#it's not like I'm not “flexible” but there's certain things I just know I can't do that with.

[dootznbootz]

I'm technically most likely demiromantic (definitely demisexual) which is technically on the aro spectrum but I'm sooooo romance favorable that it almost doesn't feel like it counts????

I'm a huge romantic sap but I'm kind of funky with crushes. I have them and I get them but I'm very particular and I almost have... control over them???

Like when I start to feel the feelings™, I then start looking at a possible relationship through "logic lens".

"Compatible here, there, there too. Okay, we're not with that though, and I will not move on that so therefore it will not work. Alright, cool! Best friend! Best friend! Best friend!"

I can just shut off the feelings™ once I get the feeling it's not gonna work, especially if it's on something I will not change. If I have a feeling there's potential, I let feelings "grow".

[shadow4-1]

I'm just imagining using a secluded space on base to do some yoga away from the 141, only to realize Ghost's been watching disapprovingly the whole time.

Like, what you lack in raw strength compared to the boys, you have in agility. You're not nearly as rigid. You're flexible, and it's only because you take the time to work on it. You have several methods but dancing and yoga are by far your favorite.

Neither hobby you can enjoy on base much, because well...you always get stared at. So, you take it upon yourself to clear out part of old studio space used for storage. It's kind of crappy, with cracked tile and dust bunnies galore, but it'll do. You play some music in your earbuds and do your beginning stretches on your mat.

When you're in the zone you're in the zone. You end up in a place far away and yet still within yourself. The burning stretch from some of your maneuvers feels so good you nearly groan. You get lost in the personal meditation. One certain position uses a specific pair of muscles in your lower back. It takes you a moment to realize why it makes you gasp. You bite your lip and decide to take a short break.

As you untangle your body you feel something's off. You're physically fine, but your heart starts to race. Your stomach lurches. You move to stand, suddenly startled by seemingly nothing.

"Yer doing it wrong."

And just like that Ghost makes himself known from behind a shelf. He's in his workout clothes, which isn't much but some slinky basketball shorts and a tank top. Black of course. His mask is the soft one he uses when he's not on the field.

You scoff at him, still feeling on edge but also relieved at no immediate threat.

"You do yoga?" You ask incredulously. "Fine, big guy. Show me how it's done."

He rolls out a mat and gestures for you to copy him. It's a simple move, one you've perfected. And yet he still shakes his head at your form. You try it again. Wrong. Again. Wrong.

"Where am I going wrong?"

You don't expect him to reach over and grab your back leg. He pulls it out further. You stumble and he rights you with the same arm. He tuts at you, but he's the reason you're off balance.

"Lift your back. No. Higher. Your hip should be down."

Next thing you know he's behind you, his large hands making your body twist and bend. You end up in the same position as you'd been in earlier, but this time you can really feel the stretch. Maybe he was right, you were doing it wrong.

You tilt your back up and feel the familiar stretch. It's better than you've ever been able to get it on your own. You can't help the soft groan that leaves your lips. The last time those muscles had been used was before you joined the 141, when you'd still had a boyfrie-

Two hands grab at those spots. Large thumbs work circles into the areas. Despite yourself, you moan. This was going a bit too far but...

The more he kneads the more you fall to your knees. You can't hold the position with your back up anymore. You practically collapse onto the mat, ass up, Ghost knelt over you.

He still doesn't let up. His thumbs dig into those circles hard enough it should hurt but instead you only feel bliss. You bite your lip, it feels so fucking good. Eventually he relents, and stops digging into you. You whine at the absence.

"That feels so good." You groan, voice sounding way too needy for what just occurred.

"M' glad." Ghost huffs amusement evident in his tone.

Ghost grabs you and flips you over onto your back. He grabs one of your legs and pushes it as far forward towards your head as he can without hurting you. He does the same to the other. It's a weird position, but it's not far off from some of the other ones you're used to. It burns but it also feels good. Considering you're flat on your back, you feel supported.

You smile up at him, a little breathless but also happy that he's willing to help you out. Yoga did not seem like something any where near his wheelhouse.

"I didn't know you liked yoga. How did you learn about this stuff?" You ask, using your own arms to hold your legs in position as Ghost gets up higher on his knees.

Ghost huffs behind his mask as he looks down at you. He narrows his eyes, his head blocking out the white light of the overhead flourescents. You feel a hand slide between the material of your shorts and the curve of your ass.

"The Kama Sutra."

[celestial-sphere-press]

what kind/style of endbands do you usually do? they look so good 👀

hi!! sorry for taking a while to answer, I wanted to make sure I could give you my best answer.

I usually do what's called a "double core" endband. I use double core endbands over the "bead on front" method because bead on front style is not great for uneven distributions of color, irregular patterns, or using more than three colors. Functionally it works by having your extra threads wrapped up inside the thread that is showing, forming the smaller secondary core. Ultimately you are doing figure 8s around the main core & then your secondary core of thread. This keeps things pretty neat & tidy. The tutorial I first used was this one by DAS Bookbinding, though I don't think his endband tutorials are his best ones. Another binder I've spoken with endbands about a lot is maleeka, who recently did an endband tutorial herself.

maybe I should do one... but it takes a lot for me to get enough motivation to make videos. I'll take this opportunity to write up some tips I've shared when people ask instead:

1. Endband core material is the MOST IMPORTANT component. You need a core that is stiff but flexible - it should NOT be floppy because it wiggles everywhere under the tension of the thread, but still needs to flex with the opening & closing of the book. You want something that doesn't compress, to reduce tension shifts in thread creating a lumpy endband. Have a smooth core is less critical but helps to avoid snagging threads & allows you some leeway on sliding threads around for adjustments. My personal choice is smooth leather jewelers cord (link is just an example, I get mine from a local craft store).

2. Thread size. All your threads need to be the same size; it will be visible if you are using two different sizes, and mess with your front core. Additionally, I know lots of people will use larger twists of multiple strands of embroidery thread, which can work, but is more likely to compress & alter its size in unexpected ways. A single strand is preferable. If you want something thicker you can find some thread weights that are heavier twists intended to be used in a single strand, not pulled apart. I prefer smaller sizes because it works better for the gradient designs I like.

3. Silk thread is your friend (if you can spend the money on it). It reduces fuzz (no fuzz like you get with cotton/DMC embroidery thread), it's usually easier to manage, has a more compact twist, and a higher shine. I use Japanese silk hand sewing thread in size #9 (9号). There's multiple brands (Tire, Daruma, KNK/kanagawa, etc). Here's a wholesale listing (minimum 20,000¥ for international). A non-Japanese brand is Guterman silk (German brand). Both the Japanese & German threads come in a heavier weight (Japanese is #16, Guterman is buttonhole).

4. Thread tension is the most important part of the actual technique. You need to ensure the threads currently wrapped in the secondary core keep tension when you are working the thread around them.

5. Working on a curve. This is only really relevant if you're doing an endband on a rounded book, but the circumference of the curve means there's more real estate on the outside vs inside of the curve. Sometimes this can cause bunching on the secondary core. My own solution to this is that sometimes I wrap the primary core but drop a wrap here or there around the secondary core (only between two wraps of the same color I'm dropping). I uh... don't know of anyone currently recommending this besides myself so I can't point to any pro endorsement for this method, it's just what works for me. Forgive my terrible writing:

6. Pattern management. I... don't really plan much how my patterns sit on the spine, which is not very helpful. HOWEVER you can do some pattern management on the fly, if you really want your pattern to end at a certain place. Thread can be packed more or less densely on the core, resulting in some pattern compression; you could also strategically drop wraps in less noticeable locations. An unintended example: I was replicating the pattern on this endband (left) when I realize I wasn't packing the thread as densely as I had the first time around (right), which resulted in the overall pattern taking up more space. You can do this on purpose, if you need to.

this was way more than you asked but it gave me a chance to put all this in one spot. Best of luck in vanquishing the dreaded EndWyrms.

[anomaliex]

Okay thinking about the bad kids' body types and physical capabilities, idk. They all start out as relatively scrawny teenagers (except for Fabian who is ripped from the beginning), some more athletic than others, but I do think all of them fill out as they get older. You can't be running around fighting and adventuring without being pretty fit.

Riz and Fabian both having maxed out dexterity is interesting to think about for me because it presents itself so vastly different. Riz has negative strength until the end, the only reason you can see his muscle is because he's so worryingly teenage boy skinny. It's not like he doesn't eat enough (though he does forget to eat or substitute coffee for breakfast a LOT) he's just kind of like that. I think Goblins are naturally built very, like, thin and wiry? The only thing I can compare this to is hey what do you picture a typical cat like. But Riz is like extra skinny and it's only a little concerning. With all the running around he does he's got surprisingly good stamina, though. He's very nimble and flexible, light and stealthy and can squeeze himself into tight spaces easily.

Fabian, with the same dex modifier, is less that. He's a dancer so he is absolutely graceful and flexible and stuff but not to this extend. Too much muscle. With how this guy is built he just couldn't possibly do certain things Riz can, mainly relating to reaching behind his back. But since he actually has decent strength his movements also have more power behind them, are more explosive. I also see this as like wow he trains core strength he's a dancer dancers are BUILT vs Riz who is really just trying to do things quickly and also quietly and also contort his body into shapes. Riz in melee combat relies entirely on technique and hitting the right spots, which Fabian does too but a lot of it is also just that it hurts if a buff dude rams a metal rod at you.

I think if the bad kids sparred or trained together these two would maybe gravitate towards each other when stretching? Not the same at all but certainly the most similar routines. Riz pokes funn at Fabian for his comparative inflexibility and Fabian pokes fun at Riz for genuinely being incapable of doing planks or push ups etc because you do not understand with -2 strength he CANNOT support his own weight like that he just can't.

In my mind Fabian's warm ups and work outs are largely what I did when I was still actively doing ballet and martial arts so it's very vivid in my mind but I don't think I can type it out. Just know that that's what he does.

Anyway Gorgug's work outs would be insane but I don't actually think he does them as intensively as Fabian or later on Kristen. I think orcish heritage just naturally makes you very strong and he only trains a little to keep it up. He mostly focuses on music and tinkering in his free time, but he definitely drags around heavy parts for his parents. Also using the heavy metal axe in general is probably a work out in itself, lol.

I don't think he ever gets like, square shaped buff like Ragh. Typical orc. He's also not,,,triangle shaped like Fabian. But I also don't necessarily agree with his junior year design still being as skinny as his freshman year one? Idk. He definitely starts out as the lanky, awkward much too tall fifteen year old but I think he grows into some muscle. He'd have a little broader shoulders, a little more refined muscle. Just a bit. He doesn't have abs or anything, though. Or well you can't see it without him tensing his muscles and holding his breath.

Still, if he's actually, idk, doing reps? they're insane. Ragh keeps up with that and probably happily declares himself Gorgug's work out buddy but no one else wants to touch what Gorgug lifts with a ten foot pole. Not that they could lift it if they tried. I'm imagining since Elmville is the home of Augeford Adventuring academy they'd also maybe have a specialised adventuring gym? Where normal people definitely can't go but martial classes can actually train effectively without having to wander off into the wilderness and do crazy parkour, or lift boulders or something.

Gorgug is particular about stretching because his parents definitely raised him to be careful and responsible when it comes to strenuous activity. He does warm ups and cool downs and stuff every time, even when sparring. Maybe especially when sparring? He is also always reminding his friends to do it because they (minus Adaine) are sometimes too over eager to start jumping each other, and he cares about them lots and doesn't want them to hurt themselves.

Enter Kristen. My god. Kristen. Kristen remembers that she should stretch and then doesn't do it and then pulls something. And then she heals herself and does the same mistake next time. For the party healer and medicine expert she is truly so, just, she's Kristen. Gorgug is very concerned.

It's been established that she started working out building up to junior year, so yeah she goes to the gym. Maybe she takes Adaine with her occasionally. Full casters aren't as particular about the physical attributes as martials but Kristen's a cleric she'll still hit you with her staff (and wears medium armor in theory) so it totally checks out that she's buff. Aside from her horrible lack of warmup I don't have much to say about her, though. She's stronger than the average person but it's not crazy like Gorgug so I don't think anything else is super notable?

I do think Adaine and Kristen work out together after sophomore year :) They have the same modifier (+2) but Kristen's actual score is one point higher than Adaine's (15 vs 14) which I think is neat. It's not a super notable difference but Kristen goes to the gym more actively and is a little stronger, and I do think with Adaine it's more magic flowing through her than actual muscle like with Kristen. Kinda reflected in how Adaine's score got that high in the first place. And of course how, Kristen is drawn pretty muscular in junior year while Adaine still is pretty slim. But yeah this isn't like, super crazy. I rambled about Adaine's strength a little before, I guess.

Theres also Fig. Aside from Riz who is almost comically weak Fig is the physically weakest of the Bad Kids. Her modifier is +0 but her actual score is 11, which means she is just slightly stronger than the average common person but not to the point it makes a difference. I think that's kinda cool if you think about it like, oh, yeah she's an adventurer and she swings around her base she's got a little muscle she's fit, but it's not notable in adventurer terms.

She's so spell heavy (cause, well, she's a pure fullcaster for most of it lol) for most of her time at Augeford so I don't imagine she physically spars with the others. Except, well, she did attend barbarian classes. A lot. Without being able to rage. I like to think she was running around and hyping people up and being hyper but not actually physically participating much? When she starts taking the paladin levels you'd think she starts physical drills but hey, don't try to put her in a box. Fig is unconventional if nothing else. She doesn't need to be that strong to smash her bass over people's heads, just strong enough. Lol.

[dadsbongos]

Oh my gosh the I GUESS part was so funny cfdjkfd It will always make me so sad that we'll likely never see the later seasons, it would have been SO funny omg How are you btw?? Anything fun you've done/have coming up? Also any random headcanon thoughts about possibly dating both laios and kabru would be as lovely as you <3 -Artemis

i giggle thinking about his snooty fucking "i GUESS" that and calling mika gay for being attracted to him, a man

i was in a bit of a rut the past week or so but i've been getting better, drawing a lot and working on personal writing projects. plan on going out with a fwend on Wednesday :3 and i'm trying to con a hot person into liking me

labru poly hcs below!!

ok to get together with these two is a nightmare though it is worth it!

i can see it being you and kabru chasing laios, being romantic rivals with laios not paying attention to either of you LOL

kabru gets charmed by you after viciously studying you for months on end to try getting a leg up on you and you're just like every other hot-blooded mammal and can agree that kabru's hot

i can see you confessing to laios (because god forbid kabru actually voice his feelings to someone) so kabru is just silently devastated until eventually being absorbed into the relationship

domestic chores were a bit of a battle at first because kabru doesn't maintain his own space and laios can't maintain common spaces bc he doesn't know what everyone else is okay with him tossing out and dishes are a NO for him

but kabru is great at delegating/managing tasks plus he can care for others. so he managed to think out a way for everyone to be happy: kabru does most of the basic chores (dishes, sweeping, dusting), laios does most of the yard work and shopping, and you the laundry/cooking ft. laios as a lil helper while picking up minor tidying (but obvi you guys can share and help as with all relationships yk)

non-negotiable tho you and laios and kabru are all legally obligated to indulging each other's niche interests. you and laios are ears OPEN to kabru's novelizations of world history and current gossip, and you n kabru listen to laios ramble about useless mythos and cryptids factoids

and ofc they listen to you prattle on about your own interests cuz that's love bby <3

when walking outside, laios likes to intentionally try finding cool bugs or dogs and kabru has to wrangle him by the collar of his shirt while you're just there like :) aw bfs

kabru looooves planning dates and doesn't usually like feeling out of the loop or surprised unless its something you three agreed wouldn't be orchestrated by him

blowout arguments are not common in any manner, since kabru's an ace at recognizing/dismantling how you feel and is flexible in asking how to better put your mind at ease

meanwhile laios just HATES fighting and arguments and is not the type to enforce his way of thinking/doing certain things unless it'll actually drive him insane (which is pretty uncommon)

kabru is probably in charge of finances cuz its just less stress for him

laios likes decorating the space but you and kabru have to nyx some of his stranger ideas (a fully functional bigfoot puppet hanging from the ceiling, fresno night crawler figures on the tv stand, etc.)

nautical themed bathroom is a for sure though i'm sorry i'm sorry, laios is white and kabru was raised by milsiril they're just going to have a nautical themed bathroom no matter how you feel about it

i have an idea i want to make a fic but can't find the time: basically the same thing where you n kabru hate each other but get along for laios' sake cuz you're both dating him. until you fuck nasty and bond for realsies <3

[changbinsboobs]

Changbin as husband is next I'm curious for his and hyunjinss

This is the longest fucking reading I've ever had so i just HAD to split it in 2 parts so bear with me. I love him but i hate him right now😩 (no i don't)

Husband Series: Changbin pt. 1

Ugh...that guy🫠 i bet you if i let him use up my whole deck he would. The amount of "ok last card" i had to say...and yet there was still so much gushing put...and ugh, i just can't stress enough how much into details he is and how much he wants to stress on them and make sure they don't go unnoticed or get misunderstood or overlooked. Reminds me so much of my audhd friend😭. Anyways back on track - tho i don't even know where to begin from, i really think he used up half my deck. I just counted 23 cards😳 i do indeed draw a lot for the others too but thats just next level. Not on topic but i think he's a really chatty drunk😂 now i wanna read on them when drunk🙌🏻😂

Ok soooo since i have so many cards ill try to combine them as much as i can and keep the messages as concise as possible so this post doesn't become a novel - the overall energy i noticed here is not so much emphasis on him as a husband but overall him as a partner in a committed relationship. Which leads me to believe he himself doesn't view marriage with such dread as the others did (there wasn't really any dread with felix bust still a certain anxiety around responsibilities, meanwhile that with changbin is absolutely nonexistent). I would say he seems himself as capable and even ready to take on that responsibility and role if the opportunity presents itself and i think he believes he'll do a good job. He's responsible, capable and can take care of it. I actually sense a feeling of pride in him about that.

Another MAJOR theme is him being a "simp" for his partner (he insists on wife). There are many cards that im trying to sum up:

He's very protective over her and doesn't let anyone say shit about her, he's giving me guard dog vibes. Also a big bodyguardy. I can see him when being out with her eyeing people and being on alert and just idk, looking scary as to scare of any weirdos before they even think about trying something. And to clear any misunderstandings up, im really not getting this coming from jealousy (not that its not there, it is😂, but its just 10% reason, out of 100), but rather because he wants the woman he loves to feel safe and protected around him. He wants her to be able to relax and trust that he will always have her back and keep her safe. He wants her pretty little witty head not to be bothered by ANYTHING!

More from the simpy train - looks up to her a lot and kinda puts her a bit on a pedestal. This is not a very debilitating energy but feels rather like something he has made peace with and accepts - which is that she is indeed better than him and he can never be able to reach her, which means he is incredibly lucky and appreciative of the fact a woman like that has chosen him and he tries whatever he can to live up to her standard and continue to give her reasons to stay with him and continue to love him. Although she can never love him as much as he does (thats his thought🥲). But as i said this doesn't feel victimy to me at all but rather just seems realistic to him and he's a big boy and can accept reality for what it is and choose to feel lucky instead of beating himself up for not being good enough and self sabotage. Im actually really shocked looking at his energy because i can really feel the strength of his mind and ughh just how innovative and flexible he is. His will is just astounding and making me really happy, despite him obviously having some issues he doesn't let himself be defined by it and chooses to spin them to him favor. What an amazing guy💗

Back to the reading - so he spends a lot of time in his head, doing A LOT of 2 things. One is being thinking of his girl and what he can do to make her happy, analyzing previous conversations to see if he missed something or if he has remembered everything. Contemplating if she maybe gave him a hint about something, or if she maybe looked hesitant with something. Maybe her body language was off? He notes that. If there was any difference in her behaviour today, if she looked different. He's really putting LOTS of energy thinking about her and analyzing her and her behaviour. Again this doesn't seem to come from distrust (although he thinks of that as well, its just not his motivator, he just considers everything, thats why) but rather for his own feeling of safety. I think he is a very thoughtful and analyzing and sensitive person in nature so this may be something he always does, except when its something very important to him, and a relationship at that - he does it even more intensely. He doesn't only think about and analyze her tho. He does that to him too, to their relationship as well. He just wants to have a good understanding and overview of everything that is happening in the relationship so he has a sense of control and safety. You can always fix something if you know its broken. Or beginning to bend. You can fix the problem before the branch brakes i think is what he wants to say. And he wants things to run as smoothly as possible with them, and once again he has taken on the responsibility to make his girls life as easy and carefree as possible and how can that happen if he leaves the whole relationship in her hands?! He can't, so he doesn't his part very diligently and tries to keep up on the same level as her, emotional-intelligence-wise.

He also doesn't to just thinking but planing & organizing. So i think he takes lots of care for other stuff too like planing and booking fun dates. If he cant attend then books fun stuff for her. Provide her with the needed tools/means for her to be able to create, to indulge in her hobbies. He really loves that feminine creator energy and really wants to do his best to encourage and provide an encouraging environment for his wife to get in her feminine creator energy and bring him joy with it. Also thats really random but he's always ready and loves giving her massages😂💗(after her long day of crafting). He just loves hearing about it, seeing the excitement in her voice and face. It charges him.

He also spends lots of time fantasizing about her. Reminiscing wonderful dates, imagining potential future ones, creating scenarios etc. He's just A LOT in his head, his mind is really really active, and its very occupied with his love. Also another random message, commitment and love are tied with him somehow. Im seeing he cant commit if he doesn't love but he also cant love if he can't commit. So i would say he's very extreme-y. Like he's either all in or all out. No middle ground. What i mean is he HAS to be this intense in a relationship because for him thats commitment, THATS expressing love. And if he's not able to do that, then his love and interest and enthusiasm begin to fade away. He HAS to be able to be like that in a relationship and i think often he has been labeled (or was) just WAYYY TOO MUCH for the girls he has been in a relationship with. Im seeing he can get very overwhelming and overbearing if the person he's with just isn't the person to enjoy that kind of commitment and effort. But to go back to the cards, he also fantasizes about physical stuff too, for example he's riding in the car, and for the whole ride he's imagining and giggling and wiggling his feet and twirling his hairs because he plays over and over how that one time while they were still just dating she looked him in the eyes with that wet sexy look, and how his whole body got shivers and his stomach dropped and his heart skipped and his palms got sweaty and he swears some saliva started dripping out the corner of his mouth and his knees got weak and he almost felt like he was gonna black out and by the time he came back to his senses she was already sooo close to his lips and them BAM. Fireworks everywhere. He can never forget how that wonderful kiss felt and how sweet the sexual tension and anticipation before it was. He plays stuff like that OVER AND OVER again the whole damn day.

While being on physical stuff, he is pretty horny ill say. But not in a bunny way,m where he wants to fuck 5 times a day, but rather when around his girl he's always half way up, always ready to rise for the occasion iykwim. I think he gets *excited*👀 very easily and is just really weak when it comes to his girl. He's always ready to deliver whenever she ask, whatever she asks. Als im seeing once again he's a giver (and despite him loving head so much) he's focused on her pleasure and he can off just from watching her enjoy...whatever it is. So yeah thats that😂

Bro im so tired im thinking about doing this in 2 parts😭 im just halfway. Ok yk what im splitting it.

[ckret2]

Ya know, as someone who suffers from a physical disability myself who read your recent post, i'm sorta curious for more details on how both Scalene and Bill viewed their shared condition. Scalene in particular, by your post, seems to have had a weird combination of pride in it (how it made her exotic and all) but also, being ashamed of mentioning it and going out of her way to medically correct it in her own child...How would you describe her, and, for that matter, Bill's, feelings?

(For anyone arriving late, this is a follow up on this post here.)

You know how some disabilities end up with a public perception where they're adored for certain "positive" aspects but people still don't understand (and are ableist about) the less positive aspects? Like how depression is romantic when it's "brood romantically like a goth heroine" but gross when it's "can't get out of bed, shower, or meet social obligations"; autism is cute when it's "hand-flapping stimming and getting super interested in a topic" but annoying when it's "noisy stimming & body rocking, won't stop talking about a topic I'm not interested in, and poor social skills"; or the face of albinism is "supermodel with porcelain skin, snow white hair, and crystal blue eyes" and never "cross-eyed sunburned dude perpetually squinting in the sunlight"?

I imagine that her condition is like that, and that she zealously latched onto the positive perception of her condition and worked that for all it's worth; but she wants to be perfect, she wants to be admirable, she wants to be beloved, so the parts of her condition that aren't "popular" have to get hidden and dealt with privately as much as possible. The pageant stage is for showing off her curves; standing funny to try to relieve her side pain is for when people aren't watching.

It's okay to have a disability, but god forbid you look disabled.

Though I wouldn't characterize the medical treatment she got for Bill "going out of her way" to try to correct it. For the most part, things like braces & physical therapy weren't for aesthetics or public perception, but actual quality of life improvements. Without that early intervention, he'd be dealing with serious chronic pain & mobility issues before adulthood.

It's like how if you have significant scoliosis as a child, wearing a back brace during your puberty growing years helps protect you from getting such a crooked back as an adult that you need spinal surgery for the pain. Even if you have no negative feelings about having scoliosis, avoiding a major invasive surgery in 30 years is probably a sound medical decision.

... It just turned out with Bill that more benign issues got swept in with the actual problems.

For Bill's part, the condition is something he'd been led to believe as a child would be a much bigger problem in his life than it ended up being. For one thing, the way the condition presented in him made him a squishy baby, but not as flexible as his mom as an adult. (Though she also worked to increase her flexibility, against every single doctor's advice ever.) And for another, he got turned into an energy being more or less at peak health, after all his childhood medical interventions did their job and before his condition inevitably started to decline in adulthood; and when he doesn't age, doesn't change, doesn't even have a physical body, the condition doesn't progress. He got the best possible outcome, and he feels weird about it.

He'd never claim he's unhappy to not be dealing with chronic pain—that'd be a dumb thing to be unhappy about, and anyway Bill is sooo happy and mentally healthy and nothing ever bothers him ever!!!—but, unspoken, he has a strange sense of loss around it. Another thing missing from the life he "should" have had. Caught in a perpetual limbo where Health Problems™ are always looming 10-15 years in front of him, and have been looming 10-15 years in front of him for a trillion years.

[within-your-eyes-if]

FAQs

Welcome to the FAQs post for Within Your Eyes. More may be added in the future!

Do you take NSFW Asks?

Yes! [Though at the moment, Asks are closed]

Will there be more poly routes?

Right now, the polyamorous routes I’ve included felt "right" to me. While I'm open to the idea of introducing more, I want to ensure that each route is well-developed and fulfilling. Therefore, I’m carefully considering any additional paths. My main focus right now is enhancing gameplay elements and keeping a manageable workload. Future updates might bring new possibilities, but for now, my energy is dedicated to enhancing the current experiences.

How many NSFW scenes will there be?

I let the story guide me a lot on certain things, letting it unfold organically, including NSFW moments. While I do follow a detailed timeline for the story, it's flexible enough to accommodate new ideas, including unplanned NSFW scenes. So, the exact number isn't predetermined — there could be quite a few, depending on how the story unfolds.

You should do __________!!

I receive a variety of suggestions for many aspects of the game. To streamline this process, I've set up a dedicated Feedback form. Please note that while I'm open to hearing your ideas, especially about technical aspects, there are limits to the changes I can implement. I encourage you to read the guidelines carefully before submitting!

Why can't the MC be a virgin?

Initially, I thought the MC's virginity could be an implicit aspect of their background, but I now recognize its significance to some players. While my story isn't purely NSFW, I can see the appeal for having this option, and I'm actively working on incorporating it — this includes adjusting existing scenes. I apologize for any oversight and appreciate your patience!

You said you've been working on this world for so long, why isn't it done?

Bringing a world that's been growing in my imagination for over a decade into an interactive format like Twine has been quite an endeavor. Initially, I envisioned a linear story with three main characters across three stories. However, as I started adapting it to an interactive, choice-driven narrative, I realized these characters wouldn't work as I had intended. This realization led to the introduction of a new character—our beloved Warden—and a shift in the storyline that hadn't been part of the original plan. These adaptations have opened up possibilities that have significantly enhanced my world. It’s taken time, yes, but the depth it's brought has been absolutely worth it!

"Who is ???" or "I already know who ??? is!"

While I love your curiosity and detective work (looking at you, code divers), I must tread carefully here. There’s definitely more than meets the eye. What you think you know is just another piece of a much larger puzzle. Regardless, I hope it will be worth the wait!

I love your story, thank you for sharing!

I promise I see you, and words cannot convey how much I appreciate and adore every message I've received. I keep them to uplift me on the hard days. I may not be able to answer them all, but know I cherish every one! Thank you for being a part of this journey ♥

[walkingstackofbooks]

After "meeting" Lisa Cusak, Julian finds he wants to get something off his chest that's been weighing him down for the longest of times. Unfortunately for Miles, it's two in the morning.

Hurt/comfort. CW: suicidal ideation.

--

They'd both been lying in silence for nearly an hour, but just as Miles was finally beginning to drop off to sleep, Julian's voice drifted up from the bottom bunk.

"Chief?"

Miles didn't bother to stifle his groan. "Yeah?"

"Do you—Do you ever think about dying?"

The unexpectedness of the question gave Miles pause, but after a second he scoffed, shaking his head. He was too tired for this.

"Go to sleep, Julian."

"But do you?

"'Course I do. We're in the middle of a bloody war."

Julian fell silent for a few seconds. Then Miles heard the sound of covers being pulled back and found himself looking into the anxious face of Julian Bashir.

"That's not quite—I meant, like... do you ever still have Agrathi thoughts about dying?" Julian asked quietly, eyes searching Miles' face, before darting down towards his feet.

"Bloody hell," grumbled Miles, sitting up and banging his head on the ceiling for his troubles. "It's two in the morning, Julian. What's brought this on?"

It was a stupid question, really. He knew the answer before the words had even left his mouth.

"I just... can't stop thinking about Captain Cusak, I guess," Julian says. "And some of the things she said. About talking to people, you know?"

"And you think I need to talk about this."

Julian shrugged. "I don't know. Do you?"

Taking a deep breath, Miles gave Julian the most reassuring smile he could muster - which was probably still more of a grimace - and shook his head. "I promise you, if I got that way again, I'd tell you, or Keiko: and she'd make me tell you. Go back to bed and stop worrying. I'm fine."

In all honesty, it was nice that Julian cared enough to ask - but it would be even nicer if it weren't in the middle of the freaking night, and so with that, Miles pulled up his blankets, rolled over, demonstrating to Julian what going to bed looked like. To his credit, Julian took the hint, and Miles soon heard the sounds of crumpling sheets and mattress creaks.

Peace returned, but that was far from enough to lull Miles back into even a comfortable doze. While he'd been quite honest in answering Julian's question, he couldn't help feeling like he'd missed something. The longer he lay there, the more uncomfortable he got with the silence below him.

By the time he'd figured out what it was, he was almost certain Julian must have fallen asleep - but that was no real deterrent.

"Do you?" he asked, into the darkness. The response came almost immediately.

"What?"

"Do you, you know... ever get those thoughts?"

"A bit." He could hear the hesitation in Julian's voice. "A lot, actually. Sometimes."

Miles' heart dropped. "For how long?"

"How long's a piece of string?"

"What's that meant to mean?"

When Julian didn't respond, Miles sat up again, intending to peer over the side of the bunk at his friend.

"What's that meant to mean?" he repeated, and - realising he was not nearly flexible enough to peer over the edge - swung his legs over the side of the bed and climbed down.

Julian was moving again, shuffling across, clearly making room for Miles to sit next to him. "Sorry, Chief," he said. "I didn't mean to worry you. I just... I was just thinking about it, that's all. Not—not that - about telling you, I mean."

"You're avoiding the question," Miles said gruffly, and Julian looked away.

"It means—It means I can't remember. Feelings... they're more difficult to pinpoint than events. I just don't know, Miles."

Miles frowned. "Not even an estimate? A few months? A year? Two?"

A bitter laugh escaped Julian, one that Miles really didn't like. "Try twenty," he replied, the number slipping off the tip of his tongue like it was nothing.

Twenty years was not nothing. Twenty years was a lifetime in an Argrathi prison. For Julian, twenty years was a lifetime. Period.

"Since you were a teenager?"

Julian shrugged. "Thereabouts."

Miles looked at him, really looked, at the well-worn lines creasing his friend's face, the ones he'd thought had only appeared with the onset of war. At his dark, sad eyes that Miles could remember being full of youth and hope and light. How could he reconcile that Julian with a teenager who—

Oh.

"The enhancements?"

His voice was quiet, as though that would make this conversation any easier on Julian.

"They didn't help."

"You... you didn't ever—"

"Do you really want to know?" Julian interrupted, his eyes hard and tired and wet with unspent tears. Miles was tired too; his heart was sore and his friend was far too complicated.

"Why start this if you don't want to tell me anything?" he asked.

"I have told you something!" Julian replied incredulously. "I'm just - I didn't expect you to make a whole conversation out of it!"

"Hah, as though you never made me talk after Argra—"

"That was different," Julian argued. "I was there, I saw you— I stopped you. This was years ago."

"So you did..."

Julian let out a long exhale, a sure sign that Miles had won the argument. If you could call it winning.

"Yeah," he said eventually. "Not immediately, but yes. With everything else that had been bubbling up over the years, when I found out what my parents had done..."

"Everything else?" Miles had thought that his voice couldn't get any softer, that his heart couldn't break any further. He'd been wrong.

Julian gave snort and a shake of his head. "We're not going there."

"Right."

Miles didn't know what else to say. What was there to say to that? A completely new history of Julian Bashir had been uncovered, one that Miles should surely have been able to discover before: if only he'd thought more deeply, asked more questions, been less afraid to entangle himself in awful, messy, emotional conversations like this...

"God, you were only fifteen—"

"Sixteen," Julian corrected, "by the time I actually tried—"

"Great. Sixteen," Miles repeated with a mirthless chuckle. "Because that makes it so much better."

Julian snorted, his face contorting into some strange sort of half-grin, and then he was laughing, and then he was crying, and Miles was holding him close, rocking him and soothing him and pretending not to be quietly terrified.

When Julian finally sat up, wiping his face roughly with his sleeve, they both looked away from each other, as though a lack of eye contact was enough to pretend that no emotional outburst had just happened.

"Seems to me," Miles said, standing up, "that you owe me a promise."

"Probably," yawned Julian, laying back down. Miles wasn't sure why he was bothering. Neither of them were going to get any sleep now.

But he guessed they had to try. "So do you?" he asked, as he clambered back into his own bed.

"I promise," came the quiet response. "I'll tell you, or Jadzia, or the captain, if—if... You know."

"Yeah. I know."

The room was silent once more, but only for a few minutes.

"Miles?"

Miles hated the way his heart started to jackhammer as soon as he heard Julian.

"Mmm?"

"Captain Cusak was right, wasn't she. It is good to talk."

"I'm not sure she meant we should substitute it for sleeping."

"I'm glad we did, though. I feel better now. Lighter."

I don't, thought Miles, but he couldn't say that. Julian's confession was a burden he'd gladly carry if it gave his friend even an ounce of peace.

"That's good," he said instead.

"I'd do the same for you, you know. Listen, I mean. If you want to—"

"I know."

"I know you don't like talking but—"

"Julian," Miles groaned. "I love you, but there's a time and a place and we both need to get some bloody sleep before it becomes morning again."

For a minute, Miles thought it had worked.

"Miles?"

Maybe if he stayed quiet, Julian would think he'd fallen asleep.

"Chief?"

Although, knowing Julian, he could probably tell if he was faking from hearing his ruddy heartbeat or something.

"Miles," Julian hissed. "What did that mean, 'you love me'?"

Well that settled it. Heartbeat or no, Julian would definitely not be getting any more responses from him.

"Miles?"

The bunk shook slightly, but thankfully it seemed Julian wasn't getting out again, only turning over and settling down. Miles dared to start counting sheep again.

"Don't worry, Chief," came the quietest of whispers. "I know you meant it."

[thegoldencontracts]

Let's Play!

After seeing Azul fall asleep at his desk, you decide it's time for an impromptu game night to relax. Of course, things end up being the opposite of relaxing.

Notes: Just pure fluff, GN reader, some flustered Azul at the end bc he was smug the whole fic and we can't have that hehe

"That's lovely to hear."

"Azul?"

"I barely said anything!"

"Mhm. Exquisite!"

"Wha- are you even listening to me?"

"You're not listening, are you?"

"Truly, fascinating."

"..."

"Azul? Did you just fall asleep?"

"..."

And that was how you ended up calling for an impromptu game night, just the two of you. It'd be fun! And maybe Azul could go to bed at a normal time afterwards.

"You just fell asleep, didn't you?"

"This is entirely unnecessary, you know."

"I do know," you said. "But it'll be fun. Do you even know what that word means, takoyaki?"

"Don't call me that."

"No can do, takoyaki. Now, what game do you want to play first?"

Azul just glared at you petulantly. You glared back. After a while, he gave up.

"Fine, fine," he said. "Scrabble. And don't expect me to go easy on you."

"Like I'll need it," you said.

You quickly regretted those words. He beat you at every single round. How? It wasn't even close! Why was he just so good at this?

"How do you-"

"Heh," Azul said, a smug grin on his face. "It seems as if you're having some regrets."

"Why, you-!" You were getting fired up. "You know what? I'm picking the next game! We're playing Uno! Good luck winning every round of that!"

He did, in fact, win every round of that. Somehow. How? It was a luck-based game, for God's sake!

"I- how did you-"

"Trade secret, my dearest," he said. "I do believe it's my turn to pick our next game, then. How about Monopoly?"

Monopoly. Yeah, that would work. Monopoly was literally about rolling dice! There was no way he could rig that!

He did. Somehow. All the rolls were in his favor. How? You checked to see if the dice was loaded. It wasn't.

"That was just you cheating!" You said.

"Have you forgotten you're playing against a member of the Board Games Club?" He said, then at your deadpan stare, added "I learned to trick throw dice.

"But that's cheating!"

"No, it isn't. There are no rules against it."

You got the feeling he wasn't going to back down on this one. Luck-based games were out of the question, then. And so were skill-based games because he was good at everything. That was all games!

Wait. You had an idea. But you would wait before trying to implement it. You wanted to end things with a win for you. That way, you could pretend Azul was at a loss.

And so, you let yourself get clobbered, over and over and over again. Now, it was the last game of the night, and it was your turn.

"Any last wins to hand over to me?" He said, smug as ever. You were going to make him eat those words.

"Why yes," you said, relishing how what you said next wiped the smirk off of Azul's stupidly kissable face.

"Twister."

Azul glared at you.

"Ah, but dear," he said bitterly, "I'm afraid we only have two players."

"That's okay, takoyaki," you replied in kind. "I have a hands free spinner online.

Azul gulped.

"Are you certain this is your choice?"

"Absolutely," you said.

You could see the bead of sweat that dripped down Azul's face. Twister was a game about flexibility, something that Azul lacked. It also put people into compromising positions, kryptonite to someone who cared as much about their image as Azul.

"I-I see," Azul said. "Let us start, then."

Twister was far more satisfying than the other games. Azul struggled way more than you did, limbs trembling with exertion, and he still refused to give up. He was so adorably stubborn.

By the end of it, you were in an easy-to-hold downward dog position. Azul, on the other hand, was stuck in an arch. Heh.

"You sure you don't wanna give up, Azul?" You asked.

"Hmph. As if I'd- Ack-!"

Azul fell, and before he could hit his head, you caught him, before pulling him into a kiss as a reward for your bravery.

As you broke away, gently lowering Azul onto the ground, he looked away from you, face red.

Cute.

"Hmph," he groaned, mumbling his words, "what was that for?"

"A prize," you said. "For me. I won this round, after all."

"And I won all the others," he said. "And yet I haven't received any prizes."

"Do you want a prize, then?"

You said it as a joke, but he bashfully nodded.

"Well then," you said. "All you had to do was ask!"

As you pulled him into a kiss, you couldn't help but think that your boyfriend was absolutely irresistible.

[myrtles-and-blood]

oh okay, thanks for answering!

so this ask is about to be very very long........ i'm sorry but i literally spent whole day on researching and didn't find this exact information (i don't trust old forums, i go here because there are people who practice this up to this day and have their own experience). for context, i'll mean lucifer or satan here because satanism/luciferianity is totally my thing

first of all, i figured out the difference between worshipping and being devoted. but what does "working with deity" means?

second. so i have no actual way of knowing that they respond to me? i self-doubt all the time, i won't be able to just trust my guts i'm afraid

third. is there a certain way of praying? i've been doing this for months now, anddd let's just say some people think i'm cringe for this

four. remembering my second question here, i'm not ~very~ religious, and i tend to require some sort of proofs that i'm not insane and i'm actually talking to someone, not just to myself...... is this bad or disrespectful or maybe it's just useless for me to try?

Long post ahead 👇🏻

First: What does it mean to work with a deity?

Deity work is asking a deity to help you achieve a certain goal. Now, worshipping does not have to include work, but work does include worship.

Let's say you want to work with Stolas because you want him to teach you about botany, geology and astronomy. You would ask him if he wants to and if he says yes, then you should establish with him certain things to take into account (imo):

What exactly do you want to work on.

How will you honour him and what offerings are you willing to give in exchange for his teachings.

What is he going to give you in exchange for your offerings and what is it going to look like in practice.

Any other stuff you want to clarify with him.

Worship is more broad, you like that deity and therefore you want to honour them out of pure love and admiration. But working means you want to get something out of that relationship, and that deity (if they want to give it to you) will ask for something in exchange, it's a give and take relationship. That's why I think it's really important to clarify those things because if the deity wants certain offerings you can't/don't want to give, that deity might have to change a bit what they want or just not work with you at all.

In my experience they are usually flexible with offerings and they know that humans are very limited, but not all deities are the same. So, if you clarify, you'll both know what to expect from it.

Second: How can I know if they're responding?

Divination methods are a very important tool in deity worship. It's very uncommon for people to just know what they are exactly trying to tell you, even if they have really developed clairsenses. Some people just don't have the ability to do that, and they are still valid and their worship is as good as anyone else's.

I have a post about divination methods I use or tried (listed at the end of the section) but there are so many that I wouldn't be able to list them all. Through these you can get a physical response, only trusting your guts is crazy work imo.

You always have to be a little skeptical with the response. In this community you always have to take things with a grain of salt, that doesn't mean you can't trust them though. When you get better at divination and have a deeper relationship with your deities the responses will be clearer and you'll end up knowing how that deity communicates.

You can always ask for signs, too. Sometimes I ask for a sign form Lucifer and BOOM giant triangle that resembles too much his sigil. I remember this one time Beelzebub was trying to talk to me and my bathroom had a fly infestation until I asked him what was up. After you start talking to Beelzebub you just have to assume you'll have a fly following you around for the rest of your relationship.

You can ask for a specific sign like "send me something that has to do with zebras if you think I should try xyz" or maybe "send me something related to you if you are trying to reach me". I also add that it needs to be very obvious because I'm bad at catching signs and I'm very skeptical about them.

Again, learning and practicing divination methods is very important for deity worship, that's how you communicate with them. Do a bit of research and see what you'd like to try.

Third: How do I pray?

Actually this is a very valid question. Praying is something very personal imo and you can get as creative as you'd like.

The next image is from The Complete Book of Demonolatry by S. Connolly — This is a must read if you want to get into demonolatry. The author's explanation on how prayer works applies to all prayers, and this structure is what I personally follow.

I don't know how you've been praying and to who, but there are many ways to do this, and being cringe is not a problem for divine beings like Demons. Imo cringe culture is the stupidest thing ever, do whatever feels right.

Four: Can I just try this and see how it goes?

In my very wide experience in making mistakes, yes you can. And should.

Lucifer taught me from the very start that being curious and trying stuff is one of the most important things in life. He wants me to try things, and fail at them so I can learn more and be better. He wants me to question stuff, to research, to think. Tackling this new experience is something good that will lead you to learn about this topic and see if you enjoy it. And if it doesn't feel right you can just stop.

Try this out, be respectful and do as well as you can. If you love it, welcome! If you don't, then I hope you find something that makes you feel as good as this makes me feel.

It's totally normal you feel skeptical about this, I still do, too. I'm having faith crises all the time, mostly because my practice is not very settled, but it's still normal to question the existence of your beliefs. I'd say Lucifer encourages this questioning too, even if that means questioning his existence lol.

My advice is that you go ahead and try this out. Be respectful, approach a Demon you feel drawn to and talk. You'll probably not get a response, but talk to them. Let them get to know you, and ask them questions through divination so you can get to know them. Do some prayers, give them stuff, maybe build a small altar, see where this takes you!

Two recs I think are cool

I really encourage you to read The Complete Book of Demonolatry by S. Connolly — it is very easy to read and to understand, has lessons and lots of info for beginners. I come back to consult it a lot and I'm still doing the lessons.

I really like @thrashkink-coven 's blog. He mostly talks about Lucifer, but has also experience with some Hellenic deities and angels. His content is a big part of what got me into actually starting to practice and doing more research on religion. I even got into reading the Bible because of one of his analysis! Very recommended.

To anyone who knows more than me about this, feel free to correct any mistakes and add any info!

With your permission I dedicate this post to Lucifer. May Lucifer illuminate your way towards your true path. I hope I helped you with this! 🌹

[diagonal-queen]

ok so wht abt flexible!reader with dazai, chuuya, and fyodor? like it can be taken in an nsfw way or just their general reaction to it

Reader who is flexible

♡ pairing: Dazai Osamu, Chuuya Nakahara, Fyodor Dostoyevsky x gn!flexible!Reader

♡ synopsis: How do these boys react to finding out their S/O is flexible?

♡ cw: Suggestive content (damnit Dazai and Chuuya), swearing, for Chuuya I'm assuming reader is also in the mafia.

note: Of all the reqs I never expected one like this, I enjoyed writing it! Also what do you guys think of this colour scheme? I know it’s random but like it reminds me of the ocean a little bit…I hope you like it too 🌸 Apologies for errors, I hope you enjoy :)

Dazai:

It wouldn't be Dazai if he wasn't sometimes being a little bit of a pervert (exhibit A: "Miss Sasaki's sexy." - Dazai, while she's sitting right there after enduring physical trauma)

His mind definitely wanders to some inappropriate places. And he lets you know about it (damnit Dazai)

But he'd also be generally curious about it, and ask you to do certain poses and stuff and be like 'woahhhh :O' when you do them (it's actually really cute to see)

Probably comes up with some fancy new double suicide methods that are compatible with your flexibility, kinda like the barrel thing he did in ep. 2 I guess? But less painful

Would bring it up out of nowhere. Like if he sees a vent or something in the ceiling he'd point it out and be like 'Do you think you'd be able to fit in there'

Makes 'The Ring' and 'The Exorcist' jokes and asks you to recreate their poses from the movies lol

You have to remind him that being flexible doesn't make you a contortionist (in his head they're basically the same I guess lol)

Despite all this he's actually very impressed by it. You're his S/O after all! Anything you do is worthy of his praise ^-^

Chuuya:

He is concerned about your health. And your spine.

Don't get me wrong, he's definitely impressed. But he can't shake off the twinge of worry that you're gonna dislocate a joint or something whenever you're stretching/flexing. At least, this is the case the first time he sees the extent of your flexibility lol

That being said, he does think not only can it be useful while fighting but ~other things~, so he doesn't mind it at all

Chuuya strikes me as a mating press enjoyer

Chuuya is also pretty flexible so you two would work on incorporating that into your self-defence skills (we all saw that one scene from Fifteen- y'all are doing some epic kicks)

He thinks it's cool but he always reminds you not to overexert yourself and to try not to tear anything. If you did though, don't worry- he'd help take care of you <3

Probably asks you to demonstrate it to your guys' friends like 'Hey babe show 'em that thing you did the other day' lol (he wants to brag about it so bad)

Even though it makes him worry a little he does legitimately respect your flexibility. He knows it would have taken a lot of work to develop the skill and so he admires it

Fyodor:

He's an old-fashioned Russian dude who enjoys the arts. This man has seen a Swan Lake production or two in his life.

So he's rather impressed to see that you're physically flexible, because he respects ballerinas and how much work they put into their physicality (AND SO SHOULD YOU 😤). This is the case even if you don't do ballet (he just assumes that you've trained hard regardless), but he does suggest it to you. He'd also probably offer to pay for lessons lol

One of the main reasons it impresses him is because he isn't able to do it himself (he's brittle T-T) so he's like...'well you must be a very special individual' lol

Tells you not to tell Mykola about it, not for sexual reasons- Mykola's just a dick and he'd mess with you for hours (and tbh also probably make sexual comments on it now that I think of it)

He lowkey finds it kind of interesting. Like Dazai he'd probably ask you to do certain poses and stuff since he's kind of amused by it

Honestly, besides that he doesn't really...care? Lmao it's not like he doesn't care about you or he's not impressed by it, but it really just doesn't affect his life at all outside of that

Unless you guys...uhh...use it in other ways? > - >

i'm sorry if this is a little vague and boring...i got a big case of block today... (ノ_<。) i'm sorry anon i love you

[danieyells]

Sure Haku can have big balls but we all agree Alan Thoma and Jiro have big dicks? But not like slightly above average but rather 20 minutes foreplay just to loosen up but still be a fair stretch, big as in a fair amount of lube is needed to even slip the head in and might need more to fully thrust inside

You only need that kind of prep if you're a coward!

THEY ARE RATHER LARGE MEN y'know as far as the bishie style goes. It'd be pretty proportionate of them to be well hung and i'm all about sicknasty size difference and distention if you've got a small enough partner--

Fortunately all three of them are. . .idk graceful enough not to be cruel about it.

Alan is definitely inexperienced and he's already so fucking scared of harming his partner he would just. . .whenever they try and get him in bed he just goes "We can't. Sorry." Fortunately he's not the type to, y'know, beat around the bush so if they ask him he'll explain. . .and if they say they wanna try anyway he'll give it a go but he'll be ready to stop the moment they seem uncomfortable or in pain. Which means a lot of reassurances that it's fine, it's fine, keep going. It'll be a lot of convincing, but he'll be as slow and gentle as he can! His partner would probably have to do a lot of leading. . . . Alternatively he'd be all about getting them off and appreciating their body and when they wanna return the favor he hesitates then says they don't have to. He can take care of it himself if they don't want to. And they're like 'why would I not want--oh' when he pulls out this monster.

Tohma has much more experience and is much more confident overall. When things reach that point with his partner he's a little more direct. Maybe he grinds against them to let them get a subtle feel long before the first time they do it, or he just takes their hand and lets them have a feel for themself. "Do you understand? If we take that route, I'm going to need a fair bit of your time. . . ." He knows just how to prepare them, just how to stretch them out, and he makes certain to pleasure them the whole way--and if they're a little limp from the pleasure buildup then. . .that'll just make it easier to put it in at the end. He might hold them up and gently guide them down onto him. . .use them as a little fleshlight once they've gotten used to it enough.

Jiro isn't even fully aware of that he's particularly large. Like, numerically he is, he's studied anatomy before and he's seen Yuri naked and he's a lot smaller(well, Yuri's smaller in every aspect) but it somehow hadn't occurred to him that it could be a problem. Meanwhile the one who knows is Yuri--and when Jiro's partner shows up, Yuri just looks at them in irritation. "Ah, yes, Jiro did say he had plans today after his treatment." And Yuri just thrusts a particularly large, unlabeled jar of gelatinous fluid at them, telling them not to take too much time because they are very busy and Jiro being occupied is a hindrance. And Jiro's like "oh, Yuri said we'd need a lot. I've read that too much can reduce the pleasure, though. I don't care either way, so just use as much as you want." (Not that he can't feel it or anything, he's just. . .indifferent for the most part. It doesn't bother him if he doesn't come, he'll take care of it later if it's a problem.) And of course they understand why they thought they'd need so much when Jiro whips it out. Jiro's very analytical about the whole thing, once he realizes that hm, yes, this won't fit, but with enough elasticity--he's got no problem figuring out what should be done to prepare. The massive jar of lube may or may not be experimental but it does the job with great efficiency. . .turns out it was an experimental gel for anomalous ailments where the afflicted turn to stone or wood with the intention of relaxing muscles and joints and regaining flexibility, but it works great as a lubricant! Jiro's also not very experienced and his tendency to experiment means he might be a little rough just to see how it all works, but he's considerate enough of his partner not to go too hard once he realizes oh that hurts, huh. Kinda antithetical to the evening's plans.

[atlasscrumpit]

Hello love,

Might I request a very possessive Miguel marking up reader as his and reminding them that no one can take them away from him?

Miguel x Reader

You came home and saw Miguel sitting in his chair nursing a whiskey in his hand as he looked at you.

"Fucking hell..." You grumbled as he glared at you.

"Nice night out?" He asked making you roll your eyes.

"Miguel, it was a work meeting." You mutter, throwing your bag down and starting to strip off your work clothes.

"A work meeting at a bar?" He grumbled standing up and following you into the room.

"Yes, my work is flexible and we like to have some fun and bond." You grumbled, changing into your pjs.

Once you were changed he grabbed your wrist and glared at you.

"You were at a bar with other men and you were drinking. You know my rules." He growled as you stared at him.

"Yes, but this was work! Why can't you just fucking trust me?" You growled as he gripped your throat and glared into your eyes.

"Don't shout at me." He growled dangerously low.

"Miguel, I have a job, I have certain things I need to do." You replied, lowering your voice.

"Fine... But, next time you do I'm going to make sure everyone knows you're taken." He whispered as you looked up at him.

"What the hell does that mean?" You muttered as he smiled.

"Why don't I show you, baby?" He whispered, letting go of your throat before he gripped your hair, forcing you to bare your neck.

He leant in and began sucking on the skin of you neck.

"Miguel..." You muttered breathlessly as he pulled away a little.

"Shh, quiet now. I just need to show everyone that you're mine." He whispered kissing you roughly as you kissed him back.

--

You laid against Miguel, your naked skin against each other as you tried to catch your breath.

Your body littered with bruises and scratch marks as he played with your hair.

"I love you..." You muttered looking up at him as he smiled, you could see satisfaction in his smile.

"I love you too, darling."

[liketwoswansinbalance]

Rafal Has Baba Yaga Morality

I can't quite contain or explain my evil ways Or explain why I'm not sane All I can say is this is your warning

This one is less of a theory and more of an observation. It's also partway a "defense" of Rafal, but not really.

Note: The "you" referenced doesn't refer to anyone in particular. It's just the pov of a would-be victim, or the collective, generalized "you" that would form an audience.

⸻

Rafal has very "Baba Yaga," "The Scorpion and the Frog," "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat," "It's exactly what it says on the tin" morality, but that's not to say he's at all predictable. He's predictably unpredictable. He is the poisonous frog or bird, draped in naturally bright colors, that is very obviously toxic.

And no one believes him or his outward "labels" when they wrongly give him the uncalled for benefit of the doubt (probably because he's intentionally attractive)! And it usually works out in his favor! Which is a strength in a way. It's only the rare Good he does on occasion that leads people to believe otherwise, or think too highly of him, when really, he's flawed and human, humanly grey.

From there, we know he has the capacity to be both lethal and kind, like the figure of Baba Yaga in the tales:

"Baba Yaga is an ambiguous figure in many folktales and legends. While sometimes she is depicted as a cannibalistic, child devouring witch, other times she is a benevolent sorceress who assists the hero or bestows knowledge."

His morality is variable. He can be both Good and Evil when the situation calls for it. He is adaptable, flexible, and not 100% consistent like Baba Yaga is, not any one thing or role.

I've never read the source material, but this quote I've seen exemplifies him well:

“He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature.” ― Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

As for the tale of "The Scorpion and the Frog," referenced in TLEA, he often doesn't lead people on. They do that all on their own with their assumptions and he reaps the benefits. Oftentimes, it's others' own faults for screwing themselves over. They know cognitively that he's Evil, but the fact doesn't actually register in their brains.

And that is a feat in itself, in their world, in the world he lives in. It is absolutely commendable in a perverse way, so I must applaud him at this point.

Despite not bothering to present himself, despite not caring about presentation (on a conscious level, if that's the lie he tells himself?), and despite presenting himself as the worst, at his personal worst, his poorer nature, he still surprises people with his humanity.

But, what they should never be surprised by is his Evil. You do not forget what a spear is capable of just because it's used as a walking stick for however long. You do not suddenly trust a ravenous, wild animal because it appears domesticated.

He steps forward as his worst self, his craftiest, least trustworthy self, that is artful and guileful and who will outwit you, who will outfox you, and you still trust him, while not managing to feel insane for doing so. Somehow, you're compelled to trust him, if only because he's so magnetic and attractive of a force, like a certain type of true Evil sometimes is, that charisma. He attracts people and doesn't repel them. Again, it's not always consciously his fault—it's just a quality to his very being.

And, if you still lie to yourself and think he's not using you after that, after glaring, flashing, blaring warning signs, you have only yourself to blame.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

Yet, in this particular case, even the first time, you haven't been fooled. You were never fooled. You just thought otherwise, awarded Rafal the benefit of the doubt, and played the fool.

You've only chosen to believe what you wanted to see and have led yourself astray. Because, he never fooled you. He was not the active agent in that last sentence. Read that line again, I ask you. He never fooled you.

You built your own illusions of him, in your mind, by your perceptions. You've painted Rafal differently than how he truly appears in his true form. You've laid your own bait, set your own trap, made your own bed, dug your own grave. It's often not entirely his "fault." (Unless, he's in conscious manipulation mode.)

That is why you are the author of your own misfortune, and he is not. He is "blameless," in that one regard. He is not whom you've made him into. Thus, never trust him is the moral here. And that is what everyone should know, if they ever want to beat Rafal at his own game.

Except Rhian. Rhian should have been the one person to trust Rafal, unlike all the rest. But the opposite happened. All the rest trusted him, and Rhian did not. (The irony!)

"And so it is written." You got exactly what you told him you wanted (if we go by "exact phrasing" logic, like with a rogue genie) or, alternatively, you got what he told you you'd get. He just outmaneuvered you.

The fascinating thing is: he never lies about what he is and whom he truly believes himself to be: Evil. It's his true nature (discounting his arc in Fall for a moment).

People can only blame themselves when they expect him to miraculously rise above and set his best foot forward. It just isn't what he does. And that's just like how the scorpion acts with the frog. The frog naively believed the scorpion would betray its own nature. But the scorpion is a scorpion. What else can you expect? Each of Rafal's victims had been too soft and idealistic about him.

He is an honest villain, a constructive villain, not a destructive one, as I once sort of coined the term, in an earlier post.

Once, in the Doom Room, Rafal even told Midas outright that he could offer Midas nothing, truthfully, aside from trying to get Midas home to Gavaldon. Probably, because in that moment, honesty would have served him better than a lie could have.

That is one thing I find strange and that I somewhat "admire," if you can say that about a clear-cut villain. For all he does, he is (almost always) straightforward and open with his plots. (Unless he withholds information, but that is not lying. Instead, such behavior falls under strategic lies of omission, a completely separate matter.)

It must be another trick up his sleeve, a weapon in mental arsenal. He is often open, clear, and honest about his intentions, say, with James and simply letting him die after he's served his purpose, at least. James wasn't kept the dark.

The point still stands. Rafal doesn't represent himself as something that he's not. Sure, he is a trickster, but he doesn't deny it, or lie about it.

He never leads people to believe he is someone he is not, or when he does, how much of it can you blame on him when everyone already knows he's the very public figure of the literal Evil School Master?

He owns his identity, (or what he sees himself as)—which is as close to the truth as he can realistically get because it's all he knows. He's not an omniscient being.

He does the "best" that he can, and he's usually not wrong about souls, others' souls, that is. Not his own. Apparently. But, few literary characters are capable of complete and total self-awareness, and Rafal is no exception to that. If he were 100% self-aware, the story wouldn't work. That said, I think he was more self-aware than Rhian, initially.

To reference the trickster archetype in relation to him again: he can really swing either way. Everything is up to his whims, impulses, or calculated designs, at any given moment, even if he appears to play "fair," meaning, usually, that he plays with interpretations, loopholes and the like, while staying within certain constraints.

He's not discreet like Evil Rhian had been for a stint. He had been proud of his Evil, to an extent. So, perhaps, that grants him a little leeway or likability. At the start, he simply isn't ashamed of himself, for working situations and people to his advantage (until his conscience catches up to him a little). His Evil is the high-flying banner he and his Nevers unite under; it's their common purpose/drive, to live and to strive for.

But, it always bears repeating: His reputation always precedes him as the Evil School Master.

So, again, you can't blame him for anything Evil he's done, can't pin it on being unexpected because it's always expected. You let your guard down. You can only justifiably be surprised when he does Good, and let that temper and moderate your expectations. (And the inverse of all this is probably why we sometimes might have expected too much, not too little, as is the case with Rafal, from poor Rhian.)

If Evil is what all have come to expect, like what James Hook expects from Rafal: a cold, soulless person, driven by deep villainous purpose, and Rafal doesn't directly tell anyone otherwise about his nature, no one can argue Rafal didn't play "fair," by those technical standards.

They knew exactly whom they were dealing with, and (unconsciously?) chose not to believe the man himself, the one who should know himself best.

By the Rules of Good or Evil, you expect him to be unpredictable, and you can call him out on being unpredictable because he's known for it. Known to commit atrocities, even when you seem to have trust between the both of you. That's why you can never tell.

I don't think Rafal actively encourages or cultivates trust in other people (unless it's a case of his deliberate manipulation). Part of the facade others perceive could just be his "trustworthy" aura.

And, people still expect better from him, implicitly! But how wrong they are. If nothing else, the misplaced trust probably stems from the aura he exudes as I can't think of another reason at the moment.

Because, like always, they put their trust in him—he didn't force them to hand it over—so, they have exactly themselves to blame, when they underestimate him, or think they can beat him.

That's why, in the end, I feel like the phrase: “It takes one to know one” applies really well to Rafal because he continually saves Rhian from being taken advantage of by men a lot like himself, considering how he constantly takes advantage of and uses others.

Now, I'll just leave you with this parting thought: as a villain, Rafal weaponizes the naivete and stupidity that is already there, already present in his victims. So, when Rhian sheds his naivete, he can no longer be used by his brother.

TLDR: Rafal is everyone else's "Vulcan" in a world full of trusting "Rhians."

[leonawriter]

I just got reminded of my feelings about Makoto by looking at choices, and thinking about how out of all the Phantom Thieves, she's my least favourite. How I'll actively choose her last. Which is - well, originally I was thinking "that's not something people would want to read, though, is it?" but then I remembered that I'd been asked to share my thoughts on her, and how I'd (re)write her.

So. Makoto.

I'm going to start out with the things I dislike about her, and address them as best I'm able, along with what I'd like to have seen instead.

The first thing that comes to my mind is a rather broad aspect, which is that even after she becomes a Phantom Thief and embraces her own rebellion, she has a bad habit of assuming that everyone should fit her own view of "a successful life" and that she's doing nothing wrong by helping others achieve that. This kinda seeps into everything else, and informs her failings.

The small - and not all bad - way that this shows through is in the way that she pushes everyone on the team to keep their grades up. She effectively acts as someone to remind them to study, who reminds them of how important their schoolwork is, and also how important not slacking off is when they're trying to keep a low profile.

The good part of this is that yes, most of them DO need this! They're not good at remembering to!

The bad part is... she only knows her own way of studying. So we end up frequently seeing scenes that have study sessions ending with Ann, Ryuji, or others going "I haven't been able to learn anything." And of course they haven't! They have different learning styles, and different needs. Ryuji especially is ADHD. This also kinda says to me how she's not as effective as the Student Council President as she wants to be - because she isn't flexible, and can't see her fellow students' individual needs.

I think that what would have been cool would have been if, after awakening her Persona and starting to hang out with the Thieves more often, there was a main storyline b-plot with her actively trying to learn how to connect with her peers not just with arcade games, but by talking to them about things that would actually help them learn better, which would be things that she could actively pass along to the teachers and would improve the school. If she paid attention to the study habits of her friends even, she'd be able to say "this works better for people like Ryuji, this works better for people like Ann..." and that, too, would be an improvement.

Or, alternatively, that could be a replacement for her canon confidant, which is... less than ideal.

Talking of her confidant... hm! A lot to talk about!

For one thing, when I was going through that story the first time, I thought that it would match the theme of the game if the guy Makoto's new friend was dating wasn't actually one of the bad ones, and that Makoto was making assumptions about people based on her own preconceived notions of them, but that... was hardly the case.

Like, yeah, that's an issue that could be brought up as a real problem, and there is a difference between those guys taking advantage of girls and a woman getting taken advantage of, but... there IS a certain irony and double standard that Akechi's mother was portrayed as a sex worker who committed suicide, and how the men are only allowed to be predators, not victims themselves. It could've just been one. And maybe this is just me! And it's kind of an aside to the point.

But yeah, we have her basically interfering with her new friend's life choices, and that's... another example of "everyone should do what Makoto thinks is best" in a way, and the game's storyline/script proves her right. It would have been great if something had proved her wrong, and forced her to think about her prejudices and assumptions!

Moving on, and I'm gonna quickly point out how she treats Futaba. Makoto trying to get Futaba to respond in a more neurotypical way and (basically) Just Stop Being So Autistic is painful. Thing is? Makoto as she is at this point? I wouldn't expect her to be any different. She's still learning. What I'd like would be if she could learn over the course of the story to just... accept people as they are more. Because yes, this is another point for "everyone has to be the way that Makoto thinks makes a successful member of society." But given how much trouble she has interacting with others, I do have to wonder - how much of this is what her sister drilled into her?

Perhaps, even, we could have had Makoto bonding with Futaba in later scenes over how neither of them really understand how to make friends or fit in with society, just in different ways. That'd be nice.

The funny thing is?

If you add up her canon traits - everything that falls under the umbrella of "people should act and conduct themselves in a manner that fits what Makoto thinks is best" - then unfortunately, you DO end up with the perfect kind of person who'd want to apply for a job with the police, whose JOB it is to ensure that everyone plays by the rules, and becomes a "good, functioning member of society," effectively.

This does not oppose her place in the Phantom Thieves, because the ones that the Phantom Thieves target are people who the law should be bringing to justice anyway, but because of the corruption, is not. The reason the theme of rebellion even exists at all is because the law isn't doing its job. If the law was doing its job, if people were good and kind to each other as they're supposed to be, then the Phantom Thieves wouldn't be needed. (This isn't me criticising the game for saying this. I actually agree.)

But being a cop isn't the way to go about creating change when she should know damn well by the point she says that she wants that profession in her confidant, and it's her own attitude that prevents her from seeing that.

If, however, there were all of these relatively minor changes to her writing?

If she was forced to see that her assumptions can be wrong, that she isn't always right about how the world should be and how people should act? If she learned to be flexible in helping others study and also in realising that some people just need to exist in their own way, and that's not bad?

Then she'd already be partway to becoming some kind of social worker, who'd be able to make an actual change in the world, and even if it's not on the big scale that she was thinking about, it'd still mean the world to whichever kids or adults she was able to help.

If she could find the temperance to learn a balance between "understanding how the law works" and "knowing that it does not always work in the favour of the people she wants to help" then she would be SUCH a better character.

And- like I said. All it would take would be a few minor changes.

Also as a disclaimer: I'm well aware that a big part of why she's written the way she is, as well as why she's so damn popular, is because she really is that goody two shoes character that has a veneer of rebellion without actually going the distance, so - especially in Japan, where she was created - that makes her more marketable.

As well, the game goes to great lengths to state how badly corrupted the police are, and I wouldn't be surprised if Makoto wanting to be a "good" police officer is its way of evening that out so that the game isn't seen as "too anti-establishment/police" when that would harm sales, or potentially get it to not be made at all.