#it's not conventional heartbreak

[cry-ptidd]

This panel hurts me btw

[avasefullofnations]

Watching heartbreak high and oof episode 6 of season 1 hit hard when it came to Quinni's story line. There's nothing worse than sharing something that just makes you so happy/excited only to look over and realize that the other person could care less (and won't even pretend to be at least a bit excited for you)

[mekatrio]

dont know if i did smth to cause this or the game is just glitched but for some reason jade is saying guy's voiceline outside of a game cutscene which is not smth that ever happens huhhhh

[davidmariottecomics]

Too Many Conventions!

Hello! 

Turns out, I'm a liar. If you read last week's blog, I ended it with a whole little plan for the next couple of weeks, completely having forgotten that I'm about to enter the most convention heavy stretch I have all year! This is my last "free" weekend until April pretty much! 

A week from today, 2/25, I'll be at the Arizona Comic Book Arts Festival! If you're anywhere near the Phoenix area and want to see me to buy comics or bring your own to get them signed, this is the place to do it! I'll be bringing a pretty chunk of my stock, including stuff from Sonic, Godzilla, and pretty much what's left of my Transformers/Hasbro stock! Maybe this one, maybe in a couple more events like this, I'm going to be running out of Transformers vs. Terminator and Wreckers, so get 'em now while you can! Becca will be there too and you can get us both to sign our little mini-comic, Jimmy Squarefoot! We'll also be bringing copies of a zine we made explaining the issues with AI! And Becca will have a bunch of other stuff at their own table! 

There are a bunch of other really great people attending including Elizabeth Brei, Danny Djeljosevic, Mitch Gerads, Steve Rude, John Layman, Henry Barajas, Jay Fotos, Jeff Mariotte, Marcy Rockwell, John Yurcaba, Andrew MacLean, Alexis Zirrit, Meredith McClaren, James Owen, Ryan Cody, Tone Rodriguez, Cecil Castellucci, and so many more! So come on out and see us! 

Then, Becca got into WaifuExpo the following weekend, 3/3-3/5! It's going to be a cool little adult (18+) focused con in the Dallas-Fort Worth area! Becca's going to be in the artist's alley and I'm going to be there as their booth babe. I will NOT be bringing any of my stuff, only Becca is tabling (*tho if you are planning to attend and get ahold of me ahead of time, I might be able to pack a few things to give in person). Becca's working very hard on preparation and will have some exclusive stuff for adults debuting there! 

Similarly, lots of cool guests including some very notable cosplayers and voice actors and other artists! It also seems like it's going to be a very activity heavy con if that's your jam! 

It's also our first time in the DFW area, so if you have recommendations, those would be appreciated! 

Then, if everything goes right with the first two cons and I'm still feeling groovy, I am tentatively planning on going up to TFCon LA on 3/10. Again, this is health and finances permitting after two other back-to-back shows, and I am not coming as anything other than an attendee, but if you catch me at Jack Lawrence's table and want me to sign your Wreckers or Alex Milne's table and want me to sign your TF/Terminator or whatever, I'm happy to do so! 

And finally, I expect to be attending WonderCon 2023, March 24-26! Again, same deal as TFCon--my availability will depend a little bit on not having gotten sick/burned out from the other shows with only one weekend of "downtime" and I'm going mostly as an attendee, rather than tabling individually or with IDW, but this is the one con where I'll be most open for meetings. 

After that, I have to assume that I'll hibernate until the summer! And somewhere around there I'll get back to what I mistakenly proposed last week and do another "Ask Me (Almost) Anything". In the meantime, new posts are going to be coming to the blog, but they'll be a little irregular because they'll be coming in-between shows! 

Thanks for rolling with that change and hope to see you soon! 

What I enjoyed this week: Blank Check (Podcast), Honkai Impact (Video game--I managed to get the new Kiana and Mei back-to-back, so I'm pretty happy!), House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski (Book), Poker Face (TV show), Romantic Killer (Anime), Warioware Inc (Video Game), The Fablemans (Movie--I cried 3 times!), Kaguya-Sama: Love is War-The First Kiss That Never Ends (Movie), Valentine's Day, Snack vs. Chef (TV show), Chainsaw Man (Manga), rearranging my desk (I had to dust the... 150 [estimate] little hunks of plastic on my desk and decided to rearrange them), Becca's first Twitch stream (more on that below)! 

New Releases this week (2/15/2023): Off week for my books

New releases next week (2/22/2023): Also an off week for my books!

Announcements: Wait, this is still a section? With all that other stuff I've already been promoting? Well... Yeah! 

Social Media - I am still primarily on Twitter because that's still where I know the most people and the format I like the best, unfortunately, but you can find me on all my socials here as I continue to try to move away from that site that is less and less functional each day! And, hey, sometimes it still works to reach people like this update on Sonic (it is good and fine and in many languages and countries). 

Aradia Beat - The past few weeks, I've been plugging this cool Magical Girl Anthology Magazine that Becca's part of! This morning, the campaign closed and they had just exceeded their second stretch goal! Thanks anyone here who contributed and if you missed out, well... you missed out! No, but give Aradia Collective a follow and they'll be able to tell ya if there'll be any other ways of getting it in the future! 

More Magical Girls - Our pals Elizabeth Brei & Danny Djeljosevic and a bunch of their friends are getting close to their goal on their Kickstarter for Sweet Little Resistance, which you should check out! And you can tell them you're psyched for it at AZCAF! 

Becca is a busy beean - Somewhere in all this con prep and the many shows we're attending, Becca's also managing regular Patreon updates (and this month, any new sign-ups will have their first pledge go to The Brown Building here in San Diego). They're also open for commissions. And they're now streaming Wednesdays & Saturdays (including tonight, but not when we'll be at shows) on Twitch! I'll usually be there too, moderating the chat and making jokes, playing the soundboard or whatever. You can check out their first stream playing Heartbreak High on their page now! I think the plan is Wednesdays will be games and Saturdays will be art, so come check it out and hang! 

Legislative Tracking - Legislators are doubling down on attempting to pass anti-trans bills. Fortunately, some of them are not managing to move forward. Unfortunately, the bad guys keep trying. Here is a legislative tracker for you to keep an eye on and hopefully if anything is happening locally to you (and on the federal level), you're able to reach out to your reps and can tell them to knock that shit off. 

Pic of the Week: A very dumb little promo I made for all of our upcoming stuff (or... well, a lot of it) to the theme of Ant-Man & the Wasp: Quantumania, in theaters now! (NOTE: Made when Aradia Beat was still funding, it's over now, sorry!)

[firefly-fez]

what no one tells you about autism is that befriending a new autistic person is a process of learning their own unique language of love. are they comfortable with eye contact? physical touch? hugs or no hugs? special interest? what textures do they like? should we converse about the special interest or just spend some time with limited conversation just vibing in each other’s company? for neurotypicals there’s like this boring standardized List of Rules that you Have to Follow Or Else! but for my autistic friends out there the rules don’t apply!! they way they connect is each so unique and personal to them that the discovery of getting to know a new person ceases to be this laborious task of following Social Rules until you get comfortable enough to do away with them, but with autistic ppl you get to throw away the stupid rule book right from the get go and embark on a personal adventure of friendship anew, like there’s a secret language you’re uncovering and evey time you successfully connect you feel that magic of blossoming friendship tenfold. shoutout to all my autistic homies out there, you’re not weird, you’re not a burden, there’s nothing wrong with the way that you specifically connect with others and actually i have decided that it is beautiful ✨ ✨

what no one tells you about being autistic is people just don’t like you. maybe you make friends, but they get tired of you fast. even if you’re not actively bullied, your peers just…. don’t pay attention to you. something about you is offputting and weird to mostly everyone, and you literally cannot stop it no matter how hard you try.

[mirrren]

Going back to straight fanfiction after years of gay men making out on my screen at all times of the day is kinda like going back in the closet for a few months. Or like. Reading a book and then watching the adaption

It’s like. I know this. I used to read this all the time but now it’s different? There’s something missing. Not enough tension

[toyoumyloves]

You know, even if you didn't break up with me, I'm not sure how much time we would be spending together bc I'm busy as hell though I suppose I wouldn't be so hurt that I made myself too stressed to the point where I forget to sleep sometimes if you hadn't broke up with me

- 🌙

[secular-jew]

I’m a Palestinian American. Here’s Why I Can’t Support the Anti-Israel Protesters. By Elizabeth Gillanders. August 16, 2024

Walking past Union Station in the nation’s capital, I recently was met with a heartbreaking sight. Vandals had defaced the Columbus Memorial Fountain with spray paint, writing the words “Hamas is coming” in big red letters.

Trash and signs discarded by anti-Israel protesters littered the ground. A burnt shopping cart stood off to one side with piles of ash beneath it.

Most depressing, however, were the three bare flag poles that had been robbed of their American flags. Protesters had burned the flags, the only remnant a charred piece of fabric atop another pile of ash.

This was the aftermath of the July 24 “pro-Palestinian” protests in Washington, D.C., organized in response to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s address that day to a joint meeting of Congress.

As an American of Palestinian heritage, some expect me to cheer on these people. They expect me to condemn the U.S., hate Israel, and support Hamas, a terrorist organization dedicated to wiping out the Jewish state.

But these expectations don’t represent me, nor my family.

I inherit my Palestinian background from my mother’s side of the family; her parents emigrated to America from the Middle East. My grandma was born in Israel and later moved to Ramallah in the West Bank and eventually to Jordan.

After arriving in America in her 20s, my grandma worked hard to become a U.S. citizen. She learned the English language while raising my mother and uncle. She opened a restaurant with my grandpa, lovingly named the Chicken Pantry, in Hamtramck, Michigan. When that business closed, my grandma worked as a real estate agent before eventually retiring in the land of prosperity.

America brought my family prosperity. My grandparents taught my mother to “kiss the ground you walk on” because they knew what a blessing America is.

They passed this lesson on to me.

Although many seem to think that my Palestinian heritage should cause me to align with protests that supposedly are “pro-Palestinian,” it’s precisely because of my heritage that I cannot do that.

Israel went to war with Hamas in the Gaza Strip only after Hamas terrorists slaughtered 1,200 and kidnapped about 250 in a rampage of rape, torture, and murder Oct. 7 in southern Israel.

About 10 months later, as pro-Hamas protesters march in this country to “free Palestine,” they call for the death of America. As they burn the American flag, they burn all that my family has worked to achieve.

As the protesters pledge their allegiance to Hamas, they encourage a group that my grandmother wouldn’t hesitate to call a terrorist organization that operates with a strategy of human sacrifice.

Think about it. Why are there no Hamas military bases in the Gaza Strip adjoining Israel? Because the terrorists hide behind their own people.

They dress like noncombatants in Gaza. They establish bunkers in hospitals. They commandeer ambulances for transportation.

These actions are all in direct violation of Article 18 of the Geneva Conventions, the international pacts that set minimum standards during armed conflict for the treatment of civilians, soldiers, and prisoners of war.

One example is Hamas’ use of Gaza’s most important hospital, Al-Shifa. According to the Foundation for Defense of Democracies, Hamas uses a bunker under the hospital as a base for military operations. This not only makes the hospital a target, but takes medical resources needed for the sick.

In contrast, the Israel Defense Forces have given civilians in Gaza opportunities to evacuate and warned of impending attacks. No other nation goes this far to protect enemy civilians.

How can I support pro-Hamas demonstrators who wish to end the nation that brought my family so much? How can I back a terrorist group that uses its own people as human shields? How can I hate Israel, when the IDF has worked to keep Palestinian civilians out of harm’s way?

I believe it’s important to point out that, contrary to popular belief, not all Arabs think the same. Some of us do see this conflict differently. And our thoughts and beliefs should not be snuffed out because they go against the “narrative.”

To some, perhaps our stance makes us walking oxymorons. But we are proud ones, nonetheless.

[if-whats-new]

What's New In IF? Issue 31 (2024)

By Aj, Dion, Briar, Jen and Peter

Now Available!

Itch.io - Keep Reading below

If you read the zine, consider liking the post: it helps us see how many people see it! And sharing is caring! <3

~ EDITORIAL ~

Apologies for the delayed Issue!

As you might know, we unfortunately had to delay this Issue due to some personal matters. But as promised, it’s finally here! We wouldn’t want you to miss out on any news.

As this Issue says on the front page, it contains news from November 23rd to November 29th.

But! The Events should be updated to match their status on December 4th, as they are more time-sensitive.

Issue 32 should be released on time. That means two Issues this week!

We want some feedback!

As we’re starting to get a hand of things, we would love some feedback from you guys! What you enjoy, want more or less off, how we could improve... Anything goes! We even have a nifty form.

We hope you enjoy this new issue!

AJ, DION, BRIAR, JEN AND PETER

~ BE A PART OF THE ZINE ~

THIS ZINE ONLY HAPPENS WITH YOU!

Want to write 1-2 pages about a neat topic, or deep-dive into a game and review it in details? Share personal experiences or get all academic?

WRITE FOR THE COLUMN!

Prefer to be more low-key but still have something to share? Send us a Zine Letter or share a game title for Highlight on…!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Came across something interesting? Know a release or an update announced? Saw an event happening? Whether it's a game, an article, a podcast… Add any IF-related content to our mini-database!

EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS!

Contact us through Tumblr asks, Forum DMs, or even by email! And thank you for your help!!

~ EVENT SPOTLIGHT : Videotome Jam - "Waiting" ~

November 16th to December 1st 2024

Videotome Jam is a two-week-long game jam for games made in any of the Videotome engines with the optional theme of "Waiting".

What is Videotome?

Videotome is a series of small homebrew IF/VN engines made by Freya Campbell (communistsister), an indie game developer focusing on narrative games that are usually:

science fiction, horror, &/or romance

close to 100% LGBTQ characters

free/PWYW with low tech requirements

liable to make players keysmash due to feelings

Videotome was first released in April 2022 as a part of a game entry for the Domino Club collective. The initial idea for the engine was to make writing text-heavy games as hassle-free as possible, focusing not that much on the visual presentation format, but more on the writer's experience. It would allow writers to write in a notepad and then it would somehow grab the .txt file and parse the lines into an array, spitting them out one line at a time as a kinetic novel.

At the moment there are four engines available:

Videotome, for linear, no frills text / images / music;

Videotome ADV, adding a more conventional layout with ignorable choices and branching;

Super Videotome, for more fully featured and freeform image/canvas use;

Videotome Heartbreak, adding a stat raising dating sim & storylets structure to the above.

If you're more interested in the process of making these engines, check out the devs blog post - Words, Friction, Syntax: Stuff I thought about when making Videotome. (The post also includes a very interesting case study concerning other game engines Freya has experience with.)

If you want to check out some examples of projects made with Videotome, take a look at this collection. It includes games made by both Freya and other devs.

~ ENDED ~

The Educational Jam has ended. Check out the thirteen entries and learn something new!

The voting for ECTOCOMP 2024 is officially over! Check out the results!

You can now check out all 16 entries to the Videotome Jam!

Disabled Rep VN Jam has a very simple premise but a very important message. Check out the submissions!

~ ONGOING (VOTING) ~

A Very Hallmark Game Jam has entered the voting phase. You can now vote for your favourite out of the five entries.

~ ONGOING (SUBMITTING) ~

Media depicting healthy examples of polyamory isn’t that common. The PolyJamorous 2024 is trying to break the status-quo!

This year’s Yuri Game Jam is in full progress. The devs have until December 2nd to submit their projects.

Once upon a time, a game jam was held to create stories around the theme of fairy tales… and that game jam is the Once Upon A Time VN Jam. It’s running from October 1st to January 31st.

Concours de Fiction Interactive Francophone 2025 is for all French-speaking enthusiasts. Submissions are accepted March 3rd 2025.

Are you perhaps a fan of more somber, melancholic themes? Then check out the Dying Year - Visual Novel Jam! You have until the end of the year to participate.

The Black Visual Novel Jam is all about working with creative professional developers who work in visual novels to bring more Black stories to life. The goal is to create a space where Black creators can show their unique storytelling through visual novels.

IF Short Games Showcase 2024 is a great way to shine some new light on your projects made in the past year (Jan 1, 2024 to Dec 31, 2024), regardless of whether or not they are previously released! You have until January 15th 2025 to join.

Winter Visual Novel Jam 2024 is here! You have until January 1st 2025 to submit your projects.

Are you familiar with Decker? Then why not take a part in the Deck-Month 2?

Another bitsy jam is here. This time with the theme "better late than never".

~ OTHER ~

PIZZAPRANKS is accepting submissions for their Indiepocalypse Issue #61. If you’re a dev and would like to try out your luck, definitely check it out! Any game is welcomed, not only IF.

~ NEW RELEASE ~

You stand at the edge of a vast and foreboding cave system, its mouth yawning like the jaws of some ancient beast. This is no ordinary cave—it is the entrance to the Caverns of the Forgotten, a labyrinth of twisting tunnels, hidden chambers, and unfathomable mysteries that have claimed countless explorers before you.

Generations ago, invaders brought magic to the Kingdom of Jubai, setting battlemages at the top of the noble power structure and leaving everyone else oppressed. Now, a secret organization of mage hunters has risen up, phoenixlike, to stand against the mages' power and overthrow their rule. Can your secret order of mage hunters save the kingdom, or will internal strife tear you apart in Magehunter: Phoenix Flame (CScript)?

Today is your first day of work here at Toy Maker’s TOY BOX (Ren’Py). Pull apart stitches or rip off an arm or two; we support whatever you must do to ensure that you only save toys of the highest quality. Should you ever feel unsure, there’s no need to panic! Simply toss the trash where it belongs: the incinerator. After all, it’s of the utmost importance that inspectors upkeep the Maker’s image.

You're struggling for friends in a new town and decide to check out a cute diner! — 'That New Diner', huh? Odd name for a restaurant, but I see advertisements for it everywhere. Might as well check it out. Who knows, maybe I'll meet somebody?

What does the glass sound like? Quite tinkly. It crumbled into sand under the feet of all those worried people circling around. As for you, there was darkness in your eyes for a long time. And the glass has melted into silence long since. But what is this place? And who is this stranger standing in front of you? And most importantly, where — or who — did the bullet hit? — Monarch (Ren’Py) is a short visual novel game that was made during Ukrainian Micro Visual Novel Jam in 10 days.

Halloween is a big deal in Port Gillain, steeped as the town is in old folklore and ghost stories. You, the local psychic, regularly attend the festivities. This year, you can bring a friend. The Second Sight: All Hallow's Eve (Twine) is a companion story to The Second Sight: Dead Reckoning.

Your Aunt’s House (Adventuron) is a short story about mourning. @kessielrg

The story centers around Larry, a cab driver eking out a meagre existence in a dystopian near-future, until he unwittingly finds himself centre-stage in the midst of a technological revolution. — For the first time this multi-media project can be experienced in the form of an interactive novel. Larry Folger Volume I contains all the chapters of the ongoing narrative complete with music from the series.

Your feather, my wing is a game about getting close to the object of an experiment that your 'super-secret lab' leads! It's all about fun, fluff and cuddles. Nothing serious and if anyone from the "normal world" came to this organization, they'd be disappointed by the lack of pathos, mystery and seriousness. But do you care?

Nestled at the edge of an ancient forest, Ravenwood Hill looms like a shadowed sentinel against the pale moonlight. This is no ordinary place; whispers of its dark history echo through the trees, carried by the wailing wind. The townsfolk speak of disappearances, of mysterious lights flickering in the mansion atop the hill, and of secrets buried deep beneath its crumbling foundations. In Ravenwood Hill, you are the only one brave—or foolish—enough to uncover the truth.

As always, don't forget to check out the submitted entries to the events mentioned in the previous pages. They deserve some love too!

~ NEW RELEASE (WIP) ~

Iberian Tales (Twine) - Life was once tranquil on the isolated coast of your city, surrounded by a loving family and promising prospects for success in your societal position. However, tranquility shattered as flames engulf your city, escape becomes the only viable option, if luck favors you enough to evade the soldiers blocking your path that is. @iberiantalesif-game

The Thorned Garden (CScript) is a Harem Intrigue game where you can die at any turn. Build up skills and connections to survive and climb the rankings. @opossumfern

Locked in a luxurious but ominous hotel, you are forced to face trials alongside five other people. Who abducted you and for what reason? What does the future hold with different organizations fighting for power over the world? And just how much is at stake when you play a twisted game without rules? Whether you want it or not, welcome to the Threshold (Twine). @thethreshold-if

5 days (Ren’Py) - Every step forward feels like another memory slipping through your fingers and yet, the world moves on — forcing you to find a way to follow, even when it feels impossible to let go.

~ UPDATES ~

As Gods Fall (CScript) released Chapters 4 and 5. @asgodsfall-if

Knight of Greenhaven (CScript) released Chapter 2.

Lost in your eyes (CScript) released part five of Chapter 3 on Patreon. @kathrinesadventures

Saturnine (CScript) added new content to their demo. @satur9-if

The Thousand Of Us (CScript) added new content to their public demo. @ivanwm-05

Weeping Gods (CScript) added new content to their demo. @jcollinswrites

The Summoner (CScript) released a part of Chapter 4.

Ashenmaw - Dragons of Marrowoods (CScript) added a part of Chapter 1 to their demo. @ashenmaw-if

Our Life: Now and Forever (Ren’Py) added Step 2 introduction scenes to their public demo. @gb-patch

Wasteland Pony Express added new content to their demo. @katieaki

The In-Between (CScript) released Chapter 11. @dalekowrites

Crown of Exile (Twine) released Chapter 10 on Patreon. @ramonag-if

~ OTHER ~

350p Adventure has been ported from Infor 6 to PunyInform. You can either download it or play it online in your browser. — (Some interesting trivia: The game is sometimes called Advent, because the system it was created on in the 70s would not allow filenames to be more than six characters long. This game is sometimes considered as the very first text adventure.)

~

As always, we apologize in advance for missing any update or release from the past week. We are only volunteers using their limited free time to find as much as we can - but sometimes things pass through the cracks.

If you think something should have been included in this week's zine but did not appear, please shoot us a message! We'll do our best to add it next week! And if you know oncoming news, add it here!

~ MAYBE YOU NEXT? ~

We did not get a submission this week. But if you have an idea for a short essay, or would like a special space to share your thoughts about IF and the community...

Shoot us an email!

~ HIGHLIGHT ON ~

A couple of games that we thought were cool.

Your favourite game here?

Do you have a favourite game that deserves some highlighting?

An old or recent game that wowed you so much you spam it to everyone?

Tell us about it! And it might appear here!

WE LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU ALL! WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD, OR EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN...

Have something to say? Send us a message titled: Zine Letter!

As we end this issue, we would like to thank:

our awesome mysterious anon!

all you readers who liked, shared, and commented on the last issue! What might be tiny actions are huge support and motivators to us! Thank you for cheering us on this journey!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And see you again on Saturday!

AJ, DION, BRIAR, JEN AND PETER

WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2024-ISSUE 31

[cece693]

Humanity (Rosalie Hale x M! Vamp Reader)

Just got my computer fixed. Something I wrote some time ago, and may be considered unfinished

Summary: What if Rosalie had been accompanied when Royce attacked her? What if her lover got turned into a vampire, and believed it was for the best to break up with Rosalie due to his new status?

tags: blood, death, vampire transformation, the reader doesn't believe Rosalie would continue to love him as a vampire, open-ended

"Go see her." Carlisle advised again, as if you would magically change your mind this time. You turned away, staring out the window at the endless stretch of forest. You didn’t trust yourself, not around her. Every time you closed your eyes, you were back on that cold street, Rosalie’s hand in yours as Royce stumbled toward you both.

He was drunk, furious, and desperate, demanding Rosalie to return to him. It wasn't out of love, no, it was to soothe his ego; no woman had broken up with him, rejected his advances, and gone for someone he perceived less of his status. When Rosalie denied him once more, and Royce stepped forward, you pushed him away, and in the drunken man's rage, had pulled a knife. A quick flash of steel, a sharp sting, and your own blood pooling in your hands.

Carlisle had found you barely clinging to life, and his decision had been swift. The transformation was agony, but nothing compared to the heartbreak of waking up to a world where you couldn’t offer Rosalie the life she deserved.

You’d decided then to let her go.

She deserved more than what you could give her now—a wedding, a family, the chance to grow old surrounded by grandchildren, and eventually, the peace of a natural death. If it were up to you, the moment you awakened, you would've moved to another city—continent even—but Carlisle prevented it. Your red irises would raise questions, but you knew he was also bidding time in case you changed your mind.

“What’s the point, Carlisle?” you finally asked, your voice low and tired. “Seeing me won’t change what’s been done. And I'm not naive as to believe she'll accept...this."

“She’s lost without you.” Carlisle said softly, but you could hear the urgency beneath his calm demeanor. “You both are.” It was true; from what he had told you, Rosalie had been devastated since the news of your "death" reached her. She had become a shadow of herself, locking herself in her room for days, her sobs echoing through the halls of her family’s home. Even her parents' desperate attempts to match her with another suitor fell flat. She wanted no one else—only you.

And as broken as she was, you were worse. A vampire couldn’t die by conventional means, but that hadn’t stopped you from trying. You had thrown yourself from great heights, hoping that maybe, somehow, the impact would do what nothing else could. You had waded out into the deepest waters, letting yourself sink, waiting for the ocean to claim you. And when those failed, you’d simply stopped feeding, your body wracked with a pain that almost matched the one in your chest.

"She's better off without me."

A heavy silence fell between you both. Carlisle’s patience seemed endless, but even you could tell it was wearing thin. He sighed deeply, a weary sound that spoke of centuries of burdens. “Maybe it’s not your choice to make.”

You turned to him, brow furrowed. “What do you mean?” But before he could answer, you heard it—a heartbeat. You stiffened, your senses snapping to attention.

“Carlisle, what did you do?” Then came the sound of her footsteps—soft but purposeful, echoing through the halls. Each step sent a jolt of panic through you, your instincts screaming at you to run, to put distance between yourself and what was coming.

“She deserves to make her own decisions.” Carlisle said quietly, moving past you to open the door.

You didn’t turn around. You couldn’t. Even without looking, her scent flooded your senses, more vivid than you remembered—fresh rain, soft roses, and something uniquely hers, something you could never forget. Your throat burned as venom pooled in your mouth, a stark reminder of the monster you’d become.

This was why you stayed away—why you refused to see her. You couldn’t trust yourself, couldn’t guarantee you wouldn’t hurt her. She deserved better than this dangerous temptation, better than the hollow existence you could offer. Carlisle excused himself, providing you both with some semblance of privacy, but you knew he would be listening. He had faith in your blood control, but accidents always occur.

“Why won’t you look at me?”

Her question hung in the air, heavy with the weight of her pain. You could hear the strain in her voice, the tears she was trying so hard to hold back.

“I’m not who you remember.” If you faced her now, she’d see everything—the darkness, the hunger, the inhuman red of your eyes.“I’m not the person you loved.”

“Then let me see who you are now.” she countered, her voice stronger this time, laced with determination. “Don’t I deserve that much?”

A surge of emotion broke through your defenses, and despite everything, you found yourself turning to face her. The moment your eyes met, the world seemed to stop. Rosalie stood there, her golden hair cascading over her shoulders, her eyes wide and filled with an overwhelming mix of emotions—relief, pain, anger, and something else, love.

Rosalie's breath hitched as she took in your appearance: your crimson eyes, the paleness of your skin, but you were still you. The man she'd fallen in love with.

"I’ve been in hell since you left." she said, taking a step forward. "I mourned you, cursed the world for taking you away from me. But now you're alive, and you expect me to just walk away? To forget?"

"Yes, I'm dangerous now. One wrong move—a moment of weakness—and I'll hurt you."

"You won't." Rosalie promised, taking a determined step closer. Her voice was steady, filled with a confidence that you could only wish you shared. But the reality of your situation loomed large, the danger too real to ignore. You couldn’t afford to let her get any closer—not when every instinct in your body screamed to protect her from yourself.

In a flash, you moved to the other side of the room, putting as much distance between you as possible. You watched her closely, the slight widening of her eyes betraying the fear she tried so hard to hide. It cut deep, but it was necessary. She needed to understand.

"I can’t give you the life you want—children, growing old, a normal marriage, grandchildren. Nothing." You hissed, your voice trembling with a mix of frustration and anguish. "This isn’t a life I’m going to subject you to. Not if I have a say in it."

Rosalie’s face hardened, the pain of your words clashing with her stubborn determination. “You don’t get to decide what I can or can’t have.” she snapped, her voice rising with defiance. “You don’t get to take away my choices. I want you! Why is that so hard for you to comprehend?”

"Because I don't want it." you admitted, your voice raw with vulnerability. "I’m scared that you��ll come to realize that this—” you gestured vaguely to yourself, to the shadows that clung to you, “—is not what you think it is. That you’ll see the truth of what I’ve become and hate me for it. I can’t bear the thought of you hating me, Rosalie. I can’t bear losing you like that.”

Her eyes softened, the intensity of her defiance shifting to something gentler, more understanding. “You think I haven’t already seen you, all of you?” she asked quietly, taking a step closer. “I know what you’ve become, and I still want to be with you. I’m not afraid of the darkness that’s part of you. I’m afraid of losing you because you’re too afraid to let me in.”

You were silent, struggling to find the right words to respond, the weight of your fears pressing heavily on your chest. The idea of Rosalie coming to hate you was a nightmare you couldn’t fully escape, a specter haunting every corner of your mind. And yet, here she was, standing before you with nothing but love and determination in her eyes.

“You’re not a monster.” she said firmly. “You’re someone I love deeply, someone who’s hurting and needs me just as much as I need you.”

You remained planted on the other side of the room. Your mind was fighting with your heart. You wanted Rosalie, but the risk was too high...she was still a human. Weak. A temptation to the beast now inhabiting you. Could you accept her love when it might soon turn the tide and leave you grieving?

[holylulusworld]

Romanian Kiss

Summary: Your fiancè leaves you for someone else. You try to get him back and meet a grumpy taxi driver.

Pairing: Taxi Driver!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: cheating (not Bucky), angst, heartbreak, meet cute, fluff, bad Romanian

A/N: This story was inspired by the movie "French Kiss" but takes place in Romania (Bucharest).

A/N2: I'm deep down the Bucky rabbit hole again so bear with me...

Words: 1,4k

He left you. He went to Romania for an important convention.

Suddenly he didn’t call you back.

But he left a message, telling you he found the love of his life.

Love of his life? Not a week ago, he promised you forever, and suddenly, another woman took your place. One he met two days ago.

You had no choice but to catch the next plane and hit Romania to find John and win him over again. He can’t just throw three and a half years of a relationship out of the window because he met some girl half his age.

So, this is how you ended up in the cab of the grumpiest guy you ever met. He pretended to not understand your language and grumbled under his breath the whole way to the next hotel.

“Sir,” you sighed as he didn’t react. “Can you tell me where the convention is? My fiancé is there,” you tried again. “I know you understand me. Please, I need to find him. He left and met that girl. I—he can’t just throw our life together away.”

“Miss,” he suddenly said, “stop talking so much. Maybe that’s why he left you. I’ll drive you to the hotel, but I’m not a city guide.”

“Whoa, I thought European taxi drivers were nicer than the ones in New York City,” you huffed and looked out of the window. 

“Maybe you should head back then and leave Romania alone,” he snapped at you and slammed his hands onto the steering wheel.

You bit the inside of your cheek. His words haunted you like an unwanted truth. Hot tears wanted to spring free. John leaving you. The stranger taunting you. Your hopeless situation. Torn between wanting John back and running away.

All damns broke when he grunted at you and accused you of being an annoying woman. You sniffled and the tears finally fell. 

You couldn’t stop. He had to stop the car and talk to you. He opened the door and sat next to you in the backseat. “If you stop crying, I’ll drive you anywhere you want to.”

He told you his name, an odd one. Bucky. At first, you believed he lied and tried to make fun of you; but it was his real name. He talked and talked to make you calm down. While you tried to stop the tears from falling, he murmured words you didn’t understand. 

He called you păpuşă and prinţesă. His words calmed you, and you allowed Bucky to hold your hand while you told this stranger about your past, and the love you just lost.

You believed him when he told you that he’d help you find John. He had no reason to help you, but he did.

For the next few days, Bucky drove you around town. He showed Bucharest, the most important places, and helped you stalk your fiancé and his new girl.

He even let you cry in his chest when you watched John meet the girl’s parents after knowing her for a few days. And the worst was, she wore a diamond ring, making your chest tighten.

“The convention is held in this building,” he said and pointed at the luxurious building. “Do you want to go inside and find out if your fiancé is in there?”

“I don’t know,” you said and meant it. If you met your fiancé right at that moment, you didn’t know what to say. “What if she’s prettier than me, or smarter…or younger.”

“Doll,” he placed his hand on your shoulder, “if you don’t talk to him, you’ll never know. If you want me to, I’ll drive you back to your hotel and you can fly back home and forget about him.”

“No, you’re right. I should talk to him but,” you sighed and looked down at your body. “Jeans and t-shirts won’t make him see me in a different light, don’t you think?”

“If you want me to,” he cupped your face and looked you deep in the eyes, “I’ll turn you into a maneater stealing his heart and mind.”

“You look stunning,” he said, watching you walk out of the bathroom of your suite. “I mean…wow.” Bucky eyed you up and down. 

“I,” you shook your head. The dress felt like a second skin, but you felt like it was suffocating you. The heels were too high and the make-up too much for your liking. 

In other words – this wasn’t you. But if wearing a short and figure-hugging dress, too much make-up, and heels makes John fall for you again, so be it.

“Go ahead, doll,” Bucky said and gently nudged you toward the entrance of the fancy restaurant. All you had to do was walk inside, pass John’s table by, and sit at the table Bucky reserved for you. He’d take care of the new girl by your fiancé’s side and distract her long enough for John to fall for you again. “He will love you.”

You took a deep breath and got the show on the road. While walking inside the restaurant, you held your head high and didn’t look at anyone. Including John.

For a second, you heard him gasp when you walked past his table, but you resisted the urge to turn your head to look his way.

You used the few words you learned in Romanian from Bucky to order water and food. The whole time you didn’t look at John’s table, always busy talking to the waiter, checking your phone, or reading the tourist guide Bucky bought for you.

“Y/N?” You only looked up when John was standing right in front of your table. He looked surprised and a little scared. “What are you doing here?”

“John?” You acted surprised too. “What are you doing here?”

“I told you about the convention, didn’t I?” He cocked his head to look you up and down. His eyes trained on your chest he murmured your name when you acted like you forgot about him, the convention, and the fact that he left you for some other girl. 

“Oh, that was in Romania. I can’t remember, sorry. With all the things going on in my life, the cancellation of our wedding and buying a new apartment I forgot about you.”

He sat down and puffed his chest. John tried, just like he did before he asked you out on a date for the first time, to impress you. You smiled and let his compliments and charm wash over you.

John and you dined together, and it almost felt like back then. And when he asked you to join him in his hotel room, you didn’t hesitate to follow him.

A few days ago, you would’ve happily given in to his advances. A few hours ago, you dreamed of being with him again. 

But at that moment, all you could think about was the guy you ran into while chasing your unfaithful fiancé.

His lips didn’t feel perfect against yours any longer, and the weight on top of yours didn’t make you feel how you should. 

“No, stop,“ you pushed him off you. “This isn’t right.”

“Baby, it’s right. I was a fool,” you whimpered at his words.

“I came here to hunt you down and win you over again but..” You got off the bed and grabbed your dress. “Not a few hours ago you wanted to marry that woman. Tonight, you believe I’m some sexy wonder woman but in the morning, I’m still the same woman I used to be.”

He tried to stop you, but you shook your head. “Please give me another chance. I was blinded by lust and—” He trailed off. “Maybe I was scared of the future and getting married.”

“You weren’t scared of marrying that woman you barely knew,” you cocked your head and gave him a sad smile. “Just tell me the truth. You’re not made for normalcy and me.” You bitterly admitted. “I’m not exciting and wild. Only the reliable and boring woman you easily forgot about the moment you met someone else.”

“You did what?” Bucky threw his hands up as you ran to him after you turned John down. “Why? I mean…all the effort and you let him off the hook?”

“It didn’t feel right,” you murmured and dropped your gaze.

“Why?”

“Why what?” You asked.

“Why did you turn him down,” he stepped closer to gently cup your face. “Tell me why, prinţesă.”

“I can’t…”

“Why?” He softly asked. “Doll?”

“I’m scared.”

“Tell me,” Bucky leaned closer to whisper against your lips. “Please.”

“Te iubesc,“ you whispered.

“I love you too,” he pressed his lips to yours and wrapped his arms around you. Right at that moment, you forgot about John and your past together. All that counted was Bucky holding you in his arms.

Tags in reblog.

[eddis-not-eeddis]

I haven't really talked about this a lot on here, though most of my long time mutuals have probably noticed that I've started studying Japanese.

My reason for learning Japanese is that I'm planning to spend next summer in Japan, and possibly even live there long term if things play out right.

Japan is a country with a little over 122 million people. Of those, less than 2% are Christian. In fact, according to the missionaries in the prayer group I belong to, a significant portion of the Christians in Japan are foreigners.

When I first learned of this in February this year, it bowled me over, and I wanted to somehow become involved in Japanese missions, even though at that time I had no plans to become a "missionary."

But as I continued to get involved (joining prayer groups, donating to various missions and missionaries, attending conventions, and making contacts who are active in the mission work in Japan), the more I realized I can't just sit back and do things from the comfort of my own home. Japan is a developed nation, but one missionary working there told me that many Japanese people won't meet a Christian at any point in their life, and if they do, the Christians they meet will likely not share their faith.

To me that's heartbreaking.

So my plan is to go to Japan. I don't know if going as a traditional missionary is something I can do, or even want to do. I have a lot of missionaries in my family, and I've seen a lot of the ways the modern mission model has failed. That said, I'm not opposed to it, if I can find a mission board that will accept me.

I have a lot to do, and a lot of things will have to fall into place before I can make it to Japan, and it will be a very labor intensive and expensive process. I know if this is the work the Lord requires of me, that a way will be provided, but I am still a little daunted.

If I could get prayers towards this area specifically, I would very much appreciate it.

I need the money to get there, I need to be able to find work--either as a missionary, or I must find a job that will let me work overseas--I need to figure out what I'm going to do with my education (do I continue in my current major which doesn't really transfer very well to the Japanese job market), I need to make more connections, I need to do SOOOOOOOOOOO much paperwork, and I need to become fluent in the language.

If you would pray for these things, and that the right doors will be opened for me, and for wisdom throughout this whole process, I would be immensely grateful.

This was never something I had planned on. I'm pretty lost. But God knows the way, and I trust that if he wants me to do this, he will enable me.

[kalki-tarot]

10 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE ! 💌

Pick a pile, left to right ♡

Disclaimer — The images I used to select a pile were sourced from Pinterest, I hope the reading will resonate with you. I'm not responsible for any decisions you make in your life from my readings. I'm just a beginner and these readings are just for fun. Take what resonates and leave the rest.

Tap Masterlist for more !

Pile 1

They like to take the lead, might be dominating.

Sets strict boundaries for people.

They're protective, stable and authoritative.

They move on easily.

They might've had a rough and financially poor background or past.

They are a fair person, they don't like injustice for other people.

They like drinking and may have a whole collection of different kind of drinks.

They like to party and socialize a lot.

They constantly move forward in their life, from one place to another. They're very determined and goal oriented.

They might've had a very bad heartbreak in the past in love which made them very emotionally hurt. They are moving forward from this though.

Pile 2

This person dreams of a lot of nightmares.

Very hardworking person, takes up many responsibilities.

They've worked very hard for becoming what they are right now. They still continue to work hard.

This person works in a team, they're most probably leading this team.

They are currently working hard to learn or master a new skill.

This person is detached from the world.

He's thinking and waiting for an offer right now, romantically or career wise.

Very rich financially. On a high position at work.

This person is afraid of failing.

This person has the ability to grow and develop.

Pile 3

Very mischievous and funny.

Very easy going, doesn't stress much about things in life.

Invests a lot for future gains, emotionally or financially.

They are a healer, they help people move forward in their life.

Very mysterious, may have some hidden talents or knowledge most people don't.

This person is a strategic thinker.

Very masculine, dominating and leading energy.

Wants to travel the whole world.

Likes work and personal life balance.

Ambitious.

Pile 4

Works very hard and takes up a lot of responsibility.

Currently moving on from a tough situation in life.

Very emotional and offering in love.

Eyes hold a lot of depth. Very deep and pure soul.

This person's intentions are very pure, they don't wish bad for anyone.

Very practical approach towards life.

This person is surely gonna be wealthy and rich in the future.

This person questions things like god and religion.

This person is going through a divine and spiritual awakening.

Traditional and conventional.

Pile 5

This person is very fast.

This person quickly jumps into romantic relationships.

Very romantic and passionate.

Hopeless romantic.

This might be contradicting but this person now waits and thinks before jumping into romantic relationships.

It's because he's had bad experiences due to being too quick and rushing.

This person is scared to fall in love again due to past heartbreak.

This person just waits now before making any decisions.

Very Masculine

Might be older than you.

Pile 6

Rich background

Fair and logical.

Indecisive sometimes.

Very intuitive and spiritual.

Likes balance in life.

Says the truth no matter what

Old soul, wise

Very prosperous and wealthy

Moving on from something chaotic.

Impulsive sometimes.

[cliozaur]

Many people have already written about Les Misérables at Théâtre du Châtelet, so I’ll just add a few points of my own.

The best part was that this production was different from the West End version: the costumes, sets, and acting choices felt very refreshing.

The actors’ voices were fantastic. Some leaned a bit too operatic, but it worked well in the context. And finally! Finally, I’ve heard a good Cosette! Maybe I’ve just been unlucky in the past, but every Cosette I’d heard before was just squeaking. Here, Julitte Artigala’s singing was genuinely enjoyable. Claire Perot’s Fantine was good and extremely expressive – looking at her gestures I had a picture of Edith Piaf in my head.

The Thénardiers were surprisingly charismatic. Madame Thénardier came across as almost a tragic figure—her frustration with and anger at her husband were much more palpable than in the English version. I could truly feel her pain. Kids in the theatre (there were so many of them, despite some new quite explicit scenes) were laughing at most of Mme Thenardier’s jokes. Meanwhile, Monsieur Thénardier reminded me of an eccentric Jack Sparrow. It was also clever how they acknowledged having a female conductor: during the wedding feast, when Thénardier called for the “maestro,” she corrected him with “maestra.” Then the orchestra was revealed behind the main stage—it was a very cool moment.

At the factory, they did not show the working process; instead, the conflict took place during a lunch break, with everyone eating or resting—an interesting production choice.

Valjean was not dying alone—even before Cosette and Marius arrived—he was at the convent, being cared for by nuns. It’s much better and less heartbreaking than dying of grief and starvation in an empty dwelling. (I think I read a fanfiction based on this twist.)

There were also some nice touches in the French lyrics. For example, Cosette mentioned the doll from the shop window (Catherina) she dreamed about. Actually, “Castle on a Cloud” is called “La poupée dans la vitrine” (“The doll in the shop window”). For Fantine, it was wolves that came at night instead of tigers (we know that both animals are associated with Javert). Speaking of Javert, in his soliloquy, he mentioned regretting not dying like a soldier, which I found to be a nice touch.

My love goes to the ensemble, as always! You could feel how much they enjoyed performing.

There were so many small gestures—touches, hugs, and all kinds of body contact—that are usually absent from the West End production. People have already pointed out that Javert appears in the “Heaven” finale, shaking Valjean’s hand. It’s a lovely touch, though completely illogical. And during the final bow, Javert kissed Cosette’s hand.

However, there were a few elements that felt dangerous. They used a lot of open fire, and not always for justified reasons. Recently, I’ve heard Ian McKellen talking about how nineteenth century theatres often burned down, and this abundance of fire made me nervous. Another concern was Javert being perched on an extremely high platform during his soliloquy. I hope there was some kind of safety line in place.

What irritated me: Javert carrying a rifle during “The Confrontation”(and he never had a cudgel). Why give him a rifle if he doesn’t use it? (Insert a joke here about Les Misérables being much shorter if Javert had just used the rifle in the hospital scene.) And then… the bicycle. It wasn’t funny, and it wasn’t even historically accurate to the time period in that form!

The audience was incredibly enthusiastic, cheering so much that the cast came back for four curtain calls! And they seemed happy to oblige.

[rachamemories]

So I'm reading Inside the Gas Chambers by Shlomo Venezia, and I'm around 40 pages in. It's really interesting to read about the Italian government protecting, feeding and helping the italian-citizenship Jews in Salonika in the pre-deportation period, the help they were entitled to as Italian citizens, what daily life was like even before, the daily struggle to have enough to eat in general. That there were Italian schools within Salonika, too! It's nice to know the surname conventions of Jews expelled from Spain to Italy, and how before this they didn't really have surnames so often took on the names of the city their family moved to as their surname.

There was a small section describing how he would collect traditional clothing of others to go and sell for them so they could all eat, and the best bet was always to sell it to brothels- I never would have thought of where it all went, and it's interesting to know now.

He also included a memory of fashioning himself a scooter out of discarded wood and wheels, figuring out how to make the handles turn.. taking it out to the nearest road to try it, only to have someone take it to hit their donkey so it would pull a cart out of the mud- breaking it immediately, and how he cried and cried.

I haven't gotten to the darkest parts of the book yet.. but reading his daily life, struggles with his family, the personality of his mother and relationships with Greek and Italian soldiers / police- the way he describes everything he feels like a friend, and I can picture everything.

From the point I'm at now, I know that quality will become heartbreaking very soon.

[daylightaftertherain]

felice asking how to get over a best friend?? the exploration of friendships falling apart like a breakup???? and how sara was the closest felice has actually gotten to experiencing conventional "heartbreak"??????????????