#it's not a particular challenging dungeon or a really long one but it just fucking rules

[animentality]

Tavtash leaves such a sour taste in my mouth. Like they could have had durgetash but they were too set on playing a manic pixie dream girl who is super sweet and lovely except that oh yeah she's fucking a mass murderer and a slaver

You know what's really funny to me?

I wrote a 5000 word rant about disliking Tavtash, and I think Tavs in general ruined the story of Baldur's Gate, but then I deleted it. Because people here just want me to fuel their Durgetash/Gortash thirst by making the funnies and the angsties.

They don't care to read things that challenge their viewpoints, offer a strong negative opinion, or encourage them to think critically.

And I know people wouldn't agree with it. Ultimately, that's why I delete a lot of rants. I come here so people can stroke my ego. I don't generally come here to start fights, because that simply bores me.

So it's just comedic to me that I get this anon, right as I deleted that post.

Because I'm glad someone understands.

Like oh, I'm sorry, you're too "nice" to pick the Dark Urge?

But you have no problem blowing a slaver?

You're like the stereotypical 90s love interests who are "nice girls" but also inexplicably dating a dude who knocks a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs. How the fuck can you be "nice" and compassionate, while the dude you're fucking is a sociopathic felon?

Durgetash works for TWO reasons.

Reason 1: They are both fucking awful, and we all know it. Them torturing and ruining each other is a tragic romance with broken teeth, and we enjoy the low moan of a dying animal, tearing itself apart in distress. They start evil, they end evil. Evil horny bastard sex. Tavtash could never be so demented.

Don't jump into bed with Enver Gortash if you intend to keep your hands clean either.

Reason 2: The Dark Urge was given a second chance, even though they didn't deserve it, and took it. They were given the opportunity to fix their mistakes in game. Gortash doesn't get that. The romance is in the tragedy of, he could never be saved. And you cannot save him, even as you save the rest of the world. You grow, and he stays behind.

The romance is in the longing and the yearning for something that is no longer there. The camaraderie of two lonely people...who were separated, and never ever came back together again. It's also about how you were born evil, but chose redemption, while he was born innocent, but chose damnation. Durgetash operates well on this level because it's always equality of opposites. It is character development, mirrored. And it's fascinating to consider.

And what does Tavtash have going on?

It's someone Gortash just met who has something he wants, who may or may not want to kill him but he's desperate enough to throw his eggs in that particular basket. And on Tav's side, it's weird because it's like omg.

I just met him, and he ruined my life, he put a fucking tadpole in my head, and I'm close to becoming a mindless monster without any free will, something he DIRECTLY did to me and my loved ones -

But I still think he's hot.

Hm. ok. that might be amusing if there wasn't a better precursor for a relationship sitting right there beneath you. rotting in Orin's dungeon.

I won't deny, Durgetash might be absolutely nuts - but it will never be as nuts as Tavtash.

But anyway. You didn't hear that from me.

If anyone asks, I looooove Tavtash. I loooooove Tavs. Especially YOUR Tav.

[average-transdalorian]

Head in hands. I really can’t consume media without thinking “how can I add Mandalorians to this,” can I

Here’s how Mandalorians could be in Dungeon Meshi

Step one: Force/Manda/Magic Bullshit yoinks, mmm, six clans from different universes into the Dungeon Meshi one. Can they tell whether or not they’re from different universes? Not really, the differences are minimal. The Bullshit just did that so none of the clans would have grudges. Anyways, the Gorane (blacksmiths) quickly figured out that hey, Adamantium (and maybe Mithril) are nearly identical to beskar in terms of properties! What’s the big difference? Well, Beskar interferes with magic. A lot. It can entirely dispel simple magic, and complex magic takes a lot more effort to maintain and works a lot worse on a Mando’ad in full beskar. Now, because of this, heirloom sets that are beskar do *not* get stripped for electronics *ever*. The gorane figured out how to recreate the functionality of the electronics through simpler circuits and magic, but that only works on steel, adamantium, and mithril. Anyways, it’s been a few generations, and you know how Mandalorians are with adopting. The clans are prospering, and have taken in plenty of orphans from other species, although spellcasters make most Mando’ade a little uncomfy, due to societal Jedi/Sith trauma. Each clan splits in half, six finding land to settle down on, the other six still wandering as nomads, sometimes being trading caravans, sometimes *protecting* trading caravans, sometimes just blowing through towns to eradicate monster flocks and leaving not even the corpses behind. Why wouldn’t they leave the corpses? Mando’ade are hunters by tradition more than they are warriors. They know how to take the remains of beasts and make them useful, both as food and as goods. Now, when the whole thing with Dungeon Meshi’s dungeon starts up, various Mando’ade hear about this, and go “hang on, we can make ourselves an Evaar’la Manda’yaim [New Soul-home]? AND it’s filled with monsters that we can take for food and to make shit to sell? Sign us the fuck up!!!” And most of them immediately got cuffed by their clan leaders, because it wouldn’t be a proper Hunt if they just swarmed the dungeon en masse (and the generations they’ve lived out of the GFFA have had them lean more into Proper Challenge Hunts than what they had going on before). Eventually, they decided to send out one warrior from each clan, in two squads of six. Each warrior was armed with a traditional beskad (type of Mandalorian sword, roughly machete sized, this thing),

and also an ori’beskad designed after The Bullshit, made possible by the lightness of magical metals (think this here wooden sword,

but with a cutout or two like the other beskad), as well as your typical bajillion knives. As for kom’rk (gauntlet) armaments, blasters are out (can’t make them because tech limitations, DEFINITELY can’t make ammo. Because tech limitations), but needle-dart launchers are in (what it sounds like. Long thin pointy metal needles that go very fast and can fuck up whatever it goes through if it hits something vital). Flamethrowers, cable launchers, and plasma/magic bucklers are still in, but whistling birds have been switched out for little spell storage crystals or some shit, maybe a potion injector instead. Knee missiles just get ditched entirely (rip). HUD functionality is maintained by magic, as are helmet filters and the like. Jetpacks are also out, unfortunately, but they’re working on that, and haven’t needed quite that much upward mobility in situations where a cable would do the trick yet. Anyways, the Mando’ade have a policy of not taking off their helmets fully in the dungeon, only taking them off at all by just slipping them far enough up to eat. This is for safety purposes. None of the ones in this particular dungeon have beskar armor, as it may interfere with the magic that makes revivals Super Duper Easy and that would be Not Good. The two squads eventually realize “fuck, healers and spellcasters are. Kinda necessary. And we don’t really. Have any of those between the 12 of us” (like I said; Sith/Jedi Trauma). So, they split into six pairs (no Mando’ade should go alone, especially not with their numbers already so low) that join up with other parties. And that’s about where I’m at with this idea!

[arcenergy]

what is the best dungeon in ffxiv and why is it the twinning

[thegeminisage]

okay i have another zelda ask for you. save for whenever you want a meaty ask. in my recent zelda youtubery people have been revisiting/laughing at that wacky animated series or whatever, like 'lol this was SO bad we will never get a zelda movie now'. which.. i'm not even sure if i want in the first place. but i did think, "well liz could write a good one". so if nintendo kidnapped you and forced you to write the zelda movie. what's your vision for the vibe/big plot points/character arcs? or like. what would it need to be good. just for fun! i hope you never get sick of me sending you random zelda asks. xoxoxo.

I WILL LITERALLY NEVER GET SICK OF THIS. i am literally SO flattered you think i could do it justice. you are gonna regret asking me though because the more time i had to think this over the more elaborate it got. so. (also, i have seen the animated series in its entirety. a long time ago now but i did. it sure was an experience; some of it i liked and some of it i really hated.) also sorry this took me so long to do i took a week’s break in the middle to read 1.3 million words of fanfiction. I BET YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT well i didnt. i have devoted so much brainpower to this. too much brainpower even

anyway. the first obvious and easy answer is that i would simply have them shoot ocarina of time. with only the most nuanced of performances, the most tasteful CGI, the best on-site locations for shooting, a score by koji kondo himself which is then of course performed LIVE exclusively by tokyo philharmonic. this is the movie of my dreams. or, hell, i’d have them shoot, in particular, the movie version of the fanfic i wrote when i was 14, adapting ocarina of time. this was my first ever fic so as you can imagine it was a complete bastardization full of OCs and character death and i will forever be sad it was lost to the sands of time. 

HOWEVER. that’s the short boring answer, and having adapted it myself i know that oot is a challenging game to put into a story that doesn’t involve audience interaction, because a great bulk of the game is spent inside dungeons where, strictly plotwise, Nothing Happens. also i don’t think that’s the movie nintendo would want to make, or allow me to make. i think nintendo would want a new story with a new link, just like they would for a new game, to make it accessible for people who have never touched a zelda game before. (i think, mistakenly, they would want to make the movie primarily for that audience, but more on that later.) i also think that with the major game movies lately there’s been a push for things to be Funny - detective pikachu and the sonic movies are all packed with jokes, and from the looks of it the mario movie, while hopefully less successful (chris pratt...die), will attempt to be too. i also know that nintendo has a habit of trying out really risky ideas that sound bad but then work out well in the execution (smash brothers, to name one humble example - the mario movie will be an exception to this). i ALSO know that the most popular zelda games by and far are oot and botw, so while this project would require a new story i (and hopefully this hypothetical nintendo) would want to draw from and reference those games the most.

so. here is the movie i think nintendo would make, or allow me to make, if they trusted me a lot and were willing to take a few risks with me. THIS IS SOOO LOOOONG LOL (i am not kidding this post is ~7500 words) unfortunately this has to behind a cut. nobody is obligated to read it, it’s fucking insane. it would never fit into a 2-hour movie experience without feeling rushed, but we can just pretend i’m a deft enough writer to make it happen and execute it perfectly. i am going to reiterate that NOBODY needs to read this, oh my god, but anyway, here goes nothing:

ZELDA THE MOVIE (LIZ EDITION)

does link talk?

FIRST THINGS FIRST. this is undoubtedly the biggest question in any zelda movie, right? link talking is weird and not who he is, but how can you have a movie where the main character does not speak? in old games it didn’t really matter that he didn’t talk, but i think botw did a great job in showing us he does talk a little, sometimes, when he has to, without us ever actually hearing him, and that he has Believable Reasons for usually choosing not to do so. so i’m gonna go with something like that - link CAN talk, but usually doesn’t, probably due to some backstory reasons. i think he could speak in the film, but maybe only once - 3 times max, and each time it’s only one sentence or phrase. VERY limited. words are a precious resource.

animated or live action?

i think the previous question’s answer actually takes care of this one. now i LOVE animation, 2D or cgi, so this is a really difficult one, but i think a true human performance will almost always be able to capture more nuance, and if you are going to have a protagonist that is mostly nonverbal, you NEED an actual actor to be making good informative faces. i could POSSIBLY accept an actor informing the animation of a virtual character, like they do for tlou and quantic dream games, but it’d have to be like, pre-rendered, and not generated “in-engine,” if that makes sense, just for quality purposes. i don’t want this movie to look like a video game, even a really nice looking video game - i want it to look like a movie. i think it makes it fresher for old fans and more accessible for new ones!

the score

for sure we need old zelda tunes for this; my biggest disappointment re: the sonic movies was that there wasn’t enough of that jammin’ sonic music in them. so for zelda i think it’d be fun to have someone from nintendo collab with someone from hollywood to make a mix of something that’s faithful to the games and evocative of decades of nostalgia but also FEELS like a movie score. like, koji kondo + hans zimmer or something. that soundtrack, assuming those stingy bastards ever sold it, would FLY off the metaphorical shelves. it’d be really fun too to maybe some really well-known, very skilled fan musicians put in a few of the covers! a video game movie is FOR the fans, so it makes perfect sense. like letting that one guy sing in the sega 30th anniversary concert. i’m not saying let seth evermann and toby fox and david erick ramos and brock hewitt and theophany have tracks in the movie, but like, let them have tracks in the movie?!?!

i also think mashups between modern and classic games would be fun. if you’ve never heard this one that combines the botw labyrinth/lost woods theme with zelda ii’s temple theme, you are missing out! please feel free to listen to it while you read this, because i would definitely use it or something very similar to it as a theme for a dungeon scene. for the opening titles we OF COURSE need oot's iconic title theme i will accept nothing less

slightly related, i think if we need to pick a particular direction for the soundtrack (the way botw’s was breathy and quiet and full of piano, or the way link’s awakening’s was quirky and cute), i’d pick a slight techno/edm direction, owing to the setting i have in mind (more on that in a minute), but something that could veer into the traditionally orchestrated as well. tbh the tron legacy soundtrack was sort of edm and orchestrated at the same time so maybe something like that??? now i’m just showing my bias LMAO

the cast + the audience

animated or live action, i actually have no idea who i’d cast - oot link was actually based off of leo dicaprio in titanic, but he’s way too old now and also that’d be weird. like i’m not the person to do fancasts bc i don’t follow any actors and the like (idris elba could make a great ganondorf though). but i think the smart thing to do for link and zelda would be to get someone extremely talented but largely unknown. so we look at them and see their characters, not their very famous actors who are bound to have the wrong connotation for SOMEBODY. that is very hard! but this is a fantasy, this is never going to happen, so we’ll assume nintendo, who still has me at gunpoint, will take my advice to spend their vast millions finding the perfect link and zelda. i know they are out there somewhere

“but what about attracting new audiences” WELL i touched on this earlier but maybe we need to chill with attempting to grub for new consumers! of course nintendo’s instinct is to get new butts in those seats and make them want to buy zelda games bc they have dollar signs in their eyes (yen signs?) and diehard fans will ALREADY keep buying every zelda ever made no matter what. i have paid for ocarina of time like 5 fucking times now and if they port the 3D version to switch i’ll fucking pay for it again and thank them while i do it! but that’s my point exactly. like, look at the sonic movies: they get mixed reviews from critics unfamiliar with the series but sonic FANS will go to war for them. the people who are gonna show up to midnight release and pay to see Theee Zelda Movie in theaters like 6 times before it releases to video/streaming are the people already fucking obsessed with zelda. i think for this project it would be crucial to strike a perfect, PERFECT balance. if the movie fucking sucks bc they were just trying to use it to sell games there won’t be a sequel. there won’t be rewatches. it’ll just go down as another lame cash cow. but if the movie doesn’t attract ANY new consumers there also...still won’t be a sequel, and it still won’t be regarded as a success. so.

i think we should make up the Fame Factor of the protagonists being nobodies by having the side characters voiced by some big names. if/when people like malon, impa, groose, the sages/champions/etc appear they could be played by famous people. i think it’d also be fun to get some cameos in there - have shigeru miyamoto, eiji aonuma, and charles martinet show up like stan lee in a marvel movie. zelda williams too if she’s comfortable with that! the more the merrier! get that star power in! make that $$$ so our corporate overlords allow us to make a sequel and also don’t fucking shoot me! and the biggest star of all should be...

the partner

if link is nonverbal, SOMEBODY in this joint needs to be delivering the dialogue. i know the lack of a partner was a big hit in botw, and it worked really well there, but while books and games can survive without dialogue it’s much harder for movies - that’s the main method of communicating information to your audience. a good nonverbal performance certainly helps with communicating information, as do clever camera shots and other techniques for dialogue-less storytelling, but in the end, for a mainstream movie, link would need SOMEONE to be his voice, that’s part of why he HAD partners for so many games. it’s an age-old technique in games with a voiceless protagonist to have other characters guess at or describe what they want to say to pass the idea along to us, so i think it could work very well in film too.

now i think nintendo would want to make a totally new partner, since there’s a new one for each of the games, and they would want to cast the Most famous person possible to get non zelda fans in those seats, but again, if i was in charge of this thing i would advise heavily against it. casting the most famous person they can afford is fine if it’s not chris pratt, but we need a character fans already know, and my gut instinct tells me it should either be navi or fi. 

now, hear me out, because i know BOTH are characters that kind of annoyed players initially due to frustrating gameplay mechanics, but the fanbase’s impression of their CHARACTERS in-universe has softened a good deal over time. i think how annoying they are could also be played for a little bit of comic relief/nostalgia, which is good since zelda is often quite serious in its plot, and this character would be onscreen nearly constantly, likely having the biggest speaking role, so you could drop that comic relief in whenever you liked. 

reasons it could be fi: connected to the master sword, has been with every iteration of link from the very beginning and can explain the reincarnation/cycle thing, good way to induce a call to action or whatever

reasons it could be navi: plays on the nostalgia of ocarina of time, the undisputed KING of “best zelda ever” until botw, she could be with link from BEFORE the movie starts and know him a little better, and even express desire to resist the call

being a 90s kid i am favorable to navi, but i think the plot could work with either of them. just not a new character!!!

the setting

i’m actually gonna take a little bit of risk with my setting here and suggest all those flirtations nintendo has had with adding urban elements and tech (and space invaders?!) to the legend of zelda become real. the sheikah tech in botw came VERY close, so it doesn’t seem like that much of a stretch to have link wandering around a tlou-like hyrule, one that used to resemble our own modern urban life, or maybe even something even more futuristic. 

and i say tlou-like because oh yeah i think this also needs to be post-apocalypse. this one is not at ALL a stretch - even before botw, we also had versions of hyrule that were destroyed and/or taken over by hostile forces in the original legend of zelda, a link to the past (dark world) & a link between worlds (lorule), oot (bad timeline), wind waker (got mcfucking flooded), minish cap (hostile takeover leaving statues behind), twilight princess (coup + twilight realm), not to mention majora’s mask being ABOUT an oncoming apocalypse, and of course we can’t forget koholint either. give settings like this or this or this or this some of that quirky hylian flare that only nintendo can do, add some monsters (more on this in a sec), and i think you’ve got a world that is both easily understandable by audiences unfamiliar with the series AND one that is both nostalgic and fresh for old fans - in the same way that botw’s hyrule was.

but i don’t think this is the ONLY hyrule we should see. this leads into (at last)...

the premise

i’m just gonna say it: time travel.

obviously not a stretch by any imagination, since THEEE zelda game of all time involved time travel and helped produce the finalized branching timeline as a result, but we don’t actually time travel too often outside of that...like i said, i want to draw a lot from oot! 

i also want to explore the cycle of reincarnation* introduced in skyward sword. skyward sword and botw are very exciting to me as a longtime fan because these are the first attempts we’ve seen at pulling the games all together and making an entire universe/connected story out of them instead of letting them just float around in the ether as a collection of stand-alones that sometimes have barely-connected sequels if they’re lucky. botw in a way felt like the first proper sequel we’ve ever REALLY had. 

*yes, it’s actually more complicated than simple reincarnation, since the zeldas are all technically separate people and ganondorf never dies, but i think it’s good shorthand and tbh i wouldn’t mind if we switched to “link and zelda are always reincarnated but ganondorf never dies” or “everybody is reincarnated” for the movie just to make it more digestible to the Masses - i feel like a relatively small portion of the main fanbase would complain, especially if the rest of the movie was good. using the same actress for zelda in every timeline is easy visual shorthand, similar to using the same actor for link, whether it’s animated or live-action. it’s just easier!! sorry, this may a bit unpopular to our hypothetical hardcore fans.

i’d also like to explore what it means to accept the call of destiny/call to action and to refuse it. i had an anon once (posts here, here, and here) who talked about playing botw as someone who’d never touched zelda before and they had a totally different experience than me and how they wanted to refuse to save the world, and there’s also this comic! and i think that's the craziest brainiest shit ever so of course i’d want it in my movie.

and finally, i know it’s partially because botw2 will never give us this, but i am chomping at the BIT for some good guy ganondorf content, especially since skyward sword basically told us he didn’t ask for it to be like this anymore than link and zelda did. a lot of fanon around botw2 rehydrated ganondorf has him having been really close friends with a link and zelda at some point before being overwhelmed by his curse, and i like that a lot. because then not only is he a formidable villain, but he’s also a villain with STAKES - we like him and we want him to be saved from himself, and the monster he becomes. 

anyway, what with multiple timelines/hyrules (termina and koholint etc are also fine, they’re still from link’s adventures), it would be cool if the “older” hyrules had more traditional music, and the tracks for modern hyrule were a little more slamming. that’s a little risky, though; might be better to just straight edm or orchestrate all of it without a split.

the plot

so, i’m not getting into the specifics of each scene or how it should go because at that point i’m outlining a fanfic i’ll never write, and i have at least three ideas for how any given major beat could play out anyway, so think of this as more of a general overview.

i thinking something like: link roams the urban apocalypse landscape on his lonesome (or with navi if that’s the partner character) hunting treasure in the ruins to sell and living off the land the way he does in botw. (maybe he has steampunk goggles lol.) he’s a friendly guy who tries to go out of his way to help people but he does not have a Purpose. i’m thinking an early scene where he tries to save some passerby from monsters** and lacks a proper weapon (his is rusted or gets broken), or maybe a bit where he gets caught by monsters while looking for treasure, and again his weapon breaks, and that can throw us into the action. then later he sells his treasure to a merchant, and the people around him can give exposition on why the world is like this (something to do with ganondorf, of course - i’m thinking similarly to botw, he fucked shit up bigtime before he got sealed away by zelda) and how hopeless everyone is that anything will ever get better. again, navi can be link’s voice during this part, if she is his partner - explaining he doesn’t talk much, answering questions on his behalf.

**i am very firm on this: we need either newly designed monsters for the movie (likely what nintendo would do) or a mix of the monsters from various games. i don’t want to ONLY use monsters from botw for example, because this isn’t the botw movie, it’s the zelda movie. (i’m already drawing SO much from botw i’d be reluctant to use any monsters from it at all that weren’t exclusive to that particular game.) so maybe the botw guardians, the oot redeads, the wind waker moblins, etc. i think a guardian would actually be a great first encounter because they’re fucking terrifying and the piano chime coming in would have an entire theater ready to jump right out of their seats!! anyway

i think link should maybe get a glimpse of the master sword during that adventure, or see it in a dream or whatever, and if fi is gonna be our partner she can lead him to it as she did before in the night, or he can go back looking for it, but either way the next thing he does is find the sword and pull it out of the stone. LEFT-HANDED. idgaf which hand the actor is dominant with. it’s a movie! act! i hate righty link >:( both the sword from the stone and the lefty link are CRUCIAL imagery.

ANYWAY, this is why i like navi being the partner character. i think fi could and would come out of the sword, and explain why the world is like this, and tell link what he must do to save it, and beckon link towards the call of adventure. but i also think that is a little bit boring and lacks narrative tension. i think it would be more fun to actually give navi a plotline where she wants to REFUSE the call, because it would conflict with link’s stubborn insistence on always doing the right thing.

let’s say this navi is THEEEEE same navi from ocarina of time, right? that she remembers all of that, and she remembers how ocarina of time is actually the saddest zelda game, and she had a good reason for leaving at the end. (the actual reason is that apparently she had romantic feelings towards link, but that’s weird and bad and i don’t like it, so i am ignoring it, since nintendo also won’t fess up to it on record.) and so now she just wants to hang out with link and keep him safe and happy or whatever. adventures are hard! they’re sad! link has to sacrifice and suffer every time he’s called to save the world! ganondorf is fine where he is, so why bother! (link would not know or remember any of this - obviously, he wouldn’t remember his past lives, but it’s very possible he doesn’t remember his own life before navi came to him either; maybe he was in whatever wrecked hyrule and slept for a hundred years like in botw, or maybe it was like this when he was born, but this is, crucially, all navi’s big secret to carry.)

fi could still come out of the sword as a minor character in this instance to argue with her, but eventually link would successfully be talked out of taking the sword and put it back in the pedestal - which makes the spirit of the sword, whether she is seen onscreen or not, rebel and send him back through time. i am undecided on whether it’s an illusion and he just goes back to relive his old memories or whether he actually for real time travels - there are pros and cons to both approaches! either way navi would go with him (unless fi is the partner character and then i suppose she could) because link does still need a voice!

this will now be a call to adventure more convincing than any possible sword spirit: a glimpse of what link’s missing. the hyrule he winds up in could be HIS hyrule with all the future-y stuff but before the apocalypse fucked it up. the sky is blue, the sun is out, there’s no monsters! i think it could have kind of a solarpunk vibe, honestly. familar landmarks we passed before are restored, people like the ones he maybe couldn’t save are walking around. but in order to get back home link has to find the master sword in this era and put it back in the pedestal of time (or something like that...details aren’t important), so he spends a little time here, and, most crucially, meets zelda.

zelda and ganondorf

i think this will probably be the most important 5 or 10 minutes of the movie. you know how at the beginning of “up” you’re like ready to start bawling from 10 minutes of content bc it was that good and meaningful? we gotta do it like that. i’m not sure what happens, if it should be like an actiony adventure scene or just them hanging out, but even if they span days or weeks or months in-universe we would have 10 minutes, i think, to make the audience absolutely fall head over heels in love with this girl. possibly this is the first time we hear link actually speak - the fact that he says three entire words in front of her is a sign she’s something really special. but our movie-goers need more than anything to really believe link would want to save her, that she’s not just some chick he’s saving because that’s what you do. i think the entire conflict of the movie would rest on this premise: navi representing the part of link that wants to refuse the call, and zelda representing the part of him that wants to answer it.

it might be a good idea to have link meet ganondorf here, too, but not see too much of him, because i also think it’s a good idea for him to witness the beginning of hyrule’s destruction. we’d be due for an action scene, and also it makes the instinct to jump in and fight stronger. but when link finds and touches the master sword again (or whatever) - bam. different time.

i am picturing a non-linear jump through multiple hyrules, in which link meets many familiar faces (this is where our cast can be star-studded if budget allows) and tours many familiar locations, all the while trying to solve the mystery of the disaster in his own time and how he can make it right. it’s even possible that he could flip back to his own hyrule here and there - it would depend on the logistics of the actual time traveling mechanic. what he finds out as he goes back and forth through these various hyrules is twofold: that he has prevented and healed great suffering, but also suffered deeply himself, which again adds to the long list of pros and cons of saving the world or letting it fend for itself.

in this section link also finds out about demise’s curse, and the cycle he and zelda and ganondorf are all trapped in. if the ten minute opener to Old Hyrule was meant to make our audience fall in love with zelda, i think this section should make them sympathize with ganondorf. i would like to show him doing good things and bad things - i want to see the half-feral freak from twilight princess and the remorseful noble antagonist from wind waker. i think it’d be really neat to have link thrown into a final battle at one point, since if ganondorf is a “good guy” it’s not likely it’ll happen any other way and i’d hate not to have one. and of course we’d also have to see demise - it’s important to show that ganondorf’s agency over his own actions was somewhat limited. it’s a gray area because he chose to do some of it but how much choice did he really have in any of it? a scene where he’s sort of fighting with himself would be really good, because in struggling to decide whether or not to enter back into the cycle and suffer to save the world AGAIN, link is struggling with himself too. or maybe something where he’s looking at the aftermath of what he’s done and is horrified and wants link to put him down? idk!! there’s so many ways it could go - even before demise’s curse was canon, wind waker ganondorf sort of painted a picture of a man who was backed into a corner by the unfairness of life, which is again something link and zelda are very familiar with.

and we definitely wouldn’t leave zelda out of these sections! the goddamn series is named after her. like i said, every zelda would be probably played by the same actress, and while it’s always nice to see her, it’s not the same as knowing the zelda we met first is safe and happy. we can get to know her and her own struggle with living up to her role of protecting the kingdom, we can see her interact with ganondorf, and she she can help link figure out how to get to the next hyrule and dodge enemies, but in the end, he always has to leave her behind, and he has yet to find out what happened to the first zelda he met, the one from “his” hyrule, before the apocalypse.

i think it is in this section that someone, zelda or ganondorf, expresses the hope that there’s a way to break demise’s curse so they can all rest. there should be some back and forth on this - it could be possible, it could be impossible - but i think there should be a glimmer of real hope beyond “surely there’s a way!” but no guarantee. i think the triforce would be a good way to accomplish this - its power is theoretically unlimited, but you’d have to unite it first, and the only one who usually does that is ganondorf, and because he’s cursed, it responds to his evil wishes with evil. so it’s theoretically possible but practically impossible, you know?

and okay, like, you’d think ganondorf would think it was pointless while zelda would hold out hope that it could still happen, but i think it’d be fun to actually subvert those expectations! i think for ganondorf, who arguably suffers the bleakest fate***, to have the most optimism, would endear him greatly to our hypothetical audience, and make them want to save him too.

***bro, at least link and zelda get to be heroes and people are glad to see them. ganondorf is hated and feared by all and he doesn’t even get to DIE. he always loses and even when he wins his reward is unchecked destruction. yikes.

the bad guy (not ganondorf!!)

i think in addition to needing to solve the puzzle of his and zelda’s and ganondorf’s incredibly complex histories, and the history of hyrule itself, link should also be running from something, to give the film urgency and action scenes. if ganondorf is the good guy, we need an antagonist and a threat. you know how in zelda ii, all the monsters want link’s blood because it could revive ganon? i think that would be a RAD callback, and also give a bad guy a reason to chase link through time - with his blood, they can unseal ganondorf. 

i have two candidates in mind for this. technically three, because the first candidate is twinrova/koume & kotake. they have the potential to be wickedly funny and pants-shittingly terrifying (they were both in ocarina of time, because they bicker but they also do scary mind control), they are ganondorf’s surrogate mothers, AND they have canonically tried to resurrect ganon(dorf) before. the other person it could be is dark link. dark link wouldn’t be as funny or as talkative as the witches, but he would be lots scarier and it would give link’s actor a chance to do a little vocal performance. (just because link doesn’t talk doesn’t mean his evil shadow can’t taunt him mercilessly.) these are both REALLY appealing to me, but if i had to choose, i’d go with dark link, because struggle with the self is a defining factor in this arc i am building. it’s also a good callback to zelda ii, where he first appeared, and where the “blood of link” plotline comes from. if we already have navi, i don’t think it’s fair to have another oot-specific character no matter how funny she/they would be.

so twinrova or dark link is heading up a monster posse chasing link through time, trying to draw his blood so they can go back to the present and unseal ganondorf. meanwhile link is hopping from era to era with navi trying to figure out what it is he’s supposed to see or know so he can get back home and maybe save everyone. i imagine he’s generally only one step ahead of the monsters, and i think it’d be fun if there was at least one early fight scene with dark link in which link gets his butt kicked and barely gets away, because it would be fun to have another one later where the results are reversed.

navi/the reveal

during the course of this adventure, i think it would be kind of fun if navi, like i said, KNEW what she needed to know, but kept trying to keep link from finding out, sabotaging his efforts to answer the call because she wants them to refuse it so badly. but it was never gonna work, because link can’t go home until he figures out how to go home. you know? 

so the very last hyrule link would go to is the much-beloved ocarina of time, where, unbeknownst to him, he and navi first met. we’ll say that maybe she left to figure out if there was a way to break the cycle, even though we never saw her find out about it in oot because it didn’t exist yet, and though she looked for thousands and thousands of years, she never found one, so eventually she decided to return to link. she was there the day the apocalypse started in “his” hyrule, and she saw that ganondorf went mad trying to resist what demise’s curse wanted him to do, and eventually snapped and idk torched everything. and that means she saw what happened after, and how he was sealed - zelda herself sealed him, just like she did in botw, and she’s stuck with him inside the remnants of hyrule castle. (is it still a castle if it’s all futuristic? maybe something like this or this or this except, you know, hylian.) she’s not conscious and suffering trying to hold him back the way she was in botw, i think they’re both just frozen in time or something, but nonetheless - the only way to free zelda is to also free ganondorf. 

and that would start the cycle anew, which is why navi tried so hard to let them just stay where they were. 

link learns other things about his life in oot’s hyrule, i think. this is veering into headcanon territory, but i always read oot’s link as an outcast; he’s stuck between two worlds, and in kokiri forest he was a bullied kid, and all but tossed out on his ass even after he saved them, and not recognized or welcomed upon his return because of how different he looked as an adult. and he also lacks a proper place in the world outside the forest; as a little kid, no one takes him seriously, and he has no family or adults to take care of him so that he might lead a normal life. people are usually glad to see link in oot after he becomes an adult because he’s rescuing them, but as a kid i feel like most of the time he’s told to buzz off and go play. 

anyway, since navi was a firsthand witness to this particular journey to save hyrule, i feel like you could definitely swing her reading of those events as “the world rejected link and only wanted him when they needed him.” i don’t think it’s true, and i don’t think link thinks it’s true, it’s obviously way more complex than that, but it’s a good way to show that in addition to link, zelda, & ganondorf suffering because of demise’s curse, the people who love them (navi, who in this case is standing in for us, the audience, who hopefully by now loves them very dearly) suffer along with them, and want to help ease their pain and regrets. “why would you want to save a world that doesn’t want you?” is a very good question, and it gets right to the heart of who link is as a person, in EVERY iteration: someone who cares deeply about others and wants to do the right thing.

and i think this might be the first break between link and navi’s partnership - he’d want to save zelda and hyrule, and she wouldn’t. and if she had told him about it honestly from the beginning it would have made a compelling argument, and part of him maybe wants to give it up just because he wants to spare her that pain, but the other part of him knows he can’t, and is hurt about being lied to and sabotaged, because he thought she was on his side. i think maybe they fight about it? inasmuch as you can fight with someone who doesn’t speak. (and see, if the partner character were fi, link would just have to be transported back to the apocalypse and watch zelda seal ganondorf herself. lame.)

the climax

BUT THEN. before they can finish fighting, before link can finish deciding what to do, dark link (or twinrova ig) & the monsters show up. i prefer dark link for this because he represents link’s struggle. link can’t save zelda and hyrule without going back into the cycle (and he’d have to fight ganondorf, who we like!). dark link also wants to restart the cycle but for the wrong reasons (he wants to bring back ganondorf with link’s blood). since he’s a bad guy, he makes navi’s suggestion of just leaving things as they are, which initially seems cold and selfish, look more reasonable by comparison.

so link and dark link would have to fight in oot’s hyrule (classic!), maybe in hyrule field with lots of rain, or the water temple, or perhaps an ever-shifting background like in final destination in smash bros yes i really said that. i think this is the “final boss battle” of this movie - this is an all-out fight with special effects and action and high stakes. it’s possible that link speaks in this battle because it’s a very important moment, possibly ironically to tell dark link to shut up. dark link could even put navi in a bottle or something, i don’t know. this is the reason i wanted an earlier fight with dark link (or again, possibly twinrova) where link got his ass beat, because it would establish him (them) as SCARY, and establish how badly things could go if link loses. 

i think for this fight, link would falter in the first half, not yet settled in what he wants to do, but eventually, navi would do something to help him out - warn him about a blow or take a blow or heal an injury - to show that she has finally accepted the call herself, she IS on his side no matter what that means, and that she’ll support whatever his decision is. when they fight together, they win handily, illustrating the newfound strength in their bond. 

the ending

finally, link goes back to his own hyrule, master sword in hand, free at last of dark link and his monsters (or who knows, maybe they are still chasing him and he only just got away again). navi could be with him, but if we wanted an awful cliffhanger, we could have her sacrifice herself to get link to where he needs to be, and now the enemy has her, and we don’t know if she’s okay. i think the ending scene might be more dramatic if link was alone, but it could go either way.

at this point i think fi could lead link back through the underground tunnels or wherever he is towards the ruins of the castle, similarly to how she may have led him to the sword - if fi isn’t in this at all, he could just have a feeling, a curiosity. but we see him walk through a cave much like the one in the botw2 trailer, and maybe some soundbytes from earlier in the movie play - lines about how there MUST be a way to stop the cycle break the curse, and lines about what a bad idea it would be to try. this is why i think navi might need to be absent here; link alone should make the choice, not influenced by anyone else, and soundbytes are a good way to show that he’s still struggling with this decision.

and he goes on and on, and the tunnels get darker and darker, more and more destroyed, and he has to shine a flashlight, and he looks just like he did at the start of the film when he was hunting treasure or whatever, but this time he’s alone. 

his flashlight beam maybe like falls across ganondorf’s snarling face, suspended in time, for a little jumpscare. a wider sweep reveals he’s found zelda too at last. the triforces on their hands are glowing, they’re locked in battle, it’s sad and scary. there is something like desperation in zelda’s eyes, but in ganondorf’s too. all three of them are all trapped in a moment in time, reliving it over and over, and they can’t get out. and link looks at them, and his little soundbytes play, and then he has to decide if one tiny impossible hope for breaking demise’s curse is worth accepting the risk of so much pain and suffering for all three of them, and more people besides.

close in on link’s bloody hand white-knuckling the sword. the triforce of courage is flickering to life on his own hand, because he is considering making the most courageous choice of all, to face down his fear of the oncoming suffering to fight for who he loves, for what is right. but he opens his hand, drops his weapon, and it flickers out. and you think, yeah, okay, he’s giving up navi asked him to, right?

then link lifts his hand, still bleeding, so close he could touch ganondorf and undo the seal at last, and the triforce blazes to life--

and we roll those motherfucking credits.

the midcredits scene/sequel hooks

zelda is such a complex series that it seems nearly impossible to sum up the entire thing in one movie. i’m sure in real life even the most skilled of editing couldn’t cut this concept down to an acceptable movie time without something feeling rushed. but we definitely don’t have time to set up the problem AND give it a satisfying resolution, hence the cliffhanger. 

after the initial animated cool credits, i think we’d need an epilogue scene. i am thinking something like, maybe we had a fakeout and thought navi and dark link were both dead and/or beyond link’s reach, but then we pan back to the battlefield and see that oh my god, navi’s okay! but whoops, so is dark link. he puts her back in a bottle or something and does a cool villain laugh and navi is like WHATS SO FUNNY and he’s like HAHAHAHAHA MY MASTER LIVES to confirm that link did indeed wake the slumbering beast

things the sequel would need to address: getting navi back (link looking for navi is a great callback to majora’s mask), fighting dark link again maybe, what happens when ganondorf, who has already gone evil this time, wakes up, how to save zelda from ganondorf, how to save hyrule, and of course, how to break the curse (whether or not it’s possible with the power of the triforce, and how it will go now that link got his piece). a sequel movie probably wouldn’t feature the same wide array of characters and settings as the first, but with the benefit of developed characters and plot that’s already been set up, it could tell a more satisfying story without having to rely on nostalgia and fight scenes for as much of its fun. it would also be a great chance to explore the futuristic hyrule which we wouldn’t have gotten to see as much of in movie #1

with all that potential, if i somehow managed to pull off that first movie, nintendo would SURELY greenlight a sequel in which link finally faces his greatest foe of all: not ganon, but destiny itself. not even the games have done that so it would be perhaps fucking AWESOME. but it's also quite likely that nintendo now regrets kidnapping me lmao

in conclusion/tl;dr

a perfect zelda movie needs classic zelda music, a nonverbal link + a funny partner, and lots of cameos. it has to strike a good balance with old and new fans and save the star-studded cast for the side-characters, not the main ones. it also needs to leave room for a sequel!! the most important plot point would be breaking link, zelda, and ganondorf out of their curse, because i am OBSESSED with that. obviously the games can never do it bc then there’s no more games, and nobody wants that, but if you’re going to change mediums, you can use that medium to what it is uniquely suited for - a showdown that is ultimate and final. there only need to be two zelda movies (MAYBE three if people just want a trilogy, but idk how you could possibly stretch it), which means they get to have something the games never could: an ending.

THANK YOU!!!! for coming to my motherfucking ted talk.

[jimlingss]

Sugar and Coffee [Finale]

Chapter 22 - Chapter 23 [Finale]

➜ Words: 5.1k

➜ Genres: 99.5% Fluff, 0.5% Angst, Pâtisserie school!AU

➜ Summary: It isn't hard to be a pâtisserie chef, but it's not a piece of cake either. It seems like for you in particular, life keeps throwing in one wrench after another. It always finds ways to make your sweets bitter. The cherry on top is Jeon Jungkook — a rival with a sensitive sweet tooth who always finds ways to complain about you.

cr.

Baking is an art form. It takes more than just having ingredients and following a recipe. It’s the flavour, texture, taste, and the presentation. It’s knowing why when things go wrong and how to fix it. It’s knowing the right kinds of ingredients to pick, how much of each should be combined, what techniques and methods to use. Baking is therapy. Baking is scientific. It is art.   The ingredients are as follows: 

Fresh strawberries

White chocolate sponge cake

Sugar

Butter

Eggs

You place the fresh strawberries into the refrigerator as the stand mixer whips the six large egg whites and two cups of sugar. When it's combined, you place a bowl over a double boiler on the stove and whisk until the mixture is hot. You put it on your stand mixer again until the white chocolate swiss meringue buttercream is stiff. The cubed butter and white chocolate is added shortly after until it's smooth.   Once you’ve got your components prepared, you slice the cooled white chocolate cake into two layers and set the bottom layer on a cake board on the turning cake table. You spread the meringue buttercream evenly with an offset spatula and layer the strawberries.    Afterwards, you put the other chocolate sponge cakes over it and repeat the process.   You finish the white chocolate strawberry swirl cake with white chocolate strawberries on top for decorative purposes and pipe flowers with a twelve inch piping bag.   “It looks fucking incredible.”   Jungkook leans over the counter, peering at the frosted cake you’ve just made.   “It was supposed to be white chocolate raspberry swirl, but I know you like strawberries, so….”   The boy grins, a wide smile that makes his big nose scrunch. “I love it.”   You burst out into giggles. “You haven’t even taken a bite yet!”   Jungkook begins slicing the cake. You’re proud of what you’ve made — but it’s kind of sad at the same time. This is the final product of your portfolio before it's ready for submission. You’re glad it’s over, but it also means your journey here is ending.   It’s November now. And it’s been one whole year since your relationship with Jungkook shifted.    A year ago — when the internship posting went up and you found out he was going to be your partner over the summer. When you were made his exam partner in your fine pastries class. When that Friday night happened and you bursted out crying in the kitchen, and he comforted you to no avail despite it being a cold night where the air bit his skin and turned his cheeks rosy. Where he bought you grape soda for no reason whatsoever other than a poor attempt at trying to make things better.   It seems like it was so long ago, but it’s only been three hundred and sixty days.   It makes you wonder what will happen a year from now or two or ten.   “Not too sweet?”   You watch your boyfriend’s expression carefully. Jeon Jungkook has his brows deeply furrowed with a thoughtful expression like he’s trying to give honest output. His fork is cleaned empty and it lowers to grab another bite.    “It’s perfect.” He melts into a smile. “Maybe you made my sugar tolerance go up.”   “Maybe because I improved.” You loll your head to the side, challenging him. “It’s almost as good as your chocolate-covered strawberry cupcakes, huh?”   Jungkook scoffs lightly. “I wouldn’t go that far, babe, but we can all dream.”   You sulk. “I’ll find out that recipe one day, Jeon. You mark my words and when I do, I’ll profit off of it.”   He laughs, the sound tickling and boyish, causing another smile to rise onto your features. Jungkook digs in, having yet another bite and he lets his teeth rot with the sweetness.    It’s not long before he remembers something, strides away with a hum and returns with a cold tray. “What is it?” you ask curiously as he sets it down and removes the saran wrap.   “It’s truffles. I made it in my art of chocolate class, but it’s an original recipe. Give it a try.”   He pushes the tray towards you and you don’t hesitate to grab a chocolate truffle. You would never, on any planet, deny the opportunity of consuming chocolate, especially when it’s made by Jeon Jungkook. You’ve never said it out loud before, but for some reason he always makes the best.   No grocery brand or chocolatier can beat what he often bakes for you.   So you try not to devour the truffle all in one bite, opting to relish and savour it. You take half of the truffle into your mouth and chew with the same consideration he had for you. And you’re surprised as the deep flavour melts on your palate. “Coffee?”    Your brows furrow and you lick your lips. “Did you put black coffee into it?”   “I was inspired by a memory,” Jungkook says with a soft smile. “What do you think?”   “I love it,” you exhale in awe, finishing the bite and licking your fingers.    It tastes kind of bitter, but it has a sweet note at the end.    It’s bittersweet. But mostly ends up sweet.

Life with Jungkook continues. Lectures and workshops become more hectic the closer the end comes, but in between classes and late nights spent in the kitchens next to ovens, you and Jungkook still find plenty of time with one another. Or at least enough that you still have your dumb debates and have your hour of snuggling — which Jungkook regularly falls asleep during.   The honeymoon phase of your relationship eventually fades away, but luckily it molds into a comfortable pattern that neither of you mind whatsoever. There are still knowing gazes shared across busy rooms, his hand that often comes on your lower back that you find security in, tender kisses shared when the two of you greet each other and bid temporary farewells.    You still love Jungkook very much and you don’t ever find yourself afraid of him leaving you abruptly.    Your relationship becomes normal too, so Yoongi and Taehyung has little to tease you both about. They instead relish in bullying Jimin when he ends up going out with a coworker of his at his new part-time job, much to the shorter man’s dismay.   Hoseok, on the other hand, while no longer in a relationship, finds an interest in teaching and starts to look into what it would take to become an instructor. You’re happy for him and so is Aeri who tells you she’s considering going abroad someday to expand her culinary skills and cook more international cuisine. She keeps herself preoccupied by improving herself and becomes someone worthy of your admiration.   But for the most part, things remain consistent and constant. There’s still bickering over lunchtimes and dinner times across the cafeteria table. Still nights of crashing Yoongi and Hoseok’s apartment and playing games. The five of you also start playing Dungeons and Dragons much to Taehyung’s delight who becomes the dungeon master — and while Yoongi always says he wants to stab himself halfway through every session, you’re sure he enjoys it as much as everyone else does.   The memories made are ones you cherish the most.   And before you know it, graduation has come.   “You look beautiful, dear,” Jungkook’s mom holds back tears as she grasps your hands tightly. “Congratulations.”   “Thank you.”   “Come on, you two!” His dad suddenly calls, holding an old camera up to his chin. “Let’s take some photos to remember the occasion!”   One hand holds your rolled certificate and the other holds your navy gown, you stand in front of the school sign with Jungkook who adjusts his black cap. He drapes his arm over your shoulder and the both of you tilt your heads towards each other and give the biggest grins.   The camera flashes. Again and again.   The corner of your mouth starts moving as your smile twitches. “How many is he taking?”   “Just smile,” Jungkook mutters through his grin as both his parents, his aunt and uncle, Lia and Eunbi, and grandma look on proudly. “He’ll do more if you try to argue.”   “Two more!” His dad shouts, despite taking another five.   His entire family seems so elated that your heart swells with endearment.   “I didn’t know your family would be so happy when you told them we were dating,” you murmur, switching your poses a bit. “You know, your grandma just asked me when we’re getting married.”   “Really?” He glances at you and then scoffs with another smile that’s more genuine. “Be lucky she has half a mind not to start asking when we’re having kids. Unless…...”   “I swear to god, Jungkook, if you get down on your knee in the middle of our graduation with everyone watching, I’m going to kick you in your shin.”   He giggles, nose scrunched, eyes crinkled.    It’s not long before Jungkook’s mother drags over Jimin overbearingly by the hand with Taehyung, Hoseok, and Yoongi for a group photo. There’re so many parents, family members, and phones and cameras being passed around that your plastered smile starts to break on your face. Everyone’s mother and their goddamn cousin’s cousin wants three copies of the same exact picture.   “Oh my god, kill me now,” Yoongi groans but still has that dumb fucking grin on his face. He looks more like a kid showing off his braces or a grandpa who has his dentures stuck.   You think he’s putting on that idiotic grin just to ruin the pictures — even his mom is yelling about it on the sidelines.   “Just a few more,” Jimin whispers with more perseverance than anyone else has.   “Who is even taking our picture, right now?” Hoseok asks, his brows furrowing. “Does anyone even know who that lady is?”   “I think she’s the associate dean’s assistant who’s going to put it on the website.” Taehyung breathes out, his cheeks aching from his smile. “Either that or that’s my cousin’s brother-in-law’s younger sister’s friend.”   “Alright, that’s enough.” Yoongi gives up and walks out of the frame. Everyone starts dispersing before there are protests and they’re rounded up for another pointless photo session.    But after a while, you’re granted some freedom to roam around with Jungkook. There’s still a few more photos taken, ones with Aeri and classmates and teachers, like Miss. Kang, who you always liked.    “I always knew the two of you could be close.” The female teacher has the cheesiest smile and you have to admit, you’re glad she never changed Jungkook’s internship like he wanted. In a way she’s like your matchmaker, but you’ll never say it out loud in case you give her more credit than it’s due. She already seems to know it anyway. “Good luck on your future journeys. You both have great potential.”   Namjoon and Sejeong also show up to congratulate the pair of you as well. And they meet Jungkook’s family who seems to adore the couple straight away, asking plenty of questions of what their shop is like and if their son was in any way helpful.   But while you’d like to stick around to hear all the conversations, it’s nice to take a break from the bustle to just walk on the paths that you used to take all the time with Jungkook.   You don’t know what it’s going to be like when you leave this place.   “Aren’t you kind of sad?” Your hand squeezes Jungkook’s and you turn to look at him.   “Yeah,” he admits. “But I’m also happy we don’t have to submit projects or do exams anymore. I’ll miss the routine. Of being able to hang out with the guys and eat with them all the time. But they’ll still be around and I have you.”   Jungkook’s gaze meets yours. His eyes are tender, soft.   You smile at him. That’s right — this chapter might be ending, but you’ll still have many more with him.   “Y/N!” There’s a call of your name and you turn to see your family waving at a distance. Your mom holds a flower bouquet, most likely for you and your cheeks swell with a smile.   Your arm extended in the air to wave back and your steps quicken with Jungkook’s to meet them.

A lot happens after graduation.   There are many changes and alterations. While you’ll still always be learning until the end of time, you’re no longer an official student and you’re thrown to the hounds called the real world.   But it’s not all that bad.   You get hired back at Kim’s Wedding Cake Company and work with Soohyun who’s returned from maternity leave. Yuna also sometimes joins during the weekends and much to your delight, she tells you that she’s enrolled in the institution as she had wanted. You can only imagine what kind of knowledge she’ll gain and stories she’ll end up having there like you did. But there’s not a lot of time to reminisce when there’s work and a ton to learn, but you find yourself enjoying it more than finding it difficult.   Jungkook, on the other hand, doesn’t return to the company. He instead gets hired at a chocolatier shop not far from where you work. It’s only a ten minute walk down the block; five for each of you when you meet halfway like you frequently do for lunch.   He tells you that he’s learning a lot, on what it takes in the artistry of chocolate, that there’s more meticulousness than what meets the eye. It sounds like an absolute nightmare to you, but he loves it — especially on the days when he smells sweet and there’s some chocolate smeared on his cheeks. And you don’t hate that he often brings you home truffles and caramels to try.   The two of you also move in with each other, sharing an old apartment not far from your workplaces. It’s not much different from how you used to live on campus at different dorms, except now there are bills to be paid and Jungkook steals all the hot water in the shower.   You wonder if this is what it feels like to be an adult.   “Y/N?”   There’s a familiar voice, but one you haven’t heard in ages. A smooth timbre that sounds light and humorous at the corners. You whirl around, regarding the tall man with dark hair, dressed in a dark turtleneck and a black trench coat. His sheepish eyes crinkle in his smile, lips pink and plush.   “Jin?” A grin spreads into your face as well. “Oh my god! How are you? It’s been so long! What are you doing here?”   “I live here, remember,” he reminds in the midst of squeaky giggles. “And I’m good. I’m actually on my way to a meeting. I’m working in management of Toute Pastries and Pâtisseries.”   “Wow, working in commercial bakeries? That’s impressive.”    But you’re not exactly surprised. You knew Seokjin always had it in him and you feel proud that someone you used to know has become so great.   Seokjin laughs. “Not really. It’s kind of less hands-off than I’d like, but what about you?”   “I’m good too. Just heading to my friend’s bakery.” You hitch a thumb over your shoulder. “Today’s the opening. Do you want to come?”   “I’d love to, but the meeting starts in twenty. I saw the sign the other day though. The bakery is that place that was being renovated on Imlingss Avenue, right?”   “Yeah. It’s next to the department store.”   “I’ll swing by when I have some time then.”   “When you have some time?” You eye him playfully and cross your arms. It might be inappropriate to be so sarcastic with an acquaintance, but being with Jungkook has made you more snarky than is probably socially acceptable. “So you’re a hot shot, now, aren’t you?”   Luckily, Jin doesn’t take offence and simply laughs. “I swear I’m not!”   It’s good to see him. You thought you never would again, at least not face-to-face like this. But what you least expected was that your conversations could be so light and natural. It isn’t difficult at all and you don’t find yourself uncomfortable nor holding any resentments. You aren’t sad or angry.   It’s like seeing an old friend again.   “I heard you were with Jungkook,” Jin says with the corner of his mouth quirked. “That’s a surprise.”   “Isn’t it?” Whenever Jungkook used to come up in a conversation, all you ever said to Seokjin was how trash he was. But that was before you really knew anything about him. “But he’s great. An idiot sometimes. But it’s great.”   Jin can see the happiness radiating off your face and it’s infectious. “I’m happy for you, Y/N.”   He says it sincerely, genuinely, and your smile widens. “Thanks.”   The both of you share a little more small talk before you’re on your way. And once farewells are said and done, you don’t look back or peek over your shoulder for another glance at him.    You’re content continuing straight forward.   “Sorry, I’m late.” The door chimes as it slowly shuts after you, the warm furnace heating the air and melting off the coldness of your skin.    “Of course you’d be late.” Yoongi is in his black apron, white shirt rolled up to his elbows and his arms crossed. “We already took the photos, don’t expect that we’ll re-take them.”   “A joy as always, Yoongi.” You smile at him, taking off your jacket and putting it on the coat rack at the corner. Jimin comes to greet you and you sigh softly. “Why’d you ever agree to open a bakery with him, Chim? You must be a saint to deal with his shit all the time.”   “I heard that.”   Jimin laughs. “Trust me, he kept on asking Jungkook when you would come. He’s all bark but no bite,” he whispers but it’s loud enough that Yoongi looks sorely unimpressed.   The shop is cute and spacious. It’s rather modern with square tables and chairs lining the walls. The lights come from the sides of the fancy ceiling, and there’s a counter to check out at with a main glass case where people can choose pastries from. In the corner, there’s also several smaller pastry display cases where patrons can grab trays, tongs and fill up their own plates.    You quickly greet everybody and then move to grab your one prized possession.    “Lemon meringue pie?” Taehyung laughs, watching you put two on your plate.   “You know I just have to.” You smile and sit at one of the tables, luckily having it on the house. Taehyung sits across from you. “Man, you’re so nice to let Yoongi have the entire recipe since it’s yours too.”   He shrugs. “It wasn’t like I had any plans with it in the first place, plus it was Yoongi’s idea to add the secret ingredient.”   “Which is?”   Taehyung grins his infamous boxy smile. “Nice try.”   “I’ll find out one of these days,” you warn. Taehyung handed you the recipe a long time ago but he conveniently omitted the secret ingredient and you haven’t forgiven him since. “And then I’ll be making it for myself every other night instead of giving my pretty penny over to Yoongi and Jimin.”   “Yeah, good luck with that.” He leans back in the comfortable chair. “I’m sure Yoongi will be protecting that from you for the rest of his life. He might be willing to exchange information though if he can get his hands on Jungkook’s chocolate-covered strawberries.”   Taehyung wiggles his brows, but you shake your head with a sigh. “He won’t tell me. I swear he’s holding it above my head so I can never ditch him.”   The man laughs and takes a look around the new shop.   Everyone is here — Hoseok, Jimin, Yoongi, Jungkook, Taehyung, Aeri and you — the entire crew with no one else missing. There are other people as well, sponsors and Yoongi and Jimin’s other acquaintances, but you muse how hard it is these days to gather up like you used to.   Everybody was busy and on their own paths. Doing their own thing. But it’s what made moments like these more precious.   “I would’ve joined them, should’ve,” Taehyung says wistfully with a sigh. “The original plan was actually Jimin, Yoongi, and I.”   “Yeah, but you wouldn’t have been happy.” You take another bite of the pie, chewing in your cheek.   “Yeah, that’s true.”   “Do you regret it? Going back to school?”   “No.” Taehyung smiles gently. “I love learning and I knew after graduation, I wanted to keep learning. I’m not as good at cooking as I am at baking, but it’s still fun and I think I’m getting better. The only issue is Yuna.” The man visibly and dramatically shivers and it elicits laughter from you.   “Does she bother you a lot?”   “Less like bothering and more like she literally pops up wherever I go,” he tells. “Sometimes I’m just minding my own business and then boom, out of nowhere, I turn the corner and she’s there. I’m starting to think she’s like a ghost or like….like…”   “—a witch,” Jungkook finishes and then leans down to plop a kiss at the top of your head. “Hey.”   “Hey.” You smile and he leans down to steal a bite of your pie, but you don’t mind much. “You’ll never guess who I saw earlier.” Curiosity gleams in Jungkook’s eye and you grin, wanting to put him suspense for a little longer. “I’ll tell you about it later, but is everyone grabbing dinner afterwards? I haven’t checked the messages yet.”   “Yeah, we are.”   Soon, Hoseok comes over and introduces his lady-friend that he brought with him as Naul. But you know through advice he’s sought through you a few weeks back that he’s been seeing her and taking it slow.    It’s nice to finally meet someone you’ve heard about, and you find that her calm and collected personality fits into Hoseok’s quite well.   You also meet Jimin’s girlfriend who is sweet and an avid talker about all things deli meats.    At your surprise of how ham supposedly doesn’t taste as good as some other cold cuts, she insists that you and Jungkook need to have a double date with her and Jimin so she can enlighten you on the world of salamis — to which you agree needs to happen. She’s peculiar, but sweet and cute when she’s with Jimin.   “So you’re really going?” you ask after Aeri confirms it. She had told you a month ago that she applied to study abroad and you couldn’t be anything but happy. Especially now that she’s just told you that she’s been accepted, you have nothing but eagerness for her.   “Yeah, I’m a bit nervous, but I’m super excited.”   You pull the girl into a tight embrace. “I’ll miss you, but have fun and stay safe. Stay in touch.”   “Thanks and I will, Y/N.” She giggles against you and pulls apart. “I hear Amsterdam is really nice and my aunt keeps advertising it, so I’m looking forward to it.”   “Apparently, those Dutch men are really something,” you murmur and she laughs. “You know, if I wasn’t in a happily committed relationship and with my dream job, I’d probably ask if I could come with you cause damn, they’re like a tall glass of water. You need to take advantage of that.”   “Who’s a tall glass of water?” Jungkook approaches with a sorely unimpressed expression.   It makes you go tight-lipped and Aeri giggles, slinking away before she’s caught in the crossfire.   While you and Jungkook playfully bicker in the middle of the store and he grabs you in a chokehold and you tickle him — much to the shock of the other patrons who don’t know you — Yoongi looks on behind the counter with a displeased expression.   Except that’s only his natural resting bitch face and not what he thinks internally.   Or at least that’s what Jimin realizes when Yoongi says to him privately— “They’re a pretty good match, huh? Jungkook and Y/N.”   “Yeah.” Jimin smiles, watching the two of you act like children. “They are.”   It’s sad when the opening event eventually ends. The night comes and dinner is soon over too. Everyone ultimately says their farewells, waving before they go off on their own way and you linger just a moment until everyone’s gone. It’s nostalgic to be around them, reminding you of days that seemed simpler and easier, and when you were unaware of these facts.   It’s sad to say goodbye since you don’t know when you’ll see all of them again. At one place. At one time. But at least you have Jungkook with you, so you’re far from being alone.   “Don’t worry,” Jungkook jokes around, “They’ll be back for our wedding.”   “When is that going to happen?” you scoff, looking at him and how his features are illuminated under the lampposts that you pass. You squeeze his hand in yours.    “It’s a surprise,” he answers slyly.   You grin. “And what if I reject you?”   “Then I’ll be a very sad man.”   “And if we don’t work out at all?”   “Then we’ll still be best friends,” Jungkook says and interlaces his fingers with yours. “I’ll always be here for you. Because I’m lame and I think I’ll always be head over heels for you.” He smiles wide, bunny teeth revealed and features soft. “It’s a promise.”   And one you believe in.   Luckily, you and Jungkook never split.   You end up getting married two years later with Aeri as your maid of honour and Taehyung as the best man — the brunette giving you so much anxiety with his spontaneousness that you nearly wish it was Jimin who was the best man instead. But everything ends up without too many hitches or difficulties.   It’s hectic lives that you and Jungkook lead, but ones you love.   Ultimately, the pair of you get a townhouse together halfway between the suburbs and the city. You wind up running Kim’s Wedding Cake Company with Yuna many years down the line after Namjoon and Sejeong step down to retire. And Jungkook achieves his dream of becoming a chocolatier and ends up getting silver in The World Chocolate Masters competition.    The two of you have your first child together one drunken night when you both think it’s a good idea to have sex in your sacred spot — a professional kitchen. It’s the first and last time, swearing you’ll never do it again when you’re both on your hands and knees afterwards, sanitizing the entire area for fear of losing your jobs for the violation of health codes.    But you end up conceiving that night and it’s the first of many kids — rascals with sweet-tooths.   Life with Jungkook is a mundanity you could’ve only dreamed of. And you often count your blessings that you somehow ended with such a cheeky, lovable boy.

[Epilogue]   “And that’s how I met your grandmother.”   There’s a plump toddler sitting on his knee, slobbering as he babbles, and a slightly older girl sitting cross-legged in front of him on the carpet. She’s no more than five years old and blinks up at the old man with matching doe eyes.   “So a stupid man dumped grandma and then you came in and saved her?” she asks in a high-pitched voice.   “Essentially.” The old man nods and takes off his rounded spectacles to place on the small table beside his plush armchair. It’s his special seat for story time, placed under the picture frames of you and Jungkook over the decades, from your graduation to your wedding. “We were friends first and then started to date afterwards, but yes, it’s right to say I did save her.”   “Like a superhero?”   He grins and confirms, “Like a superhero. Now, do you know what the moral of the story is?”   His granddaughter shakes her head. “No. What is it?”   “The way to a person’s heart is through the stomach,” he declares with a smile. “If they like chocolate, you make sure you’re good at making chocolate. You like chocolate, right?”   “I like grandma’s cakes!” she exclaims much to his amusement.   “What nonsense are you telling her?” You’re leaning on the doorframe leading to the kitchen, sighing lightly as you shake your head with your arms crossed.   Your hair is slowly turning gray, but you’re still as attractive — if not even more so. Jungkook always mused how much more beautiful you got the more you learnt and experienced. And he likes the wrinkles around your eyes, even when you don’t. It reminds him of how many times he’s made you laugh over the years.   “Grandma!” Your granddaughter jumps up with a big grin that’s reminiscent of a bunny. She has big doe eyes that seem to sparkle in the afternoon light shedding into the cozy home. “Grandpa was just telling me how you guys met. He said he saved you. Is that true?”   “I saved him, dear.” You pat her head gently. “Without me, your grandpa would be hopeless.”   The older man at his armchair chuckles. “That is true.”   “It’s time for lunch, you three.”   You hold up your grandson and your granddaughter skips towards the kitchen.   Jungkook staggers upwards from his seat with weaker knees and muscles that feel exhausted to the bone. He’s still in rather good shape though for just turning sixty three two months ago. Even when you constantly worry about him, he can still play catch with the kids in the backyard and put them on his back without hurting it much.   When he comes into the kitchen, the two kids are in their seats and busy already digging in. His mug that says ‘Jungkook — World’s Best Chocolatier’ sits at the corner of the fruit place mat you bought at the thrift store. The letters of the mug are worn around the edges, handle chipped at the bottom, but it’s still his favourite.   But Jungkook doesn’t sit down to eat just yet.    He rounds the table and comes to the sink where you’re humming away. He leans his arms on the edge of the counter, standing right behind you and leans in as you turn your head.   Jungkook kisses your cheek. “I love you.”   You smile, the same one he fell in love with all those decades ago when you both were still young students who knew nothing about what was to come. “I love you too.”    Much to Jungkook’s contentment, you lean into him, filling his senses with your scent as you press a soft kiss to his lips. And it’s not bitter whatsoever.   It’s sweet.

[mayonnaisetoffees]

Mayo's Fic Recs

List of my favourite fics below the cut; this list is a WIP and completely personal taste; a mix of fandom classics and lesser knowns

Please remember to leave comments and kudos for the authors and podficcers!

*shows particular favourites

Fandoms currently included: Spn, Merlin, Les Mis, BatFam

Fics That Changed Me Fundamentally

Loaded March*** by Footloose. Merlin | E | 1.26M(Series)/ 35k (First part) | 188k hits (First part)

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can’t keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn’t good enough, either. Except he is.

You can read all about my thoughts on Loaded March here, here, and here. Basically this fic series is beautifully written, has absolutely delicious UST, has found family, magic, and high stakes. It’s been part of my life for almost a decade now, I made friends through LM that I still have to this day, and it genuinely changed me as a person. Plus there are 78k of Extras to itch that I Finished Now What scratch. Parts 1-5 have been podficced and you can find them in works inspired by this one in each part.

Down to Agincourt*** by Seperis. Supernatural | E | 1.12M(Series)/ 154k (First part) | 73k hits (First part)

The world’s already over and they’re already dead. All they’re doing now is marking time until the end.

S7!Dean is transported back to the aftermath of where 5x04 The End left off. Much like LM, DtA was one that I avoided for a while. I didn’t think it would be my thing. I’m not usually into End!verse, it sounded so bleak from the summary, and it sounded so long for something I wasn’t sure about. If you’re reading this and nodding along? You are as much a fool as I was. Yes, it’s the end of the world. But it’s not over yet. This is a beautiful journey in what it means to be yourself, how to survive the end of the world, a How-To for Coups, and a study in food as a love language. I only read this fic this year, but like LM, it has genuinely changed me. Map of the World has been podficced.

Supernatural

Let’s start with the current hyperfixation. All of these are at least passively Dean/Cas unless otherwise stated. I've split into ones from my first time around in the SPN fandom and more recent ones because the vibes are actually really different and it took me some time to adjust (Not in a bad way! In a time has passed they have grown as characters way)

Old-School SPN (AKA the Classics my first time around)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Home in Motion* by nomdeplume13 M | 232k | 48k hits

Castiel swore he was done with spur of the moment decisions that permanently changed Dean Winchester's life. A year after the angel's most disastrous, his newest may present the largest challenge of dean's life: Fatherhood.

Did someone say kid!fic in canonverse? This is perfect. Canon divergence from the end of S6. Cas saves a baby from a neglectful mother and gives him to Dean to raise. They all move in with Bobby. Great OCs. Bobby considers Cas his son. Listen everything I say here will not be able to begin to encompass how much I love this fic. Just trust me on this one.

Named* by RC_McLachlan M | 95k | 95k hits

Jesus Christ is dead. Somehow, that isn't the worst part of Dean's week.

With a summary like that, need I say more? No but I'm gonna. This is one of the funniest fics I've ever read, but it doesn't take any emotion from the serious moments, if anything it heightens them. There are so many quotes from this I think about all the time. It was written in 2010 and so there's a bit of misogyny/character assassination of Anna in places.

Second Childhood by CloudyJenn (read by exmanhater) G | 16k (1h30) | 10k hits

"Dude, I can't do this whole thing by myself," Dean said with far more desperation leaking into his tone than he liked. It would just be too much to make it through hell and death and Lucifer only to have Castiel bail on him because of a frigging baby.

They beat the Apocalypse (OG-S5) and then Sam gets de-aged by a spell. I've listened to this so many times I know it by heart, it's an ultimate comfort fic to me.

Defy Any and All Expectation* by Tenoko1 (read by Tenoko1) M | 138k (14hrs) | 37k hits

Chuck's newly released books tell of another war between Heaven and Hell. Team Free Will sets out to try to defy prophecy, only to realize there is a lot more at stake and amiss than the not-quite-accurate words of one Prophet of the Lord. Along the way, Dean and Cas' relationship continues to evolve into something neither expected or were prepared for, all of their lives transforming in ways no one could have expected. But with no shortage of cases, monsters, and mayhem, it's going to require the help of new friends and old enemies if they're to have a hope of saving the world one more time. Alternate Season Six.

So this is a re-written version of Tenoko1's The Path We Choose which I don't think is around anymore. By the time I was reading the re-write as each chapter came out, I knew every single line of TPWC and it wasn't all that much shorter. It's such a perfect canon divergence because they are all 100% in-character. If you're into podfic, you already know what an absolute gift 14 hours is, but if you have never tried podfic before, Tenoko1 is a fantastic place to start. Her voice is soothing and energetic and her Cas sometimes comes to mind when I'm reading fic in Misha's place (sorry Misha)

His Fucking Kids 'Verse by 8sword M | 96k(Series)/ 3k (first part) | 26k hits (first part)

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

Emma survives and Dean and Cas are raising her and Claire. This fic series will make you laugh, make you cry, and (nowadays) make you wish Emma had survived to be a part of Wayward Sisters.

One Species Too Many by wallmakerrelict E | 22k | 37k hits

While Dean is laid up for a month after breaking his leg on a hunt, Cas decides that it's a perfect time to adopt a litter of kittens. But even though he's gotten better since Purgatory, Cas still isn't quite the same as he was before fixing Sam's head, and being trapped in a cabin with him for weeks on end is making that all the more obvious to Dean. When Sam takes off on a hunt, Dean has to figure out on his own how to navigate his new relationship with Cas while also helping to raise a bunch of fuzzballs that aren't even cute. Not even a little bit. (Well, maybe a little bit.)

Dean breaks his legs, and honey!Cas brings home some kittens to foster. It's achingly sweet and also painful because you know Dean wants to fix Cas but there's nothing to fix. It is tagged for ableism for this.

Tripping* by Hatteress E | 49k | 78k hits

That time the universe decided Dean belonged with Cas and wasn't afraid to pull out the big guns to make it so. Big guns in this case being obsessive fangirls, archangels turned tricksters and overly enthusiastic cupids. Welcome to Dean's life.

Alt!S5 and it is beautiful. Also any fic with Missouri is an automatic win.

Broadway Musical by Grifitings M | 12k | 79k hits

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle. The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at. Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

Jimmy deserves a sainthood and frankly I don't even want to hear about crack if it's not on the level of the Host yelling at Cas not to touch the butt.

Classic AUs (AKA AUs from my first time around)

Try Something Tuesday by almaasi E | 48k | 144k hits

Dean Winchester teaches a third-grade class. He's new to this whole ‘bisexual’ thing - but by pure happenstance, he meets Castiel: a particularly dapper male librarian who moonlights as a substitute teacher. Dean's curious and Castiel is willing, so why the hell not? Except, fate never intended it to be one-time-only...

This was one of the first spn fics to really really stay with me and it never really left.

Rock 'n' Roll Queer Bar by ChasingRabbits E | 127k(Series)/ 8k (Part1) | 29k hits (Part1)

Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without.

This series. If you've ever felt unsure or out of place or anxious or just really felt like no-one understood you, this fic is for you. I first found this series when I was coming to terms with my queerness and I genuinely think it was invaluable. Also I am a sucker for the go for a dinner at Cas's family and end up storming out trope.

Play It All Night Long by janie_tangerine (read by Tenoko1) NC17 | 43k (4hrs)

The rom-com-ish one where Dean hosts a late night radio show, Castiel is a regular listener of his who starts calling one day and ends up calling more often than not and Dean finds himself liking it. This, until one day Castiel calls for not exactly petty reasons (just before Dean's brother Sam is visiting with his girlfriend for spring break) and things get very, very crowdy at his place. He also doesn't know it's just the beginning of it. Also features Gabriel, Chuck, Andy, the Roadhouse crew and a huge amount of music quoted. Especially Bob Dylan.

Again, this podfic has got me through many a night of insomnia. Cas calls in after a particularly shitty day and it all goes from there.

New-School SPN (AKA post-2014)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara E | 57k | 28k hits

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says. Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away. Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

There is a reason you will see this recced time and time again. It healed parts of me I didn't know needed healing.

So Says the Sword* by komodobits E | 85k | 73k hits

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’ Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected

I saw ssts mentioned in like every single If you're getting back into the fandom READ THIS rec list. For good reason. It's described as "canon-adjacent in that seasons one to three happened exactly the same, but when Dean goes to Hell, he is not raised by Castiel". It's one of the most interesting concepts I've read and it's one of those fics where the writing style will stick with you. Castiel POV in a way you've never read before.

Aching in the Absence of You* by sobsicles E | 95k | 9k hits (in 5 days)

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back. He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales. "Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time. By nightfall, Cas is gone.

If you don't already know sobsicles, I am delighted to introduce you to the person who will smash you to pieces with a hammer to put you back together Kintsugi-style. This one is post-finale but without 15x18 (it'll make sense as it goes). Cas says he's going to leave again and again Dean doesn't ask him to stay. Full of lines so beautiful they'd make Shakespeare weep, Sobsicles has this way of writing that is so evocative and paints such a clear picture. Fair warning, if you're Dean-coded, this might be A Lot.

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)** by sobsicles E | 108k | 25k hits

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next. ~~~ Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want." "What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before." "Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out." "Easier said than done."

Yes, two sobsicles recs back to back. This one I read first and it still holds such a special place in my heart. A sign of a good fic is being able to picture it perfectly. The sign of an amazing fic is that when reading this I was so in Dean's shoes I could feel a pool cue between my hands and Baby behind my back. And I sobbed like a baby in this. It has probably my favourite ending ever. It's genuinely beautiful. If you don't read another on this list, read this one.

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara M | 52k | 14k hits

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean. (A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

The ultimate Cas character study and interwoven with poetry.

So There It Is, I've Said It All by PorcupineGirl (read by Ceewelsh) G | 4k | 13k hits

"Why, do you have something you need to say to me that you don't think I'll like?" I think I'm in love with you. "Yeah. I guess so."

Dean figures out he's in love with Cas then can't stop thinking it. This is genuinely beautiful and if you've ever had trouble actually saying the thing you're thinking, you'll relate to Dean here. I recently did the podfic for this.

you won't find this place alone by amidsizedfrog G | 9.5k |

When Claire said she was dropping out of college to pursue hunting full time, Dean said, “right,” and left the room. Or, the cross-generation conversation about formal education, choosing your own path and figuring out what it looks like to find a family. Or, in other words: "But what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-hell-attitude, and I'll figure it out." - Dean Winchester

This is a beautiful look at education in the hunter world, and I love anything that looks at Dean and Bobby's relationship and this does it perfectly. Also best cameo ever.

Seek to Know You Better by ahurston E | 33k | 23k hits

Dean and Cas, a long stretch of highway, and 36 questions empirically designed to make two people fall in love. As if they weren't already.

This is perfect. It has a lovely slow pace like it has the vibes of an indie film if that makes sense? Like it's two guys going from place to place talking. It was an instant favourite.

Newer AUs (AKA more recent AUs)

And This, Your Living Kiss* by opal_bullets M | 57k | 69k hits

Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.

When I asked which fics were absolute must-reads for someone who'd been out of the fandom a few years, this was said repeatedly. But what really got me to read it was everyone actually told me more about what it meant to them than just the summary. It's a study in poetry, a study in learning who you are and who you used to be, and a reminder that it's never too late.

The Graveyard Shift* by riseofthefallenone, PurgatoryJar E | 620k | 175k hits

Dean’s favourite coffee shop, The Graveyard Shift, is only open after the sun goes down. Which is perfect for him, because that’s exactly when he craves coffee the most while doing the overnight at the fire hall. The coffee shop’s owner is pretty perfect too, but it’s kind of a bummer that Dean never gets to see Cas during the day. In a world where the supernatural live more or less in peace with the rest of humanity, it’s a little impolite to ask Cas just what he really is - or what his dark past entails.

A fantastic magical realism fic - magical creatures live and work with humans. Gabe and Cas run a coffee shop, Dean is a fireman, and the burn is slow and delicious and the intrigue kept me reading for like a week every single spare minute.

Painted Angels by WinJennster E | 106k | 162k hits

Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing. Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.

The first part of this I actually saved back when I was first in the fandom but I never got around to reading it (I had a To Read folder of 100+ fics that I absolutely dove into when I got back into spn) and the rest of the series finished in 2016 so I'm counting it in this section not the other. On the one hand, I wish I'd read this when it first came out. It's beautiful and heartbreaking, and so visual. On the other hand, I think I appreciated it a lot more now than I would have seven years ago. The parallel of me coming back to the old fandom that I loved dearly with Cas coming back to see someone and places he loved so much really hit. (Although coming back to the spn fandom was much easier and much less heartbreak!)

Finale Fix-Its (yeah fuck you Dabb that this has to be a whole category)

The Goldenrod Revisions by aethylas M | 66k | 15k hits

A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.

Script format re-write of 15x19 and 15x20 into a 5-episode finale fix-it. As far as I'm concerned, this and chocolatecakecas's American Pie fanvid are the Supernatural finale.

break the skin (to break the barriers)* by sobsicles M | 30k | 9k hits

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment. ~~~ Dean is silent for a long, tense moment, then he gruffly says, "It's not for banishing the angels. It's to summon them. So, it doesn't—it's not to get rid of 'em, but to draw 'em in." Mitzi can't help but glance up at him at that. His voice is so heavy with so much unexplained pain, and she doesn't understand why, or what angels have to do with it. She knows religion can impact people. She's very aware that it can get complicated, and that it can be a huge source of pain for someone, but Dean sounds grievously wronged, somehow, as if it's a truly personal thing. She pushes through, focusing back on her job, clearing her throat before murmuring, "Well, I guess we all want angels to visit us sometimes." "Just the one," Dean mumbles. "Your guardian angel?" Mitzi asks. Dean breathes out, "Something like that. As close to one as an angel will ever get."

Therapy through getting tattoos and telling your life story to someone who obviously doesn't think it's real. Outsider!POV not just done well, but done literally the best.

Kingdom Come by ahurston E | 17k | 10k hits

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

I don't know if this counts as finale fix-it as it's more fuck the finale we're ignoring that. There's just so much love and care in this fic.

The Family Business by chai_lattes M | 16k | 5.5k hits

It's all over. It's been weeks since Chuck's defeat and Cas' return from the Empty. There are no threats on the horizon, no apocalypses to stop, but there's something that keeps the Winchesters from being happy. Something that's maybe always been there. On their way back from a hunt, they find John Winchester, back from the dead.

If you're anything like me, you start rubbing your grubby little hands together at the tag John Winchester's A+ Parenting like yes let's address this! This is one of the best examples of John coming back and how it jars with the life that they have built. Also Claire and Jack getting to share screentime!

Merlin

If I have a forever fandom, it's Merlin. I've always kept one foot in this fandom, and it introduced me to fandom, and most importantly to podfic which kinda had an impact. All Merthur unless stated.

Canon-Verse

Seven Magpies by syllic (read by lunchee) E | 33k (3hr15) | 58k hits

Arthur opened his eyes a minute later to the sight of seven magpies streaking across the top of the clearing, their shapes dark against the white clouds and the muted grey of the sky. He tried to remember what it was that seven magpies meant—he'd had a nurse who had sung the rhyme to him as a child—but couldn't. Arthur wakes up somewhere he doesn't recognise, but where he clearly belongs.

Okay so this is an AU but it's Canon-AU so it's going here. Fantastic role reversal fic that you will be thinking about for weeks.

and from your grace, i fell by TheDragon (read by Ceewelsh) T | 4.6k (41mins) | 13k hits

“Where’s Merlin?” he asks the maid. “Where’s that idiot of a Court Sorcerer?!” “Begging your pardon, Your Majesty. I thought you knew,” the maid replies, not daring to look him in the eyes. “He’s taken ill.” “And he couldn’t be bothered to tell me himself that he would be unable to attend today’s council meeting?” Arthur questions, voice full of acid. “He hasn’t woken since he collapsed two days ago, Sire,” the maidservant says, blissfully unaware that what she’s saying the power to stop Arthur’s heart in its tracks.

When I first read this, it had me completely transfixed. I could not stop reading. It was so raw and so full of emotion. I was then lucky enough to get TheDragon in our exchange, so I did a podfic for it and it's probably the most proud I've been of one.

Modern AU

The Student Prince* by FayJay (read by FayJay) M | 145k (15hrs) | 696k hits

A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

A classic is a classic for a reason. I'm also pretty sure this introduced me to podfics so like special place in my heart x2. Did you know if you filter AO3 by hits on Merlin, this has 426k more hits than the second result? Now that is a Fandom Classic.

Drastically Redefining Protocol* by rageprufrock (read by lunchee) E | 46k (5hr30) | 269k hits

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

As I always say, if this can happen to me and I still love the fic, nothing is going to change that. Arthur hides from his duties in a cupboard and gets stuck in there with a chainsmoking med student.

Fundamental Imperfections by Starlingthefool (read by bravenclawsome) M | 12k (1hr35) | 123k hits

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing. (Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

This fic has everything: Charles Dickens, long distance texting, Morgana choking a Sherlock cosplayer with his own scarf. This is the ultimate comfort fic and I compare all fics to this even when they're incomparable. I never read the sequel because it was WIP and I was waiting for it to complete, it hasn't been updated since 2015 and apparently ends on an unhappy note, so if you're going to read the sequel you have been warned.

Les Mis

Modern!AU

Overzealous Oddities by YassHomo e/R, Courf/Cosette/Marius, Comb/Ép | G | 6.4k | 4k hits

Courfeyrac: Remember when I smashed our tv and we laughed about it? Enjolras: No. Courfeyrac: Let me rephrase Courfeyrac: I've smashed our tv, lets laugh about it.

I love me a text fic and this is in my opinion the best one around. Just look at that summary. I have quoted that so many times.

But Paris was a very old city and we were young* by GingerNinjaAbi E/R, Courf/Jehan | M | 99k | 42k hits

Perhaps somewhere in between all the cups of coffee, shots of tequila, sunny March days, terrible lumpy jumpers, love, cigarettes, drunken nights and the desire to change the world they'll all leave Paris with a degree in something. Or not. Grantaire's money is on no. But he's a pessimist who's hopelessly in love, so perhaps his opinion shouldn't count.

The ULTIMATE modern!AU tbh.

Tagged by Salomonderiel E/R, Courf/Jehan | E | 155k | 28k hits

So there's this artist. He could probably be compared to Banksy, but he's a lot more... cynical. He shares rooms with a poet who braids his hair with flowers, in a flat near Covent Garden they rent from a short-tempered shop keeper with a penchant for fans and who'd do anything if you mentioned Poland. Sometimes, the three of them will go and deface public buildings in London whilst completely smashed off their heads. And then there's this, shall we say, 'revolutionary'. He has a band of other revolutionaries, who all meet at this cafe by Borough Market. He shares rooms with his best mate, a philosophy student, spends too much time with a flirty guy who has a thing for poets, goes boxing with a guy in a red vest, wants to punch the wet sop who drools on the blonde waitress and is getting tired of this guy who keep breaking his laptops through sheer dumb luck. Thank god the hypochondriac's there to keep an (slightly too) attentive eye on their stress levels. The revolutionary thinks the graffiti artist's work is a waste of space. The artist thinks the revolutionary's campaigns are a waste of time. And all the while, the poet and the flirt drool over each other in the background...

This is perfect and it's funny and it's beautiful and it rips my heart out multiple times.

Canon

To Be Free by kjack89 (read by Ceewelsh) Gen, Cosette/Marius | T | 3.8k (32mins) | 375 hits

Three blows from a bayonet had transfixed Combeferre’s breast, followed by a fall from the barricade as he rapidly lost first blood and then consciousness. But neither of these, it seemed, was enough to kill him, as much as later he might perhaps wish that they were.

I read this because it was on a list kjack89 did of their favourite fics which don't necessarily have the same hits traffic. It's nothing I would have usually read (canon era, not e/R, MCD) but I am so glad I gave it a go. It's a study on what if Combeferre had survived the barricades too and the guilt. This stayed with me for days afterwards until I eventually messaged kjack89 to get permission to podfic it.

BatFam

Canonish (I don't know differences between canons but these are all they're superheros fics)

Robins United by laceymcbain (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | T | 49k (6h15)/ 19k (2h25) (First part) | 103k hits

Bullets, knives, a three story fall, even a fucking crowbar hadn't managed to keep Jason down permanently, but Dick Grayson (and the rest of his "family") was going to kill him with kindness.

The ultimate batbros series. Also if you haven't heard reena_jenkins' podfics before, you are welcome. Pre-pandemic I took a lot of public transport and reena_jenkins kept me sane.

batcoons by drakefeathers (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | G | 6k (49mins) | 14k hits

Jason and raccoons have a lot in common. (Additionally: his so-called family are much bigger pests than the stray animals hanging around his safehouse.)

This is funny, it's heartwarming, and it's a really good character study.

AU

Here Comes the Sun by batsy_rocks Clark/Bruce | T | 19k | 20k hits

Clark Kent is a kind-hearted reporter working in the big city. Bruce Wayne is a stressed dad of four with no idea of what he's doing. Then they meet.

Bruce Wayne is a Tired Single Dad™. It's genuinely such a sweet fic.

[cherry3point14]

What Does The Fox Say?

Pairing: Dean x Reader Warnings: Crack. Orgy. Sex Party. Don’t let your nethers tingle, it’s barely flirting. SYNONYMS. Word Count: 2,300ish.   Summary/Prompt: There’s a case. Witches or something, and they’re killing people, specifically furries, maybe. As such one Dean Winchester goes to a furry sex party to look for clues... A/N: Written for @kalesrebellion​ “Bring On the Giggles” challenge. I think hope my synonyms for this challenge will be fairly obvious. Also, shoutout to @winchesters-meaty-feast​ who entertained my panic as this deadline loomed and pretty much talked me into birthing this ~thing. Sidenote - no disrespect to the furries who walk among us. It’s all exaggerated crack!fic. Peace and love. Yiffy on friends.

From the outside, it looks like any other two-story townhouse. There’s a car parked out front, normal mailbox, the works. Regular suburban home. The first clue that something out of the ordinary is happening inside—where the ordinary is mom, dad, and two-point four ankle-biters having dinner—is the windows. They’re all covered, curtains or blinds, it doesn’t matter. This is what it looks like when humans try to cover their tracks. Monsters choose places that are already deserted and forgotten. Humans hide in plain sight and end up sticking out like a sore thumb. Plus Dean has spent all day talking to furries about this house. Yeah, that’s the biggest clue, not the damn curtains. He’s had multiple lectures, not only from Sam but the furries, people, themselves. It’s not all about porn. They’d told him adamantly. Showed him drawings and all these things they’d made each other, and pictures from their conventions. We’re not all perverts! They could say it until they were blue in the face (they had), but Dean’s standing here looking at this house, knowing what’s inside, and it’s hard to believe the furries-are-innocent propaganda. It’s even harder to believe he’s walking in there of his own free will. The things he’ll do to save lives. Sam told him to change because “Freeze, FBI” might not go down well at this particular house party. What’s he supposed to change into? A Halloween costume? That suggestion earned him yet another talk about respecting people’s interests. Whatever. He gets it, they don’t all have full fursuit things and even the ones that do, don’t generally fuck in them, and really? Is it really fucking necessary that he knows this much about furries? At least he can put on a plain black tee and some jeans and Sam only half presses his lips together in disapproval. What is his brother expecting him to wear to a furry sex party? Cat ears? (Dean is offended by the implication even if Sam didn't say it out loud). Eventually, shuffling his feet, he makes it to the door and knocks. He doesn’t want to be here but Sam’s working another lead on the other side of town at a D&D meet up. All jokes about dungeons aside, Dean would have given up his music privileges all the way back to Kansas to switch places. Once again, scissors bit him in the ass. The door opens a few inches, enough to see, hand to god, a guy in white rabbit-ish body paint. He raises his eyebrows in Dean’s direction like he’s asking for something without saying the words. The guy definitely doesn’t twitch his nose and it definitely doesn’t remind Dean of that bunny from Bambi. Oh shit. The password. Right, because that was how you made a gathering like this more legit and less embarrassing. Dean’s throat tightens like the words don’t want to come out, or like he doesn’t want them to exist, “Yiffy Ki Yay.” Furry sons of bitches have even ruined Die Hard. The guy nods and pulls the door open enough to let Dean slide in, but not reveal too much of the clandestine activities to the outside world. Not that anyone on Maple Avenue is looking into this particular door. Either the neighbors know better or they don’t care. Although now that he’s inside Dean can see his nameless host is also wearing tall, white ears and furry cuffs on his ankles and wrists. The first of what, Dean assumes, will be many red flags that he should leave. Not that he heeds the warning. “First time?” The rabbit asks while Dean attempts to scan as much as he can see without a slack jaw. “Yeah,” he breathes out. Dean has been around the block. He’s seen the inside of more than just strip clubs. His number one use of the Internet is porn, his second? More porn. This is something else. He’s not judging, well, he's trying not to judge and failing miserably. These people aren’t hurting anyone though. In fact, someone might be trying to hurt them. Or the D&D players. They were still on the fence about how the groups were linked beside the weird deaths. Granted some of this party seems very vanilla from what he can see. He catches a glimpse of the dining room, which has been cleared of most of its furniture, and there’s your everyday orgy of mangled limbs. Those limbs happen to be a little furrier than normal is all. Thankfully not everyone is dressed as an animal. Not that anybody will be telling Sam that he was right. Some people are dotted around watching, or drinking like the sex isn’t happening, and some of the people getting involved are in plain clothes. Or, naked but not wearing any sort of animal accessory. At first glance, there’s a part of Dean that thinks he can appreciate the hedonism of it, without being bogged down by the fact that they're all cosplaying as goddamn animals. Animal enthusiasts, he corrects in his head before Sam telepathically delivers a bitch face from across town. And then he’s walking through the kitchen and there are two people nuzzling each other. People might not be the right word because they’re dressed as cats. Holding each other and stretching and bending their limbs. All feline movements and what he thinks is a purring noise, but he can’t confirm or deny because of the music coming from the cheap speakers on the counter. It might be sweet if it wasn’t in the middle of a sex party. Yeah, this is still going to take some getting used to. The rabbit is yammering, mentioning ground rules that Dean is only half listening to while he tries not to stare at the cats. He’s listening enough to follow the rules but actually, he can’t bring himself to look away from the most PC thing happening in the joint. “Did you get that because I heard the door…?” This time Floppy speaks with enough urgency that Dean snaps his focus back to the white rabbit. “Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll-” he wants to say ‘mingle’ like it’s a seventies swingers party and his biggest concern is where his car keys are. He licks his dry lips and they still feel like sandpaper, “-look around.” He does need to look around, talk to people, do his job. That’s why he’s here feeling like the spare dick at a fucking contest. Dean knows his limits though and before he investigates he's gonna need a beer.  Once he’s got a bottle in his hand, which he got from the fridge because he doesn’t trust anything that was sitting on any surface, even unopened, he starts climbing the stairs. The tinny music, the sound of bodies slapping against each other, and the low din of people talking like normal adults all fade with each step until he’s at the top. Practically not at a furry orgy anymore. Except it’s a new horrific game now. What’s behind door number one? Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembers Whiskers going on about the rules of the rooms. Lock up if you want privacy. Unlocked and shut means viewers welcome. Open doors are an invitation to play. That’s the word Thumper had used, play. The first door is locked. He skips the second because he can hear what's going on inside and even if he was in the mood to creep (he’s not), you don't walk in on the money shot. The third room is a bathroom, a stark reminder he's in a house that people live in. The fourth door he tries is blissfully empty. It looks like a guest room. Walls that are basic beige and nothing identifying. Then he sits on the bed and presses his back into the wall. He realizes this bed has probably been used for the activities he’s already seen tonight. Out of sight, out of mind. Dean takes out his phone and stares, annoyed, at the screen. Sam hasn’t messaged him, so the case isn’t solved and he doesn’t have an excuse to leave. He takes a swig of his beer and types with his free hand, trying to make an excuse. Find anything yet? Another long drag while he waits, forcing the drink down his throat in the hopes of some small semblance of dutch courage. Or in the hopes that everything is solved, so he can go back to the motel and beat his meat to hentai like a normal person. No, but this is actually really interesting. You? Dean’s fingers twitch wanting nothing more than to throw the phone against a wall. If he wasn’t obligated to text back to illustrate that he’s still alive then he might leave Sam high and dry. As it is his reply is short and simple. Nothing. He feels no need to mention that he hasn’t actually looked yet. Dean puts his phone away and throws his head back against the wall at the exact moment the door opens. She stumbles in with the ghost of a giggle on her lips. He’s expecting there to be someone following her considering the party he’s attending. Two people blundering into a room looking for a place to get some privacy. Except she’s alone and she’s not concerned to find him alone either. Her eyes widen a little but her smile is soft, “sorry, you’re not waiting on someone are you?” “Me?” He asks, concerned that he has picked up some paraphernalia along the way. Anything that might suggest he’s a part of this. She continues to wait for an answer to her question instead of answering his. “No, Nah. Just taking a breather.” “Thank god, me too.” She blows out a relieved puff of air before shutting the door behind her. In doing so she flashes him her tail. She’s a fox. Or some version of a fox. She hasn’t gone as far as body paint. Her outfit almost seems costumey rather than serious. It’s this orange mini dress—if it could be called a dress for how little it leaves to his imagination—with a bushy, foxtail attached. He hadn’t noticed her ears immediately, but now he’s seen them, there they are. Ginger and pointed on top of her head, and when she turns back to him he finally notices the little, black nose she has painted on. She sits down next to him, scoots herself on top of the sheets making them bunch under her. She doesn’t seem to care about him having dibs over the bed or room and it only takes a few seconds for him to not care either. In this close proximity, inches apart, he doesn’t see a fox, even if she is definitely dressed up as a fox. He sees bare legs crossed at the ankle, her dress fighting to contain her cleavage and the sheen of her skin from dancing. She’s holding a red solo cup, he assumes half full of alcohol considering the pink flushing her cheeks. “I’m going to take a guess,” she leans until her shoulder is pressed against his arm, “you’re either a first-timer or you’re lost.” Dean laughs because he feels lost even if his cover is supposed to be the former. “First time, that obvious, huh? Thanks for pointing it out. Real considerate of you.” She bites her lip enough to get him looking at her mouth. Thinking about her mouth. “Wolf?” “What?” “I get it, first-timers are still trying to be normal, but the dark colors and the brooding loner thing you have going on in here. A wolf missing his pack?” She brings her knees up and bends her legs under herself while she guesses. Twists her body in his direction. He can’t tell if she’s joking. It sounds half ridiculous and makes him think of the kind of wolves he hunts. Dean lies anyway, “ding ding. Tell the woman what she’s won. Or do you prefer..?” Dean waves a hand to her everything fox related as if he might seriously start using ‘fox’ instead of ‘woman’. His gesturing hand lands on her waist while the other takes another swig from his brown bottle. “‘S fine. We’re all still people underneath. I’ve got a job and everything.” She rolls her shoulders like she’s showing off for being employed, which shuffles her whole body half an inch closer to his until her knees are touching his thigh. She’s facing him, his arm still lazily, half wrapped around her as she raises her cup to her lips. “Oh yeah, what do you do, sweetheart?” He lets the syrup fall from his mouth because foxes like honey.

She laughs, the sound tinkles in the space between them. “I’m a diner chef. Nothing exciting unless you like to eat?” His tongue peeks out between his teeth, his lips smirking suggestively. “I’ve been known to enjoy a-,” Dean's eyes flick down her body to where her dress is stretching over her thighs, and then back to her face, “fur burger.” Nowhere else on the fucking planet would he get away with saying that. Only at a furry sex party. She doesn’t just smile at his line though, she hums, pleased he’s playing along, and slides a hand along the outer hem of his jeans. Fingers slowly crawling up his leg and tracing the denim.

One blink and the air is thicker, heavier, and Dean doesn’t give a shit when it happened.

Her eyes flash playfully as she finishes her drink. “Mmm, the only way to make sure a burger is done is a good thrust of a meat thermometer.” 

5eva tags: @divadinag​ @darthdeziewok​ @fluentinfiction​ @witch-of-letters​ @supernatural-teamfreewill-blog​​ @magnitude101999​ @alexwinchester23​ @jesseswartzwelder​ Dean babes: @thewinchesterchronicles​ @akshi8278​ @erins-culinary-service​ @bloodydaydreamer​ @iamabeautifulperson18​ @ellewritesfix05​

[huihuiheart]

Knight Without His Armor- D&D  Series

So going to be the first part of my Dungeons and Dragons series with Stray Kids.

Not so say this is for someone in particular, but.........maybe it is....you know who you is.....

Series Pairing: reader x Knight! Chan, reader x Dark Prince! Hyunjin, reader x Thief! Felix, reader x Fairy! Jisung

This chapter will be focused on Knight! Chan, ignore the stupid title please.....

Genre: fluff??, angst ??, smut 

Word Count: 2,278

Warnings: kinky-ish?? Not really, it's really just love making honestly..... I don’t know that there are too many warnings in this chapter cause it shouldn’t be too much. Things will certainly get much filthier and more scandalous and more bloody most likely as this series goes on. I don’t have it all perfectly mapped out yet, but anyways I have this chapter in my brain, so let’s get to it!

Next Part

Your night started as wonderful as you could have hoped for, finally having convinced the boys to play dungeons and dragons with you. Everything was already set up by the time they got over. You sat the boys Christopher, Felix, Hyunjin, and Jisung around the table, having bribed them with snacks before pulling out the latest dungeons and dragons stuff you had gotten. While being out recently, a set of dice and a D&D map had caught your eye, and with tonight coming up, you decided to get it to have something special.

The boy’s imagination went crazy with a mix of cliche and their own unique twist. Though unfortunately for you, they slotted you into the cliche part. Deeming you the prized princess as they all laugh and giggle as you rolled your eyes, but if it got them to play, then you’d put up with it for one game.

After everyone rolls once, things are going great until you roll a second time, starting to feel a little queasy. After you roll a third time, it’s noticeably worse. You tell the boys you’re going to be right back, watching Hyunjin with the dice as you move to stand as the dice hit the table, the whole world goes black as you drop to the ground, passing out.

When you come to, your eyes slowly start to blink open until you notice your surroundings and sit up with a start notice that the room you’re in is unfamiliar to you. Twice the size of your modest apartment and adorned in gold, silver, and precious gems you’d never yet seen in person.

“Oh! I didn’t mean to startle you, princess!” A familiar voice and chuckle sound through the room, and it has your head whipping towards it immediately.

“Chris? Where are we? What’s going on?” You ask, moving to get out of bed, slightly panicking still as your eyes dart nervously around.

Chan is easing you to sit back on the bed, “Easy princess, easy~ You’re safe here. We’re in your room. For now, anyways ….we were discussing our plan when you fainted, so I brought you back here.”

“W-What?…..C-Christopher enough….y-you guys are taking this too far….”You try to take deep breaths feeling like you might black out again, which proves to be too much for your brain to process so quickly.

“What are you talking about Y/N? Please calm down ….we’re going to get you out of here soon enough, and then you won’t have to worry about a thing.” Chan gently places his hand on your shoulder with a small smile, one that quickly dropped as he saw your tears, tears that came without your realizing as you registered the fact that Chan truthfully had no idea what was going on. You had always been able to tell when he was lying after all …..not that he hid it well from anyone.

“O-Okay…..j-just assume I don’t know what’s going on….I-I think I hit my head rather hard.” You tried to cover so that Chan hopefully wouldn’t get suspicious, but you needed to figure out what was going on and how to get home hopefully. At the very least, you wanted the boys back with you, all of them! You didn’t know what you would do without them in your life.

Chan sighs softly, shaking his head, “Sounds about right for you…” He mumbles softly, but his tone is worried more than anything else, the other part of it only mildly teasing,  “The dark prince….Hwang Hyunjin plans to force you to be his bride in two days so that he can take all your kingdom easily next, but he’s only going to bring bad things to your kingdom, so we have to get out and get home so that we can warn everyone of what’s to come ……I found a map to help us get home.”

You gasp, unable to help it as the map he pulls out is the exact one from your D&D game, causing Chan to look at you in shock, surprised by your reaction, “I-It’s nothing really…..anything else I need to know?”

“There’s someone who can help us…..his name is Felix…..he’s a thief and escaped the prison in this castle three times to date. They brought him in today and plan to execute him at dawn, so we’re going to unlock him, and he’ll help us out of the castle, but we have to go tonight ...are you feeling up to it?” Chan questions softly, to which you nod.

You squeak when you feel Chan pressing his lips against yours, but you gladly kiss him back. Sure he was your friend, but with how tempting a man he was, your imagination couldn’t help but wander …..quite a bit at that …

“My princess….”Chan’s voice becomes gravelly as he lays you back, “…you’re so strong. Even if it’s just for your people…” He trails off, taking your breath away as he kisses down your jaw to your neck, “Let me thank you again, my love~……and let me feel you once more before we’re on the run. Grant me that wish your highness so that if anything happens to me, I have the peace of memories with you.”

Your heart both fluttered and ached at his meaningful words, but the softness in his eyes as he asked made it impossible for you to refuse him this as you nodded through your widened eyes as you registered his change in demeanor. Chan’s eyes darkened and showed that while he was the loving man he’d been a second ago, this wasn’t going to be soft and vanilla-like you had been expecting.

Chan reaches to untie your corset back on your dress before gripping and ripping it off, “I’ve wanted to do that to this dress since he gave it to you..”He growls darkly.

“W-Who?….H-Hyunjin?” You ask softly, gulping as soon as you see the look he gives you. Realizing your mistake as his dark eyes bore into your soul, and despite thinking that you probably shouldn’t have said it, part of you was enjoying it as your wetness seeped through your panties, registering the dominance rolling off Chan.

“F-Fucking say his name while I’m taking you to bed again and see what happens, princess~” Chan nips at the shell of your ear with his threat, causing your heart to hammer in your chest as he said princess in such a tone as if to challenge you.

“Hyunjin~” You moan softly to challenge right back before what’s left of your dress is ripped to shreds by the man before you. Though you’re surprised as he gently spreads your bare thighs, the softness is the exact opposite of anything you would have expected, and you didn’t know what to make of it as he kisses up your thigh towards your panties. His eyes screamed that he was up to something, and the anticipation was driving you mad. Soon enough, you feel his teeth biting at your hips as he looks at you coyly before they move to take the fabric of your panties between them, “ Oops~ Guess I should’ve been paying more attention~” He teases smugly through your panties as he’s dragging them down with his teeth.

“F-Fucking tease~ I thought you were going to punish me~” You quip, quirking an eyebrow, and swiftly rewarded with a slap to your inner thigh.

“All with good time, love~ Though we both know that you hate when I tease the fuck out of you….so that’s a pretty decent punishment in itself too.” Chan doesn’t miss a beat, and it has you moaning. Suddenly wishing with how well this Chan knew you that you’d given your Chan permission to do this long ago. Considering how good it seemed when you had barely even been touched, mind swirling with all the possibilities of where he was going to take things tonight.

“Do you have the patience for that, Christopher?” You inquire softly, and he picks up on how your question isn’t to tease this time.

Chan hums in thought, nipping at your collarbone as two of his fingers rub through your folds to gather some of your wetness before meeting your clit in soft circles, “Not tonight, princess….not tonight...” He sighs softly though his voice sounded strained when he spoke as if it was already impossibly hard to hold back.

“C-Chris….”You moan softly, eyes fluttering shut to which he growls softly into your ear in disapproval.

“Don’t you close those eyes, princess…” Chan demands fingers leaving your clit to slap your thigh again before they return to your core, slowly dipping into your sopping entrance, “…want you to keep your pretty little eyes on me….want to remember who was the one to make you feel like this.” He continues, fingers carding through your hair before gripping the back of your head and lifting it so that you could watch his fingers disappearing inside of you. “Watch what I’m doing to you~”

Chan’s eyes also trail down to the sight of his fingers thrusting oh so slowly into your core, your soft moans and whimpers music to his ears as he ingrained each one into his memory.

“C-Christopher please~” You plead softly on the brink of insanity at his teasing, the sight before you proving to be too much when coupled with it, “I-I need you to fuck me now, please~”

Chan slaps your hand away as it starts to rub his bulge through his pants, “Hands off, love~ This is about you feeling good. Until you cum you aren’t getting my cock….and don’t think I’m going any faster.~” The full scope of your punishment is revealed though he does show a sliver of mercy knowing you wouldn’t likely cum just from his teasing thrusts, and while he doesn’t speed up, his fingers thrust into you harder, curling deliciously with each thrust, thumb pressing against your clit. His other hand still holds your head to watch each action against your pussy. Taking satisfaction in each cry that left your lips leading up to your orgasm, moaning himself feeling the way your core clamps down around his fingers so tightly when you cum. Pulling them away to suck clean, he gently lays your head back down again and moves, to quickly get his suddenly extremely constricting clothes off as well.

Your whines draw his gaze back to you, smirking when he realized that your impatience is due to seeing his bare skin, “Don’t worry princess, you’re going to get what you want, and as long as your eyes are on me like a good girl then it’s not going to go anywhere.” He assures softly, before taking his place over you again, teasing his tip through your folds before suddenly pushing entirely inside of you with a moan.

“C-Christopher!” Your squeal, coupled with your nails raking down his back only encourages his actions, not giving you time to adjust as he relentlessly thrusts into you. He presses his forehead to yours softly in contrast to the way his hips meet your thighs in bruising contact, while his hands keep them spread as wide as you can take. Chan’s hips were moving so sinfully, yet his eyes held a softness….the teasing side still there as well as he kept his lips just out of reach from you.

“I-I don’t think so, love….you’re going to give me every little sound and every facial expression that I’m fucking out of you. Y-You can get all the pleasure you want if you just give that to me.” He promises, his hands leaving your thighs to pinch and pull on your nipples. Gentleness barely there is his full focus is on flooding your senses with as much ecstasy as he could, eyes focused on every tiny detail of his face, to see how it’s changing with each stroke of his cock against your walls or touch to your nipples. Until he’s decided he’s had enough patience even for this situation, and he’s moving his hips, angling them to hit the spot that would have you seeing stars. The knot in your stomach impossibly close as he knew would be the case when he started to thrust the way he was now, yet, he also knew that there was one more thing he could add to give you that sweet release in the best way possible. His thumb finding your clit and sending wave after wave of your high wracking through your trembling body, barely keeping enough sanity to keep your eyes open for him as had asked of you. You’re glad you did, though thinking, that if you ever get the chance to fuck Bang Chan again, you’ll have to will yourself to keep your eyes open for the godly sight of Chan cumming for you. His thrusts get sloppy as he rides you both through your highs, body glistening in the sunset light flooding through the window against his form as sweat beads on his skin from your activities. Best of all …. his head thrown back in a grunty moan being ripped through his throat, the sound raspy and growly, and you could see it coming before you heard it. Chan panting softly afterward, leaning down to give you a heated yet exhausted, breathless kiss before pulling away to get a damp cloth to clean you.  

“Rest up, princess, I’ll get everything prepared and wake you a bit into the night when it should be safe to go.” Chan kisses your forehead now, tucking you in as you start to doze off already, “We’ll meet up with Felix and get to safety then…don’t you worry, my princess.”

[rivenroad]

I’m not really into raiding any more, I just kinda want to level a bunch of characters and chill in any game that I play, but comparing the endgame systems in XIV and WoW is interesting regardless. I can’t comment on what any of the previous WoW expansions were like because obviously I didn’t play during any of them, but for Shadowlands... There are a lot of different systems for gearing up and so on, augmenting yourself beyond just plain gear upgrades. Covenants are a really cool idea, I like being able to gain additional skills and enhancements through conduits or even gear sets and trinkets. XIV is very stable and predictable by comparison. Gear is always very straightforward and there’s no real customisation of classes, in fact we’ve moved steadily further and further away from that as time goes by. I understand the reasoning for it, and I still find the game really fun regardless but it would be nice to see more variation.

On the other hand, I feel like WoW might actually be taking these things too far at the moment. There is so much to do when you hit level 60 to gear yourself for raids, which is fine on a single character, but I can tell that if I wanted to raid on multiple classes, keeping up with everything across multiple alts would be... way too much work. I commend the game for how alt-friendly it is overall but I think I’m more than satisfied to be way behind, just farm old content when I massively out-level it.

This is a point I’ve noticed across the game in general: it doesn’t feel like it respects your time. Sure, MMOs always have an endless amount of stuff to do but I can really feel in WoW the kind of game design that is made to keep you playing constantly, not just every day but for a long time in each session, because there are always things coming up to spend your time on. It’s very good at setting up a trap that you sink hours into. Sometimes, this is actually very fun and enjoyable, but it’s also very, very easy to get burned out on it. As I just mentioned this is a problem with all kinds of MMOs but... I always think of Yoshi-P saying that he would even encourage people to unsub and take a break between major patches and come back when there’s new stuff to do, rather than force people to keep playing constantly without a break, and I think the attitude to this is reflected in each game’s design. WoW seems to keep constantly trying to throw more and more stuff at you to do and as a result I tend to find it more tiring over a certain span of time than I would if I were playing XIV instead.

And often, it tends to result in there being a huge amount of Stuff going on that I don’t want to do because it’s so much effort for so little reward. A lot of the current end-game has potential but ultimately falls flat for me for this reason. The Maw is just not enjoyable in the slightest. I get that they wanted to push the feeling of it being a challenging environment but it’s just fucking dark and grim and I don’t get much satisfaction from it at all. It’s not a surprise that I enjoy the concept of Torghast because I love PotD and they are very similar, but I don’t really want to do it because it’s just so gloomy and dark and not even in a fun way like Revendreth. If they’d done something like, a tower with different floors based on the different zones of Shadowlands, as is the theme with most other stuff in the expansion, that would have been really cool, but the gameplay is not good enough for me to carry how monotonous it is in theme. I’m aware that BfA was extremely unpopular due to its endgame and made a lot of people quit for good, but funnily enough it’s actually one of my favourites because I enjoy the environments, the stories and the experience of simply being in the zones a lot. It really makes a difference.

I have been vicariously living through watching raiders stream, since a world first race happened to be going on at the moment, and I was really curious about it how it differs from XIV raiding. I gotta admit, even though I don’t really raid any more regardless, I don’t think I’d enjoy WoW raiding. WoW has some really cool dungeons and raids - I may not have seen much of the current ones, but I’ve gone through a lot of older ones from all the past expansions and there’s some really fun and impressive design. I can see exactly why it became so popular and why people hold particular expansions in high regard because of it. The more recent ones seem more linear, but even they still feel interesting and open and have a variety of mechanics in them that sets them apart from the now very rigid overall structure of XIV’s dungeons and raids. 

However, I enjoy the way XIV’s encounters work more, because it’s basically like learning a dance in a set sequence. It’s very satisfying and fun to learn and execute correctly. I’m also not keen on the ubiquitous use of add-ons for WoW’s raiding, which for both games is a complicated issue I don’t really want to delve into right here, but in short a soft requirement to modify the base game UI and have an add-on that tells you exactly what to do all the time is not my thing.

I also find the faster pace of WoW’s combat kind of overwhelming. Just a personal preference thing, I guess - it’s fun to execute when you know what you’re doing, for sure, and maybe if I was playing it as a 16-year-old or something which is the kind of age many people seem to have started playing the game at I would feel differently... or maybe if I wasn’t so used to XIV, I don’t know. But the pace of it is too much for me.

[reflectionsofacreator]

The first thing that really stuck out to me is the subtle difference of the Animus between Ezio and Altair. Altair’s Animus is a brown tint, whereas Ezio’s is blue. It’s a tiny thing, but when you get down to the intimacy of the confession screen, and the fact that we’re inside an Animus inside an Animus, it’s an interesting layer of character. 

This got hella long, so under the cut it goes. 

So this is something that’s touched upon if you read Abbas’ database entry, but otherwise not at all. Altair’s father, Umar, was betrayed by Abbas’ father, Ahmad, and was executed. Ahmad, wracked with guilt, snuck into Altair’s room, confessed to betraying Umar, and then slit his own throat. Altair was only around ten or eleven when this happened, and it traumatized him rather deeply. Ahmad asked Altair not to tell Abbas, and Altair tried to keep it a secret, as Al Mualim had advised. Altair told Abbas, struggling under the weight of the secrets, and seeing Abbas torn up over his father’s death. Abbas said nothing, and it wasn’t until the next day that Abbas challenged Altair to a ‘practice’ duel, only using real swords. 

Abbas attacked Altair, calling him a liar, and eventually managed to get his knife under Altair’s throat, yelling loudly that Altair had lied about his father’s death to shame him. To keep his throat, Altair “admitted” he had lied, and the two were locked up in the dungeons after the commotion was heard by the instructors. Altair only spent a month in confinement, whereas Abbas had to spend an entire extra year training, per Al Mualim’s orders. 

Abbas, even now, is still consumed with grief over his father, and loathing for Altair. These two were best of friends as children, only for the weight of what Ahmad had done driving a wedge between them that sparked a hatred for Altair. Abbas is, or was, convinced that Altair was the source of all of his problems, despite himself being the perpetrator for most of them. 

Sighs. I don’t particularly ... buy it. It feels cheap somehow, in a way that I can’t really articulate very well. Perhaps I’m just not the sort of person that can hold onto hatred for a lifetime, so therefore I can’t really understand it. I also don’t have a good relationship with my father, so the idea that a character holding onto their father’s death their entire life just ... feels off. But I don’t think that’s why it feels odd to me. 

I think it’s actually more because as a concept, Abbas being Altair’s lifelong villain just ... doesn’t jive well, doesn’t have enough screen time to really justify and bring it home. The whole thing feels hollow, and more like an outline of a full story than an actual arc and narrative. There wasn’t enough time spent with Altair to make this feel like an actual problem for him, or that Abbas was just a threat, it was more of a “this sure is happening, isn’t it?” sort of thing to me. We also didn’t really get any sense of how Altair felt about Abbas, and Abbas’ hatred of him. It kinda felt as though all this stuff happened to Altair, not that he was an active participant with his own life. 

I had kinda figured that Altair’s whole sequence/concepts were kinda thought of more of as an afterthought, and I recently learned that I was sort of right, via some wiki hopping. According to Darby McDevitt, the narrative director for AC Revelations, Black Flag, Embers, and the new Valhalla, “Altair wasn't even supposed to be in Revelations until [he and Alex] decided to revive him at the last second. :)”. Admittedly that might be taken a bit out of context, considering the thread is talking about how Ezio had three games because he was “Universally well received”, and how each new character is a risk of investment vs money spent. 

Because of how late in development the decision was, I get the sense that Altair’s extremely short sequences, the lack of fleshing out of stories, and awful narrative shortcuts, were a result of that. Fuck, this is the fourth of five keys, and we haven’t heard anything about Malik, who was The major supporting character in ac1, save for a throwaway line in the 3rd key that he was executed by Abbas. It’s just... poorly executed, imo, and it doesn’t actually feel like this is Altair’s life, or the logical extension of the sort of character we saw in ac1. 

That being said, these flashbacks need to have some kind of narrative thread, a sort of overarching plot to tie them all together. Quite simply, story structure wise, it’s smart for them to create Abbas to be a lifelong villain to Altair, if only so that you can justify having a plot that spreads across his life. I’m not a fan of it, but I can see the reasons why Abbas exists, especially so late in development. But I also feel as though it’s ... well, again, it’s a narrative shortcut. 

Like... as a creator, I can see why they did this. It’s always interesting to see characters in new contexts, and when they realized they had the chance to maybe show more of Altair’s story, or have at least a small opening for it, they probably jumped on it. But as a consumer, as a writer? I don’t agree with this. It’s narratively weak, it has issues with characterization, and ultimately isn’t satisfying, at least not to me. The time spent with these Keys and characters isn’t enough to justify the emotion they’re trying to pull from the audience, there’s barely any time to really get to know these people, the situation. And like, because there isn’t enough time, they relied on shortcuts to try and elicit emotional reactions out of the players, by killing Maria, by killing Sef, by doing a bunch of shocking things instead of actually giving it some weight. 

Please don’t misunderstand, I don’t have a problem with character death. But you have to care and know about the character for that death to have any impact, and like... We didn’t even see Sef, now did we? One of Altair’s sons, the son who’s bloodline would lead to Desmond, and we don’t even know what he looked like. 

Overall though, I’m actually rather happy with this particular sequence -- the fourth key is solid from start to finish, and I feel as though it’s actually a good conclusion to this arc revolving around Abbas. I kinda felt like, warm and fuzzy, a little bit, and it was a good thing to see him inspiring so many younger assassins. 

There’s still one more key to find, so we’ll see how this works out. 

[rekkingcrew]

Campaign Debrief

So for nearly 2 years I ran an Edge of the Empire campaign with 3-4 players, mostly weekly. These last couple of months we’ve been using discord, which has gone great. I want to get down some of my thoughts about what worked and what didn’t. 

This is gonna be a big wall of text and all but two bits are gonna be under the cut: system and play style. 

Fantasy Flight Star Wars game system is legit my favorite system EVER. (Not to dick wave or anything, but that’s including D&Ds 2-5, Gurps, White Wolf, Blades in the Dark, Dungeon World, Deadlands, and a few miscellaneous other short form ones). The system of advantages and disadvantages, and especially triumphs and despairs rather than just straight successes and failures really opens up complex narrative opportunities and gives a chance for wild story beats that just would not have happened otherwise. The fights go fast but feel meaty and there’s a lot of room to pitch advantages to your friends so you’re not just waiting your turn. Character creation is granular enough that your choices always feel meaningful, and points can be spent anywhere, so you can really specialize and shape your character. 

We played very collaboratively and it made things AMAZING. Part of this is that we were all good friends and have played together for a while now. Our taste in what kind of story we want is similar- nuggets of drama scattered throughout, but mostly cutting up. A lot of the best NPCs and story suggestions came from my players rather than from me- our season one boss villain, Imperial spymaster “Uncle” Karston Severax, a pantoran ex-special forces black operative whose current public face was a Mr. Rogers-esque children’s TV presenter, for example, was someone my players started out and all of us collective “yes and” added to around the table, and he was JUST THE BEST. These kind of exchanges also gave us moments like the time our tech tried to blackmail the head of a security corporation with the fact that he was having an affair and he’d written just LOADS of incredibly cringey fanfiction; but the roll was such that the attempt ended with him finally getting the push he needed to quit a job he hated, get out of a marriage that just wasn’t working, and follow his dream of self-publishing. He even dedicated his first book to our slicer. Because it wasn’t a DM vs Players atmosphere, because we were all on the same page, I could ask my players “hey, what do you want for your triumph?” and “all right, so who is the NPC you know?” as well as just “that’s enough to finish this guy, what does this look like?” This campaign was 1000% better for sharing that world building load, and the players were all, I think, more invested. 

more below the cut. 

What Worked

One of the most useful things I ever did was start giving players morality pet NPCs that were their special hench people, and I’m embarrassed that I waited so long to assign one to our droid. 

The zero session was absolutely invaluable in setting the tone of the game and the relationship between characters, and I will bang this drum until I’m fucking blue in the face. Don’t meet in the first session. Sit the players down and say “how do you know each other, why do you stay together, what are some of your past adventures?” It’s just so much better. 

Cameos and ties to our other games, in what we’ve been calling “The Drax Kreiger Expanded Universe” have continued to be welcome pretty much every time. People were delighted to have a moment or two to slip back into old characters. 

I was able to identify what each player wanted and give them that. Brick’s player wanted quiet scenes with big character emotion, like his one on one pit fight the character didn’t want to have, or the letter from his mother telling him how proud she was of him, or the time in training where he tapped into how angry he really was and it spooked the character and everyone on the ship. Nyla’s player wanted a big epic, but also difficult space journey of good vs. evil, and so Nyla got a padawan whose parents she had possibly killed when she fought for the empire, she dug up the grave of her clone teacher’s order 66′d jedi for the crystal for her lightsaber, she got to cleanse a temple that was trapped in a fruitless struggle between light and dark, and a climactic lightsaber battle that was about possibly sacrificing herself for the good of others. TK’s player was deep into star wars trivia and space stuff, so he practically squealed when Verpine shatter weapons showed up, and he seemed to get a kick out of the Evocii, and also that time they put on wing suits and dove the atmosphere of a gas giant. It’s worth noting nobody was actually all that interested in the thing that turns my gears: complex mysteries with a lot of clues and investigation, and once I let that shit drop, things ran a lot smoother. 

Some of our best stuff was non-combat challenges, like climbing the cliffs of Naboo or navigating the deep undercity of Nar Shadaa. The guys reliably failed anything social, but environmental challenges were always appreciated. 

I always tried to make sure there was more than one way to do things. For any given mission, especially early on, I’d try to brainstorm at least three ways something could be accomplished. 

My party split up a LOT, but we found a sort of cinematic cutting back and forth to be really useful. When there was a big crit, or a goal accomplished, or something like that, we’d jump to the other party even if the fight wasn’t over. Sometimes that was only just, like, Brick and the guys doing drunk karaoke and saying to no one in particular “MAN, I hope Nyla’s having as fun a time as we are!” but it kept everyone involved and it wasn’t just people waiting their turn for 20 minutes at a time. Also people chimed in with fun advantages and disadvantages. 

I had everybody write backstories and whenever I could, I incorporated in things from what they’d written. Our second season was basically TK tracking down the guy who’d made him, a Thackwash alien with the same sort of shifting personalities he had. TK’s player hadn’t written much about the guy except that he’d been a salvage mechanic who constructed TK for protection when he got in trouble with the local mafia. Giving that guy complementary personalities for each of TK’s really helped stick the landing on that one, and the player really enjoyed having actually completed his character’s goal. 

It’s worth saying, we took some time at several points during the campaign, either individually or as a group, to talk about what we liked and didn’t, what we wanted more of, where we wanted things to go, possible directions for characters, mechanical issues, how to have a better game, group dynamics, all sorts of stuff. In a way it’s like sex: people have this fucked up expectation that you’ll just be good at it without communicating, and man, fuck that. Talking to my players was ALWAYS worthwhile.

I was always adamant, because it was a thing that bugged me when I was a player, that if a character had spent the points to be good at something, they got to be good at it. That made some things difficult, but I think it was the right decision. It took me a while to tailor fights right, and honestly a lot of times, splitting up the party was the best way to balance fights, but I never said to anyone hey that thing you spent all those points on, could you please not do that?

My players were excellent about encouraging each other to have serious dramatic moments. TK was completely ready to die in a fight, and when he lost a significant chunk of his programming, the way he chose to play it was really heartbreaking. Everyone came inside and had tea with Brick’s mom. No one stepped on anyone else’s fun when it was time to be serious, and everybody was great about cheering each other on, whether they were being funny or being dead serious. 

I FUCKING FINISHED A CAMPAIGN. IT HAD AN END. So much stuff petered out over the years, I was adamant I wasn’t going to do that. 

What Didn’t Work

Boy, my players had pretty much all the trouble trying to remember to use “they/them” pronouns for NPCs with neutral or alien genders. 

No one is interested in falling damage. Sigh. 

I did not keep good track of money or ship fuel or anything. The campaign didn’t end up relying on it too heavily (I was honestly expecting a much more Cowboy Bebop setup than where we drifted), but that was an area I kind of fell down. 

We never really got obligation working correctly and in the end we just ended up abandoning it. We kept doing the force morality because the lone force player was very into it and it was a huge part of that character’s journey, but for the rest having people show up to collect on obligation was sometimes not possible in the story- or if it was possible it was pretty cumbersome. Campaign did obligation by arc, and I think that’s a pretty useful way to do it- roll at the end of the arc for what’s coming next. 

Early on, I made way too many assumptions about what was an adventure hook for my players and what was an annoyance. Honestly, bits of this lasted pretty late. At one point I gave my players a spy for the larger rebellion they could totally talk to- he was even working with their resident bothan spy- but they looked at the senatorial assassination he was doing and literally said at the table “I think it’s best if we just walk away from all this.” And so they did. Which was frustrating, but, you know, it is what it is. They also never much cared about the hutt gang war. 

I let a lot of things drop that I would have liked to bring back before the end, but in all honesty, I think we were all running a bit out of steam. I would have liked to put in Brick’s old mentor, or follow up with the imperial governor that was a falleen in a human skin suit, or see more of the bounty hunter’s guild, or have a nice end thing with our bothan spy, or any of that. But I do think it was time to end it. And we followed the threads people liked. 

I had way too many NPCS.

What sort of worked

I had like 200 npcs and they were not all bangers. In particular, I let the party design their own ship, which I wish had played a bigger role (though it did really set the tone), and I let them design 2 npc crew who would fill in any party roles they didn’t want to play and guard the ship so they could go on adventures without worrying about it. The devaronian scoundrel was with the party to the end though I never really got him to be more than a joke, but the bothan spy kind of fell off, and while she made some appearances, she didn’t really have as big an impact as I would have hoped. She kind of got replaced by Nyla’s padawan, a hench mon calamari called Nezrene, who was a better fit with the party. But, you know, players will do what they like.

Factions. In the first bit of the campaign, my factions were a fucking life saver, because I could design scenarios with a sort of “what is each faction doing/ which faction hurts from this, which benefits?” By the second season we’d kind of abandoned them to go to the core, and by the third my group was solidly rebel, so the hutts and bounty hunters fell a lot by the wayside. I still think having a couple of broad poles of power, and having the players know them and their leaders, is a good call. But they do seem to kind of organically pare down on their own, and it’s easy to get caught up too much in them. Useful sorta?

There was definitely a point where my players just were not challenged by conventional challenges. We ended up doing most of the later fights that involved a lot of minions in montage. I’d have them roll their fight skills unopposed, just to see if they got any interesting advantage/triumph set ups. I still had boss fights that were mostly challenging, but there just was no point in throwing storm troopers or low level gangsters at them. Not when they have soak 8 and autofire, and that one talent that lets you kill every minion in a combat. Designings fight got a bit tricky, and in those big high level combats, despairs and triumphs come up a lot more and really sway the fight, which I like, but also it’s very hard to plan for. 

Mass combat was tricky. I did a lot of it toward the end because my players were generals in a rebellion. I always had them do the rolls and some of the narration, but that wasn’t always enough to make them feel like things weren’t very arbitrary. 

I personally love the rule that if you roll a despair shooting into an engaged combat you shoot your friend. Nyla, who got shot twice this way, does not. 

We started the game with a tech character who dropped out. Toward the end, we picked up another tech character whose player couldn’t do their regular stuff because of covid lock down. Neither of these characters could fight at all, and both were very differently oriented than the rest of the party, and that was tricky to manage. Additionally, the dude coming in at the end had like a year and a half of in jokes he did not get and there were 200 goddamn npcs. I tried to give him the lowdown on what he might have heard about the party, but it was a combination of too much information and not that much player interest. He did get to break a star destroyer though, and I think he liked that. 

I offered players XP to write backstory stuff, and later goodbye notes others could find if they kicked it. Not all of them did. In the end it made a negligible difference, and I still think offering the bounties on this is basically a good idea. 

What I would do different next time.

Three ring binder that opens and closes so I could move fucking NPC stats around. I filled two goddamn school notebooks with notes for this campaign and there were so many goddamn times I was like “I KNOW I wrote this down, but where?!”

Players felt a bit aimless when they didn’t have a specific villain. I’d planted a few in, but they took finding, or they were too easy to avoid. Next time I would have a few more people who were actively on my player’s tails. 

I would keep better campaign notes and/or ask one of the players to do so. I used to do recaps for the games when I played Rek. There’s stuff I KNOW I’ve forgotten, and more I’ll forget as time goes on, which is a shame. It’s a weird, ephemeral medium, but possibly I’m just spoiled by living in an age of easy reproduction and enormous storage where data is concerned. 

Better book keeping in general, really. 

When I did a mystery short, I wrote up a list of all the clues people could find but not where specifically they were, so that I could just jam them anywhere they seemed like they’d make sense whenever a roll called for a player to find something. I think I’d try to do that with player’s personal stories so they could be woven in a little better. I did a lot of flying by the seat of my pants. 

All in all, I’m pretty happy with how it went, and I’m ready to get back to playing for a bit. I loved DMing, and I more or less DMed the game I would have liked to play, but man, doing this all the time, or being the only person who does it? After a while, that’d be a lot, and I’m looking forward to the break. 

[heyktula]

Closer, Chapter Three: Consensual - Bonus Features

Chapter three of Closer, the first installment in Somewhere in Canada (the Terror kink AU)... is now up! It's a long one again! The author continues to not be sorry!

Same deal as last week--technical notes first, story notes after, line notes to finish it all up.

Alright, here we go.

Technical Considerations:

Language: Phew, okay. So, I've written plenty of "hard kink written hard" (and arguably some "soft kink written hard"), but with this piece, I specifically wanted to do "hard kink written soft" so, uh, language is a thing! Ie, the sentence "Edward curled his hand into a fist and punched Jopson" does not belong in this fic, because there is nothing soft about that sentence no matter how much Edward loves him positive regard Edward is feeling toward his play partner.

So in order to make this fly the way I wanted to (ie, softly), I tried to avoid over-use of words like "fist", "hit", "punch", and that type of thing. I ended up in a really interesting rabbit hole that I think helped me get further into Edward's head, because the narrative had to become more focused on the technical aspects of what he's doing, and the physical results it's having on Jopson. It also emphasizes the continual assessment of how things are going that's necessary to do this kind of play safely--especially when it's the first time doing this type of play with a partner. And, it's in-character--Edward is an over-thinker anyway.

(I think the scene would have been softer, and probably more romantic, in Jopson's POV, but it would have been far blurrier as well, because he's pretty deep in subspace.)

While I'm talking about language, I'll just mention one other thing--Edward's knowledge of trans men has been academic up to this point, and he's approaching it the same way he approaches everything else, which is listening, learning as fast as he can, and taking Jopson's lead. It also means he's using--and will continue to use--the same language for Jopson as he would for any other man.

Capitalization of Sir: There's a whole entire thing in some subsets of BDSM about capitalization. At the extreme end, all references to the dominant are capitalized, all references to the submissive are lower case, and all references to both are split-capped (is that how it's referred to? I have no idea, but it describes what I mean, so I'm going with it.). It can lead to sentences like "In the dungeon, My pet, michael, always follows the rules W/we have agreed on".

I can't see either Jopson or Little going for that, so we have the more casual version of it going on here--"Sir" is capitalized, but everything else is conventionally capitalized. In a (hypothetical) situation where Jopson was collared to Edward, but referred to someone else in a casual "yes, sir" way, "sir" would be lower case. But then, for extra confusion, for someone like Sir John, where the sir is part of his scene name, it'd stay capitalized, even though Jopson's not collared to him.

(For some reason, I can't picture Sir John not using Sir John as a scene name. James Clark Ross, on the other hand, I feel can take or leave the title unless he's entered into a formal arrangement with someone, in which case that's between him and Ann and whoever else to sort something out.)

Hard Cuts: That's right, I put a hard cut in the middle of the dungeon scene. In my defense, it takes a while to bruise someone whose skin is resistant to bruising, and it's a very repetitive process. Jopson and Edward had a perfectly nice time without us, and I documented most of the good bits for you. (I do feel a bit bad for skipping the majority of the aftercare, but imo, the story arc is fine as it is, and we see enough to know that Jopson has his jacket around his shoulders the way he wanted it, so we can assume Edward bossed it out for the rest of the aftercare too.)

Story Considerations:

Bootblacking: I am not a bootblack. Ideally, this isn't obvious, because I did Online Research, but for people who do bootblack, I'm sorry if I fucked it up.

Also, one thing that I learned in the course of my research is that there's two different kinds of boots--regular boots, which need to be polished, and then oil-tanned boots, which need to be conditioned instead. I gave Edward oil-tanned boots, because that involves a hell of a lot of leg massage via rubbing conditioner into the boot, and I wanted Edward to have a nice tactile experience. (Okay, fine, I also wanted Jopson to be able to show off his skillset.)

Consent Negotiation: I love consent negotiation. I think it's great foreplay, a great way to build hype for a scene, and I think it gives you a sense of a person before you go in and do intimate and/or dangerous stuff with them. I think Edward's initial plan for having the consent negotiation once they'd moved over to the mats was good. I think Jopson's plan of doing the consent negotiation while Edward was a captive audience getting his boots conditioned was better.

There's so many bits and pieces to consent negotiation as well--there's the physical bit (like medical conditions and whether you've had food/water recently--after all, you're putting your body through something challenging, and if you're dehydrated or fasting, that's not ideal conditions), there's the mental bit (like not liking to be humiliated, and any trigger words or actions that should be avoided), and then there's the actual activities that you're going to plan on doing. Typically, there would be an additional bit, and that would be the sharing of STI results. Edward skipped that during this negotiation for two reasons--firstly, he generally just does dry play, ie, no body fluids exchanged. And, secondly, no sex in this particular dungeon. As it turned out, it wouldn't have hurt to have done that.

(Jopson clearly did his own risk assessment on the barrier-free blowjob, and was fine with his chances--but, then, I suspect if you read between the lines on Edward's blog, the lack of a fluid-bonded partner, or an intimate partner of any kind, would have been apparent.)

Dungeon Monitors: Dungeon monitors (DMs) are present in most dungeons, except the play-at-your-own-risk-in-someone's-basement type (and sometimes even those have them). Their general function is to make sure that people are safe, that equipment is being cleaned properly after use, that medical treatment is provided if it's needed, and that type of thing. I figured the medical team was a good translation, so between Goodsir and McDonald, they're splitting the dungeon between themselves for the first chunk of the night. (Presumably Peddie and Stanley are on the later shift, or maybe Bridgens is assisting, but either way, Edward was not paying attention and did not care.)

(I bet Stanley hates dungeon shifts.)

DMs generally wear vests or some sort of gear that makes them easy to spot, which is especially important when they're almost always members of the community as well, meaning that they need to distinguish between when they're on duty, and when they're playing. The radios are handy in case an ambulance needs to be called, which does sometimes happen, but it's also good to allow them to communicate with each other.

For the majority of play, it's not necessary to talk to a DM beforehand. (YMMV, consult your dungeon rules, etc.) In Edward and Jopson's case, since they're going fairly hard, it's a good idea to give a heads-up to your DM to let them know that the scene is happening. McDonald would have been watching them pretty sharply as the play got going, and then probably less so once they settled into it.

Edward noticed exactly zero of this, because he didn't care.

(I guess an additional note there is that sometimes there's a "fear factor" involved in physical play, where the dominant/top partner is specifically and consensually trying to instigate a fear reaction in the submissive/bottom partner. So in that case, having a DM aware of what's happening and what the safewords are is real important to make sure that everything is above-board, ie, the safewords aren't being deliberately ignored.)

Dungeon Rules: They totally would have fucked if they hadn't been in Canada.

Sorry to both of them, but sorry to Jopson in particular.

Subspace: So subspace is basically an altered state of consciousness that can be dropped into during BDSM play. Every submissive/bottom gets there at different speeds and through different methods. Jopson is a masochist, so pain will get him there--but he's deeply into ritual as well, and so just the act of bootblacking for an hour prior to Edward getting there has already gotten him started on that path--though, as he notes, not far enough that he can't pull himself back out of it if it's no longer appropriate to be in it. It's sort of like a hot bath, in that way--if you've just dipped your toes in it, fine, you can go answer the doorbell. But if you've been submerged in the tub for an hour, you're not getting out unless something really pressing happens.

The general, uh, fuzzy nature of subspace means that Edward's call not to discuss facefucking was a good one, because Jopson would have just said yes, and Edward would have derailed himself wondering if it was an honest yes. As it was, Edward got the unprompted deepthroating, and I don't think he has any regrets whatsoever about that one.

Line Notes:

There’s no way for Jopson to know that Edward purchased two collars for him, but he’s showing off his neck like he’s trying to make a point of it, like he’s trying to bring out all the possessive bits that Edward is trying to keep tamped down.

That's exactly what he's doing, Edward. He's trying to gently coax you into going feral on him.

He should have adjusted his dick before he sat down, but it’s too late to do that now without being territorial about it.

Tozer wouldn't hesitate for one moment. He adjusts his dick when he feels like it. Just as an aside.

I don’t see you, Edward wants to say. How have I lived my entire fucking life without ever having seen you?

It's because you and Tozer go to the shittier clubs with louder music and younger people, and I don't think Jopson has been to a club like that in his entire life.

(God, I have, like, an entire essay worth of headcanons about Jopson and his Terror and Erebus experiences.)

“Safeword,” Edward says, after some time has passed.

Jopson looks up at him, eyes wide, and says nothing.

So, we were talking about Jopson's risk assessments earlier, re: the blowjob, and here's another point where Jopson is flirting with the possibility of playing with Edward irresponsibly.  I think there's a couple different things to observe here--and the first is that the ideal response is the one that Edward gives, which is essentially "absolutely fuck that, we'll play with a safeword that you're going to use when you need it, or we won't play at all". The other responses are...less than ideal, but Jopson might have still played with Edward under those circumstances anyways, and that's on Joppie to justify, cuz I'm not gonna bend over backwards to justify that for him. I do think, though, that there's a couple points that happen over the course of the weekend where nobody would blame Jopson if he was doing an assessment and figuring out--is there the possibility of a long-term thing here, or is this a one-weekend-only thing? And in every case, Edward is coming down solidly into the long-term possibility category.

Jopson frees the laces, runs them between his fingers. “I’ll get chatty before I get quiet. When I stop responding verbally when you speak to me, pull me back out, please—speak to me, get me something to drink. Drape my jacket back over my shoulders.” His mouth twists a moment. “I may get…affectionate, but you shouldn’t—”

There's so much here that I want to talk about! First of all, Jopson is highly comfortable with and cognizant of his own response to this type of play, and he's able to articulate that response very clearly--which is something that comes with experience. He's communicating to Edward the point where he wants the play to stop--ie, when he no longer responds verbally--and he's also clear about what needs to be done to gently tug him back out of it. (Coming back out of it isn't always required, but in this case, since they're sleeping separately and working in the morning, it's for the best.)

If Jopson had finished his last sentence, it would have been along the lines of "I may get affectionate, but you shouldn't take it seriously if I do". I pulled directly from Jopson's abandonment issues in canon for that one, and it hurts my feelings to put it here, but it's here so that Edward can respond appropriately this time. I think any feelings that Jopson has during scenes are legitimate--but I also suspect, based on this, that Jopson has been affectionate during scenes before, and had that affection rebuffed, or had it indicated to him that the affection wasn't welcome or needed, so he's used to disclaiming it. Which, ouch.

“Good job,” he says, voice low and right next to Jopson’s ear. “Pack your things. I’m coming back for you.”

Speaking of AU!Edward Littles that didn't fuck up their decisions, here's one right here.

His hand is pleasantly tingling, his mind starting to fuzz out with endorphins, and he wants Jopson to feel the same—

So Edward puts literally zero thought into his own headspace throughout this scene, because that's the kind of POV character he is, but you can see the beginning of his...actually, I don't even know the word for it. Whatever the equivalent of subspace is for doms, Edward is getting into it.

I like symmetry

Says the man with the tattoo on one arm. Alright, Ned. Alright.

"Mrf." Jopson swallows, the movement of his neck something Edward can actually feel, now that he's carrying Jopson fully. "Don’t want to derail the scene—I just—a minute—your cock is quite distracting."

I love that all the physical play was just fine, but it's being nestled against Edward's hardon that makes Jopson need a minute. (Which, fair.)

“Yeah,” Edward manages. “I can—I can do that. You, uh, the safewords?”

One of the things I really love about Edward here is that when he gets overwhelmed with how awesome something is, he reverts back to safety and checking in with his partner. (I'm pretty sure you could contrast that with Tozer, who I'm pretty sure would just talk filth until he'd gotten a grip on things again, and Crozier, who I see as pretty unflappable during play considering that he hasn't met a certain "online guy" yet.)

“I can’t believe we can’t fuck in here,” Jopson mutters grouchily.

Couldn't get ploughed in the dungeon the way I wanted, 0/10 on TripAdvisor.

Edward puts his hands behind his head, tugs at his own hair a moment to ground himself, and then curls his hands into fists where Jopson can’t see them, brings them down and around, quick and sudden, thumping the sides of his hands into Jopson’s ribs.

The very first time I was in a rough play workshop, this move was demonstrated. The demo bottom was facing the audience, and the presenter was sitting on a table behind him. They had him put his hands behind his neck and just stand there and wait while they was talking about something else, but from our position in the audience, we could see them raise their hands above their head, and knew what they were going to do, because they mimed it out for us first. I think that's where I fell in love with this kind of play, because they made it fun.

“I’ll go faster for the rest,” Edward promises. “Keep counting, and you’ll get your reward on five.”

Or, you know, on six, because one of you wanted five hits in a row and restarted the count on purpose, and the other one of you stuck to your promise of going with a verbal command of five because there wasn’t enough time to go through the whole ‘what is the correct response here’ and muscle memory won out over anxiety domming. (You can save your “oops”, Jopson, we all know it’s insincere.) 

Jopson doesn’t scream. His entire body goes stiff, breath sucking quick into his lungs and his fingernails digging sharply into Edward’s bare back, legs clenching around Edward’s thigh, and it’s like time just fucking stops for one ecstatic moment until Jopson goes limp, his hands patting randomly on Edward’s back, over the scratches he’s just left in Edward’s skin that Edward is going to treasure forever, because he did that to Jopson and he’s going to wear these scratches with fucking pride.

Y'all, Edward "so excited about the part where he scratched me that I completely missed the part where he came" Little. He'll be here all weekend.

Jopson blinks, slow and easy. “Quite lovely, thank you. Everything cleaned up?”

I'm deeply in favour of doms who look after cleaning up the space while their subs recover. I'm not convinced that Little and Jopson will fall into that pattern permanently, but I think it's a sweet gesture on Edward's part that he looks after everything for their first time. It's also a very encouraging thing for Jopson--because, say, if he was trying to make sure that he wasn't going to have his service taken for granted, this is a good indication that it won't be.

Edward feels vaguely like he should demur, out of manners, or, uh. Concern for Jopson’s knees, or—or his, um. Aftercare. Or. Or something.

I love deep POV.

Edward raises his eyebrows, deliberately puts his hands flat on the wall behind him. He’s suddenly very, very hard. “I’m not gonna stop you if you want to do it yourself,” he says, voice rough. “That’s hot as fuck.”

*eyeballs emoji*

(And we can make a note of that particular detail for the next chapter, when Edward awkwardly discloses something that Jopson already suspects--or, at least, would suspect if he weren't currently high as fuck on happy endorphins.)

“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” Edward says. He swallows. “I—uh. Sorry, this is stupid, I forgot they were there—I generally do, you know, warn people in advance, this isn’t how I normally—I, uh.”

I suspect the actual issue here is that the last time Edward had his dick sucked, there wasn't nearly as much metal in it, so "hey my dick is heavily pierced" isn't a conversation that he's used to having, but Edward can excuse this however he likes.

...it’s just—he’s just—he’s never—not without his partner gagging, and there were always other things they could do, there were always—fuck—this was never a priority...

Little refuses to think of his own dick as big, because it's the dick he's always had, so unfortunately, this is the closest we're gonna get to confirmation of his dick size in his POV.

Edward can feel—oh, fuck, no, that’s not just his cock, he can feel his own piercings in Jopson’s throat, the hard balls of the barbells firm under his fingertips, and Edward’s balls tighten.

I don't want to admit how much time I spent trying to figure out if this was a legitimate thing, but it was more than an hour, I couldn't find an answer, I have no one to ask, and I liked the mental image too much to let it go, so now we're all stuck with it.

I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not.

Edward takes a deep breath, steps into the hotel room, and shoulders his responsibilities.

Edward, sweetie. Sol would be the first one to tell you that he can handle himself.

I mean, we can all agree that he clearly didn’t handle himself particularly well tonight.

But he’d be the first one to tell you to fuck off.

Phew. That's it for this week! Chapter four, Kink, goes up next Friday, and we'll touch on Solomon Tozer's no-good very-bad day then.

And if you have questions or anything in the meantime, you can always drop me an ask on tumblr or Curious Cat. I know I didn't cover everything, even in this long-ass entry, cuz there's a fuck of a lot of stuff going on in the foreground, much less the background. I honestly don't mind if you ask, it's totally cool. :)

See you next week!

[drinkingdeadpeopletea]

What are your favourite subclasses/schools/colleges/ways etc within each class (you don’t have to do all of them! Just the ones that come to mind or you have feelings about)

oh BOY ANON LET’S GO THERE

okay so first off, the School of Divination Wizard. this one jumped to mind immediately because I’m playing one right now, and i love her. the main thing this subclass has going for it is it’s special Portent ability, where you get to roll 2 d20s once per long rest and replace any roll by any character that you can see with that roll. so, up against a really nasty demon and want to hit it with Polymorph? give it that 3 you rolled on your portent this morning on its saving throw and make sure the spell sticks. absolutely need to make sure your Barbarian doesn’t get charmed and start attacking the party? give him the 16 you rolled this morning so you can be sure he passes. it’s so clutch and it makes you feel so powerful. 

i also adore the Inquisitive Rogue. this is a Xanathar’s subclass for the rogue, and it lends a different flavor to rogues that I really like, as someone who likes doing sneak attack but also likes playing good-aligned characters that don’t want to be labelled a “thief” or an “assassin.” I get to play a detective and do 4d6 damage just by making a successful insight check? sign me the fuck up! also, as a player I’m kind of obsessed with knowing things–i never want to dump wisdom or intelligence because I want to make sure i can get those good insight checks and arcana checks in. so Inquisitive works really well for me and is just a very easy headspace for me to slip into. my Inquisitive Rogue Marigold is probably my favorite character I’ve ever played. when i played her at level 12 for a one-shot she had 25 passive perception. 

i also feel very strongly that the Great Old One Warlock is underrated. for starters, the storytelling potential is phenomenal. sure, it’s fun to have a patron who’s actively interested in you and toying with you, but it is also so fun to have encountered a being so great and terrible that it fundamentally changed the way you interact with the world, but your patron probably won’t even notice your existence until you’re like level 15, if it notices you at all. and then mechanically–you get telepathy!!! holy shit!!! how kickass is that!!! and you get access to all these fucked up eldritch spells!!! LOVE to have a cosmic horror as a patron. 

little bit of bias here because I’ve never seen the other subclasses in action, but I played an Artillerist Artificer in a one-shot recently (side-note, it was a Christmas one-shot and my character was a hafling child named Kev McAllister) and i LOVED that eldritch cannon. the customizability, the fact that it can walk around on its own, the fact that it only takes an action to build–that rules. and it can do some serious damage!

now getting into subclasses I’ve never actually played but love the idea of, Oath of Redemption Paladin. first off, any backstory that leads you to take that oath is absolutely beautiful and absolutely My Shit. bonus points if you were another class first and then have a big moment and start taking paladin levels…holy shit. holy shit. it also provides a fun challenge to be playing this class that’s typically known for its martial prowess and ability to do crazy amounts of damage and be actively trying to avoid battle. I don’t know if i’d ever actually want to play a Redemption paladin just because i actually love combat and am pretty much always Down To Fight but oh boy do i love the idea of them. 

on the other hand, a class that i would love to play and am in fact low-key obsessed with is the Horizon Walker Ranger. i adore the DnD planar system, and an entire subclass that’s built around travelling between them??? that fucking RULES!!! yeah, i’m just casually phasing through the Ethereal Plane, what about it? yeah, i’m friends with a bunch of gods and “benevolent dragons, fey, and elementals” that protect goodness in the multiverse, do you have a problem? “venturing to the Inner Planes and Outer Planes as needed to pursue their foes” SOMEONE PLEASE LET ME PLAY IN A CAMPAIGN WHERE A HORIZON WALKER RANGER MAKES SENSE. I KNOW IT REQUIRES A VERY SPECIFIC TYPE OF CAMPAIGN BUT. PLEASE. 

I love a good Light Domain Cleric because it both plays off the “light in the darkness” imagery that’s personally really important to me, but it also explores the side of light that is burning and ferocious and damaging and terrifying. radiant damage is…..very cool. but then I also really love “atypical” cleric domains–in particular, Knowledge and Trickery. the 4e deity Avandra, goddess of luck, is one of my absolute favorites, and I would love to play a trickery cleric of her sometime, and I also really like the idea of seeing “knowledge is power” coming to play in an extremely literal way. and that Channel Divinity “Read Thoughts” is cool as FUCK. 

i’ve never seen the Battle Master Fighter in action but I think they’re super cool. I really like subclasses and classes that do a lot of damage but have some fun other options for you do to as well–so monks, rogues, paladins, etc. Battle Masters fit that well, and I like the manuevers that let you buff the rest of your party. Plus, my love of knowing things about the world around me and the NPCs around me kicks in with that 7th level feature. 

those are all the ones I have strong feelings about. i love monks but i don’t have strong feelings about any of the subclasses over the others, although that desire to Know Everything definitely makes Matt Mercer’s Cobalt Soul subclass very appealing to me. I also like the Zealot Barbarian and the Divine Soul Sorcerer just because I like characters who interact with divine powers so much and I think the sorcerer in particular can add this super cool “i don’t need the church i’ve got the gods IN ME” flavor that i would love to see played out in the game. 

bards and druids are my least favorite classes to play so i don’t have many opinions on them, but I do think Circle of the Moon Druids are very cool and useful to have in the party, and i like the College of Valor Bard a lot because it lends itself well to the “battle poets” from Celtic folklore which is a particular academic interest of mine, and what did i spend thousands of dollars on a college degree on if not to use it to enhance my Dungeons and Dragons game? plus the ability to use Inspiration on a damage dice is *chef’s kiss.*

[markley]

amortentia — wjh

summary — where complicated feelings are so easily revealed with a simple potion

genre — hogwarts au, fantasy, fluff, comedy

warnings — n/a

word count — 2.5k

a/n — my first harry potter au! if u arent a slytherin im sorry :(

“hello class,” your potions proffesor says, looking out to the rest of the tired morning class. “for the next few days we are learning about amortentia. can anyone tell me what it is?”

many hands raise, not including your own. you knew, but didnt really care enough to answer the question, opting to read the section on the strong love potion in the textbook in front of you. suddenly, something hits the back of your head, and you turn to face wen junhui, or jun, balling up another piece of small parchment in his hands.

if there is one word to describe jun, it’s infuriating. normally, students from the same house tend to get along, but that definitely did not occur between you and jun, both headstrong slytherins with a need to be right— not traits for a good friendship.

it started when junhui questioned whether you were talented or not, as you were always so quiet and never showed any particular skill in wizadry. he challenged you to a duel, and lost. ever since then he has made it his duty to bother and annoy you until school ends, while you make sure to never give him the last laugh.

honestly, the bickering has just become a game of cat and mouse, and although its tiring, you wont lose. besides, what’s the fun in that?

“uh,” you start awkwardly, fully aware of jun’s silent laugh behind you. “a strong love potion that causes obsession rather than actual love? i believe it also varies in smell.”

“uh,” you start awkwardly, fully aware of jun’s silent laugh behind you. “a strong love potion that causes obsession rather than actual love? i believe it also varies in smell.”

“uh,” you start awkwardly, fully aware of jun’s silent laugh behind you. “a strong love potion that causes obsession rather than actual love? i believe it also varies in smell.”

mr. min looks satisfied, shaking through his dark hair with a hand. “correct, but don’t think i won’t notice you not paying attention ms. kwon.” he continues on explaining the properties of the tonic. you turn around slightly to glare at a smirking junhui, clearly proud. you shake your head, already thinking of ways to get him back.

the rest of the class period consisted of you taking notes on both the actual subject and mental notes on ways to make jun’s life absolutely miserable. the bell finally rings, signaling the end of class, and you jump up before jun is able to talk to you like he always insists.

you hear his annoying—albeit nice—voice from behind you, a teasing pout. with a roll of your eyes, you walk away to find your brother, soonyoung, knowing he’s somewhere in the hallways near you. although he is a hufflepuff, and an annoying as hell brother, you found him much easier to get along with than those of your own house— example? jun. obviously. 

soonyoung giggles as you approach him, a teasing smile playing along his lips. “aw, look at that. mr. slytherin is sad you’re avoiding him.” he says. you punch the redhead’s arm, not even needing to look back to know he’s right. jun always pouts. soonyoung insists he really likes you, but you know better—if the constant teasing and pranking is anything to go by. besides, you hated the boy anyway, even though soonyoung disagrees with that as well.

mr. min yells out a small “remember to be prepared tomorrow” throughout the dungeon hall. you turn to the professor, allowing junhui to finally catch up to you, putting an arm around your shoulder, with soonyoung long gone. “hey babe,” jun says, grinning, “good job on that thing today. fucking hilarious.” rolling your eyes, you shrug his arm off.

“fuck--”

“me?”

“off!” you correct, groaning internally at his constant teasing. he just smiles that same crooked grin before walking away with a mumble you didn't quite catch but sounded something like ‘you would.’ oh, how you hate him. or at least that’s what you tell yourself. 

whether you hated the guy or not, he was undeniably gorgeous and sometimes— only sometimes— kind of funny. but you still hated him. never have you been so easily annoyed with a human being before. 

with a small shake of your head, you walk back to your dorm to think of a way to embarrass junhui after potions today. you get there quickly as its right by potions class, but even by this time you had an idea, and not a pretty one. 

if there was one thing junhui prided himself on, it was his skillset. whether that was charms or potions, he was cocky about succeeding in it all. using this, you think of a great way to embarrass him the way you were embarrassed earlier— making a fool out of himself under mr min’s eye. oh how very fun this will be. 

on the other side of school, jun was bribing soonyoung for information on you, already knowing you were attempting to get back at him. you were known for needing the last word, after all. soonyoung being the kind hufflepuff brother he is, at least tried to avoid jun, but eventually gave up at jun’s offer of endless sweets. can you blame him? well yes, and you do the next day before potions when he lets it slip that he told junhui the name of your old crush— not that junhui knows its old. 

how you and soonyoung are siblings? you will never know.

the only thing giving you solace from punching soonyoung in the face is knowing the prank you are about to pull on junhui. the prank in question is completely fucking up his potion, a prank soonyoung called “absolute evil.”

in class, you were to make your own batch of amortentia, a difficult feat on its own, although quite easy for you and jun. the best part is to soon come, when you throw in something most definitely not in the potion. specifically something to make it explode.

maybe soonyoung was right. mr. min was not an easy teacher to impress but was definitely an easy teacher to disappoint—and jun hates disappointing professors.

you were evil. guess thats why you fit perfectly in slytherin—or atleast according to the rest of the school.

when class starts, mr. min is already talking about failure. “don’t worry,” he says, “i already know most of you will fail.” with that last piece of what was probably meant to be encouragement, everyone begins to work on the difficult potion.

soon after everyone barely makes it to the middle of the workload, you have already finished, and jun is right behind you. he moved away from his cauldron to fetch the last ingredient, and you take it as your time to throw in a little bit of porcupine quills quickly, an easy way to make his potion turn into something not made for love.

with a small smile at no one noticing, you return to your own finished product, mr. min looking at it in satisfaction. suddenly, a small pop is heard from behind you where jun is standing in front of a bright green potion— well, more like covered in it.

you burst into silent giggles at his predicament, mr. min having an opposite reaction, instead glaring at the failure. junhui himself glares too, but instead at you, with eyes full of hatred. you can’t help the feeling of pride spreading across your chest, which then drops at mr. mins snarl.

“who did it?” he asks, looking around and then stopping at you. you throw your hands up in the air with an exclamation of ‘it wasn’t me!’. the professor doesn’t seem convinced, raising an eyebrow. he then plucks a porcupine quill off your robes, and you give up. “that’s what i thought.”

you look over to jun, standing still in the green mess, but with an obvious smirk on his face. you mentally face palm at yourself for failing at making jun an embarrassment. fuck the little shithead...

“the both of you,” mr. min speaks, pointing to a downtrodden and no longer smiling junhui, “are to clean this mess up, as well as the entire class. oh, and the storage while you are at it. don’t break anything.” and with a small groan of protest from jun, the class is dismissed. mr. min struts out of the dungeon classroom, but not before flicking his wand towards jun’s robes, now spotless.

with a slam of the dungeon door, you and junhui are left alone. “this is your fault,” junhui snarls, pointing a perfectly manicured finger in your direction. “why do i always get looped in with you?!”

“because you started it. and you always retaliate.” you say with ever growing frustration. jun groans in irritation, looking as if ready to stab you at any given moment.

“how the hell are you and soonyoung siblings?” he asks, shaking his head while walking to the corner to begin cleaning.

“i ask myself that question everyday.”

after that small conversation, the two of you start cleaning up the green mess and then the rest of the dungeon classroom. it took a good hour or two, and you still hadnt even organized the messy storage yet. the entire time while cleaning you and junhui hadnt talked to each other, only sparing a few hate-filled glances and eye rolls.

the storage closet was a mess of premade potions and ingredients. it was so chaotic you feel the need to ask mr. min the last time he even thought about organizing it. shelves upon shelves held bottles of colors: red to black to clear. almost every potion in existence was held in this small closet.

you can’t help but find your fingertips brushing across the bottles of pretty tonics. jun follows you into the small space to clean after seeing you ogling instead of doing your job. “get to cleaning.” he says, already starting his organization process of what seems to be putting the potions in rainbow order.

rolling your eyes, you begin to help, grabbing the bottles of liquid. a small bright pink vial grabs your attention as you brush through the bottled ingredients. you pick it up, swishing the thick potion within the glass. with a cock of your head, you open it to be met with a strong fume of what seems to smell like... junhui? the boy in question is still diligently cleaning the small closet behind you, unknowingly to you, staring at you from his peripheral vison.

you take another sniff, hoping to be wrong—but no. that smell is distinctly jun; musky yet sweet. a hand grabs the bottle from you, peering at the label. “what does it smell like?” jun asks, raising an eyebrow at your extremely confused expression. “it’s amortentia, dumbass.”

at this, you grab the potion back, not believing him. there is no way in hell amortentia would smell like jun. however, the infuriating guy was right. the bottle was in fact labeled amortentia. your breathing hitches, and you can’t seem to come up with any words— or even look up at the boy in front of you.

jun seems to get more confused every second you dont answer him. “um, y/n? you alive there?” you finally look up, coughing awkwardly and handing him the vial back.

“yeah, im fine dork.”

“ouch. dork? im a nerd at best.”

“shut up, you nerd.” he smiles at your unconscious correction, turning back to the amortentia bottle unaware to the racing thoughts and heart you are currently dealing with internally. why, why would amortentia smell like the one person you hate the most behind soonyoung?!

“i bet it smells like minghao.” at this blunt statement you snap your head to a smirking jun. “i mean, you do like him right?” you remember soonyoung saying how jun bribed him with chocolate for this information and you write a mental note to kill your brother later.

“liked,” you mumble, walking as far away from the grinning asshole in front of you. the last thing you need is junhui teasing you about a crush while the strongest love potion ever smells like him. “as in no longer. over. done with. blah blah blah.”

“anyway, are you almost done with the rest of the potions?” you quickly change the subject of your old crush and the potion that reeks of your number one enemy. the questions in your head still wont end and you want to leave as soon as possible.

“wait wait wait,” jun says, very insistent. “if you dont like minghao anymore, who does it smell like?”

“why the fuck do you care, junhui?”

“i dont,” he says, twidling his thumbs awkwardly, but still staring you down with his dark eyes. “im just... curious.” that isnt entirely true and you can hear it in his hesitant voice.

you groan and glare at the brunet boy. you take the bottle, and pretend to smell it again, but already know your answer. it smells like the forest you found him in one night after curfew, that you just happened to be sneaking out to as well—that was the first time you two ever got along, agreeing to not turn each other in. the potion also smells of the fruity shampoo jun uses, and the mint gum he always chews. you hate to admit it, but the potion smells exactly like how you envision jun. and whatever that may mean, its true.

“the forbidden forest at midnight, mint gum and lemon-y shampoo.” you finally answer after a lot of internal debate of whether to be honest or not. pushing the bottle back to him, you begin to leave the small closet like space. jun reaches out an arm quickly, grabbing on to your wrist.

“that,” he starts, recognizing the scents as his own. “smells like-“

“i know,” you whisper, pulling your arm away. not ready to take his reaction, you start to run away and jun’s next words are the only thing that stop you.

“do you want to know what it smells like to me?” junhui says hopefully, but entirely expecting you to walk away. “hair dye and strawberries.” stopping, you turn back to jun. he had moved closer, now nose to nose with you. your breath hitches, and you almost think you arent breathing. “just like the purple hair dye you put in my shampoo and the strawberries i always see you eat every. single. meal.”

you look up to meet his piercing eyes that bore into yours with such intensity it takes your breath away. you look away for him to softly grab your chin. “look at me, please.” his voice is the softest you’ve ever heard it, just a whisper.

“what does that mean, jun?”

“it means look at me.” you glare up at him, him chuckling in return. he places his forehead against yours, and the exact mint gum scent that you smelled in the love tonic hits your nose. “it means i like you, dork.” jun’s lips move closer to yours every word he speaks until they are just barely touching

“im a nerd at best.” you mumble before pushing your mouth against what you believed to be your enemy’s. mental note: kill soonyoung later, for being right

maybe there really is a thin line between love and hate.

[jennikkugoesoff]

Things I would add to Minecraft in no particular order.

Heya! Jennikku here, obviously. And I’m just here to talk about shit I would add to Minecraft just because I think it’s neat or I think is worth expansion. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I would change Minecraft if I was one of the devs so like, yeah, in no certain order here’s things I would adjust, add and change about Minecraft

1. Brown/Grizzly Bears

We have polar bears and panda bears in Minecraft, but we don’t have any of the classic ‘brown’ bears. It seems a little odd to me that we have these two different sorts of bears, and yet no ‘normal’ counterpart. And, with Bees, and by extension, honey, likely being added into this new upcoming update, it just makes sense that Bears would come a-Stompin! I imagine Grizzlies would behave pretty similarly to Polar Bears, and would spend most of their time looking for food. Grizzlies naturally attack any Salmon or Beehive they see the way a wolf will hunt sheep, or a fox/ocelot will hunt chickens and are neutral to the player as long as they keep their distance or the player isn’t near to any one of their cubs. Maybe even like turtles, bears could naturally inhabit caves and have a ‘home’ cave they return to reproduce or go to at the end of every day.

2. Swamp-exclusive mobs

I think swamps need to be a little more swampy. It seems kind of silly to me that wetlands are some of the most diverse biomes on Earth, and yet there’s nothing to populate the murky depths of swamps. Alligators/Crocodiles, Snapping Turtles, Frogs, just something to make the swamps a little more interesting or a little more dangerous to explore! Maybe even a new spider or creeper variant similar to the way husks and strays are an exclusive zombie and skeleton types for desert and snow biomes? 

3. Expansion of existing foods, new crops, and manufactured food

I think perhaps new crop types are an order given that we’ve had the same ones for a pretty long time now, and I firmly believe that existing foods are worth expansion.

For instance, the state of baked goods in Minecraft is pretty dull. Most of the baked goods are about nigh useless, apart from maybe Pumpkin Pie. If we can craft one type of pie, why can’t we craft others? Like, for instance, Apple Pie? We have apples in the game that aren’t used for many recipes outside of one (extremely expensive) late-game food, so why not try to give apples a use for early or midgame players? Or, how about we bake some of our new sweet berries into a pie? It’s not like we’re using berries for much else in-game! 

Oh and, while we’re here, shouldn’t we be able to place pies the way we place cakes? Think about how cool it could be to leave a pie sitting out the way a cake does, it’d be great for little suburban home builds with warm pies sitting in the windows, bakery and other cafe or restaurant-type builds, or just convenience for a group of people or solo players who want to come home and munch on some pie.

I’d personally like to see chocolate added to Minecraft as well, the fact that we have cocoa beans but not chocolate seems kind of odd to me personally, although I understand it is sort of a left-field addition.

I would REALLY like to see a way to cook eggs if I’m honest, but maybe that’s just me? I understand if this seems like a cheap source of food given the inherent frequency of how and when chickens lay eggs.

I also think soups need to be expanded in the game. The fact we have pumpkins but not pumpkin soup is a crime against humanity. I know pumpkins are already used in the recipe for pumpkin pie, but, I enjoy variety with my crops. And besides, if wheat and sugar cane can have versatility as crops, why not pumpkins? I’d also really like to see another kind of meat stew (besides rabbit stew anyway, rabbits are kind of rare in my playtime experience.) or a vegetable stew of some sort added to the game. Fact is, players don’t get many opportunities to craft soups in the game, and I think adding some new soups could help that!

I’d also kinda like to see a new veggie or maybe even a mushroom added to game, as I feel the pickings are pretty slim there, turnips come to mind in terms of a new veggie, just something to round out the existence of carrots, potatoes, and beetroot, and for mushrooms, I’d actually kinda like to see truffles added to the game. Maybe you could use pigs to hunt them, and use them to breed Zombie Pigmen in the nether, or make them friendly toward you? I dunno, I think there’s an idea there. 

4. Baby Creepers and Baby Spiders

Every other common monster has baby counterparts, except for Creepers and Spiders. While this may seem like a ‘no why would you do that’ sort of thing, what’s wrong with a little bit of a new challenge here and there? Plus, baby creepers could deal less damage and explode in a smaller radius than adults, while Baby Spiders could have way less health (maybe you could even kill them by stepping on them?). And, come on, don’t tell me you’re not enthralled by the idea of a tiny creeper or tiny spider doing little high-pitched hisses.

Oh, and, I think Creepers should be able to wear helmets. No other armor piece, just helmets.

5. A way to obtain specific player heads without using commands in Creative Mode.

This speaks for itself honestly. I have wanted to use custom heads for my builds SO many times, but I find spawning them in incredibly tedious and annoying.

6. Updating/Varying Temples and other archaic pre-generated structures

We have sprawling Ocean Monuments and Mansions and more organic and believable villages now, I think it’s time some of the older temples got an update too, or at least the ability to vary a little more and look more ruinous? 

7. Horse-drawn carts or carriages.

While I feel like this is kind of unnecessary given that most equine mobs can just carry chests, a way to transport your fellow players, as well as larger stocks of items across a large distance using a horse or donkey seems like a novel idea to me. Perhaps you could link up carts/carriages with leads to make your epic caravan even bigger!

8. Expansion of the Nether

The Nether isn’t really very scary anymore, and it’s fucking UNINTERESTING! I feel like the Nether could benefit from individual biomes or perhaps more unique structures? Perhaps a hellish-looking forest biome full of dead trees, Soul-sand lava beaches, zombie pigman villages, gnarly giant mushroom biomes, nether outposts with loot guarded by blazes and wither skeletons, unfinished portals, Nether dungeons with skeleton or blaze spawners and more exclusive loot, I dunno! Just something to make the Nether scarier and less barren!

9. Cave/Mining Expansion

Given that everyone and their grandma has already said the caves need an update, I’ll keep it short and sweet:

Caves are boring and uninteresting, we’ve been looking at the same caves for too damn long. Add more unique cave types, more minerals, and above all, more REASONS to mine! The game’s called MINECRAFT? Y’know, you MINE things in it?

10. A use for Dragon Eggs

I don’t care what it is, let us make dragon omelets, re-fight the Ender Dragon in the overworld, cool potions, just let me do SOMETHING with this egg, Mojang, I’m sick of feeling like it has some mysterious higher purpose!

11. Giant Flowers

Okay this one’s more personal but, I think it’d be kinda cool if we could grow giant flowers the same way we grow giant mushrooms. That is all.

[eggoreviews]

My Top 25 Games Advent Day 9 - The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds (#17)

“My Lorule may remind you of your own home. But, in fact, our kingdoms are as different as night and day. Worlds apart, as they say.”

At long last, I get to cover one of my all-time favourite franchises on this list. The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds is my absolute favourite (2D) Zelda game and is, in my opinion, a masterclass in dungeon and world design. Taking everything that made A Link to the Past so great and changing it completely whilst also changing barely anything, A Link Between Worlds stands out from other Zelda games as something truly memorable, as well as being one of the best experiences you can have on a handheld console.

A Link Between Worlds, being a not quite sequel of ALTTP, took all its cues from its predecessor as the groundwork of an excellent game; an interesting enough narrative that kicks off straight away, two different but almost identical worlds to explore, an array of great dungeons and items to tackle them and a whole bunch of optional collectibles. Both Hyrule and Lorule are a joy to explore and just see what you can find, whether that be just some rupees, a minigame or even an item that later becomes important. It’s easy to get lost in just wandering around, as both worlds feel diverse and interesting enough to keep that from getting old too quickly. But my personal favourite aspect of this game, as well as its main reason for placing here, is the dungeons. Every single dungeon you come across in the game is intuitive, challenging, expansive and unique, and with each dungeon able to be tackled in any order, it truly customises the experience to the individual player. While admittedly a fair few of the dungeons are reskins of old favourites from ALTTP, they’ve been tweaked enough to feel fresh and brand new, at least enough so that this game doesn’t feel like a thinly veiled remaster. Where A Link Between Worlds really stands tall is in its final dungeon, Lorule Castle, which still is pretty much my favourite dungeon, purely for its atmosphere, its motif and its perfectly balanced and challenging puzzles. The dungeons in this game are absolutely phenomenal.

In another move to separate this game from its predecessor, you no longer find important items in convenient dungeon chests; you now have to buy or rent them from your new roommate Ravio. Renting is of course cheaper, but it does come with the drawback of having that item taken away if you happen to die while out in the field, which gives a genuine weight to the deaths you experience and gives you much more of a drive to avoid unnecessary deaths, which never feels unfair. It’s a system that really benefits the gameplay, as for the most part, the general experience of this game is just an upscaled ALTTP, so this type of item usage gives the game something entirely different.

Another substantial difference between ALTTP and A Link Between Worlds that makes it way better is its central focus on a running narrative and much stronger characters. While the overarching plot of the game is essentially the same as before, except this time it’s seven sage descendents with actual character that you’re rescuing rather than seven identical, nameless maidens. Most notably though, each character you come across on your journey really makes the world feel vibrant and alive. Hilda, as Lorule’s counterpart of Zelda, acts as a helpful character for the majority of the game, before revealing her intentions of stealing Hyrule’s triforce to fix her kingdom is a very interesting subplot, as it gives more depth to her character and there’s definitely an element of moral grayness to it that’s really rare for a Zelda title. You know Hilda is justified in wanting to save her kingdom from ruin, but it’s at the cost of Hyrule, which then makes the ending of Link and Zelda using their triforce to save Lorule despite Hilda’s actions even more emotional and impactful. And then there’s our main villain, Yuga, a sorcerer hell bent on perfecting the art he makes out of other people and strives for perfection by, you guessed it, resurrecting Ganon. But here’s the thing: Yuga is a much, much more compelling and memorable villain than ALTTP’s Agahnim, who time has been very kind to despite the fact he appears like twice and all he basically ever says to Link is “fuck you, dude”. Yuga is a slimy, pretentious artist who is very, very easy to hate just on his personality and his treatment of Link alone and that makes me love him as a villain even more. Plus, his design is awesome and I’m always down for a unique Zelda villain, as the likes of Zant and Ghirahim also ended up being some of the best parts of their respective games.

Now we come to one of my most important things to focus on in a game, in particular a Zelda game, the music. Of course, they nailed it. The new mixes of the Hyrule and Lorule themes based around the Overworld and Dark World themes from ALTTP are catchy and memorable, the dungeon themes are atmospheric and luckily not quite as repetitive as other previous games. In particular, I’m giving a special shoutout to the Yuga boss theme from Hyrule Castle, which blends brass instruments and deep, chanting vocals help to give this boss fight and Yuga himself a unique feel that separates him from just another one of Ganon’s goons. And last but not least, one of my all time favourite Zelda tracks, the Lorule Castle theme. The slow build, the layering, the swelling orchestra as it becomes more and more epic the higher you ascend into the castle, it’s genuinely incredible and stil constitutes as one of my favourite game finales of all time.

I know I spent a hell of a long time comparing this game to A Link to the Past in this review, but I felt it was important to drive home just how much the series has grown over the past decades, even if it does keep a lot of those old Zelda tropes we’re all too used to. A Link Between Worlds is an excellent example of modern dungeon design and, despite the fact this spot nearly went to Link’s Awakening, comes out on top as my favourite 2D Zelda.

Standout Moment Award: Lorule!! Castle!! Hnnnghg Yuga Ganon fight.

Standout Character Award: Yuga. As arguably the slimiest, most pretentious Zelda villain in the series (which is saying something, especially since Ghirahim exists) Yuga left an immediate impression on me and is still one of the series’ most enduring one-time villains.

Tomorrow: No. 16; a modern tale of prejudice and Mr. Krabs.