#it's making me frustrated because it doesn't go away and then upset because it's uncomfortable

[omegapheromone]

Sobbing in my nest because I feel ghost crumbs even when I've cleaned it at least four times now and I know there are none but still somehow Bad Feelings against my skin and I can't do anything about it. The blanket isn't soft enough and my pillows hurt my neck. I might actually start crying about this it's so. Dumb I'm just having sensory issues and being emotionally fragile but it's upsetting me SO MUCH

[amygobrrr]

a Jackie Taylor character analysis

or, why—

[I'm serious btw. this is ~3800 words, or about 15 minutes reading time.]

──── ◦✦◦ ────

The Facts of the Case

"For the record... I was trying to save you." Jackie. 1996, 1x02

(Nothing else Jackie ever says sums up who she is more succinctly than that.)

Our first real introduction to Jackie Taylor as a character—the first shot of her bedroom scene in 1x01—is a framed photo of her sitting close to Shauna, at a party. This is also the very first protagonist-centric character scene of the entire show; from the outset, we are told that the relationship between Jackie and Shauna will be critically important to the narrative. They are best friends, it's implied they do practically everything together, and right from their very first scenes we see how important they are to each other.

Yet likewise from the beginning, we see the fractures between them.

Shauna hides her acceptance to Brown from Jackie, and is uncomfortable with the assumption that she will be following her friend to Rutgers. She disapproves of Jackie's boyfriend sneaking out of her room, and is frustrated by Jackie telling her what to wear and who to hook up with. She is visibly upset at seeing Jackie and her boyfriend together at a party, and, on the way home, has sex with said boyfriend.

Jackie makes her boyfriend drop her off from the party first, forcing Shauna to wait much longer to get home. After Shauna chooses a rival plan for survival over hers, she gives her the cold shoulder, even actively tries to make her jealous. Jackie steals and reads Shauna's journal, and outs her pregnancy to the rest of the team. She sleeps with the only eligible man in the wilderness, just to try and hurt Shauna.

Jackie and Shauna may care deeply about each other, but we see them spending an awful lot of time driving wedges into the space between themselves.

So why do they behave this way? Why does Jackie fidget sadly with her necklace, why does she look at Shauna the way she does before giving the necklace to her, why is she so heartbroken over a boy she says she barely even likes, why is she so crestfallen at the idea Shauna lost her virginity without telling her, why does she pull Travis away at Doomcoming and look back at Shauna the whole time? Why does Shauna seem to think Jackie has abruptly backtracked with Jeff, why is she so disapproving when she sees Jackie leave Doomcoming with Travis, or when she sees Jeff leave her house? Why does she look so heartbroken when she sees Jackie and Jeff dancing together at the party? Why are they both so hurt and hardened towards each other at the end of it all, and yet why does Shauna's heart still seize in anguish the next morning?

I believe all of those questions have the same, straightforward answer:

Before the crash, Jackie and Shauna were hooking up with each other in secret, and never mentioning a word of it—let alone talking through their feelings for each other.

──── ◦✦◦ ────

Some Mysteries Are Better Left Unsolved

"[Jeff and I have] been together for so long that if we're each others' firsts, then we'll be linked forever. It's more poetic that way. Oh! That reminds me—I decided on a color palette for our room at Rutgers next year." Jackie. 1996, 1x01

They make an unspoken habit of it; one always dragging the other away at parties after a few drinks under the pretense of mere friendly accompaniment. Jackie is reluctant to go all the way with her boyfriend Jeff; even after four years together, something always holds her back. She knows (or strongly believes, anyway, which is the same thing) that that's not entirely normal, and she wants more than anything to be normal, so she takes it in stages. She builds up to it with her boyfriend—slowly—and with her best friend—less slowly, but more comfortably. And it's fine—because Shauna is a girl, after all. Nothing they do together even counts. It's just fun. It's practice, for the real thing. It doesn't count.

But tipsy trysts alone aren't enough to fully explain the dynamic we see. Jackie had a change of heart regarding Jeff—what happened? Shauna seems a little hurt but also genuinely confused that they're back together at the beginning of the show, and even more so that Jackie intends to sleep with him 'for real' before college. I don't believe guilt over her actions fully accounts for her reaction. No, there is something else here, too; I think that, as important as Jackie and Shauna's clandestine hookups are to their dynamic, just as important is the fact that at some point they end. It's Jackie who puts a stop to them, possibly in the midst of the final time it happens.

I think Jackie, at a party some time around the beginning of the show—and maybe even giddy with the fresh excitement of a game or championship win—allows herself to be swept away in the moment with her best friend. Maybe she catches herself about to push too far with Shauna, about to venture into territory that she would have real trouble pretending "doesn't count," even with alcohol and adrenaline buzzing through her veins. Maybe she catches herself wishing that this could be her normal, that she could be with Shauna instead of Jeff. The specifics aren't what matters.

I think Jackie has long been vaguely aware that what she feels for Shauna falls outside of what you would expect for a friend, even a best friend. Normally, she doesn't give it a second thought; it's Shauna, of course it feels different. This time, though, she has a moment of extreme clarity about what exactly it is they're doing, and what it means that she wants it. More specifically, Jackie realizes what it says about her that she craves everything with Shauna that she cannot bring herself to crave with Jeff.

Jackie is in love with her best friend—and that makes her gay.

Jackie realizes, and the knowledge terrifies her.

──── ◦✦◦ ────

The Necklace

"And, here... it's a good-luck charm. Now nothing can touch you." Jackie. 1996, 1x01

Our attention is drawn to Jackie's heart pendant four times in the pilot episode. In order: we see it on the body of the girl hunted in the cold open, we see Jackie fidget with it after brushing her teeth, we see her fidget with it again during the pep rally, and we see her give it to Shauna on the airplane before takeoff. Three of the four scenes feature Jackie, with only the first finding her absent. That initial sighting certainly seems the most cryptic—we learn very quickly that it's Jackie's necklace, so why is someone else wearing it?

While we would need to see through Shauna's eyes to truly satisfy that question, for now at least the fourth scene—in the airplane—provides an answer: the necklace has nomadic tendencies. Jackie gives it as a protective charm to Shauna, who doesn't seem at all surprised by the gesture. Quite the contrary, exchanging the heart feels more like a known ritual between the two, maybe even first established during the trip to Hilton Head that Jackie references in preamble. (This ritual will be repeated—in the other direction—when Shauna gives Jackie a pep talk in 1x05.) Shauna holds the pendant close, clutching it with her entire fist. The thing seems just as precious to her now as it does to Jackie in the remaining scenes; perhaps it was originally a gift from one to the other?

Regardless of whether or not we are meant to infer that the necklace was a gift, in the pep rally scene we are explicitly shown that Jackie does strongly associate it with Shauna. It's a very brief moment in comparison to the full scene we get on the airplane—just one look exchanged, a set of smiles shared. After the Yellowjackets stream into the gym and line up to victorious music, Shauna looks past Lottie over to Jackie. And Jackie is already looking back, smiling as she plays with the heart pendant. Shauna's own grin widens, full and genuine, until it reaches all the way to her eyes. Jackie savors the look for a moment, then glances away, smile unbroken... her goal seemingly achieved.

What goal?

The bathroom scene is an even quicker blip than the gym, yet I believe it's the most impactful and telling of the four. One single shot with a punch-in. Jackie brushes her teeth quickly and then gazes in the mirror, looking forlorn as she fiddles with the necklace. On its own this one scene is not particularly remarkable—its true significance comes from the two others it glues together.

The scene preceding is the aforementioned bedroom introduction. Jackie is in bed with Jeff and he is clearly pushing their activities farther than she finds comfortable. Jackie fakes it to get things over with, powering through as he tells her he loves her. She lets Jeff think he's doing well... and as her immediate reward is coaxed into reciprocating his advances, and then some.

Jackie scrubs her teeth violently. She is unhappy.

The scene following is the car ride with Shauna where we learn that Jackie has suddenly gotten back together with Jeff. When Shauna brings him up, Jackie laughs and shrugs it off, but not before a flash of nervousness escapes in her chuckle—she tries twice to change the subject away from her boyfriend, only finding success once they pass a sign prompting her to talk shit on the boys' baseball team by singing the praises of the girls' own soccer team. Jackie leans out the window as her best friend rolls her eyes and giggles at her antics.

Jackie whoops for joy. She is happy.

Viewed as a whole, the sequence paints a clear picture: Jackie does not truly want to be with her boyfriend. She is unhappy both while and after she is alone with Jeff, happy while alone with Shauna, and while truly alone between the two encounters, draws some kind of strength from the necklace we know she associates with Shauna. In the car, she is eager to turn conversation away from her boyfriend and onto her best friend.

In her mind, everything she's doing with Jeff, everything she's letting him do with her? She is doing it to save her friendship with Shauna. She is working to build plausible deniability.

"I have a curfew too, you know." "Yeah, but... you know what my parents are like." Shauna and Jackie. 1996, 1x01

Conformity is the only weapon Jackie has against her parents' expectations, and naturally she is an expert in its misuse. Plausible deniability is the only tool at her disposal to avoid scaring Shauna away, and so Jackie picks up a double major. Half her work is already done; it's not like they'd ever talked about what they were doing or what it meant, so she can count on Shauna to never bring it up—as long as Jackie withdraws to the safety of being normal best friends.

If Shauna knew the truth, if she knew what Jackie cannot un-know... she would walk away, their friendship ruined, and it would be Jackie's fault. It would be Jackie's fault for being this way, and so the other half of her work must be undertaken. Jeff is living proof that whatever they've done together wasn't real, that Jackie could never be interested in her friend that way. Jeff, therefore, must stay, so that Shauna will stay. Jackie must be strong, for Shauna.

Each of the three necklace scenes Jackie has in the pilot shows us something very specific about her relationship to Shauna. On the airplane, Jackie wraps Shauna in her love—for protection. In the privacy of her bathroom, Jackie wraps herself in Shauna's love—for strength.

And in the gym, in public, Jackie suns herself in the warmth of their friendship—her strength rewarded.

──── ◦✦◦ ────

Abandonment and the Wilderness

"What did I do? When did you stop wanting me to be your best friend?" Jackie. 1996, 1x07

The thought of Shauna replacing her with another is something Jackie dreads above almost all else. Whether in conflict, in resolution, or both, most of the battles and the skirmishes that we see play out between the two revolve around this fear.

Shauna gets upset and causes trouble at the party in the woods before seeming hurt that Jackie hasn't complimented her, so Jackie attempts reassurance by emphasizing how important their friendship is. Her choice of approach here seems at least partly motivated by a guilty conscience (with a side of projection): deep down, she knows that she is trying to replace Shauna... with Jeff. Jackie feels guilty for ending their hookups in favor of her boyfriend, so she assuages that guilt by firmly stating no, Shauna, you're not going anywhere. Jeff could never be my best friend. Only you. This fight ends when Shauna confirms she understands her importance to Jackie.

(As an aside, the timid "Hi" and "Are... are we cool?" Jackie greets Shauna with after the team-building exercise have such a soft lilt to them that they seem decidedly more than friendly.)

After the crash, Shauna snubs Jackie's plan for survival in favor of Taissa's—so Jackie gets buddy-buddy with Mari. Here, Jackie nakedly projects her fear through her actions: Shauna wants to choose Tai over Jackie, well, we'll see how she likes it when Jackie chooses Mari over Shauna. Things are only patched over between them when Shauna comes to Jackie with extra blankets saying she is scared and needs her best friend. Jackie melts at once.

This next one is not really a fight, but does involve reassurance: when the team grows annoyed with Jackie for not pitching in, Shauna pulls her aside to try and find something she can do. Jackie flunks out of badass butchering school, so Shauna switches gears to attempt a pep talk, which goes badly until she lands on the winning words.

"You taught me how to be like this, you know. You make people think things are gonna be okay, just by showing up and being your dumb, hot, awesome self. At least you always did that for me." Shauna. 1996, 1x05

Jackie softens, but holds firm on putting a knife through a deer knee, which Shauna accepts, but counters that Jackie still needs to find something to do. "We need you, Jackie." Shauna pulls out her trump card—she returns the heart pendant to its place around Jackie's neck. "I mean, you're basically the best, remember?" she says. Jackie preens, and a hug seals the deal.

By the time Taissa leads her ill-fated expedition away from the cabin, Shauna has been sneaking around around conspiring with her for a while, so Jackie jumps on the opportunity to corner her and demand an answer. This fight also happens to be when Jackie finally gives voice to the worry she carries; she openly wonders what she could have done to make Shauna want to replace her. And again, the fight ends not so much when Shauna spills a half-truth, but when Shauna allows her to simply be there. Jackie's relief is palpable as she stays cheerful for her best friend, wrapping her in maybe the tightest hug we see throughout the entire show.

Throughout the entire season, virtually all conflict between Jackie and Shauna can ultimately be solved—in Jackie's view, at least—by a reassurance that they will still be best friends no matter what. That is the core of the matter to Jackie, the driving force behind everything she does; she can withstand any blow, weather any storm as long as her best friend remains by her side. Shauna's love will carry her through.

Jackie fears being replaced, because more than anything... she fears being unloved.

──── ◦✦◦ ────

Sic Transit Gloria Mundi

"It's funny, I used to pretend I didn't know if I loved Jeff, when the truth is: I didn't even like him that much. And I was so mad at Shauna, but now I realize she's right! Friendship doesn't matter. Love? Doesn't matter. They're just things we use to pretend like we aren't gonna end up like dead cabin guy, like rotted-out husks in some bullshit attic. But of course that's how it ends. That's all we are the whole time. It doesn't matter. We're just shells with nothing inside." Jackie. 1996, 1x09

Whatever reassurance Jackie has gleaned by the time of the pregnancy half-confession is shattered once again by the revelations contained in Shauna's journal—and yet, she doesn't seem to give up on Shauna entirely... until the end of their explosive argument.

Jackie spends the bulk of 1x08 and 1x09 depressed, bitchy, and passive-aggressive, yes—but through it all, she tries to make things work. She outs Shauna's pregnancy to lend urgency to Laura Lee's mission, but conspicuously deflects questions about the father, despite having the opportunity to go for the jugular. She does her Doomcoming preparations side by side with Shauna, makes her entrance to the party itself next to Shauna; continues to smile at Shauna when she's not looking.

Jackie doesn't cut ties with Shauna—to the contrary, she gives her multiple opportunities to course-correct. When Shauna confronts her about spilling the secret of her pregnancy to the group, Jackie responds with "It's not really the time to be keeping secrets." While wandering through the forest together picking flowers for decoration, Jackie brings up Rutgers before asking "You ever think about what we'd be doing if we hadn't crashed?" and stating—even more plainly—"What if this is it, Shauna? Everything we did, everything we didn't do? All the mistakes that we made, it's like... permanent." In both cases, Jackie knows what Shauna is still trying to keep from her—Jeff, Brown—and is handing her an opening to come clean.

When Shauna deflects away from her mistakes, Jackie scoffs. "Well, I was naïve. I realize that now," she muses.

Jackie still looks back at Shauna to make sure her friend is watching as she leaves the dance on her way to sleep with Travis; to make sure she cares. Just like she did with Mari at the lake, Jackie is trying to inflame Shauna's jealousy—all the way up until the very end, right up to the moment when uncertainty becomes lost to her entirely, Jackie still holds onto hope that deep down, Shauna cares for her.

In her attic confession to Travis, Jackie contrasts friendship with love—directly after explicitly stating that she never loved Jeff.

She is very obviously talking about Shauna.

Shauna was supposed to be the one person who truly loved her. The one person who loved Jackie, not as a soccer captain (like the team did), or as just a girl (like her boyfriend did), or as the mirage of perfect daughter (like her parents did), but loved her as her, as Jackie. Shauna's journal reveals even that to be a lie.

Jackie sees now... she sees that none of it matters.

The curse of the viewer is that we see what Jackie never does. We see morning light fall on the snow, sparkling. We see Shauna fall on her knees, screaming. We see the inhabited meat shed, and the pyre, and the bacchanal, and the empty meat shed, and the bridge and the uniform and the childhood bedroom. Jackie, however, is neither prophetic nor clairvoyant; all she sees is an incomplete account of Shauna's actions. She certainly doesn't see the whole picture, can't imagine the chain of events that drove Shauna to such extremes. Jackie is hurt, not over Jeff—though he provides her with a convenient excuse to the others—but over what Shauna being willing to sleep with him says to her about how Shauna must view their friendship.

Shauna has told her that love and friendship don't matter. The romantic love Jackie knew she didn't feel for Jeff, the romantic love she believed Shauna didn't feel for her, and the platonic love she believed Shauna did; none of them mattered, none of them ever existed. Jackie shaped herself into a shell by pretending, a shell perfectly tailored to accept what Shauna was willing to give—only to find that what her friend really handed to her was rotting faster than Jackie could build the husk around it. But it's not until the night after Doomcoming that Shauna twists the knife in Jackie's heart, removing any last shred of doubt.

And that, more than anything else, is what breaks Jackie in the end; the knowledge that Shauna never cared for her.

"I'm sure everyone back home is so FUCKING sad to be losing their perfect little princess, but they'll never know how tragic, and boring, and insecure you really are. Or how high school was the best your life was EVER gonna get." "Fuck you." Shauna and Jackie. 1996, 1x10

"I don't even know who you are anymore." "Or maybe you never did." The last words Jackie and Shauna ever spoke to each other. 1996, 1x10

Jackie was trying her best, she really was. She offered Shauna her love in the form of everything she endured to keep Jeff in front of her, and therefore to keep their friendship intact. Shauna knows Jeff is her boyfriend, she knows he's off-limits, and yet she gets pregnant by him anyway. Jeff is Jackie's shield (her beard; not that she would know THAT term), her proof that all is right and she can be normal. Shauna ripped that protection away from her. From Jackie's perspective, she saw Shauna take her love, crush it underfoot, and spit right in her face. Not only does Shauna not love her back the way Jackie wants, but she doesn't love her even as a friend.

Jackie is, at this point, totally convinced that no scrap even of the friendship she was so desperately clinging to really exists. Everything she feels for Shauna is unrequited—everything except, of course, the anger and the hurt. So when her attempt to banish Shauna backfires and she is told to leave instead, Jackie listens; she walks outside to reenact the ending of Romeo & Juliet.

Jackie tried hard, so hard, not to let her baggage—her longing—ruin her most valued friendship, or push away the most important person in her life... and in the end it was all for nothing. She lost her anyway.

Or worse, she never even had her in the first place.

On her way to oblivion, Jackie dreams of being loved.

──── ◦✦◦ ────

──── ◦✦◦ ────

If you read all the way to the end here, you're the best, especially cause tumblr posts are so <--> narrow. I'm sorry for leaving things on such a downer note... but Yellowjackets do be that way.

this has been Jackie's side of things—I have a partially-written follow-up half from Shauna's perspective, but it has proven even harder to stick to some semblance of objectivity when arguing from Shauna's POV than it was for Jackie. if this one resonates with people I might refactor and finish part 2, we'll see.

in the meantime though, if you agree with my conclusions in this essay and hunger for a taste of Shauna's side, check out this "Jackie lives" fic I wrote:

featuring 4k of Tai trying to get Shauna to use her words, followed by 6k of Shauna's words! I wrote it between bouts of working on this (some snippets I cut from the Shauna section for being too un-essay-like made it in there), and it pretty much assumes everything I talk about here, both Jackie's-character-wise and jackieshauna-history-wise, holds true. except, of course, the part where Jackie stays dead lol

later haters (mari and crew)

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

I've been thinking a lot about expectations this week.

A number of years ago, when I was visiting my brother, he criticized me for not doing something that he expected me to do. It was a frustrating talk because he wasn't at all willing to hear my perspective. But what bothered me the most about it was when I said "you can just ask" and he said "I shouldn't have to".

I was doing everything culturally expected of a good guest, I didn't even know what his extra expectations were, and yet he felt entitled to be mad at me for not automatically knowing them, and not living up to them.

It can be so easy for us to let our expectations get ahead of us, to make assumptions based on our own perspectives, and to then feel let down.

And I feel like I'm seeing a lot of this kind of thing in people's experience with media these days. There seems to be a clash happening between expectations and reality. And people feeling genuinely upset when the reality is not what they wanted.

I'm seeing a lot of complaints and "critiques" that seem to fall in to the category of "this is not how I personally want this to go" or "this doesn't resonate with my personal experience".

To be clear, I'm not saying this in a pointing fingers kind of way, because I have 100% done it myself.

When the trailer for Cutie Pie first came out, I got so excited imagining Kuea as some bad boy living a double life. He was going to be so hard to tame, he was going to put Lian through the wringer, and it was going to be amazing.

What I got was something very different from what I expected, and I struggled with the show.

But it was a really valuable learning moment for me. Because everything in the trailer was in the series. It was my interpretation of it, of those few minutes out of hours of material, my assumptions about the moments not yet shown, that caused me frustration.

That was a turning point in my "let's see where the journey takes us" philosophy. And I have to say, engaging in QL has been a hell of a lot more fun since I learned to let go of what I thought should happen.

I still have critiques of shows, of course I do. Nothing is above criticism. But I don't get so personally affronted now when something doesn't do what I expect. I'm more willing to see where the destination takes us before I decide the journey isn't working.

Of course I am still human, and I still get caught off guard sometimes by expectations I didn't realize I had let slip in.

But I have found my experience immeasurably improved by considering a few things when I'm watching a series:

Am I leading with curiosity, or judgment?

What is happening here culturally? What assumptions am I making based on my own background and country of origin? What happens if I step back and look at the bigger picture of how this culture engages with media? Do I even know, or do I have more to learn?

Is this actually bad... or is it just not for me? Is this just not resonating with me? Is it making me uncomfortable? What can this discomfort tell me about myself? Is it a bad show, or just a show I need to walk away from?

Am I more focused on the story I want told, and not paying enough attention to the story that the creators of the series want to tell? What assumptions am I making about their intent?

Am I only focused on what the value is for me as an individual, and not considering how this may be making other people feel seen or be meeting their needs? Can I acknowledge that there can be inherent value in things that do not give value to me personally?

There is value in critique, but there is also importance in self-reflection and understanding why we are feeling the way that we are, and when our own setting of expectations may be playing a role.

It's funny that in some ways this seems to be a reflection of what a golden age of QL we are living in - there are so many options, and time is so scarce, that I can see why people are frustrated when they feel like a show is not living up to what they wanted.

But as someone who has lived multiple decades without this kind of media, and only relatively recently having been able to experience it...there is a lot more to be gained by reveling in what you are loving than over what you are hating.

[night-daily]

Maybe green it is your color after all | Roronoa Zoro x reader

summary: Zoro being jealous of your sudden closeness to Sanji.

warnings: none.

a/n: jealousy trope is always my favorite lol

It all started when Sanji became part of the Straw Hats, -just a week ago- You and Zoro haven't been alone together for more than 10 minutes before the cooker drags you away by your hand telling you about his new recipe without caring if you were with Zoro, your boyfriend.

But it wasn't entirely his fault, he doesn't know you have a boyfriend and it's not because you're a shame of Zoro or something like that, no, it was because you two agreed not to say a word to the crew unless it was more serious, in case of a breakup, you don't want to make things uncomfortable.

And still knowing you can't tell Sanji you have a boyfriend, it upset Zoro every time, but he would tell you about it? No, because this ugly feeling he feels in his chest anytime when he sees you laughing, smiling or just you being near to Sanji, was childish, well, at least for him.

Zoro thought he could get rid of the feeling in a few days, but a week? A man like Zoro has his limits.

To be honest, Sanji's flirt didn't bother you at all, because to you, it was all a silly game. Sometimes it was even nice to hear his compliments, you've to give him credit, he was very creative with those, everytime he made you crack a smile or a laugh, but never blush or feeling nervous, the only man who can do that, was your Zoro.

But Zoro doesn't seem to realize the effect he has on you. Only looking at your way it was enough to make your heart race like crazy.

“So, what's going on between you and the cooker? You two seem very close” You lifted your eyes from the book you're reading, a puzzle look on your face, what was he talking about? “Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, Princess” He snickered the nickname. Walking closer at his hammock where you've been lying down.

And hearing the nickname suddenly made sense to you. Sanji has been calling you Princess recently around everyone. Saying your beauty was exceptional and that you should be treated as such.

“Oh well, don't you think I'm like a Princess?” You try to joke but seeing his tense body as he stands in front of you maybe wasn't a good idea.

He frowns, it's not the answer he wanted to hear from you. It was too hard for you to say 'The cooker? That ugly man? Ugh, I just feel pity and disgust for him, nothing more'

“Of course you're a Princess” He leans down to be on the same level as you, “but you're my Princess, not his” “Zoro, are you jea—” And he kiss away whatever thing you're gonna say.

You're trapped between his lips and the hammock and you wouldn't prefer it any other way. But a knock on the door it's enough to make you jump out of your place, pushing Zoro with both hands as he groans in frustration.

“Hey Princess, you awake? I'm waiting for you” And speaking of the devil...

Zoro scoffs, “We are awake, what you want?” He says opening the door. Sanji doesn't seem surprised to see you together alone in the same room. In fact, his grin grows on his face as he takes in your figure. You hair a little messy and flushed cheeks, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

While the swordsman is glaring him with hate. He blocks Sanji's view with his body. “Sanji, could you uh, wait for me? I'll be with you in a few minutes” Your voice is heard behind Zoro.

“Sure, take your time” and Sanji whispers something that only Zoro can hear, “After all you're gonna be with me the rest of the night, Princess” Sanji closes the door and Zoro is fuming. Oh, he's so gonna kill that damn cooker.

“Are you okay?” He snaps out of his bubble, feeling your hand on his chest. “I just can't believe it, he had the audacity to ask you out while I was here with you, he can't read the fucking room?” “You're jealous? I've never seen you that mad before” “The fuck I am” Brow arched, taking your hand of out his chest, you say “So I guess you won't mind if I go with him right now?”

At your words he takes your hand back to his chest, holding it there, “I'm—, I just don't trust him” He sighs, “But you trust me?” Nodding, he squeezes your hand, “Then you don't have to worry, I only want you, okay? You own my heart, Zoro. I'm entirely yours.” Bringing his hand up to your lips you place a kiss on it.

“So I better hurry up, I promised Sanji I would help him with the dinner tonight” Even if he still doesn't like the idea of you and Sanji spending time together, your words have made the uneasy feeling on his chest disappear and now a new feeling is there, confidence.

And confidence is a dangerous feeling as jealousy.

You walk faster to the kitchen which wasn't far from the quarters, and there was Sanji with the rest of the crew, chatting and laughing. When they heard your footsteps they all looked at you like they knew something about you that you didn't.

“You forgot something” Zoro's voice startled you, he was behind you, “what—” And once again, Zoro cuts you off with a kiss. He grabs you by your waist, tugging you close to deepen the kiss. It definitely catches you off guard. A little noise of surprise comes from you.

Then he pulls away, the only sound in the kitchen is the sound of the two of you trying to catch your own breathes. And just like that he let you standing there, dumbfounded.

He sits with the rest of the crew, drinking one of the beers.

“Pay y'all, I told you they're dating” Nami exclaims excitedly but you don't know if is for the money? Your relationship? You're not sure but you're happy they know about You and Zoro, your boyfriend.

[mythmash]

Bouncer!Sukuna AU Pt. 11 - Tattoos

Bouncer!Sukuna x Stripper/Dancer!Reader. Warnings: MDNI 18+, bullet point fic, uncle!sukuna, tattoos, misogyny, minor blood & violence, some nudity A/N: this is a collaborative work made with the amazing @pastelbunnelby, @pastelpixies & @chaoskrakenuwu Series Masterlist || Previous |

Sukuna is some how so easy and so fucking hard to shop for because the best thing you can get for him is sex and he's not shy about telling you that

As much as you love him and having sex with him, you do actually want to get him something that will last in a way that getting bent over the counter, desk, tv stand, etc won't

So you surprise him by bringing him to some old school, rough and edgy tattoo shop (because that seemed like the kind of place he'd enjoy)

He's confused because he has plenty of tattoos?

He wasn't planning on getting more, do you think he needs more?

Please don't tell him you want one of those cheesy couples tattoos

He loves you, but that's where he draws the line

He'll never admit it, but he kinda has a whole don't fuck with me aesthetic going and while he wouldn't mind letting you choose his next tattoo, he wants to make sure it won't mess up his look first

But nope!

You throw him for a loop by telling him he's only here for support while you get a tattoo

You won't tell him what it is or where you're getting it but he is very interested

But you guys walk in and things immediately start to go downhill

At first everyone assumes you guys are here for Sukuna, and they don't really believe you when you try to correct them until Sukuna makes it clears he's only here to sit with you

The artist keeps looking at Sukuna, and talking to him about you and your tattoo and Sukuna is ignoring him because he doesn't know anything about your tattoo

But the guy just refuses to acknowledge you

When the artist shows you the stencil, it's clear he's made some changes and you're not entirely happy with it but he keeps. talking. over. you.

You let it go and Sukuna doesn't say anything, but he notices you're getting frustrated

The artist also changes the placement after looking at you (for far too long for either of your liking)

He makes rude comments about how much skin you're showing or how much Sukuna must enjoy your services since he's paying for a tattoo for you

Sukuna is, in fact, not paying

Sukuna asks if you're sure about this, but you're stubborn and you really want to do this with and for him so you deal with it

The problem is-

It's an underboob/rib cage tattoo

And as soon as you take your shirt off, the guy is ogling you so much it makes you more uncomfortable than some of the club clients

You don't want Sukuna to see the design yet so you walk across the shop with the artist and he's too touchy when he's putting the stencil on and smirking when you squirm

You get back to Sukuna and you're quieter, sticking close to him, and Sukuna snaps at the artist asking what happened

The guys blows him off

"You know how women are."

Sukuna gets in the guy's face and the guy is getting pissy until you pull Sukuna away and tell him to leave it alone, but you can tell he's itching to punch something (or someone)

You and Sukuna know you have a pretty good pain tolerance (you kinda have to with him) but this guy is clearly butthurt because the first two lines have you squeezing your fists until you almost draw blood

He brushes you off when you say it hurts or when you ask for a quick break to adjust and you really try to power through it

Until he digs in to a certain spot in your ribs and you actually start to tear up

Sukuna's pulling the guy off of you, tossing you his keys and telling you to wait in the car while he's already stalking toward this guy

You happily put your shirt on and go outside

It's a while before Sukuna comes out and he's a mess of blood and cuts and bruises and tattoo ink

He gets in the car, takes a deep breath, and asks if you're okay

You burst into tears

You're upset and frustrated and feeling icky and pissed off because you just wanted to do something sweet for him and the tattoo was going to be so cool but the stupid artist ruined it and ruined the day and you're so sorry

Sukuna is...not the best when it comes to comforting you, but he hates seeing you cry so he takes you home to clean you both up and carefully tends to your barely started tattoo

He makes dinner and he's a little gentler when he fucks you that night

A few weeks later, he takes you out to breakfast before taking you to meet an apparent "friend" of his

This friend turns out to be his tattoo artist with their own private studio in their really clean, white, kinda minimalist apartment

It's airy with a ton of natural light and perfectly maintained plants and expensive art that gives it little pops up color and not at all what you'd expect from a friend of Sukuna's

Uraume is not very talkative and weirdly extreme in their professionalism but they're nice to you

Everything goes way smoother this time

Uraume listens to what you want, lets you take breaks when you need it, and has great line work with a really light hand

They also keep Sukuna away by making him get you snacks and water the plants while they work to not ruin the surprise

In a way, they make you feel closer to Sukuna

Tattooing can be such a personal thing, and he and Uraume obviously respect each other

Uraume is probably the closest thing he has to a friend, enough that Sukuna's trusts them around you

Knowing that he brought you here, into this part of his life, makes you realize a little more just how much you mean to him

And you can see why he chose Uraume because the tattoo comes out so perfect

You're so ecstatic you can't help but hug Uraume when you see the finished product

They're not blushing what are you talking about

You finally show Sukuna the slightly more elegant replica of his tattoos across your ribs and he's grinning like the cat that ate the canary

Seeing his markings on your skin is so hot

Seeing you happy about it is so hot

Seeing this level of commitment of loyalty from you is so hot

Sukuna has no shame so he doesn't care if Uraume notices that he's hard

Uraume is exasperatedly asking for you two to "Please get out of my apartment."

Sukuna never really gets used to seeing the tattoo

He stares at it every time he sees it

Making you take your time when you change your clothes

Spending extra time tracing the lines with his tongue when he has you naked

Watching you a little too hard when you're dancing because the lines just flow so gracefully with your movement

The other dancers start placing bets on how long it'll be before he interrupts one of your dances to carry you off stage

[diabolicalworldwriter]

Jesus, I just got to the point in Words of Radiance where Kal is in prison and Dalinar basically says "You're not going to end racism by being radical and acting upset about it. You can't just expect us to treat you like an equal because you're not one. Play nice and maybe the racists will grow to respect you"

I.

Buddy what the fuck

In general I think I've found that I'm... Not as fond of Dalinar as I used to be. Don't get me wrong, he does some great things and he's constantly trying to improve and I appreciate that. Flawed characters make stories interesting and I think Brandon does a fantastic job of writing him. However, he is overly strict and judgemental (Still not forgiving him for hating on Adolin for trying to express himself a bit more through style in ROW; let my boy dress up a bit if he wants), he struggles to accept other ways of doing things (we could look to Adolin again, being "too friendly" with those he commands and Dalinar going "noooo they might respect you less if they think you see them as an equal individual"), and while he talks about how he wants to change how everything works, if someone tries to defy convention in a way he doesn't approve of he shuts them down. (Kaladin pointing out very fair issues with how dark eyes are punished severely and light eyes get away with everything only to be talked down at until he shut up and fell in line, for example.) He wants change and has power to bring it about but won't do anything too radical for it, I guess, and that frustrates me. He tends to support systems as long as they work for his own goals, even if they're still exploitative and deeply unjust, while also complaining that everyone else is being exploitative and unjust. I dislike that he acts like he's doing Kaladin such a favor by treating him as almost an equal. "I'm sticking my neck out by treating you like a human, act civil and don't try to speak too loudly about the injustices yet, you might make the others uncomfortable." Dalinar isn't like other light eyes, he's so quirky and different and sometimes acts a bit less classist and racist!!! Aren't we lucky!! Idk maybe I'm stating my point a bit too strongly but damn. He's giving "yeah I'm a stubborn old man but really I'm quite progressive, I don't even go out of my way to hate crime people"

Words of Radiance, while I enjoy it, is rather difficult to get through because it's just so many main characters who I generally appreciate being awful to/supporting or ignoring awful behavior towards Kaladin and if he reacts they're like ":0000 how dare he attack first" (I appreciate Zahel chewing out Adolin for antagonizing and then fighting Kal in shardplate because goddamn Adolin I love you but that sucked.)

I'm finding Elhokar a lot more unlikeable on this reread as well. He's meant to be unlikeable of course, so good job on that, but Jesus he can be the worst. Honestly standing beside my past thoughts that what Moash did wrong was not in turning on the system that oppresses him and all the dark eyes, but just that he knowingly hurt Kaladin and other people who cared about him repeatedly and severely to do so.

I'm on board with killing horrible leaders (especially if it seems the only way to remove them and stop them from causing harm: people shouldn't have to suffer and die as part of a leader's learning curve and character growth, and going "they're working on it" when people are actively suffering is garbage. I'm still sad at Elhokar's death but I'm not sad that he's no longer king) but I draw the line at abusing and killing one's friends and I am just hoping he comes to terms with what he has done wrong and improves in book five.

Anyways that was long and scattered I'm sorry lmao you should have heard my rant to my poor cousin, I was rambling for like half an hour.

[familyvideostevie]

hiiiii can I please have a little birthday blurb with Steve Harrington? very fluffy, just him being the best boyfriend and loving his birthday girl (today is my birthday and I'm a bit lonely 😞)

hello i don't think it is your birthday anymore but i hope you had a nice day in the end!! here is something short and sweet about steve making his way home to you <3 | steve makes his way home to you on your birthday, fluff, fem!reader, 0.7k

"Don't be mad," Steve says as soon as you pick up the phone. "Oh, shit. Happy birthday!"

You laugh because, well, what an absurd thing for him to say. Also, he said happy birthday to you as soon as you woke up this morning. And again after that. And again, when he brought you breakfast in bed. "Okay," you say. "I won't be mad. Can you tell me what I won't be mad about?"

It's a surprise to hear from him. He left pretty early this morning and he's meant to be on his way home after picking up Robin at school because...well, it's your birthday. And while you're not even meant to know that he's gone to get her for a surprise party, Steve has never been good at hiding things from you.

"We're going to be late," he sighs. There's a thud, a sound like he's smacked his fist against something. "My tire popped once we got on 70 so we're still in Ohio."

You twirl the phone cord around your finger. He doesn't sound upset, more annoyed than anything, so you assume he's okay. "So...you're telling me, why?"

It's like you can hear his frown through the phone. "Because by the time we get back, it'll be time for the, uh, thing." He coughs. "And we were supposed to get lunch or whatever you wanted. Since it's your birthday."

"Oh," you say, smiling. "For my surprise party that you told me about? That thing?"

Steve groans. "Yes, that thing. Jesus, it's not my fault you have like, puppy dog eyes or whatever. And you were so sad last week that no one was around to do something! I had to tell you!"

He's right. A quiet birthday is no big deal, not at all. A night in with Steve, dinner and a movie, anything at all, you're grateful for it. But you do like to spend time with your friends and while birthdays and the attention that comes with them make you kind of uncomfortable, it is nice to feel celebrated.

So he caved and told you that there had been a plan in the works for weeks. One that necessitated him driving to Ohio to get Robin.

"Dude, give me a second. I'm on the phone with my girlfriend," you hear Steve say, a little muffled. "The nerve of some people," he says into the receiver to you.

"Don't terrorize the people waiting for the payphone, Steve," you admonish. "Are you guys at a mechanic or something?"

He sighs again. One of the funnier things about Steve is his impatience. He's not rude, exactly, but he likes things to get done and for them to get done right. That's why you're not really bothered about this -- he'll come home to you, your friend in tow, and you'll have a fun night. He's more frustrated with himself than you will ever be.

"Yeah," he says. "Luckily it went flat slow and I pulled off. Should be back on the road soon. If Robin could just pick a snack!" He raises his voice at the end and you think you hear your friend's loud laugh some ways away.

"Don't rush on my account," you tell him. "Drive safe and you'll get here when you get here. And I'll be waiting."

"I just..." Steve sucks on his teeth. "I'm sorry, birthday girl." His voice is softer. "I didn't want you to spend all day waiting around for me."

"You're going to get here," you say. "And you're going to kiss me and take me out for my birthday with all of our friends. And then we'll come home and celebrate just the two of us."

"Are you flirting with me over the phone?" he asks. You can hear his smirk. "That's kind of hot."

Someone says something in the background and Steve harrumphs. "Yeah, yeah, okay. I gotta go," he sighs. "I will see you soon, okay? I love you."

Your stomach flips. It's not the first time he's said it but it's still kind of new and it makes you feel warm all over.

"I love you, too, Steve. Drive safe!" The phone clicks. Yeah, okay, a few hours on your own on your birthday aren't exactly what you wanted, but you didn't lie to Steve. He'll be home in a bit with a hug and many kisses and then you'll go to the roller rink and have a great night. The thought of it makes you smile because no matter how loved you are, it never really gets old.

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, masterlist here!

[alouiadina]

Hangster oneshot ideas (pick whatever inspires you)

1) Bradley is upset and Jake acts like a complete goofball to cheer him up

2) It's 3 AM and you're blasting loud music and your music taste is great but I HAVE PLACES TO BE TOMORROW, YOU JERK

Title: Anniversary

Word count: 1,860

Bradley seemed to have woken up in a bad mood. 

Jake could practically feel the tension radiating off of him. He had barely said two words to Jake after they had both woken up, and when he asked Bradley if he was okay, all he got was a noncommittal shrug and a mumbled "yeah."

It was now a few hours later, and Bradley hadn't said more than a sentence to him the entire morning, and even then it had only been one word answers.

Jake couldn't help but worry. This wasn't like Bradley at all. Normally, if something was bothering him, Jake would use his usual tactics of corny jokes and funny stories to try and cheer him up. And if all else failed, he would make a complete fool of himself just to get Bradley to laugh.

Jake playfully nudged Bradley and flashed a mischievous grin. "Hey BradBrad," he teased. "Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?"

Bradley's response was a withering glare before he turned to walk away. Undeterred, Jake quickly followed after him. "Because it was two tired!" he called out, a small hint of desperation creeping into his voice.

This time, Bradley stopped in his tracks and turned to face him. But instead of the usual smirk or eye roll that greeted Jake's jokes, Bradley's expression remained stoic and unamused. "That wasn't funny," he deadpanned.

Jake's smile faltered slightly, but he refused to give up. "Oh come on," he persisted, his voice filled with determination and a hint of desperation. "It was hilarious!" 

But Bradley's expression remained stoic and unchanging, a blank look still fixed on his face. Jake couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment.

"Alright," Jake sighed, determined to make Bradley crack a smile. "That one didn't work, let me try another." He cleared his throat dramatically. "What does the nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business."

But even this witty pun failed to elicit a reaction from Bradley, who simply turned around and walked away once again. Jake trailed after him persistently, determined to make him crack a smile at least once. 

"Okay okay," he conceded. "That one didn't work either. How about this one: did you hear about the guy that got hit on the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink." 

Jake waited expectantly for Bradley's response, hoping that this time he would finally break through his defenses and make him laugh.

Bradley turned around to look at him, and his gaze was icy and piercing, making Jake feel like he had struck a nerve. "Go away, Jake," Bradley seethed, his voice laced with annoyance and frustration. Jake could feel the tension between them growing thicker by the second.

"Oh come on," Jake chuckled nervously. "Don't tell me you're not laughing at any of those." 

But Bradley's glare only intensified, leaving Jake feeling like he was walking on thin ice. He shifted uncomfortably as Bradley's cold and final tone seeped into his bones. "I said go away," Bradley repeated, his words sharp and cutting.

Feeling rejected, Jake took a small step back as Bradley shoved past him, his shoulders hunched and his face twisted with frustration. "Just leave me alone, I'm not in the mood."

"Bradley-" Jake started, wanting to explain himself, but was cut off by Bradley's angry outburst.

"Just shut up already, Jake!" Bradley interrupted, his eyes flashing with anger. "I don't want to hear anymore of your stupid jokes or stories or whatever the fuck else you're gonna say. Just leave me the fuck alone."

"Bradley, listen, I-"

"No, you listen," Bradley interrupted him, his eyes narrowing. "Just because you think you're so fucking funny doesn't mean you have to try and force your jokes onto everyone else, alright?"

Feeling hurt and confused, Jake took another step back as Bradley continued to berate him. "But I just wanted to-"

"I don't care what you wanted," Bradley snapped, his voice laced with irritation. "Stop trying to be so damn funny all the time. It's annoying as hell and I'm not fucking laughing."

And with that final insult hurled at him, Bradley stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him with such force that it shook the walls.

Stunned and unsure of how to process this sudden outburst, Jake stood rooted to the spot, his mind racing. What had he done wrong?

He tried to recall the last twenty-four hours, trying to pinpoint exactly what he had done wrong. But the more he thought about it, the more confused and hurt he felt. Had he done something to upset Bradley? Was he not supposed to tell jokes today?

Frustrated, he let out a small sigh and sat down on the couch, staring at the floor as he tried to collect his thoughts. He hated seeing Bradley upset like this. Maybe he should apologize.

A nagging voice in his mind suggested that he should just leave Bradley alone. Maybe he didn't need Jake's constant presence. But the thought of not being there for Bradley made Jake's heart ache.

He glanced towards the front door, feeling torn between giving Bradley space and wanting to check on him. What if he was making things worse?

After what felt like an eternity of wallowing in self-doubt and guilt, Jake pulled out his phone and dialed Bradley's number. It went straight to voicemail, causing a wave of panic to surge through Jake.

Jake's voice trembled as he spoke into the phone, his heart heavy with worry. "Hey, BradBrad, it's me, Jake," he said, trying to keep his voice steady. "Um... I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to upset you. I was just trying to cheer you up. Please call me when you get this."

As Jake ended the call, a gnawing sense of unease settled in his chest, weighing heavy on his heart. 

Time dragged on slowly, an eternity passing with each second that ticked by. Agonizing worry consumed Jake, leaving little room for anything else in his mind.

Unable to shake off the creeping anxiety, Jake found himself dialing Bradley's number again. His voice was strained and laced with concern as he spoke into the phone.

"Hey, it's me," he said, trying to keep his voice steady. "Look, Bradley, I really am sorry. And...I'm starting to get really worried. Please just call me back and let me know you're alright. I love you."

Jake hung up the phone and slumped, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm his racing thoughts. But the worry and helplessness still lingered, clinging to him like a suffocating fog.

Another hour passed, and still nothing from Bradley. Jake was beginning to panic. What if something had happened to him? Without a moment's hesitation, he frantically punched in Bradley's number once more.

"Hey, it's me, again," Jake repeated, his voice laced with worry. 

"Where the fuck are you, Bradley? Please, please answer me," Jake pleaded, his voice trembling with fear. As the call went straight to voicemail, Jake's panic intensified. He could feel his chest tightening, his breaths coming in short gasps. Tears threatened to spill down his cheeks as a sense of helplessness washed over him.

"I don't know what to do. Just call me back and let me know that you're okay," he continued, desperation creeping into his tone. "I love you," he whispered before ending the call.

Closing his eyes, Jake took a deep breath and buried his head in his hands. He sat there for what felt like an eternity, lost in his own despair.

"Bradley, where the fuck are you?"

Jake didn't know what to do.

Each passing minute felt like an eternity, and the hours dragged on like endless days. He was about to call Maverick when he heard the front door open.

"Jake, I'm home."

Relief flooded through him as he looked up to see Bradley standing in the doorway, looking slightly disheveled and exhausted. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, but other than that, he appeared unharmed. Jake's legs moved on their own accord as he rushed towards his partner, enveloping him in a tight embrace. 

"You're okay," Jake whispered, holding Bradley close as if afraid to let go. "Thank god you're okay. I was so fucking worried about you. You weren't answering my calls, and I didn't know where you were, and I was so fucking scared, and-"

"Jake," Bradley interrupted him. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. You were only trying to make me feel better, and I was being a dick, and-"

"It's fine," Jake replied softly, reaching out to take Bradley's hand in his own. He could feel the tension in Bradley's grip, the tremble of his fingers. "You were just having a bad day. I should apologize too, I shouldn't have tried to get you to laugh when you clearly weren't in the mood. I was just trying to be there for you, and I guess I didn't realize that it was just making things worse."

A somber smile graced Bradley's lips as he pulled Jake in for another hug. "You were just trying to cheer me up," he said sadly, his voice cracking with emotion.

Jake held him tight and then pulled away, giving Bradley a concerned look. "What was it that was bothering you so much today? Did something happen?"

Bradley hesitated, his eyes flickering nervously around the room. After a moment, he spoke softly. "Yeah, um... It's just... Today is the day my mother died." He swallowed hard and looked down at his hands. "I guess I wasn't really in the mood to be cheered up."

"Oh." Jake's own eyes widened as the realization hit him like a punch to the gut. "Shit, that's today? I didn't- I'm sorry. I didn't know, I shouldn't have-" His words stumbled over each other as he scrambled for an apology.

"Jake," Bradley cut him off gently, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's okay. Really. It's not your fault, you didn't know. You were just trying to make me feel better."

"But if I had known, then I wouldn't have-" Jake's voice caught in his throat.

"I know," Bradley replied calmly, his voice filled with empathy. "Which is why I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that. It wasn't fair of me to take out my grief on you." He paused for a moment before continuing, "I'm sorry."

A small smile tugged at Jake's lips as he squeezed Bradley's hand gently. "Hey, it's okay. You're hurting and I understand that. I forgive you."

Bradley gave him a small smile back, and squeezed his hand in return.

"You know," Jake said softly. "If you ever want to talk about her, or about anything, you can always talk to me. I'm here for you."

"Thanks, Jake," Bradley replied, a genuine smile crossing his lips. "But, right now, I just want to sit on the couch with you, and watch a shitty movie, and eat some ice cream."

"That," Jake chuckled, pulling Bradley closer and wrapping an arm around his waist. "I can definitely do."

[ddejavvu]

camboy Bradley figuring out that his shy girl is dying for him to ask her to stream with him 🥵

today is multiverse monday! send me any au you can think of :)

this post is 18+, minors dni.

"Just a quick one today," Bradley promises, leaning over the back of the chair that you're curled up in and pressing a firm kiss to your cheek. His mustache grates against your skin but his lips are softer, leaving behind a sticky mark that cools when he backs away.

His camera is under his arm, cord trailing after it. You swallow what little saliva is in your mouth as you think about what it's going to record, and you'd be lying if you said you weren't thinking about watching it from downstairs.

Bradley notices your lack of response, as well as the way you stiffen at his words. You've never judged or belittled him for his hobby, in fact, you always look pleasantly surprised when he spoils you with the income from it. In short, there's something wrong.

"Everything okay?" He stays hunched over the chair from behind, his arm crossed over your chest. He smooths it down your stomach and leaves it resting there with another fond kiss to your cheek.

"Yeah!" You answer a little too eagerly, turning your face so that you can kiss him properly. It's overzealous in appearance, but as he tries to deepen it ever-so-slightly, you balk.

"Are you sure?" He breaks away to nudge his nose with yours, "You seem a little tense."

You're panicking. You've watched Bradley's livestreams before, under the cover of a blanket on the chair. From the minute he'd grabbed the camera images of past livestreams had been flashing through your head, enough to get you hot and bothered beneath the flannel. Now he's all over you, his lips dotting kisses against your cheekbone, and the kiss had only made it worse.

"Really, I'm okay." You laugh breathily, "This book is just getting really good."

He glances down at what you're reading: a textbook.

"Right," He deadpans, crouching beside the chair and staring imploringly up at you. His big brown eyes are dripping with concern, damn him, and his lips settle in a frown.

"You don't have to tell me what's wrong," He bargains, reaching for your hand that's resting on the arm of the chair, "But please don't lie to me. I know something's wrong, I know you, and you're upset."

"I'm not upset," You shake your head earnestly, "Really, Bradley, it's not- upset isn't right."

"What is it, then?" He squeezes your hand, gently but firm, "You can tell me, honey."

"i..." You stammer, eyes flitting around the living room for a possible explanation, "I- I can't."

"Yes you can," He promises, raising your hand to his lips to press an encouraging kiss to the back of it, "You don't have to, but you can."

"I want to," You gush, cheeks on fire, "I just- I can't, it's embarrassing!"

"Embarrassing," He snorts, standing once more to hover over you. His hand slips from your own and cups your cheek, tilting your face up towards him with a cheeky grin, "Remember yesterday when I tripped over my own shoe? Can't be more embarrassing than that. Plus," His voice takes a more sincere tone, brows dipping in worry, "You know I'd never make fun of you, right?"

"I know." You nod, contemplating your options, "I know, I just- I don't know."

His frown only deepens. He readjusts the camera in his hand, holding it up tentatively, "It's, uh, it's not about my stream, is it? Because if it makes you uncomfortable or anything like that, I can-"

"No!" You, once again, give yourself away by answering too quickly, shaking your head so hard that the blanket shifts where it's thrown over your shoulders.

You can practically see his heart sink.

"Honey," He sets the camera on the side table, bracing his hands on the arms of the chair and leaning down, face inches away from yours as his shoulders bunch up by his ears, "I'm sorry. Really, if I had known you weren't cool with it..."

"I am cool with it," You insist, tears of frustration welling in your eyes. You suppose cool doesn't exactly fit hot and bothered, but the last thing you want is him thinking you're judging him, "Really, Bradley, I'm cool with it. I think it's good, I- I mean, you seem to really like it. And so do I. Like- Like, I like that you like it."

You're only making things worse. Bradley's never heard you this flustered before, and his guilty expression doesn't change as you blabber on. You have a feeling he's beating himself up inside, and, finally succumbing to the solution, you lean forward to nudge his nose with yours.

Your mouth moves at the speed of light, words strung together like erratic christmas lights, "I like them a lot and I watch when you film them and I-dunno-but-I-really-thought-about-maybe-doing-one-with-you-this-time-but-it's-okay-if-you-don't-want-to-because-"

The angle is awkward, but he manages to press his lips to yours. It's sloppy, not exactly the perfect kiss, but it does its job and shuts you up. Your eyes fly open wide and lock with his, crinkled at the corners with amusement.

"Sorry," He breathes, breaking away, "I had to cut you off."

"I'm sorry," You groan, leaning away to knock your head against the back of the chair, "I wasn't going to tell you! You just looked so worried and I didn't want you to think that I was upset with you or anything, so I just blurted it out."

"It's okay," Bradley chases your face, bumping his nose with yours, "I think it's cute you wanna join."

His words aim to tease, and they do. You flush even hotter, eyes squeezing shut as he laughs long and loud.

"Bradley," You grumble, "Don't make fun of me."

"I'm not making fun of you!" He insists, lips puckering against your nose, "I promise, honey, I think you'd do great on camera."

"Really?" You glance up at him, peeking your eyes open only a fraction, "You mean it?"

"I swear by it," He nods once, huffily, "Everyone'll looove you. Hell, I say your name enough when I cum they probably worship you too."

[kittievampire]

Kin of the Demon Prince (pt. 7)

Warnings: Cursing, Angst, MC is a fuckin unit, Mention of abortion, Female MC, Single Mom MC, MC x Diavolo

Link to part 1

Link to part 2

Link to part 3

Link to part 4

Link to part 5

Link to part 6

Link to part 8

Link to part 9

Enjoy.

The silence that filled the room was uncomfortable, almost.

The both of you could tell that the other was hurting, that the other was bitter, but both believed it to be for different reasons. Reasons far from the truth of the matter.

You met his gaze, trying to seem as indifferent as possible. This resulted in your eyebrows scrunching upward, however, to express your upset. "I don't think there's anything to talk about, Diavolo." You kept your voice soft, as to not scare either the child in your arms or her father beside you. "While I am curious as to why you were there, I don't think it's information I need to know, do I?"

Diavolo sighed softly at your tone, already becoming a little frustrated. "MC, please, just listen to what I have to say. I understand you're upset at me, but this is more than just a lover's quarrel—" He motioned toward Selene— "We have our daughter to consider."

You scoffed at his statement. "Our daughter? Our? You weren't there when she was born. You weren't there these past few months, what suddenly makes her your daughter as well?" You could feel his frustration, and a feeling of relief presented itself to you. It felt nice knowing that he felt in this moment what you felt this past year.

"I wasn't there because I wasn't given much of a choice." "Yeah, I bet. The all-powerful Demon Prince doesn't have the power to see his own daughter? That sounds right. I totally forgive you," You spat, venom and sarcasm laced in your words that poked and pulled at his heart. His tired, sore, and wounded heart. "MC, I'm trying to have a conversation with you, could you stop focusing on how upset you are with me for a moment?"

Your gaze shifted down to the child in your arms. You were so angry at him, but he was right. You had Selene to consider in this situation, you can't afford to be selfish. If there was a chance that Selene could have a father figure in her life, you were not going to be the one to take that away from her. She would not be forced to live her life like that. Not if you could help it at least. Maybe you could try and convince him to be there, even if it has to be as a co-parent.

Maybe there was still a chance.

Diavolo took your silence as permission to speak, finally. He let out a small sigh and shifted in his seat. "MC, I know that things between us are... Iffy. But, before we get into that, I want to talk to you about Selene, okay?" His soft tone didn't falter as he spoke.

Slowly, you nodded, gently stroking Selene's red hair as she closed her eyes. Diavolo swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, biting his lip and looking up at you. "I want to be a part of Selene's life. I don't know what made you think I was unfit, but I swear to you, I will do whatever it takes to prove that I'm worthy of being her father. Please don't take her away from me."

The amount of emotion you heard behind his words made you snap your head toward him immediately, face pale with a look of shock present. "You..." You paused, trying to gather your thoughts so they didn't come out jumbled and unorganized. "You want to be a part of her life?" You asked softly, body beginning to tremble a little.

Diavolo nodded. "Yes, MC. I want to be there for my daughter no matter what. I know that you don't want me around, but I can't sentence her to the life I was forced to live, having only one parent." He bit his lip once more, dragging a palm along his face as he tried to keep himself composed. "My mother died giving birth to me. My father went crazy, and his strictness and overprotective nature left me bitter and lonely. I'm sure anyone else in my position would've resented him for such a thing," He said, gold eyes slowly shifting to look at the sleeping infant in your arms. "I don't want her to grow up despising either one of us. If we can fix this enough to where we can agree to, at the very least, co-parent, I want to try."

The look in his eyes made your heart swell. The sheer desperation you saw in him to be a part of your child's life, to be her father, put your mind at ease for a moment. "Dia," Diavolo shifted a little at the nickname, relieved to hear it after all this time. "Dia, Solomon told me that... You wanted nothing to do with me when you found out I was pregnant," You explained, not breaking eye contact with the demon before you.

The red-head flinched, quickly grasping one of your hands with both of his. "No! My darling, MC, I would never ever leave you, let alone leave you with my baby. Our baby." He reached up to gently tuck a few strands of your hair behind your ear. "I may be a demon, but I am not that heartless." He looked down for a moment, now recalling the conversation that he and the sorcerer had a year ago. "He... Told me you were the one who wanted to call it off," He said, looking up and meeting your gaze once more.

You shook your head immediately. "No! That's not true! Lucifer told me that he said I'd gotten rid of the baby, is that true as well?" You asked. Diavolo nodded, making you let out a small sigh in frustration. "That sorcerer is a liar and a fucking psycho. I would never get rid of our baby!" You argued, holding Selene close to you. The red-head quickly pulled an index finger to his lips, glancing down at the sleeping baby in your arms before looking back up at you.

Slowly, both hands came to gently cup your face, one of his thumbs wiping away a single tear that had fallen from your eye. A small smile appeared on his face as his own eyes began to well up. He let out a small sigh, closing his eyes for a moment. "I'm just glad that the both of you are okay," He said, gently resting his forehead against yours. "I don't know what I would've done, had I lost both of you forever."

You swallowed the lump that had begun to form in your throat, allowing a few more tears to slip from your eyes as you raised your hand to gently cup one of his. "Dia—" Your hand began to shake while holding his— "Do you... Uhm..." You felt like you were confessing for the first time again. Here you were, a sputtering mess, while Diavolo sat there expectantly with a small smile on his face. "Yes, MC?" He asked softly, bringing himself just a little bit closer. Close enough to make you blush like a schoolgirl.

You sighed, glancing down at Selene. Everything was so different now. Different factors in the equation that you hadn't thought would be there, some you hadn't thought would be there so soon, were things you had to consider.

"Do you still love me?"

The demon prince leaned forward, turning your head with one of his hands to face him as he locked his lips with yours. The kiss was warm and passionate, something you'd been craving this past year.

It made you wonder how you could ever believe that this demon didn't love you.

As his lips left yours, you opened your eyes to see his looking at you lovingly. "How could I not?" He asked, lifting a hand to gently stroke your hair before looking down at Selene. "I'm going to let you rest now, My Queen. Your body still needs to recuperate. Besides, if I'm here a moment longer, I feel I won't be able to hold myself back." He looked down at Selene and stroked the small red strands of hair on her head. "I'll leave you two be. Perhaps we'll have the brothers visit."

With that, Diavolo stood and left the room, leaving you and Selene in silence.

Slowly, you adjusted yourself so you could lie down with her beside you, letting out a small sigh in bliss.

Moments like these are what made you think the world wasn't so bad after all. All the trauma you'd been forced to endure through your childhood may have been worth it.

No, it was worth it. All of it was worth it if it meant you, Diavolo, and Selene could be together. Maybe you'd even get married, make things official.

The thought made you smile.

You closed your eyes, allowing sleep to take over your senses, the dimly-lit room fading out of sight as you drifted off.

_

"Calling me a liar was expected, but calling me a psycho, too, MC? Now, that's just hurtful..."

The white-haired sorcerer stood over you and Selene, shifting his stance as he turned to glance at the door for a moment. He held out a hand, two purple glyphs forming before his palm as the door glowed, being sealed tightly with magic.

"I've tried everything I could to get you all to myself," He said, lowering his arm and shifting his gaze to look down at, seemingly, the two of you. "But, it appears I'll have to take you by force."

You stirred ever so slightly, opening your eyes a little to see the blurry image of Solomon before you. "Wha... S-Solomon?" You asked softly, placing a protective arm over Selene.

Solomon scoffed, holding out both hands toward you. "Sleep. I don't need you—" He scoffed, the spell expanding as three glyphs formed before his palm— "I was hoping she'd be older, her power more cultivated before I took her. But, I won't be picky. Demonic royal blood is still demonic royal blood, after all." He chuckled softly, another glyph appearing as the spell grew in power once more.

You had already fallen asleep, body outlined in a blue light before you stilled.

Solomon shifted his gaze to Selene. "Now then, I'll be taking you, my dear." He gently picked up Selene and held her close to him.

He held out his hand, making a cutting motion as a portal tore open in the middle of the room.

The sorcerer took a step toward the portal, taking a moment to look back at your sleeping form. He smiled, waving to no one before continuing into the portal.

"Sweet dreams, MC."

The tear in reality snapped shut.

And you were fast asleep.

Sorry if this was a bit underwhelming and short, guys. Had a lot of shit going on this past week and I had to rush it 🥲

Vote in this pole!

Tag list; @lavynne , @jessiegerl , @romaissa , @krispsprite , @unlikelysublimekryptonite , @t-misaki , @zarakem , @darkflowerav , @lloydlovebot , @lovemidnighteclipse12 , @rose-ly , @quackimilktea , @traumamakesmefunnier , @buggaboorenegade , @simpinginthecorner , @thebixchyravenclaw , @pjsflowers , @basicgukk , @blue-rae18

Likes, comments, and reblogs are welcome and appreciated!

Weekly updates!

[sweetfire01]

In your opinion, which obey me character is more likely to gove harah punishments snd light punishments

I thought of harsh and light as physical/non-physical punishment, so in my opinion we have:

Harsh: Lucifer Barbatos Satan Simeon

Beel Diavolo Solomon

Light: Mammon Asmo Belphie Levi

The harshest will surely be Lucifer and Barbatos. They are the strictest and do not accept any wrong behavior. You'd be over their knees for just being sassy towards them! Moreover, they're also the type of person who would extend the punishment for a long time. Sassy? You can keep that pacifier tied in your mouth all day, you're not ready to talk. Try to punch them (Ah! You dumb!) ? Hopefully you'll like your new mittens because they won't be taking them off any time soon. Only then they know you've learned your lesson and will act like a good baby.

Satan would be harsh too, though not so often. After all, he's the one pushing you to be a brat most of the time, just to annoy Lucifer. But you want to piss him off instead? Then, after the punishment, you'll be the one pissed. Literally.

Simeon can be very patient, but he has limits too! He try a lighter approach first, explaining you why what you did was wrong. It's his duty as a Daddy and as an angel! But if you still don't listen to him, he'll have no problem resorting to physical punishment, whether it's spanking or caning your hands. There will be something on the fic 👀.

I put Diavolo and Beel separate from the others for one simple reason. They are afraid to use their strength on you. And indeed they are also right. These two are HUGE and if they don't control themselves they could REALLY, REALLY hurt you. A single slap on your butt is enough to make it red. The positive note? It only takes that to make you behave yourself again.

And Solomon doesn't like to harm you, but he is a wizard and he can come up with various uncomfortable punishments. From locking you in an invisible box and watching you grow frustrated, to casting a spell on food so that what you're eating tastes disgusting (Maybe that would make his cooking better), to taking away your voice or weakening your muscles. It's not as bad as getting spanked by an enchanted brush, but not so mild as to make you walk away with a scolding.

For the lighter approach, we obviously have Mammon. If you scare him, for example by going out at night, he might be upset enough to smack you on the butt. But as long as you shed a few tears, he will immediately apologize, hugging you and trying to calm you down. But then, you'll have to hear him ramble about how he was freacking out, how something bad could have happened to you if he wasn't there to take you home… Please, don't make this guy too upset.

Asmo will only go with light punishments, nothing physical. He is NOT leaving any bruises on your body, he would be too horrified if he did. He will use paci, booties, and mittens to punish you, perhaps even tying you to a chair. This one can also be quite bad if you have some comfort object and you can't reach for it. Asmo KNOWS how much you want your blanket or stuffie, but not now! Maybe if you listened to it in the first place, you wouldn't be punished right now, mh? Oh well, don't worry, Asmo will let you out as soon as he's done getting ready to go shopping. And he wants to hear an apology as soon as he removes your paci, m'kay?

Belphegor is always tired and now he has to punish you? No, thanks. He can manage to give you a couple of smacks if you've done something serious, but more often he will put you to sleep. It's not like you're going to get yourself into any more trouble if you're asleep, right?

Levi is probably so insecure about how to punish you, he say something like "uh, well, try not to do that again next time". The End. He doesn't know at all what he should do: He could spank you but he's afraid it's a fitting punishment, he could hurt you too much and obviously he doesn't want to make you cry. He may ask you to go to the corner, but if you tell him you don't want to…Hell, what can he do? That's why he prefers the others to handle you in these cases

[thequietkid-moonie]

Taking care of a human child

[ PLATONIC HEADCANONS ] [ 2B & 9S ]

[ NieR Automata ]

Wiuwiuwiuwiu moonie is happy moonie is happyyyyy !!! This combine two of my favorites things in all times!!! NieR Automata aaaand prompts with child reader hehe me happy

I loved it so much that i'll probably make a version with Adam and Eve soon too!!!

Meeting a human around the earth when everyone is suppoused to be in the moon was surprising enough, but meeting one that is so young it was more alarming than surprising. There were a lot of questions and worries running through 2B and 9S' minds, but they put it everything aside since they need to be quick with offering you help

If you were more scare or unwilling to talks with them is fine, they can understand, however for what they know about humans someone your age is too vulnerable and even innocent to be left alone (specially in such hostile enviroment), but if the case is that you are more extrovert, or at least willing to approach to them that will make their job way easier (even if you were more like a troublemaker its fine as long as you accept to go with them somewhere safe)

Between trying to convince you to go with them and the way towards the resistance camp 2B and 9S will have enough time to know a little more about you, 2B feels uneasy and even a little uncomfortable about being the one who ask you important things (however, if you seem to prefer her, or just being more willing to talk to her rather than with 9S she will have not other option and will try her best to don't sound so cold or harsh with her words), is more likely that is 9S who carried the conversation, making him extremely anxious because he is way to scare about making an error, offending you or even upseting you by accident while asking you, specially when he has to ask you how did you get there and where were your parents/guardians (if you were being taken care by machines and they have killed them they will probably won't forgive themselfs, even if is their job the fact that they just see them as threatens doesn't erase the fact that they have taken away the ones who were the closest things to be parents/guardians to you)

It won't be much of a surprise if you were being taking care by wild animals or even machines, but that doesn't make it less impressive, 9S is trying really hard to make you feel comfortable around them, making you to trust them enough to let them take care of you and promising to protect you (and to try to hold back his inmense curiousity since right now is not a good time to ask everything about you)

Both will make sure to learn everything they can about how humans grow up and what they need, now that they have found you they need to take care of you and teach you about the world, and, honestly, it doesn't take it much time before they started to do it because of true love and care than just because it is their job (still, they are fighting machines, they aren't made to take care a child so it will take them a while to learn to do it, even for 2B, she is confident of her skills to keep you safe from any threaten but not in her skills to be a good guardian)

Humans curiosity is know to be inmense, specially at your age, and as much as 9S find it fascinating he can't help but feel overwhelmed whenever you ask too much things, he understand your curiosity for the world but he doesn't have all the answers (or sometimes you ask things he doesn't know how to answer and get entangled in his own words), while 2B tries to help she most of the time is unable to answer because out of YoRHa and her duty she know almost nothing of the world (what makes her feel bad and a little frustrated, specially if you seem disappointed or even sad for her lack of answer)

2B and 9S tries their hardest to teach you about the new world, however since they still have misions to do they have to leave you on the resistance camp, still you'll end up learning a lot of things thanks to the androids of the resistance camp (dangerous things like all the weapons, or things that are more appropiate for your age like how to write and read, or even to expand your vocabulary). And, because of that, 2B and 9S will have mixed feelings, they feel proud because now you have more people to trust and you know more things now! but they also feel quite jealous, 9S is a little bit obvious with how he can feel displaced but will just try to win your attention back whenever he comes back or feels that you are leaving him, while 2B try to convince herself that this is the best for you not noticing how clingy she became whenever she is with you or how she sometimes insist a little to much on supervise your interactions with the rest on the camp

For a kid is normal to want to explore the world, is just that everything is so new! however this is something that worry them way to much, you are way more innocent and weaker than an android, not only you are human but a really young one so they want to keep you safe, away from all kind of danger, but at the same time they know that that isn't exactly the best for a growing human to be traped or discouraged, so they try to take you in walks from time to time, taking this time to teach you new things, this can be a relaxing quality time between you three or an absolute nightmare depending in how much energy you have and how willing you are to just follow your heart and run around, touching everything your little curious hands want to feel

It is posible that you get to see them fight more than once, no matter how much it worried them it happen, but you can react in diferent ways, if it scare you they will try to expose you less to the battles, even trying to hide you before they have to start fighting, however if you find then awesome and even cool seeing them fight then that will boost their ego more than what they like to admit, 2B says to herself (and to anyone who point it out) that is just normal for a YoRHa Unit like her to be capable to fight like that, even when she can be internally screaming because of how flattered she is (and is somehow comforting too), while 9S won't even try to hide how flattered he feels, he ask you if you are being serious and will thank you a lot! a scanner model like him isn't exactly made to fight, but your words make him feel like if he were the most powerful android in the world (still, he doesn't get blinded by it, he just feel quite flustered, still there are chances that he will show off a little in front of you)

[eponastory]

Alright, I suppose I'll get this over with since I spent some time thinking about it.

Zuko and Mai

Just look at them.

Honestly, their relationship isn't bad, it's just lacking something.

Oh right...

Communication!

They don't talk to each other. I don't mean striking up a conversation... I mean talking about their feelings to each other. Well, at least on Mai's end. We know Zuko shows his emotions very well because of his frustration. Mai is quiet, aloof, and isn't very good at showing how she feels.

She doesn't even vocalize her feelings. Now, that's fine since 74% of our communication is body language, while the rest is verbal and sensory (I bet you didn't even know that), however I think she struggles with that as well.

Zuko is very good at showing he cares by being attentive (guys, learn from Zuko) he is boyfriend/husband material (I don't want to hear about the colonizer bullshit, it's irrelevant, get an education). He may have made some horrible choices in the past, but he is a good person. So, why do he and Mai keep breaking up and getting back together?

Choices!

I've said it before and I'll say it again...

A bad relationship is set by the choices made individually.

So, you know the whole "I don't keep secrets from my partner" thing? This is it. This is why relationships fail. It's hand in hand with communication, and it's the path to breakups/divorce.

In the graphic novel (I have to go back and look, but I think it's right at the end of The Promise? Correct me if I'm wrong) the reason they broke up is because Zuko made some choices that kinda... well it wasn't great and almost led to a war with the Earth Kingdom. But it really put him in a negative light even though he turned out to be in the end. Mai saw this as Zuko becoming his father, and well, she waited to confront him about it.

Zuko made some decisions on his own and didn't really tell her about it, leading to some misunderstandings. Actually, he did this before in Book Three when he left to join the Gaang. He doesn't sit and talk to Mai about it. He just does it. This is where things go wrong. He may have thought he was doing right by her, but in the end, it was the execution that was bad.

Do I think they will get back together?

Eh... it's debatable. The creators have full control of what the characters do at this point. If they were to get back together, they would definitely have to fix the problems I mentioned above. Maybe that will happen from experience.

What do I like about this relationship?

They obviously care about each other, and I do think they look good together. I'm not a huge fan of it because I see the problems in the relationship. It's not a bad relationship, it's problematic at the worst. At best, they make a cute couple. I'm not sure if Mai is Izumi's mother, but again, we are at the mercy of the creators.

Oh that's it. That's the problems.

So how do you fix these problems?

Well, there is therapy, but there is also just talking to your partner. Talking about the things that make you uncomfortable and what makes you upset about your relationship is going to clear the air. Now, if your partner is not a great communicator, that is where a therapist can help, and I highly recommend that.

What makes a relationship toxic comes down to narcissism and other violent traits. There is bad relationships, and then there is downright toxic and hellish.

NONE of the relationships in the show are toxic except for Ozai's relationship with his wife, children, and everyone else he has a relationship with. He is an egotistical sociopathic narcissist... that is a walking nuclear waste pit right there. Run away. Run away immediately.

Anyway, this is what I think...

Oh, and Zuko is the very opposite of his father, so don't even go there.

Hope you enjoy my little relationship analysis.

[theoceanoasis]

Hot rod having a secret he’s so embarrassed about.

His frame constantly produces energon milk especially around his heat and sparklings.

He stays away from sparklings because their cries will make him leak and during his heat his nozzles are so sensitive they can’t be touched

"Look who's here."

Hot Rods friends held up their sparkling who cooed. He watched as Hot Rod smiled greeting his friends who sat down. They bounced their little one as they spoke. He watched as Hot Rod caught up with his friends. Mostly staying silent unless he was asked a direct question.

The sparkling began crying because she was hungry and Hot Rod winced. He gave him a worried look wondering if something was wrong.

"I have to go."

Hot Rod suddenly stood up and his friends gave him worried looks.

"Are you okay?"

He stiffly nodded looking uncomfortable and wanting to leave.

"Optimus just needs my help."

"Oh that's fine."

"We understand."

His friends seemed to accept Hot Rod's lie without question. Even though he knew that wasn't true. Before he could pull Hot Rod off to the side and ask him about it, he was already running away.

He followed after him watching as he transformed away. He didn't see him again until later and when he tried to ask about it he was brushed aside.

This happened a few more times and he wanted to know what was happening. He thought maybe it was because Hot Rod was upset he didn't have a sparkling of his own. They'd talked about it a while ago and decided it wasn't time yet. Maybe his opinion had changed.

He asked him out to dinner so they could talk about it. He was worried about him and wanted to know how he could help.

When he didn't show he became even more worried because that wasn't like him.

He went to Hot Rods apartment and knocked. When he didn't receive a response he wondered if Hot Rod was even there. He tried to think of where he could be when he heard what sounded like crying.

Worried something was wrong and he was in trouble. He used his key to open the door. Rushing to his bedroom he was so worried about his safety, he didn't even notice the smell.

Opening the door he found Hot Rod on his back. He was crying as fingers entered his valve and his tanks were on display. The nozzles looking red and painful as they leaked milk.

"Hot Rod?"

The Autobot jumped looking at him in surprise.

"Soundwave what are you doing here!?"

"You missed our date and I was worried about you."

Hot Rod looked ashamed as he tried to hide himself from view. Even though he's seen his valve before.

He sniffed the air optics widening when he realized what was happening.

"Why didn't you tell me your heat was starting? I thought you wanted me to help you or did you change your mind?"

Hot Rod sat up squirming slightly as he fought off the heat.

"I do want to share it with you. I just... My heat came early and it surprised me and there's something I have to tell you."

Hot Rod gestured for him to sit on the bed and he did so giving him a worried look.

"It's okay if you don't want to, there's always next time."

"I want to. Please Soundwave I need you."

He whined giving him a sad look.

"It's just my stupid body."

He looked down at himself in frustration.

"My body over produces energon. Every few hours I have to pump my tanks otherwise it becomes painful. Usually it's manageable except when a sparkling cries or my heat starts. Then my body goes into overdrive thinking a sparkling is hungry and that I need to feed them or that my mate is hungry and I need to feed them."

"Is that why you always run away when a sparkling cries?"

"Yes. I have to run off and pump my tanks before they burst."

Hot Rod looked down at his tanks which were leaking energon as he spoke. He could tell Hot Rod was nervous. Afraid he'd reject him because of his condition.

"This doesn't change anything. You are still the Hot Rod I know and love."

He pulled him into a hug and Hot Rod buried his face into his neck moaning.

"Please Soundwave I need you."

He nodded helping him lay back against his nest.

"Don't worry I'll take care of you."

[fierceawakening]

So, actual question about actual gaslighting:

Mom tells me that my birthday gift is a table from IKEA that she and dad are buying me. I'm happy about this, as I very much do need a table. The one I have is one they were getting rid of when they moved into an apartment more suited to them aging in place, and is a lovely table but is way the fuck too big for my small apartment so I'm happy about this.

We go to IKEA. Somehow they forget that this is an hour each way and everyone is frustrated and annoyed at the trip taking so long so we're all kind of snippy while we're there. Which is maybe not great but I'm just kinda, eh, shit happens, I'm finding a table. Whatever.

TO MY PERCEPTION, my mom has a thing about people getting snippy. She starts to get really nervous and uncomfortable and make a big deal out of it, where I personally would prefer we just all laugh it off. "Oh fuck, we're all tired and cranky and forgot how fucking HUGE an IKEA is. Ow, argh, welcome to the universe, we all want to commit murder now but are too tired, woe is us, ha ha ha." But, again, as I perceive it, this is Not Okay with my mom, who really wants everyone to act happy and grateful all the time. It's TO ME like she can't see grateful if you're not beaming, and it baffles me.

BUT I am not her, and I could be downplaying that I'm curt to the point of mean, so let's presume that I'm terrible and grouchy and should really be less of both given that this is a present for me. Okay. I suck. Let's go.

Well, things get worse. We go to have dinner after, and I say we should wait until we get back to town and know the restaurants, and that while I know she practices intermittent fasting religiously "it's never actually the end of the world to mess up your diet once due to extenuating circumstances, we can push dinnertime to 6:30."

Well she LOSES IT because I called her fasting a diet and we have an argument which culminates in us eating at a terrible Mexican place we all absolutely hate so it won't be 6:30 at which point she absolutely cannot eat.

We're all tired and grumpy and annoyed because that was exhausting They take the table home with them and tell me they'll come back tomorrow (today) to assemble it, and then, since this is about my birthday, we'll go out to lunch for my bday. (I could SWEAR I asked if it was OK that that would take attention away from Mother's Day and she said it's fine, but maybe I don't remember?)

Anyway, we're all still exhausted and kind of annoyed, and now we're assembling furniture. I'm tired and hungry and looking forward to lunch, and from MY PERSPECTIVE I'm still in a bit of a snippy mood but I don't THINK I'm doing anything terrible.

But she gets super upset. Why am I not happy? Why am I not excited? Why did I not immediately mention Mother's Day? And I'm just like oh man can I just focus on putting a table together? And she's like why am I talking in the way I'm talking? MY answer to which is that we're all tired and run down and it's normal, but she doesn't like this.

Finally she tells me that she's not going to go with me to lunch if "I can't behave decently."

I'm hurt about this, but I don't want to promise that I can "behave decently" because I know from experience that trying to mask in front of her makes things worse, not better.

So I say, "You need to make up your own mind. I am not sure I can mask my snippiness until I have eaten and calmed down. If this is a dealbreaker for you, please just drop us off and we'll catch back up with you. If it's not, I'll probably be fine once I've rested and have some food in me."

I feel like this makes sense, and actually even like maybe it would help! I can't vow to never be visibly tired or annoyed, but I can be aware she dislikes it and tell her I'll catch her later when it won't put her on edge.

But her reaction to that is basically that I want license to behave badly, and that I don't care about her enough to "be decent." She goes with us, but the whole time talks about how unfair it is that I be allowed to "not be decent."

I eat the food and enjoy the restaurant, and as I predicted, this helps me to feel calmer and present as less obviously irritated. I am hurt deeply by the "not decent" remark but able to hide those feelings as I'm calmer. Everything is fine. Ish.

...

AITA or is she? I mean, I think she is, but... if I am abusive or cruel and giving myself a pass, I feel like I should know that.

I just... Idk. I don't feel like anyone else does this. Like, friends and loved ones have seen me annoyed. And they don't necessarily like it, but there isn't the same sense that I'm incapable of being decent.

Dafuq do I do about this? I love my mom but I'm so tired of feeling like I can't just... be pissed off, lest it hurt her in some way, when it seems like me being pissed off in front of other people is treated like it's, maybe not perfect, but normal.

[pinkanonwrites]

can i request jamil & kalim with a gn s/o who has nightmares frequently due to past abuse? thank you <3 (feel free to reject this if it makes you uncomfortable, and i hope you have a good day/night!!)

This doesn't make me uncomfortable at all, but thank you for worrying about how I'd feel! Hurt/comfort really is my bread and butter, I love writing it so much.

GN! Reader, Mentions of abuse

Though most people wouldn't realize it, Kalim is as sharp as a tack when it comes to interpersonal and emotional issues. It generally just tends to get hidden behind his overall goofy and free-wheeling demeanor. So the first time he sees you sort of draw back when he mentions how tired you look, he makes a point not to bring it up in front of others again.

While he'll never force you to go into your trauma if you aren't comfortable, he's always willing to provide a listening ear when you're clearly having a difficult time. Whether you're looking for advice or even just someone to validate what you're going through and how you've been feeling, Kalim is more than happy to listen.

When you do wake up from your nightmares Kalim is always quick to comfort you, remind you that you are home, you are safe. He'll rub your back and press soft kisses to your forehead, humming lullabies he remembers his mother singing for him and his siblings when they were young.

"Shhhh, I've got you, you're okay. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, okay? I'll always be right here."

Jamil picks up on your general exhausted state before the two of you even enter a relationship, but he doesn't pry on the cause until you're willing to open up to him. Once you do, he feels a crippling wave of guilt for all the times he admonished you for staying up late and not getting your proper nights' sleep. Even if you assure him he couldn't have known, he still can't accept that because he feels he should have noticed.

Jamil struggles a bit with helping you with your trauma, because unlike your grades or extracurriculars or chores, this isn't something he can just fix for you. He wants to make it better, but he can't just wave his hand and make your pain go away, and that frustrates him.

What he can do for you is help you come up with a bedtime routine, something repetitive, familiar, comfortable. He can hold your hand while the two of you are sleeping, and he'll never grumble if you jostle him awake in the night because of your bad dreams. Whatever difficulties he's going through, he knows they must be ten times as rough for you, and he sympathizes wholly.

"You'll upset me more staying up all night by yourself than you will if you wake me up, so just do it. I'm supposed to be there for you, aren't I?"