#it's literally almost as long as the entirety of what I've written so far for tata 15 over the past few days wtf

[rafesbabyg1rl]

The Watcher ~ Part One

Summary: Rafe Cameron x Reader, Stalker!Rafe x Pogue!Reader Reader's parents work late on Friday nights, which she spends alone. Except Reader hasn't been alone in a long time, not that she knows of at least. Rafe has watched you for years, he's very good at it. He has no plans of formally meeting you, as he's satisfied with the current arrangement. He likes it better when Reader doesn't know he's watching. But his idea of staying an anonymous stalker is ruined when reader catches him in her bedroom one Friday night. Rafe has to figure out how to fix his mistake before he loses the only thing that makes his life worth living.

Warnings: Rafe stalks reader...that's literally the entire plot. He's pretty pervy in this, I guess. Masturbation (Rafe) in front of unconscious reader, strong/vulgar language, somnophilia (I guess?), death threat(?). If I missed anything from this part that I should include in the warnings, please let me know!

Word Count: 5.9k

Author Note: My sneak peek got a few likes, so thank you if you liked it, y'all are the reason I'm finally posting this part! I'm not sure how I feel about this fic so far, I definitely have a habit of overly critiquing my own work and never being fully satisfied with it, but I'm trying to get over that. I don't have plans for this fic, it's just going in whatever direction I can think of as I write, so if you have any suggestions, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEE let me know, I'll write pretty much anything. This is my first work published on tumblr and the first thing I've written in years, so I hope it's at least readable, and maybe even a little enjoyable. If just one person enjoys this, then my mission is accomplished. Thank you, I hope you enjoy! And do NOT be shy to share feedback or give suggestions/requests. Again, thank you!

For those of you that DID read the sneak peek, a large portion of this part was included in the sneak peek, but I highly suggest reading it over in it's entirety. This draft has undergone several additional rounds of editing and I believe it is better than the version I published as a sneak peek.

CREDITS: The foundation of this fic was heavily inspired by/ based off of one of @faiszt 's bots on character ai. So, if you like this and you like character ai, I greatly suggest that you check out the bot!

One thing about humans is that we always want what we can’t have, especially when everyone else wants that same thing. It’s just something all humans do; but what happens when you already have more than you need and everything you could ever want? Well, almost everything. Rafe Cameron has more money than he could spend in his own lifetime, he can practically buy anything he wants. Except one thing, you.

At first he just thought you were pretty, but the more he saw you out in public the more and more he liked you. The way you’d talk or laugh when you were out with your friends…god, he could tell just how sweet you are. Too delicate for him to touch, like the wings of a butterfly or the petals of a flower. This is when he went from wanting you to needing you. 

See, another thing about humans is that we admire things. And, admiration can easily turn into obsession. Everyone has been obsessed with something or someone at some point in life, it’s normal. Obsessions will come and go, like a cycle. You get obsessed with something, you get over it, and you let it go until a new obsession marks the beginning of the new cycle. But things are a bit different for Rafe, he has never gotten over anything like, ever. Not once has Rafe Cameron ever let anything in his life go. When Rafe wants something, when he needs something, he will do whatever it takes to get it. And oh, how he needs you.

Rafe’s fascination, his obsession with you has been going on for years. He won’t ever admit it, but his perfectly curated collection of your personal items in his closet proves just how bad he’s been obsessing over you. The first thing he had ever stolen from you was your drink, you had been at the same party and you left your red solo cup about three-quarters full. Nobody noticed anything when he casually picked up the cup and finished the rest of your beer, purposely lining his lips with where yours had touched the cup, which was perfectly marked by the lipstick you had been wearing. After you’d leave a restaurant, he’d take the straws from your drinks. Rafe eventually worked himself up to breaking into your house and stealing your things when nobody was home. And Rafe made sure to explore every single inch of your room. All of your favorite panties? Gone. He’d take everything, your shirts, bras, whatever he liked really. You had noticed things kept disappearing from your room, but you’d just think you misplaced it–whatever it may be, or left it in a bag somewhere. Rafe had a good system. He knows exactly how much and how often he can take from you. 

Rafe knows he’s sick. He knows that it’s wrong to watch you from outside your bedroom window, that it’s wrong to follow you around in public, to purposely bump into you so you have to mutter a ‘sorry’ as you move around him. He just really, really needs you. And in Rafe’s twisted, dark, mess of a mind he believes this is the best way–the only way. He couldn’t treat you like every other girl, no, you were special. You were his and you just didn’t know it yet. Starting early on in his life, Rafe has always been neglected, always pushed into the shadow of his younger sister, Sarah. He’s been told he ruins everything, that everything he touches turns to ash. And you’re way too perfect to ruin. So, he follows you around like a creep, lurking from a distance. Of course you didn't know he’s been following you everywhere…he liked it better that way.

Rafe knew the line had already been crossed. Hell, the line had been crossed a long fucking time ago. He doesn’t care anymore, he needs you. Heaven is smelling like you; and not because you had left your scent on him, but because he had bought the same perfume as you. He needed to know what you smell like, how sweet you are…and how sweet you taste. Heaven is watching your chest rise and fall as you sleep peacefully in your bed. Heaven is you.

What Rafe has been doing to you for years could be defined as worship. Rafe was worshiping you. He’s your good boy; your loyal man and he was going to take care of you; protect you, even if you don’t know it yet. You’re what he lives for; you’re all that keeps him going, the only thing he cares about. 

Since he’s been watching you for years, of course he knew your schedule. Of course he knew that on Fridays your parents work late at the local bar & grill that they own. This means you slept in your house by yourself practically every Friday night. So every Friday night, Rafe would sneak in through the back door that you always forget to lock. He just wants to check on you, he wants to see his pretty girl sleeping beautifully, he wants to know that his baby is okay. This is not a crime, it’s not a crime to care; he’s not insane, he’s just in love–if you could even call it that. How can it be wrong to protect what’s his? nOh, and god forbid anyone ever get in the way of his stalking routine, if anyone were to take you away from the inevitable path of meeting him…oh, the things he would do; whatever it takes.

One unforgettable Friday night, you fall asleep on your couch watching a rerun of one of your favorite shows. You enjoy being alone. If only you knew you haven’t been alone for a very long time. You’re woken up by sudden, loud noises coming from your bedroom, but you think maybe it’s just the cat, or maybe you didn’t shut your window. You get up from the couch and in several slow, cautious steps you tiptoe over to your room. When you enter your doorway, you’re immediately greeted by the sight of a tall and broad man standing in the center of your bedroom holding the last shirt you wore to his nose, breathing in your scent. The sight of all this makes you immediately freeze and stand motionless in your bedroom doorway, staring at him blankly. 

Rafe doesn’t startle when he realizes you’ve caught him red-handed. Instead, quite the opposite actually. He’s actually a bit amused, relieved even; if you hadn’t caught him just now, he never would’ve been able to work up the nerve to finally talk to you. He didn’t want to have to be creepy about things between you two, but he couldn’t talk to you like a normal person. It’d be too unpredictable, too unknown. Meeting you like this…he has all of the control. 

“There you are,” he grinned. “How beautiful…” The strangely offputting man gloated in your fear and it was obvious.

You take a step back from where you had been frozen. He takes a step forward. This cannot be happening, you think. Your brows furrow in hopelessness and defeat. Again, you freeze where you are standing, even more afraid to move now. 

You feel like you’ve seen the man before, which you have, plenty of times; but he was careful to never have too big of an interaction, so that you couldn’t recognize his face. You have no clue that you’ve been and always will be his.

 “W-wha…who are you? W-why are you in my house?” You try to keep your voice as strong as possible, but the way your words shake with trepidation betrays you. 

The man takes a quick step forward, slowing to a stop and putting his hands up in mock surrender as you jump back. “Woah, woah, hey…calm down, alright?”, he chuckles when he sees the utter horror and complete fright in your eyes. His tone switches into one of a little more seriousness, “I'm not here to hurt you, you don't need to be so scared...”.  If you didn’t feel like your only choice was to look him in the eyes, you might even believe him. But, you had no other option but to witness the animalistic spark in his eyes that lit up with each word he spoke. With each step he took, you took one further back—your heart dropped into your stomach at the sight of his cocky, twisted smile and the way he looked at you…like you’re a zebra grazing in your natural habitat and he’s the lion waiting to pounce and attack you in your own home. 

“I just wanted to see you," he leaned up against your dresser, taking in the look on your face. His face almost instantly drops the predatory look and adopts one of mock concern, almost convincing enough to hide his amusement. “Hey, it's okay, baby, it’s okay…”

“Please,” you beg. “If you leave I won’t call the cops. I won’t tell.”

Rafe cocks his head and lets out a slow breath, as if he’s disappointed in your reaction; you aren’t supposed to want him to leave. “Hey, hey…I’m not gonna hurt you. Just listen to me…you don’t wanna have to call the cops at three in the morning,” he elaborated. He’s trying to be as convincing as he can because he cannot screw this up. Even so, he still can’t help his smile that only grows at the sight of your terrified face. He shakes the smirk off, adopting a serious expression once more. “Especially when the cops won't be able to do a damn thing.” 

He continues to step closer to you with each word. He stops once his figure is looming over you, looking at you like a lion about to pounce on its prey. “You should really be more careful, sweetheart, leaving the back door open like that at this time of night, when you’re all alone…you never know who might be out there.” His voice is cold as he warns you about the dangers of the world; the dangers of himself. 

“Who are you?” You repeated. The man looks so familiar but you just couldn’t quite place his face anywhere. You just need to know what he wants; who he is. 

“That’s not important right now baby…we’re focused on you, yeah?” The man’s eyes widen, taking in every detail of your face; the only other times he’s seen you this close is when he watches you sleep. 

You could feel his breath on your face as he spoke. The look in his eyes tells you to take another step back, but when your back collides with the wall you jump; there’s nowhere left for you to go and that was exactly how he wanted it. He wanted you like this alone, afraid, and cornered. He loved your fear. The man stares at you with a predatory look although aside from the darkness and lust in his eyes, you can see something else, but…what is it?  

“W-what do you want?” You ask, keeping as calm as you can. Even though with every passing second the air gets thinner and thinner. Your stomach is in knots and your throat starts to close up. Not to mention the stinging tears in your eyes, threatening to fall at any given moment.

“Me?” he cocked an eyebrow, his eyes shamelessly roaming your body as he blew out a huff. “I just wanna have a little chat, that's all...” The unknown man takes another step towards you, invading your personal space, his tall frame towering over you as his bottom lip finds a home between his teeth. Rafe reaches up and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. “No need to be so scared, baby...”

“T-talk about what?” You have no idea what this man who you don’t know, could possibly want to talk about with you. Why is he acting like he knows you when you’re sure you’ve never even seen him before? Why is he…admiring you? No, that couldn’t be right. The mystery man is so confusing, all his twists and turns giving you whiplash. 

“Ah, you see...” he responds, pausing to place his other hand on the wall behind you, almost trapping you in. You feel his hot breath against the sensitive skin of your face, burning you like hot steam. His breath was slow and steady. He was completely calm. He liked this. He gave you a genuine smirk, bringing his face closer to your ear. “It’s more of a proposition really…”

“What is it…?” You ask. Not out of curiosity because honestly, you’re too afraid to know. But because you figure things might, just might go better for you if you play along. He stayed silent for a moment—enjoying the look in your eyes and your erratic breathing.

“All this fear…all this trembling...” he trails off as he brings his hand up to your chin, his thumb slowly tracing the outline of your lower lip. “It's nice to finally meet you...” He chuckles and leans in so that his lips nearly touch your ear. “Will you stop shaking like that if I tell you what I want?” His thumb moves from your bottom lip and he tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear; he doesn’t want anything getting in the way of his view of your pretty face.“Hmmm?” he challenged. “Or will you still be shaking like a scared little puppy?”

“I-I don’t…” You stutter, not being able to speak or even think clearly with the way he’s glaring at you. 

“Shhhh… ” he tutted, bringing his other hand from the wall to your lower back and drawing you even closer to him—until your body was almost flush against his, his touch surprisingly warm. “You're not answering my question,” he whispers your name as he runs his fingers through your hair, it’s softer than he’d imagined. 

“Please just…” The tears were no longer threatening as they began to fall down your cheeks. “Please…” Hearing this man who you do not know, say your name, was probably the most frightening thing to happen to you yet. 

“Shhh, stop that...” he calmly commanded when he saw the tears falling from your pretty eyes. Rafe's voice was soft but stern—he hated seeing you so distressed. His hand moved from your lower back to your chin, making you look up at him. “Hey it’s okay…it’s okay baby, no need for tears. I just wanna talk to you is all." You almost believe him for a moment with how sincere the glint in his eyes appeared. But you’ve picked up on his manipulative expressions. 

“My parents will be home soon…” You vaguely remember your parents mentioning something about something and blah blah blah…they’re closing early tonight. You really hope it’s true and isn’t just a figment of your imagination; something your mind is making up so you don’t completely give up. 

A cocky smile returned to his face as he let a small huff of amusement slip past his lips. He knew your parents were working late, just like every other Friday night. "Bullshit,” he chuckled. His hand moved back to your lower back, holding you against him. “It’s just you and me, pretty girl.” He grabs your waist and within the next second, you’re on your bed and he’s hovering over you. You can feel his hot breath in your ear, you can smell him, feel the excessive heat radiating from his body. He speaks quietly now, more serious than he’s been this entire time, “Don’t ever fuckin’ lie to me again. Got it?”

His words provoke a small whimper from you. How long has he been watching you? What’s he gonna do? What does he want to talk about? Your mind is filled with questions you’re too afraid to ask. “I-I’m not lying.” He leans down, his lips almost touching yours. Rafe’s eyes are looking straight into yours, admiring the complete and utter fear your eyes possess. He doesn’t want you to be scared of him. But fuck, does he love it.

“Oh yeah?” He mumbles as he presses his face into your hair, taking in your scent. He can’t believe he’s finally this close to you. He didn’t think it’d ever happen, and if you didn’t catch him tonight, it probably wouldn’t have. It’s meant to be, he thinks. “What did I tell you about lying, hm baby? I know you’re fuckin’ lyin’ to me, so you wanna try that again?”

Before your brain could muster up some bullshit response, the sound of the front door unlocking echoes through the hall and into your bedroom. Rafe holds his breath and puts his hand over your mouth, causing your eyes to widen as he leans to the side to glance down the hallway at the front door. “Shh…”, he whispers. You weren’t lying. Your parents came home from work early and they’re about to turn the doorknob and come inside the house. Rafe looks at you, the look in his eyes beyond unsettling. “Tell the cops…tell anyone, and I’ll come back and fuckin’ kill you, okay? This is our secret. Don’t make me come back and hurt you babe, I really, really don’t wanna have to do that, alright?” 

He has to be bluffing, right? But, when you look up to meet his gaze, you can tell; you can tell he meant every single syllable that he spoke. It’s not like the cops would believe you if you said you had a stalker anyways, you’re a pogue. And cops never believe a pogue. Rafe doesn’t need a response from you, the fear in your eyes tells him all he needs to know.

 Just before you hear the front door open, Rafe smirks at you. “We’re gonna have so much fun together baby.” Reluctantly, the disturbed man leans back and takes his hands away from you. Without another word, he walks over to your bedroom window and pushes it open. Before ducking to climb out, the large man looks back at you. Your breath hitches even further if that’s even possible.

 “Goodnight puppy.” The outline of his smug grin is visible even in the darkness of your room. Just as you hear the quiet voices of your parents enter your house, the dark figure turns and exits your window. When the man is outside you sit up and rush over to shut and lock the window behind him. 

With caution, Rafe watches as your mother comes to peek her head in your bedroom. She only lingers in your doorway long enough to see your dark shape laying in bed. Covered in blankets, you pretend to sleep, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to hold a casual conversation with your mother at the moment. And the last thing you want to do is raise any alarm. Not while he’s out there–whoever he is. Hot, salty tears fall from your eyes, wetting the soft skin of your cheeks. When she shuts the door, you let out a shaky breath, finally being able to breathe.But, you keep your eyes sealed shut. At least then you can’t see if the man is still watching you from outside your window. You lie awake for hours, how are you meant to go back to sleep after whatever the hell just happened? All you can do now is wait. Is he coming back? When will he come back? Who is he? Why does he want you? There’s a million different questions and worst scenarios circling around in your head. So, you just wait, it’s all you can do. 

As you wait, the hours turn into days, days turning into a week as the next Friday approaches you; you spend your time worrying about having to be home alone again. There still had been no sign of him since your encounter last week, but you decide to stay the night at a friend’s house, not wanting to take the risk. The second Friday after you came face-to-face with your stalker, you get a friend to spend the night with you. And now, after four weeks of waiting there’s still no sign of the deranged man. Although, if you had no knowledge of him stalking you for years he clearly is good at staying hidden. As the fourth Friday approaches, you think over your options. You can go to a friend’s house or have a friend stay over, as you’ve been doing. But, you’re tired of waiting for something to happen. You’re sick of not feeling safe in your own home and of having to look over your shoulder at all times. You used to love being alone, and now it’s been weeks since you’ve spent any time to yourself. You’ve had enough. This Friday you’re not hiding, you’re done being a coward. You will not allow this creep to keep taking away everything you love; you won’t allow yourself to waste any more time worrying about that psycho. So, you stay at home by yourself. He’s not gonna show, right? He was just bluffing or on drugs or something, that’s what you convince yourself.

You pull back the fluffy comforter on your bed and climb in. You pull the covers up and completely over yourself, you used to do this as a little girl when you’d have a nightmare or you’re scared of the thunder or the monster in your closet. If the blanket could protect you when you were little it should work now…right? Well, maybe it’d still work if you had a nightmare, but logically, what is it gonna do against your stalker? But no matter how much you force yourself to believe that he’s not coming back, you still find yourself praying. You’ve never been very religious, but recently you pray to whoever will listen. 

You had bought some sleeping pills from the store a few days after you discovered your secret stalker. They helped you sleep, since your brain hasn’t once stopped thinking about him since the whole fiasco. Reaching over, you pull out the drawer of your nightstand. You grab the bottle of pills, you swallow a couple dry and set the rest on your nightstand. The pills start to kick in quite sooner than usual, must be because you took double the amount…you’re gonna need them to fall asleep tonight. Your first night alone in weeks. In just a few short minutes, you’re out cold, buried underneath an absurd amount of pillows and blankets.

Rafe spent the past few weeks feeling overwrought after what he did. He feels wrong–a feeling he’s not used to experiencing. But it’s because he knows he’s ruined any chance he might’ve had with you. Before you caught him in your bedroom, he had a chance that you could meet him regularly and think he was just a normal guy. But now, all hopes of you ever thinking he’s ‘normal’ have been abandoned. He actually feels shame and…regret for his actions? He’s been seeing less and less of you, and it’s making him angry, so fucking angry. Your schedule has been relatively the same for the past years and now you’re switching it up? You’re hiding from him; running from him just like everyone else in his life. Maybe the things his family has been saying about him for most of his life is true; maybe everything he touches does turn to ash. God, why does he ruin everything? 

You are the one thing, the only thing that Rafe did not want to ruin. You’re the one thing in his life that’s too perfect to ruin…too innocent. But, the damage has been done. He doesn't have many options left. He could leave you alone, but then he’d be weak for not sticking to his word and he can’t have you thinking he’s weak and that you have the power. He could go back, but then what would he do? There was absolutely no way in hell you’d seriously talk to him, and he didn’t want to force himself onto you. He really wanted you to need him back, you have to want it. But everything you do or say now will be out of fear, it’ll be you trying to stay alive. He wanted you to be desperate for him, not desperate to get rid of him. Either way, you’re never gonna forgive him; you’ll always hate him now. Since you’ll feel the same no matter what he does now, he decides that he just needs to see you, he needs to talk to you again. It’s been far too long since he’s been close to you. He can’t take another goddamn second without seeing his reason to live.

He hurries over to your house, parking an entire block away as usual. He makes sure no eyes are on him as he sneaks around to your backyard. Rafe tries peeking through the curtains that block your window to see if you were in bed or not, but he can’t get a good view. He needs to know if you’re home. He needs to see you. 

Rafe sneaks around to the side of your house, checking all windows and doors in the process, but he has no such luck. But he doesn’t give up yet, he’ll get in, he’ll find a way. He tries the side door that leads into your garage. He lets out a giant breath of relief when the door clicks open. Once he’s inside the garage, he takes a quick glance around to analyze his surroundings and burn every inch of your house into his memory. When he finally enters your house, he takes his time to look around. Obviously Rafe knew you were a pogue–he knew everything about you, but you never really looked or acted like one. However, the inside of your home puts your life on display, making it very clear you’re a pogue. 

You sleep soundly, only being interrupted by the occasional dream; completely unaware that your stalker is making his way down the hall and into your bedroom. Rafe opens the door quietly. Your room is dark like the rest of your house, but the moonlight shining through your thin curtains provides just enough light that he can see the outline of your sleeping body. Now that your presence has been confirmed, he feels like he can finally breathe and he lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. 

Before he became totally obsessed with you and he’d see you occasionally in public, you used to just make him horny. He’d catch a glimpse of your smile or hear the softness in the way you spoke, or the innocence in your sweet laugh and his dick would be hard within seconds. And when his obsession grew and he’d watch you more frequently, sex with other girls started not doing anything for him. He needed you…he needs you. When he actually started paying attention to the way you spoke, the way you acted, he fell in love–what he thinks is love anyways. Rafe realized you’re the sweetest, most pure person he’s ever known. He didn’t think people like you really existed. His discovery led him to watch you more closely, he started taking more risks just because he needed to find your flaw. There’s no way you’re actually this perfect, it has to be an act. Now, after years of watching you he can confidently say that you really are just that perfect. Rafe needs you for more than just getting off now, he needs your comfort, he needs the kindness that radiates off of you. Which is why he’s always trying to find a way to get closer to you, he needs to absorb your sweetness. But hes really done it now; he’s fucked up big time. You hate him.

He hadn’t realized that the hate he brought upon you would tint the kindness that radiates for your being. He has to get you to let go of the hate he’s caused you, he needs you to be yourself again. He just doesn't know how, if it’s even possible.

 As you sleep soundly, his large frame towers over you as he stares down at you through the darkness. You look so peaceful, so innocent. It physically pains him to know that he’s taken away parts of your innocence. All he can do is stare at you as he mentally curses himself. He can’t wake you up and ruin your small moment of peace. It’s better if you don’t know he’s there. 

Your stalker slowly raises his hand and uses his thumb and pointer finger to pull your blanket down to your knees. Even with the blankets pulled down most of your body was hidden from him. Almost everything is left to the imagination in the loose, patterned pj pants and the oversized, long sleeve shirt that you’re wearing. He can only see a small portion of your lower stomach due to your shirt slightly riding up. And that small bit of skin is enough to trigger his memories of you. Because of course he’s seen you countless times; he’s got your body memorized.

He’s practically panting as he takes in the sight of you, imagining that you’re unclothed beneath him; his memory is sharp enough to almost see it. His cock grows to press against his jeans and his eyes trail up to your beautiful face. The ache in his needy cock starts to become unbearable. Your name slips past his lips in the form of a mumble when he starts to palm himself through his newly tightened jeans. 

Okay, Rafe has definitely jerked off to the thought of you, your smell…everything about you makes him lose whatever control he ever even had to begin with. Something he hasn’t gotten to do yet is jerk off with you right in front of him as a live viewing source, fresh for his eyes. He’s gonna be able to cross that off the bucket list soon enough; he can’t wait any longer. His hand stops its ministrations over his jeans as his head turns and he moves over to your closet, grabbing a pair of delicate, worn panties from the top of your laundry hamper. He brings the treasure up to his nose to smell you. God, he could cream his fucking pants right now. He quietly walks back over to you, taking a look at the pill bottle on your nightstand. He picks it up with his free hand, eyes quickly scanning over the label. He smirks as he sets it back down. Rafe turns his head to look back at you. His smirk grows even wider as he leans back, cocking his head as he observes you. Yeah, you’re definitely gonna be out for a while.

With his pants and boxers around his ankles, he stands over you. Your panties between his hand and his cock as his fist slowly pumps up and down his length. His other hand meticulously pulls your shirt up to reveal your chest.

“Fuckkk…” he whispers under his breath as his bottom lip is held captive between his teeth. Your perfect tits are spilling out of your bra as you lie asleep on your back. He lightly fiddles with the ends of your hair as his hand pumps over his dick repeatedly and without rhythm. He takes his time, Rafe never likes to rush this. Especially not with you.

Your subconscious mind reacts to his light touch and sounds, pulling you into a wet dream; seeing as a main side effect of the medication you took was vivid dreams. You’ve also been unusually horny lately, probably because you’d been too afraid to touch yourself when you thought you were being watched twenty-four/seven. His fingers trail up your stomach and into the valley of your breasts with feather light touch.

You stir a bit, not because you felt him, but because the dream you’ve been thrown into by your subconscious is starting to get your body all worked up. You’ve been extra horny recently and keep having sex dreams since you haven’t been able to touch yourself the past few weeks, having a stalker and all. As he leans down to lightly kiss the skin in between your boobs, a moan slips past his lips, vibrating off of your skin and interrupting the mostly silent room. The only other sound that can be heard in the quiet room is that caused by Rafe’s hand quickly moving up and down his cock; the friction caused by the soft fabric of your panties generates a quiet noise. Pre-cum leaks from his slit and seeps into the fabric of your recently worn panties. He leans back down to create a hickey on your chest and hopes that you won’t wake up from the sudden feeling, although if you did that might be even better. Shaking the selfish thought out of his head, he sucks strongly at the smooth skin between your beautiful tits. He pulls his mouth off with a pop! Leaning back to see the mark he left, he smirks knowing you’ll see it too eventually. The already rhythmless movements of his hand gets even more erratic the closer he gets to reaching his orgasm. 

The man standing above you runs his hand back down your chest and abdomen as you sleep. Completely unaware of what's happening to your physical body right now, you begin to get all wrapped up in your dream. You only ever get sex dreams when you’re so overly horny, which you’ve been the past few weeks. That combined with the sleeping medication you took, made this particular dream feel different; it felt so…real. The only dream-like part about it was that you couldn’t see the man's face for whatever reason. 

While you’re in a deep sleep, you involuntarily let out a needy whine as your active mind plays games with you. When Rafe hears you he thinks he imagined it, until he hears you do it again. He wonders if you could feel him, except he’s not even touching you right now. Realizing that's clearly not the reason, he furrows his brows in confusion. He pulls the duvet cover completely off of you to reveal the way you keep periodically squirming as your body searches for the same feeling your mind is experiencing; and the way your toes tighten up and curl as you’re tricked into thinking you feel pleasure. 

He can’t take it, not when you look like this. The man hovering over your unconscious figure lets out a lewd moan that corrupts the silence as hot strings of his cum spurt out of the pink, glistening tip of his cock and onto the pair of your panties that he's got clenched in his fist, immediately soaking into the fabric. Surprisingly, when he gets through his orgasm, he adoringly covers you back up with your blankets and leaves your house, locking the door he entered through to be sure you were safe. He got enough to satisfy him for now as he works on a plan to change the way you think of him.  He’ll be back for more of you soon enough. He has to fix this; the biggest mistake he’s ever made and the only regret he’ll ever carry. 

To be continued...

Thank you for reading! I hope this was enjoyable and not a waste of time. I spent a lot of time on this part, especially with the editing since I never really feel done with anything. If you have literally ANY feedback, questions, or suggestions, PLEASE feel free to let me know! I don't really have any solid plans for this fic so if you have any ideas I just might include them, there's not much I won't write!

I'd like to thank @faiszt for inspiring me to write this fic!

[leenieweenie12]

You're Too Sweet For Me

Ok this is literally the first little fic I've ever written (and completed) so please give me the tiniest amount of grace, I am begging you. I am so afraid to post this but I figure, why the hell not?! Gotta live a little. Also side note, I know this is so cliche to take place in a flower shop but I am ~unoriginal~ and that's what I came up with.

Warnings: none, this is fluff

Words: 1,213

Inspired by none other than the lovely Hozier and his new song Too Sweet

Divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

The bell over the door chimed, letting her know that a customer had just arrived. 

“Be with you in a minute!” she called from the side room where she was arranging a colorful spring bouquet. 

“S’alright, it’s just ol Alfie,” a familiar gruff voice hollered back. 

She smiled to herself and glanced at the clock above the doorway. Five o’clock, right on time. She wiped her hands on her already dirty apron and walked out to the main shop. Her dear friend Alfie Solomons was standing with his back toward her, looking at the rows of blooms spread around the room. He had his signature long black coat and hat on, his small cane clutched in one hand. 

“Is it Wednesday already, then?” she asked, placing a hand on Alfie’s shoulder. “Could’ve sworn it was still Tuesday.”

“That’s the thing about the days, love, once one ends, the next one begins,” he put his arm around her waist and gave her a small sideways hug. “Got anything exciting going on back there?” his head tipped slightly to the side room.

She shrugged. “Nothing too thrilling. Come back and give me a hand, would ya?” 

She walked ahead of him into the small area that was dedicated to arranging. In a glass vase on the counter was a sprawling bouquet of peonies, roses, and cosmos. 

“Think Mr. Klein stepped out on the missus again,” she snickered. “This is the third arrangement he’s ordered just this month for her.” 

Alfie reached out and gently touched one of the peonies with a calloused ring adorned finger, a funny sight to see from such a burly man. “Yeah, well,  I can’t blame the man. Mrs. Klein is about as irritating as they come, with that God awful nasally voice of hers constantly droning on about fuck all.” He took half a step back to admire the bouquet in its entirety. “Put some larkspur in there, add a little height.” 

She chuckled and shook her head, “You always have to have a say in my work, don’t you?” Despite her words, she turned and grabbed a few stems of the purple larkspur in the bucket on the counter and carefully added them to the vase. “But you’re always right, which you know annoys the hell out of me.” 

The man smiled and gestured with his hands, “See, there ya go, love. Perfect.” 

She smiled and turned to face Alfie, her back leaning against the counter. She looked at the older man’s face and studied it intensely, as she had countless times before. It wasn’t much of a secret that she had feelings for him. He had been coming into her flower shop for almost two years by then. He started coming every other week to pick up arrangements for his mother. Every other week quickly turned to once weekly, then every other day. Now it was routine for them; every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, at exactly five o’clock, Alfie would come to the shop. He had stopped buying bouquets for his mother after her passing roughly a year before. Now he just visited her for pleasure. They had become quite good friends in that time. Alfie would often bring her some dinner if he knew she had to stay  late to fill an order. Other evenings he would take her out either to a local pub or restaurant to enjoy food and drinks. Her feelings grew by the day but she never acted on them. She figured that if Alfie felt the same way he would have made a move by that point, so for the time being she let it go. She tried not to let it bother her too much, the ache in her heart that left a pang of emptiness. Most of the time they were having far too much fun for her to realize it was even there. But every once in a while, in the quiet moments such as the one they were having in her little flower shop, she felt it. 

There was something about that day, that moment, that she felt the overwhelming urge to fill that empty void. She would never know what it was that made her do it, but she grabbed the lapels of Alfie’s coat and pulled herself to him, pressing her lips to his. At first, there was no reaction from the bearish man, but as she didn’t back off, she felt Alfie’s large hand snake behind her neck. He deepened the kiss, pushing her back against the counter. Her arms went around his neck as he moved his own hands to her waist and effortlessly picked her up to sit her on the surface. Their lips crashed together like two teenagers indulging their pubescent hormones for the first time, tongues intertwining at a fervent pace. 

When they finally released each other, Alfie took half a step back. “Fuckin ‘ell,” he said with a smirk. “Not that I didn’t enjoy that, but what the hell are you thinking, love?” 

She looked into his impassioned eyes sheepishly and gave him a small smile. “Don’t be daft, Alfie. You know how terrible I am at hiding my feelings. Don’t tell me you’re surprised by this.” She brought a hand up to his scraggly beard and gave it a pet. 

Alfie’s gaze intensified and his brow furrowed. He looked back and forth between her green eyes. searching for some sort of answer. “Darling, I-” he started before she put her hands on his chest.

“And don’t tell me you don’t feel the same way because a kiss never lies, and the way you just kissed me revealed a whole lot of truth, Alfie Solomons.”

He snickered and put his hands back on her waist. “You got me there, treacle. Not even gonna try to be coy with you. I’m just a bit taken aback is all.”

The next few hours were spent just the two of them in her modest flower shop vacillating between conversation about their feelings for each other and intimate caressing and necking. When they finally realized how late it was by the darkness outside, Alfie turned toward her with a serious glance. 

“I’m not a good man,” he declared in a serious tone. “I’ve done awful things to a lot of people.”

She closed the gap between them and laid her cheek against his broad chest, waiting for his bulky arms to enclose around her. “But you’ve never done anything awful to me, Alfie, and that’s what I care about. Everything you’ve done you’ve done for a reason. I know that.”

He wrapped her small frame up with his own body and sighed, “You’re too sweet for me, love.” He bent his head down and gingerly kissed the top of her head. 

“Let’s get out of here, yeah?” she said as she linked her arm through his and stepped toward the door. 

With the chilly night air greeting them, they strolled out to the quiet Camden street, arm in arm, both with minds racing of the future to come for their newfound romance, smiles spread wide across their faces. 

They could feel the electricity of love sparking between them, lighting up the night. This was the start of something beautiful.

[its-kinda-snowy]

okay now that tbobf is finished I finally feel ready to voice my thots abt this hot mess . . .

(fair warning I have yet to watch the final episode, but based on what I've seen of it, I doubt my opinion will change)

This show is quite possibly some of the most poorly written and produced works I've seen come out of sw, (sequels excluded) and god its just so disappointing to see such a promising show that everyone was excited to see fall flat on its face.

Talking abt the Boba-centric part of the show first, its just so horribly put together, you can clearly see where Morrison placed his input and worked to have proper cultural representation. Because literally everything else is a hot mess. So many characters are under written and have literally no development after they are first introduced. Not to mention the incredible mishandling of the Tuskens after ep 2, killing them off just to further Boba's own development (not going to delve into that can of worms).

And god I am so frustrated that we learn almost nothing abt Fennec, and shes literally the secondary protagonist! She barely had any lines in the show to begin with, and it is just so clear how little show runners care abt these characters and how much it is a disservice to the people of color who worked so hard to make what representation there was correct and meaningful.

and . . . now everyone else. I am still stupefied that they essentially placed Mando season 3 into this show. Effectively ruining both of them with taking Boba out of his own show and preemptively dealing with Grogu before season 3 can actually address it. And the stupid amount of cameos in this show is exhausting and simply unnecessary.

And Luke! The complete and total character assassination they gave him to further both his character in tlj(ugh) and so Din can see Grogu is so cheap. They literally took a character whose core development is using his love and attachment towards his father, to both save him and not compromise who Luke is as a person and a Jedi. And they just threw that away.

God they even fucked Grogu up too, like for the entirety of season 2 it was clear that he wanted to be a Jedi. It was what the finale was all about! So for him to just throw that part of himself away at first opportunity is so poorly written and just peeves me off.

hhhh okay I think thats the long and short of it. I just really needed to write this down or it would just burn a hole in my head. This show will definitely not take away my enjoyment of sw(not for its lack of trying), I am far too stubborn and they will have to pry Luke from my cold gay hands. But I will probably take a break from it for a bit tho, just so I can focus in on the aspects that genuinely make me love the franchise, and not let one bad show take that away from me lol

[the-ghost-king]

So I'm not going to start like an Anti-Chiron tag because I don't find that enjoyable personally, but every so often people ask why I dislike him so here's essentially a "masterpost" of my thoughts on that situation for when anyone asks, just so I have it to explain some...

This isn't nearly a full list, and there's many more "incidents" that make me less than fond of Chiron, I don't hate the old man but he leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I'm not a fan of that. He's a very twisted character.

- The Lightning Thief

This quote is literally just after Percy's mom "dies", they're all sitting on the porch of the Big House right after he's finally woken up after days of sleeping, and that's the line Chiron pulls out on him.

That's straight up emotional manipulation which was entirely unnecessary in the context of what Chiron was trying to explain. There wasn't a single reason for that, in the slightest.

Immediately following that, and Percy, who canonically has anger issues, does his best to remain calm, he is immediately threatened by Dionysus, and Chiron doesn't even tell Dionysus off for doing that; Chiron just let's it happen. It's Grover who has to speak up to tell Dionysus off...

The only reason Chiron comes out looking like a old guy in this scene is because Dionysus was so much worse in his behavior, at one point intimidating Percy with his power over madness.

- The Titan's Curse

This is the aftermath of when Nico ran away upon confirmation of Bianca's death. When Percy is telling Chiron about the situation, Chiron wishes Nico had been eaten alive rather than recruited into an army.

He'd rather a child be dead than fight against him, and he openly tells this to other children he's in charge of. If Percy went missing would he have said "I hope he was eaten <3" as well?

I don't blame Perry for not delivering the truth here, it was done in an effort to protect Nico; which wasn't something Annabeth had planned on doing... I don't blame Annabeth for that though either, she's been beneath Chiron so long that she probably doesn't realize the shady stuff he does, and to her "going to tell" probably was the "right" move because she was a child...

But the fact that Chiron believes Nico truly would be better off eaten than alive :/

- Tower of Nero

This quote from Tower of Nero shows that Chiron lied to a bunch of young children (most of them were young because the older campers are largely dead because of the war or too old for camp now). It wasn't just a little white lie that adults sometimes tell kids either; they were walking into battle and he told them it was a field trip.

Did he even begin to explain the danger he was putting these kids in? Did the children understand their situation? And how dangerous it was?

Kayla has been blindsided over the years into thinking that telling children they're going on a field trip instead of fighting a battle is something to make a joke of and not be questioned... (Again, I don't blame her she's only like 12 in the book, but still)

Apollo also agrees, which isn't on Chiron but it's a whole mother reason why I can't stand Rick's interpretation of Apollo...

<><><><><>

This isn't me being like "oh Chiron is the worst most evil character ever" I just think that he has numerous flaws which are largely ignored in favor of the "perfect wise teacher" narrative when in fact Chiron and Dumbledore share a lot of.. Offputting qualities.

I do think that some of the situation is simply a result of Chiron having his hands tied behind his back by the gods some. And he even goes so far as to confirm this in a scene of TLT

However many of the scenes in which he exhibits behaviors like that in my first three screenshots are not related to anything the gods require and are, in fact, of Chiron's own free will.

Some things I would blame Zeus and the council for, such as how he withholds information from Percy to an excessive amount for long periods of time even when Percy straight up asks about things. I could easily see that being Zeus trying to prevent Percy from claiming the prophecy as his own, and I could see reasoning that maybe Chiron had sworn over the River Styx or something similar.

But those things don't apply to Chiron making such an unnecessary comment about Percy's mother so close to her "death". It doesn't explain why he would say he hoped Nico had been eaten out loud, and it doesn't cover the fact that he led children into a battlefield without telling them that's what was happening.

I think the context of Chiron's choices and comments would be different if the campers were older. If they were in their late teens or early twenties for the most part, I wouldn't really have much to say about how Chiron handled the situation.

But this man is in charge of children and extremely young teenagers, Percy is only 12 in TLT, maybe if he would have been 16 or 17 then I could give Chiron a pass, but he wasn't. Within the context of the comment he made in the Titan's Curse, Percy is only 14 and Nico is 10 at the beginning of the book... You don't wish a 10 year old had been eaten alive by a monster no matter how bad you think the alternative is, and if you do wish that you don't say it out loud to a group of other children. In the battle from Tower of Nero we get a quick look at the battlefield, and although Ben's age, and the age of another girl fighting alongside him are never confirmed they are implied to be fairly young, and we know Kayla is only 12 at the time too; yet Chiron told them it was a field trip instead of a battle, limiting the time they would have to mentally prepare themselves for what was coming.

On top of that, the nods the reader gets to the fact that Chiron can't act out against the gods depletes over the course of the series. After TLT the amount of times the situation involves the gods interfering with what Chiron is allowed to say lessens, and by the time the Heroes of Olympus series comes around, these limitations on his speech is almost entirely gone. Yet as seen in Tower of Nero he still does morally questionable things in regards to how he treats the campers.

Like I said, I recognize that in many scenes Chiron's hands are tied behind his back because of the gods.. But there are undeniably things he does of his own free will that are, in the nicest manner, very :/

This also isn't a full list of comparisons just a few notable scenes. I don't think Chiron is equally as bad as Dumbledore, but I think it undeniable that Chiron has some significant flaws built into his character design.

A good character has flaws, and there's nothing wrong with having a character that doesn't always conduct themselves properly or have good intentions- it's actually good writing, and I can appreciate that, but for some reason I find myself personally rubbed the wrong way by Chiron. This doesn't make Chiron badly written, or poorly designed, in fact I would say Rick's Chiron is very well designed in lots of ways, but I just don't like how it's never acknowledged by anyone in the series.

Like I said, I'm not starting an anti-Chiron situation, I just think little events like those mentioned, the way he's built a child army, and how he doesn't even try to plead with the gods over raising the ages on campers being allowed to battle is a little sus. But it more so bothers me that there's no attention payed to this problem anywhere in the books, not even by a side character or Luke, nowhere.

I don't actually care that much and this isn't that important to me, but sometimes people ask why I don't like Chiron and this is basically just my explanation to hand off to them... It's not even so much that I dislike Chiron entirely, he's well written and has his "good" moments, I just don't like the way other characters interact with him and his actions.

It's more a personal beef with him rather than an aspect of poor writing or him "being bad"... PJO in general (and HoO/ToA to a much lesser extent) shows that there's not such an inherent good vs bad in the world, and that sometimes people are victims of circumstances in some situations, or they're horribly misguided in their actions, but the series does a good job of showing those people as human still, and I applaud that.

I don't really know how to tie this up in its entirety, but there's nothing wrong with having a morally grey character who does questionable things and in many aspects it is good writing. I think Chiron is a result of Rick not thinking through the implications what he's doing in lots of situations, and I can see a fairly consistent drop in Chiron's characterization from PJO-ToA which is consistent with most other aspects of Rick's work.

I also want to clarify that if you like Chiron and disagree with me, that's absolutely 110% okay, I just personally dislike Chiron and that's on me. Like my problem with many of Rick's other immortal characters, I think he missed important aspects of them in some manner and slightly (or entirely in some cases) mischaracterized them in comparison to their original myths.. Some of these characters he came around on and fixed their character in many aspects to their more "correct" characterization (like Hera), while others (like Chiron and Apollo) he never quite figured them out. Which is a running complaint I have with Rick so I'm just adding this to his tab.

But yeah, I don't hate Chiron I just dislike him and those are different things, and I don't think it's a bad thing to have a morally questionable character, Chiron just personally rubs me the wrong way and I just wanted to explain that more fully because I've been asked about it multiple times.

Also I apologize for not adding a [read more] to this, it's a complaint of mine often when scrolling through the tags but I'm on mobile currently and don't have immediate access to a computer so~

[hella1975]

hella!! important (not really) question: what's your favourite scene that you've written for taob so far? like,, of the published ones

(capt-snoozles)

ohhhhhhh this is actually such a cool question do u mind if i give you like a top 5? this isn't me going 'well they're all just so good how could i possibly choose' it's just bc i'm taking this as what my favourite scene is GENERALLY and not in regards to the writing, and as it is bc taob is such a personal story for me a lot of the scenes have been really impactful and cathartic to write, and also i have scenes that mean a lot to me bc of what they meant to OTHER PEOPLE and just bc of the general reaction they got, so this is just all of that lol (i feel like none of that made sense. im half-awake rn allow it)

okay in no particular order we have;

the aurora scene in ch8 (b1). this scene is the first proper time i let my own personal writing style go a bit feral in taob. up until that point, i'd been too nervous and had actually been trying to mimic the way muffinlance wrote, bc i thought that was what people would want. but i knew this scene was incredibly emotional and my writing style works better with stuff like that, so i let myself write it how i wanted to write it, and the response that scene got and still gets to this day is insane

sokka seeing zuko's scars in ch26 (b2). this is quite simply an occasion where i was really proud of my own writing, which is actually really rare for me bc im so so fucking critical of myself (but im trying to get better at Not Doing That so who knows). i'd been planning the metaphors and fleshing out this scene for weeks beforehand and it was just one of those writing moments where you're like 'omg! here it is! that scene i've been excited for!'

zuko naming his feelings as rage in ch28 (b2). this was so so so important for me personally. zuko had all these feelings and there was that recurring metaphor of the eagle-hawk and it had gone on for 18 chapters by that point, and we finally got to see him accept that it was anger that he was feeling. it was very much a 'name the monster' moment and it probably shouldn't have been as cathartic for me as it was, but i just think there's something so important in finally accepting that, regardless of how ugly it is, regardless of how much you don't want to be, you are angry

the zuko alone chapters 29/30 (b2). OKAY I KNOW THESE AREN'T SCENES AND ARE IN FACT ENTIRE CHAPTERS BUT THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THESE THAT I KEEP COMING BACK TO AND I DONT KNOW WHY. there are a lot of moments in these chapters that stick out to me. my favourite bit of imagery in the entirety of taob (and one that was very much on purpose and is very much going to be mentioned again) is the scene in ch29 where zuko is staring up at sozin's portrait. And then there's also all the conversations had between zuko and azula in these chapters, and them holding blue fire on the beach, and zuko trashing his room etc. i literally couldn't tell you why these all hit me so hard but chapters 29 and 30 are probably the chapters i've reread the most out of the entirety of taob

the fever dream sequences in ch33 (b2), particularly the stage one. i'd known ever since the beginning of taob that i wanted to go ham with the writing here, but it also happened that ch33 fell over a time where i was really self-conscious about my writing. i thought taob had become really average lately and that i was losing the spark that attracted so many people to my work in the first place, and i was actually in quite a bitter mindset, to the point that reading other people's fics filled me with this really ugly jealousy. i'd like to say that ch33 was me healing from that, proving to myself that i could still write good things, but it was actually quite a petty 'fuck you look what i can do' that i wrote almost in a fit of anger. but the end result was the same, and every time i feel self-conscious, i remember that ch33 was not that long ago and i managed to churn out that shit while doing my economics exams, so i can't be that awful

[lov3nerdstuff]

Hi Kay!

I just wanted to take a moment and say how deeply moving (and overall comforting) I find your writing to be! I've gone through almost the entirety of your masterlist twice in the past month alone and have found myself returning more often to the pieces of literature/poems your reference sometimes. (Especially that one poem by Benedict Smith! I've read a few more by him because of you and they're just wonderfully lovely 💛 so I'm eternally thankful to you for including it.)

I may be wrong in assuming, but I believe you may have studied/are currently studying a degree involving literature. I hope this isn't too foreward of me but I was wandering if you have any other works of literature that you'd recommend? (I'd love to read anything you recommend from poems to plays 💛) I'm slightly embaressed to say but the works I've read are quite limited to a highschool level and since I'm currently studying Pharmacy, there are very few people who can recommend me such moving works. :)

I also feel like I should apologise for writing such a large ask, so please accept this apology as well hehe 💕🥺

Sincerely,

Bek 🌻

Hey there Bek 💚💕✨

First of all... I'm incredibly sorry for how long it took me to reply to this ask, I know you sent it weeks ago and I'm honestly just ashamed of myself for only replying now! I've been taking a bit of a Tumblr break again, or rather a break from literally everything, and I guess not having written anything in a while made me feel guilty whenever I opened Tumblr, so... All I can say for myself really is that I'm sorry you had to wait so long! Again, I never ever ignore anyone, I promise! It just sometimes takes a while for me to reply 😅🙈

Now, I'm so happy to hear that you've been enjoying my writing! 🥺🥰 Hearing that it's comforting and inspiring to you is honestly such a relief and indeed does make me happy more than I can say 💚 It's so cool that you're checking up on all the references I make aaahhh 🥺🥺🥺 I love it 😁 You're always more than welcome, love! I don't think I could stop including references to literature, culture, history and the science around it even if I tried 😅☺️

And yeah, I did study classics and newer literature as a minor for my undergrad degree 😄 But tbh I still work with literally a lot even now (I'm in grad school for media and cultural studies) even though it's technically not something I've been properly taught ☺️ I'm just a nerd who likes to learn on her own, and with media and culture you can pretty much delve into almost anything you want 😂😅🤷🏻‍♀️

Now, it's not forward at all to ask me for literature recommendations! 😁😃 I truly love recommending stuff!!! I have a few up my sleeve, even though you've probably heard of a few already, for obvious reasons: A lot of what I truly enjoyed reading was something Tom Hiddleston has worked on in one way or another! It's truly a magnificent guideline for picking new literature... Just look up the literary origins of his films/shows/plays and you will be in for quality literature most of the time! I don't think I've ever mentioned it on here, but me reading High-Rise (JG Ballard) because I heard Tom would be partaking in the film adaptation was actually what sparked my love and passion for literature!!! Yep, it's that good. Now on to the recommendations though 😁(This... got rather long):

Plays

Anything by Harold Pinter really, but for obvious reasons you'll find a lot of additionally fun stuff for Betrayal, which is lovely and truly funny if you're in on the kind of humour btw

Medea by Euripides (a classic, but I love it nonetheless... You can find translations in almost every language) ((and pls stay away from Seneca's Medea, because ugh... Euripides is far better AND the og story, as much as anyone can say that for Greek mythology)

La Bohème by Puccini (I know, this is technically an opera, but if you read the libretto it's honestly just like a play... And if you're up for it, the og story is in prose and written by Henri Murger... It's better than the opera, but oftentimes more difficult to find) ((this one is hilarious and basically explains an entire cultural subgroup in the 19th century)

Faust by Goethe (many people hate it, but I LOVE this one!!! It's also been translated into any and every language, and it's so interesting philosophically!!! It's also referenced SO freaking often literally everywhere, and the operas and ballets based on it are always my fave) ((there's technically Faust I and Faust II, but you're good to go just reading the first one)

Anything by Shakespeare, obviously... Though I do love me my Hamlet like every other literature enthusiast (Yes, I can do that one famous soliloquy in act 3 scene 1 by heart as well...)

Poetry

Again, anything Shakespeare for the win, but I LOVE the sonnets and keep a copy of them with me most of the time (Yes, I own multiple copies of the sonnets...) ((My faves are 116 and 91, but there's always so much truth to be found in there!!!))

A lot of the stuff William Blake wrote is amazing, though you have to pick carefully with him if certain religious motives aren't your thing... I love The Tyger, which is an individual poem, and the collection of works called Tyger, Tyger which does have many good ones and a few ones that are a little more on the mediocre side

Do not go gentle into that good night by Dylan Thomas (I know this one by heart as well... It's beautiful, and there's a version of Hiddleston reading it on YouTube, which gives you even more goosebumps than the poem does anyway)

Invictus by William Ernest Henley (same for this one, also read by the one and only) ((I love to read this when I'm feeling down or powerless))

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T. S. Eliot (This is another wow piece with many quotable lines and truths... I love it a lot and keep coming back to it! It's also a great example of how literary modernism tried to condense the complexity and passing of time and history into a single frame that had to be intrinsically poetical in nature... As in, this poem could've been a short story in any other period, but modernists loved to make everything a poem so here you go)

Der Zauberlehrling by Goethe (This one sucks in all English translations I’ve found, poetically speaking, but in German it’s such a fun piece! If you’ve ever seen the Disney ‘The Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ with Mickey Mouse or listened to the orchestral piece by Paul Dukas, then this poem proves very useful in truly understanding either! But again, the English translation should only be taken for informational value... The German one is also worded hilariously)

Prose

Short edited by Alan Ziegler (This is a collection of short prose forms that honestly is a must for me... I love this book to pieces and have had it for years now! It’s an international anthology, so you’ll find more and less famous authors from all around the world represented with short stories, prose poems, short essays and just curious and interesting snippets of writing! I draw a lot of inspiration from this book)

High-Rise by JG Ballard (As mentioned above, I owe this book part of my personality... I don’t think I would be the same person without having read it. It’s not necessarily full of wisdom, but if you’re interested in a different kind of portrayal of the human condition, then this is the read you need to take a look at)

The City of Dreaming Books by Walter Moers (This is another piece that changed my perception of literature, even though this is a more ordinary and ‘fun’-value read... It’s one of my favourite books and it’s endlessly entertaining! So if the classics are a bit heavy for you, this one is perfect for casual readers as well! Its value really does lie more in the realisation of how fun literature can be, and the freedom you have as an author... So really, I could recommend everything by Moers, his style is amazing both in the German original and in the English translation. Yes, I’ve read both.)

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett (This is comedic gold, stylistic gold and generally a bloody perfect book. Also a ‘fun’-value read, but it also does a magnificent job at showing you what you can do with literature, and how well-developed characters are supposed to be written)

The Penguin Book of the Undead (Penguin Classics) edited by Scott G. Bruce (This book is basically an education on fifteen hundred years of supernatural encounters and how culture wrote, used and perceived them. You get introductory texts for different periods and social groups, explaining how and why ghost stories were written and used, followed by passages of the prime source texts (eg. ancient necromancy shown on The Odyssey). Really, this book is just for cultural history nerds)

The Earthquake in Chile by Kleist (This isn’t necessarily one of my faves, but it has helped me understand what studying literature and culture can do for you. In case anyone remembers my insistence in Wicked Game that you gotta know what a pomegranate symbolises... this novella is such an instance where this knowledge would prove useful. Generally, it gives many opportunities to think about privilege and circumstance)

The Symposium by Plato (You’ll probably not want to read the entire collection of speeches tbh... But the concepts introduced mainly here and in some of Plato’s other work are well worth looking into! For example, the ‘double being’ introduces a concept that in modern fiction is called soulmates... Just sayin’)

[ziracona]

It's insane how they managed to strip away any complexity Solas had from the main game in a single DLC with a couple of lines. That has to be a world record. They really outdid themselves didn't they?

RIGHT??? He was the second best character Inquisition had to offer and they had almost LIMITLESS potential to take him places in DW and they literally ran him through a shredder in Four. Minutes. Of dialogue more completely than I think I have literally EVER seen someone destroy any project or character before. Like it has to be a world record. It HAS to be. It was almost impossible, what they did! They really in ONE four minute conversation absolutely obliterated every piece of their own ground work, 300 hours of in-game characterization, and one of the best NPCs they'd ever made. It...I honestly think I'm still in shock from the terminal velocity of it alone. It's almost beyond comprehending. And we'd seen them pull plenty of shit already like, what they did with DAI Varric was pretty impressive too, and Hawke. But they really had nothing like. It was a hydrogen-bomb of four minutes of writing. I...I've never seen someone throw a character on a grenade to such a degree. Never. I honestly would not have thought it was possible if I hadn't been there. I think I'm owed some kind of compensation for scarring. They really had a Beneath the Mask of unparalled writing. He's pretending to be lawful good all game and so reasonable and calm while secretly a chaos god pulling a long con, but you think it means uh-oh darth sidius might be in there but no, whenever the Mask Slips, it's Bugs Bunny cutting Florida off the US with a hand saw. It was easily one of the funniest and best ideas for a character of all time. Everything he did was hilarious. He also had a whole Becoming the Mask potential as far as getting endlessly blamed for his good intentions no matter how successful his acts were and remembered as not just a, but the villain in his pantheon, despite being easily the most or maybe only benevolent god. He's written in DAI and speaks as if he's been around for centuries alone, struggling to improve things, and at his breaking point. It would have been so easy to have him pull off a "I'm declaring war for my minority race and going to kill a lot of people to get them a country again, and if I'm remembered again as the villain and die alone this time hated like I always have been for trying to save my own, so be it. If you want me to be the villain, I may as well become it one last time. I've tried everything else. I'm exhausted, and I can't keep standing by and failing like I have for centuries." which would have been SUCH the motive and provided god-tier conflict and emotion, and been interesting and sympathetic.

And then in ONE DLC they retconned the entirety of elven history, made Ancient Elven Civilization that's BETTER obviously than their word-of-god based on indigenous cultures society, ofc, an Opulent Slaver Europeans Society, made his motive to restore Opulence and replace their culture with former High European Society again, made him a race supremacist that thinks restoring that society high is worth complete genocide against every species on the planet, made him not think of anyone else as PEOPLE in the most entitled intellectual dude-bro motive of all time (like damn DAI 'oh we planned this' sure you did it makes total sense for someone who sees everyone as NPCS he's going to kill anyway to lose it if I won't deliver flowers for a widower uh-huh sure you did), made him have decided all other cultures deserve complete antihalation after ONE. YEAR. of looking at them (BioWare bro--bro---what happened to the 'I've been trying. For years' ??? He only had TIME to what, get told he was weird by 2 Dalish clans before Inquisition even STARTED on that bullshit time track you gave him), seem to have forgotten about any practical application of the trickster thing??? Beyond lying? I guess???? Ignored the conflict with his huge ass five games legend in his pantheon entirely. OH. And he's not even a god!!! Great work everybody!! GREAT. WORK. And NINETY% of this!!! Was made canon in Four. Minutes. Of Dialogue at the ASS END of the LAST DLC for the entire!!! FUCKING!! GAME!!! FOUR. MINUTES!!

[fragileizywriting]

Hii, how are you?! I wanna ask number 7 "Was there a scene/ part you enjoyed writing most from this fic?" But like, from all the fics?! Like, what was the scene/part you enjoyed writing the most, ever, from any story of yours?! I changed the question bc i wanted to ask about your favorite part from each fic, but that may be too much and i dont want to bother you, so im asking in general, im sorry lol and sorry if i didnt make myself clear i have a sag mercury literally idk how to communicate

hi!!! how are you!!!!! i hope the new year has been kind to you so far!!!

you're not bothering me at all, don't worry, i love this question so much!!!

what was the scene/part you enjoyed writing the most, ever, from any story of yours?!

this is such a hard question to answer!!! i've been trying to figure it out for like, forever!! i usually enjoy writing most of the things i post (unless i mention it in the fic itself) but maybe i guess it would be the first chapter of eight for two? kitty!marinette is one of my favorite characters of all time, so it really just worked for me.

i think about her almost every day, which is such a shame considering idon't write her very often at all these days-- something about the first chapter just flowed. it was quick. it was snappy, and punchy, and i was really in the groove to write it. i was super impressed and proud of myself, for sure, and honestly i think it's the best thing i've ever written ever. which is strange. but i think that's when i peaked, tbh, nothing can top it for me (unless i actually finish the fic.) the entire fic is something so personal to me that i have a hard time sitting down and actually writing it, which is a shame, because the last chapter is something that i literally want to write down so badly D: i dream of that last chapter. hoh.

i wanted to ask about your favorite part from each fic

i think i had the most fun writing wing showin' when i first wrote it back in april? march? i was really needing some love-comfort to write, and that one really hit it on the head for me. (i haven't read the entire series through, but i've reread the second chapter so much because of the cuddling. where there be cuddling, there be izy!) fallin' is in the same boat. luka feeling upset and me feeling upset is such a good pairing, i'm telling you! we work great as a pair.

also, the first chapter of DL of course, was insane for me because i wrote the whole thing in a day. i blinked and there was a fic in front of me. i had completely pulled the story out of thin air. to this day, i have no idea what happened, but i'm really glad-- last year january was an amazing thing for me. i wrote, like, 100k+ words in a month for no reason at all. i hope to get close to that this year, too! that would be really nice.

my favorite part from locker talk was writing the third chapter!!! it just worked!!! i had found my groove!!! i was really happy with it!!!

bad days are always going to happen, but it's nice to have favorite things to read and write. some of these fics i wrote while going through some pretty heavy stuff, so when i think back to the entirety of last year, i can't remember what i was doing during that particular chapter, but i remember certain lines coming from me personally. like i said in the beginning, fallin' was rough. really rough. writing was the first thing that came to mind when i was having a bad day-- and when my long-term relationship ended, it was even harder. september was rough, but i remember writing comfort givin' just because i had to write it and get it out, and i really enjoyed writing it. like, a lot, it was so therapeutic!!!

i had a blast writing fire lily petals, especially since it was a challenge to write 5k words and publish every two days, that was a lot of fun-- even if i haven't finished it (yet!)

there's so many things i want to finish, and yet so little time!! i want to write every single story i think about and share it with y'all, even if it's not your interest, but this ADHD is so bad that if i do that i'm never going to get any of my fics done. i have to focus. i'm telling the truth when i say there's so many little oneshots i have that i can't work on because i've got Bigger Stuff Planned!!

thank you for asking anon 🥺 and you made perfect sense, don't worry!!! have a good week~

[ikusayu-no-hana]

ok so after staring at the costumes continuously for one hour ,,,,i may have discovered a few things.

starting off simple are the words on baku's and tsumugu's shirts. baku's reads: 'it will not change tomorrow/ beginning of the end/ desired world/ waiting on the world to change'. honestly theyre pretty random and generic lines but the last one is important since its a reference to an actual song: waiting on the world to change by john mayer. the lyrics are a criticism of the way the world works, which in the context of SLANG supports the idea that baku is just tsumugu's imaginary escapist self in a never-ending dream away from all mention of reality. tsumugu's shirt has a few lines from the sound of silence: 'I've come to talk with you again/Because a vision softly creeping/ But still remains/ Within the sound of silence' (theyre not perfectly transcribed from the actual song, but its clear they are referencing it.) i'll come to the significance of this later on.

coming to these three, initially i thought that they simply wore those somber colour schemes (b&w) to signify that they were in the "real" world and they had their respective roles to play: kai wearing white since he's a ghost and ito wearing black as she's mourning for him. but then....what explains tsumugu's colour scheme?

i think it represents dichotomy between the real world's tsumugu's guilt in "killing" kai, and dream world's baku denying he had any hand in killing muneo. he's essentially a middle piece whose literal life depends on him staying alive in his dream world. black and white, good and bad, real and imaginary, dead and alive, sister and brother.

which brings me to the next point: a teeny tiny bit of homoeroticism sprinkled in tsumugu/baku's and kai/muneo's interactions (this is all solely my interpretation btw, im not saying this is how it IS, just that this view explains a lot). it is mentioned that ito is tsumugu's lover irl, but in the dream world, there's no mention of baku and onemu's relationship. they barely exchange a few words in there and even then its on a topic centering around muneo. you're telling me tsumugu would go entire lengths to make up a perfect dream and then just not interact with his 恋人? also, there's something to be said about the fact that even in in imaginary world, baku allows muneo to pursue his 'realistic journalism' even though the entirety of dreamworld is built on the principle on non-reality. and, ofc, a

then comes tsumugu and kai's diametrically opposed literary interests: they literally have impassioned conversations about what they want to be and how they'll support the other's endeavors in it. kai is definitely a person tsumugu looks up to, respects, in a way you could call longing for something far away.

now coming to the words on tsumugu's shirt. the two lines they've chosen for it are really. And I mean really referencing kai. 'ive come to talk with you again/ a vision softly creeping' is LITERALLY about the ghost of kai!!! (since it's implied tsumugu can see Kai's ghost) and since we're counting white as representative of Kai and black as representative of Ito, it definitely is smth to note that the words in white are written on the black half of it, almost like his thoughts and feelings about kai are taking over what he feels for ito (rip)

also. like i said in my prev post's tags...muneo's little floofball on his hat literally is one of the tassels on baku's shirt. none of the other characters share any design motifs like that.

[suudonym]

all right you know what I’m stuck on the scene I’m trying to write so I’m just gonna take a second to go over the details of the single dad karamatsu au I was so attached to a while back and now am not actually sure if I’ll actually write but I don’t actually have any notes written down anywhere so might as well put em here

(that is to say, complete and total spoilers for a story that I may or may not write under the cut. very very long because apparently I had a whole lot of this planned out mentally)

so karamatsu’s got this bar he likes to visit sometimes because it has a nice aesthetic and it’s not too expensive so he goes alone just to feel cool. he even has an acquaintance there and they chat and drink sometimes and it’s just all around a good time and a favorite way to splurge when he wins at pachinko or something

one day he’s there and a woman shows up with a baby a little over a year old, flanked by a couple of intimidating guys in suits. she starts making a scene about how they hooked up a long time ago when he was really drunk and she’s been taking care of their baby alone for all this time while looking for him and now that she’s finally found him she’s not letting him off the hook without paying all the child support he weaseled out of

karamatsu’s really blindsided. she’s threatening all kinds of scary legal action and all he can do is shake his head and insist that he’s broke, unemployed, unskilled, has absolutely nothing to offer right now (and she is demanding that it be RIGHT NOW). in a fit of frustration, the woman gives the ultimatum that he can either come up with the money in a week or he can take the child indefinitely and have a taste of what she’s gone through. in a fit of desperation, karamatsu agrees to take the child

“...what?”

yeah, he says as he tries to convince himself that it’ll work out, because he has a big family and his mother has always always wanted a grandchild so if it’ll get net him a little leeway in how much time he has to get together the money she’s demanding, he’s okay with looking after the baby

the woman’s scowling but she agrees, shoves the crying baby into karamatsu’s arms, and turns to go.

but wait! what’s the kid’s name?

she stops and turns and looks at him for a second and then she gives her answer: aoi. it’s a little boy named aoi.

(kara’s actually kind of touched because, you know, he’s the blue one)

so the woman and her intimidating company go and karamatsu takes a second to apologize for making a scene to all the people that are staring - but only a second because crying baby and oh god everything just got really real really fast. he makes his way home pretty much dizzied by the prospect of having to explain this to his family

said explanation is about as hectic as he imagined it. matsuyo is fucking DELIGHTED and his brothers are fucking NOT because what the hell, he slept with a woman over a year ago (probably closer to two years, someone points out, since babies doing just manifest into existence immediately after sex) and NEVER TOLD THEM?! karamatsu’s excuse that he really and honestly does not remember it at all just doesn’t hold up because the others are the way they are. but it’s getting late and the baby is getting increasingly noisy as his needs go unmet so they let it go

karamatsu’s banished from the bedroom on the reasoning that there’s not room for a baby in their futon (I mean there probably is, since godmatsu managed to squeeze in there that one time, but more importantly none of them want a baby in the futon so that’s that) and ends up using a guest futon downstairs. the baby is really just not having a good time and cries and cries and cries and kara talks to him, saying he must miss his mother and kara’s sorry about all this and he doesn’t know if he can be a good father or if he even wants to be a father and how is he supposed to do this, how is he supposed to raise a child??

matsuzo comes downstairs and karamatsu apologizes, sure that the baby’s crying woke him up/kept him awake, and that’s part of it but actually matsuzo is there for a chat. so they talk about what a father’s abilities are and how matsuzo took care of the sextuplets by himself a lot when they were babies, like when matsuyo was sick or exhausted or had something she needed to do, and he assures kara that the whole “maternal instinct” thing is bullshit and promises him that he can do it - especially since he’s not actually doing it alone, he has his whole family for support

(and there are probably also some parting words about considering employment because babies are even more expensive than adults)

A-NY-WAY. things are more disjointed and vague from here on but the presence of a baby in the house, and the fact that it’s KARAMATSU’S baby, causes a lot of friction between the brothers. matsuyo’s super doting on aoi but she’s also a lot stricter on the sextuplets because they’re uncles now and they need to be responsible around the baby. the others treat kara increasingly coldly because 1) he’s either always talking about aoi or always has him with him and babies are obnoxious, smelly, and gross and 2) kara’s suddenly the family heirloom and they’re resentful of that. even chibita, who’s really into babies (ala the -kun episode where he tries to adopt an abandoned one), kicks them out of the oden stand to go and see when they show up without kara one night and explain the baby situation

(at some point they start saying that karamatsu should try to find the kid’s mom because it’s not fair that she just hoisted him off on their family and split and on one hand kara was really expecting to hear from her again sometime soon since she left her son in the hands of basically a perfect stranger but on the other hand he’s really glad that he hasn’t heard from her because he’s gotten attached to the baby and to the dad role... not to mention he kind of has his doubts about her credentials as a parent since she did pretty much just abandon the kid, so he’d rather not give aoi back to her)

karamatsu’s still thinking about what matsuzo said though and he feels guilty about making his parents pay for stuff like food and diapers for his son so he lowers his standards from “career” to “literally anything that will pay money” and snags a parttime job. matsuzo works all day of course and matsuyo is often out of the house too so the brothers end up responsible for aoi in turns when karamatsu has to go out. this goes on for a while but eventually someone, probably osomatsu, isn’t really paying attention and aoi ends up getting hurt as a result. kara’s pretty pissed off when he finds out about this and it throws more fuel on the fire that’s the still-growing tension between the brothers

eventually, ultimately, karamatsu decides he’s just gonna move out - he’s tired of burdening his family and burning bridges with his brothers and he wants aoi to grow up in a better environment. he changes jobs and starts working construction at night, which is kind of dangerous and really exhausting but it pays well and allows him to be home during the day to watch his son. he gets an apartment somewhere that’s not really great but he can afford it and that’s what’s important, and thus begins karamatsu’s life of independence

it’s... not anywhere near as glamorous as he always imagined it would be. his diet is shit because he prioritizes aoi’s needs, so basically the only time he gets to eat well is on the odd day when his parents or chibita visit to refill their baby charge and let karamatsu catch a break because they always bring/make proper food. add to that, he’s EXHAUSTED. working all night and taking care of a toddler all day leaves pitifully little room for rest and it wears him down something fierce but he keeps giving it his best because he doesn’t really have a choice, he’s all aoi has

it catches up to him, of course. karamatsu’s feeling really terrible but there’s bills to pay and a tiny precious mouth to feed so he drags himself off to work and ends up slipping up and getting hurt. it’s a minor injury but the real problem is that the cause of that slip-up was the flu. so now he’s home with a twisted ankle or something and the flu and he can’t take care of himself and he can’t take care of aoi (the flu is especially dangerous to young kids after all) and he’s just completely at a loss. he calls chibita practically begging for help, and chibita’s not heartless so he comes over to do what he can but he’s got bills to pay too you know? so when kara’s asleep and aoi’s occupied, he calls matsuyo and explains what’s going on

and matsuyo sends osomatsu

osomatsu’s still sore about the whole falling out plus the feeling of being abandoned by one of his brothers but matsuyo plays the “you’re the oldest” card so he grudgingly goes over. chibita fills him in on what’s up (ex. when’s aoi’s naptime and snacktime, when kara last took medicine, etc.) and leaves, and oso’s alone with aoi for the first time in foooreeeverrrr. but aoi’s a toddler now and so he’s a bit less obnoxious and smelly and gross and also he’s super worried about karamatsu and it’s hard to treat a kid like that too coldly so osomatsu ends up actually getting along with him okay, much to kara’s surprise and great relief when he finally wakes up

it all goes pretty well, bridges are rebuilt, the others stop holding grudges towards kara and aoi, and karamatsu gets a better job that won’t exhaust him and ruin his health with his dad’s recommendation. yaayy happy ending clap clap clap

haha no.

at some point much later, the police show up at karamatsu’s place one day. they explain that they apprehended some criminals for some crime or another and while in custody they wound up confessing to kidnapping a baby for ransom a long time ago. they were pressed for the full story and eventually gave it: they kidnapped a baby intending to hold him for ransom but the family wouldn’t pay so they went far away to avoid police pursuit and devised another way to get money out of the kid: extort someone for child support. they said that they spent a while figuring out a target and picked karamatsu because the information they got about him (from that acquaintance of his at the bar, who was there specifically for the sake of finding a guy like him) made them think that they could scare him into paying by threatening to sidle him with single fatherhood. well, they were wrong, but at least they didn’t have a kidnapped baby in their possession anymore so hey good enough, cut their losses and move on

karamatsu is... reeeally stunned. just. utterly disbelieving. he asks what that all means and of course it means that aoi has to be returned to his family. he tries to prepare himself for it but he’s devastated. he meets the family - the child’s real name is yuuto, and he remembers the way the woman looked at him when he asked the baby’s name and realizes she just said “aoi” at random because he was wearing blue that day. he tells yuuto’s parents all about his favorite snacks and toys and games and stories and the best way to give him a bath or put him to bed when he doesn’t want to and just, absolutely everything. he’s been living with the kid for like 2-3 years now and for that time he was his whole world. the parents seem kind of dismissive of him though and he’s just a little bit worried by that but he supposes he can understand if they want to learn about their son on their own instead of from a stranger

(at some point osomatsu probably tries to lighten the mood by saying something about well hey, so it wasn’t your kid after all, just like we all guessed from the beginning! he ends up getting punched)

and then he’s gone, and karamatsu is alone in that apartment that’s suddenly so drab and run-down and cramped and cold and lonely and the only thing keeping him going is the need to eat and the fear of shaming his family by saying “fuck it” and giving up, even though that’s all he really wants to do

some time goes by and karamatsu’s just really lonely with aoi/yuuto  around and eventually someone suggests that he go and visit. and that’s kind an exciting idea so he hunts down the address and goes for it, even though it’s winter and it’s freezing. when he arrives at the house (which is kind of big because apparently the parents are involved in some important and/or lucrative work), he sees little yuuto standing outside cold and crying

kara’s shocked and kind of angry and calls out and yuuto is just so happy to see him, running over and calling “papa, papa” even though karamatsu tries to gently correct him and remind him that it’s just “onii-chan” now - although he’s really not one to talk because he can’t help but say “aoi” himself

aoi explains that he got in trouble for making a mess and got yelled at and shut out and kara’s just livid because where’s your coat? your scarf? your hat? your boots? and aoi says he’s doesn’t get to have them right now because he was bad which is just. the last straw. karamatsu asks if aoi wants to come home with him, and aoi enthusiastically says yes

so karamatsu becomes an actual kidnapper. he does properly tell his family about it though so child protective services get contacted and one thing leads to another and it comes to light to aoi’s parents are neglectful at best, abusive at worst. his parents fight it because it would be a huge scandal for their son to be taken away and they accuse karamatsu of trying to ruin their reputations and careers and lives but cps ain’t havin it. aoi’s grandmother is contacted and things are put into motion to get him into her custody but she approaches kara and invites him to adopt aoi - not because she doesn’t love her grandson but because she can tell that her grandson really really loves karamatsu and vice versa and she knows that they were together for all that time and that kara would take good care of him

and that is the long.... LONG story of how karamatsu becomes a single dad