#it's like you want to be destroyed at this point

[rivervalian]

strap in time for a riverlore explanation:

ok so at the end of season 5, veronica’s evil dad hiram lodge places a bomb under betty and archie’s bed which goes off and the force of the explosion sends them into a parallel universe called rivervale where supernatural stuff happens.

satan himself comes to visit rivervale his name is lou cypher and everyone makes a deal with him. (unrelated to the plot, just wanted to let yall know)

they have a 5 episode arc in rivervale where all characters die but they don’t stay dead and in the end we find out archie created this reality to see his dead father once more which is very sweet and touching actually.

eventually the universes start to leak into one another and season 1 reggie shows up and picks a fight with the recasted reggie and veronica’s like we should have a threesome.

another jughead from another dimension comes in to fix this whole thing and his idea is to make out with veronica on archie’s bed because him and veronica are the antithesis or betty and archie.

anyways they eventually fix the timeline without bombs but here’s the catch: a jughead must stay in the teen sex bunker forever and write comics of riverDale and riverVale so that the two universes can coexist.

i would like to point out that at this point in time (at least in my opinion) there are 4 jugheads in the riververse: 1. riverdale jughead 2. rivervale jughead 3. narrator jughead we’ve all met in episode 1 and finally 4. teen sex bunker jughead who’s writing comics to prevent the two universes from collapsing

they return to the normal timeline but the main characters have gained superpowers as a result of their proximity to the supernatural. betty can see people’s auras, archie is invincible, veronica is toxic (literally), tabitha can control time, jughead can read and control minds and cheryl can manipulate fire.

by this point percival pickens arrives in town and he’s like i’m gonna make this place into a late stage capitalism dream land and archie’s like nuh uh you won’t. percival starts building a ghost train and he won’t pay the workers. archie and tabitha convince the workers to unionize by singing bread and roses.

there’s an episode where tabitha tries to prevent the mlk assassination. she also stops riverdale from becoming a sundown town. in the same episode i believe we find out tabitha is actually an angel she’s the guardian angel of riverdale. this realization comes to her as she’s drinking chocolate milkshake from the holy grail. yes, THE holy grail from jesus’ last supper.

percival pickens will gain even more powers from the upcoming comet so the gang has to stop it from destroying riverdale. they don’t know what to do though.

now would be a good time to mention cheryl has an ancestor called abigail blossom who was burned at stake for being a witch by archie, betty and jughead’s ancestors: archibald andrews, beatrice cooper and jedediah jones. this abigail was a lesbian and in love with toni’s ancestor: thomasina topaz.

we also find out abigail resurrected in the body of cheryl and another one of cheryl’s ancestors poppyseed blossom.

back to thomasina though. cheryl contacts abigail’s soul and she’s like ok i’ll help you only if you let me have one night with thomasina. so toni and cheryl have their souls trapped in a jar while abigail and thomasina use their bodies as vessels. they have lesbian sex and then abigail’s like yeah i’ll help you now. basically lesbian sex saves the world.

what do is that veronica is basically a human dialysis machine so she sucks out everyone’s powers and transfers them to cheryl who’s also a witch btw. cheryl destroys the comet but she can’t save the town completely unscathed so she creates a pocket of time in the 50s and places riverdale there. cheryl the lesbian is canonically the most powerful character in riververse.

the final season takes place in the 50s. the guardian angel tabitha shows up and she has everyone watch the previous 6 seasons of riverdale and everyone remembers. then on the last day of school it’s revealed that jughead, betty, veronica and archie have all been in a quad relationship this whole time. congrats riverdale for being the only show that has the balls to do that btw.

in the end betty is the only one alive from her class. it’s now 2023 and she’s like 80 (because remember they went back in time and grew old from there). she wants to go back to visit riverdale with the ghost(?) of jughead who’s like a genie granting her wish i suppose. and there we get another jughead so at this point there are canonically 5 jugheads in riververse.

in the final scene betty dies and goes to heaven which we find out is actually just pop’s chock’lit shoppe in the sky. she sits on her table with jughead, veronica and archie. with the heaven version, our number of jugheads has gone up to 6.

but it doesn’t stop there. the camera pans out into the parking lot. there’s yet another jughead there. he explains to us how they will always have this and they will never escape the comics or something along these lines. this is our 7th and i believe final jughead.

there you go this is the explanation: they never really died and will likely never ever die. even if they died, it wasn’t like they were dead the whole time. it was a great finale.

there are also many things i missed like julian the cursed doll coming back as cheryl’s evil twin julian completely replacing jason blossom and jason having his only ever speaking role etc but yeah you get the point

also this isn’t even the quarter of what happens in the show so if you have any questions just drop them and i’d be happy to answer them i love talking about riverdale

every single word of this feels like it was pulled out of a bingo machine

[cherryc1nnam0n]

I just had a nasty idea with Eddie at work and I need to get it out of my head like yesterday

Big trigger warning

Cw: CNC, allusions to kidnapping, roleplay, established relationship, public sex, nipple play, unprotected p in v, fingering, big dick!Eddie, dark!Eddie, mentions of the r word (r*pe), this is all just a roleplay so please don't come at me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were walking late at night, going to a date with your boyfriend at a restaurant you guys had planned for days now, you had dolled yourself up for him and we're click clacking away in your heels as you made quick pace through the dark streets

What you did not expect was for someone to come out of the dark and grab a hold of you, dragging you into the darkness of a hallway, all you could smell was weed and a strong musky smell

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're so pretty" said the man as he watched you on top of him

Completely naked on his lap in the back of the van he had shoved you into, your hands tied behind your back and a cloth in your mouth to muffle your pleads for mercy

For what you could make out in the darkness of his van was a mess of long curls and some big dewy eyes tracing your whole body with a hunger in them you had never seen in anyone before, it almost made you want to let whatever what's going to happen, well, happen, but the knowledge of him being a complete stranger was nagging on you

"Hmm? What's wrong sweetheart? Scared? I'm not going to hurt you baby" he said sweetly, almost too sweetly

You ripped your head away from his wanting hand that tried to caress your cheek, he tsk at you

"Don't make this more difficult than it should be, princess"

You narrowed your eyes at you, you had stopped screaming a while back when you realized no one could hear you even if you ripped your lungs out screaming for help and the cloth in your mouth did not help either

So there you were, trembling and naked on the lap of a strangely attractive man, in the back of his van, about to be raped and murdered most likely

He was playing with your tits, fumbling with them and pulling your nipples out, nursing on them one at a time, suckling like a newborn as he grunted with his mouth full of your boob, you couldn't help but grind on him, purely by instinct

"Naughty girl, grinding your filthy pussy on a stranger's cock"

He chuckled as his fingers started rubbing your clit, your back arched and you grinded on him again, his fingers breached you and you moaned, eyes rolling back and a shiver ran down your spine when his rings touched you as he plunged them deeper in your pussy that was soaked

"Fuck, so wet for me huh? You like this don't you naughty girl? Yeah you like being played with by a stranger"

You just closed your eyes praying this would end quicker, but your luck wasn't that much

You heard a buckle, a button opening and a zipper and heard some shuffling, when you finally looked down you saw a monster between the stranger's legs

Could be about 8 inches of pure cock that were staring at you, pointed at your pussy, ready to destroy your insides

Now it wasn't very fair that you were completely naked and he was fully clothed with only his dick out, but this wasn't really ideal anyway

"Come here, lemme fuck that drooling pussy"

He grabbed your hips and manhandled you as to where your pussy was perfectly liked up with his rock hard cock, the pink head leaking pre cum in anticipation, it looked kind of cute being all needy for you, girthy and veiny too

"Yes like that baby, lemme impale you on my big cock, fuuuck~" he said as he started to lower you onto himself "Fuck baby, yes suck me into your pussy, fuck so tight huh?" He snarked as you clenched around him "Fuck, so good for me baby, just a couple more inches" he suddenly slammed you down onto him, your eyes rolling back, hands fighting against your restrains, he sighed as he threw his head back in pleasure, groaning as he felt your wetness around him finally

"Fuck, your pussy was maaaade for me baby" he slurred "It fits my cock perfectly and with no hesitation, such a naughty girl"

He started bouncing you at his own pace on his dick, your moans were muffled and choked out as he kept a fast pace, squelching sounds invaded the van and you could only roll your eyes as his cock head hit your g spot dead on, the sounds coming from between your legs driving you insane

"Mmm fuck baby, so good for me, just drooling for my dick baby, fucking weeping"

Your head hung low but his hand around your neck made you look at him, his eyes filled with lust as his hips fucked into you to meet you as if you were a fleshlight he was just using, because that's what you were right now, just a toy

"Yeah you like that don't you? You like being my toy naughty girl? Yeah, I can tell from how hard you're squeezing me" he bit his lip, going down to nurse on your right nipple, all while looking up at you

His brows furrowed and he let go of your tit, still bouncing you on his cock he seemed lost in thought and then he finally spoke.

"You seem quiet baby, here lemme take that off you" he said pulling out the cloth from your mouth "There, now you can make all the noise you want baby"

"Ngh, fuck you"

"Oh baby..." He cooed "You already are" he chuckled on your ear

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soon enough he had came inside you, filling you up to the brim with litters of his sticky and warm cum

"You okay baby? Did I go too hard?"

You smiled at him as he cleaned you off delicately

"I'm better than ever honey"

He came up to kiss you sweetly, he always loved to play into your twisted fantasies

And to be honest, he loved it too much...

[memingursa]

The funny thing to me about American Liberal, specifically the Democratic party, fearmongering about China in 2024 is that we have so much more immediate issues to deal with. Like objectively.

We have Climate Change and mass failing infrastructure to deal with (A Green new deal could of addressed it, the Democratic party scared of Republican attacks buried it)

We have cops who will murder you or your dog, cry about it on the news and get a promotion and months of paid vacation (Defunding the police could of addressed it, the Democratic party scared of Republican attacks buried it)

We have massive wealth inequality and class disparity that Nazi Collaborator Elon Musk was able to buy his way into Power (Taxing the Rich at levels Pre Ronald Reagan could address it, the Democratic party scared of Republican attacks buried it. Also Obama basically enabled this with his response to the 2008 financial crisis but that’s a longer discussion)

We have student debt and medical debt crippling young people in this country (Getting Rid of it could have addressed it, the Democratic party scared of Republican attacks buried it after several half measures by Biden)

There’s also the fascism at home and the imperial expansion and genocide draining resources and so much more but you get the point. China ain’t going to destroy Us, we are already past halfway there. Leftist policies actually could have addressed this issue but Liberals wanted to be bffs with the American Fascist movement.

[wantondoe]

Wakey wakey

PART 2 FOR "Sleep tight, dear"

Hazbin Hotel, Alastor x doe reader, fluff

Plot in a nutshell: Alastor finally reunites with his darling doe (you) after her long hibernation. Shoutout to @luc1dw0rld for the ideas. Now, get cozy...

Ever since you fell into your deep slumber, the hibernation, Alastor had been struggling. In fact, suffering immensely was a more accurate way to put it. He hadn't been able to keep up his charming and confident persona like before. Instead, he would snap at anyone who looked at him the wrong way. He'd get pissy when someone would mention your name or joke about you never waking up from the hibernation.

Alastor spend his days working, hoping to create a distraction from his emotional turmoil. During dinners with the hotel staff, he's keep staring at the empty chair next to his, a clear reminder of your absence.

He counted days for your awakening. He'd meticulously plan the perfect meal for you when you'd wake up. He'd see if the bathroom was in a perfect condition for a warm, relaxing bath after you'd wake up. He assembled the shampoo bottles and soap bars on the nearby stool and folded two soft towels near the tub.

Alastor never imagined he's do this to anyone, acting like a servant. But when it came to you, he'd even wash your feet with his shirt. He'd do anything for your well-being.

Ever since the hotel was miserably destroyed in the extermination attack, Alastor had made sure to add an extra wing during the rebuilding. See, Alastor had a vision. He wanted for you to have a private room for the hibernation. He still remembers when you two walked down the aisle as he covered your eyes.

"Are we there yet?" you had asked excitedly.

"Just a few more steps, darling", he had whispered, his voice almost seductive. He had kicked the door open and moved his large hands away from your eyes, earning a delighted gasp from you.

Now he was walking down that short aisle, excited to see if you would already be awake. Today was the day. He carefully opened the door, revealing a spacious bedroom with a nice bathroom attached to it. The windows let in some light. With a snap of his fingers, the small lamps and fairy lights lit up, creating a comforting atmosphere. He carefully moved closer to the bed.

There you were, his dearest doe, resting on the makeshift bed. Alastor moved closer, seeing your body rise and fall peacefully. Your soft cheeks were a lovely shade of pink and not pale like earlier. He reached out to touch your smaller hand, smiling fondly at the warmth. You were waking up.

Alastor's red eyes filled with love and adoration as he stared down at your sleeping face, his heart aching to see your beautiful eyes open again. He hummed quietly as he moved his clawed fingers on your head, combing them through your hair. He's stay next to you on the nest, he was confident to stay until you woke up, even if it meant staying there for the whole day.

He wouldn't want to miss your awakening, after all. Alastor's heart ached at the thought of you waking up alone, hungry and sweaty. So, he stayed.

The day went on quickly and Alastor was getting slightly concerned as you still hadn't woken up. His brows furrowed, he tried to come up with ways to wake you up. At one point, Angel Dust peeked in the room, his grin wide.

"So, is the doe awake yet? No?" the arachnid asked, raising a brow.

Alastor huffed in annoyance. There was a reason why he had build a whole wing for your hibernation room. He didn't want to deal with the others, he only wanted to be with you.

"Very kind of you to check up on us", Alastor responded, his static voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Hey charmer, try kissing her on the lips", Angel mocked, "it worked in Sleeping Beauty after all!"

"You little- That's silly!" Alastor snapped, his face heating up.

"Well, best of luck with that!" Angel winked an eye and left before the Radio Demon could come up with a comeback. Alastor rolled his eyes. Of course the wanton pornstar would splutter nonsense like that... Alastor would never take advantage of you while you were in such a vulnerable state, never!

Even though, he couldn't deny that your lips did look rather inviting. He felt utterly silly doing this, but he carefully placed his lips onto yours. His kiss was gentle, even divine, as ironic as it was. After all, he was just a bloodthirsty overlord, trying to romance you in Hell.

He carefully pulled away, hoping to see you react. But there was nothing, of course. He mentally smacked himself for believing that his kiss would actually do something. He laid on his back, staring at the ceiling with a puzzled look. Alastor wasn't a particularly patient demon and he was getting frustrated waiting for you to wake up-

His heart almost stopped as he felt a familiar touch on his hand. The gentle touch was loving, the smaller fingers wrapping around his. His eyes widened and he slowly turned his head to face you.

Your beautiful eyes fluttered open, your doe ears perking up as you woke up. Alastor quickly turned back on his side, reaching for your head, holding it carefully. "There you go darling... Take your time, there's no rush... You're doing so well. I'm here for you", he cooed softly. "My my don't you look lovely..."

His heart fluttered as you smiled weakly, your eyes gazing at him. "Hey..." you say weekly, your mouth dry from the long hibernation. Alastor noticed the discomfort and immediately summoned fresh water for you helping you sit up. He carefully moved your fragile body to sit up before bringing the water glass to your lips.

After your mouth didn't feel like sandpaper anymore, you started talking again. Your voice was like music to his ears. He had missed your voice more than you could ever know.

Alastor found himself all emotional, seeing you so responsive again. He wouldn't stop hugging you, possessively pinning you down on the makeshift nest. A low growl escaped his lips as he inhaled your lovely scent.

You giggled lightheartedly, hugging him back. " Calm down, I'm not going anywhere."

"I missed you so much", he mumbled on your neck. "Nothing felt the same without you", he mumbled in your neck. He ran his long fingers along your hair and occasionally rubbed the base of your doe ears.

"You're so cute like this", you giggle, teasingly poking his nose.

"I'm not cute", he argued.

"But you are! You're my silly, cute little buck!" you teased as Alastor was secretly enjoying the way your hands played with his red strands.

Alastor would never admit it to anyone, but he did find your teasing and silly nicknames extremely endearing. He let out a content sigh. He had missed this, he had missed you.

"Thank you for taking care of me during the hibernation", you look into his eyes with genuine gratitude. His crimson pools stared back at you, full on adoration and tenderness.

"Of course, darling. Anything for MY doe..."

[flightofthejackdaw]

Me whenever I see someone completely misinterpret Jayce’s character and dumb him down to “privileged white boy” (even though he’s not even white omg):

It’s so frustrating, like in the show where EVERY CHARACTER is morally grey and you’re supposed to consider every side to the story, you decide that this one guy should be shit on

Like yes he didn’t make any good choices as a councillor and was spontaneous in his decision making, but he was only a councillor for like a few days at most and literally doesn’t know shit about politics as HES A SCIENTIST!

Also he was trying to help the Undercity, him and Viktor developed technology to better their lives and were planning ways to clean their waters but BOTH got caught up in the progress of Piltover that: “In the effort to do great, we forgot to do good” they both lost their way and forgot about those they originally wanted to help

Yes he didn’t destroy the Hexcore when Viktor told him too, but he was panicking after the explosion literally KILLED VIKTOR and did the only thing he could think of in this chaotic situation, he then later fulfilled his promise by destroying the Hexcore when he shot Viktor (though at that point it was little to late as Viktor had already become part of the arcane web)

And also to reiterate HES NOT WHITE! Like I know his mum only shows up for a few seconds but she’s not white either and it’s made abundantly clear in his backstory that they are not from Piltover and Jayce’s mother married into the Talis family (Jayce is quite literally an immigrant) So don’t erase his ethnicity just because you don’t like him

My boy fucked up a lot but so did everyone else, so I stand by my cancelled wife he just wanted to hang out in his lab with his boyfriend and make cool gadgets to help people

[mllemaenad]

Huh. Well, now I'm very annoyed. Bioware couldn't be arsed to keep track of the world state changes anymore, so they're just torching everything. And the thing is, this is exactly what those world state imports are for.

You can certainly critique Mass Effect 3, but I've always felt it used its save import well. The world is very literally ending in that game and any reasonable player is immediately going to ask: where are my friends? Your companions foremost, obviously, but also NPCs you've helped or who helped you, or even just random people you encountered. You start doing a head count day one. Some characters made actual appearances, but there were also emails and ambient dialogue. Sometimes you found out that a character was fine – and that was a delightful relief. Sometimes you found out that they weren't – and that hurt. The point is, it made it feel as though your world was ending. Not just a world.

This is the moment where every change you've saved across the previous three games comes into play.

I'm certainly not saying this must be the last Dragon Age game. But it does feel like the end of an arc. We're answering all the big questions first posed in Origins: where did the Blight come from; what became of Arlathan, why are the dwarves in a constant apocalyptic state? Any new game will be about something else.

And here, as in Mass Effect 3, we are facing the end of the world.

The thing is. The thing is. I did not explicitly prep for this scenario. But bloody hell am I prepped for this scenario.

The King of Ferelden and the White Divine are both veterans of the Fifth Blight. The Hero of Ferelden is alive and well (since they have not told me otherwise) and well prepared at Amaranthine – and her sister is queen in Orzammar. She also has Awakened darkspawn allies to call on. The Grey Wardens were not expelled from the south, so should be on hand to face the crisis. And hey – the leader of the newly freed College of Enchanters is herself a former Warden. We are as Blight ready as it's possible to be!

I want to hear about how the king worked out that Denerim was beyond saving in time to evacuate the civilians because he could sense the oncoming horde well before anyone else could.

I want to hear how Warden-Commander Brosca, flanked by Nathaniel Howe and Sigrun, came out to lead the refugees to safety.

I want to hear that Prince Endrin led the Orzammar reinforcements that saved Redcliffe, and his aunt beamed with pride.

I want to hear that the Divine herself took command of the defence of Val Royeaux, and that the mages came out in force to assist the woman who backed their fight for freedom.

I want to hear that the Champion of Kirkwall returned with her Warden lover in the city's darkest hour, defending the people as they fled, and that with Merrill's assistance the alienage elves made it onto the last ship to escape the harbour.

If we're going to bloody Starkhaven, of all places, I want an acknowledgement that the Blight has forced a reconciliation – because last I heard Sebastian was getting his arse handed to him by Aveline.

I want to hear that the Grey Wardens are everywhere, because they never left.

I want to hear about intelligence gathered from Awakened darkspawn, and their bewildered frustration that these new invaders are different.

I'm not going to work out who lives and who dies right now, because this is new information and I'm still processing it. And in any case, it's not my point.

If they're destroying the world, I want it to be my Thedas, not a Thedas. I want these stories to have mattered.

[sevs-corner]

Tf 141: Price and his marriage problems with you

Angst to comfort 'cause I just can't deal with leavin' it hangin' and being angry at the writer (me) for just endin' it like that Playlist Inspo: Yaur, it ain't a song but a whole ass playlist 'cause we in for a hellavu ride *fire sound effects*

Price just sometimes gets too prideful for his own good, his bravado taking the step forward instinctively when it comes to serious conversations involving you.

Deep down, he always wants what's best for you-- for you and him together as partners.

But that sometimes doesn't get translated in the way you would understand his intent, and this is proven true once again when he comes to learn that you driven home drunk after a night out with your friends.

"You could've gotten hurt."

Price, whenever in an argument with you, would never shout. That to you, speak volumes from the way he positioned himself to a wide legged stance, arms crossed to the way his icy glare seeped into the words coming out of his mouth.

But you've had enough of it.

"Well, you look like you could care less." You huffed out, slamming your front door closed and tossing away your shoes.

"Care less?" He hums, one eyebrow raised as he takes in your disheveled appearance. "Then my texts asking where you were and offering a ride home are just nothing to you?"

"No!"

"Then tell me," he steps closer but you step back. "how does it look like to you?"

This feels like he's cornering you, badgering for an answer he wants to hear and not about how you feel-- but you just can't seem to gather the courage to speak on it, after being denied of such things for so long.

So you bit your lip, backing up so far with your arms wrapped around, that you hit your back on the door-- and you had half a mind to run away from this, from everything, and most of all-

From him.

Price sees the panicked look on your face and feels his hand tucked under his armpit twitch, but his rational brain stops him-- knowing that if he let his inhibitions go right now, he'd see you hurt even more.

"Darlin'," he softly calls out this time, "tell me." But the demand remains the same-- and for a moment this made you believe he'd finally get the point and ask how you feel.

About him. About how this relationship have crumbled into.

"Y'know what John," you scoffed, "you wouldn't understand anyways."

He feels the ire grow from the way his hairs stand on end at your dismissiveness, your unwillingness to give an olive branch and just let him help you.

"Tell me anyways." He insists and you couldn't help how you obviously rolled your eyes at his one insistent dialogue option. Persistent in his ways of getting you to talk.

"And I said," you growled, "you wouldn't understand nor care to anyways!"

"THEN FUCKING MAKE ME!"

He cracks.

You crack.

And something inside both of you does as well.

Like a snap of a cord, the tension in its high rise grow cold.

Silence permeating the area you once found comfort in and called- "home."

Price sees the terror in your eyes and he just fucking knows he fucked up.

Fucked everything up just because he broke first-- snapped too hard at someone who held so dearly, but has now broken himself.

And he's panickily trying to fix it. Fix you. Fix each other.

His deepest nightmare coming into reality, the side of him he tried so hard to keep from you resurfacing, the acknowledgements of his faults getting the better of him as he you stare each other soullessly-- eyes not showing the same spark it did the first time he took you out.

Price knows he gets scary and unreasonable-- its part of his identity and how he deals with the other aspect of his life that he tries so damn hard to keep away from you.

Yet here it is- making its appearance in the worst. fucking. time. possible.

The silence is now broken with a sob coming from you.

You, who is unable to take in the state of the proud John you know and love now look to utterly destroyed from the one sentence leaving his mouth.

And the fact that its now out there, speaking a thousand emotions behind the four words he released in desperation.

You do love him. You love John so much sometimes it hurts to see him hurt you.

You're so damn frustrated with yourself that you can't handle being hurt by the man you love- you feel so pathetic, unable to take his concerns guised in criticism, his messages of tough love behind the formal texts on your phone, his small actions of appreciation from respecting your space and letting you breath after another argument.

"Are we done for John?"

You ask, through hiccups, forcing the matter on hand-- one of which you both desperately avoided for so long.

You wait.

You could hear the air still once again, it taking a chokehold on you, making you more desperate of the deprived oxygen.

You hear him shuffle to you.

The arms you previously wrapped around yourself were now around someone else, a different set now covering your own torso.

"My love," he chokes out, a soft "...Please" is all that he could manage.

"Please what?" You, yourself could barely respond but you knew you had to. He had to as well.

"Don't..." he sighs, head falling onto your shoulder. "...don't say such things."

"Why not?"

He feel him still.

"Tell me John."

He feels your position now. Vulnerable, wounded, and cornered without a choice.

"I'm sorry," he finally says with his chest heavy, "I'm so sorry my love, please."

He grabs your face desperately, hands now cupping your face instead of your waist.

And you could just see- how equally broken this man is.

You never saw Price cry, but that one time he slotted that ring on your finger and finally called you, 'his.'

But this... this is completely different.

From the way his eyes are dilated, not in love, but in genuine distraught. His hands shaky, not in nervousness, but anxiousness. His hands soft, not in care, but of fright.

If this is destroying him, then it did for you too.

Price continues to beg and plead, wiping your tears and dismissing his own. It doesn't matter if he can taste his salty tears and snot-- you just mattered more, and refusing to just stand there and watch you cry.

With a shaky breath, you finally raise your hand to his hand softly grabbing it and Price thinks he finally got to you.

But you pull it away.

Instead, you pull in downward and intertwine it with yours, slightly swinging it between you.

"John."

You call out and he opens his ears, replies, anything to get you talking--, "yes my dear?"

"I'm hurt."

He's about to ask why, where, how-- he wants to know everything.

"And I think I'm hurting you... well, more like us."

He shakes his head, disagreeing immediately.

"Darling, no." He fumbles his words, "its me- I'm hurting you, hurting us, and I-."

"No, its my fault."

"No, its mine."

"No, I just sometimes can't take it."

"Then its me! I'm at fault."

But you both insist and it seems endless until you both run out of breath again, yet... your intertwined hands persist. Grip so tight that you wouldn't even think of letting go.

This...makes you laugh, a soft one, and John swear he could hear bells ringing again.

You test it and try to pull away but he doesn't let you.

You giggle again and its infectious that Price couldn't help doing it as well.

"Why..." his chuckles die down but a smile stays painted on his lips, "why were you laughing?"

You shook your head and continue swinging your hands with more energy, "don't know..."

"But," you raised your head- eyes connecting once more, "this is just so silly."

"Silly?" He scoffs, so confused at the how quick the emotions are changing.

"Silly." You insisted but end of sighing, hands slowing down.

"I think," you began with your voice down back to a whisper, "we should be honest and talk."

Price immediately nods in agreement and adds a, "and take a step back?" And he does this literally too, making you chuckle.

Realizing as well at how cold the room has been, contrasting the warmth of your hands.

"yeah..." you mumble and unconsciously reach out for him again. "let's try... again?"

He reaches for you but this time, his grip is soft as if he was ready to let you pull away again.

"Together."

A/N: gonna be makin one for the other boiyos too so... part 1/4? :>> Masterlist for my other works here!

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Pack Chapter 14

Trigger Warnings: Chan is a meanie, angst

"What do you mean she was gone from your sight, Minho!" Chan shouted. "She wasn't supposed to leave. I told her. I don't know why you're blaming me! She would have been fine on her own in the covenstead. It's not my fault she is undisciplined." Minho growled in frustration. "You're right. She is undisciplined and reckless, but you should have kept an eye on her, Min. You, of all people, should have known that, " Chan said in frustration.

They had been arguing the past twenty minutes about Y/N following the potential stalker to get a note. Y/N could have easily been jumped or kidnapped. This was so far her stupidest decision and quite frankly Chan was getting fed up with it. Even some of the wolves had commented after today. They understood her recklessness with Ateez because she had Hyunjin and Seungmin, but going solo was something Chan wouldn't tolerate. He had to discipline her, she had been here long enough. "Tell Y/N to come to my office," Chan gruffly said to Minho who nodded and walked off to find Y/N who was currently sitting with Changbin on the sofa. "Chan wants to see you in his office," Minho said as he walked past the living room to head to the cleaning cupboard. "What. Why?" Y/N asked. "Don't know," Minho answered, except he did know, but that was something for her to find out.

When Y/N got up and walked towards Chan's office her blood ran cold. It felt too eerily quiet and she didn't like it. It reminded her of going to see Hongjoong or Wooyoung when she was in trouble and she hated the feeling. It made her feel weak and alone. Right now she didn't want to even knock on the door and go in, but she had to. "Come in," Chan called. His voice was colder than normal. It was distant. Y/N entered the room to see Chan on his computer, typing away. It was almost as if he didn't see her or notice her existence, which wasn't true in the slightest. He was purposely making her feel uncomfortable. He wanted her to understand why she was being punished. "Channie, is everything okay?" Y/N asked meekly. "You tell me little wolf," Chan answered. His arms crossed as he looked at her. "I know it was stupid." Y/N sighed. "But honestly, I wanted to know what they wanted." "Is that all you have to say?" Chan asked. He was shocked at her mere apology.

Chan nodded his head, thinking for a moment before he got up to lean on his desk. His arms were crossed and his chest was puffed out. He was dominating her. Showing her who was the alpha and who wasn't. "Now listen here, Y/N. You have defied every wolf since you've been here. The first time. Fine. I can accept that. You are new to your role. The second time. Alright. The fourth and fifth? Seriously, it's ridiculous at this point, even for an omega like yourself." Chan's voice was low as he emphasised each word so it was branded in her brain. "How many times do we have to keep dealing with you being reckless? Huh? I'm fed up with it because you're not learning your lesson and I'm not punishing my wolves any longer." Chan stated. "There mine too!" Y/N whispered. "I honestly am sorry. I didn't think." "They are not your wolves. You are theirs. You're their omega. That is all. Nothing more. Nothing less. Stop acting like an alpha who can take charge because you're not good at it." Chan answered back. His eyes glancing at her submissive head. She was cowering but also defying him. "Look at me Y/N," Chan called out. " From now on you will not leave this house, until I care to let you out. You will redo your nest because I've seen to it broken. If you defy me once more, you will go downstairs." "Ok," Y/N muttered. Her eyes fixated on the piece of dirt on the floor. She felt embarrassed, humiliated. Worst of all it was him denouncing her completely and destroying her nest that she worked hard on.

When Y/N reached her bedroom her heart shattered. Her nest was gone. Her bedsheets were moved. Blankets were thrown everywhere. Items had been stolen. She felt sick. She couldn't believe he actually did that to her, so Y/N stormed out of her room to find him. "Where the fuck is Chan?" Y/N yelled, frightening Jisung and Jeongin. "He left for work. What's wrong?" Jeongin asked. "My nest. Is broken." Y/N yelled, making Jeongin look down. He had heard Chan was going to punish her but he didn't think he would take it that far. "That was Hyunjin. He broke it. Why don't me and Jisung help you fix it agai-" "Don't bother," Y/N growled as she stomped upstairs straight into Hyunjin's first. Y/N headed towards his wardrobe, pulling out his Versace clothes and ripping them apart, before starting on his bed. She ripped everything apart. Whether that was literally or metaphorically it didn't matter, she was hurt and angry. After she was satisfied she headed towards Chan's office to pull his books off the shelf and messed up his paperwork. She did anything that satisfied her anger.

Jeongin caught her and begged her to stop, stating it wouldn't help but she didn't listen. She was on a mission to relieve her emotions. Jeongin didn't know what to do except follow her pitifully. He felt sad for her. She worked hard on her nest and now it was shattered. "Baby, please don't do this. You'll make it worse." Jeongin cried out again. He wanted it to stop but the wolf growled at him. "At least let me fix your nest. Make it all better." Jeongin begged but the female wolf didn't care. "I honestly couldn't care less," Y/N growled as she shoved him out of the way. Jeongin sulked and walked away back downstairs to Seungmin who hugged the youngest wolf. He was feeling conflicted. Jeongin wanted to call Chan and tell him what he did was wrong but at the same time, it was his fault. Jeongin was the one who told Chan he wasn't happy with her risking things and now he got her punished. "Maybe you shouldn't have done that," Seungmin whispered as he held the younger wolf. "I didn't know he would destroy her nest did I?" Jeongin whined. Jeongin sat up and rubbed his eyes when he heard a bang along with a crash. "What was that?" Jeongin asked. "I think that was your room," Seungmin stated, causing Jeongin to cringe.

Felix came running down into the living room as he saw his mate's angry face going in and out of people's rooms. "What's wrong with baby?" Felix asked as he bit his nails in distress. "Chan punished her for disobedience by destroying her nest-" "HER NEST!" Felix shouted. "That's her safe place. That's something we built together." "I know Lix. I know but we can't do anything now." Jeongin stated. "We can. We can make her happy. We can fix her nest." Felix stressed. "Felix do not go up those stairs," Jeongin commanded causing the beta to whimper, he was hurting because she was hurting. "I have a feeling Chan is not going to like us if we interfere," Jeongin stated worriedly. There was nothing they could do. "Can I at least comfort her? Please." Felix whispered. Before Jeongin could even give permission the beta ran up the stairs and pulled the female wolf into his room, allowing her to growl, hiss and cry. Felix wanted her to let out all the emotions she felt so he could comfort her, but it didn't last long, because Chan came back. "Y/N GET HERE NOW!"

Taglist for the iconic readers:

@galaxy4489 @reallychaoticwoo @leezanetheofficial @mbioooo0000 @jisungs-iced-americano @maybeimmia @hwangrfrnd@wolfo2027 @kayleefriedchicken @leamueller920 @borahae-reads @jennibahng @cookiesandcreammy @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @jc003 @hpnsfwaddict @pixie0627 @maggicotton @jellymochii @itzreetal987 @jennibahng @vampkittenb82 @catlove83 @thatgirlangelb @hyunmikim @skzdreamer13 @liv1sworld @upsidedownchaire @jutdwae-flower @danceonmyheyday @tsunderelintz @notevenheretbh1 @catlove83 @h0rnyp0t @hash2013 @emi-han @iknow-uknow-leeknow @jigglypuff3000 @aalexyuuuhm @missseoulite @ihrtlix @estella-novella @xxeiraxx @fr34k4c1dr41n

~ Taglist closed due to Tumblr only allowing a certain amount ~

[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

I don't trust Joanne at all.

I don't get why people use Joanne's words and motives as part of trying to figure out Amanda, Wooly, and Hameln.

Now let me clear this up now: I do not think Joanne is a bad person. She is willing to do anything to save her brother. And I think we need to understand that that anything is not within our best interests.

First off, I'm probably a bit biased considering I didn't trust Joanne from the very beginning. We meet this masked stranger who is somehow in our aunt's house. (Seriously, how did she get in there? Kate may have given her the keys but... why didn't she tell us about Joanne at all? If Joanne is helping Kate, shouldn't she have said that Joanne might help us too?)

I mean, I think it was a bad idea for Riley to just go into Joanne's car (and sleep in it no less) considering Joanne hadn't yet given us any real proof of her identity or even her name. Like Riley, stranger danger?!

Like if she had turned out to be someone from Hameln coming to kidnap Kate and/or Riley then this would've been really bad. I know she isn't, but at that point Joanne could've been anybody. And we just... went with her without question.

Then we break into the library with her. Like... even if she had Kate's keys she's not an employee there... so that's breaking and entering.

Then let's talk about Joanne's speech. Kate died because of her. Because she was willing to do anything to get her brother back... because she pushed Kate too far. Joanne admitted that this was mostly- if not all her fault. Now, I think she could be blaming herself a bit too much... it's probably not all her fault. But she also admitted that she used us. For her own gain. Not for Kate or our best interests.

But I think the interesting thing about this is that even though Joanne admits that she did all this... it doesn't stop her from doing it again.

In that Cassette tape, Kate was telling us what she wanted... she wanted us to stop. She wanted us to escape and never deal with Hameln's wrath. But instead of respecting Kate's wishes, Joanne goes directly against them, telling us to fight Hameln.

Once again, I'm not saying Joanne is evil or a terrible person. Just that she's working purely for her own goals... our safety and best interests are not on their radar like they were on Kates.

The whole scene of the Wooly monster killing her could mean anything, not just that it's siding with Hameln. I mean, it could definitely be siding with destroying the tapes... it could also be protecting Riley and Kate from a person who clearly dangerous to them specifically.

That night she screamed at Kate to give her those tapes... and I imagine she was probably pushing Kate really hard to find a solution. Kate and Riley are the only two known characters working in Amanda (and to some extent Wooly's) interests of escaping the tapes and ending the show so it can't hurt anyone anymore.

In the "Do you feel safe tape" Amanda warns us about strangers, and also seems to stop trusting us when she hears Joanne's voice. Remember, Joanne is not working in Amanda's best interests which seem to be our best interests as well. She doesn't want to save Rebecca, she wants to save Jordan. Kate probably knew that destroying the tapes would hurt Amanda and Wooly, she probably would have told Joanne this, but Joanne doesn't care. Amanda doesn't trust Joanne. She has every reason not to. We have every reason not to. For she is someone who is willing to sacrifice anything to save someone she loves... and as noble as that is... that includes us. Kate, Riley, Amanda, and Wooly. If it meant saving her brother... she probably wouldn't think twice about doing something that would bring them harm.

What I'm saying is, both demons recognized Joanne as a threat. Now does this mean they are both working to protect us? I have no idea. But Joanne being a threat to Riley and Kate is an interesting piece of the puzzle to consider.

I don't trust Joanne because she is only in it for her goals and not ours. Not that she's a bad person for doing so, plenty of people could probably imagine being willing to do almost anything to save someone they love. But with a person like that... you just can't trust everything they do and say.

Wooly warned us about strangers. Amanda warned us about trusting people. They were probably warning us... about Joanne.

[m1dori-eyes]

I think that calling a group of people transmisogynistic just because they haven't yet told the specific stories involving trans women that you want to hear seems like a bit of an overstep. As a trans woman, I have literally never gotten any kind of transphobic impression from any of their content. The original post even seems to acknowledge that the cast members are nice to trans women in every single interaction that they've ever been recorded with having with trans women, but then it goes on to say that they probably all just see trans women as dick jokes and side characters, with zero supporting evidence for that claim? Don't start a post with "Dropout's transmisogyny problem" if there's not any actual transmisogyny or problem that you can point to and you just want to talk about bad vibes and hypotheticals for 2 pages. It's insane that our community can constantly be subjected to people trying to destroy our reputation based on baseless "predatory vibes" and then someone immediately turns around and tries to do the same thing to someone else, especially people who they ADMIT are actually pretty fucking good allies.

the thing about Dropout's transmisogyny problem in particular is that it seems to stem from the people at all decision making levels not having trans women as part of their worldview, literally forgetting we exist until we come into their vision actively.

like, let me put it this way. if i sat down to have lunch with brennan lee mulligan, i don't think he'd misgender me once. i think he'd be nice, and respectful, and listen attentively when i tell him what its like living as a trans woman and the difficulties that come with it. i really do! and then as soon as the conversation was over he wouldn't think about trans women again until the next time he saw one or heard about us. he wouldn't think of us when planning his games, when building his stories, or when casting his shows. so at the end of the day, yeah he'd be nice to me, but when he imagines the world, ANY world he can create, people like me do not feature in it unless we are already there for some other purpose, like to be someone's girlfriend, or to make a dick joke.

same with sam reich. when he goes into a casting phase, he and his team's rolodex (or perhaps i should say contact list to be more modern) is full of diversity! we can see it spanned across all the shows! except its strangely empty of one demographic and one demographic only. and when he does cast trans women, they're always drag queens first and trans women second.

there's something matt colville says when he finishes out some videos and livestreams, and while it may be pithy and chessy i think its relevant in this case: "imagine people complexly".

these people dont even imagine us, or consider us. to them, we don't exist, not because they don't believe in our existence, or they haven't seen it, or even because they actively hate us, but they simply dont consider it in any way until it is already presented to them. we are, quite literally, not a part of their vision of the world. how can we get them to imagine us complexly when they can't even imagine us in the first place?

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again no problem 11/26/2024

i don't have a good anecdote this week, i have the flu. look at my cat

listening

ty @shinygoodrock for the rec! billy bragg's the marching song of the covert. i was startled by the british accent but briefly forgot the uk's been colonizing way longer than god's favorite country, the usa

so SO cheery and so catchy! samples When The Ants Go Marching In!

Here we come with our candy and our guns And our corporate muscle marches in behind us For freedom's just another word for nothing left to sell And if you want narcotics we can get you those as well

it reminds me a lot of this poster i have framed but not hung up yet, jesse purcell's "A.G.F.T.P.O.T.U.S.O.A. (A Gift From The People Of The United States Of America)" (getcher own print at the link through justseeds)

-

reading

my favorite tinned fish newsletter is back! i like this newsletter for its dry anecdotal voice, but i coincidentally have a tin of mackerel in tomato sauce in the pantry for mackintosh name reasons. seems like the best way to have it is fairly plain with some light seasonings. the author was a senior editor at vice and has been out of work for a bit since that site's collapse, so it's good to see him back doing silly free nonsense like his tinned fish newsletter

i had Dreadful by Caitlin Rozakis on hold for nearly six months so it extra hurt when i didn't particularly care for it.

like, what a premise! a beautifully written blurb that got my attention! i think i got an ad for this one on instagram. either that or it was floating around on this site.

A sharp-witted, high fantasy farce featuring killer moat squid, toxic masculinity, evil wizards and a garlic festival - all at once. Perfect for fans of T. Kingfisher, K. J. Parker and Travis Baldree. It’s bad enough waking up in a half-destroyed evil wizard’s workshop with no eyebrows, no memories, and no idea how long you have before the Dread Lord Whomever shows up to murder you horribly and then turn your skull into a goblet or something. It’s a lot worse when you realize that Dread Lord Whomever is… you. Gav isn’t really sure how he ended up with a castle full of goblins, or why he has a princess locked in a cell. All he can do is play along with his own evil plan in hopes of getting his memories back before he gets himself killed. But as he realizes that nothing – from the incredibly tasteless cloak adorned with flames to the aforementioned princess – is quite what it seems, Gav must face up to all the things the Dread Lord Gavrax has done. And he’ll have to answer the hardest question of all – who does he want to be? Dread Lord Gavrax has had better weeks.

this is a debut novel based on a friendgroup's DnD campaign, and it does show a bit. maybe you have a friend who’s freshly into improv? it gets a little wrapped up in Doing Bits. at several points i did think “i could be reading terry pratchett right now instead of enduring this bit.”

the writing itself is solid on a technical level-- there's a good balance of dialogue to description, no word choices really slammed me in the face, it flowed pretty nicely and was a fast read. flounders a bit in the middle but does pick up speed, a middling-okay pacing. if this were not a debut novel and felt a little bit more done on purpose i would be interested in talking about how the frantic lunge from plot point to plot point mirrors our protag's internal sense of self.

i do not think this rises to the level of farce, or even pastiche. it is a darkly comedic but fairly straightforward fantasy. very light PG romance elements.

so much of it is concerned with perceptions/expectations/visual tropes and then the big baddie is simply a baddie with no further interrogation. like a lot A LOT of philosophical musings on the nature of evil and the expectations thereof creating self image and morality and has unionized goblins. everything else in this book is questioned. you can’t go halfway with a deconstruction or you’re just writing more of the genre you’re trying to deconstruct. there was a scene that really clicked satisfyingly in my brain with a female sorceress, where she goes basically everyone expects me to be a bitch and a whore so let's just cut to the chase and have fun being a bitch and a whore. this alternate viewpoint of misogyny making you evil does not successfully contrast with our protag's internal calibration and view of evil but damn if that isn't the experience of being a woman in stem.

the protagonist, gav, wakes up with No memories and thereby becomes Good. or at least Better. does rozakis feel that everyone is born good and your reactions to things happening to you shape your morality? there's a reveal that one of the murders amnesiac!gav is most torn up about didn't actually happen bc his staff faked it and smuggled her out. i think this seriously undercuts the moderate amount of thinking and soulsearching and figuring out how to atone for past actions he does previously. and then it doesn’t really address any of the problems it tangled with in favor of a movie ending. it did tread a bit into therapyspeak for me. fewer shades of gray than i would have liked.

this book is also extremely heterosexual for what i expect a modern comedy fantasy to be. it neatly sidesteps the gay=/= evil conundrum but it was startling to find our protagonist with not even a curious homosexual thought.

occasionally irritating, but it was funny, except when it had to unfold some plot and forgot about being funny. this was a perfectly pleasantly written debut novel but wasn’t quite what i wanted or expected. it tries a lot of things and it’s interesting to watch the rube goldberg machine of a plot work and fail in some parts, even if it really did not carry through on its central philosophy.

-

watching

breezing through a lot of stuff bc it's easier to sleep propped up on my couch arm than in my actual bed. i usually don’t long DNFs but has to remind myself never to try Quo Vadis again. my god is that a tiresome film. and not even pretty costumes or pretty set design for the first forty minutes. whereupon i bailed. all of these were first time watches, dunno why I haven’t been reaching for comfort movies lately

-

playing

genshin update knocking it out of the park and also really reminding me of link tearsofthekingdom. also introduces a really good bird you can possess and fly around with. lots of vertical sky/coastline exploration which is so so so fun. i have done most of the things in this update inside a week bc i don't think they anticipated unemployed people like mainlining it between applying for jobs.

this girl's village has background music that reminds me of classic american westerns like bernstein or copland? heavy billy the kid ballet vibes. the music in this update is SO good im excited to yell about it in an future week when they drop the next album.

-

making

still fallow baybee. currently incubating the influenza. no longer feverish thank u nyquil

[doshi-sukiru]

Hi!

I’m so interested in your Shattered Glass MegOP tfone AU! I wanted to ask since you mentioned that Optimus banished Megatron after their fight out of anger.

Then you also mentioned that Optimus thinks Megatron is a prisoner of war and is trying to get him back.

At what point did he go from “he betrayed me” to “oh my primus he’s clearly been kidnapped”? Especially since I assume Megatron and the High Guard willingly left for the surface the same as in the movie. Like did he immediately change his mind after Megatron left or like was there a brief moment where he had to think about it?

Sorry sksksk I’m just so invested hahaha

LMAO no worries you're good

So when Megatron first came back, Optimus believed it was D-16 in a new frame. He began to hug him and talk to him and act like how he used to, but Megatron could see how Optimus tore apart Sentinel behind him, and could see other mechs destroying Iacon and causing destruction. Megatron tried to pull away from Optimus and get him to realize that what he's doing is worse than good.

I mentioned before as well that D-16 was against killing Sentinel in cold blood, which annoyed Orion before, and seeing Megatron act like this still after coming back only angered Optimus.

Megatron tried to suggest that instead they should first find a way to bring back energon to the people, and let the high guard return to their positions to get more servos to help fight against the Quintessons, and because the high guard were good mechs.

Unfortunately, telling an angry Optimus that while having Starscream behind you, who Optimus tried to kill before, doesn't make the situation any better.

Optimus didn't think that Megatron was speaking his mind, or was trying to help Optimus, and immediately jumped into thinking that Starscream had taken his D-16 and persuaded him to go against Optimus. So, naturally, he lunged at Starscream in anger, but Megatron got in the way, and the two fought- with Optimus trying to throw Megatron to the side and hit Starscream, and Megatron trying to calm him down.

When they finally returned to the pit entrance, most of the high guard were there, and stood behind Megatron to protect him if Optimus tried to fight again. In that moment, Optimus's anger was so pent up he immediately yelled at Megatron and the high guard to be banished once again to the surface. He wasn't thinking about much else other than the fact that if Megatron wouldn't stand by his choices, he didn't deserve to be in Iacon either.

Megatron didn't go willingly at first, and tried to demand Optimus listen to him, but Soundwave stopped him, warning him that any more talk with Optimus would be useless with how angry the prime was, and when Megatron looked at Optimus he realized he was right. So he left with the high guard.

It took Optimus about a few hours before he cooled down and realized what he did, and felt crushed knowing he did something so terrible. But, Optimus has never accepted such faults before, and immediately began to try to divert the blame from him to someone or something else.

That's when he got that special idea- Starscream must have corrupted D-16's mind and had the the high guard force him to leave with them, because why would D-16 leave Optimus? The two were best buddies, almost conjunxes! It couldn't have been a choice he'd make willingly, because D-16 never acted out of line, he always did as told and followed Optimus no matter what!

So that was what spawned the idea that his beloved was a hostage, and not an equal with them.

thank you! again, any other ask you have you can give, I'll answer them as best as I can until friday!

[cosmicjoke]

I think you misunderstand my point entirely. It's not about the practical reality of whether Ash could "conceivably" have escaped his life of crime and lived a secure and anonymous life with Eiji, and it's certainly not me saying I think Ash had to somehow "pay" for what he had done during his days as a gang leader. It's about what Ash thinks of himself, and his particular trauma and the damage wrought upon him and his psyche by the severe abuse he suffered and the life he was forced to live as a consequence. It doesn't matter if Ash could have realistically or potentially escaped his life, because he couldn't escape the self-hatred that the abuse he suffered instilled in him. It doesn't matter whether his being in Eiji's life wouldn't have actually endangered Eiji, becaues Ash believed that his presence in Eiji's life did. He couldn't escape his trauma, and that's really the point and the purpose of Ash's death, in the end, is it doesn't allow the reader/audience to undermine or downplay what Ash lived through by acting like everything would have been hunky-dory if only he'd been able to run off to Japan and live happily ever after with Eiji. It forces the audience to contend with just how devastating Ash's trauma is and the true horror of child abuse by showing the tragic end point of it in Ash's death. Ash quite literally dies as a result of that abuse, because it was that abuse that led him to run away from home, which in turn led him into Dino's hands, who's further abuse led him into a life of crime, which, ultimately, is what led to Lao believing he had to kill Ash in order to protect Sing.

Ash had all the ability in the world, all the potential in the world to be whatever he wanted, sure. But it didn't matter, because his life was destroyed by the abuse he suffered and by the people that abused him.

Banana Fish offers no idealistic ending or silver lining to the life that Ash was forced to live, and that's what makes it such a powerful work of art. It presents a naked and raw depiction of the true consequences of child abuse and forces the audience to contend with that reality. It doesn't allow you to console or comfort yourself with notions that anything, no matter how bad, can be gotten over, if only you try hard enough. That's just not reality. There are so many people in real life who never get over their trauma, who never make a full recovery, or even a partial recovery, and it's one of the most insidious and cruel aspects of this insistent claim that everyone can recover from their trauma, because it's essentially telling the people who can't that the failing is their own, sending them the message that they failed because they didn't try hard enough, or simply weren't strong enough. And that's just simply not true. People who are unable to overcome their trauma are no less than anyone else.

Ash believed plenty of things about himself that weren't true, and that's the point. He believed those things because he'd been conditioned through years of horrific abuse to believe them, and him dying in the end forces you to contend with the true weight of that, by denying Ash what he actually deserved, which was a life of happiness and love. It's so absurd to me when people say "Ash didn't deserve to die" or "Ash deserved better". Like, no shit. But Ash didn't deserve any of what happened to him in his life, and again, that's the point. It didn't matter what Ash actually deserved because he was failed so completely by the people that should have protected him in the first place, and it's their failure that resulted in Ash's life being so unfair and cruel. It's because they allowed Ash to fall through the cracks. The same story of so many abused children in this world. None of it is deserved or fair, but it's reality.

Banana Fish is meant to serve as a warning for why we can't allow the things to happen to children that we see happen to Ash, and it drives home just how unacceptable allowing those things is by having the story end in Ash's death, by giving us the worst possible outcome for what Ash suffered, and so impressing upon us why we have to try our hardest to make sure what happened to Ash never happens to anyone else. Ash's death forces us to face the true consequences of allowing children to be abused. We aren't allowed to pretend through Ash's "happily ever after" that what happened to him really wasn't so bad after all.

Further commentary on the ending of Banana Fish (Spoilers):

Look, I understand the controversy and upset surrounding the ending of Banana Fish.  My last post on this topic seems to have pissed some people off, which was never my intention.  But I think maybe I could have worded things a bit better, so I’m going to try again to explain why I feel like the ending of Banana Fish was so perfect.

It’s not a happy ending, and I don’t think anyone, anywhere, will try to tell you that the ending was meant to make anyone happy, or satisfied.  That’s the point.  It’s not MEANT to please the reader.  It’s meant to remain true to its narrative realism.  And in that realism, it’s meant to break the readers heart.  And boy does it do both.

I don’t think anyone would tell you, anyone with any ounce of feeling in their heart, anyway, that Ash didn’t deserve a happy ending, or that he deserved to die after all the awful shit he went through.  I think we can all agree that we would have wanted, if we had a choice, to see Ash have a happy, hopeful ending with Eiji in Japan.  We all agree that Ash DESERVED a happy ending, because he was a good person who was dealt about the shittiest hand in life a person can have.  And despite all that shit, he retained that innate goodness of heart that made him who he was.  He never became a monster, like the people who used him up and abused him over and over again.  That’s what makes him such an extraordinary character that’s deeply loved by so many people. He absolutely deserved to be happy.

But that’s the thing. Banana Fish is a story that deals in reality.  Everything that happens in the story, despite the often extraordinary, larger than life circumstances, is dealt with in a way that is, very often, brutally, painfully honest and realistic.  It doesn’t give us what should be, it gives us what IS.  And that makes perfect sense in accordance with its relation to writers like Hemingway and Salinger.  They wrote stories that dealt in brutal honesty and reality too, and both writers are referenced throughout Banana Fish.  And it’s Banana Fish’s commitment to that brutal honesty and reality that makes it an authentic piece of art.  People want a fairy tale ending, where Ash gets to ride off into the sunset with Eiji and live happily ever after, but at no point in Banana Fish are we given any indication that the story is, at any point, going to delve into the realm of unreality and fantasy, and give us such an ending.  To do so would have been a betrayal of the genuine nature of the narrative. It would have ultimately robbed it of its authenticity as a piece of art, and the story, as a result, would have been left hollow and lacking.  

Banana Fish, throughout its narrative, shows us that terrible things happen to good people, and that good people are often forced into doing terrible things.  It never shy’s away from that cruel, heartbreaking reality, and the ending is no exception.  

It affects us so deeply, and leaves us so upset, because it’s so REAL.  It feels genuine to us, it feels real, because it refuses to betray its honesty for the sake of a happy fantasy.  It remains loyal to the harsh truth of reality, and the harsh truth of Ash’s reality in particular.  Ash is a deeply damaged, broken person, who’s experiences in life are the very definition of cruelty.  Here is a boy who, since the age of seven, has experienced sexual, mental, emotional and physical abuse repeatedly and on a scale truly unfathomable to almost all of us. A boy who was forced into a life of prostitution in order to simply survive on the harsh streets of an unforgiving city.  A boy who, again out of a necessity for survival, has had to kill other human beings. A boy who, out of a desperate situation in which he was forced to choose either to save his soulmate or watch him be murdered by his best friend gone berserk in a mad, drug induced insanity, had to kill his best friend by shooting him straight through the heart.  A boy who, each time in his life that he’s tried to build real and meaningful relationships with other people, Griffin, the girl he liked when he was 14, Skip, Shorter, Eiji, he’s had to watch those people he allowed himself to grow close to either die or almost die, over and over again.  All of that combined creates a level of trauma that’s so far beyond the normal scope or understanding of a regular human being, so far beyond any discernable mechanism for coping with trauma, that to expect Ash to just get over it, for it all to magically be okay just because he moves to Japan with Eiji, is the height of unrealistic, and, again, would be a betrayal of the authenticity the story marries itself to from start to finish.  

Ash’s death is a tragedy, as his life was a tragedy, and the story is a reflection of that.  It stays true to that narrative, and never compromises on it.  That’s the point.  Life doesn’t always have a happy ending.  People that have suffered severe, irreversible trauma don’t always recover, and can’t always heal from it.  People who have suffered in the obscene and brutal ways that Ash has aren’t always going to be alright.  Sometimes it’s just too much.  For Ash, it was just too much.  Too much damage.  Too much heartache.  Too much pain.  Too much loss.  Sometimes we can’t overcome our damage, and that reality presented in this story scares people, I think, because it’s so nakedly honest and unapologetically expressed.

The ending is so god awful painful too because we see, in that moment after Ash reads Eiji’s letter, hope bloom inside him.  For an instant, this belief that maybe he can have a happy ending, when he thinks he’ll catch Eiji at the airport, and maybe go with him.  And in the next instant, he’s mercilessly reminded of that hope’s falsity. Hope springs eternal, but not always true.  Hope and happiness were never meant for Ash.  The chance for that was taken from him before he could even understand what those concepts were.  The thematic arc of the story was telling us from the start that it was going to end in tragedy.

People weren’t meant to LIKE this ending.  It wasn’t meant to make them feel good, or okay with what happened, or fulfilled.  In fact, I’d say, it’s meant to make you feel completely devastated.  As the story reflects reality, so often too does real life end in a way that leaves us feeling lost and confused and heartbroken.  Banana Fish is so good because it stays true to that sense of reality, right until the very end.

The ending doesn’t leave us feeling happy, but it sure does leave us FEELING.  Like any real piece of art would.  The emotions it conjures are immense and, for some I guess, too real. That sense of loss and hopelessness and pain it leaves us with is so effective because, again, it’s so honest. And I guess that because those emotions are so real, and felt so deeply, and with such intensity, it leaves some readers and viewers feeling angry.  Lashing out at a reality which they don’t want to accept.  The irony, of course, is that their hatred and rejection of the ending is testament to just how deeply the ending touched them.  It didn’t leave them feeling nothing, it left them feeling too much, and they then go into a state of denial, which is really just a stage of grief.  A refusal to accept.  You know Banana Fish is a true piece of art for that, in how it conjures sincere feelings of grief and mourning in us for its lead character in Ash.  We CARE about him, deeply.  We want him to be alright, because we love him.

But real art isn’t concerned with placation.  It’s concerned with truth.  So many great pieces of literature have unhappy endings, because that’s the truth of the human condition, and the condition of life in general.  Real art won’t shy away from those painful, awful truths, nor is it afraid to conjure the feelings which go hand in hand with those truths in its audience.  

With all that said, the tragedy of the ending doesn’t demand a feeling of meaninglessness or desolation at all.

Eiji’s love for Ash and Ash’s love for Eiji is still so pivotal and, ultimately, essential in how the story ends.  It’s what allows, maybe not a feeling of hope, but a feeling of peace.

You sense throughout the story that Ash knows he’s going to die.  Like he senses that his life is too fucked up, that he’s been through and had to do too many horrible things for it to last very long.  It’s like the saying of he who burns brightest burns twice as fast.  Ash is burning, and he knows it.  He’s already accepted it as an inevitable conclusion.  He doesn’t actively seek death, but he doesn’t fear, nor fight against it.  At points throughout the story, even, he asks for it, when the horror of what’s happening to him becomes too much.  He knows death is coming for him.  The only thing keeping him from giving in so easily I think is his lack of agency in how he will.  Everything has been taken from Ash, and he doesn’t want to give this last thing away. This choice in how he dies.

Eiji’s love is what finally gives him agency in that decision.

Ash died knowing Eiji loved him, and that knowledge, that certainty that he was loved, genuinely loved by another human being, without any strings or conditions attached, simply loved for himself alone, is what allowed Ash to finally find the peace in death which alluded him in life.  He no longer feels like he has to keep fighting, or struggling on through an endless malaise of misery and pain, because he’s finally found the calm and acceptance which comes with knowing he has this one, pure thing for himself, which nobody, none of his abusers, can ever touch or take away.  With everything else that’s been stolen from Ash, his innocence, his sense of agency, his own body, his own mind, Eiji’s love for him is the one thing nobody could ever steal away.  And that’s, I think, why Ash dies smiling, because it’s that knowledge, that he was worthy of another human being’s true love, that at last shows him that he was a human being himself.  Not an animal.  Not a monster.  He was a human being worthy of love.

Ash’s death is heartbreaking, and brutal, but there’s deep consolation to be had in knowing he spent his final moments with the feeling of Eiji’s love for him alive inside his heart, allowing him at last to feel like a person deserving, worthy of love.

It’s that which allows Ash to finally let go of his struggle, and let’s death’s embrace take hold of him.  It’s his own. Eiji’s love, and his choice to let go of life.

It doesn’t make the ending any less heart wrenching or brutal.  It doesn’t make us any less devastated by Ash’s death.  But it gives us a sense of peace, in knowing, even if we are left feeling lost and heartbroken, Ash himself left life with the fulfillment of knowing he was loved.

[bad268]

ok so Arthur leclerc sad fic. HERE ME OUT. It’s him comparing himself to Ollie and how he got to have everything he ever dreamed of, how he just wanted to be like his brother and make him proud. Like set at the end of 2023 when Ferrari dropped him and he left prema ( crying rn just at the mention of it) and maybe it can fast forward the Ollies first f1 race and Arthur is just on the bed of the hotel watching with teary eyes and the reader comforts him. WOAH THAT WAS ALOT I AM SO SORRY. I feel like I didn’t mention enough almost?!? Idk I feel like u could really add ur touch to it.

HOLD UP I THOUGHT I WAS DONE. What happens if it gets a little angsty like he is watching it with teary eyes and reader is like “Arthur, Arthur?” And he randomly snaps and starts destroying the hotel room and starts saying stuff like “THAT SHOULD BE, I DESERVED IT” then randomly stops and breaks down on the floor saying “I will never ever be enough for anything, I am not good enough, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself”

WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST WRITE I FEEL LIKE I JUST WROTE A WHOLD FIC WOAH IM SO SORRY. If it’s too angsty just make sure to point it out bc if u won’t do it I think I can finally it my non existent writing skills to work ( kidding)

I LOVE UR WORK BTWWWW

That Should Be Me (Arthur Leclerc X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/WEC

Requested: Clearly (WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THIS-)

Warnings: Mentions of destroying room (Arthur has a mental breakdown tbh)

POV: Second Person (You/your)

W.C. 1091

Summary: Arthur feels jealous of Ollie, of Charles. He doesn't feel worthy to be in Ferrari, but the reader shows him his worth.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

It had been a hectic year for you and Arthur. What started as a good opportunity to test Ferrari later turned sour when Ferrari dropped Arthur from their driver academy. It was hard to get around at first, but you convinced Arthur to take it in strides and take it for what it is. An opportunity to do something better. Sure, he was still a developmental driver for Ferrari, but that left more time to show them what he could do in endurance racing! He’d show them what they lost there!

Just as he was accepting the loss, they threw a fork in the road. He decided that since he didn’t need to be with his endurance team until later in March, he would go to support his brother in Jeddah. You joined him since the timing worked out in your schedule, too.  Just as you two were getting off the plane, the news hit.

Breaking: Oliver Bearman to replace Carlos Sainz this weekend in Jeddah.

You saw it immediately, but Arthur, who had turned off notifications from Instagram, didn’t see it until you both got to the hotel after traveling the entire day. Arthur had pulled out his phone to find the reservation, and that was the first thing he saw.

He turned to you, showing the notification with a small smile, before saying, “Look at that! Ollie’s racing this weekend.”

At the time, you wished you had picked up on the forceness of his smile, or the fact that his jaw was clenched, or even the slightly hurt tone behind his words. Unfortunately, you didn’t, though.

You both started unpacking in silence, but you didn’t think anything of it. It was normal. Then, you realized you had left your hair care products at home, so you mentioned to Arthur that you would be back in about ten minutes. 

It was only ten minutes, but when you came back, everything was destroyed.

Your clothes were thrown around the room, bags upside down and emptied, and Arthur was nowhere to be seen. That caused your stomach to drop.

“Arthur?” You asked cautiously as you stepped into the hotel room, taking care not to step on everything around you. You walk into the bedroom and see him destroying the bed and throwing everything haphazardly around. You were scared to approach him, so you settled for calling out to him. “Arthur?”

“That should have been me!” He cried out in anger as his moves became more erratic and dangerous. “I gave my everything to Ferrari, and they overlooked me. Every. Single. Time. I’m tired of it! I deserved that! Why does Ollie get everything handed to him?”

“You have worked hard, love,” You comforted as you approached him slowly, resting a hand on his forearm to stop him. “You have done everything right, and you’re right. It’s not fair, but it's what happened, and we can’t change it now. All we can do is be supportive of Ollie and show our support. Ferrari will see you, I promise.”

“I will never be enough for anything,” He whispered as he started coming down. His shoulders dropped as the pillow he held fell back onto the bed, and he sank down to the floor. You followed him, quickly wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he cried into your shoulders. “I’m always overlooked in this sport. I’ll always be in Charles’s shadow. I’m never going to be good enough in comparison.”

“You have never been in Charles’s shadow to me,” You whispered back as you put your hands against his cheeks to pull his face off your shoulder. You wiped away his tears like he had done with you on so many occasions and left trails of kisses over the tracks that lined his cheeks. You gave him a minute before leaning your forehead against his. “You have been and always will be enough. You deserve so much. I know it seems like everything is crashing down against you, but your time to shine will come. It’ll just take some time and patience.”

“How do you know that? How do you know they aren’t just going to throw me out after they don’t want me anymore?” He asked. He sounded defeated, and it broke your heart to pieces hearing him doubt himself so much. “What if they’re only keeping me around because of my name? I’ll never live up to Charles.”

“Please stop comparing yourself to your brother,” You pleaded with a groan and a pointed look at Arthur.

“Why? He is better than me in almost every way,” Arthur tried to go on a tangent, but you gently squished his cheeks to stop him.

“I’m dating Arthur Leclerc. I have only dated Arthur Leclerc. I only want to date Arthur Leclerc. I love Arthur Leclerc. I have only loved Arthur Leclerc. And I only want to love Arthur Leclerc. Is that clear enough for you?” You planted kisses around his face with every statement you made before landing with the final one on his lips with a slight chuckle. “You are the love of my life, and I have always believed in you. You will always be enough for me because you are all I could ever want.”

“So you won’t leave if I don’t make it to F1?” He questioned as he leaned more of his weight into your hands. 

“Don’t speak that into existence, love,” You sighed. “But wherever you end up, I will always be beside you for it. I don’t define your success like that. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy to be with you.”

“I’m happy to be with you, too,” He whispered back as he finally smiled and pulled you in for a kiss. He moved his hands to the side of your neck and your cheek before he pulled back slightly and whispered against your lips, “What do we do now?”

“We support the team like we came to do, we cheer our friend Ollie on for this opportunity he got, and we show that you are just as committed to the team as you always have,” You said with a shrug. “There isn’t much we can really do besides that. If there is more, I just don’t know it. We’ll just go with the flow.”

“Can we get dinner and dessert?” Arthur asked with a smirk. “I could use a cheat.”

“I think you deserve a little cheat after today,” You chuckled, leaving a light kiss on the tip of his nose. “Anything you want.”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[hexite-nightmares]

My very unorganized thoughts on S2 of Arcane but only about Viktor

Alright I finally had time to think and write everything down so here we go. I want to preface that I have been weary about this season ever since I watched the act 1 leaks. Mainly because it was very clear he was never going to be a machine, and they didn't give him enough screen time to develop his motivations into ACT 3 Viktor being convincing enough

LET'S START WITH THE FALSE PROPHET VIKTOR

Alright so he has about 11 minutes ish of screentime. Aside from the glaring issue of Jayce reviving him and not destroying the hexcore, taking away agency from a disabled character. It was clearly a false prophet situation, but it was so fucking confusing on whether he could feel like a regular human, if he was under the Hexcore's control which makes the agency issue worse or just jaded. He all of a sudden starts speaking like he's reading Deuteronomy passages ?? We don't know for sure if he's aware that he's basically creating a hive mind now, did he start his plans of making everyone into one right here? Sky seems to encourage him to do this, what does she know about it since shes been in the hexcore ALONE for a little longer? (writers didnt confirm whether it was the real her or not) . Act 1 Viktor's issues are mostly about agency, and a seeming full abandonment of his identity as a scientist, his personality does a full 180. He doesn’t seem to question that the object that revived him and killed Sky is giving him healing powers, but he’s angry at Jayce so we have no clue if he’s being controlled or not.

The show doesn't seem to care to spend time with him bc Isha and Ambessa I guess.

Anyways lets move on to not even act 2, but ep 6, his only episode in this act.

I had huge gripes with this episode, mainly because whatever the fuck was going on with Viktor trying to "keep" Vander's humanity, when he clearly was taking it away from everyone he touched, does he actually believe what he's saying or is he under the Hexcore's control still?. Obviously the glaring issues of Sky being there without any actual input, they're cosmic friends I guess but with very generic lines, and the fandom has to fill in the blanks with whatever Amanda Overton feels like saying about Sky in the moment(if we don't see it in the show I don't take it as her development, sorry). So Viktor builds Colloidal silver drinking Joshua tree and ppl think it's fucking Eden, Jinx calls him a Machine Herald when there's NO SIGN OF MACHINERY JUST PURPLE MAGICAL METAL LOOKING FLESH. We get a whole ass different realm with no explanation other than, oh yeah Viktor is inside there. Jayce comes in and almost kills him. The only option there is at this point is for Singed to start his MH era. The choice of becoming MH is nonexistent now, other people have to jumpstart things for him. I know some people interprete this commune as Viktor achieving his dreams, thinking he was being himself, that he was in paradise with Sky and.. that wasn’t the case for me.. it was extremely sinister. Worst part of this Act, is that MH was seemingly a damn trial experiment for Orianna.

BONUS:

So it seems that Christian Linke has confirmed Sky was the hexcore using its influence to manipulate viktor into the glorious evolution. He said it was meant to be as a misdirect. So to everyone who got dunked on here for “wanting to be spoonfed” or “not reading into it deep enough” for thinking he was being mind controlled, you were right about it being the hexcore. Viktor has been confirmed to have no agency until episode 9 I guess. He also mentioned Viktor’s goal was getting the most power/influence… we never saw a fucking glimpse of this in season one I’m sorry.

ACT 3

First awful problem here is obviously Singed having to jumpstart things. Viktor is aware for his choice of whatever is happening with the egg thing. Yet....there's still no sign of machinery. We get a scene where Sky fucking dies again, he refers to her as Ms Young, which im guessing is a parallel to the other time he dismissed her in S1. But of course we get the double fridging in the show, cuz making female characters just for the sake of advancing her crush's plot line is sooo amazing. Here lies sky, the character who is barely a character. Well after that we get the sequence of his transformation and we get that butt ugly mask. His personality does another huge change again. So we know the hexcore is not influencing him anymore as the hexcore completed its goal of the glorious evolution.. so I guess viktor really does think this is the right way?

A huge issue I have again, is the lack of agency. In this particular scene Jayce goes "My partner died in this room" yeah..Viktor didn't fully choose to become this right? it all started with Jayce using the hexcore on him, it’s been manipulating him the whole ass season…Kinda wish there was some sort of acknowledgement from Jayce that he’s basically the catalyst of this.

He gets his laser because...fanservice. There's no way he went all the way to the lab and magically attached it to himself just to cut off a wall. He keeps going on that choice is false, but a few minutes before he said he’d evolve all of those willing?

In the cosmos, beautiful sequence. I don’t love Jayce’s dialogue choices(about his disease) here and then it all being about viktor hating himself.. since the hexcore was leading to all of this, his motivation for it all being self hatred feels a bit eh. The sequence is beautiful and Jayce and Viktor destroying the anomaly with the rune shard is nice, that part was cute. But then they kinda disappear and we only know that viktor is alive so far, no clue about Jayce. The sequence is touching towards the end and I’m a sucker for characters finding each other in every timeline/universe but it can’t make up for all the other things that are bothering me. This seems to be the one time Viktor has some sort of agency I guess.

Then obviously the worst part that will bother me forever. The thing that made me almost slam my laptop shut

This retcon is just awful I shouldn’t even have to say why, it makes things fucking weird and it’s frankly stupid. Also viktor can’t rock a beard like that.

Anyways this is very disorganized, fuck you riot I felt like an insane former this whole time but I was right.

[shycroissanti]

IRINA GONSHIRA🌌💙

✨️A "little" about her✨️

Answering @yaegxr 's ask💖

AAAA I'M SO HAPPY YOU LIKE HER!!🥹💖

Well, I don't have the complete story yet (because I'm not associating my OCs with Demon Slayer anymore exactly because now I'm focusing on a totally original story - but I can still write a little about this version of it), and also my blog is still a bit messy, but nothing stops me from writing now!!

Starting with the basic information!!

Name: Irina Gonshira

Age: 19 years old

Height: 1.70m

Birthday: August 23

Family:

Yuliya Gonshira - mother

Masato Gonshira - father

Liliya Gonshira - younger sister

Dmitry Gonshira - cousin

History:

Irina has always been a cheerful and determined girl. She comes from a rich and powerful family (Yuliya is one of the best demon hunters, and Masato is a very famous architect/engineer there)

Inspired mainly by her mother, since she was little, Irina had the dream of being like Yuliya, strong and able to protect everyone around her, so she starts training from a very young age, which irritated her father, who did not support her (and this generates conflicts throughout the story).

At a certain point, Irina meets Kishin, an orphan boy who was bullied by almost everyone in the orphanage where he lived, but the worst of all was Kenta, another orphan boy. Irina saves Kishin and soon the two become very attached to each other, creating a very strong friendship. And at the same time, creating a huge rivalry with Kenta.

Later, around the age of 15 to 17, Irina's life would become total chaos.

First, Yuliya had to leave for an extremely important mission, leaving her entire family behind. Since then, Irina has never heard from her mother again.

Soon, she suffered the comet incident (comic) , where a comet hit her in the middle of the forest while she was walking at night. She almost died, but the comet's energy kept her alive and changed everything in her body and mind. Irina feels more energetic and much more outgoing, even becoming much more impulsive and noisy. This energy is great for keeping her strong and ready for anything, but it is also very dangerous, because if she cannot control her feelings properly, Irina feels a strong burning sensation throughout her body, which hurts her a lot (in other words, she has "super powers" that help her and at the same time destroy her).

Another thing that happened is that her beloved friend, Kishin, turned into a demon (he had no other option, he became a demon against his will - comic ). Kishin knew that Irina's dream had always been to be a demon hunter, and now that he was one, he believed that she would hate him and that they could never be together again, so he tried to avoid her all day, because he didn't know what to do, he didn't want to end his beloved Irina's dreams.

While this was happening, at Irina's house, Masato was already tired of everything, having lost his wife (who in truth Masato didn't even care much about Yuliya at that point) and because Irina was a great disappointment to him. So Masato came up with a plan to get rid of Irina. He told her that she should leave and go on a supposed mission far away from there so that she could be part of the Sunlights (in this case, the Sunlights are like the Hashiras, but in the Sunlight Force universe). Irina believed her father without hesitation, so she left home soon after, and finally went looking for Kishin, because she couldn't leave him like that without telling him. Irina was already sad about everything that was happening, so she finally found Kishin, and her world fell apart completely.

Kishin was desperate. He tried to do everything, promise her that he would never do anything like the demons do, and he, heartbroken, said that he could leave and live in isolation if she wanted. At that point, Irina breaks down, her sense of reality was completely altered. She always heard Yuliya's stories about how all demons are evil and must be defeated, but seeing her beloved Kishin like that, she could never do something like that (and even more so because she noticed that Kishin was still the same guy she always loved), so Irina hugs him and promises that they will stay together, that it doesn't matter if he was a demon and she wanted to be a Sunlight, she dreamed of protecting those she loves, and she loves him, so the two stayed together and nothing would separate them.

So since Irina needed to go on the "mission" that Masato had told her and Kishin could no longer live there, the two left the city, and thus the various adventures that I have been writing about have happened.

Now some fun facts!

Irina's favorite food is tamago sando.

Irina is afraid of onions.

She loves collecting rocks.

She likes to cook, but she often burns all the pies she makes.

Sorry, I guess I got excited to write about her xD But still, you can always find more stuff about her with the tag #Irina Gonshira or check out my other blog @shycroissanti-comics , there are all the arts and comics I've ever made :D

Sorry if I wrote a lot of things wrong (〃ﾉωﾉ)

And please consider helping me by reblogging thisﾟ+.(*´pωq`)ﾟ+.💖💖