#it's like none of you even listened to obsessed by olivia rodrigo

[raylangivins]

people in the tags of that post saying jlo is giving matt her blessing you do NOT know her like i do. she would not fucking say that.

[liamrrys]

now hear me out on this

[sandersontheside]

Assigning a Pop Diva To Each Side

Based on the common trend of queer men all having a "diva" that they stan. I know not all mlm relate to that, but I do! See if you can guess which one is mine ;)

JANUS: It's Britney, bitch! I'm pretty sure Britney Spears actually wrote Toxic about him. But sure Janus has been toxic in the past, dangerous to listen to even, but how was he supposed to know that something wasn't right? Would you hold it against him? And let us not forget the iconic 2001 VMAs performance of I'm A Slave 4 U featuring a huge, yellow snake.

REMUS: Put your paws up, little monsters. It's gotta be Lady Gaga for the Duke. He wants your ugly, he wants your disease, and he may be a freak, but baby, he was born this way. Plus, her whole brand used to be weird and off-putting. You know he was obsessed with that dress made of raw meat, and the alien egg music video, and the borderline body horror Born This Way cover.

ROMAN: He's a theatre gay, so probably, his chosen diva would actually be, like, Patti LuPone or something. But I am restricting this to pop diva. And none suits a prince like a queen! His pop diva just has to be Beyonce. Who runs the world? This bootylicious prince does! And you bet your ass he knows the Single Ladies dance off by heart, and will do it at the drop of a hat.

LOGAN: Megan Thee Stallion. It had to be a rapper, and given that Megan is such a champion of education, setting up scholarships and finishing her degree even after her career success, it seemed like a perfect match. Plus, we all know Logan can be [checks notecard] savage, at times. I just hope he can relax enough to enjoy a well deserved hot girl summer.

PATTON: Patton's entire Spotify is pop girlies, from Mariah Carey to Olivia Rodrigo, from the summer bops to the sad laments. Picking a favorite for him was difficult. But ultimately, it had to be Miss Swift herself, because if there is one thing that Taylor is good at, it is tapping into nostalgia. And whether it's a past relationship or an old favorite song, Patton remembers it all too well.

VIRGIL: The closest Virgil gets to pop is pop punk, pop rock, and alt pop. Which means the closest thing to a pop diva Virgil has is probably Hayley Williams of Paramore. Sure, Virgil can be angsty and even mean sometimes—misery is literally his business, after all—but he has a softer side as well, and deep down he hopes that one day all of it will be worth the risk.

[bradshawed]

nine-ish people you want to get to know better! thank you to @thyme-in-a-bubble and @kellyscowboy for tagging me, i had loads of fun <3

last song, vampire by olivia rodrigo. just came out so i’ve been listening to it on spotify and it’s actually a pretty good song

currently watching, nothing really. i just finished rewatching paul with my parents so whatever we put on next tbh but i do have a long summer list of movies i want and need to see

currently reading, just finished reading da vinci code by dan brown so i’m about to start inferno next. i’ve been wanting to read the series since i loved the movies but it was never an intentional start. i found angels and demons in a gas station on a charity table and bought it for two pounds so here we are. it’s really good though and i definitely recommend it if you’re okay with the topics discussed, beautifully written

latest obsession, none really. ofc i’ll never not be obsessed with top gun but there’s nothing new specifically that i’m obsessed with. i think that sort of comes with taking a mini break but i don’t really think i have a latest obsession unless you sort of count the podcast i’m making but even that i wouldn’t exactly call an obsession

no pressure tags; @waklman, @katsendgame, @wolvisms, @amoraffairs, @bcyhoods, @bruisedboys, @corp0real, @callsign-viper, @zoramones & anyone else that would like to join in (you don’t have to tag nine other people to join) <3

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

⭐star⭐

For your whumptober fills in general- how did you go about planning what to write for the month? Did you have certain goals for word count?

Then more specifically- anything you can share about ‘i say I don’t care, I say that im fine’?

Thank you friend!

So whenever the prompts dropped the end of August, I filed them all into a google doc and just wrote notes of ideas for each. Some ideas I already had, like Jamie hiding in injury when Zava was there so he didn't lose more ground and then saw the "suppressed suffering" and thought, perfect! I just went through each day, jotting down quick ideas that came from the prompts.

Some came easier than others, like swooning, okay concussion, and thermometer would be a sick fic. I made a google sheet with each day once I decided on the general idea. I tried to vary the actual injuries/whump. Some prompts I thought I would use and didn't, like broken, I thought, oh easy, broken bone, but I don't think I even used it even though it probably would have worked for a lot. Someone asked for some Roy whump, so I tried to include him in it.

My original idea was to do a single story for 31 days. I had no goal for word count. My problem is I am unable to tell a short story a lot. I can't keep my thoughts clear and concise when an event like an injury happens. I tend to want to go on longer with recovery, etc. So I ran out of steam trying to write 31 entries. I wrote wherever the plot bunnies took me originally, and as I got closer, I realized I needed to buckle down because I wanted to post these in order. So, I had to adjust some into multi-chapter stories and move around certain things.

Thank you for asking about, i say i don't care, i say that I'm fine, because it is one of my favorites.

it wasn't one I really had the thought of until the day of, actually. The prompts for the day were "recording", "made to watch", and "it should've been me". None of those I really vibed with, so I was planning to use one of the alternate ones in it's place. But then I was inspired by The Good Place storyline with Eleanor's Mom, how she struggles with thinking if her Mom could change this whole time, why was she not the one she changed for? And suddenly, it should've been me, made sense.

I struggled with a reason why James suddenly was sober over a year after last seeing his son. So this seemed as good a reason as any, and wanted to explore more with Jamie of his relationship with his father because I am of the strong belief that sober does not equal a good person. So I wanted to have Jamie not only find out someone else is the reason he's sober, but James still not truly changed. And then, of course, Jamie feels guilty about being jealous of someone he's never meant but also genuinely fearful for the child.

I am also obsessed with the notion of Jamie taking people's advice, but it's like a game of telephone where it's just slightly distorted. As fucked as Ted's advice to Jamie was in Mom City, I do think he meant Jamie should forgive his father for his own benefit (Ted having never forgiven his own father, etc.). Jamie wants to be accountable like Keeley told him to, but he never expects anyone to be accountable to him. And he takes accountability for things that really aren't his fault (being hacked). And I also think Higgins' advice is swirling around in that pretty head of his as well to forgive his father for who he isn't. So he's gotten all this advice meant to make him a better man, and he's trying, he's really trying, and all the advice is in a blender together and Jamie's drinking it down, combined in ways it wasn't intended. And also, Jamie forgets how he deserves to be treated, or thinks he doesn't deserve to be treated well.

I was also listening to a lot of Olivia Rodrigo's album, specifically The Grudge, where I got the title from, and it's just perfect for Jamie and his Dad. Some lyrics:

"It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong."

"I fantasize about a time you were a little fucking sorry."

"I know in my heart, hurt people hurt people, and we both drew blood but man those cuts were never equal."

"How could anybody do the things you did so easily?"

"You know I can't let it go; I've tried, I've tried, I've tried."

"You built me up to watch me fall"

"I try to be tough, I try to be mean, But even after all this, you're still everything to me"

"And I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did."

"I hear your voice every time I think I'm not enough."

[not-so-mundane-after-all]

1, 2, 9, & 10 for end of the year asks 🫶🏼

1. Song of the year?

As for those I listened to the most this year, it's a tie between The Great War by Taylor Swift and ENERGY by Beyonce. As for the songs that came out this year, I’m way too obsessed with Can't Catch Me Now by Olivia Rodrigo 

2. Album of the year?

Again, it's a tie between my two Queens, Taylor and Bey. Midnights and Renaissance were on loop all year. 

9. Best month for you this year?

June. Lots of traveling - on my own, which is always very exciting for me, lots of happy memories made during my favorite comic con, and of course my first concert ever which was BEYONCE and the bar literally couldn't be higher

10. Something that made you cry this year?

There were quite a few negative things that made me cry this year, more than I would have liked, and one of those was the moment I found out that Titans isn't getting another season. It's still hard for me to use the word “canceled” because it hurts so much. I found out at 3am, just as it hit the news, just because I randomly woke up in the middle of the night and decided to check my phone. It's like I knew. Deep in my gut. It was workday so I had to get up in 2h and I spent those 2h sobbing and couldn't keep it together even at work. It sucked extra hard because I didn't even have enough time and space for the news to settle in before I had to go out into the public and act like nothing happened, when inside I felt like my best friend just died. I’ve been through many cancelations/endings of my beloved shows but none has ever hit me this hard.

As for positive things, I have to go back to the concert again. Because it was a huuuuuge deal for me, I’ve been dreaming of going to a big show like this since I was a kid. It was a bucket list moment. It could have been anyone up on that stage and it would have been special, but the fact I was at my first ever concert, it was my first visit in Warsaw AND I was in the presence of THE BEYONCE???! All at the same time?!?!? It's still something I have a hard time believing happened. it's such a pinch me moment. I keep rewatching the videos I took and I can't believe I am actually the one who took them. The second the stage came alive and the music started and I heard her voice, I started sobbing.

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of August 2023

(via stats.fm/spotistats)

[last month]

1. Deacon Blues -- Steely Dan (i may be depressed... bottom text. but also this song is GORGEOUS!! i've been singing the chorus to myself over and over again all month)

2. Gay Frogs (Alex Jones Remix) -- Placeboing, Alex Jones (this was in the #1 spot for most of the month, but luckily it got replaced before the 31st. i would like to issue a formal apology for my taste in music...)

3. Moonlight Mile -- The Rolling Stones (soundtrack for moving back to university, which i did earlier this month)

4. Quiet Night -- Oohyo (i love the feeling of falling asleep, and "quiet night" reminds me of that feeling!)

5. People -- Libianca (this is such a good-texture song! i can honestly see it being on my most-listened lists for the rest of the year??)

6. Maybe You Saved Me -- Bad Suns, PVRIS (PLEASE don't let this be the first bad suns song you listen to it's literally not that good, especially compared to their other stuff. i can't explain why i like it so much, it is literally the boringest of boring pop songs i think i've just been pavlov'ed into becoming obsessed with everything christo bowman sings)

7. Glasses -- IU (i have no idea how this got here, but yay IU!!! "zezé" from that album is WAY better tho)

8. bad idea right? -- Olivia Rodrigo (OH MY GOD THIS SONG IS SO FUN. INSTANT! FUCKING! CLASSIC! i wish the barbie movie soundtrack made me feel as obnoxiously teenage-girl-y as this song does)

9. Time Difference -- Infinite (i very love this production!!! i feel like i can get lost in it, it's beautiful)

10. Get It Together -- Genshin (found this on someone's rnb study playlist a few weeks ago, and i've been leaving it on repeat all the time since then)

11. Los Cuerpos -- Alba Reche, Fuel Fandango (this song would have been on this list even if it was just a 3-minute version of that acappella intro, it's SO good)

12. Delicate -- Taylor Swift (you've seen all the aesthetic, good-texture music on this list. is this really a surprise?)

13. Lay Low -- YooA (speaking of good-texture music--crunchy song!!)

14. None of My Business -- Itzy (i would NOT have expected this to be my favorite song from their latest album, but i'm down BAD)

15. Hard Times -- Paramore (will i get bullied off tumblr if i say this is my favorite paramore?)

Other Notable Most-Listened Songs:

#16: Lemon Black Tea -- Jo Yuri (probably my favorite release from this month, definitely my favorite kpop release from this month!)

#25: Canciones de Amor a Ti -- Rigoberta Bandini (tell me you watched red white & royal blue without telling me you watched red white and royal blue... btw i thought the movie was terrible, especially compared to how awesome the book was, but at least this song is great!!)

#26: Air Force One -- Odd Eye Circle (OH I GET THIS ONE NOW.)

#39: Madeline -- Limelight (another favorite release from this month! look, I'M not over tropical house even if you are)

[fluentinfashionfmd]

Welcome fellow fashion lovers!

Keep up with the looks of all your favorite stars…

In Fluent in Fashion, we dive into all of the latest and hottest looks of today’s celebrities, athletes, and influencers, as if you are on the red carpet with them. Each week you will see a new look, along with a breakdown of  each piece and the designer behind it all! At the end of each post, we decide whether the look is Fab or Flop! We hope you enjoy it and find some inspiration. 

XOXO,

Lauren, Avery, and Isabella ♡

What’s up fashion lovers!

It’s so good to have you back! As Halloween approaches, don’t you just want to get in your car and drive around to look at all the spookily decorated houses? But you can’t forget to bring your driver's license! LOL! This week we are going to focus on the trend-setting and incredibly talented Olivia Rodrigo! Her new album just makes me want to spill my GUTS talking about how amazing it is. Not to mention the insanely fashionable outfits she is strutting during the promotions for this album. Let's look at a couple in this week’s post!

Olivia Rodrigo's Best Outfits: Her Most Iconic Looks Yet

11 Olivia Rodrigo Outfits We're Replicating ASAP | Who What Wear 

Could you imagine being this successful in the music industry at such a young age? Olivia Rodrigo continues to show off her insane talent year after year! And look at this super vintage chic dress she was caught wearing at her Spotify x American Express Pop-Up event. The dress is a 90s Betsy Johnson slip dress that I think just perfectly matches the vibe for this album. I just absolutely adore the embroidered flowers! 

Olivia Rodrigo Kicks Off Her Guts Era With a Stylish Bang

And what better way to get inspired for Halloween than listening to Olivia’s hit ‘Vampire’!! I am completely obsessed with this dress that she was wearing in the iconic ‘Vampire’ music video. This is a vintage strapless dress designed by John Galliano from none other than Christian Dior. Look at the way it flows beautifully as she sings! 

Where to Get Olivia Rodrigo's 'Guts' Era Outfits

Who Are Olivia Rodrigo’s ‘Vampire’ Lyrics About? Heartbreak Song You Can Dance To

Even on the go Miss Olivia knows how to dress! Look at this stunning red dress she was caught wearing out-and-about. So on brand for this blood-thirsty era she has been promoting! Every outfit she has been wearing for this era has been chosen so perfectly and I can’t wait to see where she goes in the future! 

Olivia Talks Post-Sour Dating, Guts Influences

Olivia Rodrigo HQ Via Twitter 

Olivia Rodrigo: So gut und empowernd ist ihr zweites Album “Guts”

That’s all we have for this week, fashion lovers! We hope you aren’t feeling SOUR anymore about Halloween approaching and are excited to dress up! Because dressing like Olivia Rodrigo is always a good idea, right? Stay tuned for next week’s post as it will leave you dancing in the moonlight! 

Stream Kali Uchis - Moonlight (M4RCO REMIX) by M4RCO | Listen online for free on SoundCloud

Olivia Rodrigo Channels Betty Boop at Kendall Jenner's Halloween Party

XOXO,

Avery

[creampuffqueen]

Ranking 'GUTS' by Olivia Rodrigo

holy shit guys i've been listening to this on REPEAT for DAYS now i'm in love with this album

so i thought i'd do a quick ranking <3

bad idea, right? - OUGHHHH i love this. obsessed with the beginning where you can hear the knocking and she does this breathy little 'hey' that makes me crazy. also it's just a fucking bop. yes queen hell yeah sleep with your ex (this does NOT apply to any of my irl friends none of y'all should get back with your exes)

making the bed - i relate to this a concerning amount, actually. feeling so tired of your own life but you can't complain really because you did this yourself, this is what you wanted!!! AGHGHGHGHGHG

all american bitch - HER VOICE AT THE BEGINNING. her voice is actually beautiful. it's so soft and airy and i'm obsessed with it. and then she's just screaming and that's too relatable tbh

ballad of a homeschooled girl - i'm not homeschooled and i think my social skills are adequate but i still fucking adore this song. it goes so hard

get him back! - loving the double meaning of the title. get back with him but also get him back for all the shit he put you through. she's so real for this

love is embarrassing - she's so right!!! it really is!!! also a huge bop

pretty isn't pretty - ITS IN MY PHONE ITS IN MY HEAD ITS IN THE BOYS I BRING TO BED!!!! she's so right it's all so fucked up!!! you'll never ever be good enough and it SUCKS you can't do ANYTHING ABOUT IT

vampire - once again, HER VOICE. it's so good in this. song got a lil tiktokified but it's okay bc the whole thing is a really good song

lacy - good but i will say the comparison of 'skin like puff pastry' does not do well for my head lmao. i don't think you want skin like puff pastry. but how her voice is so soft for this whole thing just sends me into the astral plane. i'm reading this as a song about beauty standards and anyone who is saying this is about her specifically liking girls needs to stop. let's quit speculating on celebrities' sexualities please. but otherwise a good song

logical - good. really good. i like it a lot, it's just not on the same level as the others i like

teenage dream - WHAT IF I DONT GET BETTER???? too real

the grudge - eh. not my fav. also don't like how everyone thinks this is about taylor swift. can we pleaseeeee stop digging into celebrities' personal lives and pitting them against each other?? just stop

overall suchhh a fucking good album. even the songs low on the list i still scream along to. no skips!!!!

[petersasteria]

jealousy, jealousy || tom holland

sour masterlist || tom || sour taglist

906 words w: it's fucked up and it's inspired by some personal shit that i'm going thru, i mention some psycho shit italics are lyrics + important note at the end.

* * * *

Retweets.

Likes.

Reacts.

Shares.

Views.

Reblogs.

Followers.

Those are the main ingredients for relapsing in our insecurities. Those things make us drown in jealousy and anger. We claim that we’re happy for other people, but it’s hard to be happy for them if they get the things that YOU want. It feels unfair and it feels like being happy for them is rubbing salt in the wound.

We all have our winning moments, but sometimes we feel like our own winning moments aren’t enough to make us happy. So, when will we finally be happy? When we get a million followers? When we get a million likes, reblogs, and retweets? A billion views until it goes viral? Billions of shares until the app crashes? Truth is, we don’t know. We don’t know until we get there.

You knew that it was unhealthy for you to be jealous of some girl, but you were supposed to be in her place. The title of being Tom’s girlfriend is supposed to be and is rightfully yours. Somehow, everything became fucked up and Tom ended up with some other girl who clearly wasn’t you. You can’t help but feel as if the universe sabotaged you when in reality, Tom just met her and after a few dates, they’re now going steady. The universe had nothing to do with it.

Everyday, you keep refreshing her Instagram profile just to see if she posted a new picture or video or an Instagram story. You knew you shouldn’t do that, but you couldn’t help it. You wanted to be happy for Tom, but he was supposed to be happy with you.

She was perfect. She had perfect teeth, perfect sense of style, perfect hair, she’s basically Little Miss Perfect and it’s actually sickening to think about it constantly. Deep down you knew you were just as pretty and just as perfect because fuck society and their standards, but you can’t let your thoughts go. You were sick of being yourself because you were convinced that you weren’t fun or interesting. You wanted to be her and it became an obsession.

You would always compare yourself to her and you would think about her often. Whenever you pick out an outfit, you’d always ask yourself if it’s something she’d wear. If the answer is no, you’d put the outfit back and look for another one. It was so unhealthy and everyone was worried about you. Tom didn’t know that this was going on, but everyone else noticed how weird you were being whenever Tom and his girlfriend were around.

“She went to Brazil with her friends recently. Tell them, babe!” Tom excitedly nudged her before she told her amazing vacation story. You wanted to roll your eyes, but you didn’t want everyone to see that. She was talking about the vintage clothes she bought there and her phone was passed around for everyone to see her photos in Brazil. Admittedly, you thought you were crazy for thinking these things. You should be happy for her and Tom, but it was difficult.

They say we shouldn’t bring down someone during their winning season because we don’t know how much they lost in their losing season. As much as you believed in that, you can’t help but feel that her win is your loss. Even though it’s not true, you still thought that way. You were tearing yourself apart over someone who wanted to be your friend, but your jealousy was hindering you from doing so.

You wanted to be her so bad that you swore to yourself that if you were a psycho, you’d probably wear her skin just to be her for at least a day. The only thing stopping you from doing so is the fact that you’re not a psycho and you’re a good person. Technically, you were capable of skinning someone alive and wearing their skin, but you choose not to listen to the call of the void. It would wreck you if you did.

It’s karaoke night and everyone was there. To get this off your chest, you decided to sing ‘jealousy, jealousy’ by Olivia Rodrigo. When you sang the bridge, you meant every word. Only Harry seemed to catch on as he listened intently.

All your friends are so cool, you go out every night

In your daddy’s nice car, yeah you’re livin’ the life

Go a pretty face, a pretty boyfriend, too

I wanna be you so bad and I don’t even know you

All I see is what I should be

Happier, prettier, jealousy, jealousy

All I see is what I should be

I’m losin’ it, all I get’s jealousy, jealousy

When the song was over, everyone clapped and told you that you sounded really good. “Wow, I didn’t know you could sing like that, Y/N! You sound really good.” She smiled brightly at you. “I’m jealous. I wish I could sing like you.”

You wanted to tell her that you were jealous of her too because she got the man of your dreams, but you took the compliment because for once in your life, someone you’re jealous of is jealous of YOU. That’s so fucking rare and it doesn’t happen to everyone. For once in your life, you had the upper hand and it made you happy. Genuinely happy. In this round, you were finally better than her.

You stared at her and grinned, “Thanks.”

* * * *

i apologize to the writers in this site who im jealous of. there's so many of you, but i want you all to know that im sorry for feeling so jealous and insecure of my own shit that i let it get in the way of getting along with you. im sorry for cutting people off all bc i got consumed by jealousy and im sorry for being an asshole and i understand if the friends i used to have here won't want to talk to me anymore. it's all my fault and i'd be the cause of my own death, i swear. anyway, i wont tag any of you bc i want to avoid stirring shit up and also, none of you will see or read this. i hope you're all okay and i wish you guys everything good in this world. im sick of feeling this way. i need therapy.

to my friends @blueleatherbag @justasmisunderstoodasloki @hjoficrecs @allyz, i want to thank u for being super supportive and thank u for staying by my side when everything was rough. i love all three of you and im sorry if i dont say it enough.

𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @celestialholland @alinastarkrovs @piscesparker @prancerrparkerr @spideyspeaches @givebuckyhisplumsnow @blueleatherbag @theonly1outof-a-billion @hollandbroz-n-haz @starlight-starks @webmeupspiderdaddy @studiesinspanish @bi-lmg @minejungwoo @blossomhollands @markhyucksmells @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @simonsbluee @itszulli

[joanna-lannister]

TAG 9 PEOPLE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THEIR INTERESTS

TAGGED BY: @alexcabotgf thank you so much baby, i freaking loved doing this ❤️✨

MUSIC

fave genre? mostly rock and pop, tho i tend to listen a bit of everything depending on the mood

fave artist? TAYLOR SWIFT, imagine dragons, placebo, halsey, t.a.t.u, olivia rodrigo + a few french artists probably no one knows here rip

fave song? my fave song tend to never be the same but right now, it's ivy by taylor swift, ahaha thank you for the whole breakdown, inspiration and obsession blondie! 😂😭

song currently stuck in your head? for some reasons, all too well and cruel summer by taylor swift, don't ask why i don't even know myself

5 fave lyrics? hard to pick only 5 lyrics tbh and most of them are going to be taylor but...

my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand — ivy by taylor swift

my love had been frozen / deep blue, but you painted me golden — dancing with our hands tied by taylor swift

like the naked leads the blind / i know i'm selfish, i'm unkind / sucker love i always find / someone to bruise and leave behind — every you every me by placebo

they say these are the golden years / but i wish i could disappear / ego crush is so severe / god, it's brutal out here — brutal by olivia rodrigo

they told me all of my cages were mental / so i got wasted like all my potential — this is me trying by taylor swift

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume | slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on (i'm too gay to drive but u know)

BOOKS

fav book genre? drama / thrillers / horror

fav writer? i don't think i have a favorite writer? if i have to choose, i'd probably say gillian flynn and agatha christie tho

fav book? the virgin suicides by jeffrey eugenides

fav book series? i'll be honest but, book series ain't really my thing so i'm gonna pick up twilight by stephenie meyer because i have been stuck with it since i'm a teen. still need to read the hunger games tho

comfort book? and then there were none by agatha christie

perfect book to read on a rainy day? sisters under the skin by willa marsh

fave characters? amy dunne, lux lisbon, camille preaker, vera claythorne

5 quotes from your fave books that you know by heart?

we knew the girls were really women in disguise, that they understood love, and even death, and that our job was merely to create the noise that seemed to fascinate them. — the virgin suicides by jeffrey eugenides

she wasn’t even sure if she loved him, as much as they were fused. like he was an extra appendage, a part of her that could never be severed. a single heart beating between them. the two of them lived in a bubble of their own making. other people might see the dark edges, but they saw only the gilded center. — the roanoke girls by amy engel

tampon commercial, detergent commercial, maxi pad commercial, windex commercial - you'd think all women do is clean and bleed. — gone girl by gillian flynn

these violent delights have violent ends. — romeo and juliet by william shakespeare

a child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort. — sharp objects by gillian flynn

hardcover or paperback | buy (i mostly buy my books as second hand tho) or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS (both? depends honestly) | judging by the covers or by the summary (same, both, but usually the cover has to appeal me first before i give a look at the summary) | rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

fave tv/movie genre? drama / sci-fi / horror and thrillers / biopic

fave movie? marie antoinette by sofia coppola

comfort movie? tangled, love, rosie, titanic, mamma mia!

fave tv show? game of thrones

most rewatched tv show? lmao honestly and it won't be a surprise but game of thrones lmao i'm not even sorry, and i used to rewatch A LOT the walking dead from season 1 to season 5 back in the days tho.

5 fave characters?

cersei lannister — game of thrones

jaime lannister — game of thrones

clarke griffin — the 100

bellamy blake — the 100

octavia blake — the 100

+ kudos to eleanor henstridge because she means so much to me

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once (unless it's a fave, but otherwise i just watch once)

TAGGING: @captainwilldameron @ballroomofmymindp @daynes @jckeperalta @ohwarnette @lameblake @lahnister @ferrisbuellers @aesedais

[constellationseven]

2021 Reflection

I saw this end of the year meme on the TL (credit to: tina-warriorprincess I believe) and it was a nice reflection to do.

First things first, did you have a good year? No, I can honestly say I didn’t. Instead it may have been one of the worst and hardest yet, though I wouldn’t throw it all away either. It’s funny how something can be so awful yet contain such incredible things as well.

How old did you turn this year? Twenty-four!

Do you feel your age? Yes and no. I don’t and I do. It’s always hard to conceptualize. I usually feel it more towards the end though when I’ve grown attached, then it’s starting all over again.

Did your appearance change in anyway? Not really? I’m not sure. I got a new tattoo though. I cut my hair and now it’s growing again.

Post your favorite selfie. I’ll post em at the bottom of this. 

If you traveled, where did you go?

The eastern coast of Florida, San Francisco, Northern California and the coast, Lake Superior and the North Woods, and New York City.

Which fashion trends did you love?

I didn’t really get many opportunities to participate in a lot of fashion this year but I have been very into all the boots and have been wearing a lot of blazers and trousers.

Which fashion trends did you hate? I’m not really a hater of any trends but I suppose I could never really get into certain athletic wears (like the lululemon tops- not even a fan of leggings) nor will I ever want to wear low-rise jeans again.

What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible? Maybe my black trousers. Wore a lot of black this year. Didn’t get any good outfit pictures though.

What song sums up this year for you? Never let me go - Rachel Portman

What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then? I’m not one to fixate on particular artists or albums since I listen to music pretty chaotically but honestly... I enjoyed the Olivia Rodrigo and Taylor Swift albums this year for fun.

What was your favorite movie of the year? This is tough.... I’m bad at recall and should really start tracking my movies again.....As for movies that came out this year- I mean Dune was a cool watch. Oooh I just remembered I watched Leon the Professional finally and really enjoyed it.

Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year? Oh all the time but it’s usually only a momentary thing so again, couldn’t tell ya a name.

Favorite new TV show? Okay.. actually watched a decent amount of shows for once.... anime wise probably Made in Abyss, Monster, and the new Fruits Basket. And for TV in general Haunting of Hill House, Hometown Cha Cha Cha, Mad Men... the list will go on and on..

Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears? Haven’t really gotten into any sort of fandom for a long time but Jujutsu Kaisen probably had a bit of a hold on me earlier in the year while I caught up on the manga

What food did you try for the first time? oooh lots, had a lot of Greek food and whole food that was fantastic this summer.

Did you make any big permanent changes this year? Is anything really permanent? Haha. Anyways I hope not because I sure as hell don’t want to be stuck like this.

What was one nice thing you did for someone else? Lots of caretaking for my grandpa this year, and trying to do a lot of unprompted tasks for others. Bought my brother a trip to New York for his Birthday and my mom’s dream French Dutch oven for hers.

What was one nice thing you did for yourself? Indulge. 

Did you develop a new obsession? Too many. And none of them healthy probably. Though I am working on starting more creative and productive habits again like journaling or drawing.

Did you vote? I don’t think there was any major voting this year and honestly if there was I’m not sure I’d want to as with the way things keep going it all seems quite redundant these days.

Did you move? God I wish, but no- I mean yeah, kind of. Moved back home from college. 

Did you get a job? Yup. It’s remote which is nice- it’s a really great thing actually but it also feels temporary and I’m restless.

Did you get a pet? No, but again I wish!!!

Do you regret not doing anything? God yes, all the time. 

Do you regret doing something? GOD yes, all the time. (okay, just kidding. I don’t really regret things so much that it takes up a great deal of time or anything and I’ve made a lot of peace with things as well- but I think the main regrets come for things that are controllable and can still be changed).

Have you done anything that scared you? Oh yeah, I scare myself plenty! It’s been a hard year for many reasons so in a way just about everything I did scared me especially when I was unrecognizable. 

Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days? Yes, I’ve felt a seemingly unending anger this year (resulting from what I can only pinpoint as grief?) and it’s been difficult work through these feelings especially as it feels like it has nowhere to go. Then, as a result it spills out into frustrations at everything little thing and every single person. Anything and everything has seemed to annoy me even (and especially) when people are just trying to be kind or thoughtful towards me. Though there were a few instances where being mad was appropriately warranted.

Did you lose anyone close to you? My dad. 

Did you fall in love? Momentarily, I may be able to have called it that. 

Did you fall out of love? If it was, then yeah maybe.

Did you start a new relationship? Not a defined one.

Did you go through a break up? Nope.

Did you have to cut ties to someone? Not purposely?

Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year? I’d like to think anyone who comes into my life and exists in my life is automatically important to me no matter how close I am to them.

Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year? (what are these questions lol- though I guess it’s fair that feelings change??) Again though, I wouldn’t want to hold on to anyone in my life that I thought wasn’t “important”. Even those who aren’t in my life anymore- I wouldn’t go as far as saying they were ever unimportant. You’d have to really be like a sleaze or something lol (though maybe I’m overthinking these questions because of the wording. Okay yeah I’m definitely overthinking these questions).

If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it? Of course. Though I don’t like thinking like that and now would rather just accept everything for how it happened.

What was the best moment of the year for you? Graduating college. Experiencing a summer romance straight from a novel. Going on multiple trips with my brother and trying new things. Great memories with friends.

What was the worst? Receiving and living through some of the most traumatic news of my life.

Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t? I usually expect any new experience to fundamentally change me for some reason, but I don’t think that ever really ends up happening. Especially new milestones I hit this year that didn’t end up changing anything. Though maybe in time, or maybe I just didn’t notice.

Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did? Yeah, to counteract the las question I think I fundamentally changed a lot this year and from things I would never expect. I think becoming a caretaker (temporary but with some lasting effects and changes) in the latter part of the year was something I didn’t expect to affect me so much.

What are you most proud of accomplishing? Being proud is something that’s hard for me, but I can recognize that I graduated and I also came off of medications I’d been on over half my life and while I’m not where I want to be I’m proud of the way I am able to self-regulate now and the way I am able to challenge my limiting beliefs and thoughts. Also at my ability to finally start being vulnerable, no matter how much of a way I have to go, I started.

What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior? That I’m not a lost cause. That I can live.

Did your opinion of anyone change for the better? Myself!! And most likely, that’s life.

Did your opinion of anyone change for worse? Yeah, that’s life.

If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year? I can’t remember, but I have my 2020 resolutions near me and I really have in many ways.

If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year? I don’t really believe in “resolutions” since it suggests something so definitive but rather goals or visions for the new year. Not things that have to be absolute or it ends in failure, but instead ideas and things that are motivating and guiding. I’ve been working a lot more on trying to be more organized and learning how to be more clear on what I want.

If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do?  Who would you go this? Girl.... there are no remaining days LOL but my New Years Eve dream for this year would have been going to an orchestra concert with someone special :-) I miss orchestra concerts and there was going to be one NYE and maybe there still is but COVID timing right now... And another dream of mine is to do Hatsumode in Japan. I’ve got a little adventure planned for myself New Years morning though to see the first sunset.

What do you wish for others for the coming year? Peace, Love, Happiness!!!! No but, I truly wish for others to get all of the rest and comfort. It’s been a hard year and everyone deserves to thrive and to receive compassion and fortune.

What do you wish for yourself? To also receive and give all the love. And to be compassionate towards myself and fully embrace all that I am and am given. For anything and everything I dream. For abundance.

cya 2021