#it's like my fav thing to do:3

[jagalart]

Yarrow and Feverfew

Art trade with the incredible @liscepu, I'm so grateful for the chance! Thank you for fueling my love for the game again <3

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

haha just kidding, nothing is free!

100 bucks. fork it over.

[delicourse]

lilac season

[ghosttotheparty]

based on this post of mine bc i had thoughts // tw surgery mention, anaesthesia, hospital environment (not detailed its just there)

“And who are you?”

Steve pauses by the door, setting his jacket on the back of the chair next to Wayne. He looks over at Eddie, laying in his bed, covered in a blanket, his hair a messy halo around his head. His eyes are shining brightly, staring intently at Steve.

“He’s very high,” Wayne says to Steve, smiling softly.

“Yeah, I got that,” Steve says, watching Eddie roll slightly, groaning loudly. “Surgery went well?”

“Went fine,” Wayne says lightly, and Steve can see the relief in him as he leans back, eyes watching Eddie like he’s scared to look away.

“Eds?” Steve says, moving closer to the bed. “How was surgery?”

“Was fu-u-un…”

“Yeah? You had fun?”

Eddie hums affirmatively, and Steve crouches next to the bed, looking at him. There’s a bandage on his cheek, and the sight of it makes Steve’s chest ache, but Eddie’s eyes are shining brightly, glazed over as he blinks at Steve.

“Whoa,” he breathes dramatically, and Steve suppresses a smile.

“What?”

Eddie lifts a hand, and it lands heavily on the side of Steve’s face, making him recoil slightly even as he laughs. Eddie’s fingers press into his skin, kneading his cheek.

“You’re fuckin’ beautiful.”

Steve’s eyebrows fly up, and his face burns as he hears Wayne laugh quietly behind him.

“Am I?”

Eddie hums again, smiling brightly, deliriously, wriggling as he shakes Steve’s face.

“Pretty boy,” he mumbles. “Pretty, pretty, pretty boy.” He releases his cheek to boop his nose a little too hard. “Who are you?”

“I’m Steve.”

“Ste-e-e-eve…” Eddie blinks at him, poking his face again. “Stevie, Stevie, Stevie.”

“Hi, Eddie,” Steve says softly.

“Princess Stevie,” Eddie slurs happily.

“Princess?”

“Mm. Princess. Pretty princess.”

Wayne laughs quietly behind Steve, and Steve turns to glare at him over his shoulder. He’s rubbing his forehead and smiling amusedly, and Steve starts to open his mouth to speak, but Eddie grabs at his face again, pulling him to face him.

Eddie’s eyes are almost closed, like his eyelids are heavy, and his fingers are petting at Steve’s cheek and jaw, rubbing his stubble. (He hasn’t shaved. He’s been too stressed. He was planning on shaving tonight after getting firm confirmation that Eddie is okay, but if Eddie likes it…)

Eddie lets go of his cheek and boops his nose a little to hard. And then he does it again, and again, humming a song that Steve doesn’t recognize.

“Do you like boys?” Eddie asks abruptly, his fingertip lingering on the tip of Steve’s nose. Wayne barks out a laugh behind Steve, and Steve’s face burns, and for some reason, even though Eddie isn’t going to remember this and Wayne is right there, Steve says, “Yes, I do.”

Eddie’s face lights up, and he tries to sit up, but Steve gently keeps him down, murmuring a soft, “Stay here, Eddie.”

“You do?” Eddie asks hopefully, flopping back down and looking up at Steve, who suppresses a smile, nodding.

“Yeah.”

Eddie’s eyes widen and he turns his face into his pillow, reaching up to pull his hair across his face shyly, shifting and fidgeting and wiggling, and Steve gazes fondly, contently. He hasn’t felt this calm in a good long while.

“Can I have a kiss?” Eddie asks shyly, and Steve raises his eyebrows. “Please.”

“You’re high, Eddie.”

“I’ve been higher,” Eddie says, his voice slurring, mumbly. Steve just looks at him for a moment, watching his eyes shine. “Please? I’ll be good.”

Steve’s stomach flutters, and he exhales, hesitating before he turns to look at Wayne, who’s still watching, smiling absently with his face resting on his hand. Steve raises his eyebrows, shrugging weakly, asking silently what to do as Eddie’s hand touches his cheek again.

Wayne shrugs, his smile growing, and then he points to his forehead with another shrug, and Steve sighs.

He turns back to face Eddie, who’s gazing at him blearily, his eyes glazed over.

“I won’t kiss your mouth,” Steve starts, cracking a smile when Eddie’s lips pout, his lower lip poking out, shining. “But I’ll kiss your forehead if you want.”

Eddie beams.

“Yes, please.”

Steve smiles, licks his lips, shifting on the ground as Eddie smiles up at him.

“Don’t move,” he says firmly, and Eddie nods, his body tightening and his eyes closing. He’s still smiling.

Steve takes a moment to gaze at him. At the lines in his skin from his smile, at his dark eyelashes and chapped lips. (Which Steve will kiss when he’ll be able to remember it.)

He brushes Eddie’s bangs back carefully, and Eddie inhales, his smile growing even more somehow, and then he leans close, pressing his lips to his forehead softly, leaving a lingering kiss on his skin.

Eddie sighs, still lying stiffly, unmoving, being good like he said he would, and when Steve pulls away to look at him, his cheeks are flushed pink. A second passes before Eddie's eyes flutter open, and then he's smiling so brightly his eyes are squeezing shut, and he rolls away a little bit, letting out an excited squeal that makes Steve burst into laughter.

"Wayne," Eddie calls, rolling over and looking across the room at Wayne, who's laughing even harder than Steve, covering his face with a hand. "A pretty boy kissed me, d'ya see?"

"I saw, Eds, 'm happy for you."

Eddie giggles deliriously and rolls over again, wiggling, and Steve presses his face to the side of his bed, his face hot, because even though it was Wayne's fucking idea, he forgot Wayne was watching him press the softest kiss humanly possible to Eddie's forehead, was probably watching his gaze at him before it. But Wayne is laughing, amused, and probably relieved to be hearing Eddie giggle and squeal happily after worrying for so long.

"Alright," Steve says after taking a moment to collect himself, reaching up and pulling at Eddie's shoulder. "You're gonna pull your stitches, honey, lay still."

"Honey," Eddie repeats, his eyes shining brightly, the bandage on his cheek wrinkling as his cheeks squish up under his smile. "Honey, honey, honey, honey..."

Steve's face burns again.

"You're so sweet, Stevie," Eddie says lightly, his voice mumbly. "Sweet boy. Sweetheart. Cotton candy boy."

"Cotton candy boy," Steve repeats under his breath, and Eddie hums affirmatively.

"Cotton candy. Sweet. Hubba Bubba. Bubblegum baby."

"He's a poet," Wayne quips behind Steve, and Steve turns to glare at him, but he can't fully suppress the smile that's making his face sore. Eddie is still mumbling to himself, now reaching up to rub Steve's face again.

"Sweet like iced tea. Like a lollipop." He giggles to himself, pressing his fingers into Steve's cheek again. "Wanna lick you."

A laugh bursts out of Wayne, and Steve's face floods with heat.

"Oh my god."

Eddie giggles.

He asks to hold Steve's hand after rambling a little while longer, after comparing Steve to cake frosting and strawberries and honeysuckle blossoms, and Steve lets him take it, watches their fingers lace and twist together, and Wayne finally brings a chair over to him with Eddie doesn't want to let go. Wayne kisses Eddie's head when he says goodnight, and then he kisses the top of Steve's. It makes Steve's eyes burn and fill with tears that he refuses to let fall until after the door's shut behind Wayne.

Eddie asks if he's okay, eyes filled with concern, and his fingers tighten on Steve's. Steve wipes his face and smiles, telling him he's fine. No one's kissed me like that in a long while. Eddie sighs and relaxes, still gazing at him. Tells him Wayne does it all the time, and he'd probably do it to Steve if he wants him to.

"I can kiss you like that if you want," he offers kindly, sleepily. Steve raises his hand to his lips and kisses his knuckles.

"Tomorrow."

"Okay."

(Eddie doesn't remember anything when he wakes up the next day, but when he opens his eyes to find Steve resting his head next to him on his bed and Steve's fingers twisted around his, he certainly doesn't complain.)

[tojiscrack]

to my all little liars!! (edit: wtf happened to my english? 😭)

we’re at 24.6k words rn 😟 if you plan on reading it next week, i recommend you read it on the weekends when there’s no school or work for you waiting in the morning 😀

calling in the troops rn ‘cause there’s still one final scene i have to write and it’s gonna be LONG (this isn’t including the bonus scene btw) but it’s extremely important for the story to continue, and without it, the rest of the story literally cannot go on 😭

we’re locking in guys. it’s 100% gonna border 30k words for sureee. sm has happened in that ONE chapter and i literally cannot wait to release it for all of you, you have no ideaaa

gonna go to bed and then wake up, study, break, write for the fic, repeat. had to randomly drop an update here cuz i’ve been edging you guys for so long i’m sorryyy, but it really is nearly here <333

edit: fck it guys i’m writing it rn (the immediate comments got me motivated)

[aurorangen]

To summarise: Casper's having the time of his life, Petrah's glued to her seat and Marco came for the free food 👍 But hey everyone's having a great time and we get to meet the newest addition to the Apple family...Briar!!!

The cousins meeting for the first time 🥺

[dizzybizz]

redraw of a galo from last year!!! :3

side-by-side comparison :-)

[lavaflowe]

One of my favorite chapters, makes me laugh everytime

Like imagine drinking from this random river gets you pregnant and then you have to drink this other water to get rid of it and THEN you have the worst bowel movement of your LIFE and you’re never the same

[amphirrhvx]

ooo he's eating 🍜(HS'05 AU takeda was made by @kiinuuzzz <3)

[mblue-art]

uweurgh///

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

and now, a break from our normal schedule for my Favorite cat dad and his lovely vagabond son

[kanis-things]

the prisoner of own blood

[0m3n-0f-d3ath]

Doodles :3

I think I’m very funny btw

[tsukasalover]

I can think of a lot of reasons why I like and have gotten attached to tsukasa more than any other fictional character and i think if i had to keep it simple (or else id be rambling for hours) id say

1. He’s so interesting. I usually pick up the extremely mischaracterized blonde characters anyways but he gets my brain working real hard. its almost 2am and i cant think straight but theres something about his duality that keeps me glued to him and the amount of Layers he has and how removing even one layer or completely ignoring how both his huge ego and kindness + selflessness coexist can really mess up your perception of him. There was something quite short i wrote about how both sides make him. Well. Him. back when his colofes dropped since i was so annoyed at the people Not getting it (while most never even read the STORIES 😁) anf ive been screaming this for a year now Please. Also the way his dream and being a good big brother go hand in hand have captured me. I really like fictional siblings and they fill something personal i miss and Looove looking at the roots of characters. Discovering where this and that and connecting events to what started their behaviors or helped their personality bloom. So seeing saki and toya play such an important role in his life keeps me HOOOKEDDD. I took the bait like tiny fish. Dont regret it. Never will. I like my fictional characters like layered cake. Thats basically how i see them. I had a yummy chocolate cake with so mant layers the other day 🤤 but anyways. I also really like when characters have to learn and grow as people after making really bad mistakes or being straight up assholes so it really took a while even after mainstory but once i got to see more of him with saki and read dazzling i was like. This is the guyyy. Youre mine now lets go. I dont like perfect characters but.. you see.. when characters who have (sometimes way too much) confidence and are dramatic yet are shown to truly be good people who enjoy making others happy… alright.. now im listening… Sign me up…

But really he has almost everything I’ve ever looked for in a character. Starting with the fact that he’s a theatre kid. And blonde. Of course emu nene and rui + more fictional characters have made their way into my heart and ive gotten attached to them on very Very personal levels but when it comes to this Idiot who wants to be a star and reminds me of a dog its something that i dont even know how to explain sometimes. Why is he here? What are you doing inside of my head. Ill never have one solid answer because he takes up too much space in my mind and i become incoherent too often when talking about him.

2. Ignoring my first answer, He is ugly. My favorite punching bag. Cartoon character. Begins floating when he smells pie. I dont know anymore

3. he just like me fr (Which is terrible i dont like that)

[shroom-gloom]

hm

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛