#it's like in their heads is an incredibly massive and infinite history book with thousands of personal experiences and forgotten dynasties

[fearandhatred]

damn we really don't think enough about the major world events that crowley and aziraphale have witnessed on both ends. all the horrible things like wars, discrimination, natural disasters, genocide, etc. yes but also all the good: liberation, major political reforms, the invention of new genres and materials and technology and fields of study.

like oh my god. they were there for all the centuries that women had no rights at all and then they got to witness the suffragettes, the women writers and royals and inventors and activists. they got to witness the overturning of anti-lgbtq and racial segregation laws and the celebration of human rights and identities. they were there to witness international tragedies but also the solidarity from everyone all over the world rallying for peace for people they don't even know. they got to see humans create new forms of art and fashion and the printing press and electricity and poetry and and and coloured television and music and they got to see humans constantly find new ways to find connection and love and fun and passion and their own forms of expression.

like imagine being there for everything. how could you not love the world after seeing the fall and rise of humanity over and over again in every way shape and form for six thousand years. holy shit

[cool-crap-daily]

Here is a cool thing I wrote. It's meant to be a prologue, but the book it's a prologue to doesn't exist because I am lazy. If you don't like it, too bad, you just read the whole thing sucks to be you ig.

Earth. 

    A planet full of natural wonders, rich in resources, and green with life, reduced to a festering pile of rubble and poverty. Not decimated by some outside force, no, it was ruined by scientific advancement and the sinfulness of man. The paragons of those horrors were called The Ascended. The Ascended were a group of individuals who had used the secrets of The Breakthrough to ‘ascend’. Each of them gained levels of power akin to those of the gods of legend. Every man, woman, and child in The Empire knew their names. Havoc, Seraphim, Volt, Stratagem, Hive, and finally, The Beholder.

    Havoc mastered the art of destruction. Originally the CEO of the world's leading weapons manufacturer, "Arcturus Armaments", The Breakthrough allowed him to fuse his mortal form with the instruments of chaos he created. Wielding atomic lasers and hypersonic rail-cannons as well as a panoply of other ordinances, he became an unstoppable courier of fire and death. To top it all off, his body was armor-plated in a composite meta-material that left him virtually invincible.

    Seraphim, the biological angel of life, had mastered the power of healing, the inverse of Havoc. Once the world's foremost scientist of medical studies, she created technologies that saved millions of lives. After the breakthrough, however, she melded herself with prototype machines she'd been working on in secret and obtained the ultimate treasure. The terrible prize that so many in history had sought after. Immortality. Any wounds she received closed as quickly as they opened, her aging halted in its tracks. She had an immune system aided by nanotech so that no pathogen stood a chance against her. Alas, she gave in to her dark fantasies of endless reign and destroyed all notes, machines, and evidence of her immortality tech, so that only she would be without a mortal end.

    Volt, the mover of mountains and Hermes incarnate, was once a man known as Ahmad Cunningham. He was the lead engineer of Athletonics Inc, the world's largest manufacturer of cybernetics, as well as his own startup: Fusoria Industries, the most advanced in Fusion power research. Using The Breakthrough, he molded his body into his most ambitious exoskeleton yet. This suit had so much potential that it needed impossible amounts of power to function. The only thing that could fuel such a bionic juggernaut was a prototype fusion reactor that he incorporated into the design. He could run and fly at incomprehensible speeds and could deliver enough energy in a single blow to flatten a skyscraper.

    Stratagem, the shadow of the abyss and master of illusion, was a trillionaire like the others in her former life, but her field of choice was espionage and stealth technologies. The Breakthrough allowed her to become nothing but a whisper on the airwaves, just a flickering of distortion on the edge of the most advanced cameras on the planet. She cloaked herself in stealth tech decades ahead of anything else ever conceived. She was completely invisible to the naked eye, and utterly silent to the ear. The only sensors that could hope to detect her were the ones she herself invented and replaced her eyes with. She could look through concrete walls and magnify her view enough to see miles away.

    Hive, the unfeeling swarm of symmetrical horror, was born out of a man named Stewart Stanford, the Head of Robotics and Androids Research of Rubicon Industries. Rubicon Industries used to be a competitor of Athletonics Inc. until the Ascended took over. Utilizing The Breakthrough, he uploaded his consciousness into his company’s hypercomputers, which were capable of processing petabytes of information per second. In doing so he gained unbelievable power but lost his humanity. After stealing FTL communication tech from a competing company, he could command his legion of millions of drones as if they were his body, seeing through myriads of eyes, controlling an endless swarm of weapons and tools. He could mine resources to create more drone factories and computers for himself, and there was nothing to stop him from doubling his forces every few weeks if left unchecked.

    The final member of the Ascended was The Beholder. Unlike the others, who are all incredibly infamous, few knew much about The Beholder. He used to work as a scientist at Tesseract Labs, whose main goal was to discover the secrets of quantum mechanics and dimensional dynamics. Before The Breakthrough, they had produced an FTL communication prototype, but it had vanished mysteriously, and they lost their government grants. Just before they shut down, an infinite number of new avenues for research opened up thanks to The Breakthrough. The lab was back in action. Using the power of The Breakthrough, they built a machine to study the secrets of existence itself. The machine was to a particle accelerator as a particle accelerator was to a particularly uninteresting rock. Alas, the scientists became arrogant and dug too deep, and it cost them everything. A horrible calamity struck as they probed into the folds of reality, ripping the entire facility out of the fabric of the universe and whipping it into the deepest Oblivion as the machine imploded. 

    The only survivor, if one could even call him that, was the man who was operating the machine during the calamity. Alexander Belton. The Beholder. His consciousness was caught between the two sides of the schism, split into an infinite number of parts and pieced together again over and over for an abstract eternity. Slowly, he learned to control the forces beyond reality and started to hold himself together. He built himself a physical form, found his way through the ever-changing miasma of the ethereal beyond back to our world. Coming back into existence crippled him, though, limiting his power and preventing him from ever leaving again. He anchored himself to this plane. Still, he was the most powerful of the Ascended by far, able to manipulate reality and travel through spacetime effortlessly, though not able to interact with the past. No one knew anything about where he was, what his motives were, or if the stories were even true. The other Ascended denied his existence, but endless numbers of sightings and stories of hope from the oppressed said otherwise.

    Together, the Ascended ruled the world uncontested, vowing a tentative truce, and promising to never allow anyone else to discover the secrets of The Breakthrough. They feared someone else could ascend using its power, jeopardizing their rule. They had scuffles occasionally, obliterating a few square miles of city here and there, but mostly they minded their business. They held a public meeting once a month to make decisions and ensure benevolent relations between them, as well as to agree on any new tenets to press onto the dying people of their world. They were corrupt, and they were only growing more so, but they enslaved the people in factories and power plants, under so much surveillance that the citizens were utterly powerless to stop them.

    Each of them controlled a different aspect of The Empire. Havoc was in charge of all military efforts as well as policing the citizens. His loyal knights carried out executions and silenced hope, armed with weapons that had power mirroring his own.

Seraphim was responsible for all biological research and plague control, as well as the only hospital left in existence. The Hospital was only open to the most elite, and only they could even afford a visit.

Volt was in charge of all power generation for The Empire. All electricity was generated by four massive fusion reactors, one in each district. Each absolutely dominated its skyline and required only tiny amounts of fuel to run in comparison. The fuel that they did need, however, was incredibly hard to produce, requiring tens of thousands of hours of manual labor involving harsh chemicals and radiation to create even a single gram.

Stratagem worked day and night to make sure that every square inch of The Empire was surveilled by one of her cameras, bugs, drones, or agents at all times. This way, the Ascended could stamp out any notion of an uprising or rebellion before it even began. She had hundreds of operatives who scoured The Empire and cyberspace for any intel or data that the Ascended could use.

Hive controlled all construction and resource gathering, his body made up of an endless swarm. If another thirty-story domestic housing unit needed to be constructed, it could be done overnight. Any steel or alloys that were required, he strip-mined from the less habitable parts of the planet, placed onto automated trains that carried them back to the factories. If any single part of the logistic chain was broken or destroyed, there was enough redundancy in the system that he could fix it in a matter of hours or even minutes.

Together, the six Ascended ruled The Empire with an iron fist, surveying their dystopia with cold, calculated, pride. They took comfort in the fact that no human alive could ever hope to topple their rule. It all worked like a well-oiled machine; oiled with blood, but oiled nonetheless. They sat on their thrones in The Floating Citadel, basking in the perverted glory of their ultimate abomination. Earth.

But seven became eight, and now, The Godhunter stalks her prey.

[Initiate Epic Soundtrack]

[adverb-slut]

To Be Human (Fanfiction) Part 5/?

This took ... way longer than expected due to my sheer laziness.  Thank you for your patience!  Also, here is the link to this chapter on AO3.  (Also yay, I finally remembered to include a Michael and Lucifer Celestial Realm flashback!)

Title:

To Be Human

Summary:

When a mysterious force attacks the Devildom and destroys it, the brothers are forced to turn to their Father in the Celestial Realm for answers and assistance. However, the Almighty is still miffed at the seven due to their involvement in the Great Celestial War, and sends them to seek asylum in the one place they have yet to make their mark—the Human World.

Without the help of their beloved MC, the brothers must learn to assimilate into this strange new world, all while trying to figure out who is responsible for the destruction of the Devildom and take back their home.

Rating:

T

Word Count:

4195

Previous Chapter:

Read Chapter 4 here!

-

Lucifer adjusted his halo, which floated almost ominously over his head.  Halos were considered part of the angels’ “formal attire,” but considering Lucifer was constantly in the presence of Father, wearing something so ceremonial for his work attire seemed appropriate.  

“Michael, are you nearly ready?” he called, his voice reverberating through the House of Great Elation.  “You know Father doesn’t like it if I’m late.”  

He checked the ornate gold grandfather clock that was situated at the edge of one of the many parlors in their home.  

It was almost fifteen minutes until eight, and in that time, he and Michael had to walk to Simeon and Uriel’s home—Perfection Hall—and drop off the infant Luke on their way to their Father’s Palace, where Lucifer worked.  After that, Michael would meander his way to the Celestial Realm barracks, where he led Father’s legions as their Major General.

“I’m here, I’m here,” Michael panted, running down the grand staircase which connected to his wing of the house.  He supported Luke, who was thrown over his shoulder with one hand, and in the other, he held his Sword of the Spirit.  

Lucifer cringed when he noticed that the rest of the Angel of Destruction’s Armor of God had been strapped on haphazardly — tightened and loosened at ill-fitting places, but he sighed when he remembered that all the soldiers under him were far too terrified of their Major General to ever point it out.  

He nodded at Michael.  “Let’s go, then.  Step lively—we’ll be late, otherwise.”

The pair walked silently down the bustling streets of the Celestial Realm, which, sad to say, became infinitely less bustling when they saw Michael.  In fact, sometimes Lucifer wondered if his Father had gotten His idea of parting the Red Sea for the Israelites from seeing the wide berth that the other angels gave toward the Angel of Destruction.

Lucifer hated to say that he—and Michael—were used to this.  Used to the stares, the whispers, the glares, the hushed scathing remarks. 

Even Luke cooed uneasily.

���He destroys everything he touches!”

“Love the guy, but you can’t keep him around.  The man carries an aura of destruction.”

“So powerful, but at what cost?”

“Who does he think he’s fooling with that puppy-dog attitude?”

“Why do we even need an Angel of Destruction, anyway?  He’s just a menace.”

The words were a dagger, dull but piercing, toward the happy-go-lucky Michael, who had but nothing but love and friendship to offer his fellow celestial beings.

Lucifer heaved a sour breath as he and Michael made their way toward Perfection Hall.

If it wasn’t for him and the Archangels, Michael would’ve been all alone.

Or worse—ran out of the Celestial Realm.

Mammon bit his lip as the static-laden voice boomed through the landline base.  He hadn’t been asked to study the Bible or any ancient history regarding it since his stint at the Celestial Realm.  The only thing about King Solomon that he remembered from back then was that he was incredibly wealthy, and Mammon had always reveled in calculating how much the king’s possessions were worth—the sheer magnitude of the value never ceased to amaze him.

However, he also did remember something about King Solomon being the “wisest man to ever live.”  His heralded wisdom, supposedly, had come to him through a dream from God, Who had promised Solomon anything in the world.  Instead of choosing riches and wealth, the king had chosen wisdom.  Pleased with his request, God granted him not only the wisdom that he had requested but worldly pleasures as well, such as insurmountable wealth and power.  

… Why in the world would such a blessed and influential man pose as a menial exchange student and interact with demons thousands of years later?

Mammon lost his train of thought when Lucifer walked closer to the speakerphone and bellowed, “It is us.”

There was silence on the other end and the other five brothers exchanged glances—partially due to Lucifer’s vague response and partially because of the aforementioned quietness.  

Suddenly, a crackle came through the speaker and Solomon said, “Ah, I see; unfortunately, that doesn’t aid me in discerning your identity, and as I’ve a great deal of powerful enemies, I think I will have to say goodb—”

“Solomon, it’s me!  Asmo!” the fifthborn chirped.  He raised an eyebrow at Lucifer, who sighed in surrender and stepped away from the phone.

From the speaker came an audible gasp.  “Asmo!  It’s been a long time.”  Another crackle.  “I suppose that that was Lucifer just now?”

Mammon snickered and called, “That was him, alright.”

“I see!  Pardon me for asking, but why are you calling from this unknown number?  I believe I have your D.D.D contact saved still.”  

“Long story,” chimed in Leviathan.  “We’re in the Human World now ‘cause we think someone’s out to get us in the Devildom.”

Satan nodded.  “And we’re using this primitive human technology called a ‘landline’ to reach you, as we’ve yet to be provided with mobile devices.”  

Something crashed on Solomon’s end, and Mammon wagered that he must have dropped his phone in shock.  A moment later, the sorcerer’s voice returned.  “Did I hear that right?  You seven are in the Human World?”

“Yes, we are.  We called you because we have some questions.”  Beel walked forward so that he was standing directly in front of the speaker.  “What are the best restaurants up here?”

A confused mumble came from Solomon, before he answered, “Uh, well—”

“You can hold off on answering that one, for now, Solomon,” interrupted Lucifer, shaking his head at Beel.  “Rather, we figure you can help us solve a different problem of ours.”  

“And that would be?”

Lucifer took a deep breath, and Mammon had to admit that he’d never seen his elder brother look so stressed.  He was surprised that Asmo hadn’t scolded him over the wrinkle that was beginning to form between his brows.  “Diavolo and the Devildom are in trouble, and someone has stolen information regarding the culprit behind this entire ordeal from my Father’s omniscience.  Without it, we cannot find Diavolo or discern who is behind this.  You have ties to many demons, not to mention are a sorcerer—”

“And the primordial King of Israel!  Did you ever plan on telling me that?  I think I should know if I have a pact with someone as glamorous as royalty!” huffed Asmodeus.

Solomon let out an amused hum.  “Oh, so you figured that out, did you?  Did Simeon tell you?”

“Apparently he’s the one who set your contact into our phone under the name ‘his Imperial Majesty, King Solomon of Israel,’ so kinda, yeah,” Mammon said.

“Mind explaining how you’re some kind of immortal king?” demanded Belphie.  “Last time I checked, humans don’t live for very long.”

The sorcerer laughed.  “I suppose you know that I once asked God for wisdom in a dream, and as soon as I had it, all kinds of arcane knowledge regarding sorcery and magic, demons and angels, was opened up to me, and from there I learned about demon pacts.  One time I pledged my life to a demon—my soul for immortality.”

Satan rubbed his chin thoughtfully.  “If I’m following you correctly, wouldn’t that have to mean that you sold your soul rather early in your life to look as youthful as you do now?  Unless … you also managed to change your appearance entirely?”

“Nice catch, Satan,” mused Solomon.  “Actually, yes, it was quite early in my reign that I began to dabble in the dark arts and sell my soul, and yes, my immortality  does prevent me from physically aging.  Ah, wait, that’s not entirely true—my hair is the only thing that continues to age, which is the reason as to why it’s as white as it is.”

“I really feel as if I ought to have been made aware of this!” grumbled Asmo.

Mammon put a hand to his cheek pensively, as the fifthborn continued to bemoan the massive injustice that had been done to him through this secret.  Something didn’t seem right about Solomon’s story.  As far as he was concerned, his Father wasn’t a fan of demons—that much He had made very clear—and there was no way that a person who consorted with them to the degree that Solomon supposedly had in the past would be remembered honorably in the Bible.  

But that wasn’t the case.  If he was remembering correctly, God had nothing but praises to sing of Solomon, and save for his singular mistake of having his heart led astray by his unholy number of wives, the king was revered and respected in biblical history.  He even had penned several books of the Bible, displaying his wisdom and knowledge. 

That certainly didn’t line up with the current Solomon’s tale of occult dealings.  

Mammon shot Lucifer a look, and the firstborn nodded.  It appeared that he had made the same observation.  He stepped forward.

“Solomon, do you really expect us to believe that someone as perverse as you claim to be could be remembered so admirably in the Bible?  The words written in there echo Father’s thoughts verbatim, and there is no way that someone as obsessed with purity and light as He is could approve of your dark actions,” inquired Lucifer with a raised eyebrow.

Solomon chuckled in amusement but gave no reply.

Lucky for them, he didn’t have to, for Satan’s eyes lit up as he pieced the two shards of information together.  “You wanted to be remembered as a proper and perfect king for millennia to come, so you went in and removed all traces of your dealings with the occult from Father’s omniscience.  Because it’s all that Father knows, your memory in history now consists only of your good deeds.”

“And one bad one for realism,” added Solomon.  “Everyone makes mistakes, you know.  I can’t have humanity believing that living a perfect life is attainable, no matter what your Father says.”

Mammon felt as if his head was starting to spin with all this new information. 

He realized … if Solomon revealed that the process of removing information from their Father’s omniscience was easy, then perhaps he could use it as an excellent business opportunity.  Who wouldn’t pay gobs of money to have their past mistakes wiped completely from the Almighty’s knowledge?

But maybe that was going too far … 

Nevertheless, Mammon still had to ask, “So how’d ya do it, anyway?  Remove stuff from Father’s memory ‘n’ all?”

He could hear the irritating smile on the sorcerer’s face as he replied, “I’m not sure if I should tell you.”

To his surprise, it was Asmo who yanked the phone upward and yelled, “Solomon, don’t make me spank you—and not in the fun way, either!  That kind of information is the kind we need to go back home to the Devildom.  I can’t stay here in this stupid Human World for much longer!  We’re poor, and I have to share a bathroom—a bathroom—with these barbarians!”

Solomon sighed.  “Calm down, Asmo.  Fine, I’ll explain, but I doubt it’ll help you as much as you think.”

Lucifer gestured for the other five brothers to inch closer to the speaker, and Satan whipped out a notepad and pen from his pocket to write notes, as Solomon began, “Your Father is only as powerful as He is because He possesses three things that make Him so—His omnipotence, which means He has the power to do anything; His omnipresence, which means He can be anywhere at any time, and finally, His omniscience, which means He knows all.  Your Father has access to these three attributes of Himself at all times, but that doesn’t mean He uses them constantly—”

“Because He thinks that it takes the fun out of things—yes, we know that, Solomon,” interrupted Lucifer impatiently.  

Solomon coughed.  “Er—well, okay, then.  Anyway, these three attributes are considered separate from God Himself, as in, they have a separate location in His mind than His regular thoughts.  All you have to do is find a way to transport yourself directly into God’s mind where the three attributes are located, find the omniscience attribute, and then alter the information found within it.”

The seven brothers stared at each other in disbelief, before Levi moaned, “Oh, that’s all? You just have to teleport yourself into the mind of an OP deity?  Piece of cake.”

Satan snapped his fingers.  “Wait, since this feat appears to be so difficult to achieve, that should help us, since I’m assuming only a few people could execute it.  With such a small pool of potential suspects, we should easily be able to discern who was the one who removed the information regarding the Devildom’s destruction and Diavolo’s whereabouts from Father’s memory.”

“You’re right—but I wasn’t finished,” said Solomon, eliciting a chorus of groans from the demons.  “Teleporting into your Father’s mind is difficult enough, and even if you do, you’d instantly be marked as an intruder, because since everyone’s power pales in comparison to your Father’s, His mind can instantly recognize when something weaker enters it.  Imagine you have a soft lump of clay and somehow a stone gets mixed into it.  When you touch the clay, it’s easy to distinguish the stone because it feels so different from the malleable clay that surrounds it—that’s how it’s like in God’s mind.  Anyone that enters it immediately stands out because everything else in His mind is so powerful.”

Belphegor yawned.  “Do you have a point?”

“Yes.  The only way to blend into His mind undetected is if you yourself are powerful and combine your power with others who are just as powerful; that way you generate enough power so that you can not only cast a spell to enter God’s mind but also so that you remain unexposed in it.  I find the best combination of beings to combine powers with are angels and demons—at least one of each.  Somehow the potency of this combination is unprecedented.”  Solomon cleared his throat.  “Does that answer all your questions?”

Mammon scratched his head.  Powerful angels and demons were in abundance in both the Celestial Realm and the Devildom … that didn’t necessarily narrow down their number of suspects.  “Was it s'posed to?”

Solomon laughed.  “I guess not.  I told you me telling you things wouldn’t help as much as you think.”

The brothers exchanged irritated glances, before Lucifer, massaging his forehead, grumbled, “I suppose it’s better than nothing.  You’re dismissed, Solomon—” He ignored the protesting sorcerer as he clicked off the landline and turned toward Satan.  “Start making a list of all the powerful angels and demons back home and in the Celestial Realm.” 

Satan grumbled very loudly, but obeyed without any other protest, as Mammon asked, “How’s that gonna help?  It’s not like we got a gauge that tells us what a powerful angel or demon is.”

“Yeah, calling Solomon was one of the most useless side quests I’ve ever done,” said Leviathan.

“Hush, you two,” scolded Lucifer, staring intently at Satan, who was voraciously making his list.  “I can already see the gears turning in his head.  If any one of us can figure this out, it’s Satan.”

Satan’s head whipped up at his words, a fire in his eyes.  “I see how it is—stick all the work on the middle child .”  

Before anyone could retaliate, a sound echoed through the house.  It sounded strange, like someone had rung a bell, and Mammon had to stop himself from instinctively leaping into Levi’s arms—which he considered to be very proactive of himself, for the thirdborn had a nasty habit of hurling Mammon into the ground whenever he did so.

The brothers, who had fallen silent at the sound, shrugged as a unit when they couldn’t discern where the noise was coming from, before Lucifer put his hand on his forehead and addressed Satan again, saying, “If that’s how you wish to see it, then—”  He was interrupted once more by the ringing sound.  “What in Father’s name is that?”

“Almost sounds like a cowbell,” mumbled Belphie.

Leviathan’s eyes lit up.  “Wait—I’ve got it!  I’ve heard this sound about a thousand times in What To Do When A Big-Tiddy Anime Girl Is At Your Door But You’re Too Afraid to Let Her In Because She’s Glowing The Colors of the Entire Electromagnetic Spectrum.  It’s one of those Human World doorbells!”

“Doesn’t sound like any doorbell I’ve ever heard,” Mammon said.  Didn’t all doorbells sound like the screaming of ten thousand souls trapped in a burning abyss?  Their doorbell in the House of Lamentation certainly had.

Lucifer gestured toward the fifthborn.  “Asmo, you go check the door.”

“Me?  Are you crazy?  What if it’s a murderer or something?  They’ll take one look at me and be so jealous of my beauty that they’ll kill me on sight!”

“In that case, you definitely should go.  Take Mammon with you, too.”

“The Great Mammon resents ya, Lucifer, for that!”  Mammon replied, glaring daggers at his elder brother as he walked toward the door, a sulking Asmo in tow. 

As they neared the door, the bell sound rang through the house again, and the sheer volume there led Mammon to conclude that Levi was right—the sound definitely was the doorbell.  He yanked open the door, and immediately upon seeing who was behind it, slammed it closed.

He ignored the injured “Hey!” that came from the other side as he yelled toward his brothers, “Call Animal Control!”

Asmo laughed.  “Don’t call Animal Control on the cute little chihuahua.”  He turned toward the door and opened it, greeting the guest with a “Hello there, Luke.”

The young angel let out a very offended sniff, before walking through the threshold, pulling behind him a droll little white wagon.  “Don’t expect me to entertain the company of demons for very long, but Simeon said I should deliver these things to you.”  He gestured toward the parcels that almost overflowed out of the wagon bed.  

Mammon’s eyes lit up at the packages.  “Whaddaya got for me?”

Luke, who seemed to not have forgiven the secondborn for slamming the door in his face said, “Your box is at the bottom.”  Quietly, he muttered, “Hopefully, it’s all smushed by now.”

Before Mammon could snark a reply, his other brothers walked into the hall.

“Ah, welcome, Luke,” greeted Satan, nodding at the angel.  “I take it that those packages are for us?”

“Please tell me there’s a gaming console or some manga in there,” begged Leviathan, yanking a hand through his hair.  “The laptop we’ve got now can barely stream any anime and forget downloading any games—the thing’s way too slow.”

Luke’s eyes widened in disgust at Levi’s suggestion.  “O—of course, there isn’t!  The stuff Simeon gave me is all useful stuff.”  He began to unload the boxes off of the wagon, handing each brother a package with their name on it.  “I know Simeon said everything would arrive later in the week, but things went faster than expected, so.”

Mammon grumbled when his parcel, indeed, was all scrunched and squished at the edges.  Inside the bundle was a driving license, a mobile device that was creatively called “iPhone,” and various boring papers that were supposed to be bank statements (he almost vomited at the sight of them) and other official documents.  

Mammon gulped as he shuffled the contents together; seeing them made him realize that this was all real.  His brothers and he were really going to be living in the Human World, posed as humans, for Father-knows-how-long.

He could feel the bile rise in his throat, but he choked it down and shook his head.  What kind of demon was nervous about living with humans?  After all, one of his most favorite beings in all three worlds was a human, weren’t they?

Before he could ponder anymore, Beel gestured toward the last box in the wagon.  It was plain and unmarked and smelled of sweetness and love and joy and other generally unpleasant things for demons.  Nevertheless, it made all of their mouths water.  “What’s that?”

Luke blushed as he gently picked up the box and held it out.  “It’s—it’s not like I—I baked Heavenly Peace Petit Fours for you demons as a housewarming gift or anything!  I just happened to be making them for Michael and had some extra!”

Beel snatched the box out of his hands and immediately began chowing down on the delicate confections.  He pat Luke on the head gently mid-bite.  “Good doggy.”

Mammon could barely contain his laughter as Luke’s face turned a shade akin to the strawberry jam he’d layered between the petit fours and sputtered, “I—I am not a dog!”

“Shh, now, don’t tease him so much,” Lucifer chided, although a small smirk had formed on his lips, as well.  “We need him to answer a few questions, now, don’t we?”

Mammon raised an eyebrow.  “We do?”

He didn’t like the look on Lucifer’s face as the eldest bent low to reach eye level with the young angel, whose eyes widened in something that seemed to be a cross between indignation and terror.  

“Tell me, Luke,” demanded Lucifer, his voice low and as smooth as honey, “what you and Father and the other angels have to say about the Celestial Realm Cellular Service and Internet Provider?”  His eyes flashed red and Luke stumbled backward, dropping the handle on his wagon.  

“I—I’m not supposed to tell you,” gulped Luke.  The obstinacy drained out of his eyes and was replaced with pure, unadulterated fear as the eldest bared down on him.  “Anyone who’s not an angel isn't supposed to know that.”

Lucifer laughed, a menacing sound.  He inched closer, “Ah, but you’ll tell us, right?”

Mammon normally didn’t mind when Lucifer went full-demon on people, but … come on, Luke couldn’t have been more than ten in angel years … he was just a kid.  He put a hand gingerly on his brother’s shoulder.  “Yo, calm down.”

Lucifer whirled toward him, and Mammon’s heart sank in pity.  Beneath the glowing vermillion eyes, he could see it all.  

Fatigue.  

Desperation.  

Disappointment.  

Shame. 

He understood.

In just a short period of time, Lucifer had lost his home and his beloved friend, was forced to bow to the aid of a realm that had abandoned him and so he despised, and was made to live in a place that was far inferior from what he was used to.  Solomon had been their only lead, and he had proven to not be much help.  Their only respite at this point was to get this little angel to divulge the only other information that they could hope to have.

Mammon sighed and pushed Lucifer aside—a dangerous move, he knew.  “Let me do it.”  

Lucky for him, Beel and Asmo were already restraining their elder brother as they tried to calm him down.  He turned to Luke.  “Look, chihuahua, ya really think we’re gonna feel comfortable knowin’ the Celestial Realm is spyin’ on us with that little phone company of theirs?”

Luke wrinkled his nose.  “Spying on you?  Why would anyone want to spy on a bunch of demons?”

 “Why else would the Celestial Realm immediately make us use their cell service and internet provider?” argued Levi.

“Well, I guess you demons wouldn’t know this, since it was implemented after you guys left," explained Luke, "but the Celestial Realm Cellular Service and Internet Provider—we call it CRCSIP, by the way—is one of the many Celestial Realm-owned companies throughout the world—”

“So I was right,” Mammon interrupted, “the Celestial Realm is goin’ capitalist.”

Luke fervently shook his head.  “No, it’s not.  All companies owned by the Celestial Realm are there for angels and angels only.  They’re to be used free of charge for any celestial being since angels who are residing down on Earth are usually Guardian Angels who still need to purchase things for themselves but don’t work human jobs and therefore don’t have any human money.”  He kicked the ground.  “Father put you guys on one of the CRCSIP’s plans just as another way to help you out.”

Lucifer, who had calmed down a bit and now was flushed with embarrassment at his actions, coughed and said, “Unacceptable.  We never asked for this.”

“We’ll be takin’ the free stuff, though!” Mammon chirped.  

Leviathan ran a hand through his hair.  “All that doesn’t necessarily mean we still can’t be spied on.”

The angel grit his teeth.  “For the last time, who the heck would wanna spy on a bunch of demons?”

“The same person who’d destroy the Devildom with Hellfire and possibly abduct Diavolo and remove information from Father's omniscience,” Satan shot back.  He drew out his notepad and pointed to the column where he had been printing powerful angel names.  “Do any of these angels have access to any of the inner workings of the CRCSIP?”

Luke peered at the list for a moment.  “I’m just a Junior Guardian, so I don’t know much, but I’m guessing that the only one with clearance to the records and information like that would be … oh yes, he’s on the list—Michael.”

Lucifer blanched.  “Michael?”

[mrlnsfrt]

Turning the Hearts of The Fathers

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the LORD comes. And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.” - Malachi 4:5-6 ESV

I know that many interpret this text to mean that Elijah will once again walk the earth before the end of times. However, texts like, Luke 1:17, and Matthew 11:14; 17:12-13 clearly indicate that John the Baptist fulfilled this prophecy with regards to preparing the way for the earthly ministry of Jesus. With this in mind, I find it perfectly appropriate to interpret this prophecy found in Malachi 5:5-6 to God’s people who are expecting Jesus to come again. I don’t think it is difficult to believe that there will be an ultimate fulfillment of this prophecy before the second coming of Jesus. I believe that we, God’s followers, are called to go out in the power and spirit of Elijah and proclaim God’s message to the world. I would say this goes hand in hand with the three angelic messages of Revelation 14:6-12. There is a tendency to make Revelation about the distant future, or the middle east, but I believe that it applies to our lives today. Angels are messengers, and we are God’s messengers, called to proclaim the eternal gospel to everyone!

Then I saw another angel flying in the midst of heaven, having the everlasting gospel to preach to those who dwell on the earth—to every nation, tribe, tongue, and people— saying with a loud voice, “Fear God and give glory to Him, for the hour of His judgment has come; and worship Him who made heaven and earth, the sea and springs of water.” - Revelation 14:6-7 NKJV

I find that this message is one that helps us remain focused on our mission, to proclaim the gospel. It is also a message that promotes unity since the message has to go to every nation, tribe, tongue, and people. It also provides unity because it reminds us that God created us, and as His creatures we are of equal value, not to mention that the gospel is all about Jesus’ death for our sins, making our lives of infinite value. If we focus on our role as messengers of God to proclaim the gospel to the whole world it would destroy racism.

On a side note, I just learned that the entire title of Darwin’s Origin of Species is actually

On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life.

Does that title make you a little uncomfortable in light of current events? Does the idea of a favored race make you uncomfortable? It should. So many christians have turned their back on the biblical account of creation, and now they want to claim how we are all created in God’s image. How can you embrace evolution and want to quote Genesis 1:27.

God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them. - Genesis 1:27 NET Bible

Back to my main line of thought. We ought to busy ourselves with the prophetic proclamation of the gospel in the context of God as our creator and Jesus as our redeemer and the soon return of Jesus in power and glory! Of course, we can only do this through the power of the Holy Spirit. On this post, however, I want to focus on the words of Malachi 4:6

And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.” - Malachi 4:5 ESV

I have been reading about privilege and systemic racism and trying to better understand the history and the forces at play in our current situation here in the United States. I am aware that this is a complex issue and I am not going to address it now. But one point that I read and heard repeatedly is how detrimental the absence of a father is for children. Being reminded of this is what got me thinking about this passage. Could it be that part of proclaiming the gospel and preparing the world for the second coming of Jesus involves encouraging fathers to be involved in the lives of his children? I know you can read the text as a general calling for parents, but in light of Father’s Day being this Sunday I would like to take this opportunity to address fathers specifically. I don’t want anyone to feel left out, and much of what I will say should be beneficial for all to consider, but I will repeatedly address fathers on this post and I hope you can be understanding.

God as a Father

The Bible repeatedly refers to God as Father.

But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. - Isaiah 64:8 ESV

Fathers.

Think about this.

The way you treat your daughter, the way you treat your son, will shape how they view and relate to God. If you forget everything else I write remember this point. This is a massive responsibility!

I had the opportunity to listen to William Paul Young, the author of The Shack, and he shared how it took him a long time (30+ years? I don’t remember exactly) to wipe the face of his father off of the face of God. That hit me hard. I was not a father at the time, I was a student. That was the first time that I realized the incredible responsibility fathers have. When a father is abusive or absent, it may take the child decades to learn to see God as loving and involved.

The Importance of Fathers

Fathers do not only have a significant impact on how their sons and daughters view and relate to God. Fathers play an extremely important role in a child’s well-being and success. 

Statistics suggest that children in father-absent homes are more likely to be poor. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 44% of children in mother-only families were living in poverty, compared to only 12% of children living in a household headed by a married couple.

The U.S. Department of Health has reported similar statistics that connect absent fathers with poverty. In a 2012 report, they found that children living in female-headed households with no spouse present had a poverty rate of 47.6%, over 4 times the rate of married-couple families. (source)

There is no question that fathers do play an important part in their children's lives: the majority of studies affirm that an involved father can play a crucial role, particularly in the cognitive, behavioral, and general health and well-being areas of a child's life; having a positive male role model helps an adolescent boy develop positive gender-role characteristics; adolescent girls are more likely to form positive opinions of men and are better able to relate to them when parented by an involved father; it is generally accepted, under most circumstances, that a father's presence and involvement can be as crucial to a child's healthy development as a mother's; and experiencing validation of their importance in the general parenting literature has made fathers much more conscious of their value, which, in turn, leads to their greater desire to be involved. - Psychology Today

Fathers, you have the power to grant to your children “privilege” by being present and involved in the lives of your children. My goal here is not to discourage families where the father is absent, but to encourage all the fathers who are reading to become more involved in the lives of their children. If you are thinking about becoming a father, think through this carefully. If you are going to do it, be prepared to give it your all.

Responsibility

‘The fathers have eaten sour grapes, And the children’s teeth are set on edge.’ - Ancient Proverb quoted in Jeremiah 31:29

The book of Jeremiah quotes an ancient proverb about fathers eating sour grapes and the children being born with sensitive teeth. Jeremiah is actually arguing against this proverb by stating that each person will die for their own iniquity and not that of their father (parents). But I find this to be an interesting proverb. Though God does not hold the sins of our parents against us, we do suffer because of the sins of our parents.

Now the Lord descended in the cloud and stood with him there, and proclaimed the name of the Lord. And the Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children’s children to the third and the fourth generation.” - Exodus 34:5-7 NKJV

God is able and willing to forgive, but your sinful behavior affects those around you. The sinful behavior of parents affects the next generations. The sinful behavior of fathers causes children to suffer. A father who chooses to abuse alcohol, to be violent, to lie, cheat, and steal, to do drugs, etc. are dooming their kids to a much more difficult life.

Here is my take on this. This is my opinion. But I believe that mother’s day is much more popular than father’s day because, even though mothers are not more perfect than fathers, they tend to stick around more often. There are always exceptions, I know. I had a whole post on mothers and the guilt they constantly feel. Mothers are not born better at raising children, they often just get more practice. I believe father’s day is not as popular because, as a rule, fathers are not as present.

With this in mind, this is my appeal to fathers. Fathers, I am not asking you to be perfect. I am not asking you to always know what to do. I am not asking you to make a ton of money. I am asking you to be present. Yes, work, yes, have a job, yes have a hobby, but make your presence in your family a priority. Overworking does not excuse your absence. Your kids prefer to have you than more money. Work enough, keep a job, put in your hours, but also put in your hours with your kids. Support the mother of your kids.

Remember earlier when I mentioned Genesis and creation as the best argument for equality and dignity of every human being. The same book establishes marriage and the family. Same God. You really should not cherry-pick. Don’t mention God as creator if you are going to reject His plans for the family. God created you and He knows that a family with a father and a mother is ideal. Be there for your wife. Be there for your children. You don’t have to be perfect. Just be present.

I don’t want to beat anyone up with the Bible. I don’t want to heap guilt over anyone’s head. But I do want to encourage every father who is reading to make an effort to be more present.

But you might argue that you’re having to work extra hard. Maybe you’re starting your own business. Maybe you’re extra busy due to COVID-19, maybe you’re working full time and taking classes online. If you are struggling to find time to invest in your kids I have good news for you. And this might surprise you, but it’s also found in Genesis. Genesis 1-2 presents us not only God as our creator and provider, not only does it give us the marriage of one man and one woman as God’s ideal for those who want to have a family, it also gives us the Sabbath. God gave us a day, 24hrs, to rest from all our labor and to invest in our relationships. Maybe because of your schedule or current condition you have limited time to spend with your kids during the week. Take advantage of the Sabbath. Spend time with your kids, teach them about God, share stories of what God has done for you. Tell your kids about what it was like when you were growing up. Tell them about how you overcame challenges and difficulties. Play with your kids, wrestle, laugh together, read together, tell jokes.

Be present.

You can do this. And you will be happier for it. Realizing that you are a role model for your children will motivate you to make better decisions. As a father you extra motivation to be kind, to listen, to play, to exercise, to eat healthily, and to avoid harmful substances and dangerous behavior. God wants to help you be a better father. There is every reason under the sun for you to become a better father.

Jesus is coming soon. Part of our mission as we wait for His return is to go out in the spirit and power of Elijah and turn the hearts of the fathers to their children. I hope you can join me in this mission.

For further reading:

Psychology today collection of articles on the power of Dads https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/collections/201206/the-power-dads

The Art of Manliness post On the Importance of Fathers https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/the-importance-of-fathers-according-to-science/

Father Absence Harms Children https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic