#it's like 4am so this is from a couple months ago | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ridingthatd · 1 year ago

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⊹ ₊ ˚𓂃 BIPLOAR NANAMI

⊹ ₊ ˚𓂃 nanamixfem!reader, nsfw, heavy smut, aggressive nanami, daddy nanami , nanami being nasty

nanami was the sweetest boyfriend anyone could ask for. he would treat you with so much gentility. affection. love.

nanami was really the definition of a gentleman. gentle kisses on your forehead. long big arms folding you close to his chest. muttering nothing but sweet things. breakfast made by him, helping you serve dinner then gently place you on his huge thighs teasingly biting the sensitive part of your neck ripping a sweet giggle out of you. giving you massages to your feet after a long day of wearing heels- kissing the top of your feet while he gently rub the soreness out of it.

nanami was such a man, the aura around him screamed musculanity. muscles surrounded every inch of his body, you weren't really shocked by that since you would wake up to grunting and groaning sounds every morning at 4am- sounds coming from your man as he do his push ups shirtless, biceps flexing each time he goes up-down. up-down. it was such a drooling sight that it had your pussy clenching everytime.

as if nanami could feel your eyes on him. he would stop- taking in a deep breath then slowly get up to take a glance at you. you slowly trail your eyes from the sweat that's dripping from his forehead. to his biceps just to slide across his abs to the delicious v line. grey pants hanging lowly against his hips- failing to hide his boxer the same boxer that's hiding the thick, juicy cock, outlined in his grey pants that's already hard from the attention you're giving him.

"hm" nanami hummed lowly while making his way towards you, trailing his hands under the cover of the blanket just to get ahold of your thighs, squeeze them. he has made it his daily routine to have his special- what he calls after work out protein from you every morning. you slowly spread your legs for him to crawl in, he didn't have to remove any clothes from your gorgeous body- because you were already bared and naked for him. only wearing a shirt- his shirt since nanami made it clear that he doesn't like his food to be enveloped.

nanami has always had a quite liking to your breast- he always manage to give them extra attention no matter where you are or what you are doing.

he says it restore his energy- especially after a long exhausting day at work, as soon as he opens the door of the apartment you both share- he walks straight to where you are cooking dinner at the kitchen, he gently lifts you up, and place you on the counter- you just sit there running your finger tips through his hair smoothing it out. he lifts whatever shirt you're wearing and immediately lash into your nipples letting out a groan as if he was a starved man and your nipples was his first meal.

nanami might be your sweet boyfriend. but deep inside you knew there's a side- maybe sides of him, he doesn't wanna show you. after all you have only been together for a few months.

at first you never questioned that. you never questioned the sweetness of your boyfriend. you never questioned the gentleness of your boyfriend.

you wake up at 4am as always but this time- it wasn't because of your boyfriend. it was because of the intense pain you're feeling in your belly- of course it's your period cramps. you groan and burry your head into your pillow- to in pain to notice that nanami has already made his way towards you- crawling into the bed ready to take his protein.

he gently rub your feets giving you a hint to spread your legs- and let him lap on your sweet pink pussy.

"not today nanami, im on my period" you tiredly mumble, to exhaust.

nanami raise an eyebrow up "and? i don't mind licking your blood soaked pussy- it's still a natural fluid, coming from your little pussy that I wanna drink on" he horsely say- clearly indicating that he also just woke up a couple minutes ago.

"ew no nanami that's gross" you say pushing his hands away with your feets- little did you know that this action activated a side of nanami that you have never experienced.

"so you're denying me from having my pussy?" nanami says through clenched teeth, clearly not happy that you denied him what's his.

you frown caught of guard by the tone of his voice- you have never seen nanami mad or displeased at you before. he's always so gentle and understanding about everything when it comes to you.

you hold your face up from your pillow taking a look at him- standing at the edge of the bed with a blank expression on his face that you can't seem to read.

"I asked you a question y/n. are you denying me from what's mine?" he says sternly as if the next thing you say might be the death of you.

yet you still playfully roll your eyes at him and bring your face back into your pillow mumbling a "it's my pussy, not yours"

it goes silent for a moment you assumed that your boyfriend went to the bathroom to get ready for his work- but oh you were dead wrong.

you let out a gasp as you feel a strong hand firmly hold your hair, pulling your face out the pillow- it wasn't strong enough to hurt but it was sure enough to sting.

your head was turned around to face no one other then nanamis face.

"nanami-" you were cut off by your boyfriend tsking at you.

"I see now what it is- do I have to teach my little baby a lesson? make sure she knows that this pussy is very much mine?" you stare at him utterly confused- scared because that's completely off for nanami.

"i-" again you were cut off by him shushing you while bringing your face closer to his by your hair.

"you don't utter a word out of this pretty mouth of yours if you don't want daddy getting more mad at you baby" for some reason the insanity in his face make your pussy throb- you have never thought you would see nanami this way- viens popping out of his hands and neck, hair slightly messy, while his scary-angry eyes are staring at you like they wanna devour you.

you were used to nanami soft gaze at you but this- this was completely new. you were snapped back to him when you felt an aggressive pull at your hair that made you groan out.

"do you understand?" nanami spit out, you node eagerly clenching your thighs together- turned on by whatever is happening right now.

and nanami seems to notice that "aw my little baby's pussy is needy for me?" he aws at your pussy as if he's speaking to a baby- he realise your hair out of his grip and instead he holds both of your legs into his shoulder- holding your lower half body up in the air close to his face.

your shirt goes down from gravity exposing you fully- you're basically naked right now in front of his hungry eyes. pussy and ass so close to his face you can feel his warm breath against your pussy.

he groans out as he slowly pulls out your tampon and throw it into the trashcan next to your bed- your mind is to hazy and drung off pleasure to even care about what he just did.

you can feel his hand trailing up your stomach till it reachs your breast and he tugs hard on your nipple ripping a moan out of you- you arch your pussy into his face desperate for something- anything.

he trails his nose up to your pussy down to your ass sniffing everywhere- claiming what's his- then he lashes into your pussy his tongue is restless. lapping at every bit of you- to much to much you think. you couldn't help letting out a sniffle from how sensitive you're because of your period.

"is my baby sensitive?" he groans out trailing his tongue to your ass- as his eyes role behind his head.

you throw your head back and moan out at the ceiling- clearly to much for you to even form a sentence.

"mhm it's okay. daddy is gonna make you coat his cock with your blood and juice first before letting you cum" he says as he free his cock out, stroaking it hard as he lean in- "open your mouth for me baby" he whispers and you obey without hesitation.

nanami purse his lips and spit in your mouth, warm, wet spit hit your tongue and you swallow it all- nanami let out a whimper at the sight clearly going insane over this.

he slowly line up his cock on your puffy pink pussy, sliding in so fast. so hard. your pussy immediately squeeze around his dick like you're tryna strangel him. nanami couldn't help taking your little suck-covered feets close to his face and groan out into them. the little gasps and mewls that escape your puffy lips make nanamis mouth dry. He begins fucking his hips up.

nanami curses, head tipping back, Every little curl and twitch of your toes, every feel of your curved arch has him dizzy with need. He feels his blood hot beneath his skin, abdomen tightening with an overwhelming lust.

"fuck," he growls, fucking you sloppy and he almost can't recognize himself. It's exhilarating. "faster, baby, shit—faster. I'm almost there, just a bit—nngh—a bit more."

his words come out in heavy pants, but you rapidly nod along like his perfect girl. You squeeze around his dick as you cum,eyes rolling and he just watches himself slide in you, cursing and grunting until the tension that's built inside of him completely snaps, he pulls out and he comes with a long moan. his come spurts up, more than usual and landing on your toes and top of your feet.

nanami thinks he blacks out for a few seconds.

"nanami" you suddenly breath out, making him to open his eyes just for them to turn dark as he watchs you slowly swiping your finger on your cum covered socks- covered with his cum, before you place it inside of your mouth, so sweetly sucking it, nanami groans, his cock is already hard again, ready to splash you with his cum again.

and suddenly he has the urge to suck his juices off from your sock. So he does. lightly grasping your ankle, kento ignores your little yelp as he licks from the bottom of your foot to your toes. your sock is soft against his tongue, pressed so close to your skin, and then kento tastes his own come. moaning, he takes your toes into his mouth, sucking the small digits and pressing the tip of his tongue in between.

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disneyprincemuke · 1 year ago

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oscar's girl * ls2

logan never thought he would meet the girl that broke oscar’s heart

pairings: logan sargeant x fem!reader

word count: 4.2k

notes: guys ive been writing this since 10pm girl it's mf 4am now please sue me i'm sorry this was a long wind up im sorry but dont worry i will be writing a part two HELL YEAHHHH

(logan's girl) // |(f1 masterlist)

oscar and logan, logan and oscar. that's how it's been since they had run into each other during a karting weekend in the uk a couple of years ago. oscar had approached him with a toothy grin and a packet of candy after seeing logan walk around by himself for weekends at a time.

maintaining the friendship isn't the easiest of feats: logan lives in south florida, while oscar lives on the opposite side of the globe in melbourne. they don't see each other for very long, and very often in a year. but, it always feels like no time has passed when they get together after months of separation.

but being apart for the majority of the year means the window they've got to keep an ongoing conversation is small. but their string of texts has always come in consistently every day, responses from the other flooding in the early hours of the morning and sometimes in the dead of the night.

that was, until, logan woke up one warm thursday morning to an empty and dry phone. he brushed it off, taking it that oscar just had a long day at school. perhaps too much had happened in the day to simply text at the end of the day. so he went to school as he usually did with his best friend in the back of his mind.

but one day turned into two, and suddenly he hadn't heard from oscar in almost a week.

logan had sent one follow-up text. a simple 'hey' to nudge oscar into a response. which did help, because him and oscar surprisingly texted for a short thirty-minute window before the australian called it quits on their conversation to get some sleep for the next school day.

until oscar goes radio silent again for the next three days. so, he goes to the one other person in oscar's life that he knows personally.

"hey mum," logan starts, walking into the kitchen hesitantly. he's been dancing around the idea of asking his mum for help to see if oscar's even still alive and has not been replaced by some clone that's somehow less chatty than the one he said goodbye to at the airport four months ago.

"yeah, baby?" his mother stands up from her prior hunched-over position at the fridge to smile at him. she opens her arms as he approaches her hesitantly, fiddling with his thumbs. "what's wrong?"

he hums, second-guessing his decision to bring his mother into the situation. perhaps oscar just no longer wants to be friends with him anymore? but if that were the case, oscar definitely would have said something to his face and he's just been quiet. "um, it's just oscar," he starts softly, dropping his gaze to his feet, "can you ask his mum if he's alright?"

"of course," she smiles, letting go of him. she walks around the kitchen counter to find her phone. "why, did something happen to him recently? break another wrist?"

logan shakes his head, pressing his lips together. "no, we haven't been talking as much as we used to. i'm just worried that something might have happened to him."

a blush creeps up his cheeks when his mother's lips pout as she tries to hide her smile. "aw, logan! that's very cute of you. and very thoughtful," she teases as she starts to type on her phone. "i'm texting his mum right now. you hang tight and i'll tell you when she gets up to text me, okay?"

"okay."

he tries not to linger around his mum's circle of personal space for very long, afraid to let on that he's more concerned than he should be for the status of his friendship. to combat the anxiety of potentially losing one of his best friends, he locks himself in his room and plays video games all afternoon.

he had been in the middle of a game in call of duty when his phone started to ring. he glances at from his position on his bed and perks up with oscar's picture taking over the screen of his phone.

he immediately pauses the game, tossing the controller to the side of his bed. he slides his finger across the screen to pick up the call and oscar, visibly tired, pops up on his screen with a small smile.

"hey! my mum just got off the phone with your mum," oscar whispers with a smile. "said you missed me, mate?"

"no, i was just concerned cause you've been off the grid for a while," logan scoffs with an eye roll. "i never said i missed you."

"well, i'm sorry for disappearing on you, mate," oscar drops his gaze and a small smile creeps up on his face. in the dim orange lighting of his bedroom in melbourne, logan can almost make out the redness coming through on oscar's cheeks. "there's a reason for that. it's not because i don't wanna be friends anymore. i've just been a little... preoccupied."

logan tilts his head. he rolls over to his stomach and holds the phone up to his face. "what do you mean? more preoccupied than usual?"

"yeah," oscar giggles. "i uh... i've got-" he clears his throat, the slight embarrassment getting the better of him. he lifts his eyes from his thighs and moves the phone slightly further away. "i got a girlfriend."

logan furrows his eyebrows, throwing his head back slightly in shock. "what?"

"yeah," oscar repeats with a hint of a giggle in his response. "i've been seeing her for a while. do you mind if i tell you about her a little bit?"

"really?" logan smiles, squinting an eye. truthfully, he's finding it a little bit hard to believe that oscar's suddenly got a girlfriend. they're literally always on the phone with one another, texting and updating one another on things that they've got no idea about in their day-to-day lives.

not once has oscar come up to him about a girl before, much less developing a crush on somebody. "this is a bit sudden, isn't it? like, where did this girl come from?"

"she's new," oscar smiles. "so, do you wanna know about her or not?"

"alright, fire away, lover boy."

they talk - no, oscar talks - for the next hour about the girl that's recently enrolled into his private school. all logan can do is giggle and smile with oscar at how their relationship had gone down.

even after oscar has hung up, logan still doesn't really know much about the girl he's spent the better part of the past hour talking about. oscar simply refers to her as 'my girl'.

the next time oscar and logan reunite in the uk is at the end of the year. their mothers made an effort to get flights close to one another, letting them run into each other at the mcdonald's in the airport unknowingly while getting food before heading to the hotel.

"dude!" logan cheers, smacking oscar on the shoulder roughly.

"huh?" the smaller boy ahead of him looks up from his phone, turning his head to be greeted by a familiar pair of green eyes. he immediately locks his phone and slips it into his back pocket as realisation slowly dawns on him. "logan!"

"too busy texting on your phone to even notice i was behind you the entire time," logan scoffs jokingly as a hand comes up to pat him on the shoulder.

oscar presses his lips together as a blush creeps up on his cheeks. "sorry. i was texting my girl!"

"my girl this, my girl that," logan rolls his eyes with a smile. "did she not come along with you?"

"no, mate. she's off for a holiday with her family," oscar shrugs, biting down on his lip.

for the rest of the trip, logan will often catch Oscar cheesing at his phone. it doesn't matter when or where: they could be in their hotel room watching a movie, on the track waiting for the race to start, or while they're having a casual chat before they go to bed.

one question haunts logan for the rest of their stay in the uk: who is this girl?

though, it seems that logan is never destined to meet this girl that his best friend spent an entire year gushing about. because at three in the morning on a random saturday in may, his phone buzzes with oscar's picture taking over his entire screen again.

"we broke up."

logan would stay up all morning with oscar that day, letting oscar choke back on tears for the next thirty minutes about the girl that simply packed her bags and moved halfway across the world from him. they would never speak of this day again, even after they both relocated to the uk together to start their junior career.

oscar never speaks of the girl he once devoted his entire self to, but logan often finds himself thinking of her whereabouts and how their relationship had changed oscar.

oscar never uttered the phrase ‘my girl’ when he started dating his long-time girlfriend, lily zneimer. now that they’re in f1 together, logan has at least gotten to know this girlfriend.

he is very well aware that she exists: he’s talked to and touched lily. but the question still lingers in the back of his mind about the unnamed girl, even years later.

the thought of her pops up randomly in his mind as he approaches the paddocks for his sophomore year in the sport. that was prompted by the sight of oscar also making his way into the paddocks slightly ahead of him.

“mate, i heard you’ve got a special guest in your side of the garage today,” oscar teases, stepping away from logan as he reaches out to tap his card into the reader.

“what? who told you that?” logan scoffs, passing through the gantries as he throws his head back in disbelief. “ugh, alex needs to shut his trap. i bet he told lando then lando told you.”

“no, your mum told my mum,” oscar laughs. he nudges his friend with his shoulder. “why? are you shy?”

“piss off.” logan giggles as he drops his head, shaking his head as he bites back a smile. “i’ll see you later, mate.”

“oh, i’ll see you later alright. i’ve got to see who’s making you blush like that,” the australian giggles, shoving him in the direction of the williams racing home.

logan chases his shoulder, managing to land a soft smack before he completely walks away. sure, logan had been seeing somebody for a while, and this weekend was the one he had singled out for you to come out and watch his race.

you were scheduled to come in about thirty minutes for now, about twenty minutes before he is supposed to disappear from the garage for an interview panel.

and he’s excited. this is his first time having his personal guest, who isn’t his mother or brother, in his side of the garage. sure, getting halfsies of alex’s girlfriend from the garage next to him is still something, but it’s just not the same.

so, he tries to pass the next thirty minutes as well as he can. and he does everything: he terrorises his team in the garage, then james sitting his office, then alex in his driver’s room.

still ten minutes left on the clock.

kinda early, but i’m here! :)

logan almost jumps out of his skin at the notification that pops up along with your name. he swallows back the excited scream as he runs down the stairs, pushing himself past alex and his girlfriend who were gathered downstairs with james.

logan swings the glass doors open, slumping his shoulders and feeling a wave of happiness in his chest when he sees you standing shyly by the stairs.

you look very cozy: wrapped in a dark puffer jacket and your bag barely hanging onto your shoulder. he almost wants to disappear with you into his driver’s room and cuddle all day. to hell with his commitments, even if it means fighting off his pr officer.

“hey, you!” logan beams, perking up as he jogs down the few steps to where you were. “you should have texted me when you reached the paddocks. i could have picked you up.”

immediately, he bends down to take your bag into his hands and then he pulls you in for a warm hug. “thanks for making it out this weekend.”

“of course. how can i decline a chance to watch you in your element?” you smile, leaning back slightly and wrapping your arms around him. “thank you for reserving a pass for me.”

“absolutely!” logan cheers, pulling away. “let me bring you inside and introduce you to the team. you don’t mind, right?”

“it’s my pleasure,” you smile.

he puts a hand on your back as he guides you up the racing home, pushing the door open and beckons for you to walk in before him.

“ah, lily, you were right! it’s neither his brother nor his mum that’s making a special appearance this weekend!” alex booms from deep inside the hospitality, throwing his arms in the air. “mr american man got a girlfriend over the winter break?”

“shut up, mate,” logan scowls, moving his hand up to hold your shoulder protecticely. “but, yes. this is… my girlfriend.”

he shyly looks down at you, catching your eye as you glance up at him. you’ve only recently gotten into a relationship with logan; fresh, only six weeks into the title.

“oh, it’s so nice to meet you,” lily steps away from alex’s grasp and holds a hand out to you, “i’m lily. welcome to the paddocks.”

“hi, i’m (y/n). it's so nice to finally meet you,” you smile, taking her hand. “and alex! logan talks about you guys really often. i’m a big fan.”

“oh, logan talks about me,” alex teases in a laugh, also extending his hand out to you. “good things only, i hope.”

“hey, i told you not to tell him that,” logan says through his teeth, giving you a warning stare with wide eyes.

“it’s my first time meeting him, babe,” you laugh to logan, taking his hand in yours to shake.

"oh, can i tell you about logan's antics last year in the paddocks?" alex asks you excitedly, hopping one step toward you.

"or," lily laughs, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend to steer him away from you, "let's let her settle down with logan. you can terrorise her after the day has ended, alex."

"aw, but i've got lists of embarrassing things about him," alex sighs with a frown, though he lets lily guide him away from the new couple. he cranes his neck and grins at you. "i will see you later! i'll prepare a list!"

"so we're avoiding him later," logan smiles at you, now guiding you towards the steps that would lead you to some privacy. "have you run into anyone yet? have you seen liam yet?"

you shake your head. "not yet. but i hope you'll bring me to him so that i can get to say hi? i haven't seen him since we bumped into them at disneyland in december."

"yeah, i know. he's been asking about you." he opens the door to his driver's room to let you in. "so, i've got to run for a bit. i've got an interview panel. it really shouldn't take too long. i'm sorry."

"sorry? what are you sorry for?" you giggle, taking a seat in the corner of the room. your eyes scan the small room, taking note of the endless shirts riddled with williams' logo hung in the corner.

"i don't wanna just leave you here by yourself," logan slumps his shoulders with a frown, resting his hands on his knees as he bends over to meet your eyes. "i feel bad."

"oh, i'll be okay." you wave off his concern and lean in, pressing a chase kiss to his lips. "just text me when you're done. i'll go downstairs and find lily and get to know her better."

"that's a good idea! you guys should really go around the paddocks. there's a concert somewhere too, make the best out of my pass, okay?" logan smiles, his hand cupping your chin. he brushes his thumb over your cheek as he towers over you. "text me if you get lost."

"i won't get lost," you smile, standing up from the seat. "i actually haven't had my coffee yet. do you know anywhere i can get a cup of coffee?"

"oh, lily should know where," logan hums, tapping his bottom lip as he heads for his door. "let me get her for you."

"logan." the firmness in your voice stops logan in his tracks, turning around with curious eyes. "i can find lily on my own. i'll be okay - i'll see you later."

"are you sure? i just feel bad that i'll leave you all by yourself," logan whispers, leaning in to kiss your cheek. "i'll miss you."

"i'll miss you too. but you've got a job to do," you giggle, walking out of his room with your hands wrapped around his arm. "i won't disappear. i'll meet you wherever when you're done. just text me."

"fine."

so logan goes and does his media commitments with alex in tow. and lily clearly had the same idea as you, meeting you at the front doors as alex walked away with logan.

"logan mentioned you were looking for coffee?" lily beams, quickly finding herself by your side as she leads you around the paddocks. "i know the best racing home to get a good cup of, but we might have to sneak in."

"sneak in?" you tilt your head. "is that even allowed?"

"yeah, carmen will get us in! mercedes has got the best cup of coffee to offer around here," lily giggles. "and, you should meet the rest of the girls. what are you going to do for the rest of the evening while the boys are out doing their jobs?"

"i suppose you're right," you shrug with a small smile. "but it's my first time here. should i really be caught sneaking into another team's home?"

"ah, you're with me," lily smiles. "i've got you."

so you actually get your cup of coffee in the back of the mercedes' racing home, now finding yourself huddled together with carmen and lily. they had asked you how you had come to meet logan, especially after the driver had spent most of it behind closed doors and rarely showed himself to the cameras.

it was a pretty simple story. you had been on vacation in new york with a group of your friends, minding your business in the corner of a crowded bar. truthfully, you didn't even want to be there, but it was your best friend's birthday trip. you couldn't say no even if you insisted.

logan had caught sight of you pretending to drink shots your friends were handing you towards the end of the night. eventually, you wound up with about six filled shot glasses hiding behind you, desperately hidden from your friend's prying eyes.

he thought it was funny, and had offered to finish them for you. in exchange for a promise that they were not laced with poison.

you had hit it off, and logan asked you out on a date. while you were unfortunately flying off to another state in a week, he had taken up the challenge and took you out on a date the very next night in the heart of new york city.

the rest is history, as they say.

"does logan actually ever say no to free alcohol?" carmen jokes, blowing into her cup of hot coffee. "wait! there's a concert happening not too far from here. do you guys know who's performing?"

"it should be on the race's instagram page," lily sighs, swiftly taking her phone out of her pocket. "but aren't the guys finishing up their interviews by now?"

"it's a long weekend. would they really notice if we weren't here for one break that they have?" carmen points out knowingly with a smile. "and we've got to show her," carmen gestures towards you, "around. is this your first race weekend?"

you nod shyly, taking a sip from your coffee. "but it's okay, really! don't go out of the way for me."

"that's silly." lily runs a hand through her hair and sighs, resting a hand on her hip. "okay, so, let's meet the guys near the pit building. when they're called in for their driver's briefing, we make a run for the concert area, okay?"

"that sounds like a much better compromise." carmen turns to you with a playful smile. "we will teach you how to make the most out of logan's race pass. you're going to have so much fun with us."

"after the concert, we'll head upstairs to the viewing pen and get a couple of drinks," lily smiles. she glances down at her phone. "oh, seems like they're already done. you guys wanna head there together?"

"sure!"

you start backpedalling from your position, ready to follow the two veteran paddock enjoyers. that seemed like a good idea until your back collides with something - someone - and suddenly you've got mildly hot coffee all over your top.

this is the one time you regret unzipping your jacket to let a bit of the cold in.

"i'm so sorry."

"it's fine," you say with a soft whine, turning around before being flashed by a bright orange jacket and a pair of brown eyes. "it's..." you tilt your head. "do i know you from somewhere?"

the shape of his polite smile and the way his brown eyes look into you are all very familiar. but you just can't quite place a finger on it.

perhaps it's because he looks a lot different from the last time you saw him. you were a wee fourteen-year-old the last time you had seen him before you were forced to pack your bags and move away because of your dad's job.

but, as a kid, you generally did a lot of moving around because of that said job. now you're just trying to single him out by geographic location from the many friends you've made and lost contact with over the years.

"(y/n)?" oscar's eyebrows shoot up, your name coated thickly with an australian accent as his hand lingers on your shoulder.

"oh, you two know each other?" lily excitedly asks, looking between the two younger individuals.

who seem to be very caught up in their unexpected reunion. you'd be shocked too if the girl you had thought was the love of your life shows up at your big boy job with your colleagues' girlfriends with a mercerdes coffee cup in hand.

"yeah, we uh," oscar takes a step away from you and puts his hands in the pockets of his team jacket, "we used to go to school together. in melbourne."

"right," you sigh in relief, finally being able to place him in a particular timeline of your life. you finally remember him: oscar piastri, the school heartthrob with a charming smile and friendly eyes. he had even asked you to be his girlfriend at some point, dating for the better part of a year before you had to leave melbourne with your family. "oscar, right? i'm sorry, my memory's a little bit hazy."

"no, yeah," oscar agrees, scanning you head to toe. "it's been... how long has it been since we last saw each other?"

"very long. it's been years since i left melbourne." you lower your cup and readjust your jacket, trying to hide the prominent wet patch of coffee at the collar of your inner shirt.

but the longer you stare at him, the more the memories come rushing back to the time you spent with the best friend you had made in melbourne for those years. you can vividly remember oscar picking you out in pe to be his teammate, sneaking out of homeroom to grab a juice pack together right down the hall.

you had completely forgotten the tears you shed that day you had to leave melbourne. you swore that you would keep in contact with the warmest brown eyes your eyes have ever seen, but you had simply gotten too busy settling into the new environment that had been thrown at you.

before you knew it, you had dropped your phone into the lake when you were out with your friends and you lost oscar's phone number. you never found a way to reconnect with him, and eventually, he had joined the long list of friends that you had forgotten about.

"i," oscar laughs, "what are you doing here in the paddocks? are you friends with them?"

"no," you straighten your back with a polite smile, "i'm with somebody - logan."

and oscar's never wanted to ever tear apart the paddocks' walls with his own hands before. what do you mean his girl is here with his best friend?

#logan sargeant x reader #logan sargeant x you #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 x you #disneyprincemuke #disneyprincemuke imagine #disneyprincemuke imagines #disneyprincemuke f1

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everyonewooeverywhere · 5 months ago

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MDNI 18+ BLOG -> ageless blogs and minors WILL BE BLOCKED

pairing ✭ bf!yunho x gn!reader

word count ✭ 0.8k

genre ✭ fluff

rating ✭ pg (but please still mdni. it's a personal preference.)

notes ✭ this is 1000% based on my ungodly work/sleep schedule. i'm a barista who works the morning shift, so like four times a week, i have to wake up at 4am to get to work at 5am. it's a blast 🙂👍

✭ ✭ ✭

The dread you felt when your alarm blared at four o’clock in the morning was always the same, but it was just as terrible every time. Sometimes the feeling was nullified by the presence of your boyfriend, who for some reason still wanted to stay the night despite knowing the terrors of your work schedule.

But even his soft, snoozing face, most of which was buried under your blankets anyway, couldn’t bring you enough comfort. Though you did have to admit he looked adorable underneath your puffy green duvet, and the pink floral pillow under his head was the cherry on top.

He barely stirred when you removed his arm that was draped gently over your waist and slipped out from under the cozy sheets and away from the warmth of Yunho’s body. You kissed him softly on the forehead before sliding off the bed completely.

Turning on the lamp across the room from your bed in an attempt to not wake your sleeping beauty, you sat down on the floor next to it to fix up your hair and apply as much makeup as you had the energy for.

Yunho, clearly unbeknownst to you, watched your every little move from under the covers. He watched your nose crinkle in the mirror when your concealer came out a bit patchy, and he had to stifle a giggle when you nearly stabbed your tired eye with your mascara wand.

He knew you hated these mornings, and, even though he hadn’t told you this, that’s why he was here. He wanted to be at least a presence for you when you left the house hours before the sun even came up. If he couldn’t remove the burden from you, he would at least be there to help you through it.

He watched you peacefully as you went through your little routine, and he did it all without you noticing for a good few minutes. Until you caught his eyes in the mirror. You turned around to face him. Only his messy brown hair and his eyes were visible, everything else buried by your covers.

“Go back to bed,” you spoke softly. He rolled over to the edge of the bed, certainly tempted by your demands. You watched as help slipped off the bed and approached you, still wrapped in one of your fluffy blankets. “Yun, what are you doing?” You asked as he sat down behind you, wrapping you in his arms (and the blanket that encased them).

He smiled when you leaned back into his chest. “What can I help you with, baby?”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

Chuckling and pinching your thigh, “Help. Do you need it?”

You pondered it for a second. It hadn’t ever occurred to you that he could assist you with something as simple as trying to leave for work in the morning.

“Did you eat?” he asked, resting his chin on top of your head. You shook your head. “Ok. Let me grab you something to eat, and I’ll make your coffee, alright?”

A protest bubbled up in your throat instinctively, but you resisted. Because god it would be nice to finally eat something before work. You just nodded, watching as he left your bedroom, keeping the blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

You hadn’t realized until you started dating Yunho a couple of months ago, how much you enjoyed being taken care of. You had spent so much of your life fighting to prove you were independent and self-sufficient. Trying to prove to the people around you that you didn’t need help because you were strong enough to do things on your own.

But something about the way Yunho cared for you without making you feel weak had been really freeing for you. He genuinely just wanted to make sure you were comfortable. And you never felt like a burden around him.

He came back in with your coffee in a travel mug, he added too much cream but the thought was there, and a muffin he’d found in your pantry. “Does this work?” He shook the muffin in his hand.

You smiled and nodded, “That’s perfect. Thank you.”

“Of course, baby,” he handed you the items before sitting down facing you with his back to the wall. He placed a hand on your thigh, “You want me to drive you?”

You shook your head, “Get your sleep. I’ll be okay driving myself.”

“You sure?” You nodded. “Okay. I’ll make us lunch when you get home, and then we can cuddle for the rest of the day, okay?”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” you said after applying the last bit of lipgloss. “Thank you, Yun. I really appreciate your help.”

He smiled, grabbing your hand and kissing your knuckles, “It’s no problem at all. I just wanna make sure you’re taken care of.”

The smile on your face made his heart swell in his chest, “I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby.”

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potatomountain · 4 months ago

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"Why Do You Love?"

❤️‍🩹 pairing: ex Hongjoong x gn!reader x bf Yunho

❤️‍🩹 wc: 2k

❤️‍🩹 au: idol

❤️‍🩹 genre: angst, exes to lovers.

❤️‍🩹 warnings: one punch, hurt/comfort, angst

❤️‍🩹 summary: Your ex finds out who you left him for, just before he released a song that shows just how he feels about your absence

❤️‍🩹 AN: how DARE Kim Hongjoong just drop that mv and put me in my feels so here I am putting him in some feels

❤️‍🩹 an unedited piece written during an overworked weeked at 4am every night i should've been in bed but Kim Hongjoong dictates my life so here we are

❤️‍🩹 nets: @pirateeznet @mirohs-aurora-society

❤️‍🩹 Banner made by me- would have included Yunho but could not find a Pic that matched the vibe I wanted. For other works: Masterlist

The way Hongjoong's expression crumbled tore your heart to pieces all over again. You had only seen that expression once before, the day you had broken things off with him a couple months ago. You told him then you had fallen out of love with him, and in love with someone else.

But you never said who.

Now he knew, staring at the way Yunho's hands pulled the blanket over your shoulders to cover your exposed torso as Yunho himself maneuvered himself to shield you from view.

Without looking at his elder, his Captain, Yunho addressed him, “It's usually polite to knock Hyung.”

You attempted to look at him over Yunho's shoulder, but Yunho moved to block you, meeting your gaze instead.

Both of you knew you couldn't keep it from him forever, but this wasn't how you wanted him to find out. How could you tell him that the man you figuratively left him for was his own group mate?

“I- Yeosang forgot- offered to grab-” Hongjoong’s trembling voice was so loud in your ears, despite being so soft, that you flinched at the sound.

It wasn't like you ever wanted to hurt him, never intentionally, breaking up with him hadn't been an easy decision. Yes you told him that you didn't love him anymore but that wasn't really the case, you just realized he didn't have room for you in his life and it was hurting you with how hard you were trying to make a place.

Touring was understandable, so was his work, but when you found yourself giving all your free time for just a crumb of his attention, it had been too much.

Especially since his own band member showed you that it didn't have to be that way. Yunho made time for you. He messaged you between locations for filming, and on breaks from practice. He invited you over for games, brought you food whenever you were waiting for Hongjoong to leave his studio, and comforted you on many occasions when you cried with the realization that Hongjoong wasn't going to text you or visit despite waiting hours.

Neither of you had wanted to fall in love with the other, but it had taken Yunho having a breakdown over Hongjoong’s treatment of you for you both to realize it had happened.

You had kissed him on impulse, and that led to your decision that you needed to break things off with Hongjoong.

Lost in the spiral of your emotions, you were brought back by Yunho's hand on your cheek. He opened his mouth to speak but you could hear someone else calling out to your ex-boyfriend instead.

“Shit. Shit…Hongjoong.” Seonghwa’s voice got closer and closer until he was panting in the doorway to Yunho's bedroom. . “Oh fuck-”

Seonghwa was the only one you both told, as Yunho had gone to him for advice. Which you had been following.

Break up with Hongjoong- check.

Keep away from the boys, in particular him for a few weeks- check.

See how you and Yunho click as a couple before Hongjoong finds out- also check but you both wanted to hold off until the man seemed to move on.

This was not how he was supposed to find out. And the reason, what you all predicted would happen… did.

He was either going to implode or explode and the realization that Seonghwa had known resulted in the external conflict.

Yunho kept the sight hidden from you but you heard plenty. He was yelling, the hurt in each word twisting the guilty knife in your gut that spurred tears.

Seonghwa shrunk under his harsh words, trying to get a word in but Hongjoong was having none of it. He started accusing you both of cheating, a few harsh demeaning words you had never heard Hongjoong say before we're now being thrown at you.

You sobbed out, covering your ears and hunching over to try and hide yourself in the blanket further now that Yunho wasn't by your side: he had stood up to intervene when Hongjoong had started insulting you.

There was a moment of silence at your sob, and then an echoing sound of skin on skin impact. Your head snapped up, Hongjoong's head twisted awkwardly to the side and Yunho's fist balled up in front of him. Yunho had hit Hongjoong.

“This was a mistake. This was-” You scrambled to put your clothes back on, feeling their eyes in you as you did. You and Yunho hadn't gotten far, it was your first time attempting intimacy past a few kisses, but of course Hongjoong didn't know that, considering he accused you a moment ago of two timing him and probably fucking Yunho whenever he was at the studio.

It hurt, and all you could think about is that you ruined their relationship, that you made their lives so much harder now. Could they even work together now? Yunho hit Hongjoong. What if Yunho got removed from the group?

Your tears made it difficult to find your bag but it was Seonghwa that held it up. Your eyes met his briefly and there was so much emotion there. He pitied you, an apology there you didn't think you deserved either, but you didn't dwell on it. You were out the door without looking at the other two.

By the time you reached the front door, you heard Yunho's harsh tone directed at Hongjoong, repeating some of the things he told you when he had broken down about your treatment. Now he seemed to be saying them to the source, angrily.

You didn't stick around to hear how it went.

Not even two days later you saw it. His socials were plastered with it, as were the group's main socials. You expected another teaser for the upcoming Japanese release, but it was the YouTube notification from KQ you clicked on that brought you to a music video.

“Why Do You Love?”

You should've backed out as soon as you saw his face, should've exited the video as you heard his voice- but just like everything else Hongjoong does you were captivated.

Tears were running down your cheeks by the end of the video, vision too blurry to even see the image any more.

What were you supposed to do about this? You knew, knew it was for you- but for him to release it right after he finds you with Yunho? It hurt so much.

You could only sob, the guilt on your shoulders heavier than before. The song was playing on loop as your own form of personal torture.

The worst part is he was right, you still thought of him. You still loved him, wanted him, even when you were in Yunho’s arms.

That didn't mean you loved Yunho any less, that you would leave him for Hongjoong if he changed his ways. You didn't know what it meant.

And under all the crushing weight, you did nothing. Your inaction stretched for days, even ignoring the texts and calls of your boyfriend, and everything to do with Ateez.

You unfollowed the official accounts, even muted the apps. Your phone you kept on silent, only paying attention to work. You ghosted Yunho, and the longer that went on the harsher the guilt.

A couple weeks passed and this day felt different. It didn't… hurt as much. You braved the Ateez YouTube channel again, turning on the music Video and pulling your legs up to your chest. You stared at Hongjoong's face on the screen, letting his voice ring around you and soak into your soul.

You shut your eyes to stop the tears from falling as you murmured the last lines of the song. “No you, there's no me.”

There was a loud crash that jostled you out of your once more depressing thoughts, physically jumping and swiveling in the direction of the sound. Your eyes about bulged out of your skull at the sight of Hongjoong there, on his knees, tears in his eyes.

Yunho of all people stood behind him, attempting to mask the pain that the sight of you caused. He murmured your name, but didn't come closer.

Turning the TV off, you stood up on shaky legs. “What are…. Why are you here?” The question was directed at them both, but you couldn't look at either.

How pathetic were you right now? When was the last time you did your skin care? Or washed the pajamas you were in. You stunk of depression, and the fact that they felt looser on you than before showed that you lost weight- reminding you that your appetite had been almost nonexistent these last weeks.

Depression does that you suppose.

“I'm sorry.” Hongjong gasped out, picking himself off the floor and making his way to you. His presence was a reminder of the last words he said and you flinched away from him.

You looked away when you spotted the hurt in his eyes by your actions. “I'm not a cheater. I never did.” You weakly defended yourself, weeks later.

He sucked in a breath through his teeth. “I fucked up. I'm sorry I really fucked up I shouldn't have said- I know you didn't cheat baby.” He reached out for you almost desperately. “I know you didn't do anything wrong-”

“Then why the video?” You sobbed out, having no energy to stop him from pulling you against his chest. The best you could muster were your hands on his chest to keep some space.

He pressed his forehead against yours, hand on the back of your head. “I wrote it before I found out. It was already in our editors hands and scheduled, I didn't remember about it until it was too late."

“Then why-”

“Because I'm selfish. I wanted all your time but wouldn't give you mine. I… they set me straight, I know now how much I was hurting you baby, I'm so sorry. Yunho shouldn't have been the one to make you happy when I was yours. That's my fault.”

You shook your head, pulling away. “It's too late. I-I ruined everything. You fought with your members and and- got physical I-”

“We've made amends.” Yunho clarified for you as he finally approached, no longer a bystander to the conversation. “And we want to make amends with you…”

You looked at them both, fresh tears in your eyes. “How? Joongie- ah Hongjoong-”

“No no, call me Joongie again. I missed it. I missed you Baby.” He nuzzled closer, rubbing his cheek against yours. “I want another chance. Please? Please can I have another chance. I'll do better. I can't… I can't do it without you.”

The lyrics of his song floated through your mind, taking your breath away. “I- but- Yunho-"

“We talked about that too.” You felt Yunho's large hand on your back, a kiss on the crown of your head. “We’re… willing to share. Especially after seeing you like this.”

Your brow furrowed in confusion, pulling away to look at them in disbelief. You expected some hesitation or jealousy, some sort of tell this wasn't true. That they hadn't really come to such a decision. Your mouth gaped like a fish out of water, trying to find words.

Yunho sighed, pulling you back to them. “Let’s clean you up first and feed you properly. You can decide then but I know you. I know you love him. I know you miss him. He’l have a place in your heart I won't but-”

“-But Yunho is special to you too. He cares for you in the way I should. Makes you happy, keeps you grounded. And without you… we’re both pretty miserable. So you need us both as much as we need you.” Hongjoong finished for him.

Yunho smirked as he pulled you to your room. “Look at you, taking Seonghwa Hyung’s words as your own.”

Hongjoong flushed prettily, grabbing your hand and rushing to catch up. “Shut up. He's not wrong.”

You found yourself astonished how easy going they were now after the last time you saw them. Yunho chuckled at the shorter man and stuck his tongue out, the mood between them becoming playful. Enough it had you laughing, both turning to look at you in confusion.

Both had grins spreading across their faces that matched your own.

Maybe this love could work. Maybe.

Taglist (Form): @candypop1611 | @vannabanana1995 | @piratequeen-queenofgames | @starstruckforyou

| @therealcuppicake | @lavishloving | @pearltinyy | @vampiregirl215

| @intowxnderland | @lover-ofallthingspretty | @fanficsruinedmylife |

#pirateeznet #mirohsaurorasociety #ateez fanfic #hongjoong x reader #yunho x reader #ateez x reader #hongjoong angst #yunho angst #ateez fanfiction #ateez fic #hurt/comfort #i cant write unhappy endings #hongjoong is pretty when sad

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heartysworld · 11 months ago

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Never Again || Luke Castellan x Reader

W.C: 2.3k

Warnings: none that I could think of

A/N: Requests are open everyone! I'll start working on them as soon as I finish the 2 fics from my poll (this is one of them) Also, I've scheduled this to be posted at 4AM local time where I live, so surprise me when i wake up (I've had the shittiest day ever).

My Newest Fic <3

You grew up as a happy child, content with life and the many siblings you had. It was never boring in the Apollo Cabin, that’s for sure. As you grew she found yourself surrounded by friends, one curly-haired boy in particular standing out. The moment Luke arrived at camp he couldn’t seem to be able to take his eyes off the pretty girl who was the first thing he saw in the infirmary once he opened his eyes after that tragic night.

He spent month chasing after her, wanting to become her friend first before she could bring herself to even consider him something more than that. Everyone at camp witnessed the innocent friendship the two shared blossom into something bigger, stronger and passionate. Luke and Y/N were the sweethearts of Camp Half-Blood by the time the Apollo girl turned seventeen.

Nobody expected what was about to happen the night everything changed between the two. Luke and Y/N had just gotten off counselor duties and had headed out towards the lake where they could have some much-needed peace and quiet. Cuddled together the two laid over a blanket near the water, admiring the start-lit sky than hung above them.

That was all Luke ever wanted, peace and happiness with the girl he loved so dearly. The two had even spoken about their plans after it was time to leave the camp. They planned on moving in together, maybe going to college if they managed to stabilize their hectic lives.

The last thing from that night in Y/N’s mind was Luke calling her name, despair and fear laced with his loud voice. Then, everything went black.

‘’Look who’s finally awake. You gave us quite the scare, Y/N, we were starting to worry.’’ One of your brother said as he approached your bed, helping you settle against the wall and handing you a glass of water.

‘’What…what happened?’’ you asked, voice hoarse and quiet.

‘’Michael, what happened?’’ you asked more insistently this time.

‘’I might get into trouble for even opening my mouth but…you had a vision, Y/N. Chiron thinks you are a seer, him and Mr. D have been going over possible triggers that might have caused the outburst that you had. It was scary, Y/N, I’m not gonna lie to you. Luke was scared shitless, the two of you were together when it happened. He might be one of our strongest camp mates but three nights ago he looked so weak and helpless. It was as if I he was a whole different person.’’ Your brother said. His words felt like a bucket of cold water that was poured over you.

The only thought in your mind now was Luke. Where was he? Was he fine? Had he come to check up on you while you were unconscious? Was it was over?

‘’Where’s Luke? Have you seen him?’’ you asked, a concerned expression present on your tires face.

‘’He came a couple of times but he left quickly. I don’t think he was able to bring himself to stay longer, you know…with his mom and everything.’’ Michael said, the last part of his sentence barely audible.

‘’I have to go find him, come on help me get up.’’ You said, using all of your strength to get up from the bed, unsuccessfully. Your libs felt as heavy as concrete.

‘’Hey, hey calm down! Before you do something stupid and fall unconscious, again I have to go and tell Chiron you’re awake. His orders!’’ your brother helped you sit back down on the bed before exiting the infirmary to go look for the old man.

After what felt like an eternity, Chiron entered the infirmary, a solemn expression on his face. He approached your bed, his eyes filled with a mixture of concern and responsibility.

"Y/N, I'm glad to see you awake. How are you feeling?" Chiron inquired, his voice gentle yet firm.

"I need to find Luke," you replied urgently, ignoring the question about your well-being. "I need to talk to him."

Chiron sighed, his eyes narrowing slightly as he considered your request. "Y/N, you need to rest. We're still trying to contact Apollo to understand the nature of your abilities. Running around in your condition is not advisable."

"I don't care," you insisted, frustration and worry etched on your face. "I need to find him. I need to know if... if it's over between us."

Chiron regarded you for a moment before nodding understandingly. "Very well. I will allow you to go to your cabin and rest. But promise me, you'll take it easy. We'll continue our efforts to contact Apollo, and we'll keep you informed."

You nodded, grateful for the permission to leave the infirmary. As you made your way to Cabin 7, thoughts of Luke and the uncertain future raced through your mind. When you entered, the familiar surroundings offered little comfort. It was supposed to be a place of solace, but now it felt like a battleground of emotions.

Resting on your bed, you couldn't shake off the anxiety that gnawed at you. Despite your exhaustion, you couldn't find peace. The weight of the unknown, coupled with the fear of losing Luke, lingered in the air.

Unable to bear the silence any longer, you decided to search for Luke. You needed answers, closure, anything to ease the turmoil within you. You needed to know whether the meddling of the Gods with the human world was about to take away the one person you love the most. With determination, you headed towards the training grounds where you often found him honing his skills.

The training area was dimly lit, shadows dancing with each flicker of torchlight. Luke was there, his back turned to you as he practiced his swordsmanship. His shirt was drenched with sweat, not leaving much to one’s imagination. If the situation wasn’t as serious, you’d be doing something completely different now. As you approached, his muscled visibly tensed. Luke had always been able to sense whenever you were around.

"L-Luke," you stammered, uncertainty lacing your voice.

He turned to face you, his expression unreadable. "Y/N," he acknowledged, but there was a coldness in his eyes and voice, one that hadn't been there before.

"I need to talk to you," you whispered, your heart pounding. You’ve always felt calm in Luke’s presence before. The two of you even joked at some point that he was your personal calming agent, but now, everything felt completely different. You felt so out of place that it was unbelievable.

He hesitated, then sighed, sheathing his sword. "Can it wait? I'm not in the mood for a conversation right now." Avoiding the problem was one of Luke’s fatal flaws, at least when It came to your relationship.

"No, it can't," you insisted, your emotions bubbling to the surface. "Is it over, Luke? Do you no longer want to be with me?" You cut straight to the point. ‘’I’ve been awake for hours and not even once have you tried to approach me to see how I am, if I’m even alive and breathing!’’

His eyes flickered with a mix of pain and frustration. "Y/N, it's not that simple. I... I can't."

Tears welled in your eyes as you felt the ground beneath you crumble. "Can't what? Luke, please, I need to understand."

A heavy silence hung between you before he spoke, his voice strained. "I haven't been able to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see her—my mother, then I see you. The accident, the fear in hers and your eyes from that night. It haunts me, Y/N."

You didn’t need to hear him say it that he needed to feel your touch at that moment. Carefully, step by step you got closer to him until your arms enveloped his much larger and warmer form. The second your skin came in touch with Luke’s his arm went around you like a protective barrier. He nuzzled his head in the crook of you neck, breathing in the sweet scent that he had so dearly missed the past three days. You felt the warm tears stream down the skin of you neck and right at that moment you could swear that you felt your heart shatter for the vulnerable boy who stood in your arms.

The silence that followed was suffocating, the heavy weight of unspoken emotions pressing down on both of you. Luke's grip on you tightened, as if he was afraid that if he let go, you would disappear like a phantom of his imagination.

"You don't understand, Y/N," he whispered, his voice strained. "I keep seeing her, her face contorted in fear. I hear her screams. It's like a never-ending nightmare, and I'm trapped."

You pulled back slightly, cupping his face in your hands, forcing him to meet your gaze. "Luke, I'm not her. I'm not your mother. The circumstances are different. What happened to her was terrible, but we have to keep moving forward. We can face this together. I won't let you go through it alone."

He closed his eyes, his breath shaky. "I'm scared, Y/N. Scared of losing you, scared of repeating the past."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you fought to keep your voice steady. "I'm scared too, Luke. But we can't let fear control us. We can't let it destroy what we have. You are the love of my life, Luke, I won’t allow the Gods’ meddling with our world to ruin us."

He opened his eyes, and for a moment, you saw the vulnerability and pain that he had been hiding. "I love you, Y/N. I can't bear the thought of something happening to you because of me."

Gently, you wiped away his tears with your thumbs. "I love you too, Luke. But we can't let fear dictate our choices. We have to find a way to move forward, together."

His lips quivered as he struggled to find the right words. "I can't promise it'll be easy. I can't promise I won't be haunted by the past.But I promise to try my hardest to protect you from any danger that threatens to take you from me. I’d rather watch the world go up in flames than have you suffer."

You nodded, your heart breaking for the man you loved. "I don't need promises, Luke. I just need you. We'll face whatever comes our way, you and me."

As you spoke, the moonlight filtered through the leaves above, casting a gentle glow on both of you. The training grounds, once filled with the clash of swords and the echoes of laughter, now bore witness to a somber moment between two souls entwined by fate.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N," Luke whispered, his voice barely audible. "I never wanted to hurt you." You shook your head, tears rolling down your cheeks. "We've both been hurt, Luke. However, we can heal together. Just don't shut me out."

A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he rested his forehead against yours. "I don't deserve you, Y/N."

"Deserving has nothing to do with it," you replied, your voice soft but determined. "Love isn't about deserving; it's about choosing to be with someone, flaws and all."

He pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms a comforting refuge. "I don't want to lose you," he confessed, his voice raw with emotion.

"I don't want to lose you either," you whispered, your words muffled against his chest.

The nights turned into days, and with each sunrise, a semblance of healing took place. Luke and you faced the challenges of you newfound abilities together, navigating the labyrinth of their emotions. In the quiet moments, you found solace in each other's presence, and in the stormy ones, you stood united against the uncertainties that lingered.

You spent the rest of the night tightly wrapped in the embrace of the man you loved. Luke clung to you for dear life as he slept. You could tell that he needed this even more than you did.

One evening, as the campfire crackled under the starlit sky, Luke took your hand in his, sending a silent invitation to stroll around the lake. The moonlight reflected off the water, casting a soft glow on their faces. The air was thick with the unspoken, the weight of your shared experiences hanging between you.

You stopped suddenly, turning to face Luke, your eyes searching his for reassurance. "We can do this, Luke. We can face whatever comes our way."

He nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "Together."

As if drawn by an invisible force, your lips met in a gentle and tentative kiss. It was a kiss filled with the promise of a new beginning, a silent affirmation that love could triumph over even the darkest of shadows. The world around you seemed to fade, leaving only the soft sounds of nature, labored breaths and the beating of you hearts.

When you pulled away, you admired the way the moonlight reflected in Luke’s eyes. Everything was quiet. No words were needed. In that kiss, you two found a renewal of hope, a rekindling of the flame that had flickered in the face of adversity.

"I love you," Luke whispered, his forehead resting against you.

"I love you too," You replied, a warmth spreading through her chest.

My Newest Fic <3

Hand in hand, you continued you walk along the lake, leaving behind the ghosts of the past. As you and him disappeared into the night, the echoes of your footsteps mingled with the whispers of the wind, carrying the promise of a future built on resilience, understanding, and the enduring power of love.

#luke castellan pjo #luke castellan oneshot #luke castellan fanfic #luke castellan fanfiction #luke castellan #luke castellan fluff #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x y/n #luke castellan x you #luke castellan angst #pjo imagine #pjo fanfic #percy jackson and the olympians x reader #percy series #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson angst #percy jackson fluff #boost

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bullet-prooflove · 2 months ago

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Can you do #32 “My daddy liked you, and that was a first You promised him you'd be the guy I deserve” for Jalen Shaw?

Tagging: @kmc1989 @storiesofsvu @telepathay @smoothdogsgirl

Companion piece to:

Inked (NSFW) - Jalen and you share a mutual appreciation of tattoos.

Call Out (NSFW) - Jalen and you get interrupted at 4am.

Waiting - Jalen waits up for you.

Officer Down - Jalen waits for a call after officer down goes out over the radio.

Too Damn Close - Jalen thinks about what almost happened.

On the weekends you have to work Jalen spends time with your father. The two of them have become friends throughout the course of your relationship, with weekly chess matches and monthly poker nights. This Saturday he takes Jim to the farmer’s market because after the shooting your father has decided you need a little home cooking to sooth your soul. He used to be a chef once upon a time and spends his retirement at the homeless shelter cooking up a feast with whatever ingredients they have to offer.

“How’s Lainey doing?” Jim asks as he walks beside Jalen, his walking stick thudding on the ground with every step. He’s slowed down in the last couple of years, become unbalanced, it’s why Jalen’s carrying the three tote bags filled with the groceries.

“She is…” Jalen searches for the words to phrase your behaviour as of late. “…processing is probably the best way to describe it.”

You have nightmares sometimes, flashbacks he thinks, although he can’t be sure. Sometimes he’ll come into the kitchen and you’ll be staring out of the window at something that’s not really there or you’ll flinch when you hear a car back fire. It’s a trauma response to what you’ve been through and he wishes you’d be more open about it with him but it’s not in your nature.

“Counselling?” Jim asks as he picks up a plum, squeezing it lightly in his palm. Jalen still can’t figure out what he’s making for dinner, all he can say is it has spices, lots of different spices.

“She’s seeing someone privately.” Jalen tells the other man, unfolding another tote bad from his pocket and handing it to him. “She doesn’t want the department knowing because they might bench her.”

“You’re worried.” Jim states as he tilts his head up to meet Jalen’s eyes.

“Yea.” He says simply, shrugging his shoulders. “But she won’t listen to me, she never does.”

“She’s like her mother.” Jim says as he begins to fill the tote bag with fresh fruit. “Stubborn, fiercely independent, it sure puts the shits up the men that are married to them that’s for sure.”

Jalen doesn’t respond, he simply takes out his wallet and pays the fruit vendor before lifting the new tote onto his opposite shoulder.

“Speaking of, didn’t you ask me for my blessing a couple of months ago?” Jim murmurs as Jalen falls into step alongside him. “I thought we’d have celebrated an engagement by now.”

This is the inevitable question that Jalen’s been avoiding.

“She said no.” He says finally, shifting the bags on his left shoulder. “She feels like she’ll lose her independence and I…” He trails off because it still hurts that you won’t take that leap with him. “…I have to respect that.”

“Oh.” Jim says and Jalen sighs as they pause at another stall.

“I love her Jim and I know she loves me, I just… I wanted more for us and I don’t think she’s going to get there.” He says, his fingertips tracing over the honied soap he thinks you’d love.

“So where does that leave you?” Jim asks as Jalen picks it up and hands it to the vendor. “Will that be enough?”

That’s a question he really doesn’t have an answer to, the one he’s been wresting with since before the shooting.

“It is for now.” Jalen says, his voice a little rough. “It’ll have to be for now.”

Love Jalen? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Interested in supporting me? Join my Patreon for Bonus Content!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

#jalen shaw #jalen shaw x reader #law and order

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spiralizera · 1 year ago

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buzzcut season

Summary: Namjoon x reader. Self-explanatory

warnings/notes: established relationship, depression, hurt/comfort, mild suggestion, a shower, this was so self-indulgent, and by self-indulgent I mean I wrote it at 4am when I had to be up at 6am

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‘Ready?’

You hold Namjoon’s eyes in the mirror as you stand behind him. He sits in front of you, shirt off with a towel wrapped around his shoulders. He looks at you with firm determination.

‘You still sure you want to do this? You can always change your mind. No one has to know.’

A flicker in his eye. You would know, you knew everything. It terrified him sometimes how much of him, all of him, you held in his hands. But you kept your face open, loving and non-judgemental. No one would know because as far as you were concerned you were no one, this was nothing. As in, this room, you and him, did not exist outside this moment. Two separate planes of existence where the outside world could not begin to fathom, let alone touch the tiny world you’d crafted between each others touch and gaze. No one would know if he failed. Again.

——————————————————————

Joon had come to you that morning. You’d been waiting for days. He’d not been in a good place for months. The growing number of hours at the studio, the obsessive workouts, the half written lyrics left absently around the house, the holding onto you at night like a life raft. He wouldn’t talk. You didn’t push. You made sure he ate, got some sleep; held him and told him simple things about your day. You were there in the hopes that he would soon join you.

Then, he came to your desk and knelt by your side, placed his head in the crook of your hip joint. You ran your fingers through his glossy hair before pressing your lips to his head. Some days he did this and you let him sit there for what felt like hours as you wrote your notes. It was a peaceful equilibrium only interrupted by the afternoon sun sifting through the curtains. Today there was a charge. If you didn’t hold on, it felt like he might take off, or fall apart. There was an energy. It was good. It had to be.

‘I need you to do something for me.’

You hummed, keeping a steady rhythm.

‘I need you to shave my head.’

He raised his head, eyes a little woozy from the blood rushing to his cheeks. Your hands followed them, cupping the skin as you searched his gaze.

Not a question. A need.

‘Ok.’

‘I need you to cut it all off.’

‘Ok,’ you repeat, as softly as you thumb his cheeks.

His gaze is hard and his eyes are bright. You slip to the floor, not moving your hands from his face and landing between his thighs. He pulls at your waist, gets you as close as he can.

‘Ok Joon. We can do that.’

———————-————————————

You do eventually talk about it. As you make the coffee you listen as he takes you through all his thinking. There’s so much of it and you can’t help but smile. Of course he would overanalyse this small act of rebellion into oblivion.

You touch his hip as you hand him a cup. ‘It’ll feel good.’ Simple language felt right, grounding. You weren’t going to question him, he did enough of that on his own.

‘I did it a couple of years ago. It felt good to let go like that.’

His eyes slightly widened. ‘Really?’

‘Yeah,’ you traced the rim of your own cup. It was strange to find pockets of yourself that he didn’t know. You forgot sometimes, forgot that he hadn’t burrowed into and fused with every cell of your body and all its rotten, gorgeous histories. It sure felt that way. You were quick to remedy the fact.

You’d been going through a rough time. But that didn’t necessarily feel relevant to the shaving. It’d been difficult to tell when the rough time had started, long before the head shaving. But it was easy in retrospect to string together the expected narrative. You’d actually been feeling good that summer. It’d felt empowering. You’d been giddy. Friends watched in a neat line on the sofa as you committed the fateful act. It became a ritual then, an occasion. Ask a different friend each time to shave and then eventually bleach your head. A gesture of trust. An excuse to have dinner and catch up in a city that was hostile to such acts of tenderness. But it’d also been a form of armour, a repellent. One you only began to recognise when you let it grow out again. When you’d let it grow soft and it’d start to graze your shoulders, only then did you realise how hard you had been. You didn’t want to be a cliche. But again, it’s easy to fall into such things in retrospect.

Namjoon listened as he buried his face into your hair. It was thinner than his, but curly at the ends and you had a lot of it. He liked how he could grab a fistful and feel it disappear into the nothing at the end. Like silk or water.

‘Do you think I’m crazy?’ He asked into your neck.

You shook your head and he got a wave of heady perfume.

‘No. I think you’re sad.’

You’d never said it so simply before. It cut to the quick of what he’d been circling for months. His hands slightly tightened around your hips and you could feel the way his chest hitched. You turned around, tracking his fingertips on your waist as you grasped his cheeks.

‘And that’s ok. Change is good. We don’t know what it will bring but the act of choosing something, choosing for yourself, for better or worse, is one of the best things you can do.’

He closes his eyes, the tears caught in his throat, and you kiss his eyelids like a shrine.

‘I love you.’ You pull his head towards you slightly and press your forehead to his. ‘I love you and I promise everything will be ok.’

He nods slightly, his forehead bumping against yours and you can’t help but laugh at the small ‘ow’ that escapes his lips.

——————————————————————

You started at the neck where his hair was already short, giving him that final window to back out if he needed.

He stared hard into the mirror like man heading to war. You couldn’t help but break the tension and eventually went straight through the middle of his head. Black swatches fell to the floor and a noise escaped your mouth as you both stared at the consequences. A trench ran straight through the middle of his thick hair. For one long second, both of your faces were a gobsmacked mirror, frozen in disbelief, before Joon cracked with a laugh. He grabbed the clippers off you and repeated the action. His smile growing bigger and you couldn’t help but giggling as you watched him attack his head.

He’d been fastidious about his appearance for years, everyone had. Now it was all gone.

You went in afterwards and evened it out, neatened the edges, touching the soft velvet of a fresh buzzcut with growing compulsion.

Joon had closed his eyes, his brow as soft as his smile as he cherished every touch you stole against his new scalp.

When you finished, you kissed the top of his head. And then his temples and the nape of his neck until he swatted you away and opened his eyes.

He looked and felt lighter. He felt like he was seeing himself for the first time in months. You caught his eye and couldn’t help but catch the grin that was threatening to split his face in half.

Before you could stop him, he’d grabbed you and pulled you into his lap. You squealed and complained about all the hair in your mouth and across the bathroom. He ignored you and whispered thank you into your neck like a mantra. You eventually settled and pulled away to get a proper look. You placed your hands on his chest and felt that heartbeat for what felt like the first time in months.

You kept looking at each other. Not saying anything but occasionally ducking heads into smiles like crushing teenagers.

Despite the vehement protests, Joon picked you up then. Hooking your thighs around his waist and crushing his lips to yours. Holding you and refusing to let go, he grappled his way to the shower. Steam quickly fogging the glass. He pressed you against the cold tiles, your clothes soaking thin, and touched you in ways that he hadn’t in months.

‘Thank you’ he kept repeating, peppering your skin with it, breathy and high with adrenaline. You laughed and ran your fingers against the grain of his scalp, felt his hands tighten on your thighs.

‘Show me how thankful you are.’

#Bts #namjoon fic #kim namjoon #rm #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #bts oneshot #namjoon one shot #namjoon x y/n #this is so touch starved #rm x y/n #namjoon buzzcut #Namjoon hair #rm hair #kim seokjin #park jimin #jung hoseok #jeon jungkook #kim taehyung

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fuckingstrange · 1 year ago

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| Day21: Faking Sick or not well? |

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WARNINGS: Seasonal depression mention, Caring Reid, implied late seasons Reid but it's wtv

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WORDS: 469

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PAIRING: Spencer Reid x m!reader (refers to reader as "man" one time)

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Rushed ASF bc it's the 23rd (like 4am) and I gotta get three fics out by the end of today so I don't feel like a mad man going to jail for missing so many days already

You sit on the living room couch, nearly half asleep as Tom and Jerry plays on the TV. You're still in the same pajamas as three days ago, when you had gotten drowned in a wave, more like a tsunami, of depression. 'tis the season for messy depression. It was all you could even think to do to call Hotch and claim you're sick, not wanting the team to worry about you or show up at your house because you didn't show up to work unannounced.

It's around 6pm when your front door opens, your gaze remaining on the TV. If it's a burglar, they'll find out there's nothing worth taking. It's not until a bag full of Chinese takeout lands on your field of vision on the coffee table that you look at who it is that came inside.

You're met with Reid, his brows furrowed as he stares at your scruffed up appearance, the matted clothes, messy hair, darker than usual eyebags all just confirming his suspicion on why you weren't really at work. He takes a step back, turning around and marching off to the kitchen. He returns not a minute later with two forks, shoving one in your open hand that slightly dangles off the couch.

“Eat.” He orders, grabbing a small thing of fried rice and putting it in your other hand. You sit up with a groan, adjusting yourself so you can lean your upper back against the arm of the chair. You don't argue, simply open up the small takeout container and begin slowly eating, gaze still on the cat and mouse running around on your TV.

Reid begins eating as well, though his gaze is on you rather than the cartoon. He takes a bite right after you do each time, making sure you're eating with him. “You didn't have to do this, y'know.” You mumble, taking another bite of the fried rice, attempting to put it down but hearing Reid’s near growl of disapproval you're quickly pulling it right back close and scooping up some more. “Yes, I did. I knew you weren't sick the day Hotch told us you called out of work. You never take sick days, even when you're sick, I have had to drag you out of there and into your damn bed when you couldn't go thirty minutes without vomiting a couple months back.” He argues.

You just shrug in response, “Well, if anybody asks..” trailing off, with the fried rice still in one hand, you use the other to slowly cover your mouth and make a fake coughing sound. Reid gives a soft scoff, followed by a light chuckle. “Just eat your damn dinner, man.” He says, reaching over to give your leg a light nudge. His action pulls a tiny smile from you.

#spencer reid #hotboxed x-mas ficlist #spencer reid x m!reader #ive been dealing with seasonal depression #need a man like him to help me fr

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natashasbitxh · 9 months ago

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Okay so for people in diff timezones, it's around 4am on the 13th April for me, so the 11th was about two days ago

But I've been meaning to make a little post

Thursday marked the year anniversary of Smosh's tntl with Starkid. Now I know to some that means absolutely nothing, but to me it's a little special because this means I've now been a proper smosh fan and on smoshblr for around a year now☹️

I would say I REALLY became apart of smoshblr around November when I became shaynse anon and I don't want to sound cringey but I actually believe that I have changed quite a bit since then blogwise and even personalitywise even though its been a couple of months

I guess I just wanted to make a post to say from the bottom of my heart thank you, the mutuals and anons I've gained the past couple of months is a lot compared to me pre shaynse anon. I really found my footing on tumblr and gained a lot more confidence all thanks to this little community 🙂

I will never forget shaynse day, its still CRAZY to me that even one person thought of me, never mind multiple. I remember when that happened (people reaching out to me), I was giddy for days and I was ready to explode because I had nobody in real life to talk to it about😭 So thank you SO much

To anybody that has even liked or reblogged a post of mine, thank you. To anybody that has clicked on my blog and had a little look around, thank you. To anybody that has given me a follow or sent in an ask, THANK YOU. I know it seems small, but even a little interaction truly makes my day. I love this little corner of the internet☹️🫶

Theres a few mutual that I absolutely HAVE to thank, because you guys truly are such a big part of tumblr for me.

(Now, please understand that these are people specific to SMOSHBLR🙏)

@jovenshires, hi bestie🙂 you've genuinely done SO much for me since I sent that silly little ask to you, indirectly or not. I definitely don't think I'd have my little place on smoshblr without you, shaynse anon was A MOMENT. I still think about the Christmas gift you gave to me daily, it genuinely warms my heart sm that you'd think to create something for me☹️ AND YOU THOUGHT OF IT WHILE I WAS STILL ONLY A LITTLE ANON☹️ Thank you SO much for helping me be welcomed into this space🫶

@lilac-hecox, I don't think we've directly spoken a lot? But we interact with eachother quite a bit, and ur blog?? OBSESSED. Anyway recent memory on April 1st I just remember booping the HELL out of ur page and u booping just as much back😭🫶

@wallpaper-inside-my-heart, I genuinely think about the smoshblr december asks SO MUCH. That was such a sweet thing for you to do and I rlly think it brought the fandom sm closer, and it was so kind how you acknowledged like almost everybody's posts almost EVERYDAY. It was so fun talking to you abt our interests🫶

@ancientvamp, hello to my shaynse SOLDIER OMG🫶 We both fill up the shaynse tag SM and I LOVE IT😭 Ur like my no.1 shaynse blog probably, like sometimes I feel we are SO on the same wavelength. I just think ur rlly neat!! 🫶

@bomikalover, HELLO TO ANOTHER SHAYNSE SOLDIER!!! My shaynse bestie!! Your edits are SOOO iconic, and I'm so happy to have been able to let you know chanse saw ur edit, that was literally insane and I was so happy for u☹️ ur just so 🫶🫶🫶

now there are SO MANY PEOPLE I'd LOVE to tag, but I thought I'd narrow it down to just a few that I've properly interacted with. To any mutuals that see this, please don't take offense, not my intention AT ALL!!! In fact, HI HI HI!!! If you'd like, PLEASE reach out or interact with me!! I'd always love to communicate, whether that's in reblogs, comments etc!!

I do actually have a project I want to do as an almost celebration, but I kinda had to scrap and restart my whole idea because it wasn't going how I wanted😭 so bear with! And also I'll probably do something for the anniversary of shaynse day, cause why not🤷‍♀️

ANYWAY, long story short THANK YOU to all and to smoshblr for being such a welcoming and sweet area on the Internet when everywhere else is often not🫶

-love, shaynse anon

#Eww not me getting sappy #Can't help it #I'm genuinely so sentimental😭#I just thought you guys deserved some thanks!#Never harmful to give a little thanks🫶#shaynse anon #nat talks #shaynse #smoshblr #smosh

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nenayaquisieras · 10 months ago

Note

No because what if reader has experienced something extremely similar to Ghost like being the same POW from Roba and the cartel which multiplied the dead people thing so much it couldn’t really be “ignored” or “turned off” which least to ghosts actually becoming physical to reader which leads to the random ghosts fights at 4am and possibly a phobia of being touched because touch=pain and because of the major torture inflicted during their POW and the only reasons they let reader “go” was because they assumed that reader logged off a couple months ago due to the fact their litterly seeing dead people.

Physical appearance permanently affected via pale skin and permanent circles under their eyes with nearly white hair or possibly just massive patches of white strands because the constant crushing stress and the fact their more attuned to the spiritual realm hence looking like a walking corpse so both worlds at play? Reader looks like they’re going to drop dead any second so they wear full body coverage and masks to BOTH combat their phobia of touch and to avoid judgmental looks.

Reader is feral with major trust issues like a dog-coded character but it’s put up with the facade of being seemingly reclusive like a stray animal preferred to be left alone. Poly!141 with a closer bond with Ghost because of POW background, the whole “Grim reaper” personas, and because “respect me like a wild animal or will chew out your arteries but please be patient I am inexperienced with all forms of love”

Reader asexual which only makes any form of sexual advancement/moment that more cherished and treated with consent with utmost trust instead of something that’s a fucking required milestone in any romantic relationship, sexual advances treated like some sort of degrading ass game, among other things that’s been heavily tainted in media.

woah

y'all fr bringing the angst and torture

me like

the fighting demon ones has always been so scary to me bc I remember seeing this story time of a girl who has the same abilities as reader and she woke up around 3 and she SWEARS she felt like she got dragged down to hell

like she felt the demons or something and she was panicking bc it felt suffocating and everything was in slow motion and she swears her world was like mixing with another

and later she saw she had bruises and scratch marks on her back

I really like this take on medium!reader ! the physical part is something very interesting, living but borderline dead. two worlds colliding. something like that would really do a number on someone.

damm imagine reader couldn't stand to see herself in the mirror bc she doesn't want another reminder of her abilities. doesn't wanna see herself as the things that torture her so she avoids looking at the mirror.

#medium!reader #tf 141

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thepixelelf · 1 year ago

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roommates to (honestly?) enemies au. I wrote this for jackie @97-liners like. six months ago and just finished the last couple paragraphs now. :]

[unconscious crimes against humanity] You wonder if you did something to deserve this.

Surely you haven't done anything that bad recently... Right? You always recycle, you hold doors open for people, you make sure to treat everyone with respect — when they deserve it, of course.

But you must have done something wrong.

Otherwise why would an exposed pipe in your less-than-glamorous apartment explode in Seungcheol's room, right over his bed, and force him to take refuge in your room for the night?

At first, you thought your punishment for the yet unknown sin you must've committed was that you'd have to keep your raging heartbeat in check while your roommate-slash-longtime-crush slept next to you.

But no.

Your heartbeat is fine.

It's pumping at a normal, awake pace.

At four in the morning.

Seungcheol starfishes in his sleep like someone's holding him at fucking gunpoint, arms stretched over his head half the time while the other half is spent smacking you in the face every time he shifts around his half of the bed.

(His half of the bed, your bed, by the way, is the middle 50 percent. In his deep slumber, he so generously left the remaining 25 percents on either side of him to you.)

All because you were too flustered by him begging to sleep over in your room for the night that you didn't even think to go, hey, you know we have a couch, right?

Normally, you'd say something.

Sure, you might have this stupid longing for a guy that's way out of your league (when he's awake, you think as he shifts around again, narrowly missing your face with his elbow,) and who sometimes makes you forget basic human functions, but that doesn't mean you hold back on telling him boundaries, or when you don't like something.

It's just that he seemed so exhausted when he came home today. (Yesterday? Since it's already 4am...) Having a shitty day and then coming home to possibly the worst combination of liquids gushing onto your mattress and sheets? You'd be a monster if you didn't let the guy sleep.

And... well... if you're being honest: it's not too bad.

Seungcheol is warm. It's been a while since you've shared your bed with someone, and his body heat is certainly not something you're complaining about. (Perhaps in the summer, you would, but not right now.)

Besides, maybe this is a sign. You've always thought that your attraction to Seungcheol was one-sided, but he seemed almost... a combination of nervous, excited, and thankful when you said yes to letting him use your bed as a refuge. You can't help but wonder if he sees you in such a light as you see him; he's kind to you and strangers alike; he always knows how to make you laugh; (he's hot as hell); he's—

—smacked you in the face again, this time, in his deep unconsciousness, stealing your pillow from right under your head and hugging it tight to his chest.

You take it back. You take it all back.

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synthshenanigans · 1 year ago

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woah hey a year has been passed wowie :0

First two weren't posted here cos they were too long ago & not CJish related but love the way he took up 70% of the year lol

[ Full images + templates below :} ]

[TW for Bright Colors, maybe blood & very very vague themes of depression/suicide for like 2 drawings I believe]

Long text about the arts if anyones actually curious!!

January: An old OC I completely forgot about until making this. He's based on old radio like things :}

February: Played Person 5 Royal last year & drew Joker cos idk he's neat. Fun fact, the same day I fully finished the game was the day Storm & a Spring came out. Also while grinding in the game, I had his Bidding & VoaC covers on repeat. Which was a bit annoying to do since they weren't on Spotify yet & YT on mobile didn't have looping then.

March: The Hawaii Part ii album cover :} I did post that eventually but that's the time I actually made it. Had listened to TME a couple of months before then which got me into the album, so months later I drew it cos why not? [Also the month Vol.1 fully released on everything. What's funny is my gallery for that day was a handful of memes I saved at 4am before I fell asleep. And then the next image saved is when I woke up which was a screenshot of the whiteboard in TfaR lol]

April: First main Jash art !!! And its not even with any of the songs from Vol. 1 lol. I had his Moss cover on repeat again & now that all of Vol. 1 was out, I drew Heart in some moss. Or really in the image from the video.

May: Lil animation I made of Heart with the song Don't Hit the Lights! Link to my post & the song can be found here :}. Still really like the song & even the drawings. Might remake em eventually idk

June: Sky/socialc1imb's Clue AU! I like murder mysteries & this one was real interesting so I drew it a lot lol. Might remake that one or one of the others I made at somepoint? It'll be a bit later if I do but ye

July: A redraw of a HMS piece I originally made back in May, based on the Three Wise Monkeys thing. I like the idea of it so I keep wanting to remake it.

August: I honestly can't remember if I posted that art or not. Actually yea I don't think I ever did PFFT. It's one of the few drawings I did of myself this year & its from CJs Not Perfect cover [as you can tell by the lyrics on it]. Also one of the very very few vent-ish arts I made. I like the background more than anything but its still neat ig?

September: Art for one of the best songs ever. I love Fine, I'm Fine its so good & I listened to it for like 70% of the 20+ hours it took me to make the drawing. Still proud of it so there's the sketch I drew on paper, the one on my tablet & then the final versions.

October: There was a lot from this month due to Jashtober. I still like this one lot & it wasn't insanely rushed so I picked this one to show lol.

November: I have no idea why I made a fun lil soul. I was having an identity crisis over my art style & ig decided to draw the guy who is a walking identity crisis/j

December: Same as September. One of my favorite songs ever was covered & released, so I made a drawing like everyone else lol.

#time is wild #also love the way my art style changes each month or two #anyway tho im actually pretty happy with how much better I've gotten #have a lotta plans for more HMS/CJ stuff #just quite busy & overloaded atm lol #more will hopefully come tho #chonny jash #moss post #-atlas art-

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seannesruins · 4 months ago

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28-29.08.24 | BGC

Things we planned the night we met up

Planned to watch Love Child because we were not able to catch its screening in this year's Cinemalaya run. Because I still have work to do on that day, she agreed to watch in a cinema near my place. Last full show is at 2020H in Market! Market! The movie was nice although I'd rate it a fair 2.5/5 because some of the dialogues were really cringey, add to it the ending that felt short. But as a sister of a child with CP, the story felt close to my heart. Will probably make a review on another post if sinipag ako haha.

Planned to have early dinner. Earlier that day, she asked if I want to have dinner first before the screening so I agreed but told her that I have limited time lang since my work will end at 5pm and will need an hour to get ready. We met at Central Square around 1840H and had dinner in Va Bene. I haven't been here in a while and I am pleased that the pasta remains top notch. I had Pomodoro while she had Mushroom Truffle, then we shared an arugula salad which I really liked but she was not a fan of because mapait daw lol.

Things we did not plan the night we met up

Unplanned twinning. She laughed when she saw me because we were both wearing gray long sleeved shirts and black jeans. It was a wise decision not to wear my white converse (because I know we were going to walk a lot so I wore my Nike running shoes.) otherwise, we were gonna match as well. lol.

Unplanned coffee after movie. The movie ended around 2200H and we walked a couple blocks from Market! Market! to Pocofino in 5th ave. We had Iced Pocofino Latte as it is a best seller daw. Pretty disappointed though because it was a little too sweet for our preference. Around 2am, there was less crowd so we were able to take a few photos and they came out really cute. We left after because the cafe gets busier by the hour.

Unplanned walk around BGC. We went to Mcdonald's in BGC Stopover but sat by the benches in front because we were still full from dinner and already had coffee. There was a drunk girl being ushered by her friend to a grab car and she jokingly asked if I had ever been that drunk before. Told her I was the friend that ushers people into their rides lol.

Unplanned walk in the park. The crowd is starting to fill in so we walked towards Burgos Circle because it's one of the places I know that doesn't have much people at the wee hours of the morning. There were already a few people having their morning jog as it was already past 4am. Sat there with her until the skies turned from dark to light.

Unplanned breakfast. At around 0700H we decided to walk around a bit more because we haven't finished our conversation. Luckily, the Pancake House on 31st is already open so we had breakfast.

Unplanned PDA. Idk when it started or who initiated but for the past 5x that we met up, she has always been mindful with proximity because I have stated my aversion with physical contact. However, at Pocofino our fingers were touching and when we left the cafe, our hands were clasped together. Even leaned in and hugged at Pancake House. Idk what's happening. Help.

Unplanned confession hour. As someone who overthinks and overanalyzes things, I brought up the topic of our "friendship." You see, we met online in March 2023, back when I was grieving for a recently ended relationship and while that interaction was brief, it brought comfort. A few months later, in June, she messaged me again to see how I was doing and we have been in contact since. She was there on my drunk nights, on my unemployed nights, and even when I decided to date again and got into another relationship (that one ended a month and a half ago.) We finally met in person last June, then celebrated our birthdays together. (As I was dumped a week before my birthday.) and has been talking everyday since then.

I know it's too early, too soon, and just had to open the conversation about it. She said that she had always wanted me in her life but she isn't sure if we should take our relationship to another level because it might ruin our "friendship". She did make a lot of points but I'd say it's not much of a clarity so I told her that we might need to set some boundaries. She agreed then asked if I want to watch Mula sa Buwan this Sunday, September 1st. Hahahaha. Idk. All I know is I enjoy spending time with her but I am aware that I need more time on my own, especially since I have only been single for a month. Not closing any doors, but also not pursuing anything in the meantime. I just hope she stay in my life for a long time.

#kwento #food diary #coffee #prsnl #sine #lovechild #cinemalaya #bgc #confession hour #clingy natin pero friends lang tayo ew #ix

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catacamacat · 2 months ago

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OMG your art is so good!!

do you have any tips? painting apps sugestion? I'll take ANYTHING!!!

have a nice day (er... night)

Heyy

Thank you so much! Means a lot <3

(Literally a lot, like… you ask me? Me of all people?)

I’ll try my best, pls keep in mind that i’m not a professional or anything, I’m talking about my personal experiences. I hope I didn’t forget anything

(Edit: IM SO SORRY IT’S SO MUCH, I’ve been yapping for the past one and half an hour since 4AM ToT you don’t have to read everything ofc, I still hope that everything makes some sense 🥲)

I’ll put most of it under a cut :)

Painting apps:

I have always used procreate for my digital drawings, but there are many good cheap/ free alternatives.

Since our school uses IPads to work it installed “Sketchbook” on our devices, and even though you can’t use all of the pens without paying there should be more than enough for free (I’ve never used a digital pencil that has been so comfortable to draw with for example)

But my favorite is and will always be procreate

Time:

I’ve been drawing for a bit more than 6 years, and sometimes I’m still very insecure about most of my drawings, I mean that when I look at them I’m just not happy or I think it’s not good enough…

But I always keep in mind how freaking horrible, like for real horrendously bad my drawings were in 4th grade when I started, and then I’m pretty happy with how far I’ve come ^^

Just know that this feeling will probably always be there, no matter if you’re a beginner or a pro, idk it’s just from my perspective, everyone has their own experience.

Inspiration:

For me one of the most important/ helpful things is inspiration. I personally am often very energetic when it comes to drawing something that plopped up in my head, it just brings the fun, you know?

For me my biggest inspiration so far to draw is TMNT. And I mean it, I don’t just say that because I’m hyperfixated to them. Ever since I’ve discovered the turtles far more than a year ago, drawing has been the most fun thing in the world.

For me the turtles are incredibly fun to draw, there are so many possibilities since there are so many different versions of them, and four of them. I don’t think I could ever grow tired of drawing them, and I think nothing has ever improved my art as much as them since they are so much easier and fun to draw than humans (imo)

There was a time period that last until around three weeks ago where I didn’t really was in the tmnt fandom anymore, idk how that happened but I hope it will never happen again. Anyway, I was trying to draw in anime- style or something like that, and as far as I can remember it was really hard and for me not really fun/ felt forced. The turtles always look how they are supposed to look, but humans… nah —~—

What I want to say is that you should also find something that’s fun for you to draw and that fills you with inspiration and energy.

Quantity:

A tip from me: draw every day

(but include breaks when you need it)

Of course it’s not always possible, but since I heard that tip somewhere on YouTube (also a really good way to improve) a couple of years ago, I was never able to forget it. I mean I didn’t do it of course, but somehow it still helped… in a way…yk?

I mean there are always times where you don’t draw, maybe over weeks and even months during art block or other reasons, but the more often you draw, the better you become at it.

(Btw I personally believe it’s impossible to draw every day, for me at least. But i don’t know, that sentence never left my mind and I think there has to be some reason for it)

People:

It can be really helpful to have people you look up to, especially in the beginning, for example was I a really big fan of Skottie Young (still am) and that guy who drew some of the TMNT idw comics (forgot his name rn), and trying to draw somewhat like them for practice really helped me to get better. It also can be good to have people around you that are artists. Can be

And now something somewhat more complicated:

Be careful about the people you are surrounded with, because according to what kind of person you are, they can really, really make you feel shitty about how you draw, or maybe bring you to a point where you don’t feel joy when drawing at all

Here’s what I mean:

For example take me. I don’t know how many people feel this way, but I’m for some unexplainable reason completely “allergic” to criticism. I know it’s not a good thing, but I also know it’s not really my fault.

Every time I’m drawing something, I just want to have fun with it, and for me it’s the most important thing when I draw. And having people around me all the way that have studied drawing, criticizing my work and telling me what’s wrong, maybe even make fun of it it something I really, really can’t live with. Of course it can be a really good thing to take those criticisms, but for me it was/is just annoying, like REALLY annoying.

For a long time I couldn’t really draw anymore when someone of that people was sitting next to me, and there have been quite a few of them. It completely took the joy of drawing away from me, no one should let that happen to them. (Luckily it’s better now)

Idk if that what I intended to say was said… 🤷‍♀️

One last, the most important thing:

Always have fun with and enjoy drawing <3

Good day/night/or whatever 💜💜💜

#art #digital art

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