#it's like 2:48 pm on a tuesday by the time i'm writing this

[tmf-confessions]

confession #283

confession by @silver---stars

I don't actually like Jomiecule that much </3 do to hcs ofc, Would maybe ship it if like, my hcs were different

[blindrapture]

SATURDAY MAY 28TH, 2011 (Cipher For A Million Years)

7:10 AM MISTRESS, HOW ARE YOUUUUU? Um.. yeah, kinda.. bad time! don’twakeupdonniedon’twakeupdonniedon’twakeupdonnie "You made it to Blackpool, and in such record time! This is a nice town, isn't it? Have you been on the front yet? There's still loads of souvenirs, and no one to charge you money for them. There's even a working candy floss machine. Maybe I'll have you make me some sometime. Maybe later." It.. it is a nice town, yes! "I'm here to give you important information. There's a marketplace I want you to go to, you'll find it on your own, you'll know the place. I want you there on Tuesday, at 8 PM. I have a job for you." Oh.. okay. "See you, cutie." And she's gone. o_o That was.. particularly awkward for me, as Donnie's hugging me in her sleep. Goddamn, Jordan. You're either very lucky, or very unlucky. I have no idea anymore.

10:07 AM Had breakfast. Going for another walk. I asked the tropers about any nearby marketplaces, and there's a very prominent one nearby. Gonna check it out, see if there’s anything today.

10:45 AM The marketplace is quiet, no zombies anywhere or anything. There are countless stalls littered around, and very few are empty. …free stuff. :D

10:51 AM Ohhhh my god, CDs.

10:54 AM There was actually some good stuff there. Got Bonnjo Vjönsped’s Cipher for a Million Years (part one: Beacon and Forty Knights of Some Sort of Fluffy Texture) and some David Bowie.

10:59 AM ..huh. A poster. “MAY 31 @ 20:00 TVTROPES MEET-UP HERE” A troper meet-up. May 31st is.. I’m pretty sure that’s Tuesday. 20:00’s 8 o’ clock. Mistress was right. Shit. This is interesting.

1:12 PM Back at the house. Brought up the troper meet-up. Tropers 1 and 2 didn’t know about it. o_o

2:38 PM We're all sitting in the living room, drinking tea, eating crumpets, reading newspapers and books. Like nothing ever happened to the world. This.. pretty much is exactly why I wanted to come up here. It's about survival, but it's also about safety. Donnie's thankful to have somewhere safe, she gets it! And she's thankful she joined me on such a long journey. uwu If I can just.. deal with Mistress... then maybe this can be the new life for us? And if I can deal with her, then surely the governments and stuff can deal with the rest of it? ...Donnie's crossed her leg over mine. God, I've always wanted that.

4:40 PM During a lull in conversation about the places the tropers would have liked to have shown us if the town still worked, I asked what the others know about the rabbit holes. “They’re gateways to somewhere. Sometimes people come back from them.” That’s all they knew. I didn’t want to mention what Mistress told me, about how they caused this whole mess, how they’re growing. They’d wonder how I knew this. Donnie would, too. I can’t spill my secrets. In retrospect, I should probably be careful what I write, as well. But no one's trying to read my journals. I think people just.. assume it's The Thing I Do.

7:12 PM Blackpool's never this quiet in the summertime, it's a tourist town. Just goes to show how much a week of monsters changes. The internet’s finally gone down. I suppose that’s why there’s a troper meet-up going on here.

10:00 PM It’s hard to believe this apocalypse has been going on for over a week now. I just realized that.

10:27 PM You know what I’m in the mood for? Awake. Dream Theater. Specifically, “The Mirror.” >w>

10:28 PM DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. Puppies on Acid, motherfuckers.

10:45 PM Whoa, that was a loud noise.

10:46 PM THE ZOMBIES BROKE THE FRONT DOOR DOWN

10:48 PM EAT GUITAR CONTROLLERRRR

10:54 PM THEY’RE EVERYWHERE FUCK FUCK FUCK

10:55 PM They’re not even doing anything. They only attack when I do. They move when I do.

10:59 PM These zombies look really freaking creepy. Most of them don’t even look dead. Just.. high. They look brain-dead.

11:00 PM Wait, what. They’re leaving.

11:03 PM Each one is gone now; the house is completely deserted besides us living folk.

11:09 PM ..troper 2. Where’s troper 2?

11:11 PM We’ve looked all over, but he’s nowhere. I wish we knew where he was.

11:13 PM Donnie spotted him. He’s outside with the zombies. I’m gonna get him. I need something to do.

11:18 PM The zombies are all staring at me. They’re standing still, only turning to continue watching me as I go past. Troper 2 is stuck. He can’t move.

11:19 PM Fucking ropes or something, cable, something, wrapped around his leg. I’m gonna try to untie his That’s not around his leg. That’s in it. fuckmore of them in his arms torso head ZOMbies WAKING UP

11:30 PM Fuuuck goddammit. I’m in. Troper 2’s not; he vanished shortly after the zombies ‘woke up.’ I need to keep a record of this. The more we have written down, the better, right? Troper 2 was struggling, he said he couldn’t move. I checked it out and he had…. some.. things, like.. cables or something digging into various parts of his skin. Then the zombies woke up. They just all said “How do you do.” And next thing I know, they all raised their hands forward. Like.. like you expect zombies to do. They all reached for me. Fuck, that was very weird.

11:42 PM Donnie wants me in bed. Her exact words were “I want you to come to bed with me.” I don’t know if she’s just too tired to watch her words or what. I guess we’re gonna find out!

(Attached: “The difficulty of parsing a question mark in the spoken-word depends wholly on the speaker’s inflections and on context. For phrases commonly taken rendered as statements, the speaker needs to raise her or his inflection at the end of the phrase in order for a listener to infer an inquisitive nature. All of this is irritating enough without considering ambiguous or even cryptic phrases, a trait ridiculously common to we the lonely wanderers. Not normally common to Salmacis, but I guess at this point it had her hands full already. Join us next month for the episode on complex pronoun systems!”)

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[little-yla]

: : the right person ☆

————————————————————————

genre: fluff

warnings: nothing exc for a bit of cursing

word count: 963

a/n: my first time writing so please dont judge😭😭💔 if u liked this story, feel free to request more!! 🫂🫂 ( jeonghan is such a green flag )

this is part 1, part 2 is coming soon

You were paired up with Jeonghan for a math project, you didn't know much about him except for the fact that he was popular amongst the girls in school. He showed absolutely no interest in the girls, they thought he was into men because of that reason. Despite being absolutely gorgeous, you had no interest in him. You never saw what he had, you thought he was just a regular boy. Not until you were paired up together. That feeling ended quickly as soon as you interacted with him more. You finally understood everyone, but you had to clear your mind.

"Y/n, pair up with Jeonghan." your teacher says. You gasp as you saw your classmates glancing at you, they looked like they were about to chase you like a dog. You slowly walk to his table to have a chat about the project, being scared because of all the stares but you then get to his table. "You scared, huh?" Jeonghan asked, he could tell by your awkward face. You answered, "Well, you could say that, I guess." while giggling a little. He laughed at you, but he understood why. He gave you his number to ask for help, even for things other than the project.

You both discuss the project, and you catch yourself smiling the whole time while chatting with him. Were you developing feelings for him? But then the bell rings, it is time for you to go home. As soon as you got home, you had the urge to text him, but you noticed that he had texted you first.

jeonghan: hey, do u wanna meet up at the cafe near the town's library tmr?? so we can work and have little chats, it was fun

y/n: oh yeah suree, what time?

jeonghan: does 2pm sound good 2 u?

y/n: yep

jeonghan: alright c u tmr <33

Did he just give you a heart? Your heart was pounding so fast texting him, you figured it was because he was the first ever boy from school you texted. Well, you were wrong about that.

The next day, you woke up at 11:24 am. Your alarm was ringing so loud, but you quickly woke up as you remembered about the important meet-up. You greeted your cat, Toro, and got some milk from the fridge. You had some breakfast and took a shower, thinking about him every single second. Opening the closet was a bad choice, you did not think about what outfit you would wear, and you panicked so hard. It was 12:48 pm, you had 1 hour and 12 more minutes left, you couldn't possibly finish that fast. You chose to wear a cute dress with the cardigan your mom bought, and did your makeup a little faster than usual.

You drove to the cafe and saw him waiting for you, he waved as you saw him. "When did you arrive?" you asked, he had arrived at 1:30 pm. You apologized for being a little late. He replied, "It's fine, I wouldn't mind waiting longer for you." He surely was a sweetheart, a literal woman's dream. After discussing the project and finishing it, you guys decided to spend more time together. Were you really hanging out with the most popular boy?

You went to play games with him and found out he also played Valorant. He was happy he could find someone with the same interests as him. You found out he liked Bossa Nova and never dated once. "If you never dated anyone, then why don't you try dating someone that likes you?" you asked. He replied, "Well I'm waiting to find the right person for me, someone that likes me for me, not my looks." That got you interested in him, you wanted to find out more about him. After a long time of hanging out, you both went home.

jeonghan: heyy, i had fun w u today :)) lets hang out more

y/n: I AGREEEE, we should also vc and play valorant if u can

jeonghan: agreed, wanna hang out after school next week?

y/n: tuesday?

jeonghan: tuesday.

Wow, was he trying to test you? You had bad experiences with boys before meeting him, and you were hoping he wasn't like them. All I can say is that, I like him. You caught feelings for him, shocking. You had the urge to text him and call him. It felt too risky, you didn't want to seem obsessed. And again, he likes someone who likes him for him, not someone who craves looks.

A notification pops up, who is it from?

jeonghan: hey, wanna vc?? sorry if im asking u so late at night :(

y/n: nahh nw, lets call?

jeonghan: YAY

Your ringtone starts playing, seeing his name on the phone made your heart beat 10 times faster. Why was it easier to talk to him in real life? I can't even talk to him over the phone. You picked up the phone and heard his deep voice. "Sorry about my voice, I'm really tired right now." Jeonghan claimed. You replied, "Then why did you want to call me? You should go rest." He didn't want to rest, he wanted to call you and hear your voice.

You spent a few hours talking to eachother and playing games, hearing him curse for the first time. "Ohh, we're fucked. WAIT, I'M SORRY," Jeonghan panics, "You didn't hear that." You didn't mind, you revealed that you also cursed a lot. He was relieved, I'm guessing he has a curse buddy. Afterwards, you both decided to stop video calling and texted eachother instead.

jeonghan: thank u for today☹️☹️ i enjoyed it a lot

y/n: heyy dont worry ab it, u made today fun 😆☝

jeonghan: lets do this more, i dont need to stop my cursing for once

y/n: YKW ME TOO, everyone around me js hates the idea of cursing

jeonghan: well i get why, anyway see uuuu tmrr. sleep well and goodnight

y/n: gooodd night <33

[fenimores-book-nook]

>> Self care writing ~ Day 6 <<

November 21st, 2023, Tuesday

My Day so far: 6:30 am ~ Wake up, do some yoga, read the latest Heartstopper episode on Webtoon, get dressed for the day. 7:00 am ~ Leave for work, open the shop at 8, make some coffee for myself, shelf books, eat breakfast, do work around the store. 1:00 pm ~ Get off work, head to the library to do some writing. 1:57 pm, Now ~ Do some notebook-journaling and work on day 6 of self care writing. ;)

I haven't done much today other than work, unreasonably freak out over a Walmart order*, read, and write. :)

*I was trying to order The Hunger Games movies and I accidentally put curbside pickup which I did not want to do. So I was going to pass time at the library but when I arrived here, I got a notification saying that it's available for free shipping, so we're doing that instead. :,) It's kind of funny how antisocial and introverted I can be when I literally work in customer service. But it's fine. I still love my job.

What I have planned for the rest of my day: 2:15ish pm ~ Leave the library, grab some lunch, and head home to relax. At home ~ I want to do some more reading, hopefully get through *at least* two chapters of Iron Flame. I also need to keep reading my book club book since I'm only like one-hundred pages in (or less) and it's next week. But who are we kidding? I will probably end up reading The Baby-Sitters Club. I also would LOVE to finally decorate my room for Christmas but I've been lacking the motivation to do so. But who knows? Maybe I'll have a burst of energy to start it today. 6:00 pm ~ Leave again and head to my friend's house so we can carpool to a play that our high school is putting on. We graduated this year, but we always love showing our support for our friends and I also just love going to productions*. 7:00 pm ~ Watch the play. :)

*I've really realized how much I love going to different kinds of productions after graduating from high school. I've been to a couple of my brother's college concerts and a musical his college put on; and I loved all of them very much. :) Honestly, I think the realization really bloomed after I saw Hamilton in person. Which was AMAZING. I was so happy that I started crying when they started singing the opening song. :,)

So for now, I think I'll do some morning journaling prompts and call a break. :) (technically afternoon prompts but it's fine)

(pinterest, of course)

I'm grateful for my love for my hometown, it definitely wasn't always this strong, but it got there. For my two-day break from work this week. :) That I really enjoy doing my self care writings. The Hunger Games series, heehee. And for the magic of books that I'm in love with.

I have the intention for today to be a relaxing, yet productive day. I wanna get some things done (like I am right now!) but also be able to just relax too.

I want to be good to myself. Not make myself feel guilty for taking the time to rest, even if it means I don't get something done that I've been meaning to (I have time). For others, I want to be able to be a caring person that they might need. Even if it's in small ways.

I'm doing great right now! There is no need to compare different versions of myself, but what is important is to really see how far I've come and be proud of that. <3

~

Flash forward quite a bit! 11:48 pm, yep, it's a late night tonight. I came home from the play I mentioned earlier around 11. No, the play didn't go until then, I went with a friend and we ended up meeting another friend and just having our normal shenanigans. :) Which was quite a lot of fun. And the play. THE PLAY. It was just so incredible, I loved it so, so much. It was a reality show but with Greek gods. Pretty fantastic, I know.

Since it is almost tomorrow, I'm gonna jump to some night self care things, from the same one as before. ;)

I started decorating my room for Christmas!! And I got writing done at the library like I intended on doing.

How much I love the library and how I can spend hours there. <3

A bit about Greek gods. Like how Zeus and Hera were siblings but they were together. Eeshk.

I felt happy and sentimental.

Some lack of motivation and my I-want-to-live-in-a-cottage-in-the-woods-alone-part of me at some moments.

Putting too much trust into things at a certain time. It's okay. It doesn't mean I'm stupid or naive. I just care a lot and that's okay.

And of course fanart from pinterest of The Owl House, to say goodnight. (cuz they are the cutest & I love them)

Until next time,

Thalia <3

[scoups4lyfe]

Journal Entries (3)

These are all mood journal entries (so super short / concise) of mine; where I chart my daily moods over a period of time.

These go up to when I stopped mood journaling

(which I didn't start doing again until this last month or so, why I stopped? I don't know I was hypomanic-manic from OCT 2021 up to a majority of 2022; and got caught up in life that I forgot to mood journal. That -- and a lot o the time I felt I was doing "good" and when I'm doing good I forget to journal....lol. Anyways, seeing as I was hypomanic for months on end I, uh....wasn't as 'good' as I thought I was hghgnhghngh.) )

Part: [1], [2], [3], [4] Bipolar PPT Essay: [1], [2], [3], [4], {5}, [6]

ok.

Wednesday August 4th 2021 (43rd)

took meds: yes (8:45 AM) 

Mood: 8/10

Energy: 7.7/10 (8:46am) 

Woke up at 6AM 

(2:43 PM: I still feel pretty good. Mood: 8/10, energy: 7.5/10) :))

I got a lot of work done today: reading, writing, exercising, turning in a job app >:))

...

Friday August 6th 2021 (45th) (2nd) 

taken 2 meds: yes x2 (9:48 am) 

(10:30 am) m: 6.5/10  e: 6.2/10 

(1:33pm) Had 1 shot of espresso in my frapp and dawg. If Jaemin gets

three shots of espresso homie really do be on another plane of existence.

(2 pm) m: 8/10  e: 7.8/10

(5:49 pm) m: 8/10 e: 7.8/10

Did you get work done? Baby you got 8/10 of your work done. 

Overall day: Amazing. Brilliant. Fantastic. My crops are watered.

...

Tuesday Aug 10th 2021 (49th) (6th)

taken 2 meds? Yes (11:20 am) 

Broooo I couldn’t fall asleep until 5:30am last night and had to be up by 9:30am for my food sensitivity appointment. Rippppp. I feel like crap. I should’ve taken a melatonin. 

...

Saturday Aug 14th 2021 (53rd) (10th)

taken two meds? Yes (1:07pm)

M:6/10  e:6/10 

I feel nice, pretty normal, a little wired sometimes. I was somewhat productive.

....

Monday Aug 16th 2021 (55th) (12th)

took 2 meds? Yes (6:32 pm) 

I don’t really feel good so I’m gonna try and go to sleep (it’s 9:50 pm).

Last night / these last few days I’ve been having trouble sleeping :(. 

...

Thursday Aug 19th 2021 (58th) (15th)

took two meds? YES (12:20 pm) 

Broooooo I read and read and didn’t stop reading yesterday. Exactly 24 hrs or a bit more—  solidly awake. 

...

Sunday Sept 5th 2021 (74th) (31st) 

took two meds? YES.(12:35 pm) 

Mood: 2/10. Energy: —— 

No will to do anything. Didn’t want to even get out of bed. Taking my meds helped, but I still didn’t want to do anything and slept all day. 

...

Tuesday Sept 7th 2021 (76th) (33rd) 

took two meds? YES (3:49 PM) 

The no energy/mood to do anything continues.

...

Wednesday Sept 8th 2021 (77th) (34th)

took two meds? YES (7:35 PM) 

I slept mostly all day when I didn’t need to…but now I feel a lot better than I did previously? 

...

Thursday Sept 9th 2021 (78th) (35th)

took two meds? YES (9:52 pm) 

Got obsessive with reading and lost sight of reality 

...

?????

NOTE: I black-out from thursday the 9th to Saturday the 11th. I don't remember sh*t that happened at all between that time, hence the '?????' -- Which was actually written down on my phone in the mood journal (LOL)

...

Saturday Sept 11th 2021 (79th) (36th)

took two meds? YES (1:36 pm) 

Hmm I feel okay? Maybe a bit tired. 

...

Sunday Sept 12th 2021 (80th) (37th) 

took two meds? YES (2:17 pm) 

I got some work done. But I’m still not in the realm of reality, it seems.

...

Friday Sept 17th 2021 (85th) (42nd) 

took two meds? YES (5:51 pm)

Really struggling to get work done, but I at least did a little bit today. (Seeing as I haven’t done sh*t in like 10 days :///) 

...

Saturday Sept 18th 2021 (86th) (43rd)

took two meds? YES (5:51pm) 

Got a shit ton of work done both with writing and I did all of my laundry!!

...

Tuesday Sept 21st 2021 (88th) (45th)

took two meds? YES 

(Basically skipped Monday cause I slept through Monday …) 

...

Monday: Oct 18th 2021 (115) (72)

took two meds? YES (12 pm) 

For the last two weeks I’ve slept only 4 hours each night. Sometimes less. But I’m not tired? 

...

Monday Oct 25th 2021 (122) (79)

took two meds? Yes (11:46 am) 

I slept perhaps 2 hrs last night (9am to 11:30 am) but God is with me and I feel good and awake. So praise God. Thank you Lord, Amen. <333

Mood: 7.5/10. Energy:7.5/10 

[End of Mood Journal Entries]

NOTE: Moving forward the rest of the entries are from my journal and then my online journal -- the mood journaling only continues around OCT and NOV of 2022

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