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iscribble · 5 years ago

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the gist of change (m)

pairing: jeon wonwoo x fem!reader synopsis: you despise change and how it transforms him, how it turns him into a stranger and how it blights your relationship, but you are changing too, and only after accepting that, will you finally realise that change isn’t so bad after all. genre(s): angst, fluff, friends to lovers, contains smut (sex without condom), profanities word count: 5,734

There was an unfathomable piece of Wonwoo that had you addled for months. As a seven year old, you couldn’t comprehend how one could wallow in the unnumbered pages of a classical book and come out in fine fettle. You hated books, at least, when you were seven. You preferred building forts and frolicking on the earth and hence Wonwoo and his odd interests had you questioning about yours.

You thought it was an eight year old thing. Maybe they all favoured books like Mark Twain’s. Maybe they all preferred a long stretch of a week at home to enclose themselves from the frenzied reality. Maybe they all seemed ignorant and shy — disregarding strangers and delaying their footfalls, sometimes dragging one foot after another a little too sluggishly. And you thought you’d become the person Wonwoo had been when you turned eight.

But nothing proved you right. As you blew the candles on your cake, Wonwoo blew his and nothing happened. You were still you and you still despised books. Wonwoo was still that lukewarm, silent boy with an occasional smile you prayed would show more often.

As a child, you were unequivocally the contradictory of reticent. You were expansive, inclined to chitchatting, like a jukebox blaring music that impairs your hearing. Your teachers would call out your name no less than twice a day, you being the dynamic person you were never wanting to silence yourself for more than five ticks of the clock. Learning that Wonwoo was the opposite of you left you questioning the world why he would even pass his time with you.

Maybe it was because you had more than a similarity. His hair was a striking shade of darkened brown and so was yours. You both fancied the butter pecan ice cream that you would often get at the ice cream parlour just a few meters away from your neighbourhood. You went to the same kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, even high school.

Maybe it was because your parents were friends. Being the good neighbours they were, they never hesitated on dropping by each other’s homes and offer a cookie or two.

Maybe it was inevitable. You lived right across each other so it’d be weird not to become friends. This could only mean Wonwoo had been forcing himself to endure you and your persistent nagging, you and your toothless smiles, and that he did not like them. That was what you thought.

Maybe this, maybe that. The thing is, you never considered this possibility: maybe, just maybe, he was in love with you.

After Wonwoo graduated high school, things were no longer the same. You started seeing him less. He couldn’t walk you home like he used to as your schedule did not match his. His balcony window had become seldom open, you couldn’t interface with Wonwoo like you used to until the skies were virtually void of light.

What surprised you the most, though, was his change in personality.

You weren’t new to the general image of parties — which people seemed to greatly love — but you’ve never been to a real one before. Naturally, you were bewildered. You were a social butterfly and you loved hanging out with your friends, weren’t you supposed to fancy parties?

Wonwoo here, had been dealing with a case that wasn’t entirely different from yours. The only difference was that unlike you, he seemed to be enjoying his brand new character. There wasn’t a single hint of vexation from knowing he had long gone from his “self-effacing” epithet. Wonwoo attended parties, big or small. He loved to hang out with girls he barely knew and sneak them into his house at night, absolutely unknowing of your attention. He stopped reading. He no longer used glasses to observe minute letters, rather, he used it for fashion. He became hardly ever at home, nor at the ice cream parlour you used to go to together. You both acted like you didn’t know each other. Worse, like you never knew each other.

To put it simply, you had become who Wonwoo was and he had become who you were in your youthful days.

Which was why you were currently doing your utmost to have at least a little taste of fun amidst the blinding lights flaring at different places. You squinted at the streak of light that hit your eyes for a brief second before opening them to see Soonyoung making his way to you.

“So? Whaddya think?” The words that were easily slurred from the generous amount of alcohol Soonyoung had been consuming travelled to your ears like a soothing melody against a background of obnoxious jabber and raucous strains of techno music.

“Oh thank goodness you’re here,” you dragged Soonyoung toward the corner, ignoring the incoherent cavils spewing out of his mouth.

“The corners are reserved for people making out,” Soonyoung grumbled, “we shouldn’t be here, unless you wanna make out with me.” He wiggled his eyebrows and puckered his lips, enjoying his time teasing you and witnessing your ears go a prominent tinge of red and your face covered in disgust.

“Shut up, I wanna go home.” You removed the glass of whiskey hanging in his fingers and attempted to push him through the crowd of wasted folks drinking their night away.

“Hell no,” he resisted and turned to you, “if you’re going home this early, you’re going home alone lady.”

“I’m okay with that,” Soonyoung’s garbled utterance was more than music to your ears. You thought he would’ve had stopped you from leaving the place. You didn’t mind walking alone, especially if it meant escaping the unruly atmosphere you were desperate to get rid of. “See you around, Soonyoung.”

The quiet stroll to your house ameliorated the thoughts that contorted in your head like a flummoxed mess. You never wanted to go to any party again, ever. It sure did seem like a diverting idea when Soonyoung first asked to bring you with him to the party. You thought you still had that jaunty spirit in you that you could hopefully bring out once you met new people. But you’ve never been more wrong. You were no longer the person you used to be, and you knew you had to accept that. So you did.

The neighbourhood was as still as a dead city. The wall mounted lights on most of the houses were out, with only a few lampposts still dimly lit, incandescing across the bare street. If it hadn’t been for the sudden clacking of heels you heard around the corner, you wouldn’t have gotten out of your trance before you arrived home.

“Careful, we don’t wanna attract attention.”

The voice stung. It hit your ears and it stung so bad, you wanted to cover them. It stung how long you haven’t heard from him. It stung how his voice flooded you with memories you wanted to forget. It stung how his voice was not meant for you. It stung how much you missed him.

“You’re so naughty, you know that Wonwoo?”

He was with someone else. It was almost always a different girl every week. It had become a habit of his but you would be lying if you said you were nearly unfazed by his actions. You were far from unfazed.

However, tonight was different. You weren’t bordered by the large pane of glass in which you sat behind every night, wondering if he would bring a different girl, and locking your eyes close when he finally did. You weren’t observing the scant details from a distance, where it was safe enough for you to not be seen. But tonight was different, because little did you know, you weren’t going to go unnoticed.

Wonwoo and the girl arrived at his driveway, missing their footing while holding on to the kiss they shared. In the blink of an eye, you were homing in on your footsteps, making sure you would not make a sound. You didn’t, but that did not mean Wonwoo overlooked your presence.

Like every time he admired you when your eyes were concentrated on something else. Like every time he found you when you strayed in a crowd. Like every time he caught you when you wanted to surprise him for his birthday. He noticed you as long as your breaths mingled in the same air, whether or not you wanted him to.

His eyes were still as you remembered. His dark orbs shone through the murk of the night, tinted with lust. They met yours, but they grew shy. They grew so timid and then there was this look on his face that reminded you both that you knew each other. You still do.

“Y/n,” he spoke in a raspy voice. You forced a smile and inclined your head. Availing yourself of formalities made it much easier to submerge the uncertainty of your relationship with Wonwoo, making it seem like you didn’t know each other that well.

“Hey, don’t mind me,” You buried your covetous tone beneath a layer of pretend ignorance. You didn’t want to ruin the moment for them. “I’m just heading home.”

“Why are you walking alone?” Wonwoo’s voice felt so unfeigned, you wanted to believe he still cared about you, but you couldn’t. At least, not for the girl he was with.

“Oh,” you shrugged, “my friend wasn’t gonna leave the party yet, so I just decided on going back alone. It’s nothing.” You lied. You knew it was something to him.

The faint ire in his eyes reminded you of the time he scolded you for walking on your own one night. He completely hated it. You thought he was just being a big brother to you. But that was years ago. Now, Wonwoo had to conceal his concern, because at this short-lived moment, you weren’t the same to each other anymore.

“Oh, well,” Wonwoo swallowed his regard. He didn’t know what to say. He would always leak out profound phrases like I’ll see you tomorrow! but knowing the circumstances, you doubt the words were even on the tip of his tongue.

Instead, he decided on an I’ll see you around, y/n.

You laughed inwardly. Wonwoo was a coward, and both of you knew that well.

At this time on most nights, you’d be propped against the large window, heaving a desolate sigh of longing as your eyes fixated on Wonwoo across your home.

His house used to be a place of frequent jollity. His parents would throw big birthday parties for you and him during your childhood days, although you and Wonwoo didn’t enjoy it as much and preferred to kill time in his vest-pocket bedroom. When he dropped you off at your house after school, Wonwoo’s mother would sometimes clap her eyes on you and insisted you had snacks and a glass of milk at his, in which you would gleefully accept every time, with sweat running down your temple from the soaring heat. You would stay there until your parents came knocking at his door, and even before you left, Wonwoo would always steal a chance to settle a wet kiss on your cheek.

Then, you were both finally grown enough to realise that kisses weren’t always meant to be platonic. Little by little, he stopped furnishing you with affection, and little by little, your visits to his house drew up.

Now, as you wishfully stared at his window, eyes brimming with sentimentality, you could only make out the nebulous sight of bodies rubbing against each other, the memories of your childhood and adolescence completely casted away.

The snugness from your bed sheets latched onto your rundown, delicate bones, providing just the right amount of warmth to keep you in bed. You could definitely do that, with barely anything to do today. As if that wasn't unusual enough, the doorbell quite abruptly rang its way to the solace of your bedroom so early in the morning. Mere minutes later, a subtle knock came on your door.

“Hey, Wonwoo’s here, said he wants to talk to you.” Your mother primed you before you could walk out with your hair sticking out in all directions. “Go get changed. You can’t see an awfully handsome boy like that.”

“Oh shut up mom.” You threw a pillow at her. More than you were confused, you were relieved you didn’t have anything to do today. Seeing Wonwoo right now was one hell of a job to you.

Wonwoo’s back was facing you as you descended down the stairs. His tousled hair appeared on your vision, softly sitting on his head like a plate of velvety marshmallows. Running your fingers through his strands would be pleasing, you thought. Then again, you’ve done it several times. Just not the way it would feel like if you were to do it now.

“There she is.”

He turned to look at you. Now that the sun was up and the lights were on, you could finally take a good look at him. You were surprised at how he still managed to look decent after a rough night. His lips were a tad bruised and patent dark circles were surfacing under his eyes, but it only made him look even more approachable. Wonwoo gave you a smile that conveyed so much more than you’ve ever asked for. It was evocative. You hated the feeling.

“Hey,” you replied to his smile.

“Pumpkin,” he grinned. Pumpkin. It was a nickname he had for you back in the days. He might have called you that on most occasions but the immense time gap from then made hearing him say that now seem so offbeat.

“What’s up?” you skipped to him and threw your arms around his torso in a quick hug, sighing in ease when his arms wrapped around your shoulders.

“Have you not been growing taller or am I just too tall?” He noted the height difference you had now. There was a period of time in your life when you were taller than Wonwoo. You took advantage of that, teasing him for the books he couldn’t reach, and always dropping the infamous rhetorical question of how’s the weather down there? Though, when puberty hit him, your stilettos couldn't even level your heights.

“Shut up, doofus.” you playfully slapped his arm. “Anyway, what is it that you want to talk to me about?”

“Oh,” he scratched his nape, “I was hoping I could talk to you in private.”

“Oh, no worries.” You tried to keep your tone as calm as you could but your nerves were bugging you to ask him why. “let me just get my toast real quick.”

You scrambled for your toast on the kitchen counter and took a bite with a loud crunch that you swore would have had your mouth watering if someone else had done that. You quickly headed upstairs after shouting a we’ll be back! to your parents, with wonwoo treading on your heels.

As soon as you got to your room, you closed the door behind you, trying to make some sense out of the situation and wondering what he might want to talk to you about, although you had an idea already.

“Hey,” he started, “what you saw yesterday..” You were right. He was going to talk about that. “It’s not what you think it is.”

“Okay, but why are you telling me this?” Although you cared, you didn’t know why he thought he was obliged to explain it to you. You weren’t in a relationship, and you knew well he gets to make decisions on his own although not any of them ever made you genuinely satisfied. "I mean, it’s not like we’re dating or something.”

“Yeah,” he uttered under his breath, “but I just figured you should know. I mean, we’re friends aren’t we?”

The word sent you chills. Of course you were friends. But would a friend abandon the other just to hook up with some random girl? Would a friend leave you for years and then just come back like nothing happened?

“I don’t know Wonwoo,” you sat on the windowsill, your fingers tracing the remnants of rain lingering on the external surface, “we haven’t talked for, I don’t know, two years? It's weird enough cause our houses are right in front of each other’s.”

“It’s not like you cared. If you were bothered by it so much why didn’t you just come to mine?”

You were appalled. You spent every month looking outside your window, contemplating if you should approach him and start rekindling you relationship. But every time you convinced yourself you would, he walks into view with a different girl, shattering your hope of reviving what you had. It’s not like you cared, he said.

“You bring a girl to your room, fuck her and leave her in the morning. Every time I thought it was over and I could finally talk to you, you bring a different girl and fuck her again.” You conveyed your anger through gritted teeth. “Oh, you thought I hadn’t noticed all this time? Well guess what, I spend my nights staring at your window hoping that you could see me but all I can see is the mere sight of you fucking. So fuck you, Wonwoo.”

Horror was smeared all over his face. You knew you gave away too much, leaving him no time to even process it all. Blood started to collect in your ears, the sudden surge making you feel uneasy. Maybe you had gone too far? But truth be told, you didn’t care. You had to let it out.

There wasn’t a single word that withdrew from his lips before you finally couldn’t stand holding back your tears.

“Just, go, Wonwoo.” You croaked. “You’re right, I don’t care.” You lied again.

For a moment, no sound ricocheted off the walls, leaving both of you in a deafening stillness. When you were about to tell him to leave once more, you felt his hand snake around your neck, pulling you close for a kiss on your forehead. He stroked your hair for a bit and then left your room, the sudden emptiness overflowing in you when you could no longer feel his tender fingers.

Well, what could you expect? That was Wonwoo. The quintessence of making you feel whole and then leaving you, just like that.

Change.

You had accepted change. You had accepted that you weren’t the person you used to be, and so have you accepted that Wonwoo wasn’t too. Although it quite immensely saddened you, you have accepted the girls he had sex with, the parties he’d attended, places he’d gone to without you. You had accepted that you and him were never going to be the same anymore, let alone be more than that.

A week has passed since Wonwoo had snuck a girl into his bedroom. Maybe he felt guilty and self-conscious now that he knew you were always looking out of your window. Still, you had not exchanged apologies. Your relationship had been fragmented and as much as it wounded every part of you, you didn't want to think about it for too long.

“Pick me up in an hour.” You told Soonyoung through the phone as your toothbrush dangled between your teeth. You hung up before he could say anything.

You may have accepted everything, but there was still bleakness left in you that needed to be drowned in a round of drinks and ludicrous dancing.

“So, you’re really gonna do this again huh?” Soonyoung laughed at you as took a seat beside him in his car. “Just don’t ask me to leave early if you’re going to.”

You snorted and heaved a weighty breath. You didn’t want to think about Wonwoo anymore and if anyone in the world could do that, it was Soonyoung. Taking you to a party. You didn’t know where the night would take you but at least your mind would be barren of Wonwoo, only the very taste of alcohol lingering in your tongue. “Promise, Soon.”

Seungcheol’s house was fairly remote from yours. He was a high school friend of yours and Wonwoo’s. Although you made no intention of keeping in touch with him, Soonyoung did, which was why he knew about the party at his place.

“We’re here.” Soonyoung beamed with vim. The house was teeming with people you didn’t know. You came in with Soonyoung by your side, tugging on his sleeve lightly when you felt like he was going to dash off without you.

As the night progressed, you unsurprisingly found yourself bored. You had managed to talk to the people you knew from high school, always noting the stunned look on their faces when they noticed you were here, as if questioning if you had finally plucked up the courage to leave your books.

The first time You noticed that Wonwoo had changed — and that you had too — was when you artlessly refused to go to a party Wonwoo had asked you to come to in high school. You were nonplussed at the fact that you didn’t wanna exchange studying for socialising, while Wonwoo was the one who did. Back during middle school, you were always the one to plead him to go to the ice cream shop, while he insisted on indulging in his books. It was then you had realised you’d changed, for the better or the worst you still didn’t know.

You took one last sip of your tequila and left the house just a little drowsy. You texted Soonyoung that you had left a little earlier and took a cab.

Your brow was pressed to the cold surface of the window, eyes darting anywhere between the walls of your vision. The skies had gone ill-lit, the only source of light being the silver celestial body that dwarfed all the tiny fragments of luster that surrounded it. As the taxi slowed to a stop before the traffic lights, you narrowed your eyes at the figure sitting on the bench near the lights. His head was buried in the palm of his hands, his dark locks swaying to the unhesitating stirring of the wind.

“Wonwoo..” you whispered to yourself.

Stepping out of the cab, you sighed. The solitary air that besieged him made your heart pang. You couldn’t tell if he had just gotten out of a party like you did, that he had drunk too much alcohol, or if he was just taking a walk around, but you doubted the latter. When high school came, he started failing to resist company from his friends, always uncovering things to do besides studying, always trying so hard to not be alone. Yet there he was, accepting the company of nothingness inundating his body.

You continued staring at him from a distance, pondering over whether you should approach him. But you were here now, out of the cab that was about to take you straight home. So maybe that was your decision after all.

And like every other time, he noticed you. Because as long as your breaths mingled in the same air, he would always know you were there.

The puff of wind that hugged your frame was bitterly cold, but as soon as you sat next to him, his warmth raced to you.

You could have looked at each other, taking in the sight full of substance and value, yet both of your gazes were locked at the fatuous view of the wet pavement.

A minute or two was spent without any of you saying anything. For one moment you just wanted silence to consume the both of you. You wanted to forget everything that happened between the two of you.

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo cried faintly, “I know I messed us up.” You could feel everything. The unfriendly breeze stinging your fingertips, the brush of your hair against your cheek, the material of your dress getting too tight around your waist, and the sincerity in his voice. Especially, the sincerity in his voice.

“I’m sorry too,” you replied with a hint of sadness, “I had no right telling you those things. You make your own choices, not me, and it’s not like I couldn’t find any friend besides you.”

Wonwoo chuckled in his deep-toned voice.

“I guess it did suck,” you continued, still not satisfied with what you said, “it really sucked to see you bring other girls to your house. I missed hanging out with you, but I’d like to remind myself that I’ve changed too.”

You sat in silence. You hoped you made yourself clear. You wanted to convey how much it saddened you that he took advantage of his clubbable side to shatter your heart without even realising it.

When the subtle rise and fall of the wind was the only thing you could hear, you looked at Wonwoo, only to find him already staring at you. You were so close that you could feel his breath fanning your skin. The dark circles beneath his eyes stood clearer now, the bruises that formed on his lips were yet to fade.

Wonwoo was a clumsy child. He had tripped on nothing several times, spilled milk all over him, accidentally got punched by a friend for not watching where he was going. And every time bruises would form on his face, you would caress it so delicately, all the while admiring how he still managed to look good.

So tonight, you found yourself doing just that. Your hand unconsciously lifted to brush against his dry lips. And just like the old days, he leaned into your touch, never realising how much he missed you until this moment. Wonwoo's lips were so cracked and dry that even he felt he needed moisture, and what better moisture could he get in the middle of nowhere other than your plump lips?

Wonwoo leaned in to kiss your lips, slowly moving against them while you remained still. After a while you got used to his warmth and started adjusting your lips to capture his perfectly. Wonwoo pulled you closer by your cheek and gave your lips a swift taste of his tongue, before starting to kiss you amorously.

Surprised by his eagerness, you pulled away. “Wonwoo, you can't just kiss me like that. I'm not like the girls you bring to your bedroom every night.”

Wonwoo leaned in for another kiss but you avoided his lips. “Wonwoo, I'm serious.”

Wonwoo plainly huffed and continued to stroke your cheek that had begun to turn pink. “I've always loved you, y/n. I always have. But we were so different and I was almost so sure you wouldn't return my feelings. So I tried to change, for you. I wouldn’t have known I would actually enjoy the new me, but you didn’t seem to. So ultimately I just opted to forget you.”

You felt tears accumulate in your eyes. You were relieved, to say the least, that he had done all of that not because he didn’t care, but because he cared too much and tried not to anymore. “By screwing everyone except me?”

Wonwoo released a chortle and you shyly smiled. “Pumpkin, you never even accepted when I invited you to Seungcheol's parties, how would I even have sex with you?”

You laughed heartily.

“Besides, I would never want to ruin my little girl like that. I'd only do it if you wanted to.”

He took the curving of your lips into a smile as his cue to resume kissing you, so he did. With every little taste you get of his tongue, your kisses grew sloppier and even more passionate. Frankly, neither of you cared if people were watching.

“Do you want to?” He asked in between your kisses.

“Want to what?” You pulled back and looked at him, confused.

He slipped a strand of hair behind your ear. “Make love to me, pumpkin.”

“What, like right here?”

“Answer me.” Wonwoo insisted, a slight smirk creeping up to his face.

Wonwoo understood the look of ecstasy on your face without you having to say anything. He picked you up, locking your legs behind his torso while you continued to deepen the kiss.

Wonwoo's legs were quick to carry you to the dark alleyway, eyes never leaving yours as he relied on his senses. He put you down slowly while cornering you to the wall, finally breaking the kiss.

“Is this gonna be your first time?” He spoke in a low voice, one that made you crazy, while securing his hands on your waist.

You nodded in embarrassment. “Be gentle, please.”

He made sure you saw his smirk before whispering to you that you had nothing to worry about.

Wonwoo's hands made their way under your sundress and slipped off the panties you had on. You shuddered at the cold pressing against your folds. His dangerous eyes were still on you as he rubbed your folds with his colder fingers. His smirk grew wider as he realised you were already wet. You started breathing heavily.

Wonwoo locked your lips together, his tongue moving against yours to distract you. He slid in one digit inside you that made you whine during the kiss. You were foreign to the feeling but Wonwoo made it so easy for you to adjust, hushing your quick whimpers with his own hot breath against yours.

As soon as he felt you were warmed up enough, he slid one more finger inside you, scissoring you open. You retreated from the kiss, leaning your head back against the wall as you released a solid gasp. Wonwoo caressed your cheek with his free hand, assuring you it's going to be alright. You looked at him, still panting. You believed him.

He started rubbing on your clit in slow circles. You squeezed his shoulder and moaned a little louder this time which earned a chuckle from Wonwoo. His thumb started going faster as he sucked on your neck, planting darkened purple marks all over.

The more you felt you were close, the slower Wonwoo got which absolutely irritated you. Just as you were about to complain, he pulled his fingers out of you, leaving you clenching around nothing.

“What the hell Wonw-” He forced you around and lifted your sundress, revealing your bare ass. He pulled your hips roughly against him, releasing a groan when you made contact with his crotch. He quickly unzipped his pants and let it slide down. Wonwoo lowered his boxers, setting his already hard member free.

He placed his hand over yours on the wall, while his other hand held your waist.

“Don't be vocal, or you'll attract attention.” Even without looking at him you could tell he had a simper on his face. Without warning he slid into you, slowly but fulfillingly, as you discarded your intention of not making any sound.

“Oh fuck.” you breathed out. You continued to moan out loud as he slipped in and out of you at a steady pace, every time perfectly hitting your sweet spot.

Wonwoo too, could not resist his moans. He groaned as he felt your walls clench tighter around him, tugging your waist closer to him as he fucked you harder and faster than before.

“I'm c-close,” you stuttered, panting heavily.

“Me too.” Wonwoo threw his head back as he controlled your hips, pushing into you as fast as he could as both of you chased your highs.

Wonwoo came first, his cum leaking all over and running down your leg. You came seconds after him, trying to control your breathing. Wonwoo made sure you took in all of his cum with a little rough thrust inside you that made you cry. You'd become so sensitive.

“Fuck, you feel so good baby.” He pulled out of you and fixed his pants. You were still overwhelmed by the feeling. You had yet to straighten your body because you were so focused on getting your breathing back to normal.

“Pumpkin, you okay?” He held your waist, slowly turning you around to face him. He admired your face that had gone crimson, your eyes still watery. He pulled you in for a momentary kiss. “You look so beautiful.”

You smiled at him while still gasping for air. He kissed you again and again and again.

“You had better come up with a realistic explanation as to why I suddenly cannot walk, Wonwoo,” you said jokingly, “and don't leave me like you left those other girls now that you're done fucking me.”

Wonwoo raised an eyebrow. “Who said I was done making love to you sweetheart?”

Your mouth hung open as you stared at him in incredulity. "I cannot believe you, Jeon Wonwoo.” You said as he lifted your chin up, planting a kiss on your lips that had started to bleed.

Getting your parents’ permit for Wonwoo to stay the night at your place was considerably easy as you basically grew up together.

The lustful night filled with dangerous moans that coalesced into love advanced with your hips locked together, his body grinding against yours, making love to you sensually but most importantly sincerely. You were the girl that he loved, always have been and always will be.

The tenderness of his hand that kept rubbing circles on your stomach woke you up, the rays of the sun almost instantly blinding you as your eyes inched open. You turned around to face him. He was smiling at you, subtly at first, but after you noticed him, his pearly whites became manifest.

“You're still here?” You let out a quip with a big yawn.

“What do you mean I'm still here?” He scoffed and proceeded to pepper the violet bruises on your collarbones with his warm, slow kisses. “I'll never leave you pumpkin.”

“Good,” you sighed contently. “I thought you'd treat me like those gir-”

He hushed you with a sweet kiss on your lips.

“I love you, pumpkin. As much as you change or as much as I change, one thing that has survived the turmoil in our lives and one thing that would never change, is my love for you.”

Maybe, just maybe, change isn't so bad after all.

377 notes · View notes

jj-ktae · 5 years ago

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·9· Omniscient - Prompt Game -

Title : Omniscient Pairing : Park Jinyoung x Fem!Reader Genre : Ennemies to lovers, fluff, angst. Words : 2588 Summary : Jinyoung has always been here, aware and knowing of everything about you. You can’t stand his pettiness and judgemental stare but when you hear about him moving abroad, you agree to work for his uncle’s company. You don’t expect him to come back and make your life miserable again.

Prompt :

11. “Oh, how I wonder why you’re so annoying yet so attractive.” 32. “Then just kiss me…”

Omniscient

He is back.

Out of everyone you don’t wish to see, the worst of them is before you. He makes you take a deep breath and close your eyes, doing your best not to burst out in tears because of course it could only be him.

Why the fuck did you accept the job at his uncle’s company?

You seriously thought this wouldn’t happen. Jinyoung had a big mouth about ambition and leaving this hell-hole he called home. He used to laugh evilly at your mediocre grades, his eyes looking at you with pure disgust as he muttered how hard life was going to be if you kept doing so poorly.

You would shove him away every single time, chirping insults and making him laugh harder.

Oh, Jinyoung loved riling you up.

Your office turns smaller than it is as you consume the oxygen faster than intended. The memories are way more infuriating than saddening. You feel like you were bullied, hated.

Jinyoung was always behind you, whenever you failed or succeeded. He started as playful and petty, with witty words and knowing smiles. You thought nothing of it, too focused on your personal issues to deal with that little spoiled bitch.

He never crossed the line and simply worked on making you feel miserable without succeeding. Today though, he went too far. Maybe it’s not him who decided to take the position as the editorial director but in the end, it’s Park Jinyoung making feel like crap. As always.

A knock on your opened door makes you look at it, sighing in defeat as a smiling Jinyoung appears, waving softly.

“I refused to believe it when I heard you were working here.” He muses, walking deeper into your office.

You don’t answer, eyes transfixed on him as you nod in defeat. What can you say? Anger pleases him, crying would result in him mocking you and complaining is useless as he is the big boss’ nephew.

You are screwed and even finding a job somewhere else would probably be a big fail. Jinyoung would never write a recommendation letter and would rather torment you for the sake of entertainment.

You see him stop in front of your office, blinking. “Are you okay? Shocked to see me?” he smiles but it’s not genuine. You know Jinyoung, you’ve seen enough of his face to know he has amazing acting skills.

“I don’t want to talk to you. I hate that you’re always somewhere in my life, working hard to make it miserable. Stop with the fake smile, no one’s here.” You try to be as collected as you can, getting up and grabbing folders.

Jinyoung doesn’t seem to enjoy the way you talk to him and crosses his arms over his chest. “Wow, I was ready to be real nice, but I guess you’re asking for more.”

You snort, turning around and stopping, “Whatever you say, Jinyoungie.” Your fake smile turns into a glare before you walk away.

Jinyoung acts exactly the way you predicted. He gives you a huge amount of work, makes you stay way longer than the others and is never satisfied with whatever you do.

He sends long emails with whatever needs to be changed, let it be in the week-end or during the night.

He lets you have a break only when he feels like it, which results in you barely getting any rest. Your colleagues seem to have it easier and even get along with Jinyoung, who smiles sweetly at every secretary and shakes everyone’s hand. He buys lunch for everyone and more often than not you reject the invitation, earning a smirk.

It’s at the end of the second month since he arrived that you decide to take the matter into your hands. You start looking around for another job, between heavy folders thrown onto your desk and endless emails.

And it pays. You get one interview. They don’t need a recommendation letter; they don’t even seem to care about who is supervising your work and oh god you might finally be able to escape that bastard.

The interview goes well, so well that you receive an email, a week later. You don’t get the job.

It doesn’t explain why, but there’s a line about your current company and you don’t even need to read it fully to understand a certain someone sabotaged your plan, again.

“So, you’re looking for another job?” The annoying voice stops you at the worst moment, your eyes leaving the screen. “Thank god I know Jackson enough, he looked very interested in hiring you.”

He is almost mad, like you’re married and he caught you flirting with another man.

“Don’t be jealous, that manager was too sweet to even compete with you. You’re still the number one bastard in my heart.” You ignore his presence once more, opening another folder to continue your job.

You hear a sigh, followed by a hand on your office, “I’m sweet when people deserve my sweetness. You obviously don’t.”

“Oh and I’m so damn sad not to be worthy of your kindness…” You fake obviously, rolling your eyes and typing on your keyboard in hope he’d leave.

But Jinyoung doesn’t leave. He laughs, even. “Wow, you really do hate me.” He seems bewildered.

You finally look up, frowning. “And you don’t? You’re hating me so much that you’d go as far as destroy my future, just like you did with my past. Oh, and let’s not talk about how you’re a pain in the ass in my present, too.” You shake your head, “You know what, let’s not fight. You like it too much when I get mad. I’ll just resign and fly the country.”

“Sounds a bit drastic to me.”

You get up so fast that Jinyoung almost takes a step back. “Stop it. Stop talking to me. Just be a bastard like you always do until I leave.”

“You know, I never pictured us ending up that way.” Jinyoung says, hands now into his pockets.

Your eyebrows raise and you turn around, shocked. “And whose fault is that? What did I ever do to you? I’ve been minding my own business since we were 6 and you put glue into my hair and told everyone I was the one who did this to myself. Shall I go on and list everything?”

“And you said nothing. The day after, with your hair messy and bloodshot eyes you entered the classroom and didn’t even take revenge. You ignored me.” Jinyoung states.

You make a face, disturbed to the point of crying but fighting the tears away. “What is your point?”

“Why did you always avoid the fight? I want to hate you so bad but you don’t give me any reason to. You just hate me to the point of leaving. Why don’t you just slap the shit out of me instead?” He tries to explain, making no sense at all.

“Why the fuck did you even want to hate me?” Jinyoung can’t be serious, he can’t be saying he was actually doing all this on purpose so that you would hate him and fight back?

Jinyoung sighs, eyes closing slowly. “You seriously don’t know why I would always be around you all the damn time? You can’t be this oblivious.”

“Oblivious of what? You were – and still are- a little shit. What did I possibly miss?”

Jinyoung laughs, loudly. His hand appears before his lips, hiding his teeth. “Jeez, you insult me more than you call my name.”

“That’s not funny.” You snarl, teeth gritted.

“You annoyed me. You annoyed me because you were flawless. Oh look, Y/N brought cookies! Oh my, her dress is so pretty! Look at her face, she has such cute dimples.”

You open your mouth, now completely lost. “What, you wanted to be popular? You were jealous? That’s ridiculous, you’re being ridiculous.”

“Shut up, it had nothing to do with popularity.” Jinyoung cuts, frowning, “Oh, how I wonder why you’re so annoying yet so attractive.” He spills, running a hand through his hair and stopping when his eyes find yours. 

“What did you just say? Are you a psychopath or something?” You ask quietly, now a little bit concerned because Jinyoung just said you were attractive.

If you’re being honest, he is good-looking. He didn’t change that much but looks more built and adult now. Too bad he is a complete asshole.

Jinyoung looks at with that same judgemental face, the one you hate so much, “When I first saw you, I came back home and told my mom I had found the prettiest girl in the universe. She made fun of me and said I still had time to explore the universe but I refused to changed my mind. You were too nice to me at first but then I discovered you were nice to everyone. You also had a crush on Jaebum because he would give you apples? I mean come on, apples?” He doesn’t know why he spills everything. Maybe it’s the thought of you leaving that makes him explain why he had been to adamant to make you feel like shit.

“So I decided to stop looking at you. The six years-old me tried everything but you followed me, you were in the same class the year after and I couldn’t do nothing but stare at you. I couldn’t stop thinking about the prettiest girl in the universe because I’m a fool.”

“I don’t understand a thing you’re saying, Jinyoung.” You try, sitting back in your chair slowly.

The way you finally call his name makes him open his mouth, mad at the effect it still has over him.

His tongue hits the inside of his cheeks briefly. “I thought it would be easier if you were to hate me. If it came from you, then I’d have no choice but to move on, right? So I started being a little bastard. I put glue in your hair even though I didn’t want to and told everyone you were playing with it acting like it was bleach. I went back home that day and I cried so freaking hard. I was hating myself and I could barely sleep thinking about how mad you’d be. But you said nothing. You threw me a dirty look and grabbed yet another apple handed by Jaebum to make you feel better.”

“Wait, why do I feel like it’s my fault again? Couldn’t you confess like a normal kid? Did you have to bully me through school?” He must be crazy, there’s no other way he is standing here and explaining he had been acting this way because he was in love with you.

Jinyoung sighs. “I’d hardly call that bullying. Why do you think I turned on the lights at Mark’s party while that bastard from the football team was harassing you? Who do you think made you sit on mud so that it would cover the-”

“-the bloodstains on my jeans because of my perio- Wait, you saw that?” You finish the sentence, shocked and now embarrassed.

“I saw everything. I noticed everything, from the way you were trying to control yourself so you wouldn’t beat the shit out of me, to how you’d cry sometimes, thinking I was hating you for free. I had no idea you were working for my uncle. I had no idea where you were and I was convincing me it was fine because even though you never fought back, I was pretty sure you were hating me. It didn’t make me feel better, though.”

“Why?” You dare to ask, you’re not sure you want to know why, but things took a weird turn and you suddenly need answers.

Jinyoung looks up, his face overly serious and eyes deep with something you had never seen in his eyes. “Because even though I succeeded, even though you hate me and I can finally move on, all I can see is the prettiest girl in the universe, every time you’re in front of me.”

He makes you blush uncontrollably, the words going out quicker than intended. “Hold on, it’s too much information. I feel like I was lied to all these years.” Your elbows find your office so you can rest your head into your palms. “You’re telling me you’re still in love with me? I- I just don’t get why you never conf-

“Confessed?” Jinyoung laughs again, earning your attention back. “Would you have believed me? Do you even believe me now?” he tries, almost hopeful.

“I’m not sure I do. You’ve always been a great actor, just like when you told me the math test was cancelled and I believed you and failed big time.” You explain, almost pouting.

Jinyoung smiles, his eyes turning into crescents. “You’re just awfully gullible.”

You shake your head, almost hurt by the fact that he’d make this up just to embarrass you. “This is exactly why I hate you, Jinyoung. Even now, you’re playing with me.”

He is quick to raise two defensive hands in front of him. “I mean it! You are gullible but that doesn’t change how I feel!”

“And what do I do with that information? Even if it’s true what do you expect me to do?” You get up rapidly, sending your hair against the wall.

Jinyoung seems helpless and for the first time in your whole life, you see a bit a weakness within his annoying overconfidence. “It is true. I don’t except you to do anything about it. I just told you because you said you’d leave. If you want me to stop talking to you, I will, only if you believe me and take this seriously.”

“I’m not going to listen to your bullshit, you’re probably recording this and you’ll send it to everyone within the next hour to embarrass me. It’s not going to work.” You conclude, ready to leave your office and hide somewhere else.

Jinyoung grabs your arm before you can escape. “How do you want me to prove it to you?”

“You don’t love me Jinyoung. If you did, I wouldn’t have ended up crying because of you. This is not love, this is cruelty.”

Jinyoung cracks his neck, slowly. “I said, how do you want me to prove it to you?”

“Then kiss me.”

He freezes, his hand letting your arm go instantly. “What?” Jinyoung says shakily, his voice quivering with anticipation in spite of the situation.

“Go ahead. If you really do love me, you must be dying to kiss me –oomf”

You can’t believe it. Is Park Jinyoung kissing you? The guy who has been making fun of you for as long as you can remember? That little piece of shit?

And damn he seems to be enjoying himself. You can feel it from the way he grabbed your face and how close his body his. He takes his time feeling you with his mouth and even sighs when you automatically kiss him back.

It is pleasing. Kissing Park Jinyoung is pleasing. Who would have thought. The guy spitting venom all day long does taste rather sweet.

He parts from you with difficulty, breath raged and eyes closed in an attempt to keep control. His body doesn’t leave your side, just like his hands, glued to your scalp and waist.

After a while, he chuckles, his baby face back and pettiness out the window.

“I can’t believe I kissed the prettiest girl in the universe…”

He looks ecstatic.

#prompt game #wow i feel like these were requested 10 years ago lol #i'm late sorry #jinyoung scenarios #jinyoung scenario #jinyoung x you #jinyoung x reader #park jinyoung scenario #park jinyoung x reader #got7 #got7 jinyoung #jinyoung got7 #park jinyoung got7 #got7 park jinyoung #got7 scenarios #got7 x reader #got7 x you #jinyoung fanfic

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chillm4tic · 7 years ago

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A very SKAMson birthday!

@rogueleader1987 KT Baby, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

I’m gonna restrain myself from writing you a whole long love letter on the internet, because you already know all the things. When we were getting to know each other, I kept being surprised by all the things we had in common, but when we discovered we’re both Fansons, GAMECHANGER! I never thought I could share all these things that hardly anyone else cares about with one person. But here we are.

As a birthday gift, please enjoy SKAMson, or, the Hanson soundtrack to SKAM Season 3 (<-- it’s a link to the playlist on Spotify!). I know we’re always crying at each other about all the Hanson songs that make us think of Evak, so… for your birthday, here’s the one thing that I can give you that no one else can… a frivolous mashup of our very first fangirl obsession and the thing that ruined us and brought us together 20 years later (SKAM) that no one asked for … our OG pretty blonde boys meet Evak! I’m sorry I don’t have the skills to make this cute with pics and gifs and shit.

(under the break)

E1: We open on a pretty sweet party. Running Man is just a great party track, and it’s about making mistakes which he’s done and will do plenty of, plus Isak literally runs away at the end of the party. This episode also needs Where’s the Love? and Weird because this confused baby needs the right kind of love:

Sitting on the side waiting for a sign, hoping that my luck will change Reaching for a hand that can understand, someone who feels the same When you live in a cookie cutter world being different is a sin So you don't stand out, but you don't fit in. Weird.

E2: For that epic stare, I have to include Optimistic. I mean, it’s Hanson covering Radiohead! It only makes sense!

The rest of this episode is If Only. This song always makes me think of it, particularly when he’s watching the Even and Mikael video, and when they’re flirting in Even’s apartment. SWOON!

If only I had the guts to feel this way And if only You'd look at me and want to stay And if only I'd take you in my arms and say I won't go, 'cause I need you Cause I need you

E3: Sure About It sums up a lot of this episode. Isak is stress and confused. Then Crazy Beautiful and Thinking ‘Bout Somethin’ (I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout something’ other than you) are perfect for the last clip. I especially appreciate all the innuendo in Crazy Beautiful:

Liquid, melancholy dreams Tell me what it means 'Cause you drive me crazy Driftwood, won't you float me down your stream? Tell me what it means 'Cause you drive me crazy

'Cause you're crazy beautiful

Don't go looking in my eyes tonight Don't go telling me lies tonight Don't go promising the skies tonight When you're crazy 'Cause you're crazy beautiful

E4: Runaway Run because “people leave their wife and kids to be together with the one they love” and these two dorks run away from their dates together in this episode.

21:21 is Lost Without You.

I see it all aligned in front of my face But like a shooting star fades It could be gone just as fast as it came I'm gonna take this moment and chase this fear right out of me Come one day I will have no regrets after today 'Cause the “unexpected beautiful” I'm about to admit I've been longing for

Is staying in my arms tonight There's nothing that I wouldn't do I just wanna be the one you're holding onto And if you wanna run tonight I'll follow anywhere you want me to I'm giving you my heart 'cause I I'm lost without you Lost without you

E5: Phew, there’s a lot happening in this one. I think Already Home makes sense since it opens on the morning after their first night together, and they already feel so comfortable and warm, like they’re already at home together. I cry.

And then the locker room scene always makes me think of Madeline.

Your lonely face Your lonely eyes This is something you can't disguise It's not just me, you feel it, too ‘Cause you know I belong to you

Look at where we're goin' Tell me what can I say We're tracing our footsteps We're going the same way

Madeline Here we go around again You know it, I know it Don't try to pretend

Re: Eskild’s epic truths, This Time Around.

I heard them say that dreams should stay in your head Well, I feel ashamed of the things that I've said Put on these chains and you can live a free life Well, I'd rather bleed just to know why I die

And finally, Hand in Hand to bring the angst at the heartbreaking end.

I know just how much I love you But there is no time to explain I realize just what I'd give to Get you back in my arms

And I see you hand in hand with another man And I don't know what you see in him and why you let us go

So if you're gonna lie At least you could just let us die And if you're gonna cry to me baby At least you could just say goodbye

E6: I definitely think of Tragic Symphony for the opening of this episode. It’s one of their few angry songs, and… it works.

I’m just a part in your masterpiece A minuet in a minor key A sad song that you know so well You cheat me, but you have no tell And you keep leading me on You make a good thing feel wrong

Poor Isak bby can’t sleep. He Can’t Stop thinking about Even.

Morning, day or night I tremble at your sight It's impossible to fight; I've tried

Now you're in my head And your mind I've read Could recite the words you've said Now I

Can't stop thinking about you Can't get you off my mind No, I can't stop thinking about you all the time Can't stop thinking about you I can't get you off my mind No I can't stop thinking about you I'm thinking about you all the time

Lost Without Each Other makes me think of when they meet in the cantina.

All I know is what I'm missing What I'm missing is your kissing Are you listening? Don't go, don't go telling me you're all right There's no room for getting uptight Don't go saying that you're okay When you're lonely Baby, don't go telling me we're over When you know you're my one and only lover And I won't go saying that we're okay when we're Lost without each other 'Cause we're lost without each other

Annnnnd finally, this episode and Evak in general also makes me think of Save Me. The opening line of this song ruins me every time.

Loving you like I never have before I'm needing you to open up the door If begging you might somehow turn the tides Then tell me to I've got to get this off my mind

I never thought I'd be speaking these words I never thought I'd need to say Another day alone is more than I can take

Won't you save me, 'cause saving is what I need I just want to be by your side Won't you save me, I don't want to be Just drifting through the sea of life

E7: Tonight (for obvious reasons) and Get the Girl Back.

It’s about time that you put your cards back on the table It’s about time that you show her you’re willing and able It’s about time that you get the girl back That you get the girl back on your side

E8: Obviously an embarrassing pop song is in order for the Breakfast Kitchen Dance Party, so it’s got to be Mmmbop, of course! Even would fully dig this song. (And Mmmbop is all about the future being impossible to predict and control, and appreciating and living in the moment… very Sesong 3!).

Great Divide for when Sana schools Isak about hate and fear re: religion, and just Sana in general.

When every eye is one the fortune It can only breed contempt They say blood is thicker than oceans Still we box our brothers in

I find hope and it gives me rest I find hope in a beating chest I find hope in what eyes don't see I find hope in your hate for me Have no fear when the waters rise We can conquer this great divide

Waiting for This makes me think of High for This.

And then Juliet (yes!) is perfect because... well, because Juliet!

Juliet, every single time you get me all messed up I try to talk it out But you’re so hot to touch And Juliet, I feel so dangerous Looking in your eyes is perilous But I don’t care ‘cause I would die for love

Through your window breaks the rising sun By any other name, you’re still so beautiful In everything I do, I will love you my whole life If you’ll be my, be my

Juliet, you are a drug and it is quick And with a kiss I lose my senses Juliet, you are a fire, I am consumed Tonight I’m dying in your arms

And for the end, Strong Enough to Break … the fabric is about to fray.

E9: Love Song for the heartbroken boy.

In this lifelong love song You can love right, you can love wrong In this love song, you can love wrong But if you love wrong, it doesn't mean love's gone Oh, and it doesn't mean love's gone Just because you're feeling low And it doesn't mean love's gone 'Cause you feel like you want to let go See, no one wrote in this book of love That you'd always know I wish someone would have told me before

Wish I Was There for the pining boy.

The sun has fallen Another day gone without you. My heart keeps callin' And I don't know just what to do When you're near me I seem to forget my lonely days It's more than a feelin' It's something that can't be explained

I wish that I was there I wish that I was there When you're not here I wish that I was there

O Helga Natt is definitely I Will Come to You. It’s so perfect, it hurts.

When you have no light to guide you And no one to walk to walk beside you I will come to you Oh I will come to you When the night is dark and stormy You won't have to reach out for me I will come to you Oh I will come to you

Sometimes when all your dreams may have seen better days And you don't know how or why, but you've lost your way Have no fear when your tears are fallin' I will hear your spirit callin' And I swear that I'll be there come what may

And a little bonus live O Holy Night / Silent Night / O Come All Ye Faithful medley, for funsies.

E10: A Minute Without You for minutt for minutt. And Underneath for sweet Even.

I know what to say But don't know where to begin I fear I'm losing you beneath my skin Is there resolution for this pain that I'm in?

Sitting all alone in this place Even though we're here face to face There is nothing gone But there's something wrong

Can't you see That I'm stuck here underneath And you’re making it hard to breathe? Take a look around and tell me what you see You'll find me underneath 'Cause you'll find me underneath

Watch Over Me (naturally) and Smile for passa på meg, because Isak likes seeing Even laugh/smile, and it’s just the sweetest song for the sweetest boys.

Well this feeling I've been feeling Well I can feel it right now from my head to the floor When I see you I want to love you Till the end of time and a little bit more

And I'm not gonna let it go You've got to let your feelings show So smile, give me all your heart and we'll never be apart. I'll never leave you alone If you'll just smile, tell me that you care And I'll always be there. I'll never leave you hurting if you just smile.

I also think a lot about Carry You There in relation to Isak being there for Even.

Try You don't have to be afraid to just rely On someone to hold the weight part of the time It's alright It can get too much to handle by yourself If you can't do it alone I know you will say I don't know what's at stake or what it takes

'Cause I don't care what you say Don't have use for your words anyway You don't need a Cadillac 'Cause I'll be waiting with my bare back To carry you there

Finally, Nå = Dying to be Alive

The things you see The way you see them Will never been seen again Let’s go through life Livin' on luck and betting ten thousand to ten Mistakes I've made in this life I can’t say why or when But the thing that's strange is You only live once And never look back again

I'm dying to be alive Not trying to just survive Let’s not go through our lives Without just dying to be alive

And we all come tumbling down No matter how strong, we all turn to the ground In the days to come you’ll say "why did I wait?" You can't just leave your life up to fate Gotta turn it around before it's too late

BONUS! Even’s clip from s4 always makes me think of Every Word I Say.

Before you I was only What I let control me You are a revolution Against my own conclusions Till today I feel I can't lose I'm letting go of what I knew

I want you for always I hear your name in every word I say I'm a fool and I don't care I hear your name in every word I say

And now I say goodbye to the way I used to be There is no room for question Cause your name it sets me free Yesterday's troubles harm me Today's are creeping in So let go of the world around me Cause your love is all I need

I want you for always I hear your name in every word I say I'm a fool and that's okay I hear your name in every word I say

I want you for always I hear your name in every word I say I'm a fool and I don't care I hear your name in every word I say

That’s it! I hope you liked this absurd thing that I spent my actual time on! Love you so much, KT Baby. Thank you for being born/you/mine. <3

#SKAM #skamson #Hanson #evak #HAPPY BIRTHDAY KT!!!!!#rogueleader1987 #a ridiculous thing

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healthnews01 · 4 years ago

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Health News Fitness | Top 15 Weight-loss Myths

There are numerous common weight-loss myths that individuals live by when it involves their health and wellness. It is hard sometimes to divide the weight reduction misconceptions as well as truth from what holds true. Many sound true while others are just absurd. I once reviewed someplace that if you drink water at night that you are going to put on weight or that if you damage your head too often you are mosting likely to shed your hair ... Fat burning Myth # 1

The even more weight that I need to shed the more extreme my exercise routine ought to be

Weight Reduction Fact: Although having an extreme exercise regimen is fantastic, there are a few points you should think about: the very first being that everybody is at a various level when it comes to their health and fitness as well as how much intensity they can actually deal with. If you have actually been physically non-active for a number of years, an extreme exercise for you could be, walking half a mile a day. After you stroll that fifty percent mile you see that you are sweating bullets and that you are tired. However, for someone who has actually been literally energetic for years, walking half a mile can be done without a sweat. Every person has a different definition of what "intense" is.

If extreme for you is exercising for a hr a day, however as a result of life's hectic timetable you just have time for 20 mins a day, then those 20 minutes will go a very long means. It might not always be identified as "extreme", according to your definition, yet those little cardio moments will certainly have positive health and wellness changing effects.

Health News Fitness

Fat Loss Myth # 2

Anxiety and also weight gain do not work together

Weight Management Fact: This is one of those "absurd" myths. To get more information how stress and anxiety is adding lbs. to your life please download my free Electronic book, "Psychology of Releasing Weight"

Weight-loss Misconception # 3

I can lose weight while eating whatever I desire

Weight Management Reality: Sir Isaac Newton as soon as stated" What goes up have to come down." There are natural principles that regulate our lives. If you throw a sphere up airborne, it is going to come back down. You can sit on your couch as well as picture and visualize that the ball will surviving airborne, however all-natural concepts show us that it will certainly come down. Same goes when it pertains to our weight.

This is among one of the most typical weight loss misconceptions available. It is not logical to believe that your wellness as well as weight are going to remain in balance if your nourishment consists primarily of twinkies, chips, as well as donuts. Sure you can shed it off by exercising, but many people whose diet plan includes mostly processed food are possibly not disciplined sufficient to stay with an exercise regimen. I do understand a few individuals who, from the outside, resemble they are in good condition, due to the fact that they are not "fat, yet that have high cholesterol.

Health News

Just because I sympathize with squashing the hearts of a lot of twinkie fans out there, I would state this. You can eat convenience food, cookies, chips, gelato, pizza, burgers ... All of those "soul pleasing foods", yet it should remain in small amounts. Anything over is never ever excellent.

Fat Loss Misconception # 4

Missing meals is a great way to reduce weight

Weight Reduction Reality: There are countless studies that reveal that individuals who avoid breakfast and also eat less times throughout the day tend to be a great deal heavier than who have a healthy and balanced dietary morning meal and after that eat 4-6 tiny dishes during the day. The factor to this could be the reality that they get hungrier later on in the day, and may have a tendency to over consume during other meals of the day.

Weight-loss Myth # 5

I will certainly not drop weight while consuming at evening

Weight Loss Fact: You can over enjoy food throughout the day as well as not consume a solitary thing at night as well as you WILL CERTAINLY gain weight. As is the truth that you can starve yourself throughout the day and consume all evening long as well as you still will certainly put on weight. The trick right here is balance. If your body is telling you that it is starving after that maybe you ought to listen to it. The fact is, that over consuming, while not exercising, will certainly create you to put on weight; whatever time of the day that you consume. Whenever I am hungry at night, as is my habit with various other meals throughout the day, I try to select something that is natural in nature. Something like fruits, veggies, or I might even make myself a fruit shake. Throughout those moments that I am yearning gelato or something wonderful, I allow myself to get some, and DO NOT feel guilty concerning it. Lots of people that are overweight live their life in regret and embarassment. I enable myself to get some, nonetheless, WITH SMALL AMOUNTS.

Health

Fat Loss Myth # 6

I'm not acceptable up until I lose weight

Weight Loss Reality: The individual that does not really feel acceptable due to the fact that they are fat is due to the fact that they are not acceptable to themselves first. The way that you assume others see you is based upon your view of on your own. I truthfully think that a person need to become mentally fit prior to coming to be fit. I have experienced these self-limiting emotions before. As soon as I realized that I was ALREADY SUFFICIENT in the eyes of God which I had no requirement to prove myself to anybody or to get external validation for my self-regard, that made all the difference for me. Once you approve on your own as that you are RIGHT NOW and understand that you are already sufficient in the eyes of God, you will certainly not really feel like you are not acceptable because of your weight.

Weight-loss Myth # 7

I require to reduce calories to lose weight much faster

Weight Loss Truth: Cutting your calories down could be a great point, if you are considerably overeating and stuffing your face. Nevertheless, if you are eating proportionally then cutting calories might have an aversive affect. If you are cutting calories and also are starving your body, then that will certainly lower your metabolic rate, or to put it simply reduce it down, which might result in you really not shedding any weight in all, also if you are "cutting calories"

Weight Loss Misconception # 8

Skipping dishes will assist me drop weight

Weight Reduction Reality: Skipping dishes might in fact create you to gain weight! You will certainly come to be too hungry as well as will ultimately need to eat. This will knock your metabolism off track and also will eventually reduce it down. Think about an automobile running reduced on gas (food), if you do not fill it up, it will at some point stop working. Exact same opts for our body, we need to keep it sustained regularly.

Weight Loss Myth # 9

I think I have genetic weight gain, it runs in my family members!

Weight-loss Fact: Can a person claim E-X-C-U-S-E-S? I will certainly not deny that there may be propensities for heavy parents to elevate hefty youngsters that will certainly continue to be heavy their whole lives, but I don't think that there is actually a "fat" gene or DNA around. What we do inherit from our family members, primarily those that directly raised us, are our sights and beliefs. Your sights concerning food, money, religion, politics, education, etc. are based upon just how you were increased. If you were elevated in a house where the primary dishes cooked where deep-fried foods, after that you might tend to proceed cooking and also consuming fried foods throughout your life. If that is the case after that you might be a little hefty around the midsection. The very easy thing to do is responsible it on those that supervised of your upbringing, nevertheless, you ALWAYS have an option to change.

Fat Loss Misconception # 10

Consuming healthy is also hard

Weight Loss Fact: Eating healthy is the simplest point in the world ... once you have trained yourself to do it. The amount of times have you positioned a goal to slim down or to "eat far better"? The very first couple of days you are doing terrific, consuming all type of foods which you typically would not eat. Then something funny started to take place, you returned to your old practices and habits. This has actually occurred to you in other areas beyond your wellness. Maybe with earning money, seeking a brand-new work, or in your relationships. Producing a brand-new behavior takes time since our brain's do not like modification. Change to the brain is dangerous. Anyways, if you would like to learn more about how our mind attempts to sabotage us from developing brand-new practices then please download my cost-free Electronic book, "Psychology of Releasing Weight"

Weight Management Myth # 11

You have to surrender your preferred foods to slim down

Weight Reduction Fact: What would a globe without chocolate as well as without pepperoni pizza resemble??? I think it would certainly be a troubling globe to live in!! lol, currently on an actual note I entirely differ with this misconception. You are certainly able to eat your preferred foods. Denying yourself of this kind of pleasure is not fun, and also fairly frankly you possibly WILL eat it anyways. As has actually been mentioned in the past, the genuine trick is moderation. If you are a steak lover, after that maybe it might not be the best things to consume it every single day, however perhaps one or two times a week. Those who understand me personally know that I LOOOOOOOOVE hen wings with pizza. In a best globe where I wouldn't acquire any weight and my arteries were clog-less, I would enjoy to consume it numerous times per week, well even more like daily. Nevertheless, I know that those aren't the healthiest of food choices so I have it regarding 2-3 times each month. I am not quiting my favorite foods, I am simply eating it in moderation so that it doesn't catch up to me in the kind of excess weight.

Fat Loss Misconception # 12

Over-eating is triggered by hunger

Weight Loss Fact: Wonderful try there. If only we could criticize "hunger" for it. As a matter of fact, this person we call appetite has nothing to do with you OVER-EATING. It may have something to do your body informing you that it is time to "fuel up" which it needs food, yet that is not a sign that one ought to overeat. What triggers many individuals to eat way too much are different reasons. Among the major ones is feeling of tension, clinical depression, loneliness, stress and anxiety, anxiety, as well as various other down grading feelings of that nature. Often times food can be a method of satisfying your requirements. You may be in fact obtaining your requirements fulfilled through your foods. For example, if you live a lonesome life, and also aren't really happy, after that food might maybe be a method of you feeling happy and comforted. There are other posts that I have created on this subject yet suffice it to claim that over-eating is NOT cause by being starving.

Weight Management Myth # 13

Only drastic diet plans work

Weight Management Truth: There goes that word again ... DIEt ... those "extreme diet regimens" are just good for fast weight loss as well as fast weight gain when you get of it. These drastic diet regimens range from the "cookie diet regimen", lol ... All that way to "the water only diet regimen" ... I make sure you can reduce weight while on these Diet regimens, nonetheless the weight will be gained right back as well as usually with some added weight as a perk

Fat Loss Misconception # 14

I am as well fat as well as also far down the roadway to start

Weight Loss Truth: A long journey begins one action at a time. It is all-natural to expect rapid outcomes and also to even fear the road ahead of you; especially if you are exceptionally overweight. The key right here is to make SMALL step-by-step modifications. Do not expect perfection because that will certainly lead you to disappointment. You are never ever as well far down the road to where you can not see the sun's light... Fat Burning Myth # 15

I can not do it, I have attempted often times and have actually failed

Weight Management Fact: The great Henry Ford as soon as said "Whether you believe you can, or you assume you can not- you're right.'"... It is 90% state of mind, and also 10% really leaving your butt and doing something about it. You fall down, you get back up ... you fall down once again, you return up once more. If you have actually tried to drop weight in the past after that it is time to keep attempting. Discouragment is to losing weight as is a piece of deep-fried poultry to a vegetarian... they DO NOT go together.

#Health News Fitness #Health News

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massachusettsnhst410-blog · 5 years ago

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10 Sites To Help You Become An Expert In Boston Massachusetts Tourism

There’s something about just walking collectively that may be Tremendous intimate. This can be because it’s this kind of laidback action that gives you uninterrupted one-on-a single time. And discovering a different city hand in hand is extra Unique.

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In the event you don’t such as the weather don’t worry it is going to adjust; Boston is actually a metropolis with 4 unique seasons. Chilly, snowy winters and incredibly hot humid summers are welcome variations for Boston residents. We like our seasons, and for Superb reasons. We can use our landscape to improve what Every brings to city. The under freezing Winter season temperatures enable ponds to freeze reliable, giving a destination to ice skate; so you do not need to journey much to ski the snow covered slopes.

two million persons are in the town all through function hours, and 2 million through Specific occasions in town, as numerous A huge number of inhabitants while in the suburbs commute to town for training, health and fitness care, and function.

Maximum rated spots of curiosity or tour operators on TripAdvisor, marketing These in which There may be at the very least 1 tour or exercise accessible to e book on TripAdvisor.

Copyright info: The maps on this web site were composed by Brad Cole of Geology.com. If you wish to share these maps with Many others you should hyperlink to this site.

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We have detected that your browser has disabled accepting cookies. To employ weather.com your browser ought to settle for 1st party cookies for that performance of the location to operate and produce you the data you might have asked for.

We wish you to definitely share your story, with both of those The great along with the not-so-good. All we talk to is you comply with a couple of straightforward guidelines.

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This wander encompasses four generations of Boston history. Mixing historic landmarks with Boston’s skyscrapers, this walk is actually a person truly worth getting.

The town works by using an algorithm made through the Walsh administration, named CityScore, to evaluate the efficiency of assorted metropolis providers.

The fight alone passed off on nearby Breed's Hill, but Bunker Hill was the leading objective of the two armies – so that's where by the Bunker Hill Monument was constructed. The very first monument was built-in 1794, made of wood, and stood eighteen toes tall. From 1827-1842, the current granite memorial was constructed. The obelisk resembles the Washington Monument in Washington D.C., towering more than the encompassing landscape.

Interestingly, Boston's actual population fluctuates fast involving day and night, together with throughout Unique events. It's approximated that 1.

“The Pru is a good spot to shop, Typically substantial greenback stuff but, however worth the stroll from Back Bay station throughout the mall.”

With all The cash you saved on the final-minute lodge place in Boston, you could see a present each individual night in nearby Cambridge.

Massport's relationship with close by communities has long been strained since the mid-1960s,[24] once the company took control of a parcel of household land and well-liked fishing area near the northwest side with the airfield. This project was undertaken to increase Runway 15R/33L, which later on turned Logan's longest runway by means of synthetic land.

In December 2018, Delta introduced an enlargement of routes to consider influence in 2019, which resulted in Southwest going to Terminal B, and Delta regaining all of Terminal A (apart from a person gate subleased to WestJet, itself a codeshare airline with Delta).

Boston nightlife revolves closely around bars and golf equipment frequented by 20-something singles who consume and dance the evening absent. A go to into the "Alley" (in between Boston's Theater District and Downtown Crossing), Faneuil Hall, or the Fenway area will let you come across many of the it destinations.

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Martha's Winery received nationwide focus as being the setting for the Motion picture Jaws during the 1970s, but noteworthy figures had been expending their summertime absorbing the Sunlight on this picturesque island extensive ahead of the Film. The 3rd premier island about the East Coast, Marthaâs Vineyard is situated from the Coastline of Cape Cod in Massachusetts. The areaâs history is prosperous. At first inhabited through the Wampanoag men and women, these days a small population continue to resides around the island.

And at last, a review After their vacation, attendees inform us with regards to their keep. We check for naughty text and verify the authenticity of all visitor testimonials before incorporating them to our internet site.

Huge snug bed and place. The hotel is in an area near to Back again Bay station for your T, and also in just strolling distance of the most crucial browsing area, Boston Common together with other tourist attractions. All of the personnel we spoke to have been definitely friendly and practical.

While Boston is often a history lover's dream, There is certainly considerably more to do listed here than examine its earlier. No matter whether You are looking to absorb the skyline or enjoy art, pay a visit to a museum or devote the day receiving pampered, you will discover what you would like in Boston.

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themindfulword · 8 years ago

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CONSCIOUS EATING: 10 food-related tips to help you improve your nutrition and health

These days, everyone has an opinion about how we should be eating. There are thousands of guides for dieting, cleansing and eating “right,” and no one can really say which is best. That’s because there isn’t one way of eating that works for each individual body and lifestyle. You have to take everything you hear and read about nutrition at face value and be willing to walk away from something you've tried if it doesn’t work for you. That being said, there are a few “rules” I like to try and live by that can apply to almost any lifestyle. Nutrition and healthy living don’t have to be "all or nothing." You can incorporate one or two of these tips into your daily routine and see how they go, then add more as you see fit. In the end, eating mindfully is all about listening to your body, being conscious of your decisions and making sure you're enjoying your food.

Eat whole foods

This term gets used a lot, and can be misleading and sometimes overwhelming. By definition, a whole food is anything that has been refined and processed as little as possible, and is free from additives and artificial ingredients. The closer the food is to its original form, the better. Of course, it’s very difficult for most of us to eat only whole foods, 100 percent of the time, but the closer you can get to having a diet dominant in whole foods, the greater the benefits.

Cook with broth instead of oil

This is a tip I picked up while reading and following The China Study. Such a simple trick has changed the way my body feels after a meal more than any other adjustment. The amount of oil (or butter) used to fry, sauté or even stir-fry something adds a lot of extra fat to a meal. Even when using a high-quality, “healthy” oil like coconut oil, we’re still ingesting a much higher quantity than our body needs. Buying broth (vegetable or chicken, low-sodium) and using a few tablespoons/millilitres in your pan for cooking is a simple, healthy and delicious alternative to using oil or butter. And if nothing else, you'll notice the difference from the very first meal. Your food will digest more efficiently and you’ll feel lighter.

Shop local/seasonal/organic

We've all heard it before—maybe a little too often, at this point—you can find an organic version of just about every food product out there. Why does this matter in the grand scheme of things? Local, organic and seasonal food all intertwine and result in food that's real, pesticide-free and fresh. Eating "local" and seasonally means you're eating what's actually growing at that time and getting the largest amount of nutrients possible from that product. It can be more difficult to do this during cold seasons or in places where the access to local produce is minimal, but just like whole foods, the more, the better. On top of that, if the local/seasonal food you're eating is also organic, even better! These are three types of food I choose when I have the option, but sometimes it’s just not possible, and that’s OK.

Eat fewer animal products

I can just see the eyerolls now from all the meat lovers everywhere. I am one of those meat lovers, a cheese lover, and an ice cream lover, and I’m not suggesting that animal products should be cut out of your lifestyle completely. I'm suggesting, after years of switching back and forth, that our bodies really do function better when we lower our intake of animal products. They're hard to digest and more often than not, they aren’t free of chemicals, additives or preservatives. If you can apply the previous tip to your meat products, that's a great start. But even with organic products, it's wise to limit your intake. Just attempting this lifestyle change, and starting by making one to two meals a week vegetarian or vegan, is a great step towards cleaner eating.

Use natural, unrefined salt

Salt has a bad reputation, and that’s because the most common type of salt being included in our diets is refined, commercial salt. “Table salt” has been stripped of almost all of its natural minerals and electrolytes, and these have been replaced with additives, bleaching agents, preservatives and other chemicals not meant for consumption. It’s these ingredients that can be so destructive to our cells and cause all sorts of problems on the inside and outside of our bodies. In contrast, unrefined salt has been harvested properly and still contains the trace minerals our bodies need to function. By switching your commercial salt at home to a natural salt, and by avoiding heavily processed foods, you can easily decrease your intake of refined sodium.

Make it yourself (when possible)

This is my favourite rule to live (eat!) by for two reasons. First, if you make it yourself, you know exactly what’s going into your meals. There are no mysteries, no scary-sounding ingredients and no added nonsense. You get to be 100 percent in charge of what goes into your body. The second reason is, if you start making everything yourself, you'll by default be eating less garbage. It’s easy to go buy a bag of chips, or some ice cream, or a box of cookies, and completely demolish them in one sitting. But if you have to make that bag of chips yourself, the probability of you following through on that, or consuming the same amount you would if you'd bought them in a store, is very low.

Add more colour

This is another way of getting a variety of different nutrients into your diet. There are five colour categories for fruits and vegetables: Red, purple/blue, orange/yellow, green and brown/white. Each one offers a different set of nutrients, vitamins and phytochemicals that help the body fight off disease. Eating produce from each colour group is a great way to make sure you’re getting the whole spectrum of vitamins and minerals your body needs. It’s also a great way to keep your meals exciting and learn new things. I try and find a new recipe each week based around a vegetable or fruit I'm unfamiliar with.

Watch your portions

This is a difficult one for me and I know I’m not alone. I was raised in a family where food wasn’t just for nutrition, but for comfort and happiness. It was a way to share with those you love and was always the centre of any social gathering. It’s taken me years to change my idea of what full should feel like and when to stop eating. I still believe food should be enjoyed, be shared and provide comfort, but I also understand that the amount is just as crucial as the ingredients. Eating until you're satisfied is much more tolerable for your digestive system than eating until you're full. This can be hard to do at first, especially when we’re out of touch with the needs of our bodies. Eating slowly is the best way to combat the urge to overeat. If you have a full serving of a meal and think you may still be hungry, challenge yourself to wait 20 minutes before deciding whether to eat again. Chances are, you've eaten enough and just need to give your brain enough time to catch up with your body.

Eat "good" fat

We need fat! It transports vitamins, it stores energy, it protects our nerves and organs, and it keeps our brain and our cells functioning. It has a hand in pretty much every single process going on in our bodies! Fat is so important, and yet we're constantly being told to get rid of it. The type of fat we take in is what we have to be careful of. There are four main types of fat: saturated, trans, monounsaturated and polyunsaturated. Trans fats are the only one of the four fats that are manmade and should be avoided all together. The rest can all be found in nature and play an important role in our diets. Saturated fats raise our “bad” cholesterol levels and shouldn’t be consumed in large amounts. That being said, many polyunsaturated fats (such as vegetable oils) require a lot of processing and refining before they can be consumed. The best way to know you’re taking in "good" fat is to stick to the most natural forms of dietary fat: monounsaturated and saturated. Nuts, avocados, olive oil, canola oil and coconut products are all healthy foods through which you can get the necessary amount of dietary fats.

Drink more water

By now, I think we’re all aware that we need water to live. You can go around a month without food and survive, but only a week without water. I like to remind myself that I function best when my entire body is well-hydrated, and I feel better when I'm consistently drinking water. There are a lot of myths rolling around about how much water is too much or not enough and whether you can use other liquids to meet those requirements. It isn’t so much about the lack of water in other liquids (juice, coffee, tea, beer, etc.) but more about the additional sugar or chemicals in those liquids. At the end of the day, if you’re unsure of whether you’re consuming enough water, drink more water. Unless you're drowning yourself and going to the washroom every five to 10 minutes, you’re probably not overdoing it. It's the only thing most of us can always use more of! «RELATED READ» BECOME A MASTER OF HEALTHY LIVING: 6 strategies that’ll help you attain a healthy lifestyle» images via Pixabay: fresh food, fresh market, berries fruit Click to Post

#balance #drinking water #fresh food #healthy fats #nutrition #organic #season

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rebel666 · 8 years ago

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Mass Effect Andromeda 10 Hour Review (Spoiler Free[mostly])

Firstly, I’m basing this off of playing via PC. I have a mega processor that can handle it but my graphics card is at the minimum requirements and was comfortable with medium but I was able to play on high (didn’t try ultra but will once it comes out and I have more time to tweak my settings). I cannot speak for those playing on consoles or those playing with other settings on their PCs. I also don’t have a fancy or expensive keyboard or mouse. My keyboard is an old beat up Logitech basic keyboard (with most of the keys worn away) and mouse is an Azza weight controlled gaming mouse.

As for my knowledge on Mass Effect games, I have been playing Mass Effect (pretty much nonstop) since it first came out in 2007 so I have spent almost 10 years being in the fandom. The only other fandom that has kept me around this long is Pokemon. I played them all on the 360 and PC. I didn’t move to playing them on PC until after ME2 was released. Mass Effect 1 will always have my heart (because of the Mako) but Mass Effect 2 gave me the one character I wanted to romance (Garrus) and Mass Effect 3 finally allowed me to kiss said romance. I will admit that I played ME2 the most based solely on the story and character interactions. I will also mention that I played over 400 documented hours of ME3 MP and was on the team who was the second worldwide to defeat Platinum. In case any of you wanted to test my validity.

10 Hour Rough Allocations:

Character Creation: 0:25 (I designed my Ryder and kept my sibling default) First Zone: 1:45 Nexus: 1:30 Space Exploration: 0:30 Second Zone: 4:45 Multiplayer: 1:00

Pros:

Holy moly the planets! They are so vast and beautifully wonderful! I spent hours wandering around (even to places I shouldn’t have been yet and nearly dying every time from hazards) and upon reaching the top most location I just had to take a moment to look around. The details to the landscapes definitely precede all previous games. Not to mention how many systems we will be able to explore. You get just a glimpse at the galaxy map and it is massive! It’s huge! Like Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy definition of space HUGE. You see all the speckled dots of systems and planets waiting to be revealed. It’s such a tease! There’s definitely going to be so much to explore. Probably more than all of the previous games combined!

Space travel is VERY different than before. It cannot be compared to the previous games. It is very immersive, brings you right into feeling like you are there on the bridge traveling between planets. It’s really unique. It’s a little more time consuming but you get used to it. When it comes to scanning, it’s not like ME1 or ME3 where you just tap the planet for items and not like ME2 where you’re probing every little thing you can. Instead of constantly probing like in ME2, your science officer will tell you if there is or isn’t anything to scan for (which helps so much) or if you should just skip to the next. You can even scan the entire system you traveled to for anomalies!

I really enjoyed the layout of the Tempest. It’s easy to get around and I really love the view from the bridge. From what I’ve seen, certain characters have their spots they tend to be in but they do move around and all the areas are easy to access with ladders that connect the levels. There are no elevators that you have to select levels on and wait to load anymore. It definitely feels like home. And to be honest, there are areas that remind me a bit of the layout of Serenity from Firefly.

For me, the story drew me in pretty quickly. So many things happen. The game throws you right in and I had to slowly gather my bearings much like the Pathfinder did in the game. It doesn’t start all sugar and rainbows and you being the badass like Shepard. However, it gives you a sense of progression the more you proceed and that gave me a sense of accomplishment. As well as a sense as to how dire your role is in this new galaxy.

The lead enemy guy is a very curious character. I’ll leave it at that. His body language reveal so much in the brief moment he was on screen. I would share in full detail but that would be too many spoilers. (You can contact me if you want to know my thoughts on him.)

This “animation failure” everyone had I only experienced once on one character – Addison. There was also one instance where the lips didn’t match up but that could have been caused by multiple things. Everyone else didn’t have issues at all or was so minimal that it hardly bothered me. In fact, there was an extreme attention to detail on the motions/animations of your direct crew (which I’m going to be spending the most time with anyway). I could watch Vetra move around for hours. She’s so fluid. I can definitely see more attention being given to the aliens than the humans in game but it really doesn’t ruin my gameplay.

The whole crew is very loveable. I seriously cannot hate any of them. They are all unique and bring their personalities to the table. You get to talk to everyone on your small crew and they all have their reasons for being in Andromeda. Feeling so different than any of the Normandy crew but still making you feel right at home in the Mass Effect universe. Even the starting human squadmates are enjoyable. Picking one of them to romance is honestly going to be one of the hardest decisions of all the BioWare games ever. I mean it. I don’t know who to pick! (And I usually know ahead of time after reading lots of spoilers and teasers.)

One thing that already makes this different is the amount of female characters. Female aliens especially. Previously it felt like every character was male but now it feels more balanced!

There is a lot of dialogue and even BioWare themselves confirmed that this has the most dialogue than any of the previous game by a mile. Which I really prefer. This is a RPG and I want to talk to everyone. There’s so many conservations happening and the banter on the operations deck is one of the best (the only thing I’ll say here is Girl Scout cookies).

The combat is well polished. Like nearly flawless. The fighting felt fluid and definitely had its challenging moments. I went for a more tech based route to start (since I usually play as Engineer/Soldier). There are a lot of new skills to try and the skill tree is very reminiscent of ME1 (which was my favorite of the three) mixed with ME3. There are a lot of weapons you’ll remember from before and some new ones. One thing I will suggest is combining jet pack and melee. That is a ton of fun. Try it once… you’ll see.

The Nomad. Now I’m a hardcore Mako lover. Anyone who knows me knows I’m obsessed with that vehicle. However, I do really enjoy the Nomad. It took a few minutes to get my bearings with it but once I did I was able to climb over virtually anything! It even got me to the top of the map where I thought it would have issues. With it being able to hop from terrain mode to speed mode, it made traveling a lot more user friendly. I will admit though… I do miss shooting things.

The music is fantastic and I could listen to for hours (and I most likely will).

Within the 10 hours I played, there were already two characters from the previous games being mentioned. I won’t name who or go into much detail but it’s nice to hear some familiar voices and meet some of the family.

Overall it all feels like you’re coming back home to Mass Effect… just in a different galaxy.

Cons/Bugs:

Multiplayer has the most issues… which is shitty for me because I love ME MP. On PC, everyone’s mic is automatically on (unless you mute it) and it took multiple tries to silence people. I don’t think people even realize it but it’s annoying when their game is blaring into your ears while you’re trying to play. And then the lag… it was really difficult to play with so many lag issues. I would jump and return right to the original area, a bunch of running in place instances, and such. It was tough to bear through but I managed 3 matches (only 1 with extraction). But to be honest I had multiple issues with ME3 MP when it first came out. Hell, I was one of the few with the rare Black Hole glitch. (Trust me that sucked.) Andromeda MP has a lot of potential and is definitely challenging. Just needs a bit of fixing. (This could also explain why the beta for MP was never released.) Once it is fixed, it’ll be fun.

As for single player, there are little things that were buggy. Like I could not change the color of my Pathfinder’s armor. No matter what I did and how many times I tried, it reverted back to the black/red combo. (I was trying for a white/orange/black aka Cerberus colors). It was extremely annoying. I tried it multiple times and even reloaded the game but still had this issue. It allowed me to change my casual outfit with no issues though!

The only other major problem I had was when my game got stuck on the map screen and wouldn’t let me escape no matter what. I had to shut it down and restart. I had another instance where I was stuck on the menu screen and it blacked out and crashed.

I had a few other bugs but reloading it fixed them. These bugs included minor things like the omni-scanner having issues staying on.

The interface on the PC is a little weird. There are two. One that holds the main journal/skills/saves/etc and one that opens up for loading saved games. It's a little weird and I wished they kept it as the original style.

Now as for that “walking” bug people experienced, as another friend put it, “I actually had to go out of my way to get the weird walking animations, I ended up sprinting at a staircase and erratically moving the joystick back and forth to get that odd walking animation for like ten seconds. But I had to purposefully do it to get that animation weirdness." Two others and I also had to purposefully do it to get that odd walk. So don’t believe everything you see/hear.

Final notes:

There are a lot of reviews out there that range from blindingly negative to absolutely positive. Some say the animations are game breaking while others haven’t seen it in their playthrough. Some even complained there is too much dialogue… in an RPG… yeah, I’ve seen those complaints. I suggest you take all of the reviews with a grain of salt, including mine. Why? Everyone will have different playthroughs. Some will experience zero issues while others will have loads of issues. Many have praising results while others have critical opinions. One thing is certain though, 10 hours is hardly scratching the surface of this game. I would suggest you try it for yourself (rent it if you have to) before you succumb to others opinions. If you like it, if you don’t like it, at least you experienced it for yourself. And also don’t attack others for having a different opinion.

As for me, I feel right at home. I feel like if you loved the exploration, the story, and the romances in the original trilogy then you’ll really love Andromeda. I am really looking forward to how vast this game is going to be and know I’m going to be putting in easily over 100 hours in the single player (and another 400 hours into multiplayer once it’s fixed). One thing I am going to do differently this time around is take my time. I will admit that I rushed through ME3 (mostly to get to the Garrus romance scenes asap) and felt like I missed so much that I had no choice but to play a second time to really absorb it. But this… this I really want to enjoy. I want to take it all in. The one thing it does do is make you feel like you are right back in the Mass Effect world. I’m ready to return. I’m ready to continue my adventures as the Pathfinder. I’m ready for Andromeda. (And I’m going to secretly hope for that one Volus to roll out of cyro.)

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sandrasapp78 · 4 years ago

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Marijuana Moon Rocks: What Are They?

Marijuana moon rocks might seem like the white whale of cannabis products. You see big celebs surrounded by them, but it’s rare you see them out in the wild. When it comes to keeping up with cannabis, there are always new methods, trends, and products taking the marijuana community by storm. However, there’s a cannabis concept that seems to be “out of this world”– marijuana moon rocks! Moon rocks are becoming more popular among cannabis lovers, and curiosity in the community is growing.

The name itself may seem intimidating. At first thought, moon rocks look like the kind of cannabis that can have you blast off into a major high. This isn’t always the case. We suggest before experiencing the effects of marijuana moon rocks, you might want to learn more about what they are and if they’re something that interests you!

What are Moon Rocks?

Marijuana moon rocks are the luxury item of the cannabis culture. While some refer to it as the “champagne” or even “caviar” of the cannabis community, one thing is clear– they’re fancy. Legend has it that moon rocks were discovered when West Coast rapper Kurupt trademarked his brand of this special strain.

So, what makes moon rocks so special? Well, they’re high-quality cannabis buds that have been dipped in or sprayed with hash oil. After the hash oil, they are rolled in kief for a rich cannabis creation.

How Do You Consume Moon Rocks?

While they may be a bit classier than your average bud, you can smoke moon rocks the same way you would regular marijuana. You can break them up for your bowl, joint, pipe, or vape. However, the density of moon rocks makes it harder to stay lit– so we would suggest using a pipe instead of a joint.

How Strong Are Moon Rocks?

Nobody wants to dive too deep into a potent strain, so you want to make sure that moon rocks won’t overwhelm you. While standard strains are typically known to have around 17-28% THC, moon rocks average about 50% THC.

The potency will vary between batches, but most moon rocks will produce substantial smoke clouds and an out-of-this-world experience. Moon rocks are known to give you a high that is more of a journey than a pit-stop. By this, we mean that it’s a slow burn, starting in your head before spreading through your body for a long-lasting and wild experience.

Are Moon Rocks Safe?

Your safety depends on your comfort with the potency in moon rocks. If you think you can handle the high level of THC, it might be something you enjoy. However, if you’re prone to severe paranoia or increased heart rate when smoking too much, you might want to reconsider this method.

If you want to create a safer mindset for your moon rock experience, we can suggest a few tips. First, you want to make sure you’ve eaten a nice big meal and are full enough to keep even the most major munchies in check. Having eaten beforehand can also help you avoid nausea. Next, you should surround yourself with a lot of water– dry mouth is inevitable.

You want to steady your pace when trying moon rocks, so you don’t get stuck in a haze of too-intense results. We suggest taking it really, really slow if you’re new to the method. Lastly, choose a safe environment where you feel comfortable and happy, which will help you avoid paranoia and intensity.

How Expensive are Moon Rocks?

Moon rocks wouldn’t be luxury cannabis without a luxury cost. They’re priced higher than your average marijuana, with the average cost for an eighth is around $100. Are they worth it? Many cannabis community icons would vouch for it– in fact, they’re quite the staple among famous rappers!

If you don’t feel like breaking the bank to get yourself some quality kush, you can always try to make your own moon rocks!

How Do I Make Moon Rocks?

If you’re in the mood to “DIY” your moon rocks at home, you’ll need to make a shopping list.

First, you want to grab your favorite strain. However, we should note that moon rocks are most commonly made with the Girl Scout Cookie strain if you’re going to stick to tradition. You can then pair your strain of choice with a lovely concentrate/hash oil of your choosing. The next necessity is something you may have been preparing for, ever since you started grinding your weed– the kief. You’re going to need a lot, so you might want to wait until the bottom of your grinder is nice and full.

As far as necessary tools go, you’ll be prepared as long as you have a pair of tongs (or something to pinch with) and a quality liquid dropper. Then, unleash your inner cannabis artist and craft the moon rocks that will take you to outer space!

The Verdict

If you’re interested in an intense, high-end cannabis experience (and think you can handle the high THC levels), moon rocks might be an excellent option for you. Whether you DIY it or find freshly prepared rocks, we hope you have a great experience.

For advanced cannabis consumers, this might be your next venture in the culture, but be prepared– they pack a powerful punch. So, always remember to keep your surroundings positive for the best experience. Don’t just dive into marijuana moon rocks because you saw your favorite celeb showing off their rocks! It’s not for everyone, and you want to have a pleasant experience.

At the end of the day, you might be looking for a crazy cannabis experience that takes you to another planet with just a few puffs…

Moon rocks can provide an intense and memorable (or maybe not so memorable) experience that can make you realize why they’re the official choice of luxury icons! While some call it cannabis champagne and others claim it’s the cannabis caviar– it’s really up to you to judge. As long as you're prepared, educated, and in a good mindset… blast off! We hope you have a great time.

from News About Marijuana https://www.theherbcollectiveoc.com/single-post/2020/08/29/Marijuana-Moon-Rocks-What-Are-They

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benjamingarden · 7 years ago

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How to Make Dandelion Cookies (with Essential Oils)

Have you ever made dandelion cookies? If not, it’s time! For one, they’re tasty! They’re also easy to make and have some great health benefits to boot. If you’re new to cooking with dandelions, its great fun to forage for those lovely yellow gems and then turn them in to delicious food. These dandelion cookies will be loved by everyone. Ready to try them?

I’ve been a dandelion lover for as long as I remember. I even wrote a poem about dandelions when I was younger! While I’ve never understood why people view dandelions as weeds (they ARE actually flowers. Invasive flowers, but still flowers!) and took such drastic measures to destroy them. Needless to say, it’s exciting to watch dandelions rise from hated to revered in our culture. Slowly but surely.

Why Dandelions?

Why the sudden mainstream interest in the lowly dandelion? The masses are finally catching on to what so many have known for a long time: they are good for you. Not only that, but every single part of the dandelion can be used for a variety of amazing things.

Dandelions are high in antioxidants (they contain things like luteolin (known to reduce free radicals) along with vitamins C, A and B12. They help support such things as healthy blood sugar levels, blood pressure and gall bladder function.

Dandelions are thought to help with supporting your body to its proper weight (by helping to get rid of ‘water weight’), help loosen you up when you’re elimination tract is stopped up, and even helps support the skin to stay healthy (and zit free).

More widely, dandelions known to help with aches and pains (which is why they’re often found in salves like this one). In fact, they’re found in all sorts of things: tinctures, tonics, tea, pesto–like this, wine, cordial, pie (like this dandelion rhubarb pie I make every year), lip balm, jelly (it tastes like honey–here’s the recipe) and more.

If you’d like to know more about the health benefits of dandelions, check out this article by Dr. Axe.

Picking and Preparing Dandelions

And now, if you’re still craving dandelion things, here’s yet another recipe for you: dandelion cookies! I love giving people reasons to nurture and not kill dandelions (another important reason for dandelions is that it’s some of the first food for bees in the spring).

These cookies are tasty and easy to make.

First you’ll need some dandelions. When collecting your flowers, it’s good to go early while they’re fully open. Also, avoid areas that have been sprayed (or that you’re unsure about) and areas that are close to heavy trafficked roads. One of the biggest reasons to eat dandelions is for health benefits, so be careful to select ‘organic’ flowers that aren’t covered with toxic substances.

You’ll need 1/2 up of just the petals for this recipe (no green parts at all–those parts are bitter). Generally, I pick around 3 cups to get .5 cups of petals.

Once you collect your dandelions, gently rinse them in cool water and lightly pat them dry-ish with a towel or paper towels (they will stain with their yellow pollen, so don’t use something you love).

Next, you’ll want to de-petal the flowers. The easiest way I’ve found to do it is by firmly taking the green bulb part of the flower with my thumbs and pulling it apart. Then it’s easy to pull the flowers from the base without getting any green bits in it at all. Here’s a bit more detail on how to do that:

Or, if you’d rather, here’s a little video of the process:

Dandelion Cookie Recipe

Now that the hardest part of the process is complete, the cookies themselves are quick to make.

First, pre-heat your oven to 375 degrees.

You will need:

1/2 cup coconut oil (softened) or other oil or even butter 1/2 cup honey (if you slightly warm it, it’s easier to stir into the mixture) 2 eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup flour (I use Bob’s Red Mill 1-to-1 Gluten Free Flour–but regular flour will work fine too) 1 cup old-fashioned oats 1 teaspoon baking powder pinch of salt Sprinkle of cinnamon

1/4 cup unsweetened shredded coconut 1/4 cup chopped pecans 3-5 drops Tangerine essential oil (food grade only) or other citrus oil of choice (optional)

What to do:

First, soften the coconut oil and mix with the slightly warmed honey (don’t make it too hot or you’ll cook your eggs!) Mix in your eggs and vanilla stirring well.

In a second bowl, mix flour, oats, baking powder, salt and cinnamon together. Pour this mixture into the wet mixture and stir. Mix in the essential oils if you’re using them (they add a lovely taste).

Next add the coconut and pecans.

Drop them by spoonful onto a cookie sheet. (These cookies don’t get much bigger than the dollop of dough you place on the cookie sheet). Bake for 10-12 minutes, or until browned on the bottom and golden on top. Move to a cooling rack. Eat these cookies warm or cold (or warm AND cold if you’re like me!) I made a batch of these cookies and shared them with my neighbors. They thought they made a great breakfast cookie. I agree. (But they’re also good any other time as well!)

If you keep them in the tablespoon-ish size, you’ll get a couple dozen cookies. If you make them bigger, you’ll get less.

Ingesting Essential Oils

If you’re going to use essential oils in your cooking be VERY VERY VERY sure that the oils that you’re using are safe to ingest. I bring this up because MOST of the oils on the market aren’t safe to take internally (and should say so on the bottle). Also check on the bottle to see if there’s a nutrition label (like any other food we consume). If it doesn’t have that, steer clear.

If you’re interested in pure therapeutic grade oils, let me know. I’d love to help you get started. Or, you can also start here.

Tangerine (and other citrus oils)

Why I chose to add tangerine oil to my cookies is because it tasted great! Tangerine oil supports healthy digestion and metabolism, cleans and purifies the body, supports healthy immunity. It also smells terrific.

Other citrus oils have similar properties and would taste fantastic as well. Try Lemon, Lime or Wild Orange.

Mmmm. Mmmm. Enjoy!

How to Make Dandelion Cookies (with Essential Oils) was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

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newsvomit-blog · 7 years ago

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The best way to lose weight boils down to these three things -

Call it what you will: An eating plan, a lifestyle, a diet, a philosophy, but few things garner such heated debate as how to lose weight.The truth is, whether you’re on a low-carb keto program, devoted to the Paleo lifestyle, all in to the Whole 30 or remain committed to low-fat eating, these plans have more in common than you think.What’s more, follow any one of them religiously, and you’ll likely notice results.In a new study, Stanford University researchers put more than 600 overweight adults on either a healthy low-fat or low-carb diet.

It turns out, participants had similar levels of weight loss success on each plan.Researchers looked for clues (such as insulin levels and gene patterns) to see if there are any factors that might make someone more successful on either diet, but after combing through the data, they were not able to make any connections.Since it may take years before scientists discover individual traits that could lead to more success on one plan compared to another, for now, we can learn a lot — and lose a lot! — by recognizing the dieting advice that all experts agree on.Here are three commandments that cross over all types of weight-loss approaches.Considering that only 1 in 10 Americans meet their produce requirements, it’s pretty safe to say you need to eat more veggies.

And no matter what food philosophy you subscribe to, veggies are a big part of the program.Vegetables have a lot going for them: They fill you up for very few calories, and they flood your body with the nutrients it needs to fight diseases, like heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and some cancers.If you follow food trends, you might think you have to fall in love with cauliflower and kale to reap all the rewards that veggies offer, but that isn’t the case.Be it broccoli, sweet potatoes, carrots, red peppers, cabbage, spinach, or any other vegetable, the idea is to eat a variety of them and find plenty of ways to enjoy their goodness.

So if you just can’t stomach steamed Brussels sprouts, try them roasted, or give sautéed Brussels sprouts a try.If raw zucchini isn’t your thing, see if you like it spiralized into noodles or grilled on a grill pan.Considering that only 1 in 10 Americans meet their produce requirements, it’s pretty safe to say you need to eat more veggies.Considering that only 1 in 10 Americans meet their produce requirements, it’s pretty safe to say you need to eat more veggies.Using a layered approach is another great way to build a good veggie habit.For example, start with a food you already enjoy — say, pasta — and layer some veggies into your bowl.

This can help you explore a new food with one you already love eating, and from there, you can try new ways to savor it.Take spinach, for instance.After trying it with pasta, you may want fold it into an omelet or another favorite food, or explore it on its own with different cooking techniques (sautéed or steamed) or different flavor additions (garlic or golden raisins).

The possibilities are limitless!You can blame biology for your sweet tooth.We’re hardwired to have a preference for sweets, and this drive is universal and begins early on, according to research on the subject.Sugar makes food taste good, so food companies add it to everything from breads to soups to salad dressings to cereals, yogurts and more.

This adds up to way too much sugar!On average, Americans consume more than 19 teaspoons of sugar per day—far in excess of the American Heart Association’s 6 teaspoon limit for women and 9 teaspoon limit for men.This is not doing your waistline any favors, which is why every weight loss plan advocates eating less sugar.There has been some confusion that a low-fat diet means you can feast on low-fat cookies and other treats, but this, again, is the food manufacturers’ influence.The true intent of low-fat dining is to eat more healthful foods that are naturally low in fat: fruits, vegetables, beans, lean proteins and whole grains.There is plenty of research to support a low-fat lifestyle, just as there is strong evidence that you can lose weight by cutting carbs.

Different approaches work for different people, but if you want to slim down, cutting back on added sugars is consistent advice across all programs.One more note on added sugars: Whether you call it agave, cane juice, maple syrup, brown rice syrup, fruit juice concentrate, date sugar or any of the 61 names for added sugar, they all spell trouble for your health and your waistline.I’m in favor of any program that promotes whole foods over hyper-processed fare, and this is one thing the popular diet plans can agree on.Overly processed foods have been linked to weight gain, perhaps because many unhealthy packaged foods (think: potato chips, ice cream, frozen pizza, cookies and the like) lack the fiber found in many whole foods, including vegetables.Fiber helps fill us up, and research suggests that by simply adding more fiber to your menu, you can lose weight nearly as well as a more complicated approach.

Consistently choosing whole foods is one way to do this.Whole foods include fruits, vegetables, beans, nuts, seeds, whole grains, eggs, seafood, chicken and so on.Food philosophies may differ around which of these foods to emphasize, but that’s okay, since the evidence shows that there isn’t a single best way to lose weight.The goal is to select an approach that feels sustainable to you.

If you can easily live without pasta, perhaps a low-carb method centered around veggies and quality proteins, like seafood, chicken, and lean beef would be a good fit.Vegans and vegetarians can lose weight by choosing fruits, vegetables, whole grains and plant proteins.Nut lovers may do well shedding pounds with a Mediterranean-style menu.

Whatever diet appeals to your appetite and way of life, focusing on whole foods is something that all plans promote.Want more tips like these? BETTER is obsessed with finding easier, healthier and smarter ways to live.Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.Source: NBC News.

The best way to lose weight boils down to these three things – was originally published on NewsVomit

#boils #these #things #three #weight

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eleanorblogs · 7 years ago

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On how to build strength | my first blog post!

First of all, I’d like to say welcome! This will be my first of many uplifting and ardent posts to come here on EleanorBlogs. You’ve probably found your way here because you are on your own journey to self-love and need a helping hand; or just like me you like to keep up to date with the latest film and music trends. (You could just be here because you are a special friend of mine and I have invited you here… you guys truly rock!)

This first post will be a personal note. One I’d like to share with you to raise awareness on anorexia nervosa, general mental health and the importance of being a tough-cookie in challenging situations you are bound to have, no matter who you are.

But before we get on to that, I’d like you to get to know me first. My name is Ellie (short for good ol’ Eleanor), I’m seventeen years old and I live in a large town in North West England. I’ve lived here my whole life, and tend to like it here. I’ve met many amazing, supportive and talented people through lower and higher education, in which all have entered and exited my life for exciting and sometimes poignant reasons. Every single one, in some form or another, have all inspired me to begin writing this blog.

Self-love has been a significant part of my life since my past troubles with an eating disorder in 2016 through to early 2017. It’ll be the sole focus of this post, as I would like to open you up to my life and the real issues that can be overcome with strength and time.

All eating disorders begin differently, and therefore I cannot generalise my story to all soldiers of the mental (and physical) battle. I can only tell from experience, which was one that aimed for the optimistic goal of starting a healthier, happier life initially. I felt powerful for a while, but eventually it all came to a terrible struggle that I endured for almost a year.

I do not regret this power I held to lose weight, as in my time of weight-gain I realised that there was nothing ‘fat,’ or ‘unattractive,’ about my past self. It also helped my understanding of others, as I came to know that you are not alone in the deterioration of your mental health. Family and friends will always be by your side to build yourself back up if you call out for help.

This slowly-learnt knowledge has pushed me to make this blog; to bring about a community of film, music and book lovers, and to encourage all those at war with their bodies to start showing the compassion and support that they show to others, to themselves.

To all those suffering with the reflection they see in the mirror, my Auntie once told me: It is not about the number on the scale, it’s the way you feel about yourself.

Here’s my first step by step guide to maintaining happiness (I’ll make it fun I promise!):

1. Make yourself number one priority!

Make a bullet point list of your goals on your self-love journey. An example a great friend of mine gifted to me was the beginning of a ‘weekly self-love day.’ This is where you have a bath or shower, shave (if you wish), cut your nails and toenails, paint them, moisturise, use a facemask; whatever you desire to make YOU feel good!

2. Plan your week to manage your workload.

Whether you are a student or not, keeping yourself busy is so important to feed your happiness. Create a weekly schedule, planning the days you are free, the days you will spend revising for exams and the times you are in work or education. It is also significant to fit in rest slots to this plan, to eat and to do things you enjoy (like playing a short game on your phone for example or watching an episode of your favourite TV show.)

3. Make time for the friends that make YOU happy.

In life, you will continue to meet people who create an impact on your social and school life. If these people make you laugh, smile, or generally make you feel good, arrange plans with them in your free time to get yourself out of the house for a few hours. Have sleepovers, eat junk for one night and share your favourite films to binge. This is something every human appreciates, so fit these people into your schedule as often as you wish!

4. Eat what you want in moderation.

Now this is probably the most boring bullet point out of the five (let’s face it, we’re all a little guilty with overeating our favourite food), but the amount food and water you consume daily is definitely number one in affecting your mental and physical health. Over the Christmas period I am bound to eat a little too much chocolate, and order too many takeaways, but there is nothing wrong with this as long as it only lasts a short period. Day to day, eat a maximum of five fruit or veg a day, drink two litres of water, and exercise (such as walking) for thirty minutes 4 days a week to maintain a nourished and loved soul and body.

5. Be good to you before you’re good to others.

This is similar to the first bullet point, but I want to give a bit of advice: If you do not love yourself first, the vibe you may give off to others may be negative and off-putting. During my dark time, I did exactly this and lost a fair few friends in high school. I became quiet and isolated because I did not love myself, and due to this my friends were disappointed and confused on why I would constantly bail on plans and skip school. This was NOT the way to cope. You do not have to deal with what I did. Be GOOD to yourself. Get out of the house and splurge a bit of money in the shops; if you’re not ready to do this, go online and order something that catches your eye! Pick up a new hobby like drawing or writing, and please don’t bail on friends or hide your feelings from them. If you’re not ready to go out to events they’ve invited you to, ask them to come over to your house where you are most comfortable and explain how you’re feeling (in most cases they would want to help). When you learn how to enjoy your own life, you’ll find it easier to be a light in someone else’s.

And this brings to a close the first post in my blog. The next will be a bit more light-hearted, fun and current with trends in the media, and as you read on I hope you will become a part of the self-love club.

Till next time!

Ellie

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superfitbabe · 7 years ago

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Why hello there!

Want to dissect my brain? Of course you don’t. That would be utterly disgusting and I would die. Let’s not do that.

Jokes aside, I’m currently caffeine-high from my daily dose of chocolate in the form of chocolate Teddy Grahams, which I’ll get into later in this post, but for now, let’s get into the nitty-gritties right away, shall we? It’s been more than six months since I’ve started bulking, which I’ll admit, shifted from clean to dirty time to time. So far, since my starting weight, I have gained a very reasonable amount of mass. My current weight tends to fluctuate in a seven-pound range–my minimum being the heaviest I ever was in junior year, and my maximum being the heaviest I was in my sophomore year.

With that being said, I think I can safely say that I’ve put on at least four pounds of muscle. Six months with only four pounds of muscle may seem like a completely utter waste to you, but firstly, I didn’t take my bulk as seriously as I should have until the end of my college quarter when I lost weight from stress, and secondly, it is pretty much impossible to gain more than one pound of muscle per week if at a rapid pace. My bulk is meant to move steadily. I’m proud, not satisfied. That’s all I can say about how I feel.

Processed with VSCO with f2 preset

Before (L) and after (R): taken a month apart. (And I didn’t realize it until now…my left hand looks awfully pale!)

Body image is another aspect of my life that I’ve slowly nurtured. I still have a long ways to go. It’s easy for me to accept all shapes and sizes of other women (and men, of course) and applaud those who embrace their curves, body rolls, cellulite, stretch marks, and many more. I’ve seen myself thick, thin, chubby, slender, and even a little muscular. For now, it’s not about redefining the beauty standards for myself, but finding the beauty in every single size I wore in my lifetime. Yes, even when I was overweight.

Eating has consistently and slowly increased, while I’ve still been tracking to make sure I don’t undereat. My goal for next year is to use my food diary only once or twice a week rather than daily, but I’m still working on adjusting my intuitive eating patterns before I can do so. Most of the time, it’s been relatively easy to pile more food on the plate. What can I say? I love my carbs! With the increased intake, I’ve felt a lot more energetic in my workouts. I sweat in the earlier part of my session–not just because of the heat wave–instead of midway or later, and I feel as if I recover more quickly unless if I seriously go in it for the kill. My bowls and plates went up at least three sizes.

Even though my appetite naturally grows with more physical activity, I still make sure I listen to my body and eat plentifully for my needs. Heck, I’ve learned to enjoy oats, ice cream, and tacos on rest days, which are foods that I would practically limit all the time several years ago!

Still obsessed with bean pasta! This is a red lentil pasta with Brussel sprouts, caramelized onions, butternut squash, Rosemary, and a vegan Vietnamese curry loaded with onions, carrots, and potatoes!

For some reason, I haven’t touched the peanut butter jar in a long time–it’s not something I crave on the daily, anymore! Now I eat TONS of fruit, popcorn, oats, beans (bean pasta is one of my favorite ways to , veggie patties, greens, rice, vegetables, avocados, and nutritional yeast! I still eat plenty of tofu, but not nearly as much as I used to. Not-so-surprisingly, I haven’t touched mock meat since the trip. Vietnam put me on a soy overkill, if I say so myself. Oh yeah, and even though I exceed my daily fiber requirements all the time, my fiber consumption has nearly doubled. No indigestion here. Too much?

Psychological and mental relationship with food has healed immensely. I no longer find myself worrying too much about overeating, and not so much undereating, either! I lose weight on days I’d think I’d gain, and vice versa. The body is so complex that I’ve gotten past the paranoia of sticking to a range of calories. However, I do still analyze nutritional information and ingredients. Doing so has enabled me to heal my relationship with food and breaking past anxieties.

Take Teddy Grahams, for instance. They were deemed as an unhealthy snack for the longest time–at least in my own mind. Once I found these amazingly delicious chocolate My Super Cookies that tasted and looked just like chocolate Teddy Grahams, I was instantly hooked! If you look online and analyze the nutrition information, they are nearly identical in terms of calorie content, fat, carbs, sugar, fiber, protein, everything! However, if you are allergic to gluten, nuts, and prefer organic ingredients, then My Super Cookies is a better bet. But as a consumer who can eat almost anything that isn’t dairy, I’ll gladly take my Teddy Grahams if it’s the only option!

As of now, I have learned that calories are merely units of energy that help increase body temperature (which is why you tend to sweat when you eat a large amount of food). Even though they are absorbed by the body in pretty different manners depending on the dominant macronutrients, sometimes, it’s really not that serious. If you want a serving of Oreos but fear that you should be consuming the same amount of calories in fruit or vegetables, then make sure you’re getting your whole foods before the treats. On the other hand, there’s nothing wrong with a mini-indulgence to bring sanity to the mind. So don’t hate on Oreo lovers.

Okay, now for exercise, which probably involves the most change. Basically, I no longer do steady-state cardio such as biking, jump-roping, running, swimming, and anything of that sort. Every session, I strength train at least two upper body parts–most of the time, I pair shoulders and deltoids with chest, biceps and triceps, and back with lats–and incorporate HIIT and/or strength and toning exercises.

Training sessions are still an hour and a half, sometimes a little more to sneak in some form of warm-up and stretching, whether it be ab work or static stretching (while in Vietnam, they were sometimes forty-five minutes or an hour long). I’ve gotten much better with general recovery by stretching consistently and taking rest days seriously.

Here’s what a sample routine looks like:

5 minute warm-up

15 minutes of HIIT

1 minute intervals of jump squats x 3

1 minute intervals of mountain climbers x 3

1 minute intervals of push-ups x 3

1 minute intervals of burpees x 3

1 minute intervals of jumping lunges x 3

30 minutes of strength training with weights (dumbbells are 8-15 lbs)

10-15 reps of front raises x 3

10-15 reps of chest flies x 3

10-15 reps of lateral raises x 3

10-15 reps of shoulder presses x 3

10-15 reps of upright rows x 3

45 minutes of body-weight strength training

20-25 reps of alternating lunges (som

1 minute intervals of mountain climbers x 3

1 minute intervals of push-ups x 3

1 minute intervals of burpees x 3

1 minute intervals of jumping lunges x 3

5 minute cool-down

Quick Update: Physique, Diet, and Fitness Why hello there! Want to dissect my brain? Of course you don't. That would be utterly disgusting and I would die.

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casualarsonist · 8 years ago

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The Witcher 3 review

The Witcher 3 is the best game I have ever played.

This doesn’t mean it’s a perfect game, an entirely complete game, or above being frustrating at times.

But in a world of cookie-cutter copy-and-paste busywork-rammed factory-made conveyor-belt-production-line open-world games, The Witcher 3, in my opinion, stands heads and shoulders about the rest.

Now it’s worth a mention as I start that this is the second time I’ve reviewed The Witcher 3 and my first take on the game was not quite so flattering. I was bothered by a few things, namely the baffling exclusivity of the narrative that failed to fill us in on the back stories of characters that were old friends to Geralt and strangers to anyone that hadn’t read the novels, as well as the sheer exhaustive amount of content on offer (‘what’s that?!’ I hear you cry, ‘you were critical of it for the level of content?!’ Not critical, as such, just, as I said, exhausted.) I wrote an enormous paragraph about how I wasn’t able to be invested in a story that relied on me knowing the histories of the key characters in order to understand their function on a practical and a personal level. I felt particularly slighted given TW2 followed on directly from TW1 in such a way as the only requirement for the player’s full investment in the story was to have finished the first game, but even then it was enough of its own product that it could be reliably enjoyed autonomously. I was also quite simply fatigued by it all. The numerous maps are sprawling, packed with locations and people and missions. Your quest list becomes absolutely rammed with things to do, and factor in all the travelling and searching and listening and reading…well, it’s a bit investment, and something you need to be prepared to pay attention to in order to fully enjoy, and I fully admit that I wasn’t mentally prepared to forsake everything else and focus simply on letting myself be a part of this world for as long as it took to finish the game, and without that dedication, without giving yourself permission to be sucked into the living, breathing empire of the Northern Kingdoms it can feel a little overwhelming. It was the first of The Witcher games that I had failed to complete in one go, which in retrospect is both paradoxically shocking and yet unsurprising as it’s clearly the best of the series by a mile, but it’s also the most grand. So, after some time had passed and the game had had a few updates I went back, and I found that somethings had changed, others had not, but most importantly, with fresh eyes I found the greatest open-world game ever made.

If you know nothing of The Witcher series then I won’t be able to cover everything for you, but in short, TW3 is the continuing story of Geralt of Rivia – a Witcher, or beast-slayer for hire. The Northern Realms have been invaded by the Nilfgaardian Empire from the south, and are losing the war. Geralt has been contacted by his former lover Yennifer of Vengeberg, and attempts to track her down whilst doing his best to dodge the affairs of the various armies, but whereas TW2 went full-on Game Of Thrones with complex political dealings and many choices to be made by the player character that affected the world at large, TW3 is a much more personal story. After finally coming into contact with Yennifer, with whom Geralt seems indelibly connected despite the fact that neither is particularly good for one another, she informs him that she’s working for the Nilfgaardian emperor, who has summoned Geralt for a meeting. In the meeting, Geralt is informed that the emperor’s daughter, Ciri, has gone missing. Ciri trained as a Witcher under Geralt, and as such he has a deep paternal connection to her. Ciri is also the last of the bloodline of an ancient elven race and has the ability to manipulate time and space, and is fleeing the Wild Hunt – a group of malicious elves determined to use her powers for destruction and control.

It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it? And it isn’t helped by the fact that the major players – Yennifer, Ciri, the Nilfgaardian emperor, and the Wild Hunt all have a rich history with Geralt that is referenced, but not elaborated upon or explained in-game for the player, and this is a huge problem if you’re supposed to be relating to the feelings felt between Geralt and Yennifer, but you don’t know who Yennifer is and have no reason to care for her, for instance. At its worst it’s crippling, devastating to the player’s ability to connect with the main plot of the game. There are ever-expanding character bios that give you summaries, but if you want to understand many of the references the characters make throughout your time playing, if you want to understand why Ciri, for instance, is so important, and why the Wild Hunt are to be feared, you’re just going to have to read the books (or the wiki, I guess). This is my single greatest point of contention with TW3, and given that it was the main focus of my last review, I felt it handy to address it upfront here. And perhaps it’s that I devoted more attention to the what is said and written the second time round, perhaps it’s that I was passing over a story with which I now had a familiarity, or perhaps I’m just an idiot and was too thick to get it the first time round, but my second playthrough was a little easier to understand than my first. I still don’t quite get the big deal about Ciri, and I still didn’t connect to Yennifer and had no problem making decisions that worked against her, so I would still label the exclusivity of the plot and its reliance on lore outside of the games as a bad choice by the writers, but it was easier. Seriously though, the fact that it’s called ‘The Witcher 3’ gives the consumer a reasonable expectation that playing the Witchers 1 and 2 is enough required material for following the story, so given that this is almost an entirely new and separate entity with dozens of characters established in the books but never before appearing in the video games, I still feel that it’s hugely problematic that they introduced so many elements foreign to any of the games. This isn’t to say that the whole game is like that – once you learn who the characters and enemies are, the story is gripping and well-written; the DLC especially so as the characters there are ‘discovered’ by Geralt as they are the player. But as I said, this is my main gripe, and while I have one or two big problems with the game, they’re almost alone in this sense of importance.

But what of the game itself? Well, here’s the real treat. Story issues aside, The Witcher 3 is absolutely glorious. The game is incredibly well-optimised, and you ought to be able to find a configuration of settings that will have it playing well on almost any type of rig.

While there were a number of sometimes-fatal glitches upon release, these were more-or-less non-existent upon my returning playthrough. Some of the gameplay systems have been streamlined – the controls are smoother and tighter than they used to be and there’s an alternate control scheme on offer that feels much better when playing with a controller.

Moving away from the Arkham style of glorified quicktime combat that had flooded the market of open world fighting games, TW3’s system of combat is far more skill-based. Things are skewed against you as a newcomer, and there are certain areas that you won’t be able to venture into and certain enemies you won’t be able to defeat for a while after you begin, but the game quickly forces you into learning the virtues of dodging, blocking, effectively parrying, and using your signs (magic powers, basically) to control bands of incoming enemies and gain the upper hand. That is, the more you play it, the better you get. The fighting is wonderfully gory as well, and lopping off heads or slicing people entirely in two never gets old.

The skill tree is vast and allows for a number of different play-styles, although some skills are clearly more useful than others and there’s a good chance that many will go untouched by you forever. Given that the game only lets you use a certain number of upgraded skills at once, there also comes a point when you are simply wasting points on upgrades that you can’t or won’t use. This, along with some elements of the menu interface remain clunky and wasteful in their design, but for a series that is notable for its often frustrating design choices, this is a minor quibble if anything at all.

Traversing the world is a pleasure, and whether on-foot or on Geralt’s horse, Roach, you will cross grassy meadows and snow-capped peaks, stony shores and misty marshes, through populous cobbled cities and small rural villages. Geralt can run and jump, swim or pilot a boat. Roach can navigate the landscape fairly well, and will navigate roads automatically. The developers haven’t quite got the technology down pat in terms of his AI steering and it feels like he takes the wrong fork in the road four out of five times, as well as occasionally stopping dead for no reason or simply refusing to ride down certain slopes, although I suppose you could say that this perfectly mimics the stubborn flightiness of horses.

Compared to the previous games, your actions don’t seem to make as much of an impact here, but acknowledging the fact that this story is a more personal one, I suppose it makes sense that you’re no-longer changing the course of history for entire countries. This is at odds with two things, however; the first being that there are seemingly world-ending consequences to losing Ciri, which sets the stakes enormously high for a game that won’t let you play with the fates of kings and men as the previous game did. Secondly, it’s exactly because your actions had such wide-reaching consequences previously that it feels so incongruent that your actions suddenly have less of an over-all visible impact in this game - Geralt goes from being a pivotal piece in the puzzle to a mere pawn. On the whole, the way they tried to give you a degree of choice just feels a little undercooked, and there’s little to convince the player that we’re doing something other than being marched irrevocably onwards towards one single final point, regardless of what path we choose to take.

Visually, the game is…incredible. This word - ‘incredible’ - feels flaccid because it simply doesn’t do it justice; TW3 has to be seen to be believed. The emotional weight of the narrative is helped immensely by the quality of the facial animations, and every single main character is animated impeccably. The day/night cycle is spectacularly realised, and whether you’re seeing the sun set over calm fields or rise over the blue ocean, you might find yourself frequently stopping to stare and take a screenshot, as I did.

The voice work is also top notch, and it’s hard to find a flaw in any of the performances. Doug Cockle brings his gravelly best to Geralt, and frankly, I can’t imagine anyone else in the role. The role of Geralt disappears with Doug Cockle, in my mind. Denise Gough, a fantastic actor, portrays Yennifer with such strength and biting contrariness that one can’t help but see in her exactly the kind of dangerous hot-headedness but complex humanity that Geralt sees. A massive special mention to James Clyde who plays The Bloody Baron – one of the Northern Kingdom’s lords, a drunk and unprincipled bastard if ever there was one, but not a Nilfgaardian (importantly) and (more importantly) the axis upon which one of the best stories in the game hinges.

His performance and the writing of his character typifies one of the game’s greatest strengths – the fact that the game favours quality side content, an almost unheard-of feature as of late. The main quest mission concerning the Baron is a trifle, but it’s the extended side plot involving him that is truly interesting and echoes with a deep emotional resonance. In this, his character blossoms into one with a wonderful sense of light and shade, a maturity that gamers have long been trained not to expect. Remember how I mentioned cookie-cutter busywork-rammed open-world games? TW3 is the antithesis of these, the antigen to the cancerous Ubisoft model of open-world gaming. Every side mission, every activity, every thing you do in TW3 has context; there is a clear reason for doing them, a clear motivation that is understood by the player and Geralt alike. You feel compelled to finish them not out of an obsessive completionism, but out of a genuine desire to see where they lead. Sometimes you’re investigating interesting new places, sometimes you’re wooed by the character’s stories, sometimes you must make choices that will change the fates of the individuals involved; in most cases you will find yourself invested in what you are doing. Almost never will you be required to go somewhere and collect something for the sake of collecting it, or kill something just for the sake of killing it. Even the simple Witcher contracts (beast-killing bounties) are jazzed up, because the game will often undermine your expectations and deliver a twist or conclusion that you didn’t expect, and this keeps things interesting. There’s a great variety in the amount of activities available as well - many towns will have a noticeboard that will offer you quests and bounties. By the end of the game these have numbered in the hundreds, but as most will lead to a story in and of itself, it’s rare to feel bored by these.

And this is why I was wrong about The Witcher 3 the first time around. This is why I needed to rewrite my review. I initially claimed that it wasn’t the ‘great leap forward’ that so many had predicted, but I was incorrect, because the developer’s dedication to maintaining the quality of the little things and mastery of the technology behind the big things turned it into something bigger than the latest Assassin’s Creed photocopy; something bigger than the soulless Fallout 4. The prevailing opinion these days seems to be that players want more features and more systems. But The Witcher 3 rejects the ‘sandbox’ style of gameplay in which a developer gives the player a set of boundaries and bunch of toys thrown haphazardly about and tells them to make their own fun. They remembered that a single player game is one that relies on narrative; the single player experience is one in which the player is asking to be entertained. So they didn’t settle for a ‘box’, and instead made a series of crafted landscapes, and they rejected the assumption that a pile of toys was enough, instead giving us stories and context. Yes, it still has some bizarre design choices that seem endemic to the series as a whole, but The Witcher 3 is a long way from the clunkiness of the first game. And yes, the established interpersonal relationships can seem impenetrable, but these gripes are outweighed by the importance of everything the game got right. The developers weren’t happy to deliver a sandbox game. They wanted to deliver an open world, a real world with people interacting and feeling and doing and saying and affecting each other, and in turn, affecting us. And by god, they did it.

9.5/10

(Very) Outstanding

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