#it's just that your best friend whom you have a crush on suddenly is several years older instead of your age

[martarkiraayanaminewaccount]

Chapter 2! of my fic :D

[marsdql]

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘜𝘴 ✄

Synopsis: You never thought a quiet new kid, who seemed so distant and out of place, could have such an impact on you, but somehow, his presence turned everything upside down.

genre/warnings: fluff to angst, Sunghoon is really shy, stalking, miscommunication, isolation, social anxiety, self doubt, rejection, drama | Wc: 5.1k

𝒎𝒂𝒓'𝒔 note: Everything that has been going on with me and my crush, who I called Thickie, served as the basis for this. It was really embarrassing, and I still find it hard to move on from it. Everything is still in progress, so I'll turn this into a series if anything more occurs. Legit every detail in here is from my true experience so enjoy! (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

You put on a white shirt with a black skirt and mary janes. Your hair had gotten a lot longer in the summer, your bangs are finally starting to blend in with the rest of your hair length, making you feel more confident. Most people dislike you after an incident that happened in middle school, you were secretly dating the boy everyone liked and when they found out, they all ghosted you. Though you didn't care and knew that their hatred was pure jealousy. Even after everyone left you, everything was getting better, as you finally became best friends with your “friend crushes”, Rei and Tzuyu.

Because you didn't want the summer to end, you and your best friends stayed up all night yelling at each other to go to bed, saying "goodnight" several times, and then messaging again a few seconds later. It was your first day of school. Knowing that you would only be attending school today and departing on a three-day trip to Toronto the following day, however, made you glad.

You walk to school and find Rei outside the school, waving to you with a big smile greeting you.

"Hey!" Rei grins, pulling you into a hug. "Did you get any sleep at all last night?"

You laugh, shaking your head. "Maybe like an hour? You and Tzuyu kept sending 'one more message,' and I couldn't just leave you hanging."

Rei laughs, linking her arm with yours as you both start walking toward the school doors. "Right? I was wide awake until I wasn't. But at least we're suffering together."

As you make your way through the school hallway, you catch glimpses of your classmates, most of whom glance away when they see you. But the familiar sight doesn't bother you as much as it once did. With Rei and Tzuyu by your side, you feel more grounded, more confident.

"So, are you ready for the first day? You know, before you escape to Toronto?" Rei asks, nudging you playfully.

"Absolutely. Today’s just a warm-up before the trip," you reply, your excitement about the getaway shining through.

Rei's eyes sparkle, but she suddenly stops mid-step and lowers her voice. "Oh, did you hear about the new guy?"

You raise an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "Nope. What's the scoop?"

She leans in, lowering her voice to a dramatic whisper. "Apparently, Sohee saw him earlier, and she said he's exactly our type."

You feel a blush creep up on your cheeks, but you laugh it off. "Oh, really? Does he know my type that well?" Sohee was one of your old best friends, you and him were in a trio with another girl from 3rd grade until 8th grade when another girl joined the group and ruined everything. Although, you were never mad at Sohee for leaving you, knowing he was a really shy boy who followed whoever he was with, the second he got gaslighted by them. 

Rei smirks. "Let's just say he has the 'mysterious and smart' vibe. Sohee practically dragged me over to the library just to sneak a peek."

Your eyes widen in amusement. "And you went along with it?"

"Of course! I’m a great friend," Rei jokes, tugging you gently in the direction of the library. "Come on, let’s go check him out. You know you’re curious."

You laugh and shake your head, but you can’t help but let Rei lead you there, the anticipation bubbling up as you both head toward the library.

As you and Rei reach the library, she glances around, scanning for the guy she’s been talking about. Finally, she spots him across the room, and at first, her face lights up with excitement, but it quickly fades as she takes a closer look.

“Really?” she mutters, wrinkling her nose slightly. “I thought he’d look… I don’t know, better? My old crush was way cuter.” She shrugs, clearly unimpressed.

You glance over at him, and while he’s definitely cute—with that relaxed, friendly vibe—you don’t feel the spark that Rei probably thought you would. You chuckle, nodding along. “Yeah, he’s alright,” you say with a smile.

The rest of the school day drifts by, and soon you’re heading home to get ready for your weekend trip to Toronto. The city is as vibrant as you’d imagined, with lights and people everywhere. You spend your time trying new foods, wandering through markets, and snapping photos of everything from the towering CN Tower to the small, hidden bookstore you find tucked away in a quiet alley. The trip feels like a whirlwind, and by the time you get back, you’re bursting with stories to tell Rei and Tzuyu.

The day after you return, you walk into school excited to catch up with your friends. Between classes, you tell Rei and Tzuyu all about Toronto—the food, the shops, the endless things to see—and they laugh as you share your favorite moments. The day flies by, filled with laughter and classes, and finally, the last bell rings.

As usual, you, Rei, and Tzuyu gather your things and start walking to the bus stop. Since the bus doesn’t come directly to school, you have to walk a few blocks to the station—a small routine you’re all used to by now.

You’re halfway there, laughing at something Tzuyu said, when you notice someone familiar standing at the bus stop ahead. It’s him—the guy from the library, earbuds in, looking just as relaxed as before.

“Wait, he’s here?” you ask, stopping in surprise as you look from Rei to Tzuyu.

Rei raises an eyebrow, giving you a knowing smile. “Yeah, he takes the same bus as us. He’s been taking it since the day you left for Toronto.”

You shake your head, laughing a little. “What a coincidence.”

Since then, you've been seeing him at the bus stop every day after school and at the library at lunch. You've been feeling a little something for him, even if you wouldn't admit it. He lets himself be the last person on the bus while you watch him wait for everyone else to board. It warmed your heart to watch him use his phone on the bus and then get up swiftly when he saw an older woman.

One problem, though, was that you didn't know his name, grade, identity, or anything else. You only knew that you followed him everywhere and that you had unintentionally managed to learn his whole routine. – Period 01: PE / Period 02: Local 218 / Period 03: Portable Class / Period 04: Local 214  

You’re sitting in the back of French class, pretending to take notes but actually scribbling on a small piece of paper. Hi, you write, your pen hesitating as your heart races. I think you’re really cool, but i dont have the courage to ask for your socials :)

You look down at the note, wondering if you’re really about to do this. You've seen him on the bus almost every day, yet you don’t know his name or anything about him. But he’s got this quiet vibe, something that just makes you want to reach out.

Before you can change your mind, you fold up the note and slide it into your pocket.

You’re standing by the bus stop, heart pounding, clutching the tiny note in your hand. Just before the bus arrives, you check your reflection in your phone screen, quickly fluffing your hair and taking a shaky breath. 

When the bus pulls up, it’s packed, and as you step on, you spot him—standing near the door, one hand holding the railing, looking a bit squished by the crowd. You can barely breathe, but this is your chance.

With the bus jolting along, you inch your way closer to him, your heart thudding louder with each step. Just as the bus nears your stop, you reach out, tap his shoulder gently, and he turns, startled, his eyes widening in surprise.

You don’t say a word. You just hand him the folded piece of paper. He takes it, still looking confused, and before he can react, you dart off the bus, practically running all the way home, feeling like you’re in a scene from a movie.

Back home, you collapse onto your bed, covering your face with your hands, replaying the moment in your mind. You can’t believe you actually did it!

It was clear that he was timid because you never saw him with friends or spoke with anyone. That's the main reason you couldn't find his socials, he was never with anyone for you to go and stalk their following to see if he has them as a mutual. Until one day, you saw him leave his physical education class one day with a classmate. You had never seen this man smile until that moment. Finally, some information that might be useful to you: he was with a boy who is two years older than you and whom you have seen around since starting high school, meaning that he could be in the yearbook of the previous years.

You sigh, glancing at Rei as you place the yearbook on the lunch table. “Rei, you don’t understand—I’ve searched everywhere for this! I’ve asked everyone in our grade for a yearbook. And now… finally, here it is!” 

Rei grins, leaning closer as you take a huge bite of your sandwich, flipping through the pages, fingers smudging a bit from the crumbs. “Okay, let’s find him,” you say with a determined look, your eyes scanning the faces. You’re on a mission. The guy you like—the quiet, mysterious one you barely ever see talking to anyone—had left gym class one day with another boy. You never saw him smile until that moment. And that moment set you on a quest. 

“Wait!” You stop, finger hovering over a face in the yearbook. You lean in closer. It’s him. The boy who was with the guy you like. “Jake… that’s his name! Rei, that’s him!”

Rei’s eyes widen as she stares at the picture. “So what now?” she whispers, excitement in her voice.

“Now, we find his Instagram.” You both huddle around your phone, searching Jake’s name. A few scrolls later, you find it, click on his profile, and go straight to his following list, fingers crossed, heart racing. 

And then—there he is! The guy you’ve been trying to find for weeks, maybe months, is right there, grinning in his profile photo, holding a peace sign and doing aegyo. You and Rei scream, your excitement echoing across the cafeteria. Everyone’s staring, but you don’t care. After all this time, you’ve found him, you check his name, Park Sunghoon.

“Finally!” Rei laughs, clutching her stomach as she recovers. “He’s so cute! Look at how he's pouting in his picture awwwhhh!!!!!”

You nod, barely able to contain yourself. He’s always been so reserved and alone, never hanging out with anyone—until that day with Jake. And now you’ve got a way to find out more. This journey, all this searching, led you right to him. You can't believe you wrote that letter talking about how you're too shy to ask for his socials and there you are, finding it a week after handing him that letter.

You and Rei are on cloud nine. You both run to the school agora, barely containing yourselves, and collapse into seats, still grinning and squealing over every little detail. 

Rei, not ready to stop, grins and pulls out her phone. “Let’s see if he has a TikTok!” she says, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

A few moments later, she gasps, grabbing your arm. “Oh. My. God.”

“What?” you whisper, leaning in as she clicks on his profile. And right there, at the top of his page, there’s a slideshow video, captioned “Top 1 ways to confess without making things awkward”—in Vietnamese(you both had to translate). You squint, heart pounding, as the first slide comes up.

It’s your letter. The one you slipped on the bus.“Oh my god,” you breathe, covering your mouth as you stare at your handwriting on his screen. There’s a photo of the tiny, folded paper you handed him, with his comment right above it. It’s almost surreal. “He kept it…”

Rei is shaking your arm, eyes wide, practically bursting with excitement. “This is insane! Look at what he wrote!”

You both scream, clutching each other as the full realization hits you. You’re laughing, squealing, and just completely overwhelmed by the moment. You’ve never felt so giddy, your heart racing as everyone in the agora turns to stare. But right now, you couldn’t care less. After all the mystery and excitement, it’s as if the universe gave you the ultimate reward: he noticed, he remembered, and he thought it was amazing.

After all the excitement, you decide to follow him on Instagram. You’re still riding that high from the video he made, and the confidence surge pushes you to hit Follow. Heart pounding, you quickly put your phone down, trying not to overthink it.

Over the next few days, it feels like you’re seeing him everywhere. You’re with your friend Tzuyu in the hallway, talking and laughing, and suddenly—you spot him across the hall. You glance away quickly, but somehow, you keep bumping into him between classes, catching each other’s eye at lunch, or passing by him after gym. It’s almost like the universe is playing matchmaker, making your paths cross just enough to keep you on edge.

After school one day, you’re finally relaxing at home, replaying everything in your mind, when you get a notification. Your heart skips a beat as you see his name on your screen: Park Sunghoon sent you a message.

You open it, holding your breath as you read:

Good evening. I’m sorry to bother you, but are you the girl who gave me a letter?

The formal tone makes you smile. It’s a simple message, polite and careful, but it feels like a small victory. You can hardly believe this is real—he remembers, and he wants to talk.

You stare at the message, fingers hovering over the keyboard, your heart racing as you think of what to say. The moment you’ve been dreaming of is finally here.

You stare at the message, heart pounding, before finally typing, "Yes, I’m sorry if I bothered you with that."

A moment later, he replies: "No, it’s okay. But I have a question…"

Your heart nearly stops. "Do you like me a little bit?" he asks.

Panic sets in. You’re suddenly hyper-aware of how often you’ve been bumping into him, following him on social media, and it feels like your crush is written all over you. But the fear of rejection kicks in, and you decide to play it safe.

“Oh, no! I just wanted to be friends,” you type, trying to sound casual.

After a pause, he replies, "Oh, okay, I’m sorry hahaha. I just wasn’t sure because… I’m not really looking to like anyone right now."

Relief washes over you. You’re grateful you didn’t confess outright—dodging that bullet just saved you from heartbreak. The tension fades, and you decide to keep the conversation going with some small talk, asking him how he’s finding things at your school since he’s new.

He replies with a few polite answers, mentioning how everything is still unfamiliar, but he’s trying to get used to it. He seems a little shy, but you’re both warming up to the conversation, and it’s nice to chat without feeling nervous.

Finally, you end with, “Well, I hope everything goes well for you here!”

He likes your message, and it feels like the perfect note to end on. You close the chat, feeling both relieved and excited—no awkward confessions, no heartbreak, just a friendly connection. It’s enough for now.

It’s been a while since you last messaged Sunghoon. You’ve seen him around here and there, but lately, he’s been a little less present in your day-to-day life, and you can’t help but feel that familiar flutter every time your paths cross. You’ve been thinking about him a lot lately, and the anxiety has been building up. You couldn’t take it anymore. 

It’s 11 PM, and you’re lying in bed, staring at your phone, when you finally decide to send him a message:

“Hey, I have a question. Why did you follow me if you had a feeling I was the letter girl?”

You’re nervous, fingers hovering over the send button. You’re hoping for an answer, but you also don’t know if you’re ready for whatever might come next. You wait, your heart racing.

A few moments pass before he replies:

“Well, I saw you were following my friend Jake, and I guess I figured you might be the one who gave me the letter. I wasn’t sure, but I thought maybe it was worth a shot.”

You freeze for a second, remembering that yes, you did follow Jake after you found his account, thinking it might give you a better chance to get noticed by Sunghoon. You hadn’t mentioned that to him, but now it all makes sense. But before you can reply, your phone buzzes again.

“I’m sorry, but I think we should go back to being strangers again. It’s not your fault. I just, I’m really shy, and I’ve had people do this to me before back in my old country, and I just can’t handle it. You’ll find people who are better for you than I am, ive met alot of people at our school and I know there's better people. I hope we can unfollow each other and act like none of this happened.”

The message hits you like a punch in the gut. Your heart sinks, and you feel the sting of rejection, though he’s not exactly saying no. It’s more like he’s pushing you away for his own reasons—his own fears and insecurities.

Your mind races, unsure of how to respond, before you even go to unfollow as he said, he had already removed you. Part of you wants to reassure him, to tell him that it’s okay, that you understand. But another part of you feels hurt, confused, and unsure what to say next.

You hesitate, staring at his message for a while, before you try to gather your thoughts. But all you can think is that he’s shutting himself off, just like you feared. The shy, reserved guy who never really let anyone in—he’s doing it again. And you’re left wondering if it’s really about you… or if it’s about him. You sent him a few paragraphs back, making sure he understands that you're not upset (when you clearly were) and that you understand, you wished him a good year and that you hope he isn't mad at you for trying to become friends. You couldn't sleep that night, you weren't upset at what he did but rather at yourself, embarrassed how hard you were trying and how stupid you looked following and stalking him everywhere.

The next day, you’re in complete shock. You woke up still feeling the sting of his messages, the rejection lingering in your chest. It feels like a weight that won’t lift, and the emotions hit you all at once. Embarrassment, confusion, sadness, and even a sense of guilt for not understanding him better—it’s a whirlwind inside you. You can’t stop thinking about him and what he said. You wanted things to go differently. You never meant to make him feel uncomfortable. 

By lunch, you're sitting with Rei, and she can see it on your face. She gives you a concerned look as you sit down, trying to keep it together.

“What happened?” she asks gently, sensing something’s off.

Without thinking, you just let it out, the floodgates opening. “I messaged him last night. I asked why he followed me when he already knew I was the letter girl, and... he just kind of shut me down. He said we should be strangers again and that he’s too shy and I’ll find better people than him. He made it sound like it was my fault, like I was doing something wrong.”

Rei’s eyes widen, and she immediately reaches over, pulling you into a hug. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. That’s a lot to take in.”

You break down, tears filling your eyes as you cry into her shoulder. “I just… I don’t want to make him feel bad. I didn’t mean to push him. He’s so shy, and I don’t know how to help him without making him feel even worse.”

Rei rubs your back soothingly. “Hey, listen, it’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were just being honest, and sometimes people are just too caught up in their own stuff to see things clearly. You didn’t know he felt that way. It’s not about you.”

You nod, but the guilt still eats at you. You can’t help but feel like maybe you pushed too hard or misread the situation, and now everything feels so awkward. You don’t want to make things worse for him, but you also don’t know how to fix it. He’s clearly struggling with his own fears and shyness, and that makes you feel bad for him, even if it hurts you too.

“I feel so embarrassed, Rei. I just… I thought I could talk to him. I thought maybe we could be friends, but now it’s like he’s pushing me away. I just wanted to know him better…” You sniffle, wiping your tears as if you were crying over someone you were in an actual relationship.

Rei looks at you with a reassuring smile, though it’s clear she feels for you too. “I get it. But you know what? You were brave enough to put yourself out there, and that’s something to be proud of. He’s just got his own stuff going on. It might take time, but if he sees that you’re not going anywhere, maybe he’ll come around. But for now, don’t blame yourself. You did nothing wrong.”

You take a deep breath, nodding through your tears. “I guess... I just feel so bad for him. He’s probably struggling with so much, and I didn’t even know.”

Rei squeezes your hand. “Yeah, but he’s lucky to have someone like you who cares. You just have to give him time. Don’t give up on yourself or on him yet.”

You wipe away the last of your tears, feeling a little better after talking it out. *“Thanks, Rei. I needed that.”*

She grins and pats your back. “Always. And remember, you’ve got this. Whatever happens, don’t let this bring you down.”

You manage a small smile, knowing that it’s not the end. You don’t know what’s going to happen with Sunghoon, but for now, you’ll give him space and try not to overthink it. At least for today, you’re not alone in this.

The excitement you once felt is slowly turning into confusion. You had imagined that things would continue like a scene from a movie—something sweet, maybe a little awkward, but ultimately fun. But the way everything’s been unfolding lately doesn’t match the fantasy you’d built in your head.

You’ve realized that you haven’t seen Sunghoon like you used to. It started with small signs at first. He’d arrive late to the bus station, and you'd notice that the usual place you’d see him was empty. Then it got worse—he stopped coming altogether. You couldn’t help but notice his absence, a dull ache that replaced the excitement you once had when your paths crossed.

Things only got stranger from there. You’d see him around school, but it was like he was avoiding you. You’d catch glimpses of him, but he’d always take a longer route to class or find ways to avoid being near you. It was like he was deliberately keeping his distance. 

And then one day, you saw him in the hall. He was walking toward you, and your heart leapt. You waited for the familiar glance, a smile, or even the awkward moment of eye contact you’d grown used to. But when your eyes met, it wasn’t what you expected. The second he realized it was you, his gaze quickly dropped to his phone. He didn’t even acknowledge you. 

Confused, you looked back as he passed, and when you did, his head jerked up from his phone, as though he was trying to act like nothing had happened. The moment was awkward, uncomfortable, and it felt like everything you had hoped for was slipping away.

It’s hard to describe the feeling. Part of you wanted to scream, demand answers, but the other part of you felt embarrassed, unsure of how to act. Was he avoiding you? Did he regret ever following you back and having that conversation? You couldn’t understand why he was shutting you out so suddenly, especially because you both never spoke, only those small messages, he was doing too much. 

Your mind raced as you tried to piece it together. The more you thought about it, the more you realized that everything had shifted. He’d been polite, distant, and you could feel the walls going up between you two, even though you hadn’t done anything to push him away. All the movie moments—the ones that had once made you feel like something magical was happening—had turned into something awkward, cold, and uncertain.

You wanted to believe this was just a misunderstanding, but deep down, you couldn’t help but feel like you were losing him. And no matter how much you tried to convince yourself that maybe he just needed space, a small part of you couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.

The air is crisp with the Halloween season, and the school is buzzing with excitement as the annual Halloweenogrammes are being sold—a fundraiser where you can send a small bag of candy to someone with a little handwritten note. It feels like a sweet gesture, one that lets you send good vibes without too much fanfare. You can’t help but think of Sunghoon. He’s still on your mind, still lingering in the back of your thoughts, despite everything that’s happened.

You buy one for him, feeling a little hesitant but deciding it’s worth it. You want him to know that it’s okay to be himself, no matter how shy or reserved he might be. You’ve seen how he apologizes for being quiet, how he pulls away because he’s not sure what to do with attention. So, you write the message:

"You should never apologize for being yourself."

You add the little note at the end: "From a stranger." You don’t want to make things awkward or give him any false hope, but you want him to know that someone cares, even if you're supposed to be strangers now.

You wait all week, anticipation building, as the day to distribute the Halloweenogrammes finally arrives. Your heart skips a beat when you hear his name called. You hold your breath, waiting for him to do something, anything. You imagine he’ll smile, or maybe at least acknowledge it. But he doesn’t. The bag of candy sits in his hands as he leaves school, and you get no message, no acknowledgement, not even a glance in your direction. The silence stings more than anything. You were hoping for something, a tiny moment, just to show that it wasn’t all for nothing.

As the days pass, you can’t help but feel the weight of everything. You start to wonder if you misread the situation completely. It feels like he's slipped even further away, and that distance between you is growing more impossible to bridge.

So, you decide to send him one last message. You need closure, or at least an explanation, so you text him:

"Hey, I’ve been noticing you’ve been hiding more, and I feel like I’m making you uncomfortable. The bus situation and the way you’ve been avoiding me, I can’t help but feel like I’m the problem. I just wanted to let you know that I won’t bother you anymore, I won’t go near you again."

Your heart races as you send it, hoping that this will give you some answers, or at least some peace of mind.

A few minutes pass, and then your phone buzzes. His message comes through, and you hold your breath as you open it:

"It's not like I'm taking another bus because it's faster and closer :)"

You blink, rereading his message, confused and unsure what to make of it. He doesn’t mention anything about what you said. No apology, no explanation, just a comment about the bus. And then he adds:

"Don’t think about it too much."

Your mind is spinning. Why now? Why had he suddenly started taking a different bus when it wasn’t necessary? Why hadn’t he just done that before, when things were simpler? Why, when everything between you two was happening, did he choose this route? 

You know the answer, but it doesn’t make sense. He never gave you a reason to stop. It’s not like he suddenly found a quicker way home—he could have taken the same bus before. You knew the stop he would get off at, it was a popular stop which had its location written on other buses. So why, now, when everything with you was starting to build up, did he suddenly choose to go a different way?

It doesn’t make sense. And yet, in some painful way, it feels like the final piece to the puzzle. Everything between you and him—the shy smiles, the awkward moments, the fleeting hope that something could happen—had finally come to an end. He was telling you, in his own quiet way, that he couldn’t handle this anymore, that he couldn’t keep up the connection, not even on a simple bus ride.

His message, though polite, felt like the closing of a door. It wasn’t harsh or cruel, but it wasn’t warm either. It was just… a goodbye without the words.

You close your phone, feeling the weight of everything settle in your chest. It’s over now, and you’re left with the quiet, final reality of it all. The movie moments you imagined for so long were never going to happen. And the silence, the distance, the unanswered questions—they’ll be the things you carry with you from here on out.

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[disneyprincemuke]

what if i told you that i've fallen? * ls2

[part one out of eight]

and what do you do when you fall in love with the person you swear is your best friend in the entire world?

pairings: logan sargeant x fem!driver

notes: u don't have to be acquainted with the original series to read and enjoy this i promise there's context here like i swear i swear i-

this is also A STANDALONE FIC OK THIS Is juST THEIR MEGA TIMELINE FIC WHERE whaT IF i entertained the idea of them ending up together xoxo <3

wc: 6.2k

(series masterlist) | (through the years)

2020

girls and guys can always be just friends for the rest of their lives. realistically, it isn’t that difficult to prove it: her friendship with oscar has always been the one remaining evidence that it is possible. and for years, her friendship with logan also told everyone that the phenomenon of ‘opposite gender friendships are impossible’ is simply a lie.

that was when she stepped out of her university campus one evening: a breeze blew her hair back, stray leaves swirling on the ground as logan leaned against the hood of his car. she felt her heart drop to her stomach when he looked up from his phone to smile at her.

suddenly her best friend didn’t seem like much of a best friend anymore. suddenly, she got giddy at the thought of sitting in the passenger side of his car; blushing when he put a hand on the back of the headrest as he reversed the car out of their parking spot. all of the things that he does have got a deeper meaning to them — is he doing that mindlessly or is she crazy to think that he could possibly feel the same?

truthfully, she has no idea where the feelings came from. up to now, she’d only ever seen logan as a best friend with whom she had several things in common. not to forget 1 of the 2 people who drove her around in their fancy cars whenever she needed them to. and not only that, one of the kids her parents let stay with them in their house during times they had to spend apart from their families back home.

“hey, feeling alright?” oscar elbows her gently.

the girl perks up slightly, turning to him with a wide smile as she blinks rapidly. “yeah, why do you ask?” she follows his gaze down to the untouched cup of mojito sitting on the table. she meets his eyes again with a sheepish laugh. “i just don’t really feel like drinking tonight.”

the sheer thought of having feelings deeper than the surface level for logan was enough to make her stomach churn.

oscar raises his eyebrow, glancing at the mojito again. “i don’t believe that.”

“i swear!” she shrieks, eyes widening as she waves oscar’s concerns away. “i’m just not feeling the club at all, actually.”

“really? but you’re usually in your element when we go clubbing,” oscar frowns, taking the mojito into his hands and starting to drink it immediately. it’s odd that she’s not out on the dance floor, creating a small dance party with random goers. “is something wrong? you can talk to me.”

she looks over her shoulder as the sight of her best friend on the dance floor with another girl greets her once more. it’s only complicated because she got him that girl the minute they stepped into the club. it’s what logan always teases her about being able to score him dates and girls even better than he could all by himself. she has this way of talking him up where girls immediately fall for him. it’s a power, even.

he praises her for that all the time.

as much as she’s convinced that this crush would never develop into something more than it is, it worries her. this one is different. she knows by heart because she’s never been kept up all night by anything before — not even her toughest days in school had gotten her this stressed.

racing, maybe, but nothing else.

and she knows she can’t talk to oscar about this. so she takes a deep breath and shakes her head again. “it’s nothing. i think i’ll just order some bar food.” she scooches out of their booth. “do you want any?”

“i’m alright, mate,” oscar grins. he waves goodbye to her, watching her disappear into the crowd. he turns to lily. “did you notice that? she was acting weird, wasn’t she? it’s not just me?”

lily nods, taking a sip from the mojito that the young girl left behind. “it is. we should try and figure that out soon before it gets bad.”

logan couldn’t tell you when he started seeing his best friend as more than just a friend. it came randomly.

the last time he remembered feeling normal about her was the night they all slept in his room the night before her first race in formula 3. someone was shivering and it sure as hell was not the guy sleeping next to him on the other bed with a blanket strewn over his shoulders tightly. when he sat up, he snorted when he saw the younger girl curled up into a ball as her teeth softly chattered.

he sighed as he got up to his feet, picking up the blankets that she’d conveniently kicked down to the ground sometime during her slumber. he would never have noticed if he hadn’t stepped on it, her stuffed animal lying on the ground, abandoned and betrayed by her after she discarded everything on the bed with her initially.

he remembers that he laughed as he lifted her arm, placing the stuffed animal under her arms. and he thought that she looked so adorable nuzzling her cheek into the plushie, falling into an even deeper sleep.

what got him was when he laid the blanket over her. she pulled the blankets around herself a little tighter, smiling in satisfaction as she felt her body start to warm up. “thanks,” she whispered before abruptly snoring again.

he felt his heart go heavy at the sight, thumping against his chest as she sighed heavily. suddenly his head starts to spin and he feels something he’s never really felt for anyone before.

and, oh, god. he needs to sit down.

he sat at the edge of her bed, scratching his head as both of his friends slept. he looked over at her and felt something tugging at his heart and he knew instantly that it was over for him and the way he looked at her.

he thought it was just a fleeting crush and something that would eventually go away. but it’s been 2 weeks and he still hasn’t been able to push away the nagging feeling in his chest. everything just leads back to the girl with the seemingly brightest smile and most hypnotising eyes.

it wasn’t long until he felt like he could burst from the way he felt. which is why he’s now sitting opposite oscar, at brunch, while they wait for her and lily to arrive from stopping by at a bakery not too far away. he’s bearing holes into oscar’s head, waiting to catch his attention, but the australian seems to be too caught up with what’s on his phone than his friend quietly breaking down across the table.

“oscar,” logan finally says, hand darting out to try and catch his attention. “mate, i need to tell you something. it’s important.”

“oh, you never really have anything serious to say.” oscar puts his phone down on the table, pressing his lips together. he folds his arms and leans on the table. “did you do something bad again? you have to tell her dad this time, i can’t keep doing that for you, mate.”

“no, no,” logan sighs, shaking his head. “i’m serious. this is serious. like, you can’t tell lily at all.”

“wha–“

“i know you tell lily everything, no shame in that. but you really cannot tell her this one.”

oscar furrows his eyebrows. “you’re kind of scaring me. how serious is this thing you’ve done?”

“insanely serious.” logan puts his palm on the table. “mate, i think i’m in love.”

out of all the girls that logan has ever been with, he’s never once said that he’s in love. or at least said it out loud. if oscar is hearing about it for the first time since they met years ago, logan must be pretty serious about this.

logan’s just never been the type to commit to anyone, more or less ever claiming that he is in love with any of the girls that he’s gone out on a date with.

oscar looks around, worried that the girls may have already arrived and overheard his friend. “you’ve never ever said that before. are you serious?” logan nods. “like for real, serious? you’re sure about this girl?”

“that’s the thing.” logan starts to play with the menu, opening and closing it as he tries to play off the severity of his feelings. “i don’t know. but it’s been bugging me for weeks now. i can’t get her out of my head.”

“it must be serious if this has been going on for weeks,” oscar scoffs with a small smile. “how long have you known her?”

logan contemplates telling oscar the truth. will oscar ever slip up and tell her about his feelings? and what will happen if it changes everything and he loses his best friends? literally, the people he knows are his ride-or-die.

“you have no idea the severity. it’s–“

“why are you hunched over whispering like a bunch of schoolgirls with gossip?” she snorts, patting logan on the shoulder as she slots herself in the empty spot next to him in the booth. “anything to tell me?”

logan shakes his head, moving in further to give her the spot. “nope, nothing.”

without anything said, oscar feels like logan’s already told him everything. typically, she’s always in the knows of anything feelings-related, or anything that has to do with a crush. and he knows logan doesn’t mind that lily knows. the arrows are only pointing at one possible person present in the room.

but it can’t be. they’re all best friends.

“ah, keeping secrets now, i see,” she hums, narrowing her eyes down into a suspicious stare.

“way to hold it against me, mate,” logan scoffs, picking up the menu from the table. he glances at oscar across the table who raises his eyebrows at him.

logan, already knowing that he’s caught on, just nods in devastation. in a way that oscar’s never seen him before and that in itself is concerning.

the feeling never stops gnawing at her when she lies awake at night in her bed. she tosses and turns for hours, biting her fingernails as she tugs on her hair in frustration.

her lock screen, a picture of the 3 of them at a track from just a couple of days ago, consumes her. she’s come to overanalyse everything: his hand placements in pictures, their text messages, the way he speaks to her, everything that he does seems to mean more than it used to. and it should not be this way at all.

he is her best friend, after all. and what would she know about crushes and love? she could have been a small percentage of the population that grew up without really having one. it’s not something she concerned herself about over the years.

of course, she allowed herself that one boyfriend when she was 16. but even now she knows that that was not love.

could this be love? surely not — not with her best friend.

not with the boy who moved into her house when she was 13 to live with them for some months of the year, then leaving to spend the holidays with his family in florida. it’s not fair that she is consumed whole by the thought of being his girl.

because when you grow up alongside people, you tend to know the worst side of them. especially when you live together.

but why is it that, as aware as she is of logan’s flaws and everything that made girls want to walk away, she still longs to have him all to herself?

she hears his voice mixed with oscar’s from the next room over. it seems that they are also kept up by something that doesn’t seem to concern her. should she join them for another sleepless night like she typically does?

but it seems to be almost crossing the line of the boundaries of late night conversations they seem to be having. she hums, dropping her phone next to her head as she rolls over to lie on her back.

she looks up at the ceiling and tries to map the past couple of years and how it’s led her here. her heart thumps in her chest as she thinks of the green eyes that have captivated her lately, breathing shakily as the urge to stare into it at this very moment grows.

but she doesn’t know that in the next room over, the older boy feels the same way about her. technically, all her tossing and turning, fears of losing him over feelings that are slowly festering in her gut, are all for nothing. because if she got up right now and just laid it all out for him, he would be okay with it. he’d welcome it with open arms.

not knowing if he feels the same is what scares her the most.

a knock on the door makes her jump, sitting up dishevelled as she turns her attention to the door. she should be asleep for her classes tomorrow — which she would have been if logan hadn’t taken up every inch of space in her mind — so if that’s a test from her parents, it’s over for her.

“it’s us.”

she scrambles out of bed, keeping her footsteps soft to avoid the notion of announcing that she’s out of bed. when she opens the door, it’s come to her surprise that they’re wearing jackets and pants. oscar holds up his car keys with a small grin. “we’re hungry.”

“i’ve got classes tomorrow,” she says in a whisper as she avoids logan’s stare that’s boring holes into her skull.

logan shrugs. “and you’re still awake,” he’s the first to walk towards the stairs and beckons his two friends to follow him, “come on, we were craving ice cream. thank god you’re awake.”

she looks down at herself, in her pyjamas and then glances over at her friends with furrowed eyebrows. “i’m not dressed to head out. could you give me like 5 minutes to change at least?”

“no time for that,” oscar frowns, “do you wanna get caught?”

“besides, i brought an extra jacket for you. your mum would flip if she sees one of your jackets was used, no?” logan stops at the top of the stairs, holding up one of his smaller jackets in the air to show it to her. “i reckon we should get a move before your parents hear you out of bed, dude.”

she takes a deep breath, her gaze softening at the jacket that’s held in the air. it’s not that cold out, so she would definitely do without a jacket. but the thought of being wrapped in a jacket that belonged to logan — with his smell and the whole shebang — almost brings her to her knees. and going to sleep with his cologne all over her? it’s enough to make a typically emotionless woman cry.

“mate, do you wanna come or not?” oscar whispers, still towering over her at her door.

she nods, slowly closing the door behind her as she tries to run silently to the stairs where logan is. “does it smell like you? cause that would be kind of gross.”

a lie: she literally wants it to smell like him. just so she can have a sliver of what it feels like to be his.

“nope. that’s clean.” logan smiles proudly, holding up the jacket with both hands, opening it wide for her to wear it. while normally it would be an issue if it smelled like logan (which is why he took a fresh jacket out of his closet), it’s all she wants right now — to go to bed smelling like him to replace the emptiness of sleeping by herself.

she slots an arm into the jacket, thanking him softly as she feels her cheeks heat up at the gesture. and this is what it’s like suddenly overthinking every interaction she has with logan. did he always used to do this or is everything amplified by the thought of her heart suddenly beating for him?

did his actions always have this romantic intonation in them and she was too stupid to notice, or has it always been this way?

she freezes as logan circles her, pulling the jacket down her shoulders before he zips it up for her. he tugs on it gently and pats her shoulder. “warm enough? i’ve got a thicker jacket if you need one.”

she shakes her head, eyes wide as she looks up at him. he doesn’t seem to notice; turning towards the stairs to make their way to the car. oscar walks past them and shakes the keys as softly as he can. “let’s go. i’m starving.”

she watches the 2 boys walk down the stairs, frozen in the ground at their interaction. she sucks in a deep breath as she tries to process everything: the way he was so close to her and how his gesture was so familiar yet so unfamiliar at the same time.

“mate, let’s go,” oscar scolds, beckoning her from the bottom of the stairs. “i’ll leave you behind if you’re not down here in the next 15 seconds.”

“okay, be patient!” she squeaks, jumping from her spot to rush towards oscar.

by the door, logan keeps a tight grip on the front door as he can barely glance at her happily jumping down the steps. the sight fills his chest with such warmth that he’s never felt before and even forces a small smile on his face that he doesn’t notice.

the gesture with the jacket took everything of his soul to do. it would be crazy for her not to notice the way his hands shook as he zipped the jacket up for her, his breaths shaking as he stood inches away from her. it’s odd because they’ve spent so many years together yet there is this sudden shyness that he cannot seem to escape.

surely she’s starting to catch on as well, right?

he doesn’t even notice that she’s passed him, muttering ‘shotgun’ as she jogs over to the front seat of the car happily. oscar pats him on the shoulder and shoots him a mean glare to snap him out of his trance.

“if you’re going to be this obvious, i’d be more shocked that she hasn’t caught on yet,” oscar mutters with caution before walking out.

logan drags his feet out of the house, slumping his shoulders when he realises that he has to sit at the back. he just shrugs before oscar opens the door to the driver’s seat. “you and i both, dude.”

“see you later, mate.” logan barely lands a pat on her shoulder before walking away, approaching frederik at the other end of the garage.

she looks at the shoulder that he didn’t even touch before her eyes follow the boy now jogging towards his friend. is she going insane or is logan avoiding her?

since they’d gone and grabbed food together 3 weeks ago, it’s been different. logan’s been speaking to her less, keeping conversations short and he barely even looks her in the eye. she can’t say there’s ever been a time that this has ever happened for this long.

she excused it for logan being busy initially, but 3 weeks is too long.

“hey, are you alright?” mick comes up behind her with a small smile and a hand on her back. “you’ve just been standing there for a good minute by yourself.”

“i’m… do you think i’m annoying?” she whispers, eyes wide as her brain goes at a rate it’s never gone before. she starts walking with mick and looks down, bracing herself for his answer.

“what? why would you say that?” he says softly, tilting his head. “did something happen? another reporter get on your nerves?”

she sighs, shaking her head. she looks over her shoulder again where logan walked off before and sighs again as she meets mick’s eyes momentarily. “no… i don’t know… i feel like oscar and logan are avoiding me.”

mick hums, looking around with eyebrows furrowed. surely she is just overthinking it, right? for as long as he’s known any of them, they’ve been inseparable. he can’t think of a time where either logan or oscar went without mentioning her once in a conversation.

it’s like their worlds revolved around her.

“i don’t know, mate,” mick slings an arm over her shoulder as they talk, “maybe just give it some time? it’s a busy weekend and you know they’re your best friends.”

she shrugs. “i guess you’re right. maybe they’re just busy.”

but she can’t just shake away the feeling of something not being right.

“i’m gonna tell her.”

“are you stupid?”

“what? no.”

“then don’t tell her.”

logan puts his hands on his hips, chewing on the inside of his cheek. he stares at oscar with a bewildered expression. “why not?”

oscar mirrors his expression. how stupid can logan be right now? “if she doesn’t reciprocate, then what are you going to do? we literally live with her. tell me what you’re going to do when you tell her you’re in love with her and she doesn’t feel the same way.”

the american throws his hands into the air. “i’m not in love with her!”

“it doesn’t feel that way lately!”

“i have a small crush on her. doesn’t mean that i’m in love with her, okay? and in my head, if i tell her and she doesn’t feel the same way, then it’ll make it easier to move on.”

“babe, i– crush on who?” lily tilts her head, walking into the room with a curious stare. “logan has a crush on somebody? i swear i had this same conversation speculating just 5 minutes ago.”

oscar turns around wide-eyed at his girlfriend. “nobody.”

logan sighs. “oh, lily’s not stupid. you know who i have a crush on.”

the brit blinks blankly at the 2 boys in the room. “no, i don’t.” she tilts her head as she threads the room cautiously. “am i supposed to kn– no way.”

logan nods. “yes way.”

“and you knew this whole time and you’ve been lying to me?” lily shrieks, smacking oscar’s shoulder. “why didn’t you just tell me?”

“so you could tell her and mess up our dynamic? no way!” oscar scoffs, scratching his head in frustration. “listen, i actually like living in her big house with her family. and i actually also like being best friends with her — she’s nice to me.”

“she’s nice to me too,” logan points out.

“that’s different — you’re actually in love with her.”

“i’m not in love with her!”

“you guys have got to start talking to her again,” lily mutters as she climbs into the backseat of oscar’s car. she inches forward and glances out at the window where the younger girl slowly walks over to them. “you’re killing her.”

logan turns around, shaking his leg as he keeps his hands on the steering wheel. “you’re asking too much of me!”

“i do talk to her!” oscar defends himself, throwing his hands into the air. “but i can’t keep a straight conversation with her without wanting to tell her that our best friend is in love with her!”

the urge to tell her gets worse every single time. she’s just blabbing on all the time oblivious to the fact that their best friend spends countless hours talking about how majestic she is.

“i’m not in love with her!” logan scolds, reaching out to smack oscar on the shoulder. he looks at lily and presses his lips together. “and i try to talk to her, okay? but it’s hard.”

and he really does, but she’s got this need for eye contact when she talks to people; it makes it all the harder not to start rambling about how she’s got him wrapped around her fingers currently. it’s just so unfair how she doesn’t know the effect that she’s got on him.

he can barely keep a conversation with her, his defences crumbling when their eyes meet, stuttering and losing his words. and for a guy like logan, feeling like this for someone is beyond his comprehension. it’s just not something he thinks he can get used to.

“well, you’ve got to keep it together! she’s been really upset lately!” lily mutters, smacking both of their shoulders.

logan sighs. “surely, it’s not that–”

the back door opens and the girl slides into her seat with a polite smile. “hi,” she greets them with a small nod. she doesn’t wait for a response before she puts her airpods in and starts to type away on her phone.

“i told you,” lily mouths to the two boys in the front seats, rolling her eyes as she sits back with her arms folded over her chest.

her jaw drops slightly, eyes watering at the conversation she was definitely not meant to overhear. she steps away from the doorframe she hid behind and slumps her shoulders. "you what?"

the two boys, engaged in a whispering conversation just seconds ago, widen their eyes as they turn their heads to the source of the shocked voice.

she had fallen asleep on her couch as they played video games on the playstation, and they had to have a private conversation about logan’s lingering stares and silent pining.

immediately, logan starts stuttering and flailing his hands around to come up with an excuse for what she could have possibly heard. "i- i mean.. like-"

"the girl you fancy is me?" she asks slowly, then turning to oscar. "and you kept this a secret from me the entire time?"

"no, just let me explain, god," logan smacks his forehead, trying to calm the girl down. "will you listen to me for a second?"

oscar presses his lips together and drops his head in disappointment. "i couldn't tell you. don't be like that."

"you guys made me feel like i was going crazy thinking you didn't wanna be friends with me anymore," she complains, stomping her foot into the ground. "i felt like i didn't even know you guys so well in the past month. i felt like you guys were pushing me away."

"what? no, please just listen to me. this is all my fault."

"i thought you guys didn't even wanna be friends with me anymore. all of that to find out that it's because you just suddenly realised i'm cute?" she bursts, giving logan a look. "seriously? you didn't notice that years ago when we first met?"

oscar lifts his head, his look of disappointment quickly replaced by confusion. logan also drops his hands, head tilting at her response.

he had a list formed of possible ways she could react if his secret ever came out. this was not one of them.

"pardon?"

"we've been friends for so long growing up. you think that i never had a crazy puppy crush on either of you?" she scowls at them, wiping the few tears that managed to escape her eyes. "get a grip, my dudes!"

"what?" logan screams. "you're telling me i've been in over my head for literally nothing because you've had a crush on me too?"

"had?"

"you've got a crush on him right now? and me before?" oscar exclaims in disbelief, pointing at logan. "and we never knew? seriously?"

she shrugs, folding her arms over her chest with a smug smile. "i'm just better at keeping secrets compared to you guys, i guess."

she turns on her heel and walks out of the kitchen. “you’ll get over it. trust me. i’m actually in the process of getting over my crush on you, lo.”

but she’s never been more wrong about anything in her life.

logan leans on his car, elbow propped on the roof of his car and chin in his palm. he taps away on his phone as he lazily enjoys the breeze of oxford while he waits.

“i thought you were going to be late?” she hums, tilting her head as she approaches him. she’s got his jacket around her shoulders and an eye squinted from the sun shining brightly above them. “i took all the time i could walking out of campus.”

he shrugs, pushing himself off the car and slips his phone into his pocket. “traffic cleared up a while back. where’s lily?”

she shrugs back at him with a soft giggle. she jogs over to him and wraps her arms around him momentarily before quickly pulling away. “thanks for picking me up, by the way.”

logan throws his head back with a snort, folding his arms over his chest. “did i have a choice?”

he knew better than to decline her wide eyes asking him to please pick him up from campus after an entire day of classes. that, and that fact that it’s just so difficult to say no to her when it came to things like this.

“very funny,” she laughs with a playful eye roll as she rounds the car to the other side. “lily has something on with another module. let’s head out to dinner, you and i?”

he grins and unlocks his car. “yep. let’s go.”

"what's wrong?" worry paints her face as he starts acting calmer than before. her eyes follow logan's hands, lifted up to her face as he tries to brush back her stray hair behind her ears. "are you alright?"

"have i ever told you," he pauses to trace a line down her cheek with his fingertips, "how pretty you are?"

"only when you're drunk," she whispers back with a playful smile. "did you ingest some kind of poison and you've only got a couple minutes to live? is that why you're like this?"

"no," he shakes his head. a small smile appears on his face, tucking a finger under his chin to lift her eyes up to meet his. "i just think you look very pretty. i don't tell you that often."

she admits she almost felt her knees buckle at his words and melt on the ground at his words. logan had never been a very outwardly affectionate type unless he's drunk, so while this is expected behaviour out of him, it's never gotten quite as intimate as this.

she's had him fall asleep with his head in her lap before on the couch, but never has he been this close to her while whispering sweet words at her.

"it would be weird."

"it shouldn't be."

"logan, are you alright?"

he doesn't respond. and she freezes in her spot when his hand drags along her skin, cupping her cheek as he leans down into her. and he would have done it. he would have kissed her but something stops him.

it could’ve been the sheer reminder that they’re supposed to be just best friends. just that, nothing more and nothing less.

he stops himself right as their noses touch and sighs shakily, holding himself up with a hand on her arm. “i’m sorry.”

she lets out a soft sigh and forces a grin on her face. she grabs his shoulders to stabilise him, “do you need to throw up?”

“i think so,” he mutters with a hand on his chest. he turns to look at her with a heaving chest and puffy lips. “can you help me back to the villa please?”

she chuckles, approaching him with her arms held out. “okay, let’s get you back, mate.”

she stands in front of the bedroom door, stuffed bear in hand with a soft huff as she awaits a response.

the door opens, revealing logan in his pyjamas and dishevelled hair. he blinks for a few moments before realising who’s standing at the door. “oh, hi.”

“i couldn’t sleep,” she sighs softly, pursing her lips and slouching slightly. “can i sleep in oscar’s bed?”

logan blinks. he tries to think of what oscar would say if he consulted the australian about what to say in response to her question.

his heart has a simple answer: yes, let her spend the night in your bedroom. but his mind, clearly going with logic, knows exactly the solution to avoid getting himself into deeper shit: maybe you shouldn’t let her because it will complicate things.

guess which answer logan chooses.

“yeah, of course.” logan takes a step back and beckons her into the room. “what’s wrong? nightmare? watched a horror movie all by yourself again and scared yourself?”

“yeah,” she grins sheepishly, climbing onto oscar’s bed.

lie. she couldn’t fall asleep at the thought of logan and her almost kissing a week ago on their trip to the bahamas. and since oscar’s not here to put a stop to their antics, she did the one thing she knows would put her to sleep, or at least to a calmer state of mind.

“oh, what did you watch?” logan giggles, closing the door behind him. “do you need me to turn the nightlight on again?”

she smiles, shaking her head. “just insidious. i got bored while i was doing my homework.”

“you should really start watching that with someone around,” logan sighs, walking over to his bed on the other side of the room. “you know how insidious gets you all jumpy and weird.”

“yeah, i barely made it to 20 minutes of the movie,” she laughs, sighing as she drops her back on the bed. she pulls the blankets up and tucks herself under them. “anyway, thanks for letting me sleep here tonight.”

��of course, dude.”

logan finds himself at her university campus once more, leaning up against the side of his car as he awaits the girl to meet up with him.

he hears heels clicking against the gravel of the university parking lot, making him raise his head in anticipation with a wide grin.

“aw, happy birthday, dude!” logan cheers, opening his arms to the girl approaching him. “how were your classes?”

she sighs heavily, rolling her eyes. “horrid.”

“you left before oscar and i could make you pancakes for breakfast,” logan frowns, squeezing her slightly as she stumbles into his body. “we’re going to take you out for pancakes instead.”

“wow, pancakes for dinner?” she giggles with a hand on her chest. “how lovely.”

“and ice cream,” logan beams with a grin. he gently reaches forward to take her laptop into his hands along with the bag on her shoulder. “because it’s your birthday–”

“where’s my gift?” she teases, hopping forward to rest her chin on his arm. she looks up at him with puffed cheeks and wide eyes. “you promised me a present this year.”

logan blinks blankly at her. he looks at the way she’s cosied up into his body and then back into her eyes. “it’s with oscar.”

she blinks, taking a step back as she realises how close she’s gotten to him. “so you got me a present? how sweet of you, logan.”

“you threatened me to get you a present,” logan scoffs with a roll of his eyes. he starts laughing along with her, shoving her things into the backseat of his car. “as i was saying, because it’s your birthday, i’m giving you 2 options: to drive my car, or to not.”

he flashes her his car keys, dangling them high enough in the air for her to not reach them.

“i’m getting spoiled this year with options,” she laughs, jumping into the air to snatch the key out of logan’s hands. “i wouldn’t turn down the chance to drive your car and send you into cardiac arrest.”

she walks around logan to run over to the driver’s side of the car. “don’t forget to wear your seatbelt.”

“i wouldn’t ever dare if you’re the one driving.”

gen taglist: @33-81 @darleneslane @namgification @localwhoore @happy-nico @nikfigueiredo

[sideprince]

I want to hear your thoughts about the HP movies! So here go a number of asks, you of course don’t have to answer all of them (or any), but consider this an invitation to share!!

Which movie choice do you think…

-was the most pointless (there’s just nothing to be gained from the change and yet they did it anyway)?

-had the most outsized or lasting impact on how a character is viewed by the fandom?

-was actually a positive change?

-annoys you personally the most?

Thank you for this very excellent ask!! I will absolutely be answering all these questions.

Which movie choice do you think…

-was the most pointless (there’s just nothing to be gained from the change and yet they did it anyway)?

There are so many but the most obvious answer is casting Lavender Brown as white. Not only was there nothing to gain, but there was a lot to lose and it was just needlessly racist. I'm also not a fan of how Jessie Cave played her, but it's unclear how much of that was her choice and how much of it was the direction. She didn't play it like a 16 year old with a crush, but like she was a fangirl. Ron was just another kid in her class, it made no sense. When you have a crush at that age you might put the person on a pedestal, even idealize them without knowing them well, but the way she fawned over him was almost vaudevillian in how over the top it was. Her performance made the whole thing feel like a caricature, not an immature high school relationship. Knowing that she was given the role over a black actress only to give this performance feels like it was definitely a pointless change, but then, so many other choices in the films were too...

It also made that relationship and its effect on Ron too simplistic. It was part of his character to be awkward and inexperienced, and the main reason he went into that relationship was because these factors made him feel insecure and because it fed his ego. That's an important aspect of a character who's the youngest son in a family with 5 older brothers most of whom were high achievers, and whose best friend is famous. But then Ron's whole character arc of being fed up with being overlooked when Harry's name comes out of the goblet in GoF is shoved aside in that film as well, so why would HBP suddenly treat him as three dimensional? There was a lot of character development that Ron went through in HBP, in large part due to his relationship with Lavender, which was left out of the film completely as a result of how simplistically and cartoonishly Lavender herself was portrayed. It's one of many examples of ways in which the films didn't try to tell a story, but instead seemed like frantic efforts to check plot points off a list in order to get to the end.

Which movie choice do you think…

-had the most outsized or lasting impact on how a character is viewed by the fandom?

Hagrid. He's a complex and problematic character who doesn't seem to have formed friendships with students other than Harry, Ron, and Hermione. And if it weren't for his friendship with Harry, then Ron and Hermione wouldn't have spent time with him either, let alone formed a relationship (which Hermione did, at least, as we see in PoA). We see throughout the books that the other students are, at best, ambivalent about him, and at worst don't like his teaching style or his choice of creatures. We see this especially when Professor Grubbly-Plank subs for Hagrid and several students are vocally enthused about her, to the point of saying they hope she replaces Hagrid permanently after just one lesson.

Harry's connection with Hagrid is profound, because Hagrid was not only the one who welcomed him into the magical world and hand-delivered his Hogwarts letter, but also knew his parents and is a connection to them. Harry loves him not because he's big and cuddly and dumb, but because as a child looking for any kind of parental figures to latch onto, Hagrid was the first person he met who actively wanted to take care of him, did so when he took him to Diagon Alley, and continued to do so in welcoming him in his cabin and having him for tea regularly. Hagrid gives him advice at times, and is fiercely loyal. He also endangers Harry on several occasions and asks inappropriate favors of him, and these things altogether are what make Hagrid so complex. He plays a significant role in Harry's life, but not really in any of the other students'.

If you take the films on the whole, then by the end of the second film Hagrid is set up as this jolly giant beloved by the whole school (mostly because Steve Kloves/Chris Columbus didn't know how to end the film so they just focused on Hagrid's return from Azkaban - I can't even talk about Hagrid getting sent to prison with no proof or trial and that going completely unaddressed 👀JKR). Throughout the rest of the films we see Hagrid as someone who the trio have a relationship with only when it's relevant to the plot. They don't go to his for tea just to be social, and that's something that could have been fit in in ways that simultaneously offered plot development. I think it's a consistent problem in the films that moving the plot forward is prioritized without attention to developing relationships or understanding how that feeds into character and story development. In a franchise based on a book series that people latched onto because of their love for the characters, it's startling to see how little attention was paid to the thing that spoke to readers most.

Most of Hagrid's creatures like the skrewts or even nifflers are left out, as are many other elements that serve to color the wizarding world and make it feel more tangible. The only "monstrous" creature we see Hagrid teaching in the films is Buckbeak who is alone and not part of a flock and is left out of subsequent films. Care of Magical Creatures is left out of OOtP completely and it isn't even in class that Harry learns what thestrals are, but then Professor Grubbly-Plank isn't in the films at all. All the scenes where Hagrid is drunk around the kids are left out, as well as most of the ways he endangers them in various ways. If it weren't for Umbridge's bit in the forest, Grawp would have been left out of OOtP altogether (and tbh since she was carried off by centaurs anyway, he could have been).

Tl;dr the films exaggerated Hagrid into a big, cuddly, silly giant of a man who showed up when it was convenient for the narrative and didn't present any of the problems or challenges he did in the books.

(Runner up answer to this question is Hermione, who's portrayed as a two dimensional matriarchal harpy with consistent characteristics - like calling Ron "Ronald" which is... pointless and overly formal - that make her out to be an uptight school marm. Her personality is chopped at the knees and her main role is to be the voice of exposition, not a character unto herself with her own growth and development. Third place is the Dursleys who were an excellent bit of social commentary and contrast to Harry's world as well as a relevant example of abuse that informed Harry's character and emphasized parallels between him and Voldemort as well as him and Snape, but I'm trying to keep my answers to one thing. The general answer to this question is honestly just "omg everyone, everyone, every character was changed in pointless and terrible ways, help me understand why." The fact that Snape isn't even in the top three on this list tells you everything, because I could write a whole essay on that alone.)

Which movie choice do you think…

-was actually a positive change?

Leaving out Nearly Headless Nick and his Deathday Party in CoS. It added color to the book but not much else and it makes sense it was left out of the film. It would have added nothing to it. And that film was enough of a mess without it, let's be honest. I also don't mind that most of Rita Skeeter's bullshit was left out of GoF. I get that Rowling was making a comment on the press with her character, but I felt Skeeter was more of a result of Rowling having resentment after becoming famous by the time she sat down to write the book and GoF being the first one where her editor gave her free reign. It's uncomfortable the way this grown woman who's a successful journalist goes after literal children and has a petty feud with them. It's not even a reasonable parallel for how famous children are treated by the press because most of them either have a publicist or a parent who has one, they aren't expected to go up against journalists on their own. But then, Rowling's metaphors are often not fully thought through.

Which movie choice do you think…

-annoys you personally the most?

I'm lumping them as one choice but really it's the same choice made over and over and over again and I hate it so much it makes me want to throw hands:

"I know."

Character development is consistently choked by using this device of, "I know what you're thinking," "I know you're going to ask," and other variations of the same. Sometimes it's more subtle, like when Dumbledore takes Harry to meet Slughorn and Harry says, "I just apparated, didn't I?" but it's the same thing again and again. There's no reason Harry couldn't say, "what the?--" and Dumbledore couldn't answer, "I'm sorry, I forgot to ask if you had ever apparated before." Or, in a surprise plot twist, it could have been presented as it was in the book, with Dumbledore simply asking Harry if he'd done it before and Harry replying no and having a new experience. The change in the film offers nothing. It's boring. It deliberately prevents characters from being challenged and growing as a result. It's also often, but not always, Hermione who offers this kind of exposition, because that's her main purpose in the films and she needs a job, I guess? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I just don't see the point of it. It feels very much like soap opera writing. In terms of writing and meeting a studio production's expectations, you wouldn't gain page numbers or screen time if you had a character ask a question that another had to think about and answer. When Harry goes up to Katie Bell in HBP, there's no reason he can't ask her how she is and then what she remembers, instead of her saying "I know you're going to ask but I don't know." It would have used op the same amount of space on the page and the same length of time to film. (Actually, if HBP had spent less time having Slughorn narrate how and why he was taking acromantula venom and instead had him do so covertly as he did in the book, there would be enough screen time left to spread across adding a few lines of needed dialogue in several scenes. This is another frustrating thing about the films, and what I mean when I say they just try to check events off a list to get to the end: in the book, Slughorn's motivation to go to Hagrid's with Harry is to procure acromantula venom, which is rare and valuable. Once this motivation is taken away, as it is in the film, it's pointless to have him go through the motions of doing so, let alone doing it so overtly and with Hagrid's permission, which goes against the latter's character. It shows a profound lack of understanding of the story and its purpose that this moment received so much screen time when the point of that scene was for Harry to end up in a situation where he could get Slughorn into a vulnerable enough state to get the memory from him.)

The whole "I know" thing feels unnatural, forced, and pointless. It's clumsy and two-dimensional writing and if these films had to stand on their own and weren't based on a beloved book series, this kind of writing would have tanked them after the second one.

Thank you for this very fun ask! I have a lot of issues with the films, but I do enjoy them and still watch them often. I don't have high hopes for the HBO series (and I don't think it's necessary), but I do wish often that these films had been better done and by writers, producers, and directors more suited to the job.

[yinwaryuri]

Honestly, Pat's reaction is portrayed more realistically than I think most people understand. It's so real it's that hard to watch, it has a lot of people going, "well why is he being like this?"

Pat has been on his own for who knows how long. By a lot of social standards he's actually pretty isolated, and due to numerous experiences (his relationship with Put, his parents' divorce), has lived with a sense that he's unlovable for reasons he can't name. Yes, he has friends but they're all in very different stages of life and when you really think about it, he has no true best friend. Ae is close but she's older than him, and while a wonderful ally cannot provide the same companionship as a fellow queer. Jaab is more friend than coworker, but he's not Pat's go-to. Chot (bless his entire existence) was introduced only a few episodes in and while it's refreshing to see Pat have a confidant and queer sister, it hasn't solidified into the kind of friendship that takes years to nurture.

Solitude breeds loneliness and loneliness can cast dark shadows about your self worth in your head. I'm no one with authority to say what Pat has is depression, but I would say based on my own (very recent) experiences with it and a pretty serious breakdown caused by it, that he's definitely come close several times throughout this narrative.

But Pat is a pleaser. He cannot be frank when it counts often times. Whenever he is, it takes a great deal of courage and emotional energy (or lots of drinking) and then he's spent. The alternative is that he either breaks down on the spot or holds it in until he can fall apart in private. And he holds in A LOT. And he comes across as awkward or stiff or overly apologetic because he's using half his energy to suppress the massive weight that wants to burst through his entire being.

Jeng has learned this about him and has come to take it much more gracefully than he did in the beginning (hearing him ask why Pat couldn't control his emotions made me wanna smack him ngl). But Jeng has been using half of his own energy to keep his hands off Pat because he is aware of the consequences (increasingly less so, but he is aware). That, paired with him being closeted for the better part of Pat's career as his employee, creates a terrible cocktail of misreadings and misdirection for both of them.

So when Pat realizes that this man - whom he's been trying not to crush on, trying to please professionally (because he's been reprimanded and pressured by him), trying to deny clear signs from - this man is also gay? No, that isn't some happy thing. Because now he's wondering what it means.

Every word Jeng has ever said to him from the beginning to the present is repeating in his head. Every gesture, every invitation, every situation they've ever gotten into. The way Jeng made himself change because Pat's upset review stung so much, and how focused he's been on Pat since then is all suspect now. The unconsciously in love warm fuzzy butterflies in his stomach have lost their flight.

Pat's relationship with Put was very, very subtly manipulative. The whole thing with Sharkie (ugh. Sharkie.) and how he hid behind this memento of their past love like a shield demonstrated how he knew he hadn't truly changed. Now, Put is not an asshole or an abuser - he was not intentionally messing with Pat's feelings and he truly did care about him. He just continued to prioritize himself and his own feelings, and it did numbers on Pat because he would give in and give in until he was emotionally drained. That's what sucked the life out of their love the first time, and it's what reminded Pat of why they broke up the second time.

So with Jeng? Someone from a completely different part of society altogether? Also his boss? It doesn't matter how many pleasant experiences Pat has had with him - he suddenly is faced with someone who could very well be toying with him more purposefully. He's just a poor, lonely subordinate, whose emotional regulation skills are held together with tape and Elmer's glue, who can't properly cook so he eats out all the time, who has been looked down on by numerous people in high society including the man who has been taking him out all the time and just came out as gay. And Pat has buried his crush on him deep in a chest at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, which has now spat itself back up. The emotional toll is so much that the structure just... collapses. Pat physically collapses as a result. And then he emotionally shuts down.

And folks lemme tell you, that shut down is real hard to talk about, if you physically can. The numbness is indescribable because there are very few words for it. How do you explain a lack of sensation when all you're used to is everything going on inside you all the time? How do you regulate nothing? How do you explain that feeling + feeling just cancelled everything out?

He asks Jeng how he could like him because he doesn't like himself at that moment. It doesn't make sense to him because he is too aware of all his failings and shortcomings. He is also too aware of how different they are in both personality and class. And most of all he knows he's had feelings for Jeng but he's buried them deep under the many reasons there couldn't and shouldn't be anything between them. While it's heartbreaking to watch him reject Jeng, it's just as sad to hear him basically confess how little he thinks he's worth.

Pat has lost his senses so totally by then, he forgets his birthday, and his parents visiting him, and work, and all he can do is dwell on who was he? Who was he before he became a husk of bones and flesh? He focuses on memories, both good and bad, because he felt like a person then. He felt human. He FELT. And when he finally realizes how much he misses being himself and feeling and thinking he's worth anything, as well as how much he truly likes Jeng, he finally can voice what is eating him up inside and let it out.

Pat’s breakdown was super relatable

Jeng crying was the best and the worst and I love what the show did even if it hurt so much to see him break down like that. 

However as an unconscious emotional compartmentalizer myself, Pat’s breakdown was CRAZY relatable and I can’t think about anything else. 

He went from unconsciously in love 

To actively numb to his own emotions

To confused and disbelieving

To breaking the fuck down

and it HURT ME

When your emotions hit you like this, and the romantic one’s they’re such strong emotions, when they hit you unprocessed because you’ve been unconsciously completely ignoring them, because they’re about someone you CAN’T HAVE. 

Fuck

I need a minute 

[wonjns]

gentle rendezvous ✿

♡° pairing; hwang hyunjin x male reader

♡° genre; fluffy smut

♡° summary; you and your boyfriend have to constantly navigate his hectic schedule in order to meet. it may not be often, but when you do see him, you both manage to make eachother feel like the most important person in the world.

♡° includes; bottom!reader, idol!hyunjin, grinding, lots of kisses, finger sucking, hickeys, blowjob (receiving), unprotected sex ( dont irl !!! )

♡° WC; 3.1k

° AN; requested by anon ✓ [Can i request a hyunjin fluffy & smutty where the reader wants to see him but they always meet in private since their relationship is secret, if that’s okay with you, of course!] // hiii omg this one was such an easy write for me, i hope you enjoy it !!

hopping over gates, sneaking through doors, evading security guards.....

all efforts you and a certain lover of yours had to take in order to see one another.

you were a sneaky one; months and months of dating an idol proving to be perfect practice at mastering the art of disguise. it was a tricky craft at first, but thankfully for you, the oh-so-mighty hwang hyunjin of stray kids happened to be a top notch coach.

you and hyunjin had officially started dating just as his group began preparing for “Maniac” promotions, so the timing couldn’t have been more imperfect.

originally, the two of you shared nothing more than a youth-sparked fling; having met only once through a friend of a friend. there was an obvious mutual attraction, but the two of you lead such different lives that it was nearly impossible to properly act on it - that is until the 22 year old sassily confessed to you over what could have possibly been the most dramatic, gushy facetime call you’d ever experienced. 

hyunjin was the first guy to ever call you ‘the most beautiful boy he had ever seen’, for whom he would ‘cross an entire planet’s worth of oceans’ in order to simply visit. yuck.

but needless to say, despite the cringe worthy mush, your tiny crush on the irresistible main dancer instantly sparked into a wildfire of raw infatuation. suddenly, you craved to be around the taller male constantly. you caught yourself reminiscing daily on the way his slightly larger hands would hold yours, caress your body, pinch your cheeks while doting on you, or massage you while placing lingering kisses on your neck whenever you would talk about your day.

however, as cruel as reality was, you could never go public with your relationship. there were too many factors to worry about how the public would respond, and the last thing you wanted was to be the downfall of your favorite person’s career.

but despite not having the privilege of frequently experiencing the joys of hyunjin that would never fail to erupt your tummy with butterflies, you were determined to make the relationship work...

which led you to where you were now - ducking behind managers and speed walking down hallways.

according to hyunjin, it all functioned like clockwork. a week ahead of time, he gave you a total rundown of what usual recording days looked like during promotions. he did his best to provide as many details of what a day-in-the-life backstage insured so that you could slink right through.

after several video chat preps, you felt confident enough to go through with yet another invasion plan - the reward being the chance to physically see your boyfriend for the first time in months.

this definitely wasn’t your first rodeo; your all black clothing blending you right in effortlessly with the busy bees that ushered through the tight studio walls in order to prepare the next idol groups for filming. you followed the mental map you had crammed in your head a few nights prior, rounding a familiar looking corner. after coming face to face with a door that matched the exact description your boyfriend had given, you quickly tugged the handle and slid inside the room unnoticed.

you took a deep breath as you removed your black cap, trying to calm your still surging adrenaline before both your ears and eyes perked up at a voice that spoke from across the room. 

“you made it, babe.” 

a bright grin took over your whole face at the sight before you; a tall, blonde, handsome glass of water shooting you a killer smile. he looked at you with a sense of wonder, adjusting the microphone pack that hung at his hips.

“jinnie, oh my god.” you gasped as you sped towards him, practically pouncing on him.

hyunjin chuckled while enveloping his arms around you, taking in your nostalgic scent before leaning back and gazing into your eyes. his own alluring cologne hit you immediately, rendering you speechless while analyzing his face.

you sat in the joyful silence for a moment, running your fingers through his soft locks, absolutely sure that your eyes were sparkling with animated hearts by now. 

feeling his heart flutter at your love-filled ogle, hyunjin could only utter a hushed “that’s my boy,” before placing his plump, pink lips onto yours.

a low groan of satisfaction surged from hyunjins mouth at the feeling of your lips finally connecting to his after so long, causing you to offer one yourself at the sweetness of his taste. his hands snaked around your waist, pulling your bottom half flush against his. your slight gasp at the sudden friction gave hyunjin the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, his pink muscle finding its favorite dance partner in seconds.

his smooth tongue running along yours caused you to tighten your grip in his hair, urging him to press into your lips stronger. you rolled your hips into his ever so slightly, feeling the subtle tent that had already begun to grow between his long legs. 

the two of you separated only when you needed air, but were unable to tear your eyes away from one another. being the drama queen that he was, hyunjin exhaled a deep breath while wiping a drop of imaginary sweat from his forehead, making you giggle. 

“how much time do you have?” you asked quietly, loosely massaging your fingers into his hair. the blonde teasingly cocked an eyebrow at you.

“how much time do you need?” he smirked, giving you knowing eyes before you playfully smacked his shoulder.

you sighed, slowly dropping your arms from his frame, purposefully taking the chance to drag your palms over his defined biceps. a momentary wave of nervousness hit you as you adjusted his mic pack for him.

“this things not… on, is it?” 

“no, babe.” hyunjin answered, laughing cutely at your inquiry. 

he pecked your nose with a kiss before taking the mic off entirely. fumbling with the wires, he explained that stray kids’ recording wasn’t scheduled until another hour - putting you at peace. you looked around the abandoned dressing room curiously before strutting over to the couch, plopping down flat on the leather. 

“this super spy stuff is pretty stressful, you’re lucky i’m so good.” you commented, rubbing your eyes before shifting your attention to the door. “no one’s for sure going to know we’re in here, right?”

hyunjin sauntered over to the couch as well, a smile of adoration on his face as he squat down until he was level with your horizontal face. he graced a thumb over your cheek, reveling in the softness of your skin. 

“of course not, dude.” he replied, his lips once again like magnets to your face. “and yeah… you are pretty good after all. i’m sorry you have to do all of this all the time, though. i just miss you, and the company’s barely been giving us any time to breathe.”

you hummed, studying his face while he spoke. you heard the sincereness in his voice, but were mildly distracted. god, he was just so handsome - seeing him made the constant sleuthing worth it every single time. 

“i would do anything for you, hyung, you know that. there’s nowhere i’d rather be.” you softly responded, soaking in his touch. 

hyunjin was just about to respond before he suddenly froze in his tracks, stunned as you slipped one of his slender fingers from your cheek and into your mouth. his breath hitched when you added another, immediately humming around his cool digits while your innocent eyes beamed at him. 

the blonde’s own eyes rolled back at the feeling of your tongue sensually gliding along the base to the pads of his fingers. you sucked gently, completely satisfied with the effect you were having on him, despite his failing attempts to hide it. 

“y-y/n,” he whispered. 

another giggle escaped you watching him bite his bottom lip. this feeling of victory didn’t get to pool in your ego for long, though, as you witnessed a devious smirk play on his face.

upon hearing you, hyunjin had caught on to just how much you were enjoying yourself, and he wasn’t planning on feeding into it. he wasted no time in retracting his fingers and shuffling himself on to the couch; hovering right above you. hyunjin refused to break eye contact with you as he nudged your legs apart, his torso sliding effortlessly between your thighs. he fit perfectly as if that were his rightful position, the missing puzzle piece to your physique. 

“my baby gets a little compliment and starts feeling a bit confident, hm?” he cooed, your faces now inches apart.

it was your turn to blush, and a tinge of embarrassment bubbled within you after realizing how badly you wished his digits were still in your mouth - the emptiness making you crave him more. 

“i just think i deserve a little treat,,, i mean, i did work so hard to get here. besides security, those fangirls outside are a beast of their own.” you retorted. 

“is that so?” he chuckled quietly while stroking your thighs, eyeing your body beneath him up and down. “well then... who am i to tell my pretty boy no?” 

without missing a beat, hyunjin’s hands slid their way underneath your shirt, pulling it up just below your neck. goosebumps bloomed on your skin, both due to the chilled breeze and from watching the older male lick his lips at the sight of your exposed torso. he dipped his head down before trailing feathery kisses from your tummy to your chest. 

your head fell back, relaxing into the cushions as hyunjin’s plump lips littered ticklish smooches all around the expanse of your skin - a breathy moan escaping you when he suddenly caught one of your nipples between his teeth. 

“jinnie,” you gasped when he tugged on it gently, squirming under his hold after he soothed his actions over with his tongue. 

your whine clearly fell on deaf ears, hyunjin doing nothing more but plant a kiss on your adams apple before shimmying lower down your body. he sucked wantonly on the sides of your hips, running his hands up and down your physique. your fingers danced along his shoulder blades, humming blissfully.

hyunjin then started leaving pecks along the waistband of your jeans, making you look down at him expectantly. your breath stuttered when he offered you another devilish grin while undoing your buttons, dragging the zipper down. 

wordlessly, you lifted your hips allowing him to pool your jeans at your ankles before slipping them fully off. a quick shiver shot down your legs, the cool breeze overcoming you once more. the chill was quickly soothed as your boyfriend continued with his path of warm kisses up your thighs. 

when he came eye level with the bulge in your underwear, he shot a knowing look up at you. a spark of shyness caused you to close your legs around his torso, your effort to cover up proving futile. 

“don’t hide from me, babe, you look so good…. so good.” hyunjin reassured, eyeing your erection.

he leaned up on his knees momentarily to strip himself of his performance shirt, the emerald sleeveless top falling to the floor. your eyes lit up at his lean torso. the grooves of his muscles protruded much more than the last time you had seen him - he was even more beautiful than before. 

“n-not too bad yourself.” you stuttered out in a flirty attempt to disguise your flustered state. 

he smirked, gently taking your hands in his and guiding them down his abdomen. your fingers rippled over his abs, and you sucked your bottom lip between your teeth, holding back a moan from the smoothness of his skin. he noticed this, and flashed yet another of his relentlessly cheesy smiles while leaning back down. his plush lips hovered just inches above yours as his soft eyes bore into you. 

“love, why are you holding back?” hyunjin asked in an innocent tone, feigning as if he was unaware of the circumstances. 

you furrowed your eyebrows, casting a glance towards the dressing room door where you could see shadows of figures walking by. 

“well… we can’t really risk getting caught, can we?” 

“but you make the prettiest noises,” he pouted, sporting the strongest puppy eyes he could muster. “please let me hear you, its been so long.” 

butterflies erupt in your stomach, hyunjin once again succeeding in making you melt. you spared his sparkling orbs one more look before closing the distance, colliding your lips.

the hunger you’ve suppressed for your boyfriend suddenly came rushing back as you felt the vibrations of one of his moans resonate through your cavern.

the innocent kiss evolved in no time. his skillful tongue’s dance with yours lead to you kneading your fingers into hyunjin’s styled locks while he ground against your clothed member. within seconds you were finally freed from your shirt, leaving you in just your boxers while hyunjin took the liberty of removing his tight pants.

you supposed it was a good thing he thought ahead so that the two of you would have plenty of time together - being that if he were called to stage in this moment you would both would be rendered utterly fucked.

eventually, a flurry of pastel pinks and purples decorated your naked upper body, thanks to hyunjin’s persistent lips softly littering them wherever he saw fit. whenever he would take short breaks from sucking marks into you, his canvas, he would allow his tongue to indulge playing with your sensitive nipples just to hear you mewl.

it felt like hours had passed by, but you knew all too well how much hyunjin liked to take his time with you. your whimpers only urged him to continue, until eventually he felt his head spinning from how aroused you made him - the same thing applying to yourself. 

“h-hyung..” you whined, the sound making hyunjin pause his lip’s gentle assault on your skin.

it didn’t take long for him to notice the wet patch of precum on your boxers, thanks to your now throbbing erection. his hands began teasing the waistband of your underwear while he chuckled.

“may i?” he questioned cockily, already knowing the answer. 

amidst your hazy mind, you could only nod your head. it was good enough for him, as hyunjin audibly groaned after pulling your underwear down. the sight of your aching member was so clearly begging for his attention, and he was more than willing to oblige.

“geeze, love, i really got you worked up, huh?” he teased. you covered your face as a strong blush overtook it, but your boyfriend immediately nudged them away. “don’t be shy, you look so damn cute like this.”

he placed a slow kiss to your shaft, and you were sure he actually felt the pulsation of your needy length. he continued trailing gentle pecks up your base, causing another shiver to sprint up your spine. 

his pink lips finally wrapped around the head of your cock, humming around it while slowly bobbing his head up and down. you gasped feeling him slowly swirl his tongue around your length, balling your shaky hands into fists.

“relax, babe.” he spoke, releasing your member with a pop. 

hyunjin shifted upwards, still snuggly between your legs, to plant another soothing kiss to your lips. he gently pushed your trembling shoulders back into the couch cushions, urging you to loosen up.

“sorry,, its just been a while.” you admitted. 

“shh shh, i know.” he whispered, pecking your lips. “just let me make you feel good.” 

your nerves immediately eased up, the sweet tone of the blonde’s voice and loving gaze reminding you just how much you trusted him. your eyes closed with pleasure as he started stroking your member while simultaneously removing his underwear, his own member standing at attention. he playfully tapped his bare erection on your thigh, causing your breath to get caught in your throat.

“you see what do to me, baby boy? fuck… i want you so bad.” he tapped a couple of his fingers against your lips, waiting for you to accept them in. “let’s get you prepped, yeah?” 

you happily agreed, drawing his fingers in your mouth once again to coat them. you all but moaned feeling them glide back and forth over your tongue, sucking enthusiastically. you earned another ‘attaboy’ from hyunjin before he took those very fingers and prodded them against your bottom. 

you mewled, willing yourself to relax into the gentle strokes hyunjin continued to give your cock while he pushed his lubed fingers into your entrance. it was slow, and the pleasure contrasted the sting of the stretch, but it was the way hyunjin carefully studied your eyes for any sign of discomfort that had you in a swooning trance. when you finally felt ready, he replaced his fingers with the head of his cock, easing in at the same slow pace. 

you clung to his shoulders tightly, his lean muscles flexing under your touch while he did his best to continue steadily. his name fell from your mouth in quite moans, occasionally being swallowed by his plush lips. his free hand was planted beside your head, helping keep him hoisted above you while he picked up the pace of his hips. 

your legs wrapped around his slender waist when you began matching his movements, bucking your hips along with his rhythmic thrusts. his warm hand was relentless on your cock, and it only took one mere nibble on the weak spot of your neck for you to feel your climax coming.

“ahh, babe, i’m close.” you called out breathlessly. 

“you’re doing great, prince. hold on just a bit longer.” hyunin responded, his thrusts becoming even deeper. 

after a few more moments, one particularly strong roll of his hips was enough to seal the deal for the both of you. you shared a drawn out moan before both of your love liquids were released.

bliss gradually overcame you both as hyunjin’s dancer stamina helped you ride out your high. he released a triumphant sigh, his hand covered in white as he pulled out slowly.

“you did so well, y/n. i love you so much.”

“all in a day’s work, babe.” you giggled, restabilizing your breathing.

you leaned up, enveloping your arms around hyunjin. his embrace was the most comfort you’d felt in all these weeks, love oozing from his pores through a thin layer of sweat.

“now lets clean up,” you spoke, running a hand through your hair as you looked for your lost articles of clothing. “you can’t perform naked.” 

“oh, can’t i? you know you’d love it.” he quipped. 

you playfully shoved his bare chest, only causing him to full-on tackle you back onto the cushions. his chuckles landed in the grooves of your neck, where he placed a fury of more kisses. you reveled in the feeling, running your hands along his smooth back where the sweat beads dissipated.

“we’re never waiting this long again. never.”

© 𝐟𝐥𝐰𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐢 — all rights reserved

[cynosdaydream]

𝙄𝙣 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙀𝙮𝙚𝙨

ᴺᵒʷ ᴾˡᵃʸⁱⁿᵍ: ᵂⁱˡᵈᵉˢᵗ ᴰʳᵉᵃᵐˢ⁻⁻ᵀᵃʸˡᵒʳ ˢʷⁱᶠᵗ ↺ ᴿᴱᴾᴱᴬᵀ ‖ ᴾᴬᵁˢᴱ ≫ ᴺᴱˣᵀ ˢᴼᴺᴳ

ᵂᵒʳᵈ ᶜᵒᵘⁿᵗ: 0.6k

You’ve always liked Yae Miko. Meticulous, cunning Yae Miko. That was how other people saw her, at least. Owner of the Yae Publishing House, and closest acquaintance of the ruler of Inazuma.

But you were one of the few people who got to see the softer side of her. The side of her who would let you lie in her lap and softly read a light novel to you, smooth voice gently lulling you into a comfortable slumber. 

For years, you have been subtly pining over her, these romantic feelings locked deep inside your heart, guarded by thorns, in fear of the kitsune turning you down. Although some of her actions aren’t how you would treat someone who was just a friend, you didn't want to risk your many decades of friendship just for some personal feelings.  

“___! There you are!” You recognised the voice of the Crux Captain, Beidou. Alongside her was the Leader of Watatsumi island, Sangonomiya Kokomi. “To whom do I owe this pleasure?” You replied, usually not seeing the unusual pair side by side. “One of the restaurants in the city has a discount on alcohol after 7 in the evening today, and I thought it would be appropriate to invite the both of you.” Kokomi explained. Not wanting to miss an opportunity to hang out with your friends, you accepted the invitation without hesitation. 

As soon as you entered the restaurant, your eyes scanned the vicinity for your friends. And there they were, Beidou and Kokomi happily drinking away and ordering more drinks.  “___! Come have a seat!” You smiled, knowing either Beidou was going to challenge you to a drinking competition, which you usually turned down, or you had to carry Kokomi (a surprising lightweight) home. All three of you chatted for a while, until Beidou said, “Hey, ___, you know that there are a lot of people in Inazuma that fancy you, right?” This unexpected question made you flustered, not knowing how to respond to that question. “So has anyone caught your eye, perhaps?”

The image of the stunning shrine maiden immediately flashed in your mind, causing your face to turn so red you couldn’t blame it on the alcohol anymore. And being so tipsy, you answered without thinking. “You know Yae Miko, right? I’ve had a crush on her for a very long time…” Swirling your drink in your hand, you continued, “I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like me back though, but I don’t know how to act around her. She’s so gorgeous and affectionately a tease, she could crush me under her shoe and I’d thank her.” 

Unbeknownst to you, the exact person you were talking about walked right into the restaurant. You think Benett was unlucky? Well, look at you. “Miss Kokomi, there’s something I need to discuss with you about your upcoming light n-” “I’d kill someone just to feel her soft pink hair in my hands just one more time.” You whipped your head around, praying that this was just the drinks making your sense of reality distorted. But when your friends looked at you with wide eyes and you heard her speak again, you wanted to sink into the ground and die. Suddenly you were very interested in the melting cubes of ice in your glass, when Yae said, “Maybe we can discuss your light novel another time. I think I need to speak to __ right now, hm?”

With a smile that said “I wish you all the best” from Kokomi, you obediently followed Miko outside. “Oh, so this is how you really felt about me all this time? How adorable.” You said nothing, patiently waiting for the rejection to come so you could finally move on.

"I love you too." Even with the mischievous smile on her face, her cheeks that were flushed red betrayed her. Shocked silent , you stood in front of her, frozen and unable to form a coherent sentence. After what felt like several minutes, you remembered that you were supposed to give a reply. "I... Thank you." Words were conveyed through loving actions as you gently cradle her hand in yours and she gazes at you like you're her entire world. Everything else seemed to fade from your vision when you look into her eyes, seeing endless possibilities of the future.

[bimsha]

Series : 100 WAYS TO SAY I LOVE YOU

Inspired by: 100 ways to say I love you

Fandom: Tokyo Revengers

Pairing: Seishu Inui x Fem!Reader

Tags: best friends, crushes, fluff, best friends pinning

Tw: bad breakup, angst, hurt/comfort

Word count: 1.26k

Note: This oneshot is not connected to my other oneshot in the same series. Please not that all the oneshots in the series are separate. So, even if I write about the same character twice or thrice the oneshots won't be connected :D

When he dumped you that night after a cup of coffee inside your favourite cafe, you wondered whether you would ever be able to come to this place again. You had been dating him for a year but then suddenly, he wanted to get out of your life, start over. You asked why, he just said some feelings don’t have reasons and we shouldn’t question it. He left the cafe, the bell chiming a melancholic tune, not the usual cheery chime it brought forth to make you happy.

You just sat there, staring at the empty cup in front of you. Your mind is strangely blank, frighteningly vacant. You were oblivious to the stares of the staff. They were worried. They knew you well because you were a regular. After several minutes of pure numbness, reality comes rushing back at you, crashing upon you as you understand the meaning of this. There would be no more late night phone calls, no one to kiss you upon midnight.

You are back at the place you started. It’s strange how a breakup can undo the person whom you’ve become.

You fiddled with your bag trying to look for your phone. With shaky fingers you scrolled through your contact list to find the number you’re most familiar with. The number you’ve called every time when you need a break, someone to talk to, The only person who can console your broken soul right now.

You don’t remember how the conversation went. You just ramble into the line as he listens, the rustle in the background making you aware how he’s throwing things around to get ready to pick you up. He doesn’t hang up and when he does, you raise your eyes to see him dashing into the cafe. Not devoid of any customers, the staff readying to call.

“Y/n” He says, rushing to you.

“Sei” You whisper when he wraps his coat around your shoulder and guides you to the door. Neither of you speak as he unlocks the car and helps you in. You feel childish, dramatic for acting like this but then again we are always shocked by the sudden twists of life that we need help to function.

He drives the car in silence, turning up the music and playing each and every of your favourite songs. You stare idly at the radio and wander at it. How the music soothes you, how Seishu knows exactly what to do and what helps you relax. He drives past your house and stops at his. It’s almost like he read your mind. You don’t want to be in that apartment, to be reminded of all those memories.

After parking the car, you both walk in. No tears yet. You don’t know how long you can hold on. “Do you want to take a shower?”

You nod because you do. Stepping into the shower, you let the water relax your body. You rub at your eyes, sniffle quietly so he won’t hear as silent tears stream down. When you walk out wearing fresh clothes, Seishu is sitting on the bed, a feast of snacks beside him. He doesn’t question your puffed eyes but pats the space beside him.

You crawl into the bed and snuggle to his embrace as he slips a hand around you. “What happened?” He finally asks. In this warm room, inside his warm embrace making sure you feel safe, he asks.

“He broke up with me” You answer. When you finally speak them, utter them using your voice only you realise how real this is. Till now, you let them hover in the air and ignored them at all costs thinking if you stopped thinking or talking about it, the situation would fade away. But as you spoke, you realise there’s no going back. He wanted it to end, and you didn’t even ask for a solid reason.

Hot tears burn your cheeks, you sniffle and press your palms against them in a vain attempt to brush them away. Seishu pulls you into a hug and caresses your locks when you cry you heard out to his chest. Gasping for breath. “It’s over, Sei. It’s all over” You scream, “I don’t even know why.”

“Y/n” He mutters to your hair, “Breathe, okay?”

“I feel like my heart is about to burst” You wheeze, “It hurts so much”

“It’s okay to be sad” He says, “And besides if your heart is in pieces, you can borrow mine”

You stop sniffling and push away so you can see his face. “Don’t tell me you said that with a straight face”

He blinks then manages a smile. “If your heart is broken you can borrow mine” He repeats as if to prove the point.

You sniffle but can't help smiling. “Cheesy jerk” You wipe your face, breathing hard. “Damn it”

Seishu takes the remote and flips through the movies and turns onto your favourite one. You turn your eyes as it starts, his arms still wrapped around you, thumb caressing your skin.

You don’t want to think about the breakup. But your mind keeps forcing you to do it anyway. You turn your mind to what Seishu said instead. You think back to the times you two became friends first. Since then, he had been there, always there despite the occasion. After every bad breakup, heartbreak he’s there. Even when your thirteen years old self decided to run away from home, he was the one who opened his doors for you. Instead of calling you a fool, he just sat there with you and reminded you of all the times you had fun with your parents.

Bad times are just like the happy ones, he always said, they pass just as quickly.

“Y/n?”

You turn your head and hum. “Yes?” You already knew what he was going to say.

“Bad times are just like happy ones” He says, and you listen as if you’re hearing it for the first time. “They pass just as quickly” You look at this man whom you had seen as a boy, a teenager and now a man and wonders would you two ever cross the border of being friends.

Maybe that’s why you always break up and end up being dumped. Maybe all your exes realised that there’s a piece of you that would never be theirs. “Yeah” You cast the thoughts away and wipe your eyes. “You’re right”

“You don’t have to fine just now though” He grins patting his chest. “The offer still stands”

“I know Sei” You smile, “Thank you for everything”

You both focus on the movie, all through the night you both don’t sleep, instead keep watching one after another while Sei makes sure you’re warm, and you’re eating something, junk food as it is. When the characters blabber and fight in the background, you cuddle against his body and wonder whether there will be a day you can give your heart to him. The fear in your mind of rejection and a broken friendship holds you back, but sometimes, just like this one, makes you want to just go ahead and do it.

But right now, you don’t want to break this beautiful comfort. You know tomorrow you’d keep thinking about your broken relationship maybe the whole week. But you won’t be alone when you’re going through this, you know. With that reassuring thought, you close your eyes and smile.

You won’t ever be alone.

I just love this dynamic okay sniff

[sparkles-and-trash]

The Gaang are Roommates AU ~

note: this is a rewrite and repost of my old roommates au, there was some stuff I wanted to change, and I wanted to make the parts a little longer, so yeah, ta-dah! 

- think modern setting in the canon universe, bending is still a thing 

- the Gaang are all in going to Ba Sing Se University 

- I’m gonna change the ages a bit to make it easier for myself, sorry 

- Zuko, Sokka, Suki and Mai are 20, Katara, Ty Lee and Azula are 19, Aang, Toph and Yue are 18

- so, Zuko, Sokka, Katara, Aang and Toph end up living together in a big loft type apartment 

- Sokka and Aang are old best friends, they met Toph in Middle School, and Katara is a natural part of the group 

- until now Sokka and Katara have both been living in the dorms, and they both hate it intensely 

- but now that Aang and Toph are also in uni, they all decide to move in together!

- …but the only problem is that the only place they find that they like is just out of their price rage (Toph’s parents aren’t supportive of her major so they’re not helping out much)

- enter: ~ Zuko ~

- so, Zuko has been living with his uncle Iroh since his Father, who’s a high up in some big and important company the Fire Nation, disowned him for speaking up against the company’s shifty treatment of workers and ruining a lot of sacred land etc 

- they’re still firebenders and the scar still happened, not in an Agni Kai, but it happened 

- but after Zuko started uni, Iroh really tried to push him to meet some people his own age and make some friends

- the only people Zuko talks to on the regular besides Iroh is Azula, Ty Lee and Mai, and Mai is the only one who is like, his friend yanno?

- the last year the deal was that if Zuko didn’t branch out, Iroh would have him live one year with other students

- it’s his idea of tough love 

- Zuko tried to do some random kid’s homework to have them pretend to be his new friend in front of Iroh so he wouldn’t have to, but Iroh can tell he’s lying so easily 

- so, Zuko ends up hearing about the Gaang through Mai, who heard from Ty Lee, who plays field hockey, Suki, who’s best friends with Sokka

- so, he goes to meet them, and it’s so awkward mY GOD

- Katara is a B I G environmental activist and HATES Ozai and his company, with good reason

- she eases up a tad when Zuko admits to being turned away from as a teen, but she is still suspicious

- Aang loves him right away, ofc, and that makes Katara even more suspicious because she’s pretty protective of Aang

- she claims it’s because he’s so kind and believes everyone but she totally liikeees hiiiim

- Toph is just like, sure, as long as he pays his rent idgaf

- Sokka is weirdly quiet, because he’s had a huge crush on Zuko forever, and the only one who knows is Aang (and Toph but she ain’t no snitch)

- so, ya boy makes the cut, and before they know it, it’s move-in day!

- but, the idiots didn’t think through the facts that it’s only three bedrooms oops

- and Toph is NOT afraid to pull the “I’m blind and I need my space” card

- and nobody’s up to fight her on it, so 

- let’s just say there is A LOT of back and forth, but with Katara refusing to room with her brother again, and Zuko being rightfully scared of Katara, it ends up with Zuko and Sokka sharing a bedroom, and Katara and Aang

- they have separate beds ofc

- but still, tension, man, so much tension

- it takes a while, but the dynamics starts working out really well

- Zuko is good at grocery shopping and likes to clean, and Aang is always happy to help him out

- Sokka loves cooking, so he does that a lot

- Katara is always on top of the others with schoolwork and making sure everyone is okay, and she usually does it in genius, sneaky ways so people doesn’t even notice that she does it

- Toph is clearing the air off bullshit

- like, she will call a bitch out

- but because she cares about said bitch

- so, Aang knows that Sokka has a crush on Zuko because Sokka told him in a weak moment, and Toph knows because she just knows

- Aang is a good friend tho, and he tries to like, ease them together

- but he is so awkward about it, the poor thing, and Zuko doesn’t understand AT ALL

- Toph is just sitting back and sighing a lot

- Katara doesn’t understand either but she just stays out of it (smart girl)

- but okay, we know how oblivious Zuko can be right?

- Sokka can give him googly eyes and blush and stutter around him so much and he still has no clue at all

- Zuko starts thinking Sokka just doesn’t like him at all

- but then one night Zuko has this really intense nightmare

- okay and quick addition, his scar is… handshaped? Like, you can clearly tell what happened to him

- but nobody talks about it, yet

- but then he’s having a terrible nightmare and is talking and begging and pleading in his sleep

- so much that Sokka wakes up

- and he catches on pretty fast, but had no idea what to do

- so he just shuffles over to Zuko’s side of the room and starts tapping his shoulder rapidly

- but nothing happens

- so he just… gently and awkwardly pats his head until Zuko wakes up

- and Zuko is like… wat u doin there bro

- and Sokka is like… just patting ur head to wake you from a nightmare bro

- and they awkwardly just mumble and go back to their beds

- but Zuko is smiling a lot because someone who’s not his family or a family friend really cares about him

- after that, Zuko slowly starts opening up to all of them, but Sokka especially 

- he never really tells them about being cast out and burned tho

- until one day he kinda casually slings it into a convo all fast and awkwardly

- it’s just Toph, Aang and Sokka there

- Toph yells so WHAATTT so loudly and just metalbends the whole fridge into a clump in rage

- Aang cries lmao but he tries to hide to and be supportive and not awkward

- Sokka is kinda quiet, but he carefully asks about it that night when they’re in their beds, and they talk a little about it

- Aang tells Katara (with permission) and she awkwardly, but wholeheartedly tells him that he can always talk to her

- they do that «awkward sibling hug» from Gravity Falls after

- *hugs stiffly* «pat, pat»

- but okay, Toph and metalbending when angry, it happens quite a lot 

- this was the first time it was the fridge, but the toaster, the microwave, and several other appliances have met the same fate

- everyone is kinda used to it now, and she always replaces it

- except Zuko, who’s still kinda new to them all

- but what are you supposed to say when your new friends is so outraged by the abuse you went through that they crush a whole ass fridge?

- it actually reminds him that he’s cared for here, by these people who owe him nothing, and is not related to him, and it makes him a little dizzy to have people care this way

- he casually mentions it to his Uncle Iroh the time he’s in at work, that his new friend is a metalbender and squashed their whole fridge when she was pissed on his behalf

- Iroh is thrilled

- to the point of offering Toph a job lmao

- Toph, desperate to cut of as much ties with her family and be as self-sufficient as possible, agrees

- and now Iroh have two formerly rich kids with no clue about any sort of customer service and basic stuff like that working for him

- Toph is a hard worker tho, and she and Zuko work surprisingly well together

- Katara is a little relived, because the more those two work, the less are the chances of either of them trying to cook or do too many chores around their apartment

- they mean well, or, Zuko does, but he does so much dumb shit when trying to help lmao

- Sokka starts spending a lot of time over at The Jasmine Drago too

- Aang is still trying to keep the fact that Sokka likes Zuko a secret, but he is having trouble

- Katara is his biggest weakness, and now they’re suddenly alone with her a lot

- someone else who could always read Sokka really well is Suki

. whom he used date in high school, but they parted as friends and everything s cool

- but Sokka is a little taken aback when she comes into The Jasmine Dragon one day, hand in hand with Sokka’s childhood crush obsession, Yue

- for the first time in man’s memory, Sokka is a little speechless

- and Suki’s like “lmao dude I haven’t seen you like this since the first time you saw Zu-”

- cue Zuko popping out behind them like “WELCOME TO THE JASMINE DRAGON FRIENDS OF SOKKA :D”

- Sokka is so fucking red, poor boy is just about having an aneurism at this point

- but luckily something happens and Zuko gets distracted

- Suki is having the time of her life tho, Sokka always used to tease her for her crushes before and after they dated, and suddenly, here they are

- at the apartment, Aang decides they need some apartment traditions

- they’ve been living there for almost three months, after all

- so he decides that weekly movie nights are mandatory

- so are pillowforts

- Katara is actually really excited for it, she loves all things cozy and fall-like

- also… she is weak for Aang, y’all, and she loves seeing him all excited

- Zuko barely knows what a pillowfort is, he didn’t think real people actually made it

- but imagine these dorks in a pillowfort with hot chocolate and lot’s of pillows

- Toph claims that she thinks it’s soo dumb, but she will always make sit in the middle of the group all wrapped in her blanket and laughing when the others jump and get spooked from the horror movies Sokka always wants to watch

- and she will make sure the fort is right and perfect lmao

- Zuko is a little awkward about it at first, but he likes it too

- Sokka always manages to plop in next to Zuko lmao

- they haven’t talked about the head patting incident yet, but Zuko is def starting to feel the butterflies

- one time after a movie night Sokka falls asleep on Zuko’s shoulder, after the others have left for the night

- Zuko can’t resist waking him up with awkward head pats similar to the one Sokka used on him

- Sokka thinks he died and went to heaven lmao

- but then he fully wakes and sees Zuko’s shit eating grin and can’t help but laugh at the whole thing

- and Zuko has his “oh no he’s hot beautiful and I really adore him” moment

[fishstyx]

yandere nekoma.

featuring. kuroo tetsuro, kozume kenma, lev haiba, morisuke yaku x gn!reader

genre. dark/taboo, smut

tw. 18+ nsfw, noncon, toxic behavior, stalking, manipulation, abuse, babytrapping. implied penetration, oral.

✸ kuroo tetsuro.

• kuroo knows exactly what he’s doing. backing you up into a corner, toying with you once you’re trapped because he loves a good game of cat and mouse. he picks your friends off one by one until there’s no one left to turn to—at least, no one to turn to but him.

• his torturous patience pays off, and soon enough he has you all to himself, all those pesky distractions you once considered companions suddenly cutting contact with just a little tampering.

• it’s at a party when everything in your life seems to fall apart. the people you used to be closest to are suddenly ignoring you, and those with whom you’re loosely acquainted are all whispering behind your back.

“just what did you tell them?!” you yell at kuroo, wanting nothing more than to leave this very instant, but he blocks the bathroom door with ease.

“nothing i had to lie about,” he replies, eerily calm as you push against his chest.

“liar. don’t give me that bullshit!” but your voice comes out all wobbly, and he knows you’re not completely convinced by yourself.

“just accept it already. they can’t like, let alone love you for who you truly are,” he says. you shake your head fervently but he takes your chin in his hand, cat-like eyes deceptively soft as he leans in and backs you up against the sink, hard enough for you to feel his growing bulge.

“but i can. in fact, i already do. so let me show you.”

✸ kozume kenma.

• kenma doesn’t play the same game as kuroo; he’s too busy with his own, after all. there are better ways, he thinks, to tie his darling down to him.

• enter your new home: an extra large dog crate just for you! the bars are spaced wide enough for you to fiddle with the latch, but he keeps it padlocked for no chance of escape.

• not to mention the hefty collar at your neck and the heavy chain that clinks every time you move—though where it leads to, you’re not quite sure yet.

“kenma, ‘m thirsty,” you whine, delirious from a severe lack of nutrition. your captor’s eyes flicker from you to his monitor, sighing when he sees the way your fingers cling to the metal bars.

“okay, okay, i’ll get you something to drink,” he says, pausing his game with slow, reluctant movement. he looks around for something to give you—nothing but a litter of crushed monster cans and a water bottle that hasn’t been filled in days, maybe weeks.

but right when he’s about to head for the kitchen, it hits him like a truck. why should he walk all the way to the fridge when he’s boasting a perfectly good source of hydration himself?

he’s hovering over your cage now, undoing his pants with sudden immediacy before threading his cock through the bars of your doggy cage, enamored by the look on your face—so dazed and lost and confused.

“now suck.”

✸ lev haiba.

• lev just wants what’s best for you, and what’s best for you is a big, strong man to protect you from the dangers of the world.

• what’s that? you called him crazy? silly little thing, doesn’t even know what’s good for itself. but when he sees your reddened nose and tear-soaked eyes, he just has to forgive you and your cluelessness. he’s not a monster, after all.

• there, there. isn’t that so much better, with his pretty fingers stuffed deep inside of you?

the tears won’t stop, fat droplets of saltwater staining your clothes—clothes that lev picked out himself, all for his sweet little adorable kitten.

“what’s wrong, little one?” he asks as if he isn’t violating you in this very moment, curling his fingers up in search of that one spongy spot that’s supposed to have you shivering in pleasure. instead you’re frozen in place, silently praying for him to stop, wetness streaking your cheeks when he shows no signs of slowing down.

“oh, i get it now!” lev shoots you a boyish, cheeky grin before abruptly pulling out, and if you didn’t know any better you might have actually believed him.

but it’s abundantly clear that he hasn’t heard your quiet pleas at all when he lets his pants fall to the ground. he’s leaning into you now, stroking the tent in his boxers before cooing in your ear:

“you need something bigger, don’t you?”

✸ morisuke yaku.

• yaku doesn’t do anything overtly alarming to you. nothing you can pinpoint yourself, anyway.

• he doesn’t have the scheming personality of kuroo and kenma nor the cluelessly lovelorn mindset of lev. what he does have is the soaring desire to put a baby in you. because he likes the thing the two of you have going on, wants to prolong it as long as possible.

• you’re way too trusting of yaku, lifting your ass up in the air without looking behind to make sure he has a condom on. he was right to go in bareback; what would happen if some other guy got ahold of you in all of your naivete?

“that’s all me?” you ask, stunned by the way ‘your’ cum drips onto the bed as yaku pulls out of you. there’s so much today, and it forms an ever-growing, glistening puddle underneath you.

“that’s all you, babe,” he says, used condom already in his hand—but it’s the one from last round, not that you can tell yourself.

“we should do this more often, then. from the back, i mean.”

yaku pulls you in and smiles into your neck, giddy with delight. you’re making this easy for him. almost too easy.

“yes, we really should.”

fishstyx © 2021 ✸ all content and their rights belong to me. do not repost, reproduce, or modify anywhere.

[dollslayer]

Shots or Dare

Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: A drinking game goes one step too far. Or does it?

W/C: 1,551

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, drunken antics, hangovers, swearing

A/N: Just a quick little oneshot for y'all! I'm working on some bigger stuff but wanted to put this out there just for kicks. If you like it check out my other stuff and reblog/comment! Cheers!

Main Masterlist

____

‘When will yo finally jsut go on s date with me?’

You sent it before you could even really register your actions. This is why you should’ve volunteered to be DD. Drinking on Girl’s Night always lands you in trouble. Trouble in this case, comes in the form of a dare and the persuasions of an equally drunk and far more excited Wanda.

“You finally DID IT! YOU DID IT!” Wanda hollers as she jumps from the booth in celebration.

Your hand shot up to cover her mouth, noticing several tables in the bar were looking towards you. You wobbled a bit and held the table for support with your other hand. You shushed her and sat back down.

“Did what? What did I do?” You asked, seeming to be the only one not in on the joke.

“Check your texts, lover girl” Paling in fear at her words you swipe up on your phone and read. Oh, God.

‘When will yo finally jsut go on s date with me?’ Read: 1:19AM You felt the blood rush from your brain to your cheeks in sheer humiliation.

You tried your best to recall a few minutes ago when Wanda was practically typing out the message for you as Nat looked on in amusement. You were playing Shots or Dare, a very dangerous game you now realized. Wanda dared you that you wouldn’t finally say something to Steve, whom you’ve had a crush on since you joined the team. You were always so much bolder when you were drunk.

Now sobered in an instant having seen that not only had you actually sent the text but that he’d read it. Your superior officer, your teammate, your friend. God, I must seem so sloppy. How do I even solve this? What do I even say? How soon could I realistically transfer out so I never have to see him again?

Your phone sat shakily in your hands as your thumb hovered above it, unsure what to type. Before you could Nat snatched your phone from your hand and put it in her pocket. You were about to protest when she just shook her head at you.

“It’s too late and you’re too drunk. He probably thinks you’re kidding. Just sleep in my room tonight we’ll fix it in the morning” She offered.

Even though Nat herself was 4 or 5 drinks in she always seemed to have her head on straight. You swallowed and nodded before hiding your face in your hands.

“Relax, I’m sure he thinks it’s hot you’re just going for it! My turn! I choose dare!” Wanda changed the subject with a clap of her hands and eagerly awaited her dare. You didn’t know how you were going to get through the rest of the night without freaking out about it so you ordered yourself another drink and got to forgetting.

____

Staying out until almost 3, the group of you stumbled your way back to the tower and into Nat’s room. You promptly passed out in full makeup and without changing your clothes. You’d wake up to a hangover but that was tomorrow you’s problem.

And a problem it was, not six hours later you awoke to loud knocking from down the hall. You groaned and turn into the couch cushions hoping to fall back asleep. The knocking came again and you ignored it, sighing in comfort when you heard whomever it was retreating back up the hall.

Unable to sleep, you got up slowly and tried to gauge the severity of your hangover. Deciding you’d rather deal with this in the comfort of your own room you wrestle to get your shoes off your feet and carry them in one hand while you open the door with the other. You do your best to sneak down the hall to your room, only being a few doors down from Nat.

You make it just in front of your room when you drop your shoes and wince at the sound it makes. You steady yourself on the door to pick them up when you hit your head on the handle. It stings and you cringe at the feeling of the long handle getting stuck in your hair. Surprised, you hiss at the pain and drop both your shoes again as you desperately try to untangle yourself.

You could not be more of a mess if you tried. Maybe if you puked right now but all the willpower you had left was preventing that from happening. After a moment of all but ripping your hair from your head you’re free with one final jerk forwards, which of course, causes you to lose your balance and topple forward.

You put both your hands out and brace for the carpet burn of the collision but it never comes. Instead you’re being held steady by two large hands and all you can think to do is pray that it isn’t who you think it is. No God would be that cruel.

You slowly look up and find yourself eye to eye with Steve. No God except this one, apparently. He looks concerned as he helps you back up slowly to your feet. He picks up your shoes and opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. He looks you up and down, taking in your appearance trying to assess how best to approach the situation.

You’re suddenly very aware that you’re still in last night’s clothes and that the mascara on your eyelashes is smudged from where you fell asleep. If the Earth could swallow you whole right now you’d have no objections. You feel sweat from your nervousness mixing with last night’s too. I am a literal human disaster, this could not get worse. Please, please don’t bring up the text.

He clears his throat. “I, um, I saw you texted me last night.” Fuck. “I knew you were out with the girls, just wanted to make sure you made it home okay.”

You hide your face with your hands and huff out a breath of embarrassment.

“Yeah, um, thank… you… Yeah I’m good” You were not good. On top of the trainwreck of an encounter this already was your knees are giving out on you. You need to lay down now. Maybe get some food in you.

Steve rushed forward to pick you up again when you caught yourself against the door and fumbled to unlock it.

“Why don’t you let me do that?” He moved you gently aside to fiddle with the door before opening it and ushering you inside.

He set your shoes down by the door and helped you out of your jacket.

“When’s the last time you ate something? Or maybe you need some water?” He offered.

You shook your head at him and stuck your hands out to feel your way to your bed. This was already so embarrassing, Steve didn’t need to continue to see you like this.

Steve shook his head slightly and tsked at you. He helped you into bed and then looked at you with his hands on his hips, like he was contemplating his next move.

“I’m going to make some breakfast, do you think you could get a shower in that time or do you need to rest? Regardless after that you’re going to eat what I made and drink a whole glass of water, no protests.” He spoke gently but firm as he walked towards the door.

“Steve, please you don’t need to do this, I’m so sorry jus’ lemme get some sleep you don’t have to do anyth-”

“I said no protests. Now if I come back here in 15 minutes and you’re not in that shower I’m gonna be upset, do you understand?” He was using his Captain voice now and you rolled your eyes before giving him a lazy salute.

“Aye aye, cap” He chooses not to respond to your smart ass response, only chuckles as he closes the door behind him.

____

One very woozy shower later you managed to only kind of puke your guts out and put on a clean pair of clothes. You exited your ensuite to the smell of bacon and eggs. Having gotten all the puke out of your system your mouth was now practically watering at the prospect of food.

Steve was sat on your couch with two plates and he stood to greet you.

“I didn’t know what you like but I figure you can’t go wrong with the classics. I figure while we eat we can watch one of these so-called ‘classics’ you’re always on my case about watching?” He grinned at you and waited for a response.

You shuffled over to your couch and plopped down beside him.

“Why’re you doin’ this for me, Steve? You don’t have to do any of this, I’m good” You kept trying to insist, feeling guilty that you were so hungover earlier and messy in front of him on top of your very infamous drunk text.

“Well this is a date isn’t it?” He smiles down at you with a boyish smirk and all you can do is return his expression and think of what movie to pick. Maybe Shots or Dare isn’t all that bad. This time at least.

[jekde04]

There’s Something About Juvia

For Gruvia Week 2021: Day 1 - Beguile

Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4

Pairing: Gruvia (Gray Fullbuster & Juvia Lockser)

Fandom: Fairy Tail

Genre: Romance/Humor/Friendship

Word Count: 1,562 words

Summary: His memories were still hazy at best, but Gray swore that damn potion did something weird to him. (Based on the aftermath of Episode 50, "Special Request: Watch Out for the Guy You Like!")

You may also read it on FanFiction.net and AO3! Check out my master list for other Gruvia fics.

Seriously, what did that woman do to him?

His memories of the incident were still hazy at best, only pieced together by bits and pieces he heard from his guildmates.

Apparently, Juvia unwittingly used a potion that made rivals out of each other. He ended up facing off with Happy of all people – err, cats. That probably explained why he kept seeing different versions of a terrified Happy in his mind.

But what he didn't understand was while everyone else stayed inside the guildhall (hence its dilapidated state), he ended up all the way to Galuna Island, where he finally came to his senses.

Just what the hell happened to him?

The door to Master Makarov's office closed with a thud, and Gray watched Juvia as she made her way to one of the guild's tables, eyes guilt-ridden and downcast. It didn't seem that bad, though, as he saw the Master wave her off with a grin on his face as if he were more amused than mortified of the whole situation. That was a big deal, considering that any form of guild renovation angers the tight-pursed old man.

And he wasn't the only one who seemed to be uncharacteristically taking things in stride. He watched Cana as she sat beside the water mage, draping an arm over her shoulders (the other wrapped around a keg, what else?) and whispering something that made the blunette turn bright pink. On Juvia's other side sat Erza, who pressed the timid girl close to her breastplate in what appeared to be a bone-crushing hug.

Gray scoffed at the unfairness of it all. If it were him or Natsu who destroyed the guild, Erza wouldn't be that merciful. He shivered as he imagined all the scary things she would've done to them.

But everything was back to normal now – all the damages repaired and the effects of that damn potion having worn off. At least, for most of them.

Gray couldn't say the same thing for himself because truth be told, there was a funny feeling at the pit of his stomach that would show up now and then. Though he didn't remember much about what happened, that feeling often surfaced with the memory of floating in the warm sea, the rays of the sun hitting his face...

... and a blushing Juvia cradling him in her arms, a soft, almost loving look shining in her dark blue eyes.

The thought of it made blood rush to his cheeks. If he didn't know any better...

Something clicked in his mind.

A love potion.

But no, she wouldn't dare.

... Would she?

Gray sighed audibly, raking his hands over his face. Ever so slightly, he snuck a peek at Juvia and saw her still uncomfortably sandwiched between Cana and Erza, both of whom looked to be teasing her about something.

Sure, she hung out with him a lot, but it was no big deal. She was still quite new to the guild, and he was one of the first ones she met, though the circumstances could have been better. Still, he was probably one of the few people she easily grew accustomed to, as he had gone with her on missions until she got used to being part of Fairy Tail.

In other words, they were friends. And friends did not give love potions to each other. Besides, why would he be the only one affected when almost the entire guild took that potion?

He dismissed the ridiculous thought.

Gray hadn't realized he had been staring at Juvia for quite a while until she looked up and locked eyes with him. He quickly looked away, but the sight of those big doe eyes brought back a rush of fragmented memories that made something in his chest flutter.

Juvia holding him in her arms. Juvia looking affectionately at him. Juvia's voice calling his name.

Really, what the hell was wrong with him?

"Gray-sama?"

He was so distracted that he hadn't noticed Juvia come up to him. She seemed to be a little on edge, her hands clasped tightly in front of her and her eyes looking everywhere but him.

But if there were anyone who could finally answer all those goddamn questions running through his mind, it would be her.

Gray cleared his throat. "Hey, Juvia. That was some wild potion stuff you did, huh," he said, followed by a tiny smirk.

It was meant to be a joke, but the way Juvia flinched as if burned made him immediately regret what he said. Honestly, he was just trying to make small talk! He really had a knack for making things awkward.

He was about to say sorry when Juvia beat him to it. "Juvia's sorry, Gray-sama! She didn't mean to cause so much trouble. She didn't know it would affect everyone that way!"

Her eyes started to water, and Gray felt panic rising in his throat. He could not deal with crying girls, let alone Juvia, who had the ability to flood the guild with her tears.

He quickly shook his head and said, "Hey now, don't worry about it! Worse things have happened here. And no one's blaming you for anything, see?" He gestured towards their guildmates, each one minding their own business as if the guild were not in total shambles just the day before.

Juvia looked around her, then returned her eyes to him. She didn't seem pacified at all. "But you're not mad at Juvia, are you?"

Gray's lips curved into a tiny smile. "Why would I be mad?" It amused him how Juvia looked more concerned about his opinion than the rest of their guildmates. It even filled him with a certain pride that she would have such high regard for his feelings.

Plus, she really looked cute with that bit of crease on her brow and that tiny tremble on her lips.

Wait, what?

Gray narrowed his eyes. "Unless... you did something different with me?" After all, he still didn't have the tiniest idea how he ended up on an island, for goodness' sake.

Juvia looked taken aback. A blush bloomed on her pale cheeks as she started to fiddle with the hem of her top. "Umm, well, Juvia... sort of made you drink the whole potion."

"What?!" Gray asked incredulously. Well, that definitely answered how he made it to Galuna Island. And why he kept on seeing the image of Juvia holding him in her arms. "But why did you do that?"

Juvia quickly turned as red as a tomato. "U-uh... Ju-Juvia... Uhm..."

Suddenly, it all made sense. Why Juvia was always so shy around him. Why she spent a lot of time with him. Why she always invited him on missions. And why she made him gulp a whole potion and not someone else.

A smirk crossed his face. "Oh, I know now."

"Y-you do?" He didn't know it was possible, but Juvia's face got even redder. He was definitely spot on.

"It's because..."

Juvia gulped.

"... you want me to be your rival! Right, Juvia?"

He grinned at her. Juvia might look sweet and innocent, but he would never forget the fact that behind that timid exterior lies a badass mage. Not only had he struggled to battle against her before, but he also fought beside her several times during missions, giving him a pretty good idea of how strong and awesome she really was. He felt a sense of pride swell within him that such a powerful and accomplished mage would choose him to be her rival.

"Err... does Gray-sama want Juvia to be her rival?" she asked him. He chuckled at how she looked so unsure of herself.

Gray was about to answer, "Of course!" but stopped himself. Yes, he was honored that Juvia wanted him to be her rival, but...

"Well, I was thinking more of partners, you know," Gray started. "Don't get me wrong, Juvia. I think you'd be a great rival, but our powers are so alike, so it might be a better idea if we team up instead of –"

Gray wasn't able to finish what he was saying as an ecstatic Juvia suddenly lunged at him and wrapped her arms around his torso. He froze at the sudden contact as he was not expecting such a reaction from her.

Juvia looked up at him and asked, "Gray-sama really wants Juvia to be his partner?" Her eyes were so bright, it looked like a ray of sunlight cracking open a piece of blue sky.

That funny feeling stirred in his stomach again.

"Why not?"

Juvia let out a squeal, hugging him tighter. He wondered how this sometimes shy, always excitable girl could be the same gloomy rain woman he first met months ago. Though he didn't have anything against the past Juvia, he decided that he liked this version better.

Even if she was squeezing the heck out of him.

"Uh, Juvia, could you –?" he asked as he tried to push her away. She relented, smoothed her dress over, and gave him a sweet, loving smile.

There goes that weird, fluttery feeling again.

At that moment, Gray concluded two things: One, that those odd stirrings were probably due to his potion overdose. And two, that they were going to fade over time.

He had never been so wrong in his life.

A/N: I entered the Gruvia fandom during the 100YQ, so it’s challenging to write Gray not yet having strong feelings for Juvia. But their wild ride from enemies to lovers is what endeared me to them the most, so hopefully I get more inspiration to write fics encapsulating their journey. I hope I somehow captured their early friendship here (and Juvia’s little crush on Gray, obvious to everyone except him, lol).

[bbysamu]

Bandaid

Like I need U series 

⭑ part II ⭑ 

part I ; part III 

⭑ Song: Bandaid by Keshi

⭑ Warning: Minor angst 

⭑ Pairing: Oikawa  x f!reader (slight Tsukishima mention)

Tag list (by request - thank you all for your support): @nachotrash; @whateverfeelz

Oikawa Toru, renowned pretty boy of Aoba Johsai, captain of the volleyball team is known for several things: his fluffy brown hair, charming smile, charismatic personality and killer volleyball skills. 

Less known for his hard work ethic, love for aliens, and crush on one of the Karasuno’s volleyball manager. 

It was a Tuesday, Iwaizumi had texted the captain reminding him of a practice match with Karasuno, where Tobio Kageyama was currently setter. All day Oikawa had been looking forward to this practice match, where he could see Kageyama again to see if Oikawa is still the better setter. After all, he’s been working so hard to make sure he can beat Kageyama. So despite being placed on a break by his coach, Oikawa was sure nothing could stop him from at least playing a little bit in the match. 

When Oikawa arrived, he stood at the door, watching the match, in which Karasuno was currently leading. Annoyed, he did a quick survey of the team. Sure, Karasuno got some tall players and their raven-haired and blonde managers are just as beautiful as rumors but thats it. Karasuno was just another volleyball team. 

Oikawa suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder. He whirled around to find a black-haired girl politely smile up at him. Oikawa’s breath caught in his throat. 

“Excuse me, do you mind letting me through? I’m one of Karasuno’s manager and I’m running a little late” (Y/N) smiled apologetically at tall boy blocking the door. 

“Oh yes, of course of course, sorry about that” Oikawa quickly moved out the way, watching the beautiful manager make her way over to her team. He didn’t miss the way she first glanced around her team before shyly blowing a kiss at the tall blond middle blocker, who pretended to catch it, making her giggle. 

Oikawa was surprised by the disappointment he felt in his heart. He was constantly surrounded by his fan girls, many of whom are pretty, so what was this new feeling? Why was he disappointed to see this beautiful girl, a stranger no less, have a boyfriend? 

The match went by quickly, though still playing at his best, Oikawa’s silly self rivalry with Kageyama took a backseat, as he kept glancing over at her. He saw the way she bit her lips in anticipation when it was Karasuno’s turn to attack, the worry in her eyes when Tsukishima held his fingers, re-adjusting the tape on them, and the smile of relief when he reassured her he was fine. 

After the game, as all were cleaning up, he felt his eyes being drawn over to her again and couldn’t help but listen in on their conversation. He saw how Tsukishima came over to (Y/N), one hand slightly ruffling her hair, the other clutching his waterbottle, asking “hey (Y/n) why were you late today hm?” 

“Sorry babe, Hinata forgot something in class so I had to go back to get it for him”, (Y/N) answered, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him. 

Tsukishima playfully yelled out to Hinata, “hey tangerine head, stop forgetting things and making my girlfriend late to watch me”. 

Oikawa watched as (Y/N) giggled, before playfully hitting her boyfriend, asking him not to be mean to Hinata, as the tiny middle blocker jumped around apologizing to (Y/N). 

Oikawa watched as Tsukishima tenderly pick up (Y/N)’s hand and led her out of the gym, following the rest of the Karasuno. 

“Crappykawa if you keep looking your eyes might fall out”, the familiar sound of his best friend’s voice called out, followed by the snickers of the other Seijoh four. 

Suddenly an eruption of “Oikawa senpai!!!” rang out as girly giggles echoed throughout the gym. Oikawa turned his attention to his fan girls, trying to stop his thoughts from wandering back to Karasuno’s manager, who is clearly in a happy relationship. 

A Few Weeks Later

“Oikawa please stop bouncing around, why the heck are you so twitchy today” Makki called out, trying to get his captain to stop moving around so much. 

“I heard we have a new manager and she used to be from Karasuno” Oikawa sang out loud, “i’m just glad we have a manager after Sana-chan had to leave, or else the team would be a mess!” 

Makki pouted “no need to remind me about Sana, I’m happy for a new manager too”, who’s ex-girlfriend is the previous manager. 

The door suddenly opened and there (Y/N) stood, as beautiful, if not more, as Oikawa remembered. The gym suddenly fell silent, as the rest of the team stood gaping at their new manager. 

A slow blush rose to her cheeks, her eyes shyly cast down for a slight second, before clearing her throat. “Hi boys! My name is (Y/N) and i’ll be your new manager!” She smiled brightly and suddenly everyone was encouraged to approach her. 

Kindaichi bounced up excitedly to her “Hi (Y/N) senpai, thanks for being our manager!” The other boys nodded in agreement. 

The captain stepped forward and couldn’t help the blush rising to his cheeks as Y/N focused her eyes on him. “Has her eyes always been this big, her lashes so long? She’s cute, she’s super cute, oh but she has a boyfriend argh” Oikawa thought to himself, before clearing his throat realizing he stepped forward without saying anything for the past ten seconds. 

After introducing her to the team and making sure she’s settled in, the captain returned to the team for practice, glancing over at her frequently to make sure she’s okay. 

While the other players only noticed her beauty and friendly personality, Oikawa saw a lot more, the way she stared off into space for the tiniest of moments, eyes suddenly glassy before blinking and taking a deep breath or the way she seemed to force herself to smile at nothing. Oikawa frowned, wondering what was going on. 

A few weeks passed, Y/N became more and more comfortable with the team and the team more comfortable with her. Oikawa and Y/N also became much closer friends. It was easy for the two of them to get along, both of them with easy going and optimistic personalities. 

♫ You should have told me I don't know what to say Why are you sorry How did it get this way ♫

Oikawa found it weird that Y/N never mentioned Tsukishima, until one day after school. Y/N, Oikawa and the rest of the Seijoh four decided to stop by Starbucks after school for a quick pick-me-up after a long, tiring day before heading back for practice. 

Oikawa watched Y/N furrowed her brows in frustration. 

“Argh I don’t know what to choose! Mattsun what would you rather have ? matcha latte or strawberry frapp?” Y/N asked 

Matsukawa wrinkled his nose in disgust “ew neither”. 

The rest of the boys laughed as Y/N hit Mattsun out of frustration, laughters quickly drowning out Mattsun’s protest “Y/N why are you hitting me for your inability to choose!!” 

As sudden as the laughter began, it died as the boys looked at the clear look of shock on your face. Oikawa following your eyes saw the tall blonde middle blocker hand-in-hand with another girl (who was wayyy not as cute as Y/N ,Oikawa thought to himself). 

He saw the way Tsukishima’s shock mirrored Y/N’s, before his girlfriend, with a slight smirk, pulled the tall player down to herself to give him a quick kiss. 

Oikawa whipped his head to look at Y/N’s, who now with slight tears around her eyes, quickly wiped them and said to the captain “just get me a matcha latte please, i’ll..um...wait for you guys outside”. Putting on a brave smile, Y/N walked past Tsukishima and Yuki before heading outside. 

Oikawa looked at the rest of his friends in shock, before running out after Y/N, leaving the rest of the Seijoh boys to throw nasty looks at Tsukishima and Yuki. 

The pretty setter found Y/N in the alley outside the coffee shop wiping tears from her eyes. As soon as Y/N sees Oikawa, she threw him a feeble smile, nose red from crying. Without thinking, Oikawa threw his arms around her and drew her close. 

“He cheated on me, I don’t know why. I’m sorry” Y/N whispered against his chest. 

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault” Oikawa replied. 

The two stood there in a tight embrace, one heart broken, one heart breaking for the one broken. 

♫ I'm afraid That bandaids Are no good For heartache ♫

“I like you Y/N” Oikawa murmured, unable to stop himself from confessing. 

Y/N stiffened at his confession, trying to pull away but the setter pulled her tighter. 

“It’s okay, I’m not expecting anything. I just want you to know”.

Y/N looked up at him, eyes wet with tears. “I’m sorry Toru, but i’m afraid.”

Oikawa smiled “Don’t worry I’m here for you, I’ll wait for you for as long as you need”. 

Bandaids are no good for heartache, but Oikawa Toru doesn’t want to be your bandaid, he wants to be your heart. 

[abbynx]

How would the La Squadra family react to you having a crush on the former boss' daughter, Trish Una? An 'everyone lives' AU because I am in denial. This is going to be a long one as a one-shot, so I made it to headcanon form.

TW: Mentions of injuries, blood, and death

Genre: Platonic, Found family

~ Found and raised by Risotto and the entirety of La Squadra, you grew up within the vicinity of the underpaid mafiosi as a remarkable kid who has extensive knowledge about offing someone without leaving evidence. Well, not that you would be doing that, it's just that they thought teaching you some basics might help you if ever the moment comes and you'll find this useful. That, and self-defence too. ~ You were always under the watchful eye of anyone in the La Squadra, so you found yourself being sneaky just so you can escape them at times without being noticed. They were uber protective of you and to be honest, it can be overbearing at times. ~ You get along with all of them, as you were quite the chameleon. You can match with Prosciutto's stern and strict attitude, be as brooding and intimidating as Risotto, have fun and make jokes like Formaggio, etc etc. ~ Everything was alright, of course, but there's the fact that the assassin branch of Passione were being underpaid, I mean come on. The group begrudgingly accepted this, until Gelato and Sorbet rebelled and failed. They served as the catalyst for the entirety of the La Squadra to betray Passione and overthrow the boss, but waited for a perfect opportunity to do so. ~ The death of the couple Gelato and Sorbet left a hole in your hearts. You found yourself hanging around the couple whenever you felt like it, and intimidating as they look they welcome you with warm arms. ~ And among those days as a thirteen year old, you found yourself sitting at the edge of Risotto's bed, putting a hand over his shoulder to calm him down. Out of the entirety of the La Squadra, he was person severely affected with grief at the death of his teammates, seated at the edge of his bed and cupping his face and choking at his denied sobs. ~ Two years after, it was then the perfect time to strike and wipe out the boss. At the form of his daughter, they strategize to kidnap her, extract information of his identity from her, and strike on the boss. You were reluctant for them to act out this risky mission after seeing what happened to two remarkable assassins of La Squadra who paid the price of punishment without the boss even speaking. And they didn't even plan to involve you in this operation, not even if your Stand is powerful. ~ One by one, they fall apart and it was you're sole mission was to recover their maimed remains and nurse them back to health, travelling to myriad parts of Italy with a van you stole enough to fit the entirety of the La Squadra and with medical equipments. They were barely breathing, but you got to work with what you have, robbing hospitals of equipments and shoplifting from shops for food. Staying up late at night to tend to them, making sure their heartbeats remain steady at the duration of the night. Some of them, their states were worst than the other, you found yourself focused on Illuso and Pesci, as their bodies were the most mangled among others. ~ They all survived thankfully, all mortally injured but survived. Around those times you stayed up late at night tending to their needs, working with your Stand to make sure they live normally again. Tears were shed, hugs were exchanged, numerous 'ow's!' and 'ouch!' were exclaimed. ~ You caught wind of the boss being defeated and honestly, you couldn't care less about it. All you want was that your family survived and functional again. And with that need, you wait for the new boss to find out about the people who attempted to hinder them at their trip, and find you. And by this time, you were ready to bargain your life for them. But instead of being greeted by death, somehow, the new boss opted torecognise the group's strengths and skills as assassins, and offered you guys a chance to prove yourselves worthy to be recruited back in Passione and not be killed. He comissioned your group with important missions to assassinate other branches of Passione dealing criminal services to children, and paid you handsomely in advance and promised more if you were back in Passione. ~ The squadron were

confused, but chose to take the job and easily wiped out those type of people from Passione. Since all of them were in a better state, a little rusty so they took you on the job and for once in your life as one of the La Squadra family, you were made official and made into an assassin along with them. ~ The squad was successful, and earn their selves back in Passione. Although the interaction with the Bucci gang was awkward, you were all professional and civil and seemingly buried the hatchet. ~ Soon after they were able to get back on track in just a span of a year, they offered you to get back to school and lead a somewhat normal life. You accept and enrolled to a private boarding school and unbeknownst to you, so did a certain pink haired sixteen year old. ~ It was in the middle of a school year, too, you've been getting weird looks from classmates. Honestly, you didn't think high school would be this severe and kinda regretted returning to school when you're already content with being homeschooled with the help of Melone and Ghiaccio. I mean, you're an assassin for god's sake but you can't just kill people because they whispered rumours and insults behind your back for being... You honestly didn't know why they treat you like this. ~ Days later, a certain Trish Una also enrolled back to school in an attempt to restore some point of normalcy in her life. Like you, she found herself as a target for whispers at how she looked so snobby and bratty despite being so quiet. ~ I'mma write a whole ass one-shot of you meeting Trish because I can't pass up to simp over her tbh. ~ You found yourself befriending her, oblivious at the fact she is affiliated with Passione, and was the daughter of the old boss, and the girl your family had been trying to kidnap for the sake of overthrowing the old boss. Like her, she was oblivious at your affiliation with the assassin branch of Passione as well. ~ You stuck together at school, just traumatised kids being pals and trying to live a normal life, bonding over anything really, having one teach the other complicated mathematics, until you two started to hang out outside of school where at weekends after school, you two would go out in the nearest mall to shop and perhaps eat in a cafe. ~ The whole La Squadra were refreshed at how you always smile all the time and stare off into space, they were confused at your sudden concern over your appearance and choice of apparel, you started to go out more, etc. They were confused (but never spoke of it out loud around you) at the change, but supported you nonetheless because it was normal to do as a teenager so they let you be. ~ One day, Trish decided to ask you for a study date at the café you frequented at in a Saturday morning and for some reason, you just had the urge to look your best despite just studying. Indecisiveness room over you, prompting you to seek advice from the most fashionable member of the group, Prosciutto. ~ He gave you the advice you need, and so you thanked him to turn away, leave and try the outfits he chose, when Formaggio suddenly spoke beside him: "Ohhh~ Y/N's going in a date~" Formaggio teased, lips pouting playfully and voice in a painfully high, poor attempt to imitate a school girl voice. "What? Does wittle Y/N has a cwush?" You stopped in your tracks at that, glancing at the cheese man with furrowed brows in confusion, but cheeks scorched with the sudden flow of adrenaline from the situation he's put you in. Without hearing a context of anything as he happened to just be walking by he stops, and Melone chimes in as he looked up from his monitor, "A date? With whom?" "You're going on a date?" Prosciutto raised a brow, perhaps preparing a nice, long lecture for you to endure for like an hour. "Is that why you're dressing up nicely?" "I— no!" A rush of overwhelming feeling of confusion, denial and something more mixed in your systems and became more incoherent and incoherent as you try and process things further. "I'm just going out on a study with a friend of mine. I'm not going out on a

date. What? I'm not allowed to get dolled up and look pretty while reviewing?" You try to jest to get yourself out of the situation. ~ After that's over with, Prosciutto let you go with the suspicion of you seeing someone in secret but you deny that wholeheartedly. Jesus now that they mentioned you were out going out on a date with someone, your chest grew tight with something you can't fathom, but more on confusion. "We're just friends hanging out to review, nothing else. Isn't it normal to want to dress up for a friend and look decent... Right?" You attempt to reassure yourself in your way there. ~ You arrive at the café where Trish sat, and just gawked at how effortlessly beautiful she is. She just looks so divine and elegant and beautiful and cute and adorable no matter what she does. She invites you over the table to study and all you could of was the fact it was only you two in the cafe apart from the employee but you are with her, alone... Like a date. Well it is a study date after all, meaning it's for friends. Right? ~ At the duration of the date— study date that is, you were concentrated on  simplifying a lot of lessons for Trish to understand better, but upon that concentration you found yourself fixed on her. The way she bit her lips glossed with pink strawberry lip gloss whenever some questions were difficult for her to solve, the way her emerald gaze would dart up to you after answering for reassurance that she did a great job, the way she'd smile in triumph upon getting questions correct... ~ After that day, you proceeded to question yourself what Formaggio asked earlier, "Does wittle Y/N have a cwush?" And within that newfound realisation, yes you do. But you refuse to feel more of it... Not when she's around of course. ~ Days later, by accident, the secret was let out of the bag. Illuso caught glimpse of a poem you were writing beside him as you lounged around in a Saturday and scanned through it, looking for something he can tease you for it, and successfully spotted a misspelling. As he was about to correct it for you, he then realised you were writing, and addressing a poem towards the girl they were intending to kidnap a year ago. ~ The jerk Illuso is, snatched your notebook away from you, transferred himself in the mirror realm, and began to read it out loud for the others to hear. At first the others just thought of it as normal, it's a day to day occurrences among all you after when they slowly became intrigued to what you've written and listened to Illuso, as you did all your might to get it back. That's when they all heard your fancy towards Trish. ~ Now that connects the dots to why you always smile and stare off into space, dress nicely, and among other stuff you do whilst in love or ahem— as you claimed, 'having a crush' ~ Formaggio began to tease along with Illuso, whilst you only hid your scorching face behind your hands, holding the urge to murder Illuso for that. He knew what's up the moment you've been in a sickly sweet mood, along with your lovesick smile but needed further proof to tease you for it. ~ Prosciutto is rather nonchalant at the news, I mean, it's not new for teens to experience these things. As long as it doesn't really spiral to obsession he's going to let you be. ~ Pesci would be happy for you but under these circumstances of the revelation, he feels your pain and tries his best to comfort you because omg, he can't get through people teasing him, let alone see his loved ones being teased. ~ Melone is simply amused and quite frankly, not surprised. He predicted this will happen sooner or later, as he silently held out his hand in front of the fuming Ghiaccio, waiting for the bet money he has won over. ~ Ghiaccio was fuming not specifically towards you, but at how the revelation has come too light a few days early for him to win this silly little wager he had with Melone. Now, he's like twenty dollars poorer. Like Prosciutto, he's nonchalant and chill about it. ~ Risotto is particularly happy for you because for once, you were happy and somewhat

having a normalcy he has craved for you to have ever since he had kept you in La Squadra as a family member instead of an assassin. On the surface he's unfazed, but inside he is supportive and thankful you were happy. ~ Overall, they're all just supportive of you.

[blossom-hwa]

could i request seungmin + roommates to lovers :0!!! i love ur writing sm keep up the great work ♡

Absolutely!! Thank you for request and for your kind words <3

Stray Kids drabble game: send me a Stray Kids member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you! (CLOSED)

~

Title: Head Over Heels (You Just Don’t Know It)

Pairing: Seungmin x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 598

Triggers: cursing, mentions of alcohol

~

“You so have a crush on Seungmin.”

“Hyunjin, your voice is starting to get really annoying.” You cross one arm over your chest, rolling your eyes. “I do not have a crush on my fucking roommate, understood?”

“I would say ‘all right’ and let it be, but you know I can’t let lies go.” Hyunjin’s noncommittal shrug is almost audible through the phone - you can hear it in the stupid brief pause following his words. “You’re head over heels, you’re just also too afraid of screwing up your current relationship to say shit.”

“How many times do I have to say -”

“You called me in a panic yesterday when he brought you food from your favorite takeout just because he saw you weren’t feeling good,” your best friend interrupts. “Remember that? All ‘what the fuck am I supposed to do in response, he’s too nice, do I buy him takeout in return or what?’”

“Okay, but that doesn’t mean anything,” you snap. “I’ve always been bad at returning gestures!”

Hyunjin snorts. “Believe me, I know. But I also have recordings of a drunk you waxing poetic about how orderly and perfect Seungmin is, even when he’s being a shit little tease about everything.”

You groan. “Hyunjin, stop talking right now -”

“And that also happened to be the same night Seungmin had to pick you up from my apartment because you were too wasted and when he got here you literally fell into his arms - it took me three years to build up to that level of trust and here you are giving it out in less than six months -”

“Wait, back up.” You frown. “When the fuck did that happen? I don’t remember that.”

“Of course you didn’t, you were wasted.” You can literally hear Hyunjin’s stupid evil grin through the phone. “I have pictures though.”

Your phone pings, signaling several texts with images attached from one Hwang Hyunjin, whom you’re seriously considering disowning as your best friend. “Why were you taking pictures of me when I was drunk?”

“Blackmail.”

The expletive waiting to leave your lips in reply dissolves the second you open the first attachment to see your cheek pressed up against Seungmin’s sweater-covered chest, eyes half shut but open just enough to see the expression in them as you look up at your roommate in a drunken daze. 

No. Absolutely not. You do not have the brainpower or the will to decipher whatever the fuck was in your eyes that night. Fingers shaking, you go to leave the messaging app but then your hand slips and suddenly you’re looking at a second picture with your eyes fully open and staring straight at Seungmin, who is looking back but you can’t figure out his expression because all of your attention is focused on the stupid, dumb, lovestruck look in your own gaze - 

Lovestruck. 

Oh. 

Oh, fuck. 

“Oh my god.” Your words are barely a whisper. “Oh my fucking - Hyunjin, oh my mcfucking god -”

“I’m waiting,” Hyunjin sing-songs. 

You stare at the picture a little longer. Your likeness doesn’t stare back - it stares at Seungmin, lovely responsible Seungmin who sometimes teases a little more than he should but also respects all of your boundaries, wonderful amazing Seungmin who has black hair that you like to run your hands through during movie nights and he’s too sleepy to worm out of your hold - 

Your heart sinks lower and lower in your chest as you utter your next words. 

“Oh my god, Hyunjin, I’m in love with my roommate.”

[avpdrecovery-old]

very suspicious minds

at the heart of the suffering with avpd is suspicion. suspicion of the world around us, the people around us, their actions and what they means for us and potentially our safety. every micro-expression, unconscious body language is taken apart and evaluated.

in my case, it is from here that everything else fans out. avoidance, hypervigilence, anxiety to do the simplest things such as run errands, talking on the phone, sending job applications, interacting with people, epecially new people... at the core of it all is the suspicion that nothing is as it seems. that there is some plot i am unaware of and need to stay away from.

pre-avpd, i was still a child, i never thought i was important enough or had done anything egregious enough to warrant anyone “plotting” against me. it just didn’t make sense. i was not a bully, i was not popular enough to warrant jealousy from other kids. i was just average and had no enemies to speak of, who does at eleven?

i think it is because of this (and my trigger, explained here) that my mind grew overly suspicious of everyone and everything. if there had been something to explain the behaviour of my bullies, outside of the fact that they just didn’t like me, i think i would have been able to stomach it better, i don’t know. but there was no reason behind their bullying, which meant from then on, my brain was going to watch out and try to protect me from anyone and everything. whether i liked it or not.

it is normal to be nervous when interacting with new people, whether we’re kids or grown ups. after all as humans, we natually do not want to be rejected or abandoned by the group. as a “former” extrovert i still remember the thrill of walking up to kids on the playground or at family gatherings excited that i had found someone to play with. however, the thrill/fear that i felt then was small and didn’t stop me from interacting, i just pushed through it. and even if there was rejection and they didn’t want to play, the rejection didn’t linger, i would simply find someone else, or play on my own in the meantime.

however, post-avpd, my mind has never been the same and it started slowly. after that summer, we moved again and i changed schools again. i remember telling myself that this time things would be different, after all i had finally left those insufferable girls behind me. in fact i remember walking up to them, after all that had happened, and telling them that i would be moving away soon and wouldn’t have to deal with their bullshit anymore. lil eleven year old me actually told off her bullies, can you imagine?!

anyway, the new school full of new kids was upon me, but i just couldn’t stop the programing that was suddenly running in the back of my brain. suspicion.exe had been started and there was no way to turn it off. every friendly face i encountered felt like it might be hiding a smirk, like it might just be a ploy to get me to let my guard down. after all, exactly that had just happened and it had nearly cost me my life. how was i to know what was genuine and what was a plot? i kept my guard up and slowly turned cold.

i’m sure puberty hormones as well as age played into this as well, but i also became extremely fearful of humiliation and embarassment. not exactly the best thing when you’re at an age where you’re supposed to be learning to make mistakes, grow up and do many things for the first time. but mistakes = embarassment and potential for humiliation. and that meant possible rejection, abandonment or even worse, so the avoidance slowly crept in. i started avoiding other kids, activities, places, etc... unless i was 100% sure i would be safe somehow.

my mother said she observed me, the playground aficionado and lover of swings and slides everywhere, back away from one and insist on going home when i saw a group of kids there. this had been unheard of before, but she just assumed i was growing older and didn’t want to play childishly anymore. little did she know that everything had become a potential trap for humiliation to me, speaking to other kids, speaking to boys, saying something in class, etc...

a few years after that, i viscerally remember being afraid to order something from mcdonalds on my own. this is coming from someone who had spent every visit as a child in those god forsaken ballpits. but suddenly, i just couldn’t, couldn’t even go inside the restaurant. just picturing myself going to mcdonalds, set me off and made me feel ill. if it hadn’t been for a friend who unknowingly gave me a tutorial on how to do it, i would never have stepped foot in one ever again.

making friends became hell, because i seemingly couldn’t read people anymore, couldn’t decide whom to trust and whom not to. in fact, pre-avpd trust had never even crossed my mind. we either got along or we didn’t. if we did we were friends, otherwise we weren’t, no hard feelings. now, i suddenly found myself trying to figure out whom it was even safe to even talk to and whom not. all the while suspicion.exe rattled away in my brain, constantly making me feel i was in danger. looking back, i can say that every friendship i have ever had since (an they are not many), has been somewhat onesided from my end. i never revealed my true feelings, fears and problems, since those too were potential sources of humiliation. and i didn’t trust anyone enough to not use that against me. even though i had several bffs during my teen years, girls with whom i hung out one on one for years on end, i can say that non of them knew what was actually going on in my head, because i never told them. i wore a mask, a mask that was essentially me but watered down, and nothing real ever came to the surface. in fact this level of trust, that you could just tell your friend what you are really thinking and feeling or whom you have a crush on or some other secret thing, is alien to me now that i think about it.

a lot has happened since then obviously, i’ll probably return to this subject again, to explain how suspicion has affected me since. but i can sadly say that that programing is still running today. with other settings of course, but it’s still there. i should also add, none of this was conscious. i was doing all these things, but i wasn’t even aware. only in looking back am i able to connect the dots like this.