#it's just so bad compared to the original

[khorneschosen]

Read the bottom first. If you do, none of this matters. I write as I read to help keep each topic in focus. I came to a conclusion that changed everything. Please read the bottom parts first.

You should really read the citations you gave me. Many of the citations given do not actually report what the article says they do, or they are just the game of journalistic telephone.

This is why I keep jokingly saying "enjoy not reading this" because if you don't read the citations you give me, or whats the fucking point? It's why I find the process pointless.

This will be the last citation I accept or give unless you can go through your article and give me the actual data sheet in question. Because a secondary source is dog shit typically, and to be in good faith you should point to the primary source, and its data tables.

Drowning someone in citations you refuse to read yourself in my opinion is a very, very bad faith tactic. It's a gish gallop.

And I want to remind you, logically this argument has nothing to do with my position on a particular subject. I could have ignored it outright and be in good faith to do so. I chose not to, because as I said, it is best to deal with the strongholds or the essentials and fundamentals of your political ideals. This is a benevolence that I engage with, as it logically does not connect to the original claim you proposed to challenge, that I could excuse murder of women. You will need to make your case as to why this is logically sound to be relevant.

Because you asked for a citation but no citation can be on par with my education on the subject. I could cite a great deal many books which point to the irrational base of feminism.

But I decided to point to the fact that all post modern philosophy is defined by its rejection of reason as its philosophical basis. It's what makes a philosophy post modern.

Name a feminist who rejects patriarchy theory and I'll be happy to agree that it's not a monolith. Even irrational philosophies need foundations to their belief structures. That is monolithic even if the monoliths are small to the philosophy they are everything. The blige can be safely ignored if you know what is the actual foundation.

Such as patriarchy theory, such as the marx's view of class conflict between men and women. (That there can never be true equality because men and women as a class have contradictory class interests), the rejection of reason, and so on. These are essentials to feminism.

While we are here, how does feminism come to the duluth model of domestic violence, which claims all domestic violence is an act of patriarchal oppression? How does it come to that conclusion?

Not slow, but inherently flawed. And seeing as how we are comparing for profit vs government run Id point out the failures of the dutch and canadian systems use of suicide as a cost cutting measure, the nhs complete collapse so much so that the for profit system is effectively the only one, the slavery of the cuban system. The errors of these systems cannot be on par with the free market solutions that had previously existed or that are being chosen increasingly in these systems.

Furthermore as I pointed out if you want a comparison you'll actually have to compare the older systems as ours is being purposely sabotaged currently and has been for a few decades now. It can not be called for profit when what it is, is so tightly regulated that it is all but nationalized.

======================================

This part is important to the bottom as well.

I'm pointing out my own nature, that I am emotional, as are you. We both have the capacity for emotion and I am not dispassionate about what I argue for. I am not appealing to your emotion, I am claiming its existence.

Also, has your dispassion allowed you to know "these are the standards my argument rests on" or "this would disprove these standards, foundations, or my argument"? Because you still don't have an answer.

You need an answer btw, because having no falsifiability, is worse than wrong, it's completely invalid. I believe you when you say you don't know, but you need to know the standards even if only you do.

Placing your trust in science or the scientific method, isn't btw a standard. It's an negation of your standards, because you are placing it on faith in academia.

Especially because academia has increasingly been dropping its standards over the years. There is a competency crisis, a verification crisis, and a fraud crisis in academia.

The peer review process is breaking down and when it comes to repeatability when tested it is increasingly failing to validate the many papers published. Worse than that you see on departmental levels, that factors other than truth are ruling them. Such as the cases for those who post studies that aren't friendly to the current political parasites of academia. In short, academia is burning its own creditability down. The standards it has for its own validity are being destroyed by itself.

I understand the standards of whether I am right or wrong. Existence exist. That standard is what cements everything else.

It's why my self improvement is so purposeful and directed. Because with every question and issue I have a standard to weigh what I give that issue. The inexplicable becomes known. The chaos of philosophy and life becomes ordered and manageable.

======================================

This is the part I hope you read.

I want to talk to you about something. Something I hope you will listen to because I only offer it when I think Im talking to someone who will listen and understand and Ive spent so long waiting for someone who might listen and understand. Understand I would post only this if I thought it would go better. Because nothing matters to me as much as this. You have been honest and I will be honest the only way I know how, fully. I know I can't ask for good faith but I can beg for it and I will beg because I don't want this, a chance, to pass me by. A chance to correct an error I made so long ago.

Do you know, or atleast believe me when I tell you, that knowing my own standards, makes me happy? Happy in a way I can't describe fully. I stand stronger, feel fuller, think clearer, and act as I know I should? I feel perfect, in a way that doesn't come from ignoring all my many flaws but knowing I can now correct them. It's an unbreached rationality, without any contradictions or conflicts to bar my path. That so long as I walk it knowingly that nothing can or would stop me. That's what I feel.

You by your own words do not feel this way, and I think you are telling me because you recognize that you should atleast be able to name the demon that haunts you. That in naming it down to the core you can finally fight it. You know you need the standards to weigh the truth not just in a debate but in life. And yet your depression makes it seem like claiming to know the standards would be self destructive. Like it would harm your purity of thought, and process you do to understand. And like me to understand is so important it can't be put off, we have to know. Like you are placing too much importance in your mind. You shouldn't have ever felt ashamed for that. I am saddened to see you have. Not disappointed, saddened. You shouldn't have ever been made to feel that way about your life or thinking.

I think you see science and think as I do about it. As the great tool and means to drive civilization forward. You know the standards involved.

You also know the standards of the scientific process. Rationality, empiricism, both tested by repeatability and peer review. If one finds fault with the peer review it is because that have made a logical error, or have contradicted someone elses conclusions while not disproving them. Repeatability because in science what they discover is reality's entities and how they interact, and because we live in a rational universe, those entities interact in predictable ways, because reality is firm and knowable by us.

Those are the standards I live by, and I think you do too. I want you to live those standards fully. This is all I have ever wanted from any discussion. The standard being, existence exists. That reality exists and we can know it, that being reason. I am asking you to practice fully rationality. Not in contradiction to emotion as emotion too has its own standards and it is important.

I can't help you with the hardest part of all of this. To see and have the strength to accept it because it's demanding but only in the way that breathing is, or your heart beats are. Our heart beats every second we live without rest, without lapse, without error and every second of our life. It's hard and demanding but the heart does it. And to live in reason, is as demanding and hard but the only course forward just like a heart beat.

I can show you the path and the way forward. To give you the words and show you the nature of the contradictions you will encounter. That is invaluable but the hardest parts will be fought alone. I say this not to warn you but prepare you. I can only help you to work it out and come to your own conclusions. I can't give you the virtue you'll need, but that I think you have.

You wanted a citation earlier for the irrationality of feminism, because I don't think you could believe it. That standard is the standard most at play in the world. From the Christians, to the socialists, to the racists and the many ivory halls of academia.

I think you couldn't accept that kind of standard because you know it is wrong. To be irrational is to accept the stupid, the pointless and the incorrect.

I don't want you to have to go through the beating they will give you to make you accept irrationality. Not a beating that is fast aggressive and violent. But slow, grinding, and hopeless in its torture. It will be like walls slowly moving to crush you. Nothing will stop those walls save to escape the torturous prison they put you in.

Irrationality, is the standard of our culture, colleges, and what rules so much of what makes existing in this kind of world so hard and depressing. But you never had to suffer. You shouldn't have ever been made to suffer.

Reject it. They don't deserve the faith you give them as a substitute for the conviction of your own mind.

I will emphasize here I am not telling you to reject science but that you know the standards for it, and they are failing them by the adoption of irrationality. If and when they are right you will have the tools to know it. This is not science denial but to be more demanding of the academic process, that it live up to your idea of what academia should be.

I have spent 3 hours writing this part alone. I have made sections I thought were important to this. I hope it helps. You don't have to answer me, or answer me here I only hope you read and understand. That is all. Thank you for your time.

And how many children are without a parent because of denied medical care, homelessness, police brutality, etc.

If you're going to use "but they have children", be consistent.

[atlabeth]

(please) spare me indignity

pt 3

pairing: spencer reid x fem gideon!reader

summary: you and spencer spend more time together. it's bad, then it's good, then it's something else altogether.

a/n: continuing the gideon!reader series! a whole lot of this is arguing because they love each other fr. sorry this took so long, for some reason i had a really hard time finding my footing here but i hope you enjoy!! reader is a victim of the sassy man apocalypse bc this may be s1/2 spencer but he is not going to not be standing up for himself!! have this new banner that i made to try and help with my inspiration. title is from nothing new by rio romero

wc: 5k

warning(s): r and spence argue some more. angst, hurt w/o comfort, then hurt with comfort! idk theyre kinda sweet

You and Spencer spend the next six and a half hours watching movies. 

You make it through Goodfellas and you only tell him to be quiet twelve times. You take a break to get water and make popcorn, which was so generously provided in your grocery supply, and while you’re doing it, Spencer insists on picking the next one. You end up watching Psycho, and you don’t think he lets a single scene go by without explaining the meaning behind it. 

You choose Notting Hill after, and he knows just as much. He picks Halloween—it doesn’t really help your stalker anxieties, and Spencer apologizes profusely when you bring it up, but you still end up finishing it. Next you go for Pointe Grosse Blank, then Spencer picks Kolya, a Russian film that he specifically put into the box. 

There are subtitles, but he spends half the time translating for you anyway—apparently there are nuances to the script that an English translation doesn’t get compared to the original Russian, and that would be a tragedy. 

He’s in the middle of his third rant going on seven minutes when you finally break. 

“Okay,” you say as you reach for the remote, “I can’t do this anymore.”

You do a double take when your hand meets another instead of hard plastic, and you see Spencer beat you to it. You pull your hand away as soon as possible, feeling your face heat from annoyance.

“What are you doing?”

“What are you doing?” he echoes. “The movie’s not over yet.”

“I can’t take any more of your rambling,” you say. “I’m cutting you off.”

He frowns. “We have to finish the movie first.” 

“What are you, a broken record?”

“I couldn’t be a broken record because I said two different things,” he protests. “Besides, what else are you going to do?” 

“Unpack my things? Read a book? Sit in silence staring at the wall in my room?” You shrug as you stand up and walk over to the kitchen. “I’ve got a lot of options.” 

“Gideon told me not to let you out of my sight,” Spencer says, standing up as well. 

“You can see me pretty well from there,” you say. “You don’t have to invade every bit of my privacy.” 

“I— I kind of do,” he says. “The whole point of a safe house is to keep you safe. If you’re off doing your own thing, it’s not really safe.”

“It’s not like I’m leaving!” You throw up your hands in exasperation. “What, are you going to sleep with me too? Make sure I don’t go anywhere in the middle of the night?” 

It’s almost funny how fast his face flushes bright red. You’ve got a feeling he doesn’t have a lot of experience with this sort of thing. 

“That’s what I thought,” you say. “Keep watching your movie if you want. Just leave me alone.” 

You feel his eyes on your back as you storm off to your room. The childish part of you wants to slam the door, but you decide to throw Spencer the smallest bone and leave it open. 

It’s not his fault that you hate him, and that just makes you hate him even more. He gets to come out of this the bigger person, a saint for putting up with your various deficiencies while keeping you safe from a stalker. You’re just the difficult, ungrateful, estranged bastard daughter of the most deified man in the Behavioral Analysis Unit who can’t set her personal grudges aside for her own good. 

You shove your duffel bag into the bed with a little too much force. You unzip it, deciding to try and occupy yourself with unpacking. You’re here for the indefinite future, so you might as well make yourself at home. 

You can’t help the dry laugh that comes at the thought. You don’t know if you’ve ever felt at home anywhere. 

This might be the worst thing about this whole situation. You’ve got a stalker out there, and it’s making you do all this bullshit introspection against your will. It’s got you thinking about your dad and your relationship with him, and thinking about Spencer Reid and how he’s replaced you in your father’s life without even really knowing about it because he didn’t know about you until he walked into your dad’s office a month ago.

Ten minutes pass in a blur before you’re knocked out of it by a rapping on your door. You turn to see Spencer standing in the doorway, expression unreadable.

“What?” you ask.

“You’ve been quiet,” he says. “I’m just checking in.”

“I’m still alive,” you say. “Nothing exciting happened in the five seconds I was gone.”

“It was ten minutes and thirty two seconds, actually,” he says. “But— but good.”

Again, more silence passes between you. You look up at him from your pile of clothes after thirty seconds. 

“Are you just going to stand there?”

“I— I don’t know what else to do,” he stammers.

“Didn’t you say you did something like this before?” you ask. “Guarded some girl from her stalker?”

Spencer nods. “She was a lot easier to get along with.”

You roll your eyes. “Somebody out there wants to kill me to get back at my dad. Sorry that I’m not the pinnacle of happiness.” You make a point to avoid his gaze. “But what I’m trying to say is that you’ve done this all before. You should have some kind of idea of what to do besides bothering me.”

“How am I bothering you?” Spencer asks in exasperation. “I’ve said three sentences to you!”

“Everything you do bothers me, boy genius,” you say. “I thought you would have figured that out by now.” 

“I—” He looks like he wants to say more, but instead he just clamps his mouth shut and shakes his head before he walks away. 

You stare down at your pile of clothes, largely unfolded and scattered around the bed. The silence doesn’t give you the satisfaction you thought it would. 

It only lasts for all of thirty seconds though, and you don’t have time to linger in the discomfort—you hear footsteps, heavier ones this time, and you look up to see Spencer round the corner once again. 

“What is your problem with me?” he blurts out. 

You frown. “Excuse me?” 

“You heard me,” Spencer nods. “You hate your dad, fine— but he’s not here for you to fight with, so you’re taking it out on me. It’s classic displacement, and you don’t get to take it out on me.”

“Why not?” you ask. 

“Because it— it’s not fair!” he sputters. “I didn’t do anything to you— I didn’t even know you existed until a month ago!” 

“Well, gosh, boy genius,” you say, “I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure it out yourself.”

“Stop calling me boy genius!” he exclaims. “We’re the same age!”

“Then stop acting like one,” you retort. “I know you’ve got a psychology degree, but you don’t need to use them on me whenever you can.” 

He frowns, his mouth opening for a second before he closes it. 

“Were you going to ask how I knew that before you realized the obvious answer?” you ask. 

“No,” he says. 

“Yes, you were.” You continue folding your clothes. “You went to Caltech, MIT, and Yale, even though it was your safety school. You’ve got three PhDs, two BAs, and you’re working on a philosophy degree, but you’re not done with it yet.” You shrug. “A little difficult to make it to classes with all the FBI stuff.” 

“…Does he really talk about me that much?” Spencer’s voice is quieter than it was before. 

“Oh, yeah,” you say. You set a finished pair of jeans to the side then look at him. “I graduated from college too. Granted, it was a couple years ago, not when I was 17, but I think it still warrants a little support.”

“You went to George Mason,” Spencer says. 

Your movements stutter. You weren’t expecting him to actually know.

“Yeah,” you say. Your heart skips a beat. “How do you know?”

Has he talked about you to the team before? Sure, they didn’t know you existed before you showed up out of the blue, but maybe he showed them a picture after it happened. Your mom carries one of you in your cap and gown in her wallet—maybe he got a hold of one and Spencer caught a glimpse of that. Maybe you just missed it and he does have a picture of you on his desk. Maybe—

“You have a sweatshirt for it,” he says with a gesture. You look where his finger is pointing, and sure enough, your GMU sweatshirt is tangled up with a couple of other crewnecks.

“…Of course,” you say. You don’t know why you even dared to hope. “Because it’s more likely that you’d notice something like that than it is for my dad to talk about me.”

Spencer says your name, and you hate the sympathy in it. 

“No.” You cut him off before he can get any further. “Don’t try to defend him. You know,” you huff a cold, humorless laugh, “he missed my graduation, too. Two separate dates for commencement and my actual school’s ceremony, one 45 minute car ride, and he couldn’t make it to either one.”

“You don’t know how busy we are,” Spencer tries again. “We work weekends and holidays and around the clock— sometimes we get called in at 3am to stay in some random town for weeks at a time, and there’s nothing we can do about it! I— I mean, we’ve had three days off in the past 47 days and—”

“That’s why I have a problem with you!” you cry out, throwing the shirt in your hand onto your bed as you turn to face him. “Because I’m twenty-four years old, and I’ve lived an hour away from my dad for the past six years, but his team that he spends all his time with didn’t even know I existed until I showed up at your office.” You take a step forward, anger resurging inside of you. “Because I threw away a chance at an Ivy to get to see him more, just to deal with the same bullshit as usual. Because I worry about him dying every single day he’s in the field, and he can’t even give me a phone call at the end of it all—” another step forward— “and even in the middle of this shitshow, you think you have a right to defend him— to- to tell me how to feel about him!”

You move even closer, close enough to see his wrinkled button-up is partially untucked, his lips are slightly parted, and his stupid doe eyes—that haven’t left yours—with his stupid dilated pupils, and you jab your finger in his chest. 

“Because all I ever wanted is my father’s affection,” your voice breaks, and you hate the way it makes you feel, “and he’d rather build an entirely new life with an entirely new kid than give it to me.” 

You push your way past him, making sure to shoulder-check him on your way out. You don’t look back as you forge your way to the bathroom (that you unfortunately have to share), even though his gaze burns into your back. 

You close and lock the door. It’s childish, you know, but you need to be alone right now. You can’t stand to be around him.

Spencer just— he irritates you in a way that no one else ever has. He’s your age and more accomplished than you could ever dream to be, with almost six times the degrees and a much better job, and probably a family that loves him. Who wouldn’t love him with everything he’s done?

You, apparently.  

You plant your hands on the countertop as you stare into the mirror. Your usual dark circles have become more pronounced over the past month, and you can’t help a wry laugh at the thought. All that trouble sleeping and it was for the wrong damn reason. 

If you knew someone was watching you, you would have moved out of Virginia months ago. But maybe this bastard would have found you anyway. If Spencer’s profiling is right and he’s going after you because of your dad, you don’t think much could really dissuade him. 

Tears pool at your waterline, and you wipe them away with a rough hand before they can manifest into something more. You slump back against the opposing wall as you continue to stare at yourself. 

You’re pathetic and you can’t even find it in yourself to care. 

You hear the sound of footsteps once more and you wrap your arms around your midsection. This chill won’t go away. 

“…Are you still alive?” a hesitant voice calls. 

You bite back a remark. “I’m fine.”

“You’re sure?” 

“No.” You don’t know what makes you answer honestly. 

A beat of silence passes. You really do feel like a kid. You’re talking to him through the door because you just yelled at him and Spencer is still being the bigger person. 

“Can I help at all?”

This answer comes a little quicker. “No.”

Again, more silence.

“Okay.” Spencer pauses, and the footsteps start again. His voice is a little closer the next time he speaks. “Just… let me know when you’re turning in. So I know you’re still alive.”

You huff. He can’t even stick to his guns and hate you like you hate him for ten minutes. “I don’t think I’ll be dying anytime soon.”

“You never know,” he says. “Spontaneous human combustion might not be proven beyond pseudoscientific concepts, but there’s a first time for everything.”

The laugh that comes out of you is unexpected, both in its lightness and occurrence at all. “Keep an ear out for the smoke alarm, then.”

“If you smell anything burning, stop, drop and roll,” he says. “Make sure you don’t run. All it’ll do is add to the oxygen and feed the fire.”

“Okay,” you say. “…I still don’t like you.”

You swear you can hear the smile in his words. “I know.” 

-

You wake up when the smoke alarm goes off. 

It’s a very rude awakening. It jolts you out of your very uneasy sleep to unfamiliar surroundings—in your disoriented state, you almost forget where you are. 

Right. You’re in a safe house in the middle of nowhere because someone is stalking you. How could you possibly forget?

You stumble out of bed, rubbing your eyes to try and assuage some of your exhaustion as you leave your room. 

“Is the place on fire?” you ask through a yawn. 

“No!” Spencer exclaims, sounding more panicked than usual. That straightens your back and speeds your pace. “No, everything’s fine—” 

You smell smoke, and as you come around the corner, you see him waving his hands overtop the toaster trying to dispel said smoke. You can’t help but laugh, and you actually smile when he gives you the most helpless look. 

“I’m so good at so many other things.”

“What are you trying to do?” you ask wryly. “Burn this house down to try and get a better one?” 

“This wouldn’t have started a fire,” Spencer says. “Toaster fires usually spread because they’re below wooden cupboards, which catch easily and spread everywhere else.” He gestures at the toaster, which he has plugged in to an outlet on the side of the island. “No cupboards, no house fire.”

“You started this because you were making toast?” you ask. 

He flushes. “I’m used to the toaster I have at home. I have the settings worked out perfectly there. This one is all wrong.” 

You sigh and shake your head. “Just… hit the reset button, and open the door. It’ll be fine.” 

“I can’t open the door,” he says. “It goes against the safety thing.”

“Then open a window.”

“Making it easier to get in here in any way goes against the safety thing,” he says. 

“So we have to just deal with the smoke?” you ask in exasperation. 

Spencer hits the vent button on the microwave, and the fan whirs into action. “No?”

You shake your head in disbelief as he then reaches up to hit the button on the smoke alarm. His t-shirt lifts with the movement—your eyes drift to the bare strip of skin, and you immediately look away when you realize. 

“Where’s the coffee in here?” you ask, clearing your throat as you start sifting through drawers. “I’ll be even worse to deal with if I don’t have caffeine.” 

“I already brewed a fresh pot,” Spencer says, gesturing with his head. “Half and half is in the fridge, and sugar is in the cabinet.” 

“Oh,” you say. You stop what you’re doing, your hands lingering above the drawer handle. “You didn’t have to do that.” 

You see him shrug out of your peripherals. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Because I was a total asshole to you last night, you want to say. Because I’ve been awful to you since I met you and you refuse to fight back and give me a better reason to hate you. 

“Because you didn’t need to,” you finally say. Good one. 

“I did. So you’re going to have to deal with it.” Spencer takes the burnt toast out and throws them in the trash can, talking while he does it. “You know, it’s actually a rumor that burnt toast contains carcinogens and can increase the chance of cancer. Acrylamide forms when you burn food, but researchers haven’t found a link between starchy foods with high amounts of acrylamide and cancer.” 

You hum in some form of acknowledgement as you take a mug out of the cabinet and fill it from the pot. You take a sip and grimace—it’s not the best, but it’s caffeinated. After three years of shitty gas station coffee throughout college, you can deal with it. 

“How did you sleep?” Spencer asks. 

“Fine,” you say. 

He frowns. “Really?” 

“Yes,” you say, a little rougher. “The dark circles come with the model.” 

“There are a lot of causes other than sleep deprivation,” Spencer says. “Contact dermatitis, hyperpigmentation, dehydration, alcoholism, stress—” 

“Got plenty of that,” you interrupt. 

“Even genetics can play a part in it,” he says. 

You huff. “I think this is one thing I can’t blame my dad for. I haven’t slept since the nineties.”

“Well, you should try,” Spencer says. “The blood vessels around your eyes don’t constrict like they should when you’re sleep deprived, which means your blood vessels dilate, which increases blood in the area, and that gives you dark circles.”

“Wow,” you say wryly. “I really look that bad with them?” 

“I— that—” Spencer’s face flushes red as he stutters, and you hide the slightest smile with your mug— “that’s not what I mean! I’m just trying to give advice to help—” 

“I know.” You set your mug back down, not able to fully bite back your amusement. “I was joking, Spencer.” 

“Oh,” he says. “That’s… new.” 

“Am I not allowed to joke?” 

“It just doesn’t seem like you,” Spencer says. “Especially after last night.” 

“I’m too tired to fight with you right now,” you sigh. “Enjoy your break.” 

He clears his throat as he takes two fresh pieces of bread out, then looks at your mug. “You drink it black?” 

“It’s not coffee if you don’t,” you say. “It— it’s a sugary mess.” 

“It is not!” he exclaims. “It still has the same amount of caffeine, and it’s still coffee—” 

“No it isn’t!” you laugh, and you nod at his mug. “How much sugar did you put in there?” 

“A couple spoonfuls but—” 

“Spoonfuls?”

“But it’s how I like it!” Spencer defends. 

“Don’t you have some facts about how harmful excessive sugar consumption is?” you ask. 

“Of course I do,” he says. “I also have some about the benefits of black coffee, but I’m not going to tell you now.”

“Wow,” you say. “I’m so hurt.” 

He shakes his head as he slots two more pieces of bread into the toaster. “And to think, I was trying to make breakfast for you.” 

Again, that gives you pause. Why does he keep trying to do nice things for you?” 

“Don’t bother.” You pick up your mug and go into the living room. “I don’t really eat breakfast anyways.” 

“That’s not healthy,” he calls after you. 

“Most things I do aren’t,” you respond. “What’s on the agenda today?” 

“Skipping breakfast puts you at a higher chance of heart disease,” he says. 

“Then I guess we won’t have to worry about the spontaneous combustion, will we?” You look back at him. “What’s on the agenda?” 

Spencer sighs. He’s given up momentarily, it seems. “Gideon’s going to call me in thirty-two minutes for an update. The whole team has been focusing solely on your case.” 

You perk up. The coffee warms your hands through the mug but it doesn’t fully assuage the chill down your spine. 

“Do they have any leads?” 

“I don’t know,” Spencer says. “Gideon hasn’t called me yet.” 

You roll your eyes. “Do you think they have any leads?” 

“Maybe.” The toaster pops and he pulls the bread out, then starts buttering it—or trying to. His brow knots in annoyance at the stick of butter, still hard, and he pushes his glasses up with his free hand. You have to look away. “Like I said, Gideon helped start the BAU. He’s solved more cases than anyone else, and,” you feel his eyes on you, “it’s personal this time. He’s probably working around the clock.” 

“Just have to hope they get somewhere,” you murmur. Your coffee tastes even more bitter than  usual, but you drink it anyway. 

“They will,” Spencer says. “I promise.” 

“Y’know, people keep making promises they can’t keep,” you say. “I’m getting real tired of it.” 

“Well, I’m not leaving your side until they do,” he says. “And I’m going to keep you safe. So consider that promise kept.” 

“Great,” you say. “I’m stuck with you until I die or this is solved.” 

“You’re not going to die.” 

“You don’t have to take everything I say so seriously.” 

“Then don’t say everything so seriously.” 

You huff a laugh and shake your head. Spencer comes over with his plate of messily buttered toast—not very easy with fully solid sticks of butter—and sits down across from you. He holds the plate out. 

“Want one?” 

“I told you, I don’t eat breakfast.” 

“You should.” 

“Because one piece of toast will make so much of a difference,” you mock. 

“It will,” he says. “Maybe it’ll even make you happier.” 

You roll your eyes and drink more of your coffee. “Are you going to bother me all day like this?” 

Spencer took a bite of toast then shrugged. “If you’re this blase about everything relating to your health, then yes.” 

You groan as you stand up. “It’s too early to deal with you. See you in a few hours.” 

“And good morning to you too,” Spencer says wryly. You make a parting gesture with your hand in response. 

It’s been a day and a half, and not only have you argued with him twice, but he still refuses to give you anything to work with, still insists on trying to be there for you. It’s as infuriating as it is gratingly admirable. Anyone else probably would have tried to kill you by now. 

Well, you’ve already got a stalker trying to do that. 

You sigh and down half your coffee. You’ve got a long day ahead of you. 

-

Spencer doesn’t know why you not liking him bothers him so much. 

It’s illogical, but it makes sense for you. Your dad spends more time with him than he does with you, and you’re projecting your hatred for Gideon onto Spencer. Whatever. 

But it’s not just whatever, and that irks him. 

This is an assignment, simple as that. Gideon trusted him enough to put you under his protection, even if it’s for your mental health more so than your physical. It should be a point of pride, being chosen for something like this by someone like Gideon.

Spencer presses his fingers against his temple. You’re a lot, there’s no way around it. But you also claim to hate him, and he knows that’s not true. 

Yes, you argue with him. Yes, you’re short with him. Yes, he lost his temper momentarily because not even Spencer is capable of endless grace. 

But he also sees your moments of lightness throughout it all. Your brief smiles, the quips that lean towards jokes more than insults—and he notices your eyes, and the brightness that breaks through on occasion. 

He always notices your eyes.

Spencer’s phone rings in his pocket, jolting him out of whatever reverie he found himself in. He pulls it out and flips it open, then presses it to his ear. “Gideon?” 

“Reid,” he greets. “How are you doing?”

“Fine,” he says. “You’re calling twenty-four minutes early.”

“We just finished a briefing,” Gideon says. “I wanted to get word to you as soon as possible.” 

Spencer sits up. “What is it?” 

“Morgan, Hotch, and Garcia have been working together to comb through my past cases and see what they’re up to now. They finally found a potential unsub,” he says. “Someone I put away a decade ago was released last year, and recent records indicate he’s back in the area.” 

“Who is it?” he asks. 

“Adam Hernandez. Also known as—” 

“The Stafford Strangler,” Spencer finishes. “He killed three people in two weeks in the 90s—classic spree killer. You caught him with David Rossi’s help.” 

“Released on good behavior, despite the victims’ families campaigning against it,” Gideon says. “You know it?” 

“Obviously,” he says. “I’ve read all of your old case files.”

Gideon chuckles, and he can almost imagine him shaking his head. “Of course you have.”

“Do you think Hernandez is your guy?” Spencer asks. 

“I’m not sure yet,” Gideon says. “We applied for a warrant—as soon as we get it, Morgan and Elle are heading his way to ask a few questions.” 

“You think he’d do something like this?” Spencer shifts his position as he frowns. “Hernandez got fired, lost his house, then went off the deep end. He killed because he didn’t see any other solution. The guy going after your daughter is a lot more emotional about all this, and—” his throat feels dry all of a sudden— “and it’s like he’s got some kind of attraction to her.” 

“You don’t need to remind me,” Gideon says roughly. “We’re going for leads where we can, and we’re still working every other angle. It doesn’t end with Hernandez.”

“...Good,” Spencer says. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help from here.” 

“You’re already doing everything I need you to do.” Gideon pauses, and he hears the creak of the chair in his office as he adjusts how he’s sitting. “How is my daughter doing?” 

“I don’t know,” he answers honestly. “Her mood changes with the wind. One second she’s trying to start a fight with me, the next she’s trying to joke around with me. It— it’s a lot, I won’t lie.” 

“But how is she handling all of this?” he asks. “Staying in the safe house, dealing with a stalker, feeling like a sitting duck.”

“Very cynically,” Spencer says. “She keeps talking about dying or getting killed.”

Gideon sighs. “That sounds like her.” 

“She’s… she’s mad at you, mostly.” Spencer picks at a hangnail, ignoring the sharp, temporary pain. “Every time I bring you up, it lights a fuse. You’re the one thing she hates to talk about.” 

There’s nothing but silence on the other end. 

“Gideon?” he asks. “Did I lose—” 

“I’m here,” he interrupts. “Just… thinking.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Spencer says. “She’s—” 

“It is my fault,” Gideon interrupts again. “Has she told you much about her younger life?” 

“...Some,” Spencer says. 

“Like?” 

Spencer doesn’t really know what to say. He doesn’t want to just tell Gideon that you’ve told him he’s been an awful dad. That it’s really all you’ve told him. 

“You can say it, Reid,” Gideon says. “I won’t get mad.” 

“...She says you’ve missed out on her whole life,” Spencer finally says, notably quieter. “Her high school graduation, her college graduation— most of the stuff that happened in college, actually.” 

Gideon lets out a rough sigh. “I’ll always regret it.” 

“So it’s true?” Spencer asks. He’s surprised at the sharpness of his voice.  

“I don’t get to control when cases come in,” he says. 

“We’re a whole team of qualified agents,” Spencer says. “We— we always have been. Especially when you and Rossi were together. It was like the golden age of profilers.” 

“Spencer—” 

“You made it to my graduation!” he interrupts. “You were there for my chemistry PhD, and you said you would be there when I get my philosophy degree, but you couldn’t make it for your only child’s high school and college graduations?” 

“I already told you I regret it,” Gideon says. His voice is as calm as ever, and for some reason, that irks Spencer even more. “What more can I say? It’s in the past now. I can’t change what I did.”

Spencer stares at the wall. He doesn’t know why this is such a damning thing to him. 

His own dad has missed all of his graduations. He’s missed almost every part of his life. But his dad walked out—he wanted nothing to do with Spencer or his mom. 

Your dad is right here. Gideon is still around, working every day to save lives and change the world and take down monsters—but he’s still not there for you. 

He’s so close and yet he always steps out of your reach. 

“Spencer.” Gideon’s voice is tinny through the speaker, and he presses his phone back against his ear. 

“Call me back the second you get another lead,” Spencer mutters. 

He hangs up without another word. 

[dunmeshistash]

Do you know where the “mithrun is the most grizzed masculine elf take” comes from. All I think about is the changeling thing but no one calls Marcille the most masculine elf for being ripped as an orc compared to Tade. Or that he trains a lot, which is also not an inherent masculine thing. To me Mithrun doesn’t really look different to any other (male) elf we see. Is it from the extra’s or something?

Yes that take comes from the changeling transformations of both Mithrun and Senshi. The joke is the Senshi is the "most femme dwarf" and Mithrun the "most masc elf" in contrast with how they look in their original forms

I do think the joke kinda got out of control in the game of telephone that fandom is, instead of a fun observation of how we might perceive Mithrun more feminine than he is and Senshi more masculine than he is due to our own biases based on their races it got taken way too seriously as "the only true and correct interpretation"

I don't think Mithrun is especially masculine or feminine when it comes to his personality, I understand some people have been peeved by others making him maybe too meek/girly compared to canon but I feel like the response of making him way more aggressive/manly than canon is just as inaccurate and it's kinda upsetting when I see "fandom vs (my interpretation of canon) canon" as if they're any more right for going to the extreme opposite

We don't really know if Mithrun is specially "masculine" for an elf either, the only elf that we know is especially "masc" is Otta, and we only know cause her bio says even elves mistake her for a man (I think for most of us she looks as androgynous as the others)

Here's a post discussing elf gender presentation more in depth if you're interested in the subject but all we know is that Mithrun works out a lot and is very muscular (which signals 'manlyness' for us but might not for elves) there isn't much that point out to him being especially manly or especially feminine compared to other male elves. He also has lost most of his desires and doesn't express his preferences much so I think it's safe to assume he doesn't really pick how he presents himself (clothing and such).

Other than that and being stoic (is that a super manly trait?) Mithrun is pretty average I think. He's also still super cute even as a tallman (as if looking manly would stop you from being cute)

But another trait of him that seem to make people read him as "super manly" it's that sometimes Mithrun is scary and aggressive, I'm not even going into why that's bad (correlating aggressiveness with manliness is uh…. not great….) not even to mention he only acts that way when he's triggered by wanting to take revenge on the demon, otherwise he seems to avoid hurting others.

Related to the "Mithrun is a super manly elf" take I've even seen people argue that drawing him looking too "cute" and small is incorrect (probably just because of his tallman self) but that's how Kui draws him herself.

I don't understand why correct others for drawing him the same way his creator does, he's designed to look this way, there's nothing to "fix" about his original design either (nothing wrong with drawing him in a way that appeals to you more tho, fanart is fanart just don't harass other people)

Anyway just to stress the point that he is very average let's compare him to Lycion and Pattadol

The average height for elves is 155 for males and 150 for females Mithrun is 155cm, Lycion is 170cm and Pattadol is 160cm, they're both taller and have a sturdier looking builds than Mithrun

Kui often draws Pattadol specially with a sturdier build than Mithrun actually

So no he's not the most buff biggest elf ever in any sense (although he IS a muscular elf), and I don't think the changeling transformations are too objective since they're magic. For example Pattadol as a human is pretty average even tho she's big compared to other elves (not to mention Senshi half-foot who has a huge beard that half-foots don't seem to be able to grow)

[jnnul]

the right side of wrong (part 3)

TAGS ▸ uhhh an accidental kiss, some fighting/sparring, sunghoon boxes bc i said so, stalking but you don't know that yet

PLAYLIST ▸ yosemite - travis scott, back - jey, stay - ari abdul, element - pop smoke, dirty laundry - blackbear

WORD COUNT ▸ 4.8k

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ so i've been sitting on this chapter for quite some time (motivation to finally post has come from @dojunie for updating the masterpiece misdial) and i originally wanted to include a lot more plot in this chapter but i figured that it would better to get it out than ruminate about the plot too much more. quick note: feedback, comments, etc. GREATLY encourage writers! if you felt any sort of way (in a good or bad way!) about this fic, pls leave feedback!

TAGLIST ▸ @hybeboyenthusisast

[march 19, 20XX, 12:19 P.M.] [copenhagen, denmark]

“teekl!” klarion exclaims, taking in his surroundings with a sneer. “i wanted to teleport to where y/n is! why’d you bring me to copenhagen?”

teekl meows, as if to rebuke klarion’s displeasure of being dropped in copenhagen - a place with beautiful scenery and fresh air, mind you - compared to the exact location of where y/n was, which was something that teekl was not only incapable of doing at the current energy levels that he was at, but also something that was difficult for klarion himself to do.

“if only i had her exact energy signature…,” klarion mutters under his breath, trying to hone in on y/n’s energy signature. he feels a quick zap against his skull, almost as if he’s made a breakthrough before it vanishes and klarion sighs.

“might as well take a cat nap, before i recharge and find that stupid runaway,” klarion says and teekl meows in almost malicious agreement. neither of them realize that they aren’t the only ones looking for her as felix faust slinks back into the shadows, the two of them never leaving his sight.

[march 19, 20XX, 12:27 A.M.] [mount justice, happy harbor, rhode island]

“let me get this straight and please, feel free to stop me at any point you think that this is batshit insane: you landed in ace chemical factory, and in your panic, you screamed at supersonic levels and everything around you shattered. after that, you didn’t want to be put in jail or whatever you thought was going to happen so you ran and wandered aimlessly around gotham before you ended up at the bank and met artemis. oh, and how could i forget, you didn’t know you could do that?” sunghoon recaps in an almost satirical voice, rubbing the outside of his ear, having just recovered his sense of hearing. y/n nods, somewhat sheepishly, having been pacified when yuna shin, the magician from the justice league, had been called in to fix the necklace using a spell. yujin sighs, rubbing her forehead as the two of them start to piece together what had happened that night.

“still doesn’t explain how icicle sr. managed to get from the yacht bridge to the bank in that time frame,” yujin says and y/n raises her hand hesitatingly.

“i don’t know if this is relevant but there was some guy wearing a huge parka in the middle of march that was riding down a huge…bobsled with ice that kinda appeared wherever he moved? i wasn’t sure if that was normal in this dimension so i didn’t say anything but they’re both icy,” she says, fidgeting with her hands. 

“did you see anyone else with him?” sunghoon asks, and y/n wracks her brain, trying to think if she saw anyone else that night.

“some really pale lady with spiky blue hair?”

yujin and sunghoon exchange a look before yujin groans, pulling out her phone to call belrev and let the maximum security prison wasn’t nearly as high security as they thought it was. 

“those three are all money hungry people who ally with each other every time they want to pull off a serious heist since they all use ice as their method of attack. they were probably all working together to pull off the yacht bridge incident,” sunghoon explains as a lightbulb goes off in his head. “that’s why we only saw shattered glass and nothing else. the ice probably melted by the time that we got there.”

“well that explains that. what that doesn’t explain is the canary cry. no one else in the justice league - or the injustice league, for that matter - has the canary cry. at least not since that impersonator was put into prison but even she couldn’t use the canary cry well enough to make stone break,” yujin says once she gets off the phone.

“right…” sunghoon turns to y/n, who’s fidgeting with the necklace in her hand. “do you mind if i look at that for a second?”

y/n stares at the necklace for a moment before handing it over somewhat reluctantly.

the necklace itself seems rather plain. it’s a gold necklace, with a single pearl dangling off of it but other than that, it had no identifiers to suggest why this necklace was so important to y/n.

“it was my mother’s,” she says softly and sunghoon hears yujin have to contain her gasp where she was standing. “it’s the only thing i have from her and the only thing that my father hasn’t tried to take from me when it comes to memories of my mom.”

that would explain the sentimental attachment.

sunghoon eyes the pearl, which seems to be dazzling in the light, even though there was very little in y/n’s room, as though it were exuding light, rather than reflecting it. well. unless pearls operated differently in y/n’s dimension (which, at this point, sunghoon couldn’t even say definitively that they didn’t), there was something about this necklace…

“you don’t know who exactly your mother is, right?” yujin asks and y/n nods, hands twitching as she watches sunghoon fidget with the necklace before he drops it back onto the nightstand. she snatches it up quickly, putting it back around her neck, seeming much more calm now that the necklace was on her.

“no. all i know is that my father and my mother went to the same high school and that i was born when they were both still in school, which is probably why i ended up with my dad instead of my mom,” y/n says, thumbing at the pearl. yujin exchanges a look with sunghoon, and this time, sunghoon is the one to leave the room, pressing buttons on a flip phone to call someone.

“look, i don’t want to give you any false hope or even give you any information that you don’t need right now,” yujin starts, taking a deep breath. y/n doesn’t say anything, just watching yujin as the taller girl gets up to start pacing around the room that suddenly feels surprisingly cramped.

“but with the cry and everything that she’s told us about how she discovered her powers and everything…we have good reason to believe that your mother is black canary.”

y/n’s breath comes out as a staccato as it catches in her throat.

“…and we don’t know if she knows you exist."

[march 19, 20XX, 1:02 A.M.] [mount justice, happy harbor, rhode island]

“what did the bat say?” yujin asks a disheveled looking sunghoon. the tall man just shakes his head, sitting down next to her on y/n’s bed, the owner of said bed watching him from the other side of the room on her beanbag chair.

“he can’t confirm or deny anything right now because black canary’s not in the u.s. right now. she’s out of the country on some top secret mission and cannot be called back under any circumstances,” sunghoon sighs and yujin’s eyebrows furrow.

“it took you half an hour to find out that we can’t get in touch with black canary?” 

“there were…other things. just alpha clearance level things,” sunghoon says and yujin immediately leans back. y/n’s eyes bounce back and forth between sunghoon and yujin before clearing her throat nervously.

“uh, what does alpha clearance mean?”

“it’s just our classification system to ensure that the information from the team and the justice league is kept safe,” sunghoon explains. “each person has a certain clearance level they request or are approved for. more than anything, it’s so that people in the league or on the team don’t bite off more than what they can chew.”

“for example, superboy has the lowest clearance level - level eight. we trust him with our lives and know that he’s the first person to run headfirst into danger if he felt that was right,” yujin starts and y/n nods slowly, following where yujin was going with her logic.

“but if someone who was that quick to action were to be given higher clearance knowledge, then it would be hard to reestablish which missions are his priority and which aren’t, since he would probably feel they were all important,” y/n continues.

“and while they are all important, some require more planning than brute force. it’s hard to explain that to someone when they’re already extremely emotionally invested in a mission,” sunghoon finishes.

“it’s really more about how emotionally detached someone can get from the mission to ensure that actions are being put in place for the greater good,” y/n summarizes and yujin and sunghoon both shrug.

“that’s one way of thinking about it. it’s like a chain of command, honestly. if something were to happen to me, there needs to be someone who would be next in the chain of command so that the team doesn’t get split into five different directions because five different people think that the team should operate differently,” sunghoon says and y/n nods, leaning backwards into the plushiness of the beanbag chair.

“is it alright that you’re telling me all of this though? i asked because i was curious - but i’m curious about a lot of things. things that are probably less confidential than the inner workings of how an espionage and covert operations team works,” y/n asks, and although her words would set sunghoon on high alert coming from anyone else, he feels strangely understanding when it comes from her.

which had implications that he wasn’t ready to think about just yet.

“well, if you want the truth, there’s two aspects to it: a) it’s in our best interest to be as honest with you as possible so that you can be as honest as possible with us to help us with stopping the light. and b) i’ve been having private conversations with various members of the team about you joining the team - if that’s what you want - and everyone’s on board with the idea,” yujin says, watching y/n’s reaction to this (what she thinks is, at least) bombshell of information. “that’s actually part of what sunghoon and i wanted to talk to you about before the whole canary cry situation.”

“join the team?” y/n repeats slowly, her posture growing more timid as she sinks even further backwards into the chair. sunghoon refrains from reaching forward to comfort her, for fear that he might scare her even more.

“it’s not an obligation and we’d definitely understand if that’s not something that you want. but we figured that we’d present the option to you whenever you’re ready. i think that you’d be a great addition to the team,” sunghoon says gently, his eyes never leaving y/n’s.

“you do? but i don’t have any combat experience; i’d just drag you all down and put you in danger,” y/n murmurs softly, and yujin catches the faint blush on her cheeks as her eyes dart to the floor for a moment’s reprieve from sunghoon’s gaze. cute.

“we all started from somewhere, y/n,” sunghoon reminds her.

“yeah. boy wonder’s the only one out of all of us who came out of the womb fighting,” yujin snorts, punching sunghoon in the shoulder. “and besides, i saw you hold your own in front of icicle and his stupid gang. anyone who can blast that frosty old snowball into a sedan is someone i want on my team.”

y/n smiles softly, her thumb rubbing over her knuckles as she’s lost in thought, weighing her options in front of her almost plainly on her face. sunghoon taps yujin’s knee slightly and the two of them get up from where they were perched on her bed and begin to make their way to the door to leave y/n to her thoughts.

“can i - could i, maybe, watch you guys train tomorrow? soojin said that you guys are training altogether tomorrow and maybe that’ll help me make a decision?” y/n asks and sunghoon’s nodding his head before he even fully processes the question.

“whatever you need, y/n. just be sure to bring an ice pack in case you decide to join the fight,” yujin says with a wink as she walks away. sunghoon rolls his eyes before shaking his head when he see’s y/n’s eyes widened with worry.

“she’s joking. you absolutely don’t need to spar with us to watch, y/n,” sunghoon says softly and he sees some of the tension in her shoulders visibly melt.

“thanks, sunghoon,” she murmurs back, getting up to close the door as sunghoon retreats as well, a small smile on his face.

sunghoon. he liked the way that his name sounded on her lips.

[march 19, 20XX, 9:52 A.M.] [mount justice, happy harbor, rhode island]

y/n winces as superboy crashes to the floor with a resounding thud. jay huffs as he lays on his back for just a moment, the mat sounding out a depressing ‘SUPERBOY - LOSS’ as he stares up at the ceiling.

“i’m getting really tired of getting beat up by people half my size,” jay groans as he accepts yujin’s hand as she hoists him up back onto his feet. 

“to be fair, yujin is pretty much your height,” jake points out, hand deep into a family size bag of chips. he was already well past his first defeat at the hands of his girlfriend and had wisely decided to spend the rest of training with some form of food shoved into his mouth.

“i don’t think that’s gonna make him feel better, kid. and he’s pretty tall,” soojin says but jay just shrugs.

“eh, i’ve only got two or three inches on her but if there’s anything i’ve learned from training with artemis and black canary, it’s that you should never judge a book by its cover. especially a girl. those are books you could read your entire life and never understand,” jay snorts, and soojin and yujin exchange an exasperated look when jake hollers out an ‘amen brother!’.

“i don’t know. i don’t think girls are really all that hard to understand,” sunghoon announces his presence, unwrapping the bandages on his knuckles as he joined the team in the sparring room. he was a boxing aficionado as of late and had taken to doing some boxing training in solitude before training with the rest of the team.

he’d tried to hook soojin and jake on it but soojin had incinerated the boxing gloves and jake had accidentally phased right though the sandbag. needless to say, boxing became more of a sport of solitude after that.

“of course our resident player says that; that’s how he gets all the girls to fall for him,” jake teases and sunghoon just rolls his eyes.

“i’m not a player.”

“says the man who hasn’t dated a woman for longer than three months at a time.” yujin crosses her arms over her chest as though she was daring sunghoon to challenge her statement.

“that doesn’t mean i’m a player.”

“can you count the number of women you’ve dated on all of your appendages?”

“does my tongue count?”

“gross.”

y/n’s eyes dart back and forth between yujin and sunghoon, and sunghoon is almost taken aback to the night before, with artemis and him going back and forth with their usual banter. ah. while the other members of the team knew to just ignore the two of them (or watch, if they wanted some entertainment for the day), y/n probably thought they were genuinely fighting. 

it wasn’t as though she had many friends to banter with and the ‘friends’ that she did have weren’t exactly the bantering type. sunghoon shudders as he tries to imagine vandal savage engaging in harmless banter.

“did you hurt yourself?” y/n says softly, nodding at sunghoon’s bandages that were balled up in his fist. he looks down, eyebrows furrowed before realization strikes him.

“oh no, these aren’t bandages because i’m hurt; these are wraps that boxers wear to keep their fists protected when they’re boxing,” sunghoon says and even jake (who’s usually the most oblivious one of them all) can sense the shift in sunghoon’s tone when addressing y/n. where sunghoon was prone to having a rather stoic first impression, he was soft and gentle when speaking to y/n.

my bet’s that they’re gonna kiss in the next three weeks,jake says through the mind link.

i’m going for four, jay contests. sunghoon tries not to make the indignant feeling bubbling in his chest too obvious on his face.

i wouldn’t put it past sunghoon, but i’m giving the girl two months. i don’t think she really understands how romance works, yujin points out.

she’s watched the notebook. she knows what romance is, soojin disagrees.

“are you guys having a conversation without me in your minds?” y/n asks, glancing between them, and the team belatedly realizes that the room had been silent for too long to be appropriate. especially not with sunghoon looking at the rest of them as though he wanted to throw something sharp and pointy at them.

y/n crosses her arms over her chest and for the first time, sunghoon saw sheer disappointment on her face. the look made his chest tight and for some reason, he really didn’t want to see that look on her face directed towards him ever again. ever. “i really can’t tell if that’s really cool or…really, really rude.”

“sorry, it was something really stupid,” yujin says, trying appease y/n. her expression doesn’t give any leeway, and soojin makes her way over to y/n to nudge her slightly.

“really, it was super stupid. but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t rude. sorry y/n. we’ve grown rusty with welcoming new people when all of us are together since we haven’t had a new member since…well, since yujin,” she explains and y/n finally uncrosses her arms and sighs.

“it’s fine - i mean, i get that you guys have a super important history together and i would never do anything to try and intrude on that,” y/n concedes. 

“look, i’m really sorry,” sunghoon says and y/n’s shoulders melt in the slightest when he does - something that doesn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the group.

“it’s okay. now - uh, who do i shoot with a fireball first?”

“i thought you were just watching?”

“what can i say? i’m all fired up.”

“you and i are going to get along just fine.”

“shut up, kid.”

[march 19, 20XX, 10:21 A.M.] [mount justice, happy harbor, rhode island]

“break - break! jesus christ, what have they been feeding you in that other dimension?” jake wheezes, pressing a hand to his chest as he tries to catch his breath. y/n blinks innocently from where she’s standing on the other side of the mat, looking rather unfazed by the whole experience.

“uh, human food, i’m pretty sure. no ovens or refrigerators, remember?” y/n points out and jake blinks, now on the other side of the room, mid-bite as he was scarfing down a 7,000 calorie protein bar made specially for him.

“it was a rhetoric question,” he says in between bites and y/n nods as though she were taking mental note. 

“right. uh - so who am i sparring next?” she says, awkwardly holding her hands out in the same position as she had done so before - effective, if jake’s wheezing is to say anything, but clearly off in practicality and skill.

“how about you spar with me?” sunghoon offers, casting his boxing gloves on the bench. he’d taken a break to watch y/n and see how she would adapt to a sudden situation where she could only rely on instinct rather than her underdeveloped pyretic skills, only to realize just how far behind she was in technical skill.

but if there was anything that her match with jake had indicated, what she lacked in technical skill, she made up for in sheer ability, with her ability to nearly predict what her opponent was going to do - even if said opponent was operating at superhuman speeds.

sunghoon figures that it’s a trauma response developed to sort of predict the behaviors of those around her in such an unpredictable environment. she also had a tendency to rely on her feet instead of her hands, which was a good thing when facing an opponent such as kid flash, who relies on his speed and arm skills and disadvantageous for pretty much everyone else.

“be careful, newbie. sunghoon’s undefeated against all of us except for yujin,” jay warns from where he’s also taking a break next to jake, soojin not far from him.

“i only beat him that one time he broke his leg,” yujin points out, but she’s quickly shushed by jake, who says something along the lines of, “don’t lose your street cred in front of your girlfriend.”

yujin, of course, lobs a sweaty towel at him shortly thereafter, but it was the thought that counted.

“should i be nervous?” y/n asks, and sunghoon shakes his head before stepping into the ring.

“don’t worry - i’m not trying to beat you or anything; i just want to correct a few small mistakes i’ve been seeing,” sunghoon explains gently, watching y/n’s worried expression melt off her face, although her limbs were still stiff with anticipation.

sunghoon steps one foot forward, to which y/n lunges backwards, wary and apprehensive of every move sunghoon made. “i’ m not going to hurt you, y/n.”

y/n nods, but it’s clear that she’s scared witless and sunghoon crosses his hands over each other to form a ‘t’ to indicate a time-out, casually walking forward towards y/n in hopes of making her feel more at ease.

but no sooner does he get within a foot of her does she lunge forward rather brashly, causing sunghoon to stumble backwards and toppling downwards - just barely saving himself by flipping over so that he was in a pushup position.

“get him while he’s down!” he hears yujin cry.

“i can’t believe a noob is about to beat sunghoon!” jake exclaims. 

“oh my god, i can’t watch,” soojin says, her fingers crossed in front of her face with enough space that it was clear her eyes were 100% still watching.

“i might have never been taught how to fight - ” y/n begins, sweeping at sunghoon’s arms so that he would fall. he just barely avoids it by rolling forward, crouched on the balls of his feet as he watches y/n carefully. “ - but i did learn a thing or two about how to stay unsuspicious.”

“i’ll give you that,” sunghoon concedes after standing up, dipping into a gentleman’s bow, twirling out of the way when y/n tries to take the moment to push sunghoon down. “but it’s not enough to take me down.”

“i don’t doubt it,” y/n admits, awkwardly holding her arms out in what it she deemed to be a ‘threatening offense’ as she carefully circled the fight space, mirroring sunghoon’s movements.

“you don’t seem very bogged down by the truth,” he remarks and a catty smile flashes across y/n’s lips before disappearing just as soon as it had appeared.

“you don’t seem to be very discontent in my inability to take you down,” y/n throws back lightly.

“how long are they going to keep doing that?” jay whispers to soojin, who still has her fingers spread across her face, her face strangely tinted pink rather than her usual pale pallor.

“keep flirting or keep fighting?” yujin snorts from the other side of jay, ducking out of reach when soojin leans over to push yujin.

“they’ll hear you!” soojin shushes and jake rolls his eyes with a goodnatured shake of the head.

“the only person who has super hearing is jay and he’s sitting right next to you. i doubt they’re going to be able to hear us from forty feet away,” jake points out and soojin harrumphs, crossing her arms over her chest.

“we don’t know if y/n has super hearing,” soojin reminds the group and the three of them simultaneously face forward to see if y/n was listening to their conversation. either she was an incredible actress or she genuinely couldn’t hear anything because by the time they refocus on the scene in front of them, sunghoon’s warding off another well timed kick and the succeeding side swipe.

but what he doesn’t account for is y/n’s ability to turn around nearly as fast as sunghoon to try and land a punch. and while sunghoon does manage to swat away y/n’s fist, she’s unable to recover as quickly as sunghoon as she loses her balance trying to beat sunghoon. and sunghoon, in his panic to try and shield y/n’s fall, manages to topple downwards with her.

down, down, down until suddenly, every inch of y/n’s body is pressed against his own. from her toes to her - to her lips, pressed against sunghoon’s and although y/n’s powers are pyrokinetics, sunghoon feels as though his entire body has been doused in cold water as he realizes that technically, he is kissing y/n. or honestly, she’s kissing him but somehow the logistics of the situation are lost on sunghoon when he looks into her eyes, wide-eyed and confused. 

have y/n’s eyes always been so…so bright? 

it’s only when jay coughs obnoxiously loudly that he remembers his audience, and it seems that this is an adequate reminder for y/n as well, who rolls off of him rather unceremoniously.

the room is silent, almost painfully so as sunghoon and y/n seemingly process what just happened. 

ardor - win. sunghoon - loss. the mat rings out unhelpfully and y/n looks as though she’s rebooting as she rises to her feet.

“is there any way to correct the system? i - i don’t think i actually won. not with conventional tactics anyway,” she splutters as sunghoon also composes himself enough to get off the floor.

“a win is a win!” jake calls out, wincing when sunghoon shoots him a withering look. this seems to kickstart the rest of the team back to life as jay offers y/n a water bottle and soojin flashes an award-winning smile at her.

“not bad for your first day on the training mat,” yujin says, casually throwing an arm around y/n’s shoulders.

jake, seemingly haven shaken off sunghoon’s nonverbal warning rather quickly, turns to the still somewhat confused man with a shit-eating grin. “you lost. you know what that means, right?”

this catches jay’s attention as well as he appears at the scene of the crime with an equally frightening smirk. “i vaguely recall someone saying that if someone beat him - ”

“ - he’d be their personal servant for a month?” yujin finishes and soojin giggles, quickly trying to hide her grin when sunghoon’s glare transfers from the terrible threes and lands on her instead.

“oh, oh no - i’m so sorry!” y/n exclaims, her face twisted into an expression somewhere in between guilt, shame, confusion, and anxiety. “please don’t regard this as a loss; the…accident from before was completely my fault and that wasn’t an official sparring match so - so that shouldn’t count as a win and you shouldn’t be held to those conditions.”

yujin watches as sunghoon turns to her, his gaze growing soft but somewhat guarded as he shakes his head with a good-natured smile. 

“you won. there is no changing the system. and besides, in the field, one must be prepared for sorts of conditions and trials; it was my own fault that i lost so i must uphold the conditions i proposed,” sunghoon says but the words don’t seem to appease y/n’s mind at all.

soojin seems to notice as she steers y/n towards the exit of the training room.

“y/n, trust me. when it comes to wins from sunghoon, you take them where you can get them,” she says and y/n just nods, which is as much of a concession of her victory as soojin figures she’s gonna get. 

yujin’s left in the training room with sunghoon by the time jake and jay gather their belongings also start to file out the training room (but not before jake smirks at sunghoon, indicating that they were gonna talk later).

“stop thinking so much,” yujin says, arms folded across her chest. sunghoon rolls his eyes before heading over to the bench to pick up his bandages and boxing gear.

“i’m not thinking,” sunghoon says and yujin snorts.

“normally, i’d love to agree with that statement but you’re overthinking and every single one of us can tell. including y/n.” yujin nods to y/n’s receding figure before turning back to sunghoon with an unimpressed look. “it was an accident.”

“i know,” sunghoon says, a little too quickly. “i mean, i know.”

yujin fixes him with a probing look before giving up, shrugging as she also starts to head out of the training room. 

but it seems the surprises for the day are still abundant as y/n bursts into the room, looking more alarmed than yujin’s ever seen her before.

“don’t ask me how i know this but klarion’s back in town,” y/n trembles, eyes full of panic.

“and i think he knows where i am.”

[chemicalkatz]

I saw someone asking about the circle of magi as the game struggled to capture any lore that was so vital to the games prior to it, especially DA2 where it came to a head and caused a full mage rebellion. An angel lost its wings.

Even if the game is set in the North where there is less issues with templar and mage conflicts, being replaced with mage cults and corrupted templars- the fact there is no real development within it other than say a line talking about the south once or twice in the story. (and typically it just concerns the blight).

Veilguard comes off as both a “baby’s first dragon age game” and “you need to play the first 3 to understand the lore” at the same time. It will repeat the most basic information such as Bellara feeling the need to point out the very first ogre of the game to- What is the blight? What is blood magic? Circle of Magi? Templars? The chantry?

Did I hate Veilguard? No, I don’t actually hate it so far. My biggest complaints are this-

1 . ) the romance is sad to a point, Lucanis is typically the main offender. But I don’t hate it, though Fenris and Hawke I think ruined any other romances in this game for me.

2. ) World State is GONE. What was the point of the keep if you only had it for one game? Even if it took mostly in the south choices such as a friendship/rivalry with Varric could mean something- references to past characters, especially Inquisition (outside like 3 choices). and The Grey Wardens …. there is so many times where a good reference to a origin could mean something- Perhaps Darvin mentioning a dalish HoF when he discusses leaving his clan, comparing it? or how the Inquisitor possibly had banished them a while back?? Idk it’s just so disappointing I miss my character specific references.

3. ) The nonbinary scene with Taash. I surprisingly don’t HATE Taash despite them being an ass, but I suppose it’s biowares sad attempt at giving them a different personality from the rest of the cast who many are mysterious or disney levels of good. their scenes need heavy work, especially when I saw a rewrite of their coming out scene that involved lore- When I think of it I think of Iron Bull and Krem, a canonical trans man, and how their conversation compares to the one between Taash and their mother.

4. ) building up on the last point I hate the modern terms did we suddenly forget what era of life we’re in? We are in a mostly medieval society with magic and dragons and mythical beings. the writing sucks in so many ways compared to other games.

In short Veilguard is not entirely a bad story game, but it is a lackluster dragon age game and we either need a redemption or dragon age finally being laid to rest with this last game.

Long story short, turns out that I don't really like Veilguard. Like at all. So it's been cathartic to read some of the criticism here to feel like even if I still love the series and I'm mourning the lost lore and worldbuilding, I just can't say "hey I respect this game" cause... I don't. No, it's not a Dragon Age game.

Like for example, I can't believe that I just read a post in which op rightfully critics how big of a problem it is the lack of the Southern (or as a whole, honestly) Chantry representation in this game, and the tags are full of comments like "Good. I hate the Chantry anyway, it sucks"

Well you are exactly part of the problem here. Because it seems you are saying "it sucks so Im glad it is not there" and that's exactly what they did with every complex problem in DA in this game.

Because you know what? The core of this franchise is that, YES. It HAS to be there and it HAS to suck. This is exactly what the original setting was telling us. You don't get to ignore it because you, as a character in that world, has to live there and it affects you. And like a player, it had the goal to make you think and feel complicated stuff.

And also religion is a fundamental pillar of fantasy medieval settings like??? Wtf are you talking about being fine with being non-existent here? Did you ever like Dragon Age at all? Because you sound like the big questions in ethics and faith it always presented bothered you enough to be okay with this game erasing it.

Sure, let's gonna devoid of every representative aspect that made Dragon Age the setting we all enjoyed, sure it will be the right choice to do.

[rottenpumpkin13]

Potential for Genesis angst in ‘no mako for a day’ ask???👀👀

I’m picturing Sephiroth finally realising he’s not being dramatic and a very tense day in medical… maybe a trip to Hollander and some scathing criticism from Hojo?

You got it!

-

The true, destructive nature of mako dependency isn't taught in SOLDIER training. Sure, they teach their operatives about the enhancements, about the raw, luminous green ichor coursing through their veins, about becoming something greater than human—but no one dares to compare their bodies to living reactors, to desperate engines running on borrowed divinity from Mother Gaia.

The SOLDIER serum rewrites as much as it enhances, Jenova cells twisting around mako-saturated tissue until the two become inseparable, threading through muscle and bone, twining around nerve endings until every cell screams for more. Missing a dose isn't withdrawal, but starvation, and the enhanced tissue cannibalizes itself in search of sustenance.

So when the the scheduled SOLDIER mako injections are delayed indefinitely, most handle it as best they can. Sephiroth's self-control frays only at the edges—his tongue feels thick and dry in his mouth, his hands tremble, his pulse accelerates, and the perpetual heat permeating his body is only mildly annoying. But he endures, as he always has.

Angeal finds a strange peace in the discomfort. Bone-deep chills and muscle spasms wake him up gasping in the middle of the night, but he feels something almost like redemption. His enhanced cells cry out for mako, but beneath their hunger, he can feel his original humanity keeping him whole. The headaches bring clarity, the weakness reminds him of how he endured when he was younger. Honor can be a burden, and he finds it in suffering and remembering what it means to be fully human.

Genesis' body turns against itself with scriptural fury, as if Minerva herself is extracting divine retribution for his mortal presumption. The world spins in nauseating blurs, his veins scream and thrash beneath the skin, and each heartbeat is akin to a thunderclap that threatens to split his skull as it pulses in his ears.

Fevers course his body, only to be chased by bone-crushing chills that leave him shaking, teeth chattering hard enough to crack.

But he had foreseen it. Of course it would be him—never the perfect Sephiroth with his immaculate genes, never the steadfast Angeal with his unshakeable constitution. Only Genesis, the flawed understudy, the imperfect copy, the one whose body has always been a battlefield, the very one he so desperately sought to enter by becoming a SOLDIER, driven by the desire for power to fight in it.

Sephiroth barely pays him any mind when Genesis describes his suffering through chattering teeth. Another performance, he thinks with growing disdain. He's undoubtedly exaggerating, just like that time he spun a simple cold into a tragic affliction, painting it as some deadly plague on the brink of consuming him.

Genesis had always been like this, and he, himself wouldn't dare deny it. He took pride in his petic way of transforming every ailment into epic poetry, turning every injury into a tragic opera with himself as the dying hero—call it a coping mechanism developed when he was but a bed-bound child unable to play with the other children.

But this can't possibly be as bad as he claims, Sephiroth thinks, watching Genesis stumble against a wall, pale skin sheened with sweat.

Then Genesis tries to stand, and the world drops away. His eyes roll back and he crumples with terrible grace, all pretense stripped away as his body finally betrays him completely. Sephiroth's irritation shatters into genuine fear as he catches his friend's burning body.

He was then taken to Hollander's lab, where his medical chart reads like a tragedy written in clinical terms, one Genesis would have scorned had he been awake and not hooked up to machines, calling it a melodramatic exaggeration, just as he always did with any wound that wasn't a spectacle.

Sephiroth sits beside the bed where Genesis lies unconscious, mako dripping into his veins through multiple IVs, and reads the his medical history.

Mako-induced Cyanosis of the extremities

Mako Hypermetabolism

Congenital blood protein deficiency - present from birth

Chronic mako absorption resistance

Immune system instability

Chronic anemia resistant to treatment

Every complaint Sephiroth dismissed as theatrics replayed on a loop in his mind, deepening Sephiroth's guilt. Genesis' "dramatic episodes" were desperate cries from a body at war with itself. The poetry wasn't melodrama; it was Genesis's only way to voice pain too complex for clinical terms.

Now Sephiroth watches Genesis' chest rise and fall, watches mako drip into his veins, and swears his own private oath. He'll donate blood, submit to any procedure, endure any torment, do whatever it takes to keep Genesis whole.

The thought of losing his best friend, of watching him waste away, is unthinkable to someone who has only just found a friend worth keeping, someone who had never known the warmth of true companionship until Genesis. The bond they share is something Sephiroth has never allowed himself to believe in before, and now that it was here, he can't bear the thought of it slipping through his fingers.

But fate is writing a crueler story. When degradation begins its inexorable consumption of Genesis's flesh, Sephiroth's cells could be salvation. But instead, they'll be separated, and Sephiroth will never know that the power to save Genesis runs in his veins until long after his friend has vanished into the darkness of his own deterioration.

[gracefullou]

Everytime i see a cover of a Louis song i'm reminded of how beautiful his voice is, how unique it is and how difficult it is to sing his songs

[bixels]

In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.

He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!

You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).

Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!

But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!

[zaahvi]

and here's the full ref!

ren started as a random "what if i made an ancient elf oc to ship with felassan?" thought and a few weeks later here i am, sitting on several pages of backstory, character relationships and an entire romance plot.... i'm deep in this already i fear

loredump: (mostly summarised because it's long and headcanon heavy)

renan was a spirit of devotion who (willingly) made a body to join their mentor, dirthamen. they're now one of his chosen, and arguably the closest person to him as he's kind of reclusive by that point (far post-titan war).

anyway, my hc goes that dirthamen struck a truce with solas & the rebellion after one of his followers came across the rebels' plans against him. the trade was that any of dirthamen's subjects could freely join the rebellion if they wished, and in return dirth would get any information collected on the other evanuris. he assigned renan to the rebellion as his sole agent. solas, of course, didn't trust either of them, and so told felassan to basically keep an eye on renan in case they did something suspicious.

well... that's how solas learned that exposing two people with the same brand of unhinged to each other is a terrible idea, because they ended up hitting it off and over time started developing feelings for each other. though it was very much a slow burn because... well mostly renan was panicking because the two of them are technically still on opposite sides and what if things suddenly go to shit and they lose each other? but in the end they get together because they figure that even if something bad happens, they'll just regret the lost time if they don't.

anyway, of course something bad happens. the other evanuris find dirthamen's involvement in the rebellion, give him a second chance so he has to choose between the two. of course he chooses the evanuris out of self preservation, and his betrayal is pretty much how they're able to get their hands on the lyrium dagger and kill mythal.

and renan... goes with him. they're a spirit of devotion devoted to him and fighting against him could twist them against their purpose... felassan agrees with them too because he doesn't want that to happen to them like it did to solas. so.. they had to part :/

after solas imprisoned the evanuris and disappeared, renan & felassan both felt kind of lost, they still loved each other but were officially on opposing sides. they both entered uthenera and would meet in the waking dreams, trying to ignore that their relationship was essentially doomed if either of their gods woke up/broke free.

ok there's more after but i've already written enough and that's just a summary lmao. some tidbits

the pattern on ren's cloak is their original spirit form

they can shapeshift, they mostly use raven form :]

while dirthamen & renan start off as mentor and student, it's less formal, and over time (mostly near the end) becomes more like a father/child bond.

i mentioned ren mimicked some of his personality traits and mannerisms, they also based some of their appearance off of his. i posted bust concepts of the twins here if you wanna see how i imagine dirthamen :)

solas thinks renan is weird as hell even though they're actually pretty normal... at least compared to the rest of dirthamen's followers lmao

dirthamen also thinks felassan is weird but in a way that he thinks it's funny

mostly been working on wips for the past few weeks, but i wanted to post something before the end of the year soo allow me to introduce my ancient elf oc!

this is renan ("voice" in elven), former spirit of devotion turned elf, now an agent tasked with gathering intel about the other evanuris for the rebellion as well as for their own god, dirthamen :)

[kagoutiss]

green beetle black beetle

[insertsomthinawesome]

Sankta

(The Insider in the Red outfit is a parody from Pinnochio-P's song, Fake Meme)

[No Romance Included]

[kermitthesog]

okay i’m rereading the titan’s curse rn and can we talk about how these books (wrath of the triple goddess and the chalice of the gods) have seriously downgraded? like i get that these newer ones are just fun extras for us to enjoy, but i feel like we’re going backwards?

first of all, i want to say what everyone’s been saying: since when was percy dumb? like maybe it’s just because he’s narrating, but i feel like there are too many times where we call percy dumb in cotg and wottg. hadn’t we already established that he wasn’t?

and so many other things are like that! i’m not saying i haven’t been enjoying these books but i just wanna know what the point is if we’re not going anywhere with the character development (aside from maybe grover in wottg because that was actually deep—when he was willing to “disappear”). am i wrongly complaining though?

[paranoxia-333]

Oop…the most divisive two?? Slowly starting to realise maybe I have more of a strange taste in men than I thought XD

I’ve played through up to the fall performance since I wrote the original post (currently on the day before the fall performance) and I DEFINITELY like him more now. That part where Suzu and Sou start arguing and then Sou snaps at Suzu…the voice acting gave me CHILLS during that..the way he started screaming at him really caught me off guard. I really liked his development through that arc too, I felt bad for him the first few times but after the 70th time of Sou going ‘I’m never gonna be as good as Suzu or Kisa…….i can never stand next to her on the stage…’ I think the development was needed fast or he was about to get reallyyy repetitive. But yep, definitely like him a lot more now.

With Neji I probably wouldn’t have liked him as much if my first exposure to him was his romance route since that ‘Tachibana…I’m scared of females’ defenitely made me reconsider for a second lol. I really enjoyed his voice acting as well as Sou, Daisuke Kishio did a really good job giving Neji a dynamic and interesting voice, a lot more than other characters I’ve seen with similar personalities to Neji.

This one might be a bit controversial but I actually appreciated him accepting that offer with Onyx and Rhodonite to transfer Kisa if she couldn’t get an individual award. The way he had that much faith in Kisa’s talent as an actor really impressed me, I’ve played a few otome games before which I had not-so great opinions on, and one of them was always how they always downplay the main character and her skills to fit her into a stereotypical female role, it always just stood out to me how the main character never seemed to be portrayed as talented or strong (I’m sure there’s better otomes out there, I was probably just unlucky) so seeing Neji put so much faith in Kisa because he believes so much in her talent really made me like him, even if it’s under the guise of Kisa being male.

I also…just found him kind of entertaining in general 😅 him being relatively unpredictable compared to other characters just made me a lot more curious to what his interactions would be like, so I end up choosing him a lot more over other characters. I think they’re defenitely going to have to play their cards right for his route though, I’d probably still enjoy his character because of his voice acting and entertainment value but if they don’t resolve his fear of women well later on Sou will probably rise higher than him for my favourite character lol.

I defenitely like Fumi too. I really like his design with the more feminine look too plus the piercings. I still haven’t seen too much of him though so I’ll trust you and keep him for one of the last routes I do. My plan was to start and end with characters I liked the most while keeping the ones I didn’t like so much in the middle, which for me would be Kai and Suzu in the middle. I actually like every character so far, they just happen to be my two least favourites. I’ve played 2-3 events of their routes and both had a big emphasis on Kisa’s Jeanne-ness so far (Suzu ‘I can’t kiss you you look too much like a girl’ and Kai ‘your hands are so small’) which just isn’t my style which you might’ve guessed by the original post lmao. Defenitely still characters I like though, Suzu’s determination is really admirable and Kai’s tendency to say absolutely nothing and also disappear out of nowhere was pretty relatable lol. I also really liked Kai’s talk with Kisa when she was struggling to play Mukai since she thought she was too feminine for the role, when he told her that she doesn’t need to try and be more masculine to play him because she is already suited for the role enough as she is, that really stood out to me and made me like him a lot.

I haven’t really seen that much of Mitsuki to form an opinion on him, since he’s been pretty quiet so far and the 2 events of his I’ve played so far didn’t really tell me too much about him apart from his mother. Definitely still interested in him though, and I defenitely wanna lean into the transmasc vibes lol.

Originally my plan was to play through the routes in the order Neji, Sou, Kai, Suzu, Fumi, Mitsuki but I did read the link you added, it was very helpful! Im gonna keep Neji and Sou where they are but I’m defenitely a big fan of the CGs and a little less concerned about the lore (although I still like it) and since Sou is my second I’m gonna swap those two around so I can have the Sou-Suzu synergy and also delay Kai’s CGs more. I’ll also take your advice with Fumi last and swap him and Mitsuki around so now it’ll be Neji, Sou, Suzu, Kai, Mitsuki, Fumi! I also realised reading the link that my chronic rhythm game addiction has come in clutch with the SS scores and I’m accidentally on my way to the bad end so thank you for the warning😅.. I’ll probably squeeze the bad end in somewhere between Suzu and Kai so it’s not my first impression and I also don’t end on a bad ending. Defenitely enjoying the whole game so far so I’ll probably be commenting on whatever other things stand out to me as I play. Thanks for the advice though! I really appreciate it

Why is this woman targeted otome game making me feel seen in a way no overtly transmasc media ever has (Jack Jeanne on Switch)

For context the MC (Kisa Tachibana) is a girl crossdressing as a boy to go to an all boys drama school called Univeil, since it’s all boys some of them play girls for the plays, the ones who play boys are called Jacks and the ones who play girls are called Jeannes

I was guessing since it was a female protag they would make her a Jeanne for the whole game as not to alienate their audience but for her second performance she’s given a male role as a Jack, she struggles with the role at first and has some lines that resonated HARD with me when looking at them through a transmasc perspective:

I’m sure I don’t need to explain much how a transmasc could relate to this, but it was such a nice surprise to have this nuance in a game I really wasn’t expecting to touch on gender this much; I’m not an avid otome game player so maybe I went into it with a lot of bias as I though it would be targeted towards a straight female audience but it was really nice to see them explore Kisa’s gender expression like this. There are more examples I could talk about with the gender commentary but I don’t want to spoil it too much. If you’re interested in the game I should also mention half the guys look like girls it’s literal transmasc bisexual heaven

Overall I’m really enjoying this game so far, I know the community for it is kind of small but if any other Jack Jeanne fans are here I’d love to hear some more opinions too. I’m only up to around the end of the summer holidays/hotel training camp and when they’re moving into the fall performance practice, so I’d appreciate if you could avoid spoilers past then.

[velvetwyrme]

i eat up ur recs with a spoon and have almost gotten to the end of the list!!! do u have any other self insert recs? thank u! u have great taste

MWAH MWAH ILY !! THANK YOU and yes ofc I have more recs (not as many as last time, but it should still be a decent list to sink your teeth into <3)

Take care when reading, and always be sure to check the tags!

Same notation as last time, with STATUS of each fic labelled as such: Finished, Ongoing/Unfinished, Discontinued. (Unless the author specified that the fic is Discontinued or on Indefinite Hiatus, I will mark it as Ongoing/Unfinished. Oneshots are also marked as such.)

Spicy (Explicit) and/or Dark fics have also been labelled if relevant. (I won’t mark ones with just suggestive themes/moments, since I cant guarantee I’ll catch all of them. Similarly, unless there is consistent graphic death or gore I [probably] won’t mark it as dark.)

MULTICHAPTERS

As always, tread carefully while reading and take care of yourselves <3

Edit: Fixed a missing link or two!

These Masks We Wear - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

TIME LOOPS BABEY!!!! This reader is a delight from the get go because they have been stuck in a time loop and are... rather impulsive because of it, which lands them in a bit of a mess, because these strange, dangerous monsters have just emerged from the mountain. (I'm screaming and yelling at this fic very intensely)

Resisting the Current - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

If you haven't read this yet please do yourself a favour and read it. The premise was enough to get me irrevocably hooked (anti-harem but the gf is ALSO into you. ALSO SHE'S YOUR EX) and the writing is just FANTASTIC. I'm obsessed with the dialogue and description at every turn. Also, I would very much like to kiss Quinn please and thank you. The plot is beginning to set in now, and it's so good??? I have to cut this short or else I'll talk forever <3

ALSO the same author recently posted the first chapter of Wishbone which has me in a vice grip!!! AHH

Comic Classifieds - Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

*kicks in the door* DID I HEAR... FAKE DATING? Very sweet VERY funny, with an extremely extraordinarily awkward reader. (Who is also "cute in an awkward, baby giraffe kind of way.") It's sooo good please please check it out.

Stolen with Friendship, Captured by Love - Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

2016... I still love this fic deeply <3 It's so SWEET and it reminds me of the good days of fic... Papyrus is. a Lot to deal with, but the reader takes it all in stride. He is SO full of energy and I want to sqUISH HIM.

Tough Choices, Tougher Consequences - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

I loooooove stories where soldiers get thrust into awful political matters. After you are forcefully removed from the battlefield, the Emperor gifts you his finest gladiator- Papyrus. He intends for the monster to be a toy to you as much as you are a toy to him, but you can't accept that and quickly broker a deal with Papyrus for his freedom.

Already There - Underfell!Sans/Reader - Finished

[Warning: INCREDIBLY SAD AND GOOD]

BURSTS INTO TEARS. Like for real though I adore this fic, it will break you into a hundred million pieces. My beloved son!!!!!!! I can't believe I didn't add this one to my last list it's such an influential piece of my existence like genuinely

There is also a sequel! Which hasn't updated since 2018 BUT STILL IS REALLY GOOD. If you want a slightly less heartbreaking story, the author also has another Sans/Reader; A Tale of Dog and Monster which makes me want to cry but in a happy emotional way instead.

Here's to You, Doll - Mafia!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Ah... this one is very fun. You're a scientist who gets accidentally isekai'd into a Mafiatale universe and becomes stranded there. Unfortunately for you, Don Gaster and his brothers think you are a spy, so you're kinda stuck with them. Also Sans is kinda a little freak in this one at times (/appreciative)

Soul Collector - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

The reader (the Soul Collector) gets transported into another universe and has to stay with their alternate, who is the skeleton's terrible neighbour. You look just like her, of course, resulting in a lot of VERY confusing interactions. I wasn't expecting to, but I actually really like Meyer.

Consequences - Papyrus(?)/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Anti harem, but the reader gets mcfreaking MURDERED (and so does classic Papyrus?!) so now they are both Ghosts. Focus is currently more on platonic relationships and REVENGE but I'm enjoying the twist on the typical anti-harem structure!!

My Soulmate is a Pastel Goth (And Other Concerns) - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Edge is very cute in this and I also feel really bad for him, he's trying so hard but the MC will not give him the time of day ;w;!! I looove me a good tumultuous soulmate fic. (Note: this fic also features Fem!Frisk as Sans’ soulmate in the bg, so if you’re not a fan, that’s something to note ^^! Fr//ans isn’t quite my thing, but tbh I’m really interested in seeing how things turn out here!)

ERROR: Not Found - Error!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Error, gets obsessed with the reader and kidnaps them! It's slice of life, so don't expect TOO much hard hitting angst here, it's more about being woo'd by the strange stalkerish entity who knows everything about you <3

When Death isn't an Option - Horror!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

I'm a sucker for immortal readers, especially ones that get stuck in HORRORTALE of all places. This fic is very fun and plays in the Horrortale sandbox in a fun way- I'm enjoying it a ton so far :]!!!

Additionally... if you liked that or if you're like me and love immortal readers forced to make decisions of extremely dubious morality and sense because of their immortal nature, you should also check out Cadarverous and 𝚎𝚊t. which are both very dark and very compelling.

Babysitting with Extra Morbid Steps - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

So the first thing you need to know is: Papyrus is dead.

... WAIT WAIT WAIT HEAR ME OUT- this is a really brilliantly written fic about like. SO much fucked up shit happening. The reader is Sans' friend, who he has hired/tasked with guarding the various alternates he has. just straight up imprisoned(?!?!). I avoided this for a while because of the aforementioned Papyrus Being Dead thing, but HOT DAMN I'm glad I read it in the end. Delightfully horrifying, but it gets sweet I swear!!! I would say read the tags but those are Spoilery ;)!

Additional note; the comments section often has Really Interesting dissections of characters and their motivations, which if you're into that (like me) then you should read those too!

All You Knead is Loaf - Sans/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Super sweet, VERY punny fic that updated over the course of a month iirc. It's a cute food-centric Sans/Reader!

Like a moth to flame…or a lamp - Mothman Horror!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

BIG MOTHMAN HORROR!!! He's so sweet and sad this poor man. He has mistaken the reader for his mate and is trying to woo them again...

Those Times I Met His Brother - Sans/Reader - Finished

Essentially you befriend Papyrus and keep getting left with Sans, during which you grow closer. Love Papyrus' not-so-subtle attempts to get them together afjkdfjsf,,

Just Try and Help (Lil Old Hopeless Me) - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Skeleton reader! Very angy skeleton reader. They do not Want to be here (understandably, considering they were essentially kidnapped) but their former caretaker is gone, and they have nowhere to go.

Lovely House of Bones - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Six monsters get stranded in a snowstorm, and you help them not freeze to death by inviting them into the house you inherited. I'm really excited to see where this one goes :D!

Maybe In Time, You'll Want To Be Mine - Underfell!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

More!! Soulmate stuff!!!! SOULMARKS BABEY!! Love it when there are misunderstandings! Love it when there are cuuuuute background character kiddos!! AUGH it's cute! And angsty! But cute!!

No Good Deed - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Finished

You volunteer at a local homeless shelter where you meet a strange, less-than-friendly volunteer. Short and sweet!

Nothing but Skin and Bone - Horror!Skelebros/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

MORE Horrortale content! This one only finished last month or so- it goes from angsty to sweet/cute and it's real good!!

If you read that and want EVEN MORE sadness and gore, the author's other work Vivid Blood, Pale Scars (DARK) is very tragic and very fucked up because you get saddled the Horrorfell boys this time. MUCH Hurt and No Comfort!! All the endings hurt me in different ways and none of them are happy. LUCKILY(?) the spinoff/AU where the skelebros and reader from VBPS get pulled into a multiversal skeleton house; Blurred Lines, Opened Wounds has just started!! Surely nothing can go wrong. Surely.

The Princes' Bride - Skelebros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

What if you got kidnapped by the king to marry his sons. "Why" is a good question. And an even MORE pressing question is: how do you get OUTTA here. (Papyrus is a sweetie, Sans is distrusting, and King Gaster is a mysterious weirdo who is a good dad and bad everything else.)

MorTificaTion - Bad Sanses/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Reader from Outertale gets yanked into Horrortale! They then have to masquerade as Sans' wife and Aliza's mother, all the while trying to just stay alive. Not to mention the other Sanses running around... really fun premise and I'm excited to see where it all goes >:0!! Also extra kudos to the name of the fic because YAY Murder Time Trio (MTT) mention!

So here's the plan... - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader/Underswap!Papyrus- Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

VERY CUTE!! Love them. Fake dating except there's a third conspirator involved. Each of them was also trying to set the other two up in a couple uwu. Chapter 1 is cute, and chapter 2 is spicy ;)!

Just a Cat - Swapfell!Skelebros/Reader - Finished

The reader is in fact, not just a cat. (He is a shapeshifter, and pretends to be a cat.) Shenanigans ensue.

An Apple a Day Keeps the Asshole Away - Swapfell!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Unhinged. When I say unhinged I mean it in the best possible way but it IS unhinged. They're all a bunch of little FREAKS. Please read it, if only to experience the absolute TERROR of Miss Bluebell and also Steve. What the hell (appreciative)

Honey Lemon Tea - ...?/Reader - Discontinued

RAGHHH I'm so sad this was discontinued :(( I loved the set up and the mystery so much... the author did leave an end note with how the plot would have played out though!

Shifting Morals - Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

You go stargazing and have an encounter with a mysterious stranger :0c?! (It's Sans. He's a cool beasty guy, and he is very very sadly Entirely alone.)

Additionally, this fic was suddenly revived 5 years after posting the first chapter which I have immense respect for.

The Key To Freedom - Yandere Buttontale!Papyrus/Reader - Finished

Yandere Papyrus! Not a common sight, but this fic does it particularly well. He mostly wants to eat your soul at first, but then he starts getting... attached. The bittersweet ending!!! AUGH.

Milky Tea and Souls - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

What if you could summon bitty versions of your soulmates!! And oh stars why are there so many- WHAT DO YOU MEAN MORE KEEP APPEARING??? The reader has a handful of skeletons and more to deal with!

The House on Lane 66 - Various/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

I feel like legally I have to include this (/lh /j). I finally finished it recently and went "WOAH..."

I stopped reading for a while (because of the length...) BUT I returned to it because I really really enjoy the world building (like holy SHIT!!!) but oh my god that sure is. a Million words now. It is TECHNICALLY finished, but that's only because the next part is in the works(?!?!?!)

Love Grows - Farmtale!Sans/Anomaly!Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

🎵 Love grows where my rosemary goes~

The reader doesn't have a physical body or a way to interact with the world while they watch over Saejun and the rest of the Farmtale characters. They inhabit a scarecrow to have some semblance of personhood, but they remain unable to talk...

Falling - Underswap!Skelebros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

You are dying. You are dying and all of a sudden your dad is asking you to pick out a fucking slave of all things. The monster does not trust you (fair) and he thinks you are faking your illness for attention (less fair. what the fuck). Really interesting dynamics in this one!

Se Brûler - Grillby/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

I reaaaally love this fic! Sweet fluff! Angst! THE DRAMA!!!!! AUAUUUUGH I have too much to say about it just go read it.

Early Bird Special - Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

Old fic that's still updating!!!! Really interesting plot that just keeps getting More Dramatic as time goes on (in a good way). It's a Slavetale AU, in which the reader ends up joining the resistance after a few chance encounters. The author also has a spinoff fic with the same premise but featuring Underfell instead, which results in quiiiiite a lot changing.

nemesis & nike - Various Horrorbros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

The reader essentially starts off in a zombie apocalypse and then gets transported into an alternate universe where they initially think that the various skeletons they meet are zombies. Turns out they are not in fact, zombies, but like most of them still want to kill the reader so...

Rules to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse - Swapfell!Skelebros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes] [Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

More zombie apocalypse stuff! Except this time you're stuck there with a pair of weird skeletons! You give them nicknames so you don't get attached, but of course you end up getting attached anyway.

To My Horror - Horror!Skelebros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Post-surfacing Horrortale fic where the skelebros get to go live their farming dreams. With you! Slice of life with a dash of intimidation and angst.

If you enjoyed the Horrortale/Farmtale fusion, you'll be glad to hear there's also...

The Skeleton Stalks - Horrortale!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Another Horror-farm-tale fusion which has just begun recently! You live on a farm and all of a sudden there is this Big Intelligent Dog hanging around. Eventually, your new neighbors are sent to check in on you and your Great(er) Dog, which leads to some sweet interactions.

The Ruse - Swapfell!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

This is a rework! I read the original fic while it was being originally posted and I ADORED it, and the rework is superb <3 Sans is the Captain of the Royal Guard, who must fight valiantly against the villanous Eclipse, who exists only to spread terror... and you're just some human chilling on the sidelines, posting treasonous Soriel posts on the Undernet.

I'm so so so excited for it to return auauusgfhfhdj THE ORIGINAL FIC IS GONE SO I CAN'T EVEN READ IT TO SATIATE ME...

Almost Alone - Swapfell!Papyrus/Male!Reader - Finished

I love the sleepy, slow atmosphere this fic has- it's so befitting of both SF!Pap and the MC in this. It's soft and sweet and melancholic auauuauauuughgh I LOVE IT... *bursts into tears again*!!!! Also, there is a side fic which follows different POVs throughout the story, which is similarly well written!

=========================

ONESHOTS

Date night Purring - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

SUPER CUTE (and slightly suggestive)! Also Edge has a feminine body in this which is always fun. Booba <3

Scares and a Sudden Friendship - Horror!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

Reader's shitty boyfriend leaves them behind in the haunted house in which HT!Sans is working as a scare actor. Sweet little meet cute! (Meet spook?)

Fallen Star - Underfell!Gaster/Reader - Oneshot

An ooooold fic but one that never fails to break my heart. Written from the perspective of UF!Gaster recording experiment logs about the newest fallen human.

Birdy -Mafiafell!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

LET THE BIRD FUCK SHIT UP!! I love the way the Avian... siren(?) reader is characterised... there's also another oneshot in the same series which I enjoyed- love me some weird Creature Body Horror!!

I also really enjoyed the author's other fic: Moss & Mycelium, wherein the reader is a skeleton :]!!

Skeleton's Curiosity - FellswapGold!Skelebros/Reader - Oneshot

SUBNAUTICA AUUUUUUUUUUU YEAAHH BABEY!! I love mermaid AUs and I love Subnautica! Real cute!

Chance Encounter - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

ANOTHER SUBNAUTICA AU :D!! Except it's just UF!Pap this time <33 !!!

Leaving A Mark - Sans/Reader - Oneshot

The twist(?) made me laugh so hard I almost cried. It's VERY cute also.

Nice to Scare You - Various/Reader - Oneshot Series

A fun series of oneshots of the spookier variety! Or more Halloween-y at least. All very good <3

=========================

MISC. / OTHER

The Escort - Lust!Sans/Reader || &Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Discussions of Explicit Content.]

No romance! (But lots of kind-of-onscreen fucking.) This fic feels like looking at a bunch of polaroids, seeing a snapshot of existence. Life out of context. And it works SO well. It makes me feel sad and existential and I really love it.

Rubble & Ramparts - (An R&R-Inspired AU Fic) - Various/OC || Various&OC - Ongoing/Unfinished

Not a reader insert, but it's like. An AU of a reader insert so I'm including it here!!! Rubble and Ramparts is of course, inspired by R&R (Rabble & Rampallians), which was on my previous list but is getting linked here again for ease of navigation

ALEXIS my beloved!!!!!!! I am in loooove with the way things are going in this fic. It's so COOL and Alexis is such a freaking DELIGHT. Also I just really love reading all the notes from the Cutting Room floor, which the author has kindly included in a separate fic for your reading pleasure!!

ALSO in writing this I also remembered there is Another Spinoff AU fic which IS a reader insert (that I'm enjoying)...

Perception & Patronage (An R&R Spinoff) - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Thank the stars I remembered this, it's really fun!! Also judging by the tags there is also plans for. not only Various Sanses/Reader, but also READER/READER, which is such an underrated thing I love it, but I digress. It's a really fun spin on a really fun fic <3

Teen Livin' - Various Skelebros & Reader + Frisk/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes]

Cute and sad! Platonic reader insert. The reader is a troubled teen who befriends Frisk, and gets to meet a bunch of skeletal guardians. The skeletons have a familial/friend's cool cousin vibe with the reader, which is really sweet! The fic is currently going through a Halloween Special which I'm enjoying quite a bit (Haunted dolls! Ghosts! Blood!! Still very sad :[...)

Something Good - Fellswap Gold!Papyrus/Reader(?) || /OC(s) - Ongoing/Unfinished

Technically not a reader insert since Coffee is the MC, but I can forgive it because I'm really really invested in this and I really adore the character dynamics so far <3 Coffee striking it out on his own is always a fun thing to explore, and I'm excited to see more!!

=========================

I love writing up these rec lists- it's such a fun way for me to rediscover fics I've enjoyed, thank you for giving me another opportunity to reread some of my favourite fics and more importantly to share them with you! I hope you enjoy them as much as I did :D!!!

I'll probably leave it here for now or else I'll end up rereading fics forever lolol it's already like 3am I gotta sleep SOMETIME

[momentomori24]

So I only watched a couple of routes for Flipside but now I'm fully convinced that Nicole's characterisation either got handed to someone else or was just changed entirely. I knew she was different in Re-Up and I had an inkling on how but I couldn't 100% place my finger on it until this instalment came out. I'm starting to feel like whoever wrote her here didn't completely get her character in the first game. Is that just me.

[quietautumn]

if we get a super paper mario remake with a remastered ost on the same level as what they did with ttyd's remake i think i would literally die and float up to heaven or whatever. and then come back to finish the game