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#it's just idk. reverence for source material bc usually i like the stuff i write for! i enjoy it! i want more of it not sth different
ame-to-ame
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2 months
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the thing abt btr is i really wanna see more characterization/ ixn but i don't think anything i write will be able to capture the essence of the source material :(
#i think i just have to also finish the manga at some point but... i hate to admit this... but i don't like 4koma...
#i tried to read newgame or something at some point and i just couldn't. 4koma is sth I'd consume with a meal but i can't read it
#if that makes sense. like i can't have it as a story. i enjoy the milgram comics and they're basically 4koma but. it's not as a story.
#but it's also kinda my issue of not willing to break too far away from canon like i have hcs or scenarios i associate w certain characters
#but i feel. idk. guilty writing it if it “breaks character” too much. even w aus i try to stick close to canon and find good parallels
#it's just idk. reverence for source material bc usually i like the stuff i write for! i enjoy it! i want more of it not sth different
#the most ooc hc i have is hrk being trans bc i think there's no way they would have that be canon but. idk! We'll see!
#but also when it comes to btr rahhh idk which pairing to write abt and the issue is I'm usually not a multishipper!! but!!!
#everyone in the series adores bocchi so much. and obv it's a series abt bochi's growth so we have more focus on how the others feel abt her
#but the moments of understanding shared btwn bocchi and ryo. the sharing of secrets and vulnerability btwn bocchi and nijika.
#the way Kita supports and pushes bocchi forward. like. all of them are so shippable!!! i want it all!!
#at the same time there's the very canon admiration kita has for ryo and the way only ryo calls her ikuyo.
#and in canon how ryo rejects invitations from everyone else but has nijika as her only friend like. as someone who. is okay w being alone.
#like idk this is me projecting but the way she falls asleep on nijika the way she says sukithe way nijika so easily gives her the fries
#i find it hard to believe they are not bickering gfs. like. they make out every night.
#like idk rahhhh i just. i really like all the dynamics!!! i want to write i want to consume but i want to do it right
#holding characters i like a lot in my hand just like. mm. do i make you happy or do i. give you so much angst.
#i really wanna write sth angsty for the sake of self projection and getting things out of my system but i like all my pairings too much orz
#i get an inkling of an idea and then go but no.. i can't do this to them... they wouldn't do that... they're good kids...
#maybe i just go really ooc for once just so at least i know i can and i feel less. strung abt it.
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