#it's just . . . so slutshamey

[lucy-the-cat]

rereading Red Ruse and omg I hate like half of it EDITING TIME

[martyrofacrimescene]

how does Jared get so many bitches he's so fucking mediocre. He looks like every Latino cop character ever. His name is literally fucking Jared. He's like That. No way you're convincing me that many women want him it's just not possible.

[prettyboykatsuki]

tw for incest and noncon but also body image issues in some sense!!

sorry for incest posting not even a few hours into my brief return but cooked up some yuricest thoughts tho there's no characters for it but it actually makes so much sense to me . yuricest and also mother problems. but i need to find a woman to insert into it im not thinking hard enough

something about the sense of competition you always feel with your sister. from birth really. you're meant to love her and bond with her but your mother is the type of woman that constantly pit her against you so you just sort of grow up resenting her in this intimate and terrible way. you're nothing like her. you barely even look related and when you're growing up people always make such snide and terrible comments that you just feel the gap grow further and further

and then... on the opposite side.... your older sister also resenting you so deeply and intimately. because of your personality and your accomplishments and everything else about you that causes her to be Mean and make you miserable and yet she feels so Betrayed when you leave and she never reaches out but she develops this Insistent and Obsessive habit of watching after you and it devolves into this completely onesided obsession and you leaving to get it out of your mind

but your forced to return for One Reason or Another and you immediately clash again. you end up arguing with her in her room and screaming at her about how she always made you hate yourself growing up. and it devolves into this strange noncon body worship that is Vicious and Cruel and awful and kind of slutshamey despite the fact she's praising you the entire time for how beautiful and fuckable you are and its just the most horrible thing that you cry and weep but it feels so good. it just feels so fucking good to have your big sister make you cum. you know. You Know. Do You See The Vision.

[starfxkrinc]

how does kie get along with the other girls in the half siblings au?

kie and courtney......wellllll they sorta kinda get along but it kie has to get rid of a lot of her biases? jj being a pogue is one thing thats her brother but kies slutshamey why lie and courtney just doesnt give a fuck which bothers kie (woah wonder who she gets that from) but they get used to each other once theyre around each other more and they reluctantly start liking each other.

kie and dez dont really interact much believe it or not which is a neutral thing they dont dislike each other just don't have much commonality but its never a negative interaction.

kie realllly likes erykah they get along the best and she often gets in john bs face over her like those two are the most likely to willingly hang out together.

kie knows alicia very well and again shes slutshamey she doesnt like her at all and finds her to be annoying and thinks shes only a kook now because she "got lucky" but its a lot of projection over who she thinks does and doesnt deserve to be a kook. once she gets over that though she dislikes her for her personality traits not for classist reasons.

kie thinks gets sam and liana confused all the time she calls them the shining twins and she finds them so fuckin odd.

[rlyehtaxidermist]

i think the most important pitfall to avoid falling into with the oil fire is that’s not the classic slutshamey “woman who gets around a lot falls for the one person who she can’t seduce”. sanae has tubed that fox she’s just awful at it. the worst. the part that gets tsukasa’s tiny grinch heart to growing is that she’s so damn earnest about everything including but not limited to being rubbish in bed

[algolagniaa]

🔥 🔥 🔥 anything feminist related (at least 3)

swear to god I’m saying this in the least victim blamey least slutshamey way possible but I really don’t see why a woman with feminist consciousness would want to be with a man romantically unless she’s abusing that man (in which case good for her). when you’re in a relationship with someone they become a significant part of your life and are emotionally very important to you and you start to plan your life not necessarily AROUND them but with them in it. that’s how society works and it’s also how bonding hormones work. I can’t fathom how or why anyone would want to put a man in such a place of importance in their life. I’m gay so I never have to put my money where my mouth is lol but it’s TRULY confusing and frustrating for me.

there’s a lot of focus from feminists especially online on rejecting femininity, which usually means not wearing makeup or uncomfortable clothes or supporting the beauty industry in any way. and I’m very on board with that I think the beauty industry is evil and needs to die. however I think a much more important part of femininity to reject is behavioral femininity - making ourselves smaller, apologizing for taking up space, rushing to do the grunt work because we feel bad about leaving it for someone else, not standing up for ourselves, taking on caretaking roles, putting ourselves last etc. I personally do a lot less of that than most other women seem to and in a lot of ways it makes my life very hard but in a lot of ways it’s also very rewarding. I think it’s the most evil and insidious part of patriarchal conditioning that makes all the other parts work as well as they do. I also think the fact that appearance based femininity gets so much more focus than behavioral femininity does reflects the fact that women have been conditioned to see their looks - not their characters - as the most important thing about them. which of course is untrue.

I could talk about this all day lol I have SO MANY feminist opinions I could talk about but I have to finish my paper so I’ll just say one more, which kind of ties into my last two opinions actually. I am personally not really interested in trying to be the most perfect feminist ever or get a good grade in feminism or w/e. what I am interested in is my own personal happiness and the happiness and wellbeing of other women. there are lots of things I do that aren’t 100% feminism approved but I always prioritize myself and other women in my life. I think that’s a very important feminist action if not one of THE most important feminist actions and I think it’s something every single woman has the power to do.

[saphrxn]

who made babs a femcel??

Hddhhs dam i hav unread messages on her but no notifs 😬

it was a comic idk which run where babs kept saying no to dating dick and when she finally went to his apt to say yes starfire opens the door and babs is crying shittin and yellin at her and starfire threatens to beat her ass or smth

im paraphrasing mind u, but this is basically wat happened

[serpenteve]

I honestly don't vibe with bardugo and her writing at all. If the sab trilogy were published today I doubt very much it would be an instant hit. I think the backlash would be 10x harsher if r&r were to come out today. People these day like strong female protagonists, who are allowed to be a little morally grey and not just the ideal "good girl", fmcs who are encouraged to embrace their own selves (jude, feyre, nesta and the list is long) something tgt completely fails at. That trilogy reeks of purity culture. It gives me the fucking ick with how slutshamey it is towards Alina for daring to have a teeny tiny crush on someone other than mal and how author constantly dumbs down alina to show how "mal knows the best🥰"

I think there would be more disappointed readers as well, especially since there are so many better written alternatives. I mean, I don't think Alina was particularly beloved even when the series was still being published because a lot of readers found her actions baffling or frustrating. It's like she didn't even want to be in her own story and needed a lot of other side characters, evil plot coupons, and contrived coincidences to drag her through.

You know how a Mary Sue is a character who's so contrived that the whole plot of the story and the other characters have to be distorted and mutated in order to serve the needs of the Sue instead of the needs of the story? I've sort of come to understand Mal and Alina's relationship is like an OTP Sue. See, Mal and Alina are Bargudo's OTP and nothing can come between them: not relevant plot points, not other characters, not background social issues, not character development, not death itself, not even the laws of previously-established canon.

We're not really reading a story about a young girl discovering she's got magical powers and is the Chosen One. We're reading a story about how the author's OTP got separated by her own story shenanigans but found a way back to each other through it all. Which is not the story we were expecting, nor was it particularly compelling since both characters are easily the least well-written and least interesting compared to the rest of the cast.

[doubleca5t]

You aren’t a cumbrained idiot for wanting to start an onlyfans for like, the main reason people start an onlyfans. There’s smth that rubs me the wrong way about how comfortable people are joking about how funny and insane it would be for a woman to actually want to have an onlyfans that she uses for sex work or whatever. It has very much like not-like-other-girls slutshamey energy.

Yeah I honestly think b/c sex is something that's very personal for ppl and something there's a lot of shame around in society it can be really easy for someone who's uncomfortable with the idea of doing sex work to project that onto everyone else and assume that NO ONE could ever want to actually do it. I'm kinda sympathetic to that b/c again, people have so much internalized shame around sex and some people have a lot of trauma associated with it so I 100% understand that perspective it's just that said perspective is not universal and when ppl try to make it universal (i.e. framing all sex workers as victims who need to be rescued rather than laborers who deserve rights) it leads to some bad outcomes

[normal-thoughts-official]

Different anon here but also the fact that there's quiye a lot of slutshaming in the show, and against both Izzy and Magnus. I always read the hesitance of I'm scared to sleep with Alec in case that's all he wants? Like because Magnus has such a long list of sexual partners Alec might consider sex to be more important to Magnus than an actual emotional relationship. Or even a worry that Alec thinks Magnus is easy or smth. Idk especially since Magnus has lived so long and obviously evil camille, unlearning slutshaming even towards urself can potentially take time. I'm not sure if I was completely off or if I just missed the subtext with camille but id love ur thoughts xoxox

i do agree with you! i absolutely think it's a fear that's all alec wants thing. not because alec is that type, i think magnus knows that, but i think he has internalized that that's all he's good for

like to be more specific with what i hc with camille i just get the impression that with camille he was always begging for scrapes of her love/affection, and i think the easiest way to get that would be through sex, because well, sex involves touching and intimacy. and it never quite satisfied him because the affection was still not there but it was the closest he could get. but also, sex was 100% About Camille, not about him, so if he said no to something she wanted or just generally didn't make it all about her it would be ruined, and the affection withdrawal would be even worse. so, in that sense, i think sex was something that magnus started to understand as his gateway to being loved, IF he "earned" it. not consciously, but subconsciously, as he started to internalize more and more of camille's fucked up logic

and then AFTER camille he closed off completely to romantic relationships, and also, from what i've seen, pulled away from his friends a little bit. so after that, casual sex was basically his main sort of touch and intimacy, because he drove himself away from any other kind. which helps further cement the idea that being sexually appealing = earning affection in his subconscious

(which is NOT to say that everyone who has lots of casual sex is really just a traumatized person looking for love, btw. most ppl who have lots of casual sex just want casual sex and that is valid. and i think magnus has always been the casual sex type, which is great for him. it's just that the specific context made it gain connotations that weren't good after the sexual trauma he went through)

so when alec wants to have sex he is nervous because it feels almost like a test, especially after camille. like if he fucks this up, he will lose alec. maybe not in the sense of a breakup, but maybe in the sense that his loving caring boyfriend will be disappointed in him and see that he's not good enough

which again! i don't think is in any way conscious or that this is genuinely how magnus sees alec. but trauma fucks you up

i don't think that was a slutshamey plotline, tho. i actually kind of think it's the opposite, because the "slut" was insecure and the "virgin" was confident (i hate reducing either of them to these archetypes but it's why it's a trope subversion), and also because it actually tackled how slut shaming makes a person feel insecure when it comes to non-casual sex; because slut shaming convinces people that if you are good for casual sex, that's all you're good for, and you have to be absolutely perfect

like not to give shadowhunters too much credit or anything cuz i don't think they intended it to but this particular thing was actually something i think they did right (then they immediately ruined it with the "resolution" because of course they did)

which is not to say that sh isn't slutshamey af, because we all know that izzy's sole personality trait was "being sexy" (and ~exotic~), but, u know

hope that makes it clear what i meant? doaijdsa

[antiloreolympus]

i sometimes wonder why nobody has ever been able to explain the appeal of LO to me. i dont wanna knock on the people who like it, because. i too read a lot of fetishy bodice-ripper stuff, outlander is great. but when you ask them whats good about it, genuinely and with intent to give it a try, they either jump down your throat for not loving it already or their answer is basically 'it's just good so shut up'. (1/2)

(2/2) Because, 100%, i DO want to like it. i want to see what they see. i get no amount of pleasure from not enjoying this comic, its everywhere and nothing is ever fucking tagged properly, so even if you blacklist it, it still pops up. the most reasonable person so far, with the most detailed explanation? one of my friends who draws BE fetish art for a living and likes the art style + thinks hades is villainhot. (please nobody anti-kink clown on this post im a sex worker and i WILL cut you.)

actually one more, same anon: for a comic where everyone wants to fuck so bad, the comic is EXTREMELY slutshamey. and sw-shamey. all the fans hate BitchesTM and WhoresTM (or rather, any woman they seem to have decided is a BitchTM or a WhoreTM.) the way they're violent towards minthe really makes me wonder what they would do to me if they knew that i'm a camgirl IRL. i've BEEN a booth babe at those shows, and you're already in a shitton of danger just from creepy men.

-----End of ask-----

[nyehilismwriting]

To the I-dont-like-friends-to-lovers anon, I relate a bit. it's not really the trope I dont like, but rather when it's poorly executed, which it almost always is in things I've read. there's an r/RomanceBooks thread titled "Mini rant about best friends to lovers" and shireengrune's comment can explain it better than I can

👁🏃‍♀️

I mean, any trope can be poorly or well executed, but I do agree that some are more commonly done poorly. Had a skim through that thread and I completely agree that especially in teenage/ya fiction there's a lot of "not like the other girls", slutshamey bullshit that leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

for me, personally, the thing that makes this trope is having a solid foundation for the friendship. I really can't stand romance where the characters don't seem to like each other - sure, intense passionate desire is great, but, like. someone crack a joke. it can't all be longing stares and physical attraction, that sounds exhausting. what happens after sex when you're in bed together??? what do you talk about??? what happens when you're busy with work and can't vent your passion?? you can't sustain a long tern relationship purely on horniness and have it be healthy.

in the case of interactive fiction this works well because the friendship has to be in place for the people who aren't choosing the romance route. the romance is supplementary to the friendship; hopefully, people don't feel railroaded into shaw's route because the end goal isn't necessarily to become a couple, so I can't skip over all the friend stuff.

anyway, that's what I'm aiming for - hopefully i have achieved it and will continue to do so because beyond just steamy romance, what i find satisfying in IF is feeling genuinely connected to characters and like my mc has made real friends and my choices have had actual impact on the relationships, whether positive or negative.

[icecoldbloodtype]

Go fuck yourself you ashy ass bitch. You probably eat men’s asses, I just know it. Why don’t you grow a dick if you want their validation so much????

First of all, you’re gonna come here and yell at me. Come correct and come respectful. Second of all, I don’t want anyone’s validation, not yours, not any man’s. I only want to be able to live with myself day in and day out. Third, that’s how we are. If we wanna joke around and kid, you don’t have any right to come up in my ask box. We’re joking about your unnecessary comment as if we haven’t already thought about it. Fourth, you can’t tell other people how to live their lives. We been said the stance, you’re welcome to unfollow, block, whatever. We sure are women, grown women. Capable of sorting through information ourselves and making our decisions. And don’t you dare say anything to me about toxic masculinity. Y’all love to use words and terms and phrases that are much harsher than the severity of the issue. Toxic masculinity doesn’t even apply here bc we are in fact women as you have pointed out. At least say it’s the patriarchy or SOMETHING. FINALLY, I won’t say “ashy little bitch” is racist but it don’t sound right, and the rest sounds a little transphobic and slutshamey if you ask me, so maybe you need to check how you come at people, for their own opinions that have very little to do with you might I add. This is the internet create your own space my dude.

[yousignedupforthis]

n also most of the time with the haters™️ if I know why they hate her and ESPECIALLY if it's for outdated slutshamey reasons I'm pretty confident that if u actually talked to that person about it u could convince them to change their mind just bc it'd be so EASY to lay out the facts and explain the sexism and show why they're wrong but I just. cannot. bring myself to have those conversations like I just don't have the energy I can't do it

[dreamingnaturaljelly]

Trigun 6 - 9

I wanted to watch more eps but I'm very tired so these four will do!

episode 6:

- oh hey this ep actually takes off where the previous one left off i like that. Heck yeah

- i like the style, and sometimes the art gets kinda rough which is fine in that "the action scenes look pretty so this is acceptable budget balance"-way,  but sometimes the faces are so thin it's kinda terrifying?? 

- a SANDSTEAMBOAT WHAT THE HECK YES

- Vash angst? 

- Elizabeth's design is the first one i dislike BUT since she's a shady lady i will accept it. Like boobs out is not a look for an engineer, but it's a look for someone trying to mislead someone else. I just don't think that kind of design ever really looks nice... I can't list examples from the top of my head, but I feel like I've seen similar designs - They're always supposed to be pretty dresses but then they get designed by people who have zero sensibility for what a pretty dress actually _is_? Like slapping on some ribbons isn't instantly gonna make it look good. IM SORRY THIS IS SUCH AN ANIME PET PEEVE OF MINE

- Wait meryl's twenty, does that mean Millie's like eighteen??

- WAIT IF ELIZABETH WAS THREE WHEN THIS HAPPENED THEN HOW FUCKING OLD IS VASH

- (Seriously though Vash Angst, Im ready)

episode 7: - I really don't know what this story is doing in this scene with these sex workers. Like they're treated nicely and the person who hired them for Vash is talking to them like normal people and it's a rather unsexy convo which I really like. I just don't understand why Vash, who takes 0.01 seconds to be attracted to cute women usually, pretends to be asleep. Like it'd make sense if he was in love with someone and the narrative wanted to be all "oh no i can't cheat on this person i like" or it makes sense if it was all slutshamey and it wanted to be all "oh no gross women can't sleep with many people for MONEy no no i can't participate in that" but it's ..... none of those things. It's funny because the entire show is about Vash doing dumb shit nobody gets, and I trip over this one scene where for once that isn't the point ahhaha.

- Vash adopting this random stray kid though?? a good boy

- Who the fuck is this neon jojo man

- i do love a good shounen protag who cries a lot, like ngl, my favourite thing about shounen stuff is that boys cry a lot in them.

- WAIT THIS IS A CLIFFHANGER I 

episode 8: - Vash you look like Chiyo's dad and i hate/love it as is always the case when Chiyo's dad is involved.

- Vash i appreciate your values but please don't just walk around when someone shot you

- IM WORRIED ABOUT MILLY AND MERYL WHERE ARE THEY

- OHSDJKHSDF OH THERE THEY ARE, literally during the same scene as i wrote the previous comment they return and i should not have worried bc they're Goood.

- everyone's celebrating but that one dude who was operating this ship is still dead like uhh - oh well i guess it doesn't matter if you can't steer the ship!! - oh oops i guesss it does, idk about this weird streak of predictions on my part

- THIS IS THE LEAST CONVENIENTLY PLACED EMERGENCY BRAKE I HAVE EVER SEEN, like i get not wanting guests to use them but behind searing hot pipes is Perhaps too much.

episode 9: - Millie YOU'RE AMAZING but how do you two not have money for the bus

- Also im the bg character who needed to pee very badly

- THANKFULLY THERE WAS STILL PLACE ON THE ROOF OF THE BUS FOR THIS GIANT CROSS I BROUGHT. 

- I LOVE THIS NEW GUY'S NOSE - I DONT THINK THAT TINY CHURCH REALLY PROVIDES EVERYTHING YOU NEED OUT OF A CONFESSIONAL BUT UH

- well i guess Vash and Wolfwood are now forever friends since Wolfwood just did a nice thing for kids. 

- DRAMATIC ASSHOLES THROWING THEMSELVES INTO THE DESERT TO FACE GIANT ROBOTS IN ORDER TO SAVE A CHILD, now that's the good content

- I will say this ship is already approx as good as Millie/Meryl so im excited. 

- this action priest is a disaster

- I also know Wolfwood’s VA .......... aaaaaand oh boy we got Aizen and Muraki now that's about as bad as it gets and we will ban this info from my brain right now.

- There's something i always really like about religion surviving the apocalypse. Like in this case of Christianity, you have the concept of the rapture right? And I really like the idea where like if the world ended and you could assume you got left behind by your god, you won't just abandon your faith like that. Regardless of which faith that is. 

- Wolfwood I will commend you on your good taste but please do not use Millie as a pillow to sleep against WITHOUT ASKING

Okay though what I ideally wanted was something of an overarching storyline and what i got was not only angsty implications of exactly that, but also a story that took up two eps & continuity in where we're actually at, so I'm pleased. 

[serpenteve]

ahaha similar problems in different areas, a 100 questions about any guy friends i have LIKE WE'RE WORKING ON A PROJECT FOR CLASS NOT HAVING PHONE SEX jesus calm down; and not-subtle hints about me turning 25 and hence marriage age BUT ONLY WITH A GUY WE CHOSE LAST WEEK OKAY. and i had also thought i'll be going back for a month or so hahahaha. oh and disparaging comments about my friends that they do know. my brother occasionally texts me "i told you to move out of the country" lmfao i wish i'd listened. the choice was economic burden or a mental one. *sigh*. oh and the slutshamey genya was vain because she fuckin looked into a mirror or something, or alina wearing the black kefta, or being shamed for having feelings for the "wrong boy", ughhhhhhhhh. i didn't realize why i had such a horrid reaction the books when i first read it but it's becoming clearer now. i've seen it all my life and i learned that it was wrong even though it came from people who supposedly know best. woke kids going so far they're actually echoing conservative rhetoric is fun isn't it.

omg don't even get me started on how differently my brother gets treated vs me 😭😭he can go out drinking until 3 am and its just "oh boys being boys" but god forbid i go fucking grocery shopping after 7pm without getting like 15 missed calls with messages like "omg where are you??? its so late!!you will give me a heart attack!!!1" 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

i hope you can move out before that marriage proposal bullshit starts in earnest because ooooof, the horror stories i could tell lmao

also yes!!! so many of the anti's talking points (and leigh's talking points too tbqh 👀) are just recycled conservative right-wing bullshit repackaged with a superficial paint of "progressivism" but it's the same puritanical bush-era crap underneath because some people went so far left they came right back around to the right ☠️