#it's hyper specific though they'd have to be somewhere they feel safe

[byanyan]

byan being surprisingly affectionate when they're drunk 🤔

[nullbutler]

because it's impossible to truly get into the depths of a very hyper specific situation, here's a checklist of 'am I being groomed' [specifically for ONLINE SPACES]

keep in mind that grooming, in this sense, could not be seen as inherently rigged for sexual exploitation. there are a lot of different examples. this also works as a checklist of the intrusive worry of 'am I accidentally grooming someone.' as long as you aren't doing any of that, there's no reason you'd think you would be a groomer. this isn't even age specific. it can happen to anyone at any time if they are susceptible.

none of these specifically mean anything, but together/if added together, they should be cause for alarm

any victim of this sort of behavior should know: it's not your fault, you can always recover, you deserve better friends, you deserve to be happy, you don't deserve to be isolated

I honest to god felt the same way about a year ago. And, now, while I'm still coming to terms with it, I have never been more happy and sure of myself now that I'm out of the situation. and I want the same for you, genuinely. it's isolating and bizarre.

and here: the checklist

are they showing you pornography or explicit content that makes you uncomfortable?

are they encouraging you to seek out specific pornography?

is that pornography in a moral sense illegal?

are they encouraging you to do illegal things or things that might put you in danger?

do you wonder if they ever actually care about you?

do they only talk to you when you're emotionally vulnerable?

do you feel like you need to act outside of how you'd typically act to please them?

do you feel like you need to expose yourself to things you wouldn't normally want to to please them?

do you feel isolated from people outside of the opinions they hold?

do you feel like 'if everyone knew who I really was, they'd hate me?"

do you feel like you're secretly a bad person

do you feel like you can't hold any moral stance on issues because your morals are too far gone?

do you feel like you can defend heinous actions because you (and specifically this other person) are just as guilty your selves

are they telling you that they're the only person/group of people who can 'fix' an issue you have?

are they telling you that looking at upsetting and triggering material is the only way to fix yourself?

are they making you feel as though you don't have a choice about something about yourself?

are they telling you to disregard belief systems that are in place to keep you safe?

are they desensitizing you to things (showing you something bad, showing you something bad, showing you something worse; you don't perceive it as worse)

do you feel like their values are more important than your own morals?

do you feel like you're beyond saving because of what they've told you?

The best course of action to this kind of thing isn't even legal based because that's impossible to determine/prove; it's : please leave. please find somewhere safe to go.