#it's got pages upon pages of cool facts about fish and technology

[feeshies]

i'm over 3/4ths of the way through 20k leagues and i have so many thoughts and feelings and idk what to do so i'm just vibrating like a hummingbird right now

[juvenilehousefinch]

Birds, Bonapartes, Biological Nomenclature

The more that I learn about the Bonaparte clan, the more I realize that the  family most famous for Napoleon I, the emperor and military genius, had connections to basically everything in the 1700s and 1800s. One shocking connection to me was that Tarrare (that hungry guy during the French Revolution who ate basically everything) worked under Alexandre de Beauharnais, who was married to a woman known as Rose Tascher de La Pagerie. After Alexandre de Beauharnais perished during the Reign of Terror, Rose remarried to a young general named Napoleon Bonaparte and adopted the name of Josephine.

Pictured above: the curl-crested aracari, photographed by Lonnie Huffman

Just as I never expected the Bonaparte clan to have a connection to the infamous hungry guy, I also never expected them to have a real impact on ornithology. It seems so out there, so disconnected from the politics and conquest that are usually associated with their name. While reading about birds in the past, I’ve frequently stumbled upon the name “Bonaparte” or “Beauharnais” (Josephine’s martial name by her first husband, and the last name of both of her children, who became instrumental in Napoleon’s securing of power throughout Europe)[1]. I always assumed that the names simply came from people wanting to honor monarchs that hailed from the Bonaparte-Beauharnais clan, as naming new species (well, new to western scientists) after monarchs was trendy during that time. One such example is the curl-crested aracari, whose scientific name is “pteroglossus beauharnaesii.” I mention this specific example because the curl-crested aracari is awesome and vastly underrated compared to better-known species in the Ramphastidae family, such as toco toucans.

I recently learned, however, that the Bonaparte family’s influence on ornithology is more than just symbolic! I decided to dig a little bit deeper into learning why the name “Bonaparte” appears so frequently in bird information, and I found out that Napoleon’s nephew and the son of his brother Lucien, Charles Lucien Bonaparte was a prominent ornithologist who was the authority on 165 genera, 203 species, and 262 subspecies. Learning about this was really cool for me because two of my primary passions in life are Napoleon and birding, and I find it really exciting that there’s this unexpected and kind of random intersection of the two.

According to the IOC World Bird List, among the species studied by Bonaparte are a subspecies of oriental turtle dove of Europe and Asia (Streptopelia orientalis erythrocephala), the blue-winged goose (Cyanochen cyanoptera) endemic to Ethiopia, and the Pel’s fishing owl (Scotopelia peli) endemic to Africa.

Pictured above: the blue-winged goose, photographed by Dick Daniels

Among Bonaparte’s notable contributions to ornithology is also his naming of the New World dove genus, Zenaida, after his wife. Bonaparte married Zénaïde Bonaparte, who was his cousin and the daughter of Joseph Bonaparte, older brother of Napoleon and Lucien Bonaparte. This was incestuous and nasty, but what can you really expect from European nobility? The Zenaida genus notably includes the Zenaida dove (the type species) and the mourning dove. Mourning doves are common where I live, and from now on, whenever I hear its iconic call of “hoo hoo hoo,” I’ll think of the Bonaparte family.

Pictured above: The mourning dove. “Dove by Almaden Lake” by Don Debold

Bonaparte also was an early supporter of John James Audubon, who was then relatively unknown as a naturalist. I would also like to note that Audubon grew up in France[2], and used a fake passport to flee to the United States so that he wouldn’t be conscripted into the Napoleonic Wars. (I can only imagine what Bonaparte must have said if/when Audubon told him, “Yeah, I came to this country as a draft dodger because I didn’t want to die in all those wars that your uncle keeps dragging us into.”) Bonaparte recommended him for the Academy of Natural Sciences of Philadelphia (now a part of Drexel University) while living in Philadelphia, where he and his wife moved after getting married so that they could be with Joseph Bonaparte, who lived in exile in the city. Unfortunately, Audubon’s bid for membership because George Ord, an ornithologist and member of the academy, disliked his style of painting. Well, George Ord isn’t the one amongst them who has become basically synonymous with ornithology and bird conservation in the United States, so evidently, Audubon got the last laugh.

On a slightly different note, a fascinating aspect of biological nomenclature that I had never considered before learning about Bonaparte was the frequency at which people named species after their own political leaders, like the afore mentioned curl-crested aracari. Now that royalty and monarchies aren’t nearly as relevant to most people’s lives as they were during the time of the Bonapartes, the trend has evolved so that people name species to honor celebrities and other pop culture icons. (Though, whereas before famous people had birds named after them, now discovery of a terrestrial vertebrate animal is uncommon enough that people only get bugs and worms unless they’re lucky.) Take, for example, Aleiodes shakirae, Aleiodes gaga, and Aleiodes colberti, wasps that are named after Shakira, Lady Gaga, and Stephen Colbert, respectively. There’s even a whole Wikipedia page dedicated to listing the creatures whose scientific names take after the Harry Potter series. (There’s a whole dinosaur named Dracorex hogwartsia, which translates to “dragon king of Hogwarts”! I’m jealous! … Also, read another book, smh.)

Anyway, anyone who complains that people are making everything political these days clearly hasn’t read their history. One of Bonaparte’s notable contributions to ornithological nomenclature was his naming of Wilson’s bird-of-paradise, whose colloquial name comes from Alexander Wilson, a prominent American ornithologist who laid the foundation for ornithology in the United States. The scientific name for Wilson’s bird-of-paradise is “cicinnurus respublica,” with respublica commonly being translated as “public affair” or “commonwealth.” Bonaparte wanted to deviate from the tradition of naming species after royalty and royalty-adjacent people, and instead honor the concept of the republic. In my opinion, this is disdain for royalty was entirely performative, given that Bonaparte was a descendant of an imperial dynasty, was a prince himself, and was afforded his privilege in life by the fact that his uncle seized power in France, installed himself as the country’s leader, and eventually crowned himself emperor.  

Pictured above: Wilson’s bird-of-paradise, photographed by Serhan Oksay

I’m always taken aback when I learn about just how connected the world was [for wealthy white men] before modern technology, and the influences that people from completely different geographical backgrounds could have on each other. It is important to acknowledge that so many of the naturalists from this time period were able to make such developments in their fields not because of their intrinsic talent as biologists and ornithologists, but also because of their immense connections and lucky circumstances that paved their way to success. Also, the “discovery” of many New World avian species wasn’t true “discovery” at all, because the indigenous people of the Americas had lived with those species for millennia. It was only “discovery” for westerners, who placed their mark of colonization on those species by naming them after rulers and other prominent western figures.

Although Bonaparte definitely had the passion to contribute so much to ornithology, he came from an incredibly powerful political dynasty that could bankroll his studies. He could travel wherever he wanted to and obtain any specimen that he wanted to obtain because of who his family was. Similarly, although Audubon certainly had a passion for birds and talent as an illustrator, he was only able to develop those skills through meeting the right people and having the generational wealth to do whatever he wanted in life. That’s not to say that every single ornithologist came from a position of wealth and power — the aforementioned Wilson, for example, was a weaver who lived in poverty in Scotland before emigrating to the United States and working as a schoolteacher. I don’t think that that makes the contributions of people like Bonaparte and Audubon less important or meaningful to the field (I’m also not an ornithologist so I don’t have that authority), but, as with most fields even today, it’s worth thinking about that the people who made these contributions reflect only the people with the access to the most resources.

NOTES: [1] Although Josephine is frequently referred to as “Josephine de Beauharnais,” she never actually went by that name during her lifetime. When she was married to Alexandre de Beauharnais, she went by Rose, and only adopted “Josephine” after having married Napoleon, because he liked the nickname. [2] Audubon was born in Haiti, where his father owned a plantation that he sold in 1789 when tensions began to rise between white slave-owning colonizers and enslaved people of African ancestry. The elder Audubon had a number of mixed-race children by a mistress who had ¼ African ancestry, but only the younger Audubon and his sister, who were both considered white, were moved to France alongside him.

[barb404gamings-blog]

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[camel325bloog-blog]

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[mysteryfanfictheatre3000]

Back to the Frollo, Chapter 15

Warning: extreme OOC-ness. Yeah, even more than previously. 

I tried not to shiver from the cool, damp morning air; nonetheless, I snuggled closer to Claude in effort to stay warm. Claude sensed my discomfort and covered me with a spare cloak he always kept in the carriage. "That feels better", I said at last, stroking the deep, plush velvet. Claude chuckled as he held me close; the sound of the carriage wheels and clip-clop of hooves helped put me at ease.

Past again? Or present-day America? The way this is written makes it really difficult to tell, seeing as the frequent time-skips happen sometimes multiple times every chapter and we are given no indication when.

I peered out the window and could see the chateau in the distance. It was unlike its more expansive, impressive cousins, but quietly stately and elegant. It had a warm, inviting presence, more like a home than a castle. "Do you remember the first time I brought you out here?", Claude asked. I looked at him with wide eyes. "How can I forget? So many surprises," I began as I laughed at the memory, "and I haven't forgotten how surprised YOU were, Claude Frollo!" The interior of the carriage reverberated with my laughter. Claude joined in my good-humor. "Yes...the entire day was full of revelations...and good times", he said as he kissed my cheek.

This entire thing with them in the present having an “oh-so-romantic” weekend starting with Frollo’s clothes getting stolen and turning into the flashback that takes up the majority of this story is just unnecessary. It’s dull to read, and it adds nothing to the overall plot.

I then focused on why we were making this trip. After a brief silence, I asked, "Claude, who was he, and what happened to him?" Claude knew I was referring to the soldier. With a sigh he replied, "A troubled young man...I thought I was doing him a favor, gave him a job, but..." His voice trailed off as we turned up the long drive leading to the chateau. Then, "He infuriated me with his ineptness; I had no choice but to let him go. He was totally unsuitable as a soldier."

Who, the guy who stole his clothes? Why is a stupid but ultimately harmless prank treated like a greater sin than burning down a city because of an obsession with an innocent woman?! The soldier annoyed his boss. Frollo tried to commit genocide, drown a baby, and rape and burn a woman.

I finally understood why Claude discharged his lieutenant, then Claude explained how the young man ended up on the estate. "All I know is what was reported to me: The man was injured, found by someone not yet known, and brought to the caretaker's cottage." I kissed his lips and stroked his face, my hand following the sharp profile. "Well, he won't run, that's for sure."

Why do a have a feeling this poor man is going to face some cruel consequences for this prank, and the author’s going to act like it’s justified?

Claude chuckled as he returned my kiss. Then I added, "I want to see this fool who caused you so much grief!" We broke up in laughter as we neared the chateau. Once again, my mind was engulfed in memories...more revelations...then, just as Claude said...good times...

Stop…misusing…ellipses.

****** "That was great! You tell the funniest stories", said Quasi between laughs. It started as any other Sunday; I went to morning Mass, then visited Quasimodo in the belltower. Although most of my days and nights were spent with Claude, I never forgot my special little buddy.

He’s 20-something. Referring to him as your “special buddy” is just odd.

I had just told him my famous joke about the Hoosier and the Kentuckian; I had to slightly alter the reference to 'flashlight' - Lord knows I wasn't ABOUT to explain that!

He understands the complexity of the Civil War, a conflict between two sides of a country that won’t exist for centuries. He can carve technology from said war out of wood for an elaborate present to Danisha. She reads him “New World” history on the regular; he’s probably come across the phrase “lightbulb.” It shouldn’t be that hard to explain a flashlight, even in simple terms.

We were still laughing when we heard a deep, familar voice behind us. "Such merriment up here!" Claude Frollo strode through the door; he was smiling pleasantly and carrying a basket. Hmm...he must be in a real good mood.... I warmly greeted him as Quasi set the little table. "I had a feeling you'd be here, glad I brought enough for three", said Claude smilingly. Then, while Quasi had his back to us, Claude quickly kissed my lips. Why so secretive, honey? I think he knows...

Poor, poor Quasimodo.

We enjoyed a pleasant mid-morning meal, all three of us. Quasi nudged me, trying hard not to laugh. "Go on! Tell my master that story." Claude Frollo raised an eyebrow as he sipped his wine. "A story? Ah...so that explains the recent levity", he said, then looking at me with smiling eyes, added, "Apparently Quasimodo found your tale amusing." He softly chuckled as he reached under the table and grasped my hand. Then he cooed, "I would love to hear it", while giving me a slightly smoldering nlook.

Nlook? Also, ew. Flirting in front of Quasi is just weird.

Ooh, if he doesn't quit doing that!...No wonder I give in to him!...He knows it works! I tried to worm out of it, but it was no use. "Claude, I really don't tell this a second time, but...anything to please you."

*************************

DUE TO SPACE LIMITATIONS, "THE HOOSIER AND THE KENTUCKIAN" CAN BE FOUND HERE. READ IT, LAUGH, THEN COME BACK TO THE STORY. (Don't worry -- It's clean!)

As if I care enough about this idiotic story to waste more of my time reading your “hilarious” joke?

Well, I’m an MSTer, so I had to. It was not a funny joke. It was stupid, and someone from the 1400s would not understand it. Also, she said she got it from her “crazy” sister. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say the author is probably the “crazier” one, because, you know, the Frollo fetish- either that or her sister is into something worse. What that is, I don’t want to know.

************************* Claude Frollo's mouth immediately twitched into a broad smile. He began to chuckle, then, overcome with mirth, filled the belltower with his deep, throaty, uproarious laughter. Even Quasi and I couldn't resist breaking up a second time; Claude's laughter was that infectious. "That was a riot!", Quasi laughingly said. "It's even better the second time."

Breaking up? This is why you proofread before you post, kids.

I kept looking at Claude, who clearly enjoyed my little tale. "Liked that, didn't you, honey?", I said, my sides hurting from so much laughter. Claude, still amused, took my hand into his and said, "My dear, that was one of the funniest tales I've ever heard. It's one of your best."

It’s not hers, she stole it from her sister. And it wasn’t funny, it just dragged on forever. I can summarize it right now: Man A is not catching fish, but Man B is. Man B says “come to my side of the river and you’ll catch fish. I’ll hold up this lantern and you can walk on the beam of light.” A says “that’s stupid, because you’d turn the light off and I’d fall.” Except it was dragged out for a full page.

He continued to chuckle as he turned to Quasimodo. "My boy", he said to his young charge, "I believe we shall miss this young lady; she's been like breath of fresh air."

He’s at least 20. That is not young for a child. He is an adult man.

I felt a twinge of sadness, for I knew my Parisian summer was quickly coming to an end. Fern was due back from Texas Friday; we would be leaving Paris the following week. At once, I pushed those thoughts from my mind, as I didn't want to spoil this light-hearted moment. Quasi just smiled at me, finished clearing the table, and left to perform his chores downstairs.

It just sounds like they’re using Quasi for labor while emotionally abusing him. That’s messed up.

All alone in the belltower, Claude and I looked at each other. I could sense that he too, was reluctant to acknowledge the fact that, in less than fourteen days, I'll be on my way home. We said nothing of our eventual parting; instead, Claude, upon espying a book nearby, suggested a quiet Sunday excursion.

Does this woman really need to go home? She can stay in the 1400s. I’d prefer she didn’t, but it’s up to her. She can just not go back. No one would miss her.

"I see you're interested in architecture", he said as he began leafing through the book on Indiana architecture. "Oh that", I responded. "I bought that book years ago. It's very fascinating, lots of history." I walked up next to him and pointed out the photograph of a stately mansion."That's the old Governor's Mansion, on Meridian Street; the present Mansion is just four blocks north. It's a very lovely house, inside and out." Claude studied the photo. "Very impressive", he said, then he suggested that we take a brief trip to see several fine, old chateaux not too far from the city. "I think you'll be impressed; some of these structures date back to the latter days of the Empire."

We don’t need these random scenes, and they make we wonder what this story is trying to accomplish. Normal people are bored by these random, dull conversations about topics no one cares about. Even people that just came to read about Frollo, which I’m sure there are a few of (yuck), do not care about French architecture.

Hmmm...a tour of fine French chateaux..in the country...with Claude... I've never seen much of the French countryside during my entire stay in Paris; but, I had no idea that Claude had another surprise in store for me.As we prepared to leave, Claude propped his foot upon a stool, and dusted his boots. He was wearing a short, black tunic, hose, and boots; I admired the way the purple hose clung to his long, shapely legs.Oooh, Claude...the finest legs I've ever seen on a man...

Every time I see an overly hypersexualized depiction of this man, I die a little inside.

I couldn't help myself; Claude immediately picked up on this and playfully said, "Danisha! Don't tell me you are staring at MY legs!""Just returning the compliment, baby! If I'm correct, you were staring at MY legs..." Claude Frollo laughed and took me into his arms. "Well, I've always admired feminine beauty", he said kissing my lips. "Especially yours." Claude always commented favorably on my physical beauty, and I always returned the compliment.

She puts way too much focus on her own attributes and attractiveness. No one cares about her clothes, or hair, or sexy traits.

"Well", I began as we descended the belltower steps, "you've got a nice package, Claude Frollo." My mouth curved into a wicked grin as I thought of Claude Frollo's fine physique. Hmmm...he sure has a fine body...girl, look at those legs!...hmm...wonder what he'd look like in tight blue jeans...or...Lord, have mercy!...black leather....

Honestly, I may as well be six feet under with how dead inside I feel.

Once outside Notre Dame, Claude helped me into his carriage. He looked at me intently as he settled next to me; a wide smile lit up his face. "Whatever you were thinking, Nisha," he began while he kissed my cheek and shoulder, "just be careful; you may get what you wish for." I just looked at Claude and giggled, my mind still filled with images of Claude Frollo dressed in...With much effort, I pushed the sexy visions out of my mind as we rode beyond the city walls.

I’m still just so confused about what is so sexy here! He’s a middle-aged guy, and a rapist murderer to boot. No one likes him. No one wants to have sex with him. The only person I’ve ever seen who wanted to have sex with Claude Frollo was Floricka in the musical, because she was a prostitute who was being paid to do so by Jehan as a birthday “gift” to Claude (and she did not, in fact, have sex with him. Mostly because he shoved her onto the ground and yelled at her.)

Now, I paid no attention to where we were going; I was too rapt in conversation with Claude. Then, unexpectedly, he began to ask about Jacki and her family. "What was her family name?", he asked. I thought nothing of discussing this with Claude; I thought he was just curious."Darcey", I replied, pronouncing the name in its Anglo form.Claude looked puzzled. "You mean 'd'Arcy'", he quickly corrected, pronouncing the name in its French form.He then said, with disdained expression, "Isn't English the language of your country?" I nodded yes.Claude then rolled his eyes in exasperation and sighed, "No wonder! Typical of the English to take a good French name and butcher it!"

Out of all the odd things about the 20th century, the gradual evolution of last names is what makes him angry. Not the music, food or general pop culture. Just D’Arcy to Darcey.

I managed to smooth things over by kissing his hands, complimenting his taste in jewelry, and telling him over and over how much I loved him. Claude chuckled as he returned my caress, then said, "I do believe we're here. You'll find this place extremely interesting; I've known the family for years. I'm sure they won't mind a brief visit."

Popping in unannounced is just rude.

My eyes took in the natural beauty of the French countryside; it's so much different from town. In a way, the trees and hills reminded my of home. I began having a twinge of deja vu; the main drive looked awfully familiar. I could feel my heart beating faster; my eyes widened in astonishment. Oh no! That's the chateau! Fern keeps the car on the estate! Why is Claude doing this?

Oh, boy. Another unnecessary “plot twist” is coming up, I can tell. Also, she says Jacki Darcey is named after her student. Seeing as she’s released the name and location of the town the modern-day part takes place in, which is a real place, and presumably where she teaches/lives, this is messed up. She’s telling a bunch of internet strangers an underage girl’s full name and school. That’s wrong on so many levels.

Claude Frollo sensed my reaction and immediately put me at ease. "Please don't be too upset, my love. I thought it was high time you should go inside this magnificent home." He then kissed me as he helped me from the carriage.I was still too bewildered for words; I squeezed Claude's hand as we approached the main entrance. Just then, a young man approached us from the side. He was about twenty, very tall, and with an athlete's build. Sandy haired, freckled complexion, I knew this young man right away."Kyle?", I tentatively asked; I knew this was Fern's son, but I wanted to be sure.

I thought you knew him right away, though. And you and Fern have been friends for years; how have you never met her son?

Kyle ran up and quickly embraced me; although, I was glad to see him, I was still confused. Claude greeted Kyle warmly as we went inside the chateau; I asked him why he was in medieval France."Oh, didn't Ma tell you? She wanted to get back earlier. She's inside." I turned my eyes to Claude, smiling this time instead of swooning.

The amount of unnecessary nonsense is starting to get to me. Why does Kyle exist? What does he bring to the table? Nothing. The answer is nothing. He’s just another random character thrown in there to mirror the author’s life and stretch out the insanity to way longer than it should be.

"You knew this would happen, even after you'd promise me there were no more surprises, you spring this on me." Claude laughed and put his arm around my waist."My dearest, I wanted the remainder of your holiday to be as memorable as possible", he whispered in my ear, "You are pleased, aren't you?"All I could do was kiss his lips and whisper back, "Thanks, honey." Kyle caught up with us; he began telling us of his experiences in Texas."Man, Texas was a blast! I got to shake Sam Houston's hand!" I looked at Claude in amusement, saying, "Boy, when Fern said a trip to Texas, I had no idea she meant 1840's Texas!"

The fact that this woman is using her student’s priceless inventions to take her family on vacation astounds me. Also, what sort of relationship to Jacki and Fern have? We never actually see Jacki anyway. Is she just making genius inventions for Fern and only Fern, and if so, why? Does Fern have her in some sort of slavery thing?

Claude picked up on my good-humor just as Fern approached us in the main hall."Well", she began cheerfully, "it's about time you folks got here. Minister Frollo, good to see you again."Claude extended his hand to her, saying warmly, "And what a pleasure it is to see you as well." Fern hugged me and said, "You all come on into the drawing-room. Jacki's here and there are some other good folks I want you to meet."Jacki's here? Why? And just who were these 'good folks' I was about to meet?

Jacki might be testing out her own technology that she made, after all. She’s never tried it herself, just let these jerks take it for a joyride.