#it's got a little kick to it tn

[ame-to-ame]

Late night calls with friends that make you feel warm and loved, being complimented by strangers, seeing updates from gfm campaigns where ppl can safely start their new life after reaching their goal, getting progress in things I've worked hard on like nailing down a part of a new song or getting a job offer

[dockaspbrak]

Its kinda funny how little i talk about my thoughts nowadays. I used to have so many opinions like 4 years ago

[notiddygothgf]

2/2

★ pairings: choso kamo x f!reader

★ synopsis: Yuuji Itadori truly was the best friend a girl like you could ask for, but he wasn't the only reason you came to visit. (His older brother, the devilishly handsome Choso Kamo, had always been the apple of your eye).

★ c.w.: slow burn, friends to lovers, eventual smut, childhood sweethearts, kinda, mutual pining, choso with a tongue piercing, rough sex, cunnilingus, backshots, unprotected sex, regular people au, two year age gap, PWP.

★ a/n: part two! its all smut lol. anyway, like I said, this one shot is finished (just split btw two chaps bc theres 11k words). but if u comment and persuade me who knows! I can always do another. im a whore for ur validation.

★ w.c.; 5k

best friend's brother ; chapter index

YUUJI COOCHIE <3

|  come over tn?

|  i got smth i wanna run by u first

YOU

|  omw.

You stood on Itadori’s porch, finger poised over the doorbell a month after your eighteenth birthday. You had been anticipating to see your best friend, Itadori. But as the door swings open, what you don’t expect is to come face to face with Itadori’s older brother.

Your heart drops, and your breath catches in your throat as you take in his appearance. It felt for a moment as if time had stood still since you last saw him. He had only grown more handsome during your time apart. His dark hair was done back into two messy buns, deep bags residing beneath his deep eyes. 

Choso looked absolutely breathtaking . His fitted black tee clung to his chest and arms, showing off his toned physique, while the baggy black sweats he was sporting gave him an effortlessly cool appearance.

His presence exudes a magnetic charm that takes you back to when you were 17. His half smirk sends a wonton shiver down your spine.

“Hey there,” He says, deep, rich voice sending ripples of familiarity throughout your body.

When his lips pull away from his teeth, forming syllables and words, you couldn’t help but notice a small glint of metal near the tip of his tongue. You realized immediately what had seemed so different about him, and your eyes widened in surprise.

“You pierced your tongue?” You blurt out, unable to hide your shock.

Choso nearly snorts, though his eyes never leave yours. “You’re not surprised to see me?” He teases.

“I am,” You retort quickly, trying to regain your composure. “You’re home for the holidays?”

He nods, gaze still fixed on your red face. “Just came home last night.”

That would explain why I didn’t see you, you thought.

“I’m glad you came, though, I’ve been holding onto your birthday gift for a while now,” He sighed, stepping aside to let you into the house but keeping his arm braced on the doorframe. 

You slide under his muscular arm, doing your best to ignore the way your body bristled with electricity when you brushed up against him.

You set your bag on the ground near the door, kicking off your shoes and neatly pushing them aside while Choso locked the door behind you. 

“It’s in my room,” he said, passing you.

You followed him nervously up the stairs into his bedroom, heart pounding a little louder with every step. This would be the first time you would find yourself alone in Choso’s room, and you couldn’t help but let your mind wander.

As you enter his bedroom, you drank in your surroundings – a rare sight. The room was a reflection of Choso’s personality; band tees all over the walls, sheets laid flat and clean, laundry sitting in a basket in a neat, folded pile – a subtle hint of organized chaos.

It felt both familiar and new at the same time. The air was thick with anticipation, and memories of your whirlwind summer fling with Choso came flooding back.

You brace your hands on the door. “Is Itadori home?” You ask him, hands tracing the doorframe while Choso rummaged through his drawer. You sat on his bed.

“Nah,” he replied casually.

Furrowing your brows, you tried to make sense of the situation. But told me to come over…

“Is he coming?” You tried again, voice tinged with uncertainty.

Choso rose up from the bedside drawer, extending a small box towards you with a slight grin. “Nope,” he said.

The realization hit you like a freight train. This was a fucking setup, and Itadori was the mastermind behind it all.

He wanted you alone with his brother. He knew about your fling with him. 

He didn’t notice when the two of you had disappeared to the pantry for ten minutes. 

Though the moment you returned to see him glancing at you with a curious brow raised, you knew he had finally caught on. Even if he didn’t say anything about it.

He knew.

He had set you up.

Your face was on fire. Still, you took the small box from Choso, an awkward smile on your face, and carefully undid the little bow. As you opened it, you revealed its contents – a tee shirt with Choso’s University crest on it, a glace pendant on a fabric necklace, and a box set of your favorite film saga.

Choso had never given you a gift for your birthday before, at least not anything beyond a card. Briefly, you wondered if it was his way of making up for your 18th birthday party, the one he had missed.

“Choso…” You began, a humorous grin on your lips. “Merch?”

He shrugged playfully, his gaze locked onto yours. “In case you miss me,” he replied, tone teasing yet sincere.

With a genuine smile, you leaned over and hugged him. “I love it,” you had told him.

Choso reached into the box for the necklace, gesturing for you to come closer. You leaned in, allowing him to loop the fabric over your head. His fingers brushed against your skin, your neck as he adjusted it.

He froze. You froze.

For a while, the room was quiet. There was an intense stare-off between you two. Choso cleared his throat, seemingly about to break the moment, but you had other plans. Gently, you gripped his chin between your index finger and your thumb, turning his head back to you. 

Gently, you tugged his lower lip down. He stuck his tongue out to wet the corner of his lips in return.

Your breath hitched as your gazes locked, and the air in the room shifted. Choso’s dark eyes shifted beneath your gaze, and you found yourself drawn closer to him.

You swallowed. “How bad did it hurt?” You asked, eyes fixed on the sliver of metal you had caught a glimpse of inside of his mouth.

Choso raised a finger towards his mouth, bringing your attention back to his tongue. “This?” He asked. “Hurt like a bitch, not gonna lie, but it healed up real nice.”

Wordlessly, he stuck his tongue out so you could see it up close. You examined it carefully – it really had healed up rather nicely. There was a small, silver ball wedged into the pink muscle. You wondered how it would feel on your lips, your neck, your body .

Choso closed his mouth. “I got it the first weekend after move-in day,” He explained.

“Why?” You inquired, curiosity finally getting the better of you.

He shrugged with a smirk, “Thought it would look hot. What do you think?”

“I think it looks like a pain in the ass,” You retorted. “Don’t any of the girls you kiss complain about that thing?”

“Quite the contrary,” he remarked, licking his lips. “Why’d you ask?”

You tried to ignore the jealousy that bubbled up inside of you, deep inside of you at the thought of him kissing other girls. You had to remind yourself who you were talking to here. You would have been naive to expect loyalty from a college freshman.

“Looks cold,” you commented instead. “I don’t imagine that would feel very good.”

And his eyes, those dark, beautiful cesspools of emotion, dropped down to your lips, lingering for a moment too long before returning to meet your gaze. “You wanna find out?” He asked.

“Piss off,” You scoffed, hitting him playfully on the shoulder. But the blush on your cheeks betrayed the effect his words had on you. “Fuckin’ tease.”

He didn’t move back. No, instead, he leaned in a little closer. “You sure?” He whispered, warm breath grazing the shell of your ear. “I can show you how good it feels, if you want.”

And that’s how you wound up here, with his face buried between your legs. He kissed his way up and down the skin of your thighs. You made quick work of his twin buns, tugging the ties out of his hair.

His lips curled into a knowing smirk. He lifted one of your legs onto his broad shoulder, running his tongue along the length of your inner thigh, pressing a kiss right where your ass met your legs. The metal ball on his tongue felt odd against your skin, but not necessarily unpleasurable.

You had never gone this far with him before. You were turned on beyond comprehension, hungry eyes drinking in the rosey hue that dusted his pale complexion while he sucked on your skin – hard enough for it to hurt, hard enough to leave a mark. 

Tenderly, Choso reached for your panties. He appeared to be on the precipice of a decision. 

“Can I…” He panted, trailing his thumb over the thin piece of fabric that separated the two of you. “Can I take these off?”

You nodded quickly, lifting your hips up for him while he guided the panties off of your legs. 

He licked his lips and parted your legs a second time, fully exposing you to his ravenous gaze. 

“You look like heaven,” He breathed out, voice trembling. He took a moment to admire you, smiling at the way you tried to hide your face. “Wanna taste…”

You had never done this before. The one man you had ever dared to hook up with hadn’t bothered. So you swallowed the lump in your throat, watching him get down on all fours and dip his head down between your legs like a man with his head bowed in worship. 

Though you were far from holy, in that moment, you felt like you were God.

His tongue was hot and wet against your skin, licking a stripe from bottom to top. The metal ball of his tongue piercing caught on your puffy clit, eliciting a quiet gasp. 

“Feel good, baby?” He teased, relishing in the way your thighs tensed around his head. His eyes flitted between you and your pussy – spread open for him like a buffet – pupils blown wide with desire. His pink lips parted around his tongue a second time, and this time you watched him.

Watched him press the metal ball against your clit, rolling over it in slow, steady circles.

You felt like you could die here. 

He adjusted his grip on your hips, pulling you down on the bed until you felt his nose pressing in between your folds. He kissed your heat, moaning into you.  Then, without so much as a warning, he began to eat you out like a starved man.

“Fuck, Cho–” You cried out for him, reaching down to tangle your fingers into his inky black tresses. You had never felt so good in your life, like he had been waiting for this as long as you had. You were sensitive, far too sensitive to comprehend the way your body felt, the way his tongue piercing felt as it glided over your hot flesh.

He didn’t slow down. He licked, slurped, and kissed your swollen clit, keeping that unforgiving pace up until your hips began to jump against his tongue.

“Shit,” You hissed,

He moaned into you in response, meeting your gaze with an intense fire burning behind his eyes. His tongue massaged you up to what you know would be the hardest orgasm of your life – that damn piece of metal made for one hell of a stimulant. It felt like it was pressing right up into your pressure points, deeper than his tongue was able to reach.

You felt yourself come apart at the seams, reduced to a moaning mess in a matter of minutes, riding his tongue like your life depended on it. He stopped moving for a moment, letting you grip him by the hair and ride his face. 

You couldn’t look away.

He looked amazing, fire burning behind his eyes, fingertips biting into the skin of your thighs, brows furrowed with concentration. His eyes never left yours, not even once.

You dropped your head onto the pillow, sitting back and allowing him to resume what he had been doing earlier – that thing with his tongue. 

And resume it he did, assuming a more demanding pace this time. It almost made you want to cry – the pace, the ball on his tongue – it was almost too much to bear. It felt so good.

You felt that familiar coil in your abdomen, almost like you were about to cum, then in a moment’s width he had pulled away. 

You struggled to regain your surroundings, vision cloudy and hazy with pleasure. You could hear your rampant heartbeat racing in your own ears. 

Choso leaned back with a stretch, cracking his neck and licking his lips. The entirebottom half of his face was drenched, dripping with an obscene mixture of your slick and his spit. 

He looked gorgeous, even when his face was tinted red. 

“Choso…” You breathed, letting a breathless chuckle slip between your parted lips.

He grinned back at you. “Any complaints?”

You didn’t glorify him with a response, gripping him by the fabric of his shirt and tugging him up and over you. You searched for his lips, locking them between yours in a messy, heated kiss. The taste of you lingered on his tongue, tangy and a little sweet.

“Shut up and fuck me, Kamo,” You panted with a grin of your own.

That was all he needed to push you onto your back, diving back in to ravage your lips again. It was all a rushed, passionate haze – he tugged your tee shirt over your head, you shoved your skirt down to your ankles and kicked it off the side of the bed. He leaned back with a stretch to reach for the back of his shirt, tugging it over his head and flinging it to the side. 

Your mouth nearly watered for him. He was everything you had dreamed of and so much more. Well defined arms, pecs, abs – a few tattoos littered the broad expanse of his chest. His torso tapered down into a thin, slutty waist. You let your hand slide down his abdomen, eliciting a quiet groan from him as your painted fingernails caught on his toned abs, ghosted over the large tent in his sweats that left nothing to the imagination. 

He was big. Bigger than you had anticipated. The last man you were with was about 3 inches (which was probably for the better, because it had been your first time). He felt about three times as big as that. Maybe more.

It didn’t take long for him to flip you onto your stomach, pulling your ass flush against his navel. He reached for a handful of your hair, jerking your head to the side, then uttered against your ear, “G’nna fuck that attitude right out’ta you.”

He left you for a moment while he undid the strings of his sweatpants. You couldn’t watch. You knew if you saw it, you would have doubts. 

But you found yourself looking back anyway, right as he had told you. “Wanna reach into that drawer and grab me a condom?”

“Are you um…” You swallowed. “You don’t have any diseases, do you?”

You knew you were clean because you were so disgusted by the man you had hooked up with before Choso that you’d taken yourself to the planned parenthood in town the day after to be tested. Even if you had used a condom.

Choso’s brow quirked up at that. “No, I don’t have any STDs. I get tested twice a year.”

Oh. Okay.

Again, you didn’t want to think about how many women had taken his dick before you. 

“Never gone raw before, though,” He mused quietly, hand rubbing mindless circles over the skin of your ass. 

“Really?” You asked.

“Is that a surprise?” He retorted, though he didn’t seem very hurt by your comment. “Can’t babytrap me.”

You thought about definitely didn’t think about Choso being a father. 

“Is there any way for you to, like…” You hummed, trailing off. Your inexperience had never been more disgustingly apparent. “Pull out?”

“You’re talking like this is your first time,” he laughed breathily.

You paused. His eyes widened.

“Is… this your first time?” He asked again.

“I had sex with this one guy from my class a while ago,” You said after an awkward silence. “He was small and, like, really bad at it.”

Choso seemed humored by your honest admission, though it came at the expense of your own embarrassment. “Why’d you go through with it, then?”

“I only did it to get back at you,” You turned your head back to the pillowcase below you. With a pout, you admitted, “Thought for some reason that by me having sex, I was proving something. I was younger and stupider, okay?”

“So… you’ve only had sex once?” He asked. You didn’t realize this was an interrogation. 

You nodded embarrasedly. Somehow this was more humiliating than being spread open for him like you were right now.

“You sure you want this?” He hummed, roaching forward to tuck your hair behind your ear. It was strangely intimate. When you nodded, he sighed. “We’ll go slow, then. I don’t wanna hurt you–”

“Don’t treat me like I’m fragile,” You cut him off, finally turning back to look at him. “I can take it, okay? Just answer the damn question.”

Choso leaned down over you, pinning you into the bed, kissing down your spine. “We can… do backshots,” he murmured against your skin. “Want that?”

“Mhm,” You sighed, easing into his touch.

You had waited far too long for this for something like a condom to get in between the two of you. You wanted to feel him. All of him. 

Choso rolled back, slipping his tip between your fold and swiping it through your slick. You watched him, watched the way he bit his lip at the sensation, eyes glued onto the place where you met him . 

He pursed his lips, letting spit fall from his lips. You watched it dribble down, landing right onto your twitching hole. 

That was so fucking hot .

Then, without a word of warning, he pushed the tip in. You gasped at the sudden intrusion, feeling the burn, the stretch of his girth inside of you. He paused for a moment when the tip was the only thing inside of you, brows drawn together, breaths shallow.

It took everything you had not to cry out in pain. You had been waiting your whole life for this.

But, shit, it hurt. He was big. You felt your body struggle to accommodate him.

Maybe some prep should have been in order…

Oh well, gotta see it through.

As if sensing your internal dilemma, Choso reached down, intertwining his fingers with yours. He placed a soft kiss to the back of your neck. 

“You okay?” He asked you.

No . Yes.

“Yeah,” You bit out. “Just… I ‘jus need a minute.”

“Just tell me when,” he pressed another kiss to your hot skin. “You’re doing so good.”

It took you a few more minutes to adjust to him. Every minute, he would slip in a little further, just enough to make your skin hot and flushed. You could feel him throbbing inside of you, throbbing against your spongy walls.

Eventually, you gave him the green light. And, fuck, it was like something inside of him had snapped. He slid the rest of the way in until his hips were flush with your ass. He drew out, slowly, then thrust back in again.

It felt like he was pulling you apart over and over again, snapping his hips against yours in a progressively harder fashion. 

Choso whimpered quitedly, pausing his harsh movements to change pace. You clenched around him in response, something that made him double over. “Ah, fuck,” He gasped. “You feel so fuckin’ good.”

He drew back, thrusting into you once more. You felt your whole body jolt forward with a loud moan of your own.

With wild, passionate eyes, Choso pulled out again, leaving just enough room for the tip. Then, he slammed back into you. Again, again, again – he was relishing in the way you cried into the pillow.

“Fuck, fuck,” You chanted, like some sort of sinful prayer. “ Fuck me, Cho– ”

“Might not last long if you keep callin’ my name like that,” He gasped, tangling a large hand into your messy tresses and gripping it tightly. 

You drew your brows together, allowing yourself to be lost in the pleasure, the attention he was giving you. What would Itadori think, you wondered, if he walked in on you like this – face down ass up in his big brother’s bed?

“Choso ,” You groaned into the pillow. It felt like he was scratching an itch deep inside of you – not your coochie, but your soul. It felt like you were made for this. “ Choso, Fuck. ”

Itadori slipped into his house with a quiet sigh. He kicked his shoes off, set his bag down on the floor, and then reached for his scarf. It had been one long, hellish day. He felt bad making you wait for him, but he didn’t doubt that you would have made yourself right at home in his bedroom by now. You were probably sprawled out over his bed, passed out or playing with his PS5.

He froze when he heard something come from upstairs. It sounded like furniture being moved around, or something like that. There were voices, too.

With knitted brows, he walked hesitantly towards the stairs. Was it coming from up there?

“Fuck, Choso,” He heard a vaguely familiar – albeit very muffled voice – moan. 

It was you. You and another muffled voice.

“Choso, Choso!” 

“Right there?”

“Fuck– yes! Don’t stop!”

He quirked a brow. Then, with a sigh and a dejected shake of his head, he hid away in the kitchen.

“Please!” You gasped, you fumbled around behind you in search of his hand. He grabbed it, pinning your arm behind your back and thrusting into your sore pussy from a new angle – one that made you feel dizzy. You didn’t know how long the two of you had been going at it. All you knew was that you never wanted it to end, that your mind was a blissful haze.

Your body slid up against the bedsheets – up and down, up and down, clenched fingers leaving wrinkles in their wake. 

“Fuck me harder,” You pled.

And fuck you harder he sure did. His chest rolled against your backside, pinning you into the mattress and holding you right where he wanted you. Then he fucked you a little harder.

You were all but screaming his name at that point. “Choso–” 

The head of his cock was bullying into you, beating against that spot deep within you that made your feet fly up, rubbing the back of his thighs as if to tell him ‘ keep going’.You gripped the sheets with unwarranted strength, feeling yourself drip and clench around him – hearing the obscene squelch you made when the two of you met in the middle. 

“ Fu-u-uck ,” You cried, voice high and weak.

“Quit suckin’ me in like that,” He chuckled, though it was cut short by a deep, guttural groan as you did it again. “ Shit , you want kids or somethin’?”

There was a knot in your stomach. A vaguely familiar warmth that seemed to only grow hotter by the second.

“ So perfect, so wet ,” Choso commended you, licking the shell of your ear, peppering butterfly kisses to the back of your neck. Your name fell out of his pretty lips between a cacophony of sinful noises.

You felt yourself get lost in him, craning your head around to take another look at him. His angelic face, scrunched up with pleasure, mouth hanging open just slightly, pale face dusted with pink. Inky black hair plastered to his forehead and neck with sweat. The muscles in his chest and torso rippled.

“I’ve wanted you…” You gasped, trying your best to articulate despite the stimulation he was giving you – it was almost too much. “Since I was young – fuck .”

His hips stuttered. He pulled your hair away from your neck, kissing the junction where your jaw met your neck. 

He gripped your hair to crane your head back, slowing his thrusts to long, deep strokes that had you trembling. 

“The feeling was mutual,” Choso grunted, trying to keep himself together.

You felt your eyes roll almost all the way back into your fucking head, mouth hanging open, drooling shamelessly on his pillow, his sheets.

You were close. So close.

Those deep, lust-filled eyes of him weren’t doing anything to slow the train that was coming. Each thrust, each slide of his cockhead against your g-spot brought you closer and closer to the edge.

“You feel even better than I imagined,” He growled, and you nearly came right then and there. 

He moved his hands so that your hips were up in the air for him, bringing his other arm around your neck to pin you there. When he picked up pace this time, you felt yourself drip – like, actually drip – all over him.

I wanna have his kids .

Your moans and pleas matched the pace of his sloppy thrusts. He was getting close, too. You could hear it. No, seriously, noises like that should have been criminal.

The feeling of being filled by him was driving you up the wall – almost as hard as he was currently driving you into the mattress. You never wanted it to end. 

But, shit, it was about to.

“Choso,” You whimpered. He didn’t slow down. “Think ‘m g’nna cum.”

“Yeah?” he gritted out, breath fanning over your neck and your cheek. He reached a hand down, releasing your neck to rub slow circles on your puffy clit – a speed that felt foreign compared to the harsh strokes he was giving you, but not entirely unwelcome.

That was all it took to have you hurling towards the edge, ass jumping up and down to meet his thrust in the middle, to take as much of him in as you possibly could.

“Yeah, shit,” He gasped. He was trying to hold on for you, but you were making it realhard. “G’nna cum for me, baby? Lemme fuckin’ hear it.”

You were all but throwing it back on him, mindlessly chasing your release like a bitch in heat. The moment you got the green light, your orgasm snapped. You cried out his name one final time, arching your back all the way into the sheets, spasming wildly around him. The shock tore through you in waves.

Your hips jolted with hypersensitivity while he fucked you through it.

Choso’s hips stuttered. He twitched, like he couldn’t take another minute of this, then he remarked, “That was so fuckin’ hot, holy shit – fuck, wait–”

He slid out of you rapidly, leaving you to gasp at the sudden loss of him. The next thing you know, he was stroking himself to completion. He came with a broken whimper of your name, spurting ropes of warm cum all over your back.

You took a moment to catch your breath. He did the same. A few moments, actually.

The silence that followed was deafening. He groaned, running a shaky hand through his hair. You collapsed into the bed.

He had left the bedside at one point, though only for a moment before he returned with a warm wash rag. He cleaned his love paint off of your spine.

Then, tossing the rag into his hamper, he collapsed next to you.

You chuckled breathlessly, throwing your arms around his neck and kissing him with all of the strength you had left in you (not much). “Shit…” 

“Shit,” he agreed, licking his lips. “You were great.”

“You were better,” You said. “I don’t think I’ll be able to walk home tonight, though.”

Choso shrugged. He reached down, pulling the covers over the two of you. “Sleep here, then.”

Sleep here.

You recalled many nights of him walking girls to the door. Choso never let girls stay the night.

He wants me to spend the night with hiim.

You laughed, reveling in the irony of it all. Years and years of pining led you here, to this. “What would Itadori think?”

Choso threw an arm over your waist, pulling you closer to his side. “Fuck what Itadori thinks.”

Your world went black a moment later.

Your eyes fluttered open as you lay in the aftermath of a steamy evening with the man of your dreams. Choso, your best friend’s brother. The one you had fucked.

His lips were pressed into the slightest pout. You watched him snore, taking note of how peaceful he looked while he slept, taking note of the way his tousled black hair fell into his pretty face.

With a contented sigh, you reached for a shirt that lay nearby – his shirt. The one he had taken off yesterday. You slipped out from beneath the covers, padding quietly out of Choso’s bedroom. Your feet were quiet against the wooden steps.

As you entered the living room space, you contemplated sneaking into the kitchen in search of some much-needed sustenance. It had to have been later in the afternoon at that point – you assumed that you and Choso had been sleeping for a few hours, at least. Your stomach grumbled in agreement.

Just as you were about to step into the familiar kitchen, however, you froze. There, sitting at the table, munching on a Kit Kat bar like it was no one’s business, was her best friend. 

Itadori.

“Hey…” You said rather awkwardly, heart racing. “You’re… you’re home.”

Itadori quirked a brow, looking you up and down curiously. His eyes noticeably lingered on your neck, right were you had a sneaking suspicion Choso had marked you with his lips and teeth. 

“Hey,” He finally said. “You two finally done up there?”

“You heard that. Of course you did,” You sighed, dropping your stiff arms and plopping into the stool next to him at the kitchen island. You faceplanted into the cold surface, groaning, “How much did you hear?”

“Enough to know my brother’s good in bed,” Itadori took another bite. He placed a heart over his chest, feigning an exaggerated cry of, “ Choso– oh, Choso, don’t stop, I’m cu–”

“He told me you weren’t coming home,” You groaned, even louder this time. You were glad that Itadori couldn’t see the nasty shade of red that had painted your features.

“He lied,” Your best friend chuckled, crumpling the wrapper of his Kit Kat bar and tossing it in the trash bin. He stood off, dusting his hands on his pants, reaching for his phone. Then, like nothing had happened, he said,  “I’m ordering Chinese. You want?”

You raised your head at that, taking a slow glance at the room around the two of you. “I could go for some beef and broccoli…”

You loved the bond you had with Yuuji. Unbreakable, truly. Sometimes a little toocomfortable. This was, undoubtedly, one of those times.

Itadori dialed a few numbers into his phone. He paused, raising his brow again, “I think you’ve had enough meat tonight, don’t you?”

“Shut the fuck up,” You sighed, though you laughed a bit at his joke. 

Images of Choso flashed through your mind. The image of him spitting on the tip before slipping it in. The image of him tangling a fist in your hair, craning your head back to look at him while he pounded you into the mattress.

With a faint smirk of your own, you remarked. “You’re probably right. I should save room for all of the meat I’m gonna be eatin’ tonight after you go to bed.”

“Please shut up,” Itadori sighed, running the palms of his hands over his exasperated face. With a shake of his head, he held the phone up to his ear. “I really don’t want to think about my brother putting his dick in you. Not while dinner is also in the question.”

You shrugged. Your phone buzzed. Turning it over, you read the new message you had received.

CHOSO    just now

Whered u go beautiful

Your phone chimed a second time.

CHOSO    just now

Steamed dumplings n fried rice plz

You turned the screen over with a grin, telling Itadori. “Your brother wants steamed dumplings and fried rice.”

“I’d say fuck my brother, but tonight’s game night and I don’t want you taking that literally,” Itadori sighed. Still, he unmuted himself, telling the woman on the other side of the phone, “Another order of fried rice and dumplings, too, please.”

Yuuji Itadori really was the best friend a girl like you could ask for.

a/n: hi there my little steamed dumplins <33 lmk what u thought!!! I love reading ur comments and dms. again, this is a one shot, but I would totally drop another part if yall would like -- gotta show papa choso some love. comment and lmk what u think pookiesss

comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

I obviously do not own jjk or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

taglist: @missphanosaur18 ,

wanna join the ' choso kamo ' taglist?| bfb; chapter index

[toruro]

LO$ER=LO♡ER

pt 2

tags: smut (18+), toxic relationship, pet names (princess)

a/n: someone get me out of this toxic!svt brainrot. or maybe send me more asks abt it. either work. if this is incoherent i'm sorry i've been smoking too much tn

thinking about your toxic best friend mingyu.

he's not too bad actually—at least that's what you tell everyone. you wonder if you're maybe trying to convince yourself of it too.

he's the sweetest, really. gets you flowers for any big occasion, treats you for every small accomplishment—he got you the coat you'd been eyeing for ages when you finally got the guts to kick your shitty roommate out, bought you your favorite box cake when you got that small promotion, brought over your go-to boba order when you told him you finished all of your work early and had an extra free day, and—you get it.

mingyu's the best best friend anyone could ask for, honest! which is why you're just a little extra lenient with him when he scared off your last talking stage.

it was an accident! mingyu swears! he tells you he didn't even know that you and jimin were talking like that. (you ignore how there are texts between the two of you from just three days earlier where you told him you were going on a date. mingyu's forgetful, he tells you.) one thing led to the next and the last time you and jimin were hanging out with your group of friends, mingyu might've gotten just a bit too close.

jimin called things off with you the next night. said he can't be friends with someone who's got a puppy on their trail.

all your other friends bring it up too. how you're both just so close. how you've known each other for so long. how you look so nice together. sometimes you shake your head and deny it. tell them "it's not like that!" that you and gyu are "just best friends!"

it's the little things, you've realize. the little things, that lead you to believe that mingyu isn't as sweet as he lets on.

more often that not, mingyu beats you to the punchline, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pressing your cheeks against his, grinning when he says, "well who wouldn't love their best friend when it's her."

you talked to him about it after the first time he said that. told him he can't let other people think that you're dating 'cause you're not. mingyu got a little pissed. pouted a little. told you that you were being a shitty best friend, 'cause a shitty best friend wouldn't push him away like this.

you haven't brought it up since.

maybe it's because you're scared of being a shitty best friend, as gyu put it—scared of losing him (because are you really anything, if not mingyu's best friend?). maybe it's because you don't wanna fight it anymore.

maybe it's because you're just a little too fond of the feeling of his big, veiny hands running all over your body.

"you like it princess?" mingyu chuckles when he clambers on top of you on his couch, pressing you into the soft cushions. you two share a wet kiss as you throw your head back, legs spreading instinctively to allow him to clamber between your legs.

slowly, he lips leave yours and begin to trail sloppy kisses down your chin, jawline, finally settling on sucking at your neck. you're not quite sure how you ended up in this position, but as your mind grows hazy, you vaguely remember the argument that got you here.

(mingyu might've blocked the guy you were talking to on instagram, from your account at that. you aren't sure how he got your password, but mingyu swears that isn't the point. why don't you trust him? don't you know that he just wants what's best for you? he knows that guy wasn't good enough for you anyways. don't you trust him to know what's best for you? c'mon, let him prove it to you ...)

"see princess?" he murmurs, slipping his hands beneath your shirt and riding the flimsy cloth over your stomach and bra-covered tits. he lifts his head up to gaze down at you, cheeks flushed as your back arches upwards and into his touch as he continues to rub his rough palms all over your torso and soft tits. "i know what's good for you ..."

the words reverberate in your skull when he starts to tug at the waistband of your sweats, pushing them down only a little so he can rub his fingers over your clit through the fabric of your panties. when you moan loudly, mingyu grins.

"there she is ..." he grunts, rubbing tight circles over the growing wetness before slipping his shirt over his head. "c'mon ... lemme be the best best friend," he pleads, and you don't even have a moment to think about what you're doing before you're shoving your pants all the way down so they pool at your knees.

"shit, gyu—please!" you cry out, eyes the painfully large tent that rests between his legs and under his jeans. because if mingyu is anything, it's your best friend, and you'd be damned if you let anything—anyone—get in the way of that.

read pt 2 here!

[starcrossedreaders]

Professor! Leon x Shy college student reader au. The reader noticed Leon is hanging out with his friends in a local bar. At first she wants to say hello to him but decides not to as she didn’t want to interrupt him.

Later on, she got drunk and got harassed by some strangers, Leon came to rescue her and brings her home.

Fast forward in the morning, reader realised she’s not in her room but instead at Leon’s place. Safe to say she’s panicked, awkward and embarrassed 😂 (maybe some Leon’s pov too? If it’s not too much, thank you)

Author's Note: This is so ugh- Thank you for requesting, Enjoy!

Warnings: alcoholism, catcalling, nasty men (excluding Leon), panicking, sexual thoughts, no NSFW THO puking\

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Finals were kicking your ass right now, walking out of your last class of the day your phone vibrated in your pocket. Sighing you checked your phone to see your friend texted the study group you are in.

'Let's reward ourselves tn, Meet up at the Libary at 8!'

Everyone seemed excited to go to The Libary, which was a local bar downtown that was a common meeting place for the college students in the area. Pocketing your phone you walked to your car and headed home.

You should really be home right now, studying for your psychology class. Not nursing a fruity cocktail while watching your friends play darts. The alcohol rushed to your legs causing a slight tingle numbing them. Resting your heavy head in your palm your eyes roamed around the bar taking in your surroundings. Analyzing reoccurring faces and new ones. When you made it to a dark corner of the room your body froze as you notice an ash-brown head of hair with broad shoulders and a slight scruff to their face; Mr. Kennedy, your psychology professor.

Mr. Kennedy was one of your favorite professors, besides his strict ways and long lectures he was quite knowledgeable and very easy on the eyes. You two had built a solid student-teacher relationship with flirty comments from time to time. You would be lying to yourself and everyone around if you hadn't thought about him in the late hours of the night. The thought of him bending you over his desk 10 minutes before a class had you clenching your legs together.

Chugging the rest of your drink, high off of liquid courage and lust you hopped off the bar stool getting ready to walk over and say hi to him, maybe talk to him about his day.

When walking over to his table, you just noticed the 3 other middle-aged men sitting with him. Everything from your body faded as your nerves overtook the feeling. Walking to his table your eyes locked in with his sharp blue eyes. You began to drown in them the longer you looked.

Your cheeks turned red as you broke your stare by looking down and waving a little as you passed him. After he was out of your sight you were quick to speed up your pace and rush outside to the back patio.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ Leon's Pov✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

He for sure thought his eyes were deceiving him. There's no way his best student was drinking during finals week, especially when she had to take his final tomorrow at 9 in the morning. He could see the alcohol take hold of your body as your legs wobbled slightly and red dusted your cheeks.

He also thought he was going insane when he saw you walking in his direction, there was no way his shy student who barely talked in class was going to talk to him.

Chris's loud laugh broke Leon from his thoughts as he watched you slightly wave at him before walking off. Sagging his shoulders he downed the rest of his whiskey before standing up to get another drink.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧Readers Pov✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

The hours seemed to blur as the drinks seemed to mush. You could already feel the hangover edging on as you waited outside for your ride. Your arms crossed over your stomach as you rocked back and forth on your heels. The cold breeze swayed your hair as a shiver ran through your body. You regret wearing the shorts and tank top you have on.

You pulled your phone out to see how far the Uber was when you heard a low whistle to the left of you. Popping your head up you were met with a group of boys.

"Damn, who left you all out in the cold. You can come with us angel and we can warm you up real quick," His implication had you cringing a little bit.

Deciding it was best to just ignore him you brought your attention back to your phone.

"Come on pretty lady, don't be like that," You could hear his heavy steps as he approaches you.

You have never sobered up as fast as you did at that moment.

"I'm ok really, but thank you for the offer," You gave him a small smile in hopes that he and his group of friends would just leave you alone. It did quite the opposite, his other two friends walk up next to him.

"Come on princess ju-"

"She said no," A deep voice rumbled behind you as a musky scent floated to your nose.

"It's not that serious man," The boy lifted his hands up before he turned and walked away.

Craning your head you were met with piercing blue eyes and ash-blonde hair.

"Professor Kennedy-" Your words slurred as you lost your balance. Leon was quick to catch you, wrapping his hands around your body.

"How about, you come home with me? How does that sound?" You pushed out of his grasp as you shook your head no.

"Nonoo, it's fine I have an Uber coming,"

"Princess, you are too drunk to ride in an Uber alone. I insist," A shiver ran through your body as your teeth chattered against each other.

Leon was quick to shrug his leather jacket off as he wrapped it around your shoulder. He placed his hand on your lower back and led you to his Jeep. He opened the door for you as you tripped up into the car. Leon could only laugh as he buckled you up and walked over to his side.

You slipped your arms through his jacket as his scent overwhelmed your senses. Taking a deep breath in you could only smile as his citrus scent eased your nerves. When Leon got in the car you were quick to turn to him and smile. "Do you know you smell really good."

"Oh yea? Thank you, princess," Leon smiled as she started his car and drove off.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ Leon's Pov✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

By the time Leon had made it home, your head rested against the window as soft snores left your mouth. Turning the car off he twisted his body to admire your peaceful form. He couldn't believe he took one of his current students home or the fact that his heart was racing. This isn't right, it's strictly forbidden to have a relationship with his students but for some reason, the thrill of it got the best of him. The thought of getting caught made his dick strain in his pants. Shaking his thoughts away he rubbed his face as he quietly got out of the car.

Leon took a deep breath before he opened your door and caught your slumped body. Carrying you in his home he was quick to place you down in his bed. He took your shoes off and tucked you in. He then, left two headache pills, water, and a trash can next to his bed before he changed real quick and slept on the couch.

Rolling over, his arm hung off the couch as his mouth was open. The sun peaked past his curtains shaking him from his slumber. Fluttering his eyes open he brought his hands to rub his eyes before he heard a thump coming from his room.

Leon shot out of his bed as he rushed to his room to find your head in a toilet.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ Readers Pov✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Rolling over your head pounded as your guts turned. The sheets had a familiar smell that you couldn't put a name on, all you knew is that it wasn't your bed. Shooting up, your hands gripped the bed around you as you took in your surroundings. The plain walls and blue sheets were not familiar to you. Nerves filled your body and wrapped around you. Your head pounded harder at your sudden movement and your stomach climbed up your throat.

Throwing the sheets off you you tripped out of the bed and slammed the bathroom door open. Falling to your knees you let everything out in the toilet. Praying to the porcelain gods in some stranger's bathroom was not how you wanted to spend your last day of university but here you are. Memories of last night flashed between your vision, you hoped and prayed that you didn't end up with the group of guys last night. The thought alone had your stomach rolling again. You pushed your face back into the toilet as you felt someone gently move the hair from your face and rub your back.

That familiar scent wafted towards your nose as the soothing circles calmed you down. Falling back on your knees you looked up to see who you spent your night with.

"Professor Kennedy? Oh my god- OH.MY.GOD," You shot up from your position and slammed the toilet lid shut as you flushed it.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," Your face grew red as panic filled your veins at the mere thought of your hot psych teacher taking care of your drunken self. Your breath caught in your throat as all of the possibilities of what happened last night ran through your head.

"I'm going to be sick-" You fell to the ground as you empty whatever you had left in your stomach.

Leon was quick to pull your hair back again, "Hey hey hey, it's ok. Nothing happened, I just took you home with me last night so nothing could happen to you. I didn't want you to ride in a Uber alone that late," You nodded your head before you puked once again.

His hand rubbed circles as he let out a laugh, "How about this if you have breakfast with me, I'll let you pass your final,"

Falling back on your knees you lolled your head to the side as you looked up at Leon. "It's a deal,"

"Deal."

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Taglist: @hermizery @alewesker

[lesbiankimdahyun]

Summer Session II

700 words

CW: N/A

A/N: um, guys Y/N is a lewser and Sana knows it

[Sana x F!Reader] 

Requested: Yes

You texted with Sana sparsely throughout the week. It was a delicate dance for you and your growing anxiety. You didn’t let yourself reply to her more than twice a day, desperate to appear cool and aloof. After enough pain-staking back and forth over a couple days, you had plans to meet her for a drink on Friday night. On the train ride back downtown, your phone buzzed. You nearly dropped your phone trying to pull it out of your pocket to see who had messaged you. 

Chae 🍓: are u ready for your (friend) date, superstar!!! 

You: hi! no! why am i THIS nervous 

Chae 🍓: oooh you liiiike her now 😏

You: say that again and i wont tell you how it goes tn 

Chae 🍓: OKAY okay sorry 

Chae 🍓: but if she becomes your new bestie over me i’m fighting her 

You: NEVER i promise

You tried not to gulp cartoonishly when you arrived at the bar Sana had suggested meeting at. It was a three dollar sign type of bar, and your meager internship wages told you you’d only be drinking a single drink tonight. 

As if reading your mind, Sana insisted the first round of drinks was on her. The two of you sat up at the bar sipping drinks that used ingredients you’d have never found at any of the cheaper college bars closer to campus. Stupidly expensive, but the gold leaf that swirled in your glass was pretty, at least. The conversation between the two of you started out with safe topics like school and internships, but Sana, you found, was fun to talk to. Your conversation with her continued to flow naturally into other topics like music and shows. You were just about to ask her what her availability looked like for next week in hopes of meeting up again, when she turned to face you. 

“So, Tinder, huh?” she asked, a playful smile on her face. 

You felt your face burn. Sana signaled for two more drinks, giving you a millisecond to try and compose yourself before you died of embarrassment right there in the dark, moody bar. 

“Uh, yeah. It– it was mostly to try and make friends,” you stammered. Sana nodded slowly. 

“Mostly, sure,” Sana said. “Have you had any luck? Or– are you seeing someone?” she flipped her long brown hair over her shoulder casually, and the crisp, fresh scent of her hair products felt intoxicating suddenly. “I can never remember who in our cohort does and doesn’t have a significant other.” 

“I haven’t,” you said, maybe a little too quickly. “And no. I got stood up for the first time ever like right after moving here…” you paused to take a sip of the fresh drink in front of you. “Kinda took the fun out of wanting to find someone,” you said. 

Sana frowned. “You’re way too cute to be stood up,” she said. 

You blushed. “Oh, well–” 

“Forgive me,” Sana cut you off. “If this is like, entirely too forward…” she nearly drained her glass as she raised it to her lips to drink. “I know you said you’re using the app for friends and that’s cute, but I think I saw your profile say you’re a…” her gaze found yours. “...service top?”

“Oh god,” you cringed, mentally kicking yourself for putting that on there in the first place. “You saw that?” 

“Yes,” Sana said, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “Personally, I’d love to see for myself sometime.”  

“You– what?” You almost laughed, thinking she was joking at first. But then Sana gave you a once over and you nearly fell over. She wasn’t kidding. 

Wordlessly, Sana flagged down the bartender. She paid for both rounds for both of you. As she signed her name on the receipt, she looked at you again. “Are you free tomorrow night?” 

You nodded dumbly, moving to stand when she did. She hugged you. Had her perfume always smelled that good? You couldn’t remember now. When you pulled away, you must have had a deer-in-the-headlights expression on your face, because Sana giggled. 

“See you tomorrow,” she said, brushing your arm lightly. “I’m free after seven. Wear something cute.” 

[jackhues]

oops - b's version

note: this takes place in 2030, bee's 22 years old and graduated uni. she's in med school

summary: in which sid accidently spills who bee's boyfriend is

buttercup's world! au masterlist

buttercupcrosby

liked by _connorbedard, mackinnon29, stephmarner & others

buttercupcrosby: life lately <3 (we're not including all the times i cried during med school)

view comments

kevinkorchinski: wow i can't believe you taught him how to put your shoes on -> buttercupcrosby: that's actually him taking my heels off and then giving me his shoes bcz i was tired -> kevinkorchinski: s i m p -> buttercupcrosby: okay? and what about it? -him

userone: nah girl's been soft launching THE SAME GUY for years now -> usertwo: we're never gonna learn who he is

e.malkin71geno: ooh what you reading? -> buttercupcrosby: percy jackson!!!!!! -> e.malkin71geno: the greek one that make you go crazy -> buttercupcrosby: ... okay that's fair

mackinnon29: i've noticed this isn't the spam, which means my comments will not be super unhinged -> userthree: NO NATE YOU NEED TO GO UNHINGED WE NEED TO KNOW WHO HE IS -> mackinnon29: please don't yell at me -> buttercupcrosby: he's tearing up rn -> mackinnon29: i'd watch my words if i was you

penguins: that's our baby crosby -> buttercupcrosby: AYEE PENG-WIN TN?? -> penguins: don't shoot the admin 🏳️ harass the players

stephmarner: ooh my girl's glowing 🥰 -> buttercupcrosby: mwah

userfour: WHO'S THIS YT MAN AND WHY'S HE WITH MY GIRL??

userfive: we're never finding out who he is are we 😭😭 -> usersix: frr! it's been yearsss

---

TRANSCRIPT FROM THE TSN PODCAST, GUEST STARRING SIDNEY CROSBY (3:09 - 7:35)

podcaster: switching gears a bit, you have a daughter, correct? she's in med school i think.

sidney: yeah, buttercup, bee, bumblebee - she's got lots of nicknames *laughs* she finished university, doing a double major in sports management and biochemistry. which is pretty tough, especially since she was on the hockey and lacrosse teams. but she loved it, and she somehow managed to graduate in four years, so i'll take it! she's going to med school in chicago now, trying to be an anesthesiologist.

podcaster: wow, that's - that's a lot

sidney: *laughs* it's a lot, yeah

podcaster: fans noticed that you've been going on vacations more during the summer. is that to get bee's mind off of school, because you're not playing anymore, something else?

sidney: oh, it's a mix of everything, i suppose. bee's real busy during the year. she went to stanford for four years, now she's in chicago - like over the last few years, she's just had a lot on her plate. so yeah, we like going out a lot during the summer. but we spend time at home too. we all play monopoly together, we go fishing, they push me in the water-

podcaster: i'm sorry, they push you in the water? you're sidney crosby, i thought mackinnon idolized you growing up

sidney: not anymore, bee made sure of that. it's worse because they got connor involved in this too, so it's three on one. i mean i used to hold the fact that i'm a better hockey player, but they've been breaking records and i'm out of the game now, so- *shrugs*

podcaster: *laughing* oh man, this is gold

sidney: what're you gonna do? i mean, nate's been here too long for me to kick him out, and connor - it doesn't look like he's leaving any time soon.

podcaster: connor bedard's been having a great career, especially over the last few years. do we have you to thank for that?

sidney: no, no, he's a great kid. he's really good at hockey, he was amazing even during his earlier seasons. but i think the media was a little bit crazy about him, and once they calmed down, he got a chance to flourish. nothing to do with me, he's great on his own

podcaster: but you still like showing him up?

sidney: *smiles and shrugs* i mean i don't go up against him in the league anymore, so sometimes i gotta do it in the garage

END TRANSCRIPT

---

---

buttercupcrosby and _connorbedard

liked by mackinnon29, calemakar_, kevinkorchinski & others

buttercups: bet you never saw it coming

view comments

pinned buttercupcrosby: thanks dad 🙄 -> userone: THANK YOU SID

_connorbedard: you're not getting away from me -> buttercupcrosby: i fucking love you so much you have no idea -> usertwo: 😭 you don't get it 😭 he's using a percy jackson quote 😭😭 she loves those books

userthree: HOL UP! THEY'RE ENGAGED?? -> userfour: well they've been together for like three years now

mackinnon29: i'm so happy i can say whatever i want without checking whether it's ur spam or regular

mackinnon29: you guys are disgusting -> buttercupcrosby: disgustingly cute

marner_93: ugh we're finally allowed to talk about it

penguins: congratulations!! totally not crying at how big baby crosby is, nope -> e.malkin71geno: i am -> buttercupcrosby: aww geno🥺

[g-xix]

☁️Graduation | Rayasianboy_

Summary: [continuation of THIS fic] Just when it appears your relationship with Ray is kicking off - you have to come to rocky terms with the fact that Ray has to return to Taiwan to finish school... And although you spend days and nights crying and missing your boyfriend - what when you get the chance to go to his graduation ceremony and reunite with the boy you love from across the world?

Notes: Long, 6.8k workcount, continuation of "MOVIE NIGHTS" Ray fic!!

Following AMP movie night whereby Ray had asked you on a date, Ray asked you out on another date as soon as you returned home after eating together within a quaint little diner. 

"You're very pretty." Ray had surprised you with the blunt compliment, making you choke on your mouthful of food extraordinarily gracefully as you looked up to make eye contact with the handsome boy sat opposite you. And much to your what-would've-been-surprise-but-didn't-surprise-you-anymore, Ray remained in a dreamy state despite your shocked reaction - his head tilted and resting within his palm as he looked dreamily up at you whilst you ate your burger n fries, having opted for just mac 'n' cheese, himself.

"C'mon, you can't just shock me like that," You smiled coyly at the boy sat opposite you, gently nudging his foot under the table as you reached over to steal his paper cup and take a sip of his drink through the straw. He didn't even mind - only picking it back from you once you'd hydrated yourself to take a sip for himself.  

Ray's date had exceeded your expectations without a doubt.

From visiting an arcade and battling it out for winner of highscore at the hoop game to Ray (supposedly 'letting' you win and) losing, yet putting your tickets together regardless to buy a dopey stuffed bear holding a read heart to his chest - to then stopping to have a one on one match at one of the free basketball courts along the pavement, where you both squealed and ran alongside each other, dribbling, smacking the ball and firing long range shots on a whim. Cutest moment undeniably being when Ray held your hips, counting you down before boosting you up and holding you in the air so that you could achieve your first ever dunk.

And it all lead up to the end of the night where you'd found yourself in a laid-back diner, eating your favourite comfort foods and laughing within the booth where you sat opposite Ray and could finally talk to him and see his true personality and hear more about him.

You came back with the dopiest smile on your face, as well as his number saved into your contacts under-

Ray🙈🥰 U enjoy tn?

Y/n Oh so much Didnt expect u to pull off so much within just one night

Ray🙈🥰 What can i say Im just showing u what u deserve

Y/n STAWWWWPPP 🤭🤭🤭 Ur setting the bar high im gonna have to pull off something diabolical for our next date

Ray🙈🥰 Save it for another week i got plans for us next Sat if ure free to come out again

(and let it be known you audibly let out a groan of pure delight at the fact Ray had already planned something more for you two to do together, and affirmed that he was just as entranced and interested in spending time together as you were)

Y/n Just tell me when and where and trust me blud im there

Ray🙈🥰 Is that a from a song

Y/n by JME my love ofc

Ray🙈🥰 💔💔 Thought we were exclusive 😔😔😔💔

Y/n That comes when u ask me to be ur gf bby

And you were left on read after that message. Rather disappointingly. Ray did however follow up the next Saturday, knocking on the door to your room holding tulips and wearing an almost embarrassed smile as he completely melted your heart with the gesture.

And just three dates later, Ray had asked you to become his girlfriend.

Over the moon was an understatement.

Kai wasn't the most comfortable with it - but found content through your relationship nonetheless, making a series of streams including  "AMP SETS RAY UP ON A DATE WITH MY COUSIN!" and  "GIVING RAY THE TALK.", giving the two of you both horrible experiences as well as wonderful memories together.

And Agent and Duke of course took all credit for catalysing your relationship. 

However, as with all good things, you saw somewhat of an end to the relationship barrelling straight towards you. 

Ray's return to Taiwan.

You realised that Ray wasn't going to stay forever; his family, school and duties still left in his home country... But that didn't make it any more difficult saying goodbye. For God knows how long.

The night before he left, Kai had let him stay in your room for the first time. Generally Ray had to sneak into your room, given that Kai had made a strict no NSFW policy between you two and didn't trust Ray to stay in your room at night... But the night before his departure, Kai couldn't stand in the way of his clearly upset best friend and cousin.

You spent that night burrowed within Ray's arms, hands fisting together bunches of the shirt he wore as your arms wrapped around his sides, pulling you as humanely close as possible to his body whilst you inhaled that scent you'd grown accustomed, and horribly attached to. It was unbelievable, just how attached you'd become within the space of a mere few months. But that didn't make the withdrawal feelings any less real as you clutched onto the boy, your body curled into his whilst his hands ran through your hair - hand pressing into your scalp and allowing his fingertips to massage the headache away, relieve you of any tension and try to at least give you a fraction of leeway to allow sleep.

Which didn't come.

Until sunrise, when Kai, Agent and Fanum were all awake and moving like zombies around the kitchen until you and Ray came down the stairs morosely. Only when you were in the car, where Agent drove with Kai in the passenger seat - Fanum in the back alongside yourself and Ray - did you manage to catch a brief ten minutes of sleep, head resting against Ray's shoulder with your hand clasped in his. 

Twitter

AMP KAI Didn't like these mfs getting allat close initially but they cute together even ill admit 😕

Fanum cute until you hear how loud she's snoring bro AMP KAI She isn't even snoring rn LMAO ur tryna get her in trouble 🤣

Duke Dennis @agent we did this bro sad we're watching them run into they first problem 😔😔😔 un1ver53 WAIT WHAT'S HAPPENING WHY ARE THEY HAVING PROBLEMS N SHI grace_xix Ray's going back to Taiwan 😔

AMP updates Big up our boy Ray for getting a gf, sad for these mfs they were so well matched 🥺

The first time you properly cried though, wasn't when you were saying goodbye at the airport. Fanum and Agent gave Ray a final dap-up, Kai extended a hug before their special handshake... And then it was your turn to say bye. You'd spent all morning together, all night and the past week together, too. 

But you didn't have a single tear slip whilst you hugged Ray goodbye, your arms linking around his body whilst your head found purchase against his chest, his own arms linking around your shoulders whilst he whispered into your ear.

Pulling away slightly, Ray looked at your face - from your eyes to your nose to the beauty marks n freckles n every little feature of your face, all the way down to your lips. Both of you did. You studied his face like this was the last time you'd ever see him and your final chance to study it before a test. Ray quickly glanced behind, and you assumed that Kai and the others had turned around to give you a moment.

Because for the first time, Ray's eyes flickered over your lips, staring for just too long... Before you felt your eyes closing gently, his lips on top of yours - melting against yours- meeting within a kiss sweeter than life itself, as you closed the eyes and savoured your first ever kiss.

When you opened your eyes?

He was gone.

You didn't process that he'd gone through the air control and was boarding his flight. Gone for god knows how long. You didn't even process it as Fanum tapped your shoulder and told you "he's gone, we're going back to the car now...". Nor did you process it during the silent ride home.

It was only when you got home and back to your room where you saw the bed, still unmade as you'd left it - where upon the pillows sat that dopey bear holding a bright red love heart.

The stuffed toy that you'd won with Ray at the arcade.

And picking it up, you noticed a sticky note attached which read...

Don't miss me too much :)

That was what broke you down in the end.

Hand clasped over your mouth, your palm couldn't even muffle the sobs that fell from your lips and tears that ensued as you balled yourself up on the bed and pulled the reminder of your boyfriend into your chest, holding it so dearly and closely like it meant the world to you. And it even smelled like him.

Your fingers brushed over your lips.

First kiss.

Your first kiss with your first boyfriend - your first love - and it was all a blurry mess of emotion: mourning, grieving, upset and depression over the loss of your relationship... Lost to a long distance relationship riddled with seven thousand kilometres between you two and timezones which ruled your contact with one another.

Your lips were still tingling. Alight with static electricity and soft from the chapstick that had transferred from his lips to yours. 

Maybe he had your lip oil still on his lips. Maybe he could smell the peppermint lip product and he was thinking of you in that moment, too. 

And you still had butterflies, this fluttery sensation in your stomach at the fact that it'd finally happened with him. Your first... kiss. You broke down into tears all over again as you realised: that's something you can't do again. At least you can't do it again at your own will. You'd have to wait a very long time before you could kiss him again.

A knocking at your door eventually caused your sobs to quieten into sniffles as your controlled your breathing and called "Everything alright?" to the recipient on the other side of the door.

It was Agent. And he met you on the carpet, comforting you as he entered and sat on the floor besides you - your backs both pressed against the bedframe as you curled into a little ball on the floor and cried and cried whilst Agent pat your back and just stayed with you. 

"You're long distance," You sniffled, rubbing your eyes and looking up at Agent. "You and Jalon are long distance, how do you manage it?"

"I cried jus' like you at first," Agent comforted with his smooth Canadian accent. "I think it's different at the end of the day 'cuz me n Jalon live four hours away, so we can always take a short flight or long drive to see each other, but... You n Ray have a whole fifteen hour slight between you guys..."

The seeming impossibility of the situation that Agent proposed broke you again and had you in tears once more.

As the days turned into weeks and weeks into months however, you found that having seven thousand kilometres between you and Ray was... Difficult, of course, but manageable, too. Between Ray's schoolwork, your job working for AMP, and the relentless timezone and WiFi issues - the two of you managed to thrive within a long distance relationship, utilising facetime and discord to have dinner dates (you ate dinner whilst he had lunch) and catching up on the day to day, keeping in touch with one another's lives.

Your relationship sure wasn't easy, but keeping in touch with the help of modern technology sure did help. The only thing that your phone and laptop couldn't do was hug you like Ray had. And that was the greatest tragedy, you felt.

You missed Ray's hugs.

Cuddling him, to be more specific. It was just so nice having a friend like him who was available whenever you were in break between helping filming, cooking and getting up to shenanigans with the AMP crew... Just being able to cuddle on the sofa and talk, or even hold hands and just watch something together. Despite being your boyfriend, he was also quite literally your best friend within the house whilst he was also a guest. And that meant that you had technically lost two key relationships when Ray had left.

Yet between the sorrows and sulking, you'd also set yourself your own goals... Which included constructive learning, in preparation for when you next met Ray. Learning what? Learning Mandarin; the main language of Taiwan which Ray spoke, also. Duolingo had helped massively, as had watching some of your favourite films in those languages.

You were nowhere near any good with the language. But it felt good knowing you at least had some basic vocabulary. Very basic vocabulary, but vocabulary nonetheless. And besides, you still had all the time in the world to learn more of the language to try and surprise Ray with, for when you next saw him.

Which turned out to be less than half a year later.

"YO, CUZ??" The pitchy shout from the floor below your attic room could only belong to one person.

"WHAAAAAAAT?" You yelled back as your cousin, midway through diffusing your hair - surprised you heard Kai's shout over the noise of the diffuser.

"COME DOWN - I GOT SUMM FOR YOU!"

"YOU STREAMING?"

"YEAH, COME DOWN THOUGH!!"

Pulling on a zip up to cover your little pyjama top, you descended the stairs into Kai's room - greeting the happy chappy sat in the iconic seat... Until your attention was subverted to the screen where Ray was happily grinning from a Discord call.

"AHH, RAY!" You waved ecstatically at your boyfriend, happy to see him despite calling him just that morning.

"Hey poo-kie," Ray grinned as he used the pet name he'd seen on TikTok and started using ironically... Until it wasn't ironic anymore, and that was just what you'd say at one another. Kai found it disgusting and let it be known by loudly gagging behind you. "Kai, you wanna tell her?"

"OH, right, right," Kai clapped as he remembered something which Ray urged him to spill. You quirked a brow at your cousin, also glancing at Ray to see that he was sat with a wide grin in his chair. 

"...What...?" You looked between the pair in suspicion, almost scared there was a prank awaiting.

"So, as we know - you are a high school dropout." Kai made you roll your eyes as he once again brought up your education status on stream. "But Ray is still in high school, right?

"Right, yeah." You nodded, indicating that you followed what Kai was saying, too busy processing his words to begin jumping to conclusions about where Kai was going with this...

"Well, Ray's finishing high school next week - y'know, he graduating and all..." Kai paused, letting you process the words before dropping: "So next week, you wanna go Taiwan n see him?"

Your heart quite literally dropped from your chest into the pits of your stomach, every emotion and physical feelings just being zapped away from you in shock.

See Ray again.

Then everything came rushing back, your eyes widening and body unfreezing as your neck SNAPPED to turn and look at Kai incredulously before looking at Ray's own ecstatic expression on the screen. 

A scream left your mouth whilst Kai laughed and surprised you even further by taking out a confetti cannon and - BOOM - letting it off so that the room was covered in gold confetti, at least somewhat disguising your face to let yourself compose yourself and try not to cry on stream.

That night, immediately after you left Kai's room - you took Ray from Kai's screen to call him whilst you tucked your excited self into bed, before cracking on with packing the next day - throwing in a variety of clothes and appliances and all sorts. 

And the week passed quickly. It practically zoomed by, although those moments when you lay down and thought about Ray and how you'd be seeing him all so soon... Those moments were long. The rest of the week, though? Absolutely flew by.

And on the day of your flight, you woke up three hours earlier than you had to. At 4am. One AMP shoot later, Kai and yourself got the airport and boarded the (annoyingly, DELAYED) plane which flew you to...

Toronto??

You fell asleep across one of the terminal waiting areas of Toronto, to tired to deal with whatever complications were going on, and woke up with the sorest back about an hour later, to Kai shaking your shoulder.

"Fuck do you want, man," You groaned as you squinted up at your cousin, white halo almost surrounding his head from the disgustingly bright white lights that shone down on him from above.

"I got your luggage back from the missed flight to Taiwan n we're getting a layover to San Francisco - then going Taiwan. That's it, you free to go back to sleep but we leaving in two hours."

Kai pushed the bill of your cap back over your eyes to block the bright lights and let you return to sleep as you heard him sit on the seat besides your head. And so of course, you did indeed return to sleep.

"Okay, so our luggage isn't here." Kai spoke to to the zombified you. Having gone on 3 different planes within the last 24 hours, you were half-dead, and being told that your luggage hadn't arrived with you...?

"Okay, well, when is it gonna be here?" You asked groggily.

"...Maybe two or three days?"

You could've cried.

At least there was a nice hotel waiting for you that Kai had booked, an hours drive away. Which meant that at an ample 10pm in Taiwan, after having practiced the tiniest bit of broken Mandarin with the driver and in a short conversation with the hotel receptionist... You made it to the hotel room.

Just the one hotel room, for yourself and Kai.

And much to your exasperation, there was just one bed.

"Kai you fucking idiot." You could've (and would've) punched him right then and there if you weren't so tired. Kai was just as unamused, however.

"What the fuck, I asked for an en suite room - two separate rooms with a connection in the middle-" Kai sighed. "Fine, okay. You take the bed imma take the couch."

"No way," You shook your head. "You paid for this shit you get the bed imma take the couch."

"-I don't care just take the damn bed-"

"-NO, that's so out of order from me-"

"-Bitch I do not care, just take the damn bed and go to sleep-"

"-I REFUSE-"

"-If you don't take the bed Ray's gonna get pissed at me for not."

You paused. In your tired, mind-numbed state of consciousness, hearing Ray's name was like getting a low dosage injection of dopamine and tranquilizer simultaneously. It stopped your arguing for a moment - which was just about long enough for Kai to throw himself onto the couch and claim it as his.

That sorted that debate out. 

They next day was the day before graduation day. Problem? Yes: neither you nor Kai had your formal clothes you'd brought for the event.

Which meant that whilst Kai was able to go get a suit tried, tailored and taken away within just under two hours, you had a far greater problem in finding a shop that sold anything graduation-worthy, given Kai had also bigged it up to be a fancy  event.

And you didn't want to wear something underwhelming. 

Frankly - you wanted to absolutely wow  Ray. Have him speechless. Have him realising just how much he'd missed you.

Shopping alone had you just slightly nervous as you walked through designer store after designer store with one of Kai's cards, having had him insist to put it on his card given that this was a big day for you and he didn't want you thinking about money when you were already nervous enough about seeing Ray again. 

Kai met up with you after he had his suit fitted, hand holding a hefty, designer bag that had you cringing because you hadn't bought anything so far.

"Where's your dress?" Kai furrowed his brows as he met you in the town centre.

"I don't know where to go or what to get - nothing's working-"

"Like Hell there isn't anything for you." Kai rolled his eyes. "C'mon, imma get you sorted in the next half hour just you wait n watch-" And with that, Kai began marching into the mall to the opposite end of where you'd been searching, beginning the joint scavenger hunt for a decent dress, regardless of your protests and groans of don't worry we don't have to - I'll just go out later tonight if you're tired-.

But surprise, surprise - Kai hadn't lied.

Just a half hour later you'd found a dress that was better than the one you'd originally packed.

A pale yellow - Spring-like to match the weather - with a midi length and drop down waist, a-line shape helping to emphasize what you could with your figure. Though the dress' square neckline was lower, showing cleavage wouldn't be a problem, as you also purchased a small cardigan to pull on top of the outfit for when you were in public and didn't want to be disrespectful.

And with your dress purchased and dinner bought from a nearby convenience store, Kai and yourself returned to the hotel room and waited for the morning of Ray's graduation day.

Stood in the bathroom straightening your hair whilst Kai brushed his teeth - having just woken up whilst you were fully dressed with your makeup applied and just your hair left - it was clear that one of you were more nervous than the other. You could've cried, as your fingers played with and tried to section the stubborn hair into a smaller piece, frustrated as ever at the bump in your hair that just wouldn't flatten.

"You know Ray would love you with a paper bag on your head," Kai tried to console you as your shoulders dropped, at a point of giving up. "Even if your hair isn't cooperating you still look... eh, average enough with your dress and face."

You tried not to roll your eyes, knowing that was a compliment from Kai, even if it sounded backhanded. Still, you couldn't help but feel nervous to meet your boyfriend - the separation being so long now that you felt instinctive fear that maybe time and change would pull you apart. Even if you'd still kept in touch through your Discord and Facetime calls, you couldn't help but fear that within six months everything could be different between you two in person.

"Thanks, I'm just... nervous about it.." You sighed, and watched as Kai nodded empathetically and went to wash his face. "Hey, you aren't excused just for complimenting me - you still gotta straighten the back."

Kai groaned as he realised his tactic hadn't worked - returning to behind you to run the iron over the back of your hair and take some weight off of your hands as you put smidgens of highlighter over the corners of your eye and the tip of your nose.

"There, am I done?" Kai thumped the iron against the bathroom counter and let you swish your now long and lengthened hair to check the back in the mirror. You were pleasantly surprised by the fact that Kai seemed to have gotten it all - and even somewhat reduced that bump in your hair.

Your nerves still persisted, however. Especially during the Uber journey into the city where you were meeting Ray, so that he could take you to meet his parents before the graduation ceremony. You were so scared in fact, that you couldn't even bring yourself to reply to the message you watched pop up at the top of your screen; a text from Ray, asking "You on your way?"

You shut your phone off as you felt another nauseating wave roll over your body as the car turned, only further creating an undulating sickening feeling to course through you.

"Ray asked why you aren't messaging him back," Kai notified you from your side, not looking up from his phone. "What you want me to tell him?"

"Nothing, realistically," You gulped, your voice coming out strained. And Kai looked up to see tears in your eyes - the cool nonchalance melting away instantly as he saw his baby cousin getting emotional. "Hey hey hey, watchu crying about, kid? Talk to me, I know it's Ray but what's on your mind?"

"I'm j-just-" You took a deep inhale to compose yourself, patting the makeup around your eyes to make sure no tears came out and smudged your base. And your words came out shaky as you managed not to cry, but still had your emotions flying through the roof, making you some emotional sorta wreck. "I just really don't want anything to be different between us. Because we were so perfect back in America, and I'm scared our relationship will have changed a-and.... That's maybe the worst possible outcome I could think of in this situation.."

"Y/n, you big, dumb idiot," Kai's voice was so soft and juxtaposing to the mean words that you knew were well-meaning. "Ray's feelings won't have changed for you - you guys have been calling every damn day that you aren't working and he isn't in school working his ass off. Shit won't have changed and if it has... Well, you'd rather know now so that you can end it and move forwards sooner than later.."

Kai's words felt like a punch to the gut. They had stopped your crying - sure - but that didn't take away from the emotional vaccuum that they'd instilled into your body at the thought. You hadn't even contemplated what you'd do if  Ray had changed, because you were still clinging onto that sliver of a chance, hoping that you and Ray could still be... Well, what you were. 

The thought of change had scared you - but you hadn't prepared to combat the change that could exist. 

And that was an even scarier realisation.

The taxi rolled to a stop to the side of a road, and you realised that you had arrived.

You pat the skin around your eyes to prevent the tears from spilling - taking a deep breath to suck your emotions back and prepare to step out.

"You okay?" Kai turned back and checked, hand attached to the car door.

"Not really, but I'd rather just... get out instead of feeling this horrible dread."

Kai opened the door, getting himself out and standing in the sunshine - beckoning you out. It was almost blinding as you stepped out - going from the darkness of the blacked-out taxi to the brightness of the natural light that fell from the Taiwanese sky above. 

And raising you nose to the sky to take in a breath of that beautiful day - your eyes closed - and you heard the yell of your name from not too far away.

The way it sounded, the way it was pronounced, the way it rolled from the speaker's tongue... Your subconscious knew who it was before your brain pieced it together - and reacted instinctively with goosebumps forming over your arms and a shiver to run down your back - your eyes flickering open and only seeing a blur of something rushing towards you, before-

You body was enveloped. 

A scent that you hadn't experienced in all too long bombarded your senses and flooded your brain as you inhaled - making your head spin with hormones and neurones firing excitedly as there was a familiar squeeze around your waist, palms flat against your sides as you were squeezed tightly to the chest of someone that you had longed for for six long months...

"Ray.." You breathed his name, and couldn't believe that you were saying it to someone right in front of you. You know, without the 3 second lag and having to raise your voice so that the microphone would clearly pick up on it and carry your voice.

"Y/n," He said your name back at you - just as gratefully as you had uttered his name. And at the way your name rolled off his tongue like honey, you felt the need to see him again. To see his face, in more than a few pixels, at least.

You pulled back - holding Ray by his arms at an arm's length away from you and examining his face once more.

Those beautiful contours of his face contrasted to the dark hair and his gorgeous, dark irises - the vivid pink of his lips that curved into the widest, most sweet of smiles...

It was impossible to tell who leaned in first at that moment, but when your lips met his, you felt as though butterflies were swimming in your stomach and all around you - flowers blooming from the cracks of the pavement beneath you and blossoming into the most gorgeous of colours and sweetest of scents to match the pure joy and screams of excitement that filled your body as you met your lover in a kiss for the first time since you'd left him.

You could feel the familiar flutters, all those same emotions rising and flooding your body as you'd felt before Ray had gone through the airport and left for Taiwan. But this time, you felt no sadness - no depression and no mourning towards the idea of losing Ray - because he wasn't leaving. His lips interlocked with yours and they weren't going anywhere, as you both savoured the first kiss you'd had in those long six months.

"Hi Ray." 

You pulled away with darkening cheeks as you heard your cousin's warm and... tentative greeting, after the display of affection that Kai had clearly not been expecting.

And although you had embarrassment over your face as you pulled away and opened your eyes back up to see Ray's face - your sweet boyfriend pulled away with an expression that looked as though he'd won the lottery.

"Meet my Mum and Dad, Y/n... And Mum, Dad - this my girlfriend, Y/n."

You were internally screaming with joy as you vacated the kitchen and crossed from there into Ray's room, having successfully met his parents and had it affirmed that they liked and respected you as the girlfriend of their son. 

"That was good, right?" You turned to Ray and whispered, trying not to let the parents hear your happiness over the fact that they simply liked you. Having spoken a word or two of (broken, but attempted) Mandarin to them, watching Ray's Mum's face split into the largest smile told you everything you needed to know about whether or not she liked you. And Ray nodded in agreement, pressing a kiss to the back of your head - truly unable to not fawn over you - having missed you so much since he'd last seen you and been able to spend time with you.

Given that Kai was still occupied with Ray's parents in the other room, yourself and Ray had a moment to yourselves for the first time since you'd met, to talk in his room. Just the two of you.

"I've really missed you, y'know."

Ray was the first to lay down on the bed - shuffling along the single bed so that there saw enough space for you to lie down besides him - allowing him to wrap his arm around your shoulders to make sure you wouldn't fall off. You liked how he held you close - letting the warmth of his tee-shirt penetrate through the thin material and warm your body. 

"God, I've missed you too," You sighed and let your body curl into his - your head nuzzling into the soft fabric covering his torso. Your hand found itself to the hem of his shirt, coming beneath and touching the skin beneath - feeling the smoothness - the realness of his presence besides you. It still felt surreal. "So... You're graduating today."

"Hell yeah I am," He said, and you could hear the wideness of his grin as he spoke. "Never gonna have to tell you I can't call because I'm at school, ever again."

You smiled, though you felt a slight fear run through your body as he mentioned your communication through calls once more.

"What's your plan, post-graduation...?" You found yourself asking, trying not to let your voice waver nervously. 

"In Taiwan when you graduate you have to do military services." Ray spoke and your heart dropped - pulling away from him and eyes erratically looking at his face to find any hint of humour. Ray noticed the terror in your expression and his lips split into a smile. "So I'm gonna move to America instead."

As if your brain couldn't be anymore overwhelmed, you felt faint at the magnitude of the information Ray had thrown at you in the last thirty seconds.

"What?"

"I'm coming to America." Ray explained. "To live there. That's the plan."

You sucked in a deep breath, not really quite believing everything you were hearing. "Wow, that's... A lot.."

"A good a lot. I'm excited to live and stream in America.. And we'll get to see each other so much more. We will probably live together in the AMP house too. Like when we met."

You felt your heart warm at the mention to when you first met. That fateful movie night. And how from there things only got better and better, until Ray had to return to Taiwan... And now he'd be coming back - to America - for the foreseeable future. It was all so perfect.

"Remember our first date? Where we went to that arcade together?"

"Yeah, and then we went to the basketball court.."

"And you lifted me so that I could dunk for the first time ever-"

"Then we went to that diner and you ate like you hadn't eaten in the last week-"

You disguised a laugh and pushed Ray at his comment whilst he gave a hearty laugh at his own joke.

"Not funny," You grumbled, yet still couldn't stop the smile that sat happily on your face - looking back retrospectively at all the reasons you loved your Ray.

And then you two lay there. Against one another. Just enjoying the feeling of being alongside one another - not in an awkward silence - but an appreciative one, where both of you were just happy to co-exist there in that moment.

Ray's arm around you cuddled you and held you close, and nurtured that warmth in your chest - like a glowing fireplace in your heart that was fuelled by the ability to feel Ray and have him hold you. Like old times

"D'you wanna come on a date after the graduation ceremony?" Ray asked, and you raised a brow, shuffling to try and look up to him - craning your neck and only making it hurt from the induced strain. You looked back and untensed your neck muscles - a better idea coming to you - causing you to roll your body over so that you were lying on top of Ray instead, making him groan as your body let it's weight press into his front.

"Don't act like I'm too heavy." You rolled your eyes at his dramatic-ness as he feigned being unable to breath under your mass. "What do you mean go on a date - you got something planned?"

"Not really," He shrugged. "But I could show you the city? We got a good city here - there's good food places - and I wanna show you around - show you some stuff - Ooh, I could show you-"

You zoned out to his rambling that turned excited as he talked through everything that he could show and do with you. God, he was so sweet. You couldn't stop yourself from cutting him off mid-sentence to press your lips on top of his and stop his rambles by just kissing him again. 

Now that you two were private in his room and away from anyone seeing you - you had the opportunity to deepen your kiss with Ray. So that's exactly what you did.

Your hand scaled up from your side to Ray's hair - letting your fingers tangle within those straight blades of hair and tugging at them ever so slightly, pulling Ray's lips away from yours for just a second before you moved up to reattach your lips to his with your own lips parted - your boyfriend picking up on the change of speed and intensity and letting his tongue slot between your parted lips. 

What was just a sweet kiss merely a few seconds ago when you'd initiated it because something uncontrollably passionate as you let your lips move against his, your heartrate quickening furiously at the way your kiss seemed to heat up more and more until-

You pressed your hands to Ray's chest to detach for a moment, watching as his own eyes fluttered open - dazed from the pure intensity of the kiss you'd both endured.

"Whoa," Was all that fell from Ray's lips as he looked up, stars practically dancing in his vision as he (like you) realised he was breathless from losing himself in your make-out session. As he looked up, all he saw was your face with a ring around it from the light-bulb behind your head. "You're so beautiful.. I wanted to say this earlier when I first saw you getting out the taxi... You look so beautiful - so much more pretty when I get to see you in real life and not just on screen."

He planted a kiss on your face. To the tip of your nose.

Then to your cheek - then your other cheek - and your temple - and the centre of your forehead - and the corner of your lips; Ray couldn't contain himself as he peppered kisses all over your face until you were a giggling mess beneath him, wiggling and trying to push him off whilst he smothered you with his love - only stopping when he got a pillow to the head which made him burst out laughing - momentum of the pillow forcing him to bounce back against the bed and lie besides you once more.

And as conversation drained into the next conversation, you found your jet lag catching up to you whilst Ray gave a long ramble, your heart warm and body light - atmosphere comfortable and relationship seemingly perfect as you allowed yourself to shut your eyes...

And sleep in the arms of Ray for the first time since he'd left.

BONUS BIT!!!!

TWITTER

AMP Kai has made a new post!

AMP KAI: when are these mfs not sleeping next to one another 😭 (update post for everyone asking: yes, Ray and Y/n are reunited)

open replies

AGENT00: @/dukedennis LOOK THEY'RE TOGETHER AGAIN OMG    Duke Dennis: We made this shit happen. Good they're reunited.

Chrisnxtdoor: Finally Y/n can stop crying and telling me how much she misses Ray    AMP KAI: done her wrong 😭🙏

mekselinaurr: RAHHHH YAYAYAY BEST COUPLE ON THE INTERNET BACK TOGETHER 

AMP updates: Mental it's been 6 months since they met, feels like yesterday we saw Y/n on stream asking who Ray is 🥹

Y/n.username

Y/n.username: He did it 🥹💝

Rayasianboy_ Number 1 ☝️🫵     Y/n.username     im so PROUD OF YOU <333     and i know ive said it all already but that ceremony just has me emotional      let me be            AMP KAI           Can't believe u cried at one point LMAOOO                  Y/n.username                  SHUT UP THE INTERNET DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT

AMP fanpage They're their greatest supporters that's so cute

Y/n.stan She's never gonna shut up about him now that they're back tg (they're so fkn cute)

AMP Davis House is so much nicer without you. Don't come back.      Y/n.username      atl i have Ray here 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️           Agent00           Cmon Davis u should know her priorities after we've had to endure her crying ab Ray for the last 6 months

I didn't write ab the acc graduation ceremony because if I had, this oneshot would've taken another year to write. so please accept this instead <3 

Hope you enjoyed reading!! Feel free to interact- whether that be a comment, vote or follow! Requests open, feel free to submit what u wanna see... Much love!!

To see more for AMP and other YouTubers, here's my MASTERLIST

And here's my WATTPAD, with 50+ more oneshots to read

p.s. Customise which Oneshots YOU want to be tagged in by submitting your preferences on THIS GOOGLE FORM

RAY TAGLIST!!!!:

@mekselinaurr, @martini4lyfe, @certainsaturn, @pinkpomelo, @daniiixoxo

@mekselinaurr, @blackbat2020, @kennysimp101, @speedybeta,

@zomburexia, @zandrax, @supaprettyg, @gyu-baby, @spiritualz, @un1ver53

@daniiixoxo, @koritoji, @smh-anon, @lila702980, @star-32,

@speedybeta, @mym3lodii, @kxllanxtdoor , @agakisz, @ajshabsxxwife,

[spaceacealex]

Trip report!!

For those that have been waiting, sorry! I got home and immediately had to go help with a family thing. But here it is!

First, was the obvious. We had to drop off the baby boy with my parents. He had a great time with the family and was very dirty, stinky, and sleepy when we got back.

So where were we? We went to see the eclipse! As many of you know, My wife proposed to me under totality in the 2017 solar eclipse. So she surprised me with time off to travel to this last one on 4/8!

We flew to Nashville, TN and rented a car so I could scratch my road trip itch. We visited her family in KY, then went up to Cairo, IL for the event.

THIS is the public library in Cairo. It's an absolutely darling building, built originally to be a library and still proudly serving that purpose. The gals who were manning the counter were sweet, knowledgeable, and so welcoming. They had goodie bags with moon pies and starbursts and collected the eclipse glasses when we were done with them so they could be sterilized and sent down to Mexico for the next eclipse. So lovely to talk with and they welcomed us to spend the eclipse on their lawn with some local families. So we did!

We had a little picnic, chatted with some of the families, and got to watch totality in a tiny little town with so much character I still smile just thinking about it.

Hopefully you don't expect us to have top tier eclipse photography lol, but these are great for us! I got to kiss my wife under totality and it was hella romantic.

Then I got to drive more....then Kara got to drive because there were a ton of accidents and the three hour drive back to Nashville took more than six hours. So uh, my motion-sick self was struggling with the stop and go traffic.

But when we got there, we had a great night and then day walking around Eastside Nashville and pointing out the arcades I was going to take Kara to that evening.

That didn't quite happen.

Because the first stop we made in the arcade crawl is where we stayed all night.

No Quarter, the pinball arcade I now have a hat for because it's so friggin cool. We got to do many cool things there. 1)They had excellent drinks and in true Oregonian fashion I got to try the local cider and judge it. (it was good!) 2) I kicked Kara's ass at pinball. Very important. 3) I got MY ass kicked at pinball by literally every other person in the building. Also very important. Because 4) I got to play in a pinball tournament hosted by Belles and Chimes, specifically for women and non binary folks!

How did I, notorious nerves-haver and not a multiplayer pinball player join this?

5) I got to meet Quinn Hills. You know, @quinnhills ? Yeah. I'm still so giggly about it.

Hi. This pic is me, many drinks in, just absolutely giddy getting to meet (and hug!!) one of my favorite artists.

She's so sweet, so kind, and asked if I wanted to join the tournament.

Remember: do what beautiful women ask of you.

I am still kicking myself because I dropped the cliche, "your music has helped me through some really hard stuff." I mean, its absolutely true!! But I had told myself I was gonna be more eloquent than that. Oh well. I would blame the cider, but I was super excited and nervous before that, so I think I'm just a little goofy.

Kara also was happy to meet the woman who's music I had been blaring for that whole six plus hour car ride back to Nashville, and she's agreed to play pinball with me at our home bar! Major win!

We stayed until one in the morning, Kara ordered pizza to the hotel, and we had safe flights back home the rest of the day.

It was such a fun trip and I'm still losing my mind at all the little bits of it.

When I stream next (soon) I'm sure you'll hear about all this again. Along with my breakdown of eclipse conspiracies I've spent far too much time analyzing. <3

[boag]

We’re at the new house finally…. We spent all day moving out of our old house and then tn after the landlords came and locked up my mom went to walk the dogs and get some cigs and I was just sitting out front waiting . And there was this little calico cat I’d never seen before just hanging around me acting all friendly and sitting next to me but then it left and I didn’t think abt it again…. Until my mom got back with the dogs and that same cat just ran up so fast completely unprovoked and started literally trying to fucking kill my dogs so we were like screaming and trying to get it away from them and it started attacking me too and my mom had to literally kick it across the street and I was bleeding like crazy all down my left leg from several different wounds 😭😭 so my mom and I grabbed all our shit and walked across the street to sit at the church and our neighbor who’s a pastor went into his house and got some alcohol and came out and cleaned me up<3 but then when we were alone again waiting for our Uber to the new house my mom saw the cat running towards us again all crazy so she took out her gun and shot in that direction and the cat ran off into the sewer . Literally the most insane thing that’s happened to me in a WHILE and that’s saying a lot considering the crazy couple of years I’ve had 😭😭😭

[cevansbrat0007]

would the barber household be enjoying the superbowl tn? is reader mostly excited for rih’s performance or the actual game?

They would be! Reader doesn't care much for football - it's not really her thing. Although, everything she learned about the sport she learned from Andy.

That man was more than happy to teach his Baby Girl all about the inner workings of football and the NFL while they were dating. He even made sure she had the best seat in the house - nestled safely in the comfort of his lap.

But she will definitely be watching tonight to see Rihanna. She wouldn't miss it for the world. And the kids are excited too. All the kids like football, especially A.J. and KitCat.

And as part of their Superbowl Sunday celebration, the Barber Family whipped up homemade nachos, pizzas, and chicken wings. Everybody got in on the action too - before spreading out a blanket on the floor and enjoying a makeshift picnic just in time for kick-off.

And Andrew Barber will be sure to remain on his best behavior, as long as the kids are in the room. But once they get bored and wander away with a belly full of food, all bets are off. Baby Girl is gonna find herself right back in her man's lap for the remainder of the game.

He likes having a little something to hold onto when things get tense.

[pragmcts]

| ella purnell   &   she/her  | Congratulations, LENA   LOVELESS survived   another   night.   The   town   would   certainly   feel   less   safe   without   a   them   close   by.   Not   to   mention,   we   can’t   lose   another WELCOMER, plus   they’re   only  27  years   old.   Crazy   to   think,   it’s   been  FIVE YEARS since   their   arrival,   though   in   a   place   like   Oblitus   it   can   feel   much   longer.   Good   thing   they’re   staying   at   the  COLONY HOUSE.   Almost   like   it   happened   yesterday,   they   still   remember TELICO, TN,   and   where   they   came   from.   It’s   no   secret,   they   were  SHE WAS ON HER WAY HOME FROM PICKING HER BROTHER AND FATHER UP FROM THE BAR AFTER GETTING KICKED OUT FOR A FIGHT  when   they   came   across   the   tree,   and   is   still   keeping   them   up   at   night.   Truth   be   told,   they’re   awfully SOFT HEARTED  and  NON-CONFRONTATIONAL,   but   they’ve   survived   this   long.   Well,   it’s   almost   day   light   again,   maybe   they’ll   play  HOW TO SAVE A LIFE by  THE FRAY  this   time.   Welcome   to   another   night   in   Oblitus,   please   don’t   open   the   doors.   (layla,   27,   she/her,   est) 

Basic information

Name: Helena Loveless

Nicknames: Leny, Lena

Age: 27

Birthday: October 1st

Hometown: Telico, TN

Birthplace: Telico, TN

Religion: None / unsure

Education: High school diploma

Relationships:

Biological parents: Arthur Loveless, Amelia Loveless (Estranged.) Siblings: Brother, Michael Loveless (Deceased)

Physical.

Height: 5’1

Eyes: Brown

Hair: Brunette / Auburn

Build: Slim, short.

Distinguishing marks: Small scars varying on her back shoulders.

Personality.

Hobbies: Sitting outside, swimming, planting.

Likes: People, places, music, talking.

Dislikes: Herself

Quirks: She is notorious for eye contact, accidentally meeting and holding a stranger's gaze. She bites the inside of her cheek when she's nervous, and disassociates when your voice is raised, she hates confrontation, and flinches at the sign of it.

WHERE WAS YOUR CHARACTER WHEN THEY SAW THE TREE AND THE MURDER OF CROWS? WHERE WERE THEY GOING? WERE THEY TRAVELLING ALONE? HOW DID THEY FEEL?

TW: mentions of alcohol, and emotional abuse. Friday nights for Lena had always been routine in their chaos, whether she admitted that or not. She didn't have much of a choice, her father was an alcoholic, and her brother was his spitting image. They spent their nights at the only bar in town, spending whatever money Lena had made for the week, combined with her father's disability checks- down the drain for their own vices. Some nights were worse than others, she'd look forward to thee quiet car rides when they'd drank too much to say anything other than slurred verbiage. It meant it was just her, the radio, and the quiet roads of their little mountain town. Unfortunately, it wasn't that kind of night. The bartender knew who to call, when Arthur and Michael got a little too rowdy, a little too late, and stunk of dark whiskey and cheap booze. They'd gotten kicked out again, her father slurring his words with a bloody fist, and Michael's mouth had been freshly split open. She wasn't sure if it was a fight between a patron, or each other. Either way, she'd try her best to get them in the truck- and they'd fight her the entire way. Tears soaked her features, enough that the lines in the road were blurry. She should have seen the tree, but she hadn't stopped long enough to care for it, driving around until they'd ended up in a town she hadn't recognized. Her father's anger got worse, making her pull over so he and her brother could take a piss. Only, the truck wouldn't start back up. October was cold in Tennessee, but the air felt different here. Warmer. They didn't see the creature coming, not at first- her father belligerently cursing at the figure thinking it was someone who refused to mind their own business. Whatever it was, it took one look at Lena, and as if it could see through her- kept walking. Ignoring her completely with an abnormal smile. Unearthly, as her brother approached the person- shoving Lena in the process with anger and misguided steps- until the human's face opened up, jagged teeth and blackened eyes- devouring his face, only to turn around and wear it. Lena's frantic, her father screaming for her to get in the truck- only it won't turn over. The engine sputters once, twice, and the creature wearing Michael's face loomed closer with the same smile. When finally, the truck started. She drove in a loop for hours that night, her father drunk and distraught until dawn.

WHAT DID THEY LEAVE BEHIND? WHAT WAS THEIR LIFE LIKE ON THE OUTSIDE?

It could be described as difficult, at best. Lena is the youngest and only daughter of a man with a temper, and a brother who's matched like an apple from a fallen tree. Her mother left when she was three, so she doesn't remember her. Instead, she makes up stories for what she must have been like. Kind, caring, she ran because she had no other choice. Why else would someone leave their daughter in the fire alone? The truth was, her mother was an addict, and left to be with another man and chase another high. And Lena? She didn't get her kindness from the woman who birthed her. It was the violence that made her this soft. Her father blames her for Michael's death, he still drinks often at the lost and found bar. Lena moved out of their residential house, to the colony house. Despite this, she still feels responsible for him. Despite this, he is still abusive both emotionally and physically, in spite how hidden she's kept it.

[zegrvshvghes]

Drinks are on me next time-QH43

You were sitting at the bar, enjoying a drink after a long day at work, when you noticed him. He had just come in, looking tired and grumpy, with a hint of sadness in his eyes. You recognized him immediately as Quinn, the star NHL hockey player known for his incredible skills on the ice, but also for his grumpy demeanor off the ice.

He sat at the end of the bar, nursing a beer and staring off into space. You couldn't help but feel drawn to him, despite his rough exterior. Your natural instinct to cheer people up kicked in, and you made your way over to him.

"Hey there," you said cheerfully. "Tough day?"

He looked up at you, surprised. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Well, at least your team won tonight, right? That's something to be happy about!" You flashed him a bright smile, hoping to lift his spirits.

He snorted. "Yeah, sure. Winning isn't everything."

You could tell he was just being grumpy, but there was something about him that intrigued you. You had always been drawn to the challenge of cheering up people who seemed down, and Quinn was the ultimate challenge.

Over the next few minutes, you chatted with him, asking him questions about his game and his life. He was hesitant at first, but slowly began to open up. You found out that he had just gone through a rough break-up and that he was struggling to stay motivated on the ice.

As the night wore on, you found yourself enjoying Quinn's company more and more. Despite his grumpiness, he had an underlying sense of vulnerability that made you want to protect him. You found yourself wanting to make him laugh, to make him forget his troubles for just a little while.

Before you knew it, it was time to close up the bar. As Quinn got up to leave, you took a chance and asked him if he wanted to grab a coffee with you sometime.

To your surprise, he agreed.

Over the next few weeks, you and Quinn started spending more and more time together. You found that he had a soft side hidden beneath his rough exterior, a side that craved love and affection. He told you about his dreams and his fears, and you listened, offering words of encouragement and support.

Quinn started to open up to you more and more, and you found yourself falling for him, despite his grumpiness. You loved how he always tried to protect you, even though you were always the one uplifting and cheering him up.

It wasn't long before you realized that you had fallen in love with him.

One night, you decided to take a chance and tell him how you felt. You took him to a quiet corner of the park, where the two of you sat under a tree, watching the stars.

"Quinn," you said softly, taking his hand in yours. "I know you've been hurt in the past, and I know it's hard for you to let people in. But I want you to know that I care about you, more than I've ever cared about anyone else. I know you're grumpy and stubborn, but I love you for who you are. Please, give me a chance to make you happy."

As you spoke, Quinn's expression softened. He took your face in his hands and kissed you gently.

"I love you too," he whispered. "I've never felt this way before, but you make me happy. You make me see the good in the world, even when everything seems dark. Will you be mine?"

You nodded, tears of happiness streaming down your face. For the first time in your life, you had found someone who loved you for who you were, someone who saw the sunshine in you even when you felt like the clouds were looming.

im posting shmut too cause i’m feeling generous tn, plus almost everything i have is prewritten from my cutesy lil wattpad era. i hope nobody sees my notes app they’d be traumatized ❤️‍🔥

[shortnsweetgf]

i feel you may be getting more than you bargained for

im poly btw. t4t etc etc etc whatever. anyways. up until yesterday i had two gf’s, one who was ldr and the other who’s my roommate’s sister. literally broke up with the first one last night bc poly stuff wasn’t working for her which is hence why i asked this other person to make me a drink, and she knows why bc she went how are youuuu and i was so tired and i’m like hm. i don’t know her well enough to be honest and thought about it for way too long so i was just silent for like a minute and then laughed and went im fineeee and she was like THAT was a response. n then i was blushing bc fuck she’s CUTE. like damn im over here trying to be normal. the amount of times i’ve sat in this kitchen looking at someone with heart eyes while my roommate is semi oblivious is embarrassing. anyways. like i said. best behavior. im leaving them be. plus i have work tomorrow

housing situation is a whole mess of its own but, my roommate’s sister isn’t *actually* his sister, she’s found family but they consider each other that. when i first met her she was wearing like tight leggings and a crop top and i was trying so so hard but i was looking and she said since seeing me she had already decided she’d be down if i was. roommate had a bday party and we ended up talking more and cuddling and yeahhhh. it was pretty great tbh. she’s so sos so so so cool (she’s also like 8 years older than me but that’s besides the point) and so nice and she drives a lime green motorcycle and i’ve ridden on the back of it and tbh it wasn’t as scary as i thought it was gonna be! i trust her. anyways she’s picking me up from work tomorrow and we’re going to this arcade bar that i’ve never been to with her friends and i’m nervous bc i haven’t met her friends, it is still a work night, night stuff isn’t always my scene and i still need to get my new loops. but anyways being with her is like hella new, like, maybe a little over a week and given things with the last person i told her i want to take things slow (ish) given how we started and it seems like we’re on the same page. so a lot going thru my head rn.

one, heartbreak bc literally last night and. OH FUCK. OH FICK FUCODJDJDJ okay. so. call me an asshole if u want but we broke up over text which is a whole thing and i apologized for it bc i should’ve waited. but she kept wanting like. like complete and total resolution and i didn’t want to lie to her. anyways i felt like i should resolve this more so i said we could call tn and i totally. fucking. forgot. gonna kms it’s way too late now, tf am i supposed to say to her. i was dreading that phone call but now i’m kicking myself im sitting here like half tipsy and a little giddy and FUCk

OH THIS GOT WILDER im not sober enough to know jow to answer yoh rn but good luck bestie i hope everything works out 😭

[writhe]

random serendipitous moment i thought i’d share- i meant to check out some of the folk punk bands you recommended to another anon a little while ago bc i’ve been on a little folk punk kick this year and so i downloaded a holy locust album but never got around to listening to it but i just realized they’re opening at the show i’m going to tn :3

YESS HAVE FUN YES YES

[rodechi]

Living Anxiety

It is 4am and I am unable to sleep, and so I find myself writing the rough draft of this in the hopes that writing it down will tire me out. To all of you who have noticed me withdrawing more and more lately, I am pulling back the curtain a bit to share a bit of what I have been wrestling with privately.

To give some insight into my home life: it is a house, but not my home. I have lived here in this small podunk town in Tennessee all my life. Opportunities were always few and far between unless you work a dead-end job for pennies on the dollar (TN has no state minimum wage, so a lot of jobs will start you at the federal $7.25/hr -- or less if you work a job that gets tips!) or really enjoy dealing in antique furniture. It's also a terrible place to live as someone queer. My nephew got run off the road just last year because an older man saw him with makeup on, veering toward him and forcing him off the road, calling him slurs in the process. Hell, I STILL have neighbors who are die-hard Trump supporters. Which brings me to my mother. Mercifully, she's very anti-Trump, but in many ways still very conservative. She worked as a nurse nearly 40 years and is set in beliefs from that long ago as well. To her, gender is immutable -- although I have been on HRT for over 2 years now, she doesn't make even the barest effort to acknowledge it. To her, I will always be Daniel, not Wren. Always her little boy. Always "him". I'm not even respected enough to have my own bank account; she has access to view my statements at any time and will frequently question me about purchases I make, money I send to friends and partners, anything. "I want to make sure it's you spending your money, not anyone else." No trust, no boundaries. Hell, she told me once "My boundaries mean that I can ignore yours." In addition, she's developed a victim complex, always blaming me for perceived slights against her that she has imagined. She uses that as fuel to make "jokes" about how she wants to tie me up so I'd miss a flight away or how she'll get me arrested for something just so I wouldn't be able to leave.

With all of that in mind, you can surely see why I would be eager to move away. However, there are a few extenuating factors that make it difficult for me, especially lately. Notably, my lack of income, lack of living history (since I've lived here my whole life), and just sheer logistics.

First off, at the moment, I have no income. I had a job, from April 2018 until January 2022. I worked as a veterinary assistant at a local clinic, since I wanted a job that served a purpose and I love animals. I initially wanted to go to college for it (after failing at another college under a different major), but quickly learned that while I was okay with doing it as a job, I didn't want it to be my career. I was overworked, underpaid, taken advantage of, and regularly given tasks outside my job description and above my paygrade. I was part-time, despite being scheduled for 30 hour workweeks (and frequently having to stay an average of 4 to 6 hours late over the week). As such, no benefits! Woooo! I was also given the job of about 3 to 4 other people, including being the person expected to teach the newer hires, perform tech support, and more roles beyond that. It was a soul-crushing line of work that chewed me up and spit me out. I even had to write up one of my bosses (and got her forced into retirement) because she would punch and kick some dogs, and one of the doctors that replaced her… I still relive a moment where I had to assist him with a euthanasia on a puppy that he botched and did improperly (and illegally!) So while I only worked there just shy of 4 years, it left me with the worst burnout, depression, anxiety, and compassion fatigue I have ever experienced in my life. When I found myself getting impatient and mad at the animals regularly, I knew that was my sign to quit while I could. I should have gotten another job since then, but I was content to live off my savings while I recovered my mental health.

In addition to these issues, I also have been living with a phobia of driving a car. Not just a fear, mind you. An honest-to-God "diagnosed by a psychiatrist" phobia. Not just me being worried I'll get into an accident or anything… Even thinking about being behind the steering wheel of a car is enough to send me into panic attacks. Mom forced me to take Driver's Education in high school, and I forced myself to drive in the hope that I could condition myself to get past it. Instead I had a hellish semester, with the teacher literally telling me "The only reason I'm not failing you is that you didn't crash the car." and criticizing me because "You will do something right 10 times and then screw it up so bad the next it's like you've never done it." It's definitely given me a complex on top of the existing phobia. And so, living in this town where a car is basically mandatory, my options for getting out are very limited.

And so, when one of my partners invited me to move to the West Coast to be with them, I was eager to get out. So we have been spending the past few weeks looking at apartments online, trying to find a place that would take us, even with me being dead weight as I am now with no job, no living history, and mediocre credit. It's been incredibly stressful, and we are still searching. But god if it ain't soulcrushing. Most places require us to have a cosigner, and most places in the area require them to have the frankly-absurd requirement of the cosigner making 4 times the rent. My parents refuse, not wanting to be responsible for "someone you don't know." At this point our options are getting slimmer and slimmer, with the deadline baring down on us.

And so here I am, in a house where I am regularly emotionally abused, in a state that hates me for being pansexual and transgender, trying to move to a state where no apartment will take me because I'm expected to have an income from a job that I can't get until I'm over there. It hurts and it stresses me the fuck out.

I could write so much more, but I'm exhausted and upset. I'm going to nap.