#it's gonna be fun and i also have to send pictures to my boss's wife (she's nice we're kind of friends) and also to my family gc

[myblacknightworld]

Wish me luck, tomorrow I'm attempting to cook spezzatino for the first time (it's an easy enough recipe, but it's literally my first time cooking anything different from pasta, omelette or tortilla, from scratch, sooo...) also attempting tiramisù and the torta paradiso too (I've made tiramisù a lot of times, but I was just the helper. My aunt did the actual thing I was just there to whip the egg whites and the yolks and the mascarpone. I jsut followed what she told me to do. It's also pretty easy a dessert to make sooo) and according to GialloZafferano torta paradiso is Also pretty easy to make, so while the spezzatino is cooking I will have like 3 hours just to make desserts. It's gonna be a fun morning!

[fastlikealambo]

national anthem:older!steve x black fem!reader

summary: steve harrington is running for president of the united states as the democratic nominee. he's polling well, people like him because he actually intends to keep his campaign promises, he's got great hair and a cute dog.

there's one problem: he doesn't do relationships, he's been seen doing the walk of shame too many times and his campaign manager has had enough. he needs a wife, or a least someone to smile and wave his messy ass through election season before disappearing into obscurity.

that's where you come in.

you're a sweet virgin kindergarten teacher who looks like disney animated birds help you get dressed in the morning. on paper you're perfect for the job and you have student loan and medical debt so you will silk press and laugh your way to the democratic national convention.

here's the thing:

you can't stand his pompous ass and he gets all tongue tied and sweaty when he gets within 2 feet of you.

it's gonna be a long fucking campaign.

bonus: here's two songs that are the background music in this chapter. can you figure out which song goes with what scene? I'd love to know your guesses.

angel - halle bailey

death of me - pvris

chapter one: washington, d.c.

“They’re calling you The Future Slut in Chief, Steve.”

Erica threw a paper in Steve’s lap, pinching the bridge of her nose before sinking into a chair to drink her iced coffee,  the only thing to keep her from reaching across the table and throttling the future President of The United States.

Steve looked down at The New York Post, a picture of him in his boxers leaving someone’s apartment dead center. He shrugged, putting his feet on the table and leaning back in his chair. 

“I look great and besides it’s the New York Post, nobody reads The New York Post, Sinclair. After the speech today no one will give two shits about that, nothing to worry about.” He said, shoving his sunglasses back on his face to block out the fluorescent lighting.

Four more newspapers with nearly identical pictures knocked the sunglasses right off his face and the forty year old nearly fell out of his chair.

“You can’t throw things at me, that’s treason.”

“Not yet.” Erica said sweetly.

“They’re making fancams of you and I quote, ‘ your slutty little waist.” Holly Wheeler said, Erica’s assistant said with a giggle, showing her boss her phone, the same bridge of some Cardi B. song filling the conference room over and over again.

“Send me that to me, won’t you Holly?” Steve said, reaching for his coffee.

“Do not send that to him Holly.” Erica sighed, pushing Steve’s legs off the table before standing up.

“Look Harrington, I joined this campaign because I believed in you. You had feasible ideas, a moral compass, the hair of a Kennedy and so much money I sometimes want to call the IRS for fun.”

“What was that last one-

“Never mind that. Everything about you screams all american but because you don’t have a partner or spouse,  to the general public it also screams ‘I may or may not have people in my basement.’ Nobody likes a single male president.”

“James Buchanan never married.” Steve grumbled.

 Steve Harrington didn’t do relationships, he had his fun every night, came home to his dog and empty apartment and focused on doing some good in his community with the outrageous inheritance his father left him. 

 There was no time for wives or husbands and that’s exactly how he liked it. 

“James Buchanan thought a dime was enough money to live on so maybe not the best example. Steve, you have a chance to be the next leader of this country but doing the walk of shame at your prehistoric age is not going to get the votes you need.”

Erica was absolutely right but Steve would be damned if he said so.

 “You need someone at your side for the last leg of the campaign and I’ve taken care of it. She’s been checked out and briefed, you’ll meet her on stage tonight when you introduce her, I’ve had Nancy edit your speech.”

“What the fuck Erica!” Steve yelled but Erica ignored him.

“She’s smarter than you, beautiful, and most importantly, she’s likable. So if you want to sit in the Oval Office for the next four years, you’ll wear the Tom Ford suit and act like this is the greatest love story ever told. You don’t have to talk to her outside of events if you don’t want to but you will do this. I have yet to fail you so trust that I can do the job you pay me handsomely for. Got it?”

No.

Absolutely not.

There was no way he was going through with this.

“To wrap up my speech so we can all get home safely, I want to introduce you to someone. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, to this campaign, to this country! I’m so proud to finally introduce my fiancée, let’s give her a big hand!” Steve said with a big smile at the cheering crowd, proud of the fact that he didn’t immediately vomit when the word fiancée came out of his mouth.

The click-clack of your heels coming up a staircase had Steve’s heart in his throat. At some point his clapping was no longer forced as he waited for the worst blind date of his life to appear on stage. 

“Get it together Harrington, turn on the charm for two minutes and get the fuck out of here.” He thought to himself.

He could handle this.

Two seconds later, he was wrong.

So, very, wrong.

If there were words to truly describe how beautiful you were, Steve did not know them. 

How could he?

How would ecstasy describe ecstasy?

Fuck.

Like Erica drilled into him a thousand times before the DC rally began, he reached out his hand to you, now enveloped in the scent of orchids and shea butter, and brought you into his arms for the world’s gentlest and fastest embrace. Your lips met with Steve’s cheek with a sweet laugh that made the crowd go wild as you pushed him forward towards the mic.

But no words came out.

That man was so busy looking at you he didn’t know the closing to his speech, the stump speech he had been giving for months now, the one he could recite in his sleep and accidentally yelled out during sex that one time.

A full ten seconds of uncomfortable silence with a sweaty man had you suddenly in front of the mic.

“I’m so happy to be a part of this once in a lifetime event supporting Steve! We’ve got a lot of work to do to get to the ballot box but we are ready to elevate and encourage our beautiful country towards a brighter future! Good night everyone, drive safe!” You nearly yelled into the mic, applause bursting through the audience.

You were quickly ushered backstage away from journalists, happy to get out as just as quickly as possible but Steve followed right with you.

“I-I had that back there!” Your fiance and future president choked out.

“Oh, so you can talk, wonderful! A thank you for saving your ass or a nice to meet you would suffice. I didn’t know a presidential nominee much less an adult man could drool like an infant but you’re full of surprises Mr. Harrington.” You said, rolling your eyes. 

“I was not drooling!”

“My shoulder’s all wet Mr. President.  Are we done here, can I go now?” You asked, turning your attention to Erica.

“I’m so glad you two are getting along! One more picture for all the socials and then you are free to go, Hopper and your security detail will make sure you get to your hotel safely.” Erica said, grabbing her phone for the picture.

“Big smiles, you two!”

You still couldn’t get over the fact that 24 hours ago, you were crying yourself to sleep wondering how you were going to pay your bills and get back on your insurance and now you’re prom posing with America’s Next Top Leader.

“I couldn’t have possibly drooled on you, you wanna know why?” Steve said through a frozen smile.

“Not really.”

“If I got the next First Lady of The United States all wet, you’d know, honey.” He whispered in your ear. 

Motherfucker.

Next stop: Maryland! I hope you enjoyed this, I’m not too sure if it's any good :)

[thran-duils]

Lost In Zero Gravity (P.15)

Title: Lost In Zero Gravity (Part Fifteen) Summary:  Fem!Reader x Mob Boss!Tony Stark x Mob Boss!Steve Rogers.  Reader is a call girl who runs high end parties. She catches the attention of Tony Stark who invites her back to his room with his friend. She might have performed too well because she becomes their new favorite play toy and they don’t like to share. Words: 3,145 Warnings (for the fic in entirety): Smut, prostitution, infidelity, angst, domestic violence, stalking, possessive behavior Author’s Note: The reader here is someone who celebrates Christmas, just a heads up!

Part Fourteen || Part Sixteen || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Something touched your face and you jerked awake, blinking in alarm.

“Shit, sorry,” you heard Tony say as you came to clearly. You exhaled sharply hearing his voice, relaxing back down onto the couch. He was trying not to laugh and failing. He brushed at your forehead again affectionately and said, “Look at two of my favorite girls snuggling on the couch together. A nice thing to come home to.”

You turned your head, seeing Luna was curled up behind your back against the back of the couch. Tony reached behind you, petting her. She got up immediately and crawled up onto your side to get more, stretching her back legs. Tony obliged and she stuck her tail up before hopping down to the ground and sauntering off.

“Well, she got tired of me quickly,” Tony said sounding sour. “Little bitch is holding a grudge I was gone for a week.”

You sat up and moved your pillow, waiting for him to sit down. He simpered in response, “Well, at least one of you still wants my attention.” He sat down and you laid back down, using his thigh as a pillow. “And it’s the better looking one, so that bodes well for me.”

Considering you had fallen asleep, the movie had gone back to the main menu and was playing on loop.

“Interesting choice,” Tony commented seeing it.

“Polar Express has become a classic for Christmas,” you told him seriously. “And I fell asleep on it. And I did want to watch it.” You reached for the controller and started it over.

“Is there a reason for that…? Should I be prepared to be bored?”

“I had watched about three other Christmas movies before this and I was really relaxed,” you returned.

Tony admitted, “Fair enough.” He looked around the room and said, “You really went to town on the decorations.”

“I had a lot.”

“Looks like my tree was the perfect thing for your ornaments. Perfect gift giver.”

You snorted and said, “Is that you digging for a ‘thank you’ again, Santa?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Tony answered, his hand coming to your waist. “Where are my cookies in thanks?”

You turned your head to look up at him and asked, “Do you really want me to make you some cookies? Because the only ones I can make on a whim right now are peanut butter.”

Tony smirked, gripping your side. “No, sweetheart. Thank you for being so on the ball though and ready to indulge my whims. You’re a treasure. But I ate enough desserts and bullshit at Disneyland to last me for months.”

“Did you have fun?” you asked, turning to look back as the movie started over again.

“Mhm,” Tony nodded. “Loved standing in lines for an absurd amount of time not only for rides but also for pictures with people pretending to be characters. But it made the kids happy, so that’s what counts. And before you even ask, yes I did use a Max Pass. The waiting was still atrocious.” Before you could ask anything else, he cleared his throat, “How was it here?”

“Fine,” you answered, giving a slight shrug, not offering anything else.

You were truly sore from how much sex you had been having. Steve had wanted to go at it every day the last week and he made sure it happened, alternating between rough and caring. It was lucky, for him, that his wife was gone for the majority of the week, so he was able to come here every day after he got done with business.

“Hmm, sounds like I should pry more but doesn’t sound like you also want to talk about it,” Tony commented quietly. “Conundrum.”

The feeling riled up again to speak to someone about the gala. You pushed away from him, pausing the movie, and he leaned his head back, looking at you with narrowed eyes at your sudden movement.

“Steve was really horny this week. Like every goddamn day kind of horny. So, I’m pretty sore and tired,” you told him. He rose his eyebrows in response, and you said, “You asked me to elaborate, so I am. Also, I don’t know how he’s feeling because he’s been forcing me against tables but then being gentle other times. It’s very hard to read. He really hurt my hip against the kitchen table.” Tony looked concerned, his mouth opening like he was going to ask a question, but you pressed on, wanting to mention this to him, “And that guy from Monaco was at the gala we went to and he was watching me.”

Tony cocked his head. “What?”

“Laurie. That French guy.”

That caught Tony’s attention and he asked seriously, “He was stateside? At the gala?”

“Yes. Is that not normal? Cause he was looking pretty creepy.”

For a split second, you saw genuine apprehension in his face. But, Tony cleared his throat and adjusted in just another second, the mask coming up. He forced a smile, covering up the concern that had been there moments before, and said, “It’s fine. Just weird that he was watching you is all.”

You did not believe him for apparent reasons, mainly his body language. And he changed the subject quickly, “I brought you some gifts over here in this bag, but you can’t open them until Christmas.”

Holding back a sigh that he had brushed it off so easily, you asked, “Did you wrap them?”

“No,” Tony admitted, and you frowned. He explained, “Definitely paid to have that done.” He noticed the look on your face and asked jokingly, “Is that going to be a problem? I can send them back to the park.”

“No. It’s just astounding to me that people don’t like wrapping presents. It’s one of my favorite things. Make sure they look perfect.”

He leaned over the side of the couch and dug through the bag he must have placed down when he came in. “Speaking of cookies…” He came back up with a plain box and handed it to you. “That one you can open now cause it’s perishable.”

You took it from him, opening the box to find Mickey gingerbread cookies and an assortment of other Christmas decorated fudge and cookies.

“Don’t make yourself sick,” Tony commented.

“What a dad thing to say. Have you not left that mode?” you retorted, shooting him a look.

“I see your wit hasn’t lessened. Why do you try to push my buttons?”

“Because it’s fun,” you told him and he sucked his bottom lip in at that slightly, watching you.

Taking one of the pieces of fudge, you closed the box and put it on the coffee table. You took a bite and then held out the other half to him. He leaned forward, taking it, his lips wrapping around your fingers. You smirked at the flirtation, savoring the piece in your own mouth.

“Too bad you’re feeling sore,” Tony said after he swallowed his piece. “That was mighty rude of Steve.”

“Quite,” you agreed.

“Well, we will just have to wait then. Let you get good and limber again. That should take what/ A night?” You snorted at that. “What? I can be patient. And thoughtful.”

Satisfied knowing he was not going to try to push you tonight, you laid back down, tucking yourself back under the blanket, snuggling up on his thigh.

“I’m glad you’re back,” you told him sincerely as you started the movie again.

You felt his fingers caress your side at that.

<><><>

“How was it here?” Tony asked the next day at the office, as Steve placed a coffee on his desk from the intern that had gone on a coffee run for the office.

Steve shrugged, “Alright. She was well behaved. We went to the gala. And I spoke with Richard there, got that all sorted out. He’s going to open up the port when we need it.”

“Anyone notice you two speaking about that matter?” Tony questioned.

“Of course not. Everyone had their noses too far down in their drinks.”

Tony snorted in response before he asked, “Did you notice Laurie?”

Steve’s brow furrowed. “Laurie who? Capron?” Tony nodded. Steve shook his head, “No. Why?”

“Y/N did. He was watching her.”

“Okay?” Steve said slowly, not getting it. And he should not because Tony had omitted the part about the bet when he mentioned to Steve that Laurie had been displeased he was meeting with Alexandre.

“Well, you know how I raced?” Steve nodded in acknowledgment. “He challenged me. Laurie did. Wanted to bet on Y/N.” Steve’s lips parted, vexation washing over his features. Tony said quickly, “That’s why I raced. I wasn’t gonna leave it in the hands of that random person they were having race for the company.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that?” Steve demanded. “Tony, what the fuck?”

“It wasn’t relevant. I won, didn’t I?”

“Why did you accept at all?”

“Because you know he would have just asked to take her right then. You know him. And I didn’t want to start that shit right there in front of all those cameras or put Y/N in that position or embarrass her.” Tony exhaled sharply and leaned forward over his desk, “Just… keep your head on a swivel. I don’t like that he’s stateside. He was really not happy about that meeting with Alexandre.”

Steve’s jaw was tight staring Tony down before he finally sighed, “Fine. Yeah. I’ll… we’ll figure out what he’s doing here.”

<><><>

“I still can’t figure out what to get you for Christmas,” you told Steve, watching him from the bed. He had come home during the day for a quickie. He had stayed away for a few days, much to your muscle’s relief.

“You don’t need to get me anything,” Steve told you as he pulled his pants up, working on his belt. “You’re enough.”

Picking at the sheet, you stared down at it, chewing on your bottom lip. Steve was moving around getting ready and he broke the silence, “What’s on your mind, Y/N?”

“Are you going to let me go home for Christmas?” you asked, looking at him hopefully.

Steve stilled for a moment in buttoning up his shirt, his eyes running over you there. You did not break eye contact, wanting to make it clear you were serious about this.

“I have been thinking about that,” Steve admitted. “Most of the guys have family they want to be with. You wouldn’t have anyone here – that I would want to be here that is – to watch you anyway.” Steve gave a tight-lipped smile. “So, my hands are kind of tied here.”

Hope was blossoming in your chest.

“I need to talk to Tony about it. But there will be rules. You’d need to check in regularly. It’d be a short trip. A couple days.”

“That’s okay,” you said eagerly.

Steve’s eyes crinkled and you closed your mouth, trying to relax again. He watched you for a few more moments before he went back to finishing buttoning up his shirt. He grabbed his suit jacket off the back of the chair and put it on too.

Coming over to the bed again, he gave you a kiss. “Don’t forget to wash the sheets before Tony gets home.”

“I will,” you said to his retreating back.

<><><>

You walked up the front steps, already hearing the chatter from inside. You could see some of your family in the living room window, laughing, already playing games. That was a Christmas Eve tradition. Taking a deep breath, you opened the front door. You had not called your grandma to tell her you were coming. The only ones who knew were a couple of your cousins you had reached out to.

When they noticed it was you, there was a chorus of happy greetings.

A wide smile coming across your face, you said hello in return as one of your aunts brought you to her, squeezing you close. Your bag fell by the wall by the door and you left it there to make the rounds.

Your grandma and grandpa were both in their respective chairs, your grandpa excited to see you. You made sure to hug him tight, kissing him on top of his head.

Turning you looked at your grandma. You had not spoken to her since you had left here weeks ago.

You asked gently, “Merry Christmas. How are you?”

“Better now that you are here, dear,” your grandma answered sincerely, a warm smile gracing her lips.

You broke at that, closing the space between the two of you and you wrapped her up in a tight hug. She held you back in return, and you blinked back tears knowing what she had said when you saw her last was true about her not being upset with you. Steve and Tony had not ruined your relationship after all.

<><><>

You looked down at your phone on the table and saw Tony was calling. You quickly snatched it off the table to avoid your cousin from seeing the name. One of your uncles had just begun to serve dessert. You had agreed to texts, not calls. What was Tony doing? You had just texted them an hour ago, sending them a pic that you were really at the house.

Getting up from the table, you said, “I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Well, hurry back! You don’t wanna miss my cake!” your uncle said as he cut in, placing another piece on a plate to distribute.

You smiled, “Of course not. It looks delicious.”

Turning away from the table, you saw the call had already gone to voicemail, much to your worry. But he was already calling again.

Coming into the hallway, you brought the phone up to your ear and answered in a hushed tone, “Hello?”

“There you are,” Tony responded, sounding taut. “Thought you were ignoring me and I was going to be pretty fucking irritated.” He sounded well on his way to being drunk; you knew the switch in his voice by now. “Make me regret letting you go off at all.”

“Well, I’m here. I’m at the house.”

“I know you are, sweetheart. I just… you’re gonna find a private space for yourself and then call me back on FaceTime.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m horny, Y/N and I needed a distraction for a moment. Get the tension out of myself. I hate the missus family. Go to the bathroom or something and give me a show.”

“Tony,” you hissed into the phone as you continued walking down the hall and the staircase leading to the lower part of the house. “We are in the middle of dessert. That’s—”

“You’re wasting time,” he interrupted you. “I’ve got to get back to this stupid party sooner rather than later. I’m already halfway worked up. Don’t leave me hanging, love. I just need to see you. Real quick. Promise. Call me back.”

He hung up the phone and you stared down at it dumbly for a few moments before letting out a strangled, frustrated noise. Your hand gripped the newel post as you propelled yourself down the staircase to go to the bathroom downstairs. Not following what he was asking would only get you in trouble and really make him regret letting you come here and have him refuse you in the future.

You locked the bathroom door for good measure. Turning around, you took a deep breath, trying to relax. You had given shows like this before, it was not foreign to you. All he wanted to see was you playing with yourself.

Pressing the callback for FaceTime, he answered, “Thank god. What were you doing?”

“I had to go downstairs,” you told him.

Fortuitously, you were wearing a skirt and it was loose. You pulled your underwear down, kicking them off. Taking your top off, you tossed it by your underwear. Looking around the bathroom, you looked for something you could use to prop up your phone and you spotted a small statue. Snatching it off the shelf, you sat down on the ground, your back against the tub. Using the statue, you propped the phone to point towards you and you spread your legs.

“Yeah, that’s good,” you heard Tony say softly and you could hear him already starting to jerk himself.

Your hand came to your pussy and you ran your fingers slowly up and down, not moving past your lips yet.

“How do you think I taste?” you asked, stroking slowly.

“So fucking good,” Tony returned, strained.

“You like tasting me?”

“It’s my favorite.”

Pressing one finger in, you moaned lowly. Your fingers came up to your mouth and you sucked on them before coming back to your clit, circling quickly.

“I wish it was you,” you keened, your fingers delving deeper.

“Fuck, me too,” Tony husked, speeding up.

Freeing your tits from your bra, you played with them, moaning as your fingers moved quicker. You kept your voice low as you teased him, hoping that no one would come up to the door. You had chosen the bathroom at the back of the house for a reason; the bigger one was closer to where everyone was.

Tony let out a groan as you described how wet and hot you were for him.

“I’m yours. All yours,” you told him, sultry.

“Shit, baby, I’m so close,” Tony groaned.

“Come for me, please,” you half whined, spreading your lips further apart to give him a better view inside. You continued encouraging him, circling your clit quickly.

“Fuck!” Tony exclaimed, shuddering breaths leaving him, and you knew he had finished. Your hand slowed and you waited until you were sure he was done before you dropped your hand. Picking up the phone, you covered your pussy again. The phone was pointed up at the ceiling; he must have laid it down on the counter.

After a few moments, he exhaled deeply, “Christ. Thank you, baby. That was good.” He picked the phone back up and said, “I gotta get cleaned up. Don’t forget to text. Have fun at your party.”

He hung up and you let out a breath of relief that he had one, gotten off, and two, no one had interrupted you.

You got yourself straightened out again, remembering to flush just to keep up the allusion. You did wash your hands though for real before leaving the bathroom.

“Thought you fell in,” one of your cousins joked when you appeared back in the dining room.

“No, sorry to disappoint,” you returned, pulling your chair back out and you sat down, picking up your fork. Everyone was almost done or already done. You took a big bite and chewed, savoring it. You gave your uncle the thumbs up down the table and he looked happy.

~~~

Forever tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld

Fic tags: @icant-hangout-imdrumming @oceaniamaddness @multifandom-superlover @imsonick @holl2712 @here4thefanfics @agustdowney @fanofalltheficsx @buttercandy16

[queenofthefullmoon]

An exhaustive list of Bloodborne bosses I would or would not date

Father Gascoigne

We’re starting this list off with a strong yes. You may be like, but Blue, this is a married man with two daughters! To this I reply: I pretend not to hear it. Also, not to be horrible, but his wife is dead while I’m right there baby, with my blunderbuss and my axe, and I’m ready to risk it all. YES, I know he’s a very stinky man, but you gotta make compromises sometimes. What’s that smell? Ah, the sweet dilf, it sings to me.

Cleric Beast

Let me be clear, I’m not a furry, but the Cleric Beast has stated some facts and made some points! The only reason why I’m not to keen on dating it is that it can’t best me in battle, which is something I’m always looking for in a partner.

Blood Starved Beast

Our first no of the list, I’m not very into skin flaps and poison, which the Blood Starved Beast has plenty of. Moreover, I’d have to get Djura’s approval, and that scares me beyond anything else in Yharnam.

Vicar Amelia

Another Cleric Beast, this time with a bit more flair to it. First of all we just have to admire the way she transforms, very sexy and bloody, which is something you’re gonna want in your relationship if you’re someone who likes fun. (Thiccar) Amelia, cradle me like your golden pendant.

Hemwick witches

Another hard no here. No offense, but I like having eyes, and dating a pair of witches covered in eyes that they’ve been harvesting for years doesn’t seem like a good idea to me!

Shadows of Yharnam

Honestly yeah? You get 3 cool partners in black robes for the price of one. They all wield different weapons, which makes for two excellent things. First of all, you get a very efficient bodyguard team (useful at parties, when a hunter gets drunk on blood, or when you open your front door and a beast is there). Secondly, if you want to have a fun sparring match with your partners, which we all know is a fundamental activity in a couple, you have very varied options!

And a bonus for animal lovers: they can spawn snakes at will for you!! Never a boring day with your 3 hooded partners.

Rom, the vacuous spider

NO. Don’t date Rom. She’s baby! She doesn’t understand what’s going on. Instead, here’s a list of nice activities you can do with Rom:

- Read her stories

- Trims her back growths

- Clean her teeth

- Make her some cute little glasses

- Knit matching socks for her and her children

- Teach her new spells

- Not date her

Darkbeast Paarl

Paarl is a similar situation as Rom. He’s just a little puppy… He doesn’t know what dating is. He knows what going on a walk means, though! So go on, go on a happy little walk with Paarl. He’ll love it, you’ll have fun, everyone will be happy.

Amygdala

Yes. Evidence that it’s a good idea is: lots of arms (good hugs), can grab the shit out of me, CAN and WILL crush me, can sometimes shatter my consciousness with its eldritch powers (very sexy), can send me in other dimensions, will annihilate my enemies with a funky laser beam, and the most amazing feature: can pop it’s eyes out of its skull like a stress ball (fun trick to show your friends at parties). The ideal girlfriend.

The One Reborn

NO!!!!! There’s a lot of freaky stuff I’d date in Bloodborne but the One Reborn is NOT one of them. Firstly, it has 6 nannies. Do I look like the type of person who wants their dates consistently moderated by 6 Pthumerian elders? No!!! I’m a free bitch baby!! And in addition to that, Juan Reborn just has too many limbs. It’s not okay. If we ever got engaged I wouldn’t know where to slip the ring.

Micolash, Host of the Nightmare

Would I..? No, I wouldn’t… Unless? Haha, just kidding. Wait… Actually… Um.

I mean… If you’re into bastardous hysterical little men who howl while running around, sure. BUT beware… You might lose him in a mirror and never find him again, which I find very inconvenient. Imagine going shopping with a guy who compulsively disappears in mirrors. Imagine explaining to the store employees why your dumbass boyfriend broke all their mirrors.

Also, how will we kiss?  With the cage on the way?

Oh god, do I have to wear a cage too?

Celestial Emissaries

I’m not against having a multitude of partners but I’m afraid that might be too much for me. Also, they look like little tiny bebes. I know I’ve said before that I wasn’t ready to be a parent, but I might make an exception for the Celestial Emissaries — let them chill in my home, make them pb&j sandwiches, stuff like that.

Ebrietas, Daughter of the Cosmos

Dear Ebrietas… I have a lot of fondness for her but she looks way too much like mac’n’cheese for comfort. She’s invited for sleepovers and all, no doubt about that, but I see our future together as platonic.

Martyr Logarius

Now Listen… Logarius is an Enemy of women. The proof of his crimes still remains in Cainhurst castle. Do I want to date the genocidal Yharnam Santa? Are you really asking me that? Do you take me for Executioner Alfred? I am not crazy. I will not date Martyr Logarius and his red skulls spamming ass (however miss Annalise queen of the Vilebloods, call me).

Mergo’s Wet Nurse

Um yes of course? Tall dark eldritch wife? I feel like Mergo’s Wet Nurse is the Dancer of Bloodborne, where I’m in a situation where I’m presented with the ideal girlfriend and people expect me to say no because she’s an enormous eldritch entity who could kill me in one hit or whatever. Do you think me a coward? Do you believe that I am not willing to risk it all for invisible girls? Think again.

Gehrman, the First Hunter

Ew no! Gross! He’s gonna make a doll designed after me and I will have to call the police!

Moon Presence

On one hand yes (see Mergo’s Wet Nurse) but on the other hand… I feel like the Moon Presence would be too possessive and easily jealous. I just need some freedom, yknow? The liberty to go out and make friends with other Great Ones. And I know she would NOT like that. She’d ask me if I’m the only Great One I’m talking to and I’d have to nervously hide my phone and say Yes Babe Always Babe, lest she would shackle me to an unending dream. I’m not about that life.

Ludwig the Accursed/the Holy Blade

I genuinely don’t know what to say. The screaming horse man? Am I— the horse boy? Him? No. I… I’m not gonna. I love his sword. Lots of class. Very good theme song, could be cool to have him as a friend (maybe I could ride him around to different locations?) but to date? Kiss his horse mouth? KISS HIS EYE MOUTH? You could say that… Neigh.

Laurence, the First Vicar

NOW WE’RE TALKING BABEY… All the class of the Cleric Beast with FIRE included! Picture this: it’s the winter, it’s snowing, and you’re cold… NOT! You are dating a FLAMING BEAST, you are never cold. Laurence has one proper arm to hold you and one arm that’s a constant flaming inferno, which means he’s great for the summer and the winter, depending on which temperature you want to be at. Your enormous flaming boyfriend will always be at your side.

Living Failures

First of all mood, second of all, this is kind of a Celestial Emissaries situation where I’m not against having many partners but I don’t want a whole congregation of them. There’s just too many Living Failures. I also like dating people with faces? And that aren’t, like, blue. So it’s a no from me, but I’ll befriend them. I’ll go garden with them and all. We can have a girls’ night, it’s all good.                      

Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower

I’m gonna have to be predictable and say yes here, but fair warning, Lady Maria isn’t for everyone! I know she looks like the perfect wife, but get this; this lady is a hunter. She’s only a lady because she’s related to royals. She has nothing ladylike in her. You think she takes baths? You think she knows what self-care IS????? I laugh at your ignorance, at how you misunderstand her. Maria is a stinky girl; but she is MY stinky girl.

Orphan of Kos

I don’t want to date the Orphan of Kos because he was literally just born and still has his placenta attached to him.  I don’t care for infants, and I don’t care for violent infants. I wouldn’t even want to invite him over to play with the Celestial Emissaries or something. He’s like that asshole child in kindergarten who hurts the other kids for fun. Am I being harsh to a literal baby and an orphan at that? Maybe. But Kos herself couldn’t tell me I’m wrong.

Bonus chalice boss: Yharnam, Pthumerian Queen

Now listen here… Yharnam is a queen, tall and kinda eldritch, absolutely rabid, which we’ve established is my type. Shall I step on the toes of Oedon and declare her mine? Perhaps. She has a very powerful scream, which worries me in case of a domestic fight, but overall I get to marry a kind of eldritch queen, which is alright in my book. I know she has an equally eldritch baby, but it’s formless, so it doesn’t bother me that much.   Dark Souls 1 ll Dark Souls 2 SOTFS ll Dark Souls 3

[luciferist]

ARE YOUR REQUESTS OPEN :-0 if not delete this but if so... can i get some domestic jumin hcs with mc please !! little glimpses into what it would be like in day to day life to be with him? im a sucker for those kinds of things 🥺♥︎ !

hi darling !! my requests are VERY open :3 and this was such a fun prompt to play around with so thank you for requesting :D

– domestic life with jumin

life with jumin is wonderful, to say the least

he loves you more than anything else in the entire world and so he treats you like royalty. only the best for his spouse, after all <3

you formally moved in with him a few months after the party and he had already given you a ring at that point. oh no, not your wedding ring. not even your engagement ring. those both had to be much more grand.

still, for now, you would get a simple 3.22 carat diamond on a white gold band. he had wanted to give you something bigger, but you refused. you’ll never forget the adorable pout he had made when you said no 🥺

on mornings he’s lucky enough to be by your side, you’ll wake up to his hand grazing your cheek, gazing at you softly

“good morning, my dear. how was your sleep?”

you’ll bask in his love until he gets up to make breakfast, you following not too far behind. he wears the cat apron you got him as a joke for christmas last year, but he wears it so diligently and so lovingly that it’s endearing

as he preps breakfast, you put out food for elizabeth and go back to watch your sexy husband from behind

god, his ass is so thick. i need to ask him to wear just the apron one day.

family photos of you, him, and elizabeth

you three wore matching outfits 🥰 jumin had lots of fun choosing them

be careful when saying you want something because if you do, don’t be surprised to see it brought home with jumin the next day

“i think i need a new pair of heels, these are getting wobbly.” boom, new pair of valentino heels. “honey, look at this picture on instagram, this ramen looks so good.” boom, dinner tomorrow is ramen imported from japan.

you learned your lesson quick: be careful what you wish for 🥴

when you’re together in the evening, after dinner will be spent chatting about your day, taking a bath together, blowdrying each other’s hair <3

when you get into bed, you’ll spend some time doing separate things but still sitting in bed together

he’ll finish up some work, you’ll read a book or go into the chatroom

and when the both of you are done, jumin will pull you into his arms and whisper words of love and “sleep well, my beautiful wife/husband”

nothing, and i mean NOTHING is more comforting than resting your head on jumin’s warm chest

lots of ass grabs and slaps. c’mon, it’s free real estate. how could you resist slapping his ass after seeing the way it looks in his suit pants?

it surprised him at first, but now he barely bats an eye

you have a few lifestyle choices to choose from

if you choose to work away from C&R – he’ll be a little confused as to why you would still want to work after marrying him. after all, don’t you have everything you could ever need now?

jumin will respect your choice, though, and will support you in any way you need

you’ll get flowers delivered to your workplace and he’ll send a driver to pick you up

he’ll be so so proud of you for working so hard, especially if it’s your own business

during dinner, he will listen to you talk about your work very closely. he always loves hearing about your day. he’s always so interested in what you do and your industry, it’s so sweet :((

if you choose to work at C&R – he’ll be so happy! while jumin would want you to stay comfortably at home, being with you at work could open up a lot of more opportunities office sex

you’ll have to let him know, though, that he can’t show too much favoritism. you want things to be fair.

“what if i made you my other chief assistant? no? what if i just made you my co-CEO? wait, i don’t want to put you through all that work. what about-” “JUMIN. let me work from the bottom up.”

once you get that point through his stubborn head, jumin will let his dear, intelligent spouse do their thing. he’s gonna be so proud of you no matter what your position ends up being

most days, he’ll come to work with you, have lunch with you, and go home with you

it’s exciting for the both of you to have such a sweet office romance

the other employees tip-toe around you since you’re their ultimate boss’s wife, but will soon treat you like normal once they realize you’re not a snotty person

if anyone tries to flirt with you... well, let’s just say you’ll probably not see them again. ever. 😇

if you choose to stay at home – he’s happy with that since you’ll be safest and most pampered there. it’s unfortunate that he won’t see you as often, but he would rather see you less than force his beloved to do WORK

jumin will definitely do his best to get more days off or days where he can work from home. he also does his best to shorten his work day so he can get back to you faster

you do some work around the house and get to spend time working on your own hobbies. it’s fun. but you still miss your husband.

you’re pretty much just a rich housewife except you don’t do housework. you’re living the Really good life

sometimes you take jumin by surprise and visit him at work to bring him lunch or just to see him.

whether you’re wearing something under that coat is up to you. ;)

“well this is quite a surprise, my love. i’m glad you came. come sit dow- oh. oh.”

he’ll try his best to take you on business trips with him. if he can’t, expect lots of video calls and blurry photos of the scenery

wowowow this got super long 😣 sorry it got more specific and was less of a list of general headcanons but nevertheless i hope u enjoyed !! thanks for reading <3

[kyber-kisses]

Lullaby

Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: cursing, blood, spn level gore, angst, tiny bit of fluff.

Summary: infant cries and loud screams are something that no one wants to wake up to. . . Unfortunately that’s exactly what happens to Dean.

A/n: again, I apologize for the angst. . . But please tell me what you thought! (SPN taglist is still open!)

Dean had always been a light sleeper. Growing up on the road and raised in the hunting life, his body had quickly adjusted to the fact that at any given moment he might have to get up and be moving within seconds.

It was hardwired into his system.

When he randomly stirred in the late hours of the night, he found himself subconsciously reaching out for you, calloused fingers fanning out over your side of the bed. But it was vacant, the sheets cool against the palm of his hand.

“Y/n?” He mumbled half halfheartedly into his pillow with a light groan. His hand slid across the surface again, searching for any sign that you were there.

But the elder Winchester was only met with cold sheets and silence.

It wasn’t uncommon though. He was used to you getting up a night. Sometimes it was from nightmares, sometimes hunger. . . Sometimes neither of the two. If you were up you usually left, not wanting to pry Dean out of his own unconscious bliss, be he always knew.

Dean let out another deep sigh, pressing his face further into his pillow as he rolled over, trying to chase the sleep he had just been pulled from. You would be back soon.

You were never gone for more than ten minutes.

And that’s when the blood curdling shriek ricocheted down the empty hallways, and through the slightly open door.

The sound propelling Dean into an upright position as he reached for the gun tucked under his pillow. And like a bucket of ice being dumped over him, he was fully awake in seconds, eyes wide as he practically vaulted out of the bed, rushing into the dimly lit hallway.

“Y/N!”

The sound could have only come from you. Due to the hunting life, he had unfortunately heard the sound before. Besides that, You and Dean basically has the bunker to yourselves. Sam and Eileen were out on a case and Jack and Cas were in parts unknown.

As Dean sped down the hallway, gun firmly settled between his palms, he listened for another scream, another sign that might point him in your direction, but nothing came.

The shriek had left as quickly as it had come, drowning him in a heavy silence momentarily before being replaced with loud cries.

Cassie.

And then it clicked, and the hunter almost stopped to hit his palm against his forehead, punishing himself for being so slow.

The nursery. If you weren’t in the kitchen, you could only be in the nursery with Cassie.

With a new found fear and panic nestling into the pit at the bottom of his stomach, he took off at a break neck speed, listening to the blood pumping in his ears.

You were fine. You and Cassie were just fine. You probably just tripped in the dark, or accidentally broke a glass. You both were fine. Dean told himself, ignoring the white knuckle grip his hands had on the gun. You were fine. You were fine. You were fine.

The door to the nursery was open, but as Dean skidded to a stop in the doorway, gun still raised, he paused. In the darkened room, he could still see your silhouette, back turned towards the door as you looked down into the crib, he small night light plugged into the wall casting sharp shadows across the room. From what he could see, you looked fine. You looked calm.

“Jeez Y/n,” Lowering his gun, he tucked it back into the waistband of his sweatpants, breathing a sigh of relief, “What the hell was that all about? I heard you scream.”

You were quiet for a moment, bending over to softly scoop Cassie up in your arms, humming a quiet tune as you did, and lulling the infant back to sleep.

“Y/n?” Eyebrows furrowed, Dean stepped further into the room, suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of uneasiness. Something was off.

“She’s so little.” Your voice coming out much more plain than normal. Dean watched your held tilt, eyeing the infant in your arms. Even with your back still turned to him, He noticed how different your stance was. You stood straighter, back as flat as a board.

The words left his mouth slowly, as he eyed you cautiously, taking another hesitant step forward, “yeah, I know. I kinda played a part in making her.”

“You know that in folk lore, lullabies originated from the term Lilith-abi?” Your voice calm as you rocked the small infant in your arms, “They were sung over children's cribs to make sure I didn’t come and snatch them up in their sleep.” Your voice echoed.

And that's when Dean froze, and he swore he felt the blood in his veins turn to ice. His body tensed, eyes widening with terror as he watched your figure slowly turn and look up, infant tucked securely against your chest.

And then you blinked, eyes revealing a white blankness as you smirked.

Dean only knew of one demon with eyes that color, and she was supposed to be dead. Very, very dead.

“Lilith.”

His palms itched as he slowly moved his hand, attempting to reach behind him and grab the pistol. Not that it would do much good, and he definitely didn’t want to hurt you.

“Hiya Dean. You miss me?” She smirked again, fully rotating to get a good look at the hunter. “I sure have missed you.”

Just as his finger grazed the pearl set handle, Lilith sighed, flicking her fingers quickly and sending him into the wall, an invisible force keeping him bound there, constricting his muscles.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. You’d only be hurting Y/N you know. . . or this sweet little thing-“ she cooed, eyes casting downward towards the child in her arms.

Straining against the force, Dean panted, eyes wide with fear as he looked upon the demon possessing you, along with his child gripped in her arms.

“Lilith, let them go. Let them both go, please.”

“Oh, and why would I do that?”

If anything happened to you or Cassie he would never forgive himself. Dean Winchester has thought he had known real fear and panic before this, but he was wrong. He was terrified. The hairs rippled erect on the back of his neck and forearms as he continued to struggle, the sudden sting of tears making him hiss.

“Please, Lilith. I’m begging you, let them go.”

“Oh come on, Dean. Let’s chat a little. It’s been too long.” Lilith slowly stalked closer, eyes shifting between the small girl in her arms and the hunter pinned helplessly to the wall.

“Fine.” Dean spat, staring daggers into the demon, “how are you alive?”

“Big boss man brought me back, alive and kicking.”

“You mean Lucifer?”

A small fit of laughter bubbles up from her throat as she shook her head, clearly amused, “I wish, but no. God brought me back, isn’t that nice.”

Damn it. Of course it was Chuck. He was always pulling the rug out from beneath his family. He should have known.

“How are you possessing her? Y/N had an anti possession tattoo on her lower-“

“Ribs, I know.” The demon smirked, using a free hand to swiftly pull up your worn sleep shirt, “nothing that a little fire can’t fix.”

And sure enough, the skin that once bore your tattoo was now a blistering patch of skin that slightly cling to the fabric as she peeled it back.

“Why do you think she screamed so loudly?”

Dean struggled against his restraints once more, the anger and fear continuing to rise as he did, “I’m gonna kill you. I swear, I’m gonna kill you. No one hurts my family and lives.” He warned, mind trying to figure out a plan of action.

But he was so filled with the dread of history replaying itself that he couldn’t think straight. There was a demon standing in the nursery and both the mother and child were in severe danger.

“Don’t go making threats now, Dean. You’re the one pinned helplessly to the wall while I have your family.” Lilith mused, bringing her eyes back down to Cassie, “just one wrong move, and their blood will be painting the walls of this nursery.”

Think, Dean. Just keep Lilith distracted so you can come up with a proper plan. Think, damn it!

“How did you even get into the bunker? This warding is extremely strong and advanced.”

Lilith cocked her head, looking back up at the man, “I’m the first demon, Dean. I’m stronger than the rest. Did you really think your fancy doodles were going to keep me out?”

Despite how hard he was trying to fight it, Dean couldn’t help but picture all the worse case scenarios, his eye squeezing shut in hopes of blocking them all out.

“Let them go. Let them both go, please.” And just like that he was back to begging. He was desperate to keep the both of you safe.

Lilith let out another exaggerated sigh, head rolling as she looked back at Cassie, “you get more and more annoying you know that? Now, tell me, what’s this little ones name?”

The muscles in Deans jaw pulsed. The last thing he wanted to do was listen to the demon, but he also knew how fast things could turn if he didn’t.

“Cassie. Her name is Cassie.” He sighed, head falling back with a harsh thud against the wall.

“Named after that angel friend of your no doubt,” Lilith mocked, sending him another devilish grin, “She has your eyes, you know. Bright forest green. I could easily tell she was yours from the moment I saw her.”

“Why do you even care?”

“Oh, well I was thinking of taking her. Quietly snatching her up, along with your wife, and slipping off into the night.”

“Don’t you dare-“

Another flick of her finger and Dean fell silent, unable to get another word out of his mouth. It was almost like a piece of cloth had been shoved into his mouth.

“Do shut up.” Lilith spoke plainly, walking slowly past Dean and towards the door of the nursery, ignoring the struggle the hunter was having with her invisible binds, “Now, it’s going to be so much fun watching you panic as you try and find us. I quite like using your wife as a meat suit.” She looked over her shoulder, shot him one more smirk, and was gone as quick as she had come.

And just like that, the binds were gone, sending the older Winchester crashing to the floor as he sucked in oxygen, hands planted firmly on the cement.

No, no, no. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. Tears were already wetting his lashes and cheeks as he panted, trying to figure out the first course of action.

But before he could even do anything he found himself quickly breaking down, fingers curling into fists as he squeezed his eyes shut, praying to Cas. To Jack. To anyone that might help him.

And then all of a sudden, he shot straight up, breath heaving as his eyes took in his surroundings.

He was back in bed, and coated in a thin layer of sweat, chest rising and falling rapidly to match his racing heart.

It was just a nightmare. It want real. None of it had been real.

With a shaky hand, he wiped his forehead, “Y/n.” His name breathlessly leaving his mouth as he panted, his other hand sliding across the bed to find you, to make sure you were really there.

Nothing. Your side of the bed was empty once again.

“No,no,no-“ Dean breathed out, whipping around and flicking the lamp on next to the bed. Sure enough, your side was empty. The sheets thrown back and crumpled besides him.

And just like before, he was rocketing out of bed and across the room, digging through the clutter on the desk before finding what he needed. Bottle of holy water. Demon cuffs.

Running in socks was a much harder task that predicted and eventually Dean had to skid to a stop halfway to down the hall, rapidly ripping off the small articles of clothing and discarding them on the floor before confusing forward with a massive burst of energy. He had to get you. He had to get to Cassie.

The door to the nursery was once again open, and before Dean could register his own movements he was running into the room.

“Y/N!”

Your name quickly had you spinning on your heels, looking up from the small bundle in the crib before you. Your hand flew to your chest as you jumped, eyes landing on the jade eyed hunter.

“God, Dean. I just got her to go back to sleep, no need to-“

You never got to finish you sentence before a good portion of water hit your face, freezing you instantly. Sputtering, you slowly blinked the water out of your lashes, clearly caught off guard by your husbands attack.

Spitting a small portion of it out of your mouth, you half hazardly wiped your face againt your sleeve, knowing full well it could have only been holy water, “what the hell, De-“

It was almost as if he didn’t want you to talk, becaus he let out a relived sigh before quickly pulling you into his chest, “Thank god, I thought you were a demon.”

“You thought your wife was a demon?” You mused, pulling back, eyebrow raised in defense, “Okay, I’ll pretend like I wasn’t offended by that.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I just had a nightmare.” Dean quickly mumbled, pressing a firm kiss to the top of your head, his lips lingering much longer than needed. Before he could fully pull away, you squeezed him tighter, making sure he knew that you were really there. This wasn’t the first time he had woken up from bad nightmares. Being a hunter, they practically came with the package.

“Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”

“Nah, not right now at least.” Dean shook his head, leaning over the crib so he could gently pick up Cassie, cradling her in his arms. He needed to hold her, make sure that she was alive. That she was safe.

“Okay, well I was just about to head back to bed, you coming?”

“I’ll be in in a little. I’m gonna stay here for a bit with Cassie. You go on ahead.” A soft smile took up his features as he placed another kiss to the infants head.

Everything was alright. And Dean was going to make sure it stayed that way.

The End.

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[superfanficnatural]

Love, Tabby

Pairing: Dean Winchester x OFC(Tabby)... so not really “Original Character” lol

Summary: Tabby is turning 30 today and Dean has a special surprise in store for her.

A/N: So Monday is Tabby’s 30th birthday, but we are celebrating it today, so this is my birthday present to you @winchest09​. I really hope you like it, I LOVE YOU !!!

Warnings: HEAVY FLUFF.

Word Count: 4,659

Tabby woke up in her bed, feeling grumpy as she did every time she woke up. Reaching over, she felt a cold spot where her husband usually was, fear settling in her heart. Shooting up out of bed, she put on her clothes and rushed to the door, noticing a piece of paper attached to the frame. 

Confused, she pulled it off of the tape and took a look at the note, “Hey, sweetheart. I know you’re probably freaking out over where I am and if I’m alright. I’m fine. I’ve set up a little scavenger hunt for you, and yes, you have to do it,” she chuckled as she shook her head. “Maybe you will find out what it’s for as you go along, but for right now, I’m gonna give you five.”

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, “Five what?” 

Turning the paper over to its back, she saw five numbers with writing next to them, “#1-You’re kind - I’ve never met someone with such a pure and honest heart. The kindness you treat others with never ceases to amaze me, even if they were an asshole at some bar. It’s one of the reasons that I fell for you,” she smiled, his words warming her heart.

“#2- You’re thoughtful - Whenever I feel like shit, or even Sam, you always know. You always cook us a meal, or talk to us and somehow manage to make us open up. You always make me feel so loved. I never thought that I deserved it, but you’re always there to help me, no matter what,” she felt anger bubble up inside of her, he did deserve love, and she would never stop trying to convince him.

“#3- You’re compassionate - It’s like you have some kind of superpower to be able to feel how others are. Whenever I felt at my lowest, you were right there with me. It seemed like you felt the exact pain I was going through and because of that, I never felt alone. You are the reason that I never feel alone.”

“#4- You’re an awesome friend - Even before we started dating, you were always so attentive, so helpful. You set the bar high for anyone who tries to call themselves a good friend. When Sam was struggling and hurting, you even went out and bought him a salad. A damn salad! You put on his favorite TV show and sat down with him the entire night. I remember he told me the day after that if I didn’t marry you, he would kill me,” she chuckled and blushed, happy that his brother wanted them to be together as well.

“#5- You’re a great mom - Ever since our girl was born, you were always hovering over her, always making sure she was safe and healthy. I swear I’ve had to drag you away from her crib just so you could get some sleep when she was first born. The amount of love that you look at our kid with, I never knew how much it would affect me. Whenever we’re asleep, if she cries, you always told me to go back to sleep and that you would handle it. No other mom could compare to you, and I know our kid knows that too,” she began to tear up. “Damn it, Dean. Making me cry this early in the morning,” she choked out a laugh, wiping her eyes.

Below the fifth number, there was some more writing, “Go to the place that you and Sam have hung out the most. This should be an easy one,” she could practically see his eye roll as he wrote this and instantly knew where to look, the library.

She left the room with the paper in her hand and made her way over to the library. She didn’t realize it, but he could have probably hidden the paper somewhere within the hundreds of books they had. Huffing, she solidified her resolve and got to digging, opening up books and flipping through them to see if the paper was inside. After about a half hour and two hundred books later, she sighed out tired and sat down on one of the chairs at the table. 

“How the hell am I-” she began before she perked up. She remembered that she and Sam had spent a lot of time under the table when they first met; they wrote basically all the most important information they could need on monsters in bullet points. She also remembered Dean saying they were acting like children but she didn’t care, it was a great way to bond with Sam and they both had a lot of fun.

Reaching under the table and feeling around, she felt a piece of paper taped to the bottom, “Bingo.”

Pulling it out from under the table, “I know the first note had a bit of stuff written before the numbers, but moving on, mostly just the numbers and the location of the next paper will be written.”

Bracing herself, she turned over the paper and began to read, “#6- You’re selfless - You care about others more than yourself. While other people call that heroic, I hate it. You always want to jump in front of me when a monster is attacking or pushing me out of the way, when really, I’m the one who should be doing that. You’ve given me so many goddamn heart attacks, I’m gonna die one of these days. But I also love it, because it goes to show just how incredible you are. Always looking out for other people was my thing, but then you came along and smacked me in the face. I remember you said, “Well then who the hell is gonna look out for you, Winchester?” I’ve come to realize that I love it, because I know you will always be there for me,” she giggled, remembering that very day where she slapped him and told him that. 

“#7- You’re super smart - I thought that Sam was smart, but then you came along. You taught us both things that we never knew and I’ve always been jealous of how smart you are. Don’t feel bad babe, I’m just trying to compliment you. Every time we were stumped on a hunt, you spent no more than five minutes thinking before you figured out a way to get us out or to save more people. You’re the reason so many of our hunts go better than they would normally, and I know every family we save is grateful to you for that.”

“#8- You’re aces at researching - I hate researching, we all know that. But with you, Sam finally had someone to geek out with and to help research on a case. Both of your minds combined prove to be the most powerful thing in this world, no monster stands a chance. I have no idea how you actually enjoy it but I won't argue with it, for it’s saved all of our asses multiple times.”

“#9- You can cut a man's hair like a boss - Neither me or Sam are big fans of barber shops, so I’m also extremely thankful that you can cut hair. I don’t think anyone has cut my hair as well as you have, and you always manage to get it just the way I want it. I love you,” no matter how many times she heard him say it, it always managed to make her blush and her heart to beat faster. 

Smiling, she continued, “#10- You’re a great photographer - I never liked pictures and honestly I don’t think that I ever will. Thankfully, you force me to get in them and I’m so glad that you do. Because of it, we have so many beautiful pictures to look at and reminisce. My favorite picture you’ve taken was the one of all of us together. You set up the camera and had us all sit down on the couch, our kid on my lap. The happiness I felt that day with all of you was one of the greatest I had ever felt in my life. I will be forever grateful to you that you took that picture.”

Once again, there was more writing underneath the numbers, “Go to the place where I spend the most time in the bunker.”

It took her all of three seconds to know where he was talking about, their bedroom. She was slightly confused, due to the fact that the first paper was there, but continued on and went to their shared bedroom.

Opening the door, she looked around and wondered where the hell he could have put it. The bed? The closet? Under one of the guns? She thought back to his exact words “I spend the most time” and blushed. When they first started dating and even after they got married, Dean was insatiable. Always dragging her to the bed to try out something new, but she loved it every time. Walking over to the bed, she flung over the sheets to the side and saw a piece of paper under them on Dean’s side of the bed. 

Grabbing the paper, she read, “I could almost see the blush on your face babe, turn to the back,” she blushed harder at the fact that he knew exactly what she was thinking and followed his instructions.

“#11- You’re a loving wife - I never thought that someone as perfect and beautiful as you would even give me a second glance. Turns out, you would. I thought that you were just infatuated and that you would “get over me” but thank God you proved me wrong. Every single day, you make sure that I feel cherished, and I can’t even put into words how incredible that feels. I’ve never felt loved in the way that you give me before, and it’s a feeling that I never want to lose. I love you more than I’ve loved anything in my entire life.” She could feel the tears falling from her eyes onto the piece of paper, “Dammit, Dean. Now you’ve done it,” she sniffled.

“#12- You have a great accent - Just hearing you talk is like music to my ears. Don’t even get me started on your laugh, it's one of the cutest things I’ve ever heard and I can’t help but laugh right along with you whenever you do. That very same voice comforts me when I feel like shit, compliments me when I try and look good for you, and whispers sexy nothings into my ear that drives me insane,” her blush from before returned instantly, her face red as a tomato, a nervous giggle escaping her lips.

“#13- You’re absolutely gorgeous - From the moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew that you were everything that I wanted. Your eyes shine brighter than any light I’ve ever seen and your body is perfect, no matter how self conscious you get. I swear if I could, I would grab all of your doubts and insecurities and send them straight into the Empty, because you are perfect. You don’t need makeup, your natural beauty already puts all other people to rest.”

“Am I gonna be blushing this entire damn day? Jesus, Dean,” she chuckled.

“#14- You have incredible red hair - After I met you, my new favorite color was red. The way it shines off of the sunlight as the wind flows it through your face. I could just sit there and watch you for hours. You put Rowena to shame, babe.”

“#15- You wear plaid and “Winchester Clothes” - I think you look perfect in anything you wear but damn, the way you look in my clothes. It’s one of the reasons why I can’t get enough of you,” her face was so heated that she felt like she was going to explode. 

Taking a few moments to collect herself, she began reading once more, “You wear plaid better than Sam and I, and I’m all for it, babe.”

Once again, there was more writing underneath it, “Go to the thing I love fourth most on this planet.” 

She knew that herself, Sam, and her child were the first three, so Baby had to be the fourth. Shaking her head with a laugh, she left the room and went over to the garage. She still didn’t understand the point of all of this, when will the numbers end? Why is it all about me? She had a few questions swimming around her mind but continued on regardless. 

Reaching the garage, she walked over to Baby and opened the drivers side door, getting in and closing the door behind her. She looked around the seats and under them, checking the back as well. She was about to go check the trunk until she opened the passengers side compartment and saw a piece of paper inside. 

“I know you must be wondering what this is all about since you’re adorably oblivious, but just enjoy the ride, sweetheart. You’re almost finished.” She sighed in annoyance with a smile on her face, “Who says I’m oblivious?”

She turned the paper around to see another five numbers written on it, “#16- You’re a good hugger - Now, while this might seem kinda like “ok?? What’s so good about that?” kinda thing, it isn’t to me. I can’t even count the amount of times that I felt broken, and you hugged me. It felt like you were slowly putting all the pieces back together by simply holding me. It gave me such a comforting feeling, once again reminding me that I wasn’t alone, and that you were there for me. I only hope that I can manage to do the same for you.”

“Of course you do, you dummy,” she laughed out, trying to hold her tears back. The sheer amount of times that she felt safe in his arms was uncountable. She was so grateful to him for that and she felt overjoyed that she was able to do the same for him. 

“#17- You’re resilient - I remember the time that you were captured by demons to trap me. You held up for an entire day of torture without giving them an inch. I still haven’t forgiven myself for that, but I’m so glad that you managed to convince me to stay with you. We both remember how scared I was of losing you, how I still am. But if you didn’t convince me to stay, I wouldn’t be happy like I am now. I wouldn’t be married to the most incredible woman on this planet and I wouldn’t have a child that I would do anything for. I love you, Tabby.” 

She vividly remembered that time, she also remembered how horrible she felt for putting Dean through that. She was just as glad as he was that they managed to get past it and move on with their relationship. 

“#18- You have a vivid imagination - Before every hunt, you would always think of different ways that things could go down and explain it to us. Because of that, whenever the plan doesn’t work, we have what you perceived to help us win. You’re so incredible, sweetheart. That imagination has also helped in the bedroom, if you know what I mean.”

She could practically see the wink and smirk on his face, finding herself blushing once again at his implication, “You just had to go there, didn’t you?” she asked rhetorically with a chuckle. 

“#19- You love me - Yeah yeah yeah, I said it, suck it up. I think you are incredible because you love me, alright? You make me feel special and… goddamn it, now you got me talking about chick flick stuff. The amount of love written in your eyes whenever you look at me never ceases to take my breath away. I’m so grateful to you that you chose me out of all people to give your love to, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to be the person that you deserve.”

She felt her heart warm at his words, but also anger began to rise up inside of her, “You deserve love more than anyone else, you idiot.”

“#20- You’re a great mentor - When all those refugees came from the other world, you were the first to volunteer to teach them new things and to show them around our own. Because of you, all of them managed to adjust so much quicker to this world than they would have with us. Because of you, they managed to leave the bunker and go live out in our society. You are amazing, Tabby.”

“Go to the place that we had our first argument.”

She instantly recognized where he meant, the torture room. It was easy to remember because it was the first time that she thoroughly disagreed with him on something. They argued about whether they should use it to torture monsters or not, for her heart was still so pure, even monsters weren’t on her torture list.

Tabby closed the compartment in the passenger seat and got out of the car, all of the papers still in her hand, and walked through the winding turns of the bunker until eventually she reached the room. Going inside, she knew that the paper would be relatively easy to find, for the room was basically empty except for the chair in the middle of the room. Surely enough, when she walked in, the paper was sitting directly on top of the chair. 

She walked towards it and picked it up, “I remember this argument damn well, it was the first time we disagreed on something so heavily. In my defense, I had the mark at the time we had this argument so I’m using that as an excuse. Tough luck, sweetheart.”

She shook her head and scoffed, turning the paper over to read what she assumed were the next five numbers. 

“#21- Your sneeze is cute - Sure, this might seem irrelevant, but it’s not to me. Sometimes I would purposefully try and get you to sneeze just so I can hear how adorable it is. And yes, the pepper inside of the book you were reading was put there by me, I’m sorry, ok?! I just wanted to hear that cute sneeze of yours, I hope you’re not mad, princess.”

“Of fucking course,” she snorted.

“#22- You get overly excited about the smallest gifts or gestures - I have no idea why, but you just do. Yet another thing that is impossibly adorable about you. I remember I bought you a simple damn necklace I got for like $10 and you freaked out. I think it’s because you appreciate everything, no matter how small it is, and that is what makes you unattainable, baby. So precious and special, no man can have you. I just know that my favorite reaction from you was when I gave you that wedding ring. The look on your face when I got on my knees and took it out of my pocket was the best thing I have ever laid my eyes on. I truly love you, and I will try my damn hardest to always make sure you know that.”

She couldn’t help the tears from streaming down her eyes while she played with the ring on her finger, reminiscing about that day. It was the happiest day in her entire life, aside from when she gave birth to her daughter.

“#23- You love your mom - Now this might seem like an “oh everyone loves their parents, not a big deal” kind of thing, but with you it isn’t. You’re always checking up on her and seeing how she is, always offering to help with something when you really don’t need to. The amount of love and contempt you speak with when you talk about your mom is ridiculous, I’ve never seen someone able to hold so much love inside of their body. It’s inspiring and makes me want to be a better person. I don’t remember feeling that kind of love before, until you came along. You might argue that I felt it with Cassie or something but that was nothing compared to this. Hell, it makes it seem like a high school crush compared to how I feel about you. I never thought that I could love something or someone so much, but you came along and completely changed all of that.”

He was right and she knew it. Tabby loved her mom with everything that she had, and she was euphoric to know that she could give Dean that feeling as well.

“#24- You descent from fucking Vikings - I mean come on! How awesome is that? I’m so honored to be able to call you mine. You badass, intelligent, independent, incredible woman. This explanation is kinda short but come ON! Vikings??”

She giggled to herself as she read along, proud of her heritage and her bloodline.

“#25- You cook up the best breakfast - You are a goddamn Chef, babe. Ever since you walked into the bunker, me and Sam have been living the high life every morning with your damn good food. I used to think that I could cook well until you made our first meal. I knew then that I would bow down to you and beg for you to cook every meal I ever ate from then on.”

She smirked proudly to herself, knowing that she could cook up a killer meal.

“You’re almost done sweetheart, just one more. Go to the place that has to do with the last number.”

“Simple enough; the kitchen,” she spoke mostly to herself.

Even through all of this, she still couldn’t wrap her mind around what was going on. Maybe Dean was right and she was simply oblivious. Either way, she was having more fun than she would admit and was silently reveling in the amount of things that he found amazing about her.

Leaving the room, she made her way over to the kitchen, pausing at the door and once again huffing out.

“How the hell am I supposed to find a piece of paper in all of this?” she rhetorically asked, exasperated. 

Stomping her foot once or twice, she recalled the last piece of paper, reading once again that this was the last one. 

“Fine. Fine fine fine, this better be the last one,” she reluctantly gave in.

Tabby spent twenty minutes looking around for the damned paper, rummaging through the cupboards and even checking the oven. She sat down at the table and ran her fingers through her hair, arguing in her mind whether to continue to search for it or just find Dean and ask what the hell was going on. She decided to keep looking, already having gotten this far. There was only one other place that she hadn’t looked, once again, under the table.

“I swear if it’s under here,” she muttered while reaching her hand under the table and feeling around for the paper. 

Surely enough, she felt it and rolled her eyes, pulling it out from under and reading it, “Congratulations babe, you reached the end, though, I’m not done yet. Turn over to the back one last time.”

She followed his instructions, turning over to the back and noticing five more numbers written down.

“#26- You bake the best pies - I think this one is self-explanatory, but I’ll go ahead and explain it anyways. You, Hallie, and Sam are my top three, Baby is my fourth, and pie is my fifth favorite thing in this world. The first time you made me a pecan pie, I had to hold myself back from moaning loud enough that the damn angels in heaven wouldn’t hear me. Once again, babe, you are a goddamn Chef and you can cook better than anyone else on this planet. Yet another reason I fell for you, what can I say, bake me a pie and you’ve won yourself my heart.”

She chuckled at his ridiculous love for pies, though, she loved baking them, for Dean wasn’t the only one who loved them. She recalled multiple times that they had to fight over the last slice, resulting in them splitting it.

“#27- You can play the guitar - I love rock music, and every rock song has a guitar in it. You play the guitar. Put the pieces together. Come onnn, you can do it. Am I really gonna have to spell it out for you? Fine. I love rock music, you can play rock music, I love you. Once again, princess, you are completely oblivious.”

“Shut up,” she muttered angrily, a small smile on her face no matter how hard she tried to hold it back.

“#28- You have an amazing voice - Even though you don’t agree, me and Sam love listening to you sing. You sound like an angel and if you would, I would ask you to lull me to sleep. Your voice calms me down and always brings a smile to my face. Your voice is just as beautiful as you are, Tab, and I hope you know that, forever walking this Earth.”

She was blushing furiously, for she never thought that she was a good singer. To hear it from someone she held so dearly, was nothing short of incredible. 

“#29- You always try to save everyone you can - Obviously, every hunter should try and do that, but you go above and beyond. It’s not even limited to hunting. I remember that one time a bee somehow got into the bunker and I was two seconds away from killing it. You stopped me and instead trapped it in a glass and released it back outside, saving its life. You are so pure and radiate positivity, it’s just unheard of.”

She remembered that time; Dean had his shoe in his hand and was just about to swat it until she caught his hand and took control of the situation. Tabby always had the ideology that nothing deserved to die unless it did harm to others, and it had served her well as a human being.

“#30- You gave me our child - Another thing that I am infinitely grateful for and will always love you for. Because of you, I have managed to love not two, but three people in this world with everything that I have. Our child looks just like you, sweetheart. Which means that she is the most beautiful child on this planet and she’s gonna be a heartbreaker when she grows up, just like her mom.” Tabby chuckled with a fond smile, their child really was beautiful. 

She was wondering what was next, for this was the last paper, until she read the message on the bottom, “Boo!”

“Huh?” she asked out loud before she felt a presence behind her.

Turning around, she was shocked to see Dean with their daughter in his arms, Sam next to them.

“Oh my gosh, what’s this all about?” Tabby asked, getting out of her seat and taking her daughter from Dean’s hands.

“Did you forget what day it is?” Sam asked with a grin.

She thought back to the date and remembered that it was her birthday, “Oh! Right!”

Sam chuckled and shook his head while Dean just gave her a loving look, “Happy birthday, baby, I love you,” he spoke softly, before kissing her softly.

“I love you too, but what’s up with all of the numbers and the scavenger hunt?” she questioned, still as oblivious as ever.

“You’re turning thirty so I wrote thirty things that are amazing about you, sweetheart,” Dean replied, slightly smirking at his dumbfounded wife. 

She felt tears prick at her eyes as she looked at him, “I love you, Dean.”

She pulled him into a hug with their child included, Hallie giggling slightly in her arms.

“And I love you, Tabatha Winchester.”

Forevers Tag List: @magssteenkamp​ @shadowsinger11​ @donnaintx​ @flamencodiva​

[horrorslashergirl]

A Chromeskull/Jesse Cromeans x Preston Fanfiction

I don‘t know what I just wrote, but cut me some slack. I wanted to try and write some more male x male and ended up using #1 slasher Jesse. Plus I wanted to experiment some on their ‘mysterious’ relationship.

They say that some things should stay hidden behind closed doors and Jesse was a very discrete man; been a wealthy CEO with a secret killing organization took some talent and Jesse was that kind of man, but even the most gruesome killers have hidden secrets, excluding the hobby of murdering and snuff-filming these crimes.

Now, Jesse was known by his past partners and sadly deceased wife, that he had a very high libido, and loved young, pretty women, but he also liked to play for the other team. The ones in his organization never questioned or dared to make fun of his sexuality, unless they had a death wish or fetish on themselves.

Preston was his second in command next to Spann, her being more of an assistant to the tall and bald man. Jesse and Preston had known each other for a long time, probably in their earlier twenties when little by little Jesse put the legs together of this now billions of dollars organization.

What started as a fool around and joke of misunderstood sexuality, turned into something much deeper and ended up between bedsheets.

It was kind of funny to picture this two together, always at each others necks in a constant competition of who’s the best killer or who’s the manliest.

The first time started as any other night of no killing piggies. Preston joined Jesse into a night of drinking at his house, discussing the possibilities of new piggies to hunt, until they started an argument of no reason. It was full of tension, getting into each others faces, Preston being much smaller than Jesse, eyes glaring into each others, lips pulled into a snarl and it was too much, until Jesse grasped Preston by the back of his neck, pulling the smaller male into a kiss full of anger, lust and tension that you can cut it with a knife.

When the kiss ended the black haired male had his eyes wide open, mouth parted, not knowing what to say.

“Boss...This is....I didn’t knew.” Now, Preston wasn’t a shy man, much like Jesse he had women at his feet and how could he not? Slicked black hair, dark eyes that could make you shiver, handsome smirk, sharp jawline...the whole package.

‘Don’t question me. Do you want this or not?’ Jesse signed, his breathing matching Prestons.

None could picture the headstrong Preston as gay, and he always made that clear when some of the organization questioned his relationship with the boss, but now? He didn’t knew; call him bi-curious, but he had to admit that the temptation of being bedded by his boss and also very good friend of a long time was getting to him

Prestons reply was simple, he pulled Jesse into a kiss, his hands grasping his black dress-shirt. Now that was a surprise for the taller male, he knew Preston very well, but he never knew that he would drop the wall and let him has his way.

Neverless, Jesse was happy and reciprocated the kiss with vigor.

The next few hours were a blur for mostly; both of them undressed, leave for their black dress shirts open as Jesse had Preston on his lap, their lengths hard, the bald mans hand wrapped around their cocks, rubbing them together and smearing the precum on the heads.

Jesse’s brown eye took in the blushing and pleasure-filled face of the man on his lap, usually always trying to be intimidating, trying to play the alpha male title. How wrong Preston was; if there was an Alpha male, Jesse was it.

“F-Fuck...Boss.” Preston groaned, his hands on the others broad shoulder.

Jesse pulled away from their lengths so he could sign.

‘No. Call me Jesse. This is not work.’

He will give Preston this luxury, of calling him by his first name.

Next Preston found himself on his knees between Jesse’s legs, sucking the bigger male off or at last trying to fit what he could into his mouth. Jesse’s hand rubbed on the black hair atop of the smaller males head, urging him to suck.

It was the first time Preston saw what was his boss packing and he understood why all the females Jesse had bedded came stumbling and complained the next day of soreness.

Jesse was big, so much bigger than Preston, girthy and veiny, plus the tattoo flames at the base of his dick made it all the more intimidating. All that Preston worried about was how? How was he going to fit that inside him.

Like he read his thoughts Jesse pulled him away, stopping his sucking.

‘Don’t worry about it. I’m gonna make it fit.’ he signed. Well, that didn’t relaxed him.

The preeping was a little weird at first, been bend over Jesse’s desk with all his clothe off and legs spread wide, Preston felt vulnerable, especially when he felt the others man hand on his back, rubbing the tense muscels. Jesse spread the black haired males buttcheeks, seeing the puckered and small hole. Yes, its gonna be a long ride, but he knew it would be worth it; having Preston surrender completley to him.

The 30 minutes of preparing went more like hours, being lubed and having Jesse stretch him with his fingers was making him groan and moan, even whimper, sounds that he had never made in his life during sexual activities.

Then he felt nothing and that only scared Preston more. He turned his head over his shoulder, seeing Jesse lube his own cock and he gulped down, feeling the head of his boss cock rub onto his puckered hole, pushing against the tight muscels.

He grinded his teeth, feeling the head slip inside, then the rest, slowly and gentle, so unlike Jesse. It made him wonder if it was really Jesse who had him being fucked.

Both of them stilled as Jesse managed to fit everything inside, he had to control himself or else he would destroy Preston and it would be nothing benefic, for neither of them.

It all started slow, pulling out and pushing in, one pair of hands grasping the edge of the desk, the other pair grasping hips. From afar you could confuse this as making love, but it wasn’t love, not in Jesse’s opinion; it was pure ownership and male domination, only Preston didn’t realized that.

When he felt the other relax he started to pick things up, with each thrust the power he send into Prestons body was more intense. The black haired male felt himself closing in, but it was ripped from him as Jesse pulled away from him, picking him up and walking out of his office and upstairs to his bedroom.

Prestons eyes widened as he saw them approach the big double doors that lead to Jesse’s master bedroom and the king-sized bed that only the luckiest had ever seen. He was thrown on his back on the bed, his eyes taking in Jesse’s form, so intimidating, the tattoos shining with sweat over his body, chest heaving up and down.

“W-What?” his voice was rasped, feeling weird in his boss bed.

‘You’re mine now, little bitch.’ Jesse signed, glaring down at him, then pulled his legs apart, showing himself back inside, making the male underneath him choke on a silent scream.

The next minutes were intense and he felt so dizzy, being mounted by Jesse, his hands pinned on either side of his head, their eyes looking into each other, then he felt it, the most mind-crushing orgasm of his life, jets of cum painting both of their torso in white.

Preston was ready for Jesse to pull out as he felt him twitch inside him, but his eyes widened as he felt a warm feeling deep inside him, something that made his toes curl. He just came inside him.

“W-Why? P-Pull out.” Preston tried to say, only for his jaw to be grasped tightly by the Alpha male. A warning.

Jesse let his jaw go, so he could sign to Preston.

‘I don’t think you realize in what situation you are, but let me clear things up for you. I own you and if you want to have a smooth life in my organization I suggest you learn to know your place...That includes being underneath me...from all points of view.’

That’s maybe the first time Preston was really scared of Jesse and he realized it now. Being bedded by Chromeskull always came with a price.

[lelenoir]

What type of au's will your moots fit in? And which nct member/s will be in that au??

okAY this took a very long time for me to plot out [this has been rotting away for DAYS and im sorry to the anon who sent it 😭]. but hey i hope you like this anon!! even tho it took a LONG time. it's only been three(?) days but still...

@yourjaylaks

let us start with my very smol friend, jen. she's very artistic and most of all really geeky. im a geek as well so seeing someone that can relate to the shit i deal with is really fucking relieving. the umbrella academy au hehe she was the first person i told about my plan of writing something like that and she wasted no time in hyping me up. hmm i'll pair her up with number 5!renjun KSKSKSKS he'd like teasing you a lot and the way you get frustrated whenever he randomly teleports himself around you omg- i'll set this au maybe before he travels forward. he'd teleport himself outside of the academy every night and meets up with you at the local park. *angst coming thru* he had a crush on you, and when he went forward you were all he thought about. he even named his mannequin wife after you 😭 it devasted him to know you died before he could even find his way back.

@jenoir

next up, the loml, my one and only, engel. she's very sweet and i'd honestly give the WORLD to her. i wanna shower her with kithes everyday and give her the love she deserves (camille stop). anyways for au,,,,, an fbi agent au!!!!! we talk about the fbi looking through our phones a lot so 👀 for pairing hmm i think agent!jaemin will do the trick. engel deserves a LOT of love that i think only jaemin can give hehe also can u imagine working with jaemin and it's just him persistently flirting. whEW. this would be a slowburn type of fic with you not wanting to be easily swayed by his words. the two of you would laugh about the messages (ex. cringy flirting) of the people/phone numbers assigned to you and just have a blast ya know. this would be very cracky i can tell.

@butterbeeryuta

niKIIIIIIIIII, my crACK queen!! first off, she's very outspoken and i LOVE that about her. also very very supportive and shit and uwu i wanna hug her :< for her im thinking of a very cracky office au. like the chaos she exudes is enough to make any scenario cracky and im all here for it. she'd go very well with boss!heachan. she'd be the one looking disappointedly at the camera, seconds after haechan says/does something stupid and vice versa. also the banter---just imagine. hOnestly id PAY to see that. someone hand me the popcorn.

@flirtyhyuck

kathy. my babie. my very lovely friend. he's the type of person you go to to have a good time becaUSE EVERY TIME I TALK TO HIM IS A GOOD TIME. i love u bub,, you never fail to amaze me. an au suited for him would be a kind of highschool/college roadtrip au??? he strikes me as someone very smart and outgoing (if im wrong im sorry sksks) and idk why but in this au im pairing u up with best friend!jungwoo sinces he's fucking cute and loveable and so are you 😡 i see this au going as a sort of friends to lovers au(??) where you go on this road trip with your best friend in order to scratch it off your bucket list before y'all separate before graduation only to fall in love with each other halfway hehe.

@jungstruly

next is yAng, my vrO. hmmm she's interesting. i kid you not yang is a very interesting person. we haven't messaged each other a lot and i can't look back on our previous convos in my old blog ksksksk hmmmm i can def see a photographer au with her liKe haVE YOU SEEN HER PICTURES???? omg i'd make her take pics of me everYDAY. okok im gonna be cliche here and pair you up with model/frat boy!lucas hehe i was thinking of hendery but then thought fuCk it let's give her lucas. the story would go as you being the vv timid and smol photography major asking this enormous and loud attractive human to model for her final assignment in college. uGh what a sight. i STAN this ship. the only otp that matters 😔✊

@soulmatefics

next is my cool bby gabs. i miss u bb :( gabs is a sweetheart, honestly how can you NOT love her????????????? she's very nice hehe. anyways au. *clasps hands together* i think a very suitable one for her might be a gamer au? i can distinctly remember her telling me about playing games a lot whenever i ask her how her day went. i pretty much pair u with gamer!jeno hehe i feel like he'd also be into the cute games you play and would play it with u often just to see u smile. also my girl is trying to be healthy and fit,,, believe me jeno would be the PERFECT person to help u with that.

@moonlightjeno

okAy luna-- one of my first friends here <3 luna is very good with words (haVE U SEEN HER FICS??) and is just a very amazing person in general. i can see her be part of an author au, luna being this bigshot best selling writer with best friend/author/proofreader!mark. our friendship was founded through proofreading so i thought why not? mark has great eye on things except fashion and would easily spot any mistake which helped you a lot with your novels. he's very very supportive so whenever u feel down or unmotivated he'll try to help in any way and not make you feel bad for taking a break. i can see him dedicating his first book for you and honestly that's fucking cute.

@luvhrjun

lastly, anie uwu. i just stalked one of your tags and i can def imagine u in an 80s au and add in a wild crime au just for the heck of it! anie is sooOo nice, we never talked much in my old blog and most of the asks i send you are just me telling you to sleep 😭 in this fic im pairing u up with store clerk!hendery. here we tell the story of your nightly visits to the store which piques the curiosity of the night shift employee. it was on one night, you visit the store as usual, when the two of you accidentally witness a murder being done by a very powerful mafia figure. soon you were thrusted in this dangerous world. the police can't help you two now and hendery is dead set on protecting you as he drives miles away to mexico where, hopefully, they can't find you. whEw this became intense sorry skskksks

okay this was really fun hehe send more pls!

[nazariolahela]

Something Domestic: Chapter 16

A/N: Hey y'all! This story is told in first-person narrative, from Riley’s (MC) POV. There will likely be smidges of canon in this, but not too much. Thanks for reading, and please leave feedback, and/or if you would like to be tagged.

I’m sorry this is so late. January has been crazy busy for me at work. Just wanted to let y’all know that next week is the final chapter in Riley and Liam’s story. I promise I will have that one out on time. 😉 

Catch up here

Series Tags: @burnsoslow @aworldoffandoms @dcbbw @ladyangel70 @texaskitten30 @sunandlemons @jlynn12273 @indiacater @jared2612 @rainbowsinthestorm @drakesensworld @badchoicesposts @msjr0119 @katurrade @blackcoffee85 @cynicalworlds-blog @hopefulmoonobject @cmestrella @sugarandspice-milkandhoney @superharrietsuper @custaroonie @lady-calypso @ritachacha @olympianpantsuit @desiree-0816 @the-soot-sprite @kate-mckenzie @narrytheworld @octobereighth @lynne1993 @queen-anastasia-universe @loveellamae @sarzkh31​ @iaminlovewithtrr

Synopsis: When Riley Brooks takes a new job as a nanny for the affluent Rhys family in New York’s Upper East Side, she assumes she’s just going to care for the children of the couple who hired her. But instead of just school pick-ups and afternoon snacks, she also finds herself spending time with Liam, the handsome divorced dad. Can Riley control her feelings for Liam while still performing the job she was hired for?

All characters are the property of Pixelberry Studios. Thanks for allowing me to borrow them.

Chapter Summary: Riley makes a tough decision, and Liam finally confronts Madeleine.

“Miss Riley? Can we go see Dora and Diego again?” Andrew asks, tugging on my sleeve. We’re walking down Broadway on our way to lunch. After that, we’ll make our way to the Children’s Museum of Manhattan. Today is an in-service day, so he has the day off from school. It’s kind of nice to be able to go out in public again with the kids I watch. I haven’t encountered a single paparazzo in over a month. I smile as I adjust his stocking cap and wipe the snot running from his red nose. I then pull the collar of my winter coat up and we continue our walk.

“We will. But we need to eat first. Okay, bud?”

“Can I have chicken nuggets? Dad says I can’t have them, but Grandma always sneaks me some when she comes over.”

I giggle. Andrew is such a fun kid. He’s the sweetest nine-year-old I have ever met. And always so polite. I’ve been his nanny for almost a month now. Every morning, he greets me at the door of their townhouse with a picture he drew the night before. And every evening before I leave, he invites me to stay for dinner and offers to share his food with me. His dads hired me after Madeleine kicked me to the curb. Thankfully the agency didn’t terminate my employment. During my first interview with Adam and Derek, I asked them if my tabloid issue would be a problem. They looked at each other and smirked. Then Adam reminded me that neither of them were interested in me that way, so I have nothing to worry about. 

Truthfully, they’re the nicest couple I’ve worked for. They go out of their way to make sure I have everything I need to take care of their son. They’ve even invited me to move in with them to be a live-in nanny. Both Adam and Derek travel a lot for work, so I spend a good amount of time with Andrew. Derek’s mom stays with him in the evenings and on weekends when they’re both gone, but she’s getting older and they fear she won’t be around too much longer. They offered me free room and board, and a personal vehicle to use at my leisure, but I can’t seem to commit to giving up my apartment. 

We arrive at Fred’s — one of my favorite spots in Manhattan — and grab a table. It’s my preferred restaurant in New York City that allows dogs. Even though I haven’t had a dog since high school, I love coming here because it reminds me of my parents’ old Lab, Coco. The waiter arrives at our table and I order the Turkey Club for me and the Sesame Chicken Fingers for Andrew. As we eat, Andrew talks about their upcoming trip to Cabo and asks me if I’m going to come with them.

“I don’t know, bud. I’d have to check with your dads.”

“They said that if you moved in with us, you could,” he replies and shoves a chicken strip in his mouth. I guess that’s one of the perks of being a live-in nanny. You’re basically a member of the family.

After lunch, we head over to CMOM. Andrew helps Diego rescue animals and plays the drums at Dora’s house. I laugh as I snap photos of him on my iPhone, sending them in a group text to Derek and Adam. After a few hours of fun, I gather Andrew up and we make our trek back to his townhouse. On the way home, we walk past an ice cream shop. He grabs my hand and begs me to buy him a treat. My mind wanders to when I used to take Philip here and my eyes begin to water. Nope. Not gonna cry.

“Sure. Let’s go, bud,” I reply as we enter the shop.

We arrive home shortly after and I send Andrew upstairs to wash up for dinner. A few minutes later, the door opens and Derek’s mom, Patricia walks in. 

“Hello, dear. How was your day? I assume my grandson was on his best behavior?”

I laugh. “He always is.” She smiles and pats my shoulder before making her way into the kitchen to start preparing dinner. I follow her into the kitchen and pull ingredients out of the fridge for her. 

“So, how are things with the boy toy?” she asks as she cuts up some vegetables. 

“I think I’m going to have to break up with him.”

She stops cutting and stares at me. “What’s going on?”

I chew on my bottom lip. “I’m in love with someone else.”

She points the knife in her hand to a stool, motioning for me to sit. “Spill it.” I tell her everything about Liam and me, the kids, the divorce, and the tabloid scandal. I then tell her about Josh and how nice and how good looking he is, and how bad I feel for wanting to dump him. Her brows form a deep V as she listens to my sob story. Then, she reaches over and places her hand on mine.

“Let me tell you something, dear. Before I married my Elliot, there was someone else. Sure, he was a whole bowl of eye candy and a demon in the sack, but he wasn’t what I needed. We didn’t have that connection.”

I frown. “But, he’s been so good to me these past few weeks. I feel like an asshole.”

“You will for a while, sure. But it’s not fair to give him false hope with another man waiting in the wings. The best thing you can do is be honest with him.”

“But what if he hates me?”

She chuckles. “If he truly cares about you, he’ll want you to be happy.”

I nod, taking in her words, then check my watch. “Shit. I gotta go meet Josh. I’ll see you in the morning, Patricia! Thanks for everything!” She waves as I grab my bag from the living room and rush out the door.

***

Half an hour later, I sit at Starbeans, fiddling with the cardboard sleeve of my coffee cup. I replay the events of last week. After a month of not talking to Hana or Liam, I was able to reconnect with both of them. My heart feels full again. Except now I have to work up the courage to break things off with Josh. To be honest, it’s always been about Liam. Even after no contact for a month, I held out hope he would find out who leaked the story and come crawling back to me.

Speaking of. I can’t believe that bitch Madeleine set me up. I try to figure out why she would do that to me. I’ve never been anything but an exceptional nanny to her kids. Why would she try to ruin my life? Liam said it was because she never wanted the divorce, but wanted to continue fucking other men. Philip and Charlotte are the perfect children and from what I learned from his friends, Liam was a wonderful husband. Some people are never happy, I guess.

I spot Josh strolling into the coffee shop. He’s wearing his signature charcoal gray suit, his phone pressed to his ear, and his black leather messenger bag draped over his shoulder. His brown eyes sparkle as he locates me and makes his way over to my table. In another life, I think I could be happy with Josh. But ever since I met Liam, I haven’t been able to look at another man like that. He ends his call and leans over, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I motion for him to take a seat.

“Let me grab something to drink,” he says, moving toward the counter.

I point to the coffee cup sitting across the table. He smiles and takes a seat, bringing the cup to his lips, and takes a sip. “So, how was work today? Did you and Andrew do anything fun?”

“We did. I took him to Fred’s, then we visited CMOM.”

He smiles. “That’s awesome. Glad you guys had fun. And how are things with Hana? Have you guys been talking?”

Josh is aware of mine and Hana’s falling out. I practically talked his ear off about it on our first date. Instead of running for the hills at the first sign of my crazy, he sat there and listened, offering advice on how to fix our relationship. Another reason why I feel bad about what I’m about to do. It’s only been a few weeks, but he’s a great guy and I really like him. The only problem is my heart doesn’t belong to him. Patricia’s words ring in my mind. It wouldn’t be fair to string him along while pining for another man.

“Things are good. We’re having dinner later this week.”

“I’m glad you two could make up. I know how hard it’s been not having her in your life. What about Liam?”

I pause, “What about him?”

“Your friend Drake said you guys were going through a rough patch as well. He didn’t give up too many details, but he said you guys were close.”

I chewed my bottom lip. “Oh, I...I actually used to work for Liam. I was his kids’ nanny. Until I was let go.”

He cocks an eyebrow and waits for me to continue. “His ex-wife was jealous of our relationship, so she leaked their divorce to the tabloids and blamed me for it.” I then proceed to tell him everything about the last few months. 

Josh nearly spits his coffee. “Wait...you are the homewrecking nanny?” He sputters, wiping his chin. “How did I not put two and two together? You said your old boss fired you because she thought you were sleeping with her husband. And when I saw him at the bar last week, I remembered reading about it in the tabloids.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know why I didn’t recognize you from the story.”

Well, this is awkward. “Yeah...that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about. Look, Josh. You’re an amazing guy, but Liam and I…”

His face falls. “Wait, are you breaking up with me?”

My stomach turns. I’ve only broken up with one boyfriend. He was the star quarterback of my high school football team, and it was after I caught him feeling up the head cheerleader under the bleachers after homecoming. I lean across the table and take his hands in mine. “I’m so sorry Josh. I never meant to hurt you. The truth is, I’m in love with Liam. I have been. And it’s not fair to you to pretend that I’m not.”

He sighs and drops his head. “You know. I always thought this day would come. You’re obviously way out of my league, but I was hoping my luck would change. Is there anything I could have done differently?”

I shake my head and squeeze his hands. “You are an amazing guy and you’re going to make some woman very happy someday. I just know it.”

He nods and stands from his seat. Leaning in, he presses a chaste kiss to my lips. “See you around, Riley,” he says, then turns and walks out. When he’s gone, I exhale and rub the ache in my chest. Just then, my phone chimes. I look down to see a message from Liam. Weird timing. I look around the room to see if he’s here, then open the text.

Here we go. I gather up my purse and hail a cab to my apartment. I drop off my tote bag and freshen up. Twenty minutes later, I arrive in the lobby of Liam’s penthouse and the memories of my firing come flooding back. A woman I don’t recognize sits at the receptionist's desk. She can’t be older than 18. She looks up from her phone and plasters a huge smile on her face. “Good evening, ma’am. How can I help you?”

“Riley Brooks, here to see Liam Rhys.”

She nods and reaches into the desk drawer, pulling out a familiar black envelope. “Mr. Rhys requested that I give this to you. You can just head on up.”

I swallow and take the envelope. I swear this is déjà vu. I take a deep breath and make my way to the elevator, pressing the keycard to the panel. As the car makes its ascension to the penthouse floor, I can’t stop the tears from falling. Being back here brings back so many memories. When the elevator car reaches the top floor, I quickly wipe my cheeks and step into the foyer. Nothing has changed here. Except for the energy. I move further into the townhouse, taking it all in. I hear shuffling and turn to see Liam coming down the stairs. His blue eyes light up as he sees me, and he rushes down the stairs two at a time. Scooping me up in his arms, he plants a slow, sensual kiss to my lips.

“God, how I’ve missed you,” he says, gripping my hips and pulling me against him. His tongue darts out, slipping between my parted lips. Our kiss grows fervent and his hands slip under the hem of my sweater, his fingertips slowly dragging up my sides. I haven’t felt him in so long, my body almost forgot how good it feels when he touches me. We start pawing at each other’s clothes, not noticing Leo stroll into the penthouse.

“Jesus, you two. Get a room.” We break apart as Leo approaches. He inhales deeply. “Smells like sex in here. You two waste no time, huh?”

I shoot him a death glare and Liam just rolls his eyes. “Well, we’re here, let’s get this show on the road,” he says to his brother.

Leo smirks and reaches into his pocket, retrieving his phone. He begins tapping on the screen. “All in good time, little brother. You have to be patient.”

Liam sighs and grabs my hand, guiding me to the sofa. We both take a seat and watch as Leo finishes his text and slips his phone back in his pocket. He sits on the adjacent sofa, wearing a shit-eating grin. I look at Liam in confusion.

“What’s going on?” I ask. Leo holds up his finger. Moments later, the elevator chimes and the doors slide open. Madeleine strolls in, her nose buried in her phone.

“Let’s make this quick, Leo. I have to pick up the kids befo-” she stops when she looks up and sees Liam and I sitting on the couch. Her eyes narrow when she looks at me. “What is she doing here?”

Liam snorts. “I should be asking you the same thing. This is my house.”

“Your brother brought me here. Said we needed to talk.”

Leo takes this moment to stand up and motion for Madeleine to sit. “Have a seat. You, me, my brother, and his nanny need to have a chat.”

“I don’t have time for this,” she snaps and turns to walk away.

“Madeleine. Sit.” Leo says, his tone flat. She stops in her tracks. After a few moments, she sighs and moves to sit on the chair.

Leo grins. “Well, since we’re all here. Let’s get down to brass tacks. I’ve asked you all here because we have a bit of a conundrum. My charming brother here has been trying to get to the bottom of this tabloid scandal for the last month.”

“Why are we still talking about this shit? The divorce is final,” Madeleine huffs, rolling her eyes.

My blood boils. “Because ‘this shit’ damn near ruined my career. And I want answers!” I shout. Liam places his hand on my back rubbing it in slow, soothing circles. I take a deep breath. “I want to know who did this to me and why.”

She smirks. “What do you want me to do about it? I don’t care about your career. I care about my kids. Whoever leaked it put them in danger.”

Liam sits up, void of emotion. “You mean you?”

His accusation catches her off guard. “Wh-what? What are you talking about?”

He turns to his brother, both of them sharing an amused look. Madeleine’s eyes dart from Leo to Liam, then to me. “What are you guys getting at? You think I did this?”

“We know you did, sweetheart. And we have proof,” Liam says.

“Bullshit.”

Liam looks at Leo and nods his head. Leo pulls out his phone and taps a few buttons before placing it face-up on the coffee table The audio begins playing.

“So, what’s going on with you and my brother?”

“We’re divorced. What do you mean?”

“Are you getting back together?”

*laughter* “No. Not even a little. To be honest, I don’t know why I married him in the first place.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear that. What about your new guy?”

“Rashad? Eh...he’s nice. But ohmygods, he’s so boring.”

“Boring? How so?”

“All he ever talks about is his stupid firm. If I have to hear one more time about international contacts and the Portera Group, I’m going to pull my hair out strand by strand.”

*laughter* “Well, what’s going on with the nanny situation? I trust Belinda is working out well.”

“Better than I could have imagined. At least I don’t have to worry about the kids when they’re in her care.”

“C’mon, Maddy. What was wrong with Riley?”

*laughter* “Where do I even start? I should have never hired someone right out of college. All these young girls see is a paycheck. They don’t give a shit about the kids.”

“That’s odd. I never got that from Riley. She seemed to really like the kids.”

“That’s what she wanted you to see. How many times did she put my kids in jeopardy with the fucking paparazzi? And those stupid ass tabloids. My kids don’t need to see lies about their parents in some trash rag. Charlotte told me she looked through one of them and saw a picture of herself. Then she started asking me questions. They’re only six and four, but they’re not stupid. That’s why I had to get rid of her.”

“Get rid of her?”

“Yes. I had Mara leak the divorce story to the tabloids and blame Riley.”

“Wow. Why couldn’t you just have fired her?”

“Liam would never go for that. He’s so pussy whipped. That was always his problem. He only saw her as a piece of ass.”

*laughter* “You know my brother never could resist a pretty face. That’s why he ended up with you.”

“And I ended up with the wrong brother. You know it’s always been you. I just wish you wouldn’t have waited so long to see it.”

“Madeleine. I didn’t want to interfere with what you and my brother had.”

“Leo. Don’t give me that. I was never in love with Liam. I thought you knew that. How many times did I call you when I was married to him? If you would have said the word, I would have left him for you just like that.” *fingers snapping*

“What about the kids?”

*laughter* “That’s what family court is for. Do you actually think the judge would let him take them? I can play the neglected wife quite well. The only reason he agreed to joint is because I manipulated him into playing the ‘perfect marriage’ card. You should have seen the look on Riley’s face. After the tabloid story leaked, all our friends thought he cheated on me with the nanny. The whole thing played out just like I planned it.”

“Wow. You are one diabolical woman, Maddy.”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

The audio ends and everyone sits stunned. Except for Leo. He just leans back — a smirk on his face — examining his nails. Liam’s face is beet red and he takes several deep breaths, trying to control his rage. Madeleine’s mouth hangs open in disbelief, all the color drained from her face. I sit back, trying to swallow the baseball-sized lump in my throat. Finally, Leo breaks the silence.

“So, what do you have to say for yourself, Maddy?”

Her face twists up in anger. “You set me up, you asshole.”

I leap from my seat. “You set me up! You hateful bitch!” Liam grabs my arm, trying to pull me back down. Thank gods his grip is strong because I’m two seconds away from leaping over this coffee table and tearing her face off.

“You broke up my family, you skank.”

Liam’s voice booms. “Don't pin this on her. You broke up our family when you slept with another man.”

“You could have made this easier on yourself if you would have just agreed to my deal, Liam. We could have had the perfect family front and you’d still get to keep your whore.”

“Fuck you, Madeleine,” I spit out.

“Okay, okay. As fun as this is to watch. It’s getting a little too heated for my taste,” Leo says, standing up to step between us. “We all know Maddy here is a hateful shrew. But what do you want from her, Liam?”

“Sole custody. Or I take this to the judge.”

“You wouldn’t,” she snaps.

“Watch me.”

She stares him down with a look of absolute hate. Her eyes dart to me, then to Leo. After several long seconds, her head drops back and she rolls her eyes. “Fine. You can have sole.”

Liam nods. “I’ll have my lawyers draw up the new paperwork. Now, get the fuck out of my house.”

She scoffs then gathers up her things and stomps out. Leo turns back to us, a huge smirk on his face. “This was fun. Let’s do it again sometime.” He leans over and claps his brother on the shoulder, then winks at me and heads toward the elevator.

Once we’re alone, Liam turns to me and frames my face in his hands. “I’m so, so sorry, Riley. I had no idea.” I place my hands on his chest and nod, trying not to cry.

“I never realized she hated me that much. All I cared about was being Philip and Charlotte’s nanny. I didn’t take this job because I thought you were hot. I took it because I love kids and I felt this was a good fit. Falling in love with you was just a bonus.”

He grips my chin in his thumb and forefinger, tipping my face up towards his. “You’re in love with me?”

“Of course, I am.”

He smiles and leans down to claim my mouth with his. The kiss is soft at first but quickly grows rough and passionate. He lets out a low moan and I take that as an opportunity to slide my hand beneath the waistband of his pants.

“Fuck, Riley,” he growls.

I grab his hand and walk him up the stairs to his bedroom. Once we’re there, I push up his shirt and plant featherlight kisses across his chest. He grasps my face in his hands, pulling it to his and kissing me hard. The kisses become hotter, teeth tugging lips, and hands roaming every inch of each other’s bodies. We shed our clothes and I climb onto his four-poster bed.

“You know. I saw this bed on my first day here, and I almost jumped on it to test it out. Good thing I didn’t, huh?”

“If I came here and saw a beautiful woman like you in my bed, I’d have thought I’d died and gone to heaven,” he smirks.

I wrap my hands around his neck and pull his body on top of mine, his weight pinning me down on the soft mattress. His stiff cock finds my pussy, nudging at my opening. I grip his length in my hand and stroke it up and down my clit. He trails kissed down my neck, across my collarbone, and to my breasts. He takes one of the pink buds in his mouth and begins to suck. The sensation shoots to my core. He moves to the other one, giving it a gentle nibble. Pretty sure I’m dripping wet right now.

He continues kissing his way down my body, his tongue drawing a line down my naval until he reaches the apex of my thighs. His hot breath sends a shiver through my body. His tongue flicks my clit and I nearly come on his face at that moment. Another stroke of his tongue against my folds elicits a moan from me. Before long, I’m writhing against his face, my orgasm slamming into me. I lay on the bed, struggling to catch my breath as he looks up at me, his face shiny from my arousal. He kisses his way up my body and captures my lips.

“Condom?” I ask. He nods and reaches into the nightstand to retrieve one from the drawer. He tears it open and rolls it over his cock. I lean up and capture his lips in a sweet kiss, then he thrusts into me. I wrap my legs around his hips, pulling him close.

“Riley…” he grunts.

“I’m right here, Liam.” He presses his forehead against mine and grips my ass, his hips pistoning as he drives his cock into my pussy. I feel another orgasm tear through me with blistering heat. I look up at him and see his eyes close as his orgasm follows shortly after. He collapses on top of me, breathing heavily and dotting my neck and face with kisses.

“Wow…Holy shit, Riley.”

Yep, pretty much how I feel right now. Who knew that it could feel this good after a month. I run my hands through his hair, caressing the soft strands. He sucks in a deep breath, then rolls off of me, and pulls me into his chest. He plants a soft kiss on my shoulder.

“Can I tell you something?”

I turn back to look at him. “Sure.”

“Earlier. When you said you were in love with me. Did you mean it?”

I nod.

He smiles and presses a kiss to my forehead. “Good. Because I’m in love with you, too.”

[thetaxcollector2020veronlin-blog]

Cuevana The Tax Collector 2020 Pelicula Completa Latino HD

HAGA CLICK AQUI : https://bit.ly/33Lw9UB

HAGA CLICK AQUI : https://bit.ly/33Lw9UB

HAGA CLICK AQUI : https://bit.ly/33Lw9UB

HAGA CLICK AQUI : https://bit.ly/33Lw9UB

Production companies: Fast Horse Pictures, Kodiak Pictures, Cedar Park Entertainment Distributor: RLJE Films (select theaters, VOD, digital) Cast: Bobby Soto, Cinthya Carmona, George Lopez, Shia LaBeouf, Elpidia Carrillo, Lana Parrilla, David Castañeda, Conejo, Cheyenne Rae Hernandez, Cle Sloan, Noemi Gonzalez, Juan Carlos Cantu, Chelsea Rendon, Rene Moran Director-screenwriter: David Ayer Producers: Chris Long, David Ayer, Tyler Thompson, Matt Antoun Executive producers: Douglas Duncan, Buddy Patrick, Steve Matzkin, Misook Doolittle, Sarah Schroeder-Matzkin, Mickey Gooch, Jr., Doug McKay, Cindy Bond, Todd Williams Director of photography: Salvatore Totino Production designer: Andrew Menzies Costume designer: Kelli Jones Music: Michael Yezerski Editor: Geoffrey O'Brien Casting: Mary Vernieu, Lindsay Graham-Ahanonu

SINOPSIS No se sabe nada acerca del argumento de esta cinta de acción y crímen que, aparentemente, seguirá la línea de dos de los trabajos anteriores de David Ayer: Training Day y Sin Tregua (End of Watch).

La cinta está dirigida, pues, por David Ayer (Escuadrón Suicida, Bright) y protagonizada por Shia LaBeouf (Honey Boy, The Peanut Butter Falcon), Bobby Soto (For the People, S.W.A.T. Los hombres de Harrelson), Chelsea Randon (Nueve vidas, Urgencias), Cinthya Carmona (The Fix, Greenhouse Academy) y Lana Parrilla (Érase una vez, Chase).

'The Tax Collector': Film Review Violent Los Angeles street culture on both sides of the law has been an abiding fascination in David Ayer's output, notably in his bruising screenplay for Training Day and his nervy, documentary-style cop drama, End of Watch. The buddy dynamic and gritty milieu of that 2012 film invigorate the best elements of The Tax Collector, the writer-director's return to a smaller-scale project after taking a critical hammering with the big-budget, high-concept outings of Suicide Squad and Netflix's Bright. "So why another L.A. crime movie?" asks Ayer in his Director's Statement. Why, indeed.

Despite a lot of admirable aims, such as creating layered roles for the Latino acting community and spending production dollars in areas that could benefit from the economic boost, this grim bloodbath feels too routine to be of much interest.

The well-acted film is shot by Salvatore Totino with impressive dexterity, capturing the urban sprawl of L.A. with a sharp eye and deft ability to build textured atmosphere, and Geoffrey O'Brien's editing shows an equally propulsive hand. But almost everything about this mean-streets action thriller feels familiar and a touch self-important, starting with its heralding of the sacred code blasted over a portrait of protagonist David (Bobby Soto) with his beautiful wife and angelic kids: "Love. Honor. Loyalty. Family."

The vaunted authenticity legitimized by Ayer's upbringing in South L.A. in the 1970s and '80s in this case doesn't mean he has a fresh perspective. The conflict of a loyal lieutenant in a criminal organization who compartmentalizes his life into hard-core career thug on one side, devoted paterfamilias on the other — "God allows me to walk from the darkness and come back into the light," says David — by now seems a standard gangster trope. As soon as that's established, we know exactly where he's going to feel the pain.

While Soto (Narcos: Mexico) makes a reasonably charismatic lead, the more magnetic character is his sidekick, a twitchy killing machine known as Creeper (Shia LaBeouf, reuniting with Ayer after Fury). Encased in figure-hugging skinny suits, Mafia-grade sunglasses and just the right amount of bling, LaBeouf goes full Method with his flavorful dialogue and wired physicality, whether Creeper is extolling the virtues of his smelly protein diet, musing on the value of morning meditation and the meaninglessness of God in his universe or simply itching to stop talking and spill some blood. The actor builds a fully formed character that suggests an intriguing backstory, giving off sparks in his every scene.

Regrettably, that's not so much the case with the more generically drawn David and his wife Alexis (Cinthya Carmona), who is perceived as being safely outside the family's criminal operations but has enough of a stake in the business to know what's what. She certainly has no qualms about calling on David to put the fear of death into the "Mexican Kardashians" holding up work on their daughter's quinceañera dress, and she oversees the weekly tally of protection money collected by David and Creeper from 43 different L.A. street gangs.

Alexis is also the point person who communicates directly with Wizard, the overlord of the crime organization whose current situation (along with the unbilled famous name playing the role) is revealed in the film's closing scene.

'Tax Collector' Trailer Reteams Shia LaBeouf and David Ayer David's connection to Wizard becomes apparent only gradually, once an old rival of the crime boss returns from Mexico intent on reshaping the street-gang landscape according to his own rules. That hostile interloper, Conejo (borrowing the rapper name of Jose Martin, who plays the role with maximum menace), takes pleasure in reminding David how he's still a glorified errand boy instead of a fully-fledged made man.

Conejo first extends a hand offering David an executive role in his burgeoning empire. When that offer is declined, Conejo sends a brutal message via David's drug dealer Uncle Louis (comedian George Lopez, bringing understated snarl to a dramatic role). "I'm the future and you're the past," Conejo warns David, later adding, "Everything you love is gonna die."

While David prays to Jesus to keep his family and their palatial Spanish-style home safe, Conejo's religious rituals make Santeria look like Sunday school. The movie veers into grotesquerie as he prays at an unholy altar for protection in the oncoming turf war, bathing in the blood of a human sacrifice in a room that looks like Keith Haring threw a Dia de los Muertos party.

This might have been lurid fun from a director who didn't take it all so seriously, even if it's in questionable taste at a time when the White House administration has done everything in its power to demonize Latin American immigrants. There's little leeway for dark humor in Ayer's world, though I did get a kick out of Conejo's lady friend Gata (Cheyenne Rae Hernandez). Licking her lips lasciviously, the aptly named feline fiend can lob explosives and rain bullets from a semi-automatic all while skipping about on vertiginous heels. And you don't even want to know about her skills with a hammer. But Gata is a figure out of a Robert Rodriguez grindhouse world stuck in a fundamentally realist realm.

The inevitable faceoff between Conejo's goons and Wizard's is plenty bloody, intercut with Conejo's Satanic prayers. But the sequence feels almost perfunctory, yielding few surprises for a director with the sinewy action command Ayer has shown in the past. Pretty much everything that follows becomes both predictable and a little too easy as David musters all his force to protect what's most precious to him, calling on help from the leader of a Bloods gang (Cle Sloan) in his showdown with Conejo.

Earlier scenes have sketched in David's strategic ability to accrue loyalty as well as the humanity he shows when one gang rep's payment shortfall is explained by the medical expenses of his chronically ill daughter. But Ayer seems to be laboring under the misapprehension that the family-oriented gangster is something new in movies, along with the conflicted cycle of intergenerational violence. When blood-drenched David starts spouting hackneyed dialogue like "For my family, I live. For my family, I die. For my family, I kill," it's hard to stifle a groan. And the incorporation of the Zen aspects of Jiu Jitsu into his climactic fight is too flimsy to add anything.

Ayer drives the action along efficiently enough to the churning dread of Michael Yezerski's score. But there's too little depth to make you care about the characters and too little imagination at work to make The Tax Collector pay.

Production companies: Fast Horse Pictures, Kodiak Pictures, Cedar Park Entertainment Distributor: RLJE Films (select theaters, VOD, digital) Cast: Bobby Soto, Cinthya Carmona, George Lopez, Shia LaBeouf, Elpidia Carrillo, Lana Parrilla, David Castañeda, Conejo, Cheyenne Rae Hernandez, Cle Sloan, Noemi Gonzalez, Juan Carlos Cantu, Chelsea Rendon, Rene Moran Director-screenwriter: David Ayer Producers: Chris Long, David Ayer, Tyler Thompson, Matt Antoun Executive producers: Douglas Duncan, Buddy Patrick, Steve Matzkin, Misook Doolittle, Sarah Schroeder-Matzkin, Mickey Gooch, Jr., Doug McKay, Cindy Bond, Todd Williams Director of photography: Salvatore Totino Production designer: Andrew Menzies Costume designer: Kelli Jones Music: Michael Yezerski Editor: Geoffrey O'Brien Casting: Mary Vernieu, Lindsay Graham-Ahanonu

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[staytheb]

Errands

Pairing: SF9′s Youngbin x OC [Seul] Genre: slice of life, slight fluff Word Count: 4,925 Summary: Seul runs errands believing she’ll get a job, but finds out that she’s doing them for her friend that was supposed to do them. Still though, a job may still be in the talks after she finishes the errands earlier than expected. part two: Acting Secretary (somewhat)

Warning: none, swear words lol

so... this is new, but not really. i had wrote this with another idol in mind like a year or so back. i changed it with Youngbin instead and gave my sister what she wanted. lol anyways, this was supposed to be like an idea for a chapter fic, but i don’t have any interest in doing that and why this story is the way that it is. i may or may not actually make a chapter story, but shall see in the future. i just didn’t want this written thing to be left hidden and forgotten. other than that, happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~

After dropping Yeon at her new work place, Seul dropped off her three year old daughter, Jangmi, with her usual babysitter, Yuna. Yuna was also a good friend of the sisters as well as a fellow mother. Seul could always depend on her for help, especially on such short notice.

"Thanks for watching Jangmi, Yuna." Seul thanked the older woman.

"No problem, Seul. Besides, the boys just love Jangmi like their own sister." Yuna commented as she watched her oldest son leading Jangmi in a random game.

"Yeah, Wonjin’s a great older brother and Jangmi just loves baby Jiho, too."

"Oh, I know. She loves cooing at him. Anyways, how's the job hunting going?"

"Um, okay? Just a bit rough."

"It's because of Seokwon, huh?"

Seokwon was Seul's ex-boyfriend and the father of her daughter. The separation was a bit messy and quite complicated, but Seul eventually pulled through. It was Seokwon who was having a fit about it and obstructing her life. He would contact other companies to prevent Seul from working with them when he found out she was working under whatever company she would have applied to. It was so that she would be force to return to work for him again and Seul wasn't having any of that. She would never let that man control her life and happiness ever again. Even if it meant having to constantly look for employment every few weeks or months.

"If I was still working I would have gotten you through and or pull some strings. I mean I could still ask Kyungtae if you wanna work for his company?"

"Nah, it's all good. Besides, I don't think I could ever work for Kyungtae with how he manages."

"I know. I don't blame you."

"Yeah, but luckily, Yeon is doing well and she hasn't messaged me yet."

"Yeah, I never pictured her as an office lady."

"Me either and neither did she."

Seul let out a sigh remembering what she had told herself to do today.

"Alright, Yuna, I gotta go, but do let me know about Jangmi if she gets too much."

Yuna cast her an understanding smile while patting her back.

"No worries, Seul. Get yourself a job first and just leave Jangmi to me in the mean time."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, hon."

~~~~~~~~~

Seul had gotten back on the road when her phone rang. It wasn't her sister or friend, but another friend who was a male. She answered through the bluetooth.

"Aren't you supposed to be working, Dawon?" Seul asked the caller as the male chuckled. "I am, Seul."

"Uh huh. Right."

"Yeah, yeah, but back to the subject of working, that's why I'm calling you."

"What do you want? I'm out driving looking for job openings that isn't related to my ex."

"I've heard and know that it's been impossible since he has such huge connections."

"Unfortunately."

"Anyways, that's why I have a proposition for you which for now involves you driving, but not looking further for a job."

"You couldn't just say that you know of an opening for me to apply for?"

"That's no fun. Anyways, the first thing I need you to do is go to Banana Boutique and the rest I'll send you in a text in a minute."

"Okay. That's it? Does this job pay well because I really do need the money as soon as possible."

"It does, but you'll get a fat bonus if you can complete everything on the list I've sent you."

"How much of a bonus are we talking about here?"

"Three times than I would make in a two weeks."

"Dang. That's more than what I would make if I worked with Seokwon again."

"Yeah, but it's better because you won't have to work with Seokwon again."

"Shoot. I'm in, but why so much?"

"Boss' orders and he won't tell me."

"Okay then. I'm down"

"There is a catch."

"Which is?"

"You'll need to be back before twelve-forty-five though for anything to count to get the job."

Seul glanced at the time on her dashboard and rolled her eyes.

"Which is like less than four hours. That's a lot of time."

"It may seem like so, but it's not."

"Then is it even worth it?"

"I know you can do it! Seul, I swear. It's worth it."

"Yeah, yeah, fine. See you soon, Dawon."

"See you soon and good luck!"

"Thanks and bye."

Seul ended the call with a chuckle as she signaled left to head on over to Banana Boutique. While waiting at the light she received Dawon's detailed message and was confused by the name, Youngbin Kim, and the credit card information that appeared in the beginning of the text. She learned that it would be the person she would be running errands for and his account information to make all of the purchases through before scrolling down to see a weird to-do list.

"Go to Banana Boutique. Buy a business casual outfit along with heels and accessories." Seul read aloud with a raised eyebrow. "Afterwards go to Tangerine Beauty Salon. Get hair and makeup done."

Seul scoffed at the list and wondered if this was even work related, but she trusted Dawon on this despite his playful personality. So she was gonna go with it for now as she really did need the money and that Yeon couldn't be the only one working. Seul scanned the rest of the long list and realized that it was all over the place. If she went based on how it was written then it would have her be driving all across town and even backtracking which would make her waste more time and gas. Quickly, Seul scanned her surrounding to pull off to the side and park for a while.

~~~~~~~~~

After finding a parking spot to rest for a bit, Seul copied the list that Dawon had sent her and put it into her notes. While re-reading everything she rearranged the list so that it would have a better flow for her to complete everything on it without wasting time or backtracking and to even get that triple bonus easily. It also meant that she wouldn't go to Banana Boutique or Tangerine Beauty Salon until nearly the end of the to-do list. To which she didn't mind at all as it would make her look fresh and put together. She finished the new to-do list within ten minutes while getting back on the road again.

The first place that Seul had gone to after the new arrangement was to a dry cleaners where she only had to wait for two minutes. Then she went next door to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription that was already ready for pick-up. After that Seul drove down a few streets to the home improvement store to pick up some paint and home decor that this Mr. Kim wanted. Seul also realized after finishing three errands off the list of twenty-something she had no trouble in stating his card information without the actual plastic card being present in front of these businesses. She wondered how often this guy came that it went this easy.

Seul dismissed the idea and continued to the next item on the list. She drove for awhile before she found the place she was looking for. It was a toy store and besides purchasing the several items that this Young person wanted, she had also purchased three stuffed animals for her daughter and sister. As for Youngbin's belongings several of them she could pick up and take with her like some of the sports balls and smaller items while the rest of the things were to be shipped out as they were either too big to fit in her vehicle or weren't in stock at the store itself.

~~~~~~~~~

Seul let out a tired sigh upon placing the two small bags from a jeweler's shop she had just visited inside her car. She was happy that she had a vehicle to accommodate all the things she was stashing into her car for this supposed job. If not, she would have declined Dawon's proposition for it. She just wondered what kind of person this Youngbin Kim was as she couldn't help but imagined the guy upon doing his errands. He either seemed too lazy to pick up his stuff or the fact that he was super busy and had no time for minor inconveniences.

Then again, someone that purchased toys couldn't be all that bad either. Maybe he had a child and a wife, but work was constantly demanding that it didn't leave him time to do such small errands. Or he could just be showering his loved ones with material things to make up for his lack of presence. Who knows what it could be as it could seriously be anything. It really gave her some insight, but then again she knew that she couldn't just based everything off of some list. Seul usually knew the person a bit better once she actually met them, but for now she would just let it be.

Anyways, Seul started her car and drove to the nearest grocery store so she can buy this Youngbin person some groceries before having to go to another location and buy some house cleaning supplies as well for his home. After this errand she would have two more stops to complete and she would be good on time and closer to a job. The second to last stop would be taking a majority of all the items to this apartment complex before heading to Dawon's work place with the other things on the list to be given to his boss. Of course before heading to the work place she would have to stop by some restaurant to pick up the boss' lunch.

Still, Seul was seriously confused as this seem more like a personal errand run that the person himself could do it, but she was doing it instead for a job opening. Nevertheless, Seul reminded herself that it was for the bonus and that she badly needed the job as soon as possible. Then again, she was wondering if others were doing this just as she was and it would be pointless since it meant that this Youngbin Kim person was getting things done more than once and spending a lot more than needed. Seul shook the thoughts away as it didn't matter to her since it wasn't her money or items that she'll be dealing with.

Anyways, once she got done grocery shopping she headed towards Water Apartments which to be honest was a high-end luxury apartment complex building that she for sure wouldn't be able to afford in her entire life. Even less of knowing someone personally who actually lived here. Anyhow, just like using this guy's name and his information to do the errands, Seul was instantly assisted in having the items transported easily to the guy's apartment by a few of the staff members after she informed them where she had to take them.

Seul herself took care of putting away the groceries and cleaning supplies. Upon seeing the apartment, Seul knew for sure that this Youngbin Kim guy was indeed a bachelor and had no significant other whatsoever. She wondered if Dawon's boss even lived here as there was practically no food in the fridge or the cabinets. Neither were there any picture frames or personal touches to the overall place when she had put away the bagged clothing and the prescription when she entered the main bedroom to lay them on the bed. It seemed like it was in a presentation mode to be shown to potential buyers for the place. Then again, Seul assumed the guy must be a minimalist or could have just recently moved in hence the to-do list and a family must be on the way to add those touches.

Shaking the thoughts away and getting back to focus, Seul resumed putting the things away. Once everything was settled, Seul took photos of the places where the items were now settled as it was required of her to do so since it proved that she actually completed the errands and sent the images to Dawon. Seul returned to her car and went to the post office to drop off some of the packages she had done earlier before heading back towards Dawon's workplace to finish out the rest of the list. She felt proud as she had shaved off basically an hour. Everything felt like it would be smooth sailing from here on out.

~~~~~~~~~

After quickly purchasing a basic yet cute outfit from Banana Boutique with minimal accessories to complement and visiting Tangerine Beauty Salon to style the way she preferred to look, Seul arrived at Hot Potato to pick up Youngbin's meal along with her own with less than an hour to spare. Luckily she had called in earlier to make an order so that when she arrived she just had to do a pick up. So when she entered the restaurant she was checked out by her cousin upon walking up to the counter for pick-ups.

"Oh ho ho. You're looking good." Kwangjin complimented. "A hot date? A new candidate father figure for Jangmi?"

Seul rolled her eyes.

"No, Kwangjin. It's for a job. Anyways, I have a group pick-up order."

"Oh, so it was for you."

"Mmhmm."

"Okay. I'll be right back."

Kwangjin momentarily left to fetch Seul's order before returning shortly with four bags in hand along with three drinks.

"So who's the other order for if not you or Yeon?" Kwangjin asked while setting the items on the counter.

"My future boss. I'm picking up something for his lunch today, too."

Seul held her phone out for Kwangjin to read.

"Anyways, the buldak with both the rice cake and steamed egg is for my future boss. The rest is mine which I'll pay separately."

Kwangjin was inputting Young's card info before recognizing it soon afterwards.

"Your future boss is Youngbin Kim?"

"Possibly. Why?"

"Oh, well, he's a friend of mine. I could put in a good word for you like I did for Yeon."

"Yeah you should've done that in the first place like you did with Yeon."

Kwangin chuckled as he recalled that situation.

"I'm pretty sure she still wishes to be working here though."

"True, but she can't stand working with you though."

"Not my fault I'm here everyday."

"True, but you keep messing with her schedules and that's why she didn't want to work here again."

"Haha, yeah, that's right. Anyways, Youngbin didn't have any job offerings so that's why I didn't say anything. Also you don't want to work here either."

"Oh okay, and yeah true about working here. Although it isn't bad or anything."

"Because you just don't want me as your boss and me messing up your schedule."

"That too, but are you done inputting the info yet?"

"I am, but why not make him pay for it all?"

"Because I'm not like that."

"Yeah, I know, but here."

Kwangjin handed his cousin the receipt for Youngbin's meal and rejected Seul's card.

"Yours is on the house."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

Kwangjin cast her a smug look while handing the bags over to her along with the three drinks he knew were her and Yeon's favorite.

"I didn't order any drinks." Seul declared with a confused expression.

"I know. It's on me, too. Enjoy and good luck in getting the job."

"Thanks and you better not be calling him to get me in without my own merit."

"I would never do that."

"Mmhmm. Bye."

"Later."

Seul took her things and waved him off while taking a sip of her Green Tea Latte of the three drinks that her cousin gave her.

~~~~~~~~~

When Seul arrived to Dawon's workplace, her eyebrows furrowed upon recognizing the streets and the buildings before heading towards the underground parking lot she had dropped off her sister earlier today.

"Does Dawon work here, too?" She mumbled as she found a parking space not that far from the elevators. "Maybe I could give Yeon her meal while I'm at it."

She had messaged Dawon earlier that she was almost done, but didn't let him know she was here while making sure her appearance was presentable. She did send her sister a message about having her lunch and to let her know where to meet up. As for Dawon he had already messaged her about what to do at the front desk and where to go from there so she figured she could surprise him. Seul got out of her car and opened the truck of the vehicle. She pulled out her blue collapsible wagon and unfolded it for usage while setting it on the concrete floor. This was a nifty item when going to places with Jangmi.

Seul placed the food and the items that Youngbin had wanted inside the wagon. Like the documents he had left at his apartment along with two succulents of nine he wanted to be at the office for some reason. As well as some other things like books, caps, and a Janggi set. She even placed her drinks in the pockets on the outside of the compartment before shutting and locking up her car. Seul placed her other bag over her shoulders while heading to the elevator.

Seul arrived on the seventh floor of the B building after checking in with a Park Haeyoon at the receptionist desk and obtaining her visitor's pass. She arrived on the floor and pulled her little wagon behind her in search of Dawon as he didn't appear like he said he would. She was given curious looks by the workers on the floor and knew it was because of the wagon, but no one questioned her about it. Seul was gonna ask one of the staff if they knew where Dawon was, but came upon a familiar face instead.

"Inseong?"

Inseong met Seul's gaze as it lit up with recognition.

"Seul! Wow, what are you doing here?"

He enveloped her into a friendly hugged before noticing her wagon. He gave her a knowing look once he pulled away.

"Did Dawon tell you there was a possible job opening and that you had to do all of these errands for our boss because he'll pay like triple the amount?"

"Um, yeah, how'd you know?"

"Because Dawon was supposed to be the one to do that. Not you."

"Excuse me?"

Inseong held back a laugh upon knowing how his friend was going to react while also taking a few steps back just in case Seul got violent.

"You're joking, right?" Seul asked with a not amused expression. "Because I didn't just waste my time to do his job for him for nothing, Inseong."

She then motioned at her whole attire.

"I also didn't spend money to get new clothes, my hair, and makeup done either."

"I know, Seul, I know, but..."

"Just lead me to his ass and don't worry, I won't cause a scene. I'm not like that."

Inseong chuckled at his friend's words before leading them both to Dawon's work desk.

~~~~~~~~~

"Don't worry, sir. Everything will be done before the allotted time." Dawon spoke into the phone when Seul and Inseong arrived in front of his desk.

Dawon's back was turned away from them and wasn't aware he had visitors. It wasn't until he turned around like he wasn't at work, but at home in mid-conversation that he took notice of his friends.

"Oh, hey." Dawon said in a slow manner as his eyes glance from Inseong to Seul and back and forth totally forgetting that he was supposed to be on the phone with his boss and discussing important matters.

"I'll leave it between the two of you." Inseong said with a playful tone while patting Seul's back in a fair warning to be calm as possible.

"So... uh, Seul," Dawon began nervously while unconsciously placing the phone on his desk and not back into its proper place, "How's your day going?"

"Pretty well until I learned the truth about you using me to do your boss' errands for you."

Her dark eyes bore into his as Dawon's averted his gaze to something behind her and looked down. He noticed the blue wagon and let out a nervous chuckle as he returned his gaze back on to his friend.

"Oh yeah?" Seul mused with a wry smile. "So this job opening you mentioned was just a lie for me to get it done for you so that you wouldn't get in trouble for not doing them?"

"What? No. It's totally real. Look at you. All dressed up thanks to Mr. Kim's credit card information. Now you can have an official interview with him."

"That's not what you told me on the phone when I agreed to this supposed errand run, Dawon."

"True, but I did tell you that it would be worth it."

"How? Your boss doesn't even know what you did or that I'm even here."

"True and I'm sure I could put in a good word for you."

"That's not how I roll, Dawon, and you know that."

"Okay true, and yes, Seul, I know but for now, most importantly, do you have his lunch?"

Dawon stood up from his seat and maneuvered around his desk to stand before his friend eagerly.

"I do," Seul answered with a weird smile that Dawon couldn't interpret, "But I'm not giving it to you."

"What? Why not?"

"Because your dumb ass used me when you could've done it yourself."

"Seul, you don't know how busy I was today to do any of the things he wanted me to do."

"Inseong told me that you had a whole two weeks to complete all of that minus the meal. You made me do all of that in less than four hours."

"I know, I know, but just let me off the hook this one time. I'll pay you back in a big way. Just wait and see."

"You do realize you've done this multiple times on multiple occasions, right? Not just with me, but with Yeon, too."

"Yes, bu-"

Seul didn't let him finish as she continued her rant.

"Besides, Kwangjin knows him, too. They're good friends. Now I feel like a fool because Kwangjin believes this was legit as I mentioned this errand thing in passing. Thanks to you I wasted my whole morning when I could've gotten something more important done with my time."

"I'm sorry, Seul. I really am."

"Your sorry isn't gonna do anything for me, Dawon. Besides, you're not the one that had to pick up and drop off all of his stuff at his apartment. I even had to figure out which of his succulents he wanted here in the office when he had so many. I'm not even his personal assistant, but I still did all of this without knowing him or even having this job now."

Before Dawn could counter her words he was interrupted by his boss who overheard the whole conversation on the phone and exited his office. Youngbin was curious about Dawon's female friend who happened to know Kwangjin as well. Even though Dawon was Youngbin's subordinate, he was also a good friend of his outside of working hours. Maybe a more dependable person to take care of things he nor his other subordinates couldn't have time for be given to this woman instead.

"If you're looking or a job, then how would you like to be my personal assistant?" Youngbin asked from behind Dawon as the duo's attention turned towards Youngbin whose attention was set on Seul more than Dawon.

"What do you say, Miss...?"

~~~~~~~~~

"Well then, Miss Lee, you're hire." Youngbin informs her after interviewing Seul.

Before the interview they all had their lunch and Seul sat with Dawon at his desk eating it since she found it awkward if she ate alone or at the worker's cafeteria. She did meet up with Yeon, but her sister had to return to work immediately as she had this business and sales report to write for her own boss already on the first day of work. Luckily, Dawon was able to inform her about his company, the department, and his colleagues, but still Seul wondered if it was all a joke or not. It turned out that it wasn't and the interview lasted less than an hour. Seul felt a little odd about it when Youngbin told her that she just got the job soon afterwards.

"Just like that? You didn't ask to see my resume or asked me about my past work history, Mr. Kim."

"Mmhmm. While I ate my lunch I reviewed Dawon's information he had given to me of you. Although it was quite limited, but it was enough to make the judgment. The skills and management you've demonstrated with what I've seen so far with what you've done with the to-do list that he gave you earlier this morning impresses me. I see that it will correlate well with the position of being my personal assistant."

Youngbin then sifted through the images on his iPad and pointed out the things that he was most curious about that he got from Dawon to send to him while they all had lunch so he could have a heads up on Seul's competence.

"I noticed that I have a receipt from Hot Potato for my lunch, but the price is way too low for what I saw you brought in when we ate lunch. I also noticed there isn't a receipt for Banana Boutique nor one for Tangerine Beauty Salon although these locations was more for your attire than for me. Is there a reason for those, too?"

Seul nodded with an expression indicating that it was obvious.

"Yeah. I used my own money at the boutique and salon since it was something I was picking out and that you shouldn't even be paying for these in the first place. As for Hot Potato, a close friend covered the cost."

"I see."

Youngbin closed down his tablet, set it aside, and looked at Seul with a calm demeanor.

"Since you'll be working for me, Miss Lee, any inconveniences befallen on you should be my responsibility as your boss from now on."

Youngbin partially turned to open a drawer to the right of him before finding what he was looking for. He scribbled some things onto the small pad before ripping a piece of it from its place and held it out for Seul to take.

"This is a reimbursement for the boutique and salon that you spent with your own money."

Seul declined with a polite smile.

"It's fine, Mr. Kim. You don't need to reimburse me for it."

Youngbin slightly frowned while retracting his hand and placed the pad and slip aside. He then went through one of his other drawer once again before finding what he was looking for. He faced the woman again and gently set a black card before her and slid it closer for her to take.

"Then this card will be for your own personal use among other things to do your job efficiently without any hindrance. There's no limit and I wouldn't have to write you a check for reimbursement each time you pay out of your own pocket."

Seul stared at the black card intrigued, but made no move to take it. She glanced back up at Youngbin who was already watching her as he motioned with his hand for her to take the card.

"Please, take it. It's yours while you're working for me."

Seul still regarded him a bit.

"And when I stop working for you in the future?"

"I can just cut that line out with ease."

"I see."

Youngbin leaned forward and pushed the card even closer for Seul to take. Seul continued to gaze at the small plastic item, but didn't take it once again. One side of Youngbin's lips quirked up amused before relaxing back in his chair while gazing at her calmly.

"The card can be used freely without a pin or inputting my information if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm not worried about your card, Mr. Kim. I just don't see why you would entrust me with your money so casually just like hiring me so easily."

Seul's cool demeanor raised the corners of Youngbin's lips higher before he responded back.

"Because you've proven yourself to be trustworthy and responsible, Miss Lee. That's why I've hired you as I have no problem with giving you that card to further build the trust and reliability I see in you thus far."

Seul kept quiet as she contemplated the whole thing in her head more before slowly nodding in agreement.

"Okay. Thank you."

"Good. So when's the earliest you can start, Miss Lee?"

Seul didn't hesitate to take the card this time around while matching his gaze.

"As soon as possible, Mr. Kim."

"Perfect. You'll officially start after the weekend on Monday as your first day on the job. Today we'll count it as an orientation and I'll have Dawon show you around the buildings so you can familiarize yourself of the surroundings. He'll also fill you in about everything else that I'll be unable to do."

Youngbin stood up with Seul following soon after as he led them out of his office.

"Welcome to Marketing of NEOZ Group, Miss Lee."

[lentils-writes]

Ocean Eyes

(So, this is a fic I wrote for my wife, because she is writing an AU where Valkyrie and Carol are Youtubers who do a dramatic reading of a self-insert fanfic they find about themselves. I wrote it as if I were 14 again and had an enormous crush on both Val and Carol, which was not terribly hard, except there are a lot more typos than I would have made. “My” OC is named Artimys and is loosely based on a real character I made up when I was 15. The plot is a homage to the story in this video. This is the most fun I’ve had writing anything in a long time, for real. Also, the jokes about Val blushing and crying constantly are on purpose yes.)

Chapter 1 - My Strange Addiction

Val waited at the door excitedly. Today was the day that her girlfriend Carol was moving in with her! They had been togehter for three years and loved each other very much. 

She heard a knock. “Hi Carol!” she said. Carol was stabding there with all of her stuff. “hi baby!” said Carol. “Im so excited so move in with you!”

“Come in” said val “We should get pizza to celebrate!”

The door opened to the apartnent next door and a girl stepped out. She had long brown hair that looked almost black that went past her butt and ceruleeen blue eyes that looked purple sometimes. She was wearing a black leather jacket and a red flannel shirt and combat boots. “Hi!” she said. “I’m your neighbor Artimys. If you need any help moving in let me know”

“Hi Artimys” said Val blushing. 

“Nice to meet you!” Carol said. Artimys waved and went away.

“Why did you blush when Artimys talked to you?” Carol asked. “Do you like her or something?”

Val felt bad. “Yes i do like her but I didnt want you to think i didn’t still love you! She is just so hot i can’t help it!” and she started crying.

Carol smiled. “Baby don’t be sad, I think she was hot too. and I know what we can do about that.......”

Chapter 2 - Everythig I Wanted

Val and Carol knocked on Artimys’ s door. “Hello” said Artymis “what do you want?”

“We want you to invite you over for dinner” said Carol. “We are making spaggetti. You should come because Val is cooking and she is a very good cook.”

“Okay!” So Artimys came over.

While they were eating Carol said “Artimys are you dating anyone right now?”

“No” said Artimyz “but I am a lesbian.”

“Great well Val is bisexual and I’m lesbian too and we were wondering if maybe you wanted to go out with us sometime?” Carol’s heart was beeting so fast she worries that Artimys will be mad and run away.

Artimys opened her eyes very wide. “Wow! But I thought you were daring each other?”

“We are but Val has a crush on you” Carol said while Val blushed and her cheeks turned bright red. “And I think you’re so pretty. Please go out with us?”

Artimys blushed too. “I will!” she said smiling. “I think you are both so petty too. can I kiss you?”

“Yes” said Val and Carol and they leaned in and kissed her. All three of them kissed and made out and then they did it six times in a row (because they are all girls and girls can do that). Then they all went to sleep happy and in love.

Chapter 3 - listen beofre I go

Val and Carol woke up and got out of bed before Artimys. “I will make pancakes” said Carol. 

“Thank you!” said Val giving her a kiss on the cherk. 

Val went back to the bedroom and waited for Artimys to wake up. “Good morning sleeping beauty” whispered Val kidding her lightly on the lips.

“Good morning!” hummed Artimys. “Where’s Carol?”

“She’s making us pancakes.”

“Oh I love pancakes!”

“Me too” nodded Val. And then she got on the bed and they made out until the pancakes were done.

“Hey!” Carol yelled when she found them making out. “Don’t leave me out! That’s rude!”

And then there was a knock at the door. “Who could that be” said Cal and Artimys went to the door to see who it was. There were two big tall guys standing there wearing black shirts and black pants and black masks like they were bank robbers. “Who are you” gasped Artimys but then they grabbed her and threw her over their shoulders and ran away, kidnapping her!!!!!

“HELP! Let me go! screamed Artimis. 

Val and Carol ran out to see what had happened and they ran downstairs after the men. They tried to run after the van but they couldn’t run fast enough because the van was going too fast. Val started crying. “What do we do???

Carol grabbed her phone and called 011. “Help!!!!” she shrieked. “Someone kidnapped our girlfriend!!!!!!!!”

While the police were coming to talk to Val and Carol Carol got a Youtube notification on her phone. It was a message and it said: IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOU GIRLFIEND AGAIN MAKE A VIDEO ABOUT HOW SORRY YOU ARE FOR BRAKING UP WITH HELA. 

The police asked them a lot of questions. “Do you know of any suspects?” they demanded.

Carol showed them the message on her phone. “Maybe it was Val’s ex-girlfriend Hela, she’s a real bitch and hates me ever since Val broke up with her and started dating me. She makes makeup videos but they aren’t that great.”

“Oh I know who she is” said the police. “But she’s a nice girl and she would never do something to bad as kidnap somebody. We’ll be in touch of we learn anything.” Then they drove off.

“Now what do we do?” Val asked tearfully.

Carol was thinking. “I have an idea..........”

Chapter 4 - bellyache

Carol got on the phone and called someone. “Hi Natasha” she said “are you busy?”

“I’m picking a lock but not really” replicated Natasha. “What’s up?”

“Our girlfriend got kidnap and we need help” begged Carol. “Can you hack into the security cameras and get a license plate?”

“Im already in” said Natasha triumphantly. “And I’m loooking up the license plate of the van.”

“Thank you” sighed Carol. “There were two guys in a white van and they wore masks so we couldn’t see what they looked like. We think Hela did it but the police didn’t believe is.

“That butch” said Natasha “ok I’m tracking the can now, it’s driving to the airport.”

Val went and got the car and Carol got in next to her and Natasha told them where to go to follow the van. “Oh no” gasped Natasha. “They’re getting on a plane!!!!!”

Carol and Val ran inside the airport but the plane had already took off. “NOOOOO!!!!!!” screamed Carol.

“Did you see two big men buying tickets?” Val asked the ticket desk desperately.

“I’m sorry but I can’t yell you that, it’s illegal”

“Please” whimpered Carol. “These men kidnapped our girlfriend and we love her and want her back. We need to know where they’re going!”

“Well in that case” said the employee typing on the keyboard. “Dont tell my boss ok? They bought three tickets to Porto Rico.”

“We need to go there!!!!!” shrieked Val.

So they boght two tickets to Porto Rico. “I am sending you the cordinates” said Natasha and they got a text on the phone that said the cordinates.

“Thank you” gasped Carol. “How can we ever repay you?”

“I just want you three to be together” said Natasha. “Good lick.”

While on the plain carol said “we should make a video.”

“What?” shrieked Val. “Im not apologixing to Hela!”

“No” soothed Carol. “A cideo for Artimys so that she knows we’re looking for her and we love her.”

“Oh” said Val. “Good idea.”

So Carol got out her camera. “Hey copilots todays video is gonna be a little different. Val and I are making this for our girlfriend Artimys. Artimys we don’t know where you are but we’re not giving up on you. Don’t worry, we’ll all come home soon. We love you and we’re not going to stop looking for you. You don’t have to stay with Hela anymore.”

Meanwhile in Porto Rico

Artimys woke up. She was inside a cave and it was cold and windy. “Where am I” she asked.

“Hello” said a mean sexy voice and it was........HELLA!!!

Chapter 5 - Hostage

Artimys hasped. “Hela!!!!”

“That’s me” said Hala. “Hello Artumys.”

“Where are we?” demanded Artimys “where are Carol and Cal?” 

“That doesn’t matter.” Scoffed Hela. “Your going to be MY girlfriend now.”

“No I’m not!” yelled Artimys. “Val and Crol love me! They will come save me!!!”

“Oh really” laufhed Heka. “Then why did they post this?” And she pulled put her phone and opened a video.

Carol and Val were in the video and said “Artimys we’re giving up on you. Don’t come home. We’re going to stop looking for you. We don’t love you anymore.”

Artimys started crying. “Why don’t they love me anymore????”

“Who knows” shurgged Hela and she put her arms around Artimys confritingly. “But I love you.”

Artumys was still crying and Hela said “let me get you some tea that will make you feel better.” She gave Artimys the tea and Artimys drunk it.......but she didn’t know that the tea had a love potion in it!!!!! 

After Artimys drink the tea she stopped crying and said “Hela I love you so much! Why did I ever care about Val and Carkl. You are the only woman for me!”

“Of curse baby!” said Hela. And she out her arms around Artimys and they kissed. 

“Now that you are my girlfriend I think we should take some sexy pictures” said Hela. “That way I will be able to see how sexy and gorgous you are even when we are apart.”

Artimys blushed. “I’ve never taken pictures like THAT before Hela.”

“Don’t worry” Hela whispered “their jyst for me and don’t you love me?”

“I do” said Artimys and started to take off her clothes. 

“Good” said Hela. “And after I take these pictures then we can do it.”

Chapter 6 - When the Partys Over

The plane landed in porto rico and Val and Carol got off it and called Natasha. “Have you seen the pictures” asked Natasha.

“What pictures?”

Natasha texted them a link and they opened it. They were baked pictures of Artimys!!! In some of the pictures she was wearing underwear but in a lot of them she was wearing noting and doing sexy poses for the camera. “Oh no!!!!!” gasped Val starting to cry.

“What happened???” Carol womdered. “Did Hela take these??”

“I dont know but im texting you the address where she is” said Natasha.

They got a taxi to take them to the addresss Natasha  sent them. It wasn’t a very long drive but Carol spent the entire drive mad. “How dare she take these pictures!!” she shouted.

“Hela always wanted me to rake naked pictures but I said no” sighed Val. “I thought she might put them online if she got mad at me.”

“That’s why I would never take naked pics” said Carol wisely. 

They got to the address and got out of the cab. It was a cave! “Let’s go get Artimys back!!!” shouted Carol. They didn’t have any weapons but they had a lot of big mussels so it was okay.

“HEELA!!!!!!” roared Carol busting into the cave. “Give is our girlfriend back you bitch!!!!!!”

Hela and Artimys were naked and cuddling together in front of the fireplace. “Hello” purred Hela “she’s not you’re girlfriend anymore she’s MINE now!”

“Artimys!” shrieked Val. “We’re here to rescue you!!!!”

“Go away” screamed Artimys. “You said you didn’t love me anymore! Hela lives me and I love her! I never want to see you again as long as I life!!!!!!”

Hela cackled evily. “You’re too late! She loves me now and she’ll never love you again!”

Carol flew over and punched Hela in the face hard. “Shut up bitch!!!!!!!!” she growled. Hela got up and stated fighting with her.

Meanwhile Val went to Artimys. “We never said we didn’t love you!” she said pulling out her phone and going to the video they made. “Watch this”

Artimys watched the video and glared her eyes. “Hela showed me a video where you said you didn’t love me anymore”

“No baby” Val said on the verg of tears “we’ll always love you.”

Meanwhile Carol and Hela were fighting. Hela was getting punched hard. “Stay away from us!!!!!!” screamed Carol giving her another black eye. Hela layed on the ground groaning in pain.

“Carol don’t kill her” Val said “I have called the police to come and take her away.”

“Fine” muttered Carol punching her in the nose one more time.

“How do I know your not lying” asked Artimys.

“Because we love you” Val said kissing her. And because it was true loves kiss it broke the love spell and Artimys remembered that she was in love with Bal and Carol and not Hela.

Artimys starter crying. “I’m sorry” she said “I let Hela take sexy pictures of me because I thought I was in love with her.”

“Its ok” said Carol coming over to kiss her too. “I think Hela put a love spell on you to make you fall in love with her. That’s not your fault.”

“She WHAT” hissed Val. 

“Dont worry I found it and got rid of the rest” said Carol. “She won’t be doing that ever again.”

Chapter 7 - all the good girls go to hell

They got on the plane to go home. “What will we go about the pictures?” Artumys asked scaredly.

“Don’t worry” Carol said soothingly. “I have an idea.”

When they landed Carol called Natasha. “Hi Natasha can you erase pictures from the internet?”

“Of course Carol, I have already done that. Right after Jela put them up I took them down. I also deleted them off the servers of everyone who downloaded them and I sent the FBI after them too. Everyone who saw them is going to jail.”

“Wow thank you” said Carol. “Your a great friend.”

“Anytime” said Natasha “I’m just glad you’re all back together.”

“See?” Said Carol as she hung up. “Narasha took card of everything.”

“I shouldn’t have take the pictures,” cried Artimys. “It was so slutty of me. When Hela said it it sounded like a good idea but I dont know what I was thinking!!!”

“Sash” whispered Val petting her hair. “Don’t cry baby it will be okat.”

“But I acted like a slut!!!!!” sobbed Artimys. “Only sluts take sexy pictures of themselfs!!!!!”

“It wasn’t your fault” said Carol. “Hela’s love spell made you stupid. She told you to take sexy pictures and you did because you thought you were in love with her.”

“I’m sorry!” cried Artimys. “I’m a terrible girlfriend. You should break up with me. I don’t deserve either of you!!!!!!”

Carol and Val looked at each other and then nodded. “We have a different idea” said Carol kneeling down and pulling a box out. 

“What??” gasped Artimys wipping tears off her eyes.

“Val and I have been thinking and we think it’s time to take the next step, and we want you to do it with us. Artimys, we love you and we will always love you no matter what. Will you marry us?”

Artimys cries happy tears and jumped into their arms. “Yes I will!!!!” she shirked with happiness.

Chapter 8 - I love You

It was a beautiful day outside. Inside the Air and Space museum Val Carol and Artimys were getting ready for the wedding in different rooms. Thor and Bruce were helping Val, Tony and Rhodey were helping Carol, and Natasha and Steve were helping Artimys.

“Are you nervous?” Asked Thor as he braided Val’s hair.

Val laughed. “No i’m happy Thor! I get to marry the loves of my life today.”

Meanwhile Carol was pacing back and forth. “You dont think Hela will try to crash the wedding do you?” she asked Tiny and Rhodey.

“No” said Tony “I have set up dozens of security cameras and robots around the museum. If they see her they will fire.”

Rhodey Pat her arm reassiringly. “She is in jail for seventy years. No way she will show up at the wedding.”

Meanwhile Steve and Natasha were helping Artimys get into her dress. It was huge Luke a wedding cake topper and covered in pretty blue and purple flowers that matched her eyes. “You look beautiful” said Batasha. “Val and Carol are so lucky.”

Artimys blushed. “Really?”

“Yes” said Steve. “Your the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen including my girlfriend Peggy (Sorry Peggy).”

In the main hall everyone was dressed fancy and waiting for the wedding to start. Nebula pushed play on the music and the wedding march started. Okoye waited at the alter because she was a prest in Wakanda and it counts in America too. 

Val came down the isle first wearing a sexy white suit and crying. She was in Thor’s arm. She wipped her years away when she got to the alter.

Carol came next holding Tony’s arm. Tony didn’t even make a joke because he knew this was serious.

Finally Artimys walked down the isle with Steve. Everyone whispered about how beautiful they all looked together. “Dearly bellved” said Okoye. “We are gathered here to marry these three women to each other. If anyone thinks they should not be married, speak now or forever hold your piece.”

The room was quiet. “Good” said Okoye. “Val North, do you take these women to be your wives to love and honor as long as you live?”

“I do” said Val starting to cry again.

“Carol Danvers do you take these women as tour wives to love and cherish as long as you live?”

“I do.”

“And Artimys Jones do you take these women to love and hold as long as you live?”

“I do”

“I know pronouns you wives. You may kiss!”

The room erupted in cheers as the three of them kissed. “I love you” whispered Artimys to her wives.

“We love you too” they said back before kissing her again.

[watchingminecraftyansim]

Post 2 - The One Where The Intro is Mystery Science Theater 3000

In the not too distant future

Next Friday A.D.

There was a gal named Isabelle

Not too different from you or me

She moderated a discord server

Just another face in a red sweatshirt

She did a good job looking over the place

But her bosses didn’t like her so they shot her into spaaace

“We’ll send her a Minecraft Roleplay”

“One from her past” (la-la-la)

“She’ll have to sit and watch them all”

“It’ll surely be a blast” (la-la-la)

Now keep in mind Izzy can control when the episodes begin and end

Because we didn’t have the budget to make her robot friends

If you’re wondering how she eats and breaths

And other science facts (la-la-la)

Then repeat to yourself “it’s just a blog, 

I should really just relax…

For Watching Minecraft Yanderesim RP post twooooo~”

Hi, I’m Isabelle, but you knew that already, and we would do a proper Mystery Science Theater 3000 parody if I liked how my voice sounded, and I had proper recording software, but I don’t so let’s begin talking about episodes two and three of Samgladiator’s Minecraft Yandere Highschool. 

So to start off Episode 2 Sam wakes up to the Super Smash Brothers Melee theme blasting at full volume from the Gamecubecrab he and Taurtis bought last episode. Given the fact that we haven’t seen either Sam or Taurtis shower or use deodorant, they are both well on their way to becoming true Melee players. We also learn Taurtis has been up since last night trying to get the Gamecube to work, and he doesn’t even get to play it before going to school, which a true Melee player would shirk all responsibilities and drop out of school to become a professional smash bros player, so he gets docked some Epic Gamer points for that blunder. 

As Sam and Taurtis exit Sam opens their mailbox to reveal fanart they got, half of which is made by people who are actors in the series, but that’s not all too surprising as they likely used their fans as actors. This show was likely made on a budget of however much it cost to have the set built and fans will work for nothing but the opportunity to be in the same Minecraft server as the person they enjoy. I shouldn’t be talking though, I was ecstatic to get into one of RTGame’s Minecraft build days. Back on topic Taurtis and Sam head over to the convenience store and sam quickly rushes through his shopping because he doesn’t want the girls to see him and make fun of him, but he also finds cat meat, because the joke of Asian countries selling the meat of and eating domestic pets is a hilarious one, right fellas? Taurtis tries to buy the robot from the European versions of Tomodachi Life, which makes me happy, because I really enjoyed Tomodachi Life, and it’s nice to see something from it. But before we can get too far into my other trip down memory lane, this trip down memory lane interrupts it, with Sam realizing they’re going to be late if Taurtis keeps haggling with the shopkeeper for the robot he said wasn’t for sale. But despite that realization Sam and Taurtis are still late to class along with Jay, but he doesn’t get called out by teacher Gareth for being late, so… Anyways Gareth calls up Sam to tell the class about himself, and to show off the item he brought to represent himself, which is his teddy bear, Snugglemuffins, which promptly results in him being laughed at and made fun of by everyone in class, including teacher Gareth. Sam proceeds to run to another classroom crying, but is coaxed back by Gareth bribing him with 1000 Yen, or roughly 9 United States Dollars, so Sam’s bragging about getting 10 bucks wasn’t super off. Next up is Jay, who presented a katana from his katana collection, which everyone thought was cool except Yuki, who’s only comment was “Great, a weeaboo”, which you know what? Valid. Finally Taurtis presents his item, which is the Gamecube, which teacher Gareth promptly steals, robbing Taurtis of his dreams of becoming a professional Melee player, which it was never stated he had but in our hearts we all know he had. At the end teacher Gareth tells the students their assignment is to sell as many cookies as they can and to take some from the chest at the front of class “Just like my wife took everything from me”. 

The boys then head down to get lunch, and Sam, Taurtis, and Jay sit together, and Jay lets Sam play with his katana, where Sam promptly cuts someone with it. Oops. We then overhear the girls making fun of Sam, so Sam sends over Taurtis to talk him up, and on his first attempt he freaks out and runs away, and I’m not gonna criticize him, given the fact that I would have definitely done worse in that situation, being unable to think of what to say and just resorting to some stupid shit like “You got Fortnite on your phone?”. His second attempt goes better, where he then proceeds to shit talk Sam with the girls, saying he was raised by bunnies, and he gets Jay to join in on the fun. This eventually leads to Sam getting mad and wanting to impress Taurtis by saying Sookie is his Girlfriend, Taurtis proceeds to try and win Sookie over, not realizing Sam was lying and setting up a love triangle that I’m sure is going to go well for everyone involved. Shortly after this the bell rings and it is time for Gym class, where we see Rowan wearing nothing, save for a VERY small speedo, which, when we first see him, is covered by his desk. Making it look like he’s ass naked. He then has everyone stretch, and then head out to the pool, since they are going to be doing diving and laps for that day. Everyone then proceeds to get changed into their swimsuits and that is where episode 2 ends.

Episode three then starts with Sam, Taurtis and everyone else changed into their swimsuits, Sam’s is nothing special but Taurtis’ is just like Rowan’s except he has water wings on. The girl’s swimsuits are thankfully not revealing, being a one piece suit, but they aren’t as diverse as the boy’s swimsuits. Except for one student, HiddenSentinels forgot to bring his swimsuit so he is instead sent to clean Rowan’s car. Rowan starts with making them do dives, Sam jumps in and gets his teddy bear wet so he asks Rowan to hold onto it so it doesn’t get more wet, where Rowan proceeds to yeet that motherfucker over the fence. This causes some of the students to feel bad for Sam, as you probably would, at this point Sam, while he’s been a bit of an asshole, hasn’t done anything too horrible. Sookie also mentions that she doesn’t like the water, which brings me to a question, what is Sookie? Is she a human, she has hair. But humans aren’t traditionally green, as far as I know, and are usually fine with water. This comment makes me think she’s water soluble, sort of, but that’s a question for another time. Rowan then gets the students to start doing laps around the pool, and during that exercise one of the students, PowerDragon starts to drown despite having floaties on, and Sam and Taurtis save him, sort of making fun of him for managing to drown with floaties on. Sam has, what we in the business call, a VERY GOOD IDEA, if he pretends to drown, the girls will feel bad for him, save him, and he might even get mouth to mouth from a pretty girl. So he fake drowns next to SirCutieYuki, gets saved by Invader, the girl with the beard for those of you who forgot, and told by SoulOwl to “just swim you nerd”, which, that’s fair. Sam gets mouth to mouth because he is freaked out by girl beard touching him. We have truly entered the comedy area. 

Rowan then has the class move onto the high dive, and between being scared of the high dive, him being kissed by a girl with a beard, and people taking pictures of him after that, Sam runs to get his teddy bear on the other side of the fence, and it is gone, and Sam is upset for all of five seconds before moving on. Sam then returns to the pool and Rowan demonstrates the high dive while staring directly at Sam on his way down. The high drive is by my count is 26 meters high, or roughly 85 feet for us Americans (or Liberians or Myanmarese), which has to be some kind of safety violation, since the pool is only 3 meters deep. Taurtis and the rest of the class, sans Sam, start lining up to do the dive, with Sam opting to go last. Teacher Gareth tells Taurtis that he hopes he falls before he dives, but thankfully for everyone who likes Taurtis he doesn’t eat shit on the pavement after falling 85 feet from the air, and instead lands safely in the pool. Albeit with Rowan berating them for their lack of form. Sam finally does his dive off of the diving board, even though he had to be pushed off of the top of the diving board after he got to the top, and we got to see the whole city, including the unfinished flattened bit we weren’t supposed to. When he gets down we see that teacher Gareth has decided to get in on the high diving fun, fully clothed. This reminds Sam that he and Taurtis should be selling cookies, and he proceeds to try and sell them to Rowan, who shouts that they have empty carbs and yeeted that shit over the fence. While this is happening SoulOwl starts molting in the water, on account of being an owl in water. Between this, Sookie possibly being water soluble, and one student nearly drowning, I’m starting to feel that this swimming exercise might have been ill conceived. After Sookie heads off to take Soul to the nurse Invader tries to sell Rowan some cookies, claiming they have steroids in them, this causes Rowan to start punching her and throwing her cookies into the pool, teacher of the year 2015. At the same time Sam tries to sell cookies to Yuki, who will only buy them if they are from Taurtis, which Taurtis says they are, and he takes all the money, not even giving sam commission for selling the cookies, and then the bell rings, leading to everyone heading home in their swimsuits and Rowan saying that he will take care of their clothes for them.

As everyone is heading home then see that Jay has a fucking boat the size of the school’s pool, Sam and Taurtis ask about how he got so rich, with Sam commenting on the fact that Jay might be an entrepenur, and Jay saying “That’s a secret”, thus smashing my headcannon that Jay recieved all of his money from Kevin O’Leary, from the hit ABC show, Shark Tank. They then see SoulOwl and Sookie, and Sam sends Taurtis to talk to them to see how Soul is doing because he is too shy to talk to her himself. Sam also says that her molting sounds gross, but for Taurtis not to tell her that he said that, with Taurtis pointing out they weren’t super far away from him, and that Sookie and Soul could hear him too, and SoulOwl promptly getting mad at Sam, causing him and Taurtis to flee, when they go past the confiscated items box, where we see their GameCube and a copy of Super Smash Bros Melee. The boys then see Jay has a wrench and ask him to help them break into the office and help them get their GameCube back, because no series is complete without a little breaking and entering. Following their heist the gang heads to the convenience store with Jay to haggle for the robot once again, and the shop owner once again refuses, even after Jay showers him with money, stating it is a priceless family heirloom, Taurtis does however manage to successfully unload all of his cookies onto the shopkeeper, Sam is successful when he tries the same thing, instead Jay offers to buy them, and sam does, stating Jay is the best friend ever because of his money, and inviting him over to play Smash Brothers. Taurtis suggests inviting Invader over as well, because she developed a crush on Sam after giving him mouth to mouth I guess. Sam however declines because she has a beard and that’s gross, Invader however is more than pleased to come along, and does, despite Sam being a real asshole. When they get home however it is revealed that someone has there Teletubbies DVDs, and leaving off on that epic cliffhanger you’ll just have to wait until next week to find out what happens next. Or just watch the next episode before me, I’m a gal who makes terrible decisions, not a cop.

Before we end this post however, I would like to say one thing, Yuki is bi. Why do I say this you may ask, it’s simple, I have evidence, what evidence you may ask? Why, it’s simple

-I feel like it

-It’s my blog and I get to make the LGBTQ+ head cannons

-I can do what I want

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk and I’ll see you twice next week as the internet has decided on two smaller posts a week rather than one big one a week.

[pnwswiftie]

I felt owned by an employer once. He was sexist and baited me into working for him only to turn the tables and gaslight me. And to be honest I’ve never pin pointed the feeling that has sat in my gut about him until recently; until watching my idol go through the same thing on a large scale in front of the world, until what has happened, what has been happening to Taylor Swift in her industry.

Mine was a veterinary surgeon whom I worked with in the past. I left the veterinary field and started a new career. The Vet (we will call him) moved away and when he came back he contacted me with a new idea to start his own practice.

He painted me a beautiful picture of what this clinic would be like. He said he couldn’t do it without me and promised me the world. I still remember the phone call where he said the words- “you will be my practice manager, my right hand, you could run the show and have a handsome career, I’ll make sure you are set for life, you will have an opportunity to buy into the company as well, to profit share.

He offered to pay me whatever my current job paid me. I didn’t jump at saying yes. I worked so hard to be where I was and this was a big risk. My now husband was hesitant and didn’t trust him 🚩 but supportive of whatever I chose (love him). Well, im the only one of me so a month later I took the jump and put in my notice. I trusted him.

I was hired on with one other person. A male, roughly my same age, overall a nice dude. We will call him Sam. I was in charge of all operations of the front desk and all aspects of the business side of things. I started every excel sheet for income tracking, taxes, inventory. I created every document, I created the scheduling program, I set up every vendor accounts. I scanned every piece of paper that came into the clinic doors, I set up our benefits. I answered phones I handled every single client. I visited clinics and preached to people our vision, so they would refer to us (we were a referral based clinic) on my days off. I did it ALL. I also scrubbed into surgery with the Vet and Sam, as there were only 3 of us running the entire show. If the phone rang, I would answer on a headset under my face mask and handle a client or clinic call right there, scrubbed in. I didn’t mind, I felt proud to show off my multitasking skills. He would give a little wink and a joke and the validation felt nice, like I earned his approval 🚩 when I did something above and beyond.

About a year went by and I was rolling in hard earned money, that’s for sure. I was working 7 am to 10 pm some days so I always had overtime. Sam was responsible for 1 thing- patient care, and I was responsible for LITERALLY everything else you could possibly think of. 🚩Needless to say I was getting worked to the BONE 🚩 . I was cool with it tho, this is what I signed up for right? We were growing and successful and getting BUSY!

One day I accidentally found out the pay gap 🚩between myself and Sam. I had been completely naive to the fact that we were not equals, nor was I getting paid “management” but that he made SUBSTANTIALLY more than me. I gave it some energy for a couple days and vented to my husband, then I let it go. Sam was nice, it’s not his fault. 🚩Maybe he’s just worth more than I am to the company, I told myself. 🚩Maybe he has a past history I didn’t know about that made him more valuable. It definitely should have been my red flag 🚩

My relationship with the Vet was kind of like a daughter and father but 🚩 only on his terms. Fun and playful and lots of “your our boss lady!”. It would also take very odd turns, 🚩 having to do small tasks outside my morals. In the office he would call me “the office manager, the boss, it’s all up to you, hospital administrator!” yet on the phone would call me 🚩 “the front desk person” 🚩“my receptionist” to other veterinarians. It bothered me, a lot, but I pushed it away. 🚩Who am I to be that nit picky over a title? 🚩He probably didn’t mean it or misspoke, I thought.

The tricky part is that I only have little under the radar examples of his abuse. 🚩 The ones you can’t QUITE put your finger on, that you can’t QUITE justify quitting on the spot but make you feel 🚩 worthless. They continued every day. He was incredibly sweet and funny, and then 🚩condescending and cruel. It was a roller coaster to try to please him constantly. It wore on me. I came to work and to deal with it I would make lists on scratch paper. Lists of why I was starting to hate my job. Lists that I would read in the car and cry. If I wasn’t cheerful he’d come in with 🚩“PMSING TODAY?” .... I’d laugh n bite my tongue. 🚩 That’s just being friendly playful right, he knows me well enough to say that to me, we’re like family, right? But every day I felt awful. And I needed my job now, more than ever. 🚩 He knew I needed this job, too. We had just put an offer on a house and surprise! we’re now expecting a baby.

Being pregnant changed things. I couldn’t assist in surgery and xrays like I used to. 🚩He would scoff when I would have to leave for prenatal appointments. 🚩 He would be caring and kind one minute, giving me hand me down baby clothes and gifts, and then cold and dry the next. 🚩Sam could and often would sleep in and no call/no show. He would roll in at noon and jump into surgery, acting like nothing happened, they’d joke together about women in front of me and being hung over. I was 5 min late once because of a traffic jam and had to have a “sit down meeting” about attendance. 🚩 I felt so ASHAMED and EMBARRASSED. 🚩 I had never once, NOT EVER, had work problems, attendance problems, behavioral problems, in my entire history of working. This job was my LIFE. 🚩 Was something seriously wrong with me???

The last straw came when I was 6 months pregnant. He claimed that everyone was having a private “check in meeting”. He told me at mine that 🚩him and Sam talked 🚩 and agreed that I’m not the happy bubbly girl I used to be. I sat with him in the shade of a big oak tree in the grass that has since fallen in a wind storm (ironically. He said I would be getting a $1 raise and that he wanted me to take on MORE responsibility since I could no longer assist in surgery and listed basically anything he could possibly think of to tack on to my job to make up for that $1. 🚩 all I could think was... how???? I was already drowning. I finally got courage this time and said NO. My lip quivered and tears ran down my face with 🚩 stress. I brought up valid arguments but looking back I wish my voice wasnt so timid. Or that I had the courage to call out just one, ONE instance of his inappropriate behavior. But lastly, 🚩 I asked why is my title “FRONT DESK PERSON” when Sam is now “Lead Surgery Operations Director (Who Does No Wrong)??

His response sticks with me to this day. It was painful and degrading and I will never forget it. After working my ass off and building this place from the bottom, the long nights and everything I gave them... I also will never forget his 🚩 smirk . “Well you see, giving you a title like that would be like rewarding a BAD DOG with a BONE” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

🚩I was devastated. 🚩And confused. 🚩I’m a BAD DOG???

I stuck it out for the remainder of my pregnancy, working the 12 hour days up until I went into labor at work. I trained a new girl on every process, excel spread, schedule I had developed and created. I put on a fake smile and wrote my scratch lists and re-read my lists on the way home and cried. I couldn’t just quit. I couldn’t let my family down.

We had our baby and stared at his tiny toes and fingers and cried every single day that I may have to go back to my hell job. I interviewed for different clinics while on leave. I was desperate. The vet was on a sweet streak- 🚩 sending us gifts, having his wife cook us meals and checking in on us all the time. He frequently asked what date I was coming back. He informed me that when I came back I would need to take the later shift and give the new girl my current shift. 🚩She needed it, he said. He said we could discuss the title of “lead receptionist” now and could 🚩 continue to work towards my goal of hospital manager. 🚩 I accepted but I felt sick. 🚩 I felt like I had to go back to work for someone who I couldn’t trust. I felt like he owned me in the worst possible way. (At one time he even tried to tell me I had half of the PTO that I actually had saved up for maternity leave, another 🚩🚩🚩 but I saved my paystubs as PROOF)

Today I work for the clinic that we shared the building with. When they heard I left they immediately offered me a position. The Vet left to purchase his own facility. He acted shocked and surprised and in disbelief that I wasn’t returning. At first it was tough, not gonna lie. We literally ate noodles for a year because I went down to part time. But the bravest thing I ever did was RUN ♥️ I now LOVE my job and they treat their employees wonderfully and equally and have real life morals.

I actually didn’t intend for this to be a novel LOL but even if not a single soul reads this, it’s therapeutic for me to actually get my thoughts down after almost 6 years now. My advice is to ALWAYS trust your gut. TRUST THE 🚩 RED 🚩 FLAGS. Don’t let anyone make you question your character. Never EVER ACCEPT being controlled and manipulated against your morals. Choose the future over time spent in the past (thanks T @taylorswift) and work somewhere that respects you. That pays you FAIRLY. Don’t be afraid to TELL your story too because this has to STOP (I’ve almost deleted this whole thing 13x) If it happened to me I can’t imagine how many other women it happens to. Anyway if you read this then holy shit here’s a hug and CHIN UP YOU ARE WORTHY, YOU ARE NOT A BAD DOG. ♥️

[kathyprior4200]

Heavenuva Boss

Not too far away from Holy City lay a beautiful area within the clouds of Heaven. A floating white sign read “Welcome to Elf City: est. 1981.” The sky was blue and the buildings and streets immaculate. Elves of various colors and sizes were chatting among themselves, while others walked around with their families. Many of them were hard at work, wrapping presents for Christmas, saving food to give to the homeless, cleaning a nearby park, and caring for the ill. Some of them liked to volunteer just for something to do. There were also miracle workers, whose job was to travel to different realms and bestow blessings to those on Earth or in other realms in Heaven. Hell was forbidden for obvious reasons. Some elves went around, saving people’s lives or healing their wounds once they prayed.

The most well-known miracle bestowing company was located in a tall office building surrounded by golden halo clouds. Posted on a door were the words “E.L.F.” Headquarters and on a taped piece of paper, “Meeting in progress” was scribbled on it.

On a white board was a line graph and a bar graph, the line slowly moving downwards from a blue happy face to a red sad face. “Docile is the best, by Docile” was written off to the side. A white Christian Cross was drawn in the center of the wooden table surrounded by black leather chairs.

Up front, a black, white, and blue colored elf paced back and forth. He had large pointed white ears that jutted off to the sides between the sides and top of his head. He had large purple eyes. The left side of his face was blue and the right side of his face was dark gray. He wore a long white business suit with blue buttons and purple circles on the sleeves with a cross in the centers. White boots with blue outlines covered his feet while white fingerless gloves covered his hands. A white hoof-shaped mark lay on his forehead like a birthmark. A little green pin attached to his undershirt had a happy face on it. A black halo with thorns on it hovered over his head.

Docile looked toward his audience of two elves and a humanoid cat sitting on chairs around the table.

“All right, now I know business has been…a bit stressful lately. We’ve had to keep up demands and during the rush, not everyone can be saved.” He pointed toward the graph. “It seems that more and more people aren’t counting on miracles from angels and God to help themselves feel better. I don’t know how our company will fare if this keeps sloping down. It’s no one’s fault, okay? I just think that some of us could…help with improving their attitudes… Woxxie.”

Woxxie raised her eyebrows. The grumpy imp woman had a blue face, short white hair with a black spot on it and displayed a row of sharp teeth. She wore white gloves and a white tank top over a long white skirt. Her eyelashes extended past her face. Like the others, she had a black wiry halo over her head.

Docile continued. “Now does anyone have any ideas on how we can business drumming up again?”

Willie, the bubbly elf, raised his hand. He had a blue face, purple eyes, and black hair framing his face. Black freckles were present under his eyes, black halo above his head. He wore a light blue bow tie and a white business suit similar to Docile’s.

Willie grinned, “What…about…a billboard?”

 “That’s a thought, Willie, but there are advertisements everywhere in Heaven,” Docile mentioned. Then his eyes brightened and he waved his hands. “How about a car wash?”

Woxxie crossed her arms. “We’re a company, not a go-to fundraising event, sir.”

Docile wondered over to Woxxie and put her in a headlock. “So helpful, Woxxie, I’m really glad you’re in the room right now.” He gently shoved her aside, sarcasm in his voice. “Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?”

Docile turned on the TV and a series of clips showed up on screen: Docile bandaging an angel’s wings, Woxxie helping a man walk, Sunna, the cat purring at a crying girl, Willie saving someone using CPR.

Docile held a bowl of popcorn for everyone to eat. Sunna, the brown furred, black stripped cat, wore a white dress with a sun on it. She wore a gold cross necklace around her neck. She was purring contently while sniffing her last leaf of catnip she brought. A nearby poster showed Docile and his two elf sisters Mia and Tia with an award for being the best care-providers.

“Ah, those were good times,” he smiled.

Willie happily ate a piece of popcorn on the table.

Woxxie scowled. “Don’t need any reminding sir, considering you blew most of our salaries to help a rival pharmaceutical company with their advertisement, one that you additionally paid to have us hold their hands and sing for three whole weeks on a channel, everybody watches!”

“Hey, uh excuse me?” Docile looked back, insulted. He stood up. “What’s so “obnoxious” about generosity and a super fun song, alright? It’s a fun distraction when an advertisement’s spitting lies.” He walked across the room.

“People love musicals, sir,” added Willie.

“Exactly, Willie,” Docile smiled, “and we’re basically doing a musical.” Docile did jazz hands before during to Woxxie. “Are you gonna criticize my musical theater dreams like my dad did?”

“Sir…” Woxxie began, but Docile cut her off.

“Because all I see right now is my Dad and his angry eyes glaring at me, criticizing my dreams of being, who I truly am inside.” He turned his head away.

Willie leaned in toward his wife and spoke in a teasing tone, “Are you trying to crush his dreams, Woxxie?”

“I…what?” she stuttered.

He leaned in closer, eyebrows raising up and down playfully. “I thought I knew you.” Woxxie rolled her eyes.

Docile turned back to Woxxie, tears in his eyes. “I can’t believe you, Woxxie. And after I made you Employee of the Month.” He held up a picture of Woxxie with a large grin of sharp teeth.

Woxxie threw up her hands. “Okay, sir, I’m sorry, but a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theater. Nobody actually likes the jingles.”

“I liked it!” Willie popped up.

Woxxie turned to him, finger shaking. “Do not…do not agree with him in front of me.”

 In a commercial, Docile spoke in front of purple curtains. “Hi I’m Docile, the “e” is silent and I’m the founder of E.L.F.”  Docile leaned against the L in the logo, with Willie and Woxxie posing on either side. Docile continued, “Are you a piece of gold that got yourself sent to Heaven?” The picture showed Docile dressed in a superhero outfit with a red cape. “Or are you a conflicted convict who just happened to have your life cut short by someone else?” The next picture showed Docile dressed in a red devil costume choosing whether or not to quit smoking and drugs.

 A blue winged angel with a tiger’s head spoke, “After defending myself against my psycho brother and preaching about God, you could imagine my surprise when I wound up here, after the coronavirus killed me. I really wish I could give my family well-wishes and advise them to kick my brother out.”

Docile continued, standing in a church with Willie and Woxxie nearby.

“Well, luckily for you, thanks to our company’s special access to the living world, we can help you take care of your unfinished business by saving anyone who may have helped you out when you were alive!” Docile happily climbed up a flight of golden steps.

 Then the jingle began:

 “When you want somebody saved

And you wanna go behave

Call the Efficient Lifesaving Fellows

Whether First Aid or CPR

We’ll make sure you all go far

Efficient Lifesaving Fellows

We do our job so fine

‘Cause we come straight from Cloud Nine

We’ll save your husband or your wife

We’ll even help extend your life

The Efficient Lifesaving Fellows

 Pets live for freeeeee”

 A brown haired woman stole a guy’s wallet and kicked him in the groin. She ran off and then got shot by police. Yet she only went unconscious. The doctors took her to the emergency room while the imps waited. A doctor walked in on the elves in the waiting room.

“She’s in stable condition, but she’ll need rest. Now what kind of insurance do you freaks have?”

“God’s chosen don’t need insurance,” Docile said.

The elves and the woman were promptly kicked out of the hospital and sent back to Heaven.

  The jingle ended with “Pets live for freeee!”

 Woxxie spoke up, hands in front of her. “I’d like to go on record and say that incident was Sunna’s fault. Dispatch is supposed to give the right info on the client. It’s very simple.”

“I’m sorry, Woxxie, I did the nest I could,” Sunna said.

Woxxie fumed, stuttering “’Sorry’ doesn’t cover it…do your job!”

“Hey, now we don’t blame screw-ups on Sunna, okay?” Docile said. “She didn’t do anything wrong.” Sunna walked over and embraced Docile in a tight hug, Docile straining to break free.

“Are you kidding me, sir? She’s awful!”

 Sunna thought back to the time when she was a receptionist at a desk. The old rotary phone rang, sounding like cats meowing. She picked up the fish-shaped phone.

“Thank you for calling E.L.F. How may we bless you?” Sunna asked.

Willie was on the other end. “There’s a customer ranting about Satan. He wants to commit suicide…”

“Tell him that suicide will not make things better.”

“He wants to rant and curse to you…”

“Just got a call on the other line, apologies.”

Sunna hung up the phone, glancing back at her Fancy Feast Feline magazine.

 Another memory came back to Sunna, which took place at her house.

“Happy Adoption Anniversary, Sunny,” said Docile. “I got a little something for you.” He showed her a gift in his hands.

Sunna smiled. “Is it spiders to play with?”

“I…uh…”

“Then I want it!” she exclaimed happily, tearing open the gift. She took out a white pill and looked in confusion.

“I’m sorry, it was a cure for syphilis,” Docile said, moving toward the wall.

“Docile, it’s a placebo!” Sunna cried, crushing the sugar pill in her paw. “There is no cure!”

 There was one other time when Sunna watched Caroline singing/screaming “Inside of Every Angel is a Monster.” Woxxie walked over, holding a piece of paper in her hands.

“Um, did you just send me an ad for beauty makeovers?”

“Yes,” Sunna replied.

“Is it because I’m so gorgeous?” Woxxie asked with a grin.

“Come on,” Sunna teased. “Just the opposite.”

 Later, Sunna rummaged around, looking for something in the kitchen.

“Who left this tuna salad in the fridge?”

“Wasn’t me,” said Willie. “It was there from yesterday.”

“Is this yours Wox?”

No answer.

“Well, I’m taking it because I have the best feeling right now.”

She closed the door and gulped down the food.

“Now why would you get happy on a work day?” Willie asked, nearby.

“I’m happy from this morning, Willie Nilly,” she giggled.

Woxxie walked inside. “Is that my lunch?”

“I’m so sorry!” Sunna said, then brightened. “You know what? I’ll just go get you another one before work! Time to enjoy my tenth life!”

Sunna raced outside with a “Wheeee!” and helped an elderly elf cross the street.

 “Docile!” Sunna called in the office, “Your privileged boss’s on the phone. Says it’s urgent and wants to talk to you. Sounds a little DTP y.” (Down to Punish)

“Oh no that was one time!” Docile yelled, splashing water on himself in front of Woxxie.

“We wouldn’t have access to the living world if I hadn’t let myself get punished by him.

“You what?” Woxxie asked, concerned.

“I stole a Bible after getting whipped for the sins I did.”

“Docile!” Sunna cried.

“I heard you already!” Docile yelled before stomping into his office to play with bobble heads of himself, Woxxie and Willie.

 “So, what can I do you for, Stolos?” Docile asked on his cell phone in his office.

The brown owl kind spoke from his castle, wearing a crown, white top hat and blue robes. “There’s a politician who’s causing lots of trouble on Earth. He wants to convince people that the coronavirus isn’t dangerous.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Well, it is, but more people die when no extra precautions are taken. And it gets crowded here.”

“Well that makes sense.”

“You know what happens when I’m stressed, Docy?”

“Oh no…” Docile began.

“When I’m stressed, I become angry. And when I’m angry, I have to whip your back and **** strike your **** with a flaming sword, cast you into a windy dessert, freeze you into ice in the lowest level, make you swim in the lake of fire for 1 million ******hours, hang you on a wooden cross for sins you didn’t commit and leave you begging for His mercy like an imperfect mortal!”

Docile hung up the phone and tossed the pieces to Sunna. “Here play with these. And you know after you put it in your mouth?”

“Yeah?”

“Vomit it off a bridge.”

 Docile continued, “Look, the point is, Sunna is a valued member of our family and we don’t get rid of families.”

“We aren’t a family, sir,” Woxxie pointed out. “You are the boss. We are the employees. You treat her like she’s some hyperactive teenager. She’s more like a catnip addicted spoiled woman you let man the phones.”

Sunna stuck out her tongue at her.

“That is offensive,” Docile said. “Without rich people, I wouldn’t have half the joy and laughter I do in this life.” Docile opened the blinds and saw an angel dressed in a golden suit getting his picture taken by a crowd of people. Docile waved at a lovely white-haired blue-faced elf woman wearing a white dress with little white feathery wings on them before closing the blinds.

 Woxxie crossed her arms. “While we’re on the subject of “family,” can you stop finding Willie and me outside of work?”

“Come on, it’s not that big a deal,” Willie said.

Woxxie’s eyes grew wide. “Excuse me…what?! I asked Willie for some lemons, he said “sure, honey.” Docile was suddenly fixing our oven just when we were about to make angel’s food cake!”

Willie laughed, “Docile said “the best aide is lemonade when life gives you lemons.” So funny!”

  Willie and Woxxie remembered the song they sang, while Willie played on guitar:

“Of all the perfect elves,

It’s with him, I’m myself

Oh Willie.”

They leaned in for a kiss when Woxxie whirled around toward the window. Docile had a video camera outside.

“Are you bucking filming us right now?!”

 Back in the present, Woxxie seethed. “Just. Stop. Doing that.”

“I don’t see what the issue is,” Docile said. “Just love good classic romance, holy matrimony…and the honeymoon bonus scenes.”

Sunna rolled her eyes, while Woxxie fumed.

“Sir, what you say and how you act is totally INAPPROPRIATE!” Woxxie stood up.

“Calm down, Wox,” Willie said, pulling her back down. “You’re gonna have another panic attack.”

“I AM CALM!” Woxxie yelled before Willie patted her head. “Shh there, there,” she said, while Woxxie whimpered.

Docile spoke again. “Look I don’t judge what you do outside of working hours, so don’t judge me.”

Veins popped out of Woxxie’s eyes. “Oh I do judge you, sir. Quite a lot, actually.”

She crossed her arms while Willie gasped in fear.

“Wox, he’s our boss!”

“No, it’s fine, Willie,” Docile mentioned. “Your wife is just…how do I say this without being offensive…bossy.”

“Does immaturingly insulting me make you feel better about your sad single life?” Woxxie asked.

“Not really, but it’s still fun,” Docile admitted.

Sunna added to Woxxie, “Even though you can be a grump sometimes, I still appreciate your company.”

“Please don’t call her a grump, kitty cat!” Willie protested.

“Do not criticize my assistant that way,” Docile said. “She’s sensitive.”

“Yes I am,” admitted Sunna.

  “You guys are freaking amazing!”

Everyone turned to look. A pale spirit of a brown-haired teen girl floated nearby, wearing a prisoner uniform.

“Oh thank you, kid,” said Docile. “It’s something for you to witness this.”

“Ugh, this company’s such a mess,” Woxxie exclaimed.

“Alright, let’s get back to talking about my outfit!” Docile said out of nowhere.

“Nobody was talking about that,” Sunna mentioned.

“Which is why I’m trying to get that ball rolling, so how does it look? It’s good, right?”

 The spirit pointed her finger at Docile, “It was heaven being able to rest after being shot by police for mugging a guy, but now…I miss my family. I want life!”

“You,” she said pointing to Docile, “You’re a selfless frugal clown. And I’m a young teen. We’re not supposed to like clowns.”

Woxxie scoffed, “Calling us clowns are ya…”

The spirit added, “If I wanted to talk to a pretty, organized woman, I’d look her in the eye and ask, “How in the world did I get here?”

“That’s my wife you’re talking to,” Willie said proudly.

“I figured you for an athlete but I didn’t know you’d get even luckier. And you.”

“Yeah what about me?” Sunna asked.

“You’re just purrfect. I was never a dog person.”

Sunna purred.

“Wow you really are kind of a nice slab of diamonds,” Docile said.

Woxxie rolled her eyes. “Such a flirt trying to make herself innocent.”

 Sunna spoke up. “Hey guys, I just got a text from our client, says she’s the right one after all.”

“Who?” Docile asked.

“Her.”

“Me?” asked the spirit.

“Yep.”

“They wanted us to save an actual convict?” Docile asked.

“That’s what they’re saying.”

Docile frowned. “Well Satan in a heater, I guess there is a Devil.” He waved his hands, supplying oxygen to her and she woke up back on Earth in the hospital.

Docile spoke about E.L.F.: “You know folks, with this company, I really wanted to prove that we’re capable of doing the same things anyone else can, like saving people. So from us here at the Efficient Lifesaving Fellows group, we promise to settle your unfinished business or your money is gone and you’re never getting it back and you can write us a bad review but we’ll play dumb to it because it’s Heaven and business is business.”

  Everyone wrapped Docile in a hug, whole he rolled his eyes. Then he said, “Even though the kid was a client, she’s still a convict. It’s important that we’ve handled this going forward, respectfully.” Everyone smiled in the hug.

 Back on Earth, the elves cornered the escaping woman and sent her to a juvenile detention center. The police looked up at the elves through a portal.

“You’re welcome!” Docile called with a wave before the portal closed.