#it's fucking awful besties

[otter-byte]

Boss: youre taking a long time to clear tickets. Are there blockers we can clear?

Me: *shaking while I try to resist replying with"you" before turning off my notifications* uh I guess I need to streamline my approach

[greenglowinspooks]

(DCxDP) The obligations of a rogue versus those of a parent (Pt. 4)

—

Tw: descriptions of body horror, Dr. Crane has PTSD and Does Not Realize, Crane has an actual panic attack and just doesn’t care, the Riddler makes one (1) sex joke about Batman

Will be crossposted to AO3 eventually

(Pt. 1 here) (Prev here) - (Pt. 5 here)

(Masterlist here)

—

Dr. Jonathan Crane is in his lab, the acrid scent of chemicals filling the air, and his hands are shaking.

Danny’s health, for the first week that he had him, had been steadily improving at an extremely quick rate. However, his healing had begun to stagnate. Danny said that it was because his body had run out of ectoplasm, and that while there was a lot of ambient ectoplasm in Gotham, he needed a stronger type in order to heal.

And so, that led Dr. Crane here.

He had stolen the research notes from the Penguin years ago regarding his experimentation on him.

(He quite vividly remembers the sound of bone creaking and groaning as it twisted, lengthened. The squelching of shifting tendons and muscles, the strange fabric-like tightening of skin. The feeling of going from man to monster, of losing all claim to his humanity.)

Danny had called him Liminal, part ghost. He had said that he was transformed by, among other things, a kind of synthetic ectoplasm.

Danny needed ectoplasm.

Crane had the research notes. He had every ingredient necessary. And yet, attempt after attempt failed.

The chemical smell burns his nose. His hands tremble.

Dr. Crane is not afraid.

He doesn’t feel fear anymore. He’s tried to, many, many times, but nothing has worked. And yet, his hands are shaking still.

(The horrifying sensation of vertebrae pop-pop-popping along his spine, growing and lengthening. The unbearable itching beneath his skin as toxin glands begin to form. The feeling of his teeth sharpening and elongating, of his skull growing, of his vision changing and brightening. The awful stench of chemicals. The awful stench of ectoplasm.)

Jonathan takes careful note of his shaking hands, his blurring vision, his accelerated heart-rate and shallow breathing.

(Human hands. Human vision. Human heart and lungs and organs.)

He takes note of them, but he does not let that distract him from the task at hand. Danny is not a chemist, but Jonathan is.

The boy knows enough about chemistry in theory, but he won’t go anywhere near Crane’s equipment. He seems to have some sort of intense fear of laboratory settings, probably developed during his stay with the GiW, and Crane is willing to respect that, if only because he cannot afford to lose him.

As such, Crane is the only one qualified to do this. And, unfortunately, if he isn’t successful the boy may very well die.

He heats the chemicals to precisely the right temperatures, adding each one to its correct container.

Dr. Crane thinks of the Scarebeast, that creature born of cruelty and greed and a sense of superiority. That creature which he tries to ignore is a part of him, that can never be removed. A damage which cannot be undone.

He pours the contents of a small beaker into a larger flask, watching the liquids swirl together. The stench in the air is becoming closer and closer to the one burned into his memory.

Crane’s whole body is wracked with unpleasant sensations. It’s truly unfortunate, he thinks, that despite his mind’s lack of fear, his body still reacts so harshly.

Jonathan’s eyes wander, eventually settling on a purple and green card sitting innocently on the corner of the table.

Right.

Even if they wiped out the GiW tomorrow, and even if Danny could survive without ectoplasm, he would still be in danger.

Crane has to get him back to good health. It’s the only way he can be sure that the boy can defend himself properly.

The solution in the flask begins to foam, and Jonathan does not hesitate as he adds the final ingredient. He pours the mixture into a new container, capping it and placing it into a freezer set to -40 degrees.

Hopefully this time he got the timing right.

Jonathan tries to relax, the ventilation in the room slowly but surely clearing the familiar smell from the air.

He thinks of the letter.

Surely, he thinks, that man can come up with some better material for his jokes. Or, at least something new.

Same old threats, same old attempted poisoning.

Aiming his threats at Danny, though, that was new. New and utterly unacceptable.

Scarecrow did what he had to.

He doubted that his solution would last forever, of course, as with that man it never did. As such, he would prepare both himself and Danny for the inevitable moment that his choices came back to bite them.

However, for the moment, they were safe. Danny could rest and recover, and Jonathan could figure out a plan to minimize possible damages.

Jonathan is no longer shaking.

He’s exhausted. This is his fifth attempt today, and each one leaves an unfortunate strain on his mind and body.

With a sigh, he settles himself into his seat at a nearby desk, opening up his computer and logging his most recent attempt. He still has to wait for it to chill to know if it was successful, but he can always update the logs later.

Once he’s done, he stretches, joints popping loudly as he walks to the freezer.

When he sees the results of his tireless work, the ghost of a smile flits across his face.

Success.

Jonathan picks up the jug of ectoplasm and leaves the lab, which is in all actuality the basement of the new apartment that he moved himself and Danny into after receiving the note. The scrappy old woman who was his landlord had told him that as long as he paid her five hundred dollars up front, she would let him set up in the basement without any questions or cop calls.

And so, the most expensive apartment in the Narrows was his.

At least, he thought, the distance between the basement and the apartment was short enough that Danny didn’t have to sit in while he was doing his labwork.

Jonathan knew that he didn’t exactly have a strong grasp on the concept of ‘lab safety,’ proven by his built-up immunity to almost every toxic chemical he’d ever encountered, and he doubted that Danny should be around such an environment.

He was back to the apartment quickly, not bothering to hide the self-satisfied smile on his face. Danny is sitting in his armchair, trying to read one of his books. Danny looks up, ready to greet him, when he sees the jug in his hands and pauses.

“Is that..?”

“Synthetic ectoplasm,” Jonathan says proudly, “I found the Penguin’s research notes and decided to recreate it, since you said that you needed it to heal properly. I’m not sure if it’ll work the same as what you usually have, but I hope it’s helpful all the same.”

Danny is standing, now, and looking at Jonathan with a strange look in his eyes. He looks, Jon thinks, like he’s about to cry.

Then Danny is rushing forward and wrapping his arms around Jonathan, his scrawny form shaking.

Jonathan is, for a moment, horrified. Did he do something wrong somehow? Why is this child, who’s so afraid of touch, hugging him?

And then he hears Danny’s voice, and he knows that it was all worth it.

“Thank you,” he’s mumbling, over and over, “thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so much.”

“Of course,” Jonathan says softly, because what else can he say?

The boy cries in his arms for a while, and Jonathan briefly wonders what his life must have been like before, if a person like him can be seen as a comforting figure.

Then, Danny pours himself a small glass of the synthetic ectoplasm, putting the rest into the small fridge which had come with the apartment, and he settles back down, sitting in the armchair once again.

Jonathan sits opposite of him, and they chat with one another as Danny drinks.

Danny talks to him about the stars and tells him about different spaceships, and Jonathan makes sure to pay attention and ask the boy questions.

He doesn’t miss the way that Danny lights up every time he asks him something about his interests. He’s so passionate, so smart, a trait that he seldom sees outside of his fellow rogues, and Jonathan wants to encourage that.

It’s…nice. Peaceful, almost.

And then the front door flies open, because Jonathan isn’t allowed to have nice things.

“Jon,” a familiar voice rings out, “what the hell?!”

Danny is frozen in place, clearly terrified.

Jonathan heaves a sigh, turning to face the nuisance who’s entered his apartment.

“Eddie,” he drawls, “to what do I owe the pleasure?”

Edward’s face is red with anger as he invades Jonathan’s apartment.

“Oh, I don’t know! Maybe it’s the fact that you sent a bunch of rogues a cryptic message and then dropped off the face of the earth for two weeks! I was worried, Jon!”

Jonathan hums in acknowledgement.

“I didn’t think it was that cryptic,” he says, picking up a book in order to pointedly ignore the Riddler.

“Oh, of course you didn’t, you straw-stuffed hickory dickory dickhead. I swear, you’re always—” he pauses, finally having noticed Danny sitting opposite of Jonathan, “—who is this?”

“My apprentice,” Jonathan replies, dreading the upcoming headache he was no doubt going to develop from Edward’s company, “he’s helping me hunt down the GiW. His name is Danny.”

Edward gasps dramatically.

“You���an apprentice?! And you’re letting him sit in the old man chair?! You don’t even let me sit in the old man chair,” he wails, draping himself over the headrest of the couch with a flourish, “Jonathan, I thought I knew you!”

“Edward,” Jonathan says, “get out of my apartment.”

“Oh my goodness, this is incredible. You’re becoming the bat!”

“I am not becoming the bat, Eddie, now get out.”

Edward has a shit-eating grin on his face as he waltzes over to Danny. Danny, who seemed terrified when he first appeared, is now looking at him with obvious amusement written all over his face.

“I mean, look at him! The hair, the eyes, the scrappy build. If you put him in one of those traffic light vigilante costumes, he could easily pass as a Robin!”

“I’m not doing this with you today, Eddie.”

“Riddle me this, Jon: I am a treasure hidden inside of a chest. You can break me, or steal me, or give me a rest. I can flutter, or pound, or attack, or drop, but if you don’t have me, you’re certainly fucked. What am I?”

Jonathan pauses for a moment before he groans, dropping his head into his hands.

“Eddie.”

Danny sits still, a confused look on his face as he repeats the riddle silently. Then, his face lights up in delight.

“A heart!”

“Jon, I like this one,” Edward says with a smile, ruffling Danny’s hair, “you are correct! A heart, something that I wasn’t aware that our dear Jonathan had!”

“Eddie, stop.”

“No, no,” Edward says, “I was worried about you, you deserve this. I mean, you even missed girls night! You never miss girls night!”

“Girls night?” Danny asks, absolutely delighted.

“Oh, of course,” Edward says, sprawling over on the couch, dangerously close to just laying in Jonathan’s lap, “we have it once a week. I’m invited because of Selina and Jon’s invited because Harley likes him.”

“And what does girls night entail, exactly?”

“Eddie,” Jonathan groans, “please.”

“Well,” Edward hums, “we usually paint our nails, or watch a movie, or gossip about the other rogues, and occasionally, we tell each other about any ‘encounters’ we have with Batman,” he says, raising his eyebrows up and down.

Danny’s jaw drops.

“Edward, shut up,” Jonathan says, an irritated tone in his voice that wasn’t there before.

“No way,” Danny says, “I thought that Batman, like, hated you guys or something. You mean he actually..?”

“Oh, the Bat is much like a bottle of liquor or a cheap cigarette, in that he was made to be passed around.”

Danny chokes on air.

“Edward Nygma,” Jonathan hisses, getting out of his seat and looming over the man, “get the hell out.”

Edward pales.

“Leaving, leaving!” Edward says, dashing away from Jonathan. He pauses, turning to flash Danny a quick smile.

“Remember Danny, I’m your favorite uncle! Not any of the other rogues, me!”

With that, he leaves, the room falling completely silent.

And, as per usual, that silence does not last.

“You full-named him?” Danny asks gleefully, “and it worked?”

Jonathan just sighs, sitting down on the couch and rubbing at his temples.

“Please, don’t take anything Eddie says seriously. He’s a moron.”

“Dr. Crane, please let me come to girls night with you,” Danny pleads, his eyes sparkling, “I promise I won’t embarrass you.”

Jonathan groans.

“Of course you won’t, Eddie will do it for you.”

“Come on, please?”

“I think we’re a bit busy with the GiW at the moment,” Jonathan snaps. He pauses as he notices the crestfallen expression on Danny’s face.

This boy is going to be the death of him.

“Perhaps, though, when all that is taken care of…”

Danny cheers, grinning wildly, and Jonathan is not at all relieved to see him happy again. Certainly not.

The rest of the day is relatively normal.

Danny works on trying to get information from the GiW database while Crane refines his his fear toxin, both preparing for a raid on the GiW base they located in Gotham.

It was only a temporary base, nothing of note, but there was a chance of discovering more bases through it, and that wasn’t something either of them were willing to give up.

Still, something like this would take time. Rushing would only lead to failure.

…

Late in the night, long after Danny is fast asleep in his room, Jonathan pauses.

The GiW are not the only threat out there. They aren’t the only threat to him or to Danny. Perhaps it could be helpful to reach out to someone with greater resources than himself.

He sends a quick message to Red Hood.

Hopefully, he thinks, everything will go smoothly.

—

[youngpettyqueen]

I wish Julian and Martok would interact more cause I think they could have the funniest possible dynamic. they spent 5 weeks together in a Jem'Hadar prison I just know they have a friendship that looks fucking INSANE from the outside looking in

[tanjir0se]

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT SAI

My sweet sweet rude ass little bitch. I would KILL FOR HIM!!!!!! I’m going to BLOW UP THE MOON!!!! I literally LOVE HIM!!

Fucking mean as fuck

In awe of his tism

Never misses an opportunity to call Naruto’s dick small. No shit said it probably close to like six or seven times this season

At the climax of the arc decided to whip out his diary and draw a picture of him and his bestie holding hands!!!!!

Crop top and fingerless gloves. Le Essence du Cunt

Has no identity or emotion or self concept outside of what he’s ordered to do. So fucking tragic I’m ripping my own eyes out

Was literally going to murder sasuke (due to aforementioned lack of self concept outside of orders) until he correctly realized gay love is more important than the safety of leaf village and also his mission, the literal only piece of himself he has to hang onto.

And he’s RIGHT!!!!

And then took it upon himself to try to convince sasuke to come back, one mean gay bitch to another

Just to immediately get his ass kicked by Naruto’s ex

WROTE THE WORD FRIEND ON A STICKY NOTE SO HE CAN PULL IT OUT WHENEVER HE THINKS ABOUT NARUTO AND SAKURA. HELLO

Why is his slutty lil tummy out. Sir put that thang away I am begging you

SAI IS THE FUCKING CHARACTER OF ALL TIME I CNANOT BELIEVE I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT KONOHA’S MEANEST TWINK AND THE CUNTIEST BOY IN THE UNIVERSE

[squirrelno2]

If anyone is like me and regularly scrolls through websites looking at fancy nutcrackers, you're legally obligated to tell me if you ever see a Princess Pirlipat themed one, or any female nutcracker that actually has the proper mouth and doesn't just crack nuts with her cleavage. I am the only person in the world with Vision I swear

[thornsent]

oh well apparently they have me blocked so I guess they'll be fine if they go on my blog and make the decision to look and see this lol <3

I lost my best fucking friend this year like a week before my birthday because they decided to cheat on their fiancee who they had been with for 12 years with at least 3 of their coworkers at the job their fiancee got them. their fiancee was at this job for a loooong time and considered their coworkers like family. not only that but my former best friend lied to everyone and manipulated the fuck out of the situation. at first when people confronted them they seemed to relent and just accept they fucked up, but when I confronted them and really went in on just how fucked up this is to me specifically (I had an ex that did this to me LMAO and they know about how bad it fucked me up) they then promptly began to gaslight me, say that I knew I was cheating on their fiancee and ENABLED it, etc.

it was unimaginably cruel and completely unlike them and I am quite literally traumatized and only just coming out of shock from it because that person is not my best friend and I genuinely do not understand what happened to them. I told them over n over when they vented about the issues they were having to just talk about it like adults but they never did, they just ghosted their FIANCEE and tried to avoid them and literally told me they "hoped they'd just get the hint" (again. 12 years total they were together. they were engaged. I was so stoked for them and so excited to go to the wedding. their ex had been saving for a house and everything and it was just so reminiscent of what my last ex did to me that it makes everything a thousand times worse)

Our last conversation I barely remember bc I was shaking and crying so hard I could not see the screen (they broke up w their partner over text too. so like. yeah.) but I basically was just like I don't understand why you did this when you know how bad it hurt me why would you do it to someone you loved for 12 years, why would you lie to me, why would you lie to everyone else, I love you but this is so cruel and horrible it changes how I view you forever and I can't move past that, etc (in addition to screaming at them for cheating on their partner with a wook with heinous vibes and the wit of a styrofoam block) and eventually their responses got so fucking horrendously manipulative I muted them with the intent to come back to the conversation, but then other shit kept piling onto me and quite literally this shit was so bad whenever I would begin to try and unpack it I would have a mental breakdown

anyway I've been having a rough fucking october because in addition to it being the 10 year anniversary of my worst abuser's death (mom, died on halloween when I was 16) normally this time of year I'd be spending a ton of time with the now-ex best friend because we tried to throw halloween parties every year and we always made a big production of it. this year, because I'm so far away I don't get to see any of my friends or do anything. We don't have the money for gas. I haven't made friends here because when I haven't been busy I've been too exhausted to even take care of myself, and I can't find any sort of event for adults for halloween locally. I can watch spooky movies with my girlfriend but fuck dude. It's about the tradition.

moreover it's about the sense of family. That's going to fuck me up this entire holiday season and I won't forgive them for it--- My ex bestie's family was so inclusive of me, I'd get invited over for thanksgiving and christmas and it made me look forward to those holidays because I wouldn't be rotting alone in my room, I'd be with friends. With family. I've never fucking had that and then I finally did and then they fucking took it from me and I don't think I will ever forgive them for it. I didn't block them here or anywhere else because I really truly in my stupid fucking heart thought they'd realize how bad they fucked up, but also realize they didn't have to lose me too. but they fucking chose to, at the end of the day. it felt like they wanted to get rid of everyone from their boring old life and go fuck this stupid fucking russian boy.

I'd been trying not to post about this because I know for a fact some of you guys know who I am talking about and are also mutuals with them and idk I guess I wanted to preserve some sense of their dignity? but something about this, about realizing they fucking blocked me, just gets to me. I left the light on for them and they just smashed it. There's literally no sense or purpose to their actions aside from selfishness. they ruined their own life and I think ultimately they only cried so much because they were found out, not because they actually felt guilt or remorse for what they did. and if that's the case then I guess I just never knew this person at all and it is heartbreaking and so isolating.

if they ever read this I do genuinely hope it haunts you, I hope the consequences follow you until you learn your fucking lesson, I have shed far too many tears over this and I know my Mother is watching you. I hope you are publicly strangled by your own shame until you fix whatever it is in yourself that makes you do these things to other people and their feelings and lives because it isn't cute, it isn't funny, it is a disease that spreads to everything you love until you find the source and stop it. and if you don't then brother I just hope you die before you do it to someone else. You don't get to shimmy out of this.

[i-am-agent-washingtub]

Took my little brother to school with me and all he did was nibble my homework >:(

[lavenderspence]

I need everyone I interact with to know that my anxiety is so bad, that every time I sent an ask or comment or reblog, I start wondering if this is the moment I'm going to get blocked, or if whatever it is that I've said is going to make them hate me...so, yeah

Same with comments, that's why i take so long to respond lol

So if I stop interacting for a minute, blame miss anxie she knows what she's doing

[venndaai]

As bad as the homophobia and transphobia are, I think the most unpleasant part of Fitz’s Amber meltdown are his misogynistic thoughts about how Amber is ~gossiping about womanly things~ like her friends’ pregnancies and personal lives, because it’s really painting a grim picture of everything Beloved has to repress about themselves to be Fitz’s best bro. How are they ever gonna be happy with this guy.

[lilworms]

overwhelmed by words

[juniperhillpatient]

absolutely hilarious to me the contrast of writing happenstance while occasionally getting inspiration & drafting stuff for my next project which is… drastically different 😅 here’s a wholesome scene about the power of friendship & love 😊 ok now here’s a family of deeply hurt & flawed individuals with absolutely no hope of salvaging any of their relationships ever 💔

[attractthecrows]

brooo i hate having Dreams That Piss You Off i woke up all pissed off at NOTHIIINNNNNGGGGG

[gemharvest]

Without getting too much into detail the thought of my ex trying to contact me again is a huge-ass nightmare scenario to me but at least it's unlikely he'll try again atp. I have also gotten panicked over the worry that he might worm his way back into the spaces I'm in and I'd have to like, end up explaining The Lore to people I have gotten to know but who weren't around for it. So they know I'm not just being a dick to some random guy if it were to ever come up. Which like, actually it's really funny to me that the current fixation I have is adjacent to an interest I know he had. I don't know if that'd translate into him ending up in the little fandom circle I've carved out but if it did I'd probably throw up and cry Lol.

[marklikely]

someone asking "how can people love ram" what you don't understand could fill volumes

[rizz-penguin]

Back on my snw shit

[evansbby]

I have a question

What happens if Chris evans openly supports Isnotreal?

Considering you are muslim and you support Palestine?

And Ari is a zionist.

You probably won’t answer this because you definitely don’t care.

Okay?