#idk got closer w him again after ex gf and it just kept going and we were back to talking every night and I found myself getting

[lilworms]

overwhelmed by words

[setter-crush-central]

Can we have the old flame thing but with Akaashi please? Idk why but I really like reading fics that have got to do with old crush/ex-gf and then break my heart and cry with all the angst 😂 But of course, the ending is up to you loves!

Thanks for the request!

She was gorgeous, there was no doubt about it.

She introduced herself as Mizushima Akira. She seemed kind, including you in the conversation with Akaashi as they caught up with each other. Your discomfort definitely wasn’t stemming from her.

It was stemming from the fact that Akaashi’s hand drifted further from yours with every minute that she was there until eventually your hand was sitting in your lap without his clasped around it.

He was smiling at her, his blue eyes crinkling around the edges as he laughed at a story she told. His smile was different than the smile he usually gave in public conversations. With a sinking feeling, you realized that it was the smile he typically reserved for you. His public smile was small, and hardly ever showed his teeth. This smile was bigger, it showed his teeth, and made his entire face light up. You loved that smile, and you believed that it was yours alone.

But apparently he didn’t think the same.

Mizushima excused herself after about fifteen minutes, but the damage that she had inadvertently caused lingered.

“Keiji, can we go home? I don’t feel so well.” You said, and it wasn’t a lie. You felt sick to your stomach every time you remembered that smile.

He looked confused. “Are you sure? We’ve been planning this date for a while.”

“I’m sure. Let’s just go home. Please.” You said, and you couldn’t quite meet his eyes.

He paid the bill for your barely touched drinks, and you went home.

It took him two hours to ask what was wrong.

You had been in a pile of blankets on the end seat of the couch since you had gotten home, the television playing in the background for noise.

Akaashi had been wandering around the house doing various things, but now he sat down a considerable distance away from you. “What’s wrong?”

“I told you, I just don’t feel well.”

“You’re lying. Something happened at the restaurant.” He said.

“Keiji, I’m just tired. Just let me sit here, please.”

Akaashi was quiet. “Was it Akira?”

You hesitated. “No, I already told you nothing happened.”

“You paused. So it was something with her? I don’t understand why she would upset you so much.”

“Really? You don’t understand why it would bother me that you were flirting with someone else?”

There it was. His eyes were wide now, but they had widened in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not trying to start something, Keiji, but there’s no way that you didn’t realize what you were doing. You’re too smart for that.”

You turned to him, and he had his head lowered, staring at the ground. He  didn’t look like he  was going to start talking, so you continued.

“She introduced herself as an old friend, but you definitely didn’t act like she was an old friend. I’m sorry for being jealous, but what else am I supposed to think?”

“She wasn’t an old friend.”  He said quietly, but it sounded like a shout in your mind.

“Then what is she?”

“My ex-girlfriend.” He said.

You unconsciously leaned back away from him. “Your ex? From how long ago?”

“First year of college. About six months before we met.” He said.

“Why didn’t you tell me about her?”

“There isn’t anything to tell, ______. And you never asked about my history.” He said, lifting his head but keeping his eyes averted.

You kept pushing. “If there isn’t anything to tell, why are you being so defensive?”

“I’m not being defensive! I don’t want you to get the wrong idea of what she is to me. We’ve been over for a long time, and I’m with you now, so I don’t see why Akira even matters.”

“What matters is your reaction to her, Keiji! You were leaning toward her, and making inside jokes that I don’t understand, and you laughed at everything she said, and you stopped holding my hand, and you smiled at her. God, Keiji, the way you smiled at her was not the way you smile at someone you’re just friends with.”

There it was. Everything you felt laid out in the open. He stood up and paced a few steps before stopping. “I was just having a conversation with her. I didn’t think you would get jealous.”

“It wasn’t just a conversation. Have you really not noticed how distant you’ve been with me since she came to our table?” You said.

“I haven’t been distant with you!” He said, his temper growing. You hated making him angry, but this had to be said.

“Yes, you have. You’re practically always holding my hand, or you have your hand on my leg. She walked up and suddenly it was like we were in high school caught by a parent or something. You pulled your hand away from me and you were getting closer to her. You don’t talk a lot, Keiji, but your body speaks volumes for you.”

You looked away, trying to hide the tears in your eyes. He paused, and then came and kneeled in front of you.

“Hey. Look at me.” You shook your head, keeping your teary eyes fixed on the wall. He sighed. “Okay, fine, don’t look at me. But I want you to hear this. I’m sorry.”

You turned to look at him. “For what?”

“For making you feel this way. I…I didn’t realize what that looked like to you. I guess I didn’t think about how much me pulling away meant. Akira was important to me. I was in love with her. We broke up because she wanted to date other people. She wasn’t in love with me like I was in love with her.”

You stared at him. “W-Why are you telling me this?”

“So that you understand what happened tonight. It hurt when Akira broke up with me. She thought I didn’t seem as interested in her as I said I was, so I guess it was partly my fault. I guess part of me wanted to show her how much I’ve changed since then, and it made me pay more attention to her than I did to you. But what I had with Akira is nothing compared to what I have with you. I’m sorry for how I made you feel, and I want you to tell me if I ever make you feel that way again. I love you, and I don’t ever want to make you cry.” He said. “Do you forgive me?”

You nodded and wiped tears away. “I’m sorry for overreacting.”

“Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He said, and he wrapped his arms around you.

After a moment, you pulled yourself free and kissed his cheek. “So how about we just order takeout and we can talk more? Like we used to?”

“Yeah, I’d really like that.” He said, and then he smiled.

He smiled that smile that really was only meant for you, and you imprinted it in your mind. You were never going to lose that image ever again.