#it's easy to love Solomon because THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOUR IS NOT SOLOMON

[katboykirby]

- cracks knuckles -

Solomon lover here, with more answer than you probably ever wanted in the first place. How are Solomon lovers not on his ass over this? Well, speaking for myself:

Mostly because the contrivances of "we need to push the plot forward" and "we want to make this very specific (entirely unrealistic) scenario happen" are a fault of the writing, and sometimes even the translation of the English dialog from the Japanese original. It's extremely easy not to attribute these kind of really obtuse writing issues to individual characters, because this is a writing issue that happens all the time and has happened to every single character in the game.

OM has a problem with its writing. I don't think that's news to anyone who plays it. OM has issues with consistency, whether it's characterisation or lore or worldbuilding, it has issues. These problems are most obvious and most glaring during Pop Quiz Events and the Event stories - I assume because they're self-contained "one offs" that aren't connected to the main plot, so therefore the characters actually being kept in-character isn't considered a necessity.

The writers have an annoying habit of making the boys act wildly out of character if it serves the silly little stories they want to tell. There's this desire for "okay but what if THIS extremely contrived thing happened and then THIS incredibly specific scene happened and then THIS very weird interaction happened, because that would be very silly" and the writers, for some reason, always put nonsensical and illogical story goofiness above the actual characterisation. Oh, "he would not fucking say that" you tell me? Well, I know that he would not fucking say that, but if he doesn't do this [very out-of-character thing] then that means I can't write this super awesome silly goofy wacky scene for the event. Soooo, ignore what would be consistent with the characters, and just make them do whatever you want in order to move the Event plot along.

This time it's happening to Solomon. I can tell you, as a massive Solomon fan and as someone who has read every single chapter of main story in both games, every single event in both games, and every single Solomon Devilgram, that this behaviour is extremely out-of-character for him. Yes, Solomon has omitted specific truths before in order to keep certain details secret from the others, but not only was this later revealed to be very much for the safety and benefit of everyone involved (see S2 of the original game) and Solomon wouldn't do this kind of thing over something so trivial... the absolute last thing that Solomon would EVER want is to do or say anything that would make MC hate him.

He has said so himself, and even a cursory glance at his Devilgrams or his character chats all basically throw this aspect of his character in the player's face. If he even so much as makes the MC frown, he feels fucking awful about it and tries to make it up to them. He has bemoaned more than once that if MC didn't like him for any reason, or if MC was mad at him, that would be the absolute worst thing in the world that could possibly happen to him. Solomon is constantly bending, twisting, and breaking his own rules in order to benefit MC, even at his own detriment.

This kind of extremely contrived, unrealistic situation like the example you gave from the current event, is behaviour is so wildly out of character for Solomon that it's almost funny. But this is what happens with OM events over and over and over again - the characters remaining consistent and actually in character is secondary, because the goofy wacky hijinks of the silly event story always have to come first.

Remember, this has happened to every single character. The single most egregious example is probably Lucifer's birthday event story in which Barbatos (and the other characters too, but the actual act was performed by Barbatos) literally drugged Lucifer the player's tea in order to knock them unconscious, then set up their unconscious body in a position for Lucifer to "enjoy" on a date. This was so completely out of character for everyone (especially Barbatos, who I genuinely cannot imagine harming MC this way) but it was also so eerily close to real-world examples of date rape that players were almost universally creeped out. There were so many complaints that Solmare publicly apologised.

Anyway. This is a ridiculously long response and I'm sorry that I got so wordy with it. But this is an aspect of OM's writing that has been a problem pretty much since the game began, so I had a lot of ammo with which to answer your question.

Tl;Dr - the event stories have always been especially bad at making all of the boys act very out-of-character, and this is just another example of that. It's very easy to still love Solomon, because it is very easy to recognise that this is a writing issue. It's a problem with the writing itself that directly targets the characters/characterisation to sacrifice for the sake of pushing along story beats that wouldn't work otherwise.

(And fwiw OP, this is in no way an attempt at an argument or discourse, I just wanted to answer your question because I have a lot of feelings about this exact problem)

Bon Voyage Event Spoilers!

God Solomon's lies by omission are really getting out of hand.

"Oh MC, I'm so sorry! I was just testing out this magic pillow to go into dreams and somehow accidentally fell asleep! So sorry we spent the night together in dreamland. I am not sorry in the slightest"

"Oh, by the way, would you like to try the pillow to go into my dreams? You would?? Great! Well we'll have to sleep together tonight even though I just used the pillow totally fine when we were in different rooms. No backsies"

"Hm? Having trouble sleeping? Take a whiff of this! It's not chloroform if it's magic"

"And now we're in my dreams! What fun! We are going on a cutesy, cliche human world date where not a damn soul can disturb us or so help me-!!"

How are you Solo-lovers not just constantly-

[arcadejohn127-9]

What if Mc was a person who don't take shit from anyone, demon human or Angel, and just was this small sassy piece of dynamite? How’d everyone react?

MC who takes no shit - brothers + undateables

Satans pact and chapter 16 spoilers

Lucifer:

So you've chosen death

This man can't even handle the smallest sign of defiance

an actual bitch boy

"You are here because you were picked to attend, you were listed to be under my care, this is MY house! You follow MY rules-"

"hold that for a second, I'm calling Dia."

He's so easy to rile up

You feed off his quick temper, he makes it too easy

But he deserves it

Too many times he thinks he can just control you and his brothers

You've cut Mammon down from the ceiling, when faced to Lucifer you just handed him the rope

"If you want someone to hang so much, do it yourself, old man, it is your fault after all - if you didn't leave your cursed valuables lying around Mammon would of never tried to steal them and get himself cursed."

Mammon:

He both scared of you and in awe of you

He's surprise you're still alive at this point

Of course you're alive, the great Mammon is looking after you

You have definitely called him out for being a tsundere

"So, you wanna make out or do you wanna keep yammering on?"

"I- You can't just be saying that to demons!! Why would I wanna kiss some human-"

"Kay, I'm going to go see if Levi wants to-"

"WAIT! DON'T DO THAT!"

Whenever he steals something from you or the others, you go on a man hunt

"Sell your own stuff! You always have something new in there! or are you that scummy and bad with money you need to steal off others ?"

Please have some mercy with him

In general, finds your sassy attitude interesting, always wonders what the new comment or roast will be

Levithan:

Scared and in awe but times it by 10

Is mostly terrified because you make him upset

Didn't expect to be called a guilt tripping bitch

"You're busy? I get it, I mean - why would you ever want to spend time with someone like me? I'm just some nobody, a yucky otaku who no one wants to be around-"

"I get having a low self esteem but shitting on yourself at EVERY given chance and then go on to be about how yucky and worthless you are when I just wanna spend time with someone else?! You can fuck right off!"

He thinks you're a delinquent, has gotten you a cool jacket so you can put it over your shoulders

You can pat him on the back for at least being able to stand up for himself, he's always ready to brawl and never shys away from calling his brothers out

Always lets you wear his headset and just watches as you cuss and sass any petty player

Satan:

It seems you keep choosing death

You wanna get sassy and back talk the literal embodiment of wrath????!

So - do you want be buried or cremated?

You take none of his shit

He respects it just as much as he hates It

We all know he has good control over his anger but there's a limit on how much of your attitude he can stand

"You're so petty, do you have to be a smart-ass about everything?"

"that's rich coming from the guy who threatened to cut off my limbs because I wouldn't make a pact wth him."

When he doesn't respond you just nod to yourself, checking your nails

"Yeah that's what I thought."

If he needs to come up with a good come back he always asks you

Sits back and watches you argue with Lucifer

Asmodeus:

He loves it until you call him out

Didn't expect to get psychologically profiled

"At first I thought you were just a narcissist but now I see you're just a Insecure man who placed his value on his looks and how people perceive him-"

" You can't seem to handle any type of bad press about you-"

"Oh? Did you make yourself look bad then blame it on someone else because they just wanted to do what they please? Oh boo hoo!"

You could end this man's career with a single word

But, if you're 'no shit' attitude is targeted to someone else? He's all over it

Will sigh dreamily and watch you chew Someone out

Unless you get super roasty and rude - he encourages you to talk to him with an attitude

"You're so hot when you talk like that~"

Knows you aren't all sass, he definitely enjoys your more softer side

Will invite you to a sleep over so you two can gossip and rant over a bottle of wine and do a mini spar

Beezlebub:

What prompted you to be this sassy? He's baby!

I mean, he did throw a fit when you ate his custard and destroyed your room

Sure, constant hunger is painful but he can survive without one custard

Yeah- he can be up for roasting and being chased out

"You've told me you literally want to eat me! How is that comforting?! You're hunger tantrums are already bad enough but now I know I could be on the menu?"

"No thanks! Do the hokey pokey and turn your goofy ass around!"

Has a habit of being your stool, he doesn't mind really, finds it pretty adorable actually

You're so small compared to demons so when a gym jock is being rude about you or Beel

You just snap your fingers and he'll sit down, hunch over and put his hands over his head

You'll just step on his palms (you take off your shoes angrily whilst telling the jock demon to not move an inch) and just go off

He understands where alot of your cusses come from, he agrees with you and feels guilty on his behaviour

Really likes it when you stand up for him; normally no one does that because he's such a big guy

Belphie does it but things can be abit disheartening when your twin Is the only one rushing to help you

Belphegor:

You know what? Understandable, please, fire away

Just keep making jokes and references to all the bad things he's done

He needs to be put in his place

The dude has literally killed you! If you weren't going to give him an earful when you recovered then what was the point?!

This man is one of many bastards in this school

Either watches you go off on people or sleeps mid arguement to stop hearing you call him out

"I'm innocent, I haven't done a single thing wrong in my life."

"wELL-"

He will always respect you for looking out for his twin, when he can't do anything he always looks to you to step in

Has held things out of your reach just to watch you get mad

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

You've chosen a fate worse than death at the cost of sassing a pure man

He gets upset but is very understanding, it's his companions who will handle your fate

I honestly, CANNOT, think of a reason you'd want to be sassy or rude to him

If it's just in general and not meant to offend him; he thinks it's very attractive

You've got a silver tongue and able to make a comment without much thought

Very impressive

His type is Lucifer very simple

You'd call him out for letting dangerous behaviour happen at the school and putting loads of faith into Lucifer

Perhaps point out how reckless inviting humans to a demon realm - who could easily be killed if they don't have an escort with them at all times

But other than that? He's safe

Barbatos:

He is your executioner

He can handle a jab

But he will remind you he was the one who saved you if you get too out spoken with him

that only gets him more cussed out though

"So you're aware of pretty much every event that happens, Right?"

"You could say that."

"Then shouldn't you use those abilities to then help anyone and stop all sorts of tragedies?"

"My Lord has stopped me from using my powers freely."

OKAY THAT'S SOMETHING YOU CAN CUSS DIA OUT ON

In general, you just make comments about how vague he is

He's too mysterious that it's just ridiculous

You want to get to know him but he just gives you that smug look and amused laughter

Solomon:

Can you really be blamed for being Sus of him?

He's so suspicious, for what?! For what reason?!

He doesn't like being called old? Depending how disrepectful you wanna be, you like to use the nickname "Grandpa Solo"

"I'm surprised you aren't actually some evil Wizard trying to get the brothers pacts so you can be the most powerful human alive and take over the Devildom."

"Who says I'm not?"

He's witty and smug

You're sassy and explosive

You're a duo that should be feared

The two powerful humans banding together? I'm sure there's a website on the two of you with theories of your evil plans

Simeon:

Finds your attitude delightful!

Didn't want his kindness to annoy you but it did, sometimes it is a crime to be Too nice

His favoured company are all sassy bastards so it only makes sense he likes you very much

"You gave them bangles that made them into SAINTS! that's fucking weird! And you had them turn into angels despite the fact they have truama from heaven!"

as mischievous as Simeon can be

His angelic nature really does pop out alot

"aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you want to go ape-shit?"

"Of course not, there's no need but thank you for worrying about me, I know I can seem force and strange to you but I really do enjoy being kind to others."

"disgusting."

Almost fought him during the TSL event; you didn't expect him to do a 360 and become super strict

Despite your hard shell you care alot about the people you're close with and can't stand to see them upset

Luke:

It appears you're trying to throw hands with a 10 year old

He does seem demonphobic

Why are you always denying your true feeling??!! Just admit you like demons!

You try not to swear and be outwardly rude Infront of him

But sometimes this little boy really tests your patience

"Okay species-ist."

Is your main response when he's being a tsundere

He's the one who's the safest from your attitude

[peaky-yamyam]

Big Move

(Image credit)

Can I request an imagine where you're a Shelby younger than John older than Finn, and you run away from all the shit Tommy puts everyone through and eventually they find you as a flapper girl in sabinis clubs and get really angry and try force you to come home or something?? 

Big Move | Thirteen Years | The Beach 

“Tommy, you’re not listening to me!” I scream, hurling the cigarette Tommy’s offered me back at him.

“I'm trying,” he replies, voice flat and expression disinterested.

“No, you're not. You don't give a shit about anyone in this family any more, all you can think about is money and when you're next going to get some!”

“That isn't true. You know that family is my strength.”

His palms are flat against his desk and I know despite his calm tone and blank expression, there's an anger bubbling beneath the surface.

“Of course, yeah, of course family is your strength in the sense that there's always someone else to take the fall for you. Good job there's so fucking many of us isn't it?” I spit back.

“What do you want from me, ey? What. Do. You. Want?” he answers, a slight rise to his voice that warns of his temper breaking.

I keep going though.

“To stop putting everyone through so much shit. To think about something other than money and schemes. To just, I don't know Tommy! Just be a decent person for a change!”

He shoots up from his chair and, although I know Tommy would never hurt me, I'm glad there’s a heavy desk between us.

“This is who I fucking am now, I see you're not complaining about all the nice shit you get out of all this!”

He waves around the room to demonstrate his point before slamming his hands back on the desk. I don't think Tommy has ever been this angry at me before, even when I used to ‘sneak’ out to purposely get a reaction from him, and it takes a lot, but I hold my blank expression, perfected from years of watching the master.

“So what do you fucking want?” he asks again. “Because you can either accept this or leave.”

I scoff and push myself from my chair, grabbing my bag on the way out.

“Where are you going?” Tommy sighs, and when I turn round he's massaging the bridge of his nose.

“Leaving.”

He sighs and I can tell with the little twitches of his mouth that he's trying desperately to keep from shouting again.

“Where are you leaving to?” he says, voice straining to keep calm.

“Fuck knows, and honestly I wouldn't tell you if I knew. Just leave me alone Tommy, I'm done with this, with this family, with all of it. I'll let you know I'm safe and then I want nothing else to do with you.”

He rubs a finger across his lips, then nods and gestures for me to leave.

I knew before I’d left the house that I’d head to London; Ada had made a nice life for herself down there and with the few hundred pound I’d managed to cram into a suitcase i was confident I could do the same.

It doesn’t take me long to find a flat and on my first night in my very own place, my neighbour pops round with a basket of suck and cakes.

“Welcome to the building!” she almost sings, thrusting the basket out to me.

“Thank you,” I reply riffling through the various pastries, “this is really lovely.”

“Jane,” she introduces holding her hand out for me to shake.

I introduce myself, conveniently omitting my last name and invite Jane in, she accepts and we spend the evening talking and laughing. It’s nice, easy despite the few blips I have regarding my past and family - but I just try to keep things vague; wanting a new start after a family fall out, I just ‘forget’ to say that my family are the Shelby’s.

“You got a job lined up?” Jane asks, finishing her wine in a big swig.

“Umm, well. No… Didn’t think that far ahead did I?” I laugh, emptying my glass as well.

“Come to my gaff tomorrow, they’ll snap up a pretty girl like you no worries.”

“I’m not whoring!”

“That’s not what I do! Fucks sake!” she replies, swatting at my arm. “It’s a club. Really modern, you know? You’ve got exactly the right look and attitude, the bosses’ll lap you up.”

“And they’re hiring?” I ask, refilling both our glasses.

“Not officially, but they’re always looking for girls to work the bar, hand out drinks and the like. Trust me you’ll have the job the second you step foot through the door,” Jane explains.

“Well, sounds good to me… To new starts,” I toast, clinking my glass against hers.

Jane was right - I’m pretty much handed a uniform as I walk in, nobody caring to check any kind of papers or ask for references - and the job is easy with good pay. In fact, the first few weeks are really very enjoyable.

That is until the boss walks in.

It’s relatively quiet when he arrives, the night only just beginning, and I’m busying myself sorting glasses and trays for the inevitable rush later on.

“Evening Mr Sabini,” Jane calls out as a man in a sharp suit and hat walks through the door.

I whip round at the name and inadvertently catch his eye.

“Evening Miss Pennyfeather. Who’s this?” he says, never once breaking eye contact with me. I swallow the thick lump in my throat and hold my hand out to him.

“Miss Shepard, nice to meet you Mr Sabini,” I say smiling as sweetly as I can to disguise the panic racing through my head. Out of all the clubs in London, how the fuck had I managed to get a job in one of the only ones I needed desperately to avoid.

“A Brummie ey? You ‘eard of them Shelby’s?” he asks, holding my hand for a little longer than feels natural.

“Mmm, yeah. I mean everyone’s heard of them up my way,” I stammer, hoping that he puts my nerves down to meeting him.

“Fucking gypsy scum, good thing you got away from them,” he replies, dropping my hand and walking away.

I turn back to the glasses behind me, hoping to hide my glowing face from any prying questions from the other girls.

I try tirelessly to find a job somewhere else - doing anything else - but as it turns out people are reluctant to hire a girl with no official form of identification and a single reference from a gangster, so I’m forced to continue at the club.

Luckily Sabini seldom makes an appearance, and when he does, I’m conveniently busy with a menial job out back. I never fully relax, but after four months, the ruse of ‘Miss Shepard’ becomes second nature and I start to be able to picture a future untarnished by the Shelby’s.

That is until a group of Birmingham lads stumble in one night just before the doors close.

I spot him straight away, unmissable with his garish behaviour and loud chants; Derick Young, a lad born on the same day as me, two doors down, who was, at many points throughout my life, closer to me than my own family.

He spots me too…

“Hey! It’s Little Princess Shelby!” he shouts, pointing at me.

I feel a mass of eyes turn to me and the air seems to be sucked from the entire club. In a blur, I rush towards him hoping at the very least to be able to stop him saying anything else incriminating. But before I make it, one of his mates asks him to clarify and the damning words “Tommy Shelby’s little sister,” leave Derick’s mouth.

It seems like mere seconds before Sabini has my arm in a vice lock and is spinning me towards him.

“That true?” he asks, “Are you Thomas Fucking Shelby’s sister?”

I debate denying it, but I know with the stark resemblance to Tommy he’ll never believe me. In fact I wonder now why he hasn’t considered it before.

“I don’t have anything to do with them I swear to God. I haven’t even spoken to them in months, I don’t have anything to do with the business either, I promise,” I babble, opting to beg for forgiveness.

Sabini’s hand tightens around my arm and I yelp as his nails form welts in my skin. He backs me against a wall and chaos seems to descend behind him, shouts and scuffles engulfing the entire room. Sabini doesn’t say anything though, just stares deep into my eyes and I know he’s debating the backlash of doing any harm to me. There’s a rage in his eyes though and the intense grip on my arm does nothing to calm my worries.

Just when I’m ready to accept my fate, a swift blow to the head takes Sabini by surprise, knocking him away from me and instantly the club submerges into bedlam; punches and kicks are being thrown all over the place, blood sprays across the walls and floor, and I spot my chance to run for the door.

“Let her go!” I hear Sabini shout, “we don’t want another war with the fucking gypsies!”

Whoever he’s shouting to doesn’t listen though and I’m hit in the side of the face with what I’m pretty sure is the butt of a pistol. I swing around before I have time to fully register what’s happened though and react on instinct, landing a fist against the perpetrator’s nose, he backs off only to be replaced by more men and women, fists and feet flying in all directions until I’m grabbed by the arm again and yanked through the front door and onto the street.

The sudden change of scenery startles me and I hurry to scramble from where I’ve fallen onto the cobbled road.

“Calm down Miss Shelby. We’re with Mr Solomons,” the man in front of me says. His voice is calm and he takes a handkerchief from pocket to wipe the blood from his knuckles.

“Is that supposed to mean something to me?” I mumble, spitting out the blood that's rapidly filling my mouth.

“Yes. It should mean that you trust us. Can you walk?”

“Yes I can walk. It's just my face that got fucking smashed in!”

“Then let's go,” he orders, gesturing down the street.

“You said we, where are the others?” I ask, adrenaline numbing the pain on the right side of my face.

“Inside sorting that shit out, now move,” he says again.

His voice is still so calm and collected, his clothes still so neat and his expression so bored, that I don't doubt he’s telling the truth. But for some reason I can't bring my feet to follow him. He notices my apprehension and expands.

“Mr Solomons is Alfie Solomons, sometimes calls himself the Wandering Jew.” I recognise that name. “So… move. Hey, we might even be able to get your tooth back in your skull if you get a wriggle on.”  

It's only when he tosses it towards me that I even realise it's been knocked out, but when I run my tongue along my gums I feel the distinct gap where it's come from.

“Yeah, that's really going to hurt in the morning love. Gave pretty good back though considering...”

“Thanks,” I mumble, finally relenting and following him down the dark road, dropping the bloody tooth to the ground.

I'm taken to Alfie’s ‘bakery’ with the strict instruction that should anyone ask, I was never here and have no recollection of the place. By this point I'm too tired and sore to give a shit about where I am, so I just nod along in agreement as I'm walked through the quiet warehouse. When we reach a closed door, the man knocks once before pushing me through into, what I assume, must be Alfie’s office.

“Ahh! Miss Shelby! Nice to finally meet you… Gotta say, not entirely the situation I thought we’d find ourselves first acquainted under but, you know, nevertheless, pleasure. Come in, come in, take a seat… You lost a tooth?” Alfie asks as he notices me fiddling in my mouth. “Here, shove this your gob, stick it in that nice hole in your gum,” he says, thrusting a small scrap of cloth over the table towards me.

I've only ever seen Alfie briefly and only the one time, but like Tommy, when he asks you to do something - you do it. So I roll the cloth up, despite wanting more than anything to ask how he knows, and follow his instructions, wincing as it hits the delicate skin.

“Fanks,” I mumble, voice muffled by the cloth. “‘Ow dya oow I wa’ eya?”

“How'd I know you was here? Well, see love I know everything about this city don't I know? Especially everything to do with pretty girls who run off with a few bob from their family who just so happen to be friends of mine.”

“‘Ommy…”

“Tommy, yes love. Was on the blower as soon as you got here didn't he? Told me to keep a look out, make sure you weren't getting in no trouble. Well, you fucked that right up didn't you? Right up.”

I pull the rag from my mouth so I can speak clearly.

“I didn't do anything! Fucking gobby lads who can't keep their mouths shut is what fucked it up. I was doing fine.”

I can feel the blood trickling out the corner of my mouth again so I shove the cloth back in and flop back in the chair.

“Yeah, yeah you were doing fine, yeah, just fine in Sabinis club… Fucking fine, don't make me laugh, playing with fire was what you were doing love. Poking the bear, weren't you!”

We sit in silence for a while as he let's his statement sink in and I realise just how badly things could have gone tonight. I can feel the blood beginning to slow so I take to rag from my mouth.

“Things got out of hand,” I mumble.

“I'd say they did yeah. Things got very out of hand, didn't they? Lucky is what you are. Very lucky indeed. Do you know how difficult it is to track down a woman you know next to nothing about, who's using a fake name and could be, well, who could be fucking anywhere?”

“I thought you knew everything about this city?’ I say, forgetting that I'm not talking to Tommy or Arthur, or even John here - people who despite what I say have to look after me - but a strange gangster who, as far as I was aware, has no loyalties to our family whatsoever.

“I was being hyperbolic wasn't I? Going for the dramatics of the statement. Point is, we only found you two days ago. Figured you didn't know who you was working for, but you did didn't you? Knew exactly who was paying your wage, and you fucking stayed there!” He smiles and lounges back in his seat. “Fucking death wish you've got ain't ya? Anyway, your brother’s on his way,” he concludes, throwing his feet onto the desk and positioning his glasses on the bridge of nose as he rifles casually through some papers.

“He’s fucking what!” I shout, forgetting myself as I slam my hands against his desk and lean towards him. “I don't want him to know anything about me!”

Alfie drops the papers and I know I've made a big mistake.

“Sit down!” he commands, eyes wide and I retreat back to my chair, glad actually to be seated as my head begins to swim. “They're coming because you got yourself beat up. I mean I phoned him beforehand because I had a feeling this would be the result of your little endeavour-”

“Because you know everything,” I interrupt, pressing my cold hand against my aching face in a futile attempt to soothe it.

“Because I fucking know everything, yeah. Now sit there quietly like a good girl and wait for your brother to arrive. Ollie, go and get the lass something cold for her face yeah?”

We sit in silence for nearly an hour, me dozing as much as possible on the stiff backed chair, wet flannel, now lukewarm, still pressed against my cheek, until Alfie throws a book across the desk at me.

“To entertain yourself,” he explains.

“Pride and Prejudice?” I say, turning it over in my hands.

“Yeah,” is all Alfie answers before returning to his work.

“It's pretty well read…” I mumble, noting the dog eared pages.

“Yeah well it was my mum's favourite weren't it?”

“You ever read it?”

Alfie drops his pencil and props his chin on his hand.

“Yeah, I’ve read it. Read it a few times.”

I rifle the pages and settle on the opening, “so… are you a Mr Darcy or a Mr Wickham?”

He scratches at the beard surrounding the corners of his mouth and ponders for a second before replying.

“Curious that those are the only choices you’re offering... Very curious…”

“How so?”

“Very telling about the inner workings of your mind, innit? That them are the only two you consider noteworthy…” He picks his pencil back up and turns his attention back to his work, keeping his eyes down as he mumbles, “Lydia.”

I snort at the accusation, but as I consider the similarities between myself and the famously prideful, stubborn and reckless character I decide not to argue, and turn my own attentions to the book. 

I actually manage to get a good way through before I hear familiar voices outside the office.

“Looks like the cavalry's finally arrived,” Alfie states, shoving the stack of papers into his draw and pushing himself from his seat. “Tommy!” he greets, arms wide as my brother storms through the door, closely followed by Arthur and John.

“Oh Christ, was this really necessary?” I spit, gesturing to the three of them.

“What the fuck do you think?” John and Arthur both shout back, but it’s John who pushes himself past Tommy so he’s inches from me.

John and I have always clashed, I know he’s only being protective of me but he reacts in a way that never fails to wind me up, and tonight is no exception.

“Why are you always so dramatic? I’m fine! All this would have been sorted hours ago if you hadn’t insisted on coming down here!”

“Fine? Look at the state of you!” John bellows, pointing a finger at the bruise I know has bloomed across the side of my face.

“Oh yeah, because no-one else in our family has ever gotten into a fight. Tommy’s nearly died twice that I fucking know of! What are you all here for? What could possibly have merited the three of you tear-arsing down here?”

“You got a job at one of the Italians clubs, you can’t be trusted!” John shouts, and I notice Tommy place a hand on Arthur’s chest to stop him getting involved.

“I didn’t do it on purpose John, I didn’t know who ran the place till I’d been there a few weeks, and the mess you’ve made down here meant people aren’t jumping at the chance to hire a Shelby anywhere else. What did you want me to do?”

John scoffs, “What about the money you stole from us, ey? What happened to that?”

“I umm… I spent it all,” I mumble, the admission that I’d blown through the average person's annual wage in a couple of months knocking the wind from my sails, and I’m sure I hear Alfie cough “Lydia,” under his breath.

I flop back on the chair, the sudden movement after hours being sat still highlighting pains I didn’t even realise I’d had until now.

“So what now? You all going to drag me back to Birmingham?” I mutter.

“Yes-”

“No,” Tommy and John say at the same time.

At the realisation that his brother isn’t backing him up, John stands down slightly.

“What are you on about Tom? I thought that was the whole idea of us coming down?”

“No… Alfie, is everything taken care of?” Tommy says.

“Yeah… yeah, should be by now.”

“You’re still alright in your flat?” Tommy asks me and I nod. “And you want to stay here?”

I nod again.

“Then that’s settled. Boys, lets go.”

They all turn to leave, Arthur and John looking as dumbfounded as I am, but I call them back before they go anywhere.

“What the fuck Tommy?” is all I can say.

“Well, you want to live in London, that’s your choice isn’t it.”

“What am I going to do for money? You’ve burnt my workplace to the ground!”

“If I can just interrupt-” Alfie says, “we ain’t burnt it to the ground, just to clarify. But yeah, you don’t want to be going back there, I’d go so far as to say can’t… So… to answer your question, you can work here, ain’t that right Tommy?” he adds, glancing at Tommy who nods.

“Great…” I mutter.

“Look, you can stop here and work for Solomons, or you can come back to Birmingham. But the business hasn’t changed and neither have I. Your fucking choice,” Tommy says, clearly aggravated that I’m not over the moon at his suggestion.

“I’ll stay here.”

“Good… and you’ll pick up the fucking phone once in awhile, you understand? Or we will be dragging you back to Birmingham, end of story.”

“And get to the doctors first thing, yeah?” Arthur adds.

“Fine,” I agree, and they turn to leave again, but although never seeing them again is what I thought I wanted, I can’t bare to watch the three of them leave. “Umm, you can… you can stop at mine if you like? Just for tonight, I’ve got room…” I call out, already out my chair in case I have to chase them.

But Tommy turns back with a small smile on his face before I get the chance.

“Okay… The car’s out the front,” he says, gesturing for me to join them.

John’s face softens and I’m sure by the time we make it outside he’ll be laughing and joking with me as if nothing’s happened, and as I get close enough Arthur wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to him.

“We’ve missed you, you know?” he whispers, pressing a kiss against my temple.

“Missed you too,” I reply, smiling despite the throbbing pain that’s radiating through my face and I lean into him as we walk back through the warehouse.

[thefaestolemyname]

Part 2/?

iNaturalist Adventures at the Pinery!

Purple Sandgrass (Triplasis purpurea)?

Not completely sure about the identity of this one. In-person the red of the lower stem is quite striking. You would think the distinctive features of these grass-like plants would make them easy to identify but I guess not? I'm sure they're not the same species as the last sedge though because they're not hairy at the bottom and the leaves come off of the stem periodically instead of all at once at the base. Never before did I realize how mystifying grass could be.

Northern Red Oak (Quercus rubra)

I had a hard time distinguishing this bad-boy from a Black Oak. Oaks are probably the most common tree at the pinery, and are especially prominent at the transition zone from the dunes to the forest, which makes sense considering it's called "Oak Savannah". There is considerable variation in leaf shape, so I thought it was going to be easy to differentiate, but I was absolutely horrified by the variation in leaf shape among individuals of the same species! There's something very familiar and comforting about the leaf litter of oaks for me, however. It's nostalgic.

Hairy Puccoon (Lithospermum caroliniense)

The most often-seen flower at the Pinery during this year's stay. Were he anthropomorphized, I imagine him a portly and kind baker. Such gentle flowers! They do not match the leaves in the slightest. According to the Ontario Natural Heritage Information Centre, he is of vulnerable status in Ontario, though secure in parts of the US. I'll admit I'm not a huge fan of his shade of yellow, but he certainly brightens up the place. I am, though, a huge fan of the ease at which he may be identified! Finally some certainty.

Starry False Solomon's Seal (Maianthemum stellatum)

A familiar Face! I identified him first at a conservation area near where I lived, but he popped out at me because I recognised him from the Pinery. These guys contribute massively to the vibes of the Pinery. Oaks, Juniper, Fragrant Sumac, Sedges, and these guys right here. He's so full of personality, I love him! Apparently the reason he's got such a metal name is that he's closely related to regular False Solomon's Seal, which is a lookalike to Solomon's seal, which got it's metal as heck name because

"The rootstalk, or rhizome, of the Solomon's Seals is jointed; the leaf stalk breaks away from it, leaving a distinctive scar said to resemble the official seal of King Solomon. Indians and colonists used the starchy rhizomes as food" - The Audubon Society field guide to North American wildfloers, eastern region by Niering, William A, linked below (I love the Internet Archive)

I like to think that each of them, as the legendary seals of King Solomon, imprison a demon.

Stiletto Fly (Family Therevidae)

I thought this little guy was a Three Banded Robber Fly but some dude re-ID-ed him as a Stiletto Fly and I think he's right.

"The larvae, like those of other Asiloidea, have an entomophagous diet and they live as predators ... The observation of the behaviour of known forms highlights voracious feeding and agile movements. When exposed to light, the larvae of the Therevidae dig back into the substrate with rapid movements" and "Adults feed mainly on nectar, honeydew, and pollen" - Taken from an uncited paragraph on Wikipedia, reliability disputable.

Ebony Sedge, (Carex eburnea)

My favourite grass! He looks so soft and inviting! Of course Sedges aren't technically grass, but c'mon, that's grass. A warm shade of green without reaching the yellowy shades of parched and dying lawns. I can't find much information on him for fun facts, but he is hands-down the friendliest-looking grass I have ever met.

Common Snowberry (Symphoricarpos albus)

A less-often seen plant at the Pinery, it took me a while to ID her, but once I did I felt rather stupid, as I believe there was a Snowberry bush in my backyard back in my hometown. The berries, though pretty, are said to be poisonous to humans. Other mammals, including grizzly bears and sheep, apparently have no problem with it.

Taken from "Major indicator shrubs and herbs on national forests of western Oregon and southwestern Washington" by Robin D. Lesher, Richard H. McClure, jr. 

So some say poisonous some say not poisonous, personally I'm going on the safe side.

Rough-stalked Feather-moss (Brachythecium rutabulum) ?

There are so many mosses that look so much alike, this is just my best guess.

"This, and other large common Brachythecium species, is usually a robust species. Its branching is irregular and variable, and this is often what leads to field misidentification. Its habitat preferences are not helpful either, as it grows in many different kinds of habitat. However, it is most at home in the lowlands and prefers quite enriched places, such as woodlands, lawns and hedge bases next to intensively managed arable fields. You are not likely to encounter it in upland areas much." - Taken from the British Bryological Society's webpage on the species.

Part 1/?

iNaturalist adventures at the Pinery!

First observation was a bunch of Sand Cherries (Prunus Pumila) in the dunes

Hauntingly beautiful blossoms.

A Sand Cherry was one of the 4 native plants I bought and planted recently. Mine is having a hard time right now, and it was so lovely seeing a wild one flourishing, and thinking about what that would look like in my garden.

Next, Field Sagewort (Artemisia campestris)

According to Wikipedia there are 10 known subspecies but I wouldn't even know where to begin figuring out which one this guy is. However, one of the last names of the researchers who discovered the subspecies glutinosa is "Gay" and I think that's notable.

Fragrant Sumac (Rhus aromatica)

She is literally everywhere at the Pinery, ringing most campsites and hanging around much of the trails. I was told she was poison ivy growing up, and only learned this year - taking this photo - that she's harmless. She does look quite similar to Poison Ivy, but you can tell she's not by the bottom of the middle leaf in each trio, in addition to size of leaf in adult plants, and how tall she can get (Over six feet). This is great news for me, because it means poison ivy is that much less prevalent, that much less tall, and the world is that much less scary of a place. Unrelated, for being named "fragrant" sumac, I've never detected a fragrance around her. Perhaps leaves must be crushed, or wood burned?

Choke Cherry (Prunus virginiana)

Another native cherry? In Canada? Another native cherry. In Canada. Her cherries are smaller than Sand Cherry's though, despite Chokecherry being a far larger plant. These photos are of two separate groups of Chokecherry, and I totally thought they were different species! I'm still half expecting somebody to re-ID one of them as something different, because the second one's leaves were all smaller and curved, while the first one's leaves were all larger and flat. They did live in vastly different environmental conditions though, so that probably accounts for it.

Eastern Redcedar (Juniperus virginiana)

Beautiful tree, and when those pastel berries come out like flowers, it is a grand sight to behold indeed. I just love the shade of green on these guys, and it goes so well with the shade of grey that their bark is. I thought they were a juniper though, but they're called a cedar, but their scientific name has "juniper" in it? I'm really confused. These guys were by far one of the most common trees to meet there.

Riverbank Grape (Vitis riparia)

I don't know about where y'all live, but in my province, this fella is in parks, backyards, gardens, everywhere. I've always been told they were "Wild Grapes", so its nice to have a little more detail. I hear that their grapes do the job, but that foreign grape species give bigger, sweeter grapes that make better wine. I've never tried their grapes myself, but they usually have little sprouts that you can chew on, and those taste pretty good.

Some sort of Sedge?

Did not match well any of iNaturalist's suggestions. They are a mystery to me. I can only pray that one day they will reveal their secrets to me. Key characteristics are that the leaves all start from the bottom instead of periodically branching off of a stem, long hairs at the base but not anywhere else, and a faint purple stripe on each leaf.