#it's due on the 1st and i'm applying to freelancer & upwork jobs like a madwoman like i've been working on stuff all day everyday
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tfw i have $948cad and rent is $980 AND MY PLACE IS A WRECK
#lay text#i'm okay i'm fine i'm chill i'm SO RELAXED#it's due on the 1st and i'm applying to freelancer & upwork jobs like a madwoman like i've been working on stuff all day everyday#and trying to sell so much stuff on facebook#including things i rly like but i just have to :']#c'est la vie!!!!!!!!!!!!! capitalism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#disability aid DOES NOT GIVE ME NEARLY ENOUGH#crying wailing slamming my head on my pillow etc etc#i really really hope things work out#i really hope my stupid flaky client will ACTUALLY PAY ME FOR THE WORK I DID AGES AGO............#she was on holidays and i bet you a billion dollars she'll blame it on her dumb client again. i mean i still rly like this woman#and she pays pretty decently-ish#but holy shit#earlier i got super discouraged and felt so crushed#but at least i did a bunch of shit today and i have to let myself feel proud of that much at least. it's so much work. it never ends#all i want to do is focus on my writing/youtube/activism stuff#but i have to keep doing dumb shit i don't care about#and my apartment is a mess :((#i spent all day working on marketing my services on freelancing sites etc and i'm so drained but i have to vaccuum and do my dumb dishes#and i wanna game w my friends later but my brain is fried#january will most likely be rly rough hahaaaa i guess i'll dig myself deeper into credit card debt to pay rent and after that uh ???????#who knows#just keep working hard begging ppl to hire me#and um. pray to the goddess or smth. i did not expect so many extra costs in december and i kinda did this to myself#i need to not bully myself too much ugh#i want to work on the lay & the gyns projects too#but idk how much time i'll be able to dedicate#it's not like i'm not trying hard or working hard to benefit society or whatever!!!!! i spent all my time focusing on activism & writing et#but somehow it's just considered not enough#i'm rly hopeful i can get a grant for the lay & the gyns business since we'll do marketing for sapphic businesses/freelancers
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