#it's celery with peanut butter and raisins on it

[ded-inside-anonymous]

I'm mad at Amaryllis 'flowers'

LOOK AT THIS--

THIS IS CLEARLY CELERY DISGUISING ITSELF AS A FLOWER!

So naturally I Google to see if the stalk is edible because look at the crunchy, water filled stalk THAT IS 100% JUST CELERY COSPLAYING AS A LILY

THE WHOLE THING IS POISONOUS

I SWEAR THIS WAS WRITTEN BY THE AMARYLLIS 'FLOWER' AS A COVER FOR IT BEING FREAKING CELERY!

Unfortunately I have no proof this is not written by scientists so I now have to debate risking death to find out what the forbidden celery tastes like

I'm very conflicted, my friends

Very conflicted

[phoenixyfriend]

Ants on a Log: Cut celery sticks into several-inch pieces. Fill with peanut butter. Arrange raisins on top to look like ants marching down a log. You can leave the celery sticks whole if you want, and the amount of peanut butter is up to you.

This is traditionally a snack for children, which is why the name is a little whimsical; it encourages them to eat a healthy snack!

(Image Source)

[sbnkalny]

You eat celery sticks With peanut butter & raisins and call me toast

[ghostlynimbus]

absolutely devouring foods you were denied as a kid feels so good actually

[the-sloth-king]

we must unite against the common enemy: celery

trueeee what is she good for for real

[averytiredbitch]

🥺💜

[dilfy-shitposts]

ants on a log is a hotdog

[sinhasfluffyheadfur]

I think everyone should look at my autistic son immediately

[gloombog]

i'm convinced that whoever came up with ants on a log was just looking for a creative way to force children to eat weird food combinations disguised as a fun snack. like did anyone actually enjoy eating that shit. peanut butter with raisins seems inoffensive enough those flavors work well together but why would you introduce celery into the mix. evil

[doofnoof]

Blue Cheese ♥️, Canned Tuna 💚 Chicken 💚 Coffee Cooked Fish 💚 Crab 💚 Grapes 💚 Ketchup 💚 Mayonnaise 💚 Mustard 💚 Nutella spread 💚 Oysters 💚 Peanut Butter 💚, Raw Fish 💛, Shrimp 💚, Snails (Escargot)♥️, Sourdough Bread 💛, Soy Sauce 💚 Tea 💚 Vinegar 💚, Carrots 💛 Tomatoes 💛, Cucumbers ♥️, Cabbage 💛,

Cauliflower 💚 Asparagus Beef Turkey pork Liver, Brussel Sprouts, Dark Chocolate Garlic, Lettuce, Broccoli, Zucchini,

Coconut, Onions, White Chocolate, Tofu, Avocado, Oranges, Grapefruit, Raisins, Strawberries, Apples, Wheat Bread, Celery,

Mushrooms, Eggplant, Beets, Watermelon, Cottage Cheese, Pickles, Peas, Pineapple, Bananas, Milk, Olives,

Yogurt, Green Beans, Lima Beans, Quinoa, Shrimp, Honey

Picky Eater Disliked Food Bracket

I saw this image going around and decided to open this blog I'd make polls about it!

I'm going to start with this list (minus ranch dressing, because it's pretty much unknown outside the USA), but I'm accepting submissions for more. The winner of each poll will be the most disliked food item.

Current list of contestants: Blue Cheese, Canned Tuna, Chicken, Coffee, Cooked Fish, Crab, Grapes, Ketchup, Mayonnaise, Mustard, Nutella spread, Oysters, Peanut Butter, Raw Fish, Shrimp, Snails (Escargot), Sourdough Bread, Soy Sauce, Tea, Vinegar, Carrots, Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Cabbage, Cauliflower, Asparagus, Beef, Turkey, pork, Liver, Brussel Sprouts, Dark Chocolate, Garlic, Lettuce, Broccoli, Zucchini, Coconut, Onions, White Chocolate, Tofu, Avocado, Oranges, Grapefruit, Raisins, Strawberries, Apples, Wheat Bread, Celery, Mushrooms, Eggplant, Beets, Watermelon, Cottage Cheese, Pickles, Peas, Pineapple, Bananas, Milk, Olives, Yogurt, Green Beans, Lima Beans, Quinoa, Shrimp, Honey

[phoenixyfriend]

I am vaguely offended [joking] about the number of people declaring my favorite snack disgusting in this poll.

It's a good snack! You get a crisp, clear, refreshing taste that's sometimes a little bitter, smoothed out and given weight with a savory nut butter that can combat that occasional bitterness, and then give it a little twist of sweetness with the raisins. It's so good!

Don't knock it 'til you've tried it!

(Unless you're allergic. Then don't try it. Do not hospitalize yourself for a snack.)

(You are exempt if you viciously hate one of the component parts, but if you're neutral to all of them then please try it. I don't even like celery that much on its own, but it is so good with peanut butter and raisins, give it a shot.)

[buckysgrace]

Not sure if you’re still taking requests or if fluff is okay but I would love a little piece where Billy is a daddy and his little daughter is painting his nails and maybe the mother of the little girl walks in and giggles because she’s remembering tough guy billy from high school and she’s watching him be so sweet to their daughter. Hopefully that makes sense

Both are definitely okay!! Hope you enjoy! <3

You balanced the sippy cup in one hand, using the other to balance a plate full of snacks on the other. Maisie liked to assemble her own ants on a log, although she didn't like to call it that. She always said that it would be too weird to eat ants, so she called them celery boats instead.

A plastic spoon rested in the glob of peanut butter, next to two celery sticks and a small assortment of raisins and chocolate chips. Then you had cut up half an apple for her too, figuring she might want that too. Or perhaps it was because you had wanted the other half.

The door was still open as you approached, your feet stalling as a grin formed on your lips. Your four-year-old was still dressed the same, bright pink princess dress on with a crown thrown messily over her head. She was sat at her little tea table, rambling off about something as she messily dragged a little brush against her father's nails.

Billy was across from her, nodding along and gently asking her questions. His blond curls were pulled back with blue glittery barrettes. His eyelids were a bright pink, making you wince as you thought about how it was probably the same eyeshadow that had stained your lids for a few days. Oh well.

His glossy lips moved as he asked Maisie another question, laughing as she cooed and spit out her answer enthusiastically. She had an imagination, a rather large one.

The wife beater showing off his skull tattoo on his arm was the only resemblance to the boy you had once known in high school. The one that would crinkle his nose up at the sign of a mess and always had a strict routine on how he allowed himself to look. Which didn't align with this.

Fatherhood had softened him, trimmed his rough edges away and left him more vulnerable than you could ever imagine. His patience had flourished, his tongue had dulled in the way his fathers never had. He was so sweet to your baby girl.

"You both look pretty," You grinned as you approached, making their attention snap towards you. Red. Your daughter was painting your husband's nails red. Cute, "Here's your snacks." You hummed as you put it all down on the table, before you joined Billy on the floor.

"She said pink is my color." He snorted as he turned towards you, puckering his lips softly to show off the pink gloss on his lips. You giggled, looking at how it had slightly smeared up into his mustache.

"It really is," You agreed as you leaned over to kiss his cheek, laughing as he held up his messy nails, "Oh my. Maisie, you are quite the beautician." You replied with a nod of your head, watching the way her eyes sparkled in joy.

"Tank you," She replied sweetly as she smeared the peanut butter into one of the little celery logs, "Daddy needs a crown." She replied before she munched down on her food, making Billy chuckle as he turned towards you incredulously.

"His head might be too big," You teased as you adjusted the barrettes against Billy's loose curls, "Maybe we could make him a paper one." You suggested, enjoying the way he dramatically rolled his eyes and pulled a lazy grin to his lips once Maisie began to squeal about it. Nothing was uncool if it came from her.

[awritersbro]

oh that is gross

[maculategiraffe]

my sister had made the baby a snack of ants on a log (celery spread with peanut butter and decorated with raisins) and he was like "ba don like dat. ba need gummy bear." so I was like "buddy I bet gummy bears SEEM like what you need right now because when you're hungry it's because your body needs fuel. and the sugar in gummy bears is quick burning fuel that gives you a quick burst of energy. but the protein and iron in ants on a log is a slow burning fuel that gives you energy for longer!"

and he grinned and said "ba be truck. brrrrm brrrrm" and mimed driving past his mom with her plate of ants on a log and said "ba drive past ants on a log fuel station. ba drive towards gummy bear fuel station. brrrrm brrrrm" and mimed driving to the pantry where the gummy bears are kept

[casualsnickers]

Month of Emmet Quick Write #6

Prompt #6: Cooking

While preparing for an upcoming family dinner, Emmet has to put up with his brother's (innocent) antics while also preventing the house from being burned down. And he's supposed to be the kitchen-ignorant twin.

Read the whole thing below the cut.

“Elesa, taste test this please.” Emmet pushed over a steaming bowl of stew toward his friend, watching carefully as the woman drew up a spoonful of the rice and stew and blew on it.

               Her eyes immediately lit up and she swallowed. “That’s really good, Em! That’s a really huge improvement from the one you made last year! What’d you put in it?”

“Blaziken sauce, Garganacl salt, Bayleef leaves.” Emmet ticked off the various ingredients on his fingers, keeping himself preoccupied with the many pots and pans boiling on top of the stove. His extended family consisting of Drayden, Iris, Drayton and his parents, and a few other family members were coming over to have dinner- a usual family get-together that took place every late autumn. Emmet had taken charge this year and had prepared a lengthy list of recipes that would feed everybody while leaving plenty of leftovers to snack on for the week after. “A slow-cooked stew. A recipe that I stole. From the Internet. Uncle Drayden should like this one- he liked the other stew I came up with last year.”

“But didn’t that one have Basculin instead of Miltank?”

               Emmet grimaced. He remembered all too well the sudden issue of having the power go out in his house. All of the meat that he had purchased ahead of time- the expensive, hard to find meat that his uncle and his niece had a fondness for- had spoiled while he was working at the subway. He had had a few choice words for the power company after wasting a few thousand poké for nothing. “Yes, Elesa. I remember.” Emmet then turned. “Ingo, could you begin baking the cookies? The peanut butter, oatmeal raisin, and molasses ones that I prepared a few minutes ago?”

“Of course!” Ingo still hadn’t regained his hand-eye coordination when it came to cooking but he had been eager to help out ever since Emmet had gotten up early that morning to prepare the slow-cooked stew. He almost seemed to hum as he stumbled around the kitchen, delighted in being of use.

“Wait. Molasses cookies?” Elesa’s nose wrinkled and she stared incredulously at the much darker batch of covered cookie dough that Ingo pulled out. “I’m just gonna skip over the oatmeal raisins since I know your uncle is a weirdo like that. You guys eat syrup cookies?”

“I don’t,” Emmet replied, taking a break from the boiling ingredients to cut up a few carrots and celery, letting them slide into a pot bubbling with rich soup stock. “Ingo and Drayden like them for some reason.”

“They’re quite good!” Ingo retorted defensively. “Raisins are good for your health! Maybe you should stop excusing yourself by your lack of a sweet tooth and actually try them.”

“One of us has cavities and it’s not me,” Emmet replied just as quickly, dodging Ingo’s hand as his twin attempted to cuff him over the ear for his smart remark.

“They would taste like syrup, wouldn’t they?” Elesa reasoned dubiously. “Can I have one once they’re done baking? I actually really want to try one now that I think about it.”

“You’re both crazy. But. I will save you a cookie because you asked so nicely.” After a moment of hearing nothing, Emmet piped up again. “Ingo? The cookies?”

“Yes, of course.” Ingo donned a pair of oven mitts and carefully lifted two of the six trays over to the oven, his voice dropping off the closer he approached.

“Ingo?”

“He’s pondering the knobs,” Elesa snickered, sipping on a glass of sweet tea. “Go-Go, do you need a refresher for how ovens work?” she asked kindly. “I can help- “

“No, thank you. I haven’t entirely regressed from knowing how basic kitchen appliances work.” Ingo slowly opened the oven door, wincing. “That is quite hot.”

“That’s how ovens work,” Emmet teased.

“Right, right.” Ingo then paused for an incredibly long time.

“Go-go?”

“The temperature on the oven is too low.”

               Emmet blinked and then sighed. “No, it isn’t. It should be set to three hundred and fifty degrees. The temperature that I set it to fifteen minutes ago.”

“And that is too low,” Ingo retorted, as if Emmet had called him stupid to his face. He set the cookie trays on a nearby counter and removed his oven mitts, the oven beginning to beep as Ingo moved the temperature higher. “In order to bake them in a timely manner, the temperature should be higher. Much higher.”

               Elesa raised an eyebrow. “Ingo, that’s- hey wait- Ingo, that’s too high! Turn it back down! Em, stop him! He’s trying to bake the cookies at four hundred- no, wait, four hundred fifty? Ingo, stop!”

“But theoretically- “

“No,” Emmet responded tiredly, not even bothering to turn around. He was used to Ingo being overconfident in gauging his skills with operating small appliances. And then failing at whatever he was trying to do. “We are not cooking the cookies the Hisuian way.” The Hisuian way being, ‘mess around and find out what works best’.

“Should it not be possible?”

“You will burn the house down, Ingo.” Emmet pinched the bridge of his nose as he carefully took off the lid of a nearby pot, observing the contents before poking them with a fork. “Too rigid. Needs more time boiling. Turn the oven temperature back down to three hundred and seventy-five degrees and then leave the cookie trays in.”

“Are you quite certain I can’t evenly bake the pastries with a faster method?” Ingo asked incredulously. He was positioned near the oven, holding a baking sheet lined with peanut butter cookie mix and oatmeal raisin mix that Emmet had been preparing to bake. “At this rate, it will take forever to bake evenly. I don’t see the issue of turning up the heat. Would it not produce evenly baked cookies faster?”

“Ingo, my dearest brother. My beloved co-conductor. My twin cab,” Emmet drawled sickly-sweet, trying his best not to explode with laughter. “That is not how baking works. The cookies will come out raw. We will get sick. Our family will get sick. Follow the schedule.”

“Why?” Ingo’s question was genuine. Confused and indignant, but genuine. Ingo had always questioned why modern things worked the way they did; today would be no different.

               At the kitchen counter, Elesa just barely stifled her own rambunctious laughter, absently flipping through a magazine as she scratched her Emolga on the top of its head. “Ingo, do you know what salmonella is? Do you want to get sick from uncooked cookie dough? Would you like to experience food poisoning?”

               Ingo made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat. “No, thank you. Living in Hisui gave me plenty of first-person experience with food poisoning. I’d rather not.” He then sighed loudly. “Fine. I will follow the schedule.”

“Thank you,” Emmet replied back, letting that worry roll off of his shoulders.

               Elesa then shot Emmet a mischievous glance. “Reminds me of that age-old question from Spindlr.”

“Don’t say it,” Emmet warned, turning up the heat on the pot full of stew that he had been preparing since the day before. He knew well what post she was referring to, often using it against him when Emmet himself had started learning how to cook years prior. “You’ll only encourage him.”

“Encourage me to do what?”

               In a mocking tone, Elesa drawled, “So I can either bake these cookies at four hundred degrees for ten minutes or four thousand degrees for one minute.”

“Correct!” Ingo sounded off, his voice laced with angry relief as he opened the kitchen oven to slide in the rack of raw cookies. “The latter should be the correct method! Finally! Another person has seen to match my deductions!”

“Ingo, it’s a joke post! That’s not how you bake anything!” Elesa laughed, burying her face in her hands.

“Should I set the oven at a higher temperature then?”

“No!” Emmet yelled, his own shoulders shaking with laughter as he gestured for Haxorus to keep the oven shut while he wrapped up whatever he was doing by the stove. “Steel boils at close to five thousand degrees, Ingo.”

“That is ridiculous,” Ingo grumbled. He then brightened, his face suddenly rife with mischief. “I propose that I can bake these cookies at four million degrees for one second. Does that sound fair?”

“Ingo, you are going to burn this house down!” Elesa cried. “Modern ovens don’t even go that high! Just follow the instructions- “

               The sound of the oven door creaking open echoed throughout the kitchen. Ingo had already deposited all six baking sheets in the oven, reaching for Emmet’s Larvesta who had evolved into a Volcarona. “I am going to harness the power of the sun to bake these cookies then!” he announced in an all-too serious tone. Volcarona only gauged the size of the oven for a moment before eagerly crawling inside.

“Ingo- “