#it's been? almost 2 weeks since i was last at my doctor's office and was unable to see him

[risaonda]

I am so fucking angry. teehee

[consciouscarrot]

day 11 - medical kink/doctor x patient [r.lupin]

remus lupin x fem!reader

content warnings; dub/con, innocence, abuse of power (remus), so many pet names, vaginal fingering, p in v, basically ‘hysteria’, very unrealistic loss of virginity (next to no pain mentions, remus doesn’t go slow etc), r thinks she’s been wetting herself slightly but she’s just horny and wet lol, age gap (r is 18, remus’ age is undisclosed but he’s a licensed doctor)

notes; (unintentionally) the longest fic i’ve even written by far, oh my god my thumbs hurt. all likes, comments and reblogs much appreciated. as always mdni

part 2

kinktober/flufftober masterlist

—————

you’d been guided into the empty room at the doctors office by the bored receptionist, her muttering something about the doctor joining you soon, and to take a seat.

it had been a few minutes since then, you were sat carefully on one of the patients chairs, grasping nervously at the cross hanging between your breasts. the ticking of the clock only amplified your nerves, leg bouncing as you stared at the door, imaging all the ways this appointment could go wrong.

you jumped when the door opened, doctor lupin walked in, smiling widely as he shut and locked the door behind him.

“hello, it’s lovely to see you again, y/n,” he sat down at his chair, not taking his eyes off of you.

you nodded along, not trusting your voice just yet, nails now digging into your bare thighs, skirt shifting higher up your legs.

“now, i was told that you’d been having some female problems, could you tell me more about that?”

avoiding eye contact, you chewed on you lip before attempting to explain your embarrassing situation, “i- um, i’ve been having some- some weird feelings, y’know uh, down there,” you mumbled.

“okay, how long has this been going on for, hm?”

“a few weeks, maybe. it’s- it’s on and off though, not all the time,” what you refused to mention, was that whenever you were experiencing these feelings, was when you were thinking about your hot new doctor.

“yeah? so around the time that i saw you last? why didn’t you mention anything then, sweetheart? it seems to be bothering you an awful lot,”

oh my gosh, this was the most mortifying moment of your life. how on earth were you supposed to tell him that the weird sensations only started happening since you met him.

you’d had to change doctors after you moved house, still living at home with your parents, and had met dr lupin for a standard checkup. you’d instantly become a stuttering mess- much like you were now- at how attractive he was.

you weren’t sure how to answer his question, cheeks flaming, and almost sighed in relief when he clearly pitied you enough to ask something different.

“do you think you could describe what the weird feelings are like, honey? are they painful?” he asks, face twisted in concern.

“no they don’t hurt, it’s like- tingly, i think. feels throbby and uncomfortable. it um-,” you shifted in your seat, eyes locked on your mary-jane clad feet.

“it’s okay, take your time,”

“it makes me pee a little, i keep having to change my- my underwear,” you eyes began to sting in humiliation, knowing that if your parents found out that you’d been wetting yourself at the age of 18, they’d never speak to you again.

“sh, sh there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. are you sure it’s pee? or is it thicker, maybe a clearish-white?”

“yeah, it’s just like that, and it’s sticky too,”

“i think i know the problem, y/n. it’s easily treated, but you’ll need regular treatments with me to keep it contained, okay?” he wheeled his chair closer to his desk, typing something in his computer, nodding when you meekly said okay.

you were beyond relieved that you were going to be okay, that you wouldn’t have to confess your sins to the priest and your parents, that you could be cured by your nice doctor.

“alright, i need you to fully undress, get into this gown and lay down on the bed for me, then we can start the first session,” he gave you no room for arguments, handing you a pale blue hospital gown and turning back to his computer.

you shuffled over to the bed, slowly undressing and blanching at the thought of him seeing you borderline naked. your family were very christian and at a young age you had promised to never ruin yourself, especially not before marriage. you’d never been allowed any boyfriends growing up, always heavily punished if you’d been caught even looking at a boy for too long.

you’d since learnt your lesson, only having girl friends, steering clear of anyone outside of the church and keeping your head down in public. the idea that dr lupin would be seeing you down there, was enough to bring you close to tears.

you peered over your shoulder periodically, nervous that he’d turn around and catch a peep of your bare skin.

slipping into the gown, you climbed onto the bed, laying back as you called out to him that you were ready.

you watched dr lupin set up, snapping on his gloves and sanitising various terrifying looking equipment on his metal table.

“just need you to pop your feet in the stirrups, lovely girl,”

you carefully did as he said, legs spread wide and feeling oh so vulnerable, but terribly scared of disappointing him. you hated it, but a small part of you was loving the way his hands gripped your ankles when he strapped you in, murmuring reassurances about it being for everyone’s safety, thumb stroking along your delicate skin.

eventually, he stood between your legs, blue gloved hands hovering above your private parts, “is it okay if i start? i’ll need to touch you.”

you nodded your consent, breath hitching as he made contact with your very inner thigh, fingertips sliding closer to where the problem originated, his eyes never leaving the area.

“are you having those feelings now? you’re all wet, love,”

a tear finally slipped free, cooling your burning cheeks as you turned your head away, shame consuming you.

“oh baby, it’s okay, i’m gonna help you, you want me to make you feel better?”

you nodded, finally looking up at him with salty tears glittering in your pretty eyes, wanting nothing more than this horrible feeling to go away. you wanted dr lupin to make you all better.

his digits glide over your pussy, your warm slick coating them. you whimper when he hits your sensitive clit, legs twitching in response. the taste of iron coated your tongue, biting down as a pathetic effort to try and keep quiet, mindful of other patients in the waiting room just down the hall.

he slowly started circling it, free hand going to press at your throbbing hole, “fuck, you really aren’t very well, are you poppet? s’alright, i have just the thing to make you feel good again, it’ll fix you right up,”

you cried out when a finger entered you, tight walls spasming around the foreign object. sobbing and shaking, so overcome with pleasure with him working you up to your fast approaching orgasm. you let out a sharp gasp, confused as to what was happening to your body. you were losing control of your movements, and you began to worry that you were being possessed by a demon.

those thoughts were cleared from your mind when you came with a squeal, thighs closing around his hands in an effort to get the overwhelming pleasure to stop. you were astounded that something medical could feel so amazing, or even that it was possible to feel like this at all. you felt very lucky that you had such a good doctor, even if he made you feel flustered.

already, the feeling deep in your belly was starting to be satiated, but you really hoped that there would be more treatment today, as it still lingered and you desperately needed to feel that bliss again.

when he pulled his fingers away, he could see the white substance ringed around them, arousal fluid still connecting your heat to him in strings. his erection was pulsing against his trousers, dampening the fabric there as he tried to hold back from corrupting you too much.

oh well, too late now.

he whispered praises to you, rubbing your thighs and smearing your cum all over them as he tried to calm you down, smiling softly when you reopened your eyes.

“that was intense, huh? you did so well for me, just need one more from you, then you’re all done for today. i know, it’s a lot, but it’s really important that we fully complete the treatment, especially seeing as you shook so much,”

you nodded hazily, head much too clouded in pleasure to be able to take in what he was saying. you’d never felt that good in your life, and you supposed that it was a good thing that you’d gone to the doctors first instead of the priest, feeling much better already.

still so caught up in your mind, you didn’t pay any attention to what dr lupin was doing, not noticing him snapping off his gloves before unbuckling his belt and pulling out his reddened cock.

“this piece of equipment is really gonna make a lot of difference in your recovery,” he said, rubbing his tip along your puffy entrance, groaning quietly when it caught, slipping inside slightly.

you moaned loudly when he finally pushed in, eyes rolling to the back of your head at the mixture of pleasure and pain.

dr lupin had to hold still for a moment, trying to hold back from giving you a creampie already at the sight of your virgin blood staining his cock, pearly white and crimson mixing to create a rosy pink that coated him.

checking that you were doing okay, he pulled out until only his tip was left inside of you. fingers grasping at your waist, hard enough that he knew it would leave plum coloured bruising, remus gave you no warning before he began to pound into you, letting out guttural groans as your back arched off the bed.

the clinical paper ripped beneath you, his hips slapping against you, the two of you moaned, fully giving up on staying quiet, getting lost in the feel of each other.

his rough hands grabbed at your ass, tugging you towards him with each thrust, sweat collecting along his hairline. his eyes switched between looking at your face and your pussy, tears still spilling over with a heated face, pussy covered in your shared fluids, throbbing around him.

feeling your high building up again, he held back his own, wanting to finally release together, he lifted a hand off of your ass, circling steadily over your little button to push you over the edge.

the band coiling inside of you finally snapped, and you whimpered as you squirmed around, body shaking uncontrollably. your nails dug into the sides of the bed, trying to hold on as he worked you through your orgasm, groaning out as he too let go.

you felt his hot cum spurting inside of you, moaning at the new feeling, praying internally that this would never end. your previously arched back fell down as your orgasm ended, aftershocks still wracking your body. you were happy that he had gotten to feel this good too, even if you didn’t understand what that fluid was, or why he’d felt pleasure as well.

breathless, his body involuntarily folded itself over in exhaustion, slumping down onto yours. he tried to catch his breath, feeling your chest expand and collapse underneath his face, heart beating wildly.

he slid he cock out of you, and you were just about lucid enough to notice this time that the piece of equipment was attached to his body. you thought it was quite handy to have something so useful joined onto him, wondering if that was a part of the training to become a doctor.

hot cum poured out of your abused hole, trailing down onto the ripped up clinical paper, soaking the already damp material. remus pulled it out from under you, binning it before grabbing a couple of baby wipes from a nearby drawer.

“good girl, did amazing for me, baby. y’might just be my best patient,”

he wiped you down, soothing you when you jolted from the cold feeling of the wipes, unstrapping your ankles, then guiding you into slowly standing and redressing, turning away when necessary but occasionally peering over his shoulder to catch glimpses of your pretty body.

“i think we’ll book you in for another session, let’s say two days from now? is 6:00pm alright with you?” he asked when you were ready to leave.

you quickly agreed, already excited for the next appointment. he helped you out to the car park where your parents were already waiting for you, ignoring the dirty look the receptionist gave the two of you, patiently holding you up as you stumbled along, before subtly patting at your bum, telling you that he can’t wait to see you again.

part 2

[muniimyg]

𐙚₊˚⊹ bbydaddy!yoongi (3) ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹

series m.list // taglist

//

it’s been almost three weeks since you last saw him. 

so, when you walk into the clinic, flushed cheeks and tucked-in hair and all—yoongi’s first thought catches him off guard. 

oh, i missed you. 

your absence crept into him slowly over the past few weeks. it filled in all the small gaps of his days with a quiet ache he had never noticed until now. it’s weird to say the least. 

when you spot him, a small and hesitant smile tugs at the corner of your mouth. yoongi smiles back, fuller than you expected. it’s still a casual smile but his eyes tell all. 

"hey," you say, voice soft as you approach him.

your fingers nervously fidgeting with the strap of your bag. he notices and reaches over to take your bag. 

you let him. 

"hey."

he tries to sound professional, though he knows he’s already failing. his voice is laced with excitement and nervousness. "let’s head to an exam room, yeah?"

then, he gestures down the hallway, and you follow.

as you two walk, you clear your throat. 

“where is everyone?”

“nam joon and jin have an online doctor's conference so they’re in jin’s office. hobi has a patient, jimin’s his nurse, and taehyung’s on his lunch break.” yoongi answers you like he reviewed for this. 

“and jungkook?”

yoongi blinks at you before placing his hand on your lower back and guiding you through the 3rd door to the left. 

is it bad he wants to be dismissive? is it bad that he’s a little annoyed you’re asking about jungkook while literally in the midst of finding out if you’re pregnant with his child?

doesn’t matter.

yoongi is mature. he answers you patiently—only really annoying himself.

“he’s my rn. told him my patient requested a private exam so he’s on a break too.” 

the room’s quiet when you two step inside. just the soft hum of the vent and the door shutting fills the silence. yoongi helps you sit on the exam bed. you don’t say anything, letting the crinkling paper under you shift as you settle in. yoongi gathers his supplies, his eyes darting toward you between movements.

“so... how’ve you been?” he asks, rolling up his sleeves. 

it feels like such a weak question. like it’s too small for all the things yoongi actually wants to say (because it is).

“fine. a little... tired, i guess?” you forces a tiny laugh. “and you? how’s work been? the space is really well done. i think the last time i saw it was during the final renovation process.”

“it’s nice, isn’t it?” yoongi states pridefully. 

“aren’t you into interior design? i’m gonna guess you controlled the overall aesthetic.” 

yoongi chuckles at you lightly. “we decorated a gingerbread house together once 2 years ago and you can never let that little discovery go, huh?” 

you stick your tongue out at him and swing your feet. “you’re pretty obvious with things you like.”

yoongi stares at you, eyebrows lifting in quiet surprise. 

you’re pretty obvious with things you like. 

your words hang in the air, sinking into him with a weight he hadn’t expected—he hadn’t prepared for.  he tries to play it off, mouth twitching into a half-smile, but he can feel his face warming.

there’s a small silence, and he can feel his heart picking up speed. his brain racing through all the ways he’s been maybe—not-so-subtle.

the way he leans a little closer when you talk.

how he remembers every little thing you mention— stupid things like how you prefer your coffee bitter. 

it hits him all at once.

he’s not fooling anyone. 

but for some reason; he hopes to fool you. even if it’s just a little while longer. as complicated as it sounds, he isn’t sure how much more risk he can put your friendship at. 

his throat tightens, and he clears it.

“...guess i am,” he murmurs, unable to hide the quiet honesty in his voice.

you stay quiet.

a little unsure if your friendship always had these silent gaps in between or if it’s because of the tension between you two right now. you attempt once more. 

“so… work?”

“work? oh… it’s the same, mostly.” he shrugs, tying a tourniquet around your arm. his fingers brush your skin for just a second longer than necessary. “though it’s nice to have an interesting case now and then,” he teases, his lips quirking up just slightly. 

“oh, so i’m interesting now?” you tease, trying for lightness. although, your voice shakes a little.

you hope he doesn’t notice. 

he does. 

“well... always have been, if i’m honest,” yoongi snickers. “blood test first and then we’ll do a urine sample. i can have the blood test result by tomorrow.”

“okay,” you say as you shut your eyes.

yoongi then slips a needle into your vein with practiced ease. once you feel the pinch, you flutter your eyes open. 

they meet yoongi’s and for a fleeting moment—he feels his chest tighten. 

as the vial fills with blood, yoongi realizes this is the closest you two have been in weeks. 

there’s something unspoken about it but very understood when he reaches for your free hand and squeezes it. you gulp and offer him a small smile. 

when it’s over, yoongi gently places a bandage on your arm. his fingers brush your skin again, lingering just a (another) second too long before he steps back.

"all done," he says softly, but he knows they’re only just beginning. “ready to pee in a cup?”

“more than ever.” 

with that, he laughs and takes your hand. yoongi helps you down and reaches for the sample cup. his arms wrap around your waist ever so gently as he guides you out of the exam room and into the washroom. 

yoongi waits for you outside the washroom door.

yoongi watches you pace, the linoleum tiles squeaking under your sneakers. 

"it only takes a few minutes," he says, tapping the test strip on the countertop, trying to sound as calm as he can. you’re nodding, but your hands are twisting the hem of your shirt. 

the clock ticks away the longest three minutes of your lives.

yoongi's eyes dart between the test and the silent tension builds up between you and him. when he glances at you, you’re staring at the counter. 

like you’re bracing yourself. 

like you already know. 

then, the lines appear. 

yoongi’s throat tightens, fingers hovering over the little strip with too much gravity for its size. his throat feels dry and suddenly he’s all out of words. he’s speechless as the results speak for themselves. 

but then, he can feel your eyes on him—waiting, hopeful, and terrified all at once.

“___,” yoongi breathes. “it’s positive.”

a moment passes.

"oh my god,” you choke. “hyemi is gonna lose her shit."

yoongi drives you home. 

he takes the rest of the day off actually. he excuses himself and lets jungkook know something came up. no one catches you two leaving the clinic together. 

now, here you two are. 

sitting in his car, parked outside your family home. the weight of the news hangs in the air. it’s not heavy—but it’s not exactly light. it’s… different. it’s more good than bad—actually, it’s not bad at all.

both of you sit there, still processing the reality of it all. 

“i want whatever you want,” yoongi finally says, breaking the stillness. his gaze is focused on you, sincere and adoring. 

you nod, accepting his words. 

“this is what i want,” you say simply. though your voice trembles with a mix of excitement and disbelief—you mean it. “look, i know my baby fever is batshit crazy and the whole time we fucked i was literally such a freak, but this—this is so precious, you know? new life. are you fucking—oops, sorry baby—” you pat your stomach.

“yoongi, this is ours.”

you shift something in yoongi. 

his heart flutters at the word. 

ours. 

it plunges his heart and engraves itself; ours. 

there is no other way to act or feel. 

the thought of being a dad feels surreal. it’s like something out of a dream. he’s always wanted to have a family.

okay, fine.

is the status of their relationship ideal? no. but the reality of a baby, their baby, makes his heart race.

and so what if he isn’t prepared? so what if this wasn’t what he expected? so what if a first date would’ve been a better idea? the questions flood his mind, but they quickly fade as he looks at the way you look at him. 

hopeful. 

excited. 

scared shitless. 

joyous. 

the joy on your face igniting something deep within him. 

he wants this too. 

even if it feels overwhelming. even if it isn’t ideal. even if it means navigating through a literal lifetime with you from here on out.

yoongi’s gaze softens.

“we’re doing this... together. this is ours.”

“together,” you echo, a wide grin spreading across your face. your eyes tear up from all the emotions and the rushing feeling of relief. with soft tone, you murmur; “ours.”

you two look at each other, unable to read one another. all you know is that this isn’t as scary as you thought it’d be. yoongi’s eyes are kind and the way he reaches to squeeze your upper thigh makes you feel safe.

“you know what? i’ll be the first to say it,” yoongi laughs. “congratulations, mama.” 

your eyes widen and you burst into laughter. 

your laugh fills his car, bright and full of life. you can’t help but to lean in and wrap your arms around him. you hold him tight. he holds you tighter. 

when you pull away, you two lock eyes. 

the air feels thick with anticipation. yoongi’s heart races as his eyes shift from yours to your lips then back to you. you’re looking at him with an expression mixed of excitement and vulnerability. he can’t help but admire the way the light catches in your gaze.

time seems to slow as you two hold each other’s stare. both of you are caught in the moment.

for a heartbeat, it’s just you and yoongi.

two people on the brink of something new and beautiful. yoongi leans in a fraction, drawn by an invisible thread, while you tilts your head slightly. your lips part and the urge to close the distance grows stronger. 

but you blink. 

and yoongi hesitates. 

the tension cuts. 

you pull away first and sit back. yoongi clears his throat and does a double take. then, he thinks; fuck it. 

he leans over and unbuckles your seatbelt. 

“should i walk you to your door—”

“no, no,” you insist. “yes, i’m pregnant with your child… but we don’t have to act like—”

“act like what?” yoongi huffs. “am i not allowed to care for you?”

you shrug. 

"___, you're literally carrying my child—"

“you know what? i’ll be in touch regarding child support,” you tease, a mischievous glint in her eyes. with that, you open the car door and step out. 

yoongi rolls his eyes. 

“you’re ridiculous,” he replies, shaking his head but unable to suppress the smile spreading across his face. then, he unbuckles his seatbelt and jogs around the car. he shuts the car door for you. 

you give him a look. 

he mimics it. 

then, you scrunch your nose and accept what’s happening.

yoongi walks beside you, fingertips lingering and all. he tells you that he’ll let you know what the blood work says tomorrow. he tells you to let him know if you need anything and not to worry about anything health related as, in his words; “no discussion needed. i got it.”

all you do is nod and try your best to stop your heart from fluttering so much.

[idontevenknowwhatt]

Surprise

Summary: Y/n has been keeping a secret from Emily and hasn’t had the opportunity to tell her wife. The secret is revealed not in the way you had hoped but sometimes the unexpected can be perfect.

Warnings: Talks about miscarriages, fertility struggles and pregnancy in general. Small allusion to smut but no actual smut.

A/N: Hello again, it’s been a bit since I’ve posted anything but this is my first Emily Prentiss x reader. This is set when Emily is Unit Chief and won’t follow any specific episode. I hope you all enjoy it :))

—--------------------------------------------

You loved your wife. More than anything else in the world. But since becoming the BAU’s Unit Chief a couple months ago she was a lot busier. Whether it was paperwork or meetings, she had a lot on her plate.

You weren’t mad or upset, if anything you were incredibly proud. But you still missed your wife, even though you worked with her everyday.

You had both adjusted pretty quickly to her new workload and always made sure to spend time with one another as much as possible. But this week had been particularly bad. She would mostly be out of the house before you even woke up or leaving as you started to get ready. Then she’d be in her office hours after the team went home.

You knew it was just going to be one of those weeks and you just had be there to support you wife if she needed anything.

You’d been feeling sick all week and at first you had put it down to something you’d ate. But as the week went on, so did the nausea and the body aches.

If it had been a normal week Emily would have noticed immediately. But with how busy she was, she really only saw you when you were in bed or in passing at work.

You hadn’t thought much else about the sickness you had been feeling until yesterday morning. Emily had just left the house when you got up. As you walked towards the kitchen the smell of coffee had set you off and caused you to sprint into the bathroom and empty the contents of your stomach.

That’s when it hit you. You had wrapped a case the week before in Idaho and hadn’t even noticed that your period was late. And not just a little, by almost 2 months. It all started to make sense.

You and Emily have been married for four years and decided that you were both ready to expand your family. You’d both picked out a sperm donor that had similar looks to Emily and had been trying for a baby for months now.

You were lucky to have a positive test come back fairly fast and Emily was ecstatic. The idea of you growing her child inside you made her so happy.

So when you had a doctors appointment to confirm everything, you were both heartbroken to find out that it was a false positive.

That night you had sobbed in Emily’s arms while she too cried and held you tightly to her chest, whispering reassuring words into your ear. You knew that it was only the first try and that it was unlikely to happen anyway. But it still hurt, you were so close.

Since then you had tried multiple times but the test kept coming back negative. It was soul destroying to both of you. You had blamed yourself and thought that there was something wrong with your body. Emily made sure to reassure you that it wasn’t but it was still hard.

So you tried not to get too excited while waiting for the pregnancy tests that sat on the counter. The happiness that flooded your body when all three came up positive was overwhelming and the tears started running.

But there’s was still something in the back of your mind that told you that it wasn’t real and it was just more false positives.

Luckily you didn’t start until 10am and had plenty of time to book a last minute blood test. The joy you felt when it confirmed what you and Emily had been hoping for was one of the greatest feelings.

Now you just had to figure out the best way to tell your wife. As it was now Friday and finally the end of the week, you thought that it was the perfect night to tell her. And frankly you didn’t know how much longer you could keep it in.

You had sneaked out and bought a cute little onesie and planned on leaving it on your bed with the positive pregnancy tests. It was a simple idea but that’s all you wanted.

You were barely able to focus on your work all day and swore the day couldn’t have gone any slower. As the team slowly started filtering out and wishing you a good weekend you started to get anxious.

Emily was still in her office doing paperwork and was so focused she didn’t even realise the team had left.

Making your way up to her office you knocked and slipped in without waiting for an answer. Emily’s head shot up ready to reprimand someone for entering her office without permission. But the moment her eyes me yours her entire face softened.

“Hey baby” she said as you made your way around her desk to stand in front of her. “Everything okay?”

“Yea, I just miss my wife” you smiled leaning down to peck her lips.

Emily smiled into the kiss and you could feel tension start to leave her body at the small contact.

“Well I miss you more” she pulled you down to straddle her lap. Her arms snake around your waist pulling you closer and her hands start to rub soothing circles on your lower back. Instinctively your arms found there way around her neck and your fingers gently play with the hair at the back of her neck.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been home much this week"

“It’s okay” you reassure her. “I get it, you’ve got a job to do and not every week is like this week. It will get better. Plus I know you’ll make it up to me later”

She sees the smirk on your face and her hands move to squeeze your hips.

“Oh I promise I will, you can count on it” she smirks back with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “I’m pretty much done here if you’re ready to head home? Maybe I can start making it up to you when we get there?”

“That sounds amazing” you smile tightly getting a rush of nerves at the thought of the onesie laying on your bed at home.

“Hey, you okay baby?” Emily of course notices your body language change immediately. Concern laces her face and her brows furrow. “Did something happen?”

“No of course not” your too quick to reassure her. “Well, sort of but nothing for you to worry about”

You really should have just left the last part off but you’re practically bursting wanting to tell her.

“What do you mean? Did someone say something to you? Because you know i'm unit chief now, if anyone-”

“Babe, no one said anything”

“Well something happened, I’m not gonna stop worrying until you tell me what it is” her hand moves to caress your cheek and you can’t help but lean into her touch. God she was your weakness. “Talk to me baby”

“Em…”

“Is this about my workload, cause I meant what I said. I’m sorry about this week, I just-”

“Emily, it’s not about this week. I told you I get it”

“Well then what is it? I can tell somethings off”

“Em it’s about us”

“The two of us?” Her face is full of confusion which quickly turns to concern for your relationship.

“The three of us” you place her hand on top of your stomach and cover it with your own. “I’m pregnant baby”

“You’re pregnant?” You swear you can feel her heart stop for a brief moment.

“I’m pregnant” you confirm tears forming in your eyes.

For a moment you’re unsure of her reaction, she just sits there stunned. It definitely wasn’t the news she was expecting.

Before you can think much more about it here lips are on yours as she gives you a loving and passionate kiss. She pulls your body impossibly closer as tears start to stream down both your faces.

She pulls back to look at you, her hand and yours still resting against your stomach.

“I love you so much” she kisses you again.

“I love you too”

“When did you find out? Please tell me you haven’t been holding out on me for too long because of work”

“I only found out yesterday morning, I was feeling sick all week but I didn’t think much of it” her eyes never leave yours as you talk. “I didn’t even realise I was late until yesterday too. So I took a bunch of tests and they all came back positive”

“And they’re not-”

“No” you interrupt her before any more doubt can flood her mind. “I got a last minute blood test yesterday too. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first but I didn’t want to get your hopes up if it was another false positive”

“Oh honey, you could have told me anyway” her face softens. “We’re in this together, remember?”

“I know, I just wanted it to be perfect when I told you” you gesture with your hand “this is not the way I planned on telling you. There’s a onesie sitting on our bed at home”

“This was perfect” she reassures you leaning in to place a kiss on your lips.

“I’m almost seven weeks” you see her smile grow. “You know I’m surprised you haven’t noticed yet, my boobs are already getting bigger.”

Her eyes flick down to your breasts and her lips twitch into a smirk.

“You know considering how much you love to touch them” you giggle.

“Well they are magnificent” she defends reaching to give them a gentle squeeze making you moan lightly. “God I love you, thank you for carrying our child and making us moms”

“I’d do it twenty times if it made you happy” you smile. “Okay maybe not twenty but you know what I mean”

“I know baby” she laughs. “You wanna head home now? Show me that onesie you bought?”

“That sounds perfect” you hop off her lap and intertwine your hand with hers as she stands. “You know I’m a little sore, I could do with a bubble bath with my wife. Seeing as the unit chief needs to make it up to me”

“I think that can be arranged” she smirks leaning in to captures your lips.

—--------------------------------------------

[therapycat21]

Oh Baby

Requested: Yes/No

Request:

Hi, can you please do one about the Travis and Taylor rumors going around. Maybe like your Taylor’s sister dating Travis secretly for awhile now and your pregnant. And like the Taylor concert he went to he was like there with you and the football that Taylor went to she was like there with you. And it all comes out that he’s with you and not Taylor and they find out your pregnant and all and are so shocked and didn’t see it coming. Like if that makes sense 🙂

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Me and Travis have been together for a five years now and have been in a private relationship due to the past of both of our relationships. Since we decided to be private it has been nothing but amazing .We had met from mutual friends of my younger sister Taylor.

   One of her backup dancers had known Travis from meeting him at the Super Bowl where he danced for Rihanna. 

  Travis and I officially met at the Superbowl party after they won and we’ve been together. Since then we had gotten a house together, married, and had a few fur babies but now as we stare at the screen in the dim room and the nurse moving the doppler around, we finally see our baby, we’ve been coming here for six months now and looking at our baby never gets old. We still have our gender reveal to do in the next few weeks but for now, we have to wait. 

After wiping the gel off my stomach, I see Travis’s phone lighting up on the counter “Hey babe? Your phone’s going off” I tell him, the tight grasp he has on my hand is gone as he opens the phone screen, I continue to wipe the gel off and get myself together so we can leave when Travis lets a giant frustrated sigh resonate throughout the room. I look at him to see frustration masking his face “Baby what’s wrong?” I ask. He looks up from his screen before turning the phone towards me, I take the phone and start reading the news article. There have been many news articles about Travis potentially dating someone new every week at this point I'm used to it.

I look back up at him seeing the serious look on his face. “What do you wanna do about it?” I ask him, not knowing how to go about this, he rubs his forehead “I wanna be done hiding you and the baby. I know It’s a lot to ask of you but I just want the world to know I’m with you and I’m happy” he tells me. 

I give him a once over before nodding “How about this, we don’t say anything yet, but we go out together and just do what we usually do at home, outside, and once it starts being noticed, then we’ll find a way to confirm it, is that okay?” I ask him, making up a plan so it’s easier. He smiles nodding his head at the plan “Alright, let’s do that” he gives me a chaste kiss before we leave the private room and start to head home, since this is a private doctor's office, no one knows we’re here, we get in the car and start driving home  “how about tonight? We can start by going to Taylor's concert” I suggest as we pull up to the house. I look over and see him nod his head in response “Yeah let's do that, Let's get in cause we don’t have that much time before the concert.” He tells me.

We both got ready, and we both decided to wear white. We arrive at the stadium and are escorted to where Taylor is in the back, As I see her she quickly walks over to me, pulling me into a hug being cautious of my stomach, she lets go before softly rubbing my belly “Oh my god, I feel like you were 2 months like last week and now you're almost done” she tells me before pulling me into another hug before turning to acknowledge Travis “oh my god, how are you? How’s everything?” she asks him. He hugged her back briefly before talking a bit about what was going on. 

We were interrupted as one of the managers came over to tell us it was time to head to our seats and for Taylor to get in position for the concert. We all hug one last time before Travis and I head to our family balcony seats.

     3 Hours Later

 After a few hours of enjoying Taylor’s set, I noticed some fans pointing their phones to wear Travis and I were sitting, I nudged him a bit to let him know, and I saw him look down, acknowledging them and giving some a few waves as they capture pictures of him, if only we knew what everyone would be thinking by noon tomorrow. 

After hanging with Taylor for a bit at her after party we decided to head home so I could rest after being on my feet for a long time. Me and Travis are freshly showered and lounging on the couch watching Marvel before we head to bed for the night.

     The Next Morning

The pressure on my bladder is what wakes me up from my comfortable sleep, I try to roll out of bed not even bothering to check my phone, and head to the bathroom to get ready for the morning, I can still hear Travis snoring as I hear my phone chime with a notification, I walk over to my nightstand grabbing my phone, opening it to see a crap ton of messages from Taylor and a few of mine and Travis friends. Opening the first message I see from Taylor

        “Did you see this? I don’t wanna say anything unless you want me to cause I don’t want to add any more stress on you, no one knows me and Henry are together yet but I  still need to talk to him about that, I love you please let me know, ”

   I clicked on the link she sent, seeing it's an article from ENews.

 I kind of expected this to happen considering I don’t really like to be in the spotlight, even as Taylor’s older sister I never really strived for that, Now don’t get me wrong, almost all of Taylor’s fans know of me from over the years. 

  I went to Travis's side of the bed and gently shook him awake  “What? What's going on?” He asks groggily, I turn the phone screen and watch him as he reads the article title, he shakes his head before turning to sit up “What the hell?” is all he responds with while reading the article. He hands the phone back to me before picking up and checking his phone. I continue going through the messages from friends when I get sent another article, It is dated back to when when me, Taylor and our mom went to one of Travis’s games last week, and of course it is titled almost the same, with the public thinking they’re dating. Broken out of my thoughts, Travis slams his phone down on the nightstand, I put my phone down while walking over to him, I cradle his head into my chest, rubbing his head “I wanna be done with this” Is all he says to me.

   I continue rubbing his head before he kisses me, getting up to use the bathroom. While he is in the bathroom, I contemplate, I already know what he wants to do but I know he isn't doing it because of my hesitation with it becoming more public. I decide I’m done being scared and hiding myself. 

I pick up my phone before opening Instagram and uploading a picture we had taken recently at our maternity shoot and without a second thought I posted it. I quickly shut my phone, a little nervous to even look at it. I waddle into the bathroom where Travis is standing at the sink brushing his teeth. He looks at me in question, seeing the nervous look on my face. He quickly finishes his teeth “Are you alright?” he asks I open my phone screen and quickly turn it towards him. As he checks the post, I am filled with nerves but they quickly diminish as a giant smile breaks out on his face.

Putting the phone down he pulls me into a tight hug as best as he can, he lets go running out of the room, I peek out, waddling over to see him opening his phone and making his own post.

After he posted the picture, he pulled me towards him with his head leveled with mine as he was sitting on the bed, He pulled me into a soft kiss “Thank you, I know how hard it was to do that” he tells me smiling softly. I chuckle rubbing the side of his beard “It was nerve-wracking no doubt but other than that, it wasn’t that hard” I reassure him. We’re both broken out of our silent bubble, simultaneously getting a notification chime, we both open our phone screens to see we were tagged in a Twitter post by Taylor Letting everyone know that she is indeed dating someone named Henry and how Travis is only and will only ever be her brother-in-law.

Travis still holding me by my waist pulls my face to him, kissing me softly, nudging his nose against mine, and softly rubbing the bump "I love you so much" he tells me softly, I smile "I love you too baby" I tell him pulling him in for another kiss.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

For some reason, I feel like this sucks but It's whatever, I may rewrite it but for now, here it is,,,enjoy!!

Much Love

TC21

[writingoddess1125]

HI I LOVE UR EVERYTHING AND PAPA BUGGY WAS SO CUTE AND IF YOU CAN DO ONE WHERE HE HAS BABY FEVER PLEASE 🙏🙏 I'M ON MY KNEES 🙏🙏 (I love ur work it's so cute and sad, funny)

Lucky Winner to get Part 2!!

Fever pt. 2

Buggy x Femreader + Buggy Twins

Also PSA everyone Wrap it before you tap it!

Support me on Ko-Fi ☕️

Check out the rest of the Old Men series

"YOURE PREGNANT!!"

Buggy shouted in total joy, Jumping around the room as his body looked almost like an accordion at his odd movements- you sitting there in total shock.

You'd expected that the twins would be your first and last, not that you would accidently get pregnant again especially by the same idiot who had done it by accident the first time.

Your hands went over your face as the reality of 9 months of this set in- For Fuck sakes... You could t help but giggle and hug Buggy there in the doctors office, Both happy and in total shock by this all.

After this things moved all too quickly it seemed. Of course you two told the boys who had been both excited and apprehensive- Like most kids worried the new baby would replace them or take the father they just gained from them, which had to be explained wasn't the case and you and Buggy created a gameplan to help the biys adjust. Then came the crew, who decided to have a 3 day celebration and get absolutely shit faced- Buggy included.

Why you were indeed happy, incredibly happy infant you knew what was about to come. HORRIBLE PREGNANCY SYMPTOMS! WONDERFUL-

Your first trimester was filled with morning sickness, Poor Buggy being as kind as possible as he helped clean you up and find foods that wouldn't make you puke your guts out. The twins even doing their part to find nice teas and things that smelled nice for you to also not throw up.

During this time Buggy bought so much stuff- Most likely boosting the economy of the village single handedly as he had the nursery built in the cabin and on the ship, You and the boys having a fun few weeks decorating both areas.

By your second trimester the hormones kicked in horribly, that and cramps. However that's when something magical happened as well-

Buggy and you were laying on the bed, both of you quite exhausted. Buggy was tired from dealing with the twins all day while you were tired from the baby and fatigue that was hitting you like a fleet. Since the start of your second trimester when your baby bump had become far more noticable Buggy always has his hand somewhere on your stomach rubbing the growing bump.

"I need to find a better way of tiring them out..." Buggy grumbled, You nodding in agreement leaned against the man and truthfully you both without single damns. Buggy in some pink boxers while you leaned against his naked chest in a large shirt rolled up over your stomach and underwear.

"They are still worried- Maybe take them out sailing or something? I'm sure they would enjoy tha- Oof!" You yelp as a sudden jolt hit you, clearly aimed right under Buggys palm which make both of you jump in surprise.

"What the hell was that?" He questioned as he pulled his palm away from you quickly and looked at your stomach. You shifting and rubbing the exposed skin smiling at him.

"They kicked, ive been feeling 'em move but not kick yet. Here I'm sure they will give you another little kick" You say calmly. Buggy sitting infront of you quickly and placing his palms back on your skin, You shifting his palms to the perfect spot before another jolt ran through you and Buggy giggled like a child at this.

"Thats so weird feeling!"

His eyes sparkled at this as he sat infront of you rubbing your stomach and feeling his child move under his palm and occasionally kick. It was a truly precious moment for the both of you.

As for the final trimester... Pregnancy was never too kind to anyone- Especially you. It wasn't with the twins and it sure wasn't now-

Leaned against the counter you glared hard at Buggy- 60 damn days you're ass! Try 8 fucking months trapped in this God forsaken cabin with your mentally unstable partner, two 12 year old boys and your bladder being utterly destroyed by little feet.

Oh and of course- THE GOD DAMN CREW THAY DECIDED THAT THEY WANTED TO STAY WITH THEIR FEARLESS CAPTIAN TILL THE 'VACATION' WAS OVER!

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Buggy questioned feeling the heat of your glare on his skin.

"I-..." You wanted to start Biting his head off but truthfully he had done nothing, you figured you were just emotional to the max at this point and the cramping didn't help.

"...I'm in pain-" You admit with a sigh, Buggy setting down his drink and walking to you calmly as he looked you over like he could spot your pain.

"Your stomach looks different" He said calmly, You shooting him a warning look.

"No shit it looks-" Buggy shook his head to stop you, "No its lower I mean, I think it's best we call the doctor" He said calmly, A shot of embrassment going through you at this point. Buggy truly had been giving it his all and learned from the doctor. With a chick trip from the Doctor and Midwife they confirmed you were in labor and got you set up to give birth in the cabin, The twins being taken to the Big Top with Cabaji while they waited for their siblings arrival.

"How are you feeling?" Buggy asked, Gently rubbing your back as you smiled.

"Not to bad actually- I'm glad you're here with me.." You say softly as another contraction shot through you.

At first it was fine- You'd been through this before. So it should be shorter and less painful this time around- Yeah No. You went from fine to screaming in pain very very quickly. Buggy sitting next to you trying to comfort you and get you through it- However the last thing you wanted was him there..

Which landed Buggy outside the house awkwardly, his crew also seated on different patches of grass as they flinched at every cry and scream that echoed out from the house and into the silent garden outside. You had kicked out Buggy 20 minutes ago, clearly just in too much pain to handle him at the moment and the doctor recommending him to try to return in 30 minutes. Which he did.

Truthfully he handled it like a champ once back in, holding your hand despite feeling like you were crushing it into dust and wiping the sweat and tears from your eyes. After a seven exhausting painful hours a shrill cry cut through the air as you slacked onto the bed. The doctor happily placing a little girl on your chest, now tears of joy running down your cheeks.

The doctors starting to clean her up as you admired her, looking to Buggy who was also crying.

You held the little girl in your arms, seeing her pink little face she had your facial features and (Y/H/C) hair like you but a bright rounded cherry nose/cheeks and ocean blue eyes. She was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen. You saw Buggy stare in only awe as he felt tears hit his cheeks and he smiled.

"Shes.. shes.."

Your hand reached forward, Buggy thinking it was to caress his cheek or something gentle but instead you grabbed his neck in a iron grip- He squeaking in surprise as you pull him close.

"Buggy- This is the last... do you understand? Cause if the words 'I want another child' come from your lips ever again I am going to cut your dick off and throw it into the deepest part of the ocean. Do. You. Understand. Me" You said in the softest and kindest voice Buggy had ever heard, fear going through his system as he could tell you were dead serious.. maybe it was the lack of oxygen going to his brain or still the euphoria of the moment but he swore he saw literal hell flame in yours eyes.

"Clear- Crystal Clear" He wheezed, you releasing him so he could scoop up his daughter. He genuinely looked giddy at this point as he cuddled her close to his chest, you saw the anxiety just below the surface of his face as he stared at his daughter more her nose-

"Shes beautiful" You say softly staring at her from Buggy's arms.

"I won't let her go through what I did- I want her to feel special and perfect" He admitted, your eyes softening at his vulnerability as he kissed his daughters cheek.

"Im sure they will kn- Oof!- Fuck" You hissed in pain and flinched. The doctor peaked under the blanket quickly and called over the midwife who did a quick check. You wincing in pain as Buggy stared at you panicking and holding the now fussing newborn.

"(Y/N)?!" He said softly as another groan of pain left you. The midwife and doctor conversing quickly before beginning to prepare once again.

"It seems you're still in labor- Looks like another baby" He said proudly, Your eyes widening as you look at Buggy like you were prepared to kill him. The clowns face as white as snow making his face paint look dark at the realization of 2 sets of twins kicked in.

"Holy shit-"

"GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!" You yelled as Buggy kept his daughter and rushed out quickly to show off his daughter and avoid your wrath of damning you to another set of twins.

Eventually he would return with your guys daughter and sat through another broken hand created by your labor. That night another little girl was brought in this world, the little girls being 8 hours apart and identical to her sister.

It was later decided after you had properly been cleaned up and not ready to murder Buggy their names. Buggy coming up with the names Ali and Ari respectively for his daughters.

Tag List-

@alastorhazbin @yuriwk

[puzzleglum]

I wrote a theory for the webcomic The Glass Scientists almost 2 weeks ago. Originally posted in the Disqus comment section underneath last week's update. Before another new page drops on Monday, I figured I might want to share it here on Tumblr, too! If only for my own satisfaction in archiving.

Some small parts aren't quite relevant anymore, I think, but we'll see whether the conclusions hold up, soon. My best guess would be within the next update or two. In the meantime, enjoy!

*******

THEORY TIME!!

I’ve stayed awake one night early last week thinking about what Jekyll could possibly be planning, thoughts swirling. And I think I figured out a solid possibility. Before I get to that, though, I first want to lay down ALL the pieces that brought me to my conclusion. Every piece of supporting evidence I could think of is here.

(Warning: this got pretty long.)

EXHIBIT A:

Whatever he’s planning has to deal with all of what he talked about here:

I want to pay particular attention here to Jekyll conflating his own reputation with that of the Society. In his mind, the two are inseparable. And for good reason, but I’m not about to summarize the whole comic’s events. My point is, his plan HAS to save his, and by extension, the Society’s reputation somehow.

And it doesn’t matter WHAT it takes. He was willing to lock Hyde away (for a few weeks, mind) to save the Exhibition and the Society, after all. SOMEONE had to take the fall for the street fire. He didn’t want to have to do this, but he was pushed into a corner.

Now, his first plan, when his form became unstable and the sudden transformations started, was to go to his office and search for a spare potion he missed. But that plan is right out the door, cause he scoured the entire place:

Now he’s pushed into a corner again, with the WHOLE Society at stake. If the public finds out Jekyll’s secret, they’re both ruined.

And now?

Only a matter of time until the world finds out his secret.

Time for EXHIBIT B:

Jekyll’s plan, I think, is unlikely to be an Un-Hyde potion of some sort. He didn’t even know how the original potion worked exactly! And since he doesn’t have any of the old potion left, he probably can’t make a modified version of that either. But, if he still had SOME of the ingredients left, but not all, perhaps he could make a different sort of potion. Perhaps.

But my main point is that I don’t think Jekyll’s plan is a potion to get rid of Hyde. I also think it would be too convenient if he suddenly figured out how to make an Un-Hyde potion that works. On a narrative level, it would be too easy. That’s not his plan. No easy outs for our dear Doctor.

EXHIBIT C:

We know there is going to be a moment that will reflect this chapter’s cover. Sage told us so!

Right here, at the last sentence:

Obviously, it’s not going to be a literal parallel. It’s more about intent, I think. Jekyll is going to do Something, and that Something is NOT going to be good for Hyde. But, and this is key here, it’s not going to be good for Jekyll, either.

They both go down together. I can’t stress this point enough. Jekyll is not planning on coming out of this unscathed. But, remember, his plan HAS to save the Society’s reputation somehow. The world can’t know the truth.

(EDIT: my thoughts on the details of the parallel have evolved since. Now I think it will end up being a lot more literal than I initially thought. See this reply I wrote for more details on that. The key point of this Exhibit remains the same, however.)

EXHIBIT D:

This page feels like Jekyll is saying goodbye, somehow. Not only is he not coming out of this unscathed, I get the strong sense that he’s not planning on coming back at all. Clearly, he doesn’t want to do this. But he feels like he HAS to, for the sake of the Society. He’s resigned to it.

Someone has to take the fall.

Now, you’ve all been reading my reasoning thus far, probably wondering where I’m going with all this. Don’t worry. I only have three exhibits left, and then I will try to bring it all together. Thank you for your patience. I mean it.

EXHIBIT E:

Remember this very interesting bit about how Jekyll and Hyde’s mindscape works?

And a moment later, Hyde’s inner monologue says this:

“Only, I have a funny feeling that, once I went all the way down, I wouldn’t be able to find my way back up again.”

You may or may not already see where I’m going with this. :)

EXHIBIT F:

Remember this tweet by Sage? Since I first saw it a year ago, I’ve never forgotten it.

Now, I’ve seen different people theorize whether this is Hyde or Jekyll in Hyde’s body. Well, I’m going to make THREE (hopefully reasonable) assumptions:

1: This is Hyde, not Jekyll in Hyde’s body.

2: This panel will take place in THIS chapter, the one we’re still in, or early in the next.

3: Hyde’s distraught, despairing expression is caused (at least in part) by whatever Jekyll did. His plan.

(There is one more assumption I could state here, but I’ll save it for later. Keep this panel in the back of your mind for a bit if you want.)

And for the FINAL, EXHIBIT G:

Remember the trick Hyde used to force Jekyll to take control again? Forcing a transformation?

And now, remember THIS PAGE?

It’s probably safe to assume that this, too, works both ways. :)))

And NOW? I’ve run out of exhibits! Well! Well well well!!

(This panel is not relevant, I just wanted to use it. :D for fun!)

(Also, thank you so much to anyone who’s read this far?? Seriously! This thing is way longer than I planned!!)

My theory is that, quite simply, Jekyll is going to sacrifice himself to save the Society. To save his reputation, and thus, the Society’s.

I don’t think he can get rid of Hyde. But he doesn’t have to. He just needs to preserve his secret, because nobody in the overall public can know that Jekyll and Hyde are the same.

And in order to do that, his form needs to be stable. Remember Exhibit A? The big secret is in danger because he keeps transforming back and forth with no volition. Well, he’s got a solution for that.

Jekyll just needs to let Hyde take control. Permanently.

How? By going into the deepest parts of their mindscape, forcing Hyde to be at the front. Never to be seen again, never to return. His secret will disappear with him.

In order to “stabilize” their form, their body, and stop the sudden transformations, Jekyll doesn’t have to get rid of Hyde. He most likely can’t. But he can get rid of himself. He can certainly try, at least.

If Hyde will never stop fighting Jekyll, then he just needs to let him "win."

More than that, he can let Hyde take the fall for his own disappearance. Remember the will Lanyon found?

Lanyon straight up thought Hyde was blackmailing Jekyll because of this!

Picture it. In the public eye, if Jekyll disappears, or thought to have been murdered, and it looks like Hyde’s fault, that’s just unfortunate! Jekyll would simply be an innocent victim! Hell, the public might be inclined to show the Society sympathy because of it.

No secrets revealed, no ruined reputations. Hyde goes to prison, and that’s that. The Society itself is saved. All at the cost of both Jekyll and Hyde. And a good leader would do whatever is necessary…right?

The End.

This is Jekyll’s final, desperate gambit. And that’s my theory.

One final bit. See it as an afterword!

Lanyon seems about to rush in and try to stop Jekyll from whatever he’s doing in the office. But me, I think it’s already too late.

When he runs in there, all he’ll see is Hyde, and, perhaps, a broken mirror.

(That’s the other assumption I’m making about the panel with what’s supposed to be Hyde picking up glass shards. Just picture the drama of it all!!)

AND THAT’S ALL, FOLKS!!! Thank you for reading!!! :DDDDD

I’d love to hear what others think! What did I miss? What do you agree, or disagree, with? Feel free to tell me all of it! I love discussing what might happen next!!

EDIT: There is now an Addendum to this theory where I clarify some things I plain forgot to when I first posted it. PLUS, there's an EXTRA Exhibit I came up with later! Link to the comment here, in case it might get lost in the replies.

*******

That's where the original post ends! I'd like to say one more thing. I already addressed this in the Addendum, but I'd like to state it here too: this is ONLY a theory for what Jekyll's plan is. That was my intent, anyway.

By that I mean, I think this plan would FAIL in reality, in several key ways. Mainly, I think Lanyon and the others are going to intervene before Hyde would actually get arrested. Together, they may work to find a solution to both bring Jekyll back (if he's already deep in the unconscious) AND to keep their secret safe. I have hope they'd figure it out!

I'm also planning to post a more general thematic analysis of the whole comic, soonish. With a particular focus on the character arcs of Jekyll and Hyde. Look out for that! I'm still working it out, but it should be done sometime next week.

After that's done, I'm going to share my theories for how I ACTUALLY think the comic might end. Cause I sure as heck don't think it will end as I described above.

That's all! Thanks for reading!! :DDDDD

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

hiii!! Could i get a simple one shot where its specer reid x daughter(6) who had woken up with the flu in the middle of the night, and reid is just the best dad ever, if you can throw in a bed wetting scene as well, Lots of comfort i love your writting so much🤍

Request: hiii!! Could i get a simple one shot where its specer reid x daughter(6) who had woken up with the flu in the middle of the night, and reid is just the best dad ever, if you can throw in a bed wetting scene as well, Lots of comfort i love your writting so much🤍

This idea is adorable thank you for requesting!

Third person pov...

Spencer Reid was tired, the last case had been a hard one, in Las Vagas an unsub was kidnapping little children aged 4 to 8 and pretending that they were their parents, if the kid misbehaved or did something the unsub didn't want she would kill them.

She got through 8 children both boys and girls before the last victim little 6 year old esme, she had been kidnapped from the park near the unsubs hunting ground.

She was knocked out and kept the longest, a week later she managed to escape from the house, she had told the team she escaped when the unsub was taking a nap and forgot to lock one of the windows, covered in bruises and blood the little girl was saved and the unsub captured.

On the plane ride home Spencer was anxious to see his daughter, little Esme had remind him of his 6 year old safe home Virginia, the doctor was currently on the phone with the babysitter.

He sat drumming his left hand on the table waiting for the call to go through finally when the called connected he felt less anxious. "Hello Mr Reid" she said, Spencer relaxes slightly.

"Y-yes he-hello Mrs thorn, I'm calling to let you know I will be home by 1am, we have just left Las vagas" he explains to the babysitter, Mrs Thorn had been Y/Ns babysitter ever since she was a baby.

Spencer of course has a very demanding job and it always away on case from 2 days to almost 2 weeks, depending on the Unsub, he doesn't get to see existing daughter must when he does he spends every minute with her.

Only being 6 years old the little girl is very smart like her Daddy, she understood why he left her with Mrs Thorn alot, but I didn't mean he didn't love her just that he was busy saving other people from bad guys.

"Ooh that's great news Mr Reid, little Y/N has been missing you, she will be very happy to have you home" Exclaimed Mrs Thorn, Spencer grinned.

"I've missed her too, can you put her on for me ?" He askes hope in his voice, Mrs Thorn laughed slightly. "Of course I can, here she is- N/N its Daddy" Spencer can hear Mrs thorn say.

Then the unmistakable squeal of his daughter. "Daddy!! Daddy it's you" Exclaimed Y/N the little 6 year old had been given the phone to talk to her Dad.

Spencers smile widened at the sound of his daughters voice. "Hi sweetie, it's Daddy, I'm coming home" he says hearing Y/N squeal loudly in excitement at the news.

"Yayy! Daddy's coming home, you hear that Mrs Thorn!- yes I hear N/N- oh Daddy! I got a new book from the library" Little Y/N then spent the next hour telling her Father what she did the time he was away.

Hours later the plane finally lands, Y/N had fallen asleep telling her Dad what, she did almost two hours ago, throughout the time Spencer had noticed the team watching him with smiles on their faces as he talked tk his daughter.

Soon the group of 6 were walking to the bullpen to grab their stuff. "I cannot wait to get home and sleep I'm my bed" groaned Emily, JJ and Morgan agreeing with her.

Spencer grabbed bus go bag and normal bag and was making his way to the exit. "See you guys tomorrow, late start at 9 so relax a little before coming in" called Hotch from his office.

Soon Spencer was home, Mrs Thorn had left an hour ago after Y/N fell asleep, Spencer quickly opened and locked the door behind him as he walks in.

He tiptoes as silently as possible, taking of his shoes abd walking through the apartment, he puts down his bag, he pulls out the book he bought home for Y/N.

He goes to sit on to sofa but is stopped by crying, tensing Spencer looks to his daughters room. "N/N" he runs to her room and slams open the door. "N/N? Are you okay? It's daddy" he says to the dark room, the only light source being the night light.

"Daddy!" Sobs the little H/C haired girl, the 6 year old was currently kneeling on her bed, hair sticking up, rubbing her teary eyes as she cries.

Spencer walks over to her quickly, he shush the crying girl, picking her up and hugging her rocking back and forth trying to comfort. "Shh Shh it'd okay Baby, daddy's here daddy's right here " he whispers calmly in her ear.

After a while she stops, her sobs turning into sniffles, Spencer child feel his shirt soaked with tears but he didn't care, only comforting hid daughter mattered.

"Daddy" cries Y/N, Spencer shushes her again. "It's okay Baby" as he continues rocking thr 6 year old he finally notices the wet patch on her sheets where she was laying.

He then gently pulled the red eyed girl of his shoulder and infront of him, he then looked at the wet patch on her pj's. 'Oh no' he thinks.

"It'd okay N/N, you didn't mean to" he mutters, holding his daughter in one hand he pulled all the sheets of the bed, and started to run a warm bath for Y/N.

Rubbing her back thr Agent sat on the toilet to watch thr bath, bouncing Y/N as he did. "Daddy hurt" whispers Y/N her voice horse from crying.

Spencer then turned her around. "Where does it hurt N/N?" He asks, Y/N then point to her throat and head. Spencer the checks her forehead she does feel a little warm.

"Guess you got the Flu sweetie, don't worry after a nice warm bath I'll give you some medicine okay" he says to her, Y/N jsut nods as he turns the water off and puts her in it.

15 minutes later, Y/N is dressed in clean pj's and back in her Daddy's arms, idly sucking on her thumb as she waits for her Daddy to change her bed sheets and to get her some medicine.

Soon Spencer comes back, he had some kids medicine to her to take and he had changed thr bed sheets into new ones. "Here you go sweetie" he says and gives the medicine for her to take, once she did he picked her back up again rocking back and forth.

"Feeling better baby?" He asks the sleepy 6 year old, it was almost 3am at this point. Y/N doesn't answer only nods her head falling onto her Dad shoulder thumb still in her mouth.

The man sighs quietly. "She's falling asleep again" he whispers to himself, checking the time he goes to his bedroom knowing she won't be letting go of his now, the two get under the covers.

Y/N tucked securely under his arm, Spencer kisses her forehead. "Good night baby" he mutters against her still warm head though not as warm as before. "Night Daddy" comes the sluggish voice of thr 6 year old.

Soen soon finds himself following his daughter into the land of dreams.

The end!

Hope you liked this oneshot, I definitely enjoyed writing this, as usual sorry for spelling and grammar mistakes.

Request are open!

Word count: 1308

[devilfic]

❝right place, right time❞

II. of niceties and awkward second meetings.

parts: previously / next plot: bruce makes an offer you actually can refuse... at first.pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x gn!reader. cw: surgeon!reader, secret identities, slow burn, bruce wayne is still a masochist, bruce wayne is ALSO reckless :). words: 3.5k. edited: 2/28/24.

After every surgery—good or not so good—when you’re rinsing off and getting patted on the back for a job well done, you elect to feel hope. And then you hurry to lock yourself in your office and try to catch your breath.

The weight of a life on your hands follows you from room to room, from work to bed, from daydreams to night terrors. Even when it’s good, it rarely ever feels good. Questions bloat your brain: what if there’s something you missed? What if, despite it all, it’s not enough? Is the blood on your hands, then? Is the life yours to save or the patient’s to endure?

There was no solid answer. All you could do was wait for full recovery and try not to let it consume you.

Maybe tonight was a night for Thai. Maybe you’d call up your old roommates and get together at your place. Maybe you could finally tell them about the night Batman broke into your house, and how you stitched up his bullet wound, and then fell asleep 20 feet away because you had to meet Bruce fucking Wayne the very next morning and God help you if you embarrassed your boss by being late. So far, the only person who’d heard about it was the old lady who lived in the apartment below you, and all she’d done is pray for you.

You’d assured her you were fine, but she’d insisted on anointing your doors and windows before you left for work. The “demon of Gotham” she’d called him, herald of vengeance. The fact that you’d saved his life meant that you’d be spared in the reckoning... or whatever little old ladies learned in Sunday school.

Whatever she believed, you had no reason to think you’d be struck by lightning twice. Batman would not be returning to your home any time soon.

The thought almost made you sad.

There was no reason for him to return. Batman probably had a team of doctors waiting to tend to him if his arsenal of weaponry was any indicator of wealth. He wasn’t just any ol’ run of the mill vigilante, that was for certain.

You were just a blip. A freak accident. A glitch in the matrix. The chance that you’d been in the right place at the right time when Batman needed you most was just that: chance. And you were no gambler, but you could bet on your license that that man would never darken your doorstep (or window sill) again.

Maybe you’d stop by the liquor store too on your way home.

You’re rounding the corner when you collide with your boss, frantic as usual.

“Oh! Finally, there you are,” he grips your upper arms like a vice, eyes frenzied as they look you over, “why do you look like that?”

You imagine he’s referencing the dew of sweat on your skin and your scrubs out of whack. “I finished an operation fifteen minutes ago.” You answer, unimpressed. “I was just heading back to my office.”

Your attempt to sidestep him—to free yourself of the shackles that were his hands—proves useless. He spins to keep you in his grip, “You can’t! Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“You have a visitor.”

You frown, “A patient? No one’s on my schedule.”

“I’d like you to make an exception for this one.” His voice drops to a whisper. He readjusts your shirt sleeves as if dressing you up, prettying you for the highest bidder, and that sets you on edge, “Just trust me.”

You almost (almost) flinch away when he pushes you to your office door—now, a looming boulder instead of a gateway to your safe haven. Before you can even ask just who is waiting for you on the other side, your boss is rushing off down the hallway to do God knows what.

As if disarming a bomb, you slowly open the door to peek inside.

It scares the both of you, clearly, if the wide-eyed look he gives you says anything.

It’s like it hasn’t been a week since you’d last seen him. Bruce Wayne is wearing what looks like the same suit he’d worn last time, tie and collar stiff, jacket open underneath his billowy coat. But he looks awkward standing in your modest little office. He looks like he’s not supposed to be here, or at least not without his right hand man and the fanfare to follow.

He keeps his hands in front of him to show you he means no harm, “Your boss said it was okay to wait here for you.”

You’re still bracing yourself against the door, trying to figure out what he could possibly be doing in your office, what he’d possibly be waiting around for you for.

You think about the last time you’d seen him, when you’d grabbed him out of nowhere and his companion (Alfred, was it?) looked like he would have no problem breaking your spine if you dared manhandle him again. Oh God, he wasn’t going to sue, was he?

You swallow, “Uh, right. Can I help you?”

Bruce straightens up. His hands fall to his sides. You search his face to predict his next move but you’re puzzled to find that he’s just as clueless as you.

You didn’t know much about Bruce Wayne, that much had been established. What little you did know was some amorphous figure of nobility, the “prince of Gotham” as the press dubbed him.

Yet, standing before you in your simple little office, Bruce Wayne feels less like nobility and more like a stranger in foreign land. He keeps his hands in front of him and you’re able to make out purple dusting his knuckles. Bruised. Not bloody. Not recently. This piques your interest.

“How long have you been a surgeon?” Is his first question.

You slink into the room and debate on shutting the door, deciding to leave it open a crack; whether it is so you can escape or for him to feel unwelcome, you’re not entirely sure. “Four years. Not including the 12 years of school and residency.”

Bruce perks up just a tad to your bewilderment. “Did you study here in Gotham?”

“I did. I considered Metropolis.”

“What changed your mind?”

“Cheaper tuition.”

“Do you like it here in Gotham?”

“I don’t mean to be rude, Mr. Wayne,” your voice comes out clipped—nervous—all the same, “I just got out of a surgery and I didn’t even know you’d be here so I haven’t got the faintest clue what you want-”

“I’m sorry.” Bruce apologizes, “I can come back another time.”

Come back? You assess his face once more, double checking for any sign of where this conversation is going, “Come back for what?”

For the first time since you entered the room, Bruce takes a step forward. A few, actually, ‘til he’s standing only a foot away and his whole deer-in-headlights deal is on full display. “A proposition.” Your head swims with big ideas. You’re thankful you’re still standing still. “I’d like to hire you.”

If Em could see you, she’d be laughing her head off at the look on your face. The emotions you're hit with are akin to blunt force trauma.

Bruce catches onto your distress and begins to explain, glancing away from your eyes to give you room to breathe, “Due to the nature of my job and the... events that transpired last November, I’m careful about my position in the public eye. I’ve decided to have a doctor on call, someone I can rely on in the event that something drastic happens again. It would be more menial work, but you would, of course, be greatly compensated: full benefits, triple your salary here. Nothing is out of the question.”

As the last word melts in the air, he finally locks eyes with you. Less deer-in-headlights now, more spotlight. More "I eagerly await your response".

You couldn’t even fathom the price point: triple your salary? You already made good money here, any more would be excessive. And then there’s the reality of the situation. You would be employed, solely, by Bruce Wayne. At his beck and call—perhaps moved into a nicer place within chauffeur distance of Wayne Tower—the support staff of the upper echelon.

Your mom wouldn’t bug you about moving out of Gotham ever again.

This all felt too good to be true. So good that your intuitive pendulum swung violently in warning. Bruce awaits your reply, wringing his hands before him and those glaring purple knuckles catch your attention again. How a CEO had managed those was a question you hesitated to entertain. Something else was going on here.

You knew Gotham was a corrupt city. It festered with crime in every aspect, that much the Riddler had made clear last Halloween. The late mayor, the DA, the police commissioner... and amongst his targets, Bruce Wayne had survived. Something else was definitely going on here.

“...I serve the public, Mr. Wayne. I reserve my skill for the citizens of Gotham without the... ability to seek better. I’m flattered you would consider me and I would be more than happy to point one of my talented colleagues your way in my stead. But I’m sorry, I can’t accept your offer.”

Bruce’s face falls for just a second. After all, if he were to wear his emotions on his face all the time, you doubted he’d be much of a successful businessman.

You’re thankful that he takes a step out of your personal space and doesn’t fuss, doesn’t try to shove a wad of cash at you, doesn’t throw more offers at you until you concede. “I appreciate your consideration, but that won’t be necessary. I should let you return to your work. Thank you for your time.”

You nod a little dumbly, the weight of what has just transpired starting to settle fully on you. Em would be far too angry at you to laugh, now.

With the grace of his pedigree, Bruce Wayne nods silently to you and leaves.

You notice once the muscles in your shoulders stop shaking that there’s something in your office that wasn’t there before. There, on the loveseat where Bruce Wayne had waited for you, was a business card.

You shakily approach the seat and collapse beside it, reaching out to read what adorns the back of the Wayne Enterprises logo.

Bruce Wayne CEO P: 212-XXX-XXXX

It takes the clatter of ceramic to pull you out of your reverie.

Beside you, Em hovers, “And here I thought you weren’t a fan.”

At the puzzled look you give her, Em jerks her head toward where your eyes had been focusing, mindlessly stirring in the events of the afternoon. At some point, the TV’s channel had changed from Days of our Lives to the Gotham News. They were running a story on a charity event downtown. Bruce Wayne was shaking hands on camera, the tagline “Bruce Wayne makes dazzling appearance alongside controversial mayor”. How fitting.

“‘m not,” you grumble, pushing your lunch around in yellowed Tupperware, “just thinking.”

“About?”

You glance at Em. Too little too late, your boss had clambered into your office shortly after Bruce left, pestering you about the conversation you’d had, disappointed when you’d told him you’d turned down the offer. “Imagine the press we’d get, one of our very own working for the CEO of Wayne Enterprises,” he’d argued, “you’ve got to reconsider.”

You hesitated to tell your tale again, fearful that you’d suffer the same reaction, but Em was not your boss. She would never let the topic rest. And it wasn’t like you signed an NDA, a truth that had only hit you hours after the fact, “I got a job offer today.”

Em’s eyebrows shoot up, “From West Mercy? Arkham?”

The very thought of working in Arkham Asylum had you abandoning your lunch altogether, “God, no. It was more like... on-demand. Concierge. A very rich patient wanted to hire me as their private doctor.”

“Wow... was it one of your patients?”

“No, I’ve never examined him in my life.”

“Him?” You recognized that tone of voice. A slew of questions were on the way if you didn’t elaborate fast enough.

Besides yourself and Em huddled in a corner, the break room was relatively empty. One of the ER nurses was napping, another engrossed in a game of Sudoku on their phone. You doubted they would hear even if you raised your voice above a whisper.

Quietly, because you clam up at the thought of saying his name out loud, you fish out his business card and slide it across the table to her.

It takes her but a moment to process. First a deep inhale, then her hand slaps the table (the Sudoku nurse glances up at you both and then changes his mind), then she’s gripping at your scrubs and shaking you violently in your chair, “Shut the front door! Please tell me you said yes!”

You frown, “No, I didn’t.”

“Why the hell not? I know you don’t keep up with the times in this city, but this guy is loaded!”

“I do keep up with the times. I just don’t give a rat’s ass about Bruce Wayne. A crime punishable by death, apparently.”

“But why in the world would you want to keep working here when you could be... having lunch on a terrace? Discussing lab results over Pinot Grigio? Jetting off to the Bahamas to check his vitals on vacation?”

You snort, “Exactly what I told him: I serve the public. I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Could always do both.”

You tried to imagine it, for Em’s sake. The terrace lunches, the Pinot Grigio. You imagined the nice apartment from before and the esteem that your boss was sure you could bring the hospital.

And you imagined Bruce Wayne, with a limp. With bruised knuckles. Always looking at you with those big eyes that somehow told you everything and nothing at the same time. Like an open book in a dead language. You thought about the night that Wayne Tower caught fire and the world that had been crumbling down in Gotham had started to feel truly broken. Politicians die all the time, but the uber rich? Even you had watched the sky in horror.

And now that same man had asked you—you, of all people—to be there in case there was a next time.

You thought about the Batman. Would you say yes if he asked you the exact same question?

You hadn’t considered both.

You’re unaware that Em is leaving until her chair scoots loudly across the laminate, “Think on it. Seriously. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime.” Her hand brushes your shoulder fleetingly. Then she’s leaving and you’re left to think again.

It was a bit ironic that his next visit took place as you were perusing apartment listings.

You hadn't seen him get inside your home the first time. He’d just been there, as if he’d always been there and you just never noticed. This time, he doesn’t have the urgency to break in. He waits at your window… staring in at you. No knocking. Not even a muffled “Can I come in?”

You don’t know how he expects anyone to invite him inside their home with those kinds of manners. You set your laptop aside and walk over to the curtains, his figure becoming clearer, more menacing as eyes silently follow you. By the time you reach the window, your heart is beating at an unhealthy pace. You had been able to get that adrenaline down before. How did you manage that again?

Batman waits patiently. Your hand presses to the glass, the warmth of it leaving behind a visible print as you push up on the glass, “Don’t tell me,” his head cocks to the side as you begin, “another bullet?”

If he is suffering from a wound like the last, he doesn’t look it. He’s crouched on your fire escape with his cape billowing behind him and the light of your apartment giving off just enough of an ominous glow.

After last time, you’d sneaked some extra supplies back to your place under the paranoia that something might happen again. And, let’s be honest, no one would raise a brow at having everything you need to clean a gunshot wound in this city. You couldn’t say it was entirely just for him, though.

The silence goes on uncomfortably long. You start to wonder if he even heard you, the way he stares you down, unmoving. He resembles a stray caught stealing from a trashcan, seconds from sprinting in the opposite direction to avoid being caught.

Eventually, your heartbeat spikes again. What had he told you last time? To run if someone tried to break in? Maybe he had wanted you to sprint the second you saw a human looming on your fire escape, regardless of their vague bat shape. Was he angry? He kind of always looked angry.

“Have you noticed anyone following you?” His question causes just the briefest alarm.

Living on the not-greatest side of Gotham, you had learned how to keep your head down but your eyes everywhere. If some mugger were looking to jump you as you got out of your car, you’d know. You shake your head, palms beginning to sweat.

Batman assesses you for a bit longer. You can’t tell if he’s reading you for a lie or if his instincts are just telling him otherwise, but eventually, he accepts your answer.

And begins to leave.

“Wait,” you stutter out against your better judgement, when he’s already stood to his full height, one boot positioned on the railing to propel himself below. He looks over his shoulder at you very slowly, “how’s your... side? Wound heal okay?

He looks down to where you’d stitched him, where his armor had been mended. “It’s better.”

You sigh, relieved. “You’ve gotten it looked at, then.”

“Someone looked at it.”

His wording gives you pause. “What about your stitches? Did you get them redone?” He hesitates. “You... did get them redone, right? Better. Preferably by someone who wasn’t worried about you dying on their living room floor.” Your skin prickles when you see his guilty look. “Batman, if you’ve been fighting crime every night for the past week with the same stitches I put in you days ago-”

“I’ve been through worse.”

“So you keep saying.” You really don’t mean to grit your teeth at him, practically stomping your foot because you’d, at the very least, expected him to be a bit smart about a bullet wound.

But, then again, you were talking to a man dressed as a bat.

You crawl out onto the fire escape, chilly and biting and unforgiving as the night may be, and watch Batman turn halfway toward you. You have to resist the urge to brush your hand against his side, an act far too intimate with Kevlar in the way. You look up at him, “Don’t suppose you’d let me take another look at it?”

The first time, sure, he let you because he was close to dying. With a motto of “I’ve been through worse” at his disposal, you doubted he would let you do it again unless the circumstances were dire.

Sure enough, he moves defensively away from you. You take heart in that it seems less like he distrusts you and more like he’s got a bravado issue. Not great, but better. Easier to fix.

You think of the medical supplies in your apartment and wonder if you’ve got what it takes to coax him inside. “I thought that you might not come again. Guy like you fighting crime every night must have people on hand for stuff like this, right? You’re not just any vigilante. Couldn’t be.” His unsettling glare makes the cold seep into you just a little bit more, “You don’t. Do you?”

He doesn’t answer you. His eyes shift from yours to the cityscape. Looking for a way out, maybe.

But if he wanted to leave, he would leave. Why would he hesitate?

“I just want to look. Make sure it’s not infected. No poking or prodding, I promise.”

“It’s not. I had someone look at it.”

“A doctor?”

“...No.”

“Someone who knows what they’re looking at, at least?”

He looks down at you. There’s something there that he’s keeping close to his chest, too much information for a stranger (even one who’s saved his life). You wait to see what his decision will be. “You work at Gotham General.” Batman states, matter-of-factly.

“...I know you were bleeding to death when I told you, but you’ve got to keep up in this city.” You see a hint of a smile on his mouth that is just as easily written off as a scowl. “What about it?”

Again, that look.

Just as you’re certain that you’re about to break through to something, a siren goes off in the distance. Sure enough, when the both of you look to the sky, his emblem is carved out in the clouds, beckoning him down to the streets once more. Your heart sinks. You were so close.

Batman waits a beat, positioning himself on the railing again. His eyes find yours over his shoulder, cape fluttering with the promise of taking flight, “They’re lucky to have you.”

He leaves. It feels even colder when he does.

[lifeontoast]

hi hehehe so like i saw this prompt on tiktok wherein "A pediatrician has no idea that the baby comes to his office for daily check ups and like the child is theirs" he doesn't know that it's his child because the child is accompanied with by it's nanny and one day reader is the one who came becausethe nanny filed a day off :))

can u write a Carlisle for that, hc or imagine thank uuuuu!! have a great day ^^

(excuse my English, hehe.)

The Baby

 

Carlisle Cullen x reader

 

SUMMARY: one of Dr Cullen’s patients is the daughter of someone more familiar than he realises…

 

A/N: hello lovely anon! I am so terribly sorry that this took so long, but thanks very much for your request! Hope you enjoy :)

 

(By the way Y/C/N means your child’s name and they/them pronouns are used for your child)

 

…

 

You had to take Y/C/N to the doctor’s today for a check-up, as you gave your nanny, Sam, the day off. She’s been working so hard recently. 

 

It was a Dr Cullen they would be seeing, as they normally did. The name did ring a bell somewhere, but you just couldn’t think of where from. You took Y/C/N in the car, and they were quiet all the way. Luckily. They had a dreadful tendency to be car sick a lot of the time, so you were glad they were calm today. Sam always told you that Y/C/N loved Dr Cullen, and always laughed away whenever they had an appointment with him. Finally pulling into the hospital car park, you parked and got yourself and Y/C/N out of the car. You had no trouble at reception; all the nurses knew Y/C/N too, and cooed at them as they laughed away. You smiled.

 

Eventually, you were called into the doctor’s office. Suddenly, you realised why the name had sounded so familiar. There, sitting at his desk was Carlisle Cullen, the man who you had once had a fling with, a few years ago. You had almost completely forgotten about it, but immediately chastised yourself for doing so. How could you ever forget him? He was such a gentleman, and looked absolutely dashing that night you first met. 

‘Carlisle?’ you asked quietly.

‘Y/N?’ he replied, looking at you inquisitively.

You just looked at each other, neither of you daring to speak first, hearing only Y/C/N’s quiet babbling. You looked away, blushing. He gave you a gentle smile and bade you sit down. You did, and he began to ask you about how Y/C/N had been. They had been fine, and you told him so. He took them to the table to examine them.

‘I must say, Ms Y/L/N, this is a very pleasant surprise. I was expecting Sam, Y/C/N’s nanny. Of course, I knew that the mother’s name was Y/N Y/L/N, but I never dreamed it would be you. It has been so long since we last spoke; It seems I have missed you, without even realising it. You did look very beautiful that night.’

Blushing, you replied. ‘Well, Carlisle, I had no idea it was you who was Y/C/N’s doctor. I have never needed to visit the hospital, thank goodness. But I agree, it is lovely to see you again. We must catch up soon.’

‘They seem very healthy, Ms Y/L/N.’ he nodded, ‘I’d love to see you again soon, that sounds perfectly delightful. Are you perhaps free this Thursday? It is my only day off this week.’ 

‘Why yes, I believe I am, Carlisle. Shall we meet at the coffee shop? How does 11 o’clock sound? And please, call me Y/N.’

‘Perfect.’ He replied with a smile, writing up Y/C/N’s notes.

 

Suddenly, a thought entered your mind. You had met Carlisle 3 years ago, and Y/C/N was nearly 2 and a half. He couldn’t be, could he? There was only one way to find out. You decided to ask him outright – Carlisle preferred it when people spoke their mind clearly and directly to the point.

 

‘Carlisle? Do you think there is any chance that you could be Y/C/N’s father?’

He dropped his pen in shock.

‘Well. How long has it been now, 3 years? And Y/C/N is nearly 2 and a half?’ he said calmly, glancing at their file. ‘I suppose there is a chance, yes. You’re correct. We could organise for Y/C/N and I to take a DNA test, then we would be absolutely sure. Yes…’

‘A DNA test?’ you asked.

‘Yes, it’s a fairly simple procedure nowadays. I can enquire about making that happen, Y/N.’

You just nodded, but deep in your heart you already knew: Carlisle was definitely the father.

 

TIMESKIP: A FEW WEEKS LATER…

 

Here you both were, in Carlisle’s office once more. A plain, brown envelope lay between you on the desk. You both stared at it in silence. The contents of the envelope were the answer to the question you had asked Carlisle a few weeks ago.

‘You open, it Carlisle.’ You said, finally looking up at him.

‘No Y/N. I think you should open it.’ He countered, and sighing, you knew that he was right. You took the envelope with shaking hands and tore open the top. You drew out the sheet of paper, and glanced at it briefly, before taking a second, closer look.

 

Carlisle was the father.

 

…

 

A/N: as usual, thanks so much for reading! You guys rock!

[abbatoirablaze]

Criminal Minds, Season 1, Episode 15, Part 2

Word Count:  1.3k

Warnings:  nothing really

Vanessa Jareau

“Look, I’m sure he hasn’t forgotten about you, Ness...” Penelope frowned while you sat with her in her office, “they’ve been pretty busy on this case...I’ve barely heard from them as it is.”

“Yeah...I guess I shouldn’t take it personally.  I know that they’re busy with the reemergence of that serial killer after two decades,” you shrugged, “and while I know that the teams are busy on cases all the time, it just feels like he’s been avoiding me lately...I mean, ever since you gave him my extension number a few weeks ago anyways...”

“Why would he be avoiding you?”

“I don’t know...maybe I’m just in my head.” You shrugged once more, “I mean, the last time we talked, it seemed like everything was alright, right?”

“Yeah...you probably are in your head though.  You’re the only person I know that overthinks more than I do...well that and Ana,” she laughed, “think about it...have you heard from JJ either, because I haven’t heard from my sister and she’s on another busy case.”

“Not really,” you frowned, “and I mean, her and I usually talk every day...they’re probably just really deep into the case like you’re saying.  I mean, I got coffee with Samantha just the other day to talk with her about how she likes working at the Pentagon now, and she was telling me that she hasn’t talked to Hotch since they took the case or talked to her brother much either.”

“See, then you’re definitely in your head,” she laughed, “because I know for a fact that the good doctor and Hotch are always bouncing ideas off of Samantha.”

“Yeah...”

“Hey...come on.  I just helped you realize that you’re thinking too much about your little crush.”

“Spencer isn’t just a little crush, Pen...we’ve been talking almost every day...you know-“

“I know, I know,” she sighed, rolling her eyes, “ever since I gave him your direct extension.  I mean, it’s not that I don’t appreciate you coming down here all the time.  You’re literally my best friend, but sometimes I just want to be flirting with Derek when the team calls and bugging Ana about it, not listen to you and Reid.”

You couldn’t help but blush, “Pen!”

“And it’s not even really that I flirt with Derek-“

“You do-“

“Not seriously though,” she laughed, “I know that when push comes to shove, Morgan is head over heels with Ana.  I just do it because it’s habit...and he’s my other best friend.  Ana thinks it’s funny that I finally like someone she’s unofficially with.”

“I see how it is,” you teased, standing up from the second chair, “trading me in for the bigger, buffer model.”

She couldn’t stop the deep, belly-laughter as it erupted from her throat, “bigger, buffer model?  You mean, Tall, dark, and handsome.”

“What am I, chopped liver?”

“No, you’re my cute little chipmunk,” she smiled, squeezing your cheek, “my baby netizen sister from another mister.”

“You know what...I’m over this,” you smirked, sticking your tongue out at the woman as you teased her, “I’m going back to my office.”

She shrugged, “suit it yourself...we still good for takeout tonight?”

“Oh, you know it,” you smiled as you reached her door, “I need my daily dose of Garcia!”

She snorted as you left her office and took the short stroll down a few hallways until you reached your own.  You smiled upon seeing a book in the pocket of your door. 

“Alright, favorite author.”

“Oh, that’s a tough one!” you admitted, the pen tapping your lips as you tried to think quickly, “can we come back to that?”

You could hear his melodic laughter on the other side of the line and it sent butterflies fluttering around in your stomach.  

“Guys, I’m supposed to be searching for a suspect amongst my mountain of information,” Penelope teased, “come on Reid, give me more information.  What other parameters do you have that can narrow the list down?”

“Okay, fine...favorite book!”

“In Cold Blood by Truman Capote!” you said quickly.

“Flower?”

“Daisies!”

“Guys!” The both of you went quiet and Penelope rubbed her temples, “it’s not that I don’t appreciate both of you, but if you only planned on calling to talk to Nessa, you could have called her extension, Dr. Reid.”

“I’m sorry, I-“

“It’s 4295,” she said, cutting him off, “now, if you don’t have any other information for me to cut down the list, go and find it.  I’ll await your call!”

And with that, she pressed the disconnect button on her phone rather hard with the end of her fluffy pen.  You looked at her, gasping, “Pen!”

“What?” she asked, her face ever so slightly flushed.  You frowned, noticing that she was annoyed “he clearly didn’t call because he had a lead on anything.  He just wanted to flirt with you!”

“But I-“

“Look, you two are adorable, really, you are.  But we also have a job to do.  They’re working an active case,” she pointed out, “and I don’t need for him to be anymore distracted than he already is.”

You frowned, thinking about it, “you’re right.  I’m sorry, Penelope.”

She gave you a sad look, “look...that’s why I gave him your extension...the two of you don’t need me to be the person between it, playing mediator or wingman, or whatever.  Just talk to him one on one.”

“I-I want to...”

“Well now there’s no reason not to!”

You couldn’t help but feel giddy when you reached for the book, only to stop yourself when you heard someone clearing their throat to your left.  Looking over, you saw that it was one of the other guys that worked in the building.

JT. 

He’d worked in cyber crimes. 

Your smile faltered ever so slightly, “oh hey, JT.”

But he was grinning ear to ear, not even aware of how unenthusiastic you were in the reaction to him.  None of it had seemed to matter to him as closed the distance between the two of you and he pulled you into a hug.

“How have you been?” he asked, leaning in to kiss you on the cheek.  You shied away, making sure to put some distance between the two of you, only for him to give you a hurt look, “what’s wrong?”

“Please don’t do that!” JT, “I-I don’t feel comfortable with that kind of interaction.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, “all I did was hug you and give you kiss on the cheek.”

“D-did you leave this book  in my pocket?”

He frowned and his brow furrowed, “what?  No!  That kind of story is disgusting...I-I would never do something like that.”

“Disgusting?” you asked.

“Yeah...I mean, don’t you get enough of that stuff when you work?” he asked, practically sneering at the book, “whoever put that in your book pocket is sick!”

“Maybe you should go away, JT!”

His brow furrowed even more, “I-I didn’t put that book in your pocket.  Honest.  I haven’t even-“

“JT, please... Leave me alone.”

With another glare he muttered something about you being uptight but left without incident.  When you turned around and leaned against the door, you reached up and held the book in your hands. 

It had to be from him.

Holding it to your chest, you sighed.

He may not have called you, but he left something for you.  Something that you had only spoken with him about.

Did Garcia put it in your door’s pocket for him since he was away?

Was this his way of saying that he was thinking about you?

As a million thoughts raced through your head and you made up your mind to speak to Garcia about it, you stopped dead in your tracks when you saw a bouquet of daisies sitting on top of the trashcan. 

Those weren’t there when you’d walked past it a few minutes ago.

S1, E16

[hello-nichya-here]

Zucest - Age Regression

Notanon asked: So, given that:

1) you already had them playing house,

2) Azula is the spoiled brat, but also the more emotionally and psychologically vulnerable,

3) I have a guilty pleasure for loving and doting Zuzu taking care of scared, broken and vulnerable Lala:

I now have this post Agni-Kai headcanon, where Azula remains catatonic for a couple of days after her defeat and then suffers a psychological age regression: She curls up in a ball crying and saying in a small voice she is scared and she wants mommy and daddy and Zuzu. At first neither Zuko nor the doctors can understand what's going on, until one of the doctors has the proverbial lightbulb go off in his head and asks her how old she is. Azula timidly lifts a fully open hand, indicating she thinks she's five years old. Zuko realizes that this is before she even knew she could firebend, and consequently before Ozai started ruining her.

To add to the misery, the doctors confirm that no, it's not an act to manipulate Zuko and yes, she really thinks she's five, but she's super scared because, while she does remember some fragments and distorted parts of the last nine years, she thinks they were just a bad dream, but Zuko himself (with the scar and being more than twice the age he should be in her mind) is physical proof that her bad dream was real and it's making her even more confused and scared.

In other words, now Zuko has a real head-scratcher to deal with. How does he go about it? Take it away!

***

Oh. My. God. I love this. I love everything about this. Warning: it got kinky in the end because I'm me.

At first, Zuko is only gonna hold Azula close, rub her back and tell her in a soothing voice that everything is okay now, and that no one is going to hurt them. That the doctors just want to help her get better and that she'll understand everything once she does. That he is making sure mom will be back soon, safe and sound. Azula then asks about dad, to which Zuko awkwardly says that Ozai is... recovering too, and if things work out she'll be allowed to see him.

Obviously he doesn't really WANT to let Azula see their father, especially not in this condition, but she wouldn't have calmed down otherwise and it's not like Ozai will ever even want to recover, so that reunion is never gonna happen.

Azula relaxes a bit, but it quickly becomes clear that, for her to feel truly safe (or safer) she'll need to be in the palace, so Zuko just has the doctors take of her at home instead of at the hospital. His intention was for her bedroom to be her hospital room, but she refuses to sleep alone, so Zuko lets her spend the night with him, assuming that after a few days or weeks she'll feel safe enough by herself.

But she doesn't. And when they finally find Ursa and she's offering to let Azula stay with her, Azula refuses. She remembers almost anything, but it's clear that some of part of her still resents Ursa and doesn't feel comfortable getting any help from her, even if it's clear she likes the attention. Without much of a choice, Zuko resigns himself to being her guardian, trying to take care of her every need.

At first, he struggles to properly manage his time, since he has a ton of new responsibilities as Fire Lord, but eventually he gets a handle on it, especially whenever one of his friends shows up to give him a helping hand. And since Azula insists on following him around pretty much everywhere, reading or drawing on his office as he takes care of his political role, one day, without thinking, she ends up offering a great solution for a matter Zuko had been discussing with one of his advisors.

She seems to confused as to what exactly came over her, and it scares her a bit, but Zuko just picks her up and spins her around, kissing her cheeks and praising her, overjoyed that some of her old self seems to be resurfacing after so many months. His mother is a bit worried, since Azula's old self wasn't exactly easy to handle, but he doesn't even care. They've gotten so close that he is sure that once she fully recovers she won't go back to hating him, at least not fully, and that they'll find a way to be on good terms.

Their routine continues as normal, much to the doctors' disappointment, as they were all hoping Azula would start having more instinctive moments like that and start acting her again, but Zuko doesn't mind it one bit. He makes sure she's always getting enough food, sleep, therapy sessions, everything. He reads her a story every night and helps her bathe and dress up every morning. Whenever there's a thunderstorm, he lets her cling to him for comfort, no matter where they are or what he was doing. He even spoils her a bit, giving her anything she wants - sweets, books, toys, pretty clothes, etc. 

And as difficult as it is, he tries to be honest when Azula asks things like "Why isn't Lu Ten around?" or "Did dad give you that scar?" He can tell that, if he lies to her about happened, she'll stop trusting him, and even though the answers upset her, he always manages to soothe her. 

When he and Mai break up for the final time, amicably, Azula offers to be his new girlfriend so he won't be sad. Zuko chuckles and tells her that siblings don't date. He doesn't think much of her offer, assuming it's just a classic case of a child (well, "child" in this case) not understanding the difference between familial and romantic love. He is sure it's fully innocent.

He has no idea that what made Azula suggest that were strange thoughts she's been having, in which she pictures him kissing her and asking to marry her. They feel familiar, but not as vivid as events like their Agni Kai (which Azula doesn't yet have the courage to ask about), so she's unsure if they are memories of real events or of some daydream of hers.

Once it's been almost a full year since her breakdown, Azula instinctively creates a small, orange flame in the fire place during a rainy night, and Zuko is about to celebrate - until he notices Azula is clearly about to panic. That simple action led to dozens of unpleasant memories flooding her head - harsh firebending instructors, demanding teachers at the Fire Nation's royal academy for girls, Ozai's overwhelming expectations of her, and, of course, some battles she's been in. Zuko promises her that none of it will ever happen again, but this time Azula doesn't calm down until he's singing her an old song that Ozai used to sing for them, back when he was still putting in the slightest effort into being a good father. She falls asleep, but is still shaken the next morning. 

After that incident, her behavior becomes a bit inconsistent. When she isn't thinking much, she acts like she's around 10 years old, so still very much a child, but not as dependent on Zuko as before. But whenever she catches herself acting like that, she deliberately tries to act like she's 5, out of fear that Zuko will distance himself from her if he believes she doesn't need him as much. The doctors notice and tell him to try and stablish some boundaries.

But he can't. Each time she puts on that facade of helpless little princess that desperately needs her older brother (who is basically her father at this point) to take care of all her needs, he immediately folds. He does still try to encourage her to practice her bending again, and eventually she accepts, finding it quite enjoyable since for once there's no expectation for her to be perfect. It eventually gives her the confidence to not act like she's that much younger (though she still slips every now and then) and by the time of her 16th birthday, she's pretty much behaving as she did when she was 12 - once again, younger than her actual age, but making progress.

This, however, comes with the awkward consequence of Azula remembering some of her more... inappropriate thoughts towards her brother. She finds herself struggling not to stare when he's firebending without a shirt, or wearing clothes that make him look really good. Every night, when they go to sleep, she can't help but fantasize about kissing and touching him. As her treatment progresses, her fantasy self becomes more and more bold.

By her 17th birthday, the doctors consider her fully recovered - even if she insists on the facade that she's "too scared" to sleep alone. They once again remind Zuko to set some boundaries, and then leave the palace for good.

That night, Azula cannot help herself and kisses Zuko when he pulls her into his arms for a hug. He is shocked at what she's done and horrified at how his body reacted. He had fantasies about sleeping with her pretty much from the moment they were reunited after three long years, but her breakdown and the vulnerable position she had been in for so long after it had kept his lust dormant, and Zuko had naively assumed that his "unnatural" desire was dead.

He keeps trying to resist, telling her that this is wrong, and insisting that it would be taking advantage of her, even as she swears to him that she already wanted this long before he had to basically become her parent - but, of course, he eventually gives in and makes love to her. The morning after, he tells that it will never happen again.

It happens again that very night. And the night after that, and the night after that, and the night after that, until Zuko eventually stops kidding himself and just accepts that he's a freak. It was all the permission Azula needed to practically demand that he acts like her "daddy" again each time they have sex - and even when they're not. Zuko HATES how much it turns him on, as he feels it is tainting the genuinely innocent moments they had shared during her recovery, but Azula enjoys it so much that he cannot be bothered to keep judging himself for it.

He touches her each time he "helps" her bathe and get dressed. On some nights, he reads or sings to her before bed, and on others they just make love until they fall sleep. He'll "punish" her with spankings each time she misbehaves or does something wrong when firebending. He makes her indulge in every perverse fantasy he can think of in exchange for giving her gifts. 

He feels like the sickest man alive and he's never been happier, and Azula has never felt so adored in her entire life.

[heartshattering]

I'm not 100% back yet, I'm just popping my head in to vent because I'm so frustrated and it's really taking a toll on me mentally and emotionally...

So last Thursday the person I talked with at the hospital promised to get the prescription issue solved by the end of the day, and it still hasn't. It's going to be almost two weeks of this shit where I call the doctor's office and someone there tells me "We'll leave a note telling him to reauthorize the prescription and it'll be ready for you soon" and then checking with the pharmacy and finding out they still haven't received anything from him.

I've been panicking so hard... I don't actually have any withdrawal symptoms or anything, but it's the anxiety and uncertainty of not having my meds that has me feeling so nervous. When I talked to the pharmacy today, their advice was for me to call the paramedics on myself because I can't drive to the hospital but it sounds like the only way I will get this resolved is by going to the emergency department. I don't feel like I'm in an emergency situation YET but like I said my anxiety has been so fucking bad and keeping me frozen in place, I cry at night when I'm alone with my thoughts (like now). I suffer from health related phobias and my mind keeps giving me worst case scenarios where I end up in the hospital or just die, it doesn't have to be logical for my brain to believe it and convince me that it's 100% going to happen.

I just never thought I'd end up in a situation like this. I guess I was foolish and trusted doctors way too much. I'm responsible with my meds and try to stick to a low dose when I take them. I made sure to schedule the appointment early enough that I'd still have some medication left since I know there can be mix-ups and delays when it comes to prescriptions sometimes but honestly, almost 2 weeks of this already and still no help at all?

I've heard every excuse in the book, from "There must be an error with the computer system" to "There's another profile for you with a different address so maybe it ended up there" (both suggestions turned out wrong). It's so obvious how little the people who are supposed to be helping me with my health"care" actually do "care". I just feel like a piece of shit no one wants to deal with.

I hate this and I feel so fucking alone and scared... the days have just been a blur, it feels like I've just been wasting hours on bullshit phone calls and trying unsuccessfully to keep myself distracted. Everything hurts so much. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to be off meds yet... I'm sorry I was so weak I had to be put on them to begin with and never "got over" the trauma that caused them to get prescribed to me. I just hate myself so fucking much and feel like all I do is just make myself and other people miserable with my existence.

[whatthetumblfck]

That’s My Girl

Summary: You want nothing more than to go on missions, but being sidelined leads to disastrous consequences.

Word Count: 5810

Warnings: swearing, torture, injuries, whump, whump, whump

Content: This is another Bucky x reader whump fic. Some angst, some fluff if you look hard enough. Use of Y/N.

Please don’t claim my work as your own. Enjoy!

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You stiffened in your seat, your body becoming tense with anger. So, this is why they called you into a last-minute meeting.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” You shifted your gaze from the table up to where Steve and Tony were standing. You suddenly felt like a child that had been sent to the principal’s office. You were being punished. You stared at them awkwardly, almost waiting for them to break and tell you this was just a joke. But the silence continued.

Steve averted his eyes first. “Y/N, you’re still healing.  We don’t think it’s safe for you to be--.”

“The doctor cleared me for active-duty last week, Steve!” You almost felt bad for yelling, but this was completely unfair.

“I know, but we can’t ri--.”

“No, Steve! I’m going on this mission!” You said decisively, even though you knew you were losing the argument.

“I’m sorry, kid.” Tony chimed in. “But you’re benched for now. Wanda and Clint are handling this one.”

You opened your mouth to press your case, but quickly closed it. There was no changing their minds, especially Tony’s. You pushed your chair back from the table with both hands and stood abruptly.

You took a deep breath to compose yourself, wiping all emotion from your face and voice. “Fine.” You gave them each one last look before turning and walking quickly out of the meeting room.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

You made your way back to your room and slammed the door shut. You can't believe they're doing this to you. You were dressed in your tactical gear, literally about to leave for the mission and then they pull this shit. You changed out of your tac suit and into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. They may be able to stop you from going on missions, but they can’t stop you from training.  You heard a gentle knock on your door. Trying to pull on your sneakers, you hobbled over to the door and opened it, surprised to see Bucky standing there, leaning against the frame with one arm. He brought his gaze from the floor and a gentle, lopsided grin appeared on his face as his eyes met yours.

“Hey…” He entered the room, eyes taking in your appearance.

“Hey. Since when do you knock?” You replied, defeat becoming apparent in your voice.

He shrugged. “How did the meeting go?”

“They’re fucking ‘benching’ me.” You were trying hard to keep your emotions in check.

“For how long?” Bucky asked.

“I don’t know. They didn’t say.” You said, starting to feel completely dejected.

Bucky stepped closer to you, brushing a few lose strands of hair out of your face. “Maybe it’s for the best. It has only been 6 weeks. This gives you a little more time to heal.”

“Bucky! I’m fine! The doctor cleared me last week!”

“Y/N, sweetheart, you took a major hit to your head—”

“I know, Bucky, but I’m fine!”

“You were unconscious for 2 days!” Bucky threw his hands in the air for emphasis.

“I can’t believe you’re taking their side on this!” Your anger started bubbling to the surface.

“I’m not taking anyone’s side.” Bucky tried to bargain. “You’re not ready yet. Just a few days ago, you barely bumped your head while we were sparring and ended up with a migraine!”

You paused, staring at him in disbelief, finally understanding. “Oh my God. You’re the one who’s benching me,” you accused.

“Y/N….”

“You’re the one who told them I’m not ready! How could you do this?! You know how much this means to me—how hard it’s been sitting on the sidelines, mission after mission! Feeling completely useless!” You were screaming now, your anger forcing tears into your eyes.

“I know going on missions means a lot to you, but your health and safety are far more important. I can’t stand the thought of something happening to you, especially because you went back into the field too soon. I love you. You mean everything to me.” Bucky reached out to take your hands in his, but you pulled away, backing away towards the door. You shook your head at him, tears now streaming down your cheeks.

“If that were true, you would believe me when I tell you that I’m fine. You would give me a chance to prove myself. You wouldn’t try to take this away from me.” You grabbed your coat and purse, turning back towards the door. You felt his hand grab your wrist as you reached for the doorknob. “Let me go, Bucky.” You demanded without looking at him.

“Where are you going?” He sighed, sounding exhausted.

“None of your damn business. Let me go.” You ripped your arm from his grasp, and he let you.

“Y/N, please don’t leave.”

You barely heard him as you slammed the door in his face.

It was getting colder, and the dry fall air nipped at the exposed skin of your face. You flipped up your collar and shoved your hands into the pockets of your coat. You had been wandering the streets of New York for a few hours now, fruitlessly trying to clear your head. Even though your anger had dimmed, you couldn’t shake the lingering feeling of your own worthlessness, and you couldn’t bring yourself to go back to the tower, to your home, and face Bucky.

As you continued to walk, you allowed your thoughts to take you to the past. Every once in a while, they liked to remind you of your insecurities; reopen old wounds and rub salt in them. It wasn’t like your parents ever abused you. You always had clean clothes and food on the table, but they weren’t the most supportive people on the planet. Nothing you ever did was good enough. It didn’t matter how hard you worked or how perfect your grades were in school; it would never be enough to earn a simple ‘good job’ and certainly not a ‘we’re proud of you’. But there were occasions when you would forget to do the dishes or sweep the floors before they got home from work, and they would call you ‘worthless’ and ‘good for nothing’. They were simple words and if they came from anyone other than your parents, you would simply let them roll off your back. But you were born and raised with the mindset of pleasing them. As you grew up and moved away from them to go to college, you slowly learned how to place value in yourself and not at the hands of others. But sometimes, no matter how hard you tried to avoid it, you couldn’t help feeling like you weren’t good enough. Worthless.

You couldn’t help feeling that same worthlessness for the past 6 weeks following your injury. You were very fortunate not to have any lasting neurological damage after taking a significant blow to the back of your head. You barely remember what happened, but apparently you were outnumbered in your section of the base and Bucky couldn’t get to you in time. You became overwhelmed in the fight, and a random HYDRA thug got the upper hand and threw you off your feet, forcing your head to collide with a cinder block.  The story is barely glorious, and the goon wasn’t even a super-soldier. When Bucky recounted the events for you, you remember thinking: if you were going to almost meet your untimely demise, you would at least want a cooler story to go along with it. He wasn’t amused.

As your thoughts circled back to Bucky, you felt anger again, and something else you now identified as betrayal. It was terrible knowing that Steve and Tony didn’t trust you to go on missions anymore, but even worse was that Bucky didn’t either. He didn’t think you were capable after the events of the last mission. How are you supposed to get past this? This is your job, your life. If you can’t do this, then what good are you for anything? You pulled out your phone to find 6 missed calls and 5 text messages, all from Bucky. Choosing to ignore them, you texted your friend instead. She had always offered her apartment to you if you needed it and she often traveled for work. This seemed like a perfect opportunity to take her up on her offer.

It was only 6:30pm, but it was already dark outside when you slid the spare key into the lock of your friend’s apartment. You were greeted with silence and the soft glow of city lights peeking through the curtains. For the first time that evening, you felt like you could take a deep breath.  You helped yourself to a glass of wine (or two) and settled in front of the TV, searching for the first thing you could find that would sufficiently keep your mind off of things.

It wasn’t quite 7:30pm when you heard an urgent knock at the door. What in the actual fuck? Your friend lives alone and is hardly ever home. Who randomly shows up like that? (Except for you, of course) Being a paranoid person by nature and profession, you stealthily moved from the couch and approached the door. You didn’t have a sidearm due to your hasty and unplanned departure from the tower earlier. You mentally cursed at yourself but proceeded to look through the peephole. Steve?

A look of clear annoyance and partial disbelief washes over your face as you open the door.

“What are you doing here, Steve?”

“We have been looking for you for hours.” He almost seems apologetic but mostly relieved.

“We?” You shift your focus to peer behind him, seeing no one else.

“Bucky and me. He’s not here. He’s checking that bar across town you like to go to.”

“How did you even know to look here?” You said, crossing your arms without spilling your wine.

Steve looks guilty now. “Well…uh…SHIELD kept records of all your contacts….”

You were confused now and narrowed your eyes at him. “I never listed this friend or location as a contact…”

“Yeah….” Steve trailed off, scratching his head, hoping you would connect the dots and he wouldn’t have to say it.

“Jesus Christ. So, what? They have agents tracking agents now? Why the fuck—how do—” You were at a loss for words and wanted nothing more than to end this conversation quickly and get back to your solitude.

“Look, Y/N, I’m sorry about earlier, but Bucky has a point. If you’re still having headaches, you should see the doctor again. It would be in your best interest if—”

“It would be in my best interest,” you began, gritting your teeth, “if you left. Tell Bucky you found me and I’m fine. Both of you can go home.”

He sighed in defeat. “Okay. Okay. Just…be safe. He just worries about you, you know; we all do. And I can’t guarantee that he won’t show up here.” He gives you a tight-lipped smile.

You moved to close the door. “Good night, Steve.”

Approximately 45 minutes later, just when you thought you were in the clear, you hear another knock on the door. This time, it was gentler. Bucky. You rise from the couch, wine glass in hand, foregoing the stealth and paranoia you employed earlier. You fling the door open, fully prepared to tell Bucky off, but you can’t. He isn’t here. Instead, you’re met with a fist flying towards your face. It happened so fast; you didn’t have time to react.

The fist angrily makes contact with your mouth, splitting your bottom lip and knocking you to the ground several feet back. The wine glass shatters on the floor, splattering its contents. You’re stunned and can’t seem to make yourself move. It feels like your mind is running in slow motion and you can’t keep up with the events happening around you. Your vision catches a large, dark figure moving towards you and, suddenly, you’re back up to speed. You spit out the blood that was pooling in your mouth and wiped your chin with the back of your hand. Glaring at the figure approaching you, you prepare to defend yourself this time. You pull up your knee, priming yourself to deliver a kick, when you feel someone else grab a fistful of your hair from behind you. What the fuck? How did I miss a second attacker? You’re jerked up by your hair until you’re barely on your feet before feeling your body being hurled across the room, your abdomen slamming into the corner of a coffee table. The pain exploding from your mid-section is making it harder for you to right yourself. You barely have time to wonder who the hell these guys are and what the hell they want before you feel the familiar sting of that fist in your hair, once again pulling you to your feet. This time he brings your face close to his. His hot breath invades your nostrils, almost making you gag. It only gets worse when he speaks.

“Fucking Avenger? My ass. This is too fucking easy.”

So, you were targeted. That was your last thought before your face struck the wall and everything went dark.

 It was 9:30pm. Bucky had debated going to the apartment to see you. He knew where you were and that you were safe. He kept telling himself that you just needed some time to calm down. But he hated not having you there with him, especially when you were upset. His resolve broke and he needed to see you.

As he approached the door to the apartment, he noticed it wasn’t completely closed, leaving a few millimeters of space before it would have clicked shut.

“Y/N?” he asked cautiously before slowly pushing the door open and peering inside.

It was dark, but the TV was still on. He stepped forward and froze when something crunched beneath his boot. Panic rose in his chest when he saw the broken remnants of your wine glass. Crouching down, his eyes scanned the floor until they landed on something much more terrifying. Blood.

“Y/N?” he tried again, praying you would answer. When you didn’t, he leapt to his feet and began frantically searching the apartment for you. You weren’t there. The only indication you were actually there was your purse and your cell phone untouched on the couch. Fuck. FUCK! His thoughts were racing. What happened? Where were you? This couldn’t have been a robbery gone wrong because everything else is untouched, including your purse and phone. You must have been a target, but for whom? And why? Who else could have possibly known you would be there? Bucky whips his head towards the kitchen when he hears paper rustling. A breeze. The window is open, and, in his panic, he hadn’t noticed. As he cautiously approached the window, he cringes as he sees more blood smeared on the windowsill. Bucky swallows hard, pushing down the bile that had risen in his throat. Suddenly, his phone rings, startling him.

“Steve…she’s gone.”

“I know. Buck…you need to get back to the tower. Now.”

“What?” How could he possibly—

“There’s something you need to see.”

 Bucky felt sick. Again. Tony pulled up a holographic view of the video, showing you in an empty room made of concrete. You sat in a chair with your hands tied behind your back. Your hair, messy and damp, hung down in front, obscuring your face. As the video played, everyone was silent. They didn’t know what to say. They couldn’t even tell if you were alive. But you had to be, right? They wouldn’t have sent a video if you weren’t. They wanted something.

Steve broke the silence. “So, what do they want? Is there anything else to the message?”

“No, that’s it. Just this video. No demands. Nothing.” Tony said, nervously tapped his fingers on the table.

“We have to find her.” Bucky finally spoke. He sounded distant, detached. His knuckles were white from clenching his fists. “Tony, can you check footage from traffic cams? Local businesses?”

“I already have FRIDAY on it,” he replied. And as if she were responding to a cue, she alerted them to her findings.

“Boss, I believe I may have found Miss Y/L/N’s location.”

They all rushed to the location FRIDAY had indicated, but you weren’t there.

 The first thing you noticed was the sound of water dripping. The steady rhythm was soothing, almost enough to lull you back to sleep, but the cold biting at your bare feet brought you all the way back to consciousness. Your eyelids were heavy as you tried to look around the unfamiliar surroundings. It was dark, but you could tell the walls were concrete and the air smelled damp and musty. It reminded you of an old dirt basement. What the hell? You struggled to remember what happened. Your head was pounding, and you couldn’t think straight, couldn’t remember…anything about how you got here. There was a metallic taste in your mouth, and you squeezed your eyes shut, fighting off a sudden swell of nausea.

The sound of footsteps brought your attention to your right. A sudden bright light assaulted your eyes, your head feeling like it was splitting open. Shadows violently danced around the room as a single light bulb was switched on, swinging back and forth over your head. It was too much. You twisted your body, fighting against the restraints that held you to the chair, and emptied the contents of your stomach onto the floor.

“It’s nice to see you’re awake, Y/N.” The foreign voice echoed in the empty room.

Your chest heaved as you tried to recover your dignity. You now noticed the pair of boots standing next to you and wondered how long they had been there. “Who the fuck are you?”

“My name isn’t important. We are one. We are everywhere. Cut off one—”

“Yeah yeah, I’ve heard this before and I don’t care. What the fuck do you want?”

Then you heard a noise cut through the air and you knew exactly what it was: the static crackling of electricity from a stun gun. Fuck. Oh fuck. You tried to maintain your bravado, but your stomach squirmed in anticipation of the pain to come.

You forced yourself to relax your facial expression. “Torture? That’s it? That’s your game plan? Because I’m going to be honest with you, it’s been done before and if you think—”

“I WANT YOU TO SUFFER! Every. Single. One of you. They’re going to watch you die. And after they’ve buried you, I’ll move on to the next. One by one until all the Avengers are dead.”

You fought back a chill and then heard a click. Turning your head, you saw a blinking red light in the corner. How long have those bastards been recording you? The door opened and three burly men entered, encompassing you, awaiting the signal to begin.

You shut your eyes and tried to steady your breathing. You were no stranger to pain. This wasn’t even the first time you’ve been tortured. You can handle this. They will find you. You can handle this. You can handle this. You can ha—

Your mantra was interrupted by a sudden burning pain in your stomach as the stun gun was jammed into your ribs. It stole your breath away as your body convulsed. It stopped only long enough for you to take a breath before it started again. This time lasting longer. Your stomach lurched at the smell of your flesh burning.  They shocked you repeatedly; you lost count how many times. The burning pain became unbearable. You could barely catch your breath and dark spots began to coat your vision like splotches of ink until they overcame you completely and the pain faded into the background.

You awoke again some time later. You couldn’t tell if it was night or day. If it had been hours or days or weeks. You honestly didn’t know. What you did know is that you were cold and tired and in pain. Why weren’t they coming for you? Did they even know you were missing? Why would they? You told them to leave you alone and now look where you are. The flashing red light in the corner caught your attention again. Could they see you now? Or would they only know what happened after they had already killed you?  Your reverie was broken by the sounds of whispers just outside the door. A shiver ran up your spine and you braced yourself as best you could when the door swung open.

The onslaught began quickly this time, with no words being exchanged. The first blow landed on your stomach, knocking the wind out of you. More blows landed on your arms, thighs, and face. Your head hung weakly. You could barely comprehend the pain and yet it was all you knew. This was different from any other torture you’ve ever endured. They didn’t want information. They didn’t want anything other than pain and suffering and death. You felt yourself slipping into unconsciousness again; you welcomed the reprieve, but suddenly there was a new pain. The sharp pain of a knife sliding under your ribs, and it made you gasp. You wanted to scream but you couldn’t. No sound would come out as you opened your mouth, the pain stole the air from your lungs.

When they felt they had sufficiently beat you into a weakened enough state, they cut the ties that bound you to the chair and you hit the ground with a sickening thud. Your hands immediately found their way to the stab wound that was already trickling blood into your shirt. You pulled your knees closer to your chest in an attempt to relieve the pain and laid your head back against the cold, hard floor. Your vision swam as you looked in the direction of your attackers. You were barely holding on as it was when you saw a large boot appear in your vision. The kicked landed on the side of your head and you were out before you even realized what had happened.

 “This doesn’t make any sense. They should have given us demands or something by now. Anything!” Steve slammed his fist onto the table. It’s been 48 hours since you were taken.

“We reviewed the traffic cam footage and flagged the vehicle we think she was taken in. FRIDAY has been scanning everything in real time. When she gets a hit, she’ll let us know,” Tony offered.

Bucky didn’t say a word as he sat leaning forward in his chair, his head in his hands. He couldn’t help but assume the worst. He knew why there weren’t any demands. They already had what they wanted. He fucked up. He never should have let you leave the tower. Hell, you would have been better off going on that mission.  

Without warning, the various screens littered around the tower flickered to life. All of them playing the same video: you, being burned and beaten. Tears gathered in Bucky’s eyes. He couldn’t stand to watch you suffer, yet he couldn’t look away. You’re still alive.

Tony didn’t miss a beat. “FRIDAY, find the source, now!”

“I’ve got it, boss. It’s coming from an abandoned business warehouse, 6 blocks from here.”

Bucky shot up from his seat with renewed hope. They weren’t able to trace the last video. Someone made a mistake. This must be it. He spared one last glance at the screen; at you, strapped to the same chair as 2 days before. He rushed out of the tower with Steve at his heels.

Bucky and Steve quietly approached the back entrance, finding a steel door with a padlock. Steve broke the lock with his shield. They’re not sure what they expected, but it certainly wasn’t this. There was nothing. It was a large empty room. It wasn’t even concrete as the video had depicted. Bucky’s heart sank. It was another dead end.

“No. No no no. She has to be here,” Bucky pleaded, his eyes desperately searching the room.

“Buck….I’m sorry.” Steve put his finger to the comm in his ear. “Tony..there’s nothing here. It’s empty.”

Keep looking. We’re still getting a signal from that location. There has to be something there.

Bucky and Steve exchanged glances before surveying the area, looking for anything out of the ordinary. They were about to give up and head back to the tower when Steve took a step that sounded unusual, hollow. He kneeled down and gently tapped the floor with his knuckles. His eyes widened.

“Psstt. Buck- c’mere,” he whispered.

They were both kneeling now to examine the floor, finding a section of musty carpet that was ruffled up in one corner. They pulled back the entire section to reveal a wooden latched door with a sliver of light leaking through the cracks.

“Tony- we found something. Have medical on standby,” Steve ordered.

Already done. Keep me posted.

Bucky was breathing fast. He wanted nothing more than to rush down there, to find you and kill anyone who stood in his path. With a pointed look, Steve grounded him, and they lifted the door. They silently dropped to the floor below, taking in the cold, damp concrete and dank odor one would expect from a moldy basement. You had to be close. He prayed he wasn’t too late.

Everything happened very quickly. They were rushed by half a dozen men armed with assault rifles but even then, the guards didn’t stand a chance against the two pissed off and determined super-soldiers. With every enemy lying on the floor, Steve ordered Bucky to find you while he searched the rest of the basement.

It was a few minutes later that Bucky came across the room you were held in. With one swift motion, he kicked down the locked door. He scanned the room. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he spotted your form, eerily still, lying in the center of the room. He reached up and pulled the light on overhead, letting it swing as he dropped down next to you.

“Y/N? Come on, doll.” he reached down to rub his thumb across your lip where blood had dried and caked. You were cold. “Shit. Shit!” He gently moved you onto your back and this is when he saw the blood soaking into your shirt and leaving a puddle beneath you. His breath caught in his throat. With shaking hands, he put his fingers to the pulse point on your neck. When he felt a weak pulse, barely registering on his fingertips, he leaned down and held his ear close to your mouth. A soft whisper of a breath escaped your lips.

Bucky heard Steve’s footsteps approaching, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from you. He lifted your shirt to reveal the source of your bleeding. He pressed firmly down on the stab wound, but you didn’t even flinch. He recognized how concerning this was, how the pain from this alone should have elicited some kind of response from you, but you remained just as still as before.

“Oh God.” Steve knew you would be in bad shape, but he didn’t want to believe it would be this bad. You were so pale and still, like you were already gone. “Tony! We found her! We need EMS now!”

Already on the way, Cap. ETA 2 minutes.

Bucky scooped you up in his arms and they made their way to the surface, exiting the building to the waiting paramedics and helicopter.

 Bucky held your hand as they loaded you into the chopper and flew you to the trauma center. He heard voices around him but remained focused on you.

Looks like it missed any major vessels.

Multiple contusions across the abdomen and…these look like burns…

She’s bradycardic; give her a milligram of atropine.

Her pupils are sluggish…Prep for CT.

Sir, does she have any significant medical history?

Sir?

Bucky snapped out of his daze. “Uhh…she had a head injury…. a couple months ago. But she was cleared.”

Bucky was guided to the waiting room while the trauma team worked on you. You still hadn’t regained consciousness.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Hours had passed in the waiting room. Eventually, Bucky was joined by Steve.

“Heard anything yet?”

“No.”

A few moments passed before Steve spoke again. “It was an ex-SHIELD operative.”

“What?” Bucky turned his head to look at Steve.

“A couple of years ago, a mission went south. All the agents were killed. Except one, they never found the body. Turns out, he was captured and tortured by HYDRA.”

“I never heard about this.”

“I didn’t either. SHIELD must have swept it under the rug.”

“Why her?” Bucky’s voice shook with anger, his eyes red and glassy.

“Apparently, before he was captured, he sent a distress signal, but help never came. He adopted HYDRA’s ways with the intent of getting revenge on SHIELD, on us. He blames the Avengers for the deaths of his team.”

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut. “Where is he now?”

“In SHIELD’s custody.”

“Steve- WHERE is he?”

“Buck….you don’t want to do this.” Steve tried to reason with his friend.

Just then, they were approached by a physician.

“She’s stable. There was internal damage, but we were able to repair it.”

Bucky let out a shuddered sigh of relief.

“However,” the physician continued, “it appears she suffered a traumatic brain injury.”

Bucky’s eyes widened. He knew. Yet, hearing it out loud hit him even harder. “What- what does that mean?” He could feel Steve’s hand rest on his shoulder.

“We’re not sure yet. We’re still waiting for her to wake up.”

“How long will that take?” Desperation lingered in Bucky’s voice.

“We don’t know. We’re not sure if she will wake up. I’m sorry.” The doctor provided an apologetic smile and walked away.

Bucky collapsed back into the chair.

“Buck. I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t have let her leave the tower. I should have gone after her sooner. Fuck- I should have just let her go on that damn mission!”

“Don’t do that to yourself, man. This isn’t your fault.”  Steve tried to console him.

Bucky suddenly rose from his seat, pacing with panic. “I don’t know what to do, Steve. I don’t—” He finally broke down. His body trembled as tears streamed down his face.

“Let’s go see her.” Steve guided his friend to your room.

  Three weeks later and you were still in a coma. The doctors said if you weren’t awake by now, it was unlikely that you would ever wake up. But you were now breathing on your own. Your body had healed, and Bucky refused to give up on your mind. Another two weeks had passed, and Bucky still sat by your side, holding your hand. That evening, he sat by you, reading one of your favorite books to you when he heard you groan. He looked up at your face, seeing nothing had changed. He thought he had imagined it, but you did it again. He put the book down and brought his hand up to caress your face. Your eyes fluttered.

“Oh my God. Y/N? Can you hear me, baby?” He smiled for the first time in weeks.

You opened your eyes and blinked slowly several times, trying to focus.

“Y/N? Can you look at me, sweetheart?”

Your eyes immediately shifted to Bucky.

“That’s it, baby! Oh my God.” He was overwhelmed with joy. He laughed, actually laughed.

“Bucky?” Your voice was weak, words slurred. You hadn’t spoken in weeks.

“You’re okay, baby. You’re okay.”

The following day, you began physical therapy. It was exhausting, but you felt yourself getting stronger and making progress as the weeks passed.

Bucky never mentioned what happened and you never brought it up. He was so consumed with your recovery; you couldn’t find the right time to say anything about it. Until one day, your feelings just slipped out.

“I’m sorry,” you uttered, after a particularly difficult therapy session.

Bucky was genuinely confused. “For what, doll?”

“You were right. I wasn’t ready to go on missions. I’m sorry I got so mad at you. I never should have left that day.” Tears gathered in your eyes. “If I hadn’t been so damn stubborn, you wouldn’t have to waste your time with..with this!” You motioned at your weaker form.

Bucky kneeled down in front of you, wiping your tears with his thumbs.

“Sweetheart, no. This isn’t your fault. I should have talked to you about my concerns, instead of going over your head about it.”

“I just hate feeling worthless and look where I am. Steve will never let me go on another mission again.” You clenched your fists and shook your head, frustrated that you got yourself in this situation once more.

“Hey, hey. You’re okay. We’ll get through this. We always do.” Bucky embraced you, rubbing circles on your back.  “You’ll go on missions again. In fact, I think Steve is planning to personally accompany you on every single mission from here on out.”

You giggled and rolled your eyes. “Between you and Steve, I won’t have to lift a finger,” you teased.

“Nope,” Bucky grinned proudly.

Your playful smile quickly faded as cynical thoughts intruded on your pleasant moment. Now they really don’t trust me. Won’t even let me go on missions without them. But Bucky seemed to read your mind.

“Don’t worry, doll. You’ll be doing solo missions in no time. We know you’re more than capable.”

“Yeah?” you asked, with hopeful eyes.

“Of course! You kick more ass than the rest of us. But I am curious about one thing…” Bucky baited with a smirk.

“What’s that?” you asked cautiously.

“How the hell did those thugs get the jump on you?” Bucky asked, his expression incredulous.

You closed your eyes and sighed. “They knocked on the door,” you admitted as quietly as possible.

“They what?!” He was almost laughing.

“I thought it was you,” you said more loudly, almost accusingly. “I was going to tell you off.”

Bucky shook his head, a wide smile plastered on his face as he attempted to stifle more laughter. Seeing Bucky like this ignited a fire in you. You wanted to wipe that stupid grin off his face, but the joy he was emanating overtook you. Two can play this game and you liked playing this game with Bucky.

“Don’t worry, Buck. Next time I think I’m opening a door to you, I’ll take the ‘punch first, tell you off later’ approach.” Your eat-shit grin was now wider than Bucky’s.

He burst out with laughter, and you joined him.

“That’s my girl.”

[softsnzstuff]

Fever Pitch

Fandom: Stranger Things; Doctors Office AU

Word Count: 10k

Summary: Doctor!Eddie gets super sick, but refuses to admit that doctors can get sick too. Eddie spends half the week grumpy and annoyed until he finally breaks in the most whumpy way.

CW: Flashback mentions of domestic abuse // gunshot wounds, minor mess

Monday, April 3rd

“Hey! Earth to Eddie??”

Eddie blinks himself back to reality and realizes he’s been staring at his mug of black coffee for a few minutes.

“Sorry what?”

Steve shakes his head and laughs, “I asked if you’re almost ready to go? It’s 6:58.”

“Yeah!” Eddie grabs his travel mug from the cabinet and empties the contents of his coffee mug into it, dropping the mug in the sink, “Good to go. Sorry, just a little spacey this morning I guess…”

Steve grabs the car keys off the hook and opens the front door, still chuckling, “I can see that.”

---

Usually the drive to work is filled with banter, but today Eddie is tired in a way he almost can’t explain. His ears feel weird too and he can’t quite place it.

Steve parks the car in their usual spot and they both get out. The bell chimes above them as they enter through the back door.

“Good mooooorning!” Comes a voice down the hall. Robin.

“Morning Robin!” They call out in unison.

Eddie heads to his office, slumping into his chair and turning the computer on, while Steve makes his way towards his station where Nancy is waiting and Robin is hanging out.

The dirty blonde is sitting on Steve’s desk, kicking her feet talking to Nancy. Steve approaches his childhood best friend and jokingly waves the air at her. “Shoo! Off my desk.”

She playfully sticks her tongue out at him and hops off. “I just opened the front. First patient isn’t until 7:45 I think?”

Steve nods in acknowledgement as he logs onto his own computer, eyes not breaking from the screen.

“That’ll be good. Give Eddie a minute. He’s being kinda weird and quiet today.”

Nancy and Robin exchange a brief look of worry.

“You talking about me in here?” Eddie wanders in.

“Just shit talking you behind your back, obviously.” Robin teases.

Eddie breaks character and laughs, playfully punching her arm. “Well don’t let me interrupt. Needed a new pen. My favorite one just ran out of ink.”

Steve opens his backpack and pulls out a fresh pen, holding it over his head for Eddie to take. The older man grabs it, slightly disappointed that it’s ballpoint and not gel. Trivial, sure, but a small detail that makes his morning that much more irritating.

He disappears back towards his office as Robin speaks up.

“Well I guess I should get to work too. I’m sure our first patient will be here soon.”

She heads up to the front of the office and sits at her desk previewing the schedule for the day. All things considered, it’s actually pretty light for a Monday. Billy is off today and tomorrow, so it’s just Eddie and Nancy.

The front door bell chimes and Robin looks up to lock eyes with Mr.Gilmore (Mickey, please).

“Hey Mr.G! How are you?” She asks in her bubbly voice.

“Oh just fine, sweetheart. Checking in for 7:45. I think my wife is coming in later.”

The man starts to scribble his name on the check in sheet while Robin skims the schedule.

“Would ya look at that! She is coming in at 2:30.” Robin smiled, “You know the drill then, Mickey. Steve will be out to get you in just a second okay?”

He nods and takes his seat in the waiting room. The doorbell rings again as Robin stands up.

“Good Morning Mrs.Harris. Go ahead and get yourself signed in. There’s no copay today. Give me one second and I’ll tell Steve you’re here too.” She grabs both charts, Mickey’s on top since his appointment is first.

“First two for you, Steve-o.” She says, handing off the charts to her friend.

He runs a hand through his hair as he looks over them. “Yeah alright. Let me bring Mickey back and into a room and then I’ll come back for Gina.”

---

“Well your labs look fantastic, Mickey. Great improvement since the last time. If everything’s working for you I think we’ll keep your meds at the same dosage and follow up in a few months?”

“Sounds great, Doctor Munson.” The man reaches out and gives Eddie a handshake before standing up to head out.

“Go ahead and go up to the front. Robin will check you out shortly.”

Eddie could hear muffled talking in the room next door. Nancy was probably in there with Gina.

“Hey Steve can you bring this to Robin?” He holds out Mickey’s chart with his scribbled notes on it.

Steve gives Eddie a once over, but agrees, taking the chart and heading back to the front. Eddie, on the other hand, went back to his office and uncapped his travel mug of coffee, sipping generously. Why wasn’t the caffeine waking him up like it usually did??

As he swallowed, he finally was able to pinpoint the weird feeling in his ears. It was a sticky sort of pain deep inside that sometimes happened when- his throat was sore.

Shit. A sore throat was truly the last thing he needed. Maybe it would get better as the day went on if he tried to talk less?

---

A few hours passed by, and instead of getting better, Eddie only felt worse. The twinge in his throat was more of a dull ache now, and worst of all, his throat was scratchy in a way that made him want to gag.

As soon as he was done with the last patient before lunch, he beelined for the break room to make himself some more coffee.

The Keurig spurted and hissed as it produced a small latte in his travel mug.

“Babe you’re having more coffee? You’re gonna be up all night.” Steve came up behind him and squeezed his shoulder.

“What are you, my mom??” Eddie snipped.

“Geez, I’m just asking. What’s up with you today??” Steve tried to hide the fact that he was a little hurt.

“Nothing’s up with me, Steve. Just getting coffee because I’m tired.” The older man grumbled and walked back towards his office and shut the door behind him.

“What was that all about?” Nancy asked as she and Robin joined too, pulling their lunches out of the fridge.

“Hell if I know. Apparently the man just wants to be fueled with caffeine.” Steve rolled his eyes and sat down with his salad, “So how was your guys’ weekends?”

---

Its 2:15 now. Lunch has been over for a while. He’s seen a few more patients already and his coffee is now gone. He wants more but Steve is right - he’d be lucky if he gets to sleep tonight as is.

There’s a knock on his open door that gets his attention. It’s Robin and the iPad.

“Hey Doc, can you sign this for me?” She asks, holding out the iPad for him to take.

“Have I ever NOT signed it for you??” He asks in a tone way grumpier than he’d expected.

Shit why did he say that.

“No… sorry, I just didn’t want to assume…”

“You’re fine Birdie, I’m sorry. I’m just… in a mood today apparently.”

He signs for the meds and hands it back to her.

Robin shrugs, “It happens. Mrs.Gilmore is here early by the way. Steves probably coming through with her chart soon.”

Eddie sighs as he stands up. If he could just finish the last four patients he could go home.

---

Steve’s humming to himself in the kitchen as he cooks the pasta. Spaghetti with brown butter and tomato basil sauce is a recent favorite of his and he took it upon himself too cook for the two of them tonight

His phone buzzes. A text from Robin.

What’s cookin, good lookin?

He rolled his eyes. Since he started cooking new dishes, she’d been requesting photos of his food. He sent a pic back of the pasta in the pot of water.

Nothing fancy… yet. Spaghetti with tomato basil and brown butter sauce.

🤤Eddie’s the luckiest guy I swear.

Steve looks over his shoulder. After confirming Eddie was still in the shower, he types back.

Eh… he’s still kinda prickly. I think he’s getting sick or something.

Doctors don’t get sick, remember Steve?? 😤

Steve chuckles to himself. By now, everyone at Hawkins Medical is familiar with Eddie Munson and his ‘Doctors Don’t Get Sick’ one man show. He’s about to say something witty back when the bathroom door opens and small amounts of steam billow out.

One sec - he just got out of the shower…

Eddie pads over to the table, rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his hand.

“Just in time!” Steve offers a smile as he drains the pasta. “Spaghetti just finished. Pot of brown butter on the left. Tomato basil on the right. Pick your poison.”

Steve’s already plating his own dinner, when Eddie coughs into his shoulder, following behind with the smallest scoop of pasta and a tiny bit of sauce.

“That’s all you’re gonna eat?” Steve asks after Eddie takes a small bite.

“M’not hungry.” Eddie lies, but Steve doesn’t miss the way he winces when he took a sip of water.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine.” Eddie insists, “I’m not hungry.”

He goes to clear his throat but it catches, making him cough painfully into his fist. Eddie tries to blink back the pain, each cough scraping the back of his throat.

“Does your throat hurt?”

Eddie pushes away from the table, “I said I’m fucking fine Steve.”

“Hey, watch the attitude. I’m just asking!”

“Whatever.” Eddie grumbles, setting his plate by the sink, “I’m going to bed.”

He storms off to the bedroom, door closing behind him. Steve rolls his eyes and reaches for his phone again, sending a text to Robin.

Definitely sick. He just screamed at me for asking if his throat hurt 🙄

Steve threw his phone down after sending the text and finished his pasta by himself.

*****

Tuesday, April 4th

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

The joint alarm for 6:15am pierces through the fog in Eddie’s brain. Apart from the blaring alarm, the first thing he notices is that his throat hurts. BAD. It’s now a scratchy ache that burns when he swallows.

Steve turns the alarm off and groans, rolling out of bed to brush his teeth. Eddie takes the opportunity to lay there a little bit longer, squeezing his eyes shut. His head aches at the front of his forehead and all he wants to do is go back to sleep.

“You want coffee too Eds?” Steve asks on his way from their bathroom to the kitchen.

The older man tries to speak but coughs instead. He clears his throat and groans, “Yes please.”

“Coming right up.” Steve turns around, frowning at the sound of his partner.

While Steve starts their coffees, Eddie drags himself out of bed and heads to the bathroom too. He pees, washes his hands, and then brushes his teeth. He stops for a moment to stare at himself in the mirror. He looks run down for sure, paler than normal and rings forming under his eyes. After rinsing his mouth out, he tames the hair a little and then grabs a few tissues to blow his nose.

He huffs a sigh when it does nothing to relieve the congestion that’s settled in his sinuses.

“For fucks sake…” he grumbles.

He turns off the bathroom light and goes to get dressed. His favorite black jeans and tee shirt will do. They’re just going to be under his doctors coat anyways.

He’s sniffling and scrubbing at his nose as he walks into the kitchen where Steve is sitting at the table, finishing a prepackaged muffin and sipping his coffee.

“Morning babe.” Steve says and kisses Eddie on the cheek, “Shit it’s 6:40 already?? Let me get dressed really quick!”

“Morning.” Eddie hums, dumping his coffee into the travel mug. He takes a small sip, coughing again.

Steve reappears just a few minutes later, hair done and in his scrubs.

“Okay! Ready?”

Eddie nods, “Mm hmm.”

Steve grabs his bag and heads out the door towards the car, Eddie trudging sluggishly behind him.

---

When the boys arrive at the office, they both head back towards the nurses station to greet the girls. Steve drops his backpack at his desk and turns the computer on.

“Hey Robin!” He calls out.

“Morning guys!” Robin bounds around the corner but stops abruptly, “Oof Eddie you don’t look so hot. Are you okay?”

She asks, having forgotten the warning text from Steve late last night.

“You flatter me.” He says, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m fine.”

Nancy walks in just as Eddie starts coughing again. She places a gentle hand on his back as she walks past him to her desk.

“Awe poor thing, you sound awful. Are you getting sick?”

Steve and Robin look up at her like deer in headlights, signaling to her immediately that that was the wrong thing to say.

Eddie rolls his eyes, swallowing back his unwarranted anger, “I don’t get sick.”

He turns on his heels and heads to his office, coughing into a closed fist on the way.

“I’m sorry.” Nancy starts, “I forgot…”

Steve waves his hands dismissively, “Don’t be sorry Nance. He’s just grumpy because he doesn’t feel well.”

All three of them exchanged different variations of the same eyebrows-raised glance that screamed ‘not this again’.

“Well I’m going to go let people in now. The Anderson’s were outside at 7:05.” Robin headed up front to unlock the doors.

Her pastel pink scrubs were light and joyful. She usually stuck to the darker colors but today she felt like brightening up the mood a little.

“Good Morning, Anderson’s!!” She greeted as she opened the door, “Enter my humble abode!”

The two of them laughed and stood up from the bench they were waiting on outside. They were in their early 70’s and were some of Robin’s favorites.

“Well you look absolutely vibrant in those scrubs. How are you doing today, Darling?” Mrs.Anderson asked as she signed both of them in on the clipboard.

Robin jogged around the back to meet her at the desk window.

“Thank you! Pretty good! Pretty good! I see you guys are here forrrrr,” she clicked around on the computer, “Back to back wellness checks?”

“That’s correct!” Mrs.Anderson chimes.

“Well good news then! Insurance covers 100% of the wellness exams, so there’s no copay. Let me tell Steve you guys are here.”

She takes both charts and runs them back to Steve, leaning down when she hands them off.

“They’re back to back wellness exams, so hopefully Eddie can just chill with them for the next hour and a half?”

Steve nods. Wellness checks were pretty easy and straight forward to do. Eddie would definitely be grateful he wasn’t having to do any procedures this morning.

The brunette gets up and calls them both back. They walk with him to Exam 2. Robin chuckles as they walk by, Mr.Anderson telling Steve, “Stevie boy, I have to show you this new magic trick I learned from my son in law. You brought my cards right Debbie?”

Mrs.Anderson patted him on the back, “I always bring your cards, Arthur…”

---

“Anderson’s are in 2 whenever you’re ready.” Steve said gently, leaning in Eddie’s doorframe.

The man in question was hunched over his desk blowing his nose again.

“Be there in a seco’d…” he said from behind the tissues.

Steve just nodded.

---

Almost an hour and forty five minutes later, Eddie came out of their exam room, eyes wide with annoyance, the rings under his eyes even more prominent than before. He dropped the charts on Robin’s desk.

“Mrs.Anderson is fine. Mr.Anderson needs a follow up in a month for his blood pressure.” He rasped.

“Sheesh Doc, you sound rougher than earlier.” She opened one of the drawers by her feet and pulled out a fresh bottle of water, offering it to him.

“M’fine just…” he cleared his throat, “Just a lot of talking.” He took the water bottle from her and sipped from it briefly before heading back to his office to type in his appointment notes.

“Everything okay?” Steve stopped him in the hallway. “You look…stressed.”

“Yeah he just. Kept doing magic tricks.” Eddie complained.

Normally he was all for Mr.Anderson’s funny antics, but today he was too drained to entertain anything, especially repetitive card tricks.

“Sorry.” Steve started, “Your next appointment isn’t for half an hour. Take a second to chill in silence or something maybe?”

“I know how to use my free time, Steve.”

Steve threw his hands up in defeat. “Yup! You’re absolutely right. What was I thinking?”

---

By the time lunch had rolled around, Eddie was done. Done with work. Done with talking to people. Done with feeling like shit. He had his head resting in folded arms at his desk, swallowing past the knives in his throat.

Robin clocked the limp figure as she walked past his office on the way to the break room. She turned to face Steve and Nancy and whispered, “Is he okay?”

Eddie cleared his throat, scaring them all. Robin had thought he was asleep.

“He lives!” She joked.

Eddie lifted his head, trying to stare daggers with his glazed eyes, “Would you all quit asking if I’m okay?? I’m fucking fine alright?”

“Yeah Eddie, you totally look and sound fine.” Steve murmured.

“What was that, Harrington??” He raised an eyebrow at the three figures standing in the hallway.

“Nothing! Jesus, I said you’re fine.”

Steve grumbled his way to the break room, Nancy and Robin following suit. The three of them sat down, Steve running a hand through his hair, clearly stressed. Robin popped her Dino nuggets in the microwave and then sat next to Steve, rubbing a hand on his back.

“I’m sorry. He’s being such a dick.” Steve whispered.

“It’s okay Steve. Don’t stress.” Nancy said, shrugging as she ate one of her carrots.

The friends sat in relative silence for a moment until a trio of harsh sneezes sounded from Eddie’s office.

“N’Gshuuh! Eh’TZiew! H- h’EKSHTew!”

Robin opened her mouth out of habit to say ‘bless you Doctor Rockstar’, but Steve clamped a hand over her mouth and shook his head.

“Don’t say it.”

Robin nodded, thankful Steve stopped her in time. They could all agree that today was not the day for that.

Steve sighed and pinched the bridge if his nose, “Fuck. He’s sneezing now. He’s just going to get so much more annoyed and pissy…”

Nancy rested a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “He’s a grown up Steve. Just let it run it’s course. He’ll be fine again in no time.”

---

Steve should have known better than that. He should know by now that when Eddie got sick, it almost always got worse before it got better. And now, just like clockwork, that’s what was happening.

The rest of the work afternoon was filled with tense silence punctuated by sneezing and coughing from Eddie’s office.

By the time they were closing up for the day, Eddie’s nose was tinged pink and he was exhausted. He leaned heavily against the wall by Steve’s desk.

“Are you alm’bost ready to go home? M’by head is killing m’be.” He asked in a weak but frustrated tone.

Steve looked up and his heart immediately dropped. Eddie looked awful. “Yeah, sorry let me just turn the computer off…”

Steve awkwardly scrambled to shut down the desktop computer and shovel a few things into his backpack.

“I’b gonna go wait in thehhh the car- H’iKTschEW! Eht’CHuhew! T’SZIEW!”

He steepled into his hands as he walked towards the back exit. Steve could faintly register an “ughh fuck” before a thick sniffle on his way out.

The younger man scooped up his backpack and jogged out after Eddie, jumping in the car not too long after he had. The car was silent except for watery sniffles from Eddie every now and again.

He figured Eddie was spaced out, too lost in a sick induced brain fog, but music seemed like it would ease the tension. Steve reached for the radio button and turned it up just a little bit. After a fifteen minute drive in the setting sun, he parked the car in their spot and made the short walk to their apartment.

“I’m gonna take a shower…” Eddie mumbled once they got inside, already dragging himself towards the bathroom.

“Guess I’ll make dinner then.” Steve said sassily to himself as the bathroom door shut and the shower water turned on.

When Eddie stepped out of the bathroom after twenty minutes or so, he’d disappeared into their bedroom to change and probably text some friends quickly.

Steve took it upon himself to take a quick shower, afterwards sitting on the sofa and watching reruns of How I Met Your Mother.

Eddie emerged from the bedroom in pajama pants, thick socks, and a T-shirt, cradling a box of tissues.

“I love this episode.” He flopped down on the other end of the couch and pulled one of their blankets over his legs.

It’s only a few minutes into the Blitz episode when Eddie frantically grabs a tissue and clamps it over his mouth, inhaling dramatically.

“ii’KTCH! H’esSHiew! H’MPTsch!!”

“Bless-”

“N’giSHuhew!!”

“Bless you!”

“Tha’gks…” Eddie groans, gurgling into the already damp tissue before tossing it aside and pulling a new one to blow again.

“On seco’d thought… I thi’gk I’b gonna go to bed.”

“Okay. Goodnight.” Steve wants to add that he hopes Eddie feels better, but refrains, keeping it to himself and his reruns.

*****

Wednesday, April 5th

The alarm only beeps once before Steve turns it off, slipping out of bed quietly to start getting ready. Eddie’s congested snores ring out in a way that Steve just knows his throats going to be raw when he wakes up.

After throwing his scrubs on, he makes himself and Eddie some coffee. He’s on his way back to the bedroom, double fisting mugs, when he runs into Eddie, standing in the doorway.

“Steve! It’s 6:30 why didn’t you wake me up???”

Steve’s taken aback by the heat in Eddie’s voice. “I was just making you coffee. I thought you could use the extra sleep. Was about to wake you up just now.”

“You don’t get to decide if I need sleep. I’ll have to take the coffee to-go now. There’s no time.” he turned around and stormed off to the bedroom to get dressed.

Steve huffed a sigh and went to empty the mugs contents into his partner’s travel cup.

Eddie felt absolutely wrecked. He didn’t know it was possible for him to wake up feeling worse than he did last night, and yet. Here he was with full body aches, a sinus headache, and chills. His entire body hurt and his skin was overly sensitive to everything.

He opted for scrub bottoms - the closest thing to sweatpants he could get away with - and a hoodie underneath his doctors coat. He coughed as he got dressed, the tight congestion in his chest slowly loosening.

Steve sat in the living room waiting for Eddie. Being sick had really slowed him down and it was now 6:53. They were behind schedule, usually leaving before 6:50am.

They both hopped in the car, music playing faintly as Steve drove them to work. The older of the two kept stifling chesty coughs with his mouth closed - clearly his lungs were more awake than he was.

As they pulled into the parking lot for Hawkins Medical, Eddie snapped forward into his elbow.

“Eh’GSHiew! snff h’eKTCH! H’eiTSCH!!” The sneezes were harsh and desperate, followed by another productive cough that made Steve wince.

“You sound a lot worse Eddie…” Steve commented hesitantly.

“Drop it, Steve.” He quipped, which would have been a lot more threatening if he wasn’t so god damn congested.

Steve went silent as they both got out of the car. Eddie paused for a minute. With one hand on the hood to steady him, he snapped at the waist sneezing again towards the ground. Steve shook his head and made his way into the clinic, leaving his boyfriend to clean himself up.

“Did Eddie finally stay home?” Robin started, a little too excited.

Steve signaled at her to stop talking as the back door bell chimed followed by some coughing.

Noticing the girls’ concerned looks, Steve quickly hissed, “Just leave it.”

“Hey Eddie.” Nancy said sympathetically as the man walked in looking worse for wear.

“Hi N’dance.”

The back door bell chimed again. Fuck. Billy. The man walked in (late as usual) and dumped his stuff at his desk. He offered a simple “Hey.” before he caught sight of Eddie coughing into another tissue.

“Are you sick Munson? Stay away from me.”

Everyone in the clinic knew Eddie was being pissy the last couple days. Everyone except Billy, who was off Monday and Tuesday. Steve bit his lip, preparing for whatever outburst was about to come from Eddie.

“You shouldn’t have to worry about that since I was going to tell you to fuck off anyways, Hargrove!” Eddie clapped back.

“Eddie!” Steve scolded.

“Hey hey hey! Everyone stop.” Robin stood up in between Eddie and Billy, but Billy just laughed.

“Would you look at that? Munson’s got some fire in him after all. I respect it.”

Nancy, Robin and Steve exchanged looks of confusion before Robin finally stepped back, knowing Billy wasn’t going to escalate the situation.

“But seriously. Don’t fucking get me sick.” Billy pointed at Eddie on the way back towards his desk.

“How about. I go open the doors and we all take a breather? Would that be fine??” Robin asks, exasperated, slowly backing away to open the clinic for business.

Robin pulls her phone out of her back pocket and sends a quick update text to Chrissy. The two had been talking a lot more since they started flirting and so Chrissy was very well aware of the situation.

Jesus Chris, Eddie just almost fought Billy in the nurses station. Told him to fuck off and everything.

Chrissy’s reply was almost immediate:

In any other circumstance that would be the highlight of my week. Poor Eddie, he must really be feeling sick if he’s that confrontational.

The strawberry blonde had known Eddie longer than Robin had known Steve, so she certainly knew all of his quirks. Apparently this was one of them.

Ugh. Yeah. He sounds terrible. Gotta work now. Text you later. Xx

Today was unfortunately one of the busier days. The silver lining was that it was filled with familiar faces. As Robin pocketed her phone, a red haired girl who was about 21 came skating in through the doors.

“No skating in the clinic Max! I’m sorry I don’t make the rules.” Robin said.

“Sorry.” She chuckled signing herself in. Her other arm was wrapped in an ace bandage.

“Steve will come get ya soon, just. Hang tight okay?” Robin teased.

The girl nodded. When Robin came back, Steve was just behind her. He opened the door to the waiting room.

“Hey Max, come on back.”

“Hey Steve!” She clocked her older (step)brother, Billy, in the nurses station as she walked back with Steve, “Hey Dickwad!”

“Grow up Maxine!” He yelled back, flipping her the bird.

She smirked and threw two birds up in response as she followed Steve into exam room 1.

Steve stifled a laugh once the door was closed. “Authentic sibling love…”

“Step sibling. Am I wrong??” Max asked, grinning.

“I mean. He did look up when you said dickwad.” Steve laughed, hooking her up to the blood pressure cuff and slipping the thermometer in her mouth.

Steve typed a few notes in the computer until the cuff deflated. He took the thermometer out from her mouth and looked at the numbers on the BP machine. He typed some more in the computer before heading out.

“Blood pressure is normal considering you live with Billy.” Steve commented, “Eddie will be in to see you soon!”

“No rush!” She called after him. Might as well make herself comfortable. She lay back on the crinkly paper, bending her knees, feet on the table.

She stayed like this for a few minutes before a couple rough sneezes from outside the door startled her.

There was a knock on the door before it opened, Eddie stepping inside.

“Bless you.” She said, slowly sitting up, “Jesus you look like shit.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, washing his hands. “Thank you so much for the compliment. You have such a way with words.”

“Ha ha.” She teased.

“You been icing that sprain?”

“Yup!”

“Wrapping it?”

“Yup!”

Eddie squinted his eyes and glanced at the skateboard in the corner. “You been staying off your board?”

Max paused. Caught. “No… but I haven’t fallen on the wrist! Promise!”

“We’ll see about that. Give it here.”

Max holds her arm out. Eddie sniffles wetly as he unwraps the ace bandage.

“So are you sick or something?” She breaks the silence.

He looks up at her eyebrow raised. “You must be confused. I’m pretty sure you’re the patient in this room.”

Max matched his energy pretty quickly. “Really? Hmm I just thought because you come in here sneezing and looking all sickly…”

“Sickly?!” Eddie scoffed as best he could before turning and coughing into his elbow.

Max watched the display and just shrugged.

“Listen you shouldn’t call me sickly when your skating career lies in the hands of my doctors note.”

Now that the bandage was off she flexed her hand and rotated the wrist a few times.

“Feel okay?” He asked.

“Yeah. Feels good.” She nodded and Eddie opened the drawer behind him and pulled out a box.

He tore it open and held it up. “This. Is your new brace. Wear this for a week and you should be good to go. But no crazy skate tricks!!”

“Whatever you say, Doc.” She hopped off the table and grabbed her board. “Hope you stop being sickly soon.”

“Very funny.” He said sarcastically as she made her way to check out with Robin.

Now that she’d left, Eddie felt his entire demeanor drop. The happy Doctor facade. He put it on for his patients, but he felt like absolute garbage.

he grabbed a few tissues from the box on the exam room counter and blew his nose. He paused as the act sent a tickly buzzing through his nose and his eyes fluttered shut.

“H’eiSHuhew! E’kSHT!”

He grabbed a couple more tissues and blew his nose again before binning them and washing his hands. He was in for a long day.

---

Mrs.Henderson is the last patient before lunch. Usually everyone loves the Hendersons - especially Dustin. However, today Mrs.Henderson came in alone, just her and her hypochondria.

“Hi Robin dear, I really need to see Doctor Munson, it’s urgent. I don’t mean to alarm you but I think I have smallpox.”

Robin stared wide eyed. This was a new one, even for her. “Okay ummm let me just get Steve and we’ll see you in just a second okay?”

Robin took the chart and headed back to Steve. “She thinks she’s got smallpox this time.”

Steve sighed. “Gimme the chart.”

The brunette took a breath and then called her back to Exam 3. “Hey Mrs.Henderson. What brings you in?”

“Didn’t Robin tell you? I think I have smallpox. It showed up a few days ago. Look!”

She points to her ankles, where he locks eyes with the most obvious flea bites he ever did see. Eddie’s gonna love this…

“Alright. Let me get Doctor Munson okay?”

Steve finds Eddie hunched over in his office, face buried in his hoodie sleeves.

“N’xxTCH! ii’xtCHU! H’tchiYUE!”

“Bless you times three!” He announces himself.

Eddie wipes his nose on the sleeve of his jacket and very briefly gives Steve a puppy dog look. “What now?”

“Mrs.Henderson is here. She’s got flea bites on the ankles…”

“And she thinks its….?” Eddie starts.

“Smallpox.”

“Of course she does. Can’t you give her to Billy this time?” He almost whines.

Steve frowned, “She asked for you.

“Ughhh okay fine.” Eddie stands up, clearly at the end of his rope, and takes the chart from Steve, marching into the exam room.

“Oh good Doctor Munson! I need you to look at my legs. I have smallpox-”

“Mrs.Henderson. It’s not smallpox. I can assure you that much.” Eddie says, looking at her legs, “Don’t you have a cat?”

“Dusty brought me another one so now I have two actually. Mittens and Buttercup-”

“They’re flea bites Mrs.Henderson.” Eddie tries to stay calm.

“But I read online that smallpox can cause itchy bumps…”

“So do fleas.” Eddie stated.

“But Google said-”

“Mrs.Henderson. Do you have any other smallpox symptoms? Scabs? Stomachaches?” He cut her off.

She shakes her head and stares at him as he continues, “Do you have a fever?”

“… no.”

“Well I do.” Eddie starts, “and I don’t know how else to prove it to you, but those are flea bites. I’ll give you an antihistamine cream for the itching. And I can recommend a really good vet for your cats.”

He scribbles out a prescription on his pad while she seems to consider. She now seemed less paranoid and more sympathetic.

“Okay. That would be lovely. Thank you.”

“Perfect.” Eddie sighed and gave her his best fake smile before leaving the room. He passed the chart off to Steve and then went to his office to sit down.

---

As soon as the front doors were locked for lunch, Robin hit up Steve’s desk. “Wanna do a coffee run with me?”

“Yeah sure. Now?”

Robin nodded. “Yes sir I need caffeine.”

Steve grabbed his car keys and the pair left. Thankfully there was a great coffee shop just down the road. They acquired three iced lattes for the two of them and Nancy. Billy always brought his own Red Bull, and Steve picked up some hot tea with lemon for Eddie.

They were back at the office in damn near record time - only 15 minutes out of the office. Nancy was eating in the break room. Eddie was in there too now, resting his head in his folded arms on the table again.

“We come with coffee!” Robin announced, handing one of the iced drinks over to Nancy.

“Thank you!!” She pleaded.

Eddie sat up and started that god awful coughing again. He was so pale with a bright flush over his cheeks. His nose was pink and damp and his cough was definitely not getting any better.

Steve came up behind him and rubbed his back, not liking the heat coming through, even past the thick sweatshirt layers.

“Hey, you feel really warm, Eds. Maybe you should see a doctor.” Steve said, concerned.

“For fucks sake Steven! I don’t need a doctor okay?!? I am a doctor!!”

The outburst startled everyone, especially with the amount of heat behind Eddie’s voice.

“Jesus Christ Eddie I’m just trying to help. Here! I brought you tea!” Steve aggressively puts the paper cup in front of Eddie.

The older man looks at the cup and then looks at Steve as he pushes it across the table away from him.

Robin looked at Steve and then immediately looked away. She knew that look. Steve was pissed. He was absolutely seething.

“You wanna sit here and be fucking miserable?? Fine. Be miserable, I don’t care.” Steve stormed out of the room swearing under his breath. “Fuck!”

Nancy and Robin stand there awkwardly before Robin decides to break the ice.

“We’re gonna give you some space Eddie.” The two of them took their lunch and coffee and went to go sit with Steve at his desk.

As soon as everyone left the room, Eddie reached for the paper cup of tea and sipped on it greedily. He did want the tea. It helped with some of the congestion and especially helped with the chills. He wasn’t sure how, but Steve always knew just what he needed.

---

The rest of the day was tense to say the least. After yelling at Steve, he could tell Steve was angry and hurt and wasn’t going to talk about it. So Eddie just kept pouting until they got back to the apartment.

After a shower, he decided he’d just go lie down and give his body a break. He was fucking freezing but his face felt too hot and all the while, he was slipping into fever dreams he didn’t want to be in.

---

He was back in Med school, doing practice rounds at the hospital. He hated the reputation he had here. Not only was he the oldest in his group because he kept failing classes, but because it’s a small town, everyone knew about his history. About his dad.

Imagine first day of school jitters when everyone knows your dad beats you and your mom when you come home. Not exactly a golden ticket to the popular crowd, that’s for sure.

Everyone knew his family couldn’t afford med school either. So they knew he was a bartender on the side to help pay bills.

“Trailer trash Eddie thinks he’s going to be a doctor!” He could hear people teasing.

Stupid how cruel even adults can be when they wanted to.

“Help me Eddie.”

He knows that voice. He hasn’t heard it in years. Why does he know that voice???

He follows it down the corridor, but it only gets more desperate.

“Please Eddie! Please help me! Why won’t you help me??!”

He’s running. Flying down the stairs until he reaches the double doors labeled morgue. He stops in his tracks and pushes the doors open slowly. The screaming dies down and one of the bodies on the table sits up.

It’s his mom. She has bruises on her body and face, a massive gash in her bottom lip.

“Eddie.”

He runs over to her. He’s not too much taller than her when she’s sitting up on the autopsy table.

“Mom…” he hasn’t seen her since he was 8.

He cups her cold cheek with his hand and stares into her eyes, on the verge of tears. Suddenly he feels something warm roll down his hand. He looks and sees blood dripping down the side of her head and onto his arm. It’s coming from the gunshot wound from his father. Her husband.

“Oh my god!” He gasps, falling backwards and crawling across the floor.

He’d only been 8 when his father killed her and Eddie found her. Only 8 when he had to testify in open court and out his father away.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.” He sobs squeezing his eyes shut and willing her away from him.

It’s silent all around him for a minute and he opens his eyes. She’s not on the table anymore. She’s limp, being held bridal style by …his dad.

“Get up!” He shouts.

Eddie is frozen. He can’t move.

“I said get up!!” His dad commands.

All of a sudden he’s 8 years old again, scared of his dad. He scrambles to his feet while his dad looks him in the eye and drops his moms body to the floor.

“Do you know what you are?” He asks Eddie, jamming his finger into Eddie’s chest, “You’re a fucking liability. You’re nothing. You will always be nothing. You couldn’t save her. How do you expect to save your patients, huh? Certainly not by taking a sick day, that’s for fucking sure.”

Eddie starts crying quietly. “Wayne!! Uncle Wayne help me please!”

He calls into the void but there’s nothing. Just him, his dead mom, and his demons.

---

It’s close to 11pm when Steve turns off the tv and heads to their bedroom to go to sleep. He brushes his teeth quietly, so not to wake Eddie, and then crawls into bed next to his partner.

A small whimper makes Steve look over. Eddie’s asleep, but his brown is furrowed. He looks panicked and keeps making small whimpering noises.

Instinctively, Steve reaches out and runs a hand through Eddie’s hair. The older man almost immediately calms down a little. Steve pauses, resting the back of his fingers on Eddie’s forehead and then his cheek.

The poor guy is absolutely throwing off heat waves. Steve keeps running gentle fingers through Eddie’s hair until the whimpers are replaced by the usual congested snores. After Eddie’s settled again, Steve finally lays down and turns off the bedside lamp.

*****

Thursday, April 6th

Steve groans to himself as he finally turns off the alarm that he’s already snoozed twice. Its 6:35 and he’s barely gotten six hours of sleep. He kept waking up in the middle of the night either to check on Eddie or because he was too hot from sleeping next to Eddie.

He peels himself out of bed, surprised to see Eddie wasn’t there. Some harsh coughing echoing from the kitchen answered that question, though.

Steve pulls on his scrubs and heads to the bathroom, not wasting any time. He added some mousse and spray to his hair, giving it a once over before brushing his teeth and washing his face. He put on his watch and checked the time. 6:48 - time to go.

Grabbing his bag, he heads into the kitchen where Eddie is sitting at the table. He’s in his scrub bottoms and hoodie again, with a thin blanket draped around his shoulders. He’s got dark circles under his eyes and his nose is red and raw from blowing it so much.

“You were up early.” Steve commented, grabbing the car keys and opening the front door.

“Couldn’t sleep.” Eddie coughed, as he exited the apartment.

“Wait. Eddie. You’ve still got the blanket.” Steve points out.

The long haired man waves a hand dismissively. “I’m taking it with me.”

With that, he gets into the passenger seat of the car and leans back, blanket still wrapped around his shoulders, letting his eyes droop. His lips are parted slightly so he can breathe, a small detail that Steve picks up on as soon as he starts the car up.

They pull onto the main road when Eddie starts fidgeting, rifling through the glove compartment.

“What are you-? Oh..” Steve knows this look. Eddie’s pre-sneeze look.

His eyes are fluttering shut and his nostrils are flaring. He’s been sniffling the last couple minutes too so he’s assuming Eddie thinks it’s going to be messy.

“Hold on, hold on!” Steve has one hand on the wheel and one hand trying to grab at the middle console, but he’s also trying to drive the car.

Eddie buckles forward, using both his hands to pull the corner of his blanket up to cover.

“H’issh! NxxTCH! Eh’GSHT! snfsnff ii’KSHT’iew!”

“Bless you! Jesus…”

Steve grimaces at how sick and contagious those sneezes sounded. There’s no way the blanket escaped unscathed. He opens the middle console and pulls a handful of napkins, holding them out to Eddie.

The older man grabs at them and quickly holds them over his nose, pausing for a second, “heh-ISHHuu!”

The raspy sneeze turns into a desperate nose blow. Eddie drops the soaked napkin by his feet and grabs another to gurgle into. After he cleaned himself up, he grabs the last napkin and scrubs at his blanket.

“That can’t be sanitary…” Steve whispers to himself.

Eddie just coughs and leans his head against the cool window of the car until they park in the lot for Hawkins Medical.

The boys walk in where Robin is once again chatting with Nancy before opening.

“Hey guys-” Robin starts.

Steve stares at her wide eyed, mentally telling her not to even address the sorry state of Eddie. The doctor follows in behind Steve, pulling the blanket closer to him.

“N’dancy do you have any m’bore tissues?”

“Yeah Eddie, sure.” She opens the cabinet under the sink behind her and pulls out a fresh box and hands it to him.

“Tha’gks.” He sulks off to his office and Nancy gives Steve a look.

She leans in close and hisses, “You are not letting him see patients like that.”

Steve shrugged and held up his hands in defeat. “I don’t know what you want me to do about Nancy. I’ve been yelled at so many times this week. My hands are tied.”

Nancy and Robin both felt bad. Steve was in a really tough position, wanting to help but also not wanting to start any fights with Eddie. Billy walked in and pointed towards the back office.

“You letting patient zero stay here today??”

For once in his life, Billy was not only right, but valid in his concern. Eddie definitely shouldn’t be here right now.

“He won’t listen to me so I guess yeah. Yeah he is.”

Billy rolled his eyes. The clinic would be opening soon. The first patient was for Billy and then Nancy. Eddie’s first patient wasn't until 9:30.

The first part of the morning went smooth, leaving Eddie to drink his coffee and work on notes in his office. But by the time his first patient showed up, everyone was walking on eggshells.

“Morning Jessica!” Robin grinned.

Jessica was one of the regular patients in her late 30’s who was always friendly with the staff. Her and her girlfriend, Beck, were two of the funniest people around.

“Hey girl! How you doing?” Jessica asked.

“Hanging in there this week.” Robin leaned in close and brought her voice down to a whisper, “Doctor E’s sick and refuses to admit it.”

Jessica mouths the knowing “ahhhhh” as she nods. “I know the type. Doctors make the worst patients though, am I right?”

Robin nodded profusely. “Looks like you had a credit from the last appointment so no copay today. Go ahead and have a seat. I’ll have Steve get you soon.”

She grabs Jessica’s chart and marches it back to Steve. “Our favorite is here for her new med follow up.”

“Perfect! I’ll bring this to sick boy.” Steve types something into his computer and then stands up to let Jessica into an exam room.

---

Eddie looks dead on his feet when Steve brings in Jessica’s chart.

“First one for you Eds.” He says as nonchalantly as he can.

“Yup. I got it.” Eddie stands, but has to steady himself, closing his eyes to let the wave of dizziness pass.

Abandoning his blanket momentarily, he grabs the chart and heads into the exam room.

“Hey Jessica. You’ll have to excuse this-” he gestures to his entire demeanor, “I’m not feeling the best.”

“Understatement of the year, I suppose.” Jessica teased. “Sorry you’re not feeling well!”

Eddie sits down on the chair across the room, already too tired to stand. “So last time you were here we started you on 25mg of Zoloft. That was about three months ago. How are you feeling now?”

“Honestly? Best I’ve felt in a long time.” Jessica smiles.

“Any weird side effects? Mood swings? Any more bad thoughts?”

She thinks for a second but responds matter of factly, “Nope! Feels great.”

“Then I think I’d like to keep you on 25mg for now, but if anything changes you come back and we can reassess okay?”

“Bing, bang, boom! That was quick and easy.” She exclaims, grabbing her cross shoulder bag. “See you in a few months I guess!”

Eddie nodded, “See you then! Robin will get you all checked out.”

When he thought she couldn’t see him anymore, his face fell and he rubbed at his temple. Jessica made her way back to the front window.

“He’s worse than I thought.” She whispered to Robin, “He thought I couldn’t see but he looks really out of it and run down. Needs a pick me up or something.”

Those words echoed in Robins head as she signed Jessica out. He needs a pick me up.

If there was one thing Robin was good at it was humor. Once Jessica was gone, Robin made her way back towards Eddie’s office but saw him in the hallway.

“Hey Eddie! I have a joke for you. How do you tell if a vampire is sick?”

She paused briefly before answering her own joke, “By how much he’s coffin!!”

Eddie stared at her with annoyed eyes before he shouted, “Seriously Robin?? What are you comparing me to a Vampire now?? Stop trying to be funny and go back to work.”

Thank god he stormed off to his office because Robin was too shocked to move or speak. That stung. She’d never been yelled at by Eddie before. Before she knew it, Steve had a hand on her shoulder saying, “I’m so sorry Robs, ignore him.”

Her best friend kept speed walking into Eddie’s office and shut the door behind him so he could yell at his boyfriend in private.

“What the fuck Eddie??? You cannot speak to Robin like that, especially when she’s trying to cheer you up. You owe her an apology.”

Eddie just glares at his desk.

“Did you hear me Eddie?? Fucking apologize. Either get your shit together or go home. Jesus Christ…”

Steve is the one to storm out this time, slamming the door behind him. Nancy and Billy definitely heard, but opted to keep to themselves. Probably for the better anyways.

---

Robin was scribbling numbers on her insurance verification sheet for tomorrow. This was probably her least favorite part of the day, running numbers and making calls to the obscure insurance companies to ask about it.

Her concentration was broken when there was a small burst of wind as someone sat on the chair next to her.

“Hey Birdie.”

It was Eddie. Still wrapped in his blanket. But this time he looked apologetic and sad.

“I should NOT have yelled at you like that. The joke was funny and you just wanted to make me laugh.”

She slowly looked up and met his eyes. They were glazed and teary.

“I’m really really sorry Robin. I didn’t mean to. I just.” His voice wavered, “I just feel so sick!”

Two silent tears rolled down his cheeks. Robin’s heart broke and she immediately pulled him into a sitting hug, holding his head to her shoulder (and shielding him from any patients that might walk in.)

Steve walked up holding papers to copy but stopped dead in his tracks. Robin looked up at Steve, shooting him a look that screamed, “SOS he broke” as she held him.

Steve set the papers down and rushed over, kneeling in front of Robin and Eddie. He rubbed Eddie’s forearm.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Look at me.”

Eddie slowly turns to look at Steve, his face wet with tears and a thin layer of sweat. His nose is running from crying. Robin brushes some strands of hair out of his face with one hand and grabs the tissue box and sets it on her lap with the other.

“I feel bad.” He sobs, “I yelled at everyone and I wish I didn’t and I just feel so sihhh hhh -sick- h’iKSHT!”

Robin bites her lip in disgust as she rubs her friends back. Steve grabs a few tissues and wipes away the strings of mess from Eddie’s nose. He runs a hand through Eddie’s hair and then rests his palm on his forehead.

“You’re burning up Eds. I’m gonna go grab the thermometer.”

“Should we like…put him in an exam room or something Steve? I can sit with him until lunch and you can take him home…”

“Uhhh yeah fuck okay. That’s a good idea.”

Robin helps Eddie up and they walk over to Exam room 1 since the bed is against the wall.

“Just. Lay down for a second Eddie.” Robin is flustered. She doesn’t usually spend much time in the actual exam rooms.

He lays down, resting his head on the small pillow, and she pulls his blanket over his shoulders. He’s still sniffling from crying, his cheeks are flushed bright red.

Steve comes in with his little vitals cart, pulling the thermometer from its spot next to the blood pressure cuff.

“Open up Eds.” Steve slips the device under his tongue and waits for the reading. “102.4° Eddie. No wonder you feel so bad.”

Robin’s already going through the cabinets in the exam room until she finds what she’s looking for. She’s seen Eddie use it on some of the Peds patients before.

She opens the box and takes out a gel fever patch, peeling off the adhesive and gently sticking it to Eddie’s forehead. He whimpers slightly at how good it feels.

“Oh my god Robin those are for children.” Steve can’t help but laugh a little.

“A fever is a fever, Steve.”

She has a point.

“You sure you’re okay watching him?” He asks.

“Yeah I mean as long as you check people in and out. It’s only an hour or so. Just turn the lights off on your way out.”

Steve nods, flicking the light off and closing the door. He’s already sending texts to Chrissy asking if she can cover him tomorrow.

---

Despite it only being an hour, give or take, Steve is super anxious wanting to take Eddie home and get him to bed. As soon as the last patient was out the door, Steve was already locking up for lunch and making his way back to Exam 1.

“Hey buddy.” Steve gently rubs Eddie’s shoulder after turning on the light.

Lunch hour started and Steve had come to relieve Robin of her babysitting duties. Eddie slowly blinked himself awake.

“Hey Stevie…”

“How’re you feeling?” Robin stands up from the chair next to the exam room bed, stretching her legs.

Eddie groans and rubs at his nose, sniffing, “Really really sick actually…”

“You ready to go home?” Steve asks, petting his hair.

“Yeah. I am.” Eddie sits up and touches his forehead, “What is this??”

“It’s a fever patch, dummy. Don’t touch it!” Robin playfully slaps his hand away.

She helps Eddie to his feet and he notices Steve’s already got his backpack and the car keys.

“Are you… staying home with me? Steve you don’t have to…”

“Yes I do. And Chrissy’s gonna cover for me tomorrow too. Especially if you’re finally dropping the ‘doctors don’t get sick’ act and will let me help you.”

“If some soup and the good tissues are involved I’ll gladly accept that offer.”

They make their way out into the hallway and stop outside the break room where Robin just joined Nancy.

“I’m sorry for being a dick this week Nancy.”

“It’s okay Eddie, just get some rest!” Nancy’s mom-friend tone was coming out.

Steve nodded at them and gently shoveled Eddie out the back door into their car. The drive back to their apartment was still about fifteen minutes, but it felt so much faster.

“I’m thinking maybe a shower for you and then bed.” Steve looks over from behind the wheel.

Eddie coughed into his elbow. “I was thinking the same thing.”

When they parked and got out of the car, Steve was expecting Eddie to beeline for the shower like he had the past couple of days, but instead, he gives Steve the biggest hug.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so mean.” Eddie mumbles into Steve’s chest. “I’ll do whatever you say, I’m just tired of feeling like shit.”

Steve softens and leans into the hug. “It’s okay Eddie. I just want you to feel better. Why don’t you go shower and get in bed and I’ll bring you some tea?”

---

Steve had started the tea when he heard Eddie get out of the shower. He didn’t want to start it early and risk it getting cold.

He let the water boil in the electric kettle, letting the tea steep after it had stopped bubbling. He stirred in a bit of honey for good measure and walked it over to the bedroom.

“Eddie, you decent?” He called gently.

When no response came, he toed open the slightly ajar door. Eddie was passed out, face down in his favorite black sweats and a waffle knit shirt. He snored softly, face buried in the bedsheets.

Steve set the tea down on the bedside table and draped a clean quilt over him, taking the dirty one to the wash. He closed the door quietly behind him and made his way to the kitchen to make himself some lunch.

His phone buzzed as a text from Robin came through.

How’s he doing?

He typed out a quick response.

Hey Robs. He’s out cold in bed already…

That was quick 🤣

Record time, I think.

Steve laughed to himself while he reheated leftover pasta. He didn’t know how long he’d have to entertain himself, but Eddie definitely needed some rest.

****

Friday, April 7th

“-chEW!”

Steve slowly pulls himself from sleep, vaguely aware of the wet sneezes sounding next to him.

“K’tschIEW! snrkk sorry I didn’t m’bean to wake you up. Tried to stifle them but… they were too strong.”

“S’okay. Bless you.” Steve props himself up on his elbows and reaches over to feel Eddie’s forehead while he blows his nose. “Feeling any better?”

“Yeah, but still feel like I got hit by a bus.” He tossed the tissues to the side and leans back against the pillows propping him up, “Can’t breathe through m’by n’dose.”

“I’m sorry babe. I’ll look around for the humidifier later and see if that helps.”

Eddie nodded, while Steve grabbed the thermometer off the table by the bed and pressed the ON button. He hands it to Eddie, who slips it under his tongue.

They wait for a minute until it beeps. Eddie leans forward and Steve takes the device to check the reading.

“What’s the damage n’durse Steve?”

“100.3°. Explains why you feel so crummy. A lot lower than yesterday though.” Steve kisses the top of Eddie’s head before getting out of bed to get dressed.

Eddie slumps down, closing his eyes again. He only intended to rest them for a minute, but soon enough he’s right back asleep.

---

Steve’s in the kitchen heating up some soup for Eddie when there’s a knock on the door. He turns the heat down to low and goes to open it.

“Hey Robin what’re you doing here?”

She smiles and holds up a paper bag, “Thought I’d drop by on my lunch break to drop off bagel sandwiches for you.”

“That’s so nice!” Steve stepped aside, “Come on in.”

“How’s Eddie doing?” She asks.

“Well…” Steve points to the living room where there’s a figure hunched over a small humidifier with a towel over their head. “His fever’s down but he’s super congested still. I have him doing humidifier treatment while I make him some soup.

“How very domestic of you.” She smirks, making her way over to the covered figure.

“Hey Eds! Brought you some bagels! Feel any better?”

He flips the towel over his head so it’s resting on his back. His face is looks clammy from the steam.

“Thanks Robin.” He turns away to cough and then teeters his hand back and forth. “Eh. Been better. Still feel like shit.”

Almost on cue, his eyes flutter closed and he turns to the side, leaning into the crook of his elbow.

“M’ptSHew! G’isSHuhew! H’ekTSCH!”

“Bless you!! I gotta get back to the clinic, but feel better, yeah? Lord of rest this weekend.” Robin ruffles his hair and heads back to the front door where Steve is waiting.

Eddie gives a tired thumbs up from behind his tissues before throwing the towel back over his head.

“Guess you finally got him to drop the act?”

Steve sighs, “Yeah. Fucking finally. Doctors do get sick after all.”

The two of them chuckle to themselves, certain Eddie couldn’t hear their teasing over the hiss of the humidifier.

“Thanks for the bagels.” Steve gives Robin a hug on her way out. “See you Monday?”

She walks backwards out the door, shooting finger guns at him. “You know it Steve-o!”

Steve smiled at the ground as he closed the front door, turning the stove back up to a boil. He was so thankful for friends like Robin. And thankful his boyfriend was finally letting him take care of him.

[beazt]

chronic illness rant bc I’m suffering

had to send my doc a msg directly begging for him to send prescription refills cause every other avenue of requesting refills for my meds that I need has failed for the last 3? weeks and they don’t like me sending messages directly on MyChart to ask for refills but I’m out of 3 meds and one of them is incredibly vital to the point that since ive been without it a couple days, my heart rate jumps to 140 and stays above 120 for hours if I dare do something as bold as walk to the fridge or bathroom, and jumps to 120+ if I dare slowly sit up to take a sip of my water

and ofc that comes with a lot of other symptoms such as my extremities constantly tingling/partially numb when my heart rate is high and my brain feeling like it’s inside a dishwasher and if I do such a horrid task as cough once from swallowing my food wrong, I get incredibly dizzy and weak (if I don’t straight up faint) and any time my heart rate goes over 95ish my head hurts transiently and may develop into a whole migraine and my persistent (but dynamic) hand tremor gets way worse and the list goes on

and one of the other meds I’m out of is my chronic GERD medication so I end up with a lot of that swallowing trouble and sore throat and nausea and heartburn

and the other med I’m out of is the one that helps me sleep so I’m at my body’s mercy when it comes to falling asleep, and even when I am on that med I have periods of 24-48 hours where I can’t fall asleep at all until I suddenly crash

and I’m almost out of my other 2 daily medications

and I go thru this every fucking time I need to request more refills cause the doctors office insists I do it thru the pharmacy but every pharmacy insists on waiting til my meds are due enough to be filled and then they never get the refills from my doc til I request to my doc directly

and I get 90-day fills so depending on how many refills I’m able to be given I go thru this at least once per year and I go through a different flavor of the same bullshit just getting my refills actually filled so the ~4 times I have to deal w the pharmacy always go to shit

and the pharmacy never has my meds in stock so even when I get my refills they’ll notice that when they go to fill it and then order it and I have to wait for my meds to arrive too (usually at least 1-2 days but has taken additional 1-2 weeks before) after I get the prescription/refills renewed

just GIVE ME MY FUCKING MEDS I have no choice but to rely on this system to get my meds so I don’t end up in the ER or dead and the system always fucking fails me

ER visits are inevitable if I go without my meds too long and the ER usually doesn’t do Jack Fucking Shit except send me home after a couple hours and tell me that’s smth my primary care doc will have to handle, even though my primary care doc urges me to go to the ER when it reaches a certain point and I only go as a last resort when im already beyond that point)