#it's been so long since i wrote that bless also sad

[lksvi]

love him and let him love you

𝆹⭒ re6!leon kennedy x gn!reader

⏜ ‎ ◯𝆹⭒ synopsis — meeting you in raccoon city was a blessing. now, you've become the light within leon's darkest hours.

𝆹⭒◯ ⏜ content — fluff, probably some angst?, no uses of [name], i love leon kennedy, focuses on leon, a lot of leon reflecting

⏜ ‎ ◯𝆹⭒ word count — 2.2k

𝆹⭒◯ ⏜ note — the mischaracterization of leon kennedy makes me Sad so i wrote this. also requests r open js as a reminder!!!! enjoy this work!

𝆹⭒ masterlist

Leon is a graveyard of empty promises and bloodied corpses. Too many times has he promised what he cannot uphold, given what he shouldn’t– At his core, he is selfless. His heart beats the same direction of Ashley’s veins and his breath is remnant of Luis’ cigarette smoke. Those things kill, you know, he had said, not yet understanding what Spain had in store for him.

If there was any test of loyalty to his country, it was Spain.

He can’t tell you what he went through. The government holds him on a tight leash, never straying too far from the D.S.O. headquarters. Your home is a temporary peace; a light in the dark. Soft cushions and open windows, moonlight filtered through glass. Tranquility is not often felt by Leon, but whenever he is with you, at your home, with the gentle light of the moon brushing over pale skin, it buries itself into his bones. Carves into the marrow, makes a home of his ribcage.

Peace has never felt so free until he met you.

He thinks of that time often: Surrounded by the groans of the undead, brain matter sticking to the soles of his shoes. Yet, in the darkness of Raccoon City, laid a savior in the shape of you. Leon, a rookie cop who had yet to experience the weight of the world, thought you were an angel. He thought your purpose was to guide him out of the shadows, rescue him from the grime and filth that was Raccoon City.

Instead, he rescued you. Adrenaline pricked at his skin, shot through his veins. He remembers the sight of you: All-consuming fear swimming deep within angelic eyes, covering you head-to-toe. His gun did not feel heavy, nor did the bullet sound loud. All he could focus on was you, you, you.

He did not hear himself ask you, “Are you okay?” He simply saw you nod, and without a second glance, reached out to touch you. Fate intertwined your paths, brought you to him and him to you, for this moment. For Leon to gently grasp your wrist, flesh marred with dried crimson and flakes of dirt. For him to guide you to the police station, luminescent lights flickering overhead.

Underneath the fake lighting, he saw beauty personified. Breathless from running or from the sight of you, he did not know, but even if he wasn’t already panting, he would’ve started at the mere glance of you. He’s seen beautiful women, ones who turn heads and capture the lenses of cameras, but he thinks any lens would’ve shattered upon your grace.

Ever since Raccoon City, Leon has had a sworn duty: Protect the country and protect you. Helping has always been second nature for him, ever since he was six-years-old and standing up for the bullied kids housed in the orphanage, but for you, it’s his first. He helps you before he thinks of helping himself. Even with mundane tasks such as unscrewing the lids of jars and reaching something on the top shelf for you come natural to him.

He’s always helping you. So, he doesn’t know what to do with himself when you help him instead.

It’s long after midnight. Moonlight seeps through panes of glass, illuminating your living room. Tonight is cold and lonely. You reside by yourself, the glow of the television the only source of light within the home. A blanket drapes over you, shielding you from the cold, and a hot cup of tea sits on the coffee table. You’re about to go to bed when there’s a knock at your door.

You weren’t expecting anyone tonight. Confusion knits between your brows, teeth digging into your bottom lip as you stand up. Cautiously, you undo the locks and open the door, surprised to see Leon there. His sleeves are rolled up, dirt and grime stuck to the surface of his knuckles and inside of his nails. Turning up at your house with bruises and scratches are common for Leon, but he looks particularly rough tonight.

“Leon!” You gasp, moving to the side to let him in. A crooked smile plays on nude-colored lips as he steps inside, a shiver racking his frame. Dark blue fabric does little to shield him from the cold. The first few buttons are undone, revealing an array of yellow and purples peeking out from beneath it, along with a few cuts along his collarbone. “I thought you weren’t supposed to be back for another two weeks?”

A light chuckle escapes him. He’s grateful to be back in your home, the comfort already making a home within his beating heart. “Got back a little earlier,” Leon responds, raspy timbre not giving away his exhaustion. You don’t miss the hitch in his breath when he steps, or the way he tries to conceal his pain. “Thought I’d swing by, pay you a visit. How’re you holdin’ up?”

You don’t answer his question, too busy eyeing the unusual color against his skin, eyebrows furrowed. “You’re hurt,” You say instead. He offers a small sigh, a tug at the corner of his lips. “S’The job, sweetheart. What can you do?”

Gently, you lead him to your bathroom. It’s small, barely able to fit the two of you, but you make it work. You treat him as if he’s made of glass, even if you know he isn’t. Although you don’t know what happens in his line of work, you see the aftermath of it. The angry splotches against his skin, dark bruising and crimson-dried cuts. “Was this one of the rough ones?” You ask softly, even if you know the answer.

Leon can try to lie. He can attempt to conceal the truth behind vague words and shifty eyes, but he doesn’t. He sighs, watches you get out the first aid kit, and nods. “It’s always rough,” He mutters, eyes cast downwards. Talking about work isn’t something he enjoys. He doesn’t like to bring his work home, even if it infects certain aspects of his day-to-day life subconsciously.

He doesn’t trust anyone. He eyes down any suspicious looking person while getting you both coffee, always takes a sip of yours before he gives it to you, just in case. You don’t know he does these things– He’d rather deal with his paranoia himself. He doesn’t want to make you paranoid. Leon keeps you close to him in crowds, a hand splayed out on the small of your back or an arm wrapped around your waist or your hands intertwined. Touching you in some way is a must. If he can’t physically feel you, he thinks you’re going to disappear.

And Leon understands it’s silly. The things he does, the precautions he takes, he knows it’s coming from a place of anxiety. Humor me, won’t you? is what he asks every time, accompanied with a playful click of his tongue. Yet, he’d rather be safe than sorry. Risking your safety in any way is the greatest sin of all, one he refuses to even chance.

You try your best to cheer him up. His job is dangerous, that much you know, but you try to be a beacon of light for him. He has a mansion of his own, but you always welcome your quaint home up to him. A place of safety. At first, he didn’t take it. Showing up at your home was rare, if he came at all. Truthfully, he was worried about infecting your home. Plaguing the air with his anxiety, worries, and fears; somehow shifting the quiet environment to one of chaos.

His own house may be tainted, but he didn’t want to risk yours.

“Take off your shirt for me,” You instruct him. The first aid kit is laid out on the counter, gauze and bandages and band-aids littered about. He’ll never admit it, but he always looks forward to your band-aids. You always go for a colorful theme of some kind. Last time, your bandages were space themed, littered with stars and galaxies and asteroids. He secretly loves your themed band-aids.

This time, they’re Hello-Kitty themed. One of the characters, who you’ve told him is My Melody, takes up the space of the band-aid. His lips quirk in a smile. “Hello-Kitty this time, huh?” He says as he unbuttons his shirt, letting the fabric fall to the ground. Scars litter the expanse of his chest and abdomen, taut skin stretched across muscles. Chasing down Bio-Organic Weapons for a living gave him the physique he dreamed of having as a young boy (with several scars added, too).

He doesn’t say it out loud, but the themed band-aids remind him of Sherry. The young girl you two had taken care of for a short amount of time, who Leon sacrificed the rest of his adult life for. Getting recruited as a government agent was his part of keeping you, and her, safe. In exchange for his recruitment, you and Sherry got to live a normal life. Although Sherry was much more grown up, now. Seeing her in China had been whiplash for Leon.

She was a young woman now, different yet similar to the little girl you two had rescued long ago. He was different, too. No longer a bright-eyed rookie cop who blindly protected in the name of justice. He thinks back to Ada’s words– “You haven’t changed. You just think you have.”– and ponders on if he really has changed. In a way, he has. Gruesome sights and ungodly terrors have plagued him, shaped him into a man of battle. But in a way, he still helps. He still offers a hand to those in need.

Helping people has always been what he wants to do. It sits at the core of his being, flowing through his blood. He thinks of Ashley, Luis, and Sherry– All the people he could and couldn’t save. He will never be okay with not being able to save everyone. It keeps him up at night, infects his dreams until they morph into night terrors.

But he has saved people. Like you.

You nod your head, cleaning the cut on his collarbone and decorating it with a band-aid. He doesn’t tell you that he saw Sherry– Not yet, anyway. He doesn’t want to disturb the serene silence. It brings forth tranquility, a type he only feels when around you. It’s quiet as you continue patching him up, save for your delicate humming (a quirk about you that he loves– Silence often scares Leon, makes him await when the next B.O.W. will find him or when an enemy will come out of nowhere. Your humming doesn’t interrupt the silence, instead making it more peaceful) and the sound of gauze and bandages ripping.

Sleep tugs at his eyelids. It isn’t often he gets the pleasure of falling asleep, but he hopes he does tonight. Even so, he’ll get to lay with you, and that’s enough to relax him.

When you finish, you smile at him. “All done,” You tell him. You card a gentle hand through his hair, brush through the knots with nimble fingers. Luxuries such as brushing his hair aren’t often thought about during his missions. Typically, he comes back with his hair in knots. He hates the feeling of you brushing through them, but he enjoys sitting on the floor in front of the couch, your legs over his shoulders. Leon will turn his head as you’re combing through his hair simply to press a kiss to the inside of your thigh, leaving you to complain about having to start all over.

It’s the domesticity that kills him to be away from you. Thoughts of you persist even when he’s on a mission. Close calls have led to him thinking if leaving you, gentle kisses and exchanged laughter, would be the last time he saw you. A few times he’s picked himself up, even when an ache settles itself into his bones and he’s lost blood by the liters, because the thought of leaving you tears him apart. Never getting to see you making breakfast for him or your tongue sticking out when you focus or the blotches on your lips after anxiety-ridden days would break him.

He never wants to leave you. The image of you sobbing, tissues piled high and comforter up to your chin, makes his heart ache. He’s getting up before he realizes it, tugging you close. He hopes you can feel his heartbeat and understand that it beats for you. Leon’s never been good at expressing his emotions, but he hopes you know how much he loves you. How he would die and kill and tear apart flesh a thousand times over just to come home to your sweet smile.

“C’mon, sweet thing,” He murmurs into your hair. Rough fingertips gently scratch up your back, caressing the soft skin. He pulls away, just to see you look up at him. In this moment, he memorizes your eyes and your smile. He memorizes the feel of your skin, the smell of your perfume, the veins that map out a river beneath your flesh. He memorizes you and your love. “Let’s get to bed.”

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 25 . Rumination

a/n: Fun fact: when I drafted the storyboard for this it was suppose to have 19 chapters but when I wrote it it ended up having 26 chapters... idfk what happened...

tags: feelings in progress

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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“So you actually have the option of just giving out your vitality instead of absorbing someone else’s wound?”

Choi Han asked _____ as the healer examined the scratch on his palm.

“Yeah, that’s what the God of Death told me. But honestly, this is easier to do.”

At that moment the scratch transferred over to _____. Making Choi Han retreat his hand.

“_____-nim give that back. Give it back right now.”

“Why are you asking for it like it’s something you bought? Plus it’s just a scratch, look it’s barely visible on me.”

The healer looked at the swordmaster confusedly. They couldn’t understand why his so adamant about returning the wound.

“At least take some of my vitality.”

“What–? No way! I just healed you!”

“Then give it back _____-nim.”

“Give what back?”

Cale– no. Naru’s voice suddenly interjected in the conversation. He looked at the two, curious as to what they could have been arguing about.

“Human you’re back! _____ was practising their healing abilities on Choi Han but then got impatient and absorbed the wound instead. Now Choi Han is asking them to give his wound back!”

Raon answered Cale’s curiosity instead of the two. The now 12-year-old child could only frown and shake his head.

“_____ remember that we agreed that you’ll practice because I won’t let you absorb anyone else’s wounds.”

“I’m trying, I’m trying.”

_____ waved their hand off at Cale’s scolding.

And it's true. They have been working hard to adjust to the new change in how they use their power. It’s hard to not automatically absorb someone’s wound or sickness but the healer figured they’d master it soon enough.

It’s just that there’s a lot on their mind right now.

The blessing of the gods. White Star’s plans. Cale’s real identity. Their feelings.

It’s just a lot to take in all at once.

Others understand that the healer’s mind is complicated. That’s why they don’t put any pressure. Reassure _____ that they are mostly in the Endable Kingdom for Cale’s peace of mind. That they can relax because they’d only have to move if it’s an emergency.

“You also know about our human _____?”

Raon spoke vaguely one day. Despite that, the healer still understood what he meant and the reason for his vague words.

“I do. It’s a secret among the four of us right?”

_____ put their index finger on their face to emphasize the secrecy.

“Yes! I won't tell anyone!”

The dragon spun excitedly around the room. It makes _____smile, it had been so long since they’d talked with Raon and they were glad his as energetic as before.

However, the mention of Cale’s secret got them thinking about his real identity. _____ didn’t mind it. The current Cale is the one they knew. So they have no qualms about his identity.

But they did fear the chance of those who knew the original Cale finding out. Like his parents or Ron.

What would be the chance that they’d be sad? Upset that all this time it actually wasn’t their Cale but someone else.

_____’s heart ache at the thought of it.

Cale– no, Kim Rok Soo sounds like he already lost so much. It would be unfair if he lost his biological family here too.

Something like that happening would be cruel.

Not just to Cale, but to his family as well.

“You know… This kind of feels like I’m on babysitting duty.”

_____ suddenly said while eating dinner with Naru.

“...What the fuck?”

The disguised man almost choked on his food at the random statement.

“_____… No… Please…”

A sour look painted his face. As if the thought of _____ babysitting him was so vile.

“I understand. Stop looking at me like that, I’ll shut up about it.”

The healer laughed before continuing to eat their food. A few minutes of silence lingered as the two finished their food.

After eating, the two decided to hang out on Naru’s bed. With _____ sitting on it while Naru lay his head on the healer’s lap.

“Are you having a hard time?”

_____ stroked Naru’s white hair as they asked the question.

“Just a bit.”

He answered truthfully. The healer hummed, encouraging him to speak further.

“But it’s manageable. I’m doing it for our friends after all.”

“I’m glad. Once we solve this let’s get you that slacker life.”

Their conversation ended at that. Both decide to silently bask in each other’s presence. Lost in their train of thought.

Friends…

Cale’s response to _____’s question made the healer realise something. It made them realise just how loved they are right now.

How they have been so focused on other things that they didn’t notice it. Too busy chasing the ghost of the past. Getting validation from those who will never give it. When in fact they already have so much.

They have found their real family. They are so loved.

Just now are they realising such facts.

Regret and happiness rush through their body at the reflection.

Satisfaction comes along right behind them.

‘Yeah, things as they are right now are fine. I don’t need anything else, just my friends and their love. There’s no need to pursue romance. I’m sure it’ll go away someday.’

Was what _____ thought to themself.

However, some time later…

“Do you know just how much my heart longed for you while I was away?”

“Cale..? Excuse… me..?”

[doki-doki-imagines]

Hi, hope you’re doing great!! if requests are still open could you please do an scenario/whatever you feel comfortable of mk1 raiden figuring out that his really thin s/o actually has a disorder by realizing that they maintain a highly restrictive diet, are always making excuses to avoid eating and although they do their best to hide it they look tired all the time?

No problem if you don't feel comfortable doing it or you just don't feel like it!!! I just wanted to feel comforted by my favorite character because the thoughts have been getting kinda bad since last week and I wanted some extra strength to fight them and keep recovering!!! ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´- (also, sorry if my request is not completely understandable, I'm still learning english)

author note: keep figting dear! This kind of war is long and it's worse since the enemy is yourself, but the reward will be worth it. I tried my best, if what I wrote makes you uncomfortable hit me up and I'l edit/delete it. Hope you'll like it!

-Raiden doesn't suspect anything, only seeing the positive side of your relationship. That's why when you tell him what's going on during the bad week, he is surprised. -And sad. Not because Raiden thinks you are a burden but because he didn't notice what's going on with the person he loves the most. Raiden never helped you out. -That's why now he'll try to make up for the lost time. -Raiden will cook your meals. He wants you to understand the blessing of food, the deliciousness of each product he cooks for you, the joy of eating, even more if with a loved one. -He'd love if you helped him cook, trying new recipes together, and overall having fun. -Raiden wants to erase the idea of food you have and build a healthy one, and having fun seems a good way to start. -He always asks if you eat, not because he wants to control you or act disappointed. Raiden wants to understand how many steps forward you've made to better understand the next course of action. -He knows that it's a long road ahead, so he is never disappointed, not even when you have the temptation to go back to unhealthy tracks. -Is your mind worried that you'll go from an extreme to the other? Don't worry, Raiden will gladly train with you! -He'll never go hard on you, but for sure, Raiden will make you sweat! You will be so tired when you get back home. -You always train away from the other monks, Raiden likes to deliver a kiss or pull your cheeks when nobody is looking, between a run and a spar. -And there a warm noodles soup is waiting for you, cooked to perfection and with that touch of love that makes everything taste better. -"We'll get over this." He tells you while cleaning the dishes, you next to him drying them with a rag. "Together." Raiden's voice drop low, hands still in the warm water, but his lips on your forehead. You hug his side, his warm lips not leaving your skin. -Raiden never promises what he can't deliver.

[project-sekai-facts]

okay i just had a lore meltdown in a reblog so i need chat's opinion

are this-reality vocalops real for project sekai characters? like, could rui be canonically a hitoyama/mothy fan? and most importantly - are the commissions we get actually the same as the ones written during the stories? because it's often implied that they are, especially with leo/need (and made-to-order specifically i guess??) but then what.

sorry but trying to fit jackpot sad girl's lyrics into a context that it's written by kanade keeps me up at night why is this teenage girl beefing with hachi all of the sudden

ALSO if you consider whatever the fuck the evillous collab was does this imply that producers can get their personal sekais. and not be aware of their existence. OR ARE THEY? WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON WITH "SEKAIS BASED ON MEMORIES" AND WHY WAS THIS NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN I NEED ANSWERS

^ is painfully aware that there could be a very simple explanation but loves to overcomplicate stupid things

Yes, Vocaloid-Ps exist in-universe! Ichika is sorta one since she owns a Miku voicebank and is learning how to use it. Also I shit you not, it's heavily implied that Rui is a fan of those guys. He mentions liking how Vocaloid can be used to tell stories in KAITO's 1* story.

Any song that the characters write in a story is not the same as the commission for the event. If you play the story with music the songs written are always played at some point and they're just OST. Although it may at first seem like Order Made and Utsuro wo Aogu are the songs written by Ichika and Toya within their respective events, when their songs are played in the story, they're actually Count Your Blessings and Step by Step. Order Made is canon though, since it's performed in virtual lives. As I said, commissioned songs that are performed in virtual lives are canon but were likely created by the SEKAI (since they aren't treated as covers, and it's not like vocaloPs are producing songs for teenagers in a pocket dimension).

Jackpot Sad Girl doesn't exist in-universe (possibly, not sure how canon the connect lives are). The song Kanade wrote in Captive Marionette is actually called Marionette, and is never played during the story.

Remember I wrote that really long post about SEKAI lore and then just slapped on the end that they're a metaphor for worldbuilding in music? That's how I'm explaning the Evillious SEKAI. Hey, if the vocaloid characters can manifest into existence then characters based on those characters can also manifest into existence too I guess.

All the VocaloPs that we know canonically exist are:

EasyPop (Happy Synthesizer is played multiple times)

Giga (Rettou Joutou is played multiple times, and the An/Akito GimmexGimme archive is canon. Also drop pop candy cover)

Orangestar (Vivids Asu no Yozora Shoukaihan archive, Kaisei cover)

Eve (BAD DOGS Dramaturgy archive, Oki ni Mesu mama cover)

Surii (Kohane/Toya Junky Night Town Orchestra archive, Ego Rock cover)

takamatt (BAD DOGS TOKIO FUNKA archive)

noripy (Vivids Migikata no Chou archive)

iroha(sasaki) (Kohane/Akito Roshin Yuukai archive)

n-buna (An/Toya Yoake to Hotaru archive, Umiyuri Kaiteitan cover, Meru cover)

and every producer of a cover song which has a 3DMV and has been performed in a Virtual Live. This includes (with their song(s) in brackets):

MikitoP (ROKI, Shoujorei, Yī Èr Fanclub)

Junky (Sweet Magic)

Sasanomaly (Jishou Mushoku)

Natsushiro Takaaki (Near)

nulut (Fragile)

toa (Tsugihagi Staccato)

Harumaki Gohan (Melty Land Nightmare)

koyori (Hitorinbo Envy)

Omoi (Teo)

Hinata Electric Works (Buriki no Dance)

164 (Time Machine)

40mP (Time Machine)

balloon (Charles)

Kurage-P/Wada Takeaki (Chururira Chururira Daddadda!)

doriko (Romeo to Cinderella)

syudou (Bitter Choco Decoration)

NayutalieN (Dance Robot Dance)

Kitani Tatsuya (Akuma no Odorikata)

Fujiwara Motoo/the band BUMP OF CHICKEN (ray)

Neru (Lost One no Goukoku)

Umetora (Ifuudoudou)

Yunosuke (PaIII.SENSATION)

Teniwoha (Villain)

sasakure.UK (Lost and Found)

DECO*27 (Vampire)

JIN (Children Record)

Pinnochio-P (Non-Breath Oblige)

rerulili (Kami no Manimani)

Kikuo (Aishite Aishite Aishite)

Hachioji-P (Kimagure Mercy)

Hayashi Kei (Hello, Worker)

Hiiragi Kirai (Love ka?)

(Ikanaide, Karakuri Pierrot, Egoist, Okochama Sensou, glow, Totemo Suteki na Rokugatsu Deshita, Nounai Kakumei Girl, Shiroi Yuki no Princess wa, Sukina Koto Dake de Ii Desu, Akuyaku ni Kiss Scene o have not been performed in a vlive yet)

Additionally

All the producers listed here (though, this is debatable since it was handled externally)

Presumably all the producers of the vsinger 3DMVs that aren't already listed above (Livetune, Re:nG, SLAVE.V-V-R, JimmyThumb-P)

And any lyricists/arrangers not listed above (q*left, Rockwell, REOL, etc)

Possibly mothy, Hitoshizuku-P, yama (based on Rui's reference to storytelling with Vocaloid and these being the most famous for doing so thus most likely to be the subject of the reference)

[sgiandubh]

"He's actually paying those PR people? Whatever for? A drunk wombat would be better at the task." I LOL'd because my god have we been asking this very question of both Sam and Cait for years. They're PR is actually the worst. It's honestly hard to believe at times. Absolutely zero idea who either of them are trying to reach. The recalibrating after that VF disaster sent Cait into hiding, I'm not sure she's done another print interview since Belfast promo ended and if the Sam articles are going to continue on this way, he can quit too. Boring.

Dear Quit Anon,

I am flattered I managed to bring a smile or even a LOL, but I am not particularly glad about it. Unlike droves of people who think this PR shitshow is sad, I actually find it mystifying.

You are right. Goddess C went into occultation after that cursed VF interview. There are clear reasons, I think, for that. Also, please take into account the fact that, despite the illusions peddled by some fuckwits in this fandom, there are many things we simply do not know (nor should we, most probably).

As for S, I guess that ever since she went totally MIA (as I said, make-up and fash-un promo don't really compensate), he is overexposing himself. On purpose. Perhaps to protect her (I think so). Certainly to hide something. Since this is no way in hell about being gay (I will die on that hill and I know I am right), the only thing he could hide is well... I don't really need to draw it, do I?

Smoke and mirrors is always a risky strategy. S simply hasn't got what it takes to play that game long term, probably for the same reasons he was never a serious shortlist candidate for Bond. At this point in time, he'd mechanically go with whatever merde du jour is thrown by his imbecile PR on the table. Still, it's high time he'd seriously pull himself together. He can do better, as I wrote in a comment: he can do NYT and he did it very well, recently. And I was glad to see that. But Metro is just disappointing, clueless and tasteless. And it's padding up a press portfolio with amiable, meaningless bullshit that goes nowhere. Or at least nowhere near he wants to be or see himself in, let's say, five years from now.

OL is going to end. It has to. It's been both a blessing and a curse, I said that before. Then, it will be high time to end the fucking Truman Show. He (abstractly) knows that, he keeps hinting about it. “I’m ready for new challenges, but also nervous about what it’s like in the real world” - for some reason, I found this phrase very telling. But I doubt he internalized what probably still feels like a safely remote occurrence, right now.

What are his real projects? For the moment, zero. Directing? I'd love to see it, but he's got no real credentials for that. Bond? I mean, publicly gushing and insisting is not going to manifest it. He needs a real movie, a good one to break that glass ceiling. Is he going to get it? I hope so. But his personal brand awareness is still low. The PR clowns should stop talking to us, in here: we are already here and not going anywhere. All of us: antis, mommies, shippers, fencers, haters, trolls. They should talk to the people who have no clue who S is, and do it differently. He should step out of his comfort zone, ditch the leeches and refuse to discuss his personal life, for a while. There, I said it.

What are her real projects? For the moment, not much. Sure, we have The Cut, where I gather her part is minimalistic, to be kind. We also have The Amateur, of which very little is known at the moment. However, if I am correct, she is not one of the leads. Enough said. And beyond that? Crickets.

Make no mistake. The real litmus test is not now. The real litmus test is 2025. And then we'll see. And I'll still be here, taking weeping Anons because I don't know who said I don't know what I don't know where. Mark me.

[aphroditelovesu]

A Flower in the Winter

❝🌾 — lady l: I wrote this as a preview of that headcanon I did of Demeter a while ago, you can read it by clicking here. I decided to delve into that and how Demeter felt before meeting the reader. I hope you like it! ❤️

❝tw: mention of parental neglect.

❝word count: 772.

The goddess of agriculture watched the beautiful snowy fields with a deep sense of melancholy. Her shoulders were slumped and her normally stern expression was sad and her gaze filled with unshed tears. It was like another one of her days away from her beloved daughter, she became just a dust than she used to be when Persephone was with her. She just felt empty and aimless.

She needed her beloved daughter with her. She was desperate and would do anything to have her loving daughter with her at all times. Anything.

Demeter missed her daughter very much and even the most terrible winters and the suffering of humanity with it did not help her feel better. Maybe nothing would make her feel she could never replace her beloved daughter and it's not like she wants to. She just wants to have Persephone back with her again, like they were before that bastard Hades kidnapped her.

Unfortunately none of that was possible.

Demeter took a deep breath, enjoying the cold winter breeze. It had been about two months since her daughter returned to the Underworld and again the goddess found herself alone. She doesn't remember how lonely she would be after the blessed six months had passed. With the departure of her beloved daughter, sadness completely consumed her and all the plantations were facing a harsh winter. It was a vicious and unbreakable cycle.

A loud wail was present near where the goddess was sitting and she looked towards the noise, but her eyes did not catch anything. Shrugging, she went back to focusing on her feelings, but the noise was heard again but closer. Demeter looked over her shoulder suspiciously and without much interest, but her eyes nearly popped out of her orbs after she glanced at a child, a girl she thought looked a lot like someone she detested.

This child was practically identical to the God of the Underworld. Identical to Hades.

For a few moments the goddess didn't know what to do, she was beyond confused and distraught. She was completely distraught. Just a few glances at the child in front of her was enough for her to figure out who she was.

The goddess of agriculture always knew she had a granddaughter but she never thought much about it. She never bothered to meet her despite being asked several times by Persephone, she didn't want to have to deal with yet another proof that her daughter really had been taken from her. Demeter wanted nothing to do with her, and a small part of her felt resentful of a child she'd never seen in her life because of everything that had happened. She knows it's irrational but she doesn't care.

But now looking at the tiny, frail, crying figure of the child, she didn't know what to do. Why was she there? How did she get out of the Underworld? Did she run away or did Persephone send her daughter to go comfort her mother?

She honestly couldn't say, but just contented herself with watching the child who also didn't take her teary eyes away from the goddess. The two stared at each other for a while, until the girl decided to break the silence, ''Grandma?'' The voice was low and uncertain, but Demeter heard it loud and clear.

Demeter was silent, she felt strange being called that. The girl didn't even wait to hear an answer and ran to where the goddess was sitting. Demeter shuddered as she felt small arms hugging her tightly and with a certain desperation. Not knowing what to do, she hesitantly returned the hug which grew warmer the longer it lasted.

This isn't so bad, she thought. How long has it been since I received such a warm hug?

She finally understood what had happened to her granddaughter after hearing the hurried words come out of her little mouth. Demeter felt sulky and she saw herself in that child, she had been neglected by her parents and that's why she decided to flee to the surface. And she felt a satisfaction in discovering that she was the one her granddaughter was looking for.

Maybe it's not such a bad thing to take care of a child again. It's not so bad having a granddaughter to love and care for.

Demeter decided to take in her granddaughter. She saw in her a second chance to have what had been taken from her but this time the goddess knew she wouldn't make the same mistake twice. Nobody would take her granddaughter away from her, she won't let that happen again.

It's not so bad having a granddaughter to love and care for.

[dk-wren]

Day 5 - Child of Blessing

Let me try and set the scene, I did not watch TriStamp as it was airing, though it was on my radar since I kept seeing posts about it on here. It caught my attention, but I was already preoccupied with another show last winter, so I told myself "later." When I finally had a break over the summer, it was the first show I sat down with, then it became the fastest show I've binged (essentially in a night). I watched it first in sub, then again like a week later in dub because I could not stop thinking about it!

There are so many scenes, moments, reveals, etc. I could list off the top of my head that blew me away and left my jaw on the floor. But after that first watch, one episode, or rather, one scene kept coming back to mind: episode 5, "Child of Blessing" (specifically its ending)

I wanted to share today the thoughts I wrote down not too long after my first watch as I figured out potentially why that scene stuck out to me so much. I wrote it stream of conscious, so please forgive the rambling and minimal editing. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

As I was (re)watching Trigun Stampede, looking back on it, there is one scene in particular that really stands out to me and leaves me with that lingering thought of “oh damn, this is so hauntingly beautiful.” The episodes discussing Vash and also Wolfwood’s past are just incredible, and I even saw one article argue that the first episode focused on Wolfwood’s past might have been the best episode of the winter ‘23 anime season, which I totally understand and would defend. However, interestingly, as I continuously (or perhaps religiously is the better term) listen to the Trigun Stampede soundtrack and have gone back a few times to rewatch this show, it’s the ending for episode 5 that really just makes me sit there and stare, thinking about all of it. Like I said above, there is something so hauntingly beautiful about after everything Vash and Wolfwood went through in that abandoned city (Windmill Village I believe is how it's referred to) and with Rollo, that as the group drives away, to suddenly see the windmills start turning, resulting in the power coming back on and theoretically life being brought back into that city, like it hit something inside of me that I can’t really define. Earlier in the episode, in flashbacks to Rollo as a child, he was deemed to be a blessed child or something to that effect in that he would be the next in line to be sacrificed to bring good fortune to their city. And thinking about that and Wolfwood’s “mercy” killing of Rollo, it’s like, no Rollo’s death/sacrifice did bring good fortune to the city. It’s just so sad that his death was prolonged by Dr. Conrad’s experiments and after everyone had left the town. The score in this scene too! Like, don’t talk to me, the reprise of one of the main melodies to just such a haunting and somewhat ominous tone. Plus, the fact that it’s called “Human Subject” on the album. I feel like I’m rambling (heck, I know I am), but just all the elements and the build up of that episode, it does something to stir my emotions! Just gotta sit for a moment and think about everything that happened.

Getting to sit and really rewatch these episodes each day as a part of @tristampparty, the argument? discussion? talk? between Vash and Wolfwood right before the end of the episode, with Vash asking Wolfwood why did he shoot and him replying "Mercy," is another standout moment for me. I wish I had more time to write about it (or could at least put it into words better), but I love how it explores the dichotomies in Vash and Wolfwood's thinking or ideology, which was set up in ep. 4 and explored in this one. Wolfwood's response, "Mercy," causes Vash to stop and think since I'd argue that directly contradicts the reason Vash wanted to keep Rollo alive.

Based on my interpretation, which feel free to disagree with, to spare Rollo from death, to finally fulfill his promise to Rollo that we saw in the flashbacks, saying how he would be there if Rollo ever needed help, to Vash, that is "mercy." The comfort of having someone who can see him for the person underneath all the machinery and experimentation and to not instantly run away in fear, this is Vash's perception of "mercy" in this situation. However, for Wolfwood, because he is just like Rollo, taken away from his childhood home to be experimented on, death and escaping the fate (and likely the pain) that was forced upon them is "mercy." Wolfwood's actions represent the first time someone in their group, or really who isn't labeled as an explicit foe/enemy, actually manages to upset Vash since Wolfwood broke the main tenant of Vash's philosophy.

.

.

.

Thank you for reading and coming to my rambling session! As I briefly mentioned above, there are a lot of episodes and moments that I cannot get over from TriStamp. And while I don't know if I would say ep. 5 is my favorite, I just wanted to give it some love and talk about its ending for today.

[it-happened-one-fic]

Home - Vash

Author Notes: Random Trigun fic! Go! This one is another super self-indulgent birthday fic for myself. It's been a little bit since I finished watching Trigun Stampede, but I really enjoyed and wrote this. I just kind of wanted to give Vash some flowers after everything was said and done. Reader is gender-netural, I hope you enjoy!

Type: Fluff/ set in Trigun Stampede/ gender neutral reader

Word count: 901

It had been quite some time since we’d last seen Vash, and while it was a sadness that he stayed away for such long periods, it was also a blessing. Because every time he came home, he was hurt.

But he was back again, for the first time in years, and he was hurt again. Hurt, broken, and more emotionally scarred than he had been when we’d last seen him.

And despite all of that, when I opened the door with a smile on my face to welcome him home, Vash smiled back at me. Ever happy, friendly, and impossibly kind, even though he’d been rejected by so many and hurt so frequently.

“Y/n! Hey, it’s been so long,” He sat forward, all goofy smiles and long flailing limbs, as he attempted to work himself into a somewhat comfortable position. 

I shook my head with a smile, unable to figure out exactly how Vash could be… Well, Vash. It seemed so impossible to be so openly warm and kind when he’d faced such horrors. Horrors that, truthfully speaking, I could never really imagine.

“It has been a long time; I’ve been wondering when you’d come back.” I grinned at him, my tone teasingly accusatory, and causing him to lean back with a laugh. Rubbing at the back of his neck like he was ashamed, even though both of us knew I was just messing with him.

“How have the flowers been going? Neither Brad nor Luida mentioned them, they were too busy welcoming me back or scolding me,” His words made me chuckle slightly as I entered the room, careful to keep my hands behind my back in the hopes of hiding his gift that I’d been working on for countless years now.

“As they should have. Besides, it looks like you busted your arm again; of course Brad was going to scold you,” I eyed the cracked green metal. Knowing full well that it meant that he’d no doubt put himself in some sort of impossibly risky position to save people who may or may not have rejected him.

But I didn’t let my concerns show. Instead, I kept smiling and messing around with the man who hadn’t changed, even though it had quite possibly been centuries since he’d last visited.

I couldn’t quite bring myself to broach the matter of the flowers when I was hiding such a gift behind me. 

Yellow flowers, with brightly shining faces that never failed to remind me of the man in front of me and his dauntless kindness. So like the sun that rose every day and, though it had the power to destroy, instead provided us with the light and warmth needed to survive.

They were my greatest success and were flowers that I myself had cultivated. But more importantly, they had one singular purpose. To bring some joy and warmth into the life of the man who filled everyone else's lives with joy, warmth, and did his best to protect us even when he was scorned and rejected. Much like how we might hate the sun when it was too hot a day.

I had considered red flowers. After all, the only color Vash had ever mentioned liking was red. But, in truth, it was the color yellow that reminded me of Vash. And some selfish part of me wanted my gift to him to be special, just as he was to me.

“Y/n?” His voice brought me snapping back to the moment, my eyes widening as I noticed him staring at me curiously.

He’d been talking to me, but I had no idea what he’d been saying. And it was ridiculous to be so caught up in my thoughts when I’d been waiting for him to come back for so long.

“Sorry, I was just thinking Vash,” I shrugged, smiling awkwardly as I raised my shoulders in an almost apologetic way. And Vash frowned but nodded. Not asking, because he wasn’t one to push but always one to accept. 

I sighed, stepping towards him and, at last, producing the bouquet from behind me in lieu of an explanation. 

“Welcome home, Vash. I know they’re not red like those flowers you told me about all those years ago, but these are flowers I cultivated, and they reminded me of you.” I couldn’t bring myself to meet his wide-eyed gaze as I explained myself awkwardly.

But even when I’d first started cultivating these flowers, I knew that actually presenting them to Vash would be awkward, even despite how comfortable I was with the lanky man who called this place his home.

“The flowers are doing well; you can take these as evidence of this fact,” I at last looked up at his face, only to see tears starting to blossom in those bright blue eyes of his.

Before I could even utter his name with a sigh, I was crushed into a hug. The flowers had, at some point, been swiftly snatched from my hands and sat on the side table. Something that only he could do with that sometimes inhuman speed of his.

I laughed slightly as my arms wrapped around him responsively, “Vash.” His name bubbled out of my mouth. My voice filled with amusement at his eternally weepy disposition. 

But then he spoke, his voice filled with emotion as his face pushed into my shoulder, “Yeah… I’m home, Y/n.”

[lou-is-lurking]

20 questions for writers

thanks so much for tagging me, @they-lived 💜💜💜

These questions looked vaguely familiar, so I checked and found I answered an almost identical version here. It's been three years since then tho (??? sounds fake tbh), so some answers will be different (and some won't), so here we go

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 24

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 117,073

3. What fandoms do you write for? Yuri on Ice still owns my ass

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

No Nut November [Otayuri, E]

Jacky's and Becky's Bizarre Adventures [Otapliroy, T]

The Waiting Game [Otayuri, E]

Perfect Storm [Otayuri, E]

Off-Season Gossip [Otapliroy, M]

5. Do you respond to comments?

Almost always, but I'm sometimes still as slow about it as I was three years ago whoops 😅

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Still this one: Stuck making Excuses

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhhhh.I really don't know. Maybe No Nut November? Or Kiss it Better? Or even Not According to Plan? All the Friends to Lovers ones lol

8. Do you get hate on fics? No. Bless smaller, quieter fandoms lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hell yeah. Still the kinky kind, mostly. Which apparently was also my answer last time I did these questions, but I was Offended (affectionately) when @weeheilandcoo recently challenged me to "write normal sex" as if I never do that??? Which, uhhhhh, it seems I actually do not? So... Yeah. ("Vanilla??? SAD.")

10. Do you write crossovers?

Still only got that lone Yoi/Buffy crossover deep down in my WIP folder (tho apparently I worked on it sometime in October 2022 cos that's the date of the latest version lmao)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, actually! The first was Kiss It Better, translated to Russian and poted to ficbook Here.

Then this year No Nut November and Turn Down the Heat were also translated to Russian and posted on AO3 - with custom fanart / headers! 🥰 Awesome experience everytime, everyone was super sweet <3 <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, not fic at least. I've done a few co-writing projects for other stuff, but most of the time it didn't really work out / wasn't for me. Only exception: A short story for one of my Vampire the Masquearde RPG campaigns that I wrote together with a friend a long time ago. Batshit insane stuff. Good times. 😆

14. What is your all-time favorite ship? Otapliroy (and any other combination of these 3 boys)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

SO. MANY. UHHHHHGGGG 😭😭😭 Side-eying my 50s AU, specifically.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Humor. Banter. Dialogue in general, I guess.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

To actually fucking write lmao. Finishing a story to the point of being presentable. Also, pacing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Can work really well. Can also be fucking hilarious if the translation isn't accurate.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Some vampire show for kids when I was seven or eight. Not sure if that counts since I wasn't even aware of 'fandom' back then 😅

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Impossible to choose, would pick a different one every day lmao. But I've been having a lot of Pliroy thoughts lately so maybe today I'd pick Symbiosis .

Tagging any mutuals and followers who want to play! Feel free to tag me in your posts I' wanna'd love to read your answers 💜

[yuseirra]

Your essay reeks of passion. That's what I like about it.

I'm just as obsessed with psychology lol. I tried to analyse and anticipate this relationship when the manga wasn't finished yet and I got it right lol. I don't think we'll go wrong with our interpretation.

It hurts like hell when I see this ship lol, because it could have been beautiful and I love both characters. I think it also have an special meaning for me.

STORYTIME MOMENT

I think it's also because, I have to admit, one of the reasons I was an Ai yume / waifuist was because I found the character lovable but also because I felt understood (I have a pretty cynical view of the world lol but I'm taking care of myself). Thinking about helping me to get better and get back on track. Coping with life's problems at a time when I was being neglected. To give a little more meaning at a time when I was becoming nihilistic. So I wanted to give meaning to fiction. Because the real Ai was someone I understood. That person who was crushed by the world and just wanted to learn love, I could understand that. I've found a little joy where I was morose. It saved me. I wanted to love her, even though I know it's fiction and that she can't love me. It hurts me to know that, in the end, she hardly ever had anyone to love her. I wish I could have been that person. I don't care if it's unrequited. I love her. It's CRINGE with a C lol but it's true. A dimension separates me from her, what a sadness lol. I'm bound by the chains of attachment to her, and it's my curse and my blessing.

So I kind of understand him. When you don't have much, all it takes is a little and everything lights up. But lose it and you become dust and plunge into the abyss of despair. And in the possible and probable desire to make sense of it all.

So I want this ship not to end even worse, because I want someone to love her since I can't. A final tribute, even if they're separated by the barrier of life. Let my girl and my boy be happy for once.

Even if the work is dark and a bit creepy, it's become a work of comfort and I think I put a bit of my soul into it lol (as a text whose intensity I should have measured out).

You often make the comparison with Japanese gods, but I'd also like to give you another possibility that I've noticed: the story of Layla and Majnun. A man who can't marry the woman he loves because of circumstances around him and his mistakes, becomes crazy about the woman he loves and can't give up that love.

I was going to leave for the night(and I will after I answer this ask!) but I felt I shouldn't let this one go unattended for long..(it usually takes some time for me to get to messages;v;!! I need some energy)

Wanted to attach a picture of Ai!

Mhm, I can't daren't say I "understand", but I always felt like Ai is very real in many aspects even if she's a fictional character. What she's going through can apply to people in real life, and it's portrayed in a very lifelike way. I remember having read a review the first time I picked up this series, the person reviewing it wrote they could relate to her character so well because it is exactly the way they felt about things. They really couldn't comprehend what "love" could actually be like, as much as they wanted it, so they kept struggling to pretend they knew about it- something like that, I don't remember the exact details.

I felt from the beginning that her song and her story could reflect how some people really are, and that there would be people who's been where she is- but reading something like that really struck me. I feel Ai could and would be a very important/precious character for some, she displays emotions and goes through experiences that can be their reality. That makes me want to pay careful attention to depicting how she is sometimes/when I bring out her character. She's unique, but also quite universal.

I can't say I can fully understand how you'd feel because I haven't been in your shoes, but I can see how what you've mentioned can happen to you, it's really comforting to find something that you can relate to in a piece of media, right? It is that way for me too. Also, I hear fiction has that magic of increasing one's empathy (I read a study proves that in a book) we get to see how other people function and come to realize what they face a little better, we cry and laugh with them. When there's a character that's built really well(and Ai is created with careful attention and a lot of research, I feel, she's so detailed and delicate in terms of how she is as a character) it helps even more on that aspect. I respect that.

And isn't Ai really strong? She gets hurt, she's wary, scared and weird and she isn't perfect and she's built a big mask of lies, but what I felt about her on top of all that is that she tries really hard, and she never gives up on trying to love. Thinking how a young girl who's been so hurt and lonely and abused/neglected as a child was able to endure everything that she's gone through, and even HELP someone else during those struggles, and still dreaming, going out there to achieve what she wants about life, that's pretty inspiring. I think she can be a good example, despite her having met a pretty sad fate. I don't think her life was a failure, it was filled with new challenges and she tackled it with all her heart and she finally got what she really wanted in the end. She lived vigorously. There's a lot to learn from her, I feel. She perseveres and makes her wishes come true. That's why I want her to be happy in every aspect :) (her boyfriend better live up to her and I feel like he is someone who can) as well as everyone who's been in that spot to be as well! I want onk to be a story like that, and I think it will? I think that'd be the point of making Ai like this. This character has the potential to make people happy as she becomes happy in the story herself. So I want that to happen!

I make a lot of comparisons with Japanese gods because this is a Japanese piece and I feel it's what the author would've actually used as reference! (didn't read kaguya-san but I heard that one has some jp folklore refs too!) But I'll look into the story you mentioned as well! I don't think I'm familiar with it yet but it seems interesting! There are a lot of stories about unrequited love, isn't it? ;v;) but I hope this one gets a happy ending.

speaking of which, Hikaru's name is Hikaru Kamiki right?

I probably said this but he may be collecting light(Hikaru/hikari) (from the star eyes??) to become a god(kami) like Ai who's returned to being a star. (Ai hoshino=love of a star) I feel star=god in this universe from the stuff they're keep implying.. so it's about trying to reach someone who's far away. You know, this is actually what Mephisto's lyrics imply as well.

If life returns to you, if it reaches you, ah I don't care what happens to me Ah, but not every wish will be fulfilled And if that’s not realized, I shall become you The stars shatter and shine < this.

I'll be, if this isn't the case. I'm so convinced at this point.

I don't really want to add on to your personal experiences and discuss about them, I feel it'd be rash of me to make some sort of comment on it. I'd like to tell you I've read it :) and the fact that you can open your feelings up to someone, I feel that's a good sign. That needs to happen in order to heal, I believe. I hope good things happen to you and you find a lot of things that give you joy, and I really hope this series will live up to it too! I want it to have a satisfying ending ;v; come on.. I bought the physical books too~... I'm glad I have something to be passionate about to say the least-(I'm glad you can tell!) it's a loved series, so I wish it gets a great closure for both the fans and the ones who are responsible for creating it.

We'll see how it wraps up! I hope it will be an ending I will love~ and that hikaai will sail bc;; I really can't see it not being any other way for it to get a meaningful closure. For now, goodnight~

[goodluckclove]

In researching for a scene I was trying to delve into particular Canadian slang and idioms. The dangerous thing about research on Google for me is not the Googling itself, but the tangentially related People Also Ask questions - because those get so wild so quickly.

Take, for example, 85 Ways to Say Thank You, a listicle from Shari's Berries that totally has a reason to exist until you think about it for more than twenty seconds. I immediately skimmed the list, which I am almost certain was written by a sad English major who imagined a better use for their degree (We've all been there, man), and I just wanted to pick out some of the gems and how they made me feel.

I just wanted to write to say thanks a bunch for the gift!

So a lot of these seem to be ideas for things to write in thank you cards, either in response to getting a gift, or perhaps when giving a loved one some chocolate covered berries from a company that someone reviewed with just the word "don't". My problem is this: I get people might not know what to put in a thank you card. Not everyone is a writer. That's why humanity has managed to last for as long as it has.

But on the other hand, I have to imagine giving a thank you card with a message that says this is a thank you card i wrote in to thank you for the thing you gave me would be most people's first thought. It's less "sweet sentiment" and more "surface-level observation". I am worried for the person that reads this and has something suddenly click for them.

The coffee mug you sent is so me. Thank you for making my mornings brighter.

A few mentioned specific gifts in their examples, which is fine. But they didn't mention how you can alter the message to mention the gift you were given. So I am a little worried someone is going to give a thank you card in response to a new car or cat or child that just says "i love this coffee mug i cannot wait to sip the fluids within it". I can see that causing problems.

I know you spent a lot of time picking out the perfect gift for me and I feel blessed to have such a thoughtful friend in my life.

This right here is presumptuous at best and passive-aggressive at worst.

There were other categories for Thankful Occasions (Or Thank-asions as I call them), like when someone does a kind deed for you. Some shining quotes to use in this case rely heavily on implying that you are so grateful that it's pushed you into some sort of psychosis.

My stomach (and I) want to thank you for that delicious meal.

I have a childhood friend that I've legitimately known since the second grade who's coming up to visit me and my wife next month. If I made him dinner and he unironically said that his stomach wants to thank me for the meal, I would never speak to him again. Case closed.

You made me feel so at home that I forgot I wasn’t! Thank you for having me.

This feels like something I would say to a friend if I visited them while in a social anxiety spiral. Just like "hey i'm so glad you invited me over. side note that whole night i had no fucking idea where i was and even now i'm not that much more confident".

Or what if you want to thank a friend, just for continuing being their friend even though you keep sending them shit, overpriced fruit that usually shows up moldy?

Thank you for helping me through that difficult time. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I have two for you.

What does this mean? Are you a robot trying to one-up someone else's kind thought? Dave offered you a shoulder to cry on? Cry on both my shoulders. Cry in my mouth. Dave is soft and weak. His bones aren't bird-hollow but they might as well be. Here's some mold it was sixty dollars.

The ones that are the most baffling to me have to be the ways to thank a boss or colleague at work.

Thank you for your email, it was really appreciated.

"Dave you send great hentai but I'd love it if you stopped sending it through our work emails and work computers."

Thank you for sharing your opinion. I value your honesty and will respond as quickly as possible.

I have worked a LOT of jobs, and there isn't a single job I've had where I would be able to receive this message and not immediately view it as a threat.

Thanks for your attention on the matter.

This is so unfathomably vague I cannot imagine it not being in reference to a crime. Or like a message someone in a cartel or mob sends alongside a batch of Chocolate Covered BOO Berries that were custom ordered to be all ghosts just so the eminent crime scene has a touch of panache.

Anyways I got totally sidetracked but the next time I need to either communicate gratitude for a prior felony or provide warning for an upcoming one, I have tons of ideas to work with. Thanks Shari.

[gayhoediaz]

Headcanon question: Once he and Buck get together, what are some things Eddie's going to be surprised to learn about his sexuality? Not the sex with men part, but the rest of it? What is he shocked to find that he really, really likes? (And is then shocked again because he's not ashamed of his desires at all.)

(Agree Buck is not kinky, bless his heart. He might be one day, but he's got a whole lot to learn about himself first.)

oh i am in love w this question!!!

of the more vanilla side of things i will always be a cock!slut eddie warrior, i think he just loves sucking cock. i would argue even more so now in his 30s newly out than he would have if things had been different and he had bee sucking dick since his 20s. i think there’s just something about finally being able to be allowed to play around with a cock like that and get messy and sloppy and completely let go (bonus points if buck is simultaneously eating his ass, which i think is another thing he really, really loves that may take him by surprise.

i also think just generally the fact that he is “allowed” (i’m putting allowed in quotes bc i’m not abt to throw shannon or anyone else under the buss i just assume he never asked them in the first place) to take on a more submissive role, have buck take his time with him, kiss all over his body, whisper sweet nothings into his ear, call him beautiful. that shit might take him to a higher plane ngl

as far as slightly kinkier things go (i could get into my bdsm thoughts which i have but this answer is getting a little long) i think he also loves just being absolutely railed - and by railed, i mean bruised, and called names and destroyed. i don’t think that man as ever fucked Nasty™ in his entire life and it’s so sad to me. i absolutely think this would all escalate to handcuffs, ropes. toys, blindfolds, and even more drawn out things like free use weekends when they have an empty house. i just think eddie, who has had no choice but to be in control his entire life is just doing to thrive in a situation where he can completely let go and trust that he is in the absolute safest hands in the world.

(although i think it’s gonna take him a while to get there because while he’s not a man of few words, he certainly struggles to voices his own desires. i wrote a fic abt this if anyone missed it!)

sleepover weekend 💤🍿

[wannaeatramyeon]

hihi!! i thought this was funny and wanted to tell you😭

i was telling my friend about Goo and how i would absolutely marry him and they said that he needs their blessing. i asked what he can do to get their blessing and they said he needed to write them an essay about how much he loves me so, to entertain them, i wrote them an essay from Goo's perspective about why he wants to marry me with a 20 minute timer. it was 584 words in the end and I worked a miracle.

Moral of the story: Goo got the blessing😭so uhhh you can always write your way into someones life??

This tickled me, just imagining the unhinged ramblings from Goo POV mixed with your own. Drop it please.

Inbox clearing time! Non fic requests answered: 6. (Check it - plus my fave Lookism arcs!)

To the non-anon anon that I have not included and I don't know what to do with your message - No, I won't hold your hand while you poop. Good luck with that.

Really?? I feel so... unhinged and nonsensical (even more so than usual) when I rant. Seriously thank you for reading!?!!?

PTJ did somewhat write women with more of a personality in his Life As A Loser Series so it seems more of a shame that he's lost his touch and catering much more towards teenage boys with his current series.

Which. Fine. Action manhwa - great. BUT if your target audience are teenage boys then yknow, wouldn't it be even BETTER to write some strong badass women so these impressionable youngsters realise that not all girls need saving, and oh look. Girls are human too. With their own ambitions and flaws and imperfections, just like everyone else.

If you must make them simp, form a harem. Also. FINE. At least give them something beyond that.

Hey Black Anon! Sorry again for how long it took me to respond to your ask before, and hope it's going much better for yourself since your last request.

I'm muuuuch more responsive with DMs so if you ever wanna come out of anon - come shout at me in my DMs!!

HTF s2 is really... something. Completely lost the meaning of HTF and Viral Hit. Don't blame you for dropping it. Alas, the Taehoon grip on me is still going STRONG.

LOL. Me in a similar position, wondering if I should get into JJK.

Can I... recommend some of my fave arcs if you ever do decide to read Lookism? The ones I like are generally more story driven.

Vasco's backstory (prepare the tissues) - 52 - 57

Johan + Zack + Mira backstory (cult warning, another sad arc) - 132 - 138

Goddog (another pretty sad arc with Johan) - 199 - 213

Jacedichi Files (silly crime solving with Burn Knuckles) - 215 - 218

One Night (Johan + Jace!! Fun action) - 258 - 262

Jake Kim (PLEASE READ THIS IF NOTHING ELSE) - 302 - 318

Workers (2A) (Rescuing Sinu. Honestly, I cry almost every time. Read Jake Kim's arc to appreciate this!) - 372 - 392

Let me know if you ever get into it!!!

Me??? Mine????? I cannot write that guy so thank you - that means A LOT to me! I will try harder to write a decent Eli (that doesn't devolve into ranting about his current direction).

Thank you for reading and being so friggin CUTE!! 💖

I feel a vaguely threatening tone from this.

Like something Goo would recite before walking into a darkened warehouse with a crowbar 🤔

Baby there's nothing noble about this, but it is actually more satisfying than my normal job lol (lolling through tears).

Thank you so much for reading!! My single braincell has been firing quite well with these ideas.

Anon. Honestly this is adorable, I've screenshat this for a pick me up ahhhhhhh 🥹

My dear 🕊️ anon, thank you for reading my DG fic! I also feel very little for DG but I will admit I am coming around to him.

YES!!! I LOVE the idea of someone getting close to James Lee in his younger years, and him being soft for the reader.

And then I also like angst so let's bring those 2 things together. Heh.

Eeeee I also added that Remember fic to my list of faves that I have written.

Please. I also have a list of fictional men I am unwell over. Let's start a support group! 🫠

[crawlincreepz]

It's so refreshing to see creepypasta stuff again after, like, 12 years lol. It's nostalgic.

I've recently been super into Lost Silver again, got so into it that I wrote a whole character sheet for my version of gold, and found your Headcanons while looking through some stuff! I love them very much. I didn't think many other people had the HC that he's definitely ANGRY alongside sad. It's super believable to me. I love all of your HCs for him. They're super good.

Would you feel like blessing us with some more sometime?? I haven't seen HCs that aren't x reader, and yours are just great. I'd love to hear more about the boy!!

anon you have no idea how much this made my day!1 i’m so glad ppl agree with the whole angry gold HC, he 100% has anger issues.

now, here are some more Lost Silver headcannons.

We’ve already gone over how angry Gold feels with himself and how stupid he feels for treating life so selfishly. Poor guy really needs therapy. (Is there such a thing as ghost therapy..?)

Gold has an unusual obsession with rainy weather. He’s a glitch! You’d expect him to hate water, but no! The sounds are therapeutic to him, also the pokémon like it as well. It’s one of the only times he allows his mind to rest.

He’s not threatening toward people. Gold has no intentions of hurting others, as he believes his demise was his fault and his fault alone. Why should others pay for his foolishness? Don’t get me wrong, Lost Silver is a powerful entity, but just because the boy died doesn’t mean he’s lost all of his morals. ..Maybe he’s lost a few, but come on. I’m trying to say Gold doesn’t kill like his other creepypasta “friends”. He’s capable of doing so, but doesn’t see the point in it.

His voice is more gravely and echo-y side. Not deep, but definitely not normal. It almost sounds like he’s talking in a big empty room on the rare occasion Gold actually talks. It’s a bit uncomfortable to listen to at first, with how unsettling it sounds, but you’ll get used to it.

Well, since we’re on the topic! On the rare events Gold would talk, it would be in one-to-two-word responses usually. I would say it’s not because he doesn’t want to talk to you but come on, we all know he absolutely despises talking to people he doesn’t know. Often he will scare others with how quiet he is. Gold could have been in the room for hours before you found out he was even there! Really, it’s terrifying. Even if you ask him: “How long have you been there?!”, he would give some unhelpful ass answer. “Long enough.” Like, what the fuck does that mean, man?!

It’s kinda funny, though.

On a sad note, Gold often “lets” his emotions get the best of him. There are times late at night when you can’t stop the angry torment in your mind. He can’t help but wail endlessly into the void until his throat gives out, unable to do anything else but scream out every bit of emotion left in his body. They always sound angry, his cries of regret and intense pain for the fate he thought he could escape. After all these years, he’s never going to accept that death indeed caught up to him. No matter how hard the boy tried, he could never escape the inevitable. Now he must pay the price.

After his death, Gold never really focused on wanting a partner. He’s aware he’s too emotionally unavailable for one. It wouldn’t be a healthy relationship with Gold, and he knows that. Maybe one day, if he ever gets his shit together, that is. But we all know it will be quite a while before that. Plus, he can barely make friends with his attitude! How in the world would he get a partner?

Game nights between Gold and Glitchy Red are incredibly chaotic. Seriously, never be in the same room as them on a game night. You’ll hear insults you never knew EXISTED, and god forbid they pull out Mario Kart or Smash Bros. One of the only times Gold has zero problems talking... *Shivers.*

Gold totally always wins in Smash bros, BTW. Red hates it.

[wordrummager]

More taggery and maybe nonsense I was tagged by @purplemonkeysexgod69 to answer some random questions. I just did this but I like his “off-script” approach. Also, I mostly do what the Monkey says - except for quitting haiku. (Amid a horrid week, I think I could use a look at good things in my life, a la Bing Crosby in “White Christmas,” counting blessings and such.) . I will 52 next month. I am married and our children are 21 and 19. Monkey, it only gets harder. But also more wonderful. I only have my ears pierced, and no tattoos as hubby hates them (but I have picked one and my daughter and I may get them when she’s 21). Lately, I have been on a jigsaw puzzle kick. I haven’t done them in years. I love to read and watch movies in my downtime but I have found a sort of peace in focusing on nothing but the pieces and a larger picture- something I can’t seem to do well otherwise with my busy mind. At the moment, I am on my 7th 1000-piece puzzle since Christmas. It may not be kosher anymore, but I grew up loving any circus and freak show I could find. Some were sad, some were sparkly. Lots were surprising, few were dull. (Time for a confession I’ve never shared, ever: I fell in love with a clown at a circus as a pre-teen. I can’t explain it, I just know there was something in those sad eyes. As he sat by me in the audience (several clowns were roaming the audience as part of a gag), he and I just… stared at each other for a really long time. No words. But I could read his story somehow and I felt like he knew me. It was so odd and I know it sounds ridiculous. He gave me a feather and walked away, looking back a few times.) I began writing around the age of seven in a house full of music, books, and curiosity. My wings were clipped around age 14 and I didn’t write again until about 40. I wanted to write short stories like my favorites, Ray Bradbury and Kurt Vonnegut. But I suck at storytelling. As soon as I wrote a few poems, I felt at home somehow, and was encouraged by a friend to start blogging. So here I am about a dozen years later. I like sunset more than sunrise, night more than day. I don’t like beginnings as much as the peace of endings, when all is done. I’m pretty sure I’m still talking about sunsets but I’m a poet, so I’m never sure of my own meaning. I have a lot of memories tied up in my enjoyment of bread. Real croissants in Paris were ok, homemade rye from my grandmother, my daughter’s proud successful attempts at banana bread, and today I am remembering a small shop in Interlaken, Switzerland that had the best baguettes- crisp outside and soft inside, with some fresh cheese… heaven. I was born in the same Pennsylvania town as Mr. Rogers, though I don’t remember it much. He was the guest speaker at my dad’s college graduation, and I was present though I was only a toddler so I don’t remember that either. I wonder if anyone else would like to overshare as I just did…

[hikarry]

For the ask game, to distract you from your french: 19, 36, 37

Bless your heart, honest to God!

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I started writing stories properly when I was about 12. It was also when I started reading. My best friend and I were addicted to this anime and we used to roleplay on MSN (remember that? Boy, I'm old) and we kinda just...ended up writing a collection of 6 books with vampires and whatnot - we were also watching The Vampire Diaries at the time, who's surprised

I still have the word files of all 6 "books". They are not...polished. Far from it. I told her I would do it and...well, it has been 12 years so they are never seeing the light of day ever. They were really bad.

Since then we started writing together some vampire fiction until I started breanching out on my own and at 14 I started writing a shit tone of Once Upon a Time fanfiction. It was the most I ever wrote for any fandom. I wrote for OUAT for around 3 years. And no, I will never tell yall where those fanfics are, but they are still out there.

I had a period somewhere where I also tried to write some originals and Ladybug fanfics but eh. Never went far.

Then I kinda stopped writing because I was extremely depressed from 17 to 2021. In 2021 I watched Yuri on Ice and got extremely inspired and wrote some one-shots and fics I never finished and are on ao3 to die, honestly. Then from the beginning of 2023 to November 2023 I had a massive writer's block and didn't write shit until I started writing Good Omens little imagines here on Tumblr and eventually wrote a one-shot for ao3 and I'm currently posting a 27 long fanfic there too. And I'm also already working on another project.

Good Omens really inspires me a lot, not only because the characters and the universe is THAT good, but because I love studying religion (even though I'm an atheist/agnostic myself) and history and this fandom gives me the chance to play with both! It's perfect! I plan to keep writing for this fandom for a long time. Probably after season 3 too. And after it slowly dies down, which is sad but inevitable

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know?

Depression. Anxiety. Panic.

I love exploring those in my fics and...well, we have Crowley, don't we?

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

God, am I gay and mediocre. That's what's going to be in the History books

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