#it's been like. 4? 5? hours and i'm still in absolute disbelief

[spittingspite]

Y'all don't understand I didn't think they'd do it

I didn't see the leak. I'm assuming it was about the kiss but I didn't see it I just knew it existed and did my best to avoid it. I went into season 2 blind, fully expecting Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship to be similar to season one: small romantic moments, a few puppydog eyes from Aziraphale, soft little glances, something undeniably there but never stated or named. I was ready for a season where they loved each other but loved each other in their own way, a way easily read as romantic but a way that many, many people would also easily read as not romantic at all. I was ready for the extent of what we got to be something similar to season one and Neil and the casts' word that they love each other

I didn't think we'd get a kiss. I didn't think we'd get a confession. I was ready to not get those things, I was okay with not getting those things. My main worry was people getting their hopes up about a kiss and then being disappointed, or even angry, when it didn't happen. I was like "it would be nice, but I doubt Neil and the rest of the team will want to take that route, which is fine it's their story after all". I cannot stress enough that I did not think they'd do it

And then they did it

(While ripping my heart out but they did it nonetheless)

[hopelesslyromanticgay]

An Americano Please PT. 7

Word Count : about 2K

TW: Percy🤮, mental health, and descriptions of malnourishment (not ED related) and smoking(not done by anyone in first person)

Jenna's POV (finally)

Oh my god she kissed me. She actually kissed me!

I can't believe I've known her for two weeks and I'm already down this bad. 

The walk home from Y/N's apartment isn't a bad one, just a few blocks away, so when I get to my complex, Percy, my other costar is waiting for me in the lobby.

"So, how was your walk with that girl?" he asks, implying so much with his tone.

"Really nice," I smile, unable to hide my excitement.

"Cool, cool. Emma tells me you all went for pizza together?"

"Yeah, we would have invited you but you were filming."

"Maybe you can take me there some other time. Anyhow, tell me about the walk?"

"Well if you really want all the details..." I start.

"I do," he interjects.

"She and I kissed," I confess, a blush rising in my cheeks.

"Congratulations," he says, his tone coming off a little forced. It's been pretty clear from the beginning that he has some form of feelings for me, but I've made it clear I'm not interested in anything more than friendship.

"Well..." I say awkwardly, "I'm gonna go up to my apartment, get those few hours of sleep."

God that was so awkward.

...

My wake-up alarm blares, causing me to jolt awake. 4:30 already?

I rub the sleep from my eyes, slowly making my way out of bed and into the shower.

My driver comes to pick me up at 5:15, there's no time to visit Y/N for coffee today.

I'm in the makeup trailer by 5:30, getting my hair done as soon as I arrive.

"Morning Jenna," Joy smiles from across the trailer.

"Hello," I wave.

"Percy tells me you had a lot of fun last night," Georgie winks from a few chairs over, his gorgon headdress being carefully placed on his head.

"He told you that?" my jaw drops in disbelief. Georgie nods. Wow Percy, That's really none of your business to share.

And look who it is, Percy Hynes White walks into the trailer.

"What the fuck Percy!" I exclaim, "you told them I kissed Y/N?"

"Jenna, I need you to sit still so we can get your eyeliner right," the makeup artist tells me.

"Okay, give me one second."

"Yeah, I told him, so?" he rolls his eyes

"Percy, it's my right to say who I kiss. Not yours."

"Well last I checked I had the right to freedom of speech," he retorts.

"Look, I don't want to start a fight, Percy," I say, trying to be calm, "but you can't do that again."

"Okay, fine," he sighs exasperatedly, "I won't go around telling people about your stupid barista girlfriend." He dramatically exits, slamming the door behind him. What a diva.

"To be clear, guys, she's not my girlfriend," I clarify.

"Not yet anyway," Georgie winks.

"Don't get my hopes up."

Every day of the week my schedule piles up more and more.

I have cello in between shoots, fencing after work, and archery with Percy every few days. 

It's Saturday already and I haven't seen Y/N once! I hope she doesn't think I'm ghosting her.

I just got onto set and immediately I'm rushed into the costume trailer to get into my fencing gear. It's such an action heavy day and I already feel so light headed. I want to tell the director that I can't do it. I know it will just absolutely destroy me, but before I can get a word out, I'm practically pulled onto set.

My breakfast of a small fruit salad churns in my stomach. I can't so much as focus for twenty seconds as the stunt choreographer starts to debrief us on the scene.

I look over at Joy, the person I'm fighting in this scene, she seems to be taking everything in perfectly.

My head starts to ache with dizziness.

"Jenna, are you okay?" the AD asks.

Say it's fine. Like you always do. Be easy to work with.

"I- I think I n-need to sit down," I stutter quietly. My legs practically give away the second a chair is brought over to me.

The on set nurse is quick to bring me a glass of water which I drink gratefully.

"Are you feeling nauseated, Jenna?" she asks me.

"No, just a little lightheaded," I force a smile.

"You look a tad pale, did you have breakfast this morning?" she inquires.

"Yeah, I had a fruit salad."

"Is that what you have every day?" she asks.

"More or less," I answer truthfully.

"That's not nearly enough protein and nutrients for someone with a schedule like yours. Do you ever have eggs?"

"No, I'm a vegan," I explain.

"Oh right, well in that case you need to find a way to get more protein and iron or else it's only going to get worse," she tells me.

"O-okay," I say. God Jenna, you've really messed up this time.

"You should go home and get some rest, I'll get the producers to move your cello class to tomorrow."

"No!" I exclaim, "I need to do this!"

"Jenna, I can't let you do this today. You need to rest and recover."

"No, I need to be on set!" What kind of lead in a show DOESN'T show up to set when she needs to be there. What kind of person does this make me?

"Jenna, you need to rest. How about a compromise, you can do your cello lesson, but you need to go back to your apartment and get rest."

"Fine," I sigh, disappointed in myself.

"Do you have anyone who can take you home?" she asks, "all of our drivers are on break right now."

"No," I say half heartedly. I could ask Y/N, but I don't want to burden her. I don't want to burden anyone.

"Okay, let's get you to your trailer and you can lie down there for now." I nod cautiously. Standing up is worse than usual. Immediately, I can feel myself getting dizzy.

We walk back to my trailer, I find myself lying down on the couch. My head spins with worry What if production is delayed because of me?

I hear a knock on my trailer door, "Hey Jenna, it's me, Emma.

"Come in," I say happily. I love being around Emma. She's such a positive person.

"Joy says you're not feeling too good."

"Yeah, I guess," I say.

"I'm sorry to hear that," she sits down next to me, "you wanna talk?"

"It's just a lot," I confess, "all of these classes, and shoots, and work in general. It's just so much. And now I have to change what I'm eating because apparently I'm not getting enough nutrients!" Tears start to fall down my face.

"Hey, I've got you," she soothes me, stroking my hair, "it's gonna be okay."

It's about then that I slowly fall asleep.

Y/N's POV:

God, I hope I didn't fuck up with Jenna. The last time I was Tuesday night when we kissed. I haven't even gotten a text since.

I'm scared, what if she doesn't like me anymore?

"What's got you so upset? " Nessa asks between drags on her cigarette. I cough on the smoke coming from it.

"I just wish I could talk to Jenna," I admit.

"Man, just chill, it's normal to go a few days without talking to someone."

"Yeah, but normally if the last interaction was a kiss, it means that relationship is over," I point out.

"Just chill out, okay, acting's like, a hard job."

"Fine," I say, getting up, "I'm gonna drive home. See ya tomorrow."

The walk from the coffee shop to my car is less than two minutes. I only drove to work today because I was coming from Nessa's apartment and didn't want to leave my car there.

As soon as I get into the driver's seat, my phone starts to buzz with a call from a number I haven't seen before. Curious, I decide to pick up.

"Hello, is this Y/N?" the voice behind the phone asks.

"Yes, who is this?"

"Hi! This is Emma from Tuesday night, Jenna's not feeling well today, and I was wondering if you could drive her home from set?"

"Shit, is she okay?" I inquire. Fuck, I hope everything is alright!

"She'll be fine," Emma assures me, "can you drive her?"

"Sure, is she okay with that?"

"In all honesty, she's asleep right now and I found your number on a piece of paper on her counter."

"Isn't that an invasion of privacy?"

"Shut up, I was doing what I thought was right."

"Okay, fine, I'll come pick her up, but I don't want her to be surprised to see me."

"Deal." I hang up the phone. This day just got a lot more interesting.

I pull up to set about thirty minutes later to see Jenna and Emma waiting for me. I can see immediately what Emma meant by Jenna not feeling well.

There were heavy bags under her eyes, but the rest of her skin was so much paler than usual. I could see her twitching a bit, and it seemed like she was struggling to stay alert. Seeing her like this immediately replaces any resentment I may have had for her for avoiding me with pure concern.

"Hey there," I roll down the window to talk to them.

"Thank you so much for coming," Jenna says, smiling weakly.

"Here, let me help you into the car," I say gently, getting out to open the passenger seat door for her.

"I'll let you two be on your merry way then," Emma says cheerfully, "Feel better, Jenna." Leaving me and Jenna alone in the car together.

The silence between us is anything but comfortable. The radio went to static from low signal, and neither of us know what to say.

After a painfully awkward twenty five minutes, we pull up next to her apartment. 

"Can you help me up?" she asks, clearly a little embarrassed. I smile, and offer her a hand which she gratefully takes.

"Thank you so much, I don't know how I can repay you."

"Consider it a random act of kindness." She laughs a little.

The two of us walk to the elevator quietly, not really knowing what we could possibly say.

"So what's got you feeling so sick?" I ask curiously.

"Not getting enough protein, I guess."

"Oh that makes sense. Film sets probably don't have the best vegan options."

"On that, we can agree," she laughs weakly. The door flies open, revealing Jenna's apartment floor. I've never been in her place before.

"I'm right down the hall," she directs me.

I nod, and start walking with her.

She quickly disappears into her room to put on some more comfortable clothes, coming out in sweatpants and a white t-shirt.

"Here, let's get you some food," I say, bringing her a pb&j sandwich, "I know its not a gourmet meal or anything, but peanut butter's really good for you."

"Thank you so much," she smiles, "I don't deserve you."

"Hey, don't say that," I say. 

"But I don'ttt," she whines, "I don't talk to you for days after kissing you and yet you come to take care of me as soon as you hear I'm not doing too good!" 

"Jenna, please just eat your sandwich," I laugh, "we can talk about it when you're doing better."

She nods, "okay."

A few minutes later, she's done with the sandwich, and I can tell she's getting tired.

"Hey, do you wanna try to get some rest?" I suggest. She nods quietly.

I help her up from the couch, and guide her to her room.

She goes to the bed to lie down, pulling the covers over herself to stay warm

I turn to leave, my plan is to go home, but it's quickly thwarted.

"Can you stay?" she pleads, "I don't want to be alone."

"Sure," I smile, sitting down on the opposite side of the bed. She slowly repositions herself to be cuddled up to my side, laying her head in my lap.

"Good night, Y/N/N," she says softly.

"Good night," I smile, kissing her forehead. 

I can see her vibrantly blushing in the dim light of her room. She's just so insanely cute.

I run my fingers through her hair, trying to soothe her. It doesn't take long before she fully falls asleep.

The two of us are gonna have a lot to talk about when she wakes up.

[crowleystits]

I'd Like for You and I to Go Romancing

Chapter 6: We're Not About to Start Calling it Carnal

[read chapters 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 on tumblr here]

Celestial beings they were, beings who had the privilege of watching the birth of the stars, of standing there as the universe exploded in a million colours, nebulas expanding endlessly in the most miraculous display of Creation. And yet, having borne witness to all of those wonders, the feeling of their corporations against each other, a show of superbly human emotion was the most glorious thing of all.

Far too soon, smoky and demonic lips parted from angelic ones, leaving a pair of inept and lovesick creatures breathless, clinging to each other's shoulders for balance. Eyes stayed shut for a moment, and Aziraphale tilted his head forward, allowing foreheads to touch, resting together.

"We should, uh-" Crowley broke the silence, his voice hoarse and quiet, as he finally straightened up, a clearing of the throat attempting to disguise how bashful he truly felt. "Get going, angel."

"Certainly we should. Perhaps we can still catch the 10h31 train, my dear." Aziraphale spoke, adjusting his impeccable velvet waistcoat after peeking at his pocket watch.

Crowley responded with a nod, eyes hidden cleverly behind dark shades, turning on his heels to start making his way towards the door. Aziraphale followed suit, allowing his wants to take precedent over his fears for once, reaching out to the demon's hand with his own, intertwining plush fingers with bony ones at once.

***

St. Pancras station was bustling as always, humans scurrying around, living their short lives with tenacity and rush. The imposing glass roof kept the elements away, while allowing the heavens to trickle in to the environment inside. As if by miracle, or perhaps by luck, the train arrived precisely when it should, and their seat was precisely in the middle of an almost empty car, and with a simple alert that echoed through the train, announcing their departure and travel time of two hours and twenty minutes, they were in motion, destination Paris.

"Oh Crowley, how very exciting." Aziraphale began, an enthused smile upon his lips.

"Excited for some crepes then?"

"Absolutely. But not just."

"The Champs-Élysées then? Now that I promised we'd actually pay this time." Crowley continued, amused, leaning one elbow on the window sill, staring out into the moving view. Aziraphale sat across from him, a small table in between, and he too had his eyes fixated on the world outside.

"Oh, the Champs-Élysées." The angel continued, a hint of nostalgia in his voice. "But in truth, I think I'm rather more excited to be doing all of this with you."

Crowley sputtered for a moment, struck unexpectedly, covering his mouth with a long hand as he kept focus on the window. "We've been to Paris before." The demon grumbled, his voice muffled by the flesh of his hand.

"Surely we have, but never like this."

"Like what?" The demon's interest was piqued, and he turned to look back at Aziraphale, adjusting in his seat so he could further lounge and spread his legs apart.

"Oh, Crowley, you must know. Free. Properly together."

"Is that what we are, then?" Crowley said, looking out of the window again, avoiding eye contact with the angel, lest his befuddlement over the topic at hand be exposed. "An us?"

"I rather think we've always been an us." Aziraphale confessed, fidgeting with the edge of his vest, eyeing the demon on occasion. "Just more... carnal now, I suppose."

"Car- Carnal?!" Crowley responded, almost insulted, eyebrows raised and mouth agape. "Please don't call it that." He continued, feigning a certain level of disdain. "Don't ever call it that, for somebody's sake, Aziraphale." He let out, after a typical rave of unintelligible complaints.

"What else would you call it, then?" Aziraphale responded, pouty and petulant as always.

"I don't know. But I do know we're not about to start calling it carnal." The demon retorted, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Very well," Aziraphale began, adjusting his posture in his seat. "Romantic, then. Is that preferable?" He continued, nibbling at the inside of his cheeks to avoid smiling, basking in the distress he was causing his demon.

"Fine." Crowley spoke in a sigh, both hands over the small table now, fingers spread apart. "Anything is better than carnal. Seriously, angel. Carnal." He spoke, shaking his head once more.

***

Aziraphale's pocket watch accused exactly 13h52 when the train came to a halt at the Gare du Nord, a beautiful blue sky greeting them from above. So, as they did many times before, they made their way to a restaurant, enjoying the french capital with all it had to offer, from delicious crepes to stunning crimson wine.

"You know," Crowley began, twirling his wine inside a glass cup. "We don't have to go back. Today, I mean."

"Oh," Aziraphale responded, still some crepes inside his mouth. "You mean you'd fancy staying?"

"Yeah, why not. We don't have anyone to report to anymore, do we." Aziraphale nodded as he took another bite of the scrumptious meal they had gotten for themselves.

"I would not be opposed to staying here. With you."

Crowley clapped his hands, reaching over to the bottle of wine, pouring his paramour and himself another generous helping of Domaine Faiveley red wine. "Sorted, then." The demon announced, taking a sip of his drink. "We deserve the most luxurious hotel. A proper escapade."

And with that, the pair continued sharing a superb meal, enjoying the cool air and the casual conversation, before making sure to see the sights the city of Love was rather known for. They had seen them all before, but one can see a sunset an infinite amount of times without ever finding it lacklustre, especially if the sight was shared by the one person one always found themselves seeking out in the middle of all the chaos this life has to offer.

[read more chapters here]

[aerial-jace]

Gimme that 1-5 big boy

(Ask game)

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

When I write on Google Drive my go-to choice is Alegreya. I actually found this from when we were sharing Firetiger AU content over at the first iteration of the Objectively Correct group chat. I like it quite a lot for the UI of Google Drive, but I don't use it much these days because it's actually quite distracting to write on a browser window.

I use Focus Writer much more unless I'm sharing my writing. The default font there is what I use, it's... Times New Roman! TBH I didn't even know it was that one. Which honestly is a testament to how good of a distraction free UI it is that I can just live in complete ignorance about that.

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

Quite the labor but yes! I actually love handwriting stuff because it's a nice sensory feeling in my fingers. It does get tiring and I have to stretch and exercise my fingers quite a lot in between. I have perhaps not the best handwriting habits, most prominently the amount of force I apply with my pens to the page. So that's probably something for me to work through.

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

15 minutes before the start of a session, prepare a cup of coffee and select a good ambient noise or instrumental music playlist/8+ hour long sleep aid YouTube video. Sit down to write about 5 minutes before the scheduled start time and try a breathing exercise. When it's the scheduled time, open the writing software and agonize about the first sentence of the session until you get into a rhythm.

As you probably know, recently I've been trying to get more consistent with my Kemetic pagan practice and I've been considering the idea of incorporating devotional prayer or offerings into this routine. My coffee cup routine is not hard to adapt into a legit offering ritual to a deity like Thoth/Djehuty considering part of the point of offerings in Kemeticism is the reversion at the conclusion of the ritual.

But alas, even if my theology does not conceptualize the Netjeru to be actual, literal, individual supernatural entities it still feels kind of weird asking for stuff so soon ya know? A thing pagan spaces constantly drill into you is that reciprocity with deity has to be built up over time. And as such when I get into the ritual headspace and suspend my disbelief it feels wrong to ask for much when I'm so new to venerating deities rather than just the akhu of my grandparents and great grandmother.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

Ripple! As in the verb. I love describing the reactions of big crowds with that word. Very evocative, whether it's a feeling of surprise or a round of gossip and whispering. It's a very fun part of writing Warriors fic how little work I've got to do to contrive situations where I can write reactions like this. A big revelation is never out of place at a gathering or a clan meeting.

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

No matter what, start a writing session at the hour, otherwise you risk failure. If you're interrupted right as you were about to start it's acceptable to move it up 15 minutes. If it's a spontaneous session these rules don't apply but if scheduled you gotta stick to them. I'm sure if I was not able to look at a clock none of these would apply but alas I'm burdened by the annoyances of the modern world.