#it's been happening a lot this week and recently so like... pray for me

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

trying to figure out if the uptick in horrifying intrusive thoughts is due to letting my mind wander and having weird seeds planted in my brain in general because of it, because I'm tired (it always seems to happen on Sundays... which is my least-sleep day every week), spiritual warfare, PMS, or some combination like

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Covid update, the vice grip pressure headache is gone, I was able to get out of bed without issues today, I actually slept through the night, AND don't feel feverish anymore 😤

[worldlxvlys]

running

part seven of the CRUSH series

bsf! matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: angst, cursing, mentions of sex

a/n -> read the previous part for context !!

ever since the day he apologized, matt had been acting weird. there was a very obvious tension between us, but neither of us said anything about it. his brothers on the other hand, were quick to point it out.

“ok, what’s up with you two? did you fuck again, or something?” chris asked, earning a quick hit and an incredulous look from nick. matt just rolled his eyes, answering with a brief “no”, before turning in the direction he came from.

he was distant and quicker to anger than he usually was. it seemed like the smallest things set him off, he was just so mad. his recent attitude has made me quite distant myself because being around him wasn’t very enjoyable.

he had his moments where he seemed like his usual self, but for the most part, he was miserable. of course i was aware that this was partially my fault, as right after our conversation about the night we slept together his entire demeanor changed.

i felt terrible, and i wanted nothing more than to help him feel better. but i tried to figure out what was wrong, and he just pushed me away. i wanted to be there for him, but he was a grown man at the end of the day. if i did or said something to upset him, he needed to communicate what that was.

so for the past week, we didn’t hang out unless it was with his brothers. we barely spoke two words to each other, and he couldn’t even look at me on the rare occasion that we did. i tried not to let it get to me, but he was supposed to be my best friend. now he couldn’t even be around me ?

MATT’S POV

just when i think i can’t possibly make things worse than they already are, i prove myself wrong. i somehow managed to completely drive y/n away, and now i couldn’t even look at her.

every time i saw her, i felt the shame and guilt eat away at me. i’ve treated her terribly for the past week, and now she couldn’t stand being around me.

at first i just wanted a little bit of distance, because i knew that the second i felt her soft fingers on my face or watched her plump lips pull into a smile, i would be gone. she’s constantly running through my thoughts, and i have no way of stopping it.

every day chris made these sly comments about how i should make a move on her before someone else did, and that pissed me off. his words constantly rang through my ears, and it made me paranoid.

every time she smiled at her phone and typed away at her screen, which was happening a lot more often recently, i got more and more annoyed. i did my best to push it down and ignore it, but it always seemed to make things worse.

whether she was talking to someone or not, she was growing more and more distant by the day. i found myself missing her when she was in the same room as me, which made me realize just how bad i let the situation get.

i decided to go over to her house to talk to her, knowing i had to clear the air. and that’s how i ended up here, standing at her doorstep anxiously, trying to gain the confidence to knock.

before i could force myself to do it, her door swung open. i must’ve looked like a deer in headlights, my eyes widened as she caught me off guard. she let out a chuckle at that, “i saw you on the doorbell camera, i thought i’d just make this easier for you”

well that’s embarrassing. “you saw that whole thing?” i asked, hoping it wasn’t true. when she nodded her head in response, i closed my eyes shaking my head slightly as i cursed myself. “it’s ok, matt. it was cute” she spoke, a small smile on her face.

i felt my face heat up while i prayed she didn’t notice the deep shade of red that my face turned at the comment. “come on” she motioned to the inside of her house, choosing not to comment on my flustered state.

READER’S POV

when i moved to the side to let matt in, i caught sight of a small paper bag in his hand while he passed me. he led the way to my room, pushing my door open and making himself comfortable on my bed.

“i was thinking we do a movie night?” he asked hopefully, emptying the bag of its contents; an array of different candies, snacks, and a drink for each of us.

whenever matt and i had a disagreement, our way of calling a truce was to have a movie night. we would take the time to talk it out and end off the night with cuddles and a movie.

“sounds perfect” i told him, grabbing the remote and moving to sit across from him. i passed him the remote when i felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. i pulled it out, opening it to see a text from the guy i’ve been talking to for the past week.

dylan 🤠

hey beautiful ;)

what are you up to ??

y/n ⭐️

abt to watch a movie with matt !!

“what movie should we watch?” matt asked, but i was barely able to register his words as i read the next text.

dylan 🤠

matt is your best friend right ?? i thought he wasn’t talking to you ??

y/n ⭐️

yeah movie nights are kinda like our way of calling a truce yk ??

dylan 🤠

ohhh i get u

y/n ⭐️

wbu ??

dylan 🤠

oh yk just texting this girl rn

a lil nervous tho ngl, she’s drop dead gorgeous

wayyyy out of my league

“hellooo? you gonna sit there and text all night or are we ever gonna talk?” matt’s annoyed voice pulled my attention away from my phone.

“hold on, i’m talking to someone right now. just give me a sec” i spoke, looking back down to my phone.

y/n ⭐️

who could you possibly be talking about 🤨

dylan 🤠

your mom :)

y/n ⭐️

that wasn’t funny

dylan 🤠

i laughed

y/n ⭐️

well that makes one of us

i watched as the three dots moved on the screen, before my phone was roughly pulled out of my hand. “what the fuck, matt ? give it back” i yelled as he moved it out of my reach.

i quickly moved over to him, climbing over his body to reach for the phone. he was quick to throw my phone onto my carpeted floor, grabbing my wrists before i could move to get it.

“who was that?” he asked, looking up at me. “none of your damn business” i answered. “considering you’re too busy looking down at your phone to talk to me, i’d say it is”

i let out a dry chuckle at that, “now you wanna talk ? that’s new. usually you just bottle up your feelings and throw a hissy fit instead of telling me what the issue is” i spoke, glaring down at him. my phone vibrated on its spot in the floor, but i ignored it.

“why are you trying to pick a fight?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed. “i’m not, this is what it looks like when you act like an adult and talk about things. i know that might be a little foreign to you” i jeered, his face dropping at the comment.

when i heard my phone vibrate again, i went to go pick it up, but was stopped as matt’s hands gripped onto my waist firmly, pulling me down onto his lap.

“look, i obviously hurt you and i’m really sorry for that-” he started, stopping as my phone continued to vibrate on the floor. “who the hell is blowing up your phone like that?” he started, starting to become annoyed again.

“it’s no one” i answered.

“who is it?” he posed his words as a question, but it sounded more like an order.

“nobody”

“why are you lying?” he asked, receiving a sigh from me. he just wasn’t gonna let it go.

“it’s just this guy i’m talking to” i answered. before i could even process what was happening, matt had flipped us over so that he was the one one top.

“what’s his name?” matt asked, his hands tightly clenching the sheets on either side of my head. my eyes trailed down to his tatted arm, watching as it flexed when he shifted his weight onto it.

“his name doesn’t matter” i answered, willing myself to look anywhere but at his lips. it was tempting, the short distance between us making it hard to focus on anything else.

“is there anything you can tell me about him?” matt asked.

“yeah. he’s not confused.” i answered without thinking, the words slipping out before i could stop them. “he’s made his feelings for me clear” i finished.

“his feelings? he’s only known you for…what, a week?” he asked, tilting his head at me. “he knows what he wants matt” i shrugged, “do you?” i asked.

the question seemed to catch him off guard, as he didn’t utter a word. instead, his eyes dropped down to my lips for a split second, jumping back to my own eyes quickly.

“don’t do that” i stopped him, “don’t look at me like you want to kiss me. we both know you don’t” i told him, turning my head away from him.

he was quick to place his hand on my cheek, moving my face so i was looking at him while he spoke. “why would you think that?” he asked, his eyes softening.

“why would you keep running away from me if you did?” i asked, trying my best not to show how hurt i actually was. i blinked back the tears i felt beginning to form, taking a deep breath.

matt picked up on my shift in mood, immediately moving to sit next to me. “fuck, i’m sorry. i’m sorry” he whispered repeatedly, pulling me into a hug. “it’s not on purpose, i swear. and it’s definitely not your fault, the last thing i ever wanted was to hurt you” i cried silently in his arms, his hands squeezing my waist tightly.

he pulled away to look at me, wiping away my tears with his thumbs. “is there something wrong with me?” i asked, needing an answer to the question i’d been asking myself constantly throughout the week. why? why was he avoiding me like the plague? what did i do to deserve this?

“of course not. this is my fault, it’s not you. i’m just confused and i have no clue what to do. i don’t know what i want, and i didn’t know how to deal with-” he stopped abruptly, like he was about to slip up and say something he didn’t want me to hear.

“i just didn’t want to hurt you while i was figuring out my shit, so i distanced myself from you. i know it was wrong, but i didn’t know what to do. and then i realized you were talking to someone and it just made me so mad, but i shouldn’t have taken it out on you”

“you’re jealous? matt, it’s not like he’s replacing you. he’s just a new friend” i pointed out. “i’m right here, i’m still your best friend. and you can always talk to me about anything. you know that, right?” i asked.

“yeah, i know. but are you sure you’re just friends? you said he has feelings for you” matt spoke, looking down as he spoke the last sentence. “is he the only one?” i asked bluntly, tired of beating around the bush.

matt’s head snapped up at the call-out, his lips turning upwards into a small smile. “i-” he was cut off by his phone ringing in his pocket. he looked like he wanted to continue, but i stopped him, “just answer it, it’s ok” i nodded to him, watching him pull it out.

“it’s chris” he sighed out, before hitting the answer button. while he spoke to chris, i heard my own phone vibrate on the ground. i glanced over to matt, who was fully engrossed in his conversation, before grabbing it off of the floor.

i opened it to several unopened texts from dylan, but the last one is what stood out to me;

dylan 🤠

hey, you home? i’m at your door ;)

what the fuck? he knew i was home, i told him that matt and i were having a movie night.

i glanced over to matt, as he hung up the phone. “he was just asking if i wanted anything from target” he informed me, putting his phone down.

he noticed my widened eyes, his face filling with concern, “what’s wrong?” he asked, walking towards me and placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.

“um, my….uh-” i was cut off by the sound of the doorbell ringing. “here, i’ll get it for you” he spoke, walking out of the room before i could stop him.

“wait, matt-” i started, a few feet behind him. by the time i caught up to him, the door was already open, matt and dylan were face-to-face with each other.

“hey, i’m dylan. you must be matt” he almost seemed amused at matt’s confused face.

“hey, baby” he spoke to me, earning a cold stare from matt as he realized who the man in front of him was. his jaw was clenched tightly as he turned his gaze to me, his eyebrows raised.

shit.

hehehe

masterlist

tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @nickgetsmewetter @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris

[cutielando]

FIC IDEA WITH LANDO: So reader recently moved to Monaco bc of her job (any remote job u want and content creater) anyways she is working at a café just to get some money and lando is a customer. He flirts with her and stuff and she writes her number on the cup without him noticing at the moment. The reader then like a week later mentions it to her friend and talks about how he did not respond yet and like what exactly happened not knowing her friend was on live and her fans get invested and call this mystery boy “café boy” (kind of like Alix Earle with nfl man) Then McLaren invites the reader to the paddock and lando sees her and then have like a talk together in his drivers room and he mentions how he was nervous to text or something. After she makes a soft launch post captioned “my café boy 🤎”. IF U DO IT PLEASE TAG ME!

my coffee boy | l.n.

a/n: thank you so much @idkyet101sblog for the amazing idea 🤎

my masterlist

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yourusername my new home is pretty damn beautiful

📍Monte-Carlo, Monaco

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user1 mother is finally living her dream 😭

francisca.cgomes yayy!!!!!❤️❤️

yourusername ❤️❤️

yourbestfriend can’t believe you left me behind 🥲 JK I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU ❤️❤️

yourusername i miss you already 😭😭❤️

user2 who is she?

user3 she’s a content creator and up-and-coming model🫶🏻 she makes a lot of F1 content since she is very good friends with Kika

user2 how come i’ve never heard of her until now?

user4 she’s only starting to become famous and accustomed to the public eye, maybe that’s why

yourmother so proud of you!!❤️❤️

yourusername love you mom!!!!

user5 if i don't grow up to be just like Y/N, i'm giving up

Real life

Moving to Monaco had always been your dream. Living in the beautiful country right on the water, starting a new life in such a peaceful place and being able to follow your dreams.

It had been your dream ever since you were a little girl.

However, moving to Monaco was in itself very pricey. It hadn’t been easy, gathering the money you needed to lead a relatively comfortable lifestyle in the exclusivist country, but you had managed to do so.

And now, you now had to step up a bit until things got going for you.

And you figured that working at the local coffee shop was the best solution. At least just until you got settled in your new home country and your career kicked in.

You knew that Monaco was the home to a lot of athletes, especially Formula 1 drivers, but you didn't really expect to meet any of them. Monaco was not really as small of a place as people thought, you wouldn't just run into an F1 driver in the street that casually.

No, you run into them at coffee shops.

You had been minding your own business one day, thankful that it was still early and people were not yet coming for coffee. But then the entrance bell rang, and your eyes met the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes on.

The one and only, Lando Norris.

You didn't want to seem like an obsessed fan, so you tried to keep your excitement at bay the best you could.

"Hello" he greeted when he approached the counter, that famous smirk adorning his features.

"Hi. What can I get you?" you asked sweetly, praying to God that he wouldn't notice the furious blush on your cheeks.

"I'll just have a cappuccino, love" he asked, giving you a dazzling smile.

You blushed even more and nodded, getting to work on his drink.

He didn't say anything else for a second, he just watched and admired your movements as you effortlessly prepared his coffee.

"I haven't seen you around here before, and trust me. I would have remembered a face as beautiful as yours" Lando suddenly asked, leaning forward against the counter.

You almost did a double take, not wanting to get your hopes up. Was he actually flirting with you? Were you just dreaming?

You cleared your throat before you answered, which made Lando smile even more cockily.

"I just moved here a couple of days ago, got a job with a modelling agency and figured I would work for some extra money until the modelling gigs kick in" you explained, looking at his from the corner of your eye to see his wide eyes when you mentioned being a model.

"With a face as beautiful as yours, figured you were a model of some sort. Nobody would pass on someone as pretty as you"

You blushed again, thankful that the shop was almost empty and people couldn't see you falling apart just from talking to the man.

"Do you flirt with every barista you meet, Mr. Norris?" you teased, pouring the drink into a to-go cup.

"Just the insanely pretty ones"

You chuckled and shook your head, taking the sharpie in your hand to write his name on the cup. As soon as you wrote his name, your hand moved on its own, scribbling your phone number underneath and the message 'call me <3' next to it.

Biting your lip, you gave him the drink with a smile, biding your goodbyes.

"I'll see you around, Y/N" he said, looking at your name tag.

"Okay" was all you could say, your mind too fuzzy to come up with a better response.

He turned around just before he exited the cafe, winking at you before departing.

What the hell had just happened?

♡♡♡♡♡

Much to your disappointment, a couple of days had gone by without a single text from the driver.

You hadn't thought much of it, way too busy with unpacking and such to even think about your encounter. It was our friend who kept asking you about it, going out of her mind when you mentioned you had given your number to an F1 driver.

"Y/N, come here, you left me all alone" Samantha, your friend, called out for you from the living room.

You sighed, unwillingly getting out of your very comfortable position on your bed and walked into the living room.

Not even paying attention to what Samantha was doing, you fell on the couch face first, your sore limbs tired from the short walk from the bedroom to the living room.

"I was very comfortable in bed, thank you very much" you mumbled, but Samantha paid you no mind.

She knew how grumpy you got in the evenings, so she had learned to ignore your comments in such instances.

"Has he texted you yet?" she asked, making you glare at her.

"I don't know how many times you've already asked me that and how many times I've given you the exact same answer. No, he hasn't" you grumbled, hiding your face in your pillow.

Samantha hummed, casting a sneaky glance to her phone.

"But like what exactly happened?" she pressed, making you sigh.

"It's not that interesting of a story. He came in the coffee shop, ordered a drink, we flirted a little and then I wrote my number on his cup" you explained once again, and unbeknownst to you, your fans were going wild over the information they had just heard.

Samantha almost wanted to laugh when she saw the dozens of comments flooding in, calling Lando the "mysterious café boy" that hadn't texted you.

"If I were him, I would have texted you the minute I walked out" she defended, making you sigh.

"But you're not him. There are numerous reasons that could explain why he hasn't texted me, he's a busy guy, Samantha" you defended, getting up from the couch to head back to your bedroom, so done with the conversation.

Samantha waited until the door was closed before switching her attention back to her phone.

"And there you go, ladies and gentlemen. Our girl is finally finding love" she giggled, clapping her hands.

If only Lando would have the courage to make the first step.

♡♡♡♡♡

You had always been a fan of Formula 1, you got that from your father. He would always bring you with him to races when you were younger, and his love and admiration was passed onto you from a very young age.

However, you hadn't attended a race in a while, you hadn't had the opportunity or the time to go to one.

Until now.

McLaren had contacted you a couple of days before the Silverstone Grand Prix, inviting you as their VIP guest for the weekend. And who were you to refuse a weekend with the team of the guy you were crushing on?

That's how you found yourself walking towards the McLaren hospitality, bag clutched tightly in your hand as you approached the brightly papaya colored building.

Sighing with a smile on your face, you had just put your hand on the handle when the door opened from the inside and Lando stepped out, stopping in his tracks when he saw you in front of him.

The both of you froze, not knowing how to react. The first one to break the tension was Lando, who smiled at you widely.

"Hey, Y/N. Long time no see" he said, making you chuckle and nod.

"Yeah"

He nodded, and silence settled for a split second between the two of you before he spoke up.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't text you. I saw your number, even saved it in my phone and was meaning to say something. I was just too nervous to screw things up, cause I really like you" he confessed, making your heartbeat quicken significantly.

Your eyes widened, and relief finally settled into your troubled mind. There had been so many thoughts and theories in your head about why he hadn't contacted you. Maybe you had misread the situation, maybe he wasn't interested, maybe he didn't see your number written next to his name, countless possibilities had been swirling around in your head.

But now, you were finally content. He was just nervous, bless his heart. If you were being fair, you would have been way too nervous to contact him if the roles had been reversed.

"Don't worry, it's okay" you reassured him, which made Lando feel better.

"I want to make it up to you. How about dinner tonight? My treat, I'll show you around the city" he suggested, his eyes full of hope.

You couldn't possibly deny him, so you found yourself nodding.

"Great" he smiled and leaned in to plant a kiss on your cheek before departing towards the garage.

You bit your lip, trying to suppress a smile.

He hadn't forgotten you after all.

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yourusername my café boy 🤎

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francisca.cgomes i’m so happy for you guys!!!❤️❤️

yourusername thank you babe!!!✨❤️

user1 who is that????

user2 i’m so jealous 🙂‍↕️🥲

pietrapilao ❤️

yourusername 🫶🏻

user3IS THAT LANDO?????

user4 why would you think it’s lando?

user5 some people saw him with someone at the race and think this is his girlfriend

maxfewtrell smooth

yourusername thanks 🙂‍↕️

user6 this is basically confirmation that’s Lando 😭

maxfewtrell don’t take my word for it, people

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[babyhatesreality]

The Book was Better

Daddy!Stucky x little f!reader

Warnings: SFW Agere (SSC), f! reader, reader is named but name used sparingly, pet names/nicknames, fear of disappointment, a little language, fluff (I mean really do you expect anything less from me? :D)

PLEASE NOTE- THIS STORY IS AGERE AND SFW, THE REST OF MY BLOG IS NOT NECESSARILY SO. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSUMPTION. DO NOT COPY, PLAGIARIZE, OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS ONTO ANY SITE. Likes, comments, and reblogs deeply appreciated! 

A/N- for @asittwas, who just gave me the loveliest compliment and reblog. Thank you darling!! To all of you- sorry to be gone so long. Life hopefully is going to ease up for a while.

"Alright puppy, you ready?" Steve said, grinning as he finished tying your shoes.

"YES!" you screamed with joy, flinging yourself forward into his arms. He laughed and tossed you in the air, before bringing you into his chest and nuzzling your cheek lovingly. "Can we please go now pleeeeease?"

"Yup, it's go time! Let's get Daddy and head out."

You wriggled with excitement. You all were going to the zoo today! The day was finally here! They'd been hyping you up for a while over it- not that you needed the help getting excited- and you were nearly exploding for joy, hence Papa carrying you to find Daddy. If he put you down, you were likely to run roughly 9000 laps around the apartment just on adrenaline alone. And while chasing you was a good workout for the both of them, Steve and Bucky had agreed to keep your energy reserved for the zoo.

"What animals are you most excited to see today, little one?" Steve asked, bouncing you playfully as you made your way together to the bedroom. They had asked you the same question every day for the past two weeks, and you had a different answer every time.

You tapped your fingers against your lips, thinking. "Ummmm..." you mumbled as you thought hard. "Da tigers, and da sheep, and...and..." Steve pinched his lips together in amusement at this new combo and waited for you to finish your thought, "....and the DRAGONS!"

Well. That was an entirely new one.

Steve carefully cleared his throat, wanting to get ahead of this now. "Baby," he said gently, slowing down his pace a bit. You frowned and looked down at his feet, speaking before he could gather his thoughts and patting him hard on the shoulder.

"Papa, go faster!"

"Baby, listen-"

"Go faster to Daddy!! Now!!!"

"Hey," Steve said sternly, stopping immediately. You bit your lip, looking contrite. "Are you allowed to talk to me that way?"

"I sorry," you said, abashed. "I excited."

Steve smiled gently and gave you a kiss on the temple in forgiveness as he resumed his journey. "I know you're excited. But I need you to listen right now and be a good girl. Understood?"

"Okay, Papa!"

"Good girl. So...so there will be lots of fun animals at the zoo today, and we'll see them all, okay?"

"Okay!"

"But there might not be all the animals you want. Sometimes that happens."

"But dat's where dey live. In da ZOO. Dey gonna be dere."

"I know, honey," he said patiently, praying that this didn't go off the rails. They had been reading the Hobbit to you, and you had become obsessed with the characters, especially Smaug. He was the ultimate villain in all your playacting recently. Steve and Bucky tried so hard not to destroy your make believe world, but he also didn't want you to get crushed when you didn't see anything close to the dragon in your mind today. "We'll see all the animals that live at the zoo. But some animals don't live at the zoo."

"I know! Dey live all over the world and den some live at the zoo."

"Right. So the zoo doesn't have all the animals in the world. But that doesn't mean that we're not going to have lots of fun, right?"

"Right!"

"Right. So if an animal isn't there, then that's okay, right? Because we're still gonna have fun."

"Yup!"

"Okay, then!" Steve said, knowing he had laid the ground work to help you if you mentioned "dragons" again, and feeling pretty good about it. You two walked into the bedroom just as Bucky was pulling on a baseball cap. You squealed in delight, leaning forward out of Steve's arms towards Bucky. He spun around and effortlessly caught you, giving you a huge kiss on the cheek.

"Alright, Trouble, you ready?" he asked as Steve retrieved his own ballcap. "You ready to see all the animals?"

"Yeah! We gonna see DRAGONS!"

Steve's nervous gaze swung to Bucky's face. Bucky was looking at you impassively, clearly in thought. He turned and smiled gently, and Steve's heart stopped racing for a moment. Surely Bucky would help and say the right thing to you.

"Well, you never know at the zoo," Bucky said with a shrug and a grin. You cheered loudly. He chuckled at the look of astonished betrayal on his husband's face as you all headed out the door.

*******************************************************

It became clear to the both of them that the idea of dragons had taken hold of your little mind and was not letting up. The entire way there, you chatted animatedly about how when you saw the dragon, Papa and Daddy could pretend to be the knights and the kings and the elves and the hobbits from Daddy's book and save you- the beautiful princess- from certain death and then you- who also apparently wielded a convenient bow and arrow- would save all the animals in the zoo and become the Princess of New York City.

When you all went through the front gates, there was a blessed time when they thought they might be off the hook from this whole dragon thing. All the sights captured and held your attention. You were instantly mesmerized by the beautiful tigers, you laughed at the silly monkeys, you followed the paths of the birds and the peacocks being very careful not to scare them, and your eyes had taken on a wonderous look when you actually got to feed a giraffe. The petting zoo part had been a huge hit. They were almost home free, thinking about lunch as you skipped in between them down the path, holding both their hands.

"Can we see da dragons now?" you asked politely out of the blue, after about three hours of not mentioning it once. Steve shot Bucky a nervous look.

"Well, Baby, remember how I said that some animals don't live in zoos?" Steve said carefully

"Yeah, but-"

"Well, love, dragons don't do well in zoos. And this zoo doesn't have any dragons."

"Yes dey-"

"No, no they don't. But we can go see other animals and keep having fun, right?"

"Go see da dragons!"

"There's no dragons to see here, baby. We could go look at the zebras instead, how would you like that?"

You shook your head, planting your feet, which caused them both to stop. You pointed to a sign on the left, letting go of Bucky's hand.

"See? Da dragons is DERE!" you said triumphantly. "I see da word!!" They turned and looked. The sign that you were impetuously pointing to listed reptiles, tortoises, and...Komodo dragons. "See? Dragons!" You snatched Bucky's hand again, pulling them in that direction. "We gotta go!" you hollered joyfully, yanking your daddies as hard as you could to follow you.

"She must have recognized the word from looking at the book," Steve murmured to Bucky as he let you drag him towards the enclosure. "Do you think she's going to be upset when...when she sees it?"

"Only one way to find out," Bucky said, failing to suppress his grin at your stubbornness and determination, and trotting willingly with you. Steve sighed, exasperated, internally grumbling and swearing to himself that if you had a meltdown it was all going to be Bucky's fault.

Once you all got closer, you excitedly asked Bucky to pick you up in a hushed voice, knowing that dragons could hear intruders into their caves. You wanted a better view for your first time seeing a live dragon.

Steve watched your face very carefully as the three of you approached the large viewing area. He watched as your brow wrinkled in confusion. He heard you whisper to Bucky.

"Where is da treasure?"

Bucky, to his credit, answered quickly, having worked on his game plan all along. "Probably inside," he whispered back. "You know, so the other dragons and zoo people don't steal it. He's got it hidden extra extra good."

"Dat makes sense," you said, nodding wisely. You craned your neck, holding tightly onto Bucky as he tried to hold in a snicker. "How's come we see outsides and not a cave like da book?" was your next question.

"Because we don't want to go into the cave and get burned up, do we?"

"OH! No, don't want dat."

"I didn't think you did."

"But den how's he gonna come out?" You pointed to the opening in the rock. "Is too small."

Bucky was saved by a lizard in that moment. He didn't have a good answer to that one, but luckily the Komodo dragon chose to make his appearance right then. Both Steve and Bucky turned their faces to watch you as your jaw dropped in utter astonishment. The Komodo dragon took his sweet time stepping out of the enclosure, his long tongue flicking the air around him.

"What's he doing?" you asked in an awed voice.

"He's got the scent of something," Bucky whispered back, actually knowing the real answer here. "He senses and tastes something in the air and he's trying to figure out what it is."

"Ohhhhh," you breathed in wonder. Your eyes took in every inch of that Komodo dragon, your little body jolting with surprise or glee anytime the lizard moved. After about three minutes of you being nearly catatonic with joy at finally seeing a dragon, you turned to Bucky again, confusion crossing your face.

"Is bigger in da book," you commented as you tried to figure out why this dragon was so small.

Bucky couldn't help the snort of laughter at that moment, but as your little frown deepened just a bit, he passed it off as a cough then turned very seriously to you. "This must be a baby dragon," he explained in a lofty voice that was clearly supposed to be a stab at a scholarly approach. "A big dragon probably wouldn't agree to live at the zoo."

"But, den where is his daddy dragon? Is he gonna come back?" you asked anxiously.

"Oh yeah, of course," Bucky said without missing a beat. Steve suppressed a smile, knowing that NOW Bucky was mentally sweating bullets. Then, damn it all, Bucky once again dug himself out of the hole. "You know what? This is probably a distraction," Bucky whispered conspiratorially to you.

"Distra...districta...a what?"

"A distraction. The daddy dragon is guarding the real treasure, while the baby dragon makes everyone come look at him because he's so cute and sweet. No one will think to go looking for their treasure because the baby dragon distracts them!"

"Dat is so SMART!" you gasped in agreed. "Smart dragons! Like da books!!"

"Yup, exactly like the books."

You looked back at the Komodo dragon, smiling ear to ear, then turned back to both your daddies.

"Da book was better," you declared happily, then nodded sagely as if the matter was now closed. "Can we go see zebras?"

You all had a delightful rest of the day at the zoo, seeing all the animals, and that night you cheerfully went to bed without a fuss at the promise of a story with your daddies starring as the knights of New York who saved you from the dragon.

And for the rest of your lives, occasionally Steve or Bucky would turn to each other and quietly say "Eh, the book was better," making the each other laugh to the point of joyful tears.

[hugmekenobi]

Return to the Light

A Bad Batch Post S2 Oneshot

Gif by @spacemagicandlaserswords

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Summary: Being separated from one another had taken it's toll and the search had been hard but in all the darkness, a glimmer of hope remains

Warnings: Mentioned canon-typical violence, swearing, my made-up timeline, limited use of y/n, some choice interrogation techniques, sad flashbacks, mentions/descriptions of torture, mentions of death, mentions/descriptions of injury and sickness, reader is not in the greatest of headspaces and takes it out on Lyra, talks of self-sabotage/sacrifice and self-loathing, my interpretation of all things Force, dodgy Star Wars medical techniques, slight manipulation/miscommunication, kissing, overall a pretty angsty time but there's some fluff sprinkled in

Masterlist for S1 and S2

Word Count: 18.2K (don't look at me, idk what happened lol)

Rating: 18+

Author's note: Huge shoutout and thanks to my friend @burningfieldof-clover who supported and provided many helpful tips as I struggled though this!! And its finally here! I am so sorry it took so long but I hope you all enjoy it despite the wait! I have another one planned to follow that hopefully will not take as long haha so I'm excited to get to work on that too! Also praying that by posting this, I can manifest a S3 trailer haha

Nelvaan

Ever since the disaster of Ord Mantell and from the second they’d managed to flee; Hunter had been doing everything he could to find you and Omega again. He’d tormented himself with the various possibilities of what could be happening to the two of you. Every day he’d been apart from you both had seen him fighting with himself. Possible informants and Imperial soldiers he could cope with just fine, what had been proving to be a struggle was fighting the complete hopelessness that had overwhelmed him as the weeks dragged on with no sign or information on the whereabouts of either of you. Every failed lead had left the bitter taste of disappointment and there were times when he felt like he would be crushed by the weight each defeat brought.

Things had started to shift however when they came across the various wanted posters and holoimages of you that were strewn across the galaxy, particularly in the Outer Rim. So, when Echo had decided to do some work on his own and went back to working with his contacts within the Empire and reported back that you hadn’t actually been taken, he’d felt that flicker of hope he hadn’t been able to find for a long time and the plan changed. Echo would continue to utilise his allies in the search for Omega whilst he and Wrecker looked for you. Once Hunter had you back, the four of you would reconvene and find Omega.

To get to Omega, they needed your skills and… and Hunter just needed you but there were moments in the early stages of the search where it seemed impossible. Knowing you were out on your own helped with finding his way out of the darkness but knowing you were alive and finding you alive were very different things, the latter was proving to be incredibly challenging.

You may had stopped hiding what you were, but you were remarkably good at making an impression somewhere but still finding a way to go unseen. Every location they’d gone to, they’d been too late, and you appeared to have moved on. You never stuck around anywhere for too long and it was making things a lot harder.

The most recent trail of half-baked information he and Wrecker had followed had led them to this pawn shop- ‘Hidden Gems’. According to rumour, you’d been in asking about them, yet another piece of knowledge that only added to his frustration that they always seemed to miss you by a matter of weeks. Hunter opened the door, but the owner’s back was still turned to them as they pashed the threshold.

Kedrin heard the bell clang as the door opened and shut. “I’ll be with you in a flash.” He said as he finished writing up the recent sales. He closed the book and turned around with a salesman smile on his face, but that and his words of welcome instantly died on his lips as he saw who had walked in.

Immediately upon seeing these men, Kedrin was reminded of a description given to him a while ago by the Jedi everyone had been talking about and he did not want them here. He did not want to deal with this anymore. “Ah, well actually gentlemen, I was just closing up for the afternoon. You’ll have to come back.” He said, wringing his hands nervously as the bigger one split off and began wandering the shop whilst the one with the bandana stayed where he was.

Hunter leaned his back against the door and lazily played with his vibroblade. He knew by the beads of sweat on the owner’s brow and the anxious pounding of his heart that they were in the right place. “Where is she?” He asked, his voice low and hostile as he turned the sign from open to closed, his eyes never leaving the owner.

Kedrin retreated to behind the counter. “I um…” His throat was as dry as sand and he swallowed to get some moisture back so he could speak properly. “I don’t know who-” He cleared his throat again. “Who you are referring to. Perhaps-”

“There’s not point in lying to him. If I can tell you are, he definitely can.”

Kedrin’s eyes darted to the bigger one who had offered the advice, but he had to bring his attention back to the tattooed soldier who was staring at him with such cold and dark eyes that fear creeped up his spine, making his hair stand on end and goosebumps rise on his flesh.

“Where is she?” Hunter asked again as he pushed off the door and steadily walked towards the man.

“I’m- I’m afraid I don’t- don’t have the answer you seek.” Kedrin stuttered. As the soldier drew closer, Kedrin reached under the table and grabbed the blaster he kept concealed there. But, as he lifted it out, in the blink of an eye, the weapon was shot out of his hand and his head was smacked down and being pressed harshly into the countertop- a strong hand on the back of his neck reducing his struggles to break free to be no more than a pitiful effort. His resistance ceased altogether when he felt the sharp tip of a blade being pushed into the back of his hand and he cried out in discomfort as the metal broke the skin and blood began to spill from the cut but there would be no respite for him.

“Try again.” Hunter hissed as he brought his head down to the man’s level.

But all Kedrin could do was whimper in pain.

“She was here. We know she was here. Where did she go?” Hunter growled into his ear, applying more pressure to the point of the blade, ignoring the agonised yelp.

“I don’t know!” Kedrin protested in distress, his voice slightly muffled as his lips touched the cold material of the counter. He hated this part of the job, it wasn’t his fault he had access to other ports of information, it just worked out that way and for the most part he hadn’t gotten into too much bother. But ever since that Jedi woman had come to him with her threats, he’d vowed to himself that he would turn over a new leaf. He’d leave this element of his work behind, and he wouldn’t just be a pushover to whatever or whoever came in demanding his extra services. He felt the hand leave the back of his neck. He uneasily straightened up and tenderly analysed his injury on his hand but was grateful to see that it had felt and looked worse than it was. He took out a handkerchief from the lapel of his jacket and wrapped it up before he tidied his hair in an attempt to regain some calm and control over the situation. “Now, I ask that you leave this instance before I call the proper authorities.” He demanded, but he couldn’t shake the quiver in his speech which removed any forcefulness. He walked around the counter and gestured to the door.

Hunter ignored his requested. He simply took a step back and nodded sharply to Wrecker who cracked his knuckles and neck in intimidation.

Well, he could always start next week. “Wait wait wait! I actually might have something!” Kedrin back peddled fearfully as the larger one stalked towards him and grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket, raising him to his tiptoes. “My brother runs our partner pawn shop on Christophsis and he’s said there’s been Jedi activity there. Apparently, it’s been going on for a while now. Could be who you’re looking for?”

Wrecker glanced back at Hunter who signalled to him to drop the man.

Hunter silently turned on his heels and led the way out of the shop and back to the Marauder. He’d been powerless for far too long and had failed one too many times but that wasn’t going to happen anymore.

This time they weren’t going to miss you.

--

Christophsis

When the hour had finally got late enough, you grabbed your blaster and sheathed your vibroblade and made the final adjustments to your armour before you sneakily opened your door to dark and empty main room of the run-down apartment. You pulled your hood and mask up as you stepped out and headed for the exit.

You got as far as activating the panel for the door to open before the lights turned on.

“You’re going out again.”

You closed the door and huffed out an irritated breath. You swivelled on your heels to see Lyra standing in the doorway of her room. You tugged down your mask. “Yeah… and?”

“And I thought after the last time, you were going to take some time and-”

“You know I can’t do that.” You interrupted icily.

“You’ve barely recovered. I just think-”

“I’ve recovered enough.”

“It’s just one more night. If not for your sake, then do it for mine… please.”

“We’ve already settled here for you, didn’t we?” You retorted.

“After I begged you too! If it were up to you, we’d still be living on that hellhole of a ship and never staying anywhere for more than two weeks! And I don’t know if what we have right now is all that better!”

“I gave you an out months ago! Back on Ord Mantell and again on Corellia! You didn’t have to follow me!” You snapped angrily.

Lyra scoffed. “Corellia was when you finally deemed it fit to fill me in on the whole story after I saw you choke the life out of a man without laying a hand on him. I had known something was off in the weeks since Ord Mantell and then Corellia told me you needed someone. Forgive me if I wanted to stick around to try to help you!”

“I don’t need saving.” You said tightly. “And anyway, he got what was coming to him.” You said utterly uncaring with a simple shrug of your shoulders. “Now, can I go now? Are you done scolding me?”

Lyra looked at you imploringly. “Don’t you see what this is doing to you? You’re losing who you are and it’s-”

You couldn’t listen to the speech again. “I’m not doing this with you again, Lyra. Just go back to bed and I’ll be back later.”

Lyra looked at you in disbelief. “Later? Last time you said that I didn’t see you for three weeks and you came back tortured and half-dead! You’re no good to them if you die in the process of finding them!”

You just shook your head and lifted your mask and turned to open the door again.

“I can’t watch you kill yourself for this anymore.” Lyra said quietly to your back, her words laced with pity and sadness.

“Then don’t look.” With that, you stepped outside into the night.

--

Kirion stepped into the small kitchen in the back of his shop and sifted through the second cupboard. Instinct meant he didn’t need the light and he found what he was looking for.

“Trouble sleeping?”

Kirion yelped and dropped his mug. It smashed to the ground but that was not his concern anymore. The dark outline by the window was. “I don’t want any trouble.” His voice trembling.

“Do you know what they say about people who can’t sleep at night, Kirion?” You asked as you hopped off the counter, the yellow hue of the streetlights coming through the window illuminating your figure.

“N- no.”

“Plagued by a guilty conscience. The crushing weight of knowing you’re not doing enough, or you’ve gone too far can get to you. Or say, being a pawn shop owner intent on ripping everyone off for that extra bit of profit.”

Kirion cleared his throat nervously. He didn’t know how you knew that, but you’d gathered quite the reputation in the time you’d lived here, and he didn’t want you around. “Why are you here then?” He asked shakily. “Guilty conscience too?”

You laughed humourlessly. “You get the pleasure of my company because you have something for me.” Somewhere deep down, you had a different answer, but you wouldn’t allow yourself to bring that to the surface. It would get you nowhere.

“I don’t. I swear I-”

“Oh, this’ll go a lot better if you don’t lie to me.” You said, your voice hardening. You patted him roughly on the shoulder as you stepped past him.

“I don’t know if I have the information you’re looking for.”

“You know who I am?” You flicked the light on and waltzed into the storefront filled with clear glass cases with various pawned off items. Heirlooms, artifacts, jewellery, random items- all seemed to have a place here, whether they were genuine or not. You beckoned him to come in.

“It’s um kind of hard not to.” He wringed his hands anxiously as he followed you in and signalled to the front of the store. He took that opportunity to press the button under the table by the credit register.

You followed his stare and chuckled as you saw the backs of the posters in the front window. “I can sign one for you later.” You started scanning variety of items he possessed. “Quite the business you’ve got here.”

“Keeps-” He swallowed nervously. “Keeps the credits coming in.”

“Shame a lot of it is all garbage.” You smashed your elbow against one of the glass panels. “Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber?” You snickered as you picked up the item and sure enough, you got nothing from it. “Please. Nothing here but a bunch of dressed up metal material and a design anyone with access to an old holonet could copy. Then again, you probably knew that, but it doesn’t stop you underpaying for it and then charging a steep fee for the poor sucker that falls for it.”

Kirion gulped as he watched you continue your assault on his store.

You shattered a few more glass panes with claims of ‘Jedi artifacts’ in them. “Some of this is just embarrassing. You actual convince people that this stuff is worth the price?”

“What do you want?” Kirion interjected swiftly as he saw you getting ready to break another one.

You paused your movement and angled yourself to face him. You mimed applause. “That’s the right question. See, you gave yourself away earlier, Kirion. I’d expect you to know who I am, but to know that I’m after information? You had no way of knowing that, not officially and it’s the fact that you do know, that makes you of use to me.”

“Of use?” Kirion repeated fretfully.

You stalked closer to the desk register, the broken glass crunching beneath your feet. “You run this place in a back alley and get everyone from all walks of life coming in here pawning off their shit that you then rip off, but I really don’t give a fuck about that. What I do give a fuck about is that you hear things. People will tell you their stories, the things they’ve seen and overheard in the streets or on their travels. You are a fountain of knowledge of the underground happenings in this galaxy. Or, at the very least, you know people that run in the circles that have what I’m searching for.

“I-”

You placed a finger on his lips to shush him. “Here’s how this will work: So long as you don’t lie to me, and you don’t call the Empire, I won’t hurt you and you get to keep your life. Are we clear?” You removed your finger.

“C-crystal.” Kirion stuttered, very much regretting what he’d done in the beginning of this meeting.

“Good.” You released a short breath. “Now, I’m looking for a group of clones. They don’t look like the ones you may come across these days, rare as that seems to be now. One wears a red bandana and has a tattoo on the left-side of his face. Looks like this.” You pointed to the white insignia on your top. “But it’s black. The other is tall and bald with a scar on his left temple and he’s blind in his left eye. Heard of anyone like that?”

“I don’t know. No one like that’s come here.” Kirion shifted his feet awkwardly.

You tossed your head back in aggravation. “I really don’t have time for this.” You summoned the Force and lifted him against the wall and started to compress his airway. “I told you; I don’t like liars.” You gave him a pitying stare as he couldn’t help but clutch desperately at his throat. “Wanna try again?” You relaxed your hold slightly to give him the chance to speak.

“Okay- they- they- could be- be- coming here.” He gasped.

“They’re coming here?” You double checked as you eased your grip and let him get his feet back on the ground.

Kirion panted as he felt the invisible hold around his neck loosen. “Yes, my other store got a visit from some men that match what you’re saying. The manager there told them there was a Jedi here and called me earlier to let me know they might pass this way. That’s all I know, please, get out!”

You narrowed your eyes at him because despite his now honest words, you could tell he was getting anxious, and it wasn’t all because of you now. It was then that you heard the familiar pounding footsteps grow closer and halt outside the front door. You released an exasperated sigh and tutted. “Kirion… I thought we had an understanding.”

“No- wait! I-”

You called on the Force and snapped his neck before he had a chance to finish his plea and a second later, you heard the door crash open.

“You’re-”

“Under arrest?” You finished as you watched Kirion’s limp body slide to the floor. You heaved a sigh and turned to face the squad of ten stormtroopers that were lining the rows and blocking the path between you and the door.

“Get-”

“On my knees? Place my hands behind my head?” You interrupted, boredom evident in your tone as you crossed your arms and leaned against the till counter.

The troopers faltered slightly at your blatant dismissiveness of them.

You pretended to look confused for a moment. “Now, I can never keep track of where the Empire is in that whole phasing out thing so I always gotta ask this- any of you got a CT number?” You straightened up and hovered your hand over your blaster. “It’s always much simpler when none of you do.”

“Last chance, Jedi!” One of them called out as they readjusted their stances.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “Yeah… you all say the same thing.”

--

You quietly walked into your place and pulled your hood and mask down, ignoring the sting of pain as the material caught on the cuts on the bridge of your nose and your lip. You ran your tongue along your mouth and could still taste the harsh metallic taste of blood as it continued to ooze from the wound. Your nose was also still bleeding so you turned on the dim kitchen light to find something to stop it.

“Thought you’d be outta here by now.” You commented cooly without looking up as you heard her door open, and the soft padding of footsteps walk towards you. You fished out a cloth and ran it under some cold water and wiped away the congealed blood on your face before you held it to your nose.

“We don’t have a ship anymore, remember?” Lyra reminded you as she sat by the small kitchen table.

You’d forgotten about that. After the two of you had found this place, you’d sold it to someone who claimed to have word from Hunter. Unfortunately, that had turned out to be a rather bad deal and it was your first experience of dealing with the Imperials stationed here. “There are transports.”

Lyra just shook her head at you. “You still don’t get it.”

“Don’t really see what there is to get. Just hop on the next ship outta here, I won’t stop you.”

“I care about you, dumbass. Whatever is happening to you, I can’t just leave you alone in it.” Lyra replied wearily. Part of her wanted to, she’d even started packing a bag this time, but after these months spent with you and especially after what you went through recently told her you were one step away from a full-on breakdown and whether you would admit it or not, you still needed someone.

You ground out a sigh and stared down at the floor. She kept doing this. She kept having that faith in you that you couldn’t see but you didn’t deserve it. She should leave, she’d be better off without you but you didn’t have it in you to give her that final push. So, you worked on freezing her out, pushing her away until she realised you weren’t good for her or anyone else. But she refused, she was still here with you, and you couldn’t fathom why.

“Did you get what you were looking for?” Lyra asked, deliberately avoiding asking the state of the people that had clearly got in your way tonight. She’d seen what you were capable of but found that living in as much ignorance as she could saved her a lot of trouble. That and reminding herself you were not yourself right now.

“Yup.” You rinsed out the cloth and got ready to move into your room.

“I need to check your stitches. You weren’t ready for a fight yet.”

You knew what she would find if she looked. “No, you don’t.”

“(Y/N), let me see.” Lyra caught your arm as you went to move past her.

You huffed out another irritated breath but took your armour off before you lifted your first layer over your head. “Knock yourself out.”

She pushed up your vest top. “Yeah, you ripped a few open.” Lyra winced as she saw the lines of blood secreting from the sore and irritated looking now open wounds on your back.

“It’s fine.” You said dismissively. The pain wasn’t bothering you. You needed to come up with a plan of how to know when they got here.

“It’s not. Sit down.” She insisted as she went for the medkit. She had gotten well-acquainted with the item over the months, the most recent incident in particular had really tested her skills.

You released a resigned sigh and sat across from her and let her start cleaning them and closing them up again.

“They’re coming here, Lyra.” You found yourself whispering into the silence.

Lyra paused her process. “You’ve been told that before. The same thing happened on Cermau a couple months ago and it didn’t pan out. You-”

“I know what happened on Cermau. This isn’t like that.” You said defensively. It had to be different. You thought to yourself. You weren’t sure how many more dead ends you could take.

Lyra finished up the last few stitches. “You can’t know that.”

As soon as you felt her complete that last stitch, you stood. “Yes, I can.” You grabbed your armour and strode had over to your room without another word and shut the door.

You braced your hands against it and took a few deep breaths. You did have a way you could do but it had been so long since you’d gone near it, and you didn’t know if you could cope with the failure it might bring.

--

You settled in the middle of your crappy bed, the mattress sinking to the bedframe beneath as you shifted around to attempt to find some level of comfort. When you had found what you figured would be the ‘best’ spot, you crossed your legs and placed your hands on your knees.

You inhaled slowly, deeply, blocking out all the distractions of your mind and the sounds of the late-night life outside, and closed your eyes. You reached into the Force but what met you wasn’t any familiar signature. It was scenes and voices that you had tried so hard to forget.

Flashes of the people you’d hurt… you’d killed.

All that happened to you a week ago.

Tech hanging below the rail car.

Plan 99.

Omega, unconscious and injured on the ground.

Such an exquisite creature.

The torture he made you go through... and enjoyed.

His words to Hunter- To lose one of your own, it must weigh heavily on you as their leader.

Omega being carried off.

Hemlock letting you and Hunter have one last goodbye before you were taken away.

I love you.

No, it was too much. You couldn’t do it. Your breathing was shaky as you tore yourself out. You wiped the cold sweat from your palms. “Come on, get it together.” You told yourself as you took a long calming breath. You needed to do this right.

You centred yourself and went again. Except this time, all you could see was a vast space of darkness. No light, no hope, only darkness. Was this to be your fate? To be tormented by the fact you had let yourself fall and there was nothing left for you. How could you find them in this? You had no light left in you to give.

Spark.

You felt yourself twitch in discomfort. You knew that voice. That name. Only one person ever called you that.

Spark, you’re still not focused.

Let go of your anger. You’re not as lost as you view yourself to be.

No, no it couldn’t be. How could it be? No, this wasn’t right. You pulled yourself out and you looked around your room in a blind panic as you fought to get your distressed breathing back under control.

But it was only you in there. How could you hear him? It had to be some trick your mind was playing on you. Payback for all you’d done.

You exhaled heavily and braced your hands behind your neck as you looked to the ceiling. You stood and paced the confined space, shaking your hands as if you could shake away the bad feeling sitting on your chest.

You sat back on the bed and rolled your shoulders as you found your focus again. Faint rays of sun now came through the cracks in your window along with the sound of rain pattering against the fractured glass, but the new time meant nothing to you.

You didn’t care how long it would take; you were going to find them.

--

Hunter and Wrecker walked out of the ship and departed the bay to enter the streets of Christophsis- the rain sliding down their armour as they moved between the crowds.

“Well, we’re in the right place.” Wrecker commented as he nudged Hunter in the direction of the first holoscreen that had your image appear and a quick look at the immediate buildings followed that theme since they all had multiple paper posters in their windows and on their doors.

Hunter swallowed tightly as he saw holographic picture of you. There’d been one too many ‘right places’ in his search for you. He wasn’t going to accept that philosophy until he had something more than a wanted sign for you. “Come on. We’ll start with Kendrin’s brother.”

--

“So, you’re saying you saw a figure head in that direction after the disturbance last night?” A trooper pointed in said direction as she questioned the current resident on her list whilst the rest of her squad proceeded to clear the pawnshop.

“This looks like her handiwork, Sarge.” Wrecker uttered from the corner of the street they were observing from as he studied the scene ahead. Squads of troopers had cornered off the street and where questioning the civilians that appeared to live in the neighbourhood. And being carried out on stretchers were the dead bodies of troopers, but not all had blaster burns on their armour.

Hunter nodded his agreement and felt his heart beat that little bit faster with the flutter of hope. “Come on, we can’t stay here too long.” He directed as he and Wrecker turned away from the pawnshop.

As Hunter began to track your movements based on what he’d heard the trooper say, this finally being the right location was starting to feel a lot more plausible now.

--

There it was! You saw that faint glimmer of light in all the dark. It had to be them! You could feel it!

You jumped from your bed and grabbed your top and armour, hastily putting them on as you opened your door and bolted for the exit.

--

The weather had taken a turn for the worst, but you barely registered the pouring rain as you left the building. Your clothes were already soaked but it didn’t matter, you were too focused on holding onto that feeling of them.

“You’re the Jedi everyone is searching for.”

You whipped out your blaster and turned in the direction of the voice.

“No, wait! I don’t mean you any harm!” She came out from behind the skip with her hands in the air. “My name is-”

“Don’t tell me.” You interrupted sharply as you studied the Twilek before you. “How’d you find me?” You asked coldly. You didn’t lower your blaster either.

“It wasn’t easy. I’ve been following you since I knew of your arrival here. I thought I’d lost you when you disappeared for those three weeks.”

The fact you hadn’t sensed her presence at all told you that you were not what you used to be. You never used to be so sloppy. “I can’t have you knowing where I am.” You rested your hand over the trigger.

“Wait!” She reached a hand out to you. “I haven’t told anyone, and I won’t. I just need your help!”

“My help?” You repeated. “I can’t help you and I’ve got somewhere to be so-”

“Please.” She begged. “My sister, she’s sick and we barely have enough credits to feed ourselves, let alone get medicine.”

“Not my problem, I’m sorry.” Satisfied though that she wasn’t a true threat, you put your blaster away and got ready to leave.

“It wasn’t my sister’s problem that she got caught in a blaster fight and her wound got infected! No one asks for that!”

That made you pause. You’d had your fair share of shootouts in this place but you’d also you’re your best to minimise the damage to outsiders. “Where was the fight?” You found yourself asking quietly.

“About a month ago by the old shipyard on the outskirts of the city. We’d been told we could find some cheap transport off world, but something went down with the Imperials stationed there and my sister… I didn’t tug her down fast enough. I didn’t know what to do and then I heard of the Jedi that had landed in Christophsis and I knew I had to find you.”

A month ago… but that was where and when you’d gone to sell the ship… where’d you’d first been ambushed by the Imperials… no, there wasn’t meant to be anyone else there. Maybe you could… no, you didn’t have the time. Your aim was always good, it wouldn’t have been your shot that hit her. “I can’t.” You said dismissively, but there was a fading sense of conviction in your voice. Some part of you wanted to do the right thing by her. But it wasn’t enough to stop you pushing past her.

“I thought Jedi helped people!”

You stopped in your tracks and made a noise of resigned frustration as you turned around to face the young Twilek. “Wait here.”

You hastily ran back into your building, silently entered, and grabbed a few spare medical supplies from your kit before you ran back out to meet her again. “Alright, show me.”

--

Your place looked like a luxurious penthouse compared to where this young twilek and her sister were staying. It was virtually a single room with cracks in the walls and ceiling and there was a distinct damp aroma in the air. It was no wonder that they wanted to leave this place.

You then saw the smaller and younger twilek lying on a small mattress in the middle of the floor. There were drops of sweat dotted across her brow and she was shivering uncontrollably.

You’d never wanted anyone innocent to be affected by what you were doing yet it had happened with Lyra and now this child. “I’m sorry.” You whispered to her as you kneeled down beside her. You saw the bloodstain on her clothing and delicately lifted the end of her shirt to see the wound on her hip being covered by nothing more than a ripped piece of a shirt.  

“Can you help her?”

You half- turned to face the sister who was looking on fretfully. “I can clean the wound and reclose it. After that, it’ll be down to her. But the fact that she’d held on for so long is a good sign. She’s strong, she should be okay.”

The sister sighed in relief.

You brought out the supplies and recleaned and applied to bacta before you re-dressed the wound. “Do you have water?” You asked.

The sister nodded and dashed over to grab a cannister. She passed it to you.

“Lift her head.” You instructed gently.

She murmured words of comfort to her sister as she propped up her head.

As tenderly but as effectively as you could, you pushed the pill past her lips and got her to swallow it down with some water.

When her breathing had grown more controlled and her shivering had subsided, you go to your feet. “I’m leaving you some bacta and wound dressings along with some pills that’ll help with the fever. That’s all I can do now.”

“Thank you.” She clasped your hand tightly. “I won’t forget this.”

“It’s better that you do.” You said grimly. “And once she’s better, if you still need a way out of here, use the actual transports off this planet.” You chucked a bag of credits on the ground before you walked out of the room.

You rounded the corner but swiftly pressed your back against the wall since there was a group of stormtroopers directly in your path. You would have no chance of finding them with those soldiers in your way. You needed to find a way around them and what better way to do that than going from roof to roof. You summoned the Force and jumped to the top of the building and got moving.

You would get a better view from above anyway.

--

When another small squad of troopers made their presence known ahead, Hunter signalled him and Wrecker to an alleyway out of the line of their sight. He knew they were close to you, but the Imperial presence was making it hard to track you effectively.

“We can’t keep hiding like this, Hunter.” Wrecker grunted in frustration.

“I know, Wrecker.” Hunter agreed, equally as irritated. “If I could just-” He stopped suddenly.

“Hunter?”

“Someone’s here.” Hunter muttered quietly as his hand fell over his blaster.

“You’re getting sloppy, Sergeant. I’ve been following you the past 3 blocks.”

The voice that he’d been longing to hear and that was so familiar, he’d recognise it anywhere. His breath hitched with the realisation at what this finally meant. Hunter took off his helmet and turned around to the distant sound of feet hitting a puddle in the ground. And it was you. Standing there before him. It was finally you.

“Hello, Hunter.” You said softly, so softly you could barely hear the words themselves due to the sound of your own heart thundering in your ears. If it wasn’t for the flash of recognition in his eyes or the way Wrecker’s jaw dropped as he propped his helmet atop his head, you wouldn’t have been certain that you’d said anything at all. You tugged down your coverings and let yourself be unprotected to the rain.

He felt like the air had been punched out of his lungs. Hunter dropped his helmet and something akin to a choked gasp fell from his mouth as he could at long last lay his eyes on you. He started to slowly walk towards you but that soon became a run, water kicking up against him, but he didn’t care.

Your feet slapped against the wet ground as you met him halfway and crashed into his arms with a thankful sigh and buried your face in his neck. Even as you held him tightly to you, part of you still couldn’t believe that it was him. You felt something swell in your heart, a feeling you couldn’t place but knew you hadn’t felt in a long time.

Did you deserve this? Did you deserve to have him back after all you’d done? Pushing the thought away, you readjusted your embrace as if you could somehow hold him even closer.

He twisted his hands in your clothing and breathed you in. He’d imagined this moment for so long. When things seemed too dark and hopeless, he’d clung on to this. To think about how it would feel to finally see you again. To hold you again. And imagination couldn’t compare to the utter joy in his heart that reality brought him. He almost didn’t want to let you go for fear that you could be taken away again but practicality took precedence, the two of you couldn’t stay this way forever, as much as he might want to.

Tears mixed with rain streamed down both your cheeks as you parted from one another.

You cupped his face in your hands. “You’re here? You’re actually here?” You murmured, your voice cracking with emotion. You’d driven yourself crazy with picturing this moment, you needed to make sure this wasn’t your brain’s idea of a cruel joke.

Hunter removed your hands from his face and kissed your gloved knuckles. “I’m here.” He whispered back, his breathing still shaky as he pressed pressing his forehead into yours.

“You’re here.” You repeated as you looked into his soft brown eyes.

Hunter’s thumb gently caressed the cut on your lip, and he noticed the other wound on your nose. “Did they-”

You pulled his hand away. “Doesn’t matter. This is all I care about right now.”

Before Hunter could push the matter, he felt his brother approach.

“And what about me?”

You glanced past Hunter to the indignant but affectionate voice. “Hi, Wrecker.” You met his open armed invitation and let him swing your around as he hugged you.

“Good to see you, (Y/N)!”

“How’d you find me?” You asked as he placed you back down.

“You didn’t make it easy.” Wrecker griped. “We always seemed to be two steps behind you.”

“I haven’t exactly been hiding though.” You disputed as you pointed to a discarded wanted poster on the ground beside you.

“Between the Imperials and dead end leads and your rather annoying ability to hide in plain sight, it was tough. We got a lucky break with a guy whose brother owned another pawn shop here. Saw the results of a fight and figured we’d finally caught up with you.” Hunter explained as he came to stand in front of you and took his helmet from his brother.

You gulped. You’d be careful to make sure the people you’d gone after had no one they’d be leaving behind. You didn’t realise you’d messed up with that this time. “He- he had a brother?”

Hunter tilted his head at the unusually emotive response. “Apparently but I’m assuming you had a good reason for ending it the way you did.”

You coughed. “Yeah, totally.” You straightened your back and changed the subject. “Where’s Echo?”

“Using his contact to try to get more intel on Hemlock. We still don’t know where he’s holding Omega.” Hunter kicked the ground. “Don’t suppose you have anything?”

“I wish I did but everything I gathered was either old or what we knew already. He’s good at laying low.” You seethed.

“We’ll get him, though. We have too.” Wrecker stated firmly.

“How soon can you leave?” Hunter asked.

“Um, well-” You cut yourself off as your sight drifted past Hunter’s shoulder to the end of the alley at the lone trooper that had a blaster pointed at Hunter’s back.

“Watch out!” You yelled as you pushed Hunter out the way of the incoming blaster bolt. You drew your blaster and fired a shot that landed in the centre of the trooper’s chest, and he dropped to the ground. But you knew, where there was one stormtrooper, there would be at least five more behind them.

“We need to move out.” Hunter urged as he got back to his feet and put his helmet on. “A firefight will draw too much attention.”

“No time.” You stated simply as you pulled your hood and mask back up.

“We’ve got more incoming!” Wrecker confirmed as he lowered his helmet and opened fire on the small squad of troopers that had arrived.

The three of you took cover behind a skip, only firing defensive shots back. You needed to draw the soldiers closer before going on the offensive.

When they had gotten close enough, Hunter threw a smoke bomb, the action allowing the three of you to advance and take out the troopers one shot at a time.

As the firefight continued, however, you began to feel unsteady on your feet and your movements felt unbalanced. Your tingling limbs ensured that your aim was skewed too. All that, combined with the wetness you felt pooling from your stomach meant the trooper had better aim than you credited them for- you’d been hit. You couldn’t afford to think about what this meant, right now, you needed to get outta here.

But you’d been distracted long enough for one downed soldier you’d dismissed as being a threat to come around and jab their blaster against your knee. You grunted with the impact but turned your blaster on him and he lay limp on the ground.

Hunter and Wrecker tidied off the few retreating stragglers. They could deal with this small group but anything more would prove difficult.

With the last trooper taken care of, you braced yourself against the wet wall. The fading adrenaline in your system now being replaced by agony and you ripped your mask down and took deep but laboured breaths.

“Their reinforcements won’t be long. We made a bit of noise.” Wrecker said as he holstered his blaster.

But Hunter wasn’t paying attention to what Wrecker was saying. His gaze was fixed on you and the way you were struggling to hold yourself up against the wall. “(Y/N), what-” He stopped as he saw the crimson drops that mixed with the rainwater drip from the hand pressed to your stomach onto the ground. No, no, no. He thought to himself. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t lose you when he’d only just found you again.

Your knees buckled and you fell to the ground, Hunter catching your shoulder was the only reason you were able to stay sitting up but without the distraction of the fight, the pain was overwhelming. Black spots danced in the corners of your vision, but you couldn’t succumb to them, not now. Not after all this. You tried to lift your head to speak but all that left your mouth was a tortured groan.

As collected as he wanted to be to deal with this, he couldn’t totally keep his panic at bay. His hands trembled as he attempted to get you to look at him. He delicately brushed some loose strands of hair from your face. “Sshh, I’ve got you.” He whispered tenderly, fighting to keep the worry out of his voice. What made it all the worse was that he knew this wound didn’t occur through the fight they’d just seen out, you’d been hurt shoving him out the way of that first shot that drew the rest of the stormtroopers in.

How could he have allowed this to happen? What good were his enhanced senses if he couldn’t protect the people he loved. You shouldn’t have needed to push him out the way of that blaster bolt, he should’ve known the trooper was there and now you were paying the price for his mistake.

“What can we do?” Wrecker asked quickly.

You winced and tried for words again. “Medical centres are a no. Where’s- where’s the ship?”

“Landing bay 6.” Wrecker replied.

You inhaled sharply. Your current state made things all too easy for the Imperials to catch you making your way there. “Too far. We- we gotta get to my place. She- she might kill me but- argh!” You broke off with a cry of pain as you reached a hand up to Hunter. “But it’s safe there and- and she’ll know what to do.”

“Hold on.” Hunter rasped as he took a grip of your forearm and signalled to Wrecker to keep an eye out as he pulled you to your feet.

You pressed your hand into your side with a pained gasp as Hunter put his arm around you and supported most of your weight and the three of you got on the move.

--

“This is it?” Wrecker asked- his scepticism evident despite the pressing matter at hand- as he stared at the condemned building.

“All the regular penthouses were taken.” You kidded before you swayed on your feet as a wave of dizziness struck.

“Woah, easy.” Hunter cautioned as he strengthened his grip.

“Second floor.” You hissed. “And mind the fourth step on the second staircase. Half of it is missing.”

“It can never just be simple.” Hunter grumbled anxiously as Wrecker opened the decrepit door to the building.

“Would it really be a reunion if everything went well?” You joked deliriously.

“Right now, yes I would definitely prefer it.” Hunter fretted as he saw your head dip. You were losing the battle of staying conscious with each passing second. The next time it happened, he wasn’t sure you would be able to lift your head again.

--

Lyra had barely any time to process the familiar people standing in her doorway as she answered the pounding knock. All she could do was stare at you, half collapsed against Hunter’s side, your hand cradling your stomach, and then her eyes caught sight of the trail of blood that had followed your path up. “What-”

“Hey, girl. Remember- remember how I promised I wouldn’t put you through something like this again? Turns out, I shouldn’t- shouldn’t have done that.” You said through gritted teeth before you stumbled as you tried to take a step forward, prompting Hunter to lift you up.

“Please.” The hoarse plea was all Hunter managed to say.

“Lay her here.” Lyra quickly stepped aside to let the three of you in and pointed to the couch.

Hunter hustled inside and delicately placed you on the worn soft. He took off his helmet and kneeled by your head and stroked your hair back from your forehead. “You’re going to be alright. You need to hold on for me, okay? I’m not losing you again.” He whispered against your temple before he left a light kiss on your brow.

“Good news, it’s not as bad as last time.” Lyra said as she examined the wound before getting up to go gather the medical supplies.

“The bar is rather low on that front, Lyra.” You moaned.

“Last time?” Hunter found himself asking as he tore his stare from your bloody injury to Lyra.

Lyra didn’t respond, she was too busy staring at the depleted supply of medical care. She took a deep breath and braced her hands against the countertop. “(Y/N)… what happened to the bacta?”

Seemingly forgetting that you were currently in severe pain and bleeding out, you went to prop yourself up but Hunter’s hand gently pushing against your shoulder stopped you. “Hey.” You protested wearily.

“You can answer the question like that.” Hunter chastised.

“The bacta?” Lyra pressed as she rifled through the other cupboards in case it had somehow been misplaced.

No, not yet. You told yourself as the black dots returned. You blinked them away and took a strained breath before you answered. “I- I may have given it away…”

“You-” Lyra had to take a deep, calming breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. “You gave it away? What in all the galaxy would possess you to do that?”

“Well, I saw someone in need and decided-” You broke off with another pained wince. “Decided to finally be a good citizen.”

Lyra released an exasperated sigh. “Do I need to remind you of your track record? You need bacta like the rest of us need water.”

“In my defence, I wasn’t planning on needing it anymore. This- this time really wasn’t my fault.”

“I quite frankly don’t give a fuck! You can’t just-”

“Can we do this later?” Hunter interrupted as he saw your face contort in discomfort. “Preferably when she’s able to hold a conversation without convulsing in pain?”

“I can run back to our ship and get some.” Wrecker offered as he lifted his helmet.

“Go.” Hunter said with a nod, but Lyra held out a hand to stop the bigger clone from going.

“She doesn’t have that kinda time. I can cauterise it the old-fashioned way, but it’ll just hurt like hell.” Lyra said with a grimace.

“That’s fine because I don’t think I’m going to be conscious for much longer.” The darkness encroaching on your vision was all too tempting and you were completely exhausted.

“No, you stay awake.” Lyra ordered sternly.

Hunter and Wrecker turned their attention sharply to you.

“Come on, (Y/N). You gotta hang in there.” Wrecker urged as he reached over the back of the couch and placed a large hand on your shoulder.

“Sweetheart, keep your eyes on me.” Hunter begged as he saw them flicker open and shut but it was a battle that he knew you were going to lose.

You wanted to; you really did but you just couldn’t. You shut your eyes and embraced the peace of the darkness.

 “Hunter, she’s still breathing right?” Lyra asked as she picked up the last few things she needed.

“Shallowly but yes.” Hunter said with a thankful sigh.

“That’s good enough.” Lyra ran back to the couch and began to start to process of stabilising you.

--

You were in a dim corridor. The only light seemed to at the end of the long passageway. You made to walk towards it, hoping it would show you a way out but as you walked, it seemed to move away from you. You broke into a run but the distance between you and the light only grew. You paused your run as you thought about what this could mean. It was then though that a voice spoke up and a figure appeared next to you.

You won’t get to it.

You faced the figure. It almost sounded and looked like you but there was something off about it. There was a yellow shimmer in the eyes and the face was gaunt and mean-looking, with lips that seemed to be in a permanent sneer. The voice carried a cruel, sinister overtone that made your blood run cold and the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

It’ll keep staying away from you.

But why? You studied whatever it was before you as they circled you. When it walked, it was cast in constant shadow.

You think after all you’ve done; you can have that light back? You think you deserve it?

Before you could form a reply, your attention was drawn to a scene unfolding to your right.

Aww this was your first failure. But it brought me to the surface, so I remain pretty grateful.

Your breath caught in your throat as you recognised the moment. You saw your master completely surrounded by battle droids, taking hit after hit. And you saw yourself as a Jedi Knight sprinting to reach him. You went to turn away, but a strong hand grabbed the back of your neck, forcing you to keep looking.

There’s you. Being too late to save him. Do you remember the last words you said to him?

You did and they were words you had regretted ever since.

‘Stubborn, foolish, out of touch, old timer whose only purpose was to be a pawn for the orders of the Jedi Council’ I believe they were.

Stop it.

He died knowing you failed him.

You squeezed your eyes shut as you heard the final shot that sent your master crumbling to the ground.

You got a taste for it then.

Despite the fact you wanted to refuse, you found yourself opening your eyes to seeing yourself utterly decimate the remaining droids by your master’s dead body. You saw the merciless gleam in your eyes and the callous smile that graced your face as you destroyed them. You had enjoyed that. The scene finished with you repeatedly bringing your lightsaber down on the final droid, the blue blade moving in unrestrained fury. Why did you show me that? You asked bleakly.

But the darkness didn’t give you a proper answer. It only pushed an icy finger on your lips. Pay attention, we’re not done yet. It took you a while to accept that this was always in you. You worked on shutting me out. You managed for a while… but then she left.

You wanted nothing more than to leave this place and this darkness before you, but all control had been taken from your body. Your feet began moving of their own accord and you were directed to another moment on your left this time. You were stopped and the hand took a harsh grip of your neck again. You were forced to watch Ahsoka walk out the Council Chamber doors, with Anakin following her and then you viewed yourself in horror as you saw the rage written across your face and heard the venom in your words as you yelled at the Council. Had you really been that uncontrolled? That angry?

Even though you finally left those uptight pricks, you still insisted on keeping me hidden though. Rather irritating I must say. I wondered what it would take for you to accept me. And then he came into your life.

You were pushed along the hall again to the next part which was replaying your first interaction with Hunter and your chest felt tight. Leave him out of this.

Oh, but he’s the best part. Your figure taunted nastily.

The scene switched and were now being greeted with flashes of your intimate moments with Hunter. Enough.

The only reply came in the form was an unkind laugh.

Giving into that lust felt good, didn’t it? The possessiveness, the selfishness that came with having someone just for you was too enticing to pass up.

No, that wasn’t what it was at all. Stop.

You liked the feeling of knowing you could use that attachment to excuse any darker actions. You would be doing it for him, so it made it okay. It wasn’t love for him you were feeling, it was a love for the freedom to channel me that you craved. He was merely a convenient vessel.

No, you’re wrong! You insisted but your voice lacked conviction, everything was getting so twisted that you were now doubting the feelings you thought you never would.

The darkness just gave you a pitying look. Just keep watching and you’ll see I’m right.

So, you did. You were shoved further up the corridor to see you and the Batch together. Memories that you once would’ve looked back on in fondness were now tainted by pain and disappointment that you’d dragged them into your mess. The darkness took no notice of your distress, it just continued talking.  

Much to my delight, you grew to care for all of that group. I knew that attachment would lead to something marvellous for us and then it finally happened.

You moved along to the next scene and your breathing grew uneven as the image of Eriadu appeared. You couldn’t bear seeing this again but once more, you were left with no choice but to hear Tech say that dreaded plan and watch him fall to his death.

Of course, he was another one you were too slow to save but-

You wouldn’t hear this. No, we didn’t have the time. There was nothing I could’ve done. What happened was-

Oh, I know you tried telling yourself that, but my very existence tells me that you know if you’d allowed me in earlier, the situation itself wouldn’t have happened. You’d have killed Gerrera before he even had a chance to set those explosives off.

No, you’re wrong. You said through a shaken whisper, but you didn’t believe the words you were saying anymore.

Although I must say, I’m glad you didn’t quite give in then since I am rather pleased with how it all turned out. His death was the catalyst to a glorious chain of events. So much loss and broken trust. Finally, you had the reason to welcome me without restraint or regret.

You felt your anger rise as the voice kept talking whilst the scene changed from his death to Cid’s betrayal and Omega being captured and you being separated from Hunter. Nothing about that had been a blessing. It couldn’t have been. Shut up. You snarled. But the figure only smugly beamed.

There it is. There’s that power. You can deny it all you want but that was the best thing that happened to you. You let me in and from that point on, nothing stopped you getting what you wanted. And it felt divine. You know it did. Look at how formidable you are with me being a part of things.

You were dragged along the hall and all that appeared around you were the people in the galaxy you’d threatened, brutalised, and murdered. You had no other option but to watch and hear their tortured pleas and screams. You didn’t need the darkness to talk you through these this time, you recalled very clearly that during all of this, you’d felt not one bit of remorse. You’d thought they deserved it. You’d fallen so far, and a way back now seemed impossible.  

The darkness commented on a particular time where you were torturing a woman who’d been very difficult to track and get information from. Even when you did find her, she’d been loyal to the Empire, insisting you should’ve died with the rest of the Jedi traitors. You’d responded by cracking the individual bones in her fingers and hands before moving up to the bones in her arm. You’d broken her right clavicle before she’d finally told you what you needed to know. I particularly liked this moment. Do you remember how she couldn’t stand afterwards? All she could do was writhe on the floor in agony. Quite a humorous sight.

You remembered them all and it made you feel sick to your stomach now as you watched the endless stream of tormented and pained faces of people you had tortured and killed in your quest for information.

The last scene disappeared and despite the fact you had been walking along the corridor that whole time, the light had still remained far out of reach.

See? No matter how far you go, you’ll never reach that light. Why bother searching for it anymore? You know you’re better off alone. All you need is this power and you’ll be unstoppable. But since I know some part of you still cares for your clones, don’t trouble them with this. It’s not something that can be shared or fixed.  

The figure faded and you collapsed to your knees in defeat. You had succumbed to that darkness and hurt and killed too many people. You’d crossed that line, and you weren’t sure there was a way back for you and you wouldn’t take Hunter down with you. Or Wrecker and Echo. They deserved a chance to rescue Omega and set things right, and if being with Hunter meant that chance would be at risk, you wouldn’t take that from them. Even if it would kill you, it would be the last thing you did to protect your family. ‘No attachments. There is no emotion, there is peace.’ You had to finally listen to that part of the Jedi Code that you had fought against for years and… and you would let them go.

--

Once it seemed things were more under control, Wrecker broke the quiet. “I’m going to go keep watch.” He said before walking out.

There were a few minutes of silence, the only noise being the quiet hiss of Lyra sealing shut your injury now that she’d cleaned it.

“Didn’t know you had this skill set.” Hunter said into the quiet as he watched Lyra.

“I tell myself it’s not so different from stitching and making clothes. Plus, she kinda made it that I had to learn quick. There were just some things she couldn’t handle on her own.”

There was a dip in conversation again.

“I was sorry to hear about your kid... and Tech.” Lyra said quietly as she worked on you. She placed a bandage over your now closed injury and started to put away the medical supplies.

The mention of his brother’s name had him stiffening his posture. “Yeah, well, we’re going to find her.”

Lyra nodded understandingly before she indicated to you. “She’s been non-stop since Ord Mantell. She wouldn’t rest until she found you. Didn’t matter how dangerous things got, she wouldn’t stop.”

Hunter continued to stroke your brow. “She’s not the only one.”

“I almost wished she would. I thought the search was going to kill her. Especially after what happened last time.”

This wasn’t the first time she’d mentioned this now. And from the dynamic between the two of you since arriving here, he figured there was key subtext he was missing. He glanced over to Lyra. “What are you talking about?”

Lyra took a short breath. “It was a few weeks ago. She-” Lyra stopped as she heard you let out a soft groan.

“Hey you.” Hunter said softly as you slowly opened your eyes. “How are you feeling?”

You didn’t answer him. Whatever soreness you were experiencing wouldn’t come close to the misery your next course of action would cause you. “Thank you. Again.” You said to Lyra instead.

Lyra nodded. “I’ll go keep Wrecker company.” She said before grabbing her sniper rifle and making her exit.

Hunter brought his focus back to you and provided a supportive hand on your back as you sat up. “Take as long as you need. I figured once you’re feeling more up to it, you can say your goodbyes and leave with us. After-”

“You have to go.”

“Yes, I know…” Hunter said, tilting his head at you. “But you need a bit of time and-”

“No, you need to leave without me.”

Without you? No, you couldn’t mean that. “What’s-” He stopped for a moment to try and recover from the confusion your statement caused him. “What’s changed between that alleyway and now?”

You knew he wasn’t going to make this easy but every minute you had to do this was tearing you apart. “Everything has. The Empire knows what I am. It’ll add unnecessary heat.”

“We’ll cope.”

You swallowed harshly and grimaced as you readjusted your sitting position. “It’s not just that. Things changed when we got separated. I changed.”

“That doesn’t scare me.”

“It should. All I’ve done…” You trailed off and gulped. “I’m not who I used to be.”

 “I’ve done things I’m not proud of too. But we can-”

 “Hunter, I don’t belong with you anymore.”

Hunter couldn’t accept that. “You’re one of us. You always have been. Since the first moment you stepped in front of those droids on Devaron, you were one of us. I don’t understand why-”

“There’s someone else.” You blurted out and fuck you hated yourself for it. You knew by the way he recoiled from you and from deep hurt and betrayal that flashed across his face, you would’ve been better off hitting him. You knew you had to hurt him. Even if he left hating you, you could find a way to let him go. But you hated that you had to do it.

“There’s someone else.” Hunter repeated quietly, his throat bobbing as he kept his voice tight.

You had to push it. It was the only way, but it felt like your heart was being ripped out of your chest as you said the next words. You forced yourself to keep your voice cold and level. “I’ve moved on. I only needed to know that you were alive. And now I do. You can go now. Just leave and don’t think about me again. It’ll save us all a lot of bother.” You couldn’t face the wounded look in his eyes and you turned your own away from him and had to blink away the tears that threatened to fall.

Hunter clenched his jaw and swallowed thickly. “Look me in the eye and tell me that again.” He implored.

He knew you too well. You wouldn’t do it. If you did, he would know you were lying. So, you opted for something worse- you would manipulate his heart. “If any part of you still cares about me, you will go. That’s all I want now. I need you to leave. You’ll only be hurting me more if you stay.” You said firmly as you faced him again.

You sounded so sure, and even if he thought he could see something in your eyes that took the conviction out of your words, he’d never want to cause you pain, he wouldn’t be able to stand it. Better him be the one to take the hurt, no matter how unnatural it felt, no matter how much every fibre of his being yearned to stay by your side and work this out. So, Hunter got to his feet and walked over to the door. “Every part of me still cares about you.” He murmured back to you before the door opened and he walked out. He was walking out on you- something he thought he’d never do- and it left him feeling like he had a gaping hole in his chest.

--

As you heard the door shut, a broken sob left your lips and you let the tears fall.

--

“Where is she?” Lyra asked as Hunter came out from the door behind them.

“Keep her alive.” Hunter said numbly to Lyra before he walked away.

“Hunter-” Lyra started to say but the clone wasn’t stopping.

“Eh, well, I guess it was nice to see you.” Wrecker said hurriedly before he darted after his brother.

“Bye.” Lyra said with confusion as she watched the two clones go. She turned to go back inside and hopefully knock some sense into you.

--

You’d managed to drag yourself into the sanctity of your room, but the isolation wasn’t helping things. The regret you were feeling was overwhelming but what was done was done. You needed to stand by your choice, it was what was best for them, you just needed to learn how to cope. You needed something, anything, to distract your brain from the self-doubt running rampant in your head so, staying mindful of your wound, you tentatively sat back on your bed and closed your eyes, drowned out the pouring rain smacking against the glass, and found your centre again.

Not to your surprise, you were only surrounded by darkness. You’d let the last light in your life go, there was nothing left for you now.

Spark.

Not that voice. Not again, you couldn’t handle that. “No, I’m not doing this.”

Yes, you are. You need to listen to me, Spark.

You sighed and saw the figure of your old master appear in the vast space before you. “So, either I somehow took a turn and I’m dead or I’m hallucinating.”

Your master simply chuckled. Must it always be extremes with you?

“You taught me what I know, you tell me.”

Well, based off your past choices, I would say you’ve forgotten much of what I taught you.

“This is why you’re in my head? To lecture me about my choices? Yes, I broke the code, big whoop. I never liked it anyway. And now I’ve given into the dark side, sorry to have disappointed you.” You grumbled as you looked down at your feet.

He sighed. It hurt him to see you look so defeated, this wasn’t the young Jedi he’d raised. Evidently, you were going to need more help than he expected. This isn’t some meditative trick. I’ve always been with you, Spark, and now I’m with you because you need help. You’ve strayed from your path, and you need guidance.

“You’re a few months too late, Master.” The title came back into your vocabulary so naturally, you’d nearly missed the fact that you’d reverted back to your student/teacher dynamic so quickly.

That defeat you’re feeling is exactly why I’m here now. This dark side you seem to think is your destiny is not decided, but if you continue to stand by the decision that you just made, it will be. There’s a chance for you, Spark, don’t throw it away.

You couldn’t bring yourself to believe him. “If you’ve truly been around for all of this, you’ll know what I’ve done. You’ve seen what I’ve become. I wasn’t as strong I thought I was.”

You haven’t fallen yet. He reiterated. What you’ve gone through would wreck most people, the fact that you’ve only strayed from the light now is a credit to you. But this choice you’ve made to let them go is what will seal your fate.

“What are you talking about? I was on this path long before what happened on Ord Mantell. I saw it!” You said, your voice rising in frustration and distress. Why was everyone around you so insistent that you could heal from this? You’d shown your true colours years ago, you were only doing what you were obviously meant for.

He raised his hands to calm you. Spark, listen to me. You’re not-

“I had to let him go! I had to let them all go! You should be glad, Master! I’m finally following the teaching you worked so hard on getting through to me!” Your breathing grew more uneven and the word that left your mouth were filled with self-loathing, but you couldn’t stop them. “I’m damaged goods, I have been from the beginning, and I couldn’t bring him down with me! I couldn’t bring any of them down with me!” You felt tears slide down your cheeks as the emotion you had been trying to hard to push down came crashing to the surface.

And is letting attachments go part of the Jedi or Sith philosophy? He asked gently.

His genteel manner caught you off guard. You huffed out a quick breath. “Why does that matter?”

Answer the question, please.

You released an agitated sigh. “Jedi, I guess but-”

And let me ask you this, you said you saw what you’ve done? How?

You regained some composure. “I don’t know how to describe what it was I saw, but whatever it was took me down a lovely stroll through memory lane and I saw what I was. There’s no denying it now.”

It was starting to make sense to him now and with this new understanding, he finally knew the best way to help you. Yes, the dark side can be very manipulative that way. Especially when it knows there’s been pain plenty of pain and sorrow. It preys upon that and I’m just sorry it got to you before I could.

“What are you talking about?”  

What you saw, it wasn’t the whole truth.

Not the whole truth? “What do you mean?”

He looked at you with intrigue. What do you think I mean?

You inhaled deeply to find some patience. “Master, please. I’m not your padawan anymore.”

He bowed his head in acknowledgement. You’ll always be my padawan, Spark. But I understand this may not be the best time for one of my lessons.

Despite everything, the nostalgia his teaching persona brought you had you humming out a quiet laugh. “I guess working together on whatever cryptic lesson you’re going to impart on me will be fine, for old times sake if nothing else. Just don’t leave it all to me. I’m not clear-headed enough to do all the thinking.”

He nodded and smiled knowingly at you. It will be less cryptic that the lessons I used to give you. Let us begin.

You knew that gleam in his eye and you forgot that no matter how agitated or frustrated you’d been growing up as his pupil, he’d always found a way to put you at ease and you’d been more open to learning again. Even dead, he still seemed to possess that ability. And it was because of that, you found yourself getting ready to welcome whatever wisdom he felt could get you out of this hell you’d put yourself in.

Now, I understand that you are feeling a lot of guilt and self-loathing, correct?

Feeling it? You felt like you were drowning in it.

And you have convinced yourself that your clones, particularly… Hunter, isn’t it? He waited for your nod before continuing, are better off without you because you’ve done too much. Stepped over that line one too many times? A lost cause, yes?

“I guess you could say that.” You mumbled.

He hummed in thought before he spoke again. You mentioned something about you were this way from the beginning. Can you tell me to which beginning you are referring to?

You inhaled shakily. “I- I saw you die again. I watched myself destroy the rest of those droids in undisciplined rage and- and I was reminded of what I’d said to you.”

Ah yes, that was quite the day. Rather humiliating on my part, I must say. I should’ve just listened to you from the start. My we exchanged some choice words. He ruminated with a small chuckle.

You remembered him having a rather dry sense of humour, but this just seemed absurd. You’re laughing about this?! I was awful to you! I saw you die and all I could do was wreak havoc on a group of droids and I enjoyed it! I held your dead body in my arms and the last thing I had done was insult you and forget everything you’d taught me for some fucking battle droids!”

He held up his hands to appease you. You’re right, I shouldn’t have laughed but that wasn’t quite how it went.

You furrowed your brow. “What? I saw it! I remember it pretty clearly, even without the reminder. I’m haunted by it and you’re telling me that wasn’t what happened?!”

He shook his head. Not quite. Remember, the dark side has a remarkable ability to alter events to fit its needs. It only picks out the moments necessary to draw out those darker emotions. What you saw was true, from a certain point of view, but it didn’t show you everything.

“Then what am I missing?” You asked, desperation in your voice because if there was anything that could help ease the ache from that day, you needed it.

I wasn’t dead when I hit the ground. Fret not, no amount of medical attention would’ve saved me. He interjected hastily as he saw the panic that graced your face. Although the sadder truth is I did in fact die in your arms but… He angled his head to catch your eye again as you had shied away from him upon hearing that. He started again, but your last words to me were not fuelled by irritation or cruelty, you apologised for what you said as well as how you handled those droids. You told me that I was the best teacher you’d ever had, and you promised you would continue to work on what I taught you and to make me proud. That was the last thing you said to me before I passed on. And I can honestly say, Spark, that you kept your promise, despite how it might seem currently.

You went to speak but found that you didn’t have the words. All these years spent being tormented by a memory that in fact had another side to it, could that be right? Seeing it again had made it seem all the more true but there was nothing but sincerity in his face and voice as he told you this. He wasn’t looking to feed you a false narrative, there was no vindictiveness in his tone.

You don’t have to believe me immediately, I know things have been tough but we’re going to go through this and I’m going to help you see the truth, okay? He said tenderly.

You could only nod.

Okay. He straightened up. I’m going to make an educated guess and say that if that incident was the starting point, the next situation would’ve been that unfortunate time with Ahsoka and the Jedi Council and also the day you decided to leave?

You gulped and found your voice again. “Um, yeah.”

And I expect you were shown yourself in an untamed rage with little concern over the words you used?

You gave a stiff nod of your head.

Uh huh, well, once again, you were shown a manipulated memory created from shame. You were unhappy, and I can’t say I blame you, they really fucked that up if you pardon the phrase.

You couldn’t help but snort at his gentlemanly manner and you were reminded of the many telling offs for language you’d received growing up.

And while you were disappointed in them and frustrated, you never lost control of yourself. Your voice was raised but level. You were clear in your points, and you never said anything untoward save for some unsavoury language sprinkled in. He watched you impart the familiar eye roll as he said that last statement, but he took that as a positive sign. Your attachment to Ahsoka didn’t cloud your judgment, your decision to leave was made with a steady heart and a focused head. And I watched you do it and I knew it was the best decision for you. It did set things in motion, but they were good things for you, Spark, and it’s important that you realise that again. He looked at you earnestly.

You held his gaze, and, in his eyes, you saw the master that had been with you through thick and thin. The master that had put up with your questions and doubts about the Jedi Order that the Jedi Council could hardly tolerate. You saw the master that had mentored you and fought by your side for years. He was one of the people that had known you best. He wouldn’t lie to you, and you felt your heart opening up to what he was saying to you.

Shall we continue? He asked after giving you a minute to process.

You shook your shoulders and exhaled heavily before you looked at him and give him a single, firm nod.

--

He had taken you through various events bit by bit. Pointing out that elements that demonstrated you were still being pulled towards the light. Things like you would’ve either left or killed Lyra the second she’d gotten you out of Ord Mantell and her use was over. Things like you wouldn’t have offered so many opportunities for people to talk to you before you injured or killed them, you would have hurt them first and asked questions later- killing and pain had never been your first port of call. And any firefight that ensued, when possible, you made sure you remained the primary target and civilians would be out of harms way.

Concern for others and worry about the consequences of your actions… Sith and dark side users tend not to feel or allow for these things. He surmised.

Even if what he was revealing to you was the whole picture, there was still the pressing matter of how you’d been in the recent months. “But Eriadu and everything that followed after… I let something in, what was it if not the dark side?”

He gave you a sympathetic smile. You had never experienced loss and betrayal in such quick succession before. What you let in was the anger and anguish you were feeling which you weren’t trained to handle properly. The more you went on, the more those emotions twisted your brain which allowed the darkness to creep in and make it more effortless to act on said emotions. It was easier for you to get what you needed with your emotions being what they were, and you didn’t have to think about who was getting hurt. You got a rather bad case of tunnel vision- you were doing bad things for good reasons, but they were not senseless acts of violence.

“But I have done so many bad things.” You said with self-directed disgust.

Yes, but what you can do now is work towards finding that line again. To finding that control you had in the past. You’ve been on that path since this morning, the self-awareness of what you’ve been doing wasn’t present in the months before today. However, you cannot get back to that place alone anymore, you’ve changed since you left the Order and most of it was for the better, but more attachment means more support. You will not be able to find that balance if you let your family go. He said with a sense of urgency. He needed you to grasp what he was telling you, no matter how unnatural it might feel.

Your pulse quickened. Surely, he wasn’t suggesting what you thought he was? “What are you saying, Master?”

Do you know where your nickname originated?

Confused as you why this was suddenly relevant, you angled your head at him. “I always figured it was because word spread that I made my lightsaber slightly wrong the first time and nearly set it on fire when I first ignited it.”

He chortled. That acted more as a visual aid and a helpful addition to the true origin.

“Then where did it come from?”

He took a deep breath. In the weeks leading up to the time for us to choose a youngling to take under our wing, you caught my eye from the start. It wasn’t just your natural ability with a lightsaber or your quick grasp of the Force, it was how you interacted with the people around you. During the trials, you had a heightened care for how the others were performing and you aided them whenever you could without a second thought. It made you more focused, more effective. You were unique from your peers in that sense and in a way that I’d never seen before, and I knew I had to get to know you more to understand what it was I was picking up on.

“Yeah, I remember. I’d never expected someone to choose me so eagerly, especially since my disciplinary record was far from perfect, even at that age.” Youreminisced with a sigh.

Yes, my fellow Jedi were surprised at my decision, but there was just something within you I had to see for myself. As we got to understand each other and I could officially begin your training, I watched you continue to demonstrate this quality and I could feel it residing in the Force within you. You had this spark, this fire that drove you which would worry even the most disciplined Jedi Masters but with you, it was as much a part of you as the Force was with the rest of us. You were completely at peace with it, and it was something you probably didn’t realise was so rare. You could feel attachment without rejecting the light side of the Force to do so.

So, the name made a bit more sense after all these years, but you still couldn’t see why this was being brought up. “Okay…”

He could tell you were still hesitant to all this. Do you know which General had the most victories with the fewest casualty numbers? Quite a feat to have during war time I might add.

You huffed a heavy breath from your lips. “I have no idea. The war was such a mess and there were so many of us that it was hard to keep up with the results of each battle.”

Fair point. He conceded, but that doesn’t change the answer which is that it was you.

You were taken aback for a moment before you thought back to that period and part of it did make sense. Many of your strategies had seen you take on the most dangerous elements for the sake of the clones in your battalion despite protests from them, your master and pretty much everyone that was involved, but all that mattered to you was that they worked, and you did what you could to protect everyone else.

He knew you enough to recognise that face and he figured whatever it was you were thinking about would relate to his next question. And which General had the most visits to the medical wing? Another impressive award. He added with a hint of disapproval, his mask of control slipping slightly as he frowned at the memories of the countless notifications he’d receive of your admittance to the healing wards of the Jedi Temple.

You cringed as you remembered the fact you had been on a first name basis with all the medical personnel. “I did.”

He nodded. Attachments didn’t bring you down, they lifted you up. Their most negative consequence in that period seemed to be the recklessness they gave you- and my hair greying faster than I would’ve liked. He couldn’t help but say before he continued, but they didn’t unbalance you like they did most of us. And it is on that point my dear Spark, that I failed you.

“Failed me?” In what galaxy could he have possibly failed you when you were the one that had forgone all you stood for and was one slip away from total self-destruction.

When it became clear to me that this was indeed one of your best qualities and strengths, I was thrilled! It presented a challenge for me as you Master that I was looking forward to exploring! Your emotional attachment to people and causes was one I wanted to teach you to manage, not forbid. Your love and care didn’t make you more susceptible to the dark side and its dangers, it drew you closer to the light. That fire that burns within you isn’t a threat, it’s your way to become something greater. But the Council… He trailed off with a regretful sigh. They rejected my proposal that I mentor you in this way. So instead, as you got older, I worked on forcing you to dampen that flame within you but- He stopped for a moment and chuckled wryly. As you may remember, that was when the root of our conflicts started. Foolishly and rather selfishly-and this is an example of how even those of us that followed the Jedi Code to the letter slip from time to time- you passing your trials into Knighthood gave me profound relief. Not only did it mean I could see you become the Jedi you were always meant to be, but it meant my duty as your teacher was over and I could stop doing something I was against. But I shied away too much and stopped teaching you altogether, had I just been less of a ‘pawn of the Council’ as you quite rightly put it, what you’re experiencing now could have been avoided.

You took a moment to let his words sink in, but you wouldn’t let him blame himself for how you’d behaved in recent times. “I still made the choices to hurt those people, Master. You’re not responsible for my actions.”

Perhaps not, but I could’ve done more to make sure you were better equipped to deal with the loss attachment could bring rather than just tell you to stop feeling it altogether. Not that you listened to that anyway. He added with a slight grin.

You allowed yourself half a smile at that before his face turned sombre again.

But I should’ve stood up for you and for that I’m sorry.

You bowed your head in acceptance of his apology. “But what does all of what we’ve talked about have to do with where I am now?”

Everything I’ve shown you, everything you’ve felt in these recent months illustrates someone who had to cope with a tremendous amount of grief when they had been told their whole life to not feel or get attached. Even with your strength and abilities, Spark, that was a big ask, your actions, and the internal conflict you’re going through is an understandable outcome. But even in dealing with that struggle, you were never purely evil or sought to abandon your Jedi teachings. The only time I grew truly worried before now was whatever you did a few weeks ago. Even I couldn’t see you; it was like the very light around you was getting snuffed out. Care to tell me what you did?

You shook your head adamantly.  

Very well. As I was saying, all you’ve learned, all you’ve done and means you can heal from this. You are not a lost cause, not a source of darkness and despair. You are good at heart, Spark!

But Master, I-

No, don’t talk yourself out of this. Really think about what I’m telling you. You never abandoned Lyra, you did your best to ensure no civilian would be caught up in your fights, you offered chances to those people before you hurt them. And you were able to sense Hunter and Wrecker arrive. That source of light wouldn’t have shown itself if you were too far down that dark path.

Maybe so but-

He wouldn’t let you second guess yourself anymore. And when you realised that they were indeed on this planet… what did you do first?

You pondered for a moment before you remembered. I helped those sisters.

And when you found one another, you felt alive and hopeful again but because you’d been lost and confused for so long, it got manipulated into that guilt and regret and hurt you are experiencing right now that has left you exposed to this darkness. But before that, you were ready to free yourself of it, whether you truly realised it or not.

“Right…” You said distantly as you were slowly starting to understand what revelation he was guiding you towards.

I can see you working it out, you’re almost there. He encouraged.

Each lesson and aspect of this entire conversation began to click into place. “So, you’re saying that Hunter’s my light? He’s my way out of this?” You uttered quietly.

Isn’t he? He challenged with a supportive smile. And I believe he too made that fact very clear before you sent him away.

“I thought that was what I was supposed to do.” You said in dismay as your mind finally began to listen to what your Master had been telling you and you gained some proper clarity. What had you done?

He looked at you fondly. You were always a bad student when it came to applying and learning the history of our Code, it would fit that the first time you apply the philosophy to your life would be the poorer choice. They never unbalanced you, Spark. At the very least, they’re your way of staying true to the light side and your dark side knew that, hence it’s enthusiastic efforts to turn you.

You hid you head in your hands in embarrassment. You wouldn’t know a right decision if it smacked you in the face.  

Oh, and with regards to Cid and Hemlock, I leave that side of things entirely up to you, with your family by your side, I know punishing them however you like won’t ruin you.

“Thanks, Master.” You replied, a smile in your voice.

Not every Jedi gets the chance at a family, Spark, don’t throw it away now.

You glanced up in time to see him fade away but what was around you wasn’t pure darkness anymore; rays of light had broken into the gloomy space, with more fighting to get through.

--

You opened your eyes sharply and wiped away the damp residue of the tears that had escaped your eyes from your cheeks. He was right, they were the light in your life, and you’d been so stupid to let them go.

Ignoring the lingering pain of your injury, you hastily got to your feet, grabbed a couple bags of credits, and left your room only to be greeted by the disappointed and unhappy face of Lyra. “Hey, I was just-”

“You need to go after them. I’m sorry but I’m drawing the line here. I have not watched you put yourself through hell and risk your life month after month to find your family again only for you to throw it away for some stupid, fucked up, self-sabotaging reason! If you let them go, it will destroy you and as someone else who cares about you, I cannot allow you to do that! They’re your family, you need them, and they need you. And your kid needs you, you can’t just stop! And Hunter… that man is so in love with you it’s sickening, and you are as equally disgustingly in love with him! Whatever is holding you back, the two of you can get through together!”

“Lyra-” But she held up a finger to stop you.

“And you don’t need to worry about me, I will be fine. I’ll get a job and might even find a place that’s not a condemned building to live. You have to go!” She finished with a nervous exhale as she awaited your reaction.

“You’re right.” You agreed.

“Yeah, I am and- wait… what?” Lyra stared at you, shocked.

“I’m going after them.”

“You are?” She double checked.

“Yup.”

“Oh, thank fuck!” Lyra exclaimed before she darted forward and wrapped you up in her arms.

“How long were you coming up with that speech?” You kidded as the two of you hugged.

“For however long you were holed up in your room.” Lyra said with a laugh. “And in case you didn’t listen to that, I had my rifle set to stun and was fully prepared to drag you.”

“Glad we could avoid that.” You replied drily. “Also, ‘sickeningly in love?’” You quoted.

“I meant that as a compliment. Most people can only dream of that.”

You managed a short laugh. “I was an ass to you.” You mumbled shamefully.

“You were, but you were going through a lot.” Lyra said kindly as she removed herself from your hold.

“I was broken and hurting but that wasn’t an excuse to treat you how I did and I’m so sorry. I’m truly grateful for you and your friendship and well, just everything you’ve done for me. I won’t ever forget it. There are some spare bags of credits from those jobs I pulled whilst we were on the move in my bedside drawer, take them. And if there’s anything, and I mean anything you need, I will be there. You only have to get in touch.” You passed her the details of the Marauder’s comm channel.

“Go get ‘em.” Lyra said with a grin.

You gave her one last quick hug before you ran out the door, concern for your injury was pushed far to the back of your mind. You only prayed to the Force that you hadn’t left it too late.

--

“But I still don’t understand why we’re going without her. What you’ve said makes no sense.” Wrecker questioned as he followed Hunter up and down the Marauder as he got stuff ready for take-off.

“Not my problem, Wrecker. I don’t really want to relive it all again so that it makes sense to you.” Hunter said gruffly as he avoided making eye-contact with his brother and instead focused on keeping himself busy.

“She met someone else and you’re basically doing the whole ‘if you love someone you let them go?’”

“I guess that about sums it up.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Wrecker-”

“I’m sorry, Sarge, but it’s true.”

“You weren’t there. You didn’t hear her.”

“She can’t have meant it! She still has your insignia, if there was someone else, why would she keep that?!”

“Wrecker, drop it.” Hunter said sharply. His brother’s insistence that you were making all this up was only rubbing salt in the wound.

“We’re really just going to leave and forget about her?”

“Yup.”

Wrecker just couldn’t accept that. “If you love someone, you fight for them! Otherwise, what’s the point in what we’re doing right now, why should we bother going after Omega?”

Hunter paused his pacing by the doorway and released an exasperated sigh. “What do you expect me to do?”

Wrecker went to speak but changed his mind as to what he was going to say as he saw the figure in the background. “Actually, I don’t think you’ll have to do anything.” Wrecker said, looking past Hunter’s shoulder.

Hunter turned to follow his gaze and that was when he saw you. Standing in the torrential rain a few feet away from the steps to the Marauder, was you and you were obviously trying to catch your breath.

--

You started to speak before you caught your breath, so your words were leaving you in a desperate and winded manner. “I was always a bad student.” You raised your voice over the sound of the pouring way. You wiped some drops away from your face, a futile gesture given the intensity of the downpour, but the motion assisted in grounding you for this moment.

Hunter studied you from afar for a second, unsure as to why you’d started this way.

Sensing his uncertainty, you cleared your throat and started again but your words still spilled from your lips in a nervous ramble. “So, it turns out I was always a Jedi who developed attachments and love for people, but apparently that’s a pretty strong and unique quality and applying the Jedi philosophy of ‘letting attachment go’ is a mistake and- and it felt like one. I have such a poor grasp of that concept that even when I went to use it properly, I got it all wrong. I was always a terrible student but for once, for once in my life, I have never been more grateful for it.” Your voice quivered as you said these next words. “I love you! I love you so much it hurts but it’s the kind of hurt that I can’t imagine not having in my life. You, this team, are what keep me balanced and alive, and I was stupid to think letting you go was the solution to everything I have done!”

Hunter could feel his heart thundering in his chest as he listened to what you were saying.

“Finally seeing you again made me feel hope and brought a newfound sense of purpose in my life I didn’t think I’d have again but it got all twisted, I let it get all messed up! I saw you and Wrecker, and I felt that love again and it terrified me at first! I had been acting out and miserable for so long that I didn’t think I deserved to feel this way again or that I should burden you all with my past. I needed to be punished and this was the best way I could think of. I allowed whatever darkness that had been driving me for that period we were apart to convince me that you were better of alone and I had to say whatever I could to get that to happen and for that, I am sorry!” You were in full flow now, all the emotions you’d been supressing came crashing to the surface and for once, it actually felt good. You weren’t existing as a husk of armour anymore.

Hunter couldn’t stand the gap between you anymore and he got his feet in motion. He needed to be near you, he needed to hold you again. You didn’t seem to notice his movement though because you carried on talking.

“There was never anyone else, there could never be anyone else! You’re it for me and this-” You stopped and gestured to the half white skull insignia on your top layer. “When I had this and said that you were a part of me, I truly meant it! Even when we weren’t together, that feeling never faltered. Half my heart beats for myself and this family I was fortunate enough to find. The other half beats for you! You are so deeply engrained in my very being that when I didn’t have you, I could hardly call it living! And then I got you back, and I was flooded with all the emotions I’d been missing since that day we were separated, and they collided with everything I’d done wrong, and I just panicked! I entered self-sabotage mode and thought letting you out of my life was what I had to do! I ruined one of the few remaining good things in my life and was preparing myself to let it be so. Thankfully, it was pointed out to me just how incorrect I was and I’m sorry!”

Hunter kept slowly walking down the steps towards you, the heavy rain instantly cascading down his face and body, but he didn’t care. His sole focus was on you now and the words you were saying. The words that were now healing the open wound he’d had since leaving you in that run down apartment.

“I need to come back. I need to be with you and I’m sorry I got everything so wrong! I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, but you have to let me come back!”

“Yes.” He said as he continued to shorten the distance between you both.

“This family is the light of my life. You are the light of my life. So, either, let me come with you or just shoot me because without you, without this squad, I am just a shell of a human being and I’m done feeling like that now! You have to let me come back!”

“Yes.” Hunter said again as he stopped in front of you.

“And I-” You cut yourself off as you finally registered what he was saying and that the space between you both was now only a matter of inches. “Really?”

Hunter nodded and his hand fell to your waist whilst the other cradled the side of your face.

“I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.” You whispered softly as your hand rested on his now unarmoured chest and you got utterly absorbed in the feeling of his heart pounding beneath your fingertips- each beat emphasising that this was real, you were actually with him now- and you had no doubt that he could pick up on the way your own pulse was racing.

“It’s okay.” He breathed. “I love you too.”

“I love you.” You croaked out again as you felt the emotions rise in the back of your throat.

“You never stopped being a part of me either.” He murmured, his breathing heavy as his self-restraint was hanging by a thread, but he needed you to be sure. “Can I-” Hunter started to ask as he angled his head and slowly brought his lips closer to yours.

“Yes.” You cut him off. If he didn’t kiss you now, you felt as though you might stop breathing.

Hunter swiftly bridged the remaining distance and the dread he’d been experiencing at the idea of never finding you, at the idea of leaving you behind instantly evaporated in this moment as he finally placed his lips on yours.

You sighed into the sensation of experiencing this again and what began as hesitant and careful, soon became a kiss between two people fuelled by passion who had been apart for far too long and who would never be apart again. You wrapped your arms around him and pressed yourself against him.

Hunter first made sure he held you securely in his arms but as the kiss progressed and both of you became more immersed in feeling each other once more, his hands started caressing everything he could find. The actions elicited a small but desperate noise from you which he already felt drunk off of and he needed to hear more of you. The rain that had once felt like a harsh cascade of cold, damp water now felt gentle and tepid. He got utterly absorbed in your warmth and he tasted the water on your lips, but the interference didn’t bother him, he just relished the feeling of having you back in his embrace again.

You faintly registered the sun breaking through and the rain lightened in its deluge as you kissed him. If it wasn’t such a perfect moment, you might’ve laughed at the cliched nature of it all, but you were too caught up in this feeling that you ignored it. You threaded your fingers in his hair and lightly tugged, soliciting that raspy and familiar groan from him and your stomach fluttered at the feeling.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t ignore your current injury any longer and you felt it strain as Hunter held you tighter to him in response to your actions.

Hunter forced himself to pull away upon feeling your wince, his chest heaving as he worked on getting oxygen back into his lungs, but you interrupted his incoming question by continuing to plant light, affectionate kisses on the rest of his face and he couldn’t help the low but happy laugh that he let out. He lightly grabbed your shoulders and took a slight step back to take you in. The way the sun fell across your face had his breath catching in his throat. Your eyes were bright and looking at him with an adoration that he knew was reflected in his own gaze and the blissful smile on your lips beautifully captured the feelings of this moment. He rested a hand on the side of your face.

You looked into his own shining dark brown eyes and leaned into his touch with a soft and content sigh.

Hunter continued to slowly caress your cheek. “Not to disrupt your healing journey, but I have to ask… where do you stand on Cid and Hemlock?”

“Oh, don’t worry, they’re getting fucked up. I have permission on that front.” You said with a decisive nod. “I just have to watch the line with those that aren’t exactly personally involved.”

Not going to question where this permission came from exactly, he was just grateful whatever had happened, had brought you back to him so he just focused on the last part. “I can help with that. And you can look out for me too. We don’t have to do this alone anymore.”

You gave him an agreeing and grateful smile before you planted another tender kiss to his lips and grabbed his hand as the two of you walked back to the ship.

“This you officially back with us now?” Wrecker asked with a grin as you stepped aboard.

“You won’t be able to get rid of me.” You replied with a small smile as you gazed around you. There were times where you had felt uncertain as to whether you would stand amongst these comforting and familiar walls again, and your senses were flooded with the memories you had created and shared here. You swallowed harshly as you saw Omega’s and Tech’s spaces, but you regained your composure as you walked along the hallway. Your hand traced along the bunk you shared with Hunter and a soft sigh left your lips as you were instantly reminded of the slightly more personal moments you had experienced there.

It felt good to be home.

“Ready?” Hunter asked as you finished in the cockpit. He came beside you and wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you tight to him as Wrecker put the ship in hyperspace.

You nodded. “Let’s go get our girl.”

Next Oneshot>

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[raya-hunter01]

Not My Sister's Keeper Pt. 8

Roman X OC(Kara)

Jey Uso X OC (Tia)

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut; sex, fluff, couple arguing, Jealousy, infidelity, pregnancy

Roamn’s wife recently left medical school and returned home to save her marriage. Upon her return, she finds out things are not what they seem. Her sister is pregnant by her best friend Jey Uso, who is also Roman’s cousin, and her husband is acting suspicious.

What happens when a conversation overhead on a baby monitor blows her world apart?

Boston Medical Center

Two Weeks Later

Kara’s POV

“Kara, you gotta eat baby,” my mom pleaded as I sighed taking another bite of the soup she was feeding me.

“I just hate ya’ll gotta do all of this stuff for me,” I said feeling just discouraged and helpless.

“Don’t do that, what I told you last night?” Jey asked reaching over and wiping my tears.

“To let ya’ll help me,” I whispered as he took the food from my mom.

“Ma, gon’ check on the other one, I know you’re worried about her. I got Kara,” he said as my mom looked guilty.

“I wouldn’t make it back in time before visiting hours is over.”

“Mama, it’s ok go check on her,” I said as she sighed reaching over and giving me a hug.

“I’ll be back in the morning, they are going to transfer her from the jail to the hospital, I don’t want her to be alone,” she said as I nodded putting her mind at ease.

Even though deep down I wanted her to stay in jail not getting transferred to hospital for mental evaluation.

As soon as the door closed Jey and I shared a knowing look.

“A’ight gon’ let it out,” he said as I shook my head.

“What good would that do?”

“It may would help you feel better, you’ve been through a lot you need to talk Kara,” Jey said as I thought about how to even put into words how I felt.

“My sister almost killed me, and laughed over my body. I’ll never be ok with her Jey, and I don’t think mama can handle that.”

“Kara it ain’t for her to handle, I would be worried as fuck if you could be cool with everything that happened.”

“She’s going to try to get me to not press charges, I just know it,” I whispered as Jey sighed.

“I figured as much you’re both her daughters and she loves you both,” He said as I looked down at my chest.

“I stabbed her Jey, like I didn’t even second guess it-”

“Kara, she shot you, and was trying to kill you. I think anybody can understand that.”

“The lawyer said I would have to testify and so would Roman and Trin. I just want it to be done and over with,” I said as Jey sat down the bowl of soup.

“Trin is game if you are and even though I ain’t talked to Roman I know he will testify too. She can’t get away with this Kara. It’s gotta stop before someone gets killed. And I’ll be damned if that’s you,” he said as I burst into tears.

“I know,” I cried as Jey maneuvered himself in the bed carefully pulling me in his arms as I cried.

“We gon’ get through this…I promise you,” Jey whispered, and I prayed he was right.

-----

One Month Later

Boston Municipal Courthouse

 Jey’s POV

This has been a straight shit show. Tia is really up in here on the stand painting a picture of Kara betraying her. I am just confused as shit right now as is everyone else.

“Ms. Morris what was going through your mind as you held your sister and you boyfriend hostage?”

“Boyfriend?” Trin whispered as I felt Kara’s grip on my hand tighten as she listed to Tia serve up her lies.

“All I could think about is that I had just got suspended and I just wanted to talk to my sister.  I go to her house and there is my boyfriend I couldn’t believe they were hooking up behind my back,” she said as Kara leaned on her knees.

“Is she serious right now?” Kara whispered as Tia began crying. “I saw he had sent her flowers and I just lost it. We were arguing and before I knew it, I pulled out the gun and it went off by accident.”

I put my hand on Kara’s knee as I saw the pool of tears in her eyes. “She’s lying and they’re believing her,” she whispered looking at the jury trying to not lose it.

I couldn’t believe myself when I saw a juror crying.

“Kara, it gon’ be ok,” I whispered as she shook her head in disbelief as Tia spun a new web of lies trying to save her own ass.

“No, it’s not. It’s hopeless,” Kara whispered getting up and going out of the courtroom as I got up to follow her.

“Kara, ya’ll are going to have your time up there, and it will work out, I said catching up to her. “Why are we here?” Kara asked, the look on her face breaking my heart.

“To get justice and you will get it, I promise,” I said seeing Trin coming out with Jimmy, Roman and a few other people.

“They are doing a twenty-minute recess and then I’m up,” Roman said as I rubbed Kara’s arms trying to get her to calm down.

“Did all that really just happen?” she asked as I saw her wince in pain.

“Look sit down you’re still hurt and trying to do too much,” I fussed as I saw Roman cut his eyes at me.

“Kara, we go up there, tell the truth and everything will work out,” Roman said as Kara took a deep breath and laid her head on my shoulder.

“I hope so,” she whispered rubbing her chest as Roman looked at me with worry.

“Jey, can I talk to you for a minute?” Roman asked as I reluctantly agreed as Jimmy switched places with me and sat next to Kara.

I didn’t know what he wanted but it must have been important for him to want to talk about it now at all places.

“I need to tell you what I’mma talk about up there,” he said as I stopped him.

“Kara already told me you were in the house when she got there. She told me ya’ll argued about me, the keys, her pulling a knife on you . She told me everything,” I said as Roman sighed in relief.

“I didn’t know if she had told you, so much has been going on. I just didn't want you to be blindsided,” Roman said as I nodded in understanding.

“Jey, I’m trying my hardest here to make it right,” Roman said as I sighed. “I know I got a long way to go, and things will never be the same, but I want us to at least be able to be cordial to each other if I see you at family functions.”

“I know, I just don’t think nobody will be able to move on until Tia is gone,” I said as we saw people heading back in the court room.

“Then let’s make it happen..Kara and Logan’s safety  are the top priority,” Roman said as I silently agreed as we went back to join the others.

The tension in the court room was so thick as Roman was sworn in. Tia looked so calm it was almost scary.

“So, Mr. Reigns on the night in question why you at were your ex-wife’s house?”

“Objection your honor, why Mr. reigns was there has nothing to do with this case. This case is about Ms. Morris showing up there and holding them hostage and almost killing her sister along with Mr. reigns and Mrs. Fatu who was almost shot at.”

“Sustained, Ms. Morris stated she showed up and her boyfriend was there, so continue counselor." The judge said as I frowned at him.

“Oh my god,” Kara whispered as Trin slid over and put her arm around Kara as I grasped her hand.

“We got you,” she whispered as Kara sighed, looking at Roman

“I had saw my ex-wife on a video my cousin had posted. I was upset so I flew to see her, went in her home to wait for her and we argued about it when she got home,” Roman said with remorse.

“Mr. Reigns how did your wife- ….I’m sorry ex wife-”

“Council stop badgering the witness,” the judge said seeing how uncomfortable Roman was at the lawyer taunting him.

“I’m sorry your honor…Mr. Reigns how did Ms. Morris finally get you to agree to leave?” the lawyer asked as Roman looked over at Kara then back at the lawyer nervously.

“Uh, I wouldn’t leave after she continuously asked, Kara did what made her feel safe. I don’t blame her, I was kinda out of control,” Roman said as Kara wiped her tears.

“That’s not what I asked you Mr. Reigns, what did she do?” The lawyer pressed.

Kara’s POV

This man is really up here trying to say I’m the aggressor. Roman looked at me and I gave him a small smile letting him know I was ok and to tell the truth.

“I’ll ask you ag-”

“I don’t need you to ask again, I wouldn’t leave so Kara pulled out a knife and told me to leave. I apologized and went to le-”

“So, what you saying is she was already angry and willing to hurt someone, maybe even kill them in her hysterics. I mean she almost killed her own sister,” the lawyer said as I looked over at my mom who was crying.

“Objection your honor how is the victim on trial?!”

“Sustained, answer the question Mr. Reigns.”

“This motherfucker,” I heard Jimmy hiss as I felt Jey calmy caressing my hand.

“Kara, was upset and hurt. I wouldn’t leave, and even though I put her through hell, do you know what she did?

“I’m sure you will enlighten us Mr. Reigns,” the defense lawyer said smartly as I saw Tia smirk.

“I damn sure will, when she had a chance to run, she stopped and came back when Tia threatened to kill me. She asked Kara did she want to be the reason my daughter wouldn’t have a father,” Roman said as getting choked up.

“You monster, you tried to kill my baby!” Ms. Janice yelled standing up as the judge began beating his gavel.

“Order in the court! Order in the court!”

“I can’t believe ya’ll are putting people through this! She did it and needs to be in jail!” Janice screamed as Jimmy was trying to get her to calm down seeing two bailors coming towards us.  

“Come on auntie, let’s go take a walk,” he whispered leading her out the courtroom as she cried against him.

 The judge seemed conflicted if he should continue, or not as Roman stood up wanting to go after his mom.’

“Are you ok to continue Mr. Reigns?” the judge asked as he nodded sitting back down.

“Um, your honor it has already been a long day can we reconvene tomorrow?” the state attorney said as Roman seemed happy about the suggestion

“Yes, reconvene tomorrow at 9 a.m.,” the judge said as Roman came down and went to check on his mom.

“Ya’ll this is going to be an uphill battle, she’s spinning everything,” Mr. Reiner said as we walked out.

“It’s hopeless,” I said as my mom walked over making me look at her.

“Baby, its gonna be alright,” she said giving me a hug as I tried to hold it together.

As I saw Roman talking to his mom, he seemed relieved as she nodded, and they hugged.

“What they so happy about? That was a disaster in there,” Trin said as they walked towards us.

“Are you ok? You acting real happy all of a sudden,” I said as Roman hugged me, as I saw Jey tense up for a second before I saw his body relax.

“Uce, do you remember when I met ya’ll to sign the papers for the house and Kara was talking about getting used to being alone in the city again?” Roman asked as Jey rubbed his beard.

“Uh, yea, I remember,” Jey said still not following and neither was I. “What did you suggest she get?” Roman asked as it then clicked for Jey.

“Ring cameras,” Jey whispered as Roman nodded.

“Yes, ring cameras…Now please tell me ya’ll got them,” Roman pleaded as I nodded.

“Yea, Jey and Jimmy started doing them, but they had only got to the living room and kit-”

“Oh my god, ya’ll got everything on video,” Trin whispered as Mr. Reiner seemed to perk up at the new information.

“How do you retrieve the footage, Kara?” he asked, knowing I didn’t live in that house anymore.

“When I used It, it would automatically save to my iCloud and the ring camera app. When I was out and about, I could look at footage from inside the house,” I said opened the app and going back to the date before giving it to Mr. Reiner as he turned off the sound and began fast forwarding through the footage from that day.

“Can we use it?” Jey asked as but he didn’t say anything for a few minutes.

 “Kara, Roman, and Trinity come with me please,” he said pausing the video on my phone as I looked at Jey, panicking. “I’ll be right here waiting,” he said as I nodded following behind Trin and Roman.

“Can I help you Mr. Reiner?” the clerk asked as he smiled. “Yes, I need to see Judge Kendell in his chambers this is important. I have new evidence this has come to light, and it is vital to our case,” he said as the clerk got up to see had he left yet.

“Please let him see us,” Trin prayed as I felt like this was too good to be true.

“I can’t believe I didn’t think about that. We could have avoided all this shit,” I hissed as roman grabbed my hands.

“Hey, it’s about to be over…Believe me,” he whispered as I nodded.

“I’m just glad you remembered, because I didn’t even think about it,” I said as he sighed. “It just popped in my head when I was talking to mom and I’m glad it did too,” he said giving me a hug that I actually welcomed this time.

“The judge will see you all now,” the clerk said taking us to his chamber. I felt like I was walking the green mile.

The poor judge looked ill watching the footage, thankfully he didn’t have the sound on, and we didn’t have to see it. I don’t think I would have been able to keep it together.

“I will inform the prosecution of the new developments. You do know this will be played in court tomorrow. Do you all think you can handle that judge Kendall asked as Roman and Trin nodded.

“Ms. Morris what about you?”

“If it gets to be too much, I’ll leave…They have to see it, she can’t get away with this.”

“Ms. Morris, you fought for your life in there that night, and I don’t want you to feel guilty. You had no choice in the matter, and the jury needs to see this,” he said as I nodded in understanding and feeling better knowing he knew the truth.

“Mrs. Fatu, I’ve watched your face throughout this trial, and I’ve seen a lot of this weighing heavy on you. I want you to know that you did the right thing, you ran and got your family help.”

 Reaching over I grabbed her hand in mine as she wiped her tears.

“Told you so,” I whispered, clearing my throat trying not to cry myself as Roman put his arm around us both.

 “I’m sorry we’ve had to put you all through this.” Jude Kendall said sincerely remorseful.

“I’m just glad Roman thought about it and we can set the record straight,” I said he looked at Roamn.

 “You didn’t hesitate to risk your life for these young ladies, its commendable.”

“They’re my family I wasn’t a hard decision,” Roman said as the Judge cracked a smile.

“Mr. Reigns the circus that took place in there today will not happen tomorrow; I promise you.”

“I hope not sir, but I’m just thankful this will be over soon so I can get back to my daughter.”

“I will see you all at 9 am and let’s finish this,” he said standing up shaking all of our hands.

I walked out feeling happy but at the same time unable to really feel it was over until I heard a guilty verdict.

----

Later on that night

Kara’s new house

Jey’s POV

“So, ya’ll didn’t see the footage?” Jimmy asked as Trin shook her head.

“Nah, he said watching it tomorrow was going to be hard enough. He watched and apologized. How’s Kara?”

“I just checked on her..She’s finally asleep.  It was hard on her today,” I said not even wanting to think about the train wreck that was court today.

“I know it was, I couldn’t believe that asshole was trying to paint her as the problem,” Jimmy said as I nodded taking a swig of my beer.

“I wanted to reach over and kill him, like do you know what she been through. What we all been through dealing with that crazy fool?”

“He gets paid to get his clients off, but he ain’t gon’ be able to do shit tomorrow, it’s game over,” Trin said with full of confidence.

“Your right let’s just focus on tomorrow. I don’t even know how Kara is going to react seeing that footage tomorrow. Hell, how are any of us going to react?” I asked, truly not looking forward to watching the video tomorrow.

The lawyer called earlier and told us they had lifted the footage from the app and put it together splicing the view from the living room and kitchen together.

Tomorrow people were going to see everything up until they carried Roman out of the house on a gurney.

The worst moment of our lives was about to be displayed for everyone to see but if that was what needed to be done for Tia to pay then so be it.

-----

The next day

Boston Municipal Courthouse

Kara’s POV

I smiled watching that smile fall from Tia’s face as the judge allowed the evidence to logged in and tagged. They are currently moving the big screen TV to the middle of the courtroom.

“I have to warn you all this is graphic, and does have sound.,” the Judge said as Tia’s lawyer all but jumped out of his chair.

“Your honor, I object this is a witch hunt,” Tia’s lawyer said as the footage was being loaded.

“Sustained��. Counselor your client got on this stand and said her side of the story, now the prosecution is about to present their side of the story and evidence.” He said as Tia’s lawyer sat down placing his hand over the microphone as Tia leaned over talking to him.

She was shaken, that smile was gone now, and I loved it.

“Ms. Morris, Mr. Reigns, and Mrs. Fatu if at any time this gets to be too much you can leave,” the judge said looking at me as I gave him a small smile.

The video started with me walking across the living room with Roman in tow.

I felt the Jey tense as he saw Roman following me into the kitchen.

I felt embarrassed watching myself pulling out a knife on Roman. “God, I look crazy, maybe she was right,” I whispered as Jey shook his head.

“No, you were defending yourself, he wouldn’t leave,” Jey said looking over at Roman who had his head down, refusing to look.

“Kara, we need to talk about Je-”

“I don’t want to talk to you…I want you out!”

Hearing my voice, Iclosed my eyes almost transporting back to that moment as I tried to tune everyone out. But hearing a collective gasp, I looked up to see Tia urging Roman back inside the house and shutting the door with the gun pointed directly at him.

Lie number one exposed…..

“My god, Tia,” my mother whispered in disbelief as the scene played out like a movie in front of us.

“Get back here or I’ll shoot him.. Do you want to be the reason Logan has no father?”

I felt helpless once again, seeing myself this way was fucking with me. My hands in the air begging and pleading for her to calm down as she seemed to love the fear she had instilled in us.

Roman jumping in front of me to protect me.

“You didn’t give us a chance because you wanted her, Roman! You wanted her!..... Jey wanted her!”

I looked at Jey as he frowned looking the footage, but he never let go of my hand. His eyes full of tears.

“Kara, I got your food, twins ran up the street to the store for your ginger ale, and some snacks.”

“Trin Run!!”

“Help! Help us! She has a gun!” Trin hysterical screams fill the courtroom as she leans, over putting her head on my shoulder.

“I can’t do this,” my mother cried getting up, but my dad pulled her back down into her seat. “No, you need to see this, we all do.”

“Run Kara!”

I glanced up at the screen, hearing the first gunshot, my stomach becoming queasy as I looked over and saw Roman getting up to follow his mom, who was unable to stand it anymore.

 She had just saw her son head hit his head on the table as he struggled to get a gun away from a lunatic. His neck snapping back as he collapsed on the ground, unconscious and bleeding profusely from his head.

Who could blame her for wanting to leave?

I was finding people to look at instead of watching the video. I glanced at the jury as soon as I saw the video switch to the view in the kitchen.

I didn’t want to see it…I couldn’t see it.

As another gunshot rang out, I closed my eyes heard my body hit the floor with a thud.  I shifted in my seat trying move, but Jey stopped me, pulling me closer as I looked up at him.  

The ushed tears spilling from his eyes breaking my heart. I felt the walls closing in on me.

My heart dropping  to my stomach as a blood curling scream escaped from my mother’s lips as I stabbed my sister, the swift sound of the blade entering her flesh made me nauseous.

The silent sobs of the jurors making my heart race. I saw many people in the room focused on me, trying to see if I was actually watching the video…They wanted a show, but I wasn’t going to give it to them.

What they didn’t know was that I didn’t have to look at the TV screen to know what was happening.

It was a horrible nightmare etched in my memory, consuming me as I laid in that hospital bed thinking and wondering what I could have done differently.  

The way you could hear a pin drop in the courtroom when the Paramedic screamed, I wasn’t breathing and asking for backup sent chills down my spine.

Hearing Jey’s voice I looked at the screen. There was Jey seemingly in a daze helping the paramedic any way he could.

“She’s dead, Jey,” the joy in Tia voice shocking everyone in the court room. She truly wanted me dead and it ain’t no coming back from that.

Seeing the relief in Jey’s face as I began breathing again as he kissed me on the temple, I couldn’t stop my tears.  

“Kara, its Josh…I love you so much…You hear me I’m here and I ain’t goin’ nowhere,” I couldn’t take it anymore and as calmy as I could, I got up and left, as Jey followed me.

“Kara, stop for a second,” he pleaded as I tried to find a quiet place, finally going into an empty stairwell away from prying eyes.

“I’m so sorry I did that to you,” I whimpered as Jey made me stop walking and wrapped me up in his arms, burying his head in my neck.

“You ain’t got nothin’ to be sorry for,” his voice breaking as we silently cried together, the reality of what could have happened and did happen hitting us hard.

“I almost lost you and it’s fuckin’ wit me but I can’t even imagine what you feeling after having to see all that. It’s ok to not be ok.”

“I know, it just seemed to hit me all at once,” I whispered pulling away slightly, to look at him.

“We gon’ be ok though Kara, we are almost there,” Jey said as I gave him a tired smile.

“Thanks for being here,” I said as he smiled at me. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else, I got you and we can go back when you ready,” he whispered as I nodded.

After about an hour, we went back in the courtroom sat back down next to Trin and Jimmy.

“You ok? We had gone out to look for you but couldn’t find y’all.”

“Yea, I just had a moment sis, and needed a break. What did we miss?” I asked as she chuckled.

“Girl, the defense was so shook.. They waived calling any of us back up to the stand to be questioned. They know it’s a wrap, they rested and gave a weak ass closing argument and now want to take the original plea deal,” Trin said as rubbing my knee trying to calm my nerves.

“I’m so glad this is about over,” I said as Mr. Reiner stood up.

“Yesterday we heard this sad sob story from Tia Morris on how her sister hurt her by going with her boyfriend. When in actuality, Tia did that betrayal to her sister Kara Morris,” he said talking to the jury, briefly turning around to point at Tara.

Watching their faces, it seemed they were invested in what he was telling them.

“Your honor is this necessary?” Tara’s Lawyer asked as Mr. Reiner smiled.

“Your honor, they brought up this yesterday, so I feel the jury has a right to know how all this started.”

“Sustained…Keep it brief,” Judge Kendall said as Mr. Reiner nodded in understanding.

 “Tara Morris isn’t as innocent as she claims to be.. She sought out her sister’s husband, seduced him, had a child with him and them tried to extort money from him. The child hasn’t had anything to do with its mother really since birth.” He said walking back and forth down the jury box, making sure to look at everyone.

“When Ms. Morris realized Mr. Reigns still loved his wife, and wasn’t going to be with her, she abandoned the child and agreed to sign over her rights to her daughter if Mr. Reigns would give her 50 million dollars.”

“Dirty bitch,” Trin muttered as I sighed shifting in my seat.

“Her sister Kara Morris then moves away to get away from the chaos that is her relationship with her sister, and husband. Gets a divorce, is trying to piece her life back together to only have her home invaded and almost shot and killed by that same sister she left Florida to get away from.”

“Gon’ break dat shit down for’em,” Jimmy said engrossed in what the lawyer was saying. Everyone was and I actually felt a little more at ease.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, who taunts another human being as someone they love lays dying on the cold hard floor?” The dramatic pause in his voice captivating the room.

I’ll tell you who… An animal that’s who, an animal shows no remorse. The tricky part though is when Ms. Morris realized she had to face the consequences of her actions, she cried mental breakdown, and I don’t think that’s the case her at all.”

I felt Jey caressing my leg as I looked at him and he winked. “She’s going down,” he mouthed as I nodded, looking back at my mother who seemed just defeated.

“The video we all saw today clearly shows malice intent and while at times unhinged, Ms. Morris knew what she was doing. Now, I would never say deny someone mental help, but I do believe in actions have consequences and Tia Morris has been terrorizing people with no consequences for her actions.”

I nodded agreeing with him as I saw a few jurors looking at me with a sad smile.

I didn’t want pity. I wanted this to be over. Sensing my discomfort Jey draped his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer, kissing me gently on the temple as I melted into his touch.

“It’s time we do right by Ms. Morris and make sure her attacker takes responsibility for her actions and her disregard for human life. It’s time for Kara to heal so she can move on with her life.”

He was working the room, and everyone was hanging on to his every word.

 “It’s time we do right by Mr. Reigns so he can move on a focus on being a father to his beautiful little girl who needs him so he can move on with his life.”

“Oh, he’s going in for the kill,” Trin whispered as I smiled. “Yea, he is.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time we do right by Mrs. Fatu so she’s not afraid to walk into her best friend’s home. Give her the comfort of knowing there won’t be a psycho lying in wait trying to kill the people she loves or even kill her.” Mr. Reiner said, his voice trembling as I saw an older lady juror nodding, wiping her tears.

“Damn, man,” Jimmy whispered trying to keep his emotions in check as he looked at Trin. “Hey, I’m ok,” she assured him leaning over giving him a chaste kiss on the lips.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have the power to give them all peace of mind so they can finally move forward with their lives… Please make the right decision and thank you all for your time.”

I wanted to jump up and give him a standing ovation, but I had to force myself to sit quietly. Looking over I saw Tia arguing with her lawyer, that cool facade long gone. She was scared.

“Oh, he did that,” Trin said with a small smile.

“Yes, he did.. Now let’s see if the jury can take it on home,” I said as the judge gave them instructions.

As they filed out the room to deliberate, I went and sat by my mom and dad. I had been somewhat avoiding them knowing they were struggling with being there for Tia and me.

They didn’t want either of their children in trouble or hurt.

“Honey, I’m so sorry,” my mom cried as I shook my head at her words.

“Mama, it’s ok…I’m good,” I said as my father gave me a hug. “You did what you had to do,” he whispered as my mom began sobbing.

“What was she thinking?” my mom cried as my dad sighed.

“Rebecca, she wasn’t thinking. She’s so used to getting away with stuff or shifting the blame she thought she was invincible. Now she’s going to have to deal with the consequences,” he said as my mother continued to cry.

“Maybe the time away will do her good and she can get some help she needs,” she said as I tried to share her positive outlook, but I wanted her ass in jail for the rest of her life.

Nothing would never ever be the same again.

As we went to lunch at a local eatery down the street, I tried not to worry but I was so use to Tia finding some way to get out of things I had to be prepared.

“So, when are you going to Mike’s?” Jimmy asked as I chuckled. “I don’t know yet, but he has been sending me ideas of what he could do to cover this,” I said pointing at my chest.

“It’s not that big, so you could easily get like a tiny tattoo,” Jey said knowing I was never really big on tattoos on my body, but I loved them on him.

“Doctor said it would be a few months before I could get a tattoo, I’m still healing. I think I want a little one, but the idea of the pain scares me. I remember your choice words as he did your back tattoo,” I said as he chuckled.

“Man, dat shit hurt, I was questioning my choices,” he said as we laughed.  

“Good choice though, it looks amazing, and I love it. It was really cool to see the process up close,” I said as he blushed.

“Damn, she got twin out her blushin’ n shit,” Jimmy said as Trin slapped him on the shoulder.

“Get out they business, Jurdy.” Trin warned as Jey rolled his eyes at his brother. Hearing my phone buzz on the table, I quickly picked it up.

“Hello, Mr. Reiner,” I said as the table got quiet in anticipation.

“I was just calling to let you know, they’ve reached a verdict. I’ll meet you all back at the courthouse.”

“Um, thank you, we’ll see you there,” I said hanging up, feeling anxious. Damn that was quick as hell.

“What did he say?” Jey asked as I looked at him in disbelief. “They already have reached a verdict, we need to head back to the courthouse,” I said as he smiled at me.

“What we still sittin’ here for then,” he said getting up to go pay the bill.

“Damn, in under an hour! “Jimmy said as Trin smiled at him.

“It’s guilty, I know it is,” she said as I silently prayed it was.

---

Boston Municipal Courthouse

Jey’s POV

“Will the defendant please rise,” the judge said as Tia stood up with her lawyer.

The appointed juror that was nominated to speak began to read the verdict.

“We the jury on the charge of attempted murder in the 1st degree we find the defendant, Tia Morris not guilty.” The collective gasp of disbelief spread throughout the courtroom as Tia smiled.

I wanted to bolt but Jey held me in place. “Just listen,” he pleaded.

“On count two, attempted murder in the second degree, we find the defendant Tia Morris guilty,” the juror said as I collapsed against Jey in relief.

“I got you..I’m right here,” Jey whispered as I tried to keep my tears at bay.

“On the charge of reckless endangerment in the second degree, we find the defendant Tia Morris guilty.” Satisfied murmurs filled the courtroom as I finally felt free, she had been found guilty.

“Was the verdict unanimously reached?” the judge asked as all the jurors answered yes.

“Good, we can begin to talk about the terms of the plea deal.”

Looking at Tia, I knew the theatrics was about to begin. She all of a sudden cried out, and collapsed on the floor as my mother screamed, running over to her with a bailiff.

“Oh, get up, ain’t nobody buying that shit,” Trin said as I shook my head.

“There she goes, always two steps ahead,” I whispered as Jey made me look at him.

“Aye, she can fall out all she wants, it’s a done deal…You hear me, they found her guilty,” he said as I nodded trying not to look over at her.

“Bitch, get yo’ fakin’ ass up off dat floor,” Trin whispered with a hiss as Jimmy shook his head in confusion.

“She really done fell her crazy ass out on these folks’ floor,” he said as Roman looked over at us in just as much shock.

“Leave her alone, she alright..Get up ,Tia,” my father said standing up as my mother scoffed at him.

“She’s hurt Bill.”

“Hurt my ass, more like caught. Tia get up before I come over there,” he ordered as she began to sit up, wiping her tears.

“Yea, that’s what I thought,” my dad said irritated, sitting back down shaking his head.

“Lord have mercy,” Ms. Janice said as Roman shook his head.

“They got her Rebecca, come back over here,” my dad said as my mom looked Tia over quickly and came back to her seat.

“Well, that was rather eventful,” Judge Kendall said looking at Tia as she wept standing next to her lawyer.

“Ms. Morris, your guilty verdict of second degree means some feel you acted in a moment of passion. That tails a 5-to-15-year sentence. Your reckless endangerment charge warrants three to seven years. Now your attorney wants your clean record to be taken into account and I tend to somewhat agree.”

“Thank god," my mother said as I rolled my eyes. I was getting irritated as fuck, as Jey reeled me in with his touch.

“Tia Morris, in taking all that into consideration, and you opting for the original plea deal. Ms. Morris, I hereby sentence you to eight years at the Boston State Women’s prison. Probation eligibility after three years served. Counseling will be provided on a weekly basis,” he said as Tia nodded, wiping her tears.

“Thank you so much your honor,” she whimpered making my skin crawl.

“You’ve been given a second chance Ms. Morris don’t make the court regret it. Also, I’m issuing a no contact order with your sister Kara Morris. When released if you violate the order, you will go back to finish your original 15-year sentence. Do you understand?”

“Yes, your honor I do,” Tia whispered as I nodded taking in the verdict.

“She could be out in three years.”

“Hey, let’s not think about it now,” Jey said as I looked at Tia as she hugged her lawyer.

Justice had been served, but I still felt like things between Tia, and I were a long time from being over.

Could we all really move on with this cloud hanging over our heads?

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[wexhappyxfew]

Hello love! If it's not a problem for you, how about "what do you mean you don't know?" from prompt list #3 for my girl Annie?

If not, no worries, anything else is fine!

Thank you again, I love the way you write!

ah hello anon!! thanks so much for stopping by and dropping in a prompt - this one took a bit for me to write and wrap my head around for the direction i wanted and the end result is definitely something i like! :) featuring annie bradshaw, john brady, and a whole lot of emotions that are hard to navigate :'( enjoy!!

______________________________________________________________

The bed was probably the most comforting thing in the past few days more than anything else.

It was warm, and a place where she could shut her eyes from the world around her, and most importantly, she could finally let herself rest enough to get a few hours of sleep - something she was severely lacking on in recent happenings.

That and the fact Captain Brady was right there next to her.

One of the bigger changes in recent days as well. It sort of just happened. The two of them there. In bed side by side. He'd wandered in and she'd been in her bed, staring aimlessly at the ceiling, previous thoughts of just what had happened, mulling about in her mind - Major Cleven's fort going down, DeMarco along with him.

Then there had been Margie's tears and trying to comfort a girl who was feeling much more emotional than she thought she would've. There was recognizing that they really didn't know what had happened but that their first assumptions were as expected - MIA or dead.

So, Brady finding her curled in her bed, dead-silent, was something he probably expected.

Him settling down next to her?

Yeah, that was a whole new experience.

And now, with the evening rolling in, with bitter wind chills, the 'nap' (if you could call it a nap) was forcing her from sleep, where she was tucked protectively against his form, the rise and fall of his chest mesmorizing as she lazily blinked her eyes awake.

A part of her wanted to stay in this moment, right here, for as long as she could; curled against Brady, his arm around her, holding her as close as possible to him without it crossing any sort of lines they had tried to draw, his thumb gently brushing the exposed part of her wrist that was curled up against her own chest.

Annie softly let out a breath and then shifted her head to look upwards towards Brady's face, finding him completely passed out. The past few days had taken its toll on everyone; mission every day, losing people every day, planes going down left and right, less seats occupied in the mornings with filling breakfasts. His face was so soft in his sleep, the stress lines gone, his face light. She wondered back home if his own mother would ever pray that he'd come home and be able to sleep like this again - away from war, sorrow and pain. In a world where this, where they were right now, was so far removed from war that Annie could've allowed herself to envision this as a future.

"Hey," Brady mumbled, slowly peaking his eyes open in the sprinkling of evening darkness, shifting a bit as he yawned, looking towards her lazily.

This would be an awkward moment to not call him sir, right? Annie watched him for a moment, her hand lingering on his leather jacket that she was curled against and smiled slightly his way.

"Hi," she whispered back, her own eyes still feeling heavy as she stared at his darkened face in the poorly lit officers' barracks, "how'd you sleep? You were out-cold." Brady let a grin grow on his features, an evidently tired one, but a genuine one nonetheless and he settled again, his hand finding its way along her back, his touch lingering as he went.

"Probably the best I've had in weeks, and," he checked his watch, "to say an hour nap was the best in weeks is pretty sad if I'm being honest." She laughed. A light, genuine laugh.

Annie sat up a bit, leaning an arm on his chest, lying her head there and staring up at him, with probably the most boring gaze she could offer him, with her mind drained, her nerves shot and the last of her wits about her, depleted. But, the corner of his lip quirked up and he seemed to smile at her.

That was this thing with them; the crawling into each other's cots when things got too much, the lingering looks after launching themselves from the B-17s that nearly crash-landed after every mission, the eye contact in Interrogation or at the mess hall from across the tables. The knowing and undying of it all. The knowing, which hurt the most.

"What's up there?" Brady asked her quietly, reaching forward, almost as-if absentmindedly, brushing some hair from her eyes, like it were second nature, "your wheels are turning, I can see it." He always seemed to know when she was on some long train of thought that had no stops. Just that look in his eye, the way his gaze stayed longer than needed; he always knew.

"If you run into Margie, just give her a hug," Annie said quietly, "she's…..she's struggling. All of this." Brady was silent as he listened to her - something Annie gave him a lot of credit for. Just listening, letting her talk. So many times, it was her doing the listening for others. Him watching her so intently and immersed almost made her lose it on the spot.

"I don't know," whispered Annie, her voice tight, "Margie was finally just….letting someone else in? She's a sweetheart truly, but I don't know, ever since that night he took her dancing, she's been so happy, just….a ball of sunshine. He was good for her." And now the only thing uttered after DeMarco's name was MIA (and the other silent word no one wanted to say).

"Benny's a tough guy," Brady said with a nod at her, "and Margie's got more hope for the future than the rest of us combined." He met her gaze.

"And knowing Benny, he's not going out of this war because a German killed him," Brady said. Annie found herself able to smile a bit at the truth in his words - he was right. Benny DeMarco was tough as nails; but with Margie, he turned like a sunflower to sunshine. In her gut, she knew no one like him would just let it be the end.

Annie looked at Brady - fully. Taking in everything about his face, just simply him, that tired look in his eyes, the slight hint of a smile.

"What?" Brady said, his voice low, "There's something else bothering you." There was something deep inside of her, convincing her that nothing else was wrong - that it was the fact that her focus was so intense on Margie that it had consumed her. But then, she looked at Brady and her heart rate sped up.

"Just…." she trailed off, her heart continuing to pound; he continued to hold her gaze, firmer this time, more engrossed and focused solely on her - almost like he knew. Like he knew exactly what was she feeling. There was constant fear that swirled in her gut and made her feel sick. It made her feel like curling up into a ball and never facing the world again. A general fear for every aspect of her life right now.

Annie slowly sat up, trying to get a deeper breath than she was getting at the minute and nervously reached up to tuck her hair behind her ears and looked at Brady again, who looked more alarmed by the second.

"What's going on?" Brady asked quietly, sitting up and reaching forward - always inevitably reaching, like the rest of them. For more, for something better. His hands were there on her arms - and they were inviting, tender and present - right there.

"I don't know," Annie whispered, her voice tight - she did know.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Brady whispered back, his voice filled with concern, which continued to flood in. She looked up at him and shook her head, before staring at her hands again.

"I don't know what I'll do if it's you," she whispered. Brady's grip tightened on her forearms a bit and he let out that shaky breath he did when he held onto his breath for too long - something she would've jokingly commented on, but for now was something that made her stomach twist. Annie glanced up at Brady, his eyes already on hers, the two watching each other and those intermingled bit of words mingling between them.

"I can't control whatever happens in the future, Annie," he whispered and her name sounded ethereal on his lips, she suddenly wanted the world to wash away, "whatever happens, I'd find my way back to you. You know that." Did she though?

All those looks in the flying club, the drink sharing, the offer of his coat, or a hug, or to tell some really God-awful jokes that she always laughed at….did she know though? Was this anything? Or was it something to hold onto in this mess of a war? There was so much unspoken between them, like if they said anything, they'd jinx it all? Maybe that's why they just went along with it, why they were sat here like this, right now.

"Because I know sure as anything if you go down, I'd go on every mission day after day, to make sure the Germans pay, hell I'd come and find you no matter what," Brady whispered quietly, his tone firm, but full of truth, "and I hate to talk that way, to even let myself think it. But with what we do, every day, I have to be okay with that. And you, too." Annie slowly reached forward and took his right hand in her two palms and ran her fingers over the smooth palms of his hands, the tension slowly dwindling from his body as he sighed and leaned forward, pressing his forehead against her own. He let out a shaky breath.

"They got it coming."

[theseawakes]

Glimpse of Past (Marc Spector x teen!reader

summary: Marc emphatize with you when you showed up at his door and shared your past.

warnings: child abuse, death (mentioned) (lmk if I missed anything)

request: "Could I request a moonknight x teen reader (platonic) where reader usually helps them with finding people or finding information, kind of like “guy in chair”. And they often spend late nights helping Steven, Jake and Marc not spending a lot of time at home. Maybe Steven questions it but reader kinda shrugs it off. Then one day reader shows up covered in bruises and all of them tries to find out what happened but reader doesn’t want to tell them but then reveals that it was one of reader’s parents. And Marc becomes really protective because of what happened to him when he was a kid. You can decide the ending if you want but I would love to see some Hurt/Comfort."

a/n: I'm sorry I only did it with Marc, I sorta wrote it to take set right after incidents in season 1 with reader not knowing Steven and Jake yet

Marc Spector wasn't the one who worked well with people, but he eventually got a hang of it, thanks to you.

The mercenary never intended to have someone working off-screen for him. You were a threat. You came too close to Marc's secret job for his liking, prying on his night activities and even providing proof. Khonshu was telling Marc to get rid of you, but you butted him first by signing yourself to work with him. Marc couldn't risk someone knowing his night profession, and he didn't wanna kill a child. And judging your ability to be able to uncover the whole Moon Knight thing just reveals that you could be more than useful. So work with him, you did.

Yet earning the certain Spector's trust was hard. There were more than a handful of times when you gotta prove to him that you were, indeed, more than useful for him to fully trust you. Which you consider weird because he was the one who saved you from "getting rid of."

The crescent moon turned into full then turned anew. You found yourself rather at home with Marc than at your actual house. Oftentimes, you spend days with him even if he doesn't go on missions. As much as Marc hated to admit, he does enjoy it too. He enjoys hearing your antics in the comms, he enjoys hearing you read a book of pun jokes and coming home to you spreading out on the couch after a long mission.

You left him with a note that says, "I'll be back soon" once and have never been back ever since. His worry starts to grow as high as those skyscraper buildings. It's been weeks and Marc couldn't find any sign of your existence. Nevertheless, he prayed to anyone listening to him to keep you safe.

You are, in fact, not safe

Your hand trails on the newly made black eye on your face. A wince was shown on your reflection in the mirror.

You never intended to go home. You never wanted to go home. You were going to buy something in a store when you accidentally crashed into one of your father's friends. They immediately took you back to him and he was beyond furious. He locked you in your room for days and only opened the door to feed or beat you.

He had thrown out all your electronic devices; he made sure to cut any way of communication with the outside world so you weren't able to reach Marc. You were glad you left your camera in Marc's place, it was a gift from your late brother, the one you used to spy on Marc.

Your father let you out recently because he needs help to do chores. You still get beatings if you don't do exactly what he says. The newest black eye was obtained from dropping a bottle of beer because your hand hurts from his beatings.

Sighing heavily, you looked outside the bathroom when you heard a knock on the door.

The man sitting on the armchair paid no attention to it, locking his eyes on the TV. He, however, bitterly spat, "Get the door, they're my friends."

"Why don't you get it yourself?" You whispered under your breath, thinking he couldn't hear you. He did.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Your body flinched when you heard his boots making their way to where you are. "You should be glad I let you out that room." A slap. "You ungrateful bastard of a child." Another slap. "You should be glad I even spared your life!" This one almost sends you to the floor, but his hands pull you by your collar and smash your body to the nearest wall. "You took everything from me. My wife, my son, my good and perfect life with them!"

Your body made contact with the cold hard sink before falling to the floor. Groaning in pain, you felt another thing stomping your abdomen several times. After what felt like forever, your father finally stopped. With your final energy, you look at the front door. Seeing as your father and his friends were occupied by the TV, you dashed out of the bathroom and eventually out of the house. They noticed, of course, but you didn't care, all you cared about was running away as far as you can. You run to the only place you had in mind. The last thing you remember was knocking your hand on the familiar dark wooden door.

Marc scanned your sleeping form on the couch, noting the many differences between your usual self before your disappearance and now. Your clothes looked more like it's hanging on your body. Dark spots are circling your eyes with a slight dark blue color on one of them. Your skin is littered with bruises; purple, blue, even yellow. You look so… fragile. Totally different from the last time he saw you.

The time Marc realized you were not coming back or went "missing", he tried to find you by asking people he knows who know you. He tried looking and digging for information on where you live since you never told him. But he found nothing.

When he opened the door and saw you, he was beyond relieved to know that you were still alive. However, his heart dropped the moment he looked into your eyes. The sight was too familiar to him. He swore he caught a glimpse of himself inside those E/C eyes. And that was all he needed to know about your state before carrying your collapsed body to the couch.

The Khonshu Avatar watched as your eyes fluttered open, squinting a few times to adjust the light. Your head turned to see him despite it throbbing terribly. Tears clouded your blurry vision but you could still see Marc moving towards you. Your eyes widened in realization of someone coming towards you. With a jerk, you stand up and immediately back away from the person.

"Y/N?" Marc questioned.

You looked down as your feet kept dragging you away from the man. "I'm sorry, I won't do it again. I promise! I– it was my fault, I'm sorry, I am. I didn't mean to disobey you, I didn't mean to kill them, I'm sorry, please don't hit me, I didn't mean—"

"Y/N, it's me, it's Marc." Marc tried to cut you but failed as you replayed your muttering again and again and he'd be lying if that didn't shatter his heart. "Bud, it's all fine. You're alright. They can't get you here. You're safe," he made his voice as soft as he could.

His arms gently reach out for your shaking figure. The mercenary is fighting back the tears that started to form in his eyes. Alarms blazed in his head when you tried to hit your head. As if out of instinct, he leaped to engulf you in his arms, preventing you from hurting yourself. He could still hear you mutter through your tears, "stupid me, I shouldn't have– I shouldn't –"

"Shh, stop it, Y/N, please don't hurt yourself. You're alright, I've got you. It's alright. Follow my breathing, okay? In, 1 2 3, hold it, out 1 2 3. Come on, you can do it. Again." You followed Marc's instructions, breathing in and out with him. Marc's hand never stopped circling your back to calm you down and it worked. Once your crying has reduced into small hiccups, you clung onto the back of his shirt as he rocks you back and forth. "There you go, better?"

You moved your head up and down while wiping a single tear. "Yeah," you answered. Looking up at the man, you noticed his eyes were a bit puffy too. Has he been crying? "I'm sorry, Marc."

The dark-haired man patted your head softly. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"They died because of me, my mom and my brother." You paused. "She died giving me a chance to live in this cruel world, and he died saving me to continue living in it. I don't need him to remind me every chance he gets that I killed them because I already live with the guilt every day."

The confession you made sent a jab to his heart. He knows how it feels to be in your shoes. He knows it all too well. When he looked inside your eyes he saw a glimpse of his past, and that was all he needed to know what happened. It was exactly what happened to him, and it pained him to acknowledge it. Marc pulled you into another embrace when your tears started spilling out again. Then somehow when he glanced at the top of your head, he saw the hair that belonged to his younger self, which only caused him to pull you closer.

"It wasn't your fault, kid," he replayed what Steven said to him on their trip down memory lane. "It wasn't your fault that they died. It wasn't anyone's."

Marc's words only trigger more tears to come out of your eyes. You tighten your grip around him, allowing yourself to break down in his arms. It wasn't after a few minutes that you had calmed down. "I don't wanna go back there."

"You don't have to. We'll sort things out later. For now, let's tend those bruises, eh?" Marc helped you get to the couch before he went to grab the med kit. When he was about to get back, you jumped off the couch.

"The scarab!" you shouted, now remembering that Marc had gone for the scarab before you were taken back to your house. The pain going through your body made you wince. "What happened to the scarab? Did you find it?"

The Moon God's avatar ignored your question as he hurried to your place to sit you back down and gave you an ice pack for your black eye. He hesitated to answer you for a moment, afraid of what your reactions might occur. "I did. I saved the world. Kinda."

"What!?" There it is, the reaction. You stood up again, ignoring the pain this time. "You saved the world!? How? What did you do? What happened?"

Marc sighed. "Will you sit back down? You're in pain."

"Please, this is nothing more than knowing you saved the world without me." You scoffed, earning a chuckle from Marc.

"Alright, fine, I'll tell you everything. Now sit back down, kid." You lowered yourself to the couch again, watching Marc start to tend your bruises. "It happened in Cairo."

-

taglist: @andromacher @pauldanos-world @atzlena @blustalker

[o2studies]

༻`` 1 June — Saturday 56/60

🧡 academia >> / (planning to study a lot of Russian as I've finished this year of school now)

🧡 physical health >> I walked a good bit today, there was a kind of fun day at a park and so I went there with a friend and it was SO MUCH FUN!

🧡 self care >> Sleeping in that little bit extra this morning

I went with K today on a single ride 6 or 7 times and it was amazing! So so much fun, we were screaming our heads off (it the one in the middle picture) and enjoying the music and the slightly sick feeling of being spun round at 100mph. It also felt really freeing to just scream and really funny whenever I'd say 'wee' in a childish tone whenever we'd start spinning in the seats again. We went to her house afterwards, had food, watched Emperor's New Groove (1 & 2) and had way too much fun texting out friend from each other's phones. It was an amazing start into summer.

More updates about this last week:

My exams went quite well I think. There is a couple I might have to retake next year but we'll see whenever I get the grades (I'm praying to God they're all A's or at least high B's). I'm quite happy with how they went tho and mostly proud of the revision I've done for them (I have really died down the revision in the last week and was so tired—physically and mentally— of it all)

I've been falling into some depression-related habits on this past week, sleeping in way too late and constantly, not taking care of myself, being really tired in the evenings and just wasting away the afternoons on my phone & isolating. I am already better and I know I'm working to keep being better. I'm really proud of myself for how quickly I'm bouncing back from that

I wrote some more in my journal recently and started writing out some goals for this year's summer! I would like to write at least some of them out on a post here soon and properly reflect on the list.

My parents had a conversation with my the other day about how I'm allowed to get a part-time summer job this year! I'm really excited, it would be good for me in many ways plus it'll keep me slightly more busy in these next 3 months which is good

I also got my driving licence!! Woo!!

I'm talking with my friends more often and really bonding with them too. We're getting a lot more comfortable around each other too (and the friendly flirting sessions we sometimes have are just so fun XD). We are going to make a good few plans for meeting up over the summer.

After the last exam I talked to another friend, A, while waiting for our buses and I forget how much I love having them as a friend. It was really nice to hear more about them and how she's been doing and her plans for the summer. I'm hoping to meet them sometime next week after their Birthday.

This might be it for now.. If I can remember anything else major that's happened I'll make another post to add to this.

Good night/morning everyone :)

[neptunescore]

zak brown hater anon here and heheh. I can’t explain how happy I am seeing Zak Brown look of disappointment after the race. Literally giggling and kicking my feet. I think I’m thriving. McLauren and RedBull were pretty equal but of course McLauren had batter pace at the end. Honestly I’m not mad about this race but also not too happy because this is a triple header. As a McLaren hater I pray on their downfall but as an Oscar fan if they must be successful I hope he’s the one winning.

ANYWAY, while I’m here I guess I’ll talk about the recent drama with Mercedes. My personal opinion, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time but I think Mercedes wasn’t pushing Lewis aside. Did they make questionable decisions? Yes 100%. But at the same time I don’t think they’re purposefully disregarding him just because he’s moving to another team. He’s been with them for years and while I heard Mercedes didn’t offer a promising deal to him in the end it was up to him. Lewis is getting older and it’s his career. Like what he said in DTS to Toto that Toto can continue being in the sport but he can’t. That’s just not possible.

It’s great progress that Mercedes is finally picking up the pace but I do not think the reason the car “magically got better” is because of the recent drama. Some people may have been joking but to those being serious, improving a car does NOT take a weekend. It takes weeks- months- even until the end of the season- to improve the car. We have seen that over the past few races Mercedes have been increasingly faster and a better race pace but it is not because of Lewis and his fans saying he’s being sabotaged. They are still a team and they have their morals and competitiveness- they want to win- why would they push it all away just because their driver is moving to another team?

One thing to note, I do think the social media admin was feeling a bit goofy and was not paying attention to Lewis as much as George. In one way, it’s reasonable with their standings but in the last few races I think it became apparent that the admin is just not paying attention to what’s happening with Lewis. So I understand people’s a very towards that.

I think it’s important to factor in that most of this escalated mainly because of the fanbase. And it kinda disgusts me how everyone is joking (and agreeing with the person who wrote the email) about the email that proceeded to defame the crew in Mercedes (especially Toto and George). If there were any members that WERE against Lewis, I believe it still shouldn’t excuse putting it up against the entire team because then it’s punishing the entire team for a few people that might not even hold important positions to make a difference. (In this scenario I’m talking they aren’t on the same level as who’s on the pitwall). Everyone saying “oh, car is better and not f**ked because of the email” is kinda bs. I will say Mercedes is now making sure they equally support both Lewis and George on social media but on track, the car was always the same. Strategy made the difference and you can argue that George gets the better strategy than Lewis but in the end they are a team. Whoever is in a better position to gain more points will receive the better strategy.

Lewis will always be Mercedes champion but it also doesn’t mean Mercedes can’t win without him. I’ve seen some recent tweets defaming George and- hate him all you want- but he’s a competitive driver. He may not have the skills to make up for it like Nico, but he’s consistently gaining experience and has shown his growth. A good example being the amazing start in the Spanish GP. Yes, he complains a lot, but don’t all drivers? People forget George looks up to Lewis and even if their relationship may have changed over their years as teammates it does not change that Lewis was and still is his role model.

anyone can disagree with me on this ofc. You can think Lewis gets the short end which is totally fine (I can understand your points, don’t get me wrong) but at least do not praise the email for defaming multiple people that might not even be involved if there is anything happening behind the scenes. I love Lewis and I was giggling and kicking my feet seeing him on the podium. I’m super excited to see what else Mercedes can bring to the table and try to fight for wins in the upcoming races. I’m a max fan but Lewis is really close up there (funny, isn’t?) so I can’t wait to see them fighting on track again soon. I feel like I my lifespan extends whenever I see them together on podium and fighting on track.

thank you for coming to my ted talk 🫶

ZB❌️ ANON!!! I missed you pookie😔✋🏽

God, SAMEEE. Like after his comment on how lando could be winning championships if they had the best car, the visceral and pure need that arose in me to see him swallow his words, literally none of u will understand how deep it went😭. BUT LOOK AT MY MAXY FULLFILLING ALL MY DESIRES AND SHOWING THEM THERES A REASON HES CONSIDERED ONE OF THE BEST!!! I LOVE HIM!! And I agree on the oscar part as well, like I'm the biggest mclaren hater to exist (the TEAM, NOT the drivers, please don't come at me ppl😭), but if they're doing anything successful I'd love to watch oscar bring it, acc... ugh, I don't know, I never wanna see that ugly orange on the podium (this is NOT me hating on the drivers, if they're on the podium then they deserve to be there, I just hate mclaren alot guys😔✊🏽)

Moving on to the mercedes drama, I've already made so many posts abt it, but ur ask summarises my opinions perfectly (as always🫶🏼). The main thing pissing me off is the fact that some fans genuinely believe that email, or if they don't, they still joke abt the things that were being said in it. Like, do they not understand how VILE the whole email was?? It literally accuses george of SLEEPING WITH HIS BOSS, says they're plotting to KILL LEWIS, and then makes the most indirect threats against George's own wellbeing. That's absolutely batshit crazy. There's no way anyone should believe/ joke abt that.

As a young POC girl (and just as a fan in general), I literally adore lewis, but the fact that when he was asked abt the hate george was receiving, he just chose to brush it aside and say how 'he's never heard of it' rlly got me irritated. Like, at least tell ppl that any kind of hate, in general, towards any driver is just straight up wrong❌️ and should not✋🏽 be a thing they do.

Anyway, fans that r saying lewis ended up on the podium bc they finally stopped sabotaging his car after the email are just a new level of delulu. I won't even explain this because no f1 fan needs an explanation on how long cars take to be built/ adjusted🙂. Also, in the end these comments are just taking away from lewis' efforts, bc despite the shit car, he STILL managed to put it up on the podium (tho the car rlly did seem to suit this track)

Overall, I personally (none of u need to agree with me) think merc is NOT sabotaging lewis (why would they, the team needs points so bad😭) but they ARE acting shit towards him, especially the social media team.

I love ur Ted talks ZB❌️ anon, come by whenever u want❤️ (what's ur opinion on the carlos and charles situation btw)

[starmergeddon]

To someone who doesn't live in the UK and has only a very basic understanding of the different parties involved, pray could you provide a very brief rub-down of the election situation? Also a side question, where exactly did Rishi Sunak and the Tories in general fuck up? I've been getting a lot of British politics posts on my dash and I was curious. You seem like a reliable fellow to ask :)

Btw you really don't have to answer this ask if you don't want to or if it's too much work. In that case, could you point me in the right direction for some online resources I can refer to? Thank ye very much, cheers!

for context, I recieved this ask the day after the election, and somehow managed to miss it for 3 weeks. oops.

if you don't know how British elections work, here are three youtube videos from Jay Foreman which I recommend: how elections work, how elections don't work, and the bit that isn't elected at all

very long post under the cut...

the british political parties

like the US, the UK is a two-party state. unlike the US, the UK has more than two relevant political parties. here they are, in order of seats won this year:

Labour Party (411 (63.2%) seats, with 33.7% of votes)

won this year's General Election.

led by kid starver, queer harmer Keir Starmer, namesake of this blog.

was the Big Left-Wing Party. has recently become the Big Party which Doesn't Stand for Anything, Really, Except for Winning Elections and Hurting Transgender People, due to Starmer's leadership.

oddly patriotic. wants to establish "Great British Railways" and "Great British Energy". Nobody really knows yet what they mean by this.

former leader Ed Miliband is the man in my pfp, pictured failing to eat a bacon sandwich. Some speculate that this photo was the reason he lost the election in 2015.

Conservative "Tory" Party (121 (18.6%) seats, with 23.7% of votes)

tonight's Big Loser.

led by fishy, dishy Rishi Sunak, but not for long, because they're electing a new leader on Halloween.

was the Big Right-Wing Party. is still the Big Right-Wing Party, but is now also an Embarrassment.

they were in power for 14 years until this election.

Directly responsible for this country's decline over the past... 14 years.

their colour is more of a dark blue, but Tumblr doesn't let me do that.

Liberal Democrat Party (72 (11.1%) seats, with 12.2% of votes)

returned to its rightful place as the Third Party.

led by Sir Ed Davey, who spent the election campaign bungee jumping, playing Jenga, and paddleboarding.

is the Centrist Party that Nobody Really Cares About.

somehow is more left-wing than Labour.

Scottish National Party (SNP) (9 (1.4%) seats, with 2.5% of votes)

tonight's Medium-Sized Loser.

led by John Swinney, who was also their leader like 20 years ago.

unsurprisingly, is the Scottish Independence Party. is also more left-wing than Labour.

their colour is yellow, but Tumblr doesn't let me do that.

Reform UK Ltd. (5 (0.8)% seats, with 14.3% of votes)

Fascist Cunts.

led by Nigel Farage.

not actually a political party, for some reason.

enough said. (for now)

Green Party (4 (0.6%) seats, with 6.7% of votes)

the one I voted for.

co-led by Carla Denyer and Adrian Ramsey.

the Actually Left-Wing Party. Their slogan is "real hope, real change" which sums it up.

Plaid Cymru (4 (0.6%) seats, with 0.7% of votes)

the SNP, but Welsh. (it's pronounced "Plad Cumry")

led by Rhun ap Iorweth. (pronounced "Rune app You're weth")

their colour is dark green, but Tumblr doesn't let me do that.

None of these parties run for election in Northern Ireland, which is part of the UK, but not part of Great Britain. NI is an entirely different situation which I don't know about.

so what actually Happened? Now that the scene is set, I'll go through the events that transpired, from the conservative landslide in 2019 to the conservative demise in 2024.

2019

the Conservatives don't have enough MPs who want to vote for their Brexit plan, so they call a snap general election. in the UK, our elections aren't at regular intervals. ONLY the Prime Minister decides when they happen, within a 5 year limit. this is important later...!

they win a massive landslide victory, with Boris Johnson as their PM. the SNP wins 48 out of 59 seats in Scotland.

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn (affectionately known as Jezza) resigns, as does LibDem leader Jo Swinson.

2020

Keir Starmer takes over as Labour leader, and is immediately very boring. Labour gets more unpopular.

Jezza is kicked out of the Labour party, as are many of his supporters, on false allegations of antisemitism.

Boris finally "gets Brexit done" (this was his slogan.) The Tories get more popular. The Brexit Party changes its name to Reform UK, but they're still considered right-wing extremists

COVID happens. Everyone rallies round the flag. The Tories get more popular.

Boris gets COVID and nearly dies.

top conservative politicians hold parties in Downing Street, breaking their own lockdown rules, but shhhh! nobody knows about that yet! these keep happening until April 2021

The NHS begins to collapse a bit more than it already had, due to Conservative underfunding. The Tories get less popular.

Chancellor Rishi Sunak announces a program giving people discounts to eat out in restaurants. COVID cases spike. The Tories get less popular.

It's revealed that one of the top Tories, Dominic Cummings, broke lockdown rules by visiting family. The Tories get less popular.

End of year - Tories and Labour tied in the polls.

2021

the Queen's husband dies. She goes to his funeral, socially-distanced, alone. on the same day, more Downing Street parties are held.

not much else happens?? until December, when

people start to find out that the Tories were breaking their own rules by partying in Downing Street. Immediately, the Labour Party gains a 7% lead in the polls.

2022 - shit hits the fan

people are MAD about the lockdown parties. it's named Partygate and the police start to investigate.

Russia invades Ukraine. Boris tries to distract everyone by supporting Zelenskyy.

the police conclude their investigation. Boris Johnson becomes the first Prime Minister to have officially broken the law. as a firm punishment, he is fined.... £50. (so are Rishi Sunak, and lots of others.)

Everything gets expensive. Many people are now choosing between eating and heating their home.

Just after this happens, it's revealed that Johnson also gave promotions to a Tory who he knew had committed sexual assault. His cabinet revolts. He is forced to resign as Conservative Party leader. But because he is Prime Minister, he's the only one who can call an election, and he simply chooses not to! because he knows he'd lose!

The new Prime Minister is chosen not by the people, but by the Conservative Party members. people hate this.

Liz Truss beats Rishi Sunak in the final contest. She becomes Prime Minister.

The Queen dies.

Liz Truss crashes the economy. All hell breaks loose. The Labour Party now have a 25% lead in the polls.

The Daily Star starts a YouTube livestream - will Liz Truss leave office before this lettuce expires?

Liz Truss loses control of her MPs. She, too, is forced to resign, just 40 days after becoming PM! Because she doesn't have to call an election, she doesn't.

The lettuce won.

ONCE AGAIN it is up to the Conservative Party leadership to choose a Prime Minister... except nobody wants to be Prime Minister. Rishi Sunak becomes Prime Minister without being elected by ANYBODY

2023

not much extra happens, for a while. people are just sick and tired of the Tories

They decide it's a good idea to try and deport asylum seekers to Rwanda, because immigration is "too high".

Nicola Sturgeon gets bored of being a politician and resigns as SNP leader. Without a clear successor, the SNP destroys itself finding a new leader.

Nicola Sturgeon is also arrested on suspicion of having funnelled money out of the SNP to herself before she resigned! (she's cleared of suspicion, but the public gain a conception of the SNP being corrupt.)

Shit happens in Gaza. The Tories back Israel. Labour, having shifted massively to the right, also back Israel. People become unhappy with both of them, and still are today.

2024

A general election has to happen this year. The Tories are still 20% behind in the polls.

It's announced that the UK entered a small recession at the end of 2023.

Four asylum seekers are sent to Rwanda. They spent £700,000,000 on this.

Rishi constantly dodges questions about when the general election will be, simply saying it will come "in the second half" of the year. Most people think he means autumn.

He did not mean autumn. He calls an election for 4 July, but forgets to bring an umbrella in the process, and gets rained on.

Nigel Farage immediately takes control of Reform UK. (He's allowed to do that because it's technically a company, and as owner of said company he can do what he wants)

Reform UK surges in popularity, reaching 17% in the polls, just behind the Conservatives at 21%

Rishi leaves a D-day event halfway through to give an interview with a TV broadcaster, in which the multimillionaire claimed his childhood was hard because he didn't have Sky TV.

The Conservatives decide to cure their election woes by sending all 18-year-olds to National Service. (ie. military)

It's also revealed that many top Tories placed bets on the election being held on 4 July.

The Conservative Party loses voters to Labour on their left, and to Reform on their right.

election result analysis

where did it go wrong for the Tories? uh, everywhere.

where did it go right for Labour, though? depends who you ask...

voters decisively rejected the Conservatives, choosing either Reform, Labour, or LibDem instead.

however, they weren't enthusiastic about Labour instead. many Labour wins came about as a result of Reform splitting the right-wing vote in half.

polling suggests most people who voted Labour did so to remove the Tories from power.

Fewer people voted for Labour this year than in 2019, but they doubled their seats in Parliament. Our voting system is fucked.

The Green Party quadrupled its seat share. They have won in every seat they have targeted.

Five leftist independent MPs beat Labour in what were "safe" constituencies. One of them was Jeremy Corbyn!! What this shows is that people don't really like Labour, or that people really don't like Labour. They want something better.

The SNP is nearly wiped out in Scotland, despite getting 30% of the Scottish vote. Labour wins most seats in Scotland with 35% of the Scottish vote.

The "Party of Women" (which is literally just TERFs) got fewer votes than the Monster Raving Loony Party. Lmao.

19 people voted for Elmo in Keir Starmer's constituency.

More people voted for the Conservatives and Reform UK combined than they did for Labour. If Labour doesn't get its shit together, we could be in trouble.

what's happened since the election?

7 Labour MPs have already been kicked out of the party for voting to adopt measures to lift 1.6 million children out of poverty

pressure from Greens and independents led to Labour accepting the ICC's arrest warrant for Netanyahu and stopping some arms sales to Israel's genocide.

what happens next?

the Tories choose a new leader on Halloween. other than that? fuck knows lmao. what the 2019-2024 parliament tells us is that anything can happen. as mentioned before, we don't even know when the next election is.

where exactly did Rishi Sunak and the Tories in general fuck up?

you tell me

i also realise just now, after typing all that out, that you asked for a "very brief rub-down" of what happened............. yeah my bad

[cathode-raygirl]

Salvation for a Broken Bot (Chapter 1)

An amateur repair girl finds a severely damaged android abandoned in a junkyard.

This first chapter is sfw but subsequent chapters will be 18+ only. Content warning for a description of a character in a state of disrepair with implied eye trauma.

If you have any questions or feedback feel free to comment or send me an ask!

Rose had visited the abandoned junkyard several times before, but this was the first time she'd come with the intention of stealing.

Half a mile away from anywhere of note, the only sign of civilisation was the distant hum of cars driving down the A22 in the distance. The sound felt relaxing to her, like the waves of the ocean.

She approached the chain link fence surrounding the complex. Someone had repaired the hole she used to enter last time, but she had come prepared. She rummaged around in her backpack and retrieved a pair of bolt cutters. Expertly praying apart rusty segments of fence with her tools, she breached the defences and found herself in a sea of discarded garbage.

From handheld items like phones and radios, to larger appliances like televisions and fridges, the junkyard had it all. But there was one particular prize she was looking for: A robot. It was rare but not unheard of for companies like Ashdown to dump their decommissioned workers in facilities like these, and she was planning on...

Hmm.

She wasn't really sure what she was planning on doing to be honest. Selling one for parts? Repairing it as a passion project? She told herself she'd figure it out later. There wasn't even a guarantee that there *was* anything here anyway. Better to not get her hopes up too early.

She gripped the scanner in her left hand. She'd spent the past week building it, the perfect device for combing for artificial life. The android designs that Ashdown Logistics pioneered had distinctive battery designs to accommodate for their intense workload, and it quickly became the industry standard. If she was able to locate a power supply with the scanner, she *should* be able to locate a bot. In theory. The scanner wasn't picking anything up yet though.

She turned on her torch and began walking deeper into the facility. The scanner's range wasn't particularly good due to the sensor she'd opted to use so-

Her eyes lit up in excitement. A figure! In the distance! Unmoving!

She crept up towards it, her eyes filled instantly with recognition: The body of a robot, slumped backwards over a pile of broken televisions, a steel rod driven perfectly through its left eye, pinning it in place. Most of its pure white hair had been torn away, the few remaining patches blowing gently in the wind.

Its chest had caved in as well, and the silicone plates that covered its rusted internals were covered with dirt and mould.

Rose wondered what had happened to it, how it could have gotten this damaged. It was hard to make it out in the state it was in but it seemed to be some kind of worker bot? Definitely not anything that would normally have combat experience, that's for sure. If any robot rights groups found out about this they'd be having a field day. But more than that... She wondered how her scanner never picked it up.

She ripped the steel rod out of its head and flipped it over. Its charging port was missing, a large cavity in its place. By the looks of it, someone had forcefully removed the battery and several other key components by the looks of it. What *happened* here?

A mystery like this was irresistible to her. If she could somehow repair it, she could interrogate it, and then she potentially had a story she could give to the press, or even one of the robot rights groups. They'd been springing up a lot recently and she was sure at least one of them would take interest. 

She dragged the bot through the muddy ground, through the hole in the fence, and loaded it into her car.

Rose sat on a chair in her workshop, staring at the android in front of her in contemplation. The first thing she needed to do was assess the damages and figure out if it was possible to salvage the bot. A more talented maintenance girl would probably know by now, but Rose was just a hobbyist, so she *really* needed to know what model it was. 

The sticker with this valuable information on had long since been washed away by rain, so she had no choice but to begin disassembling its head in the hopes of finding a motherboard. 

After half an hour's work, the bot's head laid sprawled out in pieces on her desk. She admired the beauty of the intricate mechanisms in front of her, how so many tiny parts could come together to form a believable imitation of a human face. At least, they would if they were in good condition. She could already tell that most of them had either rusted beyond repair or been badly damaged by the blunt force of the steel rod, so they'd have to be replaced. Still, the process should be simple enough once she got the model number.

Inspecting the motherboard, she noticed a peculiar chip with a pink heart on it. She'd never seen something like that before. She took a photo of it and made a mental note to reverse image search it later. Turning the board over, she was met with an unfortunate sight: The Ashdown Logistics logo, and the model number 4MB-3R. 

Ashdown's androids were known for being made with parts that were as closed source and proprietery as physically possible. They refused to release any data sheets or schematics, and the parts that *could* be bought were insanely expensive. No one, not even the smartest engineers of their rival companies had been able to figure out how to create even an imitation of their personality chips, so they held a complete monopoly over the robotics industry. 

Not only that, but the 4MBs were several generations ago. In fact, Rose was almost certain that they had been discontinued in 2002. By now, they were onto the 8MB range, which were mechanically unrecognisable from their 34 year old counterparts. 

Rose slumped backwards into her chair. There was absolutely no way in hell she would be able to buy any replacement parts for this, and she doubted that she'd be able to find any more 4MB units, let alone a 4MB-3R. She had no idea what the difference between the sub units even was, but she was certain it would be significant enough to hinder her progress.

She sighed. It looked like she'd need to take matters into her own hands. There *was* a crude accessory that was compatible with most androids she'd encountered before: A modified cathode ray tube screen could be used to visualise a robot's thoughts. With some training, she was sure that the 4MB-3R could teach itself how to use one as a face. It wouldn't be a great solution by any means but it'd definitely be better than having a caved in, unmoving face. And it wasn’t like the bot would be stuck with it forever, just until she found something better to use.

As for the rest of the body? She could replace the charger port with an external charging system she had lying around, and she was sure she had some spare torso pieces buried *somewhere* in her workshop. There were obviously a lot more parts missing but it'd probably be best to get the basic functionality working first. After all, she wouldn't want to put effort into building a body for an android that might not even be capable of turning on anymore. 

She gazed out her window wistfully, watching the cars pass by below her. In a way, Brighton looked like a giant circuit board, the roads forming tracks between the various buildings, which resembled cathodes, diodes and chips. Or perhaps it was the other way around, and circuit boards looked like cities. 

Despite living in a bustling city, she could never shake away the loneliness she felt in apartment. She was a single, lonely electron in a vast uncaring circuit board, but perhaps she'd be able to find a companion in the form of this bot. And if not, it'd certainly give her something to take her mind off things for a while.

[ Chapter 2: Reconstruction ]

[creepinginyourheartbabecomeonnow]

‼️please help homeless filipino siblings afford a car for shelter and to make a living‼️

This is long, but i hope and pray you consider reading it all, please

hi, im Alex and im sure you've seen me on here the past few weeks, begging for my youngest brother's hospital fees

he's been released and we found our two other brothers on the street begging for food and in a bad condition

we recently lost both our parents so we're left orphans and homeless, we have no other family left

im the eldest and all three of my brothers are underage, i feel bad for not being abled enough to get a job to provide for them

i've been a grab (uber) driver before the bank had to repossess our own car so i had to stop and get different jobs but i dont last because im extremely anemic and i get so physically exhausted

i found a secondhand suv for sale posted on a post, i texted them about it

we met up this afternoon to talk and to check the car. it's old but in a good condition, it's also the cheapest i could find that would fit all four of us comfortably and would stand as a temporary home for us. i was told that the owner has been trying to sell this car for two years for his wife's dialysis with no luck. the car is on sale for 250k PHP or 4,281.12 USD

i really would like to afford this car as it would help us:

have shelter now, we're homeless and have nowhere to go

make a living, i can drive for grab again and also for delivery (this is a job i can actually do fine)

save up to pay for our hospital debts (our dad's when he died, our mom's ambulance fee and my youngest brother's remaining hospital debt)

pay for our mom's ashes (1,275$)

i wouldn't have to be away from my brothers, i cannot leave them alone on their own. they can be with me all the time

save up to pay for a proper place

save up to send my brothers to public school

save up for my brother's asthma medications

save up to get back my two sons that i gave up to the orphanage last year

help the car owner with his own financial problem with his wife's dialysis

this car can change our lives, unfortunately i have 0 anything to afford it. the owner said i only have to give 65,000 PHP or 1,112.99 USD to drive off with it and i can pay the rest of the amount in installments whenever I can. he's very kind and i hope to help him and his family as well

if only 55 people can spare us 20$ to friday Oct 28th, we can drive off with this car for a new start. we haven't properly grieved for both our parents and i hope with this we can finally do it in peace

a reblog to reach a bigger audience would help us a lot as well, i know this seems impossible to reach by friday but i am praying for a miracle to happen to us, just once. thank you and i hope you would consider helping us a bit

[enchanted-wildflower]

22nd of January

Helloo, i'm still alive, I was just really not in the mood to post recently. Here are some pictures from today and last week.

The exam period is over, and my next semester starts tomorrow. I feel like I'm at a changing point in my life. Actually, my boyfriend breaking up with me might have been good for both of us in the end? Idk, I'm still confused, and we also still talk a lot. But yeah, so I realised that I experience chronic stress that is pretty much independent of what is happening in my life and probably a leftover symptom of my PTSD. So I sign up for the gym (even though I haven't gone very much yet, but i'm working on it), and I'll go back to therapy. My first appointment is this week. I also bought a Bible..? Like for private use, not because of my religious studies degree. I didn't see this coming haha. I don't know yet where this is gonna lead, but I just really wanna read it and I have been ignoring the urge to explore Christianity, cause I kind of don't want to be interested in it. But finally I accepted that I actually am interested and started reading it on Friday. It has been great so far!

It's a bible for Gen Z teenagers or something. It gives you video links for further explanations about some chapters and lots of questions to think about for people who have never read the bible. It's a bit tooo modern for me, but oh well.

I don't know yet how this will fit into my spiritual path or if I'll be going into a different direction altogether. I haven't really been practising witchcraft for a while, cause my rational mind just tells me it doesn't work it's not like my experiences really show that it does either, at least not recently. I have been leaning more towards prayer and trying to trust that things will go the way they are meant to. I feel like me reading the bible was kind of inevitable in a way cause I have been praying to La Santa Muerte on and off for years. I pray the rosary for her and I've been interested in the Sacred Heart of Jesus for some years as well. I feel like strict Christians aren't gonna like it haha, cause La Santa Muerte is demonic to them, but I feel like in a way it's her who is pushing me into this direction. So I'm excited to see how this continues :)

[prince-of-rot]

I don’t share a lot of personal things but something interesting happened recently.

My partner is having top surgery (yay!) We must travel for it and must stay in the city where they are getting it for two weeks and initially we were going to stay with their parents. Their parents are eh…. Hardcore right-wing evangelical Christians. So we lied by omission and said it was a health thing. We want to maintain the relationship despite differences for a multitude of reasons.

Well, one thing led to another and my in-laws figured it out. Told my partner of 7 years all kinds of terrible things and told them to accept Jesus and that they could only be fulfilled by Christ, would never be happy unless they return to the church, were about to mutilate themselves, and that gender politics were evil etc.

My partner was very upset of course. They lamented to me that they missed being a Christian sometimes; feeling like they could just have the Christian god fix everything and they didn’t have to worry, etc.

I told them patiently that this was valid BUT that they could still have support with Lucifer at their side without undoing their work to get out of abusive religious compulsions. He wouldn’t fix everything for them. They still had to do hard things. But they didn’t have to be alone spiritually when they did those things. They meditated, prayed to Lucifer on this and then drafted a script to address their parents. And let me tell you… it worked so well!

The parents still don’t like it, still think we should be Christians and divorce each other and be straight cis folks. But they agreed to being civil and to not bringing up this topic again. We can also still stay with them.

And finally, we had been hiding our non-binary pronouns around them for ever. Asked family members to code switch etc. my beautiful handsome partner set the record straight, told them they would hear this, we had no expectations they would participate, but that we weren’t going to hide that either

And they accepted that as well! That last part wasn’t even part of the script but they were so emboldened, they laid it out anyway.

This is the kind of growth Lucifer wants for us. To demand better, to push back against authority who cares so little for our true selves, and to walk with us, instead of for us. He wants us to advocate for ourselves, to do the hard the thing - and to know we don’t have to do it alone. Whatever that hard thing is, whatever “skill” it takes, even if just getting out of bed and taking our pills or showering, or applying for that job, or standing up to bigotry? It doesn’t matter. He wants us to grow at our pace, to do the hard thing, and know he will walk with us in that path. He will shine the light for us.

Truly, stupendous.