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swallowtail-lotus · 1 year ago

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Two is better than one {Hades x Goddess!Reader x Poseidon} (NSFW!)

Repost

I don't feel too proud of this tbh

Warnings: 18+, double penetration(yes please-), Poseidon being poseidon (probably ooc for the first part), pussy eating, creampie, mentions of overstimulation

_________

How did this happen?

One minute you were just minding your own business when one of the many servants of Poseidon told you to come over to their master's underwater palace, you get there and the next minute, you're in his room, trying to keep quiet as he mercilessly slams into you with incredible force. With every thrust, he was either dead silent or letting out quiet grunts.

"L-Lord Poseidon! What's the- Ah! meaning of this?" You managed to groan out, your lower region filled up with the god's length. Poseidon didn't respond and continued to slam in you. Your wrists were pinned to the bed by his hands.

What gotten into him all of a sudden? He was never like this before. He was always so distant from everyone, except for his older brother, Hades. Physical touch isn't something he approved of unless you meant something to him.

"Silence. You have no need to speak."

His words came out harsh, but that's just how he speaks to anyone (if he gave them the time that is). You shut your mouth after that, but it was proven to be difficult with his cock buried deep inside your entrance. Since one of his hands had your wrists pinned down, all you can do to keep quiet was to seal your lips.

Through your half lidded eyes, you try to took the time to bask in the surprising beauty the sea god has. His wavy blonde locks moving in sync with his thrusts, the sea blue eyes staring right into your own, muscles flexing from gripping both your wrists and the spot beside your head.

This whole situation was confusing on its own.

Then you remembered. A while back, Poseidon had asked for your hand in marriage. Being a goddess who wanted to wait, you politely declined the proposal. You guessed that didn't sit well with the God.

As if it couldn't get any more shocking, his older brother, Hades asked the same thing! Like before, you rejected and went on with your day.

Was Poseidon... Jealous?

Your questions were interrupted by the tip hitting your womb repeatedly. A surprised gasp left your lips, soon turning to whimpers.

"You'll regret rejecting me." He hissed, his hips bucking even faster than before. Your walls clenched around his cock, the organ twitching against them. You heard Poseidon take sharp inhales through his teeth, possibly a sign he was close. You felt yourself getting close too.

"I'm-" You could barely finish that sentence when his load shot into you, some of it leaking out of your pussy. Just as you were about to cum, he pulled out. Your legs twitched in place, slowly closing them to prevent anymore of his load coming out.

"W-why did you-"

"You don't deserve it yet." He interrupted you by answering your unfinished question. Your hand immediately went down to finger yourself when he loosen his grip on your wrists, but he stopped you from doing so.

"I said you. Don't. Deserve. It." He repeated, some hostility in his bland tone. You whimpered again, desperately grinding on the bed. His hands began to roam your body, not showing a hint of remorse to your current state. You couldn't take it anymore, and soon your juices came out. Until you were done, you fell back on the bed, your hair spread out and face flushed.

"Just from my touch? How pathetic." Poseidon spoke, eyeing your wet clit. You couldn't care less about his words, you were just glad this was all over...

Or so you thought...

~~~~~~~~~~

One month has passed, and you haven't been more relieved to see Poseidon as his usual self. Ever since that day, you've tried your best to avoid him more than ever. Originally, you found yourself sitting/standing next to the God, now you distance yourself by standing near other gods. When one of the servants searched for you, you'd hide.

But another problem began to rise up as soon as Hades came in. Except he was the problem.

Just like Poseidon, he was persistent in his advances, but he was also very subtle. However, it did get annoying over time. Sure, the flowers and jewellery were great gifts, and you appreciate them all, but sometimes it got on your nerves.

One day, a minor god fearfully approached you to tell you about Hades wanting to see you for important matters. This was unexpected, seeing how Hades rarely asks for anyone unless it was really urgent.

"I'll be there. Although I don't see why he needs me of all people." You commented, mostly to yourself. You made your way to the underworld, greeting Cerberus with a pat on the three heads. You managed to find the God, looking handsome as ever with his hair slightly messed up and his face not ruined in the slightest.

"Lord Hades? Why did you ask for me?" You questioned, your (e/c) eyes wide with curiousity. The God looked up from the desk, his normally stoic face softening at the sight of you.

"I just need your help with something." He answered, standing up from the desk. You watched him make his way towards you, his eye shining under the light. Before you could react, he trapped you between his arms, towering over you.

"I need you to answer me. Why did you reject me?" He leaned closer to your face, his lips only a few centimetres from yours. You were too afraid to respond, and being this close to the god wasn't helping.

"W-well, Lord Poseidon asked for my hand in m-marriage, and seeing you do the same c-caught me off guard.." Your response was barely a whisper, but given how close both of you were, Hades definitely heard it.

Hades took the time to properly admire your beauty, stroking your cheek with a small smile.

"I don't blame my brother. You remind me of the River Styx." You blinked at the comment he made. It was an odd way to compliment someone, but knowing Hades, this wasn't too surprising.

"How so?" You asked. Hades kept quiet, leaning even closer and left soft kisses on your neck, his hands moving to your sides. Your whole body shook in his hands, your eyes staring up at the ceiling.

His lips were strangely soft, but cold. He moved up from your neck to your lips. Unlike Poseidon, it wasn't forced but instead sweet, the coldness was nice against yours. Instead of fighting it, you caved in, moving your arms up to wrap them around his neck. You felt his hands trail down to your hips, hoisting you up by your thighs. You felt his bulge rub against your inner thigh.

His tongue came out to lick your lips, as if asking for permission. Your lips moved, enabling the god to wrestle with your tongue. He pulled away, much to your disappointment.

"L-Lord Hades.." You shuddered out, drooling slightly. Hades kept you up, unbuckling his pants with one hand. He used that hand to rip off your dress along with your panties. Once he was done, he put his hand under your right thigh, his cock out and fully erected. Your eyes widen at the sheer size of his length, which was about 7 inches. The tip had precum oozing out and poked at your entrance. Your heart was beating fast right now, legs trembling in his hands.

"May I?" The God inquired, his lips forming a smirk. You nodded eagerly, your hands now gripping his shoulders. After adjusting himself, he thrusted in slowly, burying his head in the right side of your neck. Out of instinct, you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

"Fuck." Hades hissed in your ear, biting the lobe while bucking his hips faster. He was different than Poseidon, who did fill you up but not like Hades. Hades was the right size to hit you in the right spot. With every thrust, it brought you over the edge of pleasure. He picked up the pace, his breathing fanning your ear. One harsh thrust, you came all over his cock.

All of a sudden, Hades stopped completely, moving from your neck and his dick still inside. Your face turned to confusion, watching Hades with caution. Hades brought you to his desk, turned you over on your stomach. Your chest was pressed against the hard surface, your wetness dripping out. His warm, rough hands caressed your hips, his thumbs gently rubbing your skin. His length brushed against your ass, the underside sliding up and down.

You let out a gasp of shock when he slammed into your ass, rising up on your toes.

"I've been stressed lately, being a king is quite tiring, wouldn't you agree?" He teased suggestively, pressing himself against your back. Hades left soft kisses on your shoulder and neck, his hands now groping your chest. Your tongue hung out of your mouth, eyes rolled back to the back of your skull. The desk nudged forward from Hades constantly slamming into you.

Hades chuckled near your ear, couple of grunts here and there.

"Want me to use you all I want?" He asked, his fingers trailing along the lips of your pussy. You were too caught up with the bliss to answer back. Hades didn't wait for your response and shoved his fingers inside. He grunted out that he was close, which was barely audible, but you heard it crystal clear. Once he was satisfied, his pulled his fingers out, your cum coating his fingers. He takes one long lick at his fingers, tasting the liquid.

"Much sweeter than I thought."

One final thrust, his load came out in your ass and he pulled out. You caught your head when it was about to drop to the side, your face feeling heated up from the session. You managed to lift yourself up, panting heavily.

"Good little dove. You can stay here until you're ready to leave, okay?"

~~~~~~~~~

It's been four months since that happened, but you felt disappointed. Disappointed that it didn't last as long as you had hoped for, but it was fun nonetheless.

Hades was kind enough to take care of you until you were perfectly fine after that.

Now, an invitation from Zeus himself to an event was unexpected, seeing how you sometimes had trouble talking to gods from other pantheons. You wanted to decline, but knowing the supreme god, you decided to go so you wouldn't have to deal with his constant persistence. You are close to Zeus, but you thought your friendship wasn't this serious.

"You finally accepted my invitation! The first time in centuries, too!" Zeus exclaimed once he saw you. You gave him a smile and waved at him. Thankfully, he didn't try to approach you and stayed in his place.

You had to admit, Zeus does know how to keep parties lively. You thought you were gonna be bored in an instant, but Zeus proved you wrong. Even so, you still preferred to stay away from the other gods.

After two hours, you decided to leave. After roaming the huge corridors, you heard distant voices over the music. Slowly growing bored, you went over to check it out. You found the voices to be both gods who had longed pursued you.

Hades and Poseidon. And it seems that they weren't agreeing with each other on something.

"What the- may I ask why were you arguing?" You asked, looking at both gods, expecting an answer. Hades was the one who stepped up.

"We were simply discussing about you." Hades answered, lifting your chin up to look into your beautiful (e/c) eyes. Poseidon can only stare at his older brother with his usual emotionless face.

"Discussing what, exactly?" You asked, placing on your hands on your hips.

"About marrying one of us." Hades chuckled when he saw your frown. You wanted to groan out of annoyance, but you wasted that energy with the party. You sighed out, lowering your head.

"How many times must I say this? I don't want to marry neither of you!" You shouted, pretty upset they can't take the hint. The brother looked at each other and grabbed you by the wrist, leading you to a bedroom. You wanted to fight back, but they were one of the strongest gods in Valhalla.

Thinking back on the times where they made love to you, you had thought you hated it, but now you don't.

You stopped resisting and let them throw you on the bed. Poseidon slowly leaned down towards your face, forcefully pressing his lips to yours. His tongue overpowered your tongue, his hand groping your chest roughly.

"We can always do it the hard way, dove." Hades kneeled down in front of your clit, took off your clothes and immediately licked your pussy, holding your thighs up. You moaned in the kiss, wondering whenever to mess with Poseidon's hair or leave it be.

Hades pushed his tongue inside, face buried deep in your entrance. Poseidon shot back from you, his chest moving slowly from his breathing.

Hades pulled back, your pussy already wet. He stood up straight, climbing on the bed and set himself behind you. Poseidon shifted to position himself in front of you, setting his hands on your thighs. Without thinking, you moved your hands to undo Poseidon's pants, to which the latter didn't stop you. Hades lifted you up by the hips, positioning you on top of both their cocks. Their lengths slowly slide inside both your holes.

Thankfully, both of them let you take some time to adjust to their lengths and they start moving their hips. They went slow, but the pent up energy they had took over them and their hips moved at speeds unimaginable.

"Oh my- My lords-" Two hands groped your breasts, pinching your perked nipples.

"Good girl~" The grip on your tits tighten, two tongue taking each side of your neck. The lovebites they're leaving were much harder, and possible could leave bruises. All the stimulation previously held in had come flowing out, the cum leaking out both your holes.

Much to your confusion, they didn't pull out, but rather continued their animalistic thrusts.

"A-ah wait-" You tried to plea, but it fell on deaf ears. Their grunts filled your ears and the air in the room, the two gods not showing a single sign of stopping.

They never stopped until you eventually milked Poseidon's cock after the 5th round. After it was all over, you collapsed.

The next morning, your clit and ass were still extremely sore from last night. It was hard but you managed to get off the bed, only to stumbled forward. On the small nightstand laid a piece of paper, which you assumed to be a letter of sorts. You scurried over to read the letter, deciding to get back on the bed. You opened the letter, reading it over and over again.

Don't think we're done yet. See you real soon, my dove~

#yeah not my best lmao #record of ragnarok #record of ragnarok x reader #record of ragnarok x reader smut #record of ragnarok hades x reader #record of ragnarok poseidon x reader #hades x reader #poseidon x reader #ror x reader #snv x reader

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waokevale · 1 year ago

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Introducing Follower gang!

There. Finally did all the Bishops follower designs!

The 7 deadly sins

And some other follower gang, done with lineart this time because the other 2 pieces made me lose my soul for how long they took.

(Also a small HC if I may: Dr. Sozonius is trapped inside the mushroom on Sozos head, while the actual mushroom is controlling his body)

+ some more doodles

Info about the 7 Sins and more doodles below:

Jeg represents Greed - he was one of the first of Lamb's followers. (At first, it was very difficult for Lambert to indoctrinate people, due to their inexperience, this guy was like the 5th or so) Jeg has...a very specific personality to say the least, yet the Lamb can't help but be fond of him. They eventually nominate him the Tax enforcer role and...That might've been the worst decision of their life. But they did not take the role away. Jeg acts smug 24/7 and relishes in his new power, but deep down, dudes pretty insecure, ( but don't tell anyone!) He used to have a huge crush on the lamb, but then Narinder and eventually the other bishops came, and since their leader was for some reason head over heels for the ex god of death, Jeg grew bitter and often got into fights with Nari, as well as charging him and his other siblings more than the average follower. Though he's mostly mellowed out since then.

Brash represents Gluttony They despise Helob, since they used to fight for "food" a lot, and eventually Brash got really injured and was found by the Lamb. She tried to eat them, but was quickly disarmed. Despite this, they decided to spare him and bring his sorry ass back to the cult to indoctrinate. They were very cunning and didn't trust the lamb either, but eventually they cooled off and accepted the new life. She still eats people tho, just not from the cult, otherwise jail or *worse*

Yara represents Pride She is one of the core followers. She's very strict and somewhat self-centered, she likes things done her way, or if not her way, the lambs way. Period. No one else can boss her around or even give a helpful advice. She's actually a pretty stand up deer, and despite being incredibly stubborn still makes a good friend. She gets along with most people though Brash annoys her, since he keeps snatching body parts off corpses. She has always been extremely devoted to the lamb and will be annoyed if any follower dissents and tries to preach against them. She wasn't surprised in the slightest when they eventually took down all the bishops.

Thorn represents Envy He had a pretty terrible life before the cult. When he was brought in, she was bitter about her newfound situation. He wasn't very trusting of the lamb and thought they expected something out of her (which technically they did, but it's just work). He envies the fools who are so oblivious and just do everything as they're told and let their lives be guided by some amateur god. Similar to the other two, he puts on a mask, He often acts overly saccharine to hide his true feelings, but doesn't have any bad intentions. (Most of the time) She does genuinely like some people, but others, he only pretends to like to appease the lamb or to blackmail them. He hates when the people he actually cares about are threatened.

Jermo represents Wrath Jermo absolutely does not trust anyone. Similar to Thorn, and most other followers tbh, their life was absolutely horrible prior to the cult. They trusted some people, they got betrayed, and almost died several times because of it. It was extremely difficult for the lamb to make them stop dissenting. They legit had to give them the loyalty necklace in order for them to finally stop dissenting. Jermo keeps getting into fights with other followers, because they feel as though everyone is always against them or is constantly judging them. (They're technically not wrong) They've died 5 times, because they keep getting into fights with other followers. Lamb strongly considered keeping them dead, but decided to challenge themself with them (also they're too cuddly to just be killed off) Despite their many, *many* flaws, Thorn has a huge crush on them, since he's one of the people who managed to see their soft side. Jermo, deep, deep, deep down actually cares a lot, but they've been hurt too much by everyone, so they retaliate for the same stuff to not repeat.

Herett represents Lust At some point, she passingly heard about the cult and since it seemed like a peaceful place from the rumors (and also had hot people in it) she eagerly joined in. She's usually in the kitchen area, if not hanging around the love tent or babysitting some kids. She crushes on almost everyone, but for some reason she hates Kallamar (legit in my actual game she rejected him so hard, despite having the lustful trait and not caring prior)

Mateo represents Sloth Is perhaps the 1st or 2nd of Lambs followers, so they're absolutely not letting go of him, dudes lived 4 long lives and is tired of it, he keeps switching jobs since with age he's been slacking off more. He's currently stuck as a janitor (he hates it) He's also one of the few people who managed to befriend Jermo, his mellow, don't care attitude is somewhat comforting to them. Aside that, he gets along with almost everyone, as best as he can at least.

Not much else to say about the gang in the third pic but Riley and Dannie are platonic bffs and were forced to babysit kids when the lamb was crusading. The lamb was a little incompetent here to give carnivores children to take care of, but thankfully they actually managed to be good with them and got used to being on nanny duty.

The capybara (Beige) is a retired teacher and adopted a little owlet to take care of (Chip)

While Femur is our below yellow cat, and that's my HC name for him. He's a gatherer here.

#cotl #cult of the lamb #cotl lamb #cotl narinder #cotl toww #cotl leshy #cotl helet #cotl kallamar #cotl shamura #cotl oc #cotl ocs #cotl sozo #cotl yellow cat #more ocs #cotl fanart

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taegimood · 8 months ago

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— fate (c.sb) ♡

pairing: choi soobin x fem!reader genre: angst, fluff, smut rating: nsfw, mdni wc: 1.1k warnings: mention of reader’s toxic ex (emotional neglect, abandonment), unplanned pregnancy, body insecurity, pregnancy/breeding kink, brief smut, let’s ignore the questionable timeframe lmao (anyway other than that it’s vv fluffy and soobin is the greenest of green flags >3<)

a/n - this is actually not at ALL what i had originally planned for this concept, it was supposed to just be another one of my lighthearted smutty ramblings (which i might still do in a separate post cuz this concept + soobin’s breeding kink is too juicy for me to pass up lmao) but i like it regardless.. i haven’t done an actual writing piece in ages. this one might be weird tbh lol but i hope you enjoy ~ [written w my lovely @miupow in mind <3]

masterlist

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it had been 12 months since you met the man who you thought would be forever — foolishly, blindly — the memory as bitter as the winter when you first saw him, mistaken then as something sweet.

it had been 10 months since you began to give him everything that he wanted — the body and the heart that you were never one to gift lightly — convinced that it was love, that it meant more in his eyes which you could never truly seem to read (though you always managed to fool yourself that you could).

it had been 6 months since you started doing anything and everything to make him keep wanting you, losing yourself so slowly in the process that you couldn’t even see it until one day suddenly you did.

it had been 3 months since he left you faster than the changing season when you told him the news, a hurricane of empty eyes and venomous words thrown like daggers that left you bleeding…

and it had been 3 months with a baby in your belly when choi soobin came into your life.

this time, the winter was nothing in comparison to the softness of his smile and the sunlight in his eyes when he stepped through that coffee shop door and into your forever.

—

soobin knew from the moment he saw you that you were someone he could see himself falling in love with.

he had no idea what made you say yes when he asked if you would have a cup of coffee with him;

(maybe it was the fact that he tripped and spilled his milkshake all over you while trying not to look like a loser as he passed by your table and then profusely promised to make it up to you and your poor pair of soiled sweatpants);

and he also had no idea what kept your pages closed even as he got to know you, what kind of shadow it was that would pass over your eyes at his compliments or what made you flinch at an accidental touch of your hands —

but he did know that more than anything he had ever wanted,

he wanted to see the smile reach your eyes.

falling in love with soobin came easily.

no matter how hard you first tried to fight it, deny it, run from it… it was as if loving him was something that you were simply made to do.

every soft smile, every careful touch, every word a caress as gentle as the breeze on a summer sunrise; every part of soobin slowly began to fill the cracks of your shattered heart with gold.

the day that he found out about the baby was the day that he told you his heart was yours.

“i know it hasn’t been long and i know i may sound crazy, but whatever happens or whatever doesn’t, y/n, i will love this baby, and i will love you.”

if this child’s father was a starless night then soobin was entire galaxies, the warmth and resoluteness in his eyes enough to melt away any claim that that man had left behind, and as far as you two were concerned, this baby’s real father was standing right here at your side.

——

it’s become harder to find room to love yourself these days as the months go on; your growing belly making it difficult to feel attractive, the insecurities that came with those months of feeling unwanted slowly creeping back into your mind and telling you that you’re not enough to make him stay.

logically, you know that your pregnant body is the only body of yours that soobin has so far seen, and of course here he is still wanting you — he proves it almost every night — but regardless you find yourself crippled by doubt and shame.

frowning at yourself in the mirror after every shower, stuck between the bubbling feelings of love for your baby and the guilt of hating how your body looks because of it.

little do you know, soobin has realized something about himself that he never saw coming before:

your pregnant body has him absolutely losing his mind.

he’s never felt so turned on in his life than when he’s got you laid across his sheets in the evenings with the curve of your swollen belly brushing against him as he slowly fucks into you, your tits full and bouncing softly with each thrust, small hands clutching onto him, your face flushed and beautiful and more undone than he’s ever seen it — free to let go of yourself in his arms.

it’s in these moments that he’s convinced he was made to worship your body with everything that he’s got.

soobin is so desperately attracted to every part of you, so determined to pour his love into you as many times as it takes for you to be able to see exactly what he sees every day;

he can’t help himself, can’t keep it in as he ravishes your cunt, the things he moans and whispers like a prayer in your ear enough to send shivers straight down to your core and push you over the edge every time.

you’re so so beautiful, baby, gonna be the most beautiful mama..

he touches you like he’ll never get the chance again.

perfect belly, perfect tits.. wanna fill you up like this, want you pregnant with my babies, f-fuck-

his name falls like a chant from your lips;

wanna give it all to you one day- wanna make you my wife and fill you up all round and pretty- you’re just s-so pretty, bunny, so perfect.

you feel prettier each time you fall apart.

i love your body, love our baby,

‘n i love you,

i love you,

i love you.

and when you ask him one morning if he means those things he always says, watching as a familiar rosy hue dusts across his dimpled cheeks, soobin takes your hand in his and promises you a lifetime.

——

it’s winter — your favorite season.

the air is crisp and full of starlight as you take a deep breath, the world falling quiet when you meet your husband’s eyes.

“the kids are asleep,” he whispers from the doorway,

and you’ve never been gazed at so tenderly.

you think about where you started and where you are now.

it’s been 5 years since choi soobin walked into your life, bringing the glimmering sun along with him.

5 years since he began showing you the meaning of well-kept promises and honest eyes,

of things that last and things that are allowed to be let go.

5 years since you welcomed your first child into your arms

and 3 since you welcomed your second; all beaming smiles and dimples just like her daddy;

and it’s been 12 months since your belly started growing with your third.

as you look down at the sleeping baby in your husband’s arms, every severed string of the past melts into one.

you smile at the boy from the coffee shop.

he smiles back, and soobin has all he’s ever wanted, because he has you —

because finally the smile reaches your eyes,

and he’s home.

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lemonade4wanda · 1 year ago

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Isolation

Part two of the craving you series (part 1)

Dark! Wanda Maximoff x reader

Minors dni!! Masterlist°•☆

Summary - you settle into your new job while Wanda undos your life

Warnings - manipulation, dark Wanda, obsessive Wanda, unhealthy obsession, breaking and entering, theft, bribery, catnapping, Wanda calls herself mommy, not proofread again srry

Words - 1.8k

A/n - this took me ages to write srry, I still think part one is better tbh

When you first got the job as Wanda's personal assistant you expected it to be strange like the meeting you'd had in her office prior, the one in which she'd has you begging on your knees. Much to your surprise however Wanda was more professional than ever, keeping to herself and only talking about work matters. Little did you know this was because she was too busy eyeing you up to make conversation.The job itself wasn't much too difficult either perhaps even easier than your original job and for the same wage. Your days consisted of planning phone calls, picking up mail, getting her lunch and coffees, taking notes in meetings, arranging taxis, responding to emails and then collapsing in to bed with your darling cats.

Wanda watched on eagerly as you slipped into a blissful false sense of security over the weeks working. Enjoying every second especially since she got to gaze at you every second of the day. The way you did your hair each morning, how you rolled around your wheeled chair had you been sat too long, the same pen you always fiddled with in meetings, how your nose scrunched when your were confused, the cuteness of your little yawns when you were tired. It was all the little quirks she hadn't got to see in you before that she grew to love now.

Her obsession love for you only grew the more time you'd spent with her. Your little smiles and nervous way of talking had her fighting back blush. Wanda was always ever so excited for you to go out on some pointless errand so she could take a look in your bag, one time even being lucky enough to find your treasured journal. Her favourite page, which she took photos of so she could re read it anytime, read as; 'my boss Wanda has been more kind than I could ever wish for, with giving me a new job instead of just throwing me out onto the streets. I wish she could know how grateful I am to still be employed as she could have easily had rid of me. I've always had such a good gut feeling about her as a boss and it's finally been proved correct.

I'd never admit this aloud as I don't think it's appropriate for work but I think Wanda is possibly one of the most pretty women I've ever met, she always has a radiant smile when she looks at me joined with such cute freckles.' Oh if only you knew how Wanda swooned when she read that entry.

Slowly though this new found closeness was not enough for Wanda, she felt as if your gratefulness was dwindling and the time you spent together was hardly enough for what she craved. For what she needed.

Wanda needed a new way to make you come to her to make you rely on her. She needed something you loved, she just had to think of what. That's when she figured it out, she was watching you through her computer one night as you lay in bed peacefully sleeping beside your cats. She knew how much you loved them, how lost you'd be without them.

Her plan was simple, tell you she was going out for lunch with a friend when really she was heading over to your flat to take Marlo and Nixie. Arriving at your flat she saw the front door unlocked and tutted to herself, how silly you really were lucky she was looking out for you or someone could have just waltzed right into your home. Stepping through the front door she was overwhelmed with a euphoric feeling of being surrounded by you and your things. Briefly forgetting about the cats she went around your room, going through your wardrobe, admiring your jewellery and lying down in your bed. But all that wasn't enough for Wanda she wanted a little souvenir from her trip and that's exactly what she got. Going back into your wardrobe she carefully went through your underwear drawers deciding to take a matching red lacey set with rhinestoned buckle, you wouldn't need them anyway the only person you should be trying to impressing was her.

After successfully stifling your underwear she moved onto getting the cats. She'd brought her own little carriers for them, Wanda was no monster of course she'd never harm the small animals you held so close she'd just keep them safe and away from you for a while. Marlo was easy enough to convince to get in the carrier being friendly and easy going almost just like you however Nixie was another story hissing and trying to claw at Wanda anytime she tried to pick her up. Lucky for her shed planned this having overheard you discussing with a coworker several weeks ago about how Nixie didn't tolerate strangers unless she had some catnip. Needless to say she'd prepared for this event. Smiling to herself as she poured the catnip into the carrier and trapping the unsuspecting Nixie inside.

The next day at work Wanda hid her smirk well when she saw you shuffle in with puffy bloodshot eyes with big dark circles underneath, deciding to feign concern instead.

"Oh darling, what's up? You can tell me anything." A comforting smile on her face makes you sure you can talk to her about the cats.

"My.. my cats went missing and no one can find them." Your voice is hoarse from crying as you speak and more tears threaten to fall from your eyes.

"That's no good at all sweet girl." She stands from behind her desk walking over and engulfing you into a strong hug. "If there's anything I can do to help you at this difficult time don't hesitate to let me know." She tells you in a warm voice as she pulls your head closer into her chest making it hard for you not to become flustered.

"Thanks, thank you miss Maximoff." Your stumble through your reply while burying yourself into her strong body.

A few days later and your cats still haven't returned and you find yourself further falling into despair.

That's when you find a letter in your house. One that pushes you over the edge. The one you never wanted to see. An eviction notice. It felt like the life you'd fought so hard for, one you'd dreamed of since childhood was being torn apart before your eyes. As if God was punishing you for some unforgivable sin.

Wanda watched on eagerly as she saw you find the eviction note in your pile of post, a sick grin contorting on her face at the sight of your misery, at the knowledge she'd be the one to bring you back up. The one to heal you. The one you'd grow to adore, worship and crave as she did you.

Of course she was at fault for that letter after having heavily bribed your landlord to get rid of you. At first he was much opposed claiming you to be 'one of his best tenants' and how you never missed rent but after seeing the cash being offered to evict you he couldn't help himself. Wanda knew he'd break easily after all Money really is the root of all evil.

When she saw you sobbing at the kitchen table, shaking hands clutching the eviction notice she wished she could comfort you and tell you it'd all be okay. To hold you tight like she did not a few days ago. Wiping the tears from your delicate face, once you were hers you'd never feel this kind of pain again. Your suffering was only temporary but still it broke her heart to see you so down. Obviously she'd never regret what she'd done. It was all for you.

When you were next in work you felt and were sure you looked like hell. All your energy had been spent trying to find somewhere new to stay but all properties nearby were so expensive or just boxes. Your regular floral dresses had been replaced with knit sweaters and plain black trousers as if this was your autumn, the beginning of your end. When you saw Wanda it didn't help the way you felt when she appeared more put together than usual, her suits crisper somehow and jaw sharper as if while your life fell apart hers had blossomed.

"Darling, you look ill has something happened?" She asks with a practised act of sympathy, she already knew exactly what had happened after all she'd orchestrated the undoing of your life.

"My landlord evicted me for no reason and-.. and-.." You felt yourself becoming choked up as you struggled to tell Wanda what had happened. She picked up on your feelings almost as if in tune with your mind and quickly pulled you into her before beginning to stroke up and down your back in comforting patterns.

"Its okay, I'm here darling. Nothing bad will happen just tell mommy what's wrong." Your eyebrows raised at what she called herself but for some inane reason decided against questioning her.

"And.. I cant find anywhere to stay and my-.. m' cats are still missing and I'm gonna be homeless." She knew youd begun crying when she could feel damp on her blouse where your head lay. Wanda pulled your head back to face her and stroked across your cheeks in such a gentle fashion that you felt you legs may give out beneath you.

"Well you could always.. nevermind it wouldn't be appropriate." She says with pause to look down at your face. "Oh screw it. I can't stand to see you go homeless over some stupid eviction, y/n if you wanted you could stay in my home until you find somewhere permanent." What Wanda hadn't quite anticipated was the way your eyes lit up at the suggestion, she thought you'd have needed much more convincing than you did.

"I.. if your sure it wouldn't be a bother."

"Sweet girl you could never bother me."

That night Wanda took you over to her house and gave you a tour. It was the biggest and fanciest place you'd ever been. More things existed than you thought one person could need. She had everything from pools to inside tennis courts, acres full of forest land to a sauna. You finally understood what it must feel like to be rich. Wanda claimed her guest rooms were under renovation so you'd have to share her room for now. When you accepted sleeping next to her she was so ecstatic she could barely hide it behind the mask of sympathy anymore.

Tags: @reginassweetheart @alexawynters

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margowritesthings · 4 months ago

Text

I'll Be Home for Christmas (If Only in My Dreams)

A Christmas gift for @cassidylynnj <3

Being shut away in a safehouse wasn't exactly how you wanted to spend this Christmas, but somehow Steve and Bucky manage to bring some festive cheer to you.

pairing: Steve Rogers x reader x Bucky Barnes word count: 5520 words warnings/tags: starts out a little sad, flirty Bucky, ever so slight suggestive language, brief mentions of passed loved ones/grief, lots and lots of festive fluff tbh authors note: Happy belated Christmas! I wrote this as a fic exchange with my wonderful friend @cassidylynnj. A lot of this was completely new to me, including writing Steve, but I loved creating it! I hope y'all have had a lovely, restful season and I wish you all the absolute best for 2025!

Christmas divider by @saradika-graphics

Endless white nothing.

It’s been 3 weeks since that day, when Bucky showed up at your work with a packed bag and a deep line between his brows, ushering you out and promising to explain when you got there. Where there is, you’re still not sure. James drove for hours, and once it got dark, it was difficult to decipher any road signs. He dodged every question, though you spotted that wince he couldn’t hide every time you asked how long you were going to be gone. Your heart sank a little, your Christmas shopping list still lying discarded on the kitchen island now.

The two of you drove deep into the woods, the headlights the only things leading the way around winding paths and douglas firs. Steve was already waiting for you at the cabin, so secluded you’re sure somebody threw a dart at a map to decide where to build the thing. Bucky always was harder to read, but the second you saw Steve’s face, you knew something was horribly wrong. The tension in his jaw, the way neither of them could properly look you in the eye in case they saw just how sad you were and caved. They told you everything, taking it in turns to divulge all the terrible, awful details, but you could hardly concentrate over the ringing in your ears. The short of it was this: Avenger’s loved ones were being targeted and people were getting hurt. Laura Barton had been attacked on her own farm, and somebody had shown up at Morgan’s school. The others were taking precautions and Steve and Bucky weren’t planning on being exceptions. You’d stay here, in hiding, while other family members of Avengers were scattered around the globe until they neutralised the threat. This little cabin in the woods was to be your home… for as long as it took.

The first week was almost peaceful. Steve and Bucky came and went between watch shifts and meetings, and even though you had to ditch your phone on the way here, it kind of felt like a detox. None of the noise of daily life, a forceful break from social media, not even the mad Christmas rush at work. The log cabin was small, but cozy. Draughty, but the boys made sure the fireplace was always stoked. Completely isolated, but a little bubble that Steve and Bucky visited to cuddle and eat with you and every so often stay over. Sometimes, it’d just be one, but occasionally you’d be lucky enough to get squished up between the two of them while they showed you just how grateful they were that you were safe. There was even a stunning view, picturesque trees dusted with snow, tiny flakes falling from the sky.

But as bubbles often do, it burst. One week turned to two which turned to three, the possibility of going home for Christmas becoming bleaker. Your boys got busier with the mission, the visits got fewer and farther between, and suddenly you found the days dragging, the worry getting so much more intense and harder to ignore. The snow fell heavier, until the vivid green leaves were swallowed up and the ground was so thick with it you could no longer see the deer tracks.

Which brings you here. With your forehead pressed against the window, your breath fogging up the cold glass. It’s all you can see. Endless white nothing. Your mind is churning, as it often does by this window. Worrying about damn near everything, missing your family, wondering just how long they can keep you cooped up in here. No, that isn’t fair. You’re here for your own safety, you know that. Steve and Bucky are doing everything they can to keep you alive, as are the rest of the team. You’re so grateful, of course you are, but it’s not all that easy. The lonely days can drag, the whistling wind sometimes the only reprieve from an unforgiving silence. At first, you tried to write, reframing this whole ordeal as some sort of retreat, but your muse quickly depleted around the same time your festive spirit and optimism did, making it oh so difficult to tell the difference between the empty page in front of you and the snowstorm outside.

Thoughts drift to home as you pull your knees up to your chest, hugging them in tightly. Wondering if your loved ones have finished their Christmas shopping, if your cousin has matched her ribbons to her wrapping paper again or if your nephew has gone to meet Santa yet. Thinking about the cookies you were so looking forward to making everyone, the new cutters you bought probably collecting dust in the drawer right now.

You’re debating if your neighbour has opened the packages you ordered when the wind breaks through the doorway, almost killing the quickly dwindling fire as Steve and Bucky both bundle inside. Though they bring a chill in with them, the warmth you feel at the sight of them seems to thaw a little of that wretched numbness growing in you. A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips as you stand to greet them, feeling the blood rush back into your toes now that you’re not scrunched in on yourself.

“Missed you, sweetheart,” Bucky mumbles first over the thick collar of his coat, “You doin’ alright?” He sets the logs he’s carrying down by the fireplace, coming back to wrap his arms around you and place a kiss on your forehead. You nod, though Bucky doesn’t look convinced as his eyes scan over your features.

Steve discards his portion of firewood in the same pile as Bucky’s, your body instinctively turning to his when he comes for his kiss. He blows into his hands for a moment, breath warming his palms just enough to take the edge off when he cups your cheeks to raise your face up to his. Your lips meet in a tender kiss, while Bucky’s hands fall to your hips. Somehow, even though they’re fresh from a snowstorm, they’re two pillars of warmth. Some of the heaviness clinging to you dissipates instantly.

“You’re freezing, angel,” Steve almost scolds, glancing over to the fireplace. “You been sitting here all morning?”

When he lets go of your cheeks to go and fix the fire, you nod again, needing to clear your stuck throat before you can speak actual words for the first time since they were last here. “There’s not much else to do,” You explain simply, trying not to sound so ungrateful for your safety. “I missed you both, though.”

“We missed you so much, doll,” Bucky whispers into your ear, his breath tickling the shell as he pulls you into him from behind. “You’ve gotta keep that fire going, though, baby. This storm ain’t a joke.”

You hold back a scoff. As if you didn’t know, as if that storm isn’t the only thing keeping you company lately. A shrug of your shoulders as you tilt your head to the side to let Bucky pepper kisses on your neck. Steve takes no time at all to revive the fire, expert hands working to warm the room back up.

Soon, the three of you are bundled on the sofa, blanket draped over all six legs and thirty toes. Bucky has his warmer arm around you, while Steve draws gentle circles and swirls in the thighs you’ve draped over his. Right now, you’re right where you belong, sandwiched between your boys. It’s enough to drive away all those lonely thoughts. Enough to be completely content for now.

You’re trying so hard not to think about the fact that, even though they’ve just got here, they’ll eventually have to leave again. So lost in trying to enjoy the here and now that you completely miss the worried glances Steve and Bucky are sending over your head, debating who’s going to be the one to ask without having to say a single word. A language built upon nearly a century of connection you often feel honoured to exist in the middle of.

The circles on your leg still, which pulls your attention to Steve. He shifts in his seat. Clears his throat.

“So how are you, sweetheart? Really, I mean… I know it’s not easy, but-”

“I’m fine. Really, I’m fine,” you answer too soon, suddenly not able to look either of them in the eye. You don’t want to complain, don’t want to be any more of a bother than you already feel when all of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes are working to protect you while you rattle around in here.

“Talk to us, doll…” Bucky implores, pulling you closer into him, “We’re worried about you. Can’t help if you shut us out”

“Don’t be,” you plead, finally dragging your eyes up to meet his, hating the concern you see written on both their faces, “I’m okay. I just…” feel lonely while you’re out risking your lives to protect me, miss the christmas tree while my life is in danger? Your throat tightens. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

“It’s okay if you’re not,” Steve says softly, his palm now splayed across your thigh and squeezing gently, “You don’t have to carry this on your own.”

“That’s what we’re here for,” Bucky adds, pressing a kiss atop your head. His too kind words make you flinch away.

“You’re doing enough for me. For all of us. You don’t need to be worrying about me missing a stupid Christmas tree on top of all that.” You’re embarrassed that you’ve even said it aloud, even though you know the issue runs much deeper than that. Bucky and Steve’s eyes both flicker between you and each other, while you wish the ground would just swallow you up whole in punishment for your outburst.

“Sorry. I’m sorry. It’s just… not so easy, being alone like this all the time. I miss everyone, miss my friends, my family… my little flat with the Christmas lights I put up and that tree we decorated together… I know I must sound insane, thinking about all this trivial, meaningless stuff while people are in so much danger. I just can’t help it when I’m up here all on my own.”

You watch Steve deflate in real time, his shoulders sinking as he processes your words. He pulls his hand out from under the blanket, grabbing yours to bring it to his lips. The kiss is tender and warming on your skin and it makes your chest ache. Even amongst all this, they always find kindness.

“You’re not insane, baby. Not even close,” Bucky whispers into your hair, “and we’re so sorry you have to go through this.”

Tears well in your eyes at his apology. “No, no, please don’t apologise. I know you’re doing everything you can and I’m so so grateful and-”

“Hey, hey… it’s alright,” Steve soothes, his voice steady. “We know how grateful you are. But we’re also sorry. What you’re going through right now is tough, sweetheart, and it breaks my heart every time we have to leave. Trust me when I tell you we’re going as fast as we can so me and Buck can get you back home. With us. Where you belong.”

The picture forms so clearly in your mind. In your own bed, squished between two heated bodies, hard muscles and soft skin and long nights and slow kisses and all the time in the world. No stolen moments between missions, checking the clock and watching on alert every time a deer stalked past. You’d like that. Very much so.

“She’s right though, Steve,” Bucky starts, fingers absentmindedly running through a little section of hair fallen free from your ponytail, “it is depressing as shit in here. I’ve seen barracks more festive than this.”

Steve’s frown forms at Bucky’s choice of language, but it settles into the lines in his forehead as he looks around the palace you’ve tried so hard to call home these last weeks. It’s pretty bare, with each piece of furniture a different soulless shade of grey. A far cry from the festive sanctuary you’d left behind.

Fingers still entwined in yours, Steve straightens his spine and leans forward in his seat.

He pulls a genuine laugh from you for the first time in days when he says, “It is depressing as shit.”

They stayed for as long as they possibly could, talking through everything with you until that heaviness on your chest was replaced with a quiet hope. You kissed them both and saw them out, waving them off until they were tiny dots in the snow. Missing the plans that formed on their cold walk back to base.

You feel refreshed after talking so openly with Steve and Bucky, determined to approach the rest of your time here with optimism and kindness to yourself. Keep the fire stoked, get dressed every day, keep your daily gratitudes. Make the best of what you have, especially when your boys are here. Stay strong. If not for yourself, then to make this all worth it.

You’re folding paper you’d found in a cupboard into a makeshift journal when you first hear muffled voices. It startles you, expecting neither Steve nor Buck to be back with you so soon and deducing the origin must be something violent. You stand, survival instinct making you wield a nearby pen as some sort of magic wand as your defense from the intruder. As the voices get louder, panic sets in and numbs your tongue. The door swings open, revealing the very tip of a… tree?

“I really don’t think this is gonna go through the doorway, Buck.”

“It’ll fit. We’ll make it fit.”

“I’ve heard that before.” “Yeah, and haven’t I always made it fit?”

You can feel the glare Steve is throwing Bucky through the wall of the cabin, no x-ray vision required. You lower the pen to your side as your curiosity takes over, walking you to the doorway. Sure enough, your boys are back, standing on either end of a huge douglas fir, snow still clinging to its leaves that shake off onto the porch.

“Hey, doll.” Bucky stands up front, gripping the top of the tree with his vibranium hand while waving with the other. He grins like a kid at… well, Christmas. “Couldn’t stay away from ya’. Figured we’d bring you a little something to cheer you up.”

“A little something? That thing is huge.” You retort, the smile on your face betraying the accusation in your voice.

“Bigger’s better.” Bucky smirks, raising and lowering his eyebrows suggestively. You’re giggling, so hard you almost miss Steve grumble from the back end of the tree.

“Yeah, yeah, Buck, your dick is huge. We know. Can we get this thing inside before we let all the cold in?”

Somehow, in Bucky’s infinite wisdom, they do make it fit, and are pulling the very base of the tree through the doorway when you can finally get your hands on them. The cold clinging to both of them bites at your skin but you don’t care as you drag them both closer to you.

“I didn’t think I’d see either of you again today… Especially not with a big ass Christmas tree. What’s going on?”

“Couldn’t stand to see you so sad, sweetheart. There’s not much we can do about being stuck here, but you said you missed Christmas so we figured we’d bring a little Christmas to you.” Steve presses a kiss to the top of your head as you snuggle into them, only now noticing the backpacks they’re both carrying too.

“There’s not much to work with out here, so we had to go old school,” Bucky explains, pulling away from the hug briefly to shrug his bag off his shoulder and drop it next to the tree.

“It’s traditional,” Steve counters, almost scolding in his tone. “Christmas like when me and Buck were kids.”

“Same thing.” Bucky shrugs, while your gaze falls to the tree taking up nearly half the space of your cabin.

“Did… did you cut this down just now?”

“Ain’t no tree store in the middle of nowhere, doll.”

You roll your eyes at Bucky’s smart mouth, playfully pinching his bicep before breaking away from them to get a better look at the tree. It really is ridiculously large and you’re 90% sure it won’t even stand without bending at the ceiling, but your heart still aches at the thought of what Bucky and Steve have done for you. The thought of them bickering out there in the snow, wanting to find you the very best one to put a smile back on your face has your cheeks straining.

“And… What's in the bags? If I even dare ask.” The grin is unstoppable now as you watch Steve and Buck take off their coats and shake the snow from themselves..

“Supplies, of course.” Buck teases, kissing your cheek on his way to the kitchen, “200, right?”

“200,” Steve confirms to Bucky, picking up both bags before you get the chance of a sneak peek. “Patience, baby.” He winks, playful, boyish grin lighting his face up.

“200 what?” You follow them both into the kitchen, finding Bucky fiddling with the oven while Steve unpacks both bags out onto the island. So far, you can spot some twine, matches, and a tinfoil parcel that you think might be popcorn.

“Degrees,” Bucky says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You didn’t eat all those oranges, did you?”

He looks relieved when you slowly shake your head no, your mind whirring to catch up with your surroundings. Popcorn, oranges… old school, Bucky had said.

“We’re making Christmas decorations?” You guess, hope and excitement blending into a smile that makes it all worth it for Steve and Buck.

“Clever girl.” Bucky praises, as Steve starts pulling an assortment of candles and tealights from the second bag. There’s a whole pile of stuff now: pomegranates, candy canes, newspapers, even-

“Is that an iPod Nano??” The astonishment in your voice is clear as you pick the little purple device up, the screen lighting up in your palm. An old school Christmas, indeed.

Steve looks a strange mixture of proud and somewhat confused when he pulls out a portable speaker and adds, ”Bruce set it up for us. Says it’s completely untraceable, but he put all the Christmas songs on there. Every single one.”

He’s not wrong. You spin your thumb around the pressure pad, watching Earth’s entire festive discography flash before your eyes. Everyone from Mariah Carey to Nat King Cole. Emotion wells in your chest, forms tears that sit on your waterline. This is too much. Everything they’re already doing for you, and now this? Working so hard to keep you happy.

“You really didn’t have to go to all this trouble, you know you’re doing enough…” You mumble, watching both frowns develop simultaneously. Gods, you don’t want to sound so ungrateful again, but it’s hard sometimes not to feel like such a burden when two supersoldiers wait on you hand and foot.

“And miss Christmas with our favourite girl? I don’t think so.” Bucky weaves around the island to find his way to you and Steve. You feel the cold pinch of vibranium on flesh as he takes your hand to bring it up to his lips. He lowers his voice, “you know we’d go to the ends of the Earth for you, doll. Pulling down a tree or two is nothing.”

And you know he means it. They both do. They’d tear the multiverse apart for you, spend their Christmas swapping watch duties to keep you safe, even find you a freaking iPod Nano in the grand old age of 2024. You look between them, finding such honesty and love in their eyes your heart hurts.

That smile starts to warm you from the inside out again as you clutch the Nano tight to your chest. It might actually be your favourite Christmas present ever.

“You ready to bring a little Christmas cheer to this place, angel?” Steve asks, hand cupping the back of your head. You nod, unable to actually stop smiling now they’ve convinced you that you’re worth all this and more.

“So ready.” You dock the iPod, while Steve and Bucky both gently caress your back through your cable jumper. The moment is so tender and perfect and-

“YOU’RE HERE, WHERE YOU SHOULD BE-” Kelly Clarkson screeches, making all three of you jump an inch. Now shaking fingers quickly manage to shut the song off, leaving you with the residue of Bucky’s laughter ringing in the air. You can’t help but giggle too, watching two of the world’s bravest heroes startled by an American Idol.

“Sorry, sorry. Modern Christmas music is not the vibe, noted.” You hold your hands up in a mock surrender before turning back to the speaker dock. “Wait, hang on, I think it’s sorted by year…” you think aloud, scrolling all the way back to the top. To the likes of Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald.

Dulcet tones fill the space between your bodies when you press play, classic strings melting into the honeyed, mellow voice of Bing Crosby telling the three of you to have yourselves a merry little Christmas. The room feels warmer already, absolutely nothing to do with the roaring fire and everything to do with the love woven into this gesture the boys have done for you. You feel so seen, so known, so unbelievably loved it almost hurts.

“Thank you so much for this. Both of you.”

“Don’t thank us yet, doll. Not before we’ve actually managed to get that tree up and standing,” Bucky jokes, eyes now flickering between the fir and the space it should be filling.

First things first, though, the oranges.

“You’ve gotta have them in at the lowest heat for about 2 hours,” Steve explains, slicing the fruit on a board while you lay the pieces on a baking tray. You’ve never done anything like this, most of your ornaments back home hand-me-downs from family or bought at Bryant Park. There’s something really special about it, though, being taught how by men who lived in a world before tacky glittery Christmas abominations took over the world.

“And they have to be the same thickness, or else they’ll dry unevenly,” Steve adds. You look to Bucky just in time to catch his playful eye roll.

“Sir, yes, sir,” Bucky taunts, saluting the Captain (of orange slices) with a stupidly serious expression on his face. You hold your giggle best you can, batting Buck lightly on his metal arm.

“Hey! Leave him alone,” you scold, lacking any sort of conviction when you let him pull your back up against his chest.

As Steve finishes up slicing the last orange, you start to lay the slices on the tray. They both watch you fondly, Steve thinking aloud, “I used to do this with my Ma before the war. She taught me all the tricks.”

You can just see it now: a little Steve meticulously watching to make sure each piece of the garland was sliced evenly.

“We did it too,” Bucky adds, “but me and Becks just fought over who got to eat the leftover slices.”

There’s a moment where each heart in the room aches for those who aren’t, who can’t be. You wish you could have met their families, Steve’s mother, Bucky’s little sister, and thanked them for making your boys just the way they are. Steve and Bucky long for the same, think about how much they’d all truly love you. The moment passes slowly, softly, fondly. Sealed with a kiss Bucky presses to your temple from behind and one from Steve on your knuckle.

The smell of citrus still hangs in the air by the time Steve and Bucky are bickering over the tree, orange slices now drying out in the oven. You’ve been set on paper chain duty, watching them both from the couch as you cut bits of paper up into neat strips. It’s pretty much your own personal sitcom, Steve currently the only one holding the tree while Bucky looks on.

“Yeah, no. A little more to the left, actually. No, the other left. My left,” he sneers, earning a huff from Steve. He lifts the thing with ease, but by the eighth adjustment you’re not sure how long before the thing might be thrown across the room.

“I think it’s perfect right there,” you quickly add, your eyes following the branches upwards to see the tip of the tree bend at a right angle across the ceiling. “...Absolutely perfect.”

You mean it, too. It’s way too big for this room, shedding pine needles all over the place and has a definite tilt to its posture, but you’ve never seen a more beautiful tree in all your life… You just hope it stays upright till New Year.

Steve takes full credit for the tree, ‘since I did all the heavy lifting’, while Bucky tries to claim the title of project manager. One look at you, wrapped in masses of colourful, masterful paper chains, and they both know who’s really the boss here. Which is why they both follow your carefully thought out delegations in the kitchen.

“Why does Steve get the fun job?” Bucky whines, frowning at the pomegranate you’ve handed him as if it has personally offended him.

“Because I don’t trust you with the popcorn,” you answer, narrowing your eyes. “Or an open flame,” Steve adds, earning a swat from Bucky.

“It’s a precise science,” Steve explains to you, as if he’s creating a new supersoldier serum in a lab rather than cooking popcorn. One hand holds the handle of the pot, the other keeps the lid closed as he slowly shakes the kernels around the flame.

You don’t need to be looking at Bucky to know he just rolled his eyes. You’ve seen him throw a bag into the microwave and forget about it on more than one occasion, leaving your apartment to smell like burn for days to come. Really, you didn’t mind. Every time you came home, it made you think of him.

“Sure it is, Captain Kernel.” Buck mumbles, hitting the back of the pomegranate so hard he dents the rind and sends seeds shooting across the room. You pull one from your hair as you turn to him, soft laugh ringing through the room.

“I thought I was Captain Oranges? You can’t keep reusing the same jokes, pretty boy.”

“Sure I can. It’s Christmas,” Bucky argues with a ridiculous pout, reaching to pull another seed from your hair and popping it in his mouth before pulling you closer, a sticky mess of pomegranate juice waiting for you when you get there.

“Bucky!” You shriek, squirming in his arms as he laughs, utterly unrepentant.

“You all good over there, baby? Need me to stage a rescue?” Steve hasn’t stopped shaking the pan, never disrupting the rhythm, though he has leaned in closer to listen out for any pops over the squealing.

“Oh, she’s fine,” Bucky answers before you can, still pressing sticky, pomegranate kisses to whatever skin he can reach. “Just a little sticky.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute, Barnes,” you grumble, wiping some of the juice from your cheek with the back of your hand.

“You’re damn right I’m lucky,” he quips, with a cocky grin, loosening his grip just enough to let you squirm free, though not before stealing one last kiss.

When the corn is popped and the seeds are neatly in a bowl (your own doing), it’s time for the thread. This step does little more to capture Bucky’s attention than the fruit bashing did. He quickly gets distracted with trying to eat as much as he can and inappropriately touching you and Steve, both of which he manages quite a lot of. It’s a delicate task that takes enough time to bring the iPod through to the 50s and into the songs the boys aren’t so familiar with. Still classics, like Eartha Kitt and Chuck Berry, but past Steve and Bucky’s time. Vintage to you, but a strange shard of the unknown future they missed to them.

This decade of music brings a little more energy into the cabin, and by this time, the entire place smells like sweet citrus and pine. A truly festive attack on the senses. The orange slices have dried enough to thread, which you and Steve team up to tackle while Bucky lights the candles. Apparently, Steve would prefer Bucky be in charge of open flames rather than sharp needles. You’re so content in this bubble, so lost in each activity that you’ve hardly noticed the sun setting outside. The candlelight feels intimate and cozy as the three of you finally decorate the place. Hanging paper chains from the walls, wrapping your freshly made garlands around the tree.

“Aren’t they so perfectly seeded?” Bucky teases as he lifts you up onto his shoulders, allowing you to reach the tallest part of the tree to hang some of the oranges up there.

“Masterfully done, darling,” you respond, tongue pressed between your teeth as you reach for the farthest branch you can, “don’t think we could do Christmas without you.”

Steve helps you down, your frame landing right up against his as his hands fall to your hips. You feel every hard muscle against your supple body, every ridge and mound and-

“Are those candy canes in your pocket, Captain Rogers, or are you just happy to see me?”

“Both. Can’t it be both?” He teases, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“I’d honestly be kind of disappointed if it wasn’t.”

Bucky joins you at your back. “Alright, lovebirds. Break it up. I was told I had to behave at least until we finished the tree, Rodgers. No cheating.”

You’re reluctantly separated to focus on hanging candy canes by a suddenly all too dedicated to the cause Sargeant, giggling and teasing as he slips several into his own pocket for later.

The very last ornament fits right in the middle of the tree, which Steve lifts you a couple of inches off the ground to reach. The three of you stand back, admiring your handiwork. Leaning to one side, too big for the room. It’s messy and uneven and may fall down at any moment, but you don’t think you’ve ever seen anything so beautiful in your entire life.

“You think we did good, doll?” Bucky asks, the soft candlelight glowing against his skin.

“I think we did perfect.”

And the moment is just that: perfect. Peaceful and cozy and wonderful… until Elton John starts shouting about Christmas. It’s so jarring you snort, heading over to the speaker before you have to attempt to explain the concept of Elton John to men born in the 1910s. “Sorry, on it.”

You scroll back through the ages, eyes scanning over each song title until you stop near the top.

I’ll Be Home For Christmas - Bing Crosby.

A smile twitches onto your lips, heat blooming from your chest. That was what started this whole thing, wanting to go home for Christmas. Yet now, looking at your boys in front of the tree they cut down with their own two hands, the one you decorated together as a family, you realise you’ve never felt so at home in your life.

The mood instantly fixes itself as the song plays. You stand thoughtful for a moment, before you feel that familiar warmth at your back. Steve.

“Dance with me?” He whispers, fingers already running around your waist to spin you into him. He holds you in the traditional position, left hand holding yours, right on your waist as you both sway to the melody. Your eyes meet in a tender moment that feels like it lasts a lifetime, but Bing is only singing his second verse when you hear:

“Can I cut in?” Bucky’s voice interrupts, playful and hopeful and happy after watching you and Steve.

Somehow, you fit perfectly between them as the three of you dance together. It feels like a moment you could bottle in a snowglobe: the music, the warmth, the candlelight. A Christmas unlike any other, with more heart and love than you’ve ever known, not a single bit of glitter in sight.

Eventually, the song fades into another, leaving you all standing in this tangled embrace. In front of your perfect, messy tree.

“Merry Christmas, doll,” Bucky whispers, pressing a kiss on your cheek.

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” Steve echoes, his head resting atop yours thanks to the considerable height difference.

“Merry Christmas, boys,” you whisper back, eyes glistening as you unravel just enough to look up at them. “I love you both so very much.”

And it doesn’t matter where you are geographically on the 25th of December. It never did. You were always going to be home for Christmas, as long as Steve and Bucky were by your side.

#stucky x reader #poly!stucky x reader #steve x reader x bucky #bucky barnes x reader #stucky fluff #bucky x reader x steve #steve rogers x reader #margowritesthings #stucky fanfic #stucky x you #steve rogers #Bucky Barnes

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justagirlwholikesadam · 1 year ago

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S & K : The Queen's Guards

Sandor Clegane x Fem!Reader x Kylo Ren

Summary: After being named heir to the throne, your father brings you two men to be your guards.

Warning: NSFW, cursing, kissing, we are fucking them ladies, throuple because why not!

A/N: TBH this fanfic was never going to see the light of day because i was so nervous how people would react but I haven't seen a Sandor x Kylo fanfic so fuck it. Here ya'll go, enjoy! -L || Border Credit: @cafekitsune

Word Count: 9.9K

You were grateful that you have been bestowed with two guards to protect you. They were given the order to follow your every move and stay by your side since your father named you heir to the throne. Most were happy that you were heir while others condemned it to be the most horrific thing known. A woman sitting on the throne was a joke for them.

Blessed to have a father like yours, he quieted the people that had doubts and reminded them that his word is law.

At first you dreaded the idea of two unknown men in your company but your father insisted since they were the best. While being introduced to them you will never forget how they stared down at you with their dark eyes. You couldn't help but blush under their gaze. You learned that they were both second born sons and that they didn't have much but they were highly skilled. They were new to the kingdom and looking to offer their service. They had gotten through your father’s difficult test and proven their loyalty to him. They were both granted to protect and serve you.

The first guard was named Sandor Clegane. He was the tallest and the oldest. Your father had mentioned to you about his appearance before arriving. Sandor's right side of his face was burned. You were a bit relieved when you saw him for yourself because your father made it seem like Sandor was a grotesque monster but he wasn't. The unburnt side of Sandor’s face was handsome. He had a thick brow and brown eyes. His hair was long down to his neck, he had parted his hair to the side to mask the burn side of his face. He had facial hair, his beard and mustache were thick and dark.

The second guard was named Kylo Ren. Kylo was tall but fell a few feet shorter than Sandor. Kylo gave you a smile when he first saw you. His plushy lips twisted upward at you. He had long dark locks that went down to his shoulders. His beard and mustache was neatly trimmed then Sandor’s. Beauty marks were splattered on his face and he was leaner than the older guard.

Small talks between your father and you occur as they continue to stare at you.

“I do this for your safety, my dear. One day all of this will be yours and there are people out there that will try to take it away from you.” Your father walked in front of you and placed his hands on your shoulders.

“I accept them.” You told him.

Your father stood behind you as Sandor and Kylo kneel in front of you and swore their allegiance, their protection to the heir to the throne. Something melted in your chest at the sight of these men kneeling in front of you. Many had knelt in front of you but these two had sparked something in you.

The first week was the hardest, since they were going to follow you everywhere to get to know your routines. You decided to get to know them more. You found out Kylo was more social than Sandor.

Sandor kept to himself, mostly drinking a cup of wine while Kylo talked about himself. You found out Kylo had a twin brother named Ben. Kylo was the second twin born. You gave your condolences to Kylo when he mentioned that Ben died at war.

Kylo was flirtatious with everyone and he was charming when he wanted. You noticed wandering eyes from the servants looking up and down at him while serving the meals and drinks. Some servants who weren’t afraid of Sandor tried to talk to him but he ignored them or just told them to ‘fuck off.’

It was a month later when you found out more about Sandor's life. Kylo had left to do a task for your father so it was just both of you. You were sitting down on the loveseat in the library while Sandor stood by the entrance. After a few minutes of begging the tall man to sit down with you, he obeyed. Finally able to wear out his cold exterior, Sandor told you about his life and how he got hurt. His older brother had pushed his face against the burning coal of the fire when he was a child. His older brother was still alive and causing havoc far away from here.

Sandor had come to this place for a fresh start in life. Sandor’s body tensed when he felt you grab his hand. He wanted to curse at you for touching him but he couldn't, not when you were looking up at him like that. You looked at him like he was a normal man, you looked at him as you looked at Kylo.

“Thank you for telling me.” You told him as you pulled his hand on to your lap. His breathing came to a halt when you began to play with his fingers. Your thumb glides across his hard knuckles. You couldn’t help but smile when you compare your hands along with his. They were huge, they completely covered yours.

“My father said a good man should have rough hands. It means he’s a hard worker. I know for a fact you are a good and hardworking man.” Sandor was shocked by your compliment. He rarely got compliments back home. This was new for him, he didn’t know how to react. He just kept looking at you as you caressed his hand on your lap.

He finally had the courage to say something when the door of the library opened. He quickly ripped his hand away from your grasp as he stood up from the loveseat. He was about to draw his weapon but stopped when he saw it was Kylo. He ignored your stares as he walked away back to the doors. He couldn’t believe that he had gotten so distracted by you. A simple touch from you and he let his guard down.

Sandor and Kylo took turns when it came guarding you at night. You had told them that it’s outrageous to have someone standing guard at your door during the night but they simply told you that it’s their duty to protect you know matter what time of the day.

It had taken Sandor a week for you to finally convince him to come inside your room and take a seat on a chair so he could rest his legs. He had mentioned to you that he had injured his leg back home. It took a month for Kylo to finally come inside your room during the night and sit on the same chair as Sandor.

Kylo kept quiet while sitting near the fireplace. Kylo had to admit you were the nicest person he’s ever guarded. You always had a pitcher of water and a couple of books in the Latin language for him. He had mentioned to you once that he adores reading in Latin and the very next day you have gotten books for him. One night you couldn’t sleep, you tossed and turned in your bed. It was Kylo’s turn guarding you that night. He had seen that you were unable to sleep and had suggested reading to you in Latin. You knew nothing of the language, but hearing his soft, deep voice relaxed you. After a few minutes of him reading out loud to you, you were fast asleep

What you didn’t know was that as soon as you were asleep. Kylo and Sandor couldn’t help but look at you. They stood by the end of the bed. They envy the sheets and blankets that touched your body. Whenever it was Sandor’s turn he was too frightened to even touch you so he stared. He felt so unworthy to even touch you. He wanted to touch the hand that touched him. You had no problem grabbing onto him whenever he guarded you during the day. You don’t even ask permission to hold his hand or his arm. He felt like he needed permission from the Gods themselves to even touch you.

Kylo looks over at you when he hears soft snoring. He carefully gets up trying not to make a sound as he walks to your bed. He knew it was wrong to touch you while you were sleeping but he couldn’t help it. He enjoys the touch of your hair. It was soft to him, with shaky hands he touches your fingers as well. His lips tremble to kiss them. Kylo admits he’s a sinner, he’s always been one. He was always in the company of women to feel something. To feel whole but it never worked but being in your company was something else. Something pure and something out of love.

As the days became months and the months had become years it was two years since Kylo and Sandor became your guards. They knew their job was going to get harder when your father became ill. He was unfit to be king anymore and because of it, people in the realm started to second guess your father’s decision of choosing you as the heir to the throne.

It had happened so quickly when your father was bedridden when a lord from a house had spoken out.

“Let me remind you of this, Lord Peter of House Mancen.” Sandor watched as you stood up from your seat. He wanted to cut this man's head off for barging in and disrupting the council's meeting.

“Two years ago, the King of this realm had appointed me as the heir of the throne.” Kylo watched as you walked towards the man while you spoke.

“It is my duty, my birthright and my throne. Let this be known and tell anyone who has doubts. I will be queen, I will rule and I will defend my throne from anyone who is stupid enough to try and take it away from me.”

Lord Peter of House Mancen frowned as you walked back to your seat. Sandor and Kylo were quick to move when they saw the man reach for something.

“Stop.” You shouted. Kylo and Sandor froze as well as the Lord.

“This is your last and only warning, Lord Peter of House Mancen. Speak out of turn or betray me, I will end you. I will end your house and I will end your family. I will make your house disappear, I promise you that.”

“Shut the door on your way out.” You said when the Lord didn’t speak. He bowed at you and walked out, shutting the door behind him. The council continued and ended successfully. You didn’t notice how Sandor and Kylo looked proud at you from behind.

The proud look on their faces turned into pity when your father had passed in his sleep two days later. Sandor and Kylo had put their differences aside even though they worked together for two years now, they still had a few issues among themselves. They did it when you became depressed the first few days after your father’s death. Only your ladies-in-waiting entered in and out of your chambers. Sandor and Kylo couldn’t help but feel a bit sad at the fact you didn’t want to see them. They heard your cries and the voices of your ladies-in-waiting consoling you behind your chambers door.

A week after they were allowed to enter your chambers. It was the day of your coronation, they stood in awe as you stood in front of your mirror. You looked over your shoulder at them. You turned to face them and greeted them with a small smile.

“Forgive me, Sandor and Kylo. I haven’t been myself these few days. I was embarrassed of both of you seeing me in such a state.”

Kylo shook his head. “No need to be embarrassed. I..” Kylo stuttered for a moment and quieted down.

“Speak.” You said softly looking at him. Sandor eyed the brunette and knew what he was going to say. They had talked before entering your chambers.

“I know we are your guards but I would like for you to think of us as..” Kylo’s cheek grew red as he couldn’t finish his sentence. He couldn’t help himself. You looked so beautiful in front of them.

“Friends.” Sandor spoke, finishing Kylo’s sentence. Sandor felt the same way. “You can think of us as close friends, perhaps. If you like.”

They watched as your smile grew and walked closer to them. Without a word you grabbed one of their hands and gently gave them a squeeze.

“Yes, I would like that very much.” Looking up at them, you give them a smile. Before any of them can respond, you bring Kylo’s hand up to your lips, pressing a kiss on his knuckles. You did the same with Sandor’s hand.

Kylo and Sandor knew nothing more could happen between you and them. You were to be queen and they were just simply guards. No relationship can come from it but your kiss, a simple gesture made their hearts blossom for you. They were utterly in love with you.

The coronation was beautiful. They stood on either side at the bottom steps of the throne as they watched you walk down the aisle. You wore a white and red dress with a long cape trailing behind you. You walked with poise and your head held high as everyone stood by the sidelines. You were nervous, you were frightened that something would happen. You looked ahead at the two pairs of brown eyes and you felt confident. Kylo had told you that they made sure no one had a weapon with them. Sandor had his own men guarding each entrance of the grand hall.

You felt safe as you sat down on your throne and the crown was placed on your head. The people cheered with glee as you were announced the Queen. Kylo and Sandor walked up the steps and bow, taking their place behind you.

The sight of you sitting down with two large, virile men standing on either side of you looked like a painting. Their eyes were dark and narrowed as they stared at the crowd. Their silver armor they wore was polished, the red cape hung from their broad shoulders was a bright red, the color of the Queen’s guards.

A year has passed and many have come to terms that you were queen. Few had their doubts and it made you angry. You were honorable and merciful. You kept Kylo and Sandor as your personal guards. Since you became queen, they were the only people you trusted with your life. They were your only friends and your only true companion.

Kylo remained coquet. You often listen to your ladies-in-waiting gossiping about seeing Kylo with another lady. Part of you didn’t mind it, he was a guard, a friend nothing more but he would compliment you and make you feel like you were the only woman in the world. He made you blush and feel warm inside.

The feeling was the same with Sandor. You feel his gaze when he guards you. Unlike Kylo, Sandor was quieter and kept to himself. He talked only when spoken to. He tended to keep to himself but whenever bothered he had a vile tongue. Just when you thought you were making progress by breaking down Sandor’s wall to finally make him feel comfortable with you it would blow up in your face. A simple touch, he would draw back. If you got close to him, you saw how his lips were pressed together into a frown. Sandor had his good and bad days and Kylo knew that. He would bother Sandor when he noticed the older guard in a mood just for kicks.

They didn't get along, they were like cats and dogs and while Sandor kept to himself Kylo was more open with everyone. Sandor rolls his eyes every time Kylo would flirt whenever they passed by a woman. Somedays he would yell at Kylo to shut the fuck up. Kylo was too cocky and always had a smirk which Sandor hated.

“Are you done looking at her?” Kylo looked over his shoulder as Sandor stood guard by the door. He rolled his eyes at Sandor and went back to the same position as Sandor. His back to the door.

“Just making sure she’s alright.” Sandor scoffs at Kylo’s words.

“Trying to get a peek more like it, you ass.” Kylo clenched his jaw.

“Like you haven't tried it.” Kylo answered back, making Sandor turn to him with a frown.

“Don't try to deny it. I see how you look at her. You probably think about her whenever you're alone.”

“Fuck you.” Sandor snarled at him as he looked away from Kylo. Embarrassment washed over Sandor, he always made sure Kylo never saw him staring at you.

Kylo let out a chuckle. “It’s like you think you might have a chance with her. We are nobody compared to her.”

“Even if we were somebody, I doubt she will pick yo-” Sandor quickly pushed Kylo against the wall with his arm against Kylo’s throat. Kylo let out a gasp as Sandor pushed his arm harder against his neck. Kylo looked up at the man and Sandor gave him a scowl.

“Do you want to end up like your brother?” Sandor hissed, making Kylo glare at him at the mention of his deceased brother.

“Fuck you.” Kylo said with a hoarse voice. His face was about to turn red but Sandor let him go. Kylo coughed as he held his neck with his hands while looking at Sandor walking back to his post.

“If she had to pick it would be me-”

You were about to thank the seamstress as she took notes of your measures when you heard shouting. You quickly walked out of the room and looked down the hall to see your guards fighting each other. Their swords banged each other as they shouted. You looked between them as Kylo yells at him. Sandor was stronger though and got Kylo to fall on his back but Kylo was quicker and blocked Sandor’s steel that was aiming for his head.

“Enough.” You shouted as you walked towards them. They stopped at the sound of your voice. Their eyes widen at the angry sight of you and knelt down on one knee. You watched as both men looked down at the ground waiting for you.

“What happened?” You questioned them. They both were out of breath as they looked up. They didn't know what to say. Both were ashamed that you had to witness them. They were fighting like children over you.

“Such boys.” You said as you shook your head at them. They quickly rose up when you started to walk away from them.

“No.” You shouted when you looked over your shoulder to see them following you. You pointed a finger at them, “I discharged both of you tonight. I don't need boys to guard me. When you're done acting like one, come to my chambers.”

They watched as you turned around and walked away. Kylo let out a sigh and put his sword back to his scabbard, Sandor let out a tsk and looked away.

Kylo didn't want to end badly with Sandor. Kylo wanted to continue guarding you and servicing you. He wasn't going to let Sandor get in the way of that. Kylo wasn't stupid, he knew the older man had a crush on you. He knew it because he himself had one on you as well.

“I’m sorry.” Kylo said. Sandor remained silent as he looked at Kylo. He didn’t trust Kylo, he was waiting for Kylo to attack again since you were gone but he didn’t.

“Let me buy you a pint as an apology.” Sandor let out a sigh and nodded. He followed Kylo as they walked down the hall. He wasn’t going to say no to free ale.

The tavern outside the castle was filled that night. The serving girl quickly got Kylo and Sandor a table and a pitcher of a dark ale when she saw the sigil of royalty on their armor. Sandor sat across from Kylo as they shared a pitcher of ale.

“Sorry about bringing up your brother.” Sandor said after the first cup of ale. Kylo looked up from his own cup. He was surprised that Sandor spoke to him. He thought the night was going to be quiet.

“It’s fine.” Kylo said. Sandor watched as Kylo looked back down at his cup.

“You miss him?” Kylo nods at Sandor. “He was my best friend. We were twins. The day he died, a piece of me died with him.”

“Do you miss your brother?” Kylo asked. Sandor didn’t answer, he only shook his head no.

“How do you know about him?” Sandor asked as he looked around the tavern.

“I was there that day in the library.” Kylo said shyly, he looked at Sandor who was now glaring at him.

“Motherfuc-.”

“I’m sorry. I was walking in to relieve you when I heard you speaking to her.” Kylo said before Sandor could finish.

“If you tell anyone about this.” Kylo shook his head.

“I won’t but can I just say I do hope your brother dies. I can’t imagine ever hurting my brother like that.” Sandor took a gulp of his drink before answering.

“I hope he dies too.”

“You think he’ll follow you here?” Kylo asked.

“Why you asking so much fucking questions?!” Sandor growled at Kylo. Kylo tossed his hands up showing defeat and sighed.

“Just asking questions. Trying to get to know you better.” Kylo said, making Sandor roll his eyes.

“You talk to fucking much.” Sandor commented.

“Well if we are going to guard the Queen. We might as well try to get along. She was pretty upset when she saw fighting.”

Sandor was about to agree when he saw a young girl walking behind Kylo with a smile. She wore a dress too small that showed her curves and her cleavage was about to spill over the bodice she wore on top of the dress.

“Well, hello there.” The woman said as she placed a hand on Kylo’s shoulder.

“You look pretty lonely here. Want some company?” Sandor looked away as he poured more ale into his cup.

He was shocked when Kylo rejected the woman’s offer and told her he’s busy. Sandor looked at the young woman who had a surprised face, she couldn’t believe that he rejected her.

“She could have made you happy.” Sandor told him as they both looked over at the girl who was making her way towards another table.

“I don’t want her.” Kylo said, grabbing the pitcher from the table.

“The queen then?” Sandor asked.

“Yeah. Just like you, Clegane.” Sandor shook his head about to disagree.

“Fucking hell, I know you do because I heard the maids gossiping about you.” Sandor made a face as Kylo spoke.

“What did they say?”

Kylo grinned. “You haven’t fucked anyone since you started guarding her even before that when you came to the kingdom.”

“That has nothing to do with me wanting her.”

“Sandor! Men fuck. It’s what we do. We kill and we fuck. You want her or you just want cock, do tell me. There’s a stable boy who might be a fit for you.”

“I don’t like cock.” Sandor stated.

“You’re quite popular though. The maids at the castle want to see what you got hiding under that armor .” Sandor shook his head.

“You are popular. Even the Queen looks at you. I catch her plenty of times staring at you, especially when you’re fighting in tournaments. You with that helmet shaped like a wolf.”

“It’s a hound.” Sandor corrected him and continued on. “She watches you as well. When you’re riding or reading that damn book in Latin.”

“Guess she looks at both of us.” Kylo said.

It was about midnight when Kylo and Sandor decided to go back to the castle. Sandor had to admit Kylo was interesting. He wasn’t like anyone he met in King’s Landing. Kylo spoke more about his brother after the fourth pitcher of ale. He told Sandor how his twin brother fell in love with a lady from a house. A girl named Rey and Ben had gone to war for her. Kylo went with Ben since he always follows his brother no matter what. Ben died protecting Kylo during the war. At the end it was for nothing, Rey didn’t mourn for his brother. Not even a single tear was shed for his brother. Kylo told Sandor she got married with some lord the following days. Kylo has been alone since then doing all sorts of jobs to get him by. The ale got to Sandor too, the older man told Kylo about his fights in King’s Landing and how he used to guard a little bitch prince who was the product of incest. He wouldn’t forget the sight of Kylo’s face when he told him that the Queen was fucking her twin brother. They both talked among themselves as they made it to the castle.

“We should apologize.” Kylo said standing outside of your chambers.

“Aye.” Sandor answered before knocking on the door.

They heard you grant permission to enter. Sandor was the first to enter, he felt Kylo walk beside him. Both stood still as they saw you sitting in front of your vanity. You wore your night clothes, a dark red robe over your pink nightgown. You kept staring at yourself at the mirror as you brushed your hair.

“My queen.” Kylo said after clearing his throat. “If this is a bad time, we will come back tomorrow.”

“No.” You said putting the hairbrush down and looking at them through the mirror. You turned around and rose up from your chair.

“You're done being childish?” You asked them.

“Aye, we're sorry, your grace.” Sandor told you as you walked towards them. You crossed your arms over your chest.

“Why were you fighting?” You asked them as you looked between them.

When they didn’t respond quick enough you spoke again. “Are you both not happy with me?” Their eyes widened at your words. Guilt filled their hearts at the thought of you thinking they weren’t content with you.

“Haven't I been kind? Not generous enough?” You asked knowing damn well that can’t be the reason. They get paid well for guarding you.

“I let you fuck with whoever you want and not say a word.” You told Kylo who’s face paled.

“Do you know the embarrassment I go through when someone tells me that my guard has been seen half naked coming out of the servants quarters?”

You looked at Sandor. “I kept my promise to you about not speaking about your past. I had lied to my father for you before he passed away. The council will have my head if they found out the reason why you left Westeros. My throne would be in jeopardy for keeping a secret like that.”

Sandor dropped his head. You looked at them both with a pained expression. “The servants have heard and seen your little fight. It spread like wildfire through the castle. They think I'm incapable of handling both of you.”

You walked away from them as you shook your head. “They look for ways to find anything wrong with me so they can take my throne.

“Tell me at once. Why were you both fighting?” You shouted. “If you don't then leave and never come back.”

“We want you.” Sandor's mouth dropped at Kylo’s confession. He looked to the right to see Kylo staring at you.

“What?” You questioned looking at both of them.

“He’s right.” Sandor added, perhaps it was the ale running though his system but he knew they had to tell you the truth. It was the only way for them to continue to stay with you.

“You have me already. I don't understand.” Kylo shook his head at you.

“Not that way, your grace. We want you, all of you. We want to be with you.” Kylo told you.

“More than guards.” Sandor said, walking towards you. Sandor has never felt this way before towards a woman. You gave him sympathy, you treated him as a human something he's never experienced before. In some way it frightens him but if you were to reject him then he would leave, if you command it.

“I want you.” Sandor’s words came out in a whisper when he looked at you.

“Both of you do?”

“Yes.” Kylo answered you, he followed Sandor’s steps towards you.

“It was because of me you were fighting, then.” you walked closer to them. You smell the ale on them, they were awestruck when you grabbed their hands with your own. With Kylo, you grabbed his hand with your left hand and you grabbed Sandor with your right hand.

“Both of you smell like you have drunk the entire tavern. How do I know your words are true?” You asked them.

“The ale is helping with our confidence.” Kylo admits giving your hand a squeeze.

You took a deep breath as you looked at them. “Why do you think I have not accepted any proposal?” You asked them.

Sandor and Kylo looked at each other for a second before looking back at you. This was very true, the years they have been with you. You’ve rejected all the many proposals you received.

“I had hoped that one of you would step forward and claim me as theirs but now I have two.” You dropped their hands softly before backing away. Each of them looked disappointed. They can see you were deep in thought. You looked around your chambers then at them.

“If this happens. No fighting between both of you.” Sandor lets out a sigh of relief when you speak.

“This must be between us.” Sandor nodded.

“And I don’t share.” You said looking at Kylo. “Both of you would be mine and mine alone.”

You stared at Kylo wondering if he knew what you meant. You don’t think you have the stomach to see Kylo with another woman but what you are asking of him felt a bit selfish. You’re asking him to just be with you and only you.

A smile appears on Kylo’s handsome face. “I’m yours. Only yours.” He tells you.

Your smile matches his and you held yourself back because at that moment all you wanted to do was kiss him. You look over at Sandor. His face is stone cold, he has no expression on his face. You couldn’t read him.

“Sandor.” You whispered his name, hoping to find the answer you wanted. You wanted him to say yes, you wanted him to hold you and kiss you. You wanted those large hands on you, you wanted those lips and Kylo’s lips over your body.

“I’m yours. Only yours.” He said it with a sultry tone.

Your feet had a mind of their own, you walked towards them. You went to the closest to you, Kylo. His eyes were dripping with desire as you got close to him. Shaky hands make their way to his neck, he leans down to kiss you.

Sandor watches as Kylo cups your face as he kisses you. You pulled away, leaning your forehead against his. “I’m yours.” You whispered against his lips.

You pull away from Kylo and walk toward Sandor. You can’t help but smile at him as you step in front of him. His armor was cool under your touch as you went on your tiptoe to kiss him. Just as Kylo, Sandor leans down to kiss you. He copies Kylo’s move and cups your cheek. He doesn’t want to stop, how can he? He was just kissed by an angel. He feels your hands on his neck now, fingertips touching the ends of his hairs.

“Only yours.” You tell Sandor. You were caught by surprise when Sandor kissed you again. The kiss was soft and so desperate to taste you, you melted under his touch. You feel his hand on your waist, as he pulls away to kiss your neck. You gasped when you felt Kylo behind you kissing your shoulders.

“Before anything happens, the guard down the hall. Discharge him and come back.” You tell them, walking away from them. You dropped the robe as you looked over your shoulder at them while untying your nightgown.

“Hurry. Don't keep me waiting long.” You said before walking to your bed.

Sandor looks over at Kylo who was smirking as he stared at you.

“We lay with her?” Sandor asked as Kylo signaled him to join him to discharge the guard.

“No shit, I mean if you want to watch. That’s fine by me.” Kylo answered him while opening the door.

“I-I never laid with..” Kylo comes to a halt and stares up at him.

“You’re a virgin?!” Kylo’s eyes widened and Sandor rolled his eyes at him.

“Of course, not. I fucked back home. I just never fucked a woman with a man in the same bed.” Sandor wants to punch Kylo in the face when he starts to laugh.

“It’s not bad.” Kylo told him. “I’m not into men.” Sandor said and Kylo raised his brows at him.

“Me too but we both want her and by some miracle she wants us just as much as we want her.” Kylo said as he walked down the hall. Sandor followed him and waited for Kylo to speak with the guard.

“Look, let’s not fuck this up. You stay on one side and I’ll stay on the other side. If you happen to touch my dick then so be it, it’s not going to fall off.” Sandor's cheeks turn pink by Kylo’s word.

“I’m also hoping you won’t kill me if I accidentally touch you.” Kylo said as they watched the guard walk away.

“I just might depending where you touch.” Sandor said and Kylo shrugs shoulders.

“Do it after we do the deed.” Kylo said and they both walked back to you.

Sandor shuts the door behind him after Kylo walks in. Kylo looks over his shoulder at Sandor with a smirk, dark eyes shining with excitement. This is what they wanted, this is what they have been craving for so long and now you are here, ready to be devoured and pleased by them. Sandor unhooks Kylo’s cloak as he turns for the younger guard to do that same with his.

In sync, they took off their armor and weapons quickly and dropped it on the floor as they noticed candle lights appear further in the room. You were waiting for them.

Kylo glances over at Sandor when he is done removing his armor. He notices Sandor breathing heavily almost like he was afraid.

“Clegane.” Kylo whispers. Sandor looks down at him.

“Let’s get our girl.” Sandor nods before walking towards your bed, they notice the nightgown on the floor.

Kylo pulls the curtain showing your bed, you’re sitting in the middle of the bed with your back to the headboard. They noticed you were naked with only the sheets covering your chest. Kylo removes his black tunic shirt and he sees your eyes glue to his chest. Kylo’s chest is toned, his abs are defined and you can see scars on his body from his battles. Sandor does the same and you bite your bottom lip when you see Sandor’s chest. His chest is covered with dark coarse hairs. It went all the way down to his stomach.

Kylo notices how your eyes are drawn towards Sandor and he can’t help but feel a bit jealous of the older man.

“I have never done this before. Never with one man but now I have two. Be patient with me, I beg.” You tell them.

Kylo smiles and walks towards the bed. “You’re in luck, my queen. I happen to be a wonderful teacher.” You smile at Kylo as he sits down on the edge of bed.

“Perhaps my assistant would like to start you off.” Kylo said, looking over at Sandor.

Sandor licks his lips before walking to the bed and sits next to you. His eyes widen when you get close to him, the sheet drops from your chest.

“Fuck.” Sandor whispered as he got close to you.

You look at Kylo who smirks at your shyness. “Go on. Show our queen how a Westerosi kiss their woman.”

Sandor was glad Kylo urged him to make the move. It wasn’t the gods that gave him permission, but it will do. Sandor leans down to kiss your lips as you lean towards him. You moan when you feel his hands on your body. Kylo watched as Sandor held you in his arms as he kissed you. His hands ran up and down your back before settling on your hips. Kylo stands to remove his boots and trousers when Sandor gently pushes you down on the bed and gets between your legs.

You’re moaning as you raise your arms to wrap them around his neck. Kylo watches as Sandor pushes your legs open so he can get between them.

“You’re perfect.” Sandor says as he pulls away and looks down at your body. He cups one of your breasts and leans down to lick your nipple. You squeal when you feel his beard tickle your skin.

“Oh my- oh!” You moan when you feel Sandor suck on your nipples, throwing your head back. Your eyes shoot open when you feel him start to kiss your rib cage, all the way down to your stomach.

To your surprise you see Kylo ahead of you. He’s staring at Sandor and you. You bring a hand to your mouth when you see him jerking himself off. Kylo licked his lips at you when he noticed you’re staring at him pumping himself. You look down when you feel Sandor touch your cunt.

The bed dips down and you feel Kylo over you, his face comes from above. His dark curls frame his face, his eyes glistening with lust.

“He’s going to eat your cunt. He’s getting it ready for us.” Kylo says peeking at Sandor who was looking at him between your legs.

Kylo kisses your lips while Sandor kisses the lips between your legs, Kylo drinks your moans as Sandor slips his tongue into you. Kylo nips your chin as he cups your breast pinching your nipple, looking at you for your reaction.

“Lick them, please.” He obeys without a single thought.

Sandor looks up at you to see Kylo next to you, kissing you while he eats your cunt. He grows hard as he watches Kylo lick your nipples, his pink tongue swirling around the hard nipple.

“Wait-t-t. Please.” You cry out to Sandor who's feasting your cunt.

“You're going to cum, my queen. It’s okay.” Kylo whispered against your forehead before kissing it. He watches you as you arch your back, he continues to play with your nipples. He grins to himself when he hears your moaning as you tremble while coming undone.

Kylo catches his stare and raises a brow. “How does she taste, Clegane?”

“Heavenly.” Sandor said hoarsely as he licked his lips, making Kylo laugh. He looks down at you to move your hair out of your face.

“Did you hear?” He asked you. You nod while blushing. “You feel good?” You nod once more.

“I'll be back soon, I must have a taste for myself.” Kylo said, leaning down to kiss you on the lips. Kylo quickly gets off the bed and kneels next to Sandor.

“Both of you?” You asked as you spread your legs wider. “Is that what you want?” Kylo asked.

Sandor saw how your eyes widened and a blush appeared across your cheeks. You give them a nod.

Kylo winks at Sandor and kisses your inner thigh, Sandor notices your reaction and he copies it, kissing the right side of your inner thigh.

“Fuckk.” Kylo moans when he makes it to your cunt, kisses it softly, kissing your slick cunt, Sandor has done a number on you. He licks up and down your slit a few times as he touches himself. He looks at Sandor who's staring at him.

Sandor tense up when Kylo grabs one of his hands. “Give me your hand.” Sandor leans closer to him as Kylo uses the older guard fingers. He hushes you when you whimper when he softly slips Sandor’s finger into you.

“Yes, move it.” Kylo tells Sandor as he makes room for him to keep fingering you. Kylo licks your clit, kisses it, sucks on it as Sandor pumps his finger into you.

“Shit.” Kylo moans when he has a taste of your cunt. Sandor was right.

Kylo pulls Sandor’s finger and tells him to stick it in your mouth. “Give her a taste of her heavenly cunt.”

You open your mouth wide when Sandor laid next to you. He watched in surprise how you acted. You sucked his fingers, moaning at the taste of your slick on his thick digits.

“Sandor.” You whispered with a mouth filled with his fingers.

He pulls away to kiss you sweetly and gentle. He wants your first time to be good. He bumps his nose with yours and looks at Kylo.

“Look at him.” Sandor whispers in your ear as you whine in pleasure when Kylo puts your legs on his shoulders.

“It’s happening again.” You cry out as you grind yourself on Kylo’s face, his nose is pressing against your clit.

“That’s it.” Sandor tells you. “Cum all over his face.”

Sandor saw you looking between him and Kylo, when you reached your hand for Sandor’s face. He pressed his lips against yours as you came.

Sandor kissed your cheek, pressing chaste kisses on your face as you breathed heavily. You had thrown your head back trying to catch your breath. Sandor watches your body tremble, he just thinks to himself what a beautiful body you have. All these years you have been hiding this body under your gowns, your skin is glowing, covered in saliva and love bites that are already bruising on your body.

Kylo chuckles as he gently pushes your leg off his shoulder, and crawls on top of you. Sandor looks at him as he smiles wide down at you. His face is glistening as he licks his lips.

“Does it always feel good?” You asked as Kylo laid next to you. You look between them.

“Only when we are doing it.” Sandor answers you as he brings his hand up to touch your body. Kylo smirks at him and nods when you turn to look at them.

“He’s absolutely right. Just us. Only us. Sandor and me.” Kylo touches your inner thighs as Sandor touches your hips.

“Aren’t I fortunate, then.” You said after a few seconds. Their hands never left yours, their dark eyes remained on you.

“I would like to return the favor.” They saw you blushing as you glanced between them, glancing between their legs. Kylo looked over at Sandor, the older guard’s face was pink by your words.

Kylo wanted to roll his eyes at him but he remembered. This is Sandor's first time sharing a woman in bed. Kylo can see Sandor was the type to be territorial. Kylo had shared women with men like that. Kylo has decided he will make this enjoyable for them and for you. He wanted Sandor and you to have a good experience, if both of you did. This wasn't going to be a one time thing.

“My queen, what do you know about sucking cock?” Kylo asked.

“I heard of it from the servants.” You admitted shyly making him grin at you as he squeezed your inner thigh gently.

“Do you hear this, Sandor?” Kylo said with wide eyes as he gave a smile at the older guard.

Sandor nods looking down at you, his rough hands still rubbing your body. “Maybe next time.”

Kylo was happy Sandor was taking a stand, he was wondering if Sandor would just follow whatever he said. “I want to make you feel good as well.”

Kylo watched as Sandor gently cupped your face. “You shall. Tonight it’s about you. Alright?”

Kylo nods at him then at you. “We will have more time for that. Let your strong and trustworthy guards learn their way of their queen’s body tonight.” He tells you as his hand roamed down, over your mound. His fingertips found your clit, he hums when he feels you clenching around him when he slips a finger in.

“Such a greedy cunt.” Kylo tells Sandor as he pulls his finger out and grabs a hold of Sandor’s wrist. Kylo wants him to be comfortable around his touch. Sandor tensed when he felt Kylo’s grab a hold of his wrist. Fingers were wet with your slick, he let Kylo take his arm between your legs. He glanced under you and you were staring down at their joint hands. You were joying this just as much as they were.

“So wet.” Kylo mumbled when he bought Sandor’s hand about your clit as he slipped his fingers inside again.

“Help me.” Kylo said to Sandor as he rubbed your clit again. You began to moan when Kylo thrusted his fingers into you as Sandor worked on your clit.

They had you trembling after your third orgasm. They sucked their own fingers after you came. You felt like mush, you didn't hear them talking to one another. Glancing at them, they were close, Kylo spoke to Sandor in his ear. You moved your hands to grab their attention.

“I like you both like this. Not fighting one another.” You told them and they looked at each other.

“No more fighting.” Kylo said as he lay down next to you on his side while Sandor sat, facing ahead.

Kylo kissed you before you could speak. “Are you up for having sex?” Kylo asked you. He kissed your cheek waiting for your response as Sandor remained still.

“I want it. Both of you.” Kylo calls Sandor’s name as he kisses your neck. “Good.”

“Sandor and I decided. Sandor should go first.” Kylo notices how nervous Sandor and you were.

“Sandor can't help himself.” Kylo whispers. “Such a pretty queen with a greedy cunt. Such a greedy cunt wanting to be filled.”

You blushed by Kylo’s words. “Call for him.” Kylo added, looking over at Sandor who still sat.

“Sandor.” You said his name as Kylo kissed your neck. “Please.” Kylo encouraged you to say more.

“Sandor, please fuck me. I want you. I wanted you for years.” Sandor looks over his shoulder at you. He glances at Kylo who kept nodding at him, telling him to go on.

Kylo parts your legs wider and looks up at Sandor. “It’s rude to have your queen waiting, Clegane.”

“Please.” You begged and Sandor was quick to act, removing his trousers along with his boots. The bed dipped under you when Sandor leaned over you. Kylo pushes your leg up to drape it over Sandor’s thick legs. Your eyes remained at Sandor’s cock. His cock intimidated you, it’s thick and veiny. You feel it against you, it's warm and heavy.

“All of that goes in?” You asked looking up at Sandor who kept rubbing your outer thighs. Kylo laughs making you blush as Sandor rubs your abused clit.

“Indeed.” Kylo answers and you notice his hands, he was touching himself. His cock was much longer and a bit thinner than Sandor. You can see his heavy set balls while Sandor’s dark pubic hid his.

“Can I touch it?” Sandor nods at you and brings your hand onto his cock. Your legs tighten around him as you touch it. You barely could wrap around it. Sandor moans and you quickly let go.

“Did I hurt you?” Kylo giggles and you look over at him.

“Not hurting, pleasuring.” Kylo said, moving your hand back to Sandor’s cock.

Kylo mumbled against your ears, telling you to jerk Sandor’s cock faster. You grew happy when Kylo praised you, he kept telling you that you're doing such a good job touching Sandor.

“Fuck.” Sandor was quick to remove your hand and he leaned down to kiss you.

Kylo stares at how Sandor kisses you, the way you let out a small moan when he grabs your face. Kylo touches his cocks, pumping himself when Sandor pulls away with a grunt as he latches on one of your nipples. Kylo hears you giving permission to Sandor to enter you. Kylo grins himself when Sandor looks over at him and sees him touching himself. Kylo winks at him and Sandor looks down at you.

Kylo doesn’t think he has ever been this hard before, the tip of his cock is leaking and balls are heavy when he sees Sandor thrusting into you. Sandor hides against your neck as he pumps into you. The sight of your face and the sounds you were making him. The sounds of Sandor grunting made him blush.

Kylo notices you looking over at him and he can't help but kiss your lips.

“How does she feel?” Sandor moans when he brings his face away from your neck. He doesn't stop thrusting when he looks at Kylo. Sandor grabs the sheets under you, twisting in a tight fist.

“So, good.” You clench around at his words, your hands touch his chest, running your fingers through his chest hair as he rams into you.

“Oh my, your grace.” Kylo says as Sandor pushes your legs towards your chest. Both men are looking at your cunt being spread open by Sandor’s cock.

Kylo can see Sandor’s cock going in and out of you. You’re crying out in pleasure, Kylo is holding your legs open while Sandor’s keeps fucking you.

“It’s happening again.” You whine looking at them. Kylo’s hand slides its way to your clit, Sandor doesn’t stop, he loves it too much. The way your tight cunt wraps around him, so hot and warm. He groans when he feels you clench around him harder when Kylo begins to rub your throbbing clit.

“Cum on his cock. Cum on Sandor’s cock.” Kylo whispers to you making you cry out when he gently slaps your clit.

Sandor curses loudly when he feels you cumming on his dick. He’s about to blow and slides himself off to jerk himself.

“I want it.” You cry out. Kylo watches Sandor moan loudly when he cums. He shoots his load on your belly.

“Fuck.” Sandor said hoarsely. He watches your fingers scoop his cum from your stomach and bring it up to your lips. He saw Kylo whispering to you, this had to be his idea of you tasting his cum.

Sandor thinks Kylo’s some sex fairy for a second but he was glad that you didn’t mind sharing your bed with two men.

“Sandor.” You call his name with a heave. Sandor notices you open your arms for him and he leans down. He flinches when you cup his burnt cheek, your eyes wide with admiration.

“Thank you.” You told him before kissing him on the lips. He welcomes your lips, kissing you as well.

Kylo gulped when he saw you kissing Sandor, his cock is so painfully hard, it’s throbbing and his balls are aching. He spits in his hand before continuing to jerk himself. He notices Sandor pulling away to kiss your neck. Dark eyes look at Kylo, Sandor licks his lips before looking down at you.

“It’s time for him.” Sandor brushes the strands of hairs off your face.

“He’s going to love this cunt just as much as I did.” You smile up at Sandor and look over at Kylo. Sandor rolls off of you and lays down on the other side. He looks up at the ceiling trying to catch his breath.

He hears your giggling when Kylo crawls over to you. The bed dips and Sandor hears Kylo’s praises. Sandor never watched someone having sex before, he never shared any one. Never been in a relationship before, it’s all new for him but he doesn’t want to give it up. He was nervous when Kylo told him to take you first. He was waiting for Kylo to take advantage of his inexperience but he didn’t. Kylo had told him to take you, make love to you and make you feel good.

“You’re so beautiful.” Kylo moans and Sandor hears him thrusting into you. His cheeks blushes when he hears you. The sound of Kylo’s balls slapping against your ass sounded like music to him.

He looks over and his cock twitches at the lubricious sight in front of him. Kylo caged your head with his arms as he kissed you while thrusting into you. Legs wrapped around his waist. Kylo grunts into you as you drag your nails down his back.

“I’m going to move you.” You nod at him and Sandor bites his lips when Kylo turns you around carefully. Kylo held you for a second as he kissed you, kissing your cheeks and forehead as he pushed you down.

“Just like that.” He moans at the sight of you, down on your hands and knees with your ass in the air.

You look at Sandor and smile at him.

“Is this ok?” You ask them. Kylo says yes and you wait for Sandor’s response.

“Yes, just like that.” Sandor says as he grabs your hand and brings it up to his lips, kissing your knuckles at the same time Kylo slides into you. You hold Sandor’s hand as Kylo begins to thrust.

The bed creaks and you cry out for god.

“There’s no god in here, my queen.” Sandor says, making Kylo laugh.

“Just us.” Kylo adds. Sandor chuckles at him as you begin to push yourself back on his cock making Kylo moan.

“You’re right.” Kylo moans and looks at Sandor.

“So..good. So fucking good.” Kylo grunts as he slams himself all the way to the hilt. His hands hold to your hips, he leans over you making sure you are okay. Sandor slides a bit closer to you, he notices your furrow brows, your eyes clenched shut and your whines grew loudly.

“Cum.” Sandor said as he reaches under, his hand goes over your belly and your mound. He knew you were close especially when you moaned. Sandor touches your clit, he moans deeply when he touches your cunt, so wet with your slick.

“Yes.” Kylo shouts, feeling you clench around him when Sandor rubs you.

Kylo holds himself until he feels you cumming, he won’t stop until you cum on his cock. He feels his heart beating out of his chest, his ears buzzing every time you moan. You sounded better than he imagined.

“Make her cum, Ren.” Sandor encouraged him as he pressed down your clit making you scream.

“Yes. Yes.” Kylo repeats like a mad man as his thrusts become harder hitting your sweet spot over and over again.

Kylo thinks he had died and the gods had blessed him. There was no other pleasure in life now, he told himself when you came on his cock. Sandor pulls away and Kylo cries out when he pulls out of you and finishes himself off. Jerking himself with your slick, he aims on your bare back as you drop down completely on the bed from exhaustion.

Kylo’s stomach tense up and he throws his head back when he spurts cum over your back.

“Fuck.” He’s winded as he lays down next to you on the other side.

Sandor sees you trembling. You open your eyes when you feel Sandor grab a hold of your hand. You give him a small smile before inhaling deeply.

“I didn’t know people could experience this.” You told them softly. You feel Kylo lean over you kissing your shoulder.

“I see why you do it so much.” You turn your face to look at Kylo.

Kylo looks at you seriously as he tries to catch his breath.

“Now, I’m only going to do it with you. I’m yours and only yours.” Kylo repeats the exact same words the three of you said before.

“I’m yours and only yours.” You said it back and it made him smile. He leans close to your face, giving a peck on your lips.

You turn to face Sandor who was staring at both of you. “I’m yours and only yours.”

Sandor looks at you then at Kylo.

Kylo gives him a nod, almost like telling him yes, this can work. It won’t be perfect but it can work between them.

“I’m yours and only yours.” Sandor finally said. Your smile grew and you made him lean over you to kiss him as well.

They helped you clean yourself when they noticed you were drifting off to sleep. They were going to leave to their own room after setting you into bed. They didn’t want to push even more, even though they knew they could still keep going.

“Stay.” You told them as you went to the middle of the bed. Sandor lays on your right while Kylo lays on your left. You slept on Sandor’s chest as Kylo spooned you from behind. Kylo and Sandor slept that night in your bed as well the following night and the night after that.

Years passed and the relationship had flourished well between Sandor, Kylo and you. Some days were good and others were bad, having two hard headed knights who were in love with you, their queen was no easy task and yes, there were consequences when they fought with each other. Like Sandor and Kylo kneeling in front of you naked, their faces inches away from your wet cunt. They have to share and act like good boys for them to be forgiven. Of course, they were good boys, they shared you with your leg over on each of their broad shoulders. They would eat you out until your legs shook and their faces were soak with your slick.

A/n: Can't get this scene out of my mind.

I can imagine one night the three are in bed and it’s the middle of winter. It’s the harshest winter that the kingdom has ever endured. Everyone is cold af and Sandor being the bear he is, is keeping you warm while Kylo is much leaner, he’s freezing his ass off no matter how many fur blankets he has on.

So when Sandor hears you say to Kylo that he should sleep on Sandor’s side to keep warm a mini fight breaks out. Sandor does not want Kylo to touch him in his sleep. You threatened them, that you were going to sleep in front of the fireplace without them and they quickly shut up.

“Fuck, get over here so I can sleep.” Sandor snaps at Kylo.

“Put your arm around him.” Sandor holds his tongue at you and obeys.

“This is nice.” Kylo said, wiggling his eyebrows at you making you giggle as he and you laid your head on Sandor’s chest.

“Stay still.” Sandor said with a huff as Kylo pulled the blankets up. Everyone went to sleep after that, all nice and toasty thanks to Sandor.

#sandor clegane #sandor clegane x reader #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren #kylo ren imagine #sandor clegane imagine #game of thrones #the last duel #sandor clegane au #kylo ren au #throuple #rory mccann #adam driver

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skufdaddyswansea · 7 months ago

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I’m genuinely curious what you would do if you were in Curly’s shoes for the week leading up to the accident. This isn’t a malicious question, I’m just obsessing over his inaction because genuinely considering the circumstances, what could Curly have done to prevent the tragedy? They’re a few months in of a year long expedition— too late to turn back, too early to try and make it to the finish line— and your estranged best friend has done something unforgivable. There’s no temp jail on the ship either. You’re all being fired after this. There’s no way for Anya to get any sort of pregnancy care or an abortion procedure on the ship, and she may well give birth during the trip. It’s like… genuinely, what do you do?

It's hard to say when you're on the outside looking in. When you're looking at someone else failing to do something, and knowing the consequences, it's easy to say "Well, I would have done this differently." But obviously I'm not actually under the same pressure, with a clock ticking over my head or anything, yknow? So all I can say is what I hope I would do.

Ideally, I'd like to think I'd strip Jimmy of his rank. No access to the cockpit, to be accompanied at all times (or at least as much is reasonable. But then I don't know how successfully you can rope Swansea and Daisuke into going along with that.) I can't say how that would turn out for the long term, 8 months is a long time. Especially with everything else going on. So plenty of time for someone to slip up somewhere.

I'd also tell Anya she was welcome to sleep in medical room since it can lock. If I'm being honest she might even be able to convince me to give her the gun under the right circumstances, but I don't really think that's a good thing, that could just as easily become a disaster.

As for the pregnancy that's... much more difficult. There really isn't anything Curly could have realistically done about that by the time he found out. Especially because Anya herself is the nurse. Swansea could potentially have the experience to give her support there but tbh I get the feeling he wasn't particularly involved in that process with his kids either. (...Does Curly have kids?? This is making me realize we don't really know what his family life is like. I get the feeling he's a bachelor though, it probably would have come up if he had a family to worry about. Anyway.) I guess the only thing to do would be to make sure to actually check in on her and give what ever support is possible.

And again, who knows if any of that would have worked out for the better, or if I'd be able to stick to it. No matter what you do it's going to be a bad time.

I guess in the truly ideal situation he'd have spotted the red flags in Jimmy's behaviour and done something about it long before it reached that point, but there's no way he could have known how bad things were going to get that far in advance.

So I get what you mean, I don't envy his position at all lol. Thinking about this did make me realize that I think the way I've been framing my Curly analysis has been a little overly judgemental. I just kind of assumed most people went into the game with the idea that Curly was totally innocent like I did, and then over-corrected to make a point. I still stand by my overall interpretation, but I probably should have been a little more balanced. After all, one of Mouthwashing's strengths is being able to put you in the shoes of someone who does awful things, and showing that they're still just a human with flaws, while not glossing over the ramifications of their actions.

#mouthwashing #mouthwashing spoilers #q&a #analysis & discussion #long post #i should just make that a default tag because my god do i go on

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adventuringblind · 2 years ago

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request idea: fake dating troop for max v xreader, they can’t stand each other maybe she supports Ferrari or smt but secretly admires his talent but he doesn’t know and is kinda of and ass to her and a lot of drama for them to get together idk, maybe there was an wedding and max needed a partner — I’m sorry of this is a lot but I would absolutely love to read something like this 💕

Media Relations

Max Verstappen x Leclerc reader

Genre: a mix of everything?

Summary: the Redbull and Ferrari PR teams think it would be great publicity if you and Max have a relationship. With the promise of your brother getting a better race engineer (and the hint of a crush already) you accept. Max does too, but he hates you for some reason.

Warnings: Max is a jerk, hints at lestappen if you really squint, jos verstappen, not edited

Notes: I felt maniacal writing this tbh.

Masterlist

“No. Absolutely not.”

You stand there watching Charles pace. You can’t tell if your older brother is mad at you or the situation. Maybe both?

“I already signed the contract and so had Max.”

“Why would you do this to yourself? I trust Max, but not like this.”

It had originally been intended for Charles to sign the contract. The teams thought this type of media would be good for them. Neither Max or Charles agreed to it. They don’t want to portray something there not where there are thousands who want to be themselves but can’t. It felt unethical and just generally wrong.

That’s where you come in. If they couldn’t do it with Charles, you’re the next best option.

The contract didn’t offer you anything, other then a possibly happier brother and he knew that. When you did your time, they’d have found him a new race engineer and some better strategists.

He knew you’d give up everything to help him get his dream. That’s why he’s frustrated, not with you, but himself.

“Do you know what Max is getting out of it?”

“He mumbled something about his father but that’s all I got.”

“Just don’t get attached, please, I’m begging you.”

“Don’t worry Charlie, I’ll be fine.”

It was a lie. You knew it was going to be difficult. Mostly because you’d already had a crush in him, it he despises you with a passion,

Regardless, you two walk hand in hand together through the paddock. The fake smiles you give each other gone as soon as your tucked away from the cameras.

“You can go out the back.”

Then he disappears, leaving you stranded in the Redbull hospitality.

Most of the weekend was like this. You had to carefully divide your time between your brother and fake lover. On the bright side, everyone was raving about it. You’d already grown used to toxic fans since you’d been around racing with your brothers your entire life.

You and Max got together a few times a month to stage Instagram photos and go on fake dates.

You were somehow falling for him while he seemed to have a growing dislike for you.

Tonight, you are having dinner in Monaco. Your attempts at starting a conversation are nothing short of pointless.

"Can I ask you a question?" He grunts and doesn't look at you. So you ask anyway. "What was on your contract?"

"Why do you need to know?" Stone cold eyes pierce right through you body.

"I was just wondering. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want."

"I'd rather not talk with you about anything?"

Letting the embarrassment take over, you shift your gaze downwards. You knew what was on the contract. It was all about Jos.

Max was willing to do anything neccecary to please his father. Including getting his father into a higher position of power within the team.

Jos had been messaging you throughout the week with reminders that you're just another step for his son's success. This led to multiple arguments with the older Verstappen because you're not one to back down when defending those you care about. The slander had turned more aggressive recently, and you wanted to talk to Max about it. Too bad he hates you.

"Charlie, I don't think I can do this." You sob to your brother over the phone. "Jos is refusing to leave me alone, and Max hardly spares a glance in my direction if he doesn't have to."

"You can always break things off. I’ll be okay, I promise.”

“No, this will help make your dream come true. It just doesn’t help that I was crushing on Max before we started this.”

Charles sighs heavily. “Chéri, If it comes down to it and Jos doesn’t stop then I will have words with Max.”

“Thank you, Charlie.”

It was nice having a brother that you could rely on. Lorenzo is the oldest and cares, but he has his own family, and Arthur is the youngest, so he had a tendency to steal attention.

With you and Charles both being middle kids, you two stuck together. He was your protective big brother then, and he still is now.

The next morning, you wake up to a shock. The sound of your ring tone echoing through the room.

You lazy grab it off the nightstand and look at the caller ID.

"Max?"

"I'm going to a wedding and need a plus one." He says matter of factly.

"Okay?"

"Come with me? Please? I'd rather go with you than show up alone." The sincerity in his voice sends your head into a mess of thoughts. This stupid Dutch makes no sense!

"Yeah, sure, okay."

"Great, I'll come puck you up tomorrow before noon."

"Wait, Max!" You definitely didn't mean to shout but maybe this is your opportunity to figure this whole thing out.

"Yes?"

"Why do you hate me so much?" Your voice gets quiet again as the anxiety takes over. "I just thank that if I know why then maybe I can change it."

You can hear Max's breath hitch. "It's nit that I hate you. I actually really like you." He sighs out finally. His words don't register in your brain. "I just hate the reason why we're doing this. I didn't want to get my feelings involved"

"I like you too." You say without thinking.

"Really? I thought you were just doing this for whatever is on your contract?"

"I was... but I've liked a certain Dutch with pretty blue eyes and a winners smile for a few years now."

"So what was the contract for then?"

You wonder if you should tell him. Wonder about Jos and how he might have your head later for distracting his son. But you don't care. "A better team for my brother."

"Well, that's selfless of you."

"And you? What is your contract for?" You ask, turning the subject away from yourself.

"My father wants more say in the team."

"Do you want him to have more say?"

There's a pause, and you can hear Max's mind working from the other end of the phone. "Not necessarily."

"Then why do this? Even if you liked me before why take this on?"

"Because my father wants it and I want to please him." You can hear his voice start to break. It hurts to hear him like this. "It's not a big deal though, I'll survive." He downplays. Something she's grown used to with Charles.

"We should probably get some sleep." He follows up with after your lack of response. Your thoughts still moving miles a minute.

"Yes, sorry, your right. I'll see you tomorrow Max."

"See you tommorow."

Just as he says, Max shows up right before noon hits. Knocking of your door in a nice suit.

"Wow." Is what you greet with and your face flush with embarrassment.

"Ditto."

The car ride is too short for your liking. The two of you catch up on life and simply enjoy eachothers company.

The wedding is more of the same. You are tailing Max while he talks to those he knows. It's weird seeing him genuinely smile at you. Finally, he feels like he can let himself give into his heart.

It's sunset now, and you and Max are on a balcony enjoying the view. Secluded from the rest of the guests.

"Thanks for coming with me."

"Thanks for inviting me." You turn your gaze upwards at him. The sun illuminates his skin with a warm glow.

His eyes flick nervously between your eyes and your mouth. He wants to do it but can't get the courage. The intimacy of this is far to much for him.

So you do it instead, and he lets himself relax in the hold of your lips.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to do that."

Max and you weren't pretending anymore, and both teams could see it. Which is why you sit in a cramped conference room with your pr teams and team principles.

You feel out of place since you're not a driver. You don't belong here.

"Your contracts are null now."

"I'm sorry, what?" Your taken aback. How had you violated your contract?

"You two are actually dating now, so the contrat no longer works. We wanted to stage a breakup at the end of it, but we can't do that now."

Max is avoiding the gaze of Jos and plays with your fingers for comfort. His mind boggled with how that has turned from great to shit and five minutes.

After sitting through what the contract being void now entails, you and Max find a quiet spot to talk things out.

"I wanted to help Charlie so bad. Worse is that I don't remember that being in the original contract."

"I think something is definitely wrong here. I may not have liked my end of the deal, but yours was for good reason."

You tear up over thoughts of having to endure another season of Charles getting frustrated with his team after every race.

Max holds you close and wipes your tears away. "Whatever happens we'll figure this out, we're in this together now remeber?"

His words bring a warm feeling to your body. You and Max are a team now even without the contracts. Somehow, that Max you feel even more connected to him.

Part Two? 👀

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itsbubletea · 29 days ago

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OBJECTIFICATION [jjk! various x reader]

1; virgins kiss

warnings: forced kissing, and depictions of objectification. the purpose of this fic is to display objectification while also combining the themes of JJK someone said i should make a tumblr account for this, so here we go...

this is also my first time using the site... and it's kinda cute tbh

Never until now have you hated living.

More exactly, you hated the living. The very creatures that inhabit in your living space, that exist and breathe the same air as you repulsed you. Humans are revolting creatures.

And you hated that you were one of them.

The boys standing before you, who seemed so polite and gentle. The ones that were always willing to give you a spare pencil, or buy you water. Because of them, you had many friends. You were able to become well-recieved in the school, people hung out with you.

Most of all, you thought people liked you. And for once, you were seen for who you are, and that's why they liked you. Their gaze would be full of kindness, their acts of kindness were beautiful-- so beautiful that you could feel love. Or a form of it.

Too bad you've been severely decieved.

Turns out, those boys never saw you as you. Those gestures of kindness, always had another intention. Could they really be kind if they expect something from you in return? Did they ever have the conciousness to realize and recognize that you had feelings, and that you weren't a machine that would spit out favours in return?

Those gentle and kind looks no longer can be found within their gaze.

And that's when it struck you. You should have realized when they asked you to follow them to the school yard that they had ill intentions. No, you should have paid attention to the quiet gaze of your female friends-- who all looked down at the ground, probably embarrassed or shy to admit their intentions.

Now, those boys-- who you thought were your friends-- are biting their lower lips and gazing at you as though you were some alluring object, ready to enchant them with whatever spell you had. Perhaps, you already had.

So, to them, were you always a human, or an object?

"Come on. Isn't it fair that you give us something a little back in exchange? Like how about showing us what you have underneath your skirt."

Their gazes already made you feel nude.

"Aw shit. She's so cute." his friend coos, putting a hand on his own crotch. "Fuck, I just want to see what's underneath that shit. It's nice to finally get something out of being fucking kind for once."

They slap each other's arms, laughing amongst themselves as though they shared a joke.

His words echoes in your mind, over and over again.

Worst of all, their words held some conviction, made you feel obligated to raise your skirt. It suddenly felt wrong to disobey their pleads. You clutch the hem of your skirt, hesitating to pull it up, but your body froze before you hitch the skirt any higher.

If they were kind, wouldn't kindness have some sort of equal reciprocity? The words don't settle properly within you. Since when did acts of kindness mean that you had to lift up your skirt for their pleasure? You know that lifting up your skirt meant their sexual gratification, or potentially, your sexual humiliation.

You might have lifted up your skirt if their acts of kindness gave you sexual gratification. But it didn't. None of their acts of kindness had ever turned you on.

If this was humanity, you didn't want to be a part of it.

For better of for worse, you realize you might not even be human. If you were, wouldn't your act of reciprocity be the equivalent of their acts of kindness?

Or did their acts of kindness warrant you to lift up your skirt?

If it was so difficult for them to do these acts of kindness for you, it would make sense that you did an equally difficult thing.

You gulp hard as your fingers clutch on the hem of the skirt even tighter. Your mind is telling you to lift the material up, but cell in your body told you it was wrong, very wrong to even give the boys a glimpse of what they desire.

The situation was laughable.

All you did was exist. Did their actions really warrant such a favour? All you did was laugh with them, hang out with them, and spoke to them. You were acknowledged, seen, by them. You made sure that you were a good girl, following the rules, listening to what people said to you, and mindlessly following these boys to the back of the school yard.

Perhaps you shouldn't trust so easily. Yeah, that's right, you shouldn't open your mind, and your heart to others so easily without recognizing their true intentions first.

This is what you deserve. If you had only prepared yourself before, you'd have known what you were getting yourself into. It's your fault for going in blind.

want to read more check it out here it's a little too long to publish all of it here on this website

anyway, thank you for reading <3

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witchyleehibernates · 2 months ago

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I did a little something while planning an idea

The first time it happened, Grian was sure it had been a fluke.

And it was.

It had to have been.

The second time, Grian had worried, but he brushed it off.

There was no way that the Watchers could have possibly found him. Not on Hermitcraft... Not with Xisuma layering protections over the server; through the server.

They couldn't have.

He shouldn't have brushed it off.

The third time... Grian felt like he was breaking. Something was changing within himself...

And others were starting to remember... Or no...

Just the Winners.

The Winners were remembering everything. And they were changing too.

By the fifth, he felt defeated. He'd tried everything to escape. He tried everything to not play the games that the Watchers demanded.

He lost every time.

By the sixth... Grian felt like he was stuck in a never ending loop; and he couldn't even tell anyone about it.

He would know... He's tried every time to tell Xisuma about the crack --- which was probably there since Season 8.

A voice whispers at the back of his mind now. A near constant reminder...

"The house always wins."

The Watchers always win.

----------------------------------------

This started as a way for me to note down something I wanted to remember tomorrow... And turned into a rough draft of the start of a Oneshot Fic for a series I've slowly been developing.

So enjoy

Feel free to leave ideas, thoughts and opinions about it. Would love some, tbh (Life Series things, ya know? jfnsnanfn)

I skipped the fourth, cause honestly.... I don't remember the fourth season... The order of seasons is so difficult for me to remember and idk why 😭

My idea was that the Rift (season 8? Right?) caused the Watchers to be able to find Grian... That being said, if anyone remembers when the first life series season was held in regards to the Hermitcraft timeline, I would love to know!!

* edit: I've been informed the first life series started towards the end of Season 7 of Hermitcraft... This alters my idea a bit but I will make it work!!

#life series #the life series #grian #watcher grian #my writing

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adrianicsea · 4 months ago

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it may seem a bit trite to do so, but i realized i don’t make all that many REALLY personal posts about my life on this blog anymore, and as new years’ eve draws near, i wanted to share some of the highlights of what i’ve seen and done this year with you all! the way i use this blog may have changed, but it’s still the longest and most self-reflective diary of my lifetime so far 🩵

in the beginning of the year, one of the resolutions i made to myself was to get engaged to my now-husband! we celebrated our fifth anniversary as a couple in february, and in august, with the help of all of our closest friends, i was able to make our engagement night really special and something that we’ll both remember forever. he had no idea it was coming, which really made me happy, because i feel like i struggle to plan surprises!

while i did NOT make a new years’ resolution to get fully MARRIED, the outcome of the presidential election motivated us both to at least get legally married before the year ends, as we live in a state where marriage equality will immediately go away if obergefell v hodges falls in the supreme court. so we got married! our full, originally-planned ceremony still waits for us next autumn, but i’m still very excited and feel very safe to have it in legal writing. my insurance will also be much better now!!

on the note of insurance, i finally got top surgery this year! it’s something that i’ve known i wanted for more than half of my life, but it was never really financially (or emotionally tbh) accessible for me until now! i was pretty scared, as i’d never had any sort of major surgery before, but i’ve been SO happy and at home in my body ever since!! i was also able to get through the surgery and the recovery without my parents even knowing about it, which was a really great confidence booster for me— to see that i AM able now to get on in life and that i’ve found a support system who can help me with the things that my parents can’t or won’t.

march of this year marked my first full year of consistent therapy, and i’m nearly at two years now! being able to see an lgbt-specialized therapist has made a HUGE difference in my ability to really be vulnerable and discuss things with my therapist, and i feel as though i’m really starting to see how therapy has positively affected me in the ways that i think, view my feelings, and communicate with others. i feel like i understand my emotions better now than i ever have, and like i’m more confident and less afraid of standing up for myself and having difficult, potentially conflicting conversations!

i’ve been working on understanding and accepting my autism, and with seeing how it has affected my childhood and teenage years. i thought that the initial shock and reconciliation of realizing i’m autistic would be the only hurdle, but now i’m starting to see that there’s a lot of pain and emotional work that goes it to FULLY accepting it as a part of yourself and seeing the pain that it caused you (or at least, this is how i’ve felt about it).

partially related to the above, i’ve been making more of an effort to try new things, be more social, and to step out of my comfort zone in ways that aren’t TOO frightening for me! this year i went camping for the first time ever, went to my first renaissance faire, and formed a LOT of new friendships with all sorts of people, both in my city and online. i’ve also been trying to stop diluting/masking so much of myself in person, and while that still feels like a work in progress, it’s been really wonderful to find that people in the real world DON’T automatically write me off as weird if i go to the bar with earplugs or talk at length about my love and study of horror movies.

this may sound a bit paradoxical after some of what i’ve said already, but i feel like i’ve become closer to my parents and improved my relationship with them this year. we have a… challenging relationship due to differences in religious opinion, political views, and some generational differences in how we view mental health and emotional openness. i really resented my parents for a long time for their (inadvertent) emotional neglect of me as a child, but after having a really rewarding conversation with them about my transition and how their refusal to accept it has affected me, i feel like i was FINALLY able to understand and forgive them for a lot of the things i’ve been carrying against them all this time. we still don’t have the perfect relationship, and there are lots of things i hope my parents will grow and improve on (like STILL misgendering and deadnaming me after all this time lmao), but i feel like now i’m able to better understand where they’re coming from and to meet them where they’re at, so to speak. it’s always been difficult for me to accept that i might just never have the warm, emotionally effusive relationship i used to idealize having with them, but this year i feel like i’ve finally been able to make peace with the fact that they just aren’t those kinds of people. and that’s okay!

and here’s some other “smaller” things i did this year that made it feel a little fuller and brighter:

got a new tattoo, my most complex one yet! for the tv show that brought my husband and i together 🥹

got to see both MY favorite band AND my husband’s favorite band in our home city in the same year! i even got to be on the barricade for the first time at one of these shows!

got a piece of my writing published (and printed!!) in a fan zine!

got REALLY into final fantasy xiv, which has been my most-played game of the year and has become both a fun way to bond with my friends who also play AND a really nice emotional grounding tool!

i bought a five-year journal at the beginning of this year, and with the exception of a few days (maybe 7 or less total), i’ve filled out every day of it this year! it’s my first time ever completing one year of a planner/journal like that :)

did the daily sudoku puzzle on my sudoku app every day this year, and within the last three months, started doing the puzzmo daily crossword every day as well!

improved some of my art techniques, and learned a lot of techniques and technical skills for the digital art program i use!

started making more of an effort to spend time with my childhood friend of 20+ years, with whom i’d drifted apart a bit recently!

started learning how to typeset, print, and bind my own books, and even printed/bound my first big-ish book to give as a christmas gift this year!

sought out more movies from outside the US and/or from before the 1970s to watch. still not as many as i’d like, but i’m happy to have begun diversifying my film habits :)

learned to cook shakshuka, which has gone on to become one of my favorite meals to cook at home and a huge comfort food!!

my husband and i started going to the gym, as much as our busy schedule will allow us to :)

when i look back at 2024, one of the big regrets that sticks out to me is that i didn’t do more writing— ESPECIALLY sleeping with ghosts, my longest and most emotionally-invested project and one i REALLY want to make sure i finish. but when i think about how much growing and learning and DOING i did this year, it’s hard to be too mad at myself for not writing more! maybe it’s just that i’m getting older, but i’ve spent a lot of my 20s so far feeling like a child in suspended development, wondering when i was finally going to feel like a “real” adult. 2024 has FINALLY been that year for me— i can see the progress i still need to make, but i can also see all the HUGE steps i’ve made this year to become a more fully-realized version of myself, and now i feel excited and capable to continue on that journey!! hopefully including finishing SWG, as well as finishing/starting on some other writing ideas i’ve had.

if you’ve read all this, thank you so much for taking the time, and for following me on this blog! whether we’re longtime friends, recent mutuals, or even if we haven’t spoken, i hope that this year has been kind to you, and even if it wasn’t, i hope that 2025 is a better, easier year for you 🫂🩵

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sleeplesssmol · 1 year ago

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HC: Looking at all the promotional art, I believe Sonetto and Schneider would have been friends.

Regulus and Vertin's relationship have a similar same vibe as Sonetto and Schneider's. That friend who drives you nuts but you're a pretty awesome duo.

Vertin's involvement might complicate things but I can see them teaming up on her when she does something stupid or fighting side by side to protect the crew.

If I had to use the lore and context around Reverse 1999 to explain how Vertin, Sonetto, and Schneider's dynamic would work, it'd be a compromise. While others may say Vertin would be the reason they fight, I'd say she's one of the things that draws them together and makes them appreciate each other. Here is how I see it:

Schneider understands what it means to sacrifice and provide for a family. She knows the struggle of fighting against a world constantly taking from you. She and Vertin have a natural chemistry because of these experiences. Sonetto understands this and instead of being jealous (not that she isn't at times but she learns to let go), comes to realize its good for Vertin's mental health. They "get" each other. At the end of the day, Sonetto wants what's best for Vertin.

While there was turbulence in the past, Sonetto's devotion to the Timekeeper is unwavering. Vertin isn't impartial either since we know Sonetto lives rent free in her head from the trails (analysis of this here). Sonetto grew up and is willing to cast aside her faith in the Foundation if it means protecting Vertin. Schneider finds that admirable and its gives her a sense of security. Sonetto is someone she can depend on, which is a big deal considering she's used to being the "rock" in her family holding everyone up.

At first its like "I need to keep you around for Vertin's sake."

But then it turns into "I'm happy you're here."

Vertin's always making sacrifices for people. They'd rather compromise than force her into a position they know she can't handle (no matter what Vertin decides, someone will get hurt).

On that note, they do exist outside of Vertin. Schneider might enjoy telling Sonetto about her home country while Sonetto eagerly listens. Sonetto doesn't know much about the outside world, but she can share insight on the world of arcanum. Its utterly insane and Schneider is amused by this. They teach each other things and also complain to each other about Vertin's gremlin ways.

Moving on, it's possible to have complicated feelings for more than one person. The important thing is deciding on whether or not you want to pursue a future with with them.

I'm about to drop a hot take so hot it could burn you. This is an opinion that ties into my HC. Ok, here I go.

Love isn't just feelings, it's work. You need to put work into a relationship or else it'll fall apart.

There are so many people on this earth. In my eyes it's normal to going to have chemistry or complicated feelings for more than one person in your lifetime.

But you choose the people you love out of the other potential candidates because you see a future with them. It's not about what you feel today but what you're going to feel years down the line so you devote your time and energy to those people in you life. You see something worth fighting for which is why you commit to those people (could apply to all relationships honestly).

That's why I HC Sonetto and Schneider like this. They could move on. Sure it'll hurt, but its not impossible. However, they found someone they want that future with. Someone with a lot of love to give yet asks for none in return, which is really sad tbh. If Vertin's not going to love herself then damn it they will! Maybe its unconventional and sometimes difficult, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth it.

#reverse 1999 #schneider #vertin #sonetto #reverse 1999 hc #character dynamics #this game has the best set up for complex relationships that would function within its context #TOO BAD IT WONT HAPPEN #guess i'll cry

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vodkacheesefries · 7 months ago

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big spoilers for dragon age the veilguard from early access players beneath the cut.

Also lengthy rambling/opinions.

proceed at thine own peril

In theory I'm okay with things being boiled down into a handful of simple questions to help new incoming players establish a background for their game.

HOWEVER, we're only getting three, and those are:

Did your Inquisitor disband/keep the Inquisition?

Did they vow to save/stop Solas?

Who did they romance?

That's it. This is. A choice.

I get it. it's been 10 years since Inquisition came out and longer since DA2 and DAO. A lot of people probably haven't played the early games, and there are hundreds if not thousands of choices across all three games that including them in Veilguard would be difficult.

But there are a handful of choices/decisions that it is absolutely wild to me that they aren't including in Veilguard's questionnaire. At the bare minimum I was hoping for the following:

What was the fate of your Grey Warden?

What was the fate of your Hawke?

Who drank from the Well of Sorrows?

Did your Inquisitor disband/keep the Inquisition?

Did your Inquisitor vow to save/stop Solas?

That's it! Only two more questions than we already have, and two of them are the same as the ones we're getting. All of the important story choices, and small choices that you could make in the prior games boil down to the fate of your character in that game so there's no need to get more detailed than that.

For example, obviously if your Warden survived the final battle, the dark ritual took place, so there's no need to ask more about it. Obviously if Hawke was left in the fade, they didn't go to Weisshaupt, and Alistair/Loghain/Stroud stayed in the Fade. Obviously if Morrigan drank from the well of Sorrows, your Inquisitor isn't going to be linked to Mythal, but Morrigan is.

Those feel like arguably the most important story beats from the previous games and I feel like that still keeps it simple enough and doesn't rely on importing potentially thousands of choices you made across the three prior games, while still explaining just enough without having to explain too much to new players.

(side note: I suppose if we want to get extra fancy we can add a question for "Who did your Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor romance" because callbacks to those relationships have always been fun, especially if we're getting any sort of cameo of past companions. Which at this point, I don't think we are.)

As far as past player characters returning, I get why that's hard to do because there's so many different endings for the Warden, and even Hawke post Inquisition. Would I like for them to show back up? Sure. But I'm okay if they don't.

TBH the most I've been hoping for is that maybe somewhere in a level/mission you're on, maybe with Davrin, you could find an easy to miss crumpled up letter/codex entry on it talking about how if your Warden was still alive they found a cure and disappeared into a well deserved retirement and to not bother them with anymore end of the world bullshit ever again.

Hell, I'd even accept it if it mentioned they'd started hearing the Calling and went to the Deep Roads and they're sorry they couldn't do more. I just want to know what happens to them. It doesn't have to be a pivotal plot point or anything.

Crumbs.

I am begging for crumbs, Bioware.

PS: I know it sounds like I'm being incredibly critical of the game, but I am actually very excited for it and I do think I'll enjoy it, despite any ties, or lack thereof, to prior games. I'm a big fan of being critical of the things you enjoy.

Now if you want me to get really critical because I don't like something, ask me how I feel about Inquisition because WHOOO boy I could give a Ted Talk about how much I dislike Inquisition.

#dragon age #spoilers #dragon age spoilers #datv spoilers #veilguard spoilers #the veilguard spoilers #dragon age 4 spoilers #dragon age the veilguard spoilers #did i miss any lmao #idk how to make it more clear this is spoilers #SPOILERS.

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dizzyjelly · 2 years ago

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Better Than Him(18+)

Word count: 3.3k

Summary: Your boyfriend Derek says something offensive about your bsf Abby, you get into a fight with him then Abby comforts you. Then she spends the night and you wake up after a spicy dream and you two get up to some fun.

Cw: rude bf, fighting, cheating, smut, thigh riding, pussy eating, slight overstimulation

It was a relaxing afternoon in your dorm as usual. You'd just been sat on your loveseat, your bestfriend Abby next to you. The both of you had been sitting in a comfortable silence for a while, when your phone buzzed. Abby glanced over for a second, trying to see who it'd been. But it wad out of her view. She wasn't too worried though. You rolled your eyes with a light scoff.

"It's Derek, asking me to come over." You told her.

"Just tell him you're busy." She shrugged, continuing to scroll through tiktok on her phone.

"Yeah, yeah, already on it." You responded.

Derek: Come over? I'm bored lol

You: Sorry, can't! Abbys hanging at my place rn

Derek: fr? Wtf

You: Wdym?

Derek: nothing. I just don't like her is all.

You: wth. Why.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, your brows furrowing mostly with confusion and a bit of frustration. Sure, Derek never loved Abby, but he hadn't ever expressed negative feelings towards her before. Abby took notice to your change in demeanor, but decided not to say anything. Not yet at least.

It bothered you, what he'd said. Because she was your best friend after all. You guys had known each other since middle school, and he know how inexplicably close you were.

"Derek's being weird." You announced with a sigh as he typed.

"How?" Abby asked, setting her phone down as she leaned against the back of the couch and looked over at you.

"He said he didn't like you." You explained and looked back at her.

Immediately Abby felt confused, and a little annoyed. Because what the hell? She wasn't worried you'd choose him over her one bit, but it definitely bothered her hearing this. She tried to conceal the evident change in her mood, but you noticed anyways.

"Oh." Was all she said.

"I don't know what his fucking problem is." You responded, the frustration very evident in your voice.

Abby chewed at her thumbnail quietly as you were busy reading his response.

Derek: I mean she's honestly kind of a bitch and she's clearly obsessed with u lol. Idek why you're friends with her tbh.

You: you're kidding right? That is so fucking rude she's literally been my best friend for years how could u even say that?

You: I don't even wanna talk to you. Don't text me for a while.

Derek: what? Babe ur being dramatic, I'm just telling the truth.

And with that you silenced notifications from him and closed your messaging app. A bitter scoff fell from your lips as you shut your phone off and practically threw it into your lap. Abbys brows raised at this, intrigued at what he said to get you so upset.

"What? What did he say?" She asked, leaning closer to you.

"Nothing, don't worry about it. He's being an idiot. Let's just talk about anything else, please." You rolled your eyes, not even wanting to think about him.

Abby respected your wishes of course, instead talking about one of her class assignments. She ranted about how difficult it would be, and asked if you'd help her with it. You said yes of course. Then once she was bored of that she suggested watching a movie. You agreed and soon the two of you were under the covers in your bed, backs against the headboard.

You set your laptop up on your legs, giving each of you a nice and comfortable view. Abby would only ever suggest horror so you just let her pick the movie without sny protest. She settled on a movie called Lights Out. As per usual, you found yourself resting you head on her shoulder as you wrapped your hands around her forearm.

You always seeked comfort during scary movies, and she had no problem providing you with that. With every jumpscare you'd yelp and turn so your face was pressed against Abbys shoulder. She'd chuckled lightly at your scaredy-cat demeanor, which she'd tease you relentlessly for later. The movie was nearly over when somebody knocked at your door, you thought maybe it was your floor supervisor doing a check-in.

"Babe? Come on, please let me in." Then you heard his voice.

You let out an angry huff, pausing the movie and looking over at Abby. She crossed her arms as she sat uncomfortably, watching as you got uo reluctantly to answer the door.

"What? I said I didn't wanna talk to you." Your tone was harsh as you answered the door.

"I know I just-" he stopped when he caught a glimpse of Abby, in your bed, "she's still here? And why is she in your bed? What the fuck!" He exclaimed.

"Oh my God. We were watching a movie! Now what do you even want?" You asked, already beyond annoyed.

"Well, I just came to try and reason with you." He answered.

"Ok and how are you gonna do that? What you said way completely insulting, I'm not gonna hear you out on this." You chuckled bitterly, turning around and walking into your room more.

Unfortunately he'd followed you in, Abby had moved to the edge of your bed now. She was nervous, never having seen the two of you fight before. She'd only heard of arguments from you, never actually witnessed it firsthand.

"Come on, you have to admit there was some truth to what I said!" He yelled, having closed your door behind him.

"There's really not though! Not in my eyes at least, don't you have anything else to say?" You asked, clearly expecting an apology.

"Like what? If you're looking for a sorry I'm not giving you one." He spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

He stood his ground, crossing his arms as he was frozen in place. You sighed, bringing a hand to your face, resting it over your eyes. Abby stood now, coming to your side. Derek scoffed at this.

"Hey, it's fine." She whispered in your ear, a hand on your shoulder to comfort you.

"No it's not. I just want him out." You whispered back as you turned to face her, biting your lip nervously.

"Then just kick him out." She shrugged.

Your turned back around to face Derek, crossing your own arms as you stepped closer to him. He smiled at you smugly, clearly expecting something very different than what you were about to say.

"You need to leave. Get out, now." Your voice was stern.

"What? You're not serious." He shook his head in disbelief.

"Yeah, I am. Just get the fuck out. I don't want you here!" You shouted at him now, throwing your arms into the air frustratedly.

"Whatever man." He rolled his eyes, exiting and slamming the door shut behind him.

A deep sigh fell from your lips as you felt exhausted and drained. You sat on your loveseat once again, your head falling into your hands as tears welled in your eyes. It wasn't really the fact you argued with him, you just felt overwhelmed. Which was the worst for you.

Abby frowned as you started to cry, sitting close next to you as she brought an arm around your shoulders. You leaned into her almost immediately, wrapping your arms around her and she did the same. She rubbed at your back soothingly as you cried into her chest.

"Hey, it's gonna be fine ok? I'm here." She spoke softly, and you just nodded.

Eventually you calmed down, and of course because Abby helped you. She'd offer to stay the night, which you enthusiastically agreed to. You'd give her a t-shirt to borrow, and she'd just leave her basketball shorts from the day on. Then you got yourself changed, comfortable in just panties and an oversized t-shirt that was just long enough to reach past your ass.

You let her get into bed first, shutting off the light then laughing as you practically fell on top of her when you got into bed. She laughed too, feeling her cheeks burn red hot at the feeling of your body against hers in such an intimate way. Her hands found their easy to rest on the small of your back, your own resting on her shoulders.

She thanked the lord you'd shut off the light because otherwise she's sure you'd see how hard she was blushing. Or how she bit her lip so damn hard it nearly bled. After a moment, you rolled over and face the wall.

"Go to bed you goof." You whispered out, pulling your blanket to your chin.

"Good night." Was Abbys response as she lied down, facing you.

"Night." You responded, closing your eyes.

You'd fall asleep in no time, meanwhile Abby was having trouble. She just stared at your back, the way your hair fell on your shoulders. It was hard to not let her mind wander to not so clean places. Not like she's never thought about you in that way before, but this time felt different.

You two had cuddled before sure, but something about earlier felt so much more tense. The way you didn't say anything, just lied there. Then she thought about Derek. She knew you guys had sex before, but just the though of it disgusted her.

Realistically, Abby knew she could give you so much better. But she wasn't even sure if you liked girls. And if you did, why would you like her? You were just best friends after all, and making things romantic could just ruin everything. She was willing her mind to shut off now, tossing and turning uncomfortably. Then she heard you gasp awake.

"Y/n? You ok?" She asked, turning to face you once again.

"Yeah, yeah. Just had a nightmare is all." You answered, breathing a bit heavily as you turned to face her.

"Aw, sorry." She brought a hand to rest on your shoulder.

"Thanks." You brought your hand to your shoulder as well, resting it atop hers.

"Do you wanna talk about it or anything?" She asked.

"No, no. Actually would you- could you just hold me?" You asked, your voice shaking the slightest with nerves.

"Yeah, of course." Abby answered, which had a sigh of relief falling past your lips.

She pulled you into her side, and you wasted no time in wrapping your arms around her as you buried your face into her. And then, you hiked your leg up over her own. Abby swore she might stop breathing as she could feel the material of your panties against her bare leg. It was like something out of a wet dream.

She wrapped her arms around you as her mind went wild. It took all her willpower not to ask to fuck you right then and there, but she managed. The both of you fell asleep within the next hour.

Usually when you'd cuddle with Abby, you'd sleep throughout the night. But tonight was different. You woke up at nearly two in the morning, trying to catch your breath and wondering why you felt so weird. Then you realized, you had a sex dream... about Abby! What the hell!

This was new and very surprising. You wouldn't expect that in a million years. Well, maybe that's a stretch, but still. It was hard not to notice how wet you were, surely a spot had formed on your panties by now. You let out a low whine as you nuzzle your face into Abbys neck, your lips pressed against the side of it.

"Abbyyy. Abby wake up." You whined, shaking her lightly by holding onto her shoulder.

You waited as she finally stirred awake, groaning as her hand rested on your back. She closed her eyes as she talked to you.

"What?" She asked, tired.

"Abby don't go back to sleep. I- I need you." You stuttered as you spoke, feeling embarrassed.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Her eyes were definitely open now.

"Like- I need you." You let out a small whimper.

Abby soon got your message loud and clear as you started to kiss along her neck, leaving one hickey for good measure. Her breath hitched as you continued, kissing along her jaw ten making your way to her pulse point. A low moan came from her as you began to lightly suck and nip at it.

"Y/n, I don't know if this is a good id-" You put a hand over her mouth as you began to straddle her, your hair falling so it tickled the sides of her face.

"Come on Abby. Let's just help each other out. It can be a one time thing if you want." You whispered in a sultry voice.

"Fuck, ok." She did not want it to be a one time thing, but she'd be damned if she didn't let this happen right now.

Abby brought her hands to your waist, and you leaned forward to connect your lips to her own. She let her hands roam your body as you deepened the kiss, moaning into her mouth when she slipped her tongue into yours. The way she swirled it around your own drove you crazy, it felt like you were seeing stars.

You let out a sigh as you sat up, throwing your head back with pleasure as Abby squeezed your plump ass. She then moved her hands to your thighs, moving them so that you only straddle her left thigh. You bit down at your bottom lip, a smile on your face as you stabilized yourself by putting your hands on her chest.

Ever so slowly, Abby began to grind your hips. It put a delicious pressure to your clit, even through your panties. It didn't take you long yo remove them though, your bare cunt now gliding beautifully against her upper thigh. She'd flex it every so often, causing you to moan even louder than you already were. Abby smiled, letting out a small groan at the feeling of your slick gathering on her thigh.

"Fuckkk Abby~ you dont even know h-how long I've wanted th-this." You stuttered on your words as her hand remained on your hips, continuing to help you as you grinded against her.

"Tell me about it." She chuckled, admiring you as your eyes squeezed shut and your mouth hung open.

You brought your hands to Abbys shoulders now, your vocabulary consisting only of abbys name and a few curses. Given you weren't really talking much, mostly moaning pathetically as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to your release. A few more minutes passed and you knew if Abby kept going you'd cum.

"I'm gonna-" You moaned loudly, cutting yourself off, "gonna cum." You whined, gasping lightly.

"It's alright baby, go ahead. Come on, cum for me." She helped you continue as your hips stuttered.

And when you finally came, it was like you'd gone to heaven and back. You'd never felt this euphoric with anyone before. Abby smiled at you as you came down from your high, a small laugh falling past your lips.

You let out a quiet whine as you let your head fall to rest on her shoulder, her arms wrapped around you as you stayed sat in place. Abby rubbed her hands up and down your back, placing kisses along your cheek and down to the side of your neck.

"We done or did you wanna keep going?" She whispered.

"I definitely don't wanna stop." You whispered back, pulling your head up to kiss her on the lips.

Then you began to kiss her jaw, and down her neck. You went all along her collarbones, your hands running up and down her sides. You gazed up at her with a smile, brining your hands to the hem of her shirt and waiting for the ok. She nodded and lifted her arms, you pulled her shirt off and tossed it somewhere on the floor.

You brought your hands immediately to her tits, squeezing them gently then rolling her hard nippled between your fingers as you kissed down between them. You couldn’t help but laugh as you got her tummy and blew a raspberry on it. She laughed too.

"Wh- did you just blow a fuckin' raspberry down there?" She asked as she propped her elbows up on either side of herself.

"Maybe..." You answered shyly, chuckling.

"Just be quiet and let me do this." You spoke with some authority now.

"Yes ma'am.." She answered, closing her eyes as her head fell to rest on your pillows.

You'd kissed all the way down to the waistband of her shorts, looking up once again and waiting until she nodded before pulling both them and her panties off in one swift motion. Abby let out a deep moan as you licked a slow stripe up through her folds, collecting the majority of her slick onto the tip of your tongue. You groaned at the delightful taste of her.

Her moans grew louder as you wrapped your lips around her clit, sucking harshly before drawing figure 8's on it with the tip of your tongue. Then you shifted so you could bring a hand up, easily sliding in your middle and ring finger into her aching hole. Her breath stuttered as you curled your fingers, perfectly hitting her g-spot while continuing your assault on her clit.

Abbys hands gripped the sheets so hard her knuckles turned white, and she felt that familiar pressure building in her stomach. Unable to control herself, she jerked her hips forward and grinded onto your face. You let out a small moan, the vibration sending an entire new wave of pleasure to the blonde girl.

Her thighs closed instinctively as she reached her high, and you let them. Her chest rose and fell at a fast pace as she moaned and gasped through her blinding orgasm.

"Oh- God. I fucking love you Y/n." She moaned and your heart skipped a beat.

You didnt stop even after she came, until she used a hand to push you away, the overstimulation becoming too much to handle. You listened, pulling back with a sigh.

"Mm, fuck. Get up here and kiss me." Abby spoke breathlessly.

You listened immediately, crawling over top of her as you caged her between your arms. Your hands placed on the sheet as you leaned forward and sloppily kissed Abby. She whined at the taste of herself on your tongue, brining her hands to the back of your neck and tangling them in your hair. Once you pulled away your used the back of your hand to wipe her juices from your chin.

"Abby... I love you too." You spoke as you rested your forehead against hers.

She laughed, her hands now coming to hold your face lovingly. Her laughter was infectious as ever, causing small giggles to fall past your lips as well. You continued to giggle as she kissed each of your cheeks, the tip of your nose, your forehead, and then finally your lips.

"I'm gonna go get a washcloth, mkay?" You told her, already standing to make your way tonthe bathroom.

You came back to find Abby pulling her shirt back on. She smiled at you as you walked over to her, wiping both her thigh and between her legs. Then you cleaned yourself before tossing the washcloth into your hamper then putting a new pair of panties on. Abby put her own back on, letting her shorts stay on the floor.

Abby ran her hands through her hair, waiting for you to join her back into bed. She layed on her side and held her arms out for you. You wasted no time in curling up against her, wrapping your arms around her and nuzzling your face into her neck. Abby held you and rubbed your back until you both fell asleep again.

#abby anderson x reader #abby x reader #abby anderson x f!reader #abby x fem!reader #abby anderson x y/n #abby x y/n #abby anderson x you #abby x you #abby smut #abby anderson smut #abby anderson

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kozachenko · 9 months ago

Text

A Retrospective Analysis on Touhou 17

So it's finally here, and even though I know for a fact that I am not going to be able to get the Keiki drawing done by this time (I'm having trouble with the eyes, for some reason it's always that aspect of drawing her that's difficult for me, I can never really capture the essence of her character no matter what I do) I still wanted to post something about this game today since it's the game's 5 year anniversary. I have a lot of thoughts on it, and my views on the game have changed quite a lot throughout my time being a Touhou fan. This is going to be very long so I'll put the rest under the keep reading tag.

So for some background, Touhou 17 was the first Touhou game I ever played, I got into the series during 2021 shortly after my Hunter X Hunter phase ended (since the manga was still on hiatus at the time) and I remember playing 17 during that time as well. I'm pretty sure that the reason I played it was because of that one nitirushh animation where Keiki disses the animal spirits so hard that they die (still my favourite fan-depection of Keiki tbh, it's just really funny to me) and that set my interest in the game itself. It was also the newest Touhou game at the time and none of the other games interested me as much. Then I actually played the game and at the time I found it insanely fun. I remember feeling so excited playing the stage 1 of the game and thinking to myself "Holy shit I'm actually playing a Touhou game" and having a lot of fun with it. Even though the game itself is the easiest out of all the Touhou games, it was still a challenge for me at the time since I had never played a bullet Hell before. For this reason, the game as a whole struck a chord with me. Funny Touhou animation aside, I don't know if it was because I had only recently gotten out of my Hunter X Hunter phase after finishing the whole 2011 version of the anime and had caught up with the manga during 2020, but maybe some aspect of 17 kinda scratched a similar itch in my brain and it really stuck with me IDK.

As for what I think of the game itself now.... gameplay wise, it could be better, it's still fun but there was so much potential for the game to tell it's story through the medium it chose to present itself in. Why did we not have more similarities between Eika and Keiki's danmaku styles to show their connection? Why did we not have a moment similar to what happened in TD during the final boss fight where Mayumi comes back in to take over during the fight in a last ditch effort to protect Keiki? It's the final boss so go all out! The animal spirits could also be balanced a lot better as well, especially with Youmu becoming incredibly overpowered with the wolf spirit, and visibility is a bit of a problem in this game. Some of the tracks could use a bit more polish too, I commend ZUN for being experimental with his newer tracks but the stage 3 theme and staff roll theme are both kinda eh, and while the boss themes have a lot of good punch to them and can be really good, it still feels like some extra spice could've been added to really make them stand out (which is why I love the theme remixes Saki and Yachie got in Touhou 19). I also wish the Animal Realm got explained better within the lore of the series, mainly because it raises a lot of questions about how Hell was founded and it kinda needlessly complicates things. I would've rather it be introduced as it's own region of Hell rather than being a separate thing entirely that just so happens to be located next to it. I also wish that we got more stuff with this setting that explains how it connects to the rest of the worldbuilding a lot more, I definitely feel like actually having it explained more in the mangas would definitely help to make it feel less convuluted, but unfortunately the closest we're getting are cameos in Lotus Eaters and very brief mentions of the games themselves. I still like the game though, as I've mentioned I do love a lot of the music and I love all the characters we got introduced to in this game. I've been appreciating Eika a lot more recently, I do like Urumi but she's neat and I like her design a lot, Kutaka is a fucking shithead who kept FUCKING UP MY 1CCS IN BOTH 17 AND 17.5 THE FUCKING BITCH- who is very funny and I love seeing more insight into Hell's management. Yachie's great and I find her relationships to the other characters in this game very interesting, Mayumi is awesome and the more I think about her the more I like her, and I love how Saki contrasts Yachie in her strategies. That being she has no strategy and just goes "fuck it, we ball" with no hesitation lmao.

I'm pretty sure you all noticed the absence of one character in particular, that being Keiki. I've made it no secret on this blog that Keiki is my favourite Touhou character, and a lot of that is because of her role as an antagonist in Touhou 17. I always found it really fascinating how ZUN created her as an allegory for AI (I don't know if Apollo just randomly blessed him with the gift of prophecy because MAN does that statement hit harder now more than ever) and the fact that she's portrayed as a very morally grey character in the game itself and Reimu's reaction to her, stating that she can see an "evil aura" in Keiki. I've already talked a lot about Keiki on this blog and I don't know what there is that I haven't said, but I wanted to start off with her because it ties into a big part of why I still find this game's story interesting. That main aspect being it's parallels to Gensokyo and Touhou's overarching them of humanity's relationship with nature.

So to step back from 17 for a second, I feel like we should look at what the Youkai represent in the story. Youkai in Touhou are created from humanity's fear, and back before science was able to properly explain anything, this fear very often manifested into a fear of nature. Natural disasters would end up wiping out villages, dangerous animals would often lurk in forests and end up killing anyone who would go in them. Overall nature isn't very kind to humanity, and humanity knows this. This is why humanity would often try and find reasons as to why these things would happen. This brings us back to the Youkai in Touhou who are the embodiment of the unexplainable. In manga like Forbidden Scrollery and Lotus Eaters, we often see how the humans in the human village are at the mercy of these Youkai, the only reason that they aren't being slaughtered is entirely for their own benefit so they don't run out of resources. The only hope the humans in the village really have is to turn to the gods, another product of man's desire to explain the unexplainable, to potentially save them. The survival of the people in the human village will always be in the hands of beings beyond their comprehension. No matter what, humanity will always be at the mercy of nature.

Coming back to Touhou 17, we can see that the relationship between the human and beast spirits isn't exactly.... pleasant. The beast spirits all see the human spirits as slaves essentially and they gain strength from their torment. The only way that the human spirits are even able to stand a chance against them is to submit themselves to a god and pray for their protection. And even then there's no way in Hell that they're getting out of this situation since the god they're praying to views them the same way as the animal spirits (whether they are aware of it or not).

So if you haven't noticed by my word choice, there are quite a lot of similarities here with the dynamics of the Animal realm and Gensokyo. That's not even mentioning the fact that in both places we have at least 3 different parties fighting over control of the humans, whether it be animal spirits or Youkai. Hell, this race for power in Gensokyo is a plot point in Lotus Eaters and Forbidden Scrollery, so it's not like this is a new concept for the series to explore either.

There's also something to be said about how Keiki and the technology she brings with her are seen as a threat to the order of the animal realm. Throughout human history, humanity's creativity and ingenuity have always been major factors in our survival as a species. We created tools to use the nature around us and make it work to our advantage, we created weapons to more efficiently hunt and find food to survive, and we created art and literature to document our histories and make sense of the world. Going back to 17, Keiki is the epitome of humanity's evolution and creativity and she is the one who responded to the human's cries for salvation. Another thing to think about is that in Gensokyo, the best the villagers are going to get in terms of technology are old computers that are very limited in their use, and even then barely anyone will have any idea how to use them. The reason that Gensokyo even exists in the first place is to preserve the Youkai and Gods that would become forgotten by humanity's technological advancement. In both of these places, technological advancement is seen as a threat to the natural order and must be suppressed at all costs.

Of course in Gensokyo it isn't as extreme as the animal realm. The Kappa, the Tengu, and even gods like Kanako are all quite technologically advanced and/or are introducing new technologies to Gensokyo (those are just the ones I could list off the top of my head, but please tell me if there are more that I forgot). But here's the interesting thing, notice how none of the examples I listed there were humans. The only way for the humans of Gensokyo to have these technologies introduced to them is if the powers that be, nature, let them have those technologies. Going back to the animal realm, even after Keiki is defeated we can see that the beast spirits are still using the technologies she (most likely) introduced, i.e. that one chapter in Lotus Eaters where one of the otter spirits introduced what is essentially a GameBoy to the Kappa and Nitori saying stuff like, "oh yeah the animal realm is actually pretty technologically advanced nowadays" as well as that one story in CoLA where Ran and Yachie deal with the AI Sumireko made. Once again, the only times when the use of technology goes unprotested in this series are when it's kept out of the hands of humans and back into the hands of nature. Even when humans are able to fight back and create their own technology, nature will always win in the end, no matter how hard humanity tries to defeat it. The way Touhou 17 ends is indicative of this, with Keiki being defeated and the Animal Realm returning to it's status quo.

However, Gensokyo has never had this kind of issue before.... or so it may seem. Yes there's never been any technological uprising by the human villagers and with the way things are there most likely never will be, but when you take away the potential for technological advancement from humans then the next best thing would be magic. And when humans in Gensokyo use magic to find a way to gain power and be more than just fodder for the Youkai, they end up being punished. This is most prevalent in Forbidden Scrollery when Reimu kills the fortune teller. I don't think I need to go too in depth about this moment since I already did so in my Forbidden Scrollery review but this once again shows a parallel between Gensokyo and the Animal Realm.

So what am I trying to say with all of this? I've been bringing up a lot of the similarities that these two places have but similarities can just be chalked up to coincidences that don't mean anything. What I've been trying to say with this whole thing is that the Animal Realm represents an extreme version of Gensokyo, one where every ugly aspect of it is dialed up to 11 and the law of the strong eating the weak rules all. It's a Gensokyo without a spell card system to level the playing field. I do want to say that I don't believe Gensokyo is a grimdark setting, sure some parts about it are bleaker than others, but there are also many good aspects of Gensokyo that I feel like I should bring up. It's a safe-haven for the forgotten, and if we continue viewing the Youkai and Gods from the lens of both of them being allegories for nature, Gensokyo is a place where nature can fluorish outside of humanity's hands. Unlike the Animal Realm, Gensokyo was never established with the intentions of harming people. Nature is both beautiful and terrifying, and where Gensokyo displays the beautiful sides of nature, the Animal Realm displays all the ugly sides of it. Even then, there is some overlap between the two, Gensokyo does have a nastier side to it and the Animal Realm is a place where nature can exist unrestrained by humanity (even if the place is still a shitshow overall). Now that I think about it, this sort of duality between the two realms is kinda fitting for Touhou, and I can't stress enough that when I say that Gensokyo and the Animal Realm have some parallels I am not trying to say Gensokyo is a grimdark dystopia. Hell even going back into the Lotus Eaters manga, the otter spirit that escaped from the Animal Realm even said that Gensokyo was a better place to live.

So yeah, I don't really have any good way to end this aside from saying happy 5 year anniversary Touhou 17. You are a flawed game but god do I still love you. Oh yeah, and if there's anything I missed or any mistakes I made, please correct me/let me know.

#touhou project #touhou 17 #wily beast and weakest creature #keiki haniyasushin #I mention Keiki the most so that's why I'm tagging her in this #text post #東方project

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