#it's because i thought this line was going one direction but no i think arias is just nuts and now im lost and

[citrine-elephant]

what is it about reading a novelization of a fictional horror/commentary on the fucked up and depraved parts of humanity...

that kinda just has me bummed out about my intelligence and reading comprehension?

"oh boy, that's sick and fucked up!"

*doesn't understand the single literary implication reference*

"oh my god i'm the stupidest person on this planet, why am i so dumb and unintelligent? i am not fit for this world, i'm too dumb to enjoy this-"

[supercantaloupe]

okay don giovanni review from last night. under the cut bc it's me. tldr the vocal performances were great, leporello carried the show, one of the most insane productions i've seen thus far but somehow in a new bizarre direction from normal. good snacks.

first of all i don't care how much wine you offer i think it's kind of ridiculous to charge $165 for a base ticket price for a performance that 1. isn't even in a concert hall or theater 2. is a concert performance rather than a staged performance (which was not advertised ahead of time) and 3. was not even a full production because they made the absolutely mind boggling decision to cut 100% of the recitative and replace it with Some Guy sitting on the stage narrating the plot between every 1-3 numbers

i did not pay that much gd bless. the student ticket was way cheaper.

the narration wasn't even good it was weirdly ungenerous to the women (like how do you even make elvira out be a "women, amirite" thing and also vaguely imply anna was into it in a production with zero acting? well they figured something out) and i don't think it even explained well enough what happens between each number to truly give a first time watcher a good idea of what's actually going on. not to mention that it absolutely kills any sense of momentum in the plot and makes the entire show drag like hell, because you have to wait between every single aria for either Some Guy to talk at you for three minutes straight, or wait awkwardly while people onstage walk off and people offstage walk on. it was so painfully clunky

they had a piano up there but since there was no recit it's not like she was accompanying much of anything. in practice what it ended up being used for was 1. the mandolin part for deh vieni (acceptable in the absence of a mandolin player; they were working with a limited chamber ensemble of musicians so i get it) 2. the party music at the end of act i (egregious fault imo because it absolutely kills the vibe of the scene and completely obfuscates the way the music is supposed to be adding to the tension and chaos with its different instrumental groups playing in different meters)

and 3. used to give singers their notes when the vocal line of their arias start on beat 1 measure 1, which they otherwise would have been able to get from the preceding recits (which is imo painfully amateurish for an ostensibly professional production)

all the numbers in act i were there although the narration was so bad i got jumpscared by fin ch'han dal vino because i forgot it was supposed to be there and thought we had skipped over that point in the plot. act ii had some really bizarre additional cuts made, notably they just entirely skipped over meta di voi and vedrai carino. it was like masetto and zerlina fuck off for the entirety of act ii save for, like, mille torbidi (they VERY briefly mentioned masetto getting beat up in the narration and i don't think they mentioned vedrai carino at all, they just skipped straight from deh vieni to sola sola. and also there was a painful awkward pause before deh vieni because i think the pianist forgot she was supposed to play there and the narrator jumped ahead to the next chunk of plot explanation too early). kept both dalla and tesoro (i'm fine with this ottavio was quite good though could've used a bit of ornamentation imo), kept mi tradi, kept non mi dir (more on that in a bit). no per queste which is probably a good thing not only for the show itself but also my head would have absolutely and irreversibly exploded if they had, probably

the whole thing kind of felt underrehearsed. like a quarter of the time it seemed like people didn't know what they were doing or had to be reminded where to be at that point in the show. and there were a few moments throughout where the orchestra struggled to keep up with the singers, but i really don't think they had much time to rehearse together, honestly.

and then, to my utter shock, the finale was actually really good?? like. insane compared to the rest of the show thus far. though it helps that 1. i absolutely love the harmonieband arrangements of cosa rara/i litiganti/non piu andrai, after possibly the draggiest non mi dir i've yet experienced it was like a breath of fresh air to hear that (and non mi dir was actually well performed i liked this anna but considering how much the Entire Show was dragging, the fact that they cut meta di voi and vedrai carino, AND the fact that they promised this act would be short, it felt crazy to me to keep it at that point.)

2. leporello and the don were by far the best performers of the night. so much so that i sought them out during the post show reception to tell them how great they were and enjoyed their performance. which i usually do not do, but in this like, high school recital ass production value. unbelievable relief that the final scene is dominated by the two actors in the show who most remembered that they can, and in fact Should, be acting. so much more movement and physicality and expression from those two compared to most everyone else. leporello especially, his actor apparently specializes in comedic bass roles and it shows, he was the standout all night

and 3. for the first time in the entire production they made an interesting decision regarding the physical space and staging! they had the commendatore sing from up on a balcony overlooking the audience in the foyer. the bar admittedly was set very low in the previous act and a half but the finale reminded me that i actually like this show again which is appreciated

though they then threw another curveball at me by Cutting the sextet at the end. which like didn't even piss me off at that point i was just baffled. like the don sinks down in agony and leporello sinks down whimpering in fear and the orchestra cuts off. and i'm expecting an awkward pause while they quietly get up and shuffle off so the rest of the cast can come back but nope. big orange title slate appears on the big screen behind them and the audience breaks into a roaring applause and the announcement of the wine and dessert reception. felt like i was in a fever dream

i will say the desserts were very nearly almost worth the bullshit that was the preceding show. they were so good. thank you austria for your dedication to pastry. and because i don't drink and couldn't appreciate the free wine offered i had to indulge in my own manner. spread contained chocolate oat bites (tasted as much like espresso powder as chocolate and coated in coconut, 4/10), almond sponge cake (classic, 7/10), cardamom apple bread pudding with caramel cream (not enough cardamom but otherwise very tasty and autumnal, 8.5/10) and honey cake (11/10. i don't know how they made this so good. i want more right now so much). i take both my mozart opera and my desserts very seriously.

anyway overall the production was. i would say frustrating. the singing quality was Really Good (leporello was the clear standout, probably followed by the don though i prefer my dons with a lighter voice but technically he was very good, then probably ottavio, then maybe masetto or anna. the commendatore was great but he's in it so little it's hard to compare)

i just wish they could have, like, actually done a full production. it would have been so great if they had gotten to tell the actual story and had been fully allowed to act. when there Was acting were the best moments of the show, and it's really unsurprising that most of that came from leporello, the absolute legend.

[loopingpyre]

So much happened in this session. Started by spamming WIRE messages to the club. Didn't realize there were so many bits of characterization there. Ayana straight up admits to being into girls lol. Aquarium layout was much nicer than the Sun Temple's. Also had a lot of pretty rooms! The fish... Another banger for the OST though not quite as hard hitting as Onboro. Reina Ueda's range is crazy. Kotono getting into a petty name calling contest with Mirei and then doubling down later was what I am here for. I love it when characters choose to suck! Her punching out the guy after saving him was great too. Mirei throwing a tantrum and everything being played a bit less seriously was a nice cooldown after the previous arc. Looks like any big reveals for Kotono are going to have to wait a bit more though. Her character story looks like its moving to the main conflict. Speaking of character eps, there were a lot, especially for Ayana and Eiji. I didn't expect Ayana to be one of the older members. No concrete age but based on her idol career + the years she stayed shut in I'm guessing late twenties to thirties. I wonder if there's anything deeper to the diving into the person's heart or if it's just for emphasis. Still, the idol backstory makes a lot of sense. I wouldn't be surprised if she hated men even without the tragedy of what happened to her friend. I'm curious to see how it will resolve. In one of the eps Aria mentions how it's possible that someone can't just heal and move on and I appreciated the game having a line for it because it shouldn't be like a Fire Emblem support where someone just fixes a problem in three conversations. Ayana sending everyone a letter was great too! I love when more of the cast gets involved beyond the mc and Aria. Also everyone supporting the potential yuri was nice. Now, it tying into Eiji's story was the real woah moment. Not that Eiji needed more suspicion thrown his way, but that kinda confirmed his kidnapping story was bs. And then he casually goes and tries to kill the guy lol. I buy that he's a lawyer (evil) but not so much the guilt being too much for him. Lots of theories as to why he's so mad so we'll see which one is his actual trauma. The other character eps weren't as dramatic. Izuru's eps were about what I expected but its early. Naruko's went in a different direction than I expected but I'm here for it as someone who has struggled with mustering up creativity. Speaking of relatable, Suzuna trying to have lunch with people was cute, though I don't think her trauma was simply isolating herself. Shogo's teased his issue with Thorn again which I don't expect to get any light on anytime soon and Kotaro's has been surprisingly slow moving too. Aria straight up hiding things from Mifue in her ep was a twist though. Aria finally being compelling... I never thought I'd see the day. Mifue being a volleyball player and her weird relationship with food makes me think she's starved herself? Or developed an eating disorder. In battle her outfit has the mask over her mouth too. Brings up some possibly disturbing implications with Kotono (her outfit only changes below the bottom half) and Eiji summoning fire. Now I feel like I should definitely be paying more attention to the designs! Looking forward to the musician hangout portion! Oh and wanted to thank mads for adding commentary to these posts too. Appreciate having a place to ramble on. Apologies for the length!

This sparks joy, yay yay!!

The wire stuff is always super fun and adds all sorts of details you might miss! You can also check WIRE and ask for a recap of where you are with the plot and youll get all sorts of little bits from the rest of the gang about it! It's such a cute mechanic!

Sadistic Queen is a very fun one! I love how the boss theme's piano is so discordinant, it reflects so well on the petulant temper tantrum of a musician.

I think the diving to the heart is just for emphasis, and a reflection on how you are moving towards something deeply personal. You had to work to get that far, sort of thing.

Ayana and Eiji are extremely good additions, I like them adding more adults to the team. I wonder which of the gang you think are underage? The original promotional material for OG Caligula via it's key art pushed Kotono as a Main Heroine, which is the most comedic choice.

Shogo is my favourite of the main gang, for what it's worth.

The Catharsis Effects are always really interesting, from both a visual design standpoint as well as the flower choices. In fact, when they did the anime adaptation and made the Male Protag into a full character, they changed his flowers to fit.

I cant think of much more to comment on right now but make no apologies for the length! Im very happy to hear this!

[haileygarciasunshine]

Luminous

Pairing: Jason DiLaurentis x Fem!Reader

Written: March 27th, 2021

Posted: March 27th, 2021

Warning: Mention of Funeral Procession, slight mention of alcohol.

Word Count: 1,284

Requested: Yes! //  Hi! I don’t know how to request things lol so I guess I’ll do it here? Anyways I want to request a jason dilaurentisx reader where the reader comforts jason after either his mom’s funeral or alison’s funeral bc we never got to see him get any comfort :(

Summary: The reader comforts Jason after his sisters funeral.

Jason DiLaurentis Masterlist

"I don't think I'm going," Hannah spoke, as she abruptly stood from Spencer's couch. Standing in front of the group, she shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.

"Come on, Han," Aria whined, letting her shoulders sag.

"We are all going." Spencer's stern voice echoed off the walls.

"You're not the boss of me, Spence." Hannah spat. "Maybe our secrets will be buried with her."

Scoffing, you rolled your eyes, as you rested your arm on the back of the couch, allowing you to rest your head against your hand. "We all know that's not true."

"How do you know?" Emily chimed in.

"Because." You shrugged, rolling your eyes. "Since when has that been the truth? Certainly not the last funeral we had for Ali." 

A silence fell upon the group.

"How many more funerals are we going to have for her? We all know how much she would love all this attention." You sighed. 

The rest of the girls nodded in agreement, as a chorus of Yeah's could be heard. 

"Let's go shopping." Hannah grinned.

Rolling your eyes, you were the first to stand up beside Hannah. It wasn't long before everyone piled into Emily's car for a short trip to Philly.

--

Sighing, you were speed walking through the sidewalks of Rosewood. You had planned on being early to the church, yet somehow stopping for coffee caused you to run late.

The sound of your phone ringing caught your attention. As you dug through your purse, you hadn't been watching where you were going. It didn't take long before you collided with a firm chest, nearly throwing you off balance. The stranger's hand gently grasped your waist keeping you balanced, as yours gripped their elbows.

"Y/N?"

Snapping your head up, you let out a surprised gasp.

"Jason?"

"What are you doing here?" You both questioned in unison.

Giggling, you glanced down only to feel heat dance along your cheeks as you noticed the lack of proximity between you. 

"I uh... I..." Your voice trailed off as you lost your train of thought.

Jason let out a sigh as he noticed your hesitation. Releasing you, he took a step back as he cleared his throat.

"We...We should go." You spoke seconds before the church bell started ringing through the town.

"Yeah." Jason nodded in agreement. 

Walking side by side, you made your way towards the church. Jason's hand landed on the small of your back ushering you up the stairs and into the church. Head's snapping in your direction as you and Jason stood idly by.

Glancing around the room, you quickly spotted your friends. "I...I should join my friends." 

Jason gazed down at you before he followed your line of sight. "Yeah... I suppose." His voice dripping with disappointment. Furrowing your eyebrows together, you brought your attention back towards him, catching a slight frown that made its way to his lips.

"Why don't you join us?" You questioned tilting your head slightly.

"I don't think they want me near them-"

Rolling your eyes you let out a huff, crossing your arms along your chest. "Come on, J. You know it's not like that."

"Then what is it like?" He questioned as he raised an eyebrow.

"Come on." You spoke.

Before you could stop yourself, you grabbed his hand leading him towards the pew that was occupied with your friends. Sliding in, you were seated next to Aria, while Jason sat on the other side of you. Glancing down the row at them, you didn't miss the questioning looks they sent your way. Rolling your eyes, you shrugged. 

"Here," Hannah spoke, handing down her flask, as each of them took a swig before passing it on. 

When it finally reached you, a wave of hesitation washed over you, before you sighed and took a swig before passing it to Jason. Once he was finished, you passed it back to Hannah, who had a smug expression etched along her features. 

As the procession went on, the closer you and Jason got to one another. Your shoulders and arms had begun resting against one another while his thigh was pressed snug against yours. When the pastor began talking about Alison, you mindlessly reached for Jason's hand interlacing your fingers, giving him a comforting squeeze.

Once the funeral was over, you exited the church with your group of friends while Jason quickly followed in toe. Neither one of you had let go of the others hand since the procession. Standing in a small circle, Spencer had begun talking about memories with Alison, as your mind had been clouded with thoughts of Jason.

"There you are, Jason!" Mrs. DiLaurentis spoke. "I've been looking everywhere for you! There's someone I want you to meet." 

Before you knew it, Jason had been whisked away by his mom and introduced to a tall blond. Frowning, you felt a ping of jealousy. Dropping your gaze to your shoes, you felt your heart sink into your stomach. 

"Hey," Aria spoke, gently nudging your shoulder with hers. "Don't worry-"

Sighing you frowned. "It...It doesn't matter." You shrugged. "I...I um, I have to go."

Not bothering to meet the questioning gazes of your friends, you turned on your heel as you felt hot tears forming in your eyes.

--

"Mom? Dad?" You called as you toed off your shoes. Getting no response, you began checking the house for any sign of them. Reaching the kitchen, you saw a note with the scribble of your mom letting you know they wouldn't be home.

Sighing, you made your way to your room. Picking some comfortable clothes, you walked into the bathroom taking a shower. Once you were finished you made your way to the living room as you made something for dinner.

--

Jolting awake, you quickly sat up before realizing the sound of someone knocking on the door was what woke you up. Groaning, you made your way towards the door as you rubbed your eyes.

"Jason?" You questioned as you furrowed your eyebrows together in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

Making his way inside, he glided to the couch before sitting down.

Frowning slightly, you closed the door before joining him. 

Clearing your throat, you felt as if the air had become thick. "What...What are you doing here?"

"I...I don't know." Jason spoke his gaze not breaking from the TV.

An awkward silence fell between you. Sighing, you made yourself comfortable beside him.

"I...I miss her." Jason's voice cracked as he confessed his feelings.

Furrowing your eyebrows together, you were overwhelmed with sadness for the man beside you. 

"I know." You whispered, wrapping your arms around his shoulders gently tugging him into you. Jason quickly wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you into a laying position in his lap. Nuzzling our neck, you felt his shoulders begin to shake. Rocking you both, you alternated between cooing in his ear and whispering sweet nothings. Lacing your hand in his hair, you began scratching his head, soothing the both of you into a slumber.

The bright morning sun streamed into the room. Groaning, you rolled onto your side while opening your eyes. Much to your surprise, you were tucked into your bed without Jason insight.

Sighing, you made your way downstairs only to be greeted with a luminescent flower arrangement. Grinning, you found the card that was hidden by a few flowers. 

Thank you for being my safe place. -Jason

Butterflies erupted in your stomach as you leaned over to smell the sweet floral aroma. The sound of your phone being, catching your attention. Grinning, you had expected a text message from Jason. In a matter of seconds, your giddy mood had been destroyed.

You're mine now. Kisses. -A

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[junicai]

ridin’ n rollin’.

| order no. | 8/21

| summary | When the world is already off kilter, should you not free fall down to meet it? 

| word count | 2.4k

| warnings | injuries

| era | circa. April 2020

Aria stumbled into the changing rooms, fist shoved into her mouth to stop the broken cry from jumping out on the wave of tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. Her free hand was pulling at the mic pack, desperately trying to unwind it from where it was tucked in on the waistband of her trousers. 

A pair of hands joined her, unravelling the wires quickly and efficiently. Once the mic pack was removed, it was handed off to someone else - Aria wasn’t sure who - and she was being spun around to face a concerned Renjun.

“What happened?” He demanded, already searching the rest of her body for injuries. 

Aria didn’t know. 

The day had started off on the wrong foot; like god himself had woken up on the wrong side of the bed. 

Donghyuck had stumbled into the bathroom at six in the morning, and his retching woke up Jisung who was sleeping next door. The maknae had sleepily shuffled into the bathroom to see what was wrong, but when he was greeted with a shivering Donghyuck clutching to the toilet bowl like a lifeline, the tall boy snapped awake. 

Aria had been woken up, and then Jeno, and Renjun and Jaemin woke up soon afterwards from all the noise caused by the commotion. 

It took them two hours, but by eight, Donghyuck was curled miserably into the corner of the couch, pale cheeks contrasted by a bright red flush sitting high on his cheekbones. A waste bin was placed on the floor in front of him, and two fever reducers were all but force-fed to the boy.

At first, Donghyuck had adamantly refused to take them; saying that he wasn’t sick, he had just eaten something that hadn’t agreed with him and he was fine now, see? 

Aria all but scoffed at that. She held it in, because she knew she’d be doing the exact same thing, would she be in his position. The broadcast performance was scheduled to be filmed that evening, and no one liked stepping down. Not even for a day. 

It was only when Aria had fixed him with a pleading look, eyes wide and worried, that Donghyuck caved. The two pills were swallowed, and when he was once again comfortably swaddled in as many blankets as they could salvage from around the dorm did the members return to their own morning routine. 

After all; the world doesn’t stop turning for a sick member, although sometimes Aria wished it did. She hated to leave Donghyuck alone; and she knew he’d never admit it to them, but he hated it to. 

All of them did, really. It was visible in the way that Jeno had put the back of his hand up to Donghyuck’s forehead three times in the last ten minutes; in the way Jisung was hovering anxiously, waiting for an instruction to go get a glass of water or another pillow; the way that Renjun had only rolled his eyes a tiny bit when Donghyuck insisted he was well enough to perform but stumbled backwards onto the couch when he attempted to stand up. Jaemin had lunged for his arm, catching the sick boy before he could do himself some more damage. 

The van had pulled up outside the dorms several hours later; and Donghyuck had waved them a sullen goodbye from his position on the couch. Aria closed the door behind her, but not before reminding him again to take another fever reducer in an hour, and to keep himself hydrated.

Donghyuck had rolled his eyes, and told her to stop worrying. “You’ll turn yourself grey, mom.” 

Aria had narrowed her eyes and stuck out her tongue, swinging the door shut. She relished in the bright burst of laughter that echoed through the hall. 

The journey to the venue was quiet. 

As was the changing room - the only noise coming softly from Chenle’s earbuds that he’d put in the second they’d located their room, and the soft bustling of the stylists as they moved around the members. 

Aria was tensed in her chair, anxiety running up and down her spine at the thought of something happening to Donghyuck while they were gone.

What if his fever spiked again? 

What if he fell and didn’t have the strength to get up? 

What if-

“Noona.” Jisung’s voice dragged Aria out from her own head. His larger hand encircled her smaller one, gently but firmly unravelling the fingers that were digging her nails into her palm. 

She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “Thanks, Sung.” She whispered, patting his hand lightly. 

Jisung made no move to leave, and instead took up the vacant spot beside her on the plastic-covered sofa in the corner of the room. “You’re worried.” He stated. 

Aria turned to look at him. Jisung had lost a lot of the baby fat from his cheeks that year - accentuating his jawline. He looked older, more mature. It suited him, she decided. Maturity was something he wore like it belonged on him; settling like the sun sets comfortably without fail. 

“We all are.” Aria sighed out eventually, taking a glance around the room. Jaemin was laid back in the chair as a stylist worked on fluffing up his hair, keyboard clicking obnoxiously as he typed on his phone. 

Normally the sound would bother Jeno - who was sitting adjacent, in a similar position - was it not for his phone making identical clicks. 

Aria couldn’t blame them; she’d turned her phone off silent the second they’d left the dorms in case Donghyuck called one of them. 

If the boy knew how frazzled the group was without him there, he’d have a fit. He’d never let them live it down. 

“It’s hyung, noona. He’ll be fine.” Jisung said, nodding resolutely. 

“He will, Sung. He’ll be fine, and then we can all go back to complaining about his presence.” Renjun made his presence known as he entered the room, directing his attention towards the pair immediately. 

“Ari, they’re looking for you for mic check.” He said, jerking his head over his shoulder. 

“Right, okay. Thanks, Injunnie.”

The following thirty minutes passed in a smushed blur of costume fittings, foundation brushes and an uncomfortably suffocating amount of hairspray. Aria was coughing by the time the stylist let up, waving a hand to try and disperse the smell. 

“Ari? We gotta go.” Jeno called, already halfway out the door. 

“C-coming,” She choked out, eyes watering slightly but determined not to wipe at them, less she end up with a streak of black across her cheek. 

By the time Aria had met up with the others in the wings, sliding her in-ears in, her breathing had steadied, and a little knot was beginning to form in the bottom of her stomach. She still got nervous before performing - didn’t think it ever really went away completely - but those were normally excited nerves.

This pit that was slowly growing felt foreboding. 

It went ignored, sliding under the radar as her in-ears began the steady metronome click that she’d become so accustomed to. She zoned out, and zoned back in, body moving in time with the others in flawless unity. 

Dancing without a member always felt off - felt empty, but it was nothing the group hadn’t dealt with previously. They knew the formations, knew who took what lines to fill in, and where their positions changed to keep formations looking slick and clean and not like one of them had been knocked over like a bowling pin; out for the count. 

Aria stepped backwards to let Chenle take her place as centre. Her mind was busy, tracking Jaemin’s positioning and making sure she stayed far enough away to give him space; so when a heavy, piercing sound ran through her right ear, she hardly registered it. 

It took her a moment, but her gasp of pain was heard over the microphones, a both hands coming to clap over her ear as the in-ear continued to bleed head-scrambling sounds into her brain. Aria tilted sideways, knees crumbling beneath her as she lost her balance and went crashing to the floor. 

She didn’t hear the gasp that floated up around the room; skimming right over her head that was pounding like a sledgehammer. Her hands scratched at the floor, trying for purchase and finding none.

Jeno, behind her was already half-dancing his way closer to her, and trying to help her back up without completely abandoning the song entirely. Aria’s breath was coming fast; the tech team having enough sense to cut her mic for the time being. 

When a half bar of silence sounded instead of Aria’s vocals, Chenle stepped in, ever the professional, singing her lines for her as the girl tried to regain her balance. 

Despite Jeno’s insistent push towards the wings, Aria shook her head minutely at the boy, rejoining the second last chorus. She could feel the boys’ eyes on her, burning into her back.

The in-ears bounced around her neck on their chords, having unconsciously tugged them out from her ears. 

Per the formation, there was to be a metre and a half gap in between each member, but Jaemin paid no mind to that, coming to stand almost directly beside her in the final few bars of the song; completely prepared to catch her should she take another stumble.

Aria was the first off the stage, stumbling over her own legs.

She stumbled into the changing rooms, fist shoved into her mouth to stop the broken cry from jumping out on the wave of tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.

Her vision swam like she was sea-sick.

With her free hand pulling at the mic pack, desperately trying to unwind it from where it was tucked in on the waistband of the orange trousers, her breath was coming in heavy, shallow gasps.

A pair of hands joined her, unravelling the wires quickly and efficiently. Once the mic pack was removed, it was handed off to someone else - Aria wasn’t sure who - and she was being spun around to face a concerned Renjun.

“What happened?” He demanded, already searching the rest of her body for injuries.

“I don’t- I can’t- ringing-” Aria gasped, hands coming to clutch at Renjun’s jacket. “My ear, it’s- it’s ringing, I can’t-” 

“Ari, I need you to breath, hold on a second, okay?” Renjun asked, shooting a look at Jaemin, who went to gently pull off Aria’s sweat-soaked jacket. 

She sunk to the ground, knees giving out for a second time. Renjun followed her, Jeno’s arms slipping beneath her armpits to stop her hitting the ground too hard. 

The only sound in the room was Aria’s uneven breathing, coming in irregular pants and choking her. 

The members settled around her, but being mindful to stay a comfortable distance away. Should Aria slip too far into her own mind, too many hands could send her flying into another panic.

“I can’t hear.” Aria whispered eventually, hands still maintaining their tight grip on Renjun’s jacket. He inhaled sharply, turning to face her dead on. 

“What? What do you mean you can’t hear?” He questioned, his own hands moving to gently grip the sides of her face. 

“Ringing,” Was the only explanation that Aria offered, canting sideways in his grip. 

Renjun choked lightly, trying to hold her upright. “No no, Ari, you gotta stay sitting like this, okay? What happened?” 

Chenle and Jeno exchanged a glance. 

“Did she hit her head?” Chenle asked.

Jeno instantly shook his head. “No, I saw her fall. She was clutching at,” he pointed. “Her right ear though.” 

Renjun looked back to him, before returning his focus to Aria. “Hey, Ari? Ari, your ear is ringing, right? Am I right?” 

Aria nodded slowly. 

“Okay, that’s okay. Was the feed too loud, or something?” 

This time, Aria shook her head, lifting a hand to mime an explosion by the ear. “Was like it exploded.” 

Jisung looked frantic. “Did her earpiece blow up?!” 

Jaemin emerged from the doorway, a mic pack clutched in his hand and a dark look on his face. “Feedback.” He grit out. “Mic pack malfunctioned, sent nearly 120 decibels into her right ear.” 

Jaemin held up the offending piece of equipment. “It even fried the voice coils.” 

Renjun was trying to keep Aria from slipping sideways. “What does that mean?” 

“It means, Ari just got blasted with the sound of a fire cracker right in her eardrum. It’ll be ringing for a while.” Jaemin moved to crouch behind Aria, taking some of the weight from him. 

“Permanently?” Jisung asked.

“They don’t know, but probably not. It’s mostly the shock of it, that causes ringing, I think.” 

Jeno swiped a hand over Aria’s forehead, swooping the hair back from her face. She whimpered at the act, nosing her way closer to the hand. Leaning down to her left ear, Jeno lowered his voice to let him whisper gently. 

“Hey, baby,” He began, keeping his voice level. “You’re gonna be okay, alright?” 

Renjun’s arms tightened around Aria’s middle, and it wasn’t long until Jisung and Chenle moved forwards to do the same. 

“The in-ear got a little loud, that’s all,” Jeno continued, hand coming to gently flick at her right ear. “No explosions - your ear is still there. Do you want to try standing up with me?”

At Aria’s mild agreement, Jeno shifted into a crouch and the multiple pairs of arms around her waist loosened minutely.

“You’ll be a bit off balance, baby, but that’s fine. That’s normal, and you’re okay. If you feel like you’re going to fall, then I can carry you, okay?” 

“So, what I’m hearing is, we’re never using in-ears again?” Donghyuck whisper-yelled from his position on the couch; Aria tucked into his chest. 

His fever had broken while they had gone, and their manager suspected it was just a twenty four hour bug.

Aria shifted slightly, whining at the noise, and Donghyuck instantly began crooning at her, whispering soft words of comfort in her left ear to get her to go back to sleep. 

Renjun rolled his eyes. “Jaemin considered it.” 

“Hyung looked like he wanted to murder someone.” 

"I still do."

[lochtayboatsong]

The Jesus Christ Superstar essay absolutely no one asked for.

Last weekend, I watched the pro-shot of the 2012 arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar starring Ben Forster, Tim Minchin, and Melanie C, because it was Easter and it was up on YT for the weekend.  I never managed to do my annual listen-through of Leonard Bernstein’s Mass this year, as is my usual Easter tradition, so I figured “Why not watch/listen to this instead?”  It was my first time seeing and hearing JCS in full, and Y’ALL, it has been living rent-free in my brain ever since.  I have a mighty need to get my thoughts out, so here they are, in chronological order by song.  

1) Prologue: I love the way JCS 2012 makes use of the arena video screen.  The production design and concept clearly took a lot of inspiration from the “Occupy ______” movement, which makes it feel a bit dated now.  But every single production of JCS is a product of its time period, so this is a feature and not a bug.  

2) Heaven On Their Minds: This is a straight-up rock song.  It wouldn’t be out of place on any rock and roll album released between 1970 and 2021, and it boggles my mind that Webber and Rice were both in their early twenties when they wrote it.  Also, the lyric “You’ve begun to matter more than the things you say” hits hard no matter the year.

3) What’s the Buzz: A+ use of the arena screens again, this time bringing in social media to set the tone.  Also, this song establishes right from the outset that Jesus is burnt out and T I R E D by this point in the story.  Seriously, can we just let this man have a nap?

4) Strange Thing Mystifying: Judas publicly calls out Mary and Jesus claps back.  Folx, get you a partner who will defend your honor the way Jesus defends MM in this scene.  Also Jesus loses his shoes and is mostly barefoot for the remainder of the show.

5) Everything’s Alright: Okay, this is one of the songs I have A LOT to say about.  First, it’s important to know that I was a church musician throughout all of my adolescence and into my early adulthood.  The pianist at the services I usually played at was a top-notch jazz pianist, and also my piano teacher for about six years while I as in high school and undergrad.  (Incidentally, I had a HUGE crush on his son, who was/is a jazz saxophonist and clarinetist and also played in the church band, but that’s a story for another day.)  One of the hymns we played a few times a year was called “Sing of the Lord’s Goodness,” which is notable for being in 5/4 time.  Whenever this hymn was on the schedule, it was usually the recessional, or the last song played as the clergy processed out and the congregation got ready to leave, so we were able to have some fun with it.  After a couple verses the piano player and his son would usually morph it into “Take Five,” a famous jazz standard by Dave Brubeck which is also in 5/4 time.  Anyway, the first time I listened to this song in full, it got to Judas’s line “People who are hungry, people who are starving,” and I sat bolt upright and went “HOLY SHIT THIS IS ‘SING OF THE LORD’S GOODNESS/TAKE FIVE.’”  And I was ricocheted back in time to being fourteen and trying to keep up with this father/son duo in a cavernous Catholic church while simultaneously making heart-eyes at the son.  Final note: This is the only song in the musical to feature all three leads (Jesus, Judas, and Mary Magdalene) and is mostly Jesus and MM being soft with each other in between bouts of Jesus and Judas snarling at one another.

6) This Jesus Must Die: I LOVE that all the villains in this production are in tailored suits.  LOVE IT.  Also, Caiaphas and Annas are a comedy duo akin to “the thin guy and the fat guy,” except in this case it’s “the low basso profundo and the high tenor.”  Excellent use of the arena video screen again, this time as CCTV.

7) Hosanna: My background as a church musician strikes back again.  It honestly took me two or three listens to catch it, but then I had another moment of sitting bolt upright and going “HOLY SHIT THIS IS A PSALM.”  Psalms sung in church usually take the form of call-and-response, with a cantor singing the verses and the congregation joining in for the chorus.  If I close my eyes during this song, I have no trouble imagining Jesus as a church cantor singing the verses and then bringing the congregation in for the “Ho-sanna, Hey-sanna” chorus. 

8) Simon Zealotes: This is part “Gloria In Excelsis” and part over-the-top Gospel song.  Honestly it’s not my favorite, but it marks an important mood change in the show.  The end of “Hosanna” is probably Jesus at his happiest in the entire show, and then Simon comes in and sours the mood by trying to tip the triumphant moment into a violent one.  Jesus is not truly happy again from this moment on.

9) Poor Jerusalem: Also not my fave.  It kinda reads like Webber and Rice realized that Jesus didn’t have a solo aria in Act I, so they came up with this.  But it has the distinction of containing the lyric, “To conquer death you only have to die,” which is the biggest overarching theme of the story.

10) Pilate’s Dream: Pontius Pilate might be the most underrated role in this entire show, and I love that this production has him singing this song while being dressed in judge’s robes.  

11) The Temple: The first half of this is one of the campiest numbers in Act I, at least in this production, and it’s awesome.  The second half is one of the saddest, as Jesus tries to heal the sick but finds there are too many of them.  Also the whole scene is almost entirely in 7/8 time, which I think is just cool.

12) I Don’t Know How To Love Him: Mary Magdalene’s big aria, and one of the songs I knew prior to seeing the full-length show.  This production has MM taking off her heavy lipstick and eye makeup onstage, mid-song, which is kind of cool.  Melanie C says in a BTS interview that MM’s makeup is her armor, so this is a Big Symbolic Moment.

13) Damned For All Time: The scene transition into this song is played entirely in pantomime, and I love it.  The solo guitarist gets to be onstage for a bit, A+ use of the video screen again to show Judas on CCTV, etc.  Love it.  And then this song is Judas frantically rationalizing what he’s doing, and what he’s about to do, with Caiphas and Annas just reacting with raised eyebrows and knowing looks.

14) Blood Money: This is where the tone of the show really takes a turn for the dark.  I think this might be one of Tim Minchin’s finest moments as Judas, because his facial expressions and microexpressions throughout this scene speak absolute volumes.  And the offstage chorus quietly singing “Well done Judas” as he picks up the money is a positively chilling way to end Act I.

15) The Last Supper: Act II begins with major “Drink With Me” vibes.  (Except JCS came WAY before Les Miz, so it’s probably more accurate to say that “Drink With Me” has major “The Last Supper” vibes.)  Jesus and Judas have their knock-down, drag-out fight, and it’s honestly heartbreaking, thanks again to Tim Minchin’s facial expressions.  A well-done production of JCS will really convey that Jesus and Judas were once closer than brothers, even though their relationship is at breaking point when Act I begins.

16) Gethsemane: This is Jesus’s major showpiece and one of my faves.  Jesus knows he has less than 24 hours to live, he knows he’s going to suffer, and worst of all, he doesn’t know whether it’s going to be worth it.  It’s an emotional rollercoaster to watch and to perform, and it goes on for ages: something like 6 or 7 minutes.  Fun fact: the famous G5 is not written in the score.  Ian Gillan, who played Jesus on the original concept album, just sang it that way, so most subsequent Jesuses have also done it that way.  Lindsay Ellis has a great supercut of this on YT.  John Legend notably sang the line as written during the 2018 concert.  

17) The Arrest: Judas’s Betrayer’s Kiss is played differently across different productions.  The 2012 version is pretty tame - I’ve seen clips and gifs of other productions, including the 2000 direct-to-video version, where they kiss fully on the mouth and have to be dragged apart by the guards and it is THE MOST TENDER THING.  Then the 7/8 riff from “The Temple” comes back and the 2012 version lets the video screen do its thing again as Jesus is swarmed by reporters.

18) Peter’s Denial: Not much to say about this one, as it’s basically a scene transition.  But it’s a significant moment in the Passion story, so I’m glad they included it.

19) Pilate and Christ: The 2012 production continues with the theme of Caiaphas, Annas, and Pilate all being bougie af, since Pilate intentionally looks like he just came from tennis practice during this scene.  Also he does pilates...hehehe.

20) King Herod’s Song: Tim Minchin says in a BTS interview that JCS works best when Jesus and Judas are played seriously and the rest of the production is allowed to be completely camp and wild and bizarre all around them, and he is bloody well CORRECT about that.  Case in point: King Herod.  There is not a single production of JCS that I know of where Herod is played “straight.”  He’s been played by everyone from Alice Cooper to Jack Black, and everyone puts a different zany spin on him.  In JCS 2012 he’s a chat show host in a red crushed velvet suit, who is clearly having the time of his LIFE. 

21) Could We Start Again Please: This is another of my faves.  Just a quiet moment where MM, Peter, and the disciples try to grapple with the fact that Jesus is arrested and things are going very, very badly.  This is also my favorite Melanie C moment of the 2012 show.  Her grief is very real, and the little moment she has with Peter at the end is very real.

22) Death of Judas: This is basically Tim Minchin screaming for about five minutes, and incredibly harrowing to watch on first viewing.  

23) Trial Before Pilate: Possibly my single favorite scene in the entire 2012 production.  This is another harrowing watch, but there’s so much to take in.  The “set” that the entire show takes place on is essentially just a massive staircase, and the people with power are almost always positioned above the people without power.  In this scene, the crowd shouting “Crucify Him!” is positioned above Pilate, which is a very telling clue to Pilate’s psychology during this scene.  Jesus is at the very bottom of the stairs, of course.  Excellent use of the video screen once again during the 39 Lashes, to show the lash marks building and building until the entire screen is a wash of red.  Pilate’s counting also gets more and more frantic, especially starting around “20.”  And all the while the guitar riff from “Heaven On Their Minds” is playing.  Jesus’s line “Everything is fixed and you can’t change it” is played quite differently in different productions - here it’s defiant, but elsewhere (in JCS 2000 for example) it’s almost tender, like Jesus is absolving Pilate for his part in the trial.  But it always ends the same - with Pilate almost screaming as he passes the sentence and “washes his hands” of the whole sorry business. 

24) Superstar: The most over-the-top number in the show.  Judas, who died two scenes ago, comes back to sing this.  There are soul singers.  There are girls in skimpy angel costumes.  The parkour guys from the prologue are back.  Judas pulls a tambourine out of hammerspace midway through the song.  And Jesus is silently screaming and crying as he gets hoisted onto a lighting beam while all this is going on.

25) The Crucifixion: More of a spoken-word piece than a song, it’s Jesus’s final words on the cross over eerie piano music, and another harrowing watch.

26) John 19:41: An instrumental piece in which Jesus is taken from the cross and carried, at last, to the top of the stairs, before being lowered out of sight as the video screen turns into a memorial wall and everything fades to black.

So.  I know I’m anywhere from three to fifty-one years late to this particular party, but I am on the JCS bandwagon now and I’m thoroughly enjoying myself.  :)

[skipppppy]

When you have the time, I’d love to hear more about the descent into villainy/what happens with Aria and the Alliance post-canon.

HHHHH I WANT TO AS WELL AVSMSBSMHS

I think I finally have a somewhat cohesive story for what happens Post-Canon,, it could change in the future?? But I like this direction the most so I may go with it idk

This was like. Several weeks in the making due to me procrastinating but uhh,,, enjoy?? I’m putting it under the cut because this is LONG,, like,, so long that I actually split it up into sections with titles and stuff. If you have the attention span to read through all this shit then. God bless your soul

THE PEACE

Aria’s descent into villainy didn’t occur immediately after Horde Prime died, but rather as a slow burn that happened internally due to her neglecting her own feelings of grief and anger. She bottled up her devastation over losing her husband in favour of caring for the Clones; There were thousands of them, all of them in horrible emotional distress, and she was next in line to take care of them so she just kinda...swallowed her feelings and retreated back into the quiet, nurturing persona she’d kept up back in the Fright Zone. She threw herself into their rehabilitation, renovating the Velvet Glove into a new home for them, and teaching them about being independent people with their own thoughts and feelings. For obvious reasons she REALLY didn’t want to be a part of the Princess Alliance, but she knew that it would be safer to stay on their good side. She knew they didn’t really respect that Prime had given her the Velvet Glove and all of his property in death, so offering her resources was the best way of assuring that they wouldn’t attempt to take it all by force. It was also a gesture of good will on her part, so the Princesses would know that the intergalactic armada she’d recently inherited would not be used violently against them. Essentially they struck up an agreement saying “The Clones will provide manual labour and rebuild Etheria, and in return you’ll leave us alone and let us become a functioning society without your interference.”

So Aria did just that; she kept the peace, helped whenever they asked, and did a majority of repairing what Hordak and Horde Prime destroyed. During this time she managed to employ a couple non-Alliance members, namely Double Trouble, Kyle, Lonnie, and Rogellio- and quite a few other ex-Horde soldiers and force captains who didn’t have anywhere else to go. Together they were able to form a somewhat competent society so she could actually guide the clones on fixing the destruction their old leader caused. She was fine with this at first, since her husband caused most of the damage, it was only fair that she cleaned it up, and it seemed a just and appropriate punishment for her complacency. Unbeknownst to anyone, she had actually began repairs on the Velvet Glove’s engine so they would eventually be able to leave the planet and return to space, but it was a long process and took several years to fix completely. That way if the denizens of Etheria decided that it was too painful to make peace with the Clones who had previously enslaved them, they would be able to leave and keep both sides happy. She was willing to hold herself accountable for her transgressions, but the problems started when she realised that the Alliance...didn’t.

There’s no such thing as a “good war,” nor is there ever a war where one side is wholly good or evil; The Rebellion kinda ghosted their duties after the war was over. As we know the BFS peaced out and went on a road trip in space to recover the magic the First Ones sealed away, Hordak was sent to Beast Island for “community service” (and presumably Entrapta went with him) and all the other Princesses returned to their own kingdoms to re-establish their place on the throne. While she worked to rebuild the villages destroyed by the Horde and house their displaced residents, they threw extravagant balls in their palaces and turned a blind eye to their suffering. It never really sat well with her that every meeting about issues in their kingdoms turned into sleepovers and banquets and late night parties. But what made her angriest was their refusal to acknowledge what they’d done to her. Any time she brought it up she’d cause uncomfortable silences and be chastised for making things “awkward.” They apologised to her, yes, but it was abundantly clear that they only did so because the guilt was an inconvenience to their perfect happily ever after and they wanted to move on rather than actually acknowledging her grievances with them.

By the time Adora and co. returned to Etheria and Hordak had finished his punishment, she was masking a DEEP depression; the combined loss of her husband, lifetime of neglect and abuse, and dismissal from the people who hurt her had turned into an apathetic, hollow-eyed mess whose instability was slowly starting to turn outward. Her inner council of Clones had started to notice and expressed their concern, but by that point she was convinced that no one cared about her feelings and expressing herself would be a total waste of time. At this time the Velvet Glove had actually finished being repaired and several of them had urged her to finally ditch the Alliance and escape Etheria for good, but she was hesitant, since she had several other Etherians on board who weren’t as eager to leave their home, and she genuinely had no idea where they would go to seek refuge. She gradually became more unhinged as time went on; she wasn’t sleeping, she wasn’t eating, and her feelings of worthlessness had devolved into paranoid delusions that the Alliance was conspiring against her and they all secretly enjoyed making her suffer. Basically, her anger had been stewing for too long, and it was about to come to a boiling point.

THE PART WHERE SHE TURNS EVIL

It wasn’t something big that caused her to flip her lid, but rather a “straw that broke the camels back” situation. For the most part the Alliance was apathetic towards her grief over losing Horde Prime (considering he had tried to kill them all), so they didn’t really respect her wishes or personal boundaries regarding issues that involved him. She broke after a particular incident; after months of insisting from her Clone advisors, she finally decided to allow herself some vulnerability and planned to spend the 5 year anniversary of Prime’s death taking time to rest and genuinely mourn her husband. A few weeks before the date, however, the Alliance announced that they would be throwing a huge party in celebration of his defeat on the same day- and her attendance was not only expected, but mandatory. She begged and pleaded with them to let her rest but her cries fell upon deaf ears. They basically said “Horde Prime was evil and you have no reason to be sad he’s gone so you have to come” and completely disregarded her the ONE time she asked for anything from them.

So she snapped.

She went FULL evil-empress-with-a-heart-of-ice. She was done being kind. She lost her shit and did not care to find it again. By allowing herself to feel real, volatile rage, her magic became stronger than it had ever been in her entire lifetime. She had joined the alliance to be civil and keep the peace; but they had broken their promise to not interfere with her personal business, so she no longer saw any need to fulfill her end of the bargain. Her plan of attack was concise but DEVASTATING. Using her magic she conjured up an entire fleet of shooting stars; balls of healing light turned searing hot and strong enough to level a skyscraper- and she turned each of them towards one of the Princesses palaces. Brightmoon, Salineas, Dryl, and all the other kingdoms would be destroyed on impact. The clones were following her orders but weren’t exactly on her side, since by then they’d gained a greater sense of independence and didn’t want to see her hurt anyone.

The alliance was completely taken aback by her betrayal; she’d been so good at repressing her emotions that they genuinely didn’t expect her react the way she did and they all had a collective “oh shit, we fucked up” moment. Thankfully the incoming meteor shower would take at least a day to actually make contact with the planet, so it became a “race against the clock to talk her out of finishing what Horde Prime had started” situation. The people who hurt Aria most severely, like Catra, Glimmer, and Entrapta confronted her and tried to reconcile, but she’d had enough of it. They didn’t care enough to genuinely apologise before and now they were only coming to her because their lives were in danger, so to her it just seemed like grovelling. She called ALL of them out on their bullshit, refused to stop and only sunk deeper into her downward spiral. Several of the Clones tried to convince her to stop, and while it was obvious that deep down she was hurting and didn’t actually want to hurt anyone, the principle of the matter forced her to keep going. No one would hold the Alliance accountable for what they did to her, so she was serving out justice on her own terms.

In the end it wasn’t one of the Princesses who defeated her or convinced her to stop, but rather John, her royal advisor and closest confidant. He witnessed her descent into villainy on a far more intimate level than anyone else had, and being next in line as Prime’s vessel meant he personally understood the grief she felt. While he struggled a lot with his social skills, it was actually his bluntness that broke down her walls and got through to her. He found her at the very top of the Velvet Glove, watching the shooting stars fall from the branches in the canopy, and told her that he knew this wouldn’t make her happy. He basically said “these people don’t care about you, they don’t care that they hurt you, no amount of violence will convince them otherwise because your grievances are just an inconvenience to them, and taking revenge on them is pointless because ultimately they don’t even care enough to know why you’re attacking them in the first place and they’ll just see you as the bad guy no matter your intent. It isn’t fair, it’s cruel and it’s wrong, but they don’t care, and you can’t force people to care. So you can either sit here and voluntarily stew in your own rage and misery, or you can cut them from your life and express those feelings in a healthy environment with people who do care and who will listen and give you the help you need.”

After having that revelation, Aria completely fell apart. The meteor shower dispersed just as it entered the atmosphere, showering Etheria with stardust and leaving no one hurt. Her anger burnt out and she was left with nothing but the consuming sadness she’d tried so hard to repress. John took her to Horde Prime’s private quarters; a spaceship floating deep in the void of space, only accessible by teleportation pad, that acted as the Emperor’s personal lodgings in the rare occasion he needed to take time off. Aria had been there with Prime while he was alive and shared their most intimate moments on it, so not only was it safe and out of the way, it was the perfect space for her to finally mourn the loss of her husband. She broke down openly, crying for what she’d lost and getting some long overdue emotional catharsis. Because there was no real damage done and it was obvious that her actions were a cry for help rather than a genuine attempt at causing harm, the Alliance decided not to punish her too severely for her actions, and instead asked the Clones to give her the proper help she needed. They were a little angry at her for trying to kill them, so as an official reprimand she was forced to step down as Empress and have John take over in her place, which they had already planned on doing in the aftermath so it worked out for everyone.

THE AFTERMATH

After a lot of discussion between Aria, John, and their inner council, they decided that the best course of action would be to finally reactivate the Velvet Glove and leave Etheria for good. There were a couple months between that decision and their departure, mainly so all the other Etherians living on the flagship could have time to decide whether or not they wanted to stay on their home planet or go with them. Some decided to stay, like Double Trouble and a fair amount of Clones, but Imp, the Horde Trio, and a lot of ex-force captains decided to stick with them and head out into space. With Aria essentially hospitalised and on indefinite leave, John stepped up and helped finalise the process while maintaining civil relations with the Alliance. She was recovering slowly, and her council took turns in staying over for a few days to keep her company. But whenever he would come to visit, he would always feel guilty that she was never really able to get closure over anything that happened with her. Her entire spiral was caused by a lack of accountability from the Princesses, and having to sit through their meetings as they continued to act like everything was fine made his blood boil. But soon enough an opportunity to act reared its head. And he took it.

He didn’t get “revenge” so much as he gave a “gentle nudge in the general direction of concequences and letting them all fall apart all by themselves.” After being in the Alliance for a while he quickly realised the same thing Aria did; while the Princesses were good and well intent, they were also a bunch of rich kids who cared more about the magic of friendship and fun sleepovers more than they cared about the genuine wellbeing of their kingdoms. However, John was not willing to tolerate their negligence. He IMMEDIATELY withdrew from the Alliance, a move that caused a lot of confusion among the denizens of Etheria. Being a smug, organised smart ass with a special internet in stationary, he saw this as the perfect opportunity to expose them. He published a statement explaining why he withdrew, providing evidence of not only their poor leadership, but also a fully documented history of their treatment of Aria. It caused a HUGE controversy; finding out that the “heroes of Etheria” sold out an innocent civilian to the Horde, never returned for her, and caused her to almost destroy the planet in a psychotic break made a lot of people turn against the Alliance, or at least view them a lot more critically.

They never really got to see the result of that shitstorm (I imagine that the Alliance was either strongly reprimanded by the common people of Etheria or forced to dissolve entirely; the Princesses still hung out and stuff, they just had to do it informally), as after publishing that statement, John decided it was officially time to leave the planet. The Velvet Glove left Etheria, and headed off into space, unsure of where to go. They just kinda drifted from place to place for about a year, focusing more on their internal society and helping Aria with her recovery. Taking time to reflect not only on the loss of her husband but also all of the other trauma she endured seriously helped her mental health improve. Horde Prime had always comforted her when she was upset, and it helped because she was at a point in her life where she desperately needed that comfort, but in the long term it probably wouldn’t have done much. She knew that a hug and a kiss wouldn’t solve all her problems, she needed to actually unpack her emotional baggage, sort through it and figure out what she needed to be done to make it lighter.

FINDING ANILLIS KUR

Her recovery wasn’t linear, of course, she was still seriously bereaved over Prime’s death and there were several days where she would’ve done anything just to see his face again. One of these specific days, she was wandering round the ship (that was laid out more like a house than an actual aircraft), and found a hidden passage behind the boiler. It led to a separate basement floor, containing an entire laboratory. Unbeknownst to any of them, the reason Horde Prime had chosen that specific ship as his private quarters was because it was the ship he had used to flee his planet’s invasion 10000 years ago. The lab where he first began cloning himself, before he had even considered conquering the universe, was still intact, albeit COVERED in dust. And at the very end of it, in a gigantic test tube, was his original body, floating unconsciously in a vat of amniotic fluid. Naturally she FREAKED OUT and called for help (some of her Clone friends were elsewhere on the ship), and while they came running to her she managed to break the glass and free him. He was about as panicked at the situation as everyone else was, and had absolutely no idea what was going on. After a few days of him adjusting to not being trapped in a giant test tube, he was able to recollect his memories and explained what happened.

Basically the man in the test tube was Anillis Kur, aka Horde Prime before he turned evil. He had started cloning himself after the First Ones destroyed his planet and wiped out his people, and had planned on using that technology to repopulate their species. At some point he wanted to experiment with transferring his mind over to another one of his clones, but it went horribly wrong and ended up splitting his conscience in two. Each of them had a respective boost in cognitive function to their left and right brains; one of them was given heightened intelligence and analytical thinking, and the other was left with a deepened sense of empathy and emotional expression. Their opposing brain functions were weakened, so while the new vessel was smarter, it struggled with interpersonal relationships, and th original body now dealt with it vice versa. Eventually the former decided the latter was too weak to be considered their leader, so he threw him in the test tube and went on to use his technology for power and conquest, eventually becoming the Horde Prime that was feared throughout the universe.

After learning that his vessel had almost wiped out all life in the universe, Anillis was understandably DEVASTATED. It took a bit of time for him to grapple with the idea that his mistake caused the death of billions of lives; but thanks to Aria he eventually came to accept that it was an accident, and he couldn’t hold himself responsible for the actions of a vessel that went rogue. The two of them had a strong connection from the moment they met; because she held the magic of the meteorite in her soul he became fiercely attached to her, and because he had Horde Prime’s original body and memories, Aria realised that he was essentially a less evil version of her husband. She took to him instantly, not only did she enjoy caring for him, it distracted her from her grief and actually granted her the first sense of happiness she’d felt in YEARS. He also held a very similar nurturing type of attitude, so he reciprocated her smothering tenfold. They had so much in common; a mutual love of cooking, and they both had a fondness for good music and sappy romance novels. It did not take long in the slightest for them to decide that they were soulmates and fall head over heels in love with each other.

RETURNING HOME

While Aria had become quite content living in domestic bliss with her new partner on his ship, there was still the problem of finding a new home for the Velvet Glove and the several hundred thousand Clones inhabiting it. It was Anillis who had the idea to travel to the remains of their ancestral home and see if they could return it to its former glory. The meteorite itself had a connection to the planet, so there was a high chance that Aria returning with its magic would bring some life back to it. It was a long journey that spanned over several months, but they eventually found it hidden in the most secret corner of the universe. Most amazingly their hunch was right; as Aria lit up her healing magic, cracks in the earth began to fill and life began to sprout from the ground. On this planet the meteorite had essentially been one GIGANTIC rune stone, and with the magic returned, the planet began repairing itself. They began rebuilding what the First Ones destroyed, creating villages in the rubble of their old cities, repairing what was sacred and making homes for everyone.

It was a long, difficult process, building entire settlements from scratch, but after years of work they had finally done what Aria initially set out to do: they transformed the Clones from an army of traumatised cult members into an independent society where they were free to exist and love as they pleased. Anillis had finally gotten what he’d wanted; his home was alive again, a little different 10000 years later, but alive nonetheless. John invited Aria to return to her position as Empress, but she decided that her post was no longer necessary, and instead needed one of their own to lead them. She had never wanted to be a ruler, but John was naturally gifted at the job and enjoyed the responsibility, so he was crowned their new leader. Several of the Clones eventually left the cities so they could make new homes on other parts of the planet, and revive more of their lost heritage. Aria and Anillis found a nice spot on the middle of a lush forest, built a cottage there and decided to spend the rest of their days there. The two of them bided their time tending to their vegetable garden, going on picnics, and eventually having children. She finally had the life she’d dreamed of; caring friends and family, a home surrounded by nature, and a love who was honest and true that she could share her life with.

So yeah!! Aria gets her happy ending eventually!! It takes her like 8 years but she gets there!!! In the end!!! Good god this took so long to write and it was such a long answer to such an innocuous ask it literally feels like this image

[fatedtime]

hello i wrote this at 2am in a feral haze. the premise: confessing to Servants who would be Difficult About It until their master starts breaking down in the Lostbelts. 

I'd like to do more but for now here's Bedivere and the Phantom of the Opera.

Bedivere

Oh, he breathes, and his face reddens from the effort of restraining tears because he is so, so very unworthy.

He knows it is neither dream nor trick, because the air is too sweet for a nightmare and you are far too sincere for those sorts of childish pranks. He cannot fathom what must have possessed you to say something like that to him - I love you, Bedivere in a voice that drowns in honey - and he plays dumb because Bedivere is such a very well-practiced liar.

How wretched that he wants you, he numbly thinks as you stutter and stammer before him. How horrible it is that he is such a greedy man.

(As if he is worth even kissing his Master's feet. He is a steward. A servant. A knight. How dare he let such desires bloom within him? How dare he feel as such for his lord?)

It is art, the way he avoids your confession. It's such a fine line to balance - he must not refuse you, because to do so would break your heart, but he must not accept you, for to do so would invoke upon you only shame. He hides in the shadows of plausible deniability, of being the dense, airheaded, gentle and pure Bedivere whose humbleness blinds him to the feelings of others.

He feels no pride when he brushes the topic away with an offer of tea and chocolates and ever more servitude, and you let the subject drop.

When had it happened, he wonders? What had he done? Bedivere is not an audacious enough man to think that he had seduced you, but he knew what a burden you held on your shoulders, and he knew that sometimes feelings of reliance and gratitude could be mistaken for... other things, feelings with a similar palatable sweetness.

That had to be it, he was certain. A mistaken, misallocation of emotion. Because if not, because if otherwise -- 

(His most important and sacred duty was keeping you safe and how could he do that if he shattered you to pieces? And of course he would, how could a man like him not end up doing so, it was his failure that had turned the King of Knights into the Lion King, his selfishness, and if you let him into your heart like that he knew he would do the same to you, he knew it he knew it and that could not be he would never let it be.)

These boundaries were necessary. He was supposed to protect you, among all other things. If you loved him, he could not protect you with everything he had, because the wounds sustained during that protection would wound you as well. 

...He may not even be able to give up what was necessary, at the end, just like with the king he never wished to die, because the idea of a future with you would be too tantalizing to ignore.

And that is why he would lie to you, and suffocate this wretched flower blooming in his heart. Thorns pierced him as he smiled and bowed his head before you. You had lead him to a victory he had sought for over a thousand years, and in his cowardice, he would wield his sword for you forevermore.

***

You were breaking down, and he was watching it happen.

He wondered if this meant that he had learned from his prior failures with King Arthur, that he had even noticed it, or if you simply were too honest of a person to conceal your grief. Neither thought comforted him.

He did what he could to ease your burdens as you tore reality after reality between your fingers, condemning them while fighting for your own version of history. For all of his flaws, he was an astoundingly loyal man, and his trust in you never wavered once.

But still, he kept his distance. Though those words you'd said that day haunted him daily (and sometimes, nightly as well) he always asked himself this: what use was that sort of love under the weight of all your sorrows? You had far more important matters on your mind than pining after a ridiculous fool like him, he was sure and he told himself that his rejection had meant nothing.

Changed nothing.

Even though there were ever so many things he wanted to do, so many moments when he had to practice such restraint. He did not take your hand when the two of you walked side by side, even though - unoccupied - your nails drew blood from your palms. When you stood in the snow-fields of the Kingdom of Beasts, he waited behind you, watching as the wind stung your cheeks and never broaching that gap. How would a hug from him then change anything?

Would it have kept the warmth in you from slipping away?

One day, you looked up at the sky, and began to muse about the relationship between gods and men.

That back then, it had felt so easy to be defiantly human, but more and more you wondered about the righteousness of your cause. Did it even matter? Did this suffering, this agony even matter, or was it something that you long ago should have thrown away? You felt so far removed from other people now, so distant, and you wondered if this is what gods were like - deciding who would live and who would die.

"What separates me from the Lion King?" You cried, slamming your fist against the wall with your teeth bared into a pained snarl. "Preserving my desired humanity at the detriment of everything else in the world? Perhaps, back then, I was nothing but a hypocritical fool."

It was at that moment that Bedivere snapped.

Everything you were saying - he rejected it down to his very core. You were nothing like the Lion King, you could never be anything like the Lion King because you were so wonderfully, beautifully, terribly infuriatingly human and the things you fought for were flawed, broken, illogical, and human just the same. He wanted to scream at you that because you worried about these things proved you were nothing about that imperial woman, that your feelings mattered simply because they existed - that even if feeling was shitty it was also right - but he found that things got a little twisted when it came from the 'putting thoughts out of the mouth' department and, instead, got a little more direct.

More specifically, his mouth on yours.

When his brain finally caught up to his body, he had his teeth on your neck and his hands in some very unknightly places. He would have shoved himself away, apologized, gotten on his knees and begged that you behead him for his impropriety, but the parched soil of your spirit greedily drank in any affection he had to offer and, at this point, you could hardly let him go.

The partitions of distance had worn you away, left you chilled and frozen, and so fervently did you seek touch, warmth, honesty, especially from your trusted ally and the foolish man you happened to love. After tasting it, there was no turning back for you, and quite honestly, none for him either. Barriers had been torn, and in his arms, you cried for how vehemently you felt human once more.

Your mutual search for 'something perfect that will cause no pain' was a doomed one from the start, and wiping frozen tears away, he murmured, "Once more, I fear that I have kept you waiting."

Still, at the end, he faced his own cowardice, and it was enough to hold together a fractured heart for just a little longer.

Oh, there is joy, yes. There is such impossible warm joy, a radiant magma spilling through the ugly, malformed rot of his insides. It's the sort of rabid delight that drives a man to madness, and he sings to choke it down, sings of your beauty and your purity and your praises to the sun and moon and stars alike. It is how he disguises the disgusting urge within him to take you into the dark so he may envelope himself utterly in your light.

Phantom of the Opera

I'd say that you're going to destroy this entire man's career, but the truth of it is this: you are this man's entire career, and that is why the melodious lilt of those words devastates him so utterly.

...It’s not that he mistakes you for her -- Christine, that is, the songstress that he did such terrible things in his desire to claim. He knows you are the Master of Chaldea, and that the entirety of human history is the stage for your song of salvation. The power of your voice - your existence, and your ability to enforce your will upon the world - shall transcend time and space to stand against the Incineration of Humanity. 

It’s more accurate to say that you are his Christine, the thing that defines his existence, because what would the Phantom of the Opera be without a Christine to love?

Oh, he knows his love is a terrible thing. Oh, he knows he is ugly because of it, and so wretchedly he wishes that he could be unrepentant like Kiyohime, could be unabashed like Serenity, could be fanatical in his desires like Minamoto no Raiko. But he knows what will happen if he does that, doesn’t he? He knows what will happen at the climax of this performance if he does not stretch the first and second acts into eternity.

You confess to him, this man that wishes he was truly a monster and not a monster of a man, and he wants to weep from the agony of it, of how much he wants to TAKE.

But he cannot do that. This is why he sings. For if the performance is still ongoing, he can stave off its terrible end, for he does not want to do harm to you, his light, his love, his foolish, glorious master. In the wake of your confession, he takes your hands with hands not meant for it, balancing your fingers on those delicate blades, and responds to it with an aria of how much he adores you in turn.

He may not be able to accept your love, because to do so would lead to him drowning you in the depths of his monstrosity, but the Phantom of the Opera will pour his soul into ensuring that you know that he loves you, he loves you, always and forever it is you, it is you, it is you --

(Even if that mental corruption twists it, and all he can say is Christine, Christine, Christine -- )

And so, he keeps the mask of monstrosity on. This is the part he has been summoned to play.

***

The distance torments him, the dance destroys him, and he recreates the illusions of his existence in a thousand new phantoms as he simply tries to survive as ‘another performance’ in your glory.

He loves you but will not be with you, this man who must admire you from afar. He has his role and you have yours, and the two of you are not lovers, even though the love you each bear for each other is aching in its desperation. Distance defines him, like the negative space in a photograph, and he cannot broach that barrier without the ruination of everything he so rigidly clings to.

This is how things are until the Lostbelts.

What is the difference between singing and screaming, he wonders, as he watches you condemning another world to its fate? What separates those distinctly raw vocalizations of agony? Because it still sounds like music to him, your wretched sobs as he watches you cry, and he can already see the ending to this tragedy, so crisp and clear like a stanza written in blood.

“Why do I have to be so human?” You had asked him, fingers tightening in his cloak. “It seems all I am destined for is the folly of human mistakes.”

It almost breaks him again, when you grab hold of him and nearly beg him to take you away, because he must be wrong, he has to be wrong, for you are not angelic or glorious or a light that will rise boldly forth to protect the world. If he still wants a thing as wretched as you, then he should lock you up so you can incinerate no more worlds underneath the force of your conviction.

“It might even make you a hero,” you breathe into his neck and - no, it does not almost break him, it does break him, but not in a way he ever could have hoped to expect.

The Phantom of the Opera knows that to keep you would be one of the greatest joys he could ever know. He would find some way to do it, and in that prison, he is certain he could return you to a state of glory untainted by the monstrous guilt weighing on your own heart.

But that is the one thing that he must not do.

Taking his mask off, he removes with it his false monstrosity. He is human as he kisses you. He is a human who kisses you to know and be known, to love and be loved, and in the tide of his want, he will let you drown all of your sorrows within him.

You are not Christine, because Christine does not actually exist. But because you are lovely and righteous and kind, he will give his everything to you, for you are the thing he shall love till the end of every world and then his own.

“Know me now, both in body and in soul,” he asks of you in turn, for if the actor who plays the Phantom of the Opera wants any other sort of role, this is the price he must pay. He can no longer maintain his perfect devotion, that perfect idealized love held at an appropriate length, because only a human - a human born with the gift of possibility - could ever change his role as he wishes to do, change his story and with it, your own.

“I will recast myself in a role that can be by your side,” he whispers into the darkness, and he closes the curtain around you with a blanket that blocks out the light. "For you, I shall be a pillar in your grief."

{Your saga will not end in tragedy; this, to you, he swears.}

[highly-flammable]

Reacting to Legacies 3x03 (SPOILERS):

1. So ARE we FINALLY getting to some proper firstborn Mikaelson witch breakdowns?

2. Oh well, apparently no. They'll just try to wave it off as some one time thing probably.

3. So Hope and Landon are on a break. Okay. TBH watching them sass each other is interesting.

4. The guidance counselor is pretty much a compulsion monster, is that it? Well, I do like his wardrobe.

5. Alyssa's concern for MG is so fake I can't.

6. Nobody other than Jed read for Stefan? THE DISRESPECT.

7. Lizzie playing Caroline makes total sense but them asking Josie to play the lead without even an audition looks a bit bad TBH. Like, give the other interested people a chance, at least.

8. I find it a bit repetitive how there are mind-controlling monsters popping out again and again.

9. So MG is basically going through a phase similar to what Cami was going through when Klaus used to compel her at the beginning of TO. Considering Quincy's fondness for Cami, he must have liked playing that.

10. I understand that Landon is supposed to be a capable songwriter in-universe but it takes more than that to write and direct a musical and it's very weird that they didn't even find a guest star to pose as a Drama or English teacher who is guiding him or something. WHERE ARE ALL THE TEACHERS?

11. I kinda feel like some of the lead characters in this show are colour-coded. I see Hope and Landon in red and blue a lot (the two gowns we have seen Hope wearing also fall into this pattern) and Josie wears yellow in like, every other episode. If I recall correctly, Lizzie wears a lot of white, too. I wonder what the reasoning behind these choices are.

12. Well, I liked Hope and Landon's relationship in S1, I have no idea what was going on with it in S2, and I still don't know what to think about it.

13. Lizzie casts herself in Caroline's role and then chokes at rehearsal. Not totally unrealistic but still feels a bit forced to me. Would have been better if Landon cast her because she's Caroline's daughter and Lizzie was a bit apprehensive in the first place because she didn't want to mess up the role.

14. I appreciate the show taking a moment to talk about Lizzie's bipolar disorder though. It's been a while.

15. "Bonnie just disappears for long periods of time"? Dude, she's still super important and you're putting her in the play. Right? RIGHT?!

16. Landon, THANK YOU for pointing out how weird Caroline and Alaric's relationship was. The guy deadass got engaged to her and had a pissing contest over her with Stefan, that will never not gross me out.

17. So the monster is mind controlling Landon to put Klaus into the play. Saw this coming IG.

18. Hope is painting again, like her dad used to do when he felt things were going out of control. I've been rewatching TO and this is making me so emotional. I MISS KLAUS AND HIS SHENANIGANS. And not a single character on Legacies comes close to Klaus, Elijah and Hayley for me. (Sorry if this hurts anyone's feelings but Legacies really is a downgrade from TVD and TO)

19. Ugh, why would he use the contents of the letter as lyrics? Dude, is it because you're mind-controlled? No, I don't like this. Klaus loved Hope to the ends of the earth and wanted everyone to know but Hope wants to keep things private, and her wishes should have been respected.

20. So apparently Landon tries not to put Klaus' villainous antics into the show. Well, okay, it's definitely a copout but since he is Hope's boyfriend, makes sense. But I don't understand why the musical HAS TO BE about the Salvatore school. The accreditation excuse is lazy, writers! Also, Landon, my dude, Klaus was a major donor of the school. Put that in instead of the other things, stop pissing off your girlfriend FFS. Even if you're mind-controlled 🤦🏻‍♀️

21. I do find it funny how Landon is all gaga over Klaus' use of language though. The guy really did have the best lines, didn't he? (Tied with Elijah, I suppose, for me)

22. The other singers of the first song are really good so Kaylee sounds a bit rusty in comparison. Also, she reminds me too much of Dark!Josie with the hair and makeup. From a distance, she can be mistaken for Nina though.

23. I love that the backstage activities are being shown.

24. I'm digging Jed as Stefan and I really like his singing voice. And the Hero Hair wig cracked me up. Kaleb is obviously good at singing at it's nice to hear more from him. I also like how Chris Lee didn't try to exactly emulate Ian and played Damon how someone who has only heard about him might play him.

25. Is Hope painting herself before the pit or something? Or is this supposed to symbolize her despair at her parents' loss? ALSO, I WANT SOMEONE TO MENTION HAYLEY :( Why is Hayley so ignored?!

26. The same person probably wrote MG's notes and Caroline's letter IRL and therefore, in-universe, MG has Caroline's handwriting and it's funny to me.

27. Jenny sings well, I like it. I don't understand the song though, was Caroline actually ever feeling this insecure? I feel like the song became a lot more about Lizzie than her mother. (It's been forever since I watched TVD, if anyone has yet to guess, I prefer watching TO)

28. The doppelganger thing cracked me up.

29. Wait why did the monster attack Josie?! Ohhhh he's forcing Landon to improvise and put Klaus' song at the end. Well, I guess it makes it seem a bit less like Landon's fault. But would Hope know that?

30. It's hilarious how they lowkey make a call back to Nina leaving TVD and them having to put Elena in a sleep spell though.

31. Landon having a hissy fit is funny to me. Aria needs more comedic scenes.

32. Wait, where did Jade come from? Has she been in the school all these weeks?

33. While the scene seems a bit shabby to me, Klaus talking to Hope reminds me of their scene from TO 4X03. I needed more of Summer Fontana and Joseph Morgan together. Also, the donation did get mentioned, YASSSS. Man did some horrific things but he did fund the school so maybe a little less badmouthing in the presence of his daughter now that you know the story, eh, students?

34. The fact that the guidance counselor actually wore a leather jacket and a henley is cracking me up. It's really bizarre.

35. "Terrible painter" XD Klaus would have eaten you for saying that if he were alive.

36. Um, Hope, wouldn't you ask your family if you are doing enough to make your father proud, instead of this random bloke who supposedly met him once?! Maybe call Freya or Rebekah.

37. Why is this monster being nice to Hope? Doesn't it try to break people up or something? You'd think he'd try to piss her off even more and ruin her relationship with Landon.

38. Stefan was trying to be more like Damon by sacrificing himself? Um, what?

39. Well, this musical at least gave Stefan and Caroline a goodbye scene. I wonder how much the twins remember Stefan, must have been a bit emotional for Lizzie to play that. Jenny's singing was gooood, really liked it.

40. JED WAS GONNA KISS LIZZIE AND I WANTED IT TO HAPPEN. But a forehead kiss does work.

41. Hope's playing Elena now? What?

42. Ngl I want Hope and Jed to be friends. She needs more of a connection to her wolf side. Both of her parents wanted her to be surrounded by wolves and she's barely interacting with the wolves in this show, which always makes me sad.

43. So this monster can also do little spells and move physical objects eh? Whatever, this is random.

44. And this monster brings people back together? Why?

45. So when Hope is singing, is she doing it as Elena or Hope? She came on stage as Elena, but I thought the song is about Hope. So WHAT IS IT?

46. Oh Damon's on stage, so Hope is singing as Elena and it's a call back to the graveyard scene from the TVD finale.

47. Danielle sings pretty well. It's good she decided to perform this time.

48. Okay, that lifting up scene was adorable. I feel like Hope and Landon are at their cutest when they're a bit spontaneous. But she's Elena on stage and it lowkey looks like Landon crashed her romantic scene with Damon to kiss her so I'm cackling.

49. How much older is Jade supposed to be than Josie?

50. So is Josie going to leave the school for a while and that's why Ethan will be back in the picture?

51. Jade used to babysit Josie? Okay, it is hella awkward.

52. Josie why, don't do this, yikes. Kissing her once doesn't make it non-creepy.

53. The Sheriff feels kinda shoehorned to me. Also, I don't care for Matt Davis or his character.

54. So Candice did the voiceover for Caroline's letter. That's nice for the show. I still don't understand why the letter showed up in Hope's fireplace though LOL.

55. This episode should have spent more time exploring the aftermath of the loss of Rafael. The abrupt shift from the last episode wasn't nice.

56. Yeah, kids, talk out your problems, thanks.

57. I feel like Klaus is too much of a controversial figure that Hope's conflict about her father's reputation would be resolved in one day. This is feeling undercooked. Speaking of, when is one of Klaus' or Hayley's enemies coming after Hope, because she did inherit all of them. Would make for better storytelling than this monster of the week nonsense. And yeah, still no mention of Hayley, I hate this.

58. The monster's characterization was really odd to me and I am so tired of this format SMH.

59. So they toyed with MG for weeks to get a vampire for the spell? That sounds like too much effort. There are tons of vampires from Klaus and Rebekah's bloodline, they couldn't find another? Also, I wonder who is the wolf that they will use.

Well, I felt like this episode was mostly okay, but not that well-cooked or epic or whatever. What is horrific is that they didn't show Bonnie, though. They could have at least gotten a female black guest character who is one of the witch students or something. This is very offensive.

Also, I don't think it makes sense for the show to do any more musicals in the future. This ain't Riverdale.

[christineeej94]

Him❤

a/n: hello my loves. I’m writing this from work, on my night shift. I’m such a baddie (I’m joking, don’t take me serious.). So, here it is, the next request.Thank you for your support.❤ Stay safe and great. Kisses🌻

The request:

Anonymous said:

Can you write an Aron Piper imagine where his gf (the reader) is ex-girlfriend of Lorenzo Zurzolo (he plays Niccolo on Baby on Netflix) and they bump into each other while they’re at Milan Fashion Week & Aron’s jealous and protective side comes out which she finds hot asf, with some smut please :) Your writing is amazing I love your blog

warnings:smut or sexual content (+18), bad language and bad writing

word count: 2.115

Arón Piper x Reader

♠♠♠♠♠

I put my hands around his torso and I move my fingers on his hard body with slow moves. He moans and that’s turning me on. Our view is Milan Dome and the sun is rising beautifully. I can see some people walking in the morning on the empty streets with a coffee in their hands and very busy with their thoughts. Arón skin is feeling hot under my touch, his muscles are hard and the gold light is hitting our bodies. “Milan is beautiful.” I can hear Arón voice and I don’t know if I’m dreaming or not. Being here with him is a unique moment, visiting my hometown and, also, being here for Fashion Week. Me and Arón met a year ago while I was in a vacation in Marbella. It was a group vacation, I was with my group of friends which also came with other friends.

Flashback

It’s lunch time and we are taking it at a nice restaurant on the beach. The warm breeze is touching my naked skin and my short dress is flowing from the wind. My best friend, Mina, drags me to follow her through the tables until we stopped in front of a giant table of 24 seats. We were late because I wanted to buy a special swimsuit and I didn’t stop till I found it. “Here, it’s an empty seat next to Arón and another one next to Momo.” Miguel said and Mina jumped next to Momo, I know she has a crush on him. I walk and I sit next to the beautiful boy who’s gazing me since we arrived. “Hi” I feel his hot breath next to my ear and electric lines pass my body. I think my face is red right now. I look around and everyone is talking with someone, no one remark my red face. “Hi.” I really like him and I know him from a long time because I going every week on Élite set to visit Mina. I moved in Spain 5 months ago because I received a better job at an agency in Madrid. My parents agreed but my ex-boyfriend is so pissed on me. He thought that I will be forever with him and we will live in Italy. I take the decision but I wasn’t moved when I found he cheated on me. It was a horrible feeling, after so many years together, he done this thing.

“What are you thinking at?” Arón pinched my arm and I turn around to see everybody looking at me and the waiter waiting for my order. “Sorry, I lost my mind for a minute. Caprese salad and water with lime.” I smiled and the waiter rolled his eyes. “So rude.” I comment and Arón laughs. “Yeah, he is rude. He waited for you.” I smiled innocent and I fix big hand with my eyes. “Answer my question. What is bothering you?” “It’s a good time, we shouldn’t talk about this right now. But we can talk about how beautiful is Spain.” “I think we should talk how gorgeous are you.” He puts his on my leg and I got goosebumps instantly. I blushed and he smiled. He couldn’t say anything cause our food came. But he didn’t take his hand off my leg.

After the lunch it’s time for party and we got back at the house we rented. I went in my room and I put one my new bikini and I went down stairs. I sit next to Arón on the lounge chair by the pool and I started to apply some shimmer oil on my body. The curly boy looks like he is sleeping and I he is wearing sunglasses to protect his eyes from the bright sun. I get up and I test the water from the pool with my tip toes. “Watch out!” I heard a yell behind me and I want to turn around but my body collapsed and something heavy is throwing me and him in the water. I swim to the top and some strong arms caught me and sealed me in a tight hug. “I thought you were sleeping.” He smiled and that cute dimple is everything to melt my heart. “I was observing you. You look delicious.” I want to say something to him too but he seals my mouth with his wet lips. I can taste a cigarette flavor and some mint gum. My hands play with his wet curls and hands are holding my ass. We stopped after a while, breathing heavily and looking in each other eyes. “That was intense.” I said and he smirks. “You didn’t see anything yet. Let’s get out of here.” Arón kissed me again.

End of flashback

We stepped out of the water I know that my life is going to change. I feel his warm lips on my cold skin and I adore the feeling. He goes down on my back with a lot of kisses and he stopped when his mouth met my short pj pants. “Bend on the bed.” He ordered and I nodded excited. He gave me a kiss before I execute his command and his hands are taking off my pants. I feel his hot breath on my private aria. I thought at what he is going to do and I moaned. “Easy, pussycat, you are too excited. Do you want me there?” “Yes baby, I want you all.” I replied mumbling. When he licked my clit, I scream surprised and I couldn’t stop my moans. I tighten in my hands the sheets. “¡Joder!” I cursed and I feel his smile on my sensitive aria. “I love when you try to speak in Spanish, but I adore when you cursed in Spanish.” He giggles and he turn me on the bed, now we can look in each other eyes. “Stop laughing and fuck me.” I command and he stopped. “Uh, baby, you are killing me. My bossy wifey.” Arón giggled and he pushed his hard erection in me. I gasped and I slammed my head on pillows. He is teasing my nipples with his fingers and he is pushing harder and harder inside me. My interior is tightening around him and that make him moan and groan.

From the moment when we start our relationship, he told me that every morning is better if it starts with a good morning sex. I can say it´s one of the best mornings I had in the last 4 days. We were so stressed about this trip. One reason is because Arón is going to meet my family and second one is because we are going to appear in our first catwalk together. My agency asked me before the fashion week if we want to make an appearance at Balenciaga catwalk, they are launching a new collection for couples and they offered Arón a post. He is kinda nervous but I got this. “Baby, you are thinking too much again.” He comes closer to me and we seal our naked bodies. Arón smells like a fresh morning on the beach. His shower gel is very fresh and I can smell his strong parfum. “I’m always thinking too much. How are you feeling for tonight?” “I little bit nervous but I know that you will be next to me. I love you.” He rubs his nose on my shoulder and I love this feeling. “I love you too, amore.” I place a kiss on his cheeks and now I’m thinking at him. He is a different person beside the person which everybody sees on the internet.

“I’m going to make some breakfast, what do you want?” I asked while I’m putting his t-shirt on my body. He is gazing me and I blushed. Arón smirks and I rolled my eyes. “Give me a break.” I said joking and he acts hurt, putting a hand on his chest like I hurt him. “We don’t need food, I have you, you have me. That’s all what we need. No one counts right now.” He smiled and I came closer to give him a kiss. “Pancakes then.” I said and I laugh. “You are like the Ice Queen.” He mumbled and take out a cigarette, putting between his lips. I love to watch him smoking, it’s so hot.

 We arriving at the event and we do some photos before going inside. I can see a lot of celebrities and we go to the backstage to get ready. Makeup artists, designers and a lot of people spin around as and we went on separate ways to get dressed. After 2 hours we met in the waiting room, me and him are entering in 3 minutes. “We are looking good as fuck.” I said happy and my eyes are dressing up my boyfriend. He is looking too sexy to be real. Arón winked to me and we take our hands together, walking on podium and smiling to the cameras and the crowd. We posed and going back in the backstage. “Amazing, amazing.” The people in backstage applauded everybody and we get ready for the after party.

We got as a gift our outfits and Arón hold an interview before the after party. At the party a lot of people came to us, changing some words and go. Arón went to the bar to bring some drinks for us and I stayed alone at the table. The chair next to me moved and I look at the person who wants to sit on it. Lorenzo look deeply into my eyes and I look at him surprised.

“(Y/N), I was so surprised when I saw you on the runway with Piper.” He spoke and I look in other direction. I can’t believe he is here now. My heart beat so fast and my cheeks got so red. I’m nervous but not because I’m glad to see him. Yeah, I loved him so much, but right now I don’t know what to feel about him. “We are together.” I respond simple and I look after my boyfriend. I don’t know how he will react. “So, how’s your life in Spain? Don’t you miss the pasta or me?” I look at him surprised and I wanted to respond something ugly, like a bad word, like Arón used to say to me “You are a bon-bon, don’t use bad words.”. “We have everything we need in Spain. She had a lot of pasta and a lot of great sex with me and wonderful time with me.” Arón said from behind and I froze. Fuck. Lorenzo looked at him smirking, then his perfect smile disappears. Arón is a very intimidating person when he is serious and, right now, he is serious, a little bit furious and jealous. His hands are holding tight the glasses and his eyes are black. Arón and Lorenzo know each other from a campaign and now I can see that’s why my ex couldn’t support my actual boyfriend. They are very different and you can see this. “Like you can fuck her after your gay experience.” Lorenzo attacks and Arón face is red from fury. “I don’t cheat on her like you did. Now move your ass.” His voice is strong and I feel his jealousy. He is sexier than before. His hair is messier and his black gaze is taking off my clothes. I get up and I slammed my lips on Arón lips, letting Lorenzo watching our show. “Let’s get out of here.” I whisper and he grins. “Bye Lorenzo.” I said quickly and don’t remember when I got in a bathroom.

Arón unlock the door and I’m raising my skirt. I supported my hands on the sink and I looked in the mirror to meet Arón horny gaze. “You are a straight line to death to me, princesa.” I bite my lip excited and I said on a lower voice. “I like you jealous, horny, serious. I like you in every way.” He penetrated me furiously and he grab my hair, pulling hard my head on the back. His moves make me cum quickly but he continues to fuck me. My walls tight around his dick and I feel him big and hard, pumping and making me moan every time. I know he want to rip of Lorenzo head and I know this is the best way to calm his blood. “I want you forever.” I said and he grins, pushing harder and harder. “I know it’s not a proper time, but I want you too.” He pulls harder my hair and whisper into my ear. “I wanted you more than everything.”  

[vampiresuns]

Fine Arts and Equally Fine People

1,845 words. In which Cadenza and Dante decide to have a little competition to woo Amparo Cassano, but Dante’s attention is taken away by someone else. Anatole flexes his language abilities for someone, and Milenko runs after a certain Countess.

Cadenza and Dante belong to @arcanecadenza​.

Dante and Cadenza looked at the poster announcing the play they came to see in Vesuvia’s Community Theatre. A painted poster depicting a scene with the characters of the Operetta, announcing “La Cassano'' as the main character above the name of the play. 

“That’s her,” Dante said, Cadenza still silently looking at the poster, her eyes tracing the lines of Amparo’s smile.

“It is. Let’s get in.”

The siblings got inside, showing the tickets they had already purchased, in the standing Yard. Cadenza would’ve preferred to be sitting in one of the galleries, but they had been told by the cast of the play (and Amparo herself) that many of the acts and intermissions were interactive, so a Yard position might be more fun, if they desired to experience the play in full. Besides, the play had already been going for some time, so it wouldn’t be as packed as it was during the first weeks of it. 

“Did you bring her anything?” Dante asked as they handed their coats in the coat check. “I wasn’t really sure of what the exact Vesuvian custom is, and then I thought everyone must bring her flowers, then I didn’t know who to ask and books were not very illustrative on the matter—”

“So?”

“So I brought her a self-refilling pen. Actors need to mark scripts all the time, don’t they?”

Cadenza hummed as she gave a coin to an usher in exchange for a program for the play. “I brought her tea. Asra said she always asked him to brew her some tea when she was over?”

Dante gave her a betrayed look. 

“What? He’s a friend of hers.”

“That’s cheating.”

“I would’ve brought her tea anyway.” 

“That’s still cheating.”

Cadenza decided to focus on the program, which explained the basic argument of the play, had a list of the dramatis personae and the name of whom they were played by, as well as other tidbits here and there. It was useful to take her away from her nerves. Cadenza didn’t exactly know what she was doing, even if she was confident enough in herself. It felt almost like a date without being a date (and with her brother there), not to mention gift-giving had never been her forte. She had been too busy to compose something for Amparo, but she had wanted to. Maybe she would be able to later. 

She hoped she was. She had been beautiful and so sure of herself in her flowing dress; her lips were defined and always curving up slightly, her hands soft as they had brushed with Cadenza’s, telling her how she wished she could make it to the play, not just for herself but for the play’s sake. 

“But I do hope I’m reason enough,” she had added, clearly flirting. Cadenza had told her she would be better company than her brother in a streak of competitiveness, making Amparo laugh. 

Cadenza found herself playing with the corners of the program, dog earring them; she frowned at it and offered it to her brother. 

Her brother didn’t respond. 

“Dante? Dante. Dante.” She rolled her eyes, leaning her shoulder against her brother’s. 

“Uh? Oh, I wasn’t looking.”

A blush began to bloom on Dante’s cheeks, Cadenza giving him a funny look as he began fidgeting, throwing one last glance in the general direction he had been looking, before taking the program out of Cadenza’s hands. Cadenza followed the direction of her brother’s gaze and finally saw him, recognition dawning on her. He was as blond as ever, animatedly talking to a man with dark, bronze brown curls, dressed in black. 

She couldn’t help but to give a curious look to her brother. “I didn’t know you knew Anatole.”

“You know him too?”

“Dante, I’m pretty sure half of Vesuvia knows who he is, but yes, we have tea together sometimes. Well, I have tea, I’ve only ever seen him drink coffee. He’s a friend.” She paused, in the background the orchestra still played. “Where do you know him from?” 

“The palace library,” the program was now completely forgotten in Dante’s hands. “I run into him from time to time, but we never visit the same sections. We talk sometimes, he’s, hm, very charming.”

The play began not very long after, the siblings dropping the subject altogether, even if Dante still seemed to steal looks towards the box Anatole was sitting in. The play was everything it promised to be and more: Amparo had been right, standing on the yard was never tedious, tiring. Something was always happening that took your attention away from standing on your feet — an actor would run through, someone would begin in an Aria in the middle of the crowd, leaving you to wonder when they got there. 

Amparo herself was stunning. Her voice was clear and melodic, capable of softness and drama; when she danced, the stage moved with her, the lights dancing to her lead. She transformed on stage, and Cadenza felt herself be transformed with it.

The crowd clapped, the siblings joining the ovation, and eventually the theatre began being evacuated. The siblings did as Amparo had told them too: they went backstage, announcing themselves. One of the lyricists of the Opera volunteered to go let Amparo know, and as soon as she cleared them, the lyricist came back to guide them through the hecticness which was the backstage of Vesuvia’s community theatre, asking them their opinion on the play. 

“We don’t really have private changing rooms but this is La Cassano, she’s too delightful not to let her get away with a little of this. Not that I need to tell you two, hm?” She said, cheeky. 

Amparo emerged from beyond a curtain. “Zinovia, don’t torment my guests! Only I can do that.” As a hello she winked to the siblings, holding the curtain open for them to come in. “I’m so glad you too could make it! Please, make yourself comfortable.”

The changing room, which was really just a space separated by dividers and colourful curtains, was not very personalised. Zinovia had been right when she said this wasn’t Amparo’s own changing room and in fact had space for more people. It was still cozy, if a little messy, with puffs to sit as well as a patched up armchair. 

Amparo sat in the chair of one of the vanities in the room, wearing a well loved, dark blue robe. 

“I do have my own changing room in the other theatre, so I hope you’re not put off by people announcing themselves in and out. If you’d prefer more privacy, we could always grab drinks afterward, I think I know just the place.”

With the mention of drinks, Cadenza mentioned the tea, saying it was inside the pockets of her coat. Amparo, lightly touching her arm, told her not to worry, she could send someone to retrieve the coats. “It’s nothing, I promise.” 

Before she could do anything, a voice came from beyond the robe. It was Anatole’s. “Are you decent and are you available, Lele?” 

Amparo snorted. “I’m not decent, but I’m wearing clothes, if that’s what you’re wondering.” She opened the curtain with one swift motion. “And almost always available for you two. Cadenza, Dante, these are Anatole and Milenko — my cousins.” 

“Oh, I do know both of you,” Anatole added with a smile.

“I don’t!” Milenko said cheerily. “Hi!”

While Milenko gave Amparo a quick kiss on her temple, congratulating her for the performance, Anatole gave Cadenza a friendly wave, but, to the latter’s amusement, focused on her brother. “Non sapevo che fosse tuo fratello, Cadenza. Dante, è un piacere, come sempre,” he took Dante’s hand to bring his knuckles to his lips. “I also didn’t know you two liked Opera, what a delightful coincidence. Amparo, Lenko, should we all go to get something to drink afterwards.”

Milenko had his head poking outside of the curtains, and was yelling a thank you back at someone. “I have to run.”

Anatole raised his eyebrows at him. Amparo gave him a quizzical, yet amused look “Because...?” She said.

“Apparently the Countess was discreetly watching the play with one of her sisters, and they’re leaving, so I have to go like, right now, I’m going, I’m gone.” 

Amparo’s and Anatole’s attention was taken away from the Alighieri siblings, as they encouraged Milenko and wished him luck, telling him to run fast and to go already, watching him get through the backstage crowd as he turned to yell back at his cousins that Nadia was what beauty itself should look like. Amparo laughed, and Anatole rolled his eyes.

“So,” Cadenza began, sitting on the armchair and straightening the nonexisting wrinkles in her dress, “you talk sometimes.”

“We’ve only talked, Cadenza.” 

“I win then?”

Dante paused. He looked at his sister, then at Anatole, who was talking about something he couldn’t make out with Amparo. “Okay, fine you win.”

“I did say she would find I’m better company.”

Dante didn’t have a chance to argue, because Amparo and Anatole had their attention back on them, asking them if they would like to go for drinks with them afterwards. Neither Cadenza nor Dante found a reason to complain. 

Soon enough their coats were retrieved. Dante took out the self-refilling pen, but Amparo politely declined. “I do mark up my scripts all the time, but I am sure Anatole will find that a little more useful. He collects quills after all.”

“You do?”

“I do,” his smile was inviting, bright, his eyes curious, looking between Dante’s face and his hands.

“Take it then, it’s yours.” 

With Dante’s attention otherwise occupied, Amparo took her chance to sit closer to Cadenza. She played with her own hair, taking it to the side so it fell over her shoulder.

“Thank you,” she said, leaning forward, resting her chin on her hand, her arm propped over her knee. “The tea smells fantastic. Did you enjoy the play?”

“Very much, your singing is stunning.”

Amparo smiled, her playful intensity folding over and away, a quiet kind coming in its replacement as her dark, green eyes scanned Cadenza’s face. “Thank you,” her tongue poked out between her lips when she said ‘thanks’. “I like it very much that you could come. Let me finish changing, and we’ll be on our way, is that alright?”

“Alright.”

“Alright,” Amparo repeated as she stood up, a smile reserved only for Cadenza on her face. 

In the background, the sounds of the backstage crowd of technics, direction and actors blended with Dante’s impassioned conversation with Anatole about the principles of transmutation. Cadenza was sure she had heard Anatole say before that alchemy is nothing he is very versed at, yet he seemed to be holding the conversation just fine. Perhaps she’d ask the next time she saw him, perhaps she’d forget to. Right now, following Amparo as she got behind a divider to get dressed and talk about the play and the rest of their night with her seemed like a much better prospect. 

[miswaken]

excerpts from House of Leaves that I just think are neat + inform my portrayal of Alice

---------------------------------

      Of course, [Will] Navidson’s pastoral take on his family’s move hardly reflects the far more complicated and significant impetus behind the project -- namely his foundering relationship with longtime companion Karen Green. While both have been perfectly content not to marry, Navidson’s constant assignments abroad have lead to increased alienation and untold personal difficulties. After nearly eleven years of constant departures and brief returns, Karen has made it clear that Navidson must either give up his professional habits or lose his family. Ultimately unable to make this choice, he compromises by turning reconciliation into a subject for documentation.

      None of this, however, is immediately apparent. In fact it requires some willful amnesia of the more compelling sequences ahead, if we are to detect the subtle valences operating between Will and Karen; or as Donna York phrased it, “the way they talk to each other, they way they look after each other, and of course the way they don’t.”

-------------------------------

      In the living room, Navidson discovers the echoes emanating from a dark doorless hallway whish has appeared out of nowhere in the west wall. Without hesitating, Navidson plunges in after them. Unfortunately the living room Hi 8 cannot follow him nor for that matter can Karen. She freezes on the threshold, unable to push herself into the darkness towards the faint flicker of light within...

      This is the first sign of Karen’s chronic disability. Up until now there has never been even the slightest indication that she suffers from crippling claustrophobia. By the time Navidson and the two children are safe and sound in the living room, Karen is drenched in sweat.

--------------------------------

      Navidson was no longer around, except of course Karen still saw him every day and in a way she had never seen him before -- not as a projection of her own insecurities and demons but just as Will Navidson, in flickering light, flung up by a 16mm projector on a paint-white wall.

-----------------------------------

      Leslie Stern, M.D.: More importantly Karen, what does it mean to you?

      Funny how out of this impressive array of modern day theorists, scientists, writers, and others, it is Karen’s therapist who asks, or rather forces, the most significant question. Thanks to her, Karen goes on to fashion another short piece in which she, surprisingly enough, never mentions the house, let alone any of the comments made by the glitterati.

      It is an extraordinary twist. Not once are those multiplying hallways ever addressed. Not once does Karen dwell on their darkness and cold. She produces six minutes of film that has absolutely nothing to do with that place. Instead her eye (and her heart) turn to what matters most to her about Ash Tree Lane; what in her own words... “that wicked place stole from me.”

      ...Karen gives her piece the somewhat faltering title A Brief History Of Who I Love...

-------------------------------

      There are only 8,160 frames in Karen’s film and yet they serve as a perfect counterpoint to that infinite stretch of hallways, rooms and stairs. The house is empty, her piece is full. The house is dark, her film glows. A growl haunts that place, her place is blessed by Charlie Parker. On Ash Tree Lane stands a house of darkness, cold, and emptiness. In 16mm stands a house of light, love, and colour.

      By following her heart, Karen made sense of what that place was not. She also discovered what she needed more than anything else. She stopped seeing Fowler, cut off questionable liaisons with other suitors, and while her mother talked of breaking up, selling the house, and settlements, Karen began to prepare herself for reconciliations.

      Of course she had no idea what that would entail.

      Or how far she would have to go.

-----------------------------

      “He’s still alive,” she tells Reston over the phone. “I heard him last night. I couldn’t understand what he said. But I know I heard his voice.”

      Reston arrives the next day and stays until midnight, never hearing a thing. He seems more than a little concerned about Karen’s mental health.

      “If he is still in there Karen,” Reston says quietly. “He’s been there for over a month. I can’t see how there’s any way he could survive.”

      But a few hours after Reston leaves, Karen smiles again, apparently catching somewhere inside her the faint voice of Navidson. This happens over and over again, whether late at night or in the middle of the day. Sometimes Karen calls out to him, sometimes she just wanders from room to room, pushing her ear against walls or floors. Then on the afternoon of May 10th, she finds in the children’s bedroom, born out of nowhere, Navidson’s clothes, remnants of his pack and sleeping bag, and scattered across the floor, from corner to corner, cartridges of film, boxes of 16mm, and easily a dozen video tapes.

      She immediately calls Reston and tells him what has happened, asking him to drive over as soon as he can. Then she locates an AC adapter, plugs in a Hi 8 and begins rewinding one of the newly discovered tapes.

      The angle from the room mounted camcorder does not provide a view of her Hi 8 screen. Only Karen’s face is visible. Unfortunately, for some reason, she is also slightly out of focus. In fact the only thing in focus is the wall behind her where some of Daisy and Chad’s drawings still hang. The shot lasts an uncomfortable fifteen seconds, until abruptly that immutable surface disappears. In less than a blink, the white wall along with the drawings secured with yellowing scotch tape vanishes into an inky black.

      Since Karen faces the opposite direction, she fails to notice the change. Instead her attention remains fixed on the Hi 8 which has just finished rewinding the tape. But even as she pushes play, the yawn of dark does not waver. In fact it almost seems to be waiting for her, for the moment when she will finally divert her attention from the tiny screen and catch sight of the horror looming up behind her, which is of course exactly what she does when she finds out that the video tape shows...

-----------------------------

      nothing more now than the mere dark. The tape is blank.

      Finally when Karen does turn around to discover the real emptiness waiting behind her, she does not scream. Instead her chest heaves, powerless for a moment to take anything in or expel anything out. Oddly enough as she starts to retreat from the children’s bedroom, it almost looks as if something catchers her attention. A few minutes later, she returns with a halogen flashlight and steps towards the edge.

      Hanan Jabara suggests Karen heard something, though there is nothing even remotely like a sound on the Hi 8. Carlos Ellsberg agrees with Jabara: “Karen stops because of something she hears.” Only he qualifies this statement by adding, “the sound is obviously imagined. Another example of how the mind, any mind, consistently seeks to impose itself upon the abyss.”

      As everyone knows, Karen stands there on the brink for several minutes, pointing her flashlight into the darkness and calling out for Navidson. When she finally does step inside, she takes no deep breath and makes no announcement. She just steps forward and disappears behind the black curtain. A second later that cold hollow disappears too, replaced by the wall, exactly as it was before, except for one thing: all the children’s drawings are gone.

      Karen’s action inspired Paul Auster to conjure up a short internal monologue tracing the directions of her thoughts. Donna Tartt also wrote an inventive portrayal of Karen’s dilemma. Except in Tartt’s version, instead of stepping into darkness, Karen returns to New York and marries a wealthy magazine publisher. Purportedly there even exists an opera based on The Navidson Record, written from Karen’s perspective, with this last step into the void serving as the subject for the final aria. 

      Whatever ultimately allows Karen to overcome her fears, there is little doubt her love for Navidson is the primary catalyst. Her desire to embrace him as she has never done before defeats the memories of that dark well... In this moment, she displays the restorative power of what Erich Fromm terms the development of “symbiotic relationships” through personal courage.

      Critic Guyon Keller argues that the role of vision is integral to Karen’s success:

I believe Karen could never have crossed that line had she not first made those two remarkable cinematic moment: What Some Have Thought and A Brief History Of Who I Love. By relearning to see Navidson, she saw what he wasn’t and consequently began to see herself much more clearly.

      Esteemed Italian translator Sophia Blynn takes Keller’s comments a little further:

The most important light Karen carried into that place was the memory of Navidson. And Navidson was no different. Though it’s commonly assumed his last [recorded] word was “care” or the start of “careful,” I would argue differently. I believe this utterance is really just the first syllable of the very name on which his mind and his heart had finally come to rest. His only hope, his only meaning: “Karen.”

      Regardless of what finally enabled her to walk across that threshold, forty-nine minutes later a neighbor saw Karen crying on the front lawn, a pink ribbon in her hair, Navidson cradled in her lap.

------------------------------------------

      As to what happened after Karen disappeared from view, the only existing account comes from a short interview conducted by a college journalist from William & Mary:

Karen: As soon as I walked in there, I started shivering. It was so cold and dark. I turned around to see where I was but where I’d come from was gone. I started hyperventilating. I couldn’t breathe. I was going to die. But somehow I managed to keep moving. I kept putting one foot in front of the other until I found him.

Q: You knew he was there?

Karen: No, but that’s what I was thinking. And then he was there, right at my feet, no clothes on and all curled up. His hand was white as ice. [She holds back the tears.] When I saw him like that it didn’t matter anymore where I was. I’d never felt that, well, free before.

[Long pause]

Q: What happened then?

Karen: I held him. He was alive. He made a sound when I cradled his head in my arms. I couldn’t understand what he was saying at first but then I realized the flashlight was hurting his eyes. So I turned it off and held him in the darkness.

[Another long pause]

Q: How did you get him out of the house?

Karen: It just dissolved.

Q: Dissolved? What do you mean?

Karen: Like a ad dream. We were in pitch blackness and then I saw, no... actually my eyes were closed. I felt this warm, sweet air on my face, and then I opened my eyes and I could see trees and grass. I thought to myself, “We’ve died. We’ve died and this is where you go after you die.” But it turned out to be just our front yard.

Q: You’re saying the house dissolved?

Karen: [No response]

Q: How’s that possible? It’s still there, isn’t it?

END OF INTERVIEW

--------------

      In Passion for Pity and Other Recipes For Disaster (London: Greenhill Books, 1996) Helmut Muir cried: “They both live. They even get married. It’s a happy ending.”

      Which is true. Both Karen and Will Navidson survive their ordeal and they do exchange conjugal vows in Vermont. Of course, is it really possible to look at Navidson’s ravaged face, the patch covering his left eye, the absence of a hand, the crutch wedged under his armpit, and call it a “happy” ending? Even putting aside the physical cost, what about the unseen emotional trauma which Muir so casually dismisses?

      The Navidsons may have left the house, they may have even left Virginia, but they will never be able to leave the memory of that place.

[queerchoicesblog]

The Understudy

Hiya, folks! So, as previously announced, the wlw writing project continues after a break with a miniseries set back in Vienna, one of the iconic capitals of opera at the time of Mozart. An emerging singer gets the chance to be an understudy in the latest Mozart’s discussed opera Le Nozze di Figaro (The Marriage of Figaro), that  premiered at the Burgtheater in Vienna on 1 May 1786, w and play the pants role of the page Cherubino. Preparing for the role doesn’t quite go as planned… .

I took the liberty to add a few Italian words every now and there so here are all the useful translations that might come in handy as you read: cara (dear, female adjective), una meraviglia (a true wonder).

Tagging: @scottishqueer​

Previous wlw miniseries: Ancient Greece, Italian Renaissence, Belle Epoque Paris, Sixties.

Hope you enjoy it: if you do, please consider spreading the word!

____________________________

"So...will you do it?" The voice is calm just like the honeyed smile on her lips, but the look in the primadonna's eyes is unmistakable: the great Adriana Ferrarese can't wait to see me out of the door. She's a seasoned professional, she knows how to conceal her displease but I'm not dumb: a jewelled hand rested over Da Ponte's tight and eyes following every single move I make, every single breath I take, she's clearly conveying that my presence is no longer welcome here. It never was, I think: it surely wasn't her idea to invite me here today! Has she tried to dissuade the Maestro from summoning me, I wonder? I'm surprised she failed: you know what they say, feminine wiles can work miracles on men, make them change their minds like a vain girl changes clothes yet...here I am. And she's fuming underneath her well practiced poise. Poor Ferrarese, my blonde curls, my youth must be a threat to her especially in front of him. Ah, I knew that the rumours were true: she's the Italian operatic librettist's mistress! Cunning little devil...of course she gets all the best roles now. Before everyone else.

I join her game and pretend not to notice the subliminal messages she keeps throwing me. I fan myself nonchalantly, pondering the offer I've just received. I am a bit confused: I really don't know what to think of it or how to take it. "Let me get this straight, Maestro" I say, ignoring her and addressing Da Ponte. "You beg me to come here with great haste and ask me to be a last minute understudy for a...page role?" I may not be as famous as his mistress but it's an insult! True, my career hasn't reached its peak yet but I'm not the new girl desperate to get a role: I have adoring admirers throwing flowers and screaming my name whenever I walk into the stage after the grand finale. Who does he think he's talking to? He must understand my disappointment because he's quick to reassure me. "Miss Constanze, Cherubino is not a simple page" he smiles apologetically. "The whole opera revolves around the world of counts and servants, you know Herr Mozart is an innovator, an unconventional spirit...if I remember correctly, you have already worked with him" "Correct" I concede. I'm curious to see where this is going, how he will convince me to accept this. "Well, this new opera has already been a success and trust me: the people of Vienna won't tire of it anytime soon! And the role we kindly asked you to be an understudy for is the most loved by our audience, I assure you. Ask around if you don't believe me: those who attended the opera are head over heels for the Count's page, they recall his scenes, sing his arias underneath their breath...the audience is crazy for him! That's why we couldn't ask just anyone to replace the original singer, but only a refined, talented woman like you, Miss Konstanze" There's a note of pride in his voice. I must give him, it's not surprising that there servant or unconventional roles in Mozart's operas - in The Abduction from the Seraglio I played one of the harem girls - but by the brief description he gave me of the plot I cannot bring myself to understand how the audience can fall in love with a page who doesn't even have an aria for the whole third act and is constantly sidelined. It doesn't make sense: it's a recipe for oblivion to my ears. But he's right: the Wedding is the talk of the town so I should probably say yes anyway, even if no, I don't enjoy the idea of being sidelined. I mean, we all want to glow on stage and bask in the light and audience's adoration. We want their applauses meant for us alone, ringing in our ears when the curtains raise for one last blessed time, we want flowers thrown at us, we want glory. And I am not sure this Cherubino will be my ally on that front if there are two major romances in the main plot already. And even if the audience showed a liking for the page, well I must remember I am not the first singer so my performance will not avoid comparisons. The Maestro speaks again, derailing my line of thoughts. "You see, dear Miss Constanze, Cherubino is not a main character yet he is essential to the plot: without him the whole story wouldn't make sense! One could say that he bears the comedic side of the opera over his young shoulders and even if he doesn't get as many arias as other characters, oh, his are as sweet as cherries, una meraviglia! No wonder the audience loves him...and the restricted number of arias to study might help you prepare properly within such a short notice if you kindly offer your help-" "I would have prepared properly even if I had the double amount of arias within such a short notice, caro Maestro" I interrupt him, just in case he forgot who he is talking to, again. He bows his head, dramatically placing a hand on his heart in display of apology. "But of course, your outstanding professionalism is not questioned here, Miss. To prove it, let me tell you that Herr Mozart was particularly happy when I suggested your name for poor Dorotea's understudy". His mistress' smile is now so tight I have to summon every ounce of professionalism to refrain myself from bursting into a loud insolent laughter. "That's incredibly kind of you, Maestro: I really don't know how to thank you" I purr instead, unable to resist: how could I miss a chance to tease - and piss off! - the primadonna? La Ferrarese throws me a side look I will never forget: I wonder if she has a dagger hidden underneath her skirt and will chase me in the streets in the heat of jealousy when I turn my back at her. Sounds like a scene out of one of those Italian operas, I consider, amused. Do Italians do that offstage too? She only has to dare though: I am younger than her and I have claws too. "Say yes then, Miss" he proposes, radiant. "If you ask me, Herr Mozart thinks you are the best choice and the perfect Cherubino. Say yes, cara Constanze". His face is an expectant plea and I have a feeling that if his mistress wasn't here, he would be begging me on his knees to accept this role. Honestly, I don't know what to make of Herr Mozart's comment about me being just "perfect" to pass for a boy...am I not feminine enough for him in my skirts, tight corset and jewellery a wealthy admirer keeps giving? Whatever. That man is a genius maybe but he's certainly a weirdo. But I think I should accept: it's not the most flattering offer but no one reached the top without taking an understudy role at least once. And so here I am, a week later, in the room of one of Da Ponte's personal friends and composer to help me prepare for the new performance. I don't have much time, not even a month, but his flattery won me. I can do this. I must admit that I'm secretly happy to know that Herr Mozart won't direct the new revivals: he's a brilliant composer and musician but I still remember his wandering hands. I don't think any woman who worked with him - or simply has been around him for more than a bunch of minutes, I wager - got away without a pinch or a breast squeeze. I fail to understand why so many girls fall madly in love with him or at least confess they can't resist his charm. Even his wife still giggle like a child and melt in front of his "Wolfie", despite his endless and well known - and rather squalid, if you ask me - affairs! I mean, not that this Melchiorri is any different: by the so very discreet looks he keeps throwing at my décolleté or by the way his hands linger a bit too much on my hips when he insists to fix my posture, I bet he wouldn't mind me as his mistress. Another lecherous wop, excellent. I've been around so many by now that I know them by heart: honeyed words, usually blabs a lot in a dreamy voice of how they miss Venice or whatever dear hometown they come from and how much you remind them of this or that flower or woman of their childhood. Too many compliments, strong accent hoping you would fall for their exoticism, fine clothing. Just like Mr. Melchiorri. He's from Milan and is a close friend of Salieri. Sometimes I cannot help but wonder if we let too many Italians here in Vienna: sadly, so far they rule the world of the opera and our Emperor is head over heels for them. Ah, better not tell the Empress> she might throw ond hell of a jealousy tantrum! Melchiorri is very gallant, almost regal even if he loses his composure when he speaks of music. He often asks to excuse his passionate temperament with an apologetic smile but I can't shake my mind that this is just a subtle hint to another passionate temperament he would die to show me if the lingering stares he gives me, mesmerised, as I bite the Italian delights he has ready for me - "delivered directly for you, mia cara, from Italy" - every time I visit him for our private sessions are any indication. They're chestnut chocolate truffles with a pinch of brandy, I wager, covered in withe chocolate with a ruby cherry on top. They're called "capezzoli di Venere", that is nipples of Venus, he revealed one day, a mischievous smile on his face: he was probably hoping to shock me or see me blush profusely. Instead, I barked out a laughter and took a generous bite. I regretted it when he bit his lip clearly refraining himself for making another move. But at least he's a good teacher, I make progresses fast. I've been around too many Melchiorris and Herr Mozarts to be bothered. I mean, obviously I'm bothered that most men thinks we opera singers are just harlots in fancier dresses when we broke our backs studying languages, music and singing hard since a very early age. We didn't sacrifice the best years of our lives only to be mistaken for mannequins with a melodious voice when we sing the arias they wrote. But that's what it is and I must focus now. And it's so difficult at times with men like these. Just like when one day the door of his studio slams open out of the blue while I'm rehearsing an aria and a little boy of three, four years maybe runs inside laughing. He's visibly proud of evading whoever was asked to look after him. True to his "passionate temperament", Melchiorri is suddenly furious. He barely looks at the child and shouts out the name of the unfortunate servant before profusely apologise to me. A terrified young maid comes running and soon chaos takes hold of the room: Melchiorri alternates between tight apologetic smiles in my direction and not so gallant curses he thinks I do not understand to the the poor maid who chases the cheeky little boy with great effort but little success. I must admit it's rather amusing even if I'm wasting my time. Suddenly I have an idea. When finally the maestro shuts up to catch breath, I sing an impromptu elaborate thrill at full voice. The little boy freezes and turns towards in awe while the maid wraps her arms around him: caught! Melchiorri needs a moment to process what happened while the girl flashes me a quick, grateful smile. "There, emergency solved" I announce, beaming. "Can we proceed now, Maestro?"

[twoidiotwriters1]

Starcrossed Losers 2.IV (Josh Wheeler xF!Reader)

A/N: I’m sorry it took me so long omg I’m the worst. Let me know if I forgot to tag you or if you wanna be tagged -Danny

Words: 2,022

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to me!

I guess you're all expecting me to say something about what happened. I should, after all, I hid this piece of information from you, not that I owe it to you, but I guess it's confusing...

'More than just a dream...'

Josh and I are still holding hands while we start the tour, and I wish I could say I was feeling bad about it but to be honest I'm still way too drunk on the bliss to be ashamed. I felt bad though, I did promise Nathan a date before everything went to hell. As a matter of fact, he was going to be my homecoming date.

Where to start? Perhaps you'd like to know who Nathan was in my group of friends? Easy.

*Throwback time*

Nathan was the 'popular' of our group. Do you know how there's always that one friend that seems to know everyone for really strange reasons? The one that 'knows a guy, that knows a guy, that has a cousin'... that's Nathan.

He was also the good looking guy of our group. I know I said Alex was attractive, but man, Nathan was the real deal, he had charisma and a great smile, try to beat that when you're sixteen and have zero social skills.

I didn't have a crush on him though, but it was a very well thought decision like I said before, I wasn't going to let someone close to me break my heart, and both Nathan and Alex were too close, so I buried those thoughts about him before I could even consider it.

I never had a thing for him until... well, until he asked me to homecoming. I never knew why he asked me, I mean sure we were good friends but he never tried to make a move (and this is not me being oblivious this is me saying Nathan never even commented on my looks not even once). While I do remember having said to him something along the lines of "you're so pretty you annoy me" one night while I was completely shitfaced.

He laughed it off then, not bringing it up to tease me the next morning. He knew he was attractive and I certainly used to dream about dashing men like him coming to take me out for a ride or a movie, but I never thought that it'd be him the one who would ask me out.

'All the days I waited for you You know the ones who said I'd never find someone like you'

Then the end of the world happened and we never went to homecoming, yet we remained on the same group until one day he just vanished. No notes, no nothing. He left. He was also the first one to go, followed by Aria, then Phillip, then Lily, until we were just Maya, Alex and I, you know the rest.

We heard about Nathan a few weeks later though, the first loner on Glendale (Josh was very good at keeping a low profile, we didn't know he was by himself) and I thought it was a great idea to do the same, you know, follow the loner's path until I had Katie back... and you know how that turned out.

My point is, how was I supposed to know he was going to come back and still ask me for a date? What kind of person does that?

"Here we have the Cheeramazon division," Josh pointed to the sports section of the mall. "We teach sign language for those who are interested in learning, it's also handy for communicating while we're outside on a Ghoulie area..."

"Why're they here?" Nathan asked in a voice that was completely unlike him. "I mean, I know their old place got trashed but why haven't they looked for a new place?"

"They don't have enough people or resources," I replied. "They'll wait here until enough girls decide to join them or until they get enough food to survive on their own."

"And you guys are okay with that?"

"Good relationships with old tribes are everything," I shrugged. "We want to keep it friendly with everyone, we don't want to start another war."

"Really? Because you seemed ready to go out and set houses on fire five minutes ago," Josh replied sternly.

"That's different!" I scoff. "Those kids need our help and you know it!"

"What kids?" Nathan asked in curiosity.

"Are you familiar with the AV club?" I ask him.

"The kids with the podcast?"

"Exactly! They've been kidnapped and I've been trying to convince my tribe to go out and look for them but they refuse–"

"Because we're barely recovering from Triumph," Josh interrupted. "Listen Y/N, we can't be heroes fighting against some kids in suits..."

"Here we have the gamer's layer," I continue, forcing them to leave the subject. "But you don't have to write that down, they're leaving in a few days to their old cave. Been here to help us with some tech stuff..."

"Those over there are the X-jocks," Josh points over a couple of kids playing and exercising at the other side of the mall, "they followed Turbo after he was kicked out. They're no longer Jocks, but they don't want to be called Daybreakers either."

"They don't wanna mingle with all the weirdos, apparently," I roll my eyes.

"We have a healers division, which is coordinated by Y/N," Josh puts a hand on my shoulder and smiles. "She's great... a training division that Wesley and Turbo handle... Am I missing something?"

"The Daybreakers, which are lead by this loser," I look at Josh with a smirk. "He schedules our vigilance system, the hunts– Oh, and the weekly competitions."

"What are those about?"

"We organize tournaments and the awards are free days from working or having to go outside, stuff like that."

"Okay," Nathan nods, writing everything down. "I think that's all..."

"Cool," Someone calls Josh and he looks back at us. "Can you finish the tour on your own?"

"I– Yeah, okay," I reply anxiously. "See you in a while..."

Josh gives me a quick kiss and leaves to where he's needed, leaving me alone with Mister 'U-owe-me-a-date'.

"So..." I awkwardly start.

"I think I owe you an apology," He replies immediately.

"What?"

"I didn't know you and Josh... what I said was completely out of place anyway, who asks that kind of stuff to someone they haven't seen in months? I–"

"Nathan," I stop him, "It's okay, really, you didn't know, it's alright."

"I'm sorry," He repeats, this time calmer. "I ditch you and the group, I just... I don't know, I felt stuck..."

"I get that, we left too, eventually," I shrug. "Went to look for my sister, but... she died."

"Oh," He frowns. "I'm so sorry... was she–?"

"A Ghoulie, yeah," I sigh. "It's okay, I'm better now, I have this place and I have..."

"Josh..."

"I was going to say I have a sledgehammer, but sure," I joke.

He smiles and suddenly I remember why I used to like his smile so much. It really is quite dreamy.

'And you were out of my league All the things I believed You were just the right kind Yeah, you were more than just a dream'

"Those kids..." He mentions. "The AV club?"

"Yeah?" My heart jumps at the mention. "Do you know anything about them? Anything that could help?"

"No, but Josh mentioned kids in suits? I think I've seen them–"

"Y/N!" Josh runs back to us in a hurry. "They found them!"

"What? Who?"

"The AV Club!" He replies.

I try to walk over to the gamer's layer but Josh stops me.

"Wait," He holds me in place. "It's an X-Pug zone."

"That, or the kids in suits want us to believe it is," I point out, "Josh let me go! I want to know where it is!"

"We're not taking anyone there! You know we can't, Y/N! We don't have enough people, who knows how many of those are out there..."

I want to argue back but I know that Josh is right.

"Fine," I let go of his arms and he does the same with me. "Can I at least take a look? Maybe one day we'll go and... and just take a look..."

Josh doesn't need me to end the sentence though, he understands.

"Okay," He starts walking when Nathan speaks up.

"Can I see?"

We turn to see him, both wearing the same confused expression.

"It's just..." He moves his weight from one foot to the other. "I was telling Y/N that I've seen those kids before and maybe... I could talk to Sam, maybe she'd like to help?"

I look at Josh with my best puppy eyes and he sighs in defeat, nodding along.

"Fine..."

Nathan catches up with us and grins at me. What I shame I lost my chance with this guy, he looks like straight out of a fantasy, who knows, maybe he was the one meant to be with me if all this apocalypse stuff never happened in the first place...

'You were out of my league Got my heartbeat racing If I die, don't wake me 'Cause you are more than just a dream'

When we arrive Aria takes me directly to her laptop and points to the image in it. I hear her talk to Nathan for a moment while I see the streets and the directions and since I know the whole city by heart it takes me a minute to memorize the whole thing. I don't tell this to Josh, of course.

"Are you going to leave us alone now?" She asks irritatedly.

"Sure thing, you can leave during the night and I wouldn't even bat an eye at it," I reply, still looking at the screen. "Let me just..."

I pull out my phone and take a picture of the screen, is not perfect but it's quick and it's just in case. Josh gives me a warning look but I smile.

"Thank you for doing this," I step closer to him and put my arms around his neck. "See? It didn't kill us to find out, right?"

If I've learned anything in my short stupid life, is that flattery can take you places... and it distracts a boy's brain faster than anything else.

Josh smiles at me and I know I have his whole attention, so I quickly put my phone away.

"Anyway!" I break the spell and look at the gamers. "You guys did a good job, I'll leave you now. Nathan, let me walk you to the door..."

Halfway to the entrance, Nathan speaks.

"You're so not going to listen to what Josh told you to do. I know it, I can see it in your face."

"How long till I can hear from you and Sam?" I ask him in a business-like voice.

"A day, maybe two?"

"You think she'll help?"

"That if we can push Maya to a side."

"Don't mention my name and you'll have a bigger chance to succeed."

I stop at the door and turn to look at him decidedly.

"You have no idea how much this means to me."

"If you're risking your stay at the mall and your relationship with Josh, I assume a lot," He raises a brow.

"He won't kick me out for this," I roll my eyes.

"He's your leader, Y/N."

I remember that none of our feelings ever stopped Josh from kicking me out the first time. So he's not entirely wrong.

"Don't sweat it," Nathan shakes his head, "I'll do my best to keep everyone happy, just like you've been doing for the last few weeks. Consider this my thank you gift for all the hard work you've been doing, Vinchi."

"Oh," I cringe. "I don't really go by that nickname anymore..."

"Oh, sorry," He pouts. "Just Y/N, then?"

"Unless you have a new nickname for me," I grin.

Nathan tilts his head like he's considering what I'm saying.

"I'll think about it," He smiles.

"I'll see you in two days," I smile back.

'Yeah, you were more than just a dream...'

Taglist.

@letsbe-queer @slythermyg​ @loving-u-3000​ @one-loud-mind

[chaoticspacefam]

OC Worldbuilding Tag Pt 2!

...electric boogaloo! I’m sorry I know this joke is old now but I cannot help it, it’s ingrained in my brain XD

I got another tag for this from @a-master-procrastinator , thank you! :D

I think all my friends & mutuals have already been tagged for this one? But I’ll throw a couple out here if you want to, no pressure as always!: @mercurypilgrim​ , @actualanxiousswampwitch and @sleepswithvillains maybe?

Some more Saarai, because I love her. Some very slight spoilers for some of the differences in the Subterfugeverse plot points but nothing major! ;3 Long post warning again, as well as some brief mentions of Valkorion being a dick and causing a mass-genocide but all on the same level as the presented game canon.

- Saarai is psychometric and has been since she was pretty young, a Force power she inherited from D’leah’s mother, Saa’thri, because it “skipped” D’leah and Saarai got it instead. Though she didn’t realise it at the time and it wasn’t until she brought it up to her mother and D’leah went “oh yeah, your grandma had that too :)” that she realised it was actually A Thing.

- She’s not always good at recognising when a vision is from the Psychometry and when it’s just “her imagination”, particularly when she’s younger (which gets her into some trouble, see: the whole Tsâhis thing). Even after she gets used to it, sometimes it still hits her out of nowhere and if it’s a particularly nasty vision she’ll sometimes lose her footing and hit the deck - thankfully, because of their Force bond, Ni’kasi can usually figure out what’s happening and react fast enough to catch her before she smacks her head on something.

- Nathema was...not fun for Saarai thanks to the Psychometry. She’d wanted to go with them to protect them and ended up having to be dragged back to the ship and wait there because the moment she tried to touch anything there the Force went “Oh hey!! would you like some Detailed Flashbacks About What Happened Here!!” and yeah...she did not have a good time. Going to Nathema was kind of a mistake for her. Woops. (She gets through it though, Lana gets her back to the ship and she gets a handle on things but definitely doesn’t go all the way into the facility with Vano and Lana. Probably a good thing, too, if she’d picked up that toy of Vaylin’s I think she would’ve found those visions quite upsetting to watch, too.)

- She and Lana don’t share a Force bond, only because she has one with her sister, Ni’kasi instead. Neither of the twins are exactly sure when it formed, but they’ve had the connection for as long as they can remember. When they’re separated while Saarai and Ty are on Rishii, it’s harder for them to communicate because of the distance between them and Kas putting up barriers “just in case” the Sith tried to interrogate her at any point, she didn’t want to give Saarai away. They knew enough to know the other twin was probably still alive, but not to know exactly what was going on with each other until they finally reunite with the first Coalition on Yavin IV. That was the final relief for the twins, actually getting to see the other one standing there and definitely very much alive, there were hugs and a lot of tears, absolutely. <3

- Saarai is very much a “reluctant leader”, she never wanted to be a figurehead in the Alliance nor did she want to be telling people what to do, but circumstances “forced” her into the role and she had to stumble around awkwardly and adapt. With Vano gone and stuck in carbonite, somone had to step up and make sure the people that were working with Vano stuck together and didn’t fall apart (Not all of Vano’s crew disperse, Broonmark, Pierce and Jaesa always remain with the Alliance. Quinn ends up in jail after the Quinncident and Vette goes missing during one of their attempts to search for Vano’s whereabouts only to reappear as in canon later ;)) With Marr dead and the rest of the Dark Council under Zakuul’s heel or missing, that left Lana, Ni’kasi and Aria as alternative “leadership” figures. Lana lacked the ambition for it and was more tooled to be an advisor and while both Ni’kasi and Aria are bossy enough to delegate tasks, they’re abrasive and people don’t like them. But they like Saarai and they listen to her. So everyone kinda went “Okay cool you’re in charge now :)” I’m sorry, Saarai, you’re symultaneously the most and least qualified for this job but you got it anyway :P She settles into it eventually, though, but will be the first one to adamantly insist that it’s a team effort between not only herself and Vano once they have her back, but Lana, Koth, Theron and all the other trusted members of the Alliance acting as advisors in their respective fields of interest.

- In Subterfugeverse, I headcanon that Vano and Saarai share the command of the Alliance once Vano returns. Vano has the Commander title and handles most of the battle tactics and strategy, whereas Saarai handles things like conflict resolution and public relations, as well as controlling the Eternal Fleet. Things work very differently in Subterfugeverse in terms of the Throne so I’ll try to keep it brief but essentially:

Valkorion “took over” the Sith Empire from the Ahaszaai, Saarai’s ancestors. It was a very hostile takeover and currently Saarai, Ni’kasi, Ty, eventually Ni’kasi’s kids, and their uncle Vowrawn are the only four Ahaszaai left in the entire galaxy.

While they didn’t technically have claim to the Zakuulan throne, the original Sith homeworld before Valkorion’s bullshit was Medriaas (which is canon, I’m just borrowing this part because it fits in nicely ;)), which became Nathema after Valkorion did his whole “planet eating” thing.

Vano is initially the only one who can control the Throne and the Fleet via the whole “Valkorion is in her head” loophole. However, that loophole becomes defunct once Valkorion gets yanked out of her mind since it was Valkorion that gave her the ability to control it in the first place.

I’m assuming for the sake of plot flow that it’s based upon two specific “checks” and that’s 1) direct blood ties to the Emperor(ess) in power and/or 2) said Emperor(ess) currently controlling the throne directly and willingly passing their authority over the throne to a successor - which is how Valkorion is able to give the Outlander/Vano control of the Fleet while he’s in her mind, even though she’s not blood related to him.

They’re able to, with some research, deduce that they can exploit this apparent loophole in the system, to avoid losing control of the Fleet entirely and risking any of the GEMINI droids turning into another SCORPIO; and Vano essentially rescinds control of the Throne/Fleet to Saarai, everyone (including Ni’kasi herself) agrees that Saarai is the responsible choice because she’s not going to get a bee in her bonnet and with an errant thought accidentally set the Eternal Fleet on the Jedi or something of the sort.

Since Saarai has direct blood ties to the original ruling Sith before Valkorion userped the title from them, and Vano willingly gave the Throne up to her, the Throne can’t throw a tantrum about it and just has to deal with it. XD

- Once they do manage to track down where Vano is, before Lana and Koth head to Zakuul to actually break her out, Lana comes to Saarai for help with that. Ni’kasi has to stay to watch Ty and also try and keep a tenuous line with the other Sith thanks to her position on the Dark Council, Aria’s too emotionally charged to think straight and Lana is rightfully worried she might make a mistake that puts the whole rescue mission in jeapordy, so they ask Saarai instead. It’s kind of awkward and she and Koth rub each other the wrong way at first, they bicker for two thirds of the entire trip there and Lana almost throws them both out of the airlock for it, but eventually do find a way to bury the hatchet before they actually arrive at Zakuul to rescue Vano.

- By the time they find the Gravestone, Saarai and Koth have made up and though they are not yet involved with eachother at that time, have both agreed that fighting over Lana is stupid and they can make this work without making things difficult for anyone else, so the whole interruption in the Gravestone’s cargo hold, for Subterfugeverse, is genuinely an accident. Saarai heads up to check on him afterwards and they have another amicable and productive conversation and end up growing a little closer. Their side of the relationship is a little slower to form, but they do eventually end up developing deeper feelings for each other, though it’s strictly non-sexual between Rai and Koth and they are both 100% happy and okay with that.

[akindofmagictoo]

20 first lines tag game

this comes from @zmlorenz and also I think @amillionwips — thank you both!

rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20 stories just list them all). see if there are any patterns. choose your favourite opening line. then tag others. 

(I will tag @writingbyjillian @pamsdrabbles @sleepyowlwrites and anyone who wants to play!) 

Hurricane 

Tempest stilled her bouncing leg, eyeing her sleeping husband. Had she woken him? She took a careful breath and didn’t let it go until he snored and rolled over, pulling the covers tighter around himself. Still she waited. One breath. Two breaths. When he still didn’t move, she stood up and grabbed her coat and sword belt, not even bothering to put them on. Because she had to leave, and she had to leave today. 

Theo x Aella Little Mermaid AU

Water closed over his head, tugged at his clothes. Tugged him down… down… 

He wanted to cry out for help, but the water filled up his mouth before he could make a sound. Cold stole into his limbs, heavy and dark, weighing him down. 

His chest ached, searching for air. Deep, cold darkness wrapped around him. Dragging, pressing, pulling down.

Down… down… down… 

When he’d hit the water, he’d panicked. That was gone now. All he felt was the cold, the deep dark cold.

a random post-canon Theo x Aella oneshot 

Thunder rumbled overhead, blending into the drumming of the rain on the roof. Aella tucked her blanket more tightly around herself, but it did no good. She couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t keep her mind off the locked front door, Alanna’s instruction to stay inside. It felt too much like other locked doors. Every time she closed her eyes, she was back there again and—

No. Sitting in this bed alone with her thoughts would do no good.

a post-canon Theo x Aella oneshot (sort of the former version of the one above)

“Read the mermaid one again.” Aella snuggled against Theo, pressed up between him and the arm of the big old armchair. 

a Theo x Aella modern AU 

Even with a map on his phone, Theo was impressed he’d made it to the small cafe on the main street. True, it was the main street, but his new house wasn’t, and directions weren’t his forte. Given how recently he’d moved, it was at least understandable. 

The cafe was small, but its list of drink options was larger than he’d expected. But it included several types of tea, so he ordered a familiar English Breakfast and sat down at the nearest table.

post-canon oneshot of the Hurricane women play ‘theatre’ 

“So, who’s up next?” Aria stretched out in her hammock. “As much as I enjoyed being the defence lawyer, I think it’s someone else’s turn.” 

“I’ll play the accused. I want to try my daring escape again,” Aella volunteered, sitting up. 

Theo grinned. “Because you got caught last time?” 

a crossover royalty AU with another project (Labyrinth) 

(this isn’t the first line, but it’s the first lines where Theo appears. also, you would be correct if you assume that the Spanish princess is not Aella. that is the complication.) 

“Spain confirmed the marriage alliance,” said Jared. “We still have to confirm it one last time, though.” 

Theo glanced up at his dad. “Hardly surprising, really. They offered it, after all.” 

Jared nodded. “Are you still alright with this? We can turn them down now, if you want.” 

“My calendar is free,” said Theo, straight-faced. “I mean, it’s not like I’ve got my eye on someone else or whatever. Just as long as I’m not expected to actually have a romantic relationship with the Spanish princess.” 

the below are all fanfictions. [ps my AO3 is @/ sidebysidewithafriend go check it out if any of these fics interest you] 

Shadow and Cottontail (Harry Potter: Marauders (OC insert)) 

(this is co-written, I’m posting the first part that I wrote) 

“Is there mail today?” Kai Lupin jumped the last step down to the dining room. This was the same question she’d been asking for five days, but she asked anyway. 

Her mother Hope was about to answer when an owl swooped through the open window, a parchment envelope clutched in its beak. 

“I think the answer is yes,” said Remus, descending the stairs behind her with a little more care than she’d taken. Kai rolled her eyes and crossed the room to see what the envelope contained.

Hope was already taking it from the owl. “It’s from Hogwarts,” Hope said, and Kai’s heart leapt, only to be dashed by her mother’s next words. “But there’s only one envelope. It’s addressed to you, Kai.” 

Told You You’d Kill It (Harry Potter: Romione) 

“Ugh.” Ron shoved his books to one side and ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up in all different directions. Hermione hid a smile as Ron drew his hands inside his jumper sleeves.

Through a yawn, he continued, “I’m done. I’m so tired.” Probably from his basketball training, but schoolwork was also a struggle for him, she knew. And they’d been studying in the library for several hours now. No wonder he was exhausted.

Thank You For Saving My Cat (Harry Potter: Jily) 

Lily pushed herself up to a sitting position and breathed a small sigh of relief. At least she was out. She turned back to the house, watching the orange flames that danced over the structure with her heart in her throat. Was it her imagination, or were they growing smaller?

Most of her stuff could be replaced. But she hoped nonetheless that she wouldn’t have to.

Then she remembered the one thing she’d left behind and couldn’t replace. Crookshanks. She stumbled to her feet. Legs shaking under her, she ran to the nearest firefighter and grabbed their sleeve. The firefighter gear covered its occupant’s face, but the voice sounded male. “Are you alright?” He took her arm gently, steadying her.

3AM (Harry Potter: Wolfstar) 

The beeping of the fire alarm filtered into Sirius’s sleeping brain, burrowing in until he couldn’t help but wake up. At which point he groaned and wrapped his pillow around his head, trying to block out the noise.

But this was a fire alarm, so really he had to get up. Grudgingly, he removed the pillow from his head and fumbled for his phone to check the time. The light from the screen was blinding in the darkness of his dorm room, but after a moment his eyes adjusted to see that it was 3:07 AM.

Give Him Back to Me (The Great Library: Wolfe x Santi) 

Day 1

“Nic?” Wolfe half-rose from the bed at the sound of knocking, leaving his Codex open beside him. Something was off, though. Nic wouldn’t knock. He had a key. Besides, Nic was away in Belgium, training a new company. He wasn’t due back for another day or two, and that was assuming everything went to plan.

Nevertheless, when the knock came again he got to his feet and headed for the door.

Death Is Not Fair (Shadowhunters: (very angsty) Malec) 

It wasn’t fair. Then again, life wasn’t fair.

And neither was death.

It shouldn’t have happened. It should have been a simple mission. The scans and all the reports had said there was just one demon in the area. It was a larger, stronger demon, and would’ve put up a good fight, but it was still practically nothing to a Shadowhunter like Alec.

Untitled (Shadowhunters: Sizzy) (unfinished and un-posted) 

Izzy was swearing off dating. She’d kind of thought about it before, but hearing about the amount of drama in Jace’s love life right now cemented the idea firmly in her mind. No more dating. Between that and the mess Alec had gone through a couple of months ago, she wasn’t sure she wanted any part of that. Not to mention that of all the boys she’d dated, none of the relationships had really been right. Did she believe in The One? She wasn’t sure. But none of her boyfriends had been it, that was for sure. So no more dating for her. She was here to study forensic chemistry, after all, and surely it was better to concentrate on that.

Moving Day (Riordanverse: Blitzstone) 

Last? signed Hearth. 

Blitz brushed a speck of dust from the shoulder of his shirt, studying Hearth’s face. He knew exactly how many boxes were left to move, and it was more than zero, but the elf was looking paler than usual. If that was possible. As he watched, Hearth swayed a little and put a hand on the wall for support. “No. But I’ll get the rest. You need a break.”

Untitled quarantine AU (Riordanverse: Percabeth) (unfinished and un-posted)

“Thanks for letting me stay over to finish this project,” said Annabeth, setting the last piece on the model Coliseum she’d made. They’d done most of it last night, and she was just adding the finishing touches now. Although that had been before school had been shut down; they’d been notified the night before, but since she was here she’d been determined to finish it.  

Untitled (The Hobbit) (I have a “better version of Tauriel’s arc” thing in the works, and this is an accompanying oneshot of how the Durins died in this version) (un-posted) 

“Where is he? It looks empty. I think Azog has fled.” Fili glanced around nervously, his breath steaming in the icy air. 

“I don’t think so,” said Thorin. 

Footsteps sounded on the ice, echoing in all directions. It was impossible to know their source. 

“We’ve got company,” Thorin growled. 

Kili readied his sword. 

This was practically everyday for them at this point. Every motion of his sword, every footstep, every bit of it was familiar. Fili hardly had to think. His sword flashed in the faint light. Droplets of blood and crystals of ice spattered his exposed skin, hot and cold. He was at home here; he might not have been on the ice before, but with a sword in his hand and Kili and Thorin at his back, he was content.

this is VERY long. if you read to here, thank you! and maybe consider reading some of them in full on my AO3?