#it's awful to see how much hate both the actor and character have gotten from racist shitbags

[argonapricot]

I think it's important to point out the hate Reva & other characters of color got vs the (mostly) love Shin has gotten, but calling out fandom racism doesn't need to turn into shitting on Shin. Of course I want her to be fleshed out more as a character, but acting like there isn't anything there just because she doesn't talk a lot? Like, sorry to people who don't bother to read between the lines & need everything spoon fed, but I'm built different. This is a VISUAL medium, after all. Also, this is Star Wars, the only quality you need to be a beloved character is to look cool, lol.

I agree! I think fandom racism in Star Wars is obviously a huge problem, and the way that a lot of the general public reacts to SW characters/actors of color is consistently racist and awful. It makes complete sense for people to be annoyed watching the double standard in action, and it's definitely worthwhile to point that out. It's true that if Shin were black or asian, she would be receiving a huge amount of racist backlash and hate, so many more people would be constantly complaining about her being a poorly written character, etc. I think it's valid for anyone to express frustration about that.

But at the same time, I think it's still always okay for people to enjoy the characters that they enjoy. I completely agree that Star Wars is a heavily visual medium - and an auditory medium as well! Good visual design and soundtrack can be enough to make a Star Wars character beloved, it always has been, and imo Baylan and Shin have some of of the best visual design that I've ever seen from a Star War. They are just extremely memorable and exciting from the moment you lay eyes on them, from the moment you see them in action at the start of the show. They are wearing knightly armor, that is so cool. It is unavoidably a really good idea to have a Norse-themed knight-coded dark side-wielding master-apprentice duo with matching robes and hair and lightsabers! They are both so cool to watch on screen, especially at the same time! It can't be helped!

Reading between the lines and speculating about a character is normal, fun and valid. That's what fandom is about! In the silm fandom, there are usually only a handful of canon attributes and actions that you know about any given character. Those limited actions and attributes are already enough to capture people's hearts and attention. But in addition to that, imagining different ways to fill in the gaps and weave together a fully-realized character who would fit those canon attributes/actions is a fun and interesting challenge! You end up with a lot of different interpretations of the same characters, each one as canon-compliant and plausible and compelling and fascinating as the next. I think that that's fun! I think that that's a really cool multimedia way for a character to exist in fandom, and also in my brain! I don't expect everyone to want to enjoy characters that way, but there's nothing wrong with it.

It's fine if not everyone likes Shin or has the patience to try to figure her out like a puzzle, but sometimes the way people criticize her is unnecessarily harsh and silly. We obviously don't know her full story yet! There is a lot very obviously going on with her and Baylan that the show just hasn't had the time/priority to reveal to us yet. Shows like Star Wars The Clone Wars and Star Wars Rebels took plenty of time to get around to fleshing out some of their side characters, so I think people are being way too hard on Shin.

[geekthefreakout]

So, I've been having this thought.

Crowley, perhaps post-bookshop divorce, is sitting in a pub or a coffee shop and the server calls his name, but they say it wrong.

They pronounce it like with the "ow" sound, like in Supernatural. And Crowley, mildly miffed, is like "where did you get that from?"

And the server is a Supernatural fan and explains that there's a demon named Crowley-like-owl-not-crow who helps stop the apocalypse.

And Crowley is like "imagine that. That's weird. Say more."

And the server explains a bit. How SPN!Crowley is this demon who is aware that should the big fight happen, he won't be counted among the winners regardless of which way it goes, and he just wants the world to keep on as it is, so he joins forces with the Winchesters and their renegade angel to stop it. He becomes King of Hell after to fill the power vacuum (and here GO!Crowley gives a bitter scoff) and he is both a villain and a hero and sometimes neither of those things.

Crowley inquires more about the angel, Castiel, and the server enthusiastically describes him. They remark that Crowley(spn) and Castiel have a fun dynamic, because they hate each other but also have to work together, because they're in love.

Crowley looks dumbfounded, and of course the server can't know why, but they do clarify that they are in love with Dean, not each other. Dean being a stand-in for humanity, of course, which is how the show runners wanted you to see it.

"But then at the end they FINALLY let Cas be all the way gay for Dean. Like, a decade of subtext and queer baiting denial, and FINALLY with 2 episodes left in the whole show, they let Cas tell Dean that he cares about humanity because he cares about Dean. Like, he actually gets to tell him he's in love with him."

A pause.

"Well, and then he gets sucked directly to Turbo Hell, so. That sucked. It went canon in THE most homophobic way possible, which is kind of on brand for the show--"

"Turbo hell?????? What is that, the tenth circle?"

"Oh, the place that angels and demons go when they die. The Empty. They don't get an afterlife, they just sleep forever and dream about the bad stuff. It's pretty awful, but Cas gets rescued from their off screen by the end so at least that's something-"

"What about the demon?"

"Oh, Crowley-like-owl? He got killed off for good at the end of season 12."

Crowley-like-crow stares through his sunglasses and the server elaborates again. For some reason, they haven't been called to other tables for anything the entire time they've been speaking.

"It was a good death, I think. He died to save the boys and trap Lucifer in another dimension- it's complicated. But he got to say that he actually hated being King of Hell, and he hated Lucifer, and he got to go out on a good deed. I think the actor was tired of the writers playing around with the character's arc. Walking back development, never committing to what they wanted to do with him... And that led to Crowley being kinda inconsistent and underappreciated. So he asked to be killed off and he walked away from the show."

"Huh. Shame, that."

"Yeah, everyone missed him. There are some characters that I REALLY wish he'd gotten to meet. And I also wish that he got a little more love."

"He was a demon. Love's not exactly in their repertoire."

"It's not supposed to be. It was, though. Cas practically invented free will because he loved Dean. And I guess Crowley also didn't fit into the mold God had set for him, either."

"I suppose God's Plan is... Ineffable in the show."

"I mean. Kinda at first? But the last season God is fully the bad guy."

"WHAT??"

Anyway, Crowley watches Supernatural and has no idea if he hates it or not. He probably does. But somehow, Crowley-like-owl and Castiel and their often unappreciative charges make his heart ache. He deliberately notes all the ways that Castiel is nothing like Aziraphale, thank you very much. He supposes he's glad that Adam never turned either of them into action figures.

He watches and he tries not to wish Aziraphale was watching with him.

[kiddstellas]

I’m going to slightly disagree with anon about the Fire fandom being obsessed with biological children but I see where they are coming from. I do agree with people wishing Brett was pregnant before leaving so “they could finally be a family” was weird. That would’ve been so strange in my opinion. They just adopted Julia. She’s like 8 months old. They don’t need another baby right now. I also don’t like the idea that only a biological baby will complete Brettseys family. Feels icky, especially knowing that Brett herself is adopted. It gives the vibe that an adopted child can never be as loved as a biological child.

But, I don’t think it’s right to say we prefer biological children over adopted. With Stellaride, yes we want them to have a baby. But keep in mind that of the 4(?) main characters that have gotten pregnant, 3 were miscarriages across all of One Chicago. Natalie was the only one who had a successful pregnancy and she was pregnant before the show started. I just want one main couple in One Chicago to have a successful pregnancy because their track record is awful right now. If One Chicago had a better track record, I wouldn’t care if Stellaride adopted or if they had a biological baby. I’d be fine with either because they’d be terrific parents either way. I could personally see them fostering an older troubled teenager who they both can relate to.

Also, I think it’s just a very interesting storyline for Stella to be pregnant and then come back to work. Because that happens in real life. Women in the fire industry, even a firefighter, get pregnant, give birth, and still come back to work. It would be very interesting to see Stella being temporarily stepping down as Lieutenant, how she and Severide deal with the pregnancy, and how Stella deals with the aftermath of becoming a firefighter again after having given birth. I think it would be an interesting arc for Stellaride.

I don't interact much with fandom anymore so I'm not sure what was going on before the ep aired but the narrative that a family is only "complete" with a biological child or that an adoption should be last resort is disgusting. Yes, there are many problems with adoption as it's conducted in most countries but that's also due this whole narrative in the first place. And as you said, Brett was adopted. Julia is her child. Matt agreed to that when he asked her to marry him. That should've been the end of the story. It's a good send off. Just take the win and leave it at that. We all know how One Chicago exits can be controversial and badly executed so this one (and again I'm not a fan of them so this isn't biased in any way) is a great one.

As you pointed out and I've said before, I don't trust One Chicago writers with pregnancies storylines. I'll admit that I'm scared if that's the direction they'll go with Stellaride. Would I love to see them have a family? Yes. Would I love to see them tackle a woman in a male dominant career be a mother and still kill at her job after birth? Absolutely!!

Personally, I don't think Stella is there? With Gallo leaving she's building her team again. I think I'm also a bit against it right now because of how much drama plots they've given them lately with both Miranda's and Taylor's absences. I hate both (which is the same) reasons they've given. It's super out of character for either Stella or Kelly to go radio silent on the other. It's even more out of character for Stella to be this distrustful of Kelly after EVERYTHING they've been through, after how much Stella suffered from her last relationship. It doesn't add up. But since that was their way to explain the actors time off, it'd be super quick to throw a baby in the mix. A couple who didn't know whether the other would return home wouldn't in their right mind decide to have a baby. I'd prefer for them to build their trust and relationship back up before getting to that.

But after that, I'd love to see them form a family in any shape or form. I think it's important to show a female firefighter tackle all of that as you pointed out, specially as she's the only one in the show. We had Dawson and she stepped down as a paramedic right before the miscarriage if I'm not mistaken.

In my opinion, I believe Kelly would be far more ready to have a family and a baby than Stella. The man almost had one with his gay best friend like he wants it, it's clear and he's meant to be a dad and heal and break all the generational traumas his dad passed on to him.

[angelcactus]

I posted 541 times in 2022

That's 541 more posts than 2021!

326 posts created (60%)

215 posts reblogged (40%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@itsdaifuku

@0o-starboy-o0

@verrverii

@annahhopee

@darlin-collins

I tagged 388 of my posts in 2022

Only 28% of my posts had no tags

#redacted asmr - 314 posts

#redacted audio - 265 posts

#redacted david - 99 posts

#redactedasmr - 78 posts

#redacted angel - 77 posts

#redacted darlin - 46 posts

#redacted anons <3 - 45 posts

#redacted sweetheart - 42 posts

#redacted sam - 40 posts

#redacted asher - 39 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i get to go to my grandparents house and listen to them talk about how fat ive gotten and how much they hate gay people and minorities:)))

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

THE PACK DOING PULL UPS OR SIT UPS AND THEIR MATES GIVING THEM A KISS FOR EVERY REP

463 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

#4

Redacted actor aus are so fun so here's my rendition. :}

Every couple is real, for example Milo and sweetheart, Damien and huxley, Elliott and sunshine

Vega and Caelum are brothers and vega is actually Australian, caelum isnt.

Ivan has told interviewers that after filming possessed Ivan he cried as he felt awful for being mean to his listener (oh yeah both of his listeners are his partners)

Marie is Milos actual mom and she comes on set sometimes and brings food, shits good as fuck

In every interview with the freelancer series, shaw pack and solaire clan when asked what was the hardest thing to film was everyone responded with the inversion

Huxley is actually very smart, it scares damien sometimes

Lasko is the quietest person on set which is strange considering his character has almost if not more lines than gavin

Sweetheart will just start dancing in the middle of filming when the camera isn't on them, it makes Milo laugh everytime so they have to refilm it

Aggro is Milos real cat, his real name is Pudding Cup. He's fun to film with but he's stubborn and just does what he wants

In the episode where David and Angel meet you can see caelum in the background as a small Easter egg

Geordi's episodes take the longest to edit considering he has to act then record his lines from his head

The only person who got truely hurt during the inversion was lovely on accident. An actor who was playing a shade knocked them down too quickly and the wind was knocked out of their chest and they had to stop filming for a moment so they could catch their breath

The startrek quotes Asher claims to spew out aren't scripted, those are real quotes he says

I can't think of anymore and I had so many oh no

499 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

#3

Angel is the type of drunk person to refuse kisses from David bc and I quote "my boyfriend can kick your ass don't kiss me please" and David is just sitting there like "...I'm your boyfriend????"

595 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

#2

Angel loosing their voice and David pretending it's the best thing ever. Finally they stopped talking. But in reality he practically babies them, he gets them tea, blankets, endures Minecraft for once. Once they get their voice back and start talking again he practically cries. He missed their voice so much it hurt.

694 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

After finding out that David mains Bowser I contribute this

It's them

824 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[raywritesthings]

Won’t lie, I am incredibly disappointed in Doctor Who’s choice to make Yasmin Finney’s new character be named Rose. The fact that in his post about it RTD defines her as just “another Rose” - like did he really not learn his lesson already?

I don’t care if she’s from a parallel Earth. I don’t care if she’s Rose Temple-Noble, and therefore Donna’s daughter like some people are speculating. I don’t care if it’s just a random fluke (though I doubt that). The fact is, Russell already went down this road in series 3, when he constantly had characters compare Martha negatively to Rose, and in the specials, when he named the Next Doctor/Jackson Lake’s companion Rosita, and had Ten remark “good name”.

Stop. Comparing. Black Women. To. A White Woman.

All people are going to talk about is Rose Tyler, and how this new Rose is like her or not like her, how much they miss the old Rose, how much they hate this new Rose compared to Rose Tyler, why couldn’t the “real” Rose have just come back instead, etc. If she is actually Donna’s daughter as some theorize, then plenty of other fans will just be talking about Donna, and her sad ending, and how her friendship with Rose was so amazing and profound it got through the mindwipe and so on. The point is, they will be talking about two white characters who have already had their time to shine instead of the new Black character, just like in 2007 with Martha’s run. The show had finally gotten to the point where it didn’t need to reference Rose Tyler every five episodes, and now that RTD’s back he’s just swinging the pendulum completely the other way.

Freema did not go through so much racist, sexist abuse for him to just get away with repeating this on another actress. And Yasmin will have it worse, because she is trans. People out there on the internet are already going to be posting or sending disgusting, vile things her way, and reigniting the “Rose Tyler vs New Character/Companion” debate is just going to make it so, so much worse. The fact that in the show’s canon, Rose Tyler treated the only trans woman she ever met (Cassandra, who was an extremely transphobic caricature written by RTD and portrayed by a cis actress) with derision and disgust, calling her “not human” and saying she “would rather die than live like [her]” is either going to embolden some transphobic fans or be desperately swept under the rug by the production team. If I see anyone on tumblr making transphobic or racist commentary about Yasmin Finney, whether blatant or a thinly-veiled dog whistle, I will be blocking on sight.

Some people are speculating that this Rose is going to be the new companion to Fourteen. And as amazing an actress as she is and as awesome as it would be to have a duo of Black actors headline Doctor Who for the first time ever, it would be an awful idea to kick off this brand new era with a companion who shares the same name as a previous one. A lot of folks have said it already, but this obsession with RTD’s first era as showrunner is frankly putting the show’s forward momentum in a chokehold. If people can’t get over the past and enjoy new characters and stories and themes (and they don’t have to enjoy all of them! I certainly haven’t over the years), then the BBC may as well have just canceled the show again. It’s running on the fumes of nostalgia, and David Tennant isn’t going to save the ratings by coming back once a decade. If people refuse to care about any other Doctor, then I say just let the show die.

Yasmin Finney seems genuinely excited to be joining the show and working with RTD, whether it’s for this one 60th anniversary special or for something longer-term is yet to be announced. But she deserved so much better, and Black women and girls both cis and trans deserved so much better, than to be overshadowed by a white, cis woman yet again.

[utilitycaster]

I do agree that expressing the opinion that wishing Laudna would stay dead is neutral but I'm noticing that a few of these takes are coming from people who tend to not talk about her or enjoy her. And as an older person who's been around the block a few times, this is more than a bit irritating as it's a trend that's not uncommon in terms of fandoms preferring mlm and m/f shipping and male characters over female characters. It's something that should be thought about when discussing this.

I want you to understand that this message is very much typed through gritted teeth and that I have turned off anon again for the next while. I am not only more than done with the abuse from people who think that sadness over a fictional character death excuses their behavior; I am done with the people like you, who are wringing their hands and saying "well, there could be fault on both sides", particularly the ones who can't even say it with their whole chest.

I am a queer woman in her 30s. If you are younger than me, you are lecturing the wrong person about How It Used To Be. If you're older than me, you should, frankly, know better than to send something like this.

Here's what you haven't seen from me, and, while I don't know for sure, I suspect a lot of the other people with a significant following who have expressed an interest in Laudna staying dead (incidentally? most of whom are also queer women, because the tumblr fandom skews heavily in that direction): a shitload of anon hate that I, at least, have been IP blocking to great effect.

I've been on Tumblr for roughly a decade in various forms, I've had anon turned on the vast majority of the time, and I've been called a cunt on anon more times in the past four months than I have in that last near-decade, and exclusively in the context of people not liking what I said about Laudna or Imogen and Laudna. I have openly said I don't like FCG or Molly, I repeatedly said Molly should stay dead, and I in fact stated prior to this episode that regardless of my issues with the previous episode that I hoped at least one death (nonspecific, though, cards on the table, of the three who died, Fearne was my favorite), and I've never received anon harassment from the Molly or FCG fans.

I have literally gotten the argument that saying I preferred Fjord to Laudna was sexist. This is idiotic, and dangerously so; sexism is an institution, preferring one male character to one female character is nothing more than a personal preference, and hiding behind a shield of faux oppression because other people have different tastes is abhorrent.

I don't think going into anyone's personal feminist bonafides is going to be productive here, so I will also say that last campaign, I found that fans of Beau who did not ship her with Yasha were frequently vile towards Ashley; more recently, they were pretty awful towards Laura for having Imogen decide to be angry towards Laudna.

This is not coming from a place of feminism or a desire to see female characters or F/F ships. This is an unhinged refusal to accept that other people prefer other characters and actors. And, you know, for a time, I made the same excuses you did - that Keyleth and Marisha received immense volumes of hate in Campaign 1. Here's the thing: Campaign 1 ended five years ago, and even if it was still ongoing, nothing excuses the behavior I have seen very specifically and uniquely relating to a small subset of fans of Marisha's characters.

The kindest interpretation I can have from you is that you truly are only seeing a small portion of what has been going on, and in your deep ignorance thought you were providing a helpful perspective. However, regardless of intent, you were doing anything but.

[gubler-me-up]

Exposed (MGG Request)

Request(s): I got a mgg request! Maybe one where reader and matthew are both part of the cm cast and and while on an interview they��re like asking him about her and he’s like ♥️👄♥. And everyone’s like aww. That made sense?

OMG WAIT ANOTHER MGG REQUEST POPPED IN MY HEAD! How about Mgg and reader reading thirst tweets and they are joking around but matthew kinda starts getting jealous 

A/N: Thanks for the request, anon!! Originally I was going to do these two requests separate but every time I thought of these requests I thought of those YouTube videos where celebs read thirsty tweets so I decided to make it a talk show setting to incorporate the best of both worlds, no hannah montana (that was so lame pls excuse that) hope you enjoy! 

Couple: MGG/Fem!reader

Category: Fluff

Content warning: Thirsty af tweets but that’s about it

Word count: 2.5k

————-

“I don’t interview well,” you said to your makeup artist.

“Just envision the audience naked,” she giggled as she applied your mascara.

“That old trick never works,” you said.

“Okay, how about you pretend you’re on the set of Criminal Minds except it’s a live take in front of a studio audience?” she said.

You placed your hand on your cheek as you put on an over-exaggerated thinking face. She laughed as she finished applying your mascara. You looked at her with a scrunched up nose as you shook your head.

“I don’t know if I can, Sheena,” you said.

“Well, with Matthew by your side during this interview maybe you can,” she said.

“I’d probably choke even harder. I don’t even know what I was thinking when I agreed to be a surprise guest,” you said.

“You were probably thinking how fine Matthew would look in a suit,” she said.

“I get the privilege of seeing him in a suit every day on set,” you giggled.

She laughed along with you. Your giggle-fest was interrupted with the sound of Jimmy Fallon speaking. You both turned your attention to the small tv screen in your dressing room. You grabbed the remote to turn the volume up a little louder to hear what he was saying.

You watched as he gave a little introduction to his guest. Calling him a fan favourite of Criminal Minds and the dorky genius everyone is swooning over. You giggled as you knew Matthew hated so much admiration centred around him but you had a feeling Jimmy knew so as well. He kept on continuously complimenting him before he finally introduced him.

“Please give a warm welcome to your favourite FBI agent and mine, Matthew Gray Gubler,” he announced.

Matthew appeared from the side all smiles as he waved to the audience. He looked a little pink in the face. Probably from all the overflowing compliments Jimmy had given him. Jimmy had every right to gush over him. He looked fine as ever. He was wearing a midnight blue suit with his iconic black converse on. His hair was freshly cut short but his untamed curls didn’t seem to care as they swirled around his head. He had a new thing for rings too, specifically pink rings which only added an extra bit of spice to him.

“You know, I actually don’t think I’m the fan favourite anymore,” he told Jimmy.

Jimmy gave him an over-exaggerated shocked expression. He looked out into the audience before standing up and raising his arms up and down to encourage them to cheer.

“Make some noise if Dr. Spencer Reid is your favourite character,” he said.

Most of the crowd cheered as loud as they could. Matthew awkwardly smiled as he covered his face to hide the fact he was turning a deeper shade of red. Jimmy sat back down and laughed as he pointed out into the audience.

“The audience never lies,” he said.

“You’re right, you’re right, but I personally think we have a great cast filled with amazing actors,” he chuckled.

“Okay, okay, I’ll hear you out. Who’s your favourite character on the show?” Jimmy asked.

“I love Y/N Y/L/N character Andrea Pike. She’s such a fascinating character on the show,” he said.

You couldn’t help crack a smile at the way his voice brightened up when he mentioned your name. He looked overly excited to discuss your character. You felt Sheena nudge you with her elbow. You looked at her to see her smirking at you.

“I think someone has a little crush on you,” she sang.

You smiled as you felt your face heat up. You turned away from her to look back at the tv screen. You knew she would inquire about your feelings for him if she saw the way you looked. You weren’t quite ready to expose how you felt towards him yet.

“Y/N Y/L/N is such a great actress and I was excited when I found out she joined the Criminal Minds cast,” Jimmy said.

“Yeah, it’s great having her on. She’s so much fun to be around and she always lightens the mood,” Matthew said.

“I’d love to have her on the show one day. Do you think she’d ever come on the show?” Jimmy asked.

“Oh, for sure. You’d love her on your show, she’s so funny and entertaining. That’s what I love most about working with her,” he said.

Slight ‘awe’s’ came from the audience which made Matthew and Jimmy burst out laughing. Matthew looked towards the audience with a sheepish look on his face as he tried to reduce his bright grin. He didn’t have the chance to regain his composure as the band started playing a rendition of ‘Lady in Red.’

He placed both of his hands on his face as he leaned back in his chair trying to hide his embarrassment. Jimmy, of course, was having a blast watching Matthew squirm. Matthew slid his hands down from his face to show his flustered expression to the audience.

“Okay, okay, we’ll give you a break. Anyway, other than Y/N, what else is your favourite thing about working with the Criminal Minds crew?” Jimmy asked.

You watched as they talked about the show. You couldn’t take your eyes off of Matthew as he laughed and talked. His smile could brighten any room and his soft eyes could just melt you into a puddle. You watched the whole thing up until the commercial break. When it went to commercial you didn’t even realize you were still spaced out looking at the screen until Sheena nudged you.

“Girl, it’s your time to position yourself,” Sheena said.

“Oh, right,” you said as you jumped out of your chair.

“Lost in Gublerland huh?” She giggled.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said as you walked towards the door.

You took one step out of the makeup room door before you froze. You turned around to look back at Sheena with an awkward smile. She immediately knew what you were about to ask and giggled.

“Stage right, hun,” she said.

You smiled. “Thank you.”

By the time you reached stage right, the show had come back from a commercial break. You stood there as you watched Jimmy explain to Matthew and the audience the activity he had planned for them. It was called “Need Some Water?” The concept was Matthew and you would read thirst tweets and whenever you thought the tweet was overly thirsty you take a sip of water.

Matthew had no idea he was going to be playing with you though. Jimmy handed him a deck of tweets he had printed and had a separate deck in his hand. He handed him a water bottle. He could barely contain his smile as he saw you standing, waiting for your cue to go on stage.

“We’ve actually gotten another guest to participate in “Need Some Water?” Everyone, please give a warm welcome to Y/N Y/L/N,” Jimmy announced.

Matthew’s head shot over to you as you walked out, waving to the audience with a big smile on. You looked at him and his face was nearly on the floor. He immediately stood up with his arms outstretched for you to come into. It was a magnetic connection instantly as you walked over to him and embraced him in a hug. You knew you shouldn’t hold him too long or else people would talk but the warmth of his arms and the scent of his cologne had you enraptured.

He let go of you slowly but without looking you in the eyes to give you a quick smile. You instantly smiled back. He directed you to your seat with a gesture of his hand and you followed the direction it was pointing at. You both sat down with goofy smiles splattered on your faces.

“Thanks for joining us, Y/N,” Jimmy said.

“Thanks for having me. I’m very excited to read what people say about me,” you said.

He chuckled as he handed you a bottle of water and the deck of tweets. Matthew took them from him to hand to you. He was such a gentleman. You took them from his hands and couldn’t help to feel butterflies fluttering inside your gut.

“You might find a few tweets from Matthew in your deck,” he joked.

“He might find a few of mine in his deck actually,” you joked.

You heard everyone in the audience go “ooo” and knew you sparked something again. You laughed as you looked at Matthew who looked down at his deck, shaking his head trying not to laugh. He wasn’t doing a good job of hiding it. Jimmy was having the time of his life cackling at your joke.

“Okay, okay, let’s start. Matthew, go,” Jimmy said.

Matthew turned over the first card and immediately opened his bottle of water. He took a long sip of his water so you knew it was a ridiculously thirsty tweet. Everyone laughed as he finished drinking his water before he even started to read the tweet.

“I would let Matthew Gray Gubler break my back in bed like a glow stick,” he read trying his best not to laugh too much.

You and everyone else freely laughed at the tweet. You excitedly turned over your deck to read your tweet. You covered your mouth trying to conceal your laugh.

“Y/N Y/L/N could just stare at me for a second too long and I would get pregnant,” you read.

“I think valid points were made. I’m currently pregnant with Y/N’s baby as well,” Matthew joked.

“Ugh, I hope it’s an Aries baby,” you joked.

“I dibs on being the Godfather,” Jimmy said.

Everyone laughed before Matthew went back to looking at the tweets in his deck. He chuckled to himself as he read it in his head. He looked up at the audience before bursting out laughing.

“If Matthew Gray Gubler took me out on a date and told me to pay for the bill, I would simply run my bank card deeper into the negatives for that man,” he read.

You laughed. “That’s a true fan.”

You looked at your deck and giggled. You opened up your water and took a long sip because the tweet was extremely thirsty. You saw out of the corner of your eye Matthew was watching you sip your water but he tried to gaze at the tweet in your hand. You didn’t leave him hanging for too long. You cleared your throat before reading it.

“If Y/N Y/L/N ever put an ad on craigslist asking if anyone had a dog up for sale, I’d tell her yes and meet her at her doorstep on all fours ruffing,” you read.

Matthew covered his mouth trying not to laugh too hard. Everyone else in the audience and Jimmy freely laughed. You felt your face get hot from all the laughing you were doing but also the fact you had serious admirers out there.

Matthew cleared his throat before reading his. “Maybe if I pretend to be a bird outside Matthew Gray Gubler’s window long enough he’ll open his window to let me in.”

You laughed. “These pretending to be animal tweets are too wild.”

“Do you have more like that?” Matthew asked.

You looked down at your pile. “No, this one’s actually kinda cute. If I knew Y/N Y/L/N I would love her forever and never let her go. Duh.”

Everyone in the audience ‘awed’ but you noticed Matthew was quite silent at your tweet. You looked at him and noticed he seemed a bit bothered by the tweet. He smiled politely but he wasn’t as energetic as he was before.

“Read yours,” you encouraged.

“Matthew Gray Gubler, please for the love of God, leak your nudes already,” he chuckled.

He took a long sip of his water. You giggled as you looked at your next tweet. You laughed loudly as you read it. Matthew turned to you in curiosity as to what made you so giddy.

“If someone doesn’t kiss Y/N Y/L/N already, I will. I will gladly volunteer and do it forever,” you said.

Everyone had a mix of ‘awe’s’ and laughs except for Matthew who was kind of stoned face. He still smiled politely for the camera but you knew something was wrong. You took a sip of your water as you tried to figure out what expression he was giving off. Was it possibly jealousy?

“That’ll be it for “Need Some Water?” Give a big round of applause to Matthew Gray Gubler and Y/N Y/L/N for coming on the show,” Jimmy said as he stood up to clap for you two.

You both waved at the audience with big grins before getting up to say your goodbye’s to Jimmy. He gave you both big hugs and started to ramble on about how much he appreciated you taking the time to come on the show. He also gushed about being a big fan of Criminal Minds which was always touching to hear.

Once the two of you finally exited the show stage, you grabbed and held onto Matthew’s arm as you two walked. He looked at you with a small smile with quizzical eyebrows trying to figure out what you were doing. You narrowed your eyes at him to look through his nonchalant expression.

“Is someone jealous?” You asked.

“Me? Jealous of tweets? No,” he said as he shook his head.

“I know I’m not a real profiler, but I know jealousy from a mile away,” you said.

“Is that so?” He asked.

You nodded your head. “Of course. You don’t have to be jealous of fans though.”

“I’m jealous they have more guts to tell you they want to be with you more than I do,” he said.

You stopped dead in your tracks. He stopped as well to turn back and look at your floored face. You think that was the closest Matthew had ever been to saying how he truly felt about you.

“You want to be with me? Like for real, for real?” You asked.

He chuckled as he awkwardly looked down at his shoes. He soon looked back up at you with a smile as he nodded his head.

“Yeah,” he softly said.

You pulled his arm towards you and leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek. He looked at you with a soft smile before leaning in to you and you received the message. You pecked each other on the lips quickly before parting as if nothing happened.

“You don’t have to be jealous of thirst tweets. I’d rather the real thing,” you said.

He chuckled. “How about I take you on a real date? Next Saturday sound good to you?”

You smiled wide. “Any day with you would be good to me.”

He smiled. “Great. I’ll text you tonight. See you soon, Y/N.”

“You too.”

You waved goodbye to each other. You stood there as you watched him walk away. To think a talk show would actually make him confess his feelings for you. Maybe you should have agreed to do talk shows with him way earlier if that would have been the result. You weren’t mad about it though because you finally got to be with the man you’ve been thirsting over for months.

—–

Tagged: @shadyladyperfection, @slutforthegubes, @pinkdiamond1016, @spencerreidsthings, @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto, @slutforsr @bxtchboy69, @fallinallinmendes @haihappen5 @mgg-theprettiestboy @siltuz-png @ptrs-prkrs @tclaerh @agentadhd @alexmarie29 @closetedreidstan @mac99martin @blxckhearthood @jesspavlik0vsky @katexrichardson @keniaasf @reidbuck @corishirogane3 @thegoddamncrazycatlady @keniaasf @pastelbabygirl19 @shadybagelsludgecolor @bootycrackraisinjuice @vintagebeauty1496 @bluerose512

MASTERLIST

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

Every Emma Woodhouse Ranked and Rated

With all my reviews of all the period-set adaptations now finished, I'm beginning my series in which I rate and rank each interpretation of all the principle characters, starting with our girl Emma!

Now I wanna be clear--I am not rating the actresses that played Emma. I am rating how the character was handled in general in each adaptation. The actresses are a factor, but they're not the sole factor, since the writer and director have as much, if not more, to do with how the character ends up in the finished product. So without futher ado, let's rank...

“Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her….

“The real evils indeed of Emma’s situation were the power of having rather too much of her own way, and a disposition to think a little too well of herself; these were the disadvantages that threatened alloy to her many enjoyments.”

NUMBER 5: 1972

Portrayed by: Doran Godwin

Age at time of filming: 28

Clocking in as the oldest actress to play Austen’s famously TWENTY-ONE year old heroine (at the ripe age of 28), Doran Godwin also snags the coveted position as inhabiting the worst portrayal of the character (in my personal estimation) to date.

Just about everything about this interpretation of Emma Woodhouse is bad, from her seemingly automated recital of her lines to her all-too-intense, wide-eyed, hypnotic stare. The 1972 portrayal of Emma highlights all the character’s worst qualities while also failing to convincingly communicate her good qualities, such as her caring nature. The script is equally to blame for the awfulness of this interpretation, adding unnecessarily cruel and condescending lines, including one where she negs Harriet for being sad after Elton’s marriage, and then forces Harriet to come with her to meet the new Mrs. Elton, when Emma in the book did her best to shield Harriet from exactly that kind of situation.

Godwin couldn’t pass for 21 if her life had depended on it, and the worst part is that the script actually states Emma’s age, so she seems like a bit of a crazy spinster, preying on the naïve Harriet. Whether it’s her intent to bathe in Harriet’s blood to keep herself young, or to bake her into a pie is up for debate.

Rating: 1/5 Half-finished portraits

NUMBER 4: 2020

Portrayed by: Anya Taylor Joy

Age at time of filming: 23

I thought long and hard about this. This movie is a modern period drama phenomenon. It’s gotten so many people into Jane Austen and satisfied long-time Austen fans by giving them an interpretation they never dared hope to see. It’s a gorgeous film.

But I don’t like this interpretation of Emma Woodhouse. Though Anya Taylor Joy is one of the youngest actresses to play Emma (only two years older than the character) she’s played with a careful stiffness that perhaps shows us a glimpse of the Lady Catherine she might turn into without swift intervention. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, and this isn’t a commentary on Anya Taylor Joy either—her appearance or her acting ability—but I just don’t like her as Emma. And she’s not the sole problem, she turns in a solid performance, she’s a good actress, but something about this characterization is just off-color to me. Anya Taylor Joy plays a great mean-girl; but I think that’s one of the reasons why they thought she’d be a good choice for this role, and it’s one of the prime reasons I don’t think she wasright for it. Emma is a deeply flawed character and, of course, the biggest turning point in her story comes as a result of a thoughtlessly mean remark to someone who has only ever shown her deference, hospitality and gratitude.

All that said, Emma is not, at her core, a cruel person. Emma has gone all her life thinking condescending things about Miss Bates but it’s only when Frank comes along and validates her less kind commentaries that she actually starts to voice them in search of validation from a peer.

The problem with this in the context of 2020’s Emma Woodhouse is that Frank hardly gets a look-in in this adaptation. Emma’s relationship with him is severely underdeveloped and the actors don’t have enough chemistry to pull it off in the limited time they’re given. The result is that Emma appears to cross a line just to cross it, and it pushes Emma’s character from thoughtless to out-and-out frigid.

Still better than Doran Godwin, since she's identifiably human.

Rating: 2 1/2 / 5 Half-finished portraits

NUMBER 3: 1996 (MIRAMAX)

Portrayed by: Gwyneth Paltrow

Age at time of filming: 24

Despite the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow was an appalling casing choice for Emma Woodhouse (I will be forever salty that they passed over Joely Richardson), and I know there are some who will think me, at best, crazy (sacrilegious, at worst) for ranking 1996’s interpretation of Emma higher than 2020, I actually feel that solidly in the middle is right where this version of the character belongs.

There’s so much wrong with this Emma: she swings from mature to bizarrely infantile at the drop of a hat, much of her script is genuinely tragic, Gwyneth can’t convincingly portray Emma's social naiveté, her accent is overwhelmingly nasal and impossible to listen to, just for starters.

And yet… I don’t hate her. I don’t like her particularly either, but even though much of the dialogue re-working butchered Austen’s prose, there are a lot of things McGrath seems to have gotten right about Emma’s character. Her relationship with Knightley feels comfortable and playful, and, while Emma of the book probably doesn’t really care for Harriet Smith in the spirit of true bosom friendship, I believe she does care about her and wishes to spare her (further) pain. She shows exasperation with Harriet while still being patient with her, which is very much in the spirit of the book. Her concern for Harriet at the ball feels real, and her contrition at Box Hill following Knightley’s rebuke, while not profound, at least feels like contrition and not self-pity.

Perhaps, given the soft-take that the Miramax version is, it shouldn’t be surprising that the biggest faults in characterization rest on awkward writing and the biggest triumphs highlight Emma’s better side. It’s not a very in-depth take on the character, but it at least, is an adequate one.

Rating: 3/5 Half-finished portraits

NUMBER 2: 1996/97 (ITV)

Portrayed by: Kate Beckinsale

Age at time of filming: 23

Those who’ve read my reviews of each adaptation of Emma might be surprised to see ITV’s portrayal of the title character sitting so high on my list. To be frank, it’s a distant second, and she may have stolen the number two spot only because she’s played by Kate Beckinsale and not Gwyneth Paltrow.

In truth, I see a lot of parallels between 1997’s Emma and 2020’s. Both actresses were 23 (or thereabouts) when they played the role, both have extremely childish moments, and both crumple down and burst into tears that don’t feel entirely genuine after Box Hill.

So why is 1997 on the good side of the number 3 spot and 2020 isn’t? I’m not precisely sure. I think it may be because Andrew Davies (and/or Diarmuid Lawrence) at least understood the scale of Emma Woodhouse’s wealth and status. This Emma feels sufficiently self-important, a bit haughty, sure—but she’s also believably naïve. You feel her isolation, you understand her caring relationship with her father, and she’s not as patently rude to Robert Martin compared to the 2020 version (she at least acknowledges his presence when he meets Emma and Harriet in the lane).

Grudging though this favorable placement may be, I can at least acknowledge that Emma herself is the least of my problems with this version, and even though Beckinsale’s acting is a bit sketchy at certain points, she also has some truly great moments, especially her interaction with Robert Martin at the end of the film. This portrayal is consistent, and Emma’s better qualities aren’t overpowered by her negative ones.

Rating: 4/5 Half-finished portraits

Number 1: 2009

Portrayed by: Romola Garai

Age at time of filming: 26

And in a shocking twist—I’m kidding this is neither shocking nor unexpected to anyone who knows me or has read my blog/reviews of the Emma adaptations. Am I totally biased? Probably. I don’t care, this is a completely subjective list. Here, finally—my first and true love as Emma Woodhouse—is Romola Garai. I suppose it’s also not surprising that the first actress I ever saw in the role would still be my favorite a decade on. I just love everything about this interpretation of the character. She rides the very difficult line of being bright, caring and intelligent, while also being completely naïve and lacking in social savvy (in her own age-group at least), coddled, and painfully sure of her own self-importance.

Even though Garai was 25 or 26 at the time (far too old for the character—almost as old as Doran Godwin) her energy and charisma are enough that she’s able to carry it off convincingly. Everything about this Emma screams youth, and when Emma’s child-like social ignorance is her most prominent characteristic, it feels authentic and natural. Equally authentic are her emotions—her love for her family, her dynamic with Knightley, he exasperation, patience, and concern with Harriet. Most of all though, this Emma seems to experience the most maturation in the last quarter of the story. Box Hill really feels like a turning point—not just a chastened young woman, but a true coming-of-age moment. Emma faces a reckoning here that begins a chain reaction culminating in her realization of her feelings for Knightley, and everything from the writing to Garai’s performance conveys the magnitude of this shift in Emma’s life.

This version of the character seems the most… complete to me. Somehow, between Romola Garai’s vibrancy, Sandy Welch’s screenplay and Jim O’Hanlon’s direction, this interpretation takes an extremely divisive character and helps the viewer understand just why everyone in Highbury loves Emma Woodhouse.

Rating: 5/5 Half-finished portraits

~~~~

If you liked this, check out my rankings of Mr. and Mrs. Weston

[butmakeitgayblog]

Just reading your anon replies and a thought occurred to me about the issue of "Lexa fans" (read Clarke haters) vs Clexa fans. Maybe (some of the) Clarke haters hate the character because they have difficulties separating Clarke from E.T. and it's a sort of backlash hitting Clarke's character because of the whole Eliza-Bob-Arryn issue. 🤔 Kinda like those weirdos who "ship" ET/ADC irl (ew, rpf 😐) except they're the opposite. Or, here's another convoluted theory about not being able to distinguish characters and actors, maybe it's ET backlash because she and grease boy are totally feeding the icky Bellarke fantasy irl.

And/or rampant biphobia. 🙄

Your thoughts?

I think it's a layered issue that differs from person to person. I think everything you said can play a part for some people.

Truth be told the Clarke-hating issue I think has always been a thing in the fandom, so I tend to not really put too too much weight in the greasyweds fiasco options tho, even if they possibly factor in now.

I think when it comes down to it, you hit it closer to home with A. Biphobia, which is a huge and idiotic fucking problem in the LGBTQ community. Time and again you see people complain about Clarke having past or present relationships with men (as in in the fic she starts out woth someone else and then gets together with Lexa later). People complain about her being written as having children to the point one person even had the audacity to say that they hated the fandom writers who, and I quote, "constantly force Lexa to raise some other guy's kid". Like... what the fuck is that. Truly, infuriatingly gross. That's not how relationships work, that's not how children work. But they cannot stand the fact that Clarke, idk... soiled? sullied? herself? with a man. It's awful especially when you consider the same is never really said of Mom!Lexa or her past relationships, both canon and fic. Like bby you're telling on yourself when you say shit like that.

Anyway, and (this is just my own theory) B. Idolization of Lexa to the point that no one could ever be good enough for her, and Clarke just catches the heat because she's the one who's there. I'm sure if we'd actually gotten to see Costia, some would have eventually hated her too for whatever reason.

The things I hear on repeat that people complain about Clarke are things that actually made her a complex and nuanced character to watch. Yes she was cunning and calculating and plotting, yes she was advantageous, a habitual liar, and willing to sacrifice those around her... but so was Lexa. So. Was. Lexa! That's what drew Lexa to her, she saw all these same elements in herself. Yet Clarke haters seem able to look past or even praise those attributes in Lexa, while condemning Clarke for them. Why? Idolization. Lexa can do no wrong (which is true but be consistent. If you're gonna forgive and accept Lexa's shortcomings keep that same energy for Clarke's faults as well.)

Now these are just theories, I genuinely don't know exactly why she catches so much flack. I really do think it changes from person to person, and probably some people just never liked her character to begin with, Lexa or no Lexa, and it's no deeper than that.

Personally, I love Clarke. She was Lexa's equal and her soulmate, and beyond that she was just badass bitch. I mean look at her

Precious little smartass

Lexa should've just killed all the skairats and kept her baby alive 😌 everything woulda been fine 😌

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

[1/?] Sorry for venting. I just saw some bad takes that gave me a lot of feelings. Personally, JC stresses me out every time he comes on screen, but I don't mind it when JC fans say fan-typical things like how they like JC because he wears purple, or is grumpy, or they think he's hot, or that they ship x*ch*ng because the cql actors have nice jawlines. They're harmless, fun takes, and while I don't agree with some of them, I see where they're coming from

Hello there anon, vent away as that is what my blog is open for as I love/hate on Jiang Cheng as he is in the plot, as well as all of my beef with what has been done to him for the EN side of the fanbase! I am more than fine listening and engaging with the unsavory "unpopular" discussions of his canon behavior and this goes for anyone of course that needs an open play area. I'll try to engage with what you have sent point by point as succinctly as I can.

[2/?] (some of these are obviously crack, and I am a fan of a few problematic faves). But then there are stans that just have to put other characters down to make JC look good. Like, I think some fans take their freedom of interpretation for granted because most of these takes aren't even labeled 'headcanon,' 'ooc,' or 'crack' anymore. Stans feel that their interpretations are valid, and while they are, valid =/= canon, and they're treating these takes as canon, which becomes popular fanon.

I enjoy Jiang Cheng for what he is, however as I had said it took me another reread to get to my stance of him being the negative mirror to Lan Wangji's positive and my comfort with that for the story once I realized what purpose he served. He is only insofar tragic in regards to his circumstances, but it does not absolve him for what he is at his core (no pun, but I can make a very nice metaphor that even with a piece of Wei Wuxian in him he is still forever unable and unwilling to stand by him equally all while stagnating where as Lan Wangji is able to flourish, grow and mature with nothing of import left from Wei Wuxian in a technical sense). As for ships, I am a little dirty Xicheng whore for fun and can say there is a sense of entertainment for me making it work with two people where one is wildly ignorant and the other wildly rabid. But that is outside of what is established as canon in the work and I always try to keep the two strictly separate due to the skew fanon perpetuates.

3/?] And now, it's not clear what part of the fanon references canon JC or the canon events of mdzs. JC is an asshole; I don't like him as a person, but I do think that he's a complex character motivated by many issues (sup, YeeZY), which makes him fascinating to explore. Unfortunately, erasing his culpability also removes his agency. JC should be allowed to be an asshole character who makes his own decisions even if they're the wrong ones. He has made his own tragedy by constantly casting Wei Wuxian as the villain of his life.

Now thanks to you I will be using YeeZY to forever and now to acknowledge Madam Yu (this is your fault for the new tag). From a standing from storytelling I agree that he is complex in the Jianghu for MDZS. Where in the usual political intrigue of Wuxia, he would be the mustache twirling villain that is outright unforgivable in narration, it is by favor of Wei Wuxian's narration that has an early steeping of empathy for him. And he is not meant to be seen as ultimately sympathetic, the work builds up his hate against Wei Wuxian who tries to rationalize it all several times until he is finally unable to. Jiang Cheng is the antithesis to Lan Wangji and the false bait to get attached to in Wei Wuxian's first life. I will make the note their meeting in Yiling is lukewarm between both as they exchange nothing really in terms of conversation and all pleasantries are left in terms of Jiang Yanli for Wei Wuxian. By this point Wei Wuxian has already switched his yearnings of platonically wanting a part of Jiang Cheng's life, to subconscious romantic inclinations about Lan Wangji and the perceived loss of being in the other's life.

The very point of Jiang Cheng as the deconstruction, is that he has no passion in life despite his apparent exploits because he put a shadow to hang over himself as an excuse to say others think he is not good enough. He has no deeper motivations than pure selfishness by the end of the work and is pure frivolity that he has built up losing the meaning of his sect as a tradition. He had his agency (more than anyone I might add in the work due to his social position) that he used to build his reputation as a passive rich sect leader that has little to do with civilian problems.

4/?] And I think a JC, somehow, that realizes that he did something wrong and is working hard to change for the better and gain self-actualization to become that UWU best jiujiu the stans want him to be, who is ready to talk (not yell at) with WWX, apologize to him, and create a better, healthier relationship with him is a much more powerful reconciliation and happy ending than 'everyone is wrong and mean and they all apologize to JC, which magically gets rid of all his issues'.

He is forced out of culpability in reconciliation because simply put, his audience do not like the reality that relationships fray and dissolve with no further resolution other than we as adults both need to move on for safety and good health. It is not acceptable in real life and fiction is allowed to place that also in it's thematic relationships. He has a small, small spark of recognition at the end of the main story, however he himself seems to choose to ignore it, as change is hard and he has never taken to that well as was foreshadowed with his dogs and the idea of sharing a space with Wei Wuxian. To write this is an awful lot of work into his psyche which is not a nice place, he is a terrible being and downplaying that to make a sugar sweet person does not work instantaneously. He is the one responsible for the entire fallout with Wei Wuxian and he hysterically realizes that even as he tries to continue to blame Wei Wuxian.

The issue that I have with his current stan culture, is that they already view him as something he is not. They play at bicycle with all of the other protagonists that have positive traits that they strip as they see fit; Good affirming loving to children adult Lan Wangji, Self-sacrificing ultimately did it all for love and care Wei Wuxian, Hard exterior but softened to who they consider an annoyance Wen Qing, Loyal as partners in their exploits on the field and always have each others back Wen Ning. They even take Jin Guangyao's persona of playing damsel and using that as a positive to soften up Jiang Cheng into something he has never been for anyone for ships.

[5/5] Also, making WWX/WN/LWJ apologize just makes them look better than JC. Like, stans supposedly love JC, so they ahouldn't be lazy and work hard to give him actual character development. Again, I'm sorry for spamming your ask. It just really baffles me about where they get these 'hot' takes (All I'm going to say is that JC was ungrateful, and WN had a reason verbally dismantle him).

They see this, but, they will spin it in any way to excuse Jiang Cheng due to the story itself showing that he was in the wrong to everyone he flung accusations at and his hate. No one but him is at fault for his spite as he had gotten his revenge on the ones that had ruined Lotus Pier and killed his parents. His own resentment pitted him against good and well meaning people that he refused to help as he mimicked his mother's words about raising their heads higher out of goodness instead of keeping low and staying self-centered. There is the underlying criticism of taking individual arrogance as self-care at the cost of others. Each point that Wen Ning makes is exactly what Jiang Cheng himself knows as he hated Wei Wuxian for being something he could not be or even wanted to be. Jiang Cheng wants kindness but does not understand that kindness to others needs to be selfless and accept the hurt that can come with that in life. He encompasses the fall from the path of buddhist lifestyle, "The Three Poisons" to Wangxian's "Without Envy" at the stories end.

[6/5] P.S. I'm not saying I want reconciliation fics, but I just feel that if stans want JC to have a happy ending, then I think that he should actively work for it. I think it would be interesting to see what force of nature would push him through a character development because throwing a therapist at him would result in a murder.

"I'm not saying I want reconciliation fics, but I just feel that if stans want JC to have a happy ending, then I think that he should actively work for it."

They do not think he has to work for it, they say his tragedy is enough, while heaping accusations against Wei Wuxian and saying his own are not enough to absolve him. Something Wei Wuxian has never denied and told all present they are allowed to forever hate him for what he had done in the past, but that they need to find a way to live in a life that is always moving on. He learned that grudges do nothing once they are absolved and it leaves you with hate with nothing else to do with it once that object is gone. In terms of reconciliation, I do not ever think that either want anything other than a distant peaceful out of each other's life set up. Jiang Cheng does not need Wei Wuxian in his life to be satisfied and never has since he used him as the handicap to hide behind to stay angry and miserable. Being without that fallback opens the world far more for him to change than him ever interacting like an old friend with Wei Wuxian ever again, if he ever had the guts to do that.

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Reggie//i can't let you go now that i got it

Request: your last reggie mantle imagine was soooooo cute it was.... BIG FAV i'm still grinning! could you please do one where reader and reggie have been best friends their whole lives? she's super protective and sweet to him and like? she's been in love for years but has been hiding it well?? she gets him to come away with her to college because 'screw this town' and they live together? but eventually she starts going on dates and it makes him realize he's in love with her too?? mutual love confession

hey! so before you go any further trigger warning mentions of abuse, specifically around reggie and his dad. it’s not in detail but it is mentioned a few times so don’t read if that upsets you. the last thing i want you to be is sad. i hope you all have a good day anyway, whether you’re reading this or not! (title is from Børns ‘electric love’)

- For 18 years 

- Reggie Mantle has been the only constant in your life 

- Even when you were babies he was there 

- Your mom’s sat beside each other in baby class, cooing and awing over each other’s kids

- All while 6 month old you stole 6 month old Reggie’s toy

- And then he cried so hard he vomited on not only himself but you as well 

- Which then made you cry even louder 

- And then your mom’s were asked to leave 

- So instead

- It became a weekly thing for your mom to take you to The Mantle’s 

- While her and Mrs Mantle gossiped and drank tea 

- You and Reggie would hit each other with various stuffed toys. 

- As you got older 

- The weekly visits turned into daily ones 

- Especially when you moved three houses away from him

- You and Reggie started to see each other more than your own parents did

- Your mom still went over once a week

- But when she arrived you were always usually there

- Either stood in the kitchen getting a snack 

- Or lying on Reggie’s bed watching an awful movie he just ‘had to show you’ 

- They usually involved a hybrid of two animals

- Sometimes mythical, sometimes not 

- But in all of them they were usually taking over the world

- They also always had the same four actors in

- But despite how much you protested 

- ‘reggie? are you being serious? we watched this one last time.’ 

- ‘no, we watched molemaid last time. this is medusamaid. they’re completely different’ 

- ‘oh, sorry. my mistake’

- You actually secretly loved them 

- Because they made him happy

- You would watch in awe as he laughed at stupid jokes 

- And how his eyes would always light up at a particularly gruesome part, no matter how badly CGI’d it was

- You also listened to the countless of theories as to how ‘hurrik9’ is clearly the prequel to ‘hellhounds’ because ‘they’ve got the same main character! it doesn’t matter if they’re not played by the same person. y/n, they’ve got the same name.’ 

- You also listened to him complain about the inconsistencies between ‘werewombats 1’ and ‘werewombats 2’

- ‘no matter how much the director stands by the decision to make them turn on each other, despite the first film clearly stating that that’s the last thing they’d do.’ 

- But the thing you loved the most about it 

- Was that he was only ever this way with you

- You’d been sworn to secrecy when you walked in on him watching ‘dinocano vs uniquake’ 

- And you promised never to tell anyone about his secret passion

- Or the fact that he had a stack of notebooks filled with plots and mini scripts for his own films. 

- Reggie may have gotten popular

- But to you, he’s still the same Reggie you’ve always known.

- Whose scared of clowns but won’t admit it

- And cried when watching Edward Scissorhands but if anybody asks it was you

- And who hates hot chocolate, but its the only thing he’ll drink when he’s sick 

- He also only eats pink marshmallows in months ending in R

- And white ones every other month 

- But in December he has both...because its Christmas.

- Yeah, you and Reggie are best friends 

- Always have been, always will

- But it doesn’t stop you from wanting more.

- It doesn’t stop the longing looks when you think no one is watching 

- Or the lingering touches whenever he hugs you

- It doesn’t stop your heartbeat picking up whenever he walks into a room

- Or how you forget how to breathe whenever he looks at you

- You look forward to everyday, even if you have a pop quiz or homework you only remembered the night before

- Because he’s going to be there to make you smile

- Even if he isn’t doing it on purpose 

- You look forward to the countless of texts he sends

- No matter how weird or ridiculous 

- Like when he text you at half three in the morning to ask if birds were real because somebody told him they weren’t.

- You then got a text straight afterwards telling you that it would be great idea for a plot

- And you still answer every single one

- No matter how stupid they are 

- It’s really a wonder how you get any sleep with your phone being on loud all the time

- But it’s worth it

- Especially when you get texts like 

- ‘he’s done it again’ 

- Reggie’s relationship with his father complicated to say the least

- You remember when you were younger they used to be best friends 

- Reggie idolized him 

- And you’d have conversations in Reggie’s tree house, about how much he wanted to be just like his dad when he grew up

- But when he did grow up

- And started to develop a personality that didn’t just revolve around football 

- Reggie no longer wanted to be just like his dad 

- He wanted to be the furthest thing from him

- The first time it happened 

- Reggie tried his hardest to hide it from you 

- And for the first time in 8 years 

- You went two days without seeing each other 

- On the third day though 

- You’d had enough 

- So you went round to see him 

- But when you asked his mom if he was in 

- She lied and told you he had just gone out 

- Even though you could clearly see him trying and failing to hide on the stairs

- So you did what any normal friend would do 

- You climbed through his bedroom window 

- With about as much grace and steal as you could muster 

- Which surprisingly, wasn’t a lot

- And you gave him the fright of his life 

- ‘what the hell are you doing here?’ 

- ‘you’re avoiding me’ 

- ‘i’m not. i’ve just been...busy’ 

- ‘doing what? fighting?’ 

- ‘what?’

- ‘your eye’ 

- ‘oh yeah...that’ 

- That was when you knew something was wrong 

- You’ve known Reggie your entire laugh 

- And you know the three things he’ll always boast about 

- Girls, football and fighting 

- ‘what happened?’ 

- When he told you 

- You couldn’t believe what he was saying 

- You wanted to find Marty Mantle and give him a black eye...see how he likes it 

- But Reggie begged you not to do or say anything 

- ‘it’ll only make it worse’ 

- ‘but its wrong. he should be locked up’

- ‘who’s going to believe me?’ 

- ‘me’ 

- ‘see...it was only one time anyway’ 

- So you agreed, reluctantly 

- And you so wanted to believe it

- But then a few weeks later he turned up to school with a bust lip

- A month after that another bruise around his eye that he tried to hide behind sunglasses 

- And by the time graduation rolled around 

- Both of you had lost count of the sunglasses and excuses 

- For three years he’d been trapped in a house with a father who thought hitting was the same as love 

- And a mother who pretended it didn’t happen 

- But now college was round the corner and that meant a chance for both of you

- Or at least thats what you thought

- ‘you didn’t get in?’ 

- ‘i didn’t get in.’ 

- ‘to any of them?’ 

- ‘nope’

- ‘reggi-’

- ‘it’s fine. my dad has always wanted me to work for him. i guess this will make him happy. even if i am the cleaner’ 

- ‘reg-’ 

- ‘please go’

- That summer was the longest one of your life 

- It was even longer that the time Reggie had to get his appendix out and so you couldn’t hang out for a 3 weeks.

- For two and a half months 

- You heard nothing from Reggie 

- You text, called, DM’d and even E-mailed

- But you got nothing 

- You went round at all times of the day to try and talk to him

- And every time Mrs Mantle answered and told you he was either out or busy

- Doing homework was her favourite excuse

- And Reggie has only ever done homework when you were doing the majority of it 

- You even tried climbing in through his window again 

- But he locked it 

- So you watched every morning as he dragged himself into his dad’s car

- Wearing a stiff suit and a miserable expression 

- No matter how hard you tried to get to him before the left 

- How fast you ran or how early you got to his house

- They were always long gone before you managed to get anywhere close to him

- You missed the midnight texts about nothing 

- You missed his stupid jokes 

- You missed watching an entire room light up whenever he walked in

- You missed the way he made you feel, even if he was unaware of it 

- You even missed watching his god-awful movies 

- You just missed him 

- And when he missed your leaving party 

- That was the final straw

- At 7am the next morning 

- You shoved the last of your boxes in the back of your car 

- Said goodbye to your parents 

- And drove away

- Three houses down the street 

- Making sure your parents had gone back inside before stopping 

- You sat outside for a few minutes 

- Trying to think of what to do or say 

- You knew his mom would answer the door

- And that you’d get the same excuses 

- You also knew from the past few experiences that his window would still be locked 

- So you threw rocks at his bedroom window in the hopes that when he’d check to see what it was, he’d leave it unlocked 

- And he did! 

- You watched from behind a bush as he hung his head out the window to look around

- His brow furrowed and hair messy

- Clearly he’d just woke up

- You couldn’t help the smile twitching at your lips 

- You’d missed that face 

- Climbing the window was a lot harder than it used to be 

- Mr Mantle had taken the ladders away 

- Another reason as to why he sucked

- But you managed eventually 

- And you almost died only twice 

- Which is good 

- It’s better than three 

- You landed on the carpet with a loud thud that made him jump half way across the room

- ‘y/n. what the hell are you doing here?’

- ‘it’s moving day. and i must say i’m very disappointed at the lack of preparation on your part. have you even started packing yet?’

- ‘it’s not funny y/n’

- ‘i know. do you see me laughing?’

- ‘i’m being serious y/n. just leave’ 

- ‘no’ 

- ‘what?’

- ‘the last time you told me to leave, i listened and i didn’t see you for two months, so no’ 

- ‘what about college’ 

- ‘what about it?’ 

- ‘it starts in three days’ 

- ‘i know. and if we stand here any longer we’re going to miss it. so get packed and lets go. it’s a nine hour drive and i’m not doing all of that alone’ 

- ‘you know i can’t go’ 

- ‘says who?’ 

- ‘my dad, every single college i applied for and me’ 

- ‘listen to me reggie. you are my best friend, you have been since we were babies. there’s not a part of my life you haven’t been in. do you really think that would stop at college?’ 

- ‘we didn’t spend the summer together’ 

- ‘and it was the worst summer of my life’ 

- ‘same...but that might have been because i was spending 12 hours a day in an office’ 

- ‘rude. but i’ll take it!’ 

- ‘i did miss you though. it was weird not seeing your face everyday’ 

- That makes your cheeks heat up and you have to force the flutter in your chest to go away

- ‘it always cheers me up’ 

- There it goes again and you want to claw at your chest until it’s no longer there 

- Hope is a terrible thing to have when you’ve been in love with your best friend for your entire life

- ‘you always cheer me up’ 

- Oh dear...

- ‘i love you...a-as a friend. this summer has been the longest and most depressing for both of us. i don’t want to live the rest of my life like that. i need you reggie. so please pack your bags, say screw you to your dad and to this town and lets go’ 

- ‘what about money? where am i going to live?’ 

- ‘we’ll figure that out on the way there. just hurry up’ 

- And he did 

- You and Reggie threw the majority of his belongings into any bag you could find

- He took all the money he’d been saving out of the poorly disguised fake plant

- And wrote a nice little note for his parents 

- You also may have added a few choice words to it 

- But what Reggie doesn’t know won’t hurt him 

- And the two of you climbed into your car and never looked back

- The 9 hour car ride was the most fun you’ve ever had 

- It was like you were trying to fit the entire summer you’d lost into those few hours 

- It was filled with off key singing 

- And stories of your summer 

- His favourite being about Archie being tricked into going skinny dipping by himself

- You laughed loudly like nothing had happened 

- And cried silently because everything had 

- Thankfully when you arrived on campus, it was already night 

- So you managed to sneak Reggie into your room

- And when you nervously told your roommate 

- She just grinned at you

- ‘it’s fine, my boyfriend will probably be staying over a lot too’ 

- ‘oh, he’s not my boyfriend’ 

- ‘we’re not together’ 

- ‘...okay’ 

- She said with a knowing smile and you and Reggie shared a look

- And a year filled with adventures started

- Reggie got a job as a bartender with a little help from Veronica 

- And you started your classes 

- But nothing is ever easy 

- At least not when it involves you or Reggie 

- It turns out hiding a whole human is a lot more difficult that you anticipated. 

- It involves Reggie squeezing into your closet 

- And a whole team of people to get him to and from the showers 

- But it was also difficult for another reason

- Because it was easy to hide your feelings from him when you lived in separate house 

- But now you’re sharing a room

- And a bed 

- And every time he would wrap his arms around you 

- And pull in for a half asleep cuddle 

- You’d forget how to breathe 

- You’ve never been more excited to wake up

- Because he’d be all messy hair and parted lips with just a little bit of drool coming out of them that it would be cute instead of gross 

- And when he said good morning in the same deep, tired voice 

- You wanted to live in that feeling forever 

- But then 2nd year rolled around and everything changed 

- It all started when you moved into your own apartment 

- You knew you had to but there was a part of you that hoped you could keep everything the same 

- You found a tiny, two bedroom flat that you could both just about afford 

- Reggie was so happy to have his own room

- ‘i won’t have to sleep next to you and your freezing cold feet anymore’ 

- ‘i’ll just sneak into your bed when your fast asleep and put them on you then instead’ 

- ‘i thought we were supposed to be friends’ 

- It took a few weeks to get used to an empty bed 

- But eventually you started to sleep properly 

- And it was quite nice to have your own space again

- It meant you could study without having to listen to ‘nighthawk nightmare’ 

- Honestly, you don’t really know what the plot of that one is 

- But you’ve still seen it 7 times 

- You may be in love with him but it doesn’t mean he can’t be annoying sometimes 

- And you were happy with going back to admiring from afar

- Your heart can’t get broken that way

- In fact a small part of you thought he felt the same way 

- That one glimmer of hope you felt a year ago

- Came back all of sudden 

- And soon 

- You became aware of the lingering touches 

- And the gifts he’d buy you just because 

- He also asked what you wanted to watch for your movie night 

- And he’s never, ever done that unless you were sad or sick

- And even then, when you broke your arm a few years ago, he chose the film

- The way he looked at you suddenly felt different 

- You would feel him staring, but when you would check he would always be scrolling through his phone 

- And you’re sure the was a little bit of flirtiness in his tone whenever he spoke to you 

- But just because you think you can’t be burnt if you stand far enough away from the fire 

- Doesn’t mean that the sparks can’t jump out and get you anyway 

- Because all of sudden Reggie started bringing girls home 

- And every time you saw a t-shirt that wasn’t yours on the sofa 

- Or a pair of shoes discarded by the door

- You felt yourself die a little

- After a few weeks of this 

- Something in you snapped

- You’d spent the majority of your life pining after some boy who saw you as nothing more than a friend 

- And sometimes a small part of you thought as just an escape route

- So you moped for a few weeks before deciding it was finally time to move on

- Reggie would only ever see you as a friend 

- And that’s fine 

- The only way to move on, is to move on. 

- So you waited for the right guy to move on with 

- And there were a few 

- But none of them were right 

- Until you met Daniel 

- Sweet Daniel with curly brown hair and dimples

- Who studied history 

- And spent his days sitting in the coffee shop on campus

- For a few weeks the two of you spent your short interactions stealing glances and exchanging shy smiles 

- That evolved to small talk with flirty undertones

- Until finally he asked you out 

- And you said yes 

- And you kept saying yes to each date afterwards 

- They were fun too

- He’d take you to museum's and on picnics and at night he’d pick you up and you’d go star gazing 

- He would make you laugh when he’d tell you a joke 

- And make you blush when he’s whisper in your ear while staring up at the sky 

- But he wasn’t him

- And that killed you

- It doesn’t matter how many time he takes you to watch some unknown indie film thats supposed to be the greatest thing ever made

- It has nothing on standing outside the only cinema in town that’s showing ‘sharkcano vs tigerana’ in the freezing cold with Reggie wearing an absolutely ridiculous costumes that Reggie threw together last minute and somehow roped you into wearing too.

- But what hurt even more was watching how Reggie acted around you when you and Daniel started dating 

- He looked hurt whenever he saw the two of you together 

- And you would watch him roll his eyes whenever you mentioned him 

- Until eventually he would just avoid you all together 

- Do you know how hard it is to avoid someone when you’re living in the same 2 bedroom flat that barely gives two foot to yourself? 

- It’s hard 

- But Reggie finds a way 

- Eventually you’re more roommates than friends 

- And you really don’t know how much more you can take 

- You feel like you’re about to break 

- And Daniel can see that too

- So on Friday night he invites you to go drinking with him and his friends instead of staying in and moping 

- ‘bye, i’m going out’ 

- ‘wait’ 

- The speed of which he runs from his room and into the living room where your stood, startles you to say the least 

- ‘what?’

- ‘don’t go out with him.’ 

- ‘why not? what ever george has told you about is a lie. george does that. he once told a bunch of people that you streaked in an old people’s home and almost killed his grandmother’ 

- ‘because he isn’t me’ 

- You’ve dreamt of those words 

- Built them up in your head for years 

- But in all of your daydreams, there’s never been a scenario like this one 

- Not one where you’re about to leave to go on a date with another guy 

- ‘reggie? what are you talking about?’ 

- You need to make sure he’s saying what you think he’s saying 

- Because you can feel yourself hoping again

- And you know if he doesn’t mean what you want him to

- You don’t think you’ll be able to recover

- ‘i love you y/n. you’re my best friend, you always have been, you always will be and i love you.’ 

- ‘reg-’ 

- ‘please tell me you feel the same way’ 

- ‘i-’ 

- In your head you had a full oscar worthy speech planned out just in case this ever happened 

- But now you’re here in the moment. 

- You have no idea what to say

- ‘it doesn’t matter. just leave’ 

- ‘no’ 

- ‘what?’ 

- ‘do you really think i’m going to walk away from you after that? when have i ever walked away from you?’ 

- ‘i-no’

- ‘i love you too by the way. if you care’ 

- ‘shut up...wait really?’ 

- ‘yes i do. i’ve loved you for as long as i can remember so are you going to just stand there or are you going to kiss me?’ 

- ‘i’m definitely going to kiss you’ 

- ‘good’ 

- And he does 

- He’s standing in front of you before you can catch your breath

- His hands reach up to cup your cheeks 

- His lips part as he stares down at you 

- And you’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he’s looking at you

- Like you’re everything good and light in the universe 

- And like he’s also been waiting just as long for this moment 

- Maybe he has 

- Maybe he’s been waiting all his life for this 

- He just didn’t know 

- You feel whatever breath you had left leave your lungs

- His lips are soft against yours, but he gets his point across 

- And you’ve never been happier 

- All the heartache and tears 

- The laughter and stupid jokes 

- The 3am texts 

- The constant worrying 

- The early mornings and late nights 

- The damage to limbs from trying to fit in tiny closets

- And the scrapes on your ankles and bruising on your legs from crawling through his bedroom window 

- They’re all worth it

- ‘are you still going on your date?’ 

- ‘what do you think?’ 

- ‘good. because they’ve just released werewombats 3’

[ramblinganthropologist]

Fictober 2021 (3) - “I’ve waited for this”

Fanfiction

Fandom: Mass Effect (Actor AU)

Summary: Macen Virius was supposed to be breaking things off with his costar. Instead, he’s pretty sure he might have just caught feelings. Damn it, it was just supposed to be a sex thing...

---

There was nothing like the end of a long day of filming to make Macen want to go to fucking sleep.

Every muscle in his body ached as he left the set to change out of his costume. Moments before, he had been in the blown out remains of a battlefield. Post would add the effects, but his hands still ached from holding his prop rifle and clicking the useless trigger button. Honestly, if he had been human, he would have expected an imprint there.

He was going to have to ask his costar about that later…

“Where is he anyway?” Macen’s mandibles twitched as he glanced around. Everyone was heading off, but there was no sign of Mass Effect’s leading man. Usually, he stuck around to talk to his costar – then again, he didn’t see the other ‘Commander Shepard’ either. They must have both taken off early…

He envied that about humans. They got out of costume and makeup way too quickly.

In the end, he too was back in his regular clothes. As he walked, he rubbed his right mandible, trying to get the feeling back. Part of playing Garrus meant that he needed fake implants to imply he’d had half his face blown off. With how numb that mandible got, it certainly felt that way. No doubt about it, he was looking forward to the final season where all he would need is scar tissue. At least he’d be able to move better in that.

A beeping drew his attention to his wrist as he left the set. His omnitool was letting him know he had a message from a certain fake redhead. As humans put it, curiosity killed the cat (don’t ask him, he didn’t even know what a cat was) so he opened it.

Alex Jones: Hey, rehearsal at my place tonight?

Alex Jones: I can get takeout from that levo-dextro place again. You liked their noodles.

He had liked their noodles. What he didn’t like was… well, this.

“You’re getting too attached, Virius. This is just supposed to be about sex.” He shook his head, half considering calling things off so he could have the night to himself. Problem was that his stomach had started to growl at the thought of those noodles. Besides, tomorrow’s shoot was supposed to involve a lot of emotional moments – he needed all the feedback he could get.

With any luck, he’d end the night in his own bed without fucking the human. After all… he was a turian of self-restraint and control. He could totally handle this.

…

Yeah, he was just going to keep telling himself that and hope for the best. Damn sexy human…

---

An hour later, Macen found himself standing in front of his costar’s door, frowning as he stared at the metal. As hard as he tried to talk himself into ending things, doubt still gnawed at his stomach.

He should end things. It never ended well when he got too into somebody.

“He should understand… it’s just sex… he’s my costar, and it’s just sex.” Macen shook his head again, frowning as he started to key in the human’s door code. Alex had given it to him a month prior, mostly so if he was going to be late he could get in.

That probably wasn’t a good sign, but he had elected to ignore it.

The door clicked opened, and he stepped in. Much to his surprise, the sound of upbeat music met him in the hallway. Not only that, but someone was singing to it if his translator was anything to go by. The damn thing was working overtime as he sidled closer to the entrance to the living room, holding his breath as he peaked in.

Lucky for him, Alex’s back was to him. The human had cleared a space in his living room in order to have room for what he was doing then. However, Macen was having a problem processing what “that” was. Well, he knew it was dancing – a somewhat odd version of it – but it was just so… old fashioned.

Also, since when did Alex dance?

“Let’s chase the dreaming light, and I’ll truly be myself…”

Dancing wasn’t the only thing on the menu. Macen’s jaw dropped as he realized the soft, sweet voice he had heard in the hallway was coming from Alex himself as he worked through the song with flowing, easy moves. Something about it was so painstakingly familiar, yet he couldn’t put his finger on it as he stood mutely in the hallway, watching the scene in front of him.

He had to wonder… what did it look like from the front?

“There’s a scene I want to show you. You have to wait for it… so let’s make a promise!”

Alex moved into a different position, holding out his hand to an imaginary audience that Macen couldn’t see as he took a step up. Every one of his moves were precise, even though he was doing nothing more than dancing around his apartment in his socks. Clearly, he had been practicing…

But for what?

“There’s a gentle wind wrapping around me… isn’t it warm?”

Macen knew a bridge when he heard one, and he felt himself holding his breath as he watched. Alex was getting closer to his imaginary audience now, probably for whatever was going to come in the final chorus. Maybe it was because he was so focused on the man that he hadn’t noticed his heart had begun to beat faster, but it thudded all the same.

“They’re overflowing, these endless hearts…” The man suddenly turned on his heel, facing the entry way. “Please carry them to tomorrow!”

And then no more singing happened as the precursor to the final chorus played behind him. He was fixed on the turian standing in his living room, looking rather shocked as if he hadn’t given him the door code. Macen wasn’t doing much better, mind you – he still hadn’t managed to shut his damn mouth.

And people thought they were cool. If only the blogs could see them now.

At least Alex shut the music off as he regained sense. He reached for a towel to dry off his apparently sweaty face, cheeks a slight pink from exercise. Maybe it was the sweat that had made him shine in that moment. For all Macen knew, it had caught the overhead light when he spun around like that.

Meanwhile, his heart wasn’t slowing down. Still…

“Uh… I guess my text didn’t make it.” At least his mandibles were starting to work. “I didn’t miss the noodles yet, did I?”

The human put his towel down as he started towards his phone propped up on a stand. “They’ll be here in 15 last I checked.”

The music started playing on his phone as he frowned. “Damn, I knew I spun the wrong way…”

This caused Macen to cock his head to the side. “Were you recording yourself for social media or something?”

Doubtful; this kind of thing definitely wasn’t in the human’s wheelhouse. After all, he was supposed to be playing Commander Shepard. While the man had some oddities, he probably didn’t dance around like that.

…

Then again, who fucking knew. Dude was weird.

Alex was still checking his phone as he spoke. “No, just recording my practice to see where I need to improve for filming next week.”

Surprisingly, he was grinning as he looked up. “I’ve waiteda for this for a long time, so I want to get it right.”

Something about the way he smiled did awful things to Macen’s stomach. However, the statement set his mind whirring. While he wasn’t a complete Reaper War freak like some of his coworkers, he at least knew enough to be sure something like that hadn’t happened. After all, there’d be videos, right?

Definitely videos, no way Joker would’ve let that slip by.

“Ok, you’re going to have to fill me in on this one… since when did Shepard do a little dance?”

Alex chuckled – again, there went his stomach. “2185, to be exact. The Normandy ran into a rogue AI that accidentally found its way into Shepard’s music collection. They needed to distract it, so he wound up putting on a little show. He disabled the cameras beforehand, but he wrote about it in his journal, so we know it happened. And now I get to do it on TV and make all the people who think he was just a military guy hate me. I’m thrilled.”

Clearly – he was sparkling again, and this time it wasn’t from the sweat. Macen felt his heart beat harder again, and he tried to distract himself by looking towards the door. If those noodles could save his ass, he’d marry them.

Besides, he was supposed to be calling things off with the guy.

Alex was still looking through his phone as he spoke. “It’s been such a long time since I’ve done a dance routine for TV, I was worried I forgot how. I’m definitely a little rough, but it’s better than I thought it would be. Good thing the director let me know early so I could practice a bit more.”

Macen started to open his mouth to ask, but then the memory came to the surface. He knew where he had heard the voice before, and honestly he was surprised he had forgotten about it. Back then, he had secretly loved to watch it.

Secretly, of course, because Citadel Idol Heart was really more of a girl’s show. The popular teen drama about idols competing in a Citadel-wide talent competition in hopes of seeing their dreams come to life had run for a few years, and he had seen every episode. More importantly, he had once crushed on the main character, a blonde idol with blue eyes and the sweetest voice he had ever heard. Whenever she took the stage, he had been unable to look away.

Just like he couldn’t look away now…

“You… I forgot you were on CIH.”

It was now Alex’s turn to blink back surprise as he looked up from his phone. “You watched that?”

“Kind of…” His eyes darted. “Your voice hasn’t changed much. I mean it’s gotten older sounding but I’m glad to know it wasn’t autotune or anything…”

Things had officially gotten awkward. There he was, with the crush from his teenage years… and he was fucking the guy without even knowing it. Life was weird, and it was getting worse by the second. If only teenage him could see him now…

The man’s cheeks turned a light pink at the compliment. “Well, it’s not like I’ve gone on T or anything, so no big surprise there…”

He got up, probably to check for the noodles. “I take it you were part of the Melody fan club then. Unless you were an edge lord and went with Black Rose. Her fan club was the absolute worst and insisted we hated each other, but I was the best man at her damn wedding last year…”

The rest of his statement was drowned out by the opening of a door and the ruffling of a paper bag. At last, the noodles had arrived. Unfortunately, Macen realized he didn’t have much of an appetite. His stomach refused to calm, and his heart still pounded as he sat there, processing everything.

At least the application of a warm box to his mandibles helped.

“Macen, your noodles are going to get cold.”

He blinked and realized Alex was nudging him in the face with his food. That shot him back to reality as he took the box and proffered plastic fork that went with it. The human then settled in next to him – not across! – and started to dig into his own box.

Right… food. And they were supposed to be rehearsing. And he was definitely supposed to be breaking up with his costar.

“I had the pin.”

His comment left silence in his wake. Alex had stopped eating and was giving him a rather incredulous look. This caused Macen to duck his head in lieu of eating noodles. After all, it was hard to do so politely when you had a face like his. Really, he should have sworn them off… but they were just so damn good he couldn’t resist.

Damn humans and their noodles, they were out to get him.

“You had the fan club pin?”

Yep – there went his mandibles, flapping in the breeze. “I was a big fan, ok? What can I say, everyone loves an underdog story… and you maybe… looked good in that one outfit. The orange one…”

Melody in the orange outfit had been taped to his bedroom wall until he left for basic. Hell, it might still be there…

“God, you’re such a nerd.”

Alex was chuckling though as he put his fork down. It was a nice sound, though it did horrible things to Macen’s stomach once more. Thoughts of noodles evaporated as he sat there, taking in the sound of the human’s mirth. He really needed to laugh more often… maybe he should work on making that happen.

“Well… I can’t exactly let a fan down, now can I?”

He stood and crossed the room to the open space he had created. The music was soon queued up to where he had last stopped, and Alex took position once more. The smile on his face made Macen’s heart want to stop as he sat there, a noodle still hanging from his mandible.

“I can take off into the dreaming sky… because I’m not alone.” Alex winked as he moved, following the song. “Wherever it is, I feel like I can go across the distant sky…”

Then the music swelled as it led into the final chorus. Macen forgot how to breathe in that moment as he watched his costar dance and sing along to the ancient song. All he could think of was how much better he had gotten since the days of CIH…

And how much he wanted to kiss him.

“It’s not enough to put into words, so I’m putting it into a song I’m wishing will reach you.” Another smile as Alex twirled, then began his final pose as the song began to wind down. “Beating my heart~”

The last pose, with his head cocked to the side and hands clasped together, held as the music faded. Then there was silence in the living room as Macen struggled to remember how to function. Right then, there was nothing there but Alex and the table in front of him that kept him in place.

Shit.

“It probably needs some work, but I think I’ve got the basics considering it’s only been a couple hours.” Alex landed back on the couch, picking his food back up. “What do you think, Macen? Got anything you noticed?”

Yeah… his heart was still beating like crazy.

“Macen?”

The turian shook his head – probably launching the noodle in the process. At least it didn’t hit the man next to him, so he could thank his lucky stars for that. However, it was hard to think then as so many feelings and thoughts crashed together.

He was supposed to be calling it off… that was why he came over. This was just supposed to be a sex thing… but every bone in his carapace was telling him to grab the other man and kiss the daylights out of him. They hadn’t even ever kissed outside of sex or prepping for scenes…

What the hell was wrong with him?

“I uh… I don’t know the song, but maybe hold the last pose a bit longer. They might be able to make your eyes light up a bit more.”

Alex nodded at this. “I’ll make a note. Also, don’t you hate cold noodles? Last time you wouldn’t stop complaining when the delivery guy was late…”

Right then, Macen wasn’t sure what he hated or liked as he shoveled the food into his mouth. He just needed something, anything to keep him away from the thoughts currently blooming in his mind.

He knew this path – he hated it. It never ended well. And long ago he had told himself he was never going to walk down it again if he had any sense in his head. This was nothing more than a rehash on an old teenage crush… he could overpower it.

“We need our energy to practice.” He slurped down the last noodle, glad that none were sticking to his face this time. “Tomorrow’s going to be hell if we’re not ready.”

At least his costar nodded as he worked to finish his dinner. “Tell me about it, I have a damn imprint on my trigger finger from that damn gun…”

Well, at least on the bright side that question got answered. It did nothing to quell the bubbling feelings Macen was trying so desperately to beat down, but at least his curiosity was sated for the moment. Maybe that would get him through filming.

One thing was for sure… he was fucked. No way about it – he was just plain fucked. The universe was laughing at him, and he only had himself to blame. All he could do was hope he could hold back and wait for the feelings to pass.

If they didn’t… see the previous statement for clarification. Fuck… he was supposed to be a turian sharpshooter, not a lovesick puppy. He didn’t sign up for this.

[doux-amer]

Okay, so I no longer have the energy to discuss Marvel stuff at length, but I enjoyed Black Widow, to my surprise. I went in with low expectations, but it ended up being solid. Was it a groundbreaking movie? No. But I’d rank it as one of the best MCU films and it felt like a nice change of pace from your standard MCU fare. The film avoided prioritizing action over character arcs and didn't interrupt the story with unnecessary and often distracting humor.  It's become increasingly obvious over recent years just how much the MCU has started to suffer from what made it unique and innovative in the first place—an interconnected cinematic universe. Everything feels like it's a stepping stone to some big event (hah, in that way, it's emulating the comics well), with characters's stories hastily and sloppily pushed aside for The Main Team Event TM. 

And that's why Black Widow worked. It didn't have world-ending stakes. It wasn't about one Big Bad (the big bad in this story, much like in CA:TWS, is the system which is why the "main boss" didn't have to be impressive and intimidating on his own). The story felt quiet and contemplative in between the action scenes. It was very intimate and the story benefited tremendously from that. What happened in this movie was something that would mean very little to anyone other than the people directly involved and would go unnoticed. 

This isn't something that the whole world will know about and praise her for, and no one treats it as such, both in terms of the characters and the people behind the film. With the exception of a few lines and moments, this film isn't cringeworthy, in-your-face, and ultimately shallow GIRL POWER GIRLBOSS OMG FEMINISM which Captain Marvel and Wonder Woman (and that one stupid as hell scene in IW) both leaned into and imo, were either hindered by or even suffered from. This story is very much one about the patriarchy, misogyny, agency, etc., but it tries to see what the personal ramifications are and how sickening and even banal it all is. It’s about how the world works and treats women, no matter who they are. It’s about how Dreykov, for all his power, is a dime a dozen. The world made it possible for men like Dreykov to exist and do harm. The world goes on without him there, and in the wake of his death and the destruction of the Red Room, his victims still have to deal with all the pain and figure out what they want to do, how they want to do it, and who they want to be afterwards.

Obviously, we also got to see more of Natasha and who she is, what makes her tick, and how her past formed the person she is now. And yes, I dislike Scarjo so I was ready to not care about the movie, but god, I love Natasha and miss her so badly. I ended up unexpectedly crying when the film started and didn't stop until the opening credits ended, not even because something was sad but because that was Natasha! When kid Natasha whipped out her gun and shielded Yelena, I recognized both that skill and heart instantly and it hit me hard. You got that repeatedly throughout the film, and it knits together all the little pieces of Natasha we got throughout the decade. It gives her consistency and strengthens what we already know drives her: her desire to atone and protect and her yearning for a family.

The supporting cast was good too. You could tell they had fun and you could tell they had the acting chops. I get very leery of actors who go over the top in the MCU because almost all the time, it ends up backfiring and undermining their character, but David Harbour had a lot of fun with Alexei and it never bothered me. And I think that's because, behind all of the bombast, there was real emotion behind it that he took seriously and the others did as well. Rachel Weisz...I mean, I don't think I need to say anything more. You expect her to be good and of course she was. And Florence? Yes, this might not be 616 Yelena in many, many ways and I can see how that's upsetting to people (this applies to the Taskmaster as well), but if you see MCU Yelena as her own person, man. Florence overshadows Scarjo which, well, isn't surprising considering her brilliance, but I will say, though, that part of it is because Yelena is a much more energetic character whereas Natasha is more introverted and even a little awkward and shy at times. 

I loved the relationships and they all felt real to me. When they said they were a family? I believed them. When you saw them grapple with what they'd done in the past and what they did to each other and to other people? That felt real too. 

And the action scenes! Wow, did I miss actually good fight choreography after three horrible shows full of goofy af fight scenes that had bad choreography and were terribly shot (the less we talk about Loki, the better, though TFATWS, which probably should have had the slickest shots had by far the worst cinematography). The fights were engaging and you really sensed the urgency and danger in every fight. I felt like Natasha was in danger, that she would get hurt. The hits HURT and you could tell how painful that walloping was (with the exception of the ridiculous scene where Dreykov punched her repeatedly in the face and there was no sign of impact). Everyone felt very human and very easy to break. 

The flow was great and maybe it was slow for some people, but I liked that. I liked that the story took its time to unfold. I liked that you didn't sense any impatience or panic. Everything happened in its own time, but it never dragged for me. There was a great balance between emotional, quiet moments and bursts of action, and neither felt like they undermined the other, a frequent issue I have with MCU works (yet again, one of the best examples and most recent ones is Loki; I hated the fight sequences because they felt so unnecessary and they truly disrupted the flow of things).

Were there things that I wish we got more of or thought could have been tightened up better? Yeah. I wish we got to see more of the Widows, for one thing. I also think it would have been interesting for Natasha to mull over the brainwashing she had versus what Yelena went through; what Yelena went through was much worse and similar to what Bucky went through, but Yelena has the excuse of being a victim with little to no free will whereas Natasha? She was psychologically messed with, but she wasn't being mind controlled. It would've been interesting to see that explored more in depth. I wish we got to see more of the Taskmaster. Etc. etc.

More than anything, though, what left me sad and disappointed after my initial joy and feeling of enjoyment dissipated, was the fact that this came too late. This is a movie that should have come right after CW, and we should have gotten a Black Widow movie right after the Avengers and before TWS or at least after TWS. This is, by far, the most unanimous take and it makes me wonder how everyone at Marvel feels about that, that this is, more than anything, the opinion that's being echoed consistently amongst reviewers and moviegoers alike. And it will never ever ever ever ever fail to piss me off that Markus, McFeely, and the Russos didn't know the Black Widow movie was going to even happen and they ended up offing her. That's a massive decision and I don't know, MAYBE you should have had some more communication! Maybe if that happened, Natasha wouldn't have been fridged (she shouldn't have been in the first place, and one of the things I deeply appreciated about this movie was that it pushed back on the wrongs that male directors and writers have done to her (e.g., Whedon's awful approach to her forced sterilization in AoU, the Russos and M&M saying Clint couldn't die because he had a family as if someone who isn't a parent is less important and less deserving to live and as if Natasha's relationships didn't matter)). Maybe we would have gotten more solo movies with her. We can still get more BW movies, sure, but Natasha herself deserved more. 

And that's why, despite thinking this is one of the best movies of the MCU even if the story itself isn't particularly sensational and not being blown away by it (again, I didn't think it was impressive, but I thought it was very solid), despite being pleasantly surprised by the fact that I enjoyed a MCU movie which is rare for me and walking away with barely anything to be disappointed about let alone upset about, despite thinking that this is the story Natasha deserved and being relieved and happy that this is what she got and this is how she's going to go out, I was still left sad for what could have been and what she deserved. 

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X7

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

They did it! I can’t believe it! They actually killed DeLuca off! I’m so happy right now! As long time readers will know I have never been a Andrew DeLuca fan and I speculated back in the summer that they might be planning to write his character off after it was revealed that the planned finale for Season 16 included an explosion that was supposed to claim the life of one of the characters. I speculated that DeLuca was the most likely candidate with Tom and Jackson being the most likely runners up because I felt that they had gone as far as they could with DeLuca’s character and there wasn’t much left for him to do on the show.

Add that to the fact that the actor who plays DeLuca said a bunch of stuff to the press last year where he spoiled some pretty major plot points and stated that he knew things about where the show was going when he hadn’t even read a single script for the season yet and I was pretty sure his days were numbered. That being said, the show had teased us a bunch of times about firing, killing, or writing off the character during seasons 15 and 16 and they never went through with it so a big part of me was skeptical that they ever would.

But it turns out I was right! His days were numbered and they wound up killing him off in the Mid-Season Premiere! I’m still in shock. It hasn’t really sunk in yet to be honest. This episode honestly made me wish we’d gotten to see the remaining episodes and finale of Season 16 as planned. Based on what we know it looks like the plan was for Richard, Bailey, Meredith, and Carina to stage an intervention, DeLuca was to go away and get treatment and return to the hospital only to die tragically in an explosion.

Season 17 would have opened with the characters finding out about that and mourning his death and I think it would have been interesting to see Meredith navigate that as in the Finale Hayes asked her out and she said yes. It seems likely that if the COVID-19 Pandemic had not hit when it did and shut down production and altered filming for this season we would have seen Meredith and Hayes go out for a drink and start dating.

Seeing Meredith navigate the loss of her ex-boyfriend who she was no longer close to while in the beginning stages of her relationship with Hayes would have been very interesting and I’m sorry we didn’t get to see that. I’m also sorry that due to safety restrictions Meredith and Hayes haven’t had much screen time this season, but it looks like that’s about to change as I’ll get into a bit later.

Back to the episode at hand. I never liked DeLuca as a character and I hated him with Meredith so I’m glad that they killed him off and that we never have to deal with that nonsense again. I’m glad that they caught the human trafficker Opal and took those people down. I was never super invested in that storyline so I’m glad they wrapped that up. I feel so bad for Carina though. She’s a great character and is wonderfully acted by Stefania Spampinato.

My heart broke for her in this episode because while I won’t miss her brother I know that she will and will be absolutely gutted when she finds out that he’s died especially after she worked so hard to get him help and treatment for his Bipolar Disorder. I’m glad she has Maya there to support her.

LOL at Bailey sleeping through the whole damn episode! What did I miss indeed! That poor woman slept through DeLuca getting stabbed, almost dying, not dying, having surgery twice, and then actually dying as well as the other shenanigans going on at the hospital. I loved that she was asleep at Meredith’s bedside especially after they spent a good chunk of Season 16 fighting.

I also feel really bad for Richard in that he’s obviously grateful that DeLuca helped save his life and wanted to help and when Owen turned him down because it wasn’t a good idea for him to scrub in Richard lurked in the background in the OR gallery the whole time to make sure that everything was okay. Plus he can’t talk to Meredith about it right now because she’s in a coma which must be so difficult for him. The extra stress also puts his sobriety at risk and that worries me.

I got to be honest I am struggling to understand Teddy’s point of view this season. She’s being really awful! She’s being cruel to Tom. She was cruel to Owen. I don't know what Teddy expected to have happen. Both Cristina and Amelia walked away from their marriages to Owen and moved on with their lives in large part because they realized Owen was in love with Teddy and always would be.

And then she finally gets what she’s wanted all these years and the minute she realizes Amelia’s baby might be Owen’s and not Link’s she runs back to Tom and has a several months long affair with him and then drops him like a hot potato as soon as she realizes that the baby is Link’s and after Owen finds out about the affair she refuses to talk to Tom for months and then comes crawling back to him and wants to be his friend after Owen makes it clear he wants nothing to do with her. WTF?

I feel bad for Tom. I really like his character. He’s super interesting and complex and he deserves better than someone who treats him like that. Tom is a good man at heart and he treated Teddy like gold and in return she’s done nothing but break his heart and stomp all over him when he’s already down. He deserves someone better. I’ve never been an Owen fan, but honestly Teddy is behaving so horribly I’m on his side on this one.

They had some great scenes in the OR together, but Teddy clearly read too much into it. Every time he gives her a crumb she’s convinced he’s forgiven her and wants to give her a second chance and that’s not it at all. Owen has been clear. He doesn’t forgive her and he doesn’t want to get back together with her. All he wants is to co-parent peacefully and work together as colleagues because he values her skills as a surgeon. That’s it.

It was cute to see Teddy Face Timing with Leo. I’m glad they are finding safe ways to incorporate the kids into the story. Speaking of which, the scene where Amelia and Maggie tell Zola that her Mom has been placed on a vent and she might not come off it was heartbreaking. That kid has grown into her own as an actress and really holds her own in that scene.

Her line about how she didn’t want them to tell Bailey or Ellis yet because they’re too young to understand broke me heart. Zola’s only a few years older than them but she’s old enough to understand the impact of what’s happening in a way that they can’t. And she remembers how hard it was when Derek died. When Cristina left. When Alex left. She doesn’t want to put her siblings though the same thing especially when Alex’s departure is still so fresh for them and they never got a chance to really know their Dad. The fact that Zola can recognize that at such a young age is raw and heart breaking.

We saw Winston and Maggie reconnect this episode which would have been super hot and enjoyable if Meredith hadn’t just been put on a ventilator! The scene where Jackson showed up looking for Maggie was too funny! I loved the scenes with Jackson, Link, and Winston in the backyard having beers! Winston has a great sense of humour and seems to be a calming presence. I like the idea of those three being friends.

Link’s face when he realized that Winston doesn’t know that Maggie and Jackson used to date and are also step-siblings. I’ll be interested to see Winston’s reaction when that comes out. I loved Link’s rant about how worried he was about Meredith and what her declining health and potential death was doing and would do to Amelia. Did anyone else catch that he called Amelia his wife? I’m calling it. They’re foreshadowing an Amelink wedding!

I liked hearing Jackson talk about how Meredith is family and they’re all worried and Winston’s comments about how all they can do is just keeping moving physically and metaphorically. I’m also loving Amelia and Maggie’s wardrobes this season. Their sweaters in this episode were gorgeous! Hats off to the wardrobe department! They’re looking good!

I loved seeing Jo and Hayes work together again because I love their friendship, but to be honest I was expecting more of the friendly teasing and banter of last season where she egged him on about Meredith and they traded barbs. Their scenes in this episode were a lot more intense and agitated. She totally played him with that line about Meredith.

He kept saying no to taking Luna to see her Mom and so Jo made it personal for him. If Meredith asked to see her kids Hayes would never say no and he would move heaven and earth for her. By making that connection Jo got him to agree to her plan. I also love that the reason he kept saying no in the beginning was because of what happened to Meredith.

She went from laughing and joking to being put on a vent and he doesn’t want to run the risk with any other patient and it’s obviously eating him up inside. He misses her. He cares about her and he’s clearly terrified about the possibility of her not waking up. That being said, Jo’s line where she compared Alex leaving her for Izzie because he found out he had kids he didn’t know he had and sending her a heartfelt letter to Hayes spending years watching his wife and the mother of his two boys die of cancer was way out of line. Super not okay. I really think that Jo is going to adopt that baby. I think that’s why they are setting up her interest in OBGYN.

In other news, Nico is still a terrible boyfriend to Levi. I honestly don’t know why Levi puts up with him. Levi really shone in this episode I think. He felt responsible for what happened, but instead of bungling things and making things worse like he might have done in the past he got out of his own way and asked Dr. Khan who was a vascular surgeon in Pakistan prior to immigrating to the U.S. to take his place.

I feel like this episode implies that the Beach is limbo now as I don’t know how else DeLuca could have ended up there as he wasn’t someone who was close to Meredith the way that Derek, George, Richard, and Bailey are. Not sure how I feel about that as I was kind of liking the is it a COVID dream is it the afterlife ambiguity.

Onto next week’s promo! I’m not excited that they appear to be setting up an episode in which the other characters mourn DeLuca’s passing as none of the other characters apart from Carina were really that close to him. They spent the last two seasons establishing that everyone hated his guts, considered him a nuisance, and only put up with him because they had to. So to me the other characters mourning him doesn’t feel authentic or real. It just feels forced.

There are several things I am excited about though. Seeing Maggie’s reaction to his death I think will be interesting. She was visibly upset and ran to his side when Alex beat him up in Season 13 and mourning the loss of your ex-boyfriend who you were no longer close to while being in a committed relationship with someone new I think is an interesting dynamic. She’s kinda standing in for Meredith here because she’s on a vent.

I’d like to see Catherine support Richard and make up for her horrible behaviour last season. And the best thing of all: Hayes!!! In the promo trailer we see Hayes sitting at Meredith’s bedside talking to her about how she needs to fight and how they all need her to fight. Bring it on! It’s about damn time! And Derek’s back and he’s … fishing? I’m excited to see what happens there and if they actually get to talk and have a real conversation this time. It has also been announced that Sarah Drew will be returning for a cameo as Dr. April Kepner this season so I’m excited for that!

Until next time!

[watchinglikeafangirl]

Lovely Writer episode 9 - analysis

Since I need to distract myself from the exam tomorrow, I figured, I would interest you in a new Lovely Writer analysis because oh boy did much happen yesterday... Gene and Nubsib took things next level again, Aoey showed his true colors and thankfully we didn't see very much of the director because I wanna punch him so badly.

Aoey

This whole episode starts with Aoey more or less inviting Gene to spend time with him. I think the tension and uncormfortness Gene feels is well portrayed here. Aoey is in a bar which doesn't seem to have any windows which already makes us feel imprisoned. Even though the color scheme focusses on earth tones, which are normally very calming, all those light bulbs in the background mixed with Aoey's clothes, all in one color only, make this scene even more uncomforting. Aoey seems dangerous only wearing a neutral color because nothing of his personality shines through and we fear he holds back because it's ugly. This whole scenery seems to scream "Gene doesn't want to be here".

Then, Aoey starts to talk and we know why we feel like this. The tension is extremely uncomfortable and I cringed about it - not in a negative way - because I was so scared what Aoey was going to do. This scene underlines one more time that Aoey feels unloved and unworthy of love.

Stop loving Nubsib. Love me. I'm cute too.

It gets more precise when Aoey talks to Mhok and rejects him not because he doesn't like him back but because he hates himself so much. He feels pathetic. He feels worthless. He has very low self-esteem and messes things up to make people hate him. He is his own enemy. Mhok doesn't know what to do, doesn't know how to help him emotionally because Aoey pushes him away. At the same time, Aoey is thankful for Gene not hating him even though Gene has every reason to. Gene is someone he hangs on to, like Gene is his redemption. But Aoey will never reach redemption if he continues to do stuff to convince people otherwise. His character is very dark and lonely and lost.

Gene and Nubsib

They take two next steps this episode. First, they have their first time and second, they tell their parents about the relationship.

First of all, their first time has a weird aftertaste. I believe Gene wanted to do it with Nubsib for some time now but wasn't quite ready and now felt the pressure of "getting it over with" because he thought Nubsib took viagra. It's not like he doesn't love Nubsib or anything, but I feel like he wasn't entirely ready and forced himself a bit. Nubsib, thankfully, felt this vibe too and even asks him about it but there's nothing more he can do than ask and if Gene says he's fine, then Nubsib can only believe him. When Gene discovers Nubsib actually didn't take any viagra, he's a bit shocked. This raises the question in me if he really wanted it. But well, he doesn't exactlu panic about it, so maybe he really was very sure in this moment.

What I definetely didn't see coming was their outing. I thought it would take a while but well, okay, if they are ready, why not? I like the way Gene has changed since he and Nubsib got together. When something is on his mind, he says it. It bothers him their parents don't know about them and he tells Nubsib. They talk about this decision and once Gene is sure, Nubsib just rolls with it reassuring Gene he doesn't have to step out of his comfort zone if he doesn't feel like it.

This dinner was the most awkward dinner I have ever seen and it must've been horrible for Gene and Nubsib to just sit there and listen to the jokes about them being together which already implied it wouldn't be fine if it were true. These jokes last for a few minutes and the mothers talk about the popularity of BLs whilst Gene's father looks very scary. I can literally taste the awkwardness and how uncomfortable they both are.

For these few minutes, when the parents were just joking, I feared Gene wouldn't go through with it because he was usually the kind of guy to back off when such things happened, but not right now.

What if the two of us are really together?

The mood switches from casually joking to extremely serious. This outing and the following make their relationship far more serious and real than before. They don't touch each other like crazy when they are together because it wouldn't've fit with the characters at all. And it's totally right Nubsib only adds an explanation to Gene's question/outing in a verbal way. They still don't touch because they are both overwhelmed by the negative feelings they are faceing. Only when no one says anything, Nubsib takes Gene's hand to comfort both of them and this small touch was all that was needed. They didn't need to hug or even kiss. They also didn't need to make a scene out of it. Them staying in silence hurts even more because it feels so damn realistic. In other BLs, the couple mostly storms off angrily but that's not how you treat your parents. You discuss the matter and talk properly about it or at least give them time to answer no matter what it may be. Here, all of this happens and no one storms off to leave even more awkward silence. It was just as painful as it would be in reality.

BL fans

What makes the dinner even more awkward is the talk between the two mothers about BLs. The way they talk about it makes obvious they like to see it on screen because it's not happening in their real life. They have a distance to it and it's also a huge critic to all those female watchers feteshizing these relationships. They like the kissing and hugging but never reflect on it and ask the question what they would do if they would know someone with any other sexuality than heterosexual. They don't accept it at all when it comes to their sons. What they worshipped is now disgusting and nothing they "can understand". (This sentence "I don't understand it" freaks me out everytime shows pull that because what is there to not understand about love? It just doesn't add up to me what is so not understandable about two people loving and deeply caring about each other.)

Family's reaction

Gene knew his father would not approve because he's a self-hated bisexual and his mother just never raises her voice. In general, the relationship of the parents looks distant. The mother never says anything for her own sake and just exists under the fathers approval. The father loves to have control and now has to learn the hard way gender stereotyping doesn't exist like this any more. Gene can leave the family if he wants to and there's nothing this father can do about it because he doesn't have as much power any more. And also, his sons are not children anymore even though he treats them like they are in order to gain control again.

I want you to go upstairs!

Nubsib lives in a devided and distant family as well. He knew he would not be accepted because like we've seen in the flashbacks and what his dad talked about this episode as well, his parents don't support his choice of being an actor. But he's more worried about Gene because he already went through the phase of not feeling appreciated. Gene didn't. He discovers a new side of his parents and never had such drama with them. After this awful evening, we see the difference between both families nevertheless. Gene's parents cry both on their own but Nubsib's parents sit together on the sofa, symbolizing this unity they always were. They live in a distant world apart from their children. The world of them and Nubsib is disappointed, angry and worried at the same time.

Dad, but Gene and I did nothing wrong.

Cinematography

There are many examples to talk about the beautiful cinematography of Lovely Writer. I will only list the ones which are the most memorable to me.

Like I said above, the bar in the beginning sends out mixed signals of comfort and angst.

In contrast to this, we have Nubsib's bedroom with calm and warm light when he and Gene "take the next step".

The next morning, they brush their teeth in a very bright and white bathroom. Like they reached heaven. It's used to symbolize their happiness and also honesty. Their love is very pure because they mean every word they say and every action they follow.

At the very end, we have both Gene and Nubsib crying in their bedrooms. Gene's bed seems to be huge because he curls up. He is sad and angry but not surprised. He expected things to go down this way. Nubsib in contrast, is filmed through his shelf. This shelf frames him and since it's not a very big one, it makes Nubsib seem extremely small. He is disappointed in his parents, didn't expect things to happen this way and feels like he doesn't belong there. He feels very small on a very big planet.

Conclusion

This episode was overwhelming and the atmosphere switched a lot.

What I realized, especially after the scene between Aoey and Mhok, they all share the same feeling of loneliness. They all feel lonely and seek redemption. Gene and Nubsib found theirs and Aoey pushes his away. They all hate the feeling of loneliness but have gotten so used to it, it made them a bit bitter and feel a certain level of worthlessness. Like redemption would never come. But it did, at least for the main characters, but that doesn't necessarily mean everything is fine now and I like this. Even though they've grown, they are still not untouchable and there's always something that could set them back and make them face a challenge. Mostly, BLs end as soon as they are together and when everything looks like they will last forever. They feel untouchable because "love survives" but here we have a situation which is challenging for both of them and it looks like they are nearly breaking up because of this. Their relationship is not untouchable at all because the outside is also a part of their lives (like it normally is). BLs just tend to forget that but Lovely Writer thankfully doesn't and talks about this which I really like about this new episode.

Anyway, I have to go to bed now...

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About The Mitchells vs. the Machines

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is up there as one of the best installments of the MCU. Sure, the action and CGI sucks, and the season finale could use a bit more polish, but there is so much more of what it does right. It brings up an engaging discussion through Karli; the bromance between Bucky and Sam is incredible; Zemo's surprisingly a riot, and U.S. Agent is a character whose inner psychology is something I would like to study. Plus, the series really dives deep into the themes of race and the realistic hesitance that comes with making a black man Captain America. It's easily an 8/10 series that is worth an in-depth discussion.

But f**k that s**t, because I'm talking about The Mitchells vs. the Machines instead!

I know it might be questionable that reviewing a movie starring a predominantly white family of idiots saving the world instead of the TV series about the powerful journey of a black man taking the mantle of an American icon...but this movie is fun, alright? And yes, I'm going to spoil it to explain how. So if you still have a Netflix account, I highly suggest you check it out when you have time.

Because, random people on the internet who most likely won't read this, this Ordinary Schmuck who writes stories and reviews and draws comics and cartoons is going to explain why The Mitchells vs. the Machines might just be my favorite film of the year (steep contest, I know).

WHAT I LIKE

The Animation: Let's get this out of the way right here and right now: If a single person ever tells you that this movie has awful animation, or the worst animation they have ever seen, just go ahead and assume that person is an idiot. Because holy hot cheese sticks, does this movie look amazing!

Say what you want about most of Sony Pictures Animation's movies, but you have to admit that they nail making a CGI movie looking like it could be in 2D. And The Mitchells vs. The Machines is the peak of that style. Every character in nearly every frame looks like they could work well if the movie was hand-drawn, and I love it. I am addicted to seeing films that look 2D with a 3D makeover because there has to be ten times the amount of effort to get that look just right, what with modeling each character in unique ways to nail that style wherein a hand-drawn film, you could just, well, draw it. Not to mention that the cell-shading and certain hand-drawn elements also add to the aesthetic.

Plus, there is so much attention to details, such as most of Katie's character model being covered in sharpie, or how you can see a hint of Eric and Deborabot 3000's drawn on faces even though their black screens are showing something else. Seriously, you can listen to any criticism this movie gets, but don't you dare let someone get away with telling you that it looks awful. It doesn't. It's incredible, and I SO wish that I could have seen it all on the big screen.

The Comedy: On top of being incredibly well-animated, this movie is also incredibly funny. Like, really funny. I shouldn't be surprised since it's made by the same people responsible for Clone High and The Lego Movie, but yeah, I found myself laughing, chuckling, and snorting with nearly every joke in the film. Not every joke works, to be fair. But because of the fast-paced humor, the bad jokes are almost immediately followed up with better ones soon after. What's even better is that the writers know when to take a break with the humor and let some surprisingly compelling drama take over. And even then, when there are jokes during the dramatic moments, they add sincerity to the scene rather than take anything away. Looking at you, The Amazing World of Gumball...I mean, I love you, but sheesh, you need to learn to let a solemn moment play out.

Anyways, the comedy is hilarious. And while I won't spoil every joke, I will go over some bits that might have gotten to me the most.

Katie Mitchell: Let's just go ahead and add Katie Mitchell to the list of characters I highly relate to on a personal level (which is getting longer by the minute, hot damn). But jokes aside, I really like Katie. Her love and desire to make movies is something I identify with, and her goal to just go to a place where she feels like she belongs is easy to understand. Trust me, if I found out there was a group of weirdos who like the same things I do and enjoy the things I make, I’d be willing to pack everything I have and go to them as fast as possible too. Plus, I feel like a lot of us can relate to a character who lives in a household where people question if our career goal is something we can make a living with. I remember two years ago when I told my aunt that I wanted to make my own animated series, and her reaction is a little too similar to Rick's when Katie showed him her movie. They mean well, but sometimes it's for the best to have a cheerleader rather than a critic, especially if that person is family.

Now, Katie isn't perfect as her enthusiasm can get a little annoying at times, and her desire to leave can be conceived as a little too harsh as well. Still, she's pretty cool and serves her role as a protagonist pretty well...also, if the movie gets a sequel, let's hope she and Jude become cannon by then. GIVE KATIE A GIRLFRIEND, DAMN IT!

Aaron Mitchell: But as great as Katie is, it's this goober that earns the reward for my favorite character. At times it looks like Aaron is nothing more than a source of comedy, but he handles some dramatic moments really well. Partial credit goes to Michael Rianda for that one. Yeah, having a child actor would have made Aaron sound more like a kid, but no other voice could have fit him better than what Michael offers as he comes across as weird but never obnoxious.

Also, let's give the writer points for making a character who is clearly neurodivergent. Yet also refraining from having him be annoying or useless to the rest of the cast. No one ever really disrespects or belittles Aaron and instead chooses to work with him rather than against him. Especially Katie, who forms a solid sibling bond with Aaron as a fellow weirdo. It's genuinely sweet to see, and I loved every minute that the writers showed that just because someone acts on a different wavelength doesn't mean they shouldn't be treated any less because of it. You get that with Katie, a little bit, but I see it much more with Aaron, for some reason. And I love him every minute, so that’s a win.

(Plus, I may or may not have had a dinosaur phase when I was younger, so go ahead and add him to the list of relatable characters too.)

Rick Mitchell: This is probably a character you will either love or hate, and I can see both sides of that argument. Because on the one hand, I really like Rick Mitchell. His motivation is clear and understandable from the first set of home videos with him and Katie, both near the beginning and the end. Sure, he messes up a lot, but he is still a man who cares deeply about his daughter, as well as his entire family. He gets to the point where he would make great sacrifices for all of them, especially Katie. Plus, it's just pleasant seeing a cartoon dad who isn't a complete idiot or overprotective regarding his daughter's love life.

However, there are times when Rick comes across as an irresponsible d**k. When he does things like smash the family's phones without telling them or giving them screwdrivers for "presents," you're either gonna find that funny or you won't. Personally, I enjoy Rick and his antics, and I have no problem with irresponsible cartoon dads. As long as they don't cross the line toward Modern-Peter Griffin territory, I've got no problem with dads like Rick, who I believe has never even got that bad. Still, some people might think differently, and I can't blame them. Because after getting great cartoon dads like Greg Universe, I can understand if some people won't be interested in characters like Rick Mitchell.

Rick’s and Katie’s relationship: Alongside the top-notch animation and gut-busting comedy, Rick and Katie's relationship is what I consider the movie's most essential asset. These two are the main characters of the film, and as such, they develop through each other. And what's crazy is that they have very conflicting goals. Katie wants to escape and be with her people, where Rich just wants one last chance to have a good memory with Katie before she leaves. To do so, they first have to understand each other. Katie has to learn why Rick is so desperate to spend time with her, and Rick has to realize why Katie is, well, Katie. What I love most about it is that they try. These two don't spend the entire movie arguing and being at each other's throats until a sudden "Oh" moment in the end. No, there are actual moments when they genuinely try to understand one another and fix their relationship. It's nice to watch, and I especially love when it cuts to Linda and Aaron celebrating each time Katie and Rick get closer to each other. When recommending this movie, I'd say come for the animation and comedy, stay for the phenomenal relationship building.

Monchi: There are probably people already comparing Monchi to Mater or the Minions due to being a comic relief with nothing else to add...but gosh dangit, do I love this little gentleman. Maybe it's because I'm a dog person, but I find Monchie to be incredibly adorable, and I will fight anybody who disrespects this king of kings. Probably not physically, 'cause I'm a wuss, but I will verbally. So WATCH IT!

“HeLlO. i Am DoG.”: Have I mentioned that this movie is funny?

Rick’s videotapes of him and Katie: And right there. Rick's motivation for everything is set in stone through a solid case of visual storytelling.

PAL: The writers do almost everything they should have with this character. PAL might not have the most creative evil plan in the world, but to me, a villain can have a generic scheme as long as they're funny. Thankfully, PAL is funny. Not only is the idea of a smartphone ruling the planet hilarious in all the right ways, but Olivia Colman delivers such a great cynical energy that the character needs. The way PAL reacts to people explaining why humans are worth living is just the best, and her flopping around in a fit of rage successfully gets to me.

If I had to nitpick, I'd say that I wish PAL had more of a meaningful resolution to her character. The movie builds up that she makes a big deal about Mark dropping her, so it feels weird that neither of them really get any actual closure with each other. I'll get more into that in the dislikes, but I wish PAL had more of a fitting end than just dying after accidentally getting dropped in a glass of water. Other than that, she's a great comedic villain for a comedic movie.

PAL MAX Robots: These guys are the funniest characters in the movie. Half of it is the bits of visual humor, while the other half comes from the solid line delivery from Beck Bennett. Especially with Bennett's and Fred Armisen's Eric and Deborahbot 3000. These two are definitely the comedic highlights, as nearly every line they say is both hilarious and kind of adorable at times. And just like with Monchi, if you dare disrespect these characters, I will fight you. Because they are funny, and I will not hear otherwise.

PAL demonstrating what it’s like to be a phone: Have I mentioned that this movie is funny?

(Don't disrespect your phones, kids. Otherwise, they'll try to take over the world.)

PAL turning off the Wi-Fi: Again, have I mentioned this movie is funny?

“I love the dog. You love the dog. We all love the dog. But at some point, you’re gonna have to eat the dog.”: It's the sick jokes that get to me the most. Everyone booing Rick afterward is just the cherry on top.

Attack of the Furbies: Have I. Mentioned. That this movie. Is funny?

Seriously, if you haven't lost your s**t during every second of this scene, then you never had to deal with the demonic entity that is a Furby. In a way, I commend you. But you also don't get to appreciate the comedic genius of all of this. So I also weirdly feel bad for you.

The Mitchells deciding how to celebrate: You don't have a real family if you spend more time arguing about how to celebrate after saving the world than you do about how to save the world. I don't make the rules. I just abide by them.

The PAL MAX Primes: There's not much to say about them. The PAL MAX primes look and act pretty cool, are brilliantly animated, and raise the stakes while still being funny at times. I love 'em, but I don't have much to analyze with them either.

The origin of the moose: ...I'd make the "I didn't need my heart anyway" joke, but to be honest, it's still shattered after WandaVision.

(For real, though, this is a really effective scene that establishes why Rick makes a big deal with the moose and why he might feel hurt that Katie is willing to disregard it completely)

The Theme of Technology and Social Media: There's a theme about how family is important, and working hard on making things work is worth the effort. But that's a bit too generic for my tastes, so instead, I'm gonna talk about the equally important message this movie has about technology. Because as twisted as she is, PAL makes a great point. The technology we have today helps us in a variety of ways. It's especially useful with sites like YouTube, allowing content creators like Katie to reach out and share their voices. The only issue with technology is how people use it. Take note that the main reason why the Mitchells stand a chance against PAL is by using her own tech against her. Yes, over-relying on all the advancements around us can be dangerous, but if we're smart with how we use them, we can get by just fine. This movie isn't about purging all technology like most robot apocalypse stories are. Instead, it's about using it correctly and not being helpless sheep the second the Wi-Fi gets turned off. Which might just be the most unique thing this movie has going for it story-wise (more on that later).

The Climax: The Mitchells vs. The Machines has everything that I think I climax should have. First off, it utilizes callbacks and jokes that I wouldn't have thought twice on actually coming in handy for how the Mitchells win the day. But showing that Monchi causes the robots to malfunction turns a pretty "eh" joke into a solid case of foreshadowing.

Second, everyone does something. Some characters do more than others, sure, but the fact that every Mitchell, even Monchi, has a hand in beating PAL and her robots is a great sense of writing to me. It shows that you really can't cut anyone from the main cast, as they each add value to how they are essential to the plot. Even Aaron, who arguably does the least in the climax, still manages to be the catalyst to what is easily the best scene in the movie. Speaking of which...

Linda Kicks Ass: By the way, that's the actual name on the soundtrack. I'm not even kidding. Check it.

Anyways, for the most part, Linda seemed like a decent cartoon mom. She's insanely supportive but still has the common sense to keep her foot down, like agreeing with Rick to stay safe in the dino stop the second the apocalypse starts. A pretty fun character, for sure, but nothing too noteworthy...but the second she loses her s**t, Linda Mitchell frickin' SKYROCKETS to the best-cartoon-mom territory! Believe me when I tell you that seeing her slice and dice robots like a middle-aged female Samurai Jack is as awesome as it is hilarious. Does it make sense how she can suddenly do this? No, but at the same time, who gives a s**t about common sense?! Because this moment was epic, and I don't think I'll ever get tired of watching it over and over again.

Rick Learning How to Internet...Again: I consider this the funniest moment in the movie. Trust me, the Furby scene is a close, close, CLOSE, second...but I think this scene was funnier.

The final goodbye: This is what I'm talking about when I say humor adds to the dramatic moments. The Mitchells saying "I love you" in moose is pretty funny, but it's also a sweet moment given that this is absolutely how this family of weirdos would say goodbye to each other. And, yeah, I got a little misty-eyed during this scene. Especially when Rick saw Katie pocketing the moose. That s**t just cuts deep, man.

Alex Hirsch Voices a Character: ...That's it. I look up to Alex Hirsh as everything I want to be as a creator, and the fact that his name is on this movie fills me with joy. He's also a story consultant, so that can also explain why the movie turned out as great as it did...although there are some imperfections.

WHAT I DISLIKE

Katie-vision: What's Katie-vision? Well, throughout the movie, we get to see how Katie views the world as there are these hand-drawn elements that look like effects Katie would add if she was the one who made the movie. At times it can be subtle and cute, like when this little beating heart appears when Katie is talking with Jude and her other friends. It's when the movie is in your face with Katie-vision does it get annoying. Like showing how Katie is lying about being certain she can drive up a vertical ramp or signifying what is the Rick Mitchell Special. Even if you justify that this would be how Katie would edit the movie, it still doesn't change how obnoxious these moments can be. For instance, Monchi is justified to be essential for the plot, but that doesn't mean people won't hate him...I'll still fight them if they do, but that's beside the point.

I can totally accept this being a personal issue, as I'm sure some people enjoy it. As for me, I think Katie-vision works best when used subtly instead of crudely.

The Meme humor: It's something similar here. Because some people like meme humor...but I don't. To me, it just dates your story if you reference memes even once. Now, a show, movie, or book being partially dated is nothing new. We Bare Bears, a series that I love, reference memes, apps, and social media constantly. Yet, the show still has a timeless feel to it as it doesn't rely on those references too much. The Mitchells vs. the Machines doesn't rely on memes as much either. But even then, that doesn't make a difference about how annoying that gibbon monkey joke was. Seriously, what the f**k was that? And how is THAT the joke that gets used twice!?

Underutilizing Mark Bowman: It really bothers me how this guy barely does much. I mean, Mark Bowman is the main reason that anything happens in the movie. Because he mistreated PAL, Mark acts as the catalyst for events to come. So the fact that he could have been written out the second PAL takes control doesn't make sense to me. It's worse since I could see more potential with his character through his relationship with PAL. These two could be anti-Rick and Katie, as Mark and PAL show what happens when people disrespect their family. So separating them halfway through the story, and keeping them as such, is a huge mistake as it results in neither having a proper resolution to their arcs. Like I said, Rick and Katie develop through each other, and the same could have happened with Mark and PAL. It doesn't, making it something that I can't help but feel disappointed about.

The Poseys: These are characters I feel like work better with multiple appearances. Sure, they only have the one joke about being a perfect family, but at the same time, you can make a joke like that work. Look at Yvonne from Shaun of the Dead (Which might just be my favorite movie). That's a bit-character whose only purpose is showing how better she is than Shaun despite being in an eerily similar situation. But she works well as we constantly see how great she's doing in every instance we see her. The same could be done with the Poseys, as using a similar joke for one scene is underutilizing great potential to make an already good movie into a better one.

Plus, if you're gonna shoehorn in a romance between Aaron and Abby Posey, the least you could do is have more than one scene developing that...just saying.

Katie’s and Rick’s “Oh” Moments: I want to make it clear that I actually like these scenes. They're well written and effectively emotional. My problem is that they also happen two seconds apart. There's nothing wrong with having a character realize the error of their ways through a tear-jerking moment. It's a popular tactic for a reason. And given how both Rick and Katie are the protagonists, they both need their own "oh" moment. But you gotta space them out, as it makes things easier to see the emotional manipulation that you're clearly trying to pull on the audience. They work, but putting them back to back is an issue easily solved with at least two minutes of padding, not two seconds.

Katie’s Death Fakeout: This is one of the few instances that a joke doesn't work in the movie, made even more annoying with the fact that I could see the punchline a mile away and kept thinking, "Just get to it already." I'm pretty sure no one bought this, especially when Katie didn't look like she could have gotten killed in any way after throwing PAL. It's poorly handled and proof that even the funniest comedies have a stale joke every now and again.

Nothing New is really being done here: Keep in mind that in terms of style, this movie is incredibly innovative. And here's hoping future animated projects can take notes. But narratively speaking? Yeah, there's nothing really new that this movie is offering.

A story about how technology will be the death of us? Been there.

A story about a group of idiots miraculously saving the world? Done that.

A story about a father forcing their teenager on a road trip so they can spend quality time with each other, thus ruining the teen's chance of hanging out with their girlfriend? Believe it or not, I have seen A Goofy Movie...multiple times...both as a kid and as an adult.

Now, I have no issue with a movie's plot being a bit by-the-books, and in some cases, cliche. If done effectively, and if I still have a good time, I don't think there’s much to complain about. And there isn't with The Mitchells vs. The Machines. The problem lies with that I'll forget this movie along with the dozens of others like it in a couple years. Which might just be the biggest issue any film can have.

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Overall, I'd give The Mitchells vs. the Machines a well-earned A-. It has nitpicks, sure, but it's still a blast to watch. It might not be innovative or groundbreaking as movies like the last Sony Pictures Animation movie, Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse. However, it is fun. And when the world is burning down around us, it's nice to have a fun movie that can distract us from all of it. So feel free to log in to Netflix the next time you're in the mood for a film that is great for the whole family. You won’t be disapointed

(And I will talk about The Falcon and the Winter Soldier pretty soon. I just needed to get this out of my system first.)