#it's at least comforting to know I'm on the track to becoming the artist I wanted to be back then.

[loverdotpng]

nerd emoji (redraw of something from late 2017)

[moviecritc]

Hello! Can I please request a smau with Charles Leclerc and Alexandra with the reader. Like her getting hate online because people think she coming in between them but then they found out that she and Alex were already dating before even they met Charles and he's the one who came into their relationship also could you please make it fluff at the end, thank you <3

✦ ˚ : · YOU WONDER WHY I'M BITTER ⋆ ALEXANDRA SAINT MLEUX, CHARLES LECLERC 🦢

pairing ☆ charles leclerc x singer! reader x alexandra saint mleux

summary ☆ you and alex broke up because she suggested charles to join your relationship, and you're really mad about it

warnings ☆ hate comments (mostly for alex, but it's just for the plot), mixed smau, arguments

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

masterlist | letterboxd

yourusername just posted!

liked by sabrinacarpenter, alexandrasaintmleux and 34,612 others

yourusername MY NEW SONG IS HEREE !!!!!!!1!!!!!1!!!!! Stream Good Luck, Babe! so i can pay my hairdresser and make up artist THANK YOUU 🐽💥🌈💍

view all comments

user1 she's turning into my comfort artist guys

user2 y/n l/n for president 2024

user3 alex in the likes is LOUD

user4 and she's even early wtf girl user5 i'm new someone explain the lore user6 @/alexandrasaintmleux was y/n's gf for like four years, they were high school sweethearts and y/n wrote many songs about her. but four months ago they broke up and alexandra is now dating some formula 1 driver. literally four months later. some people say that she cheated, others that it was friendly, but idk user7 i mean after this song...

user8 ALEXANDRA WHEN I FOUND YOU

user9 'and you're NOTHING MORE THAN HIS WIFE' alexandra you're cooked

user10 FRRR she at least was something when she dated y/n. now she's just another f1 wag

user11 HOW I LOVE MESSY SONGS

user12 WE'RE SO BACK

user13 alexandra should be ashamed of walking in public after this

user14 sis casually making a diss track

f1gossip just posted!

liked by user14, yourusername and 1,459 others

f1gossip Charles Leclerc and Alexandra Saint Mleux out for dinner in Monaco

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user14 girl wtf

user15 they did her so dirty i love it

user16 the difference when she was out with y/n is LOUD

user17 yk i'm starting to think that charles is the problem user18 righ? alex was so comfortable with flashes around y/n and now this? wtf is this man doing user19 i think it was just a bad moment user20 maybe she didn't want to be seen after y/n's song user21 i hate men

user22 NOT Y/N LIKING THIS

user23 she KNOWS it's alex loss

user24 charles your gf is cleary uncomfortable why tf you're smiling

user25 he's probably happy about all the drama bc he's life is boring

user26 this is a pr relationship at a 100%

yourusername just posted a story!

[caption: 10K streams just in the first week OMGGG, thank you thank you thank you. I love you so much guys, thank you for feeding my delusional ass 💥💥]

replies

user27 pop people princess

user28 WE LOVE YOU Y/NNN

user29 please PLEASE come to spain

user30 drop the tour dates nowww

alexandrasaintmleux Can we talk, please? In person, I know that you are in Paris this weekend

Y/N had left Alexandra on read. She hadn't wanted to know anything about her since the proposal to become a throuple with that guy Leclerc, but even though she thought she hated the idea, she found herself looking at the photos Charles posted on his Instagram. He was objectively handsome, she wouldn't lie. Although the fact that he had taken her girlfriend did make him seem like the most horrible person she had ever met. But he was handsome.

Most of his photos were related to his job as a Ferrari driver. She had heard Alex talk about that sport hundreds of times; she should have guessed that she felt somewhat attracted to the most handsome driver on the grid. But there was one photo that really caught her attention; him, in his apartment, shirtless on his stationary bike. She couldn't stop looking at it, she even went into the comments to see what people thought, to make sure it wasn't weird to find him extremely attractive. Then, unintentionally, she liked it. She saw the red heart float on the screen and knew that was her end, she removed the like immediately, praying that no gossip page decided to be watching that post at the same time as her.

But it was already screwed, he was going to see her notification, he was going to tell Alex, and now they would have more reasons to meet. Everything was screwed.

A few minutes later, she received a message from Charles, which left her totally bewildered, but she opened it immediately anyway.

user34 not the censurated name-

user35 makes a lot of sense to me actually

yourusername just posted!

liked by laufey, alexandrasaintmleux and 342,512 others

yourusername Monaco you were LOUUUD !!!! The best city to open the leg of the tour and we had a blast together. Omw to Paris 💋🎸💐

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user31 she's so normal after exposing everything and everyone just in the first date

laufey princess of the princesses liked by author

user32 she's crazy for what she said

user33 now i want a public apology from alexandra and charles

user34 FR i can't believe they made her fell so bad

user35 yk break ups happen, it's not something bad. instead of spreading hate you should just move on girl, it's embarrasing

user36 oh shut up, she's a singer, she does drag. she's going to be dramatic user37 and we're here for it

user38 it has to be marketing bc last night was wild

user39 pretty sure it wasn't

f1gossip just posted!

liked by user1, user22 and 2,491 others

f1gossip Charles Leclerc and his girlfriend recently in Bali

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user40 they went the further they could bc of y/n's concert

user41 you can't convince me they're not pr

user42 0 chemistry

user43 i always see alex with her phone with charles

user44 she must be bored of him

user45 i don't think they even talk to each other

user46 i hate them so much

user47 these y/n's fans are taking f1 and i'm here for it

yourusername just posted on her story!

[caption: favs ✨]

replies

user48 aren't those alex's favourites?

alexandrasaintmleux beautiful pic 💞

[TRANSCRIPTION OF THE CALL BETWEEN ALEXANDRA AND Y/N]

Alex: Hiii. Y/N, listen to me. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I fucked up in every possible way

Y/N: Yeah, you did

Alex: But I love you. You have no idea how much love I have for you, mon chéri. So much that I thought I had to share it with someone else. But I was wrong, so wrong

Y/N: Alex, you're so drunk. You're not thinking clearly

Alex: Listen to me. For once in your life, listen. I fucked up pretty much everything, and you have no idea how much I regret it. I- What are you d-?

[background noises, you hear Alex complain]

Charles: Y/N?

Y/N: Charles? Give the phone back to Alex, for the love of god.

Charles: Y/N, hear me out. Leave my girlfriend the fuck alone. You know I found you really hot at the beginning but you have to stop this shit. I have a fucking reputation out here.

Y/N: Give her phone back, dickhead.

Charles: Move on, bitch. She doesn't want you anymore, and me neither.

part 2

[umlewis]

Lewis Hamilton Wants To Make Music, But First He Wants To Make the World A Better Place

On the heels of a new Marriott Bonvoy partnership, the F1 star talks about creating memorable moments and finding inspiration in music

By our estimates, Lewis Hamilton has traveled more than 80,000 miles this year, both for his job as one of the premiere drivers in Formula 1 and for leisure, as a perpetual tourist who’s always looking for his next adventure. And that’s not counting the 60-plus laps he drives on the track each race day, either. It’s no surprise, then, that Hamilton craves a little bit of stillness when he finds himself alone, and for as long as he can remember Hamilton has found his solace in music. "Music is the biggest part of my life," Hamilton says. "It's the most important thing that keeps me sane." For the F1 champ, making music has become a necessary outlet, a personal space to create that's all his own. It's been nice, he explains, "In a sport where you don't feel like you could fit in, where you know you're different but you can't really talk too much and there's no way to express yourself other than in a car, to then have music and be able to put my feelings out into something." The F1 star spoke to Rolling Stone during the recent Dutch Grand Prix in Zandvoort, where he partnered with Marriott Bonvoy to offer Bonvoy members an exclusive meet-and-greet in the Mercedes-AMG Petronas F1 Team area.

"We are traveling to 24 different places around the world [each year] and I think one of the most difficult things when you are traveling is often missing your home bed," Hamilton says. "I've traveled to cities and been booked at a hotel, walked straight into my room and left," he continues, "so to find the right comfort has been a discovery process." Marriott, the driver says, has "been so accommodating in all these different places that I've been to." Part of that has been finding a menu that caters to the famous vegan's plant-based diet. "Marriott is really, really accommodating. They find things to make you," Hamilton says. Another has been finding space for the driver to make music while on the road. "I carry one suitcase that has my music equipment," Hamilton reveals, "so every time I get to a hotel, I always set up my mic." Hamilton's musical aspirations started at an early age. His father played in a reggae band, which inspired him to pick up a guitar at thirteen. He bought a turntable when he was sixteen, eventually filling in for local DJs at London nightclubs when he was old enough to go out. He wrote his first song, an R&B track called Never Again, when he was 21. After that, "I was hooked."

Lately, Hamilton has been going through waves of inspiration for the type of music he wants to make. He quietly dropped a track with Christina Aguilera for her 2018 album Liberation (under the artist name XNDA), and he name drops everyone from Wizkid to Coldplay and Billie Eilish when asked about favorite artists. Over the last year he's been listening to"“a lot of afro beats," and he enthusiastically nominates Megan Thee Stallion's Mamushi for 2024 "Song of the Summer" honors. "It's sick, I love that song. That's probably the coolest track out there right now," he gushes. When it comes to his own music though, Hamilton admits he's still unsure of what he wants to make - and what he wants to say. "I go through these phases where I'm doing a lot, I'm writing a lot and I'm recording a lot, and really feeling inspired," he says, "and then I go through these periods where I just stop doing it. I do it less and less and less, and then I stop setting my mic up." For someone who's known for his daring overtakes and hairpin turns on the track, does the thought of releasing music scare him? The soft-spoken star demures when asked about his musical endeavors, revealing that he has "no plans on ever giving [the songs] to anybody," at least for now. "I never got into music, to put the music up," he says.

Further complicating things, at least from this perspective, has been Hamilton's incredibly close relationship with his fans. Few drivers are as well-liked as the Brit, and few athletes have given back to their sport the way Hamilton has, whether it's signing autographs at the airport, making frequent public appearances, or doing intimate meet-and-greets with Marriott Bonvoy. He's almost always taking time out for fans at every race weekend, and yet there's a prevailing feeling of resignation when Hamilton talks about the fandom, almost as if he's expecting himself to do more, to say more, to sign more, even if it hasn't been asked of him. "From a driver's perspective, for an individual or group of people to decide to support you out of only twenty [drivers]? It's a real privilege," he says, "and you feel like you're on a journey with those people that you connect with. So when you lose, you lose together, and when you win, you win together." Hamilton tells a story about one of his favorite fan interactions, which isn't really a single instance, but rather a collective memory. "Most fans are so kind to go out of their way. They've either written me a letter, or they're people making bracelets, or people that bring me gifts," he says. "I've got this one really sweet lady, for example, that's traveled to quite a few of the European races, and she keeps turning up and giving me books of poems, and there'll be a book on history, and she would have gone through and put tabs on all the important parts of the book. People are so, so sweet," he continues, "and you feel really bad, because everywhere you go it's like they give, give, give, and you don't. I don't carry around gifts with me, and often I've just come from the airport. So you feel like when someone gives you something, you're supposed to try and give something back, and it always feels like you've not done enough."

Of course, even fairweather fans will tell you Hamilton has done a lot for the sport, breaking barriers as the first-and only-black F1 driver to date, while ushering in a new generation of global superstars, with buzzed-about partnerships with Tommy Hilfiger, Dior, and, yes, Marriott Bonvoy too. Releasing music would elevate him into an even greater stratosphere of stars, and perhaps finally provide him with something tangible to "give back." But Hamilton is also a consummate perfectionist. In his sport races are often decided by mere thousandths of a second, and one tiny error could have your car crashing out. In the same way, he wants to make sure any music he releases can stand on its own, recalling how excited he was when he played his Aguilera duet for friends and they thought it was some "young artist" that had just come out. The whole world knows what Hamilton can do when it comes to F1. If he's going to enter the music industry he wants to be taken just as seriously, to give himself a similar chance to make it to the top. There's still work to be done, Hamilton explains; new sounds to explore, new beats to create, new thoughts to take from pen to tune. So for now, Hamilton is just making music for himself. Maybe he's not ready to release his music to the world just yet, but Hamilton is determined to use his metaphorical microphone to inspire others. As he approaches two decades in the sport, has he started to think about his legacy? "I find legacy talk really awkward, because I don't wake up every day and think of a legacy that I want to leave," he says. "I'm not working towards a legacy. I work towards, ultimately, trying to be the best version of myself, in the hope that the decisions I make, the things I say and the things that I do hopefully have a positive impact on people." I think about what I am going to do with this platform or this microphone that I have, and what I can actually do with the little time that we have on this planet," he continues. And then, he says, "What can I do to leave the world a better place than when I started? I would imagine for all the good people in the world, it's probably what they want to do also, right? That's what I'm thinking about every day."

[greenfinchwriter]

It was a snippet,everyone is freaking out about a snippet of a few lyrics, in a proof of concept/hype teaser, and some outfits that might not be to your personal taste.

Deep breaths now,c'mon,easy does it.

I'm an 80s kid,and the child of two music obsessed people who had a massive vinyl and casette collection + concert keepsakes fastidiously organized and proudly displayed in our den.

Any car trip we went on would devolve into a jam session of some kind sooner or later.

Rockstar Lestat isn't cringe to me - it's comforting!😂🥺🥵

Let us dejected old folks who love this kind of thing have it,please kids.

It's absolutely a taste thing,and that's okay but not everything that isn't to your taste is bad or cringe. It's also fine not the like the glam style or genre they decided on for Lestat,that again is personal taste and preference but the composers and writers are trying, working hard, and have a vision,they are incredibly talented. Last but not least, let's all remember that Rice herself had certain inspirations in mind when writing Rockstar Lestat which were very much of the era. We don't even really know anything about Rockstar Lestat's music yet. If they go with the inspirations they and Rice cited,and add some more for good measure,then he will have RANGE.

Regardless of genre or sub genre,so many of these artists were REAL musicians who could compose, play multiple instruments,perform, and have become deservedly immortal for their music. Imho,almost every track back then had that something that a lot of, if not all, of modern mainstream music is missing. It had grit, it had soul, it felt real and right in your bones. They gave their all on stage,often to exhaustion - long shows that had clothing discarded,barefoot, and voices scratching at the end. Drink? Smoke? Do drugs? Half way in the crowd? Groupies? Fuck yeah! With the greats of the era, 99% of the spectacle was their music,style, and incredible stage presence - even those who had stage effects or props didn't really need them.

From Freddie Mercury playing piano to Bruce Springsteen with his harmonica etc etc etc - the style/genre doesn't really matter because it doesn't get better than just pure talent,chest hair,and a dose of creative madness.

I'm sorry but I think he looked fantastic,hell they toned his style way down - have you seen some of those bands in their stage get ups, and the music videos?! Wait and see if that's what you wanted, you'll never know what's really coming.

All of this is so funny to me. That teaser was both amazing and also so very tame. He didn't even rip the head off of a bat on stage or anything - if that's what you want maybe wait for the actual season,who knows,if Louis and Doc Bhansali can't get him to take his meds he might very well go there🤣 But fr he did look like he stepped out of my memories of that time,that's for sure. Just dressed down,and more little sad meow meow-y. That Big Bird jacket was so cute c'mon😆🤩

Baby needs an intervention,sure,but damn if he doesn't glam that mental illness,rock that personality disorder,and maybe hopefully even metal that grief and bitterness😁

(Please let people look forward to something,even something imperfect or something that isn't to your taste,some of us need it to distract us from real world BS)

[ros3ybabe]

Accountability Buddy Search!

I am currently on the search for an accountability buddy! Someone I can use to keep me on track with my academic goals, life admin goals, language study goals, and whatever specific things I'd want to accomplish! I also would love to help someone else stay accountable with their academic/language/life admin goals!

editing to add: I have found my accountability buddies!!! Thank you to everyone who reached out to me, and I look forward to working with my new accountability buddies! I recommend for everyone who thinks it to be useful to do do themselves, because I can already feel how good this is going to be for me, and hopefully for them too!

Here are some of my goals:

regularly studying spanish/Japanese

regularly completing homework on time

regularly studying for/preparing for exams/quizzes

sticking to my routines consistently

maintaining a healthy, productive balance between school-work-life

regularly meeting my personal goals (reading, joirnaling, working out, etc)

Here are some things about me:

I am a 21 year old female

I am a junior in university, but 2nd year of studying my major

My major is Human Nutrition/Dietetics, and I am also minoring in Psychology and Exercise Science

My current courses I'm trying to stay on top of are General Chemistry II, Emotions (psychology), and Medical Terminology

I want to begin regularly studying Japanese and Spanish again

I want to begin reading, journaling, and sticking to consistent routines as well as keep academically inclined.

My Preferences in Accountability Buddy:

Female, 19-24 years of age (no minors or males, please.)

preferably in college/university, but it also doesn't matter if you independently study languages

also has some academic/productive oriented goals, or just goals that you'd like to be kept accountable on

has a not super personal way of contact for the accountability check ins (GroupMe, Discord, and eventually maybe a way to video call once we get more comfortable with each other, but of course, safety first! and tumblr inbox works too, but I feel discord or groupme might be a little easier long term)

hopefully willing to stay accountability buddies for a decent amount of time (maybe til end of my semester? mid may?)

willing to lay out or goals, accountability check in schedule, and open to communication with respect to each of our time zones/schedules/commitments, etc

conversationaly fluent/fluent in English or English first language at the least. It's the only language I currently speak so it would be easier to work with someone that speaks the same language

If anyone is interested in having/being an accountability buddy, please send me an ask or message me! Please be respectful of my preferences tho, I really do want to be safe with something like this because with the internet, you never know. I look forward to possibly meeting/working with/becoming acquaintances with you guys!!

ps. please don't be put off by the aesthetics of my blog, I can assure you all, I am a typical, 21 year old college student who works an on campus job, struggles with sleep and caffiene, and is constantly staying on top of my grades and classes while also worrying if I'm doing enough to keep my GPA at a good spot. this blogs aesthetics are purely for fun and artistic expression. If I wasn't such an aesthetic-loving person, I'd post my own study type photos but I'd feel so less-than if I posted like, a non cohesive plethora of photos I take. I'm not good at taking photos

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

"The world going by my window" – A Lennon-McCartney Microcosm

Or: Over-analysing the melodic and harmonic structure of one line from The Beatles' "I'm Only Sleeping" (1966) and discussing how it reflects the very essences of the musicians and people singing it.

Preface: The following is an extremely self-indulgent deep-dive into one of my favourite moments of harmonization in musical history. It is both a relatively music theory-heavy analysis (though relevant concepts are explained with visual as well as audio examples) as well as a free-form riffing on what distinguishes Lennon from McCartney as a composer on the one hand, and what distinguishes Paul from John as a person on the other. Of course, like the duo's melodies intertwine, so did their lives.

DISCLAIMER: I think it's lovely how the music reflects their lives but that doesn't mean I think the music was created because it reflects their live (irrespective of artistic intention).

1. Homesy John and His Strange Close Melodies

"Keeping an eye on the world going by my window" forms the beginning of the bridge of "I'm Only Sleeping". John, the main songwriter and lead vocalist of the track, sings a tight melody, which is sprinkled with several dissonances.

For those who don't know, dissonances occur either due to a dissonant interval – that is, when two or more notes that don't "go together" are played at once – or when a note that is not part of the current key is played.

In this example, the dissonant interval (on the left) is a second, that is the two simultaneously played notes are very close – so close that stacking their notes on sheet music becomes awkward, as seen above. The dissonant note is a B note (on the right), which has been elevated up a half-step from B♭ (in the middle), through usage of the ♮ symbol, preceding the note. B is not part of the usual 7 notes of the key, and thus adds a feeling of displacement within this harmonic context. You can listen to the interval as well as the transition from B♭ to B in the following file and notice the sense of discord these note combinations tend to invoke in a listener.

Now, back to John's melody:

Just looking at the score, we can see how close together John keeps everything; there are no larger jumps. He favours small intervals, even using dissonances to reduce the distance his voice has to travel to a minimum. The dissonances give a feeling of strangeness to the overall melody.*

*(arguably it isn't that strange, since he is following a blues scale, which includes notes considered "dissonant" in classical music theory; that being said I would argue that the frequency of the note-usage in this particular line is still of note in the context of this song and The Beatles' general discography.)

This is, in my opinion, one of the staples of John's melodies. Think of the intro to If I Fell, or even the siren-inspired wail of the I Am The Walrus verses. These are all close melodies that have at least somewhat dissonant qualities.

It is also an interesting reflection of him and his mid-60s situation. With his early-twenties behind him, John was known to have become more reclusive during this time; going out less often, preferring the comfort of his private home. Simultaneously, his interests became more eccentric and he began finding it more difficult to relate to "ordinary" people, for reasons ranging from disillusionment with society as a whole to mental health and addiction issues. Just like his melodic lines, he built a strange surreal world for himself, without stepping too far out his comfort zone.

2. Adventurous Paul and his Warm Leaps

"Keeping an eye on the world going by my window" is also the moment in the song where Paul, who up until this point was a mere co-background vocalist, is briefly promoted to co-lead. For the first part of the line – up until the word "world" – he joins John in unison, before breaking off to find his way to the highest note of "I'm Only Sleeping".

Unlike John's melody, Paul's unique part is much warmer and features no dissonances. This doesn't make it less complex though; for one, it covers a range that is two half-steps wider than John's melody and features the largest interval jump: a perfect fourth ("my win-[dow]").

Paul's songwriting is known for its wide tonal palette, his outstanding vocal range making melodic climbs and leaps second nature to him when compositing. At the same time, his tunes have over the years, it seems, almost been faulted for how intrinsically pleasing they are to the ear.

This, in turn, contains traces of Paul's personality; a constant thirst for life, a great skill of adaptability, an ambition that verges on destructive over-zealousness – he has risen too high, where no one can follow, perhaps inadvertently left someone behind. Yet, through it all, he maintains a pleasant sweet nature.

3. (Never) The Twain Shall Meet

Both of these aforementioned melodic lines combine to form a whole in the song (note that because they begin in unison at first only one note is played at a time – that's how pianos work sadly :-( ):

Now before we take a closer look at what happens in the score when these two melodies are united, I'm gonna need to give some background on harmonic arrangement.

Typically, when harmonizing, the most common interval between two melodies is a third (minor or major). The third is considered to be a very pleasant-sounding interval; the notes are as close to each other as possible without sounding dissonant and overall the tone is warm.

See above two melodies set exactly a third apart at each note. It's an adaptation of a Mozart piece I played a few years ago and can be listened here:

The second most typical interval for harmonies is the perfect fifth. It's a bit more "hollow"-sounding, one might say, less warm generally, but does not, as such, sound "wrong" to the Western ear.

(asterisk elaborated further down)

The above sequence can be heard here:

You may be wondering why the two notes in the middle are not a fifth a part. This is because, for hundreds of years, Western music theoreticians have discouraged the use of parallel fifths. This is when two melodic lines maintain a perfect fifth interval between each other over multiple consecutive notes. It's considered to have a harsh and slightly strange sound, and also dilutes the wanted distinction between both melodies.

Here's the same arrangement as above, only this time utilizing parallel fifths.

Again, an audio example – however, this may not sound especially harsh or strange to an untrained ear. (Just know that if Johann Sebastian Bach saw any of this, he would tear the score to pieces!)

Now with all this acquired knowledge, how do the John and Paul's individual melodies in fact form a whole?

(grey highlight denotes unison)

Look at that.

Paul, once mirroring his partner flawlessly, suddenly stubbornly refusing to follow John – whether it be to Surrey, Greece or that natural D-note. Instead, he lingers on the E♭ for a few more beats, as if contemplating. John, on the other hand, repeats the first half's walk-down, marinading in his strange claustrophobic world. Together, they create a dissonant second, two notes in a row, a disturbance.

Then, Paul jumps, and they are both singing in opposite directions; Paul upward and John downward. Only suddenly, it's almost like they've created a healthy distance, a perfect fifth apart.

Next, they start moving in tandem again, both rising, utilizing a dreaded parallel fifth. But it works here – and, notably, sounds a lot better in the song than on my piano recording. As mentioned, one of the problems with parallel fifths is that they keep the melodic lines too similar; however, these lines are not being played by perfectly tuned instruments. These are two men with voices sometimes so distinct from each other, they're described as polar opposites. They bend their notes and the rules of composition to create an otherworldly beauty. The harmonies seem to accentuate the contrast between their vocal styles, but this doesn't worsen the sound in the least. Instead, it seems that it is in their opposite nature that they find each other.

And then, as if coming down from a high, Paul jumps down to join John, a beautiful, warm third above him.

They are one; they are so close they bring out the worst in each other; they drive each other apart; they reach for each other even when distant; and then, when all is said and done, they fall back together in the end.

To finish off I recorded a slower version of the harmony. Come bask in the infinite glory of every single note with me!

"Keeping an eye on the world going by my window."

[haveyouheardthispodcast]

What are your personal favorite podcasts?

Mod Nic here, I just got access to the askbox (Thank you Mods Kat and Axe!) and I'll be getting to the asks and submissions in chronological order except I wanted to answer this first.

My top three podcasts I can't rank because they all feel incomparable. They are Welcome to Night Vale, Wolf 359, and Friends at the Table.

Welcome to Night Vale: A classic. I've listened to this at least four times. Of course, 20 new episodes come out a year (plus bonus episodes on Patreon and liveshows on Bandcamp) so I haven't listened to every episode four times, because on each listen it gets longer and longer. I found it summer of 2013 when I was on an international road trip and could only check Tumblr on my iPod Touch when the hostel/motel/airport/ferryport had WiFi. Everyone was talking about it so I used the Apple podcast app (before it was subsumed by iTunes (before it was later rejected by iTunes)) for the first time. I remember coming back to the US and being at my grandparents and excited for a good WiFi connection and a lack of time pressure so that I could reblog Night Vale art like everyone else. My comfort podcast. Despite many people comparing any fiction podcast to Welcome to Night Vale, the first one to feel similar on an emotional level to me is Hello From The Hallowoods. It has the same sense of yes, the world is filled with horrors, but life is beautiful nonetheless. A narrator's gentle voice will tell me the happenings of many people who may or may not know each other but still make up a broader community.

Wolf 359: This is not the first non-Night Vale podcast I listened to, but it was the one that unlocked podcasts for me. The first one that I could track easily and was always eager for the next episode. The first one that was dangerous for my sleep and my homework the way that books are dangerous — once I start I can't put it down. I started it early fall of 2016 at the beginning of my junior year of college. I remember walking around parks playing Pokémon Go and coloring a page of an adult coloring book. I believe I caught up at Memoria, which was amazing timing. Opposite of a comfort podcast. I think I've listened to seasons 1–3 twice, but since the show finished I can't listen to more than an episode without getting devastated by emotions. Second media property I've ever had a fic idea for that I really want to write.... just as soon as I can manage a relisten. Not really comparable except for that it also has a protagonist that is a diagetic narrator closely backed by an ensemble cast and a show-long plot (instead of a season-long plot), but Hi Nay is probably the fastest I've ever gone from hearing a podcast for the first time to backing it on Patreon (but it was more a replacement for The Magnus Archives in my listening schedule, turns out I need to be exercising to listen to horror).

Friends at the Table: An actual play podcast that ruined me for actual play podcasts. Started listening in 2017 after I needed to temporarily withdraw from school due to my health collapsing causing me to fail classes. I had been listening to The Adventure Zone, but I actually started it because so many amazing Wolf 359 fan artists and fic writers were making art and fic for F@tT and I just had to know what that was about. I caught up just in time to start with Spring in Hieron. Due to my personal audio issues, I often have no idea what's going on in the sci-fi seasons, but that hasn't stopped me from crying because of it anyways. I can give personalized recommended starting points if I know someone, but in general I'm a big advocate for starting with the very first episode. My favorite season is probably still Autumn in Hieron, despite the audio quality. The moment when an interpretation of a roll from a player caused the pirates to become undead pirates was probably the moment when I got excited about wanting to play tabletop roleplaying games myself. Since I found it I've bounced off of every single actual play podcast I've tried listening to, until a few months ago when I started the Ruin's Gate season of The Unexplored Places. Ruin's Gate has the distinction of being the first time I've been able to track what the rolls of a Forged in the Dark game mean from a narrative perspective instead of just a mechanics perspective.

—Mod Nic

[lonestardust]

hey guys, hi friends, how are you? I miss you. and i miss being here. This was supposed to be a "2023 is over, here is a summary" post but this is just a life update.

TW : wound (⚠️ it's gnarly, ok)

I know I've been MIA for the past two and half months, I've been struggling to write this post. I don't sleep well and I've lost weight. I've been struggling to sit and write about how I'm personally doing. Unable to express personal thoughts. Maybe because I'm the least important thing to me now. All I know is the gut wrenching screams of bleeding Falasteen. I can only tune in that collective suffering. That's where I belong. That's every human being's duty. June Jordan is right "Palestine's liberation is a litmus test of morality" I'll always go back to that quote because so many are failing it. So many disappointed me. It's like they made their humanity crumble into irrelevance the moment they reveled that showing up for humanity is optional and conditional depending on how comfortable and relevant it is to the white western values.

But simultaneously I've been feeling the tourniquet salvaging the wound. The strife for liberation is well and alive. Liberation and Decolonization had become mainstream concepts and practice (although some are still struggling to stay fully principled away from normalization but it's happening!). Like all arabs. I grew up watching the dead kids. The slingshots and rocks combating massive occupation tanks. I grow up haunted by the assassination of 11 year old Mohammed Al-Durrah, by Naji El Ali's Handala being a signature graffiti art in random streets, knowing that Israel assassinated Naji because he was a Palestinian artist. A truth teller. I grow up witnessing how they bulldozed 23 year old Rachel Corrie. I think often of Rayan Suleiman from last year. still haunted by his big rounded brown eyes — this 7 year old, chased by the terrorist zio occupation forces that he fell to the ground and died of a cardiac arrest. A 7 year old. His body shut down. Fear transcended his fragile anatomy that it shut down and died. I'll never forget the photo of his little body surrounded at the funeral by his friends. A bunch of 7 year olds. Starring into the void. not able to process what's happening because it's such an absurd concept. Kids consoling kids. My head hurts witnessing extermination campaigns and mass graves, and maimed bodies beyond recognition — WHOLE full fledged lives turned into literal dust. For 84 days straight now.

My brain, soul, spirit, psyche will never ever be the same again. And I pray this horror dig itself in the depth of the bones of the entirety of the fascist zionist world and their systems and fuel us to take action and never go back to statue quo!

On another note, I've had a quite terrible accident. A deep second degree burn as you can see. Accidentally spilled boiling water directly from a pot on the stove all over my left thigh. The pain is terrible obviously and I caught a really bad flu on top of it in the first couple of days because i wasn't able to cover it, wear pants or properly cover myself while I'm sleeping. So I've been bed ridden, bone-tired with fever and a massive wound.

Day 4 Day 7

Mind you this happened the day before i was supposed to start a new teaching job. Obviously wasn't able to show up and that was a bummer because i needed that job. desperately so and not just financially, I couldn't and can't handle anymore the anger, grief and anxiety pressuring my nervous system. I needed to start that new job immediately to refocus my daily life on a track again just to gain a routine so i could cope. Usually between jobs when I'm unemployed I thrive in doing nothing but my fan hobbies. Art, fandom and creating make my life so rich I could never get bored but in times like these "balancing grief and joy" is NOT an option.

And here is a thing. Because I've seen many many fucked up self-centred individualistic takes coming from white liberals telling us how we should feel (they always feel entitled, don't they), like the irony in the colonial paradigm harming us then offering us their therapy as the solution, coming with "protect your energy", "choose peace", "practice daily masturbation to relieve the stress of what's happening" (yes I watched this being directly and openly suggested on a panel about Palestine) imagine fucking telling somebody to go finger themselves and masturbate the stress of a GENOCIDE away.

The strangest manifestation of the white "self care" industrial complex, where people think they can therapize their way out of colonial mental consequences of bearing witness and being complicit in genocide. Maybe we're not meant to cope with this because it's literally beyond comprehension. Insane pathological narcissistic behaviour to think it's even a goal to feel good right now- if you want to"feel good" your only goal should be mobilising and organizing for revolution through action to destroy and dismantle the imperialist systems, to never go back to status quo!

On the physical aspect. I've been lucky, my dad has been taking care of me, taking me to the hospital visits, paying for my meds, cooking for me and all. And as I sit here, healing and being taken care of, I can't stop thinking of how I have resources, I have a roof over my head, warplanes are not buzzing in my ears 24/7, I get to sleep in my bed. I'm injured and I'm healing, able to sedate the pain with medicine. Can use the bathroom because there is water. But Palestinians in Gaza do not have any of that. None. Kids have their limbs amputated without anaesthesia amid ongoing denial of medical supplies into the strip. Some of them die of pain during that deadly surgical intervention. It makes me sick to my stomach. And I don't know what else to say tbh. I just know we live in a world that has no red lines and we can't continue to exist like that. Empire shall fall.

I genuinely don't know what to say, new year spirit and holidays mean nothing to me. My only new year resolution is to never again get numbed by the Empire. If standing for the lives of people of colour and their liberation is radical in a cesspool of white supremacy and imperialism, so radical it is.

I hope you're doing fine though. i hope you're well and okay. and to be honest I don't have it in me to ask about the fandom and how is it going.. It's probably going, I'm just not there at the moment. But i want to hear from you. How's life lately? What have you been up to? Also I am sorry if you've been tagging me in wips, games or sending me asks, I am genuinely sorry if I did not reply, I promise i see it and appreciate it ❤️‍🩹 I appreciate the special friendships and bonds I've formed in this fandom here, especially this year, and I don't wanna feel like I'm losing that.

[thefloatingstone]

Ok I know you probably never want to hear about high guardian spice again (and honestly fair if I were to put so much time into something I disliked I wouldn’t want to touch it ever again) but I just finished watching the 5 hour complete saga compilation of your essays (which has been added to my comfort video essays playlist bc I watch it so religiously now) and you make the point of the characters failing because Raye Rodriguez was too emotionally attached and saw them as OCs to the point where he couldn’t stand to see them do wrong.

But here’s the thing - isn’t the whole thing about being an artist or writer with OCs is to endlessly traumatize or torture them (or at least from my internet experience)?

So not only is Raye bad at writing characters, he just doesn’t know how to have OCs other than “yeah I draw them in cute setting and ship them because their color palettes go together”

(Also love your videos, love your art, please make a million more ok thank you goodbye)

askhdkasjkdjs THIS IS SO SWEET THANK YOU????

When I saw the notification I thought I was gonna get yelled at for a recent post I made saying "tumblr is actually fine right now" so this was a really nice surprise to wake up to 😂

And I get what you mean but i think I would word it differently;

I think the whole thing with OCs is to push them into situations that forces them to act in extreme ways they wouldn't otherwise, most often for the best (they can heroic, they can emotional, they can say the things they've been holding back, they can be open to be cared for, they can be emotionally honest, they can show weakness, they can show strength) but also sometimes for the worst. (they can become enraged, they can lash out, they can become violent, they can become selfish, they can harm others etc etc). Or more often than not, a mix of both (they can be selfish and therefor decide to heoricly protect the people they are selfish about because those people belong to THEM.)

But I don't think this is the be all end all. Some people may just want OCs to have as comfort characters. Some people NEED those OCs to be comfort characters, for whatever reason in real life, to just have characters who live gentle, quiet lives, form bonds with their friends, forms close connections with the community, and just live peacefully.

I think in HGS' case, the problem is not that Raye is too attached to his OCs to "put them in situations", but more he is too attached to his OCs to allow them to make mistakes in a way that might put them in a bad light. Of course, in doing so it makes the characters come across as HORRIBLE people. When his OCs make mistakes, they tend to be mistakes that stem from them actively being bad people (or just nonsensical like Rose being the one to kill the sea dragon for no real explained reason at all). But the resolution to these mistakes is most often to acknowledge "I did something bad" but then go "BUT it's because I am struggling with x y or z" and turn the apology into excuses and explanations in a way that makes the person they're apologising to have to make THEM feel better.

"Wow I'm so sorry! I never knew you were going through all that!".

But I'm going off track here.

Basically I don't think all OCs need to be pushed into extreme situations or emotions to be "good". Not at all. I just think the situations that the HGS characters are put in are not handled correctly in the lead up to those events, nor the follow through to those events.

But I do think that you cannot write characters in a professional tv show and still treat them with the same mentality as "these are my deviantArt OCs who I ship together and like drawing cute outfits in".

There has to be a certain level of criticality to the characters. You have to be able to recognise flaws they have. And that's not even a problem! Because those flaws are what make a character INTERESTING.

I'm busy having fun watching people watch Unicorn Warriors Eternal, and it's been a lot of fun seeing what people make of my favourite character, Edred. Some people REALLY fucking hate him, but most people really enjoy him. Because he is an EXCEPTIONALLY flawed character. But he's likeable because he is very obviously a good person who deeply cares about the people close to him. And also because every fuck up he does in the show comes back to bite him in the ass a few episodes later and make his own life harder.

lol YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF, EDRED!

You cannot write your characters as if their flaws are insults when pointed out. Even if you're only writing cute, slice of life stuff without any extreme situations or emotions.

My favourite Slice of Life anime are the OG classics, Lucky Star and Azumanga Daioh. Nothing extreme happens in either shows, but their characters, especially Azumanga, are still alowed to have flaws which are treated AS flaws.

And it's fine. It's ok to treat those flaws AS flaws and not try and excuse or quickly justify the things the characters do wrong.

[xoxoemynn]

13 + 15 for the fic asks? ✨✨

attached is _my_ favourite comment of the year, thanks for writing such a beautiful story 🧡🧡

AHAHAHHAHAHA I REMEMBER THIS ONE, IT ALSO MADE ME LAUGH A LOT AND I THINK OF IT OFTEN. (And thank you!!! 💖)

favorite writing song/artist/album of this year This will probably surprise no one who's tracked my hyperfixations over the year, but it's Brandi Carlile's The Story. It's become my writing reset song. There are just SO many emotions in that song that work their way into most of my stories — the desperate love, the yearning, knowing you're in love with your best friend, being comfortable growing old together, reflecting back on lonelier days, your head being all messed up but you have One Person who gets you like no one else, Having It All but knowing it's nothing without love. Literally any time I get stuck, I put on my headphones and put that song on repeat, loud, and 9 times out of 10 I'm unstuck within 20 minutes.

something you learned this year I learned that I actually CAN write a fic pantsing style! I'm usually VERY much a planner. I need at least a basic outline for anything I write or I spin out, and ideally I like to have it fully fleshed out. However, while writing Stede Bonnet's Lonely Hearts Club Sleepaway Camp, I didn't really have that luxury. I could tell pretty quickly it was going to be longer than I originally expected, and I had to post it in December, and it was a busy time of year. So a lot of times I had to just write and hope for the best, which frankly I really struggled with at times. My poor beta had to listen to me ramble a LOT because processing on the go is not my jam. But I learned to trust my instincts more, and also a key way to make a story feel cohesive even if you're winging it as you go is to identify a few core ideas and be consistent about weaving them through the narrative, even if you're not 100% sure how it'll pan out. For this story, that was jewelry (specifically the pikorua and the friendship bracelets) and warmth (all the blankets and gloves). When I read the entire thing through for the first time I was honestly shocked at how well it came together and how little editing I had to do because I stayed true to that.

Thank you for the ask!

Send me end of year fan fic asks!

[startreatment]

i feel like i can say this here so i’m just gonna let loose but i think jack doesn’t challenge taylor and that’s why midnights is so…. i hate to say uninspired but that’s how it feels. like, maybe if we weren’t rehashing similar themes in previous albums over and over again with some pretty mediocre beats in the background it’d be fine but someone needs to light a fire under taylor or something, im not even saying this in a “she’s a horrible songwriter” type of way… it just feels like she’s gotten too comfortable and has become maybe stagnant in a way?? like i enjoy karma and sweet nothing is cute but when you look at the lyricism on this album vs her recent work it doesn’t feel cohesive. like she could do better. i’ve seen the argument that people “just hate fun” but that isn’t the truth, we can have fun with taylor… literally look at lover & 1989, it’s just so like “that’s it?”.

first of all, i am so flattered that you came in my inbox to bitch, love you for that <3 second of all, YES!!! COULDN'T FUCKING AGREE MORE!!!!!!! i couldn't put my thoughts into words, but you said it perfectly! yeah, she's fucking rehashing the same themes and i'm sick of it. folklore and evermore are outliers in this, because she very masterfully mixed up her own stories and stories she made up, which is one of the reasons they felt so fresh and exciting, despite both having jack in the credits. i don't want to be an asshole and say that artists are only good when they struggle and suffer, but how many times can you tell the same falling-in-love story? sure, having new perspective can be fun, especially when it's a retrospective/reflective thing, but at this point it just feels... reductive? idk. like, the fact that it's a popular thing for swifties to be like "false god belongs on reputation", or "high infidelity is so evermore!", or "paris sounds like something off 1989" is not good. doesn't necessarily mean she's constantly writing the same song (even though it feels like it sometimes, especially if you rearrange them a bit), it just shows that all three of those pop records are not entirely, and i'm sorry to say this, sonically cohesive. lately, it feels like she just puts most of the songs make it onto her records and very little gets left on the cutting floor or whatever. i do not think songs like mastermind/vigilante shit/paris belong on an album like midnights, purely because i don't think they fit the ~vibe. and that's a problem, at least to me! when i first saw the tracklist, i was So Excited. a 13 track album?? finally, she's gonna pick the very best songs instead of making a bloated 16+ track mess (looking at you, lover)!! oh, wait.. there are 8 more tracks? yeah, that's taylor alright.

i know nothing about music industry, but what i do know is that the most exciting music taylor swift has ever made was heavily influenced by

a) working with a new producer, stepping out of her comfort zone (1989, folklore)

b) going through a horrible break up (red)

c) having Shit to prove to losers and people who doubted her abilities (speak now and 1989)

so yeah, i also agree that she needs to be challenged, needs to try something she hasn't done before. she's incredibly talented and hard-working, to see her waste her time/money/mental resources on shit like midnights when i KNOW she can make shit like 1989, red and folklore, is upsetting.

[songanalyst]

Hello tumblr@s, I'm going to show you a review of the song Higher Power, the new and unexpected song of the group @Coldplay that came out on May 7th and has already been in all the charts. I hope it solves any possible doubts you may have about the single:

For those who don't know them, Coldplay is a British alternative pop rock band that debuted in 1996, although they were not internationally recognised until the release of Yellow in 2000. It consists of Will Champion (drums), Guy Berryman (bassist), Jon Buckland (guitarist and co-founder) and last but not least, Chris Martin (lead singer and frontman).

Although, as mentioned in the introduction, the band is framed within the pop rock genre, their career has been nourished by different musical genres and influences, and they have been compared to Radiohead, Oasis or U2.

Higher power is just a small sample of all the surprises that the next album, *Music of the Spheres*, will have in store for us. The lyrics of the single, according to some testimonies of the band, aim to bring a little light at the end of the road of this unpleasant situation generated by Covid-19.

For this song in particular, the band has opted for a futuristic air combined with a synth pop sonority that gives us the opportunity to go back to the musical decade of the 80s (something all too common nowadays).

But without a doubt, the track has become what it is thanks to the production of Max Martin and the co-production of Bill Rahko and Oscar Holter under the record label, Parlophone.

The song currently has no set music video as its release date is 8 June. Even so, it has been performed live up to three times accompanied by holograms in the most extravagant costumes.

The song was not only famous for its style and staging, but also for some minor problems with fandom. Fans of pop star Lady Gaga accused the British band of having copied the album's cover and the way it was promoted on billboards.

In addition, Chris Martin's tweet about how he started composing the song to be reviewed caught the attention of many fans and new listeners. Is it really comfortable to play the piano from the toilet? Well, it seems to be working for them, and with flying colours.

To sum up, the song has brought a certain originality to the group's professional career, but not with respect to the current music market. Analysing the latest proposals of the best known artists, it seems that their songs have a common starting point and that perhaps a new aesthetic-musical movement is emerging that could be called “The New Neoclasicism”

[biffhofosho]

NO WAY!! I can't believe your bias is Hyungwon also. I feel like I never meet other monbebe who are in his lane :( Fun fact, I actually couldn't pick a bias for such a long time because of how much I love all of them. One day, however, I was showing my friend one of their music videos and they asked me who my bias was. I balked at first but ultimately I had to admit I always felt so validated, appreciated, and moved by what wonnie had to say.

His songs made me feel something, unlike other artists(not compared to the other members lol). He has such a way with words and as an avid reader, I fell in love with how he wrote. His personality played a huge role in my trip also haha. I feel so safe when I listen to him sing or read stories about him. His disposition was similar to mine, I am an INTJ, and his fearless nature helped me gain confidence in myself.

ALSO, I am in awe that Wonho was your semi-first bias of MX, considering he was the one who got me into them. I saw a TikTok of him dancing and I was immediately absorbed by his energetic yet smooth style. After that, I searched them up and fell in love lol.

Although Hyungwon holds my heart, I must say Kihyun bias wrecks me so hard all the time, which isn't helpful when MX are my ults.

Anyway, enough about me, who's your bias wrecker? I feel like you are possibly a Honey mbb lol. You give off such a comforting and kind energy, yet an intelligent and analytical one at the same time. Getting to know you has already been such fun, I can't wait to develop our friendship further! Speaking of which, how should I call you? I figured since you call me Santa lol you deserve a nickname also haha(I hope that didn't come off the wrong way!)

xox mbb Secret Santa

p.s. remember to drink lots of water and eat well!! much love :)

Sorry for taking a while to respond! Weekends are busy because I do many things with my husband and kiddo, and I wanted to give you a nice, long response for your very nice, long ask. <3

You can call me Dutch or Biff on here or any kind of silly pet name you want--I'm only picky about food haha. (My real name is reserved for DMs where MX can never find me embarrassing myself lol.)

Oh, it's so true, isn't it! Where is the Hyungwon praise, people?!? At least that means it's less we have to share of him haha. :D Stil, Hyungwon (and all seven boys) deserves all the love and best things in the world. I feel like he's really only become truly comfortable in his idoldom since Wonho left, as it was pretty easy to take introvert shelter in Wonho's tremendous wingspan heh heh.

Yes, Hyungwon is as unintentionally funny as he is intentionally funny. Since Inssaoppa, too, he's really been flexing his quick wit and wordplay, and I'm here for all of it. I love that he's been given more and more creative freedom, too. He's an INFP like me, and if we can't create, we wither and die.

Almost all of my all-time fave MX tracks are written by Wonnie, particularly "Mercy" (though I hadn't realized he'd written that song until long after it had been my favorite). I remember the first time I played the No Limit album in my headphones. I had intended to fall asleep listening, but the second "Mercy" hit, an entire universe opened behind my eyes. I cried into my sheets lol. That song rattled my bones. Needless to say, it's my favorite from their whole discography, and I started an entire novel around it. So, yeah, there's that.

I'm not sure if I have a clear bias wrecker since they've all wrecked each other for me for years lol. If I go by non-Hyungwon fics I've written, my favorites tend to be Kihyun's. If I go by the numbers of photos I've saved per member, Minhyuk's and Wonho's are a dead-heat in terms of how many photos I've saved. And aren't we all Honeybebes at heart? ;) I feel the same intense compulsion to put Jooheon's head in my lap and stroke his hair that every single member of MX does. *sighs* He must me adored and babied at all costs. :D

Oh man, I've got you fooled haha. But thank you for saying such nice things about me. If I give off a 1/16th of the warmth Jooheon does, that's the highest compliment I can think of (behind you saying I write like Hyungwon *continues to sob for all eternity*).

I feel like we were matched so well for Secret Santa omfg! Your energy is just my flavor, dear Santa. <3 Thank you for being so chatty with me. Is very, very lovely. :D Can't wait to chat more!

[sezja]

Melody is a patient woman, at least where it matters most. Oh, perhaps that might surprise some people - people who believe her to be pushy, or perhaps nosy, or perhaps even (gods forbid) overbearing, but even at her very worst (which, if she may be so bold, is still better than most people's best), she is patient.

So she watches Guydelot stalk around her parlor, looking comfortably out of place in his Gods' Quiver gear, no doubt deliberately chosen to demonstrate a lack of concern for her station, her career... or indeed her furniture; she'd insisted he remove his boots at the door, at least, else he would have tracked mud in on her nice rugs. What an uncouth man: utterly unpolished, peppering his every sentence with swear words that would have made Melody's poor mother blanch, wandering off in the middle of conversations to explore the room as though he owned the place...

He's fascinating, both in himself and as her fastidious, dutiful brother's choice of lover.

"That's the three of us as children," she calls to him, watching as he pauses before a small framed sketch: there they are, Melody and her siblings, sitting together on a picnic blanket.

"Aye, I'd know Sanson anywhere," Guydelot says, warmth stealing its way into his unguarded voice. "So serious, even as a sprat."

Melody smiles, drifting over to admire the sketch beside him. Sanson sits between the two girls, hands folded politely in his lap, looking unwontedly grave for a child of some eight summers; they'd been told that morning just how important it was that they sit still so the artist could do her work, and Sanson - being Sanson - had taken the advice to heart. Ah, how Melody had tried to provoke him into squirming! Lyrica at his side in the sketch is a grinning, flouncing little creature, looking fit to sprint away the instant the artist sets down her pen... and Melody herself has been captured with a clever little glint in her eye that she's always quite admired.

"So well-behaved," she agrees, smiling fondly at the memories, at the drawing. "I can count on one hand the number of times he got himself into trouble as a child - and more often than not..."

"I'm wagering more often than not it was your fault."

"Mine!" She touches a hand to her heart. "Dear sir, you wound me... but yes, I was a bit of a ringleader, and if he got into trouble, it was often at the cost of trying to keep me out of it." She gives him her most winsome grin, touching his arm. "But come, we were having tea."

"So we were."

She corrals him back to the table once more - the third time in the space of an hour - and once more sets to examining the man out of the corner of her eye. No, not hard at all to see what Sanson finds handsome about the man: though Melody has never been drawn to Elezen fellows herself, there is a certain rough elegance to him. A wildness. Does Sanson hope to tame that, she wonders? ...And then doubts it, knowing Sanson as she does; no, like as not Guydelot is coaxing a little wildness into her straightlaced brother, and not a moment too soon!

And there's a wariness to him, too. She isn't altogether certain Guydelot likes her much - or perhaps he's simply too uncertain of her motives to let his guard down.

Well. That's fair enough, she supposes.

"The tea isn't poisoned," she teases, sipping pointedly at her own. "I assure you, I invited you solely to become better acquainted."

"Aye," Guydelot replies with near-perfect calm, taking a noisy sip of the tea; Melody fights the urge to smile. He sets the cup back down. "So? What do you want to know, then?"

She eyes him. "I begin to think you don't like me much, sir."

"That's new to you, is it?" His eyebrows rise. "Not being liked?"

She laughs; she can't help it. "Not so openly! My goodness, why? Whatever have I done to earn your ire so quickly?"

"Nothing yet. But you strike me as a woman who's got claws."

"Perhaps." She studies the nails of one hand, fancying them as claws, fierce and tearing. Not a bad image. "But none for you, darling, never fear. Sonny loves you, and I love my brother. So long as you make him happy, you've nothing to fear from me."

He eyes her, doubt and curiosity warring on his face.

She smiles. "Yes?"

"That boy you mentioned, the one who only courted Sanson to get to you."

It's an old anger, but it simmers beneath the surface. She remembers the hurt in Sanson's eyes, the confusion, the denial. At thirteen summers, it was the end of the world. Melody breathes in the scent of her tea, breathes out the old memories, lets them settle once more. Still waters. It's old news.

"Yes? What of him?"

Those bright eyes narrow. "Just how much encouragement did you give him?"

The still waters boil over. Melody slams her cup down so hard she's surprised the porcelain doesn't crack.

For weeks she'd comforted her sobbing sibling, who wouldn't even emerge from his bedroom to face the rest of the world; she'd helped him dispose of every love letter, every tacky little gift, every pressed flower. Sanson's broken heart was a brittle thing - her stern, serious sibling, who'd allowed himself for the first time to believe someone might actually fall in love with him; Melody had watched him build a wall around his heart, and-

She breathes in deep through her nose, out through her mouth. Calm. Steady.

"None," she replies. "I'd never spoken to him until Sanson brought him home to meet us." Another deep breath. "At his insistence. He wanted to meet Sanson's family, he said. And then he caught me alone..."

There's less accusation in Guydelot's eyes now, only curiosity. "And then...?"

"I blacked his eye," she replies primly, fingers curling into fists at the memory. "He swore he'd only mistaken me for- for Sanson, but he'd called me by name. I dragged him out by his ear and made him admit to it, all of it, and then..."

And then the look on Sanson's face.

"I made his life a living hell," she says - quiet, icy. "I tormented him, mocked him, made sure he knew what a pathetic little worm he was." She picks up her tea, takes a quiet sip. "And rather than try to approach our parents about it, his family simply moved away, out of Gridania - out of the Twelveswood entirely. Sir," she says, "that boy received no encouragement whatsoever from me."

There's something like admiration on the bard's face. Maybe a touch of fear. "My mistake. Blacked his eye, eh?"

"Whatever else you may think of me, Guydelot, and whatever else I may be, I love my family. I love my brother, prickly though he may be." She smiles once more, thawing. "I don't mean to attempt to drive a wedge between you, if that's what you've feared. If you mean to treat Sanson well, as I said, you have naught to fear from me."

"Good to know," he replies. "Because you just gave me a half-dozen more reasons to be afraid of you otherwise."

She merely laughs. "Oh," she says. "Good!"

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

One quick question, why do you hate Before the Storm? I actually really liked it. It could be because I'm a hopeless romantic, but I just want to see your opinions on it

Oh boy, where to even begin...? I cannot stand bts... it actually hurts my insides to think about how much I hate this game haha.

[note: yeah hi uhhh... this is long because of course it is, it's coming from me but listen, my feelings for this game are not nice and I have a lot to say so.... my bad]

One of the bigger reasons, though not the biggest, is Chloe... I'm not exactly a big fan of Chloe. At all. Not in the first game, nope. I understand that so many people love her and they have their reasons for that, that's fine, she's just a character who doesn't appeal to me. If anything, she pisses me off because I can see the foundation for such a compelling character, but it all gets thrown away for the sake of bullshit.

So then they plop bts in front of us with Chloe as the playable protagonist in a prequel story about her and Rachel Amber. This is an opportunity to expand on her character, to tie into the first season and make me feel more positive feelings about her character, to do what the first game failed to do..... and to be fair, they DO have a few of them sprinkled in... but then they're overshadowed by the garbage.

It's just... the ideas are there, and they're ideas that I like but they're executed so poorly. I want to like Chloe Price, I can see that there's something good here.

Like okay.... lemme do a thing:

Chloe Price. She's going through some serious shit after her dad dies. He died unexpectedly in a car accident, something Chloe had zero control over, it's not fair, and even though it's not like the universe singled her out and said "fuck you," it feels that way to her.

On top of that, her best friend who she adores? She moves away. Not something that's in either of their control, they're kids at this point. However, Max stops contacting her and that hurts Chloe. Chloe tries to stay in contact, but eventually Max stops responding.

Then you have her mother, who's also grieving after losing her husband and dealing with her daughter pushing her away and on the wrong path. She meets a man and falls for him after realizing she still has a long life ahead of her and that's too long to be miserable over her husband's death, William wouldn't want that, and David is a source of comfort for her... something she's not getting from her daughter. The problem is that David and Chloe don't get along in the slightest... which leads to Chloe feeling like her mom is trying to replace her father by moving on, not understanding why Joyce's timeline of grief isn't the same as hers, y'know?

Oh, and can't forget that Chloe has fallen onto a not so great path of drugs, booze, bad grades, lying, staying out late without letting her mom know where she is, pickin' fights, making friends with drug dealers, stealing money and other items, all that. She's bitter, angry, unable to understand most of her own complex emotions and that only makes her even more upset. She's unable to express them in a healthy way, she doesn't ask for help, and denies it whenever offered.

So... Chloe's starts out as an extremely entitled, rude, obnoxious character. She insults the bouncer in the cringiest way possible because these adult men writing her don't know how teen girls talk, she steals money and a t-shirt from a dude who works for the band because $20? how dare? even though bands don't make a lot of money and a lot of profit comes from their merch but who cares about supporting artists you like, right? Chloe sure doesn't. She probably buys some weed from Frank because yeah, she's got a dependence on the stuff now. She gets into a fight with a couple of dudes after spilling beer on them.... but what's this?

Oh look, it's Rachel Amber. Y'know, the pretty, popular, talented, smart, perfect, charismatic girl from Chloe's school?? yeah, she's at the concert and saves Chloe from the dicks who attacked her, and the two girls spend the rest of the concert together.

Now, for some reason, Chloe isn't sure but Rachel has taken a special interest in her. Rachel is flirty, she wants to know who Chloe is, she asks her to skip school with her, and the two take a ride on a train to a park and... honestly? pretty romantic, and it plays into that escapism fantasy thing of having the pretty girl who everyone likes single you out, making you feel special.

Over time, the girls grow close. Rachel has some family problems and seeks comfort in Chloe. They spend nights walking together down empty streets at night, holding hands. They hang out and talk about the stars, they discuss Shakespeare and what it's like to actually be your true self, if there's actually such a thing. They get tattoos together, and Rachel helps Chloe color her hair. They have a special hideout they decorated together in the junkyard. Rachel spends the night at Chloe's enough that she ends up leaving a lot of clothes there. They daydream about running away together, long road trips and living big in LA.

Chloe starts to see Rachel as her angel because for the first time since Max, she feels like she has someone she can be open and honest with. Rachel almost seems too perfect to be true, y'know?

And hey, over time Chloe actually starts to kinda get her life on the right track, if not in an unconventional way. Sure, she's still dealing with losing her father. that's not something she'll just get over... but she does start making an effort with her mom, and yes, even David after he told her about his time in the army and gave her that photo. They both know they'll never be friends, and they'll still have arguments, but they'll at least keep the peace for Joyce's sake.

It's not all perfect, though. Chloe's still smoking and Rachel isn't always the best influence. They get into trouble here and there, but nothing super serious.

She dropped out of Blackwell so that her mom didn't have to keep paying her tuition and because she's fixated on this fantasy of running away with Rachel. Chloe's feeling good about herself, about her future, for the first time since her dad died.

Until Rachel disappears.

And everything goes to shit pretty quick after that. Rachel's gone, she's not answering calls or texts, and everyone keeps saying that she probably ran away, but Chloe knows better. She knows Rachel wouldn't leave without her, so something must've happened. She makes posters and puts them everywhere, but things only get worse.

Money is tight. Joyce isn't making as much as she needs at the diner, David isn't making enough as a security guard, and hey... they might lose the house... the house that was once Williams, that's a piece of him he left behind. Not only that, but where will they go?

Chloe doesn't want them to lose the house, or for her mom to be this stressed out over food and bills. Chloe borrowed money from Frank in hopes of using it to run away with Rachel, but with her missing... Chloe decides to give it to her mom in order to save the house. Joyce is alarmed that she has this much, but Chloe manages to lie her way out of it to give her mom some peace of mind.

Except now she has another problem- she can't pay Frank back and he's getting more aggressive about it as the weeks go on. Rachel's still missing, Frank's breathing down her neck with threats toward her mom, money is still an issue at home, and she's not in a good place. Chloe's desperate enough to steal... so when she makes it into a bar that doesn't card her and she sees rich boy Nathan Prescott drunk off his ass and flashing bills, she thinks it'll be an easy score. It's wrong to do this, it's dangerous, but Chloe justifies it to herself. She needs that money.

She didn't expect Nathan to drug her drink, and she wakes up to him taking pictures of her. She manages to get the hell outta there, but she still has no idea what the hell happened to her. Like.... that reeeally fucks with her, it doesn't even feel real. She can't tell anyone, she can't tell her mom, and the police won't do anything since they're under the Prescott thumb.... and well, she decides to blackmail him.

And we all know how that goes.

So... we have the highs and lows of Chloe Price. She's flawed, even starting out as unbearable, but over time she becomes more nuanced and you're invested in what happens to her. You want to see her better herself, you want her to work through her grief and get help, you understand why she hates David but when you see him and Joyce happy together and him make an effort to be better, you want to see them make amends. You know David doesn't want to replace William, hell HE knows no one ever could.

You want Chloe to keep going, to find purpose in her life and realize her own potential. You saw her at the beginning when she was broken, when she was lost and didn't see a future for herself, and it's satisfying to see her come this far to where she knows she has a future... something that becomes all the more tragic when you remember her fate in the first game.

You're invested in Chloe and Rachel's romance, you get giddy watching them flirt and do dumb, romantic, cliche things, and you're just as compelled by Rachel as everyone else. No, she's not perfect, she's not a stereotype, she's much more layered than that and it only breaks your heart when you realize that she's killed later on, that of course she's going to go missing... you already know that! So you're watching Chloe, who has gotten pieces of her life back together and is genuinely happy.... fall back down the pit, fall back into the habits she had at the beginning, and you know it will lead to her downfall.

.....TOO BAD BEFORE THE STORM DID FUCK ALL WITH THAT RIGHT?

Nope, you don't get any of that. Well, except Chloe being cringy. You get a lot of that.

No, no, we got edgelord, flanderized Chloe who thinks her wit is much greater than it actually is, whose terrible moments outweigh the good, and who doesn't grow or change no matter what influence you try to have over her.

Rachel could be replaced with a literal barbie doll and little would change. She has no charm, she's nothing like what she was described in the first game, and she's just so fucking unlikable. When she finds out that her mom isn't actually her birth mom, she claims that her whole life is a lie and her parents aren't real and she wants to meet her druggie mom who chose drugs over her for 15 years because she's the one who actually squeezed her out.

Which, by the way, WHY is this the goddamn plot?? Why did they feel like they had to shove in this "oh hey Rachel's dad is the bad guy, oh wait now this drug guy is the bad guy because he stabby Rachel, no wait now her dad is the super bad guy because he put a hit out on Rachel's REAL mom, oh no wait it's fine because Frank murdered drug man off screen" WHY YOU DO THIS??

You have three episodes. THREE. And in those three episodes, you have the opportunity to explore Chloe as a character, and her relationships with Rachel, Joyce, and David. But instead of dedicating the story to that, something you could've created a compelling narrative out of, you threw in this dumb mom plot and fire-

HOW THE HELL DID I FORGET THE FIRE????

What- why did- does she have- Rachel just- RACHEL SETS THE FOREST ON FIRE??? WHY THOUGH???

I get it, "Rachel is the fire" yeah yeah and it's dumb.

Oh and because we didn't have enough going on, here's a side mission where you gotta deal with getting money from this other kid who's running drugs for big bad drug man because he wants to help his dad who lost his job.

But WAIT, there's more- In a series where several girls were drugged by Nathan and Jefferson, forced to pose for pictures, and some even killed or driven to try and take their own life? something taken so seriously...? Victoria gets drugged and it's treated like a joke. Even worse, there is a path that has Rachel drugging her, and no one cares.

ALSO.... Rachel cheated on Chloe with two adult men, remember? One of which fucking murders her?? and we're just... we're just not gonna do anything with that??? Nothing??? Maybe a little stinger at the end but that's it????

I just..... I hate this game so much.

It had so much potential. Not only that, but it had the first game to look at and learn from. Learn from the mistakes that game made and improve upon.... but instead, they fucked up even worse. It's just a game of fanservice that has way too much going on, is trying to do too much, and loses focus on the most important things.

Three episodes could've been enough to explore different points of Chloe's character before the events of the first game. They could've crafted a story that gave more insight into her life that make sense of the choices she made, that turn her into the Chloe we see in the first game. You don't need a forest fire, you don't need evil lawyers. I know the first game had the storm and time travel and big dumb Jefferson, but you wanted to tell a story that's grounded without shit like that... y'know, before the storm.

I could probably go on and on if someone doesn't stop me, so I'll stop myself here... I hate bts because it's potential was there, I could see it in a few key moments, and it was wasted.

The romantic ideas fall flat because being pretty and gay isn't enough for me, I need more than that. I don't care if they kiss because I don't care about their relationship, and frankly, they've done very little to make me care about them as individuals.

UGH

.......does that answer your quick question? haha sorry for the not so quick answer, but like I said, this game makes my brain mad and once I get going, it's hard to stop.

[lilallama]

so, I'm guessing rapper!yandere!yoongi is stronger than normal yandere!yoongi? he can stand up by himself now, right? mentally, I mean, at least

Yes, he can definitely stand up for himself now. When he lost contact wirh Y/n he at first fell into despair. The days without Y/n felt grey, empty and painful. But then one day, as he decided to listen to music while cleaning the flat, he stumbled across his old playlist. Hearing all these artists that he admired again awoke something within him. Yoongi didn't want to let anyone else take Y/n, his only happiness and love, away from him. So slowly he stopped putting others before himself. His goal had always been Y/n's happiness, even if that happiness wasn't with him. But now he yearns to be Y/n's happiness, to make them feel happy and comforted.

He stopped letting the bullies stomp all over him and actually fought back. To this day no one knows that Yoongi broke a guy's neck for giving him a black eye. But soon he signed a contract with a small entertainment company which lead him to become one of the most popular rappers in korea.

He is a lot calmer now compared to how sentimental he used to be. The only thing that will never change is his adoration for Y/n. He keeps a photo of theirs underneath his pillow and a hair tie which he stole from them in highschool with him at all times, it's his lucky charm. At night he stares at their old photos and just cries, praying that they see him from wherever they are and are proud of who he became. He dreams of metting them almost every night yet the despair he feels once he wakes up only gets worse as time passes. Surely Yoongi would've hired someone who could track Y/n down, but he wants them to come to him themself since it's more romantic in his head.