#it's always been just the two of us! me and libby

[mulderscully]

the other day i watched a youtube video about how the past doesn't exist but i'm rewatching a movie i was hyperfixated on in 2004 and i still remember all the words 20 years later so.

[lilacponds]

I've learnt to just assume it regardless, but I hate SO MUCH posts that are "helpfully" letting you know that hey X is free! don't use Y when there's Z widely available at no price whatsoever!!! (even worse when it's guilt-trippy) and then you check X and Z out and they only either exist or work in North America. which was said nowhere in the original post or the 5 chained reblogs and nowhere in the first 30 replies.

like aight. I'll go fuck myself then. apparently the US is the only country that exists for you to not include that vital piece of information in your posts.

"I can't recommend enough-" You can. Your post was unhelpful and incomplete.

[solar-nightengale]

@lizardthelizard You wanted my thoughts, you're getting them 😏 Three and a half weeks later but you're still getting them ehehehe 😌😌😌 (Idk what to make of them so have fun with that word wall of mayhem)

August 2.18 | Zelena 3.16

[lovelookspretty]

lover of mine

drew starkey x actress!reader au

— in which drew and y/n, secretly exes, must fake date in order to keep the peace at a mutual friend’s wedding, but the forced proximity makes them question whether they ever truly moved on.

warnings: cute silly little gesture from drewseph 😋 progress progress

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authors note: this is just part 2 of day 2 so i’ll incorporate the movie night in the next part fs. let me know if u still want to be added to the tag list through replies, anons, or dms !! notifications are always on <3

you’re awoken by the light coming in through the blinds. it’s subtle, but it’s there. it bothers you and causes you to stir awake.

you can hear drew snoring—a habit you know all too well, but you ignore it. your eyes flutter open as you look around the room, then you look at him.

he’s dead asleep, but he’s on his stomach, his face parallel to yours. his mouth is a little open and one of his arms is underneath his pillow, hoisting him slightly higher, while his other is reaching toward your side of the bed.

you yawn as you twist your body and grab your phone off the nightstand, then check the time. it’s already noon. the others must be up and awake by now.

you drop your phone on your lap and use that hand to shake drew awake gently, but when he doesn’t wake up the first time is when you get a little rougher.

“star,” you tell him, in hopes that he gets up at least now or soon. you don’t want either of you to miss any of the plans going on that day. “wake up, come on,” you say, and drew’s eyes open once before he closes them again, and his legs move underneath the blanket slowly. he’s waking up.

“mmh,” he moans, and because his eyes are closed you know that he’s trying to fall back asleep. you retract your arm and get up from the bed. you figure he’ll wake up anyway, he knows he has to.

you walk over to the door and open it, then peek your head out into the hall. you look around for anyone, but all you find is theo walking upstairs to his and leila’s room with two plates of food.

“hey,” you say, then pause to clear your throat. you’ve already caught theo’s attention. “what are we doing today?”

theo shakes his head, his mouth full of his piece of toast. “not today,” his words are difficult to understand so he drops the piece of toast on one of the plates. “tonight. leila has this checklist that’s guiding our everyday, and she said she’s been wanting to just stay in one night, relax, watch some movies. it’s gonna be chill, but it’s only that.”

you nod, patting the doorframe twice. “thank you,” you say, then pull back into your room as you add, “and good morning!”

“‘morning,” theo says, and you close the door gently.

when you turn around you see that drew’s awake. or at least he’s changed positions. he’s lying on his side now, facing you again. you watch him as you return to your side of the bed. he has to flip onto his other side again when you even leave his sight.

“free day until movie night tonight. leila’s orders,” you say, and there’s a small smile on his face before he rubs his eyes with his palm. you look around the bed for your phone with a frown, “could sleep in ‘til tonight if we wanted to.”

“we?” he asks, and it’s like he’s caught you already suggesting plans for the both of you.

“if i . . . wanted to,” you correct yourself, then pause for a moment while you rub the back of your neck, looking away. “libby did say she could help me with some audition tapes today though.”

drew groans, stuffing his head back into his pillow. “why are you working during the two weeks we’re supposed to do anything but that?” he whines, as if you’re dragging him along to do it too.

you shrug, “some people are expected to book their next role as soon as possible. now that tempest is over, i want to start working on my next big thing.”

“tempest was the next big thing, you won an mtv award for it,” drew reminds you.

you think back to your tv series that had went on for six years, a good chunk of your life, before it ended just recently with its final season. tempest is the reason why you met drew in the first place—he shared his praise for your lead role at one of his movie premieres years and years ago.

you shake your head at him. “okay,” you say, deciding to get up and out of bed.

“where are you going?”

“i’m not gonna work but i’m not just gonna lay around in bed all day,” you tell him, and you leave the room to freshen up in the bathroom.

you hear a few footsteps that descend the staircase and you can’t help but peer over your shoulder to see who it is. it’s oscar. you’re seated at the kitchen island, and he’s just minding his own business as he retrieves something from his backpack it seems like, then he looks to you.

he’s kind. there’s a genuine smile on his face as he nods his head at you. “good morning,” he says.

he turns to leave and you try to return it, “good morning.” you clear your throat as you continue to watch him head upstairs. from there, you can see someone walking across the hall, just from their feet.

you can recognize his patterned socks. it’s drew.

“hey!” leila’s voice is a jumpscare and you can’t help but react quickly, facing forward like you’re a child getting caught stealing candy. leila laughs when she realizes she scared you. “sorry . . . i thought you heard me come in. are you ready?”

you’re dressed to go out to town, as leila said earlier that she wanted to visit the local market nearby. you nod your head at her and shuffle off of the chair.

“who’s driving?” drew asks as he jogs down the stairs and pulls his crewneck over his head. you barely cast a glance at his body before you look into his eyes, and he walks over. “am i?”

“yes—” leila tries to say before you cut in.

“you’re coming with us?” you ask. you don’t necessarily have a problem with it, it’s just why was it kept from you?

“problem?”

“i don’t know. is there one?” you furrow your eyebrows at him and tilt your head to the side, but you realize the way you’re talking to him.

he squints his eyes at you in question, then glances up at leila. he’s not sure whether you're teasing him or not, but he lets out a short, awkward laugh. “okay, let’s not get dramatic,” he says lightly.

leila, sensing the unease, smiles as she steps in. “i figured we could all go together! it’s a trio outing now! plus, you two are joined at the hip anyway.” she says it like it's the most natural thing, blissfully unaware of how the statement lands between you and drew.

you swallow the discomfort and force a smile as you get off the chair, grabbing your bag. drew’s eyes linger on you for a moment before he turns and follows you both out the door.

“careful,” he warns you about your blatant attitude.

you know he’s right, and you mutter out, “sorry.”

the car hums as you’re driven down to the beach market, then get out to enter. it’s not a huge deal being seen out in public together—you’ve done this before. but of course it’s different now. there’s something strange about holding drew’s hand when you know, deep down, it’s all for show. but you don't pull away.

when you reach the town, you spot a few people recognizing you—actors always catch eyes, even in quieter towns like this one. drew stays close, his hand still gripping yours, a comfortable smile playing on his lips as the three of you wander around.

a couple of fans approach you, their faces lighting up at the sight of you and drew together. “oh my god, i loved you two in hellraiser! this feels like a dream," one of them gushes, and for a split second, you feel drew’s hand squeeze yours tighter.

you try to play it off, laughing softly as you and him pose for a quick picture with the younger girl.

after, drew steps beside you, leaning forward with his hands behind his back as a few record him. “we’re glad you enjoyed it,” he says, flashing his grin. you feel a familiar flutter in your stomach, a reminder of all those moments you used to share during press events like this.

another girl beams, and what seems like her mother is standing there with her, “you look even prettier in person! can we take another photo?”

“of course!” you laugh, and you part from drew to tend to the few of them.

drew is just standing a few feet away, his gaze locked on you. his expression is unreadable—something between admiration and something deeper, something heavier.

leila catches onto his lingering stare, and she approaches him with a smirk, nudging his arm. “you’re staring,” she teases, her tone light. drew blinks and breaks his gaze, glancing down at leila like he’s been caught.

“was not,” he mutters. his eyes flick back to you for a second, but he quickly looks away again.

leila’s inspecting a few trinkets before glancing back at him, a knowing look on her face. “you’re a terrible liar, you know,” she says. “you’re staring, and don’t think i didn’t notice at the firepit either.”

drew shifts uncomfortably, trying to find a way to defend himself. “okay, well yeah, because she’s my girlfriend!” he says a little too loud, and even you look up at him and furrow your eyebrows before returning to what you’re doing.

“okay, i’m joking. god, please lighten up. you can stare at your girlfriend all you want. who cares?” she says, waving a hand dismissively. “is everything good with you two?”

drew hesitates, glancing over at you as you smile politely at another fan. “yeah, everything’s fine,” he says, the words coming out too quickly. “why wouldn’t it be?”

leila narrows her eyes, watching him closely. “i don’t know, you’re acting a little . . . weird. normally, you’re more laid-back when she’s off and doing stuff on her own. but lately, you’ve been all . . . protective. intense, even.” she pauses, studying his face. “is something going on?”

he rubs the back of his neck. “no, we’re good. we’re good.”

leila hums, her fingers tracing one of the bracelets on a stall table. “you know, i talked to y/n last night,” she says carefully, her voice soft. “she said you guys have been stressed with work lately, but that everything’s good between you. still . . . i don’t know, something feels off. you both seem a little . . . distant.” she gives him a gentle nudge. “i’m not trying to pry, but i just want to make sure you’re okay. i already asked her, so now i’m asking you.”

drew stiffens slightly, but forces a small laugh, trying to brush it off. “yeah, work has been a lot lately. it’s probably just that—stress, you know? juggling schedules, auditions, appearances . . . it’s hard to get time for ourselves.”

“i get that. trust me, theo and i have been there too with our careers. it can get messy, but...” she trails off, giving him a sincere look. “you and y/n have always had something really special. and i know it’s not my business, but if something’s really bothering you—or her—you guys should talk it out. don’t let it fester.”

he shifts on his feet, the words striking closer than he’d like. he nods, though, appreciating her concern. “yeah, you’re right. i know we need to talk more, make time for that.”

leila smiles, “good. i’m here for both of you, okay? if you need to blow off steam or talk, don’t hesitate. i can tell there’s more going on than just ‘work stress,’ but i trust you’ll figure it out.”

drew forces a grin, trying to play it cool. “thanks, lei. we’ll be fine.”

leila holds his gaze for a moment longer, then nods as she steps back toward the vendor. “you better be. you guys are a strong power couple around here,” she jokes lightly.

as she glances over drew’s shoulder, her gaze settles on a nearby flower shop across the street. she doesn’t say anything, but her eyes linger, then shift back to him. there’s a soft smile playing on her lips, and she raises her brows in a silent suggestion.

he follows her line of sight, his eyes landing on the shop. it takes him a second, but he gets it. leila doesn’t need to say the words. he knows exactly what she’s trying to tell him.

“really?” he asks, dropping his smile. “you’re playing wingman?”

“wingwoman, but you know.” she gives a small, almost teasing shrug. “i mean, they’re her favorite, right? might not fix everything, but it’s a start. little things, drew.”

his eyes flick back to the shop, an old habit of buying you flowers bubbling up in his chest. “yeah, she always liked those kinds of flowers,” he murmurs, half to himself.

he nods, muttering a quiet “thanks” under his breath, as leila gives him a knowing smile before turning back to browse a nearby stall.

drew makes his way over to the flower shop, eyes scanning for your favorite blooms. the vendor helps him put together a simple yet thoughtful bouquet, and drew can't help but feel anxious but hopeful.

a few minutes later, he looks for you amongst everyone. you’ve already found leila, as you two inspect something on a stand just a few stalls down. you must not have seen drew when he was handling the flowers.

he makes his way over, and his presence is warm behind you that causes you to peer over your shoulder. you’re startled when you realize there’s actually someone there, and he’s so close. you immediately notice the flowers.

your eyebrows lift in amusement as he grins. “oh, what’s this?” you ask, your tone teasing, though there's a flicker of surprise behind your eyes.

drew holds the bouquet out, his voice soft. “for you,” he says. “maybe to make the day a little better.”

you look at the flowers, hesitating for a second before taking them. there’s a small warmth in your chest that you try to suppress, but it shows in the way your lips twitch upward into a faint smile. “thank you,” you say quietly, studying the flowers briefly before your gaze shifts back to him.

you can’t help but wrap your open arm around his neck and pull him close. his gesture is sweet and unexpected. drew’s arms finds your waist before he’s hugging you back, even tighter, but trying to be polite with how long he squeezes you.

you feel bold, and you lean away from him before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. it’s brief, almost hesitant, but enough to make drew’s breath get caught in his throat for a second.

as you pull away, you notice his glance toward leila, who's standing just a few feet away, pretending to be deeply engrossed in whatever she's holding. but she can’t hide the small wink she throws his way when he meets her gaze, a playful, silent “you're welcome” before she turns back around.

you catch it at the very last second and your mouth gapes open, so you take a step back. “are you two conspiring now?” you ask, in fake shock.

he chuckles softly. “just trying to be a good boyfriend.”

“mhm,” you murmur, but your smile lingers, and you look up at him to mumble a small “thank you” again, to which he waves it off like it’s nothing. even though you're hesitant, you can't deny that the gesture worked—at least a little.

@rubixgsworld @itgirlbrina @thepopcultureaddict @samsmelodrama @kissfinalgirl @itsamegazaddysworld @willowpains

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

It's Who We Have | Part Two

Summary: Billy's world comes crashing around him when the girl he once called a friend returns to London | Word Count: 4k~ | Warnings below the cut!

General Taglist | Billy Washington Taglist | Series Masterlist

Warnings: angst, mentions of sexual intercourse, mentions of terrorism, toxic relationship with a parent, insinuations of neglect

Billy couldn’t relax the entire evening.

He felt his leg shaking incessantly beneath the table of the booth they were sitting at. Feeling, for the first time in a while, small and insignificant as he sat cramped in the corner next to the wall, having nursed the pint Paddy had bought several rounds ago. 

But he felt like he couldn’t move. 

She sat right next to him, her face alight with happiness like nothing had ever happened as she spoke animatedly with their old friends, with Libby at her side as well giving the heart eyes to Abi across the sticky table.

Billy fiddled with the soggy coaster, his fingers idly picking at the frayed edges, reminding him of that moment he’d seen her across the assembly hall all those years ago, her own friends then turning their backs to her, heedless of the empty and unimportant feeling they instilled in her. 

Why did that memory stick?

Perhaps it was a kind of irony. 

For he sat, completely disenfranchised, their elated conversation now sounding very much like that squelch when you twist the dagger inside someone, pushing between their ribs in such a fatally searing way. 

Her voice, her laugh, her smile.

Why was she pretending as if nothing happened?

He only raised his gaze when he saw her move, leaving her denim jacket on the seat as she slid out the booth with her bag over her shoulder. Nothing lingered but her perfume, which Billy recognised as not the same as the Charlie RED she always used to spray whenever she came bounding out the changing rooms after PE.

But for some reason it still felt nostalgic.

He watched her walk away, his chest twisting painfully.

Until Libby jabbed him in the ribs, giving him a pointed look, “what you all mardy for?” 

“If one more person calls me fucking mardy I really will be”, Billy rolled his eyes, emptying his pint, that by now was flat and bitter. Slamming it down to the table in a way that surprised both Harry and Paddy on the booth opposite.

“Out”, he gestured with his head, shuffling along the bench, “I need a fag”.

Shuffling a cigarette out the packet he kept squashed in his back pocket, he felt his mates’ confused gaze on the back of his head. And he didn’t even make it past the table before Libby hissed ‘tetchy’, furrowing her brows at Abi.

He knew it was late, as by now the once raging beams of sunlight were now touching the spaces between the houses in the distance in a sort of sombre, mellow orange colour, taking the bright blue sky with it. Shrouding the starless night above the pub into darkness.

Still, the crispness of the evening was a welcome one to the heat on the back of his neck. One that he’d not felt in a long time.

The irritation that had begun with the lack of Becky’s text, had now been replaced with one that ached in a different place, deep between his ribs, jabbing sharply like when you’re out of breath, panting with your hands on your knees, and unable to swallow air down your throat. 

“Fuck’s sake”, he muttered shallowly, the cigarette pressed between his lips, several frustrated clicks of his cheap lighter later.

“Graduated from the bike sheds then?”

He lifted his gaze somewhat, down the creaky, steel stairs of the fire escape, spotting her leaning against the wall, blowing smoke from between her soft lips and letting the soft breeze take it away from her. Like nothing toxic could ever just sit around her.

Her eyes glimmered against the low and dim light, and she had one hand on her own arm, covering her goosebumps.

There was a subtle look of urge in her gaze, one he didn’t miss. He was too perceptive for his own good, especially when it came to her.

He felt his breath get caught in his chest, swallowing painfully, hearing her speak to him again.

She pulled her lighter from her other hand, tapping her fingernails against it, “Come on. I don’t bite”.

Taking the careful and quiet steps towards her felt like walking into a field, not knowing if you were going to step on a mine or not. Like one wrong move, and that kind, understanding and warm expression would shift viciously into disdain, hatred and disgust. 

He wasn’t sure he could handle it if she hated him. Truly hated him.

When he was right beside her, she felt so small, as she had then too. A part of him inside began to unfurl as she had to move her head to look up at him, still holding the lighter out to him.

“Ta”, he replied in a sort of whisper, his blue eyes tearing away from her, unable to say or do much else than just light his own cigarette.

She watched the features of his face illuminated behind his hand as he does, his eyelashes lit very much like his blonde, floppy hair when he’s looking towards the sun. The end of it breathes red as he takes a long inhale from it, before sighing the smoke from his full, pink lips.

“How’s your mum?” she asked, idly trying to make conversation. Knowing Billy, his social battery had already run dangerously low by now, sapped even more so by her presence.

He shrugged, “Fine. Same as always”, he answered dispassionately, “Lana’s been in the Met for a bit now”.

“Yeah, I heard”, she smiled, but it fell when she realised he wasn’t even looking at her. As if unable to face this ghost of his past that had remained a ghost for so long. 

“Mum tell you?”

She shook her head, “No, Libby came up to see me sometimes”.

There it was. The guilt. The heavy feeling deep in his heart.

He felt that she'd grown into the woman he saw in front of him, without him knowing. Without caring enough to implore.

It's not that he hadn't cared.

But then, what was it?

"How about you?" he asked, barely turning to her, "your mum".

He watched the way her face fell, her eyes losing all shine, and lips turned down into a grimace almost.

Just like the way she always had.

At the mention of her mum.

"Dunno. Haven't seen her yet", she replied dispassionately, tapping the ash from her cigarette and watching the embers drift around their legs.

She felt a faint flutter of panic as their eyes met. Seeing his expression, in what she perceived was judgement at the relationship she had with her only remaining parent.

“Don’t look at me like that, Billy”, she muttered, turning away to bring her own cigarette to her lips again, not half as enthusiastic about the habit as Billy was. 

The truth was, and she would hate it if he said it out loud, he somewhat pitied her.

Billy cleared his throat awkwardly, "Enjoy your course?"

"Yeah, it was good".

"Psychology?" he asked with a furrowed brow.

She smiled sadly, and shook her head, knowing that he'd mixed up what she and Becky had studied.

"History".

He tipped his head, an embarrassed flush rising to his cheeks, "oh, right".

He heard her laugh through her nose, dropping her cigarette to the floor and lightly stubbing it out with her shoe.

He caught a waft of her delicate perfume as she moved to brush past him, the heat blossoming again to his neck at the idea of not seeing her face.

"When are you going back up?"

She was covering her arms from the chill, now with both hands, as she looked back at him. For a moment she saw the panicked, hopeful expression he wore, before he shifted again into someone she didn't know.

"What?"

He swallowed hard before asking again, reaching up to rub his neck, "When are you back going up…to Manchester?"

He swore he saw her shiver.

"I'm not going back up", she replied simply.

And now he felt himself shiver. His body flooded with a chill.

"You're…back here?"

She nodded, swallowing thickly as if to hold back tears, shifting her weight from foot to foot.

Why did she feel the urge to say she was sorry, as if she was encroaching on Billy's territory when he'd least expected it?

She felt like an outsider.

And even though she was several steps up that creaky, metal staircase, compared to him, she felt so small.

But then again, he'd always felt big to her.

When she stepped back inside the stifling aura of the pub, she forced a smile to her face, grabbing her denim jacket, "I should get home".

Paddy raised his eyebrows, his head heavy with the several pints he'd had catching up with him, leaning closely to Harry.

"You driving?"

"Walking", she replied, pulling her hair from beneath her jacket.

"What? No! Billy's dropping us all home anyway, he's got his pussy wagon parked outside", Libby giggled drunkenly, "if you ask him I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Don't want you walking anyway".

"Oh, no, really it's fin-"

"Hey Billy!", Libby clocked him as he came back in, the scent of tobacco radiating off him, his cheeks flushing with heat as his skin acclimatised, "room for another one?"

Billy looked between the girls with wide eyes, mouth opening and closing like he couldn't find words.

"Um-uh, I mean, yeah?"

"You're a star. Come on, don't be mardy", Libby grinned at her horrified expression.

All of their friends, in their drunken states, were unable to detect the trepidation and discomfort in either of them.

Or rather if they did, they didn't care.

"Get home safe!" Libby shouted to Harry and Paddy as they stumbled up the kerb, Harry's arm slung over his shoulder, giggling like schoolboys.

"Oh! Oh! Abi, fuck me har-" Paddy mocked at Libby before Harry's inevitable palm slapped over his mouth.

It was no secret that whenever there was alcohol involved, Libby and Abi were literally joined at the hip, often both hips once the doors closed. But even now, Harry himself couldn't hide the bright laughter at Libby's horrified expression.

She'd tried to move quickly to the back of Billy's Vauxhall, intent on giving him his space after what had happened earlier. But Abi slipped in the other side first and eyed her in faux-suspicion, drunkenly pointing the finger at her.

"You're not Libby…", he slurred.

"Jesus, Abi, if your mum could see you now", she laughed quietly.

"Yeah his mum still thinks he's a virgin and doesn't drink so", Libby retorted, slipping past her into the spot next to Abi, who curled up to her, sighing at her fingers through his raven, black hair.

She didn't miss the mischievous expression Libby gave her, wiggling her eyebrows at the front seat.

Passenger seat it is, then.

She sighed as she slid in, Billy already in the driver's seat, one knee bouncing nervously.

"Billy, your car…fucking filthy…", Abi slurred.

It was clear how quickly he shut up when Billy gave him a pointed look in the rearview mirror, "you wanna walk home, or what?"

"Your car is lovely, Billy", Libby added, pressing her lips together to stop herself from laughing.

"Hm"

The car didn't sound it's best, to be fair. He even had to push on the horn harder than anticipated when they passed Harry and Paddy walking home to say goodbye. It was so battered it even seemed to dip as the drunken couple shifted around in the back seat.

And the atmosphere in the front couldn't have been any colder.

She smoothed her hands over her legs, to try and lessen the goosebumps. And everytime Billy reached to change gears, she felt her heart leap into her chest.

One would be mistaken they were strangers.

But strangers wouldn't be so tetchy around one another. 

It was more awkward, even as Billy pulled up to a red light, the warmth of it illuminating his sharp features and pooling little red orbs into his baby blue eyes. She'd sometimes look over, seeing him stroke his mouth and chin nervously, and could hear the faint sound of stubble against his skin.

She pretended she was looking somewhere else when he caught her gaze once.

She thought she knew how to read him so well. But now, she wasn't so sure.

The sound of his creaky handbrake tore her from her thoughts. That and the shrill sound of Libby's overexcited voice, her bright bleached hair shimmering in the moonlight.

"Abi, for fucks sake, arms around me, c'mon!" 

How she managed to drag her boyfriend out was beyond them both, and she smiled warmly. 

"Ta, Billy! See you both soon!"

Libby took the warmth and airiness with her, plunging them both into what felt like ice water. The car dropped a few degrees with their seconds of silence, only broken by Billy clearing his throat and putting the car in gear.

"Your mum's?" he asked.

She only nodded before finding it in herself to reply, quietly.

"Yeah, please".

The rest of the drive realistically was not more than a few minutes, but fuck, it felt like a lifetime.

Her eyes faintly followed the surroundings as they passed them in darkness. They even drove past Cranstead Fields, and she recognised the tree they used to sit under, shrouded in a childhood long gone.

He kept the car running as he pulled up to her house, and he could tell she was thinking deeply as she appeared to have not even realised. 

Billy watched her shrink into herself once she looked up and saw the front door of her childhood home, the PVC scratched and the letterbox wrapped shut with gaffer tape.

He knew that look.

He opened his mouth, to offer if she wanted to stay at his, to crash on his sofa or something. But thought better of it.

She sighed and moved to open the passenger side.

"You moving out soon?"

She looked at him, as if surprised he'd bothered to say anything.

"I've got a place, but…collecting the keys in a few days", she replied.

He thought she sounded more and more like a child the more syllables she uttered in front of him. Scared once again to go home to her mother, seeing the lights on in the living room, with the lace curtains twitching.

"Thanks anyway, Billy", she said solemnly.

And so Billy watched her walk away from him yet again, admiring all the things about her he couldn't find the humility in himself to admit he'd missed.

She was looking down into her bag, searching for keys, when the flood of light illuminated the weeded concrete path and the silhouette of her mother swallowed her whole yet again.

He gave a quick wave to her mum. But it was nowhere near as forcibly polite as their interactions as teenagers. As if, her mum saw Billy as a man, and men were tainted in her view.

He wondered if she hated her daughter purely because of her resemblance to her dad.

Billy only drove away when he completed the routine.

Wait 30 seconds.

Listen out for the slamming of doors.

And watch with bated breath, and a sigh of relief as her bedroom light switched on.

“What time do you call this!”

She sighed, walking through the living room, that same musty, damp smell surrounding her senses and giving her perfume a run for its money. 

“You can’t just waltz in whenever you bloody like! I suppose you want me to do your washing, ironing and wipe your arse for you as well?!”

She always did this. Pretending like a conversation never happened. 

For someone who supposedly hated confrontation and just ‘wanted some bloody peace and quiet’, she’d conveniently forget discussions ever happened, so that it would become a disruption to her otherwise perfect life without her daughter around.

She didn’t even hang up her jacket. 

She knew the quickest route to her bedroom. That feeling of dread on the way there. 

“Mum, please, can we not do this”.

“Oh right, it’s never your fault, is it”, she barked back, pushing herself off the sofa, tugging her magenta dressing gown around herself, “you should be grateful I’ve let you come back!”

She tried not to look her in the eye as she made for the stairs, “It’s not like I’m staying”.

“Oh, right, so you’re just gonna leave me? Who fed you and put a roof over your head?”

She climbed the stairs, her mum’s voice fading with every step, and with the distance put between them, the voice eventually died down.

“Just like your bloody father. None of me in you at all”, her mum practically spat the words out.

“Well thank god for that”, she muttered, disappearing behind her familiar bedroom door, shutting out the sound of her mum’s huffs of annoyance and subsequent dramatic exit to the living room.

She could’ve wept when she crossed the threshold into her childhood bedroom, the nostalgic smell of her old Charlie RED hitting her instantly. The bed sheets were still lilac with little white flowers, the bed made exactly how it had been when she’d left for uni all those years ago. 

Her lightshade, once illuminated, was caked in dust. 

Clearly her mum hadn’t been in here either. 

She pulled the window to, the PVC squeaking, watching in a state of surprise as Billy’s Vauxhall drove away from the front of her house. 

A slight smile tugged at her face, briefly void of that lingering sadness and longing she’d felt all evening.

Even though he was only 14 years old, the prickly beginnings of a beard around his jawline and his bean-pole-esque physique made him look older. He stood there, school tie loosened around the several buttons open at the collar, smiling up at her with tilted lips, one hand shoved into his pocket.

Her mum would know if she opened a window, so she just blinked at him and smiled through the double glazing.

‘You okay?’ he mouthed from the street below, his face becoming slightly serious. 

No.

‘I’m okay’ she mouthed back, nodding as if to emphasise her lie.

But she saw it on his face. He didn’t believe her. Never had whenever they did this little ritual. 

And yet he still did it, on the off chance that one day, she’d crack and let her stubbornness slip.

They waved sweetly at each other and she watched his tall form walk idly down the lit street, past the street sign, she finally found it in her heart to sigh, tears feeling hot behind her eyes as she pressed them shut.

She looked down at her phone. 18:25. Only thirteen hours until she would see him again. 

The hours never passed quickly enough.

Her phone buzzed then with a text as if by some silly coincidence. 

She laughed breathily, a wistful sense of loss crashing over her. Sarky bitch.

As if on auto-pilot, Billy drove the short route back to his flat, but at the last second, did an illegal U-turn in the direction of his parent’s house.

He couldn’t face being there again. Where all her stuff was. Facing his mum and dad was easier than the possibility of facing Becky. Whether she was even there or not, it didn’t really matter.

Billy’s mum turned her head, wearing her marigolds and her greying hair up in a ponytail, “Billy duck, you alright? Wasn’t expecting you here”.

He sighed, toeing off his shoes by the porch, “Yeah, sorry to pop in like this so late”.

His mum saw the tired look on his face, his shoulders slouched like the weight of the world was on them. And she needn’t ask him how he was, she could see as clear as anything what was on his mind.

“Cuppa?”

Billy nodded, leaning against the worktop, “Go on then”.

His childhood home hadn’t changed, and he often (especially recently) popped by not only to drop in on his parents, but to in some way escape the tight clutches of adulthood and just…pretend for a while.

That he was a kid again.

When everything seemed so much easier.

"Dad in?" he asked carefully over the hiss of the kettle.

But his mum just gave him a look, "Still out".

It was nearly midnight, and yet, most nights his dad didn't get back home from the social club until gone 2.

Nobody wanted to tell him he had a problem. He had no doubts his mum and Lana had already tried.

The tea tasted of metal and lime scale, and it was PG Tips but he supposed it was better than nothing.

"You staying here tonight?"

Billy nodded once, "If that's alright".

"Course. I've just washed the sheets", his mum smiled at him, her eyes running up and down him as if she couldn't believe her tiny little boy was this tall figure in front of her.

"Should I ask?" 

Billy was quiet, for a long moment, "don't think you need to".

She tutted, "I won't keep going on, Billy. It's like talking to a brick wall sometimes, but you know as well as I do she's never been very nice to you".

He could've rolled his eyes.

As if he didn't know that already.

"I'm aware".

"Did you at least have fun tonight?" she asked, earning a confused glance, "can smell you've had a pint".

It flashed through his mind so quickly, he barely recognised it.

Or rather she did.

"Graduated from the bike sheds then?"

Her fucking smile. Jesus.

For some reason, the sadness he saw in her eyes, had his heart rate skyrocket.

"Yeah, um…was good, ta", he said awkwardly.

"Oh! I heard from Abi's mum your mates back! We should have her over for tea, wouldn't that be nice?"

His mum sounded so excited to see her, he didn't have the heart to explain what happened. He didn't know if he'd ever have the courage.

"Which reminds me, I've still got Mrs Ahmed's tupperware, be a duck and take it next time you see Abi won't ya?"

He nodded, not really listening.

Now wasn't the time to say anything, he thought.

He just wanted to curl up in the bed sheets that smelled of fake jasmine, look up at the ceiling and forget about the world.

And that hopefully Becky's stuff would be gone from the flat by morning.

Maybe this time, he'd be able to stick to it.

Maybe this time he wouldn't beg her to come back. Unable to stand the loneliness.

Billy was barely down the stairs of his family home before his phone was blowing up with notifications. Still all dizzy and bleary from sleep, despite being almost midday, he blinked a few times before looking down at it, thumbing through the wall of names and exclamations with burning eyes.

Billy, is your sister okay??? Text me, please!! Hope you're okay bud. Jesus fucking Christ, please PLEASE tell me your sister is alright!!

A BBC news header flashed at the top of his screen.

Six dead and three injured in suspected terror attack at…

In the hallway, he saw his mum pulling her coat on in a hurry, fannying about (as his dad would say) looking for her keys, looking completely frazzled.

"Mum?"

Her eyes were panicked and wide, "Christ, Billy, sorry, I'm just going to pick u-"

"Eh?"

His dad suddenly brushed past him from behind, keys in hand, his cheeks pink like he was still a bit drunk from the night before but had been forced into action.

"It's Lana, Bill”.

God he fucking hated when his dad called him that. No matter how many times he told him not to call him Bill, or William or Will-

“Nut’s dead”.

He gripped his phone tightly, as if putting a feeling to something.

Nut was dead.

But his sister.

Lana.

Was she okay? Was she hurt?

Had the day come where he'd have to carry her coffin on his shoulder?

He remembered shouting that at her when she said she'd be forming a bomb squad with the Met.

His phone buzzed in his hand again, the one lone notification illuminating the screen. He didn't even have time to react to what his dad just told him.

There was no expectation for him to reply, unlike the other texts. No expletives. No urgency. 

Calm.

He could tell by the way she used entirely lowercase letters, that it was her. It was just a phone number. One he'd deleted a long time ago.

It was clear she hadn't done the same.

i'm here if you need me.

General Taglist: @aemondsfavouritebastard | @bellstwd | @blairfox04 | @hb8301 | @jamespotterismydaddy | @mochi-rose | @nenelysian | @natty2017 | @randomdragonfires | @risefallrise | @theoneeyedprince | @thelittleswanao3 | @tsujifreya | @urmomsgirlfriend1 | @valeskafics | @watercolorskyy | @castellomargot | @buckybarnesb-tch

Billy Washington Taglist: @fan-goddess @assortedseaglass

[lyrakanefanatic]

tig couple hcs part 1: max and xander

OKAY FOR SOME REASON I RANDOMLY WANTED TO MAKE A TIG COUPLES SERIES SO HERES MY FAVS FIRST!!!

———————————————————

• they literally complete each other. xander, although he doesn’t show it, has always been a bit insecure when it comes to dating and didnt know if there was anyone right for him, until he met max 💗

• max told her parents about them dating a few months after they started, but they met like 6-7 months later. xander took it extremely seriously surprisingly, and showed up to her parents house with a suit and a bouquet of tulips (maxs favourite) (oh, and he got a smaller bundle of yellow roses for maxs mom because they represent friendship and/or family 🤭)

• xander loves isaac (max’s brother) and they get along really well

• karaoke nights are ICONIC with these two and they sing the best duets. you bet they’re eating up shallow and every hamilton song to have ever existed

• whenever they have movie nights they make the famous candy salads, and do that tiktok trend thing where they pretend that the candy salad was actually supposed to be a salad to make themselves seem healthy. here’s an example if you don’t know what i mean:

• “xander, are you ready to try this super healthy salad?”

• “you bet i am! i can’t wait to dig in— OH MY GOD!!! ITS ALL CANDY!!”

• “this is disgusting!! but… we can’t waste it.”

• “you’re right max. there are starving children! let’s try this”

• *while they’re eating* “this is NOT the healthy all greens salad we wanted xan 😪”

• “yeah, im SO disappointed.” (while they’re throwing handfuls of nerds gummy clusters onto their mouths)

• although avery and libby were the first people max told about her and xander dating, nash was the first person xander told about him and max dating.

• jk. nash found out because he walked in on him and max kissing and then xander told everyone in fear that nash would first. 💀

• they have SO. MANY. inside jokes it’s not even funny. sometimes at hawthorne family dinners, max will pick up a napkin or something and say some weird dumb statement to xander and they’ll both burst out laughing and get shot dirty looks by the laughlins and every older hawthorne that lives at hawthorne house

• max actually didn’t really like xander at first (although she found him attractive) because she was worried for avery, and when she had first got to the hawthorne house, she used to wander the halls just looking around, like the curious cat she is. one day, xander sees her wandering and pops up in front of her, and max, who was taken by surprise, pulls her fist back and punched him right in the throat. he was wheezing on the ground for 5 minutes straight. (she apologized so many times)

• at their wedding, xander mentioned this ⬆️⬆️ story in his vows with a cheesy line, like: “maxine liu, when I first met you, you took my breath away. literally. you punched me in the throat.” and made everybody there laugh (at the after party, nash made him explain the whole story)

• max snores and is a terrible sleeper, but thankfully xander falls asleep really quickly, so by the time she’s got her book away and is creating so much noise that it sounds like an elephant orchestra has taken residence in her mouth, xander’s already asleep

• they wear custom made matching hoodies. xanders says “when unsure, ask for max’s opinion” and max’s hoodie just says “max”.

• ⬆️ doesn’t really work the best when they’re not together LOL

• xander has woken up to max’s giggles at 3 am when she’s reading and the enemies become loversss 🤭🤭

• they eat enough food combined at thanksgiving dinner to make all of texas starve

• on the rare occasions that xander visits maxs house, he always takes seconds and thirds at dinner because he just loves her moms cooking so much

• when xander heard her swear for the first time, he was so taken aback that he just stared at her like this for 2 minutes straight:

——————————————————————————

OKAY THATS ALL!!!

LEMME KNOW WHAT COUPLE I SHOULD DO NEXT BECAUSE I LOVED MAKING HCS FOR THESE TWO 💗💗💗

[they-stare-i-ship]

I finished reading the atlas paradox

and now you're subjected to my SPOILERY thoughts.

Parisa Kamali: I love Parisa, I have loved her since the first book. I LIKE HER SO MUCH she's funny she's mean she's cool she's kind. She's incredibly powerful. She's so interesting and I really enjoyed how she slowly became "her royal softness". Whenever we have her pov it's so fun. I love how she's not scared of Atlas and how she challenged him. I can't wait to see what she does in the next book. I'm actually excited to see how Dalton has changed and how she reacts to them in the next book. Her relationship with Nico makes me so feel so nice. I also need her to be kiss Reina sometime in the next book.

Nico de Varona: he's been my annoying lil baby since the first book. I loved how he became more fleshed out in this book. I loved how lonely he got, his relationship with Reina and Tristan really intrigues me. HE'S SUCH A CHILD sometimes and I love him for it. Obviously I have spent the two books insane bc I knew he was in love with Gideon, I just knew it and they're just *chef's kiss* also speaking of his relationship with people, I think him and Libby will be stunning as besties, I truly cannot perceive them as romantic. They act so sibling like or even just asshole bestie like.

Reina Mori: when we started with this series I actually had more hopes from her. I feel like she didn't do much (especially in book 2) and my girl really doesn't understand communication. If she just talked to people sigh. But honestly her God thing, I am down. Go off, I'm excited to see her go off the rails bc people didn't talk to her the way she could have understood. I am low-key in love with how funny the duo of Reina and Callum is, tbh. I also get major ace vibes from her.

Libby Rhodes: honestly she was my second least favourite amount the six when we started. She desperately needed the corruption arc we got in the later half of the book. I think I will like her a lot more now. Her crush on belen was stunning to read. I can't wait for Libby to fuck shit up, literally fuck everyone up. And I genuinely truly deeply want her relationship with Nico to just be friendship. Friendships are equally as important and the fact that the universe made them parallel to eachother is my favourite thing.

Callum Nova: honestly I didn't really like him much during the first book, he was fine but we had more interesting characters. BUT DAMN CALLUM NOVA POST HEARTBREAK?? ~~ exquisite ~~ he's so fucking funny and hopeless and sad and pathetic. he is so desperate for love and so upset that he was denied it. He's my pathetic lil meow meow. Also I would LOVE to see him use his powers more in the future. As we keep learning about it, I keep loving him. Also I need Tristan to beg Callum to take him back.

Tristan Caine: actually I didn't enjoy his povs at all in the first book, I couldn't wait for them to be over. He is still my least favourite among the six but in the second book he was more interesting and fun. I'm a lil anxious of how Atlas is gonna use him and his powers. I don't care much of him but I want him to beg Callum or regret it for the rest of his existence. Also I hate LibbyTristan as a romantic permanent thing, they can fuck around and have fun but pls end at that.

Gideon Drake: I have loved him since day 1. He was the softer kinder balance to Nico's aggressive and abrasiveness. He is so interesting, his origin and his powers. I spent both the book wishing we had more of him. Now that we are out of the library maybe he'll get to play a more active role in the book. I am obsessed with Gideon (bc Nico is obsessed with Gideon) I love the tidbits we learn about Gideon like how Libby always liked him more or how max travelled with him for the rescue of the "prince". I want Gideon to have everything he wants, that's all.

Atlas Blakeley: I have been thinking of Giancarlo Esposito as Atlas the entire time. There's no explanation it's just vibes

Ezra: I'm glad he's dead 💖

[picturejasper20]

Danny Phantom needed better arcs (or why The Ghost and Molly Mcgee did it better)

I have been reading some old posts from Monotype on phantom, mainly those that talk about continuity and how Danny Phantom should have had better written arcs, with having plot threads and characters arcs being left open and often with no proper closure. In these posts Danny Phantom gets compared to series like Steven Universe and Gravity Falls in terms of how these shows use pacing and development to tell their stories.

So i was thinking since i usually talk about parallels between Danny Phantom and The Ghost and Molly Mcgee, why not compare the two? And you would think ¨why are you comparing an action superhero show to a more comedy slice of life show?¨ And let me tell you, considering what The Ghost and Molly Mcgee was able to pull off, i think it is more than fair to do this comparison.

I assume that most of my followers know what Danny Phantom is so i won't dive into what the series is about. In The Ghost and Molly Mcgee's case, for those who don't know, it is a series about Molly McGee and her family moving to an old house where a ghost named Scratch lives is in. Molly and Scratch become best friends over the course of the series, something that brings them issues along the way. While the series is more comedy slice of life, it has arcs that get explored through the show and there is a constant change in the characters and the world itself.

Having explained that, lets move to the comparison between these shows: I think it would be good to start with Danny Phantom trio development (Danny, Sam, Tucker) vs The Ghost and Molly Mcgee ¨Comet trio¨ (Molly, Scratch and Libby) development in the first season of each show.

So Danny as main character gets plenty of episodes about him. Some good examples of these are "Attack of the Killer Garage Sale", "What You Want", "Bitter Reunions", "My Brother's Keeper" and "Teacher of the Year". He gets an overall arc in the firsy season and the series as a whole. We can agree that in that way he is a well developed character.

But what about Sam and Tucker? Sam has "Parental Bonding", "Control Freaks" and maybe "Fanning the Flames". Tucker has "What You Want" and some in "Teacher of the Year" They also have some B plots that explore their characters in some episodes too...

However, they don't really feel that well developed? They don't even seem like to have a proper arc in contrast to Danny this season. Just some good scenes here and there.

In contrast The Ghost and Molly Mcgee has the three characters from the Comet Trio developing and changing through the season. -Molly has different episodes about learning to respect other people's boundaries better ("Mazel Tov, Libby!", "Ready, Set, Snow!") or how being positive all the time isn't always a good thing ( "All Systems No") -Libby has a whole arc about learning to overcome some of her anxieties and insecurities until she grows to be more confident of herself ( "Mazel Tov, Libby!" and "Talent Show") and she has episodes that explore other sides of her character. ( "Monumental Disaster", "Festival of Lights") -And Scratch- i could write a lot about him but he has some character growth every other episode and the changes he goes through Season 1 alone are very noticeable. He is a characters who just develops a lot in the series.

Overall, i think it is fair to say that the Comet Trio from The Ghost and Molly Mcgee is more developed and has better arcs when compared to the Phantom trio from Danny Phantom

Another example of this is how Valerie Gray and Ollie Chen character arcs get handled in both respective series. Both start as semi antagonists that are ghosthunters who fall in love with the main teenager character and hate ghosts but gradually change their views about it through the show.

The main difference is how Ollie Chen has more of a complete character arc while Valerie Gray doesn't.

Valerie was going through some good development around Season 1 and Season 2 with her motivations being explored and her relationship with Danny changing over time. She gets some good episodes on Season 1 and a few in the first half of Season 2. The problem is that after the "Flirting with Disaster" the show seemed to forget about Valerie for around half of its run until the penultimate episode of the series "D-Stabilized". And even then she never gets a proper conclusion to her learning about Danny being Phantom nor able to regret her past actions from previous episodes. She doesn't get to have speaking lines in the series finale ¨Phantom Planet¨ neither.

Comparing Valerie to Ollie Chen, it doesn't take too long for Ollie to learn that Molly has been hiding she has a ghost (Scratch) as her best friend. He learns about this near the end of the episode ¨I Wanna Dance with Some-Ollie¨.

This leaves him emotionally crushed and that gets explored in later episodes with him learning that all ghosts aren't evil and he changes his views about them. ("Frightmares on Main Street", "The Unhaunting of Brighton Video") He later has episodes that he confronts his family about these views they have too like "Welcome to NecroComic-Con".

I do have my issues with Ollie as character but one thing i can give him is that he has a completed character arc by the end of Season 2. He learns to overcome his hatred of ghosts and reflect on his past actions, trying to be better over time.

I think one factor is that The Ghost and Molly Mcgee had less issues with changing the status quo than Danny Phantom did. What happens in one episode can have an impact on later episodes and the characters change in these. This is because these shows came during different times but also that Tgamm had its characters arcs and development better planned from the start. Danny Phantom episodes were just written as the production went along and a lot of times the team didn't have a clear plan in mind of where things should go.

That doesn't mean that The Ghost and Molly Mcgee isn't without its flaws. Season 2 is kind of a mess in how it handles its arcs and some things should have been better paced. In spite of that, i think the series in a lot of ways did a better job at using continuity and arcs than what Danny Phantom did. There are more examples i could cite but these ones are the closest that come to mind to do this comparison.

[notsofriendlyfriendlyreminder]

Here is my take on The Atlas trilogy characters after reading the first two books.

SPOILERS YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Libby Rhodes - I find her type characters annoying, but omg I loved her in The Atlas Paradox, and while I ind Ezra interesting, you go girl kill his ass. Also I need more of her alone, mainly using her power alone, but I want to see that from both her and Nico, while they're both physicists, I think it would be cool to see even more differences between them.

Nico de Varona - I feel so bad for my man his boyfriend is being hunted and his girlfriend got kidnapped and his bestie is having god complex issues LMAO, no seriously love him, liked him in the first book, loved him even more in the second, him AND GIDEON love it. Also nearly cried when it was said how alone my guy is, he needs family and he will look for it no matter what

Reina Mori - her god complex is so fun yet so crazy to watch unfold, while she is on the side I think her inner monologue is very interesting to read. Not my favourite character, but she and Callum are imo a great duo, need more of them. She and Parisa should just kiss and be besties.

Parisa Kamali - An icon, a legend, gave us the spiciest scenes in the book so we love her for that. Her power and character is perfect, mainly her decline and her helping my boy Nico. Didn't care for her and Dalton that much (overall I didn't care for Dalton) BUT very excited to see more of true Dalton (The prince?) in book 3

Tristan Caine - GET YOUR FUCKING DADDY ISSUES IN CHECK PLS AND THANK YOU!!!! Jk I love all my bitches equally, but him getting so close to all male figures in his life... nope, him and Atlas could make an unstoppable duo but worry not! His gf is back :) Overall Tristan was always a very hit or miss character for me, can't put a finger on why.

Callum Nova - I love him, like forreal, he is my new obsession, he is absolutely hilarious, I love his energy, the shit he causes, he is there to just do shit and I live for it!! Also made me cry, and you know I love blonde bitches that make me cry (cough cough Howl). Overall I need to read more books about Callum Nova type characters, because yes please. Also dw you don't have to hide your hairline from me I will cure your alcohol addiction <333

Ezra Fowler - girlbossed too close to the sun, very interesting tho, but I love Libby more

Gideon - LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVEEEE pls stop talking to your mama

[the5n00k]

An observation about TGAMM The End

Big big spoilers ahead, click away if you aren't caught up

This is also my first NEGATIVE TGAMM analysis post! Wowie! So if you don't want to see me bitch, also click off now

The End and how Molly McGee's character was disrespected

The End is. An episode. I have many MANY thoughts about it but it would be far too long to put in one post so I'm going to explore one of my more reoccurring opinions. This episode recontextualized a lot of things but I'm going to talk about how it recontextualized Molly as a character. Most importantly as a MAIN character. A TITLE character. A character with her own past and personality and feelings. All of which this episode completely stomped all over, handed her the check, and said "figure it out"

I want to apologize to my friend who called this so SO much earlier into the series and that he had to listen to me watch this show on lethal amounts of copium. You were right but I knew neither of us wanted you to be.

Now let's get into the meat of it, shall we?

All throughout season 1, Molly's history and relationship with the concept of friends is always treated with complete sincerity and the emotional pause it needs to sink in with the audience that she's been through it. Moving away and leaving friends is why she put so much importance on the "forever home" in the first place because she's had to leave so many people she loved. She had a rocky beginning with Scratch during the early season but quickly became on equal footing with him as they began to understand each other and their boundaries. Because she genuinely cares about him. Similarly, season 2 explores the boundaries of their friendship and shows Scratch more willing to participate in whatever Molly is doing, even begging sometimes to be included. And Molly is very patient and kind with him all throughout trying to help him regain memories of his past. And Scratch actually reciprocated a few times like helping her learn Thai and working with Libby to set her up with Ollie. They're the closest they've ever been and something I can confidently call true best friends, possibly the closest and healthiest friendship I've seen portrayed in media. Season 2 showcases how far either of them are willing to go to help each other.

Then The End happened.

Molly is the same understanding and supportive friend as she had been all season, almost to a fault. She encourages scratch to go back to his life, knowing the risks that come with it. Why did there need to be the risk of forgetting her when his spirit didn't immediately forget his living life? Don't know. Something to do with an unreleased episode although I doubt the rest of season 3 would have sweetened my opinion of this episode. Only she knew he was about to do this, she didn't talk to any of his other friends or family before he went out to Todd's house. They only found out after the fact and the next morning is when he left. None of them had any time to process that they just lost a family member, especially not Molly.

The scene where he's talking to her on the bench breaks my heart. Knowing your friend is no longer there and is replaced with this stranger. So much of this episode would have been fixed to just let him keep his memories. Considering how hard it was to pull his living memories out of his spirit, it's very likely that even the small fragments of her he remembers will slowly fade away. She had to do the one thing she never wanted to do again and repeat the same pain that's plagued her for the entire series. And it sucks! Why doesn't she get a happy ending? Hell, I'm not even convinced this was a "happy ending" for scratch since he can't remember any of the people he just spent the last two years with.

The biggest slap to the face is when Libby, Geoff, and the McGees come up behind Molly and just act like all of this is fine? They're treating scratch like this wild animal that deserved to be released into the wild because he could never fit in with society when he was PERFECTLY HAPPY with the McGees. He proudly displayed to the entire ghost world that he was an "honorary McGee" and told a ghost hunter to his face that him and Molly would do anything for each other despite their differences. Was all of that completely pointless? Because it sure feels that way. He had this entire new "life" he just completely abandoned because oh I guess I'm not really dead. Guess I better go reconnect with my childhood friend I haven't seen in person or had any meaningful conversations with in decades!!! See ya, chumps, hope you weren't attached to me or anything!

It's so disrespectful to the audience's investment in Molly and Scratch's friendship, the themes of friendship overcoming all odds and lasting forever, and Molly as a character. And to a lesser degree, it's even disrespectful to Scratch since most of the season he spent brooding over the fact that he didn't remember his past! Now he's forgotten a large portion of his "life" all over again. Now he's going to have to live with this nagging itch at the back of his mind that he's forgetting something until he manages to completely repress it too. And to rub salt in the wound, the credits don't have near sight nor mention of Molly McGee outside of a painted portrait of her and (spirit) scratch. All this does is tell me a LONG time has passed and neither of them have managed to successfully contact each other. The dream team is gone, this is a story about a girl and a ghost and none of it meant anything.

"he'll remember when he dies again!" Where does it say that

"he didn't forget, he said Moll! That means something!" The longer he spends away from the McGees and Brighton, the more likely he is to completely forget them altogether. The vague memories will eventually fade away and every "forever memory" will be worthless.

"it doesn't matter, this is Scratch's story" then why isn't it called 'scratch and the human girl'? Or 'the scratch show'? Why is Molly a title character if she's nothing but a plot device for his character development.

"Molly had to learn how to say goodbye." No she didn't. She's been doing that her entire life. She's pretty well aware of how to say goodbye. Making her relive 13 years of trauma from the other side of the vehicle doors is not a useful life skill. Pain is not necessary to grow up.

I don't care what the excuse is. This was a terrible ending for both characters and no amount of "he's happy now!" coping from both the fans and the writers is going to get me to see this any other way. If you enjoy the episode, great! I'm happy for you, there's a lot to love in the music and voice acting and breathtaking animation. But none of that could save me from this abysmal attempt at a series finale. I was so viscerally disgusting by this as a finale that I spent a good two days completely nauseous thinking about it. What a disaster. The sad part is I like the story potential! Him reuniting with Adia is what I've wanted for him all season so he could get closure. Molly and Scratch having to say goodbye is heartbreaking but understandable, a lot of shows nowadays end that way and I half expected it. But him completely forgetting the girl he owes his new lease on life to? My gosh it's just a deal breaker. It is such a cruel end for these characters and I cannot wrap my head around why they thought it was a good idea outside of cheap angst.

I wanted to like this episode and I still do. But they just did so much wrong when one thing could change and it would have completely flipped my opinion on the episode and series in general. But what do I know, I'm just a negative nancy.

Anyway idk how to end this off, justice for Molly McGee, Scratch deserved to be called Scratch McGee, kill Todd Mortenson, peace out

[mafiasliege]

I dare you to let me go

(this is part 2 of my fic. Enjoy reading!)

Part 1 ↓

JAMESON

Jameson was standing in a maze. Green bushes everywhere. And whichever way he went, the end was green too. Except now. Now, a 5"6' hazel-eyed brunette was standing there.

"Heiress." He tried taking a step toward her, but the distence seemed to stay the same, maybe it was getting bigger. "Where are we?"

"Not we. You. You seem… stuck."

"I'm not stuck. I'm-"

"-fine? Is that your latest lie? Then why am I here, Jameson? again?"

Where was he? And why did Avery seem younger?

"It's not a lie, heiress." Jameson was starting to get angry now, he turned around and started walking away. Avery- or the girl who at least looked like her- spoke louder.

"I'm not her, you know. Maybe the real one doesn't even exist anymore."

"Shut up."

"Maybe she just-"

"Shut up!-"

"Jamie, I'm gonna start yoddling loudly until you get your ass out here!" That was Xander, but Jameson had no regard for a yoddling threat between his gasping for air like a drowning man. Apparently, the things that plagued him during the day had started following him into his sleep now.

He pushed away the sheets and picked up his shirt from the night before. Under it was that box. They same green box. How long had he had it now? An year? Two? And did it matter, really?

You're fine. Just get this done.

-------------------------------------------------

Jameson got dressed and got to the room. He was surprisingly on time, the only reason being Xander making good on his threat to yoddle. He was actually decent at it, but annoying, nonetheless.

"Do you believe you're being paid to arrange a funeral?" Grayson's tone walked the line between a question and an accusation.

"I need this entire-"

"That's enough! Thank you" Lyra inserted herself in the conversation and dragged Grayson away by his arm from the event planners, who went back to doing their thing.

The dinner last night may have been non-existent the last straw a disaster, but this party's going to be epic. Besides, Avery would at least be home for at least a while on her own birthday, right? She'd promised.

Jameson helped himself to one of the appetizers on the long table covered in platinum and shades of violet. He hadn't had breakfast. After everything was set, he excused himself to the garage and tried calling Avery.

"Your call has been-"

"You're call has-"

"You're ca-"

He plunked his phone down with force. Luckily, it landed on the soft leather of the Valkyrie's seat.

"You alright there?" Nash. It was Nash. Why was everyone so concerned all of a sudden? Avery had just missed her own birthday that he'd planned for days. Not a big deal. At all. Janeson rolled down the car's window glass.

"I am fine."

"You're staying to sound more like Gray than Gray used to himself," Nash took that as his cue to get in the passanger seat.

"Whatever you and Avery have going on, just talk to-"

"Do you think I haven't tried?" It came out slow with a hint of frustration. They were face to face now. "There's always another call, there's always another problem, there's always another person expecting the most from her and she's trying to live up to them more and more."

To that, Nash had no answer. They just say like that for a while.

"Try talking to her today. She might just listen." He patted Jamie on the shoulder and got out.

-------------------------------------------------

"I can't feel my faxing legs," Max whispered, sitting in a crouch. After a long day of planning Avery's party, everyone was sitting in a crouch waiting for her to come and surprise her.

"Sit on me, then," Xander whispered back to her.

"Oh, get a room you two!" Libby whisper-yelled at them, just as the door rattled.

"SURPRISE!!"

"Oh, my God!" Said… Mrs. Laughlin, who almost dropped the tray of crab cakes in her hands.

"Ugh. I can't crouch for much longer! Where is this beach?" Max whimpered, kicking her feet.

After two hours, all the dishes were half-empty, the wine half-drunk, and half the people previously in the room had dispersed.

"So-"

"Before you say what your about to say, Gray, just like everyone else in this house, I'm okay, and so is Avery."

Grayson frowned. "I've been where you are, Jamie. If you have to keep telling yourself you're okay, you definitely aren't."

Jameson felt Grayson call out to him as he stormed out walked away.

He was done. He was so done. With his brothers' concern, with Lyra's unnecessary inputs.

With Avery.

The floodgates were open now, just like the door of his bathroom as he slammed it back shut. He was angry, no, frustrated. He was frustrated at the dinner, he was frustrated as he threw the green box from his pocket at the sink, he was frustrated as he felt the mirror shatter beneath his knuckles. He could suddenly see a thousand reflections of himself. But every reflection in every piece of the shattered mirror was a shell of what Jameson Hawthorne used to be. How he used to be.

He staggered back, still staring at his reflections until his back hit the door as he slowly sunk to the floor. And just like that, the tears and the memories came rushing out to the surface.

"Maybe the real one doesn't even exist anymore."

"She told me she's going to make it up to you"

"If you have to keep telling yourself you're okay, you definitely aren't."

"How many times have you had your heart broken over the last five years?"

And with the painful memories and the exploding bottled up feelings came crystal clarity, for the first time in a long time.

I can't do this anymore.

Loving Avery had made him love himself too, it made him realise his self-worth. He got to see what he deserved. But this, right now? He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to pretend to be happy. He didn't deserve to settle for a shell of what him and Avery used to be. He always says he can't imagine a life without Avery, maybe that was never a good thing. He had to start living for himself.

And there was only one way to do that.

[berryz-writes]

Your the only one for me

(part 1)

SOOO THIS TOOK A WHILE. sorry xx. also THANK YOU 🤍 (a lot of requests have been made based off of this request so I'm making it into one long fic x)

Summary: You find something suspicious on Grayson's phone and confront him about it. During your argument you get seriously injured. Is it all a misunderstanding or is he just using you?

Grayson Hawthorne x reader

It was Thanksgiving weekend. A time for family and friends. For loved ones to gather and enjoy good food and share stories and memories. At the moment Xander was explaining the story of how the two of us had paired up in a robotics competition, in which I had screwed something wrong resulting in an explosion and causing our professor to ban us from robotics club. This happened almost 3 months ago and he was still hurt about being banned from the club. He was now explaining how he was starting his own club. And apparently I was not invited.

Grayson's hand rested on my thigh, a comforting gesture and something that helped me stay calm in such a chaos of a family dinner. It wasn't exactly a "family dinner" seen as though half the people weren't even here. It was a more get together dinner with Xander, Jameson, Avery, Grayson and me. Nash was out somewhere with Libby and Max was actually trying to get a few projects done, surprisingly.

Thanksgiving was actually in 2 days time but according to Jameson "It's never too early to get together". This also meant he had probably planned something that included more than 4 people to play. I didn't mind. It gave me an excuse to forget about my deadlines for abit and spend time with Grayson.

*A few hours later*

I watched as Grayson finally came to stop in front of me in the pool, smiling up at me. I refused to go any further into the water and just let my legs dangle slightly in. Besides watching Grayson swim with his muscles on show like that was always nice to watch.

"You should join me. It's warm" He said, his height being enough for him to stand with the water coming up to his chest.

I shook my head "Who wants to voluntarily swim? It's like saying let's go on a treadmill, it's fun"

Grayson let out a laugh "It's not entirely like that sweetheart. But fine" Before I could say anything a notification popped up on Grayson's phone. It was too far back for him to get it so I grabbed it for him. Because I was nosy and my eyes immediately went to see who the notification was from, I immediately wished I could turn back time and pretend I had never seen it.

A notification from Sophie that read *I had so much fun yesterday. We should definitely do it again.😏*

I didn't give him the phone, instead I held it tightly in my hand and showed him his screen.

"Who is this?" I asked, trying so hard to not get angry and see reason to what was happening. Grayson's smile dropped and immediately became confused. He ran a hand through his hair

"It's just Sophie. She does the photography exhibit with me" He said after a while.

I put his phone down, although what I really wanted to do was throw it into the pool. I stood up and looked at him in disgust. I thought he'd have better morals than cheating on someone. Especially someone they had said they loved.

"Just Sophie? Is she the reason why you came home at two in the morning yesterday? Or the reason why you haven't been telling me anything whenever I ask you?"

Grayson looked up at me, still in the pool. "Sweetheart. I was at the photography exhibit, finishing things off." He had gone pale and was frozen in place.

I scoffed. He just kept thinking if he made the same excuse I would believe it "Well I'm finishing things between us SO YOU CAN GO SPEND TIME WITH SOPHIE LIKE THE LYING FUCKING CHEAT YOU ARE" I felt tears make their way down my cheek as I walked away into the darkness, half running and half stumbling because I couldn't see a thing with my tears cascading down.

Why was I crying? It was just a breakup. I was trying to justify it all but really I was crying because I didn't expect it. I was crying because I thought if things ever ended between the two of us it would be on good terms. Not him cheating. I loved him. I probably still did and that's what hurt most. When had he started seeing someone else?

Did it start just last week when we had our date? Or had it been months now and I was just too oblivious to see it all? My heart hurt so much it was unbearable. I wanted to rip it out and ignore the reality of it all.

I walked in a daze to the room me and Grayson shared and tried to get everything of mine into my bag. Luckily because I was a lazy bitch I hadn't even unpacked yet. It's like I knew this was going to happen. Putting my hair brush into my side bag and looking around the room one more time I wheeled my suitcase to the stairs.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't. Imagine, the one person who loved you thinking you aren't worthy enough. I spent so much of my time and effort into loving Grayson wholeheartedly and what did I get back? Heartbreak.

I sat down on the top most stair and let the tears flow until there were no more. The pain in my heart receding to a dull ache in my chest. I wasn't ready to see him but there he was, looking up at me with sad eyes and a regretful expression.

"Y/n. Please. Don't leave" His hair was still wet, his swimming shorts were still on and he had pulled on a shirt. I wanted to throw my suitcase down at him and have him hug me all at once. Why did he have to cheat? Was I not good enough?

I didn't feel like talking to him so instead I stood up and kept my expression blank. As if he didn't faze me at all. Before I had even touched my suitcase Grayson came running up the stairs and stopped in front of me "Please y/n. Let me explain. I love you. How could you think I'd cheat on you? Why would I? Your perfect." He explained.

I shook my head, not wanting to look him in the eyes. If I did I might start crying again "I saw the message. Don't lie to me" I pulled on my suitcase. He gently grabbed my arm, not letting me move any further. His touch was so soft and warm. I used to love it. He brought me so much comfort. But now I hated it. He had probably kissed and hugged Sophie just like he did me. I wasn't anyone special to him. I don't know why I thought I was.

Gritting my teeth together I yanked my arm away "don't touch me"

As soon as the words left me I looked up at him, breaking my vow of not looking into his grey eyes. I felt bad. I felt bad for hurting him even though he was the one cheating on me. His arm slowly dropped back to his side, his lips parting in surprise at my harsh words.

"Please, sweetheart. I-" His voice broke. I couldn't stand here any longer. Swallowing the pain and tears I lifted the suitcase, underestimating it's heaviness. Without warning the suitcase tipped forward, pushing me off the landing, my weight propelling me forward to crash and roll down the flight of stairs, banging my head and every limb in my body on the way. I couldn't feel anything. My vision had gone black and I didn't even know if my eyes were open or not. I couldn't tell where I was. I could only feel the discomfort of the position I was in. My breathing was sharp and heavy as if I couldn't get in enough oxygen. My brain felt as if it had been hammered and my back felt like it was being crushed under a heavy weight. I wanted to sit up. I wanted to breathe properly again.

[wyn-n-tonic]

Books by Black Authors for Black History Month!

I wanted to share a list of books I love and books that I'm looking forward to reading that are by Black authors in acknowledgement of Black History Month. I feel like a lot of my fellow readers (especially my fellow white readers) always go into a, kind of, reading slump in February and I don't know if that's because the month of January is just ten years long that February feels like a hangover or if it's because they feel the desire to read books by Black authors but then the majority of what is marketed is usually books that are steeped in trauma or nonfiction books. And, like, yeah, nonfiction books are so important but when they're the only kind of book marketed it can make finding the other kinds of books that much harder but I believe that if you read the fun books and the happy books and the fantasy books it will make you want to seek out the nonfiction resources. I'm blabbering so long story short, I thought I would make a little list to do some of the legwork for my fellow readers to find stories that they can check out.

I used GoodReads links (and one StoryGraph) link, you can choose who to purchase from yourself (although I will suggest BookShop.org as your purchase does go towards indie bookstores, I also really like the Libby App which is just your library and it works with your Kindle/Nook/Kobo/iPad). All authors that I have included in this are American or have strong ties to the USA which is why I did not include authors such as Bolu Babalola, Talia Hibbert, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie but I do highly recommend checking them out if you haven't because they do write gorgeously.

Kennedy Ryan has an extensive backlog and beautiful writing, beautiful prose. She had a book called Before I Let Go (Skyland #1) come out in November 2022, it is a second chance romance between a married couple. It has been on my shelf forever, the cover is beautiful and I've heard nothing but truthfully incredible things. I have listened to snippets of the audiobook but keep putting off getting the actual audiobook because Kennedy is the kind of author I want to read the grammar, syntax, wording of everything from. This book actually got optioned to be adapted into a television show and there's a second Skyland book coming out in March called This Could Be Us that has the ARC readers going wild.

Jasmine Guillory is one of my favorite authors. She is a Bay Area native and has a law degree from Stanford. Not only do I think that she writes beautifully but I cannot even describe to you the way that I kick my little feet and twirl my hair. I feel like my favorite of hers changes. Up until a few weeks ago, I would've told you that Olivia Monroe in Party of Two was my favorite Jasmine girly but I listened to Royal Holiday to kick off my reading for January and Vivian Forest is such a beautiful character. She's a 56 year old Black woman who is a veteran social worker who thinks it's too late for her on several fronts and then she gets swept off her feet while on a vacation with her daughter AND THE ROYAL FAMILY. What?! I also think that Jasmine writes, like.... character appropriate sex scenes if that makes sense. Like, Vivian's scenes are more reserved than Olivia's were, Vivian's more closed door than Olivia's were. She also has a Beauty and the Beast inspired book called By The Book and I kept texting my friend the entire way through and then made her buy a copy so she could text me right back with all her thoughts. Amazing. I love her.

You want cozy fantasy romance with monsters and happy Black women being loved by their hot monster lovers? Kimberly Lemming has GOT YOU COVERED.

Plugging my new author friend P.J. Leigh and her book Olawu. She actually responded to my request for some indie author recs on Threads and sent me a copy of Olawu that will be here on Friday and I'm so excited. She describes it as: "Set in precolonial East Africa with romance, action, sisterhood, found family, and a feisty but flawed female lead." I cannot wait to dig into this one.

Another author who messaged me is indie author Quiana Glide. Her bio is that she is an unabashed fangirl and her books feature pregnancy trope, cosplay, professional wrestlers and cafe owners solving murders. Her books sound fucking great and they are available on Kindle Unlimited for my KU girlies (gender neutral).

Celestine Martin messaged me as well and she writes paranormal romance with Black witches, emo mermen and fae princes. I tripped over myself running to my Libby app to place a hold on the audiobook.

25 to Love! by Joye Johnson is another one available on Kindle Unlimited for my KU girlies (gender neutral). The synopsis is: "TV's hottest dating show is '25 to Love!'. To nab a guy from her past, Lola signs on as the token girl of color. All's fair in love and ratings--can a week on TV get Lola closer to the one that got away?" You know what I love? Second chance romances, besties, that's right.

Splinter by Jasper Hyde was another I was recommended. Jasper writes paranormal, LGBTQ+ books. Jasper Hyde is a pen name for Georgina Kiersten who also goes by Rian Fox. The pen name denotes the subgenre that they write. Georgina does go by they/them pronouns and writes plus sized rep and neurodivergent rep too.

Kelly Cain. That's it. That's the tweet. THE EVERHEART BROTHERS SERIES????? If you know anything about me, you know that I have a hearing issue and so I've used audiobooks before but I never really clicked with them or got the hype. Turns out I had boring ass narrators (look I did the audio version of a lot of nonfiction books I had to read about old dead white guys in college so of course I had that feeling). THE EVERHEART BROTHERS AUDIOBOOKS ARE WHAT CHANGED ME. Deanna Anthony, the narrator, is so engaging and I didn't feel like I was listening to an audiobook, I felt like I was sitting across the table at brunch having a gossip session with my bestie. If you read it and you didn't like it, that's fine, but I didn't lie to you and enjoyment of art is subjective but also you're wrong and argue with a wall.

I've been seeing a lot of talk lately about Pride & Protest by Nikki Payne. This is a Pride & Prejudice and one of the reviews says, "If you ever wanted P&P to feel more like watching a swoony, steamy episode of Insecure, this is the book for you."

Currently, I am reading You Made a Fool of Death With Your Beauty by Akwaeke Emezi. It deals with themes of grief and romance and also bisexual representation. Absolutely beautiful prose. Akwaeke is Nigerian and has been in the USA since college. They are non-binary and go by they/them pronouns.

I also cannot end this list without mentioning Memphis by Tara M. Stringfellow. This follows three generations of a southern Black family in the neighborhood of Douglass in Memphis, TN (I was born a couple miles away in Raleigh) . Now, this book does have quite a few trigger warnings that I won't put here but I do encourage you to READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS before you purchase this book as it does deal with some pretty heavy subject matter.

I'm also going to end this by saying to keep an eye out for anything done by my best friend, the person who I have shared so many amazing, beautiful, life changing experiences with ALL OVER THE WORLD for the last fourteen years: Isana Skeete (Isana does not use pronouns). If you look at the GoodReads account for Isana that I linked, you'll see lists made with recommendations of books with queer POC rep and asexuality representation.

[performativezippers]

I've been writing fic for a bit more than ten years now; most of which (eight? nine?) as a pantser. At most I'd make a timeline, for a complicated timey-wimey, wibbly-wobbly fic, but other than that, I just daydreamed the story and then wrote it down 😅

Then in the last couple of years, I tried to learn more about the craft of writing. I never had any training in school or uni, never any class or anything; I did work with a writing coach for a while two years back, and read a lot of advice. I've started to plan stories out more, to be more intentional about what I write -

But I have now run into a problem that I heard pantsers describe, which is that when they plan out the story till the end, they feel like it's done, and the impetus to write it just drops away.

I think I'm still right in the middle of finding my writing approach, which - on the one hand, exciting! I'm learning more about myself, that's always good! But on the other hand, I'm sad about the projects I was working on that I have somehow run out of steam on. I do have other projects that I still am excited to write, but I'm a bit worried I might lose interest in them too as I try to find the right balance between planning and pantsing.

IIRC you are a pantser, right? Any advice on how to not get ahead of myself when I approach a new story? How to keep pace between the dreaming-up of the story, and the writing-it-down?

OMG this is the question!! I am absolutely a proud member of pantser nation, yes, and I'll tell you what works for me, but I do honestly think this is something that (sadly) each person has to figure out for themselves via trial and error.

Terminology for those who don't know:

Pantser: someone who writes by the "seat of their pants," aka no outline, no real clue what happens next. The joy is in the journey!

Plotter: someone who plots everything out before hand, like by outlining or using scene cards or something. The joy is in knowing the journey before you start!

Most people are somewhere in the middle, or vary project by project. There are lots of names for it, like plantser or "headlight method" or whatever, but basically you can think of it as the Kinsey scale, with 1 being solely pantser, 2 as leaning pantser, 3 as equally both, 4 as leaning plotter, and 5 as solely plotter.

I'm a 1.5 I'd say, the 0.5 being from having to learn story beats in order to sell original fiction to traditional publishers, which means things like "the breakup should happen around 80% of the way through" and "inciting incident at 0 or 10%." If that doesn't make sense to anyone reading, don't worry, it doesn't need to! (But if you have questions about story beats, feel free to ask!)

As a true pantser, I typically know the following things before I start. I'll give an example from a long fic I've written and for a book that none of you have read because it hasn't gotten bought yet (SADFACE).

I know the characters and some basic facts about them and their relationship pre-story:

Back to the basket: Alex is a closeted college basketball coach who washed out of the WNBA (life based on Adia Barnes). Maggie is an assistant coach who used to fuck Alex in secret during college and is hella gay.

Original romcom: Libby is great at making friends. Sasha is a serial monogamist. They are both "straight."

Setting and meeting:

Back to the basket: Maggie joins Alex's coaching staff. The fic will last the entire college season (~6 months)

Original romcom: Libby and Sasha meet on a dating reality show. The book will encompass the first 6 weeks of the show.

Primary conflict:

Back to the basket: Alex wants to focus on work because she's A Big Failure. Maggie wants to date. They have undeniable chemistry and horniness.

Original romcom: Classic "straight" friends to gay lovers problems, made worse by the reality show setting.

Ending:

Back to the basket: We get really far in the tournament and Alex and Maggie get their happily ever after

Original romcom: Libby declares her love at the Ceremony, Sasha declares it back after some mental buffering, and they get their happily ever after.

Once I know those things, I'm pretty much good to go. For some books I know the midpoint (I knew the midpoint of my forthcoming novel before I started writing it) but for most projects, including fics, I don't know it until I've written my way there. In these examples, there was a clear time boundary (6 months, 6 weeks), which I find very helpful. When co-writing with the incredible @roadien60, we've put time boundaries on our fics together to help us keep the story tight, compelling, and contained (I mean LOL, Missives is literally almost 80k, but just imagine how bad it would have been if we hadn't been counting down to the eclipse!)

While pantsing, I really try to let the scenes shape themselves, to let the characters simmer when they need to and move forward when they don't. I don't let the characters do whatever they want, because those wants might not make for a compelling narrative or be what I want to write, but I try to let things flow naturally from one event/emotional beat to the next.

This method requires revision, sure, but revising is easier than forcing yourself to draft something that simply won't come, and that's what matters.

I try to be very very careful about NOT thinking ahead. I don't even let myself daydream the things I'm planning to write. I'll think about the next chapter between writing sessions, but never further than that, because if I've so much as thought about it, some of the joy is spoiled. I'll think of great dialogue in my head, and then forget it, and no matter what I write down on the page later, I'll always think it's worse than the first thing I dreamed up in the shower, and that's a kind of regret I don't have space for in my brain.

And the consequences are real! The only fic I took 5+ years to finish, Splice World, is the only one I plotted out all the way. I had to wait until I had forgotten what I plotted to be able to finish it, and even then it was a bit lackluster.

So I guess after all of this word vomit, my questions back to you are:

What was going wrong when you pantsed? What specific problem are you trying to solve for? Sometimes people try to start plotting because they think being a pantser is less "good" or sophisticated or something, to which I say, fuck them!

When plotting, at what level of advance detail do you get bored? If you know the ending, the next chapter, five chapters in the future, etc? Maybe you can find a happy middle there, where you can think a few chapters ahead but not the whole thingy.

How much do you daydream/think about the story without writing it? If it's a lot, trying doing it very little or none and all, and see if that helps!

LET ME KNOW!!

[brighter-by-the-daly]

Rachel Daly x Reader

Part One: Dashed Hopes

AN: Inspired by the song “Becky’s so Hot” but when I asked for who to base it on got this from anon and decided to go in a different direction than planned

Prompt: I’m imagining this with Rachel and her leaving the Dash and transferring to Villa

AN: let’s ignore the real life timings for this one.

As you stared down at your phone ringing you debated whether to answer it or not. It was your best friend, Libby, you loved her but she always had some sort of drama going on and you weren’t sure if you wanted to deal with it today. You’d arrived home from America last week and was reacquainting with your old town. Watching as the name disappeared from the screen you were able to breathe again but the relief didn’t last long when it lit up once more two seconds later. You knew she wouldn’t stop ringing until you answered so reluctantly succumbed to the drama.

“You’ll never believe who I just saw!” she screamed down the phone. This could range from a school friend you hadn’t seen in 20 years or Beyoncé. No ‘hello’ or ‘how are you’, just straight into the gossip as usual. “Becky!” she shrieked making you move your phone away from your delicate ears. Becky used to be a friend of yours until she stole Libby’s boyfriend 5 years ago. You always liked the girl but you can’t carry on being friends with someone your bestie hates. It’s girl code. “How was she-“ you started to ask but got cut off. “No! The news isn’t that I saw Becky” this made you frustrated, just get to the point woman! “But you just said guess who I see, Becky” the overly sarcastic tone rolling off your tongue with ease. “No, (y/n) shut up and let me finish the story!” Rolling your eyes, you knew she had drama and should have stuck to your guns with not answering the phone, you just wanted a peaceful afternoon to enjoy the nostalgic atmosphere of your home town. But no. In comes Hurricane Olivia. “Stay where you are I’ll come meet you” she said hurriedly before hanging up abruptly leaving you no time to object.

The coffee shop bell dinged as the tornado of a woman found you in the corner. Asking how she knew where you were she explained she’d put your phone on her find me app ages ago. You were shocked but certainly not surprised - ever since you lost each other at a party last year she’d been highly protective of you. The woman couldn’t fight her way out of a paper bag but she means well.

“So! I saw Becky!” stumbling into the chair opposite you and dumping her bag on the table making it rock. “Yeah you’ve already told me this, why’d you have to come over here-“ you were unable to finish your sentence as she cut you off. “No! I saw Becky..” she paused for dramatic effect “with Rachel!” your eyebrows raised in a fashion that showed you were not amused with her mediocre statement. “Well that’s not news, they’re on the same team” you tried to reason with her but once again you were interrupted. “No listen to me, they were holding hands!”

“(Y/n)!” Fingers snapping in your face broke you out of the wide eyed trance staring into your coffee cup. What the fuck. Becky and Rachel? Nooo. This can’t be happening. You asked her if she was sure that’s what she witnessed but Libby was adamant that it was true - they looked incredibly coupley. God, that girl really knows how to move in on other people’s partners! Granted, you and Rachel have been over for a little while now but you didn’t expect this. You’re still not over her and she’s out there with a whole new girlfriend! It’s not even been a month! Should have known really, she always moved quickly - historically falling in and out of love fast but you just didn’t realise you were that easy to get over. You thought Rachel was the love of your life and now someone you used to call friend has swooped in on her when your side of the bed was barely cold. You tried hard to not let it get to you but your face said everything - you were hurt, sad and in need of a tub of ice cream. The fact she’s moved on so quickly made you feel like it was the day of the breakup all over again.

It was unexpected and just like any other day, you’d gone to sleep fiancées and woke up to a letter and her ring on the bedside table. Wardrobes and drawers empty. No pitter patters of Lexi’s paws on the kitchen floor. Half finished TV series that you watched together left on Netflix. She’d left your home, she’d left the team and she’d left the country overnight. This showed you her leaving was planned - she had gone to bed with you for weeks knowing she was eventually going to leave as soon as the transfer went through.

Sitting quietly in the corner of the coffee shop tears started to well in your eyes, you’d worked hard to get over her and you thought you had but all the emotions had come flooding back. Scrolling through all the unanswered messages and the photos of her on your phone your heart was breaking all over again. What’s worse is you’d just been called up for the World Cup that morning and would have to face Rachel at camp. For months. This couldn’t be worse timing. When you got the call up you were excited and felt empowered like you’d be able to be amicable colleagues for a while but all hopes of that had been dashed.

Part Two

[ninja-muse]

I need to start walking past used bookstores instead of into them…

Anyway, June was an all right reading month. I read some really good books, and some kind of poor ones, which is fairly normal, but I also didn't read as much as usual. This is a combination of having a few slow reads (Steampunk, Navola) and writing up a storm, neither of which is a bad thing. I am so glad to have written as much as I have this month. The end of the latest WIP is in sight!

Navola, by the way, is really good and if I'd been organized enough to take a photo of the ARC before I unhauled it, it would have gotten a dedicated review here. Think Renaissance Italy, low magic, ruthless politics, a boy coming of age, an unwanted destiny he has no choice but to accept, the trapped soul of a dragon… It's complex and twisted and detailed and layered, the sort of book you have to pay attention to and which will surprise you anyway. Highly recommended if you like George R.R. Martin or Robin Hobb or grimdark that's less about blood and battles and more about everyone being flawed and kind of awful.

This was also a month of ebooks for me, accidentally. I had a few library holds come in (and delayed one until next month because time), and I received not one but two e-ARCs, the second of which I'm working on right now. I also had one of those moments mid-month where I had no idea what to read so went for something radically different—a thriller about a forensic artist, mostly because it had been on my TBR for a bit and was available on Libby the day I needed a book.

And I reread Drums Along the Congo! Which I last read over 25 years ago so it was basically a new book to me. There's a lot of stuff I either missed or forgot the first time, but I was a kid who was reading it for the living dinosaurs rather than an adult reading for the journey and historical moment. I can't imagine the details about Congo in the 1980s would've made much of an impression. If you're into travel writing, it's one I'd recommend.

The third book off my TBR, A Bouquet From France, is that pretty marbled cover. (I nabbed it off my dad's unhaul pile mostly for that.) More interesting than the poems are some of the 1920s-era translation choices and the fact that the book has actual handcut deckle edges, like you can see where the knife went in off-center to cut the signatures open. Also Victor Hugo is introduced as one of France's best poets, with no mention that he might have also written some major novels.

In terms of my book haul for the month: one out-of-print comic book my work got on sale; one memoir a coworker was unhauling; two travel books that the "I've adulted so now I get a treat" used bookstore had in stock. One is the sequel/follow-up to one I hauled last month, so it's nice to have both. The other is excerpted letters by an English diplomat's wife from Constantinople in the early 1700s.* I successfully delayed a trip to the other tempting used bookstore until next month, so stayed tuned for that.

*Lady Mary Wortley Montagu. Awesome woman. Look her up.

And that's about it for this time around. I didn't do exciting cultural events or anything, just read and wrote a lot. How was your June?

Click through to see everything I read this month, in the rough order of how glad I was to have read them.

How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying - Django Wexler

Dani’s stuck in a time loop in a fantasy world. She’s supposed to be the Chosen One but that clearly not working. Time to switch sides for funsies…

8/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (bi woman), protagonist of colour

borrowed from work

Navola - Paolo Bacigalupi

Davico has always been aware of Navola’s politics and his banking family’s role in them, but also knows he’s unsuited to inherit that power. Unfortunately, in a city that breathes intrigue bowing out isn’t exactly an option. Out in July.

8.5/10

warning: violence, graphic injury, pseudo-incest

reading copy

A Bouquet From France - Wilfred Thorley, translator

A collection of French poetry from the 1100s to the 1920s.

7/10

off my TBR shelves

Steampunk - Ann and Jeff Vandermeer, editors

A collection of steampunk stories, old and new.

7/10

warning: misogyny, racism, eugenicists

off my TBR shelves

Running Close to the Wind - Alexandra Rowland

Avra, rubbish spy, finds himself on his ex’s pirate ship in possession of a deadly trade secret. Unfortunately, selling it to the highest bidder means working with a very sexy monk, and all manner of shenanigans.

7.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (multisexual), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (ungendered, achillean), major character with prosthetic eye, largely brown-skinned cast, 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: frequent discussions of sex, cursing, animal death

library ebook

Every Time We Say Goodbye - Natalie Jenner

Vivien moves to Rome in the 1950s to work as a script doctor and possibly learn the true fate of her soldier fiancé.

6.5/10

Black American secondary characters, 🇨🇦

library ebook

The Face of Deception - Iris Johansen

Eve Duncan, world-class forensic artist, is drawn into a dangerous web when she takes a commission from a tech billionaire.

6.5/10

warning: animal death, murder

library ebook

The Black Bird of Chernobyl - Ann McMan

Lilah’s happily misanthropic life preparing bodies at her funeral home is upset when her father hires perky Sparkle for community outreach. Then Lilah goes viral… Out in July.

6.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (lesbian), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (lesbian, sapphic), Black secondary character, 🏳️‍🌈 author

warning: death, grief

digital reading copy/won

Reread:

Drums Along the Congo - Rory Nugent

A naturalist travels deep into the African jungle in search of a legendary living dinosaur—or tries to. A lovely portrait of a time and place.

7.5/10

predominantly (Black) African cast

warning: animal death, brief mentions of Congo’s colonial brutalities

off my TBR shelves

Currently reading

The Dishonest Miss Take - Faye Murphy

Desperate to clear her name after a murder she didn't commit, a superpowered former villain stumbles onto a mystery—and a curious assassin. Out in September.

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (sapphic)

digital reading copy/won

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin

A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts. The Penguin Complete Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle

Victorian detective stories.

disabled POV character (limb injury), occasional Indian secondary characters

warning: racism, colonialism

Monthly total: 8 + 1 Yearly total: 59 Queer books: 3 Authors of colour: 0 Books by women: 3 Authors outside the binary: 1 Canadian authors: 1 Classics: 1 Off the TBR shelves: 3 Books hauled: 4 ARCs acquired: 3 ARCs unhauled: 2 DNFs: 0

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