#it's also the song that made me cry when i saw it live

[starkeynation]

Is it casual now?

Content : angst, a bit similar to the scene where Sofia overheard Rafe saying she’s not his girlfriend, inspired by the song Casual by Chappell Roan (may or may not be accurate)

a/n : sorry in advanced i know Chappell is for the girlies also idk if im proud of this but your likes and reblogs will always be appreciated🤍

── ⋆⋅˚ʚ♡ɞ˚⋅⋆ ──

It has been exactly 4 months since you met Rafe Cameron, the kook king you never knew you would fall so deeply for. The first time you met him, you were nothing but a blur in his world. A passing figure and a random pogue that was at his party. But Rafe, you saw something in him the moment you met his sparkling blue eyes. You couldn’t exactly tell what it was. Maybe it’s the fact that he looks so handsome even under bad lights, or the way you could listen to him forever every time he speaks. At that moment, you were ready to risk it all.

You made your move that night. The way you charmed him may have made him realize you both were something more than strangers passing through each other’s lives and ever since then, you were both inseparable. Although he said “No attachment,” the first time you both hooked up, you still went along with it, hoping it could be real one day.

Sometimes when you’re hanging out with your friends outside, you would hear some rumors saying you’re just a girl that Rafe bangs on his couch. The pogues call you a loser for still hanging around him but you ignore them and the rumors because most of the time he treats you as if you were someone he couldn’t lose. Just two weeks after knowing each other, he invites you to dinner with his whole family. The way he fucks you in the bathroom while his parents are still at the table, the way he brings you to the country club and shows you off, the way he’s eating you out in the passenger seat, and mostly the way he talks to you, so gently and sweet that got you thinking maybe this isn’t just some dumb love.

You’re at the pub where you agreed to meet Rafe. The sky on the way there was already turning a heavy blue slate, signaling that rain was on the way. You enter the pub and recognize Rafe’s back immediately standing on the other end accompanied by Topper and his foul girlfriend Ruthie. As you are about to approach them, you hear his voice, “She’s not my girlfriend okay, it’s just…casual. No strings attached.”

You freeze. The words land like ice in your chest, sharp and cold. If that isn’t enough you then hear Ruthie say, “You sure about that Rafe? How do your parents feel that you’re living with a pogue,” she smirks, her eyes gleaming with sarcasm.

“I’m not fucking living with a pogue okay,” he says annoyingly.

You have to steady yourself. You could feel your stomach churn as you’re processing what you’re hearing. You can’t believe it. You both never had a “talk” about being exclusive, but you thought you were starting to matter to him and close to making it official.

You hide behind a column in the middle of the pub, trying to decide what to do. Part of you wants to walk away, leave without saying a word, and let him figure out what he’d lost. But you couldn’t just let it go. So you make your way to the table, keeping a neutral face, and try to hold back your tears.

“Hey, there you are,” Rafe smiles, as you approach him.

“Hey,” you say, your voice steady, though it takes everything you have to keep it from shaking. “We need to talk.” Before he could say anything, you grab his hand taking him outside the pub. As you stand outside, it’s already drizzling.

“Whoa, what’s wrong? Can't we talk inside? It’s raining,” he asks, his voice full of confusion.

You let go of his hand and go silent for a moment. He looks at your face that is now about to cry, “Baby what’s wrong?” he says.

“Don’t call me that if you don’t mean it Rafe,” you mutter.

He blinks. “What are you talking about?”

“I heard you,” your voice loud now. “Telling them we’re not dating? No strings attached? Seriously Rafe? After these past few months? Is it casual now?”

Rafe’s face shifts, the unease creeping into his features. He clears his throat, trying to smooth over the tension. “Look, I thought we’re on the same page here-“

“Same page? What same page are we talking about?” You cut him off. “I thought you were starting to look at me differently now Rafe.” You fluster. “Oh and not to mention calling me a pogue? I thought we’re WAY past that..”

He sighs, scratching the back of his head. “Ok about that I'm sorry kay’. I didn’t mean to call you a pogue just, you know…Topper and Ruthie, they caught me off guard. And you never really talked about anything more serious, so I figured we’re just not together.”

You could feel the heat rising in your chest. “I never talked about it? Oh so now I’m the one to blame? Are you serious?” Your eyes narrow.

He pauses, trying to find the right thing to say. “I just…I’m happy with the way we are right now. I’m not-“

“Not what? Not ready to be in a relationship? That’s bullshit.” You cut him off again, not wanting to hear any excuses. “How can you stand there and say you’re okay with this? After all the plans we made, the endless nights we spent?” you continue, meeting his gaze that looks unbothered. “You know what…I can’t…yes, I tried to be the chill girl who holds her tongue and gives you space but not anymore. No, I’m done,” you say, trying to walk away.

The rain is getting heavier now, and both of you are soaking wet. “Wait,” he calls out your name. “Just wait okay…I’m sorry I hurt you, yes I would be lying if I said this doesn’t mean something but just give me time okay, I just…I can't do relationships right now,” he says, grabbing your wrist trying to stop you.

“No Rafe,” you shake your head, a tear runs down to your cheek. “I’m done waiting. It’s hard Rafe…It’s hard being casual when my favourite bra lives in your dresser and it’s definitely not casual when I’m always on the phone talking to Wheezie like I’m her sister,” you swallow, biting your inner cheek trying to keep your emotion in check.

He gives a small dismissive wave, like I’m overthinking things. “Well I did warn you no attachment, y/n,” he says, with such cold detachment, as if his words are nothing more than a simple fact, devoid of any emotion.

You look at him with disappointment crawling up to your throat. He isn’t even trying to make it work, not even pretending to care about how you feel. You hate the fact what he said is true, he did warn you not to get attached and you hate yourself even more for dragging this on for so long. You stare at him for a moment longer, “Fuck you, Rafe,” then you turn and walk away to your car. There is no use in arguing with someone who has no intention of changing their mind. If this is how Rafe sees you, then he is not the guy you think he is.

Maybe he is okay with keeping things casual but you deserve more than that. Rafe Cameron can go to hell.

[pinkfey]

“i fought so hard to free you” / “angel of music, you deceived me”

[mayullla]

Title: A Promise to a Red Rose

Character(s): Fairy King Oberon ( Original work)

Summary: The queen had made a deal with a rose that if she were to have a son her son would become a wise ruler but if she had a daughter she would offer the girl to the Fairy King. Warnings/tags: Yandere! Fairy King x Princess! Reader, Kidnapped, manipulations, power imbalance, drugging, dumbification (reader), forced intimacy, noncon body transformation, 3.3k words (please tell me if I missed anything!)

In a kingdom, there was once a king and a queen. Both were in love, so in love with each other that the people had created a song in the kingdom that many bards and kids sang. The affection that the king had towards his queen could rival the highest mountains while the queen's affections could rival the skies. The song was something that made both the king and queen proud of what they had.

It was only a pity that none could have it all… Fame, money and love they had all of it but only one. The queen was unable to conceive a child, an heir for the future of the kingdom, a child with her beloved. While many pitied the queen, many also had to push the king to find another lover for an heir.

The king was furious at such words warning that they were currently making a grave mistake that cost them their lives, yet for the queen who had heard those words could not help but weep in tears as she knew that the king still needed an heir. Heartbroken, she prayed to the fairies day and night, the window in her room open as she looked at the moon and stars or bright skies, not eating or sleeping as she begged the fay to give her a child.

One day in the darkness of night in her lonesome room she heard voices. Small voices that sounded like the jingles of bells and childish laughter. The voices asked why she was crying.

"Oh queen, why are you here? Why have you gotten on your knees? Why are your clothes that you wore damp and wet? And why does your face show sorrow and pain?" The voices asked.

The queen opened her eyes and saw fairies fluttering around her. Small children the size of roses that grew on her windowsill. "Oh queen, why are you so sad that you cry your heart out? Do you not have everything you ever wanted?"

"I am sad because I can't have a child." The queen replied to the fairies. "The king needs an heir yet I could not bore him a son. That is why I am sad because it is the duty of the queen to give the kingdom its heir.."

The fairies listened to the queen's cries and talked among themselves right after. The fairies then flew towards the balcony and made a red rose bud bloom far more beautiful than any rose that the queen had ever seen. The rose is bright red even in the darkness of night with faint glows and shimmers.

"Why have you been crying your heart out? What had pained you that you would not eat for 3 days and 3 nights." The rose asked and the queen explained once again why she was weeping.

"I wish to bore a son for the king. For only then I will be happy once again." The queen told the rose. The rose listened to the queen's story.

"I understand." The rose said, "I will grant your wish but it comes with a cost. A price that you must give."

"What is it that you want?" The queen asked, "Is it gold that you want? Is it jewels that you are looking for? I shall give you mines that store diamonds and emeralds within them for a child of my blood."

“It is not crystals that I am looking for but a life that I want. I shall grant you a life but in return, I wish for the same.” The rose spoke, declining the jewels and money that the queen would. What it wanted was a life. The queen was puzzled by the rose words for she didn't understand what the rose wanted.

"Eat this red rose and then go back to the king. Later when you give birth to a child if it is a boy he would become a king that is loyal and wise. The people would love him and he would rule the kingdom for a long time." The rose told her but it also said, "But if you bore a girl, she would be beautiful and lovely just like the first blooming roses in spring. But when she comes of age she will be taken away by me and she will become the Fairy King's wife."

The queen took the rose and ate it and then hurried back to the king. After a year went by the queen bore twins, a son and a daughter.

While the castle cheered for the children the queen remembered the promise she had made with the rose and broke down in tears again.

She cried day and night when the fairies came back once again. "Oh queen, why are you crying?" The fairies asked.

"I am crying because I have a daughter." The queen replied, tears falling from her eyes. The fairies listened to the queen's cries and talked among themselves. The fairies flew towards the vase and bloomed a small red rose bud into a beautiful rose far more lush than the roses after a rainstorm.

"Why are you crying, oh queen? The rose asked "Do you not have everything that you ever wanted? Do you not have a son that you wished for?"

"But I also have a daughter who I love." The queen replied. The rose was angry because the queen didn't want to give her daughter to the Fairy King. 

"Have I not granted your wish? For a son that will rule the kingdom for a long time?" The roses said in anger, "You promised that if you bore a daughter you will give her to the Fairy King."

But the queen could not let her daughter go because she loved her dearly. While the rose was angry because the queen didn't want to keep her promise that she had made a year ago. So the rose placed a curse telling the queen "The moment the princess pricks her finger in a needle, she will turn into a red rose and the Fairy King will whisk her away and take her to the fairy kingdom. From then on you shall never see the princess ever again."

The queen cried once again when she had heard what the rose had said but it did not take back its words, letting the rose that was so beautiful wilt and fall.

The queen had told the king and when the king heard this he made a command that every needle is to be taken away from the castle.

They took away every needle and spinning wheel in the castle and burned them outside. They didn't let the princess near anything sharp fearing that she would prick her hand and the Fairy King would take her away.

As the princess grew she had never seen a needle in her life and the king and queen had banned anything sharp to be brought to the castle for that day. The roses in the castle gardens didn't have thorns all cut by the gardeners that cared for them.

The prince grew to be smart and loyal. He cared for his people and the people loved him back. The princess grew up to be loving and kind, who cared for the people and was the treasure of the kingdom.

The prince and the princess' coming-of-age ceremony was held in the castle and the king happily invited all his people to come to the ball. The prince and princess were given many gifts and presents. Books from faraway nations, gems made into gorgeous pieces of jewelry, dresses made with the finest silks, an abundance of gold, and more.

As people danced at the ball, the last guest arrived to give his gift. It was an old man slowly walking towards them with a bouquet of roses. "I do not have much but I wish to give the prince and princes these roses." The old man said, handing the roses to the prince. "I thank you for your gift." The prince said. "Please enjoy the ball." The princess said.

The prince sniffed the roses, the fragrant smell stronger than any other rose that he smelled. The color of the roses is a deep shade of red and lush. "My sister look at these roses." The prince said, showing the princess the roses. "They are the most beautiful roses I have ever seen. More beautiful than a red ruby."

The princess looked at the roses and indeed they were just like the brother said. The princess wanted to touch the roses and reached out for a rose only to get pricked by the thorn of the rose.

The queen screamed when she saw the blood on the princess's finger and the king and prince tried to reach the princess when she was turned to roses as the old man had turned into the Fairy King and took her away to a world of fairies.--

"Fairy King! It is night time now and the queen is still with the child." The fairies chanted, calling the king to stop reading. Sharp eyes looked up from the book created by humans reading a familiar story simplified for kids' entertainment. Looking at the sky he saw the moon high up and stars shining bright. Standing up he listened to the fairies smaller than his own hand. “Where is my wife? It is getting late.” “She is with the boy, Fairy King. They are in the same place as before.” Flying out of the fairy castle into the garden where he knew you were currently and a small young human boy.

Under the moonlight, he found you sitting on a tree where he left you, and the boy continued to tell a story about his parents even when he saw the Fairy King from the corner of his eye. You would nod silently as if listening intently of what the boy had to say. 

"It is night now my dear." The fairy king Oberon spoke.

Hearing his voice you slowly moved your head towards him and quietly smiled while the boy pouted as if knowing that it was his cue to leave. It was as if he had come here many times before that too. "But I wanna still play." The boy whined only to be silenced when you slowly reached for the boy's hair, patting his head. At your touch, the young boy gave up his whining quickly.

"Promise me that we can play again?" The boy asked and received a soft smile from you. Seeing that the boy sighed "Okay..."

Oberon watched as the boy waved goodbye at you leaving the fairy world guided by the fairies when he looked at you again. The Fairy King watched as the boy continued to look back at you, eyes begging to tell him to come back.

The boy and you had similar features to each other.

Taking steps towards you he reached for his wife. You looked at him surprised yet your smile only grew when you realized you were off the ground and in his arms looking around like a child feeling tall. "My wife, my queen, it is time for you to rest too. This king knows that you are tired." Oberon spoke, only to receive a pout from you. You tried to shuffle away from his hold, push yourself away to make a distance so that he would not take you back when you were having so much fun. Yet your hands did little to make a gap between you and him. You were too weak, too frail to push him away.

Your attention was quickly taken away tho, when you noticed his platinum blonde hair that was long enough to reach the floor. On his head was a crown made of golden leaves and jewels. Reaching out you touched his face clear of any imperfections.

Oberon looked at you, smiled silently as you started to rub your finger on his chin, and then started to play with his hair and long ears as if you had forgotten when you tried to struggle away from his hold. Your eyes were hazy as if you were daydreaming as if you were in a daze, those had been your eyes ever since you arrived in the fairy kingdom. In tears and anguish from being taken away from your own home and family, you tried to run away so Oberon had to make sure you stayed.

Every fruit and dessert you ate was dusted with golden dust. With the showers that you had in the lake, the fairies would make sure to drop fairy dust alongside water and then coat your skin with golden liquid. The clothes that you wore white silk decorated with beautiful flowers and jewels. From roses, lilacs, and daisies to rubies, sapphires and emeralds as you moved your clothes and your skin sparkled in gold.

His shiny treasure. Adorable and sweet in his arms. The fairies cooed at his highness and his beloved. Once upon a time, you pushed him away screaming at the top of your lungs terrified of his kind, screaming that he kidnapped you. Only to calm down with golden honey. Each day Oberon fed you such honey made out of the golden dust, it was what gave the fairies their magic, their ability to fly but also their life spans. It was a common food for them, something like how humans treat rice, bread, or potatoes.

If a human were to drink such nectar or inhale so much of the fairy dust their life spans would lengthen and they would be beautiful, the old would become young again to when they were at their peak. But it also comes with a high cost. Fairy dust wasn't meant for human consumption, it wasn't meant for humans at all. It was an addiction, the moment one takes in that dust, they would never be able to turn back to their normal life. 

Humans feel ecstatic the moment they have it, a high that is so powerful that they can see nothing but happiness. They were blind to the world, while beautiful and young they had become too dumb to form sentences but even think. They go along with whatever others say and due to it, many have died as they were taken advantage of while others couldn't see the dangers right in front of them, as those who were drunk on such dust fell from high places or unknowingly consumed something they shouldn't. Yet even when the person finally goes back to normal they would start to crave it, an instant addiction that slowly turned them into monsters who could not understand what was right or wrong.

It was an immediate reaction when you finally drank the honey a faster kick compared to dust, it made the whole world dizzy as you didn't understand what was happening. But you are happy, so happy and you don't know why. Drool of honey and spit from your mouth, unable to function properly as the fairy king places you on your new throne. This shall be your home, and it has been for a long time now.

Years passed and every day they placed the honey down your lips whether you liked it or not keeping you happy and satted. Your little fusses are weak and short-lived as you look at the world around you with innocent eyes, sparkling and giggly. Hundreds of years pass by and you haven't aged at all, still so curious over something that you have seen every day almost as if you forgot every single time.  

While you should have died, becoming nothing but brainless when the dust could physically melt the brain. It was by the fairy king that you were still alive with his power; he would keep you whole right beside him.

Gone was your ability to walk something that he took long ago. Had he placed you down on your legs you would only collapse like a puppet with no strings unable to raise your body anymore. Your legs were useless now. Not that he minded it at all, to have you wrapped around his arms, nothing could ever compare to such thing. 

You were affectionate like this, so happy. Unable to form proper words, unable to remember your own name unless he spoke it. Moments after he did you looked like a puppy wagging its tail with wide eyes as if you had found a present… that was already yours.

Taking you deeper into the forest you placed your hands on the fairy king's cheeks a soft smile on your lips. Teasing he thought to himself as he looked at you, he kissed the crown of your head receiving a melodic laugh from you as you kissed his chin three times.

Oberon had grown affection for you, his lovely queen and while many tried to take you back long ago he didn't let them. The way to the fairy world and human world gate closed, covering the entrance with thick vines of thorns, that would not be cut even with a sword but only a small opening enough for a small kid to pass through if they so found the path.

The queen and king both had died in heartbreak over the loss of their precious daughter while your brother both smart and wise led the kingdom with care but had also become crazy over the loss of his sister behind the curtains dying with only regret. Many thought it was magic that killed the royal family but no one had the answers. The story went down and turned into a storybook for kids, which taught them to never make a promise they could not keep. When Oberon looked at the ending for the first time, he could not help but frown at its "happy" ending. 

But it matters not he thought to himself as he placed you down on a bed made of soft materials and on the edge sleeping flowers and gold carvings. He flew around you and took his side of the bed watching your breath as your body slowly inhaled and exhaled sleep had quickly taken you to your dreams. It seemed that you were tired from playing with your great grand-niece as you had quickly fallen asleep from exhaustion even after 2 naps in the daylight. Moving you closer he moved your body to make you face the pillow just a little as he touched your bare back where your clothes didn't cover that area.

You moaned uncomfortable by the cold hand touching your back but Oberon didn't seem to care as he looked for bumps in your naked back when he found a few. They were bumps that didn't quite belong to humans rather they belonged to fairies. Specifically, humans that were turning into fairies.

It will take a long time to change you from a human to a fairy queen, it would take more than a hundred years to grow wings, after all, they need to change the body to make room for a container to absorb magic. A human would not only need the fairy dust they would need the fairy king's permission that the fairy dust shall not kill the being consuming it… but also time. Time that most humans didn't have, but you have been given a gift ever since you were born you never knew it but you were already so different from humans ever since that deal that your foolish mother made.

He would make sure your wings would be as beautiful as the sunset, far more beautiful than lush roses, more that it would dull the color of rubies. And you will open your wings and flap them but this time you would fly towards him and into his arms. You will love him just as much as he loves you and you shall accept your place in his side as the queen of the fairies.

He would make sure that you would be beautiful and forever young. He kept you for over a hundred years now and he intends to keep you by his side for thousands.

[vivelegalite]

dear dead boy detective (especially paynland) enjoyers: have you yet heard of the biggest gift bestowed upon the fandom so far, aka jayden's charles playlist? the one he mentioned in interviews? well, he dropped it on twitter at 19th of may. and man, do i have stuff to say about it.

there's a lot of 80's bangers, for sure, great to get into the mood and character, but some of the choices...

i'm gonna focus on a few of my favourites, songs that made me go insane when i saw them. honorable mentions: - category 1 (so devoted the lines blur): ain't no mountain high enough by marvin gaye and tammi terrell, there is a light that never goes out by the smiths, inkpot gods by the amazing devil - category 2 (family life): family line and summer child by conan gray, seventeen going under by sam fender, matilda by harry styles, father by the front bottoms - category 3 (being queer in the 80s): smalltown boy by bronski beat, boys don't cry by the cure - category 4 (there's no heterosexual explanation for this one): good luck, babe! by chappel roan, yellow by coldplay, fight or flight by conan gray (is this about monty? the cat king? i need answers!), the prophecy by taylor swift, arms tonite by mother mother, sweet by cigarettes after sex, head over heels by tears for fears

this list is by no means complete or comprehensive!

and now, the songs that made me go the craziest: (they're predominantly in charles' pov as it's his playlist)

found heaven by conan gray

the only reason this song made it into the list and not the honorable mentions instead of smalltown boy is that it makes almost the same point, just so much more explicitly. i don't think i have to say much about it, it's a story of a young person griping with their queerness, being forced to leave home, a common theme of the playlist. "you're in love, you found heaven" when he chose edwin over his own afterlife, heavily implied to be heaven, and built his heaven with him on the mortal plane? ouch! (and we see this same notion repeated in another bop from the playlist, heaven is a place on earth by belinda carlisle).

2. like real people do by hozier

"i miss kissing" charles rowland, 202X romantic meaning aside, the verses show a sort of a common understanding the boys have around the manner of their deaths and their lives before it. we already know from the show they don't really talk about it, with edwin not knowing about the severity of the abuse charles suffered. it feels like one of them saying "let the past be past, we're together now, yeah?". but also, jayden: can there ever be a platonic explanation for this? ghosts can't touch, can't feel, so they wish they could just kiss like "real" (alive?) people do?

3. flaws by bastille

not the most romantic song, but i absolutely love how well it fits their dynamic. despite his edwardian brand of repression, edwin truly is the one that's more open about his feelings (recognising of course that in this case, the bar is so low it's in hell. haha, get it). edwin has worn his flaws upon his sleeve, and charles has held them buried - eg. bottling up all of his anger and resentment towards his family and his own death. the song presents a very sweet outlook, in which their flaws are brought up to the surface (for example, charles' outburst against the night nurse in episode 4), but they learn to accept them as they are, an extension of themselves.

4. a pearl by mitski

you know it's gonna get intense if there's a mitski song in the mix.

the song is about a person who finds love in their partner, someone who treats them way better than they've ever been treated - and yet they cannot bring themselves to reciprocate the affection ("it's not that i don't want you, sorry i can't take your touch") despite reciprocating the feelings themselves because of the trauma. charles is known to bottle things up ("you're growing tired of me and all the things i don't talk about"). the person in the song recognises the love the other person holds for them ("you love me so hard and i still can't sleep"), which reminds me of charles' response to edwin's confession. not a "no", but a "maybe, as time passes".

5. fair by the amazing devil

this one made me genuinely gasp when i first delved into the lyrics. it's simply so sweet, such a genuine and domestic portrayal of love. at first i thought it was way too open about being a love song (normal text instead of the subtext i'd be used to) for jayden to choose it with edwin in mind, but... there's no one else it can really be about. it's far too domestic, too "established" to refer to crystal. refers to a relationship that's laster for a longer while.

the narrator in the first verse is a person deeply in love with the other person, someone who loves to make his lover laugh and simply drinks in their presence. the "he" in the song i believe is charles, while the "she" refers to edwin. edwin promises to fight off anyone - or any feelings pulling charles down (we can see this in the first episode: "you ever think... what if death did catch us? she'd force us to go to the afterlife and split up" "i will make sure this never happens."). charles feels left behind by the world (seeing as he clings to crystal at first, refering to her as "someone their age who's still alive") and believes edwin to be so much stronger than he's ever been. i'm not going to break down the song verse by verse, but if you read it yourself while subbing out "he" for charles and "she" for edwin you'll see just how sweet (and... strangely very in character?) the song is.

6. work song by hozier

if the previous song made me gasp when i saw the lyrics, this one made me go "NO WAY" out loud when i saw the title. the first one verse is just pure toothrotting sweetness, but the chorus is what i want to draw attention to:

when my time comes around lay me gently in the cold, dark earth no grave can hold my body down i'll crawl home to her

HELLO? charles, who keeps escaping death and afterlife to be able to stay with edwin? charles, as he literally takes his last breath with edwin right there, choosing to be by his side rather than move on? charles, who keeps choosing him despite night nurse's promises and threats? charles, who literally crawled through hell for him?

verse 2, to me, can be interpreted as referring to when charles died. edwin found him at his worst, and he "woke" up with his presence comforting him. he was shivering due to hypothermia and his injuries. edwin didn't ask him about what happened or pushed him, he simply listened. the lines "i didn't care much how long i lived, but I swear, i thought i dreamed her" are pretty self explanatory.

in verse 3 we still see the same attitude of "damn the afterlife, at least we have each other" as charles portrays througout the series. they're free, and heaven and hell are simply words to him.

7. orpheus by vincent lima

i literally have no words for this one. it fits too well. if you want commentary for this one, just... i don't know, rewatch the staircase scene.

8. francesca by hozier

(cracks knuckles) this is the big one. the album francesca is from, unreal unearth, is based on dante alighieri's divine comedy, a fourteenth century poem about a man venturing into hell, purgatory and eventually heaven. the eponymous francesca is one francesca di rimini, a woman who was politically married off to a man older than her, called giovanni malatesta. francesca didn't love him, and eventually fell deep in love with giovanni's younger brother, paolo. the two carried on with the affair for years, before being murdered by giovanni upon his finding out. francesca and paolo are mentioned in canto v of the first book, inferno, as two souls damned in the second circle of hell, lust. their punishment is to be permanently locked in a hurricane, swept away by the winds the moment they manage to get close enough to touch one another.

as opposed to their portrayal in the poem, the song is from the perspective of paolo, explaining that no matter the punishment, he wouldn't change anything about his life because he got to know, and love, francesca.

the first verse brings to mind the scenes in hell, especially on the staircase ("do you think I'd give up? that this might've shook the love from me? or that I was on the brink? how could you think, darlin', i'd scare so easily?" as an echo of charles' "sorry. no version of this where i didn't come get you"). "my life was a storm since i was born, how could i fear any hurricane?" could relate to charles' tumultuous family life, an assurance that nothing he has to deal with while by edwin's side will faze him given the things he's lived through. no, despite everything he's suffered through, charles wouldn't do anything differently - because his (admittedly shitty) life led him to edwin ("i'd tell them, put me back in"). we already know charles would choose him over heaven, willingly sacrificing his own afterlife to stay with a boy he's known for hours, someone kind enough to keep him company as he drew his final breath. all of it - his father's abuse, his schoolmates' bigotry, the pain of his own death, as well as everything he's gone through since - he'd do it all again, for edwin.

"for all that was said of where we'd end up at the end of it" could be taken as an allusion to the fate the boys would meet at "at the end of it", when they're finally caught by death and separated, or as more of a general "if you sin, you will go to hell when you die" (up to you to decide what the sin itself would be - an interpretation that would work with other songs on the playlist is that one such sin would be same sex attraction). then their hearts ceased, they never knew "peace", nor did they want to find it in death. their deaths were too soon, them being ripped away from life, but even though it would break his heart: charles would ask to do it all again.

the outro, i think, beautifully pulls it all together: heaven is not fit to house a love like theirs.

to wrap it all up:

jayden, what were you cooking in there? what do you know??

[nana-gumi]

my heart belongs to.. who? g.satoru

pairings: gojo satoru x fem! reader

cw: heavy angst, mentions of death, mentions of cremation, depression, starvation, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of self-harming, please read at your own risk!! NOT PROOFREAD AGAIN HELP (i'm sleepy alr but i want to update TvT)

a/n: here's the part two of the 'anyway, don't be a stranger.' yes the title has changed. also based from a song a piece of you by nathaniel constantin. that's all, enjoy reading ;) PLS NOTIFY ME IF YOU HAPPEN TO SEE TYPOGRAPHICAL ERRORS!! THANK YOU <3

now that you had lost your only strength to continue living, what should you do now?

prev | next

satoru doesn't know why something in him ached when he randomly spotted his best friend, his dear best friend, suguru with you, on a random place and at a random time.

your backs were turned to him but he surely didn't like the way you cling to his best friend, it hurts him in many ways he couldn't explain but, satoru knew too well that he doesn't have the rights to feel that way, that's because every pain and sorrow that has happened to his life would be different if he didn't do that one big mistake.

ever since the divorce, satoru never saw you again. you left and none of the people you knew where you've gone to. satoru thought it was for the best that you should be away from him because the moment he feels vulnerable again, he would look for your presence, even though you weren't together anymore.

although sometimes, satoru do hope that you didn't run away from him. he wanted to fix everything, to apologize, to try things with you again. he never wanted anyone other than you. you were the only person that could see his other sides, the only person who knew him very very well, the only person he wanted to grow old with but everything was too late already.

he shouldn't have listened to you when you pushed him away and there, he would've never saw the pain look in your face when both of you separated your ways, he would've never saw the way you tried to stop yourself from crying infront of him, and he would've never saw the way you accepted to keep your wedding rings so desperately as if he would still be around you if you keep it.

satoru regretted every decision he made up until now, it was all of his fault, it was his fault why you had to leave, everything was his fault, you didn't have a choice because of him and he hoped that you've already forgave him for that. he really hoped so.

because of the heavy thoughts, satoru didn't know why his feet brought him to his best friend's apartment. maybe to ask how you were doing? are you still single? do you have a new lover now? was it suguru? are you both dating? oh gosh, he hoped not. it could be anyone but his best friend.

"(name) trusted you with it suguru, you shouldn't break your promise." satoru suddenly stopped on his tracks. that was shoko's voice, he was sure of it.

"but, don't you think he still has the right to know? satoru's the father after all."

"you're right though but—"

"what did you just say?" both eyes were widened at the sudden appearance as satoru revealed himself from hiding as he went closer to his best friends.

"when did you—"

"i'm the father? what do you mean?" satoru asked as he furrowed his eyebrows and suguru looked away from him. satoru could recognize the worried look of his best friend's face. "shoko?"

"well.." she mumbled, looking at suguru.

"are you hiding something from me?" satoru asked.

"it's not like that—" shoko said.

"then why do you both look nervous?"

"satoru." suguru called as he felt shoko's hand stop him and she shake her head left to right. "i'm sorry, but he needs to know."

"needs to know what? come on."

"satoru, you had a child, with (name)." and he couldn't be more surprised as he looked at suguru, lost and confused.

"what?"

"yeah, unfortunately, sanyu is—"

"stop." satoru said as he placed a hand on his temples. "is this some kind of prank? therefore, it's not funny."

"satoru, i'm not lying." suguru said, his expression blank.

"no. that's— that would be impossible.."

"go talk with her, satoru. heh, in the end, i couldn't keep my promise to her, huh?" suguru said as he placed a hand on his nape. "i'll send you the address, go." and satoru didn't waste any more time as he walked towards the front door but suguru stopped him again. "satoru." he called and suguru almost laughed at the worried and somehow excited look on his best friend's face. it's been a while since he saw that.

"what?" satoru said, cleary annoyed and impatient as suguru lightly smiled at him.

"be gentle with her, she's still vulnerable." satoru didn't get what suguru meant by that as he finally left, following the map where suguru had sent him.

you knew this day would've eventually come as you stand face to face with your ex-husband, he was panting and you were just about to go back home from the convenience store.

"(name).." he whispered your name as he took a step close to you, another one, and then another one as he started sprinting, embracing you in his arms and no one knew how much he missed feeling you around his arms. you let him embrace you but you stopped yourself from doing the same thing, you just stood there.

"why are you here?" you asked as satoru pulled away, his sleeve flying on his eyes as he slightly rubbed it. he was about to tear up.

"is it true?" satoru asked and he hoped you get what he meant with the question as you slowly nod your head.

"let's go inside my home first. it's getting cold here. i'll tell you everything there."

and there both of you ended up inside your home as satoru quietly inspected the surroundings. there was your picture and his son hanging on the wall.

"here." you said, handing him a glass of water. "i'm guessing suguru told you?"

"no. i actually overheard them."

"i see."

"so, where's.. um— can i see our child?" he asked and your heart ached at his question. you thought suguru told him already?

satoru didn't know what to do you when you started sobbing as you covered your face with your palms.

"you can't." you mumbled, wiping your tears as you look down on your lap.

"i understand.. but if you're—"

"you can't, satoru. we can't—"

"i know. i know you still don't trust me but i promise i will—"

"he's gone, satoru! don't you understand it? he's gone, he's dead, we can't see him anymore!" you exclaimed. everything was just overwhelming and you didn't mean to yell at him. "i'm sorry." you mumbled, once again, covering your face with your hands as you cry.

you felt his presence beside you as he wrapped his arms around you. he didn't know what else to do and satoru thought being close to you will help, being close to you will maybe help his almost shattering soul.

"i'm sorry." satoru said as he felt your arms around him. was this suguru meant when you were still vulnerable. he should've asked suguru to be more clear so there, satoru would know how to comfort you very well.

"i'm sorry, satoru. i kept him away from you when he wanted to see you. i should've pushed aside my own feelings and let sanyu meet you but i just couldn't, and now guilt is eating me up. it's my fault he couldn't see his papa on his last days. it was his last wishes but—"

"shh, stop it already. it's okay. don't blame yourself."

"i'm really sorry." no. satoru told himself he doesn't deserve your apologies and thinks everything was his fault to begin with.

"it was my fault that i couldn't be there for you. for our son. i deserve all the blame." satoru said as you slightly pulled away from him as you wiped your tears.

"it's not your fault either. sanyu was born with a weak heart. i couldn't protect him with that, no?" you said as you placed your hands on your lap.

"when we met at the parking lot, was that?.." you nodded your head in response as you recalled that day.

"that was the day after sanyu died." you mumbled and satoru couldn't help but clench his jaw. if only he knew.

satoru snapped out of his thoughts when he felt you sit up from the couch as you kneeled infront of the small table, taking something beneath it as you went back beside him.

"come, i'll show you his pictures." you said as you smiled at him and satoru couldn't help but mirror you. just for now, maybe you both could be happy, even just for now.

-

"he even cut his own hair, look!" you exclaimed, pointing a certain picture as satoru laughed with you.

he missed a lot things. when you were carrying his child, when his son was born, when his son was growing up. he wasn't there to witness everything and he almost– no, he regrets it so so much.

"i almost dyed his hair black 'cause he reminds me of you so much." you sighed as you closed the album, finally reaching its end as you place it on the table.

"we really do look like each other." satoru said as you lightly smile at him.

"you're not wrong." you responded and suddenly, it became silent.

"i'm sorry (name)." he started as you stayed still in your position. "i tried looking for you." he continued as he held your hand on his with you still avoiding to look at him. "why didn't you tell me before?" he said and that's what made you look at him. is he seriously asking you that?

"i don't know, satoru. do you?" you asked and he was completely taken aback.

"you should definitely go home now, someone might be waiting for you.." you said as you stand up from the couch, only for him to stop you by your wrist.

you looked at him for a moment and he did too. he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out as your hand slowly slipped out of his grasp and you turned your back at him.

"if you want to know more about sanyu, just ask."

it's been a week since you and satoru talked things out. it felt good to be able to talk everything with him. you thought at some point that satoru will hate you even more for not informing him about his son's existence but it was the opposite.

and maybe, you shouldn't have stalked his social and there you wouldn't stumble on his ex' account, because you never knew that it would hurt you this much, that it would hurt your already, broken heart.

you felt some type of jealousy seeing his family be happy in those pictures. they even went on a trip, on different places and many more. satoru looked happy. maybe if those mistakes were prevented back then, it would be you, him and sanyu.

there were missed calls and unread messages from suguru and shoko but you didn't have the energy to reply to each of them.

you just wanted to lay in your bed all day, almost wishing that sanyu would knock at your door asking for a help with his assignment, but no, it wouldn't happen anymore. you were all alone now, you'll never be able to feel happiness again, everything felt too empty for you to feel any type of emotions except for sorrow.

-

your eyes slowly opened when you felt something cold in your forehead.

"you're finally awake."

"what happened?" you asked as you tried to sit up from the bed, only for satoru to push you back.

"don't stand up yet. you passed out on the living room. you've been sleeping for a day already. are you eating? don't starve yourself." he talks too fast that you almost didn't catch his words.

"why are you here?" you asked.

"well.. i guess i want to know more about sanyu." he said as he hesitantly looked at you. "i'm sorry for walking around your house without your permission but, i saw a small shrine on the room beside here. is that sanyu's?" satoru asked as you nod at him.

"i forgot to tell you but i had sanyu cremated."

"okay, i understand."

"you can visit him anytime if you want."

"that would be great. thank you."

satoru did visit once a week. you noted that it was always on thursdays, just like suguru had told you that satoru's always available on thursdays.

your house would be messy if satoru wasn't around but if you knew that he'll be visiting, you'll force yourself to clean the house. you didn't want him to see you in worst state again, not anymore. he didn't have to know that you were starving yourself, that you would only eat when he brings you food.

he doesn't need to know. not that he would care, right? satoru is not in the position to care for you after all. he only visits for his son, it's wasn't because of you. maybe you should stop being delusional and face the reality that satoru and you couldn't work together anymore. he already has a family on his own. he has nothing to do with you anymore. a part of you is still hoping though but then again, he doesn't need to know.

there was a time where satoru visited you on tuesday. it was unexpected that he caught you almost hurting yourself. house and room messy.

it hurts him to see you like this. he couldn't help but to compare the old you to the you now. a big difference. he doesn't see you smile anymore. he doesn't hear your laugh anymore.

"you needn't to hurt yourself, okay? tell me if i can help in any way." he said as you sit on the couch, knees close to your chest as you stare at nothing.

your thoughts was playing with you because all of the sudden, you recalled everything that has happened between you and satoru. his mistakes, his wrongdoings, his happy family. your blood started to boil and you couldn't help but blame him in your mind. that it was his fault why sanyu have to suffer.

"hey, i know it still hurting you but—"

"you know nothing!" you exclaimed which took him off guard. he was unfamiliar with that look in your face.

"(name), calm down." he said as he tried to reach for you, only for you to slap his hand away.

"shut up! don't order me around! can you just leave my house?" you yelled. "this is all your fault." you mumbled and satoru heard it loud and clear. you weren't wrong though. "leave! i don't want to see you anymore. i hate you."

-

and even if you push him as many times as you want, satoru would not lose hope. he still visits you and sanyu. though he took note of the changes in your mood sometimes.

satoru visited late than usual. you already fell asleep on the couch. you swore you weren't waiting for him or something. it just happened that you got tired from the cleaning the house.

after the usual visit of you and satoru in your child's room both decided to eat the food he brought.

"sorry i was late. i had a hard time choosing a ring—" he cuts off himself with a fake cough as he looked away from you. "anyway, sorry for making you wait."

"it's fine. thank you for bringing me food."

"of course."

today, you seemed a lot more good now. satoru can notice you smile everytime. he didn't want to assume that you're smiling because of him though.

"is there something wrong?" he asked when he noticed you staring at him.

"i'm fine. thank you for visiting." you said as you walked satoru at the front door. "oh wait." you said, walking back to your room as satoru stood still on the front door and you went back after a minute.

"take this." you said, handing him a certain necklace.

"for me?" satoru said, taking the necklace in your hand.

"i asked them to put a little bit of sanyu ashes inside. you can't open that anymore since they locked it." satoru's eyes widened at your words.

"thank you." he said as you smiled at him.

"here, let me help." you said, as you wear the necklace on him. "sanyu will always be by your side, wherever you are." you said as you smiled and suddenly, satoru turned around, his face was too close to you and you think he could almost hear on how loud your beating heart is.

you awkwardly took a step back as you cleared your throat to ease the awkward tension.

"thank you (name), really. i will treasure this." he said as you smiled at him, for the last time.

"sorry for yelling at you sometimes, satoru."

"don't worry, i understand. just let me know if you want to release some stress. i'll try my best to help." he said and despite of answering, you only smiled, again.

"thank you, satoru. sanyu was the best son i could ever have." you said and he suddenly placed a hand on your head. like how he always does before as he leaned to your level.

"thank you for raising our child." he said as you look at him with widened eyes and you couldn't help but frown as you place a hand close to your chest.

stop giving me false hope, satoru.

"take care." you couldn't help but tear up as you whispered those words as satoru left. be happy, always. even if it's without me.

"i had a hard time choosing a ring." you mumbled, mimicking his words.

you smiled but what you were feeling inside was opposite. maybe you shouldn't expect too much because in the end, if reality didn't reach your expectations, it'll just hurt you more.

it really hurts to think that you made a man for another woman but, it is what it is. you're just glad that satoru seemed to cherish his new family now.

he did changed a lot, huh.

"satoru."

"be quick, suguru. i'm a bit busy right now." satoru said as he heard his best friend sigh at the other line.

"did (name) said something to you?" satoru immediately sat properly on his office chair when he heard your name.

"nothing much. she gave me a necklace though, why?"

"i see. look, if you have time today come in her house."

"why? what happened?"

"do you have a time today, at least?"

"i guess i could try." satoru said. "is there something wrong with (name)." satoru asked and there was a long pause from suguru's end before he answered.

-

satoru went back from what it seemed like a long trip as he sat on his office chair.

he stared at a certain velvet box on his table. his black glasses was discarded as he lightly move the office chair left to right.

he did had a hard time choosing a ring. he doesn't know of you still like the same design. did you change your preferences?he doesn't know that's why satoru bought a limited edition ring for you. he was told that the ring brings luck and now he just wanted to throw the ring in the middle of an ocean.

"brings luck my ass." he muttered. he was too tired to think. he refused to believe suguru's words because he just saw you 2 days ago. was suguru playing pranks on him again?

"she's been found in her room. unalive." suguru's words kept repeating inside his head like a broken radio as he clutched the necklace on his hand.

he was supposed to ask you to start over again, to try things out again, from there, he swore that he wouldn't do the same mistake again but it was all too late now.

maybe the universe didn't want you and him to be together again that's why they took you away from him, his son too. he knew he did mistakes back then but was it too much that they have to take his family away forever?

yeah, this must be his punishment for doing those unforgiving things to you.

-

"suguru, do you think (name) would agree if i ask her to start over again?"

"there's nothing wrong with trying, satoru, but know that people tend to change. don't be surprised when she doesn't want you in her life anymore." suguru said as his best friend kept quiet. "but what about them?"

"who?"

"your ex and your son."

"i couldn't care less about her, but i still cherish sanyu since he grew up with me, even if he's not my legal child."

"you don't really want to tell (name) about it?" suguru suggested and satoru couldn't help but think if he could do what his best friend is suggesting.

"what's the point? will it change everything?" satoru mumble, an ache going straight to his chest. "it hurts for me to say this but i only accepted to raise sanyu because i couldn't stop thinking of (name), of having a family with her. i forced myself to believe that he's our son. i didn't even know that (name) is actually carrying our child."

"why don't you just sue your ex for paternity fraud?"

"there's no point in it. she's still sanyu's mother."

"you're too nice, satoru."

no, he wasn't. in fact, he almost sent his ex to prison but he couldn't stop thinking of how sanyu will react if he found out that his mother was sent to jail by his father. he was too young for those things.

but satoru asks himself, why? why does he have to do these things? why does he have to think of how sanyu would feel? they weren't relatives anyway. he could take everything he spent for raising sanyu, he could just leave them to live their own life, but he just couldn't do it.

"if only i could go back in time." satoru mumbled and suguru didn't know what do respond to that anymore. if only.

tags: @skylarlyn823 @mo0nforme @mor-pheus @he4rts444mi @bubblysunwoosworld @arieltate @imaniitheoneee @kaiiriiis @ichikanu @witchbybirth @yoimiya-m @hojoslutoru @itsvalomfg I COULDN'T TAG THE OTHERS SORRY TvT

[elllisaaa]

fjhkvdhfvd I LOVE YOUR BF THOUGHTS SO MUCH!!! you write them so well 😭😭😭 can we please get a vernon one!!! ahhh

thank youuu so much ! i'm really glad this concept gets attention because i really like doing this, hope you'll like it !

BF!VERNON who's maybe not the most expressive but who knows how to show you that he loves you through many other ways.

vernon says "i love you" without any words, and actually, you love it that way a lot. for example, whenever you recommend a song to him or when he sees you listening to something he doesn't know, he's gonna go listen to it too. you have a shared playlist and he also made you a playlist filled with songs that reminded him of you, and the lyrics or vibes sometimes hit so deep it makes you tear up how much he gets you. this is something recurring between you and vernon - the non-verbal communication. you can literally spend hours and hours with each other without even speaking because you don't need words to understand each other. that's something vernon loves a lot because sometimes he just wants to hold you in his arms, scroll on his phone and not talk at all. both of you often have stay at home dates rather than going out, but vernon always makes sure to plan a fun activity - like building legos, trying to learn how to paint or doing scrapbooking with pics of the two of you. it allows you to test some activities you wouldn't usually have and it's fun when it's with him.

"what are we doing tonight baby ?" - "it's a secret, but i know you're gonna love it."

he stares at you a lot whenever you're doing mundane things - washing the dishes, simply reading or when you're putting on makeup. it's so domestic, it makes his heart beat faster and think about marrying you soon. vernon also does this when you're talking with someone else, staring at you because he just loves to see you live and shine. he always has a faint smile on his lips when he's watching you, and generally, he smiles a lot around you. that's something his members quickly noticed, even before the two of you got together. and you never fail to tell him that you love his smile, and that flusters him every time. actually, every one of your compliments makes him shy. however, he often flusters you very easily with some random words or gestures and gifts that make you fall in love with him even more. vernon is the type to just look you in the eyes and bluntly tell you that you're gorgeous just because it crossed his mind suddenly how pretty you are.

"why are you looking at me like that ? is there something wrong with my makeup ?" - "you're so pretty, i don't understand how it's possible."

if sometimes vernon just wants to stay quiet and not say a word, there are other times where the two of you end up talking for hours, jumping from subject to subject because one of you always has something to tell, something to debate about. when you are talking together, it's like you're inside of a little bubble where only you and vernon exist and you love it. that leads to the both of you having so many inside jokes that nobody gets - you're laughing like maniacs when everyone else around you is just confused and doesn't understand anything. honestly, sometimes your couple looks a little awkward from the outside, but it all fits perfectly and the way you're just so right for him is something vernon still has trouble understanding. sometimes, when he thinks that he doesn't deserve you, that he thinks he doesn't do enough to make you happy, you need to remind him that he's been perfect from the start. you can count the times you saw vernon crying with your fingers, but he knows that every time he's down, he can just let go in your embrace and let himself be vulnerable.

"i feel so safe when you're here, i don't ever want you to leave."

BF!VERNON who's just going with the flow because as long as he's inside of you, it doesn't matter if he's in control or not.

he's much more talkative when it comes to sex because he just cannot shut up when you're doing so good for him. whether it's praises, just some random thoughts, babbling or degrading words, he needs to speak to you through it. when he wants to tease you, he whispers his dirty words directly in your ears, knowing how much it turns you on. when he's just so lost in how good you feel, he just says whatever is on his mind - mostly compliments and swear words. when he's in a more romantic mood, he's constantly praising you, telling you again and again that you're perfect and gorgeous. and vernon also likes it when you're talking to him too, loves to hear you say how good he's making you feel, that you're close or that you want more. generally, the noises you make are really appreciated, even going as far as stopping you from putting your hand over your mouth when you think you're too loud because vernon wants to hear it all.

"shit… you're taking me so well, baby, i don't think i'm going to last if you keep squeezing around my cock like that."

just like vernon loves doing new activities with you, he also loves to experiment in the bedroom. you want to test something ? he's down. you have an unusual fantasy that you want to try ? no problem. after all, there's no harm in doing something out of the ordinary - if you both like it, it's good, and if you don't in the end, then it's okay too, you just won't do it again. that's how he discovered some things he didn't think he would like but that slowly became his favorites, like hair pulling for example. you ask him to pull on your hair all the time when he's taking you from behind, and he loves to do it to punish you too, but he came to wonder how it would feel if you pulled on his instead. so he asked, you did it, and he never wanted you to stop. no matter if he's eating you out or fucking you, vernon wants your fingers tugging on his strands hard enough to make it hurt a little. sometimes, you're pulling at each other's hair, moaning together at the feeling.

"want me to pull on your cute ponytail ? then pull on my hair too, yeah ? fuck, just like that…"

as stated before, he loves to watch you do almost anything, but he loves to watch you get off even more. when you're fucking, he cannot detach his eyes from your glistening folds, from his cock thrusting inside of you or from your face contorting in pleasure. so sometimes, he just leans back and asks you to touch yourself for him. he knows you're frustrated because he's just one feet away and he won't touch you, but he can't help it, he loves to see you masturbate. the fact that you whine about how your fingers cannot reach as deep as his, and that it's not fair gets him so hard. if vernon is in a teasing mood, he will even jerk off in front of you, just to make it "even". the feeling of cumming together, eyes in eyes, while you're both touching yourselves is unmatched for him. also a lot of phone sex is involved, whenever he's away, he calls you at night and asks you to facetime him and show him your cunt, to touch yourself in front of the camera for him. sometimes, he's jerking off too, but sometimes he only watches you reach your orgasm while biting his lips.

"show me your pretty cunt, baby. you're needy ? then put one finger in for me."

[buttercupjosh]

The Perfect Proposal (the 4 times you expected that Mat was going to propose + the 1 time he actually did)

(Gif credit to @mattymartin)

word count: 1,968

genres: established relationship, fluff, self-insert

warnings: none

A/N: This story is based off of the song “Joy of My Life” by Chris Stapleton and I make references to this song throughout the story. I highly recommend listening to this song before reading my story. This story is short, sweet and fluffy. It’s not set at a specific moment in time (It’s taking place in a fictional future but you could also say that it’s set this upcoming season or even a past season). It’s written with a female reader in mind because I’m a female of color but the reader doesn’t specifically have to be a POC or a woman and there’s little dialogue. This is not a sequel to Your Favorite Secret (which you can still read and check out and if you want this to be a sequel to that, you can interpret it that way). As always, I’m open to any and all feedback, comments or questions; just put them in my inbox or dm me. Thank you so much in advance for reading, I appreciate it😌

(P.S. I have other stories (linked here) that I have written for other players as well if you want to check it out)

“Someday it will come right on cue.” -Somewhere Love Is Waiting for You from the Schmigadoon TV series soundtrack

Prologue

Meeting Mat changed your life in the best way possible. You took Mat’s breath away when you met up for your very first date and since then, you continued to take his breath away in small doses every time you saw him. He added so much goodness and love into your life and you did the same for him. Mat felt so grateful to have you in his life and even though he made millions, being with you was his greatest treasure. You and Mat deeply appreciated each and every moment you had together, no matter how big or small it was; the two years that you had been together so far were some of your greatest times. You were both so smitten that you always looked at each other with such deep love and devotion and couldn’t get enough of your significant other’s presence. For a while, Mat knew that he wanted to propose to you but he just needed to figure out the best way how to and time when to ask that all-important question.

————————————————————

It finally happened. After 3 challenging years, you finally completed law school and earned your Juris Doctor degree from NYU. All of your friends and family came into town to celebrate your accomplishment. In order to accommodate everyone, Mat graciously rented a large AirBnb house in the Hamptons to host your graduation party. You handled some aspects of the party planning while Mat handled the rest and the party went very well. During the congratulations portion of the evening, Mat wanted to give a quick remark to acknowledge your achievement.

“For the past 2 years, I watched this wonderful person ambitiously work their way through law school. There were a lot of late nights, early mornings and so many case reviews and vocabulary study sessions that I think I could go get a law degree. Y/N, to say that I am proud of you is a massive understatement. My love, you are so amazing and you did it. I love you so much. Because I love you so much, I have a surprise for you.” Mat spoke.

This moment seemed like it was the right time for Mat to ask for your hand in marriage; you had been dating for a while, you lived together and blended your families together, and he had just finished a great speech that made all of the party’s attendees realize how much he was in love with you. Instead, Mat handed you an envelope. Inside the envelope was a copy of a check for the exact amount that you owed in student loans and a letter informing you that your loans were fully paid off. You couldn’t believe what was happening and began to cry.

“How did you do this?”, you mustered out through your tears of joy.

“So you know how you gave me access to your book of important information in case anything happened to you? Well, I asked Liana to call the loan office to pretend to be you and ask for your account balance”, Mat cheesily revealed.

Mat saw firsthand how much distress and frustration law school caused you so he wanted to help out someone he deeply loved by eliminating the stress of having to pay for a student loan; this surprise was better than an engagement ring.

————————————————————

After your graduation party and after the Islanders were eliminated from playoffs, it was the official start of the off-season. This year, it was a milestone birthday for Mat’s dad so the Barzal family decided to do a European summer vacation to celebrate. You were important enough to their family that you had been invited and Liana, Mat’s sister, also invited her best friend to accompany her on the trip.

Hand-in-hand with the man you considered to be the love of your life and his family, for 3 weeks, you explored England, France, Monaco, and Mat’s ancestral homeland of Italy. In England, you indulged in English culture while Mat hilariously attempted a British accent. In France, you shared plenty of kisses with your lover in the City of Love, swooning every time Mat spoke French. In Monaco, you and Mat felt like the protagonists of a spy thriller while hanging out in the city.

Once you arrived in Italy, you got to see a different side of Mat that rarely came out. He had been to Italy several times before but he was thrilled to share all that he knew about that special place with you. Mat glowed differently whenever you got authentic gelato together or when he swam in the waters along the Amalfi Coast. Of course, throughout the trip, you still spent plenty of time with Mat’s parents, sister, and her friend and attended a lovely birthday dinner on a boat for Mat’s dad while visiting Sicily.

On the plane ride traveling back to Canada after your whirlwind European tour, you thought to yourself that you were going to come back to North America with a new jewelry addition to your left hand; you did have a lot of date nights and one-on-one time with Mat on the trip. However, your wonderful boyfriend did get you a gorgeous Cartier love bracelet from the official store in Paris and you were returning back with the gift of good memories that were created with your future in-laws.

————————————————————

The remainder of the off-season went by so quickly; between weddings, summer holidays, and other events all happening, you and Mat were swept in so many different directions. Time flies when you’re having fun and soon, it was already time to return to Long Island for the hockey season.

The usual ups, downs, and chaos of the hockey season lingered in your household but you navigated through it together. As the season went on, you spent a lot of time studying for the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam and Universal Bar Exam, which allowed you to become eligible to be admitted to the New York State Bar next year. Even though you had those responsibilities, you still supported Mat at most of his home games. One of the things about Mat that you loved was how he would always quietly tiptoe into your shared home after a late game but he loved how you always waited up for him to come home after every game, regardless of what time he returned. Before you both knew it, the year was winding down and it was almost Christmas time. You and Mat had decided to host Christmas this year and both of your families were coming. This wasn’t the first time that both of your families had been together to celebrate an occasion; they were there all together for your law school graduation earlier in the year and both sides enjoyed being together as one cohesive unit but for some reason, things felt different to you this holiday season.

You spent hours preparing and making sure that everything was right for the arrival of your guests. Christmas came and went wonderfully. It was so nice to have your families together during the holidays. You gifted Mat a new game day tie and a gift card to one of his favorite road restaurants; Mat got you a nice bag to carry all of your work things and a personalized padfolio for you to take all of your legal notes in.

Yes, you were secretly expecting a diamond underneath the tree this year but it was okay because you still got other great gifts as well. Despite wanting something else, you still deeply cherished the time you got to spend with your loved ones.

————————————————————

After the holidays were over, you and Mat settled back into your respective routines until it was All-Star Break. Mat was not chosen for the All-Star Game that year and some of the Islanders players and families decided to go to the Bahamas for their team All-Star Break trip. The time away gave you and Mat both some essential rest and relaxation. At the end of February, you were scheduled to take the Universal Bar Exam but you took a break from studying to enjoy your mini-vacation. You stayed with your lover and company at a phenomenal resort; you swam with dolphins, relaxed at the spa, and ate so much tasty food. You also enjoyed lots of group activities with Mat and his teammates and their respective significant others. During the trip, one of Mat’s best friends’, Anthony, and his long-term girlfriend, Emma got engaged. It stung a little to see someone else reach the relationship milestone you deeply desired to share with Mat and you had expected that it was going to be you and your lover’s turn to share that special romantic moment on this trip, however, you were happy for your friends.

————————————————————

One evening, you came home from a long, exhausting day of work. After passing both the Universal Bar Exam and Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam and completing some other requirements, you were admitted to the New York State Bar last month and got a job as a junior attorney. It was a pleasant surprise to see Mat cooking; he was subtly singing in the kitchen and tenderly caring for some handmade pasta. You couldn’t quite make out what song Mat was singing but it didn’t matter what it was because you had caught him singing songs that you’ve played around the house and pop songs from the radio plenty of times before. You smiled to yourself as watched him in his element before slipping away for a much-needed shower.

After you came out of the shower and changed, there was a beautiful plate of pasta waiting for you on the table. Mat tapped deep into his Italian heritage and made a delectable dinner for the two of you. You shared with Mat the details of work and although, he may not quite fully understand everything you were expressing your feelings about, he still listened to you as you rambled on. After dinner concluded, you and Mat were going to share a box of bakery cannolis and watch a movie on the couch but Mat told you to wait at the table and suddenly got up. He returned to the room with a look of nervousness on his face. You asked Mat if he was okay but you could tell that he had something important to say.

“I’ve been holding onto this ring for a while. There were so many other times that I wanted to ask but there’s just something that feels so right about this moment. Sitting here, I realized something very important. I want to spend the rest of my life, making you dinner when I can and listening to you speak. I want to continue to come home from my games to you and wake up next to you. I have the greatest honor of knowing and loving you. You have the sweetest heart that’s made of gold and you are like an angel brought down to Earth from Heaven. I want to be by your side forever. Y/N, you are the joy of my life. Will you marry me?” Mat declared while holding out the engagement ring of your dreams in a Tiffany blue box.

You were speechless because Mat was right; this was the perfect moment. You looked straight into Mat’s green eyes that you admired so dearly and accepted his marriage proposal; you were both super excited to embark on this new journey in your relationship. You and Mat swayed with each other to the sound of your fiance’s voice, serenading you to “Joy Of My Life” by Chris Stapleton, the same song Mat was singing to himself earlier. Patience was an important virtue and all of that waiting paid off at the right time.

[eunnieboo]

IYHM ask replies! (2/3)

🌸 @csevet asked:

hi my copy of iyhm just came in and my fiancee and i snuggled up and read the whole thing cover to cover and CRIED!!! i love when lesbians 💕💞💝💗💝💗💘💞💖💗💝

AHHHHH thank you SO much!!! OMGGGGG 🥺 live laugh lesbian..... 💞💗💖💕💖💞💕💖💗

🌸 @chrysalis-the-butterfly asked:

I read If You'll Have Me a few months ago and I loved it! Your art is so pretty and Momo and PG are such cool characters! 🥰 If you're okay with sharing, I'd be interested to hear what inspired you during the creative process? Were there any pieces of media or any other characters which influenced the formation of Momo and PG? Or did you do your own thing?

oh my gosh! thank you!! i really love character interactions and relationship dynamics, so i wanted to depict two girls who seemed like opposites - one cool and laid-back, the other soft and sweet. after a while they started to take on a life of their own, and i thought it'd be wonderful if their story could evoke the feeling of a shoujo romance!

i had a lot of things on my mind when i wrote the script... friendship, intimacy, communication... communication can be so hard! sometimes it's harder with someone you're close to because their opinion is so important to you. and what happens when you've got a character who's non-confrontational and has low self-esteem + someone who prefers actions over words, and would rather burn bridges than admit to feeling vulnerable? how would they get past that? i wanted to write their flaws as believable, and how their life experiences have shaped the way they think about themselves / the way they respond to personal conflict... but also how they learn from each other and grow ❤️ tysm for the question!!

@bisexualgoof asked:

Hi Eunnie! I just finished reading “If You’ll Have Me” and let me tell you, it was spectacular! I saw it in a local bookstore the other day and it was a no brainer to grab. The characters are so fun, the story is beautiful and heartfelt, and honestly every character is attractive… I especially fell in love with the pages of the books without words, especially 312-313, it made me cry. Such beautiful art! I related to PG’s annoyance with her long hair, I felt very seen with her comments. I’ve definitely said “I’d like to forget” so many times myself, right to my butch heart haha. Thank you for sharing this story with the world, and thank you in particularly for your acknowledgment at the end of the book, it made me feel seen. What an amazing love story, hope to see more of this adorable couple in the future!

oh my goodness!! this is so lovely and wonderful and ahhh T_T thank you so very much. it's such a dream, having these girls be out in the world with their personalities and backstories revealed at last! and i'm so happy to hear about the cast and side characters, i love designing people hehe ♥ i'll definitely keep drawing this couple, alongside more sapphic couples that are to come 😍 thank you!!

🌸 @skittles-rainbow-cat asked:

HI HI HI!!! you’ve been one of my fave artists forever and i just got done with iyhm and it’s sooooo amazing im in love with it. also i think strawberry blonde by chloe moriondo fits mono and pg very well :] i hope you’re having a good day and thank you for all your art it heals me in many ways <3333

HIIII omg!!! thank you so much! this song is so cuteeee oh my gosh this line:

Takes my hand in hers when the lights aren’t on Smaller than mine and oh god I am gone

it's so sweet ;_; thank you forever, i hope you're having a wonderful day!! <3 <3 <3

🌸 @lord-of-the-froggies asked:

Howdy Eunnie! I know you're probably swamped with work right now, but I just wanna let you know that I got my copy of your book today!! I'm gonna start reading it right away, it looks and feels amazing. From a fellow Washington artist to another--congratulations on such a huge achievement!

yay hello fellow washingtonian! and fellow artist!! thank you so much for your kind words 🥺 and i'm so glad the book got to you safely! wishing you a happy read~

🌸 Anonymous asked:

I just found your art today and after scrolling through your stuff I went and pre-ordered your book. I'm so excited!!

omggg thank you that means so much!!! ;_; <3

🌸 @ddooyoung asked:

I got my (signed!) copy of the book, and I love it SO MUCH. It's everything I was hoping and more. I love finally getting to know them, especially Momo. Since the first time I saw them, I thought Momo was a lot like me and now I have confirmation 😆 Thank you so much for writing such a wonderful story!!! I'm excited for everything you do 💗

WAHH thank you so much!! yesss i'm so overjoyed to finally share their story after so long! i hope the signature turned out okay, i was very nervous signing books for the first time (shaky hand and everything) 😱 i think next time it would be fun to make a custom stamp and stamp a doodle next to my signature hehe. thank you again!!! 💕

🌸 Anonymous asked:

I somehow missed the news about your having created a whole damn book?? was just flipping through yu & me books's holiday gift guide and did a double take when I saw priscilla and momo!! zoomed in and sure enough, there was your name at the bottom! congrats on ihym and congrats on being featured on rec lists from shops as cool as yu & me 🎉😍

omggg thank you thank you!! 🥰 AHHH yu & me books looks so amazing! i've been to new york just once but if i ever get to go back i have to visit them... i'm always looking for indie bookstores to throw my money at 😤

🌸 Anonymous asked:

1. Will there be an “if you’ll have me” sequel? 2. Is Momo her full name or a Nick name? If it’s a Nick name what is her full name? Thank you i love your work! ❤️😊

ahh there's no sequel planned as of right now! but i'd love to make one if i get the chance... i have some ideas that i think would be fun <3 and momo gardner is her full name! i liked gardner because it made me think of flowers ☺️❤️ thank you so much!!

🌸 @upsidedown-shadow-dreamer asked:

Hello, long time fan here. If You'll Have Me was delivered an hour ago and I've already finished my first read. OMG it's AMAZING. I love the story, the beautiful art, the inner thoughts, the pacing, the page color changes for back story… Just major WOW. I hope you are so proud of this work. I'm already looking forward to reading it again. Thank you!!!

this is sooooo AHHHHH T_T i'm in tears. i can't tell you how happy and thrilled i am to hear this!!! it's so encouraging and uplifting and ahh!! i want to make more stories... and just knowing that this book will be read by the same person more than once, omg! it's truly the highest of praise. thank you from the bottom of my heart <333

🌸 Anonymous asked:

Hello!! I just remembered I could borrow graphic novels as e-books from my local library, found IYHM, devoured the entire thing in one sitting, then went through your tags so I could look at all your other IYHM art, and I was wondering if you'll make more stories about Momo and PG because I can't get enough of them! Absolutely obsessed with these two and I love seeing them so happy together 💖💖💖💖

hello!! oh i'm absolutely over the moon about this! i can definitely see myself making a follow-up book if i'm so lucky 🙏 but i'll keep on drawing more minicomics and illustrations no matter what!! thank you so much for this wonderful message 💕💕💕💕

🌸 Anonymous asked:

hi!! love love love your art!!! do you think we can expect to see another graphic novel about momo and priscilla in the future?

🌸 Anonymous asked:

I’ve read IYHM so many times already and I absolutely loved it!!!! Are you planning on writing another book with Momo and PG? Is is there a way we can buy more of your stories?

thank you both so much!!!! <3 a sequel is actually one of the ideas i pitched for my second book! my editor cautioned against it in case IYHM didn't perform well, so i ended up going in a different direction - but my fingers are crossed for future opportunities 😤 realistically, it will probably depend on sales... but for the record, i'd want to do one regardless of the numbers...

i have one more book coming out, which i'm working on right now! the timeline is a bit up in the air atm but i'll try to keep everyone posted. making a book is so slow but i'm so grateful to you all for waiting 🥺💛

🌸 @randomqueernoun asked:

Do you make webcomics for other apps/websites? If yes where can I find them and what do I search in them to find your comics?

ahh not at the moment! but thank you SO much for the interest! one of my biggest goals right now is to set up a website where i have all my work in one place, and that would definitely be the place where i post future webcomics 👀

also, just as an aside... i want to make webcomics so bad. i think after my next book, i might take a break from traditional publishing to do that. sometimes i can't believe i'm drawing hundreds of pages i can't post... i'm like, how are people supposed to read this if i can't show them? how will they know?! ahh it kills me... but yes... someday!!!

part 3 to come~

[leonstoenailunderhisbed]

What Was I Made For?

Summary: Leon, a bodyguard assigned to watch and protect his client, confesses his feelings for the reader. Although he knew he shouldn’t be involved in a relationship with his client, he still reaches out for you.

Warning: fluff/comfort. smut. afab reader. bodyguard!leon x female!reader. oral (f receiving), missionary, slight age gap (Leon is 27 and reader is 21+) loss of virginity. protected sex. CONSENTED. not proofread lol.

A/N: i got inspired by multiple things; jo and laurie, pride and prejudice, i love you and what was i made for by billie eilish. i wanted to try and write a romance so pure that it makes people cry. I think this is my cheesiest work so far.

“I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century, to repeat to you once again my vow of eternal fidelity and everlasting love.” - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Your father had hired a bodyguard to protect you while he was away. He loved you, like any father would, but his work seemingly came first. Not that you had any word in it anyway. It seemed that most of the choices he made for you were clearly out his heart and not out malice.

But when the tall, muscular, blonde man entered your own house, you couldn't help but feel a little angry. Not at the stranger, he was just hired to do his job, you were mostly mad at your dad for even thinking you didn't have what it takes to defend yourself. You hated feeling small and be seen as weak but again, there was nothing you could about it except take it.

Leon was his name, Leon Scott Kennedy. He's quiet, blunt, and always had a serious expression on his face. You couldn't read him- no one could, really. It was a little unsettling but overtime you grew closer to him.

He'd help you out when you needed a ride, he would reach the highest shelf when you wanted something from the pantry; he was a man you can depend on. And he, too, grew to care about you.

What you didn’t know was that every time he saw you or was with you, his heart would skip a beat. His entire being would feel like that satisfying part of a song; the bridge or the chorus or whichever part it may be. He felt complete, but he also felt empty. For how could a girl like you love him like he loved you?

Fear. He was scared, scared that you might push him away and abandon him like everyone has. That he’d have to fetch for himself again and live in solitude until his job required him to be sent away.

And so he buried these feelings deep down. He promised to himself that in order to not get hurt, he’d tough it out. That he won’t soften on you; he promised himself to stay a strong man and not let the wild emotions in his heart deter him from doing his job. And that’s what he did. Feelings were deeper than six feet, never to be resurfaced again.

Tonight was rough for you, so you found yourself in a bar. You didn't tell Leon, why should he know about this? He'd run off and tell your father about you drinking and getting with some random guy.

So, you turned off your location and put your phone on 'Do Not Disturb.' You needed an escape, a break from current reality. And what better way than to spend it on drinking away.

But you couldn't get one drink in without him bursting through the doors of the bar. His eyes landed on you, and he dashed towards you, "What are you doing here?"

His fingers wrapped around your wrist before the cup of liquor could touch your lips. You furrowed your brows and stared at his scowl, he looked beyond pissed. You knew he had every right to feel that way but at the same time, you desperately wanted to be away for a while.

"How did you find me?" you asked him.

"I'm a government agent, Y/n. I have my ways," He replied as he took your glass and put it back down on the bar table, "C'mon, let's get you home."

He pulled you up by gently taking your forearm, he guided the two of you out and away from the bar.

“No, Leon, I don’t want to go home. I want-“

“I don’t care what you want, this isn’t safe for you. I will take you back whether you like it or not,” he quickly turned to look you. He was mad and his face was not hiding it.

With a sigh, you reluctantly let him take you away. He ended taking you both to his apartment as your place was quite literally one hour away and it was dead in the night.

“What were you thinking?” He seethed through gritted teeth, “What if something had happened to you, huh? Were you just planning on getting drunk? How would you have gotten back home if I didn’t get there?”

You were currently sitting down on his couch, wearing his clothes that he let you borrow since you didn’t feel comfortable in the dress you were wearing. Right now, he was going through one of his heated lectures where it made you feel like a child. Curse him and his authorative voice.

“What were you even doing there? That’s not a place you belong and you know it,” he stood in front of you as he glared down at you.

“I don’t know, I needed a break,” you mumbled.

Leon scoffed and deepened his furrowed brows, “A break? From what? What could possibly make you want to go to one of the most dangerous place a woman could ever be in. Don’t you ever think about your safety? What if a man had taken advantage of you and you’d gone missing by tomorrow morning?” Leon sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he paced around his living room.

His apartment was nice- small but cozy. It was very him, in a way. Minimal decor with blank walls, devoid of any pictures. He never takes pictures and you realized this a long time ago when he’d gaze at the walls in your house, staring at your pictures when you were young. He liked them but he also felt jealous. Leon didn’t have these pictures. But he did have memories he wished he could keep forever.

He was beyond stressed for you. He wouldn’t have forgiven himself if anything had happened to you. As these thought ran through his mind, he couldn’t help but feel a small tug at the string in his heart. Something he knew all too well. A feeling he’s been keeping locked away seemed to be coming back at the wrong time.

“Leon, give me a break. I just wanted to have some fun,” you mumbled as you looked at him pace back and forth like a madman. You knew he was concerned for you, but was that really it? Just concern?

“Fun? Your idea of fun is getting drunk and have creeps around you? Bullshit, Y/n. Bullshit,” he quickly retaliated.

“What was the real reason? And don’t lie to me, I can tell when you’re lying,” he grumbled and stopped pacing to look back at you.

You sighed, “I… I wanted to be cool. All my friends have gone out and had fun but not me. I’m always cooped up like a prisoner. When am I going to have my fun?”

His eyes softened slightly, very slightly, but he was still scowling at you. Do not break, is what he repeatedly told himself.

“Leon, I’m an adult. I want to make stupid decisions. I want to get drunk and have sex with random strangers,” you looked down at your hands playing with the drawstrings of the sweatpants you were wearing, “I wanted to get drunk and… lose my virginity,” you whispered.

He stood frozen in place, but then he sighed and rubbed his face with his hand, “Jesus Christ, Y/n… you’re-“

He looked at you exasperatedly, “You’re way too young to be going out and drinking with random guys— especially like this.” He leaned over you, placing his hands on the couch armrests on either side of your body before continuing. “God, I could smack you right now for being so stupid.”

He obviously didn’t mean it but he couldn’t help it. You worried him, you made him want to act irrational every time something bad was threatening you.

Your eyes slightly widened from how close he got but you weren’t complaining, “Too young?” You repeated in a whisper. You furrowed your brows and leaned closer to his face, “I’m not being stupid. It’s embarrassing being a virgin at this age. When did you lose your virginity, huh?” You quickly instigated.

“At 21,” Leon replied, his scowl lessening as he noticed that you leaned in closer. “And I was sober, too.”

His eyes remained fixated on your eyes and he stared deeply into them, “You are still too young though. That’s what I’m trying to say. When someone tells you, live your life, they don’t literally mean being in the center of danger."

You groaned and leaned back against the couch, seemingly frustrated, “I’m an adult, Leon.”

You rubbed your eyes and then looked at him, “All my friends have had sex before and I’m still seen like a fucking nun. At least you lost your virginity, who knows when I’m going to lose it,” you grumbled and crossed your arms over your chest.

He was quiet for a bit. He paced around some more before speaking again with a stern tone. "Just because you're an adult-- barely, I might add-- doesn't mean you know everything. Hell, you're still a virgin for a reason."

He sat down on the couch next to you as he tried to think of what else to say. Leon sighed and leaned forward, his elbows now resting on his knees as he looked back at you, "I can just picture it if you do go home with some guy."

Leon puts his hands back to the armrests, "Idiot pulls your pants down, gets on top of you and finishes in two seconds-"

“But at least I’ll get fucked, right?” You interjected and looked away, “It’ll be nice if someone did that, except the finishing quickly- obviously.”

“I mean- that’s gotta be an exaggeration too, right? Who finishes in two seconds?” You mumbled and looked back at him.

Leon sighs, his gaze softening slightly. He opens his mouth to say something before stopping and closing it again, “Jesus…” He takes a deep breath before speaking again. “No, it’s really not an exaggeration. There are a good number of guys who think that they’re in a movie when they’re with a girl like you. And then—“

Leon leans in close to you and grabs your arm, “You’ll hate yourself if you lose your virginity this way.”

You looked at his eyes and then sighed, “So what should I do? Be the only one who hasn’t slept with anyone before? I haven’t even kissed anyone and that is embarrassing. Everyone’s kissed someone before but not me,” you muttered.

You didn’t mind him grabbing your arm, you didn’t even notice it since you were too deep into the conversation. Why did he care anyway? It’s not like he’s going to tell your dad about this, is he?

He wouldn’t. You and him both knew he wouldn’t betray you like that. Because you both knew that deep down, feelings were there. Feelings that made the two of you act exactly like this. Like kids fighting.

“I know I’m still young but c’mon… you know kids my age have done things… I don’t want to be left out, you whispered.

“Goddamnit..” Leon groaned and grabbed the other arm, holding them in both of his huge, calloused hands, “Stop being so damn self-conscious.” He glared down at you, the intensity of his eyes nearly causing your heart rate to spike a bit.

“And stop thinking about other people. You’re young and you’ve already lost the most important one…” Leon leans in even closer to you, almost so close that your noses are touching.

You furrowed your brows confused, “I have?” You muttered, “I haven’t…” your voice trailed off as you tried to look away but you couldn’t. His blue eyes were piercing right through your eyes as both your noses were so close to touching.

He stared at you in silence, his nostrils flaring from his deep breathing. Then, without warning, he kissed you firmly on the lips, his lips meeting yours for a few solid seconds. Freezing as you felt his lips on yours, not realizing what he was doing, but then you melted. Your heart was beating so fast but you didn’t protest. You closed your eyes for those few seconds and when he pulled back you looked at him with a dazed look. He sighed and took a deep breath before speaking again, “Idiot.”

“Why… you…” you stuttered as you tried to think of something to say. Your cheeks were coated pink as you licked your lips, still tasting his lips on your lips.

Leon leaned back and glanced at you. His face was flushed, but his expression was nothing but a mix of pure tenderness and soft longing. He rubbed his thumb against the side of your cheek and looked down into your eyes before speaking in a tender, whispery voice,

“Because you won’t listen, you know you’ll regret it if you do something like that with some guy, and I didn’t want that to happen to you.”

His heart was beating out of his chest, he couldn’t believe he’d just done that but he didn’t regret it. If he could have a little bit of you, he’d take it with him to his grave.

“So… you did it instead…” you mumbled as you looked at him with big eyes. Your pupils were dilated as you stared at his eyes and then down at his lips. Then your eyes shifted back to his blue eyes again. It was unbelievable that he took it upon himself to give you your first kiss. And it left you wanting more. But was that allowed?

He looked down at your lips for a moment before looking back up. He noticed your wide, glazed over eyes, the rapid breathing, and how your cheeks were coated in pink. He noticed everything about you in this moment.

He leaned back in, close enough to be right in front of your face. Then, he placed his hand back on the side of your cheek and pulled you in for a second kiss, “I’d rather it be me instead of some guy who’ll probably just abandon you the moment they finish.”

His second kiss made you melt, you closed your eyes and brought your hand to the back of his head as you moved to straddle his lap. Once he pulled back, you looked at him, “Does that mean… you’ll take my virginity too?” You asked quietly. The question made you nervous but you still had to know if he’d do everything you just mentioned.

Leon had to take a deep breath in and out as he was getting ahead of himself here. He was barely holding back in his own eyes, and you could tell that he wanted to do so many things to you in just this moment.

But his answer was a slow nod, “Yes… I will.”

To which you could only respond with kissing him again. He grabbed your hips as you straddled him, taking you in one of his arms while you leaned down for the kiss. He moaned softly as your lips met once again for another long moment. He sighed slowly once you pulled away, leaning you back against his arm, “God, do you know how tempting it is to just carry you to my room right now and do everything to you?”

“Please do it,” you whispered as you looked down at him, your chest panting. You wanted him to absolutely wreck you. To make your first time unforgettable.

He groaned deeply at your words and lifted you off of his arm. He then picked you up, carrying you in his arms as he walked into the hall. Leon carried you into his room, and then gently laid you down on his bed, climbing on top of you and pinning you down once he did.

There were many things Leon expected in his life but none of them ever led to this moment. Sure, he’d be fine with kissing you and then pulling away to keep you safe. But that’s not what you wanted either. His heart kept pulling and pulling but he tried so hard to fight it. He tried not to fall too deep. Keyword tried.

Leon looked down at you as you lay there with your hair sprawled out and your legs spread open. Your blushing cheeks paired with your wide, dreamy eyeballs made it easy for him to feel something deep in his gut. He leaned down to your neck and began to kiss and bite it, “You have no idea about the things you make me feel.”

You closed your eyes and rolled your head back to give him more space to keep giving you hickeys on your neck. Your hands wrapped around the back of his head, gently tugging at his hair. You bit down on your bottom lip to try and suppress moans and whimpers daring to leave your throat.

“Leon,” you moaned softly as he kissed and bit your neck.

He couldn’t help it. When you tugged at his hair, his eyes rolled back for a moment from how good it felt. When you moaned his name, he had to bite your neck one last time before leaning back on his knees and taking off his shirt.

His muscly body was on display as he unbuttoned his fly and took his pants off, going back on top of you to pin you down against the bed again, “God, you have no idea how much I’ve wanted to do this.”

He remained in his boxer-briefs and you couldn’t help but just stare at the hot man on top of you. Heart palpitations increased as you noticed the look he had on his face- pure lust and… love?

“Me too,” you whispered as you also hastily took off your shirt and sweatpants, tossing them away to God knows where.

You both seemed to have been wanting this. It would be a lie if chemistry didn’t exist between the two of you, but it was something that was kept away and ignored. There were so many things that go against the two of you and yet, you both have found yourselves in this moment. Entangled by the strings of both of your hearts pulling you together as one puzzle piece.

As soon as he saw you down to your bra and panties, it was enough for Leon’s blood to boil and he didn’t have the capacity to wait any longer. He pulled them off of you faster than you could react, leaving you completely naked on his bed. He grinned down at you, taking one of your hands and guiding it over his chest so you could feel his muscles.

“You’re beautiful,” he muttered, looking at you like you were his angel- his goddess. A siren that captured his heart.

Your cheeks got even more red as he guided your hand to his muscly chest, causing you to whine quietly.

His smirk grew and his eyes sparkled with mischief as they looked down at you. With one hand wrapped around yours and the other at the small of your back, he leaned down to softly bite your neck again.

This was the perfect moment for him, he felt like he could finally be closer to you. To finally feel you for the first time. A renaissance, a revival of the piece of art that was under him. The rebirth of happiness.

He paused for a moment and stared down at you before leaning in yet again, “Y/n…”

“God, just ruin me,” you whispered as he leaned down on your neck again to bite and kiss it. Pink and purple spots beginning to coat your delicate skin from the hickeys and love-bites. That man was desperate, deprived of love and you could tell by the way he was handling your body. It was like fire spreading through your body, the warm sensation running down your skin as he licked and nipped every crevice of your neck and collarbone. Marking you, claiming you, loving you.

He felt his entire body vibrate as those words left your lips. His eyes began to roll back one last time and he groaned lowly. Without waiting for another moment, Leon started to slowly move his head southward. He gently ran his hands along the side of your body as he kissed and bit your shoulders, chest, and then the top of your breasts.

“Leon,” you moaned softly as he began to kiss your breasts, feeling them become even more sensitive. Your nipples were hard from arousal to the point where they ached for more. Your hands wrapped around his head as your fingers interlaced with his blond hair, pulling him closer to your chest.

He was being gently encouraged to stay there. To continue to torture you. And he did. Once you tell a dog to stay, he stays. And god, he’d be a dog for you if you asked him to. To him, you were the warmth of the sun shining through his window.

To him, you were the reason he wakes up early in the morning.

To him, you were the reason why even bothered to stay.

To him, you were everything.

With one hand still holding yours, the other one moved to the side of your thigh to hold your leg in place. He kissed your chest again, this time with more intensity as his hands gripped your thigh even tighter. One hand slid up your thigh, slowly teasing the line of your underwear.

You both have longed for this. The unspoken words exchanged through glances said enough.

The way you spoke his name in a soft, breathy voice was enough to send a bolt of electricity through his body. He liked what he was doing to you, he really did.

He leaned in again, this time placing his mouth right on the line where his hand was. His fingers pulled your panties to the side as his eyes set on your wet cunt. He used his tongue to lightly brush back and forth, barely even teasing you. And then, without warning, he slid his fingers inside you.

You closed your eyes tightly shut and arched your back, “Leon!” You whimpered and moaned softly. It all felt so fulfilling.

His tongue, his hands- it all sent wave after wave of pleasure. Your hands gripped his bedsheets as you moaned his name like a prayer.

“Leon, Leon, Leon,” you breathed out.

You were so sweet and soft when you were at this state. That was something he loved about you. And when you were begging for him like this? It was enough for every part of him to get a little hot.

He slid his fingers in deeper, moving his fingers around a bit before curling them and moving them inside you. All while his mouth and tongue nipped at your clit.

He moaned softly as he did, still teasing you with his tongue. You tasted sweet. A sweet nectar that drove him over the edge. Well not really but he could. He could cum just now from how delicious your pussy tasted.

His tongue dragged along your wet folds, eliciting a shuddered moan from you. He loved your reactions, three way his touch affected you so much when he felt like he was doing nothing.

He’d do more if you let him into your heart, he thought.

“Oh my god,” you breathed out as he curled his fingers, “Leon,” you moaned softly in a whiny voice.

Leon’s body was twitching from all the noises you were spouting and the way your legs were squirming. It was a perfect mix of adorable and tantalizing in the best way possible.

He knew you were about to cum, given the fact your moans became more short and breathy. You merge began to twitch just a little and he had to grip your thighs to hold them down.

His fingers moved faster, his tongue moved quicker, but most importantly, the strength of his grasp on you and himself increased. He was close to losing himself at this point, ready to reach his peak at any moment.

“Leon!” You moaned a little too loud. Your back arched as your toes curled when you came on his face. His tongue and fingers made you feel like you reached heaven- nirvana too.

He moaned loudly as you released yourself against his face, grabbing onto your hips to keep you in place and prevent you from slipping away from him. But even so, he could taste and smell you on him, and the sight of such a pretty girl in this state turned him on infinitely more.

His blue eyes barely visible from his dilated pupils, his blonde hair shining from the light of his room, how your cum dripped down his face. But you couldn’t help but shift your focus to his lips. They were so much more plump than before and he had this look like he just struck gold.

At that moment, he pulled his hand out from between your legs and moved it to your shoulder, moving your leg and hand away from him.

He slowly sat up and leaned close to your ear again, “You taste so sweet I want to keep you all to myself,” he whispered.

You couldn’t believe you had my first orgasm from his tongue and fingers, you were left a panting mess. But that wasn’t the end. You looked up at him and kissed him as he was still on top of you. You could taste yourself on his lips and it caused you to moan just a little bit. And he groaned when you kissed him.

He broke the kiss off once more, breathing heavily and staring down at you. Your body was still covered in a slight glow from the orgasm you just had. His eyes were fixed on yours, his lips wet with your taste.

"God, I need you," he breathed in a low tone, staring back at your body.

“I need you too,” you whispered as you wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled him down with you. Your lips finding his again and his hands immediately went to your waist.

He groaned deeply as he kissed you again, diving back into the heat of the moment as his body was filled with every emotion in the book.

He felt something in that moment though… he felt something he’s only felt a few times in his life, something that could really take him to the highest heights and then throw him down to the lowest depths.

“I love you,” he whispered softly as he breathed out, looking deeply in your eyes and staring at you with pure adoration.

His tone, his words, his eyes- he meant it. And you knew it.

Your eyes were full of pure adoration as well. In this moment you had realized that this time, you had fallen for him. You loved him too.

The stolen glances from when you were in the same room, when he’s had to help you out countless times, when he comforted you on your lowest days, and when he would make you the happiest by remembering your favorite things. He was more than just a bodyguard to you. He became your world.

“I love you too,” you whispered back. You stared deeply into his eyes as your fingers gently brushed away blonde strands of hair from his face.

His heart was beating rapidly as he took in every single touch and movement you made to him. From the strokes of your fingers, to your soft voice, to the stare of admiration in your eyes, to the way you spoke to his face.

He was all yours now, this girl who was his to protect and cherish until his last breath.

There was no hiding how much he loved you by the way his eyes looked at you. It was clear in this moment that his feelings for you were genuine and honest. He didn't like you just because you were pretty and cute. He loved you for all of who you were.

He could feel tears stinging the back of his eyes as he leaned in and kissed you lightly, "I'll protect you until the day I die," he told you, staring deeply into your eyes.

His body was trembling as his heart beat against his chest again from these words. This was a feeling he truly didn't deserve. How could this girl love someone like him so much?

Your words brought out the feelings in his heart that he so desperately wanted to keep hidden away. He took in every moment of this, the way your eyes looked at him and the way your delicate hands were touching his face.

He felt complete. The strings playing at his heart were in your mercy and he wouldn’t want it any other way.

He pulled you in even tighter than he had ever done before. His hands were all over you as he kissed you repeatedly once more, his lips pressing against your own as your own taste filled his mouth once again.

He didn’t want to stop. He didn’t want this moment to end.

He wanted to live in this moment forever.

He pulled away from you once more, looking straight down at your body with his blue eyes looking down at you, "You know, you're the first girl to ever really make me feel this way.” he muttered.

“Me too,” you whispered as you stared up at him with the same level of adoration and love.

No matter how many times you could deny it, you felt just the same as he did in this very moment. Your heart felt like it would combust at any moment from the fact that your feelings are being reciprocated. That you both felt the exactly same thing if not even more. And that was enough for you to want to be with him. Regardless of him being your bodyguard.

“I want you,” you whispered.

A warm feeling ran through his entire body after hearing these words. This was something he could never truly describe, a feeling that was so strong yet so light at the same time. The love coming from you was enough to give him an uncontrollable urge to make all of his fantasies and desires come true. He couldn't resist you anymore, not with this level of mutual love between the two.

"I want you too," he whispered back. "Just promise me one thing. Promise me that, no matter what happens, I'll never lose you."

“Say it,” he begged, “Promise me I’ll never lose you…” he begged in a whisper. It was a plea, he dreaded the idea of losing you. He wanted you forever. Just the mere thought of you being away from his arms was enough to make his heart shatter a bit.

He needed to hear you say it. To tell him everything was going to be okay and you’ll forever be his. Because at the end of the day, no matter how much shit he’s been through, he also dreams of having his true love by his side every time he wakes up.

“I promise,” you whispered, “I promise you’ll never lose me… if you let me have you.”

One simple sentence from your soft lips and he was ready to melt and fall at your feet. He was yours and you were his in that moment.

"You have me," was what he responded with, as he gently leaned in to kiss your neck and jaw again.

“And you have me,” you closed your eyes as you whispered to him. You wrapped your hands around his hair as your hips bucked against his

"I've always had you," he spoke in barely audible tone as it was filled with the sounds of wet kisses.

His hand slid down your side again, gently sliding underneath your hip to hold you in place as he began to bite your neck again. All of his attention was now on you, and there was no longer another thought in his mind.

You moaned softly at his kisses and touches, “Leon,” you breathed out as you tugged at his hair.

His breath hitched and he pulled back slowly, his blue eyes gazing down at you as you squirmed around under him. His lips were swollen from the heat of your kisses and his jaw was clenched tightly from the pure pleasure rushing down his body.

He sighed softly for a moment and his eyes trailed down to the dresser next to the bed. He picked up the condoms from the drawer, opened the pack and opened one of them, before looking back up at you.

As much as he’d love to do it raw, he would never hurt his baby. His girl. His darling. He wasn’t that kind of man. No… he’s better than that.

"I'll go slowly, okay?"

You nodded and stared as he opened the condom, “Yeah… I’m okay with that,” you reassured in a quiet voice, a small and shy smile tugging at your lips.

He felt something in his heart when seeing that small, shy smile. It hurt how cute you were. The way you said your words in that shy voice and the little smile, it all made his heart ache with happiness.

"You're so beautiful," he muttered softly before leaning in, "I hope this is everything you've thought it would be.”

With a lot of care and time, he pulled down his boxer-briefs and put the condom on. He made sure it was nice and snug. He hovered over you for a moment, his hands slowly moving to your waist and hip.

"Promise me you'll tell me if it hurts the first time, alright?” He whispered as he slowly shifted back over top of you, making sure he was positioned just right.

You nodded as you felt him position himself while being on top of you, “I will,” you reassured. Your hands found their way to his back as you embraced him.

He nodded back as he took a slow, steady breath in and out. He could feel your touch through his back, your hands slowly running along his back as he slowly entered you for the very first time.

You felt his cock slowly enter your cunt and it made you grip his shoulder blades as you closed your eyes.

He groaned softly as he sighed in relief, slowly pushing himself in until his pelvic made contact with you. He held himself in place and looked into your eyes for approval. To know that everything was okay before he’d start thrusting into you.

Your eyes closed tightly as your nails dig into his skin, he felt big or maybe you were tight, who knows. But it felt good. You opened your eyes and stared at him, giving him a nod that it didn’t hurt and everything was okay.

He sighed softly in relief, feeling the grip from your hands around his body tighten for a moment as his body relaxed from his slight worries.

"You feel amazing," was all he could muster out as he slowly and gentle began to rock back and forth, starting to move inside of you as he leaned back onto his knees again for support. As he began to thrust into you, your moans and his grunts echoed through his room as the bed gently creaked from his rocking.

The sight of you under him and the noises of your moans were enough to have his mind go blank from all of the thoughts.

His body was shaking as his heart thumped loudly in his chest. He felt the warmth of you around him and he couldn't think straight. He started to move in and out of you slowly, his grunts growing louder as time felt like it had stopped for the two of you.

His hands gripped the back of your thighs more firmly as his hands moved along your back again to have more of your body pressed up against his.

Your moans and his grunts were lost in his room as he began to move. The bed began to creak at his movements, slowly and gently slamming against the back wall. Your hands were gripping and scratching his back out of pleasure, it was a type of fulfillment that made you drunk on him. That made you addicted to everything about him. And you wanted to be selfish and keep him to yourself.

“Leon,” you moaned softly against his ear.

His breathing steadily got quicker as he leaned in closer to you. Your moans only fed the fire inside of him and made him move faster and harder. His lips were brushing and nibbling on your neck while he continued.

His back was arching as your nails dug deeper upon his skin. His breathing was quickening and he groan out your name, "Y/n..."

You were close to your second climax of the day, you felt like puddy or mush in his hands. His touch melted you into whatever he wanted- you wouldn’t even complain.

Your back arched and you pressed my breasts against his chest, “Leon,” you breathed out. Your moans began to get more airy and short.

He leaned down back to kiss you while he rocked faster and harder into you. He could feel the warmth of the room fill up with pure steam as sweat covered both of you. The kiss sloppy and wet, not even a real kiss since the two of you were moaning and grunting out of pleasure.

His grip tightened on you as he moaned your name again, his hands now grabbing onto yours and squeezing them tightly as his hips moved back and forth. His interlocked his hand with yours as he thrusted into you, his cock filling you. A sensation that drove you insane in the best way.

"Almost there," he whispered, his breathing growing heavy around you.

“Me too,” you whispered back as you closed your eyes and let him look down at your face. Your jaw slightly open as you moaned and whimpered.

He couldn’t help but stare at your face, he thought you looked beautiful like this. His eyes scanned every little detail about your face and body, wanting to remember this forever. If he could, he’d definitely have this moment hanged up on the wall of his apartment. A memory so important to him that he’d have no shame in showing you off. But he wouldn’t do that. You were his and he didn’t want anyone else but him to look at you like this.

Your walls were beginning to clump down on his cock. You were close to cumming for the second time today, which surprised you because you’ve never done this before.

Soon, you did climax on him while he kept going. Your body convulsed and fell limp under him as he chased his own high. Your eyes were half-lidded as you were overrun with that satisfied and happy feeling that came with the post-orgasm jitters.

He sighed deeply as he felt you throb around his cock. Your body shook and your head rolled back as the climax overwhelmed your body and flooded it with endorphins.

He groaned softly as he finally reached his climax, moaning out your name in such a heated tone. He was glad he was wearing a condom, but god did the thought of breeding ran through his head at least once.

He let loose with a loud groan as he came inside you, with the condom still on. His cock began to pulse inside of you as a surge of pleasure flooded his body with everything it ever needed.

He laid down on top of you, panting heavily as his sweat soaked body pressed up against you. His hands went back to their usual spot and laid against your hips as he breathed in sharply, his heart beat quickening even more.

"Oh God," he moaned, his eyes slowly closing in relief. He wanted to be inside you forever. You just felt so good. Too good, he’d say but he didn’t care. He wanted you. So. Much.

Your hands lazily drew circles on his back as you closed your eyes as well and let him fall on top of you. Letting out a deep sigh out of pleasure and relief, you couldn’t help but feel your heart also tug its strings.

“Thank you,” you whispered quietly. If you were asked who would’ve you wanted to have sex with, you’d only say Leon. He knows how to make you happy, he knows how to cheer you and make you feel this good. He knows you. Probably than you know yourself too.

He groaned softly as he heard those words, leaning a little back at you from his position. He leaned down to kiss you softly and gently, breathing in the scent of your hair as he looked into your eyes, his hair falling in front of his eyes, covering half of his face.

"You're welcome," he whispered back, his voice low, calm and soft as he laid back down on you with his face buried into your neck. He pulled you closer and wrapped his arms around your waist.

One thing he couldn't deny in this moment was how perfect this girl was to him. There was something about you that just made him feel complete, something that made everything in life just make sense.

"I love you," he whispered, his eyes still being closed.

“I love you too,” you whispered and closed your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him too. Basking yourself under his weight and warmth- albeit the sweat sticking you two together.

Your breathing slowed down from panting. You felt exhausted but it was worth it. You both needed a shower but you were too lazy right now- you both were too lazy to even move an inch.

This moment was one that he would keep dear to himself for all time. The feel of your skin, the smell of you and the warmth of your body all made him feel home. His fingers were running through your hair, and his breathing was becoming more normal again in that moment.

"We probably need to shower soon," he muttered as he kissed your neck one last time.

“Two more minutes,” you whispered as you held on to him tighter.

He sighed softly into your neck as he lay his forehead against yours. His eyes still closed as he chuckled at your request.

"Fine, two minutes before we get up," he whispered as his breath was still soft against your skin.

You sighed contently and relaxed under him. There were many things to do; get rid of the used condom, take a shower, and do aftercare. But for now, all you needed was to be with him. To feel loved.

And so you did, spending those two extra minutes together. Your bodies were still tightly intertwined, his head pressing against your neck as he gave you little kisses every now and then.

But eventually, his eyes opened and you could hear him sigh again as he shifted his body to be on his side rather than on top of you.

“So… ready for that shower?” You turned your head to the side and as he moved next to you instead of being on top of you.

"Yeah, I think it's about time we finally do so," he sighed as he rolled off of the bed. He stretched his arms upwards and you could hear his back crack at the stretch.

"I’m sticky with sweat all over," he chuckled, grabbing the blanket and placing it over your body before standing up and walking to the bathroom.

You giggled, “Don’t forget the condom,” you teased as he was still wearing the now used condom. You pulled the blanket aside and walked over to him to the bathroom.

He stopped once he heard your teasing, his body freezing from his pace as he looked down between his legs. He groaned as his face turned scarlet from embarrassment, he slowly turned around as all of his cocky confidence disappeared in a single second.

He let loose a laugh and took it off before flicking it into the bin.

He looked back at you and smirked weakly, "I'm going to pretend that never happened."

You chuckled and walked into the bathroom first, “It’s okay, don’t get embarrassed. It happens to hot people,” you grinned as you pulled him to the bathroom by the hands.

"Yeah, whatever," was all he could mumble as he stepped into the bathroom, his arm moving to the sink to turn on the faucet. Although, his smirk and slight snort didn’t go unnoticed by you. It made you happy that you could still tease and have fun with him during these moments.

"I'd say something back but you're pretty hot yourself so I'm not going to talk," he grumbled.

He looked over the shower at you with a raised eyebrow. Leon leaned back against the sink for support and folded his arms over his chest, a small smirk appearing on his face as he was beginning to calm down from his embarrassment.

"Cold," he answered back, without hesitation.

Scrunching up your face, you shook your head disapprovingly, “Cold? Seriously? What, do you live in the North Pole or something?” You joked as you turned the temperature adjustment to cold like he said.

A single chuckle left his mouth as he glared at you, "Shut up," he frowned with a slight giggle, "Don't tell me you're one of those people that likes burning hot water during a shower?"

“Actually yes, I love hot and steamy showers that burn my skin,” you mumbled as you joined him on the cold shower. You wrapped your arms around your body as you shivered, “Holy shit, dude. This is freezing,” you muttered through chittering teeth.

He put his hand around your waist once again and pulled you closer to his body, his chest pressing against your back as he pulled you into his embrace. His body growing warmer than yours as his hand began to rub your stomach. His body heat slowly transferred over to yours.

He sighed quietly and turned the knob up, changing the temperature to a warm feeling, although still not hot. You could feel his hands still wrap around you as his one hand went down underneath your chin and pulled your head back so you'd look at him.

He cupped your face with his hand and brushed your hair back out of your face, "There, is that better?" he asked you as he smirked and looked at you.

“Actually it is,” you huffed and turned back to begin cleaning your body.

He smirked and began to clean himself as well. His eyes gazing at you as the hot water ran down his body. His eyes traveled around every inch of your body as he took a look at you, he couldn't help but feel like he was staring at an image of beauty as you began to bathe yourself.

He couldn’t help it, he wrapped his arms wrapped around your waist from the side as they pulled you back into his form. He couldn’t help it, he loved this sight a little too much. It was so innocent and yet so attractive to him. You could be doing the simplest thing and he’d love it.

He continued to watch you soap yourself up, his face having a hint of a dreamy look in his eyes. His gaze traced your entire body, taking in your curves and how beautiful you were to him as he breathed in deeply.

"You have a beautiful body, you know that," he whispered.

You chuckled and kept lathering yourself in soap, “You think so?” You whispered.

He smirked and nodded his head as he continued to trace you with his eyes, his gaze admiring every single part of your body.

"More than beautiful," he sighed as his eyes continued to wander across your form. He couldn't help but wonder how he had gotten this lucky to have someone as perfect as you in his life.

"The prettiest face I've ever seen too. You're like a goddess to me," he moaned. He put his head against the side of your neck and kissed it softly as his hands moved up and down your body.

"Every inch of you is perfect," he murmured, "I'd say you're even better than a dream."

One could tell he was so madly in love. He never felt love like this, not this strong. And he wanted more. You broke him in the best way possible.

This version of Leon became a version that he hid away and promised himself to never bring back. Yet, in all the time that he’s been your bodyguard, you’ve managed to make him break that promise. His feelings took hold of him, probably for the first time in a while. But this time, he decided not to fight it.

This time, he decided to stay true to himself and let himself be loved and love the one girl who dared enough to love his broken self.

And he couldn’t ask for anything better.

[finelinefae]

soft

synopsis: girls with cute tummies and soft thighs and extra chub in different places can also date hot popstar boys okay? okay.

word count: 2.1 k

contains: plus size reader, non au harry, fluff, mentions of body image and insecurities, harry being obsessed with his girlfriend

A/N: the start of a new thing called 'soft girl sundays' which I'm starting !! i wrote this for wp a few months ago but it's one of my fave things I've written so I'm re-posting it here. it's cheesy and fun and harry's obsessed with his girl !! i know for a lot of us girlies sometimes it feels like we take up too much space and we're always made to feel smaller mentally, physically, in every way really but you have much of a right to be here as everyone else so take up alllll the space u need !! women are beautiful and majestic no matter their size 💘

. . .

My girls' in the audience tonight.

I look past the curtain across the stage and see her in the VIP section.

Even without the stage lights shining on her, she's glowing.

She's wearing a shirt with my initials stitched over her heart and every time she lifts her arms, I see her soft tummy and the dimples on her back when she spins. Her thick thighs are on show as she wears the smallest pink skirt known to man. Her hair falls past her shoulder and down her back and her cute cheeks turn pink as she smiles when she speaks to some of the team who stand with her. 

She's the living embodiment of the divine feminine and I can't ever seem to get over the fact that she's all mine. 

The music begins to play and I watch as her face lights up with excitement. She's seen this show over a few dozen times but she never fails to be just as excited as the first time she saw me walk on stage with a hickey on my neck that she'd put there moments before.

When it's my queue, I skip onto the stage and my ears nearly burst as the sound of people screaming over the music starts to fill the stadium. She's smiling, she's cheering, she's singing the words to every single song. She's so pretty and she's all I see.

When the show ends, I walk backstage to my dressing room. Normally I'd run into a car and get the Hell out of there before crowds of people start to fill up the streets to get home, but this time, Y/N was here and I knew how much anxiety she felt whenever we had to rush to be somewhere.

I walked in and accepted the compliments from my team after another successful show. Paris was a city I held close to me so it was always a fun time when we played.

I gulped down a glass of water and felt arms snake around my waist. I immediately grinned when I saw the lilac-painted nails that matched my very own. I feel her nuzzle her face into my back before I twist in her embrace and look into the eyes of the girl I love with everything in me.

"Hi baby," I whisper, stroking her cheek that still had glitter on it.

"Hi Harry," Y/N murmurs, her eyes tired but full of happiness.

"Y' okay?" I hold her, feeling her soft skin beneath my hand. She was so soft and cuddly.

"I'm okay." She smiles, lazily. "You did so good up there. I nearly cried,"

I laugh, "You always nearly cry."

"That's because I'm proud of you." She shrugs.

We sit on the couch and she straddles my lap, her skirt riding up and I nearly choke when I catch a glimpse of her lacy underwear. I put my hands on her thighs and squeeze them softly. "You excited for our trip tomorrow?" I asked, staring at her lips and suddenly feeling the temptation to kiss them. I did and she happily accepted.

We had a few days before the next show so we decided to head down to the South of France and spend a few days in Nice. We haven't been on a trip together in a while other than the tour locations so we made the most of the little time we had in between shows to spend as much time as we could together.

She nods, "I bought a new swimsuit just for the occasion."

I groan, my head falling back against the couch, "You kill me."

She giggles, "love you."

I immediately smile. "I love you too," I kiss her.

The morning after the show, we woke up early to make our flight down to Nice. Y/N whines the entire time because she's not a morning person and refuses to step one foot out of bed until I force her.

She sleeps on my chest the entire journey there, wearing an oversized hoodie with the hood up. "My whole heart is inside y'." I murmur as her cheek presses against my chest and makes her lips all pouty, light snores falling from them. I lightly push some of her baby hairs back from her face and trace my thumb over the soft skin of her cheek.

We arrive and head straight to our room at the hotel to drop our bags off before heading to the beach. Y/N immediately opens the doors to the balcony and gasps when she looks out at the view. "Harry, it's beautiful," Y/N says in awe.

I come up behind her and wrap my arms around her tummy, squeezing the softest part of her. I loved all the parts of her but her tummy was my absolute favourite. She always complained about it. How it stuck out when she wore tight clothing and even more so after eating. 'Harry I already have a tummy? Why punish me further by making it bigger after I eat? Seems unfair don't you think?'  I'd spend the whole journey home telling her how beautiful she looked and how I loved watching her enjoy the food she loves and then I'd hold her in bed and run circles on her little, bloated belly because I had made it my life's mission to show as much love to the little chub of a tummy she had.

I pull on my swim shorts and a white linen shirt, leaving the buttons undone. I pack my beach bag for our beach towels and my book as well as my film camera and sun lotion.

Y/N walks out of the bathroom. Her hair in loose curls from the heat and her face already sunkissed and pretty. My mouth falls open when I take in the small, blue bikini on her body, revealing her soft curves and every perfect inch of her.

"Do you like it?" She blushes, acting like she's not the hottest girl I've ever seen in my entire life.

It tied at her waist and around her neck, my immediate thought being how easy it would be to take it off her and spend the entire day in bed, making out or whatever. I honestly couldn't care less as long as she's there.

"Baby," I dropped the bag on the floor and made my way towards her, pinching her chin between my thumb and forefinger and tilting her head back so I could kiss her at the perfect angle.

She whines and the sound nearly has me dropping to my knees. "You're fucking unbelievable."

"You really think so?" She bites back a smile, "You don't think I need to hide my stretch marks?" My heart aches at how unsure she sounded, the fact she even had to ask made me want to pick her up and kiss each stretch mark on her body.

"No, my love," I shake my head, kissing the stretch marks at the top of her left breast and feeling her heart racing at the delicate touch. "You have absolutely nothing to hide from anybody. Y' beautiful and you're mine,"

She smiles and kisses me again.

We head down to the beach to the reserved sunbeds. Y/N lays out her towel and sits down to apply sun cream to her arms and legs. I help her do her back, massaging her shoulders and trying not to combust as she rolls her head to the side and moans at the feeling.

I literally have a crush on this woman.

And she's my fucking girlfriend.

What did I do to get this lucky in life?

"Let's go in the water baby," I held her hand and we walked to the water, stepping in together.

She wraps her arms and legs around me when we're deep enough in the water. I squeeze her ass and she gasps, swatting me gently. "What?" I look at her innocently.

"There's people watching." She hides her face in my neck and I turn us both around to catch sight of the paparazzi hiding behind the trees and snapping pictures of us.

I release a sigh and pull her face back to get a better look at her. If there was one thing that could make my girlfriend second guess herself, it was the paparazzi constantly posting her pictures online and allowing people to berate her for how she looked.

"Please don't let them ruin your day my love," I kiss her shoulder, still holding her in my arms. "I promise, you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

"You promise?" She pouts.

"Feel this," I reach for her hand and guide her to the small bit of chub on my hip.

She gasps, "You have chub too!"

I rolled my eyes but smiled at the same time, her excitement was adorable. "Everyone's got something they're insecure about. No matter how hard I've tried I can't seem to get rid of it, maybe it's from all the cakes you've been making but how am I meant to say no to such a pretty face?"

She squeals in delight when I pinch her sides and giggles as I press kisses to her face. "Wanna go and sunbathe for a little, baby?" She nods and we both walk out of the water so she can sit in the sun for a bit.

I spend more time in the water and come out to find Y/N verging on the brink of sleep. I smirk as I crawl between her legs and lay between her thighs, sighing softly as I turn my head away from the sun and press a kiss to her inner thigh. She reaches down and runs her fingers through my wet hair, her nails scratching my scalp.

After midday, I order food to be sent up to our room. Y/N's passed out on the sunbed so I gently shake her awake, "Hi baby," Her pretty eyes flutter open, "Need you to drink something darling, you've been in the sun for a while." She slowly sits up and rubs her eyes with the back of her hand. I unscrew the cap of the water bottle and pass it to her, watching as she almost drinks the whole thing.

"I got us room service to be delivered. Want to head back upstairs for a bit?" Her cheeks were red and her hair was all frizzy due to the humidity. She nodded and we packed our things up and made our way back to our hotel room.

Our food was already laid out on the balcony by the time we walked into the room. I had left the air conditioning on so the room was nice and cool since Y/N struggled to sleep when it was too hot and stuffy.

She was wearing my linen shirt over her bikini and I couldn't help but stare at her ass as I followed her to the table outside.

There was fruit, bread and pastries laid out on a spread at the table as well as a glass of red wine and some orange juice. Y/N sat on one of the chairs with one leg hitched up as she ate some of her baguette and cheese, her favourite snack to eat when we were in France.

"Are you having fun, my love?" I asked, taking a bite of fresh watermelon.

She nods quickly, "It's the best. Anytime with you is always the best,"

"Come sit here," I motion and move my chair out, patting my thigh. She doesn't hesitate and stands up to sit down on my lap.

I kissed the back of her neck and put one hand on her hip, my thumb traced the edge of the waistband of her bikini bottoms, slipping under the material to trail soft circles over her hip bones.

"I'm keeping you forever, I hope you know that," I murmur, appreciating this intimate moment between us which didn't happen as often as I liked them to but we made do.

"I hope so," She whispers.

I loved this girl for all she was. There is nothing in this world that could change just how much I adored her.

"Harry," She says my name, "This bikini is pretty easy to take off you know."

I choke, eyes widening and seeing the smirk on her face. I pick her up, her legs wrapping around me and her ankles locking behind my back. "Is that a challenge or a request?" I kiss her lips, tasting the saltiness of the sea on them.

"Both," She says in between kisses.

This girl. 

[saturnitiez]

Will You Remember?

inspired by the song: Will You Remember? by The Cranberries

Childhood memories, mentions of reader being female and in a dress, childhood crushes but they’re stupidly oblivious.

TW: MENTIONS OF KINICH’S CHILDHOOD (i.e. alcohol abuse, child abuse, child abandonment & death)

Im writing this at like 02:00 so please spare me ☹️ I also don’t know where the hell this even goes i was kinda just writing to write so uhm..!

<3 Seeing you, again. For the first time in what he can only assume must have been years. Of course he still remembers you. But why..?

First Meeting

The two of you had first met as children. Kinich had a regrettably bad childhood.

The constant beatings, berating, arguing, was something he had grown all too accustomed to.

Still, he was only human. A child at that. There were times where after his mother had left, and his father was gone, that he’d go out into the forest to gain a sense of self.

The forest acting as a fortress for him, solitude from the outside world.

When he saw the glimpse of someone in his fortress, he was immediately on the ready, hyper aware.

Hiding and peeking around trees, only to see a sniffling girl adorned in a dress. Her hair had looked rather messy, and there were small scrapes littered around her knees and elbows.

She had obviously looked as if she had fell, probably got lost too.

After finding that the person who had invaded his space was indeed no threat, he approached her. Although, not having much ‘people skills,’ he came off rather harsh.

“Who are you.”

This only made the young girl distress even farther, a sigh escaping him.

How was he supposed to even approach this?? Was everyone this much of a crybaby?

Young Kinich, trying his hardest to soften the tone of his voice and seem more approachable, copying the demeanor of his mother whenever she used care for him.

“..Are you okay..??”

That definitely seemed to go better, in his opinion, as the girl didn’t immediately start sobbing more, but rather managed to choke out the words..

“I want to go home.”

..Great. That gave him so much information.

He, and all his little child wisdom, replied:

“Oh. Where?”

Kinich had just asked a simple question, but to you, it was so complicated.

You didn’t know where you were, who this strange boy was?

All you knew was that: you were hurting, you wanted to go home because you missed your parents.

Seeing that his question didn’t get him very far, he wordlessly left to go back to his house, planning on grabbing bandaids for you.

He came back, half surprised to see you in the same spot you were; not even moved an inch. This time however, you weren’t crying as much, all that were heard were now small sniffles as you rubbed your eyes.

He wrapped his hand over yours and drags you over to a tree nearby that you could sit under.

Once he has you sat down he pulls out the small bandaids from his pocket and fumbles to open them, putting them on the small cuts you had.

Little you had no idea what to think. First this boy seemed harsh, or rather intimidating? but now here he was knelt on the ground next to you patching you up.

As he did so, all you could do was look at him.

“Will you remember me?” You asked rather abruptly.

It caught him very off guard, it was a rather random question. He gave no reply.

Once he had finished he once again, wordlessly walked away, but this time farther into the forest. He stopped at a couple steps before looking back at you.

You perked up at the fact that he stopped this time. Taking advantage of the boy who provided help was still within eye shot, you chased after him.

He’d continue to walk, but whenever you’d fall a little too far behind, he’d stop, and wait. Then he’d continue on again.

Eventually this had led you back to the entrance of the village you lived in. You started to sprint towards it, thinking that you had made it back by pure luck.

Second Meeting

The second time you had met as kids, was when Kinich had to go to the market. His father was now dead, and he now had to find his way around life, as if he wasn’t beforehand.

His father’s absence of gambling had definitely made it easier to manage mora.

But just because he now had mora, he was still bargaining ever stall he could.

“Now i’m sure that we could get a fair price on this..”

Kinich suggested to the stall owner, but just then out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a familiar figure..

He could t quite place from where though.. Her hair was the first thing he had noticed.

‘it’s styled nicely’ he thought.

As you turned and he was able to see your face, he then remembered where you had looked so familiar from.

You were that girl he had helped a couple years back… but why does he remember you so specifically.?

You held flowers in your hands that day, a bouquet of peonies.

You walked up to the stall he was at to briefly talk with the owner, who was more than glad to help you rather than Kinich.

He would often steal small glances in your way as you stood next to him reciting your order to the owner, who obliged.

As the owner grabbed the requested items you had caught one of his looks he thought was sly, and waved to him.

He managed a small wave back, but that was about it. He didn’t know how he was supposed to interact with you. It’s not like he knew you all well.

But something about your bright smile made his stomach feel weird. He wasn’t too sure what it was, but it was very unpleasant.

As you took your things from the owner and payed you spared him another wave.

“Goodbye.!”

From then on,

he would always see you around the area, whether you be completing commissions for the adventurers guild, grabbing supplies, or simply wandering around.

It seemed as if you were now everywhere.

Everywhere he’d look, you were there.

He tried not to dwell on it, but his eyes would always linger on you. He told himself it’s because he wanted to “keep the people safe.”

At some point he’d sub-consciously look for you, brushing it off once again as ‘keeping people safe.’ He was oblivious to the meaning of the feeling he’d get in his stomach anytime you’d smile or wave at him.

‘Is this what people meant by butterflies in your stomach?’ He pondered.

At one point or another, you both had run into one another while doing a commission.

He had been looking for a missing Saurian. Presumably the one you were currently knelt down by that was injured.

“Oh! Kinich! That’s your name.. right?” You asked nervously, you had heard of him from other villagers, it also helps that you’ve seen him around a lot.

“Yes. That’s me.” He replied with his usual monotone voice. It made it hard for you to get a read on what he wanted.

“Is there something that brings you over here..?” You questioned as you grab bandage wrap from your satchel.

You wanted to hurry and attend to the Saurian’s wounds before they got infected.

“I’m looking for a missing Saurian. I believe that is the one i’m looking for.” He nods his head at the Saurian you had currently been taking care of.

“Well, unless you’re looking for a Mrs. June’s missing Saurian, then you have the wrong one.”

“…that’s exactly who i’m looking for.”

There was a short moment of silence.

“…you’ve got to be joking.” You deadpanned.

Turns out the woman recruited more than one person for the commission..

You sigh as you pick the baby Saurian up, stand up and walk over to Kinich.

“Hold your arms out.”

He hesitates, before slowly holding his arms out.

As he does you hand him the baby Saurian.

“Get the poor thing back to Mrs. Jones, she’s probably worried sick.” You softly smiled at the baby.

“You should come with so you can collect part of the pay.” Kinich inquired, seeing as you had done part of the work, it was only fair you had also gained some reward for it.

You waved your hand as you walked opposite direction of the village.

“Take my part of the payment as an exchange for when you helped me back then, or something..”

Ah. You still do remember that. He wasn’t the only one. He remembers that event pretty well too.

You pause for a bit, not turning around to face him.

“..Do you remember that..?”

Of course he does.

He remembers your messed up hair.

He remembers your beautiful, but dirtied, and tattered dress.

He remembers how scared you looked.

“I do.”

Just as you.

You had remembered his beautiful eyes.

You had remembered his blunt, but comforting words.

You had remember how he had patched you up.

“I always remembered you.”

[kayewrite]

blue sticky note (part 2)

OT8 x reader!! stray kids x reader!! word count: 5.9k

stray kids fic wherein, you know the answer of the mystery of the blue sticky note in your binder, but then keep denying it.

AN: i literally love this guys. please tell me your thoughts also im crying.

(part 1 here!!)

Does Bang Chan like you?

Why did he create a song for you?

Your mind raced as you held the blue sticky note, staring at the familiar handwriting that had been haunting your thoughts for days. You replayed the moment when you confronted him, hoping for a straightforward answer.

“Are you the one who put this in my binder?” you had carefully asked, showing him the sticky note that had left you sleepless for nights.

Bang Chan didn’t answer right away. His eyes softened as he looked at you, and for a brief moment, you thought you saw something deeper in his gaze. But instead of responding to your question, he gave you a gentle smile, one that made your heart skip a beat.

“Did you know we all made this song?” he said, his voice calm, almost as if he was leading you from the truth you were seeking. “We all helped to do this.”

His words left you more confused than before. What did that even mean? Was it some kind of cryptic message?

“You know what,” he suddenly said, his tone shifting to something more casual, “you should really attend Changbin’s party this weekend. I’ll be the one to pick you up.”

And just like that, he left the studio without waiting for your reply, leaving you standing there with a thousand questions swirling in your mind. The mystery you thought you were close to solving only seemed to deepen, the answers slipping further from your grasp.

You tried to focus on your upcoming presentation in class, but Bang Chan's words and that blue sticky note kept intruding on your thoughts. Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, you wondered why this was all becoming so hard to figure out.

Suddenly, a knock on your door snapped you out of your thoughts. You opened it to find Felix standing there, a soft smile on his face as he greeted you.

“Hi,” he said, holding his favorite yellow plushie—a chicken. “I’m back again.”

You let him in, and without a word, he walked in and instead of heading to the sofa like usual, he went straight to your bedroom and flopped down on your bed..

You followed him, sitting at the edge of the bed as you pulled the blanket over him. You felt a pang of sympathy for your friend. He always seemed so worn out whenever you saw him in the mornings at school, his eyes heavy with exhaustion. You knew it must be because of his noisy neighbor.

“I think my neighbor is angry with me,” Felix mumbled, his face half-buried in the pillow.

“Why?” you asked, your voice gentle.

“He only makes noise whenever I’m about to sleep.”

“Maybe we should complain to the landlord,” you suggested, but you knew Felix. He was too kind-hearted to make a fuss about it. He’d rather suffer in silence than cause trouble for someone else.

"I’ve decided I should move out here," he said quietly.

"Really? Finally," you replied, a bit of relief in your voice. You’d wanted someone to share your apartment with for so long. Living alone had become so lonely.

"But I’ll be moving next door," he added.

Oh. That was fine too.

You couldn’t help but smile as you lay down beside him, both of you staring up at the ceiling. The silence was comfortable, but your thoughts were still tangled up in the mystery of the blue note.

“I think I should talk to someone about this,” you finally said, breaking the silence. The questions were too much for you to keep inside anymore.

“Talk about what?” Felix asked, his voice calm but curious.

“The blue note…” you began, turning your head to look at him. “Do you know who owns it?”

Felix took a deep breath, clearly expecting this conversation. He didn’t answer right away, instead asking, “May I ask you a question? Who do you think owns it?”

“I don’t want to assume anything,” you admitted, “You guys are giving me a hard time. I don’t want to jump to conclusions.”

Felix’s gaze softened as he looked at you, his expression unreadable. “What would you do if you found out who owned it? Would it change things between you and us?”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “I see all of you as my brothers. But if it really was one of you… then…” You trailed off, not knowing how to finish the thought.

“What if it was all of us?” Felix’s voice was quiet, almost hesitant.

“What—” Before you could react, Felix leaned in and pecked your lips, the suddenness of it leaving you frozen.

“Do you know how hard it is?” he whispered, his eyes locked on yours. “Loving you means risking our whole friendship. But as long as I could hold it in, I thought I should. But right now, I can’t.”

His confession hung in the air between you, heavy and filled with emotion. He searched your eyes for a reaction, his heart clearly on the line.

“Please,” he continued, his voice breaking slightly, “when tomorrow comes, forget what I did. And I hope… you’ll forgive me.”

And then, before you could process everything, he claimed your lips again, this time with more urgency, as if trying to convey everything he couldn’t put into words.

The next morning, you walked to class feeling like you were floating. Felix was already gone when you woke up, leaving behind only a note saying he had to go.

The memory of last night's kiss made your cheeks flush as you touched your lips, but you quickly shook the thought away.

Why does this feel so wrong?

You've been friends with these guys since middle school, and now, everything felt like it was spiraling out of control.

You slumped into your seat next to Yuji, dropping your head onto your table.

“Girl, you look stressed,” she said, combing her fingers through your hair.

“I know. I think I should just die.”

“No, not yet! We still have that concert to go to, remember? Physics might make you want to drop dead, but focus on the bright side—concert!” Yuji playfully shook your shoulders.

“What concert? Why didn’t you invite me?” Seungmin’s voice interrupted as he approached, handing out papers.

"Oh! it's seungmin." Yuji immediately straightened up, trying to play it cool. “I have two tickets. One for me, and one for her.” She pointed at you with an exaggerated modesty. “But she can always buy new her own, so I’ll give you hers.” She smiled sweetly at Seungmin like a puppy.

Seungmin didn’t even look up as he continued distributing papers. “Never mind. I’ve got plans with her, anyway.”

You blinked, confused. Plans? He hadn’t mentioned anything to you.

“What plans?” you asked, tilting your head in curiosity.

“It’s a surprise.” He finally looked up, flashing a small, knowing smile before moving on to the next student.

Yuji’s eyes widened in surprise. “Wait, is there something going on between you two?” she asked, crossing her arms and pouting. “You betrayed me?! I thought you were on Team Seungmin and Yuji!”

You barely registered her words, your mind suddenly flashing back to what Felix said last night.

“What if it was all of us?”

Was there a chance that Seungmin… liked you? Or were they all just playing with your feelings?

The stress of it all made you tug at your hair in frustration. But then you remembered Felix’s kiss, making you feel even more confused.

After class, you were about to leave when Seungmin called out to you.

“Hey,” he said, jogging over. “Let me treat you to the cafeteria.”

Normally, you’d jump at the chance for free food—who wouldn’t? This was just how you and Seungmin usually were. But after everything that happened, you found yourself questioning his intentions.

Still, you plastered on a smile and nodded. “Sure.”

As you both sat down, Seungmin played with his spoon, eyeing his food. “Do you think short hair would suit me?” He ran a hand through his hair, “I’m thinking about getting a haircut.”

You looked at him, trying to picture it. “Honestly? I think everything suits you.”

“Oh really?” He laughed, raising an eyebrow. “Well, if it turns out ugly, I’m blaming you.”

“It won’t,” you assured him. “Promise. Trust me, just imagining it, I think it’ll look great on you. And why would you blame me? I’m not the one asking you to cut it; I already think it’s perfect.”

You forced yourself not to think about what Felix said, focusing on keeping the conversation light and normal, just like always.

“Hey, why are you two eating alone without me?” Changbin suddenly appeared, sliding his tray onto the table like some kind of cool bad boy—though you knew he was a softie at heart.

“Because according to Seungmin, you eat too much,” you teased, even though Seungmin hadn’t actually said that. Changbin shot Seungmin a playful glare, his expression saying, ‘How dare you?’

“Why? It’s true,” Seungmin teased back with a casual shrug.

“Well, it is,” Changbin admitted with a grin. “But do you really think you can get away without buying me food? I put it on your tab at the cashier.”

You laughed, enjoying their playful banter. This is what you wanted to keep, this easy friendship with them. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Hey, don’t laugh! You owe me, too!” Changbin suddenly turned his attention to you.

“What? I don’t remember owing you anything. If anything, you owe me,” you shot back, munching on your food.

“Well, you’re right about that.” He chuckled, then leaned in closer, his tone turning serious. “But you owe me a promise. You have to come to my party. And you too.” referring to Seungmin.

“Tell me why I should attend instead of going to my weekly seminar,” Seungmin challenged, always enjoying a good tease.

“There’ll be lots of food.”

“Valid, but not enough,” Seungmin replied, feigning disinterest.

“I’ll be there,” Changbin said. Seungmin just rolled his eyes before standing up.

“I’m done eating,” he said, grabbing his tray. Then he looked at you, “Finish your food and eat well. I’ll go ahead.”

“What happened to you?” Hyunjin asked, concern etched on his face as he glanced over at you.

You were lying on one of the beds in the school clinic, feeling utterly drained. “I think I’m coming down with a fever. Can you give me some medicine?”

Hyunjin’s eyes narrowed slightly, a familiar sigh escaping his lips. “Again? Don’t tell me you’re pulling that trick to avoid PE.”

It was Wednesday, and Hyunjin was on clinic duty again. It seemed like every time he was here, you somehow managed to find your way to the clinic as well.

“I just really dislike playing volleyball,” you complained, curling up under the blanket.

“You know it’s part of the curriculum,” Hyunjin said firmly, reaching out to help you sit up. “Now, get up and get moving.”

But you stayed put. “I’m serious this time. My head is pounding.” You pressed your fingers against your temples, trying to relieve the discomfort.

Hyunjin’s expression softened, though he still looked slightly exasperated. “Alright, alright. Just stay here.” He walked over to the medicine cabinet, opening it and rummaging through the various bottles.

You watched him, admiring how he looked in his white lab coat. He seemed so professional and competent, and it made you smile despite your discomfort.

After a moment, Hyunjin returned with a small bottle in hand. “Here, take this.”

You examined the label. “Gummy vitamins? Really?”

Hyunjin grinned. “Yep, gummy medicine. It’s actually quite effective.”

“But… isn’t this for kids?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re never too old for gummy vitamins,” Hyunjin said with a teasing smirk. He leaned closer and playfully tapped your forehead. “And besides, you’re basically a kid.”

“Ouch!” you said, rubbing your forehead as you accepted the bottle. You popped a gummy into your mouth, making a face as you chewed. The taste was oddly medicinal, and you struggled to hide your reaction.

Hyunjin chuckled, his laughter bright and genuine. “You look like you’re eating something terrible.”

“It’s not as good as the regular gummies,” you said, grimacing slightly. “But I guess it’ll do.”

Hyunjin shook his head, his smile softening. “You really need someone to take care of you. I swear, you can’t even handle a gummy without making a face.”

“I can take care of myself just fine,” you insisted, stretching your arms out as if to demonstrate your health. “Look, I’m perfectly okay.”

“Yeah, right,” Hyunjin said, sitting down on the chair next to you. “But even if you can take care of yourself, you don’t need to do it alone. I’m here for you, and I’ll always be here to look out for you.”

His words were meant to be comforting, and they were—though they took on a new weight as you recalled what Bang Chan and Felix had said. It suddenly seemed like there might be a deeper layer to Hyunjin’s concern.

You pushed those thoughts aside, forcing a smile. “I’m really glad to have you guys around. It means a lot.”

Hyunjin’s eyes softened as he returned your smile. “I’m glad to hear that. Now, try to get some rest. You need it.”

“Hey, Han,” you called out as you entered the library, spotting your friend among the sea of students hunched over their books. Probably finished of his schedule in the counter as a librarian assistant.

“Oh, hi!” Han looked up from his desk, his glasses perched on the edge of his nose. His eyes were bright with a mixture of surprise and curiosity. You often wondered how he managed to juggle work, study, and his other responsibilities so effortlessly.

“I finally finished that novel you recommended,” you said, making your way over to his table. “..And it was so boring.”

Han’s eyes widened in mock horror, his hands flying to his chest. “What? Don't do that to my most favorite book!"

You couldn’t help but laugh at his dramatic reaction. “Just kidding. It was actually really good.” You gave him a thumbs-up, your voice low but full of mirth, mindful of the quiet atmosphere in the library.

Han let out a relieved sigh and shook his head with a smile. “You almost had me there. What did you think of the ending?”

You shrugged, a hint of frustration in your tone. “I’m still confused. How can the main character like her but never pursue her? It just doesn’t make sense to me.”

Han’s face took on a look of mild exasperation as he leaned back in his chair. “Did you read it with your whole heart, or were you skimming through it?”

“Of course I read it!” you protested, feeling a bit defensive. “I just didn’t get it.”

Han’s expression softened into a more thoughtful one. “Well, sometimes love isn’t as straightforward as we want it to be. The character had reasons for not pursuing her, even though he wanted to.”

“What reasons?” you asked, genuinely intrigued. You leaned forward, eager for an explanation.

Han sighed, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice, can't believe he has to explain it to you. “It’s not always easy to explain. Sometimes, there are external factors, personal struggles, or circumstances beyond our control that affect our decisions.”

“Oh, I see,” you said slowly, trying to digest his explanation. “I still think the ending was a bit of a letdown, though.”

"Me too." Han chuckled, nodding in agreement. “Yeah, it’s definitely not the happiest of endings. But that’s what makes it memorable, I guess.”

“So, why is it your favorite if it’s so depressing?” you asked, genuinely curious.

Han hesitated, a thoughtful look on his face as he stared into the distance. “Because…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, leaving you hanging. You could guess what he might mean, understanding more than you let on. Sometimes it was easier to pretend you didn’t get it than to face the deeper implications of his words.

“Why would you need another cat when you already have three?” you asked, following Minho around the animal shelter. The space was filled with the soft meows and playful purrs of the cats, and you tried to keep up with his purposeful stride.

“Having one more won’t make me poor,” Minho replied, his gaze fixed intently on the cats. He seemed completely absorbed in the task of finding the perfect feline companion, his focus unwavering.

You chuckled softly, “Based on your face, you don’t look like someone who’s a father to a bunch of cats.” well he does look like a cat but you'll never tell him that, it might boost his overflowing confidence

“I don’t take opinions from anyone who’s trailing behind me,” Minho said with a smirk, still not turning to look at you.

“Oh, so you brought me here just to hear my complaints?” you sighed dramatically, trailing behind him. The endless walking was starting to wear you out, and you couldn’t help but think about the stack of assignments waiting for you at home.

Suddenly, Minho stopped in front of a white cat who was sitting calmly, watching him with wide, curious eyes. Minho crouched down and began speaking to the cat in a soft, melodic tone that seemed to mimic the cat’s own meows.

“I think I already found it,” Minho said with a satisfied smile, glancing up at you.

Back at the shelter’s counter, Minho was busy with the paperwork, preparing for the adoption. You watched him efficiently handle the forms and place the cat into its carrier. As he completed the final details, he turned to you with a beaming expression.

“Let’s go,” he said cheerfully.

You both headed to his car. Once inside, you buckled up, only for Minho to place the cat carrier on your lap. You opened it gently, letting the cat come out and stretch. Its beautiful white fur was soft and silky under your touch.

“What should we name her?” you asked, stroking the cat’s fur as she nuzzled closer to you.

“I don’t know,” Minho said, adjusting his seatbelt. “Why don’t you name her?”

"why would I be the one to do that?" you protested,

“Then, I’ll just name her after you,” Minho teased, looking at you with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Oh no, don’t do that,” you laughed, shaking your head.

“Right? She seems to like it.” Minho chuckled as the cat responded positively to being called by your name. “She’s our daughter now.”

You felt a flutter of surprise at his words, but you tried to keep your emotions in check.

“Well, now you’re officially the baby of our friend group,” you said, hugging the cat gently. The little creature purred contentedly in your arms, and you couldn’t help but smile. “Welcome to the family.”

You were about to drift off to sleep when your phone buzzed with a FaceTime call from Jeongin. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you fixed your hair a bit and answered.

"Hey, what's up?" you greeted, trying to sound awake as you adjusted the phone to make sure you looked presentable.

"Hey!" Jeongin's cheerful voice came through, though his face was momentarily obscured as he set the phone down. The background of his room appeared on screen: a collection of action figures and band posters. He returned, holding his guitar. "Got a minute? I have a performance evaluation tomorrow, and I was hoping you could listen to my song and give me some feedback."

"Of course," you replied, leaning back against your headboard. "Why me though? You have plenty of musician friends who could help."

Jeongin laughed softly, adjusting the tune on his guitar. "Well, I think I’ll get the most honest comments from you. Han just tells me I sound like bread—whatever that means—and Changbin mostly just laughs at me."

You smiled at his playful tone. "Alright, hit me with it."

With a nod, Jeongin began to strum his guitar and sing. His voice filled the room with a soothing melody, performing Day6's "Afraid." His rendition was as captivating as always.

When he finished, you sighed in appreciation. "That was beautiful. Seriously, the song fits your voice perfectly."

“Really?” Jeongin’s face brightened with a hopeful smile.

You nodded enthusiastically, giving him a thumbs up. “Absolutely. You did an amazing job.”

Jeongin chuckled. “The truth is, that wasn’t the song I intended to perform,” he admitted with a playful grin. “but i hope you enjoy that song. It's for you.”

You laughed softly, feeling grateful for the unexpected late-night serenade. “I did. Thanks for sharing it with me.”

You enter Bang Chan’s studio, balancing a coffee cup in one hand. The studio is buzzing with activity, but Chan looks up with a smile as you walk in.

“Hey, thanks for the coffee!” Chan says, taking the cup from you with a grateful grin.

“No problem. I figured you’d need it. I’ve heard you’re practically living here these days,” you tease, slipping into the casual banter you’re used to with him.

“Yeah, it’s the price of fame,” Chan chuckles, pretending to adjust an imaginary tie. “I’m basically a coffee addict now.”

“You’ve always been one. Remember that time you tried to make your own coffee blend and nearly set off the fire alarm?”

Chan laughs, shaking his head. “Oh, don’t remind me. I’m still convinced it was a conspiracy by the coffee machine.”

You laugh along, feeling a comfortable ease in the familiar exchange. “So, are you busy today? Or can you spare a few minutes?”

“Earlier, I was buried in work, but now I’m taking a break. What’s up?” Chan asks, settling into his chair.

You nod, setting your coffee down on a nearby table. “I actually came to talk. And, well, I left my glasses here the other day.”

Chan raises an eyebrow playfully. “So it’s a dual-purpose visit: coffee delivery and a retrieval mission?”

“Exactly. I’m multitasking,” you reply with a wink.

“Impressive. I’d expect nothing less from you,” Chan says, leaning back in his chair. “But seriously, what’s on your mind?”

You take a deep breath, shifting your focus from the lightheartedness to a more serious tone. “You know, Chan, I’ve been thinking a lot lately. About everything that’s been happening with us.”

Chan’s expression shifts to a more serious one, sensing the change in tone. “Go on.”

“You know I’m always proud of you and everything you’ve achieved,” you begin, your voice softening. “And I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me. But lately, I’ve been worried. I don’t want to ruin the friendship we have.”

Chan looks at you with a mixture of concern and curiosity. “What do you mean?”

“I just hoped that everything you’ve said, and everything I thought, is wrong,” you continue. “I don’t want to ruin the friendship I have with you guys.”

Chan’s smile is gentle but sad. “You know, now that everyone likes you?”

You look down, fiddling with your coffee cup. “Well, I hope it’s because you all care for me as a friend and not something more.”

Chan’s eyes are filled with a warmth that both comforts and troubles you. “You’ve always been special to us. And we’re okay if you have to choose one of us. We promise it won’t ruin anything.”

“I don’t want to choose any of you,” you say, your voice trembling slightly. “You’re all special to me.”

It was Changbin's birthday, and you were carefully wrapping the gift you had bought for him—a watch. You knew it wasn’t as extravagant as the ones he usually wore, but it was thoughtful and sincere, a gesture from a poor uni student to a friend who seemed to have everything. Still, you hoped he would appreciate the sentiment.

A knock on your door startled you, pulling you from your thoughts. You were expecting Chan, who had offered to pick you up for the party, so you hurried to answer the door.

But it wasn’t Chan.

“Hey.” Felix stood there, a small, familiar smile on his lips. The sight of him made your heart skip a beat, especially after everything that had happened between you two in the past few days. You had promised yourself to forget about it, to push those feelings away, but seeing him now made it all come rushing back.

“Hello, gorgeous,” Felix greeted you, his voice as smooth as ever. He looked effortlessly handsome in his suit, his charm radiating as always.

“Thank you,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. You appreciated the compliment, but there was an undeniable awkwardness in the air, a tension that neither of you wanted to acknowledge. “You look great too.”

Felix chuckled softly, his eyes briefly meeting yours before he looked away. “I try,” he said, his tone light, but you could hear the underlying edge to it. He cleared his throat, trying to ease the tension. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, grabbing your bag. “Chan’s waiting downstairs.”

Together, you walked down to the first floor, where Chan’s car was parked outside. He rolled down the window as you approached, flashing you both a bright smile. “Finally! I was about to start the party without you guys,” he joked.

“Wouldn’t be much of a party without the birthday gift,” you teased back, holding up the wrapped box.

Chan laughed, unlocking the doors. “Get in, then. Can’t have you showing up without it.”

In the car, the three of you quickly fell into easy conversation, laughing about inside jokes and reminiscing about old memories.

“So, what did you get Changbin?” Felix asked, looking over at you with genuine curiosity.

“It’s just a watch,” you said, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “Nothing fancy.”

Felix shook his head. “It’s the thought that counts. He’ll love it.”

You smiled at his reassurance, but the heavy tension lingered, especially with Felix sitting so close to you. You could feel his presence, his warmth, but there was a wall between you—one neither of you seemed ready to address.

As the conversation continued, you found yourself getting lost in the sound of Chan’s voice, trying to push away the awkwardness. But no matter how much you tried to immerse yourself in the moment, you couldn’t shake the heaviness in the air.

Finally, you arrived at the party. The venue was stunning, elegant in every way. All your friends were already there, looking beautiful and sophisticated in their formal attire. As soon as you entered, they complimented you, making you feel like you belonged in that glamorous setting, even if you often doubted it yourself.

Yuji, who had also been invited, greeted you with a warm hug, her energy infectious. “You look amazing!” she gushed, her eyes wide with excitement as she took in the atmosphere. “This party is insane, right?”

“Yeah, it’s something else,” you agreed, smiling at her enthusiasm. “You look great too, by the way.”

She grinned, doing a little twirl. “Thanks! I can’t wait to see what happens tonight.”

The party began, and you found yourself seated at a table with your friends. Minho, who had always been obvious about his feelings for you, couldn’t take his eyes off you. He looked at you like you were the only person in the room, his gaze intense and unwavering.

“Are you okay?” Jeongin whispered in your ear.

You nodded, trying to act nonchalant. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Jeongin didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t push it. Instead, he casually wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. “Just let me know if you need anything,”

You smiled gratefully at him, though the tension between the table was palpable, and you could feel the weight of Minho’s gaze even more acutely.

Then there was Han, who had always been more subtle about his feelings. He had never made it obvious, but tonight, when the air began to cool, he quietly draped his coat over your shoulders, his fingers brushing against your skin as he did so.

“Thanks, Han,” you said, looking up at him with a soft smile.

“No problem,” he replied, his voice low and warm. “Can’t have you freezing out here.”

As the evening went on, the program began, and Seungmin took the stage to offer a song. His voice was beautiful, capturing everyone’s attention as he sang. But as he performed, your heart began to race. He kept looking at you, his eyes locking with yours in a way that made you feel both flustered and vulnerable.

Yuji, sitting nearby, was practically glowing with happiness. She leaned in close, whispering, “I think this song is for me!”

You forced a smile, unable to bring yourself to tell her otherwise. “Maybe,” you replied, but your heart knew better.

Hyunjin, ever perceptive, seemed to pick up on the tension in the air. He observed quietly, his sharp eyes darting between you and the others, before taking a long sip of his wine. “Quite the night, huh?” he murmured, more to himself than to anyone in particular.

Then, out of nowhere, Changbin appeared at your table. His face lit up when he saw you, and without hesitation, he pulled you into a tight hug. “I’m so happy you’re here!” he exclaimed, his voice filled with genuine joy.

You laughed softly, hugging him back. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Everyone at the table watched the interaction closely, some with smiles, others with unreadable expressions. But as you stood there, enveloped in Changbin’s embrace, a strange feeling crept into your chest.

And in that moment, you realized that perhaps it was better not to know. Ignorance, as they say, might be bliss.

As the night deepened, the more you wanted to go home. It wasn't that you didn’t enjoy spending time with your friends—quite the opposite—but with the tension growing thicker by the minute, you’d rather be curled up under your blanket, away from the chaos.

You were about to take another sip of your wine when a hand gently stopped you.

"You should stop drinking. You shouldn't get drunk," Han said, his voice soft but firm. He took your glass and, without hesitation, drank it himself.

The loud music continued to play in the background, filling the air with a vibrant energy that contrasted sharply with the underlying tension. Everyone else was getting more and more absorbed in their drinks, except you—Han never let you have another sip.

"Hey, do you want me to sing a song on stage?" a voice asked, leaning close to you to be heard over the music. You turned to find Jeongin grinning at you.

You laughed, feeling a bit lighter in his presence. "Why would you ask for my permission? You should go up there and do what you want. I'm just here to support you."

Jeongin nodded, his smile growing wider. "That's the reason I like you." He stood up from his chair, leaving you momentarily stunned by his words.

As the seat beside you became vacant, Seungmin slipped into it, his presence bringing a different kind of tension. He smiled at you, his eyes soft and warm as he said, "You look beautiful tonight." Then, almost as if he couldn't stop himself, he added with a slightly slurred voice, "You know, I realized I should have kept you to myself."

You went quiet, not sure how to respond. Seungmin had been the reason you met all of his friends, the one who had introduced you into this complicated circle. Now, his words hung in the air, heavy with unspoken feelings.

He rested his hand on the back of your chair, and you let out a nervous laugh, trying to shake off what he said by teasing him instead.

"Hey, Seungmin!" Felix called out, drawing everyone's attention. He smirked as he teased, "That song you sang earlier—it didn't sound like a birthday song at all. Are you sure you weren’t serenading Changbin?"

Seungmin, who was still looking at you, replied without missing a beat, "Well, it wasn't for him."

The tension at the table thickened, and you could feel everyone’s eyes on you. Hyunjin, who had been quiet until now, finally spoke up, his voice cutting through the charged atmosphere. “Changbin, you were the one who put the note, right?”

It was the question you were asking, but then you suddenly don't want to know the answer now.

Changbin, who had been busy entertaining guests earlier and was visibly tired, looked up with a blank expression. “Yeah, that was me,” he admitted, his voice flat.

Minho scoffed, taking a sip of his drink. “That was weak, Changbin,” he remarked, his tone dripping with disdain.

You could sense the unease building, the tension wrapping around you like a vice. Jeongin returned, plopping down in the seat Seungmin had vacated, his carefree demeanor a stark contrast to the heaviness in the air. “The band didn’t want to let me sing,” Jeongin said with a laugh, though even he seemed to feel the strain. “I think Changbin didn’t let me.”

“Well, it’s true. I put it in there,” Changbin confessed again, this time with more emphasis. He looked at you, his gaze heavy, and you realized how exhausted you were by this whole ordeal.

Chan, ever the mature one, noticed the growing tension and tried to intervene, but before he could speak, Felix’s voice rang out. “I kissed her.”

The words hung in the air, heavier than anything that had been said all night. The atmosphere at the table grew unbearably thick, and for a moment, you felt like you couldn’t breathe. Yuji had left earlier, and suddenly, you wished you had gone with her.

You stood up abruptly, your chair scraping against the floor. “I… I need to go to the bathroom,” you muttered, not waiting for a response as you made your way through the crowd, your steps unsteady.

In the quiet of the bathroom, you stared at your reflection in the mirror, your heart pounding in your chest. This couldn’t go on. You had to do something before everything fell apart, before you lost the friendships that meant so much to you.

Determined, you took a deep breath and opened the door, only to be pulled into a dark corner. Before you could react, Minho’s lips were on yours. The kiss was desperate, filled with emotions you didn’t want to face. You pushed him away, tears welling up in your eyes.

“Minho, stop!” you cried, your voice breaking. Minho stepped back, his expression one of shock and regret.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “I didn’t mean to…”

Without another word, you turned and hurried back to the table, grabbing your bag as everyone’s eyes followed your every move. “I’m going home,” you announced, your voice steadier than you felt. Chan offered to drive you, but you shook your head.

“No, it’s fine.” You left before anyone could argue, the night air cold against your skin as you flagged down a taxi.

As the car sped away, tears streamed down your face, each one heavy with the realization you had been avoiding all night. You knew why you were crying, why you wanted to run away. Because deep down..

you already knew who you wanted to choose. But the thought of hurting the others, of breaking the delicate balance between you all, was too much to bear.

-

an: who do you want to choose?

@hpnsfwaddict @stay-tiny-things @velvetmoonlght @tonkatesuramen @spearbinnie0327 @leezanetheofficial @furioussheepluminary 

[starkwlkr]

charles saying no for the ruby for the first time and breaking her little heart because she is such a daddy’s girl

hate is a strong word | charles leclerc

ruby being a daddy’s girl is so me fr ALSO this takes place before mathéo is born <3

Ruby loved being with Charles. They were best friends. She loved making breakfast with him, walking to school with him, especially telling her teacher how her papa was her best friend. She loved telling everyone that her papa was the best friend she ever had. But there comes a time when she thinks her papa hates her. That was the time Ruby had cried and told Charles three words that he never thought would coke out of Ruby’s mouth.

“I hate you!”

It was a sunny day in Monaco when Y/n had left Ruby with Charles so she could have a girl’s day with Carla. Charles was busy playing the piano. He had recently been producing a song of him playing the piano. It wasn’t completely finished, but he was determined to finish it and share it with the world.

From her playroom, Ruby heard her papa play a few notes and instantly dropped her Barbie’s and ran to the living room where she saw Charles playing. She knew the basics since apart from her piano lessons she had been taking, Charles was also teaching her.

“Can I play?” Ruby asked her father, who was too concentrated on finishing his song.

“Ruby, you can’t. I have to finish this, it’s very important.” Charles told his daughter. He continued pressing the keys that he thought would fit well so he failed to notice that Ruby was getting slightly angry. All she wanted was to play piano with her papa.

Ruby saw how Charles was distracted and with her little hand, she pressed on several keys trying to make her own tune.

“Ruby, stop. You can’t play piano right now.” Charles turned to look at her. The little girl stared at her father with then raised a finger to press a key, but Charles stopped her. “No.” He simply said.

She then felt tears coming out her eyes. She didn’t like her father at the moment. She would rather be anywhere. “I hate you.” Ruby began to cry and ran off to her playroom. She slammed the door shut and crawled into her princess castle play tent. Inside, she had made it her own little home. She had her stuffed animals, dolls, pillows and blankets. She laid down on top of all her blankets and pillows, hoping her mother would come home soon.

About an hour later, Y/n had arrived. She set her shopping bags down by the front door and noticed how quiet it was. Usually Ruby would be running to her, screaming “mama’s home!” but Ruby was no where to be seen. Charles was still sitting in front of the piano. Y/n approached him, asking him for their daughter’s whereabouts.

“She ran to her playroom. She said she hates me.” Was all Charles said. At that moment, Charles was doubting his parenting skills.

Y/n mumbled an ‘okay’ and walked to the playroom. Ruby’s fairy lights were on. Y/n quickly saw her little girl inside her princess tent. Ruby was always an energetic child so it was strange for Y/n to see her calm and silent.

“Ruby, what’s wrong, my love?” Y/n walked to the tent and sat on the floor. She could see a couple tears still on her cheek. “Papa told me you said a mean thing to him.”

“Papa didn’t let me play piano with him.” Ruby replied as she snuggled up to her plush bunny. “He said no.”

Y/n sighed. “Ruby Jules, your papa was working. I’m sure that after he was done, he would let you play. But you don’t have to say you hate him just because he said no. You hurt papa’s feelings.”

“He hurt mine.”

Now Y/n understood her mother completely. Ruby might have Charles’ facial features, but she had Y/n’s way of talking. Little Y/n and Ruby would get along so well if they ever met each other.

“You know what I do when I don’t feel good?” Ruby listened to her mother. “I talk to your papa because he always makes me feel better. Let’s go talk to papa.” She hoped Ruby would come out.

It took a few seconds, but Ruby was out of her tent. “I’m sorry, mama.” She said.

“You should say that to papa. He was a little upset when I got here.” Y/n said as she grabbed Ruby’s hand and together, they walked back to the living room where Charles was. He was on the sofa, staring at the ceiling, wondering if he was even a good father.

“Papa?” Ruby spoke, getting Charles’ attention. “I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to hurt your feelings. I don’t hate you.”

“I accept your apology, mon amour. Can I have a hug?” Charles asked the little girl. Ruby nodded and ran to hug her father. Once in Charles’ arms, Ruby placed a kiss on his cheek. “I love you.” Charles said to Ruby.

“I love you too, papa.”

Y/n’s heart melted at the interaction. She loved her little family.

[thiscoldheart]

some details that i loved in la chimera (spoiler heavy) :

i posted this on twitter as well but i wanted to include it here too. i love this little moment here where italia rests her head on arthur's shoulder and for a brief moment, he's anchored to the present by that touch, but him being the orpheus that he is, just HAD to turn back and find himself gravitating towards the tombs, the past and his eurydice.

the fact that italia's name is literally italy in italian and by the end of the movie she creates a community of her own where she's looking out for those that are outcasted by society, in an abandoned train station named riparbella which literally means "to start again".

arthur's eye always being blocked by shadow throughout the movie until he sees the light at the very end

according to wiki, the goddess the statue is based on is cybele, goddess of nature, animals, wild places and represents the "creative and destructive force of nature." her phrygian name matar (mother) alludes to the fact that she was a "mediator between the boundaries of the known and unknown, the civilized and the wild, the worlds of the living and the dead." i love that this goddess' presence in the movie symbolizes arthur traversing between the living and the dead worlds and getting closer to beniamina. i love that by the end of the movie, the statue itself becomes unknown to human eyes and returns to the wild, far away from civilization, which is arguably the same fate that arthur meets as he dies.

the red string that's following arthur around is very reminiscent of the red string ariadne gives theseus to find his way through the maze. it's beautiful how this red string seems to appear only in his dreams at first but slowly starts crossing the boundaries of dreams and reality as the movie goes on until he is able to tug at it by the end and cross over into beniamina's world.

arthur, at the beginning of the movie, says "so it's you. my last woman's face." how cool is it that beniamina's face resembles cybele's?

arthur goes back to flora's house after being injured and her daughter finds him in the bathroom. spooked, she says "i thought it was a ghost" which arthur might as well be considering how he's essentially been a walking corpse this entire movie.

also a special shout out from the bottom of my heart to the sped up sequences, didn't even realize how badly i needed them until i saw them. the chaos in these sequences is everything to me. this is REAL cinema!

in general, one of the themes that i've come to love about this movie is how objects can have different meanings to everyone. an object like the bell arthur found was just "a thing that rings" whereas italia interprets it as a gift until she comes to realize it's been excavated from a grave. the statue was part of a shrine back when it was made, but to the tombaroli and the sellers, this is only a means to make more money. the train station started off as a place that symbolizes movement of people from the city to the countryside but has now become a home for the outcasts of society. the apotropaic phallus would've have warded off evil and bad luck back in the day, but is now used as a means of escape from the law. a simple red string is the literal lifeline for arthur as he tries to find his way back to his lover.

also want to give another shout out to the inclusion of the italian troubadours (our greek chorus) who beautifully spell out the tragedy of our protagonist and his gang.

speaking of music, i really liked this particular song italia was singing as she was practicing. the lyrics go "i'd like to explain to you, o god/ where my suffering lies/ but fate condemns me to weep/ to weep" and that's exactly when arthur finds her crying son. at least italia finds a way for her suffering to end by the end of the movie. maybe we can say the same about arthur too?

i'll probably add more as i keep rewatching the movie lol and make a thread of this on twitter too (x) thanks for sticking around and let me know what other cool details y'all noticed!

[itsallyscorner]

The Sour Tour | Marvel Cast

pairing: marvel cast x teen!reader

warnings: none

summary: the youngest marvel cast member goes on tour💜

a/n: this fic does not correlate with any other fics I’ve made that include the Sour album

face claim: Olivia Rodrigo

Liked by brielarson, robertdowneyjr, and 4,618,387 others

(y/n)(l/n) The Sour Tour has finally begun! Thank you (home state) for kicking it off to an incredible start! Can’t wait to see you all so soon🥹💜

view all 1,247,024 comments

brielarson my sweet angel baby

brielarson love you so much can’t wait to see you!!!!!!!!💖💖

(y/n)fan1 HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOO

(y/n)fan2 THE SET LIST??? CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE SET LIST

(y/n)fan3 HAPPIER THEN TRAITOR BACK TO BACK???

(y/n)fan4 ITS LIKE SHE WANTS TO SEE US CRYYY

(y/n)(l/n) bc I do🧍‍♀️

(y/n)fan5 WHAT THE FUCK

tomholland2013 FINNA BE IN PIT

(y/n)fan6 HE FINNA BE IN PITTTTT🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

zendaya @/tomholland2013 bro shut up

robertdowneyjr Wishing you the best of luck, see you soon bee🐝❤️

paulbettany You’re going to do great!!😃

lifeisaloha Love you fam🫶🏼

(y/n)(l/n) All the love Jacobbbb🫶

(y/n)updates I’m ready.

(y/n)fan7 you’re the harryflorals of (y/n) stans

(y/n)fan8 where’s (y/n)scloset????

(y/n)scloset I’m hereeeee🙋‍♀️

markruffalo Wishing you a FANTASTIC and safe tour❤️

(y/n)(l/n) thank you Mark!!❤️

Liked by chrisevans, imsebastianstan, and 5,293,735 others

(y/n)(l/n) North America tour dump✨🦋💜🎸🔮💿🎀

view all 3,945,824 comments

chrisevans can you just pls sign my poster?

chrisevans please (y/n) I’ve been waiting outside for 30 minutes and teenagers scare the shit out of me

anthonymackie get in line

imsebastianstan I was here first

mcufan1 ya’ll are actual children

evansfan1 @/chrisevans don’t act like we didn’t just see you and Scott going off during Good 4 u👀

elizabetholsen So so so proud!!🤩❤️

mcufan2 Lizzie these are very millennial emojis

(y/n)fan9 MOTHER

(y/n)fan10 MOTHER IS MOTHERING

scarlettjohansson You are the most incredible person I know, what an honor it was to see you live❤️

mcufan3 I SAW YOU AT THE NEW YORK SHOW!!!!!

letitiawright TO EUROPE SHE GOES!!! Can’t wait to see you💜

chrishemsworth can you please do a shoey when you come to Australia?

(y/n)(l/n) no❤️

(y/n)fan11 outta them Doc Martins?💀

(y/n)(l/n) @(y/n)fan11 I swear my feet don’t smell bad

Liked by markruffalo, anthonymackie, and 7,204,834 others

imsebastianstan ALL THE FLOWERS FOR YOU💐

tagged (y/n)(l/n)

view all 1,284,243 comments

elizabetholsen MY BABY❤️

(y/n)fan12 mother sighting

(y/n)fan13 the marvel cast is so cute

mcufan4 They really are her second family🥹

anthonymackie Wtf you went without me?

paulrudd I had a great time Sebastian🫶

paulrudd @(y/n)(l/n) you were phenomenal

anthonymackie YOU WENT WITH PAUL???

mcufan5 LMAOOOOO

mcufan6 NOT SEBASTIAN BEING UNRESPONSIVE

(y/n)(l/n) love you Paul <3

(y/n)(l/n) THANK YOU FOR COMING💜💜💜

vancityreynolds YOU BETRAYED ME.

(y/n)fan14 is his singing a lyric or is he also yelling at Seb?

mcufan7 Ryan what—

mcufan8 Seb what’s your favorite song off the sour album??

imsebastianstan Traitor and Favorite Crime

(y/n)fan15 Bucky coded.

mcufan9 i bet these are on his Bucky playlist

Chris Evans via Instagram Story:

—

Liked by tomholland2013, therussobrothers, and 6,349,934 others

robertdowneyjr You little legend you💜 What an incredible show @(y/n)(l/n) put on tonight at LA! Your talent, charisma, and presence made this such a memorable experience. This show was anything but Sour, the room was full of love and it’s all what (Y/n) deserves. Proud of you always, your Pops❤️

view all 4,248,394 comments

mcufan10 “Proud of you always, your pops”🥹

(y/n)(l/n) It meant so much for you and your family to come out tonight, thank you so much I love you all❤️

(y/n)fan16 I’m crying this is so sweet😭

therussobrothers Can’t wait to document such a legend

mcufan11 excUSE ME?

mcufan12 WHAT—

(y/n)fan17 A TOUR DOCUMENTARY???

(y/n)(l/n) coming soon on Disney+😉

Liked by zendaya, florencepugh, and 7,034,384 others

(y/n)(l/n) Quick pit stop⛽️

View all 3,493,245 comments

zendaya face card never declines

(y/n)scloset bestie where is the sweater in the fourth slide from?

(y/n)scloset unfortunately could not find it :(

(y/n)(l/n) my nana made it <3

(y/n)fan18 we love nana😌

tomholland2013 2 MORE WEEKS TILL IM IN PIT😎😎😎🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

anthonymackie shut up

zendaya you’re embarrassing me🫣

(y/n)fan19 TOM FINNA BE IN PIT YALL🔥🔥🔥

florencepugh you look better in my sunglasses than I do

(y/n)fan20 besties

(y/n)(l/n) I’ll give them back to you when I’m in London😌

haileesteinfeld my baby girlll😍

Liked by florencepugh, tomholland2013, and 8,834,238 others

(y/n)(l/n) UK BABY OI OI🇬🇧👑☕️

View all 3,204,349 comments

(y/n)fan21 OI OIIIIII

(y/n)fan22 she’s such a One Direction fan I love it

florencepugh you mystical, voice of an angel, fairy baby I love youuuu🧚‍♀️❤️

(y/n)fan23 FLO WAS AT NIGHT 1

(y/n)fan24 I CANT BELIEVE I WAS IN THE SAME ROOM AS FLORENCE AND (Y/N)

flofan1 The fact that Flo was backstage and not at the guest section🥹😭

mcufan11 WHERE IS TOM????

brielarson my cutie pie🥰

mcufan12 (Y/N) (L/N) WORLD DOMINATION

Liked by robertdowneyjr, zendaya, and 8,474,924 others

tomholland2013 told you guys I was finna be in pit😎🔥

view all 8,345,833 comments

imsebastianstan unbelievable

mcufan13 how was Tom even allowed in pit with all the fans???😭😭

chrisevans wtf bro

paulrudd OH so this is pit

mcufan14 not paul not knowing what pit is😭😭

anthonymackie she only let you into pit to make you shut up😒

mcufan15 Tom riling everyone up is hilarious😭😭

(y/n)fan25 I’m just as salty ac Mackie tbh..

tomholland2013 don’t be so jealous, there’s always next tour🤪

(y/n)fan26 was right next to Tom the entire concert and I swear I love the man, but he kept screaming in my ear💀

zendaya @/tomholland2013 can never take you anywhere man

(y/n)fan27 Tom’s just a fellow girly pop✨

[anonymous-existences]

Chapter 4 : Flashbacks and Fear

Continuation the The Prolouge, Chapter 1, Chapter 2 and Chapter 3.

Just his luck...

This stupid Fenton Luck.

He's lost in Gotham and Dante is still at work, He forgot where he was for a moment and remembers 'oh he's not in amity' too late and now he's wandering the streets.

"Fuck.... Oh Ancients... Where do I go.... Oh no.. Dan will be so worried." Danny combs his hair back with his hands and letting it ruffle back down again.

Stress. That's what he's feeling right now, confusion too maybe. He wanders the streets in search of his way back hoping the "Fenton Luck" would be on his side and guide him back home.

"Please, please plea-" He stops talking as he hears a commotion, possibly a gang fight he thinks and he decides to hide within the darkness of the alleys in fear of getting in the crossfire.

He doesn't like to hear the fighting... Not anymore much so. He covers his ears as he curled up in the corner of the alleys trembling with his hood up. He tries to muffle the fighting noises coming through his ears by lulling a lullaby Jazz always sang to him.

"🎶p...pass the fourth turn.... By... The barn ... Where Mrs. Full man.. lived until she passed on... There is a cottage.. by the lake..side... Where fairies.... Come out at night.... Hic- .... There's a music.... Box in the bedroom... Hic.... It's playing songs... From 1922.... And if you listen... Hic—🎶" He stops singing as tears rolled down his cheeks, the memories were getting to him. Happy memories when she was alive.

He curls up even further and sobbed hoping his sobs would muffle the Noises. Until the noises finished, but Danny still couldn't stop crying in fear and the memories flooding in on his mind. Replaying over and over again.

The warm smile she gives him, the reassurance that he's no less than human despite having becoming a Halfa. The Family he misses, he misses her so much. He wishes she was still there to comfort him with her lullabies, her gentle touch, her soft spoken voice.

"I'm scared Jazz..." He mutters sobbing.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Damian perked up, they had just finished breaking up a gang fight but Damian couldn't help but hear... Subtle sobs of a child...

Damian isn't always one to care much but he couldn't help himself this time.

"Is everything alright Robin?" The Big B asks with a monotonous tone.

"Not sure B, I hear a child sobbing their eyes out...." Damian answers and starts to walk trying to track the sobs. It made his heart ache- Fuck why is he acting like his father and that so called Genetic "Adoption Tendencies". He refuses to be one of his brothers with that Genetic. Maybe even Grayson is a more reasonable option for that Genetic.

Damian saw a glimpse of the sobbing child in the alley. He tries to mimic his father and try not to be intimidating.

"Hey there... Kid.." Damian spoke out softly with the gentlest smile he could muster out of his face. The kid looked up and it made Damian Flinch.

His eyes, they're too... Reminiscent of the Lazarus Waters.... Did someone dunk this kid there too? What the fuck happened to him? Who is he?, many questions ran through Robin's Mind but he shakes it off to check up on the kid.

"Are you alright... Do you need hel—" Damian was cut off by the kid suddenly hugging him tightly.

"Please... Bring me back home... Hic... I want to go home..." The kid sobbed, almost pleading to go back home.

Why is Damian's Heart Aching?. Why is it making him want to cry too... It was odd, but Damian just hugs the kid back and carries him— Dear God he's so light weight. It's like lifting a feather, very concerning... His body temperature was also ice cold. That's even more concerning.

"Ofcourse... I'll take you home... Do you uhm- have any family?" Robin asks worryingly.

"Mhm.... My big brother..." The kid mutters softly.

"And where is he?" Robin asks again and was told that he works at a local new Cafe near Gotham U.

Robin just nods and looks at Batman with a stern yet softer look.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Bruce was confused, Damian was being.... Soft-spoken, really. A rare sight. Damian consoling a crying child.

A child with Black hair blue eyes and .. a lot of scars, including a very concerning Lichtenberg Scars that traces along the child's eye to his skin and possibly down to his chest or back.

"B, the police can handle the rest of them, I'll take this child to the Cafe near Gotham U." Robin states blantantly.

"...hnn... I'm coming with you." Bruce said and Robin just sighed and nodded.

Who's child is this...? How did he get here? How did he make Damian so soft-spoken? Is he a meta? Is one of the criminals they subdued his parents or-... Bruce tried to keep his thoughts calm, it's just a child after all.

Bruce gave the kid a Candy, Odd that he had one in his pocket but it still calmed the kid nontheless

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

They eventually reached the Cafe and Saw a Panicking Man yelling out the name "Danny" as he wanders around concerningly.

"Dan!" The kid yelled out, still in Robin's arms.

"OH ANCIENTS! DANNY!" Dante was very worried, tears were rolling down his cheeks and he was already About to call Vlad.

Robin sets Danny Down and Danny ran to Dan and Jumped at him. Dante hugged Danny tightly, "Fuck... Where did you go... You little twerp.... You shouldn't run away like that... Or even wander off. Goddamit.." Dante sighed in relief as they pressed foreheads with each other .

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" Danny mutters under soft sobs.

"It's okay kid... It's okay.." Dante reassures him as he looked at Robin with soft gentle teary eyes. "Thank you..." Dante utters with his voice almost breaking.

"C'mon Danny.. say thank you to the heroes." Dante tries to distract Danny through telling him to say thank you and Danny tilts his head towards Robin and Batman.

"Thank you..." He smiles with teary reddish eyes that made Damian's Heart Ache but also throb with happiness.

Robin smiles softly. "It's what...we do..." He says with a gentle soft-spoken tone. Batman just Grunts approvingly and Danny Giggled.

"Thank you. Thank you again. I wish you all the best.." Dante mutters as he kisses Danny's Hair and Bows at the two heroes before walking off.

Danny waves goodbye at Robin and Batman and Robin couldn't help but wave back, he slowly stares at his hand that was waving goodbye and presses it to his chest.

"... Such an... Odd feeling..." Robin utters with a smile still plastered on his face as he noticed the kid had left a sticker on his glove. A star sticker infact.

He plans to keep that sticker on the glove now. Never letting it be taken off, because it made him smile.

Really.

Odd... So odd.

As promised @craftyexpertchild and @darkenedenchantress tags for y'all

I wrote this in a 40-30 minutes timeframe

Older brother Dan is my type of Man and Cunt™