#it's also really fun to think about how this setup could've played out

[omo321]

“Are you crying?” Fina exclaims in alarm. Tsurumi is equally startled when he wipes at his face and his hand comes away wet. Not once had he shed tears, not even when he’d lost them. Pulling a chair up to him, Fina dries his cheeks with soft dabs of her handkerchief. With her hand on his shoulder and her beautiful, bright eyes soft with more love than Tsurumi can bear, she waits for an explanation that he cannot give.

gnawing on "theatre" by Saengak again... it's free serotonin to me

[dg-outlaw]

Acolyte Season 2 AU (or What Could Have Been)

*Season 1 spoilers* and My Thoughts.

So with Season 1 over, instead of reflecting on what was, I want to talk about what could've been. I imagine there's a plan for season 2 and part of my guess is that we'll get more into the Dark Side and the Sith with Osha's training with the Stranger/Qimir and their secret roommate, Darth Plagueis the Creeper. On the Jedi side we'll probably get into political conflict between the Jedi and the Senate, and have a 'What Do We Do With Mae?' subplot. But here's what I think could've been interesting...

From what I've seen online, a lot of fans enjoyed these two characters (Jecki Lon and Yord Fandar, pictured above), especially them together, which I think is a real loss for the show unless they are leaning more towards a Dark Side/Sith focused storyline for Season 2. If anything, that's one of my critiques of the show, even though I enjoyed it. Was the show about Osha and Mae, the Jedi, Sol and what happened on Brendok, or a mix with an ensemble cast? I think had the show been 12-15 episodes it could've successfully been all of the above, but with only 8 episodes I feel like none of those plotlines got enough attention or time to breathe and really hit. Again, I enjoyed the show and look forward to what comes in Season 2, but...

...what if Jecki and Yord had lived?

Season 1 could've still played out as it did and maybe Jecki and Yord were injured rather than killed or presumed dead in Episode 5 to further add to Sol's anguish. Though, with how badass she was, even just keeping Jecki alive could've been interesting for this AU idea. Here's why:

This first season ends with Vernestra basically throwing Sol under the bus. Yes, he made some major mistakes and he and the other 3 Jedi from Brendok covered up their secret for years because Indara thought it was the best course of action, but how would Jecki (and Yord) have taken that news? Their kind, gentle, and wise master a rogue Jedi who orchestrated some elaborate murder plot to cover up his past crimes? It wouldn't make sense to them (based on the Sol they knew) and I think you could have a whole noir-style investigation subplot with them not knowing who to trust in the Jedi Order, arguing about who to trust and whether they should doubt their masters, and wrestling with the realities and truth of Sol's past. Would they go to Senator Rayencourt or work with him to uncover the truth or would they wrestle with the idea that to uncover the truth it could unravel the whole Jedi Order?

Seriously, the buddy cop dry humor mixed with the drama could be so fun.

Then you add in Mae, who Jecki and Yord would be antagonistic toward at first, but then she'd become part of their little investigative team. Either way, Mae will likely want answers to who she is in Season 2, but the Jedi are likely to keep those answers from her and that would add another layer. Jecki and Yord would be forbidden from interacting with her or just not told about her until they saw her randomly in the streets of Coruscant with her Jedi security detail.

This would also setup a very interesting conflicts as you'd have Team Sith (Qimir, Osha, and Cave Roomie Plag), Team Sol (Jecki, Yord, and Mae), and Team Jedi (Vernestra, her Executive Assistant Mog, and other "red shirt" Jedi). I have no idea where Yoda would fit into all this, but maybe he'd secretly guide Jecki and Yord with vague Jedi wisdom because he's seeing some problems in his house that need to be fixed.

Also, Jecki would get a rematch with Qimir, a battle with Osha (similar to hers with Mae), and Yord... well, Yord would do battle and maybe die. Though, he and Mae could develop something as a mirror to Osha and Qimir, even if just a friendship (esp. if a Jecki/Mae thing happens), and that would give Mae conflict if it was Osha who killed him.

In the end, Jecki and maybe Yord (if he lives) would leave the Order, similar to how Ahsoka did in The Clone Wars. No matter what the outcome ended up being, it would shake their faith in the Order. Yoda would be the only one left who knew the truth, but with everyone believed dead or gone, it would be okay in his mind and Ki-Adi-Mundi could just be left in the dark for the sake of his Episode 1 quote about the Sith.

Obviously, Plagueis would somehow survive (unbeknownst to Yoda) and would later use what he learned about Osha and Mae to create Anakin as one of his experiments to achieve immortality, hoping to have a new body to transfer himself into. Sidious would be unaware of this as Plagueis would be aware of Sidious' intention to kill him and would've kept Anakin a secret b/c Sith be shady backstabbers like that. It wouldn't be until meeting young Anakin that Palpy realizes Anakin was that secret project Plagueis was working on but never told him about. Thus, his fascination with Anakin, Luke, and his later (sequel) attempts to use Rey in the same way.

[pb-dot]

Film Friday: Dark City

On occasion I will come across a piece of media that would absolutely have me in its grasp if I watched it when I was younger. This isn't a value judgement on the movies as much as it is recognizing aesthetic that would be my entire shit if they got to me at a formative enough age. Today's movie is one of those, and as a bit of a mystery, I really recommend going into it blind. I also really recommend not watching the theatrical cut because it spoils the mystery in the opening minutes of the movie. If alternate cuts aren't available, as they often aren't in today's streaming market, you can correct for this by muting the movie until the screen is no longer dark. Trust me on this one. Anyway, let's get on with the movie.

John Murdoch is having a bit of a strange hangover, as he wakes up in a hotel room with a dead body and no memory of how he got himself into this situation. He has a wife, apparently, a job, and goals, he would like to escape the dreary overcast city and go to Shell Beach at one point. It is weird, he can't help but notice, how nobody seems to realize the sun never rises. Odder still is the machinations of The Strangers, a group of fellas in trench coats who run a city-wide experiment at night, shuffling around people's lives and the very geography of the city.

What unfolds is in practice a sci-fi-heavy Twilight Zone episode-type story. It is pretty fun to see how the almost-realistic if visually stylized ontological mystery peels away to the wider sci-fi thriller underneath. The movie does have answers to the questions it raises, and it is honestly one of the better examples of plots that do such a complete turn on its assumed genre.

It is also, I suspect, where the director lost the studio and promotion people. While I don't envy the job of trying to market a movie like Dark City to a late 90's cinema audience that hadn't had their minds sufficiently blown by The Matrix yet, there's no denying that New Line fucked up on this one.

It isn't just the opening of the movie, where Kiefer Sutherland's Dr. Schreber lays out the entire setup and every reveal for acts 1 and 2. Granted, as the Stranger's... let's call it unwilling collaborator, he would sit on all that knowledge... but you don't give that to the audience right away. Like what the actual fuck are you doing at that point? Why bother to HAVE a first and second act if you're just going to cliffnotes the entire thing minute one. Of course, it isn't helped that the tagline for the thing is also a real whopper of a spoiler as well.

It's easily one of the single most self-sabotaging moves in cinema history, and it's not like it'd be hard to make a compelling mystery out of it. "What lies at the heart of the Dark City," or perhaps "A man without a memory, lost in a city without light" or "jeez what's the deal with all those trench-coated cunts" or whatever. The movie is a really cleverly constructed set of mysteries, and just playing along with that a little bit could've made this movie quite iconic.

Now, this might be me going all "old man yells at cloud," but I think people forget how much the central mystery of what exactly The Matrix was. "The Matrix has you," promotional material would hint, "Free your mind." It was back in the day where you could, if you so chose, get real coy about what your movie actually was about, and if you presented a compelling mystery it could get butts in seats on that alone. I have always suspected this is what motivated the initial release of Alien in my country being titled "Den Åttende Passasjer" (lit: The Eight Passenger) was to try to build a bit of extra mystery.

All of this isn't to say that Dark City is this flawless piece of cinema. It is stylized so heavily it might come off a bit hokey to a modern audience. Some of it is in the acting, such as Kiefer Sutherland's intense unhinged brain doc, and the first few bits of Rufus Sewells protagonist feels a bit floundering and "Intro to Acting"-y. I will say that Sewell seems to hold himself admirably once there starts to be an actual plot for him to interact with, and Sutherland's semi-crazed intensity fits his role in that same plot way better than being "seemingly normal" ever did.

There is something deeply noir about this, about how the stylization of "regular" life in the city feels so alien because it is. The roles that are being played are superficial and inauthentic, and that's because they are. It's all an experiment by an alien observer, trying to suss out something or other about humanity through shuffling all the pieces around and seeing what it gets them. It is, in a way, a next level step from using stylistic sets and dialog to examine the human condition, or Science Fiction boiled down to its most basic component.

And what components indeed. We do get some of that not-always-great 90's CGI, but a lot of the movie's visuals is awesome sets and stylish lighting. Some of the sets, or so the story goes, was sold off to the production of The Matrix, and while they struck somewhat less of a striking figure in that movie, it is a neat little connection.

I feel I also must give a shoutout to the villains of this piece. We never learn too much about The Strangers and their deal, but there's enough intriguing hints and outright explanation to make them feel just real enough for the weird antagonist role they fill in the story. Mister Hand, played with a layer of subtle unhingedness even through all the Stranger business by the always kinda off Richard O'Brien, deserves particular note. Ian Richardson also gets a nod for going all out on the declarative voice as Mr. Book, the ostensible leader of the Strangers.

In a way, I wish that the movie was a little bit more cryptic about the Strangers and the strange goings on of Dark City. It is a compelling story, but some of the interactions between the Strangers and John feel like they're meant to come as more of a twist than they are. That could, of course be my storytelling dork brain that's a bit faster to pick up things than what is perhaps reasonable to expect.

It's also interesting to me that for a movie that deals with memory and identity, Dark City comes up kind of agnostic about what role memory plays in our personality. Like yes, Murdoch is driven by what fragments of his memories he possesses, but the memories that allow him to reach his full potential and ultimately defeat The Strangers are every piece as synthetic as the implanted memories he left behind. It isn't him returning to a "true" self as much as Kiefer Sutherland giving him memories of using his alien superpowers for decades as a desperate hail-mary. If this movie came out a few years later, I'd call it evocative of the Matrix, in that the fakeness of "reality" becomes a pivotal part of its unmaking

That said, the love between John and his wed-by-memory wife Emma, played by the always radiant Jennifer Connelly, seems to be real enough, and it is a quest for a more genuine existence than the dark drab pantomime that drives the plot. It does end up as a somewhat muted thing about human nature, granted, as John does come dangerously close to the old canard about Love Making Us Human. That said, I recognize that it isn't always about the destination. It is, I would say, very true to the beating heart of Sci-Fi that the movie tries to land the heady journey it has taken us to, however clumsy the attempt.

So that's Dark City for you. Strange, in the way few movies are allowed to be these days, ambitious, in the way good Sci-Fi is, gorgeous, in that consciously stylized way only movies can get. Give it a look if you happen to have ignored my advice wrt spoilers in the intro. It is, after all, only human to be curious.

[imthepunchlord]

Ok, so I'm just gonna apologize in advance, I'm sorry, I know you're probably sick of these types of asks. I was gonna wait till call the polls were done, but since you've been talking about how you've already started brainstorming ideas, it like I should probably just say this idea sooner rather later. So, have you considered using the power system you used for your A Declaration of Love and in your old "Miraculous Fox and Peacock powers" post. I felt it would be fitting since these new powers (like the ones in that fic and post) are based on the animal's symbolism, and this setup could allow for multiple powers. Plus, these new versions of the miraculous feel much like a return to back to how we thought the miraculous would be before season two so it could feel fitting.

Nah don't worry about it. And votes seem to be slowing down for the polls, and I've been itching to get brainstorming so might as well get into it.

With these polls, and plans being made to change, I've actually been gradually rewatching Miraculous, taking notes on eps and on characters to refresh myself and it's just taking me back to that time before s2, and just how creative and fun it was to get into ML fanworks. As it gave us so little info we had to get creative.

Like, on artist who used to do really cool ML art suspected Wayzz was a Grasshopper before we got the confirmation of him being a Turtle.

And man I found I enjoyed those days more, as what a lot of people thought of was far more interesting and fun than what we got. And everything that came post s2 really kinda railroaded us and stifled that creativity.

And a lot of the things brought in were:

Frustrating, like Miraculous are more powerful for adults, which why did Fu pick 2 kids and not do anything to help even the playing field? And we got the confirmation he has 16-17 Miraculous on him, why did he release the very two Gabriel needed? Especially as, arguably, Cat's just not that necessary for facing the Butterfly. Also! There's honestly more powerful perks to misusing a Miraculous, why are they so easy to misuse? And according to Paris Special, why is it that Miraculous are willing to gradually kill off kids misusing them, but won't do anything to adults who misuse them? This is all rigged.

Pointless, like the potions, which aren't really "power ups" but just suit changes. Changes that Miraculous already naturally do as the suit comes down to the user. If someone loves ice skating and it's naturally integrated into their suit, the Ice Potion is pointless.

And just entirely baffling: the entirety of the Rabbit, and Alix, a 15 yo girl, being made to be the Timekeeper, live away from her family and friends to manage the timeline, which, why is that being given to a human? Who are going to be biased and not neutral, made worse to be given to a 15 yo who's not fully matured, and clearly we see her involving herself in the timeline which I'm not sure she should be doing as that's influencing outcomes. And why did they even think a time traveling Miraculous was a good idea? That power is so OP and can get so easily complicated you can get a headache trying to make sense of what they rolled out with it. And honestly, what does time traveling have to do with Alice in Wonderland? If they wanted to really reference AiW with Rabbit, I would've voted dream hopping, cause dreams are wild, imaginative, chaotic, and nonsensical. And that could've worked in ties to the moon as people sleep at night, and that could've been tied to healing too, as dreams can be tied to the subconscious, and you could've done something with dream influence and help people face what they're dealing with. Or if Rabbit had to be another time related Miraculous, do something with influencing the flow of time, either slowing it down so the user appears to be going fast, or speeding up the motion of the user and others and objects.

Tangent aside, I am going to be aim to dismiss and change a lot of what canon has brought in and just kinda go back to working off those old days. I am planning on working off a lot of animal symbolism and myth, and some details that Thomas has rolled out I'll consider (like Pied Piper was a Fox, which suggests Fox should have also have a power tied to hypnosis/subconscious suggestion through music). And just go back to those days where we were more creative and better worked off the possibilities with animals. And ideally do some uniqueness that's not going to have a lot of similar powers, aside from healing and mass restoration, as I feel if there's going to be any repeated powers, those would make the most sense.

I will give ADoL a reread (cause it's been years and typically when I get a fic done, it goes out of my mind as I'm not giving anymore attention to it, so I don't remember everything with it); and it's just a little funny as this is the fic that gets brought up to me the most on relating to Miraculous and kwami changes. Like, Nobody has mentioned to me that Juuno was their favorite take on the Peafowl kwami's personality before canon rolled out ditzy and emotional Duusu. Which maybe got toned down post fixing? I'm not sure. Either way, it gets brought a lot and I don't remember everything so I'll be giving it a reread to refresh myself.

[benjaminbadger]

I'm sorry gay people in my phone but the new Doctor Who has thoroughly fucking confused me and was kind of a letdown

Thoughts under cut

I thought they were gonna genuinely do something with the story and aliens being extremely generic? Like. The Doctor regenerates back into their 10th form, coincidentally near Donna Noble, coincidentally while a plot's going on that feels like a self parody of Dr Who as a show. Tiny overly cutesy alien, gets found by and connects with teen who hides it from family, getting hunted down by big scary alien army, scenes like the plushie hiding thing that feel pulled straight out of a generic 80s scifi family film??

The Meep being evil was obviously gonna happen but I assumed there would be a second twist to it? Like, maybe they were both an elaborate set up bc some larger entity wanted 10 and Donna together. I thought bc it was the anniversary they were going the meta approach by making a threat that basically encapsulates the exact set up you imagine when you think about the show, mashing all the tropes together into one adventure made especially to encourage Donna and 10 back into the old days. Even the end with an oops silly mistake resulting in them being stuck together in the Tardis.

BUT THEN. THEY PLAYED IT COMPLETELY STRAIGHT?? AND THE EPISODE JUST ENDS?? NOT EVEN ANY CHARACTER ACKNOWLEDGING HOW WEIRD THIS WHOLE SITUATION WAS???? JUST COMPLETELY ACTING NORMAL. EVEN THE DOCTOR

I'm seriously hoping that this is explained later on as a setup for somethig larger, and that in later rewatches it'll be way more satisfying. But rn I'm confused as hell and disappointed, and if the show wasn't so important to my childhood I proly wouldn't wanna watch further. If it is all setup then... I don't want an exclusively setup episode. That's lame. At the very least if you ARE going that direction foreshadow it better

Some minor things I'm nitpicking also

- I know Doctor Who isn't meant to be that serious but come on the intro of David Tennant just greenscreened standing in space explaining the setup was so goofy it made me howl (and I don't think that was intentional)

- I love an important trans character, that's based as hell, but the trying to act relevant and appeal to Gen Z was kind of annoying. Not as in "Grrr my old show is woke 😡" I'm literally one of the wokes. As in "Haha women are so much cooler and smarter than men 😏 Doctor assuming pronouns 😳 Binary Nonbinary 😁😁" "🦡 Wow that's not very funny and a little irritating, it feels like a cistraight guy wrote this". It was a funny episode and some bits of this were funny but certainly not others

- For real tho I'm obsessed w "Binary Nonbinary" that's so fucking stupid

- For all the set up and stakes put on Donna remembering the Doctor, the way it resolved felt like a copout. Passing down and sharing the power was fine but literally just going "Nuh uh" and sending it away?? I really feel like that diminishes how importantly the time lord power was set up just for the sake of Donna being alive for more episodes. If they need her they could've at least let the two deal with it together for a while, before finding a better way to get rid of it down the line

- ^ It also made Donna's death have less impact for the problem to be solved in such an easy way. Her dying was emotional, was well executed, until it wasn't and she was fine and she was back having fun doctor times and woo!! everything to do with her absorbing that power and losing her memory is done and dusted and doesn't need further exploring 😁😁👍👍 I mean come on man..... give us something............

TLDR special was very fun but I expected it to do something interesting and subversive and it ended up playing the parody of itself completely straight. I'm hoping as more stuff comes out the showrunners are proven to be complete masterminds who purposefully made it like that and I'm gonna look like a bumbling idiot

[princedragonoverlord]

My thoughts on Qibli!

I decided to just write out my opinions and thoughts about Qibli, which understandably not everyone may agree with which is okay! If you don't like my interpretations or ideas no worries, I am not here to argue or make you feel the same as I do! I just want to write it out for fun :3

So I personally dislike Qibli. He's my least favorite character in WoF and I also was very disappointed about Moonbli being the end result canonically.

But I also feel like there was a ton of opportunity for his character that would've made me enjoy him more. Here's a bit of a long-ish list (also note I haven't slept in a bit so if some of this doesn't make sense I apologize):

1. I think he shouldn't have been the last book in arc 2. I feel like he was too preoccupied with thoughts about Moon and his overthinking to really have had any character growth. It seemed he was supposed to come off as witty and sharp but considering how much he overthinks it doesn't seem like he should be that sharp at all. I think he needed to overcome his overthinking when he met Thorn, he could still have doubts which would make sense as a struggle, fear of becoming as worried as he used to be.

2. I almost think maybe he should've been a side character only for helping the others, essentially the role Kinkajou played, and I feel like she should've had the last book. Though I did love her surprise being the hero moment at the end of Arc 2 and I don't think it would work from her perspective.

3. I loved him as a character when he was away from Moon. For me they felt very forced and he seemed too distracted by her when they were together. In Turtle's book he was fantastic as a friend and goofball, he wasn't near Moon for some of it which made him seem genuine and like his own dragon.

4. I like Winterwatcher more cause of the setup they had and the parallels between Winter and Moon and Darkstalker and Clearsight. As well as Arctic and Foeslayer. Seeing how Qibli was supposed to be so close to being just as bad as Darkstalker and it felt like he wasn't going to choose to save anyone, he hesitated too much for my liking and it was too sudden to be character growth. It feels like Moon and him became the reflection of Darkstalker and Clearsight, which I don't like. And avoiding Winterwatcher as perhaps a "let's not repeat mistakes of the past" is strange to me. With Moon and Winter it felt like they could work together to repair their opinions of each other's tribes. They definitely need to work out their feelings and communication but I see them becoming a very healthy reincarnated version of Arctic and Foeslayer in a way. They could've proved Darkstalker wrong and Darkstalker wouldn't have approved of it as much as he likely did with Moon and Qibli, likely seeing them as himself and Clearsight which I hate to think maybe he had satisfaction in perhaps. Though this is all obviously my own vision of things too.

5. I also think Qinter could've worked out well. They had cute moments together and it would give Moon freedom from HAVING to choose. She didn't have to choose anyone, it was strange it seemed she had no choice and was pressured into it, as if she were to be with someone forever against her will. I believe she deserved more time to get to know the 2 and maybe an obligatory ending would've been best where nothing was confirmed ship wise.

6. Qinterwatcher I also quite enjoy. I think the 3 of them make a great dynamic without pressure to choose one over another. This is the case where Moon and Qibli work without throwing Winter under the bus either. (Yes I know some view him as mean especially to Moon at the end, but I think he was having a valid reaction to the horrible situation, to a dragon that wanted his entire tribe dead. He just didn't have the words or tools to explain in the moment since he was not complete with his character arc and growth. He was improving slowly for Moon, though arguably he should improve for himself which I think is what was implied at the end of Arc 2 but it could still work with him and Moon together. I also read him as being not genuinely mean, just a hurt teen with too much societal pressure on him constantly who needed support from someone he cared about and saw being manipulated.) Anyway the 3 of them makes me happy the second most to Winterwatcher since no one is left out and that can also be thrown back in DS's face as a Ha! Didn't have to choose! Too.

7. Again I think Qibli just thought about Moon way too much. He could still crush on her but it felt like it was impairing his judgment. I wouldn't say it gave me creepy vibes necessarily, just unhealthy attachment that could eventually turn into a similar situation as DS and CS.

8. Qibli had potential as a villain or unwilling henchman. I think if he'd been charmed a bit more by DS then he could've outwardly shown more similarities to DS, cause honestly I didn't see the similarities very much at all until they were thrown in at the end. I also think he could've caused a major problem on accident the way Peril did. Trying to do something good but resulting in making the situation worse would've been great and taken his focus away from Moon more.

9. He needed more interaction with other characters. He needed to spend more time with Turtle, Kinkajou, and Peril, all of which he just kind of didn't hang out with that much which is strange considering how he wanted others to like him so why not spend time with the rest of the group more so they'll like you more?

For now that's all I have to say about Qibli. He's my least favorite but I don't absolutely hate him, he's still a good character. Just mostly disappointed in the way things could've turned out but didn't.

Anyway if you've got anything you'd like to mention or share about him and your own thoughts or anything to add on to my own feel free! I'm interested to hear about those who do like him more and why, as well as why others who don't like him don't. The only thing I ask is to not bring shipping wars into this and to remain polite of others opinions cause I welcome many different ships and ideas and love to see different perspectives! Thank you :3

[medi-melancholy]

i have played ✨more games!✨

a date with death: 3 / 5

it's really cute!!! i'm surprised how long and comprehensive this game is for a freebie, so many lil bits you can personalize, lots of variable dialogue... grim is a very charming failboy. the art is pretty and the UI is all slick. i wish there wasn't so much clicking involved with consecutive dialogue selections when there's literally no other options to pick from, it wore my hand out. i also wish the PC was characterized a bit differently, or had more personality variance in their own dialogue. but for what it is, it's nice! fun concepts, not too long or too short, feels about right all around

my hole is a mouth of dirt: 2, maybe 2 and a half / 5

one of those "linear 1 hour long rpgmaker horror games" and for that it's a fun lil ride. sound design, lighting, and original design for sprites/creatures/environment stuff were awesome. i spent a lot of time inspecting every possible thing i thought i could, checking every room, trying to die in specific places, etc, to see if there were any secrets or branches, but what you see is what you get, bit of a shame since the character and setting stuff being set up here is really neat--but it's likely because this game is a predetermined part in a series, i think. this was my first and only yai game, so i can't say for certain

also: 1. yes the walking speed is extremely slow no i didn't mind it yes it actually enhanced the experience, 2. that last chaser bit was getting frustrating enough that i had to look up tips from the dev on the community page on how to beat it so ggghhhhh, and 3. i was really excited about what the ending could be and what it was building to but, for me, it tripped at the finish line at the last possible second :')

stillwater: 3 / 5 at the least

this is one that had me hooked pretty quickly. art, sprite work, narration, characters and dialogue, setup, all excellent stuff. it's short and simple, but it could've been even shorter and simpler than what it is, so the fact that it goes beyond that feels great. the horror is subdued and not really "scary" but the atmosphere is so well-done and suits a mystery perfectly. i had a lot of questions as i played, and by the time i'd done all the endings besides the 'bonus scene' type one, they weren't quite entirely answered--but that last secret scene tied everything up in a very compelling, and more literal way than i would've ever expected. i might be thinking about this story for a while

[bossyuri]

Ima put my random thoughts about SRV in here! It probably won't make much sense but wtv sdfsg

again I haven't placed the last building or conquered the whole map yet, as context, but i did finish the main story aside from that.

So ima start of with thoughts while disregarding how the bugs affected the experience!

Overall, I had a good time! I really enjoyed it. I love the new crew. I loved the focus on friendship. I'd say the story overall is nothing really special though, which I don't think is necesserily a bad thing. Sometimes a chill story packaged in a fun game is good ya know.

I loved finding out bits and pieces about our friends through dialogue, I think that was great, and I really liked that it felt like a solid friend group. Modern Yuri (as I like to colloqually call him lmao) is so much more mellow from having a good support system early on lol. But he's still got some Classic Yuri in him.

The rival gangs I think that thematically, visually, their music and stuff, they were great. I liked them a lot, they had good contrast, their music when you fight them rules. I do think that they were a little underused in the actual story though so they don't quite leave the impact that say, the Syndicate did. The threat they posed felt more theorical than anything you actually see. Again not the worst thing, but I feel like they could've used a bit more time to be more present. (I did like how the Panteros stuff ended because it tied in with other things later though!). Like I think in particular that the collective could have been used a lot more.

That said I did play with looong months-long break for the first quarter of the game so idk how that affected my impression. And the last few missions I think were really, really cool, I really liked them! But I felt like the middle parts after a certain point weren't quite as memorable.

But I don't think it was bad! And the game isn't quite over yet, so I'm looking forward to what's to come.

Also I did like how narratively the game tries to give you a nice fantasy release from a lot of real life issues. I'm sure many people at Volition had to face these frustrations in their lives and it felt like. relatable yknow.

Now though.....so I work in game QA, going on my 7th year, and the game released in....really an unnacceptable state, which was really a bummer and really harmed it. I don't blame the devs. Devs want to give us good games. But they don't control release dates.

and they did not control covid. I know a lot people see covid as an "excuse" to fuck up games but trust me as someone who was working in the industry through it all, it absolutely messed up a *lot* of stuff that you may never know about. My setup from home is still not ideal. And thats not even getting into employee burnout but anyway-

I've had crashes to desktop, blockers in missions (regularly), broken multiplayer (tho i havent had a chance to test it again after patches) needing full game restarts for a variety of reasons (clothes broken, face broken, world stopped populating, quest blocked...) the clothes system still breaks for me after so many months after release (thought its a lot better. i dont fear the stores as much anymore lol). I don't know if it's a quirk of the PC version, but it would have been so much more of a good experience if they had had the time to polish the game more before release. Lots of gamers don't have much patience for this kinda shit, and it's a shame for a game that has a lot of love put into it.

But they're still patching the game, and the QOL changes that they keep adding are really good. The game is a lot more stable for me too so I will definitely keep playing, and I'm hoping that my mental state will allow me to make some fun content from it. I'm still kinda hoping for a steam release sometime so I might get to replay the story again if that happens. Because taking screenshots on epic is a goddamn pain.

So huh anyway. I don't think anyone cares that much but if you've read that far thank you! And also thanks for sticking around with me for so long despite my dropping off the face of the earth in a depression spiral. But I'm still around and Yuri is still around. And Saints Row V is fun!

[misseffect]

ok the me/f1 concept is. so good. have 2 ask do you have any thoughts on characters not central to the fic? where do the rest of the normandy gang fit im obsessed

anon!!!!!! i love you for this!!!! thank you for asking 💕💕💕 i have Many Thoughts. here is a summary (in tiny text because I can't do read-mores on mobile)

Wrex - could've been World Champ material if he hadn't gotten too big for single-seater cars by the time he was 14. He's in some kind of leadership role at Aralakh (the krogan team). Maybe chief strategist.

Tali - engineer at Normandy; fresh out of uni and quickly makes Adams' second in command. Becomes irate if asked how old she is and regularly threatens to commit acts of violence against Garrus with a wheel gun.

Liara - racing with Sovereign as of Delta canon (because of the Benezia / Saren link) but idk what I'm going to do with her after that.

Kaidan - racing with Alliance, the Normandy B Team (I'm imagining a Red Bull / AlphaTauri setup). He and Shepard dated for a while when they were in Formula 4 together and he maybe subs into Normandy for a bit during Year Five for plot reasons.

Vega - Anderson's PT and later Garrus's when he joins Normandy. I've written him and Ash as An Item before but honestly I like ace!Vega for this fic.

Thane - retired driver. He and Shepard dated for 6mo or so during her first year on the F1 grid, until she got cold feet about being a step-parent to an 18yr old lmao

Zaeed - retired driver. Got his face busted in a crash with Vido in the 80s and now uses his celeb status to blag entry into fancy F1 parties with open bars. He's got uuuuuhhhh a bit of a role to play at the end of Year One 😏😏

Grunt - driver for Aralakh. Behaves exactly how you'd expect Grunt to behave if given a 200mph chunk of carbon fibre. The rest of the grid give him a VERY wide berth off the start line.

Jack - undecided but I'd really like to find a way for her to steal a car from Cerberus. Maybe she's a disillusioned, mistreated drop-out from their young driver program.

Miranda - Cerberus driver. As per canon, she's with them mostly because they're about the only pie her father can't get his fingers into. Also looks phenomenal in a race suit, obviously.

Jacob - Cerberus driver no.2. No real plans for him beyond the fact of his existence.

Kasumi - Normandy's "requisitions" person. Need a hire car? Need an outfit for a black tie gala? Need dubiously-obtained rumours about a rival team's wind tunnel data? Kasumi's your gal.

Mordin - I feel like he'd be fun as a commentator but idk if he'd get much use that way

Cortez - Normandy's other race engineer (Anderson's and then subsequently Garrus's). Shepard keeps Joker throughout because no one else can put up with either of them for long enough

Kelly - Normandy's PR / media person. Shepard spends a lot of time trying to give her the slip.

Traynor - Normandy's chief strategist. A new hire during Year One or Two.

Chakwas - Normandy's team doctor, obviously.

Legion, EDI, Samara and Javik - no plans currently, but something might come up as I go.

I think that's everyone???

[loires]

very unsorted and unfiltered thoughts about barbie. expect a lot of meandering because i'm just trying to get this all down somewhere since i want to rewatch the film at a later date to see if i change my mind about some things.

i pretty much went into the film blind; i only watched one trailer, and wanted to see it immediately. the costumes, the sets, the dialogue bits, the cast—it looked like it would be a funny, smart, and also sentimental sort of movie, which i was very intrigued by.

a lot of that is still true: the sets were lovely, i LOVED the coloring; the costumes were great, thinking about all the research that was involved excites me—i might have to look up a BTS of that process; i really enjoyed how they brought barbie world to life, complete with all the quirks, etc. that come from playing with toys as a kid. margot robbie as barbie is so perfect, and ryan gosling as ken was so much fun; the whole cast was amazing.

also, i'm really glad that there was no romance between barbie and ken. that was one thing i was getting kind of worried about as the film neared the end, lol.

so that just leaves other parts of the writing:

i'm really not sure how i feel about the resolution between the barbies and kens. in the end, the barbies give a degree of power to the kens, but the narrator seemed to put it in such a mean-spirited sort of way (i can't remember the exact dialogue, but it was something like, "in [x amount of time], maybe the kens will have as much power as women do in the real world") that i'm left ??? i get it's a joke, but i'm still ??? i mean... okay, i should say that my preference here is full gender equality (as that's what feminism is about), so this weird watered-down-kinda-sorta-but-not-really is just not enough for me. like, I GET IT, gender equality takes time, but it's barbie world, not the real world—the same barbie world that exploded into patriarchy fantasy land in a day just because ken entered it with a bunch of pro-patriarchy books; the same barbie world where women achieve and run everything. so to have imagination stop there is a bit strange.

and, really, a gender equal barbie world could've also tied up what i thought was a loose end with the mattel guys. something like they could've seen how wonderful a world is where both barbies and kens share equal status/power and vow to take that back to the real world or whatever. like what happens to the CEO in the end, really? he likes gloria's new idea, but ??? i think that's it, lol… he doesn't talk about hiring & elevating more women in the workplace or anything like that, as far as i could remember. (this is why i want to rewatch it.)

I LIED, I DO HAVE MORE TO SAY, ETA: like the more i think about this—gender equality, the mattel situation—the more i question the film, like the portrayal of barbies and kens in general, how "gender roles" are redefined / reconstructed rather than smashed to pieces? how the film goes somewhere with these themes, but not far enough. partly because maybe the subject (barbie) is what's limiting the scope in the first place? i need to sit with this more, lol...

i was waiting for gender equality to happen—maybe that's my fault, lol—because i really liked the whole setup they did with ken being left out of barbie's dream house in the beginning. it was such a Moment for me, knowing that i laughed at that scene because of how quirky and barbie-esque it was—not thinking about it too deeply, thinking it was just a one-off funny scene—only to go OH later, when ken is confronting barbie about that moment, and thinking, "that was actually done to set up some exploration into gender and society and equality, that's so neat!!!" but then the film goes... halfway with that, so as a result i'm left feeling... that's good? but not great. i don't know. after the barbies regain their independence and freedom, every time the camera pans to barbie looking uncomfortable, i was just? waiting for her to say something about the kens and how it would be better if they could all be equal, get kens their own individual mojo dojo casa houses to frolic in, etc., etc. but in the end it went back to ken and his personal feelings instead of... i suppose "the broader picture." and it's not a bad thing. i really love the convo barbie and ken had about needing to discover who they are individually, etc. because sharing shouldn't require you to sacrifice your own autonomy. but knowing it could've gone further than just that... it leaves me feeling wanting, to be honest. although, as i'm writing this, i'm also thinking it's not such a bad foundation to leave on, so maybe i'll warm to this part of the movie overall a bit more on a rewatch?

i will be frank here and say i'm not a fan of greta gerwig's monologues. it's just not my favorite thing because i'd rather have something shown to me than told to me. (it's a problem i have with aaron sorkin's writing, too, lol.) however, i do think it's important to be explicit about the difficulties women face in society, the unfair expectations, etc.—because people who don't live that reality really do need it spelled out to them, and, for the people who do live that reality, it's important and cathartic to hear it said out loud, unfiltered and unapologetic like that. so while it's not my favorite thing, i accept it for what it is, like i did in little women, and like i did in barbie. but it was kind of weird to me how that was how they deprogrammed the barbies? like the barbies are now living in an oppressed system, so the way to free them is for gloria to remind them how difficult it is to be a woman in that system? it just seemed weird to me... i think the idea here was something along the lines of: society's expectations for women are impossible to fulfill, so it's okay to fail, to be vulnerable; to free yourself of that expectation entirely—and so that's how the barbies are freed. but i guess i felt that concept was delivered by gloria in a really weird way? not the initial speech, but the ones she doles out to each barbie individually afterwards. although, in retrospect, maybe it's the editing (there are clips of dialogue within the montage). i'm not sure i followed the logic behind this 100% to be honest, so this is something i'll be revisiting on a rewatch.

this one is such a small thing, LOL. but since it's one of the final scenes, i think it also contributed to how i was left feeling empty after the movie ended. when ruth takes barbie's hands to show her what being real entails, she says something like, "i want you to know what you're getting into before you do this"—like a kind of warning. so my expectation here is that barbie will see ALL the degrees of the human experience—death, pain, sadness, cellulite—age! the ugly! but also happiness, love, joy, everything good! etc. but all the scenes were happy? all of them. there was not one depressing thing in that sequence. if i think about it now in retrospect, an argument i could make is that it was showing the beauty that comes with a transient existence? but if i think about this scene in comparison to one at the beginning of the film, when barbie is sitting at a bus stop and witnessing humans being human all around her—the latter is so much more powerful to me. like! the scene is already there! it happened!!! i think it would've been nice to do something with that first scene again, to book end things. i don't know... maybe barbie thinks about the scenes she saw at that bus stop again instead—all that she has experienced up to this point even—in a similar dreamy sequence and tells ruth, "no, it's okay. i think i know already."

or maybe just put that first scene in this part of the film instead? have barbie leave barbie world and return to the bus stop instead of the white set, and let the revelation come from the people and old lady there instead of ruth.

speaking of the bus stop, i was waiting for the old lady to make a reappearance? because i absolutely love that scene between her and barbie. if she and ruth were the same person, i think that would've satisfied me more. but they aren't so… i don't know, i just miss that bus stop lady; she's lovely.

sidenote: when a movie goes for a "capturing the human experience" sort of moment, i always think back to the theory of everything. i love love love the final scene of that film, where it's just a montage of events that happened but in reverse. the way it shows how all that pain, sorrow, joy, and love lead you here to where you are now—and isn't that beautiful? anyways. i think that was the degree of emotion i wanted from that scene between ruth and barbie, but, again, i was left feeling a bit hollow instead.

as for the film's final scene: i think... i would've preferred it to be a post-credits scene instead, lol. i don't mind ending on humor, but, coming after a scene that was supposed to be poignant, really took me out of it. this is also a scene i'm still sitting with because i'm not sure how i feel about it right now—i'm not even sure how to express those feelings yet either.

hm, i think that's all i wanted to say. i think my mom wants to watch it, too, so hopefully i can rewatch it soon. again, the movie was fun overall, it's just these issues were hard for me to ignore. i get it's a movie, and maybe it's not supposed to be that deep, but... listen, i'm not going to apologize for thinking about a movie, okay. in fact, i'm glad it made me think!!!

[fioras-resolve]

ace attorney series review

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: genuinely really good, but not just for story reasons. it's a really solid work of mystery adventure game design that still delivers on the original promise of ace attorney better than a lot of the most lauded games. and manfred still carries the most threatening presence of any prosecutor throughout the series

Justice for All: I think this is better than people say it is, i think it's fine for the game to be mostly episodic and focus on cases about just some guys rather than furthering The Plot, but i also can't deny that it has a lot of bad design habits that the series wouldn't overcome for a long time, specifically bullshit testimony puzzles that undercut the actual appeal to cross-examination. that said, it introduced us to the magatama interrogations, and still has the most compelling of those in the series.

Trials and Tribulations: this is of course a classic and an amazing resolution to the trilogy. 11 year old me had to physically go outside after the ending and process everything that just happened. but it's worth noting that i was consulting a walkthrough for the entire back half, because the bullshit testimony puzzles being so frequent meant i couldn't trust the game to be straightforward with me. it's better as a visual novel than as a game, and that's a real shame

Rise from the Ashes: incredibly solid all around, definitely my favorite of the original trilogy and also just some of the best ace attorney the series has seen? it's not just that 10 year old me saw all of the forensic gimmick and thought "wow, cool toy!" it's that it genuinely expands the scope of what ace attorney can be. it's not just that i can view objects in 3D, but that examining these things reveals new information, or just gives Phoenix and Ema an excuse to banter. it's not just that spraying luminol is fun, but that you can spray it anywhere, and find bloodstains in unexpected places that have nothing to do with the case but are just funny or flesh out the world. it's an ambitious case that makes good on all that ambition.

Apollo Justice: this game takes rise from the ashes and removes everything i liked about it. look, people have talked about this game to death. the basic complaints i have are 1) the bracelet mechanic sucks and relies on either guesswork or a walkthrough, 2) the 3d evidence examination has lost all of its charm in favor of raw function, 3) there's a large sense in both the minigames and the fact everybody else already knows what's going on, that you're just going through the motions of doing what the writer wants you to. like, it sucks, for sure, i don't like it. BUT, it was at least a setup for what could've been a great second trilogy. it takes ace attorney into a new direction that could have promising! shame the rest of the trilogy didn't follow up on it.

Investigations: so like, gonna be honest, i don't remember a fucking thing that happens in that game, and i only played it a couple years ago. the actual plot slid off of me. but the characters left an incredibly solid impression. i'm probably never going to forget tyrell badd, shi-long lang, calisto yew, and especially kay faraday. they're such cool characters, and i love the energy of the game, even though it's basically junk food entertainment. it's a great time the whole way through, and i especially like how it deliberately removes testimony puzzles in the way that every rebuttal has to end with presenting evidence. but i think this also marks the point where the series stopped living rent-free in my mind. i have strong memories of the original trilogy, and apollo justice, but from here on out i think the series just stopped leaving as much of an impact on me.

Investigations 2: i played this game in high school when the translation was finally done, and it was cool as hell. it escalated the stakes of the series to something i'd never seen before, and it takes a genuinely darker turn that i really liked at the time. it's incredibly solid as a game, but my memory just isn't what it used to be. i should play that game again sometime, it was really refreshing to see these familiar characters again.

Professor Layton Crossover: it's been a while since i played this one, i had a pretty good time with it. i like both of the games it crosses over, and i like the dynamics between its main characters, but i also think the court sections rely way too much on pressing leading to there basically being no tension. i was honestly disappointed in shu takumi for writing the game this way. it feels like he's just too enamored with fun mechanic ideas, and doesn't consider how it will feel to play them. but it's still a really nice court drama, and what really makes it for me is the presentation. the use of animation, music, voice acting, etc all creates a compelling drama that feels elevated above much of the series. like, footfalls of turnabout is one of my favorite songs in the series, because no other game in the series has a song that does what it does for the story. i would absolutely recommend this game if you wanna see how to use music to make a drama more compelling.

Dual Destinies: a cowardly game, seemingly made in response to people who didn't like apollo justice, choosing to walk back everything interesting it did. i think it's a pretty entertaining mystery procedural, like each case is a compelling story. it just doesn't make an impact like the original trilogy did, and that's a real shame. i will say that i've forgotten how well this game uses 3D for its character animation. like yeah, the mouth flaps would be better as sprites, but there's a lot of really nice or funny animation that would have been a pain in the ass to do in sprites, like ted tonate dis/reassembling a bomb, scuttlebutt pushing a tabloid out of her little box, or just cosmos spinning in his segway. like, it's really nice.

Spirit of Justice: this game was fine. i think i appreciate it because it kind of makes an aesthetic out of having no identity anymore. like, there's just too many characters, settings, plot threads, and mechanics for any of it to cohesive, so instead it's all sectioned off. this part is in the style of the original trilogy, this part features athena, and the choice to have the entire last case from apollo's perspective is a bold one! wouldn't have been so bold if this was actually just The Apollo Justice Trilogy, but nonetheless! i think for the cowardly direction this series took, this was the best direction they could've gone with it. but it's also a jumped shark, and that's really sad.

Great Ace Attorney 1+2: i can't really appreciate it on its own, because it's just so wrapped up in the context of the rest of the series. the best story beats mostly feel like shu takumi chasing old glory, the summation examination feels like it's trying and succeeding to one-up the main series, like "look, i can do jury trials, why didn't you?" it uses 3D evidence examination in a way that actually fleshes out the story, but it keeps doing the thing where it thinks it's clever by making you check the other side of a piece of evidence. like wouldn't it be funny if you had this mechanic in turnabout sisters? sigh anyway, it's pretty good, but i feel like i just can't like it as much as modern aa fans do because i've just, been here the whole time.

[np5enkidu]

so i finally read lb6

kinoko nasu, you've done it again. i loved it. i had so much fun, i almost wished it didn't have to end just yet. after olympus turned out a bit more disappointingly than i had expected, and after heiankyo had picked up the pace a little bit, i'm really happy that this chapter had such an impact for me.

and now it's over, for better or worse. but i had fun and i wanted to write down some thoughts.

spoilers for the whole chapter, but here's some general thoughts and scattered review;

visual novel properties;

really, really good. the backgrounds, ost and animation effects. the mors curse effect was eerie and i liked all of the animated scenes in the story. one thing that could've been improved on was that there could've been a few more npc fairy variants as some scenes had the same npc art with dialogue. same with the roman and french human soldiers. the ost callbacks (fuyuki ost for grímr appearance, bb channel - dark mix - for murian torturing the boys) were fun.

the ost;

bangers. really great. i loved the second map theme a lot and the battle osts were great (wish i heard more of baobhan siths, rip queen). thematically appropriate, memorable, leaving lasting impression.

battle content;

mob battles were fine, they didn't feel unnecessary or too out of place, except the nightly tamamocat appearances.

forced supports were apparently a pretty disliked part about this chapter, and while i don't think of it as that big of an issue, i can see why people would think that.

there were some odd choices (for example, da vinci+artoria as forced support against baobhan sith when every character was present) and i think most mob battles could've been without those supports. as someone who always tries to max out bond, it was a bit frustrating, but also allowed me to play more 5-stars with the cost being lower. though i think super kyrielight mash should give the 20% bond bonus if she's forced support, no reason not to.

overall, the forced supports didn't hinder me much, and i like artoria presence in the battles as you see her growth through the story.

the difficulty was as expected, nothing too dissimilar from olympus. my least fave boss fight was morgans, it was just frustrating spam and didn't feel challenging the same way the others did. albion was probably one of my fave ones, i liked the mechanic.

story;

the fucking. fairies.

i mean, i loved the story and the setup. the slowly unveiling horror of britain, the fragmented narrative split between two perspectives, the side narrative of love.

the story really hammered in the pain of being a viewer and a bystander, how you can't change it no matter how much you'd want to. i really ended up liking morgan more than i would've assumed, and the nature of death was so cruel. because it felt preventable, unnecessary, like it was one misstep that caused these faeries to lose all faith.

and the fairies. what is there to say.

the most selfish, the most pure, the most obstinate, the most sinful, lacking in understanding, love, reading comprehension.

it'd be easy to hate them, but there's also faeries who tried to do the right thing, tried to atone and tried to change, so i find it challenging to dismiss all of them.

at first i thought morgan was just cold by nature, but she really didn't have a choice when it came to her subjects. they could've never understood her, and she did so much for them.

she was also fairy-like with her ways of trying to imitate the britain and camelot of proper human history, even when it was at odds with the fairy britain by nature.

there's a twisted satisfaction of seeing someone defy their fate and take matters into their own hands after the correct path causes so much grief. it doesn't have to be this way, is true but unfortunately it devolved into it can't be stay this way.

i also, of course, loved artoria caster. getting to know her and understand her. it's been said before, but seeing the cowardly, weak, anxious, hardworking, airheaded, selfless artoria push through. despite everything, the noise, the winter, the autumn, the knowledge of what's at the end. it's heartbreaking, it's delightful, it's everything.

she was ready to give up at any moment, she really didn't believe in herself, she was thinking about running away. compared phh artoria who shouldered all of the worries of her countrymen despite it leading to ruin, artoria caster feels so humanly relatable. unsure of anything, her own motivations, the legibility of the prophecy, she struggles on until she's ready to do what's expected of her. and artoria caster does it, despite how hard and painful it is, she's quick to cheer up after falling down.

and then she's gone. you can never really meet her, the one you travelled with, the one who was hanging onto one ridiculous hope. it's painful, yet joyful, she's free of suffering but we can never meet again.

and it's the kind of closure i think a lot of previous lostbelt acquaintances have been missing, the finality of it all. even if you summon the servant artoria caster, she's not coming back. and that's really wonderful. for her.

[mew-ya]

UGGH Maren maren I'm so excited to read this let me tell you. Going to give my play-by-play commentary.

So first off, I know I already gave some feedback on this cus I saw it in its early stages, but I just love this whole setup/vibe for young Maren. It feels very in-character for him to be the giant pokey dude with no one around him.

PUTTING OUT YOUR CIGARETTE ON HIM IS SO FUNNY OMFG and you know he'd be kinda in to that anyway from someone he's attracted to. also very fitting for him to be excited about a terrible pretzel, then get three of them.

"slightly garbled by his full mouth, which he does not hesitate to speak through" oh my god why is this so hot Maren I hate you. Also him insulting a band but also having a patch of it on his vest HES LITERALLY SO RELATABLE.

The lighter scene made me go OOHHH the SIZE DIFFERENCE I'm hooting and hollering. I hate/love how much I can relate to this reader lmao, I was the same way when I was in college--unable to do anything even if my mom couldn't even see it but desperately wishing I could just be myself. I wasn't as rebellious as them though, but god I wish I could've been.

The visual of sitting on Maren's flexed arm during a concert is truly adorable. Absolutely some shit he'd pull--if was sweatin he would never admit it haha. I enjoyed the bits of them enjoying the concert together, time spent together at a concert really feels like a different breed. Wish I'd been able to go to more when I was younger! The mosh scene was great too, reader kind of half trying to impress Maren but also just being genuinely curious and wanting to do it!!

Loved the detail of Maren finding perfect holes in reader's argument and them just being like WAIT. HES RIGHT? FUCK. Very Maren lmao, like I'd want to talk to him about my problems but I also think he'd make me cry (in a good way)

Him spreading the information about the band is so DGKHDFG tiny lil Maren and then the entire crowd rioting cus reader set them off is such a fun idea!! I can't help but go into panic mode in my own brain because I know how often this sort of thing leads to deaths by trample but I liek to think that the bigger guys here were very conscious of where they were walking. And LMAO of course Maren would've stolen a guitar, what a story it'd have now. I haven't really come up with any stories for where he got his banjo or guitar, this is makin me wanna cook up some ideas. Just like "Where'd you get that black guitar?" "Stole it" what." "From a pedo" "…what" "Stole it from a pedo" "…ok"

Oh good lord getting taught to play guitar IN HIS LAP IM SCREAMING thats so good…

I ended up reading the next bits really fast because they're super hot lol the kiss…the thigh…the dry humping size difference stuff <3 My shit!! I love the "just let me sit on you and you can get smaller and we can figure out the size" and then the riding him and him being like "ok my turn" DFKGHDFG RARRGH you got him so good!! I loved every moment of this fic, genuinely thank you so much for taking your valuable time and spending it writing my boy. This was such a fun and hot read!

i also loved the final bits -- i think the bittersweetness of it is awfully fitting for him, and the obvious loneliness hes experiencing. hes someone who spent most of his life not really being a consistent part of others lives aside from his pirate crew. kata was such a change for him. i'm interested to think of how this reader might react to seeing his wanted poster...and probably how amused they'd be many years later to find that he ends up marrying Katakuri, a man who is similar to reader but Worse(tm)

it makes me want to make more work of young maren & his interactions with the world since his life didn't really revolve around Katakuri/WCI shenaningans until later. (he did technically meet Kata when he was 28 but his memory gets wiped so not counting it)

"The Fall of Ideals"

Character: Maren (young adult version)

Reader: AFAB

Word Count: 11.3k

CW: recreational drug use, explicit N.SFW content, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, size difference/size kink

Summary: Going to the Riptide Rock Festival instead of studying for your exam was one bad decision. A chance encounter with a stranger leads you to making several more.

Ao3 Link

[Happy Birthday @mewiyev! I swear I'm normal about Maren (hides word count) >.> In all seriousness, I truly adore this amazing character that you've created and I hope that shines through in this gift! Thank you for sharing him with the world!]

“This next song has never been heard before!” The lead singer of Violincense announces into the mic, prompting screams of excitement from the crowd. “We’re debuting it here at Riptide, the single for our next album–we present to you, Smokescream!”

The sound drifts from afar as you hurry back toward the crowd, having left to throw away your empty cup between songs. A rookie mistake, you soon realized, as the crowd closed up behind you, and now you were having trouble penetrating the throng of bodies. Had you any experience with these things, you would have just held onto the damn cup. Now you’re going to miss getting a good view of the band for what is possibly history in the making. You know Violincense was on the cusp of making it big, and here was your chance to watch it happen, front and center.

The crowd had formed itself into groups roughly based on size, with the tallest people closer to the back and sides. Some people of average height opted to stay close to their big friends, often sitting on their shoulders. One especially big man even wore some kind of shoulder-mounted table, carrying six of his friends. You can't help but feel a little jealous as you squeeze past them. You’re here alone, after all.

“S’cuse me…” you mumble, feeling out of place. Everyone else was dressed in band shirts and worn jackets, spiked bracelets and collars and chokers. In comparison, you look plain, but even if the trip to this venue hadn’t been last minute, you would’ve had nothing to wear anyway. It wasn’t your wisest choice to abandon studying for your big upcoming exam and blow all your food money on tickets, travel, and board for a rock festival. But now that you're here, that all seems like minor worries, a drop in the bucket of life. Who knows when you would get to do something like this again?

The Riptide Rock Fest was one of the biggest rock festivals on the Grand Line. Sporting multiple stages across the grounds and a myriad of different tents, it was a three-day haven to all fans of rock music genres. Each day had one big headliner show in the evening, with lesser-known bands filling the side stages throughout the day. It was currently the second day of the festival, and Violincense was one of the small bands you had been especially excited for, so you were eager to get back to a good spot before they started.

Alas, you were still stuck behind a wall of taller folk, unable to see the stage. The sound of drumsticks striking each other sounded as the band counted off, before a heavy guitar riff started the song. You paused to take it in, then shook your head and kept anxiously making your way along the perimeter of bodies, unable to find your way in and too polite to push through.

Finally, you spot an opening: closer to the middle and slightly off to the side, there's a little bit of space. The only person there is one of the big people, some guy that has to be at least fifteen feet tall. For some reason, he's being given a wide berth by those around him, but you don’t give it any thought as you dart for that spot before it gets taken. 

As you get closer, you see the potential reason people are leaving him be: rows of large, menacing spines stick out of his back through his clothes. However, those spines are far too high up to be a danger to you, so you step into place next to him and are at last able to get a decent view of the stage. Up close, the man is even more massive–not just tall, but thick-bodied and muscular, his burly arms alone bigger than you are. You decide to just avoid eye contact and return your focus to the show.

Smokescream, like all of Violincense’s music, sucks you right in from the start. Hearing the band live is a completely different experience. Sure, a studio recording could let a band trim off the imperfections in the sound, but it isn’t the same. This was how music was meant to be heard, you think. The fast-paced, harmonic chords strike you personally, heavy drums feeling like they’re replacing your heartbeat. Swept up in the music,  you’re so invested you don’t notice that the huge man is staring at you until halfway through the song, when you glance and accidentally meet his eye.

You stare back for a moment, stunned. He’s astonishingly handsome, if not a bit intimidating; a broad jaw and strong nose that balanced his features well, long, reddish brown hair that matches the color of his spines, a simple goatee, and gauged ears. He's wearing a black leather vest covered in various patches, but no shirt, showing off his husky build, a pair of faded green cargo shorts, and platform boots adorned in belts. His light skin sports a fair share of bruises and he's a bit scuffed up, likely from a mosh pit. Unlike you, he looks entirely in his element. 

The man watched you with a sour, unimpressed look, eyes slightly narrowed. Suddenly self-conscious, you look away, distracting yourself by pulling out one of the spliffs you had rolled earlier from your pocket and lighting it. After a few hits, you’re able to relax a little more, turning your focus back to the stage. You don’t think about the man until the next song comes to a close, the crowd cheering on the tail end of the final notes, when he leans over slightly in your direction.

“Do you need something?” he asks, sounding annoyed.

It wasn’t just his spines that kept others away. You’re abruptly aware of the prickly energy he’s giving off, his tone as guarded as his body language. Still, you have no idea what he’s talking about, so you just give him a look of confusion in response.

“What are you doing here?” he presses.

You look over at the band, then back up at him. “...Is that a trick question?”

“I mean here, in this spot.” He points at the ground. “Do you normally make a habit of approaching strange men?”

“You talked to me first,” you point out, pulling the cig from your mouth.

“Everyone else got the damn hint,” he says gruffly.

“I’m too short to care about the spines,” you say, wondering what his problem is. “And anyway, I wasn’t aware you owned this section.”

He leans forward a bit more, towering over your space. “It ain’t the spines you gotta worry about, small fry.”

“What are you gonna do? Bite me?”

“That’s right.” He smiles, showing off pointed teeth. It's not a friendly smile, but it looks good on him anyway, though it makes you uncertain–he really is enormous, easily a threat to someone your size.

Maybe it’s because you’re in a new place, already out of your comfort zone. Maybe it’s the few beers already in you at that point. But instead of giving him space like a sane person would, you instead respond, “don’t threaten me with a good time.”

That makes him smile even wider, leaning forward just a bit more. “I’m part Fish-man, you know. My teeth are razor sharp.”

“Even better.”

He laughs, his face lighting up in his amusement. You feel your face get warm and quickly stick the cig back in your mouth before you say something else embarrassing. He has a nice laugh.

The band announces that they are playing their last song of the set. Neither you nor your neighbor speak for the entirety of it. Either he likes the music too much to bother you, or he decided you were alright after all; regardless, he leaves you alone until the song is over. After the cheering of the crowd dies down, he turns back to you.

“I gotta say, I didn’t expect that coming from you.”

You rub the back of your neck, distinctly aware how plain you look. “I know I’m not dressed for a concert. I don’t really own any band shirts.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not allowed.”

“Not allowed?” He suddenly looks uncomfortable. “Are you a teenager?”

“Nope. Just a college student with a ruthlessly strict mother.”

“She sounds like a bitch.”

“Don’t call my mom a bitch,” you snap, all playfulness gone.

He isn’t thwarted even slightly, lip curling into a sneer. Reaching out with one giant hand, he pokes you in the chest, easily making you stumble back and imposing the difference in your strength. “What are you gonna do about it, small fry?”

Maybe it’s just your imagination, but you could have sworn he had gotten bigger. You falter for a second, shocked that he would get physical and a bit intimidated. Then you get mad. If he’s going to be a cunt, you would be a cunt right back.

You stub out your spliff on his finger, hearing it sizzle. The man jerks his hand back with a yelp. “Ow! Fuck!”

“I'm not gonna let you push me around,” you bluff, pretending to be braver than you are. Jerks usually prefer easy targets, but there's still a chance he might get aggressive. You bare your teeth and pray he's all talk. “We're surrounded by people. Try me.”

“Are you stupid?” he growls, cradling his burned hand. “You could get seriously hurt, messing with guys like me. Sheesh…and you still haven’t taken the hint.” He grumbles, sticking his finger into his mouth, but he does not do anything else, and you deflate a little in relief.

Violincense announces that they're playing an encore, and the crowd roars as they launch into a familiar track–one of their most popular songs, Nightingales.

Attempting to ignore your surly neighbor, you close your eyes to really take in your favorite part of the song. Then you stare at the stage intensely, trying to burn the image of the band playing it into your memory. As it comes to a close, you glance at the huge man again. He’s closed his eyes, too, a serene look on his face as he listens. Right then, you feel bad for him–he just wants to enjoy the music in peace, like you. Maybe you overreacted.

“I’m sorry,” you tell him once the music stops.

“Whatever,” he spits, then mumbles, “you must be lonely, talking to me.”

“Yeah, I am,” you shrug. “But I’d bet you are, too. I mean, have you heard these lyrics?”

He looks surprised that you’d admit it so casually. Then he huffs, looking away. “I know em’ by heart.”

The crowd starts to move around you as the band packs up their things. You stick your hands in your pockets, feeling awkward. “Hey, uh, look… I’m sorry I did that. Really. I’ll make it up to you,” you said. “Want a pretzel or something? I’ll buy.”

The man visibly perks up, giving you another look of surprise. He’s kind of cute like this…

“They’re stale and oversalted,” you say enticingly, offering a hesitant smile. “But the cheese dip is…well, it also sucks, but at least it’s hot.”

“Fuck yeah,” the man grins from ear to ear. “I won’t say no to free food.”

You both head to the food tents, introducing yourselves on the way. You learned his name was Maren–“just Maren,” as he said after you gave him your last name. A lot of the patches on his vest were of bands you liked, so you were able to find some common ground despite the rough start.

You ended up buying Maren three soft pretzel sticks, just because he was so much larger–it only seemed fair. His attitude did a complete 360 at that, thrilled at the gesture.

“Thanks,” he says, and you nod, pulling out a program flier to see where the next band you wanted to watch would play. Maren peers over your shoulder as he shoves a cheese-slathered pretzel stick into his mouth. “Where ya headed next?”

“South stage,” you replied. “Shitty Kitties is playing soon.”

“Hm,” his voice is slightly garbled by his full mouth, which he does not hesitate to speak through, “Shitty Kitties? Kinda gimmicky, don’t ya think?”

“They're cool! The lead singer is a puma zoan. He transforms his vocal chords to do these crazy growls.”

“Exactly. A gimmick, not real skill.”

“Who cares how he does it, so long as it sounds good?”

“He leans on it too much. He can’t sing for shit, small fry.”

“Small fry,” you echoe, “is that a Fish-man thing?”

“Because of your shirt,” Maren points. You’re wearing a graphic tee that has cartoon french fries and tater tots, engaged in a shootout and bleeding ketchup.

“This my favorite shirt,” you say defensively.

“You have dorky taste.”

“Why do you think I’m talking to you?”

Maren grins. “Watch yourself, sweetheart. I haven’t decided if I’m going to eat you yet.” Despite his words, he’s less intimidating with a bit of cheese sauce smeared on his mouth.

“There you go again, threatening me with a good time,” you joke.

He smiles back, and your stomach does a weird little flip. For being kind of a jerk, he really is good-looking. Still, it’s probably in your best interests to wish him well and part ways here.

“Wanna go to the south stage together?” Maren asks.

“Yes,” you immediately reply.

You only made it to the Riptide Rock Fest by doing what you weren’t supposed to–what was one more bad decision?

Maren stuffs the rest of the food into his face, finishing it in two huge bites, and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. You stare as he licks the sauce off his hand, following the trailing of his tongue. He meets your eyes as he does, grinning to himself when you break eye contact to look away and clear your throat.

“What is it, sweetheart? See something you like?” he teases.

“No–I wasn’t–you’re just messy,” you stammer, failing to save face. Trying to distract him, you point up at his vest. “Hey, isn’t that a Shitty Kitties patch? What gives?”

Maren looks a bit embarrassed. “That was from years ago. I’ve had this jacket for a long time–hey, don’t change the subject, now.”

Caught red-handed and losing your buzz, you start to walk away, feeling your usual shyness resurfacing now that the intoxication is wearing off. Maren follows you, hooking his thumbs into his pockets and chatting as you walk. He has no trouble making conversation, and picks up the slack where you falter. You find it easy to talk to him, and the more you talk, the more you want to know more about him. However, he dodges questions relating to himself, either outright ignoring them or just deflecting with more questions. By the time you make it to the south stage, you feel like you're talking about yourself too much, but he seems to prefer it that way.

“So where are your friends at?” Maren asks, as if it would be unthinkable for you to have come by yourself.

“Where are yours?” you try.

“Came alone.” It was the only direct answer from him in the last twenty minutes.

“Me too.”

“What, your friends don’t like rock?”

You shift from foot to foot, unsure how to respond in a way that doesn’t make you sound like a complete loser. “I don’t, uh… I don’t have any friends,” you admit. “Not where I live, anyway. After I graduated high school, mom moved us halfway around the world. Relocated to the best college she could find. I haven’t made any new friends since. Most students at that university are the entitled, wealthy type.”

“And you’re not?” Maren teases lightly.

You wrinkle your nose. “I got a full ride through scholarships.”

“Sure, sure,” he grins when you make a face at him, enjoying riling you up, “so you’re the nerdy type of smart! I knew it.” 

You doubt he really knew it, and are starting to wonder if he’s flirting with you. He seems to like your company, anyway. Oh, shit, is he flirting with you? 

Suddenly uncertain, you went for the only distraction you could think of, digging into your pocket for another pre-rolled spliff. “If I was actually smart,” you say, “I wouldn’t be here. I should be studying for this huge exam, but…” you trail off.

“But…?” Maren prompts.

“I felt like if I looked at one more book, I’d completely lose it.” You pat your pocket to search for your lighter. “All I ever do is study. I’m sick of it! I had to do something else or I’d snap. And I’ve always wanted to go to a concert–ugh, where the fuck is my lighter?”

Maren pulls a lighter from one of the many pockets on his shorts. “Here,” he says, crouching down low in front of you. You reach to accept the lighter from him, but he gently bats your hand away and instead holds the lighter up to your mouth. His hands are so large compared to the tiny spliff that he has to lean in close and focus, his tongue sticking out slightly. Carefully, he lights the spliff, his face filling your vision, and you find yourself staring again. The warmth from the lighter’s flame almost doesn’t register over your own heated cheeks.

“There we go,” he says, eyes darting up from the lighter to meet your own gaze. You glance away, the eye contact a bit much for you sober, and when you look back, he’s still leaning close, now smiling big. “Something wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” you reply quickly. “You, uh, want a drag?”

“Depends. What’s in it?”

“Just weed and tobacco.”

“Hell yeah, hand it over.” 

You hand him the spliff, and he takes a deep drag, nodding to himself in approval. “This is good shit. You’re not as straight-laced as you seem, huh? Guess momma doesn’t know about this.”

“I have special hiding places for it,” you say. “No matter how much she digs through my shit, she won’t find it.”

“Sounds like you need to live on campus.” Maren passes the spliff back.

“I do,” you say bluntly, taking a drag and exhaling in a sigh. “She searches my things when she visits.”

“Yeesh. Why do you defend her?”

It’s not as simple as Maren makes it sound, and you aren’t sure how to put that into words. Luckily, before you can think of an answer, a familiar, high-pitched snarl echoes over the speakers. You look to the stage as the crowd cheers, but the view is completely obscured by other concert goers closer to Maren’s size. If you want to actually see Shitty Kitties, you’ll have to part ways and head up further to the “smalls” section of the crowd.

“Aw, hell. I guess I gotta go,” you say reluctantly.

“Wait!” Maren shouts to be heard over the lead singer’s introduction. “You can sit on my shoulder!”

“You’re full of spikes!” you shout back.

Maren pauses, thinking for a second. “No big deal! Here, sit on my arm!” He flexes one burly arm, patting it. “No spines and a perfect view of the stage! Deluxe seating, compliments of Maren. Whaddaya say?”

You blink, flattered at the offer but not wanting to impose. “But…won’t you get tired?”

“Nope!” Maren flexes his arm further, showing off his impressive muscles and grinning proudly.

He doesn't want you to leave, you realize. The thought gives you butterflies in your stomach that the spliff doesn't help to calm. Maren is roguishly attractive and good company, and he wants you around–why not accept?

“Alright,” you nod. “How do I get up theRE–!”

The moment you consent, Maren picks you up, wrapping his hands around your hips and hoisting you onto his upper arm as your words turn into a cry of surprise. Suddenly fourteen feet off the ground, you grip the fabric of his vest tightly, tucking your legs under his arm to hold on.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall,” Maren says cheerfully, patting your shoulder with his upheld hand.

You giggle nervously. From up here, you can see above the heads of the taller people and have an excellent view of the stage. Just in time, too, as the lead singer of Shitty Kitties finishes hyping up the crowd and begins counting down to their first song of the set.

“One, two, three!” The lead singer yells, then snarls into the mic.

“Oh! Oh!!” you exclaim. “This is Blightmare!”

Maren grins at your excitement. He nods along to the music, careful not to move you too much, and you pass the spliff back and forth as you enjoy the song. Blightmare was an old cult classic, one of your favorites. Once it hits the main verse, you're far too enthralled to not scream out the lyrics–hell, everyone else is.

“ROWR! I’m the wrong kinda crowd / I’m the devil in the day / and I’m no good for you / but you like it that way!”

You glance at Maren to see that he’s singing along, too. You can’t hear him, much less yourself, but you both grin at each other as you sing. The high of the spliff compounds the intoxicating feeling of the music, until you wrap one arm around Maren’s upheld one so you can steady yourself while headbanging.

“Fuck yeah!” Maren shouts, throwing devil horns up with his free hand. The both of you get swallowed up by the energy of your surroundings, screaming along song lyrics and pumping your fists for every song that plays. The set concludes what feels like far too early, and people begin to move around the two of you as they make their way to other stages.

“That was amazing!” you laugh, exhilarated. 

“It was pretty cute, hearing you try to growl like the lead singer,” Maren says.

Your chest tightens in a good way, and you giggle nervously, shaking your head. “My vocal chords will regret that tomorrow. But fuck it, right?”

“That’s right!”

“I didn’t know this would be so much fun! I’m so glad I came!”

“Is this your first time?” Maren asks, crouching down so he can let you off him.

“Yep. First concert ever.” You land and get your bearings, patting down your jeans. “There are lots of things I’ve missed out on because all my time was spent studying. Morning drills before class, prep school after, then homework in the evening.”

“Why don’t you just quit?” Maren asks like it’s obvious, and you balk at him.

“What? I can’t do that.”

“Sure you can. It sucks, you clearly don’t like it. So quit.”

“You don’t understand,” you explain. “Mom gave up everything to get me here. We were dirt poor. She would even skip meals to make sure I was fed. She worked hard to give me this opportunity! I can’t just throw that away.”

Maren doesn't look convinced, but he doesn’t argue, either, merely shrugging. “Well, alright. Where ya wanna go next?”

You look down to hide your smile, thrilled that he wants to keep hanging out with you. Pulling out the flier, you squint at it. “A band called ‘M-K’ is going to play on this stage. What’s ‘M-K?’”

“Monochrome Kaleidoscope.”

“Oh. Well, they’re up next. And on the east stage, there’s Taka Tora Batta… and BB Thunder on the north. They should all finish around the same time, right before the headliner plays on the center stage.”

The headliner for the second day was Preyer, a band with a self-described “carnivore gothic” theme that was rapidly growing in popularity. Maren hadn’t brought them up at all yet, which was surprising–they seemed to be right up his alley, considering his taste in other bands.

“I don’t have a preference either way–I’m good with whatever,” he says.

“Me too. Why don’t we stay here, then?” you suggest. “We can move up closer and get a better spot in the crowd. If we go stand right at the border between the large and small section, you won’t have to hold me up the whole time.”

“I don’t mind,” Maren winks, making you flush warm, “but alright. Sounds like a plan.”

You feel far more at ease walking through the crowds with Maren at your side. Concerts are supposed to be a group event in the first place, and with such an open venue, you had some concerns about being by yourself. But even other big people would think twice before starting a fight with Maren, which was all the more reason you should have never gambled on ticking him off earlier. A stupid risk, but in a weird way, the action seemed to gain his respect–and now that you had each other to hang out with, you’d never been happier in making such a string of poor decisions.

You and Maren find the good spot you had mentioned earlier, the people behind you all larger like him, and the people in front of you average-sized. Maren opts to sit down, as he’s still tall enough from there to see over the “shorties,” as he calls them. You, on the other hand, can't sit without losing sight of the stage, so you lean against him instead, mindful of the spikes.

Monochrome Kaleidoscope was a band that seems to be a mix of electronic and jam rock subgenres. They switch off between playing songs from their newest album, Shatterstatic, and having jam sessions right there on stage, improvising for five minute segments. The drums and synth players decide on a beat and background, and the rest of the musicians jump in with their instruments one at a time. You've never seen anything like it before, and let Maren know as much in between songs.

“Oh, yeah, M-K’s great.” He gives you a lazy grin. “I need to see if their merch table is selling patches later. Don’t have theirs yet.”

“If you hold our spot, I’ll go look for you,” you offer.

“Alright! Thanks, sweetheart.”

You flush warm and quickly excuse yourself before your flustering becomes obvious. As you weave through the “smalls” section, you couldn’t stop smiling to yourself. Maren is the last person you’d ever expect yourself to crush on. A small voice in the back of your mind tells you not to get too smitten, to keep your wits about you. You have only known Maren for a few hours, and he didn’t want to talk about himself. Maybe there was a reason for that, and that reason could have been a dangerous one. But he liked your company. And you craved the attention, truth be told. You never realized how starved you’d been for it.

The merch table was an assortment of stickers, buttons, patches, guitar picks, vinyls, and even some pricey tone dials. All of them had black-and-white designs around the band’s logo. Your hand hovered above the patches. For a moment, you considered getting two. But you didn’t have anything to put it on, and if your mother found it, she would likely throw a fit. The thought brought you out of your high somewhat  After tomorrow, you’d go back to your regular life. Back to the mundane rigors of academia and arithmetic.

There was no doubt this was the only time you’d get to hang with Maren. He’d eventually go back to whatever island he was from–hell, he might have even been a pirate (a scary thought,) in which case there was a slim chance you would ever see him again. You clenched your fists as you decided, right then and there: this weekend was your only chance to try something new. So what if he was literally rough around the edges? So what if you’d regret it later? You were far more afraid of the regret you’d feel if you didn’t take advantage of this opportunity.

Maren might only be your friend for a day, but that was one day more than you had in years. With that in mind, you went ahead and purchased a patch for him, and a guitar pick for yourself. You didn’t know how to play guitar, but the pick would be an easy-to-hide memento. 

When you returned, two songs had passed, and Maren was standing, looking far more scuffed up than when you’d left him, his hair all messy and a new rip in his pants.

“Woah, are you okay?” you ask, reaching up to touch his forearm, where a fresh bruise is forming.

“Yep. A mosh pit formed behind me, so I joined in,” he replies, letting you examine his arm. “So did they sell patches over there?”

“Yeah! Here,” you take the patch out of your bag and hold it out to him.

Maren’s eyes go wide. “You–you didn’t have to buy me one.”

You shrug. “I, uh…I wanted to. No big deal.”

He looks genuinely taken aback, a faint dusting of pink contrasting with his freckles. Then he smiles big. “Aw, thanks, babe. That’s real sweet of you.”

You’re already flustered from the pet name, so when he reaches up to brush your cheek affectionately, your brain nearly short-circuits. Face burning, you deftly avoid his gaze, staring at his arm and changing the subject.

“That looks painful,” you say, tracing the edge of the bruise.

“Nah, it’s nothing. It was fun. You should try it!”

“Moshing?” you blink at him, incredulous. “No way. I mean, me?”

“Why not? You can start one up in the ‘smalls’ section. I know you shrimps need to get out your terrier energy.”

“Wha–hey!” you laugh, making Maren grin.

“I’m serious. You said this is your first concert, right? Trying new things is good for you.”

You’re not sure what part of knocking into other people is good for you, but for some reason, you feel yourself drawn to the idea. You shouldn’t be, but what if this was the only concert you’d ever get to attend? And what is it about Maren that makes him so convincing? He’s not even pressuring you, not really. You just want to look cool in front of him, despite the fact he probably thinks you're a total dork. You want him to like you so bad, but clearly he already does, so why are you considering this?

Maren sees you looking out over the crowd hesitantly, and raises a thick finger to point. “See those people down by the southwest row? The ones jumping up and down? They look primed for it. All you have to do is scurry over there and give them a little push.”

You bite your lip. “Just like that?”

“Just like that,” he nods. “Don’t shove people who look like they don’t want to be involved, and don’t use brute force on anyone smaller than you. Help up anyone you see on the ground. Other than that, go nuts.”

You take a deep breath. “Okay…”

Maren salutes you as you head forth. You walk a little quicker, gradually picking up your pace. When you reach the aforementioned group, you're at a brisk jog, and, feeling a bit nuts, you shove into the most energetic looking guy there. 

He stumbles slightly, looking surprised. You freeze.

Suddenly you're shoved from the side by a random girl. She shouts something at the group as you recover, and then the man you shoved comes back and pushes into her. There's more yelling from the group, and then four of them start throwing themselves into the crowd around them. Pulse racing, you collect yourself and join in, running at the nearest person.

The lead singer shouts and points at your section of the crowd. The guitarist jumps in, shredding an improvised solo like a crazy man. Suddenly the area around you seems to erupt, your small group becoming a massive, frenzied pit of at least 30 people. You get jabbed with elbows and shoved into bodies, never knowing where the next impact is going to come from, but your adrenaline is pumping like crazy and you don't want to stop. 

A particularly hard shove sends you off your feet. You hit the ground and tense, expecting to get trampled, but multiple hands come out of nowhere, lifting you back onto your feet. You pause, get bumped into, and resume throwing yourself into the swarm. 

You get knocked down several more times, but every time, hands reach out from the crowd like magic and pull you back up. It's only after you're out of breath and hurting that you decide to call it quits, making your way to the edge of the mosh pit, through the crowd, and back to Maren.

“Ahh!” you inform him, overcome with adrenaline. It feels like you just got off a roller coaster. “I–I did it!”

“You were like a little tornado,” Maren chuckles. “How was it?”

“Fun!” you shout. Your body hurts in various places, and you're banged up and bruised, but grinning like a maniac.

“Attagirl!” He holds out his fist to you, and you punch it.

It takes you a bit to catch your breath. You lean against Maren in the meantime, trying not to smile when he loops his arm around your hips.

“It looks like they have so much fun playing,” you say after MK finishes their last song. “I’ve always wanted to learn to play the guitar.”

“Why don’t you–wait, let me guess: you’re not allowed?” Maren raises both brows pityingly, and you lightly punch his arm.

“I just haven’t had the free time.”

“I could teach you, if I had a guitar,” he says, then pretends like he’s thinking hard, rubbing his goatee. “Tell you what. You sneak backstage and steal a guitar, and I’ll teach you to play a song.”

For a moment, you find yourself seriously considering it. Then you laugh at yourself. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? A straight-laced person like me, committing theft.”

Maren laughs too. “I think breaking the rules would do you some good.”

“That’s not the kind of person I am.”

“It could be.”

“It’s not, and I’m okay with that.”

“Boooring.” Maren sticks out his tongue.

“That’s okay, too.”

He regards you for a moment. “You seem to have it all figured out.”

“I have to,” you say simply. “I mean, my own mother doesn’t know me. If I don’t know who I am, then no one does.”

“…”

“Anyway, if I get caught and jailed. I’d be kicked out of college, and then I’d lose everything. So no theft for me.”

“Would that really be so bad?” Maren says suddenly.

“Wha–of course. Everything my mom did…”

“Okay, but it doesn’t make sense to me.” Maren looks at you seriously. “What’s the point of all that sacrifice if you aren’t happy?”

You open your mouth, but can’t find a response. The words sink in slowly, slowly, and you try and wrap your mind around them. He…He's right. This punk you've known all of several hours is completely and totally right, and you have no idea what to say.

“Uh,” you say. “Um. Wow. Okay. I mean, yeah. Yeah, you have a point there.”

“Don’t sweat it too much, sweetheart.”

Easier said than done–you’re mulling over what he said for the rest of the set, only breaking out of the trance when it finishes and the crowd starts to move. You and Maren get up and follow the flow of the crowd. Everyone’s headed in the same direction–the side shows are all done, and it’s time for the headliner at the center stage.

The excitement at seeing Preyer live cheers you up a bit. You like several of their songs, and you’ve heard they have a great stage presence. Some of the people around you even have signs, though they don’t look nearly as happy to be there as you would think someone who went to the trouble of making signs would be.

Come to think of it, Maren doesn’t seem all that enthusiastic, either. His grin is entirely absent, like it was when you first met him earlier in the day. After you both find a good spot to stand at the center stage, you decide to bring it up.

“I guess you don’t like Preyer?” you ask.

“They sound alright, but the bandmates themselves are douchebags,” is his reply. “I’m not about to hold up a sign over it, but I’m not going to cheer them on, either.”

The comment strikes you as weird, and you follow Maren’s gaze to get a proper look at one of the signs someone’s holding. Rather than a message of endearment, like you expected, there is bold, bright red letters reading out:

‘PREYER OF CHILDREN!!!’

The other signs read similarly, and you frown. “What's with those signs?”

“You haven't heard?” Maren says.

“No… Did something happen?”

“You could say that.” He narrows his eyes. “The lead singer of Preyer likes to hook up with underage fans.”

“What?!”

“Yep. Several teenagers have come forward about it. Apparently drugs were involved. But there wasn't any hard evidence, so nothing’s been done.” 

“Oh! That’s awful!”

“Sorry you had to find out like this.” He pats your shoulder, resting his giant hand there. “I know it kinda ruins the vibes of the festival.”

“It's not ruined,” you say quickly. “I mean, maybe this particular concert is, but I'd rather have known.”

Maren nods. “That bastard let down every single person who came out here. Everyone who looked up to him.” His grip on your shoulder tightens, his smile tense. “He doesn't deserve to be the headlining show. He doesn't deserve to play at all.”

You shake your head in agreement. When you next glance up at Maren, he has a sly gleam in his eye, his grin stretching like he just thought of something funny. 

“Maren?”

“I'm gonna head to the restroom. Wait for me, sweetheart.”

You both already made pit stops before coming to the center stage. He might just need to go again, but even having only known him a few hours, you get the distinct feeling that he's up to something. Before you can say anything, though, he pushes through the crowd behind you and disappears.

You wait for him. The time passes, and several minutes turn to half an hour with no sign of Maren. Just as you really start to get concerned, you realize that the crowd has grown unusually tense. It's not the excited kind of tension, either, not an eagerness for the show to start. Rather, every few minutes you look around for Maren and see more and more people looking restless, even angry. People are starting to turn to their neighbors and talk. 

Something is definitely going on. You focus, trying to pick out individual conversations.

“... serious! He slept with a minor, and…”

“...gave alcohol to a kid…”

“... can't be true! He's a good guy...”

“...she was my daughter's age…”

The rumors of what the lead singer did are spreading like wildfire, it seems. You've never seen anything like it. You're not sure how it's happening–there are some protesters, but not enough to cause this–until you see a shock of familiar, burnt-orange hair a ways down the crowd.

But, wait. That can't be Maren. He’s 15 feet tall, and those guys over there are only about 7. You squint, confused to see that yes, it's definitely Maren, albeit shorter somehow. He's got his hand cupped to someone's ear, their face changing from neutral to shocked to angry in quick succession. Maren pulls away and works his way to another section of the crowd, and you suddenly know exactly what's going on.

Maren’s making sure not a single concert-goer hasn't heard about what's happened! You're in shock. He didn’t strike you as the type to care that much. That, or he just wants to start trouble. You're reminded again that you really don't know him that well, but you can't bring yourself to look down on what he's doing, either. 

You lose sight of him as he disappears into the crowd again, and don't see him until the band has finished setting up, when he seemingly materializes next to you.

“Those pretzel sticks didn't agree with you, huh?” you joke. “Looks like the crowd does, though.”

“Imagine that,” he grins. 

The lead singer starts speaking into the mic, only for the crowd to erupt into a cacophony of boos. You glance at Maren, who’s joined them in full force, then at the crowd. You can't help it– you join in too.

The lead singer tries to pacify the crowd to no avail. He can't get a single word in. He grows more frustrated with each attempt, until he finally screams, “Fuck you! We are Preyer, and we're going to rock your world! Five, six, seven, eight!”

The band launches into their first song. It's a shame–the music itself is good, but you can't enjoy it the same, especially not with the undercurrent of jeering. You figure the best option at this point would be to just leave, but Maren has other ideas.

“Charge! The! Stage!” he starts chanting, and your eyes get huge. Before you know it, the people around you pick up the chant. It's barely audible over the music, but steadily, more and more people start joining in, and it grows louder, and louder.

Maren notices your alarm and crouches down next to you, shouting so you can hear him over all the noise. “All good, babe?”

“All good? You're starting a riot!”

“Fuck yeah, I am!” He holds his hand out to you. “Are you with me?”

You stare at his hand for a moment, wondering how you got to this point. You knew, you just knew hanging out with him was a bad idea. He was everything you weren't! Everything you were taught not to be, brash and opportunistic and self-concerned. He would only make you worse, you were sure. But…god help you, you wanted to be like him. You wanted just a piece of that energetic confidence, to feel the warmth of the fire that burned within him. 

Even if you would get burned.

You swing your arm and clasp Maren's hand tightly. “Yeah!”

The crowd festers, the chant spreading like a plague, madder and louder until even avid fans are screaming it. The dissent is close to bursting, but it isn't quite enough. It needs something to push it over that edge. You look around. The larger fans toward the back seem eager to go, but people your size at the front, while angered, are still in place. Those at the back can't move forward until the ones up front do, not without trampling the smaller concert-goers.

You suddenly have a really, really bad idea. It's so, so unlike you, but, hell. If you want to be different… Maybe not at home, but here, maybe you can be…

What's the point of all that sacrifice if you aren't happy?

Fine, then. You'll make the change for yourself, if you have to.

Without warning, you start pushing through the crowd. Maren shouts after you, but you don't stop, and his voice is swallowed up by the chorus of rage. Heart pounding, you elbow and shoulder your way past the throng of people, row after screaming row, the stage getting closer and closer, the music so loud it's deafening. You can't hear the crowd anymore, nor your own crazed, panicky breathing. Only adrenaline keeps you going. Up at the front now, you can see a line of several security guards dotting the space before the stage. You break through the last line of people, charge forward, vault over the divider, and leap for the stage. 

Somehow you make it. You scrabble up and on. A security guard grabs you by the foot, but you yank your leg, your shoe coming off in his hand. The band keeps playing, but the lead singer stops. You charge him, and he scrambles back. But you're not going for him, much as he deserves it.

You grab the mic and scream one word with all your lungs:

“RIOT!”

All hell breaks loose.

The crowd roars, surging forward like a busted dam. The band stops playing. The security guards who followed you onstage are swiftly overwhelmed. One grabs you, but is pulled off you by three other people. The stage is quickly overrun, shouting and chaos all around. You get pushed and jostled by the rush of bodies. Equipment is being thrown, instruments trashed, wires torn. You can't see anything past the bodies and can't gain enough footing to move in any direction of your own choosing. When the larger people from the back reach the stage, you start to worry about getting trampled. Your fear is quickly realized as you're knocked hard onto the ground.

Out of nowhere, a large hand grabs you and pulls you high up��Maren, lifting you into one burly arm.

“You alright?” he shouts.

“Yes!” you half shout, half laugh. 

He grins wide. “Cops are coming. Hold on!”

Maren runs away from the stage. You cling to his vest, but his hold on you is secure. The people around you are going every which direction, some still charging for the stage, some making a break for it like you are. Policemen start cutting into the crowd, rushing to protect the band.

“Where are you going?” you ask him once you've gained some distance from the crowd.

“No clue,” he says, glancing over his shoulder.

“Let’s go to the Saltwater Inn! I have a room there.”

“Where's that?”

“Head south.”

After you're a safe distance from the chaos, Maren slows to a stop and sets you down, catching his breath. You're panting, too, mostly from adrenaline.

“That…that was…” you pant.

“That was insane! You're amazing!” Maren yells.

“I don't know why I did that!” you yell back. “I–I hope no one saw my face! Oh my god…”

He laughs, one hand on his hip. “I was wrong about you, sweetheart. That was pretty ballsy.”

Right then, you notice that Maren has a guitar in his other hand. “Where did you get that?”

“I stole it from backstage while everyone was distracted.”

“Maren!”

“What? You did far crazier back there.”

You should feel guilty, and normally you would, but his toothy grin just makes you break out into a matching smile.

“Okay, good point. But let's not stick around.” You tug on his free hand, and Maren lets you lead him toward the inn.“I saw something weird while you were in the ‘bathroom’,” you say while you walk. “I could have sworn I saw another, smaller you in the crowd.” You give him an accusatory look.

“Heh. Yeah, that was me. I can change my size, cuz I'm a porcupinefish type Fish-man.”

“This isn't your normal size?”

“Nah, but I prefer it.”

The two of you chat as you make it back to the nearby Saltwater Inn. You were lucky enough to reserve one of the last rooms available back when you impulsively decided to attend the festival. The bed was made for someone Maren's size, so you overpaid, but it was worth it to be within walking distance from the festival. You ask Maren where he was sleeping that night while you both remove your shoes, only for him to reply that he had been camping out. At that point you weren't surprised by his answer.

“Wellll…” you flopped back onto the oversized bed. “If you wanted to…you could, you know…stay here? With me?”

Maren flops back next to you, making you bounce and giggle.

“Wellll…” he mimics your tone. “If you're gonna twist my arm about it….” He flashes you his signature grin.

Faces inches from each other, looking into his sparkling eyes, you're suddenly and totally overwhelmed with the urge to kiss him. But you haven't kissed anyone in years, and he's so attractive, you don't even know how to begin to process that urge. Cheeks warming, you sit up abruptly and clear your throat.

“You said you could teach me to play if you had a guitar,” you say.

“That I did.” Maren sits up and picks the guitar up off the floor. It's huge, jet black and crimson and covered in stickers. He gently sets it in your arms. “It's a bit big for you, but you should still manage.”

Maren goes over the basics, then spends a few minutes trying to position your fingers. When you still struggle to mimic him, he changes strategies.

“Here,” he says, and picks you up by the hips, making you yelp in surprise. His large arms coming to rest over yours. Like this, it's easier for him to reposition your fingers on the frets. Your face quickly gets hot, but Maren is entirely focused on teaching, his grin more relaxed than it has been all day.

Despite everything you've gone through since meeting him, you don't think he's ever been as attractive as he is when he's guiding you through a song. The intent focus on his face, the warmth of his skin against yours, his low voice praising you as you do well–it all makes your head spin. He goes at a slow, steady pace, teaching you one section at a time, until it’s an hour later and you’re playing your very first song.

You’re brimming with excitement as you finish. It’s your first time playing music, and you think you’re in love. You look up at Maren with a sense of awe and wonder. You created music, almost by yourself. He seems genuinely thrilled to have shown you, too.

“Well done, sweetheart,” he says. “Did you like it?”

“Maren, I loved it! Thank you! Thank you so much!”

“It’s the least I could do,” he says.

You set the guitar aside and lean back against him, and he wraps his arms around your waist and holds you.

“I’m glad I met you, Maren,” you say.

“Me too.”

You crane your neck back to look up at him. He grins, but it’s not as intense as usual. It’s soft, in a weird way. That feeling of wanting to kiss him washes over you, and Maren acts like he can sense it, because he cups your cheek.

“Whatcha thinking about, sweetheart?” he almost whispers.

“I–I. Um, I.” You giggle nervously. “I think you’re really hot, and I want to kiss you.”

“Yeah?” He leans closer. “What’s stopping you?”

“Nerves, mostly.”

He chuckles. “Alright, then. How ‘bout I kiss you first?”

You nod, heart racing so fast you think it’ll bruise your sternum. Maren’s thumb strokes your cheek as he takes in your flustered expression. Then he leans in. You shut your eyes, and a moment later, feel the smoothness of his lips pressing to yours.

Tingling, burning warmth courses through your veins at the contact, a taste of his fire. You open your eyes just as he pulls away, his face flushed like yours.

“Fuck,” you say, surprising him into laughter.

“Good?”

“Yeah. Really good.”

“Again?”

“Please, yes–”

He leans in again, and you shift in his lap to straddle one of his giant thighs, lips slightly parted as he kisses you a second time. He guides your arms to wrap around his neck, and you stretch up to meet him so he doesn’t have to bend so much. The second kiss is longer, lighting up your entire body with its passion. He’s not as intense as you expected, almost hesitant in his kissing. You’re not sure you’re doing well, either, but he stays put, so you gain confidence, parting your lips slightly and humming in approval. His tongue probes out to trace your lips, and you gasp before sliding out your own to meet his.

At the touch, you feel the blood rush between your legs. It’s a bit ticklish and wet and so warm, and as Maren closes his mouth to suck on your lower lip, a soft moan trickles out of you before you can help it.

You want him badly, you want all of him. You can feel the desire pouring out of him, too, that inner flame blazing bright and consuming you. He seemed confident throughout the day, but you can’t help but sense that you’re both seeking a kind of solace in the other. It’s been so long since you’ve been close to someone, especially like this, and he’s working up a need in you that’s impossible to ignore.

Maren moves his hands down your back and to your ass, squeezing before tilting you back slightly so he can deepen the kiss, tongue filling your mouth. His kisses turn messy and you do your best to keep up with his heated, dizzying pace, a second moan breaking free when he moves to kiss your neck. You tilt your head to give him easier access, his head filling the space between as he starts to suck on the skin, making a jolt rush straight to your center. You can barely feel the scrape of his sharp teeth, but he doesn’t bite. Maybe it would be dangerous, but you can’t help but feel a bit disappointed.

“Ah…Maren,” you breathe, “Bite me, I–I want you to bite me.”

“Huh? Wait,” he pulls away, giving you both a chance to get your bearings. “I wasn’t kidding when I said my teeth are sharp.”

“Just a nibble?” you plead. “Small and shallow?”

“What are you, a masochist?” Your face burns, but he’s grinning. “Hah! Alright, but hold still, sweetheart. I’ll try not to make you bleed.”

“What are you, afraid of a little blood?” you challenge.

Instantly one of his hands is in your hair, gripping tight by the roots to keep your head still. You moan at the roughness, feeling his grin against the base of your neck before the razor points of his teeth rake your skin. You squirm, and his other hand comes up to grab your shoulder to keep you from moving. The anticipation rockets your arousal from a spark to a burning need, but thankfully he doesn’t make you wait.

There’s a slight, sweet blossoming of pain as his teeth barely sink in. You gasp, legs squeezing his thigh, your breath hitching again when his tongue follows, soothing the sting. He licks back and forth along the spot before slicking his way back to your neck to suck another bruise there, and you can’t help it, you start grinding on his thigh to grant yourself some much-needed relief.

“Fuck,” Maren curses in surprise, pulling back to watch you. The sight must make him impatient, though, because a moment later he grabs your wrist and puts your hand on his crotch. There’s a very large, very hard bulge there, far bigger than your hand. You don’t hesitate to stroke him–you have to work your whole arm to do so–and are rewarded with the beautiful sound of his first moan. His hips cant forward, pushing into your hand, and he’s panting slightly.

“Lie back,” you instruct, and Maren complies, lying back onto the bed. You reposition yourself between his legs so you can grind your crotch directly onto his bulge. He throws his head back and gasps at the same time as you do, his hands coming to grab your hips and pull you onto him harder.

Before you risked buying a small, discreet vibrator, you used to get off by grinding on stacked pillows. The sensation of grinding on Maren, however, was so much better that you found yourself whimpering. His bulge was large enough to provide a firm pressure against your entire vulva, and his breathy, restrained moans only fueled your need. After all the teasing of his kisses, you were already worked up, and it didn’t take you much longer before you were rapidly climbing up and over the peak, a soft cry as you cum.

The orgasm wracks your body, and you hump him desperately throughout it until it finally subsides. You go still, leaning against his belly and catching your breath.

“Why’d you stop?” Maren raises his head to look at you. His brows rise in realization. “Did you cum?”

“Y-Yeah,” you pant. His toothy smirk makes you feel tingly all over again, and you crawl up his body to kiss him some more.

You make out feverishly, all earlier hesitation gone, replaced by hot, needy kisses and nibbles. You pull away just long enough to take off your shirt, throwing it to the side before your bra follows. Maren’s hands are on your breasts in an instant, kneading the soft flesh and making you moan into his mouth. It turns to a sharp cry as his thumbs find your nipples.

“Ya like that?” he husks, and you nod quickly, going to kiss him again and whimpering against his lips when he continues to rub the sensitive nubs. He grants you a brief reprieve as his hands slide down your sides and hips, fingers hooking under the band of your pants, and you break away to remove them and your underwear.

Maren slides a finger between your lower lips, eyes widening at the amount of slick he feels. “Shit, you are so wet.”

“Maren, please–”

You don’t need to say anything more. He slides his middle finger through your folds, up and down, up and down, building up an anticipation that shatters as his finger sinks inside you.

“Ahh!” you cry out as he pushes it deeper, grabbing his forearm to stabilize yourself. His hands are so large, fingers so thick that he can reach all the way to your cervix without stretching. You clench down on the thick digit, dizzy at how easily just one fills you up.

Maren starts to pump his finger slowly, and pleasure shoots through you. The muscles of his forearm flex beneath your hand as he soon fingers you into a mess, your legs shaking as you grind into his palm. He’s biting his lip at the sight of you coming undone on just his hand.

“Kuh, keep going!” you pant desperately. “More, more!”

“More?” he pushes his ring finger at your entrance. “Like this?”

“Yes! Nnnh–!” Your back arches as he pushes the second finger inside you along with the first, the stretch persistent and pleasant and filling. The slick, wet squelch rings in your ears. You rub your clit desperately with one finger, eyes rolling back.

“Shit,” he curses. “Look at you, so needy. Who woulda thought under all that, you’re just a needy little slut?”

Maren slides his other hand up your side to flick at your nipple with his thumb, and his fingers curl abruptly inside you, making you cry out in surprise and delight, the mounting pleasure spiking in intensity. He rubs insistently at your g-spot, and this time, when your orgasm slams into you, he can feel it fluttering around his fingers.

“Ah, ahh–!” You curl forward, almost weak from the intensity, shivers going through you along with the throbbing of your clit. “Coming!”

“I know, sweetheart. I can feel you,” he says, kissing your forehead. “It’s cute how easily you cum.”

“I want my third one to be from you fucking me,” you state intently. His eyes go wide a moment before he laughs.

“Can’t get enough of me, huh?”

“That’s right. I want you to make me regret ever having run into you. I want to think about tonight for the rest of my life.”

Maren’s blush deepens, his tongue poking out to wet his lips before he grins. “You keep catching me off guard, you know that? Alright, then. You think you can take it, then I’ll give it to you.”

He pulls his fingers out of you and uses the slicked digits to tease your nipples. The stimulation is different with the new lubrication, but in a good way, a sigh falling from your lips as he works heat into your body anew. You take his hand, pulling it up to your mouth, and lick the sticky fluid from his fingers. His breath hitches as you surprise him once more, a tender moan coming out when you start to suck on his fingers, one at a time.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Maren groans, his other hand reaching down to undo his zipper. He hastily shoves his boxers down to pull out his cock, jerking himself to the sight and sensation of your little mouth on his fingers. “How–how do you want to do this? I don’t have a condom.”

You take his fingers out of your mouth with a pop. “I have the implant.” You glance over your shoulder and flush hot all over at the sight of his massive cock in his hand. Naturally he’s proportional, and there’s no way it’s going to fit as he is. “Um…you’re huge, Maren. I don’t think it’s gonna–wait, you can make yourself smaller, right?”

He looks conflicted at the idea. “How small are we talking?”

You weren’t sure what his aversion to being smaller was, but you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Thinking for a moment, you offer, “what if I mount you, and you just shrink until it goes in? If you get to a point where you don’t want to keep going, you can stop and we’ll do something else.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Maren nods, seemingly put at ease.

You tug at his vest. He chuckles and removes it, then his pants and boxers. As soon as he’s naked, you throw your arms around his neck and start making out with him again.

“You know,” you say between kisses, “perk of you–being smaller–can kiss and fuck me–at the same time.”

He hums in response, not outright rejecting the idea. At his current height, riding him meant he couldn’t kiss you without breaking his spine. But at his current height, nothing was going to happen anyway.

Maren’s heated kisses work you back into a frenzy of need until you’re breaking away, licking the large scar on his left pectoral before kissing down his chest and belly, until your ass is pressed against his cock. It’s so big it touches your lower back, leaving a smear of precum on your skin.

“Okay,” you say, taking hold of his cock and positioning yourself over it. Maren sucks in a breath at the touch, and you follow suit as you press the blunt head against your vulva. It’s like trying to fuck an eggplant, it’s just not gonna happen, though the wet, smooth skin does feel good against you. “I’m ready.”

Maren nods and lets out a sigh. You feel a slight shift, not immediately realizing he’s changing, until a second later when you realize his head no longer reaches the pillow. He shrinks slowly, losing inch by inch, and you wiggle your hips a little to feel if he’s small enough yet.

You both gasp as he starts to penetrate you, but he can’t get further than the head.

“A-Almost,” you stammer. Another inch of height off, and you’re able to sink down onto him slowly. “There! Yes!”

Overall, Maren’s only lost about four feet of height. At 11 feet tall he’s still huge in comparison to you, and you’re a bit surprised at yourself. 

He must be, too, because he asks, “It’s not too much?” 

“I think–I can handle–nnng…” You lose focus as he bottoms out. His cock is still huge, bigger than anyone you’ve been with or any toy you’ve used, and the stretch hurts just a little bit. But he seemed so reluctant to get smaller, you don’t want to push him any more than he has. You just need some time to adjust, and you tell him as much.

“Ya sure, babe?”

“Yeah…It’s, it’s kind of good like this…” you hang your head down, looking at the point where your bodies are connected. There’s still several inches of him left out. He’s so thick that the broad head of him pushes firmly against your g-spot and doesn’t let you forget it’s there. You lift your hips experimentally, and the movement makes you both gasp again, a jolt of intertwined heat.

“Fuck, how are you taking so much? Little thing like you,” Maren’s hands rest on your hips as you start moving up and down. “You like big dick, huh, sweetheart?”

“Y-Yes, yes,” you pant as you start riding him in earnest. “Oh–oh, fuck, Maren…”

“You’re more wild than you let on. I think you’ve been waiting for something like this, huh? Waiting for someone like me.” His breath is heavy, his husky words encouraging. “So wound up when we first met–turns out all you needed was to let loose, hmm?”

He’s not even dirty talking, not really, but the way he speaks to you just makes you wetter. You’re able to keep going thanks to it, keeping the friction from getting uncomfortable. Panting, you roll your hips as you ride him, grinding him where you need him most.

“Tell me how it feels, tell me how that big dick feels,” Maren says.

“Good! Feels so good!”

He rewards you with a sudden, hard spank, and you gasp.

“You got tighter! You are a masochist.”

He smacks you again, making you cry out. “Maren!”

“That’s right, sweetheart, say my name!”

Smack!

“Maren-!”

Your pace slows as you tire–the festival has you drained–but Maren doesn’t hesitate to grab your hips, bracing his legs against the bed to thrust up into you. His tongue pokes out slightly as he pants, bouncing you on his cock, and you’re able to rub your clit now that he’s picked up the slack.

He moans, grip tightening on your hips as his pace picks up. Each thrust shoves you closer and closer to the edge until you crash over it with a strangled cry of his name, orgasm ripping through you.

“I got ya,” he pants, his hurried thrusts work you through your orgasm, head spinning at the feel of your walls spasming around him. “Gonna…ah, shit, I’m gonna cum…!”

He stops abruptly, pulling you down onto him so hard it hurts a little, head thrown back and moaning from deep in his gut. His cock throbs as he empties inside you, and then there’s no sound left but the both of you catching your breath.

He softens inside you, but is still so large he doesn’t fall out until you get off of him. You collapse next to his side, resting your head against him, a thick haze of relief and sated pleasure fogging up your brain.

Maren’s arm slings over your body, pulling you closer. You look up at him. He smiles when your gazes meet, that charming, devilish grin that got you here.

“You good, sweetheart?”

“Never been better.” You match his grin. “Next round, can you fuck me against the wall?”

“On the wall, on the table, on the floor…” he trails off, and you both giggle. “What about tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?”

“One more day of the festival left.”

You cuddle into his side. “Will you spend it with me?”

Maren’s gaze softens. “Of course, sweetheart.”

It turns out that Maren has far more stamina than you do. He puts you through your paces, and you’re exhausted and sore the next day, leading him to practically carry you around. The final show is incredible, and when the day comes to a close and it’s time to part ways, you tear up a little. Maren’s as cheerful as ever, but you can see past the front he puts out just a little, now–you know he’s bummed, too.

“Keep your chin up, sweetheart. Maybe someday we’ll meet again.” He says, wiping at the corners of your eyes. “Promise me you won’t miss a guy like me too much?”

You smile and nod, even as you lie through your teeth. “I promise.”

[catboygirling]

top 5 ace attorney cases (i feel like most people probably have similar lists but still)

I actually have no idea what the general consensus on best cases are! so maybe I'll have some scalding takes in here, who knows.

so, in no particular order:

Farewell, My Turnabout - I feel like I could easily put the final cases from all three trilogy games on this list, but that's boring. so let's just stick with my personal favorite of the three. poor Phoenix just doesn't catch a break with this one. Maya is KIDNAPPED and Franziska GETS SHOT and Miles ISN'T DEAD?? HUH?? Matt Engarde is an excellent villain, he sort of lands right in the sweet spot of "definitely 100% evil but is having So Much Fun." this man gets accused of murder by his own attorney and dramatically sweeps away his bangs and pulls out a glass of chocolate milk. (I don't know what it actually is. probably not chocolate milk but that's the first thing I saw it as.) and while Miles and Franziska don't actually interact much in the second game, I am Constantly thinking about that scene they have at the airport. excellent glimpse into their dynamic, excellent setup for their face-off in Bridge to the Turnabout.

The Stolen Turnabout - is this one one of my favorites because Ron DeLite is super lame and I enjoy that in male characters? maybe. Desirée learning he's an Actual Criminal and continuing to support him anyway is amazing. malewife/girlboss kind of dynamic. the case initially being about a theft and not a murder is a nice change of pace, and also enforces the fact that jesus christ, Phoenix and Maya can't do anything fun together without a murder being involved, even in the one case where they didn't even know anyone died.

The Grand Turnabout - gonna be honest, I'm putting this one here almost entirely because of the logic chess segment with Sebastian. and Sebastian in general. he's a soaking wet kitten I found in a cardboard box, I really like him. all the logic chess sequences are about balancing emotion and information-gathering, but this one really emphasizes it. (also, sorry Sebastian, I did pick that option to call you worthless right at the start and laughed hysterically about the instant game-over.) but there's good outside of that, too! the image of the prosecutor, defense attorney, AND the judge all trying to stall a case at the same time is a really funny mental image. and the mastermind twist was SO GOOD. did not see it coming at all, and taking down Keyes was super satisfying. oh, and the bit where you logic chess Sebastian spawned the phrase "I'm gonna milk this kitten" among my friends, which we use as shorthand for "this guy is so lame and pathetic and sad, I/someone in the narrative should comfort them," so. that's pretty cool.

Turnabout Reminiscence - the Investigations games have REALLY good character interactions, and this one is one of my favorites for that. Franziska and Miles getting into silly arguments about vending machine swiss rolls is the greatest thing I've ever seen. also, special shoutout to that part where Miles has to deduce that noise from the TV could've been heard through the window and you have to like. first establish that scents can travel through the air. I'm so sorry sweetie but my logic button was leaps ahead of yours on that one.

Turnabout Reclaimed - okay, I'm fairly confident that this one is a Take. how many people have even played the dlc? this one immediately gets points for the insane premise of "Phoenix Wright defends an orca." it's so silly, but in a very Ace Attorney(tm) way. see also: Blackquill just taking the case to see how much of a disaster it'll be, Pearl cameo! and HERMAN CRAB. most underrated character in the series. he's such a good witness. he doesn't even lie about anything, which by ace attorney standards, is extremely rare! says his piece, you cross-examine him one time, and he just goes home. and he doesn't believe in romantic feelings, which. neither do I, dude. experiencing aro solidarity in the aa5 dlc case that no one talks about. only complaint is the rapping pirate. fuck that guy.

oh, and Turnabout Storyteller gets a shoutout. the case itself is fun (although very tension-killing, considering we're taking a break from Phoenix literally fighting for his life to watch Athena fight for a noodle stand), but I mostly want to mention that one part where Blackquill breaks his usual animations and Grabs you. that part made me scream laugh and I have a gif of it saved on my phone forever.

[stachehand]

My My Little Pony Episode Opinions (Part 1)

Ever since the beginning of this year, i've been rewatching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, though have been extremely slow in getting to the seasons past the third. I mean, the year's almost over and I still have four more to watch. On Twitter, i've made a thread dedicated to opining about each episode I revisit, which is to include not only the main show, but also all of the Equestria Girls films and specials, the 2017 theatrical film, and the Christmas and Rainbow Roadtrip specials. Currently, I have done everything up to the end of Season 5. Also, I should note that i'm leaving out shorts and music videos for the sake of keeping things streamlined.

Anyway, here's my long list of thoughts i've constructed so far in the tweets, with the character limit Twitter allowed:

Season 1, Episode 1: Friendship is Magic, Part 1

The humble beginnings. It doesn't waste time in providing the foundations of our main characters, and is also an informative preview of what can be expected out of the show besides world-threatening conflicts. Ideal start point.

Season 1, Episode 2: Friendship is Magic, Part 2

Everyone contributes organically to the climax setup, and none of it feels rushed despite the time limit. I can also give Nightmare Moon props for her proactivity. Too bad about Spike being mostly sidelined at the end, though.

Season 1, Episode 3: The Ticket Master

Cute seasonal setup episode with fun visuals, though my favourite part is how one character has the end goal of financially supporting her folks in mind for attending, while the others have reasons more hedonistic or thirsty as F in nature.

Season 1, Episode 4: Applebuck Season

This episode speaks to me louder now than it did way back then. I have to question how much it was going to take for Applejack's friends (besides Twilight) to notice how out of it she clearly was by her actions, but it's a barrel of laughs.

Season 1, Episode 5: Griffon the Brush Off

Pinkie Pie in top form. New person got poisonous attitude? Use a party! Although, I wonder if her "she might give it back" comment about Gilda stealing that apple (and then eating it) was made because Gilda's a bird. Imagine THAT scene.

Season 1, Episode 6: Boast Busters

Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity's attempts to upstage Trixie feel like natural end results, though the episode SORELY overlooks Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy in the matter. Also, Spike gets repetitive. Trixie? Delightfully theatrical entrance!

Season 1, Episode 7: Dragonshy

As our first exposure to dragon mannerisms and power outside of little Spike, it's pretty intriguing. Even better, it took the first big steps in the right direction for Fluttershy's character. Sadly, Angel Bunny's would only get worse from here.

Season 1, Episode 8: Look Before You Sleep

Gotta have an episode to remind me what kind of cartoon i'm rewatching. Seriously though, it never gets too sickly sweet, thanks to the entertaining antagonism. But was staying at Twilight's house REALLY the only option for BOTH ponies?

Season 1, Episode 9: Bridle Gossip

The effects of the Poison Joke flower were the REAL stars of this episode. Also pre-Cutie Mark Crusaders Apple Bloom. I think most of us can agree it's odd how Twilight is skeptical for most of it, then changes her tune at surface-level stuff.

Season 1, Episode 10: Swarm of the Century

Parasprites are terrifying and gross creatures that shouldn't exist. Pretty darn convenient that the Andrea Libman-voiced pony who ISN'T the animal caretaker knows about these things and how to remove them. Proves her intellect well.

Season 1, Episode 11: Winter Wrap Up

The song is still lovely, and the resolution plays to one of Twilight's greatest strengths. Nice use of Chekhov's Gun. However, I can't help thinking the disaster could've been avoided if a moment was taken to remember "Oh yeah, telekinesis."

Season 1, Episode 12: Call of the Cutie

Someone needed to call out Twist for her betrayal. Where's the justice? That aside, this episode makes one thing perfectly clear about Apple Bloom: she ain't her sister, and this road of self-discovery begins by stepping out of her shadow.

Season 1, Episode 13: Fall Weather Friends

A case where Applejack and Rainbow Dash butt heads in the heat of competition, and fun stuff is done with it. I love how it has a dash of The Tortoise and the Hare at the end, just because they could do it. All they need is a rematch.

Season 1, Episode 14: Suited For Success

Art of the Dress is still a masterwork. Twilight and the others are lucky that Rarity didn't hold their "looking the gift horse in the mouth" (as the ending lesson put it) against them. Also, I guess Spike's a ghost here. Do NOT miss out!

Season 1, Episode 15: Feeling Pinkie Keen

I enjoy me a round of cartoon slapstick, and this episode doesn't disappoint there, though I feel the Pinkie Sense could've been handled a bit differently in hindsight. Like, imagine it's a condition Pinkie has that's cured by "doozies"?

Season 1, Episode 16: Sonic Rainboom

It demonstrates one of the fantastical feats one of the heroines can pull off outside of cartoon logic. And Libman's acting chops. One thing i'll say is that you can probably get to the competition with about half the scenes leading up to it.

Season 1, Episode 17: Stare Master

I think Twilight's motivations could've been ANYTHING to get her in the petrified state, but the Cutie Mark Crusaders, like the children they are, are likable in their never-ending activity bouncing off Fluttershy. The Stare's quite an anomaly.

Season 1, Episode 18: The Show Stoppers

An unfortunate aftereffect of this episode is the running gag it'd attach to the Cutie Mark Crusaders for a good while to come. Within the episode itself, the talent show kind of comes off as an element as random as the montage escapades.

Season 1, Episode 19: A Dog and Pony Show

Seriously, what MLP fan doesn't love Rarity getting under the Diamond Dogs' skin with her squeaky whining? One part I find a bit nonsense was Twilight going "But only Rarity finds gems.", and one second later: "Wait, Rarity taught me."

Season 1, Episode 20: Green Isn't Your Color

FUN FACT: this was the first FiM episode I properly watched, so I have a bias in calling it one of my absolute favourites. Fluttershy's situation is why I never want to have celebrity status, but I also identify with Rarity's plight.

Season 1, Episode 21: Over a Barrel

Now Applejack and Rainbow Dash deny others their chance to speak for themselves in a potential compromise, and they aren't called out for it as much as they SHOULD be. Worse: one of the earliest examples of Pinkie being outright brain-dead.

Season 1, Episode 22: A Bird in the Hoof

For a molting bird, Philomena was quite a crafty little stinker, wasn't she? Sure produced some good laughs in the climax. I appreciate the ending revelation making sense of Celestia leaving her sickly pet behind, the conflict's catalyst.

Season 1, Episode 23: The Cutie Mark Chronicles

A wholesome anthology-type episode where everything meets up neatly in the middle. The circumstances are very conveniently coincidental, yet they still defy the whole common "it was your destiny" trope in a strange sort of way.

Season 1, Episode 24: Owl's Well That Ends Well

The beginning's on the nose, and you'd swear that Owlowiscious WAS threatening Spike's position with his 24-hour presence. It gets pretty ridiculous thanks to a lack of desperately-needed communication. Also, this image here, man!

Season 1, Episode 25: Party of One

The story mixes brilliantly deceptive foreshadowing in the prologue, a believable insecurity in Pinkie, a hilarious demonstration of vocal range from Libman, and a great moral on knowing your best friends like the back of your hand. Perfection!

Season 1, Episode 26: The Best Night Ever

Strong start, then it swerves into nonsense country. First season finale: main protagonist is barely in the plot. Fluttershy gave us a funny freakout, make no mistake, but at what cost? Finally, the ending is depressing in numerous ways.

Season 2, Episode 1: The Return of Harmony, Part 1

A magnificent introduction to Discord. What made his plan to corrupt the heroes brilliant is that he did it while their friendship was still young, and they organically behave like how they characteristically would on bad days.

Season 2, Episode 2: The Return of Harmony, Part 2

Spike got to be a plot convenience. Now, one thing I think could've been tweaked in this episode is the memory spell deal. Twilight's friends may have easily had their true selves restored by their unity in the last few minutes.

Season 2, Episode 3: Lesson Zero

Still a hilarious episode, and the funniest Twilight's freak-outs ever got. But besides it's humour, the show wouldn't have moved forward as much without it. Also, those ponies are totally jealous of Spike's purple unicorn friendship seniority.

Season 2, Episode 4: Luna Eclipsed

One has to wonder how much of a break Luna was taking since her previous appearance to have this out-of-touch position here. No matter, though. This episode is interesting for how it shows Twilight, a student, becoming the master for a night.

Season 2, Episode 5: Sisterhooves Social

It's not only cute, but important. First, it goes to show that cutting someone out of your life doesn't simply begin with a declaration. Second, it's essentially every good sibling's childhood fabrication of a good guy & bad guy scenario.

Season 2, Episode 6: The Cutie Pox

Here's a good message: there's no reward in taking the easy way out, because the easy way out doesn't really exist (or at least doesn't have to). Although, if the titular disease is that widely known, shouldn't the signs have been seen sooner?

Season 2, Episode 7: May the Best Pet Win!

I do not get why Fluttershy doesn't object more to Rainbow's snubbing of Tank. He's a good boy, that tortoise. With how present he was, it would've been a plot twist to NOT have him get the win. Pretty strange episode here, I must say.

Season 2, Episode 8: The Mysterious Mare Do Well

My god, the staggering lack of self-awareness of one simple fact they demonstrate: EVERYONE'S got an ego, just in differing sizes. I think they wanted too much for Rainbow Dash to be seen in the wrong by the lengths of her idiocy.

Season 2, Episode 9: Sweet and Elite

I need to pay my respects to this episode for playing with the old "liar is a liar who's revealed as a liar in the end" type of story a little. We got a genuinely charming minor character out of it. Pure wholesomeness permeates the runtime.

Season 2, Episode 10: Secret of My Excess

Growing pains ahoy! Spike got a well-told lesson about giving from the heart over taking because of temptation, but since his species is mysterious at this point, bit of a time waster to consult the local PONY healthcare first, Twilight.

Season 2, Episode 11: Hearth's Warming Eve

Always a good watch around Christmas. It's history lesson on the show's main setting is easily digestible, yet a bit complex, and the in-universe casting is perfect. I think all that's missing is an appearance from Twilight's parents.

Season 2, Episode 12: Family Appreciation Day

So, the entire town of Ponyville, not just that one big apple orchard, owes it's existence to magic fruit? That's oddly specific. Also odd how a more direct rescheduling method stares at everyone right in the face, and no one saw it.

Season 2, Episode 13: Baby Cakes

Isn't it weird how Pinkie seems to have realizations of how in over her head she is, yet basically proceeds with her old strategy anyway, and just never uses what she learns as she goes along for the sake of the obvious end episode moral? Crazy.

Season 2, Episode 14: The Last Roundup

Applejack had a pretty realistic reaction to her failure, and what's more, her skill in loophole exploitation is a devious dimension to her honesty streak. Cartoon antics aside, it's mature writing. Also, something something Derpy's voice.

Season 2, Episode 15: The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000

The fact nobody in town got to know what the Flim Flam Brothers' cider tasted like BEFORE the quality control cancellation lessens their threat a bit. Nonetheless, the ending deconstructed the lesson formula hilariously.

Season 2, Episode 16: Read It and Weep

If you ever need an episode of this show that's a confidence booster when you don't know how to come out about something you've grown smitten with, this is the one. Or just watch Rainbow be likeable while trying to maintain her street cred.

Season 2, Episode 17: Hearts and Hooves Day

Besides how the conflict came about from someone neglecting to mention an important detail to the CMC, and maybe too much of the sugary lover names, this is a funny step outside the Cutie Mark obsession comfort zone. A cute song, too.

Season 2, Episode 18: A Friend in Deed

The Smile Song is still the ultimate feel-good song. The story that follows it has a heartwarming Chekhov's Gun payoff, but the lesson Pinkie should've learned was the importance of minding her personality around someone new and unfamiliar.

Season 2, Episode 19: Putting Your Hoof Down

By the end, i'm left puzzled as to why they'd overlook the detail where assertiveness turned into needless aggression. It should have some slightly bigger repercussions than what happens, as hilarious as Fluttershy's loud rampage is.

Season 2, Episode 20: It's About Time

This is an episode of it's time. The audacity to poke fun at all the bogus doomsday predictions that used to run rampant, and put Twilight in the position of an overanxious believer. So much she forgot that she lived in the royal city once.

Season 2, Episode 21: Dragon Quest

If this episode just had a few elements added on to it, like some female dragon characters, and interactions with the seasoned adults, it'd come off less like a "cute and girly good, rad and boyish bad" story mixed in with the intended message.

Season 2, Episode 22: Hurricane Fluttershy

You can tell the show's beard is growing here. They tactfully handled the childhood bullying trauma and fit it seamlessly into a lesson about even the tiniest things having difference-making potential. Fluttershy really defined courage.

Season 2, Episode 23: Ponyville Confidential

What's admirable about this story is that regardless of anything that compels the CMC to go through with their hurtful journalism, they are still accountable for their actions and need to earn forgiveness. And voice-of-reason Rarity.

Season 2, Episode 24: MMMystery on the Friendship Express

This was specifically written and drawn to give us dessert cravings, I swear. Besides the fun film homages, if they wanted the mystery factor, it was hurt by both the nighttime silhouettes having the distinct pony shape.

Season 2, Episode 25: A Canterlot Wedding, Part 1

There were quite a handful of questions that Twilight could've easily brought up if she were to have any chance of helping her case about "Cadance". Shining Armor needed better explaining, too. But dang, does it strike the heart.

Season 2, Episode 26: A Canterlot Wedding, Part 2

The second half of this two-parter went hard. The song, This Day Aria, went hard. The villain, Chrysalis, went hard. The action went hard. Lastly, it opened the gateway for villain returns and other family stories. What a finish.

Season 3, Episode 1: The Crystal Empire, Part 1

It gets off to a slow start, not helped by a song number, but they nicely pulled off the long-lost kingdom angle with traumatized amnesia victims clashing against the eye candy environment. Nobody feels out-of-character, either.

Season 3, Episode 2: The Crystal Empire, Part 2

King Sombra, for his limited screen time, is a believable threat, like a smart cross between a posthumous antagonist and a cataclysmic force. That aside, parts of this episode play out like novel narration, and it's kind of funny.

Season 3, Episode 3: Too Many Pinkie Pies

Goes to show there's only room for one of any iconic character. They earned points for making not an episode with Flanderization, but an episode that fires a shot at Flanderization. Then points are lost for an overly-elaborate solution.

Season 3, Episode 4: One Bad Apple

Someone I know put it best about the CMC's revenge stunt, long ago: "That's not bullying, that's retribution." The song's serviceable, but what's bothersome in this story is the surprising lack of adult presence, and some bits of underreacting.

Season 3, Episode 5: Magic Duel

There was more smoke & mirrors magicianry than in Trixie's debut, oddly. It's an overall good time with a spectacular antagonist comeback, except for that uncharacteristic display of cowardice from Fluttershy when her friend's life depends on her.

Season 3, Episode 6: Sleepless in Ponyville

Hey, it's an animated look into a child's patterns and emotional weakness, topped with an unofficial adoption on the spot. This is why Scootaloo is my favourite CMC. One note: I never saw Sweetie Belle's sour note as a continuity fail.

Season 3, Episode 7: Wonderbolts Academy

The academy scenes are great, Lightning Dust is a fun foil to Rainbow, but the stuff with Pinkie and co. needed to be shortened, as the ending's a little rushed. Twilight or Applejack could've quickly come up with the care package idea.

Season 3, Episode 8: Apple Family Reunion

I doubt it was at all intentional, but the way I see it, there's a bit of dark comedy to the overtones of Applejack's reunion arrangements, and that's got me feeling uneasy. Worse, not enough Babs Seed time to warrant her reappearance.

Season 3, Episode 9: Spike at Your Service

Many fans hate this episode, but I can't. It's so bad, it's great. Although, it'd be funnier if the Dragon Code was just a shopping list, and nobody realized it. Speaking of what-ifs, surprised Rarity didn't have a big fit of jealousy.

Season 3, Episode 10: Keep Calm and Flutter On

I always found the pacing in this episode fine for such a big shake-up to a character. It worked because Discord had a believable layer added to his chaotic nature, but also, in the end, everyone knows his redemption has just begun.

Season 3, Episode 11: Just for Sidekicks

If Spike was reminded that he could always go digging for more gems, and Angel Bunny wasn't portrayed as unaccountable, despite his clear sentience, I wouldn't scratch my head at this. At least Zecora remembers the threat greed poses.

Season 3, Episode 12: Games Ponies Play

It's too convenient that nothing about inspecting the games or the name "Ms. Harshwhinny" manages to leave anyone's mouth around the excitable visitor they mistake for the inspector, until near the end. Said visitor's likeable, good thing.

Season 3, Episode 13: Magical Mystery Cure

Sure, it feels like there's a missing episode to this plot, but the song numbers are beautiful and Twilight is properly rewarded for her initiative and knowledge. If you can call this an amnesia episode, it actually gets amnesia right.

Film 1: My Little Pony: Equestria Girls

If it isn't dragging it's feet because of obligatory world-building or Twilight forgetting obvious concepts, it's got me questioning some of the characters' awareness. Bop of a song, cute interactions, messy story. Less ideal start point.

Season 4, Episode 1: Princess Twilight Sparkle, Part 1

The episode draws you into the mystery it's setting up, and pulls cunning misdirection. But, something I thought about now: why don't they use Spike's letter-sending fire to try getting a lock on where the Royal Sisters are?

Season 4, Episode 2: Princess Twilight Sparkle, Part 2

Cons: undercooked Nightmare Moon background, and Twilight's friends deciding to send her home too easily. Pros: Discord being a fun stinker in mentor tactics, and the lesson of a friendship lasting beyond where it started.

Season 4, Episode 3: Castle Mane-ia

A serviceable episode that provides a logical follow-up to the retired formula of the past seasons, but otherwise it doesn't do anything of interest with this historical setting but the golden age horror homages as obligatory as the title pun.

Season 4, Episode 4: Daring Don't

The twist in this episode makes sense with the compact in-universe lore of the character in question, and what it comes with is a subversive, but still relatable take on the "never meet your heroes" cliché. Just one thing: remember it for later.

Season 4, Episode 5: Flight to the Finish

This undoubtedly went some personal. psychological places for kids, because for all the right reasons, this is pretty sad to watch, comical bits aside. Nothing to complain about, other than the status quo blatantly butting in at the end.

Season 4, Episode 6: Power Ponies

You gotta laugh at Fluttershy having a rage fit, but if you're gonna paint your story like Spike's friends aren't taking his comic knowledge or instructions very seriously, make more use of that leeway you have with an enchanted book's powers.

Season 4, Episode 7: Bats!

The very real dangers of peer pressure and the very real problem of pest infestations and how to control them, all in one episode. Dang, what a juggling act. That impresses me. Though, you'd expect a balance in the characters seeing sides at the start.

Season 4, Episode 8: Rarity Takes Manehattan

A smart piece of commentary on switching environments and giving out trust. It's easy to understand Rarity almost sacrificing her ethics and devolving into one of the dog-eat-dog city folk, after simple goodness came back to bite her.

Season 4, Episode 9: Pinkie Apple Pie

It exemplifies the best of a family dynamic. When they drive each other up the wall, but nobody gets hurt in any fashion and they resolve the tension on their own, they're functional. Additionally, Pinkie was funny and smart this go-around.

Season 4, Episode 10: Rainbow Falls

Fundamentally awkward story for Rainbow Dash's "key". It shouldn't be that exciting for her to fly with the Wonderbolts. She already does! Yet despite the repeated continuity nod, that detail is conveniently ignored. Plus: that's not Spitfire!

Season 4, Episode 11: Three's A Crowd

If they didn't spend so much time saying Discord had a (fake) problem, Twilight and Cadance's bonding could've been more interesting. Why WOULDN'T Cadance want a fully peaceful day with Twilight after the craziness in the past two seasons?!

Season 4, Episode 12: Pinkie Pride

What an episode to air on my 20th birthday! Cheese Sandwich steals the show, and we see a case of a prideful person who doesn't aim to upstage anybody. The live-action shots are gags straight out of SpongeBob, and I love them for that. Perfect!

Season 4, Episode 13: Simple Ways

Goofy, but meaningful. Goes to show that when you think you can change yourself to someone else, you need an accident for your true character to re-emerge. A love triangle was a useful plot device, even. You wouldn't expect that normally. LOL

Season 4, Episode 14: Filli Vanilli

Plot convenient continuity nodding and a realistic take on facing your fears for the win! As for Pinkie's bit, I can say it was fine for one time, but when it's repeated, especially in succession, it's just writing her as a brain-dead babbler.

Season 4, Episode 15: Twilight Time

And there's our special lesson on how association can possibly be a curse, even if, for a short time, it looks like a blessing. It just could've been heavier on the show over the tell. On another note: how about some justice for Randolph, huh?

Season 4, Episode 16: It Ain't Easy Being Breezies

I find it fascinating to see how an act of goodwill can still come from someone betraying their biggest moral trait. That's a strong message. That said, the ending solution feels comically convenient, and the problem puzzling.

Season 4, Episode 17: Somepony to Watch Over Me

Oh, you poor idiot plot. Applejack can't be bothered to remember outside helpers until the worst moment, and I don't get why they bothered characterizing the chimera. That song cancellation gag and action scene were good, though.

Season 4, Episode 18: Maud Pie

I love Maud. Absolutely adorable in her monotone, and a positive example of how emotions and opinions can come from different reactions than the expected. A few nitpicks in character and scenario writing, but otherwise a lovely, must-see episode.

Season 4, Episode 19: For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils

Once again, Rarity and Sweetie Belle carry an important story. It's a familiar feeling, seeing the older sibling as a villain, leading to a touching revelation by the perspective shift. An anti-revenge note also don't hurt.

Season 4, Episode 20: Leap of Faith

A balanced take on the matter of well-meant lies versus difficult truths, because while everyone obviously needed to hear the latter, the former brought vital details of body and spirit to light which might've been forgotten about otherwise.

Season 4, Episode 21: Testing Testing 1, 2, 3

I'm all for them passing down THIS kind of knowledge. The idea of how one can achieve it without consciously trying to exercise their intelligence. Not so much for most things that pay off starting as spells of incompetence. Oh well.

Season 4, Episode 22: Trade Ya!

It goes pretty swimmingly for a bit. I'd say the setting had some amusing escalation. But then one subplot seems to skip a beat, and the ending conflict feels too last-minute and easily avoidable to get invested in. Now, who wants chicken dippers?

Season 4, Episode 23: Inspiration Manifestation

The moral of Spike's journey: if you are friends with someone, even love them, and you're willing to call them out for their mistakes (which they recognize), that's a testament of a true bond. The lesson's progression was on point.

Season 4, Episode 24: Equestria Games

Did we necessarily need an Olympics backdrop and episodes building up to the event to tell THIS story? It's simply a (fine) lesson on expectation and celebrity mortality. Also, that dumb, long gag should've had a comedic (and quick) cutaway.

Season 4, Episode 25: Twilight's Kingdom, Part 1

It gets so much right as a first part. It presents the reality of pep talks being great, but not always certain to heal an insecurity immediately, creatively utilizes Chekhov's Gun, and establishes Tirek as a cool force of nature.

Season 4, Episode 26: Twilight's Kingdom, Part 2

The fight had no reason to go that anime, and I love it! Icing on a cake layered by a show-stealing villain, two congruent arc conclusions, thrilling stakes, and how it ends with an unapologetic, radical restructuring! Fecking! A!

Film 2: Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks

What can I say besides that Sunset had a realistic and rewarding redemption, I laughed, they cohesively built drama off a wound from the original's conflict, the villain songs are the sickest beats in this franchise, and more?! It's… ART!

Season 5, Episode 1: The Cutie Map, Part 1

You wouldn't think MLP would use it's cute image to thinly disguise a light psycho-thriller. Pinkie's uncharacteristic behaviour actually works to a pretty humorous benefit. Though I scratch my head at the town's self-sustainment means.

Season 5, Episode 2: The Cutie Map, Part 2

The heroes pulled some airtight manipulation and deception, and Starlight Glimmer's self-interest reveal is an effective spot to leave her in for what's to come. Her secret is revealed by an odd convenience, but nothing story-breaking.

Season 5, Episode 3: Castle Sweet Castle

Massively poignant episode that respectfully handles the pains of leaving home forever and adapting to a new place of residence, paired with a heartfelt tribute to the show's continuity and previous status quo. Ingenious resolution there.

Season 5, Episode 4: Bloom & Gloom

The first nightmare sequence captures the eerie similarity to reality real dreams have to a T. Babs Seed being mentioned, but absent is strongly felt, though. Like, "should've probably had physical presence" (in dreamland) felt. That's just me.

Season 5, Episode 5: Tanks for the Memories

While I respect this children's cartoon's creative take on the 5 Stages of Grief, they egregiously overplay how much of a change Tank's hibernation really is. "This isn't good-bye. It's just good-bye 'til next time." - remember that?

Season 5, Episode 6: Appleoosa's Most Wanted

Everyone's pointed out how the writer forgot what makes a Cutie Mark manifest, but I found it rather annoying that the CMC weren't quick to stand up for the poor alleged criminal. Also, i'm lost on the comedy of his self-harm. Yipes.

Season 5, Episode 7: Make New Friends but Keep Discord

Following from Discord's redemption arc, it highlights just how little he's been offered a hand in friendship to react how he does. Spoiled, close-minded, and still a fun scene stealer. But, Smooze is gross and superfluous.

Season 5, Episode 8: The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone

Quite a bold twist to take former friends who couldn't possibly ever restore the goodwill between each other, but manage to because of a little hidden nostalgia for happiness they never stopped valuing. Gold among the junk.

Season 5, Episode 9: Slice of Life

It's an insane train ride of fan service, not much motivation behind it but that, but dang does it demonstrate the setting's inherent goofiness and cement it as a lived-in place. Part of me thinks the Mane 6 characters should've been excluded.

Season 5, Episode 10: Princess Spike

Spike really doesn't just come off as a kid enjoying getting cool stuff in this, but uncomfortably tyrannical. Adding on, Twilight being treated as the center of the kingdom, the one with all the answers, is ludicrously sudden and incredible.

Season 5, Episode 11: Party Pooped

I see the aim of the moral, how the journey can mean more than the destination, but I think another message is to be taken away from this episode. That is insanity. Constant, predictable actions leading to predictable, and repetitious, results.

Season 5, Episode 12: Amending Fences

They did a great job resolving the loose end of Twilight's forgotten friends, and stating that the mistake of one shouldn't make others tied to that person accomplices in hurting somebody. If Twilight just wasn't so forward, it'd be perfect.

Season 5, Episode 13: Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep?

Besides how creepy it is that Luna's been secretly doing this self-punishment thing ever since she reformed, the reveal behind the Tantabus's origin is handled in such a blasé manner. Points for creative action, though.

Season 5, Episode 14: Canterlot Boutique

The rejected altered dress deserved a happy ending, damn it! I thought that Sassy Saddles was such a self-centered, callous person, her turn at the end was too little, too late. They even confused workplace depression with pride. So dumb.

Season 5, Episode 15: Rarity Investigates!

This is definitely something you watch more for the fun film noir homages than the actual mystery, but it does have value in teaching the importance of heeding details. Very smart use of Rarity's character, and her dynamic with Rainbow.

Season 5, Episode 16: Made in Manehattan

It's hilarious that the problem they needed to mend literally stumbles into them from the sky. Prime plot convenience. But hey, I can respect when they pay respects to the simpler ways to help people. Also Coco Pommel, that cinnamon bun.

Season 5, Episode 17: Brotherhooves Social

The ending makes for a genuine and heartwarming sibling moment. I know that sense of inferiority born from a relation to someone with great achievements. But why put minutes of generic, awkwardness-peppered comedy in front of it, guys?

Season 5, Episode 18: Crusaders of the Lost Mark

They pulled off the most original way they could've closed out the CMC's longest-running plotline. I don't find that Diamond Tiara's abrupt shift in sympathy eliciting hurts that story too much. The songs won me over on it easily.

Season 5, Episode 19: The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows

Boy, was this a heavy allegory for spoilers, and what joys in the world are worth not having spoiled for you. Surprisingly, a scene lasting seconds effectively humanized Shining Armor more than his wife. Hobbies give you life.

Season 5, Episode 20: Hearthbreakers

A good moral on how the important thing about someone's yearly traditions is that they're happy with them, and what does the same for you should harmonize with them. What thwarts it a bit is Applejack's uncharacteristic disregard for consent.

Season 5, Episode 21: Scare Master

Now that's a twist, to say that if you don't want any part in an activity, even if it reveals talent you didn't know you had, you're under no obligation to regularly invest your time in it, even for friends. Also, relevant episode is relevant.

Season 5, Episode 22: What About Discord?

Did this episode WANT things to be left up to viewer interpretation? Whatever the case, it sure paints the ponies (not named Twilight) as oblivious to the comedic Rule of Three, and somehow, Twilight is insane AND sympathetic. Awkward.

Season 5, Episode 23: The Hooffields and McColts

It feels weird to have an environmentalism story sneak up on you when the focus has been so hard on a petty conflict over minor annoyances, but I can roll with it here. What's more odd is a big cake is baked without Pinkie Pie.

Season 5, Episode 24: The Mane Attraction

Rara made me want to joyfully cry, and I would give her all my love and protection! Seamless transition from an extravagant concert parody to a number straight from the heart. Top-tier, without question! BTW, send Svengallop to Tartarus.

Season 5, Episode 25: The Cutie Re-Mark, Part 1

And Starlight's revealed self-interest is brought to the forefront, bringing a finely executed strategy. Aside from that, the exposition gets annoyingly on the nose and long-winded. Could've spared some details. This image, though.

Season 5, Episode 26: The Cutie Re-Mark, Part 2

No point to exploring more than one alternate future when there are no obstacles. It's padding, exacerbated by Twilight being so slow and her telekinesis neglect. And why did young Starlight just stand there all glum? The nonsense!

Film 3: Equestria Girls: Friendship Games

Human Twilight differed from the pony version enough to justify her story. The Shadowbolts are fine rivals, though a few seem to come from a little underuse of the pre-existing character roster, and they get shafted hard at the very end.

[hookedonapirate]

A Date for the Holidays (and everyday too would be nice)

Summary: Tired of the constant backlash from her family about being single, Emma finds herself striking an arrangement with a roguishly handsome stranger at the mall the day after Christmas. Now she won’t have to be alone for the holidays. Emma and Killian agree to be each other’s dates, no strings attached, no commitment, no pressure. Just two friends getting together to appease her annoying family and get his brother off his back. It’s the perfect setup really...until sticking to the holidays isn’t enough. What happens when they both want more?

Holidate AU

A/N: So I watched the Holidate the other night and couldn’t stop thinking about how much fun it would be to turn this into a CS fic. So here we are. This probably won’t be too long, I’ll be getting back to my wips soon, just needed a break, but probably 4 or 5 chapters or so. Hope you enjoy! Thank you to the ladies on Discord for your encouragement and enabling ;-)

Thank you to the lovely @veryverynotgood for beta reading!

Catch up: Ch 1 // Ch 2 // Ch 3 // Ch 4 // Ch 5 // Ch 6 // Ch 7 // Ch 8 // Ch 9 // Ch 10 // Ch 11

Also available on: AO3 // FF.N

Chapter 7

Fourth of July

“See you guys in an hour!” Kristoff waves as he pulls out of the driveway, Anna in the passenger seat and their kids and Elsa's daughter strapped in the backseat.

“Drive safely!” Elsa calls out.

“You got it!”

“Love you, sweetheart!” Elsa waves to her daughter.

“Love you too, Mom!” Daisy waves back.

Her cousins call out, “Bye, Aunt Elsa!”

As the car disappears down the road, the ladies all throw their bags in the trunk of Emma's yellow bug. They could've taken Elsa's vehicle, but Emma insisted her trusty bug is reliable, even though it's old. Besides, Kristoff's parents' lake house is only an hour away.

Playing the part of the doting boyfriend they've made everyone believe, Killian comes up to Emma and wraps his arms around her, kissing her lips. "Bye, baby."

Emma blushes and grins at him as she winds her arms around the back of his neck. Ever since she knocked his socks off in the ladies' room on Mother's Day, their relationship has shifted a bit. And she can't deny that pretending to be Killian's girlfriend is fun. Almost too much fun, in fact.

Killian lowers his hands, giving her ass cheeks a firm squeeze as he dons a big grin. "Have I mentioned how much I love these shorts on you?" he whispers in her ear, obviously not complimenting her for show since no one else can hear him.

"Watch it, buddy. Hands off my sister!" Leo calls jokingly. He doesn't actually have a problem with them being together. In fact, he's happy for both of them. Which is saying something, considering he hated Neal.

"See you soon. Drive safe."

"You too."

Once they part, the ladies hop into the bug as the guys pile into Leo's truck, including Ruby's holidate for the day, Uncle Sam as she calls him.

"Alright, let's go," Elsa says, clapping her hands excitedly.

Emma turns her key in the ignition, and when it doesn't start right away, she tries again. "Don't panic, it always takes the old gal a few times to get moving."

But nothing happens.

"Dammit!" Emma hits the steering wheel in frustration.

Leo pulls up next to the bug, rolling down the passenger window and calling out to her through the open window of his truck. "Everything alright, sis?"

"Her car died," Elsa answers for her. “Can you take us to get mine?"

"Sure, hop in!"

Emma furrows her brows. "But there's no room."

"Relax, it's only a five-minute drive."

Emma’s still hesitant as all four ladies step out of the car and grab their bags, throwing them into the back of Leo's truck, which is already full of the boxes of fireworks he and Killian picked up.

As they make their way to the back seat, Emma's doing the math in her head. They can fit Audrey or Ruby up front between Leo and Sam, but that still leaves four people to sit in the backseat, which only fits three full-grown adults, so that means…

"Emma, you'll have to sit in Killian's lap. That okay with you?" Elsa asks, sliding in next to him.

Ruby climbs into the front seat next to her date because Audrey didn't like the idea of sitting next to a strange man who smells like marijuana. Leo made him store his weed in the glove compartment, but Emma can smell it from outside the truck.

“Hop on, love. I promise I don't bite,” he smirks, patting his lap invitingly.

Emma offers a small smile, gulping as she climbs into the truck and crams herself on his lap, moving around to find a comfortable position. She's not questioning the hospitality of his lap; she's worried about what's in between his lap. The beautiful cock hiding in his shorts—the cock she'd tasted in her mouth and sucked until she was rewarded with his salty, warm cum.

She tries not to think too much about their time in the restroom together, but when Killian stretches the seatbelt around them, strapping her to him and his beautiful cock, and wraps his arms around her stomach, her belly tightens with knots.

This will definitely be a long five minutes.

"Awe, you two are so cute," Elsa beams as she looks over at them. “Aunt Rubes, aren't they cute?"

Ruby cranes her neck to look at them, flashing a smirk. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Leo ignores the comments and takes off down the road.

When they reach Main Street, all of them scan up and down the road, groaning and grumbling. Traffic is basically at a standstill because everyone's either coming or going since it's the Fourth of July weekend, which is very unfortunate since Elsa's house is on the other side of Main Street.

"Hey, sis, you gonna be okay with sitting like that for the hour drive?

Emma glances around the truck, everyone looking at her expectantly. No one else seems to have a problem with it, but then again, none of them have to sit in someone's lap they're painfully drawn to.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Emma laughs it off with a wave and cranes her head to look at Killian. "You okay with that, babe?"

He pulls her into his chest, letting her know exactly how okay he is with her riding in his lap. "I think I'll be alright," he chuckles, finding the question humorous. Then he grabs the hem of her shorts and whispers in her ear, "I don't know, with you in these little shorts, I find it hard to keep my hands off you."

Heat surges through her core, and she has to clench her thighs together.

Fuck.

This is going to be the longest hour of her life.

"Okay, I'm taking the back roads then," Leo announces before doing a U-turn and heading in the other direction.

Emma's comfortable at first, but about twenty minutes later, her body starts feeling stiff, so she leans back a little and turns her head, seeing Killian with his eyes closed. Taking advantage of the situation, she makes her best attempt to stretch out her body, arching her back and sliding slightly down on Killian's lap.

A sharp intake of breath tickles her ear as she feels his hands wrap around her hips. Emma moves around, trying to find the best position when Leo goes over a bump that probably would've knocked Emma out of her seat, if not for the seatbelt.

Emma relaxes again, sinking into Killian's lap, but jerks when she feels something solid underneath her ass. “Did you leave your phone in your pocket?” she asks, lifting herself up a little bit and reaching underneath her, feeling for Killian's phone.

His grip on her hips tightens and he speaks in a hushed tone, his words low and husky. “No—Emma stop, that’s not—”

She chokes on air when she can feel the thick muscle between Killian's thighs that had been slightly prodding her. Heat pools in her belly as she snatches her hand away and tries to pretend everything's normal. If anyone in the truck noticed what happened, no one says a word or gives any indication.

She threads her hands together, placing them in her lap as she tries not to think about Killian's erection pressed to her ass and how much she wants to rock against him, but she wouldn't be able to explain that in front of her family.

Definitely not.

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Thankfully, everyone arrives at the lake house without a hitch and soon, the ladies are chatting on the deck, sipping on Mai Tais. Kristoff is cooking hamburgers on the grill and the other men guzzle down their beers and shoot the firecrackers across the lake. Emma nixes the alcohol and instead drinks a mocktail. She has a feeling she wouldn't be able to keep her hands off Killian by the end of the night with a little liquid courage in her system as she thinks about the drive here and how she had to sit in his lap. Their relationship is shifting, and she's afraid all the excitement from the fourth will cause her to throw caution to the wind. It's bad enough she gave him a blowjob in a public restroom on Mother's Day. She blames it on the mimosa, even though she only drank one.

Killian lights the fuse of an M-80, holding it in his hand. "Ready?"

"Yeah, throw it, man!" Leo encourages, clapping his hands.

Killian casts the firecracker out into the lake, creating an explosion on the water. The men cheer and laugh.

"Now that's how you blow shit up, mate!" Killian hollers like he's a pirate's captain, warding off a threatening ship.

"Yep!" Leo and Sam give him a high-five.

"God bless America!"

"Whooooooah!" Killian cheers, throwing a fist in the air.

Emma rolls her eyes as she watches the scene at the lake and walks across the deck, sinking down into a lounge chair. “What is it about men and explosives?”

“It’s all about the cock,” Aunt Ruby replies, shifting her gaze to her niece.

Audrey furrows her eyebrows as she munches on some chips and dip. “What do fireworks have to do with a man's…anatomy?”

“It’s like jacking off.” Ruby shrugs. “Men live for the orgasm.”

Emma, Anna and Elsa dissolve into laughter at their beloved aunt’s bluntness.

“If they’re not fucking, they’re dreaming about fucking...or blowing stuff up. Next best thing to fucking.”

“Wait…” Audrey scrunches up her nose. “So, they’re all down there right now, thinking about…”

Emma nods, finishing what her brother's fiancé seems to be too proper to say. “Fucking.”

Elsa giggles at Audrey’s wide-eyed expression.

Poor Audrey. Everyone seems to pick on her for being so innocent and stuffy. Her brother is quite the opposite; he's laid back and fun, just like their father. But opposites attract, she supposes.

Another boom disrupts the air, followed by more cheering that's soon drowned out by Killian's screams and a slew of obscenities that pour from his mouth. "Fuuuuuuuuck!"

🧨🧨🧨

Emma shoots up from her chair and darts over to the railing, her heart fluttering with panic as Leo sprints up the small hill and over to the deck, planting his hands on his hips as he catches his breath. “Hey, uh...do we have a first aid kit by any chance?”

Dread creeps into her stomach. “Maybe Band-Aids. Why?”

“Killian, uh…he, uh, just blew off his finger...just a little bit,” he adds casually as if it's no big deal.

“Oh my God!” Emma screeches in fear, running down the stairs as fast as her feet will take her, heart beating erratically.

Kristoff turns away from the grill, remaining cool and collected as if he's been in this situation hundreds of times. But he has three kids, so he's used to dealing with chaos and injuries. He raises his hands, which are donning festive oven mitts. “Alright, everybody, remain calm. Audrey, go get some ice and a baggie. Elsa, find something to make a tourniquet.” He turns toward the lake and calls out, “Do we have the finger?!”

🧨🧨🧨

Killian groans in pain as Emma secures a towel around his hand, and the rest of the adults dig through the sand with toy shovels, searching for his finger.

“Come on, a little hustle, everybody!” Kristoff claps his hands encouraging them to hurry. “We gotta find that finger.”

“Got it!” Leo exclaims, holding it up like a trophy. He runs over to where Audrey is holding out a Ziplock bag of ice and drops it inside.

Killian grimaces as he looks at the bag. “Are you sure that’s mine?”

“He’s in shock,” Kristoff states, because who else’s finger would it belong to? Moving to the other side of Killian, he helps Emma stand him up. “We need to get him to the hospital.”

“I’ll take him,” Leo offers, heading over to his friend.

“No!” Audrey pulls his fiancé back by the shirt. “You're drunk.”

“Kristoff's sober.” Anna points out. “You can drive him.”

Aunt Ruby raises her hand. “We’ll watch the kids!” she announces as her date cheers, dancing drunkenly.

"The kids can tread water, can't they?" Sam asks.

“Nope.” Kristoff shakes his head, letting Elsa take over so Killian doesn't fall over. “No way I’m leaving my kids with those two.”

Anna nods in agreement. “Good call.”

“I'll take him,” Emma announces. "I've only been drinking mocktails."

Leo tosses Emma his keys. "Take my truck."

Emma helps Killian to her brother's vehicle, and once she has him buckled in, she gets in the driver's side.

Leo approaches the passenger door, reaches through the open window and hands Killian the Ziplock bag with the finger in it. He pats him on the shoulder. “You’re gonna be okay, buddy.”

Killian's still slightly drunk, his face pale as he gapes at the bag in shock. “It’s my fuck you finger!” He turns to Leo, starting to panic. “I can’t lose my fuck you finger!”

“Sis,” Leo looks at Emma, “drive safe. His fuck you finger is in your hands.”

“Thanks, no pressure,” Emma remarks sarcastically, trying not to freak out. Killian's bleeding into the towel, his finger's in a bag and it's up to her to find the hospital out here and get him there safely.

Nope. No pressure at all.

She starts the car and carefully but quickly backs the car out of the driveway, holding a conversation with Killian to try and keep her own nerves at bay. “Does it hurt real bad?”

Stupid question.

Of course it does.

Killian shrugs. “Not really, it's kind of like a paper cut.”

Emma tilts her head at him in shock. “Really?”

“No, not really!”

Emma flinches at his volume. “Don’t yell at me!” she screams, on the verge of tears as she tries to keep her cool. “I’m already anxious!” But why is she so anxious? She's not the one who blew off her finger.

“Oh, you’re anxious?!” Killian holds up the bag. “My finger's in a Ziploc bag full of ice!”

“I know and it's really freaking me out. Can you put it in the glove box or something?” she pleads, the sight of his finger making her squeamish.

Killian sinks his head back against the headrest. “Oh, we wouldn’t want you to be freaked out, now would we?” He opens the glove box to put his finger inside, pausing as he spots the small baggie of weed that Sam left in there.

“There’s a lighter in my purse,” Emma tells him when she sees it, thinking it will calm him a bit.

He shakes his head. “I don’t do drugs.”

Emma snort-laughs. “Oh, so you’ll set off explosives while drunk, but you won’t smoke a little marijuana?”

Killian glares at her. “What happened to our no judgments rule?”

Emma raises her hands briefly. "I'm not judging. I'm just trying to lighten the mood here, okay?"

🧨🧨🧨

Emma and Killian dissolve into laughter as they sit on his hospital bed, waiting for the doctor. After inhaling a few puffs from the weed she threw in her purse before helping Killian into the emergency room, Emma's mind is foggy, and she doesn't even care about the smoke billowing up past the curtains around the room.

“Just relax,” Emma says, taking another drag. “I’ve got it all under control.” She places the joint between Killian’s lips, letting him take a turn. He eagerly accepts the joint, taking a slow drag from it. “You don’t have to lift a finger.”

They dissolve into another fit of laughter that's promptly disrupted by a nurse throwing the curtains open.

“Seriously?” she scolds, shaking her head in disappointment.

Emma jumps off the bed, moving to stand to the side as the nurse checks Killian’s vitals.

“I’m too tired to report you.”

Killian sighs in relief. "Thank you, mate."

Emma apologizes, putting the joint out on the plastic chair.

Pointing at the nurse, Killian tilts his head. “I know you from somewhere.”

The nurse shakes her head, not knowing where he would have seen her before.

“Aye, I just can’t…” he looks at Emma and can't help but chuckle at his own joke, “I just can't put my finger on it.”

The nurse rolls her eyes as Emma bursts out laughing again, nearly falling onto the floor. “The doctor will be with you shortly. He’s reattaching a toe.”

“A toe?” Killian reverts his gaze to her. “Wait, a finger must take priority over a toe, right?”

“Sorry.” The nurse says in an unapologetic tone. “If only you’d been a jackass a little earlier in the day.” She flips his chart shut before leaving the room.

Emma's mouth opens in shock. “Wow…” She points at Killian. “You’ve really got her…" she giggles between words, "wrapped...around...your...finger!” She falls onto the bed and places her hand on his shoulder as they laugh once more, this time being interrupted by the doctor.

"Okay," he says, his voice sounding weary as he scans Killian's chart. He's wearing dark blue scrubs and looks awfully familiar. Or is she imagining things?

No, Emma may be a little high, but she's not that stoned.

“Graham?”

The doctor looks up, his eyes clouding over with concern. “Emma? Are you hurt?” He sets the chart on the bed and rushes over to Emma, checking her over.

“I’m fine,” Emma assures as she stands up from the bed, surprised to see him here. “I didn’t know you worked all the way out here.”

“I normally don’t,” Graham explains. “They called me in to reattach a pinky toe.”

Emma giggles, staring at Graham as if he’d hung the moon and the stars. “That’s so amazing.”

Graham shrugs. “It’s a crucial phalange.”

She bursts into laughter again, causing the doctor to chuckle along with her as she playfully shoves his chest. “You’re doing such great work.”

“I’m just doing my part.” Graham smiles, taking her hand in his. “I was a little disappointed I didn’t hear back from you.”

Killian clears his throat. “And I’m disappointed I don’t get to see my favorite bunny suit.”

Graham turns to look at him, releasing Emma's hand as though he's just been caught doing something he's not supposed to, and wags a finger at his patient. “Ah, yes, Killian. From Easter.” He walks over to inspect the bandaged hand. “Sparkler got away from you, did it?”

“It was an M-80, actually.”

Graham lifts the injured hand enough to inspect the severed area, Killian hissing at the pain while Emma avoids looking over at it. “Skin’s a little crispy, but it looks like the bone didn’t shatter,” he confirms after checking the x-ray.

"Thank gods." Killian sighs in relief.

“Hang tight. We’ll get you prepped for surgery.”

“You can fix it?” Emma asks him before looking at Killian. “He can fix it!”

“We’ll see.” Graham chuckles and raises his hand, crossing his index and middle finger. “Fingers crossed.” When Emma and Killian stare at him blankly, Graham lowers his hand. “Tough crowd.”

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

Emma helps a drowsy Killian into his apartment and keeps him steady as he kicks off his sandals. “I’ve got your prescriptions right here.” She holds up the white paper sack with the pain medication Graham prescribed him and sets it on the coffee table. She places her hand on the arm wrapped around her shoulders as she looks around his apartment, noticing how absolutely spotless and clean it is. It looks like something out of a home magazine. “Granny's Diner will be delivering your soup."

"Mm mmm," he hums in approval.

"And…” she eases Killian onto the couch, “I called your brother.”

“Really?”

Emma lifts his legs onto the couch and grabs a blanket, covering him with it.

“What did he say?”

“He didn’t answer, so I just left a message. I told him you had a little accident and that he should probably give you a call.”

“Thanks,” Killian says gratefully as Emma tucks the blanket around him. “I’m really sorry I ruined your Fourth of July.”

She shakes her head and sits on the coffee table. “Holidate rule number three—leave no holidate behind…” She places her hand on Killian’s arm, which is in a sling. “Or their appendages.”

They share a soft laugh as he subconsciously places his hand on hers. Emma's breath catches as their eyes meet and all the air leaves her lungs as she realizes they're practically holding hands. And it's not for show or because they're trying to convince anyone they're a couple.

She laughs nervously, averting her eyes and pulling her hand away. “You should probably get some rest.”

Killian nods in agreement. “Aye, I should.”

Emma leans in to kiss his cheek, finding it extremely difficult to pull away, but forces herself somehow. “Unless you need anything else?”

“Uh…” He scratches behind his ear with his good hand and looks around his apartment as if trying to think of something before his eyes connect with hers again. “No, I think I’m good. I think I'm-" Emma bites her bottom lip and can't help but notice Killian staring at the movement and having to pause from what he was going to say. “I think I’m fine, I’m just really tired.”

“Okay.” Emma finally stands up, tilting her head toward the door. “I guess I’ll just go then.”

“Okay. Goodnight, love.” Killian waves a bit at her as she slowly and awkwardly makes her way out of the apartment, not really wanting to leave just yet, but not having a good reason to stay.

"Night, Killian." Just before reaching the door, Emma changes her mind about leaving and spins around to say something, but the words catch in her throat when she sees he has his head resting on the couch, his eyes closed.

Her heart sinks, but she imagines he's exhausted after the day he's had. She turns around again and opens the door to leave, shutting it quietly so as not to disturb him.

As she's leaving his building, she's surprised to see Liam walking toward her.

And he doesn't look too happy.

"What happened to my brother?" Liam demands curtly as he approaches her, not bothering with any pleasantries.

"Hello to you, too," she retorts snarkily.

He crosses his arms, waiting for her to answer.

Emma hangs her head, toying with her fingers, knowing he'll be even more pissed once he hears what happened. "He blew off his fuck you finger."

Liam's eyes widen, anger spiraling through him. "He what?!"

"We went to a family reunion, and he bought some fireworks with my brother and threw firecrackers out over the water."

"What the bloody hell?!" Liam buries his face in his hands and sighs. "How could he be so stupid?" He lifts his head, glaring at her as if this was all her fault. "How could you let him be so reckless?!"

Emma scoffs, her eyes widening. "Um, excuse me?! I'm not his mother—I'm not even his girlfriend, so why is it my responsibility to be his babysitter?"

He nods and points an accusatory finger at her. "Aye, that's right. You're not his girlfriend. If you were, then maybe you'd actually care about him." As Liam passes her, she gasps in complete and utter confusion, spinning around to glare at him.

"I do care about him!"

He chuckles almost mockingly as he turns around to face her once more. "Oh yeah? If you really cared about him, then you'd cut this holidate bullshit and set him free."

"What the fuck are you talking about? Set him free? I didn't make him do anything!"

"Maybe not, but you're confusing him. He's too much of a gentleman to tell you he wants a serious girlfriend, not someone he can only see on the fucking holidays. You're holding him back from that."

Emma scoffs, not believing he's blaming all of this on her. "Yeah, well, you don't have to worry because I'll never invite him to another holiday again!" She turns around and storms away, lifting both of her fuck you fingers over her head at him.

As soon as she makes it to her brother's truck and climbs inside, tears stream down her cheeks, a mixture of emotions overtaking her—sadness, anger, regret, shame, sorrow—and she sobs against the steering wheel.

As much as she hates Killian's jackass brother and wants to believe he's completely wrong, that she hasn't been holding him back from being in a meaningful relationship, maybe he is right.

Maybe this whole holidate idea has been a complete waste of time.

Maybe she should accept the fact that she's going to be alone and stuck sitting at the kids' table every year for the rest of her life.