#it's also like 100 meters from one of the high schools i went to (probably the best one tbh). which is a fun coincidence | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

haerinari · 8 months

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The train station boy - Wonbin

pairing: stranger!wonbin x fem!reader.

summary: you saw him every single day on the train, he was there always after you finished school. who was this handsome young boy? and why did you wanted to talk to him so badly?

genre: fluff, strangers to lovers.

warnings: none.

LOVE 199 Series: wonbin, sungchan, eunseok, anton, shotaro, sohee, seunghan.

want to keep reading? click here ⬇️

Every single day he was there, you didn’t knew who he was, he wasn’t even in your the same school as you. He had long black hair and big brown eyes, he was tall and was always hearing music.

You didn’t knew his name, but every time he looked at you and gave you that soft smile, made your heart flutter. You “met” this boy on the train station, you said met between quotation marks because you didn’t actually knew him. You knew how he looked, and even how he smelled, even tho that’s kinda weird to know about someone you had never talked before.

He was always by himself, you never saw him getting in the train with a friend or any other people. One thing you knew about this mysterious boy, was that he lived somewhere around your house. He got out of the train in the same station that you did, with the difference that he walked a few more streets than you did to get to your home.

One day you decide trying to talk to this boy of the train. after all, you find him actually very cute, and you didn’t consider yourself ugly, so why not take the risk? This was your last year of high school, and it wasn’t that you were needy for a boyfriend or actually searching desperately for someone, but you thought that it would be cute to have a boy in your life.

When you got to the train station that day, he wasn’t there. 3:35 pm, he was always here by that time. when you got into the train and the doors where about to close, he ran into quickly with a girl and a bouquet of roses in his hands. oh, you thought. of course he had a girlfriend, how someone this good looking wouldn’t have? the girl even tho never kissed him, she was very, very close to him. damn, at least he didn’t reject you directly on your face, it would be embarrassing for you. Even still when the train arrived, he was taking the girl to his house, you guessed.

Weeks passed and you always tried to not look at him like you usually did. he has a girlfriend y/n, if you were his girlfriend you wouldn’t like that a random girl stared at your man for 35 minutes while she was going home, that was what the voice in your head always said. Until you were saying that while staring at his soul, you just literally zone out looking directly at him. he was also looking at you, like trying to guess what did you want or what was happening. but you just looked the other way with your cheeks more red than a tomato. When you were 100% sure that he was not looking at you anymore, you glanced at him, seeing in his face that pretty smile he had.

One night after you went to a friend’s house, like you did usually, you took the train to go home. It was 7:50pm and the next train would be at 8pm. you sat on a bench, plugging your headphones and playing this one song called “Love 119” you discovered a few day ago and you were totally obsessed. A tall figure started to walked near you, the boy from the train. he gave you a soft smile and stopped a few meter away from you, probably he was also waiting for the next train to arrived.

You lowered your music volume, afraid that he would hear how loud you were playing the song. He stand still for a few minutes, after he turned around abruptly, looking at you. you paused the music, waiting for him just say something, but he was just looking, maybe this is how he feels when you stare at him on the train.

“Hi, my name is Wonbin” the boy said, you couldn’t believe he was actually talking to you. “We go in the same train, i always see you there”

“Of course, i have seen you too. My name is y/n, nice to meet you” how did your voice came out so naturally? you were shaking like crazy.

“What are you doing here this late? You always take the train of the afternoon” he said.

“I was at a friend’s house…”

“Ahh i see…” wonbin said, his hands in his pockets. “Cool”

“Yeah, cool” you replied to him.

He turned around again, looking at the train rails. You were ready to play the song again, when he looked at you again.

“Yeah so, i know like that this is super weird and that we don’t know each other. but do you, maybe, wanna hang out sometime?” he said, shaking his head a little due the the nervousness he was feeling.

“I’m sorry to ask you this so straight, but don’t you have a girlfriend?” you told him, remembering the girl of that day.

“What?” wonbin said with a look of confusion on his face.

“I saw you with a girl a couple of weeks ago, a girl and a bouquet of flowers”

“Oh Minji? No no, she’s my sister and the flowers were for my mother. It was her birthday so i was bringing her flowers”

“Shit i’m sorry to assume that, i was going to talk so you that day but-” wonbin cut you.

“You were going to talk to me that day?”

“No, i-” you laughed nervously. “I mean yes, but the girl and the flowers, and yeah, that” you stutter, he laughed.

“Well, now that you know that i don’t have a girlfriend. what do you said about hanging sometime?” wonbin smiled, that smile that you always liked to see at the train.

“Sure, i’ll really like that” how could this be happening? did you waste all this time trying to talk to him when he also wanted to talk to you? this is why you have to take risks sometimes.

“Good” the boy said with a bright and big smile.

“Y/NN! What are you doing” he said jumping over you softly, while you were lying on the bed.

“Won, i’m writing in my diary how we met” you explained with a smile.

“But whyy? You are with me every single day now, you don’t have to write how we met again. besides, i’m sure you wrote that the night it happen.” wonbin said, hugging you from the back.

“Who said a wrote it that night?” you teased.

“You didn’t write about me?” he said with a hand in his chest, acting offended. “Auch” you laughed.

“I’m joking, i’m joking. i just really like to remember that moment.”

“Yeah, i really like to think about it too” wonbin smiled. “Tsk, when you thought i had a girlfriend…”

“And now your sister likes me more than you” you told your boyfriend, sticking your tongue out.

“I’m actually not gonna argue into that”

“It’s because you know i’m right”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now put your pencil down, i came because i want my girlfriend to cuddle me” wonbin said getting comfortable in the bed.

“Awww you’re such a cutie, i love you. Let me finish writing this and i promise all my attention is going to be with you”

“Okay…”

—And after that nigh, wonbin and i started dating. Thanks to that, now i have the best boyfriend in the whole world, and i love him with all my heart—

You put your diary in your table nigh and came closer to Wonbin, letting him out his head in your chest. One of your arms was around his head, allowing your fingers to draw figures on his back and touching his long hair.

“I love you wonbin” you said softly, kissing his head.

“I love you more y/n”

#wonbin #riize love 119 #riize imagines #riize x reader #riize wonbin #park wonbin #love 119 #fluff #wonbin fluff #wonbin x reader #wonbin imagines #strangers to lovers #love #riize #riize fluff #riize scenarios

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ey8508 · 3 years

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Rumors and Secrets: Victor | 李泽言

Note:

R&S for this card (CG above)

Chapter SPOILERS up to Season 2: Chapter 18-21 (read at your own risk)

Contains 5 chapters

Translation isn’t 100% accurate (or include grammar errors)

Every part for LZ’s dialogue would be in “this setting”

Do not repost to any other site (reblog is fine)

Chapter 1 Page 1 It's no exaggeration to say that the name "Li Zeyan" has run through my entire high school era. This "evil fate" probably starts with a 31-point Chinese test paper. I'm Gao Qishan, only 17 years old at that time, but there are so many things that usually interest me. Games, animations, and football are nothing compared than reading a book in a room. But hey, it's a pity that my dad doesn't think so. "I only scored 31 points in the Chinese test, and I'm still here with a hippie smile!" In the study, the old man blew his beard, looking disappointed, "How can my son be so useless!" Page 2 "Your son is very capable. I was the MVP of the basketball game last night!" "Your PPP is useless! You are in the second year of high school, not the second grade of elementary school! You have a 31-point score and you have a face to play basketball? You don't have any shame or a competitive spirit. Do you not want to go to college anymore?!" . I was about to reply impatiently, the old man took out a magazine from somewhere, poked his hand at the cover and yelled at me: "Look at the person. He founded the company at the age of 20. In just two years, he has been on the "Business Rising Stars" cover interview! Look at yourself again, someone who is almost 17 years old and does not have the realization of it, do you want to be in the worst generation in the future, ah?!" Page 3 I'm not happy to hear this: "What's so great about starting a company? Your son, I will start a company in minutes!” "I'm almost out of school, and I started my own company? Oh, I'm going to be better!" The old man raised his head, and the thick magazine almost hit my handsome face. "Learn from others, and don't give me daydreaming here!" Page 4 I grabbed this "Business Rising Stars" with enthusiasm. A decent young man in a suit was looking ahead through the photo. On the cover was a striking headline: "Li Zeyan, an astounding leader in Lianyu City.” "This title is exaggerated!" Even if I was taught by Lao Gao, I was inexplicably better compared with this Li Zeyan, and I just threw the magazine under the sofa. Who wants to learn from him? Just looking at it is a tarnish to my ability! Page 5 But somehow, at night I tossed and turned and I couldn't fall asleep! The more I closed my eyes, the more uncomfortable I was, what did Li Zeyan do. When I turned over for the 100th time, I suddenly sat up. It was a task by old Gao to read the magazine anyway, so I decided to retrieve the magazine and just take a look. After sneaking into the study room, it took me a long time to find the magazine in the innermost part of the sofa. Page 6 "... Although Li Zeyan is only 22 years old, he is already the president of Huarui, an emerging medium-sized company in Lianyu City. Starting from scratch, he started from a small office to now has hundreds of people. Every step he walks is particularly solid and decisive. Li Zeyan’s way of business is beyond ordinary. He is like a lion, born with a King's aura." All these compliments just for this, isn't it just descriptions of someone starting their own company? I just haven't paid much attention to reading. Just relying on my ingenuity, and getting a high score on the tests, it is absolutely nothing when it comes to starting a company. Hmph, just you wait. Chapter 2 Page 1 The university in City A is not only one of the top five in the province, but also the top five in the country. It is a university that I, Gao Qishan was admitted to dignifiedly! How about that, I said I'm absolutely fine. In a blink of an eye, the freshman year has passed. In the past two years, I have also paid a little attention to Huarui. The development has been okay, it has not closed down, and the scale has doubled. It's just normal development. Is it worth the old Gao's praise from time to time? Every time he flipped through a financial magazine and sighed, "You are so young, so good", it sounds a bit too much. Page 2 As the saying goes, "Seeing is believing", I think this sentence is right. Taking advantage of the summer vacation, I decided to apply for Huarui's summer internship to see in person how the company is, just not to waste my talents and financial knowledge. Soon I entered the building, but how can the interviewer in the middle feel a bit familiar, the more I look at it, the more I recognize... Wait, isn't it exactly Li Zeyan?! What's happening, is Huarui going bankrupt? Why is the president personally do the interviewing for the summer interns? Page 3 "Manager Chen has something to do, I happen to be free." Probably my shock expression was too obvious. Li Zeyan flipped through the information at hand and looked up at me blankly. "Gao Qishan? First, briefly introduce yourself." I don't know what's going on. I was so startled by Li Zeyan that I couldn't help but straighten up. After swallowing my throat, I mobilized all my attention, took a deep breath and said, "Hello, my name is Gao Qishan, and I am a freshman in the Department of Economics and Management of the University of City A..." Page 4 After introducing himself, Li Zeyan asked a few more related professional questions. This kind of small question is nothing to me. It seems that Huarui’s interview is nothing more than that. He occasionally knocked his fingers on the table subconsciously, and asked with a deep gaze: "Why do you want to come to Huarui for an internship?" The continuous response made me more and more relaxed. I changed my sitting position and quickly thought about how to deal with this new question. Judging from previous information, Li Zeyan is a person who likes to win at everything. He should appreciate the kind of answers that seem extraordinarily confident, right? Page 5 After carefully thinking about this, I straightened my back and raised my chin and said: Although Huarui is quite a new company, it has grown at an amazing speed, and the achievements it has made so far are obvious to all in the industry. And although I am a freshman student, I think I have a very strong learning ability. In this regard, I have a lot of similarities with Huarui. Therefore, I think Huarui is very suitable for me and will definitely make me grow faster. Of course, I can definitely give back the same freshness and vitality for Huarui. With a confident smile, I finished my speech and waited quietly for Li Zeyan's nod. But to my surprise, a few seconds later I was greeted by a frown from Li Zeyan. Page 6 "It seems that you have confidence in yourself. To be a man and to do things really requires self-confidence, but everything must be controlled." Li Zeyan stared at me and said in a hurry, "Only by maintaining reflection and introspection can we truly make progress." I understood his words, and my face flushed. A few days later, I really received a notice from HR (Human Resources) and I didn't get hired. Page 7 Although I had a foreseeable result from Li Zeyan's remarks, when I really received a reply and recalled the interview scene, I was still very angry. After my sophomore year, I went back to the final exams and tried to fight for the first place. I'll make sure that my ambitions are not just mere words. I have written down the "new hatred and old hatred" on my notes. I will definitely use the shortest time to create my own territory, leaving Huarui far behind! Chapter 3 Page 1 Today is the first day of my "Yuanshan Group" moving to a new building. Morning light came in from the spacious floor-to-ceiling windows, and I stood by the desk, proudly holding on to the brand-new office chair. In the next semester of the junior year, I used the dividends I participated in the project as the start-up capital, and I didn't need a penny higher than the old one, so my "distant mountain" just rose from the ground. Isn’t it just 20-year-old to start a company from scratch? What's the difficulty? When I founded Yuanshan, I was exactly 21, and the rounding is almost the same as Li Zeyan. Because of this, my old man, Lao Gao stopped training me long ago, and I guess he must have praised me secretly. Page 2 In just a few years, Yuanshan has grown from a small company of eight people to a scale that now occupies a seven-story high-end office building, and the suffix has also changed from "company" to the word "group". To be honest, my founder is very satisfied with Yuanshan's growth. Although there is still a certain distance from Huarui, after all, they are also developing along the way, but it doesn't matter, I am still young, and sooner or later I can catch up. It didn't take long before the opportunity to "catch up" came. Page 3 I was originally interested in the land to the north of Lianyu City. When I heard that Huarui was also planning to bid on that land, I became more interested. The Lianyu Municipal Government intends to develop the somewhat hindered northern side. At present, construction has begun to build a crossing bridge and a shopping mall, and this piece of land is nearby. "It is more than enough to build a six-star resort with 18,000 square meters and the supporting facilities can be added. Maybe Huarui made the same idea." I have paid attention to the recent developments of Huarui and have invested in four resort hotels one after another. The senior management of the company also agreed that the land is worthwhile, and if it can be won within the highest valuation of 89 million yuan, it should make a profit without losing it. Page 4 A month later, I came to the auction site with confidence. Sitting in front of me at ten o'clock is Li Zeyan, the president of Huarui in a suit and leather shoes. After a few years of absence, I can finally compete with him. On the stage, the auctioneer gave an impassioned introduction to the land, and then said in a melodious tone: "The starting price is 35 million, and the auction will begin now!" As soon as the voice fell, several companies immediately raised their signs. But my opponent is Huarui. It is still early, so I have to wait for Huarui to make a move. Page 5 When the bidding became increasingly fierce, Li Zeyan finally raised his placard for the first time: "60 million." The opponent finally appeared, and I immediately raised the number plate: "61 million." As if he was just encountering an ordinary bidder, Li Zeyan never answered with words, but raised his placard again: "70 million." I continued to chase: "71 million!" Side to the front, Li Zeyan seemed to raise his eyebrows slightly. After a few seconds, he raised the number plate again, and said: "80 million." Page 6 "81 million!" As if finally realizing my bite, Li Zeyan glanced at me slightly sideways, then he raised the number plate, the noise was low and clear: "90 million." This figure has already exceeded the company's highest valuation, and the assistant quietly tugged on my sleeve, beckoning me to forget it. But if I really give up on this, I still feel no sigh of relief in my heart. The auctioneer has already shouted in front: "90 million twice." Page 7 "100 million!" My voice came out, at the last moment. Of course, Li Zeyan finally gave me a straight look. I watched his hand nervously, and saw that the number plate was never raised again, and the auctioneer had already shouted excitedly: "One hundred million! Yuanshan Group has come out of one hundred million! One hundred million once! Three hundred million!, make a deal!" Page 8 Finally got it! Such a valuable piece of land I believe it will be a great help to Yuanshan, and it’s just around the corner to get rid of Huarui. I didn't even consider the cost of 100 million yuan. I just felt that my body was comfortable and exuberant, and the bright prospects were beckoning me. When Li Zeyan passed by me, my triumphant pride couldn't stop. "Thanks to Mr. Li for the bidding this time." Page 9 Li Zeyan put his suit jacket on one hand, and passed by me. I thought he would argue with me back, but Li Zeyan just raised his eyebrows uninterested, and then strode away without looking back. Okay, as the winner of the auction, I allow the loser to occasionally gaffe. Just when I was gearing up to do a big job, the Finance Department urgently sent a bad report. Due to my "passionate bidding", Yuanshan's capital chain suddenly had a problem. Chapter 4 Page 1 I urgently convened a high-level meeting, and after several discussions, the best solution at present turned out to be to invest in Huarui! Personally speaking, I have a hundred reluctances in my heart. Not long before the auction, I took the initiative to bow to Hua Rui. Didn't that slap me in the face severely. However, the cruel reality lies in front of us. Yuanshan is not only my own person, but also the collective effort of hundreds of employees. To let Yuanshan survive this crisis steadily, I can only and must "take the initiative to surrender" to Huarui. Forget it, "vote" just "vote"! Although it was a mistake in my decision-making this time, Yuanshan's development prospects are so good that Li Zeyan should never not invest as long as his eyes are correct. Page 2 However, the negotiation process is still more difficult than I expected. It is not that Huarui has no intention to invest, but almost all the conditions listed are on the lowest line of the distant mountains. "If I remember correctly, the creditworthiness of Huarui's previous investment in the gaze lock company is not very high." I fought hard against the low pressure, and Yuanshan's creditworthiness has always been in the top four in the industry. "...with Yuanshan's creditworthiness Huarui's right to speak will definitely be improved. I think Mr. Li can think about it again." Page 3 "Do you think you are still eligible to negotiate terms with me?" Li Zeyan straightened his mouth, exuding deterrence, "...Huarui Investment in Yuanshan is not for charity, and has no obligation to pay for your suicidal behavior." He raised his hand and glanced at his watch, with a hint of impatience on his face: "Think carefully about it yourself." The long negotiation was finally over. Although Yuanshan and Huarui finally reached a cooperation intention, the whole process failed me. I thought I was about to be on the same line of competition with Li Zeyan, but I was beaten back to the former "interviewer" again. Page 4 By the area downstairs in Huarui, I was smoking a stuffy cigarette, and suddenly there was a faint sound of footsteps behind me. It turned out to be Li Zeyan. Although he was still expressionless, the murderous aura and arrogance from the negotiations seemed to have diminished. Li Zeyan steadily walked to my side: "Gao Qishan, I remember you once came to interview for a summer internship." I didn't expect Li Zeyan to take the initiative to speak. I was surprised. He said: "Several years have passed, and it seems that self-confidence is increasing." If it wasn't for my lose, I stood up slightly: “Although I made a mistake this time, as far as the strength of Yuanshan is concerned, I have the capital to be confident." Page 5 "Yuanshan's strength is indeed pretty good, but don't rush to eat the cakes that you can't eat for the time being. Being high is far from a long-term plan for enterprise development." Li Zeyan said lightly, and took out a card from his pocket and handed it to me, "There will be a practical business forum in Lianyu City next week. You can come and listen when you have time." A practical business forum? What do you mean, is he mocking me for being too pragmatic? The inexplicable enthusiasm and self-esteem suddenly appeared, and I blurted out: "Mr. Li, even if Yuanshan is really not as good as Huarui now, there is no need to humiliate people like this, right?" Page 6 Li Zeyan frowned: "What are you talking about?" He paused, his eyes sinking, "I thought you would be an opponent you could look forward to, but I didn't expect the vision to be just like that." Without additional explanation, Li Zeyan turned and walked away after speaking. I was stunned, looking at Li Zeyan's steadily leaving behind, I couldn't help but relive the conversation just now in my mind. Could it be that Li Zeyan meant that because he regarded me as a potential opponent and hoped that this opponent could become stronger and more competitive, did he propose to let me participate in the business forum? Page 7 That's right, it seems that only such an explanation can make sense! Thinking of this, I couldn't help blowing a whistle. After all, it was an "imaginary enemy" and pursuit of goals since the age of 17, which can be affirmed and recognized by Li Zeyan. It is simply an easter egg that comes with the negotiation, and it is worthy of the old man to praise me ten times. I was being silly and happy. Suddenly my fingers hurt, I have forgotten about my cigarette that was about to burn my fingers! Chapter 5 Page 1 With Huarui's capital injection, Yuanshan passed the crisis steadily. After more than half a year, the foundation of the resort has gradually taken shape. Just when everything seemed to be going in a good direction, early this morning, the news of "the crash of the president of Huarui" directly bombed all major platforms. Reminiscent of the so-called "homicide list" that was suddenly leaked on the internet a few days ago, I inexplicably feel that these two things may have some connection. Who on earth wants Huarui to sink in the water? Wait a minute, which company announced the list. Could it be that their person in charge is secretly playing tricks? Page 2 Before I could find anything out of my investigation, within a few days, the news of "Which company claims that Huarui has maliciously acquired a large number of pharmaceutical companies" once again detonated all platforms! "Deliberately monopolizing the pharmaceutical market will inevitably cause the price of medicines to rise, which is obvious." "Just for profit, this behavior is very bad!" "Even Huarui's own workers and can't stand it, which shows how terrible Li Zeyan's actions are!" Page 3 Opinions on the Internet are divergent, and public grievances are boiling, and they all accuse Huarui. But I don’t believe it. Although I have only met Li Zeyan several times in person, for so many years, because I have always regarded him as an opponent and target, I have studied Huarui and Li Zeyan’s behavior more than anyone else. The nonsense on the Internet, I don't believe a word! I browsed the web quickly, staring at the almost identical title and searched viciously. Page 4 "Huarui’s reputation plummeted, Li Zeyan fell into a situation where everyone was clamoring and angry, and the heads of the company was clearly cut off from him." In the video, the host's voice kept ringing into my ears. All the signs made me firmer in my previous thoughts: It must be looking at which company is crossing the river to demolish the bridge! I immediately called the assistant to the inside line: "How much do you hire me for a large number of naval forces? How many can you hire? How many! That's right, I have to spare no effort to clarify for Huarui, and by the way, I will focus on the company. Going right now!" I know that this "bad strategy" and only a small help but I haven't beaten Li Zeyan righteously, how could Huarui have an accident in such a situation! What I want is not the taste of winning without a fight. Page 5 Probably because of anger, I couldn't help but send a message to Li Zeyan: The outside world said that Huarui's energy is exhausted. You will not be reduced to the point where you still need to borrow money from me, right?" This message was sent, and I did not expect Li Zeyan to reply to me. However, when it was almost midnight, I suddenly received an email from Huarui. ‘Huarui has always been a responsible company, and will do what it says without fear of any storms. Now everything is running normally, you don't need to worry about it.’ Signer: Li Zeyan. Page 6 Looking at this email, I couldn't help but smile in the middle of the night. Also, Huarui has always been fighting steadily, and Li Zeyan has never fought unprepared battles. Maybe he is playing a big move. Otherwise, how can I say that he is my respectable and close opponent! As for my secret match with Li Zeyan. Give me another three or four years to see who wins and who loses.

#rumors and secrets Victor #mr love queens choice #mr love queens choice victor #love and producer #love and producer li zeyan #mr love victor

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facets-and-rainbows · 4 years

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Blue Exorcist 10th anniversary book Q&A session

The 10th anniversary book has a section where Katoh answers 100 questions submitted by fans on Twitter, so here they are translated/paraphrased! May contain manga spoilers up to the recent flashback arc, so be warned.

(Note that I’m playing it very fast and loose here because there are A HUNDRED OF THEM, so not exact wordings, but it should capture the gist. Lemme know if there are any you want elaborated on)

1. Katoh likes the feel of traditional drawing more than digital but is impressed with how far digital has come

2. Meph THOROUGHLY ABUSES spacetime to watch all his shows and ensure that he gets all the merch he wants

3. Did the girls take all of Yukio’s school uniform buttons in middle school? Yes, they did (apparently it’s like A Thing for girls to ask for a button from their crush at middle school graduation, based on some sad movie from the 60s where a guy who got drafted as a kamikaze pilot gave a girl one of his uniform buttons to remember him by)

4. Rin's tail is about a meter long

5. There are tons of servants working at Mephisto's mansion. Belial is in charge of them

6. Katoh borrows from all sorts of neat real locations when making settings

7. Katoh identifies with pretty much all the characters the most! Except Lucifer.

8. Demon designs she's proud of include the impure king and hachirou, pretty much anything that was the main one in an arc

9. Katoh lists a bunch of her favorite musical artists/music she’s listening to recently: King Gnu, Official Hige Dandism, Kenshi Yonezu, BAD HOP, Sakanaction, Keyakizaka 46, Hypnosis Mic, Aimer, B’Z, Queen Bee.

10. Awww the rabbit manga that characters are often reading isn't just Robo to Usakichi, it's an even older one that she drew as a little kid

11. She likes industrial style interior designs

12. Rin and Yukio alternated who got the top bunk growing up, because they couldn't agree on it lol

13. Katoh cares a whole lot about panel layouts and speech bubble positions, might even be her favorite part of the process (it shows!)

4. Katoh does NOT have a mashou, lol

15. Rin has probably been practicing in secret so he can learn to carry stuff with his tail

16. Izumo probably got into shojo manga around 1st grade, her mom had some around the house

17. Specialty dishes: Rin - lots of stuff but especially nabe Yuri - stuff you can throw together quickly Shiro - stuff he learned from Yuri and/or cookbooks, alongside teaching Rin Yukio - Does. Not. Cook.

18. Can't pick a favorite place she's been on research, but there's no place like Japan

19. Kinzou's band isn't currently meeting because demons, but he's probably still thinking of new songs

20. Hardest characters to draw: anyone with detailed flowing hair. Hardest to write for: Lightning and Gedouin. She had to go read books about serial killers specifically for material for Gedouin, lol

21. Suguro actually gets a dorm room to himself, though allegedly Yukio is technically assigned as his roommate, lol. Didn't end up that way what with Yukio being a teacher and also Rin’s whole...situation

22. Shiemi makes some of her own hair accessories! Cute

23. Katoh doesn't mind if you include stuff with fan letters but check with the editor first

24. Time for making each chapter: Planning/storyboarding: 1-5 days. Sketching: 3-5 days. Drawing/inking: the rest. Just...the rest of the time

25. Neither Suguro nor Izumo have dated before and neither is currently dating. But that's probably just because things were hectic for them! It could happen

26. Yukio breaks 5 or 6 pairs of glasses a year, someone get this kid a strap or something

27. How many spare glasses does Yukio have? Check the fanbook lol it's in there (dang it Katoh)

28. The demon she wants us to pay the most attention to is Lucifer. Because plot.

29. What's under the Order's big meeting table? It's a BOTTOMLESS PIT and if you fall in it you DIE that's what makes it COOL (laughs)

30. What are the job requirements for the angelic legion? Literally just Arthur liking you and inviting you to join

31. She WANTS to do more character profiles but just hasn't gotten to it

32. Rin's tail feels like a cat tail, texture wise

33. The "red Assiah fire" is literally just actual fire nothing special

34. Rin's current hair color is light blue fading to white at the ends

35. Thoughts on Rin's growth: she likes that he stays positive in awful situations and she also thinks it's very main character of him to face the past instead of avoiding it

36. Mephisto didn't purposely surround Rin with stuffed animals when he woke up after going crispy. Mephisto's bed is just Like That

37. Kurikara was based on a cool sword she found in a sword book, but that one was technically just a ceremonial sword. The symbol on it us a Sanskrit letter kaan (sp?) associated with Fudou Myouou

38. Kuro can communicate with normal cats and hangs out with them often

39. Sometimes Shiemi's skirt is extra fancy around the hem what's up with that? Apparently it's an optional accessory that comes with the skirts help I haven't noticed this and don't know any fashion terms in any language

40. When coloring, Katoh always tries to have an overall theme in mind ("emphasis on blue" etc) so it comes together in the end

41. Yes the twins are genetically related to Shiro because of Goro (she says they're like his nephews but I say GENETICALLY at least they'd be indistinguishable from his children)

42. Strongest mom of all the strong moms around here? Yuri! Did you SEE her give birth??

43. Are you careful about your own health Katoh-sensei? Not particularly! Her mom has had to bring her food at work sometimes! Don't do this at home kids

44. At the dating events Shura goes to, does she drink cocktails in moderation? Yeah, she probably downplays her normal drinking habits at these things. But normally she's down for just about any kind of drink

45. Lucifer just really likes oysters okay

46. How many pages of manga does Katoh draw in a day? If she's being good about self-care: three. Maximum number ever: TEN

47. Mephisto is one of those folks who can eat like a garbage compactor and never gain weight. Possibly because his body resists that sort of change the same way it resists aging etc

48. First food Rin cooked: fish burger type patty. Yukio's favorite things Rin cooks: fish simmered in soy sauce, yellowtail with daikon radish. It's fish all the way down

49: Did Rin ever get more monthly allowance from Mephisto? It doubled! He gets TWO 2000 yen bills now (rip) [T/N: That's uh, that's USD $37.26 a month or 33.10 euro]

50. Why isn't Rin more popular with the girls? He gets nervous talking to them, plus he's too oblivious to notice even if he DID have some fans

51. Why change Suguro's hair? She gets bored with keeping everything the same, and she wanted a visual representation that he was getting serious and going into kind of a training arc

52. Things Katoh pays extra attention to when drawing: trying to capture the feel of whatever she's drawing (like "that looks warm and soft" or "I bet that guy stinks" cough Lightning cough)

53: Does Rin take after Yuri more? (He's got her eyes!) Katoh tried to draw Yuri so she looks like both twins. Personality, too - Yukio has her smarts and Rin has her optimism

54: Do you ever wanna be like Mephisto? Well she'd like to be able to get away with just ANYTHING EVER, but no, let's not be like Mephisto

55. Konekomaru not only carries around a cat toy in case he meets any cats, he MAKES cat toys to carry around based on what he thinks the cats would like

56. How'd you come up with Shima? Go read the fan book!

57. Do the kids have Twitter/Instagram accounts? Rin - probably not. Konekomaru might be on some social media. Paku and Izumo are totally on instagram

58. Is there something Rin makes that you wish you could try? All of it! That's the whole idea! He's good at cooking!

59. Will we ever have a (G-rated) reveal of what ALL of Mamushi and her family's tattoos look like? Maybe! She'll think about it

60. Does Arthur have a repertoire of different hairstyles? Not really, he just puts some of it up on the top. Heck he might even have people to do that for him

61. If you wrote a shojo manga what would it be about? She'd have to do a lot of research before even coming up with a story, since there are so many style differences between the genres aside from just the subject

62. The other two of Mephisto's top 3 favorite foods: Cup ramen and....f-fried bubblegum?? Is that a THING???

63. Where do you start when drawing a character? Usually the outline of their face but if it's a complex pose/composition she'll start with whatever's in the foreground (like hands)

64. If Katoh could have a familiar, what demon would she choose? Mephisto. As the all-powerful author, she might actually be able to command him as a familiar!

66. If you swapped Yukio and Rin's relationship around what would change? not much, you'd pretty much have Rin going to the Illuminati and Yukio going to the past

67. Top 3 foods/souvenirs to try in Kyushu? Well she doesn't know what’s good CURRENTLY but when she was there she always used to like burdock tempura udon, hakata torimon (a kind of manju with white bean paste inside), and Chikae style cod roe. today I learned Katoh went to high school in Kyushu

68. Katoh listens to music a lot while she's storyboarding, then when she and the assistants are all drawing and inking they put various videos/movies and stuff on in the background

69. For all his hitting on girls, is Shima actually popular with the ladies at all? He's got enough girls in his life that he probably COULD find a girlfriend if he really wanted, but the double agent thing tends to get in the way. He still wouldn't be as popular as Yukio though (side thought/translator’s note: Shima would be proud of being number 69.)

70. Katoh has the ending planned out in a big-picture way, but there are still a few details here and there that she's fretting over

71. It's cute when the boys put their ties over their shoulders when they're working on something! Where'd that come from? She just figured a tie might get in the way and that seemed like a realistic way to get it out of the way

72. Looks like Yukio is getting some facial hair! What about Rin? They're both about the age for it, but maybe Rin can't grow a beard yet. Maybe a little peach fuzz here and there

73. Katoh's favorite blue exorcist merch? There were some exorcist licenses a while back, and the exorcist pins. Basically it's really cool that these little accessories she drew ACTUALLY EXIST NOW, LIKE YOU CAN HOLD THEM IN YOUR HANDS

74. Okay realtalk how long do we have left, I don't want the series to end yet? We're solidly in the second half by now but it's not, like, ABOUT to end yet

75. Katoh would be a Knight meister, based on what characters she likes to play in games and such

76. How many people in the whole exorcism cram school? More than you think! She doesn't give a number but apparently licensed exorcists also attend classes for new meisters, etc, so there's a wide age range attending

77. How's Arthur feel about, like, studying Taming on the way to becoming Paladin? He's at least mostly accepted that you have to use demons to fight demons effectively

78. Konekomaru started wearing glasses in his first year of middle school, so like 7th grade (more recent than I thought!) He has one spare pair, in contrast to Yukio lol

79. Katoh's current obsessions? Ghost/scary stories! She's even been going to live readings of them recently

80. Media Katoh consumes for inspiration? A wide range of foreign teen drama, horror/suspense, shojo manga, light novels, anime, etc. Special focus on things where two boys are in conflict or there are brothers involved

81. If they weren't exorcists what jobs would they have? Rin - chef. Yukio - doctor. Shiemi - uh, florist?

82. Inspiration for the design of True Cross Town? Katoh and her assistants gathered up a bunch of references, picked out stuff they felt matched the tone, and mashed them all up together

83. Did you use any references etc for the school/exorcist uniforms? She says she probably should have but she just kind of made them up before publication

84. Favorite part of drawing? For color pages, picking out a color scheme. For black and white, drawing in all the little details (though she doesn't always get time to lately)

85. Once again confirms the demon kings' weird hair is a representation of their horns. ADDS THAT PEOPLE WHO CAN'T SEE DEMONS CAN'T SEE THE WEIRD HAIR

86. Now that Yukio's at the Illuminati, where's he gonna get his Jump SQ and spare glasses? Well he probably never planned to stay for long, but hey it's a big ship and they might have an optometrist and/or newsstand there

87. Do you base the demon characters on any references etc? Not really, she just gets a general idea of popular demon designs and then makes up her own in her own style

88. Merchandise Katoh personally wants to have made: stuff that an adult could just use in their day to day life. Also, it's not gonna happen, but if her favorite figure brand made AoEx figures she could die happy

89. If Beelzebub's host body was a beautiful woman, how would Shima react? Would the womanizing win out over the bug phobia? Katoh replies that Shima would probably just faint from being near a girl that pretty, before the bugs even got involved

90. Will the twins ever get to smile and eat dinner together again?? We'll just have to wait and see!

91. What do you check at a "scenario check"? what's a scenario check man I dunno They check for people being out of character or the setting feeling off. They had a lot of these checks for the anime, but they also do them for the drama CD, games, and all that other stuff where multiple authors are involved

92. Why does Shura use baldy as an insult for people who are clearly not bald? She feels like they have some kind of metaphorical, mental kind of "baldness" and she's calling them out on it. Whatever that means

93. After Blue Exorcist ends, what do you want to draw next? She has SO MANY IDEAS, SO MANY

94. Did Katoh make up the Shinto chants that, for example, Izumo used against Gedouin? They're assembled from bits of actual Shinto prayers according to what feels right in the scene

95. Yukio reads the Jump SQ, right, and, just hear me out here, he likes gag manga, right? Does this mean he reads Salaryman Yukio? It's something he would read, but let's say that in the AoEx universe there's just a very similar manga that he finds oddly relatable

96. What do Yukio and Shima do in their free time on the Dominus Liminus? oh my god you guys this ship has so many amenities. Yukio probably spends time reading in the library, which they totally have. There's also, like, a gym, and a movie theater, and a THEATER theater, all of which are free. Shima probably hangs out at the pool (!) and goes to the movies, and hits on illuminati girls, lol

97. Easiest character to draw? The ones with boring simple hair, lol. Lightning gets an honorable mention for ALSO not having eyes in most shots, but Rin wins--he was specifically designed to be easy for Katoh to draw because that's what you want in your main character

98. How do demons understand gender? They just possess whatever feels like the best match to how they feel in Gehenna, whether that's a man, or a woman, or a rat, or whatever

99. Where do you start when you're coming up with a story? She starts with character design and how the characters relate to each other. Currently she's just continuing an existing story, so she works on splitting up the overall plot into episodes and fleshing it out with scenes and information about characters

100. When do you feel most happy? She honestly feels like she lives a very happy life overall. Mentions noticing a lot of little things, like how nice her cats' heads smell when she cuddles them or taking a nice cold refreshing drink of water. There's happiness in everything. aww.

#blue exorcist #interview #Ao no Exorcist #translation

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harvestleaves · 4 years

Text

Role Reversal

Prompt: Hi, i'm in love with your out of breath series and i have a prompt If you can write It please. Carlos, for some reason has problems breathing in a scene with the 126, so it’s time for TK to help him. Thank you ❤️

A/N: Happy one year to the Out of Breath ‘verse!! This time it’s Carlos’ turn! He has an allergy induced asthma attack. It was fun writing Carlos, I love his character and I feel that there definitely needs to be more on his background. This is also posted on Ao3 here.

Rating: G

Word Count: 1,399

Carlos always had seasonal allergies, and there were times he couldn’t go on his elementary school field trips to local farms due to his allergy to hay and horses. Needless to say, springtime was usually the one season that he was out of commission due to his sinuses. But since he’d met TK in the middle of the summer, his boyfriend had yet to see him get more than just a cold.

But now, it was late March and all the flowers and trees were starting to bloom again in Austin, and Carlos’ eyes itched. It had started out early on patrol with his partner, Derek McCoy, and the other officer handed Carlos a Benadryl and a water silently before focusing back on the road when he saw the younger male rubbing furiously at his eyes.

Carlos was thankful for the allergy pill. It had calmed his itchy eyes, but his head now felt like it was stuffed full of cotton and his sinuses ached from the amount of congestion he was experiencing.

And to top it off, he was now wheezing.

Carlos couldn’t remember the last time his allergies had given him respiratory symptoms, and because of that, he knew for a fact that the inhaler in his desk back at the precinct with his name on the label was at least two years expired, and thus no good. His mama would kick his ass for not keeping his medications filled if she knew of his stupidity.

Shaking his head with a wheezy laugh at the thought, he raised an eyebrow when they got a call over the radio for them to head to a car crash on the highway.

“You good to go? You sound like shit,” Derek frowned as he looked at his partner in concern before he flicked the lights and siren on.

“Does TK know about your allergies? Or the fact that you have allergy induced asthma?”

“It hasn’t acted up in a few years, and plus, it’s only a problem during allergy season. It’s not the same,” Carlos grumbled with a pointed look over at McCoy.

“Hypocrite. You want your boyfriend to be open to you about his asthma and you won’t tell him that you have allergy induced asthma? How exactly is that fair to him?” Derek asked the younger man curiously as he pulled their cruiser up to the scene of the crash, raising an eyebrow at the trails of smoke rising from each of the vehicles before he spared Carlos a second glance.

Hopping out to help his partner with traffic and crowd control, Carlos stifled a cough into his elbow, wincing at the high pitched wheeze and rattle that his lungs produced. He sounded like TK the few times he’d had to take his boyfriend to the ER for his own asthma, and he knew he probably needed a breathing treatment to open up his lungs, but his pride was keeping him from admitting his weakness.

Maybe he was a hypocrite. How could he expect TK to be open and honest with him when he never even explained to his boyfriend how he already knew how to operate an inhaler, or how he could put a nebulizer together in his sleep? He hadn’t had a relationship before this one with TK that had lasted longer than a few weeks, so it never really crossed his mind to explain his personal heath history with his boyfriend.

Carlos figured he’d talk to TK about it later, he had a job to do in the meantime.

Spotting the 126 rolling up to the scene, Carlos couldn’t hide the dopey smile that fell across his face when he spotted TK hop out of the firetruck to help Judd get the victims out of the cars before he quickly turned back to his work with a blush.

___________

The call went pretty quickly, with no serious injuries for either of the drivers involved, which TK was always thankful for. Once he helped Marjan and Mateo load the gear back onto the rig, he made his way over to Carlos to talk to his boyfriend. He was glad the two of them only had about an hour left in their shifts, one of the few days that their shifts lined up perfectly.

However, the closer he got to his boyfriend, the more he realized there was something wrong with the other male. Carlos’ usually tanned face looked pale, and his eyes were slightly bloodshot. But the most concerning thing to TK was the awful wheezing coming from his boyfriend, and the way his shoulders seemed to heave with every breath made TK wince internally.

“Hey babe, you feeling okay?” TK asked softly as he reached out a hand to Carlos’ bicep to squeeze it in concern.

“H-hey Ty. Yeah, ‘m fine. J-just allergies, y’know?” Carlos explained, trying to stifle a round of coughs that were making their way up his throat, but he couldn’t keep them down.

The next bought of coughs had Carlos doubled over, hands resting on his knees as he wheezed for breath that didn’t seem to want to enter his lungs and his heart started racing in panic. He hadn’t had an attack this bad since he was a kid, his allergies typically only ever made him sneezy with the occasional wheeze, not full-blown respiratory distress like he was currently experiencing. And it terrified him.

The only comfort Carlos found in that moment was TK’s soothing voice and the firm hand over his back as his boyfriend kept him upright, calling over Carlos’ partner.

Derek made his way over to them with a frown and crouched down in front of Carlos.

“He’s got allergy induced asthma. Seasonal allergies started kicking in today. He took some Benadryl this morning and I thought it helped. Check his pockets, I know he carries your spare inhaler around.”

TK nodded and quickly patted down Carlos’ pants, a sigh of relief leaving his lips when he pulled out the inhaler and quickly shook it up before pressing it to his boyfriend’s lips.

“C’mon ‘Los. Take a deep breath for me babe,” TK whispered softly into Carlos’ ear, as the other man took a shaky breath of the medication, letting it out in a harsh wheeze before another round of coughs shook his body.

“That’s it, let it all out. Can you try another puff for me?”

Carlos nodded slightly at TK’s question and inhaled another breath of the medication, letting it settle into his lungs for an extra few seconds before he shakily let it out, leaning his bodyweight into TK.

“There we go, catch your breath. I think you’re still gonna need a breathing treatment. I think you should go to the hospital for it though,” TK said softly as he ran his fingers through Carlos’ curls gently, looking up as Captain Vega made her way over to them with Tim and Nancy.

“Hey guys. Carlos needs to get taken in, allergy induced asthma attack. He took two puffs of albuterol but he’s still wheezing and could use a treatment,” TK explained as they loaded Carlos onto a gurney and Tim slid an oxygen mask onto his face along with a pulse-ox meter onto his left hand.

“Sats are in the mid 80′s, and I’ve got him on 100% O2. I’ll get him on a neb in the rig. Do you want to ride with him?” Tim asked TK, noticing how he still looked shaken up over seeing his boyfriend unable to breathe.

“Yes. Because once he’s better, he needs to tell me why he didn’t tell me he also has asthma.” TK nodded firmly with a pointed look at his boyfriend.

“It slipped my mind. H-haven’t had an attack this bad since I was little. And none of my relationships lasted long enough for them to find out about allergies, let alone asthma. I didn’t wanna get judged,” Carlos explained tiredly, a wheeze trailing his words as he looked groggily up at TK.

“Baby. You know I am the last person who will ever judge you for having asthma. I love you, and nothing about you will ever change that.” TK whispered softly as he pressed a kiss to Carlos’ forehead before hopping into the ambulance with him, squeezing his hand gently. Both a signal and a promise that he would always be there.

#911 lone star #911 lone star fic #911 lone star fanfic #tarlos #tarlos fic #Carlos Reyes #tk strand

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sainadazai · 3 years

Text

Chapter 2

There was a certain essence of security in the fact that one kid would be sent home today, still there was a horrible feeling inside you that you'd be the one leaving.

There was no reason for you to fail, Mr.Aizawa didn't seem to be singling anyone out, though.

That alone made you nervous, if he didn't have someone specific in mind, then it was free reign whoever would be booted at the end of the day.

Bakugou threw a softball more than seven hundred meters, you were sure your primary school record was less than 30 meters. With your quirk you didn't need dense muscle, it required lean muscle and mostly on your back.

Manipulating the state of matter in metal wasn't really difficult, but lifting it with your mind was.

Even more, it was especially hard to keep it in its semi-liquid state while you manipulate it. Cause many people have conjuring quirks, hell probably somebody in this class had a quirk that could make things, yours was just also limited to one specific material.

It took a long time to perfect your own unique fighting style. You didn't wanna be like cementoss, or Best jeanist, although they were great heroes.

Being a carbon copy of a hero that already has existed served no joy to you, you were y/n, and that's who the world oughta know.

Was that really gonna help you now, though? What were these eight tests he was talking about?

test one: 50 meter dash

Should be easy enough, why use your quirk on something you already excelled in during school. Y/n L/n - 100 meter dash - 12.67 seconds. It couldn't be hard to half that at least, maybe even quarter it, you wouldn't use your quirk here.

You really need to stop underestimating people, in your heat, the first at that, were Tenya Iida and Tsuyu Asui. The boy was well built, muscular, tall and his legs seemed to have engines in them. He was sure not a good match to make you seem strong or fast.

The girl had long, green hair and beautiful round eyes, she seemed to have some sort of frog hybrid quirk. Probably much faster than you as well. Not really the best time to second guess yourself, you already assessed this test. No quirk. Don't waste your energy.

Ugh, but shouldn't heroes go a hundred percent all the time? God this was infuriating.

"Go"

Well, there you have it, first day and you're already overthinking. Without letting your worry get to you, you sprinted towards the speedometer hoping you wouldn't get discouraged by the fast boy in front of you. The air flowed against you, pushing your hair back. You had forgotten about the tension air creates when you run against it, but it didn't matter. As quickly as it started you heard Iida's score, the Asui's, but you knew 50 meters was easy. You knew you were fast even without your quirk, you would prove it.

"6 seconds"

"Without a quirk?"

"What even is her quirk?"

"I don't know, she wasn't in my exam."

The others after you seemed to be faster than you too, even if by seconds. However, it was helpful to learn exactly what their quirks were.

Uraraka- zero gravity

Iida- engine

Bakugou-explosion

Knowing all this made you unique compared to them, because now, you know their quirks and how they work for the most part, but only a few even can guess yours. Maybe it won't help you too much now, but in the future this knowledge will.

Test two: Grip strength

Easy, this can be done without even touching that little machine, but sure, you'd give me a show.

"Woah, you hit 500 kilograms?! You're such a beast"

The boy with extra arms seemed to do well on this, you could obviously guess why. Still, you had no fear at all in this test. What were they thinking putting an object entirely made of metal and wires in your hand? Rigged in your favor to be honest.

You took the contraption in your hand, avoiding the eyes of the few watching you to see what your quirk was. Jokes on them, cause with this test, it'd take a genius to tell. Applying a decent amount of pressure from your hand, you began to feel all of the particles in the tiny machine, moving them closer and closer together. Pushing them down with each breath out. Until the machine beeped.

12,000kg

You almost smirked at that, you technically didn't have that much plain grip strength, but the teacher said use your quirk, anything goes.

"Twelve thousand!? No way!" the yellow haired boy spoke with astonishment, not anger, but the words felt accusing,

"sorry.."

The students were left dumbfounded. However, at the mention of such a high number, todoroki began to seek out your face, he recognised the girl who had tried to speak with him earlier. Looking at the floor and avoiding the quite obvious compliments, he couldn't help but feel it wasn't out of modesty.

Test three: Standing long jump

The ring on your finger would serve well enough for this one, removing it, you liquified the metal ring until it was a non-Newtonian liquid- or a liquid that is solid under pressure. It soon multiplied until it was around a foot high line of liquid metal, then you curled it into a spring shape. Jumping straight up you landed both feet on the outer edge of the spring and flew into the air launching it with you and quickly turning it back into a tiny ring around your pinky finger.

Then apologizing again as more questions floated in.

Next was repeated side steps, then ball throws. By then, the other students had acknowledged the uncomfort you seemed to have around them, and only admired from afar.

To others the ball throw seemed like the most important test, but it didn't really feel like that to you. Despite having some restraint, you wanted to be the best in every test. Well, maybe not this one, after the gravity girl sent a ball to infinity.

Still, you held the softball, all eyes on you, not feeling so shy, considering you knew these were supposed to be your friends, you wanted them to like you, more than anything. So you would just have to woman up soon.

You tossed the ball to yourself a couple times, feeling for any metal particles, baseballs were usually full of string on the inside, maybe that would work? No, too risky for now.

Feeling pressure to hurry, you took a quick glance around, locking eyes with the boy who sits by you. He still was stone faced, but looked a little intrigued to see what you would do. Was he curious about you? He was so strong though, you'd seen it earlier. Well, best live up to expectations.

No luck with metal in the ball, but there was plenty all around you: iron in your blood. Taking your pointer fingernail, you scratched a quick cut on your opposite palm, maintaining eye contact with the boy. His stiffness faltered for a second, confused and maybe worried at your actions.

Quickly you dragged your blood out of the cut in a thin, rope-like flow, wrapped it around the ball, and took a deep breath. Then you closed your eyes, just how you taught yourself to, and imagined the blood pulling the ball into the air. Arm swung back and ready you released the image along with a throw high into the air.

Continuing to focus on where your blood would take it, you imagine not a place, but a number, and a force. Applying that force to the blood and ball, long lost in the sky, you finally sighed out and looked around, waiting for a score.

Your peers seemed confused about what had just happened, all except for the red and white haired boy, he seemed to have caught on to some extent.

"1,609 meters"

"A mile, exactly? How?"

"Your blood? That doesn't match up with everything else you've done today!" A girl with recognizably large breasts and thighs spoke, she was gorgeous. Hair tied up in a black ponytail, and even her voice sounded sophisticated.

"Uhm-"

"If you say sorry one more time i'm gonna blast you to space, ya hear me!?"

The fire boy, Bakugou screamed at you, and you would have been scared, but it actually made you feel comforted. The realization that people here were not asking for your apologies.

"Yes sir." you winked.

Why did you wink? Did you forget you weren't talking to mochi? A yellow haired boy, whose name you thought was denki turned red and fainted. You felt incredibly stupid, and flustered, and mad at yourself for slipping like that.

"AAAaaa im so sorry, pleaseforgivmeidontknowwhatiwasthinkingwinkingayoulikehatwhenyoubarelyknowmeohnopleasedonthatemenowimsorryimsorrymochiwillyellatmelater!" you screeched out, falling subject to your now loose personality.

Then you went to hide among the crowd of them, slowly shrinking in on yourself.

The next one up was the green haired boy, Deku? That's what bakugou called him, right? You didn't know you were standing next to shouto todoroki, but he sure knew he was standing next to you.

He wanted to confirm his suspicions about your quirk, and also he subconsciously wanted to know what a conversation with you would be like. You didn't seem too eccentric, or obnoxious like some of the kids here. Plus for some reason you were flustered at any and everything,and well, it was stupidly adorable.

Todoroki shouldn't be thinking these things, but he is. On the first day of school no less.

It seems, though, you weren't the star of the show today. He tore his eyes from you at the sound of your gasp. The boy who hasn't used a quirk all day had thrown the softball barely a few meters. So how did he get in? He seemed nice enough, but it sparked the question, how would someone quirkless make it to the hero course?

Or maybe he wasn't, it seemed, the teacher had nullified whatever quirk he tried to use. They were talking for quite some time, until Mr.Aizawa removed his restraint on the kids quirk and he was left to throw.

His lips pursed, deep in thought. Deku really had to get this one right. There may not be a better place to apply his gifted quirk. He really didnt wanna go home, either, so this was it.

Blinking, he thrust his hand back and before you could process what was happening an incredible force of wind flew back on you. The ball launched high into the air, a trail of pure power following it. You didn't take your eyes off that ball until it dropped. A puff of dirt flying up around it.

705.3

So you looked back to the boy, eyes wide just like everyone else, and your eyes found a bloodied purple finger. Broken in every sense of the word. Deku, though, was smiling, the brightest smile you'd ever seen. Proud. He was proud of himself. What could you be but proud of him, too?

You'd known him less than a day, spoken to him all but once, but his smile was pure. You used to smile like that when you were working out your quirk in the forest behind school. It was beautiful.

"Awesome.." you whispered through a smile clad lips.

Teeth white and shining under the sun, and todoroki heard you. Even looked down(or up) at you. He wanted to see that smile again from you, and for the love of god he couldn't tell himself why....

A/n this isn't a deku fic but I love him, and it IS his show, so- don't be surprised if i write about him like he is the most precious gorgeous blessing on earth.

#todoroki x reader #todoroki fluff #shoto torodoki #todoroki shoto x reader #mha todoroki #mha bakugou #mha fanfiction #mha fluff #momo yaoyozoru #momo x reader

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travllingbunny · 4 years

Text

Quarantine tag game

Thanks for tagging me, @sometimesrosy!

ARE YOU STAYING HOME FROM WORK/SCHOOL? I am staying home but not from work, because I work at home. Not just now, I always work at home, so there hasn’t been any change in that respect. The volume of work was the same as always during the last few weeks, too. I haven’t had any new work since Friday, so I’m enjoying a few days of rest, but I don’t know if this has anything to do with Corona. A few days of rest and no work has happened before. It will give me more time to clean my apartment.

IF YOU’RE STAYING HOME, WHO IS THERE WITH YOU? My two dogs and two cats. They are probably happy that they get even more time with me than usual. I think that some people don’t consider pets real company - probably people who don’t have pets - which I find funny. They are amazing company and I never feel lonely or bored. It’s never boring with them. Taking the dogs out two times a day, having to feed the cats 6-7 times a day or however often they start mewing and asking for food (especially the kitten - the young one is just 9 months old), having to stand guard to make sure dogs don’t steal cat food :D and all the petting and displays of affection.

ARE YOU A HOMEBODY? Not really? But I’m also not not a homebody? LOL Normally, I enjoy going out and meeting people; I have salsa classes two times a week, which are really fun; I go clubbing on weekends; and my favorites are the Language Cafe type events, which used to be up to 3 times a week before the Coronavirus situation started (these are events for people to meet and practice languages, where you can just come, choose the table with the language you want to practice, introduce yourself and join the conversation). I go to concerts, film festivals, public lectures/debates etc.

But at the same time, I don’t mind staying at home, and I’ve had experience in having to stay for a week or two when I had a ton of work and tight deadlines. I talk to people a lot via phone, Viber, Whatsupp and social media, exchange memes and satirical articles about the current situation, etc. I’m online a lot, and I’m trying to finally catch up/check out some of the many TV shows, movies and books I have on my watchlist/readlist and do other stuff I never had enough time for.

AN EVENT THAT YOU WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT GOT CANCELLED? I don’t think it’s been officially cancelled yet (?), but I doubt that the Tindersticks concert in early May is gonna be happening. I had already bought the ticket so I hope it gets postponed. I’ve also bought a ticket for a Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds concert in early June (it’s probably too optimistic to hope that will happen?) and a Pixies concert in early September (I don’t have to worry about that one, do I?)

WHAT MOVIES HAVE YOU WATCHED RECENTLY? Since the curfew started, I’ve watched just a few movies that happened to be on TV - which were all very different, but I wasn’t impressed by any of them (Divergent, Ironclad, and Francis Ha).

The last time I was in cinema was for the FEST film festival, which ended on 8 March, and I watched Jojo Rabbit on the closing night. I really loved it. Before that, at the same festival, I watched Apocalypse Now: The Final Cut, Blood Quantum (pretty good Canadian horror that’s a different take on the zombie epidemic genre, as it takes place in a First Nation reserve, most characters/actors are First Nation and it deals with social issues), Spanish period drama by Alejandro Amenabar Mientras dure la guerra (During the War) about the Spanish Civil War and Miguel de Inamuno’s role in the events, The Lighthouse (really good, really dark psychological horror drama that can have a bunch of interpretations) and Dead Don’t Die (Jim Jarmush’s zombie comedy with some very on-the-nose social commentary).

WHAT SHOWS ARE YOU WATCHING? The list is pretty long! Some shows I’ve been watching on TV include: Peaky Blinders (really good!), Babylon Berlin (still in season 1), Penny Dreadful (I’m almost finished - I didn’t like season 1 that much but it got much better in seasons 2 and 3), Wynonna Earp (not great but it’s just a fun show with some cool actors/characters). I'm about to finish S1 of The Witcher and I want to rewatch it immediately to figure out the timelines. I’m finishing my rewatch of The 100 and I’m going to resume my rewatch of Agents of SHIELD (hopefully I can finish it by its premiere date, 27 May). Also watching Outlander season 5, Harley Quinn, Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, need to catch up on Roswell: New Mexico, Prodigal Son and Stumptown and finish The Outsider, and have recently started The Plot Against America and Mindhunter (the latter because my best friend has recommended it). I’ve even checked out the pilot of Lucifer, which I may or may not continue soon, and I’m continuing with 12 Monkeys season 1. And I intend to check out Kingdom. Quite a mix of genres there.

WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO? I haven’t listened to that much music lately as I used to, but my routine for putting myself to sleep is to turn on MTV Rocks (or the Rock Alternative radio channel) on my TV, in low volume, program the sleep function for 2 hours, and go to bed. It works like a charm. I always have trouble falling asleep in silence.

Other than that, I’ve been listening to a lot of Haelos since I first discovered them when I heard their song “Alone” in season 6 of The 100, and I’ve listened to othe songs from The 100 and Tree Adams’ soundtrack for season 3.

WHAT ARE YOU READING? Before all this, I borrowed 3 books from the American Corner library: Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye and Beloved and Tea Obrecht’s The Tiger’s Wife. I’m reading The Bluest Eye at the moment, but I’m also going to finally start reading GRRM’s Fire and Blood, which I had never found time for.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR SELF-CARE? The usual stuff I do - a bit of exercise, nurturing bath once a week, regular skin care. But last week, I also had to make an effort to relax and try to lower my level of stress and blood pressure, thanks to something that happened last Sunday.

Rant incoming....If you don’t want to read about my bad experience with the police and idiotic government measures, stop now.

Namely, the idiotic government of my country has imposed “measures” which are supposed to be against the spread of Coronavirus but mostly don’t make any sense - they are constantly extending curfew and changing the time of it, and have changed the times when dog owners are allowed to walk their dogs. At one point, it seemed like there was no allowed time for that in the evening or afternoon. You had to listen to the news all the time (and listening to news and the President’s speeches is one of the things that annoys me the most) to figure these things out. And the weekend before last was their first experiment in an extra-long 3 day curfew, which I wasn’t even aware of, when they actually had the police patrol and arrest people for just walking on their own (or, in one case, a young farmer in his tractor - two days after the minister of agriculture said on TV that farmers would be exempt from the curfew - they changed it). So I got manhandled, put in handcuffs and taken to the station for walking my dogs all on my own, with no one else around (which is endangering people and helping the spread of Corona - how exactly??!) where i had to sit for 2 hours while a cop was writing stuff down from the records, and about 60 other cops walked right by me, 10 of whom didn’t have masks, while 3 had but pulled them up/down, then in a police car with 3 other people they picked up - who can’t sit any further than half a meter from you as there’s not enough room, then about 1.5 hours more at the court, with a bunch of other people (and everyone was sitting right next to each other - I was the only one who was like “Nope” and stood a couple of meters away from the others), where they passed the judgment that I have to pay a fine of almost 450 EUR - the amount that’s prescribed for everyone. (And in Serbia, that’s about 1.5 of the minimum wage. I can pay my bills for 3 months from that amount.) Turns out, they arrested some 700-800 people that weekend, so I guess they’re gonna extort a lot of money from the people - if all of them are able to pay it within 15 days (which I doubt. I can withdraw the money from the bank, but I don’t think everyone can). My temperature, pulse and probably blood pressure went up immediately and took an entire week to come down - due to stress, a lot of anger and fear - I had my mask and gloves, but that was still the most close contact and exposure to a lot of other people, much more than I’ve had in weeks. I yelled and ranted and told them that they’re the ones putting others and themselves in danger of contracting Corona, and they probably knew I was right, but it makes no difference - President Vučić is either an idiot who actually thinks the virus is lurking outside in the air to jump at people, but only during the hours he decides, or, more likely, he doesn’t care, but is a wannabe dictator who likes to act self-important and playact at imposing “strict but necessary measures”.

/end rant. Sorry about that. But that’s why I bought a temperature meter and blood pressure meter, because I was having high temperature, heart palpitations and pressure in my chest, which hasn’t happened to me in a long time (I was also starting to feel PMS, which added to it and didn’t help, but is normally nowhere near as bad when I’m not stressed out) so I needed a lot of self-care last week - which included tranquilizers, but mostly trying my best to relax and feel better. And I’m finally well now and close to how I was before the whole arrest idiocy.

Tagging @jeanie205 @kizo2703 @weareagentsofnothing @turtle-paced @wolfheartgirl @theatre-steph @selflessbellamy @mytly4 @katersann @linzzmorgan100 @immortalpramheda @iishallbelieve @misskittyspuffy @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer @justbecauseyoubelievesomething @angearia @ladyofthefrostfangs - I know some of you have already been tagged, I’m sorry if you’ve already done it but I haven’t seen it, in which case I’look for it on your blog. Sorry to everyone I didn’t tag, too.

#tagging game #quarantine #quarantine game #sorry for ranting but I had to

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demaury · 5 years

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Only You (chap.1)

For Lucas, life has always been rather bittersweet, between shitty family situations and crappy self-esteem overall, but his eighteenth birthday marks yet another dramatic turn that no amount of cynicism could have prepared him for. (ao3 link)

February 2019

Scrap, scrap, scrap.

The pencil was grazing the paper sheet with so much precision and regularity that Lucas had no trouble supplying the missing sound of the lead. His eyes were focused on the hands of the customer sitting outside, only tearing away when the guy set the pencil down to roll himself a cigarette. Of course he was a smoker. February had been relatively lenient so far, but it was a bit too early in the year to spend more time outside than necessary, unless you were a smoker. He didn’t know how long he had been looking, but a lifetime of noisy canteen tables had given him the ability to tune his loud friends out whenever he wanted to — perhaps too effectively, because now he had three pairs of eyes on him.

He was forced to refocus his attention on his own table, tearing his eyes away from the street. Last time he had tried to find interest in the conversation, it had been about some party the guys wanted to go, since apparently Arthur had game with a friend of Marine’s, his platonic soulmate. Nothing that called for his contribution, from what he knew, but maybe he had missed the part where it got interesting.

“What?”, he asked blankly.

“He’s hot,” Yann simply commented with an approving nod.

Lucas followed his gesture, directed towards the guy sitting outside.

“Super hot,” Basile confirmed, pausing from slaughtering a viennoiserie to spare a glance.

“I was looking at the drawings,” Lucas said, eyes falling onto his now lucky-warm cup of coffee.

“So you can actually see anything from here?” Arthur deadpanned.

Lucas’ eyes travelled between the three of them, but the insistence they had to look outside made him turn back one more time. It was the worst idea he probably ever had. Because yes, the guy was beautiful, but he was also staring right the fuck back at him from the other side of the glass. Lucas was sure he could feel his eyes burning holes into his skin — not in a bad way, but in a totally, a 100% fucked up way.

Lucas’ head snapped back the other way, so fast he nearly broke his neck in the process. Smooth, Lallemant, real smooth, he thought sarcastically.

“He’s looking at you,” Basile remarked unhelpfully and far, far too eagerly to Lucas’ taste.

��No he’s not,” he gritted out, scowling. “He’s looking at us, because you are fucking creeps. Stop staring!”

“Says the one who was staring first,” Arthur snorted. “Bro, you weren’t even blinking.”

“I was looking at the drawings,” Lucas hammered, whisper-screaming. “Can we just collectively ignore him now and drop the subject?”

It could have come in handy for him to know what the conversation was about before it came to this, maybe he would have had higher chances to redirect it on safer grounds, but as it was what were the odds that they had changed subject since the last time he tried to care?

Yann quirked a brow, apparently far from being done. “So you’d just pass on him?”

“I’m not passing on anything, he’s just a guy,” Lucas retorted.

“Right,” Arthur drawled, extending the ‘i’ obnoxiously. “Just a guy. Staring the fuck at you. Plus, our love lives are a lot less miserable than yours.”

“I just got out of a relationship, I’ll let you know,” Basile retorted haughtily.

“And I’m not interested in dating these days,” Yann shrugged.

“Then why can’t you just understand that I’m not interested either?” Lucas huffed, ignoring Basile’s intervention to focus on Yann.

He profoundly hated the sudden tone of the conversation, all too aware where this was going. He wished he was wrong, but as soon as Yann sighed and leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table, Lucas knew it wasn’t the case.

“Because it’s about your soulmate,” he said, “not about you not wanting to date.”

“It always is,” Arthur quipped in his cup of coffee.

Lucas’ stomach tightened, and he instinctively averted his eyes.

Today had been an empty day. Not bad, not good. Just empty, an hour carrying him here and the other carrying there. It wasn’t all that bad, it was even days like these that Lucas craved the most — those where he was just feeling numb enough not to care. Of course now it was a lot more difficult not to care when his three (supposedly) best friends had decided to meddle in, especially when he had asked them not to.

“Look, we just don’t want you to keep moping forever,” Basile added.

Arthur nodded, shifting towards Lucas who was sitting next to him. “He’s right. When a cute guy looks at you, you just go for it, that’s how it works,” he completed with a casual shrug.

“Yeah, just go talk to him.”

“I’m not going to do that,” Lucas retorted coolly, feeling his calm crumble with each passing second. “I’m not going to talk to a guy who looked at the four of us once, and I certainly don’t need your fucked up advices because you’ve got no idea what I’m going through!”

“Because you never let anything out,” Yann protested.

“Why should I?” Lucas exclaimed. “So you can tell me to forget about it and just move on?”

“Well, I don’t know,” Basile admitted, looking rather embarrassed, and Lucas’ eyes jumped on him. “It’s been what, five months, now? Maybe- Maybe that’s what you should do?”

Arthur and Yann both glanced at him, mouthing a quiet ‘dude’ with a shake of their head. Lucas opened his mouth and closed it, nothing coming out at first. “How about you start shutting up about your damn soulmate, Baz?”, he snapped. “’When am I going to meet her’, ‘what does she look like’, ‘what if I never see her’-”

“Lucas–,” Arthur tried, but Lucas snatched his arm away when he squeezed it lightly to distract him.

“No, I’m fucking done hearing you all complain,” Lucas protested, perhaps louder than he should have judging by the embarrassed looks of the guys. He shook his head and stood up abruptly, grabbing his backpack and making the cups on the table tinkle together. “‘Oh no, my soulmate’s Emma’, ‘oh no my soulmate’s a platonic one’, ‘oh when am I gonna find her’, but mine is fucking dead, so excuse me for making a big deal out of it!”, he exclaimed bitterly, throwing the last words behind his shoulder as he was already on his way out.

4 months and a half, 21 hours and 36 minutes.

138 days. Over 3334 hours.

That’s how long he had been miserable. Ever since that horrible evening, last October. He and the boys were having predrinks at the flatshare, before hitting a college party organized by PACES students, and the memory of his own laughter made it all the more painful in retrospect. They were not quite a month into their first year at uni, and Lucas was still buzzing with the excitement of it all. In complete honesty he couldn’t have cared less about his studies; the major he had picked after his BAC, economics, was far from being his thing, but the silver lining had been his soulmate. As Yann had pointed out to him shortly after getting his soulmark last summer, new faces all around at uni meant more chances to meet his ‘Eliott guy’. And Lucas? Well, Lucas couldn’t decently argue with that logic, really. Every new party was another occasion to casually hope for something to happen — he had just never thought that ‘something’ happening would be so fucking painful.

“What are you looking at?” he remembered laughing in-between two rounds of video games and his second beer, after spotting Arthur’s eyes on him for quite some time now.

Arthur had barely looked up, frowning behind his glasses instead. “Dude, I think… I think your soulmark’s fading.”

Lucas had glanced down at his arm, exposed by the tee-shirt he was wearing, heartbeat rising as he jumped up from the couch to the closest source of light in the room to get a better view. A rush of adrenaline after that, and Lucas’ brain a mess of emotions making his head spin. He remembered clutching at his own arm, as he could do nothing but stare at the six letter name growing fainter and fainter despite his pleas, until it was barely noticeable at all and that the guys had no more comforting things to come up with. No one went to the party that night. Instead, Lucas found himself cradling his arm most of the night, hoping and begging for it to be just a mistake. For Eliott’s name to come back, thick and black and bold letters all over again — but it never did. His soulmark had remained the same, a faint scar in the shape of a name.

He hadn’t sought other testimonies online this time. He hadn’t felt the need to. Soulmarks fading was about a soulmate dying, everybody knew that. He didn’t need people recounting tearful stories, nor did he need anyone to instill hope where it had no place to be. Whoever Eliott was, whoever he had once been, it was over for him — for them. It had been terrible from there, and he wasn’t going to pretend otherwise just to make his friends feel better about it. They were still at an age where these kind of things were a big deal, for better or for worse, and he knew he’d still be looking out for Eliott everywhere he went just like Basile did with his soulmate, if it weren’t for a fucked up destiny taking too much pride in screwing him over.

“Excuse me?” tentatively called a voice next to him.

“What?” Lucas answered sharply, head snapping to the side.

The scowl on his face turned into a sarcastic twist of his lips accompanied by a dry snort. Of fucking course. The artsy customer from the café was standing here, roughly two meters away from him. There was only one fucking reason he’d be here, and this fucking reason in particular was a three-headed dumbass he had known since high school and was now dying to throw under the next bus.

“They are assholes, alright?” he spat. “I don’t know what they fucking told you and I don’t fucking care. I’m not interested, period.”

“You’re not interested,” the guy repeated, slightly cocking an eyebrow. Lucas thought he was on the verge of exploding if he was so much as trying to insist. But instead, the guy reached for a rolled-up cigarette he had tucked behind his ear. “I was just gonna ask for a lighter, but it’s always nice to know where everybody stands I guess.”

He was smiling.

Lucas’ cheeks heated up from crushing embarrassment and he cast his eyes away, staring at his hands and deflating instantly. It was definitely not the worst day of his life, but he could feel it make a solid entry in the top 5.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I’m not smoking.”

The guy shrugged. “Alright.”

Please, leave. He was the only one beside him waiting at the bus stop, if he really needed a lighter it wouldn’t magically appear in Lucas’ pocket. Just leave. Fighting with the guys had sucked the last bit of energy he had left in his body, he didn’t have any more left. But instead the guy sat on the metallic bench. Ultimate fuckery if there was one. He didn’t have any idea what he had done in a past life, but he could only guess it was bad. Lucas tried to look away and absorb himself in the silent contemplation of the sidewalk, but all he could think about was that he wanted to come home and crawl under the covers and forget that day even happened at all. It wasn’t easy when the guy sitting next to him was a constant reminder of the shitty afternoon he had just spent, between boring classes he didn’t give a fuck about, friends who had forgotten the basic meaning of ‘supportive’ and, of course, last but not least, lashing out to a complete stranger for trying to hit on him and who happened to be so far out of his league that they didn’t even play the same sport.

A metallic flick drove his attention toward the lighter the guy was currently trying to make work, with a concentrated frown on his face and the cigarette now tucked between his lips. He kept flicking, once, twice, ten times, until Lucas couldn’t take it anymore.

“Usually when they don’t work the first five times, they rarely work the ten other times after that,” he said.

The guy glanced at him, then shrugged. “I guess I’m a dreamer then, uh?”

He put the cigarette back behind his ear and pocketed the uncooperative lighter in his brown jacket. Lucas took his eyes away and glanced at the other end of their street, where his bus was slowly (but hopefully steadily) making its way in their direction.

“Rough day?”

Lucas risked an eye in the guy’s direction. “You don’t have to do that, you know. It’s fine.”

He shrugged one more time. “I don’t mind,” he said, smiling a little even.

Is he fucking kidding me? Lucas thought instantly, taken aback. He found himself staring, blatantly, unapologetically, as if he was seeing him for the first time. He studied his insanely intense grey eyes, and the messy but effortlessly good-looking brown hair making wonders to his sharp cheekbones. He’s hot, he was forced to admit to himself, just when the bus reached their stop in a concert of screeching and hissing sounds. But somehow, his inner voice suddenly sounded a lot like Yann’s, and it made him angry.

Angry and upset and fucking outraged.

“Well, I do mind,” he articulated.

Before the guy could even say something, Lucas snatched his backpack from the bench and strode towards the entrance of his bus without a glance back.

#elu fic #skam france #mine #*#eliott demaury #lucas lallemant #elu #*onlyyou #i'm debating adding shorter updates but more frequently?#idk i'll see how it turns out i guess #my fics

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lailelizabeth · 5 years

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Not too long after we shot actress Elizabeth Lail for a fashion story and on location in very very cold New York City, we got cozy at our HQ to record this podcast.

Eloquent + fully present...talented, beautiful, and smart Elizabeth embodies all the qualities of a big star. She’s an actors actor, and, well, just a wonderful person. She’s rapidly built a loyal fan base, due to the cult following of Netflix series You and her character on the series, Beck.

And so we decided on this podcast to include some truly terrific questions from those very fans. We discuss her reverence for her craft, what to expect from You Season 2, her character, Leah, in beautiful indie film Unintended, and what it’s like to work on the set of a horror film. We talk her commitment to sustainability, her footwear of choice, her favorite books on acting, recommendations for what to catch on broadway, how she preps her skin before shooting, her idea of a perfect date night, and more. Listen in to hear the answers to all of your fan questions!

Podcast link

Tamara Rappa: So you studied acting in North Carolina. What's it like being in school for acting, and were there ever plans to come to New York for school?

Elizabeth Lail: I went to University of North Carolina School of the Arts for high school my senior year, and that molded my whole trajectory because, all of a sudden, I was surrounded by fellow artists. I was surrounded by my people. I didn't really know what the possibilities were in my small town. There aren't very many actors coming out of it. I fell in love with the school, so I wanted to go to college there. I drank all the Kool-Aid. I think I applied to maybe one school in New York, but the dream was to continue at the School of the Arts, and then move to New York or LA---I wasn't sure which.

TR: What do your friends do? Are they other actors? Other creatives?

EL: I would say it's split down the middle. You know, some people are really anti-actor…

TR: They are? Like friends from home, from a long time ago?

EL: I know people who are like, "Oh, I try to be around normal people."

TR: You're very normal.

EL: Oh, thank you. I love actors and I love artists. And then I love dentists and business people....

TR: You have a mixed group of friends.

EL: Totally.

TR: How does acting feed your soul?

EL: It's probably my number one source of food. It demands the truth from me, and so it's this really intense bullshit meter for me as a person, and as an instrument. It provides intense catharsis, I'm always questioning and challenging myself. It also demands that I be fully present.

TR: That's beautiful. Have you always wanted to act? I mean, were you a small child dreaming of this? What's your first memory of "I want to be a performer?"

EL: I didn't, again, know what the possibilities were at such a young age, but my sister and I were making home movies, and I would play every character in the movie. We had the board game Clue, and we loved that movie. So I played every character in Clue along with the board game. I'd be the Professor, and then Miss Scarlet. I wore a big sheet. So I guess I've been doing it forever, and I didn't realize until maybe I was 14 that that it could be a career path.

TR: What other things do you do to exercise your creativity, or is all your focus on acting these days? You've got a lot going on.

EL: Well I do take acting class, and I love it. It depends on the class, but if you find a teacher that you really love, it feels like going to church for your artistic spirit. But I feel like everything feeds my acting. Even just riding the subway. The more present I am in my real life, the more inspiration I'm taking in. I like to see theater. I like to be inspired by watching other things. I journal a lot, and also any kind of emotional response or anything I'm inspired by---I write down. I find later that it will tend to tie in with something I need for a character, or you just never know. So the world is so inspirational to me. Travel…everything feeds the actor's spirit, I think.

TR: How do you journal? Do you literally write things down? It's not in a Notes app on your phone? It's a book that you keep by your bedside?

EL: It's a book. I've got one in my bag. I have a light one for walking around, but I have a big, big, heavy one at home. Usually I journal first thing in the morning. It's usually stream of consciousness.

TR: Morning pages?

EL:Yeah. It's a little bit like The Artist's Way, morning pages, but I don't necessarily follow any strict kind of order. And sometimes, it's gratitude. Sometimes it's stream of consciousness, and then sometimes I feel like something is trying to speak to me.

TR: Ideas.

EL: Ideas, yeah. That's why it's always kind of worth going back to the page because you never really know what's going to reveal itself to you. And even sometimes if I'm working on a scene in the morning during that writing time, it just comes.

TR: Wow. That's powerful.

EL: It's what is wanting to be worked on, in my unconscious brain.

TR: A powerful tool. What does the book look like? Where do you get this book? This big, beautiful, heavy book?

EL: You know what's interesting about that one, it was a gift from Ferragamo, so it actually is really beautiful. But normally, journals find you. They're given to you or you buy one and you forget to use it, and then you're like, ‘oh, I have this great journal.’ They are untapped potential.

TR: Describe how your fame came on. What was it like hitting a million followers and acquiring a fan base? What is it like? Do you detach from it in some way?

EL: Oh boy, you know. I'm a little detached from it.

TR: You have to just keep being you, and doing the work.

EL: Yes. I think I was more excited when I got like 500,000 followers. That was a big milestone. And then after that you're like, ‘I'm still figuring this out, how am I going to use Instagram? What does it mean to me? How is this going to be a part of my work?’ I’m a little conflicted, because there's a school of thought where the more people know about you, the more exposure you have, the less believable you are as a character. All of a sudden your mystique goes away.

TR: Right. There are some actors that could never do certain roles, because they're so known for ...

EL: ...for something. And they certainly can do those roles. But it might take the audience a minute to readjust their brains.

EL: But obviously I have Instagram, and mostly I'm just really grateful. I think kind of hitting the million mark, in a way, could be really wonderful for my career. But I don't know that yet. You know, the hope is that people cast you based off of your work. And if you can serve the project with any kind of like following ...

TR: 100%. And, visibility.

EL: Visibility. Yes. Then it’s a great thing. That's always a great thing. Especially if you're making something smaller that really means something to you, that maybe needs a platform to get the word out. So it's exciting.

TR: Well, I will say, you have some lovely fans. And they've got some wonderful questions for you that we’re going to get to.

EL: I do. Oh, exciting!

TR: How are we seeing Beck in season two of You? And how is the series different this season?

EL: I mean, she’s back-ish. Right? Beck is back-ish. What was really cool about shooting season two though, is that we were in LA, which is very different than New York. And I would be in full Beck gear.

TR: Let’s talk about that. What is full Beck gear? What is Beck's look?

EL: Excellent question. Beck has curled hair that's meant to be kind of like undone, yet done. It's a little shorter than mine at the moment, and she always wears lots of jewelry. She has a staple necklace that's beautiful.

TR: What is the staple necklace exactly?

EL: It is a half moon with a diamond in it. It's made by Melissa Joy Manning.

TR: I love Melissa Joy Manning. She's a friend of mine. I love her jewelry.

EL: She's amazing. No way. I’ve become such a fan.

TR: We should go meet her. I could use a new piece from her!

EL: Yes we should go to her shop in Brooklyn. I've never been and I've been wanting to go, and I have really beautiful pieces from her. And obviously Beck would not be able to have a Melissa Joy Manning necklace, but in the world of television, she does! Beck is very much jeans. She likes a French tuck, and some kind of jacket. She's a little bit more small-town-dresser, I think, for someone who lives in New York. Keeping it pretty simple and as affordable as possible is Beck's look. And then boots, she's a boot girl. I would be in LA in the Beck getup, and people would recognize me as her and they would get so excited. That's something that's really different. Obviously when we were shooting season one, people were, you know, ‘what are you making? What's happening here?’

TR: In which parts of LA would you shoot?

EL: We were in Los Feliz, when we would go out in the world. And then in the Atwater village area.

TR: So that's a main difference between season one and season two, location.

EL: Yeah. And those are pretty defining. New York and LA are very defining cities, experience-wise. Have you spent a lot of time in LA? I have. I feel like I've lived there.

TR: I'm a native New Yorker and I lived in LA for years.

EL: My thoughts are that in LA, they have great food. Because I'm a vegan, and it's lovely to eat there.

TR: You can find fantastic food in LA.

EL: Healthy food everywhere. But I prefer New York. I'm much more inspired by New York.

TR: Everyone can watch you in the wonderful indie film, Unintended. It's currently on cable, Direct TV, Prime Video, iTunes, Google play.[Everyone] should see this film. It's terrific. Was it draining playing someone so mentally tormented and well, drug addicted? She was sort of addicted to her medication.

EL: Yes. It is draining, but I think acting is draining in general because you are giving so much of yourself. And that aspect, yes, because she is kind of always in this state of distress.

TR: That's what it is. It's more than being mentally tortured. Your character Leah is in a state of distress.

EL: She’s kind of figuring out her life. I would really have to go home and just do absolutely nothing every day.

TR: Is that right?

EL: That's the key. You just go home, you shower, you eat a little dinner and then you read, you do something else. Something nice for yourself.

TR: The production itself is beautiful, and I love how it contrasts with some of the difficult subject matter like physical abuse, alcoholism, painful divorce. Where did you shoot? It was beautiful.

EL: We were in Kingston, in and around Kingston, in upstate New York, in Minnewaska State Park. I love it up there. Since we've shot there, I go visit that area twice a year.

TR: It's a magical location.

EL: It's beautiful and all those little towns, you know, Woodstock, and Kingston---they all have cute restaurants. And then there's nature. I think when you live in New York you forget that.

TR: All of it is...

EL: ...so close by.

TR: In Unintended, Leah travels upstate with her father at one point in the film, but ends up spending her days there with longtime friend, Sam. How did she explain that to her father? We see her traveling upstate with her father, and he's going off to do a conference of some sort, and then she ends up spending a few days with Sam. Does she just decide that that's how she's going to spend her time upstate, because she needs some questions answered?

EL: Exactly. I think that her relationship with Sam is maybe closer to an actual father than her relationship with her dad. Sam was a little bit older. He was always kind of around, almost like a babysitter at times for her when she was young.

TR: And he was nurturing to her in some ways. He would feed her.

EL: He nurtured that wild and uninhibited spirit. And not that her parents weren't there. I just think that once the divorce happened, that was her breaking point, and she kind of shut down. That's the beginning of the shut-down, as early as their divorce when she's 11, or I guess she's 13. She's young. I think her relationship with her dad is strained. With her mom there's not a whole lot of communication going on, especially from her side, reasoning-wise.

TR: Did Leah shoot Bill? I wasn't sure.

EL: She didn’t. She did shoot the gun. I think it's meant to be unclear, but my understanding is that she didn't actually shoot him. It was just the fall that was so harsh for him, and so was being stuck down there. He basically was scared by the sound of the gun, and fell back into this cavern.

TR: What became of Leah's mother? Do we know?

EL: No she doesn't come up.

TR: I found that to be intriguing.

EL: I think it speaks to her current state. Her mother is somewhat villainized in the beginning, because she's the one having the affair. So she is essentially the one who breaks the family. And so I think that from Leah's perspective, her mom is not someone she wants to be close with. It’s such a painful break, especially if you felt like things were so stable for most of your life. So, yeah. We don't really know.

TR: What happens to Leah, do you think, after she finally understands this devastating time in her past and makes peace with Bill, what does she become? What does she go off and do in life?

EL: My hope is that she becomes an author of a novel. My hope is that she goes to therapy and moves back to nature, moves out of New York, becomes an author, and writes this story.

TR: Do she and Bill become a couple?

EL: I don't know. That's wishful movie magic thinking. Because he's got some issues. If they do become a couple, there are some struggles coming their way.

TR: And does she reconcile with her father?

EL: I hope so, I hope so. Sometimes I feel like the people we love the most are the last ones to get our grace and forgiveness and patience, so who knows?

TR: You also star in Countdown, recently in theaters. The horror film genre is hugely popular with people. What's the set of a horror film like?

EL: It's so fun. This one was so fun. It was exciting for me, because horror isn't necessarily my genre---I get really easily scared. And so if I'm going to watch a horror movie, it's got to be at home, where I can turn the sound off and block my eyes. But making one is really exciting because you get to do a lot of stunts, and there's all this incredible hair and makeup. Everyone was just so happy and grateful to be there. That's always the best set to be on, in any genre. To be with people who just love making movies.

TR: You were also a series regular on Video Syncrasy from David Fincher, based on the music industry and music videos in the eighties. Your character is a stylist’s assistant.

EL: But my character wanted to be a singer. She wanted to be Stevie Nicks.

TR: How did that project with David Fincher, a genius, come about?

EL: The show never saw the light of day. Sorry guys! You can't watch this.

TR: I watched a scene where you were unpacking garment bags and there's a garment rack behind you. I was like, ‘look at Elizabeth, living the story of my life’.

EL: I was so sore that day.

TR: The schlep of the fashion editor and the stylist...

EL: My shoulders were in pain. I think I got a massage therapist on that show, because it was so painful, carrying all the garment bags. And now when I see that in New York, I have a newfound respect.

TR: How did you first get interested in sustainability, and what do you do in your day to day life to create change?

EL: I became a vegan first and foremost almost four years ago, and that was really when I realized the environmental impact of animal agriculture. I was already vegetarian, because I love animals, and I thought, ‘I can do this, this can be my contribution’.

TR: Is there something specific that made you go from vegetarian to vegan?

EL: I saw Cowspiracy. It's a documentary.

TR: That's on my list. I haven't seen it yet.

EL: And of course everyone who watches says, ‘I'm going to become vegan.’ And maybe they do it for a week. It can be very difficult to do. And everyone I watched it with were like, ‘we're all going to do it’. I think I'm still the only one doing it. That was my beginning of living a more mindful life. It immediately requires you to be more mindful about what you're eating, which before, was a pretty mindless practice for me.

TR: For a lot of people I think.

EL: All of a sudden you become a little more mindful about, ‘What am I buying? How much waste am I creating? What am I only using once? What am I doing with my clothes?’ The whole world opens up, and all these questions come at you.

EL: On my Obsixed list, is the Package Free store. It opened in my neighborhood and I walked in, I was like, ‘this is amazing’. You start picking things up and you're like, ‘I didn't realize there was another option for cotton swabs, for taking off my makeup’. I didn't realize how much waste I was creating in my beauty routine. That's a huge thing. I'm definitely a victim of the skincare obsession. The good news is, like anything, you just do little things at a time. I think the first thing I got was a reusable mug and I love it. I have a KeepCup. Aesthetically, it's very pretty. And I have a S’well water bottle. Those are the easiest changes to make because, especially in New York, you just put them in your tote bag and the coffee shop remembers you. They know your order, they're like, ‘here's the girl with her own cup’. You'd be surprised, everyone is very down to make those kinds of changes. You just start saying no to moments of single use plastic or straws. I'm at the beginning of that journey and that's why I'm obsessed with it right now, because I'm exploring. I'm becoming very aware, and hoping to do so much more.

TR: We have your Obsixed list of current obsessions [listed below], but let’s also do a lighting round of favorites. Favorite food?

EL: Enchiladas.

TR: Favorite way to spend date night?

EL: Reading on the couch by a fireplace.

TR: Favorite way to prepare for a first day of shooting on set?

EL: Eye masks. I use a lot of Skyn Iceland

TR: Favorite movie? Can you even pick?

EL: In Bruges or The Road to El Dorado.

TR: Favorite skincare item?

EL: I love Dr. Hauschka's Rose Day Cream. I love the way that it smells. It makes me happy. You have to press it into your skin, so you have to go slow, and you're like, 'oh, this is a moment for me'.

TR: Favorite type of shoe to wear?

EL: Flat. My initial instinct is flat, but really comfortable. Comfort boots probably, that you can just slide on.

TR: Go-to dress up look?

EL: High waisted pants and some black pretty shirt and boots.

EL: Favorite holiday tradition?

EL: I make cookies with my grandmother. We make sugar cookies with decorative icing. It's actually really hard, because we make hundreds of cookies.

TR: Now we're onto some fan questions. From @kpaoletti19: “What's something you're proud of, that's happened this past year?”

EL:Those questions are so hard for me. Someone recently asked me what I was proud of and I didn't have an answer, but I realized they were asking me specifically about work, and it's because I can be my worst critic. But I will say, what I'm realizing is there are moments in every job where I have real moments of truth; where lightning strikes. I'm always proudest of those, because I think ‘you were there, and you were available to be worked through’.

TR: Also from @kpaoletti19, “Do you have advice when it comes to relationships? “

EL: I would say the best thing you can do is be super true to yourself and advocate for yourself really early on, so they know what they're working with. As opposed to, you know, when we first start dating someone, we want to be really pleasing and the perfect girlfriend. We just want to be easy. Maybe you are easy, but you're not always going to be easy.

TR: Be who you are.

EL: Have your opinions, have your likes, have your dislikes, and have them without shame.

TR: @elizabethlailfans asks: “Which of the characters that you've played, do you think most closely relates to you, and why?” I mean you've played some pretty intense characters. Maybe the answer is, none of them? Are there any who have a personality trait that you feel is like one of your own?

EL: They're all pretty different from me. I want to say Beck from You is the closest, but she's not really. Her choices are not really my choices. The things we have in common are age, that we’re artists, New York--- the really basic things. But when my mom was watching it, she was like, this isn't the woman I raised. She was like, ‘get some self esteem!’

TR: Another one, “What's your favorite memory from any set you've worked on?”

EL: Oh, I have so many. It's always the people. I create such joyful moments with all these incredible people and then they become your close friends. So I don't know if I can name a single one. There was a moment on Countdown where we came onto the set, this is kind of funny and gross, and it smelled like fish and we were like, what is going on here? Why does it smell like fish? Someone had used a set toilet, a fake toilet.

TR: That’s a really funny story. @elizabethlailfans also says “take care of yourself. We love you, and are proud of you always”.

EL: Aw right back at you, right back.

TR: @elizabethlailbr had a ton of great questions for you, including "Any new projects you can hint at?”

EL: Yeah, she's great. I don't know if I'm allowed to hint at them yet. But yes, don't worry, they're coming.

TR: One from me now: why did you change your Instagram handle?

EL: Everyone's upset! So my team was afraid that people weren't able to find me, because I had a random handle. [@elizaboon] And I will say, sometimes when someone contacts me on Instagram, they end up calling me Eliza, which is totally fine. That's like a nickname. They’d assume my name is Eliza, which was kind of fun. That's fine, I'm open. As long as it's not Beth, I'll respond to it.

TR: Do you have any nicknames?

EL: Some people call me Lizzy, Liz. Most people call me Lail, especially on a set; they go to sporting last name vibes. And then my best friend calls me Bell. It started out as Liz Bell and now it's just Bell. And then E Lib is the new one that's catching on.

TR: @elizabethlailbr asks: “How was it shooting with Story + Rain?”

EL: So fun.

TR: Fun and cold.

EL: Very cold, but it's much colder today, so I'm grateful for the day we had. It was cold but it was sunny.

TR: "Can you recommend theater to see or books on acting?” Also from @elizabethlailbr.

EL: Yes. Books on acting. I would read Uta Hagen's Respect for Acting. I would read Larry Moss, The Intent to Live, those are two incredible ones. They’re kind of old school and new school. Theater to see: I would see Jagged Little Pill on Broadway if you can. And then The Sound Inside, with Mary Louise Parker and Will Hochman. That's a wonderful play. And Sing Street, at New York Theater Workshop. I haven't seen it yet, but I really want to see it, and a friend of mine is in it. So that's on my list.

TR: One more: “Are you working with any new organizations within sustainability, or otherwise?”

EL: I’m working with the New York City Department of Sanitation. It’s cool because these are the real deal people. They want to make sure everyone knows how to get rid of waste, how to dispose of compost and garbage correctly, what is actually recyclable--- and all those sorts of things. And they're doing a Refashion week in February. They do upcycling fashion shows and have designers create sustainable looks.

TR: How do you feel about fashion in general?

EL: I am a fashion appreciator. I’m not necessarily that knowledgeable about the inside of the world of fashion, but every time I go to a fashion show I'm always blown away.

TR: Which shows have you seen?

EL: Self-Portrait. That one was so good. And then last year I got to go to Vogue CFDA. That was incredible. I just love being at the shows. I like the performance. It’s not surprising that, of course what I respond to is the performance of fashion.

TR: How do you feel about your costumes, how important are they?

EL: Very important.

TR: When you put on a costume as a character, even as Beck, in jeans and a sweater, or like Leah, do you transform instantly?

EL: 100% yeah. What your character decides to wear is, I think, very informative. So I think fashion in that sense is extremely important.

TR: Last question, still from @eilzabethlailbr: “What do you still feel like you need to accomplish in your career?” You have a huge career ahead of you, but is there something on your immediate list that you're thinking about these days?

EL: I've been thinking about these things because it's almost the new year, and it's time to write out a manifestation list.

TR: Do you put it in that big notebook, or is there a separate manifestation bible?

EL: I used to just rip it out of the notebook and put it away in my little box. And this year, I read that you should burn it. You should trust that your desires have been heard and are being met in the best way. So that's my plan this year. We'll see how it goes. There are a thousand things that I still want to do in my career, so I'm hoping this is just the beginning. I want to be an actor until I'm 89.

TR: How do you feel about film versus television? Things have changed so much in terms of TV.

EL: I really love both of them. I will say there's nothing like being in a movie theater; it changes the experience. It demands a little bit more of your attention, for better or for worse.

TR: There's ceremony attached to it, ritual.

EL: I like ritual, so I like that. But I love being a part of all of it: film, television, and theater. They're all worthwhile.

#elizabeth lail #elizabeth dean lail #article #interview #podcast #you netflix #unintended #mp

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despacitotm-a · 5 years

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Welcome to Vati over analyzes his characters ft. Rin Matsuoka.

Rin Matsuoka is a complicated character, and it was complicated writing all of this up, because there’s just so much to cover on him. From the get go, we all got that asshole-ish bad boy vibe from him in season one, and yeah, as much as I love him, he was being an asshole, but that’s not the Rin that everyone knew.

He went through a lot as a kid that helped shaped his character.

Under a cut cause I’m wordy and it’s a lot--

From the beginning, Rin, in elementary school, bragged a lot about going to Australia, that he was going to train there and be the fastest he’s ever been when he comes back. Also during this time, he was hellbent on getting Haruka to go down the same path, and urging him on because he saw so much potential in Haruka. Rin has always been able to see the potential in everyone, even though his baby mind was hyper-fixated on Haruka, Rin could watch everyone’s stroke and tell what they messed up on, what they needed work with, etc.

To be honest, these are the traits a future swimming coach/trainer should have, plus things his dad probably taught him while he was still alive. Not to mention Rin studies swimming like his life depends on it at this point, because, frankly it does.

Rin set himself all these high expectations, wanting to be cool for his friends back at home, and had the mindset for it and everything.

However, leaving home at 10, in a foreign place, with no one he knows around, being home sick, remembering his friends back at home, struggling in school took a heavy toll on Rin. And even though he was excited to be swimming in the place his dad could only dream of, losing race after race, even after months of private training, of course he would be feeling frustrated. He developed anxiety, wondering if he’s good enough still to race with Haru and his friends, wondering who he’s letting down, his trainer, his mom, his dad or himself.

Not only that, but since he’d built himself up to be the man of the house, to take care of his mom and Gou, the last thing he wanted to do was whine, cry and complain to them how hard it was, and that he’s lonely. I’m pretty sure if his mother asked him at any point that if he wanted to quit studying overseas, that Rin would have said yes, but Rin’s not a quitter, so he never complained, only turned somber.

The race with Haru was basically Rin’s breaking point. Rin is frustrated, angry that maybe his training in Australia amounted to nothing, since Haru beat him so easily. Again, he’s a child, dealing with a lot of things all at once, and he’s a fierce competitor. Children often do and say a lot of things without thinking, and the only thing Rin thought in that moment was that if his training in Australia was that useless what was the point of swimming? Rin lost himself to his own frustrations, forgetting who or what he was swimming for because he was so focused on getting better himself.

These angry thoughts twisted themselves over the 4 years Rin spent training his ass off when he get’s back to Australia. Because now it’s like he has to prove to both himself, and Haruka that he’s the better athlete. So of course, when the time came for Rin and Haru’s face off, and Rin won, said that he wasn’t going to be swimming, he loses himself even further because he proved that he was capable of beating Haru, but now what?

He lost purpose in himself and his swimming.

The 100 meter freestyle was their race, and if Haru wasn’t there it’s not the same.

Same with the relay race. The relay race was where he promised to show Haruka a sight he’d never seen, and though he did, after a while he forgot exactly that sight.

That relay race was the key to saving Rin in the end. Rin forgot what he was swimming for, and why, he realized that while he can’t live his father’s dream, that he can’t be his father, that his father wouldn’t have wanted him to swim for him, he wants Rin to swim for himself, for his own team, for his friends.

Rin made huge strides to change himself after that. He’s no longer that tormented kid who lost himself. He doesn’t cry over losing if that means he has friends he can always challenge. He doesn’t shrug anyone off and internalize his struggles anymore.

Rin did a lot of wrong while he was going through his shit, as any normal person is when they’re trying to figure themselves out, but Rin isn’t that guy anymore. He might still be selfish, a little too fixated on Haruka’s swimming and being rivals, but again, Rin has the sense of a future trainer, who saw untapped potential in Haruka and pushed him towards a dream.

When he brought Haru to Australia, he asked Haru if he wanted to swim in the same pool as the Australian team, or if he wanted to swim in the basic pool. Rin gave Haru options, and Haru chose on his own what he wanted to do. Rin only wants the best for his friends, and in a way, I think that was his way of both showing Haru what he struggled with being in Australia (having lost sight of his father’s dream; very similar to Haruka not having a dream or future at all), and helping Haru find one, much like Haru and everyone helped him make a newfound dream.

He’s no longer that angst-y jerk, sure he let’s his emotions get the better of him sometimes but who doesn’t? Rin’s learned his lessons, and is making up or has made up for them in the subtle ways he knows how.

This got very, very long, and if you made it this far, congrats. This is just my hot take on Rin as I understand him, and you’re welcome to ask me any questions that come to mind or expand on anything or correct me if I’m wrong. I would love it if you did <3

#Rin Matsuoka */ head canon #ITS LONG IM SORRY #but if you read it ilu and thank u

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inaturalist · 6 years

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Holy Mola! - The Oral History of an iNat Identification

The iNaturalist community made international headlines a few weeks ago after the first hoodwinker sunfish (Mola tecta) seen in North America was shared and then identified via iNaturalist and some dedicated participants. It really is a great story that shows the power of collaboration and the importance of keeping an open (and optimistic!) mind, so I thought it would be fun to compile an oral (although in this case, written) history from the participants.

What follows are the lightly edited and condensed recollections of most of the people involved, put together as chronologically as possible. I have not heard back from all participants, but am happy to add your input if you message me.

Jessica Nielsen (Coal Point Oil Reserve): My first observation of the hoodwinker sunfish was on the morning of February 19th, 2019. A colleague, Mark Holmgren, and I were conducting the reserve's monthly bird monitoring survey at around 7:00 am and noticed a tall dorsal fin flopping about in the water about a hundred meters off of the point at Coal Oil Point Reserve. We weren't sure at the time what animal we were looking at as we couldn't see it very clearly in the water, but we assumed it was some kind of marine mammal based on the size of the fin and head. Later the same day, when a 7 foot long sunfish washed up on the beach, we realized that was what we had seen that morning.

I was alerted to the washed up fish by one of our UCSB student interns, Ruth Alcantara... Unfortunately, the fish was already dead but it was still a sight to see such a large and unusual fish up close. I took some measurements and photos and posted the finding to Coal Oil Point Reserve’s Facebook page.

Daniel Spach (Wilderness Youth Project): We were about to leave Devereux that day after tidepooling for a couple hours when a couple of the kids spotted what looked like a dead seal or something in an unusual posture near the beach on the rocks. When we got over there we were stunned to find something I had never seen or heard of anyone finding on a Santa Barbara beach... a Sun Fish? It was longer than I am tall, over 7 feet I'd say, super flat and roundish, with a mouth big enough to swallow my head. All the kids gathered round and were giddily excited about it, noting the shape of the fins and eyes, making guesses as to its watery demise. Everyone seemed a bit scared to touch it though, thinking it would be slimy like most decomposing fish we'd encountered but it's skin was actually extremely hard, dense, and rough, like an ocean rhino or something.

Kittyhawk snapped a few pictures [TI: see above] with her phone. The kids all wanted to make sure their parents would get a copy of the pictures. Might be the only time any of us will encounter this fish for our lifetimes.

Jeff Phillips (@ljefe): My 10-year old son Pierce participates in the Wilderness Youth Project’s after school program every Wednesday. [On] Feb 22, when I met the group to pick up my son and friends at 5:30pm, they were excited about this huge fish they had found on the beach during their afternoon outing (sometime between 2 and 4:30pm). I’m a biologist with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service so they knew I’d be excited about it. I had them send me the photo and with my son’s help to mark the location, I posted it on iNaturalist, originally identifying it as Mola mola. I thoroughly enjoyed the ensuing discussion among tomleeturner, rfoster, and mnyegaard.

Tom Turner (@tomeleeturner): I saw [Jessica’s] post and went down there with my family, because I wanted my 4 year old son to check it out. I posted it on iNat, of course, because…that is what I do. Everyone was assuming it is a Mola mola. What happened next is a classic example of iNat at its best.

Ralph Foster (@rfoster): I have an alert for Mola spp and was checking through the day's offerings when I saw what I took to be a stranded Mola tecta. I was bewildered when I realised this was in California and not in New Zealand or Australia so I tagged Marianne [Nyegaard, who described Mola tecta], asking for her input.

Marianne Nyegaard (@mnyegaard): Ralph Foster emailed me with links to iNaturalist asking if I could see what species it was, strongly suspecting it was Mola tecta. I quickly checked and thought that the fish surely looked like a hoodwinker, but frustratingly, none of the many photos showed the clavus [TI: aka what sunfishes’ back “fin” is called] clearly. And with a fish so far out of range, I was extremely reluctant to call it a hoodwinker without clear and unambiguous evidence of its identity... I emailed Ralph and told him we needed more photographs and ideally a tissue sample, and posted on iNaturalist that his was probably just a Mola mola.

Ralph Foster: Since there were no diagnostic features shown, I also tagged the observer (@sealovelife) asking if there were more images available, which is when Tom directed me to his observation.

Tom Turner: By this time I was already out on the beach in the dark looking for the fish to get better photos, because what could be more fun than this? Alas, the tide had floated it away again.

Marianne Nyegaard: I then had a cup of coffee and doubt starting creeping in... I spent the next few hours obsessively zooming in on all the photos posted on iNaturalist... Some photos showed peoples’ hands on the sunfish, so I used their fingernails to gauge the scale and compared the skin with my archive photos. Even though the resolution just wasn't high enough to be sure, I started convincing myself the skin at least wasn't incompatible with Mola tecta and that ….perhaps it was a hoodwinker?... But I felt I needed to be absolutely 100% sure before settling on an ID, seeing I had described the hoodwinker and would need to back up my ID with absolute certainty with a specimen so far away from home.

I woke up to an email from Jessica Nielsen saying [she and Tom] were keen to go back out and find the fish again so I sent them instructions of what to look for and photograph, and then sat on the edge of my chair with all fingers and toes crossed that they would find it.

Tom Turner: At low tide (now two days later), I started biking on the beach from the east, and Jessica started walking from the west, 2 miles apart. We met in the middle, at the fish, now a few hundred yards farther east.

Jessica Nielsen: Tom and I waited for the tide to go out, found the fish...and we got to work taking the photos and fin clips requested. It really was exciting to collect the photos and samples knowing that it could potentially be such an extraordinary sighting! Once we sent over the photos, Marianne responded very quickly.

Marianne Nyegaard: I was away from my desk most of the day, but when I checked my emails in the afternoon I literally nearly fell off my chair (which I was sitting on the edge of!). Tom and Jessica had indeed found the fish and had photographed and examined it, and taken a tissue sample. A huge amount of extremely clear photos were in my inbox and there was just no doubt of the ID. They had also examined the clavus by hand to confirm the number of ossicles, which was just brilliant. Eyes and ears and hands on the ground half a world away, wow.

Ralph Foster: If it hadn't been for Tom and Jessica's willingness to revisit and examine the specimen we would not have known with certainty that this was, indeed, Mola tecta.

Jessica Nielsen: We were all thrilled to hear the news. Mola tecta was just recently discovered in 2017 (by Marianne and her research team) so there is still so much to learn about this species. I’m so glad that we could help these researchers make the final definitive ID.

Tom Turner: iNaturalist at its best: experienced novice loops in expert who loops in the expert who then helps us learn about our find and gets info she will use in her research. And it was fun and exciting for all.

Marianne Nyegaard: Ralph Foster also alerted the University of California, who did a beach dissection and collected a large number of samples. Tissue samples will soon be on the way from California to my sister’s lab in Denmark, where I do all my sunfish genetics.

So, within 24 hours after I had first been made aware of this stranding we had confirmed the ID. I just love iNaturalist and am continuously amazed by how much fun it is to “meet” passionate people all over the world

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binnsowen · 6 years

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Assassination Vacation Tour: Review

From the beginning of queuing, to the tiring taxi journey home, the atmosphere around Resorts World was electric. Even from turning up to the surprisingly short line at midday, the weather-battered, homeless-looking groups of fans seemed to still be full of energy, despite clearly looking like they’ve been there since the early hours of the morning. However, as exciting as this day panned out to be, it slowly got less and less exciting as the wait grew more and more. Keeping us outside for an extra 1 and half hours wasn’t the best decision on the staff’s behalf. Nonetheless, as soon as my ticket was scanned and I was in, the excitement I reminisced at the beginning of waiting instantly came flooding back, and the buzz was back in the air. After grabbing food, drinks and any merchandise that took my fancy, then came probably the strangest way of moving to the standing area I’ve ever encountered. The first 100-or-so people in the queue were stamped and given a number on the way in, and these numbered people had to stand in another queue in numerical order. We were then told to walk towards the standing area, in a single file line without pushing, shoving or trying to run to the front. To be honest, I’m surprised we weren’t asked to sit in our rows with our legs crossed and our finger over our lips. It was as if I was back in first school. It also doesn’t do them any favours as we were given a safety brief before the acts came out. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself and ask ‘When has this ever happened at a concert before?’. Despite all of this, I secured my place at the barrier, trying my hardest not to let the girl behind me elbow her way in front of me. It was only then, at this moment in time, that it hit me, at the same time it hit everyone else. The main reason all 15,000 people were there, for one reason and one reason only: to wait a further 3 hours for the supporting act and Tory to finish and go mad when Drake comes out.

Baka was the only supporting act; and despite it wasn’t the largest, he drew in quite the crowd and was the perfect act to hype everyone up for the remaining artists to appear later on in the night. I couldn’t help but feel bad for Baka though. Even though his set was strong and consistent, it didn’t quite have that ‘wow’ factor as any other performer would. And the worst thing? There isn’t anything that he can do as of now that will help that. Because, in terms of concerts, the only way to impress a large audience from the get-go is to be well cemented into the industry, so to speak. As I was looking around the arena, I noticed that almost 3 quarters of the seats weren’t even filled, and simply because nobody cares about who’s on stage at this time. Especially if it is someone that they haven't even heard of, as I could hear a few people from way back in the standing section question who Baka even was. Which goes to show, in hip-hop, the fans are reserved for those who are on top of the game and know how to finesse the business. Which I think, is extremely unfair, but that point is for another time.

After an hour of Baka’s set, then came Tory Lanez. And with him, came along a lot more hype and anticipation. This point in the night is where the butterflies in your belly begin to shake violently with excitement, as a 5 foot 7 inch Canadian darts around the stage screaming into a microphone, dressed in a varsity jacket, skinny jeans and high top vans. Lanez’s music never fails to get you into that high-school-party, drunk-and-high-at-the-same-time, I-think-I-can-sing-esque mood, and this mood only heightens when you see him perform live. Girls were going crazy for him singing about the birds that he’s slept with on songs like LUV, Say it and recently released Freaky, and the lads were waiting for the mosh-pit bangers to come such as Shooters, Litty and Ferris Wheel. So his performance was unsurprisingly diverse, and could appeal to any listener. And with the addition of Baka before hand, it was strategic placing them together as Tory supported the hype that Baka had created perfectly. The best thing however, was the fact the security has to literally pick him up and throw him back on the stage after he’d been for a spot of crowd surfing. I was creasing at the fact that he could've probably jumped back up, but it was as if they threw him back up just to take the mick. His set then came to a close, and then came the final interval of the evening, with nobody else to perform other than the man of the hour, or 7 hours in this instance.

After about 30 minutes of standing around, the interval music came to a stop and the lights began to dim. This alone was enough to send the audience into hysterics, as they screamed at the top of their lungs recording nothing but an empty stage. But the stage wasn’t empty for long, however it wasn’t filled with a bearded rapper from Toronto, it was filled with a square curtain covering the entire stage floor being lowered from the ceiling. When it hit the floor, images of palm trees, coconuts and hula girls were vibrantly projected onto the curtain and the theme music to Austin Powers was played. At this moment, I wondered whether or not I was at the show. I was looking around to see if people were as confused as I was, but they all seemed to be hypnotised by the silhouettes of a horny spy. But as the projections disappeared, there happened to be somebody behind the curtain. Somebody tall, in a Louis Vuitton assault vest, holding a microphone. Seeing this outline made the crowd even more hysterical. It was at this moment that the introduction of 8 out of 10 began playing, and then the figure came to life, rapping along to it. Because I was stood at the barrier, I could see slightly through the curtain and could easily tell that the figure was Drake, if it wasn’t obvious enough. After the first verse ended, the curtain was raised to reveal the 6 God himself, live in the flesh. A part of me couldn’t believe it. That was the real Drake, stood a couple of meters in front of me. And as his performance went on, it wasn’t settling in any more.

Drake’s live performances are a priceless experience. From the clever use of pyrotechnics to the talented back up dancers that accompanied him on stage, you can clearly tell that Drake is at his best when he is on stage. Despite this, it pains me to admit that I felt his show was rushed and disorganised. Some songs were left unfinished, which was a shame because the older Drake songs on the set list (arguably his best era) were played for about 10 seconds each. To rub salt in the wound, they were all played with no breaks or intermission between each other. So in a sense, there was no real point in playing them at all. It was almost as if he had somewhere much better to be than there. Because of this, I found it hard at times to engage with him and with what he was doing, even though I desperately wanted to. Nevertheless, he still managed to put out an exceptional performance of his recent music. The transitions between certain tracks were executed smoothly, and his delivery of them were executed even more so. I really managed to notice the diversity of Drake as an artist whilst watching him, which is a skill I see many other rappers attempt but fail. He can easily perform a song such as Jumpman with the expected energy and charisma, and then manage to calm himself and the arena down with a soft and soppy performance of Peak. He can have any audience on strings and is in complete control of how they act and feel throughout his performance. To obtain this skill to such a degree is something that no other musician has, which is one of the many reasons that Drake is the best performer out of today’s generation of rappers; and probably the best rapper out of them too. But again, that’s for another time.

To summarise, Baka and Tory Lanez hyped the night up perfectly; no other 2 acts could’ve done it better. However, Drake could’ve handled that hype a little bit better and his delivery of certain songs could’ve been a bit more consistent. But this slight criticism doesn’t diminish his performance in any way, shape or form: it was a quality show. Was it worth going? Absolutely. Was it worth £120 and a 7 hour wait? Absolutely not. I cannot recommend going to any Drake concert enough. It is an experience that cannot be matched by any other artist simply because of how much of a natural born performer he really is. But my only piece of advice would be to choose wisely. If you’re going to pay that much and wait that long, go to Canada and see him there. I feel as if it would've been worth that much if there was some sort of after party to go to, or some form of exclusives included in the ticket price. Whether that be merch or a smaller show or whatever, it just wasn’t quite £120 material. But one thing is for certain, I look forward to the release of Drake’s next album that he said he would be working on as soon as the Assassination Vacation is over. So if he was to rush the next 11 shows, I wouldn't mind at all.

#drake #torylanez #bakanotnice #hiphop #resortsworld #assassinationvacation

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inkofthesky · 6 years

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Sweet Pea/Reader - Classy

Pairing: Sweet Pea/Reader Title: Classy Fandom: Riverdale Word Count: 4115 Warnings: none, except maybe siblings insulting each other (but with love), also Sweet Pea is being the literal embodiment of “bad boy but soft for you” so be prepared for the feels Category: FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF and romance Author’s note: Should I be studying instead of writing? Yes. Anyways: do you like Sweet Peas perspective better or the Reader as an I-narrator? Description: Sweet Pea had been crushing on the nerdy girl in his English class for months, until he gathered all the Serpent-confidence he had and asked her out. They make a deal: he reads her favorite book and she agrees on a date with him. And hell, was Sweet Pea excited for this date.

Serpents love dares, bets and anything else that can fuel their ego. That’s a fact. So it wasn’t unusual that the young Serpents were sitting together during their lunchbreak at Northside High and came up with dares after dares to prove each other their bravery.

The teenagers sat on the lawn outside of Northside High. They preferred this to the cafeteria, mainly because of the current good weather and because the ones who wanted to could light up their cigarettes. Fangs was just dared to take a bite of the half-eaten sandwich that was already lying on the grass when they arrived. He made quite a show of how disgusting it is before he eventually complied, took a bite and tossed the rest of the sandwich a couple meters further away.

“So, how’s the free sandwich, Fangs?”, Sweet Pea asked mockingly, and Fangs slapped him jokingly on the shoulder.

“Shut up, Pea. You know what you should do? You can prove your bravery by asking the girl out that’s sitting under that tree.”, Fangs pointed into the direction the girl was sitting in. All heads turned to get a glimpse of the girl Fangs was talking about. The moment Sweet Pea saw her, he wanted nothing more than to punch Fangs in the face. Fangs knew very well that Sweet Pea had more than just a slight crush on this girl and had been trying to figure out how to ask her out for months. Toni next to him began laughing, she knew too. And even Cheryl, who ditched the Northsiders to sit with the Serpents, smiled knowingly. Either Toni told her, or the Blossom girl figured it out herself.

“Easy task.”, Sweet Pea wasn’t sure if that was him or his ego speaking. Either way, he wasn’t going to get out of it now. He looked over to the girl that was leaning on the tree and tried to figure out if she could hear them. But she was too far away and if he could make it out correctly, she was wearing headphones, too. The girl was in his English class and when she wasn’t hidden behind a book, she was radiating pure joy. Sweet Pea was fascinated how so much cheerfulness and kindness fit into such a tiny person. From what he had heard, she was always on top of her class but never hesitated for a split second to help people that weren’t as quick in understanding everything as she was. He knew that the two of them were basically polar opposites, but he guessed that this what made him so incredibly attracted to her. He always loved challenges, learning new things, chasing after things he shouldn’t. And on top of that she was smart, pretty, confident, genuine, honest, cute… fuck. Sweet Pea realized in this very moment that he was already completely and utterly whipped.

“Just go and ask her out.”, Jughead said and the others nodded approvingly.

“Alright. I’ll do it. Just don’t stare too obviously.”, Sweet Pea gave in and sighted. His heart was already pounding twice as fast as it should, and he got up quickly, so no one noticed the slight blush appearing on his cheeks. God, what was happening to him? He never blushed before. Ever. This girl was doing things to him…

It took him a couple steps until he reached the tree she was sitting under. He hesitated for a moment again. She looked so peaceful when she was reading, like she lived in her own world without any sorrows.

But there was no turning back now, because she already noticed him and pulled out both of her earbuds. She was looking at him expectantly.

“Can I sit with you?”, Sweet Pea asked, and she smiled. The smile made Sweet Pea feel warm inside and it also calmed him down. His heart was now beating only slightly faster than normally and he felt comfortable. She seemed happy to talk to him, which made him way less nervous.

“Yes, of course. How are you today?”, she asked and Sweet Pea sat down immediately. The girl packed the headphones and the book into her bag. He now had her full attention, she didn’t even leave one earbud in, like most people would.

“I’m fine, thanks. What about you? And what were you reading?”, Sweet Pea asked, and he knew that the second question was the right one to ask, because her eyes lit up.

“It’s called ‘The fault in our stars’ by John Green and it’s amazing! I already read it multiple times, but I had to re-read it again, it’s one of my favorites.”, she said and then proceeded to explain what happened in the book. And even if he didn’t really get the summary of the book that she was giving him – something with cancer and pipes –, he was listening carefully.

“It sounds really good. Maybe I should read it too?”, Sweet Pea suggested. Given the fact that he didn’t own a single book that wasn’t a manual, he was surprised himself. Sweet Pea really wasn’t the type to read books, that had always been Jugheads thing, but he was willing to try. The girl sitting next to him seemed surprised too, but in a positive way.

“Yes, you absolutely should! You can borrow my copy. I have another copy at home – there was this special edition and I just had to get it, so now I have two.”, she offered and was laughing a little. Sweet Pea didn’t quite understand why someone would need to own the same book twice, but he nodded, and she was reaching over to her backpack to get out the book. She quickly looked which page was market with her bookmark, before she handed it to Sweet Pea.

“Here you go. But you have to be careful with it! I hate it when the edges are torn or pages are crumbled.”, she said and Sweet Pea nodded understandingly. This book was precious to her and he would take good care of it. God, he was turning into such a softie because of her.

“What about this: I read the book and after I finish it, we go to Pop’s together to discuss it?”, he suggested, and she laughed a little while running her fingers through her hair.

“Are you asking me out on a date, Sweet Pea?”, she asked cheekily and if Sweet Pea wasn’t reading every sign wrong, she was definitely flirting with him.

“Yes, I am. So what do you say, little nerd?”, Sweet Pea said and winked at her. He looked her straight in the eyes when he said ‘little nerd’ to figure out if she liked the nickname. Judging by the blush that appeared on her cheeks, she did like it. He smiled to himself, he would definitely keep calling her that. She was staring back into his eyes and Sweet Pea felt like the air was about to burst into flames because of the tension they had. They were interrupted by the ringing of the school bell, which announced the end of lunch break. Both looked at the entrance, where the other students slowly made their way back inside. His little nerd looked back at him.

“I hope you read the book fast, bad boy.”, she said, before taking her bag, getting up and disappearing within the other students without looking back. Sweet Pea would forever deny that he was staring at her ass while she walked away, but he definitely did.

Damn, who would have thought she would flirt back that heavily? Sweet Pea was still a bit flashed by the entire interaction and by how well it went. He really didn’t expect that. And he also didn’t expect to score a date with her. A smile was spreading on his face and he had the faint suspicion that this smile wasn’t going to disappear anytime soon. She agreed on a date with him. He had been The Serpent looked down to the book in his hands and turned to the last page. Oh god, over 313 pages. It didn’t look like that many. Was it possible for him to read 100 pages each day, so he could take her out by Friday? It had to be possible.

“How was it?”, asked a voice that sounded very much like Toni’s. When Sweet Pea looked up, he saw the Serpents standing in front of him. He got up and smiled confidently. Oh right, the bet. He needed to play it cool.

“Good. Very good. We made a deal: I’ll read her favorite book…”, Sweet Pea gestured to the book in his hands, “…and then we’ll go on a date to ‘discuss it’.”. The Serpents looked pretty impressed and if Sweet Pea’s ego didn’t already skyrocket, then it definitely did now.

“Damn, is that the nerd version of Netflix and Chill?”, Fangs laughed and the other Serpents, including Sweet Pea, joined.

“It’s a good book. John Green is an exceptional author.”, Jughead mentioned and Sweet Pea nodded. If Jughead and his little nerd liked the book, it had to be good. The young Serpents made their way back into the school and then separated to go to their individual classes.

Sweet Pea was sitting in his history class and just couldn’t find himself to pay attention. His mind jumped from the date to her and back. He carefully pulled the book out of his bag. The teacher was completely incompetent and was so busy holding his monologue that he never noticed what the students were doing. Sweet Pea usually was on his phone, might he might as well start reading the book now.

By the time the bell rang and announced the end of school, he had reached page 38. Only 62 more pages to go for today. Sweet Pea had to admit, reading wasn’t as much of a torture than he initially thought it would be. The book was good so far, but he probably would still forever be the person to prefer movies. The raven-haired Serpent carefully put the book back into his bag and then left the school. He said goodbye to the other Serpents, sat on his motorcycle and drove home to the Southside.

Once he reached his trailer, he ate a snack and then grabbed the book again. Sweet Pea put on some music, lied on his bed and opened the book where he had closed it roughly 20 minutes before. 62 pages. He could do that.

And he was indeed able to do that. Sweet Pea read his 100 pages on this day and on the following two days too. When he closed the book – no, he absolutely did not cry, he was a Serpent – he already thought about how to talk to his crush on the next day.

The next day came by quickly and Sweet Pea a little excited when he arrived at school, even though he was a little late. Of course, he didn’t show it – he had a reputation to keep, after all – but no one needed to know about the little victory dance he did in his bathroom this morning. He parked his motorcycle and hurried to class, because his first class was English – and that meant his little nerd was probably already sitting in the second row waiting for class to start.

When Sweet Pea set foot in the classroom, the lesson had already begun. He quickly dropped his stuff on the desk next to his crush and sat down. English was one only class where he sat in the second row, and that was all due the girl sitting next to him. He might have had to chase away a different girl from this particular seat at the beginning of the school year, but it was totally worth it.

Sweet Pea ripped out a piece of paper out of his folder, grabbed a pen and wrote on it: ‘Are you cancer? Because you have gotten to my heart. I’ll pick you up at 6?’. Then he took out the book and made sure the girl next to him saw him putting in the small piece of paper, before he handed it to her. He knew the pickup line was bad, but he also had the feeling that she might like it. Sweet Pea was proven right, when seconds later he heard a quiet giggle and then he felt a light slap on his arm.

“The pickup line is terrible, just so you know. But yes, 6 is fine. Do you know where I live?”, she whispered into his ear and Sweet Pea could feel her breath on his skin of his neck.

“I don’t. But why don’t you give me your phone number, so you can text me your address later?”, Sweet Pea whispered back and winked at her. She laughed a little and nodded, before she took a pen out of her pencil case. Then the beautiful girl rolled up the sleeve of Sweet Pea’s leather jacket a little and wrote her phone number on his arm. The line of her phone number was far from being straight, but the little heart she drew at the end of it definitely made up for it. She put her pen back where it came from and rolled Sweet Pea’s sleeve back down. He noticed that her hands lingered a little longer than what would have been necessary, but he wasn’t going to complain.

Then she turned her attention back to the teacher, she wasn’t the type of person to talk during the entire lesson. Sweet Pea didn’t really care what the teacher was trying to tell them, he proceeded to stare at the beautiful girl next to him. She was wearing jeans and a white oversized sweater. Nothing unusual, but the sweater paws made her look incredibly cute. Sweet Pea couldn’t help but wonder how she would look in his clothes. They probably were even bigger than the oversized sweater she was wearing right now. His sweaters would most likely reach down to the middle of her thigh and oh god, the sweater paws. Sweet Pea was weak for cute girls with sweater paws, but he would never tell admit that over his dead body.

He texted his little nerd directly after school and she replied instantly, telling him where to pick him up. They kept on texting throughout the entire day and when the clock approached five, Sweat Pea took a quick shower, shaved, put on some cologne and fixed his hair. Then he looked for something to wear. The Serpent didn’t really own that many clothes and all of them looked pretty much similar. He decided on wearing black ripped jeans, a green tight T-shirt and – of course – his Serpent leather jacket. After that, he realized that he needed a second helmet. There was no way his little nerd was getting on a motorcycle without a helmet.

The clock was showing 5:50pm when Sweet Pea pulled the motorcycle over to stop in front of the house that had to be hers. It really matched her. A small, neat house with a pretty garden. Sweet Pea imagined her to live with her parents, have a golden retriever and everything to be picture-perfect. He internally debated whether to call her or ring the bell, but he decided on the later. He got off his motorcycle and walked up to the door. Some of the windows were open, so he already heard voices talking from the inside and the nearer he got, the clearer they got.

“Remember not to fuck him on the first date, we’re classy.”, he heard a voice from the inside. It couldn’t be her mother, so it probably was her sister. He didn’t know she had siblings. Nevertheless, Sweet Pea had to laugh a little. Amazing advice.

“I saw you practicing deepthroating with a banana in the kitchen last week, don’t hit me with ‘classy’.”, now that was a voice he recognized – his date. Sweet Peas laugh got a little louder, but he didn’t ring the bell yet. He was too interested on how this conversation would continue.

“That is a completely unrelated incident! Also, practice makes perfect and I need to be prepared for my date with Reggie.”, the sister spoke up again. Was this what having siblings was like?

“And you dare to claim that we’re classy. I hope you choke on his dick.”, that was his crush speaking again and now Sweet Pea couldn’t keep his laughter quiet anymore. The last sentence was too much. Sweet Pea didn’t think he could be more impressed with the tiny girl but turns out he was wrong. He might have to marry her right on the spot.

“I think that’s your date laughing outside.” The sister seemed very amused and maybe a tiny bit sorry. But just a little.

“Oh fuck. Sweet Pea?” Was this panic in her voice? Probably.

“Yes?”, Sweet Pea managed to choke out between his laughter. The door in front of him opened and if he hadn’t been busy trying to control his laughter, he might have been stunned by her appearance. But now trying to calm down was more important, compliments could wait.

“We will pretend like this never happened or I can never look you in the eyes again.”, the girl in front of him said. Sweet Pea took a deep breath and smiled at her.

“Alright, alright. You look beautiful, by the way. I really like your jacket. We match.”, Sweet Pea said as the both of them walked towards his motorcycle. She was wearing a leather jacket, black jeans and a tight dark green shirt under it. Basically, a feminine version of the outfit Sweet Pea was wearing himself.

“I tried to adapt to your Serpent aesthetics and I think I did an amazing job.”, she said and winked at him. God, was she cute. And the leather jacket made her look sexy as hell. Sweet Pea was convinced that this combination should be forbidden by law because it might actually kill him.

“You did. I never thought the Serpent style suited you, little nerd.”, Sweet Pea said and handed her the second helmet. He got on his motorcycle and gestured for her to do the same. The pretty girl sat behind him and wrapped her arms around him. Sweet Pea definitely felt her boobs pressing onto his back and swallowed, but he started the engine.

It took them only a few minutes to reach Pop’s. It wasn’t the usual spot for Serpents like Sweet Pea to hang out, but it was perfect for a date. They got off the motorcycle, took of their helmets and went straight inside. His little nerd ran her fingers through her hair trying to fix it a little. She probably thought the helmet had messed it up somehow.

“Your hair looks stunning, don’t worry.”, Sweet Pea whispered in her ear right before they sat down on opposite sides of the booth. She blushed and smiled.

“So what do you want to eat?”, Sweet Pea asked and took the menu into his hands.

“A vanilla milkshake and a cheeseburger? Or should I rather eat a salad?”, she said, and her brows furrowed a bit. They always did when she was thinking about something.

“Well what do you like better, little nerd?”, Sweet Pea asked, and she got a little shy at the nickname.

“The cheeseburger. But it has so many calories and the milkshake too…”, the girl in front of him trailed off and Sweet Pea was a little taken aback.

“Are you serious? You look amazing, no need to count calories. It’s the cheeseburger for you then. Do you also want fries?”, he suggested, and she hesitated for a bit. Sweet Pea saw that she wanted to say yes, but still worried about the calories.

“That’s a yes, I’m getting you fries to. And if you decide that you don’t want them, I’ll eat the rest. Or I’ll help you burn all the extra calories later.”, the raven-haired boy said and wiggled his eyebrows at the last sentence, which made the girl sitting in front of him laugh.

“Okay.”, she agreed and when Pop’s came over shortly after, Sweet Pea ordered for her and the same thing for himself.

They started to talk about everything and nothing at the same time. Sweet Pea was amazed how well the two of them got along, despite them being so different. But they had the same kind of humor and both no shame when it came to flirting. The conversation had no awkward silences, just times where they couldn’t talk because they were busy laughing.

So twenty minutes later, when their food arrived, Sweet Pea was already sure that this was the best date he’s ever been on. They ate quite quickly, and Sweet Pea was very glad to see her eat the cheeseburger and all of her fries. She looked happy here with him and Sweet Peas was, too. He was happy. Something he hadn’t really been in a long time. Pop’s took their empty plates away and just left them with their half-empty milkshakes.

“Can I see you rings and the tattoo on your thump?”, the pretty girl in front of him asked. Sweet Pea nodded. His little nerd grabbed his hands and looked at them. Sweet Pea noticed how tiny her hands were compared to his and smiled a little. What a cutie.

“I really like the tattoo. It fits your bad boy image.”, she said while running her fingers over it. Sweet Pea grabbed her hands, so the tattoo-observation turned into holding her hands. The position was a little awkward because they sat on opposite sides of the booth and had to hold hands on the table, but Sweet Pea didn’t mind. And judging by the slight blush that appeared on the cheeks of the girl in front of him, she didn’t mind either.

They kept on talking and talking ang talking, until the clock hit 9pm. It was slowly getting darker outside and Sweet Pea had an idea.

“How about we pay and then we go and watch the sunset?”, he suggested and the pretty girl in front of him nodded happily. It seemed like she was very excited about his suggestion.

“Yes, please! That sounds amazing.”, she said and stroked Sweet Peas hand. They called Pop’s over and payed – separately. Sweet Pea wanted to pay for both at first, before she refused because she was ‘a strong independent woman and they’re both broke high schoolers so it’s only fair’. It made Sweet Pea chuckle, but he agreed.

The two of the got back onto the motorcycle and Sweet Pea started heading towards the small hill the town had.

It took them roughly 15 minutes until they reached the spot that Sweet Pea hand in mind. The sun was just about to set and the girl next to him stared at the sky in awe. Sweet Pea paid the vibrant mix of red, orange and yellow a little of attention, before his thoughts started to trail off. Was it okay to kiss her now? He wanted to so badly.

“Sweet Pea?”, she spoke up and looked up to him. Her eyes were sparkling so beautiful in the light of the disappearing sun that he forgot how to breathe for a second.

“Would you kiss me already? I’ve been waiting the whole time.”, she said and Sweet Pea’s ego was a little hurt since she made the first move. Nevertheless, he leaned down to the girl he had been crushing on for months in record speed. Their lips collided, and Sweet Pea felt things he never did before. The blood was pumping in his veins like the blood cells were racing each other. Her fingers played with the hair on his neck and he regretted that he couldn’t tattoo the feeling of her touch onto his skin because he never wanted it to disappear. Sweet Pea had both arms wrapped around her as tight as he could, but it still felt like it wasn’t close enough. Could someone get high on feelings? Because if the answer was yes, then that was what was happening to him in this very moment. Sweet Pea felt like he needed to pull away to catch his breath, but he wasn’t ready to disconnect their lips just yet. Eventually, he did give in to his body’s scream for oxygen and brought a little distance between the two of them. But only to pull her even closer just seconds later.

And no, ‘classy’ really wasn’t the right word.

#riverdale #riverdale fanfiction #riverdale serpents #sweet pea #sweet pea/reader #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea fanfiction #one shot #riverdale one shot #southside serpents #sweet pea fluff

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lichlover · 7 years

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If you’re taking prompts I’d love to know what you think would happen if one of the 100 worlds the seven birds went to was earth. Like how many milliseconds would it take lup and taako to get arrested/what would happen with magic/etc.

okay, so, admittedly i misread this, but it was already turning out in a super fun way so i just decided to run with it. have a little something from post-canon!

please consider donating to my ko-fi!

On the third ring, Joaquin has to step out of his math class, because whoever’s calling him is calling instead of texting and that means it’s serious.

All eyes are on him as he whispers an apology to his teacher and steps out into the hallway. He’s sure it’s not just because of the call; having magic powers tends to make him a target for people’s stares, nowadays. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to have gotten him much else. An exemption from math class, for example.

The door swings mercifully shut behind him, and Joaquin presses the phone to his ear. “Uh, hi, whoever this is?” he whispers, because one of the hall monitors is a few doors down and eyeing him suspiciously. “This isn’t a good time.”

“Hey, kid! Am I on the right frequency?”

Joaquin freezes and cranks up the volume. “Uh, sorry… is this—”

“Taako,” the voice on the other end drawls. “Y’know, from TV? And also the end of the world, keep fuckin’ forgetting about that one. Uh… listen. I’ve got a bit of a—uh, we have a bit of a situation here, and—”

“Whoa, just—hold on a sec.” The hall monitor is definitely staring now. “Where is here? Where are you? How did you even get my number?”

“World savior privileges. So the thing is—”

Joaquin blinks. “Oh my God, are you… are you here in this world? Like, actually here?”

He can practically hear Taako’s shrug through the phone. “Near as I can tell.”

“Oh my God,” Joaquin repeats. He’s starting to feel a little faint, and he’s sure it’s not because of his late lunch period. “What are you doing here? I thought that was against the—the rules, or whatever? Are you gonna get arrested by the dimension police? Oh, shit—” He breaks off when the hall monitor’s glare intensifies, and continues in a lower voice. “Am I gonna get arrested by the dimension police?”

“Probably not. Uh, speaking of which! They told me we only get one phone call, so we really—we really gotta make this one count here—”

“One phone call? Oh, holy shit, did you get arrested?”

From a few meters away, he sees the hall monitor unclip a walkie-talkie from her belt. Why his school has to go so hard with hall monitors, Joaquin will never understand, but he has a feeling his time is almost up. “Okay, okay, just—how did you—no, nevermind, that doesn’t matter. Where are you?”

“Uh…” Taako’s voice jumps a good octave. The receiver crackles, and Joaquin can hear a muffled question, followed by a brief, snappish argument. “This fuckin’ guy, I swear to gods—uh, the Miami Beach police station? Whatever the hell that means. They got better room service in the Eternal Stockade, and that’s—that’s sayin’ something.”

“Miami Beach police station,” Joaquin repeats. “Okay, I’m on my way. Just hang in there, and, uh, don’t do anything stupid, I guess?”

A scoff fizzles through the phone. “You don’t halfta tell me twice.”

“Yes, you do!” comes another, more distant voice. One Joaquin recognizes.

“Is that Lup?” he says, and now his voice is about to jump another octave, too. “She’s there with you?”

“Yeah, she’s—hey, Fantasy Terminator, I’ll tell ya when my time is up, alright? Listen, kid, bring a taco or two with you, alright? It’ll be ironic, and also, I’m fuckin’ starving. Cool. Thanks. Bye!”

“Um, okay, I will. But—” The connection goes dead, which Joaquin will admit he should have seen coming. He shoves his phone in his pocket and flags down the hall monitor, who has the walkie-talkie in her hand and looks about ready to bring out the big guns. “Hey, hey, uh,” he says, trying not to think about how her walkie might be as intimidating as the Hunger itself. “I—um, I’m sorry to disturb the peace and, uh, all that, but I really gotta go.”

The hall monitor walks him down to the counselor’s office, and when the counselor asks him what’s wrong, his brain barrels past “family emergency” and goes straight to “world savior stuff,” verbatim.

It turns out to be the better idea, anyway. Not ten minutes later, Joaquin is standing at a bus stop with the scrapings of a fare in his hand.

It’s strange to be downtown in the middle of the day. He stops by a locally owned Mexican place, feeling guilty all the way, and picks up two tacos with all the embellishments because he had said he would. The police station is a short walk from there. Joaquin recognizes a couple of the officers from their off-duty stops at the taco truck, and they wave at him as he hurries past, but he’s a little too frazzled to offer them anything but a weak smile in return. This isn’t the way he’d supposed he would spend his Tuesday. Granted, his weekdays are a bit unpredictable now, what with the impromptu interviews and the press showing up unannounced to his actual, literal house, but still. This is a lot different.

This is interdimensional.

And yes, it’s a bad and completely baffling situation, but Joaquin can’t help but feel a tiny thrill at the thought. His problems are interdimensional now. How many high schoolers can say that?

He promptly forgets about the cool factor of his morning when the main floor comes into view. There are several desks and a few annoyed-looking detectives between them, but that doesn’t stop Joaquin’s gaze from instantly snapping to the two lounging figures in the holding cell.

“Holy shit,” he says. It’s a perfectly fair thing to say.

From behind bars, Taako, from TV and the end of the world, lifts a lazy finger in greeting. “Took you long enough, huh?”

A bright red jacket hits him in the shoulder. “Don’t be fucking rude,” says Lup, and waves. “ ’Sup, kiddo?”

It occurs to Joaquin just then that he can never, ever tell his friends about this, because if they find out he’s met two of the Seven Birds in person, he can forget about his world savior glory forever. “Uh… I’m good,” he calls, doing his best to ignore the outright stares he’s receiving from the personnel in the room. “All good over here! Yeah.”

One of the detectives comes around her desk and shoots a dubious look at the holding cell. “You called Joaquin Terrero?”

“Is that his full name?” says Taako. Lup’s jacket nails him in the arm again and he tries to snatch it out of her hands, to no avail.

The detective sighs and turns to Joaquin with something suspended between an apologetic smile and an all-out grimace. “They’ve been like that ever since we brought them in. Um, Mr. Terrero—”

“Joaquin is fine.” Ever since Story and Song, he’s been called Mr. Terrero or sir just about everywhere he goes. Weirdness aside, it makes Joaquin feel like he’s always at a parent-teacher conference. “So what, uh… what happened?”

Detective Alvarez, according to her name tag, motions for him to sit down. He does, and she takes a seat across from him, still eyeing the holding cell as Taako and Lup bicker. “There were a few misdemeanors,” she says.

Misdemeanor means not serious. Joaquin silently thanks his social studies teacher.

“The thing is,” the detective continues, “these misdemeanors weren’t standard. I mean—” She sighs. “For one, they just appeared in the middle of a busy street and scared several pedestrians half to death. They said it was thanks to those belts.”

Only then does Joaquin notice the belts. He’d lumped it in with the rest of the twins’ eccentric style, but there they are, silvery and slim and otherwise pretty innocuous. “And that’s how they got here?”

“It’s science, babe,” Lup interjects. “We got it under control.”

She hooks a thumb over her belt with a conspicuous wink, and Detective Alvarez turns pink and clears her throat. “Of course,” she says, hurriedly. “That’s just not the point.”

There’s a look of extreme discomfort on her face, and Joaquin doesn’t blame her. It had been enough of an ordeal getting a call from one of the Seven Birds, nevermind keeping two of them in a holding cell. (There’s a joke there about birds and cages that he’ll have to remember for later.) “Then they went to a restaurant and tried to pay for their food with… well, this.”

Detective Alvarez opens a drawer, and Joaquin’s eyes go wide at the sight of several large, priceless-looking gems in an evidence bag. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out, save for an awkward-sounding croak. He’d known Taako was rich—not rich.

Speaking of which. From across the room, Taako cups a hand around his mouth and calls out. “Those the jewels? They’re my husband’s paycheck, for gods’ sake! Are you gonna—are you tryin’ to tell me Death isn’t legit?”

The look on Detective Alvarez’s face seems to imply they’ve had this conversation before. “You can’t pay for food with giant jewels.”

“You can if you’re not a fuckin’ coward,” Taako murmurs, and slouches back against the wall. He takes another jacket to the chest for that.

Joaquin takes a deep breath. “Okay. Uh, Detective Alvarez, I’m really sorry that these two caused a disturbance.”

“Listen, these aren’t—the misdemeanors aren’t serious. We won’t hold them, and we won’t fine them—I mean, they’re the Birds,” says Detective Alvarez. “It wouldn’t be great for the universe anyway. The precinct just wanted to make sure they have someone here who can…” She lowers her voice. “You know, keep an eye on them?”

“They’re not super great at being on Earth, huh?”

“No. Definitely not.”

“I’ll take care of them,” Joaquin promises. “I’m really sorry, Detective.”

Detective Alvarez offers up a weary smile. “You’re a good kid. Just get them out of here, okay?”

“I will,” says Joaquin.

He does.

They emerge into a bright, warm afternoon, and Taako hisses, yanking a pair of sunglasses over his eyes. “Sheesh. How long’s it been? A year?”

“An hour,” says Lup, checking her watch.

“Oh.” He plucks one of the tacos from the bag in Joaquin’s hand. “Cheers, kid. Not as good as mine, but it—it’ll do, I guess.”

“Thanks for bailing us out.” Lup nudges Joaquin and flashes a brilliant smile. She’s definitely more intimidating in person, and also a full head taller than him, which means he has to crane his neck and squint to see her against the sun. “So, you’re taking us on a tour, right?”

Joaquin blinks. “I—uh, I have school.”

Taako snorts, which, yeah, he deserves that. “That’s gotta be the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard.”

“Lame,” Lup chimes in. She picks the other taco out of the bag and says, “Give us the grand tour, kid! We’re only here for… uh, two more hours, looks like. Gotta make the most of our time before we head back home.”

“Oh, yeah, that—you never said what you were doing here?”

“Visiting you, duh,” she says. “Taako wouldn’t shut up about how he realized your potential, and—”

“Yeah, speaking of shutting up!” says Taako, his voice shrill. He takes an unceremonious bite of the taco and tugs the brim of his hat a little lower. “You gonna show us around, or what?”

“That’s not speaking of shutting up, ’Ko.”

“Don’t—you don’t get to lecture me on semantics—”

Joaquin bites back a smile and says, “You guys wanna see the beach?”

“Hell yeah,” they say as one, and high-five without having to look. Drift compatible, Joaquin thinks. It really is a perfect day, and a little magical—not in the actual sense, of course, but there’s something thrilling about knowing school will drag on without him. He’s got some world savior stuff to do; if showing around two of the Seven Birds counts as world savior stuff, of course, and he’s decided that it does.

Of course, that doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences to his actions. But Joaquin’s pretty smart, and he’s already thought of a contingency plan.

“Um, hey, so,” he starts, as they set off down the street. “Lup, uh—I’ve got this friend, Stephanie, and she would kill me if I didn’t get an autograph, or something… do you have, uh, a headshot or something like that? Like, she’s been dying to know if you still have an undercut…”

#frnkiequinn #ask #the adventure zone #taz balance #taako #lup #joaquin #fic #mine #i seriously cannot emphasize enough how fun this was to write #also: spot the seren reference!

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cicatriselle-blog · 6 years

Text

Ouch.

(Also known as: here’s how piercing my nipples was a glorious act of self-care and an important step in my recovery/healing/story!)

Sooo. Hi. It’s been a while. This is going to be long and rambling.

I got my nipples pierced a month ago. This is something I’ve been wanting to do for at least five or six years. it connects to Longtime in that when I’ve expressed that previously, he never explicitly was like, “no, you can’t do that”…but he very much made clear that he did not like that idea or the look and generally all sorts of negative-nope-naysay comments. Then, with the boy (who has all sorts of piercings, including his nipples, that he’d done himself—yes, I know, sigh)…I’d talked about it with him, and he said he’d pierce my nipples for me. Luckily, that never came to pass for a variety of reasons (the boy had supposedly pierced a lot of people in high school, but had stopped), but it goes to show how much I trusted the boy and how incorrectly calibrated my good idea meter was because of that. During our situationship (thanks @thegassedlight) there was even a point where he offhandedly let me know he’d pierced [some random girl’s name I’d never heard previously]. I was like. Uh. I’m not okay that you just, did that? Without saying anything or asking or letting me know? And he was like sorry, blah blah blah. (I am pretty sure he probably did indeed, but that he did it to his now-wife.) ANYWAY. Anyway.

The boy had really emotionally abused/fucked over another girl, whom he’d introduced me to and we’d interacted with a few times, whom I’ll refer to as Red. I poured my heart out to her the night and days following The Shit, and she and I traded timelines and found out that there was even a point that he was cheating on (at least??) me, Red, and his current wife. At some point I talked about the nipple piercings, one of the many things he said he’d/we’d do and it never happened, and she shared with me that her current boyfriend is a piercer and if I wanted to get it done to just let her know. (And I loved that narrative; getting my nipples pierced by the boyfriend of another girl who (was unfortunately) emotionally destroyed by the boy, too, but who is now doing so, so much better, and is loved by someone else that’s so, so much healthier for her.)

August 16th, 2017 was significant in that it was the day I broke up with the boy. I’d written a wonderful letter to him two days prior that I’ll post in a bit, which basically said either we do this or we don’t, I’m not tolerating this shit anymore, that I’m healing with or without him. We came together on the 16th…and he told me he wanted to help me heal….but as friends. Even though we’d been fucking and acting like a couple and not even two weeks prior had gone on a romantic camping trip. Why had I written him this letter at all? After our lovely trip toward the end of July 2017, my Spidey sense was tingling again in mid-August, as it did from time to time. I hadn’t looked in a while, but something told me to go look at [his now wife]’s Instagram. She’d blocked me on there for some weird reason (I have a feeling he’d taken her phone and done so), so I opened an incognito tab and saw a picture wherein she thanked the boy for dyeing her hair so well (despite him having told me he’d cut off contact with her since earlier in the year, other than some bullshit about how she was living with his best friend [x] and that’s why asdkajdlak I can’t even go into that. But because he’d told me he wanted me, he wanted to work on us, that he was choosing this relationship and had severed the relationship with her because I told him that can’t happen if you have any contact with her). Anyway. The dyed hair thing. I can’t even remember what he said in response, that he was at a friend’s house, and that she showed up, and needed help dyeing her hair, something. It was so stupid. SO, so, so, so, stupid. I didn’t believe it then. So I wrote him this letter. I was done with him telling me bullshit. I had reached a point where I was perfectly ready for the relationship to continue, with major changes, or for the relationship to end, and that be that. But it never ONCE occurred to me that he might not want to be with me romantically. That he thought of me as just a friend. Because I certainly don’t go on romantic camping trips/do couple-y things/have sex with “just a friend.” Eye. fucking. roll.

Anyway. So another anniversary was coming up. I was feeling anxious about it. It was looming over me, as all these benchmarks seem to do for some weird reason. That whole tumblr post about anxiety being like hearing the boss music but you don’t see the boss, that sums it up. Or, like the theme from Jaws, as I said to a friend of mine recently. Foreboding. Ominous. About a week beforehand, the nipple piercings thing popped up in my mind again. I thought it over a day, and then reached out to Red. It felt like it was the right time. We talked a bit. And then I picked out the jewelry I wanted and she said she’d let her boyfriend know and that they’d arrive in the shop in about a week.

I told Red that I was intending to get them done the 16th. Work had been decent that day, but I was physically feeling weird all day, and started second-guessing myself. I had a tearful therapy session that afternoon. And then on the way home, I was like, fuck this, I’m going to fucking do it. I’m re-authoring this story. I’m replacing this day with something positive. This is the day I got my nipples pierced. Not the day the boy somehow broke my heart in a new way, not the day I remember walking away from him in the rain, not the day I expected a no but got somehow an even worse answer. I’m erasing that memory with this one; the pencil marks under it still remind me that I wrote something else first, but what I’m choosing to write instead is there now because I wanted it to be there.

Once I stopped waffling in my head, I messaged my roommate and she was happy to come along for support (who also has her nipples pierced). I went and picked up Red (WHO ALSO HAS HER NIPPLES PIERCED). Red and I have interacted several times in real life, but I finally got to meet her cat and she came over and saw my place. I packed a “don’t faint/seize/etc” bag with some mini Snickers bars and a tiny can of Mountain Dew (along with more sensible items like dark chocolate-covered almonds and crackers) and the three of us went to the shop. I was really nervous. But I was totally, nobody can change my mind or tell me what to fucking do, I-worked-13 hours-over-what-I-was-hired-for-this-pay-period-so-I’m-gonna-spend-it-on-meeee, 100% going to pierce my nipples.

I felt at ease when we got there and I met her boyfriend. He knew ALL about the boy—knew intimately how he had fucked Red over, the lingering damage he’d done, and knew how he had destroyed me in a new way because she’d talked about me. There was an apprentice with him, too. It turned out that everyone BUT me in that damn room (so, 4 out of 5 people) had their nipples pierced. I nervously made some joke about not being part of the cool kids club. But I felt safe.

I imagine that getting your nipples/anything else of the sort is kind of a weird situation to begin with. But I knew Red, my roommate…and knew “of”/but had only just met her boyfriend. I wanted both Red and my roommate there, but it was a little trippy to take off my tank top and unlatch my front-closing bra (which I never wear, but it seemed like a perfect time to actually do so) and show my breasts in front of 4 people who had previously never seen them before while he marked my nipples for placement.

(Also, props to Red: dude is so much cuter than the boy, so sweet, doesn’t drink at all, takes care of himself, and gave off super calming vibes. And has actually good tattoos and a stable job. It made me go. Oh, yeah girl, he’s fucking cute. If you can heal from what he did to you and find love again, maybe I can too.)

Red had previously offered to hold my hand and as we got ready she grabbed my hand (which, now that I’m thinking about it, is probably the only physical contact we’ve ever had) and it was so comforting. Red’s boyfriend was very professional and I trusted him totally, he walked me through how he’s going to do it and when he wants me to breathe and all that. The week prior, Red had told me he’d ask which nipple was more sensitive, which is a question I’d never asked myself before; I went, huh, I…don’t know, and then banjo-strummed both, and found out that my left nipple is indeed more sensitive. (I was so excited to find something new about myself I didn’t know before, haha.) So he pierced that one first.

I felt fine initially, and then started feeling weird. I said, I don’t know if I’m faint-y or not yet, but I let him know I felt kind of weird and he gave me a cool washcloth and told me to just relax and breathe. I said, hold on, let’s see what my pulse is, and my pulse was 53, so I asked for my “don’t faint” bag and chugged my tiny little can of Mountain Dew. We waited several minutes and then I was like, okay, pulse is back to normal, let’s do the other one. And did it!

It didn’t hurt too badly. I loved how they looked. It was a perception-changing act for me. Not only was I saying fuck you to Longtime (who’d poopoo-ed the idea many times in our relationship), but I was replacing “here is another thing the boy said he’d do and didn’t [and probably did with his now wife]” with “I went out and fucking did this myself on a meaningfully significant date that I previously had associated with something painful and I made it part of my healing narrative.” I caused myself actual physical trauma, triggering some feelings and sensations and emotions I had not felt in a while, in a controlled, supportive environment. I got to pick how the hurt happened that day. And the hurt wasn’t the focus of the whole thing; I wanted to do it because I’d been wanting to do it for years. I wanted to do something to make myself feel beautiful. Instead of having a panic attack thinking about the minutiae of that evening the year before, I got to have my new day. I took all the elements—the boy, nipple piercings, Red, Red’s boyfriend being an actual piercer, August 16th, my roommate—and I got to redo it all. Instead of having my nipples pierced by someone who systematically abused me, I had my nipples pierced by the boyfriend of someone who had experienced some of the same things, by the same person, and she’s here holding my hand as I leap into this experience and the boy is not. I wanted to connect these threads in my life in a way that felt empowering and healing and transformative. It was beautiful and sunny that evening. We had the windows down on the way home. A new memory. A rewrite.

I’m so glad I did it. I thought I was CURED of anxiety for about a week afterwards (spoiler alert: I was merely riding on the high of all sorts of adrenaline and pain responses and other hormones, I’m sure, haha). I felt so calm and cool and collected in a way I never had. Relaxed. At peace. And then “I” came back. Anxiety came back. Freaking out about work came back. But since then, I just. I don’t know. It feels different. It was a really healing act for me. I’m so proud of myself.

I’m going to stop here for now. But that’s where I am. My therapist told me she’s moving to California in a month yesterday. A year ago, I would’ve had a crisis. It would’ve been super jarring and I’d be in meltdown mode. I guess, I did do that, since my old therapist basically dumped me right after I found out that the boy had gotten married to the girl he’d cheated on me with ten months prior. tI think I am kind of having a micro-one, but the fact that I finally de-emotionally constipated myself by writing all this out, feels better. I think I’m sad about it. Yet I think this is the push I need to actually start trauma-based work/EMDR. We talked about it in session yesterday and she agreed. She asked if I wanted to continue seeing her or start transitioning now, and I said. It would be good to have a therapeutic situation wherein I actually have termination carried out properly, since I have never done that, and I would like for us to process and discuss our relationship ending so that it can happen in a positive way. Like. Woah, me.

She agreed I’m doing better, too. I have been exercising regularly, for the first time, since, childhood?? And it makes my brain feel better? WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME? (I might be being a little sarcastic regarding that query.) Eating is still not great. I am using my DBT skills naturally, which is cool. It often does still feel like whack-a-mole—once I feel like I have something figured out, another problem pops up. I guess that’s life, though.

Wow. How my mind meandered. I took my medication this afternoon with the intent to look back at my journals, something, I don’t know. (I was prescribed intranasal ketamine in PHP last December for treatment-resistant depression; it’d always been something I wanted to try but was out of my reach until I ended up at that hospital’s program). I grabbed the journal I’d kept during that time (the first ever composition notebook I completely filed every page of), the one I’d started after that, and the 2 wire bound notebooks I kept when I was with the boy, hoping to finally face head-on some of these things I’ve been avoiding re-processing for a while. I think part of it was me wanting to activate myself. In a healthy way, but also maybe not. I feel really good about the thing with my therapist but I know there are elements at work in my brain, things I have no control over, that are probably dealing with abandonment, again. Again again again again. It feels better now, I feel more in-tune with myself, but I know that some of these things I don’t have any control over. So maybe that’s why I wanted to grab all of these notebooks and re-activate myself. I dunno.

I feel good. Things are okay. I still hurt a lot. But it’s okay.

#mine #the boy #longtime #therapist #red #dbt #positivity #trauma #emdr #ketamine #abandonment #eating #august 16th

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