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meimae · 3 years ago

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18/10/21

This has been sitting in my drafts for two weeks, but now its time for a new review! I have finished yet another 乙女ゲーム, あやかしごはん on the 3rd of October. Many thanks to my Discord buddy, Alex, who helped me set this up.

Not gonna lie, this was something I picked at random; I thought it looked comfy, and I wanted something simple that I could read more of in less time while I was busy with life.

This gave me major 夏目友人帳 vibes - that really warm, 懐かしい feeling, that you almost feel like you exist alongside these characters and sharing the same meals with them.

There's something about how Japan portrays their mythical creatures and folklore that's really fascinating to me - some of them are good and kind, some mischievious, and some are cruel and evil. Maybe its because I feel like the references to the folklore and mythical creatures in my country are mostly evil and quite scary, that even though they're equally as interesting especially by how they are physically portrayed, I'd rather not dwell too much on them.

To put it simply, I quite enjoyed reading this VN despite it being mostly Slice of Life, which was something I complained about while reading Angel Beats. I think not having useless choice lists thrown at me every five minutes like every Key VN seems to do helps あやかしごはん's case a lot better. It's a lot more reading and a lot less looking at the guide for choices that are seemingly pointless.

It was comfy, funny at times, and ultimately had heartwarming endings. A bit predictable, too, if I'm going to be honest, but since it was easy to read and didn't drag on for too long, I didn't mind much.

I also have been slowly going through the fandisk, おかわり, so do expect to see another review similar to this soon!

GRAPHS AND STATS

I will forever regret leaving the bonus content for the next day. It was so short and ruined my graph. OTL

When I say it was an easy read I meant it. I played this game for 29.7 hours in 11 days, the shortest time I've played all endings for a VN for. In comparison, I spent more time with ATRI My Dear Moments which was shorter in length and linear compared to this VN which had multiple routes and bonus content. I averaged 20,039 characters/hour, a first for me, and something I really enjoyed being able to do while it lasted - I imagine if I switch to harder content again, especially novels that are 縦書き, it will turn down my speed a few notches.

I often say that even complete beginners can start reading early. This is one of those VNs that would be perfect for someone in the N5-N4 range who want to start reading ASAP, and for intermediate learners, this is good reading practice for hammering down on common vocabulary and grammar.

CGs and Discussion About All Routes, Endings, and Character Rankings

This had six main routes in the game and I played it in this order 謡 - 萩之介 - 花 - 詠 - 真夏 - 浅葱 while following this guide for the choices. To be honest, its not difficult to guess which choice would lead to which route, but I don't like taking the roundabout way of playing VNs while my goal is to read.

Protagonist - 朱音凜

How many 凛 named protagonists have I encountered thus far, you ask? One too many and the best one still remains in an Island.

This story divides the protagonist's character in to two, the extrovert and the introvert, and you can only read through certain routes when you take a certain path. Her personality is based on how you played the initial childhood arc, the choices of which are very easy to guess.

Introvert 朱音

Initially, I thought this version of the protagonist was a brat in the childhood arc, she didn't even have or know very simple manners. Seemed like a bad portrayal of and a disservice to introverts everywhere - being shy does not equate to being rude. Poor 吟 had to deal with this, dare I say monster of a child, when he only wanted her to like him and be his friend.

The grown up version though was far more likable and had a decent character development in her common route. She starts opening up more and is kinder and thoughtful in her interactions. It was really sweet to watch her grow to love あやかし despite her initial fear of them.

Extrovert 朱音

Bubbly and carefree, the exact opposite of the introvert protagonist. Honestly, there was barely any room for character development for her, since she already had a positive outlook in life and was more accepting of the bad things that has happened to her.

If anything, this personality was used to advance the main plot the most since it was kind of implied in the True End that it was never either or versions, but both versions of 朱音 that makes her who she is, her extroverted personality just at the forefront to help her look at the situation more positively.

Except for 浅葱 route which holds the true end, all routes have three endings: the best, good, and 悲恋 ends, which I will be touching upon for each character. Honestly, they could have just combined the best and good ends into one, because it felt like nothing much really differs. They still end up with each other, so there's really no point to it being separate.

From here on out, the list below doubles as a ranking from worst to best, mostly based on character preference and how their individual background stories were told. I will also be re-ranking them afterwards based on how important their role was to the plot a.k.a. the logical ranking, putting all the love and fluff aside for the greater good.

花蘇芳

Not gonna lie, wasn't really expecting much from this route. 花, who may have had a sad backstory, is ultimately a lazy housecat with a bit of separation anxiety.

The only reason this route is a bit worth reading is for the crazy 猫又, 景墨, who was merciless to both 花 and 朱音 in the bad end.

To be completely honest, I'd rather have another human route with the spriteless, bookworm 時雨先輩. I thought he had more chemistry with introverted 朱音, and gave her more opportunities to think about her interests and her future goals. 花, on the other hand, and probably because he's a lazy housecat and あやかし without responsibilities, shuts down all attempts to study and even tries to influence 朱音 to do the same.

Best

Cute and peak lazy housecat vibes. This is her life now; sleep for more than half the day.

Good

Shameless PDA. Again, this is her life now. Introverts are not meant for this life. Send help.

悲恋

This was probably the best worst end, the 猫又 being properly chaotic evil, with a stellar character design mind you. Merciless and terrifying, he hunts down both of them for the shits and giggles. Very freaky.

犬嶌謡

The twin who was the comic relief and the one who didn't get the bulk of the backstory, but did get a really cool 狛犬 CG, Mr. Eat-It-All, 謡. I love meme-y names like this. He never actually sings in the main game, unlike his bro who reads (he does not compose poetry though), but he does so in the fandisk (albeit without actually singing which is a real shame, stop with the clickbait).

Best

Your standard, they end up going out with each other, and its a whole deal because they're both shy cuties. Don't know why he had to ask for permission from best T-shirt, Onaka Suita boy, 神様, when his bro didn't do the same iirc, but very traditional, I respect that.

Good

They kinda kiss....off screen iirc? Why did they have to split this from best end again?

悲恋

He dies trying to save MC, 詠's hatred for humans deepens. This was the first route and ending I played, so every route going towards the 悲恋 end became very predictable after this one.

芹ケ野真夏

Oh boy, this was honestly the questionable route, until the backstory gets introduced and its like hmmm.....this might be okay? Maybe?

I'm so sorry 真夏 stans, but I had just finished 剣が君 which was amazing, so couldn't help but think that this was the budget version the entire time. Still, the whole star-crossed lovers in the 江戸時代 plot line actually saved this from completely being another creepy おじさん grooming a teen, because a lot of it felt so spicy, again, only made acceptable because they had the whole backstory to anchor this relationship somewhere to I guess make you think that its fine, because hey, they were an item in the edo period, it's fine! The whole consent on both sides, which they mention several times, and also 吟's permission, makes this whole route less icky somewhat.

Anyway, this is were the plot starts to thicken too, with 真夏 being this weird magical being that's able to curse things and himself I guess, literally the source of the replacement eyes for the 狛犬 brothers, and then giving them to and being old friends with 吟. His very existence makes him a catalyst and absolutely vital to the events in the future, which is why the logical ranking exists in my review that I'll get into later.

Best

They defeat the curse together and ends up with each other in a wholesome, consentful way. Honestly, the really spicy bit occurs in the おまけシナリオ, where he's in her room and holding himself back from doing more. Do I like that or do I not, my morals are still deciding.（>////<）

Good

He proposes to MC. Oho, you just know that he's been dying to pounce on her, but the willing to wait a bit more until she's ready is pretty sweet actually...Is this really fine?

悲恋

Taking the star-crossed lovers plot and Romeo and Juliet style running with it. Pretty standard ending. Poor 真夏 never caught a break.

木邑浅葱

You know, being the dedicated true end, I thought I'd rank him much higher than this, but aside from being a very mysterious cutiepie, and his whole role of being the あやかし guardian holding down the fort in the simulated world where everyone is not dead, he's actually a pretty middle ground character.

Of course, him continuing to exist in both the おまけシナリオ and the fandisk changes things a lot (hopefully), but for just the events in the main game and compared to the rest, here is where he sits.

True End

Who wouldn't want this ending? Everybody survives, the twins get their eyes back, precious child 綴 is alive and well and can grow up to be like his dad. I was losing my mind because I played the Bad End first (which in hindsight was an excellent decision, wouldn't have been as jarring otherwise), so this end calmed me down a lot.

We still technically "lose" 浅葱, but then he reappears as a student in the おまけ or as symbolic cherry blossoms in the other routes, so its fine in the end.

Bad End

The worst end ever, this should be illegal. It made me so stressed to think about everybody dead, and everything being a simulated environment to essentially accomodate MC's arrival. It's actually so cruel, is this still SoL?

Literally nobody survives, even the 12 that were holding the fort. If I were MC who ends up surviving this and remembering it all too, this ending would have given me so much trauma I wouldn't have been able to function for the rest of my life.

Honestly, this whole end made this VN jump up to an 8 in my rating. I could've honestly rated it a 6 or 7 because it was a seemingly simple SoL, but this was a bit of a game changer and it stressed me out so much.

Common Route Bad End

The confusing end, because I did this first and it was so out of context it hardly made sense. Added a lot to the mystery of it all though which made this feel less of a pure SoL VN, and it gave me a pretty good taste of what was to come.

犬嶌詠

The twin who got the cool backstory, which made him more interesting than the other. Pretty sad origin story for both brothers though, and I was pretty pleased that MC was able to fill the gap left over by some cruel kids playing around.

Loved that he was the shy type that was ready to defend MC til the end, the antagonist in this route being pretty creepy and annoying. What can I say? I really enjoy the 真面目 types especially when they get jealous.

Best

Weird that the best end here was very similar to 花's route, where they take naps and end up together. Still pretty comfy though, and you love to see 詠 smile.

Good

Again, could have mixed this with the best end because it's practically the same.

悲恋

A proper Romeo and Juliet ending, especially because I played this before 真夏 route and didn't know what I was in for. So lovely though that out of all the routes, 詠 was the one fighting for MC the hardest. Again, a big fan of 真面目 characters.

伊吹萩之介

Feels kind of a basic and vanilla choice for others maybe, but 萩之介 made my heart flutter the most. I really enjoyed the balance between introverted MC and extroverted 萩之介; the shyness and the teasing, the bicycle learning arc, and the dealing with the issue at hand was precious. I also felt like he was also the only character in the common route that had chemistry with MC, so I was drawn to his character a lot.

He felt both mature and playful and the least problematic character too, because well, he's human and gets to live with MC within a normal lifespan, so there's no living without you drama. His backstory is also pretty sweet, having an あやかし mom and a human dad, a missing sister, and having no ability to see and distinguish あやかし from humans, and his excitement and desperation to interact with them. He just feels really well rounded to me and I'm going to stop fangirling now. Also, these CGs feel so warm man. (´；ω；｀)

Best

This felt like the true 青春 ending; ending up with each other, looking forward to the years to come. Just perfectly nice and peaceful.

Good

Lots of teasing and implying marriage in the future. Stooooop. (///∀///)

Special Mention

悲恋

Pretty sad ending, since he doesn't wake up, and so 吟 has to use his powers to help MC with the pain, which now that I think about it, since literally everything aside from the true end and the おまけ are them alive and well, does it mean 吟 put her in a perpetual state of sleep as well? Creepy.

狐森吟 & 狐森綴

吟 route when? (･ัω･ั)

No, but seriously, if they didn't make a bonus story about 吟 I would have been a bit salty, because he is arguably the sweetest character in game. Tragic backstory, having to live for so long and losing every person he ever loved along the way, but still remaining lovely and thoughtful. Ugh, what a gem.

Logical Ranking

朱音 foolishly describes him at some point saying, 「お母さんみたい」. A true disservice to 吟 and great dads everywhere. Don't know where she got that from either, as she didn't particularly appreciate being left alone a lot by her mom, with acceptable reasons for sure, but still left alone to fend for herself.

Also, 綴 is here because he's a cutie and his nonexistence made me so sad in the 浅葱 bad end.

I personally feel like this needs to be a thing simply because of the events that unfold in 浅葱 route where it is revealed that everything is essentially a simulation of everyone being alive. Every route was just MCs desire to discover everyone's personality, and until the time where 浅葱 could not hold the fort any longer, literally every scenario will come crashing down, leaving her alone with real but simulated memories with technically dead people and あやかし. It's actually pretty screwed up.

The logical ranking is just a ranking of the characters' importance and contribution to making the True End happen, because regardless of preference, its the only ending where everyone is actually alive and well, and where she can actually pursue anyone in a non-simulated reality.

So my version of the logical ranking goes:

真夏 > 詠 = 謡 > 浅葱 = 吟 > 萩之介 > 花

Hate to say it, but 真夏 is essentially the only person who was able to, even unknowingly, create the keys/eyes that enabled the 狛犬 twins to do their job as protectors and save the whole town. Once again, 浅葱 being the middle ground and guardian holding the fort and 吟 being essential to coming up with the simulation and actually also I guess unknowingly handing over the future eyes to kid MC for safekeeping. 萩之介, is well, a human who is really just someone random who got affected by the terrible disaster in the town. The guy can't even see あやかし, so he is unimportant unfortnately. However, this also proves that 花 is unfortunately practically just as useless, because even though he is あやかし, he didn't really help hold down the fort like 浅葱 or 吟 or any of the other あやかし, and is just as unaware as 萩之介 is. And between the two of them, if say they were both aware of the situation, he's more likely to have slept through the disaster than 萩之介. Sorry cat fans.

Rant 終了.

-☆-

This was supposed to be posted two weeks ago as I mentioned, but I got knocked out by a regular old flu for those two weeks, and was unable to both finish writing or immerse properly.

My immersion feels like a disaster this month because of thay, and I've just started to play catch up again. I'm worried that I'll break my reading streak, but honestly, the immersion break might have unknowingly done me some good with preventing myself from burning out, so I'm trying not to stress too much about it.

Anyway, thanks for reading and updates in the future as always!

#language acquisition #language learning #langblr #study blog #studyblr #japanese language #japanese #language immersion #japanese langblr #japanese studyblr #visual novel #visual novels #otome game #あやかしごはん #ayakashi gohan #vn review

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 4 years ago

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I hear you're really helpful with typing. I typed myself as an ENTP back in middle school but now as a Real Adult I'm not sure the skin still fits (I read descriptions of ENTPs and think, mm, sound like really immature assholes! ... Although I'm aware online profiles do have a tendency to suck). 2. I'm probably extroverted. I like to think out loud, I like to meet new people, if I give a good public speech I can live off the high for a few hours. (1/9)

(2/9) most of my introverted traits boil down to more sensory type things. I can't stand noisy places, parties or crowds make me feel trapped. Also, my very introverted family all firmly insist I'm obviously an extrovert, so 🤷‍♂️. Reading intuitive descriptions always feels like reading weird mumbo jumbo, but sensing descriptions like reading a list of things I'm bad at. I'm awful at awareness of my surroundings

(3/9) I find driving stressful because there's so many streams of external input I need to be on top of and if I dare space out on an interesting thought I could literally kill someone. I was never in roux with my body (wished I could be a robot tbh) although after my first kid I did sign up for a dance class and it was so cool finally have my body be something other than an annoying meat sack with incomprehensible constant needs i need to constantly deal with.

(4/9) (incomprehensible = do I feel bad bc tired? Hungry? Thirsty? Guessing game time!). For me aesthetic sense basically I can turn on or off, default is off and I don't notice at all, but I can consciously turn it on so as to have a preference (what to eat for dinner) or taste (researching art styles to inspire my own). But yeah I can and have lived in a featureless white cave of a house and just don't notice/care. Thinking/feeling is complicated for me (ur not my therapist, I know).

(5/9) my family was SUPER t and looked down on emotions and stuff so, like, how much of my discomfort with emotion based values/decisions/behavior is me vs that, I don't know. I do know I read some T stereotypes and feel they're stupid. I may be shit at it, BUT being able to work with people and coordinate is how anything happens in the real world, and looking down on people skills is just a sign you're not very smart, imo. OTOH I do just genuinely love logical thinking. So sexy and satisfying.

(6/9) I work as a programmer. I love the rapid feedback cycle, I love constantly learning new things, but I think the most satisfying part is making a program "elegant". Taking a revolting mess of a four page function, compressing it into a beautiful little recursive six liner. (I also like hunting for bugs, most of the time very satisfying, and I love watching something cool emerge from what was literally nothing before). I like categorising and sorting and labeling things (see: mbti) in ways

(7/9) that reveal this underlying system that I can then apply/extend to other things. I like the satisfaction of a good explanatory theory. My husband is into solving problems with things (engineer). I'm also an engineer, but the problems that draw me are people related. Like I said, really it's all coordination problems, cooperation problems, how we can make the human system work towards a good outcome instead of getting trapped in a shitty equilibrium point.(I've worked on my people skills sm

(8/9) re p/j I have no idea. Everything stereotypically J just sounds like things I needed to learn to do as an adult? Make and follow plans and stuff. As I've gotten older, P stereotypical behavior went from being comfortable to being anxiety inducing. So gonna skip that and hope the function stack casts light on it instead.

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Hi anon,

Before reading I will freely admit my first thought was probably high Ne; it is usually high Ne users who see a max character count/question limit as an invitation to reach that limit, whereas everyone else sees it as simply a thing they cannot exceed, but can fall short of.

Going through, from the start, it sounds like, barring any kind of unmentioned or undiagnosed sensory processing issues, an extrovert who is an intuitive makes sense in that you’d be excited by people but not by a lot of sensory experiences at once. This also fits with what you describe later - finding driving stressful because you can’t focus on both thoughts and the road, difficulty interpreting internal physical signs.

I definitely agree with you re: people skills (ie, hating people isn’t a sign of high intellect, but a bad grip on reality and also just probably being an unpleasant person).

I suspect you are more likely to be a high Ti user and therefore an ENTP - programmers/engineers aren’t automatically high Ti users, but I do think elegance tends to be something high Ti users strive for the most, whereas my own programming tends to be “does it work” (although also I’ve never been a programmer as a main job so the expectations and requirements for what I do are a much lower bar). Hunting for bugs and actually enjoying it rather than just wanting the code to work also sounds a lot more Ti-Fe than Te-Fi; an enjoyment more of the process than the end result.

Since you’re an adult and your Fe is tertiary (so actually getting to be pretty decent) and as you said developing people skills is just a reasonable part of life, I think developing an enjoyment of problems that involve people is probably part of that. I think the point you’re at in life and what you said about perceiving vs. judging fits well with a perceiver who is of normal adult levels of maturity. If you were a judger (and even setting aside my initial leaning towards Ne, you don’t write like high Ni user as they tend to use shorter sentences and have a very linear style vs. the more casual/digressive Ne/Si style), you would probably be experiencing the opposite experience, of slowly coming to terms with the sponteneity and need for flexibility of adult life vs. coming to terms with things like deadlines and planning which would have been more initially natural to you.

So: ENTP actually does sound like a good fit! I agree a lot of ENTP descriptions out there are written by people who seem to think interrupting with the phrase “well, actually” is a virtue instead of really annoying, so...yeah, I think it’s reasonable not to relate them and a reasonably mature adult ENTP definitely wouldn’t.

#mbti #entp #Anonymous

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methargicismm · 7 years ago

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Beginners guide for wlw mangas/manhwas

1. Tamen De Gushi (Ongoing)

Okay. Listen. This manhwa is for yall out there who just want a chill, innocent, non complicated, 50/50 fluff-to-humor ratio story. Blonde and Brunette. And listen, listen, listen... This is DIABETES worth sugar. The art style is really good too. It’s simple but somewhat sophisticated. So far it has 139 short chapters (about 12 pages per chapter). There’s a linear story to it, but it sometimes drifts to a completely different timeline. It updates about once a month, or sometimes once every two months. 11/12

2. Fluttering/Exciting Feelings (Ongoing/Currently in Hiatus due to Author’s health)

Before I even start with this, I got major Korrasami vibes out of it ho ly shit. Anyway, this manhwa is currently at chapter 68, and sad to say that the author may never continue the story again due to cancer and several other reasons. But I am still adding this manhwa to the list because it’s sooo good. It’s not as fluffy and humorous as Tamen De Gushi because later in the story, No-rae (brown hair) brings in some drama while Seol-a has drama of her own kind. The art is simple but it’s great enough to look amazing. Still though, the manhwa is great, but sadly... it might be discontinued :(. 10/12

3. Citrus [Saburouta] (Ongoing)

I like this manga. I like it a lot. The art is good anatomy wise, but sometimes it gets too.... much..... Here’s a note, though: These two are step sisters. Yes. You heard me right. There are a lot of love triangles, a lot of drama, a lot of “Im-gonna-kiss-her-wait-no-nvm” moments, but there are a lot of WELL-DRAWN kiss scenes and semi-sexual things. There is almost no story line? Well, there is, but it’s your typical high school plot. It barely updates, and it currently has 30 chapters. Probably updates once every two months. 8.5/12

4. Yagate Kimi Ni Naru (Ongoing)

Yo, listen. This one is ....... VERY complicated. If you are planning on reading this story, I need you to know that this is as basic as I can put it: Nanami hates herself and doesn’t want her partner Yuu to fall in love with her, while Yuu is someone who can’t fall in love with someone. The art is simple but good god it’s really good *o*. It has fluff, but for every fluff there will always be some sort of angst right after or before it. There is certainly a plot line on this but it doesn’t focus too much on the plot. Characters are great and they have a personality of their own. Despite the “Im not in love” thing that is going on in this manga, there are many, many, cute parts. It updates about once every month or every two months. 10.5/12

5. The Love Doctor (Ongoing)

(PS: this image is misleading btw but it was too fucking cute) I. freaking. love. this. manhwa. so. much. Now, this has many, many fluff moments but it also has its bulk of angst and drama. Love(ish) triangles, dark past from both parties, and there IS an age gap between the two but I forgot how many years. Still though!!! It is worth a read! The art style is cute and light and adorable, but sometimes the emotions can start looking the same in each panel (especially for one of the characters). Updates, I believe, every month. 11/12

6. Pulse [Ratana Satis] (Ongoing)

Look at this art. Look at it. Isn’t it cute? Well, if you’re here for cute shit turn the fuck away cus this IS indeed cute, buuuuuut it also has sex scenes. There is also fluff and drama, and as you can see, one of them is a doctor. The art style is pretty well done and really sophisticated. I can’t remember if there’s an age gap? I’m pretty sure there is? Anyway!!! There’s a story, yes, and also a shitty ex that no one should like but everyone feels sorry for (for good reasons of course). 12/12

7. Magan & Danai / Magan he Danai (Ongoing)

This one reminds me of Tamen De Gushi a lot, BUT.... This one is directed to the life of two women who love each other and what happens in their daily life. The art is much more detailed that TDG, and the characters have very different personalities. Danai, the shorter one, is the more mature one but also the more feminine one while Magan, the taller one, is definitely a fucking cry baby. To be honest, idk how frequently it updates? But!!! Still!! Go watch!!! 11/12

8. What Does the Fox Say? (Ongoing, 2 chapters left)

Ho ly shit whe re to be gin...? Definitely not light. It is not full of fun or fluffy or innocent. This manhwa is dark, sexy, angsty, drama-filled, teeth gritting, and very complicated. VERY, VERY, VERY, Adult. A story with a beautiful young blonde who loves a much older boss, and the much older boss has a shitty ex that everyone loves who fucked up a lot but she has her reasons. This is one of those manhwas that you need to ANALYZE every. single. fucking. scene. It is one of those where each scene MEANS something and you have to keep a sharp eye even at the sex scenes. The art style is good. Not amazing, but decent enough. As I said, it ends in two chapters. It updates twice a month (from my observations). 12/12

*Note: These are all based on my observations

#tamen de gushi #fluttering feelings #exciting feelings #what does the fox say #wdtfs #team blonde #team pink #magan and danai #magan he danai #pulse #the love doctor #yagate kimi ni naru #yuri manga #yuri #manga #manhwa #yikesss

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madamekyberpunk · 4 years ago

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Film Diary (July 12, 2020 - Dec 28, 2020)

JULY

July 12, 2020: KNIVES OUT (Dir. Rian Johnson)

We get to see Rian Johnson finely tune his craft in real time, and I find it exciting. I’ve been on a binge of his work as-of-late and a recurring theme of most of his movies is them being a commentary on themselves or the genres they’re working within. I think this movie nails that trick on the head without patting itself on the back too much. The ensemble cast is expertly chosen and works together really well, and you can tell just by watching it that they were having fun on set. The cast is grounded by Ana de Armas’ quietly brilliant performance. My favorite Rian Johnson movie is still reserved for Star Wars: The Last Jedi, but I do think this is his best work so far.

July 13, 2020: MERMAIDS (Dir. Richard Benjamin)

A slightly more absurd version of Lady Bird, if Lady Bird was made in the nineties. A good addition to the strained-but-loving mother-daughter relationship cinematic universe.

July 15, 2020: THE UNTOUCHABLES (Dir. Brian De Palma)

This is actually the first mafia movie I’ve ever seen, and honestly...it was probably a bad one to start with. Although it was entertaining and tense at all the right moments, the whole thing just felt empty. Every character seemed half-baked and none of them really had any development. De Palma could’ve gone grittier for an R-rating and made his interpretation of Al Capone a little less cartoonish; Kevin Costner’s Eliot Ness was doing the absolute least, and Robert De Niro’s Al Capone was doing the absolute most.

July 31, 2020: (500) DAYS OF SUMMER (Dir. Marc Webb)

For some reason I have unintentionally seen almost all of Marc Webb’s filmography, and I have to say that I’m underwhelmed by all of it. While watching I found myself reflexively comparing this to Webb’s The Amazing Spiderman and maybe it ruined my viewing experience a little bit. Both of them have lots of super mumbly, drawn-out conversations and an interpretation of an “indie” style that just seems...bland to me. (Also, both of them have pale women with bangs and men with undiagnosed depression.) I don’t know, I just feel like if you want a rom-com with a realistic depiction of romantic relationships, you should just go watch The Big Sick.

AUGUST

August 14, 2020: LATE NIGHT (Dir. Nisha Ganatra)

Emma Thompson was great in this, and I think Mindy Kaling is very underrated as a writer (in some ways, I think she is the modern Nora Ephron). I’ve seen quite a few reviews claiming that this movie plays along with conventions, but I don’t necessarily think that conventions are inherently bad as long as they’re executed well. In this case, they were.

August 22, 2020: THE FAREWELL (Dir. Lulu Wang)

I’d classify this as a really good movie that just didn’t click with me. It was a complete, “it’s not them, it’s me,” situation. It was smartly directed with a focused, sharp script and an excellent leading performance from Awkwafina - I can see why people were upset that it got snubbed at the Oscars - but it just wasn’t my thing. The only time I really connected with it emotionally was the ending.

August 22, 2020: KNOCK DOWN THE HOUSE (Dir. Rachel Lears)

The only piece of media currently in existence that somehow makes me feel a sense of patriotism for this hellscape of a country.

SEPTEMBER

September 5, 2020: BARRY (Dir. Vikram Gandhi)

Speaking of living in a hellscape of a country, I have mixed feelings about the Obama presidency - but this movie isn’t about his presidency. It isn’t indicative that he’ll be president at any point. It’s essentially a piece of historical fiction about race and American identity that happens to use Barack Obama as its protagonist. You could replace him with any other dude with a background similar to his and it still would’ve been interesting.

September 8, 2020: UNICORN STORE (Dir. Brie Larson)

If there’s one word to describe this movie, I’d say, it’s cute. Not in a patronizing type of way, but in a this-movie-feels-like-a-warm-hug type of way. I like this Brie Larson vehicle much more than Captain Marvel, mainly because I feel like she’s having more fun in this and she gets to wear more colors and Samuel L. Jackson has tinsel in his hair and also there’s a unicorn in it. I’m a simple girl with simple needs. I also think Samuel L. Jackson should be adorned in tinsel in every film he’s in without explanation (I might actually watch Pulp Fiction if Jackson’s character had a sparkly afro in it). This movie also made me stan Mamoudou Athie - I think he plays a good straight man and I hope that they don’t waste him in Jurassic World: Dominion, although I’m not getting my hopes up.

September 11, 2020: LADY BIRD (Dir. Greta Gerwig)

I waited a criminally long amount of time to finally watch this. I can’t really say anything about this movie that hasn’t already been said. It’s good! It’s genuine and sweet and I liked seeing Timothée Chalamet play a pretentious asshole.

September 12, 2020: THE BROTHERS BLOOM (Dir. Rian Johnson)

Upon a rewatch, I’m taking my original score of 3.5 out of 5 and bumping it up to a 4 out of 5. Adrian Brody and Rachel Weisz’s performances pretty much make this movie with their earnestness and chemistry. I think you could qualify this film as a romantic dramedy that just happens to be about an international con job. It doesn’t do the greatest job of explaining itself plot-wise, but it makes up for it with stylish direction and a charming cast.

September 18, 2020: EVER AFTER (Dir. Andy Tennant)

The best Cinderella adaptation currently in existence (next to Nickelodeon’s Rags starring Keke Palmer, of course). It’s so good that I’m willing to forgive Drew Barrymore’s attempt at a British accent. I also think this is one of the few movies that could be a decent remake if you gave it to the right director.

September 19, 2020: BRICK (Dir. Rian Johnson)

I love Rian Johnson, I think we’ve established that already, but I kind of sort of hated his film debut. It seemed so caught up in its own concept that it ended up seeming like a shell of a movie with no theme to ground it. Sometimes I don’t care if movie has no theme if it’s entertaining, but this movie was not entertaining, so...

September 25, 2020: ABOUT LAST NIGHT... (Dir. Edward Zwick)

Alternate title: Toxic Man is Horrible to a Woman Who Literally Does Nothing Wrong Ever and Also is Gorgeous, They Break Up, Toxic Man Gets a Different Job and Toxicity is Gone Now, Like His Personality was Sifted Through a Brita Water Filter, then the Toxic Man Gets an Unearned Happy Ending with Gorgeous Woman. It might be a little bit long, but at least people would know what they were in for. Still better than (500) Days of Summer, although every male character in About Last Night... deserves to be in jail. All of Demi Moore’s sweaters get five stars.

OCTOBER

October 3, 2020: ENOLA HOLMES (Dir. Harry Bradbeer)

During the first draft of this post, I gave this movie a pretty good review. Then I rewatched it, and...huh. It’s not exactly a bad movie, it’s just an aggressively average movie. Enola Holmes would have benefited from a) a shorter runtime, b) a better mystery, and c) a weirder style. I think that if the character is going to repeatedly talk into the camera, which is kinda weird, you should just make everything else weird too. Give it a Birds of Prey-esque unreliable narrator and non-linear storyline. It’s still a fun movie, and the inevitable sequels have potential, but it just felt like they could’ve - I don’t know - made more of an effort?

October 10, 2020: HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE (Dir. Taika Waititi)

This is the first Taika Waititi movie I’ve seen besides Thor: Ragnarok. I liked seeing how his style transferred into Ragnarok, and it probably has the funniest funeral scene ever written (do yourself a favor and look it up on YouTube). Hunt for the Wilderpeople knows when to make a joke without getting too goofy, and it knows when to be sentimental without getting too sappy. It also has dozens of glorious one-liners.

October 11, 2020: LITTLE WOMEN (Dir. Greta Gerwig)

The best Little Women adaptation. (I haven’t seen the one with Katharine Hepburn but I’m just going to assume that this one’s better.) This movie was clearly made for people who know and love the story, which can be a good thing and a bad thing - it means that it took some creative liberties that enhanced the story and added subversions that made it feel meta in a satisfying way. But it also meant that it could be potentially confusing for people who aren’t familiar with the story. Personally I wasn’t lost, but I think Gerwig could’ve used some more visual cues to let you know when they were in the present or when they were diving into the past. I wouldn’t want her to eliminate the jumping back and forth, though, because I think it allowed the characters to be explored a lot more than a linear story would’ve allowed. Gerwig also did a great job of letting you understand the motivations of the supporting characters - specifically Amy - in a way that prior adaptations never really did. Every character felt like their own person instead of accessories to Jo’s life.

October 16, 2020: THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7 (Dir. Aaron Sorkin)

Siegel, a very good Letterboxd reviewer that I follow, said it better than I can: “Aaron Sorkin is way too good a writer to be forced to work with such a mediocre director as Aaron Sorkin”. I didn’t mind the beginning - I thought the quick editing, upbeat music, and cuts back and forth between historical footage and fictionalized scenes were engaging, but the ending was clunky and didn’t fit the tone of the rest of the film. The Trial of the Chicago 7 was a little confused politically and wanted to desperately cling onto a centrism that didn’t let the film fully embrace the anger that it could’ve ended on. Despite all of these things, I still thoroughly enjoyed it. The performances were all excellent, and if any of them get nominated for an Oscar it’s well-deserved. I’m also a sucker for Aaron Sorkin’s speechy, tangential dialogue. It makes me feel smart whenever I listen to it.

October 20, 2020: HALLOWEENTOWN (Dir. Duwayne Dunham)

This movie does it for the girls and the gays, that’s it.

October 26, 2020: BIRDS OF PREY (AND THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN) (Dir. Cathy Yan)

This movie also does it for the girls and the gays, that’s it. Seriously, I honestly don’t know why people don’t love this movie. Margot Robbie’s performance as Harley Quinn is Oscar-worthy. That’s not a joke. I actually think that if the Oscars knew how to have fun, she would get a nomination. She is this character. It feels so lived-in and she never does too much - and with a role like Harley Quinn, it would be very easy to do too much. I also have to give props to the type of feminism that director Cathy Yan inserted into this film. I really enjoyed Wonder Woman and didn’t mind Captain Marvel, but there was something so formulaic and studio-approved about the female empowerment in both of those films. Birds of Prey, however, didn’t really give a single fuck. It was a nuanced, violent, funny as hell story about flawed women forming alliances and finding meaningful relationships in a world that actively abuses them and ugh, I love this movie. It’s probably my personal favorite of the year.

October 27, 2020: DOLLY PARTON: HERE I AM (Dir. Francis Whately)

This documentary was strangely edited and offered pretty surface-level information presented in an uninteresting way. I enjoyed myself while I was watching it, but I just wish it would’ve gone deeper. Dolly Parton is one of the most interesting figures in music history, and there was a lot more they could’ve explored.

NOVEMBER

November 1, 2020: ATTACK THE BLOCK (Dir. Joe Cornish)

This 82-minute movie gave John Boyega a more satisfactory arc than the almost seven hour long Star Wars sequel trilogy. Seriously, this movie fucking slaps! It hit all the right notes at all the right moments. I honestly think that a lot of sci-fi movies would be better if they worked with smaller budgets and shorter runtimes. Something about working within limitations makes a film feel more authentic and cuts out a lot of the excess fat. This movie is funny and earnest and surprisingly has a lot to say about the world we live in, with a budget that’s 200 million dollars less and a runtime that's 45 minutes less than a lot of sci-fi movies out there.

November 18, 2020: A PRINCESS FOR CHRISTMAS (Dir. Michael Damian)

*Lady Gaga voice* Amazing, show-stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely-not-ever-been-done-before... My go-to shitty Hallmark Christmas movie every year :)

November 19, 2020: THE LEGO STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL (Dir. Ken Cunningham)

I’m giving this a five-star rating completely unironically. This movie uses the mechanism of time travel better than Avengers: Endgame.

November 20, 2020: THE CHRISTMAS CHRONICLES (Dir. Clay Kaytis)

There’s a scene where Kurt Russel does a musical number in a jail cell and then Winston from “New Girl” quits his job as a cop. What more could you want from a Christmas movie?

November 21, 2020: INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS (Dir. Joel & Ethan Coen)

What was originally intended to be an Oscar Isaac thirst watch turned into what might end up being one of my favorite movies of all time. It’s one of those movies where it’s hard to articulate why it was so good, it was just good, but for the sake of this post I’ll try my best. Oscar Isaac was phenomenal in this - and I’m not just saying that because I’m a simp. His performance, combined with the script, made you root for his character even if he was a douchebag a lot of the time. The movie did a great job of blurring the line between what Llewyn Davis brought on himself and what was the result of just really, really bad luck. The use of sound in Llewyn Davis is excellent, too. Instead of using an instrumental score to emphasize emotion, they used sounds from the character’s environment, which really let the occasional musical moments pop - whenever anyone started singing, it almost felt cathartic. The Coen Brothers also provided moments of levity with perfectly-timed comedic moments throughout. It’s one of those movies where at the end of it, you’re kind of jealous that someone could make something that good. The fact that Oscar Isaac didn’t even get an Oscar nomination for this is - not to be dramatic - a fucking war crime.

November 22, 2020: STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI (Dir. Rian Johnson)

Listen, I know The Last Jedi is such a hotly debated movie that it’s almost political, but it happens to be my favorite movie of all time. Like, number one. It even beats A Princess for Christmas. I’ve had my fair share of slander for loving this movie so damn much, but I will defend it until the day I die, and then I will have my tombstone engraved with “Luke Skywalker’s portrayal in this movie makes sense, you guys are just poisoned by nostalgia.” I’ve seen this movie several times, but I actually haven’t given it a rewatch since The Rise of Skywalker came out last December, and it still holds up. There’s a couple of things that I really appreciated a bit more this time around: every shot in this movie seems so intentional and emotionally charged. Pause it at any point and you’re going to have something interesting and aesthetically pleasing to look at. I really enjoyed the dialogue, too. In most of his movies, Rian Johnson makes his characters talk in a slightly heightened (or in Brick's case, very heightened) way, and it lends well to the Star Wars universe. I'm never going to to not gush about this film. The Last Jedi is the movie that made me love movies, and for that I will always be grateful.

November 25, 2020: HAPPIEST SEASON (Dir. Clea DuVall)

I have similar feelings toward this movie as I did toward Crazy Rich Asians; it follows most of the conventions that populate the rom-com genre, but for the marginalized people the movie is representing, it’s actually pretty fresh. Hot take, but I don’t think that Kristen Stewart’s character should’ve ended up with Aubrey Plaza’s character - I just think the film could’ve done a better job of empathizing with Mackenzie Davis’s character. If we focused on her perspective a bit more, maybe she would’ve seemed less...shitty and distant. I’d also appreciate it if we just stop doing the Gay Best Friend Trope after this movie because - let’s be honest with ourselves - no one’s going to be able to top Daniel Levy’s rendition of it.

November 29, 2020: MANGROVE (Dir. Steve McQueen)

See my Mangrove review here.

DECEMBER

December 5, 2020: RED, WHITE AND BLUE (Dir. Steve McQueen)

I may need to give this a rewatch at some point, mainly because it seems like I didn’t fully grasp the themes it was conveying due to my own skepticisms going into it. Here’s my original review.

December 13, 2020: THE PROM (Dir. Ryan Murphy)

I really can’t critically engage with this movie because my brain just turns off the minute the first song starts. Most of the criticisms you’ve heard are valid - though perhaps a little bit blown out of proportion - but it’s so much damn fun. I’ve watched it twice now.

December 19, 2020: MA RAINEY��S BLACK BOTTOM (Dir. George C. Wolfe)

Chadwick Boseman’s last performance is haunting, transformative, and magnetic. The same can be said about Viola Davis’ performance, which is a surprise to no one, but this is really Chadwick’s vehicle. I just wish the directing was as interesting as the acting. This film was adapted from an August Wilson play, and directorially it was treated like a play, which doesn’t necessarily translate that well to film. The space around the actors wasn’t really utilized, and the way it was shot was pretty lackluster and static; oftentimes, the only interesting thing to look at in a scene was an actor’s performance. Maybe I’ve just been a little obsessed with Steve McQueen’s directing style lately, but this movie probably would’ve been five stars for me (instead of the four-and-a-half I gave it) if it was directed by him.

December 19, 2020: LONG TOAST (Dir. Karsten Runquist)

youtube

Fuck yeah, Karsten Runquist! Shout out to his monthly “what I watched in [insert month]” videos for giving me the inspiration to write this.

December 23, 2020: LET IT SNOW (Dir. Luke Snellin)

Weirdly enough, this may be one of my favorite Christmas movies. There’s nothing all that remarkable about it, but it has a sweet, simple holiday vibe with innocent performances and low stakes. I don’t really ask a lot for Christmas movies, and this pretty much delivers.

December 25, 2020: THE PSYCHOLOGY OF DREAM ANALYSIS (Dir. Rian Johnson)

This short film from Rian Johnson is the earliest thing I could find of his filmography on Letterboxd, and it was a pretty engaging watch. It was essentially all of Johnson’s quirks as a director condensed into ten minutes. It reminded me of those trippy short stories you had to read in middle school.

December 26, 2020: PLUS ONE (Dir. Jeff Chan & Andrew Rhymer)

I’ve seen a lot of rom-coms - like, an ungodly amount - and my love-hate affair with this genre has made me realize that predictability isn’t the issue with rom-coms (a lot of genres are very, very predictable). The issue is a lack of authenticity. Yes, this film is predictable, but it’s authentic. The humor in this movie actually feels like something that would happen in real life, not something heavily contrived or exaggerated for the sake of entertainment. I don’t have anything against the contrived and exaggerated, but it’s refreshing to see comedy being delivered so naturally in this genre. Plus One also has a more realistic (but still sweet) perspective on love and relationships which you don’t normally see in any genre.

December 27, 2020: THE HALF OF IT (Dir. Alice Wu)

I watched this at the beginning of the year and didn’t enjoy it all that much - partly because I was in the closet and aaaah girls kissing aaaaaah - and partly because I just thought it was boring. On a second viewing, I really appreciated it more. I think it’s the smartest and most well-shot movie directed toward teens that I’ve seen on Netflix. Although the script can be a bit pretentious, it’s directed in a way that doesn’t feel like it’s either trying to be too indie or like an hour and fourty-five minute long single-camera sitcom episode. The character of Ellie is also a really interesting and nuanced character, and a good example of how to write and portray queerness on screen.

December 27, 2020: TAYLOR SWIFT - FOLKLORE: THE LONG POND STUDIO SESSIONS (Dir. Taylor Swift)

I would die for Taylor Swift and/or Jack Antonoff.

December 28, 2020: MANK (Dir. David Fincher)

I went into this movie as a) someone who has never seen a David Fincher film, and b) someone who has never seen Citizen Kane. Unsurprisingly, Mank was definitely not my thing. That doesn’t mean I didn’t appreciate it. It’s a fucking good-looking movie. But it’s kind of like the himbo of movies - it’s nice to look at, but there’s not much going on underneath. I’m hearing this complaint from a lot of people: it’s a technical masterpiece, but it feels pretty damn hollow. Personally, it’s not enough for me to recognize that a film looks and sounds good - I have to care about and know the human beings within it in order for me to think that it’s a good movie. To me, a film is only as good as the emotional relevance of its story, but sadly emotional relevance is where Mank falls short.

What movies kept you sane during 2020? Let me know!

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thekuroiookami · 7 years ago

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Otome Mania

This is no longer a secret, I have played, do play and will play a fair number of otome games. I’m weak to cliched romantic plotlines, okay?

Since I did promise @lethesomething a list, here it is. The summary is...I’ve played a lot of games.

Games organized by console, arranged from meh to great.

PS Vita

I pretty much got a Vita so I could play otomes. Don’t judge me too harshly. And while a lot of these are incomplete (i.e. I haven’t played through every route), I feel like I can give an opinion.

Norn 9: Var Commons - Admittedly I haven’t gotten far into this, but lord is the plot confusing. Like, what is happening? What is happening? So many pretty people, though...

Sweet Fuse - Cute, fun, though not high on replay value. The characters are really weird, but don’t let that stop you. They have charm, and the parody elements are worth it. Plus blowing your top has never been so satisfying.

Collar x Malice - I almost finished one route and I’m really enjoying it. The heroine has so much personality and she chews out the dude whose route I was doing, and the mystery is so intriguing, if a tad weirdly investigated...

Code Realize: Guardian of Rebirth - By far the best otome game I’ve played on anything. A beautifully built world, excellent artwork, a heroine with backbone, massively diverging plotlines, and just about every love interest is actually interesting. I’d encourage everyone to play this when it comes out on PC. The Suwabe character is just the icing on the cake for once.

PS3

Hakuoki: Demon of the Fleeting Blossom - Hugely overrated, I think, though not many games can match the artwork. Incredibly long, painful storylines that made me yawn. Heroine has zero presence. I do love Saito though.

Mobile

Mystic Messenger - Is entertaining, but every love interest needs immediate help from a psychologist. The format works to the game’s advantage, and the voice acting is good, I spent a ton of money on it. But the romance doesn’t always feel like a romance.

Liar: Uncover the Truth - This is a surprisingly fun game, but I didn’t have the patience to wait for tickets, or spend money on the black hole. Sad but true.

Games you should definitely never play:

Amnesia: Memories - out and out horror, that one. I don’t know why player character has a sprite, because her personality is non-existent.

Ozmafia - Theoretically very interesting, but in practice, suffers from a spineless heroine. I have a knack for finding the yandere route the second time I play any game, and...let’s say if you play the doctor’s route you’re in for some surprises. Yeah.

Men of Yoshiwara: Sigh. Terrible translation, first off, backed up by terrible writing. Just don’t.

Games that are okay to pass the time:

Seduce Me and Seduce Me 2: Demon War - It’s not like this one is bad, just not amazing. It’s decently voice acted, and the first one is a cute rom-com. The second game gets a lot more complex and weird, and it’s super easy to die. The first game is free.

The Lady’s Choice - A Regency romance otome game with only two choices, but it’s nice how much you can shape the MC’s personality. Free on itch.io.

Dandelion and Nameless - Both of these are Korean-origin, produced by the same company that did Mystic Messenger, and while they do have strong writing plus original concepts, somehow the games never keep my attention for long. Nameless is a bit dark in tone, if that appeals to you. Dandelion is a stat-raising sim, which I hate with a passion.

Loren the Amazon Princess - I think this was one of the first ones I played, and it was pretty ahead in the range of LGBTQ characters, but now that I think back on it, the RPG/romance combination was a tad strange. But I do recommend it.

Days of the Divine - Another of those free itch.io ones, I can barely remember this. It was passable.

How to Take Off Your Mask - Cute, but I can’t remember what the point was.

Games that are super cute and definitely need to be played at least once:

Cute Demon Crashers - It’s a pretty short game, but utterly wonderful in its simplicity and earnestness. An R-18 novel that is very high on sex positivity, I’d recommend this one a lot. Free on itch.io.

The Blind Griffin - An odd but good work set in the age of flapper dresses and speakeasies, following a Chinese heroine who accidentally stumbles upon a secret magician’s guild and trains as an apprentice. Great art, comes with a slang dictionary, and makes up for its abruptness with cuteness. Free on itch.io.

Heartbaked - Lots of aggressive pastry references in this one, and one guy who is? a sheep? Or something? I dunno, it’s adorable. Free on itch.io.

Hustle Cat - A cat cafe, only the staff are the cats. Light hearted fun, though it is easy to mess the game up and get a bad ending.

Autumn’s Journey - So cute. So much fluff. Dragon boys. A girl knight. Enough said. Free on itch.io.

Magical Otoge Ciel - If you want to simultaneously have your soul uplifted and go “WTF is this meta”, play this. It’s so irreverent and sweet, and the art grows on you. @batensan‘s Magical Otoge Anholly is a good read as well, though it is technically a linear novel. Free on itch.io.

Taarradhin - A beautiful fantasy short, but incredibly hard to figure out. The high probability of getting it wrong kind of put me off. Free on itch.io.

Lads in Distress - Exactly what it says on the tin. Overly competent princess with pink hair takes matters into her own hands and saves the princes. I only wish we also had the option to date the childhood fried cum fairy advisor. Free on itch.io.

Re: Alistair - This one is really good, and honestly would have been included in the best games list if it had more LIs. There’s a cute mystery to sort of solve, and I don’t even mind the stat-raising elements. Free on itch.io.

Ristorante Amore - Gorgeous art, and a major plot twist once the story really gets started. I can’t give away anything for fear of ruining it, so just go play it. Free on itch.io.

Yo-Jin-Bo - One of my guilty pleasures, honestly. Yes the MC is a wimp, but the absolute comedy that passes for dialogue is worth it.

Games that sink their claws in and don’t let go:

Cinders - I cannot recommend this enough. Sublime story-telling, the option to be Machiavellian, naively sweet or something in between. The LI’s are good, of course (guess who’s my favourite), but the real star of the show is female relationships - Cinders and her stepsisters, the daughters and the mother, the godmother in disguise. There’s so many possible outcomes as well. I wish the original fairytale were half as interesting.

Cinderella Phenomenon - A free game I backed on Kickstarter, and it’s looking pretty good. The heroine is unapologetically bitchy, but goes through some satisfying character development in the routse I played. Intrigue abounds, and even though I wish there was a little less blushing to go around, it’s pretty good overall.

Demonheart - I am a little torn about this, because it’s an ongoing game on Steam (released in chapters). On the one hand, I feel like romance things happened really abruptly in the last chapter. On the other, the concept is executed very well and there are so many choices. Plus, excellent worldbuilding.

Nachtigal - A really good shorter game about a spunky heroine trapped with two vampires. There’s a whole variety of ways to die in this one, so it’s extra satisfying when you do land the guy.

The Royal Trap - Say what you will about it, but as one of the first VNs I read, I still quite like this one. So many romance options, and so much intrigue. Each route reveals something different about the overall plot. Good stuff.

The Second Reproduction - Starts off typical, but then it goes down some truly unexpected routes. Strong heroine, attractive demon king. Be sure to play it with a guide to get the whole story.

There are plenty I haven’t played at all, or not enough to comment, but this is the list I’d give out to anyone who wanted some recs.

#otome game #recommendations #not anime #random stuff #wow this is long #im restraining myself #honestly

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ozzdog12 · 7 years ago

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2017- Top 7 (And 1)

Well as another year closes, so does another fantastic year in gaming. In fact, this could be one of the best in history!! You may say, Why only a Top 7 and there are two reasons. 1: Everyone does a Top 10 or Top 20, but nobody does just 7. It also makes the list more prestigious 2: I’m lazy.

But I do give my biggest disappointment

Well lets get on with it.

Biggest Disappointment: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch)

Now I know you’re shocked and you’re saying things like “ This list is shit! BotW is the GOTY!” or “WHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT how?!?!” Let me explain. I don’t have the nostalgia for Nintendo that a majority of people have, so I can give a pretty non-biased opinion when it comes to Nintendo games. BotW is a decent game, but its not without its faults. Actually it’s a really bad Zelda game and an even worse ‘Open-World’ game. It’s an open world game made by people who haven’t played one in a decade. However, most alarming is the story, or lack thereof. I know part of the charm in Zelda games is creating your own adventure, but I found almost zero motivation, especially in the early hours to even progress forward. BotW is vastly different from previous Zelda games and takes a lot of risks. Some paid and most didn't. The game is gorgeous for a launch game and being able to play it both on my tv and ‘on the go’ is also a huge plus. The biggest complaint though is the controls are complete ass ( NOTE: I did not play it with a Pro controller, but I understand its much better) I get that with the way the controller is designed you're limited to certain buttons, but some of the controls are so counter-intuitive, that I constantly found myself looking or thinking about which button did what rather than naturally doing it ( I’ve been playing videogames for 25 years, so its not a user error, its a design error). All in all, its a Fine game and a lot of people love it, but its not the best game of the year.. it’s not even the best game on the system….

Number 7: Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice (PS4)

Hellblade could be on this list for its impeccable sound design alone. Seriously, play this game in the dark with a good headset. While there is combat, the game is not predicated on heavy combat, its more about the deeply personal story told with a Norse mythology backdrop.The puzzles are simple, but unique. The game also looks incredible.The voice acting is superb. In a gaming environment littered with so many open-world games, a well-designed, linear story-driven game is great palette cleanser. Seriously, check this game out.

Number 6: Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus (Xbox One)

This is in no way a political post, but in the current state of the United States, a game about killing Nazis is so refreshing. It also helps that its actually a really great game. While I do think The New Order is a more meaty, complete story and game, The New Colossus has more jaw dropping “HOLY SHIT!” & “WTF!” moments than any game I’ve played in the last 7-8 years.The game knows what it is and it excels greatly. The game takes some really creative plot twists. BJ isn’t just some standard FPS goon that murders Nazis ( well HE is that too, but you learn more about his past and find a very human side to him). Its also go violent and so satisfying taking an ax to the face of a Nazi. MY biggest gripe is right when the game really starts hitting its stride, it just sort’ve ends. You can go back and revisit previous locations to take of Ubercommanders, but unless you just want more of the same, there is no real incentive to so. I’m really looking forward a 3rd(4th?) chapter in this Wolfenstein story.

Number 5: Super Mario Odyssey (Switch)

I’m not the biggest Mario fan and like I said above, I don’t have the nostalgia for Nintendo. As a person, who thinks Mario 64 is way over-rated and is a sub-par game, but loves Mario Galaxy, my biggest concern going in was that this was going to be more like 64. To my surprise, after getting used to the sensitivity of the controls, I found my self REALLY enjoying the game and constantly looking for moons to collect, even when I had enough to move on to the next world.The game is set up in a way to encourage you to revisit worlds even after you’ve beaten the game. I found it to be relatively short for a Mario game, but honestly there is enough there even if you don’t want to 100% the game. Cappy is a new and fresh introduction to Mario that the franchise really needed.

Number 4: Prey (XBONE)

Man I have to admit something about Prey. I played the demo and didn’t like it. Finally played the full game and for the first 2 hours thought it was kinda dull, but I knew there was something there and I kept on playing and boy am I glad I did. Prey is THE BEST game seemingly nobody played. I fault a lot of that to the failure to market it correctly. Prey is such a unique experience and a game that is so different from anything our there, it has to be played to fully comprehend it. In terms of gameplay, it doesn’t reinvent the wheel but it’s one of those games that when I wasn’t playing, it’s all I thought about. When I was playing, I just wanted to explore every nook and corner within Talos 1. It also has one of the most unique endings/twist to a game I've experienced in a long time. I don’t want to dwell on too much because I’ll ramble into spoiler territory but do yourself a favor and PLAY this game!

Number 3: Injustice 2 (PS4)

As a massive DC fan and a massive Mortal Kombat, I was hotly anticipating I2, I was a little concerned with the gear system prior to release fearing it would cause imbalance (especially online) but it didn’t for the most part. In a gaming world, where loot boxes are all the rage, I think NRS handled it fairly well. At the end of the day, I wish it was all just cosmetic because i rarely looked at the stat boost and just went with what i liked cosmetically. The story picks up following the events of the first game. Its also very odd to me that NRS can make a better, more compelling story than Warner Bros can with their movies…but I digress. There are plethora of new and returning characters and all are different enough to fit your fighting preference. Some characters i would’ve preferred over others, but all in all, I think its a very impressive roster. With different towers/multiverses rotating in various intervals, its a significant upgrade to the S.T.A.R labs challenges from the previous game. I put in over 100 hours and thats even before all the DLC characters are out.

Number 2: Uncharted: The Lost Legacy (PS4)

Being that Uncharted is one of my favorite gaming franchises, this should be no surprise. Goodbye Nathan Drake, Hello supporting cast! With Nathan Drakes adventures ‘completed”, I am all for more Uncharted with side stories for supporting cast. (Young Sully next please). Chloe (being absent from Uncharted 4) and Nadine (being a villain in Uncharted 4) is an interesting tag team set up. Personalities clash and deception and lying is ever present as you’d expect. As per the status quo from Naughty Dog, the game is graphically top notch and the mo-cap and voice acting is superb. There are several nods to previous games and even an appearance by a certain character. The game is shorter than previous Uncharted games and its honestly the perfect length for this style of story an price tag. More Uncharted is always a good thing!

Honorable Mentions: Pyre(PC), & Metroid: Samus Returns(3DS)

Number 1: Horizon Zero Dawn(PS4)

Man, what can I say about HZD that hasn’t been covered before. From the first trailer I saw, I had an expectation of what I wanted from this game and its surpassed it ten fold. An achievement in and of itself these days. There are a lot of great open -world games out there, but one of the biggest issues with all this open-world-ness is that story gets dumbed down or sacrificed ( see Breath of the Wild). Horizon Zero Dawn has a really great story that keeps you going adn trying to figure out “What is Zero Dawn?” Trying to uncover all the little secrets is so much fun, the collectibles make you explore this gigantic world. The (post-apocalyptic) )world never feels empty or barren ( unless that was the intention) Even the side quests feel meaningful for the most part. There is a lot going on in this game, but its all organized and presented together well. My one gripe is that the game doesn't do a great job of telling you the differences and benefits to certain ammo types, you’re basically left to figure it out on your own. Fighting robot dinosaurs never gets old and with the addition of The Frozen Wilds, you get 3 new creatures and they are brutal as ever. Every fight with a Thunderjaw or a group of Scorchers feels meaningful and satisfying even when you hit level 60. While I don’t think its fair to compare Breath of the Wild and Horizon Zero Dawn, they are often compared ad nauseum. I will say that in my opinion HZD did almost everything better than BotW in the things they both tried to accomplish. Horizon Zero Dawn is not only my favorite game on 2017, its made its way into my Top 5 favorite games of All-Time!

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shamelessly4shameless-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Nickovich (pt. 11)

Ian wakes to find blue eyes fixed on him and a hand lightly cupping his cheek.

“Hey.”

He turns to kiss the inside of Mickey’s wrist and smiles slightly. Sunlight is filtering in between the cracks in the curtains and the sounds of the city waking up echo softly through the walls.

There is a flash of something that casts a momentary shadow behind Mickey’s eyes, but then it is gone and his lips are pressing against Ian’s with an urgent intimacy. Ian sweeps his tongue over Mickey’s and pulls him in tight against his body. His hands feel too rough against the soft skin of Mickey’s ribs and Ian slows his movements down. He is trying to consume too much of Mickey at once, he needs to take his time.

The sex is gentler, slower than the night before and the orgasms that leave them shaking in each other’s arms are silent save for a couple of deep sighing breaths. Ian kisses Mickey’s jaw, his temple, his upper lip. He traces the swell of pectoral muscles with this thumb and memorises the colour of his morning stubble, slightly shy of black but not by much. Mickey smiles under Ian’s gaze and nudges his hips lightly against Ian’s.

“Missed waking up like this.”

“Me too.”

Ian nods and then regretfully glances at his watch.

“I have to go.”

“Will I see you again?”

Mickey asks quietly, sitting up and trying to cover up the ache those words cause him by the fumbling open of a cigarette packet.

Ian nods and nudges his forehead lightly against Mickey’s, stilling his hands. They share another kiss and then Ian is rolling out of bed, stopping only to place the filter of a smoke lightly between his lover’s lips.

“I’ll call you.”

Ian promises, taking a few notes out of his wallet and leaving them on the table.

“Get yourself some decent breakfast.”

He winks at Mickey, trying to lighten the heavy mood that has settled around them. Ian is pretty sure Mickey is trying not to cry, he’s got that glassy eyed look and his nostrils are flared wide and the sight makes Ian’s gut clench. He thinks of all those years he would give Mickey those same pleading looks, begging him silently not to go and knowing that he would anyway. It gives Ian a new appreciation of what the other side of those early days must have felt like.

“I’ll call you, Mick.”

He repeats more firmly and the Mickey nods curtly, clears his throat and says

“Okay. I gotta collect a couple things, I’ll be leaving town this afternoon. This evening at latest.”

Ian knew this was likely but actually hearing it leaves him feeling a little light headed.

“Fine. Cool. Okay.”

He turns to the door. He needs to go but suddenly it is all too much. Arriving, leaving, coming, going, hello, and of course, good-bye. Ian wants to say that he’ll definitely be going with Mickey but in truth he still isn’t sure. A teenage love affair is not meant to be like this. It is meant to either run its course, like flames flicking along a linear trail of gasoline and then burn out, or it is meant to shape into a partnership and a life built. What has happened between he and Mickey has been too much of one thing to ever really be the other. It has been a constant battle for every single moment of happiness and now, running away together with the law on their tail … Jesus. It would be hard enough on someone without Ian’s fluctuating mental health issues, but with them it feels like a disaster waiting to happen.

He stares at the door handle in the agony of indecision. As he hesitates, a strong arm wraps around Ian’s waist and he feels Mickey’s cheek press into his shoulder. Ian turns just enough to wrap himself around the shorter man and they stay like that, just holding each other.

“I’m going to call. I promise.”

Ian mumbles into Mickey’s hair and feels a nod against him.

“You take care of yourself, okay?”

Mickey says finally, pulling back, eyes red rimmed but dry. Ian nods and smooths his hands over Mickey’s shoulders and down his arms, memorising as much of his face as he can, drinking in the tiny details and the feel of his skin.

“I love you.”

“I know.”

Mickey gives Ian a small smile and with more strength than he knew he had, he lets him go.

Mickey presses his forehead against the cool gloss painted door as it closes behind Ian and squeezes his eyes shut tight, willing himself to stay in control.

There is a small sound of blankets being shifted and Mickey pinches the bridge of his nose firmly, setting his shoulders, inhaling deeply and pulling it together.

“You okay?”

Nicky asks quietly and Mickey nods, wiping a hand across his upper lip before turning to face her.

“Yeah, I’m fine. He’ll do what he has to do. Always has.”

Nicky wraps a blanket around her shoulders like a cape and settles herself cross legged on the bed giving him a sympathetic smile.

“You look like you need a drink.”

Mickey puffs out his cheeks with an awkward grimace. He desperately wants to dive into a bottle and not surface until he knows what Ian is going to do but he’s taken too many risks already and he knows he’s a sloppy drunk, especially when he’s upset.

“Nah. I got shit to do. Can’t do it if I can’t think straight.”

“How about we go out for coffee then? This room smells like stale beer, rough sex, and repressed anger.”

“Yeah … well … You spilled the fuckin’ beer!”

Nicky lets out one of her deep throaty laughs and grins at him

“The beer is actually not the worst thing out of those three. C’mon. Let’s go get decent coffee.”

“You suggest that weird glittery coffee place I’m gonna fuck you up.”

“Ian goes there. Don’t you wanna see it?”

“No.”

Mickey runs a hand over his jaw, grimacing at the stubble.

“I’m gonna shower. Order coffee to the room or something.”

“Hey! I like this new side of you. Room service and personal hygiene? You’re a winner, Abe.”

“Not my fuckin’ name.”

Mickey grouches but he’s actually feeling a little better already. Nicky teasing him is a pain in the ass but it’s just really good to have someone around. Anyone really. A distraction from the disturbance that is occurring in his mind.

By the time he finishes his shower and shave there is coffee, fruit and bagels waiting for him. There is also the faint tang of marijuana in the air and he frowns at Nicky accusingly.

“Would you believe me if I told you that a couple of high-school guys with leather bombers and bad attitudes broke in and smoked all your pot while you washed up?”

Nicky grins at him, a lopsided, half-awake smile that makes Mickey roll his eyes but he isn’t actually that fussed about the pot. He needs to keep sharp today, way too much shit riding on him to risk fucking it up because he can’t stop laughing.

“You’re an asshole is what I’d believe.”

“Junkie asshole. Can’t leave me around drugs, Abe.”

Mickey pauses in towelling his hair and cocks his head in her direction

“Really?”

“Yeah really. Shit. You left me alone for five minutes and I smoked the one joint we have. Didn’t even save you any.”

She looks anxious now and Mickey knows that one of her monologue confessions is about to spring forth and as he hasn’t even had coffee yet, he figures it’s best to cut that one off before it begins.

“I don’t care that you smoked it so just …”

“Are we gonna be dealing a lot of drugs in Mexico?”

“Huh?”

Mickey bites into an apple and picks up his drink, trying not to show the rush of hopeful excitement that sprang from her use of the word ‘we’.

“Drugs? In Mexico? Cause I figure if we are then you should probably leave me behind.”

“You bailing on me too?”

The hopeful excitement wobbles and his words come out a lot needier than Mickey intended. He fills his mouth with more fruit to stop any other whiny crap coming out.

“I’m not bailing on you but I can’t be around high volumes of narcotics. I will do all the drugs we have and get our fingers cut off or whatever the Cartel do …”

“Cartel…?”

“And also, Ian hasn’t bailed on you. Personally I think he’ll come with you – maybe not the whole way, I don’t know how much of a pussy he is, but he’ll at least get in the van.”

“He’s not a pussy. And I’m not taking the van! Things a piece of crap.”

Mickey snaps, then chokes on his apple and Nicky waits patiently for him to decide whether or not he is about to die before continuing as he gulps down a glass of water and pounds his chest.

“Whatever, the point is … shit … what was my point?”

“How the hell should I know?”

Mickey quips, voice harsh from his near death experience. Nicky stands up and walks over to him, resting her hands lightly on his shoulders.

“You are a really great kid, really great. I don’t even know how I know that but I just do. I want you to make it outta here, Abe. I really want that.”

“Okay.”

Mickey nods, his eyes darting away from her intense brown gaze because that sort of eye contact with anyone but Ian makes him feel a little claustrophobic and he doesn’t know what to do with her emotion.

“So I can’t be the one who fucks it up for you. Me and drugs … we’re like that shitty couple who hate each other but keep going because the sex is amazing. I can’t help it and I can’t control it.”

“Yeah I know that feeling.”

Mickey quirks his eyebrow in teasing irony and Nicky acknowledges it fondly

“Right. So I have to be honest with you and say that I am the shittiest person when it comes to narcotics and I want to go with you, but ...”

“You do?”

Mickey’s eyes snap back to hers and Nicky gives him another one of those sweetly lopsided smiles

“I do, fresh start could be good for me and Chicago is fucking freezing.”

“Not even winter yet.”

Mickey smirks and then softens into a genuine smile as Nicky hands over around a third of a blunt.

“I lied, I did save you some but I wanted you to know that I have a problem and I don’t want to make it your problem too. Did I make my point?”

Nicky watches as Mickey lights it, looks pointedly at her and after a long inhale that makes his chest rattle, steps into the bathroom and drops the rest in the toilet bowl, exhaling through the little window.

“Yeah you did. Fuckin’ long winded and dramatic way to make it, but we got there.”

He rolls his shoulders and thinks for a moment.

“You okay with guns? I can run those instead, probably less hassle to be honest. And there is always beat down work too. Wherever you go, someone always wants to pay to fuck someone else up.”

“I was more thinking coffee shop on the beach front, serving espressos to tourists.”

Nicky sighs happily at the thought but Mickey wrinkles his nose in distate

“Fuck that. I want to make some cash and then buy the damn coffee store. I ain’t bein’ some assholes waiter”

“Sweet! Okay you buy it, then you can make me manager.”

“More like fire your ass and get someone who don’t give me shit every day.”

Mickey throws over his shoulder as he begins styling his hair.

“Oh fuck off. You know you find me delightful.”

“Sure as shit wouldn’t be serving any glittery crap.”

Nicky rolls her eyes as she leans against the door jamb watching him.

“For someone who hated it, you sure bring it up a lot.”

Mickey raises his middle finger in the mirror and declines to answer. Nicky winks at him and smiles

“I’m gonna make a special latte. It’ll be milk, coffee …”

“Sounds like a real game changer …”

“Shut up. Milk, coffee, a shot of vodka and … get this, some dark rum on top and I’m gonna call it ‘Abe’s Revenge’”

“Revenge for what?”

“Everything.”

Nicky opens her eyes wide and nods sagely and after thinking about his life for a moment, Mickey snorts and turns back from the mirror.

“Why the fuck not? Abe’s Revenge.”

“Or ‘Mickey’s’ if you like?”

Nicky offers, arching one eyebrow.

“Abe’s is fine.”

Mickey sniffs dismissively, as if he hasn’t bitched about the nickname incessantly and strides past her.

“Of course it fucking is.”

Nicky laughs to herself.

#shameless #shameless us #shameless fanfiction #nicky nichols #mickey milkovich #Milkovich #Milkovich and Nichols #nickovich

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impalafortrenchcoats · 7 years ago

Text

Coming Apart On Top of You: Ch. 3

Author: impalafortrenchcoats

Chapter: 3/?

Summary:

That one assassin/coffee shop AU no one asked for. (Actual summary in previous parts)

Ships: Namjin, Jikook/Kookmin, Sope/Yoonseok

Category: Hitmen + Assassins AU, Coffee Shop AU, Non-Linear Storytelling

Chapter Wordcount: 8593

Previous: Part 1 / Part 2

Ao3 Link: here

Excerpt:

Worst of all, the figurative icing on this mess of a cake, was Sweatshirt. The man jumped into action and quickly came to Namjoon’s rescue by tugging down his sweatpants and pressing his ice drink to Namjoon’s wounded lap.

Which was how he found himself, tears streaming down his face, standing in the middle of the coffee shop with his pants halfway down his legs, and the man of his dreams kneeling in front of him rubbing his drink on his privates.

Of course, Yoongi was recording the whole thing.

The first time Kim Taehyung had properly set eyes on the man’s face, he knew he would be perfect. Considering the rumors flying around the coffee shop, he had been afraid that reality would be more disappointing, but instead, it was rather the opposite. The tales paled in comparison to the living, breathing specimen. Taehyung wasn’t one to throw around the word ‘beautiful’ unnecessarily, but if ever there was a case for the application of the word, it was this man.

And there was no logical reason for it. Based off description alone, there should be nothing particularly remarkable about the man. His hair, looking at the color, could technically be described as a mousy brown, but somehow on this guy, it worked. His clothes were unremarkable as well, just a t-shirt and jeans combination with a simple gray sweater. In fact, the thing that stuck out most, and where the eyes ended up, was the garish colors of the Mario print that stuck out like a sore thumb against the white of his shirt. It would have been easy to understand how many would overlook the man’s face.

But not Taehyung. No. He was here with a purpose, and a noble purpose at that. Like the saying goes, there was no greater love than a man willing to lay down his life for a friend. This wasn't exactly that, but getting his friend laid should be way up there.

Kim Taehyung was a good friend.

+++

The whole thing started three weeks ago.

Namjoon had practically given himself an aneurysm trying to scream the delayed shipment into submission. By which Taehyung meant that everyone in the office was walking on eggshells to avoid setting off another Namjoon tirade. So, as a last resort to maintain the final shreds of his sanity, he waited for the opportune time and got out of there as fast as possible.

If he happened to be pretending that he was a secret agent on an important espionage mission, it was no one’s business but his own.

There was only one corridor left before Taehyung was out the door, so he dove to the wall and flattened himself against it. He was peeking around what he thought was an empty corner when a quiet voice behind him all but sent him up the wall in fright.

“Boss, are you humming the 007 theme song?”

Taehyung whirled around and stared at one of their new clerks, heart hammering in his chest. He breathed a long huff in relief when he computed the shocked look on the other man’s face, and whispered, “are you sneaking out, too?”

“What? No, boss, I would never -”

“Because I would totally understand, you know. Namjoon is a monster when he’s in a crappy mood. Also, we carpooled together today, so I don't have ride.”

“I'm not sneaking out, sir.”

“You should, you know. It's almost lunch. We should eat. I'll cover you, it'll be on me.”

“Uh, we just started work an hour ago.”

“Brunch, then.”

“And I don't have a car.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Want to sneak out, anyway?”

“I would much rather stay here, if it's alright with you, sir.”

“Oh.”

An awkward silence fell over the pair. Taehyung was still pressed against the wall when he finally continued, “I'm just going to go, now.”

“Okay, sir.”

“Also, you didn't see me.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Oh! And do you know any good places to eat around here? I guess I can't really go too far.”

“I just moved here, sir.”

Oh… Pity.”

“Sorry.”

“Okay. Bye, then, I guess.”

“Have a good…brunch?”

Taehyung gave a tiny wave and was out the door before the clerk could properly get rid of the confusion on his face. It was actually a pretty common occurrence in the office, now that Taehyung thought about it.

He made his way out to the street level rather quickly. Once outside, Taehyung indulged in a moment of relaxation. The entire morning, the whole hour of it, had been one thing after another and when Namjoon got into one of his moods, it was best to vacate the vicinity.

Although they have been in this office a good few years, Taehyung had ended up working more in the behind the scenes aspect than Namjoon, initially anyway. He hadn't been actually needed on site until the last year or so, and even then, he had usually gone straight to and from the office by car and hadn't gotten a proper look around the area. Namjoon always ate out, but was also surprisingly picky with what he was willing to eat, so they had a set list of acceptable locations for him to go when they ate lunch together, which wasn't all that often.

Namjoon was a bonafide workaholic, and it was more often the case that Taehyung would bring back something to make sure Namjoon didn't shrivel into an overstressed zombie at his desk.

He figured he'd bring him something back as a peace offering for bailing.

In any case, this was a good opportunity to scope the area for food. While there wasn't much in the immediate surroundings, he was only a short walk from the station, and he knew that a lot of the guys at the office said there was a decent area for food just one stop down the line.

So, one short train ride later, Taehyung was happily enjoying a late morning stroll. There weren't very many people out and about at this time, but it was just late enough that most of the restaurants and smaller eateries were open for business.

He still wasn't sure what he wanted, though. The clerk had been right about it being too early to be out. Taehyung wasn't anywhere near hungry enough to try to sit in.

He was leaning against a wall, contemplating the merits of heading back empty-handed and nagging Namjoon into actually leaving for lunch today, when the loud chime of bells from across the street pulled him from his thoughts.

Two things registered prominently in his mind when he finally set eyes on the source of the sound: first was that there was a quaint looking coffee shop nestled in a nook across the street that was rather easy to miss, second, and more importantly, holy mackerel, that was a lot of pink. The man who had just stepped out the shop was sporting an oversized sweater that was as insanely large as it was pink, given that Taehyung would guess the man to be approximately Namjoon’s height, maybe slightly shorter.

Despite his curiosity, he couldn't make out the man’s face since his hood was up and he was sporting some giant sunglasses as well. Strangely, as if sensing Taehyung’s stare, the man turned toward him as the door closed.

Rather than shying away from being caught staring, Taehyung smiled and waved. He tugged a bit at his own jacket then pointed at the man to signal the sweatshirt, then gave the man a huge thumbs up.

He was extra delighted when, instead of giving him a weird look or turning away like most people at work, the man crumpled slightly as he gave a full body laugh. Too bad he was too far away for Taehyung to hear what his laugh sounded like, but still, he was just happy someone got his point.

The man waved his thanks, and was about to head off when Taehyung waved frantically for his attention again. He could see the pink hood tilt in confusion, but he mimed the coffee cup and tried to convey the question of whether or not it was good to the man via pantomime.

The second surprise of the encounter was the fact the guy actually understood; not only that, he made a flourished bow to welcome Taehyung toward the coffee shop door.

Taehyung didn't need anymore encouragement and all but hopped his way over, calling out as he approached, “I love you and your sweater! You both just saved me from a coffee-less existence, and this whole morning would have been shit!”

Up close, the man’s laugh was pretty unique, oddly squeaky, but it put an even bigger smile on Taehyung’s face to hear it.

“No biggie. You looked desperate.”

“You have no idea. I'm not familiar with this area but I have needs, dude. Needs, I say,” Taehyung said in a rush, a little breathless from the jog over.

“You should probably look things up before you head out to a new place, just saying.”

“It’s called spontaneity! And I may have snuck out of my office without letting anyone know.”

“In that case, knock knock.”

“What?”

“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?” Taehyung was confused by someone else. This was a new life experience.

“Yo-yos.”

“Yo-yos who?”

“Yo-yos to call me on my cellphone,” the man shamelessly sang to the Drake tune.

He was speechless, Taehyung was speechless.

However, taking advantage of his silence, the man continued talking, “Which is something I assume you have, so you should still look up the area beforehand. Just be glad I was here to save you from a horrible mistake. There's a new coffee place down the road. Don't go there. This place is great, and you're welcome. Now in, in you go.”

He proceeded to shoo Taehyung in the door and disappeared off to who knows where before Taehyung had a chance to recover his voice.

Taehyung found himself inside the shop, wondering, ‘what the actual fuck just happened?’

It must have shown on his face because the barista behind the counter shot him a very understanding smile.

“Did you get stunned by the beauty or the lame?”

“What?” Taehyung felt as if he’d lost all control of his life.

“You got the shook-look. That guy that you were talking to, are you stunned by hotness or did he tell you a joke. For your sake, I really hope it was the hotness.”

“I actually couldn't see his face, now that I think about it.”

Taehyung was surprised when the barista put down the cup he was wiping and stepped out next to him to give him a sympathetic pat on the back.

“It was a joke then, eh? How bad was it, on a scale from one to ten?”

He didn't know what the hell was happening, but he might as well milk the sympathy, maybe he could get a discount.

Mustering up his best puppy dog eyes, he turned to the guy and all but whimpered, “I'm going to have to carry that shit forever, now, dude. It's burned into my brain. I'm going to carry that pun to my grave and beyond. That's how bad it was.”

He knew he had the guy. Even Namjoon was susceptible to his gaze of epic pathetic-ness. He took a second to read the barista’s name tag, and then chanced a look at the guy’s face to see if this Hoseok was caving.

And yep. If he played his cards right, cheap coffee for the TaeTae win!

“I'm so sorry. Like on behalf of all of us at Bangtan, I am so sorry. It's ‘cause the boss spoils him. And everyone humors him. It wasn't always so bad, but I swear, he went and got a book of bad puns or something because we’re almost at the point of staging an intervention.”

“So, he's a regular, I'm guessing?”

“Yeah, pretty regular. You can do what most everyone else does and avoid eye contact. Although, honestly, some of that might just be because of the hotness, but the older folks love him. He's generally harmless, if you ignore the toxic levels of horrible jokes. Oh! And is there anything I can get started for you? I forgot to ask!”

“Oh, um, just an ice coffee, I guess.” Taehyung was still recovering from the encounter.

“Any specific brews? You can look at the menu over there if you’d like.”

“You can pick for me, I'm not really picky.”

“Did you want it sweet?”

“Yep.”

“Milk?”

“Sure.”

“Alrighty, then. I'll get started on that. Did you want that here or take-out?”

Taehyung almost automatically said take-out, but a sudden seed of an idea took hold.

He smiled a big boxy grin and said, “For here, please.”

While Hoseok went about making his coffee, Taehyung gleefully sidled over to the row of high stools right by the counter. The barista was kind enough to give him a freebie cookie for his troubles. Score!

“So,” he started, figuring it wouldn't be so bad to have a small chat considering he was the only customer at the moment, “I get the joke thing, but what did you mean by ‘hotness’?”

“You didn't see his face at all?”

“Well, he had sunglasses and his hoodie was up and I was kind of distracted by the pink and the coffee…”

“Oh, yeah, the pink. We’re immune to that here, now that I think about it.”

“Is he always that pink?”

Hoseok opened his mouth to answer, then seemed to freeze. He tilted his head looking confused for a moment, before continuing, “You know what? No, not really. But I think once you see him with the pink, it just kind of clings onto his image, you know. Like you see TPH, and boom you think ‘pink.’”

“TPH?”

“Tall, pink, and handsome. It's his nickname, since nobody knows what his name is. Although, if you ask me, I swear boss probably knows, but he's enjoying this drama too much.”

“So I'm going to go out on a limb and say he’s hot?”

“Yup. Honestly, I would go with pretty, even. Just, generally attractive. Like if you ask go into a visual dictionary and look up ‘universally good looking,’ there's going to be a picture of TPH.”

“Wow.”

“Yup.”

“I sort of don't believe you.”

“Don't blame ya. It's just something that's got to be seen to be believed.”

“So, what's your rating?”

“Of TPH?” Hoseok came up to give him his coffee. “I guess I would say a solid 8.5. Although, I'm probably not the right person to ask.”

“Why’s that?”

Before Hoseok could answer, the chime of the door alerted them to a new arrival. But as Hoseok turned to greet them, Taehyung bore witness to what could only be described as the heavens opening up to the radiant glow of the sun.

Even from their short conversation, Taehyung could say that Hoseok had a warm personality and a very inviting face and smile. And while his initial greeting was the same warm one he’d given Taehyung when he first entered, he could tell the exact moment when Hoseok recognized who it was he was smiling at because the beaming level increased by 1000, and Taehyung would swear before court and jury that there were actual stars in Hoseok’s eyes.

Taehyung turned to look at the newcomer; he just had to see.

And it would not be an exaggeration to say he was a tad underwhelmed. A pale, slightly disheveled figure lumbered in, seemingly just recently woken from a deep sleep. While he wasn't unkempt, since his black parental advisory t-shirt wasn't overly wrinkled, but paired with his well-worn jeans and scruffy black hair, the man wasn't exactly the poster child for professionalism.

Taehyung sipped at his coffee and found himself looking back and forth between the new guy and Hoseok, who was still making embarrassingly blatant googly eyes at the guy. He gripped the glass tightly to physically hold back his inner meddling fiend.

“H-hi, Yoongi!” Hoseok was so obviously head over heels, it would be sad if it wasn't so cute.

The newcomer, apparently Yoongi, looked up momentarily, and seeing Hoseok’s beaming face, grunted something inaudible and made a beeline for the back kitchen.

Hoseok heaved a sigh and rubbed absently at the countertop, thus missing the last minute glance Yoongi threw his way before disappearing into the back.

However, Taehyung, who was watching the entire scene play out and barely holding back the glee, saw the entire thing. He was loving it. Ditching work had never been so rewarding.

He just had to say something, so when he turned to Hoseok as soon as the other man was gone and whispered, “So TPH is an 8.5, but I’m going to bet that guy is a full 10 out of 10, right?”

Hoseok flailed beautifully while shushing him. He also kept glancing to the back of the shop like his life depended on it.

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” he whispered back.

“Sure, man. But you might want to wipe the drool next time if you want to keep your blazing hard-on for the guy a secret.”

“Is it really that bad?”

“So bad, dude. So bad.”

“If I give you a knife now, could you do a guy a solid and just stab me?”

“No way. This is too good. You tried anything, yet? Besides ogling, I mean.”

“Hell, no! He barely knows I'm alive. He barely even knows my name!”

“Uh, somehow I highly doubt that.”

“What are you saying?”

Taehyung smirked, this was too perfect. Namjoon better not say he never does anything for him, because he was about to go above and beyond.

He leaned forward and said, “How about this? You help me out with something, and I help you land that ass.”

“Uh, don't take this the wrong way, but you are not exactly selling me on this. I don't even know you.”

“The name’s Taehyung, Kim Taehyung. And come on, what’s the worst that can happen? You said yourself, he doesn't even know your name.”

“I said he ‘barely’ knows my name. I'm sure he has it down, now.”

“Good for you.”

Hoseok sighed, “But what do you want exactly.”

“Just try and answer a few questions for me.”

“Okay? I'm going to regret this, but fine.”

“Great! I'm telling you, you're making a good decision.”

“Whatever. You sure you can help me with Yoongi?”

“Yup! You're actually not that bad off, you know.”

“If you say so. Well, what did you want to know?”

Taehyung grinned.

“First thing’s first, is TPH single?”

+++

Journal Entry 6

May 3, 2013

I'm stupid. I'm so, so, so stupid.

I don't know what I'm doing. I knew things were going too well. Nothing goes well for me for this long without shit going down. Fuck.

I'm so stupid.

All that planning for nothing. Why am I so fucking dumb.

I turned down sex with a gorgeous man, WHO I AM DATING! Is this a growing experience or have I lost my fucking mind.

It didn't feel right, though. Maybe I'm reading this entire thing wrong. Maybe he’s just not that into me. I mean, it's not like a month and a week is that long or anything (not that I'm counting), but we still haven't gone to his place, and I mean, how much do I really know him. Right? I don't know what he's looking for with this.

If it's sex, I would understand, but the situation is subzero in the action department. There's only so much I can masturbate before I will have to look back on my life and my decisions.

It was going so well last night, too. I cooked!

Well, no. I ordered take-out, heated them in some pans, and got rid of the evidence before he arrived. It's not my fault my cooking is too risky, and I had too much riding on the success of the evening to have food poisoning throw a wrench in my shit.

Then again, I ruined it quite fine on my own, so maybe food poisoning would have been better.

Anyway, Kookie got here. He's so goddamn beautiful, have I mentioned how hot he is? Because he's so fine. So fine.

The messy apartment ruse worked. Time for some dinner and a movie, and I was so ready to eat some meat last night. We ate the shitty take-out. I didn't care. That's what I could afford, and besides, it wasn't the main dish I intended for that evening.

I forgot what we were watching, even. But here we were, cuddling on my bed, the light was dimmed for the movie. Perfect, right? I figured, now or never. So I leaned over for a kiss. Nothing new. Everything was going well. I moved down to side of his neck, by this point the movie was completely forgotten and I was basically straddling him. I reached down and untucked his shirt (can I just point out how adorable it was he's wearing a button down tucked in) and ran my hand up his chiseled stomach.

God bless heavy camera equipments. Or his gym membership. Whatever. God bless chocolate abs is all I have to say.

So far, so good.

So I figured, lucky boxers got your back, Jimin, you do your thing.

I went to unbutton his pants, not before slipping my hand in the back and grabbing a bit of that class A ass, and this is where everything goes to shit.

I don't know how, I don't know why, but everything just stopped being so nice. I don't know. Kookie didn't really stop me. He still kissed me when I returned to his lips. But I just felt something was off.

It felt like, I don't know, the magic was gone and reality sucked. Like it became really clear that we were in my shitty apartment bedroom with some shitty movie droning in the background and dirty plates on the floor.

And the shittiest thing was that he didn't tell me no.

It was weird. It was bad. It wasn't supposed to feel bad.

I didn't know what to do so I just got off and scooted away. Like this was not cool. It wasn't right.

We didn't really say anything after.

I don't know how long we sat there, but he just got up, said that he was sorry, and left.

He took the plates to the sink, though.

I didn't walk him out.

I'm so stupid

Stupid. Stupid. Stup--

--- Whoops what was I writing?

So my previous bout of self pity was interrupted by the local dictator. Seulji was apparently done with my moping.

So one bottle of wine later, I think I might be an idiot.

Seulji is a genius.

I might be the world’s biggest asshole. Shit fuck fuck shit fuck.

Only maybe, though. Because no way right?

No way a guy that fine is a virgin, right?

Holy shit.

I am such an asshole!

+++

“May I ask just what the hell you think you're doing?”

Taehyung froze in his seat when a voice boomed over his head. He debated whether or not to turn around, not sure if he should feel guilty. He was at his usual spot in the cafe where he had been camped every lunch break over the last few days, waiting for a chance to see TPH with his own eyes.

He hadn't had much luck the last few days and was seriously thinking about either giving up on the whole idea, or waiting until he had a better handle on the situation before proceeding. Of course, it was just his luck that today, of all days, TPH came strutting into the cafe, and with his first good look at the man’s face, he made his decision.

This was an opportunity too perfect to pass up.

So maybe huddling behind the menu while sneaking peeks at the guy wasn’t the best nor most inconspicuous approach, but come on, it wasn’t like he did this all the time. Maybe if he just stared really hard at the menu, the owner of the voice would just go away.

Yeah, no.

When a firm hand clapped down on his shoulder, he knew the jig was up.

“I’ve been saying this for years, and no one seems to remember, but here at Bangtan, we pride ourselves on service and experience. And young man, let me tell you, nothing brings down the ratings faster than a stalker.”

Taehyung slapped the menu down and whirled to face the judging eyes of a rather rotund gentleman. Crap. This had got to be the owner. Hoseok warned him about the guy.

“Would you believe me if I swore I'm not a creeper?”

Taehyung puppy dog eyes engaged.

“You're going to have to try a little harder than that, son.” The man’s face remained impassive.

Taehyung found himself floundering for a moment at this stranger who had withstood the full exposure to his eyes without budging. Oh, hell, whatever. He had never been the type to follow a plan. Flying by the seat of his pants was his talent, so before could second guess himself, he grabbed the man’s arm and tugged him to sit down beside him.

“Alright. Look. My best friend is on a one track road for man-spinsterdom, and I just got this tingling sense that that guy over there is the one, that one , you know. He can change it all for my buddy.”

The man eyes furrowed as he gazed at Taehyung’s very serious face. “Son, whatever you're taking, I'm sure there's help for you… out there, somewhere else, hopefully far from here.”

“No listen, okay? That guy is single. My friend is single. It's all good. I’m just trying to scout out the situation, you know, to be sure it all gels.”

“I feel like you don't fully comprehend the word ‘stalker.’”

“It's not stalking, not really, I don't follow him home or anything like that.”

“Well, that makes it perfectly fine, then.”

“Right?”

“No! What the hell is your problem, kid?”

“True love, man, true love is my problem.”

The man’s mouth hung open as he tried and failed to respond to that statement.

Finally, he just sort of slumped forward and let his head fall to his hands, elbows resting on the table. His entire body was the the epitome of utter defeat.

Taehyung leaned forward as the man started mumbling to himself, voice muffled by his own hands. All the young man could catch was something along the lines of, “... knew he was trouble… but no, you just just had to invite in the crazy, didn’t you, Si Hyuk? Now it’s multiplying… crazy attracts crazy… we were a well respected establishment once…”

Taehyung, who had been slowly leaning closer and closer to catch more of the muffled grumbling, was practically right next to the man’s ear when he couldn’t help but ask, “Why do you think he’s crazy?”

The poor owner nearly flew out of his chair when he felt the young man’s voice rumbling so close; he practically could still feel the guy’s phantom breath still on his ear. This was too god damn much.

“You know what? I don’t care. He’s a grown man, he can take care of himself. You want to be crazy together? Go right ahead. I wash my hands of this.” Si Hyuk made to leave this insanity, hopefully crazy wasn’t contagious.

Unfortunately, he found himself being held in place by a surprisingly firm grip.

“Wait, wait, wait. Okay, first I’m glad to hear you’re finally seeing things my way-”

“That’s really not what I said-”

“But you didn’t answer. Why do you think he’s crazy? Is it good crazy or bad crazy? I think Namjoon is crazy sometimes, but I still say he’s cool. You think they’re compatible crazy?”

“Kid,” Si Hyuk started slowly, like one talking down a dangerous animal, “I really think you should get some help.”

“Oh, hold on one second, are you the owner?”

“Will you leave if I answer that?”

“Yes?”

“Then, yes. I am the owner. Of this this coffee shop, of my growing regret in opening it, of my tired old soul who would really like for you to leave now.”

“Oh! So you know him don’t you?”

“What?”

“TPH over there, I heard you know him, like know him! Real name and everything.”

Si Hyuk’s eyes got a menacing gleam, “And who, may I ask, did you hear that from?”

“Your entire staff loves gossiping about you two, you know,” Taehyung said, thinking fast so as not to out his informant. Hoseok would kill him if he figured Taehyung was ratting him out, accidental or not.

“The traitors…” The man hissed to himself. For all that he complained about crazy people, Taehyung wondered if Si Hyuk was aware he wasn’t exactly the poster child for sanity.

“Anyway, forget your staff. Back to our little issue, I’m going to assume you know him pretty well, then.”

“Okay, first, there’s no ‘our’ anything. Second, I don’t like where this is going.”

“So, you can probably guess his preferences.”

“I really don’t like where this is going.”

“So, you can definitely vet his suitor for him!”

“No. Nope. What-”

“So, to show that I have the best intentions at heart, I’ll let you talk to my buddy first, and then when you okay it, we can proceed with the plan.”

“Wait, what? What plan? I’m not part of any plans!”

Taehyung clasped the Si Hyuk’s hands in his before the man could flail around too much. He held them gently but firmly in between his own, running his thumb over them, as he stared deep into the owner’s wide eyes.

“I’m just going to lay it straight for you, it’s obvious you care about the guy. Otherwise, why make such an effort to maintain his anonymity. And, really, I’ve met the guy like twice, and even I can tell he’s got baggage. And no way a guy like that would still be on the market unless it’s intentional. I mean, I’m not going to lie, he works the happy thing well, but I’m good at noticing things, and that is not a happy dude.”

“I am extremely uncomfortable with both this conversation and how intimate our positions are right now. I don’t think we’re at the hand holding point of this relationship. We really shouldn’t even be at the talking point.”

Taehyung plowed on as if Si Hyuk hadn’t said anything, “Don’t you want him to be happy? Give him a chance to meet someone to drag him out of whatever slump he’s in that he has trouble even telling his favorite coffee shop his name?”

Bang Si Hyuk had several retorts lined up to toss in this loon’s face, but something held him back. Maybe crazy really was contagious.

Taking the man’s silence as acquiescence, Taehyung took the chance to lay it on thick, “I’m not saying it’s a guarantee, but I really think my friend could be a good match. He’s smart, he’s ambitious, he’s tall, he’s good looking-”

“And a bachelor?”

“It sounds horrible, but I really mean it when I say, he just hasn’t found the right one.”

“You’re right. That does sound horrible.”

“Look, you vet, you okay, they meet. They either hit it off and everyone is happy or they split. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“Huh.” Si Hyuk chose to ignore the floodgate of memories attesting to just exactly how bad things could get, but once again, against his better judgement, he didn’t disagree.

Half an hour later, Si Hyuk found himself nodding along to a madman’s schemes. He glanced to the seat Seokjin had vacated earlier. The brat was doing better, he had to admit, but things seemed to be at a standstill.

Something needed to change. Si Hyuk doubted this would help much, but a change of pace might just be the thing to push him in the right direction.

Or push him off the edge.

Either way, it would be better than this stagnation.

Who knows, maybe this lunatic might be onto something.

Like the guy said, what’s the worst that can happen?

Si Hyuk worked hard to ignore a foreboding tingle up his spine.

He sighed, completely giving up on following the young man’s jabbering. Si Hyuk just wanted to be a simple coffee shop owner.

Where did it all go wrong?

+++

Journal Entry 7

May 5, 2013

I gave it a day. Mostly because I'm an idiot, which has already been established, and have no idea what to say.

I tried calling a few times today.

He didn't answer. I'm disappointed but can't say I'm surprised.

Fuck.

I'm leaving him some texts. Hope he answers.

Fuck.

+++

He was a man on a mission.

Taehyung could feel Namjoon’s glare on the side of his face, but he aggressively ignored it. If he didn't do it, no one would, and Namjoon was going to end up hunchbacked, overweight, balding and alone. Well, maybe not all those things, but two out of four was a safe bet.

After the first few questions, which Taehyung ignored because Namjoon had a very good record for talking Taehyung out of his better ideas, he decided it was for the greater good of everyone involved if he just pulled a Transporter and quietly hauled the cargo to the destination.

He may have accidentally giggled out loud at mentally labeling Namjoon as cargo, which unfortunately resulted in Namjoon giving him a very dubious, very worried look. He stopped himself from commenting and making things worse when his passenger began eyeing the door handle with some intensity.

Yeah, just step on the gas, Tae. You got this.

Si Hyuk had okayed the meeting provided that it was after hours, so as not to interfere with his work, and that Taehyung was not present, which was mostly for the owner’s blood pressure.

Thankfully it wasn't a long drive, and as Taehyung pulled up in front of the shop, he put the car in park and reached across Namjoon to pop the door open for him.

“Okay, out.”

“Out where? Why? What the fuck, Tae,” Namjoon asked, a little wild-eyed. He stubbornly kept his seatbelt on, even as the door swung wide open.

“Namjoon, just go into that coffee shop, right there. Trust me, buddy.”

Namjoon did that thing where he jutted his jaw out. It was something he always did when he was at a loss for words but rearing for a fight, so Taehyung headed it off, “Look, I kind of have someone I think you could should meet, but I’m only like 50/50 on this. Consider this, like, an interview.”

“Tae,” Namjoon’s voice was a distinctly fake sort of calm, “it’s ass o’clock at night, I’ve just had a long ass day, why in the hell would I want to fucking have a fucking interview for a fucking date with some random ass person I’ve never fucking met?”

Taehyung opened his mouth to answer but closed it again with a click. Before Namjoon could start another rant, he realized a shadow had fallen over him and nearly gave himself whiplash when he twisted around to face the open door.

He felt his heart practically dance its way out of his chest as he took in the sight of the older and larger man leaning on the open car door.

“So,” the man drawled, “I'm going to go out on a limb and say your buddy just kidnapped you into this whole deal. Why am I not surprised?”

“Actually, it’s not kidnapping. He came of his own volition.”

“You told me we were getting coffee.”

“Which is technically true.”

“I'm going to kill you, Tae. And I'm going to burn you and put your fucking ashes behind the TV so you will always hear your favorite show but never see it.”

“Dude. That's really fucked up.”

“I know.”

The man cleared his throat and waited for the bickering duo to look at him before saying, “Not that I want to interrupt your little bonding session here, but it’s late and the quicker we get this over with the quicker I get to go home and hit the liquor.”

He pointed at Namjoon, “You, out of the car. I made us some coffee, and it’s getting cold.”

Then, he pointed with much more emphasis at Taehyung, “And you , shoo. I don’t care where. I don’t want to see you until this is over. He’ll give you a ring. Now chop chop.”

With no other choice, and honestly, between the two, the strange man at least sounded like he half-way made some sense, Namjoon finally unbuckled and stepped out the car.

“Play nice you two!” Taehyung waved, but before he could say anything more obnoxious, the man slammed the door shut and ushered Namjoon off to the shop. Neither of them looked back.

Once inside, Namjoon had to admit it was a quaint little place and had the circumstances been different, he may have decided this was a new regular spot. As it was though, Namjoon just felt the weight of the situation hang awkwardly over the entire shop. He needed better friends.

It was easy to find his seat, or rather, his stool by the cafe bar. A steaming cup of rather delicious coffee marked the spot. He headed straight for it, figuring the man was right and getting this, whatever this was, over and done with was the best option for everyone involved.

Also, figuring that he deserved it, considering the night he was having, Namjoon took a big sip from the cup. He was pleasantly surprised by the kick of the after taste.

“Good, right?” the man asked, looking pleased for the first time that evening. “It’s the cayenne. Gives it that extra kick. My nephew thought I was crazy for making spicy coffee, but what does that idiot know.”

“Yeah. It’s delicious.”

“Good. Now, let’s get down to business. Was I right to assume you have no idea what is happening?”

“You got that one right on the head.”

“Well, this is extra awkward then. Give me one second.” He went behind the counter and returned with a flask. He uncorked it and pretty much upended the thing into his own coffee, before noticing Namjoon staring. “Want some?”

“Maybe it would be better if one of us is sober.”

“Your loss,” he said and proceeded to empty the flask into the now extremely alcoholic coffee.

“If you don’t mind me asking, who are you?”

“The name is Bang Si Hyuk. I own this place.”

“So that really tells me nothing. How do you know Tae?”

“He wandered into my shop to stalk one of my regulars.”

“Oh, my god. Are you pressing charges? Is this a legal thing? Fuck, I knew it was only a matter of time.”

“Well, those are all good questions. I really should be pressing charges, shouldn’t I? But no, insanity is rampant in these parts, and your buddy there has got a plot set out for you.”

“What?”

“He wants to set you up with my regular.”

Namjoon stared at the man. “And you’re okay with this?”

“Not really, but I figured it was best to placate the bastard before he talked my ear off.”

“I’m so sorry about him. We try to keep him away from the regular folks.”

“Yeah. But the thing is, even half listening to him, I’ve got to admit, the man can make a point.”

“What?”

“The poor idiot really needs to get back on the horse. I mean, it’s been almost a year. He needs to start getting out of his comfort zone. Go out and see the world. Too busy living in the past is what I say.”

“Wait, are you talking about your regular? You actually want me to go out with this… wait, you said ‘he’? Your regular is a man?”

“Yes. Is this going to be a problem?”

“No? But that’s surprisingly progressive of you.”

“Well, whoop-dee-do.”

“No, but what the fuck? You want me to go out with this random guy? You don’t even know me! What about him? Why the hell am I even talking to you?”

“First, it’s not you specifically. I just think it’s about time he goes out with someone; anyone, really. Or at least give it a try. And since your friend conveniently volunteered you, I figured why not. You’re talking to me because, again, your friend, the root of all our problems, thought it was best if I vetted you, since apparently the rumor mill has indicated that I am someone with the authority to do that, but really, I don’t care.”

“Do I have any say in this?”

“Not really. He’s your friend, and between the two of us, I figure you would be making it much easier on yourself if you just went along with it.”

“What about the guy? Does he have any say?”

“Actually, yes. He doesn’t know about this, so it’s all up to you. If he turns you down, then it’s a bust. And we can all go back to our regular lives. Honestly, that’s probably the best case scenario.”

Namjoon stared at the Si Hyuk. He couldn’t believe this was his life. He wished someone was there to vet his friends back in college. Maybe he really ought to kill Tae. It’d be for the greater good of the world.

He sighed, defeated. Looking at his cup of coffee, he sighed again. “I don’t suppose you have anymore of whatever it was you had in the flask.”

Instead of answering, Si Hyuk heaved off his seat and went behind the counters again. This time he came back with two flasks.

Namjoon raised an eyebrow. “You guys have a liquor license?”

“We don’t serve alcohol.”

“Then what the hell is this?”

“This is what I call my Pest Stash. I’ve had it ever since the pain in the ass started coming in, and when your buddy popped by the other day, I knew it was time to restock. Personal use only.”

“Smart man.”

“Pragmatic.”

“You mind if I take it straight.”

“Go ahead. You might need it.”

“Thanks.”

+++

Journal Entry 8

May 6, 2013

So.

We have good news, and we have bad news.

Good news: he finally replied. I got a text after I low key blew up his phone.

Bad news: he said I didn't have anything to apologize for and that he was going to be out of town for a few days for work, and that he'll be out of touch because of bad signal or something.

I'm pretty sure that's a loud and clear give me space if there ever was one.

WHY WON’T HE JUST ACCEPT MY APOLOGY!

He sucks.

I suck more.

+++

Namjoon, despite his reluctance, found himself sitting in the cafe the following Sunday. Apparently, Si Hyuk had called Tae who called Namjoon five minutes before he drove by and all but hauled Namjoon off.

At least they served decent coffee here. He was rather frazzled; it was ass in the morning, and this was the one day he usually spoiled himself with a sleep-in, but not today. No, the combined force of Bang Si Hyuk and Kim Taehyung was wreaking havoc on his peaceful, organized existence. Well, once this blows up in their collective faces, he will take his sweet time in commencing with the mocking. They deserved all that he was going to send their way.

Namjoon didn't even bother dressing properly. Why put any effort into this farce? When Taehyung was banging on his apartment door, he was still stumbling around and just threw a dark sweater over his sleepwear and a cap on to cover his bed hair. The judgmental look he got from the fucker didn't help his mood at all, considering it was his fault Namjoon was even in this mess.

Regardless, he was now slouched down in one of the corner benches, trying his damned hardest to look unapproachable.

It was a slower morning and there were only one or two other patrons in the shop.

Bang Si Hyuk was standing behind the counter talking to a young man who looked just as miserable to be awake as Namjoon felt. Also, the guys looked like he put about half as much effort into his outfit as Namjoon did.

Clearly, this was a kindred spirit.

He sighed. It was a drag waiting for his boiling hot coffee to cool enough to drink. Per his order, he wanted the thing scalding enough to burn through the sleep haze.

He was just scrolling through his phone when the door chimed and a tall figure walked in. At the time, he was only vaguely aware of a whole lot of beige ambling across the room, more focused on reorganizing his playlist. But out of nowhere, Si Hyuk let out a tremendous bellow that sent everyone in the shop jumping.

“If I hear one more god damned pun-”

And then a squeaky sound cut the raging man’s tirade off. It took Namjoon a few seconds to place the sound as laughter and that the laughter was coming from the figure in an oversized beige sweater standing by the counter. He couldn't hear the customer’s response, but even from where he was sitting, he felt rather than saw exasperation from the owner.

Of course, that was when Si Hyuk looked his way and winked, tilting his head slightly at the newcomer.

Really?

This was the guy?

Sure, Namjoon wasn't expecting much, but from the last conversation with the other man, he had assumed the ‘target’ was someone he cared for more than he was willing to say. Now it seemed more like the man couldn't stand him. Or would much rather be wringing his neck.

Also, he couldn't see the guy’s face from where he was sitting, but the ridiculously giant sweatshirt was throwing him off.

Whatever. Best get this over and done with so he could say he tried and then focus his efforts on more important things, like getting his revenge. Taehyung was going to pay for dragging him into this mess.

Namjoon shoved his phone into his pocket and picked up his coffee, careful not to burn himself on the heat of the cup. Damn, he really should pay more attention to how he phrased his orders here, that is, if he ever decided to come back.

Chances of that were pretty darn slim at the moment.

He made his way over to the bar seating by the register and dropped onto one of the stools with a small huff. Namjoon was just setting down the cup, ignoring the raised eyebrow of the young man behind the counter, when he saw Sweatshirt Guy pick up his order.

He watched Sweatshirt turn toward him, his eyes on the man’s drink, some kind of icy sugary concoction that he would hardly call coffee, as the other man raised it to his lips. His eyes followed the drink upwards to the face and-

Oh.

Oh, no.

Oh, fuck, the guy was cute.

Oh, crap.

He wasn't ready. Nope. No. Oh, god. Fuck! Fuck Taehyung! Fuck Si Hyuk! Why did nobody warn him?

No. Those lips were obscene! Who let this man out in public. Shit! Sweatshirt still had a hint of a smirk on his face as he held the straw between his teeth, and-

“Hey, man. Just letting you know you look fucking stupid with your mouth hanging open like that,” said the guy behind the counter, snapping Namjoon out of his small freak-out.

He whirled toward the barista and stared at him instead.

“You alright, there?” the barista asked. “Actually, don't answer that. I don't really care.”

After a moment of disbelief, Namjoon narrowed his eyes at the guy. His name tag read ‘Yoongi’.

“Yoongi, is it? You always talk to your customers like that?”

“Only when they're being pathetic losers.”

Namjoon opened and closed his mouth a few times, before he gathered himself enough to ask, “What happened to valuing the experience here?”

“I let you know you looked dumb, didn't I? Not everyone would bother with the effort. Also, first class experience doesn't equal first class service.”

“How does that make any sense?”

“Experience means memory. We’re memorable.”

“I call bullshit.”

“You would be correct,” the barista deadpanned and pulled out his phone, apparently losing interest in the conversation.

“What?”

“That was all bullshit. Truth is I don't give enough fucks to be polite.”

“You know, honesty is not always the best policy.”

Yoongi just shrugged, eyes not leaving the phone screen.

And this goes to show that Namjoon was a horrible judge of character. He honestly thought this punk was a kindred spirit for a moment this morning.

“Is Yoongi giving you a hard time?” a soft voice came from close beside him. He jumped slightly and whipped around to look.

Oh, shit.

It was Sweatshirt. Oh, fuck.

“You should play nice with the newbies, Yoongi. How are you going to get repeats?”

“Last time Boss played nice, we got stuck with you as a regular.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Not a compliment.”

“It's a matter of perspective.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me and you know it. Everyone loves me.”

Yoongi gave a squinty-eyed glare at the man and turned to Namjoon, “This was the idiot you were checking out. Consider this me judging your poor taste in men.”

Namjoon felt his face flush and just raised his coffee to his face for a lack of a better thing to do, when he felt the warm weight of a hand on his shoulder.

He looked over and found Sweatshirt leaning close.

“Aw, don't let that grouch get to you. If it makes you feel any better, I can't blame you for looking. I would check me out any day.”

He followed that up with a wink.

And then Namjoon, instead of taking a sip like he intended, proceeded to pour the entirety of the still (amazingly) hot coffee onto his own lap.

He was not ashamed to say he let out a blood-curdling scream.

There were too many other things to be ashamed of in the chaos following the initial disaster. A startled customer kicked over a table and the tell tale crash of plates filled the air, Si Hyuk all but flew to the back for first aid, and Namjoon had knocked over an entire row of stools in his hurry to stand and slap off the excess fiery liquid.

Of course, Yoongi was recording the whole thing.

Much later, the shop was empty except for Si Hyuk, Yoongi, and Namjoon, who were all seated at the corner bench. Namjoon was holding two ice packs on his lap.

A hastily written sign taped on the door read, ‘Closed for emergency.’

The silence was overwhelming, until Si Hyuk finally broke it, “How the fuck?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon mumbled.

“No, how? What the fuck?”

“I know.”

“My shop is a mess.”

“I'm in pain.”

“What. The. Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

Yoongi, eyes still glued to his phone, which had been out since the start of this mess, decided to add, “Just so you know, this is going on instagram.”

“Yoongi, no,” Si Hyuk sighed.

“Yoongi, yes.”

Special thanks to allourheroes and dharyism for reading over!

#bts #bangtan #bts fic #namjin #yoonseok #jikook #sope #kookmin #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #my fanfic #myfanfic #beyond the scene #fic: coming apart on top of you

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smoothshift · 7 years ago

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[X-post from /r/Subaru] I test drove a Focus RS and wrote up a comparison to my 08 STi hatch via /r/cars

[X-post from /r/Subaru] I test drove a Focus RS and wrote up a comparison to my 08 STi hatch

So, given that Subaru has given little evidence that we're going to be getting an STi in hatch form again anytime soon, combined with the fact that my car is closing in on ten years old (08 Hatch STi), I've started to extend my search beyond the brand. As you all know, the selection of 300+ hp AWD hatches with a stick is pretty slim these days, so last night I went over to [Redacted] Ford and test drove a 2017 Focus RS.

In order to make this as honest and as unbiased as possible, I need to start off by saying the RS really is a fantastic car, in a way. Specifically, if the entire point of a car is to stick to the road like glue, corner with 100% confidence, and get into it’s potential power as soon as possible, the RS does it better than anything else I’ve driven that’s intended to be a livable daily driver with some cargo space. Also, had I not been comparing it to my STi, I think I would have been sold on it, albeit at a slightly lower price point.

My test drive went fantastically. I got plenty of starts and stops, some good highway time, and a few turns that I could pull pretty tight, or as much as is possible with a sales woman in the back seat. The absolute stand out features of the car, at least compared to my STi are the Recaro seats that feel fantastic, the car gets into boost far earlier and with less effort, and it pulls into corners in a way that at first is “unnatural” because it feels so easy, and with so little of the expected feedback (stepping out, tire squeal, etc.).

It’s no secret that the STi seats, at least in the 08s, are nothing special. Compared to it’s main rival at the time, the EVO, the STi has never scored too well in keeping the driver in place. I’m about 6’, with broad shoulders but a fairly slim torso, and the STi has far too much space where you’d expect decent lateral support. The RS is the exact opposite, with all sorts of adjustability and side supports that let me really hunker down into position. One thing to note, I sat a little higher off the floor than I would have liked, even at the lowest setting, and at that point I was probably ~3 inches closer as far as head room goes than I would have been in the STi, which resulted in less of a “low sporty” feeling than I was looking for. That said, the seats were still a win.

I didn’t lead with this, but power delivery was probably my favorite thing about the car. For the sake of comparison, my STi has a stock turbo setup, but with a Perrin intake, Turbo XS down pipe, cat delete, and I believe an Invidia muffler, with an Accessport running a 93 octane tune. I’d say my car feels like it’s getting into the boost around 3k, and really doesn’t hit peak until closer to 3.75-4k. When it does get there, it’s with a surge, and holding the throttle on the mark basically gives you the option of letting off and going back into a bit of a “dogging it” mode, or digging deeper and really getting a power boost. I wasn’t paying super close attention to the tach so I can’t speak to exact numbers on the Focus, but I barely noticed the lull between the point where I’d pull away from a stop, to where the car felt that it was fully in the boost and ready to move. I’ve yet to drive a newer WRX with the FA20 and the twin scroll setup, or any car with a twin scroll turbo for that matter, and I imagine this has a lot to do with that feel. I’m looking forward to test driving a WRX to make that comparison.

The last truly stand out feature of the car was it’s stability in the corners. Now, when I first got into my STi, it was by far the best handling car I had ever driven. I didn’t necessarily have much to compare it to, but being able to sling it into corners and have it perfectly follow my intentions, as well as power heavily out of a corner without fear because the drivetrain would sort out the issues inspired a ton of confidence. 6 years down the line, I’m far more aware of it’s idiosyncrasies and its (admittedly, few) flaws, but its still a confidence inspiring car, even more so once your familiar with those properties.

The Focus RS takes those flaws, and while I hate to admit it, moves into an entirely different league. Now, again, I haven’t driven a current generation STi or WRX, but I know significant chassis/suspension upgrades have been made to alleviate issues that my generation had. That said, I’ll be quite impressed if the newer Subes provide the same handling characteristics the RS does, with the same lack of argument. The Focus was so smooth through the corners, and it didn’t squeal, it didn’t feel like it was on the edge. Again, I’m doing a test drive with a sale woman in the back, so I’m not going to rip through the streets of [City Redacted] like I’m trying to make Gymkhana 14 or anything, but it was obvious there was so much more potential in the grip if you wanted/needed it. Obviously there’s a lot of other pieces that go into this, the seats again being a huge factor in the overall feel of the roll of the car, but even if they weren’t there I’m sure I’d sing its stability praises.

All that said, I do have a few complaints. I’ll start at my toes and move up, beginning with the clutch. I have a 5 speed Fiat 500 as well, that had a factory recall that removed a clutch assist spring. Prior to the maintenance, the clutch pedal had this foreign (to me) non linear engagement that felt unnecessarily long, like the first 4 inches of travel were heavy and meaningless, which then led to a super soft, touchy space down to the floor. This is in direct contradiction to the Subaru which is short, and basically feels exactly the same through it’s entire travel. The Focus was much more akin to the Fiat. It also had a catch point a lot closer to the floor than I expected, and didn’t really inspire the confidence to perform short clutch pedal engagement shifts like I can in the STi. Granted, this is probably something that would come on a bit with familiarity, but I was disappointed slightly at the onset. The gas pedal had a little side to side play, and wasn’t nearly as beefy as the STi. To make another comparison to my 500, the gas pedal is set too far over, and back from the brake pedal, and did not make for an easy heel-toe (or more accurately, left side of foot, right side of foot) throttle blip like the STi does. Again, something that probably comes with familiarity.

The shifter is weird. My buddy has a 2014 base model Focus, and the shifter was far more in line with that than the STi. It was certainly “notch-y”, but in a way that it felt like an after thought. In the STi, I feel like I could put 100lbs of force into a shift and never cause any issues, and every gate engagement feels like a very tuned experience. The RS’s engagement felt like a base model Focus shifter with some “engagement enhancing” bushings. Also, the shifter’s position on the floor and in its leather jacket makes it look short, but it feels a little “smoke and mirrors” as the actual throw wasn’t as short as I was expecting. For what it’s worth, my STi has the standard shifter throw, nothing shorter than stock.

Beyond that, I didn’t feel too strongly either way. Steering feedback felt on par with my STi. Lighter for sure, and the smaller, leather wrapped flat bottomed wheel felt good. I was surprised to lookup some stats to find that the RS is actually heavier than my car, again to reference the power delivery and handling feel, I would have believed you if you told me it was 300lbs lighter, and that was with three of us in it.

In terms of regular considerations when buying a car, the back seat space was almost exactly that of my STi (with less head room), and slightly less cargo area with the seats folded down, something I use weekly in the STi, and part of the reason I’m so anti-sedan these days. It had heated seats, heated steering wheel, Nav/Backup camera, and a bunch of other creature comforts. If it isn’t obvious, these items don’t really sell me on a car. They’re a nice afterthought, but my direct interface with the vehicle is my number one concern.

With that, I come to my main reason for taking the Focus off my list for consideration, at least for the time being. Despite it’s prowess in power delivery and handling, there’s a disconnect that isn’t present on my STi. Part of this is definitely due to the fact that my STi has modifications I’m super familiar with. It’s dropped on Cobb 3/8” springs, and the exhaust is to put it bluntly, loud as hell. However, its touchiness, its stiffness, the noise, combined with the better pedal and shifter feel, really make me feel like I’m directly influencing the car. While the Focus had zero latency in terms of driver inputs and its response, I felt like I was making suggestions, and the car was calculating the best output. Which I get it, we have superior technology to what we did 10 years ago, but I’m starting to feel like one of those old car guys we’re all doomed to become that begrudges the current automative offerings for “doing too much”, and not letting you drive the car. Again, if I wasn’t holding the car against mine I’d be far more interested, but I don’t want to lose the visceral experience I get with the STi. In the end, the RS felt like a Focus that was put through the German efficiency machine to throw down nasty lap times at the ring, but also be sellable to the modern driver who expects a German level amount of comfort, regardless of what it meant for muting the engagement for the driver inside. Meanwhile, to me, the STi feels like a car whose foundations and engineering decisions lay in a 400k WRC car, that was toned down to meet a civilian level price point and drivability.

The shifter is weird. My buddy has a 2014 base model Focus, and the shifter was far more in line with that than the STi. It was certainly “notch-y”, but in a way that it felt like an after thought. In the STi, I feel like I could put 100lbs of force into a shift and never cause any issues, and every gate engagement feels like a very tuned experience. The RS’s engagement felt like a base model Focus shifter with some “engagement enhancing” bushings. Also, the shifter’s position on the floor and in its leather jacket makes look short, but it feels a little “smoke and mirrors” as the actual throw wasn’t as short as I was expecting. For what it’s worth, my STi has the standard shifter throw, nothing shorter than stock.

That said, I can’t say enough nice things about the staff at [Redacted] Ford. I wasn’t pleased with the initial trade in offer I was given for the STi, and they were willing try and find a common ground. We all know that they don’t have a lot of issues moving these RS’s, which means there isn’t a ton of wiggle room in terms of bargaining, but they didn’t shut me down right away. I went in there with a professional attitude, and made it clear that I had very specific terms not only financially, but also specific characteristics I was looking for in the RS, and they returned that professional courtesy in spades. I might not be 100% ready to get rid of my STi, but that doesn’t mean I’ve totally written off an RS, it might just have to wait until I’m comfortable taking on the RS without a trade-in.

#reddit #autonews #auto #cars

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rojedir · 7 years ago

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So, much has been said about Netflix’s Castlevania in the last few days, including many positive things. And for good reason, the miniseries manages to deliver a decent adaptation of Konami’s franchise, while staying up as its own work. But that’s not hard, when you have Warren Ellis writing the stuff. Here goes a few random notes I took from the first four episodes. Spoilers as usual.

The first episode jumps straight into business by introducing the viewers to Dracula’s wife and the relationship that blooms after. That’s a much better move than just saving his reasons for flashback material (which would make the audience feel cheated) in later episodes. The linear narrative also fits better for shorter seasons, where we have to wait a whole year for more work.

It seems the series is going all in with using the stereotype that the Catholic Church was the evil organ through all the Middle Ages. While I was watching, I was wondering why there bishops, since Romania (present day Wallachia) is mostly Orthodox. But that’s a quirk that existed in the games too.

That whole goat talk at the inn was a pretty Warren Ellis conversation.

Heck, Trevor himself is a very Warren Ellis protagonist, with all the cynicism and at the same time, heroism that comes with it. Like Rick from Casablanca, when push comes to shove, we know Belmont is going to take on for the team, even though he looks more like a drunk in posh coats.

I though I wasn’t going to get used to Richard Armitage’s portrayal, but it fits Trevor really well. I’m a bit skeptical of screen actors picking the work of voice actors, it feels like the studios are employing them in part to bring some name to the works. But Armitage channels Trevor’s gruff skepticism easily.

It’s interesting how the series is already painting Dracula’s acts as being pure, uncensored evil. He’s such a prevalent character in pop culture it’s hard to get a feeling how his character’s really like in different adaptations, but I like how the series isn’t painting him as some romantic and troubled anti-hero. Alucard calls him out on it on episode 1: what he’s doing, it’s genocide.

The bishop is an interesting character. He’s this evil religious character, but unlike his fellows, he’s not doing it for the money or the influence or the prestige, just sheer zealotry. He believes in purifying the country by ridding it of what he considers bad. Kind of like how Dracula himself thinks.

A lot of these episodes seems to discredit this holier-than-thou arguments that both the bishop and Dracula have. While it celebrates flawed individuals who want to do good, like Trevor and Sypha.

And Sypha fights, that’s cool. The magic animation is sharp as well, incorporating it into hand movements instead of words is a good pick.

I think the direction’s lacking a bit. It feels a bit stuck, despite (what I imagine) is a healthy budget, decent staff and Ellis’s writing. It’s not the root of problems, but it could be better. Take the scene where Trevor is walking through the market, it could be different, more interesting, incorporating stuff only animation can do. And the editing of individual scenes is a bit iffy, not of themes or motifs, just the scenes themselves, sometimes they don’t flow into each other very well.

And the animation itself. Netflix is arguably a well-off studio, it could hire some more animators, or more skilled ones. It’s pretty clear where the money’s at, in fight sequences like the Cyclops in episode 2 or the dual in episode 4. While both are very good, the rest could be better. It’s not a question of budget, you can do a lot with basic framing, shot-reverse shot or the quadrant system. And it feels like, unfortunately, Castlevania ignores it.

But, kudos to the storyboard team, for making whip fights look cool as heck.

The designs themselves look sleek. And recognizable, in Alucard’s case. I didn’t like Trevor’s face on the beginning, but it grew on me, like a lot of his character.

“That’s what my mother would have wanted”, that’s nice, every character in this series has well defined wants and motivations, and the writing reinforces why they’re doing what they’re doing.

And that’s it. While there are many strenghts, and the team should be happy with it, there’s some things that leave me iffy about Castlevania. But all in all, it’s ok, and I’ll be definetely looking out for season 2.

#Castlevania #trevor belmont #sypha belnades #alucard #warren ellis #netflix #castlevania 2017 #wraith ramblings

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deadweightgaming · 8 years ago

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Army Thoughts 4 – Boromites

I’ll be honest, it’s the Boromites that got me into this game, pictures of the lavamites, and especially the lavamite brood mother captured my imagination, and I loved the idea of putting them down on the table! Unfortunately for them, I also loved the Ghar, and as the Brood Mother hadn’t been released at the time… I went with them. I’ll definitely be onto the Boromites when they are released in plastic.

It’s time for another Army Roundup, where I go through every unit available to a faction and discuss its strengths and weaknesses. I keep the chat fairly low level, in the hopes that new players can gain an understanding of the factions and what they’re about before committing their hard earned cash.

The Boromites are a group of mining clans, technically human, but bio engineered to deal with high temperatures and pressures, making them very hardy and durable. They make a great contrast to the sleek “high tech” feel the Concord have, or the alien aesthetic of the Isorians. The Boromites are hard workers, and everything about them screams “function before form”, many of their weapons are repurposed mining tools.

Playstyle

The Boromites lack the adaptive weapons of the Ghar or the Concord, instead focusing more on the melee aspect of the game. Many are armed with really heavy duty melee weapons like tractor mauls or lectro lashes. They also bring a few cool looking animals with them into battle, from the lavamites which are deadly in melee, to the brood mother, an absolutely massive hulking rock covered monster, armed to the teeth with more guns than anything else in the game. The boromites are a tough nut to crack, their rock encrusted skin stopping bullets as effectively as armour.

In general the Boromites trade reaction speed and agility for higher melee strength and command stats on their grunts that even Karg can’t even beat. What you get is an army that just won’t quit.

Unit Breakdown

The bulk of a Boromite army is made up of workers, who have laid down their mining tools to fight for the good of the guild. They don’t rely on a lot of fancy high tech equipment, instead their re-purposed mining equipment definitely has a “used aesthetic” feel to it.

As with the C3, I’ll cover Drone attachments, X launcher ammo in another post, and characters at the bottom. Though the Borer Drone is unique to the Boromites (and amazing)

Tactical:

There are 6 options available for the Boromites

Gang Fighter Squad

At just under 100 points for 5, they’re pretty your basic fighters, all armed with mag guns, which whilst not as great as the plasma carbines, can still make a large dent in the enemy. You can add up to 3 extra men and give them all plasma grenades for somewhere around 150 points, at which stage you have an elite force that can’t be ignored… In melee there won’t be much left standing when they’re done. The leader can be equipped with either a tractor maul or a lectro lash for a one man army. Their command stat is the highest in the game, to the point they could have 4 or 5 pins and still be relied upon to make those checks when required.

Work Gang

The other basic unit, around the same cost as the gang fighters for the same number of men, the work gangs have a little more flexibility in how you equip them. They can bring mass compactors, which whilst shorter range than the mag guns, are devastating at close range, or Heavy tractor mauls, which trade long range firepower for pulping an opponent in melee with 2 attacks with respectable SV each. For a small price you can give them implosion grenades, for even more close range oomph, or vorpal charges... which are basically one shot missiles that force whatever they hit to fail a RES check and if they don’t hit they become a wild card and a liability, but most of all they’re fun. On top of this they are the have access to the borer drone!

Overseer Squad

Your basic command squad, who costs as much for 3 men as the basic squads do for 5. This is because of the usual command and follow rules he brings! You can use him to start mass assaults with several units at once, and use his superior command stat to keep them in the fight longer. Interestingly, they’re one of the only units that can take a spotter drone, making them useful for granting LoS to larger weapon teams. By giving the leader a tractor maul or a lectro lash, like all Boromites, they’re pretty decent in melee too.

Rock Father

When I see this unit, all I can think is “tank”. 50% more expensive than the basic work or fighter gangs, he comes with two extra troops and 2 shield drones, and then he can take 2 more on top. The Shield drones let him block hits, meaning it can take quite a lot of shots to take him out. He comes with a tractor maul or lectro lash as is standard for top tier Boromites, but can also be given a plasma carbine, letting him contribute to the ranged fight too. A full squad of 5, with 4 shield drones sets you back around 250 points, but you simply won’t get him off an objective for a few turns. And then on top of all of this, he brings the command and follow rules to the table! Simply amazing. Personally I think it looks a little goofy, but you can’t argue with stats!

Boromite Lavamites

A very interesting unit, unlike anything I’ve covered before in these posts. They are a fully dedicated melee unit at an incredibly cheap cost. The handler is essential, as without him the boromites will quickly dissolve into chaos given their low command stat. The standard unit comes in a pack of 3, with a handler, but you can take 2 more, then add on a number of hatchling swarms on top. The lavamites themselves are tough to kill, harder to kill than even Boromites are, hatchlings slightly less so, but still pretty damned durable. With their acid sprays and several attacks each in melee, they are not something the enemy can ignore. Upgrading to rockbroods is a steal, rapid sprint means they can usually reach an unwary enemy at the end of turn 1, or near the start of turn 2. Because charges don’t have to be linear, the extra distance gives you plenty of wiggle room for blocking LoS on the turn before too! Though remember that a squad always moves at the speed of its slowest member... So give the leader a suspensor platform! As an extra bonus each lavamite comes with an additional attack, with a higher SV too! Nasty. 2 squads of these can give you some really great threat ranges your opponent can’t ignore.

Boromite Matriarch

Your other choice for a command unit, the matriarch is comparable to the NuHu C3 and Isorians have access to, namely being a pair of models supported by a lot of drones. She can take up to 4 weapon drones, which are armed with plasma carbines, giving her respectable firepower along with 2 spotter drones and 2 shield drones. The only warning here is that she pretty much will have to take all the hits herself (though the guildless also has leader!), as drones typically cannot be allocated to. The 2 shield drones can help, but as with most cases, they only go so far and are better saved for the big, nasty shots.

All those drones start pushing the cost right up. Her suspensor platform pushes her up to scary speeds with a sprint... But given the unit has to move at the slowest member’s speed (the guildless) there’s not much that can be done. Bringing all her drones ups her cost from roughly 140 points to 200. Remember you can’t take the rock father and the matriarch in the same list.

Support

The Boromites have 4 support choices

Boromite Support Team

Really cheap, at around 40 points to start with, they come armed with either an X launcher or a mag light. Given their position as a back line support unit its unsurprising that they lack some of the armour of other Boromite squads, though you can give them armour if you wish. They can also take a mag cannon or the devastating frag borer. I’ve split each potential configuration out:

X Launcher: The basic weapon great for digging units out of cover, and the fact it’s basically a mortar means LoS isn’t too much of an issue, especially with spotter drones around. You can take a variety of ammo types, which can convert this to a support piece, or even reliable suppression of hard to kill enemy squads.

Mag Light: The other basic load out, this relatively long range piece is just a nice way of throwing out some decent shots for taking down moderately armoured foes. It’s RF 3, so for bargain basement prices you get 3 shots.

Mag Cannon: The Mag light’s big brother, this costs a little more that trades rapid fire for incredible armour piercing shots. This is the perfect gun for taking out vehicles or heavy drones.

Frag Borer: This will double the cost of the team, in return you get this beast of a weapon. Every time this gun hits, the SV goes up, making it ideal for taking out heavily armoured opposition.

Boromite Specialist Support Team

The big brother of the support team, is 50% more expensive at base price, in return for letting them bring plasma weapons, which are slightly better than their mag equivalents.

Plasma light Support: Pretty much exactly the same as the Mag Light, except with a higher SV. Worth the extra points cost? Possibly, it lets you pin some of the heavier vehicles at least.

Plasma Cannon: For a few points more you can bring this, the next stage up from the Mag Cannon, it has a higher SV, but swaps “Massive Damage” which makes the Mag Cannon great vs larger targets for plasma fade?

Boromite Rock Rider Overseer Squad

The Boromite Cavalry! Three mounted on heavily armoured beasts called Locomites. They come armed with plasma carbines as standard, but that’s not the reason you bring them… The reason for that is the melee potential. They cost quite a lot for 3 troops, and if you give them lectro lances (and why wouldn’t you) you’re looking at a 150 point investment. But their rapid sprint rule, and the fact their mounts also get a melee attack means that these can get up the field fast, and destroy all but the most heavily armoured models with ease. You’re required to take the overseer squad before you can take more than 1 of the standard Rock Riders, though they come with the usual command and follow rules to help support your army, but given how fast they are, it might not see much use.

Boromite Rock Rider Squad

Pretty much exactly the same as the overseers above, except a little cheaper at just over 100 points with lectro lances. Everything that applies to the Overseers applies here, a fast melee force to be reckoned with! My print of the book says you need the command before taking any RR. But other similar options need the command to take more than 1.

Strategic

The Boromites have 4 strategic options available to them.

Brood Mother

I really wanted to start with this beast first. At over 250 points she’s a huge investment, and her actual price is pretty steep too (if justifiably). In return you get the largest model currently in the game, and definitely one of the coolest! At her base cost she’s a walking weapon platform, as heavily armoured as the heaviest of vehicles and drones, armed with 4 mag light supports. These guns combined with the fact she’s MOD2 means you could put out 24 shots a turn! The downside is that she’s incredibly slow… Don’t expect her to be running up the table with any real speed. Another great reason to take the brood mother is that she’s pretty much the only way Boromites get access to the excellent batter drone. If you combined her high RES with reducing the enemies accuracy, she simply won’t quit. You can also give her some lavamite hatchlings at a relatively cheap price, which at least lets you distribute hits to squisher targets, making sure that mag cannon doesn’t get a lucky shot on your biggest model. On top of that, for a reasonable points cost you can swap out a mag light for a mag heavy, or a heavy mag.

Just watch out... even a net ammo shot that deviates is still likely to land on her! Use a reaction to run or simply go down. As it stands, there’s no penalty for a deviating shot, so you’ll pretty much be taking the pins regardless, and given her RES stat, pinning her out of the game is the easiest way of taking her down.

Heavy Support Team

About double the price of the basic support team, this team can take a variety of weapon options, which I have broken down below. The thing to remember is that these are pretty slow, though their long range tends to compensate for that:

Mag Heavy: The basic option, the next stag up from a mag light, increased the Rapid Fire from 3 to 5 and a small increase in SV. This lets the Boromites shred a pesky unit of C3 drones, or put a dent in some scutters in a relatively inexpensive way.

Heavy Mag: The upgrade of the Mag Cannon, with a longer range and higher SV, because sometimes you absolutely need to make sure something dies. This costs a few more points than the Mag heavy.

Mag Mortar: A relatively cheap way on being able to toss out OH templates. It’s able to take a wide variety of ammo types, but is comparatively short range compared to the howitzer. Absolutely amazing at shredding light infantry. Of course, if you give it net ammo, it can take out absolutely anything...

X Howitzer: Trades the double OH templates of the Mortar for impressively long ranges. Have you ever needed to throw out shots 250” (20ft) in a game typically played on a 6x4ft table? Then this gun is for you! Most of the ranges on it seem to be more for fluff than anything else, but if you ever decide to use your local sports hall as a battlefield, bring one of these.

Heavy Frag Borer: The iconic weapon for the Boromites, its similar to the typical Frag borer in that every time it hits, the SV goes up, and its not too shabby to begin with, the only downside is that its quite expensive, pushing unit costs to about 120.

Boromite Hauler

The first of the Boromite vehicles, costing a little over 150 points, for which you get a MOD 2 vehicle with pretty decent armour that can carry a squad or two, which makes it great for delivering the more melee focused units to the front line intact. It comes with two Mag Lights for some decent firepower, though these can be upgraded to mag cannons if necessary. If you throw in some shield drones and the batter drones, you get a very, very hard to kill model that puts a brick wall in front of your opponent and says “deal with it”

Boromite Heavy Hauler

Almost twice as expensive as the standard Hauler, this gains an extra action a turn and even more armour, at the cost of moving at half speed. As a transporter, the other hauler is probably a better option, but as a weapons platform goes, this is impressive. It comes with a Mag Heavy as standard, letting you put out 15 shots a turn! But you can upgrade this for a few extra points, in fact, it can use exactly the same guns as the Heavy Support team, which one exception, the compression bombard! This gun alone costs almost 50 points, but as with all compression weapons, it gets strong the closer you are to an enemy. Luckily, this gun is long range enough that on a standard board it will always been hitting at SV 9.

Auxiliary

The Boromites have 3 auxiliary units available to them.

Engineer Squad

A slightly odd unit, at about 40 points they’re relatively cheap, and give you an easy way of providing a batter drone shield, pushing units into the “ridiculously hard to kill” territory. At base cost they don’t come with much, not even a plasma pistol, so its definitely worth giving them *something* They can also take implosion grenades, the usual assortment of melee weapons or vorpal charges, turning them into a wrecking ball! They’re a nice little filler, use them as sappers to deny your enemy cover. The real reason to take them however, is to complement the large number of support choices Boromites can take, shaving a few extra pins off to make sure you can keep your edge.

Micromite Probe Shard

Boromite targeter probes. They’re cheap, a little slower than other drones but are a nice way of giving your army an extra accuracy buff. Boromies pack a lot of single shot, high pow weaponry, so this gives you something to mitigate the downsides. They cost the same as other probe shards due to their higher than usual RES.

Scout Probe Shard

These don’t do much, other than offering a flexible way of patching for OH fire. It would save you putting a spotter drone in lots of units, but you’d lose your reroll.

- Characters to be added later

#Gates of Antares #Boromites #Thoughts

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parentingguide8-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Richard Shorter – Courageous Parenting – Webinar Re-Cap - Soccer Parenting Association

New Post has been published on https://parentinguideto.com/trending/richard-shorter-courageous-parenting-webinar-re-cap-soccer-parenting-association/

Richard Shorter – Courageous Parenting – Webinar Re-Cap - Soccer Parenting Association

Richard Shorter, the Non-Perfect Dad, is a sport parent educator and church pastor. We dove in deep to parenting, youth soccer culture, the coach relationship, sideline behavior and much more in our hour long conversation. You can find the entire interview at the (membership required @ $4.99/month or $47.00 year).

Below are a few video clips and the corresponding transcript – of our conversation!

Richard:

When I looked at other parenting coaches, everyone all kind of had that perfect family picture, and look at me, I’m a parenting coach and my life’s sorted. And I just couldn’t with any authenticity put my name to that kind of brand.

I’m a dad, life is messy, I sometimes shout at my kids and I wish I didn’t. I’m sometimes more tired than I should be to have proper engagement with them. I think I’ve got good rhythms and good stuff. I think I am at times a great dad as well, but I’m certainly not a perfect dad.

And I think one thing that could really help us parents, is if we could just free ourselves of that myth of parental perfection. Particularly in the sport’s journey. Sport’s journeys really emotional, my eldest son plays rugby at a pretty decent standard and it’s not easy, it’s a really emotional journey for us parents. We’re not going to get that emotional rollercoaster right all the time and so let’s just ditch the perfect stuff, let’s just try and be honest, try and be a bit vulnerable, try and work out where our strengths are in that and play to that.

Richard:

I think we need to be really careful about how we talk about other adults in front of our children. I am often just flabbergasted at how parents moan and put down coaches and things like that in front of their children. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with teaching our children to be critical in a … not in a suspicious, negative way, but kind of saying, “Okay, what was good about that environment you were just in? What could be better?” And that is a really healthy question to be asking our children about all the environments they’re in. “Who is a good teacher?” I’m constantly saying to my kids, “Who’s the best teacher you’ve got? What makes them the best teacher? What makes their classroom better than the other teachers’ classrooms?”

My kids are starting to notice what good leadership looks like and things like that, so there’s nothing wrong with those kind of questions. And I have no problem with saying to my children, “Actually, I don’t think what your coach did there was healthy.” But there’s a difference between saying, “I don’t think they were healthy,” and moaning about them, or being unfair, or being personal about them. I think, just how you talk about the adults in that environment in front of your children is really, really important. I-

I think firstly we play a lot of games in my sessions about just keeping it fun. The reality is some senior athletes are in it for the money, and somehow they manage to put their bodies on the line for money. But for most, it’s because they love playing. So I think our first priority is regardless of pathway, it’s got to stay fun. And when we take that fun out as parents because we’re pushing pathway, then we are exponentially increasing the chances that our children will drop out of playing the sport.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting our children to be successful in the sport, but actually what we want out of our child’s sporting encounter is that they make good friends, that they learn a ton of really important stuff about themselves. That they’re fit, that they’re healthy. And whether that’s because they play for the third team of a local side on a Saturday afternoon when they’re in their mid twenties, or they play in the National League, or whatever.

So I think for me about managing expectations, I spend a lot of time talking about the numbers. It is a brutal numbers game. And the reality is a small percentage make it. So, if a small percentage make it, I think for us as parents we need to be setting our minds on how are we going to behave because we’re likely to be in the majority. So if we’re likely to be in the majority, how do we help our children carry on having sport? How do we help them thrive? How do we help them manage the disappointment of injury or not quite making it? How do we help them work with those expectations?

But also, sport is a forward, backwards thing. And one of the biggest problems we have in the sports I work in, is kids who physically mature really, really quickly. And so I think part of managing that non-linear thing, particularly is if your child is excelling at eight, nine, ten, eleven, that’s great. But actually is that down to their physique? Is that down to a physical maturity? Or is it down to a mental maturity? Because some kids mentally mature quicker, so they’ve got better decision making and things like that.

Now, some children obviously carry that on. But the reality is most will catch up around them. And what tends to happen if our child has felt they’re a bit of a superstar and we’ve let them believe they’re a bit of a superstar, and we’ve let their coach believe that they’re a bit of a superstar, is that the non-linear, so it’s not a straight line, it’s not a straight line to success, means that actually they could fall out of the program, they could fall out of the club.

Source

https://www.soccerparenting.com/richard-shorter-courageous-parenting-webinar-re-cap/

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bensiiiii · 6 years ago

Link

the game has now been released, free of charge on itch.io!

a summary of the process, evaluation and experiences:

i created an atmospheric 2D game with a few puzzles and some interactive story elements. the game became much shorter than i anticipated, a lot of the reasons for this boils down to me being one person and deciding to implement things from scratch.

developing the engine with an editor (which was also made from scratch with its own GUI system), doing all the art, scripting, testing, story states, sound fx, graphics fx, AI, tiled maps, game design, file-handling, particles etc... ended up taking so much time and effort that when i was faced with my initial deadline, there was no way to sanely improve or expand on the game itself.

from a game design perspective, the game has a bit too much linear progression, which i think is a side-effect of initially wanting a focus on story, but realizing that it was not possible in the time i had estimated. i had to force the content i had to work with into something that resembled a start to finish game with somewhat of a logical progression.

libgdx was the initial choice, and i was set on having the game be playable across platforms, but that idea quickly died as libgdx seemed to become exponentially more viscous to work with and i ended up focusing on desktop.

i noted lacking areas such as documentation, consistency in naming and examples, ability to customize certain parts of the rendering pipeline.

there were some unexpected behaviors and systems i had to work around. all in all, it’s a decent framework IF you absolutely are going to ship to browser and phone.

it was a very character building experience for me to show that i can finish a complex project and execute long-term planning all without any other devices than myself and a simple framework. no engines, no artists, designers, existing assets, no nothing.

i realized some valuable things about myself and the process, which are already greatly improving the way i work with my next project.

- B

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itbeatsbookmarks · 7 years ago

Link

(Via: Hacker News)

If you want to make a sound shorter, you can play it faster. Doing this also makes it higher pitch unfortunately.

If you want to make a sound longer, you can play it more slowly. This also makes it lower pitch though.

Sound length and pitch are tied together and there’s no way to change one without changing the other.

… Actually that’s a lie. Granular synthesis can be used to change playback speed and pitch independently!

This post talks about how granular synthesis works, gives some examples you can listen to, and also supplies simple standalone C++ code that does it. (680 lines of code, one source file, only standard C++ includes, no libraries used.)

By the end of this post, you should even be able to program your own “autotune” effect.

The code and audio samples are available on github here: https://github.com/Atrix256/GranularSynth

Granular Synthesis Basics

Granular synthesis is conceptually pretty simple. The first step is to break a sound file up into small sections of sounds called “grains” that are typically between 10 and 100 milliseconds long.

You don’t have to do anything special to make grains, you just literally cut the sound up into a bunch of pieces.

To make a sound twice as long, you then make a new sound where each grain is repeated twice. When you play it back, it will sound mostly the same and be the same pitch, but will be twice as long.

To make a sound half as long, you would just throw away every other grain. The result is a sound that mostly sounds the same, and is the same pitch, but is half as long.

You aren’t restricted to integers though. You could easily throw out every 3rd grain to make it 2/3 as long or repeat every 5th grain to make it 20% longer.

You can also adjust pitch instead of length.

To make a sound that is the same length, but has twice as high pitch, you would double each grain, but play them back twice as fast. That would result in a sound that was the same length but had frequencies that were twice as high.

To make a sound that is the same length, but had half as high of a pitch, you would throw out every other grain, but play the ones you kept twice as slowly. That would result in a sound that was the same length but had frequencies that were half as high.

Congratulations, you now understand granular synthesis!

There are other usage cases of granular synthesis, but they are a lot more exotic – like making crazy cool sounds.

There are also variations of granular synthesis where grains overlap instead of being omitted, when dealing with sounds getting shorter, or grains being played a non integer number of times.

Check out this youtube video to see an insane usage case for real time granular synthesis. WTF! Youtube: Drum Sound Experiment – Dynamic Granular Synthesis

Some Granular Synthesis Gotchas

If you just do the above, you are going to have some issues with clicking and popping. When you put grains next to each other that weren’t next to each other before, there is going to be a discontinuity in the audio wave form, which translates into very short, very high frequencies that make a popping noise.

What’s more is if your grain size is 20 milliseconds, that means you will get a pop 50 times a second, which means you’ll get a 50hz tone from the popping.

So, how do you fix this?

One way is to use envelopes to do cross fading.

If you wanted to put down grain A and then grain C that would make a pop because A and C expect B to be between them.

Using an envelop to fix this problem, you’d put down grain A, and then next to it you’d put down grain B but have it’s volume go from 1 to 0 over some length of time (like 2 milliseconds). You then ADD grain C on top of grain B, but have it’s volume from from 0 to 1 over the same length of time.

The result is that there is no immediate “pop” from discontinuous wave forms. Instead, it gently fades from one grain to the next over the length of the cross fade.

Note that the above is equivalent to linearly interpolating from grain B to grain C over the length of the envelope, it’s just done in two passes.

I’ve heard that another way to handle this problem is that instead of cutting grains perfectly at the time / length they should be at, you make the cuts at zero crossings that are closest to the desired cut position.

What this does is make it so you can put any grain next to any other grain, and they should fit together pretty decently. This gives you C0 continuity by the way, but higher order discontinuities still affect the quality of the result. So, while this method is fast, it isn’t the highest quality. I didn’t try it personally, so am unsure how it affects the quality in practice.

Another issue you will encounter when doing granular synthesis is wanting to play back a grain at a non integer playback speed. This means you may want to sample index 0, then index 1.1, then index 2.2 and so on. How do you sample a fractional index?

A quick and easy way is to use the fractional part of the index to linearly interpolate between the two samples it’s in between. That means that sampling index 2.2 would be a linear interpolation between index 2 and index 3, and would be 20% of the way from index 2 to index 3. AKA it would be value[2] * 0.8 + value[3] * 0.2;

Another way to sample fractionally is to use cubic hermite interpolation. It’s more expensive to compute but interpolates more smoothly, and perserves first order derivatives.

You can read more about that on my blog post here: Cubic Hermite Interpolation

Lastly, there are a couple parameters to these techniques that have to be hand tuned for the situation they are used in:

Grain Size – Some usage cases want larger grain sizes, while others want smaller grain sizes. You’ll have to play with it and see what’s best for your usage case. Again, I’ve heard that typical grain sizes can range between 10 and 100 milliseconds.

Envelope Size – The size of the envelope used for cross fading can affect the result as well. Too short an envelope will start to make popping happen, but too long an envelop will muddy your sound.

Drums and other percussion instruments have a particularly hard time with granular synthesis because they are usually made up of very short but noticeable sounds. If these sounds get (partially?) repeated, it will sound weird and wrong.

Check the links at the end of the post for deeper reads into these topics and more!

Experiments & Results

For all experiments, I used a sound clip from one of my favorite movies “Legend” where Tim Curry plays the devil, and Tom Cruise and Mia Sara are the main characters fighting him.

legend1.mp3: https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/legend1.mp3

The experiments use cubic hermite interpolation to sample fractionally, and they use crossfading to fight popping between grains. Everything uses a grain size of 20 milliseconds, and a cross fade of 2 milliseconds.

Naive Pitch / Length Adjustment

To start out, we can play the sound faster and slower to naively adjust pitch and length.

Here’s a fast / high pitched version (70% of time): https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_a_fasthigh.mp3

Here’s an even faster / higher pitched version (40% of time): https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_a_fasterhigher.mp3

Here’s a slow / low pitched version (130% of time): https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_a_slowlow.mp3

And here’s an even slower / lower pitched version (210% of time): https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_a_slowerlower.mp3

Granular Synth Length Adjustment

Here is a sound made shorter (70% of time) using granular synthesis, so is the same length as the fast/high version, but has the same pitch as the original. Pretty cool, right? https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_b_fast.mp3

Here is the sound made even shorter (40% of time) so is the same length as the faster/higher version, but has the same pitch as the original again. https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_b_faster.mp3

Here is the sound made longer (130% of time), but again has the same length as the original. https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_b_slow.mp3

And here is the even longer version (210% of time). https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_b_slower.mp3

Granular Synth Pitch Adjustment

If we want to adjust the pitch but leave the length alone, there are two ways you could do that.

The first way is to use granular synthesis to change the length of the sound (longer or shorter), keeping the pitch the same, then use the regular “naive” method to make that resulting sound be the original sound length again.

If you made the sound shorter to start with, this process would decrease the pitch. If you made the sound longer to start with, this process would increase the pitch.

Here is a sound where that process is used to make the pitch about 1.43 times higher (1.0/0.7), but keeps the same sound length. https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_c_highalternate.mp3

Another way to get a very similar result is to just change the playback rate of the grains themselves – INDEPENDENTLY of how many times you repeat the grains (0 to N times) which changes sound length.

Here is a sound made doing that. It plays each grain back ~1.43 times faster, but makes a sound that is the same length in the end. My ears can’t tell the difference, even though I do know there is one. This is the technique we’ll be using for the rest of the experiments.

https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_c_high.mp3

Here is a higher pitched sound that plays back each grain 2.5 times faster (1.0 / 0.4). https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_c_higher.mp3

You can use this to make the sound lower pitched as well. Here is a sound where we play the grains back at 0.77 speed (1.0 / 1.3). https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_c_low.mp3

Here they play back at 0.48 speed (1.0 / 2.1). https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_c_lower.mp3

Granular Synth Pitch and Length Adjustment

To really drive home how pitch and length adjustments can be made independent with granular synthesis, here is a sound where it plays back more slowly (130% as much time), but it plays back at a higher pitch (~1.43 times as high).

https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_d_slowhigh.mp3

And the opposite… here is the sound played back more quickly (70% as much time), but it plays back at a lower pitch (~0.77 times as high)

https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_d_fastlow.mp3

Dynamic Parameters

Something else fun is that the parameters don’t have to be fixed at runtime.

In the example code, I have a version of the granular synthesis function that calls back to a lambda for every grain to see what time and pitch multiplier it should use.

Here the pitch is on a 10 cycle sine wave going between 0.75 and 1.25. https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_e_pitch.mp3

Here the sound length is on a 13 cycle sine wave going between 0.5 and 2.5. https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_e_time.mp3

And lastly, here it combines the pitch and sound length parameters described above. https://demofox2.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/out_e_timepitch.mp3

Links

Below are some great links for more information about granular synthesis. I also recommend searching youtube for “granular synthesis examples” to hear some really out there stuff.

https://www.soundonsound.com/techniques/granular-synthesis

https://granularsynthesis.com/guide.php

https://theproaudiofiles.com/granular-synthesis/

I also want to mention that the basics of this technique was kindly described to me at lunch by a co-worker. His web page is at http://antonte.com/

#IFTTT #Feedly

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