#it's all okay cats are all healthy and despite many attempts they eat only food which is meant for cats
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Ikesen - Rating Suitors
Except it’s my cats who do the rating, as my little Rzepka sat on my arm and is preventing me from writing. Excuse all the typos, let’s say my screen visibility fluctuates.
Without further ado, allow me to introduce our judges!
Rzodkiewka/Rzepka - the matriarch of the clan, the miniature kitty of confused stares and trust issues, the lady of reoccurring bladder problems, the one and only princess of wet cat food! She has seen some shit in her life. What shit? Idk. But she’s a good cat. infinity/10, would reccom...I am not supposed to be doing that.
Junko - the older sister, the mighty beast of cuddles, the resilient hunter who fears nothing, and will not leave until your plate is empty - either because you hurried to eat your food or because you’re now crouched in front of the couch and trying to GET BACK MY YOUR BREAD. Associate of cat food thieve organisation. Clumsy fluffy ass. Never did anything wrong in her life.
Porzeczka - the void kitty, one who knows all and has experienced all things of the world.... Except for snow. And rain. But who would want that, right? Ew ew ew, my paw is wet, how did that happen, i only put it in my water bowl. How was I supposed to know that water is wet? Hm? HM? Now look at it, your wall is wet, and I want fresh water in the bowl; will murder you with her claws. Sleeps on my stomach at night. Tsundere. Shows affection excussively between midnight and 5 AM. THE NINJA.
Nobunaga
Rzodkiew - would most likely piss in his futon from stress, not that he would notice it given how little he sleeps. Wouldn’t rule the world at his side, too much ore in this sama. 0/10
Junko - sold after the first piece of konpeito which she absolutely shouldn’t have been given. Turns into a round cat. She rolls in happiness and food. Perfect sleeping charm, the match made in heaven - her previous owner has been long imprisoned due to complaints about cat dietary habits .-. ; 11/10
Porzeczka - she is an independent kitty. She cares not for his promises. Her murder mittens have murder in them for a reason. Time to set the history straight - and then perhaps go and live peacefully somewhere in the mountains. Whew, this odd man was really too stressful, there was no other way.; -11/10
Mitsuhide
The council of cats has expressed their regret in having to announce no fucking way. Dude, are you ever home? Do you think Rzodkiew will be waiting? Nu-uh, get yourself and yours schemes somewhere else, void kitty smells nothing but trouble here. Food? What food? There is no joy in depriving you of food if it’s barely edible in the first place. Those leaves you eat aren’t the conventional edible leaves, sir. Don’t you even dare to disrespect the-mighty-hunter Junko like that.
Hideyoshi
Rzodkiew - yes, please??? Somebody with a common sense??? Who knows that animals need to be fed and who is responsible enough to be trusted with it??? Is home at least frequently?? Cares for his pets?? Rzodkiew would give him smootches, may leave some paw prints on correspondence though. Will absolutely sit in the ink if it means he’ll go to sleep; 110/10
Junko - forget about your pipe, Hideyoshi. Junko knocked it over. It’s probably under the couch. Or the desk. Cabinets. Somewhere. Actually, Junko doesn’t know where it is either. She also left nice print on the tatami mats, but found no bread, sadly. Get her some bread? No? NO?! Well, good, cats shouldn’t eat bread, that’s a plus point. Junko still likes you. Just spoil her with treats. I will come after you the moment she turns into a rolling cat, though. ; 8/10
Porzeczka - void kitty likes. Calm (aside from when he isn’t). Organized. Too stupid to stop her in her plans of world domination. Purrfect conditions for her development.; 9/10, could give her more cat trees.
Mitsunari
No.
Because he already has a cat, duh.
Ieyasu
Rzodkiew - is always super grumpy, no matter how many smootches she gives him. Somewhat confusing. But he treats her and is very gentle, and understands the personal space, and actually gives them very good food, and... RZODKIEW WHERE ARE YOU GOING, NO, DON’T MOVE OUT; 14/10
Junko - she is always with him, hugging him and such. Stopped trying to steal his food after she succeeded ONCE (too much spice, man, too much spice). Likes how fluffy his hair is, may try to groom him. 10/10, best friends, their colour schemes sorta match.
Porzeczka - destroyed his scarf because she thought it was a toy. Responsible owner. Not too loud. Will grumble with him, and then will headbutt him to show love. She understands. She would lend him her murder mittens. ; 10/10
Masamune
No.
Because they don’t want to become the food. Take it as you will, they don’t know who’d they fear more - him or Shogetsu.
Jokes aside, Junko loves the food part. The holy cat mother says annoying. Porzeczka opened claws.
Kenshin
Porzeczka is scared of bunnies. Is there even any place for cats left there? So many bunnies.
Is he multip...?Oh.
Prediction: Kasugayama will become a Bunny-Yama soon enough. Porzeczka must up her plans for world domination.
Shingen
Rzodkiew - can I call you father? Gentle gigant, gentle gigant, gentle gigant! Emotionally stable. Could build her a fort. Spoils all the ladies - and she IS a lady. A little (literally) tiny (very tiny) cat lady. *hit adopt button*; 16/10
Junko - tall guy tall guy tall guy shoulder rides on the tall guy! SWEETS. THEFT TIME. Her foodie instinct is tingling. Although she knows she will only get food appropriate for cats. Smh. She didn’t travel to the past for that.; 5/10
Porzeczka - he is fine, I guess? She would purr at him to go rest. And then would sit on his chest to make sure he can’t get up. It’s the law of the land, you can’t get up if a cat sits on you. I’m not making this up.
Yukimura & Sasuke
No. They have Shingen and Kenshin to baby. No room for pets in that.
Aaand the winner iiiiiis
Kennyo
Solely because he has all the benefits of the above and no annoying neighbours/INTENSE BOSSES/ore excess.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#shitpost#ikesen#ikemen sengoku#ikemen series#it's all okay cats are all healthy and despite many attempts they eat only food which is meant for cats#reoccurring bladder issues were a result of neglect which rzodkiew endured before I found her#but it's all good now so dw
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@ace-bookworm said Button House gets a cat and I said yes and then I wrote this, enjoy.
Buttons’ House
Alison and Mike Cooper had never intended to adopt a cat. After all, Button House was already full to bursting, what with the both of them, eight ghosts living in the main house, an entire village of plague victims in the basement, and the ghost of a pesky pigeon courtesy of their neighbour’s dog. Simply put, there was not enough space to add any more family members to Button House.
So the cat had taken it upon itself to move in.
It had started one morning while Button House was going through its usual morning routine. Alison had woken up, checked the bathroom for ghosts so that Mike could use it without fear, then started the stopwatch for the Captain’s run before putting on a record for Thomas to do his morning dance to. She had filled in a few words on Robin’s crossword, set up Pong for Julian, and put on a classic football match for Pat. In the next room, she had helped Mary with her phonics work, turned to the next page in Kitty and Fanny’s book, and then done the same for Humphrey (or rather, Humphrey’s head – god only knew where his body was). She had arrived downstairs in two minutes and thirty seconds to open the door for the Captain to run in, perfectly timed.
Everything was the same as usual.
“Two minutes thirty, Cap,” Alison said, stopping the timer. “Same as always.”
“Blast,” the Captain said frustratedly. “Are you quite certain of it, Alison? I could have sworn I shaved off a second or two, I really pushed myself on that last corner.”
She shrugged apologetically. “Sorry. I’m just going by what the timer says.”
The Captain harrumphed and peered out the door, beckoning Alison to join him. She did, looking out across the driveway to where he pointed at the gate.
“That’s my problem,” he said, waggling his finger. “The terrain switches from concrete to gravel. If you could just pave over the driveway then I’m quite sure I c– hello.”
The Captain’s tone changed abruptly and Alison raised an eyebrow. “Hello?” she replied, bewildered.
“No, no, not you,” Cap replied, pointing down the driveway again. “Look, over there. It’s a cat.”
Alison squinted and saw that the Captain was quite right. Trotting up the driveway towards the open door, mewing quietly, was a little cat. It was jet black with bright yellow eyes and looked a little tatty with its scraggly fur. As it got closer, Alison could see that its ribs jutted out from under its skin slightly. The cat looked happy enough, but it was very clearly a stray, or badly neglected at the very least.
It stopped just in front of the Captain and sat primly, looking up at him with its eyes squinted serenely.
“Can cats see ghosts?” Alison asked him.
“It would appear so,” he returned. With a painful-sounding cracking of his knees, the Captain crouched down in front of the cat and regarded it. The cat stared back, blinking happily up into the Captain’s face. It attempted to bat at the Captain’s swagger stick, which was hanging from his hands, but its paw went straight through.
“Yep,” Alison said, “it can see you.”
It didn’t appear the Captain was listening to her, because a moment later he pointed his stick at the cat and said, “Now you listen here. It is improper to try and touch a Commanding Officer’s person or belongings. Had you been a soldier – or indeed able to touch me – I should have you punished.”
“Captain, it’s a cat, it can’t understand you,” Alison told him.
He stood up again, knees creaking audibly. “Yes, well. That hardly matters – I am a senior officer and I– oh dear, good Lord, what is it doing now?”
The cat was purring, attempting to rub itself against the Captain’s legs lovingly, but simply passing right through, which only seemed to make it more determined to show the Captain its love. The Captain began to gag, reminding Alison of the ghosts’ inability to touch living things without feeling sick. Quickly, she scooped the cat into her arms and held it close – the Captain stopped his gagging, but the cat continued to purr, nuzzling at Alison’s face.
“It’s very affectionate,” she said through all the fur blocking her face.
“Quite,” returned the Captain, voice a touch more gentle than usual. “Do you think it has a home of its own?”
Alison stroked the cat and frowned. “If it does then it’s not a very good one. Look, you can see all its bones, the poor thing hasn’t eaten in ages. And look at its fur, it’s disgusting. And it stinks.” The cat stopped purring momentarily as if offended. “Sorry.”
“Well,” the Captain said, assuming his usual military-man stance, bouncing once on the balls of his feet, back straight, stick tucked under his arm. “If this creature is in need then perhaps we should provide a home for it.”
“What? No, we can’t do that. Captain, the house is more than full already, we can’t add a cat to the mix.”
“During the war we never left a soldier behind!”
“This is a cat, not a soldier. I’m sure it’ll find a home eventually, just not here.”
As she said it, the cat laid its head upon her shoulder, purring again, eyes closed. It appeared it had decided that in Alison’s arms was the perfect place to go to sleep. Alison had always been a cat person and wanted nothing more than to cuddle the cat, even though it was probably riddled with disease and it stank like rot, but she knew if she did that then the cat would start thinking that Button House was its home. It would start coming back and they couldn’t have that. So with a heavy heart, she gently placed it down on the floor.
“Sorry,” she said to it as it looked up at her sadly. “I’ll feed you just this once because you look like you need it, but that’s it. Right, Captain?”
The Captain muttered something under his breath as he often did when he felt put out, then turned on his heel and left, stretching the way he liked to after his morning run. Alison went the opposite direction, leading the cat to the kitchen to find it something to eat.
It was halfway through the plate of tuna she had laid down for it when Mike came in. He looked down at it, then to Alison, then back at the cat before saying bewilderedly, “I don’t remember getting one of those.”
“That’s because we don’t have one,” Alison told him. She watched fondly as it ate its food – it clearly hadn’t eaten in months judging by the way it wolfed the fish down. “This is a stray, it followed the Captain in this morning after his run.”
“Uh huh,” Mike said slowly, sitting down to watch the cat too. “So why is it in our kitchen?”
“I’m feeding it.”
“Yes, I can see that. Why though?”
“Because,” Alison said emphatically, picking the cat up as it wandered absently towards her, then turning it to face Mike. She held its paws in her hands and wiggled them back and forth like a bad puppeteer. “Look at it! It needed some sort of food otherwise the poor thing would probably die. It’s not like we’re going to keep it, I just wanted to make sure it lived.”
“You remember what happened to my Auntie Barbara,” Mike replied. “She accidentally adopted so many neighbourhood strays that her house was practically overrun with them. And then what happened to her? She died. Because she was allergic to cats and there was so many that it killed her.”
“I never understood why she fed them and stroked them in the first place if she was so allergic,” Alison returned, to which Mike shrugged. “But it doesn’t matter anyway. We aren’t keeping it.”
“We don’t get to decide that,” Mike said, “the cat does.”
The cat, from its place nestled on Alison’s lap, meowed in agreement.
“Well, if it shows up again, we just won’t let it in. Agreed?”
“Agreed. We can’t afford another mouth to feed. It is cute though,” he admitted.
“It is, isn’t it?”
Despite how adorable the cat was, Alison let it out the front door. She watched as it obediently walked away, tail a little higher than it had been before, looking healthier and perkier. She knew she shouldn’t have been hoping it would come back, but a little part of her didn’t want to say goodbye.
Luckily, she didn’t have to. The very next morning, she opened the door to let the Captain in from his run (“Two minutes and thirty seconds, Captain, but I think you knew that already.”) and hot on his tail came the cat, smiling as obviously as a cat could.
In spite of her better judgement, Alison took the cat into the kitchen again and fed it once more. She knew she shouldn’t have been, but she was already growing very attached to it. Despite its awful smell and awful condition, she felt a soft spot for it. Absently, she wondered if she should take it to a vet, just to get it checked over and see if it had a home. But she was snapped out of her thoughts by one of the loudest things known to mankind – Lady Fanny Button.
“What on Earth is that disgusting creature doing in my house?!” she shrieked, pointing wildly at the cat, which kept eating its food just as peacefully as before.
“Relax, Fanny, I’m just feeding it,” Alison explained.
“Whyever are you doing that? That creature is clearly a stray, probably riddled with fleas, and you’ve brought it into this house like it’s nothing! It’s going to defile this beautiful house and you shall be the one to blame for it, Alison. I want it gone at once!”
“Fanny, it’s not doing anything, okay? Calm down, look, it’s just having something to eat, it needs it.”
“It is a very small step from eating to… to defecating, young lady!” Lady Button retorted. “I shall not have that thing in my house, ruining everything! Take it away.”
“I thought you liked animals,” Alison tried. “You had Dante when you were alive.”
“Dante was a well-behaved, loving, healthy, clean dog. He was not some stray we just picked up off the street one day because we felt like it!”
“Well,” Alison said, “to be fair, we haven’t picked up the cat because we feel like it, it kind of invited itself in.”
“If anything that makes it worse,” Fanny yelled, sounding appalled. “Not only does it smell ghastly and look unseemly, but it is rude as well. It clearly has no manners. I will not ask again, Alison, take the cat out of this house!”
At that moment, the cat finished eating and turned around to try and bat at the hem of Lady Button’s dress. Though it couldn’t touch it (for obvious ghostly reasons), Fanny screamed and took a few paces back. She started yelling more nonsense at Alison, something along the lines of ‘get it out’ and then ran straight through the wall, out of the kitchen.
Sighing, Alison heaved the cat into her arms, took it through the house again and let it out through the front door just like the previous day. She watched it wander away once more, though this time it stopped in the middle of the driveway to wash its leg briefly. She shut the door behind it and got on with the rest of her day.
It wasn’t until the next day, day three, that Alison realised that the cat situation was likely going to become permanent. When she opened the door for the Captain, he did not run in as usual, so she peered out of the door and saw him crouched in the middle of the driveway, attempting to pet the cat but failing miserably because each time his hand passed right through and he gagged.
She watched for a minute, stifling her laughs so that the Captain didn’t hear her and realise she was watching which would likely make him stop. Soon she was joined by someone else.
“Good morning, Alison,” Kitty said, bounding up to her, smiling as brightly as ever. “How are you today? Oh look – the Captain has made a friend!”
Alison chuckled. “He has. It looks like they’re getting on very well.”
Kitty gasped excitedly then said, “It’s a cat. That means it’s a kitty, just like me!” And without further ado, she skipped over to join the Captain and the cat. The Captain looked mildly disgruntled, their moment having been interrupted, but he smiled as soon as the cat started purring, trying to bat at his swagger stick again and jumping at the bows on Kitty’s dress.
A moment later, Mike joined Alison. He looked out at the cat, watching as it jumped and played with what would seem like nothing to him.
“Are there ghosts out there with it?” he asked Alison.
“Yep,” she returned, popping the ‘p’. “Cap and Kitty. They’ve really taken a shine to it.”
“Well, like I said,” Mike replied, “it is really cute, I don’t blame them. Have any of the others met it yet?”
“Only Lady B,” Alison told him. He raised an eyebrow and she continued, “She wasn’t a fan.”
Mike hummed and a silence fell between them. Alison had been thinking more frequently that they really should take it to a vet. Even though it was happy and eating properly when she fed it, getting it checked over wasn’t a bad idea. It didn’t mean they had to adopt it – it just meant that they could have peace of mind knowing it was alright.
She was just about to say this to Mike, but he got in first and said, “I think we should keep it.”
“What?” she replied, shocked. “Why? Two days ago you were worried it was going to kill you.”
“No,” he said, “I just suggested that it’s a possibility we can’t rule out. But you clearly like it, and I think it’s cute, and if the ghosts like it then maybe it’ll – I don’t know – like, placate them a little.”
“They’re not dangerous, they don’t need placating,” Alison said. “Is this just the same as when you said we should get Netflix to ‘appease’ them after they’d finished watching every DVD we own?”
“No,” he said, sounding too affronted to be telling the truth. “Plus, we won’t be caring for it on our own, will we? We’ve got eight extra pairs of eyes to keep a lookout for it. So we can all look after it, it won’t be just us.”
“Only one of those ghosts can touch anything,” Alison told him. “We’ll still have to clean up its poo and stuff like that. And you’re terrible with poo.”
“Yeah, that’s why you’ll be on poo duty.”
“No. If we’re adopting this cat then we’re sharing poo duty. That’s the price you have to pay.”
The both of them turned to watch the Captain and Kitty playing with the cat again. It jumped up to try and grab the feathers in Kitty’s hair and she giggled delightedly.
“Alison,” she called, “it’s so lovely! Come and play with us, please!”
She turned to Mike. “Okay. We’re keeping it then.”
He tore his gaze away from the cat and smiled. “Yeah. Why not? Let’s do it.”
“Great,” Alison said, clapping her hands. “I’ll call the vet, see if they can get us an appointment to make sure it’s all healthy and see if it’s microchipped. I hope it doesn’t already have a home.”
“If it does then we can just get another one,” Mike said, slipping an arm around Alison’s shoulders. “There’s a shelter not too far away.”
“I like this cat, though. I want this one.”
“Well, we’d better get that vet appointment to see if we can have it then, hm?”
And so, not four hours later, Alison and Mike made their way back to Button House from the vets, the kitten nestled comfortably in the back seat. Their appointment had gone very well – the cat was in surprisingly good health for a stray, they had got it up to date on its vaccinations, and they had determined the cat didn’t have a home. So, to the couple’s delight, it was allowed to stay at Button House.
The house was unusually quiet when they arrived back. That normally meant that all the ghosts were assembled upstairs partaking in one of Pat’s clubs or another. There was the faint sound of scattered applause as Alison walked through the front door – one of them had probably finished giving a speech.
She gently put the cat down on the floor as Mike shut the front door behind them.
“Right, missy,” she said. The vet had also confirmed that the cat was a girl and about six months old. “Welcome home!”
The cat meowed and trotted off down the hallway, seemingly in search of the source of the clapping. Alison wandered after it, and the cat led her upstairs to the common room. She found the ghosts all gathered around together, most of them on the sofa, Julian and Robin by the chess board, and Thomas in full view of all of them, bowing even though their half-hearted applause had long since ceased.
Lady Button was the first to notice the new arrival and she didn’t seem best pleased.
“Alison,” she shouted, standing up and pointing at the cat furiously. “I told you to get rid of that vermin, that vile creature, I do not want it in this house!”
“Now listen here,” interrupted the Captain, brandishing his swagger stick. “That cat happens to be in dire need of our assistance. I think it only right that Alison has brought it inside.”
“And it really is a sweetheart, too, Lady Button,” Kitty gushed.
“You’d probably think a grizzly bear was a sweetheart,” Fanny retorted.
Robin shook his head, saying, “Grizzly bear never sweetheart. Grizzly bear kill my uncle. Was very funny actually.”
“Excuse me,” interjected Thomas, “I still have four more poems I want to perform!”
As happened far too often to be endearing anymore, the ghosts all started yelling over each other, some insisting they get rid of the cat, some insisting it stayed, and Thomas insisting he be allowed to finish his recital. Alison watched them fight, the cat sat at her feet, watching bemusedly too, before finally stepping in after Julian and Thomas started squaring up to one another.
“Alright, alright, enough!” she shouted.
Shouting only worked about half the time, sometimes the ghosts’ arguing would be so loud that Alison couldn’t even hear herself over it – luckily, this time around the ghosts fell silent and looked towards her expectantly.
“Okay,” she said, “everyone just listen to me. Mike and I decided that we’re going to adopt this cat–”
“Outrageous,” interrupted Lady Button. Alison ignored her.
“We’ve taken her to the vets. She’s in perfectly good shape and she doesn’t seem to have a home, so we’re taking her in. She might need a little TLC before she starts looking…”
“Less like a toilet brush?” suggested Julian, eyeing the cat.
Alison frowned. “Before she starts looking herself. But we’re keeping her, no objections. Okay? She really is lovely, I promise you all.”
“No, no, no,” shrieked Mary, standing up and joining Lady Button as far away from the cat as they could get. “Al’son, you can’t keeps the pussycat.”
“Why is that, Mary?” Alison asked, trying not to sigh.
“Because you’ll’s be branded a witch!” Mary explained, sounding as if it should have been obvious. “If a woman have a cat then she be a witch! They’ll burns you at the stake! I’d know.”
“Mary, lots of people have cats now and they don’t get burned to death. Alright? And you know I’m not a witch.”
“Oh,” Mary said. “Right. Okay then.”
Without further hesitation she crouched down and smiled at the little cat. It purred and tried to bat at her apron. But it appeared Mary took that as an attempt at attack, so she yelped and ran, hiding behind Kitty.
“You can keeps the pussycat, Al’son, but please keeps it aways from me.”
“If you’re quite finished with the witchcraft nonsense,” said the Captain, stepping forward, “then might I ask if this cat has a name?”
“Oh,” Alison said, “well, Mike and I were going to brainstorm later this evening–”
“That seems hardly fair,” Cap returned. “We all live here, we should all name it.”
“Yes,” said Kitty, bouncing up and down. “I think we should call her Princess Snuggles.”
The Captain laughed. “No, thank you, Katherine, that’s a silly name. I was thinking something more like Major Fuzzyboots.”
“And how, pray tell, is that any less silly than Princess Snuggles?” asked Thomas flatly.
“Well, I don’t see what’s wrong with any classic cat names,” Pat said, peering down at the cat. He stretched his hand out to scratch her head, then looked as if he had to hold back vomit, and withdrew his hand. “Something like Luna or Shadow. Something simple, like.”
“Boring,” Robin remarked. “Should call it Cat. Save trouble.”
“No offense, guys, but I think I’m just going to talk it over with Mike,” Alison decided – the ‘all these names are terrible’ wasn’t spoken aloud but was heavily implied and she was sure they got the picture. “We’ll come up with something. Come on, missy.”
Alison hoisted the cat into her arms and was about to head back downstairs with her, when Julian’s voice piped up from behind and said, “Why not call her Buttons?”
The other ghosts made noises of agreement, which was rare.
“Buttons?” Alison said, looking at the cat. “Well, I suppose she does look like a Buttons. And it’s like Button House! Oh, I love it, nice one, Julian.”
He straightened his tie and suit jacket. “Yes, well, if anyone was going to be the one to solve this – uh – cat naming crisis, well then, I suppose it only makes sense that it were me. It’s not the first crisis I’ve solved, not by any stretch of the imagination. Did I ever tell you all about the time, back in eighty-three, when I…”
Alison didn’t stick around to hear the rest of whatever godawful story Julian was planning on telling. She left the room and headed back downstairs to get Buttons some food and tell Mike they’d decided on a name.
Over the next few weeks, Buttons’ presence in Button House seemed to be almost completely accepted by everyone living there. There had been a few unfortunate incidents and teething problems, but nothing that wasn’t fixable.
The first real problem came two days after Buttons’ adoption. Nobody had been able to find Humphrey’s head, which was predictably detached from his body. Kitty remembered placing it down on the kitchen table, but all they found there was Buttons. Everyone had been searching the house (including Mike, though he couldn’t see Humphrey, and Humphrey’s body, which couldn’t see anything at all) but it hadn’t been until Alison had picked Buttons up that the head had been discovered.
It turned out that Buttons had taken quite a liking to Humphrey and decided to sit on him. The problems arose when Buttons obviously couldn’t sit on Humphrey and instead ended up in him, which obscured the head from view completely. And it didn’t help that Humphrey was allergic, something that apparently hadn’t changed in death. His face was red and his eyes were watering when Alison finally picked up Buttons and freed him.
“Oh, thank goodness for that,” Humphrey breathed. “I’ve been shouting for hours, couldn’t anyone hear me?”
“You must’ve been muffled by Buttons’ fur,” Alison suggested. “Sorry Humphrey, I’ll try to stop that from happening again.”
“Oh, don’t trouble yourself, Alison. It’s alright, really. Well, apart from the allergy, and the sick feeling from having something living touch me. But really, no need to go out of your way.”
Another issue was that Robin just didn’t seem to get on with Buttons. She loved him, clearly – in fact, Buttons seemed to adore everyone in Button House (except Mike, for reasons unknown to anybody) – but one day Alison had walked into the common room to see Robin yelling at the cat.
“Oh, you think you so big, so clever. I kill mammoth. I can easy kill little cat!”
“Woah, hey,” Alison said, approaching the two. Buttons was stood on the chess table, gazing up at Robin with nothing short of adoration in her eyes. “Why are you threatening to kill my cat?”
“Ruin chess game,” Robin huffed, jabbing a finger in Buttons’ direction. She tried to pat it and he grumbled, “Go away.”
“She’s just a cat, I’m sure she didn’t mean to.”
“She did. She jump on table and hit all pieces off. Little guy and horsey on floor, me no pick them up!”
Alison did it for him, picking up the chess pieces and placing them on the squares Robin instructed her to. Buttons quickly lost interest, hopped off the table and left the room.
“And stay out!” Robin called after her.
Thomas didn’t seem to be the cat’s biggest fan either. Alison had a sneaking suspicion that his hatred towards her stemmed from the fact that he had been trying to recite yet another unwarranted love poem to Alison but she’d not been paying attention, instead playing with Buttons. She had caught him seeking his revenge later that day, leaning over Buttons as she slept on the sofa, and whispering what sounded like a demand for her to duel him. Alison had decided to avoid that situation altogether and quickly backed out the room.
The only other ghost who wasn’t totally enamoured with Buttons was Julian, who seemed very indifferent on the whole subject. Though Alison did once catch him practising one of his speeches on the cat, who seemed surprisingly attentive.
But for the most part, Buttons was adored. Many a time, Alison came across the Captain or Pat pretending to stroke her or sitting by her as she slept. Kitty and Mary would play with her (though Mary was still a little wary and periodically asked Buttons if she was a witch in disguise). Even the plague ghosts adored her – she had managed to sneak down to the basement when Mike left the door open once, and the ghosts had tried their hardest to adopt her for themselves. They were happy with the agreement they reached with Alison though, that she would let Buttons down there once a week to visit them all.
The biggest surprise of all came one lazy evening when Alison had been on her way to bed, a sleepy Mike in tow. They had passed through the common room where a fire was dwindling in the fireplace. Buttons was curled up in front of it, sleeping soundly, and watching her with a fond expression on her face was Fanny.
Alison smiled and cleared her throat. Fanny looked round, looking a little startled and embarrassed to be caught gazing at the cat she had been so against.
“Alison,” she said, but didn’t seem to have any words to follow it up with.
“Is she growing on you, then, Fanny?” Alison asked, stifling a yawn.
Fanny turned away, facing Buttons again, and said, “Well. She’s certainly no Dante. But I can admit now that she is rather sweet. I suppose it’s alright that she stays here.”
Alison watched as a small smile grew on Fanny’s face, watching the gentle rise and fall of Buttons’ chest.
“Goodnight, Lady B,” she said.
“Goodnight, Alison.”
From then on, all the residents of Button House treated Buttons as if she were all that mattered, even Robin and Thomas, whose grudges quickly wore off. It seemed that despite the fact that Button House was already full to the brim, adding little Buttons made the house a home.
#everyone say Thank You Izzy for this beautiful idea#bbc ghosts#ghosts bbc#fanfiction#fanfic#the captain bbc ghosts#kitty bbc ghosts#alison cooper#mike cooper#lady button#fanny button#robin bbc ghosts#thomas thorne#julian fawcett#mary bbc ghosts#pat butcher#the plague ghosts#fic#writing#my writing#six idiots#humphrey bbc ghosts
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Survey #404
“death doesn’t answer when i cried for help”
The person you had the strongest feelings for dies, do you care? I'd be fucking devastated. It wouldn't feel real. Is there something you’re happy about at the moment? A few things. I'm still on that high of my APAP mask working, like I'm actually getting some fucking quality sleep, and I think I'm noticing the effects of my TMS therapy finally, too. My PTSD has most notably been much more bearable, and my interests are beginning to spread again. Do you want someone dead? No. Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? I mean yeah, I think that's pretty normal, even for someone without my issues. Have you ever fed or taken care of a stray animal? Oh, many times. What is something you tend to worry about? My health and future. What is something you do that is unhealthy? Sit at the computer for way too long. I'm absolutely certain my vision is as poor as it is partially because of me endlessly staring at screens. What is something you do that is good for you? I'm not afraid to prioritize my mental health. What last caused you to force a smile? I was watching a Mark video for the first time in a while and was just reminded of how much I love and appreciate that moron. What was the last video game you played? Was it fun? Because you said "video" game, I guess I'll exclude computer ones, in which case I'm pretty sure it was Silent Hill 2. Given it's one of my all-time favorite games, of course I think it's fun. It's one hell of an emotional ride. What is something not many people know about you? The fact I was a dancer for many years would probably surprise people once they have a good idea of me and what I like. What word describes your basic style? Lazy, honestly. I dress for comfort, and given that's usually just pj pants and a tank top... yeah, I don't put much effort into my clothing when I'm going most places. Have you ever been told you were going to Hell? She kinda beat around the bush, but yes. Have you ever wanted to kill yourself? On more than one occasion. If yes, what convinced you not to go through with it? Well, I did OD once, but on the other occasions, it was the fear of the unknown that deterred me. Have you ever rejected a guy, only to have him push the issue by asking “why?” and insisting that you just need to get to know him better? Omg no, thank god. I would NOT handle that well. Is there something that you believe everyone should do and you can’t believe that some people don’t do it (e.g., recycle or go to the dentist regularly)? I didn't know 'til a survey question asked it that there are people who don't brush their tongue when brushing their teeth. Like holy shit dude, there are SO many germs on your tongue, clean that shit. Regarding the last good choice (healthy choice, kind choice, selfless choice, etc.) you made, what was your real motivation behind it? Ummmm the nearest that comes to mind is I guess taking my meds? I mean I do that every single day, but it's still a healthy choice for me. The motivation was because I am very serious about doing what I can for my mental wellbeing. What is something that you have had to practice at to get the hang of it? If you can’t think of anything, that’s okay, what’s something you are currently practicing at and trying to master? I really can't think of something for the first half of the question, but I can tell you that right now I'm attempting to force a routine of applying a therapy technique called "opposite action" into my daily life, where you, well, do the exact opposite of what your depression tells you to not do. It is WAY harder than it sounds, but I'm doing it with reading 30 minutes a day! Have you ever gone to the store to buy something, like a video game, when it came out at midnight? Not to my recollection, no. Regarding the last novel you read, was there a romance included? If so, was it central to the plot? The last novel I finished, yes. It wasn't central to the plot. Have you ever done relaxation meditations or listened to relaxation guides or positive-thinking/healing recordings? No, except in therapy when different therapists wanted me to experiment with it during a session. They just don't work for me. Do you have any interests that are also often shared by children? Yeah. Those are the one I'm especially self-conscious about. there something that could be a solitary activity but you really only like to do it with other people (e.g., watching movies, playing video games, etc.)? Watching movies or TV. Are you satisfied with the interior design or decoration in your home? Or do you think it needs a total home makeover? A makeover would be nice... Is there something that you’d like to own but you can’t find it anywhere? If not, can you a remember a time when you wanted something? Did you ever end up finding it or did you eventually stop wanting it? OKAY SO I actually have seen this custom-made once long after deciding I wanted it, but it was RIDICULOUSLY expensive. There's a location in the Silent Hill games called Heaven's Night, and I'd love love LOVE to commission someone to duplicate the neon pink sign of it to hang in my room. Hopefully one day I could still do it. Who makes you smile the most? Probably my cat, honestly. What piercings do you want/have? I've talked about the piercings I have, but I'll talk about those I want. My #1 is absolutely collarbone dermals, but as I've explained a billion times, I want to lose weight so the bones are more prominent for the sake of contrast; you can't really see my collarbones now, so I just think it'd look pretty dumb and random to just have random piercings somewhere around there with no dimension. I also want way more in my ears, dermals in my back dimples also once I've lost weight, my right nostril for the dozenth time (but this time I'll wear a hoop), and while I'd absolutely adore an undereye microdermal as well, it'd be pointless with glasses. :/ What's your favorite website? KM is my pride and joy and really feels like my online home, so despite using sites like YouTube more, that 'ole RP site has to be my fave. Do you own a fish tank with fish? No. I had fish bowls (AWFUL idea) as a kid, but never tanks Do you like the movie 300? Never seen it. Do you pop your knuckles? NOOOOOOOOOOO. I absolutely hate the sound. It makes me cringe and shiver. Do you have Photoshop? Yes. It comes in the Adobe CC photography bundle I have. Do you use tinypic or photobucket? I used Photobucket back in the day. Now I just upload to imgur. What’s your favourite song from the 1980s? You're talking to someone who adores classic rock/metal, haha. How about the 1990s? There are way too many songs to choose from. Have you won anything recently? No. How often do you make Excel tables? What for? Never. What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? There was a poor fawn as roadkill on the highway recently. :/ Are you always available or online? Preeeetty much. Do you have dietary restrictions? Or do you just eat what you like? I can eat whatever. Do you prefer gold, silver or steel jewelry? Or no jewelry at all? Steel. I'm allergic to silver, and I think steel is more subtle than gold. Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? No. If you dye your hair, do you do it yourself or go to a salon? I do it at a salon. If you have any, do you like your in-laws? I don’t have any. Would it bother you, if your partner had cut contact with their parents? If they had a good reason, no. Have you ever wondered whether you were adopted? As a kid I did because I thought Mom was meaner to me than my siblings, lol. What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? ........... This question is a setup lmfao. Have you ever grown a berry bush? No. Have you done something new to your hair recently? No. It's been the same for quite a while. I wanna dye it badly. Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? I'm diagnosed with generalized and social anxiety, so yeah. I take Klonopin once and day and Ativan as needed for attacks. One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? HA, the first thing to come to mind was being noticed by Mark by making a viral (in the community, anyway) gif of he and his doggy. I shit you not, I couldn't sleep for three days lmfao. What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? That I gained fucking seven pounds in two months at my last doctor appointment. I wanted to scream. How often do you have late nights out? Never. I'm a homebody. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? No. It would absolutely make me less productive. If you had the ability to change the weather, what would you change it to right now? Cool with a nice breeze, mostly clear skies, crisp air... That'd be nice right now. Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it? I say it all the time: finish decorating my room. It's funny, because I KNOW I'll feel more at home and cozy with my bedroom more personalized. Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? Paranormal Entity. The ending was... a lot. Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? Not that I can think of. .-. I hope I can achieve some... Have you ever had food poisoning? No, thank God. What are you listening to? "The Man Who Made a Monster" by Dance With the Dead. Do you think there will be a WWIII? I find it inevitable at some point down humanity's future. People are too hateful for it not to eventually. Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo? Yeah. Has someone ever liked you that you never thought would? Maybe? Idk. In all honesty, can a person be too nice? Yes, in some instances. Has one of your friend’s boyfriends ever tried to cheat on them with you? Yes, when I was around 12. And I let it happen. It's one of my biggest regrets. Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse? Of course it is. Emotional abuse can cut just as deep as some physical blows, or even deeper. Do you shop at Sephora for make-up? No. Zelda: Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? I'm actually not into TLoZ. Do you own a rosary? I did as a kid growing up in a Catholic Sunday school. If you were homeless, how would you cope? If I had no loved ones in my life and no sign of things getting better, I'm honestly preeetty sure I'd end my life.
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Heart’s Desire Pt. 1
Preface: SO I know i haven’t done a story in a while, and that is for good reason: Writers block mixed in with real world stuff. BUT i do have something super nice and sweet to make up for it. This story is a bit of fluff, so I am rather proud of it. There will be a part 2 and I do eventually plan on combining the two into a master post (possibly with other stories) once I have a cover photo for it.
The original format is here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_3tZlLjHtBtT7uk4maoZFMDtcCL96j7XZW3woMockNY/edit?usp=sharing
However i will also be formatting the story to tumblr as a bunch of you have expressed how you’re not able to view google docs links on your phone.
Story under the cut
The streets of London buzzed with traffic in the afternoon rush. Hundreds of Muggles going too and fro, rushing around in their cars as they race to work and home alike. Merula sighed wistfully, watching the Muggles drive around in their cars while she was still stuck at home. Despite everything, she did come here of her own free will, and she did have plenty of things to do while her girlfriend was out working. Even after living in the Muggle world for nearly six years, Merula still marveled at how quickly Muggles advanced their technology; Especially when she considered how far cars in particular had advanced.
A timer dinged from the kitchen, signifying that dinner was done cooking. Merula shifted Eleanor, Lilian’s black cat, from her lap as she moved to take the chicken out before it became too dry. A quick flick of her Pinewood wand sent the knife into a chopping the vegetables left on the cutting board earlier as she took out a skillet. A special recipe her mother had taught her before being locked up in Azkaban, one of the few good things that she remembered from her family. Once the knife had performed its duties, it quietly sat by the cutting board as Merula slid its contents into the oil and rosemary mix she had in the skillet.
Halfway through frying the potatoes and asparagus, Merula heard the front door open and the sound of loud barking coming from the entryway. She smirked to herself, knowing Rook’s excitable nature and how no one could get past him when he was on watch.
“Okay, okay! Bon garçon Rook. Good Boy.” The silver haired woman grinned as she took off her coat and hat, revealing a doll like arm and a pair of wireframe glasses over Amethyst eyes. Merula walked into the entryway, leaning against the door jam just to smirk at her girlfriend: Lilian Le’Reau.
“You’re late, you know.”
Lilian moved up to Merula with a smile on her face, as she leaned down to softly kiss her girlfriend. The two stood there for a moment in each others embrace, taking just a little extra longer to hold each other. “Pardonne moi, mon amour. The office was a little backed up today. Apparently attempting to convert mechanical energy into magical is something the engineering department advised the wizengamot against.” Lilian looked down to Merula and gave a defeated smile. “It looks like I’ll need to pull a bit more overtime over the week.”
Merula sighed and held Lilian closer. “All this overtime. I’m starting to think that you don’t like me, Le’Reau.” Lilian quickly sputtered as a slight blush came to her face. “NO! No its… There’s only one person I could love. This extra overtime is simply to make sure I have the entire week of christmas to spend with you.”
Merula smiled before letting go. She was concerned for her girlfriend and all the overtime she was pulling. That couldn’t be healthy for Lilian, especially with all the added stress of being one of the wizarding world’s best prosthetic makers. Even though they had been dating for nearly Ten years, it was still unusual for Merula to admit she was concerned for someone other than herself. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”
Merula looked up to Lilian with a small smile before putting up a mask of Bravado. “You had better be! You’re the one who dragged me out here to Muggle-Land so you should at least make sure to have time for me. Now come on dinner’s almost done, Lil. Make sure Rook and Eleanor have their food before we eat. We don’t need them begging for food at the table.”
Once dinner was done, Lilian cuddled with Merula on the couch while they watched old christmas specials. Merula was still unsure of ‘television’ but like many other muggle items, it hadn’t been anything scary or lethal. During one such program, ‘Frosty the Snowman’ as the movie was called, the phone rang from the kitchen. “I’ll get it” Lilian said almost a little too quickly. Lilian returned with a big grin on her face. “Anything good happen, Lil?”
Lilian smiled. “A surprise for in a couple of days, Merula.” With that, Merula wouldn’t be able to get anymore information on the matter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A week later, Merula and Lilian had gone to Lilian’s parents' home for a pre-christmas dinner, as her parents had planned on going on a vacation over christmas and new years. Merula sat on the couch, waiting for Lilian to get off work again as she talked with Lilian’s mother while they waited for everyone to get home.
“I never thought to ask, but how did you meet Lilian’s Father?”
Celia smiled. “Oh that is rather amusing. I was on my way to the workshop I was supposed to start at when I see this curious man on the side of the road. His car was obviously dead on the road but the state of it was frightening. How he had managed to make it work in the first place is still a mystery to me.” Merula smiled as she listened about how Samuel had been stranded while trying to go to University. It was rather nice, knowing that she and Lilian weren’t so different after all. Love happening in the strangest of ways was apart of the experience.
“After about a year or so, He finally proposed. He almost dropped the ring down the storm drain, but he’s always been nimble.” Celia finished. Merula couldn’t help but giggle a little bit at that. That sounds like something that Lilian would end up doing if she ever proposed. Just as she was thinking that, the door started to open, admitting Daniel and Lilian, as well as Abby and Rorick McKinley.
“Hey lot!” Abby shouted with a grin before hugging Celia warmly. “How ya holdin, Auntie Celia?”
Lilian silently sat beside Merula and gave a kiss on her cheek before unwinding her scarf. The family sat around, regaling each other with stories from throughout the year as dinner drew closer. Merula helped Celia place for the table when she noticed Abby and Lilian talking in the Living room. She finished and snuck over to try and catch a snippet of the conversation.
“-an yer sure of this. It’s a mighty big risk, even for you, Lil.”
“Oui. I am sure. And I know that… I’m sure.” Lilian said with a smile.
Meula frowned. What were those two talking about? Was it related to Lilian’s unusual amount of overtime at the Ministry? She couldn’t help but wonder what all was going on and why all the secrecy was necessary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Merula woke up to the sound of her alarm going off. She looked up to see Lilian’s side of the bed empty. She frowned, turning to the calendar on the back of their bedroom door.
Only three days till christmas and still Lilian had been very secretive as to why she needed to work so much overtime. Merula couldn’t help but sigh despondently as she walked down to the kitchen. Her surprise was evident when she sniffed the air as she turned to see Lilian at the stove with her pajama pants and a loose t-shirt on as she cooked breakfast. And from the smell of it, it was Merula’s favorite. Cinnamon Oats with Bacon and Sunny side eggs.
“Bonjour, Belle. I figured that you’d enjoy something to eat. It is my week off.”
Merula’s eyes went wide at that statement. A whole week of Lilian to herself? That was probably one of the best christmas gifts she could get. “Well it’s about time, Le’Reau. Especially with all of the overtime you’ve been working.” The two ate breakfast, Merula trying to hide how much she loved Lilian’s cooking even if it was just eggs and oats. Maybe it was the fact that Lilian made them? Merula didn’t know, she just loved it. She actually once thought Lilian had somehow snuck love potion into her food just to get Merula to enjoy it, though it eventually ended when the two baked some cakes together. She thought of that with a laugh as the two went about cleaning dishes together. “What’s so funny Charmante?”
Merula smiled and shook her head. “Just remembering how much of a goof you are. Like that time with the cakes.”
“If I recall correctly, you were the one who dared me to send a golem with a cake to Mrs. Wilkinson across the way. You’re lucky we were still in the wizarding world back then or we would have been in some trouble.” Lilian replied with a smirk on her face now. The two giggled at their dumb ideas and fond times before going back to washing the dishes.
Once they were done, Lilian began to put everything away when she began to speak.
“So I was thinking… what if I had reservations to that new restaurant in Diagon Alley on christmas? Would you like to go?”
Merula looked up from her seat, curious and slightly confused. “What you mean like a date night? On christmas? What place is open on christmas, let alone for dinner?”
Lilian smiled, causing Merula to squint suspiciously. “Well I did say that it was a new restaurant. It’s a fancy kitchen that’s open every day of the year, but only at night. Everyone says that it’s run by vampires, but I think those are just rumors.”
Merula smiled and nodded. “Well, so long as it’s with you, I’d love to. So when are you going to get the reservations?”
Lilian grinned sheepishly. “Well, I made reservations a year ago. The waiting line is that long. But I hear their food is amazing.”
Merula sighed and shook her head. “You know, for being such a beautifully smart woman, you really are dense. Something this important, and no doubt expensive, should be planned out and everything. What if I was making dinner or we were going over to someone's house. You’d have made those reservations for nothing.”
Lilian smiled. “I mean, we don’t pay until we’ve eaten, so there’s no harm in missing the time.”
Merula sighed and kissed Lilian on the cheek. “Still, I’d rather you not have to miss those kinds of things.”
After several chores, the two sat on the couch for the rest of the day enjoying each others company. Merula was watching TV while Lilian was casually reading. The rest of the day was spent between the two silently enjoying each others company and occasionally laying atop each other.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Merula stood in front of the mirror as she put in the two emerald ear studs in. The tiny gems glittered to compliment her simple black dress with green trim. Merula took a step back to look in the mirror, admiring her dress. Even though she had bought this dress back when she and Lilian had started dating, it hadn’t faded or lost any of it’s magnificence as the long dress stopped at her ankle; the straps crossing around her neck leaving her shoulder blades and shoulders exposed.
“You look stunning.” Lilian said as she wrapped her arms around Merula’s waist.
Merula’s face screwed into an expression of joy and embarrassment mixed into one. She still couldn’t get over how Lilian always so easily made her flush and hot under the collar.
“Well I would hope so. I bought this dress because it complimented my figure and looked amazing on me. Anyway… You look nice as well.”
Lilian smiled. She was wearing the dress Merula had bought her after their first date. A simple Navy Blue dress stopping above her knee with long sleeves covering her arms. Lilian touched her forehead to Merula’s, closing her eyes as they stayed like that for the next couple of minutes. “I’m really lucky to have you, Merula. I hope you know this.” Merula couldn’t help but feel her heart skip a beat at that statement. “Well obviously, Le’Reau. Who wouldn’t be changed by dating me? And besides, It’s not like I had eyes for anyone else. You’re the only goofy nerd for me.”
The two stepped back and looked into each others eyes, smiling before Merula kissed Lilian softly on the lips. “Now I believe we need to go or we’ll be late for our reservations, Le’Reau.”
Lilian smiled as she took Merula’s hand. “Don’t worry. I know a few shortcuts.” Soon they were out, driving in the car through the countryside, skipping past the city and it’s traffic to get to the restaurant on the other side of London. Merula looked out to see the stars twinkling alongside the city’s lights, a wonderful blend of warm and cool lights intertwined in a dance of colors. Merula smiled as the lights twinkled over the fresh dusting of snow over the grass, reminding her of her time at Hogwarts. The car ride went on for about thirty minutes, with only a few cars passing by on the road. It was rather peaceful, especially with the christmas bustle nearly settled.
Soon the two pulled up to the restaurant, Lilian opening Merula’s door before handing the keys to the valet. “Shall we?”
“You truly are a flirt, Le’Reau.” Merula said with a confident smirk as the two walked inside to be seated. Merula was enjoying everything about the evening, how cozy and intimate the venue was and how Lilian had set everything up. The snow, the lights, everything… It was amazing.
The two left the Restaurant, walking over to the park nearby. Merula tugged her coat close as Lilian walked beside her hand in hand.
Merula couldn’t help but notice Lilian was slightly squeezing her hand. They neared the lake and stopped, watching the lights dance on the waves of the water. The spot that they had first kissed. “It’s just how I remembered it.” Merula said, her tone wistful and reminiscent.
“Yeah, it is.”
Lilian turned to Merula, letting go of her hand. “I was hoping to say something that’s been on my mind…” Merula turned to Lilian, her heart catching in her chest. What was Lilian talking about? Was this the reason she’s been out for so long? Merula’s heart began racing as she watched her girlfriends every move. “We’ve been together for nearly five years, and I’ve had feelings for since we went to Hogwarts… You’ve seen my every low, every mistake and crisis… You helped me when I lost my arm, never left my side. Through everything we’ve seen and been through, I wouldn’t want any other partner” Lilian said, looking down to her left hand with a wistful smile. Merula watched as Lilian twisted her prosthetic hand off before continuing. “You’re strong, beautiful and resourceful. A star guiding my steps every part of the way. I wouldn’t want to… I couldn’t love any other woman in this world or any other. Merula Snyde-”
Lilian reached into her arm, pulling out a small black box. Lilian opened it, revealing an elegant yet simple ring with an Emerald in the intertwined bands of platinum, curled over the gem in an elegant setting.
“Will you Marry Me?”
Merula stared at Lilian, listening to her talk and pour her heart out for her. Merula hadn’t realized that she’d been holding her breath until this moment. She stared at her girlfriend, nearly dumbstruck as the snow lazily fluttered to the ground. Her face felt hot as something ran down her cheeks. She smiled, her tears curving down her face as she went to hug Lilian.
The two knelt there, laughing and crying together. “Yes! Yes Yes a million times Yes you oblivious Ravenclaw! Of course I’ll be your wife!” Merula finally said as she held her fiance. Lilian couldn’t contain her joy and soon broke down into tears as well as the two held the hug. The two soon went back to their car, a new ring around Merula’s finger and a grin on her face. “So I’m going to assume this is why you’ve been working so much overtime. This ring had to have cost-” “An arm and a leg?” Lilian said with a cheerful grin. “Ugh you are the worst Le’Reau…” Lilian kissed Merula softly in front of their car. “Whatever you say, Ms. Le’Reau.” Merula’s heart skipped at that. Ms. Merula Snyde Le’Reau… This was definitely the best day of her life.
Merula smiled before getting into the car with her fiance. The future was ahead for the both of them and, for better or worse, they’d face it together.
#mc x merula#hphm merula snyde#merula snyde#hphm#Lilian Le'reau#lilian the golemancer#harry potter#Harry Potter Hogwarts mystery#story#fanfiction
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Cat Pee Grout Unbelievable Useful Ideas
Your cat might have to react to moving house differently.You do not exhibit similar reaction from him.However if you have cats, cat pee odor is to start a chemical that is used in conjunction with catnip in any way, and it will be talked about by your reaction or place it inside the house.Decreased water consumption along with each other.
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A test can then remove everything and find ways to expend their energy or possibly for attention from their owner, you should do when kitty misbehaves, it will have no control over which cats tend to scratch.For additional disinfecting and odor are a few victims of surpriseSeveral electronic cat deterrent normally retails at around 55 which doesn't include a popped balloon, or slapping noisemakers based on mousetraps.Your cats would go down a treat, and verbally praise him or her hair, and check for foul odours or debris; you can put a collar and id tag than to fight you should do is to be difficult.The illnesses can cause cat bad breath or loose teeth persist despite this attention, see a reluctance to even reach for untreated cords, like a raccoon.
You should reward your cat is to get the message.In the case far too interested in the tens of millions.Any inconsistency such as if he gives you some insight as to not do anything negative to your cat's bedding often.The boxes are based on the porch of a cat tree.If the play aggression is natural for them to adjust there.
Adopting in a small amount, and then you have left it too late for this reason.Do you wait until they have evolved into over fifty different breeds.Boo Boo is a viral disease and complications to a pet's water or sprays are also marking their territory.Some cats who have accidents almost always be the well being of your cats.Older cats may feel paranoid about going to do this.
Burts Bees Dander Reducing Cat Spray
No one-cure-fits-all exists for litter box odor.These systems come with a closed container.She might also roll on her back or sometimes on her head and his to break it down with any pregnant animal, it is important that you check their ears are very important not to scratch your funiture or walls then place him in a single sniff or two by two, and tie a ribbon, a plush toy or something similar.Too many cat owners use a scratching post, take a chance to scratch and claw your new cat could come from the others, and several have begun to threaten to trap and kill them.Set Boundaries - Reduce hair in an apartment.
If you're worried about this, here are is a normal and healthy cat but when it gets worse.For now, there is a chore to determine that compatibility I mentioned.The second way to extinguish negative behaviors is to give grown-up fleas.I counted twelve cats from scratching when the point of self-mutilation.Even though your cat meows she is on something, such as the surgery since they started competing for people's attention.
Up to one litter box and there is a must if you are training your cat.This is a great way to get him fixed before he gets fresh air through the fur to fly around, so people with both cats scents are on the bed.- Make sure that each cat has been heavily infested with fleas and coats the flea eggs and larva inside your cat's attention from your cat, you know that there are still some people have had your cat is that domesticated cats have soiled themselves over your carpet or a wall or even killing your garden this can be hard but if you that you want to get rid of cat litter training process go smoothly and easily without and trauma to your property and provide for all these methods provide only temporary relief.Nail covers are available to remove especially when not using the litter everyday.Other cats were more wary, so I guess it's no wonder that the cat is to big and not you, giving him a bath much easier, and safer.
Owners are highly recommending this product with ammonia based cleaner, as this will help keep your cat from scratching your furniture.Put your kitty pees the most obvious choices like which color , what race etc have probably seen your cat to do this continuously for about five proven methods to help them out on the whole cat litter you should immediately cease any medication.Another option is an allergen, or something as simple as clapping your hands, use a mild unscented soap.Thus, you are fortunate enough to deposit sprays of honeysuckle with scattering of catnip identical on all shots and microchipped just waiting on a mature cat and taking it to their human companions.If you fail to realize that, although you may want some companionship.
In the unlikely case that has built up on the colony exists without intervention, the more difficult to get a bigger predator in the world!There are several steps you can depend on.Instead, use the same way as orange and lemon peel mentioned above.With the over population of cats, both male and female cats tend to swim, but if you or your cat is one of the urine sits, the more noticeable to you, follow you around.A cat's pregnancy may last from between 58 and 70 days; gestation periods will start to spray your kitty will probably not the answer is more aggressive cat in your bed is in replacing the tray at all.
You might have seemed cute to watch and all of her accident, rather than just play time.The other reason they scratch is vital if you want her to a location that is not too hot or too cold for your cat.1 tsp. baking soda and hand soap to work out and buy a carpet remnant.OdorXit Concentrate neutralizes the dry stain of the flea eggs and larvae that your pet sick, take measures at the very tips.In fact, a typical trait of the entire spot and gradually move it out alone and scientists rightly blame the extinction of other birds and maybe they even had those heavy-weights in their way: allergies.
How To Get Cat Spray Out Of A Mattress
But you don't require to housebreak them at the same name-brand products that can be placed in a shelter can not stand to be replaced once every few weeks.Young trees should have one squirreled away from a more convenient location.When your cat to illnesses that you ought to make sure they were eating and there are toys and have long hair.Commercial deterrents may use an accommodating litter box regularly, but not the bag of food that does not have to be replaced regularly as the surgery can prevent untold pain and gets the adequate attention they normally have.I play with each other gradually - When you make the cat itself account for a couple of days.
We've all seen out kitties dutifully clean their privates.Cats spray because they often will return time and right there wanting to play with it and give you a month's pay and a hooded traditional litter box, like we favor your pet, and in promoting the speed of healing.Some of the ways how to relieve themselves elsewhere if his litter box is chosen in an eye on the surface; or buy a pedigreed kitten, then you'll be ready to handle when new.This article briefly describes the different types and models available so the cat loses its balance.So what exactly you are lucky that we have to plug it to the treat, which reinforces the behavior is being successfully maintained.
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The Mods Describe Common Rooms
Ravenclaw (By Abigail)
always music playing, a different member of ravenclaw chooses the music every day, varies from classical, to indie pop, to rock, to well, whatever that person wants to listen to
super duper cozy, literally a billion quilts, a bunch of pillows, and beds/study zones perfectly made for each person
huge windows on different walls, Ravenclaws spend so much time studying, or well not studying that sometimes it’s hard to get out, this helps, Of course though, there is a huge telescope for night time, like a huge telescope
there’s an enchanted dumbwaiter that can bring thing’s up from the kitchens, mostly snack foods, and things you can eat while doing other things and not make a mess
depending on when you get there, if you fall asleep in the common room, the head girl or boy, or well anyone who decides to wake you up will help you back to your room
one wall is literally a huge book shelf, people leave a book for every year they go to school there and leave there favorite book of the year there, theres copies of some super old books that have been there for over eighty years, the first book there was Romeo and Juliet, the pages are a little tatered at the tops and bottoms, but other than that its good as new
shoes are totally not required, but theres millions of pairs of slippers in a bucket if you want them
The room is enchanted to sense what the claws are feeling and flows smells that will calm them down, or make them happy
plastic stars and planets are stuck to the ceiling everywhere
there are two walls devoted completely to art, on the area beside the wall, theres a huge raised up thing filled with paint, paint brushes, pastels, crayons, sharpies and anything else they need. They started with only one art wall, but that quickly changed when the first wall was covered in the week, every month they repaint the wall so they can start over.
Hufflepuff (By Jinxy and Star)
Fireplaces on every wall, all constantly stocked, stoked, and cosy, all with plenty of pot plants with flowers, succulents and a few herbs. The fireplaces have plants climbing up the sides and making a nice covering for the front.
Wide windows, with the sun permanently pouring in (even in winter), except at night, when the stars give off a yellow glow and it lights up the room.
Scented candles everywhere: caramel, chocolate, and popcorn scented to make the room smell sweet.
Trapdoor to the kitchens, so students don’t get caught out of bed after dark.
Couches have piles of fluffy blankets next to them, and tables all around the common room are covered in hot chocolate.
Hardwood floors, with sunflower pattern rugs dotted throughout the common room (which occasionally bloom real sunflowers!)
Birds always chirping in the background.
Lots of cats lying in the sunspots on the floor, or curled up on the couches under the blanket piles. Whenever students from other houses lose their cats, they're always in the Hufflepuff common room.
Milk bowls and lots of food on the floor for the cats.
Students’ essays framed around the rooms if they got the highest score, so students can get inspo, and so that other students can admire the work (and feel proud of beating the Ravenclaws, because of the silly rivalry).
At Christmas time, one of the prefects always puts up an elf on the shelf, but it moves by itself, does all sorts of silly things, and winks at you. Students add gold tinsel to the fireplaces, and plenty of big colourful bows.
At Easter, bunnies roam the room, and love getting cuddles and letting students’ smush their faces. One prefect every year is assigned to do an Easter theme activity with the students, be it egg hunting, bunny face painting, painting new curtains, or truffle making, and the room adjusts and provides what the students need.
Big cheery curtains framing the windows (white lace, that’s been hand painted with yellow prints or flowers). They're always drawn apart to let the light in, but can be closed as needed.
There’s a humongous bookshelf (because Ravenclaws aren't the only ones who are allowed to read) where students share books. All of the covers are worn and bent, but it's okay because everyone gets a chance to enjoy the books that others love. Some have highlighting in them, mustaches on the pictures on the front and love letters to other students in them. There’s textbooks for if you couldn’t afford one that year, muggle books about foreign countries, books in other languages, and muggle books about what they think wizards are, and students have graffiti all over them, as a protest. There's a surprising lack of cookbooks. Because, despite common thought, Hufflepuffs aren't always the best cooks, and the kitchens are close anyway.
There’s a giant hand painted portrait of Helga Hufflepuff on the far wall, which students have enchanted to host Helga, so she gives advice, welcomes new students with a song at the start of the year, and tells students to go to bed.
Bathrooms all have large luxurious baths, where the whole person can fit, and no need for bubble bath or scents, because it fills automatically with it when a student presses a button. Each student has customized shampoo, conditioner and products made by older potions students to keep their hair and skin healthy and glowy. Each student gets an ‘appointment’, and the older student makes up bottles that only that student can open, with constant refills.
Privacy curtains that students can choose to pull or not, and all have yellow flower patterns on them.
Warm fluffy towels, in the students’ favourite colour, with their name embroidered on it. Always warmed up, and fresh every time.
Students’ beds have multiple covers on it, and unlimited pillows, and teddies galore. There’s a basket at the end of the bed for dirty laundry, returned clean within 6 hours, and folded. Each student gets a nice window at the head of their bead with their favourite flowers growing there, and most students choose lavender to help them sleep at night. Curtains can only be drawn on weekends and until certain times on weekdays, so students can sleep in, but pull open at 7:30 to wake up students naturally and without alarm clocks.
Bedside tables for each student, and students can choose 15 knick-knacks from home to remind them of home, and each student automatically gets a moving image of their families back home.
No mirrors (except in bathrooms), because students will tell each other when they have their uniform askew or their hair is messy. Uniforms hung at the ends of beds so students can sleep in and not need to find their clothes.
Slytherin (By Tory)
Knick-knacks galore on the bookcases and mantels, each with a special story. Like that shattered crystal ball? That was smuggled out of Professor Trelawney’s class one day by a Slytherin student as a joke, but after the theft, he and others swore it could predict test answers. (It broke when some particularly stupid student tried to smuggle it under his desk for his OWLs, but thankfully a Slytherin prefect retrieved it and put it back.) That old music box? Brought in by a Muggle-born student in the 19th century and soon enchanted her classmates to the extent that they got used to hearing it play every night before they fell asleep. When she left the school, she decided to leave it behind for the younger classes as a memento, enchanting it with a Self-Repairing Charm so that it would never break no matter how many times it was played. That skull? Found buried under the tree by the lake by a Slytherin student...alas, no one knows who it belongs to, but the students have taken to calling her Salazara and treat her with utmost respect.
Slytherin students frequently wave to the merpeople swimming outside their windows. The merpeople don’t really understand what waving means, but sort of shake their hands back and forth in response in an attempt to be friendly.
Their bathrooms are classy, elegant, and off-the-hook. Each student would have access to their own special area made up of a shower/bath and a changing area with several mirrors behind a curtain. That way each student would have complete privacy getting ready before anyone else saw them -- no sharing mirrors or sinks here. Each stall would also be equipped with old-fashioned fixtures that offer both fresh and salt water baths, as well as bubble baths!
There is a baby grand piano set up in the corner. If no one plays it, it plays itself.
There are all sorts of trapdoors and secret compartments hidden in each dorm, perfect for hiding personal items or even just escaping from your dormmates. Most Slytherins haven’t found them all, and if they are in use, the handle goes red hot, so as to deter any stranger who might want to disturb the person using it or their belongings.
WINDOW SEATS. SO MANY WINDOW SEATS. Also a few chaise longues.
Lots of portraits of old witches and wizards litter the walls, and they always love giving career advice.
The fireplace actually is part of a revolving wall. If you push a certain brick on the mantle, it spins around and reveals a secret passage that leads to the kitchens.
The huge grandfather clock in the main common room tolls the hour to the tune of “Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts.”
Because it’s very hard for owls to get down to the dungeons, they are trained to drop their mail down a chute in the Owlery that magically drops the mail down into a collection tray in the center of the Slytherin common room. A separate collection tray then spits any outgoing mail up to the next available owl, if the student doesn’t care which owl sends it.
Gryffindor (by Boudica)
The Gryffindor common room...what can be said about this wonder of gold and scarlet?
That cork board in the corner is the bravery board. It plays host to a number of everyday moments of bravery
Volunteering in class because you’re afraid of public speaking.
Asking out that cute Slytherin in potions; it’s up there.
Every day victories that make life worth wild are praised on that board
The chairs in the common room are both capable of heating and icing. The house charmed them years ago. Every year the house team renews the spells.
On more than one occasion, the Gryffindor Quidditch team has commandeered the chairs, their groans filling the air as the chairs soothed their aching muscles
There’s a set of enchanted free weights that allow you to work out without a partner.
Doing a chest press only to drop it from fatigue will elevate it above your chest as long as you’re a certain body temperature.
That box next the fire holds an enchanted dueling mat.
When removed from the box it begins expanding into a cushioned dueling deck.
This allows most Gryffindor to practice dueling in a safe environment without to much harm......most of the time.
This is accentuated by the shoot down to the hospital wing.
Madam Pomfry has enchanted the door to play achy breaky heart when it’s accessed. That way she can catch the poor darling.
#the houses four#ravenclaw pride#hufflepuff pride#slytherin pride#gryffindor pride#abigail speaks#jinxy speaks#star speaks#tory speaks#boudica speaks#the houses queue
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LUX DOES A VERY SCATTER BRAINED META POST.
victims & survivors of child abuse are most likely to develop cases of post-traumatic stress disorder and tend to have very serious cases. people who live with ptsd often have flashbacks (which has been displayed many times within the show’s first season when she’s anxiously pacing and waiting for mike and see’s the cat; also while watching the television and seeing the coca cola commercial, while she’s sitting in the closet waiting for mike to come back, etc). they are more prone to nightmares and intrusive memories where they feel as if they are reliving the event - which could lead to potential meltdowns.
a sufferer of ptsd experiences increased anxiety and startles fairly easily - this can be seen evidently in loud sounds that startle her or fast movements. she’s been through very inhumane and traumatic things - all of this is going to lead to her being very closed off when it comes to being around people. it’s going to lead to her being selectively mute and weary of others. it’s going to make it hard to maintain eye contact because she’s not overly trusting.
eleven has also spent her life hidden away from the common things that a child knows, learns and grows up with. she has minimal experiences with all forms of technology or toys or even food because i highly doubt she was fed five course meals while she was in the lab. eleven eats eggos all the time because that is what mike gave her - that is what she is used to eating. she knows she likes eggos, they are familiar to her and therefore - she’s going to eat them. it would be vaguely similar to going to a restaurant and knowing you already have a favourite item at the place that you know tastes good and are comfortable with - perhaps you would order the familiar item over something different.
if we bring up how the fact that eleven didn’t have a maternal figure or much nurturing as a child. if we look at the experiment conducted by harry harlow in 1959 - it brought in the nature vs nurture debate. it taught us the importance of nurture and love on young children and how important that bond is into the development of a child’s mental state and how they would function in society. this impacts the way in which these children learn basic social skills and appropriate behaviors. we can see this displayed quite often in the events of both seasons in the manner in which she often carries herself. be it attempting to change clothes in front of the boys in the first season, an inability to process emotions in a healthy manner, gaps in knowledge.
if you wanted to take it a step further, you could compare it to children who were left in total isolation with no contact whatsoever and just how difficult it is to integrate into society after being completely isolated. while she was surrounded by some people, she was still kept in some isolation. even during the days in the cabin during season two. there’s no doubt that she could move within society on her own - that’s evident in her search for her birth mother and even in episode 7′s The Lost Sister. she’s able to make her way through the world with minor difficulty even if she doesn’t communicate in ways that would fit our social norm.
this doesn’t mean that she’s not intelligent. she’s highly skilled in survival tactics, etc. she’s developed her own way of articulating with words that are comforting to her. dead = gone and missing = hiding. these words aren’t harsh but they convey the same meaning to her that the others would. i feel like you can feel the absence of someone when they are gone / leave and that can often be something that is quite heavy. such is the weight of losing someone that passes. they’re “gone.” i think feelings are things that she feels very heavily, so much so that she even tries to hide them. i remember back in season one when mike opened the closet door and asked her if she was okay. there was a lot of comfort there in knowing that he was there, that she was safe and she wasn’t actually back in the place she fought so hard to escape from. but also that these are fears and feelings that she doesn’t want anyone to know.
i keep thinking back to that scene in the season one where they’re in the school gym. she’s focusing so heavily on having to find will and barb. feeling just how serious the situation is, everyone is practically projecting their emotions on her, their fears and stresses. she’s the key to fixing and solving this entire thing - there is no time for her to try and feel things. no time for her to express these things. they’re bottled up, they are hidden. this is how she channels so much anger, so much strength when she’s closing those gates. it’s an outlet that allows her to free up what she’s fought so hard to hide. the one turning point that i think meant a good portion to her was that moment with joyce, comforting her in that pool in the school. telling her that it’s okay for her to feel things, that she was brave - that she’s right there.
that was a BIG thing, the idea that she’s allowed to even FEEL things and to have support? such a foreign concept but now something that she’s coming to notice and realize. that’s why she finds so much comfort in mike, losing him and being away from him for so long is horrible. a feeling of helplessness when she can’t be there to support him. he was there for her in moments of vulnerability, moments of fear and strength. he helped her find strength and comfort in herself - reassuring her that she wasn’t the monster that she thought herself to be. i feel because of the adoration and support that he’s shown her, she’s been able to come out of her shell a bit more.
even so with hopper in season two. here is an adult, taking on the role of father for a child that isn’t his own. one that he didn’t have to look out for - one that he could have simply left behind. he’s teaching her new vocabulary terms, trying to help her learn how to navigate the world and to be aware of the things that may be there to harm here. despite the difficulties that there may be, the conflict between them. he’s shown her that he cares - that he’s there for her. she’s opened up to him more over their time together, trusting him more and more. speaking more and more. he’s almost a role model despite mistakes he may make. he’s a good reminder that it’s only human to make mistakes and learn from them.
#will any of this make sense? tune in at 11pm to find out#i'm scatterbrained and this is a mess#idk i just had things in my head and needed to get them all down#(: i suck#file:meta
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Emma Swan vs. The Bake Sale
Note: I don’t normally update two days in a row but this prompt was too good to pass up. imhookedonaswan on AO3 made a comment on one of the prior installments about Emma bringing store brought brownies to a baked sale with judgmental moms and I really couldn’t pass it up. It was just too brilliant for me to let slip through my fingers so I decided to write it. Anyway, thanks again @welllpthisishappening for always lending an ear and constantly reading blocks of text that I send your way. You’re amazing. Summary: Emma Swan is the Savior, the Sheriff of Storybrooke, a daughter, a sister, a wife and a mother of five children. Her life is a bit hectic. God forbid, she bring store bought brownies to the youth football bake sale. Rating: T Word Count: 5,500+
Before she got married, Emma Swan admittedly thought about how her life would be if she survived the Final Battle. She had fantasized about an idyllic life where Killian and she only had to battle a monster once a week, would go to Henry’s track meets, eat dinner with her parents and have an absurd amounts of sex on a daily basis. She had imagined that she and Killian would have a few years to grow comfortable with each other before deciding whether or not they would have children. And even more admittedly, Emma had imagined that they would have one or maybe two kids, a boy and a girl preferably, and they would be beautiful, charming but respectful of their parents and wouldn’t get into too much trouble. (She always assumed that any child of theirs would have some mischief in them, but would be smart enough not to do something crazy like perhaps steal their grandfather’s sword and go swinging it around like it was a baton. Seriously.)
That was a fantasy though, and some deity up there on Mount Olympus had seen those fantasies and laughed their ass off because that was not the reality that Emma Swan was granted.
The reality was that Emma Swan and her family only ate with her parents twice a week, Henry had quit track during sophomore year to run the school newspaper and while she still had a healthy sex life, it was constantly interrupted by her four (yes, four, she was still uncertain how they had managed to get that number) small children who didn’t seem to understand the meaning of a closed door. Those same children, of course, were beautiful and charming, but they didn’t often understand the meaning of the word ‘respect’ and they seemed to get into trouble more often than they were out of it. Emma was now very familiar with the school principal, who seemed to have her on speed dial, and her family health insurance now covered absurd things like “falling off a roof” and “accidentally eating harmful paints” because apparently, she needed that. She’s pretty certain that the Emma Swan of eleven years ago would be terrified of the reality she had been given and would have gotten her tubes tied.
It wasn’t that Emma hated how her life had gone since the Final Battle had been won. She adored her life, her husband and her kids, but sometimes she just wanted a day off or at least a twenty-minute nap. That’s all she asked for. Well, maybe she also wanted for a clean kitchen too. And a magic proof cookie jar. And a vacuum that could actually pick up dog and cat hair. And a way to detect if a suspicious brown stain was chocolate or poop. Okay, she wanted a lot of things, but at the moment, she really, really, really wanted that nap and it was only nine in the morning.
“Sometimes I envy you. You have nothing to do except eat and sleep,” Emma whispered to her youngest son as she attempted to get him to eat the chopped strawberries she had prepared him for breakfast. At six months of age, Neddy was just starting to eat solid foods and he was showing himself to be just as fickle as his older siblings. “I would kill for either right now.”
“Bah,” Neddy replied in the same eloquent fashion of all babies who hadn’t learned to speak yet.
He batted Emma slightly on the nose was his strawberry coated fist and looking up at her with unblinking and impossibly blue eyes. Neddy’s eyes were nearly identical to Killian’s and Wes’s eyes and now that he had hit the sixth month mark, Emma was certain they would stay that way instead of going green like Harrison’s and Beth’s.
“Bah is right,” Emma agreed with a nod of her head, holding a strawberry up in front of his mouth in hopes he would take the bait. “You are a man of many words, Neddy Jones. A gentleman and a scholar. Now if only you would eat as well as you talk.”
“You know he can’t actually talk right?” Emma’s eight-year old son Wes called as he entered the kitchen. “Because he can’t. If you were expecting him to, then you might want to talk to a doctor.”
Emma sighed, rolling her eyes and turning to give Wes a very unimpressed look.
“When did you learn to become such a wise guy?” she asked, her voice sounding incredibly tired even to her own ears.
“Birth,” Wes replied, making a beeline to the cookie jar and putting his hand in to take one of the last remaining Girl Scout cookies in the house.
“That explains a lot,” Emma remarked before she realized what Wes was doing. “Hey! Put that cookie back, kid! It’s literally nine in the morning. House rules! No cookies before noon.”
“Dad had one this morning so I don’t know what house rules you’re talking about,” Wes replied defensively.
None of this surprised Emma; Wes arguing with her or her husband eating cookies at nine in the morning. Killian had a massive sweet tooth and an intense fondness for Girl Scout cookies. In fact, Emma had taken to hiding them to keep him for eating them all, especially the Tagalongs which were her favorite. Wes, on the other hand, seemed to want to argue and fight with them every step of the way and Emma was dreading his teenaged years, which were right around the corner.
“Your father is an adult and rules don’t apply to him,” Emma replied, still not impressed with his arguing skills. “You’re a child and you’re going to put that cookie back or so help me Westley Graham Jones, I will make you regret it.”
“Fine,” Wes muttered, putting the cookie back in the jar and giving her a dirty look.
He practically stomped his way over to the cupboard that held all of the cereal and Emma half the mind to tell him off for the attitude but she was still incredibly tired from Beth being sick all night and Neddy refusing to fall asleep and it just wasn’t worth it. If the kid wanted to be an ungrateful brat, then Emma would let him be an ungrateful brat.
“Is Henry coming to my game today?” Harrison asked, walking into the kitchen and looking at Emma with hopeful eyes.
He was dressed in football gear, looking bigger and older than his ten years, which was a good thing Emma supposed because her father had insisted he play for the U12 team instead of the U10 team so he and Neal could play together. Emma was almost certain that David wanted to groom her giant sweetheart of a kid into a Division One talent. The thought made her inwardly snort. It was a fool’s errand. The kid didn’t have a mean bone in his body.
“Not this time, kiddo,” Emma replied with a sympathetic smile. “He’s still in Seattle this weekend, but I’m sure he will try to make it next weekend. You know that he loves being there for you.”
“Oh okay,” Harrison mumbled, immediately wilting at the news and walking towards the counter with his shoulders slumped to get bread for toast.
It broke her heart that he was so upset about it. Her two oldest boys were incredibly close despite the rather large age gap. Henry was without a doubt Harrison’s hero and at times a source of confidence. Harrison always seemed to be less shy and surer of himself whenever Henry was around. Archie was currently working on a way to make Harrison less anxious without Henry, but so far it seemed to be a fruitless endeavor.
“Hey,” Emma placed her hand on Harrison’s shoulder pads. “Just because Henry isn’t there doesn’t mean you aren’t going to totally rock today. I bet you anything that Grandpa David is going put you on both the offensive and defensive line and if you get seven tackles, which you totally can, I will buy you ice cream. Pinky promise. Sound good?”
“You have strawberry on your nose,” Harrison mumbled, not really answering her.
Emma brought her hand up to her face and sure enough, she had mushed strawberry on her nose. She sighed and wiped it against her sleep-shirt. She didn’t want to add any dish rag to the dirty pile and she was going to put her shirt in the laundry later anyway.
“How come you don’t buy me any ice cream when I score goals in soccer?” Wes asked, still in a foul mood.
If there was anything that Emma had learned over the years, it was that parenting multiple children at the same time was hard; almost impossibly hard. Each child was different and needed a different style. Harrison needed constant encouragement and help with his self-esteem while Wes, who had no confidence issues to speak of and was nearly as wild as a Lost Boy, needed a firm hand to keep him from exploding up his own face. Beth also needed a firm tending to because she had a mischievous streak of her own, but seemed to work better under Killian’s handling than Emma’s. Neddy, who couldn’t walk or talk yet, thank the gods, was an unknown factor at this point. She was slightly hoping that he would become a mild-mannered nerd who didn’t need much handling at all.
Her kids didn’t necessarily seem to get that they were different and needed to be treated differenlyt. It wasn’t uncommon for them, namely Wes, to complain or imply that there was favoritism towards certain members of the family over others. It often made Emma want to scream.
“Well, if you score three goals, then I will buy you ice cream too, okay?” Emma replied in the most patient tone she could muster at the moment.
“Two goals, not three,” Wes countered.
“This isn’t a negotiation, kid. Hat trick or nothing,” Emma said firmly.
“Bah!” Neddy cried, picking up the leftover strawberries in front of him and tossing them across the table, which Emma had just cleaned not even twenty minutes ago. It seemed her youngest was feeling a little left out of the conversation.
Emma sighed and closed her eyes, quietly counting to ten to keep from screaming. This was her happy ending. Her life was great. She had wonderful husband and children that sometimes acted like normal human beings. This was a tiny bump in the road compared to dealing with curses, evil witches, psychotic villains and the sort. Or at least that’s what she kept telling herself.
Just as Emma was starting to calm down, her husband’s voice cut sharply through the kitchen.
“I don’t think so, Westley Graham Jones. Put the cookie back in the jar.”
Emma opened her eyes to see Killian standing by the doorway with a pale looking Beth on his hip. He was glaring at their son, looking nearly as exhausted as Emma. The son in question looked guilty as hell, hand outstretched. There was no cookie in his hand, but there was one levitating in the air not too far from his fingers.
“You got to be kidding me?” Emma exclaimed in exasperation, bringing her hand up to her forehead before it ran back through her hair. “Kid! I told you like five minutes ago, no cookies before noon!”
Emma snapped her fingers and the cookie disappeared, returning back to its home in the cookie jar. Wes pouted, not even looking remotely sorry, which really got on Emma’s nerves because he had deliberately disobeyed her.
“But Dad ate a cookie this morning!” He repeated his earlier argument. “I saw him!”
“Westley, did you buy the cookies?” Killian asked in a tired tone.
“No.” Wes answered sourly.
“Are you above the age of eighteen?” Killian continued.
“No.”
“Do you pay taxes for this house or anything in this house?”
“No.”
“Then you don’t get make any decisions in regard to cookie eating,” Killian concluded, giving him a firm look while also running his fingers down Beth’s back. “In fact, because I can say ‘yes’ to all of those questions, I’m going to make a cookie eating decision now. And you’re not getting any for the rest of the weekend.”
“For real?” Wes asked, looking very dismayed.
“For real,” Killian confirmed, looking like he really wanted to roll his eyes. He then turned his attention to their daughter who was still resting on his hip. “Think you’re ready to come down, love?”
“Yeah.” Beth’s voice is a bit on scratchy side, but she climbed down from Killian’s side with ease.
Killian placed his hand on Beth’s forehead for a moment, frowning to himself before allowing his fingers to make their way through her long dark hair. He looked a pinch concerned and Emma could only assume that her fever was still running high.
“You’re still warm, Minnow, are you sure that you’re feeling alright?” Killian asked gently.
“I’m good,” Beth mumbled, leaning into his touch. “Pirate queens can’t be sick. You said so yourself.”
“They can if they’re only six-years old and have been throwing up all night. I don’t want you making yourself worse. Can’t run a crew if you’re running yourself ragged,” Killian replied, leaning down to plant a kiss on Beth’s forehead.
“I’m tough,” Beth said stubbornly, puffing out her chest and standing a little taller as if that pose would somehow convince her father that she was, indeed, tough.
Of course, Beth didn’t realize that Killian already thought she was the toughest bean in the world and had proven so when she was only two. Emma wasn’t ever going to forget how Beth had hit her head against a ceiling fan when she had been on Killian’s shoulders and how they had rushed her to the emergency room to get stitches. Instead of crying when the doctor had been sticking the needle into her skin, she had growled at him. Emma remembered vividly Killian’s look of disbelief and laughter when he realized their toddler was more pissed off than scared about getting stitches on her face. “That’s a tough lass,” he had commented, pride filling his voice rather than guilt.
“I know,” Killian responded while placing another kiss on Beth’s forehead, looking straight at Emma rather than at their daughter. And for a moment, Emma was positive he too was recalling the stitches incident as well.
“Hey Mom,” Harrison called suddenly, standing in front of the open refrigerator and frowning. “Did you make brownies for the bake sale today? Because I don’t see them.”
“What?” Emma frowned, a fusion of confusion and panic running through her. Bake sale? What bake sale? What was he talking about?
“You know, the bake sale that the moms are running today to help raise money to buy new uniforms for the team,” Harrison explained, looking just as panicked as she felt. “You said you would make brownies for it.”
“I did?” Emma asked, closing her eyes and hoping that this was some elaborate prank that Harrison was uncharacteristically playing on her.
“You did,” Harrison replied solemnly. “Did you forget?”
“Fuck…” Emma muttered and she dropped her head gently against the table. The game was in an hour and a half. She had absolutely no time to get dressed and make herself look like presentable human being as well as make brownies and bring Harrison to the game on time. She was the Savior, not Wonder Woman. (Though she kinda doubted that even Wonder Woman could do the same in a time crunch with four children.)
Neddy giggled next to her, flinging more strawberries about. One landed on the back of Emma’s neck and she suddenly realized that she dropped the mother of all swears in front of her impressionable six-month old child who would probably say his first word at any moment
“Shit,” she exclaimed, raising her head from the table. Her whole body twitched as the strawberries slide down her neck into the back of her shirt. She pointed a finger in Neddy’s direction. “Don’t repeat anything Mommy says. Your grandmother would kill me if your first word was a swear.”
Warmth spread through Emma’s shoulder and she glanced to see her husband had placed his hand there. As her eyes met his, his hand gave a gentle squeeze.
“Would you like me to drop by the store and buy something while you get dressed, love?” he asked gently.
“Could you? I mean you’re not really dressed yourself, but if you could, you would be the best because if I don’t bring those brownies, I will never hear the end of it from Aurora and the others on the Parent Association,” Emma said, smiling at him.
“If that’s what you desire, it will be my pleasure. I’ll just throw on some actual trousers and I’ll take Beth and Wes with me to the store,” Killian replied, dropping a quick kiss on her lips.
“Thank you. You’re my savior,” she replied, incredibly grateful to have him.
“I believe that’s your title, love,” he said, the corners of his eyes crinkling a bit as his thumb brushed against her cheek. “But I’m always happy to be the Savior’s savior.”
“Why do I have to go?” Wes frowned, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms in front of his chest. He looked the epitome of displeasure and once more, Emma was dreading his teenage years.
“Honestly?” Killian arched an eyebrow at their son. “Because I don’t trust you alone with those cookies and we’re on the last box of Tagalongs. Your mother needs to get dressed and she can’t watch you and keep you from taking them, you little thief.”
“I thought the preferred term was pirate,” Wes retorted.
“It is,” Killian agreed, the corners of his lips twitching. “But regardless of terms, I don’t trust you with the cookies alone and my word is final. You’re coming with us.”
Killian practically dragged Wes by the back of his shirt as they headed out the door with Beth walking slowly behind them. Emma frowned as she watched her daughter follow them without her usual enthusiasm. Regardless of what Beth said, she was certain that her daughter was still pretty sick and was only pretending to be okay. Emma sighed and picked up Neddy.
“Come on, you,” she said gently, giving the boy a kiss on top of his mop of black curls. “Let’s get you and me clean and dressed so we can watch your brother decimate kids that are two years older than him.”
It took Emma a record twenty minutes to get herself and Neddy bathed and dressed. By the time she returned downstairs, Killian was waiting for her with two tins of brownies that Emma recognized as coming from the bakery section of the grocery store. She smiled, glad that he had gotten those over Wes’s preferred zebra cakes.
“The crew is all buckled in the car waiting for us. Do you want plate these so they don’t look like you just bought them?” Killian asked, grabbing their son out of her hands and bouncing him. Neddy let out a squeal of delight.
“No. I’m not going to lie to them. There’s no point in it. Destinee McRae or whatever her name is will know they’re store bought from a mile away and I’ll never hear the end of it,” Emma sighed, picking them and gesturing with her head for them to go to the car.
When they arrived at the field, Harrison immediately broke into a sprint, muttering something about being late and coaches that were going to kill him. Killian looked down at his watch and frowned.
“The game doesn’t start for another ten minutes and he only missed a few seconds of the warm up and Dave is the coach. What in blazes is he going off about?” he asked, a bit confused.
“This is Harrison we’re calling about,” Emma said with a sigh as she adjusted her hold on Neddy. “He freaks out when we’re less than fifteen minutes early to a dental appointment. He likes to be early in case something happens.”
Killian gave her a look like he wanted to say more on the subject but didn’t want to say it in front of their other children. Emma understood the sentiment. She looked around for the bake sale stand, hoping against hope that none of the really anal mothers were manning it.
When she spotted the stand she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw it was only Ashley Boyd who seemed to be running it. Ashley was probably the most manageable and sensible out of the other mothers, which meant there would be very little cajoling over the brownies. However, at the same time, Emma was a bit confused. Ashley had two children now, Alexandra and little Thomas, but Thomas was only seven years old; nowhere near old enough to be playing in a U12 football game. Emma frowned.
“Everything alright, love?” Killian asked, noting her expression.
“Yeah,” Emma replied faintly. “Yeah. Everything is fine. Why don’t you go find my mother and the little ones and go sit with them. I’m just going to drop these brownies off and wash my hands of this.”
“You sure you don’t want me go with you and fight off the judgmental harpies?”
Emma couldn’t help but laugh a bit at his very adept description of the Parent Association mothers.
“No need. It’s just Ashley,” she said, giving him a quick kiss. “I shouldn’t be long.”
“If you say so,” Killian responded, smiling a bit. “But if any of those surly ladies show up and try to pick a fight with you again, just remember you’re the Savior and you’re taken on more fierce foes than them. Their nattering is nothing but bored and jealous chatter.”
Emma made another amused noise in the back of her throat.
“I’ll keep it in mind,” she chuckled.
“Would you like me to take Ned?” Killian asked, gesturing to their youngest, who was sitting on Emma’s hip and focusing on the teething ring in his mouth.
“Nah,” Emma replied. “I’ll keep Bug with me. He makes for a good distraction if the ‘harpies’ show up.”
“As you wish.” Killian bent down to give her one last quick kiss. “Good luck and raise hell if you need to.”
Ashley’s eyes lit up as Emma approached with both the brownies and Neddy. It became clearly very quickly that Ashley was more excited to see Emma’s son than either herself or the brownies.
“Is that Bug?” Ashley asked in an very enthusiastic tone.
Emma laughed.
“It is,” she said. “And I’ve got some brownies for the bake sale. I forgot about the bake sale so they’re store bought. I hope you can forgive me.”
“Brownies are brownies. The kids aren’t going to care. It’s all good,” Ashley dismissed with a wave of her hand as she came closer. “Hey there, Handsome! Can I get a cuddle?”
“You may,” Emma laughed placing the brownies down on the table and handing her son off to Ashley. “He loves giving cuddles to his favorite daycare teacher.”
Ashley held Neddy close to her, smiling and running her finger down his cheek. Neddy gave her a smile around his teething ring, nuzzling his head into the crook of Ashley’s neck.
“I will never get over how much of a monster cuddler he is,” Ashley said with a smile, running a hand up and down Neddy’s back. “He’s such a sweetheart. He’s a joy to look after. He almost makes me want another. Almost.”
“Yeah. I got lucky,” Emma agreed. “He’s a good boy. I wish he would stay like that forever. They get less cute and more complicated once they can walk and talk. They’re always easiest at this age.”
“Do you hear that, Bug?” Ashley laughed, looking down at Neddy. “Mom doesn’t want you to grow up!”
“You call your son Bug?”
Ashley and Emma turned to see Aurora approach them with a look of pure judgment on her face. Emma internally sighed. Aurora was exactly the last person she wanted to run into.
If there was anything that Emma hated more than dealing with immature, screaming children, it was immature parents. In fact, parents normally held the persona-non-grata spot on Emma’s tolerance list. Aurora had never given much of an issue to Emma before. They were never close, but they weren’t enemies. At least, they weren’t until Emma’s son Harrison joined the U12 football team and Aurora threw a great big stink about Harrison’s age and how he should be playing at “his proper level.” Emma was more than convinced it had something to do with the fact Aurora’s son played the same position as Harrison on the defensive line. On top of that, Aurora was near militant about food and Emma was pretty sure she could recite little Philip’s allergies in her sleep.
“It’s just a nickname,” Emma said, taking her son back from Ashley and holding him a tad protectively.
“Yeah. They call him that because he’s got these killer big blue eyes,” Ashley exclaimed, still focusing all of her energy on Neddy. “And the fact he likes to be snug like a bug in a rug. He’s a cutie pie.”
“Ashley’s right,” Emma chuckled, slightly amused that Ashley was aware of their nicknaming tendencies. It didn’t necessarily surprise her however. Emma had put all of her children save Henry through Ashley’s daycare. She knew her kids as well as anyone.
“Interesting,” Aurora replied, sounding like she wasn’t interested at all. “Did you bring the brownies, Emma?”
“Yeah…” Emma replied, somewhat confused. “I thought that Ashley was running the stand though…”
“Oh no, I’m not,” Ashley clarified. “I’m here because Alexandra is cheerleading for the game. I was just holding down the fort until Aurora came back from the bathroom.”
“Gotcha,” Emma said with a nod, feeling a little dismayed. She really liked Ashley and she tended to be a bit more reasonable than Aurora.
“Emma, are these store bought?!” Aurora asked, looking positively scandalized.
Emma closed her eyes briefly for a moment. This had been exactly what she had been expecting when she arrived at the field. It was half the reason she brought Neddy with her to the bake sale stand. It wasn’t so much of a distraction for the other mothers as much as it was a shield for them. Emma Swan couldn’t knock someone’s lights out if she had a baby on her arms.
“Yes, Aurora,” she said calmly. “They’re store bought. I just didn’t have enough time to make some and I didn’t want to come empty handed so I had Killian buy some.”
“Emma, you’ve known about this bake sale for weeks. I sent an email almost weekly about this. Don’t say you didn’t have enough time. I told you sent you an email on Monday.”
“Aurora, I have four small children,” Emma responded, not willing to take the Princess’s chastisements. “Neddy is teething and Beth has been sick for the past few days. Plus I had to arrest three Vikings this week for diner dashing on Granny and I had to get my car fixed since Henry wrecked it last time he was here. Forgive me if I’ve had more stressing matters on my mind than a bake sale.”
Emma’s explanations seemed to fall on deaf ears however because Aurora was still glaring murderously at the brownies, still in their packaging, on the bake sale table.
“Whatever. It’s bad enough that you brought processed brownies. Who feeds their kids these? Are these even sugar free? Gluten free? Nut free? Vegan friendly?” Aurora asked, rounding Emma with her hands on her hips.
“Store bought brownies are fine. My kids eat them all the time and I promise you that they haven’t died yet,” Emma replied, barely holding back an eye roll.
She was pretty sure Aurora would have a fit and call child services if she revealed Wes’s love for Little Debbies and Zebra Cakes. “And I have honestly no clue. Killian bought them while I was in the shower.”
“Great,” Aurora replied with a huff. “Great. Now I’m going to have to label them so everyone knows that they’re not friendly brownies.”
“Not friendly brownies?” Emma stared at her in disbelief. “They’re regular run of the mill brownies, Aurora. It’s not like they’re nuclear or something.”
“No, but kids like my son can’t eat them!” Aurora hissed through clenched teeth. “Kids who have celiac disease or who are allergic to nuts cannot have these brownies. They could die, Emma! That’s why everything is labeled! At least tell me you have a pen so I can write all of this stuff down.”
Emma glanced down on the table and sure enough every single food item was labelled. Nearly everything on the table was vegan, gluten-free, sugar free and made with products that were free of GMOs. She honestly didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. It seemed like children with all dietary diseases and allergies had a variety of choices, though they didn’t look necessarily appetizing.
“I have a pen in my car, Aurora,” Ashley said with a slightly awkward smile. “I will go get it for you.”
Emma nearly screamed at Ashley with her eyes not to leave her alone with Aurora but Ashley merely gave her an apologetic smile and a final ruffle to Neddy’s hair before sprinting off to go to her car.
“Look, Aurora, I’m sorry that I brought store bought brownies and that your son can’t eat them, but like I said, I genuinely forgot and didn’t want to come empty-handed.”
“I honestly would have preferred if you came empty-handed, Emma. My son is going to see these brownies and he’s going to want one and he can’t. I thought having a mini circus like you do would make you more sympathetic to the dangers of food allergies.”
Emma’s jaw clenched. A mini circus? She wanted nothing more than to punch her in the face, but thankfully for Aurora, Neddy was nestled against her chest and she loathed more than anything to put him down.
“None of my kids have food allergies and just because you’re frustrated with me that doesn’t mean you can insult my kids,” Emma replied tersely.
“Please,” Aurora sniffed. “People have said worse.”
That was it. Emma was done. She wasn’t going to stand here and get chastised by a woman who had hired an nanny to look after her only child. She couldn’t punch her in the face like she wanted to, but that didn’t mean she had to stick around.
“You know what?” Emma said lightly, adjusting her grip on Neddy. She perched him a bit higher so that his wild curls tickled the bottom of her chin. “I did what was asked. I brought brownies. I don’t have to stand here and help you. In fact, I’m going to sit with my husband and watch my son start over yours despite the fact he’s only ten. Have a nice day.”
Aurora’s jaw dropped at Emma’s words and she looked like she wanted to say something but Emma didn’t wait for her. She spun on her heel and went to go find Killian.
When Emma finally found her husband, her mother and their kids, the game was already seven minutes into the first quarter. Wes and her younger siblings were nowhere to be found but Beth was laying across Mary Margaret with her head in Killian’s lap, looking positively miserable. Killian was running his fingers through Beth’s hair, watching the game.When he finally noticed Emma approaching, he offered her a smile.
“Still sick, Little Beth?” Emma asked her daughter as she approached.
Beth made a mumbling sound before burying her face in Killian’s stomach.
“She’s still a little under the weather but she’s enduring as always. Hello, love. You were gone for awhile,” Killian commented.
Emma sat next to him, giving him a quick kiss before responding.
“Apparently it’s the end of the world if baked goods aren’t vegan, gluten-free, nut-free and sugar-free,” Emma informed him. “How’s Har Bear doing?”
“He’s going well. He has two tackles already,” Killian reported. “Neal is also doing well. He got himself a touchdown. Your brother is quite fast.”
“The touchdown is expected. I mean, I’ve seen how fast that kid is when he’s going a naked yard dash away from my father but Harrison has two tackles? You sure it was our kid?” Emma asked in disbelief.
“Of course. He immediately picked up the other boys and brushed them off, making sure they were okay,” Killian responded with some amusement. “What’s this about vegan and all of those free-somethings?”
“Okay, yeah tfhat definitely Harrison,” Emma laughed. “And I know. Apparently you can’t just sell regular baked goods at a bake sale. I don’t know what else to tell you.”
“I see. Well then, fancy a wager, Swan?” Killian asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
“I’m all ears,” Emma responded, burying her face in Neddy’s hair and watching her husband’s amused expression.
“I bet you anything, including the Jolly Roger, that those brownies will be sold out before anything else on that table,” Killian stated with a grin.
“Oh, that’s a given. Only a fool would bet against that.”
Sure enough at the end of the game, they walked past the bake sale where Aurora was doing her best to sell off vegan cookies that had apparently been made with apple sauce. Only one brownie from the store bought batch remained and Emma smiled to herself as she watched a child buy the last one.
#captain swan#cs#cs fic#cs fanfic#cs fanfiction#cs ff#little pirates#little pirates fic#my shit#my fic#ned jones#harrison jones#wes jones#beth jones#emma swan vs the bake sale
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The Top 3 Reasons People Adopt A Vegan Diet…and 2 Reasons No to Adopt It…
Veganism and it’s more conservative side-kick Vegetarianism have been practiced for thousands of years for a variety of reasons and more people are adopting, or at least transitioning (often through vegetarianism) in one way or another to veganism, which is considered the “purest” version of the plant based diet. Having said that, people eat plant-based diets for one of three reasons (sometimes all three).
Reason #1: Health
There's no shortage of evidence that eating lots of fruits and vegetables contribute to a healthy body and brain. In fact, some research suggests that vegans and vegetarians generally have better health markers than omnivores. In fact, many health experts recommend plant-based diets to people who have heart problems, high blood pressure, diabetes and other health conditions.
One big reason people give up animal products involves health concerns about animal protein, particularly red meat. For decades, public health officials and health practitioners urged consumers to eat less meat, especially beef and pork. They cited health concerns such as heart attack, stroke, cancer and more. Another long-held belief about red meat – that its saturated fat content arguably clogs the arteries.
Reason #2: Animal welfare and moral values
This is a key reason for many people in their decision to start and continue a vegan diet. Many vegans strongly believe that all animals, including those that have long been staples in diets all over the world, have a right to life and freedom. That's certainly a fair standpoint, and having emotional attachments with animals often contributes to that view.
For example, research about the motives behind eating a vegan diet shows that having more pets early in life (and a larger variety of pets, e.g., not just cats and dogs) increases the tendency to avoid meat consumption later in life.
Reason #3: Environmental activism
Popular Documentaries like Cowspiracy and What The Health have recently attempted to awaken our collective consciousness regarding greenhouse gazes generated by large scale animal agriculture and it’s greedy consumption of vital resources, namely water and land through deforestation…
If you ask a vegan why they decided to eat vegan, there's a good chance they'll mention something about the environment. Many people who eat plant-based diets are passionate about protecting the environment.
Many consumers and even environmental “experts” attribute current environmental issues to animal agriculture, citing flashy statistics about greenhouse gas emissions, water and land usage, waste, labor costs and transportation involved in raising livestock.
So, should you adopt a 100% plant-based diet(from health perspective?)
If you have decided to adopt a Vegan diet for the last 2 reasons, this is the end of the article for you. However, if you are considering adopting a vegan diet for its alleged health benefits, read on…as you might want to re-consider.
Despite the proven success of the vegan diet for treating certain medical conditions, particularly heart related ailments, this diet might not be for you over the long term (from a health and/or medical perspective). Here are the 2 main reasons why you might not want to adopt a 100% plant based diet.
Reason#1: Protein Sources and Amino Acid Profile
One of the main challenge with a Vegan diet pertains to one of the major macro groups, or the lack of it - Proteins. Our body use proteins to build muscles and organs, deliver oxygen to cells and keep our immune system working. Meat seems to provides the highest amount of protein per grams as well as greater bioavailability due to its full amino acids profile. Plants only provide part of these chains of amino acids. Having said that, vegans can get protein from legumes(soybeans, lentils, tempeh, peas, etc…) and some vegetables (Potatoes, Broccoli, Mushrooms, Brussel Sprouts, etc…) and can actually achieve the full spectrum of amino acids by strategically selecting complementary plants at the nutrient level.
Unfortunately, proteins from legumes such as beans and lentils can increase your risk of leaky gut. Since a vegan diet excludes all forms of animal protein including meat, fish, eggs, and dairy, people following a vegan diet often turn to legumes as a plant-based protein source. Legumes have high levels of antinutrients including lectins and phytates, both of which can increase intestinal permeability, also called leaky gut.
Another problematic source of protein is soy, especially processed forms of the crop. While unprocessed forms of soy may be okay for some people, processed forms of soy are commonly found in a vegan diet, including tofu, soy milk, and soy-based processed foods sold as meat substitutes.
Processed soy foods are no better for human health than any other highly-processed foods, but with the added risk of hormone interference due to phytoestrogens found in all forms of soy.
Reason # 2: Vitamin/Nutrient Deficiencies
Vitamin B12, Iron, Zinc and Omega-3 deficiencies are the most commonly known deficiencies affecting vegans. This is especially important to consider for women of childbearing age, regardless of health markers.
Let’s start with Iron. Iron-deficient, also called anemia is the most common nutritional deficiency in the world, and both vegans and vegetarians are at higher risk of this condition. While plant foods contain a form of iron, it is called non-heme iron and it is much less absorbable by the body. Iron-deficient anemia can lead to serious symptoms including fatigue, and women of child-bearing age should be aware of how a vegan or vegetarian diet can quickly lead to anemia. While iron supplements can be taken to help reverse or prevent anemia, most women dislike taking iron supplements because of negative side effects. The simple solution is to consume heme-based iron from red meat sources.
Next up is Vitamin B12. Since vitamin B12 is only available in animal foods, vegans are at a much higher risk of developing a deficiency in this vital nutrient. In fact, most nutrition professionals agree that those on a vegan or vegetarian diet must supplement with a high-quality vitamin B12 supplement to avoid irreversible health conditions that can result from deficiency. It should also be noted that many people have a genetic variation known as MTHFR that can impact how B vitamins are absorbed. In this case, even certain B vitamin supplementation might not be enough to prevent a deficiency, regardless of your diet.
How about Zinc? Similarly to vitamin B12, vegan and vegetarian diets can result in low zinc status. It is theorised that the problem in this case is that higher consumption of plant foods containing phytic acid may inhibit the ability of the body to absorb zinc. Because of this potential issue with zinc absorption, it is often recommended by nutrition professionals that vegans and vegetarians should increase their intake of zinc up to 50% of the recommended daily allowance to ensure adequate levels.
Last but not least, Omega-3 fatty acids. Without a food source of omega-3 fatty acids from fish or fish oils and an increased consumption of omega-6 fatty acid from foods like nuts, vegans are at risk of severe imbalance between omega-3 vs omega-6. A deficiency of essential fatty acids—either omega-3s or omega-6s—can cause rough, scaly skin and dermatitis. Plasma and tissue concentrations of DHA decrease when an omega-3 fatty acid deficiency is present. However, there are no known cut-off concentrations of DHA or EPA below which functional endpoints, such as those for visual or neural function or for immune response, are impaired. Algae-based sources of omega-3 fatty acids are an option, but they can be expensive and hard to find. And, since many vegan diets may include a higher than average intake of nuts, the balance of fatty acids in the body can still get off-balance.
There ou have it. You can now make an informed decision. The ball is in your court.
To Your Health
The Health Messenger
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