#it's all backlog babey

[tunastime]

back around

To continue loving is the greatest feat of perseverance. Love is the one thing we always have to give.

Etho will finally reunite with Bdubs, alongside a long, internal struggle, after Bdubs gets back from Double Life. Until then, Etho lives alone, and finally comes to terms with, and accepts, the love he knows he deserves.

(6227 words)

There’s nothing pleasant about respawn.

Etho wakes up in the basement of the monolith and his eyes burn. Around him still lingers the smell of burning hair and charcoal. Joel’s voice rings in his periphery, hoarse and afraid for the very first time. Etho took his time leaving that world, feeling the shape of Joel tug on his sleeve. To remember him in another life. He’s a good guy, a better fighter, desperately loyal. He knows that, at least next time, he might have somebody to trust again. Etho opens his eyes. The world dips and sets him back into bed too fast.

His stomach rolls as he does, onto his hands and knees, coughing up and swallowing down. He sinks to the cool floor, and for a long moment, tries to keep his head from spinning. Wake with the spins, go to bed with the spins. His hands splay out. Wooden slats beneath him. Quiet around him.

When he finally collects himself enough to stand, the first thing he does is stand in the threshold of the bathroom holding the door frame tight with both hands. In the light he can just barely see his bare face, tired but unbruised. It’s a face he hasn’t seen in a while. He tracks his eyes in the mirror and his pupils are big to take in the light. These aren’t the clothes he died in. He washes his face in the sink. He rinses his hands. Twice. Three times. He doesn’t have the patience for a bath, but there’s a fine feeling on his skin—sticky and unclean. Not blood. Sweat.

Etho takes a long breath in, sighs, and stands up straight. Then, and only then, does he try to remember how to be himself again. He pads into the other room, scrubbing sleep from his eyes. He changes his clothes and leaves the old ones in a heap on the bedside. Something about the repetition of changing makes his skin crawl a little less. He changes his socks. He combs back his hair with his fingers. 

Time passes differently here. When he makes it to the staircase that should lead up into the rest of the monolith, he checks the calendar, the remnant of one. A few nights will pass until everyone is collected and brought back. A few nights will pass before people realize they don’t have to stay to watch bloodshed. Or when they get bored. And Etho is here, now. No use watching bloodshed. No use watching someone die.

Etho trails up the stairs. He pulls his mask over his face only when he reaches the landing, right before the door. The air is still and cool. The inside of the monolith is still and cool too, but something lingers. The fragments of living—the smell of cooked food, coffee, still lit lanterns. It’s midday; Etho peeks out through one of the windows to see a bright blue sky and a stretch of birch as far as he can see. 

He wanders up the stairs with his heart thumping in his chest. It isn’t possible for him to be back so soon. Is it?

He keeps going, tracing up the wall as he walks. There isn’t a noise. 

The whole monolith is quiet, a settling sound he hasn’t heard in weeks. No shuffling or movement, no sound of anyone living besides him. He knows it’s not the truth, he knows Ren wanders upstairs–he has to be up there. It would only make sense, given the timing.

Etho pauses at the threshold.

When he stops at the doorway, the sun is pooling into the window, filtering through the dust. On the table is a coffee cup, a dish, a dishrag left abandoned. He pushes past a vine that climbs down the beam and into the entryway. The leaves of their potted plants trickle down the wall. There is silence, aside from the faint sounds of birds and cicadas and windchimes.

When he looks into the kitchen, there are only empty dishes.

Etho rinses out the metal kettle and fills it with water. He lights the burner. The kettle goes on top. He takes down one cup and a tin. The tin, in capital letters, reads: lavender lemon. 

On the stove, the kettle begins to boil.

(read the rest on ao3!)

[honeydots]

a man for flowers 🌼

[cee-grice]

OC Deep Dive Tag

I haven't done a tag game in foreverrrr (gonna need to clear out the backlog eventually), and thought I'd hit it off again with this one:D got tagged by @pandoras-comment-box, thank you!! you can check out their post here

Rules: answer the following questions for your OCs

going with the main ones, Quil and Endra (I keep wanting to say Endra and Quil, as if Endra's the protagonist, and I think that sums up my favoritism well)

What uncommon/common fear do they have?

Quil: the ocean. also space. there's something about the vast unknown that's fucking terrifying y'know (I get him)

Endra: needles and other sharp objects (doctors hate him! (except Quil:) ))

Do they have any pet peeves?

Quil: too many to count 😭 mostly social things, though - he especially has a thing about improper manners (assuming the person Is aware of proper manners)

Endra: being treated as immature (he is, in fact, immature)

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

Quil: too many books... ink bottles... plates (because eating in the kitchen is for losers!)

Endra: piano, cat (does that count as an item??), drawings

What do they notice first in a person?

Quil: this is setting-specific, but whether or not they have visible magical mutations, then their fashion (this informs him of their culture and thus expected social etiquette)

Endra: their facial expressions/body language (to see how friendly they seem)

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Quil: 10/10, dude could walk off a bullet wound

Endra: like a solid 5/10

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Quil: depends on the pressure! normally, fight mode, but if it's related to his Trauma, then flight (or freeze) all the way babey

Endra: fight fight fight

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

Both are an only child, actually! Quil's parents wanted more, but he required so much attention because of medical stuff that they just couldn't afford to, and Endra was an accident lol

Quil used to be very close with his parents, but, well. shit happened lmfao. and Endra absolutely despises his mother ahaha (but would like his own family someday!)

What animal represents them best?

Quil: a snake (but not in the stereotypical 'grrr he's a snake' way! snakes deserve better>:()

Endra: puppy :) (he'd hate that)

What is a smell that they dislike?

Quil: the smell of dye

Endra: nothing in particular

Have they broken any bones?

Quil: he's shattered bones beyond recognition, does that count

Endra: probably lol

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Quil: so polite! so helpful! what a charming young man, not sure what everyone's on about, calling him a 'menace' ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Endra: kind of quiet and reserved at first, but once comfortable, way too excitable and talkative, I should probably be annoyed but I'm unwillingly endeared by his enthusiasm

Are they a night owl or a morning bird?

Quil: sleep is for the weak <3 (so...both.)

Endra: he'll be the first out and the last up

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

(I actually wrote about this one lol)

Quil: he avoids anything sweet like the plague, and loves to oversalt everything (it's borderline inedible to others, and his heart will definitely not thank him for it)

Endra: he doesn't hate anything in particular, and baked apples <3

Do they have any hobbies?

Quil: he actually really enjoys reading fairytales, but he's pretty much obsessed with biochemistry, so that's what most of his time goes into lol

Endra: playing the piano!:) and drawing:) and traveling (that's a new one)

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises?

Quil: he'd be frazzled for a second, but then he'd snap into the expected role (that'd also be his reminder that it's his birthday)

Endra: he'd be delighted (but only if there weren't too many people present)

Do they like to wear jewelry?

Quil: jewelry is big where he's from, and he's into it, too. he usually opts for more discreet and delicate stuff, though

Endra: he wouldn't go out of his way to get/wear it, but if it was a gift, he would

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Quil: very neat, but in the over-practiced way

Endra: um. um. hard to say, because he doesn't know how to write ahaha

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

Quil: reaaaally depends which timeline we're in (pre-death or post-death). in pre-death, endearment and determination. in post-death, anxiety and stress and panic and anxiety (you try to remain calm post your own death :|)

Endra: excitement and paranoia

Do they have a favorite fabric?

Quil: probably silk tbh (yeah, he's that kind of person)

Endra: linen 🔛🔝

What kind of accent do they have?

Quil: in the text, I describe it as 'lilting and honeyed'. in terms of speaking mannerisms, he somewhat adapts to his company, but usually it's quite proper and 'clinical', always impeccably polite (unless you've slighted him, then he'll go for the fucking jugular)

Endra: warm and soft, but if he were to speak in a different language, he'd sound kind of rough. he speaks quicker than thinks, so he often cuts himself off and restarts lol. tends to ramble (especially when stressed)

softly tagging @mrbexwrites, @sam-glade, @rodentwrites, @raevenlywrites, @eccaiia, @amaiguri and anyone else who'd want to!

What uncommon/common fear do they have? Do they have any pet peeves? What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? What do they notice first in a person? On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance? Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? Do they come from a big family/are they a family person? What animal represents them best? What is a smell that they dislike? Have they broken any bones? How would a stranger likely describe them? Are they a night owl or a morning bird? What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love? Do they have any hobbies? Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises? Do they like to wear jewelry? Do they have neat or messy handwriting? What are the two emotions they feel the most? Do they have a favorite fabric? What kind of accent do they have?

[momobani]

ABOUT TIME 

If Your Winter Is Hard - Chapter 8 - 9.6k

medium!minghao x exorcist!reader

SERIES MASTERLIST

Warnings: exorcism(duh!); discussion of ghosts + death, reference to death of family members, light violence/ fighting, mention of guns, discussion of grief, A N G S T, depiction of murder!! [not very explicit], mention of illness  

Sum: it’s true when they say that if you love someone, you should let them go.

Song rec: Letting Go - Vancouver Sleep Clinic  

TAGLIST: @sleeplessdawn  @aceofvernons  @lilactangerine  @kyeomsworld  

A/N: Guess who’s crying in the club again? You and me, babey! Sorry for the long wait again, I had a lot on with uni, but for the moment I have a little time here and there for now. We’re back to YN’s point of view after the last chapter, so yeah, enjoy <333 Happy holidays y’all!!!  

“Hao, do you know where I left the incense?” You call over your shoulder as you grapple with preparing your exorcism bag.

“Well, I don’t think it sprouted legs and ran away from where you left it five minutes ago.” He replies sarcastically, walking past the desk in your office, plucking up the item, and holding it out to you. You purse your lips at how silly you seemed; it was two feet away from you the whole time.

“Thanks.” You say sheepishly and pack the box into your bag. It was half past two in the afternoon and you were running a little late since you’d had lunch with Jeonghan after he begged you to try this restaurant that almost closed a few years ago. You told him you were busy and so was he, but eventually you caved not long after because truthfully, you wanted to try it too.

It had been worth the drive across town and back, seeing how happy Jeonghan was picking out and grilling the meat, even though it put you a few minutes behind schedule for your next exorcism.

“You know, I don’t know why you couldn’t just pass this case on to someone else, maybe even Seungkwan and Vernon, it’s not like we have time for it.” Minghao grumbles as he puts on his long coat and wraps his thick scarf around his neck.

“Will you stop complaining? We had this case on backlog for ages, we need to get it done anyway.” You reply, shoving the salt dispenser into the front pocket harder than you meant to.

You were getting really annoyed for some reason, getting lip service and from Minghao of all people. You weren’t used to it. He’d been grouchy all morning too, clearly something was bothering him but he wouldn’t tell you.

This was possibly the first real disagreement or conflict the two of you had had, the acknowledgement of that fact taking you by surprise. Usually you just focused on the task at hand and got it done quickly and smoothly. Well, relatively of course; there was the time you bonked heads at the museum, the time you almost got caught at the apartment block and oh, how could you forget that time you almost died on the train tracks.

Fine, you got things done more quickly than smoothly but whatever. The point was that you and Minghao worked in harmony.

“I wasn’t complaining, YN, I’m just saying, there was probably an alternative here, so we could focus on the paperwork for the cemetery spirits. That basement ghost can wait.” He continues. You zip the bag and drop your hands on top of it with a thud. You turn your head and zero in on Minghao, who notices the change in air.

“Do you just not want to do the exorcism or something?” You demand, trying not to raise your voice. “Are you overworked or too tired, because if you are, then just say so. That’s fine, I can finish it without you.” You say heatedly. You hadn’t used that tone with him before but it came spilling out from you before you could stop it. Minghao looks back at you just as intensely and you see the hardness in his eyes.

Just as he’s about to say something, Hoshi walks in with a pile of folders, clearly making a trip from the conference room to the storage area in your office. He, Jeonghan, and Seokmin were taking the first shift of the day on analysing the files and trying to narrow down the search for identifying the spirits.

“Hey, gu-”

“See! I can just take Hoshi instead.” You don’t let him finish. Hoshi shudders, eyes wide and startled by the exclamation. Minghao frowns but doesn’t say anything. “Do you want to come do the exorcism, Hosh? It’s been a while.”

For a moment, Hoshi is stuck looking between the two of you, feeling out the tension and trying to gauge what it’s about, a little like kid looking at its parents arguing.

“Um…” He hesitates. “Sure.” He perks up, deciding it would be more dangerous if he refuses.

“Great! Any objections, Hao?” You raise your eyebrows at him, daring him to protest. You think it’s best that you split up for a while before you say anything you don’t mean and later regret.

“None, you guys have fun in that old lady’s basement.” Minghao doesn’t even grace you with another look before unwrapping the scarf and leaving for the conference room.

“Hosh, get your coat, we’re leaving.” You say as you stare at Minghao’s back as he walks away. Was that your first fight? You knew it was normal for friends to fight but could you even call it a fight? For the most part, you felt that you needed to cool down because your frustration was mounting; he didn’t have to take out his grouchiness on you but he’d been annoying all morning, giving you sarcastic reply after sarcastic reply. Most of all you were frustrated that he wouldn’t tell you what was bothering him.  

You decided to put your situation with Minghao on the back burner and focus on what you were doing. You’re exiting the office and Hoshi runs ahead of you.

“I call shotgun!” He shouted as he zoomed towards the passenger side of your car. You got in the car, your eyebrows knitted in dubiety.

“Hoshi, there’s no one else in the car.” You pointed out the obvious. He nodded dismissively as he slung on his seatbelt.

“Yeah, but you’ve only been letting Minghao ride shotgun lately so I wanted to stake my claim. I used to ride up front all the time before.” He explains and you almost miss the tiny pout that appears on his lips. “Like I get it if you like him, it’s just that I like sitting in the front too.”

You almost reverse into your trash cans at Hoshi’s words.

“What the hell are you talking about? Don’t be ridiculous, I don’t like Minghao like that, he’s just a friend and co-worker.” You rattle off, unamused by the mere suggestion that you would be unprofessional and spend your time crushing on a colleague than do your job. Hoshi smiles in the periphery of your vision as you drive out on to the main road.

“Hm, alright.” He chimes. You feel the lighthearted teasing in his tone but you clench your jaw; if you get emotional, you lose.

You don’t bother trying to prove your point and drive in silence. You needed to think about what you were going to do for the exorcism since this was one highly likely to be a difficult ghost; you were dealing with a murder victim that hadn’t left the house in at least fifty years. A young woman, who had been the previous tenant in the house before the old lady and her family moved in all those years ago, had been killed by a boyfriend and hidden in the basement. The body hadn’t been discovered for weeks since her housemates were away.

You’d dealt with several murder cases in the past, as well as studied them when your sister was working, but it had been a while since you’d done one. The closest you came to it was the vengeful spirit at the train station and you knew what a disaster that had almost become. To say the least, you felt a little nervous.

The scenery around you changed to the suburbs in no time and you found yourselves just outside of town, barely even on the outskirts of the metropolitan area. It wasn’t a long drive to your client’s house as the afternoon sky started to darken.

The old lady’s house was situated in the middle of a hill, the rising mass of houses looming ahead as you left the car at the bottom of the street and started to hike up the footpath. There was no road leading to it from either side since the residential area was built on a slope over a hundred years ago when parking space wasn’t a concern.  

Initially the climb up the hill isn’t so bad, however an unexpected gust of wind sends you reeling backwards, its sheer force knocking you off kilter. You practically have to start running to resist the wind, exerting more energy than you wished to admit so that you don’t get swept away.

When you finally make it to the house’s outside gate, it’s a relief to enter and be sheltered from the wind by the giant oak tree growing in the garden, its browning leaves still intact and rustling above you. You knock on the door and your client, a sweet, demure elderly lady, ushers you in.

“Do you kids want some tea?” She asks immediately, fussing over how cold you and Hoshi both look. “It’s quite horrible outside, we should warm you up.”

“That would be great, thank you.” You tell her, not because you actually feel the need to defrost yourselves, but because she looks like she won’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Besides, during the exorcism, your body temperature especially will, as usual, drop significantly.  

You sit on the fluffy carpet around the coffee table, a low wooden square that exhibited the tribulations of time - scratches, discolouring, and chips evident when you looked closer. The rest of the living room reminded you of your own house, the ancient furniture resembling your living room as per your grandparents’ vision when they first bought the house almost sixty years ago. You felt right at home.

Hoshi drinks his tea in two gulps, licking his lips with a satisfying smack and grinning widely. Your client smiles back in delight, clearly enamoured by Hoshi’s cuteness and you have a feeling that she’s adopt him as her grandson in a few minutes if you didn’t get moving on the exorcism.

You thank the lady and excuse yourselves to get to work, yanking Hoshi up subtly by the collar, telling her it might be best to go to her neighbour’s house while you worked for her own safety. You had briefly mentioned it to her before but you suspected she might have forgotten about it. She surprises you by telling you that she’d specifically made plans to watch tonight’s drama episode there just to give you guys space.

You smile gratefully and send Hoshi to walk her down the hill while you set up downstairs.

It’s hard to tell whether it’s because you’re alone, but as soon as you open the door to the basement, your skin erupts in goosebumps and a chill runs through your body, pitting conclusively deep in your belly. The cold hits you immediately, whether it’s the lack of insulation on the single window or just how the cold seeps into the room from the outside.

You snap on the light switch to your left and a single tiny bulb in the middle of the staircase turns on, but barely. It’s enough for now, you decide. You descend the wooden steps carefully, watching your feet and keeping an eye out at the shadows cast across the room. The creak of the steps underfoot makes a sound that fills the basement obnoxiously loudly and you scurry down the last few stairs.

In the basement there is a film of dust covering everything; even in the relative darkness you can see the grey covering over each surface as your eyes adjust. There’s a wooden table, the type that’s a slab hanging off the wall with chains, lined with a few abandoned items; a pair of gardening gloves, some plant cutting shears, a wrench or two, which you discern must have come from the toolbox that lays just underneath the table next to a thick pile of old newspapers.

There are a few more tools but hanging up on some hooks stuck to the wall above the table. As far as anything else goes, there’s hardly anything else in the basement except for a small ladder, folded up neatly and laying on its side out of the way. You could imagine that most of these items had been lying there for a long time because the woman living here didn’t seem like the type to do much gardening.

You try not to breathe too much because of the dust, and get to work.  

From your backpack, you take out the salt dispenser, the incense pot and strap your gun to one leg and your exorcist blade to the other. Next, you start to draw the salt cage. You were going to keep it as wide as possible and try to seal the whole basement if possible, just so that the spirit would be contained.

You hear the wind howling outside, whistling at you as the last shred of sun dissipates from the sky, the darkness flooding the basement through the window and casting more eerie shadows. You hear a creak of the steps and put an instinctive hand on your gun as you snap towards the noise. Of course, you know it’s Hoshi making his way down the stairs.

“Took you long enough.” You mutter in his general direction. You were almost finished with the salt cage.

“Sorry, Boss. That hill is gnarly.” He explains and shrugs. You nod dismissively from your position hunching over the salt dispenser as the thick streak of powder spills out from the opening.

“We should get started with the incense. Set it up, will you.” You instruct as you seal off the cage, the both of you standing within its parameters.

“Yessir.” Hoshi says with a salute and walks jauntily over to where you’d left the pot. You can’t hold the scoff at ridiculousness that bubbles up in your throat. Hoshi’s inescapable charm was energising whatever he was doing and whoever he was with, and you realised that you’d definitely missed having his silly butt along on exorcisms. Maybe now that he’d recovered, you could really give Minghao some time off and balance the work between your two mediums.

You felt yourself frown at the thought of Minghao. You were still a little mad at how snippy he’d been, yet you were already starting to cool off and question what even that whole thing was about. Had you done something wrong? Sure you’d been snippy back to him before you left, but that was the only thing, right?

You shook your head, trying not to get bogged down in distractions because you were about to get to the really delicate part of today’s job.

Hoshi lit the incense then handed your lighter back as the frail wisp of smoke started to rise from the pot. Almost immediately did you feel the sudden drop in temperature, the small exhale leaving your mouth, frosting in front of your face. Your skin started to prickle at the deep sensation of dread that spread through your core, its grip unbearably strong from the get go.

This felt like a vengeful spirit.

And yet, you looked around for any other tell-tale signs of a vengeful spirit but you spotted none - there was no fog signalling the presence of a ghost, only an increased tension in the air, its energy diffusing throughout the space of the basement.

You grabbed your gun, shooting two consecutive shots to seal off the door and far wall around the staircase. Then you waited because you couldn’t actually see the ghost yet. This was pretty rare. If the spirit was this elusive from the start then you might be in trouble.

An invisible enemy is considerably harder to defeat.

“Should I take my talisman off?” Hoshi whispers from a few feet away.

“Not yet,” You whisper back to him. “I have a bad feeling-” You barely finish your sentence when you hear the rattle of a chain echo across the room. Your eyes land on the slab of wood against the wall and you see the chains in question had moved gently. It must be the work of the spirit.

You watch carefully, not only the table but scanning the room for any other signs of movement, the silence stifling. You see the chain move before you hear it clink again, this time followed by the shake of the tools hanging above the table. You zero in on the movement, straining your eyes in the semi-darkness, trying to spot if the ghost is anywhere nearby.

Instead what you notice is how the tools start to vibrate and you think you’re going crazy until a wrench snaps off and flies off in your direction. You have a split second to react and you do-

“Duck!” You yell and dive toward Hoshi in an attempt to do just that in case his reflexes are slow. He does hear you but it’s a good thing you manage to affectively bring him down with you; down to the dusty and dirt littered floor. Your fall makes a loud thump and causes a tornado of dust to fly up and swirl around you, falling back down like snow.

The wrench had flown across the room and smacked heavily against the nearest wall, sailing through the air at probably several miles an hour. Or at least enough that if it had hit you, you’d have been injured. The two of you inevitable start coughing up a lung as several more instrumentals fly off and follow the first.  

“Shit, what was that?” Hoshi splutters, the fear in his voice evident.

“A vengeful spirit.” You reply, sure now that the powerful energies of your current target were within the spectrum of vengeful ghosts; souls of those wronged lingering with exceptionally strong presence. You knew that not all vengeful spirits were accompanied by things like the thick grey fog - there was too much variation in the sorts of signs that counted as evidence of that type of ghost.

“Oh man, I shouldn’t have come with.” Hoshi whines. You’re already up on your feet and you offer him a hand and pull him up off the ground.

“Too late for regret, tiger.” You say. You take a good look around and spot a shadow in one corner of the room, its figure just out of the path of light coming from the window and away from the lightbulb. There’s your ghost.

You were going to have to do this the quickest way possible.

“Take it off, now.” You say, reaching for your blade. You were calculating the possible time it might take for the ghost to possess Hoshi, mind running a million miles per hour, but just as you blinked the shadow disappeared.

Shit.

Unfortunately Hoshi had already processed what you’d asked and his fingers were pulling on the bracelet, tugging it down his wrist and onto the ground. In a moment, you whipped around, looking for the ghost, but it was too late-

You didn’t see it, but you felt the wave of polar energy zip through your body and you gasped out loud at the sensation, your breath coming out like smoke; it was like being thrown into Antarctic waters, the ice flowing into your bloodstream suddenly. The ghost passed through you and slammed into Hoshi’s body, knocking him back down to the ground. You dropped to your knees, the breath literally knocked out of you too.

White noise filled your head, vision blurring for a split second. You felt like you might seize up.

Your brain was still functioning however, even if your body was struggling to move. You knew you had to stab the blade down before the ghost started to move. The time it took to possess a medium was usually around two seconds, so in those two seconds, you willed yourself to move forward, your body falling heavily on the ground next to Hoshi. You threw a leg over him with all your might, your body shivering with stinging cold and looked at his eyes, looking for the silver light that indicated the spiritual presence.

It appeared, its glow unmistakeable in the dark and you dragged the hand holding the blade to Hoshi’s chest and barely stabbed down, your body slack.

“Go peacefully.” You mumbled, voice frail and cracking. Your eyes were too heavy but you fought to keep them at least half-opened as you watched the blade start to incinerate itself. The world was fading away from you fast, but even so, the ghost’s memory ran into you, its force numbing you as you half-rolled, half-fell on your back on the musty floor of the basement.

You were hyperaware of your own body suddenly, aware of how you lay on your back, rigid, but in your mind’s eye, you weren’t in the cold, dark basement, you were upstairs, the smooth wooden floor under you, in the exact same position. There was a warm glow of light above you, its source hidden by the figure that sat on your chest, immobilising you. You knew it wasn’t you, of course not, it was the spirit’s memory you were living through, yet it felt paralysingly real. Every fibre of your body was on high alert but you couldn’t move. The person on top of you moved into your line of sight and you saw his face, a stranger whose hand moved to curl around your neck and hold in place while the glint of a knife shone in his other.

You hear a distant blood curdling screech, its piercing decibels probably coming from your own mouth in the basement but in the vision, it sounded so far away.  

You blacked out before you saw what happened next, but you knew deep down what had transpired. You were catapulted back into reality and found yourself still in the basement, frost permeating every part of your being, your throat feelings particularly raw.

Hoshi was coming to, his movements sluggish. He saw you in an instant.

“YN! What happened? Are you okay?” He squeaked in panic. You didn’t have the energy to say anything but you attempted to move your lips.

“Cold…” you mumbled, but your mouth was almost sealed shut so it just sounded like ‘co…’.

And then your eye lids became too heavy to keep open and the world disappeared.

*  

Your consciousness breaks through your sleep and you feel yourself start to wake up.

The first thing you feel is that you’re smothered by something; a warm weight on top of you and you sense there are about ten blankets that are cocooning you into your bed, wound so tightly around you that you feel yourself unable to move.

With all the little energy remaining in your limbs, you struggle to wriggle around and make some room for yourself inside your fluffy prison. There’s a dead weight to every part of your body and you feel like you’ve been hit by a bus or something. You open your eyes and find yourself in semi-darkness in your own room at home. Your head starts to pound immediately in response.  

How did you get there?

The shuffling seems to alert of your stirring awake and you see a dark mess of hair bob to your left.

Minghao startles and whips around, searching for movement. From what you saw, he’d been sitting on the floor beside your bed and leaning back on the frame with a book that clutters to the floor.

“YN?” He rasps, his eyes wide, weary, and worried. He appears to be a little wild to you, like he hasn’t slept for a long time and you wonder how long you must have been out.

“I’m okay.” You manage, your voice raw. It feels like the sound get stuck in your throat, where there’s an unexplained ache. Your words seem to reassure Minghao at least a bit and he nods before getting up.

“I’ll get Jeonghan.” He says quietly and strides across the room. You wriggle some more and manage to break one arm out of your cocoon but instead of feeling like a beautiful butterfly, you feel more like a fluffy moth. It takes a lot of effort but you finally get into a semi sitting position and notice the army of heaters that is assembled around your bed like a moat, the only empty spot where Minghao was leaning against the side.

You were lucky you were in this condition. You knew that.  

It was kind of rare for ghosts to pass through exorcists but when it happened, it was pretty severe for them. The only time you’d ever seen it happen was to your aunt years ago when you were a kid. You barely remembered the ordeal, having been far too young, but you knew that she’d been quite sick.

“Occupational hazard, huh.” You sigh to yourself. “Could be worse.”

You hear footsteps approaching your room and then Jeonghan marches through the door, Minghao trailing on his tail. Jeonghan practically runs to you, speed walking and dropping down on the outer side of the bed to fuss over you.

“Yah, are you okay? How do you feel?” He asks, his hands smooshing your cheeks as he inspects your face for any signs of illness. You want to reply but it’s kind of difficult with the death grip he has on you.

“Jeonghan?” You quack, the shape of your lips caricatured by his hands. He hums in response. “Need to breath, please.” You finish, words coming out a little strangled. He lets you go immediately with a quiet ‘sorry’. You take a deep, appreciative breath. “I think I’m okay. How long was I unconscious?” You ask tentatively.

Jeonghan thinks for a minute, tilting his head. “Two days?” He says.

“What?” You croak, body bouncing up and down with the exclamation. “No way! Just from the ghost passing through me?” You say.

“You remember that?” Minghao asks. He’d been standing inconspicuously behind Jeonghan, observing the two of you with careful eyes.

“Obviously.” You shrug. It’d be very hard to forget. “It’s the last thing that I do remember though. Fill me in on what’s going with the group exorcism.”

“Oh my god.” Minghao swivels away. He seems ready to pace around, looking up and around the room in disbelief. “You’re really something, YN.” He mutters to himself.

“What was that?” You call over, addressing him. You think he might ignore you and pretend you didn’t ask. Instead, he turns back to you and you find the exasperation on his face.

“You just wake up from a two day coma and two seconds later you’re asking about work?” His eyebrows are raised as close to his hairline as physically possible and you’d find it funny if he wasn’t almost raising his voice at you.

“Yes, Hao. Because that’s my job!” You declare. “In case you forgot.” You add, starting to remember that the two of you had had a bit of a squabble before you and Hoshi had gone to the site of the exorcism.

“Um, I’m going to get you some tea and meds, kiddo. Wait here.” Jeonghan’s eyes travel from you to Minghao and back. You forget that Jeonghan doesn’t like to be in the midst of chaos, unless of course he’s the one who created it.

“Not like I’m going anywhere.” You mutter with a nod to the blanket prison you sit in. Jeonghan weasels out of the room noiselessly, leaving you with a stroppy Minghao. “So it’s been two days; are you ready to tell me who spat in your cereal?” You inquire.

“No one.” He huffs but it’s obvious that the answer should have been a clear and resounding ‘you’.

“Y’know, whatever it is, if you don’t tell me, we can’t resolve it.” You counter immediately. You hated confrontations like this, especially with someone that you always managed to get along with. You supposed there was a silver lining to this because you felt your blood pressure raise and body get heated, which was good if you were going to combat the remaining frost in your system, so there’s that.

“Do you think I haven’t thought about resolving it?” Minghao asks. You’re surprised by the response, suddenly more alert than before. It’s your turn to look at him inquisitively.

“What’s that supposed to mean? If you have a problem with me, just say it.” You challenge. You feel all clammy inside and you’re not sure it’s just the blanket sweat finally getting to you.

“I don’t have a problem with you.” Minghao says. You sigh, frustrated with his stubbornness.

“Then what do you have a problem with?” You snap. Minghao pauses to look at you, assessing just how far you want to take this.  

“What do I have a problem with?” He echos. “You’re working so fucking much that you collapsed into a coma! Is that not a problem?” He blurts out. You scoff at the ridiculousness of the statement. Did you hear him correctly? What was he talking about?

“That happened because of a ghost, you drama queen!” You retort.

“Oh, did it?” He quips back sarcastically. He doesn’t let you reply. “Jeonghan said that when that happens, you’ll get a cold or hypothermia worst case scenario. But you were so weak from overworking that you almost died!”

You’re struck silent, processing the sound waves that travelled through the air and to your ears. But he’s not done yet.

“We literally had to keep you on an IV drip for two days. We had to call Jihoon and ask for a doctor to check you up and he even estimated your chances of survival.” He lists desperately. And this time you see just how shaken Minghao really is; there are dark circles under his eyes, he’s extremely pale and his mouth looks too dry.

You feel a wave of guilt breaking over you. Clearly, he’d been incredibly stressed and tired over the last couple of days and you wake up and start berating him. You shrink back a little, recognising how serious the situation must have been. You don’t say anything for a moment.

Minghao sighs and his shoulders slump visibly. He takes a few cautious steps and perches on the edge of the bed, looking down at the wall of heaters around you. Most of them were actually turned off at the moment, you notice.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to get so grouchy with you.” He says, softening his voice. “It’s just- ugh - did you never hear me when I say take a break? Or leave it to someone else because you haven’t slept?” He asks.

And the thing is that you know what he’s talking about.

You’d become immune to comments like that over the past few weeks, knowing that you had a burning project to get done and no time to waste. You’d been getting a little control freaky about working on your case but against your better judgment, you’d ignored the way you were treating yourself, like those crazy workaholics that you thought only existed on TV.

“Does that just go in one ear and out the other?” He pauses to search your face. You don’t know what the look on your face must be, but it must be telling. “It seems it does. It’s just so frustrating to see you work yourself like a dog.”

“Do you know how much more frustrating it is to feel like you’re arguing with someone when you’re trying to do that work?” You finally reply.

“We’re not arguing.” He says firmly. As if he believed that.

“You’re right, we’re bickering like children.” You point out.

“I won’t bicker if you just agree to take breaks.”

“Hao, you know how difficult this is.” You meet his eyes and hold them.

“Then ask for help, YN.” He pleads gently. “You have so many people around you, you don’t have to do every single thing. Just promise me you’ll give yourself time to rest.” You don’t know if what he’s saying is taking effect or if it’s just the way he’s looking at you right now, but you don’t even think about fighting back this time. He disarms you completely with the look in his eyes and it strikes you somewhere deep inside. Suddenly you hate yourself for making him worry like that.  

“Okay, fine.” You promise. “I’ll be careful, stop nagging, jeez.” You add playfully, the corners of  your mouth turning up. It’s contagious and Minghao does the same, succumbing to your tone.  

“Alright, but I better see you doing it.” Minghao says, matching your sentiment.

“Pfft, who made you the boss? As far as I know, I’m in charge.” You’d cross your arms, but you were still cocooned in the blanket for the most part.

“Never said you weren’t.” He shrugs.

“Hmm, good. Now get this off me, I gotta go to the bathroom.” You start to struggle against the fluffy fabric of the blankets again and Minghao hurries to help you out.

When you see yourself in the mirror, you almost jump back in horror. You didn’t realise that if you spent so much time with ghosts, you’d start looking like one too. You were so disheveled and your mouth felt awfully stale and your hair was a rat’s nest. (You didn’t know rats could have nests, but if they did, it would definitely be the state of your hair specifically).

Speaking of your hair, the more you tried to brush it out and give it some kind of order, you noticed something strange. There was a number of strands of grey hair that shone in the light of your bathroom. You  fought the urge to scream. Those most certainly hadn’t been there before. It wasn’t an alarming amount since you could probably count them on your hands, but it was still startling. It was possible it was your condition after the ghost pass through that had caused it. You just hoped that you wouldn’t get any more of whatever this was.

Maybe Minghao was right; you needed to take it easier and redistribute your work load. You absolutely did not want to see another grey hair, not for at least another ten years.  

*

You have to fight yourself a little bit the next few days because you want to do work but you feel like you need to take several naps a day to feel human. All you end up doing is trying to sneak into the office and Minghao creeps up behind you with a timer and tells you that that’s all you’re allowed to do for now, urging you to take the documents and read them in bed.

The guys make plenty of progress in the mean time, somehow managing to narrow down the number of records significantly and matching five out of the thirteen ghosts to their identities. To the outsider, it might seem like a massive game of Cluedo or something, but the reality was that exorcists very often had to do some detective work in order to be able to do their actual job, which was tending to the dead.

By the end of the next week, after 3 all nighters (though you were forced into a Minghao-mandated 8 hours of sleep unlike everyone else), 20 take-outs, and 50 cups of coffee, you have ten out of thirteen ghosts and over a week until the winter solstice. So you tell everyone to go and take a couple days off. You lose track of time for the most part but you can’t escape the date today.

It’s the third anniversary of your sister’s death.

You wake up and lie in your bed, staring at the ceiling. How did three years go by so quickly and yet it felt like a whole life time ago? You had no idea.

You take your time getting ready today, moving slowly and sluggishly, getting breakfast (more like lunch at this time) and then putting on your coat. You weren’t leaving yet but you still felt waves of cold every once in a while and if you put on your fluffy bathrobe, then you’d never feel like leaving the house. You didn’t have a bathrobe before, but one had mysteriously appeared in your bedroom after you gained consciousness last week and you didn’t have to be a genius to be able to work out that Minghao had got it for you.

You dig out your grandmother’s hairpin and add it to your hair. You wear your earrings and your sister’s ring, and the set would be completed by your aunt’s necklace. Like the rest of your protective talismans, it has a carnelian crystal as the main part of the piece, as all the women in your family wore carnelian and the men wore onyx, which is why your grandfather’s ring was made of that. Minghao wore it now and it occurred to you that you never ended up getting him another talisman. Maybe you should get him something obsidian like Jeonghan wore.

You pack a few things to take with you and call out to see if Minghao is ready. Yesterday you’d told him where you were going to go and he’d insisted he’d come with you so wouldn’t have to worry about driving. You knew he was just saying that and the real reason was so that you wouldn’t be alone. You and Jeonghan had agreed to go separately, mostly because you weren’t sure you could handle being there together, although you suspected he just didn’t want you to see him like that.

Like what? Like you? Distraught and crazy, crying and shaking? Perhaps.

Even though the two of you had made up now and were bonding a little here and there, you still felt like you weren’t back to how you were years ago - that would take time. And grief was an extremely personal thing, and you knew that Jeonghan needed his own time so you didn’t press the matter at all.  

Minghao comes out of his room, matching your all black attire, a turtle neck peaking out of his long coat. He walks up to you and pulls a scarf around you wordlessly, adjusting it around your own turtle neck. You hadn’t seen he was carrying one so it surprises you for a split second. You look at him up close, your eyes wandering over his face. You can smell the freshness of his aftershave vaguely, but he steps away just as quickly as he stepped closely.

“Thanks.” You say. He’s not listening though, already walking toward the front door of the basement. You follow him to the car and he’s already in the driver’s seat. For a few weeks now, you’d started keeping the car keys in the living room since you weren’t the only one using it any more. It was too cold for Minghao to ride his motorcycle these days and dangerous with all the frost on the roads.

“Do you know the way?” You ask, after pulling on your seatbelt and clicking it into place.

“Yes.” He says curtly.

“Okay.” You purse your lips, eyes travelling over to the mirrors to watch as Minghao turns your car around, looking carefully behind. He manoeuvres the vehicle smoothly, one hand on the back of your seat’s headrest and the other draped over the wheel. Your eyes land on the black band over his middle finger, its surface smooth despite the years of use.

It fit perfectly against his skin and you’d feel it a shame if you got him a talisman that wasn’t comfortable or as suitable for him as that one. It was then that you officially decided to let Minghao keep it; it was something you’d already thought about doing before but hadn’t voiced to yourself, so now it was settled in your mind.

The car ride was silent and somber and you realised that maybe it was out of politeness that Minghao wasn’t saying anything and giving you space to think to yourself. You appreciated it even though your brain was relatively empty for the moment. Empty may not be the right word; numb might be a better way to describe it.

You arrive at the cemetery after a long drive out of the city and to the outskirts of town. It had stopped raining for now but the sky didn’t look too promising and according to the forecast from yesterday, it’ll probably start up again so you better hurry.

Minghao parks in the lot near the entrance and where there were a few tiny flower shops. You open the glove box in front of you in search of something and Minghao notices.

“We used it up.” He says.

“Huh?” You’re not sure what he’s talking about. You were in search of a tiny flask containing some alcohol (not a safe item to have in your car) however it was an essential in an exorcist’s inventory because it could serve as a heater if what happened to you happens- “Oh, right.”

“Jeonghan told Hoshi what to do over the phone and he knew you had that in your car.” He explains.

“Right, remind me to refill it just in case. Let’s go.” You say. You hop out of the car and shiver from the cold air that hits you right in the face, your cheeks starting to rosey up immediately. “I’ll buy some flowers.” You tell Minghao and he nods.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you over there.” He says. You’d pointed out the path you had to take to your family’s grave as you’d come in, driving past the row, so you knew he’d find it.

Inside the shop it’s warm and lovely and you almost start sweating as you pay for a modest bunch of white chrysanthemums. The lady of the shop smiles softly at you and you return it as you thank her before leaving.

You trudge up the gentle slope leading towards the million rows of graves, all different shapes and sizes. And you spot Minghao from a long distance away. But he’s not at your sister’s grave, he’s further away. You stop. The image somehow burns itself into your eyelids.

You wonder who it is that he’s visiting. He didn’t tell you anything so you guessed he didn’t want to. Maybe he’d thought you’d take longer picking out flowers, which in his defence you had taken like a minute to buy them. You find yourself wanting to wait just a few more moments. Minghao doesn’t seem to see you since he’s so far away but after a minute he turns and walks toward where you’d told him he’d find the grave. You follow suit.  

“You got them?” He asks when he hears you approaching, your footsteps moderately quiet.

“Yeah, did you find it easily?” You reply. “The grave I mean. I was pretty vague.”

“Yes, no problem at all.” He says. You watch him, almost wanting him to elaborate and tell you what he’d seen but you feel that he won’t. Minghao was a pretty private person and you don’t want to pry, but it occurs to you that Minghao never mentioned any relatives to you before or anything about his family. You decide not to push it today; he’ll tell you when he’s ready if there’s anything to tell.

You place the flowers on top of the grey marble where a bunch of white lilies lay and you figure that Jeonghan must have stopped by already. You pull a key out of your pocket. The family grave is something like shelves with a closed door and a plaque on top with the names of all the people buried there. You unlock the cabinet and inside there are several white urns, each of them with neat black writing, carrying the ashes of those gone.

You’d packed a few candles and you pull them out of your bag, setting them next to the flowers. You light them and leave the lighter lying beside them. You just wanted to light them as a sign of mourning and respect because you had no intention of attempting to exorcise your sister’s spirit anymore; you’d given up after everything.

The blade with her name on it was inside the cabinet, placed beside her urn and you decided to just keep it there for now. Who knew what her ghost would do today? She probably wouldn’t even show up-

“Um, YN?” You hear Minghao say as you’re busy untying the string around the bunch of flowers.

“Yeah?” You reply, not taking your eyes off the task in your hands.

“Over there.” He nods his head to the right. It’s a minuscule gesture in your periphery but you look up. Your eyes widen at the sight.

She did come.

“That was quick.” You mumble. Minghao clears his throat, pausing.

“YN.” He gets your attention. You turn to face him, thinking he’s about to say something. “Maybe we should try to set her free.” You see he’s trying to be gentle but he’s still very serious.

“There’s no point, Hao. She won’t go.” You shrug, going back to what you were doing. “She’s never possessed anyone.”

Minghao’s hands come to rest on your shoulders before you can turn and he holds you in place. “Let me do this for you.” He pleads. “It won’t hurt to try one more time.”

Deep down, you know he’s right. But you’d been trying for years, since the first time you’d found her as a ghost. You thought you had to let her move on as quickly as possible but she never made the same attempt as you. The seasons changed and you lost hope that she would ever leave and all you could do was wonder why.

You sigh, knowing that if you didn’t try now, you’d regret it. “Fine, let’s do that.”

“Okay.” Minghao takes a good look around but there’s no one within eyesight, just masses of graves. You worry that there might be a stray ghost that would attempt to possess Minghao, which would lead to a disaster but you know that you had your gun in the bottom of your bag; you’d be able to scare it off with salt. You were too cautious to go to a cemetery without any protection.

Your sister’s spirit still hovers a few feet away, just watching you.

Minghao carefully takes the ring off and sets it down next to the candles. You’re holding your breath but for a moment nothing happens. You’re ready to be disappointed again however you see the slow movement of her ghost inching forward and toward Minghao.

You stare in awe, unsure what would happen, the blade in your hand.

The spirit gradually fades, becoming more transparent the closer she got. You can’t see her very well any more and you just have to wait a few seconds. Minghao gasps suddenly, sucking in a great big breath. You turn your head with lightning speed, completely incredulous, as you search for the sign of possession.

Right on cue, his eyes start to shine with the silver light and you take an involuntary step back, hitting the cabinet door.

“Hi.” Minghao says quietly, but his voice doesn’t sound like him. That’s not how he talks.

No way. No freaking way.

Not only had she voluntarily possessed Minghao but somehow mustered enough energy to speak through him.

“Oh my god.” You have no words suddenly, your eyes filling with tears.

Minghao, well, your sister through him, stretches for a second, tilting her head side to side, flexing Minghao’s long neck.

“Gah, why is he so stiff?” She complains. That was definitely the sort of thing your sister would do, you think immediately. She sighs and looks around, eyes landing on the grave. “These are nice, kiddo.” She comments, lifting one hand and undoing the rest of the string holding the stalks together. Before she pulls her hand away she seems to notice the lighter and picks it up. “Give this back to Hannie. It’s his.”

“Huh?” You feel like you’re floating, not really understanding what you’re looking at. You snap back to reality. And in reality your sister was possessing Minghao and talking to you so you’d better pay attention. You were trying to but you were just in too much shock.

“Right, yeah.” You say. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re sure Jeonghan had asked you about the lighter but you couldn’t find the memory. You find the words, finally. “How are you doing this?”

Minghao gives you a half smile. “Hannie came earlier. I thought I was losing energy but I ended up gaining some because of it. But it won’t be for long.”

And it hits you; this is the last time you’ll ever see her and talk to her. Actually the last. For three years you lived with no closure, mourning her in whatever way you could, but saying goodbye had never been an option.

Your throat closes up and you know you’re about to burst into tears.

“I have to go, my dear.” Minghao says sadly, his own eyes welling up. “I wanted to say goodbye if I could.”

You sniffle as a single tear escapes your eye, rolling down your cold cheek. “I know.” You close your eyes, willing yourself to stop crying. You didn’t want that to be the last image your sister saw.  

“I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I really am. I wasn’t careful enough and now you have to struggle because of what I did.” You feel a warm thumb on your cheek, Minghao’s hand cradling your face and wiping it away.

Your own hands tighten into fists, words bubbling up in your throat. The words you’d carried inside for three years but couldn’t say.

“Why did you do this?” You ask, opening your eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

Minghao’s hand drops from your cheek to your shoulder. “I thought I was protecting you if you didn’t get involved with demons the way that Jeonghan and I were. I didn’t want you to be in danger because you wanted to help out.” She explains.

“I wish you hadn’t done that.” You whisper. “I wish I’d known, that way I wouldn’t have blamed Jeonghan so much.” You say, breathing out shakily.

“I realised it too late. It’s why I didn’t want to leave - I wanted you to know the truth and for you and Jeonghan to be friends again.”

“So that’s why you didn’t leave?” It suddenly makes sense. You’d thought maybe you were holding on to her too much, holding on to the loss of her and trapping her spirit here, but it turns out it was her will keeping her here.

“Yes, but now I can be free. I know you’ll be okay. I need you to know that too. Alright, kiddo?” She asks pointedly. “You will be okay and Jeonghan too. I feel free knowing that. You can let me go too now.”

Your vision is blurring through the tears. “But I can’t let you go. I miss you too much.” You let out a quiet sob, giving into the way your body needs to release the tension in your throat.

“I know, honey, me too. But you have to go on. I told Hannie too, you have to go live and carry on like you’ve been doing.” Minghao’s other hand swipes away another tear and then tucks a loose piece of hair behind your ear. Despite the winter cold, his hand is warm. “Promise me you’ll try.”

“I-I promise.” You manage, struggling to keep it together. You knew you didn’t have a lot of time anyway. “I love you.”

Your sister smiled through Minghao. “I love you too, kiddo.” She paused. “I have to go now, I have no energy left to be in this body. One last thing: go visit Mom and Dad, okay? Take Jeonghan and Minghao too, they’ll like him for sure.” You nod, unblinking. “Goodbye, my dear.”

Minghao takes your hand, the one clutching the blade and helps you stab down to his chest. You feel a soft kiss placed on your forehead.

“Go peacefully.” You whisper, then you let the floodgates open. You were the type of person who would cry a lot if at all, which is why you tried not to but you couldn’t stop it.

The blade started to burn up in your hand, Minghao’s on top of yours but going slack until you were just holding it to his chest. You waited for a memory to light up in your mind but found yourself waiting in vain as it never came. You didn’t think about it too much while you cried.  

You felt like you lost her all over again for the first time, every fibre of your being shaking with the grief that you thought you buried those years ago, yet it all comes spilling out, like fresh blood erupting from a raw wound. The world around you fades until it’s just the lack of air in your lungs, the hot salty tears running over your cool skin, the wind blowing loudly in your ears as you shook like a leaf, shivering with renewed loss.

Minghao eventually comes back to himself and tucks your head into the crook of his neck, trying his best to keep you steady and warm as you cried your lungs out. There’s a lot of tears streaming down your face but you start to feel drops on top of your head too and you step back and look up.

You expect to see rain, but instead you’re met with snow.

It’s the first snow of this winter.

Precious, tiny snowflakes fall gently from the sky and you hold you hand facing up, trying to catch some. You didn’t know it would snow today, but as it does, you take comfort in the way the each piece of fluff cascades down to the ground. You look at Minghao, a series of snowflakes caught in his hair already, melting slowly.

“Let’s go home.” You say, eyes softening.

*

You lie on the couch under a blanket, no particular thoughts in your head. It’s getting late but you’re not sure you can sleep what with everything that happened today. Minghao is tinkering away in the kitchen to make you some tea, the possibly tenth cup since you came back from the cemetery. He maintains that you have to keep warm, especially since you were out in the cold for a while today.

You let him convince you to bundle up in warm clothes, big, cozy jumpers and fluffy socks and the blanket on top. Your heating is turned up on high and you were actually warming up for the first time in a couple of weeks.

“Here we go.” Minghao says as he places two cups of tea on the coffee table. You raise your head slightly, enough so that he can slot himself onto the couch too, so you rest your head on his lap and his hand naturally rests on your head, stroking your hair softly. You were grateful that you had Minghao around. He was being a good friend, just staying by your side quietly and patiently as you processed everything. You felt as if you were swaying like a willow in the wind and aimlessly floating down a river.  

“Thanks.” You mumble, not reaching for it. You were too comfortable to shift. There’s a sudden thought in your head. “Do we have any ice cream?” You ask without hesitation. Minghao’s fingers pause in your hair.

“Ice cream?” He repeats. “Why?”

“I haven’t had any in a long time.” You sigh. “I haven’t had any since that summer. It was one of me and my sister’s favourites and I didn’t feel like eating any without her.” You explain. You liked it more in all honesty but she ate it with you for your sake and gradually liked it too.

“Ah, I see.” He says. “We don’t have any, but I’ll buy you some tomorrow. Okay?” He pats your head gently and you nod. The gesture is small but it’s kind and it moves you for some reason and you feel tears prickling in your eyes again. You close them, thinking you don’t want to shed any more tears for today but it’s worse when you close your eyes.

Minghao notices your scrunched up face and seems to worry. “Yah, what is it?” He asks quietly. “Does something hurt?”

You sniffle, then exhale. You pause. The image behind your eyes is too vivid. “I see her face when I close my eyes sometimes, Hao.” You sigh; admitting it out loud took some weight off your chest. “I thought I could do this, y’know?” You say. “But I’m not so sure.” Your throat is closing up again.

“Hey, you can do this, okay? I know you can. The pain will lessen with time.” Minghao says, thumb stroking your arm. “You can’t forget her and you won’t, but you’ll learn to live with the memory of her. That’s all you can do. You’re only human after all. Be kind to yourself because it will take time.”

He spoke as if he knew what he was talking about, but it never occurred to you in that moment to wonder or to ask. “Until then, lean on me. Don’t keep that pain to yourself.” He said gently. You felt yourself relax a little under his warm touch, a wave of fatigue washing over you suddenly.

“Okay…” You mumbled as you felt yourself drift off, finally warm enough.    

*

A/N: thanks for reading!! feedback is always appreciated <3  I’m kind of excited to be in the really last home stretch of the fic, it’s been a long time since i started it, i’m just happy with how far it’s come. stay tuned for the last 3 chapters. there’s a chapter 8a that won’t be relevant to the plot but the 9 and 10 will wrap everything up yayyy!! see you later <3

*copyright 2021- © momobani

[incorrectdmp]

DMP SERIES FINALE PT 2 OUT OF CONTEXT SPOILERS

well. it’s the end of an era. can’t say this is gonna be the *last* ooc spoilers because i may do one for the epilogue and i ever decide to do another full binge of the show i may go back and do all the episodes before i started doing these as a fun lookback/theme of the binge to separate it from my last but. we sure are here and at the end.

BUT FIRST, blog update:

before we start i wanna say my game plan going forward is in fact to keep up this blog. again, sorry for the lack of maintenance outside of OOC spoilers while prep for the finale happened, as you saw there was. a lot. i’m gonna say i’m gonna truly start giving this blog a fresh coat of paint and repairs IN THE NEW YEAR, because i need some time to crash and also it is in fact the holiday season.

I’ll probably be fixing the tag guide more thoroughly than last time i did, and start dedicating some actual time to finding more quotes and gaining a more fresh and up to date backlog. most of my quotes in the backlog are very much the dynamics and circumstances as they were late s3/early s4 and i wanna make sure everyone’s development shines through. i may add some new tag categories to specify whether this is during void or post-void interactions, as certain characters are not able to interact during post-void, and circumstances changing allows for certain things to be more likely to happen.

and finally for updates, i’ll put this behind a spoiler as it is episode spoils:

i will be adding a chaos van tag. if chaos van ends up being an actual project that happens i am more than willing to continue doing incorrect quotes for it, and it will probably feature a fuckton of new characters to add to this blog. i will probably have to separate tagging into two distinct groups: one for dmp and one for chaos van if this does indeed happen, but for now when i make the chaos van tag it will be stuff pertaining to the hypothetical interactions and vibes of that ending, until an actual project may be more on the horizon or a possibility.

anyWAYS on with M E M E S

Charlie dies of Typhoid

Cant believe gcmillicutty is fucking dead

LET THE DOG IN GUYS THEY WANT IN THEY SMELL PRISONER’S DILEMMA 

Sad ste D: 

Dmp is my favourite anime

THIS SURE IS SOME JRPG FINAL BOSS SHIT

Chicken goat eboy body

Alex gets a splitscreen of him talking to himself

CHILD ANGY

Ezra be like: “one of us had to be drawn from a cursed angle and it’s gonna be me”

Charlie’s reached it. Her final form. 

Charlie is finally free of redesigns

Wow i love Hopes and Dreams from the hit indie game Undertale (2015) by Toby Fox

Time to bullshit a cosmic horror story with the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BABEY

ITS CHARLIE’S TURN TO BREAK THE FOURTH WALL

This is the only time charlie’s won in her entire life

GEEEEEEET DUNKED ON

FUCK the black stars, all my homies hate the black stars

“The black stars aint shit” -stephen

Black stars smoothie

Cant believe charlie just adopted ezra from her rat NFT bro brother

Thorin, an 8 year old child, be like: “yeah ill keep my memories of dying dozens of times because i wanna watch scary movies”

Ezra be like: “can i have anime wings pls”

Longinus selfie stick

One final “you have ten minutes”, just to fill everyone with primal fear

GET IN THE BACK STE

EZRA BE DAMMED IF HE HAS TO BE IN THE BACK FOR ANOTHER GROUP SHOT

Percy is 100% not aware he was not in frame

Stephen has the mii music playing in his head at this moment

One doc smile, as a treat

Stephen is a smart man, but every minute he spends with the awakened they rub off on him and he loses another brain cell

CG be like: fuck this shit i’m out

VALEZRA MIXTAPE IS FIRE

The crane/reid bloodline now spans MULTIPLE UNIVERSES

The pen is mightier than the sword but nothing is mightier than these hands

Valezra be like:

On god? On god. (you cant see it but im crying)

EZRA BE GETTIN THAT PRINCESS PEACH

King jock jock

CHOCOLATE THUNDER AND CARAMEL CHAOS

ITALIAN MUSIC FOR EZRA REPRISE

The crane/reid family: known for FIGHTING GODS

And then doc’s heart grew three sizes that day

I cant believe sprite’s gonna have to be brought to pravum

Artorius ponders the orb:

Artorius “penis hands” lynch (no i cannot BEGIN to explain the context of this)

Ezra Crane: Prince of Bel Air

Bring technology into pravum, but not enough to kickstart capitalism

Hailey gets infinite god power: asks for a ham sandwich

BYE HOES

T MOBILE NEVER DIES

Hailey giving yugo gambling info like

SO LONG CAPTAIN LASAGNA o7 

Damn you hailey making me think my phone is winning

Yugo playing the long con, waiting 7 years to plan that phone call

Its better than being a colour

Coffee and prunes

Ive never cried more over mac and cheese and hot dogs

HONORARY DETECTIVE HERNANDEZ

Wow smh juniper CANT just live in the void?

Dorkus Fucking Dies.png

Yknow what, fuck you *unkills dorkus*

Fish soul got SNATCHED

TREE BROTHERS

Theres no choice, doc told you to. You have to now

SOUTHERN MOM RETURNS

Dorkus slides in on heelies like

Ranch (not farm)

Percy, like the rest of us, gets to suffer drawing charlie’s redesign

“TIME IS A HUMAN CONSTRUCT ANYWAYS BYEEEEE”

MORE KISS

Grace garden’s priorities: taking the chair with her

The world’s worst heirloom: cutaux 

PAT. THE. HEAD.

Great we got a new handshake meme format

KISS PT WHATEVER WE’RE ON

HES HOME YOUR HONOUR. I WILL CRY. 

Doc told charlie to go to horny jail 

YA TRAUMA IS GONE WITH THE POWER OF GOD

Aaaaaaaallll according to plaaaaan

CG slipped on his ass and was like “yeah i meant to do that”

Get In The Van.

The second worst van in the multiverse

Me since the episode where the van was introduced:

One more stupid ste and stupid percy for the road (literally ig)

Special thanks to our dear friends kevin mcleaod and john bartman

YES CG WE ARE CRYING WHY DO YOU ASK?

And finally:

When i ascended i took dreamland with me

[goldpilot22]

4 6 11 24 :]

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

lysander and sterling. I love those two gay bastards but SO much of the time they turn out looking just somehow off model even when they aren't. (I have a theory that it's because both of their story arcs involve trying to be something they aren't at heart. they both look the most like themselves during soft moments, and the least when they're being intimidating/aggro.)

also fifth's scars are just So complicated. as much as I love drawing them, their design is kinda a pain. wouldn't change it though cause I love how it looks

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

hmmm subconsciously I think I'm inspired by a lot of the characters and designs I see on social media. I tend to look up to other artists who I follow or am friends with, and tend to (consciously or not) take inspiration from their creations. I guess maybe it's because I don't really consume a lot of visual media otherwise (like, I only rarely watch movies or shows) so the art and characters I see on socials is what's there to stick into my brain.

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

I usually have some sorta youtube videos going - my favorite channels are fascinating horror and disaster breakdown, they both cover disasters and other incidents (disaster breakdown specifically does airplane and sometimes train crashes) in a respectful way and don't sensationalize it, which is nice. I've watched through all of their backlogs though so I have to branch out into other channels, some of which are less respectful :/.

24. Do your references include stock images

ALL THE TIME BABEY. stock images my Beloved. literally almost every time when I draw smth with a well constructed pose it's cause I used a stock photo as reference. I also use this site called vishopper that has a lot of pictures of people for pose references (it's meant for like stock photos to put in architectural 3d models sorta thing, but I use it for this)

[viscountessevie]

Yesssss. You’re back!!! I wanted to let you know how happy I am to see you back and now I have someone to share my frustrations and rage about this stupid show and how horrible they’ve been to Simone and other POCs.

Related to this post and similar ask answered here

YOU GUYSSS STOP I'M BLUSHING!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK! You're all so sweet I might cry but also I forgot how much I love and hate getting asks because yall are so eloquent and always take such care and time to write these long asks and I always wanna give back the same energy. But now I'm stressed (affectionate/in the good way that motivates you) cos I feel like I opened the floodgates again - a lot of asks coming in tonight. Yall went one month without screaming to the void and now we're back in business babey - it feels like a month's worth of asks its kinda funny and I missed yall tooo

So if yall are okay let's take a pause sending essays in til I've cleared my current backlog (you can still send if its like pressing and you need to get it out but please be patient as I go through every one thoroughly so I can give back the care and effort yall give me!)

That being said, I'm happy to be back!! I'm here to listen to all your frustrations and scream about this show because somehow it got us hooked and we can't let go. Mainly its the books and the interesting and good characters and actors who understand them that's still keeping us here honestly.

Aights back to going through all your asks, buckle up guys it's going to be a long night and lots of opinions are bursting from my ask box let's go!

[briightskies]

   name:  Louillan

   age:  24

   pronouns:  any pronouns work tbh.  literally just pick and choose, shake it up, surprise me lmao  [ they/he/she/it ]   | nonbinary rights babey 💛🤍💜🖤

   orientation:  biromantic asexual

   other:  taurus  ( may 4 )  | INFP | 🇨🇦 | 🇵🇭 

     hi i am a mess and i have minimal self control so i queue all my posts but i have genuinely 3000 posts in my drafts backlogging my queue so if u see me rb stuff from you months later i’m not sorry lmao.  ( esp art @ artists!!!!  as a fellow artist i swear i’m not only liking art i am reblogging ur work in like 5-6 business months srry )

     i’m a former art student  ( now chemistry student ), i have adhd, am a huge advocate for self care and healing, and i like posting about uhhhhhhh fandom posts, aesthetic stuff, stim stuff, shitposts, stuff that reminds me of my OCs, and cheesy positivity stuff :’D

     i currently don’t have any triggers that i know of personally, but please ask me to tag stuff if you need me to!  otherwise i don't really tag things that might be triggering sorry. i block on sight all porn bots, nsfw blogs, and empty blogs. please also let me know if i ever reblog from someone gross so i can delete the post <3

   inbox/submissions:  open!

   currently hyperfixated on:  omori. specifically stranger my beloved blorbo

   current main fandom(s):  omori, hermitcraft, kindergarten 3, we happy few, portal 2, happy death day  ( 1&2 ), hamefura/hametsuo, you and me and her, stardew valley, slay the princess

   queue:  15 or 47 posts per day  ( depends on how much drafts i have and if i have enough free time to queue my posts )

   other blogs:  [ under the cut!! ]

* - denotes secondary blogs/sideblogs

   personal blog -  [ you are here! ]

   art blog - @briightart

   *incorrect quotes  ( my OCs )  - @incorrect-gdbgcrewquotes

   kindergarten 2 fandom blog - @kg2hub

   *kindergarten 2 zine info blog - @kindergarten2zine

   *photo ref blog - @kand1d

[ASK BLOGS]

   *kinderswitch au  ( kindergarten 2 )  - @/kinderswitch

   portal 2 au  ( kindergarten 2 )  - @askkgportal

   roleswap!huxley twins au  ( kindergarten 2 )  - @displacedbias

[RP BLOGS]

   *Alice  ( kindergarten 2 )  - @bxneless

   Angie Yonaga  ( danganronpa v3 )  - @atuasent

   Berdly  ( deltarune )  - @berdbrainx

   *Felix Huxley  ( kindergarten 2 | inactive )  - @eggphcbe

   Felix Huxley  ( kindergarten 2 )  - @cainxtwin

   Frisk  ( undertale | no mercy timeline )  - @emptyxhere

   Ghost OCs  ( fandomless | multimuse )  - @ghcstlydj

   Kris Dreemurr  ( deltarune )  - @daggcrisms

   Melissa Chase  ( milo murphy’s law | inactive )  - @luckyxbet-a

   Mettaton &  Napstablook  ( undertale | opposite personality au | multimuse | inactive )  - @brashnmodest

   Molly Blyndeff  ( epithet erased | inactive )  - @justxdumb

   *Monty  ( kindergarten 1 &  2 )  - @spellchk

   *Ron  ( kindergarten 2 )  - @redxbias

   Ted Huxley  ( kindergarten 2 )  - @kindsnob

   Zenith  ( deltarune/undertale | player OC )  - @xceancyes

[IC BLOGS]

   *Devon  ( Flint )  Butterworth  ( fandomless | ghost OC | opposite personality au )  - @flintrocks94

   *Devon  ( Flint )  Butterworth  ( undertale/deltarune | player OC | inactive )  - @flintrox94

   *Devon Butterworth  ( fandomless | ghost OC )  - @inscrxbed

   *Julia Ikeda  ( fandomless | orch OC )  - @triiiplebaka

   *Kris Dreemurr  ( deltarune | deltafell au | inactive )  - @caxtiontape

   *Kris Dreemurr  ( deltarune | opposite personality au | inactive )  - @triiiplebaka-a

   *Lori Hodges  ( fandomless | band OC )  - @cafebeanss

   *Vincent Butterworth  ( fandomless | ghost OC | opposite personality au )  - @theviolinking

   *Vinnie Butterworth  ( fandomless | ghost OC )  - @imvinniehi

   Zenith  ( deltarune/undertale | player OC )  - @xceancyes

[COLOUR AESTHETIC]

   *Red - @redyysetgo

   *Orange - @orxngeyouglad

   *Yellow - @yellowlemen

   *Green - @greenthxmbs

   *Blue - @whysoblxe

   *Purple - @prestopxrple

   *Pink - @pinkflxffy

   *White - @snxwywhite

   *Black - @blxckisedgy

[CHARACTER AESTHETIC]

   *Aaron Ramirez - @noiseofhistory

   *Adrianne Bennett - @shyflowxr

   *Blake - @albinemo

   *Brian Mercado - @ordxrlybeats

   *Cheryl Kaneko - @acesarcasm

   *Cody Philips - @freckledgamer

   *Daniel Pakingan - @baker-boi

   *Devon (Flint) Butterworth - @fxre-starter

   *Devon Butterworth - @nerd-dreamxr

   *Elaine Rivers - @sweet-flutes

   *Julia Ikeda - @neon-bangles

   *Kris Dreemurr - @eatmxss

   *Lori Hodges - @cxffeeholic

   *Melanie Roland - @pxpulargirl

   *Noah Gibbons - @anxdiaries

   *Tristan Calleros - @silently-numb

   *Vincent Butterworth - @narcissitea

   *Vinnie Butterworth - @bassdrop-dork

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 1/12/21

sometimes, one must retreat into a big pile of fictional settings. i didn’t do that this week but it’s the thought that counts

don’t want to keep up with the rest of my bullshit/want to be alerted specifically for tuesdayposts? follow @tuesday-again​ , where i will reblog each week’s post Once to archive it.

also i forgot to drop the 2021 tuesday again no problem playlist last week so here it is now if you want to follow along throughout the year

listening exoflash, by fever the ghost feat lealani. this is some dreamy-surreal alt electronica? alt electropop? i have significant hearing loss (TM) and so i think i am missing out on some of the melodies in the base bc i have lost that frequency range. like i can feel my headphones pulse but i can’t hear anything

do i know what the song is about? not a fuckin clue. do i like the mouthfeel of the lyrics? yes! rhyming intonation/incantation off each other charms me, bc i am a simple woman with simple tastes. there’s a very deliberate, enunciated delivery that i enjoy, again bc of the hearing loss. i do think some of the lyrics on genius are wrong (i hear “crown your enemies” in the first line instead of “prawn your enemies” for example) but i can’t really. back that up with anything

reading y2k is back babey- this popular mechanics article is a good quick read of why a common fix back in ye olde 1999 is failing again. everything is a teetering pile of precariously balanced quick fixes relying on legacy code. i myself worked in COBOL more times than i want to think about in my undergrad career, often alongside the octogenarian profs who had written it. pop mech’s oral history of y2k is also extremely good.

the thing i came here to talk about is this autostraddle article on making a go-bag. it is more of a personal essay than a list of practical tips, but it does not fearmonger. this is the point of mutual aid: it is important it is to make sure the people and community around you are more resilient. mutual aid is not just running a cool decentralized thrift store so you can declutter, although that can be very helpful in many communities. if you are all better prepared for various flavors of disasters, your neighborhood or community or circle will come out of it better.

i’ve lived in hurricane zones almost my entire life, and i’ve had a go bag my entire life. i can see mine right now from my bed, i think they’re important things to have, and i would be happy to answer questions privately via ask or dm. the infographic above from the city of seattle is pretty decent- yours will probably be region-specific. new year, new check on all your safety measures. make sure your smoke alarm batteries and carbon monoxide batteries and go-bag are all topped up. test your fire extinguisher while you’re at it.

watching i was going to watch the first few eps of the new arsene lupin show on netflix and write a charming little thing about my personal history with detective stories, and then i had a less than ideal weekend. so i am making less work for myself and linking a food crime. i hate layered pasta dishes with a burning passion but i want to taste this. just to see. their faces at the end are SO good. thank u ms el-waylly

playing one of the most exciting arcs of early january is my dear acquaintance @believerindaydreams becoming a fallout blog. now that i am relegated to an underpowered laptop while i wrangle getting my desktop fixed, i am back in new vegas bc it’s a ten-year-old game, it runs on fuckin anything. i had a truly bizarre configuration of mods on this thing we’ll see how well it plays with (checks notes) ignoring whatever the fuck i was doing in the main storyline and fucking around in Big MT.

making ending big things makes me anxious. and i am really nowhere near finishing this! i still have a lot of time left with it! at least an hour weaving in all the thread ends i didn’t bother with the first time around, some unknown dozens of hours backstitching various details and outlining the blue frame, and then the whole washing/pressing/framing rigamarole that (counting drying time) will take up a full day. i started this last summer, put it aside for weeks at a time, and it’s been with me in a very real way through a lot of bullshit.

part of the bad adhd brain is having difficulty forming and maintaining new routines- when i no longer have this to fall back on as part of my crafting routine i uhhhhh don’t really know what i’ll do. i don’t really have another Big Project lined up.

unlike knitting, where i find the act soothing and i knit as more of a process thing as opposed to an end-product thing, embroidery is very much a “i want the end product very badly” thing. and i can only have so much cross stitch displayed in my home. besides the smaller glitch version of this sampler, which is literally almost done and needs perhaps another hour of finishing before it gets washed/pressed/framed, i don’t have anything really on the docket. i want my own version of the “wretched hive” star wars sampler i made my sister, and i have a small pillow in the fun chromatic aberration font planned, but both of those have fewer complicated color changes and shifts and should stitch up fairly quickly.

i dunno. might go back to traditional embroidery for a bit- there’s an old project where i need to rip out a bunch of satin stitch and redo it in long-and-short BUT i also need to buy a whole bunch of new thread for that. might sew some more patches on my jacket for if i ever go outside again. i’m trying to get through the backlog of half-finished projects with shit i already have rather than ordering a bunch of shiny new things bc uhhh money.

[ghosterisk]

MAX DIFFICULTY ON RING FIT BABEY

AND EARNED ALL 4 SEASONS OF BNHA I'M FUCKING RIPPED

--now I have to earn the 1st season of Demon Slayer and backlog for season 5 of BNHA

[sas-afras]

The Collab of the Century!

hey there! i know its been a while since ive made an Official Post about the status of SAS, but guess what this is? one of those posts!! remember when i said i had big news, and to get hype? this is the news!

SAS is back and better than ever, with the help of @yell0w-jacket​ as the new colorist! it’s a collab now, babey!

in exchange, im also working as the colorist for the upcoming comic Traveller’s Tricks (which is gonna be super cool and you should check it out once it comes out!) so also get hype for that!

pages are gonna start being posted again next week, starting monday! unfortunately i only have a few pages backlogged, but im gonna be doing my best to get them out at a steady pace now that i have help.
thank u all for sticking with me during the hiatus, i appreciate it loads

[armsdealing]

✑ / ✼ /✎

ASK ME ABOUT RP / accepting! / @maternalmelancholy

✑ Do you prefer writing OCs or canon characters? Why?

Original characters, babey! 99% of what you will see here is original characters. More than that, I prefer to write with other original characters over canons. There’s multiple reasons for why this:

When I write my own characters, I get to pour all my attention into building them. These are characters I can definitely see myself using outside of roleplay. I take pleasure in coming up with their backgrounds, researching for their stories and building their worlds. It’s a hobby that wouldn’t be nearly as appealing if I were using someone else’s character, especially characters that have years (if not decades) worth of backlog (like Marvel characters, or characters from longrunning TV shows). When I create my own content, and build off my own ideas, I enjoy that I own them, and that I can drastically change them or scrape them and just do whatever I want.

Going off the above mentioned, too much source material immediately triggers archive panic for me. Which is why the canon characters that appeal to me tend to come from limited media (Niko Bellic from GTA? essentially one videogame. Viktor from Years and Years? The whole series was six episodes. Shadow Moon? One book, a novella, a short story, and a TV show that’s barely beginning). I like characters with minimal canon, that I can easily infuse with my own touch, that aren’t immediately ultra popular, and where I won’t have to deal with two dozen other portrayals. Not because of jealousy, but because I’ll simply feel less attracted to the idea; if I’m gonna write a canon, I’d like to be filling a void of some sort. There’s already many good/incredible portrayals of, I don’t know, The Punisher? and so, even if I had a sensible grasp on the source material, I would be already satisfied with the portrayals I find. There’s no void I feel that I could fill.

I honestly feel like canon characters, especially popular (read: white, male, cis) canon characters, but really, just canon characters from popular media in general are simultaneously put on pedestals and subject to lower standards. I’ve come across indie rpers that link to their characters wiki bio and have the gall to demand OCs with intricate back stories. I’m not crazy about these rpers. If I am interested in canons, more often than not, they come from obscure material, or are very minor, so they are more open to the rper’s creativity and they have to write content for them.  

Lastly, I prefer writing with other OCs because I am more interested in the plausibility of the interactions between characters, and, again, the creations from other writers. In my mutant verse, the X-Men don’t exist (they are, at best, fictional), but I am interested in original mutant characters. 

❉ What is a dream AU for you? If you haven’t done it yet, why not?

Spies. I have always wanted spies. Years ago I laid the foundation of what can probably be best described as a hybrid of the 007 franchise and Kingsman. I’ve always wanted to make it into a closed verse/group, with emphasis put on missions and, in the Kingsman angle, lessons and trials not unlike those in the movie. Nowadays I’m less interested in upkeep of a group verse (and I never, even back then, hoped to fill all those roles! That’s fucking crazy. It was just a general outline), and more on just... spy au between characters. Maybe even tiny little groups where missions are roughly sketched out and then written. I truly am all about the romantic aspect of the genre. 

✎ When choosing a name for your muse, did you pick something special or meaningful in some way?

The way I name my characters is a process that consists of several questions:

Does it make sense for the character to be named like this?

If at that point I happen to know the parents of the characters already, their input and personality is also used.

Does it sound good?

Does it look good? 

Does it give off the right vibe for the character?

Often these questions will have me hitting the name websites, but I find that my best names come up when I just so happen to want to use a certain name right off the bat. If they have a cool meaning, that is great! (If I don’t have a good name in mind already, that may also push me toward picking one), but more often than not, it’s accidental. Charles, Mikhail, Domingo, Dennis (and the nickname, Red), Marcelo, Flor -- their names didn’t come from a website but from me wanting to use the name. If they accomplish the questions above, I may also retroactively grant them a more special meaning in-universe. 

[thenerdcommander]

I have a personal backlog of things I gotta get done first but would anyone like it if I reopened commissions sometime soon?  I’m drafting up a new post with new info (I’m taking away renders for the time being.  Chibis this time babey) but would anyone even care?  I want to get an idea of what I’ll be dealing with here.  Either I’ll get a ton of interested people or none at all.

Probably none because I can’t do turians but what can you do really

[woolspun]

GENERAL ROLEPLAY STYLE & PREFERENCES

BOLD : applies to you. ITALICS : only applies to you sometimes. STRIKETHROUGH : does not apply to you. elaborate on any points you’d like with an *

TYPES OF ROLEPLAY / HOW I DO THREADS: I don’t. I just do whatever is on my dash when I’m online. mainly asks. I do little short things mostly. I do my threads on discord. long - running threads that slowly build upon the muses*. ( * i’ll continue a thread until it seems exhausted or there’s a good place to stop, typically. )

PLOTTING PREFERENCES: wing it. get a general idea ooc, run with it and plot further if need be. long expansive thought out arcs.  ( i’ll do it all, babey. ) 

TYPES OF THREADS I DO / PREFER: one - liners only. whatever dash shenanigans I’m online for. para or multi - para. literal novels*. ( * honestly, my novels are done usually via discord, though i think i’ve done a post here and there that took a few hours to write because it was p heavy with lore ? i can’t remember. )

REPLY SPEED FOR THREADS AND CONSISTENCY KEEPING THREADS: I lose threads all the time and usually get back to them. I tend to lose threads but please tell me if I have and I’ll reply. I drop threads pretty quickly. I’m really slow but I will get back to you*. I reply on a schedule / queue. I usually reply within a week. I reply every day. I reply almost instantly. ( * i can be slow or fast. it depends on what’s going on in my life. )  

ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL SHIPS: I don’t do these ships. I’m not against them happening but it is not the main point of my blog*. ships will have to be discussed a lot ooc**. super chemistry based. I love doing ships, hmu I probably already ship it so just ask. I ship really quickly. autoship or ship within a few interactions. I mainly rp for the cute ship fluff or angsty smut. ( * i feel weird as an original character because generally most people think i am actively hunting for ships, so i tend to be kinda closed off with them. ) ( ** honestly i’m very easy to get ‘ into ‘ a ship, but it can be awkward doing ship things with someone who i don’t talk to. i spend a lot of my work and school day sitting silently while busy ofc, so i tend to have a backlog of things to talk about for funsies. )

SMUT: I do not do smut at all. I’m very selective about it*. I only do it on a separate blog / on discord. I mainly only do asks relating to nsfw headcanons on Sundays. I write it a medium amount. I write it all the time and love to. I am comfortable with foreplay and fade - to - blacks but nothing further. ( * i’ve written smut on this blog once or twice as standalone things. i’m okay with writing it, but i do love a slowburn buildup or something similar to that. )

ACTIVE HOURS: mornings, 8 – 10. midday, 11 – 1. afternoon, 2 – 5. evenings, 6 – 8. night, 9 – 12. ungodly hours of the day, 1 – onwards. ( * i don’t have an answer for this. it’s literally all over the place. )

ACTIVITY SCHEDULE: super slow and sporadic, like once a month or so. slow and sporadic, week - long gaps between activity*. bi - weekly ish. weekly activity. daily activity. I’m online nearly all the time. ( * i’m in dental school and i have a lot of projects + tests. sometimes i go awhile with my activity, but i do check the app and such. )

STARTERS: I don’t do starter calls. I want to do starter calls but often don’t have time*. I do selective calls. I don’t do calls but always feel free to ask me for one. I post calls rarely, regularly, often. ( * lmao too shy to bother. )

AUS: I don’t do aus. my blog is an au but outside of that I don’t do them.  i sometimes do them but only with a lot of plotting. I have a couple of aus already, feel free to request them. I have aus coming out of my ears, please interact with them. I love making aus, hmu to plot if you think of one. there are some aus I won’t do.

CROSSOVERS: I don’t do crossovers. I’m selective with crossovers. I love crossovers. 

Tagged: i stole from @eternasci​ Tagging: whoever would like to, please help yourself !

[incorrectdmp]

DMP SEASON 4 EPISODE 6 OUT OF CONTEXT SPOILERS

so uh. wow. BIGASS spoilers incoming 

ok so first off. announcement. i’m gonna be clearing out all of the cuttlective quotes in my backlog the same way i did with perlencia so they don’t get too outdated real fast, so i’m gonna post them all in a big quote bomb. there’s 9 of them so i’m gonna do 5 tomorrow and 4 the day after. youre getting these today instead and also i really dont wanna post unmarked spoilers until tomorrow lmao

ALSO SO CHAOS GOD IS A THING. i’m uh. gonna add him to the tag list tomorrow, i’ll start filling out a selection of quotes for him going forward. if anyone has any quotes for him, go ahead and submit them!!!

anyways on with the ooc spoilers

Percy: c:

Yugo gets revived from the dead and immediately questions why they’re in a blockbuster

 just casually revive your homies in a Blockbuster nbd

Yugo doesn’t even know about mg’s edgy redesign 

Ezra: so we’re in an anime??? 

You just gotta beliEEEEEEEEVE 

MAGICAL GIRL GUN

Mg: i KILLED YOU?? Yugo: i got better

Reverse lotus eater

Juno really just made a wholeass anime here huh

King dedede relentlessly bullies hailey huang

I think its important to reiterate that king dedede from kirby is a relevant and important part of the plot of discord murder party

2go

Happy father’s day to everybody expect artorius 

Valencia #girlboss

Ploops working at denny’s is canon

WE GET BOTH MOM AND DAD BACK WHAT A BLESSED DAY

Christine burns junior’s bandanna and thank fuck because i always forgot to draw it

COUNTRY ROADS TAKE ME HOME

Rip tommy’s hair barely knew you

Tommy really just looked death in the face and said fuck off

Yugo: that’s some king shit right there

Even when he’s literally being crushed by a building, graeme garden still is a dick

Grace Girlboss Garden

“Oh shit the bar!”

VINCENT MARSHALL REID LET YOURSELF BE HAPPY OR FUCKING ELSE

The Cranes are built different babey~

DE-DE-DEMONS

MG: i’ll kill you all

Vinny: do it coward

“EAT SHIT YOU CASTLEVANIA FUCK” ITS ALWAYS THE FUCKING FRENCH BLAME IT ON THE GODDAMN FRENCH

“and then everyone clapped”

LOKI WORKING WEEK??????????

(for legal reasons this is a joke i know what alex said in the post show)

THIS TUMBLR SEXYMAN FUCK

The goddamn bit wheel was plot relevant 

Chaos God: MURDER GOD HAS FALLEN I AM THE NEW LEADER OF THE DECEPTICONS

So guys ezra isnt my hyperfixation anymore

Me: i have very high standards for what characters become my favourites

Chaos god: *exists

Me:

THE BLOODPACT IS BROKEN AT LAST

[squeakadeeks]

What up, squeaks. I can understand how you feel with not being in the mood to do what you like in order to get through the day/week/life, but taking a few weeks off cos just to reboot your self from it might be a nice idea. You could do a bit more art like things to replace cos cause ngl, we miss seeing ya dank art and haven't seen anything new on your other sites (then again, might be blind, no idea tho). Overall, all of us hope you don't burn yourself out.

YEA i am planing on taking a week or two off, but already i CRAVE THE STITCH so want to do some other things, keep myself busy babey!!!! 

And heck!! sorry about the lack of art! I’ve mostly been doing sketches, and some self-indulgent stuff that i feel embarrassed to post :’y But I can try and post some backlog stuff i have, as well as some of my more recent sketches :0