#it's all about showing what he could have become. every scar is just another version of teru

[computercreature]

[id: panel from mob psycho manga that shows teru sweating nervously in front of a black background. someone offscreen says "controlling people won't make anyone loyal to you." end id]

gets up falls over gets up runs around falls over gets up explodes

[happylittledrabbles]

Stream of Realization

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugo x Izuku Midoriya

Character Count: ~4,500K

Rating: Explicit, 18+

AO3

Katsuki becomes obsessed with a sex cam worker named Pro D after his unfulfilled sexual fantasies toward Izuku accumulate to the point of severe sexual frustration. He watches Pro D weekly, and on this particular week, he is delighted to hear that Pro D is doing a challenge: outlast him in masturbating, and he gets to choose what Pro D does the next week. Katsuki loves watching his favorite adult streamer, but if only...

If only Pro D were Izuku...if only...

—

It’s nearly ten. Katsuki knows this because he’s been checking every clock in his vicinity every five minutes. He made dinner but didn’t eat it. He turned on the TV and looked on listlessly, his eyes snapping to his phone once he believed enough time had passed.

Now, he sits at his desk, waiting.

Waiting for Pro D to begin his stream in lingerie inspired by Deku’s hero costume.

Katsuki has come to terms with the fact that he watches men who look like his childhood enemy-turned-friend strip and fuck themselves on camera. He was ashamed at first and couldn’t even look Izuku in the eye the next morning when he came by Katsuki’s office to chat after finishing up at school. He avoided Izuku like the plague until he was forced to reckon with what he had done when he sat down in anticipation for yet another Deku-themed stream and masturbated so furiously that he nearly passed out on the desk. After that, he accepted that he was a pervert, a pathetic man who pays men to dress up like Deku as often as possible.

Pro D is Katsuki’s favorite streamer. He looks just like Izuku. His chest, his slim hips, his strong thighs, and even the scars he draws on himself are in around the same places as Izuku has them. It’s uncanny watching him. Even the way he moves elicits a sort of Izuku-ness, his gestures a bit shy at first before he gains the courage to continue. Then he puts on a show.

Katsuki had been transfixed the first time he came across Pro D’s stream. He had been wearing that stupid little mask with the ears Izuku chose in his costume’s earlier version to obscure his face, and as much as Katsuki had verbally torn it to shreds when he first saw it, it had actually been the reason why he stopped scrolling to watch Pro D’s stream the entire way through. It provided anonymity, which allowed him to project Izuku completely onto him. It could have easily been Izuku on the other side of the screen, and Katsuki never would have known.

He masturbated like it was Izuku. Every weekend he sat at his desk, lotion and tissues ready, his fly undone and computer cursor hovering over the refresh button on Pro D’s channel. And he’d watch Pro D wave at the camera and not say a word as he undid the front of Deku’s costume, exposing his lean and muscular body, and grabbing one of the toys he’d use for the stream.

9:59.

Katsuki blinks and it’s ten.

Refresh, refresh, refresh…

“Hey, everyone.”

Since his first stream, Pro D has invested in a voice changer, which makes his voice low and smooth.

Only his bust is visible within the frame, and he’s fully clothed. He waves and cocks his head, the ears on the mask flopping to the side. Katsuki can’t hide the tender smile that crosses his lips at the sight of Pro D resembling a puppy. That’s what Izuku reminds him of, too. An adorable little puppy, naïve and sometimes stubborn but who loves unconditionally, no matter how much he’s abused.

“Today we’re going to do something a little different,” he says as his gloved fingers raise to his zipper and begin to painstakingly pull it down, tooth by tooth. “We’re going to jack off together today. I want you to match my masturbation rhythm. If you don’t come by the time I come, then you get to choose what I do for next week’s stream. And I’m trusting you all to be honest.”

He puts a finger to his lips, and Katsuki can imagine him winking. One thing he enjoys more about watching Pro D than fantasizing about Izuku on his own is that Pro D adds his little affectations that Izuku would never do. Izuku has the opposite of sex appeal when he’s doing it on purpose. Of course Katsuki finds him sexy regardless of what he does, but he’s seen Izuku try and fail at flirting with girls at parties and Pro Hero galas. He’s a lost cause for seduction. Pro D, on the other hand, knows just what his audience wants. He knows what his audience has (money) and knows just how to extract it from them, and this includes Katsuki.

He’s spent almost 70,000 yen this month alone on sending virtual gifts to Pro D to get him to pay attention to him. He’s said Katsuki’s screen name five times, and each time, Katsuki came on the spot as if Pro D had pressed a button.

Katsuki can’t come before Pro D. He can’t. He has too many ideas for next week’s stream to lose and not get to use any of them.

So he frees his cock from his boxers and watches as Pro D stands up, only his chest and the top of his hips in the frame now, and unzips his costume until his body is revealed, the beam from the ring light behind his laptop casting him in a golden hue.

“To make things more difficult for me, you all will control this thruster machine that thrusts faster the more likes we get on the stream. So be sure to get this stream to the very top of the charts! I’m counting on you.” He dips his mask-covered face down into the camera and gives a peace sign. “However, I’ve had lots of practice, so don’t count me out of the competition just yet. Oh, thank you for the teddy bear, dynamight_murder69!”

The teddy bear costs 7,000 yen, but Katsuki sends it before he can think logically. He has to hold back a groan at how Pro D’s voice (it’s fake, but his voice nonetheless) strokes his stupid screen name. It was almost a turn-off the first time he read it, but Katsuki realized that Pro D was addressing him. They had shared a connection for however long it took Pro D to read the donation, process it, and think about it afterward before moving on to his next act. Pro D knows him. So the 7,000 yen is gone without another thought.

“Gifts count, too, so send those along to make sure this baby goes into overdrive.” Pro D disappears from frame for a few seconds before bringing in the aforementioned machine. It’s a black rounded cube with a dildo stuck onto a metal rod coming from inside the cube. He zooms the camera out before turning around to show off the modified portion of the costume on his ass. He’s included a zipper for easy access, which he undoes and sways his ass in front of the camera.

“I hope all 10,000 of my fans enjoy this special stream,” he says, spreading apart an asscheek to put his rosy, tight asshole on full display. “I got a promotion today, so I’ve been quite happy all day. And I’m so excited to share this happiness with you all.”

Katsuki wouldn’t use the word ‘happy’ to describe how he feels at this moment. No, if he were to use a synonym, it’d be ecstatic, euphoric, entranced. There’s also so much blood rushing to his cock from his sudden arousal that his head feels like it’s full of pillow fuzz, and it takes everything in him to keep his head up and his hand on his cock. He lets out a heavy breath as Pro D lubes up two fingers and traces the rim of his hole before plunging them in.

“Hah…nnn…it’s so tight,” Pro D whines as he pumps his fingers, arching his back to show off his salacious actions. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle this cock…it’s so big…”

Fuck, Katsuki thinks as he grips his cock even tighter. He loves it when Pro D does this—saying things that Katsuki can easily work into fantasies about Izuku. Yes, Izuku, you can’t handle my cock. I’ll make you handle it.

“I haven’t even begun masturbating yet, and I bet a couple of you have already finished,” Pro D quips, which is another line to add to Katsuki’s spank bank.

As much as he’s a sadist, he also enjoys when Izuku degrades him. Anytime Izuku confronted Katsuki about his behavior, or when they fought (physically and verbally), or he made some sarcastic comment about him that had the whole group laughing, Katsuki couldn’t hide the disdain on his face. Not disdain toward Izuku, no—disdain toward the fact that he’d have to stomp off to the bathroom to jerk off since even a small comeback had him stretching his trousers.

“Deku…” His voice rumbles in his throat as he reaches out to touch the screen, his fingers pressing against Pro D’s slicked-up, stretched asshole flaunted on the computer. He holds back from masturbating; he just grips his cock tightly and lets out small puffs of air to attempt to regulate his breathing.

“I think that’s enough,” Pro D says as he draws his fingers out. He then walks over to the machine and bends over in front of it, slowly easing himself backward until the tip of the cock is pressed against his hole. He has two cameras set up this time: one in front view of Pro D, and the other from the ceiling to get the full view of the cock destroying his pert little ass.

He glances at the camera and twirls a finger around one of his floppy ears, and that small action allows Katsuki to superimpose an image of Izuku’s face onto Pro D’s in his mind. Pro D manages to be so cute even while being a whore, something Katsuki can imagine Izuku doing if he had become an adult streamer instead of a teacher. He’s always wondered how Izuku is in bed. Pro D offers an alternative insight.

“Let’s get started, hm?”

The words awaken Katsuki from his whore Izuku daydream to Pro D slowly easing himself onto the dildo, letting out sweet sounds of struggle as the red thing lodges itself in his ass. His rim is red and stretched around its girth, and Katsuki can see his thighs trembling from effort. God, he wants to jerk off so badly, but Pro D hasn’t even begun. He wonders if this is all a ploy to make people realize they’re so desperate for Pro D that they can come untouched just by looking at him.

“O…kay…ngh,” Pro D mumbles, his gloved hand cradling his stomach. “It’s all in. T-time to start the machine…”

He grabs a remote and inhales sharply before pressing the power button. He then grips his cock and strokes himself in the few seconds it takes for the machine to connect with the stream. However, when it does, Pro D has to grasp the table holding the remote and all of his usual sex toys for balance as the dildo thrusts into him unforgivingly, violently.

“A-AH! Guys, y-you’re…hah—! So fast…” As much as the machine catches him off guard, Pro D doesn’t stop his stroking. His knees buckle several times and the only thing that keeps him from collapsing is the table next to him. “You’re so deep…it’s like you’re in my guts—ugh!”

Katsuki tries to keep time with Pro D’s stroking pace, but the dirty talk is causing his hand to lose time. Pro D manages to speak in the same cadence and whining tone that Izuku does despite the voice changer, making it all that much easier to imagine Izuku saying such lewd things.

Wet sounds from the precome slicking Katsuki’s dick only add to the lust accumulating in his small office. His hot breaths fog up the monitor, his eyelids heavy as he stares at Pro D’s sweet cock, how he pumps it with efficiency and care.

“F…fuck,” Katsuki breathes, his hips shifting as a feeble attempt to distract from the pleasure building in his stomach.

He’s already close, but how could he not be? Watching Pro D getting savagely fucked by a machine controlled by him, gripping the table and crying out—in pain, pleasure, whatever—as his head hangs limply between his shoulders is enough to get him to come on the spot. Pro D is enjoying it—whether it’s the actual fucking or the attention, Katsuki doesn’t care—as evidenced by his rock-hard cock that’s leaking precome onto the floor beneath him.

“Oh my! dynamight_murder69…t-thank you for the—unicorn! Ngh!”

Katsuki had managed enough motor skills to press the highest-value gift of all, making a unicorn flash up on everybody’s screens, including Pro D’s, and shake a bit before disappearing. It costs 75,000 yen, but with all the blood from his brain drained to his dick and his delusions of Izuku onscreen instead of Pro D, 75,000 yen seemed like a good price for the absolute perfection of a show he’s receiving. So he clicked and returned to timing his strokes with Pro D’s. He’ll weep over his poor financial decisions during his post-orgasm clarity.

“You guys really…nn…want to f-fuck me, huh?” asks Pro D, and Katsuki nods.

“Yes, yes…fuck, yeah,” responds Katsuki.

He’s so close. But it seems like Pro D gets closer the more presents are sent his way. His knees buckle for a moment upon receiving Katsuki’s unicorn, and his hand seems to speed up every time a present flashes across his screen.

“Dynamight_murder! Another…hah…unicorn? That’s…t-that’s 150,000 yen!” Pro D cries, his strokes growing wilder with each subsequent gift thrown his way. “T-thank you…fuck!…s-so much…mm—!”

It seemed impossible for the machine to speed up even more, but that adorable display clearly made everybody’s hearts soften and cock harden even more. Katsuki’s included in that, his cock throbbing in his grip as he abandons all of Pro D’s rules and jerks off to his own rhythm. As long as he doesn’t finish before Pro D, he counts himself as a winner. Besides, at this point, he’s jerking off much more rapidly compared to Pro D, who has to stop and recuperate from the sudden change in the machine’s speed.

“Guys…I’m g-getting close,” gasps Pro D, whose hand has since returned to his cock and is pumping steadily away. His hips swirl backward onto the dildo, meeting it with each thrust and leaving his hole stretched around it that much more used and abused. He trails a hand behind him to pull his asscheek away to reveal more of it for the camera, and Katsuki groans. The fact that Pro D knows what exactly to show the cameras and when makes him that much more of a professional in Katsuki’s eyes, a professional he wishes Izuku was.

“How many of you f-finished before…m-me? If you did, send me a…heart,” Pro D says, and hearts flood the stream and make the machine whine with how fast it’s going to keep up with the sudden influx of attention. “Wow! You guys finish early, huh…mm—! Am I just that s-sexy?”

Comments bombard the corner of the screen, but Katsuki forgets there even are comments with how seldom his eyes leave Pro D and his body.

“Fucking sexy…you’re so fucking sexy, Izuku,” Katsuki murmurs, his stroking pace now borderline punishing. If he finishes with Pro D, will that still count?

“I think I’m…I’m c-coming—! Coming, ngh—!”

Without much more warning, semen shoots out of Pro D’s cock and paints the floor white. His hips stutter, his hand gripping his red cock and pressing down on the head to squeeze out as much as possible. However, Pro D didn’t seem to account for the fact that a come shot would make the audience go wild, and he cries out when the machine continues to fuck him deep and fast.

“W-wait, wait! Guys, I can’t—”

He can’t get out another word before he slips off the dildo and collapses to the floor in his own come, his body wracked with pleasure and quivering from oversensitivity. He moans into the hardwood, curling into a ball, his position only broken by aggressive spasms as another wave of painful pleasure crashes over him.

The display is more than enough to have Katsuki doubled over himself, stroking his cock until the pleasure building in his groin shoots out and covers his desk in semen. He had been so lost in bliss that he had forgotten all sense of neatness. In the midst of his euphoria, however, he finds the sight of the evidence of his pleasure splattered all over his monitor and desk enough to shoot another load of semen out. Pro D switches the camera to a close-up of his masked face, the semen on the screen making it seem as if it’s coating his mask, and the image is enough to have Katsuki gripping the edge of the desk and groaning.

“A-ah…ugh, fuck,” he whispers to himself, squeezing his eyes closed to properly process his pleasure.

His orgasm seems a hundred times more powerful than anything he’s ever experienced, and it was just by his hand. He hadn’t added anything else, except for Pro D’s wonderful performance. The effect of Pro D on him is exceptional, and it’s only made more potent when Katsuki pictures Izuku’s face over his. It’s what sent him over the edge: imagining Izuku convulsing on the floor from overwhelming pleasure, a pleasure only Katsuki can provide him.

In the time Katsuki takes to recover from his mind-altering orgasm, Pro D has managed to pull himself off the ground and in front of the camera, tilting his head in that endearing manner that has Katsuki growing hard again.

“Thanks for an amazing stream tonight, guys,” he says with a small wave. He motions to the semen on the floor and chuckles. “As you see, it was really fun for me. I hope it was fun for you, too.”

He turns off the machine and pats it genially. “You guys destroyed me with this tonight. So, who managed to hold off until after I came?”

Katsuki scrambles to the comments, but he realizes his comment will be a blip in an avalanche of comments. There’s only one thing he can think of to do.

“Dynamight_murder! Another unicorn? You must be a really rich guy.” Pro D giggles and rests a finger where his mouth would be underneath the mask.

All Katsuki can think of is Izuku biting his finger sensually, his eyelids heavy and his pupils dilated with lust.

“Alright, dynamight_murder. You’ll be the first to choose what I do during the next stream. I’ll have all my sex toys, objects, and outfits laid out for you for you to pick. I’m looking forward to it.”

He then blows a kiss with his glove sticky with semen and makes a peace sign before signing off.

Katsuki sits back against his chair, absolutely stunned. He looks at his hand webbed with semen in awe of the amount of fluids his body can produce when yearning for somebody else completely unattainable.

Izuku has never shown any interest in him and has Ochaco flitting around him like a buzzing bee. Even Katsuki can admit that Ochaco is cute, and Izuku would be an idiot to not get with her. But it’s been five years since they graduated and entered their respective careers, and Izuku has shown no romantic interest in anybody. Katsuki finds himself jealous of his students sometimes since they take precedence over their rare meet-ups.

“Sorry, Kacchan, a student just asked to meet over Zoom to answer some homework questions,” he’d say as he popped in his earphones. He’d smile apologetically, his eyebrows down turning in desired sympathy. “Give me like, twenty minutes.”

Katsuki wanted to strangle the student every time. Now, he’s accepted that Izuku will never be his, that he’ll always belong to somebody else, whether romantically or otherwise. There had been a few times when he thought Izuku wanted him. They’d had a few drunk nights where they’d gotten touchy, grabbing onto each other as they laughed at some long-forgotten joke and were more laughing at the situation they had gotten themselves than anything else. But then Izuku would pass out, and Katsuki would want to kiss him so bad that he’d have to bite his bottom lip until it bled.

Katsuki searched for an outlet that would allow him to get his sexual frustrations out. It would never make up for Izuku, but once he found Pro D, he realized it was a pretty damn good replacement.

So, Katsuki sits in his chair, staring blearily at the ‘this stream has ended’ announcement flashed across the screen. He blinks once, twice, before closing out of the browser and shutting down his monitor. He cleans up the desk and his hands, planning on fully disinfecting everything tomorrow. He pulls up his pants and goes to bed, already thinking of what he wants Pro D to do next week.

“Hey, Kacchan!”

Katsuki turns and sees Izuku jogging toward him with a wide smile across his lips. What he won't give to see that grin every day when coming home instead of arriving at an empty, cold apartment. He hopes Izuku never stops calling him that nickname he thought was oh so stupid all those tortuous years ago.

“Hey, nerd,” he replies with a soft smile, bringing Izuku in for a gentle noogie.

“Kacchan! I just did my hair,” whines Izuku, escaping from Katsuki’s hold and quickly fixing his hair. “You want me to show up all messed up to my own party?”

Katsuki peers over his shoulder at the izakaya behind them, surrounded by paparazzi trying to get shots of all the famous Pro Heroes attending the former One for All’s birthday party.

“It wouldn’t hurt for Mr. Perfect to be humbled in the pap mags,” Katsuki says while rolling his eyes.

Izuku crosses his arms and shakes his head. “You never change, do you, Kacchan?” He smiles again as his eyes fall on Katsuki's arm, which is hidden behind him. “What did you get me? Toilet paper, maybe?”

“No,” Katsuki shoots back defensively. He exhales to calm himself before revealing a trophy, the gold gleaming in the moonlight. “Here. Hope you like it, or whatever.”

Izuku’s eyes widen in surprise, and they only widen more when he takes it into his hands and looks at the message carved into the base. “Number One…Teacher.”

The statue is a man in a suit and glasses, balancing a stack of books on his head. It’s real gold, and Izuku can tell by looking at it. The inscription is also in gold, serif lettering, and the base is real cedar wood. It’s a paragon of craftsmanship, and it must’ve cost Katsuki a pretty penny to have this handmade.

“It’s corny, but I thought you’d like it,” Katsuki says as he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “You know, with you being in love with your students and all.”

But Izuku ignores the riposte and instead goes straight for a hug, flinging his arms around his friend’s neck and pulling him in close. He smiles when Katsuki overcomes his shock and gently wraps his arms around Izuku’s waist, his hands barely touching his body. It’s funny that, when it comes down to it, for somebody so aggressive and disagreeable, Katsuki is so incredibly shy that he can’t even touch his friend while hugging him.

“Thank you, Katsuki,” Izuku whispers into his ear.

Katsuki can’t hide the shudder that wracks his spine, and he wonders if Izuku can feel it. He also can’t hide the quivering breath that escapes his lips upon hearing his name in Izuku’s beautiful voice, so hot and close in his ear.

“Get off me,” is all he can offer, but his bark has no bite, and Izuku knows that. He only hugs Katsuki tighter before finally letting go and turning toward the izakaya.

“Come on, Kacchan,” he says, his grin no longer wide. It’s melted into a tender smile, his eyes glowing emerald in the moonlight. “Let’s go drink so much sake we pass out.”

Katsuki swallows thickly before nodding. He smirks and follows his friend. “Sure, Izuku.”

By the next stream, Katsuki knows exactly what he wants to see from Pro D. He’s taken notes and set them out by the computer. Once the clock strikes ten, Katsuki is on the stream.

He can barely prepare himself for Pro D before the stream starts up and Pro D is already naked in front of the camera, standing in front of the table with all the sex toys, outfits, and miscellaneous sex objects he has in his possession. It seems like he spots Katsuki’s name in the chat because he immediately reanimates and takes a step closer to the camera, giving a small wave.

“Hi, all! Especially you, dynamight_murder.”

Katsuki exhales sharply upon hearing his name, the individual attention out of thousands already leaving him light-headed and painfully hard.

“You’re my special guest this evening. So, what will you do to me tonight, mister?” Pro D walks back over to the table and spreads his arms across the length of it, crossing his legs at the ankle to solidify his cool, calm demeanor. He raises a finger to his chin and tilts his head cutely. “Don’t be too hard on me, ‘kay?”

Fuck, I’m already close, Katsuki laments, and he hasn’t even touched himself yet.

However, he’s halfway through typing his answer when he notices something gleaming in the background.

“Dynamight_murder?”

This time, Katsuki doesn’t even hear his name. Instead, he’s zeroed in on the statue off to the side of the room, on a wardrobe out of focus. It’s blurry, but it’s unmistakably a golden statue, a statue that has never been there before this stream. Before he gave a golden statue to Izuku the week before. When he squints, he can even make out the stack of books on the statue’s head.

“Hey, if you don’t say anything, I’ll have to give this to the next guy.”

That awakens Katsuki from his grave realization, and without thinking too much about it, types out his long-yearned-after fantasy of Izuku.

“Urethral insertion, double penetration with one of my alien dildos, and a nurse costume?” Pro D—Izuku—chuckles and crosses his arms. “Light work. I expected a little more from you, dynamight_murder.”

His eyes light up when another message enters the chat.

“Call me…Katsuki.”

He pauses and swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. His eyes scan the comment section, which breaks him out of his own realization. Katsuki can’t hide the groan that leaves his lips at hearing his name finally uttered, not just by Izuku, but by Izuku naked on camera, with such a lustful tone that it leaves his briefs wet with precome.

katsuki—like katsuki bakugo? how obsessed is this guy with being great explosion murder god dynamight?

what a weirdo…using bakugo’s name to push his own fetish of bkdk happening

“Hey, guys,” Pro D utters, his voice crack audible even under the voice modulator. “This is a safe space to do whatever you want with me. I bet you all want to do worse things than making me call you a name. And I’ll do them for the right price. Dynamight_murder paid it.”

He lifts his head to look directly at the camera, and Katsuki can see it bright as day, even with the mask. Izuku—not Pro D, Izuku—is smiling. He can sense it, hear it in the lilt of his voice. Not even a voice changer can hide the pure excitement in his voice.

“So, Katsuki.”

Katsuki is rapt. He doesn’t move a muscle.

“Don’t look away for a second.”

Katsuki nods, his hands already on his weeping cock.

“Yes, Izuku.”

[thebadgerclan]

The Only Thing He Has Left

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x reader

Summary: You are the only thing he has left...

dragotsennaya devushka--precious girl

A/N: I have a pretty dark idea for a part 2, which I’m gonna write too bc I can’t be stopped 😂

She stood across from him, the War Room table between them.  Where was she, really?  That was what Aleksander wondered every time he saw her through the tether, where was his Summoner?  Alina appeared to him in her kefta from the Winter Fete, but he knew that particular garment was long long lost.  How did he appear to her?  Was he how she last saw him, or did she see his scars?

“I meant what I told you, all those months ago,” Aleksander said.  “I promised that you and I would change the world.”  “That is never going to happen,” Alina countered.  “I’ll destroy the only thing you have left.”  Her words were purposeful, her glare icy, and Aleksander immediately knew what she meant.  His Army was fractured, his nation was now embroiled in a Civil War, there was little that Aleksander still held dear.  Except…

“You wouldn’t dare,” he said, his hands tingling as panic filled him.  “Wouldn’t I?  You have no idea what I will or won't do.”  Aleksander stepped around the table, causing Alina to stumble backwards a bit.  “Mark my words, Miss Starkov, if you even think about harming my wife, I will make you suffer as you have never suffered before.”  Alina, to her credit, did not blanch, did not show the fear she no doubt felt, but drew herself up straighter.

“I’d like to see you try.”  Rage filled him, and Aleksander summoned the Cut, slicing the tether-version of Alina in two.  The map of Ravka on the far wall took the brunt of his anger, ironically directly over the ink symbolizing the Fold, and Aleksander let his anger carry him through the corridors to you.  “Inessa!” he called, summoning the head of his oprichniki.  “Yes, moi soverennyi?”

“Y/N is to be guarded at all times from this point out,” your husband ordered.  “I want at least 7 soldiers on her detail around the clock, our most skilled and deadliest.  No one gets within 20 feet of her without my say so, am I clear?”  Inessa nodded, keeping pace with Aleksander as he strode down the hall.  “Da, moi sovernnyi.  Is there anyone in particular you’d like on her detail?”

“Pasha and Liza, otherwise, use your judgment.”  “Yes, sir.”  Inessa bowed and turned to leave, preparing to make her new assignments.  Aleksander found you at your desk in your shared rooms, and as soon as he stepped through the door, he sent four of his nichevo’ya to stand watch.  “Aleksander, what’s going on?” you asked, rising from your seat.  “What happened?”

“Alina has threatened to…” he choked back tears, and you knew then that whatever had happened was serious.  “She threatened to kill you.”  “W-what?”  You hadn’t seen the Sun Summoner since the Winter Fete, but you’d heard how powerful she’d become, and you knew how deep her hatred for your husband ran.  Alina would do whatever was necessary to take him down, and you knew that if you got in her way, you’d be just another obstacle in her way.

Fear had your legs trembling, and you shakily lowered yourself back to your seat.  Aleksander took your hands and followed you down, kneeling at your side.  “Y/N, look at me, darling.  I will not let her hurt you.  If she even gets near you, she will die.  And it will be a slow, painful death.”  “Sasha?”  “Yes, dragotsennaya devushka?”  “I’m scared.”  Your husband gently tugged on your hands, and you fell into his lap, burying your face in his chest, his arms wrapping snugly around you.

“I know, Y/N,” he said.  “I am too.  But I will always protect you, until I am dust on the wind, I will defend you with my life.”  You said nothing, snuggling closer to your husband, letting the scent of his cologne calm you.  “I love you, Y/N,” Aleksander said, kissing your forehead and stroking your hair.  “My sweet darling, I love you so much.  I’ll always keep you safe.”  “I love you too, Aleksander,” you said.  The Sun Summoner could make whatever threats she liked; if she decided to move, Aleksander would be ready.

[emeraldhaven]

Remember Me - A SongV Fic

"You took me from all my friends. Just make sure you don’t become my enemy.”

So Mi remembers the moment she left Brooklyn like it was yesterday, a memory creeping across her mind like a freshly cut scar. Her time with the FIA may have taken her life, her humanity, but it could never take that moment from her, even if her memories were fading.

She remembers the looks on her friends faces when they laughed; when they cheered; when they cried. She remembers the exact layout of her apartment, the way the rug was threading at one end, lint covering the edges. She remembers how the sun looked over the waters of New York City as it reflected off of the glistening river; golden rays of sunlight cascading down the walls of her home.

She remembers the piercing red of the Blackwall. She remembers the cold darkness after being pulled out of a netrunning attempt, shivering and sweating, mind racing because of what she'd felt and heard and seen. She remembers the concerned looks on her friends' and lovers' faces when she told them about what she'd done; about how she'd done it.

She remembers Reed; how he showed up, offering a job she couldn't refuse. How he looked her in the eye and promised her, eyes darting around her small apartment in false hope.

"I won't. I promise."

"It's eating me, V. My memories, my experiences, my life. And I can't stop it."

Songbird doesn't remember the first time she had a birthday party. She doesn't remember the taste of real food unmarred by the metal in her head. She doesn't remember how real human flesh feels to touch exactly, electrical signals imitating every single second. She can't remember what it felt like to hug her friends, not anymore.

She doesn't remember her family - her parents, her grandparents, her cousins and aunts and uncles. Their faces are blurred mysteries, in fact, she's not even sure some of them even existed in the first place. No family dinners, or day trips to the beach, or hikes across upstate New York exist in her mind, lost to time or the Blackwall.

She wishes desperately that she could.

The FIA might treat Songbird like "family" - a cold, distorted version of one. Twisted by duty, loyalty and an unwavering faith to themselves. Does family stab each other in the back, hurting unlike anyone had ever hurt people before? Does "family" give people the right to treat her like scrap metal, to use and abuse and throw away when they don't care about her anymore?

Reed might think he's her colleague, her mentor, her friend; but she knows that at any moment, he'd throw her to the vicious wolves as soon as she made any wrong move in President Myer's eyes. Those cold, focused eyes. The eyes of someone who would rather kill than be killed.

Songbird's death will be on her hands; and she'll be annoyed to destroy yet another asset.

"Thank you, V. And I'm sorry... for everything."

Song So Mi remembers everything about V. Her eyes, sharp and forest green, a colour rarely seen in America anymore. A verdant twinkle in her eyes whenever she solves some problem, or thinks of a witty quip to call So Mi out with. Her hair, shaved on one side and long and red on the other, her cyberware continuing from those beautiful eyes through to an external neuralware cyberdeck intergration port. Her stance - one of power and confidence yet marred with the subtle yet noticeable lag of a body weary from combat and time and some other, purposefully-unnamed factor. V's jacket - an antique to be sure, but just so very V, the way the jacket speaks to her personality and ideals, the gleaming crystal blue of the collar illuminating her neckline and enticing Song's eyes up towards her jaw...

So Mi blinked, blushed and looked away over her shoulder. She hasn't felt this way in a long, long time; possibly ever. She doesn't believe that she's in any league close to V, that V wouldn't even give her a second thought; that she isn't worth it. Yet, no matter what happens or has happened, V looks her in the eye, hand on her shoulder, her cheek, her own hand and says:

"I trust you."

It's an affirmation, something barely notable in its own right - something standard and normal and supposedly frequent. But it's been a long time since anyone has actually said that to So Mi, even longer since somebody ever meant it. No, this is said with heart and character and trust from a woman so wonderous, so incredible that every situation she's involved in is seen as a spectacle - a woman who has done impossible things in impossible situations and has impossibly survived. Somebody who is worth the world but shall receive indifference from the city that tries to kill her daily. It's an affirmation - that's sure enough - but from V? It feels like a blessing.

And Song So Mi will never, ever forget her.

[justanothersimsblog]

Summary: Ibis’ childhood

Ibis was born to Ulene Deadwyler, vampire with the pink hair, and Katra Queen, witch. He was one of quadruplets, and a total of 7 kids to his parents. Quadruplets names: Bennet, Blaze, and Timothy. Other siblings: twins Etrigan and Ariani, and Ashlyn. All kids but Benny and Timmy were born vampires, and all quads + Ari were born witches.

Ulene and Katra got married after the twins were born, and after that they moved back to his hometown in a custom built house (designed by him) in St Erast. After the quads were born, Katra started working in a videogame company. Ulene learned his mom was expecting a new baby brother, meaning Ibis would have an uncle younger than him. The only incident of note during Ibis’ toddler years was his mom getting kidnapped. Ulene thought initially it was his clan’s crazy way of trying to get him to accept his position as king so he went to Bridgeport to get her back, but it turned out to be his best friends clan, the supposed rival clan, because they were responding to Fabian’s desires. Fabian confessed to his friends that he wasn’t over her and was a big part of the reason he’d so happily accepted his position as king of his clan in Bridgeport.

When Ibis was 5 years old the family took a trip to China. While exploring town a vampire approached Ibis and greeted him as ‘king’ prompting him to ask his dad what that was all about. Ulene came clean and told him a light version of the whole clan shtick. That their family is originally from Bridgeport and the founders of the Notte clan, that his grandma (Ulene’s mom, Lara) ran away because she didn’t want to take over despite having the pink hair. How Ulene himself had gone to Bridgeport and refused the clan too, because their beliefs didn’t align with his. But yes, technically Ibis is next in line and is to become King once he’s of age. Currently there’s an interim leader: Grayson. Ibis found the whole thing exciting and loudly proclaim that he can’t wait to be King.

Throughout his childhood Ibis showed indifference towards school, unlike Benny, but a predisposition to his dad’s old chemistry set. He quickly discovered every possible potion that could be made with it and moved on to other potions. He obviously did regular potions in the cauldron, like his mom taught him, but in an attempt to find a more creative outlet he found the bar. His parents weren’t thrilled that he was playing on the bar, but had to admit he had a knack for making some yummy cocktails. Besides this Ibis, and his siblings and their friends (Pubert and the Gale triplets, Kiki, Gen, and Ai) were all rather well behaved during their childhood…except for the occasional pranks.

Finally when Ibis was 8 it was time for the family to go to Egypt, and for Ulene to take Ibis to meet the Sphinx. While he took all vampire kids to the Hatshepsut Temple to teach them more about their powers, and to relate the legend of Hatshepsut, like his mother had told him, he took only Ibis to the Sphinx. Just like Lara had done when Ulene was his age, Ulene took Ibis through the tomb while telling him more about their specific Pink hair powers. Besides inheriting the Bridgeport clan (and being King, like Ibis cheerfully pointed out), the Pink hair is said to be a blessing meaning that The Great One chose them and is watching over them, and that they’ll eventually must reproduce and have an heir, another vampire with pink hair. They’re supposed to come to the Sphinx to get blessed every so many years, or at least that’s what Lara said. However this visit went wrong, when they arrived to the room with the statue and talked to the Sphinx, she got angry at something Ibis said and banished him, much to Ulene’s horror. Instead of bringing him back right away she sent him (and Katra) on a quest to retrieve Horus’ Eye to be able to ‘see’ him again. They did and brought him back, but Ibis is now permanently scarred by the event and often when he goes to sleep instead has nightmares in which he’s back in the black abyss place the Sphinx sent him to.

A year after, on Halloween, Ibis got kidnapped by some crazy gray fairy that wanted to take his special Pink hair power for herself. She managed to capture him, and his siblings, and had sent zombies as distractors for his parents. Thankfully his parents found them in time and were able to save their kids. It was the only time Ulene seriously considered killing someone but he didn’t have to, Katra did, and he was surprised to be ok with it. Ibis learned just how desirable his Pink hair power is, and Katra was able to make a best selling videogame out of the night, propelling her career.

For the most part Ibis ignored his nightmares, he didn’t really share with anyone what was going on. Whenever he couldn’t sleep he’d bunk with one of his siblings, most often Blaze who knew he was having nightmares but no details beyond that. He told his parents that he’d sometimes had a nightmare where he was back, and described the place, which Katra only concluded was some other inter plane/dimension/world, but didn’t know much more beyond that. His parents didn’t know how often he really was having nightmares. What they did find out was that Ibis was already capable of reading minds at 10 years old, younger than all his siblings, and most vampires.

[deadpool1763492]

Happy 20th birthday to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2003!

I remember around 15 years ago, when I was at the ripe age of 5-6 years old, someone gave me a TMNT DVD for my birthday. I wasn't exactly into action shows like that at the time and pretty much hated it, but my mom told me to give it a chance and put it on for my anyway. It was this show that made me realize just how much I love superheroes.

TMNT 2003 is something special. It's the most loyal show to the original Mirage comics, for one, with literal episodes taken directly from the pages themselves. Even the first lines of the show are from the first issue! Who can ever forget Leonardo's iconic line: "He's wrong. We're not wearing costumes." I still get shivers hearing the delivery of those sentences to this day.

And let's not forget that it was this iteration that basically confirmed the TMNT multiverse in dare I say the greatest turtle movie ever released yet: Turtles Forever. Because of that movie, we know that every past iteration and future iteration is connected to one another, and, whenever one version of the story ends, we have the hope in our hearts that it might not actually be the last we'll see of those specific turtles, whether it be in future references, actual crossovers, or something else entirely.

And, of course, we can't forget that this was the first cartoon version of the turtles that apparently swore, albeit it only in some of the few comic issues of the show ever released.

Who doesn't love that? If you're a fan of 2003, by the way, you should definitely check out the comics they released of it. If not all of them, just check out issue #5. It's become one of my favorite comic books ever (of all time) just because of how absolutely raw it is. The comics really did not hold back at all.

Which, by the way, is true for the show, too! Who could ever forget iconic episodes like Same As It Never Was, which ended up literally scarring us as kids by showing a fascist, apocalyptic future that was supposedly indirectly Donatello's doing, where we had to watch three of our turtle boys literally die? I can never forget, at least. That episode gave me nightmares for a bit when I was a kid. Did I still end up watching it? Of course! I needed to see how the Shredder ended up getting defeated!

I could go on and on about this series (and I have, if you're someone I know in real life and are a victim of my ramblings of it), but I'll cut this short here for all of your sakes. I'll just end it with this: thank you, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird— and 4Kids Entertainment—for giving us a show that would stick with me for so long. I don't know where I'd be without the teenage mutant ninja turtles. It's literally the show that became my gateway to Marvel! So, instead of arguing about which version is better than which, let's take today to celebrate these idiot turtle boys for what they are: an amazing, creative story that brings us all together with one universal truth: Things Change, but that may not always be a bad thing.

Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful day!

[kaddyssammlung]

Dark Signs – Analysis

Video:

Same thing as text:

TW : SH

“Where I was raised, there was no streetlights”

You can either see this in a literal way or not. Either the village was so small or the house was just standing there with no other housed around it and there really were no street-lights or well...he grew up in metaphorical darkness.

I can relate to the latter one so this is how I have this connected.

“just pitch black and passing headlights”

This just underlines the first sentence. To me it really feels like there maybe was not much joy growing up and there were just a few instances where things seemed nicer.

“and where we met, there must have dark signs”

I'm someone who strongly believes in signs. I just use the word synchronicity for it. I take things like video suggestions on YouTube for example quite seriously. I often have strange questions that I seem to have no answer for and then something shows up, like a video, and I watch it and then I get pushed into a new direction.

Thanks to such synchronicities I found great online resources about childhood trauma for example. Stuff that did not cost much money or was free but that helped me a lot in my healing process.

“omens in your skies”

I like this because it brings another perspective to the table. Not just dark signs for him but for this other human or this other being (=Sleep), too.

Vessel does a lot of “perspective switches” likes these.

To me this has something to do with the so-called hermetic principles. “As above so below, as within so without”. This means that everything that we see in the outside world is just a reflection of our inside world or what going on in our body and in our mind.

“most days you reach for safety”

This makes me think about the “cracking bones” from Levitate and also kind of devastated. Who was in danger and why? Or is Vessel a safe space for someone? Did Sleep reach out for safety?

“remain calm, forget that you know me”

Seems like he really was sick and tired of someone reaching out to him.

This line makes think about my ex. He said this all the time but my BPD self always responded stuff like “don't say that! I love you sooooo much!”. This line brings back weird memories.

“and when we met I could see dark signs alarm bells in your eyes”

Now it gets interesting.

Whoever it was was also aware of them not being a good match of some sort?

“and I miss the man I was the moment we left off”

This reminds me of “how much did they break you?” from the way that you were. Seems like there was a version of him where he was more happy?

Now we reach one of those mis-heard-lyrics-situations.

“I won't break and bend to my basic need to be loved and close to somebody”

or

“I might break and bend to my basic need to be loved and close to somebody”

This is a problematic one because it changes the meaning.

When I think about the rest of the discography both versions make sense. I feel like maybe he did break and bend until he was so fractioned and bled out that there was nothing left to give and he put an end to it?

From my experience: I stayed in an abusive relationship much too long. So I can understand if something like this happened. I was not really aware of what was going on but I was also terrified of being alone.

“and I hate who I have become every time I wake up”

This one needs no explanation. But he does say every time I wake up which makes me think again about “meeting Sleep”.

“and if you saw the marks on my dashboard the new scars that I didn't ask for”

This is a weird one and also a highly debated one. I am aware of that.

I already talked about my car accidents and what I learned from them. Maybe he does mean a car accident because dashboard makes you think about cars but maybe he does mean his arms and did not want to say arms twice because he mentions them later.

“would you call asking for answers?”

I feel like that is a sad one. So, if someone saw the marks on his dashboard would they then call him? Does he have to take extreme measures to make someone call him?

My ex-girlfriend used to text me stuff like “if you don't call within the next then minutes I'm going to hurt myself”. It makes me think about stuff like that. Pressuring someone to do something they are not willing to.

I'm not an angel btw. I have done similar things.

“tear my arms off”

Well...do I have to say something about this?! Not really right. You know what I wrote his scars or maybe not. I see them and I have them, too but so do many of you. It's sad but the truth.

[realm-sweet-realm]

The Infiltrator, chapter 8: Ghetsis

N returned to the Team Rainbow Rocket hideout early that evening and met up with Iris. Once he taught his leafeon and ninjask sleep powder, it was time to descend into Ghetsis’ basement wing. N’s ninjask made quick and quiet work of the padlock with its claws, and the darkness of the basement reminded N of the dungeon in which his own Ghetsis resided.

A door creaked opened as N descended the stairs and Ghetsis emerged from it. His face momentarily contorted in shock before N’s leafeon bounded in and released its sleep powder. Ghetsis’ eyes rolled back and he fell backwards, sound asleep.

N took out the espeon and knelt beside Ghetsis. This version of him looked a decade older than his own, his hair as gray as it was green. The espeon hopped into N’s lap and touched Ghetsis with its paw.

“Father… I’m going to find good in you. I will.”

With that, N touched Ghetsis’ forehead and woke up in the orb pool.

“Show me why he joined Team Rainbow Rocket,” N said. It’s what would help him to convince the other four villains, so it seemed like a good place to start.

An orb rose and touched N’s forehead.

---

Ghetsis lay in the warm, lavender-scented bath in his palace, eyes closed. To distract himself from the pain in his right side, he imagined battles of old. Rides into the territory of foreign armies atop white Kyurem as it reduced the bodies of his enemies to ash. Tactical retreats into caves from which he could threaten to freeze nations. The respect and adoration of his men not just as a king, but as a warlord. With his injuries, he would never be renowned for his strength in battle, but he’d been known as a fearless leader and great strategist, and every one of his enemies feared his cruelty and ruthlessness.

If only he hadn’t had to grow old in a body with so many scars. At only fifty-eight years old, his weakened right side had become almost fully useless. He needed daily painkillers and hot baths just to function and a wheelchair for trips longer than a hundred yards. Needless to say, his days of mounting Kyurem, let alone leaving the comfort of his palace for weeks on end for the battlefield, had long since passed.

With difficulty, Ghetsis heaved himself out of the bathwater with his left arm, dried off, dressed himself, and took on the arduous walk back to his room. Even with his cane, his right side felt like stiff, sore, uncooperative dead weight.

Ghetsis opened the door to his room to find Rocket Boss Giovanni of all people waiting for him. Ghetsis grit his teeth and pulled his hydreigon’s pokéball out of his robes, letting his cane hit the floor as he braced himself for a fight for his life. It took his mind a moment to register that while Giovanni was his enemy, he’d also been killed over half a decade ago.

“What is this?” Ghetsis growled. “Was it your decoy we killed?”

Giovanni put his hands up to show they were empty. “I’m not here to, um- whatever you think I’m going to do,” Giovanni promised. “I’m a version of Giovanni from another universe, and I’m here to offer you something. That’s it, that’s all.”

“Oh? Well, what is it?”

“I’ve seen many iterations of you, Ghetsis. Iterations of you without your injuries that struck fear into enemy soldiers not just with your command and strategy but with a sword in hand. But none of them have made an empire last as long as you have. And since I’m planning to take over the world and then the multiverse, you’d be very useful to me as a military strategist. We’ll be taking control of the rulers of life, space, and time, so we could cure your injuries and make you immortal. So, how about it? Want to be young and strong forever and spend centuries commanding armies of legendary Pokémon? Want to be a God amongst men and strike fear into their hearts?”

Ghetsis smiled madly. “Why, yes. Yes, I would.”

Giovanni outstretched his hand, and Ghetsis shook it.

---

N woke up and immediately touched the espeon again, waking up in the orb pool. Ghetsis had joined Team Rainbow Rocket for selfish reasons, and not for reasons N could easily use to turn him away from it. But N wasn’t ready to give up on him yet.

“Show me what kind of leader he is,” N said, and an orb floated up and touched his forehead.

The memory took place in what appeared to be a throne room in a golden palace. Ghetsis, his right side feeling a good deal less stiff and painful than in the last memory, was chatting with Zinzolin.

“Hm, yes, let’s march on Galar a week from now. They’ll be a thorn in our side invading the nearby nations otherwise. But I suspect that once they see the power of the three dragons, they’ll surrender quickly. After all, freezing them over this time of year would mean massive crop failures, and with the embargo in the east, they can hardly afford that.”

Zinzolin seemed to agree with this, but before he could reply, two male Team Plasma grunts entered the throne room, dragging in a woman with tears streaming down her face.

“Well, well, well,” what do we have here?” Ghetsis asked.

“We caught her keeping a buneary in secret,” one of the grunts explained.

“It wasn’t mine, I-I swear it was just a pest that got in by mistake,” the woman stuttered, voice teary, “I have three kids, don’t do this!”

“She’s lying,” the grunt said. “It’s attached to an apricorn pokéball we found in her possession.”

Ghetsis leaned back in his throne. “Very well. You know the drill: to the dungeons with her, then a televised beheading first thing tomorrow morning with the standard speech about how ownership is abuse and anathema. We can’t be letting citizens think we’re getting soft, or they’ll start hoarding Pokémon for an insurrection.”

The woman sobbed. “I’ll let it go, please just let me live!” she begged.

“Will you be doing the execution yourself?” the grunt asked, ignoring her.

“Hmm… no. I woke up early to do executions this morning. I think I’ll sleep in tomorrow and leave this one to someone else. Perhaps we should start scheduling these a bit later so I can enjoy them while fully awake.”

---

N woke up and touched the espeon again. This time he wasn’t sure where to look for goodness in Ghetsis.

If not goodness, maybe I could find vulnerability? Some kind of soft spot that would help me to reason with him?

“Show me how he got his scars,” N requested.

An orb touched N’s forehead.

Ghetsis smiled as he looked upon his scarred hydreigon. Such a powerful and angry creature, and it was terrified of him. The brood of newly hatched deino at her feet huddled under her, whining as they sensed their mother’s anxiety. Ghetsis approached the mother and took out a dex to measure natures of each of the babies. It gave out a timid-sounding warning roar, which he ignored.

“Ah, useless, he’ll stay… useless… useful, but not as good as you… useless… ah.” Ghetsis took a squealing whelp by the scruff in his left hand. “A perfect nature. I’ll be taking this!”

The hydreigon roared in anger and terror, and Ghetsis grinned at her and raised the whip he held in his right hand. She recoiled in fear.

And then she used hyper beam, knocking Ghetsis unconscious.

When he woke up, it was to a doctor telling him that his right side had been burned critically. While he’d regain some function in his right side once the initial injuries healed, he would then lose its functioning gradually over the years, and he’d lost his right eye for good.

---

N woke up and touched the espeon again.

“Maybe his vulnerability is that he cares for me more than he lets on. Show me how he felt about me.”

Three orbs lifted, and suddenly N felt reluctant to see what was in them.

“If… any of those memories are especially hard, could you give me a break before you show me?” N asked.

The pool didn’t speak. The first two orbs made their path to N’s forehead.

Ghetsis lay on his stomach in the bushes, the rifle in his hand aimed for the pile of sitrus berries he’d left out. A zoroark loped in, a row of zorua puppies following, and the family started eating. Ghetsis’ heart pounded. This would be the rarest Pokémon he’d ever hunted. But as Ghetsis adjusted his aim, he noticed something- a tiny human hand clinging to the zoroark’s chest fluff. The zoroark picked up a sitrus berry, and, as it turned, revealed the small child it was handing it to.

Ghetsis was stunned. The child- a dirty wretch with green hair and touquoise eyes, made eye contact with him. The boy barked- barked like a zoroark- and the Pokémon scattered.

So he’d lived. The boy Ghetsis had abandoned was surviving amongst Pokémon. They were his family. He could communicate with them. He had no knowledge of human civilization. Ghetsis needed a hero to harness Reshiram’s power, so why not someone he could mold from nothing? Who already had every reason to care for Pokémon? Who he could treat however he wanted because he had no sense of what normal was?

Ghetsis followed the tracks until he came upon a small cave. Within it was the zoroark, watching her pups as they ran about with the boy, but also a woobat and a darmanitan- species not normally seen together. This was better than he thought. His mere presence brought Pokémon together.

Ghetsis tossed a pokéball, and his cofagrigus popped out, getting the attention of the three adult pokemon as they turned to him, ready to protect their young.

“I want the boy,” Ghetsis said. “I want to give him a good life. A human life.” Ghetsis spread his arms out to appear friendly.

The zoroark nodded to its makeshift pack, and the Pokémon piled out of the cave along with the boy and began following him home. The boy looked up at Ghetsis, confused. Had he even seen a human before?  Ghetsis offered him his hand, and, while he turned to the zoroark instead, the zoroark nudged him to take it.

The scene changed. Ghetsis was sitting in N’s room, watching as N, looking to be roughly fourteen years old and wearing white robes, prepared for his crowning ceremony.

He’s perfect. More perfect than I ever could have imagined. Kind like his mother, and eloquent like me. And beautiful, and graceful. And smart, and honourable. He knows everything he needs to and nothing else. In my attempt to keep my relations with his mother secret, I inadvertently created the right conditions for a perfect hero and figurehead to be made. And that such a creature could come from my blood and my training... he is perhaps my greatest creation.

Ghetsis approached N as he brushed his hair in front of the mirror. “You’re ready. Let’s go. It wouldn’t be very becoming to be late to your crowing ceremony.”

N pulled at his hair nervously. “Dad, I’m scared. What if I’m not a good king?”

“That’s what I’m here for, boy. To advise you.”

“You’re right. Will I be allowed to see the world soon?”

“Soon. When you’re eighteen. I’ve spent the last ten years building you into a perfect person, N. I don’t want the world to spoil that before your foundations are firm. It takes both purity and knowledge to rule. That is why we need each other.”

N looked up at Ghetsis with loving eyes. “Okay. Thank you, Dad.”

“Of course. Now, stop playing with your hair. We don’t want it to get all messed up, do we?”

N nodded, and the two went their separate ways to play their part in the ceremony.

---

N woke up in the orb pool, an orb inches from his forehead.

“So… the next one’s going to be tough, huh?”

The orb reflected an image of the giant chasm, and Kyurem.

“That was the day he almost killed me.”

According to Cyrus, Ghetsis had killed the N of his universe and enjoyed it. But… maybe Ghetsis was just saying that to cope with the guilt. He seemed to have a lot of warm feelings towards N. Twisted, but warm.

N took a deep breath and pressed the orb to his forehead.

Ghetsis stood in giant chasm, Kyurem by his side. He was favouring his left side, but he was in no pain at all.

“Increase your power, Kyurem, and cover all of Unova in ice,” Ghetsis commanded.

Kyurem obeyed, sending out a torrent of icy wind.

It was blocked by a blast of fire so great that it could have only come from a legendary. A massive blur of majestic white flew in, and upon it was N. The mighty beast landed and N jumped from its back, facing Ghetsis like an adversary.

“So you came. The freak without a human heart, N.”

“Reshiram told me that Kyurem was suffering. I can’t allow selfish humans to make Pokémon suffer. And I like Unova. It’s the place that taught me to live as a human. And it’s the place where I noticed the harmony of people and Pokémon living together.”

Such beauty and bravery in this creature… it almost made Ghetsis proud. Would that he could have used him. But alas, he was nothing but a beast that bit the hand who fed him. “Excellent. That was a moving expression of your determination. So the education I gave you to make you king wasn’t a complete waste. But I still haven’t forgotten how you’ve interfered with my plan.” Ghetsis took an item from his pocket. “You need to be taught another lesson… with these DNA splicers!”

Ghetsis threw the arrowhead-shaped object towards Reshiram. Reshiram flew through the icy cave, weaving between rocky columns and taking sharp turns to avoid the object. But it was no use. The DNA splicer hit Reshiram. With a horrible cry, it was absorbed. The object returned to Kyurem, who seemed to absorb reshiram’s essence, gaining its white fur and stronger limbs.

N gasped. “I never would have believed that fusions between Pokémon were possible... that there’s some sort of formula...”

“Listen, N,” Ghetsis said, “If you’d just become king, Unova would have remained beautiful! Kyurem, freeze the freak solid!”

Kyurem prepared a fire-based attack, its tail glowing orange like an overheated motor and tendrils of fire lifting from its back. But N didn’t move. The freak was locking eyes with the Pokémon aiming to kill him!

“Reshiram... I know you’re still in there. Your voice...there’s still time for you to be separated.”

To Ghetsis’ horror, Kyurem writhed as though it was fighting itself, and its fire extinguished.

Ghetsis grit his teeth in frustration. “Ugh! You’re nothing more than a tool! People, pokemon, you, you’re all just tools for my domination!”

N’s solemn and serene eyes turned to Ghetsis. “As hard as it is for me to call you this... father... Pokemon and human beings together take each other to greater heights… They’re our partners.”

“Shut your mouth! Don’t talk like a person, you freak! No real person can talk to a Pokémon!”

Ghetsis gestured with his cane, and White Kyurem summoned a ball of red, hot energy and shot it towards N. It hit N and blew his body back easily a dozen feet before he fell limp to the ground. Skin charred and clothes burned, N made a shaky attempt to push himself up from the ground.

“Again!” Ghetsis shouted.

Another ball of energy hit N. This time, it left him motionless.

Sadistic joy rose in Ghetsis’ chest. He chuckled as he approached the body of the young creature. Not a human. Not a Pokémon, either. He was nothing and belonged nowhere, and yet he bit the only hand that would ever have been willing to feed him. This was a fate well-deserved.

N woke up in the orb pool, trembling as he tried to keep himself together. He should have known that was how Ghetsis felt about him.

“Is there anything you can show me that can help?” he asked the orb pool. “Help me to understand how I can make him join us, or to reason with the Ghetsis I have at home.”

N looked down at the memory orbs, waiting for a useful one to rise up. None did.

“I think I’m done here,” N said.

N woke up. He brushed tears from his eyes as he looked down at the unconscious body of his old caretaker, but more came. He couldn’t stop crying. The espeon cuddled into him, and his leafeon joined it in his arms, trying to comfort its trainer. N squeezed the two creatures tight. Even his ninjask came in to hug him. After N had gathered himself, he turned to the three Pokémon.

“We can’t take him with us. He has no reason to want to leave or to want to listen to me. What should we do with him? Just leave him here?”

The three Pokémon nodded.

“Sounds good.”

With that, N returned the three Pokémon and left. He had a villainous scheme to diffuse.

[fantasyinvader]

And, before anyone says anything, my problems with the TLoU2's story are based around 3 key areas:

1) The retcons of the original game in order to facilitate TLoU2. I get that Neil saw things differently, but that wasn't the story told by the first game. Neil is altering not just his own work, but the work and contributions of other members of the original team to justify his view of the story. He wants to make himself out to be the sole mind behind the story, and I feel this is disrespectful especially since Ellie and Joel's stories were supposed to be done after the first game. They even did a live event to say goodbye to them!

2) I feel that when Neil Druckmann talks about how tribalism is bad, how there's two sides to every story and all that cycle of revenge stuff then talks about how Abby's ending is meant to say that there's hope for her, I feel like he's just undermined his own point. Abby, in my eyes, exemplifies the things the game is speaking out again.

a) She turns on her old allies, the fascist WLF, not out of moral opposition to them attempting to genocide the Scars but because she identified Lev and his sister being like her. She calls Lev, her people, and in the end takes Lev from Seattle to California to try and rejoin the Fireflies, the terrorist organization that raised her.

b) She treats Joel as the bad guy for killing her father, understandable when you take into consideration her age and her being a child soldier. She had to use the power of hatred, reminding herself of what Joel did, to kill him after Joel saved her life, and she pointed a gun at a disarmed Ellie when she learned why Joel killed her father while acting like just because Abby let Ellie live before (after seeing Abby violently murder Joel after torturing him) Ellie should have just let her be. It's a complete lack of self-awareness from, again, an ex-child soldier indoctrinated by her father in believing she's the good guy no matter what she does to win.

c) Abby spares Ellie at Lev's insistence in Seattle, but her survival comes from Ellie coming after her again. If Ellie hadn't followed her to California, Abby would have died tied to a stake after being recaptured by slavers when she tried to escape. Abby was willing to leave the people there to suffer if she and Lev could get out, again tribalism, whereas the slaves were kept right next to where they stored the weapons. Abby could have freed people, but instead it nearly caused her to die and she only lived because Ellie didn't break the cycle.

I've heard the original ending would have featured Ellie killing Abby only for it not to make things better, and if that had been the case I feel it would have worked far better. Game would not have been as hypocritical.

3) I really get pissed at how Lev was used. Lev is trans and escaped from his cult when he wanted to be a warrior rather than an elder's wife. The cult is based on an island, and is compared to the Fireflies a couple of times in the story. Abby takes Lev to join the Fireflies, becoming a child soldier for them at their island base. Lev's story goes full circle, escaping exploitation from one group of fanatics only to be delivered to another for a different type of exploitation, and the game doesn't see anything wrong with this. It's meant to say there's hope… FOR ABBY. Lev's entire story is to benefit Abby's story regardless of the implications, and again I feel this could have been fixed with the original ending.

That's my issues with TLoU2. I can make death of the author readings of the game, I've done that before because I feel there is a good story somewhere in there, but the intended morals snuff it out. The game still plays great and if the rogue-like mode added to the new version was available for my PS4 copy I would still have the thing installed, but the hypocritical story that creates such dissonance between what it shows and what it wants to say, that destroys the experience for me.

[seasaltsurvivor]

[Propo] Finnick, can you tell us what drove you to join the rebellion?

Finnick blinked, the question having taken him aback.

Why had he joined?

At 28, Finnick Odair had experienced horrors beyond comprehension. Had been scarred beyond recognition and molded into a version of himself so far from the man he had imaged as a boy, safe in the loving arms of his parents.

Growing up, Finnick dreamed of becoming a dockworker, just like his father. He saw himself with the same drive, the same passion, and the same undying devotion to a family of his own.

But life had not been kind. The Capitol had not been kind.

All he wanted was to show his son the wonders of the tide pools. To teach him how to skip stones across the water. To walk the beach, hand-in-hand with the love of his life as their child bounded down the shore, splashing in the waves. To feel whole again.

It had all been stolen from him -- washed away like footprints in the sand, little more than a fleeting dream now.

How was he to sit amongst the dunes with his son now, listening to the gulls call to one another as the sun set beyond the horizon while he told Caspian stories about great ocean adventurers when real life was scarier than the most fearsome of sea monsters or deadly of storms from the tales of old? How could be protect his family when he was being played like a puppet? How could he ever feel happy when he knew the cost of his joy was was someone else's suffering?

Finnick cleared his throat as he fought to keep his tone steady. You can do this.

"We deserve better than to live our lives with the crushing fear that everything we are, everything we hold dear, could be ripped away from us in an instant," he began. Finnick's voice sounded pained, but there was an edge of determination. He had spent years forced into silence, and he wasn't going to hold back anymore.

"Our happiness, our livelihood, our families, our lives, our children. Nothing is safe when we exist as nothing more than the Capitol's bargaining chips." He paused for a moment to breathe. "I have spent every waking moment of the past 13 years living as a pawn for President Snow. I've had enough." Another beat passed. "I refuse to let the Capitol take another victim; to let them do to another what they have done to me."

Finnick's tone was sharp now, almost chilling. "If freeing Panem from a blood thirsty tyrant means my death, so be it. I have played these games before, and I am not afraid to play them again. But Snow needs to remember that I was not a victor by chance."

[mandatorypg]

2 damaged souls

They lead two completely separate lives

The beginning of the movie sees 2 people meet each other in High School

It's a brief few months but they share a lot of common interests

They get along

They flow

Nothing could go wrong between them

He loves her

She is unaware of this but he does his best to show it like burning her CD's or holding her hand sometimes

Telling her straight up how he feels is hard because she takes his breath away every time he sees her

Just when he wants to ask her out

She breaks the news that she has to leave

And he feels devastated by this

He becomes depressed but also understands that she is more important than his own happiness

Because he truly loves her and wants what's best for her

So he makes her another CD to take and he continues to live his life

And they go their separate ways

For 10 long ass years

The entire movie explores both of their lives separately across those 10 years

What they go through

Heartbreak

Loss

Trauma

Being betrayed

Crying without a sound

Being undervalued as people

Lost

Alone

And stuck

The woman is brunette

Pale white skin

She is a free spirit who loves music

She also loves coffee

She's also kind of a nerd

And wears glasses

Loves animals

Because she makes up for it with her smile

She is kind hearted

Beautiful

Funny

More intelligent than she'll admit

Over the course of these 10 years

She opens her heart up to a number of people

And because of this, she is left with numerous heart breaks and countless heartaches

Her heart feels

Battered

Bruised

Scarred

Many times

By numerous guys

But in spite of this

She sees the best in them

But this has also caused her to become more guarded of her soul

She wants a break from the heart break

She wants to focus on herself

She wants to leave behind that past

But now she feels as though she's drowning

She wants to swim up to that shore of light but she's been dealing with this overbearing of pain

She feels trapped

Stuck

She isn't happy

She won't tell you that though

Because she's strong willed

I wish she knew what she was capable of though

Because despite all of the hearbreak

She still pulls through

Then there is the guy

It's similar to hers in that he too gets his heart shattered

And battered

He feels alone

And he deals with things that I think a lot of us are going to deal with like

Loss

Being betrayed by people he thought were like brothers to him

Being used

He gives up on love all together

He, just like her

Feels stuck

They feel like they are not living the life they need to for their own happiness

I don't want to spoil the ending

But almost 10 years to the day that they first meet each other

They finally see each other

And they don't say a word

They just hug and hold onto each other for a good 10 minutes or more

He wants her to know that he is always going to be there

No matter what happens in this life

That when she is with him

She'll never have to worry about betrayal, or unnecessary disrespect, or feeling like a burden or unwanted

Because he loves her truly

For every single part of her that makes her

Because he loves her

Not parts of her

Not ideas of her

Not the high school version of her

He loves her

And he was rooting for her from a distance this entire fucking time

And all of the shit both of them have ever gone through to get to that moment fades away

It doesn't matter any more

Because he truly wants what's best for her

What makes her happy

So the film opens with 2 lives who briefly meet and then separate

And the body of the film shows their separate lives across those 10 years

Their own shitstorms they live through or barely get through

But then at the end of this film

They find each other again

And it's emotional

Because they just hold onto each other

Because life is fucking hard

And life can take and take and take

But the one thing it can never take

The one thing it will never fucking take

Is his love for her

[worksinprogress1]

N returned to the Team Rainbow Rocket hideout early that evening and met up with Iris. Once he taught his leafeon and ninjask sleep powder, it was time to descend into Ghetsis’ basement wing. N’s ninjask made quick and quiet work of the padlock with its claws, and the darkness of the basement reminded N of the dungeon in which his own Ghetsis resided.

A door creaked opened as N descended the stairs and Ghetsis emerged from it. His face momentarily contorted in shock before N’s leafeon bounded in and released its sleep powder. Ghetsis’ eyes rolled back and he fell backwards, sound asleep.

N took out the espeon and knelt beside Ghetsis. This version of him looked a decade older than his own, his hair as gray as it was green. The espeon hopped into N’s lap and touched Ghetsis with its paw.

“Father… I’m going to find good in you. I will.”

With that, N touched Ghetsis’ forehead and woke up in the orb pool.

“Show me why he joined Team Rainbow Rocket,” N said. It’s what would help him to convince the other four villains, so it seemed like a good place to start.

An orb rose and touched N’s forehead.

---

Ghetsis lay in the warm, lavender-scented bath in his palace, eyes closed. To distract himself from the pain in his right side, he imagined battles of old. Rides into the territory of foreign armies atop white Kyurem as it reduced the bodies of his enemies to ash. Tactical retreats into caves from which he could threaten to freeze nations. The respect and adoration of his men not just as a king, but as a warlord. With his injuries, he would never be renowned for his strength in battle, but he’d been known as a fearless soldier and great strategist, and every one of his enemies feared his cruelty and ruthlessness.

If only he hadn’t had to grow old in a body with so many scars. At only fifty-eight years old, his weakened right side had become fully useless. He needed daily painkillers and hot baths just to function and a wheelchair for trips longer than a hundred yards. Needless to say, his days of mounting Kyurem, let alone leaving the comfort of his palace for weeks on end for the battlefield, had long since passed.

With difficulty, Ghetsis heaved himself out of the bathwater with his left arm, dried off, dressed himself, and took on the arduous walk back to his room. Even with his cane, his right side felt like stiff, sore, uncooperative dead weight.

Ghetsis opened the door to his room to find Rocket Boss Giovanni of all people waiting for him. Ghetsis grit his teeth and pulled out his hydreigon’s pokéball out of his robes, letting his cane hit the floor as he braced himself for a fight for his life. It took his mind a moment to register that while Giovanni was his enemy, he’d also been killed over half a decade ago.

“What is this?” Ghetsis growled. “Was it your decoy we killed?”

Giovanni put his hands up to show they were empty. “I’m not here to, um- whatever you think I’m going to do,” Giovanni promised. “I’m a version of Giovanni from another universe, and I’m here to offer you something. That’s it, that’s all.”

“Oh? Well, what is it?”

“I’ve seen many iterations of you, Ghetsis. Iterations of you without your injuries that struck fear into enemy soldiers not just with your command but and strategy but with a sword in hand. But none of them have made an empire last as long as you have. And since I’m planning to take over the world and then the multiverse, you’d be very useful to me as a military strategist. We’ll be taking control of the rulers of life, space, and time, so we could cure your injuries and make you immortal. So, how about it? Want to be young and spry forever and spend centuries commanding armies of legendary Pokémon? Want to be a God amongst men and strike fear into their hearts?”

Ghetsis smiled madly. “Why, yes. Yes, I would.”

Giovanni outstretched his hand, and Ghetsis shook it.

N woke up and immediately touched the espeon again, waking up in the orb pool. Ghetsis had joined Team Rainbow Rocket for selfish reasons, and not for reasons N could easily use to turn him away from it. But N wasn’t ready to give up on him yet.

“Show me what kind of leader he is,” N said, and an orb floated up and touched his forehead.

The memory took place in what appeared to be overlooking a throne room in a golden palace. Ghetsis, his right side feeling a good deal less stiff and painful than in the last memory, was chatting with Zinzolin.

“Hm, yes, let’s march on Galar a week from now. They’ll be a thorn in our side invading the nearby nations otherwise. But I suspect that once they see the power of the three dragons, they’ll surrender quickly. After all, freezing them over this time of year would mean massive crop failures, and with the embargo in the East, they can hardly afford that.”

Zinzolin seemed to agree with this, but before he could reply, two male Team Plasma grunts entered the throne room, dragging in a woman with tears streaming down her face.

“Well, well, well,” what do we have here?” Ghetsis asked.

“We caught her keeping a buneary in secret,” one of the grunts explained.

“It wasn’t mine, I-I swear it was just a pest that got in by mistake,” the woman stuttered, voice teary, “I have three kids, don’t do this!”

“She’s lying,” the grunt said. “It’s attached to an apricorn pokéball we found in her possession.”

Ghetsis leaned back in his throne. “Very well. You know the drill: to the dungeons with her, then a televised beheading first thing tomorrow morning with the standard speech about how ownership is abuse and anathema. We can’t be letting citizens think we’re getting soft, or they’ll start hoarding Pokémon for an insurrection.”

The woman sobbed. “I’ll let it go, please just let me live!” she begged.

“Will you be doing the execution yourself?” the grunt asked, ignoring her.

“Hmm… no. I woke up early to do executions this morning. I think I’ll sleep in tomorrow and leave this one to someone else. Perhaps we should start scheduling these a bit later so I can enjoy them while fully awake.”

---

N woke up and touched the espeon again. This time he wasn’t sure where to look for goodness in Ghetsis.

If not goodness, maybe I could find vulnerability? Some kind of soft spot that would help me to reason with him?

“Show me how he got his scars,” N requested.

An orb touched N’s forehead.

Ghetsis smiled as he looked upon his scarred hydreigon. Such a powerful and angry creature, and it was terrified of him. The brood of newly hatched deino at her feet huddled under her, whining as they sensed their mother’s anxiety. Ghetsis approached the mother and took out a dex to measure natures of each of the babies. It gave out a timid-sounding warning roar, which he ignored.

“Ah, useless, he’ll stay… useless… useful, but not as good as you… useless… ah.” Ghetsis took a squealing pup by the scruff in his left hand. “A perfect nature. I’ll be taking this!”

The hydreigon roared in anger and terror, and Ghetsis grinned at her and raised the whip he held in his right hand. She recoiled in fear.

And then she used hyper beam, knocking Ghetsis unconscious.

When he woke up, it was to a doctor telling him that his right side had been burned critically. While he’d regain some function in his right side once the initial injuries healed, he would then lose its functioning gradually over the years, and he’d lost his right eye for good.

---

N woke up and touched the espeon again.

“Maybe his vulnerability is that he cares for me more than he lets on. Show me how he felt about me.”

Three orbs lifted, and suddenly N felt reluctant to see what was in them.

“If… any of those memories are especially hard, could you give me a break before you show me?” N asked.

The pool didn’t speak. The first two orbs made their path to N’s forehead.

Ghetsis lay on his stomach in the bushes, the rifle in his hand aimed for the pile of sitrus berries he’d left out. A zoroark loped in, a row of zorua puppies following, and the family started eating. Ghetsis’ heart pounded. This would be the rarest Pokémon he’d ever hunted. But as Ghetsis perfected his aim, he noticed something- a tiny human hand clinging to the zoroark’s chest fluff. The zoroark picked up a sitrus berry, and, as it turned, revealed the small child it was handing it to.

Ghetsis was stunned. The child- a dirty wretch with green hair and touquoise eyes, made eye contact with him. The boy barked- barked like a zoroark- and the Pokémon scattered.

So he’d lived. The boy Ghetsis had abandoned was surviving amongst Pokémon. They were his family. He could communicate with them. He had no knowledge of human civilization. Ghetsis needed a hero to harness Reshiram’s power. Why not someone he could mould from nothing? Who already had every reason to care for Pokémon? Who he could treat however he wanted because he had no sense of what normal was?

Ghetsis followed the tracks until he came upon a small cave. Within it was the zoroark, watching her pups as they ran about with the boy, but also a woobat and a darmanitan- species not normally seen together. This was better than he thought. His mere presence could bring pokemon together.

Ghetsis tossed a pokéball, and his cofagrigus popped out, getting the attention of the three adult pokemon as they turned to him to protect their young.

“I want the boy,” Ghetsis said. “I want to give him a good life. A human life.” Ghetsis spread his arms out to appear friendly.

The zoroark nodded to its makeshift pack, and the Pokémon piled out of the cave along with the boy and began following him home. The boy looked up at Ghetsis, confused. Had he even seen a human before?  Ghetsis offered him his hand, and, while he turned to the zoroark instead, the zoroark nudged him to take it.

The scene changed. Ghetsis was sitting in N’s room, watching as N, looking to be roughly fourteen years old and wearing white robes, prepared for his crowning ceremony.

He’s perfect. More perfect than I ever could have imagined. Kind like his mother, and eloquent like me. And beautiful, and graceful. And smart, and honourable. He knows everything he needs to and nothing else. In my attempt to keep my relations with his mother secret, I inadvertently created the perfect conditions for a perfect hero and figurehead to be made. And that such a creature could come from my blood and my training... he is perhaps my greatest creation.

Ghetsis approached N as he brushed his hair in the mirror. “You’re ready. Let’s go. It wouldn’t be very becoming to be late to your crowing ceremony.”

N pulled at his hair nervously. “Dad, I’m scared. What if I’m not a good king?”

“That’s what I’m here for, boy. To advise you.”

“You’re right. Will I be allowed to see the world soon?”

“Soon. When you’re eighteen. I’ve spent the last ten years building you into a perfect person, N. I don’t want the world to spoil that before your foundations are firm. It takes both purity and knowledge to rule. That is why we need each other.”

N looked up at Ghetsis with loving eyes. “Okay. Thank you, Dad.”

“Of course. Now, stop playing with your hair. We don’t want it to get all messed up, do we?”

N nodded, and the two went their separate ways to play their part in the ceremony.

---

N woke up in the orb pool, an orb inches from his forehead.

“So… the next one’s going to be tough, huh?”

The orb reflected an image of the giant chasm, and Kyurem.

“That was the day he almost killed me.”

According to Cyrus, Ghetsis had killed the N of his universe and enjoyed it. But… maybe Ghetsis was just saying that to cope with the guilt. He seemed to have a lot of warm feelings towards N. Twisted, but warm.

N took a deep breath and pressed the orb to his forehead.

Ghetsis stood in giant chasm, Kyurem by his side. He was favouring his left side, but he was in no pain at all.

“Increase your power, Kyurem, and cover all of Unova in ice,” Ghetsis commanded.

Kyurem obeyed, sending out a torrent of icy wind.

It was blocked by a blast of fire so great that it could have only come from a legendary. A massive blur of majestic white flew in, and upon it was N. The mighty beast landed and N jumped from its back, facing Ghetsis like an adversary.

“So you came. The freak without a human heart, N.”

“Reshiram told me that Kyurem was suffering. I can’t allow selfish humans to make Pokémon suffer. And I like Unova. It’s the place that taught me to live as a human. And it’s the place where I noticed the harmony of people and Pokémon living together.”

Such beauty and bravery in this creature… it almost made Ghetsis proud. Would that he could have used him. But alas, he was nothing but a beast that bit the hand who fed him. “Excellent. That was a moving expression of your determination. So the education I gave you to make you king wasn’t a complete waste. But I still haven’t forgotten how you’ve interfered with my plan.” Ghetsis took an item from his pocket. “You need to be taught another lesson… with these DNA splicers!”

Ghetsis threw the arrowhead-shaped object towards Reshiram. Reshiram flew through the icy cave, weaving between rocky columns and taking sharp turns to avoid the object. But it was no use. The DNA splicer hit Reshiram. With a horrible cry, it was absorbed. The object returned to Kyurem, who seemed to absorb reshiram’s essence, gaining its white fur and stronger limbs.

N gasped. “I never would have believed that fusions between Pokémon were possible... that there’s some sort of formula...”

“Listen, N,” Ghetsis said, “If you’d just become king, Unova would have remained beautiful! Kyurem, freeze the freak solid!”

Kyurem prepared a fire-based attack, its tail glowing orange like an overheated motor and tendrils of fire lifting from its back. But N didn’t move. The freak was locking eyes with the Pokémon aiming to kill him!

“Reshiram... I know you’re still in there. Your voice...there’s still time for you to be separated.”

To Ghetsis’ horror, Kyurem writhed as though it was fighting itself, and its fire extinguished.

Ghetsis grit his teeth in frustration. “Ugh! You’re nothing more than a tool! People, pokemon, you, you’re all just tools for my domination!”

N’s solemn and serene eyes turned to Ghetsis. “As hard as it is for me to call you this... father... Pokemon and human beings together take each other to greater heights… They’re our partners.”

“Shut your mouth! Don’t talk like a person, you freak! No real person can talk to a Pokémon!”

Ghetsis gestured with his cane, and White Kyurem summoned a ball of red, hot energy and shot it towards N. It hit N and blew his body back easily a dozen feet before he fell limp to the ground. Skin charred and clothes burned, N made a shaky attempt to push himself up from the ground.

“Again!” Ghetsis shouted.

Another ball of energy hit N. This time, it left him motionless.

Sadistic joy rose in Ghetsis’ chest. He chuckled as he approached the body of the young creature. Not a human. Not a Pokémon, either. He was nothing and belonged nowhere, and yet he bit the only hand that would ever have been willing to feed him. This was a fate well-deserved.

N woke up in the orb pool, trembling as he tried to keep himself together. He should have known that was how Ghetsis felt about him.

“Is there anything you can show me that can help?” he asked the orb pool. “Help me to understand how I can make him join us, or to reason with the Ghetsis I have at home.”

N looked down at the memory orbs, waiting for a useful one to rise up. None did.

“I think I’m done here,” N said.

N woke up. He brushed tears from his eyes as he looked down at the unconscious body of his old caretaker, but more came. He couldn’t stop crying. The espeon cuddled into him, and his leafeon joined it in his arms, trying to comfort its trainer. N squeezed the two creatures tight. Even his ninjask came in to hug him. After N had gathered himself, he turned to the three Pokémon.

“We can’t take him with us. He has no reason to want to go or to want to listen to me. What should we do with him? Just leave him here?”

The three Pokémon nodded.

“Sounds good.”

With that, N returned the three Pokémon and left. He had villains to team up with.

[catnherthoughts]

5:33 am

i think i make romance a sort of religion. the constant thoughts about him. the way i obsess. honestly i think it’s a bit concerning. the playlists. the tweets. the posts that are just ambiguous enough to not be too obvious but just enough to make you think. think about me. do you ever think about me? you love to keep me wondering. i always wonder. what do you see in me. am i just some girl you can fuck when you’re drunk? maybe. but then what was break all about. i swear i saw you falling for me. you don’t give that sort of attention to just anyone. i would know. reference to calling all my lovelies but all of the men that want me? i can’t even give them the thought of day now. the man who made me realize i could love again. the one who started this stupid cycle. he wants me. it’s so desperate it’s pitiful. that does make me think a bit. would i still want you if you were at my feet like i pray for? like i manifest. like i cry for. is this what i want? do i keep up this self fulfilling prophecy to keep myself the victim. keep myself stuck in the same cycle i spite god for putting me in? i mean i could go to him but i don’t want him. i want you. i want you so bad my heart goes numb whenever you text me. my legs spread for you… daddy. whatever you want for me to do i’ll do. i cut my flesh for you. scars that won’t ever fade. do you love me when i’m like this baby? at your disposal. willing to do anything? or is it too much? i’m sorry i’ll hide out for a while. you won’t hear from me. i’ll make you think that i’ve moved on. then maybe in my absence you’ll think. love me more? and then you can become one of the men that stay in my messages as i fall madly in love with another man who won’t give me the time of day. i liked my time with you. you showed me just enough love for me to get attached and obsessed. ***** there is not a consecutive 5 minutes in the day where you don’t cross my mind. i hate it. and i love you. but i don’t love you. i love thé idea of you. the version of you i made to hold me at night. the version that kisses my cheek and tells me i’m beautiful without needing to undress. the version that can watch a movie with me. god forbid even maybe take me out on a date or make things official. text back? brags to his friends about how perfect i am. but that’s not you. and i’m not expecting you to be that man because it would be wrong of me to make you into perfection when you are just you. and still i’d love the version of you that inhibits your being with every single ounce of life force in me. id kiss every atom that makes you up. swaddle you in my arms. make sure you’d never walk through another day lonely. but alas you don’t want that. you don’t want me. you want sex from me sometimes. you make it feel like you’re doing me some kind of service when you do show up. you’re not god. not the all knowing. and if you’re trying to show me how detrimental desire is i’d love to show you how my desire of my blood flowing down my arms plays out. i know you don’t have any other women. or maybe you do. i know it’s your ex. christina? that name came to me but it fits so well. i bet you thought our initials could go together just like how you and hers did. i wonder how you felt when she cheated. manipulated you. i wonder how bad that hurt. i wonder if you’d use that pain to make me feel the same way. at least we are together in suffering. i wonder if we’ve had our last kiss. or maybe if it’s coming? maybe next time i get drunk i’ll text you in a rage saying how much i hate how you hate me or how you have my heart in your hands and instead of nurturing it you’re letting it spoil. you’re letting me spoil. the lack care makes me putrid, stale, something you don’t eat anymore. but you caused this! that’s the funny thing. the cat you loved is the cat that was perfect. i felt like it was worth being perfect for you. because you cared. now i feel like a neglected wife. always angry. resentful. thinking about how i could be with a good man who’d love me better. but no i can’t be because i’m enamored with the idea of you.

no man could ever turn my eye. yes i joke about how hot and sexy other men are. about how “yo estoy come un pérra en calor”. sex sex sex. yep. wrong. you are the one i can’t breath without. you occupy the deepest parts of my psyche. i don’t think i would want to exist if you didn’t come in and sweep me up that night. god that night. makes me weep just thinking about it. did you think on november 11th that you’d meet a girl who would be writing about you like this? who would cut herself, kill herself, hey maybe even hurt another just for you. the woman who begs and begs for you. no. probably not. but you found me. and you had me right where u wanted me. i bet you’d flinch at the fact that i only kissed you to get away from another. you were a replacement i’m sorry baby. you were someone to be with when another loveless man decided i wasn’t good enough. so i filled myself with you to make up for the pain. and believe me i filled myself to the brim. where’s the man who kissed me for two hours straight. talked with me for 6 hours? i bet you couldn’t even respond to one of my messages in 6 hours. bullshit. you’re a little bitch. i lead myself into delusion every day thinking one day you’ll come in and say you love me. that you’re nothing without my love. that i am essential to your life. but that won’t happen. that’s not you i’m afraid baby. i really wish you were the one though. now i think you’re a wasted body. only bad things come in 3’s.

can i even say that. the sex we had was phenomenal. i can’t even cum on my own the same anymore. it doesn’t feel the same. i sucked your dick. that in itself is insanity. do you know how i used to preach about how revolting that seemed. but i wanted to do it for you. i didn’t feel révoltes by the idea because it was you. it was always you. guess who’s name i scream when i’m all alone with mr wingbot. yours. your kisses, touch, hands, d-. you’re so perfect. that’s saying a lot from me because i’m very particular. I CAN EVEN LOOK PAST THE FACT THAT UR PETITE. because i care that much. but i don’t think you and i have the same definition of care. do you really care if i’m okay? do you really value me for things other than sex. i don’t know what you want from me at this point. id love for you to just be honest. i don’t want any sugar coated bs. i don’t want you to give me hope so i think maybe you’ll come in and love me. no. tell me i’m too much. tell me it’s me. that i’m not good enough and you hate me. then i can move on. i don’t want to move on. WHY CANT YOU BE BETTER. just be better for me. no. that’s not who you are. maybe one day you’ll see this. maybe you stalk me like i stalk you. or maybe i’ll show you when we’re dating just so i can see that all of this was for nothing. maybe i’ll print it and send it to your mother to show her just how great of a son she raised. cancer moon. ugh. it might be the gemini rising tbh. you’d think w a 8th house venus he’d be obsessed w me but i still need to look over his chart for the 37th time to see where i went wrong. capricorn venus. i need to do my research. if i take notes on how you love and like to be loved based on the stars in the sky. maybe then you’ll love me. i can teach you. i can be you’re dream girl and i’ll show you how to love me. all you have to do is be there **. just show up. id make you food. id kiss you whenever where ever. id be at your disposal 24/7. anything. id do it for you. you just need to show up.

for fucks sake i hate you. I WROTE AN ENTIRE CONCLUSION AND IT DELETED. i wouldn’t have to write until my arms were sore if you just loved me. have you ever thought about that babe? do you think about the harm you cause me. the marks you’ve left on me that will never ever leave me. did you know i sliced myself open for you 9 times on your 19th birthday in a heartbroken drunk rage. no. because you will never know how much you seeped into my heart. my soul!!! my soul *****!!! i just wish i didn’t have to say that i’m getting over you. that i’m moving on. that i’m in a healing era. you’re love could have been healing you know? but no. instead i get to wonder where i went wrong and ‘focus on myself’. i want to keep the focus on you. on us. I WANT YOU. i want you to want me enough to keep us afloat. i want you to run over and tell me how much i mean to you and how sorry you are. how you want to be mine and how i’m already yours. god i’m sick of this. in all hopes this isn’t a goodbye. my tarot readings said you’ll come back. delusion is I. for now just know i’m detached. but i did love you. you were loved *****. i don’t know what made my love unable for you to take in but i’m sorry. you should be more sorry. at least we had some time together? you got to rot my brain a bit while i was blind to it all. please don’t see me as some random college hookup. but as someone who you meant the world to. save a space for me in your soul miamor. maybe i’ll be able to take it someday. goodnight at 6:52

[boldlyvoid]

Exploration | request

request for @spencers-dria

summary: season1/2 spencer walking in on reader while she's watching porn in their shared hotel room

warnings: virgin reader, virgin spencer, masturbation, getting caught, coming out, bi reader, first times, friends to lovers, mutual pining, oral sex (male and female receiving), spencers sensitive nipples, multiple orgasms, penetrative sex, idiots in love,

Word count: 4.7k

Read on Ao3

Spencer and Y/N have shared a hotel room for almost every case over the last 3 months, they were the best of friends on the team. Both being geniuses, both socially awkward, and mutually pining for each other without telling anyone.

Morgan thought they were having a secret relationship at first, wondering why Spencer and her would blow off the rest of the team to spend time with each other. They just liked the same things, and finally, they had a person to go with to visit their interests. They went to museums and art shows, rare film showings, food festivals, anything that the other wanted to do.

They loved each other, actually.

They worked incredibly well as a team, bouncing ideas off each other. He could remember everything he’s ever read while Y/N can remember everything she’s ever heard, two different versions of the same eidetic memory.

If Spencer said it, she would never forget it. If she wrote something down for him, it was in his brain forever. It was the best.

They knew every single thing about each other, sharing every single detail of their mutually shit childhoods and almost every single secret that they’ve ever had to keep. He knew about her issues with her family, she knew about his mom and all the bad days she had during his life. She told him in confidence that she was a virgin still while everyone else was bullying him for being one, making sure he felt normal and safe.

They were very special to each other, and that’s why they liked to share rooms while they were away on a case. It was easier to deal with what they saw, what they went through and who they were becoming during this job when they had each other.

They wrapped up yet another case in a town they didn’t belong in, slowly packing up all their things and gathering to take an SUV back to the hotel for the night. Only Spencer and Derek weren’t coming back to the hotel yet, this case had been a little tough on Derek, and Spencer was going to stay back to spend some time with him.

Giving Y/N a little while alone in the hotel to do whatever she wanted.

She changed into her PJ’s as soon as she got in, just a t-shirt and some shorts as she laid in bed with her laptop. Resting it on her left thigh, knee bent while the right leg stretched straight out. Giving her just enough room to place a hand in her pants while she scrolled through Tumblr.

It was better than any porn website sometimes, reading smut that actually got her off or seeing sensual images of actual people making love. Not supermodels and men on viagra repeating the same fake moans over and over. These were real, beautiful, women, willing to be viewed because they enjoyed it and Y/N did too.

Appreciating every single curve and freckle, all the stretch marks and scars. Pimples and razor burn, unshaved legs and real, true orgasms. It was euphoric to see people like her, people who wanted to be looked at and knew she’d be touching herself to their photos.

She had her head tossed back against the pillow, her middle finger circling lightly on her own clit as she enjoyed the moment, listening through headphones to some audio of a woman getting off as she scrolled through photos of other naked women. The image of sucking on someone's tits popping into her mind, making her moan softly.

Not noticing that the hotel door had just opened.

“Oh,” whimper quietly fell from her lips as she heard the door click. Slamming her laptop closed and pulling her hand out of her shorts. “Oh my god, you saw nothing!”

“I saw a lot actually,” Spencer managed to say, face red and mouth wide open.

“You can’t tell anyone I’m into girls, I, I” Y/N panicked, “I’ve never said that out loud before.”

Spencer sat on the edge of his bed as he faced her, “it’s okay, I like girls too…”

“Oh, I had no idea?” She teased him, laughing at how funny this whole situation is. “Seriously though, I’m so sorry I thought you’d be gone longer.”

“I should have knocked, I honestly didn’t think you were the type to, you know,” he swallowed sharply, unable to say the word masturbate even though that's what he just walked in on her doing.

She felt so unbelievably flustered, embarrassed didn’t even cover it. “I like boys too, I just find girls are better when I need to get off quickly,” she bites her lips as she is all too honest with him. It’s not like he was going to run away…

He stands then, walking towards the door, “sorry, I can go see if Derek wants to hang out if you want more time?”

“Or…” the gears start turning in her head, “you’re still a virgin too right?”

He nods softly, sure he knows where she’s going and terrified. “Would you want to just talk about what we both like and maybe, I don’t know? Experiment a little? I’ve always thought it would be easier if I really trust the first person I sleep with, I’d rather it be you than anyone else honestly.”

“You’re not joking, right? Because that would be a really mean joke,” his breathing was rigid and he was already hard at just the thought, “You’re not just saying this to get me all flustered and bully me after?”

“Spencer?” She looked at him like he just insulted her in the worst way possible, “I would never do that to you and you know that?”

He nodded shyly, putting his head down as he backed up against the door, “you really want to?”

“I do,” she nodded. “You can get comfortable and then come sit beside me? I can show you want I was looking at?”

“O-okay,” he said, grabbing his suitcase and heading towards the bathroom.

He’s in there for a while, she’s wondering if she fucked everything up and ruined the best friendship she ever had because she thought he could handle sharing yet another dream together. But then he’s coming back out, dressed in just an oversized t-shirt and his boxers, he’s holding his right elbow with his left hand as he bites his bottom lip.

He’s terrified.

She pats the bed softly, moving over so that they each have a pillow and the laptop can rest in the middle of them. “So, are you really okay with this? We don’t have to actually, we can get as far as we want before one of us backs out, okay?”

“Don’t feel obligated to go all the way with me, if you want to stop then we stop,” Spencer agreed, finally making eye contact with her and taking a deep breath.

His eyes are so soft, his hair is so cute as he tucks it behind his ears, his bottom lip is plump from all the chewing he’s been doing on it, she can’t help herself from leaning in, “I really wanted to be your first kiss.”

“You can have everything else,” he admits, swallowing as he stares back at her lips.

“Can I kiss you now?”

He’s about to nod a yes and her lips are right on his, his hands come up to cup her face as he takes it all in. He pulls back only an inch to pepper more kisses to her lips, making up for the lost time.

Y/N smiles as she pulls back more, placing her hand over top of his as he still holds her face, “what do you think you’d like in bed?”

He laughs lightly, “I don’t even know, the idea of sex with someone is typically enough to get me off.”

“I like boobs,” she admits with a smile.

He blushes even harder then, his face and neck turning a bright shade of red, “me too.”

She takes her shirt off then, nothing on underneath so he can see everything she has to offer. He’s speechless, mouth open and tongue probably dry from all the air that’s past it so far tonight, scratch that he’s not even breathing right now.

She holds them in her hands then jiggling them slightly as she shows him, “you can touch them if you want, I’m sure you wonder what they’re like?”

“I-I do,” he’s able to close his mouth and swallow again, clearing his throat and squinting softly as he tries to make eye contact with her, wanting to be as respectful as possible while she’s trying to get him to fuck her.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” She asks again, hiding her nipples behind her palms as she holds them close to her chest.

He nodded feverishly with a soft smile, “I’m just worried I’m going to ruin your first time.”

She gripped onto his wrists and lead them to her chest, “I said I wanted to experiment, doctor, have you ever had a 100% success rate on something before?” He shook his head while he started to play with her boobs. “Exactly, this is about learning, don’t expect me to be good at touching you right away either.”

“I could finish from just touching you, don’t sell yourself so short,” he managed to laugh then, breaking out of his shell as he felt truly comfortable with her.

“We're young, you can go twice in a row right?” She teased him again, starting to really enjoy the way he was needing at her breasts like they were balls of pizza dough.

“I’ve always wanted to kiss a woman’s breasts,” Y/N closes her eyes and explains her fantasy, “to play with the nipple in my mouth and just see what it’s like.”

Spencer pulls off his own shirt, “do I ever have a surprise for you,” another joke as he points at both of his nipples, “I’m kind of like an a cup right?”

She can’t help but swat at his arm, as she gasps at him, “don’t make fun of me!”

“I’m serious!” Spencer smacks her arm right back, “nipples are nipples, men’s are just as sensitive as women's if not more so because ours have no real purpose associated with children.”

“I guess we don’t need this then? We’re just jumping right in,” She says as she picks up the laptop and sets it on the floor beside her bed.

“Can I sit in your lap?” She asks, worried for how much contact he’s okay with this quickly.

He sits up a bit more, leaning on the headboard as he nods, “sure, just I’m… hard so…”

It makes her smile, she straddles his lap and sits more on his thighs, avoiding the friction there so that he might last a bit longer, she fully believes he can and will explode the second they make contact, and she’d be lying if she said it wasn’t also very enticingly sexy.

“You’ll tell me to stop if you need to?” She repeated the rules before leaning in, watching him nod again before she kissed the centre of his chest.

Resting her hands on his ribs, she pressed more kisses to his chest and breast bone, she ran her tongue over his left nipple and he shuddered with a whimper, “told you,” he’s able to squeak the words out.

She smiles against his skin, sucking his nipple into her mouth softly and he moans, nice and loud. “Shut up,” she whisper-yells at him, “Hotch is in the next room.”

“Sorry, fuck,” he swears, it’s a rare occasion for him to swear so it’s like music to her ears.

She kisses back up his neck until she’s under his ear, sucking the sensitive skin softly so she doesn’t leave a mark but it’s enough to make his hips rut forward. He lets his hands travel over her thighs and rest on her hips for merely a second before he’s grabbing a handful of her ass cheeks, making her laugh slightly.

“I’m ticklish on my butt,” she warns him as she sits up straighter, looking him in the eyes again only this time his iris has been devoured by lust, no longer a beautiful honey brown but a dark and inviting black.

“You never really told me what you’re into,” Spencer whispered again, actually listening and keeping his voice down.

“I like watching women because I can relate to their pleasure, when I get off to visuals of men it’s more just me finding them fascinating because I’ll never know what it’s like to stroke my own dick or what it's like to cum like that, y’know? Like I’m sure you find eating pussy fascinating because you don’t have one, there’s something alluring about the unknown,” for some reason she felt nervous as she kept rambling, almost trying to justify her attraction to both. “I also like audios, I’m sure you know why.”

“Cause you can remember it all?”

She nodded again, “it’s very easy to get off when I can hear, verbatim in my mind, some dom calling me a good girl and saying he’s going to make me a real woman,” she couldn’t help but laugh. “They’re all so bad, believe me, but there’s something about knowing someone wants me that makes me horny? I really like knowing someone might find me sexy.”

Spencer just shakes his head with a sly smile, “I’ve literally been masturbating to thoughts of you for months now.”

Butterflies erupt in her stomach then and suddenly she’s the speechless one, blinking a few times as her brain processed all the information.

“Seriously?”

He nodded, “you’re not grossed out by that?”

She shook her head mighty fiercely, “I need you to tell me what you think about when you do it, what is it about me that get’s you off?”

He bit his lip for a second, his hands roaming her body once more as she took a deep breath in anticipation, “it’s always the same, do you remember that one time you pulled me aside and fixed my belt for me?”

She couldn’t help but smirk, “oh yeah I thought about that too..”

It was one of the first cases she was on, getting to know Spencer more and more as the days passed and becoming his best friend very quickly. She had been staring at his belt all day, it was just slightly off centre and it was pissing her off to a degree that it shouldn’t.

But his tie was like an arrow, pointing towards the button and fly of his pants, only the belt buckle wasn’t centred it was to the side and his gun was too far over so it’s not like he could easily adjust it if she told him from the table they were at.

So she politely asked him to join her in the quiet staff room, “I know you think I’ve been staring at your dick all day but I promise you it’s your stupid belt pissing me off.”

She stepped into his space and moved his holster back before twisting his belt in the loops, making sure it was perfectly in the middle before flattening his tie again, taking a step back to insure it was perfect, “better.”

“Thanks?” He was so confused, and very red, clearly doing everything in his power to not get hard while she was that close to him.

“Anytime,” she smiled softly, leaving the room as quickly as possible and never bringing it up again.

“I was serious it was pissing me off,” she laughed, “but I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t go home and shove my fingers in my mouth thinking about how much better it would have been to suck you off in that tiny kitchen in the middle of Alabama.”

He lets out the most desperate whimper she’s ever heard, crawling backwards on her knees till she’s far enough from him that he can spread his legs and give her access to him, “I’ve never done this.”

“I have nothing to compare it to,” he reminded her with a soft smile, “I’m sure you’ll be the best I get.”

It made her a little sad thinking about him with anyone else and suddenly she couldn’t do it. Sitting up straight with a sad look on her face as she tried to push the feelings back down, “I can’t do this without you knowing I have a huge crush on you and I’m probably just going to fall in love with you the second we have sex.”

“Good,” he replaced all her fears with a smile, “I was scared to say I wanted you to be my first and only.”

She tugged at the band of his underwear then, he lifted his hips slightly and she was pulling them all the way off. Throwing them towards the bed that was supposed to be his before finally looking at his perfect, absolutely beautiful dick.

“Wow,” is all she could say, holding it in her hand as she looked at it. He was cut, at least 8 inches hard and a hearty girth. She had never held a penis in her hand before, mesmerized by how warm it was and the heartbeat she could feel in the prominent vein that showed on the underside.

She stroked him once, he was holding his breath so intensely as he gripped the sheets, desperate to let her look while trying not to cum so soon, no one had ever touched him before, especially not the topless girl he’s been masturbating to for months.

“It’s okay,” she reminded him, taking a second to run her tongue along the underside of his dick while he moaned again, just as loud as before. “Good thing hotch thinks I’m here by myself.”

She calms down just enough to take him in her mouth, doing what she imagined worked the best and avoiding any contact with her teeth. The mixture of the heat of her wet mouth, the contact, the fact it was her, and the fact it was happening in the first place sent him right over the edge, she’s barely able to prepare herself before he’s coming in her mouth.

It’s not as horrible as she expected, swallowing as she continues to suck him off gently. Spencer let out such a high-pitched noise he was silent now, no longer able to make sounds anyone in the hotel could hear. She pulls off with a pop before he can get too overstimulated, wiping the spit off her mouth before getting in closer again.

“Kiss me,” Spencer insists, pulling her in and sucking her tongue into his mouth.

It’s hot and wet and unexpected, he’s needy and alive and she’s desperate as hell for his touch. He grips her hips and picks her up, laying her back against the bed and pulling her shorts and underwear off, she’s unable to even think as she spreads her legs and he dives in.

Not skipping a beat he’s flattening his tongue against her spread pussy and lapping up all the evidence of just how horny he makes her. It's better than anything she has ever imagined, he sucks at her clit in just the most perfect way before flicking it back and forth with his tongue.

“Fingers,” she reminds him, breathlessly as she arches her back and tries to push herself into his mouth again.

He runs his pointer finger over her hole, circling it gently before slipping it inside, pumping in and out of her as he keeps repeating the same movements on her clit. The backs of her knees start to sweat and that all too familiar heat starts to bubble in her gut, the same one she was chasing just before he walked in on her.

“Add a second and curl it, fuck,” she had to take a breather as he listened, pumping into her without a single issue as he found her g spot, “oh god fuck, Spencer!”

He’s been reading, she knows it because so had she. She read every post about pleasure and what feels good in the hopes this would happen one day. The day someone she cared about finally helped her experience sex in the best way possible, learning together.

She cums and he didn’t stop, her legs started shaking and her breathing is rigid as he keeps going. She felt shockwave after shockwave, not sure what was her actual orgasm anymore as it all started to blur together and overwhelm her.

She reached forward for his face and physically pulled him off, hands on his cheeks as she guided him back to her mouth. Tasting each other on their tongues, it was like a dream finally having all of him the way she always dreamed.

“I’m hard again,” he breathes the words against her skin as his kisses travel down her neck, not scared in the slightest. “If you still want to?”

“Yeah, I do,” she’s just as breathless, hands roaming his back as he keeps kissing her neck. “I don’t have any condoms.”

“Fuck,” he drops his head to her shoulder. “I don’t either.”

“And we don’t have a minibar so there won't be any in here,” she lets out a deep sigh, “pass me my phone on the side table.”

He pulls back from her then and does as she asked, she opened it and dialled a number. “Hey Elle, I brought a guy back to my room and I don’t have any condoms, can you slide one under my door?” Her voice a whisper, trying to keep up the facade that she had a stranger with her.

“Who? Oh my god?” Elle tried to pry, “where’s Spencer? Derek’s with me, he dropped him off at your door?

“I don’t know? I’ve been kinda busy,” she lied, “maybe he heard us and left?”

“Poor boy’s gonna be heartbroken you’re cheatin' on him,” Elle teased, “but yeah I’ll slide a few under the door.”

“Thank you,” she rushed the words out and closed the flip phone once again. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I don’t think I’m ready for them to know I’m losing my virginity tonight. They’ll make a big deal out of it,” Spencer smiled softly, “plus it’s nice just having you to myself still, they don’t have to know what we do.”

Just then 3 individual condoms were thrown under her door, sliding across the carpet and waiting to be used. “Good luck Spence!” They heard Derek’s voice behind the door and Spencer’s face went white. “Have fun!” Elle added, both of them laughing as they returned to their separate rooms.

Spencer got up from the bed and picked up the condoms as they both tried to pretend that didn’t just happen, bringing them back to Y/N as he stood beside the bed.

“Can I do it?” He was surprised she asked, handing it to her with wide eyes as she tore the package open. “Lay down, I’ve always wanted to do this.”

He did just as she told him to as she sat in between his legs once more and carefully put the condom on the right way. Pinching the tip as she rolled it down, not nervous in the slightest, giddier that she was doing this with her best friend.

Then it was on him, and all they had to do was each other.

“What position do you want to do it in first?” Spencer asked carefully, “I know it hurts in certain angles and I wouldn’t want to hurt you the first time.”

It makes her smile, “missionary, I want to look at you.”

She lays back against the pillows instead, spreading her legs and letting him rest between them. He’s sitting on his knees, holding himself by the base of his cock as he gets in closer and closer, running the head over her clit on the way to her entrance, it feels amazing.

“Ready?” His voice is so soft, he truly cares about her and suddenly she’s feeling more emotional than horny, so she nods as she swallows down her feelings.

He starts to push in slowly, she’s still so turned on and relaxed that he slips right in almost effortlessly, “fuck,” is all he can say as he bottoms out and hovers over her.

Now face to face once again, she pulls him in for another kiss. Hot and heavy just like before, he starts to rock his hips in and out of her while they make out. He starts to get a groove and soon enough he’s really fucking her.

“Shit, Spence,” she pants into his mouth as he reaches for her clit, circling his thumb over her as he pumps in and out of her with an interesting rhythm, he’s trying his best and it’s truly amazing.

He drops his forehead to her shoulder as he keeps going, breathing deep against her skin. She wraps her legs around him, arching her back so she can take him in even deeper every single time, her nails are dug so deep into his skin that she knows he’s going to have deep red scratch marks all over his back in the morning.

Then he's kissing her neck, needing something to do with his mouth while he fucks her. Unable to speak, he sucks hickey after hickey to her collar bone and shoulder, where no one but he will know it’s there.

“I love you, sweet fucking christ I love you so much Y/N,” is what finally sends her over the edge.

That little bubble of heat bursting, sending waves of pleasure through her body to the point she feels like she’s being resuscitated, life is rushed through her body as she chants his name without a care in the world for how loud she’s being.

She grips his hair with one hand so tight he yelps, stuttering his hips and cuming with a shout into the condom. Dropping against her as they both breathe like they’ve run a marathon, mutual orgasms wearing down as he pulls out gently, making her twitch and laugh at how amazing she feels.

Delirious as ever, she wraps her arms around him and peppers a million kisses to the top of his head. “I love you too, thank you, Spencer.”

“For loving you or the sex?” He can't help but try and make her laugh again and he’s successful.

“Both, I always want both,” she admits, holding his face in her hands again so she can look at his beautiful chocolate eyes once more. “Can we be more than friends?”

He nods softly, “do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“I’ve wanted to be your girlfriend for a while,” she admits with a sweet smile, unbelievably in love with him just like she knew she would be.

He doesn’t get into the bed that was supposed to be his, instead, the two of them cleaning up for the night and slipping under the covers of her bed. Cuddled up in each other's embrace for the night, not wanting to pull apart when Spencer’s alarm finally starts to go off.

They’re both a little sore from the sex, their bodies and muscles not used to moving the way they did or the number of orgasms they had in such quick succession.

They both pack their bags and leave the hotel room together only to find Derek, Elle, JJ and Hotch waiting on the other side of the door, clapping as soon as they saw them.

Y/N lets out a deep sigh as she rolls her eyes, “yeah yeah, get it all out, me and Spencer finally got together, fuck off.”

She takes Spencer’s hand then, tugging him down the hallway towards the elevators as the rest of them laugh, huddling into the elevator as they all snickered, looking at the both of them for any evidence of the activities of the night before.

“How did you even know?” Is all Spencer can ask Derek.

“There’s 0 chance that a man Y/N ‘picked up’ wouldn’t have a condom on him, you’re the only guy I know who doesn’t have one in his wallet,” Derek explained with a proud smirk, shaking Spencer’s shoulder softly.

“Well, I do now,” he smiled to himself as he turned bright red.

always taking requests!

[burnedbyshoto]

split

— Shouto becomes victim of a quirk accident. In that he become two people who get along as well as fire and ice do. They clash at every moment, and only seem to agree on one thing: their love for you. Or in which Shouto gets split into two by a quirk that spilts chimeras and in order for peace to be found you find yourself in a threesome with two halves that make the one you love most.

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pairing: split!todoroki shouto x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, smut, threesome, split!shouto, anal, double penetration, blowjob, rimming, cunnilingus, cursing, degradation, praise 

word count: 8,930

a/n: LMAOOOOOO this waas actually fun to write the names I gave them were super easy because I am uncreative. I used an anons rec for shoutos hero name: reisho so that’s what that is. and thank you to my lovely canasian for finding the original drabble I wrote. pls enjoy!

kinktober day 6 main kink: threesome

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“What’s going on?”

It was a series of words that often came out of your mouth because, as a Pro Hero, there were many times where you had no idea what was going on. It usually ranged from asking why Kaminari and Kirishima were giggling and avoiding your gaze when you walked into a room to coming onto an active battle where Bakugou and Midoriya were bloodied and crazed. There was nothing off-limits to those words, as they were, after all, said in complete confusion. 

“Where is he?!” you tried again, watching as nineteen different eyes look everywhere but at you.

However, it was without given when you watched your twenty -- wait, was that twenty-one? -- former classmates both stumble into one another as they turn to face you.

“Y/l/n-chan!” Mina squeaked, stepping up from the crowd, trying to cover up the two people in there that you couldn’t quite recognize as your classmates. “How was patrol? I heard that Todoroki-kun left you midway!”

You wished that last comment didn’t make your cheeks burn as intensely as it did.

Today had been one of the rare days that you had gone off on your route with your boyfriend, Todoroki Shouto. Both of you watched the busy streets and whispering between yourself as you avoided the masses, not wanting to get caught up with fan interactions that were rather unneeded. But there had been a large altercation that required Shouto’s expertise. Specifically, the voice at headquarters commanded that you stay on patrol while Shouto would leave. So you had watched as Shouto placed a hand on your cheek, his thumb softly petting your cheek, his smile warm.

“I’ll be back,” he had promised before taking off in a mist of ice and fire.

You continued the rest of your patrol with a rather childish pout on your face, you hadn’t enjoyed being sidelined like this, but you calmly assessed the situation. It probably wasn’t a fight you would be much aid in, and there was never a reason to send more than enough heroes onto a single area. But your route was coming to an end, and Shouto had still yet to reappear. Trying not to overthink it, you frowned while passing a store with TVs out in front.

Staring at the bright, flashing screen, you suddenly felt a sense of panic at the headliner: Chimera Quirk-Wielding Villain Apprehended by Pro Heroes Froppy, Pinky, and Reisho. (slight injuries on the hero team.)

With concern pitting up horribly in your stomach for your friends and boyfriend, you finished your assignment as calmly as you could, before finally getting to rush back to your agency. You had taken to the rooftops to get there as quickly as you could.

Through all that, you found yourself right where you had been in the beginning, staring at Mina, who despite the few scrapes of dirt and soot on your costume, looked normal. Your eyes glanced over at Tsuyu, who, like Mina, was unharmed -- which left Shouto.

“Something strange happened during that battle,” Momo spoke up, her face set with concern, her eyes, although not horrified, was definitely a bit at a loss for an explanation.

“Wha--?”

“The person we fought against could make chimera’s out of people, but the limits of their quirk meant that once they made a chimera, they couldn’t add more to the creation,” Mina explained, her head nodding as she looked from Momo to you. Her fingers were tugging at her pink curls, and you tilted your head.

“Is Shouto still smashed together with someone or something?” you asked, a bit hesitant to see what potentially horrific creation your boyfriend could have turned into. “I’ve seen Shouto show up home after the poop-villain fiasco, I swear I won’t cry if he’s ugly!”

“Well, no, kero,” Tsuyu frowned, her finger pressing to her lower lip as she tilted her head. “Mina-chan and I were a chimera for a bit, and the quirk has a limit when they make a chimera.”

You didn’t like how that was worded.

“Just fucking show her the idiots who threw the match!” Bakugou snapped, his eyebrows furrowed as he shoved the crowd away in the middle, parting them like Moses did the red sea. 

Idiots? You thought, your confused expression growing as you looked from Bakugou’s frowning face onto what they had been hiding from you.

And you instantly understood why when you were greeted with two heads. One entirely redheaded, the other entirely white-haired, each with identical faces who looked at you with the same tone to their eyes.

“You see, their quirk can also separate chimera’s, and well… I — we, guess that Todoroki-san is one,” Momo informed you as you stared at opposite replicates of your loving boyfriend. “The villain said they’ve never split a natural-born human chimera before, it had been their first time, so the lasting effects of the quirk are unknown.”

The redheaded Shouto still sported a scar on his face, but he felt completely different. His face was cold, stare distant, and burning with a suppressed, denied fury that you couldn’t recognize on him outside of a battlefield. But even with the cold look encompassing his body and stature like a thick sheet of ice, when he looked at you with his set of two burning turquoise eyes, you knew his feelings for you were still the same.

The white-haired Shouto had no scar, and he looked much closer to the man you knew currently, except maybe a bit more open? His face quipped into a smile, his eyes swimming with mirth, joy, and content with finally seeing you here, all good emotions but emotions you weren’t used to him exposing to the public like this. But even with the warm, loving look burning softly around him, his set of grey eyes shone with feelings you knew were true.

“My boyfriend is split into two?!”

There was something wrong with that sentence, something that carried heat because the moment you said those words, both Shouto’s seemed to freeze next to each other. Icy and fiery glares meeting in an electric firestorm as Deku promptly dragged you out of the room with Momo and Mina. You struggled against Deku’s iron grip, only seeing white-haired Shouto’s jaw drop in the beginnings of a speech while redheaded Shouto glowered at him with all the intensity he could muster.

“Y/l/n-san, we need you to never, ever mention that they’re the same person,” Deku immediately spoke as soon as the door between the hallway and the room where the Shouto’s were closed. “He’s — they’re — not handling that information very well, and are acting rather… immature about who the real ‘Todoroki-kun’ is.”

“They’re not connected by the same mind?!” you spluttered, your own mind feeling like it was split down the middle at the hypothesis that your boyfriend was both of these men, but none of them. “So, it’s like a split personality manifesting completely?”

“We’re a bit sure on how to compare it to something such as dissociative disorder,” Momo spoke calmly, undoubtedly her mind working a mile a millisecond to make sense of the strange predicament you all were in. “He’s been in here for some time now. And from what we’ve managed to question from him, both parts of Todoroki-san remember everything. It seems they differ in just how they felt about it on an emotional basis.”

You blinked once, twice.

“Do you mind giving me an example?”

Goddamn idiot you were.

“Well, I guess the bigger emotional differences were during our high school years,” Midoriya mumbled, his fingers pinching his lower lip in thought. “A good example would be why he challenged me during the sports festival. Redhead Shouto said he did it because he hated Endeavor so much back then he was willing to prove his strength no matter what. White-haired Shouto says it was an overreaction on his own part and that he’s truly sorry.”

You frowned.

“It almost sounds like if Todoroki-san’s quirk had been only one of his parents, and his two halves are insights to the life he would have led if he had only one,” Momo offered a pursed stare. She didn’t seem too sure of her conclusion, but for you, it was enough.

“Honestly, you were the only one I saw both Todoroki-kun’s act the same toward!” Mina exclaimed, her hands grabbing your shoulders as she leaned in close, a sly grin on her face. “It’s like the two of you are destined lovers, no matter how the world is!”

“Mina!” you whined, feeling utterly embarrassed as she snickered loudly, her eye falling into a wink before straightening up.

“Alright, so just a recap: don’t mention which one is the ‘real’ Todoroki,” Mina warned, already moving back into the room.

“What do we call them then?” you whispered, feeling not at all prepared to stare at two, stupid hot versions of your same boyfriend.

“Ah-ha, well,” Midoriya smiled embarrassed, his hand rubbing the back of his neck as you all walked back in. “Only Kacchan brought up a nickname so far.”

“YOU STUPID FUCKING RED HALF!” Bakugou’s voice roared the moment the door opened, and immediately, you were pulled back into the mess of the situation. “I’LL MURDER YOUR ASS!”

“Someone was clearly not raised on manners,” came the snide remark from Shouto’s white half, and you watched on in horror as your old male classmates worked together to hold off all three rambunctious boys to keep from fighting.

“LET GO OF ME, SHITTY HAIR! I’LL GIVE THEM BOTH NEW SCARS IF THEY KEEP ACTING LIKE THIS!”

But you stared at the apathetic face on Shouto’s red half, his eyes somehow empty, dull, and angry as he glared at Bakugou.

Red half.

Red.

You looked at Shouto’s white half that was grinning at the challenge, icy frosting off his body akin to the explosions on Bakugou’s fists as he egged him on. 

White.

That would be easy enough.

You snorted, before walking forward, grabbing your boyfriend(s) hands in yours, and they quickly turned to look at you. Their gazes turning warm and full, their demeanor utterly different as the raging Bakugou faded into the background. 

“So, I’m sure you both know what’s going on at the moment,” you spoke clearly, just loudly enough to be heard over the popping explosions on Bakugou’s palms. “I also know you’re both confident in who you are, but the truth is you both have the same name, so we’re going to need a new thing to call the both of you. Is that okay?”

“Ah, I see,” white-haired Shouto nodded, his hand tightening around yours, his thumb running along the backside of your palm. “You will continue to call me Shouto, and we will call him, the Imposter.”

Wait, what?!

“I’m not the imposter,” redheaded Shouto rolled his eyes, taking the hand he held up to his lips, pressing a gentle, warm kiss to your knuckles — it contrasted chillingly with the cold, aloof tone he continues to have with his white half. “I am, after all, the one with the facial scar. It is the most recognizable feature of me. Clearly, you’re the imposter.”

You had to ignore the way your stomach fluttered and how your cheeks exploded in heat as both Shouto’s were suddenly kissing your knuckles. They only went further after leaving warm, chilling kisses on your skin. For they pulled you closer by your waist, a physical challenge between the two to claim you. Even though they both were for you.

It was only made worse by the wide-eyed, cheek splitting grins, and spluttering noises made by your old classmates who relished in this rom-com type embarrassment.

“Oh my god, enough!” you squeaked, trying to shove both overpowering men away from you.

“See, you’re being too much,” white-haired Shouto snapped, ripping you from redhead Shouto’s hold.

“Let. Y/n. Go.” redhead Shouto growled, hand exploding with fire, and you wrestled yourself out of white-haired Shouto’s hold to press your palms flat against each of their chests.

“You both better calm down right now, or else I’ll send you off with our friends until you’re back to normal!” you snap, your cheek radiating with explosive heat. With the threat heavy on their minds, redhead Shouto took away his flame, and white-haired Shouto took a less defensive stance. Relieved with their current treaty, you thrust a finger at both halves, looking between your way too amused classmates and your boyfriend(s). “You will be called Red--” you jabbed redheaded Shouto with your finger-- “and you will be White!” you spoke clearly, tapping white-haired Shouto with your other finger.

“Am I understood?”

Silence.

You glared at your boyfriend(s) who were staring down at you with wide eyes and gaping jaws.

“I said, am I understood?”

“Yes, ma’am,” your boyfriend(s) sputtered.

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Highlight of Day One of Living with the Todoroki Twins Boyfriend(s):

“Where is Red going to sleep?” White asked as you settled into the, thankfully, large bed the two -- now three -- of you shared. “On the floor?”

The bed had been a present from Endeavor when Shouto had moved into your apartment with you. It was much bigger than anything you owned, and while you hadn’t been fond of the length and stretch of the bed, you indeed were grateful for it now.

“Y/n likes to be warm when she sleeps,” Red duly noted, glaring at White the entire time it took him to crawl onto the right side of the bed. He settled right by you, arm wrapped around your waist, chin grazing against your temple. “You sleep on the floor.”

“You need comfort to stay beautiful, and since you’re eliminated from being that because of the scar on your face, you can sleep on the floor!” White countered while reciprocating the same position Red was doing.

Red’s eyebrow twitched at that before his glare soured and became icy cold, “I have the bigger co--”

“Both of you shut up now!” you snap, the palms of your hands shoving their faces away from one another. You were feeling more like a mother to a pair of troublesome twin toddlers than the girlfriend of your boyfriend(s). “I don’t want to hear it!” you groan as both their jaws dropped to attempt to speak their mind. “If you can’t shut up and sleep, I’ll sleep on the floor!”

“No!”

“No!”

“Then shut up, love me more, and let’s go to bed!”

…

…

…

“You don’t have the bigger cock--”

“Oh my god!”

“Please don’t go, my love, White is an idiot.”

Highlight of Day Two of Living with the Todoroki Twins Boyfriend(s):

“Well, this is certainly an interesting thing to be experiencing,” Rei’s gentle voice filled the room as both Red and White sat at her sides. Neither one of them touching her, but their gazes warm and soft for their mother. Rei touched the cheeks of both her son(s) and sighed softly before returning her attention to you. “Has it been hard? I do hope they’ve been behaving themselves.”

You smiled in hopes it would help to hide the grimace on your features as you laughed.

Just this morning, the two of them nearly burned down the kitchen while trying to outperform one another in making you breakfast in bed. It was of ample notice to realize that just one Todoroki Shouto was not to be trusted in the kitchen, but putting two Todoroki Shouto’s in there had caused them to somehow burn water and melt the stove.

The eggs they managed to pull together were burnt yet undercooked and had eggshells in them.

It wasn’t the worst meal you’ve had fun enough.

“They’re doing just fine,” you lie, your smile warm at the woman you would hope to one day become your mother-in-law. “Just a bit odd to deal with two people when I’m so used to one.”

“Oh, I’m sure it is. In fact, they initially saw Shouto was to be twins, but he absorbed the other one in the womb,” Rei admitted, a small laugh on her tongue as she politely covered her mouth, her eyes closed in her mirth. “A bit funny how it seems like this could have been the outcome of that life.”

You feel a cold sweat drip on the back of your neck as Red straightens, his eyes darkening as he makes contact with Rei’s arm, and fear thrums through every fiber of your being.

“Kaa-san?”

“Yes, Shouto?” Rei asked, her warm grey eyes taking in Red’s gloomy form.

“White called me ugly.”

Highlight of Day Three of Living with the Todoroki Twins Boyfriend(s):

“My love, I’m not feeling too well,” White groaned on the couch when you first arrived home.

Unfortunately, or fortunately for you, you were still being cleared to work during this time of split Shouto. After a much-needed relatively short time away from home, you had returned after a patrol to a clean apartment living room and Red sitting on the singles armchair, and White sprawled on the couch. 

You froze, Shouto hardly ever got sick! His internal temperature was always so in tune to the things around him that no virus, bug, or bacteria ever managed to infect him with sickness. For all five years of knowing him, you had never once seen him sick.

“Oh my god!” you panicked, rushing to remove your coat and shoes as you ran over to the couch to feel his forehead for a temperature.

He was running a bit cold, as he always did on his right side of his body, so you internally freaked about if this was normal or not! Your Shouto always had a specific spot on his forehead that was considered normal, but this was not your normal Shouto.

You were fucked, so wildly fucked.

“Are you okay? What do you need? I can go get you a blanket. I’ll get some soup going! What medicine do you think you need?!”

“There’s…” White trailed off in his exhaustion, his hands rubbing his face in probably his sick delirium. “There’s only one thing that will help…”

“What is it?” you asked, leaning in closer to him so that his flushed lips were centimeters from your ear.

“I need... “ he trailed off, and you leaned in closer, only to be suddenly trapped in his arms and pulled on top of him. “Some one-on-one time with my beautiful girlfriend!”

The scent of burning leather filled the room.

“WHITE PUT IT OUT! PUT OUT THE FIRE!”

“Princess, I’m not feeling good.”

Good fucking grief.

Highlight of Day Four of Living with the Todoroki Twins Boyfriend(s):

“Hot soba.”

“Cold soba.”

“Hot soba.”

“Cold soba.”

“Hot.”

“Cold.”

“Hot!”

“Cold.”

“The store has both!” you sobbed, your boyfriend(s) adopting their possessive hugging on your body while out in public as you had attempted to get them out of the house because you thought that maybe, just maybe, they were feeling stir-crazy.

“But we always share our soba noodles, y/n,” Red looked down at you, tilting your chin so that you could look at him clearly. “I know you love cold soba more.”

“We get it, Ice Princess, daddy hurt your feelings, and now you still hate everything hot! Get over it; y/n always buys hot soba when you’re not around.”

“G-Guys,” you whimper, suddenly feeling drowned out with the clashing of ice and fire personalities around you as the crowd watched on in bemusement. “Please stop.”

They suddenly both turned on you, their eyes narrowed, faces fierce as they both exclaimed at the same time: “Which soba do you like better?!”

You’re too exhausted of them to even scold them like you had used to anymore.

In the end, they tried to settle it via arm wrestling, which resulted in a horrible tie. They had both tried to use their quirks to win, somehow forgetting in the heat of their battle that their quirks not only canceled each other, but their strength was painfully equivalent. 

Highlight of Day Five of Living with the Todoroki Twins Boyfriend(s):

To be frank, you missed kissing Shouto.

With them being the way they were and how horribly chaotic they acted, you knew if you kissed one, it would lead to them both impregnating you and slipping an engagement ring on your pretty ring finger well before you were ready for either one of those things. So instead, you stared at both of their equally perfect lips.

Full, slightly pouty pink lips that were somewhat chapped as they always were due to his quirk elements. Full, soft lips that you had felt pressed to your hands and cheeks for the past five days, and yet you craved it to be pressed against your lips, but that was undoubtedly dangerous.

But you continued to stare at Red’s lips, at White’s lips.

You liked seeing how their teeth exposed themselves when they smiled, or how he had barely formed dimples on his cheeks, the smile lines that had finally formed on his previously smooth face. You liked seeing the way he bit on his lower lip when he held his tongue, or how his tongue seductively swiped his lips when he caught you staring.

Wait—?!

You snapped out of your daze, staring at the suggestive, all too pleased look on White’s face as he leaned in close to you while Red was busy performing his daily workout routine.

“You want to fuck while Not-the-real-Shouto’s busy? He won’t know, I promise.”

You flush.

“No!”

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It was day six of split Shouto when you woke up.

Your eyes stinging with exhaustion as you stared up at the ceiling as bodies of ice and fire sandwiched you between them. They snored softly, breathes deep and full in perfect harmony as they slumbered. You hated Shouto. You hated him so much.

This could have been a fantastic experience in your fantasies. Cloning quirks were a thing, and often you would hear about the sexual endeavors many partook in while in the company of someone with such quirk. It seemed like so much fun. Someone existing solely to be fucked, replicated from someone you already trusted.

It seemed perfect.

But here you were. Living the life of many porn fantasies, but the clones — not clones — hated one another. You couldn’t even so much as breathe next to one of them for too long before the other came to rip you away, annoyed, and ready to reclaim you. They were behaving as if you didn’t already belong to them.

Maybe you could have handled the lack of horny, lusting out of your mind sex if they had simply allowed you to kiss them without starting a war. But they claimed they would rather die than see you kiss someone that wasn’t them (singular them).

So, you were struggling.

The internal struggle only grew when they woke up at the same time. Growing when they both exposed their scarred, perfectly muscled, and toned body. It grew when they pressed their sinful body against yours, and you could only look up at them with eyes like a full moon, heat wet in your panties. You wanted something to happen because watching them go at it again for the fifty-third time today suddenly made your mind snap.

Since they wouldn’t seem to quit fighting, you might as well be fucked while they fought amongst themselves. You were a big girl, you could handle two cocks around your body.

At the moment, you were in the communal kitchen living room area. You sat at the table, trying to enjoy your cup of tea while they stood a few strides away from you�� arguing.

“Would you both put those mouths to better use than fighting with each other?!” you finally snapped, your hands tugging at the roots of your hair after you placed down your cup of tea. They had been fighting for the past hour as to whether or not Shouto’s first costume idea was created because of Red or because of White. 

Neither one of them claimed responsibility on that one funny enough.

They fell silent immediately. Both their eyes wide, brows furrowed, and jaws gaping like a fish as they tried to separate their conversation from what you just said.

“Better use?” Red stated, his blink slow.

A curling, devious smirk spread on White’s face, “Oh, did my love finally cave to being fucked?”

“I didn’t think you would be into cucking,” Red admitted, his own smirk growing on his face while White frowned and glared at him. “What? It’s obvious it would be you tied up, White. You can’t expect y/n to trust either one of us to sit there, so she’d tie us up. My fire would easily destroy the bonds.”

Ah yes, how could you forget that they’d adopted only one half of the one quirk Shouto possessed. Now while you definitely wouldn’t mind cucking both sides of Shouto at some point, that wasn’t what you were craving at the moment.

“Y/n loves ice trailing down her body, I can definitely satisfy her better!”

“Like I said a few days ago, I have the bigger cock, so shut up and watch us.”

They were going to drive you insane.

Standing up from the table, the chair screeching against the floor as you did so, their attention fell on you. You felt heat rushing to your cheeks, your heart fluttering in your chest as turquoise and grey eyes that you could read like nothing gorged into your form. 

You settled between them, feeling dwarfed between their taller, muscled forms. Red was in a white t-shirt and sweats, White in a black shirt and dark jeans. You were unsure as to why you felt so shaken when you pressed your fingers between the valley of their pecs, your tongue heavy in your mouth. You blamed it on the six-day dry-feast the idiots put you in, and the mere thought of finally getting your way was exhilarating. 

“This is what’s going to happen,” you say with no room for arguing, your gaze meeting theirs through your eyelashes. “We are all going to fuck. There’s three of us, and I’m the one who wants to be satisfied, so this will be a threesome. Fuck me any way you want, I don’t care, but whoever starts fighting first gets cucked.”

Red is staring at you with his piercing turquoise eyes, White’s gaze dropped to your tracing finger on his chest. But the consensus was the same.

“Yes, ma’am.”

A warm, fluttery smile breached your face, and you nodded.

“Good… now, fuck me.”

They begin almost immediately. Two initially contradicting forces of fire and ice abandoning their internal surge for power to appease and please you. There’s no stopping the shiver and the moan trapped in your throat when two identical sets of hands you knew and craved the touch of finally made contact with your body. Red’s hands were on your breasts, groping and massaging your mounds of flesh while his mouth pressed tantalizing kisses along the curve of your neck, along the length of your clavicle. 

White had dropped down, his mouth pressing hot, kisses against the flesh of your thighs and your ass. His fingers pushing the sleeping shorts you still wore, his calloused fingers brushing against your clit. 

You openly moaned, hands pressing against both White and Red for some form of support.

“You’re already so wet,” White groans his observation, his finger slicking itself against your wet folds. 

You shake, your head nodding in full understanding as you began to rotate your hips against his finger. Of course, you were so wet, you thought, goosebumps flashing against your entire body when Red pinched your nipples through your light tank. 

“You try living with two of me and be denied every physical need,” you gasped, your voice pitching the moment Red’s teeth sank into the sweet spot on your neck the same time White’s finger curled within your walls. “Fuck…”

“It’s so cute when you whisper like that,” Red noted, his hands lifting your breast, tongue smoothing over your irritated skin. “I bet you didn’t mind our quirk accident because you wanted something like this.”

Now that was definitely something you couldn’t disagree about.

But with the way your body was so desperately deprived and how there were two sources of knowledge on you. Knowing the perfect sensations on your sensitive parts of your body, you pushed them away.

Grey and turquoise blazed into your skin, but you huffed, grabbing them by the hands and pulling on them.

“I want the bed,” you affirm, your cheeks feeling warm, your eyes keeping on theirs. “We’re fucking on the bed.”

“Of course, my love,” they responded together. And the heat in your body seemed to multiple when you pushed through into the room. 

Guiding them into the bedroom, you didn’t release their hands until they were sitting down onto the bed—Red on your right, white on your left.

Their stares are expectant, already clouded with horny, lustful need when you let go of their hands. Before they could ask what was next, you leaned in, opposite hands pressing to each of their crotches, and they both groaned lightly in their chest. You palmed them through their clothes, your cunt throbbing with the fact that you enjoyed watching their hooded, lusting expressions bore into your figure. Biting down onto your lower lip, you stopped a tethering moan from escaping when both their hands grabbed onto your ass.

They fondled the flesh as you continued to palm them, the cock buried within their clothes growing harder and larger with every quick movement of your hand. They both were so hot and dangerously heavy hidden away in the confines of the pants, and you wanted nothing more than to be choking and stuffed full of them both.

But you don’t get your way just yet.

“On the bed,” Red suddenly commands, and you stop a squeak from embarrassingly ripping from your throat. You stumble on the large bed, and both Red and White shift so that there’s enough room for you to be perched between them. Ass on Whites side, face on Red’s, and you feel your body freeze when everything picks up speed.

White’s lips are on the back of your thigh, kissing and nibbling on the sensitive skin while his fingers take up rubbing your cunt again. Your body trembles under his ministrations, hips shifting, and bucking against him as he once again buries his fingers into your blistering core.

But with the moans singing from your lips, you felt transcended. The way that your eyes rolled to the back of your head with each shift of White’s fingers proving that point, you focused in on Red, who had shoved your breasts over the hem of your shirt. You whimpered loudly when his fingers pinched at both nipples, tugging at the pebbled flesh. 

“Such pretty noises,” Red whispered, his nose brushing against yours, and you throbbed with the need to be kissed. “Are you enjoying this?”

“Yes,” you breathed, “Please give me more, more, please.”

Red inhaled sharply, his eyes blazing like blue fire before finally, he crashed his lips against yours, unable to hold back anymore, and you cried in glorious acceptance. You kissed Red back with everything you had. Your lips slick with your joining, mixing saliva while he continued to press bruising, heated kisses to your mouth. Your hands at one point had attached themselves onto his biceps, and you found your fingernails to be digging through his skin, but Red didn’t care.

He continued to play with your hanging, sore tits, his tongue entering the barricade of your mouth as he kissed you again, and again, and again.

His name spilling from your mouth until you froze, your back tightening the second something more was happening behind you.

White’s finger, covered in the slick of your essence, was probing through your ass all while he continued to finger fuck your cunt.

“Aw, you do like it when my finger goes into your ass!” White chirped, his finger pressing further past your tight rim, sending your mind into a flurry of thoughts and feelings at the sensation of being stretched out, while you collapsed onto the mattress. Red abandoned you. “Your ass always looks so fucking hot when it takes in my finger. It’s like it's sucking me back in whenever I try to pull out. So. Fucking. Hot.”

You could do nothing but choke out White’s name the second the finger curled in your ass and the fingers buried in your cunt came together to press between the thin wall separating the two cavities, and you keened at the feeling.

“White!” you yelled, your eyebrows furrowed in your pleasure, your hips bucking back against his hands. “More! I need more!”

It was at that moment his fingers abandoned your holes, but before you could cry at the loss, Red was back in front of you, naked as the day he was born. But his cock was hard, pressed against his stomach, standing tall and erect for you to suck.

“Come on, angel,” Red spoke, tilting your chin up so that he may press another sizzling kiss to your mouth. “Play with my cock.”

Still, on your knees, your back arched, mouth entirely occupied with Red’s mouth, your hand blindly grabbed his cock and began to jerk him off. You kissed him harshly, thoroughly, not wanting to let him go without exploring and feeling every little thing you could offer while you run your hand up and down his length.

You fully moaned into his mouth when his fingers lightly brushed against your neck, showing how sensitive you are. He runs his hand all the way down to your hips and latches onto your ass cheek. You mewl against him, wondering just why he was doing that when something hot and wet pressed against your cunt.

Breaking off the kiss immediately, you turned around to see White’s face buried into your ass, but his tongue was meeting your cunt with every languid lick.

“Shit!” you curse, your hips bucking and moving to better find White’s tongue against your core. But before you could find your spot, his tongue abandons your cunt and presses back against your tight, tight rim.

Trembling, your eyes roll to the back of your head, all while Red reclaims your lips.

Your hand encompassing his cock began to pick up in speed as White seemed to interchange between tongue fucking your ass and cunt. Whimpering needs only resonated from your mouth into Red’s as you jacked him off sloppily, messily at heightened speeds while you begged for more.

It didn’t take long before they both pulled away from you, and you in your heat daze, teared up as you watched both Red and White step onto the floor, their twin, identical cocks out, leaking with precum that called your name. You didn't need to be told what to do at this point as you stumbled out of bed, falling to your knees right between them.

With Red’s cock in your left hand, you pulled him into your mouth, your right hand expertly, yet blindly jerking White off. You pushed your head as far down as it could go along Red’s cock, your eyes trying to keep on his the entire time. 

Relishing in the fact that his cock went unchanged, your tongue swirled around Red’s cock, your head bobbing along his length, and Red smirked down at you, pressing the tears in your eyes away. Pulling away with a string of saliva connecting his head to your lip, you alternated onto White’s cock, your left hand continuing to jerk off Red.

White groaned at the sudden heat, immersing against his length, his hips snapping into your mouth as you took him all the way in. You had been dating Shouto for a few years now. You were definitely capable of taking him in your mouth in one go without trouble. But it just felt so different with one of your hands stroking off Red, and White’s hands grabbing your head while he thrust into you.

Before you could settle on White’s cock, you switched back to Red, who decided to command your every little instruction.

It quickly became a game between Red and White on who could make you choke and moan the loudest as they fucked your mouth and throat mercilessly. You, thankfully, were entirely enjoying it, your soaked pussy rubbing against your tight panties, and you rutted against the fabric trying to relive the building, fast pressure in your core. 

“Fuck,” White snarled when Red had you completely choked against his cock. His cock was shoved as far down your throat as it could manage, and he kept you there. Painful tears falling from your eyes while your throat struggled to remain relaxed despite the burning lack of oxygen. “Keep her there, Red. Don’t let her move.”

Red, who was only entranced by you for quite some time, looked up with amusement at his other half.

“What, you like this?” Red asked a taunt hidden in his voice but was buried under so much more throbbing lust. “You like seeing y/n choking against a cock?”

You whimpered against Red, your throat muscles fluttering and flaring along his length-- what was he planning?

“Who wouldn’t want to see y/n like this,” White breathed, and you shook at the nonverbal agreement that passed between the two of them.

You whined at the unknown, finally being released from Red’s cock, and you spluttered and coughed, drool and saliva drenching your chin while you turned towards White, ready to do the same. But you shrieked, the wind knocking out of you when they both picked you up from the floor and tossing you onto the mattress. You bounced when you landed. 

Both Red and White quickly moved to remove your clothes until you were naked as well, their eyes glimmering with their treaty, a million ideas undoubtedly pouring through their mind. 

White is on you first. He joins you onto the mattress, his lips pressing and languidly moving against yours, and you moan against him.

“We’re going to start fucking you now, baby,” White whispers against your mouth, his thumb running up against your still spit slicked chin. With just his finger alone, he moves you so that you’re on your hands and knees before him, waiting like an obedient pet. Your eyes flutter open, just barely opened so that you could meet his stormy grey eyes while his thumb slips over your bottom lip and into your mouth. “I hope you’re ready to be fucked… Red?” he called, his thumb pressing down on your tongue, instinctively flaring your gag reflex.

“Hm?” Red answered back, and you stilled when something hot and heavy smacked against your ass. 

Once, twice.

“Fuck her right.”

Silence.

You whimpered against White’s thumb, your eyes watering while you studied his determined, playful face. There's a chuckle from behind you, and you shiver at the fact that you could practically smell the knowing smirk on his face.

“Obviously.”

And then it happens.

Red slams his cock into your awaiting, wet pussy with a pleased groan while you lurched forward onto White at the mighty snap of Red’s hips. Naturally so, you screamed Red's name, your pussy singing in absolute love over the fact that he’s buried entirely within you, undoubtedly claiming you once again.

Before you could sing your praises for Red, White’s shut you up by replacing his thumb with his cock, and you’re forced silent.

When they worked against each other, they were annoying, irritating, and often horrifying, but together? Well, as Red’s cock shoved more profound and deeper into your womb, and White’s cock conquested your throat, you hummed with the pleasure they brought. Together they were powerful, commanding, and unbreakable, and if the sounds of your wet pussy and choking mouth were to prove it, it was more than just a fact. 

You struggled to keep up with Red’s slamming hips, the girth of his cock stretching you out in an all too familiar way, and White driving cock that choked you out every time you moved. You felt dizzy with the thumping, tingling pleasure, your hand that held onto White’s hips clutching his skin, while your other one manipulated and circled your clit.

You wanted to cum. You wanted to so badly.

“You sound so hot choking on his cock,” Red laughed, his hand coming down to spank your jiggling ass with a single, powerful thwack. You bristled at the sensation. “Do more, sweetheart, I know you can do more; we’ve experienced you doing more.”

You garbled as White smirked down at you, your eyes just barely open enough to see the knowing look in his eyes.

“Use that little slut mouth of yours better, baby,” White taunted, his hand coming to pat your hollowed cheeks roughly, quickly, in a few stinging slaps. 

This is what you liked, you realized as you pulled away from his length, mouth swallowing his balls with heightened eagerness, your hand rubbing his length as you did so. White moaned your name, his head dropping in his pleasure as you did so. 

It must have done something for Red, too, because his fingers dug into the skin on your waist, his powerful thrusts becoming quicker, shorter thrusts that moved you against his cock with rattling power and craving lust. You whimpered against White’s balls and cried out in pleasure-filled pain the moment Red spanked you again, and again, and again.

Your cunt was fluttering, squeezing, and beating in time to your heartbeat. The pleasure within you grew from a light warmth to a blazing heat. You cried for more, your knees and thighs shaking for more.

More friction, more fucking, more of Shouto.

“Turn around, you little cockslut,” White grinned, removing you from his balls. “It’s my turn to fuck your pretty little cunt.”

Whining, you did as you were told, your limbs feeling like lead as Red smoothed back the hair falling on to your face.

Before you were ready, not that you minded, their cocks reclaimed your holes.

It was different this time.

They fucked you differently, you realized when White enjoyed pulling nearly all the way out before thrusting back into you. His strokes and powerful thrusts send the coil in your stomach to grow tighter and tighter. But Red, fuck, Red had his fingers in your mouth, choking you with them as he slapped your cheek with his cock, his precum mixed with your slick smearing all over your cheek as he did so. 

“I want to make sure that you realize that me putting my cock in your mouth is a blessing,” Red coldly smirked, his eyes blazing with a whole other story. But despite it all, you nodded your head quickly. Altogether agreeing with the claim that you needed to earn his cock in your mouth again. 

“I kno thath,” you whine against his fingers, saliva shamelessly dribbling past your lips, your mouth closing to suck on his fingers. “I promith I’ll apprethciate your giff.”

He could try all he wanted, but Red was whipped for you too.

His cock immediately replaced his fingers, slamming to the depths of your throat, all while the wet noises of your throat and choking voices joined the squelching of your cunt. Your eyes rolled in your pleasure, your cunt thrumming with energy as Red’s hands encircled your throat, choking you while he fucked straight down your throat.

“You looked so pretty earlier when you couldn’t breathe,” Red snarled, his cock twitching in your throat the same time White’s cock twitched in your cunt. “I’m just -- fuck do that again -- trying to get you there… faster… Your throat really feels like your fucking pussy at times, shit.”

You whimper at that comparison as you forcefully clench your throat and cunt around both of your boyfriend's cock. 

But you vibrate when White’s finger traces your rim, his finger not disappearing into your wrinkled muscle, but stimulating it well past teasing. You pull off Red’s cock with a spluttering cough, your eyes burning, but you find White’s gaze immediately. 

“What’s going on, sweetness?” White asked, his eyes glimmering with knowledge of what you want already, but the slick fucker just had to ask.

Too bad you weren’t ashamed of shit around him.

“I want you to fuck my ass,” you moan, your hips slamming back against White’s still shifting cock, your hand clenching one of your asscheeks as you split yourself open for White. “Please fuck my ass.”

“Fuck!” they both seemed to growl, and without so much as a break, White switches from your ass and buries his length slowly into your needy, tight ass.

The pitchy, unstoppable moan from your mouth sends both Red and White into whimpering messes as you collapse onto the mattress, your chest heaving with your heightened stimulus. It was starting to hurt, your lack of orgasm, you just needed a bit more done to cum, and you wanted to.

“Where’s my dick?” White finally growls at you as he bottoms out entirely within you. You tremble at the question, body shaking with every stroke of his cock he makes afterward. “Where is it?”

“I-In my ass!” you wail, your ass clenching around him, trying to make him feel this heated pleasure as strongly as you were. “It’s in m-my ass!”

“Do you love my cock in your ass?” White snarls, his hands gripping your waist and slamming you back onto him, your ass squeezing with the sensation. You can’t speak; your mind is overloaded with feeling and emotion. “Why do I even bother? I know you love my cock in your ass.”

Red comes back into the equation, his hands grabbing your jaw and pressing your mouth against his into a searing kiss. You can hardly kiss him back, your mouth pathetically hanging open as he kisses your teeth, mouth, tongue. So, it shouldn’t shock you that in your near blissful blackout, Red hands your limp arms to White, who holds onto them.

His grasp and hold on your arms elevates you slightly off the bed, your back arched, and breasts exposed as he begins to jackhammer into your ass. You want to scream, you want to shudder and cry your sensations to the world, but Red interrupts once more by pressing his swollen, purpling head into your mouth, silencing you with gags and chokes while they both use you.

They both drive into you with ferocity and power, your body nearly limp and twitching with your ever still denied orgasm that refuses to back down, and the way the lack of oxygen makes you spin as Red’s balls clash against your throat in quick, succinct, patterns.

“Sit down, White,” Red snaps at White, and White, who was ever so entranced at how your ass was swallowing his cock, dumbly nods. “Y/n is about to cum, we need to make sure she cums correctly.”

You whine against Red’s cock, unsure if you heard him correctly when White drops your arms. But instead of falling forward as you thought you would, his relaxed arms wrapped around your waist tightly, bringing you down with him.

Your back was pressed against his chiseled chest. And you moaned at the sensation this angle brought in terms of depth and stretch. Your mouth, freed from Red’s cock, opened in a loud, scratchy moan, undoubtedly raspy from the abuse it went through from the vigorous face fucking.

“R-Red!” you cried, your legs shaking when White hooked his arms under your knees and spreading them out, exposing your wet, slick core to Red, who was merely watching. You shifted pathetically, wanting to have both of them on you, not just one. “Red, please!”

But, White’s hips began to thrust upward, resuming his fucking of your asshole, and you howled in pleasure as he breathed heavily, gasping in your right ear. But as your legs trembled, unsure if White would be able to keep your legs in such position, Red pressed on top of you, his weight keeping your legs spread, and his cock quickly slamming within your cunt.

You had one hand buried in White’s hair, the other slipping behind Red’s back when he pressed onto you. The second their cocks rubbed against each other through the oh so thin wall between your ass and your cunt, you screeched. The hand in White’s hair tugging at his roots harshly, and the hand on Red’s back drawing bloody mountains on his skin.

But this didn’t stop them, the slight pain you gave them doing nothing but making them growl in your ear, making your eyes cross in your oblivion while they continued to fuck you.

Sandwiched between them, your breasts crushed by Red’s chest, and your back buried into White’s chest, White let go of one of your legs that immediately latched around Red’s waist. Your eyes crossed, rolling to the back of your head, your mouth agape, but no noise coming out as every massive, hard thrust sent your soul into a new dimension. White’s hand sneaking between Red’s drilling hips and your cunt to pinch and pull at your clit as you shook like a leaf in a windstorm. You came without realizing it, your walls clenching like a vice against Red’s cock, and your ass clenching around White’s in tandem to your orgasm. Both of them moaning against your salty sweat skin, but neither one of them stopped.

Faster and faster, they thrust into you, gaining such speed and power that you felt akin to a ragdoll as they fucked you. They praised you for taking them both at the same time, senseless names, and wordless praise as you took them without a single wince of pain. You were theirs, they claimed, and they were yours. 

The sounds of their cock drilling into the wet caverns of your cunt and ass, the sticking shivering sound of their balls smacking your ass and cunt.

It was so much, growing to be more and more, until your orgasm was once again growing as you attempted to shift your weak, still trembling hips up and down their length, wanton gasps shrill on your tongue. Your body begging for more.

“Gonna cum,” they whispered together, his deep, raspy voice filling both of your ears, and you wailed as your own orgasm tipped once again.

“Cum in me, please cum in me!” you begged with everything you had.

And with your pleading heavy in the air, they came with you. You moaned at the feeling of the hot, sticky thick ropes of cum filling up both your holes, the cocks spasming uncontrollably within you as their hips continued to ride out their orgasms. Your chest heaves as their snapping hips become rolling thrusts until finally, they stop.

All three of you still joined, all three of you sweaty and tired.

When you pass out, you can barely hear them saying goodbye.

…

…

You wake up, your body sore and bruised around midnight.

You groan, stretching out your neck as you realize that there is no body on top of you or beneath you as that was definitely how you all had fallen asleep a few hours ago. Panic filled you when the bed was empty, and you rushed to your feet, cursing when your knees buckled out from under your weight.

Crashing to the floor, you groaned as you lay there.

“What are you doing on the floor?” an all too familiar voice asked you, and you looked up to see if it was Red or White.

You blinked when instead the once two distinctive heads blurred into one, and you stared at your finally normal boyfriend.

“S-Shouto!” you cried, your body weakly pressing off the floor, your arms stretching to you.

Shouto smiled warmly, softly, the perfect in-between of the facial expressions Red and White would give you.

“I’m back, sorry for scaring you like that,” he whispered as he joined you on the floor, letting your arms wrap him into a firm hug, not wanting to let go as you pathetically began to cry.

The two of you lay naked together on the floor, his soft apologies gathering in your ear as you held him tightly, having missed him entirely.

“Do you remember?” you eventually asked long after Shouto managed to bring you back into the bed. You lay curled into his side, your fingers tracing the marks on his body that you had left on both Red and White. “Do you remember what happened?”

“Yes… and I remember how it all felt too.”

“Ew… perv…”

“Try that again? Ms. ‘I-want-your-cock-in-my-ass’.”

“SHOUTO!”

[everyyoojoonghyuk]

Spoilers for orv. Idk up to where cause I can't remember just don't continue if you haven't finished the novel

Anyway another day another thinking about YJH and how S O F T he is

Especially how 999th regression YJH fits into it

He basically did everything like how KDJ did, except without all the cheats that KDJ was able to nab and literally lost whole parts of his body and couldn't even reach the end himself because he made sure his companions could instead

And it's not like he even particularly tried to reach the end himself that run, it was more of a throwaway. A big whoop-dee-doo for living 1000 lives. Every other life he was selfish and cruel and violent (especially as he goes through more and more regressions). The goal here was to get to the end no matter what - which included seeing his friends die constantly

Despite that, we know that he genuinely cares for the companions that he makes throughout the regressions, he just gets more and more hurt seeing them die and subsequently cheer him on life after life that he detaches himself as much as possible to avoid the hurt. It's like getting a wound over a scar over and over - eventually the re-scarred tissue becomes very tough and unable to move much

I mean. It's a testament on how much he cared for them that he gave up an entire regression just to see them succeed. Even being 1000 lives in, he continued to care for them

And the 999th YJH that we see is the kkoma version. And he's just. So nice. He takes care of KDJ, makes sure he's fed with things he likes, protects him from the outer gods, gives him his coat, goes with him on his journey, and even teaches him how to make murim dumplings! Of course, he's still YJH, being blunt and sorta deadpanned all the time, but the rest of his personality stands out so much because of its uniqueness

But is it really so unique? Again, he's still a part of YJH. This isn't out of the ordinary for YJH wholely, it's just that the guy distanced himself because he knows that no matter what, either his companions will die and he will reach the end, or he will die so they can reach the end, so he doesn't show those parts of himself often. We can see it a LOT more in the regression that KDJ shows up in though because of how much he helps and how he takes the lead in taking care of their companions. He even goes full dad mode on the grill when they go on vacation which is adorable

And not to make everything about joondok but KDJ truly does bring out the softness in him. And that's true for every YJH that meets him. 999 is very nice to him, 666 is tsundere but still helps, 81 (I think) cooks for him, Secretive Plotter, although through kidnapping, still wants him to learn the truth ("and if he can't then ig he should stay here with me UwU 🥺" like we get it buddy this is a small foreshadow to how you will cherish Oldest Dream and spend the rest of your existence caring for him, every YJH loves every KDJ and vice versa WE GET IT) and let's him leave, 1863 YJH is ridiculously soft for KDJ after he learns of his journey thus far and literally dies for him after knowing him for I think 3 days. Of course the top contenders for "I AM SOFT FOR KDJ" is 0th regression and 1864th regression YJH

Like. "If I regress will I ever be able to see you again?" He literally had his happily ever after and choOSE TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO MEET KIM DOKJA INSTEAD. He KNEW what was in store for him but he didn't care!!!!!!! He loves him too much to care!!!!! Though honestly I don't think it was a romantic love at that point or he wouldn't have gotten with Seolhwa because he is a very genuine guy and wouldn't get with someone he wasn't in love with. I think there was a different love though. The best friend kind. The kind that can only come from someone who was by your side no matter what. Yoo Joonghyuk loved that the Demon King of Salvation adored his story and wanted to end the guy's solitude no matter what

Which brings me to 1864 YJH!!!! AKA the one we all know nearest and dearest

It does not take long for YJH to get attacked to KDJ once they finally meet (again). He is so different that by the 6th scenario, when he's fighting adult SYS, she notes that he is acting strange. KDJ himself notes several times during the entirety of ORV that his actions are "unlike him." And almost - if not entirely - every time this is mentioned, it has something to do with how well he treats KDJ

One of my favourite, yet overlooked, aspects of YJH bring soft for KDJ is that he is the only person he will eat food from. He usually only eats meals that he prepares himself because he's stuck up about cooking, but but KDJ! It doesn't happen often, but several times he eats what KDJ makes, including murim dumplings that were made so well he forgot to be stuck up

I'm rambling by now, but my point is that KDJ brings out the best in YJH and the latter is so deeply in love so early on that it's embarrassing and shows to literally everyone everywhere to the point that many people think that they're an item