#it's all I got man y'all are making valid points but I don't have it in me

[kemihaydeestantonva]

Seeing discourse in both my comfort fandoms right now and I have thoughts and criticism of my own

But I'm also like

The state of the world at the moment feels so dire and a direct threat to minority groups and the LGBTQIA+ community

I just don't have the energy in me to discuss my thoughts and feelings about Vivziepop occasionally being problematic with her depiction of queer love and gender nonconformity, nor do I have it in me to nitpick GRRM's frustrating tropes in Dany's chapters, and I genuinely don't know how y'all DO. Like not in an accusatory way, I'm genuinely just like idk how you got it in you right now. I'm exhausted.

[heartavenue]

༉‧₊˚. A Pinkalicious Guide: How To Become A Master Shifter

Disclaimer: I know there are some people on here that do not like the law of assumption (no, I am not being shady it has just come to my attention) so if you do NOT like mentions of the law this post is not for you.

First of all...why was this the most voted? Ya'll have to start trusting yourselves more goodness me! My answer may disappoint but it all comes back down to your assumptions.

Let me tell y'all a little story mm? So we're back in 2021 and young Love is consuming hours upon hours of shifting content. She's listening to people tell her, "You have to put in effort." "You can't do nothing and shift." "You have to use the lucid dream method." "You have to do xyz."

And all of that I did, until I discovered the law and realized that it was all bullshit. I had to stop letting these random people influence my journey. You don't have to put in effort, because shifting is effortless. You can do nothing and shift. You don't have to use any particular method, or a method for any matter. And you damn sure don't have to do anything to "get" you there.

However, with all that being said there is one thing that you make you a master shifter.

"But Love you just said there isn't anything."

And that is still true because there isn't anything except the assumption. Whatever you assume to be true, will be true.

So why not just skip the middle man and go straight to the end? That's it! Live in the end! Creation is fished! How to become a master shifter assume that you are one. However I did say "guide" so I will deliver! Here we go:

1.Take What Resonates

I can not stress this enough do not do something because someone else said that you should. If you don't want to do something then DON'T! Let's take me for example, I hate guided meditations so why on EARTH would I listen to them? I don't like subliminals, so I don't listen to them. It's as simple as that.

2. Stop Overconsuming

I promise you that you know more than what you think you know. You have GOT to trust yourself. When you get done reading this, log off. I am so serious, don't consume anymore content. You know what to do, I already said it twice before but here is it again; assume. You guys voted for this because you don't trust yourself, you would rather me or some other blogger tell you what you already know.

3. Assume, Decide, Be.

You want to know how I became a master shifter? I decided I was. It's that easy, it's that simple. One day I woke up and I thought to myself, "You know what Love, I am tired of other people running MY life. I tired of having to do a different method praying to the universe that it's going to work this time. So instead of doing all of that nonsense, I am just going to decide that I am a master shifter, and I shift everytime I want to without fail.

And that's another thing, failure doesn't exist unless you allow it. Assume you shift everytime you intend to without fail. Decide that you are a master shifter and most importantly be that. There is no point of constantly affirming that you're a master shifter if you are constantly looking for external validation.

I feel like it gets to a point in every shifters journey where you just have to realize that nobody can shift you but you, yes there are people (like me) who are willingly to help you. But at the end of the day to shift that is all you.

Now It's Time For A Horrible Analogy!

Imagine you are a chef right? And you've been making red beans & rice for awhile, once you started you may have needed a recipe right because you didn't know what you were doing. But when you got comfortable, and you started taking matters into your own hands you no longer needed a recipe. Now making that red beans & rice is instinct, it's second nature to you. You know exactly how much water to cook your beans in without measuring it, you know exactly how much of every seasoning to put into your dish. And you know what the kicker is? It comes out perfect everytime.

Be the chef, cook that red beans & rice (damn it now I'm hungry) you know how to make it! You don't need a recipe, you made it yours and it's utter perfection.

Be that master shifter, shift, you know how to do it! You don't need a method (however if that is what resonates with you then be my guest) you made your shifting journey yours and it's utter perfection. The way I may like my red beans & rice may not be the way you like yours, but as long as we are both satisfied with the end result then who cares really?

Let's Wrap It Up Now!

Just assume that you are a master shifter, make that decision, and be that person. Do what YOU want to do, if you don't wanna use methods, then don't. If you love doing the raven method, then do it! This is your recipe as long as it comes out good to you then its perfect!

At the end of the day it all comes back down to your assumptions, you can shift whichever way you assume to go about it. Personally? I embody the state of being a master shifter, I know that I'm in my desired reality, I know it is not seperate from me, and I know that the physical irrelevant.

But that's my recipe, what's yours?

What inspired me to make this was @gh0ul1sh-grimm although they deactivated their account, @luryona posted the screenshots so I'll link the post:

https://www.tumblr.com/luryona/779003731992772608/they-deactivated-their-acc-they-do-think?source=share

I think it's an amazing read so go check it out!

[twilight-good-yall-dumb]

the "Little Things" disrespect ends today 0_0

I NEED y'all to lock in for a moment. I have seen one too many bad faith takes on this song, and I'm over it. SO MANY people say they don't like it because they perceive the song's message as "you're ugly and fat but it's okay because I love you despite that" and I genuinely think that take is so media illiterate! So listen up kids!

In my opinion, most of this misunderstanding comes from the singular lyric: "You still have to squeeze into your jeans. But you're perfect to me" Which I will admit, when isolated, the lyric feels a little condescending, because the word "but" seems to insinuate that having to squeeze into her jeans is an inherently bad thing, or taken further, that if he wasn't in love with her, he would see it as a flaw.

But that's where my comprehension of this take ends. Because within the context of the rest of the song, that singular lyric gains an entirely different perspective. In my personal opinion, the song's message is far more along the lines of "All these things that you tell me you hate about yourself are all just bits and pieces of who you are, and I love you, not in spite of those things, but because of those things, because they make you, you!"

My evidence? Don't worry babe, I've got loads. First of all, as many people know (and many probably resent), this song was written by Ed Sheeran. Now, if you know anything about Ed Sheeran's early music, you know that what makes his lyricism so endearing is that he has an acute sense of the people around him. On his first album especially, there are several songs in which he simply exults in small, seemingly insignificant, details about a woman. My bro Ed understands the inherent romance of being known better than anyone. And I love him for it. So with that context, I think it's pretty easy to imagine Ed writing this song in the same vain. Simply remarking on the little things he notices about a girl that she seems to be insecure about, but that he adores. Simple. Beautiful. Effective.

My other evidence? LITERALLY THE REST OF THE SONG! I mean for fuck's sake, the literal chorus goes:

"I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth But if it's true, it's you It's you, they add up to I'm in love with you And all these little things"

Not only do we get the very clear insistence that the writer loves her AND all of the "little things" but it also tells us, as I said before, that this love isn't in spite of her perceived "flaws", but rather because of them. Because it's all of these things which create the unique individual he fell in love with. I also think the line "I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth" hints that these are traits the writer is wary about bringing up to the girl, because he knows she (and perhaps society) perceives them as flaws, but he dares to voice them because he wants her to see them in a positive light!

I think it's very telling how these "little things" are often brought up by describing her opinion of them:

"I know you never loved the sound of your voice on tape You never want to know how much you weigh" or "I know you've never loved The crinkles by your eyes when you smile You've never loved your stomach or your thighs"

The writer is not assigning his own negative perception to these things, but rather pointing out how it's her who views them as flaws. In the bridge, he even says:

"You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you And you'll never treat yourself right darling, but I want you to"

This lyric confirms to me that this song is not written with the intention of getting her to overlook her "flaws" in favor of his validation. Instead it exclaims, "these things you hate about yourself are in fact the very things that I admire about you and endear me to you. I wish you could see those things in the same way I do. I want you to find validation in yourself." Which, imo, is an incredibly sweet, and even sort of progressive message coming from a man.

I think even the the original lyric I brought up can be explained in a similar way. Rather than him calling her a fatass but claiming he loves her anyway, the writer is bringing up something that she has probably expressed insecurity over: "ugh, i still have to squeeze into my jeans," and he's assuring her that even though she sees that as flaw, he does not, and loves her all the same. Which, again, I think is the entire point of the song. As the chorus explains, he is not voicing these "little things" with the intention of listing her flaws, but rather because he wants to bring attention to the details that he loves about her. He lets them slip, because he specifically wants her to understand that they are not flaws.

Even the title supports this. By calling her insecurities "little things" rather than flaws or imperfections, he inherently takes away any negative connotation. They are simply the little things that make up who she is, that complete her. This is also supported by the fact that some of the details he lists are fairly neutral. The sound of her voice, the way her hand fits in his, her freckles, going to bed with a cup of tea. None of these things carry an inherent negative societal connotation, which I think further emphasizes that a) the little things are not flaws, and b) that some of the insecurities she has wouldn't even be noticed or judged by anyone else. That she is her worse critic.

I've even noticed that in some live performances of the song, Harry specifically changes the lyric to: "You still have to squeeze into your jeans. And you're perfect to me." Probably because he wanted to assert that this songs implies the exact opposite of what so many of you insist it does!

I genuinely think people either internalized that singular line and that turned them off of the song forever or they just have a prejudice towards Ed Sheeran and chose to hate the song because he's the one who wrote it (rude). Which, if the reason you don't like Little Things is because you find it too sappy or because you don't like the melody, then whatever. And maybe this take started as a joke, but I've seen so many people reiterate it at this point, that it feels genuinely defaming to my poor baby Little Things. But if you're being serious, DON'T try and tell me this song is anything but a sweet and empowering anthem because I will fight you.

If any of their songs deserve this brand of ire, it should honestly be What Makes You Beautiful, because while this song says "you're insecure and you shouldn't be," WMYB quite literally says "you're insecure and that's what i like about you." Now THAT is a problematic message. But nooooooo the sappy one Ed Sheeran wrote is the real enemy. Sure.

[consumedbyfeels]

I just love how i see all this hate towards Tommy Kinard one of the most loyal, kind, genuine, and good people. Instead of towards Gerrard who is playing prejudice bingo and winning. This man is a bigot in all the ways you can be but we don't hate him. No we hate Tommy who is one of the most genuinely good people ever. Please make it make sense. Point your hate is a valid direction please.

I've seen people hate more on Tommy than Margaret and Philip Buckley. I know they got a redemption arc but they deserve some hate as well. I would argue they were forgiven to easily but that's me.

Hate Councilwoman Ortiz for taking Mara away from Hen and Karen and revoking there foster licence.

Hate Ramon and Helena Diaz for instead of calling Eddie just jumping on a plane and then proceeding to take his son with them. Granted in was what Chris wanted but I wonder if given time to calm down and without the Diaz's there he would have decided to stay. Maybe Buck could have talked his feeling through with him and he might have changed him mind if he wasn't thinking about thing so emotionally fuelled and impulsively, granted his is a teenager and that's kinda what they do, so maybe not.

Point is hate someone who deserves to be hated not Tommy who does not deserve it.

Most of the hate towards Tommy isn't even about Tommy anyway. It's the toxic Buddie shippers who hate that Buck has a boyfriend who is not Eddie. I'm not saying all Buddie shippers are toxic cuz some of y'all are fine but the ones who are loudest on my dash are fucking toxic.

There is absolutely nothing to hate Tommy Kinard for. And Buck and Eddie are just friends, Eddie is straight. Ryan has said that Eddie is Hetrosexual and there is nothing to indicate otherwise in cannon. Buck is dating Tommy and thriving. Eddie is happy for them. You are seriously going to have a problem with the first relationship Buck has ever had that is genuinely good just because it's a guy who isn't Eddie. Come on people enjoy your ship that's fine. But don't be a dick about ours.

And please remember to tag your anti tommy kinard posts with #antitommykinard. Blocking the tag only helps if people use it.

[chilewithcarnage]

oh finally making that post on lore olympus and rachel smythe's supposed 'decline in art style' before I forget about it .

so in the original post, the blogger jokingly edited this tweet in reference to the original tweet on the right made by infamous ex-tumblr fan artist rcdarts. my problems with this post stems from in my opinion an unwarranted comparison and kind of 'grasping at straws' type of complaint to the way lore olympus' art looks. op of the post makes it seem like Smythe's art devolved; but if this is the type of critique you're trying to make it's got pretty weak legs to stand on. the above pictures are not good examples if you're trying to have a valid argument that lore olympus' proto art is better than how the comic ended up looking. you can argue that the character designs of the series are boring and safe considering they're based off of Greek gods as opposed to say the art in the supergiant Hades series. That's all well and good but to say that legitimately that first picture with gray Hades and orange Persephone is 'better' than the second feels disingenuous. From a technical standpoint, the art of the second image is better. The art in the first picture while decently drawn is much flatter and dull than the second. Second pic is definitely more visually interesting and has better usage of its colors/painting style. Though the palette is limited there's still visual depth and volume to it. Design wise I get a much better read of who these characters are and what they're like. Also second pic Hades and Persephone are much better proportioned than the first. Albeit it first pic looks like a wip, Hades' head looks huge in comparison to Persephone's (her torso also looks like it's kind of just floating over his, the limited composition and coloring doesn't make it feel like these two are actually touching/interacting with each other). I think a lot of the smoke lore olympus got (and still gets) is due to the main characters looking like a stereotypical 'booktok' romance couple; Hades being a tall sharp featured fit man in a suit and Persephone being a big bright eyed button nosed Disney princess esque young woman. But the first pic doesn't even divert from those tropes. It's pretty much the same visual dynamic except Hades gives less sugar daddy/mafia boss and more academic(?) shut in. And Persephone's is face is less rounded and her hairs shorter but that's about it in terms of design differences. I've never read lore olympus and don't plan to so I can't give any actual criticism to the series, but in this specific case where we're just judging art and visuals the claim of the older art being 'better' seems unfounded. I think what a lot of people that rag on how the series looks hate it because Smythe's style is very much a product of when she started getting popular. It's very much that early to mid 2010s tumblr fantasy style that a lot of women artists were doing (hence why I feel low-key why this and also Steven universe had/has so many haters is mainly due to misogyny, this is a very feminine art style). y'all need to understand that a person developing a more simplistic style is not equal to their skill devolving. The comparison to rcdarts to me is unjustified cause rcdarts actually did change for the worst. like how I just said simpler style =/= worst art, but rcd's work not only got simple but less visually interesting, less dynamic, utilized more static and dull posing/coloring, and over exaggeration to the point where characters were unrecognizable.

[rems-writing]

I got you

Pairing: kitsune!Wooyoung × owner!oc

Summary: Y'all this is my first time writing a hybrid fic. Bare with me 😭💀🗿🧍🏻‍♀️

Warning(s): the return of Ajax, Wooyoung's heat is intense, cumming inside (DO NOT DO THIS UNPROTECTED), tail pulling (Woo's into that shit), pillow humping, messy blowjobs, daddy kink, body worshipping, hair pulling, riding

Genre: Smut with plot

Nets: @mirohs-aurora-society

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Wooyoung watched as his friends were getting adopted one by one. He was happy for them, yet he was also sad since no one wanted him. As he curled his knees up to his chest, he heard the bell chime and another man enter the shop. His heart started beating wildly and he swore he fell in love.

He was tall, lean with a bit of broadness, had his black hair all messed up, and had his sleeves rolled up so Wooyoung could see the half sleeve on one of his forearms.

His tails started wagging as he stared at the ink on his arm.

The receptionist guided the man through the various hybrids still available and of course, Wooyoung was glossed over once again. It wasn't new to Wooyoung, but it still hurt. Before the receptionist could speak some more, the man spoke up.

"What about him?"

Wooyoung's heartrate accelerated as the man pointed to him. His ears perked up as he sat up straight.

"Um... I wouldn't recommend him, sir."

"And why is that? Huh?"

Wooyoung flinched when the man spoke harshly. He knew the anger wasn't directed towards him yet he couldn't help but feel scared.

"Because he's dangerous."

"I can be dangerous if you don't give me a valid reason."

"Sir -"

"My patience is wearing thin."

"He's a kitsune!"

A silence fills the air and Wooyoung felt his throat tighten as the man turned slowly to him.

"Hey you. Shift into your animal form."

Wooyoung obeyed immediately and shifted into his animal form. The man's breath hitched upon seeing the kitsune. His nine tails were spread out, his ears twitched, and his alluring red eyes stared at him with curiosity. He shifted back into a human and awaited the verdict.

"I want him. Final answer."

The receptionist bowed her head and walked over to the register to ring him up.

Minutes later, Wooyoung was standing in front of the man with a bag in his hands and big sparkling eyes.

"Are you adopting me, sir?"

The man's face softened and he smiled at the young kitsune as he nodded.

"Yup."

Wooyoung surged forward and hugged him tightly. The man returned the hug and kissed the side of his head.

"I'm Jung Wooyoung! Nice to meet you, sir!"

"Nice to meet you too. I'm Ajax."

---------------------------------------------------

That was three months ago.

Within those three months, Wooyoung has never felt more at home. Sure, Ajax was strict sometimes, but he wasn't like this every day. Wooyoung quickly learned that it was called 'tough love', and he was ok with it. Sometimes, the kitsune could be a little too cheeky for his own good so he was glad to have someone like Ajax humble and discipline him whenever he can.

Today was a cold day. The wind was blowing harshly, making some of the trees sway. People were holding onto their scarves and beanies as they all tried to rush home. The clouds were darkening, indicating that rain would come soon.

That didn't matter to Wooyoung though since he was sweating horribly and he was rutting against a pillow on the couch.

Quiet whimpers left his mouth as he moved his hips erratically. Those whimpers soon turn into moans that were getting louder and louder by the second. He was crying due to the unbearable pain and his body was growing warmer. He was so lost in his desperation that he didn't notice his owner coming home.

When Ajax closed the door behind him, he was immediately hit with the smell of dahlias and blood oranges. He dropped his suitcase on the floor, loosened his tie, took off his blazer, and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his dress shirt before walking over to his precious kitsune. He knelt down and brought the distraught hybrid's face closer to his so he could leave a searing kiss on his lips.

Wooyoung moaned out of relief into Ajax's mouth and shoved his tongue down his owner's throat as he tried to pull him closer. His strength caused Ajax to stand up slightly and fall on top of the kitsune. His tails wrapped around the owner's body and he pulled away to get a good look at him.

"D-Daddy..."

"Yeah? What do you need, baby?"

Wooyoung never called Ajax daddy unless it was during his heat.

"Need you... please~"

"Shh. I got you."

Wooyoung sighed in relief when Ajax kissed downwards starting from neck all the way down to his fully erected cock, which was poking through his boxers painfully. The kitsune giggled when his owner left light kisses all over his tummy. Those giggles soon turned into moans when Ajax palmed him through his boxers and yanked them down with ease.

"You know the drill, baby."

Wooyoung nodded and discarded his shirt and adjusted himself so he was laying down on his back. Ajax slowly grabbed the hybrid's cock and stroked him slowly as his lips lightly touched the base of it before slowly dragging them all the way to the tip.

"Please, daddy... please!"

Wooyoung yelped when he felt a smack on his inner thigh and a harsh tug on one of his tails. This caused a stream of slick to leak out of his hole and he felt himself blush out of embarrassment. Ajax simply chuckled.

"That ain't nothing to be ashamed of, baby. I told you that I got you."

Wooyoung sighed dreamily at the reassurance and watched with bated breath as Ajax slowly took him into his mouth slowly. He was left breathless as Ajax moved his head up and down slowly, his mouth open wide to elicit an occasional moan or whine whenever his tip hit the back of Ajax's throat.

He was glad Ajax was blessed with no gag reflex.

Wooyoung whimpered yet tried hard not to thrash around when Ajax took him in deeper and inserted a couple of fingers into his leaking hole. He looked up to see Ajax leave a strand of saliva on his cock whenever his owner needed to breathe for a bit before sinking his mouth back down.

Wooyoung grabbed Ajax's thick hair and tugged on it a bit, to which Ajax moaned at since he loved it whenever his kitsune had his hands in his hair. This caused him to go even faster and Wooyoung's moans rose in volume.

"Cumming! I'M CUMMING!"

Wooyoung vocalized his warning and Ajax merely smirked before going faster and faster so the kitsune can shoot his load down the man's throat. Wooyoung's mouth was still wide open when he felt himself release into his owner's mouth. Ajax swallowed everything and release Wooyoung's cock from his mouth before crawling upwards and kissing him straight on the lips again.

Wooyoung kissed him back and frantically tore off Ajax's tie before moving on to the rest of the buttons on his dresse shirt. He drooled at the sight of Ajax's bare upper body as the shirt was shrugged off. He reached for his belt and loosened that up before going over to his slacks and pulling down the zipper so he could whip out his owner's cock. Ajax laughed smoothly before grabbing Wooyoung's hands and pinning them above his head, to which he whined at.

"Daddy~"

"Have patience, baby."

Ajax adjusted both of their positions so he was sitting up and Wooyoung was straddling him after his slacks were pushed off and discarded.

"Ride me as much as you want. I got you."

Wooyoung nodded obediently and adjusted himself so he could sink down onto Ajax's massive dick. Wooyoung threw his head back and a high pitched moaned escaped his lips as he felt Ajax bottom out. He never felt so full even though they have fucked each other outside of the hybrid's heat.

Wooyoung soon started moving and both of them moaned when he moved up slowly and went back down quickly. The kitsune was moving at a medium pace yet Ajax was having none of it. He tugged on another one of his tails and Wooyoung hissed at the feeling. He got the silent message and willed himself to move faster.

"Fuck. I love you so much, Wooyoung. You're my precious kitsune. Fuck whoever always looked past you. You're mine. You're forever mine."

Wooyoung didn't respond properly to Ajax's heartfelt words as he felt his owner's lips kiss everywhere on his body. Ajax made sure he mapped out every inch of skin on his beautiful body. He wasn't one to leave marks yet he couldn't help but leave so many love bites and hickies all over the expanses of his tanned skin. As a result, Wooyoung brought Ajax closer to him. He wrapped his arms around his owner's neck, tangling his fingers into his hair once more. Ajax wrapped his own arms around the hybrid's waist and helped him bounce on his dick since the hybrid was growing tired. Chants of Ajax's name left Wooyoung's mouth and the man groaned in his ear.

"Fuck I'm cumming!"

"Cum inside! Daddy, please!"

"Fuck ok. I'm cumming. Shit!"

With one final thrust, Ajax emptied himself inside Wooyoung. He didn't stop until he was sure that everything was released. He slowly pulled out and chuckled when Wooyoung went limp and press all of his body weight onto him.

"Come on, Woo. Let's get you into a bath."

"Join me, J."

Wooyoung pouted and Ajax kissed his pouty lips before carrying his baby in his arms and walking into the bathroom so they could bathe together.

[sacred-coffin]

Rubbing my grubby little hands together. It's time to bipolar Terzo.

And, one thing for the record, I'm bipolar! So I know what I'm talking about and I'm projecting a little and that's valid

I tried to rewrite my bullet points from my google doc to sound... nicer and more professional, but it didn't feel right. So y'all are getting the raw unfiltered version from when I infodumped about this in a discord chat, hope you like it :)

ONE . He has big overarching aspirations, but also mad depressive episodes. These get in the way of him completing his goals and also make things fuzzy along the way.

He's got this big city, big social change, all of these huge goals and life paths he wants to follow. And there are times where he's really set and driven on working on it! Especially when people are egging him on, like when he was a cardinal. I imagine he had a lot of sustained manic or hypomanic episodes while he was a cardinal.

Being very dead set on a goal, possibly losing sleep over it, putting all of your time and effort on it...Also however you want to interpret the cream pies comment (sexual or food) it both lines up with something a manic person would do. SO.

I think once he's in the ministry again / papa his depressive episodes started getting harder & his manic episodes more. Erratic.

He had less people pushing & supporting him towards his goals / what he was really passionate about, so he was just . Really bitter and pulled away from people. You see a lot more of his irritable and generally temperamental side come out during this time bc like. When he has manic episodes he has so much energy to use up but nowhere for it to go! Sometimes being really angry with something can trigger a manic episode, and I think he might be prone to doing things really excessive/extreme all of a sudden to spite people. If that makes sense. Like the decision to ditch the papa robes, things like that.

Also iirc, when he was a cardinal he was really over indulgent. That is very common for manic episodes; it's very common to  develop substance abuse issues as well. I think he could be a borderline alcoholic, but he's pretty good at hiding it. Definitely better at hiding it than when he was younger, but the habit is worse when he's older

I kinda wanna talk about Terzo possibly being like, a pretty angry person. And this is definitely projection LMAO. He very much presents himself as a guy who probably doesn't have angry outbursts and such, but I think that. Well. If he's bipolar that is NOT true ok. When I thought about this the first time I was like "would he punch walls? No. His mom raised him better than that. But God does he want to break stuff"

I feel like part of his reclusiveness is to keep up this image he has to everyone-- you can't judge him or form an opinion of him in his off time if you don't see it. So you don't see him getting drunk, you don't see him being depressed, you don't see him getting mad, but god it is happening all the time

I just feel like, like, you could argue he has this sudden shift in personality at a certain point. Or maybe at multiple points. In regards to how he felt about his goals at least. Esp bc I resonate so hard with the thought that he didn't want to be the machine-man (from Metropolis, 1927), but he had to, and I feel like being bipolar explains that so so well. Facing adversity he'd get so pissed about it, but he would only let that stop him for a little bit. But he'd also wouldn't be able to make the kind of progress he did before (like drawing up blueprints or plans) because he doesn't have that same well of outside energy & support to tap into

God also. He is so delusional. He is so so so delusional.

I think being Papa ruined his mind .

No offense but like. His goals are impossible. He's chasing them so hard anyways. He's insane. Like. Like.

I don't know I can only compare this in my mind rn to my mom looking at me when I was like, 5 years old or something and telling me she was going to become an archeologist and move to Egypt. Like she was so so sure of herself that it was going to happen. Obviously it fuckin didn't,

Also also. I feel like he's not diagnosed bc I feel like it's more likely to be missed in men. Also I want to give him migraines even though it's less common in men but slightly more common with people who are bipolar and also bc it is GENUINE projection but I think the idea of Omega walking in and seeing Terzo hidden in a bundle of blankets with all the lights off like "is this a depression cocoon or a migraine cocoon" and Terzo just kinda shifts the blanket around and you see him wearing this funny as fuck eye mask. And Omega is like "migraine cocoon, got it" and just fucking leaves

Did he shave his head once and regret it? Yes. Did he get addicted to cocaine? Probably. Did he spend all of his money on model city pieces? At least twice.

I think in the end it's entirely possible he bought into everyone's ideas that maybe he is the one who should be worshiped

I feel like a lot of manic episodes & things can be so warped by the people you surround yourself with and like. Idk. Being the face of a devil worshiping cult can give a normal guy a God complex.

But a guy who's already prone to delusion and God complex??? Oh honey he's FUCKED.

[soul-wanderer]

Alright, buckle up y'all, because my neurodivergent ass decided that it's simply too hard to keep up with all the unresolved questions and mysteries on Yellowjackets, so here's an uncompleted list, in an attempt to keep up with everything we do not know (yet), including some that don't feel like we got a definite answer (no chronological order, sorry):

I'll start off with the most popular "Who is pit girl?", even though I personally think it doesn't matter who she is, but it's still unresolved

Why did the plane crash? Was Lottie's dad somehow involved?

Why haven't they been found for so long? Especially with the long ass cabin fire?

What's up with the river and the animals acting weird?

Who is cabin daddy and what happened to him? What about cabin daughter?

What's with the symbol?

What's up with the tunnels? And my personal fave: Why is the entrance to those a fucking tree? To me that kind of defeats the mining theory, but I digress

Are the YJs hallucinating? Is it supernatural? What is going on? Though this only half counts because I do not expect an answer to this, at least not until the finale season

What's up with Lottie being very clearly clairvoyant?

Other Tai - what the heck is going on with Tai? And what's with the dirt eating? And dog killing?

Who or what is the no eyed man about? How does the ice cream shop play into that?

Maybe I missed that one, but what's up with Shauna (and Jackie?) and those rabbits/bunnies? And the bunny killing?

Who set the cabin on fire? I don't care about that either, but still

What did Travis see? Why was he in contact with Lottie? Why did he give Lottie his bank account info?

What did Lottie see in Callie? Why did she give her the necklace?

What's up with the tape Callie found?

Who is Shauna's mysterious stalker?

What's up with Adam? Why did he have the book about the Yellowjackets? Why the weird portrait of...Shauna? He clearly was up to something before his untimely demise

How are they ultimately found? Which is also one of the valid non-answers

Is there a deeper connection/meaning to Lisa?

What are Melissa's motives?

Why did Lottie retrieve so much cash? Who was she trying to apologize to? Why did she stay at her father's place?

What did Lottie do in that weird ass staircase that's meant for staff? How did the candles get there? Who did she meet there?

What was Mr Matthews trying to cover up at the police station?

What is Walter up to? Dude is a little too whack-a-doodle to be innocent

Unofficial theory: Were the blackmailing postcards not actually part of Jeff's blackmailing but from someone else?

How many survivors were there really? Did they leave someone behind? Did the group split up at some point?

What's up with the map Ben made? Was there anything to it?

Where do they suddenly get those domesticated animals from? Why are they suddenly pros at homesteading? Is spring time just a collective hallucination?

Completely irrelevant but personal question: Why did these dumbasses decide to grill Van before making sure she was actually dead? Like what the heck?

I'm sure I forgot plenty, plus I ignored some questions that I consider to be minor/not as relevant to the plot (like "does Simone know Tai is having an affair?" and "What's up with Van's cancer?"), so feel free to add to this list!

bonus question: was Mari, indeed, too sexy for this cave?

[imaginespazzi]

You know when a fish is like flopping around when it’s on land?? Bro idk why but I had that reaction so many times while reading chapter 14 😭😭

I was screaming crying and throwing upppp (I literally was screaming into my pillow, but it was one of those inaudible screams of that makes sense LMAO). But anyways! Chapter 14 thoughts below!

- the moment we were all waiting for 😭 the proposal scene/P+A breakup scene 😭 i think your reasoning for Azzi not wanting to get married it’s SOOOO valid. As we know, irl Azzi admires P and is so happy for her and this all in fiction in this story, but I can def see how GH! Azzi can be worried about her identity (considering how much she overthinks in this story!). And fuckkkk, the moment of realization for Paige when she realizes that Azzi doesn’t want them to be public, that killeddd me and made me think about all of the times throughout the story that Paige questioned why Azzi didn’t want to be seen and loved by her. Paige is just a lover girl man and just wants to show Azzi off to world and say that’s my girl my girl my girl 😭😭

- Azzi knowing for 3 months that she didn’t see the future that her and P planned and not telling Paige right away is diabolical tho 💀 tbf, I know Azzi was scared and couldn’t even truly process what she was feeling, but damn, a little chat earlier on could’ve gone a long way LMAO

- I can’t imagine KK and Ice’s reaction after Paige came in crying and angry and hot asf. Like I know they thought their parents were gonna get married and ride off into the sunset… little did they know 😭

- Stephie figuring P+A out before Azzi could even tell her 😭 Stephie-bean is so smart just like her mama! And then Paige being sad/worried that Stephie found out about them… Ughhhh, I’m so glad that Azzi explicitly said that she didn’t want to hide Paige and their relationship to anyone. Like I know that was important for Paige to hear and help with her insecurities!

- I remember being slightly pissed at Paige for taking all of this time to figure out if she should stay or not, considering that Azzi needed time and Paige didn’t give it to her. But I mean, in this case, 2 wrongs make a right? (The 2 wrongs being that Azzi suggested for them to end things and Paige taking 5ever to say that she’d stay. And the 1 right being that they’re happily together now LMAO)

- This chapter was absolutely spectacular Nivi!! I knew you wanted this chapter to be PERFECT and was slightly nervous about it… but you 100% ate and nailed the chapter 👏 literally GH is going to live rent free in my head for a while 😭 I’m gonna be able to quote shit from this chapter especially lmaoooo

- PS: I have to remind myself this is fiction, but it got too close to reality when Paige got drafted by the Wings irl 💀💀 but I know this is all def fiction bc no way would Azzi actually not believe she doesn’t have an identity bc she is sooooo her. Like that’s Azzi mofo Fudd. And also, no way would Paige let Azzi end things like that, and no wayyyy would Paige leave the next day and not fight for them and wake Azzi tfff up lol

I literally just imagined a fish flopping and have been giggling instead of replying to this for the last two minutes lmao

- Y'all don't know how stressed I have been about finding the reasoning behind their breakup like there was genuinely a point where I was gonna leave it up to y'all to figure out. But eventually, I think Azzi's reasoning for how she felt and Paige's reasoning for how that made her feel, both ended up being pretty valid.

- Yeah so that's one of the parts I felt was a little bit OOC because I'd like to think Pazzi irl are better communicators and Azzi would not be hiding such a big feelings from Paige because she really fucked up with that part. A little communication can and would have gone a long way.

- KK and Ice who'd literally bought expensive as fuck champagne to celebrate only for Paige to burst into the apartment Azzi-less and crying while she haphazardly packed her suitcase #truechildrenofdivorce

- A lot of my writing is very go of the flow, but what Azzi was gonna say has been written in my head since I figured out what the breakup was because for them to move forward with no hesitations, her being ready to tell everyone is very important.

- LMFAO they're dumb gays who needa make some dumbass decisions before they get happily ever after I guess

-- Y'all listen we should all know this fic is definitely not canon because let's be real a fic where Ice fucking Brady is WNBA draftee that actually sticks on a roster...well it's gotta be fiction lol

[tillwehavefaces]

I have literally never posted about Buddie before, but I want to add my two cents to the whole Buck/Tommy debate. I know there are mixed feelings and both sides have valid points, but to those who were expecting a Buddie kiss this soon - I don't get it?

Ever since I found out abc had picked up 911, I was and remain cautiously hopeful for Buddie endgame - in fact, the kiss makes me far more hopeful than I was a week ago. Because the truth is that if they'd gone straight for Buddie, it would have been bad storytelling. Offensively bad storytelling.

Hear me out. I agree with y'all that the storytelling that's happened up until now makes it clear that Buddie are in love with each other. I also happen to think that the storytelling that's happened up until now makes it clear that neither of these himbos have any clue that they're in love with each other, or that they even could fall in love with a man.

And it's not for lack of opportunity, if the writers had wanted to go that way, obviously! There's was Buck's reaction to Eddie being stuck in the well and Eddie making Buck Christopher's guardian in his will and both of them almost dying and Eddie having a literal breakdown over all the trauma he's repressed and they've both been to therapy and they've both broken up with women who were all wrong for them ... I could go on and on.

But not only did the writers not take any of these opportunities to make at least one of them realize their feelings for the other might not be platonic (certainly, no explicit indication on screen), but because fox was so afraid of losing viewers if they made both their supposedly straight male firefighters queer, they doubled down on Eddie and Buck seeing their relationship as platonic. Every time one of them went through some kind of life-changing experience and questioned deeply held beliefs about themselves yet never questioned their sexuality, it made it seem less and less likely that *anything* would make them realize they might be queer and in love with their best friend.

Honestly, I think if abc had gotten the show at a different point, they might have been able to go straight into Buddie. For example, a season earlier? Eddie's just gotten through a ton of trauma with the help of a therapist and is returning to the 118, and it would've been easy to write a storyline where he's realized his feelings for Buck and tries to do something about it. Or maybe right after Buck's near-death experience. But they both got through those traumas and started dating new women, as oblivious to the love right in front of them as ever. And that's how S6 ended.

So I don't think there's anything abc could have done to convince me that either one of them suddenly realizes how they feel without something happening. If that Buck/Tommy kiss had instead been a Buddie kiss, I would have loved it, but I wouldn't have really believed it. It wouldn't have felt genuine.

Excuse my nerdy science brain, but it's like inertia - Buck and Eddie have both been going in one direction for so long (the 'we're straight best friends!' direction) that it's going to take some kind of force to knock them off that path. It can't be near death experiences, cause they've both been there and it hasn't worked. It can't be finding new girlfriends or breaking up with said girlfriends. No, it's gotta be something really obvious.

That force is Tommy. A canon gay character who recognizes Buck as queer even when Buck doesn't recognize himself as queer. Who (unknowingly) forces Buck to confront that part of himself by kissing him, which will in turn force Eddie to confront his feelings and reaction to seeing his best friend and co-parent now dating a man. I can't say for sure that Buddie is coming, but I honestly think this (not Tommy specifically, but a queer man who is outside the whole Buddie situation) is the only way to tell this story in a way that makes it feel true to life, given the mess that fox created.

[yakuzabrainrotlive]

I have started Like A Dragon! I've actually already made it to chapter 5.

Why hadn't I made a post already, then?

Well, there's no sugar-coated way to put this so... let's just rip off the bandaid now.

I haven't really enjoyed myself playing this game this far. Yet. Maybe I will at some point. But for now I honestly just haven't had much to say in terms of what's happened in the plot besides the beginning. I don't hate the game, it's just that it hasn't been able to really hook me in yet.

I'll keep going since I've heard this game is one of the generally more loved ones in the franchise. And I know RGG loves its slow burn.

I hate to be a Negative Nancy, but I wanna be totally honest. I doubt y'all would want me to lie about how I feel about the game.

More about all that right at the end of the post. I will list my positives and negatives when it comes to this game (and talk about the battle system) down there.

I know this type of thing is common in RPGs, but I like it all the same. Neat little game mechanic. There's quite a few different ones here, but it's cool.

An interesting background for a main character. Yeah, being an orphan is more than common. But being raised by the employess in a soapland and the townsfolk around him? That's really out there - in a good way.

This was very sad. Ichi lost 15 years of his life to the joint and got nothing in return. The shock and disappointment on his face when he was released and there was just. No one waiting for him.

And after that, all that awaited him was just... betrayal. That's just brutal. I fully understand why Ichiban went into Total Denial Mode for a while; it must have been a totally incomprehensible and shocking situation.

-He got out of prison after 15 years and where he expected to find his family waiting for him, he found nobody. AND he suddenly had the freedom of choosing what to do, when to do it and where to go after 15 years. That can be scary.

-He witnessed how much the world and general society had changed in his absence and probably felt very confused.

-He saw his home totally wrecked and abandoned.

And now his mentor and beloved patriarch, the one who saved his life. The man he would have happily been ready to die for at any moment. That man had changed completely and acted like he didn't know Ichiban.

Yeah... the denial, frustration and desperation are totally valid.

Oh dear. Well, Kiryu wasn't there anymore, the Tojo upper brass kept changing and there was constant conflict within the clan itself. It was just a matter of time before Omi would take advantage of the situation.

I hope Majima and Daigo are okay. Or at least alive ;-;

*Faint sounds of Majima cackling in the distance*

Oops. Majima better hope Ichi doesn't find out who the driver was lmao. I feel bad for Ichiban, but I also love how this single random idea of Majima's still has these consequences that are brought up, even after all this time.

God bless Nanba. He's a sweetheart. That's all I can say about him. I also kinda like Adachi. I'm not attached to these side characters yet, but they're neat. I think they'll grow on me eventually, it's just that I tend to be slow when it comes to becoming attached to new characters.

Legends say that if you pull this bat out, Shinada will appear in front of you and ask for some money....

I did play through the whole soapland thing and then some. I don't have much to say 😭. We do have a woman fighting with us, finally after all this time! #Girlboss

I would honestly happily die for Nancy. No questions asked.

OKAY UHH POSITIVES AND NEGATIVES.

Positives:

-Ichiban

-Interesting premise

-The different jobs satisfy my hyper-optimizing, excel-sheet-making, micromanaging self

-Funny enemy titles like "Piss Wizard"

-Free full heal spots my beloveds❤️

-Voice acting (in the Japanese dub at least) is excellent

-Substories have been fun!

Negatives:

-EXP yield is... not optimal; grinding takes FOREVER unless you go fight higher-level people than yourself, but then the battles can take ages. Job exp grinding especially feels about as pleasant as pulling teeth.

Am I supposed to grind in this game?? I've started to wonder about that since it's such a slow process. I have absolutely no idea. Have I missed a thing that helps exp gain??

-Unless you get lucky with the ability to find treasure, money yield can be tight at times, too. Which is rough, considering the cost of gear with 4 team members (and probably backup members later).

-The premise is cool, but the stuff I've played through in terms of the plot after leaving Kamurocho hasn't been very interesting to me this far (early-to-mid chapter 5) :/

-Substories don't give you EXP 😭

How about the elephant in the room - the battle system?

Well. I'll come out with it straight away; I'm very, VERY picky when it comes to turn-based combat. Shin Megami Tensei and Persona have unfortunately spoiled me too much, so this game had some unfairly MASSIVE boots to fill. And it didn't quite fill them. My bar is way too high and I acknowledge that 100%.

I get that they didn't want to make the system completely "passive" by just having to select moves and it all going smoothly from here. But I dislike the timing-based quick time stuff in the middle of attacks and perfect guard. I can pull off the attack dmg boost thing most of the time, but perfect guard is just... it feels way more difficult to pull off than Tiger Drop in any previous game. It's very frustrating. I frankly feel stupid, having this difficult a time with it.

Grinding is further hindered by spread moves being kind of unreliable - if the enemies are spread out, you're only hitting a single foe. For now. Maybe there will be better moves later on.

Idk if it's just me, but characters' MP pools feel very limited compared to the cost of the moves combined with how little damage you do at times? Maybe it's just the fact that I'm in the earlier parts of the game, but I feel like I have to be replenishing MP constantly.

I like how all the different types of gear can have additional special effects. It's neat.

All in all the battle system feels... very laborius. I can work with it! Absolutely. I'm just not the biggest fan.

God, I wish I could just gush about this game and sing its praises, but that's not happening yet by a long shot. This far? Maybe a 6-6.5/10. I hope my opinion changes for the better as I progress; I really wanna love it as much as other fans seem to.

[cr1mson5returns]

my fav version of tim drake is similar to the post of yours that made me follow you

my fav tim drake is that time he got an uncle to avoid adoption taken to the extreme. hes never been robin, not a bat, but he does follow them on patrol taking pics and occasionally intervening and they cant quite manage to stop him. hes dick grayson's nemesis because he no matter where he is, all he can think about is finally getting that kid to sit down and eat a proper meal and take a nap. jason comes back from the dead and tim has been deterring batman from violence with a squirt gun instead of a robin and jason almost hates him more for it. damian thinks he is an excellent operative, held in high esteem by his grandfather, and at first tim doesn't know what to make of that but then starts putting him to use for shenanigans. you get the idea

Oh, God, but Tim maintaining a professional relationship with Ra's al Ghul is everything I've ever desired? This weird old undead motherfucker is constantly bugging him about joining up and being his right-hand man and conquering the unruly world together and bringing peace and justice once and for all, blah blah blah, but Tim just isn't interested in that. Sounds like a lot of responsibility to have at his age, frankly. He's good just calling in the occasional favor and redirecting Batman's fury with the League of Assassins.

Also, like...I've officially started tagging these things "morally gray tim drake has my heart" because he does, y'all. He does! I do so very much enjoy the interpretation of Tim Drake as a morally gray character regardless of age (but especially in the Red Robin run) and I do think it's a valid way lens through which to see him.

The thing that makes Tim stand out to me is this undercurrent of tone to everything he does which implies that he views himself as inconsequential to the narrative. I might be in the minority here and that's fine(ish), but I've always thought about what would drive an emotionally abused and neglected 13-year-old child to try everything in his power to save his hero from killing himself and/or becoming public enemy #1. And maybe I'm projecting, but it always seems to come back to: "Well, I don't trust anyone else to be capable of doing it." He tried to talk to Dick, and Dick wouldn't take Robin back up, but Nightwing wasn't what Batman needed. And sure, they could've waffled about and tried to find someone else to be Robin. But Tim was right there and in the absence of anyone else he felt was qualified to do it, he just...did it.

Tim sees Batman (and Nightwing and Robin by extension) as being so incredibly significant to the overarching narrative. He knows that Batman doesn't really reduce crime, not in a city with local politics as corrupt as Gotham. He knows that it doesn't functionally matter if Batman gets this guy and not that guy, because it all shakes out the same. When there's a huge crisis, when Gotham City needs a symbol of everything that's still good here, still worth saving, Batman shows up and saves the day. Batman isn't allowed to succumb to human flaws like grief, despair, and outrage. People need him to mean more than that. Tim will do whatever it takes to secure and maintain that almost otherworldly level of heroism for Batman. If it gets him dirty in the process, he doesn't mind. Tim Drake won't be remembered. Batman will.

Of course, this is also why I think it's so fucking funny that Tim is at a point where he's just throwing death wish ideas at a wall until something sticks and hollering at the universe, "JUST KILL ME ALREADY!!!!"

[timdrakeinorder]

Batman #442 (My thoughts)

Alfred has known him for ONE NIGHT and he already gets Master Timothy status. It's unreal how fast he got endeared to this little shit. Alfred and Tim's relationship is so underrated and I will never stop saying it! In a way, Alfred mentored him before Dick or even Bruce did. Alfred has such an important role in teaching him how to be a support for Batman, and accepting how dangerous what they do is as someone on the sidelines

Alfred is so strong, he really doesn't get enough credit for how hard being Batman's guy in the chair, emotional support, nurse, and father is. He could lose his son every single night and he just has to sit at home and hope for the best

Right of the bat (hehe) Tim has SO much respect and appreciation for Alfred and it's really nice to see.

Hey look, it's the profile thumbnail!

It's like Tim can't physically restrain himself from jumping in to help when he sees a problem. He's so worried

This is where we get into one of my biggest gripes with fanon, the "tim forced batman to make him robin" thing, and also a bit of the "bruce was irresponsible and chose to endanger a random civilian child" thing, although the 'are robins child soldiers?' discourse is too heavy for me to get into.

The biggest problem I have with it is when Dick and especially Alfred are portrayed as being against the decision and forced to accept it by Bruce

As with a lot of fanon, it's rooted in canon and then horribly exaggerated. Tim talks Alfred into taking him to save Bruce and Dick, despite multiple attempts to talk him down both in the cave and in the car. Tim followed Dick all the way to Haley's circus to try and talk him into being Robin, if Alfred didn't drive him the little shit absolutely would've found his way to the fight anyways the second the man turned his back. He's extremely stubborn. And, as established in earlier installments, Batman has been reckless to the point where it is VERY likely he'd die out of his own lack of self-regard any day. I really can't blame Alfred for having a moment of weakness here. Bruce means more to him than anything in the world and Alfred can see that in Tim.

This is also where we get into the "did Tim stalk the bats and take pictures of them regularly?" fanon discourse. I definitely don't think there's canon support that he was following them every night on patrol as an extremely young child (he didn't even figure out their identities until he was 9. I've seen writers make him as young as FOUR trying to follow them and as a big sister to a 4 year old, y'all are insane) That being said, I think his use of the word "followed" could be interpreted in a few ways. It would be a perfectly valid interpretation that he means 'followed' in the way one follows the news, as in keeping track of. However, he does have A LOT of pictures of Batman and Robin and, in my opinion, a lot of them don't look like newspaper clippings. Plus Batman and Robin are rarely caught on film, I don't think the newspapers would catch them often enough for Tim to build a collection that big.

Tim also knows when Titans meetings are, where Dick's apartment with kori is and the fact that they're together as well as knowing what angle to peep through the window at and where to view both the tower and that apartment stealthily. He knows where Dick's New York apartment is, he knows how to get in, he knows how to get into Dick's safe.

He DID manage to follow Batman to that fight on the dam and photograph it.

I think that's too much evidence to completely dismiss the idea that he's followed them before

And here's the real kicker about the 'Tim forced them' thing. TIM DID NOT GO IN WANTING TO BE ROBIN! TIM SEES THIS AS THE ONLY SOLUTION TO BATMAN'S SELF-DESTRUCTIVE VIOLENT SPIRAL!

Tim is selfish. He is stubborn. He's reckless. He wants to help no matter the risk. He sees a problem that affects him deeply out of a VERY parasocial relationship and demands to be able to fix it no matter what anyone else has to say about the matter. And he's a 13 year old boy with a heart too big for his chest. Tim was made to be robin

(coming back for part two after work. we're still only on page seven and I have MUCH more to say)

[valentine-writes]

ur writing is super good!! sorry if i’m piling on with this, but any angst with miguel? i need this man put in a blender

if you need to be mean

「 tws + notes: vv possibly ooc, unedited, spider-person reader, unhealthy dynamic, assorted angst, hurt/comfort ending, reader is cold, miguel doesn't know how to deal with emotions, everyone is a wreck but they're all trying so hard :( </3 」

「 gn!reader, man idek if this is platonic or romantic tbh y'all r just messy here 」

↳ ft. miguel o'hara/spider-man 2099

author's note: THANK U SM!! and i got u!!! i am. so excited 2 practice more for him– anon please don't be upset w/ me,, but,,, (´∩｀。),,, i physically don't think i can write Pure Angst. i wud b no good at it!! :p so! hurt/comfort in the end ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐ i CANT JUS,, END IT SAD,, </3 i am so so sorry!! also so so real putting him in tha blender at the Highest Speed ever,,, he iz my milk webkin fr (lovingly) (kinda) some real quick stuff: this was gonna b short but i Overdid It and im still unsure whether i like it or not. and also. i was supposed to have the reader being mildly Messed Up™️ too cuz "hehehehe letz make this more difficult >:))" (also becuz miguel is NOT the only one allowed to have issues + too many angsts i have read where reader jus takes what miguel dishes out passively and i didn't want that) BUT I ENDED UP MAKING IT WORSE AJDHDQWHJE,,, hopefully this is. angst galore. again i am not great w this <( _ _ )> <//3

▸ maintaining a healthy relationship with miguel– in any form– proves to be difficult.

this is especially prevalent in the beginning stages of your developing relationship. you begin to learn that he is terrible with verbally expressing any affection he feels towards you. some days he seems almost so completely distant that there’s valid reason to worry that he just doesn't care about you anymore.

these worries are the furthest thing from the truth– miguel hasn't cared about someone to this extent in a while. still, he finds himself lacking, completely unable to tell you how much you mean to him.

▸ sometimes he grows fearful that he's become too attached to you. he aware he's in too deep at this point, yet conflict rages on in his mind: whether it's better to hold on as tight as he can to keep you in his life, or let you go before something rips you away from him.

part of him is worried it's only a matter of time before something happens.

these thoughts are usually quelled by drowning himself in tasks and missions, using his focus on work as a means of distraction.

when there's nothing left to shut them out, he chooses to avoid you instead of seeking reassurance.

there are times when you don't see him for days straight. he doesn't send you on any missions, doesn't contact you, actively avoids you when you're inside of the HQ– and when you eventually see him again, he avoids speaking of it. you both understand you're meant to pretend like nothing happened.

you're not beyond doing the same to him. miguel is distraught with how similar you two can be, how you reflect him and he reflects you in unique and awful ways– ways that only the two of you can understand.

▸ whenever you choose to be the one to spontaneously ditch, however,,, there are moments where he gets desperate and ends with him seeking you out,, usually by assigning you a mission just so you have a reason to come back

no matter who leaves– whether it's you or miguel– you both end up taking each other back in the end, half-heartedly reaching the unspoken agreement that this is the way you two “reconcile.” you grow accustomed to this back and forth.

you're both wonder who this is hurting more.

▸ never wants to be seen as clingy or needy. wants to convince himself he can make it on his own, that things are somehow better that way. miguel feels a deep frustration in the fact that he can't seem to process his emotions in a proper manner.

he seeks solace in solitude, even if it never fully works. he's willing to settle with feeling "okay" instead of "better." (self isolation moment.)

asking for help on missions is one thing. asking for personal help is another, which means that offering him support on his bad days is always a hit or miss.

most of the time, if someone chooses to extend their hand to him, it's typical that he swats it away and insists he doesn't need anything. he doesn't accept help easily– even when it's from you.

▸ there's always the off chance he lets you stick around. he's silent as you find a place for the two of you to sit down. once he’s comfortable, he leans against your side.

the quiet in the room isn't tense. it isn't scary. you know he just doesn't want to talk about what’s bothering him often. he can't even verbalize how much you mean to him– how is he meant to explain any of his other emotions to you?

"it's okay." you whisper, breaking the silence in the room. "just... take your time."

even though your words are as soft you can manage, it feels like you're yelling in contrast to his complete wordless state. you glance over at him. miguel doesn't meet your gaze.

"i'll be here for you," his expression softens ever so slightly at your words as you reassure him, "i promise."

he only mutters one word in response: "don't."

▸ (next headcanon based off of this art from instagram. slide two specifically.)

you can still remember the first time he ever cried in front of you. it's been a vivid memory in your head ever since it happened– not because of why it happened– but because of how it happened.

"you haven't been around for days, miguel." it's been almost more than a week since you've last seen him. this time, you sought him out– not to bring him back into your life, but to confront him one last time. after deliberating for longer than you cared to mention, you finally decided you were going to make things right or get out of his life for good.

and there he is, standing on his platform. it's lowered to the ground, the orange holographic screens surrounding him empty, displaying nothing. they emit a soft glow in the dark of the room.

"tell me what's wrong." you demand. the tone in your voice is unfamiliar to him. you're not making any effort to conceal how thin your patience has been wearing.

his back is turned to you. he doesn't say a word until you approach the lowered platform he stands on.

"go away."

"what? like you've been doing this entire time?" you retort.

"go away." he repeats more forcefully. his anger doesn't scare you away. nothing ever does.

you stare at him unflinchingly. "not until you tell me what's wrong."

miguel knows you're going to stand firm. you're going to stay until he tells you. as he lifts his head, glancing over his shoulder to speak to you, you brace yourself– you wait for him to yell. to lash out. anything.

he just looked at you. his eyes, stinging with tears, meeting your stare.

you don't remember what was hurting him that day. you can't recall what made him breakdown in front of you. no, this is the part you remember.

miguel's large frame looks so much smaller as he attempts to shrink himself, as if trying to hide from you. he averts his gaze, trying to blink back the tears and fails horribly.

he has nothing left to do. miguel hides his face in his hand, even if it’s only the two of you in the room. he’s humiliated– completely ashamed– that he can’t seem to stop his crying. for a moment, you’re frozen, unsure of what to do.

it's a drastic change from how you know him. standing in front of you, miguel seems more like an inconsolable child, rather than the detached and icy person most knew him as.

"don't look at me." those are the only audible words miguel manages to choke out between stifled sobs. he cries like a little boy.

and you hate it. you hate how hard he makes it hard to stay angry at him. you hate that no matter what you do, you can't stay away.

the tension in your body dissolves slowly, jaw unclenching as you sigh to yourself. you’re caving already.

it takes you a moment, but you know you can't leave him like this.

slowly approaching him, you quietly wrap your arms around him from behind, gentle enough for him to pull away from your touch if he didn't want it. he doesn't protest. you swear you can feel him subconsciously lean in.

"it's okay," you mutter, "i got you."

▸ miguel makes sure to talk to you the next day after you comforted him. to your surprise, it wasn't to tell you to keep that moment between the two of you– he knew you well enough to know you wouldn't say a word.

he was there to say thank you. simple and plain as that. he thanked you for sticking around. thanked you for being there even though he constantly pushed you away.

and you couldn't find the energy to respond. horribly disheartening to miguel, considering this is the most effort he had put in to communicate with you– but understandable. he didn't push you any further.

as awful as it felt to know, you didn't want a thank you. you didn't need his gratitude for your stubbornness.

it was much too late for a thank you to resolve the days he left you without a word, only to return expecting everything to be the same. it was much too late for a thank you to make you feel better about the fact you ended up comforting him even after everything. those words couldn't fix anything.

you wanted a goddamn apology.

▸ it's been almost three weeks since you'd last been seen around the spider society hq.

nobody seemed to be aware of the reason for your sudden disappearance. miguel was worried sick.

his temper is shorter, his patience is waning, and he’s willing to snap if anyone even mildly irritates him. it’s an unpleasant experience for everyone.

he'd tried to find you by tracking your watch, which proved to be useless. you were too clever for that– you'd made yourself undetectable, somehow disabling or destroying it before you left. miguel could’ve hunted you down, searching every place in the multiverse to find you again, once more to see you. but he didn't have to. the moment he had decided to start the search, your watch went active again, allowing him to locate where you were. like you were beckoning him over.

he didn’t hesitate to meet you there, stepping through a portal to get to you. notably, you weren’t in your own universe– but he wasn’t going to scold you for that. not now.

there you were. it was almost dream-like to him, seeing you sitting in the grassy fields in the middle of nowhere, the outline of your frame illuminated by the moonlight. the night air was filled with tension, as you sensed him approach from behind and quietly sit beside you.

he’s the one to break the silence. your name slips from his lips, as he’s about to speak up–

"hey." you greeted flatly, cutting him off. you glance at him with a weak smile, chuckling dryly. "so... you need something?"

"...no." miguel glanced around at the unfamiliar setting. just before he can get anything out, you part your lips to speak again, looking up at the dark sky, glittering above the two of you.

“i forget that new york doesn’t have the best view of the stars.” you murmur. “light pollution and all that shit… so y’know,, this is nice. i missed this type of view.”

he nods in agreement, though the small talk about the stars isn’t what he wanted from you.

you continue with your little ramble, seemingly just saying whatever came to mind. “speaking of cities– how’s your corner of the multiverse been? has nueva york been fine? feels like forever since i’ve been there.”

miguel tries not to be distracted by your casual conversation or your obvious allusions to your absence. he sees the way your shoulders are held tense, the way your gaze flits over at him expectantly– miguel knows you’re just waiting for him to talk about it, anticipating what he’s oing to say next.

"i– look–” he takes in a breath, finding the words he had been planning to say all this time. “i know. i know i messed up, and i messed up a lot. …i just came here to tell you i'm sorry. for everything."

there’s a momentary lapse of silence between the two of you. the tension is immeasurable as he watches you shift your sitting position, facing him entirely.

"you should be. asshole."

miguel sighs. “i… really should’ve expected that.”

“you know, migs? i tried so hard to just leave you alone.” the previous confidence in your voice wavers. there’s no bitterness in your words, no malice. he hears it in your tone: you’re just worn down, utterly emotionally exhausted.

he hears a sniffle, causing him to turn his full attention to you. the tears glisten as they fall from your eyes and drip down your cheeks. you make no attempt to shy away.

“what are we gonna do now?” you ask, looking over at him. your voice is faint. small. “i can’t let you go– and for fuck’s sake, you won’t even let me– so… what now?”

“i… don’t know.” he confesses. his hand makes his way to yours, placed atop it. his other wipes your tears away, trembling as he touches your cheek with all the tenderness there is, like he’s afraid he might hurt you. he whispers your name again, and it is the sweetest sound you’ve heard in a while.

miguel usually thinks he’s no good at comforting others. but in this moment, you would’ve never known that. he doesn’t hesitate to pull you into an embrace, holding you in his arms like you’re the most precious thing in the world. he’s not leaving you to suffer alone. he’s not leaving you like that ever again.

“you don’t have to forgive me.” he whispers to you. miguel knows he can’t repair all the damage he’s done. he knows you might never be able to look at him the same. And for once, he’s fine with that. he just needs to know you’ll be okay. “...just, please. let me do this for you.”

[randomgentlefolk]

CPC CHAPTER 158

With each chapter updated, the more I sob to my cat (while wearing my plaid clothes of course)

Also this post is going to be long because I love psychology so much.

Tw: mentions of un-aliving oneself

Lorzanna fighting alongside each other....... that is the most badass way to say "we're girlfriends"

Lorena using the chains as whips and Suzanna doing fencing style!! THEM. I NEED MORE OF THEM.

Medic Syrah! It's like one of those I things I never know I want until I get it.

Aww Orson and Monika holding the portcullis together <3 they're so strong???

Frederick telling Syrah step by step on how to do first aid <3

Also, Frederick using his strategy skill!! He can finally show his talent for Leland to see >:D or, uh, not really since Leland is not currently in the room but ANYWAY

Beckett..Beckett, Beckett, Beckett.... Man got snitched and I'm having second hand embarrassment 💀💀 well he won't be Pastel Top 1 guard but at least he can be with Maria. Oh yeah finally!! He knows who the real Maria is!! I hope he won't forget when he's back conscious tho.

Fellas, let's give appreciation to our guard homies Horace and Old guard (he still needs a name)

Also may I just say Maria looks GORGEOUS in this panel?? HER HER HER??? Also her starting to wonder why Frederick is against the Plaid kingdom?? IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER Y'ALL.

I went from "Lance!! :D" to "Lance :'(" because damn...DAMN??? Bro tbh I'm relieved the gala foreshadowing is him getting hit on the head and not gettint CHOPPED but on the other hand DAMN. The commander did NOT have to do that DAMN. The blunt head trauma??? What if he hit head when he fell?? "So he won't hurt himself" my foot BRUH. I just checked again and HE HIT HIS HEAD. Bro is gonna get a concussion.

Also his face is still bleeding out. In case someone, uh, forgot.

Go Lorena and Suzie go help him! I know what he did was horrible but he's trying!!

Confrontation Time Yayyy...

Blaine. Blaine bro. Stop. Just. Okay there is a lot of childhood issues to be unpacked here. But you know what before talking to him before telling him what he should do maybe we should all just. Let him relax, for awhile. I mean ngl he looks awful, and I'm not trying to be mean here but he and Frederick clearly needs professional help. But let's unpack them one by one. Let's start with the pianist.

(Disclamier: I am not a professional. I am simply telling you my opinion in this post)

Holy shit. Someone give him a break. Give him lots of sleep. Anything to make this boy relax. Let me just say this right away, golden child syndrome. I'm blaming all of these shit on Leland. Y'all our lesson today is: don't put too much pressure on a child, don't compare your children to each other, and accept your child however they are. Please y'all this has happen too much. A child is smart and they achieves lots of things, then makes that their only reason of living, the only reason they are loved. That's horrible. In Blaine's case, I think he feels as if those achievements, those trophies, are a way to validate his life. It's like he cannot fail because if he fails automatically he disappoints everyone including himself.

We know that he has been 'thriving' since he was child. Let's say approximately since he was uhh 9 years old? That would be 12 years of intense hardwork hell sugarcoated by the paradise of 'winning'. Once again, not exactly the best childhood ever. Not to mention, does he even have any friends? We have never seen him mention any. So we can say that he doesn't have any support outside of him being 'perfect' (well, until Maria at least, but that was pretty short-lived :')

At this point I won't even be surprised if the reason he has been doing self care is only so that he looks good as a model and so that people love him.

Man, he needs intense reality check. Also I'm like 99% sure he definitely doesn't want to kill Frederick. The event of him and Lance beating the shit out of the bullies still live in my head rent free. Bro is VERY confused with his life right now and needs help.

Let's move on to the youngest now

Right of the bat I'm going to say:

Scapegoat child, self esteem issues, possibility of depression, and uh we're gonna have to add this now... possibility of being suicidal. Alright.

What is a scapegoat child? A scapegoat child is the child who is pretty much blamed for everything and takes attention of the center of the problem, if that makes sense. As far as I know, this is the child who recognize the actual problems in the family, and is the one to break the cycle of abuse. These children are the opposite of the golden child. And you know what it makes sense that both of them are in the same household. If there is a golden child to praise and give attention to, then there is the scapegoat who is blamed and left out. That is what Frederick is in his family.

Self esteem issues. This boy has been told he is pathetic, weak, useless, and all of those words for his entire life, to the point he actually believe that those words are his entire personality.

Now, I'm not gonna straight up say he is suicidal, though we have an evidence in the panel here. But if we look at the past chapters, he doesn't exactly actively try to die. Those moments where he fell of the Pastel hills are accidents. But we can also say that the suicidal thoughts just came recently. Especially considering what is happening lately. Being trapped in a deep hole with little to no socialization can really do some things to you...even if you're an introvert. We are social creatures. As much as we say we hate chatting with people, we also don't want to be alone with no social communication our entire life now, do we?

Anyway, I'm going to suggest this, there is a chance that Frederick probably has what is called passive suicidal ideation. He doesn't actively try to die, but he wouldn't care if he die. But I'm a little conflicted on this one. Maybe someone else who is better at this field of study can help me?

We can also assume that Frederick told Blaine to kill him out of desperation. There are lots of possibilities that I hope Lambcat will explore more in the future.

Also his coping mechanism of escaping reality is something to watch out for since he has shown signs of not being able to differentiate between reality and fantasy

Now, I just want to say that there is a chance that I'm heavily wrong here. But I'm just stating my opinion and I'm not trying to offend anyone. If there is something wrong in what I wrote please do tell me.

Okay, let's move on to the next scene now—

NAH BLAINE SWINGING THAT SWORD 💀💀 Bro is clearly so stressed istg. C'mon Blaine the curse tattoo doesn't look THAT bad. It looks aight if you ask me. I would even say it's unique.

Yeahhh! What Whitney said! Lmao I'm so sorry but this scene reminds me of Steven Universe and Spinel. Whitney just wanna talk it out :') he has changed so much from his old self.

YOOOO ALL THE ELDEST SIBLINGS ARE GIVING BLAINE A REALITY CHECK. Maria, Whitney, Calpernia. Snap outta it Blaine please.

"I'd like to cut in" Goals. I do also want to start my battle by saying a pun. I can't wait for Prez vs Blaine!! It's going to be sick.

THE MAIDS. HOLY MOLY (haha get it?). Of course they also have weapons. It makes sense considering how protective Jack is! Also

Was. Was the cleaver not enough? Lol 💀

I am even more hyped for Leland vs The maids!

Well, that's it for now. That was a long ass post lmao. I'm gonna go back to class.

Mono out! (But still in to hear your thoughts)

[olderthannetfic]

Talking about misogyny in Fandom... Some youngs really need to think about how you all go "defending" the right of people writing whatever they want, because being sexist and ageist trying to defend fanfiction made by woman is Not How You Solve This.

Story time.

In Twitter (because is always there, yes?) a screenshot of a HBO series' dialogue started circulating because it was cringe. The dialogue was a man saying something along the lines of "wow that's a lot of cum" or something like that, the point is that the dialogue was intended to be Horny & Relatave™ but it came off as... Not Great. People made fun of the dialogue, etc. Until a QRT got special tracktion... This QRT said "y'all laugh at this but read on AO3".

Now, it is annoying and stupid to compare a HBO production to fanfiction? Of course. I'm not gonna elaborate on how is it stupid because that's not what this complain is about.

This QRT was shared... multiple times in a lot of groups and communities I'm in and I was so fucking tired. But the last straw was a WOMAN sharing the screenshot of this QRT with the following description: "So many mad people on Twitter but this is true actually. That's why I don't read smut, it's always cringe and the same. And the writers are always females...".

Oh, the smell of misogyny in the morning! I wasn't the only one bottered by this, and a lot of people started responding to this person mocking her misogyny and that she should start making an effort to find good smut. However... some of those responses were phrased... bad. Really bad. They're probably not aware of this, but they're responding to misogyny with more misogyny AND ageism. Two responses were more obnoxious that the others:

You really need to stop reading smut made by literal teenagers. They obviously write like that, all cringe and bad. Start reading smut made by adults.

Why? You all seriously do not see the problem with that response? Why are you all so comfortable SHITTING on (female) teenagers exploring their interests? And why you all bring this shitting on teenagers when you """try""" to defend women's right to write fucking porn fanfiction?

If you're reading fics made in 2012 is obvious they're gonna be shit, like, that was the cringe year. A lot of teenagers only wrote about One Direction.

Again, shitting on teenagers having fun but also... I know you all are in your 20s and feel Very Adult™ but umm... In the 2012 there were people writing fanfics that were good. Because fanfiction is not a 2012 thing. Like. If you all are actually on AO3 you should know that. Women in their 70s are still writing fanfic. Maybe you all need to leave Wattpad, because that's the only site that can cause this kind of idiotic brainrot.

You don't fight misogyny with more misogyny. The fact that you direct the misogyny to "cringe teenagers" doesn't make it valid.

--