#it's a silly little selfie. but seeing my chest in something that used to make me feel so dysphoric

[iliothermia]

[silvergyus]

best man and maid of honour being absolutely enemies and hating the living shit out of each other

hate sex at the bachelor/bachelorette parties?

"i hate you" - c.bg

pairing: best man!beomgyu x maid of honor!reader

summary: your best friend is marrying the love of her life, but you can't stand her groom's best man, choi beomgyu. his arrival at her bachelorette party sends you into a rage, one that turns into something more heated than just an argument

warnings: hate sex, semi-public sex (bathroom at a club), dubcon (reader and bg are both somewhat intoxicated), pussy job, unprotected sex, pull out method, spanking, mention of hickeys, hair pulling (bg receiving), use of "baby/ princess/ pretty slut" for reader, insults as foreplay?

word count: 2,800+

part one of wedding season

“How original.” Despite being impossibly close already, he pressed closer to you, more in your space. You felt the heat grow between your legs and swore it was the tequila. “Why don’t you tell me how you really feel then?”

“I hate you,” you spat through gritted teeth.

“Then why are you humping my leg?”

I need to know where you’re having Soobin’s bachelor party

Your text sat unread alongside several other versions of the same message. God, he was driving you crazy.

It’s true that maybe you were taking your duties as maid of honor a little more seriously than you really needed to. You’d heard the wedding planner mutter that it was almost as if you were the bridezilla. But is it really your fault if the bride was your absolute best friend since childhood and didn’t have a party planning bone in her body? Her big day would be completely perfect in every way, you were going to make damn sure of it- which meant that you couldn’t kill the best man, no matter how much you wanted to.

----

You’d never been a big fan of Beomgyu. He was Soobin’s best friend. You adored Soobin- he made your best friend happy and always was kind and considerate of you when you third wheeled- but you couldn’t understand why someone so kind, so patient as Soobin would be best friends with someone like Beomgyu. They were polar opposites. Soobin was quiet; Beomgyu needed to be the life of the party. It was grating. He was too rowdy, too silly, too committed to the bit.

And right now, he was driving you completely crazy with his lack of responses.

You wanted this bachelorette party to be perfect, straight out of a movie. Dinner, drinks, tiny penis straws- a night to remember. Your best friend and her entire bridal party were going to pregame at your apartment before heading to her favorite club. Everyone would buy her drinks and make her feel like a princess until she got too drunk to walk. You’d even pre-ordered the Uber for the end of the night.

You’d planned out outfits and accessories and a perfect itinerary. This Saturday was going to be perfect. Only one thing could put a wrench in your plans, and he was currently leaving you on delivered.

----

Several days, many texts and a few voicemails later, Beomgyu finally replied.

Same day. Quit worrying. I have everything planned

Where though? You texted back immediately. But to no avail. He didn’t even open your reply.

“That asshole."

----

The bass pumped steadily through the speakers, a thumping you could feel in your chest. The night was going perfectly. Photos were perfectly candid, drinks were flowing steadily, not a hair on your head was out of place. Everyone’s dresses were shiny and slutty and looked damn good. Everything was perfect. Just as you planned. You were practically glowing- or maybe that was just a side effect of the tequila.

You were just about to snap another selfie with the bridal party when you heard a warbled “baby!” from across the bar. Your best friend’s eyes lit up as she turned around to see her fiance rushing towards her. Soobin, larger than life, appeared as a blur, scooping her up in his embrace and plastering drunken kisses across her face.

You froze. Fuck! What is he doing here?

The bride was whisked away by her husband-to-be, leaving you at the bar, mouth hung open in disbelief. Everything was perfect. How could this happen?

The culprit behind your ruined night slid into the seat next to yours. Choi Beomgyu, a nasty smirk on his face, appeared in your sight. Your blood boiled. “How dare you?” you hissed.

His face didn't change as he asked, “how dare I what?”

“How dare you show up here? You knew this was my choice for the bachelorette party.”

“Watch your tone, princess, it was literally not my fault.”

You scoffed, pissed at his tone and the pet name. “How is it not your fault that you’ve brought the guys here to ruin my girls’ night?”

“You know how Soobin gets when he drinks,” Beomgyu reminded you. The part of your brain that wasn’t swimming in tequila recognized that he had a point. You and your best friend had laughed more than once at the sentimental calls she received from a drunken Soobin, in his feelings after a few drinks and missing his girl. The part of your brain that just drank a margarita out of a tiny pink penis straw didn’t care that maybe Beomgyu had a point, that part of your brain was just pissed off.

Your mouth moved faster than the logical part of your brain as you cursed him out. How dare he ruin your night? Why would he do the one thing you asked him not to do? You texted him, so, so, so many times. Though you haven’t drank much, the alcohol mixed easily with the swirling emotions to take your anger from zero to ten quickly, and it wasn’t long before heads began to turn in your direction.

Beomgyu grabbed your wrist to pull you away from the bar, away from the curious eyes. You were reluctantly pulled along towards the shadows near the bathrooms. His grip on your arm only made your anger burn hotter. Who does he think he is?

He pulled you to a stop in the single-stall restroom, his hand finding its way to your waist. His touch was surprisingly gentle as he looked you in the eyes. “You need to calm down.”

"Why the fuck are you here? I told you not to come here. I told you so many times and you fucking showed up anyway!"

He sighed, leaning back as he did. “I told you; Soobin asked and I couldn’t say no.”

The light caught his dark hair at this angle, shining through his bangs and illuminating his features. Was he always this good looking?

Beomgyu noticed your pause. “That’s it then? Got nothing to say now? After that scene out there?”

You felt the anger in your blood pick up again. “Don’t act like I’m the asshole here!” You took a staggering step towards him in the tiny space as you raised your voice. “You could’ve distracted him!”

He took a step back, away from your advancement. He tilted his head, resting it against the dark red wall. Your temper stilled in your chest as your eyes fixated on his Adam's apple, on the sharp angle it possessed, how it jutted out from his pretty throat. What was happening to you? Why were you noticing things about him?

“You keep doing that.” His voice was low when he spoke, its trembling bass sent a shiver down your spine. You swore it was just the alcohol that made you squeeze your thighs together.

“Doing what?” Your voice was barely more than a whisper. You weren’t sure Beomgyu could hear it over the noise of the club, muffled but still noticeable in the small bathroom.

He moved towards you, caging you in, pressing you back against the cool stone of the sink. “Getting distracted.”

Your breath hitched as you took in his features. His brown eyes stared at you with something burning below the surface. His cheeks were flushed red from his own night of drinking. His full lips were parted just so, and were so, so close to yours.

You watched him smirk, laughing at you. The spark of anger flashed in you again. How dare he laugh at you? Put you in this compromising position? Take you away from you girls after ruining your night? “There you go again. Am I that distracting, princess?”

“Shut up.”

“How original.” Despite being impossibly close already, he pressed closer to you, more in your space. You felt the heat grow between your legs and told yourself it was the tequila. “Since it's just the two of us here," he leaned in so his breath fanned against your ear as he spoke. "Why don’t you tell me how you really feel then?”

“I hate you,” you spat through gritted teeth.

“Then why are you humping my leg?” His voice was deep and mischievous as he asked, dark eyes glinting with a look that made both your anger and the heat between your thighs swell.

You looked down in horror as he lifted the front of your dress to reveal a wet spot on his jeans. “Look baby, all wet just for me.” He was goading you, and fuck, it was working.

“Shut up,” you said again, shoving his shoulders hard so he stepped back. You followed, pushing him against the dark wall once more. Your hands found his collar as you spoke. “You never listen to me! You weren’t supposed to be here! You always make everything about you!” You were pissed, letting the alcohol bring up the feelings you’ve politely squashed down for months. You wanted him to know what you thought of him, needed him to know that you couldn’t stand to be around him. That he was the bane of your existence and this night was the icing on the cake.

But this close you could smell the cologne he dabbed on his throat, a warm, spicy scent that made your head spin a different way than the tequila did. His Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed, tilting his head to look at you and it filled your vision. You suddenly felt very hot and a very strong need to bite it, to mark him up.

“Is that everything? Or is there anything else you want to say?” You met his gaze, dark chocolatey, brown eyes rimmed with pretty lashes. Was Beomgyu hot? How had you never noticed him like this before?

His voice interrupted your thoughts. “Because if it is, I’d like to say that you are the most controlling, tight-wound, micro-managing person I’ve ever met. If it’s not your way, then it’s not right.” He grabbed your hands from his collar as he spoke, holding them tightly as he pushed you backwards until your ass met the cool stone of the sink. “Isn’t that so?”

The action threw you off your guard. He was toying with you in a way you didn’t expect. He was always a tease, but this was much more controlling than you’d ever seen him be. “Answer me.”

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that.”

“Or what?”

He stared at you, eyes burning into yours as you held your face fierce. You had no idea how to answer but you couldn’t back down. Not now, not to him.

The tension broke by way of Beomgyu claiming your lips with his, a swift kiss that shook you out of your competition. His lips were soft, slightly chapped as he nibbled at yours, tongue darting out to ask for entrance. His tongue was in your mouth, filling your head with notes of beer and whisky, a sharp contrast to the sickly sweet tequila that still coated your tongue. Fuck, he tasted good, deep and smoky, it paired so well with his cologne. Your head spun, fuzzy and light. You needed him, needed him now.

His hand groped your breast over the tight material of your dress, squeezing not for your pleasure but for his. His actions were rough, quickly pulling down the thin fabric to paw at your bra. You broke the kiss to gasp when his fingers pulled roughly at your nipple, but Beomgyu didn’t stop. His hands continued to squeeze and pull however they wanted as his teeth nipped at the column of your throat. It was maddening.

You tugged roughly at his hair, drawing a whine as you pulled him away from your neck. Through the haze in your head you could only remember that you couldn’t have any hickeys at the wedding. “Suck here.” You shoved his head roughly onto your chest, throwing your head back in ecstasy as his hot mouth found your nipple.

It was good, so good. Beomgyu made sweet noises against your skin when you pulled his hair, lightly in comparison to the rough tug that brought him to your chest. His mouth was good, but all the attention to your chest left you feeling needy in your core. You pulled his hair again, forcing his pretty lips away from your aching nipple. “Are you gonna fuck me?”

He rolled his eyes, mouth slick with his saliva. “Always so demanding.” He lifted you onto the ledge of the sink, fingers ghosting up your inner thigh. “Does this pussy need something?”

“Shut up and fuck me.”

“No,” he said, mischievous glint returning to his eyes. “Ask me nicely.”

You scoffed. As if.

But he held your gaze, challenging. You looked down to see the tent in his pants, clearly he wanted this too. But he didn’t budge. “Ask me nicely or I’ll leave you here like this.”

“Fuck you.”

He cocked his head. “Is that so?” His movements were quick as he turned you around so you stood, front plastered to the sink ledge. His hands reached beneath your dress to pull down your soaked panties, leaving you exposed, pressed to his back and facing yourself in the mirror. “If you’re not going to ask nicely, then I’m not going to fuck you.” His voice was a low growl in your ear.

A hand held your chest as you felt him unbutton his pants, actions sloppy and uncoordinated with one hand. You bit back a moan as you felt his hot cock press against your ass. He pushed it against your folds, nudging your clit and making you whine.

“Just this until you beg for my cock.” He thrust against you, cock gathering your drooling wetness and gliding, frustratingly smooth against your sensitive core. It wasn’t enough, couldn’t be enough. His cock felt delicious and hot against you, but it didn’t slip inside. You arched back, aching for him to be inside. He chuckled at the motion. “So desperate.” His hand slapped your ass, the sound loud in the tiny room. “C’mon, use your words.”

You shook your head, not wanting to give in, to let him win. He continued to thrust against your pussy, making a mess of the both of you. The tip of his cock snagged against your entrance and you moaned loudly, hanging your head as you gripped the cool stone sink in an attempt to ground yourself. 

He laughed at your display, hand finding your chin and forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror. “Look at yourself. Such a pretty slut for me,” he groped your chest as he whispered. The dual sensations of his tip brushing against your clit with every thrust and his fingers pinching and pulling at your nipples was driving you mad. You needed him, you couldn’t stand it. Paired with the soft pants and almost-hidden moans from Beomgyu behind you, you were stuck maddeningly on the edge.

“C’mon, say it. Ask me. Tell me you need my cock.” He smacked your ass again, pushing you into the sink and breaking your defenses.

“Please! Please Beomgyu, please give me your cock! Need it so bad, fuck, just put it inside.”

His smile was devilish as he kissed your throat. “Now, that wasn’t too hard, was it?”

He didn’t let you answer before pushing his cock fully inside you. Slick with your wetness, he went in smoothly, earning a loud moan from you at the sudden fullness. He groaned along with you, eyes crinkling shut as he took in the feeling. “God, this pussy.”

His hips snapped into you messily. Both of you were already so close to your peaks, there was no way that this would last long. His cock hit that spot inside of you perfectly at this angle. It was a sweaty mess of slick and pleasure and you weren’t sure how long you could hold off before crashing.

“Beomgyu,” you panted his name. “I’m close.” His hand reached down, finding your over-sensitive clit and pressing down roughly. “Don’t- don’t cum in me.” You grabbed his hand that gripped the sink. He nodded against your hair, not looking up.

“Cum on my dick baby, cum on my dick and I’ll cum on your ass.” You nodded, anywhere but inside.

He shoved his fingers in your mouth and you sucked, coating them in your spit. They returned to rub quick, hard circles on your clit. Your orgasm struck you like lighting, hot and heavy it poured down on you, splitting your fuzzy head wide open. Your legs shook against Beomgyu and before you were fully through your high he was pulling out to shoot his load across the bare skin of your ass.

The two of you stood there, leaning against the sink for support as you panted, coming down from your highs. Beomgyu’s forehead rested against your back.

You weren’t sure how much time passed before he shuffled away, still close, but not pressed against you. “We should,” you began. He was still beautiful, even after your cloud of rage-induced lust had faded. You cleared your throat. “We should, um, we should probably clean up. Go find everyone.”

His voice was husky when he spoke. “They’re probably wondering where we are.”

Your gaze lingered on him for a little too long before you replied softly, “yeah, probably.”

author’s note: this is a work of fiction not meant to accurately represent the idol. please do not repost.

taglist: @theresawtf, @dearlyjun, @moamidzyism, @miupow

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[x0x0josephinex0x0]

svt gym rat bf things

I am re-starting my fitness journey, and what better to motivate me than being a casual (worrying) level of obsessed with svt. So yeah once again no one asked for this but here we are, writing it anyway

Warnings: some slightly suggestive material, going to the gym/fitness/working out is the topic, meals and eating mentioned

seungcheol

-he is 100% using any gym time with you to show off/impress you/remind you he's ya man, the most overtly sexy of the gym bfs

-likes to hold eye contact while he does hip thrusts. if he's really feeling it he'll get the weights as close to your actual weight as possible, looking at you while he stacks them all up.

-the BELT FLICKS.......the belt flicks. he does it on purpose. and by god you’re grateful.

-shamelessly ogles you the whole time

-he will slap your butt after spotting you for squats and call it his boyfriend tax

-knows you think he's sexy when he works his arms or chest so he always calls you over to spot and then smirks when you get flustered

-but he doesn’t anticipate how desperately whipped he becomes watching you work out (the post lift cardio session is always of a very specific genre if u know what I mean)

-also is a sucker for you in gym clothes and buys you new gym fits every other week

jeonghan

-only wants to go if you're going (poor boy is tired)

-really good at spotting though, always there to help if you need

-easily impressed when you do anything even remotely cool or beat your pr

-spends most of the time talking to you while you work out

-gets flustered when you do something he finds attractive but will NEVER admit it and tries to play it cool

-when he does finally get to the workout you are disgusted by how much bigger his arms are than yours

-i just know he got a fire gym playlist with barbiecore songs bc they get him hyped

joshua

-subtle flirting in the gym is this man's love language

-meets eyes with you and winks across the squat rack, "accidentally" grabs the same weight and your hands touch and he looks up at you all dramatically, leans against the mirror to chat you up

-all smiles even when he's lifting something really heavy if you're there

-makes a plan beforehand for what you're both working that day and checks in with you periodically to see how you're doing

-does silly dances to his gym playlist to make you laugh

-gives you hugs no matter how sweaty you are

-makes sure you push yourself just enough but never too hard

-the gym selfie king -- and he knows all your best angles

jun

-working out with him is a hazard because he always makes you laugh mid lift and you nearly drop what you're holding

-big proponent of stretching but mostly because he likes to see how flexible you are because he is a heaux

-he is also pretty dedicated to his workouts and knows how to keep on task at the gym, but thinks it's cute if you're bouncing off the walls a little

-switches earbuds with you while working out and then judges you when half of it is music he's a featured artist in

-he will challenge you to fake dance battles

-sneaks lil kisses between sets

hoshi

-cannot contain himself because YOU CAME TO THE GYM WITH HIM, goes way too hard, and complains for the next four days about how sore he is

-"races" you on the treadmill

-takes his shirt off because "he got too sweaty" but then gets suspiciously excited when you stare at him or compliment him

-you catch him staring at you all the time

-does his squats RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE and then looks over his shoulder at u like "what r u looking at? perv"

-will do every single gym couples challenge with you, sends you videos throughout the week being like "we should try this"

wonwoo:

-another tired boy, but he does plan what he's going to work out at the gym every time and appreciates you following his schedule with him to keep each other on track

-workouts are usually not aerobic heavy so there's a lot of eye contact with him too

-cannot keep a smile off his face when you hype him up while he lifts, which is almost reason enough for him to do it

-is also super encouraging -- when you're challenging yourself to do something you've never done or trying to break a pr he's always so supportive and sweet

-lets you pick out matching gym fits to wear and always loves how happy you get when he comes out in his

jihoon:

-this man is the ultimate gym buddy and personal trainer

-if u express even a vague interest in working out he will sit you down to discuss goals and expectations and then come to your first gym session with a written, illustrated schedule targeting your specific body type & goals

-meal preps for u :(:(:(:(

-THE BEST spotter and also why do i feel like he has weird amounts of chiropractic knowledge and will be able to help you stretch SO well

-you can ask him any question about any workout and he knows the answer

-for some reason being in the gym with jihoon is so romantic to me like??? i feel like he'd be spotting you while you lift and he'd just lightly touch your arms to steady you and you'd be a blushing mess and so would he and then you'd go make out after

-worried you’re gonna get hurt so it’s sometimes hard for him to complete his workouts bc he’s watching your form

seokmin:

-going to the gym with seokmin would be a disaster in the best way

-will you work out? yes

-will it mostly be your abs, from laughing at him the entire time? also yes

-he will do bicep curls at you AGGRESSIVELY while he blasts careless whisper over the gym speakers

-his squats are all excuses to throw it back/twerk into you

-is also down for a couples challenge or two

-would be very complimentary of your muscles even if you don't feel like they're that good

-counts down your reps in a silly voice

-he ALSO has really good belt flicks but kind of by accident, and when he catches you blushing he'll tease you about it

mingyu:

-another elite-level gym buddy bf

-does love shots with your preworkout & makes the BEST post-gym meals

-he would also totally be that guy who has you kneel on his feet when he does sit-ups or lay beneath him while he does pushups so he can kiss you every time

-he is also an ogler. he will stare shamelessly at your butt as you walk by

-you might try to do a couples challenge once, but he's clumsy af and it didn't end well so you vowed never to do it again

-he's just a big baby so every time you exclaim over how nice his body is he'll get all shy

-also of course this man is posting up in a backwards baseball cap, a black skintight shirt, and gray sweatpants ON PURPOSE but he'll pretend he doesn't know he's committing literal crimes

-enthusiastically encourages you “one more rep babe one more you got this YEAHHHHH”

minghao:

-i see him more as a yoga/barre guy than a lifting guy

-also very good at stretching you out

-gets embarrassed when you watch him push through a difficult workout bc you're practically drooling at how attractive it is

-but he's also surprisingly goofy in the gym with you and makes sure you’re both having a good time

-loves to do those couple yoga poses and couple stretches

-also is down to help you with boxing or jiu jitsu moves

-post-gym glow is real on minghao

-hard to keep ur hands off each other after you get home hehehehehehehe

seungkwan:

-leg day is every day. so many squats are being done

-he also makes you laugh a lot

-for any aerobic workouts you are either getting in the pool with the grannies for water aerobics or ur doing Zumba there is no in between

-takes you on runs to beautiful spots in the city

-gets competitive about working out with you so if you do more reps than him or run a lil faster he pushes himself too hard

-is always prepared: the night before, he’ll set out your gym clothes, fill your water bottle and put it in the fridge, portion out the preworkout, etc

vernon:

-wants to share gym playlists, so he has one earbud of yours in the gym at all times

-surprises himself with how much he’s staring at you because wow he likes you in that tight shirt and leggings

-I can see him being really methodical about working out, so he kinda gets lost in it and forgets you’re alive, until you do your little dances around him

-he loves it when you show off for him so he can compliment you bc he’s kind of shy to do it without a reason bc then he’d have to admit how much he’s forgetting to work out because he’s paying attention to you

-gives you kisses to congratulate you when you reach milestones

chan

-he would also be elite level gym buddy bf

-uses gentle hands to correct your form if he’s worried you’re gonna hurt yourself 🫠

-he is also goofy in the gym but he also knows exactly when to be serious

-almost more committed to your goals than you are and goes buck wild when you reach a goal of any sort bc he is AN ADORABLE CUTIEPIE

-it’s the little things for him — like when you hum along to the song in your ears when you’re re-racking the smaller weights, he’s just so smitten with you

-idk why but I feel that he would be so good to you when you’re feeling that post gym soreness. he’s on that draw you an epsom salt bath, give you a massage, bring you Gatorade type beat

[heartkaji]

[ ★ ⸻ @saelvr ]

★ OVERVIEW

HI AELA !! omg another kaji stan welcome to the club 💓 YOUR ASK WAS SO SWEET BBY, i’m so glad my work could inspire you and you should def start writing again, i’d love to read ur works 💘 ANYWAY you and kaji’s dynamic is kinda hard to sum up. maybe clumsy gf x protective bf ? either way, you two are a cute couple that kusumi, enomoto and your friends love to hype up from the sidelines 🤞

Q1 — WHO FELL FIRST AND WHO FELL HARDER ?

shocking, but kaji fell first; gradually though. i think your friendship started because you somehow needed his help like twice a week every week. you became a familiar face and needing to take a detour off patrol to help you out with something became weekly routine. at first, i think kaji lost his temper with you a LOT. you were always losing something, getting into some sort of trouble, honestly he was sick & tired. but after a while (and many scoldings) he gets used to it. hearing you yap more and more as you get more familiar with each other while he accompanies you to help you out with whatever you need becomes less of a punishment and more of a reward. i feel like at some point you stopped calling him to help you out when you saw him on patrol and then he began to miss you. the next time you needed something and called him up, he asked why you’d stopped needing to see him. you explained you’d been deliberately trying to be more careful so you wouldn’t bother him, but he rolls his eyes : “who told you you were bothering me, huh ?”

kaji also falls harder here i fear 🤦‍♀️ this man has become a fool for the very girl he used to call a fool unfortunately. every second of the day where he’s at furin and not with you he’s wondering what you’re doing, where you are etc. he frequently texts you during class, and you happily oblige, sending him silly selfies to ‘brighten up his day’. he rolls his eyes before saving your pictures to the album named ‘her<3’ on his phone 💘

Q2 — AT WHAT MOMENT DID HE FALL IN LOVE ?

like i said, with you it was a gradual thing. i don’t see kaji having a “damn i’m in love moment” with you, unless we count how he felt weird when he realized he missed your presence? or maybe we could take it as that. kaji builds up some sort of affection with you the more you spend time together, and although it’s initially a friendly affection it turns more into love the more he notices little things about you : the way you forget about whatever you’re on about the moment you see a stray kitten on the road, the way you playfully grab onto his arm and call him your “knight in shining armor” (which he claims to hate btw ) whenever he takes down a bunch of guys harassing you, the way you gradually seem to become an entirely different person from who you were when he had first met you. at first you were so shy and quiet, but now you have the nerve to tell him to fuck off when he tells you to shut up mid ramble. kaji’s not sure exactly when he started to look at you differently, but one thing he knows is the girl he’s in love with is the girl you’ve been all along

Q3 — THEIR FAVORITE ACTIVITY TO DO WITH YOU ?

SLEEP ! in the most innocent way possible. you can be pretty lazy, and that’s great for kaji because you two can be lazy together. after a long day chasing stray cats or keeping things in check at furin, kaji likes to come back to you and be welcomed with open arms. a lot of times you straight get to talking but you’re immediately cut off : “hi ren, how was your—“ *kiss* “nuh uh, sleep.” he’ll drag you off to your room, gently push you onto the bed and flopping himself on your chest. it catches you by surprise everytime but it only makes you smile. with flushed cheeks you pat his hair and listen as his breathing slows. before long, you’re fast asleep as well <3

>> 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 <<

© ─ heartkaji ; do not steal, copy, edit, translate or reupload

[familyvideostevie]

hi! would you write rooster giving his shy girl cuddles when she's on her period and feeling lonely? thank you <333

anon how did you know this is me rn? so, for you (but also me): you get your period for the first time since you've started seeing rooster and he is just like, the best ever | fluff, fem!reader, 1.4k

The dull ache in your abdomen wakes you earlier than you'd like for a Saturday. You blindly reach for your phone and check the time and then the date -- ugh. Yeah, it's about time for your period.

Mercifully you have not bled on your sheets so you sort yourself out and change from comfy pjs to comfy clothes and resign yourself to a lonely day on the couch. The first few days are always the hardest on you -- you feel sluggish and bloated and tend not to do anything if you can help it.

But lately, your life has taken on a kind of shine you're still getting used to. The biggest thing is the guy you've been seeing: Bradley. It's been just shy of a month and you see him every few days. You've met his aviator friends and he's stayed over at your place once, you at his a few times. He's funny and kind and so handsome and you hope that it changes from "seeing each other" to something more official soon.

That's what stops you from texting him. Maybe if he was officially your boyfriend you'd ask him to pick up some stuff and come over, but you feel shy about doing it for some reason. So you wrap yourself in the sweatshirt he left at your place and settle on the couch to watch something that'll probably make you cry.

Then your phone chirps.

rooster: are you busy today? do you want to walk the boardwalk? i'll buy ice cream : )

Something in your chest starts to ache. You'd mentioned wanting to take advantage of the weather and try the new ice cream shop that opened up by the water.

you: not feeling great today : ( rain check?

Your screen changes a second later, Bradley's contact photo taking over as he calls you. It's a selfie he took on your phone when you were in the bathroom. Oh, you think. Why is he calling you?

"Hi," you say. It sounds a little pathetic.

"Hey," he replies. You imagine him at his place, maybe fresh from his morning run, brows drawn based on the concern in his voice. "Are you okay?"

He's calling because you said you were sick? You don't really know what to do with that. "Yeah, just woke up feeling off. I'm sorry about not going to the boardwalk today."

He hums down the line. "Don't apologize, silly," he says. "Do you need anything? I can get anything you want from the store and bring it over. Do you have lemons? My mom swore by lemon tea when she wasn't feeling great --"

Bradley goes on about the things he could get you at the pharmacy and you feel like laughing and crying at the same time. He's known you for less than a month and he's calling to see if you're alright. God, you think. I could love him someday.

Maybe that's why you just blurt it out, embarrassment tingling in your cheeks. "Bradley," you say, and he stops talking. "I'm not like, sick sick. I just...have my period and feel blah."

Something rustles like he's shifting the phone from one ear to the other. "Oh, sweetheart," he says. He's never called you that before. Your name, yes, and shortened versions of it, yes, but a pet name? Not really. You love it. "I can still buy you stuff for that. You might have to send me pictures of the brands you use, though, because there are so damn many in the aisle."

You will not cry. That would be very cliche of you, and frankly, this is what every girl deserves. But damn if your heart doesn't feel like it's bursting.

"You don't need to buy me anything," you say, softly. You will your shyness away. "But uh, if you don't mind sitting on the couch with a kind of grumpy girl watching nature documentaries all day, you could come over?"

"I absolutely do not mind doing that," he says and you feel like you can hear his smile. "I'll be over in an hour?"

It feels big, somehow, him coming over because you're on your period and feel like shit. Thus far you've spent time together doing things -- going to the Hard Deck or out to eat and, a few times so far, learning each other in bed. You haven't really had a lazy day.

So when he knocks, you slide in your socks to the door maybe a little too fast for the ache you feel all over. You forget that you're in ratty shorts and his sweatshirt until you open the door and he looks you up and down.

"Hi," he says. "Cute." You tug on the sleeves and scrunch up your nose, moving aside to let him in. It's then that you notice he's carrying a bag from the pharmacy.

"Bradley, I said you didn't have to buy anything." He toes off his shoes and shoots you an incredulous look.

"Well, don't get too excited," he says. "I didn't know what flavor of stuff you like so I went kind of basic. I can go get more if you hate all of it."

He sets the bag on your counter and starts to unpack it. You watch him as he does -- damp hair like he showered before he came, workout shorts and a t-shirt that looks oh-so-soft. The scars on his face stand out with his recent tan and you find one you haven't noticed before on his neck. It's fun, the newness of what you have. You're still learning him.

The counter is now full of various ice creams and sweet snacks, as well as some pain medication and...a lemon. "What is your favorite flavor, anyway?" he says, packing the cartons into your freezer.

You tell him and he taps his temple like he's storing it. "I'll remember next time."

Next time.

"Bradley," you mutter. He hears you, turning his head and shutting the freezer. "Thank you for coming over and bringing this stuff."

His eyes go soft and smiles your favorite Bradley smile so far -- it's soft, tender, pleased. "Of course," he says, reaching for you. You take a step and meet him halfway. One big hand tangles with yours and the other cups your jaw, thumb moving slowly over the skin of your cheek. "Thanks for letting me," he adds. He knows that you get shy, that you're still getting to know the private parts of each other.

He kisses you softly and you sigh into his mouth until a wave of cramps hits and you wince. Bradley pulls away with concern on his face until he puts it together. "Sorry," you say. He hushes you.

"Let me make you some of that lemon tea and then we can sit on the couch? I seem to remember you mentioning nature documentaries?" He taps your chin with a knuckle when you nod.

"I like the sound of that," you say.

You try to stay upright as you wait, you really do. But the cramps are coming in waves and you're tired, so you end up horizontal on the couch by the time Bradley brings over the mug.

"Oh," he says, frowning. "Do you want some meds?"

You shake your head. You already took some before he arrived. He puts the mug on your table and cracks his knuckles. The movement gives you an idea.

"Bradley," you say. "I have an idea." He sits on the edge of the couch and puts his hand on your knee.

"Anything."

"Your hands..." you swallow. The shyness creeps up your throat but you persevere. "If you put them here --" you pat your abdomen -- "they'd be like a heating pad."

"Say no more," he says. "Scoot." Bradley actually does all the arranging, settling himself between you and the back of the couch. Your legs tangle and he hooks his chin over your shoulder. "Here?" he asks, putting his hand over the waistband of your shorts.

"Yeah, almost." You can already feel the heat radiating from him and you move his palm so it's on your bare skin under your top, a few fingers sneaking under the waistband of your shorts. It should be sexy, honestly, and while it is intimate, more than anything it's comfortable. "Perfect," you sigh. It really is. He really is.

Bradley relaxes behind you and presses a kiss to your shoulder. "Good," he says. "Now let's watch some badass shit about monkeys or something."

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, masterlist here!

[maladaptive-jcb]

Chapter 6: Canvas of Connections

Jamie x female!reader

(fluff, safe for under 18)

Click here for chapter 5 if you missed it.

Summary: Reader is an independent artist who lives on her own in a small town and meets Jamie, a musician, in an art studio where their budding relationship formed through shared interests of different forms of art.

Warning: There will be talks about trauma and PTSD from sexual assault, domestic abuse and dissociative episodes throughout the story.

I check my phone screen as I hear that familiar notification sound from it. I feel a jolt in my chest when I see Jamie's name pops up as I click it. I open to a selfie that he sent and chuckle silently. It's a photo of him pouting in the driver's seat angled slightly towards the empty space beside him.

"Feels quite lonely when you're not here… ☹️," the message reads.

I start crafting my response in glee: "How sad. Guess we have to change that pretty soon. ☺️"

Jamie and I have been texting back and forth ever since we reconnected at the cafe. When we felt a deeper sense of closeness, we decided to exchange phone numbers at the end. Both of us realized that our heart-to-heart time wouldn't be enough in just a short coffee break. We texted about everything from our favourite books, destination spots, movies to even as silly as our quirky habits. With every text, my heart dances in flips. I can almost hear his voice, laughter and his genuine smile behind every single one of them.

Ding! Another response received. "How about I'll pick you up tomorrow for our class? We can go together! 😉"

I start beaming at the thought of starting a new routine with Jamie. Usually when I walk into class, he'll already be sitting there with his paintbrushes laid out or I'll be the one who's waiting around to hear the familiar footsteps of his ankle boots walking in. Now that he's already initiating a plan to come together shows how familiar and comfortable we already are getting with each other. This thought thrills something in me.

"Sounds perfect! Can't wait to see you tomorrow! 😊" I hit send, feeling a smile creeping up on my face again.

_____

One more time. I tell myself as I check my appearance in the full-length mirror in my bedroom, knowing full well I'll be back to check myself again in a few minutes. I keep tidying the hair that I tied up while still lowering some face framing bangs, adjusting my colourful-patterned top, paired with a simple denim jacket and a black skirt. I intentionally planned the balance between casual and put-together into my whole look. As I step back, the last touch of my subtle stud earrings sparkle under the sunlight streaming through my bedroom window. Yeah, that looks good.

I wonder if Jamie would even notice the effort behind my look. All those clothes laid out in bed and tossing aside the ones I didn't want from the previous night seems comical to me at the moment. However, I really do want to put more thoughts into how I look to Jamie today. He's quickly becoming an important person to me and I don't want to take that for granted.

"Good morning! I'll be there in 10 minutes. See you soon!," his text pops up on my push notifications. I pack my bag up with my art supplies and go to wait at the window. The view from my apartment window overlooks directly on the front driveway of my building. Peering down, waiting with anticipation of every passing car that could potentially be his. Sure enough, after a while, a familiar blue convertible turns into the driveway. Even after imagining that image so many times in my head, my heart still jumps when it actually happens.

When I walk out of my building, I'm met with Jamie standing right outside the car waiting to open the door for me. I speed up my walk towards him in excitement and give him a quick hug. He smells different, a little woody yet fruity at the same time. It's very intriguing and inviting. Seems like he's putting in the effort for me too. It makes me want to hide my smile at the thought.

"Hi! Wow, you look gorgeous!" he exclaims, admiring myself from top to bottom, which makes me more nervous than I thought I would be.

"Oh, thank you. Well, you don't look so bad yourself," I playfully push his arm.

Sure enough, he looks as stylish as ever but truth is, it doesn't matter what he wears. I'll always be captivated by his ruffled up blond hair, clear ocean eyes, striking features and lean build. Always towering over me with a sense of protection.

"Why, thank you, darling," he smiles and runs his hand through his locks. "Are you ready?" He finally opens the door of the car for me. I chuckle at him.

"You really don't have to do this every single time, you know?" I say.

"Try and stop me," he grins back and closes the door after me.

_____

Mr. Hayes and a few of the students were already there. We arrive quite early so we figured we would set up our stuff before we start. When I see two empty seats next to each other, I turn to Jamie.

"Do you want to sit together?" I ask him. His head turns towards me with a little bit of surprise and gladness.

"Really?" he asks back.

"Yes, silly! Come on!" I nod my head towards the seats.

We take the seats and put down our bags.

"It's just…" he starts ruffling his hair again.

"What? What is it?" My curiosity starts growing.

"I don't know. I just think it's funny since there were times where I was thinking of sitting next to you but there was never an available seat. Even when I was early, someone else took the seats next to mine instead," he stares forward, remembering them in his head.

My heart feels touched until something clicks in my head all of a sudden.

"Wait, I might be crazy here but… is that why you were always so grumpy in class?" I ask.

He starts blushing and rubbing his cheeks with his left hand to hide it. His silver rings twinkling under the fluorescent studio lights as he did. "Oh, lovely. You finally caught on me."

"Wait… Jamie Campbell Bower, have you been thinking about me? This whole time?" I start playfully shoving his arm and teasing him endlessly about it. His face starts getting even redder and it's even harder for him to hide it.

"Stop it, behave yourself!" he says in a slightly higher pitched voice with a shy grin on his face.

"Okay, I'll stop… this time," I giggle.

"I'm glad we're here together by the way… even though it took us long enough," I add, shifting the teasing away to calm him.

"Yes, me too. Plus, you promised to help me in class, didn't you? I'm still holding onto that," Jamie says as he leans his body closer.

"Yes, absolutely my dear boy," I pat his back. He smiles with it.

_____

Today, Mr. Hayes gave us a few options of landscape photos to study and copy them into our paintings for the day. The landscape photos were put up from the easiest to the hardest one. Jamie chooses the one in between. Sort of an intermediate level. It's a lovely photo of a purple sunset with different hues of mountains overlapping on the horizon as they fade away. I choose the same because I think it would be nice for us to study it together.

Jamie has the first few layers of colours on the canvas and is now struggling to get the perspective right. I stop to look at his work and help him learn how to realign the proportions through sketching out the shapes before layering another colour. The change of mood shown in his demeanor after accomplishing what he thought he couldn't do makes my heart warm. It feels as if I succeed alongside him as well. He looks up to me again for approval when I notice something and laugh.

"Jamie, you have purple paint on your cheek," I point at the part of his face, continuing to giggle.

"Oh, great…" he rolls his eyes at himself. "I must look soooo attractive right now."

Yes, you do.

I shake my head and smile. "It's okay, I got this." I pull out my wipes from my bag, gets up from my chair and starts cleaning the acrylic paint on his cheek. The acrylic paint is a little dried up so I'm trying a little harder to get it out when I finally notice his iridescent eyes staring right at me. My heart skips a beat.

"Is it gone?" He asks.

I clear my throat. "Oh, yes a little bit more and… there you go."

"Thanks," he beams.

Class is going really great today, especially now that I have him here with me. No longer just staring from across the room or stealing glances at him when he's not looking. No. He's actually sitting next to me now. As my friend.

Jamie and I couldn't stop talking the whole time. Sometimes he would peek over my painting and tried to learn the techniques that I've been using. Because of his eagerness, he'll try and reach my hand to move it away so he can look closely at what I'm doing. I just shake my head at give a slight chuckle from time to time. His behaviour is quite entertaining to see.

Mr. Hayes comes up to us and tells Jamie that his work is super impressive for the day.

"I'm glad you have been learning more with y/n now, huh?" Mr. Hayes nods at me as he talks to Jamie.

"Absolutely. She's an amazing teacher. A cute one too," he smirks and winks at me.

"Now, now am I not a cute teacher for you, Jamie?" Mr. Hayes teases back.

"Oh sorry, Mr. Hayes, I mean-" Jamie's hand on his mouth now.

"That's what I thought," Mr. Hayes chuckles. "You keep an eye on this young boy, y/n. Alright?" He then says to me.

"I will, Mr. Hayes. I promise," I giggle as he moves along to check the other students.

_____

"Hey, thank you for today. I know it was a lot, you know, teaching me while also doing your own painting too," Jamie says to me as we step out of the studio.

"Are you kidding me? It was so much fun doing this with you. I knew I could unlock your potential."

"I really did great today, didn't I?" I sense his happiness in his high pitched voice and his usual big grin on his face.

"Oh yeah, Mr. Hayes was very proud of you!" I place a hand on his shoulder. "I'm proud of you too."

Jamie pulls me into a hug. It takes me by surprise but I feel pleased to welcome it, taking another sniff of his woody scent. His chest feels warm and I can hear the excitement in his heartbeat.

"You're not working today aren't you?" he asks.

"Nope. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I was wondering if you would like to do something," he suggests.

I can feel a smile starts forming on my face.

"Well, what do you have in mind?"

"Come with me. To the beach," a thrill in his voice as he speaks.

"Okay, but please let me get ready and change before we go out again this time."

He laughs again. "Alright, let's go get you back home then."

Jamie drives me home and promised to come back in a couple hours.

Chapter 7

_____

Hi, guys! I'm back! Thanks for all the notes and sweet messages you left me for my stories so far. I'll try to update as often as I can. I hope you like this chapter as much as I do. Just you and Jamie being cute hehe. I'm planning to do more cute stuff like these without derailing my actual main plot. So much in work! I'm excited!

[liquorisce]

i dreamed i left you [4]

pairing: eren x mikasa

rating: E | read on ao3 | chap 1

EREN 

Mikasa watches me with a pained expression. As if staying in my house, in my vicinity, is suddenly the most painful thing she needs to deal with. Once upon a time, she told me, “I don’t know how I spent so many years without you.” Her breath was warm against my neck as she said it, and her fingers played with my chest hair aimlessly. “This feels so natural—“ and in case I had had any doubt as to what she was talking about, she added, “This. You and me. Us .” 

Sometimes I wonder how everything changed so quickly. Maybe it was all a lie from the very beginning. 

 Trying to mask the irritation I felt, I said, “Give me your phone.”

 She looks at me suspicious and annoyed. I extend my hand impatiently. “You can ask me nicely, you know.” 

 I raise an eyebrow. “Can you please give me your phone, Mikasa?” And because I couldn’t help myself, “Now.” 

 She makes a face at me but hands it over. Her wallpaper has changed— stripped from the selfie of the two of us she used to love so much, to the default bland blue device screen. I put in the passcode I knew she wouldn’t have changed.  Armin picks up his phone before it even rings once. 

 “Mikasa,” he exclaims. “God, I’ve been worried sick. I didn’t call because you asked me not to. What the hell is going on—“ 

 “Armin.” 

 The line falls silent. I know he’s still there. It’s like I can hear the emotions in Armin’s head— a moment of surprise that bleeds its way into anger. “… Eren.”  His voice is forcefully level. “Why do you have Mikasa’s phone?” 

 See, I know Armin well, I know he’s angry, I know he has… feelings about what went down between me and Mikasa. But what I resented more than anything else is this air of ownership he exerted over her. He was always like this, like a fucking bulldog— this is my friend. What are you doing with her? Made me want to punch him. “Because she gave it to me.” I sound so nice, a perfect gentleman.

 “Silly of me to ask… something happens to Mikasa, and of course, you’re in the picture.” Armin likes to sound professional, but I know he doesn’t mean it kindly. This was how Armin screamed at me that it was my fault. 

 “Or maybe I was never out of the picture,” I say dryly. Asshole. “Text me your address. I’m coming to pick you up.” 

 I glance at Mikasa, who’s watching me nervously. Is he okay? She mouths. This is another thing I hate, how protective she gets over Armin. There’s a predictably uncomplicated theme here… I have this terrible desire to be the only one she cares about, the only one on her mind, to have her so completely focused on me that she forgets everybody else. But I try my best not to listen to that part of me. I’ll probably earn little more than her hatred in that pursuit, and I think I’d rather deal with the annoying blonde. “Mikasa says she has some keys she needs to return to you.” 

 “And she can’t do that herself?” 

 “Nope,” I say, and cut the call. I don’t think I could stand to listen to his self-righteous tone even one second longer. 

 “What did he say? Is he alright?” 

 I could hear the words he didn’t say: You’re no good for her, Eren. You have no business being with her. Oh wait, those were words he’d said to me already. It wasn’t my imagination, it was my memory. “He sounded great.” Mikasa looks relieved. Honestly, what the fuck was going to happen to him anyway? We’d yet to establish the motive of the attacker but I highly doubt the line of the target would extend until Armin. Unless it had to do with him or his boyfriend… but it didn’t make sense. I watch her grimace as she gets off the bed unsteadily. 

 “Do we meet him at university, then?” 

 I smile at her sweetly, handing her phone back. “ We are going nowhere. I’m leaving and you’re staying right here.” 

 Her mouth gapes open at me. “Eren,” she says, as if I can’t be serious. “You can’t be serious.” I mentally gave myself a pat on the back. Seems I still knew her well enough. 

 “Serious enough, Mikasa. Rest up, get better,” and because I couldn’t resist myself, I smirk, “and stay put like a good girl, yeah?” 

 She watches me, shocked for a moment before anger bleeds into her eyes. “So what? You’re just going to keep me caged up here? Until you ‘deal’ with whoever is behind this?” 

 Her voice is steely when she’s angry, eyes bright and beautiful when she’s enraged. I knew my remark would piss her off, and maybe I wanted it to. Maybe I was fucking tired of being the only one on edge like this, pulled taut like I was about to snap at any second. Or maybe I just wanted to see her feel something for me again, I don’t know. But now when I look at her, pretty lips drawn into a thin line, face flushed in anger, I think about the times we’ve argued before. And how we fucked and made up after it. I don’t think that part of the story is going to repeat itself. “Something like that,” I say. 

 Her eyes widen angrily. “You can’t force me to stay,” she spat. “You have no leads, you don’t even know if you’ll find anyone or not.” And then, softer, “I was there, Eren. This is my mess, at least let me help you.”

 Her mess? Her mess? “Sure,” I drawl, trying to ignore what she just said, “... you can help. I’ll parade you around as bait and wait for whoever was after you to show up. How does that sound?” 

 She looks like she actually believes me for a moment, and I snort, turning around to leave. 

 “I can’t believe you.” I can hear the venom in her voice. “And if you end up empty-handed? Again? How long am I going to be locked up here?” 

 That was a low fucking blow and she knows it. To bring up the one time I’d failed, after tearing through the city, following every fucking lead I had for months, going after the people who’d taken her parents away from her… I’d done everything in my power, and I’d failed. 

 “You can’t believe me?” My fist flies against the wall angrily before I can even consider it. Mikasa’s body slides back against the wall defensively, nestled underneath the shadow of my body. “No, you know me pretty fucking well, Mikasa.” Frustration bleeds into self-preservation, and if I looked carefully enough into her silvery eyes, I could see the slightest hint of fear. I didn’t enjoy it enough to look much longer. Withdrawing from her and putting enough of a distance between the two of us, I tell her coldly, “I’ll keep you here forever if I have to. Just watch me.” 

  Zeke is hovering as I tie my shoelaces. “Just say what you want to say and be done with it.” It’s misplaced anger at him, but I don’t have it in me to apologize right now. 

 “Nothing much to say,” he says, with a small grin. But it’s Zeke, he never has nothing to say. “You just sounded a bit mad, if I must be honest.” I glare at him, and he shrugs and laughs. 

 I guess it wasn’t a good look but I’d said what I had to say. This is the effect she has on me. She makes me crazy. Out of control. The way a Don isn’t meant to be. And the only way I can control it is to have her with me, by my side, not let her out of my sight, so I know she’s okay. That she’s safe. That she’s mine. 

 Fine, maybe Zeke isn’t wrong; I feel mad. It’s like I’m driven by this inflamed desire that burns through my body and sits in the pit of my stomach, craving more. It runs in the family. I saw it in my father; madness that he couldn’t control, madness that he couldn’t face. Madness in the shape of my mother— just a poor woman in the wrong place and the wrong time who he was afflicted by. And when he couldn’t control it, when his own problems took her away from him, his madness morphed into despair and consumed him. 

 But I’m not like him. I can control it. There is nothing in this world that can harm Mikasa as long as I’m alive, I’ll make sure of it.

 “Then don’t be honest,” I say, coolly. “Did you speak to Lin?” 

 “Mm-hmm.” 

 “And?”

 “Turns out the dead don’t really have much to say, unfortunately.” 

 I stare at Zeke, dumbfounded. He looks at me pityingly, as if my reaction is pointless. Shock is for the newbies, the initiates, the lower rungs of the Mafia. The ones who didn’t know any better. If a target has a bodyguard, and the target still managed to get hit, it was obvious the bodyguard must have fared poorly. I just didn’t think… “You’re sure he was killed?”

 Zeke sighs. “He didn’t pick up his phone, so I asked one of my men to go check on his station. He was found on the floor, throat slit in the room that faced Mikasa’s window.” 

 “Killing our men is a blatant act of aggression,” I murmur. 

 “I’d say targeting your woman was the act of aggression here. Lin was the unfortunate casualty.” And then Zeke says, finally remembering to sound sorrowful, “May he rest in peace.” Something in my expression must have prompted it. 

 “She’s not my woman, Zeke.” 

 He looks at me like I’m a fucking idiot. “Eren.” His hand thumps my shoulder. “I don’t think our world really cares much for this little fight you guys are having—” 

 “I don’t think you understand—”

 “What don’t I understand?” His eyes are ice cold. “She won’t fuck you anymore and you feel like you’re dying inside? Nobody cares except you. You’re the one who doesn’t fucking understand, Eren.” His blue eyes feel glacial. If he’d punched me in the gut, it might have hurt less. “To everybody else, she’s yours. There’s not much that’ll change it.” He makes a show of scratching his beard. “Except death, perhaps.” 

 A dull headache bloomed behind my eyes. I wonder why of late this is the discussion that always follows the topic of Mikasa— death, harm, despair. I grabbed my keys and left without a word. 

  I tried to keep my head as blank as I could, on the way to pick up Armin. The way I felt right now… restless, unsettled, I felt like I was turned inside out— from so many things. Mikasa was in danger, Zeke just handed my ass to me in a few words, Mikasa was back in my house. I couldn’t fucking think straight. And it was particularly unfortunate because I needed to think straight in front of Armin. 

 He was one of those insufferable intellectual types, always had been. Even when he was fifteen, I remember him sitting at a corner at luncheons, looking down at the room of gangsters and corrupt politicians like he somehow knew better than them. To be honest, he probably did. But it didn’t make him any less insufferable. 

 Turning into the university parking lot, I pull into the VIP section. Ridiculous that universities even had such a thing, but there’s nothing money hasn’t corrupted in this city. How the fuck else did the children of the mafia end up with degrees? We sure as hell didn’t have the time (or the inclination) to study. 

 I did, once upon a time. Screamed at my father that I’d go to college, get an honest job and work the system the way it was meant to be worked. Swore I’d never become a criminal like him. A valiant thought, but laughable in retrospect. But that was how Armin and I actually got close when we were younger. We were both kids born to rotten families, who wanted to do better. Now, I guess at least one of us is working towards it. 

 Sure enough, he’s waiting for me where he said he would, cargo pants and a navy blue t-shirt, rucksack slung behind his shoulders. His hair has grown a bit longer, and it reminds me of Armin in school. He’d get bullied a lot by the jocks for looking like a ‘girl’, and Mikasa would stare them down every time. But now he’s the one staring me down. Funny how we’ve all grown up. 

 I jingled his house keys at him. We look at each other quietly, Armin through his glasses and me through the over-expensive pair of shades that make me feel thoroughly out of place here. It appears we’ve outgrown the hugs and the fistbumps we used to exchange once upon a time. 

 “Is that all?” He asks curtly. 

 “I’ll drive you home,” I tell him. “It isn’t safe for you to go by yourself at the moment.” I can see him roll his eyes as he walks around the car to the passenger seat.

 “You know, the average person is quite used to going about life without a bulletproof car, and firearms in his pockets,” he says, buckling himself in. I don’t know if he’s making assumptions or if he really is that fucking observant, but he was spot on. 

 “Your apartment’s been compromised,” I inform him, shifting the gear into reverse. And you’re not exactly an average person— as far as the political sphere went, Armin was practically royalty.

 He lets out a clipped, sarcastic laugh. “The entire city’s been compromised by the lot of you.” 

 I grit my teeth and decide to let that comment slide. When we were in school, we’d take my car sometimes and drive to the cliffs and watch the ocean below. Armin and I would chatter nonstop about how fucked up everything was, and how the city and its people deserved better. Mikasa would whack us on the head if we’d argue. Now, we just drive quietly. Armin looks out the window and doesn’t say anything to me.

 The streets are narrow and winding, especially because Armin lives bang in the city centre. When we get to the apartment, I hand over the keys and find a place to park, which isn’t exactly easy around here. The neighbourhood he lives in belongs to the Reiss family, and by not-so-well-known extension, us. It was a fairly recent cooperation between us, so I wasn’t surprised that Mikasa had chosen to stay here to get away from me. But the street in itself is crowded as shit, and in general, not a great place to live. It was littered with student bars and cheap imported knock-offs, and depending on the vendor you ask, you could get yourself whatever fix you desired. It attracted wonderful company; drunk students, desperate drug addicts, and traffickers that Rod Reiss loves to deny his involvement with. When I climb out of the car, I spot street peddlers eyeing me in ways they probably think are completely unobvious. I didn’t have to think twice about deciding to have Lin keep an eye on Mikasa from across the street. 

 We walk up the narrow staircase and into a small corridor. “Take off your shoes,” he states bossily, before opening the door and walking into a cosy little living room. It was probably only a little bigger than my bathroom, decorated with just a sofa bed and a TV, and a wall scattered with pictures and framed articles that Armin had probably written. He was sentimental like that. The pictures were mostly of him and his boyfriend, and some friends from university. In the corner, I think I can spot a picture of the three of us— Mikasa, Armin and I— Mikasa too shy to smile properly because it was probably from the time she wore braces. 

 “Mikasa said it happened in Jean’s room,” he says, finally allowing his worry to show on his face, and scurrying down the narrow corridor. You can tell it’s a student’s apartment, run on an income comprising of part-time music gigs at local bars, submissions to journals and newspapers, and a struggling model’s wages. Armin had refused his obnoxiously abundant inheritance from his Grandfather— ex-Mayor and at one point foreign ambassador— and decided to slum it. Or he was disowned for preferring dick but, really, I think the old man would have gotten over it eventually if Armin didn’t show him the middle finger and walk out. Ultimately it didn’t matter, his name carried weight wherever he went and even a disgraced Arlert would always have more pull than a nobody. But I think it was more the principle of it, for him.

 Armin runs into the room like a child and I have to pull him back because there’s glass all over the damn floor. I survey the floor carefully. Sure enough, it’s there— wedged in between the cracks of Armin’s ancient wooden flooring. I pick up the shiny little bullet carefully, rolling it between my thumb and forefinger, thankful for the sloppiness of the idiot who was assigned this job because if it was one of my guys he would have been instructed to go in and wipe the trail. But the closer I look, the more I start to wonder if it was even stupider than that— and as my thumb brushes the underside of the bullet, I recognise that our markings aren’t there. This wasn’t ours. We had a monopoly on arms distribution in this city. 

 Not only was this fucker trying to hurt Mikasa, he was also trying to smuggle arms into the city.

 The scene looks awful. Large, red letters screamed “You Owe Me” on the wall. It’s pig’s blood probably, but it manages to deliver the effect the artist intended for it. Armin has run into the bathroom. I can hear him retching in the background as I snap some pictures of it for evidence. I forgot that he was sensitive to the sight of blood. It was a good thing he’d distanced himself from his family. “The kid isn’t made for this kind of life,” Grandpa Arlert told me once, when Armin was out of earshot. He was right. 

 Despite the awkwardness between us, I enter his tiny bathroom and rub his back as he hangs his head over the commode. “That’s horrible,” Armin gasps, tears pricking his eyes. 

 “I know,” I murmur. I feel a kind of nostalgic protectiveness wash over me. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” 

 Depositing him on his living room couch, I ask, “You feeling better?”

 “Yeah.” He clears his throat. His eyes are still watery. “Yeah, sorry. I’ve never been particularly good with blood.” 

 “I know.” I can’t help but smile a little bit at that, at the fact that some things haven’t changed. Armin was a sensitive guy, something he’d gotten better at hiding thanks to high school bullies. It’s the part of him that cried to romcoms and classical music that I’d witnessed countless times when we were younger. 

 He looks a little embarrassed. “But it isn’t human blood, yeah?” 

 I shake my head, no. “Pig’s blood, probably.” 

 He nods. “What are you thinking?” Armin asks, quietly. 

 To be honest, nothing. There was literally nothing on my mind, I had no leads. I cracked my knuckles. “Not much, right now. I want to go home and run the make of this bullet because it isn’t ours.” Armin cocks an eyebrow at that. It was fucking strange indeed.

 “Do you think…” He takes a deep breath. “Do you think it’s related to that incident?” 

 “What do you—” Oh. Armin looks visibly uncomfortable. I grit my teeth. “... It’s been nearly two years, Armin.”

 I hated being reminded of this. Around a year and a half ago there was an incident where a couple who ran a restaurant— in our territory— was caught trafficking young girls into the country. We ran a lot of organized crime, but this was a hard line for me and Zeke. The only problem is that by the time the couple was ‘caught’ by us, they were already dead. Which meant somebody else was running this. These two were just unfortunate casualties in an attempt to cover this up. “We followed every lead we had…” And raided every single brothel or establishment under our jurisdiction that might be connected and shut them down wherever we found evidence.

 “Yeah, but we never found the person behind it. Just soldiers who wouldn’t speak, no matter how much you tortured them, right?”

 He recalled correctly. I’d worked them personally for hours, and they preferred to die rather than give up the asshole who started this whole thing. Whoever was behind it was an asshole, but a smart one. They’d covered their tracks perfectly, leaving no obvious links between them and the two men who carried out the attack. 

 The thing is, I’d fucked up. In the aftermath of it all, I was distracted. Because Mikasa was at the heart of it all— It was her parents’ restaurant. Her father was the one caught trafficking young girls. And he apparently had been for a long, long time. It only came to light because one of them escaped. I got the story from her later, after I’d pried the knife she’d used to kill the two men who brutally murdered her parents in front of her, from her shaking, near catatonic body, and taken her home. They were enforcers. There was a leak in the supply thanks to Mr Ackerman’s mishap, and they had come to clean up the mess.

 So by the time I’d sent someone else to sweep the scene, someone probably came in and cleaned up any evidence that pointed to the fucker behind this. 

 Armin looks thoughtful, “Have there been any other child trafficking incidents recently?”

 “I think you would have read about it by now, if there were.” 

 “Considering the extreme scarcity of truly independent media right now, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone had covered it up.” 

 Fury bristles within me at the insinuation that I would have covered something like this up. But I decide not to prod at it. Thankfully Armin’s smart mouth is happy to help. “Anyway, did you get in trouble with someone recently?” 

 I couldn’t help laughing at that. 

 “Ok, I guess that’s a stupid question to ask you,” he amends, grinning despite himself. “What about that idiot you waved your gun at that night at the club?” 

 I scowl at him, immediately anticipating his lecture. “Well, Mikasa doesn’t owe him anything. I didn’t do anything to him apart from some mild threats.” 

 Armin glares at me. “To a normal person, death threats of that kind are not considered mild.” 

 I smirk. “Galliard is exactly what you said,” I tell him. “An idiot. Not a threat.” 

 “What about the drug peddlers you slaughtered in Lower Sina?” I can hear the distaste that creeps into his voice. 

 “Has nothing to do with her.” 

 “None of it does, usually.” 

 What the fuck does that mean? It was on the tip of my tongue, but it was a pointless question. I knew exactly what he meant. I had no desire to hear it again. “I’ll get you some tea,” I tell him, standing up. 

 “Thanks, yeah, there’s some mint on the windowsill which you can use.” 

 I pluck some leaves from the pot of mint that Armin seems to have tended to quite lovingly and turn on the kettle. There are more pictures scattered all over his kitchen, taped on his cabinets and stuck to his fridge with magnets. I distract myself from the fresh reminder of Mikasa’s trauma and my past failures, with the pictures. More of him and his boyfriend— He and Jean had become a thing in college, so I didn’t know him too well, but they looked good together. He was taller than Armin, with a kind of arrogant horse-shaped face that made Armin look like an innocent little boy. It was a ruse; there was nothing innocent about Armin Arlert but the look worked well for him, helping him disarm people easily and gain their trust. And it seemed to have worked wonders on Mr Horseface. From what I’d learnt of him, he was a regular Joe, from a humble family. His dad was a truck driver and his mother worked in a bakery. 

 Mikasa would probably take offence at this, but I’d done some digging when I found out Mikasa went to live with them… I couldn’t have her living with just anyone without a background check. 

 She was there in a couple of the pictures too, some of them music gigs, some of them just drunk polaroid pics of him and her from university. She looked so fucking happy, it made my heart hurt. She looked so miserable when I left her today. 

 Just as I’m about to leave with our mugs, my eyes fall on yet another picture, taped to the side of the fridge. A bitter heaviness unfurls in my chest.

 The day I was initiated into the mafia, my Uncle offered me a ‘brilliant’ piece of wisdom. “You’re not a boy any longer, Eren,” he said, his hand heavy on my shoulder. He was drunk and gleeful about the fact that my father had finally succumbed and decided to induct me. 

 “You’re a man, now.” I was too overwhelmed to respond with any enthusiasm, what with the different facets of manhood I was forced to explore that night as part of tradition. “Yeah, well I wish I wasn’t.” I hadn’t even wanted to point out that in the eyes of law, sixteen wasn’t an adult. It’s not like these men cared much for the law, anyway. 

 He’d laughed at me, then, unsympathetically. “Well, wishes are for little boys. There are no candles for you to blow out, nobody to listen to these ‘wishes’ and make them come true, Eren.” Before he could even finish his sentence, something else had caught his interest. A young, very made up, very underdressed something. As I averted my eyes, he said, his grin audible, “You’re a Jaeger man. Whatever you wish for is yours for the taking. Nothing can stop you.” 

 My uncle was a fucking idiot who loved to talk out of his ass, but for the first time in a long long while, I find myself wishing again. An irrational, utterly pointless, but burning wish to go back to the night from the picture in front of me. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the kind of wish that was ripe for my taking.

 On the surface, it was an innocent picture. Three friends grinning ear-to-ear in front of an iPhone selfie camera from six years ago. Armin with his determined blue eyes, filled with ambition, Mikasa with her bangs styled in front of her forehead, lips painted red, flushed from the giddiness of the occasion. And me, before all this… just happy. Happy to be a part of this with my friends, even though I knew this was where we would part ways. It was the night of the Leaver’s Dance, where the graduating class got together for one last hurrah before they embraced adulthood. 

 I rip off the tape, and trace a finger over Mikasa’s face, over the cheek where she would now sport a scar. She has her arms around the both of us, cheeks smushed against each other. If you look closely enough, you can tell that I’m blushing. Now that I think of it, that’s probably how I was six years ago, blushing whenever she was close, not wanting to admit my overwhelming teenage feelings for her. 

 “All okay?” 

 Armin’s voice brings me back to the present, to the uncomfortable truth that I was no longer the boy in that picture.

 “Yep,” I say, gruffly. I push my palms back onto the counter, the photo crushed underneath one of them. 

 Armin’s eyes drift to my hand as he reaches for the mug I was supposed to bring him. “Trip down memory lane?” 

 I bring my own mug to my lips with my other hand. There’s no point answering Armin sometimes. He likes to ask these questions that he already knows the answers to, likes to sound like a smartass. The Eren in the photo used to be impressed with that. (The Armin in the photo used to be less smug about it.)

 “What happened that night?” He doesn’t sound smug now. He sounds softer, sympathetic even. It only irritated me further. The last thing I needed was pity for how I behaved that night.

 “I’m surprised Mikasa didn’t tell you.” 

 He shrugs off the passive aggressiveness in my tone. “You used to tell me things too, you know.” I stare at the submerged mint leaves in my cup. He isn’t wrong; Armin was my best friend once, I used to share everything with him. But that was before I started doing things I was better off not telling anybody about. 

 “She said she begged you not to go.” My eyelids squeeze shut. I can literally see the scene playing out behind them. Mikasa with the hotel sheets pooled at her waist, hair mussed up from the way I’d pulled on it all night. You said you wanted to change things. I could see the tears pooling in her eyes. You don’t have to go. Stay with me, Eren. You don’t have to listen to your father— 

 “How come you decided to go to Marley, anyway?” 

 I open my eyes, but even then I can’t get her face out of my head. “You know how it is. International experience and all that. Not too different from your semester abroad.” 

 Armin snorts. “I went to lectures in my semester abroad. Attended World Politics seminars. I don’t think forming relationships with suppliers was on the curriculum.” 

 “It’s not too different, really.” Actually, my father sent me to Marley for a year to schmooze filthy-rich politicians, who were interested in buying arms from us. We used a specific kind of riot suppression gear in Paradis, that worked well with the way cities here were built. It also worked well with our mob-policed streets. And it appeared to have caught the interest of more “peaceful” nations.

 “She was pretty fucked up after you left, you know.” He watches me carefully. “Back then,” he clarifies. “After high school.”

 I poured the rest of my tea down the sink drain. I was in no mood to hear any of this. “Yeah, figured you’d leave. This how you turned your back on her after she told you she loved you?” 

 “I didn’t turn my back on her,” I said, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible. “And she didn’t tell me she loved me.” Just the idea of it filled me with a sort of desperate longing.

 “God, you’re really stupid, Eren.” He looks at me in disgust. “So she didn’t spell out the words for you, is that it? That’s your excuse?”

 “I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to be making excuses for, Armin,” I say, whipping around at him angrily. “She asked me to stay. I couldn’t because I had obligations to fulfil.” None of which felt as important as her. The words that came after made me sick as I said them. “I didn’t owe her any more than that.” 

 On the surface of it, I wasn’t wrong. Mikasa and I didn’t really become a thing , until much later. Until a year ago, actually. But I could see my reflection in Armin’s eyes, looking like a sad, guilty motherfucker. Now I understood why he looked at me like that, pityingly, like he couldn’t comprehend how I could be so fucking stupid. Even I felt like punching myself in the face. 

 MIKASA

 I couldn’t sleep. Or maybe I’d slept too much. The drugs Hange had given me had knocked me out, just like Eren said it would. Vaguely I register that my surroundings are awfully familiar. After I’d passed out they’d moved me to my bedroom… what used to be our bedroom. The atrociously expensive piano he’d bought for me stood in the corner by the window, reminding me of all the times he’d ask me to play for him, and then teased me viciously until I messed up and went off-tune. 

 Wistfully, I wonder if it had watched over Eren this entire time that I’d been gone. I cringe as I hear myself, as if I’d been gone for a vacation, a trip to see the outside world before I’d run straight back into these gilded halls. 

 I feel stiff as I slipped out of bed. My clothes feel hot and uncomfortable, so I strip down to my underwear. Padding around to the walk-in closet, I stand in front of what used to be Eren’s dresser. It still was. I feel a bit guilty, intruding upon his things like this, but it feels strange being in this room this way. Without Eren. Without knowing if he’d even come back home, if he would come share this space with me like we used to. Especially after all the awful things I’d told him earlier today. 

 I give into temptation and reach for a white linen shirt that I see him wear for lunches sometimes. I used to think he looked handsome in it, so grown up and different from the boy I knew, now with a lazy bun behind his head and his hair swept back. I drape it around my shoulders and start to button it up. He would let me button it up for him sometimes. I don’t know if it’s my line of thought but my throat feels parched. 

 Stealthily, I head to the kitchen for some water. The lights are off so I guess it’s pretty late, but I still tug on the hem of the shirt as if it will magically cover more of my legs. 

 There’s a soft glow of a lamp coming from the kitchen and it makes me hesitate for a moment. I’d just rather avoid everyone at this moment—

 “I know you’re there, Mikasa.” 

 I swallow. Smoothening my hair nervously, I walk in and see Eren leaning against the kitchen counter, a glass of whiskey in hand. “I thought I was being quiet.”

 “Saw your shadow.” The lamp casts shadows on his eyes, making them look even darker, but I can see his gaze scour the length of my body, unsmilingly. 

 Tucking my hair behind my ear, I turn around and busy myself with filling some water in a glass. “... You’re back home late.” I try not to cringe at how wife-like my comment was.

 “It was a long day,” he says quietly. I can feel his stare at my back. 

 “With Armin?” 

 “Mm-hmm.” I can hear him refilling his glass. “I went to visit one of my men’s family after.”

 Suddenly he sounds so tired, defeated almost. I battle the urge to wrap my arms around him and comfort him. “Is everything okay?” I ask softly. 

 He lets out a clipped laugh. “I suppose, yeah. Things must be okay for him, now that he’s dead.” 

 “Oh my god,” I breathe, shock rushing through me as I drop my glass. It shatters in the sink. Even though I lived with him for nearly a year, I don’t think I could ever get used to the cavalier way he discusses death. It was an inevitability for everyone, but for Eren, it seemed so much more… urgent. Closer in a way. The possibility reared its head at every chance.  

 “Shit, I’m sorry,” I mutter, as I reach for the broken glass thoughtlessly. I hiss as it cuts the tip of my finger. 

 “Mikasa,” he says harshly. “Come here.” 

 I feel obedient and kind of silly, reacting like this in front of him and breaking his glassware. I wasn’t normally this much of a klutz. My mother raised me to be a perfectionist. But I got like this around Eren— silly, clumsy, like he knocked me off my bearings. Suckling on the tip of my index finger, I go to him. It’s a tiny cut, so apart from looking a bit red, it doesn’t hurt much. “I’m sorry about the glass,” I tell him earnestly. 

 Unwrapping my fingers in his hand, he surveys the damage. “Fuck the glass, Mikasa. Louise will clean up in the morning.” 

 I feel a creeping anxiety in my gut as I discreetly look at his clothes for any signs of blood or injury. “Are you okay?” He asks me, as if I am the one who just went to pay my respects to the family of a friend who died. “I’m okay,” I murmur. “What about you? Was there… an encounter or something?”

 He shook his head. His gaze is fixed on his glass as he swirled it absent-mindedly. “No. Nothing today.” His eyes are hooded as they meet mine. “Lin was trying to guard you. The person who attacked you killed him, before he tried to shoot you.”

 “ What ,” I breathe, choked. Someone died… trying to guard me? I feel sick. 

 “Don’t look like that,” Eren says brusquely. 

 I am still trying to process what he told me. “I shouldn’t look like what?” 

 “Like you’re telling yourself it’s your fault.” He runs a hand through his hair. “It was a job. He accepted these risks as part of it.” 

 He says this, but his tone is filled with remorse. He doesn’t meet my eyes. “Sounds like that’s what you’re telling yourself, though,” I tell him, softly. 

 He smiles a small smile, without humour. “I guess it’s different when you’re giving the orders.” 

 I wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault, either. It was somebody else who pulled that trigger. But I don’t know how to comfort him anymore, I didn’t know if I was allowed. So I just slipped a hand across to his and squeezed his palm. 

 He looks up at me surprised. But he recovers quickly. “So,” he clears his throat. “... You got your room back?” He says it with a small grin, an attempt at lighter conversation. 

 “It was our room, wasn’t it?” Eren used to have a different one, smaller, but I’d liked this one with its large windows and its walk-in closet. So he moved his things there eventually.

 He says nothing, just watches me as he sips on his whiskey. The air is thick with the awkwardness of my own doing.

 “I should, uh, get back to bed,” I whisper, starting to turn when I feel him take a step closer to me.

 “Do you really hate it so much?” His thumb is soft on my cheek and I am frozen in place. It feels like I’ve stopped breathing, and really, who cares, when I can feel his breath so close to mine, on my skin, seeping into my pores. His hooded gaze dips to my mouth. 

 I find myself licking my lips subconsciously. “What do you mean?” 

 “Staying with me,” he says. There’s whiskey on his lips and I can feel myself getting drunk on it even though they have barely touched me. “Just for a little while.” He smiles a sad, unhappy smile. “Before I set you free again.” 

 “It’s not like that,” I say, my breath raspy. He pushes a wisp of hair back behind my ears, and cups my chin. “I’m not your prisoner or something.” 

 “No?” He snorts derisively. “I think your friend might beg to differ.” 

 “What did he say to you?”

 “Nothing new.” He lifts the glass of whiskey to his lips. I watch his throat as he swallows. “Just that it’s my fault, every time you get hurt.”

 Armin. I want to tear my hair out in frustration. “And you believed it?” 

 Eren shrugs.

 “Why do you do that?” He was your friend too. “Why do you make yourself sound like this big bad guy—” 

 His mouth curves into a smirk. “I can’t say I haven’t thought about it.” His eyes darken. “Keeping you here, willing or not.”

   God . I can hear the irony in what I’m saying, “... You’re not really like that, I know it.”

 “I run the mob around here, Mikasa,” he says unsmilingly. Like I needed reminding. “Isn’t that why you left?” 

 A lump forms in my throat. I hate it when he talks this way, in absolutes, in black and white. He’ll never understand that before I saw this Eren, I saw my Eren, with his short hair and his dorky plaid shirts, lying on the grass as we stared at the blue sky together. The same one who held me after his initiation and cried because he felt lost in this world. “Eren–”

 “Mikasa,” he says. This girl, Mikasa, she sounds delicious, when he says her name like that, savouring the syllables of the word, like a hungry man. It makes me shiver. “Don’t answer that question. I don’t want to hear why you left. Not again. Not tonight.” 

 He places the glass down on the counter, his hands on either side of me as I find myself pinned underneath his frame. God, it was so easy to find myself in this man’s embrace, it felt effortless. “I wasn’t going to,” I say, breathlessly. 

 Slowly, achingly, he drops a kiss to my collarbone. I can feel it in my entire body, fueling me with a slow-burning desire that made the thin linen shirt I wore feel abrasive against my hardening nipples. He places another kiss, equally slowly, equally tentative, higher on my neck. I don’t know if he’s asking for my permission or testing his own boundaries, but I give my permission regardless, angling my head to give him more access. “Is this my shirt?” He asks. I hum in agreement, along with the rest of my body. A groan of satisfaction escapes his throat, vibrating against my skin. 

 “I don’t have my clothes here,” I murmur as if that was an explanation for why I stood in his kitchen now, clad in a thin white shirt of his, and nothing else, barefoot and bare-thighed. 

 “I’ll make sure they’re brought to you.” His hands slide up the bottom hem and come to rest on my hips. Swiftly, he hoists me onto the counter. It feels sharply reminiscent of the last time he had me like this, at his club, how he spread me out against the marble counter top and lowered his head between my legs. The thought sends a jolt of heat straight to my core. “Although I don’t really mind seeing you in my shirts.”

 “They’re, um—” A gasp escapes me as his thumbs skim the insides of my thigh, grazing my panties. My embarrassingly moist panties. “... Convenient,” I whisper. 

 His eyes widen as he probably realizes it, turning molten as they lift to mine, finally. One hand firmly gripping my thigh, he brings the other to my mouth, brushing his thumb against my bottom lip. I can smell how turned on I am, and I know he can too. “Mikasa,” he says, again, turning my insides aflame. The way he says my name, the way he looks at me, I can feel it in my bones, weak— He could’ve asked me for anything and I wouldn’t deny him. “If you want me to stop, and God, I hope you don’t, please say it now.” 

 I let out a shaky, breathless laugh. He’s got to be kidding. The way I felt now, I would do anything, beg on my knees for him to keep touching me like this. Wantonly, I run my fingers through his hair, clasping the loose strands on the back of his head in my hand. I leaned closer to his ear, teeth grazing his lobe as I whisper, “... Come to bed, Eren.” 

[rxdhairxdsirxns]

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 . ( nsfw edition. )

RULES: boldwhich option your muse prefers (or, in some cases, maybe just hates the least!) out of each of the following pair

submissive or dominant?

----- "I'm usually more on the submissive end, but I believe I have a decent record of being quite dominant."

whips or chains?

----- "Whips leave prettier marks, in my personal opinion."

handcuffs or shibari?

----- "I love the intimacy of being tied up in pretty knots~"

pillow princess or power bottom?

----- "I'm too much of a horny bitch to be a pillow princess. Only time I'll be like that is during my heat, but even then it's still unlikely."

voyeur or exhibitionist?

----- "Oh, it's absolutely delicious to show off in front of strangers~"

blindfolds or spreader bars?

----- "Sometimes the surprise and tension and buildup is nice."

butt plugs or vibrators?

----- "Not into ass stuff."

edging or multiple rounds?

----- "I can and will fuck you until you're shooting blanks and on the brink of collapse."

knots or ovipositor?

----- "I may be a little biased considering I have one, myself~"

spanking or scratching?

----- "Feels more personal and intense."

ball gag or muzzle?

----- Taryn just gives a wolfish grin with her monstrous snout. Enough said.

strap on or double sided dildo?

----- "Given that I've got a built in strap on, I think the latter would be a fun new thing to try."

one on one or group sex?

----- "Group sex gets annoying real quick if you're not familiar with everyone involved. Doesn't mean I haven't participated, though."

vanilla or kinky?

----- "Kinda both, but more leaning."

lengthy cocks or girthy cocks?

----- "I want that thing long enough to rearrange my guts."

small boobs or large boobs?

----- "Press them against mine~"

ass or chests?

----- "See my previous answer."

thighs or arms?

----- "Perfect for riding."

hot wax or knifeplay?

----- She's just uh... gonna be quiet on this one.

loud or quiet?

----- "If I can't hear you, I'm doing something wrong. And if you can't hear me, you're doing something wrong."

biting or sucking?

----- "Sink your teeth into me and let me return the favor~"

collars or piercings?

----- She quietly rubs a hand around the scar on her neck. Absolutely no collars.

costumes or lingerie?

----- "I'm not spending hundreds on dollars on something cheaply made that I'm only gonna wear once."

laughing & silliness during sex or intensity & power struggle during sex?

----- "Both are good, but if you're too serious during sex then it isn't a good time."

fucking a virgin or fucking someone with experience?

----- "I've had both, and they're very different experiences. I'd prefer someone with experience but I've got no problem taking the reins to teach someone."

face to face or from behind?

----- "Missionary because their eyes are pretty."

phone sex or sexting?

----- "Saving my voice for when they're home~"

cumming inside or cumming outside?

----- "Better not waste any of it~"

being filled or bukkake?

----- "Fill me up and make me yours~"

dirty talk or degradation?

----- "They kinda go hand in hand for me. Dirty talk and call me your needy little slut."

role play or porn on in the background?

----- "We can make better porn than those over the top actors~"

public edging or filming in the bedroom?

----- "This uh... happens a lot."

condom or bareback?

----- "Need I say anything?"

lube or raw?

----- "As if I'm not gonna have you sopping wet by the time we're ready to fuck~"

video call masturbation or sexy selfies?

----- "I like to tease the real show that's waiting at home~"

blood play or AND breath play?

----- "THEY BELONG TOGETHER, YOU COWARDS!"

face fucking or anal sex?

----- "Use my mouth. It's yours, after all."

leather or PVC?

----- "PVC is way too hot."

morning sex or evening sex?

----- "Sex all the time, but I like the soft intimacy of morning sex."

clothes on or clothes off?

----- "Let me see that body!"

TAGGED BY: @viciouslyfilthy

TAGGING: steal from me!

[astranva]

A Toast | TikTok Series

Word Count: 857

Category: Fluff

Warning: None, maybe one f-word

Summary: Harry does the “Let me raise a toast to the girl I love most in the whole world” TikTok trend.

 TikTok & famous!reader requests open!

..

Harry has always been a private person — that was something everybody knew about.

Sure, every now and then paparazzi would take pictures of the both of you that would later get posted but Harry’s team did their absolute best at protecting your privacy still.

The privacy was the reason behind the fans’ excitement at any moment Harry shared a snippet of his private life with them, let it be indirectly mentioning you in an interview or publicly acknowledging you in his shows.

But you were the fans’ favorite and you teased Harry about it at every chance you got.

Sometimes it felt like you were bribing them but hey, you were a fan once and you knew that posting TikToks of your boyfriend would, undoubtedly, make their day.

Your TikTok account was full of diverse content, having taken to the app during quarantine like so many people and sticking to it after.

It was a fun app, you could give it that.

Yes, you did enjoy sharing easy recipes and butchering the hell out of all these TikTok dances, but you couldn’t deny how giddy it made you feel whenever you posted a TikTok with Harry.

The fans basked in that content — especially that content.

They basked in the portrayal of Harry’s normalcy, and as crazy as that might sound, it made them feel more connected to he was as a person to see him behind the scenes; no fancy clothes, no microphones, no set, just him in lazy outfits being a normal boyfriend who falls for silly TikTok pranks.

Everyone was used to seeing your face first in your TikToks; you recording and posting. That was the norm. After all, it was your account.

What nobody was prepared for as they opened the app, was seeing Harry’s face, mouthing along to a TikTok sound through your account.

He was seemingly lying down, half of his TPWK black hoodie shown. Harry’s hair was ruffled, eyes a little lazy as if he had just woken up but with a dopey smile on his face.

“Let me raise a toast, to the girl I love most, in the whoooole world!”

He remained quiet as the little girl’s voice sounded, “Please don’t say my name, please don’t say my name-”

“Darla.” Harry mouthed, but your name was instead written in cursive, his smile widening more.

The music to Swing Lynn by Harmless began playing, and with it came transitions of your photos and videos.

The first one was a picture of you in Harry’s TPWK pink sweatshirt, standing in the middle of your living room as Harry had captured the moment of you laughing with your arms stretched out with your phone.

The next is a video Harry had also taken with your phone, as you painted his nails before looking up and laughing once you realized he was recording.

The next one was a picture you took of you, a selfie, during Harry’s first tour; your mouth opened in excitement, eyebrows raised up, with your back turned towards Harry to show him as he sang into the mic with his guitar around him but his face was towards you, eyes on you withs small smirk on his lips, your free hand pointing up at him.

The next one was a video of you and Harry, your friends around you, but neither of you seemed to care or focus on anything other than slow dancing together as you both talked and laughed, Harry seen talking, dimpled smile, as you replied then you both laughed together, you leaning on him as you did before he wrapped both arms around you to bring you to his chest, kissing you twice on your head.

The next picture was of you lying down, your friend’s cat sleeping on your stomach as you looked up at Harry, who was taking the pictures, and crying because of how emotional you were that the cat chose you to sleep on.

The next one was a video of you at a wedding looking glammed up, looking discreetly behind you as Harry recorded you with your phone, you stifling your laughter as you looked around you before stealing a small sandwich from the finger food table, and stuffing it into your mouth.

The final one was a picture of you sleeping, an “I ♡ Harry” written on your cheek with a black marker that he had taken the luxury of writing with on you, Harry posing beside you by grinning at the front camera.

You had just woken up from your nap when Harry was all over you, excited, “Check your phone.”

So, you did.

Harry wasn’t a stranger to TikTok trends, especially after Instagram created Reels, but you had laughed and cooed at him actually taking part of a trend on his own, just because.

“Everybody’s going crazy.” You laughed, skimming through the comments that were being put under the recently posted TikTok video on your account.

Harry chuckled, kissing your cheek once, “Do you like it?” He kissed your cheek again.

“You’re the boy I love the most in the whole world, too.”

And he fucking giggled.

[watchmegetobsessed]

An Ocean Away - Harry Styles

Sequel to Tastes Like Strawberries 🍓 !

a/n: ahhh! thank you so much for the love you showed TLS! i already had more planned for the story, but all your comments motivated me to do this part 2! it’s an emotional one so brace yourselves! further in the chapter i placed the song that inspired the title and i listened to it while writing so i suggest you do the same!

pairing: professor!Harry x Reader

warning: sexual content

word count: 12.7k

masterlist

You walk down the familiar hallway texting back Eden that you are not spending the night at home again.

Eden: You really need to tell me about the dick that keeps you so busy these days.

Y/N: I never said a thing about any dick.

Eden: Oh please, you surely got yourself a rebound after Harry, you can’t tell me otherwise.

Y/N: Don’t you get a rebound when you broke up with someone? I was never together with Harry, so it doesn’t make sense.

Eden: You had a thing!! Okay, whatever. Keep your little secrets, I guess it’s fine…

Y/N: Love you!

Chuckling to yourself you put the phone away and stop at the door you know all too well, knocking two times before you open it and poke your head inside.

Harry is sitting at his desk, his reading glasses sitting low on the bridge of his nose as he is vigorously scribbling something down into his notebook. He lifts his head at your arrival and you shut the door closed behind you.

“Hello, professor,” you smile at him teasingly, walking around his desk as he pushes himself back a little so you can sit on his lap, pecking his lips gently.

“Hey, done for the day?” he asks, his fingers tenderly stroking your thighs over the fabric of your jeans.

“Yeah. We can leave if you’re done,” you nod.

“Just a few more minutes, alright?”

“Sure,” you nod, standing up from his lap so he can finish his work while you sit on the little loveseat he has in the corner, right under the window.

It’s been six weeks since New Year’s Eve, the new semester has officially started, you’re working your way towards your degree as this is officially your last semester, but what’s more important that you and Harry have been a couple for six weeks following the heated actions of New Year’s Eve.

Harry is still quite anxious about the whole thing, always on high alert and he even asked you to lie to Eden and Nat too. You tried to fight him on that, but you could tell how much he wanted to protect what you had so you decided to feed them this elaborate story about how you and Harry had a fight on New Year’s Eve and realized that it would have never worked out so you agreed to stay just friends. It seems like they believed, because they’ve been keen on trying to set you up with someone while you just keep dodging their attempts, sneaking around with Harry behind their back.

Other than the continuous lying and sneaking around, things have been going well with him. You’ve been spending a lot of time at his place, the only hiding spot where you can be carefree around each other without always watching out for others around you.

Today is Valentine’s day and though your opportunities to celebrate are very slim, having anything that’s slightly public crossed out of the list, that still doesn’t stop the two of you from having a good night in.

You watch him curiously as he is reading the lines of someone’s essay probably, or some test, whatever. Holding the pen ready to use whenever he finds something incorrect, he furrows his eyebrows at something before crossing out a line, mouthing the words he writes to the side of the page. He doesn’t wear his glasses that often, but he’s been complaining about having dry eyes these past days so it’s no surprised he switched to them from his contact lenses.

“You look sexy in your glasses, have I told you that?”

He glances at you, a small smirk tugging on his lips before he returns to the paper in front of him.

“Think they make me look older,” he mumbles under his breath.

“Nah, not more at least than your grandpa sweaters,” you tease him, earning a ‘Really? This again?’ look from him that makes you chuckle.

You busy yourself while Harry finishes his work and then you head out together, strictly keeping the distance between each other. Walking out of the building Harry heads to the left where the car park is while you take a turn to the right. It’s been your usual, since you can’t have anyone see you get into Harry’s car so casually, so you usually walk down to the small café near Building D, because there’s a very narrow little street running behind it where you can get into the car without anyone noticing you. You do the same now too before finally heading back to Harry’s place. Sinking into the comfortable seat, you stare out the window, thinking about how it’s just been six weeks since New Year’s Eve, but it feels like you’ve been together with Harry for months. Despite his many doubts and hesitant act, it was easy to fall into a kind of routine with him, and even more easier to get used to the thought that he is yours and you are his.

During these six weeks you’ve learned quite a few things about him, things women on campus would die to know and they were handed over to you on a silver plate by Harry himself.

One, he is a very touchy person, of course, when he has the chance for it. In the safety of his home or when you have a few minutes for yourselves in his office, he always likes to have his hand on your back or waist, he loves touching your hips or cheeks, caressing the skin wherever it shows from under your clothes. He is also very cuddly, likes to wrap you in his arms when you’re watching TV and when it’s time to sleep the first thing he does is to pull you into his embrace. You usually wake up in the morning with him completely wrapped around you, limbs thrown over you, face buried into your chest or stomach. He is a messy sleeper, but also a fucking adorable one.

Two, he is a good cook but not that good at baking. He says it’s the universe’s sign that he shouldn’t eat as much sweet stuff as he does, but in reality he just sucks at measuring the ingredients. He never follows the recipe, easily goes with things his own way and then he is surprised when it doesn’t turn out as it should.

Three, he notices the smallest things you’d never. Like how you hate it when the Sun is shining right into your face so he always makes sure to draw the blinds in the evening, or that you prefer sleeping with more pillows so he just simply gives you an extra without even asking every time you’re spending the night. He cares so much about you to the smallest details, it always makes your heart flutter.

And four, though he keeps a tough act in school, he is a lovesick puppy when no one is around, likes to be the small spoon when cuddling, absolutely adores it when you cup his face in your palms and kiss it all over. Loves it when you play with his hair or when you hug him from behind, kissing between his shoulder blades. He always tells you how pretty you are and never misses a chance to sneak a kiss from you. You couldn’t imagine him do any of these before you really knew him, but now you see that all these little things are just as much parts of him like the version of him he shows at school. You feel lucky to be able to see him like this and you’ll probably never get bored of it.

Arriving to his place you drop your bag off at the bedroom before you join him in the kitchen, already eyeing the flyer to the nearby Italian place that delivers.

“How about pizza?” he hums, eyebrows knitted together as he scans the menu.

“Sounds good. Can we order dessert too?” Walking past him you kiss his shoulder before grabbing a glass for yourself, filling it with tap water.

“Oh, no need,” he shyly answers, glancing at you. “We… have dessert.”

You watch him with curious eyes as he disappears in his little study before emerging with a plate filled with pink cupcakes. They look wobbly, the cream on top is not the same on either of them, but because you know he made them, they are the most perfect you’ve ever seen.

He places the plate to the counter with a shy smile before turning to you.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he murmurs, hands finding your hips as he pulls you in for a kiss.

“Oh baby, did you stay up last night to make these?” you ask, touched that he took the time and energy to surprise you with something. Harry nods and you kiss his dimples softly.

“Mm, they are strawberry flavored,” he smirks boyishly.

“We are never escaping strawberries,” you chuckle softly as you dip your fingertip into the cream on top of one of the cakes, tasting it. “Hmm, this is actually good,” you tell him.

“Yeah, the cream is kind of okay, dunno about the rest though,” he admits chuckling.

“As long as it’s not poisonous, I’ll love it,” you giggle kissing his lips again softly. “Alright, but I can’t go over the fact that we agreed on no gifts for Valentine’s Day,” you say giving him a look.

“S’not a gift, just… a little gesture,” he shrugs innocently.

“Okay, then you can’t get mad over my little gesture,” you smirk at him, peeling his arms off you before you run into his bedroom to get his gift.

You really weren’t planning to give him anything, but you had a good idea last minute and couldn’t just not do it. Digging into your bag you pull out the little box and join him in the kitchen again, handing it to him.

“It’s not fair if you spent money on it,” he pouts, but you just roll your eyes.

“You spent money on the cupcakes too. But besides, I didn’t spent a penny on it. Open it!” You urge him.

Harry huffs but takes the lid off, revealing a stack of Polaroid photos. In this not too ideal situation the two of you are living in, there’s no chance you can ever post anything about him, even though there are quite a few cute photos of you with Harry. Eden recently bought a Polaroid printer and you borrowed it to print your favorite pictures of the two of you. There’s one from the morning after New Year’s Eve, just a silly selfie you took in bed, then one with the band from Harry’s birthday recently, a photo of the two of you backstage of one of his gigs you took in the mirror, he has his guitar in his hands as you stand next to him smiling widely. There are a few more with Sarah, Mitch, Charlotte and Adam and at the very end of the stack… some special ones.

You watch him go through them smiling warmly until he reaches the last few and freezes. You took the courage to take a few spicy ones of yourself in your favorite lingerie and thought it would be sexy to print them out as well and give them to him.

“I hope you’re not thinking about selling them already,” you chuckle. Harry glances up at you before shaking his head with a playful smirk.

“Was just a little surprised by them,” he admits.

“Do you… like them?”

“Oh baby, I love them, you look… wow,” he breathes out going over the pictures one more time. “But I’m gonna have to lock these away so no one finds them. Adam likes to go over my stuff when he is over, I definitely don’t want him to find them.”

“You better keep them safe because if anyone sees them I’m burying myself,” you snort.

Harry puts the stack of photos back into the box before leaning down he cups your face and kisses you gently.

“Thank you, love the pictures. All of them,” he adds cheekily and you feel yourself blushing.

He leans in to kiss you again, putting the box aside to the counter and this time it’s not just one short kiss, he carries it on, taking his time with your lips, savoring and tasting you without a worry in the world. It grows more and more passionate, tongues clashing and you tug at his hair, lacing your fingers through his locks, a moan escaping his pink lips.

You start inching backwards until your backside meets the edge of the counter. Harry doesn’t hesitate to pull your sweater off of you, throwing it behind before his lips are pressed against yours again. It doesn’t take long for his shirt and pants and your jeans to end up on the floor somewhere behind him, leaving you both in just your underwear. You kiss down his neck and collarbones, your lips gliding across his tattooed chest as you slowly slide down to your knees, hands moving over his growing bulge.

Hooking your fingers into the elastic of his boxers, you tug them down and pull his erection out, already so hard for you and you barely even touched him.

“What does my Valentine deserve for making me cupcakes?” you hum, teasingly pumping him a few times with your hands. Harry whimpers under your touch, but doesn’t answer so you stop your hands and look up at him. “Talk to me, what do you want?”

“Your mouth,” he breathes out, his eyes meeting yours, filled with lust and hunger only for you. Smirking to yourself you lick his length up before gently kissing the head, swirling your tongue around the tip before you slowly take him into your mouth.

“Oh fuck, baby!” he pants when you start bobbing your head, pumping the base in sync with your head’s movements.

His hand comes to the back of your head, fingers lacing through your hair. He doesn’t force you, he never does, just likes to hold onto you. You try to take him deeper and deeper with each movement until you fit his whole cock into your mouth, keeping it there for a few seconds before pulling away and letting him go.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he mumbles, helping you up from the floor, kissing your lips hard as he is already pulling your panties down your legs. “How do you want it?”

“From behind,” you tell without hesitation, turning around so you can lean onto the counter and push your ass up for him.

You feel one of his hands stroke down your spine while the other one reaches between your legs, his fingers finding your clit, drawing gentle circles on it at first before he goes a little harder, making you moan his name.

“Harry, please!” you beg, the need to feel him growing with each passing second.

He pulls his hand back, grabbing his hard cock as he lines himself up with you, one hand on his shaft, the other one holding your hip firmly to keep you in place. First he pushes just the tip inside and when he is sure you’re ready to take more, he slides all of him inside, filling you up perfectly.

“Shit, you feel so fucking good. Always so good,” he breathes out, both his hands coming to grip your waist as his hips meet your ass from behind.

He starts moving, going a little soft at the beginning before he gets rougher, his hips smacking against your ass with each thrust. You arch your back and push your ass up so you’re angled just perfectly for him, he runs a hand up your back, sliding it under the clasp of your bra and he leaves it there while fucking you from behind oh so well.

“Harry, oh my God!” you groan when he starts hitting that one spot that makes you go crazy.

“Feeling good, baby?”

“Fuck! So good!” you gasp, feeling the pleasure building up with each thrust. “Go harder!” you beg and once he has both hands on your hips again he does as you asked, railing into you hard, making you keep gasping for air.

“Getting close? Tell me when you’re about to cum, baby.”

“I’m close, please don’t stop!” you pant, hands holding onto the counter’s edge for dear life.

He reaches around you, a hand coming between your legs as his fingers find your clit again, adding to the sensation as he starts playing with it just the way you like it.

“Fuck, fuck! I’m gonna cum! Harry!” you moan uncontrollably and he growls deeply from his chest.

“Cum with me, baby. Give it to me,” he breathes out sharply and he just keeps railing you hard, fingers working on your clit until he feels your walls clench around his dick. “Oh fuck, yes, baby! Cum on my cock!” he gasps and at the same time as you go through your orgasm, you feel him twitch inside you, coming hard with you at the same time. “Jesus fuck! I love you, Y/N!”

You gasp at his words, eyes snapping open in the middle of your orgasm and all air pushes out of your lungs for a moment.

He whimpers and moans, thrusting into you a few more times before he comes to a halt, both of you panting like crazy, coming off your high. When he slowly slides his softening cock out of you, you turn around and look into his eyes. For a moment you thought he just said it in the heat of the moment and he didn’t even realize it, but when your eyes meet his, you can tell he is a little afraid of what your reaction is going to be.

“Did you mean that?” you quietly ask as he tucks his dick back into his boxers, pulling them up, but you don’t bother to put your underwear back on, standing there in only your bra.

“I-I did. I didn’t mean to say it now, but I did mean it,” he nods. “Is it… too soon?”

“No,” you smile at him, stepping closer so you can cup his face in your palms, kissing his lips softly. “I love you too.”

“You do?” he asks, surprised at your reaction.

“Of course, silly. I wouldn’t give my nudes to someone I don’t,” you joke making him chuckle, his arms coming to curl around your waist.

“Sorry, this wasn’t too… romantic,” he breathes out and you press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“You said you love me while fucking me on Valentine’s Day after exchanging cute gifts. I think it’s romantic,” you chuckle, finally making him smile. “Besides, I don’t care about the setting, just feels nice to hear you say it.”

“Yeah?” “Mhm, care to say it again so I can see your eyes as well?”

“I love you,” he softly murmurs, his forehead resting against yours.

“Yeah, feels better when I can actually look at you,” you chuckle kissing him softly. “I love you too.”

It’s definitely not just fun and games, being in a secret relationship that no one can know about. It surely adds a lot of tension into the situation, having to be so careful all the time and be reserved to the point where you can’t even be seen too often together.

As the semester carries on you always keep your ears open if there’s anything going on about you and Harry. Though you only limit your time together on campus to the bare minimum, only talking on rare occasions, you still want to make sure no one is getting the wrong (or right) idea about what is going on between the two of you.

The worst part is probably having to lie to Eden and Nat all the time. You spend about three nights at Harry’s every week and you have to lie every time you leave. After a while you tell them that you’re dating this new guy but he wants to keep it low-key because he recently broke up with his previous girlfriend. That gives them enough peace not to nag you all the time but you can tell they really want to meet this new man in your life.

You’ve tried to discuss it with Harry, tell him that they won’t tell anyone but it ended in a fight and you kind of gave up. Harry is way too keen on keeping it a secret and it’s clear he is not gonna make any exceptions. At least it’s the same with his friends, the two of you act like just friends when you’re out with the band though you have a suspicion that Sarah can see through the act. However she chooses not to talk about it so it’s kept hidden.

You don’t fight much with Harry, but when you do, it’s major. You both can get really into the argument and it easily gets way too heated, turning into a screaming match until you both realize you should just talk it out and have a little more understanding for each other. The makeup sex after a fight however… that’s something that makes up for every nasty thing that’s said in the heat of the moment.

Nearing the end of the semester you both start to grow more stressed, you about finishing your last classes, your thesis and studying for your finals, Harry about the growing pile of essays and tests waiting to be graded. A lot of the time when you’re at his place you both are busy with your own stuff and only have the chance to actually be with each other when you go to bed. It takes a toll on the both of you, but you’re determined to make it work. Despite the unfortunate nature of how you are forced to maintain your relationship, it’s the healthiest one you’ve ever head and you definitely won’t give up on it too easily.

Though you, Nat and Eden turn in your thesis works mid-April, the semester is still not done for the three of you, the final exams are threateningly close at this point. Spring has officially kicked in, the weather is mostly clear and sunny, allows you to stay outside again and you take advantage of it.

One particular afternoon the three of you are lounging under the pergola, all three of you buried in a book or your notes when you spot Harry walking towards the building. You keep your eyes on him as he slowly approaches you, his gaze meets yours and he smiles at you shortly. It’s all you can get out in the public, but it’s more than nothing.

“Isn’t it hard to see him?” Eden asks and glancing her way you see that she is looking at Harry who is now busy with his phone.

“Why would it be?”

“I don’t know, you clearly had a thing for him and it wasn’t even just a one-sided flirting like every other women had with him. I couldn’t be around him if it happened to me.”

“It’s not like anything major happened. It was all bad timing and the situation wasn’t good. It’s better this way,” you tell her, trying to sound convincing while the guilt is eating you on the inside. All these lies are clouding over your head and you have a feeling they will come down on you pouring one day.

“Still crazy that you are friends with his friends though,” Nat chimes in, squinting her eyes in the sunshine.

“Yeah, you are literally the only person on campus who gets to see him in his private life,” Eden nods. If only they knew how much you see him privately!

“It’s not that crazy,” you shrug, turning back to your book.

You all get back to work, forgetting about Harry, or at least Nat and Eden does, because you get a text from him shortly after he disappeared in the building.

Harry: You look very pretty today :)

Y/N: Flirting with me on campus, professor?

Harry: Can’t help it.

Y/N: You look handsome too, it’s a shame I can’t kiss you stupid!

Harry: Patience!

 “Y/N? Did you hear what I said?” Nat grabs your attention from the phone and you realize she was talking to you.

“What? Uh, sorry.”

“I said that we should go out this weekend. It’s been ages since we last did anything other than studying.”

“I’m not sure…”

“Don’t come with your usual, rambling about how we shouldn’t have any fun before we finish,” Eden rolls her eyes.

“That’s not what I say. I just think that we have priorities.”

“I don’t know about you, but it’s a priority for me to have fun, so I’m down for a night out.

“I think I’m passing,” you mumble. You already made plans for the weekend with Harry, take a hike up the hills since the weather has been nice and it would be great to spend time together outside the house. The hiking routes are far away enough from town that uni students don’t like to take the hustle to drive all the way out so you’ll be fine being together outside.

“If you want to say that you have something planned with your mystery man, don’t even bother. If it’s not his birthday, we are overruling him,” Eden scoffs and you roll your eyes at her.

“Just go without me.”

“That’s not the same!” Nat whines. “Come on, Y/N. For once choose us!”

“That’s rude I choose you guys a lot of times!”

“Not since you’ve been spending half your life with some man and the other half in the library.”

“Yeah, we feel abandoned!” Nat pouts at you, trying to make you feel bad and in all honesty, she is succeeding.

“We can doll ourselves up, have fancy cocktails and all that, it’s gonna be fun! Come on, just one night! I can’t take another Saturday sitting in my room, reading my notes,” Eden growls and you sigh in defeat.

“Alright, I guess I’m in,” you mumble and your friends start cheering as if you just declared that men and women are going to get paid equally from now on.

You can tell Harry is bummed that you have to cancel your weekend plans, but he is also trying to be understanding.

“I couldn’t bring up a relevant argument so they made me say yes,” you growl when later that day you’re cuddling on his couch after dinner.

“S’fine,” he sighs, leaning down he pecks your lips shortly.

“Wish I could just tell them that I had plans with you,” you breathe out.

“Y/N…” “I know!” you roll your eyes. “It’s just that it would be nice if I could at least tell them the truth.”

“We already talked about this,” he sighs.

“I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that it bothers me,” you point out. “Am I not allowed to feel that way?”

“You are, I just don’t get why you keep bringing it up when there’s literally nothing I can do about it,” he retorts.

“Well there is, you just choose not to.” And with that, you officially pick another fight with him.

It’s not that you enjoy fighting with him, not at all, but the situation is so not ideal and you find his overprotectiveness a little too much at times. You don’t understand why you can’t share it with your two closest friends. You could at least tell Sarah or the other guys, have anyone know about the two of you, but literally no one on Earth knows that you are a couple and it’s bugging you way more than it probably should.

“Why are you so damn keen on making others know about us? What does that have to do with anything?” he growls throwing his hands into the air, standing in the opposite end of the room as you keep pacing the floor, the urge to keep on moving taking over you.

“Because—“ you snap, but stop yourself. You know if you say it out loud, he’ll think you’re stupid.

“Because what?!”

“Because i-it makes me feel like we are not even real! I can’t talk about us, I can’t touch you outside of this house, no one knows we are a thing and it’s so fucking nerve-wrecking, Harry!” you break down, feeling your throat closing up. You didn’t mean to get emotional over this, but you’ve been bottling it up for a while now.

Harry’s shoulder fall forward as he sees the change in you, the heat of the fight long forgotten. He crosses the room, hands reaching up to cup your face in his palms, his thumbs running across the soft skin under your eyes as he wipes the tears away.

“Baby, I know. You think I don’t want to show you off? I want to hold your hand and just take a walk with you, kiss you whenever I want to, show all the horny fratboys on campus that you’re taken. I know it’s hard, but we really don’t have a choice until the end of the semester.”

He gently kisses the tip of your nose before pulling you to his chest, your arms circle around his waist as you bury your face into the crook of his neck, trying to stop your sobs.

“I’m sorry. I really wish it was all different,” he murmurs, kissing into your hair softly.

“No, I’m sorry for bitching about this all the time. I knew what we were getting into,” you exhale sharply. “It just… really sucks.”

“It does. But we just have to be patient.”

You manage to put the fight behind and move on in peace, but a tiny thought remains buzzing in the very back of your mind. What happens when you finish school? Will it all be different? Harry will still be a professor and if people see you around together, they will know you were one of his students. What’s gonna be the difference? If he is so on edge now, something is telling you he won’t be changing dramatically and it concerns you. A lot.

Not willingly, but you go out with Nat and Eden on Saturday. You go to a place that’s quite popular between students, you can most likely always find familiar faces from lecture halls and classes. It’s close to campus and more on the cheap side, the perfect spot for uni students for a night of fun.

As expected, you run into some people from school and they invite the three of you to sit with them at their table which comes in handy, because there’s no empty place by the time you arrive.

One drink follows the other and you easily get tipsy especially because you skipped on dinner before heading out. Though you weren’t in the mood for tonight, you find yourself enjoying the conversation and the company. It really has been long since the last time you went out with the girls and it’s nice to spend some time with them without the books and notes.

A debate starts about whose course one of the boys, Jace should take next semester.

“Professor Peltz is fucking boring, dude,” Nat growls, taking a sip from her drink. “Had him last semester, I could barely stay awake during his lectures.”

“Yeah, but they say he gives good grades easily,” Jace argues.

“Okay, but who else can you choose from again?” Lydia, a girl who lived a few doors down from you when you lived in a dormitory your first year.

“Um, Professor Makley and Professor Styles.”

You freeze at the mention of Harry, especially upon hearing Lydia’s reaction.

“Jace, choose Professor Styles! He is so fucking hot!”

“Not that it matters to me, Lyd,” Jace chuckles.

“Oh come on, I know even guys think he is hot.”

You feel like an intruder in the conversation, keeping quiet as you listen to her rave about how hot she finds Harry. It’s like you are eavesdropping on something that wasn’t meant for your ears, but it’s just the guilt bubbling inside you once again, because you know you won’t be able to say a word without having to lie.

“She has a point,” another guy, Garrett chimes into the conversation. “The man is handsome and I’m not even ashamed to admit it.”

“See?” Lydia chuckles. “He is sexy and smart, the whole package. I’ve been daydreaming about him since first year.”

You catch Eden’s look, but you just busy yourself with gulping from your vodka cranberry, feeling uncomfortable in the situation but not even for the reason she thinks. Eden must think it’s weird because you had an actual thing with Harry, but the truth is… that thing is still very much ongoing.

“I would let that man do whatever he wants with me,” Lydia adds sighing longingly, and you are having a hard time to hold your tongue. Unfortunately, you don’t succeed.

“Not sure he wants anything to do with you,” you mumble into your drink and though you hoped your comment would stay unnoticed, but you are out of luck.

“You don’t know that for sure,” Lydia slyly replies, a bit too full of herself for your liking. Yes, she is pretty and definitely doesn’t have problem with guys, but she is a little too confident about Harry if you’re being honest.

“I’m sorry?” you ask with a soft, bit annoyed chuckle.

“I’m just saying that we’ll never know who he finds attractive, because we all know he keeps himself so far from his students.”

“Yeah, maybe because he is not interested in any of his students,” you point out.

“As if he would ever make a move on any of us,” she snorts and you are losing your temper. You shouldn’t have had so much to drink, because now you really can’t hold your tongue.

“You can never know, Lydia. You can’t know if he acts the way he does because he is just trying to be professional or because he is, and consider this, not interested in you. Maybe he would actually act up on his feelings but you’re just not his type.”

Your comment is more like just a harsh comeback to Lydia’s words, but Nat and Eden kind of catch on that something is up with you. Ignoring their questioning looks you chug down your drink and soon excuse yourself to get some fresh air. No surprise that they follow you like puppies.

“Girl, what was that inside?” Nat asks as the three of you stand near the entrance of the bar, a few smoking guests littering the area.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” you mumble, clearly avoiding to look at any of them, wrapping your arms around your upper body as if you were trying to keep your shit together physically.

“You snapped at Lydia for saying Professor Styles might have a thing for her,” Eden points out, but you just bite the inside of your cheeks.

“Because it was bullshit.”

“Why does that matter to you? Not that you’re together with him or something,” Nat argues and you roll your lips into your mouth, trying to keep a straight face but they know you way better than that. They gasp at the same time, Eden grabbing your forearm forcefully that makes you scowl.

“Hey! That hurts!” you whine, but she couldn’t care less.

“Are you fucking around with Professor Styles?” Nat whisper yells at you, eyes wider than ever.

“I mean… we’re not fucking around,” you mumble, looking down at your shoes as you kick the dirt around. “We’re kinda serious.”

“Holy fucking shit!” Eden snaps, drawing some attention at her and you let out an awkward chuckle at the glances the three of you get. “Are you fucking joking right now?”

“No, I am… not,” you admit, feeling a little relieved that you finally said it, but you also feel like you let Harry down with it.

“How long?” Nat questions in shock.

“Since New Year’s Eve. So… almost four months.”

“So he is the one you’ve been seeing all this time? The guy you didn’t want to talk about?”

“Um, yeah. It’s not that I didn’t want to talk about him, we just agreed that it’s safer if no one knows.”

“I’m speechless, Y/N,” Eden shakes her head in disbelief. “I can’t fucking believe you kept it from us for this long!”

“I know, I felt so shitty, but it’s such a complicated situation, it’s so risky, we don’t want it to ruin us.”

“Obviously,” Nat nods understandingly. “And now I see why you snapped so harshly at Lydia.”

“I just couldn’t stand her talking like that. You guys have no idea how hard it is to keep every fucking thought to myself.”

“Why do I have a feeling it has a little more to it than to just Lydia drooling over Harry?” Nat arches an eyebrow at you, folding her arms over her chest.

“Yeah, you’ve been oddly tensed lately,” Eden agrees.

“It’s just pretty stressful to have a secret relationship, it causes a lot of tension. And I’ve been… I’m not sure anything is going to change after I graduate, if I’m being honest.”

“What do you mean?” Nat asks.

“I just…” you sigh, all your thoughts you kept to yourself flooding back to you at once, overwhelming you in a situation that’s already a bit too much to handle. “We keep saying that it’s gonna change when I graduate, but I don’t see it. He is so overprotective and even if I graduate, people will find out that I was once his student. And it might not be against the rules anymore, but we’ll be judged. I didn’t think it through before, but it’s now starting to be more and more clear for me and I just… don’t know if we can make it work.”

You feel the tears forming in your eyes, you’ve been keeping this to yourself for way too long now and saying it out loud just broke the dam. When Nat and Eden sees your lips trembling and the watery eyes you’re trying to blink away, they don’t hesitate to pull you into a tight hug.

“Aw, don’t cry! It makes me want to cry too!” Nat chuckles softly as they sandwich you between them.

“It just sucks so much, because I love him, but I feel like we met at the wrong time and place,” you sob, letting them crush you.

“It happens, baby. It happens. You’ll figure it out!” Eden kisses your forehead before they let go of you. “Want to go home?”

“It’s still early, don’t want to kill the party. I think I’ll just… head over to Harry’s for now. Is that okay?”

“Of course, do whatever makes you feel better,” Nat assures you, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

“I’m sorry I was such a party pooper.”

You call yourself an Uber and text Harry that you are going over. Twenty minutes later you are walking up the stairs to his house and he opens the front door before you could even reach for the doorknob.

“Hey, baby,” he breathes out softly and you don’t say a word, just wrap your arms around his waist, burying your face into the crook of his neck. “Hey, what happened? Didn’t have a good time with your friends?” He delicately caresses your hair, walking the two of you inside so he can close the door before wrapping both his arms around you, holding you close to his chest.

“Don’t really want to talk about it,” you mumble and it’s the truth. You’re tired of these thoughts though you know you should talk to him about how you’ve been feeling about the two of you lately. Part of you is hoping something will just magically solve the whole situation and you won’t have to deal with it yourself.

Harry makes you a tea while you take a shower and once you are both in bed, you cuddle to his side while he reads some. You are just genuinely enjoying his closeness, because despite everything that’s been haunting you in connection with Harry, you really love this man. Like no one else before and the possibility of the two of you not making it long term scares you more than it probably should.

The next few weeks come and go in a sense of numbness. Following your emotional breakdown in front of the bar, you kind of push the whole thing to the back of your mind once again, putting all your focus on finishing school. Neither you nor Harry has the energy to put up more fights though you both can feel there’s a lot to talk about, but the end of the semester is just keeping you both way too busy to acknowledge the problems waiting on the corner.

At least there’s one less weight on your shoulders now that Nat and Eden know about you and Harry. You made them swear to their life they won’t tell anyone and you trust them to keep this heavy secret. They’ve been very supportive of the two of you, interrogated you one evening about everything that happened so far, they wanted to make sure Harry treats you the right way. No surprise, he does.

A few weeks before your state exam Harry extends his contract with the school to have him as a professor for another academic year so he is able to keep his visa as well.

You spend your last two weeks buried in your notes before your state exam and Harry gives you all the time and space you need, knowing well how much it means to you to earn the best grade possible.

When you are finally over your exam, you are celebrating at his place. He has bought a little cake and some champagne and you can’t wait to finally spend some time with him without having to worry about your studies.

“I’m proud of you, baby,” he smiles at you, clinking his glass against yours.

“Thank you, feels nice to be finally free,” you chuckle before taking a sip from the champagne.

“My smart girl, knew you’d kill all your exams.” He kisses your lips shortly before squeezing your hand. “How about I run a bath for us, we eat the cake in the tub and then we can watch a movie?”

“Sounds fantastic,” you smile at him before he disappears in the bathroom to get everything ready.

Finishing your champagne you wash the glass quickly and you’re about to cut the cake when your phone buzzes signaling that you’ve just gotten an email. As pull down the notification bar your lips part reading the first few lines. You open the whole thing and read through it eagerly.

It’s a job offer, but not just some lame one that also sounds sketchy at the same time. This one is from one of the biggest investigation offices in London and they are offering you a trainee position as a forensic document examiner with a possible secured spot on their team after one year. The money sounds amazing, the position is perfect, just what you’ve been dreaming of once you are done with school and they are looking forward to hear back from you about a possible interview in the near future.

“Alright, bath is coming together nicely, want to cut the ca—Wha’s up?” Harry questions upon returning from the bathroom, finding you staring at your phone’s screen with widened eyes.

“I, uhh—I just got a… a job offer,” you stutter, still rereading the lines, trying to find a sign that tells you it’s just a joke, but it seems completely genuine.

“What? Baby, that’s amazing!”

“Yeah,” you nod swallowing hard before you look up at him. “It’s in London.”

You watch his face fall from excited and happy to shocked and kind of panicky. You both know what that means, it doesn’t have to be said out loud. Harry just signed another year with the university that’s gonna tie him here for the next 12 months and if you accept the job you’ll be all the way across the world in the UK. Kind of ironic, him, the British guy stuck in the States while you, the American in the relationship, eager to go to the UK.

“That’s… wow. London.”

“Yeah, London,” you nod biting the inside of your cheeks.

“Are you… Are you gonna take it?”

“Well, they want an interview with me, but this is clearly a huge opportunity for me,” you say, not wanting to say the actual words. You feel like saying them would hit you harder than what you can take.

“It clearly is, it’s just that… You want to leave?” he breathes out, eyebrows knitting together.

“This is my only job offer and probably the best I’ll ever get.”

“So you do want to leave,” he forces and it’s pushing your limits.

“Career-wise, of course!” you finally say out loud, unwillingly.

“And what about everything else?”

“I clearly don’t want to leave everything else here, but I will never get a chance like this, Harry. This is the greatest push for someone like me, fresh out of school. I can have a secured spot in a year at a well-respected place. I’m not really in the position to reject offers like this.”

He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, clearly unsure about what to do or say in the situation on his hand. You can tell he has a lot to say, but you’re not sure you want to hear all of them.

“Say something?” you softly plead and his eyes meet yours again, filled with concern.

“I just… It took me by surprise, I guess.”

“I wasn’t expecting it either.”

“No, not the job offer,” he shakes his head.

“Then what?”

“That you are ready to leave so easily. It’s like you never even wanted to discuss a version where you stay here, you just decided that you are leaving and that’s it.”

“Did you hear me? I cannot pass on this opportunity, Harry.”

“I did hear you,” he nods, pressing his lips together. “I heard that you didn’t even think about saying no.”

“Why would I say no?”

“Because I’m here, Y/N!” he snaps. “Good to know that I’m not a factor when it comes to decisions as big as leaving the country!”

“You are, Harry, but I need to think about my future career now. I’m not planning to work at an office for the rest of my life and if I pass on this job I might never get anything as good as this one,” you explain, but it seems like the two of you are having two different conversations.

“But why do I feel like it was never an option for you to stay?”

You give him a confused look. He really doesn’t see your point.

“Okay, why was only I supposed to change plans for us? You coming to London doesn’t feel like an option either, why are you trying to turn this against me?”

“I just extended my contract, you know that.”

“I do, and also, while we are at it, you didn’t ask me about that either. You didn’t even wait for me to figure out what I want to do after school, you just assumed that I would be here, but I never said that.” You can tell it hit him hard in the chest but somehow still, he thinks he is right when he isn’t.

“How could have I known you’d want to move across the globe?” he throws his hands up into the air.

“You’re saying this as if I didn’t just get the email and I’ve been plotting this the whole fucking time!”

“I’m just saying that it’s a huge fucking step and you decided so easily, it says a lot about the nature of our relationship.”

“Why are you saying that?!” you snap at him. “Why are you trying to make me the bad guy?”

“I’m not! I’m just saying that it would have been nice if you at least pretended like it was up for debate. You know what it’ll do to us if you move to London.”

“Then come with me!”

“I can’t!” He raises his voice, clearly losing his temper. “I can’t break my contract and you know that too.”

“Well, I can’t afford to say no to the job either and if I’m being honest, I don’t think we could have made it work even if I stayed.” The words leave your mouth before you could think about them, and the cat is finally out of the bag. It seemingly shocked Harry and he is now staring at you with a blank expression, shoulders falling forward.

“What?” he breathes out and you can actually hear his heart breaking. You take a deep breath and rub your face with your palms, trying to collect your thoughts and not just blurt everything out.

“I’ve been thinking and… Even after I’m officially out of the school, people will know that I was your student if they see us together. And I know how important your reputation is for you so I would never put you through any of the shit we might get for us being together. People would judge, no matter what the situation is. I don’t… I just don’t think we can ever make it work here.”

He stays silent, just stares at you, taking in your words and once again, you wish you could read his mind. You almost start begging him to say something when he finally speaks up.

“So you think we don’t have a chance?”

“Not here… maybe not now. I feel like this has been the perfect example of wrong place, wrong time,” you quietly say, a pang of guilt in your tone, this is not how you planned on making this conversation. To be honest, you wished this never had to come, but you were out of luck.

Harry is awfully silent, it’s all over his face how broken he is and you feel the same. You have so much love for this man, yet fate decided you don’t get to share it with him the way you want.

Walking closer you cup his face in your palms, searching for his eyes until his green irises meet your gaze. You run your thumb across his cheekbones, the pads of your fingers gliding softly over the soft skin. His hands slowly find their way to your waist and he pulls you close to him as you kiss him tenderly, a silent confession about just how much you love him.

“I wanted this to work. I wanted this so badly,” he whispers against your lips, his fingers digging into your back as he keeps you tight in his hold.

“I know. Me too,” you smile at him bitterly.

The rest of the evening passes by silently. You take a bath together, finish the cake anyway though even the sweetness can’t help the pain you both feel. Then you lie in bed for hours, just touching and feeling each other, making the best out of the time you have left. It’s unsaid, but you both know your days together are coming to a close end. Kisses and touches turn into some passionate love making, both of you desperate to feel as close to each other as possible and then you fall asleep in each other’s arms.

If you’re being honest, it’s all a blur following that night. You fix up an interview with London a few days later and they are not shying out of telling you straightforward that they want you there, the job is yours. You have one last short conversation with Harry about you leaving, but it’s more like just a confirmation that yes, it is going to happen and that leaves you with only a few weeks left together before you are packing up to leave the country.

You spend every possible free minute together until graduation where you finally get your degree. Your whole family comes and they cheer on you proudly, Harry standing in the crowd a little farther in the back, but still with a proud smile, a hint of gloominess in his beautiful green eyes. A week later you officially move out of your shared apartment with the girls, it’s a sobbing goodbye since all three of you are leaving in different directions following your graduation. You spend your last two weeks before your departure at home, spending as much time with your family as possible since you won’t be able to see them too often once you leave. Though your mom is dying to take you to the airport to say her final goodbye, you decided to give that time to Harry. He said he would drive to your hometown, pick you up and take you to the airport and you already know it’s gonna turn you into an emotional mess.

Leaving everything behind is hard, but having to say goodbye to Harry is the worst. It’s been a whole emotional rollercoaster for the both of you to get to this point and neither of you are ready to say goodbye, but this is what needs to happen.

That morning, you hug your parents, sister and brother tightly after you load Harry’s car with your two huge suitcases that have your whole life packed in them. You asked your family not to ask any questions about Harry and luckily, they kept quiet the whole time he was there, just treating him as a friend. You couldn’t take having to explain to them who he really is and how you met him, that’s gonna be another conversation for the future when you don’t feel like you’re about to start crying the moment you open your mouth.

The ride to the airport is silent, Harry holds your hand, your glued together palms lying on your lap the whole time. You haven’t even left but you already miss him so much.

Arriving he helps you bring all your stuff inside and patiently waits until you check your baggage in, leaving you with just your carry-on. Standing near the security check, the final moment finally comes and as soon as you look into his eyes you start bawling your eyes out.

“Oh baby, come ‘ere,” he breathes out, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Harry. I told you we would make everything right, but I couldn’t,” you sob into his chest as he holds you tight. You feel like if he let go of you, you’d just turn into a puddle at his feet.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he soothes you, his fingers threading through your hair.

“But it feels like it was,” you choke out. Harry leans back and takes your puffy cheeks between his warm palms, looking deep into your eyes.

“It wasn’t. As you said, it was just a matter of wrong time and place. But I think we brought the best out of it.”

“So… you don’t regret it?” you softly ask, eyebrows knitted together in concern.

“Absolutely not,” he smiles at you kindly. “I loved every moment of it. And I love you.” You notice how he didn’t use past tense when he said he loves you and you can’t decide if it aches your heart more or fills you with joy. A little bit both of them.

“I love you too,” you whisper before pressing your lips against his, savoring them one last time before you leave everything behind.

“Maybe we’ll meet again,” he smiles sweetly when he pulls back, tugging your hair behind your ear with a gentle move.

“I really hope,” you chuckle through your tears. “Take care, Harry,” you tell him, pecking his lips just once more.

“You too, baby,” he smiles, his hands falling to his sides as he lets go of you.

Turning around you walk into security and as you go with the line towards the gates, you glance back one last time. Harry is standing in the exact same spot, eyes glued to you as he watches you disappear from his sight.

It feels like the meeting is never coming to its end. You exchange a look with Jasmine, who seems just as tired and done with this two hours long discussion as you are. She grabs her phone from the table and you watch her something type out before she eyes at your device, signaling that she just texted you.

Jas: I need alcohol after this day. Want to have a drink with me after work?

Y/N: YES PLEASE!!!!!!!

You see her smile at her screen before both of you return to your boss at the front, talking about a possible upcoming case.

“And last but not least, I want to take a moment to bring light to the excellent work Y/N, our new full-time colleague did on the Santiago case. The police were highly satisfied with the fast and precise work you did. This was your first official case since you’ve decided to accept our offer to become a full member of our team and transferred from your position as a trainee. Congrats!” William, your boss nods in your way with a proud smile as a round of applause cheers for you from your colleagues.

“You go girl!” Jasmine mouths you from across the table and you just chuckle shaking your head.

The meeting finally wraps up and everyone goes on with their day. You are walking back to your office with Jasmine by your side. Your offices are next to each other and you started working here just three weeks apart. She is the same age as you and was approached the same way as well, it’s just that she moved all the way from Australia. The two of you have grown quite close, starting a new life at the same time in a foreign country, it easily brought you together.

“So are we leaving early for those drinks or what?” she asks poking your side.

“How early?”

“I don’t know, like fifteen minutes? Come on, it’s Friday, everyone leaves early!” You shake your head chuckling at her. She can be so restless sometimes, but it’s just the right amount that she can push you out of the comfort zone just enough.

“Alright.”

“Cool, I’ll come banging on your door,” she winks at you before disappearing for her usual coffee break.

It’s two in the afternoon, you still have a few hours ahead of you and some caffeine sounds perfect actually. Though the coffee at the office is excellent, you’ve grown to like this small place nearby, a family owned business that offers the best you’ve ever had.

You grab your bag from your office and head out for a quick coffee run. The walk to the café is freshening, the weather has been treating you well lately, the Sun is beaming and you can only hope you won’t wake up to pouring rain the next morning.

You think back to how lost you were feeling just a year ago, when all of this around you were so new and a little too much at once. One month into your time in London you even thought about quitting and moving back home. You felt alone and broken, yearning after everything you left behind. Your friends, family, loved ones, everything that was so far away from you.

It took you long weeks, even months to get used to your new life and now you can’t even imagine yourself anywhere else. It doesn’t miss you don’t miss terribly the life you had still, but now you have a lot to be happy about here as well.

Waiting at a crossroad, you find yourself twirling around the strawberry ring on your finger, your thumb fidgeting with it like every time you think about your home. You glance down at it and take a deep breath before the lamp turns green and you continue your walk to the café.

It’s not rush hours so there are only a few people lingering around the small place. You don’t have to think about what you are getting, James, the barista already knows your usual and starts making it right away as you swipe your card paying your drink.

You stand at the side, waiting for your coffee, staring out the window, watching people pass by on this lovely afternoon. Your gaze stops on an old lady sitting on a nearby bench, feeding a group of pigeons and you smile as a little girl runs through the birds, making them fly away instantly. The old lady just smiles at the girl, not holding a grudge that she just scared the birds away.

Your eyes move away, watching businessmen come and go, kids going home from school, wearing their school uniforms, everything just feels so… peaceful.

You are almost about to turn away from the window when your gaze falls on a tall figure near the Sainsbury’s across the road and your lips part as you catch a glimpse of a tattooed arm you know all too well. You blink once, twice, three times, waiting for your eyes to make sure it’s the person you think it is.

Harry is standing right there, holding a little bag of groceries, eyes glued to the screen of his phone, oblivious to your shocked gaze on him. Your feet move before your brain could think it through, they take you out of the café and you stand in the middle of the sidewalk as you call out for him.

“Harry!”

His head snaps up at his name, eyes looking around, searching for the source before they finally find you, a shocked, but seemingly joyful expression plastering over his handsome face. He is quick to shove his phone into his pocket before he watches both ways and runs across the road to meet you on the other side. You can’t push your smile down as you watch him approach you, his tall, fit figure getting closer and closer until he is standing right in front of you, watching you in awe.

“Hey,” he breathes out, both of you a little unsure of what to do, how to greet each other.

It’s been months since you last talked. After your departure you kept in contact, you couldn’t just distance yourself from him so abruptly, but the thousands of miles between the two of you made it almost impossible to maintain a working connection, the time zones, all the work you both were buried under and just life itself made you drift away from each other.

But he is now standing in front of you and though he looks slightly different, he is still the Harry you know and love. He is your Harry.

“What… what are you doing here?” you ask, finally finding your voice.

“Did you forget I’m British?” you teases you and you roll your eyes.

“I mean, are you visiting family or something?”

“I uhh…” he glances down at his feet before his eyes meet yours again. “I’m actually back.”

“What do you mean?”

“My contract ended in July and I didn’t… I didn’t extend it. I came back a few weeks ago.”

Your lips part at the information. Harry is in London, he is now in the same city as you, for the first time in a whole year.

“Really? That’s… wow.” There’s too much you want to tell and ask him, yet you stand there, blinking at him, still lost in the feeling of seeing him for the first time again.

“I actually wanted to contact you when I got back, but I wasn’t… I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about that,” he admits with a nervous chuckle and your eyes soften over him.

“What do you mean? I would have loved it if you called.”

“It’s just that we haven’t talked in a while and I didn’t know… I didn’t know where you’re standing about me.”

“Well, seems like fate did it for you,” you smile at him warmly. “I would love to catch up. I have to head back to work now, but maybe later?”

“What about after work? When are you getting off?”

“I finish at 5.”

“I can meet you at your work if you text me the address.”

“That would be great,” you nod smiling. “My number is still the same, so you’ll know it’s me.”

“Great,” he nods, the corners of his mouth curling up in a boyish smirk. You are just now realizing how much you’ve missed him.

“I, um…” You’re trying to find the right words, still feeling overwhelmed about the sudden run-in, but at last you decide to go for a hug.

Your arms wrap around his waist, he hesitates for a moment before wrapping you in his tight embrace, pressing his cheek against the top of your head. A shiver runs down your spine as the sense of home washes over you all at once, the warmth of Harry’s body making your heart flutter. Unfortunately, the moment must come to an end. His arms fall from around you, just like they did at the airport when you said goodbye to each other over a year ago.

“I’ll… see you later then,” he smiles as you are backing towards the entrance of the café.

“Yeah, later,” you nod and turning around you walk inside.

Arriving back to the office you drop by Jasmine’s office to tell her that you have to postpone your plans after work.

“What is more important than getting drunk with me?” she gasps dramatically.

“I ran into… I met Harry,” you tell her. You told her all about Harry one evening when you were out, just a few months into your stay. It was one of those days when you were feeling extremely homesick, or maybe you just missed him terribly.

“What? Your professor ex?” she asks with widened eyes.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, you are forgiven. Go and get the man back!”

“What?” you chuckle. “We just met after a year, how do you know I want him back? Maybe I just want to catch up with him,” you say, but it’s an obvious and blatant lie and you both know that. Jasmine gives you a look.

“Please, you are still so obviously in love with the man, don’t even try to convince me otherwise.”

You don’t protest, just bite into your bottom lip. You really are in love with him, or the version you knew a year ago. He could be an entirely different person now so you can’t be sure if your feelings are the same about the man you met today.

“Have fun with him and then tell me all about it after, okay?” she beams and you just nod, leaving her to finish her work.

As time is slowly passing by you find yourself growing nervous about seeing Harry. That short little conversation on the street was not enough to calm your nerves. What is he like now? Is he the same? Does he have new hobbies? Is he as happy to see you as you are to see him? What will he think of you? What if he doesn’t like you after all this time?

You try to push the questions to the back of your mind, not wanting to overwhelm yourself too much to the point where you chicken out of seeing him. When you’re on your way down following his text that he is waiting for you in front of the building, you are trying to keep yourself together and remind yourself that it’s just Harry, he might be a little different, but he is still kind of the same.

Luckily, the moment you spot him waiting a few feet away from the entrance, you forget about everything else, he is the only one to exist. He envelopes you in a hug when you arrive, smiling at you warmly.

“Hi, ready to go?” he kindly asks and you nod.

You settle for a nearby bar you’ve actually been to with Jasmine before. Harry insists on paying for the first round of drinks as the two of you settle in a secluded booth at the back. When he is standing at the bar you catch yourself watching him in awe. The situation is quite odd, could have never happened probably back home, the two of you casually out for a drink.

“What’s gotten you so smiley?” he asks upon returning, sitting across you.

“I was just thinking how this is the first time we are out, just the two of us.”

Harry smiles softly, probably appreciating it just the same.

The next couple of hours you both try to share anything and everything that has happened in the past year. He tells you about his last year as a professor and him not extending his contact. Coming back to London he has joined a research group for a marketing company, using his excellent knowledge to analyze human behavior in connection with different type of ads.

“It’s a lot different from being a college professor ain’t it?” you tease him and he nods chuckling.

“Guess I wanted some change. But it’s been nice, I enjoy doing a lot of research and experiments.”

Then you tell him about your time as a forensic document examiner, all the different cases you worked on and how it has been, living in London on your own. He listens to your tales about everything you’ve done with Jasmine, the concerts and karaoke bars you’ve been to and just generally your life overseas.

“Sounds like you’ve found your place, then,” he says smiling softly.

“I guess. Wasn’t an easy transition, but I’m feeling good now,” you nod. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss my past,” you add.

His eyes wander down to your hands that are fidgeting with your almost empty glass. You see how they stop over the ring and he seems surprised as he reaches out, takes your hand in his and runs his thumb over the little strawberries.

“You’re still wearing the ring,” he states.

“Of course,” you smile and when he is about to let go of your hand, you grab it and hold it, needing to feel his touch.

You wanted to run back home so many times because you were missing him too badly, missed his voice, his eyes, his touch, everything and now, out of nowhere, he is here with you again, far away from the place where it all started and had to end for a while, still making you feel like home, no matter where you are.

At one point, you move to sit beside him in the booth. You just keep sharing and sharing even things you’ve talked about on the phone before. You’re just soaking each other in. His arm soon moves around your shoulders and you gladly lean into his side, placing a hand to his thigh, sparkles running through your body.

“I love this,” you hum to yourself upon finishing your last drink.

“Love what?”

“Being out with you without a worry. I always dreamt of this and it’s just… so natural. I wish we got to experience it before.”

“As you said, that was a wrong time and place. Wasn’t our fault.”

You lift your head, eyes meeting his curious green irises as he smiles down at you kindly. You’ve missed that smile, it still makes your heart skip a beat, just like at the beginning.

“And do you think it’s the right time and place now?” you prompt the question.

“It’s definitely… better,” he chuckles softly. “Unless you are seeing someone, because now would be the best time to tell me.”

“I’m not,” you shake your head smirking. “Tried to go on dates, but truth is… none of them were you. I gave up after a few terrible attempts.”

“I didn’t even try,” he shyly smiles. “I just… knew no one would make me as happy as you did. As you always do.”

Pushing yourself up a bit, you rest your forehead against his as he closes his eyes, his arm around your shoulder tightens and his other hand rests on your thigh, pulling you closer. Your palm slides up his chest and neck until you’re cupping his cheek. You place a soft lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth, testing the waters out, seeing how he reacts though nothing that happened tonight tells you he wants to keep his distance.

He moves his face, nose nudging against you before his lips find yours in a kiss you’ve been longing for since you left him behind at the airport over a year ago. Your fingers lace through his hair, pulling him towards you as if he could escape from your hold any moment, but he is definitely here to stay. Your lips clash again and again, savoring each other, eagerly trying to make up for the time you lost since your departure. You melt into his arms, moving your legs across his lap as he pulls you to his lap in the booth, partially hidden from the rest of the bar, wrapped up in your little bubble. He tastes like home, his kisses feel like the first warm rays of sunshine after a long and cold winter, the only thing you couldn’t really get yourself over this whole year. Because you’ve become good at pushing your feelings down to the point where you could easily carry on, but he was always in the corner of your mind, making you wonder if you’ll ever meet again and if you do, will it be the same as before?

It’s not, because it’s better. The burdens and banters that tied you both down a year ago are now long gone, you have all the time and space in the world, nothing is restricting you. You can touch him and kiss him whenever and wherever you want. There’s no more sneaking around, no one here knows who you are and who Harry used to me to you. Here, you’re just another lovesick couple, so into each other it’s almost insane.

When he pulls back his forehead stays rested against yours as you both are trying to catch your breath. His hand runs up and down your thigh, the warmth of his palm melting your body under his soft touch.

“I love you,” he breathes out, eyes meeting yours.

“You still do?” you ask with a small smile, heart beating in your throat.

“I never stopped loving you,” he admits and you let out a shaky breath, pulling him down for a short kiss.

“Not even when I was an ocean away from you?”

“No,” he chuckles shaking his head. “If that’s possible, I loved you even more when you were away. I realized how much you mean to me and I could only hope you weren’t moving on without me.”

“I could never,” you smile at him softly. “I love you too much to do that.”

“You have no idea how much I missed you say that,” he breathes out with a soft chuckle and you kiss his lips shortly, assuring him that you feel the same way. “So… are we going to try again?”

“Do you want to?”

“There’s nothing I want more, baby,” he truthfully admits, his gaze softening at you as he brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Do you want to?”

“Of course,” you smile at him widely. “I think it’s settled.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[doctorstethoscope]

Ladies Night || Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader

Hi all, celebrating @ssahotchswife’s feral Monday with this self indulgent fic based on an ask I sent last week. 

18+ CONTENT MINORS DNI

contains: praise, excessive teasing, unprotected penetrative sex, alcohol consumption 

wc: 2k

The call comes in around 1:30 in the morning, just as Aaron is packing away all the paperwork he brought home for the weekend and getting settled into pajamas. Strangely, though, the name on his screen reads Prentiss, not yours, and the adorable selfie you’d taken with Jack and left on his phone was not lighting up his screen. His mind quickly takes him through all the worst case scenarios, but he shoves them away as he brings the phone to his ear. 

“Hotchner,” he answers. 

“Hey, Hotch.” Emily says back breezily. “Hope I didn’t wake you.” 

“No, I was up. Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Your girl’s about to take off in an Uber, though, and I figured I would save all of us the lecture about getting in a cab alone at night and just have you come get her.” 

Aaron shakes his head fondly as he grabs his keys off the counter. “I thought she was staying the night at your place?”

“That was the plan, but she’s had her fair share of margaritas and she said something about a pregame for Jack? Hotchner, I didn’t think I needed to tell you this, but he’s too young for the hard stuff.” 

Aaron scoffed as he locked the door behind him. “His pregame breakfast, Emily. For his soccer game. She makes his eggs and toast and fruit into a little face, and Jack thinks it’s  lucky. I could have handled it.” 

“Well, you can have that argument with her when you get here, but she’s pretty out of it, and was determined to be home before he woke up.” 

“I’m on my way, don’t let her into an Uber.” Aaron says as he starts the engine of his car and pulls out of the parking lot towards Emily’s place. 

“I know better.” Emily says before hanging up.

The roads are empty, so Aaron’s drive is brief, and he’s knocking on Emily’s door in less than ten minutes. JJ is standing on the other side, and she shoots him an apologetic glance. 

“We may have let things get a little out of hand here,” she confesses 

“How out of hand?” Aaron asks, following JJ towards the living room.

“You might want to make sure you have pedialite at home.” She tells Hotch as they both enter the living room.

He finds you sitting on the floor, your back against the couch as Garcia braids your hair. Your eyes are shut, but you can’t be sleeping, because your face is split into a grin.

“Okay sweets, you’re all set,” Garcia says, securing the braid with an elastic, and you open your eyes. 

“Aaron!” You say, finding him leaning against the wall and smiling down at you. You stand up far too quickly, and stumble into his arms— he secures you with a hand wrapped around your waist.  “You didn’t have to come get me baby, I was just going to call an Uber.” 

“We can have that conversation in the morning, dear,” he said, squeezing at your hips. Even as drunk as you were, you could tell that that idea hadn’t gone over well with your decidedly overprotective boyfriend. You do what you can to soften him up a bit. 

“Thank you for rescuing me from the terrors of Quantico, Virginia. My handsome hero,” you flirted shamelessly, giggling and rising up on your tiptoes to press a kiss to Aaron’s lips, wrapping one hand around the back of his neck and curling your fingers into his hair. 

Aaron smiles as he pulls away from you, much more mindful of all his coworkers milling about the apartment than you were. “Say goodnight to the girls, hon, and we’ll head home.” 

You make your way around the apartment, bidding the girls goodnight with hugs and promises to host next time, before making your way back to Aaron’s arms so he can lead you out to the car. 

“I know you think I was just being silly, but I meant it when I said you looked handsome.” You told him as you fumbled with your seatbelt. 

“I’m in my pajamas,” he laughed at you as he pulled out into the street. 

“I know. I like you like that. All ruffled and undone,” you told him, reaching a hand over to run through his hair, then down his chest, resting your hand over the crotch of his grey sweatpants. 

“Darling—“ Aaron warned you. 

“Come on, you came all the way out to get me. I think I owe you one.” You batted your eyelashes at him.

“You don’t owe me anything— the peace of mind of having you here with me is enough.” He tells you genuinely. 

You leaned over the center console to whisper in his ear. “If you think something as sweet as that is going to talk me out of wanting you, you’re crazy,” you told him, pressing an open-mouthed kiss against his neck, and smirking to yourself as you saw his grip tighten on the wheel out of the corner of your eye. 

You settled back into your seat, but left your hand against his upper thigh, drumming your fingers against him every so often. You could tell that you were getting to him, could see the tension knitting away at his brow, and truth be told, you could feel the way your own boldness was affecting you, too. 

After what felt like an eternity, Aaron finally parked the car, and you unbuckled in an instant. 

“Race you inside!” You said, taking off with a laugh and stumbling your way to the door.

“You’re lucky you didn’t fall,” Aaron chastised you with absolutely nothing behind it after watching you drunkenly zig zag through the parking lot.

You shrugged as he unlocked the door and you went inside. “I knew you’d catch me.” 

He reached for your hand and tugged on it, catching you against his chest. “And I always will,” he told you, ducking down to kiss you as he fumbled with the door behind you, pushing it shut. 

“I want you,” you whispered, bucking your hips against nothing as you brought both your hands up to wind your fingers in his hair. “I want you so bad,” you confess as he moves his mouth from your lips to your neck to your collarbone.

You start moving backwards towards the bedroom, but Aaron has other plans. He picks you up by the waist and sets you on top of the kitchen island, pulling your shirt over your head and throwing it towards the couch. You throw your head back as he starts to plant wet kisses against your chest and brushes his thumb over your exposed stomach. 

“So needy, huh darling? We’re you thinking about me fucking you as soon as I came by to pick you up?” Aaron asked as he took your bra off, punctuating his question by pulling one of your nipples in between his teeth. You gasped out at the sensation, but quickly groaned as Aaron stepped away from you entirely.

“I asked you a question, angel.” 

“Yes,” you whimpered out, desperate to feel his hands on you again.

“Yes, what?” 

“Yes, I was thinking about you fucking me as soon as I saw you at Emily’s.” 

“Naughty girl,” Aaron smirked, stepping back towards you and taking your other nipple in his mouth, lifting a hand to occupy your other breast. 

You groaned, simultaneously loving and hating his propensity for teasing. 

After a moment, he pulled away, redirecting his mouth towards inner thighs, moving his way up towards your shorts. Your thighs tensed in anticipation, and Aaron let out a dark chuckle. 

“You poor thing. You must be soaked and I haven’t even taken off your shorts yet,” he said, rubbing his nose against the seam of your jeans, the thick fabric pushing against your clit and making you jump.

“Oh, fuck. Please, Aaron. Please touch me.”

“Oh, but doll. I’m having so much fun teasing you.” He said, pulling you off the counter and pulling your shorts and panties off in one fluid motion. He turned you around to bend you over the counter, wrapping an arm around your waist to make sure you wouldn’t hurt yourself. You could feel his hard cock through his sweatpants, and you ground down against it. 

“So impatient,” Aaron tsked at you as he slid his sweatpants off, taking his cock in his hand and running it up and down your slit. You let out a little whimper, and he chuckled. 

“You know I’m just going to sit here until you beg. I could do this all night, sweetheart. 

“Please, please, please. I want you so bad. Please, please put your cock inside me.” 

“Say my name,” he commands, and your knees buckle. He tightens his arm around your waist so you don’t fall.

“Aaron, please fuck me. I need you.” 

He’d never deny you of something you needed. You knew that. He entered you deliciously slowly, stretching you gently even though you were so turned on he could have made his way in with no issue. 

“You feel so good, baby,” Aaron says as he pulls out of you just as slowly as he entered, and then begins to pick up the pace. 

You arched your back against him as he continued to thrust, changing the angle just enough to make you cry out. Aaron moves a hand from your hip to cover your mouth.

“Do you like that, pretty girl?” He asks, and you nod, although apparently the question was facetious. “I know you do, but you need to be quiet. Can my little slut hold her tongue or do I need to gag you?” He asks, his pace unrelenting as he does.

You swear your eyes roll back into your head— you’re not sure what’s gotten into Aaron tonight, but you’d better figure it out so you can get him to act like this more often. 

Aaron removes his hand from your mouth and you bite your lip.

“Good girl,” he praises you, and you keen. He wraps his now free hand around your waist and brings his fingers down to play with your clit lazily. You gasp, but cover your own mouth before you can let out a moan.

“Good job, princess. You’re being so good for me. I’m going to take such good care of you.” Praise flowed freely from Aaron has he picked up the pace on your clit, and soon you’re bucking into his hand. 

“Aaron,” you hissed out. “feels so good, baby. I’m gonna—“ 

“I know, angel, I know. Go ahead and come on my cock. You’ve earned it.” He assures you, pushing your hair to the side so he can kiss your neck tenderly. 

Your orgasm crashes into you, and Aaron works you through it, your pleasure triggering his relief. You bracket your elbows on the counter so Aaron doesn’t have to worry about holding you up, and he does the same, so that his chest is pressed against your back but you’re not bearing his weight. You take a few moments to catch your breath together, and then Aaron reaches across the island for a paper towel, wiping you clean as he removes himself from you. Once you’re clean and the paper towel is disposed of, Aaron spins you around and plants a kiss to your lips.

“You go ahead and sleep in tomorrow,” he tells you. “I’ll take care of Jack’s breakfast.” 

You smile up at him and shake your head. “Not a chance. It’s not lucky when you make it.” 

He rolls his eyes at you with a chuckle as he gets you a glass of water. “If you ever want to get lucky again, you’d better drink this and get to bed where I can’t hear your sass.” 

“Oh, but the sass is half the fun,” you whined teasingly, taking your water in one hand and his hand in your other as you dragged him to bed.

[howggswouldreact]

📏 The Only Tall Maknae | Wonyoung

Request: hii can i request an izone wonyoung jealous cuddles scenario with shorter fem!reader? thank uu Plot: Wonyong and the small idol Fem!Reader are in a relationship. During MAMA, Wonyoung gets jealous of her girlfriend. Words: 2,661 Genre: fluff Notes: tried to write it in a way that was closer to the thoughtless attitude of teenagers inexperienced in having a relationship as idols. there are spaces for prequels or part two, maybe. if you want, send me a plot and i will write more from this universe! hope you like it! have a nice week!

Wonyoung was happy to be at MAMA again. What made her even happier, in addition to performing and receiving all the love from Wizones, was that you were there, with her. Not exactly with her, since the location of the tables was made so that her group and yours were somewhat distant, but you both were there, giving sneaky glances at each other and dancing excitedly during more animated performances by groups you liked. You had to control yourselves, trying to be discreet, even though almost all the idols in your circle of friends already knew your closeness was something more. There were cameras there and they weren't kind at all.

You met through friends and have been dating for almost a year. Staying with her took away all your tiredness, reinvigorated your energies and left you with a happiness never felt before. She was the most beautiful and adorable girl in the world. And you were lucky to be her girlfriend. Very lucky.

Your group had made the second comeback in a year and, for the first time, your schedules were proximate. You were doing your best and she was doing her best, and you were able to meet in the meantime.

You just didn't expect to be nominated for Best New Female Artist, but Wonyoung was rooting for you, and when it came time to announce the winning group, you focused on her again and sighed.

"You are just a silly in love.", Soojin's voice sounded low in your ear, clearly mocking your "heart eyes" towards Wonyoung.

You felt your cheeks getting hot. The pros and cons of being a maknae... even though you were spoiled in many moments, your group really liked to make jokes about how you lost the bossy pose when you were with your girlfriend. And also the difference between your height and hers. It was extremely evident! But you loved it, after all, you could hide your face on her neck while you hugged.

"I'm not silly!", you said, smiling.

You turned your face to the stage, where the MC's were about to read the name of the award-winning female group.

Your eyes met Wonyoung's for a moment, looking for strength in case your group didn't win, and you gave her a bigger smile, getting back the most beautiful smile in the world.

Until they announced the name of your group.

There was a round of applause and you were a little lost, in shock, looking at your group mates for answers. Did you imagine things or did you really win? Your expression was so shocked that, at the same time, several fans were already turning into a meme on the social media. Feeling goosebumps come and go through your entire body and a light tug from Soeun on your arm, you got up and went from your table to the stage.

After that, everything went very fast. The leader, Soojin, said gratitude words to the fans, the staffs, everyone who supported the group, promises to continue working hard to deliver a good message through music, etc...

Wonyoung was very proud of you and, as your group came down from the stage and went to a part on the side of it for pictures, Yujin made a joke that she couldn't understand, but it was about the two of you. She looked at Eunbi as if she was seeking approval to come to you, but Eunbi was in a conversation with Nako about the award.

"It was pretty obvious that they were going to win, they are the best!", Yena exclaimed, when a new presentation started.

"You guys make a couple of very powerful maknaes, despite the height difference!", Chaewon whispered, from Wonyoung's left side, making her smile.

A few minutes went by and Wonyoung wanted to be able to go directly to you to congratulate you, even if not in the warm way she would do backstage, with a very tight hug and soft kisses on your lips, calling you "my love". Looking for you at your table, Wonyoung frowned. Your whole group was there, even the prize was there with them, but where were you? Were you at the bathroom?

"Where...", Wonyoung's question died in it's beginning. A few tables on the left, there were you. Holding another girl's hands. And that was enough for Wonyoung to feel her cheeks flush with jealousy and her heart sinking into her chest.

"I can't wait to take several selfies with it! It's so beautiful!", whispered Yein beside you, thinking about the award that was in Soojin's hands.

You nodded as you went up the stairs, until you felt a hand on your shoulder. Turning aroung, shoulders and a smile that formed an enlarged heart were the first things that took over your vision, indicating that the person who called you was tall. You focused your gaze on the face, raising your head, and realized that the owner of the smile was Yeeun, as known as J, a member of StayC. And your friend and classmate.

"Hey!", she greeted you, still smiling, and held your hands. "You rocked up there! I only got time to listen to your group's album yesterday, but it's really good! Congratulations on the award!"

"Oh, thank you so much!", you came a little closer to her to allow the girls to go up the narrow stairs. "I'm in love with your album too. ASAP always manages to make me very happy, even on days when my mood is not... good."

You were not praising each other for no reason, you had known each other long enough to not need formal praises.

"I know how hard you and your group worked for it and it was really deserved.", she had a caring glow in her eyes. "I know I haven't been on this idol journey for a long time but if you need anything, I'm here. I know there may be some difficulties but we will get through them together!"

"You can count on me too, Yeeun. This is not easy at all, but we are managing to achieve our dream almost together! Can you believe it?", you said, smiling excitedly.

Until you felt the lighting of the place get a little darker.

Yeeun's eyes landed on a spot above your head. You turned around to see the reason why there was a shadow on you, and there she was. Your girlfriend.

Yeeun greeted Wonyoung, bowing, while she was standing there, beautiful and in that black outfit full of sparkles that left you mesmerized since the beginning of her presentation.

"Hello, bab-sun-babe-nim!", you stuttered, impacted by the beauty of your girlfriend.

Almost calling her "babe", you tried to fix it by calling her (actually trying to call her) sunbaenim. Even though Yeeun knew about your relationship (you had already told her since you were friends), you didn't want any strangers to know. And that place was full of cameras and ears everywhere. It was risky. But your correction to the soft nickname you used to call her only made Wonyoung raise an eyebrow. There was something in her eyes and you knew it wasn't because of the makeup.

Yeeun greeted her and Wonyoung used a polite education towards the girl of almost the same height, differentiating by a few centimeters almost imperceptible, but that, with you between them, made you look much younger than them, even though the three of us had almost the same age.

Wonyoung praised StayC's performance and Yeeun thanked her before saying bye to you both and heading to the table where her group was at.

You raised your hand to Wonyoung's but the tall girl crossed her arms.

"Hey, what's up?", you asked.

"Nothing.", her tone was harsh and you felt a small pain your in your chest, but she had a smile on her face. A fake smile. "I wanted to be the first to congratulate you, but someone has already done that.", The smile was still on her face, for the cameras, but the tone of voice was still kinda rude towards you. "I can't even hold your hands without hear you saying that some people might be surprised by it, but apparently it's just with me. But, congratulations on the award, Y/N. It was well deserved. The girls and I congratulate your group.", she turned and started walking in towards Izone's table.

"Hey, what's up, Wonnie?", you asked, hurrying to catch up with her, but keeping an expression of false happiness on your face.

"Nothing.", her tone of voice cut into your heart, she hadn't even bothered to turn around.

"Hey, you know I can't keep up with your stride, that's not fair."

She stopped on the stairs, in the corridor that led to where her group's table was, turning to you and you almost ran into her, taking a few steps back.

"Just don't!", her gaze on you was as hard as her voice, but the smile was wide open on her face, it was petrified there.

You stopped as you watched your girlfriend move on without looking back.

"I can really do whatever tomorrow morning, I don't care, I just need to get this sorted out as soon as possible."

"I just think it's too late for you to go there...", Soojin had some concern in her voice.

"Have you texted her yet?", Jiyoon asked, stretched out on the living room floor.

"Several times and she doesn't answer nor even reply my texts since yesterday.", you paced back and forth in front of the television.

"If you keep walking like this, we'll find petroleum," said Soeun.

You sat on the floor next to Jiyoon.

"None of the girls answer you?", asked Seojeong, stretching.

"Hyewon replied that she is in a bad mood and locked herself in the room after dinner."

"What did you do, huh?", Yein asked.

"I don't know!", you almost shout, hiding your face in your hands.

"Oh, go on then because one in a bad mood is one thing but two in bad mood in different groups is a punishment! Go, go!", Soojin pulled you by the arm to get up and started pushing you towards the door .

"But what about the manager..."

"We'll find a way to cover you up, don't worry!", Seojeong said and Soojin closed the door.

You went down the stairs, calling an uber.

"Do you know how late it is?", asked Hyewon, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

"I know you don't usually sleep early, Hyewon. But it's a life-and-death situation!", you replied while removing your shoes in the lobby, only your socks on your feet.

"Death for whom? Only if it is for us, right? The sour mood she was in... I asked if she wanted salad and she almost killed me with her eyes!", with a tone of indignation, Sakura started to speak. "What did you do, huh?"

"I don't know!", you were about to cry. "Can I go and talk to her?"

The two girls nodded and you crossed the room to the hall like a bullet. When you opened the door, the room was dark and you already knew the way to Wonyoung's bed because you visited her sometimes. But instead of lying down, you knelt beside the bed, even in the dark, and whispered her name. You wanted to hold her hand but you were afraid. If she was upset with you, she probably wouldn't want you even there.

"Wonyoung?", you called again, this time in a louder tone.

"I can't believe you came here even after I treated you like that."

You didn't understand what the phrase meant.

"Can I lie down?", you asked, receiving in response Wonyoung moving her body to give you some space.

You embraced her in a hug, hoping she wouldn't reject it, even with her back to you. Again, her answer did not come in words. She held your arm around her.

"What did I do? Tell me so I won't repeat it.", your face was on her back.

"I'm feeling ashamed."

"Of me?"

"No! Of you??? Never! I'm ashamed of myself. I can't even look at you...", she confessed.

You were still confused, but you hugged her tighter. You wanted her to feel you there.

"You don't have to. You didn't do anything wrong, Wonnie..."

You heard a loudest sigh and she turned to you, resting her hand on your neck and touching your foreheads.

"I... I was an idiot. You, your group, had just won one of the most important awards of the night! I myself know how it feels to win it, I know how rewarding it is and... at the moment I-I didn't support you because I was... jealous.", you knew you shouldn't interrupt her, she was venting out. "I wish I could've hugged you and praised you... I feel so proud of you and everyting that you have achieved... but I saw you with that girl and she was holding your hands and she was smiling with such affection, I don't know what I was feeling other than jealousy.", her voice showed a little bit of anger and fragility but she kept her hand on your neck, caressing it. "I was wondering if she was special enough to show affection like that in front of so many cameras... if you liked tall maknaes and...", at that moment you laughed. "Hey, don't laugh! This is not funny at all!", she slapped you lightly on the shoulder.

"No, babe, what's funny is that you think I could have eyes for anyone but you."

"Yeah, you go ahead and think it's funny! And if it were me with, I don't know, a short maknae like you, holding her hands, wouldn't you be jealous when you saw it from a distance, without having an idea of ​​what's going on? Would it be funny?"

"Yah! I get it! Don't even make me think of you with someone else.", you took her wrist and stroked it. "Yeeun is just a friend from school and she was congratulating me. There was nothing else. There would never be. She knows about us and gives the greatest support! I just didn't get to introduce you decently because there is never enough time. I want you to see that you don't have to feel jealous because you are the only tall maknae I love. I love you. "

"I'm sorry for ruining everything and making you come here almost at the dawn. You shouldn't have come so late!", she pulled you into a tight hug. "But at the same time I'm so glad and relieved you came.", she whispered that last sentence.

"I would come at anytime.", you whispered back, kissing her cheek.

"It's too late for you to leave. What are you going to do? We can arrange everything for you to stay.", you were going to talk but Wonyoung wouldn't let you. "We can really work it out, make up a very good lie for the managers, take you back to the dorm quickly tomorrow very early. I imagine you have a lot of commitments now that you've won the award but... it's so late... and I want you to stay with me."

"Okay, I'll stay.", you replied, without thinking. "But I need some clothes to sleep."

"Okay, you can borrow Nako's pajamas."

"Hey!"

"I'm kidding!", Wonyoung laughed. "You can borrow one of mine. It'll be huge on you, but you look beautiful anyway."

Embarrassed, you hid your face on her neck and felt her presence for a while, a warm embrace full of a young love that was blooming beautifully. The next day, you would have to deal with your manager scolding you a lot, knowing he would be right, but for now, you would enjoy your time with Wonyoung. Whatever happened next, it wouldn't matter. What mattered now was to be with the only tall maknae that you loved with all your heart.

[flowesona]

Wicker Man - yandere! jungkook x reader

so my child @babeejk​ wanted a y! sugar daddy jungkook, and i live for nothing if not to fulfil her jungkook obsession so here we are. 

word count: 2.1k

pairing: y! jungkook x gn! reader

Most people (Y/N)’s age would spend their Friday night partying, hanging out with friends, trying new things. But (Y/N) was spending the best days of their life entertaining a young, rich CEO who would no doubt dump them for a new pretty face in a few years.

Jungkook was a sweet gentleman. Always made payments on time, and usually never pushed the boundaries. But there were instances where his hands crept a little too far for (Y/N)’s liking, or his grip on (Y/N)’s arm got a little too tight in the presence of his friends.

He was peaceful enough that Friday night, having ordered takeout for the two of them and put on a movie. Clearly, he needed the company of (Y/N) more than their body as most of their previous sugar daddies had coveted.

With (Y/N) placing their plate down onto the coffee table and relaxing into his arms to watch the movie, it was almost like they were dating. Jungkook didn’t dare push this idea often, happy to stick to the simple domesticity they had as if they were already in love and nothing needed to be said.

He pressed a kiss on the back of (Y/N)’s neck, enjoying the fleeting feeling of his lips on their skin. 

“You seem tired, baby. Want to go to bed?” The film was reaching its climax, but (Y/N)’s eyes were barely able to stay open.

“Mmmmm.” They replied, not protesting as he lifted them like a bride and carried them into his room to rest on his king sized bed.

(Y/N) had allowed a gentle smile to settle on their lips, their eyes having drifted closed. Jungkook settled himself beside them, feeling equally as at peace.

“I wish every night could be like this.” He mused allowed. “Would you like that, baby?”

(Y/N) was only his for two nights a week - Fridays and Saturdays, wherein he would often have them stay for the night.

“Mmmmm.” (Y/N) gave an ambiguous grumble as he hooked his arms around their chest to spoon them.

“Really? I can’t wait, baby. I love you, so much.”

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

The morning after, (Y/N) woke up to an empty bed. Unusual, considering that Jungkook loved to wake up beside them and talk in the morning. Brushing that aside they stood up and padded out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.

Jungkook was seated at the counter, glasses perched on his nose and his laptop in front of him next to a steaming cup of hot water (allegedly, it had health benefits but (Y/N) had never understood it).

“Good morning, baby.” Jungkook had a bright smile, beckoning them to join him at the counter. (Y/N) followed his instructions, hopping onto the stool beside him and leaning on his shoulder in a move they knew he adored.

“I’ve been working hard for you this morning, baby. You know, I want to get this done as soon as possible so we can be together.”

“That’s good.” (Y/N) hummed in reply.

“How do you feel about the moving company getting there at two today? That’ll give us time to have lunch on the way.” Jungkook ran his hand down their arm, soothing them as he noticed how they tensed up.

“What?” 

“So you can move in, baby. Of course, you don’t have to bring everything here and I’ll be more than happy to buy anything extra you need-”

“Wait, wait, wait a second.” (Y/N) breathed out slowly. “Moving in?”

“We talked about it last night. You agreed, didn’t you?” (Y/N) scrunched up their nose, trying to recall the conversation but drawing a blank.

“No, I never agreed to that. And I never would. It’d break the terms of our contract.”

Jungkook had such a sincere look of hurt in his eyes that it tugged at (Y/N)’s heartstrings.

“We don’t need that contract, baby. We just need each other. You know I’ll give you anything you want, right?” 

“And what I want… no, what I need… is for some space. This is just my part time hustle, I still have college and a life outside of this. I want to keep it to two days a week, otherwise it’ll blur the lines between you as a sugar daddy and you as a boyfriend.” (Y/N) tried not to let their irritation show as they spoke.

“Fuck the lines, (Y/N)! We don’t need any of those labels, I just want you to be mine as much as I am yours!” Their companion’s grip on their arm had grown tighter to the point that his nails started to draw blood. Realising this, (Y/N) pried his hand away and stood up.

“I’m sorry if I’d misled you. But I’m not looking for that kind of relationship with you, I’m just looking for strictly business. If this doesn’t work, maybe we should end this.” 

Jungkook stared at them incredulously.

“Well…” He bit his lip, deep in thought. “Fine. Life will go on, I guess. I’ll call up the moving company and cancel it. Let’s not end this beautiful thing we have over a silly argument.”

(Y/N) nodded, although they had a horrible feeling in their stomach that it was not the end of the conversation, and Jungkook would stop at nothing to get his way.

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

(Y/N) had chosen to make Thursday a ‘me’ day. They cooked themselves breakfast and lunch, did some online shopping and applied a face mask. They had zero intentions of visiting anyone else, when all they wanted to do was de-stress from life.

As they were lighting a candle and listening to some Beethoven, a shrill alarm rang out.

‘Huh. They don’t normally hold the drill today.’ (Y/N) shrugged, waiting for it to cease. However, it didn’t stop.

After a few minutes, (Y/N) grabbed their phone and stepped outside, only to see people hurrying down the stairs. 

“Hurry! Fire!” One of her neighbours yelled, jogging past them. 

Their eyes widened, but sure enough they could see smoke curling throughout the air and they knew they had no time to lose. Leaving their apartment with only their phone in hand, (Y/N) followed their neighbours down the stairs and out of the building, standing on the pavement as they watched the flames licking at the building and smoke billowing out of the open windows. Soon enough there were fire engines on the scene and ambulances to deal with the people who’d inhaled too much smoke. 

(Y/N) found themselves sitting on the pavement, numb with shock. To think everything they owned was going up in the flames was terrifying, even as they saw the firefighters doing everything to minimise the damage. 

“(Y/N)! Baby!” Their state of shock was broken by someone yelling their name, and suddenly they were pulled into a tight hug.

“Baby, thank god you’re okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done if something happened to you.” 

“Jungkook?” (Y/N) instantly recognised the voice. “What- How-”

“I was in the area when I heard about what happened. I came as quickly as I could.” Jungkook pressed a kiss to (Y/N)’s forehead. 

“You need to rest. Come back to my place, okay?”

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

(Y/N) had ended up staying there far longer than intended. Their apartment had been completely wrecked by the fire, since it had started on their floor. Every possession of theirs, gone so quickly, although of course Jungkook insisted on replacing whatever they wanted.

Jungkook seemed to be very much content with their prolonged stay. In fact, he’d been working from home for the first few days to make sure they were settled in and not feeling too lonely. (Y/N) would sit with him in his home office, since they didn’t really have much else to do, and scroll on their phone until he inevitably called them over to cuddle with him. 

The young man had become progressively bolder with his skinship, never holding back from pressing kisses to their neck or holding them a bit too tightly to his crotch. They hadn’t done ‘it’ yet, but with how he was acting it was only a matter of time. 

They were just sitting together, (Y/N) scrolling through instagram and Jungkook answering some emails when the desk phone rang. Jungkook reached around them to answer it, holding it to his ear for a few seconds before putting it back down.

“Your nintendo switch has just been delivered. I need to go down to the lobby and sign for it. Are you okay waiting here for a few minutes?” Jungkook pouted, as (Y/N) nodded in reply.

He pressed a kiss to their cheek before standing up.

“Don’t miss me too much, baby.” He smiled before leaving. 

(Y/N) let out a breath they didn’t realise they’d been holding in whilst he was there. But now, they were bored as ever. 

A chime rang out, and (Y/N) found their attention drawn to Jungkook’s phone, sitting there innocently. They reached over and picked it up, only seeing a text from his mother asking about dinner plans next week. But they noted how he’d changed his lockscreen to a picture of them, from a few nights ago when they’d accompanied him to a formal event and he’d asked one of his colleagues to take a picture of them together.

(Y/N) suddenly had something to do. They set about trying to unlock Jungkook’s phone, first trying their fingerprint and face ID but to no avail. Then, realising that he had a numeral password they tried typing in a few dates - his birthday, his parent’s anniversary. Then, out of sheer boredom and with only one attempt they tried their own birthday only for them to be granted access to his lockscreen.

‘Jeez, he needs to get a life if he’s that whipped for me.’ They sighed, as they scrolled through his phone. Nothing was particularly out of the ordinary, until they checked the photo gallery, to be met with tons of pictures of them. Screenshots from social media, snaps from their ‘dates’, selfies with them fast asleep in his arms. It was enough to make (Y/N) shudder with fright.

Another message popped up.

‘I need the other half of the payment, sir, or I will be contacting the police.’

(Y/N) clicked on it, expecting business talk only to be met with something else entirely. Fear settled in their stomach as they scrolled up through the messages.

‘(Y/N) has been evacuated outside, doesn’t seem to have been hurt.’

‘Someone’s called emergency services, but the fire should spread far enough that (Y/N)’s apartment will be damaged.’

‘I’ve started it, it’s spreading quickly.’

It didn’t take a genius to realise what had happened. 

(Y/N) dropped Jungkook’s phone on the floor in shock, standing up immediately. They’d walked right into his arms without hesitation, they’d played into his plan perfectly. Jungkook always got what he wanted, no matter the cost.

‘I have to get out of here.’

(Y/N) started for the door, only stopping to tuck their phone into their pocket. They were just by the entrance to the penthouse when they heard talking outside.

They knew they had to hide, but it was too late. 

Jungkook burst through the door, accompanied by a stern faced delivery driver carrying a large box. This was subsequently placed by the door and he made a swift exit, avoiding (Y/N)’s existence the entire time.

“Ah, baby I missed you. Here, come and see what I bought for you.” Jungkook beckoned to them, but one look at their face told him he’d read their mood entirely wrong.

“What’s wrong, baby?” He cooed as he approached them. “Tell me, and I’ll fix it for you.”

“Get the hell away from me.” (Y/N) snapped. Jungkook froze. “I know what you did. What the hell is wrong with you? I could’ve died in that fire?”

His face became stern.

“I would never have allowed that to happen. I just wanted to give you a little push to move in with me, that’s all.” 

“You’re insane!”

“And you’re too stubborn to progress our relationship!” Jungkook bit back. “Can’t you see how hard I try to make you happy? Is that not enough for you to love me?”

“I never want to see you again.” (Y/N) huffed, trying to show past him only to be caught in his iron grip. 

“You’re not going anywhere.”

(Y/N) struggled, but Jungkook’s determination was stronger than their body weight.

“Maybe I am crazy, baby. And you know what that means?” He leant in close, so (Y/N) could feel the warmth of his breath. “You never know what I’m going to do next. So don’t try me unless you want to get burnt.”

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Fearfull Proposal

Summary: henry plans a romantic proposal... and instead of coming clean about your secret fear of heights and ruining his romantic plan, you put on a brave face... well until your nearing the top of the london eye.

Warnings: fear, fluff, swearing, typos.

You quivered as you rose higher and higher over londons skyline.

Fuck why? Why the fuck had you got in this dangling glass death trap. A faulty few bolts and you'd be plummeting into the fucking thames!

Henry was standing by the window looking out at the glittering lights in awe.

You were standing with your back turned to the houses of Parliament hands clutching the rail eitherside of you knuckles white. Knees knocking.

God this was the stupidest thing you'd ever fucking done! And it was your own fault.

"Babe, look! God big ben looks soo small never been on this at night"

You hummed nodding but continued looking to the floor.

Henry paused when you didnt correct him with the whole 'big ben is the bell' you usually countered

He turned looking back to you and his stomach dropped.

"Babe? Whoa are you okay there love?" He asked frowning as he saw your eyes clenched shut almost as if you were in pain.

You were trembling and pale to the point he fearded youd pass out.

"Here come sit down and relax, i packed some snacks-" he said placing the specially packed bag of snacks and screw top mini wine bottles.

"No! No I'm fine... I will just stay here... By the saftey bar" you said giggling nervously sparing him a glance and patting the metal you were holding onto for dear life..

Henry faltered and really took in your apperance unsure what to do. It wasn't like he could get you off, you had to ride the ride.

"Babe? Are you scared of heights?"

"Nooo dont be sillyeee- OH MY GOD IM GONNA FUCKING DIE!" you began laughing him off then screamed as the ride stopped.

Instantly you ducked crouching whilst wrapping your arms around the silver bar shouting bloody murder.

It didn't help you were bathed in purple light so couldn't see shit.

Henry got up and rushed to you standing over you arms rounding you holding you securly.

"No, no its fine love... shh its fine baby, they said it could stop to let people on poppet remember?" He said quickly rubbing your sides as you cowered trying to fend off the temptation to look at the thames below.

"Y-yeah fuck hen- im sorry i just..." you mewled turning towards him tucking your head to his chest.

"Scared of heights huh? Why didnt you tell me?" He sighed pressing kisses to your head as you whimpered adn the ride began moving once again.

"Because you went to all this trouble, you planned this surprise and i didnt want to ruin it, you were soo excited" you sniffled blinking at him.

"Hey shh you silly girl, you should have told me. You wouldnt have ruined anything you silly sausage" he cooed winding himself around you tighter.

He was actually annoyed at himself, how the fuck had he not known his girlfriend of a year and a half was scared of heights?

He'd suspected a fear of heights when you both went on holiday for your birthday, but youd managed to convince him it was a fear of flying and planes... not heights.

And come to think of it you didnt even like the glass lifts in shopping centers, you ran to the corner and held on eyes locked onto the doors the entire time.

So this was the worst surprize he could of planned for tonight. Things weren't going to plan. Fuck.

"Babe im sorry" he apologised feeling like an asshole.

"No no dont be, this was extremly sweet bear" you said quickly not wantin to make him feel bad fpr your own short commings.

"Theres noting sweet about terrifying you"

"Do... do you want to sit down? Ill hold you the entire time" he offered peaking to the central bench where both your bags sat.

"I.. yes okay i think sitting will be better" you said then yipped as he prompty scooped you up and placed you in his lap securly.

"Im so sorry love, I just wanted to make this special and romantic" he muttered holding you as close as he could letting you know that you were safe and sound.

"It is! It is love really im just a baby" you said quickly grasping his face pulling him closer before peppering his face with kisses.

"Your not a babe we all have our fears" he said quietly pressing his forehead to yours.

"You dont" you sighed closing your eyes trying to ignore the snails pace of the pod that still rose over london.

You could barely feel it, but your fear amplified it.

"Oh but i do~" he replied peering at you, as yur eyes fluttered open.

"Like what?" The questionnescaped before you could think.

"No" he said eyes now becoming worried, anxiety clouding them.

"No?"

"Yes, at the moment thats my biggest fear" he said releasing a shakey breath as you frowned at him not following but didnt dwell as your ees darted to the side seeing the houses

"You see, i was trying to be all romantic and wait untill we got tp the top, but i think you'll be too terrified"

"Henry?" You said leaning back unsure about the serious tone he seemed to take.

"I brought us here, to the spot we met two years ago today..." he said drawing deeper breaths as the reality of what was about to happen hit him.

"Was it really?" You asked surprized he'd remember something like that. Anniversary? Definitely. But the day you first met? And asked for a selfie with a series of embarrassing squeaks? No you didnt think he'd remember.

"Yep. I remember doing a promo and shoot on this thing, then got off and was sat next to you in wagamama"

"And i squeaked for a selfie" you groaned with a small giggle.

"Im glad you did, i scanned instagram for days after- scouring my hashtag trying to find you... i kicked myself for not getting your number~"

"I still cant belive you did that... but im gld you did henry"

"Who'd have thought the nervous little thing trying not to even breath in my direction would be my girlfriend six months down the line"

"Or that we'd last this long?" You quipped at him trying to reme,ber to breath.

"And.. hopefully a lifetime? Despite me dragging you intoyour actual living nightmare- which i promise to never do again! Not even lifts"

You scowled and tilted your head to him not sure if you heard him correctly.

Untill he pulled the small velvet box from his pocket.

"Henry?! What? You cant be serious?"

"Oh but i am love, as much as i want to do this right and drop to one knee i doubt you'll thank me for releasing you?"

"Dont you dare let me go!"

"I think you'll find im trying to do the opposite~" he chuckled opening the box revealing the simple elegant ring three tiny diamonds.

"Im trying to marry you..."

You gasped eyes glazing over as you locked on to the dainty ring pinched between his fingers.

"I love you y/n, and i want to know if you'd become my wife and share your life with me. Will you marry me?"

"Oh god yes of course its a yes henry i love you bear!" You cried throwing your arms around him making him grunt and quickly clench his fist arohnd the ring before he dropped it.

He groaned into you rocking from side to side littering your head with kisses before peeling you away to sit the ring on your finger.

You looked at the glittering stones on your finger weeping. You may have been cursing yourself for getting into this godforsaken glass bauble in the sky.

But now you were he happiest woman alive.

"I love you bear"

"I love you too"

"Would you like some wine? I brough the little cute bottles you like" he offered nodding to the bag of snacks.

"Err lets not push it hun" you whined not sure wine at this altitude was a good idea.

You kept glancing at him still sniffing and giggleing unable to look from your ring for long.

"Gotcha, no wine"

"You look surprized i said yes?"you quipped needing to talk and take your mind off the fact your at the tippity top.

"I made you face one of your nightmares i thought you'd slap me silly when i ask" he scoffed pressing a kiss to your cheek unable to stop.

"Never love... but please never ever get on this thing again okay?" You pleaded fluttering your lashes at him pleading.

"I swear. Never again, but seeing as this is our one and only ride we should take a few selfies? Mark the occasion?" He said standing letting your feet hit the floor but never once did he let go.

"Absolutly, gotta show off my new fiancé" you hummed rising to share another kiss with him not really paying attention to the height you'd now reached, you had more important things to think about. Like sharing the rest of your life with this glorious man.

"My thoughts exactly" he grinned pulling out his phone aiming it at the two of you, makeing sure to have the hand that rested on his chest donning his ring in shot.

[iwaisuke]

confessions; but not remembering it

ft. kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi x sick fem!reader

genre: fluff

masterlist

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and then i rushed bc i was getting tired 🙃 also. sakusa's is a little ooc. sorry ab that

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

» the clean yet musty smell of rain filled the gym as the boys practiced. it was a surprisingly humid and rainy spring day today here in the country side of hyogo

» "achoo" you had been sneezing and coughing all day. you also had a terrible headache but took some medicine to see if it would help. the spring allergies really getting to you

» you didnt reay have the time to be worrying about yourself. As a 2nd year manager of the inarizaki team, (recommend by suna) and the boys working so hard practicing for nationals there was no way you'd let this little cold get in the way. you had to work just as hard as everyone else!

» "hold on, im about to hang up your jerseys to dry"

» "i got you guys some fresh towels!"

» "i can run and grab that coach. im headed that way anyways"

» the coach called for a short break to rest up for a bit. everyone was sore and exhausted from practicing every day. "here. i filled your water bottles up!" handing them to all the boys. "y/n you're all wet" akagi sounded concerned.

» "hm? oh its alright. I'll dry off in a minute. i took the shortcut to the drinking fountain to refill your waterbottles instead of taking the long way" you nonchalantly said. "so you ran through the rain like an idiot?" suna threw a clean towel over your damp hair and ruffled it. "suna!! stop!! you're gonna ruin my hair"

» "like i said. its alright" you reassured the boys.

» kita, on the other hand had noticed your fatigue. although he wasnt as perceptive on peoples feeling and thoughts as well as others, he could easily pick up signs like yours. he admired you dearly for how hard you always work for the team. how you willingly did anything to make them smile. how you always put others first before yours. needless to say, he had a bit of a crush on you.

» "l/n san. i think you should take a break too. there's no need for you to be running around for us while we're resting" kita assured you. "i still have a few things left on my list to do.. but afterwards I'll take a break!" kita let out a sigh. you were stubborn sometimes and kita knew you were the kind of person to not stop until you're finished.

» "I'll be right back. i gotta grab the laundry"

» making an excuse to leave, your heart was beating fast. you knew kita's words were the kind he'd say to anyone, but it made your heart feel fuzzy when he'd look out for you.

» the stone cold captain who you thought he was, actually was so kind. he was just a little awkward like you, and a little blunt with what he said sometimes. but you learned the great qualities he carries and how much he actually cares about others well being. he was a hard worker and you couldnt help but absentmindedly fall for the captain.

» running up the stairs to the second floor of the gym, you felt a shift in your step. head becoming dizzier than it was just 5 minutes ago. legs trembling, you started falling before feeling a presence behind.

» kita's arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you in efforts to not letting you fall over. "i told you to rest l/n san" kita said sternly. "you wont benefit anyone if you keep overworking like this."

» you knew kita was right, but you really didnt want to rest knowing you'll be letting the team down by not working hard.

» "i promise I'll rest as soon as im done with this one thing" pleading with kita. he let out a sigh, knowing you really wouldnt until you did finish so he allowed you to do so.

» finishing grabbing all of the dry jerseys and bringing them downstairs to pass out to everyone, you didnt really notice atsumu and osamu spiking volleyballs at each other until aran yelled

» "y/n! watch out!" honestly, you were too tired to move out of the way so you figured, it do be like that sometimes, and allowed the ball to hit you.

» or... so you had planned the ball to hit you.

» kita stood in front, blocking the impact of the spike that you had prepared yourself for. there was agitation in kita's eyes. more than you usually noticed when then twins were miss behaving. concern washing over, he looked you straight in the eyes

» "... is there something wrong kita san?" lifting up his hand to your forehead, he let out a sigh. "why didnt you tell me earlier you had a fever", then walking over to the coach meanwhile atsumu and osamu come over to apologise for being reckless.

» "get your stuff. we're going home" kita said bluntly.

» "huh? but practice is-"

» "please l/n san. for me"

» kita would only take yes for an answer this time. no if's ands or buts. so here you were, walking home with kita. only the sound of raindrops hitting your shared umbrella being heard.

» muscles starting to ache a little more and your legs becoming more tired than they were when you left the gym, you began to walk a little slower every step

» "get on my back l/n" "its ok kita san, i can walk. its already enough that you're walking me home" "i didnt ask if you wanted to. im telling you to"

» you couldnt tell if it was the fever that made your face warmer or if it was kita's words. nonetheless, you got on kita's back. he was a lot stronger than he looked and you couldnt help but stifen at being so close to your own crush like this.

» "relax. I'll make sure you get home." he reassured. you leaned into his back, warmth seeping in, your eyes began to feel heavy.

» "kita san" "yes?" "thank you for always watching out for me"

» a comfortable silence was met as the sound of rain filled your ears.

» "kita san" "hm?" "did you know..." your voice softened "i like you a lot kita san"

» did he hear you correctly? if he wasnt paying attention he wouldve missed what you had said, being drowed out through the pitter patter of water. now his heart thumping louder than ever before.

» "l/n san-" he was about to go on but was met with the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the soft snores of you on his back, knocked out from exertion. kita let out a light chuckle, finally relieved you were resting.

» you had missed the next day of school, but when you came back the whole volleyball team bombarded you with love.

» "WE'RE A FAILURE TO NOT NOTICE YOU FEELING SICK" atsumu cried. "how could we let our one and only precious manager get ill for taking care of us" akagi, clearly dissapointed in himself. "please let us know when we can take care of you too y/n" aran said.

» "its no big deal. really!" waving your hands in defense. "it was just a small cold. but i do have a question though"

» all the boys gathered around to hear what you had to say

» "how did i get home?? i really dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu"

» it shocked the guys honestly. you genuinely didnt remember a single thing due to your fever. "wait? you don't remember kita taking you home?" suna replied, your face becoming red. "k-kita san took me home-?" "yah. he left in the middle of practice to do so" osamu added.

» immediately, you got up to find the captain that apparently took you home the other day. he was in the storage closet cleaning and grabbing the equipment for todays practice.

» "kita san" "oh. l/n. glad you're feeling better" his smile brightened the musty closet. "about that, im sorry for troubling you and having you take me home the other day. i honestly dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu. my mind was really fuzzy that day, but im truly thankful for you going out of your way for me. it really means a lot"

» kita was dumbfounded. you really dont remember? "no need to apologize l/n. it was my responsibility as a captain. and afterall, what good would i be if i couldnt even take care of the person who means the most to me"

» your heart raced. 'person who means the most to me' ? cheeks blushing a rosy pink, you were internally thanking the musty store room from being dim.

» with arms full of equipment, kita walked by you and stopped.

» "by the way l/n san. did you know?"

» ears perking up at the vague yet familiar line

» "i like you a lot too l/n san"

» now we all know sakusa HATES germs and for the past week and a half, he's been telling you to keep up with washing your hands, wearing a mask at all times even when you eat omi it doesnt work like that. pls especially since you are prone to getting sick easily no matter how hygenic you are. your immune system just hated you. PERIODT

» you remembered sakusa scolding you for running out of hand sanitizer and then the next day you were out of commission. bed ridden with laryngitis, cough, slight fever, the whole works. it was like your body was making fun of you or something

» you texted komori, asking him to take notes in class for you and relay homework information while you were at home resting up. but there was one request you had and made komori PROMISE.

» DO NOT TELL SAKUSA YOU GOT SICK

» "he's probably gonna notice your absence y/n. he'll find out about it either way"

» "well if you dont tell him then he wont know. its not like he even cares about where i am like that"

» "thats what you might think. but i know he's gonna say something i can garuntee it"

» the next day at school, sakusa did notice your presence missing. it was quieter not having a 3rd person in the group of friends. not having you around to talk to him when komori was gone.

» pulling out his phone to text you, he asked where you were that day.

» "on a family trip :D !!! forgot to tell you, but I'll tell you all about it when i come back!" you wrote, attaching an old selfie of a different trip you went on to make it more believable.

» you had hoped this silly cold would get better in a day, but soon that day turned into 2 and then 3 and then 4... you pretty much missed the whole week of school at that point

» Friday rolled around and komori was on his phone all day. sakusa noticed his cousin fidget in his chair more than usual and it irked him to see him like that

» "what's with you today?" one eye raised, sakusa finally asked. "uhhh nothing really" komori wasnt very good at keeping secrets lets just start off with that, but he was trying his best.

» "well clearly somethings wrong. you're fidgeting." "well haven't you noticed somethings been different all week?" komori hinted

» sakusa sat there in thought. nothing's been different? he ate the same breakfast he usually does every morning. all his studies have been well. there were no tests this week so there was no reason to be anxious like komori was and even if there was, he would've done well anyways.

» "just tell me what it is." sakusa was starting to get annoyed. "y/n..." komori started. "y/n?" "do you know where she's been this week?"

» did you not tell komori about your family trip? you usually told komori everything, but then again you didn't tell him either until he asked you about it.

» "she said shes on a trip?" he nonchalantly said. komori's eyes started watering. "A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL THATS WHAT IT IS" he blurted out. komori didnt mean to let it slip , he was just so worried about your well being.

» "hospital?? what are you talking about. did she get injured on her trip?" "no omi. shes been sick all week and her mom just texted me saying she went to the hospital today because shes had a fever for 3 days straight. there is no family trip"

» sakusa's heart shattered. you were sick and didnt even tell him?

» before both he and komori knew it, his legs were running faster to get to the hospital than he had ever imagined he could ever run.

» and there you were. fast asleep in a bed with an IV drip. your face flushed, forehead sweaty and shallow breaths escaping your chapped lips. you were a hot mess but sakusa didnt care. stepping to your bedside to greet your mother she explained to him that she had to go to work and asked if he could watch over you until she gets back.

» sakusa said yes without even hearing the whole thing. his heart and mind saying yes to whatever it took to get you to feel better.

» gosh how he hated hospitals, but what he hated even more was the fact that you were in the hospital and he didnt even know.

» the doctor came in for their evening round and ensured sakusa that you were indeed getting better! your fever had broken not too long ago and your body was working extra hard to heal itself up!

» "is there anything i can do to help?" sakusa asked. he felt helpless in this situation just watching your face distort in uncomfort every now and then, and coughing your lungs out.

» patting sakusa's shoulder, the doctor told him that just being here for you is enough. "you gotta be a strong boyfriend for her alright son? she'll be able to go home tomorrow first thing in the morning if her fever doesnt come back"

» sakusa slumped in his chair at your bedside, the doctors words ringing through his head. 'boyfriend huh?' he thought to himself. "if i was her boyfriend..." he whispered to himself, "i would be a failure for not even knowing my girl was sick..."

» to kiyoomi, you were beautiful. even now in this sad state you were in. deep down he locked these growing feelings he had for you inside of him because he always felt like you were a better match with someone else and after this stunt you pulled of lying to him about going on a family trip, it only made him feel worse.

» it was now night time and you finally began to stir in your sleep, the fever finally gone. sakusa reached out to move some hair that was stuck to your face, fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. your eyes slowly opened and met with his dark orbs.

» "y/n?" "saku- wait this is just a dream. omi wouldn't be here. he hates hospitals" you let out a forced laugh and then a sigh through your sore throat.

» you reached out to sakusa's hands that were resting on the side of your bed. "omi would never let me hold his hand because he'd say im passing germs to him so hopefully dream omi wont be the same" you were aimlessly talking to yourself, not even realizing that this really wasnt a dream.

» he squeezed your hand in return. hoping that you wouldnt let go any time soon. a funny smile appeared on your face just at the thought of him. "even if you're stupid for not realizing how much i like you... i cant wait to see you again omi" you whispered before falling asleep again.

» sakusa didnt know what to do. he sat there frozen in his chair. it was his first time hearing you call him omi. heck. you literally just confessed to the boy. his brain was running wild. groaning in distress he let go of your hand to step out for a breath of fresh air now that you were back asleep.

» it was 5am and your mother came back to the hospital and thanked sakusa for staying by your side. He left in a hurry to make sure you didnt see him there.

» Monday rolled around and sakusa was waiting outside of the school gates for you. he had planned on asking you about your "trip"

» "good morning sakusa!!" your bright and cheery voice rang through his ears. honestly he was trembling inside. the memory of you confessing to him still fresh in his mind.

» "how was your trip?" you stopped dead in your tracks. "haha... it was good !! sorry i forgot to get you a souvenir" you were trying to play it cool but sakusa could tell you were forcing yourself. "i wouldnt want a souvenir from where you came from so its fine" sakusa's words threw you off. "i - im not sure im understanding what you're saying sakusa?"

» you felt a tug on your hand. "dont you mean omi?" his voice husky as he whispered into your ear. cheeks flushed, your brain felt like it short circuted. you've always tried your hardest to not let it slip that you want to call him omi since he hated when people called him that.

» sakusa smirked at your cute reaction he got out of you. letting go of your hand he began to walk into the school leaving you at the gate dumbfounded. "and by the way. you're just as stupid for not realizing how long ive liked you too"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

thank you for your order! enjoy~!

[beomglocks]

what soobin is like as a boyfriend

warnings & other: none i just love him but let’s be honest who doesn’t, this gets cheesy in some parts bc he just gives off stereotypical kdrama bf vibes but guys he’s the one

w/c: round to 1k

ok first off 

sorry if i rant soobin is my baby so ofc i think he’s the perfect boyfriend

he’s so

ugh

ok when you meet him he’s a shy boy

like really won’t wanna look you in the eye

ok like super fucking awkward

like painfully and you’re like “hahah ok that’s cute”

that only applies if you look intimidating tho

if you’re one of those people who’s blessed with not having resting bitch face he’ll be flirty

well you know..

he has his own methods of being flirty

he’s charming in his own way

probably does what yeonjun does but more subtle

stares

will stare at you

and when you make eye contact he smiles and rubs his lip with his finger DJSJSKDK PLZ

alternatively: looks away, purses his lips with a smile, ears get red, looks back up to you already looking at him then he waves

youre left like

“omg he’s so fucking cute”

ok but actually like he will reel you in without you even knowing

next thing you know you’re laughing at his lame ass jokes

god forbid you think he’s funny

“you think I’m funny? well we should date” :)

wait im pretty sure he said he doesnt go after someone unless he knows they like him back

tbh he’d probably wait until you make the first move

or wait until you show interest or else he’ll just hide his feelings

you have to bring him out of his shell

once you do...oh boy

100% never leaving you alone

always telling you how much he loves you

he’s the sweetest

teeth rotting sweet

i feel like he would slowly open up to you during the relationship

he’s not like automatically into it if that makes sense

shy to initiate things at first

such as kissing and touching

asks you if it’s ok first

we love consent

free samples kind of guy

dont take him to an ice cream shop or shops in general

he will devour the free samples

next thing you know you’re leaving with goat cheese and the newest ice cream flavour

he gives hopeless romantic vibes

would want to bake with you in the kitchen

and i know this sounds cliche but

flour fight

he’s cute with it at first

just rubs some flour on your nose then next thing you know

“we turned our dog white”

he’s a simple man

however

he probably spoils you

but not like expensive item type of spoiling he isn’t extravagant

god forbid the price range of any of the items he buys you exceeds his actual paycheck

cute gifts that you’ll actually use and cherish

i dont see many fights happening with him tbh

maybe if you question his leadership choices then i can see a fight happening

for example if you think he couldve handled a situation better in a certain way and you point that out to him he’ll get all defensive

“im the leader of my group dont tell me what you think is best for my group”

then you’re just like “well shit fuck you too i was just tryna help”

i can see him distancing himself after a fight if you’re also feeling a bit aggitated

doesn’t talk to you until it’s literally 2am and neither of you are sleeping bc yall always cuddle and you’re not cuddling him

:(

he’s always the first one to say sorry

my god he makes fun of you so much

not on a beomgyu level though

more of a “if you say something silly i will make you feel so dumb for the rest of the day” kind of clowning

wow jealousy

i feel like he’s not super jealous unless he feels threatened

everything was fine until the fire nation attacked

once he sees you getting a little too buddy buddy with someone else he’s like nah i gotta shut this shit down

he’s humble but once he’s jealous he’s all braggy to make himself seem above who ever was trying to get at you

“yeah i think we ALL-”

boy do you have to comfort this big baby

he’s sensitive :(

hold him and rub his head on his off days

tell him he’s the best boy and it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks screw them

he laughs like 

“shouldnt i be comforting you?” 

soooooooooo sappy

cliche asf boyfriend

buys you flowers

if he could he would be doing the whole radio outside your window thing (side note: yeonjun would too be he’s whipped asf)

college bf (we saw it coming)

see also: college bf who helps you in what he can and tells you to screw math bc you don’t need it anyways

shows up at your school or job after his practice

everyone loves him

everyone

you gotta be on guard 24/7

i wouldnt say you’d be insecure per se but soobin definietly lacks awareness when it comes to being flirted with

he recognizes others advances but laughs awkwardly, forgetting to tell the person he already has a partner

~cue mild argument~

at the end of it all he’s like “dont worry i only like you jeez”

if he’s working on a song he asks for your input

or rather how would you interpret a certain emotion that he isn’t able to convey

just to joke around, if he has to write a song about heartbreak but neither of you have been through that he’ll be like

“well there’s a first for everything :)”

soobin 100% takes the time to learn about your culture

he’s invested what can i say

introducing you to the other members isn’t THAT bad

but they definitely clown soobin

txt: “how come your partner is cooler than our own leader”

“maybe they should lead us instead” (joke)

soobin’s like fuck yall i can be cool :(

always send you cute selfies

with messages along the lines of

“i miss you :((((”

“bring ice cream on your way back!”

“be safe tho xxx”

he gives embarassing dad vibes

you can’t introduce him to your friends !

since he has you around he isn’t too shy and once he engages in conversation you better pack your bags

he’s trying to be funny (keyword: trying) but really it’s just your friends laughing to not make the hot idol bf not feel bad

you help him with his script for music bank

speaking of music bank

yes, yes, you are clowning him like the rest of txt and he comes home like

“not you too :(((((((”

hueningkai

my goodness hueningkai

yall tussle over soobin’s attention

sometimes it feels like youre sharing soobin with kai

you love them both but youre like “kai sweetie it’s cold and i wanna be the one to cuddle my bf so please”

speaking of cuddles 

best cuddles

ones where he’s wearing a really comfortable sweater that’s actually nice material and your face gets buried in his chest 

his limbs will be tangled in yours no doubt

but wow he’s so warm you almost never wanna let go

they don’t call him “home” for nothing

tall boy

makes fun of you if you’re shorter than him

yes he does tease you by placing items on higher-than-you-can-reach shelves

kick his shins he’ll give in

you: ”hows the weather up there”

him: “nice actually but you wouldnt know now would you :)”

tell him your problems, tell him anything

he will listen

and i mean let-you-ramble-for-hours kind of listen

but at the end of it his input is always valuable and he isn’t judgemental

he’s a good listener and gives good advice!!!

he’s not the leader for no reason put some damn trust in him!