#it's a joke team not a freebie win you gotta do some work >:(

[raposarealm]

Today’s defense team~

That’s not a ranked fight, that’s a friend battle against what I’m pretty sure is one of Muffin’s alts. 

I lost that fight by the way, Ayaka hits for absolute jack shite.

[allofthisnonsenseplease]

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 AU where Gabe runs an etsy shop selling Reaper beans and other handmade plush toys and Jack puts in an order for his adopted daughter Hana.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AHHHHHH THAT'S SO CUTE

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 there's so many ideas already out there that it's hard to come up with new ones. ^^;

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 yeah XDDD BUT THAT'S ADORABLE gabe suddenly gets SWARMS of orders bc hana showed it off on her livestream

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 He goes back to the source to see what the review said that prompted so much business, and catches a couple glimpses of Jack. He's only shipped something to one Jack lately, a custom bunny plush, and it turns out the hot dad is local.

Cue Gabe sending Jack an email about how well he's been doing since Hana showed off his work, and offering a freebie custom plush? Delivered in person? Over dinner?

lol

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 >:33333 gabe that sounds like an ulterior motive >:3c

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Nooooo! Never! XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 "i just wanna say thanks for being so hot" jack wants to say no bc like?? it's some dude online that's weird right?? but hana is like OMG YOU GOTTA

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 omg What if Gabe realized he could make a move because Hana did a 'Get my lonely gay dad a date!' segment--much to Jack's embarrassment XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AWWWWW hana was like "so my dad jack is really gay and really hot and really single ;333" and jack was like omg nooooooooo gabe: >:3c

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 when gabe shows up jack is all ready to be like "look i'm sure you're a very nice man but i don't think this will work out" except then he sees gabe and is like ||O shit he's re a l ly hot hana is laughing hysterically in the distance

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Jack:...fuck it she wins this one

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 d(ow<) hana's plan all along: get gabe to date her dad so she can get EVEN MORE PLUSHIES EVIL GENIUS

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 except it backfires bc gabe keeps making stuff for jack and not her lmao

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 omg Jack is bewildered by this. 'Thanks, I'm sure Hana will love--' 'It's for you." '...wha...?'

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AWWWWW jack: i am an adult i am too mature for plushes gabe: you sleep with it every night jack: I AM A MATURE ADULT gabe: you have them all specially arranged on our bed jack: LISTEN

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 X'''D Hana does features on her dad's growing collection and Jack just covers his face with his hands and sfjarngals

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 "and this is- DAD what's this one's name again??" "....................... lewis........."

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 !!!! <3<3<3 He NAMES them!! Ah!! XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 he puts a lot of effort into naming them!!! each one is special uwu

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Gabe and Hana teaming up against Jack to get him to do family cosplay at conventions.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AWWWWWW i was trying to think of video game families and immediately thought of uncharted and now i'm laughing

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Darkstalkers, tho. Gabe as the big Vampire dude, Hana as the Chinese vampire, Jack as Felicia. X''''D

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 LMAOO PERFECT

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 The bring out the costume and Jack is immediately NO Gabe & Hana, grinning: You already promised!!

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AHAHAHAHAHA

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Jack: However much you think I love you, it isn't that much.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 jack huffs a whole bunch but gabe manages to convince him to at least TRY it on...... and then gabe decides actually wa it i don't think i want you wearing this in front of other people LMAO

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 X'D YES GOOD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 they end up cosplaying from that game overwatch XDDDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 OMG XD Gabe and Jack working together to build Hana a meka =3

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AWWWWW

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Gabe knows about patterns and shapes and building 3-d out of models, Jack knows about how to put in lights and rig it up t make it easy to move and what not.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 that's so sweet QwQ hana is so excited about it AHHH this is sweet

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 but, like, Jack and Gabe staying up late, drawing up plans for the thing, trying out different ideas to make it sturdy and movable, discussing materials, looking up tutorials and what not, eventually crashing on the couch, leaning up against each other with all their notes and sketches spread out. Hana comes in and tosses a blanket over them and gets a bit of video to let her followers know that operation: get my lonely gay dad a date was super successful. lol

Gabe's never had dates like this--the sort of familial warmth, wearing himself out with his partner working on a cosplay and falling asleep on a couch like that. He falls hard for Jack and is overjoyed to be included as part of the family.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 QoQ and he falls in love with hana too QwQ spoils her rotten which jack chastises him about but he spoils her too lmao

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Jack grumps about that, but he's quietly glad that he found someone who can love them both. ^^

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 qwq

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Hana originally was trying to help Jack find someone because she was secretly worried about that--that maybe her being there implied too much responsibility for a lot of guys and that Jack had rejected potential boyfriends for her sake.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 QOQ whenever she asked about having another parent he always promised her that she was the only person he needed in his life but even though he meant it that only made her feel more guilty (jack had been REALLY lonely before he adopted her tho. she was really young and has no idea how much she helped him QoQ)

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 What if Gabe picks up on how Hana felt and talks to her about it. Jack's still pretty oblivious, but the fact that Gabe recognizes how much she wants her dad to be happy means a lot. He asks her for her blessing when he decides that he wants to marry Jack, and the two plan the proposal together.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AAHHHHHHHHH CUTE

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 ^^

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 I LIVE FOR THIS DAD SHIT AHHHHHHHHH

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 !!! GABE GETTING INVITED ALONG ON FAMILY SHOPPING TRIPS! And being a little bit horrified to learn that Jack is mostly clueless about good nutrition and mostly buys frozen meals. And it's a 50/50 toss up whether Hana gets him to buy fresh fruit or doritos and mountain Dew. And neither of them is a particularly good cook, so even though Gabe isn't spectacular at it, they start doing dinners once or twice a week where they learn a new recipe together!!

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AHHHHHHHH CUTE!!!!!!! jack and gabe baking hana's birthday cake QwQ

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 !!!!!

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 gabe thinks jack is very pretty with flour all over his face uwu

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 <3 XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 when gabe asks jack to marry him jack laughs and is like "i kind of thought we were already married"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Gabe dokis, but being a manly man, opts to punch Jack in the arm and tell him 'I mean for real, asshole! <3'

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 qwq most of his proposal speech is clumsily assuring jack that he already asked hana for permission and she gave the okay

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 omgomg <3 XD Gabe getting nervous over actually proposing and Hana cheering him on silently from where she's hiding to record the whole thing

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AWWWWWWW jack lets him get through the speech and then silently takes out another ring from his pocket

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 X'D Was actually about to suggest Hana scolding Jack later on for not having been the one to ask because REALLY what if something had happened to him and Gabe wasn't family and allowed to take care of her??

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 QOQ

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 What if Jack let Gabe have the proposal moment, then pulled out the ring when Hana was berating him later? XD And Gabe is just: 'You jack-ass, why didn't you say something?' And Jack just shrugs and smiles fondly and says that he could tell Gabe had put a lot of thought into the proposal and he hadn't wanted to spoil it.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AWWWWWWWWWW hana's huffing like "well at least i have ONE dad who isn't useless" but jack finds it so adorable/is so touched by the fact that hana already considers gabe her dad that he doesn't have a sassy reply

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 <3<3<3

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 "you are going away for your honeymoon though right >>>>> i do not wanna be around for that" "o//////o"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 X'''D

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 "also for no particular reason i'm sleeping over at lucio's tonight" ">//////<"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 lol HANA DON'T EMBARASS YOUR DADS THEY CAN'T HELP THE WAY THEY ARE XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 XDDDDDD gives jack a thumbs up on her way out and whispers "get it dad!" and he just buries his face in his hands

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 X''''''''D

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 awwWWW THEM SENDING HER OFF TO COLLEGE

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 omg ;u;

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 they would have no trouble moving her stuff XDDD she's lucky to have such Buff dads

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Hana just riding on the sofa as they carry it into her apartment XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 lmao she would XDDDDDD jack fusses over everything so much and it's kind of annoying but hana lets him bc she knows it's just bc he's worried

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 awww Jack getting all gruff trying to hide the fact that he's gonna miss having her around She jokes about knowing that he'll be lost without her, and Jack has no response because he's suddenly just a bit afraid that it's true.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 QOQ before gabe, hana had always assumed she would go to college close enough that she would be able to live at home bc she didn't want to leave jack alone she's still a little worried about it, but she gives gabe a very serious lecture about taking care of jack while she's gone gabe is kind of amused bc it sounds like she's talking about a pet instead of her dad but he assures her they'll be okay

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 The care and feeding of the common cornfuck XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 XDDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Hana: Be sure you don't let him mope! He does that. Gabe: Oh, I'm sure I can keep him occupied~ Hana: ...really did not need the amount of innuendo in that tone but whatever

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 LMAO hana: by the way i hope you're using protection :angry: gabe: LMAO hana: I'M SERIOUS I DON'T WANT MY DAD DYING BC YOU COULDn'T BE BOTHERED

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 ((...dying??))

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 XDDDD hana is taking this v seriously although i mean you can die from aids :OOO

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 well, yah, but...wasn't thinking we ere doing that to them. ^^;

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 DOn'T WORRY WE'RE NOT gabe is like "WE'RE BOTH CLEAN OKAY DON'T WORRY I'D HAVE TO LIKE GO OUT OF MY WAY" and hana squints at him and is like "okay.............btw if you cheat on him-" and gabe is like "OH MY GOD"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 X'D

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 at which point jack conveniently pokes his head in and is like "it's getting really late we should get going" and gabe is so relieved XDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Gabe thought he could handle himself against anything life threw at him, but that was before he met Hana. XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 XDDDDDD they get in the car and gabe is smiling and says like "you are really lucky to have a daughter who cares about you so much" and jack has been struggling not to cry all day but it's getting more difficult

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Gabe hears it in his voice, and for a second, he tries not to laugh, but he can't help it and just lets it happen. Jack shoves him and tells him to shut up, and they end up having a brief playful scuffle, during which the tightness in Jack's throat eases. He still sniffles a bit afterward, and Gabe snorts in amusement, but Jack sounds a lot more affectionate when he tells him to shut up this time, and Gabe reaches over to grab his hand and twine their fingers together.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AWWWWWWW gabe drives bc jack can't fu ck i n see also gabe is like "hey at least now that hana is out of the house we don't have to worry about being quiet anymore" and jack is like KJNADFKJNAF

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Jack manages to translate his inner sktngkajnfdj into a very calm 'I plan to take full advantage of the fact that we don't have to keep it to the bedroom, either.'

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AHHHHHHH gabe's turn to kjdfnakjdsfnakjdfn "YOU CAN'T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT WHILE I'M DRIVING JACK"

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Gabe gets them home in record time XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 jack suggests they need to buy a new couch gabe decides that means they should get as much use out of the current one as they can

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AND THEN THEY GET A CAT AND NAME IT BUNNY

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 bunny is very adorable also the name came from hana putting up a poll asking her fans to vote and bunny won XDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Jac is slighlty bewildered by this, as he is with many aspects of Hana's life, but who is he to question it?

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 XDDDD bunny very much enjoys jack's man boobs. gabe is a bit annoyed that it keeps taking his spot but he grudgingly admits it has good taste.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 X'''''D

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 bunny also enjoys gabe's lap. jack has tried to move bunny on multiple occasions but bunny WILL bite XDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Gabe having to shoo Jack away because he knows from painful experience where Bunny's claws will end up if Jack tries to pick the cat up.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 LMAO AND BUNNY ABSOLUTELY DOES THE THING THAT MY CAT DOES which is he loves to sleep in my mom's bed and whenever my mom's boyfriend is staying the night and they sleep in the same bed lockwood ALWAYS just wedges his way in between them XDDDDDD bunny always sleeps right between gabe and jack XDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 They're both like: 'You're HANA'S cat! Go to her!' but cats are contrary fucks and Bunny will make itself comfortable wherever it pleases.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AWWWWWW bunny purrs really loud and when they try to yell at it, bunny just purrs louder

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 XD Jack routinely tells Bunny in a matter-of-fact sort of way that it is the worst pet, and reminds it that it does not contribute to the household, and tells it not to be such a beggar whenever someone's in the kitchen. And Gabe is just...'you know the cat can't understand you, right?'

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AHAHAHA then one morning gabe catches jack placing bunny on the kitchen counter and scritching bunny's ears while he's making breakfast gabe laughs and jack has the decency to look guilty ((i always let the cats jump up on the counter even tho they aren't supposed to be up there bc it is perfect petting height |DDD))

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 XD Gabe gives Jack shit over that for the rest of the morning. 'Didn't even wash your hands! Let it up there with its litter-shit feet!'

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 jack grumbles about how easily gabe gives in whenever bunny begs him for food bunny just curls up at their feet purring like a motorboat i'm imaging bunny looks like this XDDD https://thenapoleoncat.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/cloverwhite1.jpg w the tiny tiny feets <3333333

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 ^^ awww!

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 gabe is constantly lamenting the white cat hair all over his numerous black clothes

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 XD Jack and Hana saw that coming when they adopted Bunny

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 XDDDD gabe wanted a black cat but he couldn't say no to hana's utterly enamored face

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 One day, Jack and Hana get started telling old stories of when Hana was growing up, and Gabe realizes that he missed a bunch of years with his daughter (and Hana is definitely his daughter, he loves her more than he would have believed possible for himself just a few years ago). He asks if they have any photo albums, and Jack realizes that, although Hana has all her online vids and things, he doesn't actually have many family photos at all from daily life or their rare vacations or anything. So that becomes a project, too, that they do together, and Hana puts on a show of 'omg you guys are so lame' but she loves the attention and loves that her lame dads care so much that they want to preserve the memories.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 ahhHHHHHHH THAT'S SO CUTE HANA BUYS JACK A POLAROID AND GABE BUYS HIM A PHOTO ALBUM FOR HIS BIRTHDAY

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 AWW! X3 Jack, pointing at Hana and Gabe in turn: You got me this to take pictures of YOU for YOU. Hana: You needed a hobby, dad.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 XDDDDD jack has his giant fucking glasses in this au of course and they are BRIGHT EMBARRASSINGLY red

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 big thick cokebottle lenses so that you can actually see the color of Squint Eastwood's eyes? XD omg Jack

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 XDDDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 jack is constantly complaining about gabe smudging his glasses hana once tried to get jack to try contacts but he just straight up lost them XDDDD the bright fuck off red of his glasses is un-loseable

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Jack insists the red ones are hip.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 LMAO

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Gabe and Hana just fall over groaning whenever he says this.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 jack you're so lame

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 he's canonically lame. v important. XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 RIGHT he probably got the red ones bc hana pointed at them and was like omg those ones are SO LAME

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 He got them to match his ridiculously loud red white and blue leather jacket that he swears makes him look cool 'just like that Soldier character'

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AHAHAHAHA

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Hana: omg, dad, you can't actually LIKE 76! NOBODY actually likes 76!

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 gabe: coughs awkwardly

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Jack, oblivious: Does that make me "edgy"? :) Hana: I'm divorcing you as my parent. Jack: :(

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AHAHAHAHA LITTLE DOES JACK KNOW THAT GABE HAS ALWAYS HAD A HUGE CRUSH ON 76

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Trying to make him feel better, Gabe murmurs to him that he kinda likes 76, too, and that Jack's jacket does look a bit like 76. Hana shouts from down the hall: DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 XDDDDDDD gabe makes jack a comfy 76-esque hoodie d(owo) it is slightly less lame

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 aww! X3

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 jack mumbles one of soldier's lines one day and gabe Dies like the "i'm just getting started" one or something XDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Oh god. XD They start roleplaying in bed. X'''D

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 OH MY GOD jack has no idea what he's doing but gabe seems to be,,,,, excited about it so XDDD LMAO JACK LIKE LOOKING OVER THE TOP OF HIS GLASSES AND SAYING ALL SEDUCTIVELY "i've got you in my sights" AND GABE MELTS AND HANA IS LIKE EWWWWWW she catches it on camera somehow XDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Hana: DAD YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE WITHOUT THOSE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 jack starts to get flustered as soon as hana points it out but gabe is Deceased

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 jack being super confused at first when Gabe wants to play Reaper to his 76, like: 'Aren't they enemies, though...?' Gabe: No, babe, it's fine, this'll be hot, trust me. >u> <3

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 LMAO GABE IS THAT A KINK YOU HAVE????? GABRIEL VANILLA AF REYES

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 OH DID WE FINALLY FIND HIM ONE??? XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 XDDDDD TURNS OUT JACK IS JUST HIS KINK XDDDDDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 WELL GIVEN WHAT WE'VE DECIDED ABOUT JACK THAT'S PROLLY PLENTY KINKY

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 XDDDDDDDD lmao gabe probably had SO many fantasies about 76 XDDDD congrats gabe you get to do it all for real now HA gabe gets jack to wear the jacket (just the jacket) one time

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 XD Oh my, Gabe. Really. With a CHILD in the house. How shameless.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 AHAHA JACK GIVES HIM SO MUCH SHIT ABOUT THIS and gabe just digs out the box of toys from under the bed and points at them aggressively that shuts jack up XDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 jack finally learns to pick his battles lol

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 lmao i'm laughing tho at gabe trying to explain how 76 and reaper are Totally Married and jack doesn't get it at all hana tries to help XDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Gabe: HANA BACK ME UP ON THIS

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 hana: he's right they're gay jack: ?? hana: come on no straight man would dress that way jack: hey i have a jacket like that hana: case and point jack: okay even if they're gay they're still like..... enemies? gabe: listen let me explain a thing

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Jack misses when heroes used to be straightforward and uncomplicated.

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 awwwwww

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 don't awww the unimaginative bastard XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 XDDDDD his favorite superhero is probably superman oh my god gabe ofc likes deadpool lmao

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 Prolly Captain America, too, given his giant crush on 76 XD

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 LMAO GABE IS VERY VERY UNFORTUNATELY ATTRACTED TO CAPTAIN AMERICA

SuspiciousPopsicle - 03/26/2017 I bet Gabe likes Batman, too, and prolly what's his face Jason Todd

firesonic152 - 03/26/2017 yep XDDD gabe has so many Big Gay Crushes on fictional men jack just likes gabe >w<