#it's a holiday week so i'd only have to use up 3 days off...

[wecouldmakediamonds]

fuck fuck fuck my brain has just come up with an Idea that is crazy and that I don't need to do but is theoretically doable and I want...

[pierregazly]

the bookworm ꨄ george russell smau

george russell x bookworm/writer!reader

the one where george couldn't be prouder to call you his, even if it seems like the whole world hates you just for doing what you love... even if they don't know the whole truth.

georgerussell63

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georgerussell63 enjoyed the time off! would never complain about spending time with my best friend, time to get back into things 💪🏎

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username gotta go check off 'george posts shirtless pics during off szn' on my bingo card

username gotta go check off 'yn cares more about her own hobby than her bf' on my bingo card

username girl you got issues with books? can't read?

alex_albon bad hair day? or are hats your new thing

yourusername tried to convince him to go with the bucket hat, but he claims 'all the kids are wearing caps babe'

username girlypop can't even enjoy a holiday with george without being focused on anything other than him??

username he's literally NECKING her in one of the photos?????? do you want her to koala hold him everywhere???

username future wdc russell george and his future writer wife frfr

username 1/2 of these things are probably true and we both know it's not the second lol

yourusername spoiling me always, my handsome handsome man 💗

georgerussell63 wouldn't have spent the last few weeks with anyone else (even if you kick me in your sleep nightly)

username do you think yourusername pictures george as the main male character in any of the books she reads???

username if i can picture him in fanfiction, im sure she pictures him in everything else???

gisèlerosebooks

liked by yourusername, lilymhe, username, and others

gisèlerosebooks first time being on any device since my trip with my favourite person ended. the love on collided continues to amaze me, and i'm so extremely honoured to continuously receive so much love from not only the reading community, but many of the formula 1 faithful as well. this is NOT the end of the journey, either. for now, let the formula 1 season begin... and maybe find me at a race or two? 🤭

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gisèlerosebooks oh and to my incredible, amazing, handsome boyfriend, thank you so much for always proofreading my formula 1 terminology and understanding. i promise i'll give you real credit one day.

username god adrien is so charles leclerc coded, he's all i could think about this entire book

lilymhe 🏎🫶🏻

username the fact i literally could've cared less about the lil zoom zoom cars before the dirty air series dropped and now im eager for the new season.... gisèle baby why u do this to me

username miss girl???? how are we supposed to find you at any races when we don't even know what you look like!!!

username jealous of gisèle's bf is!!! his gf is too talented for the world

username not throttled being the book to get me back into reading and now i'm blessed wth a second book??? mother is mothering real hard

username this is the type of book series i'd totally read at the track and imagine an f1 driver as my husband sry

username 10/10 book!!! dying!!!

yourusername has posted a story

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georgerussell63 wow we're so lucious and hot

yourusername luscious sweetie

georgerussell63 god i love having a hot, smart, book-writer gf. write a book about me and use that word

yourusername they're all already about you??? (handsome)

username you showed up to a race?????? shocking

gisèlerosebooks has posted a story

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username omg!!!! where are you!!! dying to meet you omfg

username YOU WERE SERIOUS

georgerussell63 i saw u slip up and post this on the og account loser

georgerussell63 can i have my scooter back ya nerd

gisèlerosebooks no sorry </3 i own it now

georgerussell63 no creds in the books and now my scooter stolen???? you hate the british

gisèlerosebooks my pseudonym is an ODE to you PAL

georgerussell63

tagged yourusername and gisèlerosebooks

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georgerussell63 a shame that this weekend didn't go the way we all wanted it to go, i know for a fact we'll be coming out on top soon! i also know yourusername or as most of you seem to prefer (for no valid reason at all) gisèlerosebooks is pretty deep in finishing book 3 and apparently this weekend was super influential??? go me (give me book creds)

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yourusername george!!! lmao!!!

yourusername a heads up next time??? maybe?!?

username 'for no valid reason at all' so SASSY oh boy

username everyone on twitter the other day calling yourusername a freeloader is soooo not doing well rn

lilymhe the secret's out!!!! (shocked, baffled, wild, can i get my books signed now)

username (G)isèle (R)ose... (G)eorge (R)ussell... dare i say... deliberately done

yourusername 🤭

username amazing race this weekend!!! can't wait to see you on top

username no one talking about book 3 almost being done??? or the fact george proofreads all her writing??? so cute

charles_leclerc so collided... is not about me?

georgerussell63 get lost mate

yourusername has posted a story

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georgerussell63 you think im a gentleman??? love you

yourusername the BIGGEST gentleman, i love you

username god this is so cute

georgerussell63

tagged yourusername and gisèlerosebooks

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, username and others

georgerussell63 that's my little freeloading, best-selling author and future wife!

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username someone come get this chronically online man rn!!

yourusername can i be your freeloader forever??? spending my own money sucks

georgerussell63 my money's your money always my little freeloader

alex_albon emphasis on the best-selling author and future wife part

georgerussell63 you're right mate

username re-reading dirty air and knowing fully the entire book series is about george makes me so happy omg

username proud to admit i loved yourusername before AND after she was revealed as everyone's fav author (and it's not just a hobby losers)

username george doesn't get book creds until he wins a race again :)

yourusername i love this stipulation!!! georgerussell63 thoughts?

georgerussell63 you hate the british.

i had SO much fun writing this!!! i picked george after going down a george rabbit hole again (of course), so i hope you all love it!! thanks for all the love always.

i'm not necessarily taking requests right now, but if you have suggestions please feel free to send them my way.

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

One bed

Azriel x reader

Word count: 3000+

Summary: Due to unforeseen circumstances, you end up in the same room as Azriel

Warnings: none

I'd love to say I have solved the Frozen thingy, but I haven't yet. I've started writing part 3 and that's where I stopped because of the madness around. I was so close to making a solid plan for it. Unfortunately, the work happened, then Christmas at work baking f***ing chicken farm. Then husband got fever🙄and he couldn't live without getting someone else sick as well, so now son has high fever too and I'm the last one somehow surviving here. At least I have whole week of holidays next week. I hoped to relax and write more, but we'll see. Wish me luck🥴

Anyway here's something small and not so angsty that just popped up suddenly. Hope you enjoy it.

And for everyone who celebrate, have a peaceful holiday 💕

"I thought I've reserved enough rooms," Rhysand sighed. The last hour he was talking with the owner of the inn we were staying at, trying all possible tactics to persuade him to find us one more room. Impossible task from the very beginning as the inn was full.

We were on non-official official mission. At first, there were only six of us supposed to go as Amren declined, intending to stay with Mor in Velaris, protecting it. However, the two of them had yet another quarrel recently, which led to Amren suddenly appearing with a packed bag in hand a few seconds before intended departure. Nobody, not even Rhys, had balls to tell her no. And that's why we ended up in this situation. Rhys had everything perfectly planned, as usual, but he couldn't have known this would happen. And now we were one room short, but again - nobody dared to tell aloud whose fault it was. Amren was like hungry bulldog, ready to tear to shreds anyone and anything at the best of her days. Now, she was pissed off.

Feyre and Nesta took their keys, Feyre giving me an apologetic look. From the start, they were supposed to share rooms with their mates. This was also kind of vacation for us, so it was only logical they wanted to be with their partners.

That left Rhys with last two keys in hand. Amren snatched one and without looking at anyone or even a small mumbled sorry, she left. We exchanged look and whole group finally relaxed.

"Sorry," Feyre murmured as she headed to her room with sorrowful expression.

Before she left, Nesta gazed at me with silent question and I nodded. I would be fine, for sure. Cassian winked at me as he followed her. They both knew about the feelings I had for Azriel for quite some time, each supporting me in their own way. At this point, probably everyone around knew, except for the mentioned Shadowsinger and I didn't plan to be the one to break the news. I knew my limits and he was off them.

Rhys turned to me and Azriel with sorrowful expression, brows furrowed. "I'm sorry, Az, but you know.. Ladies first," he offered me the last key. Spymaster didn't even as much as blink, no protests at all. He looked as his usual self, unbothered by the problem at the hand.

"Thankies," I smiled, took the key and looped hand to Azriel's arm. "Come."

They both opened mouth in surprise, none of them expecting this from me. Rhys recovered as first.

"Enjoy yourself," he smirked and I rolled my eyes.

"Ha ha ha, how funny," I stuck out tongue at him. He chuckled and hurried after his mate, leaving the two of us alone. I raised brow at Shadowsinger who was still too shocked to speak. He didn't even notice Rhys' teasing.

"What? Did you think I would let you sleep on roof or what?"

"B-b-but," he stammered, his cheeks dusted with pink.

"No buts. Come!" I had to pull reluctant Azriel down the hallway.

"I can try another inn-"

"Nonsense! You would miss all the fun. Plus, I really don't mind. We are friends after all. I have nothing to be afraid of, right?"

I came to a sudden stop, realizing something.

"Wait! You mind staying with me in the same room?"

Before, it didn't occur to me that he could be against. I thought we were getting along pretty well, given the fact that we tended to seek out each other's company, sitting together and talking. The two of us even often hung out in the city, venturing cafes and bakeries. I thought he liked to spend time with me, but it could be only my mistaken impression. I knew I couldn't hope for more than friendship and I was fine with that as long as I could be close to him. He could feel differently though.

"No!" he hurried with an answer, eyes wide. "No, nothing like that. It's just.."

"What is it?"

"It's just.. you are female and I'm male."

I was so relieved to hear that, that I wanted to laugh, but I didn't. "That means that you will pounce on me like an animal as soon as door close?"

He flushed fiercely, averting his eyes. "You know I will do no such a thing. It just means that you might be uncomfortable because of that."

"I'm fine. Believe me," I said softly and took his hand. "So come on, silly."

He chuckled and this time, he willingly followed me.

The room, we got, was quite a nice one for an old inn, but it was rather smaller one. Most of the space was occupied by bed big enough to accommodate Illyrian wings. It was one of the reasons Rhysand chose this place, thinking about the comfort of his brothers. We were supposed to spend here whole week, maybe longer, so it was necessary.

Except of bed, there was only small table with two old chairs, hearth and connected bathroom.

After we settled down, the air had somehow thickened, both of us suddenly embarrassed. And so I did what I could to lighten the atmosphere a bit, but every try for a conversation died out soon after it started. At last, I gave up.

"It was long day," I stretched out, all my joints making a satisfying cracking sound and Azriel grimaced. He didn't like when I did it. "I'm tired. Do you want to use the bathroom as first?"

"No, go ahead," he offered and started to line up on table all the daggers he had on him. I paused and watched him, amazed. How could he hide so many? I thought he had only two, max three. He noticed me and smiled shyly.

"I'll clean them while you take shower. Don't worry, I'll put them away afterwards."

"I don't mind them at all," I mumbled, ashamed I got caught. "I'm just stunned you managed to sneak in the whole arsenal. Seeing it now, I would bet that not only do you have one for each of us but also even one spare."

At that he finally laughed, the rich sound warming my heart. I already missed that sound. Corners of my mouth curled into satisfied smile and I quickly gathered all necessary things and went to the bathroom.

When I came out, the daggers were gone from the table. Azriel was seated on the same chair he occupied since we came, pyjama in hands. He was staring into space, looking somehow troubled. Shadows gathered around his ear and he looked up at me, faking smile. Without a word, he stood up and hurried to the bathroom.

While I was waiting, I shoved my used underwear to the bottom of my bag and climbed to the bed, snuggling up in a warm blanket. It was quite cold here, old window hardly blocking the cold wind from outside.

Azriel took quite long to finish. By the time bathroom door creaked open, I was almost asleep. He rustled around for a while and adding big log to the fire, he turned off lights. I waited. The room went completely silent.

I opened eyes. "Are you kidding me," I sat up, sighing. "Az, I thought, we already talked it out." I glared into a dark corner by the hearth.

"Don't worry about me and sleep," he replied from his place on the old chair.

"You can't sleep on that old crap. It will most likely give in soon." The only answer was silence.

"C'mon, Az. It won't do you any good if you're sleep-deprived. To none of us in fact. What if something happens and you won't be able to fight because you are too tired and sore?"

Again silence.

"Do you want me to help you to the bed? I warn you, I'm going to drag you here not by arm but by ear this time."

He chuckled. His wings rustled and mattress dipped under his weight. "Fine then. Have it your way."

I tucked him in like a small child, mindful of his wings and settled down, heart pounding in my throat.

"That wasn't necessary."

"Believe me it was. And don't try to fake it. I'm light sleeper. I will know if you get up in the middle of the night."

"Fine, fine." He sounded amused. He was lying on his back, wings folded and tugged close to his body.

"Relax. The bed is enough big for both of us. Even if you touch me. I'm not made of sugar, I won't melt into puddle," I assured him as I curled up on my side of bed with back to him, taking as little space as possible so he had enough comfort. He made a sound at the back of his throat.

I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep at all with him being so close. But as bed warmed up with his presence and his calming scent wrapped around me as another blanket, I fell asleep in no time.

* * *

Azriel didn't even blink an eye. He was just lying there, stretched on his back, gazing at ceiling. He wasn't used to falling asleep next to someone. After she reassured him, he relaxed a bit but only his body. He was too nervous and excited at the same time. He was scared to even breath, not wanting to wake her up. How could she sleep so soundly? Didn't she feel the same? Didn't his presence stir her nerves?

Shadows curled on pillow near his ear, whispering. They described him in detail how she drifted off with sweet smile on her lips. Smile that she was still wearing. He wished he could see it with his own eyes.

He dared to turn his head to the side to watch her back, her shoulder slightly rising with every breath. Even at place like this in the middle of nowhere, she kept smelling like field of spring flowers, delicate and sweet. He inhaled deeply, enjoying the moment.

He felt so lucky right now and thanked the Mother for sending Amren at last minute, giving him this opportunity. For years, he was trying to get closer to Y/N. No matter how many times, he was ready to tell her about his feelings, he always gave up in the end, not daring to even suggest it. She was everything he wasn't, beautiful, kind and perfect. She deserved better.

He watched her entire night, mesmerized. It was strange. She was always so energetic during the day, yet at night she didn't move at all. It made him wonder whether it was because of him or it was normal.

It was after the sunrise when he finally calmed down and dozed off for hour or two.

* * *

Three days later, a knock sounded on our door. We were just finishing off the lasts of our breakfast. We looked up in time to see Rhysand's head peeking in. He held hand over his eyes with sassy smirk on his lips.

"Can I come in? I wouldn't like to see something inappropriate."

I rolled my eyes while Azriel bid him in, unaffected by his teasing. Honestly, everyone was making fun of us for no reason. After the first night, Nesta pulled me aside to ask me how it went and how I felt. I had nothing to tell her. At least nothing interesting anyway. I slept like a baby and not only the first night, but every night after.

Every evening, Azriel dutifully took his side of bed and I curled up on mine. No touching, only a pleasant small chat between friends. It was noticeable that he didn't sleep much the first night, however after that, he didn't seem to have such troubles. I was glad for that.

"I came to inform you that finally one more room is available. If you want, one of you can take it," he grinned and waited for our reply with one brow raised.

Out of the corner of eye, I looked at Azriel who was already eyeing me with unreadable expression. It seemed he wouldn't speak and it was up to me to decide.

"Well.. I don't mind to share room with Az at all. But if you'd like to have your privacy.." I turned to him.

His eyes widened slightly and his lips moved without making a sound.

"I don't mind, too," he managed.

"So," Rhys dragged the word. "You want to stay together? Really?"

We nodded as one man, not willing to give him what he hoped for. He was visibly disappointed.

"Fine then," he sighed, "as you want. I'll inform the owner."

* * *

A week later we were so used to this situation and each other's presence that we returned to our usual selves, rambling about anything, laughing, even touching lightly.

Our mission was over and this was our last night of sharing room. Azriel was spread on bed next to me, his wing gently touching my back. I was slowly falling asleep while we did small talk. Somewhere between dream and reality I got idea. Crazy as it was, my sleepy brain didn't find anything strange or wrong with it and my body acted on its own.

With closed eyes I rolled to his side, wrapped arm around his waist and rested my head on his chest. Azriel made a surprised sound and stiffened, but he didn't try to push me away. His smell filled my nose, his warmth seeping into me. Frantic but steady melody of his heart lulled me deeper into sleep. Last thing I felt before I completely drifted off, was his body relaxing under me and his arm holding me close.

* * *

Azriel was so surprised, he couldn't think straight. What was happening? He touched Y/N lightly, yet she didn't mind. She was almost asleep, relaxed and seemingly comfortable with him as her pillow. He felt her smiling into his chest and that gave him courage to wrap his hands around her. She hummed with satisfaction and dozed off completely.

Azriel gazed at her, unsure what to think or feel. Naturally, it made him happy, a dream-come-true kind of situation, but was it really okay? Was it really happening? It seemed to him just like a figment of his imagination, fed by amazing week spent by her side, so close to her.

He pinched himself, really painfully, leaving a bruise on his forearm. It was real. He swallowed hard. Slowly small smile spread on his face. He could get used to this.

When the initial surprise and embarrassment had passed, he found himself enjoying this. His heart was pounding fast, as he touched her hair and pushed them aside to see her face. He couldn't help it and traced a single finger down her face and jaw, mapping her full lips, lovely nose and soft arches of her brows.

He chuckled lightly. Y/N didn't even stir. So much to a light-sleeper.

As he watched her, his fantasy took over, offering him all kinds of imaginary situations that could lead to them ending up in this position; from innocent snuggling together for the night to them being naked, covered in sweat and spent after good sex. His heart squeezed in pain. He loved it and wanted it all. He didn't even realize that he was tugging her closer and closer, holding her so firmly there was no space left between them.

Despite everything, the scenario of innocent snuggling immediately became his favourite one. It held a certain kind of peace and warmth, something he longed for the most. He kept replaying it again and again until he fell asleep, too. The fantasy followed him even to his dreams where it became so real that it was unbearable.

* * *

I woke up unusually early at dawn. Still drowsy I looked around, not comprehending where I was. I was warm and comfy, so ready to close my eyes again, until I notice rising and falling steady flesh under me. That completely woke me up.

I looked up, finding Azriel still fast asleep. He was smiling sweetly, yet the tears rolled down his cheeks, soft whimpers leaving his lips. My chest tightened at the sight. It hurt me to see him like this. I reached up and gently wiped the tears off.

He slowly opened eyes and looked at me, still smiling.

"Good morning," I whispered.

"'Morning, Y/N," he replied, his deep voice raspy in the most sexy way. His thumb started to move up and down my waist in soothing motion.

"Bad dreams?"

"Sometimes dreams can be so beautiful that they make one cry," he murmured. He sounded so sad that I felt like crying too. Instead, I placed both of my hands on his chest and rested my chin on top of them.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I searched his eyes.

He shook his head and wiped off the rest of his tears. "I just wish I could go back and keep having the same dream for the rest of my life," he sighed, his eyes never leaving my face.

I propped up on my elbow and caressed his cheek. "You know that dreams don't have to stay dreams. They can became reality if you want them to."

His eyes widened and he swallowed hard. He seemed to be thinking very hard about something. Determination filled his eyes and he lifted up his head, stopping an inch from my face, waiting.

It was so sudden that I held my breath, but I didn't pull away. Watching me closely, Azriel leaned even closer and his lips lightly grazed over mine. I moaned, my body acting on its own. My eyes closed and I firmly pressed my lips to his. All the years of my suppressed feelings poured into this one kiss, not believing that there would be any more. He groaned and opened up, slowly moving, testing the waters. His fingers dug into flesh of my waist, holding me impossibly close.

It ended as suddenly as it started. He reluctantly broke the kiss and rested his forehead against mine, heaving.

"I want it to become real."

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

HELLOOO could you maybe write something for Dave's birthday? :3

A/n: I did not realize it was Dave's birthday until this ask came so thank you for that reminder lol

Also, I have been writing a lot this week, I don't know where the motivation came from but we don't ask question we just go with it, however, I am not going to post a whole lot anytime soon I don't think, I just figured I'd post this since it is Dave's birthday

Warnings: Smut, overstimulation, creampie, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

Also also, does anyone else use the picture to decide what era the fanfic is set in or is it just me? Either way, I started writing this thinking of grandma Dave but at some point I switched to bearded Dave so it works with either :)

Dave stopped enjoying his birthday years ago, roughly when he was about five years old. He wasn't raised to celebrate his birthday, and while being a kid and seeing everyone celebrate holidays was hard he never grew to like his birthday.

His distaste only grew as he got older.

You had him go out and do stuff with his friends and bandmates, not quite a wild goose chase but... he had no idea what he was doing or where he was going.

It was all so you could get ready at home, even though he was asking you repeatedly to come out with him because all he wanted was to spend time with you. It was a hard enough day as it was and now he didn't have the one person that meant the most to him.

You'd made his favourite dinner, even got him drink set up, and you got yourself all dolled up.

You wore one of his shirts over a new lingerie set.

You were just finishing up setting the table when you heard the door open and slam closed, Dave was home.

"Where are you, sweetheart?" He called, sounding drained.

"Dining room!" You called back, getting yourself seated on the table, legs crossed and sitting pretty for him.

He entered the room, shoulders slumped and a grimace on his face. As soon as he saw you his expression lightened up and he straightened up, not even having noticed what you were wearing or doing, he was just happy to finally see you.

He came over to you and wrapped his arms around you, kissing your forehead and cheek down to your neck and finally placing a kiss on your lips, hands sliding from your back to your hips.

"I missed you, sweetheart." He said softly.

You chuckled softly at his affection. It wasn't unusual for him to be extra affectionate towards you, he loved you and would do anything to show it, sometimes he just over did it, not that you minded, not one bit. It made his day to just get to kiss you, to feel you even in the most domestic ways.

"Rough day?" You asked sweetly, wrapping your arms around him and letting him rest his head on your shoulder.

"You weren't there." He grumbled.

"Yeah, but, you were with your friends."

"You. Weren't. There." He repeated, causing you to chuckle.

"Yeah, but I had a reason to send you off." He pulled away slightly, raising a brow at him, not understanding what the reason could've possibly been. "I wanted to make today special!" You said, gesturing to the dinner behind you.

Dave looked past you to the nice little dinner you'd set up, his eyes slowly moving to you and the outfit you wore. "Dinner... and desert?" He asked, looking back to your eyes.

You nodded, a bright smile on your face.

Dinner was one thing, but desert was what you were both looking forward to. You let him complain throughout dinner, and when it came to desert he had your face shoved into the mattress.

His calloused hands gripped your hips in a bruising hold, hips slamming into yours repeatedly, hard cock stretching you out and hitting deep inside you.

"Little bitch, making me run around all day." He said through grunts, hand coming down on your ass, leaving a bright red mark to match the other cheek.

He hadn't taken you out of your -his- shirt or lingerie, choosing to push your panties to the side, letting your shirt ride up over your chest, revealing your pretty bra.

You had tears streaming down your cheeks, soaking into the sheets beneath you along with drool and, a few feet lower, cum. Not to mention the sweat.

You didn't care, you only cared about the way Dave made you feel. How he held you, spoke to you, all of it had your mind running into a muddled mess as you came around him again and again.

You felt his thrusts losing rhythm, his arms wrapping around you and leaning over you, craving more of your touch as he raced for his high. "Oh, fuck, sweetheart- I-I'm gonna cum inside." He mumbled, face shoved into the crook of your neck. "I deserve it, m'gonna fuck you full of my cum."

A few more thrusts and you felt him painting your gummy walls a creamy white, movements sputtering slightly but he wasn't done yet.

This wasn't the first time he'd cum that night, his mind was as much as mess as yours he was just more used to being fucked up, though in a different sense. Still, it came in handy when he was trying to dirty talk you after fucking himself dumb.

He was overstimulated, as were you, but he needed more. He didn't know how much more, but he knew he wasn't done.

[kasagia]

❄️️Warm my heart pt. 2❄️️

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/ The Darkling x fem! heartrender! reader Summary: December. Everyone in the Little and Grand Palaces is excited about the upcoming holidays. Only the Black General seems rather... depressed. Like every year when these holidays are coming closer. Maybe this year, since you've been promoted to his second-in-command, you can make the general's holidays a little more enjoyable? And you're not doing it because you're in love with him and you want to see him finally careless happy... not even a little bit. Written with sounds of: Chemtrails over the country club - Lana Del Rey Word Count: 3,5 k Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @budugu ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 1 ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 3 ~•♤♤♤•~

Sneeze. You blow your nose into your handkerchief as quietly as you can and go back to writing. Another sneeze. You watch the tent flap out of the corner of your eye, ready for his return at any moment.

You caught a cold. Probably because you fell into a snowdrift with him and had… a moment there. You'd probably rather avoid all this. At least your heart wouldn't beat stupidly every time you were in his presence. And the stuffy nose and scratchy throat were just an irritating addition to your misery.

You sneeze loudly just as you hear his heavy-booted footsteps entering his tent. You mentally curse and close your eyes. You hear him brush the snow off his clothes before he stands still as he notices you. His burning gaze on your back almost makes you feel a little warmer.

"I'd like to say that I have right, but you look so poorly that even Ivan wouldn't have the heart to tell you that. Explain to me, in the name of the saints, what you are doing here instead of warming yourself by the fire wrapped in a blanket, preferably with a healer who will help you get out of this?" he asks, crossing his arms and wrinkling his nose at the pile of used tissues next to you.

"We ungrouped. Zoya took everyone with her except Fedyor, Mal, and Alina and went on looking for the stag." you grumble, pulling your coat tighter around you. "Besides, I haven't finished these papers."

"Why the hell did the tracker stay here instead of going with them?"

You shrug. "I guess he doesn't get along with Zoya. He said the stag got scared and found a hiding place to wait out the worst of the snow. He says we'll try again in a week, when it will stop snowing a little bit. I'm not surprised. If I were him, I'd also rather go back to the castle than chase the stag in the beginning of the raw winter."

"If you were him, we would have had a stag's bones in the Little Palace long ago, ready to be used when Alina mastered her powers. Besides, the boy distracts her. Not only does he delay our hunting, he also delays her training and doesn't let her use her full potential."

Jealousy settles unpleasantly inside you, digging a hole in your stomach. You should get used to it. Eventually, he and Alina will end up together one day and make a great couple. Sun and shadows. Light and darkness. Day and night. And other poetic shit like that. They were soulmates. One of a kind. No one could deny it.

"Maybe you're not as good a teacher as Baghra after all?" you say teasingly, trying to enjoy all the attention he was still showing you... at least until he realises that Alina is… extraordinary and is much more worthy of the position by his side. As his second-in-command, right hand, or… even someone much more, you could ever be to him.

"And you against me? My own deputy?" he snorts and walks over to the fire in the centre of the tent. You see the smirk stretch across his lips, and it instantly warms you, even before he even lights the fire.

"Baghra is specific, to say the least, but she is great at what she does. I don't know many people who would ever lose control of their powers after training with her."

"Believe me, I know such people…" he says thoughtfully. He stops lighting the fire and stares at the tinder in his hands. You feel the tension in his muscles and the quickening of his heartbeat as another of his memories comes flooding back to him.

Your heart clenches with grief and sympathy as you see his eyes darken under the heavy flashback. Without thinking, you walk up to him and take the tinder from his hand to light the fire yourself.

"When I was little, my brothers liked to camp in the forest and in the fields. We played soldiers who go to war and have to spend the night with only a sleeping bag and a tent. We had to find the rest ourselves. Our mother had a heart attack more than once when we returned late in the afternoon, dirty, freezing, and starving, but with such big smiles on her face that she didn't even shout at us. She left it to her father." you laughed as the first flames engulfed the logs in the fire.

"What happened to them?"

You're shaking. At first, you don't want to answer his question, but when you look up and see his gaze fixed on you, those dark eyes, so interested in you, you just... melt. Your heart is too weak to let this moment of his attention slip through your fingers.

"Fjerdans. They attacked my village and killed my parents. My siblings and I went to live with our grandparents, and a year later we were tested for Grishas. Only I was. They kicked me out of the house so quickly that I didn't even have time to pack. They did it themselves. My youngest brother took pity on me enough to put his stuffed animal in my bag. As a keepsake. We write to each other. I actually only keep in touch with him. But it's always better than being alone."

"You are not alone." he says it quickly, before he can even process your words, and places his hand on your shoulder, stroking it tenderly. "You... will never be alone, Y/N." he says with such confidence and tone of voice as if it was a promise he would never break.

He looked at you many times, but now. You feel something new in his gaze. A certain kind of tenderness, understanding, need for protection. And you bask in this feeling, as if in the glow of the warmest fire. The fire next to you isn't half as warm as his gaze on you and the touch you feel on your skin even under the layers of clothes you're wearing.

"I... I know." you whisper, hypnotized by the deep gaze of his dark eyes. "I have Fedyor, Genya, David, Alina. You. I found myself a new family. Maybe it's better to be nobody's daughter."

"No one will hurt you like your own family will." he sighs, nodding.

The crackle of burning wood is the only thing that can be heard in the silence that has fallen between you. His hand gradually moves from your shoulder to your neck, where he strokes your cold skin with his thumb, making you shiver.

"You're cold. We should warm you up. Where are your gloves and scarf?" he asks, shaking off the moment between you.

You feel him tense again and go to his bed to grab a black fur blanket and wrap it around you. You blush slightly, enveloped in his warmth and scent. You thank all the saints that he can't hear your heart beating fast… unless he felt your pulse when he caressed your neck with his thumb. Then you are fucked up.

"I left it in my tent. I was in a hurry to get here. I wanted to finish the paperwork as quickly as I could so as not to infect you." he laughs at your words and you frown, not knowing what's so funny.

"I don't get sick, milaya. Get some sleep. Maybe the tracker is skilled enough to track down an animal for dinner. I'll come back with some soup for you. Rest. General's order. I need my deputy to be fully healthy and ready to fulfil her duties. I believe the king will want to call a council as soon as we return."

He throws a pillow at you, which you catch, and he walks out of the tent, leaving you shocked and a little puzzled next to the fire. You immediately feel warmer, and the runny nose bothers you a little less as you allow yourself to lie down. Wrapped in its warmth and scent, you fall asleep ridiculously quickly. Your dreams are filled with him... warming you up in a completely different, more pleasant way.

You don't know how much time passes. You wake up feeling a little better. You look around the tent in a daze, remembering how you got here. The fire still burns, still warming you, but not like a warm blanket and coat. Their black, dark colour clearly indicates their owner.

The smell of something delicious fills your nostrils. Your mouth waters as you look at the huge bowl of warm soup.

"Why is it not a wonder for me that the only thing that can wake you up is food?" you hear his amused voice. You turn towards him. He is sitting at his desk; a candle is lit as he writes something. He lifts his head for a moment and gives you a quick glance. "Eat. You'll feel better."

You take the bowl, and after the first spoonful, you groan at the taste of the soup. "How come this is good? Our supply of spices is long gone; how did you season it?"

He can't help but laugh. He puts down his pen and leans back in his chair, looking at you, curled up in his blankets and coat by the fire. A strange feeling warms him from the inside, seeing you so... at home with him, and if it weren't for your wheezing and red nose, he would have no qualms about enjoying the sight. But he knew you were only here because you were sick, and his care was helpful. No one would willingly stay with him. No one has ever done this...

"I haven't lived in a palace all my life, Y/N. I know how to take care of myself in all circumstances."

"How bad will it be if I say this is better than what you feed us in the Little Palace?" you ask, wolfing down the soup. Somehow he can't help but giggle. The heat inside him continues to grow… maybe you were able to infect him after all?

"Do not get used to it. This special treatment ends when you stop making sounds with your nose with every breath you take. Besides, you snore, colonel." he says it with complete seriousness, but even he isn't strong enough to hide the mischievous smirk that appears on his lips as he watches the growing outrage and embarrassment on your face.

"I am not!" you say it indignantly and throw his pillow at him.

He catches it gracefully with a smirk and throws it next to you, far enough away that you can't reach for it without moving. You moan, but don't change your position. You're too blissfully warm to do that.

"Move up. You can't be in one position all the time. You'll get stiff."

"Won't you massage me, general?" you ask flirtatiously. Your behaviour surprises both you and him, but for some reason, your filter is off. You say what you think, and you don't hold anything back... you also feel very hot, which is both pleasant and a bit bothersome.

"Do not cross the border. I'm not your nurse."

"Shame." you say briefly and put the bowl aside. He watches you carefully, noticing that your movements are a little less coordinated.

He walks over to you. He places his hand on your forehead and frowns. "You're burning. We should take these layers off of you."

"As much as some women would like you to undress them, right now it's not something I want."

"Y/N." he speaks to you calmly and gently, like to a child. "You have a fever. You can't be too warm, or it will only make things worse. I'll bring you some water, and when I come back I want to see you out of this cocoon."

"And who are you, my father?" you huff, crossing your arms and tightening your grip on the blanket.

"No. I am much more. I am... your general. So do what I say."

You roll your eyes at him. Your defiant attitude would have done all kinds of... inappropriate things to him if it weren't for the fact that his main concern right now was your health. That's why he doesn't play and argue with you any longer. He takes you into his arms in one confident, sweeping movement. You squeal in shock, clinging to him, afraid he'll drop you. The blanket and coat fall off you, leaving you only in your red kefta.

"No! It's cold!" you struggle with him in his arms.

He allows you to fight him enough to stand on the ground on your own two feet, but you're still trapped in his grip. You probably would have struggled with him for a while longer (until you had completely exhausted your energy), but you both froze in place when you heard a soft grunt coming from the entrance to his tent.

"Um... general?" Fedyor looks at the two of you confused. "I have that medicines you asked about." you frown at the fact that he sent him to the village to get medicine for you. "Mal also went with the list to Ivan. They will be here with a healer the day after tomorrow at the latest."

"Good, Fedyor. Well done. Leave these medications and get out of here. You are letting the cold in." he says, clearing his throat. Fedyor smiles at his reaction, clearly hearing his rapid heartbeat.

"Yes, sir." He puts the medicines on the table. "I would wish you a speedy recovery, Y/N, but under these conditions, I don't think it's really necessary. Good night." he says this and runs away from there, no longer exposing himself to the general's angry look.

He doesn't stay mad for very long. His thoughts of punishing Fedyor for his insolence quickly disappear when he hears your coughing. He looks at you tenderly and leads you to his bed.

"Here." he whispers and hands you a glass with some strange brown liquid in it.

"Aleksander, I can't drink alcohol in this state." you grumble and snuggle into his quilt, trying to create a cocoon of warmth around you again.

But he won't let you. Which is met with great protest from you.

He grabs your arms and moves you so you're leaning against the headboard of his bed, sitting down, handing you a glass, and glaring at you as he sits across from you, watching you closely. He would make you shiver if the fever didn't already make you tremble.

"Drink it. That's herb. It will help." you look at the glass warily. "What's wrong again?"

"Herbs are bitter. I don't want to drink it." you say angrily and put the glass with that damned thing on the nightstand.

"Your general is ordering you to do it. Drink." he says firmly, pushing the glass to your mouth. You purse your lips, glaring at him defiantly, at which he sighs.

If you were anyone else, he would have abandoned you a long time ago. He would leave you alone to maybe die, and he wouldn't think twice about you.

But you were his Y/N.

It changed everything. And he was terrified about how far he would go for you. There were no things he wouldn't do on your behalf—for your happiness, for your safety—only for seeing that disarming smile that lit up his centuries-worn, dark soul.

"Y/N." he whispers softly, stroking your hair. At the same time, he checks your temperature with his hand.

He frowns and presses a kiss on your forehead, cupping your cheeks with both hands. The glass is long forgotten on the nightstand as he presses his lips against your skin.

He would moan at the feeling of your silky, soft skin if you didn't have a huge fever. He found himself wishing you were warm for a completely different reason than the fever.

"Milaya, you are very sick. Drink the medicine for me, okay?" he asks gently, stroking your cheeks with his thumbs as he looks at you carefully. You're still shaking. You're not sure from what, as you silently nod, still staring at his dark eyes.

He breathes a sigh of relief when you sip the medicine from the glass he holds for you without protest. He makes sure you drink it all before he gets out of bed. You instinctively grab his hand, and his heart sinks when he sees pure fear in your eyes.

"Don't go. Don't leave me alone." you whisper, your eyes staring at him so pleadingly that what else can he do but comply with your request?

He swallows and is surprised himself at how quickly he's at your side again, this time holding you in his arms, close to his chest. The idea of bringing you a cold cloth to cover your forehead flies from his mind the moment you snuggle into him for warmth. He feels like a stupid young boy again when he realises that, in another state, you wouldn't seek his closeness. He pushes away these thoughts, trying to make you as comfortable as possible as he runs his hand through your hair and brushes away the beads of sweat from your forehead.

"You're the best nurse or healer I've ever had." you whisper. Your head on his chest, eyes closed as you float with the rhythm of the breaths he takes. And seeing you in such a vulnerable state makes something break inside him.

"I haven't done this for a long time. Look after someone. I was the one who mainly took care of my sister. Our mother didn't want anything to do with her, and neither of us knew our father... so she only had me. People looked at us askance; the kids treated her like an outcast, so she was left to play with her older brother, a teenager who had no idea how to play with or take care of a six-year-old child, and a girl at that. But there was nothing I wouldn't do to make this little one happy. To give her what I didn't have… at least in a small way. Consequently, I can weave wreaths, braid braids, and other strange hairstyles; sew clothes for dolls; and make them. I played the prince on a white horse with her more times than I could count or be willing to admit."

"Black one suits you more." you comment, making him laugh quietly. "What happened to her?" you ask, opening your eyes and shifting your gaze to him.

He sighs heavily, pausing for a moment from stroking your hair as memories come back to him. And you can see in his eyes how much pain it brings him. You remember the words he said during one of your late-night conversations, when you were up late working on your reports.

The past is a wound that cannot be healed.

"She trusted the wrong people. Now she doesn't let anyone close... not even me."

"I turst you. With my life..." You wish you could hear his thoughts the moment he freezes at your words. "We all do." you add, still conscious enough not to completely pour out your heart to him. He pulls you closer to him, continuing to run his hand through your hair and press a cool cloth to your forehead.

"Thank you, Y/N." he whispers, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

A few months ago, he would have cursed himself for letting you get so deep under his skin... Now he can't help but want more. He hates to admit it, but his mother was right.

Men are greedy creatures.

But how could he not want you more? Not to want everything you can offer him when it was you who awakened in him human feelings that he had been hiding from the world for a very long time? When could he be JUST Aleksander with you?

He checks your body temperature again by pressing his hand gently against your forehead, cheek and neck. He hums satisfied, feeling you cooler and your temperature closer to normal.

"You are cozy." you mumble as he is checking on you and you rest your head on his shoulder, hugging him tighter. There is a strange sound buzzing in your ears.

"Cozy?" he asks, amused, knowing full well that in other people's eyes he was anything but comfortable or cozy. And there you were, cuddling up to him like he was your favourite stuffed toy, feeling safe enough to fall asleep in his arms.

"Yhm..." you murmur, burying your face in his neck to sigh in his scent. "You are the best pillow in the whole world."

You hear the pounding in your head more clearly as your nose presses against his pulse point in his neck. You find this very irritating. If you were a little more aware, you would have realised that it was his heartbeat that was making it difficult for you to fall asleep. What you also don't realise is that you are using your powers on him and calming him down, causing you both to fall asleep.

The tickle on your forehead from something very soft and warm is the last thing you feel before you fall asleep. And he only had time to remove his lips from your skin before you unconsciously forced him to fall asleep, cuddled up against you.

[rosearcanaeum]

(Ten) people I'd like to know better

Tagged by: @screechingfromthevoid <3

Last song: Far From Me by Chase Noseworthy is just on repeat. Sad boy Vax and perfect for my range!

Favorite color: it really depends on context honestly. But the most general is soft pink.

Last book: 😅 I've been struggling through Nein Eyes of Lucien for a while.... more honestly its Call of the Netherdeep and Explorers Guide to Wildemount. I truely read far more fanfic than anything else.

Last movie: I watched Night at the Museum for the first time this week. It was waaaaaay better than I ever imagined. I knew it was good and funny. It was also incredibly sincere and I can't get enough of that.

Last show: speaking of sincere, I'm about halfway through Frieren: beyond journey's end. And holy shit! I have never seen any media with a character who views and interacts with death the way i do. Its pretty heavy as shows go but its trustworthy. (I have a hard time with new stuff most of the time. Cr is one exception and this is too apparently)

Sweet/spicy/savory: no joke I've eaten salt before lol. But i prefer combos or all 3. Sweet spicy is underrated.

Relationship status: I live with my queer platonic partner. Its still just buckwild to me. As a kid i hated the idea of living with a partner cuz i didnt want so many aspects of what i was told that looked like. But hey guess what, y'all can decide what your relationships look like. We have separate rooms, are not sexually involved, rarely even touch tbh. And we love each other very much and want to grow old together in a house with cats.

They're touch averse and I'm sensory seeking. My fun Sunday night (out dancing) is their nightmare. But because we are who we are and how we understand and communicate in our relationship we rely on each other for only things that are available. I'll tell them all the dumb shit i see and do on Grindr and we'll sit on the couch and knit together.

Also my brain nearly explodes everytime I realize not only do we do couple stuff, we have couple friends we do couple stuff with. 18 year old me would have never believed you if you told them.

Last thing I looked up: I looked up the caffeine content of the thai tea concentrate I got my partner to see if i could try it. And shockingly i should be able to. Still gonna eat first and be careful though.

Current obsession: I'm pretty spread out rn, unusually. Ive got a sweater im excited about. And I'm on my 3rd attempt at a dorym water bottle sleeve I'm designing. This one should work now. Honestly dorym is probably no. 1 on my list. I shipped that back in exu, along with a bunch of stuff cuz I'm a delightful multishipper. So i feel particularly excited about dorym finally taking off. But also that while dorian was always looking to orym if anything else had come along he was there for the ride. I love robbie so so much. He is such a good character storyteller!

Looking forward to: today im hanging with 2 friends im usually in a larger group with so thats gonna be fun. Looking forward to baking off the beef wellingtons i made for my partner for xmas. And im looking forward to being able to work full time again in the new year. Ive been on part time for health reasons and stayed because i was spending hours on the phone fighting for insurance coverage. Now that both a done i can work more. I love my job and its a particular kind of boredom that i get when i cant work. Lol speaking of, im looking forward to the holidays being over. The office closures normally screw us but now im only working thurs fri for the next 2 weeks and I'll have try really hard to keep busy enough. At least my partner has 2 of the days off with me!

No pressure tags; not sure I can get to 10 and please dont feel obligated but I'd love to see yours (if you havent already. Ive been avoiding spoilers a lot recently so may not have seen it): @vigilante-apologist @standbyyourmantis @soedblackchaos @forestthechonkykitty @corrrvid @local-redhead-bookworm and luddles looks like you did already do this.

Thats all i got. If you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

[pedroshotwifey]

Christmas Countdown Day 11 - Too much Eggnog

Cravings

Pairing: Frankie Morales x pregnant!reader

Word Count: 975

Tags/Warnings: not much, no use of y/n, fluffy fluff, lil garnish of angst at the beginning, throwing up but not graphic/descriptive, Frankie being a sweetheart, reader is preggo, established relationship

Summary: Frankie comforts you after you ignore his advice

A/N: Hey babes, thanks for reading! I really do like this one. Every time I write fluff, it honestly surprises me that I can. Tomorrow's prompt involves Javi G, and it will be my first time writing him, so I'm not sure how that will turn out, but I'd appreciate whoever sticks around to find out <3

***

“Baby,” Frankie says hesitantly as he watches you gulp down another glass of eggnog. “Maybe you should slow down on that.” 

You set your now empty glass down and shoot him a glare. 

“I think I’m fine. Maybe you should slow down on telling me what to do,” you snark back and cross your arms. He sighs and shakes his head but doesn’t retaliate. 

You know you’ve been a bit snippy with him these past few weeks with the pregnancy, but you can’t help it. You also see where he’s coming from on the eggnog; this is your fourth glass today. You’d never tell him that, of course. 

You don’t even fucking like eggnog. Well, at least you didn’t before your dumb cravings started to kick in. Now it’s the only thing you seem to want half the time. That’s what you get for being pregnant during the holidays. 

You get up to refill your glass and Frankie follows you. You huff an annoyed breath as you pull open the fridge and reach for the carton. 

“Sweetheart, I–”

“Can you not?” you fume as you set the carton on the carton and shut the fridge with more force than necessary. You just want one more small glass; you don’t understand what the big deal is. 

Frankie winces both at at the tone of your voice and at the sound the door makes as it closes. 

“Baby, I’m just trying to help,” he says cautiously. “You remember your morning sickness phase…” He looks at you, watching your impatient expression as you wait for him to stop talking. He licks his lips nervously and carries on. 

“I just don’t want you throwing up again, and that eggnog isn’t going to help.” 

“Oh my god, I’m not going to throw up,” you say, whipping back around to pour some more in your cup. “I haven’t even had that much.” 

You can tell Frankie disagrees by the hiss he makes as he sucks in a breath. He takes his cap off to run his fingers through his hair as he usually does when he’s anxious.

“Alright baby, but maybe just take a break after this one.” 

You roll your eyes but comply. 

“Fine, Frankie. If it makes you happy.” 

You put the carton back in the fridge and sit back down at the table, Frankie resuming his seat in front of you. He watches you tiredly, one hand supporting his chin as you take a sip. 

***

You’re sitting on the couch, snuggling with Frankie when you feel it. A rolling, nauseating feeling in your stomach, bile coming up to your mouth. 

You throw the blanket covering you off and hop off the couch as fast as you can, heading straight for the bathroom. Frankie jumps up right after you, concerned about your sudden outburst. 

When he reaches the bathroom a second after you, you’re already leaning over the toilet bowl, starting to puke. Frankie sighs and gives you a sympathetic look, but he’s right next to you in an instant to hold your hair up and rub your back. 

“I’m sorry honey, I know it doesn’t feel good,” he says soothingly. “Get it all out, there you go, you’re doing good baby.” 

You appreciate him so much in moments like these. You feel disgusting as you spit into the bowl, your entire body heaving, but having Frankie next to you makes bearable. The circles he’s rubbing on your back soothe you enough so that you’ve stopped panicking.

Once you’re sure it’s all out, you grab a piece of toilet paper and wipe your mouth. You look at Frankie with tired eyes, his expression full of both love and pity. 

He lets go of your hair to embrace you, and you lean into him, letting out a quivering breath. You close your eyes and let him hold you. 

“You okay sweetheart?” Frankie asks quietly. You nod into his chest. 

“Alright, let's brush our teeth and get you to bed, okay?” You nod again. 

He helps you up and plants a kiss on top of your head before leaning around you to flush the toilet. You wash your hands and look at yourself in the mirror, frowning at your reflection. 

“You just look tired, baby,” Frankie assures you when he sees what you’re doing. “Working so hard to grow our little angel takes a lot, mama.” 

You meet his gaze in the mirror, and he looks back at you lovingly, his deep brown eyes warm and inviting. You smile sheepishly at him. 

He steps behind you and reaches for your toothbrush, picking it up and squeezing a glob of toothpaste on the bristles. He wets it, then hands it to you. 

You watch him get his own toothbrush ready as you brush your teeth. You don’t know what you did to deserve him. 

Once you’re both done, you put your brushes back into the holder and walk across the hall to the bedroom. Frankie helps you change into a baggy T-shirt for bed, and then he strips down to his boxers. 

You both get adjusted under the covers, you with your head on his chest and your leg over his. He gazes down at you in the lamplight, and you stare back, your eyes having a silent conversation. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you,” you whisper. Frankie chuckles quietly and rubs his hand up and down your back. 

“That’s okay, baby,” he says. 

“I love you,” you tell him truthfully. He smiles warmly at you, almost amused at how quickly you can switch from being defiant to affectionate.

He leans his head down and you tilt yours up, your lips slotting together in a gentle and lingering kiss.

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

He leans over and tugs the string on the bedside lamp, plunging the room into comfortable darkness.

*** Thank you for reading! Please consider liking, commenting, or reblogging if you enjoyed this fic <3

Also lmk if you would like to join the countdown tag list :)

FOTJC: @arcanefox207 @redhotkitchen @magpiepills @exquisiteserotonin @sparklefarts38 @pink-whiskey-woman @youandmeand5bucks @legendary-pink-dot @for-a-longlongtime @secretelephanttattoo @morallyinept @beskarandblasters @tightjeansjavi @theywhowriteandknowthings @nerdieforpedro @maggiemayhemnj @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @ghostofaboy @joels-shitty-puns @elvinaa

WCC: @amyispxnk @melaninmommy @brittmb115 @mandoalorian

Link to prompt list

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my brother his wife is using him?

This may be long but I want to make sure there is enough info for you to give an accurate judgment. TLDR at the end but I encourage reading the full post

I (25f) have an older brother, J (28m). I also have a younger brother (22m), L. J and I were always close when we were younger then grew apart as we got older, the boys always were close. The year J graduated high school we became close again.

J met his gf A (29-31f, I dont even know how old she is but she's older then J) during college. I remember the first time A came home with him, and she was very sweet but very nervous. We clicked and had a good conversation that lasted hours (we all were at our parents house and us girls had to share a room and the boys did too). Anytime there were holidays we stayed at our parents and did this (big holidays that colleges had off like Christmas and Thanksgiving)

We met up a couple of times and all was fine. It was hard as they lived far away from where we grew up (2-4 hours depending on traffic and routes). Then I moved to the country, about 20 minutes away from them. We met up more often, but only maybe about once every 3 months. No big deal, I was busy working. Then J and A got engaged and it felt like everything changed.

I would invite them to hang out or get dinner, but J and A would make excuses. J would be like "A can't come so we won't make it" even when I said "okay but what if only you came? You're my brother?" He would make excuses. The days they agreed to meet up, suddenly day of couldn't go. He was tired after work, she wasn't feeling good, the car wasn't working. Anything and everything you could think of. I did notice whenever L came to visit me and stay, J and A would always be available to meet up, even if it was last minute.

So I figured...it somehow must be me? And then they got married. And it was beautiful.

Or so im told as it was a private ceremony and I wasn't invited :) I actually was originally told the date, which I asked off of work for, but then I got a text a week prior saying "guess what happened tonight" and then was told they got married. L was there. Our parents and myself were not. A did tell me she didn't feel right inviting our parents if her parents weren't there...but why not me? I was told it was a private ceremony and only L was there as a witness, but one of their friend's posted pictures and it had over 5 different people in them

I tried to let it go but honestly it hurt me and pissed me off and everything kept adding onto it. I have zero clue what the hell i did. I have texted J and asked him point blank if he is mad at me, he would deny. I asked for A's number cause he mentioned she was lonely and had lost friends, I said we could go get our nails done since that's something she likes (I dont but I figured I'd extend an olive branch) he refused to give it to me. It seems its me but again I have zero clue why.

It worsened after me and J got into an argument. They canceled again, and I do know A was having a bought of depression at this time. I understood, as someone diagnosed with depression and anxiety. But J told me I never would understand (A was still going out to places and hanging out with friends, meanwhile there were days I couldn't get out of bed and called into work sick. I know we shouldn't compare mental illness but it seemed like an excuse to me. A also would do things that she has said makes her mental health worse, like reading and watching things that triggers her). The whole reason I wanted to hang out is because I had Christmas gifts from our parents and a few of our childhood friends for them (L was out of the country at this time and had mailed a gift to them). They kept bailing and I tried for TWO MONTHS, I finally delivered the items the week after Valentines.

One of our friends was a baker and TOLD THEM she baked them a cake, special for them because A has dietary restrictions due to a chronic disease. They knew this and it spoiled. So I was upset for my friend, and I lied and said they got it to save her the hurt.

But when J finally told me to drop off the items I blew up at him. We stood outside his house and yelled at each other. He flat out told me to stop being so emotional and that I was letting hormones get in the way of thinking, and that I should understand A being depressed. I did! I yelled at him he should get his head out of his ass and that he is letting down not just me but our friends, especially the baker who has a waitlist and made stuff SPECIAL for them. He didn't thank me for my gift, but texted each individual person for theirs.

That was in 2022. A month after I apologized and he said he forgave me. But nothing has changed. Since then they didn't wish me happy birthday (they called L on his, he is now living with me temporarily, but when I pointed out I didn't get a happy birthday from anyone *literally only one friend wished me a happy birthday and L, even my own parents forgot* A told me I needed to get over myself and that birthdays weren't that important to them so I shouldn't take any offense. I didnt expect them to wish me a happy birthday this year because of that, but my true friends and my parents did remember this year),. They didn't come to my college graduation. I stopped texting J and I hadn't heard a response since. We did see each other this past Christmas coincidentally, not planned as they didn't come to our parents. J was pleasant, A said nothing but watched me the whole time, and I made excuses to leave this Christmas party as I didnt even know they knew the person throwing the party.

I came home early from work this past week and J was visiting L (something J claims he can't do during weekdays cause he works 9-5 during the week...allegedly). J gave me a hug and we all chatted for about an hour, it felt like old times, but then his wife called. It was a smooth conversation then I got brought up, and suddenly A needed J back home immediately. He bailed on dinner plans he and L had (L had spent all day cooking a roast, it was delicious btw and yes L was upset J didn't stay).

I had enough. I called J during his "work hours" on his cell. J answered and I chewed him out. I said our brother was hurt and whatever the issue with me is HAS to stop. If he doesn't tell me whats wrong, I CANT fix it. J told me there was nothing wrong with me and I was reading too into it. I pointed out some of the same instances I listed and he told me I was reading into it. He then accidentally let slip that A didn't want us talking. Which I figured. I blew up and told him A was using him. A was turning him against me and our parents *i am too lazy to go back but he stopped talking to our parents the same time he stopped talking to me but he always talked to L*. I mentioned how she is an adult and if she has an issue with me she needs to tell me, but instead she's a fucking coward. J yelled at me that she has anxiety and I yelled back "bitch I do too! I'm on fucking meds for it" which i know she isnt. J hung up on me.

Not only is everything above an issue, A also: doesn't have a job and only J has the income. Claims its because of her illness, the one that causes dietary restrictions, yet EATS said things even though she knows makes her sick. She won't let J meet up with our childhood friends. A also has stsrted getting J to take edibles with her. If J is tested, it will get him fired from his job. But then she complains he's being a loser if he doesn't do edibles with her.

The kicker is this: A solely used to date women. J is NOT a woman, nor does he want to identify as one. J knows A used to date women, and again tells me I should be more considerate seeing as how I am openly bisexual. However, and I havent told J this, one of the conversations I did have with A after they got married, she told me TO MY FACE "yeah, I never imagined marrying a guy yet here I am." Laughed and I kind of was like oh haha, isnt it crazy how things work out, to which she said "I dont even like men!" Slapped my thigh laughing and continued laughing. I was bewildered and when J had returned and asked what we were talking about we both changed the subject.

I did tell L when that happened and he thought it was weird but we couldn't change anything as they were married. I dont know if I should tell J.

But really I do feel as though A is using J, but now im wondering if I should lay it out more clearly WHY. Or if I should stay out of it. They already seem to hate me, so part of me is like why not go for it. But L is talking me off that bridge (my therapist is also testing me for something that isnt solely anxiety and depression) . I know J is hurt as he told L such, and part of me feels bad I yelled, but also the rest of me wants to key his fucking car and tell him to shove it up his ass and ban him from seeing L at my house as it is MY house even though L is living there

AITA?

TLDR: I yelled at my brother his wife is using him as she doesn't have a job, always falls back on her mental and physical illness yet does things to make them worse, and has also told me she doesn't like men (she used to exclusively date women prior to my brother).

What are these acronyms?

[heli-writes]

Seven summers, part 3.

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x female!reader

Summary: Every summer, Draco and y/n meet. First, by pure coincidence, then intentionally. Unbeknown to Draco, y/n's a muggle who has no clue he's a wizard. With the rise of the dark lord, how long can this go well?

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Series Masterlist

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dearest y/n,

School's incredibly boring. The only fun thing going on is that tournament. I do love seeing Harry Potter struggle. He totally deserves to have to fight that dragon. He's cheated his way into this tournament anyway. Not that I'd like to join. No prize money and fame in the world is worth fighting a real-life dragon for.

Blaise is seeing that girl he went to the Yule Ball with. It's disgusting, really. They're always standing in the hallway making googly eyes at one another. Also, before you say it, I'm not jealous because they get to see each other and we don't. Plus, they're nothing like us. They haven't even kissed. They're probably like your archnemesis, that Becky girl. If they don't see each other over the summer holiday, they probably lose interest and break up before the new school year starts, too. Meanwhile, we rarely see each other and we're together just fine.

Talking about it, would it be possible for you to send me a picture? It's not like I have the desperate wish to look at you every day but the others don't believe me about having a girlfriend. They think I invented you because I don't want to come in second to Blaise. It's really ridiculous but it would probably shut them up.

In all honesty, though, I can't wait until summer comes along. Not seeing you has been a lot harder since Christmas. Summer just can't come fast enough.

Love, Draco

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Fifth summer, July.

Y/n can't wait to see Draco again. It's the first week of the summer holidays and the weather is fantastic. A few weeks ago, Draco and she agreed that y/n would come to visit him at his family's home. Y/n was a bit reluctant to agree because she feared that her little muggle secret would be blown if she stayed with a wizard's family. Luckily for her, Draco canceled just before school was over with little explanation why she couldn't come over anymore. Instead, Draco proposed to spend a weekend in Salisbury, a town a bit away from his parent's house. He promised to take care of accommodation since he had to cancel last minute.

Y/n probably should have a bad feeling about this. She lied to her parents and said she is visiting her school friend Olivia whose parents have a vacation home in Wiltshire. Y/n's parents know Olivia and her parents well since the two girls often spend time studying together for big tests, so they don't question the whole thing. All in all, y/n has always been a girl who followed the rules and never gave her parents a reason to mistrust her. Y/n tells herself that it's fine. She trusts Draco and he wouldn't do anything to hurt her or get her into trouble. It seems as if he himself is afraid to get into trouble with his father and therefore is careful about what he does or doesn't do. Plus, if the whole thing turns out to be a disaster, she just takes a train home.

Y/n takes a deep breath while she stands on the platform and waits for the train. There's a heavy feeling in her stomach that she can't shake off the entire way to Salisbury. When she gets off the train, she looks around unsettled. What if he didn't come? What if he had to cancel again last minute? Worried thoughts race through her head and she can barely register what she sees around herself. Suddenly, a hand grips her arm softly. "... y/n? Are you deaf?", a familiar voice says. Y/n is ripped out of her spiral and looks up to where Draco stands. "I've been calling you all the way from over there.", he tells her. Y/n takes a shaky, relieved breath before answering: "Oh, I'm sorry, I really didn't notice you." Draco gives her a soft smile, the kind of smile she's been missing since Christmas. "It's alright. I'm just glad you came. For a moment, I thought you didn't step out of the train.", he says as he pulls her into his arms. Y/n hugs him back and relief overtakes her. "I also thought you maybe didn't come.", she confesses. Draco leans his cheek against her hair. "Why that? I promised you I'd come. Actually, I'm really glad to get away from everything for a while.", he tells her. Y/n breaks the hug apart. "Oh? Did something happen? Is that why you needed to cancel meeting at your place?", she asks him. Draco shifts his weight uncomfortably. "Yeah, haven't you read it in the paper? There was an accident at the tournament.", he replies. "Oh.", is all that y/n manages to say. Somehow, she doesn't like the way he said 'accident'. Y/n shakes it off and gives his arm a pat. "Hey, it's summer! And we have a whole weekend to do whatever we want. Let's not dwell on dark things!", she tries to cheer him up. Draco gives her another smile and nods.

"Right, let's go! I'd say we get you settled first and then we plan our weekend over a good lunch.", he says and takes y/n's luggage. "Yeah, so where are we staying?", y/n asks him. "A family friend has an inn in town. We booked a room.", he tells her. "We? As in your parents and you?", y/n asks surprised. Somehow she finds it hard to believe that Draco's parents would allow him to go on a weekend trip with a girl they barely know. "Yes, though I didn't specify which friend I'm taking. My parents have been so busy the past few weeks, they didn't bother to ask.", he points out with a mischievous grin. Y/n giggles. Seems like Draco is not afraid to get a little bit in trouble. "Are your parents ok with this?", he asks her, and y/n proceeds to tell him about Olivia. "I don't think my parents would approve of me staying alone with a boy at an inn.", she ponders. "Well, we have two separate beds. There was no way I could've found a believable reason why I need a double bed with a friend.", Draco points out. Y/n has to laugh. "Oh, but you thought about it?", she asks him cheekily. Draco's ears turn a bit red.

When they stand in front of the 'inn', y/n asks herself if Draco was joking earlier and if this trip was really a good idea. They're standing in front of a rundown, seemingly deserted, house. "If there are ghosts, I'm not stepping inside of this place.", y/n tells Draco. Draco only nudges her and says: "Have a little faith, it's a great place.". He knocks on the door and loudly says "Clabbert". With an abrupt swing, the door opens and a small, very gloomy-looking old man opens the door. He musters the two of them up and down, seemingly disapproving. Y/n shudders. The man has long, unkempt hair and clothes that look like from three centuries ago. If she met this guy on the train, she'd definitely switch compartments. "Malfoy?", he asks in a grumbling voice. "Yes, my mother sent you an owl a few days ago.", Draco tells him. "Hm. And her? She smells like a muggle.", the man asks and gives y/n a mean glance. Y/n wonders what a muggle smells like, when Draco swiftly answers: "My cousin. We're visiting an aunt in town, but she doesn't have enough space for us.". Y/n's surprised at how effortless Draco can lie. The man grunts and retreats inside, leaving the door open. Draco gives y/n a sign to follow him.

Y/n really expects the worst when she enters the house. Naked walls, rubble, and a freezing breeze. However, when she enters the house, she is met with warm candlelights and old-fashioned but cozy decorations and carpets. The man leads the two of them up an old staircase. Draco tries to lift both his and y/n's luggage, but y/n quickly takes her own suitcase. The man hands Draco a key and points towards a door at the end of the hall. "Last one on the left. Breakfast is at 8:00 am sharp.", he just tells them and stomps down the staircase again. "Charming.", y/n comments dryly. "That's just old Goover. Don't bother with him.", Draco chuckles. "Goover? That's his real name?", y/n asks while they walk towards their room. "Dunno. That's just what my parents call him.", Draco shrugs. At the door, Draco starts fumbling with the key and tries to open the door. "And he's your parents' friend?", y/n asks surprised. Draco's father looked so sophisticated. It's hard for y/n to believe that he's friends with a guy like Goover. Draco manages to open the door and pushes it open. "Yeah... uh they used to be in this club together. Here we are! What do you think?", he quickly tries to change the topic.

Y/n enters the room. The room has the same old-fashioned style as the rest of the house. There's a fire burning in the fireplace, filling the room with a comfortable warmth that immediately makes her drowsy. "I take the bed close to the wall!", she announces and throws herself onto the bed. "Sure.", Draco says and settles onto the other. Y/n starts unpacking some things from her suitcase while Draco watches her.

Y/n rolls over to face Draco and she props her head on her hand and says: "So, what now? Lunch?“. Draco nods. "Yes, I know a good place. C'mon!“, he says and stands up. Y/n pushes herself from the bed and grabs her purse. "Let's go.“, she smiles.

Somehow y/n expected to choose a fancy restaurant with steak or filet. His family does not look like they eat the same way they dress, namely expensive. However, Draco takes her to a fish and chips shop that looks like it's been opened somewhere in the 70s. The smell of fryer oil hits them in the face upon entering. An elderly old, white couple stands behind the counter. "G'day my lady.“, says the man and gives y/n an overexaggerated bow and a toothy grin. "Och, George. Be a little bit more serious around our customers.“, his wife says and nudges him. Y/n takes an instant liking to the couple. They remind her of her grandparents who live in the Yorkshire Dales and have a little cottage in the middle of nowhere. They used to have a farm with sheep there but since they retired they gave away most of the animals. "We'd like some fish and chips, please.“, Draco says as he walks up to the counter. "Then you're at the right place, lad. You want some mashed peas, too?“, the man asks. "No, thank you. Y/n?“, Draco says as he turns to y/n. "Yes, please! And some vinegar, too!“, y/n cheers. They pay for their order and sit down to wait for the food.

"So, tell me about the accident at school. What happened?“, y/n asks Draco as they wait. Draco looks down at his hands and solemnly says: "A student died in the tournament.“. Y/n wished she'd be surprised but everything she heard about the school screamed deathtrap to her. Basiliks, soul-sucking creatures, dragons. Nothing of that screams 'safe' to her. The only thing she's surprised about is that this didn't happen earlier. "Oh, I'm sorry. Was he a friend?“, she says compassionately. Draco shakes his head. "No, I barely knew him. Was in a different house and all.“, he tells her. Y/n crooks her head in thought. Considering the fact that he didn't know the guy, the whole thing left Draco pretty shaken, y/n thinks. She also notices how he doesn't really want to talk about it, so she quickly changes the topic. "How were your finals? I feel like I could've done better.“, she tells him. Draco gladly accepts the topic change and starts talking about his own exams. "The finals were terrible! I mean the results were fine but I just hate the exam days.“, he complains. Y/n nods in agreement, happy that they found a common topic. "Yes, they're just so stressful. It's like how am I supposed to write three exams in one day? My head is already smoking after the first one!“, she adds. "True. Which subject did you find the worst this year?“, Draco asks her. Y/n hesitates for a moment. She knows that they have completely different subjects at Draco's school. Witchy subjects. Does she lie now yet again or does she tell him the truth? She decides on the latter. "Algebra. It's my worst result. I was truly desperate when I saw the exam.“, she tells him truthfully. Draco frowns and gives her a confused look. "My school teaches muggle subjects.“, y/n tries to explain. "Why would they do that?“, he asks. Y/n has to think about that for a moment. "Well, muggle subjects are about real-world stuff, so it makes sense to learn about that too, you know?“, she tries to argue. "Real-world stuff? You consider the muggle world real but the wizarding world not?“, Draco asks her confused. Y/n shifts in her seat uncomfortably. Yes, it's exactly like that. She lives in the muggle world, her reality, and the wizarding world may be real but it is just some far-away fairytale world for her. However, that's not something she can tell Draco. Suddenly, she feels very hot and she can feel some sweat rolling down her neck. "I just mean the muggle world is as real as the wizarding world. So, we should learn something about both worlds since we can't just ignore the existence of the other.“, she explains. Draco ponders on this for a second and y/n is proud that she gave a clever answer. It's something she truly believes in. Muggles should learn about wizards and the other way around. Right now, muggles and wizards just live next to each other and y/n wonders what might happen when they start living together, in one society.

Before Draco has the chance to reply, the man behind the counter interrupts them and brings over their plates. "Bon appetit, my lovebirds!“, he says and winks at them while he puts their plates down. Somewhere in the back, y/n can hear the woman groan "Och, George! Leave them alone!“ which makes her chuckle. In the end, he's not wrong, she thinks. Y/n and Draco thank them and pull their plates towards them. "Enjoy!“ she tells Draco and he gives her a smile. For a few minutes, they eat in silence. Y/n hasn't had some real fatty, unhealthy fish and chips in a while and she truly enjoys it. With a mouthful of fish she groans: "Man, this is so good!“. Draco gives her a grin and swallows. "It is, isn't it? It's the best fish and chips in the whole of England!“, he tells her. Y/n nods in agreement. "You know, my parents used to take me to Cornwall every summer holiday. On the last day, we always had fish and chips in this crappy old shop at the coast. This reminds me a lot of it.“, she narrates. "Why are they not taking you anymore?“, Draco asks her. Y/n shrugs. "I don't know. They're both busy with work, I guess.“, she answers. Draco pushes some food around on his plate. "You have a good relationship with your parents?“, he continues to ask. Y/n thinks about this for a second. "I guess. I mean we don't argue a lot, unlike other kids in my class. It's mostly because I bring home good grades and don't act rebellious, I think. But it's not like we spent that much time with each other, just around the house for meals and stuff. And you and your parents?“, y/n replies. Draco continues to push his food around and takes some time before he answers. "It's similar but my parents are also very strict, especially my dad. Even when I'm not acting up, sometimes I just say something he doesn't approve of and he gets pissed off.“, he mumbles. Y/n already thought that's what their relationship was like.

She is ready to move on from the topic when Draco suddenly asks: "Do you sometimes feel like your parents do stuff you'd never do?“. "I mean, yes. My mom always wipes off the soles of her shoes after entering the house. I'd never do that. I just take them off. I only wear them outside anyways, why bother wiping them all the time?“, she says. Draco shakes his head and frowns. "No, not like that. I mean like... I don't know... bad things.“, he tries to specify. Y/n crooks her head. "Depends. You mean like tax evasion bad or murder bad?“, she asks. Draco shrugs. "Something in between?“, he offers.Y/n leans back in her chair and looks up to the ceiling. She is trying to remember if her parents or any family members ever did something that falls into that category. "Well... my uncle supports the alt-right movement, at least in spirit. He doesn't do much besides having a big mouth.“, she tells him. Draco looks a bit confused. "You know the type of people who'd like to oppress people of color and women? Like, he told me that abortions and illegal immigration should be punished with the death penalty at a family dinner.“, she explains. Draco nods relieved, then looks at his plate again. "Are your parents like that sometimes?“, y/n asks him softly. "Hm, yeah.“, Draco tells her almost embarassedly. Y/n reaches over the table and takes his hand. "Don't worry about it. Important is that you don't get involved with stuff like that.“, she says and squeezes his hand.

Suddenly, having lost all appetite, y/n proposes: "Hey, why don't we get out of here? Let's have a look around town and discuss what we want to do for the rest of the day“. Draco agrees and they both get up. They bid the nice couple goodbye. Y/n feels relieved when the fresh, warm summer air hits her face. "I'm probably going to smell like a deep fryer for the whole next week.“, she says while sniffing her clothes. Draco snickers and casually takes her hand. Y/n has to blush a bit and doesn't look at him. She also doesn't let go, though. Together, they stroll through the narrow streets of the medieval town. They decide that they take a walk along the Avons and check out the Market Walk. Y/n stops at a bridge and yells: "Draco, look!“. A family of ducks are merrily paddling along the shore. Draco walks up behind her and places a hand on her lower back. He stands so closely behind her that y/n can feel his chest slightly pressed against her side. Carefully, she leans back into him and Draco puts his arms around her, pulling her close. He leans his head against hers. "They're so cute.“, y/n whispers. Her heart suddenly beats up into her throat. "You're cute.“, Draco whispers back and strokes over her hair with his lips. Y/n twists in his arms so that she can look up to him with wide, almost expecting eyes. Draco softly presses a kiss to her forehead. When y/n doesn't pull back after it, his gaze flickers towards her lips. Y/n leans a bit closer to him and Draco lowers his lips so he can properly kiss her. Draco's lips are soft on hers. His hands find their way into her hair and he pulls her head closer, deepening the kiss. Y/n feels as if she is pudding in his arms. For a moment, she forgets that they are standing on a busy street. Draco pulls back and looks at her for a moment. "I've been waiting to do this since you stepped out of the train.“, he tells her and y/n has to giggle. "Well, you have a whole weekend to do this a couple of times more.“, she teases him. Draco raises an eyebrow and asks: "Is that an invitation?“. Y/n gives him a peck and answers: "Yes, it definitely is“.

They let go of each other and walk to the market hall hand in hand. Y/n feels like she could fly and all worries from this morning are long forgotten. The couple strolls through the market hall. Y/n stops at some shops and picks up some trinkets and books. Draco sneers at her affection for romance novels and y/n makes fun of him for being forced to read the great classics by his parents. Eventually, they have tea in a small tea room. They sit crammed in a little nook, holding hands under the table. The women serving in the café watch the two giggling and putting their heads together with soft smiles. It remembers them of a time long ago when they were first in love. On their way back, they stop at a Tesco and get some sandwiches. They have their dinner at the shore of the river and watch the sunset together. When y/n grows cold, Draco pulls her into his lap as an excuse to warm her up. However, all he does is steal some kisses. Something that y/n doesn't mind he does. When the streetlamps light up, Draco helps y/n up and they make their way back to the inn. They stop holding hands a block before the inn and create some distance between them. Obviously, Goover is not supposed to think that some cousins are romantically involved with each other.

Back at their room, y/n takes her toilet bag and disappears into the bathroom to have a long nice shower. She wants the smell of fish and chips out of her hair. Returning dressed in her pajamas, Draco also retreats to the bathroom. She uses the time to text her parents that she arrived safely and how she spent her day. She quickly puts the device away when she hears Draco opening the door again. A towel lays over his shoulders and water drips from his hair. Y/n thinks he looks marvelous. Draco plumps onto his bed and dries his hair. "So, what do you want to do before going to bed?“, he asks her. "I brought some card games if you wanna play.“, y/n proposes. She ends up teaching him Skip-Bo and UNO. Being a terrible loser, Draco demands compensation after she hits him with a 4+ for the fifth time. They end up making up on the floor between their beds. Firstly, their kisses are sweet and careful, still testing each other's boundaries. With time, their kisses grow more heated and longing. Draco pulls her into his lap again and his hands start roaming her body. He slides his hand under her shirt, stroking against the soft skin of her lower back. Y/n's hand messes up his hair. At some point, Draco's leg falls asleep. In an attempt to shift their position, his long legs hit the nightstand and the vase on it tips over with a loud 'clonk'. They let go for a moment, looking bewilderedly at the source of the sound. When the vase doesn't fall onto the floor, they are just about to continue when there is a loud knock on the door. "What are you children doing in there? You pay for what you break!“, Goover's agitated voice rings through the door. The two quickly dart apart, scared the man will open the door and see them in a compromising position. Draco clears his throat and quickly yells: "Sorry, I walked against the nightstand. Nothing's broken“. There is shuffling in front of his door, then silence. Draco and y/n look at each other with wide eyes, and then they both have to laugh. Y/n quickly brushes through her hair with her hands in hopes of looking more presentable. Draco shakes his head and chuckles. "Maybe that was our cue. Probably best to leave it at that for the night.“, he says. Y/n nods. She's a bit glad that they got interrupted. Kissing Draco like that felt good but she also had no idea where they were going with this and if she really wanted to go there, wherever that was.

After brushing their teeth, they settle into their retrospective beds and turn the lights off. After the conversation dies down, y/n lies wide awake in her bed. She turns over to Draco and listens to his breath. She stares into the darkness, hoping to make our Draco's shape. Eventually, Draco turns towards her and she notices that he's still awake. "You know“, Draco suddenly whispers into the dark, "I kinda really wish we had that double bed right now“. Y/n giggles at that. "I could come over“, she whispers back. "You could.“, Draco agrees. Y/n bites her lip in contemplation. "But no funny business?“, she carefully asks. "No funny business.“, Draco agrees again. Y/n slips out of her bed. The floor is cold beneath her naked feet and she hurries to get under Draco's blanket. He puts the blanket up and y/n cuddles herself into his chest. Draco pulls the blanket and his arms over her. Y/n can hear his beating heart. Draco puts his hand into her hair, softly messaging her scalp. The warmth and Draco's hand against her head start to make y/n dizzy with sleep. She nuzzles into his neck and slowly lets sleep take over.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tag list: @gypsylilim @caffeine-addict-slug @huiiline @rclector @am0iur

[Please leave a note if you'd like to be tagged too.]

[xaviers-home-for-wayward-pokemon]

Hi there :) Is there a reason this blog died? is it harder to get shinies in scarvio? or just busy irl? no worries ofc! im truly just curious! i miss you guys! i miss the gen 7 era lol :'3

Hi there, Nonny. There is not an easy answer to this question, and unfortunately it involves breaking my biggest rule with this blog and steering away from pure positivity. I'm happy to share the story if you want to read on, though.

TW for family member death, therapy trauma, and friendship ending.

I always had a tradition of doing a big giveaway around the December holidays and then taking some time off for the new years. Generally I'd try to get back into giveaways no later than February since that's Mewtwos "birthday" and it would be a yearly tradition to give away versions of this blogs mascot.

In December 2019, my mom passed away.

There is no good time to lose your mom, but there is most definitely a worst time. Five days before Christmas, one year after the death of your father, two weeks after the birth of her one and only grandchild (following years of fertility issues between myself and both of my siblings), one month after her retirement, and one month before a massive family vacation that was meant as a Christmas gift she never opened ... Well that's pretty much the worst time. She was in near perfect health but her death was the result of a car accident, and she did not leave any form of will. I don't know if it's possible to explain how much work it is to deal with probate, burial, and associated lawsuits on top of mourning the death of one's own mother. Needless to say, it's a lot.

My sister lived in another state at the time and was busy with her newborn, and my brothers disabilities prevented him from contributing much to the situation, meaning the only one who was able to handle things was me.

Which unfortunately meant pokemon giveaways had to be put off for longer, and as expected, it's pretty hard to write pep talks in that state of mind.

For obvious reasons, I started going to therapy. While there I expressed interest in wanting to do giveaways again, and my therapist encouraged it. I even purchased a hackable switch with the intention of finding a way to hack the newer gen mons, but figured I could use the old action replay for the old gens until I got that figured out. A small handful of you may recall this is when I started streaming; in part, it was too reach a wider audience, and in part to encourage more engagement. Unfortunately, engagement in the giveaways only decreased, and that's on top of the hacking taking twice as long with the need to mass transfer between the 3DS and Switch.

During this time I actually quit my job, because being executor of my mother's estate became a full time focus and I was fortunate enough to have a supportive partner to encourage me. Not to mention, well, we all know what happened in 2020 to make working more difficult for everyone.

Before long, I realized that doing giveaways had become a chore. No longer was it work that brought joy to myself and others, it felt like an obligatory burden. It was no longer fair to put so much pressure on myself over something that was meant to be fun, and with everything else I was dealing with, it was time to be fair to myself.

However, I did not originally intend to abandon this blog indefinitely, and thought at least I would keep up the daily pep talks.

Now I want to be clear: I am not anti therapy. In fact I encourage anyone who can to seek professional help whenever the situation calls for it. I will not go into any further details besides this: I actually have some trauma regarding therapy. It makes seeking out and opening up to therapists very difficult, and it's something I've struggled with since childhood. So when the therapist I had (who I felt was working well) left the practice and I was assigned a new one, it was not a good mix. Especially when the new therapist wanted to focus on things I felt were irrelevant and/or non-issues.

One of the unforseen "advantages" to having barriers between yourself and professional help is that you get pretty good at helping yourself. The reason why I enjoyed writing this blogs pep talks is because they were often words I used to encourage myself, and it brought me joy seeing them encourage others. At this point in my journey, I had to focus exclusively on helping myself, and that carried the consequence of no longer being able to help others. After all, if I do not care for myself, then eventually, there will be nobody to care for anybody.

Another factor came into play at this time. Many of you noticed this blog changed names from Vales Home to Xaviers Home. At first I said this was because the new mod team shifted focus away from the original "lore" of the blog and that a focus on our mascot as opposed to one member of the mod team made more sense (keep in mind, when it started, the blog was equal parts giveaways and fanfiction/RP). While this is true, it is only part of the truth. The fact of the matter is, Vale and I had a falling out. Vale was legitimately one of my dearest, closest friends who I felt I could turn to for anything, and the decision to end the friendship was one of the hardest choices I've ever had to make. While I do not regret the decision, it does make looking back on this blog a little bittersweet.

At the end of the day, there is not one reason why this blog died. My own personal turmoil, trauma, Nintendo's decisions, and a general shift in the community combined to make running this blog a burden too great for me to bear. While I have no intention to start it up again, I also cannot bring myself to delete the blog. The happy memories and positivity it generated during its time is worthy of preseveing, in my opinion.

I also do not want you to think my life has been pure turmoil over the past five years. On the contrary, I think I am in a better place now than I was in 2019. I went back to school and started a new career. I now work in a hospital helping people in real life instead of online. I overcame a lifelong phobia of driving and bought a car. I rediscovered a love for crafting, and have taken up new hobbies in driving to craft fairs, camping, and nature photography. I ended 2019 miserable working a dead-end sales job and mourning the death of my mother. I am ending 2024 with a thriving career, a joyous hobby, and a big group of supportive friends both old and new.

While I am not active on this blog, my main is still very much alive and you're welcome to follow me if you don't mind largely video game shit posting interspersed with occasional writing or photography. Also, even though the discord server associated with this blog is inactive, I am still on and using discord should you ever wish to chat.

I am beyond glad if this blog ever sparked joy for you. If you read all of this, thank you for staying by my side. If you didn't, that's okay too.

And remember: Xavier loves you. ♥️

-Typhon ( @typhonserpent )

[ninus9607]

3. Mcdreamy & Bar

two weeks later...

I was sitting on a bench in the local park around midday and children were running all over the place. God, I hate kids. After a week, I finally had a day off from the hospital, meaning I slept at least 8 hours. I had forgotten how good sleep was. After the best sleep of my life, I decided to go for a walk and that's how I ended up here. I thought it would be here quiet and peaceful, the perfect place to relax. But I was wrong about that.

There was a terrible noise everywhere. Children were chasing each other and their parents were trying to calm them down. It's just a horrible mess. I tried to ignore it and pulled out the book that I had wanted to finish reading. But after a while, I gave up. As I got up on my way home, something bumped into me. It almost knocked me down, but somehow I stopped it and didn't fall. With an angry look on my face, I turned to see which kid had bumped into me.

But, when I turned around, I saw a cute little golden puppy with the ball in his mouth, looking at me. As soon as I saw him, my eyes turned into little hearts. I was on my knees next to him, caressing him with my hands.

"Hi puppy, oh my god,  you're so cute and smart and beautiful." I praised him in a baby voice. He kept looking at me and his tail was wagging happily. He threw the ball he had in his mouth at my foot... I think he wanted me to play with him. I probably shouldn't just go and play with a stranger's dog, but who could resist the cutest little dog I've ever seen?

I picked up the ball and threw it just a little bit away from me. The dog ran with such energy and in a moment he was back.

"Such a good boy." My heart is bursting with happiness. I have loved dogs since I was a little girl and this little one is just a darling. All of a sudden, I heard someone screaming, and as I turned towards the sound, I saw a woman looking at me, and as she looked at the dog I saw a relief in her face.  it must be the dog's owner. The dog's owner was a woman, with brown hair. But she was far away and I couldn't see much of her face.

When she came to us, she immediately started to apologize. "Oh my God Max! I've been looking for you everywhere!" she said to the dog, and she put the dog on her collar. "I'm so sorry that Max bothered you, he ran away and I couldn't find him anywhere."

When my eyes met hers bright blue eyes, a shiver ran through me. I stood there as if frozen. But I tried to get something out of myself. "O-h t-hat's not a problem, he's very sweet and playful, but you should keep an eye on him, he might get lost." God, why is this happening to me? Darling, gay panic  Fuck even my brain makes fun of me.

"Yes, I'm not used to looking after a dog, it's my niece's but they're on holiday so I'm looking after him."

"If you ever need any help I'd be happy to help." Am I really just offering to help her? Where did I find the courage?

"Oh, I would love to see you again."  And she winked at me with a big smirk on her face. "Can you gi-" Her phone started beeping. She pulled it out of her pocket, and a little sigh came out of her. "I'm so sorry, I have to go, but I'm sure we'll meet again sometime." And then she left.

I sat on the bench for another half an hour or so, thinking about the strange woman I had just met. Something was different about her, some force attracted me to her and I don't even know her name. And she was definitely my type. She looked like she was about 30 or 35 years old. If someone asked me what my type was, that would be the only answer. 

OLDER! Women or men? Both.

I looked at the clock on my phone. It said it was around 3 pm. I agreed with Meredith that I would visit her at 4 pm, so I had plenty of time, and I didn't want to sit in the park for another hour, so I decided to walk, it's about 40 minutes to Meredith's place. Throughout my entire walk, memories of that woman kept popping into my head, It was quite annoying. I felt like a creep who was obsessed with someone.

By the time I got to the Meredith driveway, it was about 3.45 pm. I knocked on her door, but there was no answer. I have tried it twice more, but still no response. Maybe she's asleep? or dead on the floor. OK, that's enough. I took the key she had hidden under the flower pot. Typical American. I walked down the hall to the living room, but no one was there.

"Mer?" nothing. "Meredith?" still no response "Guys?"

Had no one been home? Not even Izzie? No one? That seems strange to me. Izzie's always home. Then I heard a faint voice, but it was more like a sigh. It came from upstairs. I went upstairs to see what was going on, the closer I got to Meredith's room I think I found out what was going on. I think as a normal person I should probably give her some privacy and I wanted to, but I wanted to make fun of her so I just walked up to the door and was going to knock. But when my hand touched the wood of her door, the door flew open. I saw what was going on in the room.

"Meredith?? and Doc. Shepherd???" I was shocked.

"Doc. Anderson you shouldn't be here," He said quickly and covered them with a blanket. Meredith was on top of him and looking at me embarrassed.

"So McDreamy is your McDreamy? I had no idea you had it in ya."

"It's not what it looks like. I can explain." Meredith said with fear in her voice.

"I don't think it's necessary, but don't worry, I won't judge you, but really, McDreamy?" I started to laugh

Meredith smiled at me, knowing I wouldn't tell anyone. She replied "Oh come on, we call him McDreamy for a reason. Don't say his hair isn't great."

"Well, he's not the worst, but he doesn't have a beard. That's a big minus."

"Hey?! I'm still here?" Derek said.

"Darling not now," I said, pointing at him, and he looked at me with amusement.

"But isn't he a little bit too old for you?" I asked Meredith.

"Says Miss I want to fuck all, who are older than me by at least 10 years?"

"Good point Mer, you got me, okay so, you can go back to whatever you were doing, see you tomorrow at the hospital Mer," I said as I closed the door and went into my house. I think I can say that tomorrow's shift with Derek is going to be interesting. When I got home, I made coffee because I was pretty exhausted and a good cup of coffee solves everything. I sat down on the couch with my coffee and turned on the TV.

There were only some reality shows on TV, it was very unusual to watch American channels on TV. Sometimes I miss the reality shows I used to watch at home. I looked at my phone and realized I had forgotten to call my mom. It's a bit harder to communicate with Europe because of the time difference, but if I remember correctly it should be around noon. So I clicked Wattsap and called her.

The phone call lasted about two hours, and my mother asked me all sorts of questions, especially about work and how I was doing. She was very worried about me, but she knew I could take care of myself. Then she told me about the holiday she was taking with her boyfriend. She sounded happy and I was very happy for her.

After the call ended, I sat down at my desk and checked my emails, because it happened on my first day at work, I really don't underestimate it anymore. But my email inbox was empty, so I guess nothing's wrong. I opened Google and scrolled through some news. Nothing very specific.

After a while, I got bored, so I closed it and thought what should I do, maybe I should go to sleep, but it was too early to go to bed, even though I should go to bed when I have free time, but I don't feel like it. So I came up with a great idea.

I can have a few drinks at the Joe Bar where we went with Izzie and George. Then I can get some sleep. So, I took a quick shower and got dressed up in something nice, and maybe a little bit more revealing. I wear a black dress with a slit. I knew I wasn't the skinniest, but I looked good and that was more important to me.  I ordered an Uber and went to the bar.

I walked into the bar and was surprised to find that it was quite full. I sat down on one of the empty stools at the bar. Joe turned to me and asked me what I wanted to drink. but a strange man joined us and put his hand on my thigh. It was a younger guy, but he was obviously drunk.

"Can I buy you a drink, gorgeous?" His hand was still on my exposed thigh and it wasn't very comfortable.

"Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not interested" Probably his drunken brain didn't want to admit that a woman had rejected him, so he still touched me. All of a sudden, a protective arm wrapped around my body at my side.

"I think you have heard that my wife is not interested, so get out of here." My wife? What the fuck is going on? I looked at the woman who called me her wife to protect me from that guy, and to my surprise it was the woman from the park I couldn't stop thinking about. The man muttered a couple of curse words and walked away.

"I hate men who are pushy, even when you say no," she said in an angry tone of voice. But her hand still didn't move from my side.

"Thank you for saving me from him, but I also feel like you are stalking me," I said in a teasing way. But I expected her to just laugh at it, but she surprised me.

"Maybe i am, but let's move on to something more important. I can buy you a drink, darling?" She was looking at me intensely, waiting to see how I'd react. Well, I already knew that I would automatically say yes to her.

"I would be happy if you would," So she ordered us drinks and we sat down together at the next table. Her whole personality enchanted me. She was so charismatic and dominant, and yes, older. She was exactly my type.

"Will you tell me your name then, sweetheart?" Her voice was very hot.

"Lena"

"Amelia" And we shook hands with each other.

"So tell me, what is a beautiful woman like you doing in a bar like this all by herself?" Amelia asked as she took a sip of wine and her eyes kept looking at me. Don't look at me like that. I don't think I can resist you anymore.

And so we spent the whole evening talking, laughing and, above all, flirting. She was very nice and funny, she told me about her family and about her brother who is also a doctor like her. I didn't tell her that I worked in a hospital. I didn't want to tell someone I didn't know very well, although Amelia would be a different case.

As the night went on, I had a few more drinks and that's not a good idea for a cheap stomach. I was a bit drunk and that's not a good combination for me.

"I really enjoyed it Amy, but unfortunately I have to go home and go to bed." I was on my way to my feet, but her hand stopped me.

"You're definitely not going to go alone, I can at least go with you, I want you to be safe."

"No, you don't have to."

"That wasn't a question my dear, I'll take your things and take them with you." And that is what she did.

"Wait a minute, we have to pay, I have a wallet in my pocket."  I stopped her in front of the door but she just smiled at me and said.

"My love, I have already paid for it a long time ago, so you don't need to worry about it."

if I wasn't so drunk, I would definitely argue with her, but she's just awesome. So we left the bar together. I felt safe with her all the way, which was quite difficult for me. When we reached my street, I hugged her to say thank you. She was surprised but hugged me back even though, she was taller than me and it was quite visible.

"Thank you for seeing me off, my house is close by, I'll be safe" I tilted my head up so that I could look into her eyes.

"Okay, you'll be safe from here, I should probably go." Except she didn't move, we stood very close to each other, I could feel her breath. And then I took that step, I don't think I would have done it if I hadn't been drunk. I leaned over to her and kissed her, waiting to see if she was going to move as well. After a while I felt her hands on my body, one of them pulling me even closer to her and the other grabbing the back of my neck.

This woman knows her way around me. Her lips tasted amazing, and I had just experienced the best kiss of my life. When we ran out of breath, we pulled away from each other but she wouldn't let go of me from her grip. My eyes were only on her, trying to find out what she was up to, but before I knew it she was pushing me against the nearest wall and kissing me.

We kissed for a long time. It was indescribable. But she stopped it because she didn't want to use me when I was drunk. How sweet of her. She can use me whenever and wherever and I will be grateful to her.

"Honey, I'm enjoying this very much, but we have to stop because you're drunk and not thinking clearly, we'll talk about it tomorrow. Okay?" She put her hand on my cheek.

I didn't want to stop but she was right, so I just nodded at her. She gave me one last kiss and then turned and walked away. I reached home, I put things on the table in a completely disorganized way. After that, I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and changed my clothes into some comfortable pajamas. Still pretty drunk, I set my alarm for work and sat on the bed.

As soon as I had laid myself down on the bed, my mobile phone started to beep.

Unknown person

Good night Len, I really enjoyed today and I can't wait to see you again, sweet dreams                       

Amelia S ♡

I wanted to write back to her, but the exhaustion got the better of me and I fell asleep.

AN: WOW, It was supposed to be a short part, but somehow it turned out to be the longest one also I apologize in advance for my English and grammar. ( my dysgraphia caused it) Also if you have any questions feel free to ask anything. See you at the next part <3

PS: YES BECCA, Addison will be in the next part.

xx

[pettyrevenge-base]

No you can't have new years eve off.

So I started a new job this year and up until recently I've genuinely been enjoying it. There's some colleagues I've bonded with really well with and I'm actually really good at what I do. I work in primary care for the NHS (UK) and patients are always telling me how helpful and how kind I am. Since I joined in January, 6 patients have bought me chocolates/flowers by way of a thank you for fixing certain problems for them. For the first time in a really long time I feel like I've found some sort of calling. As lame as that sounds. But recently my days have become increasingly difficult.

4 months into my employment my colleague (let's call her Trish) who trained me up had to take some time out for a health issue so I spent 3 months basically doing the job without her, and at times it was incredibly stressful being the only person able to perform the job. Admittedly there was maybe one or two days it was too much and I had to run off for a small cry before getting back out there. However, eventually ended up taking it in my stride and thus gained praise and respect from colleagues and patients alike. But when it was said Trish was coming back I was relieved because I thought it would give me a bit more breathing room. I was wrong.

Now I'll preface all of this by saying that Trish isn't particularly well liked. She's known for being blunt to the point of cruelty both to patients and coworkers, she's snappy, and rude to pretty much everyone. There's negative comments regarding her on Google fir crying out loud. She's had umpteen complaints against her but they keep her around as she's worked there for around 20+ years. When she went on leave, granted I didn't know her that well, but we got on well and in spite of everyone bad mouthing her behind her back or making snarky comments when she went into a different room, I stood up for her. No one was particularly overjoyed she was coning back from leave other than me.

For the first few days she was back she went straight back to trying to "train" me in spite of the fact I'd been doing everything solo since her absence. Which rubbed me up the wrong way a little but I ignored it. The last time I saw her I was still regularly asking questions. So that's fair enough. But even though she could see I was quite capable and competent she kept talking to me like a moron so I had to be quite blunt with her and tell her I'd been doing the job by myself perfectly well with 0 help from her or anyone so I didn't need to be "refreshed" with training.

Since then (July) the relationship has soured somewhat. We're civil when it comes to work stuff but outside of that we don't really talk. Until a couple of weeks ago. I had a particularly difficult patient call up 3 days in a row and I just needed to vent. In my head it came under the headline of "work related" so I vented to Trish about the patient, she agreed the patient was difficult and I did the correct thing for them etc. I thanked her for letting me blow off some steam about it and went to do something else. I forgot something though so went back and caught Trish bitching about me to 2 other colleagues, calling me soft, a whingy cow, i just need to grow up and get on with it etc.. She was like a deer in headlights. Nothing was said between us but the whole next day she may as well have been kissing my arse.

Now my supervisor messaged me the other day re an extra holiday day around Christmas, Trish is on annual leave currently so the supervisor hadn't yet asked which extra day she wanted. From previous conversations with Trish I know she wanted to take the last few days of the year off so she could go over to Europe to spend NYE with her adult child. After the way she's treated me the last 2 months I felt like being incredibly petty so I asked for the day I knew she wanted and asked to use a couple of my annual leave days as I have "family commitments" meaning I had 3 days off, total, following the weekend (this was also going to be Trish's plan). My supervisor gave them to me. So that now means Trish won't be able to take the days off as there won't be any cover. I also know she's already booked her hotel and flights and she was just waiting for the supervisors to bring up the extra holidays.

So fuck you Trish.

TLDR; Caught a colleague slagging me off so knowingly booked annual leave for dates I knew colleague wanted. Colleague had booked hotel and flights to visit family for NYE. So now she won't be able to go as there won't be cover due to me having booked the time off.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

[raijintosworn]

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: Cyan

Pronouns: she/they/he

Birthday (no year): 28/05 (I share my birth with Siegbert and am between Mercie and chrom!)

Where are you from? What is your time zone? From France, live in England so like 5 hours ahead of the toa clock so I miss a lot

How long is your roleplay experience? Like 15 years now??? What the fuck

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? So I had a friend in school who was a weeb and asked if I RP. And I thought he meant. You know. Nsfw. So I was like Ew no :( I am a teen that is gross. Then he explained he meant like fandom RP and how it works and then I joined him on GaiaOnline YES I'M THAT OLD THANKS AND YES I STILL USE GAIA. I started with hetalia. Yes I'd still like to die

How were you introduced to TOA? Lailah hinted at me for like 2 weeks with lines like "I joined this group and you know Gerome misses Cynthia" and I kept going "sounds fun :)" and did not realise they were hinting until they straight up asked. wow I have been here 6 months

Do you have any pets? No :( I don't have the time for them

What is your favorite time of year and why?(Season, holiday, general period) Summer despite you know. The bugs. But I can actually function in summer

What is your IRL occupation? Data entry; it's why I'm on the discord server most of my day now

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? I like cooking, baking, oh and I'm a cosplayer! I've been at it for 3 years and yes it's mostly fire emblem bar ONE (soon to be two)

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? Tales of (WHERE ARE MY TALES FRIENDS AT), Persona, critically acclaimed mmorpg FFXIV, octopath, ?? I'm not sure what else? I tried playing dragon age but it crashes constantly even with the fixes

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: I don't think I have a fave type but I really really love Dragonair 🥺

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! I once wrote about the ships I hate for an English exam. Got an A. But at what cost. One was a hetalia ship (I was a child.) and another was Bart and Milhouse. 😑 Yes that Bart and Milhouse.

How did you get into Fire Emblem? I was told to play Awakening because I'll love it and I'll totally love all these characters. Um. I never finished it. Then Fates came out, twitter didn't shut up about that and I refused to play it. Then 3H came out. I saw Edelgard and it was joever for me. So I bought it and I've been here ever since.

What Fire Emblem games have you played? Engage, 3H, Fates (all three routes baby), Awakening, Echoes, Warriors, Sacred Stones, a little FEH until I was put off cause I summoned Easter Xander, a little FE7 and I WILL. FINISH. PATH OF RADIANCE. I SWEAR TO YOU ALL RIGHT NOW.

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: first was technically Awakening but I didn't like it so I dropped it until 2022 I wanna say? So really my first FE was 3H. My favourite? Depends on the day.

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series!

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason!

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays?- Awakening:- Fates:- Three Houses:- Engage:

Favorite Fire Emblem class?

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable?

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? (Black Eagles, Blue Lions, Golden Deer, Church of Seiros, Those Who Slither in the Dark, unaffiliated civilian, other - for example Almyran)

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent?

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? (Firene, the Kingdom of Abundance; Brodia, the Kingdom of Might; Elusia, the Kingdom of Knowledge; Solm, the Queendom of Freedom; Lythos, the holy land of the Divine Dragon; Gradlon, the desolate land of the Fell Dragon)

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔(separate letters, to-ah, other?)

Current TOA muses: Cynthia and Ryoma!

Past TOA muses? Alas :(

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Cynthia! My beloved. I didn't think she could be such a strong muse I picked her up cause I was bullied into it. Now she bullies me daily

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) I don't know actually? I love posh assholes. I love sweet girls. I love chaos characters. I dunno you should see my muse list on my indie it's a wild mix

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? I wanna write unrepentant assholes but I can't :( I struggle with that. I'm trying tho

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) um. Well. I like intimate stuff if you're picking up what I'm putting down. But then I run away about 2 replies in so I write fanfic usually. I like kissing too. Um. I love high emotional scenes too. If I could describe my writing style, it's "My Dinner With Andre - the novel" (I've never seen the film but I get the gist)

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? I want Ryoma to be happy. Like genuinely I want him to be in a place where he can forgive himself, maybe even forgive the nohrians. I want him to move on and have a peaceful life as a teacher. But I also want him to fall in love which is. So silly. But. My brain is a shipper lol. As for Cynthia? Hm. I have thoughts for her but that's a whole arc

Favorite TOA-related memories? I dunno! I've had a lotta fun here but I can't think of any specific stuff offhand? Maybe how welcoming everyone was when I joined that was nice 🥺

Present or past tense? Present! I live in the moment! I tend to tense match but present. I like third person and second person POV too but I can't RP in second person BC it feels weird? I mostly write in second person if I'm writing a vent fic. Why? I dunno

Normal size text, small text, no preference? I like tiny text but again I size match. I snoop to see what my partner does and copy them :D

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉  I am working towards the worst fucking creature. 0/10. I hate him (Innes. Yes he's my discord icon rn why do you ask). If someone else grabs him, hm. Tana? L'Arachel? I had more but I'm gunning for my moron mullet man ngl I have THOUGHTS

[razor-tits]

A very long and over due life update.

So, to start this off I guess I need to back up. Let's start in October. It feels like yesterday but also a lifetime ago. Things were...ok I'd say. Boring, routine, the only shake up was my hormones ran out and my job was changing our insurance, so I had to cancel my follow up appointment for bloodwork and a refill. But then I got some bad news from my parents.

My dad had a heart attack and was in the hospital. He was ok, but he needed surgery. First they thought just a stent, but then decided he needed a triple bypass. I have a pretty good relationship with my parents, but we're kind of distant. I live a few hours away and only see them around the holidays but we talk on the phone weekly. My dad can lean a little on the conservative side but both of them are the absolute salt of the earth. They're done so much to help me and I felt powerless to be able to help. I couldn't leave work and felt like there was nothing I could do.

The next couple weeks were rough, my dad was staying in the hospital, my mom was going back and forth staying with him and taking care of my grandma, who is in her late 80's and has a litany of health issues. On a Friday I finally managed to make the drive home and spend the weekend there. Seeing my dad laid up in a hospital gown tied to machines is something i'll never forget. He could get up and move and acted like he was ok. But he's one of those guys you meet and you think he's invincible. The kind of guy that put a new roof on our house with a broken finger and can't turn away a stray animal at the door. Some family members I hadn't seen in a long time came and went over the weekend. Thoughts of our own mortality set in and I realize this could be the last time I see any of them.

I've lost people before. Some of them suddenly and unexpectedly. Others who's death was almost a sigh of relief after fighting for so long. I never got to say goodbye when my friend died and I hope he knows how much he meant to me. I don't want to feel that again, ever.

The day of surgery came. He was in the OR for 3 hours but it felt like an eternity and a second at the same time. A few hours after that my mom and I were able to see him. He was extubated already, which was a good sign. But he was on heavy medication, incoherent, coming in and out of sleep. But he knew I was there and that's all that mattered.

I had to leave and make my way back to my parents to get my dog, and then make the 2 hour drive back to Ohio and go back to work in the morning. At this point I knew my dad would be ok, he just had to get through recovery. But now thoughts of my own health were worrying me. I'm not in the best shape, I don't exercise or work out. I've already had surgery to fix stomach problems. Everyone on my dad's side has heart problems, and everyone on my mom's side has cancer and diabetes. There's not much I do to prevent any of that. I'm in my 30's and I feel it, maybe more than I should.

Over the next couple months my mental health continues to fall. I had a birthday and spent it sick, as I always seem to do. It's always a rough time of year for me. Seasonal depression kicks in, I get older, and another year passes. My dog, my best friend, the reason I kept myself alive, is getting old. I see it more and more every day and it breaks my heart.

The holidays came and went. I saw my grandma for the first time in a few years. Always wondering if it will be the last. Despite that, this year I never felt less in the holiday spirit. I used to love this time of year, now I desperately try to enjoy it, but part of me just wants it to be over. The best part seems to be a few days off work.

At this point it should be noted I have not restarted hormones. My identity has always been more in flux than i've let on, and maybe that needs to be it's own post, but I don't know if I want to start again or not. I don't know what I want, I don't know what my goals are. I don't know who i am. Beyond basic hygiene, I really don't even feel like taking care of myself most days. I pretty much always feel melancholic. I'm not angry, I don't get excited, I don't have much joy. My sex drive is non existent and I have no desire to do...well, anything.

New year's comes and I honestly couldn't care. It feels like another day. My gf and I go out and have an Ok time. I'm just so tired all the time it's hard for me to go out and enjoy myself like I used to.

And then, a couple days ago my landlord calls. We have to move out. Not sure when, but probably soon. I'm heartbroken and panicking over it. We absolutely love our house. We've only been here about a year and a half but it's been wonderful. It has plenty of room, privacy, it's quiet. We can leave our doors unlocked and packages aren't stolen off our porch. We're allowed both of our dogs and all 3 of our cats with no issues. We've invested so much time and money here. My gf is close with the owners and their children, who were the previous tenants. We even thought about trying to buy this house off of them when their other kid moves out of the downstairs apartment. And it's affordable. Anything else like what we have now will cost double and we can't afford that.

Our last apartment was tiny, cramped, dark and ran by an awful property investment company. And now we have to deal with that again. If we can even find a place where we can take 5 animals. We can hide 2 of the cats, but not all of them. We're in no position to buy nor do we have the time to go through the process. My gf said we may have to find 2 different apartments and live separately for a while. Just the thought of that brings me to tears. I can't live without her, I can't live without our pets. We're a family. I don't know what to do.

Since I got the phone call I've done nothing but panic, contact rental agencies and weigh my options. None of them are good. Best case scenario is we move in a smaller, worse place, paying more rent.

Nothing is going right for me. I know this isn't insurmountable and nothing that people haven't gone through before. But...god damn I need a break and I can't get one.

[eldritchsurveys]

1278.

1 - What have you been up to so far today? Is that a typical thing for you to do on this particular day of the week? >> I played some DA2, I did some laundry, and some other miscellaneous activities. This is mostly typical behaviour, except for the laundry which I obviously do not do every day.

2 - Did you get a decent night’s sleep last night? How many hour’s sleep do you consider a decent amount? >> It was all right. I consider 6 to be acceptable, 7 to be good, and 8 to be, like, exceptional.

3 - What is one silly thing that really gets on your nerves? >> The, like, extra-cutesy baby-talk kind of Internet speak. "tol/smol" and "littol" and "ouppy" and that kind of nonsense. I don't ever say anything about it because it goes against my values; I can sit with my own squick, no need to make other people feel bad for having an incredibly harmless fun time on the Internet. But man, it grates on me.

4 - Who was the last person you saw who wasn’t family? What did you guys end up doing together? .

5 - Do you prefer hot or cold drinks overall? >> I don't think I have an overarching preference. Which one I go for depends on many factors, environmental and internal both.

6 - Do you own a decent set of waterproofs? If so, what do you use them for the most? If not, do you think that would be something you’d find useful? >> I assumed this means a raincoat but the "set of" is throwing me off. Maybe a set is like... a raincoat and boots? But also "what do you use them for hte most?" is throwing me off as well. Because what else would you use that stuff for except... going out in the rain? Google is being no help on this matter. I'll just stick with: I don't have any rain-specific gear, and the only things I own that are especially waterproof are my all-purpose boots and my earbuds.

7 - Do you have any plans for the rest of the day? >> It's 19:30, the day is basically done. I'm just going to be drinking tea and messing around online until bedtime.

8 - How often do you get your hair cut? When hairdressers were closed due to COVID, did you try cutting it yourself at home? >> I buzz my own head every couple of weeks or so.

9 - What did you wear the last time you left the house? Is that different to what you’re wearing at the moment? >> I wore black leggings with this kind of panel garment over it (I don't know how to explain it; it's like if a skirt was missing the sides); a black t-shirt of some kind (I forget which one... the Dethklok one, maybe?), a thick black and white cardigan with a subtle skull knit design, and a black cape. It's both very different and not very different at all from what I'm wearing at the moment, which is a fuzzy black bathrobe and nothing else. (The vibes are similar even if the complexity is not, lol.)

10 - Would you rather have a relaxing beach holiday or a more active holiday in the mountains? >> Either is fine, so other factors would have to determine which one I'd choose.

11 - Do you know how to tie a tie? >> I don't remember anymore. Don't use it, you lose it.

12 - How old were you when you first had a sleepover at someone’s house? Did you miss home? >> I've never had a sleepover. But, like, I was one of those kids that 9 times out of 10 would get physically ill if I experienced that much of a shakeup to my daily life, so. Probably wouldn't have enjoyed it even if I'd had the opportunity, not until my teen years. 13 - How often do you spend time with your extended family? .

14 - When you get up in the morning, do you have a set routine? >> Sort of? It's not rigid because I can't do rigidity, but I do tend to do similar things in a similar order every morning.

15 - Do you remember the last time you cried? Were they sad or happy tears? >> I do, and it was frustrated, stressed tears.

16 - What do you have planned once you finish this survey? >> I'm just going to go back to looking at tumblr.

17 - What was the last thing you cooked? Did you cook from scratch or just heat something up? >> The last thing I assembled in any way was a pair of Pop-Tarts, in my customary fashion of putting butter on the unfrosted side and then sticking them in the air fryer.

18 - Are you a fan of hot chocolate? Do you like it plain or do you prefer to add things like whipped cream or marshmallows? >> I used to hate hot chocolate, and then I discovered that you can make hot chocolate that isn't just loaded with sugar. This mirrors the glorious moment when I discovered that dark chocolate exists (after having only been exposed to milk and white). I guess I wouldn't mind having a few marshmallows in it. Marshmallows just have a fun vibe. 19 - What caused your last injury? >> I don't even know, man. My body just be mad at me sometimes.

20 - How many tattoos and piercings do you have? Do any of them have an interesting story behind them? >> I have three tattoos... I just remembered that I had a dream recently that I had four tattoos and I had somehow been completely forgetting about one of them for years. Wild. Anyway, that is not the reality, I do in fact only have three tattoos, and I have one piercing aside from my earlobes. The most interesting things about my body modifications are that the tattoo on my hand was done by my completely inexperienced friend with a tattooing kit from off the Internet and frankly it looks surprisingly not terrible for a kitchen tattoo done by a complete beginner (like you can tell it was if you know how tattoos should look, but it's nowhere near as bad as some I've seen), and my wrist tattoo is technically two different tattoos but they form one design so it counts as one to me (the first part was my very first tattoo done at a place in the Bronx for 30 bucks, and the second part was done by a legit tattoo artist in New Orleans a few years later). (Hunh, I never thought about how my wrist tattoo, which is a symbolic representation of me, is a collaboration between the two socioeconomic worlds I've known and the two cities I've loved best -- which is also a way to symbolically represent me. That's so neat.)

21 - What kind of flowers do you like the best? When was the last time someone bought those for you? >> Sunflowers. I don't remember but Sparrow and their mother have both bought sunflowers for me on different occasions. 22 - What’s the smallest thing you’ve ended a relationship over? .

23 - Would you rather order a starter (appetiser) or a dessert? Or would you be able to manage a full three courses? >> Like, would I rather have an appetiser or a dessert with my meal (as opposed to just ordering an app or just ordering a dessert, no entree or anything else)? I'd rather have an app. I have never been able to manage three courses. Sometimes I don't even make it past an appetiser, lol.

24 - How do you get most of your news, if you pay attention to it at all? . 25 - Have you or a member of your family been diagnosed with COVID yet? >> I have never gotten it. Sparrow did, though, on the Disney trip. We were there for a few days and it so happened that on one of those days they dropped the mask mandate, which was just incredible timing.

26 - Are you a vegetarian? If so, what persuaded you to stop eating meat? If not, is it something you’d ever consider? >> I am not a vegetarian but I could easily be mistaken for one. I have no interest in placing arbitrary dietary restrictions on myself, but I just happen to prefer a carb- and veggie-forward diet as opposed to the more customary (in this area, anyway) meat-forward one.

27 - Do you prefer rice or pasta? >> Rice.

28 - Is anything you’re wearing a gift? Who bought it for you? >> The only thing I'm wearing actually is a gift, yeah. Sparrow's mother got us both fuzzy bathrobes for Christmas. 29 - What’s the dominant colour in the room you’re in at the moment? >> I mean, the walls are white, or off-white or whatever it is, so I guess that makes it the dominant colour? Most of my furniture is black, but that doesn't dominate the room like the walls do.

30 - Did you do laundry yet today? If not, do you need to do any before you go to bed? >> I did the washcloths and towels, but I didn't have enough dirty clothes to bother with a clothes load. I barely went anywhere this past week so I haven't been wearing much of anything.

[iantimony]

2024 year in review - roundup style, plus bonus graphs!

we're so back! doing things in a slightly different order than last year: first, reviewing the 2024 resolutions.

--> get back on a regular workout schedule: swimming 1x a week, weights once or twice a week. would like to try and work towards my One Pullup goal again. would also be cool to try and work towards a hand/headstand. Ha Ha. yeah. no. did not do great with this one. definitely did a non-zero amount of exercise but I probably averaged about 1 gym visit a week, if that. I think I am going to add a "working out" section to next year's weekly roundup, right now I've been posting that on dreamwidth under my 'gains' tag but I think slapping it in the weekly roundup will help a lot. I've been doing a lot more yoga than normal in December so I would like to keep that going in the new year - I paid for down dog last summer and have actually used it which is good, and I'm doing their 'every day January' challenge thingy so that should be a good place to start. realistically after January I will not do yoga Every Day but I bet I can make it happen 2x a week. more on that in the 2025 resolutions section.

--> try and be more mindful. i'm going to continue the grief therapy but also think about meditating more, doing more yoga, and so on. I got ghosted by my grief therapist at the end of January lol <3 and was quite bad about meditating and journaling especially this year - in 2023 I was really good about regularly journaling and I think it was really good for me but that fell off almost entirely this year.

--> there's a gallery on main street that solicits work from local artists for bimonthy themed exhibitions and i really want to submit at least one thing to it this year! the one due by end of january is themed 'florals', and the one two months after that is 'layers', so i'd really like to submit something to one of those. weeps cries throws up. I didn't even submit to the artists' choice show for December. I should have though - I peeked in the gallery and based on the caliber of work. I absolutely would have made it in. Oh well.

--> more weird art! use that big canvas i bought in literally 2022! paint!!! did essentially Zero painting this year besides some watercolor in a travel journal, Ha Ha. did not do anything particularly weird or fun.

--> finally put together that travel journal from korea & japan (and also scrapbook-ify the papers i have leftover in a pile from that) also did not do this :'D I DID work on my travel journal for England somewhat though.

--> also, maybe do current scrapbook a little different? might need a new binder at the very least. kind of! I did portion off the current binder into just 2021-2022, I have separate 2023 and 24 events in chronological binder sleeves but now that those years are done I think it would be cool to do them in a more traditional book format.

--> hang up that expensive quilt i bought in august IT IS STILL IN A PLASTIC BAG IN MY CLOSET …. however, I DID move into my own place this summer, and my boyfriend is going to help me hang it up in January when he's visiting after the holidays, so. it wasn't done but it's imminent.

--> speaking of quilt: do some hand quilting, english paper piercing! i have so much fucking fabric! did do some of this! have not finished that exact project but I did do some of it! I also have done a lot of Thinking about fabric projects which I know doesn't count but it has been marinating is all I'm saying.

--> find a new apartment to move into that hopefully won't suck! completed! only sucked a little bit to do, and the actual apartment itself is good, if a little dire in terms of insulation!

--> try to secure some sort of summer internship or project that will let me develop some new skillsets that i might not be getting with my current research this failed for last summer but I learned a lot from the process and am very optimistic about this coming summer.

--> finish the masters degree did do this!

--> write…a paper? for the work i just presented??? did not do this! it's complicated! big pain in the ass!

--> keep tweaking neocities and make some more pages basically didn't touch neocities at all this year.

--> keep track of recipes this year as well in my making section this was a success!

i might start a little spreadsheet this year to keep better track of all my stuff because i really did Not want to go through all my separate listening and reading sections and extract what i liked the most, etc. this post required me to first back up a few extra early tuesdayposts from this year to dreamwidth, and then skim all of them to accumulate the above, and that was kinda a pain. and i love an excuse to start a new spreadsheet. I did not actually MAKE the spreadsheet til December but fucking whatever I did do it. and it was great.

of those roughly 15 notes, if I am very generous in what I count as a success, I accomplished about 7 of them! about a 50% success rate implies to me that I was a little too ambitious. this was a 2023 not 2024 resolution but I did partake in bandcamp Friday this year also so that's fun!

now. THE DATA. there is a part of me that really, really wants to whip out some old bokeh macros to sexy-ify this data. that could be fun to host on neocities and/or my real-name website as an example of my data viz prowess. but for now, google sheets plots will suffice. they are not very accessible (color blindness, etc) unfortunately.

behold! a bar chart! this data isn't necessarily 100% correct or perfect, some of these numbers are deffo estimates.

listening: saw more live music this year for sure - saw Haken, St. Vincent, ELO, and Sammy Rae live and they all slapped. lots of podcasts, even more music. April doing some heavy lifting there due to the spotify algorithm playlists, especially the release radar but also other miscellaneous generated playlists.

my bigass 2024 playlist!

reading: I THINK I read significantly less AO3 this year but I read a lot of other articles and a few books! notables were Bunny (bad) and The Left Hand Of Darkness (good) (which I think mirrors last year, which was also [modern lit book] bad [ursula le guin] good if I recall right)

watching: more youtube in the second half of the year than the first. something about background noise maybe.

playing: largely dnd with a smattering of video games and magic the gathering.

making: mostly pottery with some fiber art in there.

eating: yay recipes :-) adding this section was a roaring success. considering compiling a 'favs of 2024' pdf to distribute. should be pretty easy to do so stay tuned for that.

misc: finished masters degree! saw the eclipse in April! became a member of my local temple this year! england/scotland trip!

the 2025 goals!

once again: workout routine! setting this at 1 day of cardio, 1 day of yoga/adjacent, and 1 day of weights per week. this feels sustainable. would like to make it through the yoga every day down dog challenge for January.

reintegrate journaling into my day-to-day.

clean up some digital clutter; organize photos and files, empty..my tumblr likes …… [80k posts]

generally move away from perfectionist tendencies (in writing/journaling (feeling compelled to record Everything), painting, etc)

submit to the gallery on main street for real this time

finish the travel journals

learn some quilting

get back into neocities! maybe start crossposting these on there?

read like...10 books this year

pass my prelim exams ;_;

onwards and upwards. good night and good luck. here's to 2025 :-)