#it's July 13. I'm gonna go WILD. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fogwitchoftheevermore · 4 months ago

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hi . what is blaseball. looking it up i cant find anything except that it Ended which is extremely unhelpful . but i'm intrigued by ur au

YAYAYYYYY YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY AUTISM TRAP CARD. whisp i also have an uncompleted beastlife one that i'll offer you here once i'm done explaining.

so! blaseball was (rest in violence) a live play video game that combined aspects of roleplay, fandom, and TTRPGS with text based video games, and it ran from July 2020-June 2023 (specifically starting on july 20th, hence my reblogging of all my au posts today). blaseball was a surrealist horror game based off of america's favorite past time, baseball! in order to play blaseball, you had to make an account on the website and choose one of 24 teams to be a fan of. you then watched as the seasons played out, with one full season taking one real life week.

each season was made up of 99 games plus a postseason of indeterminate length. games were played every hour on the hour, with the regular season playing out monday-friday. the post season had it's wild card rounds on friday afternoon, and then the rest of the post season played out on saturday. sunday had no games, with the entire day being reserved for the election results, which came out at 3 PM EST every sunday.

what is the election? well, this is where the fans come in! throughout the season, you could bet on games (as well as do some other stuff that's not wildly relevant) in order to get coins. you could use these coins to buy votes, and use these votes to change the game in the election. each election had a few things you could vote on (two in the first 11 seasons of the game, and 3 in the last 13. i will only be discussing the first two of them here, as the third isn't super relevant.) the first was decrees, of which there were usually 3-6, and they were new rules that would apply to the entire league. only 1 or 2 would pass every season, based on which got the majority of the league's votes. the second was blessings, which acted as boosts for your team and/or handicaps for your opposing teams. there were usually 10+ blessings available, and they would all (usually) be rewarded to the team that put the most votes into them.

elections are where the surrealist horror comes in. in the first election of blaseball, there was one decree titled "open the forbidden book". it had no description, and fans were repeatedly warned against voting for it. as you may expect, it got 60% of the vote immediately. upon it passing, we were punished for our hubris. the moab dessert became a hellmouth, the world began to fracture, and umpires began to be able to "go rogue" during games played under solar eclipses. when umps go rogue, they straight up kill players by setting them on fire. the best player in the league (at the time) was also instantly killed as further punishment for opening the book. so yeah, that sure is where the horror came in!

there's a lot more that happened after all that, but that's the basic primer. if you want more, i'd really recommend the blaseball roundup, which was a recap show made by the company that made the game, the game band. it covers seasons 1-22, so almost the entire game, and it was made by an in universe character (the anchor), so you get a good grasp on the vibes of the whole thing as well. there are 5 episodes, all under 20 minutes, so it's not too much of a commitment and it's a lot of fun.

a quick primer on how my aus work- each au (the life series, empires, and hermitcraft) are separate universes from each other, all running simultaneously alongside one another. they pretty much just follow the plot of actual blaseball, but with a focus on these new guys instead of that aforementioned plot. some of them do fill in for actual characters, but the majority of them do not, and the ones who do fill in for those actual characters just go through said character's story beats.

now, beast life au! i'm just gonna copy paste all my google doc into this under the cut, as a special treat.

SATURDAY LEAGUE

Dingo: Batter for the Hellmouth Sunbeams. Dingo becomes much more boar when the Hellmouth opens, having been a pretty normal human prior. Had an unhelpful modifier rerolled during the Expansion Era, giving them a Debt. Thus far the only victim has been Bree, but the Debt remains.

Modifications: Debt, Life of the Party

Kiki: Pitcher for the Yellowstone Magic. Has spearheaded many a resurrection, drawing the ire of a lot of the league to the Magic, as players with Debt keep ending up on the team because of him. Sonic and Kiki both picked up the Siphon modifier at the same time, but Kiki makes much less use of it. His only successful saves as a Seeker have been for Fishie. He also picks up the Traitor modifier during Expansion for. Reasons.

Modifications: Siphon, Seeker, Traitor

Sonic: Starts as a pitcher for the Boston Flowers. Very, very good at what she does, partially due to pure skill and partially due to Siphoning a lot of other players. They rocket up the Idol Board as a result of their skill. They spend at least some amount of time Shelled as a result, though she gets pecked out pretty frequently as well. He is taken by the Shelled One to play for the PODS and falls to the Charleston Shoe Thieves after Season 10, Day X, where she has stayed since. At some point in the Expansion Era, Sonic Shelled Null, hence Space’s one sided hatred of them.

Modifications: Siphon, Parasite, Honey Roasted

John: Batter for the Miami Dale.

Modifications: Redacted, Electric, Life of the Party

Fishie: Pitcher for the Baltimore Crabs. Fishie has a penchant for being swept Elsewhere, having had two particularly extensive stints that resulted in her returning with significant memory loss until the Scattered modification wore off. The first time lasted about a season, and the second one got close to it, but both of these stays were cut short by Kiki dragging her back. Unrelated to the above, but due to the carcinization, she has a crab arm.

Modifications: Scattered [sometimes], Life of the Party

Phia: Batter for the Houston Spies. Phia lies low most of the time, managing to avoid the ire and love alike of the fans, which is pretty much entirely to faer benefit. Phia is/was the member of the Spies that Broku is/was closest to post-alternation, as she didn’t know Oku well at all and didn’t have the cognitive dissonance after all that. Pregame ritual is making stew.

Modifications: 0 No (this is technically a Blood Type and not a Modifier, but whatever)

Null: Batter for the New York Millennials.

Modifications: Shelled (that one time), Redacted

Space: Batter for the Hawai’i Fridays.

Modifications: None

Joe: Batter for the LA Unlimited Tacos. Joe was one of the victims of the Wyatt Mason-ing, an event where the universe fragmented and the entire LA Tacos team was turned into the worst player on the team briefly. Don’t worry about it. Joe was one of the players who did not get their full name returned to them, with the last name “Flyaway” being replaced by “Mason”. After the fact, Joe had a relatively normal time as the Tacos deliberately put themselves through God’s silliest hell. Joe became a Receiver (hooked up to the Microphone, which is possessed by the previously mentioned Wyatt Mason, again, don’t worry about it) due to nebulous shenanigans mostly because I thought it’d be funny. Receivers have a lot of weirdness going on that I think suits Joe’s “guy from the real world who got put in here” vibe, just trust me.

Modifications: Receiver

Bree: Batter for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands. Oku and Bree were together before season 4, when Oku was affected by the Alternate Reality decree. Bree originally attempted to maintain a relationship with Broku, which did not work, and Bree took this very poorly. Bree made an attempt to get herself alternated as well, but players have no voting power, and Bree’s stats weren’t enough of a nightmare that it occurred to any Fans to Alternate her. At some point in the Expansion Era, Bree was killed by Dingo, and now makes frequent ghost appearances via Haunting Echidna.

Modifications: None

Oak: Batter for the Hades Tigers.

Modifications:

Oku: Batter for the Houston Spies. Oku and Bree were together until season 4, when Oku was affected by the Alternate Reality decree and Alternated, switching places with Broku. This obviously put significant strain on the relationship, and Broku has become far more involved with/close to the Spies in the wake. Broku also potentially got Redacted? Not sure about that yet.

Modifications: Alternate, Redacted[?]

Echidna: Batter for the Hades Tigers.

Modifications: Haunted

Gery: Batter for the Tokyo Lift.

Modifications:

Moch: Batter for the Seattle Garages.

Modifications:

Mei: Batter for the Mexico City Wild Wings.

Modifications: Redacted, Life of the Party

FRIDAY LEAGUE

Dingo: Pitcher for the Atlantis Georgias, originally a pitcher for the Dallas Steaks

Modifications: None

Kiki: Batter for the Boston Flowers

Modifications: None

Tom: Batter for the Hades Tigers

Modifications: Siphon, Supperyummy

Sonic: Pitcher for Hellmouth Sunbeams

Modifications: None

Eker: Batter for the Kansas City Breath Mints

Modifications: None

Phia: Batter for the Miami Dale

Modifications: None

Viz: Batter for the Houston Spies from their shadows, spent a season on the Canada Moist Talkers but went back

Modifications: None

Jack: Batter for the New York Millennials

Modifications: Haunted

Echidna: Batter for the San Diego Saltines who died in Pre-History and Haunted Jack for a while

Modifications: None

#space rambles #mcyt blaseball au #beastlife

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dirtbag-linecook-kyloren · 1 year ago

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10 characters/10 fandoms

YESSS THANK YOU @jaynesilver FINALLY MY WIDE READING OF FIC COMES IN HANDYYY

We're gonna go chronologically through my life because I think that's REALLY FUN (I legit couldn't choose a west wing character just know that if there's a secret 11th character is the ensemble cast of the west wing)

Artemis Fowl, Artemis Fowl

My first antihero, and we started YOUNG on that, I was reading these books premiddle school. I was obsessed with these books as a kid, and I'm still obsessed with them today. There's rumors of a third, more adult series when Artemis and Holly may get together and I will EAT THAT SHIT UP I LOVE THEM

2. Vexen, Kingdom Hearts

I Legit think this man primed me to enjoy Hux as a character. Like, I'm not kidding, I was obsessed with him as a kid. I'm 90% certain I wrote deviant art fan fic, but I have since abandoned that account so it's hard to know for sure if it ever got published. I was definitely roll playing at age, like, 13? way too young but god I loved him he was BATSHIT

3. Ianto Jones, Torchwood

Man, I can't really explain how much Ianto Jones as a character, he and Jack's kiss on screen, their relationship, and the events of the 456 changed me? It was DEEP though, I woke up the next day a different person, with much less trust in television writer's and their good intentions.

4. Desmond Miles, Assassin's Creed

We have to jump a few years to mid high school, because no joke I was on that Kingdom Hearts train for a WHILE. I love him, he was probably my first blorbo, before the term was invented. I tried to play the games after (MAJOR SPOILER) but I just couldn't do it. They didn't have the draw without him.

5. Stiles Stilinski, Teen Wolf

Now we've hit late high school, arguably my second blorbo. As a kid with ADHD, he was no joke valuable representation to me, even if it was sometimes played for laughs. I was also the least athletic kid on multiple sports teams who still tried really hard, so I got him, yknow?

6. Will Graham, Hannibal

It's legit tough for me to chose if I like the Will Graham of the books or the TV show better. (Don't ask me about the movies, I haven't seen them, and I probably won't. Movies and I have trouble. See: ADHD.) I'm not sure if he's a blorbo or just like, a regular character I like? My hannibal phase was my last 8 year ship, so the line is pretty blurred.

Now we've reached the part where I dived into a lot of fandoms at once, because I dropped out of college and kind of did a weird spiral? Idk, we've lost chronology is what I'm saying

7. Artemis Crock, Young Justice

god I cannot say enough good things about her and I also cannot express how much (MAJOR SPOILER) made me mad FOR HER. Like it was cruel specifically to her and we should talk more about that, honestly. She was definitely a blorbo, but we're still PRE blorbo as a word in my vocabulary.

8. Darcy Lewis, MCU

My first real fandom bicycle, I ship her with everyone from Loki to Agent Coulson to Natasha. As someone who often feels like the comic relief character in their own life, I appreciate her.

9. Kent Parson, OMG Check Please

My sweet, sweet disaster son. My emotionally constipated hockey boy. The reason captain america is my SECOND favorite character with a birthday on the Fourth of July. I love him, he was amazing, and also my first experience with like, really toxic fandom was being so mad when people tried to equate his canon mental health issues with a noncanon, imagined abuse?? It was wild, I ended up so distressed about it i did have to leave the fandom.

10. Armitage Hux, Star Wars

I mean you've been on my blog for like ten seconds i think it's obvious?? The others needed explanations but like YOURE HERE YOU KNOW

WAIT I FORGOT TO TAG PEOPLE SHIT @sariastrategos @gingersnappish @fallingdeeperintothispit

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purpleplaid17 · 4 months ago

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Jess Watches // Sat 13 July // Day 289 Synopses & Favourite Scenes & Poll

Sweet Tooth 3x06 Here, There Be Monsters

After a daring rescue, Gus meets an individual well-versed in hybrid history. Amid emotional reunions and eerie revelations, all roads lead to the cave.

"Look, I know none of you want to hear from me right now. But I know what you're all going through. Trust me. When the world goes to shit, it seems like the only option left is to turn inward and fight for yourself.

That's how I used to operate. That's what I thought I had to do to survive. But then, I met this scrawny little hybrid kid who had to grow up way too fast.

He'd seen the worst in humanity. He has every reason to hate us. But the crazy thing is, not only does he see the best in us, but he expects the best in us.

Sweet Tooth showed me that we don't have to live in a world where we fight for ourselves. He showed me we can live in a world where we fight for each other.

Now, if we work together, then maybe, just maybe, we can still have a home. [stirring, dramatic music playing] So, what's it gonna be?"

Well, shit. I'm in.

My Lady Jane (with L) 1x02 Wild Thing

Jane's learns her new husband' Guildford turns into a horse daily's secret. Queen Mary and Seymour conspire to kill King Edward.

"A horse for a husband. A fucking horse for a husband. And a lying horse-husband at that."

The Legend of Korra (rw with L) 2x09 The Guide

Korra seeks Tenzin's help to enter the Spirit World for the first time.

"[Holding a blue dragonfly bunny spirit, chuckling.] Oh, you are just so cute. I'm going to name you Bum-Ju. It's short for "Bumi Junior".

[Places the spirit beside him, to Tenzin.] Don't you think he looks like me? [Without looking back.] The resemblance is uncanny. "

#sweet tooth #my lady jane #the legend of korra #polls #tumblr polls #jess watches #day 289 #the shower scene on glue showed peen js #i also watched about 30mins of poolman but just could not get into it #is it worth persevering?

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kylesvariouslistsandstuff · 6 months ago

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When updating the animated movie schedule that I have on hand, I noticed something...

We have some mixed-media games of chicken coming. Family movie battles that may or may not happen, on the heels of the recent release date switch-ups for TRANSFORMERS ONE and THE WILD ROBOT:

The first one... Possibly... MOANA 2 vs. WICKED PART ONE - November 27, 2024. Disney and Universal head to head with musicals, one all-animated, one live-action with lots of animation in it. I say possibly, as I'm not sure what audience WICKED PART ONE is aiming for. Is this gonna be a PG-rated family film? Or an edgier PG-13 affair? I know next to nothing about the musical (apparently it's recommended as an 8+ sorta deal?), but these are both very similar in a few regards: Musical, fantasy, and because the latter is associated with the family classic THE WIZARD OF OZ - WIZARD OF OZ wouldn't have happened if not for the influence and success of Walt Disney's SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS. I still think it's worth including. I can see both doing very, very well because of how beloved the original MOANA is, and because WICKED is a big deal and OZ is always a classic. MOANA 2 came out of nowhere as a former Disney+ series-turned-movie, so that makes the face-off all the more interesting to me.

Then there's MUFASA: THE LION KING vs. SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 3. December 20th of this year. Disney vs. Paramount. An all-animated movie that looks very real vs. a live-action movie with animated characters in it. MUFASA has a trailer out, which makes sense given that it was originally supposed to come out in July, so it was probably finished or close to being done a while ago. SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 3 entered production after that, and will still make its date apparently, with no trailer out.

MUFASA is a prequel/sequel to a 5-year-old LION KING remake that grossed $1.6 billion worldwide, making it the highest-grossing animated film of all-time. That being said, whenever Disney does a follow-up to one of their modern remakes... It usually doesn't do anywhere *near* as well as the first... See ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS and MALEFICENT 2 as evidence of that. Both SONIC movies combined didn't make half of what LION KING '19 made, but still did very very well for what they are. SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 2 made $405m, so I can imagine the third movie making significantly more than that. Especially since they're bringing in even more characters that fans know and love. Perhaps the family movie event of the holidays outside of MOANA 2. I don't really know who's exactly all that thrilled for MUFASA, but maybe I'll be wrong on that one. Maybe that'll be the movie to go to if the other two are sold out.

Another family movie battle is set to commence next summer. On June 13, 2025...

Pixar's delayed animated sci-fi adventure ELIO vs. Universal's live-action adaptation of HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON.

Both of these movies were delayed from their first-nabbed release dates, ELIO seeing the biggest delay. When it was eyeballing March 1st of this year, ELIO had a trailer and a poster out. Then during the writer and actors' strikes last summer/autumn, Disney delayed the Pixar picture by a year and a half. As rumors indicate, this picture needed to be extensively retooled... Can't do that when the writers and actors voicing the characters are out there fighting for what's right, so it had to wait.

Live-action DRAGON first nabbed March 14, 2025, and then moved to ELIO's date after ELIO took it. It is currently filming in Ireland.

Out of these two movies, I think DRAGON is a guaranteed success. As much as some of us don't like 'em, live-action adaptations of things largely associated with animation tend to do pretty good. Whether it's streaming shows or feature films. Once in a while Disney doesn't score, but when they do... They do. Often to the tune of a billion dollars, or at least half as much as that. Last summer's LITTLE MERMAID may not have made back its budget, but $560m+ is still nothing to scoff at. It's a *flop* in the same way MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - DEAD RECKONING was. Made lots of money and was quite popular, still wasn't enough. Then you wonder why there are strikes, eh? The HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON animated trilogy that was made at DreamWorks is pretty beloved, all of its installments grossing above $490m+ worldwide each. And Dean DeBlois, who directed on each film, directs the live-action movie too. John Powell returns to score, Gerard Butler is back to play Stoick the Vast. The familiarity will help it, but if it's different enough to stand out, that could also really help it. The first movie will also be 15 years old by then, definitely some nostalgia there. I think it'll at least make $150m domestically, if not $200m. From the outside, it looks like a "live-action remake of a DreamWorks animated movie".

Whereas ELIO? I've repeated this ad naseum, but animated movies that aren't sequels or easily-recognizable IP (read: Mario) tend to open low in this day and age. ELEMENTAL, Pixar's first not-sequel picture to open theatrically since ONWARD, collected the lowest opening ever for one of their movies. Luckily, it had legs and audiences overseas really dug it, getting it nearly past the 2.5x-its-budget threshold. I'm sure Disney wants a bona fide return to Pixar blockbusters, original and sequel. Thus they would probably want ELIO to remain a summer launch. Pixar barely ever deviates from a late May/mid June release, with the exceptions of some March and November releases. Typically, they like that June space.

I also noticed... There's a sizable gap in early 2025. There's an animated feature set for late January (DOG MAN), another for February (THE SMURF MOVIE)... And then, nothing till ELIO. March and April, completely blank. No doubt caused by the strikes, maybe more if/when an animation strike erupts this coming summer.

I do wonder if ELIO, since the delay gave it *plenty* of time to be fixed up (I hear it isn't a GOOD DINOSAUR situation where they completely started over, just re-configuring whole parts of it), will be completed ahead of schedule. Disney has an untitled project set for early March, likely a placeholder for something. Could just be a Searchlight or 20th Century movie, maybe ELIO could move there. Live-action SNOW WHITE opens later that month... But that didn't stop Disney from planning on releasing ELIO and SNOW WHITE together this past March. Disney often tends to put things close to each other. For example, MOANA - a Thanksgiving 2016 release - opened between early November release DOCTOR STRANGE and mid-December biggie ROGUE ONE. One example off the top of my head.

But it will all happen when it has to... I do doubt, however, that ELIO will go head to head with HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON '25 though. In addition to that, I still find it kinda weird that Disney Animation will have three sequels in a row when there was at least one original being developed there. Things often change close to release date, too, so... We shall see...

And lastly, I covered it before... This time an all-animated face-off... Warner Animation's CAT IN THE HAT movie vs. an untitled Pixar movie, both set for March 6, 2026. Until we know what the Pixar movie is, likely an original movie, I can't really say. I would reckon the Pixar movie moves, considering that Pixar hasn't landed a March hit yet. Circumstances... ONWARD was released right before the pandemic became a national issue here in the states, TURNING RED went straight to streaming, ELIO could've been this year's March picture but moved to next summer. Maybe March 2026 is when Pixar succeeds with a springtime release. That is, if CAT IN THE HAT ends up moving.

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wildxcardrebel · 2 years ago

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I posted 1,866 times in 2022

That's 584 more posts than 2021!

39 posts created (2%)

1,827 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@badassbarmaid

@smashing-blog

@lily-musings

@a-cageless-canary

@trickyxkisses

I tagged 1,847 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#||want emancipation?|| (queue) - 1,580 posts

#||memementos|| (meme) - 359 posts

#||the fool and the world|| (musings) - 175 posts

#||the white lotus|| (post game) - 123 posts

#badassbarmaid - 108 posts

#acagelesscanary - 33 posts

#||let's make some music together|| (blade x aiko) - 29 posts

#||at poe's masquerade|| (ooc) - 29 posts

#||heartfelt pair of jokers|| (blade x heart) - 27 posts

#trickyxkisses - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 72 characters

#||♢|| he won because he hid somewhere the other kids couldn't get to lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

||♢|| So, I commissioned my artist friend to draw my version of college age Joker, and

I love it so much.

4 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

||♢|| alright I'm gonna finally get to replies later.

also

it's my birthday.

6 notes - Posted July 14, 2022

@trickyxkisses continued from x

Ren turns to look at Akira and smiles warmly at her. “It’s just something I’ve been thinking about. I mean, not that our lives were particularly normal before we met, but two worlds kinda just...melding together... and we are the only ones who really know about it. It’s kinda wild, isn’t it?”

The wholehearted Trickster’s words have strong merit. She’s got a great introspective mind. “It really is a blessing. After all the crap both of us have gone through, to be able to be with you... I’m so lucky.” He gives the ravenette a peck on the cheek, still smiling, his eyes full of love when he pulls back and they meet hers again. “I love you so much, Akira. And I always will.”

9 notes - Posted June 13, 2022

See the full post

10 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

@trickyxkisses continued from x

It was rare for Ren to be this tired, but between his jobs last night, he stayed out way later than usual. Normally, he would’ve had Akira there, but it was urgent, so he had to go it alone. Currently, the ravenet was laying on his side as he slept, clearly exhausted. It would be quite some time before he would even begin to stir, so his wife’s plan of making him breakfast was possible.

“You want us to help you, Mama? But you got mad when I was playing with the stove last time...” Satoru looked down, slightly ashamed of what he had done. His parents rarely got mad at him and his sister. They were usually upset at most, so when she was angry with him, it stood out. That being said, he understood that it was because she was worried about him hurting himself.

14 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #||at poe's masquerade|| (ooc)

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birdmomblogs · 2 years ago

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I posted 2,437 times in 2022

That's 2,437 more posts than 2021!

238 posts created (10%)

2,199 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@birdmomblogs

@luwyv

@that-g3-obsessive

@lozbotwfanart

@gaylactic-fire

I tagged 2,268 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#birdmom reblogs - 1,100 posts (sobbing this is my art reblog tag)

#linked universe - 599 posts

#legend of zelda - 428 posts

#loz - 302 posts

#linkeduniverse - 257 posts

#lu warriors - 220 posts

#botw - 193 posts

#breath of the wild - 178 posts

#lu wind - 156 posts

#lu legend - 141 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#just block the tags because i'm certainly not into the idea of not supporting a friend just because these ships might make someone uncomfy (lmao it was my rant in the tags)

I sent 1 gift in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5 (ew i don't like this post)

I spent more time on this than I should have so I’m just gonna leave it there 💙

343 notes - Posted March 23, 2022

#4 (hell yeah!)

wimdy ✨

[ID: panel redraw of @linked-maze Wind tightly gripping a polearm. he’s squinting, with face all scrunched up as he thinks, “mmg suspisschis…” end ID]

384 notes - Posted October 13, 2022

#3 (of course my most popular art was a meme comic)

@link-up-the-universes Hello! I have returned and have finally finished the comic!!!

Based on this post!

386 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

#2 (okay i actually like this post)

See the full post

528 notes - Posted July 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022 (this is my legacy)

Has this been done before? I just had a vision of it and had to make it right away. I’m probably not the first one but here you go!

sources:

art by the lovely jojo, author and artist for linked universe

background image from and quote based on ATLA episode Boiling Rock Part 1

small shading edits on Legend done by me

793 notes - Posted April 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #birdmom posts

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lokirupaul · 3 years ago

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Lokiru Paul : Jason Sudeikis Is Having One Hell of a Year

Jason Sudeikis Is Having One Hell of a Year

He got famous playing a certain kind of funny guy on SNL, but when Jason Sudeikis invented Ted Lasso, the sensitive soccer coach with the earnest mustache, the actor found a different gear—and a surprise hit. Now, ahead of the show’s second season, Sudeikis discusses his wild ride of a year and how he’s learning to pay closer attention to what the universe is telling him.

BY ZACH BARON, GQ

PHOTOGRAPHY BY HILL & AUBREY

July 13, 2021

Shirt, $188, and tie (worn at waist), $125, by Polo Ralph Lauren. Pants, $255, by Aimé Leon Dore. Watch, $10,200, by Cartier.

On the day that he wrapped shooting on the second season of Ted Lasso, Jason Sudeikis sat in his trailer in West London and drank a beer and exhaled a little, and then he went to the pitch they film on for the show—Nelson Road Stadium, the characters call it—for one last game of football with his cast and crew. There's this thing called the crossbar challenge, which figures briefly in a midseason Ted Lasso episode: You kick a ball and try to hit not the goal but the crossbar above the goal, which is only four or five inches from top to bottom. And so Sudeikis arrived and, because he can't help himself, started trying to hit the crossbar.

Jason Sudeikis covers the August 2021 issue of GQ. To get a copy, subscribe to GQ.

Shirt, $228, by Todd Snyder. Shorts, $480, by Bode. Sneakers, his own. Socks, stylist’s own. Watch, $6,300, by Cartier.

Confidence is a funny thing. Sudeikis has been riffing on it, in one way or another, for his whole professional life—particularly the comedy of unearned confidence, which he is well suited, physically, to convey. Sudeikis is acutely aware of “the vessel that my soul is currently, you know, occupying”—six feet one, good hair, strong jaw. He's a former college point guard. On Saturday Night Live, where most of us saw him for the first time, he had a specialty in playing jocular blowhards and loud, self-impressed white men, a specialty he took to Hollywood, in films like Horrible Bosses and Sleeping With Other People. He became so adept at playing those types of characters, Sudeikis said, that at some point he realized he'd have to make an effort to do something different. “It's up to me to not just play an a-hole in every movie,” he said. In conversation he is digressive, occasionally melancholy, prone to long anecdotes and sometimes even actual parables—closer, in other words, to Ted Lasso, the gentle, philosophical football coach he co-created, than any of the preening jerks he used to be known for. But he can definitely kick a soccer ball pretty good.

So he's up there trying to hit the crossbar, and he's got a crowd of actors and crew members gathering around him now, betting on whether he can hit it. And he's getting the ball in the air, mostly, but not quite on the four-to-five-inch strip of metal he needs to hit, and the stakes are escalating (“I bet he can get it in three.” “I bet he can get it in five”), and after he misses the first five tries, Toheeb Jimoh, the actor who plays Sam Obisanya on the show, says, “I think he can get it in 10.” Then Sudeikis proceeds to miss the next four attempts. But, he told me later, “there was no part of me that was like, ‘I'm not gonna hit one of these. I'm not not gonna hit one of these.’ ”

Like I said, confidence is a funny thing. You have to somehow believe that the worst outcome simply won't happen. Sometimes you have to do that while knowing for a fact that the worst outcome is happening, all the time. “It's a very interesting space to live in, where you're living in the questions and the universe is slipping you answers,” Sudeikis said. “And are you—are any of us—open enough, able enough, curious enough to hear them when they arrive?” This sounds oblique, I guess, but I can attest, after spending some time talking to Sudeikis, that everything is a little oblique for him right now. He had the same pandemic year we all had, and in the middle of that, he had Ted Lasso turn into a massive, unexpected hit, and in the middle of that, his split from his partner and the mother of his two children, Olivia Wilde, became public in a way that from a great distance seemed not entirely dissimilar to something that happens to the character he plays on the show that everyone was suddenly watching. “Personal stuff, professional stuff, I mean, it's all…that Venn diagram for me is very”—here he held up two hands to form one circle—“you know?”

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Anyway, Sudeikis hit the crossbar on the 10th try. “It's a tremendous sound,” he said of that moment when the ball connects with the frame of the goal. He'd done what he knew he would do. Everyone on the pitch was cheering like they'd won something. It was, for lack of a better way of describing it, a very Ted Lasso moment—a small victory, a crooked poster in a locker room that says Believe. “There's a great Michael J. Fox quote,” Sudeikis told me later, trying to explain the particular brand of wary optimism that he carries around with him, and that he ended up making a show about: “ ‘Don't assume the worst thing's going to happen, because on the off chance it does, you'll have lived through it twice.’ So…why not do the inverse?”

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Ted Lasso. Man—what an unlikely story. The character was initially dreamed up to serve a very different purpose. Sudeikis first played him in 2013, in a promo for NBC, which had recently acquired the television rights to the Premier League and was trying to inspire American interest in English football. The promo was the length and shape of an SNL sketch and featured a straightforward conceit: A hayseed football (our football) coach is hired as the football (their football) coach of a beloved English club, to teach a game he neither knows nor understands in a place he neither knows nor understands. The joke was simple and boiled down to the central fact that Ted Lasso was an amiable buffoon in short shorts.

But Sudeikis tries to listen to the universe, even in unlikely circumstances, and for whatever reason the character stuck around in his head. So, in time, Sudeikis developed and pitched a series with the same setup—Ted, in England, far from his family, a stranger in a strange land learning a strange game—that Apple eventually bought. But when we next saw Ted Lasso, he had changed. He wasn't loud or obnoxious anymore; he was simply…human. He was a man in the midst of a divorce who missed his son in America. The new version of Ted Lasso was still funny, but now in an earned kind of way, where the jokes he told and the jokes made at his expense spoke to the quality of the man. He had become an encourager, someone who thrills to the talents and dreams of others. He was still ignorant at times, but now he was curious too.

In fact, this is close to something Ted says, by way of Walt Whitman, in one of the first season's most memorable episodes: Be curious, not judgmental. I will confess I get a little emotional every time I watch the scene in which he says this, which uses a game of darts in a pub as an excuse to both stage a philosophical discussion about how to treat other people and to re-create the climactic moment of every sports movie you've ever seen. It's a somewhat strange experience, being moved to tears by a guy with a bushy cartoon mustache and an arsenal of capital-J jokes (“You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet: I don't want to hear it”), talking about humanity and how we all might get better at it. But that's kind of what the experience of watching the show is. It's about something that almost nothing is about, which is: decency.

In the pilot episode, someone asks Ted if he believes in ghosts, and he says he does, “But more importantly, I think they need to believe in themselves.” That folksy, relentless positivity defines the character and is perhaps one of the reasons Ted Lasso resonated with so many people over the past year. It was late summer, it was fall, it was in the teeth of widespread quarantine and stay-at-home orders. People were inside watching stuff. Here was a guy who confronted hardship, who suffered heartbreak, who couldn't go home. And who, somehow, found his way through all that. Someone not unlike Sudeikis himself.

“If you have the opportunity to hit a rock bottom, however you define that, you can become 412 bones or you can land like an Avenger. I personally have chosen to land like an Avenger.”

Sudeikis likes to say, in homage to his background in competitive sports, that there's no defense in the arts. “The only things you're competing against, I believe, are apathy, cynicism, and ego,” he said. This is a philosophy of Sudeikis's that predates Ted Lasso by many years, though you wouldn't necessarily have known it until recently. He grew up outside Kansas City, in Overland Park, Kansas, a “full jock with thespian tendencies,” as he once described himself. His uncle is George Wendt, who played Norm on Cheers. “He made finding a career in the arts, in acting or whatever, seem plausible,” Sudeikis said. But mostly he was drawn to the camaraderie of athletics. When Sudeikis first tried his hand at professional improv, in the mid-'90s, it was through something called ComedySportz, a national chain with a fake competition angle, teams in sports uniforms, and a referee. Brendan Hunt, who co-created and costars on Ted Lasso, initially met Sudeikis in Chicago, he told me. Sudeikis had traveled the eight hours up from Kansas City to do a show: “Suddenly there's a beat-up Volvo station wagon, like an '83, and this is '97, I think, and these two guys get out, all bleary-eyed, and wearily change into their baseball pants. And one of them was Jason.”

Sudeikis had gone to community college on a basketball scholarship but failed to keep up his grades, and he eventually left school to pursue comedy. For a while, he said, his sincere aspiration was to become a member of the Blue Man Group. He got close. “They flew me out to New York,” he said. “That was August of 2001, right before 9/11. And I got to see myself bald and blue.” (In the end, he wasn't a good enough drummer.) By that time, he was living in Las Vegas with his then partner, Kay Cannon, doing sketch comedy at the newly formed Second City chapter there. “Ego,” Sudeikis told me about this time, “that gets beaten out of you, doing eight shows a week.”

Eventually he was invited to audition for Saturday Night Live. “I didn't want to work on SNL,” Sudeikis said—he'd convinced himself that there were purer and less corporate paths to take. “At a certain point in your comedy journey, you have to look at it as like McDonald's,” he said. “You have to be like: ‘No. Never.’ ” Then he got the call. “It was like having a crush on the prettiest girl at school and being like, ‘She seems like a jerk.’ And it's like, ‘Oh, really? 'Cause she said she liked you.’ ‘She what?!’ ”

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Sudeikis auditioned, of course, and was hired, in 2003—but as a writer: “It was like winning a gold medal in the thing you've never even trained for. You just happen to be good at the triple jump, and you really love the long jump.” He wrote for a couple of seasons, but he was unhappy—Cannon was still in Las Vegas, and Sudeikis missed performing. Finally he went to Lorne Michaels, to ask for a job as a member of the cast. “He had the best line. I go, ‘I had to give up two things I love the most to take this writing job: performing and living with my wife.’ And on a dime, he just goes, ‘Well, if you had to choose one…’ ”

At Saturday Night Live, Sudeikis often channeled the same level of cheerful optimism and forthright morality that he'd later bring to Ted Lasso, but audiences didn't necessarily notice it at the time. One of Sudeikis's most famous and beloved early sketches on SNL as a performer is 2005's “Two A-holes Buying a Christmas Tree”—Kristen Wiig and Sudeikis, chewing gum, oblivious to their surroundings, terrorizing Jack Black at a Christmas tree stand. It's a joke about a very familiar form of contemporary rudeness; it's also a riff on a certain kind of man who speaks for the woman next to him, whether she wants him to or not. And people laughed and moved on to the next bit, but to this day Sudeikis can tell you about all the ideas that were running through his head when he created the sketch with Wiig. “That scene was all about my belief that we were losing touch with manners,” he told me. “And yet it's also about love, because he loves her, and that's why he interprets everything for her—she never talks directly to the person.” But, he said, sighing, “once you start explaining a joke or something like that, it ceases to be funny.”

Sudeikis brought this type of attention and care to the movies he began acting in too, like the workplace comedy Horrible Bosses, even if it was lost on most of those who watched them. “That movie, Horrible Bosses, is riddled with optimism,” he said. “The rhythms of that movie, of what Jason Bateman and Charlie Day and I are doing, are deeply rooted in Ted Lasso too. But people don't want those answers. They want to hear the three of us cut up and joke around.”

So that's what Sudeikis did. He got used to a certain gap between his intention and how it was understood. During his time at SNL, his marriage fell apart. “You're going through something emotionally and personally, or even professionally if that's affecting you personally, and then you're dressed up like George Bush and you're live on television for eight minutes. You feel like a crazy person. You feel absolutely crazy. You're looking at yourself in the mirror and you're just like, ‘Who am I? What is this? Holy hell.’ ”

For a time he became a tabloid fixture. He remembers “navigating my first sort of public relationship, with January Jones, which was like learning by fire. What is the term? Trial by fire.” In a 2010 GQ article, when confronted with a question about rumors that he was dating Jennifer Aniston, he sarcastically responded that she should be so lucky. “And obviously I'm fucking joking, you know?” Sudeikis said. But back then, he treated interviews like improv—Yes, and—and that could create misunderstandings. Asked once on a podcast about what people tended to get wrong about him, Sudeikis responded, “That I was in a fraternity—or maybe that I would be.”

To that point, Hunt told me, “He's much less the assumed fraternity guy than you'd think.” But Hunt said he also understood where the impression came from: “I don't know where he learned it necessarily, whether it was from his parents, or his basketball coaches, but he exudes an easygoing confidence. And it's easy to hang with a guy like that. But some people are also like, ‘Fuck that guy,’ intrinsically.”

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When he won the Golden Globe, Sudeikis gave a dazed speech while wearing a hoodie, sparking glee and speculation about his mental and physical states. “I was neither high nor heartbroken,” he said.

Shortly after Sudeikis and Wilde got together, near the end of his SNL run (he left the show in 2013), Wilde made a joke during a monologue that she read at a cabaret club about the two of them having sex “like Kenyan marathon runners,” and Sudeikis spent years answering questions about the joke. “The frustrating thing about that is that Olivia said that in a performance setting,” Sudeikis said. “It wasn't like she just was saying it glibly in an interview.” He described the experience of growing into celebrity, and confronting other people's misperceptions of him, as a disorienting one. “You're just being tossed into the situation and then trying to figure it out,” he said. The picture of him that was circulating wasn't exactly the one that he had of himself. But he didn't fight it, either. “You come to be thoughtful about it,” he said. “But also try to stay open to it. I don't ever want to be cynical.”

So he tried to stay open. But it wasn't until Ted Lasso that people really saw the side of him that comported with the way he saw himself. Last year, as it became clear that the show was a hit, he found himself answering, over and over, some version of the same question. The question would vary in its specifics, but the gist of it was always: How much do you and this character actually have in common? Sudeikis told me that over time, in response to people wondering about his exact relationship to Ted, he developed a few different evasive explanations. Ted, Sudeikis would say, was a little like Jason Sudeikis, but after two pints on an empty stomach. He was Sudeikis hanging on the side of a buddy's boat. He was Sudeikis, but on mushrooms. Sometimes, in more honest moments, he would say that Ted is the best version of himself. This, after all, is how art works: If it was just you, then it wouldn't really need to be art in the first place. And so Sudeikis learned to separate himself from Ted, to fudge the distance between art and artist.

Except, he said, after a while, every time he tried to wave off Ted, fellow castmates or old friends of his would correct him to say: “No.” They'd say: “No, that is you. That is you. That's not the best version of you.” It's not you on mushrooms, it's not you hanging off a boat, it's just…you. One of Sudeikis's friends, Marcus Mumford, who composed the music for the show, told me, “He is quite like Ted in lots of ways. He has a sort of burning optimism, but also a vulnerability, about him that I really admire.”

Hearing people say this, over and over again, Sudeikis said, “brought me to a very emotional space where, you know, a healthy dose of self-love was allowed to expand through my being and made me…” He trailed off for a moment. “When they're like, ‘No, that is you. That is you. That's not the best version of you.’ That's a very lovely thing to hear. I wish it on everybody who gets the opportunity to be or do anything in life and have someone have the chance to say, ‘Hey, that's you. That's you.’ ”

And if he's being honest, that's the way he feels about it too. “It's the closest thing I have to a tattoo,” Sudeikis said about Ted Lasso. “It's the most personal thing I've ever made.”

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On the first Saturday in June, Sudeikis flew with his children, Otis and Daisy, from London to New York, where he owns a house in Brooklyn. “Brooklyn is home,” he told me simply. While filming the first season of Ted Lasso, he'd had the house renovated—there was black mold to get rid of and other changes to make. “So Olivia and the kids had to rent a lovely apartment in Brooklyn Heights. But it's not home. It's someone else's home.” Saturday was the first time Sudeikis and his children had set foot in their own place in two years. “The kids darted in,” he said. “Last time Daisy was in that house, she slept in a crib. So now she has a new big bed. It was hilarious. I walked up there after like 15 minutes and both rooms were a mess.”

He and Wilde, he said, no longer share the house. They split up, according to Sudeikis, “in November 2020.” The end of their relationship was chronicled in a painful, public way in the tabloids after photos of Wilde holding hands with Harry Styles surfaced in January, setting off a flurry of conflicting timelines and explanations. Sudeikis said that even he didn't have total clarity about the end of the relationship just yet. “I'll have a better understanding of why in a year,” he said, “and an even better one in two, and an even greater one in five, and it'll go from being, you know, a book of my life to becoming a chapter to a paragraph to a line to a word to a doodle.” Right now he was just trying to figure out what he was supposed to take away, about himself, from what had happened. “That's an experience that you either learn from or make excuses about,” he said. “You take some responsibility for it, hold yourself accountable for what you do, but then also endeavor to learn something beyond the obvious from it.”

In the first season of Ted Lasso, the comic premise of the show is revealed to be a tragic one: Ted is in England, far from home, doing something he doesn't know how to do and probably shouldn't be doing at all, in order to give his failing marriage space to survive. When the character's wife and son visit, in the show's fifth episode, his wife tells him, “Every day I wake up hoping that I'll feel the way I felt in the beginning. But maybe that's just what marriage is, right?” It's a wrenching moment that also gives new meaning to the show: Ted Lasso's heart is big, but it can also be broken as violently and as easily as anyone else's. By the end of the season, Lasso is divorced and renegotiating his relationships with his now ex-wife and son.

The first season of Ted Lasso had already been written—had already aired—by the time Sudeikis found himself living some aspects of it in real life. “And yet one has nothing to do with the other,” Sudeikis told me. “That's the crazy thing. Everything that happened in season one was based on everything that happened prior to season one. Like, a lot of it three years prior. You know what I mean? The story's bigger than that, I hope. And anything I've gone through, other people have gone through. That's one of the nice things, right? So it's humbling in that way.”

And in fact, the seeds of Ted's heartbreak, Sudeikis said, went all the way back to a dinner he had with Wilde around 2015, during which she first encouraged him to explore whether Ted Lasso could be more than just a bit on NBC. “It was there, the night at dinner, when Olivia was like, ‘You should do it as a show,’ ” he said. They got to talking about it. Sudeikis asked why Ted Lasso would move in the first place, to coach a team he had no real reason to coach: “ ‘Okay, but why would he take this job? Why would a guy at this age take this job to leave? Maybe he's having marital strife. Maybe things aren't good back home, so he needs space.’ And I just riffed it at dinner in 2015 or whenever, late 2014. But it had to be that way. That's what the show is about.”

I said to Sudeikis that I thought that while it was common for artists to put a lot of their lives into their art, it was less common that they end up living aspects of the art in their lives, after the fact.

“I wonder if that's true,” he replied. “I mean, isn't that just a little bit of what Oprah was telling us for years and years? You know, manifestation? Power of thought? That's The Secret in reverse, you know?”

But…if we're being honest, is that a thing you wanted to manifest?

“No. No. But, again, it isn't that. It wasn't that. And again, that's just me knowing the details of it. Like, that's just me knowing where it comes from, where any of it comes from.”

But he acknowledged it had been a hard year. Not necessarily a bad one, but a hard one. “I think it was really neat,” he said. “I think if you have the opportunity to hit a rock bottom, however you define that, you can become 412 bones or you can land like an Avenger. I personally have chosen to land like an Avenger.”

Is that easier said than done? To land like an Avenger?

“I don't know. It's just how I landed. It doesn't mean when you blast back up you're not going to run into a bunch of shit and have to, you know, fight things to get back to the heights that you were at, but I'd take that over 412 bones anytime.”

He paused, then continued: “But there is power in creating 412 bones! Because we all know that a bone, up to a certain age, when it heals, it heals stronger. So, I mean, it's not to knock anybody that doesn't land like an Avenger. Because there's strength in that too.”

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In February, Sudeikis attended the Golden Globes, which were being held remotely on Zoom. He had his misgivings about the event—the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which votes on the awards, had been in the news for a series of unflattering revelations about its organization, and also the show was taking place in the middle of the night in London. Tom Ford had sent over a suit for Sudeikis to wear, and he tried it on, in his flat in Notting Hill, but he felt ridiculous, there in the middle of the night, and so changed out of it and into a tie-dyed hoodie made by his sister's clothing company. “I wore that hoodie because I didn't wanna fucking wear the fucking top half of a Tom Ford suit,” he said. “I love Tom Ford suits. But it felt weird as shit.”

“With kids, knowing is half the battle. But adulthood is doing something about it. ‘I'm bad with names.’ ‘I'm always late.’… All right, so win the fucking battle by doing something about it!”

The rest of this story you know: Sudeikis ended up winning best actor for Ted Lasso and gave a dazed acceptance speech while wearing the hoodie, and this in turn sparked glee and speculation about his mental and physical states. For the record, “I was neither high nor heartbroken,” Sudeikis said. It was just late at night and he didn't want to wear a suit. “So yeah, off it came and it was like, ‘This is how I feel. I believe in moving forward.’ ”

Lately, Sudeikis told me, he had been trying to pay more attention to how he actually felt about any given thing, to all the various signs and omens that present themselves to a person during the course of living their life. Even in his past, he said, there were moments that were obvious in retrospect, in terms of what the universe was trying to tell him, messages he missed entirely at the time. In Vegas, where he was living with Cannon before Saturday Night Live, he developed alopecia and his hair stopped growing, and he didn't know why. And then, at the end of his 30s, “during the nine months before Otis was born and the nine months after he was born,” Sudeikis developed extremely painful sciatica. “I went and got an MRI and was like, ‘Oh, yeah, the jelly doughnut in my L4, L5, is squirting out and touching a nerve.’ ” But why? When he had his second child, this didn't happen at all. So: why?

“I mean, since last November,” Sudeikis said, “the joke that feels more like a parable to me is a guy is sitting at home watching TV and the news breaks in to say flash flood warning. About an hour later he goes outside on his porch and he sees that the whole street is flooded.” You've probably heard the rest of this joke before: While the guy is praying to God for some kind of help, a truck, a boat, and a chopper come by, offering aid, which the guy turns down. God'll provide, he says. Sudeikis finished the joke: “Two hours after that, he's in heaven. He's dead. He says, ‘God, what's up, man? You didn't help me.’ God goes, ‘What do you mean, man? I sent you a pickup truck, I sent you a speedboat, I sent you a helicopter.’ ” So, Sudeikis said, “you can't tell me that hair falling out of my head wasn't—I don't know if it was the speedboat or the pickup truck or the helicopter, but yeah, man, it all comes home to roost. What you resist persists.”

He went on. “That's why I had sciatica,” he said. “That's the speedboat. That was like: ‘Hey, you gotta take a look at your stuff.’ ”

And this is another way that Sudeikis and Ted Lasso are alike, because both are always learning and relearning this lesson, which is: Be curious. Both are philosophical men whose philosophies basically boil down to trying to live as decent a life as is possible. Not just for the sake of it but because to be curious—to find out something new about yourself or someone else—is to be empowered. “I don't know if you remember G.I. Joe growing up,” Sudeikis said, “but they would always end it with a little saying: ‘Oh, now I know.’ ‘Don't put a fork in the outlet.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Because you could get hurt.’ ‘Oh, now I know.’ And then somebody would say, ‘And knowing is half the battle.’ And I agree with that—with kids, knowing is half the battle. But adulthood is doing something about it. That's the other half. ‘I'm bad with names.’ ‘I'm always late.’ Oh! Well, knowing is half the battle. All right, so win the fucking battle by doing something about it! Get better at names. Show up five minutes early, make it a point to do it. So, I'm still learning these things. But hopefully I've got plenty of time to do something about it.”

Sudeikis smiled a little wearily: “I mean, at the end of that joke, the guy still got to go to heaven, you know?”

Zach Baron is GQ's senior staff writer.

A version of this story originally appeared in the August 2021 issue with the title "Jason Sudeikis Paints His Masterpiece."

PRODUCTION CREDITS:

Photographs by Hill & Aubrey

Styled by Michael Darlington

Grooming by Nicky Austin

Tailoring by Nafisa Tosh

Set design by Hella Keck

Produced by Ragi Dholakia Productions

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