#it's 3 am why am i doing this to myself right now
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rootspiral · 1 day ago
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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 4 part 7
(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])
(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7])
THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE 4 ENTRY I SWEAR
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agatha: why yes I'm listening politely because I'm being sociable, not because this story concerns me in any way shape or form
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she did NOT want TO DO IT AGATHA. HE WAS HER SON TOO AGATHA. did you ever give her a chance to SAY any of THAT. damn rio is (metaphorically) fighting for her life here. waiting centuries to catch her wife with her guard down next to a random fire, and then reworking her LONG PLANNED SPEECH into bite sized easily digestible bits so that her emotionally stunted soulmate doesn't run away screaming
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I was doing MY DAMN FUCKING JOB agatha
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agatha looks away like whooops! wasn't listening! wasn't looking at you! no sir, not me!
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that's right. acknowledge her feelings. show her that you understand but that you're hurting too. be mature. you're doing great. god the way she swallows and stares right ahead, so determined. this is such a crucial moment for her.
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agatha: i'm stone cold. I'm a wall. this is not affecting me in the slightest. I'm bored, really.
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lilia not missing a word of what rio's saying
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lmao the neutral pronoun lasted two seconds. she's not even trying to pretend like she isn't talking about agatha. and the way she nods to herself like yes, I did the best I could with this. so, there.
"she is my scar" is going to the sapphic annals, isn't it?
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LMAOOOO the unblinking cat stare. rio is like I WAS TALKING TO YOU DUM-DUM. I KNOW IT, YOU KNOW IT, EVERYONE AROUND THIS GODDAMN FIRE KNOWS IT. CAN YOU PLEASE PLEASE FUCKING TALK TO ME PLEASE DEAR GOD
and agatha doing a teeny tiny side glance and going whoooooooops not looking! I'm NOT looking! I'm not even here! and scrunching her face more and more trying to keep it blank
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AND she's gone. she's so predictable lmaooo. every dang time.
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awkwaaaaaard
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rio with her soft smile again! with the little amused eye roll! never getting mad at agatha's antics. she's like FINE I'll come after you, you BIG BABY. the patience this woman has
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lilia is so scared of rio because somehow, through her exceptional Seer abilities, she knew instinctively that this is her mortal foe. but something funny has just happened: here in front of her there's just a regular little guy, a bit odd maybe, doing her little thing, trying to talk to her ex. might it be... might it be that death isn't a monster, that it's just a thing, a strange but natural thing that happens to everybody? lilia cannot accept that quite yet. so she grabs rio and says no, no. I've seen what you are. you're scary, you're evil, you're dangerous. this is lilia's survival instincts kicking in. we are simply wired to fear death, that's just how humans are. it takes an exceptional mind and soul to see past that.
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oh god, here we go, here we go. deep breaths (I'm telling this to myself tbh. i need the pep talk)
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stroking her hair so gently. soft, tentative.
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hey, subtitle people??? what the fuck??
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rio just stands and stares. lets agatha decide what comes next, goes at her pace always
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the haiR CARESSING
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the HUG. the BIG SIGH. this bitch was running away screaming from rio just yesterday. and here she is. her love. her partner. she finally acknowledges rio's pain and all that they lost and all that they were (and still are tbh) to each other. THIS is what rio was looking for. she's not flirting to manipulate and deflect now, she's not being somebody else. this is agatha cracked open and bleeding love and sorrow
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and they melt into each other, and they're rocking each other back and forth, with all their pain and tenderness and longing
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agatha with her face buried in rio's shoulder. I'm unwell
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and then agatha gently pushes rio back and strokes her hair and cradles her face like she did so many times before and leans in and here I am giving you a play-by-play and running a commentary like a totally normal and sane person would
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you know what makes for a perfect onscreen kiss imo? no it's not tongue, although these two will give us plenty of that too. it's the TREMBLING. THE HESITATION. THE YEARNING.
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rio and her superhuman willpower. couldn't be me.
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and and and and and agatha looks at her puzzled for a second and doesn't register what's happening and dives for a kiss again she's so far gone. the feral animal noises I'm making you have no idea
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THE ICY SHOWER
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THE STEP BACK. THE MOST PAINED SMILE
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THE REGRET
I think one big reason why agatha is always so calculated is because she's afraid her instincts will take over. she does something big and spectacular and stupid and then calls it a 'calculated risk' when it was actually a rush of fear, desire, sorrow, anger that she couldn't control. tonight rio has managed to poke a little hole into a carefully constructed dam, and now all the water is rushing out and tearing down the walls. agatha has rio in her arms and her shape, her scent, her skin are so nostalgic and familiar. her brain goes on autopilot, she's been lonely for so long, she is FAMISHED for love and connection and sex and acceptance. rio wanted her to open up, but agatha doesn't do half-measures. rio wanted her to give for a change, but agatha can only ever take.
rio HAS to put a stop to it. she puts logic before heart, one of them has to and you know agatha isn't gonna. more than anything rio wants to take this one perfect moment and run away with it, but instead she tears herself away and asks, what happens next? what happens if I have to take billy away from you? that reanimated corpse, that freak of nature who walked into your life only yesterday and took over?
billy is now part of the equation and rio cannot ignore it. she has been so gentle and careful with agatha, easing her into a reconciliation that is now in jeopardy because here comes billy maximoff like a sword of damocles! what happens if agatha takes her back only for rio to break her heart all over again? there would be no coming back from that. rio cannot help being the grim reaper just as much as agatha cannot help being a succubus, and she is almost at her breaking point here. because she is hurting too! she is sick of having to be the mature one! she's sick of always coming in second after all of agatha's issues! turns out there's a limit even to the heartbreak an impossibly old and wise being can take.
(and now I need a smoke and a future episode that is just 30 minutes of hot but soft cuddles and kisses and sweet nothings. please.)
once again a big shoutout and thank you to all the people reaching out and leaving comments, it's incredible to hear from you all @crybabyheathen @onceuponalegendbg @idkbroletssee @psychicsolanum @73chn1c0l0rr3v3l @a-tad-bit-obsessed @a-rusty-bucket-of-woes @miacheezytoon @isagrimorie @april-december @aquaaquila and I'm probably forgetting someone but I see you all and I appreciate you so much!
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katiascraft · 11 hours ago
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“26” | CL16 ᡣ𐭩.ᐟ
Parings: charles leclerc x ex!singer!reader
Summary: the world didn’t know you and Charles broke up a few months ago. it was until you haven’t been to any gp people started speculating. he finds some one new. Makes his dream com true. And you write an album about him reveling how you broke up and why.
“If it doesn’t go away by the time I’m 30 then I made a mistake and I’ll tell you I’m sorry”
Now playing: “21” by Gracie Abrams.
warnings: smau and that’s it tbh :)
author’s note: idk if this makes sense but I hope it does lol. Don’t forget to like, comment or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)
MASTERLIST
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── .✦
yourusername made a post
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liked by yourbff, taylorswift, shawnmendes, and 1,345,789 others
yourusername: guess it’s just me, myself and music 🐰 (new tunes coming soon)
view more comments
user89: queeennnn can’t wait!!!
charlesmylove: why isn’t charles liking y/n stuff anymore 😭
↳ user976: RIGHT that’s what I’ve noticed
↳ user435: girl don’t start being delusional prob Charles doesn’t use social media
↳ user21: I have the feeling they broke up
sabrinacarpenter: they are not ready for what’s coming 🤓
↳ yourusername: 🤫
shawnmendes: gonna be album of the year
lilyhme: prettiest girl in town now can be mine 💍
↳ yourusername: yours forever my love 💍
↳ charlesstan: WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOW WHAT
↳ user0923: guess she knows things we don’t
↳ y/nxtaylor: spill the tea sis 😭
↳ alexalbon: why you always wanna date your friends???
↳ lilymhe: they’re pretty
↳ alexalbon: and I’m not??? I AM YOUR BOYFRIEND
↳ georgerussel: love watching drama 🍿
↳ y/nstan: WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!
── .✦
#charles and #y/n are trending on twitter
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── .✦
f1gossipofficial made a post
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liked by user57, user1, y/nstan, charlesiloveu and others.
f1gossipofficial: rumors has it that our fave couple on the grid isn’t couple anymore! 💔 Ferrari driver Charles Leclerc was seen out and about with a mistery girl. The source confirmed it wasn’t y/n. Y/n was seen arriving to New York last Monday. The fan that met her told us she said in a conversation she’s been living there since last year! Guess they broken up late last year and kept it a secret! What do we thing about all of this????
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user34: WHAT THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE THEY LOOKED LIKE END GAME 😭😭😭
charlesstan: I’m dead
user975: tbh I didn’t like her for him
y/nstan: I liked Charles sm this is so sad
user0863: now I need y/n new music I NEED TO KNOW
user87: new music coming >>>> new break up song about Charles 😭
usrr12: who is that mistery girl? We need a further investigation
↳ f1gossipofficial: on it baby 🕵️
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yourusername uploaded a story
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charlesleclerc uploaded a story
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charlesleclerc made a post
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liked by user572, yourusername, carlossainz55 and others.
charlesleclerc: WE FINALLY MADE IT! I won my home gp for the first time, wow! Thank you everyone, ferrari, the fans. Everyone. This was my dream and I can’t believe this is actually reality. So thrilled! This is for you dad, wish you were here to see it. Let’s celebrate and then focus on the next race! 💪🏻
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user86: he is so proud of you I promise 😭😭😭
charstan: congrats prince!! ✨
y/nstan: why is my woman on the likes ????
↳ user32: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT FIRST INTERACTION IN QLMOST A YEAR
carlossainz55: congrats hermano !!!!
landonorris: what a race mate!
lewishamilton: finally!! 👑
user678: so happy for you charlieeeee
arthurleclerc: ❤️❤️❤️
── .✦
you text your producer and best friend
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── .✦
yourusername made a post
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liked by user679, yourbff, sabrinacarpenter, charlesleclerc and 1,432,568 others
yourusername: here to finally tell you that my first single “26” for my next album is out!!! Made this album from the deep end of my heart. Hope you like it as much as I love it (and help me get through). link in bio 🧸
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yourbff: the most beautiful and saddest song I’ve ever heard 😭
lilymhe: GIRL I’m sobbing wtf
user256: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
User998: she really said let’s spill the tea
↳ user895: but i never thought it would be LIKE THIS 😭
landonorris: congrats @/yourusername !! On repeat for the rest of the month at least
↳ georgerussel: babygirl
georgerussel: thanks for the tea y/n! Beautiful song from a beautiful soul ❤️ we miss you
↳ yourusername: I miss you too 💔
↳ carlossainz55: wish you could come back some time again :(
shawnmendes: I cried I sobbed I screamed I died
sabrinacarpenter: the best artist of all time iloveu bestie ❤️‍🩹
User673: CHARLES LIKED 😭😭😭😭
── .✦
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── .✦ FIN
Hope you liked it guys 💌 if you have any ideas my inbox is open so send your requests!
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thatguyisdrowning · 1 day ago
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thoughts on arcane season 2
spoilers below
season 2 was definitely giving "trying to wrap up an insanely large cast of characters stories in only 9 episodes" and none of them were really given the care they deserved. it all happened so fast that it was a little confusing at first.
the entire isha thing feels so manufactured. she just appears, "fixes" jinx, then dies/is implied to have died but we don't actually know for certain because we never see her death. and then there's the entire lack of any proper mention of her in act 3. where did she come from? where did she go? where did she come from cotton eye joe? why did warwick survive but not isha if he was the one to actually get shot?
jinx also seemed to mellow out far too quickly, i think if we had a third season and it was spread out more it would feel more authentic. i was expecting her to lose it again in the aftermath of isha's death but she didn't. yes, grief to the point of not caring about herself anymore and just wanting to get vi (the only person she has left) to safety makes sense however it doesn't match up with anything we've seen from jinx in the past. if she'd had a longer time getting to be happy with her family of 4 and healing herself it'd make more sense but she didn't. i think a downward spiral before some sort of realization that she doesn't want to be like this anymore/doesn't want to harm other children like isha/something along those lines would have been more conducive to a well rounded story and conclusion when it comes to the isha/jinx relationship. but for this to happen, we needed more time.
the way jinx's character was written, the way her story played out, it would have made sense for her to take her own life and been a satisfying conclusion. however, because i know she didn't actually die i'm pleased she didn't commit suicide because i like her, her character, her champion, and her story and i want to be able to see more of it all in future projects from riot. and for that to happen the "death" needed to be a little uncertain. the "oh no the metal beam is breaking, guess i better sacrifice myself to save my sister" trope is very overused and hard to do well because of that, but i did like the way they implied jinx was still alive at the end.
jayce and viktor's story was confusing and rushed, while also being the main focal point and the most fleshed out story of the whole show. if viktor knew he and jayce were meant to be together in every timeline, why was he trying to fuck shit up? again, if we had more time in the form of a third season or perhaps longer episodes in season 2, we would have seen their story explored in more depth and had a greater understanding of it.
vi's character was watered down by the inclusion of a single line: "i am the dirt under your nails, cupcake." as something said in passing it wouldn't have held as much weight, but this was one of the last things she said on screen. it essentially boils her character down to nothing but a supporting character for caitlyn when the entire series began and ended with vi and jinx's relationship.
"are you still in this fight, violet?" what fight? against jinx? no, caitlyn seems to have forgiven her and as far as we know vi still thinks she's dead. against noxus? no, mel's in charge (but is she? we see swain make an appearance...) against the undercity? no, they've made peace and sevika is on the council. against singed? no, he's saved his daughter so will live happily ever after now, right? against jayce and viktor? no, they had some weird story conclusion and also died in the astral realm, killing their earthly bodies but realistically they could have survived. i don't want them to have survived, but they could have. all i can think is either she was referring to their relationship OR to their future as enforcers which would make sense in the league lore.
the death of 4 major characters (not including heimer or jinx i'm 100% sure they arent dead) and what it means for the lore and their champions is just??? brushed over??? their champions almost definitely won't be removed but a tiny part of me wishes they would be for continuity and lore reasons.
i wish we were given more insight into what noxus is like now after ambessa's death. mel is seen to be ruling now but in the league lore, swain is the ruler of noxus. it's common knowledge that arcane lore is replacing league lore where necessary/sometimes where it isn't necessary, so it wouldn't make sense but would be easily passed off if we just didn't see any mention of swain, but we do see him (or to be specific, one of his ravens). while i wish we were given some clarity here, i think it was a smart move to not explicity reveal who swain is because to those who know it all but confirms the villian for the next netflix series set in runeterra, but it also leaves the venue open for the story to take an entirely different path, because arcane only fans won't know who he is, and for the league fans it can somehow be passed off as an irrelevant appearance in arcane.
some other points i don't have fully fleshed out thoughts/opinions on:
i would've liked to have seen more of felicia's story
i don't think jayvik should've kissed, the forehead touch was just as, if not more meaningful
the story of singed's daughter wasn't explored as much as it should have been, especially considering it's a huge part of why shimmer was ever created and of the pre-existing league lore
while there are parts of the story i found unsatisfying, i'm totally in love with all of the characters and the artistry. while almost all of the female leads fit perfectly into specific overused tropes, they turned those tropes on their head and executed them well. the women in arcane are attractive but they all have agency. ekko is the best side character ever written. they wrote the "morally grey" characters really well. it's plain to see the writers spent so much time and energy on creating these perfect characters. the artists knocked it out of the park, arcane is the most visually appealing animated show i've ever seen. arcane is a masterpiece in so many ways and i look forward to seeing what's to come :)
if you've read this far, first of all go outside (kidding of course), and second, let me know your thoughts and if you agree/disagree. if you have any theories on what's to come next, let me know!
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oddie-odette · 3 days ago
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SPOILERS(me just yapping about arcane)
I don’t know how to feel about the 2nd season to Arcane. Like I was crying for one second and then the horny mfs did it in what was JINXES JAIL CELL. I was like “WOAHHHHH OKAY-“ I had to pause to cry and then like lock in to something else.
Also I’m glad that Viktor didn’t just die without not knowing what would’ve happened, I’m glad he saw what Jayce saw so he knew what he needed before he went. I am very glad that they died together. It think the idea that they started with them and ended with them was so perfect so good.
Also- Maddie being a little two time bitch- omg. To be fair. She is a victim to manipulation as well but we can’t excuse that. But for Maddie I feel neutral- like yeah I don’t like her but I get it why she is who she is.
Seeing Jinx in the jail cell picking at her fingers till they bled made me realize I was doing it myself. Like I had never seen anyone in my real life and in tv shows go to that extent like I do. And I don’t do it for anxiety or anything, I do because it’s like something I need to pick at with my nails and when I say Jinx do it I was like… “I feel seen?” I mean not really, the situations are drastically different and way worse for Jinx.
Also MY WIFE SEVIKA???? Barely in the show and I know that she becomes counselor and shit but that doesn’t excuse the fact that she was barely there?? I mean yeah she comes for the big fight and it’s really powerful but I can’t help but feel way too neutral about it.
Ekko learning about timelines and loops was probably the only thing I had enjoyed while watching the whole thing go down. Like idk why but the fact that it was just so different was refreshing. I found it interesting and I wanted more of that without like any rushing.
I also felt rushed? Like everything was going all over the place- it was really fast and I can’t tell if I’m just a loser or I’m missing obvious lore that I can’t really get into right now. (That’s how I am with FNAF like I know the lore but idk about any of the books or the extensive lore stuff like my friends- I just don’t think I could get into like that.) I loved arcane. It made me cry, fear, laugh a bit- and we got the scene of sex we wanted. But like after watching it I felt strangely empty about it. Idk but the sex scene felt very inappropriate where it was set and I can’t help but feel that it’s kinda perfect for them. Like it seems like something exactly that Caitlyn and Vi would have but yet I felt really… uncomfortable? And that weird because like that shit don’t happen- I was very happy it was going to happen but maybe not the way that it did.
It’s not a downgrade. It’s a slight upgrade in my book on the terms of content. Don’t come at me but maybe I should give it a second watch when it’s not 3 AM.
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cherry-burst · 7 hours ago
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Rafayel Sexting F!MC
Love & Deepspace
🔞 MDNI... Or else
2:07 AM
Rafayel: Hey cutie, are you still up?
Rafayel: Just 3 more days until my flight. I can't wait to see you again.
MC: I will put a countdown on my phone for when you get back!
Rafayel: You dun already have one? Woooow
MC: Do YOU have one?
Rafayel: Of course. I set it up the second I left.
Rafayel: *Calls MC*
Ringing...
<1 Missed Call>
Rafayel: Are you too busy to talk on the phone? It's already 2 AM and I can't sleep
Rafayel: Hearing your voice would be nice and it would help me fall asleep. You won't leave me hanging, right?
MC: Sorry! I just got back to my apt from a mission and I needed to eat something real quick before I shower.
Rafayel: Ooo, video call me from the shower
MC: Nooooo! It's going to be a QUICK shower. Then I need to sleep. If I vid call you, it wouldn't be a quick shower anymore.
Rafayel: You know me so well.
Rafayel: Fine fine, but I'll leave you with some messages to read for when you get out.
MC: Deal. I'm hopping in now
Rafayel: I can't believe you're naked right now and I don't get to see it.
Rafayel: You know, I went to a pop-up art exhibit and they had a big canvas with paint smeared all over it. It looked random at first glance
Rafayel: The plaque said the artist and his lover covered themselves in hues of pain then made love right there on top of the canvas to make the art piece.
Rafayel: Totally unelated, but I have a new date idea when I'm back home :)
Rafayel: I can only imagine how beautiful the painting would be that we could make together
Rafayel: I wish I was there with you. I miss you
Rafayel: I want to hold you in my arms. I want to kiss your soft lips. I want to watch you blush when I bully you ;)
Rafayel: And don't try to protest. I know you like it. Why else would you be so wet afterwards?
Rafayel: Please call me when you get out of the shower. I need to hear your voice
Rafayel: I can't stop thinking about your taste, you scent, and how your body heats up when I lick you in all the right places.
Rafayel: Fuck, I want to taste your pussy so bad right now. I miss the way you gasp and moan when I push my tongue inside you.
Rafayel: I can't stop from touching myself, sorry. I'll hold off untill your phone call
Rafayel: Please let me kiss you between your thighs
Rafayel: I love how much wetter you get when my tongue is inside you. You seem to like that very much
Rafayel: I can do that all night if you want. I never want to stop
Rafayel: Do you like my tongue that much? You always grab my hair and force me closer. It's so sexy when you do that
Rafayel: Don't worry. I wont stop until you're shaking.
Rafayel: You should be out of the shower by now, cutie.
MC: Yes but, I need another one after reading your texts
Rafayel: You like my words? Want me to keep going?
MC: Yes...
Rafayel: If that's your wish
<Incoming Call From MC>
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jrob64 · 1 day ago
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Exacting His Revenge
- Chapter 3
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I apologize for the long wait for this chapter. To reward you for your patience, I will give you another chapter after this one, for a total of 4. (You would have gotten it anyway because I am apparently just too wordy)
Happy birthday again to @kmomof4 and thank you again to @hookedmom for betaing this story.
Story Summary: When Hook sees an opportunity to finally get his revenge on Rumplestiltskin, he seizes it, putting him in the company of Emma Swan. A season 2 canon divergent story.
Rating: M (for eventual smut in chapter 4)
Words (Ch. 3): 6666
Posted on Tumlr - Chap. 1 Chap. 2 and also on ffn and Ao3
Story found under the cut
*********
As the ship got closer to Storybrooke, Hook noticed Emma frequently glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. When the lights of the town appeared on the horizon, he saw her draw in a deep breath, turn, and walk toward the steps leading to the helm. Slowly climbing them, she looked up and met his gaze.
“Is there something I can help you with, Love?” he asked.
“I was just wondering…what do you plan to do, now that you killed Gold?”
He chuckled lowly. “I’ve been wondering that myself.”
“Technically, you’re still under arrest. Now we’ll have to add escaping from jail to your charges.”
Hook reached up and scratched behind his ear. “Probably another assault charge, too.”
She widened her stance and crossed her arms. “What did you do?”
“I may have knocked your father unconscious with a pry bar.”
Rubbing her forehead in irritation, Emma sighed, “You’re a walking menace, you know that?”
“I couldn’t just sit in that concrete brig, while you were off by yourself with the bloody Dark One.”
Her eyes shot up. “You broke out of jail because you thought you had to save me?”
He dipped his head in a slight nod. “Aye.”
“Why?” she asked, disbelievingly.
“I knew what the crocodile was capable of doing. He would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. Even though he needed you to help him navigate his way to his son, you were disposable once you found him.”
“You think he would have killed me? Knowing I had a son waiting for me back in Storybrooke?”
“He killed Milah knowing she had a son. Why would you be any different?” He watched her mull over her question. When she didn’t say anything else, he asked, “Do you think Baelfire will stay in Storybrooke?”
She shrugged indifferently. “I don’t know.”
“Do you wish for him to stay?”
“I don’t, but if Henry does, I guess I’ll have to accept it. First, I have to figure out a way to tell Henry about him, though.”
“You haven’t told him about his father?”
Her face scrunched into a grimace, something that Hook found to be quite adorable. “I sort of lied to him about Neal. I told him his dad was a firefighter who died saving people from a burning building.”
“Why did you do that?”
“Because I didn’t think there was a chance in hell I would ever see Neal again. And also because I didn’t want my kid to know his father was a lying thief who abandoned me.”
Hook glanced at Bae, still sitting beside his father’s body. He was glowering at them and Hook wondered if he had heard what Emma said, or was simply angry seeing Emma talking to him.
“The lad seems to be quite adaptable. I’m sure once he hears the whole story, he’ll understand.”
“I hope so,” Emma sighed. “The thing is, it’s already complicated enough trying to juggle his time between me and Regina. If Neal is added to the mix, I’ll get to see Henry even less.”
“He does have a right to see the boy, though, doesn’t he?”
“Yeah. It’s not like Neal abandoned him, too. He didn’t know I was pregnant when he took off.”
“You don’t think that the two of you, for the boy’s sake…”
“Not a chance!” Emma snapped. “Look, a lot has changed since Neal and I were together. I’ve matured and I’m assuming he has, too. But the only feelings I have for him are…well, they aren’t anything close to love, let’s put it that way.”
Hook nodded, trying to keep the happiness he felt about her declaration from showing on his face.
“I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this,” she said. “I guess I just needed to blow off some steam, and you happened to be available.”
“I’m very happy to oblige, Swan,” Hook assured her.
Emma shifted her gaze forward and saw they were rapidly approaching Storybrooke. “If you want to sail away once we get Gold’s body off the ship, I won’t stop you,” she said conspiratorially.
“Why, Sheriff, do you intend to set your prisoner free?” he asked, a teasing lilt to his voice.
“I’m just saying that since you don’t have any reason to stay in Storybrooke…”
“Ah, but I do have a reason, Love.”
Emma’s brow furrowed. “You do?”
“You promised to join me for dinner, remember?”
Her mouth dropped open. “Are you telling me you would give up your chance at freedom just to keep our deal?”
“A gentleman keeps his word, and as I told you atop the beanstalk, I’m always a gentleman.”
“You know I’ll have to lock you up as soon as you step foot off this ship.”
“And you know I won’t stay in that cell.”
“Seriously?”
“Pirate,” he said smugly.
“Are you going to dock the ship, Hook, or are you two going to keep making eyes at each other and let it crash into the pier?” Baelfire asked, his tone venomous.
“We don’t make eyes,” Emma said, rolling hers.
“Coulda fooled me,” he grumbled.
Hook began giving directions to the two of them, as he guided the ship into a berth. Emma was quick to follow, but Bae purposely lagged, earning him some sharp words from the captain.
Once the ship was tied off, Emma pulled out her phone. “I’m calling my dad. Hopefully, he can arrange transportation for Gold’s body as quietly as possible. I don’t want Belle to find out about his death until I get a chance to tell her.”
Hook and Bae stood on either side of her as she spoke to her father. When she ended the call, she looked from one to the other. “Are you going with me to talk to Belle?” she asked Neal.
“I thought you were going to take me to meet our son.”
“Not tonight. It’s late and he’ll be in bed.”
“But I…”
Emma angrily planted her hands on her hips. “Neal, if you want to meet him, you’re playing by my rules, got it?”
He stared at her for a few moments before dropping his eyes. “Fine. I’ll come with you to talk to Belle and wait until tomorrow to meet Henry.”
Pivoting to face Hook, she said, “You can stay on your ship tonight. If you’re still here tomorrow, I’ll deal with you then.”
“I look forward to it, Love,” he smirked.
If the look Baelfire gave him could kill, there would have been another body joining Gold’s on the deck.
*********
Hook lay in his bunk, staring at the ceiling of his cabin and replaying the events of the day. It should have been the most satisfying day in his long life. Milah’s murderer was finally dead and the darkness was permanently dispelled. Milah was avenged, her soul could rest. For the first time in hundreds of years, he should be able to sleep peacefully.
Then why was he so restless?
Oddly enough, the stabbing of Rumplestiltskin and his subsequent death weren’t foremost in his thoughts. It was his interactions with Emma Swan - every word, gesture and facial expression - which were keeping him awake. She was under his skin and he didn’t know what to do about it.
He felt guilty about the direction of his thoughts. Ever since that most horrible of days, he mourned his Milah and promised anew that he would love her until the day he finally died. Sometimes he sought female companionship, but it was only ever for a single night, never with the same woman twice, and never on his ship. He didn’t want to besmirch the love he and Milah had for one another by bringing another into their bed. Now, he was lying here, his mind filled with images of a lass whom he longed to know better and whose heart he had decided to win.
“I’m sorry, Milah,” he whispered into the darkness.
Knowing sleep was going to continue to elude him, he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Grabbing his flask off of the nightstand, he took a healthy swig and savored the familiar burn down his throat. Then he got up and lit the lantern on his desk. If he couldn’t sleep, he might as well read.
He gave up after ten minutes. Sighing, he slammed the book closed, then donned his leather duster and ascended the ladder. He walked the decks of the Jolly Roger, rubbing non-existent smudges from her highly polished railings, double checking that her sails were folded correctly, and trying to convince himself that she was the only love he needed in his life.
The problem was, his heart wasn’t listening to logic.
Sleep didn’t come until an hour before daybreak. Thankfully, he didn’t enter REM sleep, so he wasn’t able to determine which woman would appear to him in his dreams.
*********
It was almost noon when Emma made it back to his ship. “Still here, I see,” she called up to him from where she stood on the pier.
“I assured you I wasn’t going to leave.”
She eyed him critically. “Are you alright? You look like hell.”
“Why, thank you very much, Swan. How kind of you to notice.”
“I thought you would be the happiest person on Earth, now that you’ve finally gotten your revenge.”
He shrugged. “Perhaps the day was too stimulating to allow me to sleep well.” Seeing her about to speak again, he cut in. “Where is Baelfire this morning?”
Emma closed her eyes and shook her head disgustedly. “I already regret bringing him here. He’s driving me crazy, asking to meet Henry.”
“You haven’t introduced the two of them yet, I take it?”
“No. Henry was at Regina’s last night and was off to school before I woke up this morning. Neal thinks I should pull him out of school. I keep telling him I want the chance to talk to Henry first, but he’s really pushing it. I managed to sneak away from him while he and Belle were making arrangements to bury Gold.”
While she was talking, Hook was making his way down the gangplank to stand in front of her. “I have no doubt you will stand your ground against him, Love.”
“I know. It’s just…things were good between me and Henry since Mary Margaret and I got back to Storybrooke. Now I have to tell him I lied to him and I’m afraid he’s going to hate me.”
Hook’s mind flashed to Baelfire’s reaction when he discovered the drawing of Milah in the captain’s quarters. His words were full of hatred and betrayal. To this day, he hadn’t forgiven him. Hook certainly hoped Henry wouldn’t react the same way.
Hoping to divert Emma’s worries, he asked, “How did Belle take the news last night?”
“Just as you would expect; she’s devastated. She was relieved to know that Gold found his son before he died. We didn’t tell her Neal was furious with his father for killing his mother and refused to forgive him. I’m assuming Belle didn’t know Gold’s role in Milah’s death.”
“Do you think if she did, she would have ever become involved with the bloody demon?”
“No, probably not. Belle tries to find the best in everyone, but hearing that bit of news might have been too much for even her.”
“You told her the, uh, the circumstances of his death?”
“Yeah. Let’s just say you’re definitely not her favorite person. She’s still recovering from the gunshot wound you gave her and now you killed her boyfriend.”
Hook grimaced. Thinking of the Dark One as someone’s ‘boyfriend’ turned his stomach. Not wanting to think about Rumplestiltskin anymore, he changed the subject. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit this morning, Swan?”
“I have to take you back to jail. Everyone in town knows you’ve returned. Letting you go free after you shot someone isn’t going to sit well with them.”
“Even though I rid your fair town and the world of the Dark One’s power?”
“The people in town don’t know that yet. Belle isn’t planning to tell them until after Gold is buried. I’m sure the news will leak out soon. Until then, I don’t want Leroy running around town yelling, ‘Killer on the loose! Killer on the loose!’”
Reaching around behind her back, she extracted handcuffs and held them up between them.
“Again?” Hook sighed. “You’re really into this, aren’t you?”
“Standard procedure,” she explained. “Hand and hook behind your back.”
With a dramatic display of reluctance, he did as told. They walked down the pier and onto the beach, then over to the squad car in a moment of deja vu.
On the way to the sheriff’s station, Hook asked, “How is your father, Swan?”
“He has a headache and a good sized lump on his head, but he’ll be fine. You’re not his favorite person, either. In fact, you don’t have many people on your side in this town, which is why I figured you would take the opportunity to leave when I offered it to you.”
“There’s only one person I wish to have on my side, Love. I couldn’t care less about anyone else.”
She glanced at him in the rearview mirror. “You’re really adamant about having that dinner with me, aren’t you?”
“I would never have allowed the bloody crocodile aboard my ship if you hadn’t agreed to that. I fully intend to collect what is owed to me.”
“You might have to settle for Granny’s takeout in your cell, while I eat at my desk.”
“I believe the deal was dinner on my ship.”
“Yeah, well, you might be locked up for quite a while, depending on what Regina says.”
“What does Regina have to do with it?”
Emma pulled up to the station, put the car in park and turned it off. Twisting in her seat, she said, “We don’t have a court system in Storybrooke, so the mayor decides on punishment for crimes. That’s the way she set it up during the curse and we never changed it. Considering the fact you killed her mother, I doubt Regina will be lenient toward you.”
“Regina and I had…an understanding before the curse was cast. I’m sure she will consider that.”
“What sort of understanding?” Emma asked.
Hook leaned forward, putting his face close to the divider between the front and back seat. “Let’s just say we also had a deal. It took a while, but I finally kept my end of it.”
Emma’s eyes widened. “You made a deal with Regina to kill her mother?”
“The two of them never had what you might call a close mother-daughter relationship.”
“Just when I thought I heard it all,” Emma mumbled, unbuckling her seat belt and opening the car door.
After releasing him from the back seat, she walked him into the station, her hand gripping his elbow. Upon entering the main area, David rose from the desk, strode across the room and punched Hook in the face.
“Dad!” Emma yelled.
“That’s for the last time we met,” David said, shaking his hand slightly.
Hook licked his bloodied lip before replying, “I thought you might be a bit more genial, considering I brought your daughter home safely.”
“You knocked all the genial out of me when you hit me with that crowbar.”
Emma led Hook across the room, removed the cuffs, unlocked the cell and gestured for him to enter. Dabbing at his lip, he walked in, winking at her as he passed. It might have been his imagination, but he thought he detected the hint of a smile on her face.
She slammed the door closed, then turned as an afterthought. “I almost forgot. Give me your hook.”
“If you want to hold something, Love, I have a perfectly good hand,” he offered slyly, holding up his hand and wiggling his fingers.
She huffed, but he saw the corners of her mouth turn up again. “Just hand over the hook, funny guy.” As he twisted the hook out of the brace, she added, “And while you’re at it, give me whatever you used to pick the lock last time.”
“I thought you didn’t care if I escaped and sailed away, Swan.”
“You said you wouldn’t leave until I kept my part of the bargain.”
“Ah, yes, our dinner together,” he said, glancing toward David as he said it. His reaction to Hook’s statement didn’t disappoint.
“Your what?” he shouted.
“Calm down, Dad,” Emma said, rolling her eyes. “I had to make a deal with him so he would agree to bring Gold back to Storybrooke. It’s just dinner.”
“On my ship,” Hook contributed.
“On his ship?!”
Emma threw Hook a frustrated glare, before turning to her father. “I’ll say it again - it’s just dinner. And it’s probably not going to happen anytime soon. Regina will have to decide what to do with him. In fact, I need to go to her office to bring her up to speed.”
David checked his watch. “I’m supposed to be over at the cemetery in ten minutes to guard against anyone going in while they’re burying Gold.”
Emma sighed. “We probably shouldn’t leave Hook alone. Can you get Leroy to come over and keep an eye on him again?”
“Is that really necessary?” Hook asked.
David narrowed his eyes at Hook for several seconds before picking up the phone.
Turning back to Hook, Emma stated, “Guess that answers your question. Now, hand it over.”
With a dramatic sigh, he passed his hook through the bars into her waiting hand. She accepted it, then held up her other hand. He threw her his most charming smile, but she just tilted her head and speared him with another meaningful glare. Reluctantly, he reached into his pocket and removed the long hairpin.
As she accepted it, she asked, “Why do you have this thing, anyway?”
“As you can imagine, managing all of these buttons one-handed is quite difficult, so I use that to help pull them through the buttonholes.”
“I think you missed a few,” she murmured.
“Ah, so you’ve noticed,” he cheeked.
She turned away, but not before Hook saw the blush that colored her cheeks. With a satisfied smirk, he crossed the cell and took a seat on the cot.
David left before Leroy arrived, giving Hook some time alone with Emma. “Do you have a preference of what to eat for our dinner together, Swan?”
“You’re awfully presumptuous, thinking you’ll be out of jail anytime soon.”
“I did Regina a favor by killing Rumplestiltskin. I have a feeling she’s going to take that into consideration when she decides my fate.”
“People in town love and respect Belle. They won’t be happy if you get off scot-free for shooting her.”
Hook scuffed his boots back and forth on the floor. “I do feel bad for shooting the lass. I’m glad I only wounded her.”
“At least you’re remorseful,” Emma remarked.
Before Hook could respond, Leroy burst into the office. “I’m here, Sister,” he blustered. Walking straight up to the bars of the cell, he spouted, “No funny business. I’m watching you, Pirate.”
Hook stood and sauntered over to stand in front of him, “Yes, Dwarf. That should deter me from any malfeasance.”
“I don’t know how long I’ll be gone,” Emma said.
Leroy and Hook continued glaring at each other for several seconds, until Leroy broke eye contact to say, “Charming didn’t tell me why he isn’t able to be here. Is he out on a call?”
Emma and Hook exchanged a quick look. “Um, yeah. Something like that,” Emma mumbled vaguely.
“Well, as long as one of you is back by dinner time. Granny will run out of bacon for my burger if I get there too late.”
“It looks like you could afford to forgo dinner now and then,” Hook muttered.
“Behave yourself, Hook,” Emma cut in before Leroy got a chance to respond.
After she left, Leroy sat down and began swiveling in the chair, keeping an eye on Hook. “So, I’m assuming you followed Sheriff Swan to New York after you knocked out her father?”
“You must be the smart dwarf,” Hook said, resuming his spot on the cot.
“Then how are the two of you back, but there’s no sign of Gold? Did you leave him in New York?”
“I have no idea of the Dark One’s location.” He wasn’t technically lying. The darkness dissipated, but he didn’t know where it went.
Leroy crossed his arms over his chest. “You expect me to believe that?”
Hook shrugged. “It makes me no difference what you believe. I went to New York to ensure Swan’s safety and as you can see, I accomplished that objective.”
Leroy leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. “Are you sweet on the sheriff?”
Hook very deliberately laid down and turned toward the wall, his back facing the dwarf.
“Because if you are, you’re never going to get her,” Leroy continued. “Her parents and most of the town won’t allow it. She’s too good for the likes of you, Pirate.”
Hook closed his eyes, trying to go to sleep so he wouldn’t have to listen to the grumpy man any longer. It didn’t work. Even though Leroy stopped talking, the last words he said kept replaying themselves over and over in Hook’s mind.
She’s too good for the likes of you, Pirate.
*********
Word of Gold’s death did indeed leak out, and soon the entire town was aware that they were free of the Dark One forever. Besides expressing their condolences to Belle, they didn’t show any signs of sadness over his loss.
Neal was greeted with trepidation. Granny reluctantly offered him a room at the boarding house and reassured the townspeople that she would keep an eye on him. If he showed any inkling of being like his father, she wouldn’t hesitate to use her crossbow.
Regina stopped in at the sheriff’s station the day after the ship arrived back from New York. After telling David she needed to speak to Hook privately, she stepped in front of his cell and glared at him through the bars.
“Your Majesty,” he drawled. “Or should I say ‘Madam Mayor’?”
“Is it true you’re responsible for my mother’s death, Hook?”
“Where did you hear that?”
“Word gets around. Now answer the question.”
“Aye, Love. I finally carried out your noble request.”
“Once the curse was cast, the request was null and void.”
“I wasn’t made aware of any alteration in plans or any changes in your feelings toward your mother. Just because I didn’t do it when you initially sent me to do so, the result is still the same. Now don’t try to tell me you grieve her passing, or that you would have welcomed her to Storybrooke with open arms.”
Regina’s mouth tightened into a straight line before she answered, “You know I didn’t want her here.”
He gave a slight nod. “That’s correct, so I did you a favor. And another by killing Gold. I’d say you owe me, Your Majesty.”
“I suppose you think I should give you some huge reward,” she growled. “What’s your price, Hook?”
He rose from the cot and slowly moved to stand in front of her. “My freedom will do nicely.”
Regina’s perfectly groomed eyebrows raised in surprise. “That’s all you want? That doesn’t sound like the greedy pirate I know.”
He shrugged nonchalantly. “My life’s goal has been met. I have enough doubloons to last me for another three hundred years. What more could I possibly need?”
She crossed her arms and studied him. “If I grant your freedom, I assume you will leave town.”
“Never assume anything.”
“Why would you stay?”
Hook studied his fingernails. “I don’t believe my plans are any of your business.”
“I’m the mayor of Storybrooke. Everything is my business.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You might control your townspeople, but…”
“I brought lunch, Hook.” He looked over Regina’s shoulder to see Emma coming into the room, holding a brown paper bag aloft.
Regina heaved an exaggerated sigh and turned to look over her shoulder. “Didn’t your idiot father tell you I wanted to speak to Hook without being interrupted?”
“I haven’t seen David,” Emma replied coolly. “I’ve been out on patrol all morning. I’m happy to report no one is breaking any laws.”
“No one except him,” Regina said, jerking her head towards Hook.
Emma set the bag of food on the desk. “Well, he’s locked up, so I don’t think we’ll have to worry about him.”
“Apparently he broke out once before and he’s a pirate. Locking him up doesn’t guarantee he won’t break out.”
“He doesn’t have any reason to break out this time, do you, Hook?”
“Alas, no. All of my objectives have been met.”
“I still don’t trust him,” Regina said.
“You needn’t worry, Madam Mayor. Your sheriff is quite efficient,” Hook said. “She particularly enjoys using her handcuffs on me, don’t you Swan?”
He was satisfied to see her cheeks turn pink. She changed the subject by asking, “Have you decided on his punishment yet?”
“Perhaps she’ll sentence me to house arrest with you. Do you have a spare bed? If not, I’m willing to share.”
Regina looked back and forth between them, her mouth set in a firm line. “Miss Swan, if you don’t mind, I haven't finished speaking with your boyfriend.”
Hook suppressed a chuckle, as Emma’s mouth dropped open. “My boyfriend? Hook? What’s your problem, Regina?”
“My problem,” Regina spat, “is that you’re impeding my job.”
“Fine,” Emma shot back. “I’ll be in the other room, eating lunch. When you finally finish your job, let me know.” Picking up the sack, she turned on her heel and went into the small inner office, slamming the door behind her.
Seeing her stand up to Regina filled Hook with pride and more than a little desire. Emma Swan was fiery and fierce, just the way he liked his women.
With effort, he turned his attention back to Regina. She was drumming the manicured fingernails of her right hand on her left bicep. “I’m willing to bet one of your reasons for remaining in Storybrooke involves Miss Swan.”
“I would have never guessed you were one for gambling, Your Majesty.”
She glared at him as Hook stared back at her unflinchingly, plastering a bored look on his face. After nearly a minute, she called loudly, “Sheriff Swan, come out here!”
Emma emerged, chewing and rubbing her hands on her jeans. “You bellowed?”
“I do not bellow,” Regina remarked snarkily. “I’ve come to a decision about this prisoner. He needs to be punished for the attempt he made on Ms. French’s life. Therefore, I sentence him to one month in jail. By that time, maybe he’ll be ready to board his ship, sail away and be some other realm’s problem.”
With that, she spun around and walked out the door, heels clicking on the cement floor.
Emma watched her go, then turned to face Hook. “Looks like you’re going to be our guest for a while longer.”
“Aye, but at least my jailer is a welcome sight to behold.”
“You told me you won’t stay in this cell. Do I need to make sure someone is here to watch you around the clock? Because I’ll be damned if I’m going to chase you down every other day.”
“As tempting as it is to have you running after me, I give you my word as a gentleman that I will not escape.”
She narrowed her eyes as she studied him to detect any trace of deceit. Finding none, she said, “Don’t make me regret trusting you, Hook.”
He wrapped his hand around the bars of the cell. “You’re going to take my advice and try something new, eh Swan?”
Hooking her thumbs in the back pockets of her jeans, she shrugged. “You went all the way to New York to make sure I was safe, and didn’t leave when I gave you the chance. I guess you’ve earned my trust.”
Hood couldn’t keep the grin off of his face. The fact that she trusted him was definitely a step in the right direction toward winning her heart. He reached through the bars and twisted a lock of her hair around his finger, enjoying the silky feel of it against his calloused skin. “I’m very happy to hear that, Love.”
She was just opening her mouth to reply, when Baelfire entered the room. Hook’s eyes shifted to the other man, causing Emma to look over her shoulder. As soon as she saw Neal, she stiffened.
Bae stopped short when he saw how close the couple was standing. Then he saw that Hook had a lock of Emma’s hair wrapped around his finger and his face turned crimson.
“What’s going on here, Ems?” he blustered.
“Nothing,” she answered tightly.
“Doesn’t look that way to me. Looks like the fucking pirate is trying to seduce you, just like he did my mother.”
“Give it a rest, Neal. He’s behind bars and that’s where he has to stay for a month.”
“A month?” he shouted. “That’s all he gets for killing my father?”
“Actually,” Hook began, “that sentence is for shooting Belle French. Regina felt I did the town a favor by ridding it of the Dark One.”
“What the fuck? You’re just going to get away with murder?” Neal raged.
“Oh, come on, Neal,” Emma groaned. “You’re the one who said to just let your dad die. Now you want to act like the grieving son? I don’t buy it.”
He walked over to stand in front of the cell, looking back and forth between Hook and Emma. Hook untangled his finger from her hair and pulled his hand back. As much as he wanted to smirk at the angry man, he decided it was best not to add fuel to the fire. He didn’t want to put Emma in an even more uncomfortable position.
Bae turned his back toward Hook and tried to step between Emma and the bars. “Isn't it about time for Henry to come home from school, Ems?”
She heaved a sigh and turned to look at the clock on the wall. “School lets out in half-an-hour. Once my dad gets back to the station, I’ll leave to go pick Henry up.”
“Cool. I’ll come with you.”
Emma folded her arms over her chest and fixed him with a fierce scowl. Hook was quite happy not to be on the receiving end of it. “No, you will not. I’ve already told you that I need to talk to Henry first. I want to prepare him to meet you.”
“What’s there to prepare? You just say, ‘Henry, this is your father.’ What’s so hard about that?”
“For fuck’s sake, Neal! He thinks his father is dead!”
“Why the hell would he think that?” Neal yelled.
“Because that’s what I told him! I said you were a firefighter who died as a hero…”
Neal leaned forward until his face was mere inches away from hers. “What the fuck, Emma? Why would you do something so idiotic?”
Emma didn’t back away from him as she spoke through gritted teeth. “Would you rather I told him that his dad was a thief and a liar who abandoned me and let me go to jail for a crime he committed?”
When Hook saw Neal grasp Emma’s arms, he had enough. “Let go of her, Bae!” he demanded, reaching through the bars to grab the other man’s jacket.
“Stay out of this, Hook!” Baelfire shouted, jerking away from Hook’s grip, letting go of Emma at the same time. “She’s not yours to protect!”
“She’s not yours, either!” Hook shot back.
“That’s enough!” Emma exclaimed. “Neal, you need to leave. After I’ve had a chance to talk to Henry, I’ll call you. That is, if he wants to meet you today. If he needs more time to process everything, that’s what he’ll get. And you will agree to it, or you won’t meet him at all. Is that clear?”
“I came all this way and he’s my son. You can’t keep me from seeing him.”
“I can and I will if you don’t back off. Go back to your room at the boarding house and wait for me to call.”
Hook watched carefully to see what Baelfire would do next. If he continued to defy and bully Emma, Hook would find some way to get out of the cell and go to her aid.
After several more moments of glowering at Emma, Bae finally stomped out of the office, nearly running into David, who was on his way in.
“What’s wrong with him?” he asked.
“He’s demanding to see Henry and I’m making him wait. I need to talk to Henry first.”
David took off his jacket and hung it over the back of a chair. “I can understand his impatience. He just found out he has a son; it’s only natural to be anxious to meet him.”
“You’re taking his side?” Emma asked.
“I didn’t realize you two are on opposite sides. I thought you were, um…”
Emma’s eyes widened. “Do you think we’re together?”
“Well, you do have a child together and you just found each other again after so many years.”
She put her hands on her hips. “If I had my way, I would have never seen him again.”
David’s jaw dropped. “But Mary Margaret and I thought the two of you…”
“Well, you thought wrong!” she spouted, then angrily grabbed her keys and pushed past him.
He stood rooted to the spot, staring at the door through which she just disappeared. Almost to himself, he murmured, “I’m so confused. Why wouldn’t she want to…”
“Be with Baelfire?” Hook interrupted. “Have you ever asked your daughter about the father of her child?”
David turned around, the look on his face making it clear the answer to Hook’s question was ‘no’. Instead, he said, “That’s none of your business.”
“Perhaps not, but Emma did share with me what happened between them, and let’s just say she has good reason not to want to be with him.”
“Why would she tell you and not her mother and I?”
Hook shrugged. “I think she felt a bit…trapped by the whole situation of him coming to Storybrooke and she wanted to share her side of the story with someone. I just happened to be available.”
“Did he hurt her?”
“Not physically, but that’s all I’m going to say. It’s not my story to tell.”
David eyed him critically for several seconds, then stepped closer to the cell. “Let me give you a bit of advice, Hook. She’s never gonna like you.”
“Is that so?”
“Well, how could she? You’re nothing but a pirate.” With those words, he spun on his heel and walked away.
The cocky smirk on Hook’s face faded as he watched David go. For the second time in two days, he had been told that Emma Swan would never be with him because he wasn’t good enough for her. The one consolation he had was that neither time, it was Emma who said it. He would have to cling to the hope that she didn’t feel the same way.
*********
Hook didn’t expect to see Emma any more that day, so when she came into the station soon after he finished eating the meal Granny provided, he was pleasantly surprised. However, seeing the agitated state she was in, his pleasure soon turned to concern.
“I thought I was finishing out this shift,” David said.
“I know, but I figured you would want to spend the evening with Mary Margaret, and since Henry is staying at Regina’s…”
“What? Why is he doing that? I thought you were introducing him to Neal.”
“Yeah, well, let’s just say things didn’t go as planned,” she said sadly.
“Emma, if you need to…”
“Look, Dad,” she sighed, “I really don’t want to talk about it right now. I’ll be home in a couple of hours, okay? Maybe by then, I’ll be ready to tell you what happened.”
Hook thought David was going to argue with her, but after a few moments, he blew out a heavy sigh and said, “Okay. I’ll see you at home. Be careful.” After kissing her forehead, he gave Hook a warning look, then left.
Emma dropped into a chair, threw her head back and groaned.
“Alright there, Swan?” Hook asked.
She was motionless for so long, he thought she wasn’t going to answer. Finally, she sat up and put her head in her hands. “Not really. Henry is very pissed at me for lying to him. He had no interest in meeting Neal and insisted on going to Regina’s because he doesn’t want to be around me. Then when I called Neal, he went off on me, saying it was all my fault his son refused to meet him.”
“I’m sorry, Love.”
She didn’t reply. He felt helpless seeing her sitting there, looking so defeated.
When she finally stood up, she paced back and forth in front of his cell. “Why did I ever think I could do this? I know nothing about being a mom. I probably screwed him up for life. First I gave him away, then I lied to him about his father…”
“Emma, stop,” Hook said firmly.
She stood still, looking at him with tear-filled eyes. “It’s true.”
“No, it’s not. It sounds to me like you made a very courageous decision by giving him up for adoption. Bae abandoned you and left you with very little choice. As far as telling him Baelfire was dead, you had no idea Henry would have a chance to meet him someday. You wanted to spare him the pain of knowing his father was a bloody coward, just like his own father before him. In my opinion, there was nothing wrong with telling Henry he was a hero. It was far kinder than the truth.”
“He was so angry,” she whispered hoarsely. “He may never forgive me.”
Hook’s heart ached for her. “Come here, Love,” he said softly, stretching his hand out through the bars.
She shook her head, wiping at her eyes. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”
“Emma, look at me,” he coaxed.
Slowly, she raised her eyes. Even more slowly, she reached forward to place her hand in his. He gave a little tug to pull her closer. When she was near enough, he attempted to put his arms around her, frustrated that the cell bars were between them.
“This is stupid,” she said, turning her back and walking away. He almost groaned in frustration, until he realized she was pulling a set of keys out of the desk drawer. She approached the cell again, hesitating briefly before unlocking the door. After swinging it open, she stood uncertainly, shifting from foot to foot.
Hook stepped through the doorway and into her space. Locking eyes with her, he silently asked permission and upon receiving it, gently pulled her into his arms.
At first, her body was stiff and unyielding, but as he rubbed his hand and wrist up and down her back, she gradually relaxed and let him comfort her. “You’re a good mother, Emma. Henry knows that, and he will forgive you.”
“How can you be so sure?” she mumbled into his chest.
“Because I know first-hand how hard it is to stay away from you.” He heard her scoff lightly, but she didn’t say anything. He didn’t know how long she let him hold her, but he relished every second.
Finally pulling away from him, she said, “Thank you, Hook.”
Using his finger to lift her chin, he looked into her beautiful jade eyes and requested, “Will you please call me Killian, Love?”
She blinked, then gave him a small smile. “Okay…Killian.”
*********
Thank you for reading! The final chapter is probably about half written, so hopefully it won't be as long a wait for it.
Tagging:
@qualitycoffeethings @grimmswan @cs-rylie @wyntereyez @kmomof4
@hookedmom @ultraluckycatnd @paradiselady19 @xarandomdreamx @motherkatereloyshipper
@lfh1226-linda @pawshapedheart @vampcoffeegyrl23 @tiganasummertree @bluewildcatfanatic
@eleveneitherway @elfiola @kday426 @julieenchanted-swans @gingerchangeling
@andiirivera @djlbg @jonesfandomfanatic @snowbellewells @anmylica
@booksteaandtoomuchtv @cocohook38 @ilovemesomekillianjones @zaharadessert @lyssapup27
@undercaffinatednightmare @winterbaby89 @jennjenn615 @xsajx @jackieorioncat
@teamhook @soniccat @jarienn972 @softkilly @kymbersmith-90
@apiratewhopines @hollyethecurious @laianely @resident-of-storybrooke @exhaustedpirate
@caught-in-the-filter @stahlop @veryverynotgoodwrites @darkshadow7 @fleurdepetite
@whimsicallyenchantedrose @earanemith @superchocovian @idristardis @captainswan-kellie
@beckettj @killihan-jones
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tinyficbot · 2 days ago
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Five Times Jaskier Bit Geralt, and One Time Geralt Bit Back
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1. The Argument in Oxenfurt
The fight had started over something trivial—Geralt's refusal to let Jaskier tag along on a dangerous contract. As always, Jaskier was determined to argue his case.
"I'm not a child, Geralt!" he snapped, pacing furiously around the small room. "I can handle myself!"
"You nearly died last time," Geralt retorted, his voice low and controlled.
"And I learned from it!"
Geralt sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose before pointing a finger at Jaskier. "Stop being so damn stubborn—"
Before he could finish, Jaskier lunged forward and bit the offending finger.
"Did you just—"
"Yes, I did!" Jaskier barked, glaring up at him. "And I’ll do it again if you keep waving your big, stupid Witcher finger in my face!"
Geralt stared at him, utterly baffled. He slowly withdrew his hand, rubbing the faint indentations left by Jaskier’s teeth.
"Noted," he said dryly, watching as Jaskier huffed.
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2. The Festival at Toussaint
Toussaint was a land of indulgence, and Jaskier thrived in its opulence. The wine flowed freely, and the bard's cheeks were flushed as he danced through the crowd. Geralt stayed on the outskirts, arms crossed, watching the revelry with a mix of amusement and weariness.
"Geralt!" Jaskier called, staggering toward him with a bottle in hand. "You need to lighten up!"
"I'm fine here."
"Oh, don’t be boring," Jaskier said, grabbing Geralt’s arm and leaning heavily against him. He tilted his head to rest on Geralt’s shoulder, his warm breath brushing against the Witcher’s neck.
Without warning, Jaskier bit down on Geralt’s shoulder—not hard enough to hurt, but enough to surprise him.
"Jaskier," Geralt growled, pulling back.
"Consider that payback for being such a sour-faced grump," Jaskier replied, grinning lazily.
Geralt rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath about drunk bards and their terrible ideas.
---
3. The Ambush in Kaedwen
The bandits had come out of nowhere, but Geralt was quick to dispatch them. Jaskier, however, had been grabbed and held at knifepoint until Geralt's blade found its mark.
Once the danger passed, Geralt knelt beside Jaskier, his golden eyes scanning the bard for injuries.
"Are you hurt?" he asked, his voice calm but firm.
Jaskier didn’t answer. His breath was shallow, his eyes wide and unfocused.
"Jaskier," Geralt said again, cupping the bard's face gently to check for any unseen wounds.
Suddenly, Jaskier flinched and bit down on Geralt's thumb—a reflexive, fear-driven action.
Geralt didn’t pull back, though the sharp pain surprised him. "Jaskier," he said softly, his hand still cradling the bard's face.
Realizing what he'd done, Jaskier immediately let go, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "I—sorry. I didn’t mean to—"
"It’s alright," Geralt reassured him, his voice soothing. "You're safe now."
---
4. The Winter at Kaer Morhen
Kaer Morhen’s winters were unforgiving, and Jaskier was wholly unprepared. Wrapped in every blanket he could find, he still shivered miserably.
When Geralt returned from a hunt, Jaskier wasted no time throwing himself at the Witcher, pressing his cold nose against Geralt's warm cheek.
"You’re freezing," Geralt muttered, peeling Jaskier off him.
"I know. That’s why I need you to stay right here," Jaskier replied, refusing to let go.
As Geralt tried to push him away, Jaskier leaned in and bit his cheek—not hard, just enough to get his attention.
"Really?" Geralt asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Desperate times call for desperate measures," Jaskier replied, his teeth still grazing the Witcher’s skin.
With a resigned sigh, Geralt let the bard cling to him. "You’re insufferable."
"And yet, here I am," Jaskier said, grinning smugly.
---
5. The Intimate Moment
Their breaths were uneven, bodies entwined in the moonlight. Jaskier’s hands roamed across Geralt’s scarred chest, his lips following in their wake.
Geralt's golden eyes watched him, his hand tracing slow, deliberate lines down Jaskier’s body.
When Geralt leaned forward to kiss him, Jaskier caught his neck in his teeth, biting just enough to leave a mark.
Geralt groaned, his voice low and rough. "You’ve been wanting to do that all night, haven’t you?"
"Maybe," Jaskier replied, his grin wicked.
Geralt kissed him fiercely, his hands tightening on Jaskier’s hips as the tension between them melted into something more.
---
+1 .When Geralt Bit Back
Geralt had always been careful with his strength, his instincts tightly controlled. His sharp teeth, a result of mutations, were not meant for human skin, no matter how much his instincts screamed at him to claim Jaskier as his.
But this time was different.
The intimacy between them had deepened, their bond unshakable. Geralt trusted Jaskier with everything—his life, his heart, and now, his control.
As their passion grew, Geralt’s instincts flared. His fingers gripped Jaskier’s hips as he leaned down, his lips brushing against the bard’s neck. For a moment, he hesitated, the sharp edge of his teeth just grazing Jaskier’s skin.
“Geralt,” Jaskier whispered, his voice steady despite the tension in his body. “It’s okay. I trust you.”
The words broke something in Geralt. Slowly, carefully, he bit down—not enough to draw blood, but enough to leave a mark, a sign of the love and trust they shared.
Jaskier gasped, his fingers tangling in Geralt’s hair. “Finally,” he said, his voice trembling but filled with affection. “Took you long enough.”
Geralt pressed a kiss to the mark, his lips soft against the indentations. When their eyes met, there was no fear, only understanding.
“You’re mine,” Geralt murmured, his voice low and rough.
“And you’re mine,” Jaskier replied, pulling him down into another kiss.
For the first time, Geralt allowed himself to follow his instincts—not because he had to, but because he wanted to, and because Jaskier had given him the freedom to do so.
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moonbeamastrology · 3 days ago
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Dream Messages
Hello everyone, it’s been a hot minute since i posted a pick a card but uhhhhhh here u go lol. this pick a card is all about the messages your dreams have been trying to tell you. Center yourself, take a few deep breaths and chose the buggy image that calls to you. Take what resonates and leave the rest. I hope that this pick a card serves you well <3 love u
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Pile 1- Caterpillar 
Dream Oracle: Dog, Baby, Falling, Elevator 
Tarot: 6 of cups, 7 of swords, 8 of swords, 9 of swords, 10 of pentacles, Temperance
(The dream oracle cards could have some themes that have been showing up in your dreams lately so check for some extra confirmation <3)
Hey pile 1 <3. You’re going through a period of growth right now (whether you resonate with ascensions, elevations, level ups, glow ups, etc) we have an ascending tarot number order ending with temperance. You may be super in your head and overthinking a lot right now or dealing with a lot of regret over the past or anxiety for a new experience (job, class, relationship, or creative project) but your dreams are trying to show you that everything is working out in a very aligned way for your best interest (*incredibly* stable, harmonious, and abundant). You’re being asked to follow your instincts during this new period and that it may not be exactly what you had envisioned or hoped for but it will be just as good or even better so be open to what the universe is trying to deliver to you. Everything will work out possibly even overnight (I’m seeing this build up of anxiety like “omg this is all going to blow up and explode” and then the situation is resolved in like the chillest manner ever). You’re undergoing *a lot* of healing while you sleep (possibly past life healing as well or having dreams of past lives) if you’ve been waking up exhausted or waking up multiple times during the night this is why (maybe check the time you wake up for some it could be a really opportune manifesting time). If there’s healing work you have been avoiding then your dreams are showing you what needs to be healed. I don’t get the feeling that it’s anything major, it’s something smaller that you’re just not really processing (character development/plot?? lol). Avoiding the work could cause a bigger problem in the long run. Your dreams have been reflecting your own reality so if you’ve been having stressful dreams, take a look at what the stressors are and how they could relate to your current experiences. Also so many cards came out so some of you could be feeling really overwhelmed at this time, make sure to delegate and to ask for help where you need it. At this time your dreams are trying to show you that you need to connect with what’s really important to you. Follow your instincts/intuition, do what you need to do but stay focused. I love you!!! <3
These mantras/affirmations come from the dream oracle deck, utilize them if you feel called to.
Dog: I pat myself on the back for expressing my instincts for love and loyalty. 
Baby: With complete trust I allow the universe to midwife me into this new chapter of my life.
Falling: I am grounded in the bedrock of the here and now, rooted to the heart of unconditional love.
Elevator: I am moving up in the world, and I grow and glow from glory to greater glory.
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Pile 2- Moth
Dream Oracle: Bridge, Dance, Chase
Tarot: 7 of cups, The Hanged Man R, 4 of pentacles 
(The dream oracle cards could have some themes that have been showing up in your dreams lately so check for some extra confirmation <3)
Heyyyyy pile 2 are you guys into reality shifting or quantum leaping? If not, maybe there’s something you’re trying to manifest right now. Bridging that gap between where you are and where you want to be (what you want is already aligned). Maybe you’re literally dreaming of your dream life. You could also be experiencing some choice paralysis or you have a lot that you want to manifest in this life. Your dreams are telling you which manifestation is the most important to you right now. If there’s no indication then sit with yourself and really listen to what your heart and soul are calling you to. I feel that your dreams are trying to show you that you have subconscious blockage that’s preventing the manifestation. Or they’re showing you that you’re holding onto something that maybe you consciously don’t realize that you are. Subconscious programming/subliminals while you sleep would be really beneficial to you at this time (if you already listen to them then this is confirmation that it’s working). Drink more water. Change your perspective on how you can achieve your goals, maybe try something new (like spoiling yourself). I feel the key would be to really tap into your sensuality and luxury (big Taurus energy). Sacral chakra healing. Look into masturbation manifestation. Treat yourself how your dream self would treat you. Find out what self care really means to you. I do feel like you’re taking steps to achieve your goals so be proud of yourself for that. You are really powerful at this time, there’s just some illusion/blockage that needs to shatter before what you want manifests. Your energy felt really good pile 2 and your manifestations feel so close. Keep up the good work! I love you!!!! <3
These mantras/affirmations come from the dream oracle deck, utilize them if you feel called to.
Bridge: With my heart wide open, I realize that I am the energetic bridge that connects me from where I am to where I want to be.
Dance: Life is my dance partner, and I let it lead each step, each groove, and each move I make.
Chase: I can run but I can’t hide from my power.
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Pile 3- Grasshopper
Dream Oracle: Ceremony, Elevator, Fire
Tarot: 2 of pentacles, The Devil R, The Lovers S
(The dream oracle cards could have some themes that have been showing up in your dreams lately so check for some extra confirmation <3)
Hey pile 3 I’m seeing that you guys are going through a major ascension/upgrade/level up right now. You could be going through a flame initiation or a kundalini awakening (iykyk). It feels like you have rediscovered your fire/passion recently. This fire is one of your greatest untapped gifts for real, use it wisely and intentionally because I feel it could burn people in your life if it’s not expressed. You could have just become aware of this potential and Spirit is congratulating you on that. You have come a really long way, healed, and taken accountability, it shows in your energy levels. Getting clear on what you want. There’s lots of good to come soon. You’ve released a bad habit/addiction/relationship/karmic (Spirit applauds you). If you haven’t released this yet then your dreams are showing you what it is and telling you to let go. Some situation is giving you a headache. I feel there are some distractions around and that’s what your dreams are showing you (most likely a person, unfortunately). “Glitter” by Tyler, The Creator except not all that glitters is gold. You have a really beautiful passion and fire within you, take care of it. I feel like telling you that Spirit is really really proud of you for this. I know this reading was really short but you just achieved something really awesome so I feel like some pressure has just been released so give yourself a little grace at this time. Pile 1 is also going through a level up but their energy was much more overwhelmed and worried but maybe there’s a message for you there as well. I love you!! I’m so proud of you!!! <3
These mantras/affirmations come from the dream oracle deck, utilize them if you feel called to.
Ceremony: I honor the changes through which I am going, growing, and glowing!
Elevator: I am moving up in the world, and I grow and glow from glory to greater glory.
Fire: I marvel at the miracle of alchemy as I transform and awaken to the full radiance of my destiny.
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bosooka · 8 hours ago
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no disagreements here, just additions :)
there was a period of time, more 2020-2021, when pro-jedi people were 1) very much outnumbered and 2) hit with gross harassment, suicide bait, bullying etc. that much of the old guard still remembers. i was there as a pro-jedi person and it was honestly really awful. i was told, among other things, that i must not care at all for the crimes the catholic church committed (which, as a sefardic jew, was really appalling)?? about star wars??
this is what really began the era of certain pro-jedi people becoming really mean and hateful, and when i became alienated in the community as someone who...actually follows the teachings of the buddha and tries to not speak or act out of anger lol. i definitely became uncomfortable identifying myself with this group although none of my views on the jedi themselves have or will change, but i also feel sad because i know it's the result of a sort of collective trauma they experienced. even if it was "only" a fer bad apples, the fact that it's functionally impossible to distinguish between a normal person and someone who is going to send you anon hate for 3 days gives you a really nasty hyper-vigilance
(there is a certain knee-jerk attempt to claim that things that happen online aren't "actually" hurtful and don't traumatize, and that is the biggest crock of bullshit i've heard in my life)
i experienced something very similar as a satine fan, during the same time (compounded by being on twitter, which is The Worst Platform Ever), and i have had to train myself out of the subsequent blind rage and anxiety i feel when i see someone being an asshole about her. i am absolutely mortified by the way i've spoken to some people who had no idea why i reacted so intensely to their words, and it was because i became so used to being bullied and clowned on by "satine critical" people that my survival mechanism became "tearing them a new asshole before they have time to react".
in other words, i think a number of pro-jedi fans have developed an unhealthy relationship with fighting on the internet which is not unique to them but is a result of a previous era where harassment and aggression was much more normalized (at risk of invoking The Dark Discourse, i blame the anti-proshipper nonsense for giving cyberbullying new life). all of the new folks coming in are rightfully going "what the fuck? are you okay??" and i hope everyone involved gets therapy.
final note about the "chinese propaganda" angle: as an actual buddhist (jew), the popularity of "jedi critical" takes in SW that are rebuking or degrading buddhist philosophy in SW is the result of the fact that western culture is fundamentally materialist and rewards unhealthy attachment to worldly pleasures and desires as an alternative to the internal self-satisfaction that cannot be bought for all the money in the world.
reducing the chinese government's literal genocide of tibetans to "they hate buddhism" is, once again, a monumental crock of sinophobic horseshit, not least because a third of china still identifies as buddhist and those teachings are all over some of the most popular wuxia/xianxia medias being made in china right now. as if we have to point fingers at the CCP to justify western disdain for any belief system that goes against the grain of the christian-capitalist philosophical hegemony.
that being said, i have literally seen people go, "expecting people to just be okay with the fact that you can't control what happens in your life is an evil soulless teaching that only a disgusting cult would teach!" and their response to people pointing out that "you can't control what happens in your life," is a fundamental buddhist teaching is often either, "well OBVIOUSLY i don't mean it towards the REAL religion that the creator of this franchise is a part of!" or just "you're not even buddhist, what do you care?"
this is not acceptable and it is offensive to buddhists, actually. and, no, the way these teachings are depicted in star wars are not nearly different enough from "real" buddhism (whatever that means) to absolve people who say these things from any sort of responsibility for confronting their internal biases
'jedi bashing is chinese propaganda'
I'm sorry what now -
also, I'm australian :)
and I don't even bash the jedi. I critique them. for their flaws. lovingly. because I yearn for their reform like luke did in the eu, not complete annihilation.
there's a guardians of the whills fanfic set in jeddah and their training system in it is just. chef's kiss I think chirrut and baze could have saved the jedi order singlehandedly
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obsob · 1 year ago
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the accolade ( the...the cat-olade...)
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hplonesomeart · 4 days ago
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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye
#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff#hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this#seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things#like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork#but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating#my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts#like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular#maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well#I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now#I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others#anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period#one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK#Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT#proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy#PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD#all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL#okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3#doodles#sketches#not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me
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loverboybrightsideghost · 6 months ago
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rqg wilde gravestone that reads "third time's the charm ;)"
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tsukasalover · 2 months ago
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I can think of a lot of reasons why I like and have gotten attached to tsukasa more than any other fictional character and i think if i had to keep it simple (or else id be rambling for hours) id say
1. He’s so interesting. I usually pick up the extremely mischaracterized blonde characters anyways but he gets my brain working real hard. its almost 2am and i cant think straight but theres something about his duality that keeps me glued to him and the amount of Layers he has and how removing even one layer or completely ignoring how both his huge ego and kindness + selflessness coexist can really mess up your perception of him. There was something quite short i wrote about how both sides make him. Well. Him. back when his colofes dropped since i was so annoyed at the people Not getting it (while most never even read the STORIES 😁) anf ive been screaming this for a year now Please. Also the way his dream and being a good big brother go hand in hand have captured me. I really like fictional siblings and they fill something personal i miss and Looove looking at the roots of characters. Discovering where this and that and connecting events to what started their behaviors or helped their personality bloom. So seeing saki and toya play such an important role in his life keeps me HOOOKEDDD. I took the bait like tiny fish. Dont regret it. Never will. I like my fictional characters like layered cake. Thats basically how i see them. I had a yummy chocolate cake with so mant layers the other day 🤤 but anyways. I also really like when characters have to learn and grow as people after making really bad mistakes or being straight up assholes so it really took a while even after mainstory but once i got to see more of him with saki and read dazzling i was like. This is the guyyy. Youre mine now lets go. I dont like perfect characters but.. you see.. when characters who have (sometimes way too much) confidence and are dramatic yet are shown to truly be good people who enjoy making others happy… alright.. now im listening… Sign me up…
But really he has almost everything I’ve ever looked for in a character. Starting with the fact that he’s a theatre kid. And blonde. Of course emu nene and rui + more fictional characters have made their way into my heart and ive gotten attached to them on very Very personal levels but when it comes to this Idiot who wants to be a star and reminds me of a dog its something that i dont even know how to explain sometimes. Why is he here? What are you doing inside of my head. Ill never have one solid answer because he takes up too much space in my mind and i become incoherent too often when talking about him.
2. Ignoring my first answer, He is ugly. My favorite punching bag. Cartoon character. Begins floating when he smells pie. I dont know anymore
3. he just like me fr (Which is terrible i dont like that)
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this “woman” he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)“ and I'd be like ”good for them?“ ”stop“#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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I love the original Cars 2006 game so much. The one that got released on like GameCube and Xbox. I mean, I love all the Cars games(Cars 3 Switch game they did you dirty), but that's an entire story for another time giving my individual appriciation for all of them later. What I'm going to say here applies pretty well to the other games that are centered around the first movie as well like Race-O-Rama and Maternationals, but I'm specifcally rewatching the original one's cutscenes again because I don't want to restart my data every time I wanna go through the cutscenes again(even though I enjoy playing it so, so much), and I just love the atmosphere in it so much. Some of my favorite movie scenes are the ones where they don't have any music playing because I love to close my eyes and turn up the volume and just.. pretend I am right there with the characters and right next to them and stuff or that they're talking to me or such, and that is extra immersible when there isn't an entire orchestra going on(not that I am knocking at having music at all, I regularly go back and listen to the soundtracks from movies if they have them posted).
And the game doesn't really have any music at all during any of the cutscenes and the whole thing is like super..soft to me? Not soft as in like fluffy pillows and pink aesthetic soft, but soft as in like it's getting late out and so you're trying to be kinda hushed with your voice and there's not really anywhere you have to be so you slow down your pace and kick a couple of pinecones or rocks. If that makes any sense at all. Cause normally movies or shows(whether the whole series or each individual episode) have a certain plot or arc that is happening that everyone is focused on and consumes the whole thing, give or take a few moments. And while this game does have a particular thing so it can have a start and end to the story of the game, everything is framed in like a "Yeah, this is what they get up to in their freetime." And I don't know if you know but I love my slice of life stuff so sooooooo so so infinitely much. So getting to get that sort of content is really fun and perfect for me. It's like you're just actively hanging around them and getting caught up in whatever typical nonsense they end up in(assuming we are ignoring the whole monster truck bit), and the "OH THINGS ARE. HITITNG THE FAN." Or bigger development moments are saved for like the movies or something or whatever comes up in my head.
I'm not really entirely headed anywhere with this, I just wanted to put out some appriciation for the game and how nice the atmosphere is. I think it's also cause I really love getting to just sit and here them talk and there is a lot of casual conversation that happens and just plain dialog. Like it's not even filler dialog it's just talking and chatting. And I spend a stupid silly amount of time listening to voiceline compilations on YouTube so this is just the bees knees for me.
Thank you for the read though, may I offer you with a clip because APPERENRLY there's a limit to one clip per post that I am just now finding out about. I think I've already talked about the Litnig one anyway. Maybe I'll post it again later.
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I uuuuguguhhh also perfectly reached the tag limit. If anyone needs anything to do in their freetime while bored or as a filler may I suggest reading this post and it's tags, you will be occupied for a while IFNFJCJFNS. I was half joking about reaching the tag limit as well. Well, we all saw it coming, it was going to have to happen one day. And go figure after a long absence that I was going to have it in me to do some running of my mouth...
I do want to say I am probably back now yall! Knock on wood- but I think the reign of my absence is over! Which I am especially hoping so for several reasons but also because I am so SO not done milking F/Ovember to its full extent. I spent too many months looking forward to that to not invest and rot my blog with it.
#honorable mention to Lightning encountering the tuners and they have some beef with each other and so Lightning goes to Wingo-#-and says “What? Are you going to slice and dice me with your spoiler?” AND IM. I LOVE THEM DONT GET ME WRONG BUT.#Lightning just obliterated them with that comment. Shot were fired and RETURNED TO SENDER.#I knowwww the movies are centered around Lightning going through character development but I hope they don't ever-#-completely take away his case of not being able to completely keep his mouth shut in certain moments.#Dare I say. He has a bit of sass to him. Which I mean I completely get why it's practically gone in the second and third movies-#-cause he's no longer an arrogant rookie. But I like to think if he really gets pushed then some of it will show. That it still lingers.#I mean. The second movie doesnt open up with him going “Cmon Mater. Im Lightning McQueen I can do anything!”#because he's entirely dropped any of his arrogance. because he hasn't.#Opening of Cars 3 and he's PLAYING PRAMKS WITH BOBBY AND CAL. And it is a RUNNING thing they have going on.#Let him be silly. He's silly guys.#I actually had other things that I wanted to mention here and then I got caught up in talking about Lightning whoops.#The entire game is centered around him okay what am I supposed to do.#Do I even dare go on my tangent about Chick now. Cause I will probably get close to the tag limits.#Okay I'm going to speedrun my thing of Chick.#Obligatory mention of his voice. uhm. I love the 180° attitude change that happens to him over this clip.#The entire game he is in like the racing official's camera's face about everything and now that I think about it at least-#-Cars 3 was right about giving him his own talk show. but. Chick shutting his mouth for a second and actually showing-#-proper concern over something that isn't tragically derived from something that is therapy worthy is such a sight to see.#Yea okay Kane you always talk about how the movies would be different if you were in it. Now how about the GAMES.#The games that have proper story and plot to them. I am not counting the Cars 2 games as plot.#1. becuase the DS one is just a rip of what extra stuff the movie WAS going to contain before it got cut down cause it was like 2 hours at-#-first. and 2. because the other Xbox game literally has 5 minutes of “This is a thing that is happening!”#Cars 3 Switch game is on the world's thinnest ice for having such a poorly slapped together thing to call a story or plot line.#THE PIXAR XBOX RUSH GAME AND DISNEY INFINITY ARE DIFFERENT.#I'm not going to say what those games have done to me because it will make me have to write a second novel and-#-I will be crying and frothing at the mouth. I should not have reminded myself of the Pixar Rush game.#If I make a post about Finn very soon do not be surprised. I mean. Dont be surprised in general. But extra dont be surrpsied here.#lightning❤️🧡💛#finn🩶💙
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#my Florida shirt just got taken down from Etsy for no fucking reason#Taylor's team just CHUCKED the book at me and fucking LIED in their report to Etsy about it#said I infringed on their trademarks for Lover 1989 and Reputation in their report#and I used.... NONE OF THOSE THINGS. NOT ONE.#that shirt has (obviously) nothing to do with any of those albums even#not in the metadata not in the tags not in the SEO nothing#and since it had no tags of those things it didn't pop up in a sweep and get auto-taken down. it was targeted by them & they manually did i#that design is SO by the book legally and bc of how successful it is I've worked VERY hard to make it that way. even in the SEO#and I mean everything in my shop I go out of my way to make legal but#like that is probably the most actually black and white legal piece of fan merch I've ever seen in my fucking life#but I can't fight back because if I fight back.. if they want it down the next option is prove to Etsy that they're SUING ME#so like. yeah not trying to fuck around and find out there#and that is awful for multiple reasons.#1. I have lost like 90% of my income for the rest of the year. I've grown to rely on income from that shirt as I should bc IT'S FINE#2. it's about to be the holidays. this makes 1 worse and also - people will be searching for this shirt bc it's on ppls holiday wishlists#they now won't be able to find mine#and will therefore google it and buy one of the MILLION FUCKING STOLEN VERSIONS WHICH ARE STILL UP BY THE WAY#and 3. I can't even have these stolen versions taken down anymore because I don't have a leg to stand on since the real thing now doesn't-#exist to prove it's mine#I want to fucking throw up like idk how to do anything other than be sobbing in a fucking ball on the floor#like this is probably the 2nd worst thing that has happened to me in my life lmao#like this shirt was single-handedly paying my rent every month and I had other income but. that shirt was my cushioning#my whole Etsy shop is FUCKED without it like absolutely fucked it was carrying the whole entire thing#I'm scared to upload or DO anything else w my Etsy even because if they just made up lies to get that shirt down#then I am SURE they've got something against me or my shop#and like fucking WHY I work so hard to make everything FAIR AND RIGHT#I worked so fucking hard on that shirt that thing was like my child like my actual full pride and joy#I want to scream I don't even know what to do with myself#it feels like someone just shoved me into a room shut the lights off locked the door and threw away the key#that shirt has been like probably the proudest achievement of my life like no joke and everything I've put into it & my Etsy just got kille
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