#it's 3 am hope this post is as legible to me tomorrow as it is right now

[bush-viper-cutie]

New Student, New Friend

Pairing: Young Snape x french!reader

Word Count: 2,751

Request: #1 “Hi! Can I request a young!Snape x french!reader where the reader's transferred from beauxbatons and isn't fluent in english/has a thick accent? Love your work!!”

#2 “Hi hi! Love your work! Can I request Young Snape x French reader? Sorry if I dont speak well, english is not my first language <3”

Warnings: none

A/N: Hello everyone again! :D I combined both requests because they are pretty similar so enjoy!

Posted: 9/10/21

Masterlist

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~*~*~ = time skip

(Y/n) = first name

(L/n) = last name

~*~*~

~*~*~ = POV change

---

~*~*~*~*~ *~

There was a strange static in the air this morning, one Severus couldn't quite place. He brushed his long hair back behind his ear and listened in to the hushed whispers of passing classmates.

"...Beauxbaton, can you believe it?"

"Nice to not know someone for a change - "

Beauxbaton? Severus gathered they were talking about a new teacher perhaps? Although it wasn't that odd to get new professors in the middle of the school year. Just last year the Dark Arts professor was promptly replaced when he went mad after a spell backfired on him; In fact, every year there was a new one.

It was strange that the new teacher should be a transfer from another school such as Beauxbaton... Maybe they were fired and no one else wanted them, must be down on their luck. And if that is the case, how very fitting for Hogwarts, home of inadequacy.

Severus, still deep in his bitter thoughts, almost tripped over the shoe that had extended out in front of him. He caught himself and whirled around angrily. "Watch it!" he growled, straightening.

James Potter smirked. "Oh, Snivellus. Didn't see you there.” His Gryffindor friends snickered behind him, bolstering his ego. "I'd get along to class if I were you. Wouldn't want to be late on your first day back."

Severus grit his teeth and did everything he could to not growl his displeasure of being in so close proximity to the pinnacle of mediocrity that was Potter. It had been a week after winter holidays had ended but after another nearly fatal encounter with Black, he’d been forced to stay in the Hospital Wing un-zippering his mouth and a couple of fingers before being allowed back.

The memory of the experience made his knees weak, making keeping his riled demeanor that much harder. He was lucky he'd had the foresight to cover his nose before Black unleashed his hex. It wasn’t a quick run from the lake to the nurse, and he certainly wouldn't have made it with his nostrils zippered together as well.

"Mind your own business, Potter." Severus spat out his name like rotten apples, furrowing his brows in an attempt to seem more threatening however he could not help but notice the hallways getting emptier by the second. He knew better than to get caught alone with Potter.

He laughed and turned to catch up with his friends. Severus watched him go, only relaxing his shoulders after Potter had rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight. The hall was empty.

He turned and continued down the corridor when his hearing perked at the scuff of loud footsteps. He whirled around, hand plunging into his robes, but it was too late.

"Levipeds!"

Severus' head snapped back as his feet whipped out from under him. He hung limp in the air, watching his wand roll away on the stone floor. His hair nearly touched the dirty ground.

James laughed. "Welcome back, Snivellus!"

He closed his eyes as his boiling blood rushed to his head. He was hanging upside down in the air, alone in the empty corridor. He couldn't scream for help, he'd just get yelled at for disturbing lessons, and he couldn't reach his wand - as long as his limbs might be, his wand might as well have rolled down into the dungeons. He'd have to hang there until classes were over or one of the portraits decided to help him out for once.

"Eh... Excuse moi?" A quiet voice wrapped in a thick French accent broke the silence.

His eyes flew open and stared straight into the face of a beautiful but completely unfamiliar student. She bent down low to meet his eyes. She must be the mystery person from Beauxbaton, the new student as it turned out.

This was worse, so much worse than being caught by anyone else in the school - except for a very select few. Severus looked around in search of anything that might make this all less embarrassing.

"You need help, no?" Her voice was more confident this time, laced with a hint of friendly amusement.

"Uhh..." He met her eyes and hoped this new student would excuse his red face to be due to all his blood rushing down.

She straightened and pointed behind him. "This is your wand? I'll give to you?" His wand was in his hand with one quick flick of her own.

His eyebrows automatically shot up at her use of nonverbal spells. "Thanks," he tried swallowing but ended up coughing. He covered his mouth and performed the counter-hex, dropping to the floor with a grunt.

She rushed forward, looping her arm through his and helping him up to his feet. She laughed and dusted the dirt off his back while he stood paralyzed.

"Better, no?" she smiled, facing him a foot from his stiff figure. "I'm new seventh-year transfer... And you?"

For a moment his mouth opened but no words flew out, and then all at once words poured out as fast as if under a curse. "I'm - oh - yes you're from Beauxbaton, right? Yeah - er - yes, seventh-year as well."

Her hands flew up and she waved them in front of herself with a laugh. "Slow please!" she laughed again. "One more time?"

Severus gave an awkward laugh that matched hers and nodded. "I'm also a seventh-year."

"Oh!" she held out a paper and pointed down to the class he was late for. "I am so lost! You help me now? Oui?"

She smiled up at him and his heart nearly leaped out of his mouth. He nodded quickly, "Yes - er - oui, I'll help you... Actually, that's my class too..."

"Oh!" Her smile widened, "I need partner for the class! You have one?"

For once Severus thanked his unlucky past self. His time in the hospital wing all week meant everyone would be already partnered up. "No, I don't..." his face flushed red again and he cleared his throat, looking away. "We could be partners?"

"Bon! Lead the way, partner," she motioned for him to lead, keeping a very close pace next to him as they walked. "I am lucky to find you, did not know anyone yet. You are only third person met!"

He gave her a small smile as they walked together, but he knew it wouldn't take long for her to find out his status at the school. Being a new student, he was sure she’d make all the friends she could ever want by the end of the day. Then she'd reconsider her luck after everyone tells her all about her lab partner, 'Snivellus'.

~*~*~

They made it to class late. The professor looked up and frowned, ready to tell them off when Severus' new ‘friend’ spoke up.

"Excuse us, Professor, I am new and got lost."

The professor sighed and waved his hand, giving her a pass. "And I see you're back Mr. Snape. Get to your seats, you'll both be working together - get moving."

The two back seats were empty and Severus was glad to be away from the front for once. His new partner set down her things, and as she bent to pick up her books Severus caught a glimpse of Sirius Black glaring at him from the front, a seat behind where Severus had been sitting the last term. Black had anticipated his return and was obviously annoyed with the change in seating.

"What may I call you, Mr. Snape?" The new student whispered, giving him her full attention despite the lesson continuing.

"S-Severus." He looked around to make sure no one was paying attention to him. He'd die of embarrassment if they started teasing him in front of her for daring to open his mouth. "And you?"

She smiled. "Severus Snape? That's a beautiful name." She looked back up to make sure their conversation was still private and turned back. She reached up and gripped his tie, pulling him towards her. She leaned and held a hand to his ear, moving her lips inches from his ear. "(Y/n) (L/n)."

Severus’ heart beat faster than it ever had before. The immense drumming in his ears almost made it impossible to hear her whispers. When she released him, he turned to look at her, feeling his face heat up either from proximity or from her warm breath flowing over his face. "(Y/n)... Good to know." He swallowed and realized he had not moved since she had pulled him towards her. He would have felt like an idiot if she wasn’t looking at him so playfully.

"You gonna kiss her, Snivellus?"

Severus pulled back quickly and clenched his jaw at Black.

The professor smacked Sirius' head with a roll of parchment. "Mr. Black, disturb my class again and I'll assign you an essay for every night this week." Severus smirked. "And you, Mr. Snape," the Professor smacked the board, creating a puff of chalk, "- will hand me your notes tomorrow before class - legible notes, might I add."

Severus nodded as the class snickered and turned away from (Y/n). The rest of the lesson went by agonizingly slow. Severus counted the seconds until he could run away to the library, away from taunting eyes. He hated himself for turning so red, but he hated Black even more for making him the fool.

~*~*~

~*~*~

You could tell the boy, 'Mr. Black', had embarrassed Severus greatly. He was hunched over his parchment, focused completely on the professor's words, and never once looking back up at you.

You read the words on the board but soon your eyes ventured down to look at the tall lanky boy currently trying to visibly shrink in his seat. The moment shared between you both still played on your mind. He had beautiful long lashes and deep dark eyes to match. It had been fun to see him so flustered over you, but the guilt of what you'd caused sat heavily on your chest. That boy had noted Severus had been in the perfect position to kiss her, which... did she kind of wish he had?... Just to see - for just a curious taste.

You didn't know what specifically was so alluring about Severus, but you could imagine yourself wrapped in his arms, pulling on his long hair, biting his lips, and hearing that deep voice of his purring for more. Something about him - or maybe everything about him - made you wonder how gentle those hands of his could be.

The bells rang in the distance, marking the end of the lesson. You packed your things and sat waiting for Severus to do the same. He was slow at first and then after a quick flick of his eyes up to you hurried along.

You stood at the same time and motioned for the door, scrambling to translate your thoughts into English. "Lunch now? We can sit together?"

People filed out of the class, which Severus watched closely before turning back to her and answering. "Look, this isn't the only time… I'm not someone to hang out with unless you like hexes and spells to be thrown in your direction."

You could see the hurt in his eyes, the way his brows furrowed, and his down-turned eyes filled with tears that wouldn't fall. Before you could bring yourself to respond, he sighed shakily, giving you pause.

"It's not your fault... I'll show you down and then I suggest you forget about being friends." He pulled open the door and held it open for you without meeting your eyes.

What could you say to him? You stepped out into the corridor, contemplating how to phrase what you were thinking when laughter pulled your focus.

"I see you've met our Snivellus." The stupid boy, Black, came forward talking to you but keeping his attention on Severus. He had long curly hair nearly as long as Severus' and was taller, with proud shoulders held in a loose demeanor that still made him seem important in some way. His eyes shifted to you, "Hope he didn't drip any snot on you while he tried for a kiss."

You scoffed, “You do not understand what you saw. Please leave us alone.”

“Love, maybe you’re not understanding me. For your own safety I insist YOU leave this sniffling slime alone.” Black took a step closer.

Severus pulled out his wand but held it low, at the ready in an instant. "I’m done with your games. Unlike you, you nitwitted tower troll, I have places to be." He finally glanced your way, "Excuse me," and made to leave.

Black blocked his way, laughing at the now pointed wand in Severus’ hand. "Go ahead, I’ll be glad if you finally get expelled for using wands in the corridors. Mine's not even on me."

You eyed the smirk on his face and the tiny shift of his hand towards his trousers pocket. Was that a lie then? Whatever the case, you had enough of this game too. "My friend, Severus, is showing me to lunch. We are going now." You stepped between Severus and Black, giving the taller boy an annoyed look.

"I’m telling you, be careful," Black chuckled. "He might try to kiss you again if you’re too nice."

You paused and stepped back, looking up at Severus, whose eyes were fixed on Black, staring daggers into him. You bit your lip and chuckled the same way Black had, finding a different kind of amusement than him in this situation. "I hope he will."

Severus' head snapped to you, his cheeks slowly going a light shade of pink all over.

Black made a disgusted sound and a show of his fake nausea. “Darling, I don’t think I understood you correctly. Check your dictionary and if that’s not the problem maybe your eyes.”

This boy was really getting on your nerves now. If you’d been back at Beauxbaton you’d’ve already hexed him into a soggy pile of starter yeast, baked him into the perfect Pain au Levain, and chucked him out the tallest tower window. “Move it,” you made sure your French accent coated the word heavily.

Severus’ hand wrapped around your arm, pulling you back. He kept his wand and eyes trained on Black but spoke to you. “Go down to lunch. I’ll stay here to have the chat Black so desperately wants to have with me.” He looked up again, “Let her leave.”

Black smiled, “That’s fine. Been meaning to ask how your winter holiday was after I last saw you.”

You turned to Severus, ready to protest when the door to the classroom opened, cutting Black off. You all stood very still and awkward, hoping to hide the atmospheric hostility that had been created.

The Professor locked the door with a flick of his wand and looked at everyone with concern. "Off to lunch, no need wandering the corridors. Now." He ushered everyone down the stairs, walking close behind in equal silence.

You reached the floor second to last, after Black and then Severus, and pulled on Severus' arm the second your Professor had turned towards the staff room. You kept your hand on him to make sure he didn’t decide to leave before you could talk to him. Before Black could step towards you to continue the ���conversation’, other Gryffindor students pulled him towards a small crowd gathering across the floor. Whatever it was seemed to be of higher interest and he left with only single backwards glance.

You both watched him go dissolve into the rowdy group and suddenly the air around you shifted. Severus turned instantly, searching your eyes with an intensity you could almost feel. You blushed and slid your hand down his sleeve and lingered on his bare hand. Neither of you said a word but the electricity connecting your eyes and the comfortable silence that enveloped you both spoke volumes. "We could eat together, no?"

His eyes settled on your hand still on his until you let go. "Oui," he whispered with a smile pulling at his lips. “Lunch then.”

As you both walked on, he slowly crept closer with every step, making your shoulders brush against his arm. His pinky tickled the skin on your wrist, making you cough to hide a giggle as you entered the Great Hall. Your eyes flickered up at his and you smiled, seeing a gentle blush and an even gentler smile on his face.

~*~*~*~*~ *~

Masterlist

—-

General taglist:

@setsuna-meiou31

@severuslovebot

@bionic-otp

—–

[cuntess-carmilla]

hey thank you for your reply and im so sorry to hear about bruno. losing a pet is always a really tough situation. i hope you're feeling better now, i'm sending you good thoughts and well-wishes!

also i talked to my support person about the doctor's visit and she got righteously baffled and irritated at the doctor's behavior as well, so we're looking to book another doctor's appointment where she'll hopefully be accompanying me - it truly sucks that people have to have someone in their corner to advocate for them when it comes to doctors, but my support person told me she 100% believes me about how unwell i feel, and wants to get to the bottom of it, which is reassuring! thank you for all the information you're sharing and talking about your experiences. without you, i think i would've continued to simply accept the pains and aches and fatigue as a side-symptom of trauma, adhd and depression, but now ive got the confidence to keep journaling about my symptoms to hopefully get to the bottom of it and get the support i need to make my everyday life a little bit easier/more bearable, and stop feeling like i'm running against a wall with my mental health recovery bc right now it really much feels like a case of "the spirit is willing but the body is weak" lmao. anyway a little rambly but i appreciate you and i genuinely hope things get better for you soon.

(ps. congrats on the first kiss with tomboy!! reading your post about it made me smile really wide, your blogging about them is very sweet)

hey nausea anon again, i think i forgot to mention that in the last ask. sorry about that! also, i seem to have lost the fatigue severity scale and i remember you reblogging it. i tried to search your blog with keywords but i cant seem to find it, and google only gives me a really blurry one reposted to facebook. i just figured id ask if you happen to have it saved in a more legible quality. thanks again and no worries if you dont!

I'm so sorry I keep replying so late, my energies have been all over the place. :(

I am feeling better. I still miss the little boy but I'm happy we got to enjoy him in the very short life he was destined to have. Thank you so much.

I'm really glad that at least you have someone in your life who sees things as they are and validates you. It's always good to get that from anyone you can get but it's even more impactful when it comes from someone who knows you personally and is physically present to support you.

It never stops to make me feel happy and like I'm doing something of worth when my whining and ranting turns out to help someone, I appreciate it like you have no idea. <3 And thank you about the kiss thing! She's my girlfriend now and I'm so happy. I'm gonna give her flowers tomorrow.

Here's the fatigue, physical pain, and mental/emotional pain scales! I hope I'm not too late with handing them to you now.

[kimkymury]

Blue Rose Tears - Chapter 3

Hello everyone!

I’m back with the third chapter of my Carl x Pascal fanfiction. I hope you like it!

I would like to thanks @depressedoverdrawings​ for  reviewing the history and help fixing grammatical errors.

Warning:  Just a little warning, some characters have distorted views about sexuality, and those views do not represent what I think in real life. This was written on purpose to suit the environment and the time that the story takes place, since at that time people were more closed minded.

The Portuguese Version of this story is also Available on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/928977847-as-l%C3%A1grimas-da-rosa-azul-cap%C3%ADtulo-3

Under the cut! Enjoy the story.

Blue Rose Tears

Chapter 3

P.O.V Narrator

The whole situation was new to Carl, he had already talked to the scientists about psychology, but being one of his "patients" was new. Pascal held a clipboard and a pencil, he wrote quickly without worrying whether his handwriting was legible or not. After a few more minutes of silence, the redhead turns his attention to his friend.

"I will ask you a few questions, all of which are basead on my research and on reliable sources."  - The elder boy said, he seemed excited to help his friend.

The dark-haired boy nodded silently. It was the first time he had vented to someone like that, It felt like a consultation with a doctor. Carl hoped he would be "fixed", that after those series of questions, he would stop feeling things for Serge.

"First question, descibre in detal how you feel being around this person." - The redhead asks patiently, preparing to write down the answet that would come.

For a few moments, the religious boy thought about how he could verbalize the feeling he had for the pianist. He had never felt anything like it. It felt mote like an obssession, if he could call it that.

"When I am with this person, I feel happy and I want to be closer to them. I really admire that person, they are everything I am not and will never be." - He says, praying internally that all that would pass.

"Okay, can you tell me what it's like to know that this person doesn't love you back?" -  The eldest boy asks, carefully writing down every word his friend said.

Carl felt desolate, that was the perfect way to describe what he was feeling. It was like he was never going to be good enough to be with someone like Serge. He tries to turn his feelings into words, in a way that is easier to understand and at the same does not sound so desperate.

"I feel...horrible. It's like I'm drowning in a wave of guilt, every time I'm with this person, I need to pretend I don't feel anything." - The dark-haired boy answers the question as he lowers his head, his eyes were fixed on the floor.

Pascal was surprised by his friend's response, It was normal to be sad because he fell in love with someone who doesn't correspond his feelings, but there was no need to feel guilty about something he couldn't control. That was when he decided It was necessary to find out who Carl had fallen in love with.

"Why do you feel guilty about loving that person? I mean, you're not doing anything wrong." - The redhead looks at the friend who sat opposite him with a worred look.

He didn't want his best friend to get involved with someone who might hurt him.

The religious boy was silent, not knowing what to say. He couldn't belive tha he was feeling things for another man, It was too much for him.

"Do I know this person?" - Pascal asked, diverting Carl's attention from those bad thoughts, making him focus only on question.

"Yes, you know.." -  He replied, afraid of the possible reaction of the scientist to know who he was referring to.

"I see, is this person your friend?" -  The redhead asks while looking at the boy in front of him, It was as if he was analyzing him inside and out.

"Yes, they are..." - At this point, Carl just wanted to his friend to stop trying to find out who was the person and to come up with a solution right away, so his problems could be solved.

"Last question." - After the scientist said this, the religious boy was more relieved.

"Is this person called Serge Battour?" - Pascal said with the same naturalness that asked the other questions, that phrase shocked Carl.

The dark-haired boy went pale when he heard that, he didn't expect it to be so easy to find out who he was in love. His mind was littered with fears and worries about what would happen next.

Would Pascal remain my friend? Would Pascal continue to treat me the same way? Would Pascal tell Serge this? But the most important, Could Pascal find a way to heal me?

"How did you find out?" - Carl said startled, looking at the scientist. He expected an aggressive reaction from him, but he received the usual calm look.

"It was really easy, actually. I just needed to analyze what you said, compare it with your social cycle and see who else fit in. As you said that we both know and the person was your friend, I just thought and discard the options that didn't match." - Pascal replied calmly, taking another drag on his cigarette that was in one of his hands.

No matter how long they had know each other, the scientist always found a way to surprise him.

"Aren't you...disgusted?" - The youngest said confused, his reaction was of someone who had just heard the most normal thing in the world.

"Of couse not, I'm surprised you think I would react in that way. So many conversations we've had, I've already explained to you that same-sex love is a natural thing." -  The eldest replied while leaving the clipboard aside, noting was no longer necessary.

"But...this is wrong. If someone finds out I could end up being expelled from school, and if Serge finds out, he-" - Carl was saying before he was interrupted by his friend.

"He won't find out because none of us are going to tell him, and about school, chill out. If they expel you. it'll be for the best, if it weren't for the lab I woudn't be in this school full of people who are limited and have closed mind." - The redhead replied while lying back in the armchair.

" Pascal! I can't leave this place, I grew up here. You too spent a lot of your life here, would you leave if you had the chance?" - The religious boy spoke a little irritated by the friend's comment.

"Of course not, I am being ironic, Despite all the defects, I would not leave Lacombrade, I would miss you and the others." -  The scientist replied, being a little kinder than usual.

"I would miss you too...but that is not important now. I need you help, that's why I agreed to answer the question." -  The dark-haired boy said the beginning of the sentence in a lower tone, before changing the subject.

Demonstrations of affection weren't exacltly Carl's thing, he didn't know how to express his feelings for people, sometimes others thought he didn't care much. But when he wanted someone to know that they were special to him, he found a way to demonstrate.

~Flash from a Year Ago ~

When Carl was younger, until he was about thirteen, he was closer to his younger brother. They moved away because the older one was too busy with his studies and did not like to hang out with his brother's friends. But the love Carl felt for Sebastian never changed, even though they didn't spend much time together or argue from time to time, he always protected his brother On a normal day, Sebastian looked more downcast than usual. He was usually smiling and running around, but this time was different.

"What happened?" - The eldest says approacing his brother, who was surprised by his presence.

"Tomorrow is my birthday, I asked Rosemariné if I had received a letter, but he said no. Mom and Dad must have forgotten about me." -  Sebastian replied saldy, it broke Carl's heart to see the 8 year old boy like that.

"They haven't forgotten about you, there was probably a delay in the post office and the letter may arrive after your birthday. Don't be sad." - The dark-haired boy tried to comfort his brother, bending down when speaking to stay the same height as him.

"Sometimes, I miss them..." - The tears threatened to flow from the small dark eyes, but were prevented by the same.

"I miss them too, but don't be sad. Tomorrow is a special day, so you better be smiling!" - Carl tried to cheer up the sad boy, running his hand lightly through his hair.

The two said goodbye and followed different paths, Carl's intention was good, but he was not very good at showing what he felt. Sebastian thought about his parents' letter all day, forgetting about it only at bedtime. The following morning, he was eight years old. Upon waking uo early as usual, he gets up and looks at his table. What was on it surprised him: there was a note wrote in a very familiar calligraphy, along with a small miniature hare, carved from wood.

That made the smile, he excitedly opened the note and read in a low voice;

" Happy Birthday, Sebastian.    I hope you like the gift, I bought it when we went to Arles and I thought you would like it.   I know it's not like the toys that Mom and Dad could give you, but I think it can be a susbtitute while we´re here. As much as they don't show it, know that they love you, and so do I. Congratulations for your eight years. Your brother,                          Carl Messier."

If Sebastian had ever doubted whether he was loved by Carl, those doubst were gone. He smiled, not cating if he hadn't received a letter from his parents. He knew he was not alone, as he had his brother by his side."

~End of FlashBack ~

"Why do you want my help?" - Pascal said, taking his friend out of those memories.

"Well, because I did imagine that maybe you could heal me. Can't you do something to make me stop feeling this way?" - He replied seriously, showing his concern

The religious boy was surprised by a laugh, of all the hours that Pascal could laugh, this was the least suitable. Carl watched his friend with an incredulous look, he didn't know why the scientist was laughing so hard.

Had he said something funny?

" How do you want me to heal you if you are not sick? Carl, you are just in love, there is no reason to see this as a disease." - The eldest speaks composing himself, while drying the tears that flowed while laughing.

"Yes but, feelings these things for another man is wrong. In fact, I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore..." - He replies, worried as always.

"I already said and I will repeat, if you want to sleep with someone, just go and do it. Life is too short to worry about what society will think." - The redhead says still recovering from the laughter

"P-Pascal! I did not mention that I would like to do these things, that would be outrageous!" - The dark haired boy says as get up from his chair.

He hadn't been thinking about that, had he? Feelings things for Serge, wanting to be around him was one thing, but...sleeping with him? This thought made the religious boy red with shame, he was not used to having that kind of though.

Since he was a child, he was taught not to question and not to think about this type of thing, especially with other men. People around him taught him to leave that kind of thinking only after he got married.

Pascal, different from his friend, saw no problem in thinking, studying or even talking with other people about sex. For him it was a natural thing, he was delighted at how the human body was capable of generating life. The relationships between people of the same sex did not boher him either, he used to ask himself why they did this, since it did not lead to reproduction. But that changed when he discovered the relationship between Serge and Gilbert, he realized that the feeling of love was more important than biological factors.

"Well, forget about that. You  said you're confused what you feel, what exactly confuses you?" - Pascal asked, motioning for Carl to calm down and sit down again.

"I don't know exactly, maybe I just admire him a lot and I'm confusing things..." - The youngest replied, with his usual shy way.

The two were silent for a while, the scientist was thinking of some way to help his friend understand what he was feeling. The questions were useless, he knew he felt something for Serge, but he wasnt sure what it was. Until suddenly, the older boy had an idea: he wanted to find out if Carl was attracted to other boys, just so he could discover the kind of feeling he had for the pianist.

"There is a way to make you understand what you feel." - Pascal said, with a smile from someone who made a discovery.

"Whatever it is, I am accepting it, I can't take this feeling anymore." - The dark haired boy spoke, showing a little excitement.

Seing that his idea had a good reception, he continues with what he was doing:

"Sit in front of me." - He says, right after that Carl gets up from the chair and puts it in front of his friend, before sitting down again.

The two are close, with only a slight inclination their face would meet. Carl seemed a little apprehensive, he was not used to being so close to people, but the desire to find out what he was feeling was bigger than any fear.

"Let's do an observation experiment, the fuction of it is to relax your mind and let your subconscious guide you." - Pascal explains to his friend, carefully analyzing every trace of his face.

"And will it help me understand and get over what I'm feeling?" - The youngest question, curious about what comes next.

"Maybes yes or maybe not, it's very relative. What matters most is the moment itself and how you felt." - The scientist explains, reassuring his friend.

"Okay, I accept. What do I need to do?" - Carl asks, determined to continue with that.

"I'll explain, but first I have to ask you...Do you trust me?" - The redhead asks, with a serious expression, showing that he expected an exact answer.

Carl did not hesistate, he trusted Pascal more than anyone else, perhaps even more than Serge. The two boys have know each other for a long time, have always been honest with each other and never keep secrets from either of them. In all the bad times, the scientist was there to help him, and vice versa.

 The answer was obvious to Carl, he trusted his friend and knew that he would never do anything bad to him.

If I could choose from all the people in the world to know one of my secrets, It would obviously be you. The one who never judged me, even though I was wrong. The one who was by my side in difficult time.

"Yes, I trust you." - The religious boy replied, assuring the eldest that everything was fine.

CONTINUED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER

Written by KimKymury, thank you for reading <3

[gayasianminimalist]

Dear Future Deanna,

You are about to go off to college, and afterwards starting your great big life. Therefore you may never see this message future Deanna. But I won’t lose hope because maybe you’ll have this with you without knowing it. Anyways, good luck in college, hope you make the most of it because you only get once chance in college. Make good choices, but at the same time take some risks or else you will forever regret not being bold. It’s okay if you make any mistakes because I’m sure you’ll learn from them and become better. And another thing future Deanna, live in the moment and don’t think too far ahead.

-Deanna Wong   June 1, 2015

Dear past Deanna,

Well 2 years later I managed to find this mini notebook and see what I wrote to myself awhile back. Past Deanna, I have certainly made some mistakes and done things I couldn’t imagine myself doing 2 years ago! I have met some of the most important people in my life these past couple years, especially this past school year. I hit the gym pretty often which is a very necessary thing in my life but I don’t exactly have access to a gym at the moment. I’ll make do this summer with @ home exercises and probably running in the mornings hopefully starting tomorrow. I  kind of hit a big wall at the end of my 1st year at UCSD, I failed 2 classes and passed with a B and I’m waiting to take the other class still. My gpa definitely tanked but now I have above a 3.0 again which is my goal gpa to maintain for the rest of my years here. I see my handwriting hasn’t changed too much so I’ve reached my max as far as writing legibility. I’m cleaning out my desk right now and there are definitely a lot of old Deanna history hidden in these drawings. Hmm so I’ve left my college journal at school, but I only wrote in it probably twice this whole school year. Way to keep record of what’s happening. So something that has definitely changed my life was starting my rave life. EDM really has had an impact on me and I decided to give ecstasy a go. It is quite the euphoria, but in great moderation. Gave me the happiest feeling in the world. I’m so glad my friends have been gracious enough to let me have this experience. So I’m not saying drugs are good, but they’re sure really fun. This past spring quarter I tried shrooms and that trip definitely gave me one of the weirdest days of my life. Everything just felt sort of off, but I saw everything a bit differently visually. And then more often than not I had those nights of being drunk, stoned, or crossed af. Like I knocked out pretty hard on some nights. Next year I definitely need some self control over these type of nights. IDK if my body can handle such tough treatment anymore. Anyways I joined a frat, and now I have 2 littles in my frat. They’re super cool but I need to find a way to connect all of us next year because they’re kinda polar opposites. I don’t wanna think about this too hard though so I’ll just continue on this much needed spheal. Also an update on my love life: non-existent. I’ve been single for a solid 20 years since I’ve been alive. Also I’m 20 what... how dis happen. Going off on a tangent, I think I have found that photos are very important to me. All the memories I have captured, I can’t even begin with how blessed I feel forever with such great memories. I would say my second year of college was definitely better than my first year. I wanna stop here past Deanna since I’ve given you the gist of my college thus far. Now to write to future Deanna again.

-Deanna Wong    July 12, 2017

Dear Future Deanna, 

So what past Deanna said, keep living in the moment, take lots of pictures, and make more new friends, but remember to keep your old ones. Maybe try dating someone before the end of college, or not but you need a person in your life I think, or maybe I’m wrong and it’s better that you’re independent all through college. Whatever happens, happens. Also keep living your healthy life, go gym, hike, eat right, and so on. And don’t feel so bad on not so good days, stress eating gets to everyone. Try to say no to people, you can’t be influenced all the time. Otherwise you’ll never learn to have things your way. You can be helpful to people too, but sometimes you should make sure you get your own shit together first. I think you have all the tools needed to succeed in the rest of college and life, so make your choices wisely.

-Deanna Wong   July 13, 2017

Dear past Deanna, 

I think I’ve gotten college life down, better than my first 2 years for sure. I still am making mistakes though, kind of had some bad incidents as far as my behavior record with UCSD, but on my way to fixing that. Nothing that’ll put me on hold for graduating, I just have to deal with business and this should all be over next quarter. Long story short I passed out at an on campus event and I have some consequences to deal with but it’s all on me, I have to fix things. On the bright side, everything in my academics are right again. Above a 3.0 and I am on track to graduate by next spring. It’s really hard to write into this tiny notebook. I’m writing very intensely I’m sweating a little. It’s also not the coolest temperature. Sacramento brings the heat. In terms of my social/party life, this past year of college, and within the last quarter, has exceeded my first 2 years. Well part of the reason has been because I turned 21 this year. Legal drinking is a whole new game. You would think I can control myself at this point, but I still can’t some nights. I’ve definitely opted out of drinking a lot more this year. Self-control is getting better. A lot of seniors I grew close to this year are graduated now. It makes me really sad but I need to learn to get through this year without them. They are all going on their own paths for the future, and I wish them all the best and to visit me next year! My love life got a little bit spicier this year, but nothing drastic happened where I need to announce it. Still no girlfriend and I really want to have one more and more. Still actively using dating apps. Well just more recently since its summer now and I don’t have much else to do. Just trying to recharge myself mentally. I think a lot of things that happened this year has given me a bit of a mental drain. I think i actually like attention but I may have gotten more than I need for a year. My 21st birthday is the most extra day I’ve had in my life. Everything was funny, everyone was dressed up, and there were a lot of gifts. The best thing was all my friends being there just to celebrate my friend Nat and I turning on year older. Like it shouldn’t be that huge of a deal, but it became a big deal just because we wanted it to be. This really should be more of advice for future me like the 2 past me’s, so I’m gonna do that instead of blabbing about my life. i’m supposed to do that somewhere else. Alright it’s there, peace past me.

-Deanna Wong   July 5, 2018

Dear Future Deanna,

Not sure what to say. Well if past Deanna has been able to accomplish all she has up to now, future Deanna can keep up this level of excelling life plus more. You’re literally about to enter the actual adult world after this year. You need to figure out your plan even if you don’t want to. You gotta make moves to get where you want. Such as staying home or moving out as soon as possible. Get a woman, it’s time to be more proactive about your love life because if you don’t make moves, no one’s gonna do it for you. Maybe tell people how you actually feel if you feel for them. Still have to take risks. I don’t think past Deanna has taken any REAL risks. Like a risk that makes you sweat and super anxious beforehand but could be very worth it. But you’ve always had a logical side, so maybe listen to it if it’ll make your life better in the long run. I’ll continue later but I have to eat first. You are your own grown ass adult now, speak up for what you want. You can’t let other people dictate your outcome of situations. Take control of you situation. Take control of your situation. Be a good friend. You’ve gotten better at it by leaps and bounds, but there’s always room for self-improvement. Be appreciative of how far you’ve come. Don’t beat yourself too much, you still tend to do this from time to time. Take your own advices? I don’t think you’ve had to apply this yet, but you could try giving yourself a few pointers. Keep yourself tidy. Clean your room more often when you’re at school. Things pile up, and a cleaner space tends to give you a clearer mind. Keep in touch with those you don’t see as often. You tend to spend all your time with one group of people instead of reaching out more. This is why you don’t see some people enough. Develop this skill now and it’ll translate in the future. I think I’ll keep it to this for now, you’ll gain more wisdom as you endeavor into your final months at UCSD. Stay lit, stay safe, and be you. :)

-Deanna Wong   7/30/18

This is just some back and forth between myself that I had for the first 3 years of my college life. I’ll save my last year for another post. I feel like between each year I had some improvements, but a lot of the stupid stuff I did more or less are from all my non-sober nights in college. It’s kind of the same thing over and over but just with different people and different circumstances. Looking back at everything now, I’ve really become a lot more of a stable person. I don’t regret a single moment of undergrad. Although I find it really strange I felt like I needed to have a girlfriend at some point. I honestly with so occupied with my own life that I really did not need to add someone else to the equation. And even now I’m still kind of ok with my independence, maybe a bit too ok with my independence. I think honestly the right person will just come at the right time. I really think I need to give the meeting someone in the real world a shot. Well not now since California is in a lockdown but after this pans over I’ll try to go out there and find the love of my life. 

Stay safe out there y’all and don’t go spreading too many germs. I’m out gonna be raving in my house haha.

[all-hail-the-witcher]

“It hurt me being away from you” for your favorite ship bc I can’t think of one 😬

alright so this is totally inspired by 1. Julian blackthorns ramblings about love, as seen in the above quote and the rest of the quote that I decided to use in this 2. An episode of signed sealed delivered and 3. a movie I watched last night on Netflix called the guernsey literary and potato peel pie society, which was really good, it had strong women and a brief mention of gay people but it was post ww2 and had some war flashbacks so don’t watch if you don’t like that stuff

also this is not modern era but it’s also not canon era, idk, it takes place in a time period that’s not now but when type writers still existed and people traveled using wagons. so it could be 1899, who knows

race and friends live in a small town in maine where they are all farmers. Albert is an author. They are together

___________

ship: ralbert

genre: very soft angst

word count: 4771 wowe

warnings: long distance relationships and the flu

editing: ah no

___________

Albert Dasilva gazed out the window of the fifth avenue apartment he was staying in. He had a wonderful view of Central Park. It was November, and he could see the people below him on the street walking briskly in their jackets and scarves as street vendors called out to them. It was beautiful, it really was. But it wasn’t home.

He turned away from the window and back to his desk. Normally he would type his letters on his typewriter, but Race had once told him he preferred handwritten ones because it gave him a piece of him to hold onto while he was away.

My dearest Antonio, he wrote, the nib of his pen gliding smoothly across the creamy paper. I miss you. I wish you could be here with me in the city. It’s absolutely beautiful at night. The street lamps come on and the lights from the stores and the apartment buildings light up the night sky. It is beautiful and glistening and magical. Almost like the stars back home. Except, nothing can compare to those. But for now, I shall have to make do with the stars of New York City.

The publishing company here is decent. I was matched with a man named David Jacobs who is to be my agent. He is very nice. The company loves my work, but insists that I write at least one novel while I’m here. I have a few ideas so far, but none of them seem quite right.

I have also met another author of the same publishing company named Katherine Plumber. She and I have gotten on quite well. Tomorrow she’s taking me through Central Park to “gather inspiration” as she calls it.

How are you? I hope you don’t miss me too terribly. I’ll be home soon. Six months is barely any time at all, especially when each day I live here brings me closer to you. Don’t forget to feed the animals. And don’t forget to eat. I told Jack to check in on you every now and then to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. So, please don’t kill him.

I love you and I miss you.

Yours always,

Albert Dasilva

Albert folded the note carefully and placed it into an envelope. He addressed it and sealed it with a kiss before climbing into bed. He would mail it tomorrow.

•••

It had been about a month since Albert had departed for New York when the first letter had arrived.

As always, Race stopped in the post office just before making the trek home from town. He had just stepped inside and was rubbing his hands together to warm them - Maine winters were harsh - when Finch called out to him from behind the counter.

“Ah, Racer!” He called. “I’ve got a letter for you!”

Race ran over to the counter, he could hardly believe it. “Really? Is it from New York?” His heart began to pound. Could he finally be hearing from Albert?

“Yes, it’s from Albert,” Finch said, winking at him as he handed him the letter.

Race checked the return address. It was from New York, and it was written in Albert’s unmistakable elegant handwriting. Hungrily, he tore off the envelope.

His eyes ran back and forth along the letter three times, soaking in Albert’s much awaited words, a smile forming on his lips. After all of the words were ingrained in his memory he looked up at Finch.

“Do you have-”

“Yes,” Finch cut him off, handing him a sheet of rough paper and a pen.

Race smiled back at Finch before hunching over the counter to write his letter.

Dear Albert, he scribbled awkwardly in barely legible writing. I am very happy to hear from you. New York sounds wonderful, I hope that you might take me to see it one day. Especially the “stars.” I am also very glad that you like the publishing company and your agent. I hope to meet him and Katherine one day and thank them for looking out for you in that big city. For you book, might I suggest: “how to survive in New York City” or “I miss my boyfriend very much and wish I was home with him.”

Jack has stopped by on several occasions - pretty much every other day, actually. Didn’t you tell him I can take care of myself? And yes, I have remembered to feed the animals. Although, they seem to like you better because most of them, especially your horse, have been quite, oh what’s that big fancy word that you use all the time? Ah yes, temperamental. And I have been taking care of myself as well, there’s no need to worry about me. Jack has insisted that I eat dinner with him on Fridays and all the rest of our friends have taken to stopping by the house several times a week to check on me. I don’t really know why, I am quite capable of surviving without you.

Albie, everyone here is incredibly proud of you, especially me. I can still hardly believe that you were picked up by a publishing company, especially a New York one. We all knew you were a great writer, but this is fantastic. I am so proud of you for going and making a name for yourself. Try some of those roasted chestnuts you get at the street carts for me, okay? Merry Christmas, Albie. (Well I suppose it’ll be much after Christmas by the time you get this, but Merry Christmas all the same)

Come home safe to me.

All the love and then some,

Antonio Higgins

“Here, Finch,” Race said, handing the envelope over to him. “Can you mail this for me?”

“Right away, Racer,” Finch said. “So, how is Albert?”

Races face lit up. “He’s good. He got set up with an agent at the publishing company and he made a friend with another author. He says he misses us, though.”

“Well, I’m glad he’s having a good time,” Finch said, offering Race a smile. “You get home safe now, it looks like snow and we don’t need you trapped in a storm and frozen to death before Albert comes home.”

“Will do,” Race said, giving a mock salute. As he opened the door he coughed into his sleeve. Hm, must have swallowed some dust, he thought before making the long trek back to his and Albert’s farm.

•••

It was mid January when Albert walked into his apartment building with Katherine, the two of them laughing hysterically.

“Mr. Dasilva, pardon me, but there’s a letter for you,” the concierge apologized, handing Albert an envelope.

“Thank you, sir,” Albert said, turning it over to read the return address. Maine. A smile stretched across his lips. Race. Hastily, he ripped open the envelope.

“Who’s it from?” Katherine asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Race,” he said, pulling out the letter and squinting at his boyfriend’s terrible handwriting.

“Oh yes,” Katherine smiled. “The one you won’t shut up about.”

Albert elbowed her in the ribs. “Oh shut up, I’m not that bad,” he mumbled, his eyes scanning Races words as they made their way upstairs to his apartment. He let out a laugh. “He wants me to call my novel ‘how to survive in New York City’.”

“Seems fitting,” Katherine said, as Albert paused to unlock his door. “What else did he say?”

“Everyone at home is very proud of me,” he read a few more lines. “And Merry Belated Christmas, and that he misses me.”

“Well, at least you have someone to go back home to,” Katherine said. “My father kicked me out for wanting to pursue writing.”

Albert looked up from the letter. “Katherine, that’s terrible.” Then his face lit up with an idea. “Why don’t you come home with me? I’m sure my friends would love to meet you. Race does, anyway. We’re a fairly large group, I’m sure you’ll find your place.”

“Well, Katherine said from her place on the couch, a small smile forming on her lips, “as long as I’m not inconveniencing anyone, I would love to go home with you.”

“Fantastic,” Albert smiled. “I’ll tell Race.”

My dearest Antonio, he wrote quickly. It’s wonderful to hear from you. Thank you for the Christmas wishes. Katherine and I spent Christmas here at my apartment drinking hot chocolate and writing. It was fun, but I’m sure you all had a better time at Jack’s place. I’m sure I want to know what kind of mischief you all got up to. And yes, I have eaten some street cart chestnuts. They’re surprisingly pretty good. As for your book title recommendations, they are good, but I have decided to call it “The Art Of Missing Someone”. I think you can guess who it’s about.

Have you gotten any snow this season? We have here, but not nearly as much as back home. Still, it was fun to watch the kids play in Central Park, reminded me of you.

Katherine took me up to the top of the Empire State Building a few nights ago. It was beautiful. I have never been so high up nor known that buildings could be that beautiful. Nothing beats our mountain view, of course.

Oh, speaking of Katherine, she’s told me that her father kicked her out years ago, so I offered that she come back with me to Maine in May. I think you all will love her and I’m fairly certain there’s a house still for sale in town if she wants to stay.

I know that Jack can be incessant sometimes, but I asked him to look after you for a reason, so please don’t annoy him. I look forward to seeing you again in the coming months. I’ll be home before you know it. Tell the fellows hello for me.

I love you and I miss you.

Yours always,

Albert Dasilva.

Albert put the letter in an envelope, addressed it, and set it on his desk. He’d mail it in a few hours after Katherine left.

•••

It was the end of February when Race got sick. Jack had brought him to his house and had him sleeping in a bed he had set up near the stove to keep him warm. Usually when Jack went out he would get one of the others to come by and sit with Race in case something happened. However, no one was around today and Jack was expecting a package so he left Race on his bed with strict instructions not to move unless the house was burning down and said he would be back in a few hours.

Jack had already been out for a few hours and Race was beginning to get worried. He could just see out the kitchen window without moving and he was fairly certain it had started to snow again. But, all Race did was snuggle deeper into his blanket. Jack had told him not to move and for once he was abiding what he was told.

It wasn’t like he had the strength to go out and look for Jack anyway. At present, he could only walk about three feet before collapsing. And, despite Jack's best efforts, he had lost weight. Jack was convinced he had the flu, as did most of their friends. They all said he would be fine in a few weeks but Race wasn’t too sure. Maybe he would get better faster if Albert were here.

Just then, the door blew open with a blast of cold air. Race pulled the blanket over his head so he wouldn’t freeze. There were noises that sounded like jack taking off his boots and coat.

“Racer?” He called out.

“Mmphhh,” Race groaned from under the blanket.

Jack laughed, sitting down on the side of his bed, and pulling the covers off his face. “How are you feeling, buddy?”

“Bad,” Race mumbled before bursting into a fit of coughing.

Jack frowned, pulling Race up into a seated position and rubbing his back.

After the coughing had subsided, he pulled away from Jack with tears in his eyes. “I miss Albie,” he whispered, pressing his face into Jacks shoulder. It wasn’t the same. Jack smelled different and his presence didn’t offer the same comfort as Albert’s.

“I know you do,” Jack said comfortingly. “Which is why I think you’ll be quite pleased to know that there was something for you at the post office.” He smiled, drawing a slightly battered envelope out of his breast pocket.

Race eagerly snatched the envelope and ripped it open with his shaking hands. After a few seconds he was staring at the familiar loopy handwriting, a sense of comfort washing over him.

After reading the letter several times he looked up at Jack. “Do you have any paper?” He asked hopefully, feeling better for the first time all week.

“Yeah, let’s just get you over to the table, okay?” Jack moved to help Race up, but he waved him off.

“I can do it,” he insisted as he pushed himself up. It took longer than necessary, but Race did manage to get over to the table and sit down without Jacks help. Maybe the prospect of communicating with Albert had given him an extra burst of strength. Hastily, he grabbed the paper and pen that Jack presented him with and began to write, trying extra hard to make his shaking hands write legibly.

Albie, he began. I miss you so so so much. It’s really hard to be here without you. But, I’m glad you’re having fun in the city. I’m excited that Katherine wants to come home with you, I think she will very much enjoy our friends, maybe we can hook her up with Jack as a thank you for him taking care of me.

We have gotten lots of snow. In fact, it’s snowing right now. I can’t really enjoy it though because I’m sick. Don’t worry about me, though. I’m fine. I’m staying with Jack for a few weeks until I get better and all the fellows have taken turns sitting with me while he goes out. They all say it’s the flu and that I’ll be fine in a few weeks. But I’m fine. I’ve just been sleeping a lot. Being sick also makes me miss you more. I can’t wait for you to come home. We’re halfway there.

I love the title of your book by the way. But make sure it’s not too sad, you don’t want your readers to cry while they’re reading it. I’m sure it’s going to be amazing, everything that you write is.

Try not to worry about me too much, okay? I’ll be fine, I promise.

All the love and then some,

Tony

“Here Jack,” he said, handing the finished letter to him. “Can you mail this tomorrow?”

“Of course, Racer,” Jack said, tucking the letter into his pocket. “I’m going to make some dinner, is that okay?”

“Yeah, I’m actually kind of hungry.” The last few days Race had just pushed his food around on his plate without really eating and he knew that Jack was worried about his lack of food intake, but he blamed it on the fact that he was sick.

As Jack began to start dinner, Race sat at the table and daydreamed about Albert.

•••

The next time Albert received a letter from Race it was mid March. Spring had sprung in the city and the trees in Central Park were budding.

Albert had picked up his mail and at first was elated to find a letter from Maine, but when he got to his apartment and took a closer look at the letter he noticed that it was not addressed in Races slanted and hard to read handwriting.

He ripped open the envelope, a pit forming in his stomach. Had something happened to Race? Inside the envelope there were two pieces of paper, one written in handwriting that wasn’t Races and one that was. He decided to read the one not written by Race first, hoping that it would calm his nerves.

Hey Albert, it’s Jack, the letter read. I didn’t read what Race wrote to you, I’m not about to invade your privacy and read your secret scandalous romance letters, so I don’t know if he mentioned this or to what extent, but Race is really sick.

Albert looked up from the letter. Race was sick? Was he going to be okay? Albert mentally slapped himself for not being there for him before going back to the letter.

We think he has the flu, the letter continued. I’m keeping him at my place until he’s better. He’s not in danger of dying or anything, so don’t worry about that. But we’re all in agreement that half the problem is the fact that he misses you. We’re all trying our best, we really are, but there’s only so much we can do. So maybe be a little more sappy than usual in your next letter? I don’t know. But we’re all taking good care of him, don’t worry.

Jack

Albert threw Jacks letter aside and quickly read Races. Sure enough, his handwriting was shaky and more messy than usual. And he sounded sad. Hastily, Albert pulled out a piece of stationary and began to write.

My dearest Antonio, he scrawled. I am so sorry you’re not feeling well. I wish I could be there with you right now, I really do. It hurts me to think about you, sick and suffering, so many miles away. Just make sure you’re eating food and drinking water and sleeping enough. As soon as I get back, I promise I’ll lay in bed with you all day and we can cuddle. How does that sound?

My book is almost done, I just have to revise a few more chapters and then give it to Davey for publishing. It’ll be for sale sometime in the fall. I am very excited. Don’t worry, I didn’t make it too sad. And I have a copy of the manuscript that I’m going to bring home so you can read it. I can’t wait to see what you think.

I am realizing that this is probably going to be my last letter to you as it won’t get to you until sometime in early April and I leave to come home on May 14th. There is, however, enough time for you to send me one more if you would like. It should reach me before I leave and I would like an update about your health before I leave the city.

Get lots of rest for me. Also there’s a few shirts of mine that I left at the house in the bottom left drawer in our bedroom if you would like to wear them. I do not mind. Maybe if you put one on it’ll be almost like having me there. I’ll be home before you know it.

I love you and I miss you

Yours always,

Albert Dasilva

Albert quickly addressed an envelope, pressed a stamp onto it, and ran downstairs to the concierge. He needed to post it as quickly as possible.

•••

It was now mid April. One more month until Albert was scheduled to come home. Race had since mostly recovered from his bought of sickness, but Jack had only allowed him to return home a week and a half ago, and only because he was driving him crazy.

Since returning home, Race had returned to his daily trips to the post office to check for letters from Albert. All of his friends disapproved, but we’re at least slightly relieved that he was taking Albert’s horse into town instead of walking. Race didn’t tell them that this was because he couldn’t walk for more than 5 minutes, let alone three miles, without getting winded, but he supposed that they knew that. They had all treated him as if he were made of glass ever since he had gotten sick. Race knew he was definitely skinnier now than he had been when Albert was still here, and so what if he got winded easily? He was fine.

He tied up Albert’s horse and pushed open the door to the post office. “Heya Finch,” he said, offering his friend a smile. “Anything from New York?”

Finch gave Race a disapproving look. “Racer, you gotta stop coming out here every day. We don’t need you collapsing on a back road somewhere.”

Race rolled his eyes. “Finch, I’m fine. Have been for weeks. Now, is there anything for me?”

Finch wordlessly handed him a creamy envelope, which Race tore open in record speed. He read the words on the page gratefully, a sense of calm and comfort washing over him, almost as if Albert were there himself.

After reading the letter through twice he looked up at Finch to ask for paper and a pen, but saw he had already placed some on the counter. Race smiled and set to work.

Dear Albert, he wrote. There’s no need to sound so worried about me, I told you I’m fine. I’m not even sick anymore. Jack let me go home last week. Of course, he still comes over and checks on me everyday and brings me food. But I’m much better now. I’ve been riding your horse into town everyday and I’m also getting plenty of sleep.

I’m so excited to read your book! It sounds wonderful! I can’t believe my own boyfriend is going to be a published author! When you get home I’m throwing a party in celebration. You’re going to famous! And we can all say we knew you when you were just little Albert Dasilva, farm boy extraordinaire.

Only one more month until you’re home, I can’t believe it. The last five months seem both very short and very long at the same time. I can’t wait to hold you again. I’ve missed you terribly. It’s going to be such a relief to have you home. I may take you up on borrowing those shirts, by the way.

Have a safe trip home

All the love and then some,

Antonio Higgins.

Race scribbled the address on the envelope and handed it off to Finch. Then he hopped on Albert’s horse and galloped home with a renewed sense of energy. Plus, he had a shirt of Albert’s waiting for him at home.

•••

Two days before Albert was to leave the city, the letter from Race arrived. The concierge actually delivered it to his room when it got there, since Albert had been checking three times a day for a week to see if it had arrived.

“Thank you, sir,” Albert said, accepting the letter.

“You’re welcome, Mr. Dasilva,” the concierge said, tipping his hat. “That must be one great girl you’ve got back home.”

Albert gave him a smile as he shut the door. “Yeah, something like that.” Then he flooped on the bed, ripping open the envelope, which he was relieved to see was in Races handwriting, not Jacks.

After reading the letter through three times, Albert tucked it into the pocket of his pants. He was still worried about Race, he had a feeling that he wasn’t as fine as he let on. But, he would be seeing him next week. That was a crazy thought. After six months in the city, he would finally be going home. Home to Race, and their little farm, and all their friends, and home cooked meals and mountain air. He could hardly wait.

•••

It was the night of May 23rd. Race had gotten home a few hours before from a long day of sitting in town waiting patiently for Albert’s arrival. He didn’t precisely know when that would be, but he did know it took about a week to get from New York to Maine and it had been just over a week.

Finch has sent him back home around 8, telling him to eat something and get some sleep. Race did go home, but he had yet to do either of those things. He just sat in one of Albert’s old shirts curled up in the old wing chair and listened to the sounds of the night. Albert could be home any minute and he wanted to be awake for it.

He was beginning to doze off when he heard the rattling of wagon wheels outside. He jumped up and ran to the door. Could it be?

Hesitantly, he opened the door and squealed with delight when he saw Albert’s familiar red hair gleaming in the moonlight. He was out the door in a flash, feet pounding on the gravel, moving faster than he had in months. “Albert!” He called.

Albert paused from unloading his luggage, dropped his suitcase on the ground and ran toward Race. They collided halfway between the house and the wagon in a bone crushing embrace.

“Oh Antonio,” Albert whispered into Races hair, holding him as if he let go he would disappear. “It’s so good to see you again.”

Race pulled away slightly from Albert’s tight embrace. “Oh shut up and kiss me.”

“If you insist,” Albert smirked, which earned an eye roll from Race before crashing his lips hungrily into his boyfriend’s.

Race kissed Albert with all the hope, passion and desire of someone that had been without their other half for six months. Time stood still as his mouth connected with Albert’s. His hands reached around Albert’s neck and one of them knotted in his hair. Oh how he missed this. It was almost as if being with Albert made him a whole person again, instead of the shell of a person he had been while he was gone.

After Albert disconnected his lips from Races, Race leaned his head on Albert’s shoulder, breathing in his familiar scent of the outdoors. “I missed you,” he whispered, a few tears escaping his eyes.

“I missed you too,” Albert murmured, planting a kiss in Races hair. His hands ran up and down Races back.

They stood, bodies pressed together, in the dark for several long minutes. The only sounds around them were the crickets chirping.

After awhile, Albert pulled back. “Help me grab my stuff and we can go inside, okay?”

Race nodded slightly, acutely aware of the fact that he was far less strong than when Albert had last seen him. The combination of flu and missing his other half had really taken a toll on him. But, he was wearing one of Albert’s big shirts, so maybe he wouldn’t notice.

No such luck. As soon as they were in the kitchen, Albert turned on one of the lamp lights and turned to look at his boyfriend, a look of surprise plastered on his face. “Race, baby, what happened to you?” He asked, moving closer and engulfing him in a hug.

“What do you mean?” Race said into Albert’s shirt sleeve. He didn’t know what Albert was talking about. He didn’t see a too skinny, overly tired, underfed, frail boy in too big clothes when he looked in the mirror, which is what Albert saw, he just say himself.

“You look terrible,” Albert said softly, stroking Races hair. “How long were you sick for?”

“I don’t know, only a couple of weeks,” Race mumbled. “I mostly just missed you. That’s why everyone thinks I never really recovered, at least, that’s what I’ve heard them say.”

Albert pulled Race closer to him. “See, this is what I was worried about,” he said, pressing his lips into Races hair. Tears formed at the corners of his eyes. He had done this, he was the reason why Race was so unhealthy looking.

“It hurt me, being away from you,” Race gasped, pulling away and turning his big, tearfilled blue eyes up to look at Albert. “It feels like there’s a hook dug in under my ribs and there’s something pulling at the other end. Like I’m tethered to you no matter the distance.”

Albert gave him a soft smile before picking Race up and carrying him into their room. “And I’m supposed to be the poetic one.”

He set race down on the bed and pulled off his shoes before putting on some pajamas. The two of them crawled under the covers, Race tucked safely into Albert’s chest.

Albert stayed awake until Race had fallen asleep. He pressed a kiss to his forehead before wrapping his arms around him tightly. “I’m never leaving you again,” he whispered before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

______________

awwww theyre so cute

thanks fizz for the limited help and brief idea

I’m actually kinda proud of this, one of my favorites by far sorry it took so long to get out

feedback is always appreciated hmu via ask to be on the tag list

tag list

@fairly-awkward-trashcan

@well-the-kids-do-too

@racetrackcook

@bouncyscreamingnewsboys

@ughwaitwhat

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@ben-cook-can-cook

@the-woild-is-my-what-now

@elmer-s-s0cks

@voice-foundshoe-lost

@galaxy-trees13

@stopthe-presses

@ridin-in-style

@pinecovewoods

@imjusttheoutgoingsidekick

@i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing

@bencookisagod

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen

@hellasoulless

@stellar-alpaca

@smolcanadiangirl

@saxoph-ella

@disney-princess-sized

[obscurelyscandinavian]

Study Hard, Do Well

Fandom: Pokémon Genre: Friendship/Fluff-ish Pairing: Burnet/Kukui Rating: All-Ages

Summary: It all started with a dare. A dare that lead to a growing closeness between two aspiring professors. Takes place during the course of Burnet and Kukui’s PhD studies. They don’t have canon first names, so I made ones up.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Burnet waved at her friend as he ambled into the cafeteria space. “How was your class?” “Why don’t you tell me,” Kukui accused lightheartedly. “I spent half the class trying to figure out why the students were pointing at me and snickering behind their hands, until one brave soul piped up and drew my attention to your masterpiece here.” He gestured to her penmanship, still boldly legible across his chest. She gasped so hard she nearly choked, and burst into a fit of laughter. “I never expected you to make it that far without noticing! I thought for sure you’d notice it right away, and get rid of it before then.” “IT’S PERMANENT INK, NICOLA!” The frantic expression on his face only made her laugh harder, and she grabbed his shoulder for support as the other arm gripped her stomach. “Do you never… look in… a mirror?” she finally managed to choke out. Kukui pouted at her. “No, I just pulled my hair back, and went to class. Look, can we just grab some food? I’m more than a little famished.” They ended up getting burgers, with a large fries to split, and sodas. “What did you tell them it was?” Burnet asked, nibbling on a fry. The dark haired man’s mouth twisted into a smirk,“I told them I lost a bet to a cute physicist last night, and she had her way with me.” She sucked in a breath, and aspirated some partially digested potato. After a couple tense minutes of the ‘cute physicist’ red-faced and hacking, she managed to dislodge the food particles, and gave her tormentor a sulky look. “Was it something I said?” he teased. “That isn’t actually what you said, is it?” “Of course not,” he said. “I told them I was studying with a friend and she pulled this after I crashed.” “You!” she huffed, turning slightly pink in the cheeks. “I was gonna tell you how to get it off, but now I’m not sure I want to.” “Awww, c’mon,” he pleaded. “Aren’t I allowed a little fun?” He gave her his best Baby Doll Eyes, and she laughed. “Oh, alright,” Burnet relented. “You better be careful, though. Keep throwing looks like that and someone might mistake you for a Pokémon.” She nearly ruffled his hair, but decided that would be inappropriate, and stopped with her hand hovering in the air halfway between them. “You do own shaving cream, correct?” He nodded in assent. “Spread a thin layer of that over the marker, lather, and then wash it off with warm water.” “That’s it?” he asked, nonplussed. “That should be all there is to it,” she confirmed, sipping on her soda. “Well, alright. That should be plenty easy to take care of.” Kukui gave her another of those dazzling grins that made her feel a little like one of those Slugma cakes with the melted centers. The rest of their meal was passed with easy banter, and when their dish of fries got low, he challenged her to a french fry duel. “How exactly does one duel with french fries?” queried Burnet. “In much the same way a Pawniard goes after its opponents. Like so!” Kukui twisted the fry around in his hand, like he was fighting off very small, invisible opponents. “Think you get the idea?” She laughed and nodded. “What’s the prize for winning?” “The rest of the fries, of course.” “Of course. How silly of me.” Burnet put in a valiant effort, but it was her challenger that took the prize. “You are a man of many hidden talents, Arnold Kukui,” she mused, as he munched on his spoils. “Even if staying up all night isn’t one of them.” He chuckled, dabbing ketchup on her nose with his last fry. “Sore loser. Are we meeting same time tomorrow?” The fair-haired scientist snapped at the morsel in his hand, just narrowly missing snatching it out of the air with her mouth. “Can we meet an hour later tomorrow? I have a lab to run that doesn’t get out until then.” “Can’t do later tomorrow. I’ve got a 2-hour kinetics lab, followed by a lecture on bio-rhythms, followed by my part time job. Any chance we could make it earlier?” She winced apologetically, this was the main reason they hadn’t spent more time together. “Only if you want to buy me breakfast instead. My lab starts at 10. Would 9 work for you?” “Could we do 9:30? I lead a morning callisthenics class that finishes at 9, and I’d rather not subject you to my post-workout stank.” “Well, if you’re buying me breakfast I suppose I can’t complain too much. We’ll have to be quick, though. Nothing fancy.” “You wrote on me with permanent marker. Was fancy ever a question?” “Hey, in my defence, you passed out with your shoes on, and your chest made too tempting a target.” She bit her tongue when she realized what she’d just said, not wanting to splutter and make a bigger mess. That had come out entirely more sexually than she had intended. Kukui just laughed and made his pecs dance. “So I’ll see you here tomorrow for breakfast, then?” Burnet groaned at her slip of the tongue, but gave him a thumbs up. “See ya then.” —- “Great job this morning, everyone. Hope to see you all next class.” Kukui waved at his departing students, making sure to lock the room behind him before hurrying off to the locker room. He chuckled ruefully as he stepped into the shower. The ink had come off as easily as Burnet had suggested it would, so he no longer had her mischievous tattoo. Despite the embarrassment he’d felt that a class of undergrads noticed it before he did, it had made him laugh. Full of surprises, that one. As he was rinsing the soap out of his hair, her comment from yesterday floated to the front of his mind. Your chest made too tempting a target. A shudder coursed through him as he imagined her giving into all sorts of temptations across his chest. Couldn’t let himself dwell on that for too long, though. They were meeting for breakfast in 10 minutes, and judging by how thoroughly embarrassed she had seemed, she probably didn’t want to be reminded of it. He toweled off roughly, hoping to shake loose any lingering fantasies, and quickly dressed before making his way to their meeting place. “How do you take your coffee?” Kukui asked as he strolled up to his companion. “Black as the void of space, with two shots of espresso,” she answered. “Duly noted. What are you eating?” “Lemon Poppyseed muffin, if they have one. Blueberry if they don’t.” When the Alolan man returned with their food, he not only had two coffees and both the muffins she requested, but a couple of yogurt cups, a bowl of porridge, a couple pieces of fruit, and a plate containing scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages, potatoes, and toast. He set her coffee, muffins, and one of the yogurt cups in front of her, and held out the fruit. “Which do you want?” “This is more than enough, Kukui, I don’t need fruit as well.” “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” he objected. “Keeps the mind sharp and the body running smoothly.” She relented and picked the fruit in his left hand. “What you don’t eat now you can save for later. Except for the yogurt, you should probably eat that now.” “I’ll actually pass on the yogurt, thanks…It’s a texture thing, I can’t eat it.” The physicist grimaced slightly, before biting into her muffin. “That’s okay, I’ll just eat them both…Suppose I should have asked.” He looked slightly abashed and plucked up the yogurt cup. “You don’t have some horrid fruit allergy you’re avoiding telling me about, do you?” Burnet shook her head. “No food allergies or dietary intolerances. How about you?” “Flax and buckwheat, and I’m lactose-intolerant. Which is why,” Kukui rotated the cup in his hand, “I got lactose-free yogurt.” “Seems like a good plan,” she agreed. “So, what’s your part-time job? This is the first time I heard you mention it.” The Alolan man laughed, breaking open the first of his yogurt cups. “I’m not supposed to talk about it much, part of my contract, but I wrestle. Pay’s good, I get to throw folks around a little, release some stress.” “So, all those muscles aren’t just for show, then.” Kukui laughed a deep belly laugh as Burnet did her best to crawl inside her paper coffee cup as her face steadily grew redder and redder. “I really should keep my mouth shut until after I finish my coffee,” she groaned. He shook his head, still laughing. “Maybe this is karmic payback for that stunt you pulled yesterday,” he teased. “Haven’t I suffered for that enough already?” she mumbled into the tabletop. The Alolan man cleared his throat forcefully, remembering his thoughts from earlier that morning. “C’mon, Burnet, you gotta eat. Shame and humiliation won’t give you the energy you need.” Not that it wasn’t cute seeing her embarrassed, she’d turned red all the way out to the tips of her ears. “You’ve got that lab at 10, right. That doesn’t leave much time for loafing around.” Reluctantly, she dragged her face off the table, resting her chin on it instead, and pouting up at him. “This just means I’ll have to figure out some way to embarrass you,” countered the fair-haired woman, taking another thoughtful bite of her muffin. “I feel like escalating the situation is just going to get us both in trouble,” cautioned Kukui. “I thought you were the kind of guy that couldn’t back down from a challenge…” Her eyes danced with mischief as she took a long sip from her coffee. “Are you afraid you’ll lose again?” “Hey, so far we’re 1-1, as far as bets go, so I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.” Or, at least, as far as she knew. They ate in silence for the next couple minutes, until Burnet asked what time they could meet tomorrow. “I’m free around noon, if that works, and next at 3.” “Shockingly, I am also free at noon tomorrow, but only for a half-hour. My break is 11-12:30. If you give me your number, I can text you beforehand and have food waiting when you get here.” Smooth, Kukui, real smooth. “Hey, now that sounds like some first class service! Hand me your phone.” The Alolan scientist slid his unlocked mobile across the table to her and she punched in her info with one hand, using the other to down the last of her coffee. “Alright, that’s me. I’ve gotta dash now, but I’ll see you tomorrow.” Burnet tucked her untouched muffin into her satchel atop her books, and popped the remains of the other into her mouth. Kukui smiled, watching her walk away. If he hadn’t been crushing on her before, he was certainly starting to. Once she was out of sight, he picked up his phone, grinning down at her contact info and fired off a quick text. Just for fun, he set her contact icon as a funny coffee mug he’d found online once. It was a standard white ceramic mug that said “#1 Science” in thick black lettering. With that accomplished, he set his phone back on the table, and reviewed his schedule for the day as he ate. —- Burnet smiled as she felt a buzz in her pocket, pulling out her phone to check the message. [SMS: You are a singularly talented woman, Nicola Burnet - Kukui ] After sending him a reply, she saved his number, setting his contact icon to a Machamp showing off.

[delicatefury]

Time to get some stuff done

So. Yesterday was my do-nothing day*. I’m pretty well rested, and I still have 4 (3 and a half) days off before the project restarts. Going to the mall on Monday or Tuesday to pick up new shoes and a jacket (my converse started doing the thing where the bottom of the sole starts popping out whenever I bend my foot. That’s usually a good sign that I need new ones). I’m probably gonna be weak and pick up a New2DS while I’m there. I love my 3DS, I do. But the button issues are starting to get frustrating.

Speaking of frustrating, the landlords are getting ridiculous. We still haven’t signed the new lease. Not because we don’t want to, but because the landlord company won’t send it to us. I asked them to hold off for one thing, I wanted my brother added, and I told them if they needed anything else from us, tell me. Otherwise we’re good to go. So he did the stuff they asked him to and he got access to the online portal and everything. So you’d think, now that the one thing is done, the new lease would be up and ready to sign, right? 

Nope. So I emailed them about it on... Thursday. I still haven’t heard from them, but that’s okay. It’s the weekend. The issue is that I tried to pay my rent early. Forgot my password. So I had them send me a password reset... nothing. I’ve tried five times. It’s the weekend, so I can’t call the landlord to see what’s up, but I also can’t pay my rent. So, I don’t know if this is a me thing, a server thing, or a them thing. The plan right now is to see if my siblings, who know their passwords, can log in. If they can’t, I’m gonna email again on Monday. That doesn’t work? I’m gonna call. That doesn’t work? I’m gonna show up at their office with my law license, a copy of my state’s Landlord-Tenant act in hand (appropriate passages highlighted), and a check for the rent. All indication is that they still want us as tenants. We don’t cause a fuss, we take care of most issues as soon as they crop up, and we keep the yard neat. The house isn’t up on their site, and by law they have to give us a 30 day heads-up if they’re kicking us out since we’re technically month-to-month right now. I’m not worried per se, but I’m starting to get pissed.

On a brighter note, my new black ink and fountain pen showed up. The fountain pen is not as fine a line as I was hoping (none of them are, to be honest, but this one seems especially thick-lined) but it’s pretty. I have such cramped writing, though, that I have to force myself to use broad strokes or else it turns into an illegible smudge. So I carry around 3 separate but equally important types of pens at all times (I have a lot of pens in my bag). The fountain pens, which are pretty and help when I need motivation to keep writing (I’m not kidding about putting ink to paper being creatively stimulating for me); Sharpie pens which are practical, affordable (comparatively to the other two types) and come in quite a few colors which makes them ideal for editing, since I end up writing more notes than original text when I self-edit. And micron artist pens. Yeah... I mean, yeah, I use them for actual art, but really? They have such nice fine and distinct nibs. When getting the idea down fast is the important bit, the microns let my tiny, cramped, messy, but fast writing be... well, mostly legible.

But I never know what kind I’m gonna need when I leave, so my backpack and purse carry anywhere from 3 to over a dozen pens of various types and colors at any point in time.

Okay, I’ve now wasted a lot of time on this post. I’m actually moving forward on chapter 4 (finally) and I think I’ve got a good flow worked out for the conversation. (Ugh). So I’m gonna get a new drink and try to snag a table inside. Am I gonna be overcaffeinated tonight? Yes. Yes I am. But I’ve got nowhere to be tomorrow (shopping is contingent on my sister’s plans. We haven’t really hung out outside of tv watching for a while) and some stuff to work on tonight.

Knitting and cleaning and list making. Lots of list making. My parents are showing up on Friday and I’m gonna have this house clean.

*do-nothing excepting the 2 grocery runs and the laundry. I did no writing and no major projects.