obscurelyscandinavian

[obscurelyscandinavian]

there's a way some people will talk about sex averse/repulsed asexuals where like. they won't say they think sex averse people are childish or selfish just have hang ups or are inherently conservative, and they probably don't think they think that, but when they talk about sex aversion they sound like they're talking about spoilsports who want to ruin everyone else's fun. "you don't have to have sex with anyone, but sex is really important to a lot of people, so you have to accept that lots of people will be upset or break up with you or write you off from the start. you don't have to talk about sex, but you can't ask people not to bring it up around you because that's implicitly shaming them. you don't have to watch sex scenes, but if you ever state that preference then you have to make it abundantly explicitly clear that it's just a personal thing and not an ethical objection because if you say 'I don't like sex scenes' you sound sex negative." just the constant undercurrent assumption that it is always solely the responsibility of the non-normative people to quietly stay away from the parts of the world that weren't built with them in mind with no acknowledgment or compassion for the fact that, even when that's necessary, it's still really tiring to always have to do all the legwork yourself.

[obscurelyscandinavian]

My grandfather and my godfather (a beloved neighbor and dear family friend) had a long standing bet- for one dollar- about who would die first. Both of them being slightly pessimistic (in the funny way), they both insisted that they themselves would be the first to die. Any time my grandfather had a health scare, he’d gleefully call up my godfather to boast that he’d be passing “any day now” and he was sure to win the bet. It was a big family joke and they were always amiably sparring and comparing notes about who was in worse shape, medically speaking.

When my grandfather was in hospice care dying of liver cancer, my godfather was quite ill also. It took him great effort to make the journey to see his dying friend. As he came into the room, supported by a family member, he shuffled to my grandpa’s bedside and silently handed him a dollar bill. He was ceding his loss of the bet, as they both knew who was going first. My grandpa had been in quite bad shape for a while and was no longer able to speak but let me tell you he snatched that dollar with unexpected strength and literally laughed aloud. He knew exactly what the gesture meant and he couldn’t help but find the humor within the grief. It was the last time any of us heard my grandpa laugh, as he passed shortly after.

When I talk about my appreciation for “dark humor” I’m not so much thinking about edgy jokes, but rather the human instinct to somehow, impossibly, both find and appreciate the absurdity that is so often folded into the profound grief of life and death. When I tell this story I think it kind of perturbs people sometimes, but it’s honestly one of my favorite memories about two men I really deeply admired. I could never hope for anything more than for my loved ones to remember me laughing until the very end, and taking joy in a little joke as one of my final acts.

[obscurelyscandinavian]

I found a VHS tape at the junk store, labeled just “A Surprise!”. Since I’d recently set up my VCR and old 80s TV, I thought I should check it out.

Just… just watch. 

[obscurelyscandinavian]

Charming interaction of the day:

There’s a construction zone around the corner that we pass regularly when walking to and from the house. There are several women on the crew, most of whom are virtually indistinguishable from the men folks from a distance. But there are a couple who really lean into feminine-coded floral shirts/pants/pink hardhats, etc.

As I walked past today, there was a woman who couldn’t have been over 25 who looked like contractor Barbie. Like picture a Latina Tinkerbell with a tool belt and purple work boots absolutely covered in sawdust, explaining something to a man who was likely twice her age and easily twice her size.

“Oh, no no no,” she said, as I walked by, gesturing to something on the tablet they were looking at, “don’t be silly! We’ll just [insert jargon I did not follow here]. It’ll be so much easier.”

After a moment’s consideration he said, gruff but earnest. “You’re right. That’s much less…silly.”

She gave him a little pat on the elbow, probably because that was the highest thing she could reach, and off they went.

Delightful.

[obscurelyscandinavian]

How many times do y’all think they have had the “you don’t actually have to say up”/ “but it’s fun” convo? I think a lot. Bc they’re losers. I love them🥺 happy wip wthursday to all the gays🫶

[obscurelyscandinavian]

not to sound like a medieval peasant but, cheese and bread. garlic and butter. a menagerie of spices. potatoes. that’s what life is all about right there.

[obscurelyscandinavian]

Outfit design commissions for @archie-or-something commissioned by @obscurelyscandinavian // Thank you so much again//

[obscurelyscandinavian]

some of y'all need to learn how to accept hospitality. stop assuming people are only offering to look after you out of twisted obligation that they don't actually want to do. when you assume that, you are often denying someone the opportunity to genuinely show a friend or stranger love. even if you don't really care about what they're offering, it's respectful of their desire to be kind to accept it anyways.

i had a bunch of girls i've never met over for a women's group. every single one of them denied my offer to make them tea (despite already making myself a mug anyways), get them water, a scone, etc.

i can tell when people refuse to let me be a good host because they "don't want to be a bother". like no!! please be a bother!!! i want to serve you and make you comfortable in my home!

not to be like "we live in a society" but really do live in a modern culture than emphasizes individualism to the point where people will reflexively deny any help or kindness from others for fear of treading on their independence. newsflash: dependence on each other is what makes a community. next time someone offers you kindness, accept it instead of making excuses for why you don't need it. otherwise you've robbed both yourself of being loved and someone else from showing love.

[obscurelyscandinavian]

Random fantasy/worldbuilding thing:

Everyone from a different culture seems strangely poetic and profoundly deep in their observations, but only because they speak whatever the common tongue is as a second language, and whatever they are saying is actually mostly just clumsily translated common sayings/figures of speech that flow much better in their own tongue, and make perfect sense to the people who understand the cultural context.

Someone who comes from a place where geodes are common will describe another person: "He is like a stone that seems to hold a treasure inside of it - you learn to know such stones by their shape and their weight - but once you split it open, there is no quartz, no amethyst, no sparkling and brilliant crystal you expected. Just solid rock, through and through. He is like one of those rocks." Which vaguely makes sense, but they're clearly frustrated about not being quite able to express what they're trying to say.

The thing is, in their own first language, there's a specific word for this kind of rock - one that outwardly seems to be a geode but it isn't one after all. This word is also commonly used as an insult, to describe a person who is charismatic, convincing and outwardly seems brilliantly smart, but is actually dumb as shit.

[obscurelyscandinavian]

Forget about torturing your blorbos, putting them through the ringer. I'm putting my blorbo in perfectly ordinary, pleasant situations. Their tortured personality will cause them anguish anyway, making an absolutely mundane scene into the most dramatic, agony filled affair as though the world is ending and it's all their fault

[obscurelyscandinavian]

This might be Derek Guy's greatest masterpiece.

(The Twitter thread is probably easier to read and easier to look at the images, but I wanted to make sure it got preserved. Images are the tweets.)

(Continued in reblog)

[obscurelyscandinavian]

"after they come for the Jews they'll come for- "

Yeah. Quite likely. But also even if people are only coming for the Jews I think that's still very bad. Like I think we can condemn violent and organized attacks on Jews without needing the motivation of being afraid we'll be next.

[obscurelyscandinavian]

[obscurelyscandinavian]

We need to bring back the bait fish because sometimes it feels like yall can't tell when someone is trolling you

Look at him! He's so cute and he knows that someone posting stupid, brain dead or offensive comments is just trying to get you mad, and you should make fun of them for that.

We as a website need him back in our lives

[obscurelyscandinavian]

I just discovered foodtimeline.org, which is exactly what it sounds like: centuries worth of information about FOOD.  If you are writing something historical and you want a starting point for figuring out what people should be eating, this might be a good place?

[obscurelyscandinavian]

I wish fantasy settings would show more dark magic healing. 

Shadows bandaging wounds

Ice cold shade to cool down heatstroke and fever

Engulfing distressing mental imagery in darkness to calm a patient

Snuffing out the afterlife light so the soul won’t leave the body