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anantaru · 2 years ago

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— he doesn't want you to leave

including kazuha, scaramouche, heizou, itto x gn! reader

genre: fluff, little kisses, they're whipped honestly, tiny bit of gossip bf kuni

— kazuha

speaking truthfully, kazuha simply cannot resist you for the life of him.

in fact, once he had officially secured you as his ever so beautiful s/o, he make sure to show you his gratitude in tiny whispers of sweet words and pleas.

additionally he'd make it his duty to shower you in both, physical and emotional affection.

doubtless, he can't help himself, being wiggled in your embrace feels like heaven, it's surreal, sometimes kazuha is certain he's actually hallucinating, but then your body warmth is dashing into him and that's when he knows it was real.

sometimes whenever he sleeps over, the moment you wake up from your slumber the next day, his arm will most likely be lazily thrown over your hips.

once he's all woken up as well, kazuha will immediately pull you softly to his chest, greeting you with a tired, sleepy smile through lidded eyes.

"five more minutes, please."

your body was enduring additional applied pressure from his arm as you turned around to face your boyfriend, staying near and deepening the profound intimacy from each other.

the easygoing pumps under his ribcage were pacifying and settled a great way to enjoy the romantic love between you both.

upon giving him what he desired at last— that being the five additional minutes he had requested, you, with enough persuasion on your own person, spoke again.

"we can't stay in bed forever kazuha."

well, well, believe it or not but kazuha was actually trying his hardest to get out of bed the whole time but how come you were especially comfy today?

you must be playing tricks on him!

"five.. more minutes please." his voice was a little unclear still, the tiredness was continuing to be laced around his words with his sleepy expression being immediately perceived by you.

what if, and that was just a little thought crossing his dizzy thoughts, what if you stayed in today?

just a couple more hours longer doing nothing at all except of laying in bed.

kazuha wasn't a fan of letting go of you right now, not today, not when you're so secure, so pleasant and cozy in his arms.

locked up in each other, you dozed off again without much persuasion required, the work responsibilities that had been shared by you were nothing more than a fleeting dream out of many.

— scaramouche

"what do you think you're doing?"

his voice slightly broke and before you knew it, scaramouche had already wrapped his arms around your waist, as if he was actually scared you'd leave him behind, haltering your attempt to break free from his hold.

"i told you i can't stay all day kuni."

still unsure of the words he had just heard, scaramouche tilted his head in both confusion and doubt, raising his brow to show the visible puzzlement caused by you.

"are you playing stupid with me again? it's still too early to go home."

ah yes, you figured, it's that time again, even though he wouldn't necessarily admit it to you, and if he did, he'd flip the narrative a tiny bit just to not make a fool out of himself.

scaramouche was a thoroughly clingy boyfriend, it cannot be denied, not with the way he was now melting you into his chest again.

tight, so very much tight you could certainly perceive his scent now, it was especially dominant around his neck.

to add to it, it was a floral aroma, but being held natural, not sweet, he absolutely despised anything sweet it made him sick to his stomach.

"you can just say you don't want me to go kuni, it's okay."

to be fair, he tried, but you couldn't help yourself and loved taunting the hell out of your boyfriend every now and then, more so when it was a slightly uncomfortable topic like that.

obviously you cherished the way he was with you, it didn't matter to you that kuni could become quite clingy either, if anything you were beyond flattered that he felt so comfortable with your presence that he needed you to stay.

"that's not what it is and you know it." slightly averting his eyes with a huffed out irritated sigh, he continued his sentence.

"i wanted to finish the story i told you but you had to cut me off."

his hands travelled on your back to playfully sway over the skin, finally meeting their proper place as he cupped your cheeks at last, drawing your head closer, "so keep your pretty eyes on me."

a fleeting kiss, just one, placed on your puckered out lips as he quickly made you rest your head on him again, not wasting anymore time.

"so where was i? oh, yeah, so the seventh harbinger has a terrible personality!"

— heizou

"would you still love me if i was a worm?"

no ifs or buts, heizou demanded a clear answer now, even the mighty detective from the tenryou commission yearned to be pampered and reassured by his s/o every once in a while.

maybe it was because of the obvious fact on how exceedingly tired from work he had gotten, or of the cosy warm way you had him tucked in your arms.

in each others embrace the world seemed to have stopped completely, pure and free, mind at peace without a single negative emotion crossing you.

some people were natural huggers and heizou perceived you as one of those, it felt as if you wrapped him in sheer love, like a sun leisurely warming up your skin on a sweet summer day.

"yes, i would." confidently stating said fact, he slightly tilted his eyes to meet yours in a sceptic expression, "you're lying."

without any question you dramatically let go off him, obviously teasing and messing with your boyfriend but the second you were attempting to do so, he had already clasped himself on your back, keeping you close.

"i would love you if you were a worm, i'd keep you in my pocket."

oh really now, you rolled your eyes and snickered at the unusual declaration as you slowly cradled your head back to allow heizou to properly hug you again.

"you're lying." confidently, you mocked his answer from before, savoring the feeling of contentment in your bones when he swayed himself closer.

"i would hug you all day, doesn't matter to me if you're slimy." you felt his body gradually press against your own and you obliged, laying yourself back into the bed, letting your muscles loosen up.

with a kiss on your forehead he welcomed you back, sometimes heizou wished to stay like this forever.

laying in bed all day while doing absolutely nothing sounded heavens made to your boyfriend.

"i‘d still love you if you were a worm heizou." - "you're still lying."

— itto

your boyfriend itto, or how he wants to be referred to, as arataki "the one and oni" itto was famous for his warm, bear hugs.

with his arms tightly cradling your body, itto swore there wasn't anything better, no other scenario could rival this momentary moment of peace. (maybe winning a beetle fight but hush)

"itto i really need to go now, i still have so much work to do."

he pouted at your words, more so did he not accept them in his mind.

without a sentence following, you lightly placed your hand onto his cheek to make it easier for you to kiss him before attempting to stand up.

"no wait!" obviously you knew how dramatic he could become whenever you had to take your leave, itto would leave nothing untouched, he'd put all of his might into the challenge of making you stay just a bit longer, so he can cuddle you a little bit more.

"i didn't tell you but, *cough*, i have again, *cough*, lost a part of me during a deadly fight."

narrowing your brows with light wrinkles making themselves visible on your forehead, you crossed your arms around your body, confused by what he meant, "what fight?"

in a single motion, itto dramatically dropped back on the mattress, his hand laid flat on his chest, right above his heart as he squealed out in pain, absolutely crushed.

"a beetle fight, please save me."

the silence was loud, truly and itto didn't open his eyes either, clearly he was waiting for a response from you.

his heart was at last, stabbed with the last inch of hope in him to make you stay as he peaked at you from squinting eyes, watching him flabbergasted.

"ormaybeiwantyoutostaylonger."

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amyriadfthings · 2 years ago

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I love this. We see Simon´s natural, authentic fire and ferociousness dimmed around Marcus, or after his solo is taken away and he sits in the music room, defeated, or after Sara has betrayed him and he´s all cried out at home. We follow him through all the pain he´s going through and see him trying to find his way and messing up and taking detours and rooting for him to get to a place that he can accept for himself, that feels true to him, that may get him to happiness even. We´ve come to know him as steadfast and principled and have to watch him struggle with his own rules while facing forces much bigger than him and being confronted with things completely out of his control. Simon likes to be in control where he can be, I think, out of a sense of security/defense and self-preservation, and he´s experiencing so much slipping away from him in S2. I think it´s beautiful that he´s finding a constant he can depend on after everything that went down and for that to be his love that still prevails. Among all the shit it still shines.

When he is at that final point where everything has been taken from him and it feels like choice has been taken away from him, too, in so many matters, he can still actually truly decide of his own accord to do what HE wants, with all the information he has now, what he has now found out that he wants, and take that step forward towards Wille. There´s nothing to hide behind anymore anyway. Rules don´t matter; love matters. And he actually goes for it, somewhere beyond his control, beyond what he´s probably expected of himself just a few months earlier, into the unknown of whatever royal shitshow might be ahead some time in the future as far as he can tell, sure, but also towards love and what he really wants. Yeah, that´s quite a profound arc, actually, I think.

Radical Acceptance and Simon's Arc in Season 2

There's a lot of discussion about Simon's character arc in season 2 floating around in the tag over the last few days, so I thought I would add my 2 cents.

I actually love Simon's arc in season 2, because to me it is a journey towards radical acceptance. Radical acceptance is something I think about a lot as someone with chronic pain. It means "ability to accept situations that are outside of your control without judging them, which in turn reduces the suffering that is caused by them." Simon starts the beginning of season 2 doing everything he can to deny his own feelings. And by the end he has admits that he is in love, that he cannot control the fact that he is in love, and that being in love might lead to him getting hurt. The fact that he radically accepts his emotions, regardless of the possible consequences, is an act of incredible vulnerability and bravery.

In the beginning of the season, Simon tries so hard to move on from Wilhelm. In my mind, Simon's season 1 arc was largely about him learning to establish boundaries. He learned to stick up for himself, and of course I was cheering him on as a viewer. So he starts season 2 with these firmly established boundaries, and he's trying to figure out how to live with them. He tries so hard to move on with Marcus. He listens to his friend's advice and agrees that he needs a rebound. He tries to pursue a physical angle with Marcus (hooking up with him at his house), and then a more romantic angle (relying on him for emotional support, inviting him to the dance), but it never quite works. Meanwhile, during this early part of the season, Wilhelm is constantly testing his boundaries and Simon is constantly defending them. Simon has to tell Wilhelm that he doesn't want to talk in episode 1, that he can't continue to be his confidant. He relents a little in episode 2, when the royal family tries to remove Wilhelm and Simon tries to come to his defense. But Wilhelm immediately tries to leverage this slight crack in Simon's armor and asks him, once again, to be his secret boyfriend until he turns 18, when his family has assured him he will be allowed to come out. (I love Wilhelm to bits, but this is not his brightest hour). Simon, rightfully reacts negatively to this.

So Simon doesn't have a chance to consider how he really feels because Wilhelm doesn't give him space to do so until late episode 3/early episode 4, when Wilhelm decides he has to let Simon go. And that little bit of breathing room allows Simon to gain some startling clarity.

The other thing I love about Simon's arc this season is how imperfect it is. I think a lot of times as audience members we want our heroes' journeys to always leave them wiser and more mature than where they began. But Simon is a teenager, and the way he learns about himself in this season is messy and immature. At first I was a little disappointed that he let his boundaries drop so quickly and kissed Wilhelm at the dance. If I had a friend who kissed someone who had treated them the way Wilhelm had, I probably would say something like, "girl (in a gender neutral way) WHAT are you doing?". But here's the thing: Simon figures out something about himself in that moment, and that self discovery is valid. He's not ready to move on. Wilhelm tells him earlier in the evening that he's figured it out; he has to let Simon go. I can practically see the cogs turning in Simon's brain, the thoughts "how DARE he tell me that I want him to move on. I don't want that!" sparking behind his eyes. The irony, of course, is that Simon wouldn't have admitted to himself that he's still in love with Wilhelm if Wilhelm hadn't made an effort to move on.

Simon has always had little sparks of impulsivity and ferociousness that make this move feel totally in character, so it's one of my favorite writing choices of the season. The Simon that will call the royal family out for tax evasion in class is the same Simon that will kiss Wilhelm half out of desperate desire and half out of spite, and I love that about him. It's also the Simon who feels the need to hold the system that wronged him-- the Hillerska class system and August in particular-- to account.

So after the dance, Simon is left with two irreconcilable facts. He is in love with Wilhelm, and being in love with Wilhelm isn't going to lead to a healthy relationship (at least as far as he knows at that time). Wilhelm might be willing to give up the crown for him, but is unwilling to sacrifice his family and the royal system as a whole for Simon. Dating Wilhelm would mean allowing August to go unreported and sacrificing some of Simon's moral code. So Simon is torn, unsure of what matters more to him.

So much of Young Royals is about the struggle to live authentically. It's about the battle between what you feel in your heart and what other people are telling you is the correct way to live. It's also about the systems that keep us in our place, and whether we choose to defy them or not. I think other marginalized people can relate to the fact that sometimes you just can't fight all the battles. You can advocate and protest as much as you can, but sometimes you have to walk away in order to keep your heart intact. (I feel this way a lot with disability advocacy, especially in the time of covid as an immunocompromised person.)

At the end of the season, Simon's attempts to defy the system have been defeated. August has trapped him, eliminating his ability to report August's crime to the police (or so Simon thinks, until Sara does it for him). Everything has been taken away from Simon except for his heart. And he knows what his heart is telling him. His heart is telling him that he's in love with Wilhelm. There's defeat there, but there's also victory in realizing that his emotions are still real and strong and undeniable even after everything he's been through. So he radically accepts his emotions and gives in to them. He tells Wilhelm he'll be with him. Forget about August. They'll cope with the secrecy. None of it is ideal. But Simon is prepared to deal with the unideal if it lets him live truthfully. Even though this decision is about his relationship with Wilhelm, the journey he took to this decision is about his relationship with himself. So I don't agree with people who say that Simon's season 2 arc is only about his love life.

To me Simon's final decision is like taking a step off a cliff with your heart exposed, and hoping the new wings you just bought will allow you to fly instead of letting you crash to your death. It's so brave. It's so vulnerable.

And then Wilhelm returns that bravery and vulnerability, and Simon's wings are working after all. They're flying, and I can't wait to see where season 3 takes them..

#simon is going Through It in s2 and i love it #and ofc omar is serving up a feast throughout #and thankfully wille is holding simon´s hand as they step off that cliff together #and hopefully they´ll only experience minor bumps and turbulence but no crash in s3 #and remain authentic to themselves and brave together #thank you for this op #young royals #yrs2

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wakaoujisenhime · 3 years ago

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Hi Hi could I request Kuroko, Kagamai, Akashi, Midorima and Murasakibara reaction to their s/o who's into photography and loves to take photos of them because they think their the most beautiful muse. They say things like "the light is hitting you perfectly please don't move until I take this picture." something like that lol

A/N: anon…this, THIS is a masterpiece of an idea and I love you for it (๑♡⌓♡๑) please enjoy! ♥️

Tags: the boys [KKMMA] x reader ✅ SFW ✅ fluff ✅

━━━━☆ ━━━━☆ ━━━━☆

Kuroko:

ok so the first time you took a picture of him was during lunch break

since he usually likes to spend his free time in the classroom while eating his homemade bento, the moment you became a couple you’d always join him

one day you were a bit late because one of the teachers had held you up, so you quickly texted him an apology for your delay and told him you’d be there soon so he can start eating without you

when you finally arrived, you immediately proceeded to apologize but promptly shut your mouth as you saw the scenery before you

Kuroko was reading one of his many novels, his elbows propped on the very edges of his desk, bento box and chopsticks untouched before him, blue eyes fixated on the text before him

everything about this was perfect as is, but what really gripped you and made you unconsciously reach for your camera, that you always had dangling from your neck, was the way the morning sun hit his face casting an ever so small shadow that only further accentuated his beautiful and calm facial features

as if in trance you gently push the small button on top of your camera and the shutter goes off

surprised by the sudden sound he turned his head in your direction and wanted to greet you but you cut him off even before he uttered a single syllable: “Tetsu, don’t move! The way the sun hits the back of your head right now is perfect…I just need to take a picture so bear with me for a moment.”

the way you had your left arm outstretched to stop any of his movements while your eyes were hidden behind the small rectangular object didn’t stop your boyfriend’s light blush to spread across his cheeks

he wasn’t used to being the only one in a photo so that alone made him a little nervous and embarrassed, but your silent comments and compliments on how his hair looked even more remarkable under the sunlight or how his facial features managed to perfectly cast shadows on his face that made him look more mature made his heart race faster than any game

luckily for your lover, this situation showed him another side of you that he rarely got to see, and who was he to interrupt your adorable mumbling just because of his embarrassment?

since then you used any and every opportunity to take his photo, whether it was in Maji Burger as he drank his usual smoothie or when he waited for you in front of a fountain in the park where you scheduled your date

when he finally asked you about it you proudly announced: “I’m sorry, but I can’t help the fact that my lover is such an amazing model for basically any type of photo! I always thought that you were hiding your beauty beneath those bangs and turns out I was absolutely right!”

you continued showering him with compliments until he couldn’t take it anymore and shut you up with a gentle kiss

“If it weren’t for your keen eye, I could’ve continued hiding myself and avoid the other’s gazes”

“Do you hate being the center of attention that much?” you whispered out, your eyes directly peering into his own big ones

with a smile he gently caresses your cheek and answers: “Your attention is all I need.”

Kagami:

Kagami was aware of your fascination for photography, I mean how could he not be when every time the two of you were out together for different reasons, you’d always take your camera with you and snap a photo or two

what he wasn’t aware of though, was what or better said who the subject of your images was

every time you reached for your camera the lens was always aimed in his direction and it never bothered him, because he figured that you were taking a photo of the scenery behind him so he never bothered to pose, smile, or anything of that sort

one day though it made him wonder whether his presence might disturb whatever images you’d taken so the next time you aimed your camera he turned his head, looking directly into the object’s circular lens, and just as he was about to say something the familiar sound of the shutter shut him up

“Perfect…that might be the best one yet” you silently praised and smiled to yourself

W-Wait a second…

“(Y/N)?”

“Hm?”

“What did you just photograph?”

you looked at him with slightly wide eyes, confusion spreading across your face as you answered: “Why of you of course”

and that’s when it clicked

all this time you’d taken pictures of what he thought to be the nature and scenery but in actuality, it was him you’d focused on

“W-Wait! You mean to t-tell me that I wasn’t in the way of your photos a-and that you actually photographed–“

before he could finish his sentence he realized something else that made him blush even harder

Perfect…Absolutely breathtaking��I’m so glad that I took my camera with me…The lighting and wind make you even prettier…What tranquility and gentleness, I’m in love…You’re so beautiful

all these comments that he’d brushed off, thinking that they were some kind of weird quirk of yours that resembled his captain’s whenever he talked about his samurai series, now made perfect sense

when the reality of the situation hit him he couldn’t help but bury his face in his hands and grunt at his stupidness, meanwhile, you tried to wrap your head around what Kagami had been believing up until today

looking at him being that frustrated with himself made you chuckle, but it also made you feel bad since you never directly told him so you decided that now might be the best time

with a gentle smile, you once again raised the camera to your face, waited until his figure became the focus and blurred the background, and gently pressed down the shutter

the sound made the young man beside you flinch and ever so hesitantly glance up to you with a dreading expression on his face

after pushing some of the buttons you cozy up to your boyfriend until your shoulders touched and showed him the image you had just taken with a proud smile

“I’m sorry for not telling you about it, but if I shared the fact that you’re my muse with you, you probably would’ve never allowed me to take any” you reasoned as you looked into his eyes and observed the way his cheeks reddened the moment you called him your muse

“I’m your muse…?”

you nodded and showed him a few other photos that all showed him do average everyday things such as eating something, chatting on his phone, warming up, etc. and even though they weren’t that special, the way you managed to capture him, his expression, and even some of the background made them all look professional

“Taiga, you’re such a nice guy that you would’ve probably offered to be my model if I had asked you to, but I wanted to capture that raw beauty of yours, the one that you display on every basketball match and that was the only way to do it…or at least that’s what I thought”

you paused before returning to the most recent image

“Having you being aware might be better after all…just look here at the way your eyes sparkle and your posture, both tense and relaxed at the same time gives off the impression of confidence and a tinge of uncertainty, both summing up your profound character that I love so much”

listening to your explanation made his heart beat harder against his chest and to stop you from fawning even more he covered your camera with his big hand and murmured: ”I-It’s fine already…I get it”

after seeing yet another unexpected expression on your boyfriend’s face you tried to get another shot of him, but this time he tried his best to avoid you and the two of you ended up chasing each other around the park, attracting the attention of many fellow visitors, but to you, it was as if only Kagami and you existed

Midorima:

one afternoon during the end of basketball practice, you had joined your green-haired boyfriend with his supplementary exercises, observing him and the perfect way he shoots one three-pointer after the other

you’d asked him long ago whether it was alright with him to take his photo and despite the many protests he’d agreed under the condition that it happened during basketball practice

unfortunately, the way he played didn’t manage to ignite the spark you needed to snap that one photo you’ve always been hoping for, neither his skills nor his playstyle were to blame for that, there was just something missing that you couldn’t name

the way you sighed caught Midorima’s attention and made him stop mid-throw so that he could take a glance in your direction and when he saw the disappointed face you made it made his heart ache

“Is something the matter (Y/N)?” he suddenly asked as he sat beside you, towel in one hand and his drinking bottle in the other

you shook your head and tried to play it off, blaming your bad mood on one of your earlier classes and the complaisant boyfriend he was he let it go (also partially because he was afraid that if he prodded further you’d get mad)

out of the corner of your eyes, you could see how he took off his glasses and started cleaning them

and that’s when your heart throbbed

the way his long fingers carefully handled the fragile black frames, the skillful and cautious way he removed any speck of dust from the glass, mixed with the way some of his green hair’s strands stuck to his slightly sweaty forehead, and lastly his beautiful long eyelashes were what won you over

before you knew it, you had grabbed your camera and had taken a photo of his profile, the shutter’s sound startling both him and you

“D-Did you just take a ph–”

“Shush! Stay just like that!” you blurted out, your hand on his chest to restrict his movements and keep him in that exact pose he was right now

with a reluctant expression on his face, he avoided looking in your direction, hoping that you wouldn’t notice the light blush spreading across his cheeks, meanwhile you smiled to yourself at his futile attempt and once again snapped another picture…

thanks to that one coincidental photo you managed to take back then, you finally knew what you have been missing all this time, namely your boyfriend being himself and not the Midorima Shintaro from Shuutoku who never missed a shot

in order to achieve that “normality” you had to take as many sneaky shots as possible, but they unfortunately never stayed as secretive as you would’ve wanted them to be because he either caught you mid-photo or your own comments betrayed you

Just like that Shin, look more to the side!

Leave your glasses be, you’re even more beautiful without them!

Don’t touch your hair! The way it is right now compliments your face perfectly!

Even if you scowl at me, you still look good!

he’d always run up to you afterward, blushing at the entire situation and no matter how much he ended up protesting, scolding you, or trying to take the camera from you to delete the photos, he never truly was upset about it

the reason Midorima let it all slide was because he enjoyed the way you smiled when you looked at the images you’d taken

the way your eyes practically sparkled mixed with the slight flush of your cheeks made his heart race every single time

“Is something wrong Shin? You’ve been staring at my face for quite a while.”

embarrassed of being caught by you, he squeezed your nose and stuttered: “I-It’s nothing, k-keep looking at y-your photos!”

Murasakibara:

taking Murasakibara’s pictures wasn’t an issue, you simply asked him and he agreed with no resistance whatsoever

you were over the moon at first and even made sure to have your camera with you at all times so that when an opportunity presented itself you’d be ready

from a pedestrian’s point of view, you looked like a cute touristic couple which consisted of the somewhat bored boyfriend, who agreed to have his photos taken for your happiness, and you, who couldn’t hold the excitement of being together with this young man back while happily snapping one pic after the other

their thoughts weren’t that off from the truth, you truly were delighted to be able to practice your hobby, and even having the tall young man as your model made it even better

thanks to the amount of muscles he’d gained from his daily basketball training, his height, his beautifully long and purple hair, his constantly relaxed expression, and his surprisingly gentle facial features, your boyfriend was already photogenic as is so any photo you took was downright breathtaking

and yet, those fulfilling feelings were rather short-lived

as time went by and you shot one photo after the other you came to realize that you hadn’t managed to take a single photo where he genuinely smiled or grinned

getting him to do either was nearly impossible, even for you

all you ever managed to summon was a very loving and gentle smile that resembled that of an angel; it was so pure that you could read all of his emotions from it, but that smile was reserved for your cuddle sessions that always ended up with him almost crushing you with his embrace and his low giggles as the result to your mixed reactions

“(Y/N)-chin, let’s go over there and sit down…I can’t walk anymore”

you giggled and took his hand that he’d extended to you, following him to a bench that was protected by a couple of trees, which cast down a perfect shadow on the wooden surface

the young man plopped down as if he’d ran for hours without a single break and wrapped his big arms around your waist, burying his face in your tummy

his childish behavior made you giggle and you softly caressed his head

“Didn’t you want to eat your snacks?” you asked after a short while, only to receive a silent growl as an answer

“Let me stay like this for a while…please”

his cute way of pleading with you only broadened your smile, which turned it into a grin as soon as an idea popped into your mind

with one hand still on his head, you used the other to aim the camera lens at the young man’s head as you asked your lover to look up at you

it took him a short while to comply because he kinda had the feeling that you wanted to ask for yet another photo, but he ultimately gave in and cast his purple eyes up to you

still smiling you glanced at the small screen on your camera in order to make sure that everything was perfect when you subconsciously blurted out: “Everything about you is charming Atsushi, the way the wind caresses your hair, perfectly accentuating your gentle face’s features…I’m so glad to have you as my muse”

…

your eyes went wide as you noticed the change in his expression

his cheeks had taken on an unexpected shade of deep red, one that you’ve never seen on him before; his eyes were a bit glassy and maybe equally as wide as yours, and his mouth was slightly agape

“Wha-! What are you saying (Y/N)-chin?!” he screamed out and once again hid his face before you could manage to snap a picture of this rare expression

“Atsushi, wait don’t hide! Let me take a photo!”

your protests fell on deaf ears and no matter how much you struggled or tried to loosen his grip around your waist, his strength made sure to make all of your attempts futile

“I-If I let you see me like that…I won’t be cool in your eyes anymore a-and I don’t want that” he finally admitted in a low voice

it took you a short while to comprehend what exactly he was trying to say; and when you did you couldn’t hold your laughter in any longer, ruffled his hair, and kissed the top of his head, waiting until he had regained his composure and returned your affectionate gestures

Akashi:

having the famous Emperor as your lover was like a dream, but when it came to keeping things a secret you were at a clear disadvantage because this man read you like an open book

no matter how hard you tried to act innocent or clueless, he’d always be able to add two and two together and expose whatever you were hiding within a matter of minutes

same goes for your fondness of photography and the fact that you had your eyes set on him as your muse

one day when you visited his home the two of you were in the living room and he was playing a round of shogi against himself while you sorted your camera’s gallery

when you took a glance at the young man your heart throbbed

the soft light of the sun that managed to come forth between the many clouds of that day shone right at him; in order to block the light from disturbing his vision, he’d leaned his chin on his hand and let his fingers extend to the corner of his mesmerizing eyes; a soft smile adorned his lips as his left hand stretched out to move one of the many wooden pieces before him

you couldn’t help it and immediately proceeded to take a picture, successfully catching him off guard

“Did you take a picture of me?” he asked without shifting his line of sight from the board, a hint of amusement in his voice

“Mhm, I did…sorry” you apologized before sighing to yourself, “it’s just that you looked really beautiful and I thought it’d be a shame if I didn’t use the opportunity.”

being called beautiful was something he wasn’t used to, so as he heard that word pass your lips, he froze up and finally tore his attention away from the game, and now gazed at you with a warm smile

“You can take more if you’d like.”

“R-Really?”

and with that, he became your conspirator in your mission to take as many photos of him as your camera’s storage could handle

“Just like that Sei…look more to the lef- yes, perfect!”

you spat one command after the other as the young man before you held onto the reins of his gorgeous white horse and let his hand gently run along the animal’s head

after snapping a few more photos you looked at them in silence, an unusual scene for your boyfriend

“Is something the matter (Y/N)? Aren’t you satisfied with these?”

your head shot up and you violently shook your head, explaining that it was nothing and you were just lost in thought; even though he quickly realized that you weren’t telling the truth, he chose to keep silent until you were ready to tell him what truly bothered you

unexpectedly, your silence lasted longer than he’d hoped for and no matter how unique he tried to organize these little photo sessions you did, your mood never seemed to improve which frustrated him

when he saw you sitting on the couch all sad and unmotivated while you scrolled through your camera roll, he immediately turned around and went back outside to his garden to mull over ways in which he could help you out

so to distract himself, he picked up his basketball, started dribbling, and began perfecting his shooting

the sound of the ball hitting the wall caught your attention, causing you to get up and search for its source

when you opened the front door you were greeted by a similar sight as the one back when you’d first taken Akashi’s photo which made you smile

“Sei-chan, that’s what I was looking for” you whispered as you subconsciously took a photo of the exact moment where the young man jumped and gently threw the ball against the wall, simulating a layup shot

still unaware of your presence the young man wiped his sweat with his shirt’s collar and the moment he felt your arms wrap around his body he jumped ever so slightly

before he could ask you anything, let alone say something, you kissed his cheek and whispered: “I knew it…you’re always beautiful, but the moment you shine the brightest is when you’re being yourself”

moved by your words he turned around, returning your embrace and kissing your lips as he then proceeded to hide his blushing face and glassy eyes from you by pressing you closer to himself

#knb headcanons #knb imagines #knb fluff #kuroko no basket x reader #knb x reader #kuroko x reader #kagami x reader #murasakibara x reader #akashi x reader #━𝙺𝙽𝙱 #━𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽'𝚂 𝙴𝙲𝙷𝙾

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oldguardleatherdog · 2 years ago

Text

CW: Looooooong post

https://werewolfbarista.tumblr.com/post/697188935986708480/now-that-tumblr-user-hypnokinkdoggo-seems-2-have

This is about me. My termed blog @hypnokinkdoggo is being used to heap abuse and hate speech on me based on my age, disability, 9/11 injury, HIV status, and perceived mental state.

People are actually encouraging others to search for my posts and artifacts and continue harassing and abusing me. Check out some of the more toxic comments that have been slung my way:

This began with @commonpigeon in August 2022 and has caused me to be ridiculed by more than 9,000 people.

Repeated reports have been ignored.

I'm finding more of these all the time.

Cyberbullying is against the law. So is online hate speech.

I have hundreds of screenshots of what's been posted and I'm gathering more each day. Anti-harassment resources are out there, and I'm using them.

As I muck through this cesspool of violence and hate targeting me, I've been posting excerpts here with context and commentary. Some will be springboards for monographs I'll post here where I will explicate a hate comment and find the connection to our fight against the storm of RW laws etc. coming our way.

I'm not "calling people out" or encouraging others to make trouble for these posters: they're overwhelmingly Gen Z, with all the purity culture, casual cruelty, and lack of self-awareness and basic human decency that years of 4chan and bad parenting and moral numbness and MAGA have wrought on these kids.

But if you look at their blogs, they're trans, furries, queers, kinksters, pup players, artists, fandom experts, writers, students and more who fill their spaces with beauty and musings and song and art of their own creation and self-healing and introspection that's remarkably perceptive, sometimes moving, even profound.

They're capable of compassion and caring about strangers who just might be queer, furry, kinky, GNC, pups, seekers, writers, and fighting for trans rights - *their* rights - in ways not so different from their own.

But they refuse to show that care and compassion to me, and I don't have the slightest idea as to why I've been singled out and targeted for the most horrific and vile abuse I've ever seen in 60 years of hard living.

And it's not because of my identity, or anything I did that was controversial, or any political or cultural stance of mine, or that I behaved in an antisocial way or slurred anyone with hate or threats -

Its because a 20-year-old girl in Scotland found a stoned 3 AM post I made on a religion thread that was, well, a stoned 3 AM post about religion (I was a Lutheran seminarian and LGBTQ+ equality activist in the 90's) Stream-of-consciousness, rambled a bit, but nothing at all remarkable.

She copied my post from the blog where I'd replied, and she reblogged that *stolen* post for the express purpose of "dissecting" it for ridicule by her followers, and they obliged. Hard. Gleefully. Death wishes toward me included. Done just for laughs, for entertainment, for the lulz.

When I posted some of this a while ago, a follower of mine said, "I feel like the worst part is that they're not even like, 'I'm x-phobic and I hate you', this is just like, a Thursday night for them, it seems".

I've spent my life fighting - effectively - for our community from the minute I came out. Queer Nation, ACT/UP, med cannabis, marriage equality, trans rights, I've been there and I'm still here.

I'm not about to give up. There are too many younger than me who have been asking me to share my experiences with them, and I'm eager to do just that. I know how to fight the fascists with tactics you won't find online; they're in my activist heart, and they're yours for the asking.

For a useless cringe pervo insane grandpa on death's door whose ancient presence here is scandalous, I've got a good supply of wisdom and understanding. But with this, I am at a loss, and no one I know can figure it out.

I'm fighting for my own justice here. Thanks for reading. Peace.

#what is wrong with people #show me what's right with people #please

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hormoneasfuckforkillers · 3 years ago

Note

HELLO!!! i just read through All of your posts on my break at work and i Love this blog so MUCH ;0; can i request the sinclairs (and whoever else you like) with an S/O with a really husky, deep voice? ive been told i sound like kathleen turner a lot and im trying Very hard to own it like she does lmao

S/O with a really husky & deep voice

OMFG THANK YOU SO MUCH, this means the world to me. I picked Jason and Myers as a bonus if you don't mind!

Vincent Sinclair He loves your voice, for God. He thinks everything about you is unique, your voice is no exception. He feels a mixture of emotion and "I want more". It's satisfying to hear you and he loves it when you talk into his ear. It suits you. He loves to hear you talking to his dog, the way your tone changes, he can smirk through the wax mask - as much as he can. He loves to say how much he loves your voice and you as a whole, expect lots of praise from him.

Bo Sinclair This man is a pervert, let's face it. The first thing he thinks about when he starts to have an interest in you is what it would be like to hear you moan, and he's going to test it. He's a teaser machine, don't doubt how much he can degrade you while inviting you "politely" to fuck. It's impossible for him not to think about it when he hears your deep, husky voice in his ear. You started it! He thinks your voice is beautiful and will make a point of saying it when you say something profound, funny or sexy.

Lester Sinclair I think he's the one who cares least of all, being honest. He won't even notice your voice much for a long time until your voice actually teases him. Can get goosebumps sometimes, he's very sensitive with sounds. He's the one who's going to fucking tell you that your voice is beautiful, and that he loves listening to you. Because it's true, this man could hear you talk for 4 months straight, that if you stop he'll ask why and beg for more. He thinks it's sexy, he finds everything about you sexy actually. Your voice makes him feel less alone.

Michael Myers He doesn't care for your voice to the same degree that he doesn't care for anything, but he can't deny it's attractive. It's different, it's yours. The famous "It's perfect" because somehow it fits very well into his image of you, which is kind of perfect too. Sometimes it can stir or catch your attention just to hear you. He wonders if you can make your voice deeper than it already is and will test it out.

Jason Voorhees He doesn't have a very broad opinion about it, as he doesn't even have a voice. Sincerely after knowing your voice he felt relieved. After hearing so many high-pitched cries for help and screams so thin they could break glass windows, he is relieved that you are different and so unique. It's not boring, he feels like he can listen to you talk for hours and hours, and he won't get tired of listening to you. It's almost like a haven for him. He thinks your voice sounds like someone who has experience, has seen it all, fought in wars lol. He likes how it's kind of husky, it's satisfying and sometimes it can be quite sexy too.

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booksweet · 4 years ago

Note

hii, hope you're having a great day/night. <3

i saw your request were open and i thought to request some hcs for megumi, gojo and choso who's s/o is insecure about their hip dips (which are so visible), maybe some comfort or how they would just react it's okay. >__<

also, remember to take care of yourself and to drink water.

jjk boys reaction who's s/o is insecure about their hip dips

staring: Fushiguro Megumi, Gojo Satoru, Kamo Choso

contents/warnings: SFW, fluff, grammar mistakes, everyone is 18+

A/N: hey! Thank you so much for sending me this request I'm so glad writing it for you >.< I'm having this kind of busy week, but I'm okay, hope you're good as well! Don't forget to take care of yourself too!! Once again, thank you, I also have dip hips so writing this got kind of personal haha my heart almost melted. Hope you like it, enjoy!

masterlist | main navi

tags: @noritoshiikamo @iwaizumini

Fushiguro Megumi

first things first I have to say that Megumi doesn't see your hip dips as a flaw on your body, actually, he doesn't care at all;

For him, they make you look like a sculpture, some kind of art that he's blessed to have by his side. Like, look how your body is wonderful, he thinks of you as a deity all the time he looks ate you;

But when it comes about your own insecurities, he cares a lot about it, more than he thought he could ever care about someone;

He needs for you to see how stunning you are, how wonderful and perfect your body is;

So that day when you two were about to go out on a date and you've asked him so many times if your clothes were okay, if you were beautiful, he felt you were afraid of his answer. He felt you were worried about what he thought of your body and his heart ached because of you scared of him;

Once again you were trying to change your clothes, focused searching for the perfect one to use on a date with your boyfriend. So focused you didn't notice him staring at you from your door frame;

He watched you silent, staring at your movement with caring eyes. But then you started muttering something and you turned you eyes sadly to that specific side of your body, just below your hip bone;

"Why am I like this? Why do I have this on my body? If I..."

He couldn't take it anymore, you are so beautiful for him, your hips, your waist, you're wholesome perfect and marvelous. "Why what Y/N?" He would enter your room, his soft voice startling you from your wandering thoughts;

"Oh, I'm-" You breath deeply. "I was trying to pick up any clothes, I'm almost ready, but I can't find anything that fits my..." Again, that painful look to your sides.

"You know..." He would walk closer and closer to you, placing his hands on your shoulders in reassurance. He looks at you from your mirrored version. "You may not believe me when I say: but you're perfect. Every inch of your body is. And-"

"Gumi, no..."

"Hey, hey, let me praise you, my love" He places his chin on the top of head, hands down on your waist. "Even the flawless parts you think you have are perfect parts. This..." His hands ghost above your hip dips, you feel your heart racing. "They are just one more part of you for me to love. How could I not love you entirely? You think of them as a flaw..."

He would kiss the top of your head, smiling at you. "But I think of them as art craved through your body. You're art, Y/N. Never forget that."

Gojo Satoru

We know how bold and cocky this man can be, so why would it be different when it comes to you?

He knew you had insecurities with your body, even though he has always managed to show you how wonderful you are;

Believe me, I think he's capable of screaming in public place about how perfect you are, how lucky he is to have you by his side (lowkey he says you're the luckiest because he's with you, that gojo thing);

But when you're both on your day off and you decide to go to the beach, he worries about you enjoying you day, the day you both finally got to be together;

You hid your body on his largest t-shirt, even thought the sun is higher and higher upon the sky, calling you both for a sunbathing;

"Darling, wanna some sunscreen lotion?" He asks you, trying to make you come out from your hiding spot;

Not that he thinks it's not okay for you to use his clothes, he actually finds it very hot and cute, but he knows why are you doing this to yourself and he wants to show you how wrong you are hiding yourself;

"Hm... No need to, babe" You say looking away from him, staring at women and men that were walking around closer the shoreline;

You just wanted to relax with Gojo, you were okay in your bikinis, but since your arrive, you couldn't help but to feel insecure about your body;

Your dip hips were so visible you felt like everybody would judge you if you took off Gojo's shirt;

You really didn't want to care about it, but still it bothered you so hard that sometimes you just wanted to cry;

Again, that feeling overwhelming your senses, why couldn't you be just like these pretty people who were walking around there?

"Hey, babe, hear me" Gojo would say to catch your attention, his intense blue eyes hidden behind that dark sunglasses;

He would sit down closer to you, his tall body almost towering over yours;

Placing his hands on your waist, he would bring you even closer putting you onto his laps. His lips ghosting over your earlobe had he saying "Dear Y/N..."

"Sa-satoru, people can lo-look" you'd say flustered, cheeks coloured in pink;

"Let them look" He whispers, his hands going down his shirt you were wearing, warming all the way they touched. "Let them look how beautiful you are, let them stare at the exquisite person you are..."

"But..." You place your hands right above your sides, where's that visible depression is

Suddenly his hands are on yours, holding them tight and you feel your body warming with love as he poured sweet words, melting your insecurities away "Y/N you're stunning, you are above every concept of existing perfection, you are flawless. Every mark, every mound, every round and curve of your body, they're just..."

His eyes staring deep into your soul while he leaves a kiss on your cheek and chin, then placing his head on the crook fo your neck. "They're just enchanting, I feel mesmerizing by every inch of you. You're delightful, Y/N. And the world should know that too."

After that he would just hold you tight and say "And I want to show off everyone that beautiful s/o of mine, show them how lucky I am to have you by my side!"

extra: if you were hardly unease with it, he would take off his clothes in order to try "avoiding" attention to you, catching it only to him like "let everyone look at me, till you feel safe and then you can slay all of these ugly asses ahead with you strondous beauty"

Kamo Choso

Choso is my sweet little boy (not that little) so the moment he realized you were insecure about how your body looked like, he would lowkey try to show you how mistaken you were;

Little things like compliments, soft touches, caring kisses, always reassuring you how beautiful you are, how wonderful your body is;

So there's this day you both are at home, watching a movie on Netflix and you're laying your head on his lap and he's sitting onto he couch with one of his hands on your waist, the other one is scratching your hair fondly;

But when he starts to move his hand up and down your sides, you feel your body stiffen, afraid of what he will think of your dip hips, since they're so profound and so noticeable;

You move yourself a little, trying to avoid his hand to touch that part of your body, but also trying not to get his attention from what you were doing

You don't know but he already understood what you're acting up;

"Y/N" He says, still focusing his eyes on the TV but the tip is his fingers caring on your sides;

"Uh, love?" Your cheeks rush in red as he softly places his hands on the valley of your sides, right down your hip bones;

"Can we switch places? Wanna lay down on your beautiful legs" his voice was distracted because of the movie you could swear he wasnt talking to you, so sudden were his words;

"Ye-yes, you can, Cho" You say lifting your body up to change places with him, but then you feel a big pair of arms around your body, clenching tight on you.

You retrieve his hug, packing your arms hands hands on his back, smelling his parfum's scent;

Choso's hugs are so warm and comfortable, you could live in between his arms like, forever;

"Why this so sudden-" you start to say but then you feel a kiss on your mouth, and then a kiss on your right cheek and then on your left cheek. "Cho?"

"What?" He's chuckling on your skin, never stopping his kisses trail on your jawline, then your neck, your shoulders, his hands are now on your hair, stroking your locks fondly "I can love you, can't I? I'm just showing you how you deserve to be loved, Y/N"

He catches your hand and then leave it a kiss on it;

"Such a gentleman..." You mutter behind the growing smile you have, his eyes never leaving yours as he places both of his hands upon your shelf hips;

"Y/N, you're lovely, you know?" His hands are warm on your covered skin, and you suddenly feel nothing but his caress on it;

"You're... You're something more. You've always been. And sometimes I think I don't deserve someone as wonderful as you are. As beautiful as you are. No one in the world looks like you, and, If someone had the tiniest similarity to you, they should've happy about how blessed they were"

"Every inch of you deserves to be loved. To be praised. You deserve to be fulfilled with compliments every day, every hour, every second."

"And, when you think you do not deserve it, Y/N, I'm here to remind you that yes, yes you're worth it. You're worth loving, caring, admiring. I love you, Y/N, I love you."

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mypoisonedvine · 4 years ago

Text

The Perfect Fit | Bucky Barnes x reader (part 2)

(part 1)

summary: after getting fitted by you, bucky’s going to try on the custom-made suits he’s bought. unless he makes his move now, he may not get to see you again, and he can’t let that happen.

word count: 6.5k

warnings: smut!!, fingering, oral (m and f receiving), a little d/s energy, mirror kink, stomach bulge kink, slight pain kink?, creampie kink, pussy spanking, light bondage, bucky being jealous

Bucky had a bone to pick with Tony, which was usually true but this wasn’t work-related for once. It wasn’t hard to find him in the same place he’d seen him last— eating his lunch in the kitchen, with Sam nearby chowing down on lo mein with a spring roll.

“Hey lefty, what’s cracking?” Tony greeted, mouth full but talking loudly anyways.

"I went down to that tailor you recommended—" Bucky began, but Tony was quick to interrupt.

"You went there? Dude, it's a really nice place, you can just call and she'll come to you instead, way more convenient."

"So now you say 'she'?"

Realization dawned on Tony’s expression. "Ahh, I get it. You're not used to a female tailor. Adds a little spice to getting fitted, huh?" he grinned, elbowing Bucky playfully.

Bucky’s throat felt a little dry when he heard that. "Don't tell me that's why you use her…"

"Hey now, I'm not a creep, I use her cause she's the best, and those house calls are great for discretion— you know, being a celebrity and all. The eye candy part is just gravy."

"Gravy candy sounds disgusting," Sam chimed in, missing the point entirely.

"Yeah, well, she mentioned some stuff that sure made you sound like a creep."

"Okay, well, you can't blame me for getting caught staring when I'm surrounded by fucking mirrors. Makes it hard to be stealthy."

"You could try not staring,” Bucky suggested flatly.

"Is that what you did?"

Tony smirked when Bucky failed to reply immediately. "Okay, so it's easier said than done,” Bucky admitted with a frown, “but still, I hope these house calls were strictly professional."

“What’s it to you, man? I think somebody’s jealous,” Tony purred.

“What? No, it’s not that,” Bucky denied.

“You love her,” Tony sing-songed, completely ignoring Bucky. “You looooooove her!”

"You are so immature," Bucky rolled his eyes, even though his heart was racing and he was pretty sure he was blushing.

"No, it's good for you! She's a catch, you're all brooding and stuff— maybe she can melt the Winter Soldier's frozen heart, hm?"

Sam laughed heartily. "Stark, you read too many comic books."

"You're saying you don't wanna see Icy Hot here shoot his shot with my tailor?" Tony asked, turning his attention towards Sam.

Sam pondered that, much to Bucky's dismay. "Depends. How hot is she?"

"Mega," Tony smirked confidently. "Legs for miles, and she wears these skirts that make her ass look—"

"I think I've heard enough," Bucky groaned. "I'm leaving. And don't ask when I'm going to see her again," he instructed, interrupting Tony just as he'd opened his mouth to speak, "because I won’t tell you.”

As Bucky left, he could hear Tony calling out into the hall: “But I’d be such a great wingman!”

Truth be told, Bucky had put off mastering the use of his smartphone. It wasn’t just that new technology made him feel old, but that he knew nobody would be calling or messaging him anyways; if the phone didn’t work, he would spare himself the embarrassment of waiting up for nothing.

But once he knew you were going to call? Suddenly, he was motivated to figure the sucker out.

A few hours later and now all he had to do was stare at it to make sure he wouldn’t miss you. Luckily, you didn’t make him wait too long. He recognized the number and decided to let it ring a few times before picking up, so it would seem like he had other things to do besides talk to you.

“Hello?” Bucky asked when he answered, so it would seem like he had other people calling him besides you.

You introduced yourself so formally that he was a little afraid that all that fun energy between you two would be gone. Thankfully, once he asked what you were calling about, you were back to being cheery and casual again.

“I was just calling to schedule when I could come by with your new suits!” you explained, sounding chipper.

His fingertips were a little tingly just from hearing you talk, nervousness making him antsy (in a weirdly good way). “I know you said it’s a one-person operation,” he responded smarmily, “but I figured you would outsource delivery.”

You scoffed, though it sounded more amused than irritated. “It’s not just delivery, I have to check the fit and make sure everything’s exactly to your liking.”

“Oh, well, I’m free all day tomorrow— and I think you already know my address.” Was it too forward? Too obvious? And why did Bucky spend half the time when he was talking to you second-guessing himself?

“Yes, Stark Tower is a relatively common destination for me. If he doesn’t mind us using it, Tony has a dressing room with plenty of mirrors so you can get a good look. But, I’d be happy to just go up to your quarters if that’s easier.”

He was not at all ready for you to see his room. No way he could clean it enough in the next twelve hours; and even then, lots of the team had made fun of how empty and plain it was, so he knew it would just make you think he was boring.

“I’m sure Tony won’t mind you using his dressing room, but he might mind me using it,” Bucky chuckled.

“Well, if he makes a fuss I’ll be sure to set him straight,” you decided confidently. Somehow, imagining you cursing out Tony was almost hotter than imagining you doing anything else. “Be sure to bring down your dress shoes so you get the full look and everything.”

“Uhhh…” he trailed off as he scratched the back of his head, trying to remember if he owned anything other than combat boots. “Not sure I still have those, to be honest.”

"Okay, you'll need shoes too,” you noted aloud, your voice a little distant; he figured you were writing things down, which was why you sounded distracted. “What size are you?"

"Thirteen."

"I'll bring a selection tomorrow,” you announced firmly. “And socks, of course. And some watches, maybe? And pocket squares."

"Is that it?" he asked sarcastically.

“Oh right, I’m bringing the ties you picked out, too. I’ll throw in some alternates in case your original choices don’t match the way you were hoping.”

“You really are full-service,” he chuckled.

“I get that a lot,” you replied, a hint of coyness to your tone.

There it was again; that jealousy. He hated it because he knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t stop it either. As much as his mind was completely aware that you were an independent, modern woman capable of handling herself, his heart was equally determined to protect you, and spoil you, and do whatever was necessary to make sure you were safe.

Worse, his gut was less innocent. Mine, it demanded, all mine. Nobody else’s.

He pushed it down and just tried to get through the rest of the call without saying something he’d regret. You confirmed the date and time with him, and he tried not to be too aggressive when he said he was looking forward to it.

He hung up his phone and sighed, staring off into space. Now all that was left to do was wait, and be overwhelmed with anxiety. Thankfully, he was good at the second thing.

"So, what do you think?"

I think you look so damn good from every angle. I think I might spend all my money on suits just to be sure I can see you again. I think you need somebody to love you the way you deserve. I think you’d look like an angel waking up in my bed.

You waved your hand in front of his face for a moment, calling his attention back to reality. “Helloooo?”

Drawn out of his trance, Bucky finally looked in the menagerie of mirrors surrounding him and admired his reflection, amazed by the perfect fit of his first suit. The difference in quality between this and something off the rack was beyond apparent. Most of all, your talent was undeniable. "I think it's beautiful."

You smiled proudly. "Of course it is, but do you like how you look in it?"

"Honestly? I feel a bit… out of place. I'm obviously not classy enough for a suit like this."

"Oh, nonsense," you dismissed.

He frowned, convinced this was all flattery. "No, seriously, this is… maybe I should just wear tactical gear to every event."

"Well, you'd still look good, but you're not always a soldier. Sometimes you're only a man. And every man should own a fine suit."

It was much too profound of a thing to say while you casually straightened his jacket, only to pop out from behind his reflection to smile at him in the mirror.

“Let’s get the next one on you,” you decided, helping him lose the jacket but having him move into a private dressing room to switch trousers and shirts. “I put a turtleneck in there instead of just a regular button-up,” you explained through the door as he changed, “in case you wanted to see it that way.”

Once he’d put it on, he stepped back out and you were looking at him so proudly— well, you were looking at your handiwork with pride, really, but he could pretend it was for him and hope actually impress you that much one day.

“I went with a shawl lapel on this one, as opposed to the last one which was notched,” you explained as you traced the line with your finger. “Spoiler: the next one has a peak lapel. But enough about that one: what do you think of this one?”

“This looks like something my friend Sam would wear,” Bucky decided as he looked at himself in the cranberry suit and black turtleneck. The shoes you’d had him try on with this were intricate as well, with subtle stitching in the leather and a shine so immaculate he could almost see a reflection in them.

“Well, is your friend Sam stylish?” you asked.

“He would certainly say so,” he smirked.

“I’m inclined to agree, because you—” you gave him a thorough glance up and down, so thorough in fact that he felt a bit exposed under your gaze, “—look marvelous.”

“Not pretentious?”

“No, no, it works on you,” you assured, “you’ve got the looks for it.”

“And what looks are those?”

“Um… good? Good looks?”

He definitely remembered a time when that seemed like the obvious answer, because he had relied on being good-looking for a lot of things in life, but that felt very far away now. Maybe it was just that people who didn’t know what he’d done could still think he was good looking, but everyone else saw the evil within beginning to leak out the way that he did.

But you knew what he’d done, didn’t you? You had to. You knew Tony, you were here at the Tower… unless you were intentionally not up-to-date on current events, you must have heard of the Winter Soldier.

“Don’t act so surprised,” you huffed, “as if it’s a big secret or something. You’re obviously very attractive.”

Bucky cleared his throat nervously. “Uh, thanks.” He wanted to return the compliment, but thought it might be inappropriate or rude somehow. You broke the silence quickly as you held up two pocket squares in front of him.

“Which of these do you prefer?” you prompted. He selected the solid gold one, making you smile. “I knew you’d pick that one.”

“How?”

“I dunno, just fits you,” you shrugged as you folded it and gently placed it in his pocket. Even through so many layers, your touch on his chest made his heart flutter. Your fingers brushing over his as you slipped a watch onto his wrist was enough to cause palpitations.

He looked better in this ensemble than he expected. This version of himself looked much more likely to be invited to parties than any other version. If only he actually wanted to go to parties.

You put him in the pinstripe suit last, after putting a few pins in the cranberry suit to indicate minor changes you would make later, and stepped back to ponder your work.

"Hm, unbutton those top two buttons for me?" you requested with a raised eyebrow.

I will if you do, he thought to himself, but silently unbuttoned his own shirt anyway.

"I mean, it definitely works like this, but I wanna see you in a tie. And I've got juuuuust the one," you smiled. Soon you were approaching him with a red paisley tie, and helping him button up his shirt and tying the tie for him— you explained something about how it was a unique knot he likely couldn't do himself, but he was too lost in having you so close to notice. It would be so easy to just reach up and grab your waist, pull you into a kiss, finally tell you how bad he wants you.

Well, it would be physically easy, but it would be very scary. Just imagining it had his heart racing.

“I heard from Tony this morning,” you informed him suddenly, slipping the tie around his neck and popping his collar up for him.

“Really? Is he in need of a wardrobe update?”

“Yes, but he hasn’t realized that yet so that wasn’t what he called about.”

He laughed a little at the jab, though it also made him a little worried what secret opinions you held about his own style (or lack thereof).

“We talked about you, actually,” you added.

“O-oh,” Bucky stammered, “uh, he’s not exactly my biggest fan. So whatever he said probably isn’t true.”

“He said that you have a crush on me,” you replied nonchalantly, not even looking up from your work on his tie.

Bucky gulped, and he knew you saw the bob of his Adam’s apple because you were staring right at his neck.

“Like I said, Tony isn’t a very reliable source,” Bucky replied, but his voice cracked in the middle and he cringed internally.

“I’ll write it off as another one of Tony’s off-color jokes then,” you dismissed, perfecting the knot of his tie and stepping back to observe him. He always felt nervous when you looked at him like that, like he couldn’t hide anything from you.

“What… what did you say, when he told you that?” Bucky asked nervously.

“I asked him what he was smoking and if I could have some,” you laughed. “I thought it was totally impossible— and don’t worry, I didn’t tell him that you got hard when I did your inseam.”

Bucky’s throat became dry at the same moment that his palms got clammy.

“I— um, I was just—”

“Oh, it’s fine,” you dismissed quickly, still talking about this all so casually which only made him even more confused, “you’re not the first, it happens.”

“I’m not the first?!”

“Yeah, if anything you were one of the few who didn’t say something creepy about it, which is always appreciated. It’s just a bodily reaction, you can’t control it.”

“Did Tony ever say something creepy?” Bucky pressed, his hands involuntarily tightening into fists— another bodily reaction he couldn’t control.

“You know, Tony said you were really worried that he had been inappropriate with me, or even that he and I had a fling or something,” you added as you stepped back, giving him a quizzical look, “and now it’s sort of sounding like he was right.”

“No, no, it’s not that, I just—”

“Was he right about anything else?” you pressed, raising an eyebrow.

“I was being nosy, I’m sorry,” he sighed, “it’s just that… and I know it’s none of my business, but the idea of him and you… it isn’t a pleasant mental image.”

You laughed a little, in a way that made him feel kind of small. “Why not? You know how he is. Definitely has a wandering eye… and occasionally a wandering hand.”

Bucky winced. “I swear, if he ever put his hands on you, I’ll go find him right now and beat him senseless.”

“What if I wanted him to?”

He nearly saw red, but he knew he had no right to be angry. You were a grown adult and he had no ownership over you… he just sort of wished that he did.

“So it’s true then? You and him…?”

“No, Bucky,” you laughed, “it’s not. Nothing’s ever happened between us. I generally don’t get involved with clients like that.”

“Generally? Is there an exception?”

You chewed your lip, seemingly a little thrown off by his question. “Uh, I mean, no— I’ve never been involved with a client, no, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Why would you say ‘generally’ then?”

“Uh, I guess I just… I wouldn’t want to rule anything out, that’s all. Never say never.”

And for a moment he almost wondered if you were flirting with him. Certainly not, with him having come across as both a jealous hot-head and a bumbling dweeb who pops a boner faster than a randy teenager, but just for a second the way you looked at him was… questionable.

“I mean, who knows,” you continued, “what if, hypothetically, some gorgeous guy walked into my store one night— a sensitive guy, who made me laugh and put up with me rambling about ties for the better part of an hour— and I was supposed to dress him up when all I wanted to do was undress him?”

Your finger started to trail down his chest lightly, tickling his skin through the dress shirt.

“I wouldn’t want to think he was off-limits just because he’s a customer… right?” you asked quietly, looking up at him and biting your lip.

He was afraid to make the wrong move, but he really really hoped this was flirting.

“I don’t think anyone would object to being dressed or undressed by you,” Bucky responded, hoping he could stay neutral until he was sure what you were talking about.

You chewed your lip, looking away as if you were thinking about something.

"I know I certainly haven't. And wouldn't," he added, feeling the need to say something.

You nodded, placing his tie inside his jacket and seeming happy with your work.

“You know, the fit looks great," you announced, "but I’m a little worried that one of the measurements was wrong. Mind if I do your inseam again?”

His throat was dry all of a sudden, but he responded quickly anyways. "Uh, go ahead…"

You looked up at him as you started to sink to your knees, very slowly. That little move looked real good in the mirror behind you. “Last time I did this, there was something getting in the way, made it difficult to know if I was doing it right…”

"M-my apologies," he whispered.

"Oh no, I'm not complaining," you purred as you slowly began to run your fingers up the side of his leg, keeping searing eye contact until his knees felt a little weak.

When your hand reached the top of his inner thigh, the back of it brushed against his balls and he shivered. Delicately, and so excruciatingly slowly, your hand moved higher and gently rubbed his erection through the fabric.

“Fuck,” he whispered under his breath.

It must have been all the anticipation that made it so intense, made shivers run up his spine every time your hand moved over his length, made his toes curl inside the ridiculously fancy shoes you’d put him in.

“I’m gonna take it out now, okay? I promise I won’t measure you here,” you winked.

"You can if you want," he shrugged, deciding now was the time for feigned confidence if there ever was one. “I mean, if you’re worried about fit…”

You bit your lip, and he was proud to see the effect his words had on you. “I’ll be honest, I am a little worried it won’t fit…” You were quick with his belt, but slow with his button and fly, apparently having more fun teasing him. “Fuck, Bucky,” you groaned softly as you took his cock out.

“Don’t look so excited, doll, you’ll give me an ego,” he purred.

“Can’t help it,” you sighed, “looks delicious.”

You licked a long wet stripe up from the bottom all the way to the tip, making a show of licking up the bead of pre-cum before taking his head into your mouth, and Bucky blinked a few times to be sure that this was actually happening.

"Been wanting to do that since I first saw you," you admitted, grinning as you stroked him right beside your face, which only helped to illustrate how big he was compared to you.

"Dirty girl," he praised with a smirk.

Flirting, he wasn’t so good at. Conversation in any form typically stressed him out. But this? This he was still pretty good at. And he’d never wanted it so bad before.

When you took him in your mouth again, you didn’t stop until you started to gag; he couldn’t stop himself from moaning through his teeth when you did it.

"Look up at me, princess," he instructed softly, grinning when you obeyed quickly. "Now look over there at that mirror. Look how good you look on your knees for me, choking on my cock."

You moaned around him when you made eye contact with your own reflection, and it felt so fucking good he almost lost it right then and there. He held your jaw, almost too tightly, and guided you as your head bobbed on his length. Your mouth was so warm he thought he would burn up— and it only got warmer the deeper he managed to get. God, he was so ready to pump his load right into your throat, but he wanted to do so much more to you first.

In one quick motion, he pushed you off of his cock, pulled you up to face him, and flipped you around, holding you to his chest with the metal arm and letting the flesh one start rubbing your thigh. This way, both of you were looking at the mirror in front of you, and he loved watching you gasp and moan as you felt and watched his fingers move higher and higher.

“I think it’s time to find out if you really are ‘full-service’,” he purred right against your ear, making searing eye contact with you in the reflection. “You’ve seen so much of me, but I haven’t seen nearly enough of you yet. Been daydreaming about what you could be hiding under these tight little skirts.”

As he pulled up the plaid-patterned fabric, he saw that you were wearing white, lacy panties and he groaned deeply.

“What are you wearing these for?” he teased, rubbing along the edge but never getting where you wanted— and he knew you were getting desperate, because your hips were starting to buck up into his hand. “Were you expecting something would happen today, sweetheart?”

“I— I was hopeful,” you stammered; instantly, he slapped you right on your barely-covered pussy, just hard enough to make you yelp and squirm in his grasp.

“You’re so shameless,” he chuckled darkly, “and I love it. I just hope this isn’t your usual routine— acting all innocent and batting your eyes so your clients will fuck you.”

“No, I swear, it’s just you, Bucky,” you whimpered, “there’s nobody else, please…”

“Please what? Tell me what you want.”

“I want you to… to touch me more,” you whispered, as if it was a secret and not patently obvious.

He slipped two fingers underneath the thin fabric, finding your clit right away (not difficult at all with how swollen it was) and rubbing it in gentle circles.

“Oh god,” you sighed, “Bucky…”

WIth his hand on your hips, it wasn’t hard at all to push you back into him so he could rub his aching cock against you.

"What material is this skirt made of?"

"It's a silk blend," you answered breathlessly, "about 30% cotton."

"It's soft," he purred before yanking your skirt up higher and pressing his cock against your ass instead, "but not as soft as you."

Next to go was your blouse, which he tore open to the sound of buttons flying every direction and bouncing off of the mirrors and floors.

"Bucky!" you yelped, but he could see your nipples harden through the lacy white bra. If there was any doubt that you had intended to seduce him today, the matching undergarments dispelled it.

After teasing your nipples between his fingers for a moment, he reached back down between your legs— and when his fingers slipped through your folds and moved down to your opening, he actually moaned just from how wet you are.

"Fucking hell," he growled, "you are drenched, princess. You liked sucking me off that much?"

"Not just that," you clarified, "you look really good in my suits."

He gave you a toothy smile in the mirror, using it to nibble on your ear a bit. "You deserve most of the credit for that," he purred.

"No, no, I don't," you whined, "you'd look sexy in a paper bag, honestly… you turn me on so much, Bucky."

“Did you… think about me? After I left your shop the other night?” he asked playfully, already foreseeing your answer from the way your thighs clenched and your lips let out the subtlest gasp.

“Yes,” you whimpered.

“You’re smart enough to know I want you to be more specific than that,” he chuckled.

“I thought about you that night… after I got into bed…” you elaborated slowly, clearly distracted by the way he was moving his fingers: delicately, but with obvious intentionality. “I thought about what it would’ve been like if you had grabbed me and kissed me, shoved me against the wall, fucked me right there on my desk… in front of the glass wall, where anyone could’ve walked by and seen you claim me…”

His cock was throbbing, and he wasn’t sure if it was from the image itself or from the knowledge that you’d been fantasizing about it. “Were you touching yourself?” he growled.

“Yes,” you sighed, your thighs starting to visibly shake, your knees bending towards each other in the mirror.

“Show me how,” he demanded. “Show me exactly how you were playing with your needy little pussy while you thought about me.”

Your hand found its place on top of his, your fingers starting to move his to the specific place, guiding his movements to be faster and rougher.

“Oh, I see,” he grinned, “you don’t like to tease yourself, do you? You like to jump right into it, come as many times as you can and rub yourself raw in the process?”

You nodded feverishly, panting and whining and writhing in his grasp.

“You’re so desperate, honey… such a shameless cockwhore for me.”

“For you,” you repeated through your trance, “Bucky, ‘m close… keep touching me, please…”

He kept his thumb on your clit but gently slid one finger inside you, both of you gasping at the sensation (if for different reasons).

“So tight,” he hissed, already pulling it back out, “fuck, and just for one finger…”

“More, please,” you begged mindlessly.

“More? Sure you can take it?”

You bit down on your lip as you nodded, and he pushed a second finger in beside his first. He felt you struggling with it, both in your walls and in the way you winced a little, but you softly begged him to keep going so of course he couldn’t stop. You adjusted quickly, your wetness starting to run down his hand.

“Fuck me,” you whimpered, “now, please, can’t wait anymore.”

“Yes you can,” he encouraged, “and you will, cause I need to taste you first.”

Pulling his fingers out of you, he flipped you around again, finally kissing you the way he’d been dreaming of since he first saw you. It was intense but not too dominating— in spite of everything. It was a romantic sort of kiss, maybe too romantic for the situation (that being his cock out and hard and pressed against you, and his fingers covered in your arousal) but perfect nonetheless.

“That’s not what I thought you meant when you said you wanted to taste me,” you giggled when he pulled away.

“No, I meant it the other way,” he smiled, “I just wanted to do that first.”

He picked you up suddenly, making you gasp a bit, but knelt down to lay you on the floor pretty soon after. You looked up at him with wide eyes as he lifted your leg and kissed his way up. He could smell your need, and he worried it would drive him wild before he reached his destination.

Pulling your soaked panties aside, he realized he could probably come just from looking at you. “Such a gorgeous pussy,” he growled his praise, leaning down to plant a few more teasing kisses over the inside of your thighs. Finally, he started with one long lick, just like you had with him, but you weren’t so patient to tolerate it. Nearly instantly your fingers pulled his hair, clearly trying to guide him to tease you less, but he couldn’t be swayed to go easy on you.

“I hope you’re not forgetting who’s in charge,” he smiled hungrily.

“And what if I am?” you returned, clearly looking to get on his nerves so he’d get rough with you. He was happy to oblige.

Bucky sat up and loosened his tie, slipping it off of his neck with a smirk. "Now, this is 100% Venetian silk, so it should feel nice around your wrists," he cooed. You offered your hands willingly, and he got a chance to show off a few complex knots of his own. "Now be a good girl and keep those hands above your head, alright?"

You did as he asked, freeing him to hold your legs open as he devoured you, alternating between teasing your bud with the tip of his tongue, and fucking you with it.

"You taste like heaven, doll," he growled when he came up quickly, "and the way you moan when my tongue's inside you? I swear I could die happy right now."

"I wish you wouldn't though," you whimpered.

He laughed a bit before he got back to it, letting his tongue focus on your clit while he filled you with his fingers again. Your walls clenched down on him occasionally, and when it became more frequent just as your moans became louder, he knew you were close.

"Stop, stop," you sighed suddenly, pushing him away.

"Are you alright?" he asked, nervous he'd done something wrong.

"No I'm fine, I just… I don't want to come yet. I want you inside me first."

"And what about what I want, hm? What if I want to watch you come just from my tongue?" he offered instead, though he was definitely still very persuadable in this regard.

"I know you wanna fuck me, Bucky, don't make me wait any longer,” you moaned, your back arching up a little from the floor.

Not needing to be told twice, he flipped you onto your elbows and knees, making sure you could support yourself with bound wrists before letting you go. His hands running over your exposed ass and thighs made you shiver, and he smiled down at you. At this point, he was probably more desperate than you were, but he was doing a much better job of hiding it, even taking the time to reach up and undo a few of the buttons of his shirt, because wow suits are warm and not meant for his level of physical activity.

Still, he figured he had waited long enough— he needed to fuck you while he still had at least a shred of patience left. He was going to need it if he was going to give you time to adjust to him.

Holding his cock and rubbing it through your folds, he chuckled when you whined and dropped your head down in a pout. He loved watching your expression shift into a gasp as he pushed in.

He went slow, but he didn't stop either. He wanted to test you just a little. He wanted to stretch you open.

"Fuck," you cried, "god, you're so… you feel so…"

"Look in the mirror," he instructed coldly, although the coldness was just a front for the way he was holding himself back as your body swallowed him so beautifully.

You moaned again, higher-pitched and weak, just as he finally got all the way in. He waited until he felt your body relax a bit before he asked if it was okay for him to move yet. You answered with a quick nod, a breathy "please," and he didn't need any more encouragement.

It was probably too fast to start off with, but god, he'd been waiting so long to fuck you like this.

"Baby," he whispered, "you're so perfect."

He held you steady and thrusted deep, so deep that it made you gasp each time. You looked incredible, and you felt incredible, but the way you sounded was just… divine. He could never have imagined the beautiful way you would sound when he was bringing you pleasure like this. Having heard it, he wanted to make you sound like this as often as possible from now on. Technically he couldn’t even be sure he’d get another chance to, but surely sounds this perfect meant you had to be having a good time, right? Ideally a good enough time to call him again?

He was snapped back to focus when he saw your eyes flutter shut with pleasure.

"Don't look away from that mirror, honey," he growled, "don't close your eyes. Look how pretty you look like this."

He could tell you loved it from the way your channel fluttered and flexed.

"You like watching yourself get fucked, princess?"

"Yes," you sobbed as he grabbed your hips harder, hoping to leave a bruise, "it feels so good, Bucky, please don't stop!"

"I won't stop, pretty girl. Not until you cream on my cock," he grunted.

"Fuck, I'm close," you whined, "Bucky, I'm gonna come— oh god right there!"

And he was sure it couldn’t be fake from the way your body tightened and released so many times, the way you quivered and your breathing seemed to stop for a moment. Even though he could barely take it, he kept fucking you through it until you were shaking so violently that he worried about your health.

“You feel so goddamn good when you come, princess,” he moaned softly. “Tryin’ to milk my cock for all it’s worth, aren’t you?”

You laughed a little, sounding exhausted, but as he kept fucking you he could feel how sensitive you had become. When he reached down to push your skirt back up to your waist after it had started to fall down a bit, he felt his own movements in your gut and it took so much not to lose his cool in that moment. Instead, he pulled your upper body into his so that you could see in the mirror the way your lower stomach was bulging a bit each time he pushed in all the way.

"F-fuck, Bucky," you whimpered.

"Anybody ever been that deep inside you before?"

"No, not even close," you moaned.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked gently, kissing up and down your neck slowly to match his lazy, teasing thrusts.

"A little," you admitted, "but it feels good. Don't stop."

He wasn’t so brutal with his thrusts, still deep but with a patient, measured pace. It staved off his orgasm a bit longer, and it made you moan all slow and throaty which was not better or worse than the needy, high-pitched moans, but enjoyably different. You didn’t sound as desperate anymore (probably because you’d already come), instead seeming relaxed and calm— if still arching your back and biting your lip nonetheless.

"I wanna come inside you," he whispered right against your ear; he could feel the way you shivered as a result.

"Please," you whimpered.

"Is that what you want? Wanna be full of my come?"

"Yes," you sobbed, "yes, please Bucky I need it so bad!"

"Fuck, gonna fill you up so good, doll," he promised gruffly. "Want me to make you mine, beautiful?"

He knew it was a risky thing to say, but his risks had paid off so far, and he wasn't in his most cautious mood.

"Already yours, Bucky," you sighed, "I'm yours, please come in me…"

It hit him suddenly when you said that, and harder than he expected. He hadn't come like that in… he hadn't come like that ever. He preferred not to think about the sudden, wavering moan he let out in that moment because he wondered if it sounded unsexy, but thankfully his mind was distracted by the overwhelming sensation of his softening, sensitive cock still within you.

He managed to maneuver you in the way he needed as he pulled out, leaning you back into him and holding your legs open to the mirror in front of you.

"Look in the mirror, sweetheart,” he instructed, his whisper a little labored as he was still catching his breath, “watch my come leak outta your pussy."

You seemed to be in awe of it, despite it being the obvious outcome of what had just happened. To be fair, he was in awe of it in a sense, too; a thick, slow stream of sticky white come dripping down from your swollen hole and onto the floor… it was mesmerizing.

Your body was limp in his arms as he finally allowed you to rest, your eyes falling shut as you melted into his embrace. He took a moment to untie your wrists, tossing the garment aside with an exhausted sigh. “Bucky…” you mumbled sleepily, apparently just to say his name.

“Was that… sort of what you were hoping for today?” he asked softly, kissing your temple.

“And more,” you giggled. “Oh my god, I… I don’t even know how to describe that… you’re so… fuck, I don’t know, my brain is totally jelly right now.”

“In a good way?”

“In the best way.”

He smiled, admiring your vacant-yet-pleased expression and feeling satisfied with his work. You turned over to lay your head on his chest, and he gladly draped his arms around you in response. Holding you like this felt so purely right, in a way so few things did to him. Funny enough, even just having fucked you on the floor and already holding you afterwards right now, he felt nervous again that he would say something wrong. You were a modern woman, after all, and maybe this was this ‘hook-up culture’ he kept hearing about.

“Was that true what you said, doll?” he asked gently, feeling you stir a little and slide a leg up to rest over his. “Did you mean it when you said that you were mine? Or was it just, you know, the heat of the moment…?”

You smiled a little, looking kind of embarrassed. “Um, yeah, I meant that… I’m yours, if you want me to be.”

He didn’t feel as guilty for feeling so possessive over you now. Clearly it was appreciated, in the right context. And he was now at least 75% sure that this wasn’t a hook-up. “Well, I’m yours, too,” he replied with a soft laugh, “whether you want me or not.”

“I want you,” you confirmed.

You laid in silence together for some unknowable amount of time, but it was a purely unawkward silence. A peaceful silence, and one filled with possibilities, but not uncomfortable. Maybe it was uncomfortable in the sense that the carpet, while still being very plushy and expensive, was still the floor and not as forgiving as a bed… but it was completely worth it.

Part of him feared to ruin the moment by speaking, but much more of him feared that you would slip out of his grasp if he didn’t say something. "This may be the wrong time to ask this— or maybe just the wrong order to do this stuff in— but I wanted to ask if you'd like to join me for dinner sometime."

You laughed, but cuddled deeper into his chest. "Um, yeah, that would be nice."

"I just hope I'll find something nice to wear," he grinned.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes headcanons #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n

1K notes · View notes

miekasa · 4 years ago

Text

fluff alphabet: eren jaeger

↯ pairing: eren jaeger x (fem) reader

↯ genres and warnings: modern au, more fluff but that’s what you come here for at this point

↯ word count: 3.5k… again… i’m sorry…?

↯ notes: i don’t know why all of these are so long, but here you go again

Activities — What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Honestly, anything. I’ve said before that I think the love language he gives/expresses the most is quality time. That being said, almost anything you want to do, Eren is down to do with you.

In fact, you don’t even have to do anything. Eren just likes being in your presence. He could spend several days inside your apartment doing nothing but talking to you.

He does get a little antsy sometimes, so he would plan fun dates to get you both out of the house; but again, if you wanted to plan something instead of him, he wouldn’t be opposed.

Takes you to places like amusement parks and fairs, bars/new restaurants, swimming, basically anything he can find. His guilty pleasure is karaoke, and insists that the both of you get drunk and sing your little hearts out to pop songs until 1am.

Beauty — What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Eren thinks you’re pretty. All the time, and he makes it a point to tell you at least twice a day; often times, more.

If you have small/specific beauty marks or scars or anything on your skin, Eren is infatuated with them. Whenever you’re cuddling he’ll seek them out/trace them/kiss them.

Everytime he finds a new one he gasps like a child and is like “Babe! Did you know you have a little freckle here, look!”

If you have a passion for something, or are just general a pretty organized student, Eren would admire that about you. He somewhat looks up to you in those respects, too.

Comfort — How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack, etc.?

To him, the best method is to give you something to do—so, in a sense, provide a distraction for you.

He’ll try and teach you about his favorite video games and have you play with him. Even if you’re bad or you say you don’t want to, he’ll insist, and use teaching you as a method to get your mind off of whatever’s bothering you.

He’s not always the most perceptive, but he can tell when you’re sadder than usual, or obviously, when you’re upset.

He also gives good hugs. If all else fails and he feels like he can’t help you in any other tangible way, he’ll just hug you for as long as he can.

Dreams — How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Honestly, how ever you picture things, is how ever Eren is going to picture them, too. Mostly, he just wants to have fun with you, and wants to continue making you happy for as long as he can.

His biggest goal is that one day he wants to feel truly worthy of all the affection you give him; he wants to be good enough to be someone you choose to stay with.

Equal — Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Eren kind of falls for/into those “traditional” relationship roles; and while part of it is definitely an “I’m the man, so I want to do this” mindset, most of it is kind of “Well, why wouldn’t I?”

A lot of Eren’s affection and actions come from a place that seem simple and almost instinctual to him; and he doesn’t even realize how profound his thoughts and actions can be.

For example, he’ll help you carry things or drive you around or open doors for you. All things that seem chivalrous and might be expected of a “man,” but to Eren they’re just things to do, if that makes sense?

He doesn’t do it because he thinks you’re not capable, nor to be particularly chivalrous. In his head, he’s thinking “I care about them, so obviously, I’m going to help them out.”

Fight — Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Disagreements may happen because Eren is very vocal about his opinions on things. That doesn’t mean that he’s not open to change, but you might find out you don’t agree to many things because he’ll voice his opinion on them.

Whenever you do argue, he makes the argument a lot worse in his mind than what’s actually going on. He tends to jump the gun a lot and make assumptions that you wouldn’t have gotten to yourself.

He might simmer and wallow in it for a little bit afterwards (especially if he thinks he was right), but after some time he would either see the light himself, have it knocked into him by Armin, or just not want to keep fighting with you. Even if he was right, he doesn’t want to waste time being mad about something that could be easily talked about.

Gratitude — How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Eren gets very easily flustered when he understands how much thought you put into things about/for him. Especially gifts—because he couldn’t fathom the idea of someone getting something tailored to him.

So, he’s very grateful. He almost thinks he’s undeserving of you and your affections to a certain point. Especially in moments when he’s hyperaware of just how much he means to you.

Honesty — Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He might have personal secrets and insecurities he doesn’t voice often because they can be hard to reckon with himself; but nothing scandalous that he’s keeping hidden.

He’s kind of an oversharer to be honest lolol. He doesn’t keep the things he’s doing/has done to himself, and is more than willing to tell you about his day, or his plans, or just anything.

If it’s something serious, he might sit on it for a while before coming clean to you, but he would eventually. He would just need the time to figure it out for himself first.

Inspiration — Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Being in a long-term relationship has taught Eren so much about how other people see him and his self-worth.

He either didn’t think much of himself as a whole person before; or thought his life and plans were kind of… dispensable to a certain extent. He didn’t necessarily feel like he needed to want anything bigger than himself, or for anyone but himself; but now he knows that that’s a path to fulfillment; and he knows he wants you.

It’s also taught him the importance of expressing himself in words. He was always good at it with actions, and he’s still not the best with his words, but he’s getting there. And it’s now a conscious effort on his part.

Jealousy — Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He can get jealous easily, but he doesn’t do anything about it a lot of the time. He knows that most of his feelings of jealous are surface level and petty, and he shouldn’t make an argument out of it.

When he gets jealous like that though—of someone maybe coming on to you at a party or a restaurant—the most he does is, like, obnoxiously clear his throat or roll his eyes, or just glare at the offending person. His glare is pretty effective honestly; most of the time it keeps people from approaching in the first place, and they say preventive measures are the best cure.

When you’re both home, he’s extra affectionate, and pouty about how he thinks everyone should just back off because he’s your boyfriend and the best boyfriend for you.

He actually gets a little upset if you don’t get a little bit jealous when people are obviously flirting with him. He would kind of like it if you had a light possessive instinct over him… it might turn him on a bit, too.

Kiss — Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He is very enthusiastic, and never turns down an opportunity to kiss you. Over time his kisses become more refined; that is more tailored to kissing you and not just kissing someone in general. Practice makes perfect, after all.

He was probably nervous as fuck during the first kiss, but played it off (or at least tried to). Likely very sweet and cautious; a series of small kisses that build up to something a little fuller.

Love Confession — How would they confess to their s/o?

He has a moment of realization. Like, a pretty big one; he either got there himself, or one of his friends said something like “Eren, don’t you… like them?”

When he has that moment, he either sits on it for a very, very, very long time; or just blurts it out at you because he can’t keep it in any more.

If you’re friends before hand, he would consider the possibilities of a relationship with you, but he already knows he likes being around you; and he would probably love being in a relationship with you because of that.

Marriage — Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

It can go either way with him. He could love the idea of marriage—because it’s like hanging out with your very best friend every single day. You get to live together, everybody knows you’re together, and you just get to spend the rest of your lives together. That sounds like a pretty sweet deal to him.

Or he could think it’s kind of a meh idea. He knows he loves you and he knows you love him, he doesn’t see why he would need to host what’s basically an expensive party and ceremony to show all of your close friends that. They should already know. But if you want to get married and have a fancy wedding, who is Eren to deny you that.

He seems like the type to fuck up his proposal a bunch of times and then eventually snap like “Fuck this—I love you, and I want to love you for the rest of my life, please marry me.”

Nicknames — What do they call their s/o?

He calls you “babe” more often than anything else.

When he’s drunk or just wanted to distract/annoy you, he’ll call you something super dramatic and sweet like “my little sugarplum” just to get a reaction out of you.

He has a slight possessive streak, so he also likes to call you his girl.

On Cloud Nine — What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He expresses his feelings mostly through spending time with you, but also by being your personal hype man. Eren is willing to support you and all of your ambitions, and might cheer a little too loudly for you on the sidelines, but at least you know he cares.

It’s quite obvious that Eren is in love, maybe not necessarily because he has heart eyes; but because he has this focus on improving himself. It would also be obvious in the way he talks about you to his friends and family. He might not even realize how often he slips your name into conversation, or adds tidbits about you when someone says something that reminds him of you.

He talks to his mom about you a lot, and she always has to hold back her little All-Knowing Mom Smirk because her baby is in love and she’s so happy for him.

PDA — Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss when others are watching?

It’s a complicated dynamic with Eren. He wants everyone to know he has a hot girlfriend, but also doesn’t want people talking about his relationship lmaooo. He’s both reserved and not-shy about it at the same time.

He’s not all that big on PDA, and would never kiss you in front of his friends because he knows he can be easily embarrassed (not embarrassed to be with you, but shy to do those kinds of things in front of his friends and get teased for it). Besides, he wouldn’t want any of his friends making out with their s/o in front of him.

He’ll hold your hand a lot though—but, again, to him, it’s not a conscious act of romance; he’s holding your hand because he wants to and he doesn’t realize that he wants to because he’s craving affection. He’s a little slow on the uptake with his own feelings; but he’s a lot quicker with actions.

He does kind of like it when you kiss him on the cheek, though. And if it’s been a long night of you and his friends hanging out together, he doesn’t mind if you get a little touchy with him when you’re sleepy.

Quirk — Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He’s really good at guessing when public transportation is going to come LMAOO. Like, yes, there’s a schedule for it, but he’s scary good at predicting how late/early it’s going to be which minimizes wait times. Eren doesn’t wait for the bus, the bus comes to Eren.

He’s also a pretty good photographer and has an eye for angles, so he’s good at taking pictures for you and of you when you’re out on dates. He’s also good at photographing food, and even though he thinks it’s pointless he’ll still do it for you.

Romance — How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s a balance of cliché and creative—it depends on the occasion.

For things like Valentine’s Day or anniversaries, he’ll probably go the classic, cliché route of getting you flowers and stuffed animals if you’re into that kind of thing.

But when it comes to birthdays, he can get very creative and thinks about your gift for a long time. Again, in his head it’s not romance, it’s just him doing what he thinks is right, but it turns out to be pretty damn romantic.

Support — Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Of course he believes in you! You helped him believe in himself, so obviously he’s going to want to help you do the same thing and support you while he’s at it.

This is one area where Eren never gets jealous—he always wants you to achieve your goals, and never compares your progress to him. He just wants you to be happy and will do what he can to help.

He gets a little frustrated if he can’t help you at all, but understands that maybe just moral and emotional support might be enough in those situations.

Thrill — Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He’s a little (very) unhinged, so he’s always down to try something new. He’s the kind of person who will take you bungee jumping on a date because it’s “fun” and “exciting.” Eren knows no boundaries, so very few things and experiences are off-limits to him.

He would like some kind a routine/established roles, but he’s always down to experiment. If he ends up not liking it, then so be it, but at least he can say he tried.

Understanding — How good to they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He knows you better than he thinks he does. He thinks about you a lot, especially when it comes to holidays/birthdays/gift giving and can get frustrated when he doesn’t find an answer right away, but he always pulls through in the end.

He kind of expects to know everything about you very quickly, which leads to obvious frustration. But over time, he learns almost everything he wants to know and then some; even if he isn’t the best at showing that he’s retained that information on a daily basis.

He needs someone to be empathetic towards him more than the other way around, but Eren would try hard to put himself in your shoes if you needed him to.

Value — How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

It’s very important to him, dare he say one of his top priorities.

Eren cares about people deeply, and you couldn’t be in a long-term relationship with him without him making you his business. Your relationship is special to him, and he wants to do his best to keep it going.

It might even come at the cost of some of his other obligations/relationships at first because he’s new to balancing life personal life and relationship; but over time he learns to balance things out. You’re still pretty damn high on his priority list, though.

Wild Card — A random fluff head canon.

Takes pictures and videos of you while you’re sleeping or falling asleep, and stitches them all together on your birthday and posts it to his story. Every single year without fail.

Got you both customized matching sneakers and gets stupidly giddy when you both wear them at the same time. He takes a billion pictures when you have them on.

Got you a nameplate anklet with his gamertag on it. Not so fluffy, but he really likes the way it looks on his shoulder 😌

XOXO — Are they ver affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Absolutely, he’s like an overgrown puppy on two legs, Eren loves to cuddle. He’s all over you, and very weak for any kind of affection when the two of you are alone.

He gets upset if you don’t sit directly next to (or on top of him) when you sit on the couch, and pouts about it before flopping on top of you instead.

His first move when he goes to your place or you come over is to wrap you in a hug, and he doesn’t let go for at least a full minute. And even then, he’ll probably waddle behind you in a back hug for a significant amount of time, or until you’re ready to lay down.

King of giving forehead kisses and bumping his nose against yours before his kisses your lips. He’s a sucker for all of it, no matter how much he plays it off when he’s around his friends.

Yearning — How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Simple: he will call you as many times as possible so as to make it feel like you never even left.

FaceTime is the most used app in Eren’s phone. If you’re away from him for a period of time, he’ll find any excuse to call you and see you, and he gets extra bold when flirting with you.

He also likes to steal your clothes/jewelry. He might put on one of your necklaces or chains or steal one of your bigger/more oversizes hoodies if you have them. Puts his big ass feet in your house slippers.

He sends you pictures of him in all your stuff too, claiming that if you want them back, then you should come see him to get them.

Zeal — Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?

He definitely is. In a modern au, again, I’m not sure what kind of great lengths they are to go to, but Eren will fight for you.

Even before you’re together, he’ll show you how dedicated he is to you and wanting to be with you.

Then, I suppose, his loyalty is his greatest display of zeal. Eren lets you know how dedicated he is to you and making your relationship work; and tries to prove it you (and himself a little bit) every day.

#aot x reader #snk x reader #eren x reader #eren x you #eren jaeger x reader #aot imagines #snk imagines #eren smut #eren fluff #levi x reader

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c-ptsdrecovery · 4 years ago

Photo

Source: What is C-PTSD from Beauty After Bruises

From that source:

WHAT DOES C-PTSD LOOK LIKE?

To delineate some these hallmark challenges - as outlined in the proposed Complex PTSD criteria - we'll begin with the one that shows up most frequently in day-to-day life: emotion regulation. Survivors with Complex PTSD have a very difficult time with emotions -- experiencing them, controlling them, and for many, just being able to comprehend or label them accurately. Many have unmanaged or persistent sadness, either explosive or inaccessible anger, and/or suicidal thoughts. They may be chronically numb, lack the appropriate affect in certain situations, be unable to triage sudden changes in emotional content, or struggle to level out after a great high/low. It's also very common for these survivors to re-experience emotions from trauma intrusively - particularly when triggered. These feelings are often disproportionate to the present situation, but are equal to the intensity of what was required of them at the time of a trauma -- also known as an emotional flashback.

Difficulty with self-perception is another fundamental struggle for complex trauma survivors -- particularly because their identity development was either fiercely interrupted or manipulated by someone with ulterior motives. In its simplest form, how they see themselves versus how the rest of the world does can be brutally different. Some may feel they carry or actually embody nothing but shame and shameful acts - that they are "bad". Others believe themselves to be fundamentally helpless; they were let down by so many who could've stopped their abuse but didn't, so it "must just be them". Many see themselves as responsible for what happened to them and thus unworthy of kindness or love because "they did this to themselves". And, countless others may feel defined by stigma, believe they are nothing more than their trauma, worry they're always in the way or a burden, or they may sense they're just completely and utterly different from anyone or anything around them - they are alien. Startling as it is, all of these feelings and more can live inside someone whom, to you, seems like the most brilliant, competent, strong, and compassionate human being you know.

Interruptions in consciousness are also a prevalent - and at times very scary - reality in Complex PTSD. Some may forget traumatic events (even if they knew of them once before), relive them intrusively, recall traumatic material in a different chronological order, or other distressing experiences of what is called dissociation. Dissociation is a symptom that exists on a spectrum, ranging anywhere from harmless daydreaming or temporarily "spacing out"; to more disruptive episodes of feeling disconnected from one's body or mental processes, not feeling real, or losing time; all the way to the most severe, which includes switching between self-states (or alters), as is seen in Dissociative Identity Disorder. Episodes of missing time can range anywhere from a few minutes, a couple days, or even large chunks of one's childhood. The larger gaps in time are typically only seen in DID, but those with C-PTSD alone can still endure 'interruptions in consciousness' that result in memory gaps, poor recall, traumatic material that is completely inaccessible, or, conversely, re-experiencing trauma against their will (e.g. flashbacks, intrusive images, body memories, etc.)

Difficulty with relationships may seem like a natural progression since each area mentioned thus far can affect how fruitful your relationships are. But, these challenges go beyond a lack in quality or richness. This refers more to a survivor's potential to feel completely isolated from peers and not even knowing how to engage, to harboring an outright refusal to trust anyone (or just not knowing why they ever should), trusting people way too easily (including those who are dangerous, due to a dulled sense of alarm), perpetually searching for a rescuer or to do the rescuing, seeking out friends and partners who are hurtful or abusive because it's the only thing that feels familiar, or even abruptly abandoning relationships that are going well for any number of reasons. With this in mind, and knowing more about the depths to which C-PTSD sufferers battle with their self-perception and interpersonal relationships, it may make it easier to empathize with them on the next category, which is:

The perception of one's perpetrators. This can be one of the most insidious battles for some survivors with Complex PTSD -- even if it seems crystal clear to those on the outside. Victims of such prolonged trauma may eventually surrender, assuming their abuser(s) total power over them, possibly even maintaining this belief once they're 'free'. "I'll always be under their thumb, they call all the shots, they may even know what's best for me more than I ever will." Others may feel deep sadness or profound guilt at just the thought of leaving them - including long after they've successfully left, if they were able. Some may remain transfixed by their abuser's charming side or the warm public persona that everyone loves; it may feel truly impossible to think ill of them. Many hold a constant longing for their abusers to just love them - craving their praise well into adulthood, slaving away in their personal lives just to make them proud. Alternatively, there are others who may obsess about them angrily, holding only hatred and disdain for them to the point of persistent bitterness and/or vengefulness. Some can even stir desires to seek that revenge. (Though, it should be clearly noted that it's not at all common for them to actually do so. It's more about the thoughts than the actions.)

Many survivors can have a primary, more surface-layer set of thoughts and feelings about their perpetrator(s), particularly when asked. They may know what they're "supposed to say" or "supposed to feel", and then follow suit. But it's helpful to know that a collection of all these responses can, and often does, coexist within one person, vacillating between extremes underneath what's shown to the world or even to themselves. Day to day, and year to year, their feelings may shift - and - what the survivor knows to be true intellectually versus what they feel emotionally may remain incongruent for a very long time.

One's 'System of Meanings'. Of the many, many well-observed developmental disruptions those with C-PTSD face, one that many find to be the toughest to conquer, even with therapy, is one with which we hope to offer the most help and support. That area is what's referred to as one's 'system of meanings' ; an area that, after being subjected to such tumultuous trauma, can feel almost irreparable. What this criterion is referring to is the struggle to hold on to any kind of sustaining faith or belief that justice will ever be served to indiscretions of ethics and morality. These survivors' outlook on life and the world at large can be unfairly contorted, and understandably so.

They may doubt there is any goodness or kindness in the world that isn't selfish-hearted. They may worry they'll never find forgiveness. Others may even believe they only came to this world to be hurt, so there can be no good coming for them. This level of hopelessness and despair, as well as these greater meanings assigned to their suffering, can fluctuate greatly over time. There may even come several years where things no longer feel so bleak or as though they were conned of a meaningful life. But, as more layers of trauma are processed in therapy, or new memories bubble to the surface, they may wrestle with it once more as new feelings strike a devastating chord inside their chest. This is a common experience for so many survivors, and can have lasting ramifications with each plunge. We want to be here to help bring pause to those deep swings into the darkness - doing what we can to keep survivors in the light a little longer. Or, better yet, support them in adding some of that light inside of themselves. That way, even if they need to hide in the darkness for a bit, the light never leaves them for good. We're still here.

#ptsd #depression #anxiety #complex ptsd #mental health

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